#I can do up to 60-70% cringe

[fairytalesofforever]

chatfics my beloved

[simp999]

I feel this is cringe but it itches the back of my mind like no other… since it’s late 60s early 70s in tf2, mercs reaction to there being a new recruit who is a female pilot? I’m sorry if this sounds like? Hyper specific ? But she’s like hot biker/pilot bitch who is like the epitome of Cool Girl (tm) flared ripped jeans and tight tank tops yk?

GOING INSANE OVER THIS ITS SUCH A COOL IDEA

I'm so sorry about how long it took to make this and how short it is, I'm trying to do all my requests in order of what I received em ww

TF2 Mercs x Badass Fem Pilot! Reader Headcannons

Wc: 730

Themes: uhh Fluff? Romantic and platonic depends on character

A/N: Sniper bias whoop

A/N 2: okay so. I try to stray away from fem reader stuff but this THIS is a complete exception because I love the idea sm

Taglist: @emotionally-alive-sniper @moopy-milk @skeleton-stomper-xoxo @emotionallyunwellmedic @physically-robotic-medic

Masterlist

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Scout: 

-God,, he is immediately in love with your style and vibes.

-Yes, in a simpery way

-Will absolutely fumble on words and flirt miserably

-"Hey girl are you a pilot cause uh you’re really cool"

-Absolutely will find clothes that he thinks suits your style and be your #1 hypeman 

Soldier:

-Wants to touch all the buttons

-"SHOW ME YOUR MEDALS!!!!!!"

-Does respect the effort and time you’ve put into training definetly. But is always asking you to prove yourself

-Okay you can pilot but can you do 30 pushups. Right here right now.

Pyro:

-Doesn’t think of you any differently if you’re female

-A new cool friend!!

-Just an adorable little goober. Okay maybe they get to sit in the front sometimes

-Loves loves loves making drawings of you and them and planes!!!! And clouds

Heavy: 

-Protective older brother.

-He is SO overprotective of you. You remind him too much of his sisters.

-You’re strong just like them but,, it’s just scary, y’know? He misses them

-Often just kinda chills around- and won’t stand for ANY harassment or anything rude. AHEM spy AHEM

-And the clear bias for you? It’s honestly funny at times

-He definetly makes you sandviches and just. Silently takes care of you

Engie:

-Rocket boosters for the planes. He’s gonna bring it up on multiple occasions

-Makes you little plane trinkets out of wood and stuff!! Pyro paints them :]

-Is so interested in infodumping about mechanical stuff with you- he’s glad he has somebody that just. GETS HIM yknow?

-If you need someplace to go chill away from the chaos that the mercs usually bring, the workshop’s your go-to. Late night convos are the best with this man

Demo:

-Roughhouses!!

-Treats you like one of the guys

-Respectfully ofc but. You’re getting noogies

-Will be offering you beer n stuff, he treats you like a really good friend

-Lives for your vibes

-He thinks you’re so badass!! Hell yeah!!!

Medic:

-Kay so. You probably had to go through lots of training right?? So!;

-Rivalry for first aid.

-Hear me out

-Everyone all of a sudden wants you to help make them feel better when they get small injuries because of the one time you mentionned you had to do a buttload of first-aid courses

-So. Lots of who can make it to the scene and get (injured person) back on their feet the quickest

-Does ask you if you’ve ever expirinenced or witnessed anything wild- such as big crashes, and how people dealt with the situations

-Loves your stories despite pretending to hate you- it’s just a friendly rivalry!

Sniper:

-He’s not one to really apprach you, but he does definetly admire you from a distance.

-He thinks you’re too cool for him :( 

-But eventually one day, you’ll ctach him stargazing- and you’d have the amazing idea of bringing him for a ride just the two of you so that you can see the stars

-.God maybe he just fell in love I MEAN WHAT????? ANYWAys

-He LOVES stargazing with you!!

-You get to tell eachother stories and it’s overall really calming- a nice from the hectic mercenary life

-He also happens to know a fair bit about constellations, so he’ll infodump unconsiously if you let him :) 

Spy:

-Spyyyy… dislikes your ideals, and has traditional values

-Not a fan of the way you hold yourself, but will eventually warm up a bit

-Im sorry,, I just don’t like Spy aheh anyways

-You probably end up showing off your skills- not of purpose though, just- you seen a natural at what you do, and that’s when he sees that maybe there’s a reason you’re such a big deal

(Bonus!) All:

-They all fight over who gets to sit in the passenger seat. Some are more civil about it, for example Engineer or Heavy- but they still want to sit in the front for their own reasons. You may have walked into the room only to find all the mercs fighting iver who’s calling shotgun for the next ride.

“I AM GOING TO PRESS ALL THE BUTTONS!”

“NO WAY CHUCKLEFUCK, I’M SITTIN’ NEXT TA THE HOT CHICK!”

“No. Heavy will sit next to pilot for protection. Is only fair.”

“Ya’ll- I have some things I’d like to see up close in the cockpit, I think I should be next.”

“Mmhhph!!!”

.

.

.

Sep.20.23

[viktorisstupid]

CROWLEY HEADCANONS (again all in good fun) (REALLY BUCKLE UP)

1) Fidgets with his fingers, like pulling on them/ twisting them.

2) masking autistic (Before you say "OH WELL HES A DEMON HE CANT BE AUTISTIC!!" Neil himself said all angels and demon were neurodivergent) he doesn't know and started masking after his fall.

3) secretly likes to read, and has favorite books that he's reread a thousand times, he'd never tell Aziraphale though.

4) used acid in the 60s and moved to weed in the 70s, now he only drinks with an occasional cigarette.

5) bites his nails, hates that he does it but can't stop

6) buys little gifts for Aziraphale, little things that remind him of zira, or something he pointed out once, Aziraphale loves them all.

(The next 2 might be triggering)

7) Self harms via cutting, he saw someone do it once and he ended up really relying on it.

8) was bulimic for a while, technically I know his corporation doesn't need food, and idk if he can gain weight, but I think it became more of a self punishment thing.

(Back to normal ones sorry for the angst!)

9) hates doctor who because he thinks* God intentionally made a human who looks just like him play a character up in the stars to spite him. (*doesn't actually think that but hates it how well it lines up nonetheless)

10) was personal friends with eve, and regrets that he had to tempt her to the first sin

11) alot of "catholic' guilt, after the ineffable divorce I think he started to pray again, even if kneeling in a church burnt his shins and the bottom of his feet.

12) genderfluid, but let's be honest this one's Canon

That's all for now SORRY I KNOW ITS CRINGE BUT I DONT CARE BITE ME

[rocketboots564]

Teen Wolf Season 1 (from a first time watcher)

Okay, I did this for another series (Red vs. Blue) and I DESPERATELY want to do it for this.

This is basically my thoughts/notes/critiques of Teen Wolf season 1 as someone watching it for the first time. Please enjoy and take it with a grain of salt:

I could tell this show EXUDED 2010’s energy when I witnessed with my very own eyes and ears a DUBSTEP WEREWOLF BATTLE

Guys, if you had told me there’d be dubstep werewolf battles I would’ve watched it YEARS ago… OPEN UP WITH THAT! (Note: I am not the biggest fan of dubstep, however watching Derek and Scott beat the hell out of each other while it blares is an experience I never knew I needed)

Its music is so nostalgically 2010’s it comes off as “so bad it’s good” in a way.

I love it even though I occasionally cringe

Don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion, but Scott McCall was kinda boring in this season.

NOW BEFORE YOU JUMP ME! Scott has insane highs and simmering lows, but the highs are mostly in the beginning of s1 and the last 4-5 episodes where he SHINES.

I mean it, he went from a B to an A-tier character those last few episodes

But, the other characters were just so much more… flavorful. Like Stiles?! I LOVED every second Stiles is on screen.

On the topic of Stiles… I will be talking about how much bisexual energy this show has. Because it’s A LOT. You guys were NOT kidding about that.

It’ll probably be a repost of this or its own thing.

Honestly, and you’re gonna hate me for this, but Scott and Derek kinda act like love interests in a smutty, poorly written YA novel–BUT! It’s a bit endearing.

But also tell me you can’t see it.

I mean like, Scott’s answer to suppressing his transformation ends up being “his love for Allison” like a good 60-70% of the time.

Time to talk about Lydia. I started off HATING Lydia for like the first 1.5 episodes. I hated her snarky, mean-girl, wannabe Regina George ass at first… at first…

But, I took a step back and thought to myself:

“The pipeline from Supernatural to this show is surprisingly close… which means one of many things: they’re gonna give her massive character development and make me not only feel bad for her, but make me love her so much she becomes a favorite of mine.”

Lo and behold… you’ll never guess who my second favorite character is?

Lydia… right under Stiles where she belongs. He’s just that good

Can we please PLEASE talk about how unprofessional the Teachers are in this school! LIKE WHAT THE HELL?!

First of all, there’s the coach, which sure, he cuts corners, and can be a very questionable motivator (please don’t reward your students with an A for doing something that has nothing to do with their educational prowess. Nor should you tease them thinking it’ll motivate them. Positive reinforcement works people.)

HOWEVER… the Chemistry teacher? OOOHHH IF THERES ANY BITCH I WANNA SMACK ITS HIS ASS

How are you gonna sit there, and actively berate and insult your students, and expect good things from them.

And then, on top of all of that, YOU HAVE TO AUDACITY, to withhold information that connects you to the Hale fire?! OOOOH PETER I’LL JUMP HIS ASS WITH YOU.

Adrian Harris, you are an unprofessional, ignorant, arrogant slob unfit to teach goddamn preschoolers. (Granted, I’m while watching season 2 right now… and my hate for him has only swelled)

Speaking of Peter, I don’t think he’s the real villain of this season. He definitely is a villain, and a main one at that. But the biggest bad here?

That title goes to the woman I wanna see get the electric chair: MOTHERFUCKING KATE ARGENT

I will make my own post on Kunt Argent, analyzing this VILE woman, and why Jill Wagner plays her PERFECTLY. (Seriously she made a villain that makes my blood boil. 10/10 acting and writing)

I’ll also probably talk about Allison and what I love about her in that too because it’s important.

[hologramcowboy]

The Winchesters so Far...

Warning Spoilers Ahead

It's set in 1972...or the 60s...or 1978 or 90s. Seems none of the departments could really come together and decide or, you know, do actual research so you get all of them. Boom. 💥

In the instances where the show does attempt to nail the era appropriate vibe,  the characters look like they are dressed in cheap versions of wannabe 70s Halloween costumes.👹

John returned from the army with a full set of hair, in fact he even had it while serving. 💆

Samuel Campbell, Mary’s father is missing. Such Plot twist. Much wow. In case you forget, you’ll be reminded of this in just about every scene of TW so much so you’ll begin to hate him with the intensity of a thousand suns and, oh well, there goes your interest in the unfolding plot.

In true shocker fashion, John has barely met Mary but vows to help her find her missing dad. Did I mention he was missing? Because Mary and John do, in every scene of every episode and so does the rest of the cast. He’s missing y’all and we gotta get him back.

You know those clichè token characters that make you cringe? That's basically all the supporting cast of TW.

Big surprise, all the characters have daddy issues, so much so there's a reference to them every 5 seconds. This is totally not in attempt to copy SPN's formula, of course. 🤣

The Gang has a Mystery Machine, y’all. Not sure who the Scooby of the situation is but my money’s on John.

So far, Carlos is a crooner that sings off key and basically has no voice.  😒 Alas he’s the assigned Bard, y'all. He’s also the tragicomic relief. More tragic than comic.

Mary is a road disaster waiting to happen, she keeps focusing on her passenger rather than the road.

Mary is also petite and childlike to the point of not even remotely being believable as a hunter. She looks like the adopted child of the TW Scooby Gang.

It seems Velma, I mean Latika has no personality outside of being the book carrier. Whatever happened to creating diverse characters?

Ada seems like she teleported in from a different show due to the fact that her performance actually has layers despite her character being yet another clichè. #wastedtalent

Salt apparently traps demons now oh and demons are unkillable or so say Mary and John. How this lore is featured takes everything that made it captivating in SPN and reverses the effect. It's basically parody time.

The lines and storylines are so predictable and repetitive you can figure out what the characters are going to say before they even say it. Boom. Psychic.

John is tall, John is also stiff and often uses his body on screen as if he was a marionette or a model unsure of how to move next. In other words, the green ( green actor=newbie) in John comes out so much it’s very hard to suspend disbelief especially for those with a trained eye.

John also expresses his personal issues with the aplomb of a frozen ameoba, making the stakes of each scene very low and disengaging.

No SPN rip off would be complete without trying to recreate the "Saving people, hunting things" moment, trust John y'all, he was born for this, the lady Gaga way.

No monster featured looks even remotely realistic, in fact, it's like they purposefully sat down and asked themselves "how can we make this look as fake and as ridiculous as possible?" Mission accomplished, folks. Mission accomplished. This is a comedy, after all.

The editing, ah the editing, was it handled by a 14 year old with no previous experience? Or did Danneel decide to do it herself? That's it, isn't it? 😞

Instead of building the character arcs for John and Mary and slowly build up the chemistry this show has them oogling longingly yet vapidly at one another almost every scene, at the same time, their connection seems empty and devoid of any actual depth, feelings, commonalities due to the weak choices the actors make and the subpar writing.

The supposed big thing that connects them is that both dads are missing and both dads are hunters (John's is dead, I think?). So they didn't even bother researching and building a deep connection and just went for the clichè similarity as the basis of their "love story". That’s because they were to busy ripping off the SPN Pilot to care about actual storytelling.

Speaking of love story, though it's the selling point of the show and its theme, you won't really find it in anything within the show. The Meh glances exchanged between the lead actors ultimately communicate nothing. Did they model this couple after the Ackles dynamic? Is that what this is? Cringe. 🤨

Campy doesn't even begin to describe this prequel. It will defy your definition.

Carlos is the show's main attraction and yet he is not the lead.  That should tell you everything you need to know about TW's "diversity" casting.

You will be more scared by the musical numbers within this series than by its monsters or storyline.

This show is so confused on its genre and direction it will make your head spin.

Unsurprisingly, most of the performances on the Winchesters make it seem like the Actors were directly directed by none other Danneel Harris, oh sorry, Ackles, I forgot she is nothing without that last name. 🤡

The only believable chemistry I’ve seen on this show was between John and Latika, for a few seconds, when he told her they could be scared together in the Pilot. Major Awww moment, although the writing, once again, clichè and predictable. Which, I guess, are the actual main themes of this show, let’s be real. lol

Canon we lost you, no, canon, we buried you!! This series has nothing to to with our beloved SPN and saying otherwise is an insult to its legacy.

This whole series centers around a psychic bug empress lady and her insect like minions set on devouring the world. Yes, really.

If I missed anything it’s probably because my brains are fried from attempting to give this trainwreck a chance. Feel free to add to my list.

Verdict: The Winchesters is nothing more than a futile attempt to recreate key moments from the SPN Pilot in the hopes the audience would bite. No work or research went into this. They picked up the missing dad+ saving people hunting things spiel and tried to recreate it and did it so horribly I can’t even put it into words which is why I decided to try and make a light hearted post about it. They also copied every plot structure that worked but ended up parodying it to extremes without meaning to. The Winchesters is only sellable as an SPN parody and, even then, an extremely bad one.

For those who want to support my traumatized brain after watching TW, feel free to send me your favorite Jensen/Jared gifs or artwork to feed my art starved soul. Feed me. 💕

EDIT: Clarified one of the points.

[terrence-silver]

What do you think Terry's idea of "rock bottom" is? Like we know Dynatox was doing some shady deals, and Terry was paying people off to cover his tracks all willy nilly. But do we think he actually lost all of his money? Or was his version of rock bottom moving out of the Ennis house to a more "humble" appearing mansion?

---

I think his definition of rock bottom is the World changing.

The dissonance of values.

The depression that came with.

Now, stay with me on this one. Could be fakedeep, but I truly believe this:

No, I don't think Terry Silver was ever here struggling to pay bills, buy groceries on a discount and make rent like an average Joe Schmoe; that's not the type of struggle he meant, I feel. Don't figure this is something that ever happened to him. It's just not that realistic. 🤷‍♀️

Terry Silver's 'rock bottom' is more of the deeply existential sort.

A sort of dread you can't shake off or control. The same way many people miss the 2010's. Or the 90's. Or the 70's. Or whatever period in their life was meaningful, important or deeply impactful. This sense that time is ever changing and it cannot be stopped or contained; that maybe the best days of your life are already behind you and they're never coming back. The melancholy and fear that comes with it; this is, actually, a re-occurring theme for several characters in the show (Johnny Lawrence, anyone?) And we all know that if Terry loathes one thing it is not having control over things. Passage of time being chief among them. In his own words vaguely paraphrased; you can buy back everything but your youth...or something like that, don't quote me.

That's what Terry was plagued with when he told John he 'hit rock bottom'.

Sure, he lost an unimaginable sum of money due to various fiscal crashes and had, effectively, for a while, less zeroes attached to his already immense networth which he for sure could've considered a state of decline compared to what he used to have, living quite literally overlooking all of Los Angeles like a sort of self-proclaimed Emperor, but the fact that the morals and the ethics of 1970-80's America which birthed The Terry We Know became so very different at the turn of the millennia that he might've felt that the economic boom and the very values that underlined a prime in his life were now over and that he, along with them, would either change, shed skins, or be over as well was what led Terry to sense that he had to begin again, from rock bottom, reinventing himself.

It was an end of an era.

First thing he had to do, is change mansions.

He couldn't just live in an unsustainable concrete brutalist castle anymore without people rightfully considering him bad for it...or telling him he should house some homeless people in there since he clearly has ample space. He needed to make a shift to something acceptable. Something digestible. He needed to box himself in.

No, he couldn't just slam coke, be driven around in a Rolls Royce, drop around racial slurs, make a living off of literally polluting places, lounging naked in front of his elderly secretary in a hot tub without facing some serious allegations later and coming dangerously close to what would be considered grooming today either. Those days were over. The days in which Cobra Kai as an upper crust extracurricular boy's club was considered aspirational and cool leading to a post-millennial pipeline where most people would consider it a militant cult was the new norm. The days in which you could send your friend to an all-expense paid trip to Tahiti to be entertained by two masseuses without both you and your friend being promptly branded sex tourists were gone too.

Martial arts were at their height in the 60's-80's, but by the time we're reintroduced to Terry at his garden party, it's a relic of the past people laugh and cringe at at best and bring up as a quirky joke. Hey, even his ponytail would just promptly be laughed at because men's fashion changed too; what was badass then ain't so badass now.

Everything changed.

It's like everything that made Terry Terry was just...finished. Passe.

In a sense, Daniel Larusso's lines proved to be prophetic:

Terry Silver wasn't even a memory anymore.

Yuppie culture was dead and Terry Silver was so intrinsically tied to this culture that I do believe he suffered what we would consider a mental breakdown due to it, the same way I believe he was facing so many lawsuits, indictments, scandals and legal issues thanks to his accumulated less-than-stellar behaviors and dealings in the past few decades that he would either 'clean up' his act or suffer the consequences. Become one of those creepy Billionaires shunned from society entirely. It would be social suicide. And I do believe Terry Silver had many, many, many skeletons in his closet. So many in fact, that him going to therapy, letting go of narcotics, quitting smoking, presenting himself as mellow, not really talking about his time in Vietnam (whereas, in the 80's, he's out there, openly saluting John at an airport) and ultimately surrounding himself by a veneer of Liberal upper class 'acceptable rich diverse people' was legitimately needed to hide himself. Even the way he dressed was different; he appeared less like a Bond villain and more like an elegant, approachable old man on a sea-side porch, hair in his loose curls.

Presentation; it matters.

The man who knew how to dress up as 'poor' and even instructed his stylists to deliberately ruffle the collars of his 'working class attire' when tricking Daniel would understand this like an intricate science. Really, just think of celebrities in real life who were awful in the past and who tried to polish up their image with the advent of social media and the internet. Yeah. Just like that. That's exactly what happened to Terry Silver.

He was bad and he loved it, but he couldn't be bad anymore.

Everything that brought him joy was gone, a cancellable offense (for good reason too) something that would ruin his life and have him viewed in an unfavorable light and everything that was considered positive nowadays were things that didn't make him happy in the least bit. Not at all. He wasn't happy eating vegan screws in a vegetative, fake existence. He wasn't happy pretending therapy worked. He wasn't happy letting go of all the markers of insurmountable wealth to seem relatable; he earned that shit. He deserved to flaunt it! He wasn't happy discarding his vices. He wasn't happy dressing like a retired grandpa wearing khakis sadly counting lettuce leaves in his plate and in equal measure counting the days until he died as the last vestige of the 80's. He wasn't happy not mentioning Vietnam. Martial Arts. Cobra Kai. Not when that's his life. It is who he was. For better, or for worse. His rock bottom, was such, feeling he had to become a blank slate and start over in a great many ways; returning to everything he was was him recapturing the old glory days and having one last go at everything that ever sparked him joy. Better to burn out than fade away and all that jazz.

[harapeveco]

miss harapeveco since we are in the topic of anime pls drop some recommendations I don’t have anything to watch 

Omg oks so I have a very shitty taste in anime so this will be a very disappointing list but the ones I mostly recommend are:

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun: literally every scene is funny and iconic, it also invented m/f yaoi don’t ask it makes sense

Owari no Seraph: I mean this very unironically this anime fucking sucks but in a good way like nothing is ever explained, nothing makes sense and they gaslight you into believing the main boys are gonna be endgame by showing you a homoerotic scene of blood drinking. Just roll with it and don’t ask questions it’s better that way

The Persona 3 movies and the Persona 4/5 anime: the movies are really good they did a good job condensing +80 hours of gameplay in 4 movies (except the third movie but we don’t talk about that). Now when it comes to the persona 4 anime you can tell they didn’t give a shit that thing is just 24 episodes full of jokes and comedy the game wishes it had holy shit it’s really funny for no reason. The persona 5 anime is more complex in the sense that it’s very unwatchable if you go to it expecting something good. It’s bad it’s very bad it’s poorly animated and rushed and it’s just borderline unwatchable but it is really funny if you wanna have a good laugh about how bad something is I recommend it

Osomatsu-san: the first episode of the first season being yeeted into oblivion bc it was very much illegal to show all of it makes it worth it. Keep in mind this is an adult show (even if it doesn’t look like it) so there’s a lot of crude humor and sex jokes but all the characters are such trashy people I like to see them suffer 

Kiss him not me: if you are a shipper this one is for you. Basically the MC is a yaoi obsessed fan girl who wants to see her classmates date each other yaoinly but they want to date her instead 

ID Invaded: really good anime with a really good mystery and plot! Main character did everything wrong but I still love him also Sou did the opening for it 

Happy sugar life: very fucked up horror about a high schooler in love with a literal child but it doesn’t go like you think it goes, they don’t portray it as romantic or cute they very much portray it as the fucked up thing it is and how wrong it is. It’s good if you like feeling unsettled and like to watch things go from 0 to 100 real fast

The promised neverland: amazing series with an amazing mystery and atmosphere! It’s a shame it only has one season tho I hope they make a second season of it in the future but it’s a shame it only has one

Dr stone: it has science, it’s horny, you have over the top characters, what more do you want

Natsume book of friends: you love to cry? You wanna cry after watching every single episode? Ofc you do! This shit will hit you in the gut so hard you will never recover. A beautiful story about acceptance, platonic love, found family and yokai with the best and most realistic character development I’ve ever seen 

Gegege no Kitaro: this one is very broad bc no kidding this anime gets a new adaptation every decade. There’s a 60s version, a 70s version, an 80s version, a 90s version, a 2007 version, a 2008 version that is more adult and follows the manga and a 2018 version too if you like recent stuff more. Most of these are lost media tho good luck trying to find any version that is not the 2018 one. I forgot about the plot of it yeh uhhh basically a kid ghost is a medium between humans and yokai but he mostly play favorites with the yokai and sometimes fucks the humans over so idk if he’s really a medium, he’s very biased about it

The dangers in my heart: I talked about this one before but I’m talking about it again idc. Really cute and wholesome the MC is kinda horny but he’s like 14 boys at that age are pretty horny we have to stop pretending they aren’t. The first 3 episodes are so cringe they are very painful to watch but if you can go through them you will witness what I think it’s the cutest romance after horimiya. I don’t usually read manga bc I have the attention span of a rock but even I did a binge read of it bc it was just so good

King’s game: edgier than shadow the hedgehog 2006, it’s painfully bad like I can’t even begin to explain how horrible this anime is but good lord it made me laugh all the way through 

Chuubyo gekihatsu boy: one of the main characters is a catboy called Rei Tsukumo and another character is a cringe Utaite what more can I say? It’s just dumb cringe kids being dumb as fuck for 12 episodes and you know what? It’s very good at it

Horimiya: just watch it for the love of god just watch it

Sasaki to Miyano: you have miyano who is like “I wonder if I’m gay??? I’m not sure???” While he reads gay manga and straight up imagines himself kissing his guy friend in the mouth like bestie COME ON

Thats all the anime I can think of the top of my head, well adding anime classics like fullmetal alchemist brotherhood, haikyuu, my hero academia (I only follow it bc the Todoroki family drama is the only thing well written in it), dragon ball (not dragon ball z bc as much as I like it I prefer dragon ball and the cutesy adventure aesthetic it has) and ofc how to forget sonic x 

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 03x14

Long Distance Call

🎶they’re going to talk to the other side🎶 “that’s my guess anyway”

“That little shaky face thing Jensen did during the demon scene was perfect horror”

🎶drugs and alcohol yeahhyeahh🎶

“Drinking like that at night gives me a headache”

It’s true. Spouse can’t handle his liquor anymore

“Sha33? That sounds like an encryption thing but it’s not”

“oh yeah. Isn’t the person dead but begging the people to kill themselves?”

“Can’t remember what Sha33 stands for. I think I remember this one though? So I can pick up nuance details like the drapes, which are very drape colored”

“Well you didn’t break it hard enough dude”

“like squishing a grape but maybe more like hitting the grape with a tennis racket”

“he’s literally talking with his mouth full”

Pointed out that Dean hasn’t worn John’s jacket for a while

“Even Jensen can make eating with his mouth full look sexy. It just takes my breath away. You know how it is”

“Linda Bateman or Linda Babeman?”


“So when a trucker uses a piss jug, and if they die randomly, and they’re super angry, are they still floating around as spirits too? Are they tied to their piss jug? Am I tied to my piss? If I die angry, will I come back, too? Do all I have to do is piss in a bottle and make it so that if I die, I get to haunt you? Or do I need to add fingernails and stuff, too?”

What in the actual fuck

“Is the guy actually going to run the number?”

Why would you want to jerk off at work? Ew.

‘Idk why they put that in there”

“I feel like if thats going to make it worse to tell the kid that she isn’t crazy, because she’s going to believe her mom now”

“I don’t remember that part”

“If it really is dad, you got a man on the inside and figure out how to get out of your hell deal”

“very 70s divider. Oh maybe 60s. Idk”

“I know they made that cringey on purpose, but it still cringed”

“They had Caller ID back then. I guess that’s the joke”

“oh shit. The demon is here or whatever the fuck”

“Fkn instant messenger, dude”

“Oh my goddddddddd”

“I’ve always as a kid thought it was funny that computers are so expensive and do all of this gene-folding calculations, but we just use them to talk to people.”

“Is Mom going to come out of the computer?”

“How many more until Castiel?”

“No evidence it can’t? That’s very positive way to think of things”

“That’s how these things work, though. Dean gets the call after Sam leaves so of course Dean is going to go somewhere; it’s what he does”

“911 emergency”

“what in the McDonald’s shit is this?”

“that’s the dramatization I’d expect - hundreds vs millions.”

“Simon be fkn dead yo”

“making holy water in a plastic jug”

“He didn’t stop? He would’ve stopped”

“Is it the gross telephone guy after all?”

“that was unfortunate, but that’s what you get for messing with the phone company dill weed”

“nice”

“is he deep-throating this bitch or what?”

“Isn’t there some other creature like the Darkness that eats souls too or something?”

“I want raspberries. All that jelly on the knife makes me want butter bread”

I wish I could convey how much I say “I’m not writing that down” during each episode

“Not much has changed in the last 15 years - we’re even more connected nowadays. It could be worse or better; depends on how you look at it”

“this is going to be a really awkward conversation for dean once he’s done fighting that guy”

“Oh hell yeah brother. Skewer that bitch”

“Splat”

“that’s not a very good answer dean”

“stupid fkn looks”

“Without the extra expressiveness, this show would have sucked so bad”

Jensen really brought Dean to life

“Douche”

“they made up with a beer. It’s fine”

[melodic-cherry]

I AM CRINGE BUT I AM FREE I AM DISCUSSING MY MUPPET OC 🔥🔥🔥

“Cherry”

Well, this is hard to explain BUT. After watching the Muppets mayhem I really wanted to give Dr. teeth a rockstar girlfriend!! I love Dr. teeth and Penny and I understand that that is Canon but you’re allowed to make OC x Canon okay <//3 MAKE UR OWN CANON DAMN IT.  Anyways, I don’t have a lot about Cherry written per say…I do have a backstory though.. her name is definitely a play on the hit song “Cherry bomb” her whole thing is supposed to be kind of think of the color red. It’s passionate, fiery, in your face, loud…yk?? Red character vibe moment. I know that she has her own band called wild cherry, (which I have the band members for in my own little story. 🙏🙏🙏 ) I’m not too sure how I’m going to have these two meet in the story, but I do know that Penny is going to be somebody in cherrys life who’s already established. This is probably a really cringe worthy story, but I enjoy it and it makes me happy.

Annoying backstory in a nut shell ( even tho this is long + my perspective on teeth’s relationships with others ) :

Cherry is meant to be the daughter of a lead singer from a band ( which I have to make up ) who had their rise in the 70s - 90s. As she grows up, because of her father being in an out due to his career. She kind of had a very interesting upbringing let’s put it that way. Anyways her dad made a label contract with Penny back in the day for his albums. So, when she was little, he would drop her off at Penny’s office and just have her sit in there and that’s how she has a strong connection with Penny. They stayed in touch throughout the years feeling very close. But why did I want to make penny involved? Honestly, I think it makes a little bit of drama, but also maybe some tender moments between cherry, penny, and teeth? Cherrys somewhere between 22-25 ish. I know that somewhere in the story theyre ( Cherrys band ) is going to be the opening for the mayhems tour that they’re about to go on with Nora. I don’t think I’m ever going to make the story public due to just embarrassment around the story maybe?? I know a lot of people don’t like Canon x Oc work but…anyway. Why I want a rockstar kind of sad ( ish ) girlfriend for teeth is because I think it kind of counters, his personality in a weird way?? I really like Penny and him but I feel like she represents some characteristics that his mother had. Not to say that teeth and his parents relationship is completely off the deep end but it’s definitely not healthy…. Why I say that Penny reminds me of his mom well.. if anyone recalls during episode six and seven, she tends to have a very “it’s my way” personality. Which yes he likes !! But I really want him to have somebody who is a little bit more go with the flow like he is but also offers a different perspective on life. Obviously there’s going to be a difference between she grew up in the 2000s he grew up in whenever the fuck he did..guessing 60s - 70s?? Point is, I wanted to make a character that reminds me of him, and can bring out more of the nerdier parts of his personality from when he was younger, while also wanting him to grow and find who he is, even when he is a grown man. Now I also know that age gap relationships can be shifty for some people, I don’t really think this is an inappropriate age gap as she is into her 20s it’s a consensual thing. I don’t even know why I brought that up. It’s not really important to the story, considering that they’re both well into adulthood but still.. ( 20s+ ) ANYHOW. I’m just gonna cut it here, but that is my OC. For now XD

[nickgerlich]

Buy U A What?

I have long been a proponent of nostalgia as a marketing tool. It is one of the most powerful of human emotions, and typically intensifies as the person ages. After all, they’ve got (I mean, I’ve got) a lot of mileage on this vehicle, and the rear view stretches farther than what I’m seeing through the windshield. As we age, these nostalgic yearnings are opportunities to relive—and retell—the story of our life.

By definition, nostalgia is “a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.” There are variations on this, such as “hireath,” which is the desire to return to a place and time we previously experienced, and “anemoia,” pertaining to a desire to go back to a time and place we never experienced. That would be like me saying I would love to time-travel to the 1950s in Southern California, to see LA before it became a traffic-snarled, crime-ridden mess.

As we discussed not long ago, the Rolling Stones licensed “Start Me Up” to Keurig for their Father’s Day new product stunt, but as it turns out that was the third time this year they have partnered with advertisers. Back in March, they lent the same song to Applebees, and “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” to promote new episodes of Ted Lasso. Not that the Stones need the money, mind you.

But sampling is one thing. There’s another trend afoot with old tunes, and that is remixing. Numerous advertisers have jumped on this bandwagon, often twisting and rewriting song lyrics to support the brand specifically. For example, Wendy’s leveraged T-Pain’s “Buy U A Drank” to become “Buy U A Frosty.”

Go ahead and cringe. I did.

Interestingly, and more proof that I am even older than I thought, is that the latest efforts are to infuse nostalgic thoughts among Millennials and Gen-Zers, using songs they likely remember from their youth. Sheesh, I was already 48 when the original was released.

Some might worry that there are so many marketers doing this now that they are at risk of trivializing their advertising efforts, and, in some cases, making people cringe like I did. And then there are the critics alleging that artists are selling out. To those buttercups, I say “Suck it up. Don’t you wish you had a hit song to milk?”

As in all advertising, though, it’s all about engagement, and the more you can make a brand relevant to your target, and also hit on some great pop culture touchstones along the way, the more likely you are to make sales. If young people can connect T-Pain with going to Wendy’s, then the Wendy’s folks just struck gold. You get the idea.

There’s risk not just to the marketer, though, because the artist stands to win or lose as well. If the connection is too much of a stretch either lyrically, musically, or even personally, then the artist’s luster could tarnish too. This explains why Rage Against The Machine will probably never have an advertising partnership, with the possible exception of the NRA riffing on “They rally 'round the family with a pocket full of shells.” Never mind that if RATM did that, it would be a sell-out of the highest order.

You get the idea there, too.

The fact that Gen-Zers and Millennials are feeling those nostalgic pangs is mere testimony that time is flying by, but nostalgia never really changes. It’s just the object of that nostalgia, and in some cases, there’s that anemoia-like wish to experience the era of their parents and grandparents, just as I wish to see the 1950s.

Of course, I could tell my kids all about the 60s and 70s, but maybe we’re all better off letting the marketers spin this story in their own way, because it is all happy talk in the end. No Viet Nam War, no Iranian hostage crisis, no drugs, no protests, no Three Mile Island, no cult suicides.

Play that funky music, yo, and let’s put smiles on faces. We have stuff to sell.

Dr “I’ve Got The Music In Me” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[hey-yes-hi-hello]

Hi! I’m just a little Panic! fan who’s listening to the new album and wants to share my little opinions even though no one cares 🥰 Let’s go!

Viva Las Vengeance

Okay this was the first song released and I played it about 30 times in the first 24 hours. I unironically fell in love with it- I loved the beat, the instrumentals, and though the lyrics were nonsense (like all others) I could understand them and enjoyed singing them.

Middle Of A Breakup

This song was… kinda bad ngl. I really wanted to like it but the lyrics were kinda trash (except for a few lines). The “oh shit you’re kissing my neck” part makes me physically cringe EVERY time because what even is this??? Needed a filler real bad 💀 It’s still a bop but I’m probs gonna say that about most of this album because I’m a sucker and don’t like disliking stuff. Doesn’t stop it from getting stuck in my head though-

Don’t Let The Light Go Out

I definitely liked this more than MOAB and Local God, though the verses felt a little rushed and still too high pitched, compared to the vibe the song was going after. And the way the chorus went all quiet and musicless and slow-paced threw me off a bit but oh well. I’d listen to it while driving in the rain.

Local God

It’s an okay song, but it lowkey annoys me LMAO. Maybe it’s just the way he says “local god” but I wanted to punch him in the face fr. I didn’t catch most of the lyrics but I think I just wasn’t paying attention- but I got the general vibe and it’s not awful.

Star Spangled Banger

BRENDON BESTIE WHAT IS THIS. THE CHORUS IS SO RANDOM AND UNINTELLIGIBLE AND WE CAN BARELY HEAR YOU. AND WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO RAP THE VERSES LMAOOO. AND THE SLOW “HOME OF THE FREAKS” AT THE END OF EACH VERSE IS NOT IT.

God Killed Rock and Roll

Okay I can see why people are saying it’s a Bohemian Rhapsody rip-off- he didn’t even try to hide it 💀 Even this “slow-ish” song feels rushed and- wait why is it making clicky sounds- WHAT IS THIS SOUND LOL. If this man sings another high-note I swear- You’re tryna do that gritty thing but it’s not working 💀 Want a throat lozenge?

Say It Louder

First two lines really calling yourself out huh- THE SELF-MADE ECHO MADE ME CRY LMAO. Brendon the music covers up ur voice so much what are you even saying SAY IT LOUDER. This is such a mess I’m shaking and crying rn. The chorus has an good beat (rhythm? Idk I like how it sounds) but the lyrics- hm. This slow part does not go at ALL what was he trying to to LMAO. I like the little piano (I think) in the background tho that’s cool.

Sugar Soaker

Okay I like this more than the others so far, I like the soft thing he’s doing with his voice. Ah okay glad to hear the chorus sounds entirely unique and original 😃 Idk what decade this is reminding me of but it’s something old methinks. 60’s/70’s? Bro I don’t know but it’s got a vibe- not the chorus though the chorus sucks. WTF IS THE INTERLUDE LMFAO SOUNDS LIKE A DUMPSTER FIRE. “HA HA HA HA 🥵” STFU LOL. Okay I can handle a few “come on”s but dude 💀

Something About Maggie

Let him GOOOO- shh. WOAH straight into it with “makes me want to slit my wrists 🤪” bro read the room 💀 “People say people say run awayyyy” the level of cringe is unreal- THE HIGH NOTES ARE SO RANDOM AND UNCOMFORTABLE LMFAO. My dude you have a wife leave Maggie alone-

Sad Clown

Okay I heard 10 seconds of this yesterday and I think I’m going to like it so let’s see🤞🏻 “LEAVE ME ALOOOONE” BROSKI SOUNDS LIKE UR SINGING “INTO THE UNKNOWN” AGAIN LMAOOO. Okay nvm literally the only line I like is “your majesty’s magnificent, my tragedy is imminent” it’s literally the only good-sounding line WHY WASN’T MORE OF IT LIKE THIS HUH :( Every time he screams “I’m crying” I expect him to break out Local God again LMAO. “Is this all there is?!” made me wanna neck ngl I cringed 💀 Again, this slow part is NOT IT.

All by Yourself

“You sweet little kitten” STOPSTOPSOTPSOTP- Again, too many words in verses, or trying to sing too fast. Take a breather my dude. And the chorus- it’s a clear rip-off of the original but it doesn’t fit with the song at ALL. I like what he’s trying to do with his voice but he’s failing lol. I want more soft/slow lyrics/songs :( “It’s you and me~” alright Kate Bush 💀 And AGAIN he’s trying to do the gritty thing but FAILING.

Do It To Death

I like the music at the beginning. Why do “give it a try” and “before we die” sound like they’re from Grease LMFAO. Okay this isn’t as bad as the others so far I’ll give it that- nvm where did the music go 💀 Bestie you’re AT the limit and had surpassed your stay- Nvm this just sounds like such a try hard song lmao I’m not a fan. Now it’s slow and dramatic and for WHAT. OMG NO HE DID NOT. NO YOU SHUT UP. I SEE WHAT YOU WERE TRYNA DO BUT IT JUST SOUNDED LIKE THE SONG CUT OUT AND ACCIDENTALLY STARTED PLAYING VIVA LAS VENGEANCE 💀

Overall:

Look, I went into this as a hardcore Panic! fan prepared to force myself to like these and defend them and bop along to them- but this was actual dogshit. As previously stated there were a few songs that I genuinely enjoyed and would listen to again but most of these were straight up PAINFUL. And they don’t sound like Panic! at ALL. And I know not every album has to/will sound the same and I don’t expect them to, but they all had a vibe, y’know? A Panic! vibe. Just enough uniqueness and boppiness and drama and angst for it to WORK. Pretty. Odd. and Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die both sound COMPLETELY different but they both sound distinctly like Panic! in ways I’m not smart enough to explain. This did not.

I’m a full on proper Panic! fan and this album was incredibly disappointing to me. I know I’m sounding really mean and negative here but I promise it’s just for the funny 😭 I don’t hate Brendon or anything. And if you enjoy the album then I support you 100%! It’s just not my cup of tea :) But I’m not giving up hope!

[jamie-tartts]

*୭✧˚₊ television & film ask game! ₊˚✧୭* 

1. What is your favourite television show from the 80′s? 2. Favourite television show from the early 2000′s? 3. Favourite television show from the 2010′s +? 4. Who is your favourite female television character of all time? 5. Who is your favourite male television character of all time? 6. Favourite television show of all time? 7. If you could watch one t.v. show for the rest of your life, what would it be? 8. Favourite television soundtrack? 9. Favourite guest-star appearance on a television show? 10. Least favourite character on your favourite television show? 11. Favourite character on your favourite television show? 12. Best cliff-hanger? 13. Saddest death scene? 14. What television show would you like to be a regular on? 15. What television show would you like to guest-star on? 16. A show that you hate to love? 17. A show that you love to hate? 18. Name an episode from a show that you will always remember? 19. Name an episode from a show that you wish didn’t happen? 20. Spin-offs: yes or no? 21. A show that you started watching but then stopped? What was the reason? 22. Name a show that means something to you, and why? 23. A show that you find relatable to your life? 24. A show that makes your cringe? 25. Favourite television villian? 26. A show that you will continue to re-watch over and over again? 27. Name a show that had the worst series finale, in your opinion? 28. What is your favourite movie from the 80′s? 29. Favourite movie from the 90′s? 30. Favourite movie from the early 2000′s? 31. Favourite movie from the 2010′s +? 32. Favourite movie villian? 33. Who is your favourite male movie character of all time? 34. Who is your favourite female movie character of all time? 35. What is your favourite movie of all time? 36. Favourite director? 37. Favourite series/saga/triology, etc.? 38. What’s your favourite universe? 39. Favourite comic-book movie? 40. What’s your favourite disney movie? 41. Favourite pixar movie? 42. What’s your favourite animated movie? 43. Best voice-casting, in your opinion? 44. Is there a movie that you could watch over and over again and not get tired? 45. Name a movie that made you cry uncontrollably? 46. A movie that had you laughing throughout it’s entirety? 47. A preview/trailer of a movie you saw and thought “I HAVE to see that!”? 48. Rom-com’s or drama? 49. Thriller’s or comedies? 50. Horror or psychological? 51. Your favourite book adaptation turned movie? 52. Your favourite actor? 53. Favourite actress? 54. In your opinion, a well deserved Oscar win? 55. Favourite Oscar speech? 56. Most memorable movie ending? 57. A movie death that shocked you? 58. A movie you thought was going to be good, but wasn’t? 59. Biggest Oscar upset, in your opinion? 60. A movie you hated but everyone else loves? 61. Do you cry during movies?  62. Do you prefer classic movies, or new movies? 63. In your opinion, the best character casting? 64. Think of a movie you really love, how many times have you seen it? 65. Do you like to re-watch movies you’ve seen before? 66. Have you ever been to a midnight screening of a movie? 67. Ever attended a movie premiere? 68. An actor you love that nails it in both television & film? 69. An actress you love that nails it in both television & film? 70. Why is your favourite movie, your favourite movie? 71. Movies based on real life/facts or made-up stories? 72. Your favourite movie genre? 73. A movie that made you feel proud? 74. A movie that scared you/made you paranoid? 75. An Indoor movie theatre or outside drive-in? 76. Are you a snacker/drinker during movies? 77. Where abouts in a theatre do you prefer to sit (front, middle, back)? 78. If you could have a role in any movie ever made, which movie would it be? 79. An underrated movie, in your opinion? 80. An overrated movie? 81. A movie you felt attached to after watching it? 82. A movie that was relatable to you and your life? 83. Name a movie that made you go “wow” after watching it? 84. Action-packed movies or lots of dialogue? 85. Fantasy movies to normal life movies? 86. Have you ever walked out of a theatre mid-movie? What was the movie? 87. Tell us about your worst movie experience? 88. Have you ever spoiled a movie for someone by accident? 89. Ever spoiled a movie for someone on purpose? 90. Tell us about a movie that made you feel all the feels? 91. Pick a movie, any movie. Now tell us your favourite scene? 92. What’s the perfect movie time/length?  93. Do you get bored easily during movies? 94. The worst acting you’ve ever seen in a movie? 95. Can you think of a movie where one scene had ruined the whole thing? 96. Are you a “tommy texter” during movies, or a “shhh-ing susan”? 97. Think of a positive movie experience you will never forget? 98. A movie or performance you thought deserved an Oscar nomination? 99. Best movie soundtrack? 100. A block-buster movie that deserved all of the hype & more?

[random-thought-depository]

Masonry heaters are a particularly efficient kind of pre-nineteenth-century heating technology. They’re basically a big block of masonry with convoluted pathways inside that smoke is forced to pass through before it escapes. This creates more complete combustion (IIRC) and makes the smoke transfer much of its energy to the masonry (ordinary fireplaces send most of the energy the fire generates up the chimney with the smoke). The big block of masonry then acts as an energy storage medium, storing the heat and gradually radiating it into the space it’s supposed to be heating over many hours. You can find articles talking up masonry heaters as an efficient and carbon-neutral “green” technology, e.g. this one, which is where I first learned about them. I guess they’re pretty much the technological pinnacle of the preindustrial “burn some wood or wood-derived charcoal, or if you can’t get wood burn some other dry solid biomass” paradigm of heating technology.

They seem to have become common in the eastern part of Europe (Germany, Russia, etc.) between 1500 and 1800, as a response to the European wood fuel crisis in that period caused by population growth and the Little Ice Age. Don’t seem to have caught on much in western Europe and the Americas though; western Europeans went with a different adaptation to diminishing wood fuel supplies: they started more intensively exploiting coal, and down that path lay escape from the energy constraints of the biosphere and modernity. Interesting to think of that as a fork in the road.

A type of masonry heater called a Russian stove seems to have been pretty much the centerpiece of the kind of houses Russian peasants usually lived in during the last centuries of pre-Soviet era (called izbas). Apparently, it often took up a non-trivial chunk of the floor space of the izba, which was usually basically a one-room cabin that would be shared by an extended family of, like, six or ten people. These were people so poor they used few if any nails in constructing their houses because iron nails were too expensive for them, but they were willing to invest in the construction of a masonry heater that literally weighed something like a ton and the services of a skilled mason to build it (I’ve found mentions of stove-setters being a highly respected profession); that’s suggestive of how helpful the technology must have been to them.

So I got to wondering how much fuel a Russian stove would actually use; for peasants that would be firewood that they’d have to gather. So I Googled how much wood you’d need to run a masonry heater:

According to this: four 20 pound (9.1 kg) loads of wood for 12 hours of heat. So to keep a home warm 24 hours, 160 pounds of wood. Appalling in this context! Imagine having to gather 160 pounds of wood every day! While also having to do the work of running a low-tech farm! And that’s supposed to be with this super-efficient pinnacle of wood-burning technology! How much worse would it have been with one of the open hearths that were the historically typical home heating technology?

Some other sites suggested less appalling but still rather cringe-inducing in this context amounts. This one: 70-100 pounds (32-44 kg) per day after some multiplication. This one: 60-100 pounds per day after some multiplication, depending on the size of the space to be heated.

I decided to try it from a different angle and look up estimates for per capita firewood consumption in the Middle Ages:

According to an estimate I found in the book Money, Markets and Trade in Late Medieval Europe, 8 kg per person per day in Sweden and Finland, 4 kg in warmer places like England and northern France, and that includes “industrial uses,” so it’s not just direct home/farm consumption. Wait a minute! 4-8 kg per day is way lower than 60-160 pounds per day! And this is including uses in metal-working etc. and with people mostly using less efficient heating systems! What’s going on?

One clue that jumped out at me was reading what it actually said in one of those sites: “Depending on the size of the model, a medium heater could heat 1500 to 1800 sq. ft. with a 30 pound load two times daily and a large heater can heat 2000 to 2500 sq. ft. using a 50 pound load one or two times daily.” I’m guessing Russian peasant izbas were usually a lot less than 1500 square feet! A 20 ft. X 20 ft. box would be 400 sq. ft., and that sounds more likely for what’s more-or-less a one-room cabin. In fact, I found a number for normal peasant izba square footage: 265 square feet! Assuming firewood consumption scales linearly with the area to be heated, if a 1500 sq. ft. modern house needs 60 pounds of wood a day to heat, then a 265 sq. ft. nineteenth century Russian peasant izba would need 10.6 pounds (4.8 kg) of wood per day. Now that’s more like it!

Also, even in our highly neolocal society, most houses have more than one resident. IIRC more-or-less nuclear family patterns are old in western Europe, but Russian peasants mostly lived in multi-generational extended family households. Offhand, that suggests a typical household might be more like 6 people (grandparents, parents, two children) or more (judging by Margaret Eager’s account, often much more; “I have counted as many as twenty-one little children all in one cabin, and have been told that there are often more”). Divide the 10.6 pound (4.8 kg) household wood consumption by six and you get a little less than two pounds per person per day. That’s more in line with the 4-8 kg per person per day if you include uses in metal-working, pottery firing, etc. and people mostly living in warmer climates but using less efficient heating systems figure.

Also, these numbers represent averages over the whole year, and even in Russia some days would be warm enough that heating wouldn’t be needed (which would leave cooking as the primary use of firewood).

And finally, I suspect modern people have higher standards for how warm and comfortable they expect the temperature of their homes to be. Modern masonry stoves must be made appealing to modern First World customers, who are used to being pampered by heating systems that aren’t constrained by the energy flows of the biosphere, and the wood consumption estimates for them in marketing websites likely reflect that. Nineteenth century Russian peasants likely would have liked to have homes with temperatures as warm and comfortable as modern First World homes, but, to paraphrase the Architect in the Matrix sequels, there would have been levels of survival they would have had to accept, because they had no better alternatives.

I guess gathering around two pounds of wood per day wouldn’t be so bad (or gathering around 10 pounds of wood per day but you get to take turns doing it with a few other people). But to be able to make do with that little, you’d need the pinnacle of woodfire-based heating technology and you’d need to live with six or ten other people in a one room cabin about 15 X 17 feet wide and long.

We’re very lucky to live in a society that isn’t constrained by the energy flows of the biosphere!

[rametarin]

The ink wasn’t even wet yet.

So LilNas did a silly and once again completely harmless performance thing involving him fucking Satan in a music video in the most hilarious, Wayanes Brothers-esque outfit for the job I have ever seen.

There really wasn’t time for anybody of value to be offended or really voice complaint about it in any numbers that really matter. The voices of outrage and the stranglehold they had on the religious right of today is paltry peanuts by comparison to the lockstep, marching and goosestepping of the mega evangelical churches of the late 70s and throughout the 80s.

It was just sorta taken for granted that The Wacky Westboro Baptist Types and any buffoon that still goes to church would get their knickers in a twist and start harumphing by the millions about LilNas’ objectively harmless exploit into having sex with a cartoonish low budget Satan.

And the music journos and others in entertainment cultures reacted about how I expected. Seguing into, “Oh look! It’s the Satanic Panicers! Because that was a thing, you know! And they’re still at it!”

So in come the articles about the very real history of the US’s Moral Majority and their big huffy puff pieces about, “degradation” and “degeneracy” and harumph and fi and foo and won’t someone think of the children and how the mean ole Christians wanted to gatekeep literature and media based on certain Christian moral undertones.

Which is true. Don’t get me wrong. It was a cringe and eyeroll worthy last hurrah of when, while defanged and declawed legally on a federal level and most civil and decent places on a state level, the Moral Majority still played to their pews and organized to try and become the defacto arbiters of what was acceptable vs. outrageous content not to expose the kiddies to. It was an exertion of their social and soft power in the hearts and minds of their flocks and believers to dictate the content a whole community could sell, advertise and make cultural without getting ostracized and possibly hurt by radicals.

However, by comparison, today is not back then. Doom and Mortal Kombat and hyper violent videogames and occult and Satanic imagery are old hat. Our daytime cartoon shows for children can casually play with themes of magic and infernalist powers that would’ve been cancelled or censored or banned in the 60s and 70s; and the 80s blew those standards to hell. There really ISN’T any real outrage about Lil Nas fucking Muppet Satan. You can surely find some among the usual mouthbreathers that will always be loud and represent a section of the US that these self-proclaimed, “progressives” hate to begin with, but other than that, the matter is settled. At this point, Satanic Panic isn’t really a thing on the radar in the mainstream. At best, you can point to some cloistered community of people that come together because they voluntarily believe that stupid shit and grumph about it on social media.

But that brings me to my ultimate point.

These people posting these masturbatory articles about the history of Satanic Panic and those wacky Christians (they never specify all the conservative or fuddy-duddy Jews in the Abrahamic tradition of faiths, for some reason) are sort of speaking about it in this wishy-washy way that tries to claim the mass hysteria is as real today as it ever was back then.

And it isn’t. It just simply isn’t.

All the old people between 50-100 in the 1970s-1980s are themselves 100 and dead, now. Their kids are in their mid-60s and, while conservative, nowhere near as intolerant statistically as the stodgy, “no mentioning witches in front of children, no magic or occult things” religious conservative values of their parents age.

The Satanic Panic, the microcosm of believers stirred into a frightened panic over non-Christianity competing with their ideology in the country, is all but dead. Secular civic government barely finds them a road block, and while corporate media might cowtow to them as a reliable paying consumer base for specific niche products, they don’t bow to them and self-censor like they used to.

Yet, you read the articles by these people trying to take this opportunity to tell the youth about how widespread and dogmatic and intolerant the Christian hegemony was in the US, and then they say, “they’re still like that today.”

They’re so desperate to get inside the youth’s heads to shape their teen rebellious phase over whom they think the entrenched powers are and how to defy them for shits and giggles, that they’re taking the image of North American Christianity out of the moth balls from how it used to be and trying to say, “it’s the same. Nothing has changed.”

Now, I’m not accusing Lil Nas of being in on a conspiracy. Lil Nas does shit to entertain and be silly. He’s done absolutely nothing wrong.

But whether or not he did it on purpose, the asymmetrical system of the usual suspects picked it up and ran with it. To, “stawt a convuhsayshun uwu” about what idiots and assholes Christians are in the US. Taking advantage of this... barely blip on the cultural radar that’s getting more press due to the nothingburger “controversy,” because they take for granted that it upsets some imaginary vitriolic majority.

So they have their own little in-group conversation about, “Oh how CONTROVERSIAL Lil Nas is!” and talk about really sticking it to those frumpy stumpy fuddy duddies, or whatever. And..

no. This isn’t fucking Madonna kissing Black Jesus. This isn’t Ozzy Osbourne tossing a chicken out into his audience or biting the head off of a bat.

This isn’t even the wholesale manufactured nontroversy that is the record industry making a great big scene out of poking white America with a stick that was Eminem’s phony baloney career.

This is just Hot Coffee except the people finding it controversial are giggling over just how much it must make, “those people” stew with fury and backpat themselves over the accomplishment of rustling The Power’s jimmies.

They’re trying oh so hard to stir up the hornets nest, to just milk whatever little performative bear rage and indignancy left in the Christian right to seem like they’re the status quo, that they’re the intolerant and outraged and impotent power structure and source of oppression and theocratic intolerance, a danger to our civic secularism and liberal society by sheer numbers and reach in power.

And...

There’s just nothing left of them to do that.

So even trying to act like Lil Nas is doing more than upsetting the Minions Meme Boomers on Facebook that really have next to no power anymore just comes off as out of touch, desperate and pathetic.

[meili-sheep]

[video starts]

[Caption: Breaking the world record for longest cheese pull from a grilled sandwich, Part 1]

[Yelan's caption: The only reason he's doing this without causing a public disturbance is that Diluc has a pizza oven in his backyard. We also decided to have a pizza day.]

Ayato: Greetings! Today, me, my friend, and my housekeeper are going to break the world record for the longest cheese pull. (with a dramatic flourish) Thoma, bring out the measuring tape!

Thoma: Yes, milord.

Ayato: (pouts) Thoma, you're supposed to call me Ayato for this video! How am I supposed to start bridging the gap with the common folk?

Diluc: (prepping the pizza to be put in the oven) By not calling our viewers the common folk?

Ayato: (protests) I- It's a habit I'm trying to break, okay?

[Yelan's caption: Code word being 'trying'.]

Shenhe: (in the background) When is lunch going to be ready? I'm hungry.

Diluc: (answers) As soon as Ayato either gives up or makes Thoma do it.

Shenhe: Wait, Ayato is making lunch? (walks on-camera) No offense, but I would like to not cringe while eating today.

Ayato: (scoffs) Rude.

Shenhe: You mean 'true'.

Yelan: (off-camera) Does my pizza have the chili-tomato sauce?

Diluc: (answers) Yep. Nuclear, just the way you like it.

[Yelan's caption: This is why he's my favorite.]

[video ends]

[Caption: Breaking the world record for longest cheese pull from a grilled sandwich, Part 2]

[Yelan's caption: The current record is 69 inches and they've been at it for about three hours now. I have never seen Ayato this determined since body-slamming that one guy over a Gundam figurine he wanted to buy Diluc for Christmas.]

Shenhe: (holding the measuring tape) When are you going to be done with this? I'm hungry.

Ayato: (starting another attempt) As soon as I beat the record . . .

Diluc: (readying the stool) Don't you think that 68.5 inches is close enough?

Ayato: (petulantly snaps) No! (inhales deeply, then exhales) I've gotten close and I'd rather die than stop now!

Yelan: (grumbling off-camera) We'll die of starvation sooner than that.

Ayato: (shushes them all) Okay, attempt number twenty-six! (begins to stretch the grilled cheese)

Thoma: (watching) Huh! This one might actually have a chance!

[Caption: The grilled cheese hits the yard mark of 36 inches.]

Ayato: Diluc, get the stool, quick!

Diluc: (already moving it to him)

Ayato: 42 . . . 48 . . .

Shenhe: (somewhat hopeful) Maybe he'll actually do it.

[Caption: The grilled cheese hits the critical mark of 60 inches.]

Ayato: (excitedly) We're getting closer! Shenhe, make sure you're holding it right!

Thoma: (holding the stool) Please, be careful about the stool. I don't want you to fall . . .

[Yelan's caption: Holy shit, they're actually at 69 inches now.]

Ayato: (gasps) Thoma, Diluc! It's past the world record mark! (chanting) 70 . . . 71 . . . 72-

[Caption: The grilled cheese finally snaps.]

Shenhe: (already writing it down) And the final tally is 72.5 inches. (takes the grilled cheese and eats it)

[Yelan's caption: The guys were too busy celebrating like they just put men on the moon for the first time to notice that Shenhe had eaten the other half. They really are that easy to please.]

[Caption: We all got our pizza at the end.]

[end of video]

----

Don't ask how Youtube fed this to me, but it had something to do with this.

Honestly, they do the stupidest shit when together. And I think people think Ayato is stupid rather than malicious about "common folk" So people find him funny over mean.

Of course, Shenhe and Diluc are just there for Kicks and giggles, while Yelan and Ayato just be gremlins.

If you get them in the right mood, though, all of them can be gremlins. Which of course is bad time central.

For everyone.

[voluptuarian]

It’s always so funny when guys complain that a female character is “wish fulfilment”, as if that’s the worst thing ever, or as if 90% of all male characters in Everything aren’t wish fulfilment (and really, they just mean woman-character-who-beats-man-at-anything. Because we all know that is completely impossible and has never happened in real life) but also women’s wish fulfilment characters are like the most harmless fantasies:

like, I’m no longer extremely young, but I am still vibrant and attractive, I may have settled down and had children, but it has not meant sacrificing my dreams or personhood, I am doing something with my life that excites me, I may even have fantastic adventures, while I’m doing that I’m also enjoying good sex with someone (or someones) who think I’m intelligent and interesting and sexy and value my opinions on things, and oh maybe I am also a little bit of a badass and get to wear cool shoes

meanwhile men’s wish fulfilment characters:

oh thank god my wife/children/nearest and dearest and most beloved people in my life have been kidnapped/violated/murdered and I am now free to throw off the civilizing shackles which have bound me these many decades, and-- since through some deus ex machina or other I inexplicably have crazy fighting skills-- I can now cause city-wide destruction and unrest and commit an orgy of violence on enemies who are better armed than me and drastically outnumber me, and even though I am 50/60/70/80 years old and extremely out of practice I will still have no trouble cold-bloodedly executing dozens of opponents who are all in their physical primes, so actually it is ok that my family and other women/children characters have suffered and died so this could happen because this is what I was actually meant for and they only made me soft, and even though I am calculatedly slaughtering people and enjoying it, I still retain my “good guy with a gun” status because of them; in the end I may die but only after I blow up the Big Baddie with like, a garbage truck or something, and then I’ll say some one-liner and lie back quietly while I await Valhalla, where my family will definitely not be and I can continue my violent ways forever after amen

like Oh My God forgive my fun little escapist flirtation with a more exciting life, it’s obviously Super Cringe, not like your cartoonish self-insert circle-jerk of death and violence, oh NO