#I can’t even do my fucking school work because my dog needs food made everyday and my mom said she would start it

[makkie-is-screaming]

I fucking can’t today

[watchmegetobsessed]

Tastes Like Strawberries - Harry Styles

a/n: oh this one is a long boi and might not be the end??? i’ve been working on this fic for days and i have an idea for a possible second part, but i wrote this one so it has a fulfilling ending so it can stand as a oneshot as well! i barely just started working on the sequel, we’ll se how it’ll turn out, maybe it goes to shit lmao but whatever, it’s still a nice and whole story without a second part! this is my V-day gift to you all, have this nice professor!harry fic as if it was a box of chocolate! 🍓 🍫 🍬

special thanks to @pastequeharry​ who put up with my constant rambling and whining while i was writing this, you are a hero, his is dedicated to you!!

pairing: professor!Harry x Reader

warning: sexual content, abusing relationship, it’s got smut, angst, lot’s of banter and all that jazz!

word count: 21.4k

masterlist

There’s just a handful of things to know about Professor Harry Styles and that’s because of one of those very few known facts, the first one being that he is a highly private person. He rarely talks about himself or any aspects of his life, he always makes sure to keep it as professional as possible whenever he is teaching.

Second, he is easily the smartest professor to ever walk on campus, but he doesn’t like to brag about it. You never catch him showing off how much he knows, how big of a genius he is, you’ll just start to realize from the way he teaches and approaches certain topics, how he interacts with others and tries to pass his knowledge down to his students. He is brilliant and he should have all the credits for it, yet he still chooses to keep it to himself.

Third, and it’s the most well-known fact because to see this you just need to have a pair of eyes, he is undeniably the most handsome man to ever teach or if you’re being more precise, walk the hallways of the university. No football crazy, alcoholic fratboy or dreamy looking indie guy from the library can live up to what Professor Harry Styles is. With a face clearly carved by the angels, a nicely built but not too muscular frame, and occasionally displayed tattooed arm that makes you wonder what other artworks his stylish outfits are hiding, there’s no man like him and every female on campus agrees with that.

His lectures and courses are jampacked with sighing and heart-eyed college girls, daydreaming about the man who is solemnly just trying to teach the things he is so passionate about. But it’s not just the students, Professor Styles has managed to charm the female professors of all faculties, you can see them wander by his office way too often, they take any opportunity to talk to the man and try to seduce him. It’s unknown if he is oblivious to the effect he has on women or he chooses to ignore every and any attempts, but this is what leads us to the fourth fact.

Despite all the effort and energy that’s been put into his case by every single woman on campus to break the walls the professor has built around himself, he never let any of his students or colleagues to even think they could be romantically linked for real. Professor Styles keeps his distance and turns down any offer that could be mistaken to anything that doesn’t fit in the professional boundaries.

Anytime a student puts on the slightest flirtatious act towards the professor, he either rejects it straight away or ignores it completely and blatantly, making it his clear answer that he is not interested and then he goes back to teaching. You’ve seen it yourself, having him as one of your professors first year of uni, you fell for him just like every other girl in the lecture hall, dreaming about him in ways you probably shouldn’t think of a teacher while he was just casually talking about his grading system and how he is going to build up the lectures throughout the semester. Some brave girls who you assume were highly celebrated by boys in high school took the courage to openly flirt with him, but he didn’t even flinch before shutting all attempts down, not even a blush appeared on his perfectly cut cheekbones.

You thought of ways you’d try to seduce him yourself, but you never actually tried. You never had the balls to actually give it a go and then suffer from the worst embarrassment of your life when he rejects you. So you kept it all to yourself, only entertaining yourself with your elaborate plans about the seduction of your professor.

Second year passed without any classes with Professor Styles, you had only occasionally seen him come and go, rushing down the hallways holding his notebooks to his chest, a steaming cup of coffee in his other hand as he was heading to his lecture hall that you just knew was filled with girls. You always took a moment to yourself to admire his outfit. He has a tendency to pair odd items and make them look like the most put together fit ever that only he can pull off. However, you and your girlfriends always loved to tease him between each other for his grandpa-like sweaters and vests he seemed to love dearly.

“He confuses me, because I want him to fuck me on his desk but also, I feel like he is about to ask me what periodt means because he is too old to understand slang these days,” your friend, Nat said once when your little group was lounging under the huge oak tree between classes and the professor rushed past you, disappearing in the building without paying any of you a look. He wore a pair of beige slacks and a striped sweater, a wrinkly grey shirt peeking from under it at the bottom. The colors and the style overall once again gave you that old people feeling, but then you looked at his handsome face and couldn’t care any less about whatever he was wearing.

The most intimate way you ever saw him was a few days after your twenty-first birthday the summer before your last year of uni started. You just got back from your hometown, the first person to arrive back to your shared flat with Nat and Eden, so you had a few days on your own. You decided to redecorate your room so you took a trip to IKEA, taking your time looking through the set up rooms, just wandering around as you try to figure out what you really want to buy. Walking through the living room section you spotted the professor and first, you didn’t even recognize him.

He was wearing a pair of bright yellow shorts and a short sleeved shirt with floral prints on it, a pair of white framed sunglass on top of his head, keeping his unruly strands out of his face as he was eyeing a couch, seemingly deep in his thoughts. You stopped in your tracks, seeing him in such a casual and everyday setting. For some reason, he seemed like a completely different person.

A woman was there with him and as you walked closer you could hear a fraction of their discussion.

“I don’t know, Gems. Do I need a couch this big?”

“Looks comfy and I like the color. It would also fit in the space just right, I think you should get the bigger one if you have the space for it,” the woman put her two cents in and you wondered who she could be. Girlfriend? Just a casual friend? Maybe fiancé? She did have a ring that could easily go as an engagement ring so you couldn’t tell for sure.

As you were about to walk past you suddenly took the courage to say hi.

“Hello, Professor Styles!” you greeted him with a warm smile and his eyes flickered over to you from the couch in question. One thing you always admired about him is that he never forgot the faces of his students and as he looked at you, you knew he recognized you even if he didn’t know your name specifically.

“Oh, hello,” he nodded in your way.

“I like the couch,” you commented before slowly moving on. “Have a nice rest of your summer!”

“You too, Y/N,” he called after you and it took you by surprise that he remembered your name. Your lecture he taught had almost over a hundred students in it and you weren’t the most active one to stand out that easily, yet he still remembered you more than you were expecting.

That small encounter kept you thinking about him for way longer than you probably should have, especially because you knew you’d have a lecture with him again in the upcoming semester. Your daydreams about him made their way back into your mind as you spent the last days of your summer mostly with your friends. It got you thinking that if you managed to get him to remember your name, maybe you would give one of your plans a go and shoot your shot. He wouldn’t be teaching you in your last semester so you wouldn’t have to face him after he rejects you.

And this is how you came up with your little scheme.

On your last Sunday evening before school starts, you, Nat and Eden sit in the floor of your living room, drinking some white wine as a way of saying goodbye to the carefree summer moments and getting back to the working days of being a senior at uni. Professor Styles came up completely randomly and you let it slip that you’ve just seen him recently at IKEA with a woman and it all led to you admitting that you’ll finally shoot your shot at the professor. Nat and Eden both did the same already, however their attempts were completely ignored and they always bugged you to give it a try yourself, being the only one in your group who hasn’t tried to seduce the professor yet.

“I’ll tell you, but you can’t tell me it’s stupid because I actually think it’ll be funny and a little bit genius,” you tell them before you start sharing the details on your plan.

“Just spill the beans already!” Eden pokes you before she reaches for the bottle and refills her glass.

“Okay, so you both know I took this psychology class last semester for extra credits, right?” The nod and you continue. “The teacher told us about this thing called classical conditioning or they call it pavlovian response too. The guy, Pavlov, did an experiment where he paired the feeding of dogs with a bell ring and after a certain amount of time the dogs started salivating at just the sound of the bell, because they remembered that it’s connected to food. The teacher said this is literally one of the easiest tricks to pull on people.”

“Oh, isn’t this one of the things Jim did on Dwight in The Office?” Nat asks furrowing her eyebrows.

“It is!” you nod, glad that they are understanding the base of your plan. “So, I’ve heard that Professor Styles loves strawberry flavored candies. I thought that I would bring some every day when I see him and offer him some. Slowly, he’ll pair the candy with the thought of me and he’ll get excited when he sees me because he’ll think I have candy for him and it will hopefully work the other way around and he’ll think of me when he is eating strawberry flavored candy that’s not from me.”

Your friends blink at you for a moment, processing what you just shared with them before Eden takes a huge sip of her drink.

“This is the most ridiculous but also the most genius thing I’ve ever heard,” she nods holding her glass up towards you.

“I can’t believe you will pull a psychological experiment on Professor Styles,” Nat shakes her head with a soft chuckle.

“It’s not a blunt way to get closer to him and if he accuses me of trying to flirt I can just say that I’ve been only sharing candy with him, I literally did nothing,” you point out, pretty proud of your solution to your deep fear of having to take his rejection publicly.

“If you get a Noble for this shit, make sure to thank us in your speech,” Eden laughs and you promise to do so when the big moment comes.

Monday morning you make a quick trip to Target and buy a big bag of strawberry flavored candies, probably enough to last for the whole semester, and then you make your way to campus. Following your first lecture you meet up with Eden who also signed up for Professor Styles’ lecture this semester, so the two of you make your way towards the lecture hall together.

“I really can’t believe you are doing this,” she chuckles when you get the candy ready as you near the room. The professor is always the first one in the lecture hall so you know you’ll find him there already.

“You can’t tell me it’s not a funny plan,” you smirk at her. And just as you walk in, you immediately spot the professor sitting at the desk at the front, going over the syllabus before the start. “Save a seat for me,” you tell Eden who just laughs and makes her way up the stairs along the desks.

Grabbing the pack of sweets from your bag you walk up to the professor, feeling confident with your plan. He lifts his head up when he notices your arrival and your eyes meet with his green ones.

“Hello, professor. Would you like some candy?” you simply ask with an innocent smile.

Professor Styles stares at you for a moment before his eyes move down to the candy in your hand, the opening of the bag facing him in a welcoming manner.

“I, uhh… what flavor?” he curiously asks and you can barely push down your smirk.

“Strawberry.”

“Oh. I’ll… take one, thank you,” he nods, hand reaching into the bag as he grabs just one single candy, unwrapping the package before he pops it into his mouth. “Thank you,” he nods again with a delightful smile.

“Of course. Did you buy the couch?” you ask, taking slow steps away from the desk as he keeps his eyes on you.

“I… did not. Bought another one,” he admits shortly and you know you’ve reached the limit. If you ask more, he’ll get suspicious, so you just nod smiling before walking up to the spot Eden has reserved for you. When you sit down, you catch the professor paying you one last glance before he returns to what he was previously doing.

“You are a genius, because now we can watch him suck on a fucking candy for the next few minutes,” Eden mumbles quietly, making you laugh.

“I knew this would be a good plan,” you sigh, satisfied with the work you’ve done. Now it’s just a matter of time.

Every Monday and Wednesday, you arrive with the same bag of candy to the lecture hall, walk up to Professor Styles and offer him one. And he always takes one. The first few times he seems hesitant when he spots you approaching him, but he slowly grows used to your tiny act of kindness that occurs every time you see him. On week three you expand the plan. You usually have lunch with Nat on Thursdays since you both have a break between one and two pm. The two of you try to take advantage of the warm early autumn days and sit under the pergola that’s near the building where Professor Styles’ office is as well. It’s mere coincidence, you only like that place because it’s close to the lecture hall you have to go to after lunch, but you notice that the professor emerges from Building C around one thirty, walking back to his office probably after one of his classes. The sidewalk runs directly next to the pergola so it gives you a chance to bring the candy out one more time every week. You nicely greet him when he is nearing the two of you and then hold out the bag, asking if he wants some. He always takes one and thanks you with a sweet smile that leaves you a tad bit blushed.

“I can’t fucking believe your plan is working,” Nat chuckles in disbelief on one occasion when the professor just disappeared in the building, probably happily unwrapping his candy of the day.

“It’s funny, innit?” you grin at her proudly.

Frankly, this is just a fun experiment for you. You don’t actually think that the professor will think of you differently even the slightest. You might be able to plant the thought of you in his head, but that doesn’t instantly mean that he’ll start fancying you and actually do something about it. It would be ridiculously naïve to think it’s going to be you who breaks through the wall that hundreds of women had already tried to knock down.

Week six is what brings the breakthrough. After long consideration and discussion with Nat and Eden, you decide to test if the experiment has been successful. You offer one last candy on Monday, but Wednesday brings the change. You go to lecture without candy. Well, you have it on you, but you decide not to ask him if he wants some.

Walking into the lecture hall, as always, he is already sitting at his desk, flipping through the pages of a book when you walk up to him with the intention of asking him a question on the paper that’s due next week.

“Professor Styles?” you softly speak up, catching his attention. “Can I have a question about the paper?”

“Of course,” he nods and you can’t tell just yet if he was expecting the candy or not.

“I was wondering if I can use a diagram to visualize my results at the end. I have a brilliant idea to summarize the data with one.”

“Sure, just make sure to give credit wherever it’s due, if you are using someone else’s work for the diagram.”

“Definitely,” you smile at him and wait a moment. That’s where you see the anticipation in his eyes.

His gaze flickers down to your hands and then to your bag where you always carry the candy and when his eyes meet yours again, you see him swallow hard.

He was expecting the candy. Not only expecting, but he started salivating when he saw you, thinking that he would get the candy from you as always.

“Is… that all?” he asks, the slightest hint of hope appearing in his tone, probably waiting for you to pull the bag of candy out of your bag and offer him one. But it’s not happening today.

“Yes, thank you very much,” you nod smiling widely before you turn around and walk away, a shocked and triumphant look appearing on your face once he can’t see it anymore and when Eden sees you, she gasps.

“He fucking expected the candy, didn’t he?!” she whispers at you in shock and you nod frantically, still not believing your plan worked.

“You should have seen the anticipation in his eyes, he really thought I was gonna offer him some!”

“Oh my God, this is hilarious!” Eden laughs covering her mouth as the lecture hall starts to fill up slowly.

Turning forward, you see that the professor is sitting behind his desk, the book that had his attention before your arrival is long forgotten in front of him, now he is staring ahead of him with slightly furrowed eyebrows, deep in his thoughts.

Is he thinking about you? Or why he was expecting candy from you?

You see him reach for his water bottle and he takes two big gulps probably to wash away his need for the candy before he narrows his eyes and at last they find you in the auditorium. You tilt your head to the side innocently smiling, as if you know absolutely nothing about anything. You keep eye-contact, forcing you not to be the one who breaks it and he is intimidating. You feel like he can read your mind as he stares at you and when he finally turns his gaze back at the book, you exhale sharply.

The lecture goes down just as usual and when the professor dismisses the class you decide to put the cherry to the top. Walking down between the desks you grab a candy from your bag and while the professor is talking to a girl who also had a question about the paper, you place the candy to his desk next to his book. He doesn’t see you walk out and you don’t see him when he finds it, but something is telling you he figured you out. No way a man as smart as him doesn’t realize what game you’ve been playing with him.

Sitting under the pergola on Thursday you are deep in discussion with Nat, helping her with a task sheet she has to turn in after lunch but she completely forgot about it. As the two of you are trying to do the seemingly endless sheet, you don’t even notice the professor walking from Building C, as always, but he spots you.

“No, I don’t think that’s even a thing, you can’t write that,” you tell Nat, but she shakes her head.

“I don’t care if it’s a thing, I just want to fill in the whole thing so the teacher doesn’t think I finished it in twenty minutes before class,” she mumbles, scribbling down her answer as you just chuckle at her.

Suddenly, you see a pair of dusty Vans appear in your sight and as your eyes move up, you are facing none other than Professor Styles, standing right in front of you, holding out his hand with his hand turned upwards, a cheeky smile tugging on his lips. His appearance takes you by surprise and for a moment you just dumbly stare down at his palm, then up at his eyes.

“Very smart. Pulling a pavlovian on me with my favorite candy,” he speaks up, dropping his hand as he cocks his head to the side. Nat looks up from her sheet with wide eyes as you stare at the professor with blushing cheeks.

“I have no idea what you are talking about, professor,” you tell him with a knowing smirk.

“Of course. You know, it took me a moment to realize yesterday, but I wanted to let you know that… I think it was clever.”

“If I knew anything about what you’re talking about… I would say thank you. But I stand up for my innocence.”

“Surely,” he chuckles softy. “Have a great rest of your week,” he then nods before turning around to walk away, but you quickly reach into your bag and grab a candy.

“Professor Styles!” you call out and he turns back just in time to catch the candy you throw in his way. He glances at it in his palm before his eyes snap up to you again, smirking at you shortly before he disappears in the building.

“Okay, call me stupid, but I could feel the sexual tension between the two of you,” Nat says as soon as the professor is out of sight.

“Don’t be silly, it was just… a joke and he liked it.”

“He called you clever, Y/N!”

“No, he called my trick clever.”

“But you came up with it so you’re clever too. Say whatever you want, but I actually think you have a shot at him.”

“I definitely don’t,” you laugh shaking your head and you genuinely believe it. Nat scoffs before she gets back to her sheet, but not without having one last thought about the situation.

“We’ll be laughing at how you brainwashed him into liking you when you’ll be dating for years, living together and all that shit.”

You’ve made some very questionable choices in your dating life prior. Like when you dated a boy in high school and let him take your virginity at the back of his mom’s minivan just to break up with your right after that, or when you briefly dated the guy you met at the mall, but it later turned out he was gay and he used you as his cover up in front of his family. But the worst decision of all was dating an egoistic forty years old loser who just freshly got divorced and went after you at some tacky bar you were at with your friends.

The time you spent dating Victor is way less than the time he has been bothering you, trying to make you go back to him when you’ve actually told him you don’t want anything to do with him anymore. You broke up with him just before you went home for the summer and he didn’t take it well, even drove up to your hometown and showed up at your parents’ house drunk, begging for you to take him back. He never stood a chance, not after that one time he slapped you across the face during a fight the two of you had. You tolerate a lot of things but not violence and you don’t believe him when he says it was just a onetime thing. There’s no guarantee he won’t hit you ever again and you are definitely not waiting around to see if he told you the truth.

On this particular late October evening you are searching through your whole room looking for a book you know you have, but can’t seem to find anywhere. It’s your holy bible about research methodology and you need it for your thesis work, but it seems like the small apartment has completely swallowed it.

“Didn’t you leave it at Victor’s? You were working on that long essay when you were dating him, saw you use the book all the time,” Eden tells you when you ask her if she’s seen it anywhere and then it clicks.

She is right, now you remember leaving the book at his once and you completely forgot to pick it up after things got nasty between the two of you.

“Damn it,” you growl in annoyance.

Not feeling like calling him, you send him a quick text, hoping he still has it and hasn’t burned it after one of your fights.

Y/N: Hey, I think I left my research methodology book at yours. You still have it?

Victor: I do.

Y/N: Cool, can I drop by to pick it up?

Victor: I’m leaving for work, you can come to the bar if you want it.

You sigh in defeat. Victor is a bartender at a place that’s all the way across town, takes almost an entire hour to get there, but you are left with no other choice.

Y/N: Okay, I’ll see you there.

The raining has finally stopped this morning so you feel better leaving the house than you would have if it was still pouring. You take the bus and travel across town, feeling anxious to see Victor again. Last time you met him he cursed you out and threw his phone at you, barely missing your head. You promised yourself you wouldn’t go near him again after that, but it seems like you can never get completely rid of him.

Students rarely come to this part of the town, it’s way too far from campus and has nothing to offer that can’t be found closer to the dormitories or the school’s buildings. It’s not entirely your scene either, the bars around here are liked by older generations, not by people your age, this is another reason why you don’t like coming around here.

The bar where Victor works is a place where they have different local bands perform every Friday and Saturday. It’s not a tacky nook with creepy dudes, they actually have prices on the higher end, not something you can necessarily afford with your part time job’s paycheck from the small accounting office near your apartment where you work as an assistant on your free afternoons.

Walking into the place you immediately spot Victor behind the bar and you take a deep breath before you walk up to him.

“Hey,” you call out for him, taking one of the stools along the bar.

“Hey. Long time no see.”

“Happens when you break up with someone,” you respond with a little spice and he frowns at your words. “Can you give me the book?”

“I’ll have a break in ten, can you wait for that or you have something extra urgent shit to do, as always?” You can tell he is still bitter from how things ended between the two of you, but you’ve learned not to care about it. His way of dealing with the breakup is not your responsibility, no matter how hard he is trying to prove it wrong.

You roll your eyes but nod, knowing well there’s no use to fight him. Ten minutes is not the end of the world. Busying yourself on your phone, you try to stay unnoticed and luckily, Victor can’t keep chatting with you, because customers keep coming up to him and ordering drinks. When he finally has his break he tells you to follow him to the back.

“So how have you been?” he asks as you walk down the hallway that leads to the small break room, there’s an office at the end and some kind of changing room you guess for the bands, along with a storage.

“Fine.”

“You really gonna be a bitter bitch and not talk to me?” he asks you, giving you a disgusted look, but you know it’s just the anger talking from him.

“Victor, I didn’t come here to talk, I just need my book!”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t answer my question.”

“I answered it! I’ve been fine, now give me the damn book!” you growl, losing your patience with him, but he is seemingly in the same shoes.

“When will you stop being a bitch and just drop this ridiculous act, Y/N? I’ve been after you for months yet you keep ignoring me!”

“Did it ever occur to you that I’m ignoring you because I don’t want anything to do with you? Victor, it’s been months, just… move the fuck on! Go cry to your ex-wife or something, I don’t care!”

You didn’t mean to snap, but he always brings the worst out of you. From the corner of your eyes you can see movement at the other end of the hallway where the changing room is, but you don’t get to pay much attention to it, because the next moment Victor grabs you by your arm and yanks you towards him.

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that! You ungrateful slut, I swear…”

There’s little you can do, he is twice as big as you are, his grip on your arm so strong there’s no doubt it will leave a mark. Your heart is racing as you try to pull yourself out of his hold, but he doesn’t even bat an eye at your attempt.

However, before he could drag you into the empty breakroom to do god knows what, he is stopped by a voice.

“Hey! Let her go!”

If you weren’t shocked enough at his violent reaction, now you are definitely think you’re going nuts, because it’s none other than Professor Styles who is now nearing you with a hard expression on his face, two other guys following right behind him and though none of them are bigger than Victor, he knows he can’t just start a fight with three men.

Your chest is heaving when the professor finally reaches you and Victor’s hold lets go of you, making you fall back a little.

“You perform here twice and think you’re some kind of rockstar?” Victor spats at the professor, but you’re a little lost in what’s really going on. Professor Styles gently grabs your wrist and pulls you behind him, eyes never leaving Victor’s burning gaze.

“You alright?” one of the other two men asks and you nod, not finding your voice to actually speak.

“Get the hell out of my sight before I call the police on you,” the professor answers in a calm yet threatening voice

Victor takes a second to himself, thinking about the choices he has before he turns around and disappears in the breakroom, slamming the door behind him, leaving you in complete shock about what just happened.

Professor Styles then turns around, his eyes soften at seeing how shaken you are and quite frankly, you feel like you are in a bad and quite weird dream.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” he asks, clearly worried about you and you just shake your head no.

“I-I’m fine, I think,” you mumble out of breath.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” the guy who asked if you’re alright suggests and you nod in agreement, following them kind of blindly, the three of them keeping you in their little circle as you walk out to the bar and they don’t stop until you are out of the place in the cold night air. You slowly come back to reality and process that Professor Styles just saved you out of fucking nowhere from your abusive asshole ex. That’s what you call a plot twist.

You finally take a moment to look at the other two guys, they both look the same age as the professor, or maybe a little older, both of them are rocking some facial hair, the one that asked you seems a little more open while the other one quite reserved but friendly looking.

“What… What were you doing back there?” you ask, turning to face the professor. He clearly seems upset, but you’re not sure if it’s entirely because of what happened with Victor back then or because you are standing outside some random bar on a Saturday night, definitely crossing his personal boundaries he keeps so high at school.

“We played here tonight, was just about to leave when I saw you.”

“You have a band?” you ask, shocked at the detail.

“A pretty good one,” the talkative guy chuckles. “I’m Adam, nice to meet you. This is Mitch.”

You shake hands with them introducing yourself as well.

“Y/N is… my student,” the professor adds as if he is clearing the air for his bandmates, a kind of warning for them.

From the direction of the parking lot two women emerge, laughing on something as they walk up to the four of you, both of them eyeing you curiously.

“Hey boys, who is this pretty girl?”

“Sarah, Charlotte, this is Y/N, she is my student. Y/N, these are my other band mates, Sarah and Charlotte,” the professor introduces you as you shake hands with them quickly.

“I-I’m sorry I interrupted your time with your friends, professor,” you shyly apologize, feeling like a complete intruder all of a sudden with all his bandmates around you.

“Interrupt? Sweetheart, that dude was about to do some unforgivable things to you, don’t apologize for needing help,” Adam snorts. “You’re lucky we were there.”

“What? What happened?” Sarah asks in confusion.

“Just… my asshole ex got a little too violent when I didn’t want to chit-chat with him,” you admit with a defeated sigh.

“Oh shit, but are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” you smile faintly, though you still can feel his grip on your upper arm. “I, um… I better get going, I guess. Thank you for… the saving,” you say, a little lost about what should be said in this situation.

“You’re leaving? We were just about to go to a much better place, why don’t you come with us, forget about your ex a little?” Charlotte offers and you catch the professor’s panicked look for a split second.

“I, um… I don’t think I should, but thank you.”

“Why shouldn’t you?” Sarah questions.

“Because I know how Professor Styles hates to mingle with students outside of lectures and I don’t want to cross any lines,” you truthfully admit. The professor furrows his eyebrows.

“I don’t hate mingling with students,” he states.

“Well, you are surely not the most reachable professor on campus,” you chuckle lightly. “But it’s fine, I understand it. So I’ll just head home.”

“Come on, Harry. Let her tag along for just one drink!” Sarah begs and seemingly everyone would be happy to have you join for a little. The professor’s eyes meet yours, as if he is contemplating whether he should say yes or let you go home. When he finally speaks up you’re more surprised than when you realized it was him saving you from Victor.

“I guess you could use a drink after what happened in there,” he says, the tiniest smirk showing on his lips as your eyes shoot up.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, come on,” he nods and your little group heads down the street.

Turns out the place they were heading to was just two corners down, so they left all their stuff at the minivan at the parking lot for the time being. You slide into an empty booth, Adam and Mitch go to get the first round, so it’s just the three of you girls and the professor.

“So you’re in one of Harry’s lectures?” Charlotte asks with a warm smile.

“Yeah, for the second time, actually. Had him in first year, now it’s my fifth semester and I had no doubt I have to take his class if I have the chance.” You pay a glance at him, but he is staring at his hands on his lap, you can’t tell if it’s because he is uncomfortable with you there or if it’s something else.

“It’s so funny, because we’ve heard that he is known to be a good teacher but we never actually heard it from one of his students,” Sarah chuckles. “What’s he like?”

“Sarah, you enjoy talking about me when I’m very much present?” he scoffs, giving her a look, but she just shrugs innocently.

“Come on, I bet even you’re curious about what your students think of you. Now is your time to find it out!”

“I think Professor Styles knows very well that he is one of the best, if not the actual best,” you truthfully say and see him raise his eyebrows a little.

“What makes him so good?” Charlotte questions.

You glance at him again, as a way of asking for permission if you can answer. You definitely don’t want to make him even more uncomfortable by talking about him when he is right next to you. He looks into your eyes, and his expression tells you that he wants to hear your answer as well, but he quickly adds:

“You don’t have to answer, Y/N.”

“It’s not a secret,” you admit it with a smile. “Professor Styles’ lectures always leave you with a question to think about until next week, he is great at getting into your head without you even noticing. He explains the most complicated things in so simple ways, it should be taught,” you say with a soft chuckle. “I think his enormous knowledge about many different fields in science and just life in general is amusing, anyone can learn something from him, it’s guaranteed.”

“Wow, where is this academic genius side of yours when you’re around us, or we only get to see the dad joke version of you?” Sarah teases him and you can’t push down a laugh, imagining him cracking dad jokes feels so alien but still kind of fitting for him.

“That’s what you get when you’re a nosy little thing,” he retorts with a small smirk. He then turns to you, and as Sarah and Charlotte are laughing on something, he lowly tells you: “You can call me Harry outside of school. Feels weird that you call me professor when my friends are around.”

“You sure?”

He nods and you spot a small smile on his lips. He must be getting used to the feel of you being there, but you still don’t want to push his limits too much.

“Can I ask you something?” he questions, leaning back in his seat.

“Of course.”

“If your ex is this aggressive, why were you there with him?”

His question is surprising, you didn’t think he would ask you something personal, but you guess it’s a valid question after he just saved you from Victor.

“I wanted to get a book back that I left at his place. Didn’t even get to the point where he could have given it back,” you mumble under your breath.

“What book?”

“Just this… research methodology book, wanted it back for my thesis work, but I guess I’ll have to buy a new one,” you huff bitterly.

“Is it the one written by William Scott?”

“Y-Yeah, it is. You know it?” you ask, but then realize it’s a bit of a dumb question. He probably knows every academically important book you will ever come across.

“I actually have it myself,” he nods. Just then, Mitch and Adam return with the drinks and you thank them for the beer, already reaching for your money to pay, but Adam shakes his head.

“It’s on me, don’t worry.”

You watch as Mitch sits beside Sarah, curling an arm around her shoulders and though you couldn’t have guessed that they are a couple, seeing them like this it actually makes sense, they look cute together.

You take a sip from your beer, trying to join the conversation Sarah and Charlotte are having, when your attention is pulled back by Harry.

“I can… lend you the book, if you want.”

“Oh, you don’t have to. I’ll just get a new one.”

“No, really. I think I even have two copies, I can give one to you.”

“I couldn’t ask you that, prof—I mean Harry.”

“You’re not asking,” he smiles at you softly. “I probably won’t need both, so why not put the extra into use?”

“Okay, but I’ll pay for it,” you insist, but Harry shakes his head.

“No need, one of them was a gift so I didn’t pay for it either.”

“Well… if you’re sure about it, I would love to have that extra copy, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“So Y/N, what do you study exactly?” Adam questions, pulling you out of your little discussion with Harry.

“I’m majoring in anthropology, but I’ve been taking some psychology classes on the side just because I’m interested in the topics.”

“And what is Harry teaching you?”

“Had him for intro Sociology lecture first year, now I’m in his Methodology of Cultural Anthropology class.”

“All these subjects with their GY endings, I don’t know how you two put up with science on this level,” Sarah huffs in amusement.

“The names sometimes sound fancier than the subject itself,” you tell her smiling.

“But I bet you need to be quite smart to study these stuff on this level you are at.”

“Oh, it’s just a bachelorette degree, I wouldn’t say I’m that smart,” you chuckle shyly.

“She is totally toning it down,” Harry speaks up, catching everyone’s attention. “I know students tend to take my into Sociology class for just some extra credits so I always give them two options for the semester. They can either write a two pages long review of any article related to the topics talked about at lecture and get their strong C with the bare minimum, or actually participate and do a research of their own and turn in an at least seven pages long essay about their chosen topic. Y/N turned in an eleven pages long paper on the history of death sentences in the U.S. in the last fifty years and how society is thinking about it nowadays. It was easily one of the best works I’ve ever read and it was just an intro class.”

“You remember my essay?” you ask in complete shock.

“Of course. As I said, one of the bests I’ve read,” he nods confidently.

“So you’re like… on Harry’s smart level, actually?” Sarah asks, tilting her head to the side and you can feel yourself blushing.

You’ve always been said to be the smart kid at school, but you never thought it to be true yourself. In your book, you were just doing your absolute best, soaking in whatever knowledge was thrown in your way. You never actually understood how someone could just not study for an exam or not do an assignment, because you always felt like it was your duty to do the best you can. You thought yourself to be more of a hard-working student rather than a smart one.

“She is definitely a bright one,” Harry agrees, his eyes meeting yours as a small smile appears on his lips and you think that this is the biggest compliment you’ve ever gotten. “She actually tricked me with a psychological experiment and I didn’t even realize it,” he laughs and you can’t hold your smirk back.

“What? What did you do?” Charlotte asks, dying to know how you played Harry.

“Have you heard of the Pavlovian response?” you ask looking around and you can tell it rings a bell for all of them.

“The one with the dogs and the bell?” Mitch asks and you nod.

“Wait you did that on Harry?” Adam laughs with wide eyes and you just nod with a sly smile.

“I just offered him strawberry flavored candies every time I saw him. Took me six weeks to build up the response but he actually started expecting it whenever he saw me,” you tell them chuckling to yourself.

“And I only realized it when she stopped with the candy and I felt this massive feeling that something was missing,” Harry adds shaking his head with a soft laugh.

“Okay, that’s hilarious,” Sarah snorts clapping her hands together. “Y/N, I adore you, you’re brilliant!”

“It was just… an experiment,” you shrug shyly.

The night carries much faster than you realize. One drink turns into three and before you could realize, it’s already past midnight. Eden texts you, asking where you are since you said you’d just get the book and go home right away, but it’s been hours.

Y/N: Don’t freak out, but I’m at a bar with Prof. Styles and his friends. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow!

Eden: HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO FREAK OUT AFTER READING THIS???!?!

Y/N: Lol, chill. Nothing extra is happening.

Eden: It’s already extra that you’re out with him.

Realizing how late it is, you decide you better get going, since it’s a long way back home. When you tell the little group that you’re about to head out, they all agree that it’s time to part ways and leave, so you all slowly make your way back to the parking lot.

“Do you know where the bus stop is back?” you ask, narrowing your eyes, trying to spot where you should be heading.

“You want to go home by bus at this time?” Harry asks.

“Well, I surely won’t pay for a ride, I live almost an hour away from here.”

“An hour?” he frowns. “I’ll take you home, come on,” he tells you, heading towards the minivan.

“What? No need. The bus is fine,” you protest, but he shakes his head.

“You are not taking the bus at this hour, not under my watch,” he simply states and you raise your eyebrows at him.

“Didn’t realize I was under your watch,” you tease him and it seems like your comment caught him off-guard. “Don’t piss your pants, I was just joking,” you tell him, and thought for a second you feel like you are being way too comfortable around him, his smile quickly smashes your doubts.

Sarah, Mitch and Charlotte all take an Uber since they live near each other and Adam is picked up by his wife, so when everyone is off to their own way, you and Harry get in the van and head to your place.

“How long have you had the band?” you ask, in need to break the silence that’s been weighing down on the two of you. “If you don’t mind me asking,” you add quickly when you see him.

“About four years. Used to have another one, but we parted ways.”

“And what do you do in the band?”

“I, uhh… Well I mostly sing but I also play the guitar.”

“You know, I’m not that surprised you can sing,” you chuckle to yourself sinking further down in your seat.

“How come?”

“You have a voice that’s great to listen to at lectures, makes sense that you can sing as well.”

You take a moment to look at his hand that’s gripping the steering wheel, he is the kind that drives with one hand on the wheel, the other one on the shifting gear. He makes it look so easy as he steers the wheel whenever he is turning a corner while his other one easily moves around the shifting gear, his tattoos are peeking from under his rolled up shirt sleeve. He catches you staring and you feel a blush burning on your cheeks as you turn your head to the other side. Maybe you shouldn’t have drunk that third beer…

“Am I really seen that rigid by the students?” he speaks up after a while and you turn back to face him.

“What do you mean?”

“You said I’m known about not mingling with students.”

“Well, you don’t mingle, do you? But it doesn’t mean you come off as rigid. More like… closed-off. Private.”

“I know I should be a little friendlier, but I just…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, I think everyone gets it why you’re like that.”

“Do they?” he arches an eyebrow.

“Well, you’re obviously a ladies’ favorite, but it doesn’t sit well with you being a person of some sort of power. It’s clear that you don’t want anyone to get the wrong picture about you. I’ve seen how bluntly girls are flirting with you, some of them are quite scandalous if you ask me,” you huff to yourself. “I totally get it that you don’t want even just a rumor to spread about you.”

“Didn’t think I was that obvious,” he admits, running his tongue over his lips.

“Don’t worry about it, you’re still a highly fancied professor, in all means,” you tell him with a warm smile.

“Does this mean you also fancy me?” he suddenly questions and your lips part at his words. He quickly realizes how ambiguous he just sounded. “I mean, am I one of your favorites? Where do I stand in your chart of professors?”

You can’t tell for sure because of the lack of lighting, but you could have sworn there’s a light blush on his cheeks as he corrects himself. Because of this, you don’t know for sure if he really meant it academically. Either way, the answer is the same.

“You’re my favorite,” you confidently state and your eyes meet for a moment before he turns back to face the road.

The rest of the ride is pretty quiet, you keep giving him directions to your place until you finally arrive a little before one am.

“Well, thank you for the ride,” you smile at him, grabbing the door handle.

“See you on Monday,” he nods shortly and watches as you get out of the can.

“Yeah, see you, professor,” you smirk before shutting the door and walking up the stairs and disappearing in your building.

“Was that Professor Styles in the fucking minivan?!” Nat throws the question at you the moment you open the front door.

“Jesus, why are you still up?” you sigh, shutting the door and shimmying yourself out of your coat.

“Because we were waiting for you!” Eden rolls her eyes. “So, care to tell us what the fuck just happened?” The three of you get comfortable on the couch and you give them a quick rundown of your evening from meeting Victor through being saved by Harry right to him offering to drive you home and they listen to you with wide eyes in complete shock that you just spent your entire evening with the most handsome professor on campus who also happens to be the most private as well.

“If I didn’t see him sitting in that van with my own eyes I would straight up think you’re lying, but I saw his tattooed hand over the windshield,” Nat gasps, processing the story.

“I know, I still feel like it didn’t happen, but it did.”

“And what is he like around his friends? What are his friends like?” Eden questions, hugging her knees to her chest.

“He is pretty much just like in lecture, just jokes a little more and he has a looser vocab. His friends are hilarious, I really got along with Sarah.”

“I know you still think it won’t happen, but I actually think you have a shot at him, Y/N,” Eden points it out and you just chuckle.

“Why, because he saved me from my douche ex?”

“No, because he let you stay for the night with him and his friends. This is literally the first ever time a student hung out with him.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Harry is a reserved and private person—“

“Harry?!” they gasp at the same time.

“You are now just casually calling him Harry?” Nat asks with ogling eyes.

“Well, yes, he asked me to, because it felt weird that I was calling him Professor Styles with his friends around.”

“Okay, I’m giving it… let’s say, he seems to be moving pretty slow, but y’all will be fucking in about six months,” Nat bluntly tells you and it makes you laugh.

“Oh, sure, whatever. I’m gonna shower and head to bed, you two don’t get too crazy with your fairytales,” you wave at them before disappearing in the bathroom.

The rest of the weekend goes by uneventfully, outside of the pathetic attempt from Victor to get you to talk to him, but you’ve had enough of him for a life so you finally block his number and hope you won’t ever see him again.

Both you and Eden oversleep on Monday morning, skipping your early morning lecture and already being late for Harry’s class as well, so you barely make it to Harry’s class in time, just sprinting up the rows, flopping down to your usual seats when Harry starts the lecture. It all goes as usual as if nothing really happened during the weekend, Harry doesn’t seem to be bothered by it at all. Glancing over at his desk you spot the book he promised you and you can’t hold your smile back. Still grinning, your eyes accidentally meet with his gaze and he stops for a heartbeat as if he is questioning why you are so smiley, but you just shake your head and he carries on before anyone could suspect a thing.

“I gotta run, my favorite TA is having his office hours now and I have a few questions for him. See you at home?” Eden asks once the lecture is over and you are getting ready to leave.

“Sure, have a good day!” you call after her and she sings a ‘you too!’ before running out of the room.

You pack up and head down between the rows, Harry spotting you right away and you go up to him without him even asking you to.

“Hey, sorry we were a little late to class this morning,” you tell him and he just shakes his head kindly.

“No worries. How… is your arm?” He furrows his eyebrows, his gaze wandering down to your forearm where Victor grabbed you on Saturday.

“Oh, it’s fine. I just have a little bruise,” you shrug, because it really isn’t that big deal, but you can tell Harry is still outraged by what happened.

“M’sorry about that.”

“It’s fine. Would be worse if you weren’t there,” you smile at him kindly and he nods to himself before turning to his desk.

“I, uhh, I brought the book we talked about,” he shyly says grabbing it from the desk. As people are exiting the room you can feel the glares on yourself, most of them are probably trying to figure out why Harry is talking to you for so long, but you don’t pay much attention to them as you take the book he hands you.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay for it?”

“No need, keep it, it’s yours,” he shakes his head with a small smile.

“Thank you then.” You slide the book into your bag before looking back up at him. “Well, I’ll see you on Wednesday, professor,” you smile warmly before heading out.

“See you!” he calls after you before you close the door behind you.

The week carries on as usual, you are working on papers that needs to be turned in before the fall break so you spend some extra time at the library, using every bit of free time you have so you finish everything on time.

Things go back to kind of normal with Harry, he greets you in the mornings when you walk into the lecture hall and other than the warm smile he occasionally gives you, nothing has changed.

Friday however brings a surprise, but not from Harry. You’re sitting at work in the afternoon, typing away on your computer, filling in some sheets when you get a notification on your phone from Instagram.

Sarah Jones is now following you!

You tap on her profile but see that it’s private so without a second thought you request following. Luckily, she approves you only a few seconds later and you gain access to her posts, quite a few of them featuring Harry on them.

Photos of birthdays, weekend getaways, band practices and performances, Harry makes a lot of appearances on her feed and you find yourself scrolling all the way down until you reach the first few posts from 2016. Just as you are about to leave her profile you get a message from her.

Sarah: Hey Y/N! Charlotte and I’ve been talking about you recently, loved having you with us last Saturday! Want to grab a drink with the two of us this weekend?

Y/N: Would love to, but I’m not sure Harry would like the idea…

Sarah: He won’t be there and besides, who is he to tell you who you can and can’t hang out with?

She is right. You enjoyed spending time with them as well and Harry has little to no word in if you want to meet up with his friends or not. This invitation has no connection to him being your professor.

Y/N: Alright, I’m down!

 This is how your friendship with Sarah and Charlotte starts. You meet up with them on Saturday and have an amazing time, they are definitely fun people to spend time with and though at first you feel hesitant to get closer to them, you soon forget about your doubts and just enjoy your time with them.

Your little girls night goes so well that they invite you out for dinner on Wednesday with Mitch joining the little trio. You learn that he is a quiet but hilarious guy, he and Sarah make a great couple, you think.

“We have a gig this Saturday at Green Light, want to come?” Charlotte asks at the end of the dinner.

“Okay, I really don’t think Harry would be a fan of that idea,” you point out, feeling like it’s surely over the lines. He still doesn’t know about you meeting some of his friends without him and you’re not sure how he would react if he did.

“Harry can fuck off, not everything is about him. We are inviting you as our friends, he just happens to be in the band as well,” Sarah rolls her eyes, clearly not as bothered by the situation as you are.

“I just don’t want to make him uncomfortable.”

“He is a big boy, he’ll get himself over it, don’t worry. So, are you coming?”

“I guess, alright,” you nod with a soft chuckle.

 Next week you contemplate telling Harry that Sarah invited you out for their gig, but at last you decide against it, something is telling you he would try to talk you down and now you’re pretty hyped to see them perform. So you keep quiet and just brace yourself for the worst when Saturday comes.

You don’t overdress for the occasion, decide to wear some light washed mom jeans and a simple sweater tucked into it, a casual look for a night out.

Even when you’re on your way to the place you are having second guesses whether it’s a good idea or not, but you tell yourself it’s not that big of a deal and if Harry flips, you’ll just tell him you came for Sarah and Charlotte.

As you get off the bus and walk towards the place, you immediately spot the little group of three next to Harry’s minivan, Sarah waving in your way as you become visible in the streetlights.

“There she is!” she beams happily and you just chuckle at her.

Harry is standing with his back facing your way but seeing Sarah’s reaction he turns around and you swear for a moment you think he is about to faint when he spots you.

“Hey everyone,” you smile as Sarah pulls you into a hug and Charlotte does the same.

“Hey, if it isn’t our little trouble seeker!” Adam teases you and you just roll your eyes at him before shyly glancing at Harry who is standing on your left, awfully quiet and deep in his thoughts since your arrival. He feels your eyes on him and his gaze meets yours and just by one look you can tell he is pissed.

Just as you thought.

The group chats a little longer outside before Adam suggests they head inside and get ready for their start and you are just about to follow them, but Harry keeps you back.

“Y/N, can we have a word?”

Staying back you nod, hiding your hands in your coat’s pockets as you look at him, lips curled into your mouth.

“What are you doing here?” he questions, eyebrows knitted together and he looks so damn intimidating, the neon lights from the front of the building tinting part of his face green, but you think red would suit him better with this look.

“I… came to see the band playing, what do you mean?”

“Is this your sneaky way of trying to come after me? Because I thought we had a very clear discussion about my thoughts regarding situations like this and you seemed to understand it.”

He comes off way angrier than you think he should be. Yes, it might be uncomfortable for him to see you here, but the tone he just hit is way too harsh for your liking and professor or not, you are not letting anyone talk to you like that when it’s completely not relevant.

“Okay, calm down. First of all, I was invited here.”

“By who?” he spats.

“Sarah and Charlotte, we met last weekend and had dinner this week as well. Had a great time and they asked me to come tonight as well, so get off of your high horse, I’m not here for you.” You can see the change on his face as the information sinks in and he realizes he accused you wrongly, but you’re not quite done with him. “But if I was here to see you, why does that bother you so much? You can’t avoid meeting students every minute when you’re off-campus. If I came here because of you, it shouldn’t affect you this much if you weren’t worried about something else than me just being here,” you point out and he furrows his eyebrows at you. “If I didn’t know better I would think you’re afraid to be around me because you actually like me, huh!” you tell him with an innocent yet suggesting look. His eyes widen and the confidence in himself quickly vanishes from him, replaced by anxiety and nervous looks as he realizes the meaning behind your words.

“I-I, that’s not—I’m not—“

“Take a breath before you pass out, Harry,” you sigh, dropping the hard act. “I didn’t come here for you and if you want to know I actually thought a lot about canceling because of you. But I genuinely like spending time with Sarah and Charlotte so I’m here as their friend.”

Harry stares back at you, completely defeated, regret filling his green eyes. You feel a little guilty for snapping so hard at him, after all you do understand his point of view, but you genuinely don’t think it’s as big of a deal as he makes it to be.

“I-I’m…”

“It’s fine, okay? Let’s just… move past it, alright?” you suggest and he nods as the two of you head inside, joining the rest of the group.

You stay behind while they are waiting for their time to perform, keeping some distance from Harry so he can’t accuse you again, but you occasionally look his way, catching him already looking at you, but you just can’t tell what could be possibly going on in his head. When it’s time for them to go on stage, you go out to the actual bar area and sit by the counter, not too much at the front but close enough to see everything that happens on the stage.

When they start playing you can’t take your eyes off Harry. His energy behind the microphone just knocks you off the stool and you watch him completely mesmerized as if he has put a spell on you. It feels like he turns into an entirely different person on stage, nothing like the man you see at lectures every Monday and Wednesday. He sings perfectly on key, putting some extra charm into the songs with his little additional tunes whenever he is not singing a line.

But what makes it absolutely impossible to look away from him is because he keeps staring at you, eyes locking with yours for way too long every time he catches your gaze. You try to ignore it, but it’s quite hard when his eyes are basically burning into you, it leaves you breathless.

Once the concert is over you order yourself two tequila shots quickly, because something is telling you that you’ll need the boosting if you want to face Harry after his little performance.

But for your surprise, when you join the band again and get near him, nothing really happens. It seems like Harry has come to peace with your presence in his little group of friends and he actually treats you like you’re part of the circle.

The six of you occupy a table at the back of the bar to spend there the rest of the evening and it’s all good, it seems. A harmless night out with a bunch of friends, nothing extra. Harry actually strikes up conversations with you involved and you feel like you’ve overcome a banter finally.

“Do you need a ride home?” Harry asks at the end of the night when everyone is about to head home.

“Only if it’s fine by you.”

“Wouldn’t offer it if it wasn’t,” he smiles shortly before the two of you say goodbye to the rest of the group and head to his van that was previously loaded with their stuff.

The ride back to your place is now much shorter, it takes less than ten minutes to arrive and you are just about to say goodbye when he speaks up.

“I want to apologize for the way I reacted to your arrival earlier tonight. It was… unnecessary.”

“It’s fine, I’m sorry for what I said after that too.”

“You shouldn’t be,” he shakes his head, staring down at his hands in his lap.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you shouldn’t be sorry for saying something that’s true.”

It feels like all air is knocked out of you as his words process and you stare at him with parted lips and raised eyebrows. When he finally looks up at you, he looks so lost and tortured, you feel the urge to hug him, but you stay still as he continues talking.

“I got mad because I do like you and seeing you outside of school is very… confusing for me. And this is why I’m gonna be very straightforward with you now. I can tell Sarah and Charlotte like you a lot and they are stubborn, they won’t see the situation from my point of view and I’m no one to tell you if you can hang out with us or not. But what I can most certainly tell you is that nothing will happen between us. I’m very serious about this, Y/N. You are very much welcomed to spend more time with us, but I want you to know that it won’t go further than this.”

For a couple of moments you’re only able to stare back at him, blinking completely frozen at his sudden confession. You could tell tonight has been a turning point of some kind, but you were not expecting this speech from him at all and now you are at a complete loss of words. It takes some time before you actually find your voice.

“Okay,” is all you can breathe out, nothing more, but it’s pretty much all you have to tell him. You won’t go against his will and force him to do something he doesn’t want. He deserves the respect.

He nods shortly, seemingly still very torn about the situation and you figure it’s better if you just leave now.

“Thank you for the ride,” you quietly tell him opening the door. “Good night.”

“Good night, Y/N,” you hear him before you shut the door and walk into your building, feeling like you’ve been just hit by a pile of bricks.

Unlike the last time when Harry brought you home, Nat and Eden are not waiting for you in the living room. Nat is probably already asleep and Eden went out for a date earlier and she hasn’t been back. You don’t bother to turn the lights on as you walk inside, just kick your boots off and hang your coat before collapsing onto the couch, just staring into the darkness, Harry’s words repeating in your head again and again.

“… I do like you and seeing you outside of school is very confusing for me.”

“… nothing will happen between us. I’m very serious about this, Y/N.”

“… but I want you to know that it won’t go further than this.”

Harry, your professor, The Harry Styles admitted that he likes you but also told you pretty forward that nothing is ever going to happen between the two of you. It still feels like a fever dream and you’re not sure how you are feeling about it just yet. Hanging out with him was already quite overwhelming, but you were not expecting this confession from him at all.

What are you supposed to do with this information? If he is so set on not taking any further steps, why did he even share it with you? He could have just easily keep his thoughts and feelings to himself and get away with it without you ever figuring it out. It doesn’t make sense.

For the first time in your life, something Harry Styles said doesn’t make sense. That’s new.

Following Harry’s confession you truly have no idea what to do, so you just go with the flow. He seemingly stays the same when it comes to you, friendly, but still keeping his distance. Nothing changes in the lecture hall, he just occasionally asks if you’re alright and you are guessing he only wants to know if you are having any trouble with Victor, but you haven’t even heard from him since you’ve blocked his number and you hope it’s going to stay like that.

You meet up with him and the band a few times outside of school and it’s not necessarily awkward, but you can tell he is keeping his distance from you, he never sits next to you or has one-on-one conversations with you, only if it’s necessary. The only time he dares to be alone with you is when he sometimes offers you to drive you home. You usually say no at first, but he insists, so you end up sitting in silence in the car until you arrive home, say goodbye and end of story.

No one in school even suspects that you’ve made your way into Harry’s group of friends, only Nat and Eden knows about it but they swore to keep it a secret, but you didn’t tell them about Harry’s confession. Whatever it is that’s happening between you and Harry, you would never put him into a situation he is trying to avoid so badly. You sit in his classes like everyone else, but while all the other girls are drooling over him, trying to get just slightly closer to him in any way possible, you sit in silence and think about the precious times when you get to see him outside of school.

Even with him being so distant towards you, you can’t help but slowly start falling for him. He doesn’t have to talk to you or be direct to you, it’s enough that you see him as himself, you see him with his friends, how he acts whenever he is not teaching, standing on the podium. And he is an amazing person, there’s no doubt about that.

The semester is gradually moving forward, once you get back from fall break, you basically move into the library, studying for your exams and finishing up all your papers. December arrives pretty fast and before you realize, the whole town is decorated with lights and Christmas trees everywhere, the shops are trying to lure customers in with all the sales and the Christmas shopping officially starts.

One weekend, when there’s only two weeks left of school before everyone heads home for the holidays, you and Nat go for a shopping trip, trying to buy every gift in time so you don’t have to worry about that at least last minute.

Wandering around the mall you naturally take a trip to the bookstore, always ready to buy something new to read. Nat dives into the cooking books wanting to get one for her mother while you’re just aimlessly looking through the shelves. As your eyes are running through the titles in the psychology department, you stop at one particular book, pulling it off the shelf as you can’t help but smile to yourself.

The secrets of Classical Conditioning.

You flip through the pages and though it doesn’t seem to be a groundbreaking work, it’s just explaining Pavlov’s experiment and further uses of it, you still decide to buy it.

That evening you sit at your desk, the book open in front of you, a pen next to it as you try to think of something to write into it. At first you just wanted to give it to Harry as it is, but you figured it would be a nice gesture to write a few words into it he could always read when he opens the book. After some consideration, you finally grab the pen and start writing.

-

Dear Harry,

I will always think of you whenever I hear of Mr. Ivan Petrovics Pavlov or Classical Conditioning. Thank you for another amazing semester and I’m happy I got to see you without standing on a podium. You are an amazing man, never change.

Happy holidays,

Y/N

-

Last week of school, you go to the Wednesday lecture, the last one of the semester with the book sitting in your bag. All through the 90 minutes class as Harry is having an open discussion about the lecture with the students, you keep debating whether you should give him the book or not. When the lecture is over and Harry wishes everyone happy holidays, you grab it from your bag and holding it to your chest you wait until there’s only a few people in the room. Eden has already left to hand in a paper so you walk down the rows on your own, eyes on the man behind his desk who is now packing up his papers and notes, getting ready to leave.

“Harry?” you faintly speak his name, grabbing his attention as he looks up at you from behind the desk. You glance down at the book in your hands and before you could change your mind, you place it down in front of him. “This is… for you.”

His gaze wanders down to the book, then back at you as he stares at you in awe, obviously surprised by the gesture.

“What’s this for?”

“Christmas gift?” you answer unsurely with a nervous chuckle. “I just saw it at the store and… thought of you.”

“Y/N, I can’t—“

“Yes you can and you will,” you roll your eyes at him, tired of hearing all these negations from him. He can’t, he won’t, he shouldn’t… for once, he definitely will if it’s on you. “Take it as my payment for the book you gave me.”

His eyes soften at you before he looks down at the book again, reading the title before he chuckles to himself.

“Thank you, Y/N,” he then finally says, accepting that you won’t let him return the gift under any circumstances.

“Have a nice Christmas, Harry,” you smile at him shyly, hands holding onto the strap of your bag as you start walking away.

“You too,” he faintly says and turning around you start walking, but then he stops you. “Y/N, wait!”

You stop in your track and face him curiously. He seems hesitant, stepping away from the desk, walking closer to you but still keeping some distance between the two of you.

“Do you… have plans for New Year’s Eve?”

“I, uhh—No, not yet.”

“If you happen to be back in town by then… Sarah is having this little get together. I have a feeling she already invited you, but if you said no because of me, I want you to know that it’s fine by me. Would be nice if you could come.”

He is right, Sarah did invite you over, but you kindly declined thinking Harry wouldn’t appreciate if you spent it with them. You wanted to give him a breather, have a night with his friends without having to avoid you all the time, but it seems like the situation has changed for him.

“You don’t have to invite me just because I gave you a gift, Harry.”

“It’s not about that,” he shakes his head softly. “I can tell you are getting along well with Sarah and all the others. I want you to know that I would never stand in the way and you are very much welcomed at any and all events.”

He seems and sounds genuine, you don’t see any sign of him just saying it because Sarah asked him to or something. No, this definitely came from him.

“Okay, I’ll… think about it,” you tell him with a warm smile. “See you around,” you wave at him before walking out of the room.

You don’t get to see his reaction to the words you wrote into the book and for a while, you’re not even sure he saw it. Maybe he took it home and put it on his shelf without even having a look into it, but two days later, when you’re already packing, getting ready to go home for Christmas, you get a notification that at first confuses you.

Breakfast is now following you!

You open Instagram with furrowed eyebrows as you go to the profile that just followed you. It’s a small account and private, of course and you almost close it thinking it’s just someone random when you see that it’s followed by both Sarah and Charlotte.

Could this be Harry’s profile?

The username is colazione8, it doesn’t give away much but now that you are thinking about it, it’s perfect if he wanted to stay unnoticed by his students that surely can use Instagram way better than him.

You tap on the follow request button and anxiously wait for an approval, hoping that the person behind the account is still online. You wait and wait, slowly losing hope but then the notification finally arrives. Your request has been approved.

You tap on the profile vigorously and three pictures appear in front of you. One is a picture of some random building, the first ever posted is a plate of nicely served breakfast of some sort and then there’s one that features the person you were desperately hoping to see.

It’s a picture of Harry sitting at a big dining table, a glass of wine in front of him as he is squinting his eyes towards the camera. You zoom into the picture just to make sure it’s him, but his features are clearer than daylight, it really is Harry that just followed you.

You’re still stalking his very private and not too eventful profile when you get a message from him, making your heart skip a beat.

Harry: Hey! Just wanted to thank you again for the gift, it’s really thoughtful. Read what you wrote in it… thank you, Y/N.

Y/N: I meant every word. Thank you for everything you did this semester!

It takes a few minutes for a response to arrive from him.

Harry: Are you already on your way home?

Y/N: Not yet, leaving tomorrow morning.

Harry: If I drop by your place in 20, can you come down for a sec?

Y/N: Sure!

Though your response seemed totally cool, you started panicking right away. What does this mean? Why is he coming here? Are you in trouble? You couldn’t be, you didn’t do anything wrong.

You quickly change out of your worn-out sweats and stained shirt, putting on a pair of jeans and a black hoodie, not wanting to see him looking like a total wreck. You sit on your bed, anxiously checking your phone every ten seconds to see if he has messaged you and those twenty minutes never seem to pass.

Then your phone finally chimes again.

Harry: I’m here.

Y/N: Be there in a sec.

You jump into a pair of trainers and grabbing your keys from the little sidetable you have in the hallway you storm out of the apartment, running down the stairs. As you walk out you stop in your track for a second, for some reason you were expecting the minivan, but this time, it’s a black Range Rover that’s parked in front of your building and Harry emerges from it the moment you step outside.

“Hey!” he smiles at you, shutting the door before he jogs around and you notice the little gift bag in his hands.

“Harry, is this what I think it is? Because you shouldn’t have, really,” you tell him right away as he stands in front of you, glancing down at the little bag in his hands.

“What? So you are allowed to give me a gift, but I’m not allowed to do the same?” he asks with a cheeky smile.

“But you already gave me one!”

“That wasn’t a real gift, so no,” he shakes his head, too stubborn to let it go. So instead, he nervously glances down at the little bag before handing it to you. “Here. Happy Christmas. But you can only open it when I’m gone, alright?”

“Why?”

“Just… please,” he breathes out and you not, keeping your curious hands to yourself.

“Alright. Well, thank you, Harry.”

“Sure. Um, have a great winter break and… I’ll see you around,” he smiles, walking around the car back to the side of the driving seat.

“You too, Harry. See you!”

You see him drive away as you walk back into the building, basically running up the stairs to your apartment, dying to see what’s in the little bag. Once you are locked in the safe haven of your room, you throw yourself to the bed and reach into the bag, finding a small box. One that’s usually used for jewelry. You pull it out with shaky fingers and take a deep breath before opening it.

Inside sits the cutest little silver ring you’ve literally ever seen. It’s thin and very detailed, tiny little strawberries lining next to each other and that’s the whole ring. Just the little strawberries, but it’s still the cutest you’ve ever seen. You put it on and it fits perfectly on your ring finger, holding up your hand you take a good look at how it sits on your finger. You’re in love with it.

Rolling to your back on the bed you stare up at the ceiling with a heavy heart aching for a man you know will never be yours, but you just can’t help it. The heart wants what it wants, right?

Reaching for your phone you type him a quick message

Y/N: Harry, thank you so much! It’s beautiful! But you shouldn’t have bought me anything!

Harry: I’m glad you like it :)

Y/N: I love it.

He doesn’t respond, just likes your message.

Christmas is always the same, especially because your family just never had those juicy dramas that could ruin any family events. Holidays have always been quiet and loving, pretty predictable. It’s good to be home again and spend quality time with your loved one, though your mind keeps wandering to a particular someone.

Sarah mentioned that Harry has traveled home to his mom and sister and from time to time you catch yourself thinking about what he could be possibly doing at the moment.

The only interaction between the two of you is when you post a photo with your sister and brother at Christmas dinner and he likes the photo, but nothing more. He doesn’t post or add to his story so you are left with your own elaborate fantasies of what he could possiblybe doing at home.

Sarah convinces you to spend the New Year’s Eve at hers and you are accepting the invitation a lot easier now that Harry has told you he is fine with you joining.

Just one day before the 31st you get back to your apartment and spend the second to last night of the year spiraling about the whole situation with Harry. Where are you two standing as of right now? Was his gift a gesture with a deeper meaning behind it?

You can’t step over the fact that you are not his student anymore. He has officially graded you and you’ve received your credits for his class, the ties are off, but he situation might still be risky and you doubt Harry is willing to change his mind about what he told you earlier. He made it clear that nothing will ever happen between the two of you, however you can’t help but feel a little hopeful that the new semester might bring a change into that.

After two hours spent in front of your closet and at least three mental breakdowns you finally decide to wear a black turtleneck dress which is just the perfect mixture of modest and sexy at the same time. You feel anxious to see Harry again, not sure how to act around him following your little gift exchange. There’s a chance he’ll just shut himself off once again and avoid you all night, you can’t tell.

Sarah’s place is already buzzing by the time you arrive, several guests are lounging in the living room and kitchen, some soft music is playing and it appears that everyone is enjoying the evening so far, judging from the laughter you hear from time to time.

“I’m so glad you came!” Sarah envelopes in a tight hug when you arrive.

“Thank you for inviting me. Here, brought some snacks,” you hand her the grocery bag you picked up on your way, not wanting to arrive empty-handed.

“Oh, you are an angel, some on in, make yourself home, take whatever you want to eat or drink!” she gestures around before bringing the bag into the kitchen.

The cozy home is already filled with a lot of people you don’t know, but you also spot Charlotte and Mitch right away so you take the safe spot in their little circle. You try your best to stay present in the conversation but you keep glancing around, looking for one particular person.

And then you finally see him. Harry emerges from the little hallway that leads to the bedroom and bathroom with Adam, seemingly deep in conversation as he nurses a beer in his hand. His checkered slacks and vintage printed t-shirt makes him appear so casual, if you didn’t know him you wouldn’t even guess that he is actually a professor.

Harry laughs at something Adam just told him and his eyes glide around the room until they find you standing near the kitchen. He stops in his track, gaze running down your figure before it returns to your eyes and he seems to be in awe, like he doesn’t entirely believe it’s you he is seeing even though he knew you’d be coming. There’s nothing you want more than to run across the room and throw yourself into his arms. You spent way too much time thinking about him during Christmas and seeing him in the flesh now is a mixture of feelings you can’t really describe just now.

Neither of you leaves the conversation you are in the middle, but you keep glancing towards each other. You’re nervously moving the strawberry ring around your finger, feeling his burning gaze on your figure all the time. You haven’t taken it down since he has given it to you, it partially made it harder for you to stop thinking about him, because the jewelry was quite a loud reminder every time you glanced down at your hands.

Two drinks later your sister calls you, as always she wants to say happy new year before the lines get hectic at midnight, so you move out to the small balcony facing the street as you talk to your sister. The spicy night air feels amazing on your heated up skin, the turtleneck dress was a good choice, but it’s definitely getting hotter with each drink, especially with Harry’s lingering eyes as well. When you end the call you decide to stay outside a little longer, take a few moments to yourself.

You jump a little when you hear the sliding door open and you’re surprised to see Harry walk out.

“Hey, thought you might need this,” he smiles softly, holding a blanket in his hands.

“Oh, thank you,” you mumble and let him wrap it around your shoulders. It provides just enough heat that your lips are not shaking anymore from the cold.

“What are you doing out here alone? Not enjoying the evening?”

“I am, I was just on the phone with my sister.”

“She’s older than you, right?” he asks and you tilt your head a little looking at him.

“How do you know that?”

“I, uhh… You have a lot of pictures with her on your Instagram,” he admits with a nervous chuckle.

“Have you been stalking my profile?” you tease him, but he clearly takes it way more serious than you intended it to be.

“No, I swear it’s not like that, I just—“ he stammers but you cut him off placing a hand on his arms that are crossed over his chest.

“Harry, I was just teasing you. It’s fine,” you assure him, giving him a gentle squeeze before you are about to pull your hand back, but his hold stops you. He takes your hand in his, gently bringing it closer to his face as he examines the ring sitting on your finger.

“You’re wearing it,” he breathes out, a small cloud emitting from his pink lips as his thumb softly runs over the ring.

“Of course. I told you I love it.”

You can’t ignore the shiver that runs down your spine at the feeling of his warm palm against yours, his thumb delicately running over not just the ring, but down your finger as well before he lets go of your hand. You already miss his touch.

“So, how was Christmas?” he asks clearing his throat.

“Good, nothing extra. What about yours?”

“Same, went home to the family.”

“Do you often visit them?”

“Not as often as I would want to, but I’m trying to go every couple of months.” Harry turns towards the street, eyes running along the not too busy road that stretches past Sarah’s building. His hand comes up to the railing, fingers slightly drumming on it. “How come you didn’t bring anyone tonight?”

“Well, my roommates are still home and I also didn’t think you’d like the idea to have another student of yours around.”

“Right, yeah,” he nods, but you can tell something else is still on his mind. “So… no boyfriend to bring?”

You give him a puzzled look. Is this his way of asking if you are seeing anyone at the moment? Because if it is, it’s kind of ridiculous.

“No, not really. I guess you can say I’m not looking for one actively.”

“How come?” he asks with raised eyebrows, his body turning towards you as he leans against the railing. You give him a ‘really?’ look. You think about getting a little sassy and teasing with him, but then decide to just be straightforward instead.

“Because I’m kind of into my Methodology of Cultural Anthropology professor.”

Harry’s lips part as his eyes pierce into yours and for a moment you really think that he is about to flip, tell me how dare you say such thing to him and curse you out, but a second passes and his gaze softens as he lets out a shaky breath.

“Y/N…”

“What? I just answered your question,” you innocently shrug, looking away from him. Despite this long and weird game the two of have been playing these past months, this is the first time you openly admitted that you have a thing for him.

“You know how complicated it is and I told you that nothing can happen.” He shakes his head in defeat, a hint of disappointment in his tone, but it just grinds your gears.

“What, so you can ask about my dating life but I can’t say that I’m into you? How is that fair?”

“That’s not the same.”

“Well I think it is. Both are highly inappropriate to bring up in our situation, don’t you think? Yet you’re trying to put all the blame on me.”

“Alright, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Let’s just… forget about it. I really don’t want to fight with you.”

“Because you’re afraid I might actually win?” you sassily reply, crossing your arms on your chest.

“I’m just trying to do the right thing, okay? Would you… let me?”

“If you haven’t realized it yet, I’m trying really hard to stay in my lane, but you’re not making it any easier.”

“I’m trying too, okay?” he growls, clearly losing his calmness at this point. “I’m really fucking trying, Y/N, but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do!”

“You’re the one making it hard!”

“It’s not my fucking fault I can’t stop thinking about you!”

“Well it’s not my fault either!” you snap at him, both of you raising your voice, the rest of the party oblivious about the screaming match the two of you are having on the balcony. “If you’re so set on not letting anything happen, why do you come to me and act the opposite?”

“The opposite?!”

“Yes! It’s not quite appropriate to gift your student with a ring or ask them about their dating life. Or is it all new information to you?”

“You started with the gifting!”

“So what? You could have just left it there, but you didn’t. It’s not that it didn’t make me happy, but don’t try to put all the blame on me for saying something when you’re already crossing the lines.”

Harry stares at you with a hard look and you’d pay great amounts to actually read his thoughts at this moment. His jaw clenches as he exhales sharply, eyes turning away from you, as if he couldn’t even bear to look at you.

“Make up your fucking mind,” you growl under your breath as you push your way past him and walk inside before he could get a word out.

For a well-respected, educated and smart man, Harry can act pretty fucking stupid, you think. He is not being fair and you will not apologize for anything you’ve said. If he doesn’t want anything to do with you, he needs to stay in his lane and not dance on the line, poking the sleeping lion. He doesn’t get to fuck around and then put all the blame on you, that’s just not how it works and he needs to learn that.

In the last hour that’s left until midnight you mingle with the guests and try to keep your thoughts of Harry at bay, though it’s quite the challenge since he lingers around you, keeping his eyes on you all the time, as if he is trying to piss you off or something, but you’re determined to be a mature adult and keep your composure.

You’re getting tired of this game and you’re not sure anymore if you are willing to wait around until Harry makes his mind up. Not when he doesn’t keep his own rules at least.

“Come on,” you mumble to yourself as you’re trying to open up a new bottle of wine, but the screw just wouldn’t move, no matter what you do. A hand reaches forward and wraps around the neck of the bottle, interrupting your pathetic misery.

“Let me help you.”

You let Harry take the bottle, biting into your bottom lip as you turn around and watch him easily open the bottle you’ve been fighting with the past ten minutes, he grabs your empty glass from the counter and fills it.

“Thank you,” you mumble when he hands it back and you take a sip right away. He places the bottle to the counter, fingers strumming on the surface before he takes a deep breath and speaks up.

“Y/N, I’m sorry.”

“For what exactly?”

“For the way I acted. You were totally right, I called you out for things that I did myself too, that was unfair of me.” He clears his throat, leaning against the counter with his back side as he crosses his arms on his chest. It brings out how toned his arms really are and you give yourself half a second to drool over that before you take another sip from your drink, forcing yourself to keep your thoughts under control.

“Thanks for acknowledging it,” you mumble, not sure what to say exactly. The two of you stand like that in silence, eyes roaming the guests, something clearly weighing down on both of you, but it’s hard to name and address it.

You can tell he is overthinking, the gears are almost visible, turning in that smart head of his, but you don’t want him to go into depths he shouldn’t. He really is making a bigger deal out of the situation that it already is, but it’s going to wreck him.

“Okay, I want to know, what was the worst way someone tried to flirt with you?”

Harry turns to you with a puzzled look, but you just sip on your wine, waiting for his answer.

“Um, I don’t… really keep track of it.”

“Oh come on,” you give him a look. “I know you have a story. I wanna hear it!”

Your eyes meet and he is searching in yours, trying to figure out what’s the sudden change in your mood when an hour ago you were ready to throw him off the balcony. Truth is you are just frustrated, because the situation feels so impossible. You never had to deal with such an amazing man, knowing he is into you as well, but you just can’t have him. The struggle is hard for the both of you but you can’t blame him entirely. Hating on him because he is not willing to take a risk that could easily ruin his entire life but at least his academic career is just not fair and you won’t put him through that.

Harry sees where you’re coming from and he shoots you a thankful smile before it turns into a smirk as he looks down at his hands.

“Professor Davids from the department of linguistics asked me to be her date for her ex-husband’s wedding.”

“What?” you gasp with wide eyes. “For real?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “She started swinging by my office all the time, trying to chat me up and then one day she asked if I wanted to go with her, that we would be staying at this nice hotel and all… she really thought it was a good idea.”

“That’s very awkward,” you laugh, entertained by the thought that Professor Davids would go so low when it came to dating. “I assume, you declined the invitation.”

“Faster than ever,” he chuckles making you laugh even louder. “Okay, your turn.”

“What?”

“I told you an awkward story, now it’s your turn.”

“Um, the worst was probably a promposal I got.”

“A promposal?” he asks with a puzzled look, his forehead creasing as he pulls his eyebrows together.

“Yeah, when they ask you out to go to prom.” “Oh, yeah. Didn’t know it had a specific name.”

“Because you are way too British,” you tease him and he just gives you a narrow-eyed look, but you can see the smirk hiding on his lips. “Well, anyway, I was dating a guy senior year, but this other one was convinced he could win me over and take me to prom. He brought a fucking mariachi band to school and gave me a serenade in the middle of the hallway while my boyfriend was standing next to me. He asked me to prom so confidently at the end of the song, like he actually had a shot but it was so painfully awkward,” you laugh at the memory shaking your head and Harry joins, finding it quite entertaining.

“He really did that to himself.”

“He did, I felt bad a little, but what was I supposed to do?”

You slip into telling more and more awkward stories, staying in the kitchen you create a little bubble, the rest of the guests don’t seem to exist as you enjoy yourself with Harry. This is the most carefree and loosest you’ve ever seen him around you and you quite like this version of him. So easy to talk to and even funnier than his usual self.

A little before midnight Sarah runs around with champagne, filling everyone’s glass, getting ready for the countdown. You and Harry join Charlotte, Adam and his wife in the corner of the living room as everyone is slowly getting excited for the last moments of the year.

Looking around you see a lot of couples, holding hands, hugging, clearly planning to snog the moment the clock hits midnight and when you glance at Harry on your right you’re convinced he is thinking about the same thing.

You’re not naïve, you don’t think he is going to kiss you, but you still allow yourself to play with the thought just a little. He is standing so close to you, just the tiniest move and you’d be touching him, skin to skin again, feel him under your—

The thought is abruptly interrupted when you feel his warm palm wrap around your hand, your whole body freezing and for a split second you think it’s just an accident, that his touch will disappear before you could even blink, but it stays there. Harry maneuvers his fingers until they are laced together with yours and he keeps a firm hold of your hand, hanging between the two of you, staying hidden because you’re standing close to each other. Your breath catches in your throat and you’re afraid if you dare to move he’ll let go of your hand.

Another version of yourself would laugh hysterically at how worked up you are right now just because he is holding your hand, but the you that’s actually in the moment is about to burst just by this small touch. You have absolutely no idea what it means or why he chose to do it, but you don’t really care about it. You just want to absorb all the heat you feel coming from him where his palm meets yours, fingers braided together tightly, as if he is trying to keep you next to him, like he thinks you are about to disappear and it’s way of anchoring you to him, but truth is you don’t want to go anywhere.

“One minute, everyone!” Sarah sings in excitement as she turns on the TV and puts a huge clock on the screen that’s counting the seconds as well. You shyly glance to the side, finding Harry standing motionless next to you and when he notices you looking, his eyes meet yours. He looks terrified, like a lost little boy and you can’t tell if he is afraid of your reaction or because of what his actions might bring on him. But you want him to know that you are completely okay with where it’s heading.

“Ten! Nine! Eight!” The countdown begins and you inch closer to Harry so you’re pressed against his side, his body heat radiating into your skin even through the layers of clothes you two are wearing.

Harry leans down the moment you lift your head, his face is so close, it wouldn’t take much for you to finally kiss him, do the one thing you haven’t stopped thinking about for months.

“Y/N…” he breathes out and it’s a tortured plea, he is begging you to stop him from doing something he might regret, but you are dying for him to finally sin. You want him to give it up already, you have absolutely no desire to be the burden that keeps him in his lane. You need him to cross the line and stay there.

“I’m not stopping you, Harry,” you tell him quietly, the urge to close the distance between the two of you is burning inside you.

“Seven! Six! Five!” the countdown continues, but it all tones out, you can only see, hear and feel Harry.

“We can’t,” he whines, closing his eyes as he exhales shakily.

“We can, we just shouldn’t,” you correct him, his eyes snap open and meet yours again. You can tell he is so close to finally giving in and let his feelings and desires take control and you will not try to stop him.

His face inches the tiniest bit closer and his forehead is almost touching yours now, you can see every curly eyelash that frames his gorgeous green eyes that are now filled with fear and nerves.

“Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” Everyone screams together as the clock finally hits midnight while you just stare at Harry holding your breath, praying that he is finally ballsy enough to take this step.

“Harry, please,” you beg, not too proud of it, but you just can’t take it any longer. His hand is gripping yours tightly as he closes his eyes again and for a second you think that it’s gonna happen. He is going to give up the act and finally kiss you.

But right when the moment is burning the most… he pulls back and your heart sinks.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his hand lets go of yours and it feels like your arm is ripped off, tears are welling in your eyes.

“Yeah, me too,” you mumble under your breath, chugging down the champagne before making your way through the living room, determined to leave as soon as possible.

“Y/N, wait, where are you going?” you hear him calling after you, but you don’t stop. You get rid of the empty champagne glass and grab your coat from the rack, storming out of the apartment as if you had somewhere to be.

Tears are streaming down your cheeks as you run down the stairs, almost tripping over your own feet. You hear the other pair of feet running behind you and Harry calling after you, but it’s not stopping you.

You push the front door of the building open, but it’s heavy, so it slows you down just enough that Harry can grab your wrist when you are about to start running down the street.

“Y/N, don’t go, let me explain!”

“No!” you snap at him. “I don’t fucking want to hear your explanation! I’m done, Harry! I’m fucking done! I was trying to be patient and respectful, I didn’t want to make it worse for you and let you do your thing, but you kept dancing back and forth and I can’t keep doing this, so I guess I’m sorry too.”

You’re choking on your own words that echo from the walls, the street is almost entirely empty, the world is still celebrating the new year while you’re at your breaking point. Harry stands in front of you, defeated and panic all over his face as he listens to you.

“I will not sit around and let you play your little games any longer, because you can’t make up your mind whether you want me or not.”

“Y/N I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life!” he snaps, throwing his hands into the air. “That’s the problem! This shouldn’t be happening, but I can’t fucking stop thinking about you, I can’t stop wanting you!”

“Then do something about it!” you beg through your tears.

“I can’t!”

“Yes you can!” you scream at him. “You can but you probably just don’t want me enough to actually do it! And it’s fine, but—“

You don’t get to finish your rant because Harry firmly grabs your arm, yanks you towards him and with one swift movement, his lips are crashing against yours.

It all happens so fast but your body reacts before your mind could process what’s really happening, fists bunching a handful of his sweater as you pull him against you, his hands flying up to your face, cupping them confidently as he kisses you hard and demandingly.

It’s like a fucking dam that’s been broken, everything you both kept bottled up and under control just breaks loose and it’s a kind of a wild fight for trying to devour each other now that all lines has been crossed an blurred into nothingness.

He is the dominant one, but you do some pushing and pulling on your own as well. You’re forced to take a few steps backwards, back arching at how forcefully he is pushing forward, lips smacking against each other over and over again, his tongue meeting yours, swirling and dancing around with yours, a shameless moan escaping your mouth.

His hands roam down your sides and you jumps when they reach the back of your thighs, legs wrapping around his waist. He keeps you up easily, fingers digging into your flesh where your butt meets your thighs and this angle allows you to be completely pressed up against him and feel every single inch of his body that burns for you.

It’s beyond anything you’ve ever imagined, you’re not sure it’s because of the build-up that led to this point or simply the chemistry you two got, but it blows your mind, making you question how you could go this long without ever kissing him.

“Harry, I want you,” you moan when his lips move down to your jawline, kissing and biting on the soft skin, tasting you wherever he can reach.

“I want you too, Y/N,” he breathes out resting his forehead against yours before kissing you again.

“Take me home then.”

“Are you sure?” he pants as you run your fingers through his hair and tug on his gently, earning a whimper from his perfectly pink and swollen lips. You love this satisfied dew on his face, especially because you know it’s because of you.

“Never been more sure about anything in my life.”

You unwrap your legs from around his waist and return to the ground, but not without him leaning down to kiss you once more before he grabs your hand and starts pulling you down the street. You spot his Rover right away and start sprinting, Harry following you right behind with a carefree laugh.

Settled in your seats he starts driving, but you can’t keep yourself away from him. His hand that’s not on the steering wheel is gripping your thigh as you lean over the console and start kissing his cheek, jawline and the corner of his mouth as one of your hands runs down his chest until it reaches his pants.

“Love, if you move further down we’re gonna crash,” he warns you with a shaky breath. “I drank a little too and I’m already fucking gone from kissing you, if you touch me I’m gonna lose it.”

You giggle, pressing one last kiss to his lips before sitting back in your seat. You need every bit of your patience and self-control to stay modest on the way back to his place. Hands gripping his you bring it up to your lips, kissing his knuckles gently as he speeds down the empty streets. It’s still barely over midnight, everyone is still celebrating, oblivious to how important this moment is to the two of you.

You really thought this would be the end. When he pulled away at midnight all hope was lost for you and it broke your heart to know that he will never choose you over his better judgment.

It’s your first time at Harry’s but you don’t really care to look around as the two of you make your way inside the townhouse, lips already melted together as you stumble through the dark hallway, not wanting to let go of each other. You successfully make it into his bedroom and Harry turns on the bedside lamp while you’re already eagerly getting rid of your coat and shoes. He does the same, clothes start to litter the hardwood flooring hastily, but neither of you is thinking about them. Harry scoops you into his arms once again, kissing your lips passionately as he bunches your dress up at your hips until he can finally grip the end of it and pull it over your head.

“Oh shit!” you giggle, the turtleneck getting stuck on your head for a moment before you’re free from it.

“That big head of yours,” he chuckles kissing your forehead.

“Shut up,” you smack his chest gently, pushing him down to the bed so you can straddle him, knees on his sides as you sit on his lap, lips meeting again.

He throws his hands up when you start pulling his t-shirt up and once the fabric is off of his body, his arms wrap around you, pulling you close to his chest. Your skin meets his and it feels heavenly, only little clothing separating the two of you at this point.

Harry scoots backwards and then throws you to the mattress, getting on top of you without your lips ever parting. His hips are pushed against yours and you can feel everything through the thin material of his slacks. Without even knowing you grind your hips, your core meeting his erection in the movement and he moans uncontrollably at the sensation.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he breathes against your lips and you can’t push your smirk down at his reaction.

“Yeah, fuck me, Harry,” you tease him before your lips get occupied once again.

His hands work fast. He unclasps your bra without you even noticing, the straps falling from your shoulders before he gets rid of it, throwing it across the room as if it did something against him. When his hungry eyes fall down on your naked chest you see the same kind of torture in his eyes that was there when he was fighting with himself before.

“Harry, stop thinking,” you tell him, fingers massaging his scalp as you lace them through his hair. “It’s fine, we’re fine.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he questions again and you pull him down for a reassuring kiss.

“One hundred percent. I want this. I want you.”

“Oh God, I want you so bad,” he whines again, lips kissing down your jawline, neck and collarbone before they attack your breasts.

He cups them, licks and bites them, making you a whimpering mess underneath him every time his tongue meets your hot skin. This man will be the death of you. As he moves down your body, his fingers hook into the waistband of your panties and he glances up at your for reassurance once again, you nod eagerly, lifting your hips so he can easily glide the fabric down and off of your body. Harry sits up, eyes burning down on your naked body lying in front of him as he undoes his own pants, pushing them down his long legs until they join the rest on the floor. You push yourself up when his hands move to his boxers, you want to be the one to take them off. He gladly backs his hands off when you reach out and start tugging them down. He kneels on the bed as you pull the fabric down and his erection finally becomes free, making you ache for him immediately. Once the boxers are out of the way completely you want to reach out to touch him, but he stops you, hands wrapping around your wrist before they could reach him.

Your eyes snap up to meet his darkened gaze, questioning why he stopped you.

“Y/N, I… If we do this, there’s no going back,” he breathes out with a pained look. You push yourself up to your knees so you meet his height, hands cupping his cheeks as you pull him into a sweet kiss that he hesitantly but returns.

“I know what you think about us, Harry, but I assure you, that I’m completely fine with it. But if you don’t want it to happen, we can just… lie here. I’m fine with that too. Kissing you was already such a gift for me,” you smile at him, gently pecking his lips.

“I just don’t want you to wake up and regret it. I’m not pushing you, right?”

“If anyone, it’s me pushing you,” you chuckle softly, a small smile tugging on his lips as well. “You didn’t push anything on me, alright? We are both adults and it’s completely fine. We’ll figure out the rest, I just want to focus on you now. Can I do that?”

Harry nods, still looking a little unsure, but you can tell he is starting to settle in his mindset. It’s not just him that worries about the other regretting something. You know how torn up he is about anything that’s about you and though you want him more than anything, you still don’t want to push him into doing something he is not entirely comfortable with.

“Do you want this?” you softly ask, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“I do. I’m just—“

“Then it’s all good, Harry. We both want it, nothing else matters for now,” you tell him, wanting nothing else than to finally see him enjoy himself entirely. “Lay down for me,” you tell him, feeling like you taking the lead is a good idea now.

He does as you asked him to, lying down on the mattress, head sinking into his pillow as he blinks up at you, watching you swing a leg over him before settling to sit on his thighs.

“Can I touch you?” you ask, wanting to make sure he feels completely comfortable with you. Pleasing him is your number one priority right now. He nods, lips parting as he watches your hand reach out and wrap around the base of his erected length. He whimpers under your touch, his eyes fall closed when you gently pump him a few times, his cock fits so well in your palms, like pieces of a puzzle.

Leaning down you kiss his fern tattoos on each sides of his hips before placing one to his leaking tip, sliding your hands to the base before you slowly and gradually take him into your mouth.

You’re not planning to make him cum with your mouth, but you’ve been dying to taste him and it’s just as good as you imagined. The way his body reacts to your touch, the noises that leave his kissable lips, this man is completely out of this world and you want to explore every inch of his body.

You bob your head a couple of times, just enough to wet his length and work him up for what’s coming next. When you let him go of your mouth and you move a little up on his body so that his cock can be lined up with your hole, you look at him to see if he is still down to continue. One hand holding his cock, the other one flat on his naked chest, you ask him a question with your eyes that he answers with his hands squeezing your hips.

“I have the implant. Do you want to put on a condom?” you ask him at last.

“I trust you,” he breathes out. “Do you want me to put one on?”

“I want to feel you,” you tell him shaking your head.

“Okay,” he nods so it’s settled.

Leaning down you peck his lips one last time before you push the head inside and then slowly ease yourself down on his throbbing length.

“Oh fuck!”

“Harry, oh my God!” you both moan at the sensation of him finally entering you. You’ve had your fair share of sexual intercourses throughout your life, but none of them felt this good. None of them pleasured you this good so fast and easily, just the feel of him being inside you is making you lose your mind.  

You start off slow, wanting to feel him just right, get used to his size, but as soon as you feel more comfortable, you pick up a faster pace. His fingers are digging into your flesh at your hips as he holds onto you for dear life, panting and moaning at your motions. He glides in and out of you perfectly, setting your senses on fire practically.

“Harry, you feel so good,” you gasp, getting lost in the feeling. Sex has always been a good experience for you, but with Harry it’s a whole different story. As if he just opened a completely new world you never even knew about before.

“Yeah? You’re gonna cum for me?”

“Yes! Oh fuck!”

Harry pushes himself up, an arm coming around your back as he easily flips the two of you over, your back gently hitting the soft mattress. He holds himself up above you, lips crashing with yours as he starts to do the work this time, thrusting in and out of you, his hips smacking against yours forcefully as you both nearing the end.

“You’re making me lose my fucking mind, Y/N,” he cries out, head falling to the crook of your neck and you wrap your arms around him as a shield, holding him tight against you.

It doesn’t take long after that. He is hitting just the right spots, making you moan his name over and over again as your orgasm slowly devours you and washes over your whole body while he is still relentlessly moving.

“Harry! Oh… Fuck!” you gasp, legs and hands shaking and you clench your muscles around him, throwing him over the edge with you. He falls out of his rhythm, his cock twitching inside you as he moans against the hot skin of your neck, coming undone in your arms.

Nothing has ever felt this intense and mind-blowing and you’re now sure you’re addicted to him, there’s no turning back, not that you want that.

He collapses on top of you, still inside you, his body weighing down on you heavily, but it feels just fine. You run your arms up and down his sides, kissing the side of his head as you are both trying to catch your breath. It takes a few minutes for him to come back to reality with you, he lifts his head and moves to the side so he is not crushing you anymore, but an arm remains thrown over your abdomen. His vibrant green eyes are shining like never before when they meet your tired gaze and cupping his face in your palm you pull him in for a slow kiss where you finally have the time to actually taste him without the rushing of your own needs and urges.

“How are you feeling?” you softly asking, knowing well how major this was for him. You wouldn’t want him to spiral and start to self-destruct because of what just happened.

“I’m feeling fine,” he murmurs lowly, his fingers dancing on your naked side. “Just still a little torn if I did the right thing.”

“You worry too much. We did nothing wrong.”

“Not sure everyone would agree with that.”

“Fuck everyone else,” you chuckle and a smile tugs on his lips as well. “I will not feel bad for having the best sex of my life with a hot as fuck man I’m really into,” you bluntly tell him, earning a smug grin.

“Best sex of your life, huh?”

“Not even ashamed to admit,” you nod into the pillow. “How… was it for you?” you shyly ask, afraid his answer might disappoint you. But Harry pulls you closer until you’re pressed up against his chest, his lips capture yours, kissing you fiercely, making your heart skip a few beats for sure.

“Fucking amazing, baby. Probably the best I ever had too,” he admits, lips brushing against yours as he speaks. A satisfied sigh leaves your lips as you nuzzle against his chest once he has rolled to his back.

Silence comes over the two of you, you’re listening to his steady heartbeat, mindlessly drawing patterns over his chest. Lifting your head your eyes meet his and you can tell he has been thinking hard about what this all means for the future now.

“I’m in,” you simply tell him.

“Huh?”

“If you are thinking that I might not want to do this with you, that I just wanted a good fuck, that’s not what I think of this. If you want to give us a chance, I’m totally in.”

“You think we can make it work?” he quietly asks, his voice barely more than just a whisper.

“Of course,” you smile at him warmly. “You don’t?”

“I do, I’m just… there are so many things that can go wrong.”

“Then… we’ll make them right.”

Harry breathes out through his nose, clearly having a hard time to take it as easy as you do and you wish you could magically make all his doubts go away.

Sitting up you put your hands on each of his sides, looking down at him determined to bring out his confidence in the two of you.

“We just have to be patient and careful until I finish. Then we are basically free. That’s just one more semester. It could be way worse, we can make it work for a couple of months before we can finally do whatever we want. That doesn’t sound that bad, does it?” Harry shakes his head, reaching up he tugs your hair behind your ear before running his fingers down the side of your face.

“So we are really doing this?” he breathes out, a small smile on his sweet, pink lips.

“Well, I’m surely not giving up on this, we came a long way to be here,” you chuckle. “Question is, are you gonna give up on us? On… me?”

“Hell no,” he chuckles softly as he shakes his head. You smile down at him and leaning down you peck his lips tenderly.

“Then… we really are doing this.”

SEQUEL: 🌊 AN OCEAN AWAY 🌊

-

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[butwhyduh]

Peeping through the stacks

Jason todd x reader

Valentine’s fic

Warning: smut

I recommend the book I mentioned if you like the classics.

“I have a proposition,” Jason said and your eyebrows rose. “Not that kind. We separate. I grab you a book and you get me one. And we meet up afterwards to go to dinner to see what we got. No cheating. No following each other around. Whoever gives the better gift, wins and gets to control the rest of the night.”

“Sounds like plan. Just know Todd,” you said moving up in his space standing on your tiptoe to talk in his ear. “I’m going to crush you.”

“Only if you win, baby. Only if you win,” he said with a smirk. He opened the door to the largest used bookstore in Gotham. 3 stories with a section of just records and another of old comics, it was heaven. They even had a coffee shop in the back of the second story. You went left and he went right.

You went straight for the classics. Jason would pour over old novels for hours and his favorite were clearly dog eared. You thought about replacing them but, while he’s appreciate it, it wasn’t exactly exciting. You milled around the area, looking at books that were nice but not it. As you moved to leave the area, a section caught your eyes.

If you love the classics but need a book written in the last 50 years:

This is what you needed. A careful list of books that you like next to new books was perfect. Jason had been reading his copy of Moby Dick and talking about the hubris of man recently, heavily alluding to Bruce. You grabbed the recommended book: In the Heart of the Sea.

Now to find Jason. You had agreed to no cheating but it wasn’t really cheating to just watch him if you had already picked. He was probably in your favorite area and you walked upstairs to watch down low.

Jason was holding two books in hand and looking between them both. You felt a thrill to watch him. He almost always caught you quickly but the store with multiple patrons and levels must have thrown him off a little. He finally grabbed a book and looked directly up at you with a smirk. You threw your fist playfully. He’s certainly caught you. You came downstairs with a grin.

“I knew you were watching me. That’s cheating,” he said. You held the book behind your back as you kissed his cheek.

“It’s not cheating if I didn’t change my book,” you protested and he kissed your forehead.

“Tell yourself that. Let’s check out and then I can win,” he said, wrapping an arm over your shoulder and walking to the counter. You both laid them down, face down because you’re competitive, and paid. You carried two separate bags and held hands as you walked down to a little cafe on the corner.

The place had the coolest vibes. Fresh coffee day and night, records and music memorabilia on the wall, and a band of musician played on a tiny stage every night. Valentine’s was no exception. You found a table in the back and promptly ordered your favorites from the menu.

“Okay. Show me yours and I’ll show you mine,” you said with a grin.

“I thought we’d wait until tonight to do that,” Jason said with a roguish wink. “Oh, you mean the books. Yeah, let’s swap.”

You gave him his bag and he yours. It almost looked like a drug deal if it wasn’t books. You pulled out the book. A continuation of a series you loved but had a hard time finding the next parts. Jason pulled out his and read the back.

“Okay, you won,” you said with a teasing scrunch of your face. “This is really great.”

“This looks great. But you did cheat too...” he said pretending to take his time deciding. “I guess I’ll take the win. But it was pretty close, I’m not going to lie.”

“Don’t rub it in.”

“Seriously, I can’t wait to bore you with more whaling facts.”

“I’m taking it back,” you said and he laughed. “I can’t learn anymore. I’m not kidding.” Jason’s eyes smiled too and you loved the sight. He looked happy. You food arrived and a folk band started playing.

As your food dwindled and it was fully dark outside, Jason’s gaze lingered on your body. His hand sat on your knee as you talked.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said randomly and you exhaled quickly with a shy smile as you looked away. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Okay,” you said, letting him pull you from the cafe and a few blocks down. Jason pulled you close and rubbed his nose against your cheek. You turned your head up to close the space between your lips. It started as soft, gentle, cute. But Jason gripped your hips and pulled you closer and you wrapped your arms around his neck and before you knew it, you were being pushed against a wall as he kissed down your throat. You made soft sounds as he nipped and kissed the sensitive skin.

“Jason,” you said breathlessly. He hummed against your skin. “Take me home. Take me home.”

You ran your hands along the muscles under his shirt as you rode behind him on the motorcycle. Jason insisted on helmets and you wished you could kiss at the back of his neck. Probably best. Your hands on his stomach were distracting enough.

Jason barely drove the bike into the parking garage of his building before pulling off his helmet and turning towards you. You did the same. Neither of you climbed off as you made out. His tongue slid in your mouth as his hands held the back of your skull in place. He reached behind him to turn it off as you kissed.

“Upstairs,” you breathed. He nodded before getting up and picking you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist and kissed his neck as you walked towards the elevator. The knee high slit in your skirt had scooted up to expose most of your thigh. Luck was on your side as no one was around to watch but security must have gotten a great show with the pair of you aggressively kissing. Jason pressed your back against the wall in the elevator as you rode up to his floor.

He carried you down the hall. You were less lucky as your elderly neighbor was sitting in the end of the hallway as she always did everyday. She’d watch the sunset and people watch everyone coming home from work or school. She giggled and looked away. Jason put you down the second you both realized and you flushed with embarrassment.

“Don’t worry sweetie, I was married once. Happy Valentine’s,” she said with a big smile looking out the window. Jason quickly pulled you in the apartment.

“I forgot about her,” he said. “Gross part is that she’s probably thinking about her dead husband and all the times he used to rail her.”

You glared at Jason. “That’s.... so gross. Why? Like you ruined it. Your dirty mouth.”

“I can get it a little dirtier,” he said with a wink but ruined by bursting into laughter. “Like do old people blow each other? Can their hips bend that much? I know their knees are bad. What age did they have to give them up?”

“Shut the fuck up. That’s so gross,” you said putting you hand over his mouth and he laughed before pulling you close.

“You look really pretty tonight. I forgot to tell you because I kept staring at you,” he said with a soft look. He bent and kissed you sweetly. Not rushed or hard like earlier. He slowly pulled you to the bedroom. You pulled each other’s clothing off as you walked. Shirt here. Pants there.

“Thank you. You look good too,” you said as you pulled the bedroom door closed. Jason rolled his eyes. He never agreed with you but had given up on arguing.

Jason pulled you on top of him in bed. His nose ran up your throat until his lips met yours. He was slow and deliberate in his movement. His hands roamed your body as you moved your legs to straddle him. You didn’t bother teasing either of you but instead sunk down on him.

“Princess,” he breathed with closed eyes. You sat for just a moment, get used to him, before starting to move. You bent at the waist to give him long deep sloppy kisses. “Baby,” he pleaded before you started moving.

“Remember, I won,” Jason said.

“Yeah,” you asked with a grin. “What do you want, Jaybird?”

“This. Keep riding me. You look so good,” he said breathlessly. His hands gripped your hips as you bounced. He grimaced as you swirled your hips. “Fuck!”

“Oh we like that,” you commented. He chuckled distractedly. Jason pulled you down to where he could kiss and nip at your chest. You whined as he took your nipple in his mouth. He let go with a loud smack.

“Mmm someone seems to like that,” he quipped. You pressed yourself back towards his face and he chuckled against your skin before giving your breasts the attention you wanted.

“I love your Valentine’s gift. You’re so thoughtful,” you said breathlessly. Jason looked up at you confused.

“Yeah no problem. Is now the time?” He asked with his eyes half closed and mouth open as he breathed heavily. His hips jumped to meet yours and he reached a hand down to rub circles on your clit. You moaned loudly and he smiled as he watched you come undone. He thrust your faster to finish with you. You both moved together jumpily as you buried your head in his neck. You breathed for a few second before softly kissing his lips.

“I seriously loved today,” you said.

“Yeah, I’m glad. Me too. Surprised that no one call-“ Jason started before his phone rang and he sighed. “At least we finished. I’ve got to take this,” he said and you rolled off and curled in the blanket. He answered the phone as he threw on boxer briefs. He looked at you wistfully as he talked. It sounded important.

“My source said Black Mask is getting a shipment early this morning so I’ve got to go. We can’t have those guns on the street,” Jason said after hanging up. He leaned over to give you a dizzying kiss. “I’ve got to go but here is your book and a glass of water. Don’t stay up. I don’t know how long I’ll be.”

“Be safe,” you said before he climbed out the window.

“Aren’t I always,” he said and you just knew he was grinning under the helmet before jumping from a 6 story window. No, you thought, no you aren’t.

[moonbeambucky]

Hey Neighbor (Part 22)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Peter Quill x Reader Word Count: 3377 Warnings: fluff, angst

Summary: You had a plan and then life came along with one of its own. With your future almost derailed you worked hard to get yourself back on track and finally everything seemed to be going right… that is, until your new neighbor moved in.

A/N: I’m not going to lie, you’re going to be mad for a while. Feedback is always appreciated!

HEY NEIGHBOR PART 21 | HEY NEIGHBOR MASTERLIST

If you told yourself that after what happened Bucky you would be smiling and laughing more than ever before you would have called yourself crazy. At one point it felt like you would never be happy again and then you met Peter.

Peter was the sun that shined brightly pushing the clouds away. You went on a few more dates, texted everyday and found that there was no longer room in your mind for sadness. Bucky was the past and though you didn’t want to be friends at the moment you didn’t hate him as much as you had before.

“Ooh flowers! Someone must really like you,” Mr. Lee said, smiling from the security booth.

You smiled walking over to him, setting down the large vase with the gorgeously arranged bouquet Peter had delivered to your office.

“I think he really does,” you beamed, thinking about how sweet Peter has been.

Sure it’s still very new but you really like him and can’t wait to spend the weekend together. He had both days off and it was so tempting to call out of your internship. If you hadn’t taken off last weekend for the stupid wedding you would have, but you know that you can’t.

Steve finally hangs up the call he was on, and you didn’t miss his tight lipped grimace and the way he eyed the flowers as if they had wronged him personally.

“If you’re happy with Peter I’m happy for you but you really need to let Bucky explain.”

Your eyes flared with a flash of rage wondering if Steve betrayed your trust and spoke to Bucky and on top of that you were really tired of people telling you what they think you need to do. You bite your tongue, not wanting to berate Steve in front of Mr. Lee with the variety of colorful words that were swirling in your mind.

Instead you replied calmly with only the teeniest hint of sass in your voice, “Steve, there’s nothing to explain and I don’t care.” You wished Stan a good weekend, grabbed the flowers and walked out.

Steve knows you’re lying, that despite what you said you’re still hurt, he just wished you weren't so stubborn about admitting it.

Laughter filled the air in Peter’s apartment as the two of you danced in his living room, the lively music from his “Awesome Mix Vol. 1” playlist bouncing off the walls. Groot lays across the couch watching as Peter’s other pet, Rocket, a ferret with raccoon coloring thanks to the dark mask around his eyes, tries to unhook the latch of his cage.

Life has been so much happier with Peter in it. You love snuggling up next to him, petting Groot who insisted his head stay in your lap as you watched a movie together. Peter’s lips press a gentle kiss on your forehead, stirring you from the sleep you had nearly given in to. A tender smile spreads across your face as you look up to him, reaching forward to kiss him. A surge of desire ignited your senses, leaving you and Peter to some heavy petting that did not involve Groot.

The following Friday night you and Peter were eating at his place, trying your best to ignore poor Groot who whimpered beside the table. Steam was rising from the fresh pizza that sat on the table and as appetizing as it looked your stomach couldn’t help but twist with a little guilt. But pizza wasn’t something exclusive to Bucky, that’s silly. You could have pizza– it’s food, it’s fine. You shook off the thoughts.

Groot’s eyes followed the slice in hand to your mouths, gruffly barking in frustration because he wanted some.

“Down,” Peter commanded after Groot pawed at him.

You gave the dog a sympathetic smile, feeling bad as you continued to eat. Your eyes shifted towards your screen that lit up with a message from Wanda, wondering if you were going to make it tonight. You hadn’t hung out with everyone in a long time, spending whatever days Peter had off together. And then there was the fact of really not wanting to run into a certain someone, but Wanda assured you Bucky was not there.

It would be nice to introduce Peter to everyone, maybe Steve could change his attitude if he met the man that made your cheeks ache from smiling so much.

“My friends are all hanging out at a bar right now and invited me so, I don’t know if it’s too early for this but if you maybe wanted to come with me?” You cringed at yourself, realizing how you unconfidently rambled on.

“Sure kitten, I’d love to meet your friends.”

“Really?” You bit your bottom lip, smiling widely as Peter’s hand reached over to caress your cheek.

“I’d do anything for you.” The light sparkled in his eyes as he stared at yours, dropping his gaze to your lips and gradually back up again.

You would have texted Wanda back if your fingers hadn’t carded through Peter’s hair, your lips on his as he lifted you up, your thighs wrapping around him as he carried you to the bedroom. An unwatched table left Groot alone, happy to steal a slice for himself.

The night air was cool on your hot skin, still a little sweaty after your romp with Peter. You wondered if the smell of sex lingered on you, walking towards the bar together and stopping every few paces because Peter couldn’t keep his hands off you. With his arms around your waist he pulled you close to him, the metal gate of a closed store clanging as he leaned against it to capture your lips.

You were all smiles by the time you walked into the bar, hand in hand with Peter. Your eyes lit up when you spotted Steve and Clint, with Peggy and Natasha being revealed the closer you got to the table. You saw the back of Wanda’s head and were about to call out for her but your voice died in your throat as you spotted two familiar faces.

Bucky, and with him was that woman, Claire.

Your lips press tightly as you stare at her. Looks like Bucky kept his date after all, adding another fuck buddy to his mix since you left.

“Hey Y/N! Glad you could make it!” Sam waved you over.

Wanda whipped her head around, her brows raising with concern. With the squeeze of Peter’s hand against yours you put on a smile. Sam was the first to get up and introduce himself but you took over, introducing Peter to everyone including Bucky and the woman whose name you pretended you forgot.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Wanda said, smiling tensely.

She grabbed your arm before you had a chance to stop her, pulling you into the women’s room.

Her hands balled into tight fists that she shook in frustration. “I wish you told me you were coming. I thought you didn’t answer because you weren’t and Bucky only showed up like twenty minutes ago but if I knew I would have– ”

“Wanda, I don’t care.” She studied your smile, looking for cracks in the facade she knew you had to be wearing.

“Uh huh, okay.” She rolled her eyes not believing you. “It’s barely been three weeks and you’re telling me that you don’t care? That’s bullshit Y/N and you know it.”

“Wanda, I mean it!” you snapped. “Bucky and I had sex– that’s it!” The cutting motion of your hand emphasized your words. “I’m with Peter now and I’m happy so you need to drop it, okay?”

You pulled the handle of the door roughly, wanting to quickly get back to Peter. A smile graced his face with everyone’s eyes on him. You slid in next to him, catching the tail end of a question Clint had asked.

“Hmmm craziest story. Well there was a time we got called to an apartment in Queens because this kid had a Q-tip stuck in his ear.”

Everyone wore a look of confusion that only grew the more Peter spoke.

“It was this high school kid with his buddy and one of ‘em thought a spider crawled in his ear. So apparently they were trying to shake it out but it wasn’t working so the other thought they could dig it out with a Q-tip but he pushed a little too far and panicked, thinking it was stuck in his brain.”

“And what happened?” Peggy asked.

“The EMT’s were able to remove the Q-tip but the whole time the kid was freaking out, saying he could feel the spider biting him in his ear but they didn’t see anything.”

Claire spoke up, not that you wanted her to. “That’s why I always advise patients not to stick anything in their ears.” Whatever miss know-it-all, I’m sure Sam would say the same thing too.

“But the weirdest thing is that a week later I saw this same kid walking by the station so I ran out to see how he was doing. He turned down an alley and then he was gone, disappeared outta nowhere. So I look up…” Peter paused, making eye contact with everyone before finishing, “... and he’s climbing up the walls– like a spider!”

Everyone burst into a fit of laughter and Peter admitted the first half of the story was true. He wrapped his arm around you, proud to have seemingly won over your friends’ approval. Most of them at least. You tried not to make eye contact with Bucky but it was hard. You felt his gaze burn deeper with every sign of affection Peter showed, and anytime you happened to give in and catch his eyes you felt your upper lip tremble.

But this was fine. The chapter in your life with Bucky is over. It wasn’t even a chapter really, it was a short story, a few lines of prose and it’s over. This is fine.

This is fine...

It took a while to fall asleep that night. Even though your body was desperate to rest after another an amazing round of sex with Peter your mind could not shut off. You were thinking of Bucky and the emotion that poured through his eyes, the tense line solidified in his lips. Was he upset with you? He couldn’t be. You haven’t done anything wrong. You weren’t the one that fed him lies and played with his heart like a game, tossing it aside for a shinier toy. No. If Bucky is upset that’s all on him, because he let you go and not the other way around.

In the early morning you and Peter walked with Groot until you went separate ways, the two of them heading to the station to begin Peter’s shift and you headed home. You didn’t bother sneaking in like you had before. If Bucky heard you then whatever, you don’t care, but you don’t want to speak to him.

Last night had been very awkward, having not said a word to each other. You’re not sure if anyone who wasn’t aware of the situation realized there was tension, though Natasha had given you a curious look when you said goodbye. If she didn’t know she probably suspected and you’re fairly certain you’ll be under interrogation soon.

You couldn’t help but wonder if Bucky was under the same scrutiny. His mom was still tagging you on Facebook posts, a mix of funny animal videos and “mom approved” memes. Does she know what happened? Probably, considering the Fourth of July is coming up and she hasn’t extended a barbecue invitation. Does she know about Claire? So far you hadn’t seen Claire Temple on her friends list.

Yes, you stalked her through Bucky’s Instagram. It’s not a big deal, you just wanted a little more information about who she was.

                                              Claire Temple            Compassionate Helper 👩🏽‍⚕️ Avid Runner 🏃🏽‍♀️ Coffee Addict ☕

Scrolling through her photos you learned she is a nurse and (after having a minor heart attack) you learned she used to work at Metro-General. She doesn’t post much, a few pictures of the sun setting between the skyscrapers or graffiti on the side of the building; typical aesthetic pictures. But sprinkled in between those were pictures of her with people; colleagues from her new job at Sacred Saints, smiling as her arms barely wrapped around a brick of a man; her brightly colored sleeves popping against the umber of his skin. She grinned from ear to ear with him, ex-boyfriend perhaps?

Stop stalking her Y/N, stop it now!

You exit her profile, vowing not to look again though you’re not sure how much you trust yourself to keep that promise. But then again Claire was just one of many people that Bucky was sleeping with, so unless she was insanely clingy you didn’t think she’d be flaunting a picture of a guy she knew she didn’t have a chance with.

Besides none of this mattered anyway. Even if Winnie invited you to a barbecue you wouldn’t have been able to go because the Fourth of July happens to be Steve’s birthday and everyone was getting together to celebrate.

Luckily Peter had off the whole weekend and you were so happy he was coming with you. He looked very handsome in his FDNY shirt with casual shorts that showed off his thick calves while you stuck with a mostly red, white and blue theme, breaking out your red converse again with jean shorts and a blue tank top with stars on it.

In the late afternoon you boarded a crowded train to Brooklyn where Peggy’s friend Carol was happy to host a party to celebrate America and America’s ass. Apparently that was her nickname for Steve, teasing him with it because she knows how red he turns when he hears it.

Steve and Carol became close because of Peggy and though she seemed a little reserved at times you could tell they had broken the ice with each other. You met Carol before, seeing her at Steve’s apartment, and with her girlfriend Val when everyone went out for Peggy’s birthday a few months back. Carol lived in a building right off the water in Brooklyn Heights and had the perfect view for fireworks.

Hand in hand you and Peter walked down a lively street with kids riding their bicycles past you, and rhythmic music flowing from open windows. You were buzzed into the building, climbing up a hefty flight of stairs before reaching Carol’s apartment.

Val opened the door, her face lighting up as she threw her arms around you. There was barely a moment to admire the white stars painted around the eyes of her light brown skin as she introduced herself to Peter, catching him off guard in a welcoming hug before inviting you both in.

“Can I get you guys something to drink?” she asked, gesturing to the assortment that filled the kitchen counter, various bottles of soda and seltzer, beers, bottles of liquor. “Firecracker jello shot?” she offered, holding out a tray of them.

“I think I’ll say hi to everyone first, thanks,” you replied, making your way into the living room.

Steve was staring at the view from the window, setting the beer down from his hand when he heard you call his name.

“Happy Birthday!” you greeted, hugging him tightly. “What’s this?” You smirked, pointing to his jaw as he and Peter were saying hello. “Too lazy to shave on your birthday?”

Steve ran his fingers along the beginnings of a scratchy beard. “I think I’m growing it out.”

“I wonder what Peggy thinks… Peggy!” you turned to shout for her, seeing her on the other side of the room with Carol.

You said hello to them, meeting a few of Carol’s friends along the way. Soon more of your friends showed up and you were having a great time until Bucky and Claire walked through the door. You were the closest one to the entrance, wishing you had Peter by your side to distract you but he had been caught up in a conversation with Carol about her time as an Air Force pilot.

“Uh hey Y/N,” Bucky spoke, your name a foreign word on his tongue, “Happy Fourth.”

It was probably because of the fact that you were on the spot, with all eyes on you as Sam shouted for Bucky, that he leaned in to give you a half hug. Your palms didn’t quite make it up to return the favor. His touch reminded you of the ways he had you crying out his name, but now you shivered because it all felt wrong. Claire actually hugged you though she was a little hesitant, unsure if meeting you once constituted a greeting like this.

You made your way back to the living room, uneasy and in need of a distraction, not finding that in Peter who was still deep in conversation. Clint’s gaze caught you from the opposite side of the room, and he signed asking if you were bored. You shook your head, forcing a smile and signed back, “Not with you here.”

Clint strode over, grabbing a handful of chips first before he stopped beside you. You hadn’t seen him that much so it was nice to catch up a little. He was so happy the school year was over, hoping now he and Natasha might have some time to actually plan their wedding.

“Speaking of couples, it’s weird to see that, right?” He nudged his chin towards Bucky and Claire.

“What’s weird?” You’ve seen Bucky’s fuck buddies before, that girl Dot tried to weasel her way into hanging out with everyone on St. Patrick’s Day but at least Bucky had the common sense to spare you all.

“Bucky. That he actually settled down. Who would’ve thought?”

Clint chomped on chips as your mind spiraled into panic. You tried to control the tremble of your voice as you asked for more details, finding out Bucky actually decided to date Claire. Bucky Barnes. The man that’s fucked more people than the American healthcare system was actually, seriously, honestly in a committed relationship.

Your heart pounded in your chest, overwhelmed by this knowledge that has you on the edge of screaming at the top of your lungs and bursting into tears. Your feet took you straight to Val, not having to do much convincing to get her to do a jello shot (or three) with you. It seemed she had sampled a lot already herself and you wanted to feel just as loose.

She wooed loudly, grabbing some patriotic tinsel that decorated the table and placing a bunch first behind your ear and then hers. She stumbled a little bit but you caught her, both of you laughing as you helped her stand somewhat upright, fixing the metal necklace engraved with some sort of Norse symbol from around her neck.

With a bit of booze in you things didn’t seem so bad, except for walking down the stairs, that wasn’t the best idea, but by the end of the night that’s what everyone did. Carol’s apartment was on a dead end street that led right into the entrance of a pedestrian walkway that stretched out above the highway. It had perfect views of Manhattan, the Brooklyn Bridge and the beautiful booming fireworks display.

Peter stood behind you the whole time, his arms around your waist, face nestled in your neck pressing a kiss that made you squirm in delight. But your mind was cruel, reminding you of Bucky’s lips where Peter’s had been; of the chill on Bucky’s nose as he sought the warmth of your skin; of Bucky’s hands around you, holding you close like a puzzle piece fitting perfectly together.

The fireworks were reflected in the tears of your eyes, that you thankfully brushed away before anyone noticed. That was the last night you hung out with your friends as a group.

You couldn’t do it anymore, seeing Bucky and Claire hurt. Maybe it was the lies, all the bullshit you ate up like a starved child. And then it hit you.

Bucky wanted a relationship, but not with you.

PART 23

[incorrectlumityquotes]

FULL REVIEWS: “The First Day”

After Adventures in the Elements, I was all in on the lumity hype train. Granted I thought it was going to be like Little Witch Academia where they’ll do as could as they can without making it canon. I’m still afraid it’s going to be like Star vs The Forces of Evil where they make it canon in the last minute. I hope not. I’m so sick of that crap. 

There have been shows where the main couple gets together and they stay together as the story continues. Parks and Recreation, Kim Possible, Tangled the Series, etc.

But you guys didn’t come here for a rant. You came for a review. Luz starts her first day at Hexside and it didn’t go the way I thought it would. Egg on my face, huh?

The cold open actually starts with an animation error showing Luz in her multicolored uniform. Hello? Spoilers, guys. According to The Owl House wikia they’ve fixed it in reruns, but I don’t know if that’s true.

Turns out the fabled “placement exam” is just impressing Principal Bump.

Forced to use all your skills and knowledge to impress one person in order to live your life’s dream? Where have I heard that before? Oh right, the WWE. Fuck the WWE.

The placement exam goes...exactly the way I thought it would.

Exactly.

Principal Bump’s response is also...exactly the way I thought it would be.

Good for you, Luz.

So Luz begins her first semester at Hexside. Amity congratulates her (more on that later) before meeting up with Willow and Gus. Several funny jokes later and Luz meets with Principal Bump to work out her schedule. Luz wants to do a little bit of everything (Red Mage style) but, thanks to the coven system, the school districts have a “Hocus Focus” policy. Everyone has to specialize in one track only. 

This actually really scared me at the time because as a viewer it would be pretty lame to have nine tracks and only have us focus on one of them. The only other thing to do would be to keep switching characters based on which track we would want to focus on for that episode, but like typing that sentence, that seems like a lot of work for something simple. 

Luckily we get a funny shot at Harry Potter before Principal Bump employs his “eenie meenie minie this one” policy. I’m starting to think someone on the crew is really likes Harry Potter and some else in the show thinks Harry Potter is really stupid.

Okay so he’s dead. We know that, right?

Bump picks potions for Luz because get out of my office. An inspector from the Emperor’s Coven is going to show up and he hopes to impress them enough for a donation to cover the costs of the damages from the previous episodes. 

Luz tries to get into her potions class, but it’s not as exciting as the thought. And the idea of a potions coven also bothers me. Like if the coven system limits your magic does that mean people in the potions coven can’t do shit? It doesn’t take magic to mix shit together and stir. Hell we do that IRL. No magic required. 

I choose you to die.

It’s made even worse when Willow and some moon-headed girl have a POKEMON BATTLE right outside her window. It’s made even double worse we we get a glimpse of Luz’s class schedule. 

Potions for beginners

Potions in motion

Potions (again)

Still potions

Potions 'till you die

Potions after death

Good thing I’m not writing for the show because I would have added:

Potions, don’t you get it it’s all potions

Demonics JK more potions

Potions 2: The Quickening

How about potions on my hand

 This drives Luz to try out that crystal ball she saw where she immediately gets caught by Principal Bump because magic I guess. Principal Bump becomes an odd number because he literally can’t even and ships Luz off to the detention track. That thing that educators do when a student needs extra attention but they don’t want to do the work.

The detention track seems terrible at first. The students aren’t allowed to do anything except wait until the day ends. But when the “teacher” falls asleep, one of the girls leads Luz to The Secret Room of Shortcuts. They use this secret network of magical back doors to peek into any and every class so they can learn whatever they want. Turns out Bump put them in the detention track for wanting to mix magics. 

And there’s the part I expect to get flack for. I don’t like the detention track kids. It’s not that they’re bad. I just think they’re kinda lame and boring. Viney could be cool but the rest seem like afterthoughts. They’re not funny or interesting and they’re not on screen enough to make me care about them. They kinda bring down the episode for me. For a show that has so many creative characters I was really surprised on how not invested I was. 

They get along well enough until Willow and Gus pull off the second laziest plot device in fiction: the misunderstanding. Yup, overhearing something without the proper context and taking it personally. It always works none of the time.

Meanwhile in the B (C?) plot, Bump is trying to use Amity to impress the inspector and it works too well. The inspector is actually a Greater Basilisk, a snake-like monster that eats magic from witches. 

That’s not a face you wanna see everyday.

Everyone tries to fight it off but it’s a snake-like monster that eats magic from witches. Luz’s magic doesn’t come from her; it comes from nature so the basilisk can’t eat that.

Luz rallies the detention track kids to fight off the Basilisk, and I got pissed because the dog’s palm reading thing did nothing and was completely useless.

Bump gets pissed at the kids for mixing magic but Luz confronts him about it. Luz does something that angers boomers and uses logic to prove her case. Bump realizes he was wrong and just lets the kids study multiple tracks and I’m thinking how does that work? If one track has a full day’s schedule how they going to do double the work? Or do they just do half the work?

Pokemon and Sailor Moon? Someone’s 90s anime is showing.

Luz still can’t decide on a track so Bump let’s her do all of them. Which begs the question even further, how is Luz’s schedule going to look like? Big brain hurt. Just tell yourself it’s just a show; I should really just relax.

Meanwhile in the C(?)-plot, King sneaks into the school to eat trash, leftovers, and free food. Somehow he ends up as a substitute teacher of a class proving my point that people are basically stupid and will believe anything you tell them.

FINAL SCORE: 4 - Liked it. 

I really wanted to give this episode a 3. I was just so not impressed by the detention track kids and I know that everyone else just loves them to pieces for the seven minutes maybe of screen time and the palm reading to defeat a Greater Basilisk. Whatever.

But I liked it because of the jokes, the jabs at Harry Potter and King’s C-plot was just funny enough to push it over that edge. And there’s also...you know....

[greenninjagal-blog]

Sentence starters: 14, with Roman & Deceit??

Haha, long time, no write! We’re having a pretty poor time right now so I figured a little bit of Roceit would be in Order! Warning: I did not edit this in the slightest. 

Summary: Roman has always been a little curious, but the pastry chef definitely takes the cake on this one. 

Words: 3007

Quick Taglist:  @chelsvans @dwbh888 @glitchybina @faithfulcat111 @felicianoromano @harrypotternerdprincess @holliberries @jemthebookworm @killerfangirl3  @musical-nerd18 @never-end1ng-suffering @nonasficcollection @silverflame-wc @stricken-with-clairvoyancy @the-sunshine-dims @themagicheartmailman @themultishipperchild @thenaiads @treasureofpriam @vianadraws  

Read on Ao3 || My General Writing List || Prompt Page (it should also be stated that you don’t need to pick from this prompt page if you don’t want to. Just send me an idea and I’ll do my best :D)

The Point of This is....

“Here, Bite Down on this.” 

Roman has had a lot of weird first meetings. As a kid he liked to wander around the town meeting knew people, which, of course, drove his mother up a wall the first ninety or so times that she had glanced away from him for a second and he had disappeared completely on her. Roman was just a curious type of kid. The first time he had been confused by a couple of workers who were fixing an outlet behind one of the counters at his mothers favorite little shop, and he had just wanted to know what they were doing.

They had told him! Which had been cool. Did you know there were wires all in the walls?! He hadn’t even realized that his mom had been frantically looking for him until she had grabbed his arm in a frantic panic and asked if he was alright, and then don’t you dare wander off again! What if something had happened?! Roman! 

It had happened again anyway, the store clerk had been redressing a mannequin and it had been neat! Then window cleaner, then flower arranger from the flower shop, then the busker outside the Irish themed pub he wasn’t allowed to be near, then the sign flipper at the street corner who taught him to spin one of the smaller signs--

The point was that by the time Roman hit middle school he knew most of the “little people” by name, and they of course knew his. Roman knew that a lot of them called him by his full name because his mother used to scream it when he went missing,-- Roman Alexander Prince, if you don’t get back here right this instant-- but he learned a lot of cool things! 

He could arrange flowers, knew when and where the most dense foot traffic was, knew how to flip signs and draw attention. He could Macgyver his way through most electrical circuits, had the sewers under his town fully mentally mapped out, and knew that if you hit the vending machine behind the laundromat just right, you could get a free snickers bar. 

He liked learning knew things. And for the most part? People liked to teach him.

As he got older, he noticed just how heartbreaking that sort of thing was. When he held the ladder steady for the owner of the Mom-and-Pop grocer while the old man replaced the “N” of the sign, the man had casually mentioned that the last person who asked him how he was doing had been a family man who had stopped coming months ago.

Then the more he looked, the more he had seen it: the when he waved to the woman who worked the bakery her whole face had lit up like he had gifted her the world, when he bought the street performer a water they had almost broken down to tears right there on the street, when he had offered the man sitting alone at the park with his head in his hands a chance to pet his dog, the man had called him a “generous kid” and tossed him five dollars before he left considerably happier than he was when he arrived.

The point-- and yes, Roman did have a point-- the point of all of this, was that Roman liked people. He liked learning things, and he liked hearing the stories that people had to share.

He liked telling those stories.

Which would probably explain how he got here: Mindscape, the ever prestigious school for the gifted. Although “gifted” tended to be a relative term. Roman had met a lot more people here, all his age, who eyed him warily like his smile was something to be scared of.

(”It is!” Remus, his twin had cackled from across the table in the dining hall, as if they didn’t have the same exact face.)

Roman and Remus had gotten in together, both on accident: Remus had crafted an application for Roman, sent it in without Roman’s knowledge, and then hacked the School’s Admissions database and marked the application for acceptance. 

Things should have gone really bad, because Remus hadn’t known that the School President, Thomas Sanders, checks each and every application and when he noticed an application had skipped most of acceptance process he started digging.

Things should have gone really bad then. Like really bad. Like Remus ends up in jail and Roman has to change his name and move countries, really bad.

Instead Thomas Sanders, had sent them both acceptance letters, and Remus was required to work in the IT department without pay and take all the computer application classes. Somewhere in the middle of that Remus had struck up some sort of deal with the cyber defense team where the Mindscape’s tech department spent all school year building their best unhackable code, and in the summer Remus got to take anything and everything he learned that year and try to break it. 

Remus had been winning for two years now. Roman had seen the grown men reduced to tears the moment that Remus’s hands had started flying over the keyboard. 

Again, the point to this-- Roman had been at this boarding school for two years now, barreling his way through the journalism and creative writing classes like they were tissue paper walls. He’s met a lot of people his age, and he’s witnessed a lot of weird quirks about them.

Like how that kid in the library who likes to sleep on top of the bookcases, and Roman had witnessed getting swatted with a broom so many times. He was a gymnast and an acrobat and really freaking flexible-- and he had told Roman to fuck off when he had tried to learn anything more than that. 

Or like that artist who ran the yearbook club took pictures of everything. It had been pretty cute the way the puffball had insisted on taking pictures of the cracks on the side walk, the clouds in the sky, the rainbow made from the refraction of the light through the glass windows. They had called it “catching little pieces of happiness in everyday!” Which was much sweeter than Roman had been anticipating. “Oops! Sorry gotta go, kiddo!” They had said and then they had been gone taking more pictures before Roman could ask anything about them.

Or like that guy from his Civics class who had gotten way too competitive about the trivia game they had played in class. It wasn’t just trivia though: Roman had learned later that he apparently Logan Ackroyd, the Logan Ackroyd, who had won the American chess tournament for three year in a row now. Any game that Logan touched, reportedly, he won. Chess, Checkers, Othello, Jenga, even Tic-Tac-Toe, and he treated them each like a life or death situation.

The point is of this is everyone had a weird quirk about them.

Roman knew that, knows that.

Heck, even Roman had a weird quirk, which apparently was wandering the school halls after classes. And now that includes being dragged into one of those classrooms by the hoodie of his sweatshirt and then immediately having a fork of something shoved in his mouth.

“VIRGIL!” Another voice squawks, followed by a telltale click of a camera taking a photo, but okay, Roman is a little too busy choking on a fork to take in everything.

There is a hand on his back, and one on his chest, holding him surprisingly steady, while he basically dies-- and man, he did not think that he’d be dying at seventeen years old. Who knew that his mother would be right all those times she insisted that his habit of walking around aimlessly was gonna be the death of him? 

There are tears in his eyes by the time he manages an inhale, and someone takes the fork back out of his mouth. The hand on his back is rubbing soothing circles and his lungs flutter weakly, like a butterflies wings.

“Dude,” A voice says boredly. Roman squints up at his attacker-- because yes this was an attack and Roman will forever be scarred by it-- and vaguely recognizes the purple patched up hoodie for the library acrobat. “I said “Bite down on this”, not choke and die on the floor.”

Roman coughs to dislodge the last bit of whatever food just got shoved down his throat.

“Please ignore him,” A smooth voice says, a new voice, and one that sounds exactly like silk on Roman’s ears. “Are you okay?”

The new person, the man who is holding Roman, is, in a word, pretty. Actually, no wait, not pretty; he’s gorgeous. He’s beautiful. He’s Michelangelo’s David come to life, an angel straight from heaven, the God Apollo himself taking a quick break from driving his sun chariot to walk among the mortals--

“Virgil, what did you do!” The breathtaking stranger yelps.

“I didn’t do anything!” The acrobat shoots back, although he looks worried, “I just put the fork in his mouth! Oh shit, dude come on, please don’t tell me you’re allergic to something-- Dee what was in that? I can’t go to jail for killing someone! I just got here!”

There’s another click and a giggle and Roman blinks himself to enough awareness to realize that beside the three of them, there’s also that photography artist and the Logan Ackroyd in the room, also what looks like a cake with three slices cut out of it.

“You aren’t going to jail,” Logan says, although he’s playing on a Nintendo Switch and isn’t paying all that much attention to what’s going on.

“It just a cake,” Dee adds, almost desperately and Roman’s knees really do go weak at that. A pretty man? Using that tone to address Roman? Roman’s surprised he’s still conscious at all. “Are you allergic to eggs? What about Wheat? Milk?”

“Deep breath, kiddos!” The person with the camera suggests, and Roman knows immediately that they are 100% aware that his flushed cheeks and lack of breath are not from an allergy. They take another picture and Roman dies a little more on the inside. 

“Please...don’t let... my brother see that,” Roman coughs one more time, “I’m begging.” 

The artist just laughs and takes another picture.

“No allergies?” The god beside him says and Roman finds him looking absolutely anywhere but at him. 

“No allergies,” Roman confirms, “None at all. It’s all good. And you know I should be--”

“What did you think of it?” The acrobat interrupts. And when Roman just blinks he snaps, “The cake, Princey! Tell Dee that the cake was fine and he can stop banging his head on the table now.”

Roman chances a glance at the man holding him up, and yeah, he could see the faint red marks were he had obviously been hitting his head on something. Unfortunately, said man was also looking at Roman, looking for his answer to the question that was just asked of him and Roman has already forgotten what it was again. 

His eyes were different colors, and that totally reminded Roman of that week in the summer when he hung around the ophthalmologist just outside of town. Roman had looked at a lot of eyes, learned a lot about eyes in that time, but really there was something different about those ones. One was a brilliant bright brown, like hickory and the other was glistening gold. He looked like something straight from a fantasy. 

Roman’s fantasy.

“Hey,” The stranger says softly, “Are you okay, darling?”

And that’s the last thing Roman remembers. 

Because he fainted.

Because the gorgeous, beautiful, ethereal stranger called him “darling” and Roman’s weak gay heart promptly shut off.

He comes to again, just a few minutes later-- long enough that his head is throbbing and his lungs hurt a bit and mere idea of moving sounds exhausting. He’s comfortable just fine where he is.

On the floor.

With his head in the perfect strangers lap.

“There you are,” The man gives him a nervous smile that makes Roman’s mouth dry out. “Do you remember where you are?”

“Heaven?”

Roman has many regrets in his life. Like that time he thought that crawling down the manhole would be fun. Or the weekend he spent hanging out in the courthouse, which had turned out to be incredibly boring. Or that time he brought dog treats to the dog park and ended up get ambushed by like seven dogs at once and broke his arm.

But this....answering that, and immediately hearing that all too familiar cackle that can only belong to Remus? Yeah Roman rates that at the top of Roman’s Regrets.

The stranger bites his lip but he’s grinning all the same. “Apologies. When you fainted we, called the emergency contact on your phone.”

“Remus is not my emergency contact,” Roman grumbles and weakly shuffles his limbs to sit up.

Remus wheezes, from where he’s situated with an arm over the artist and the acrobat respectively. “Like-- Hell! I changed that months ago!” Remus grins, “I wasn’t gonna miss a chance to laugh at you while you get carted away in an ambulance! You only die once Ro! I wanna be there for it!”

“I should have consumed you in the womb.”

“Butcha didn’t!”

“The intention was there.” Roman sways, and he really doesn’t like the way the floor shifts like waves of an ocean.

“Pussy,” Remus tosses out, just for the sake of having the last word. He pulls his arms back from around the other two and fusses with the little artist’s hair. “Alright, brats! That’s my cue to drag my dumbass gay twin away before he faints again. But this was fun! Lets do it again! This time Dee can even let Roman actually fall and crack his head on the floor instead of catching him!”

Roman’s ears burn, and he peeks at Dee with a morbid mortification, “You caught me?”

“Well I was already, holding you up so it wasn’t as much as caught you as you...ah,” there’s a twitch of his lips, “as you fell for me.”

The noise Roman makes is not in any way, shape, or form flattering. 

Remus cackles again.

There’s a click and a giggle, “Sorry kiddo! That was just too good to pass up!” The artist bounces slightly. “You both should definitely come back though! We’d love to have the company!”

“No, we wouldn’t,” the acrobat interjects, and lets out a heavy breath when he’s elbowed by his friend. 

“Yes, we would!” The artist says. “And next time you can even have some of Dee’s pastries!”

“That’s not necessary,” The stranger says quickly, “They aren’t that good--”

“Will you stop lying!” the acrobat says, “You literally got into this prestigious ass school for your pastries, dumbass. They’re good. Accept it already! Geez!”

The stranger rubs his neck and then his cheek, before turning back to Roman. “Perhaps you can be the judge of that then? Darling?” 

Yeah, Roman’s knees are weak again, but he’s stubborn enough that he keeps standing. “I think I’d like that. Although, I can’t say I’m any kind of pastry expert.” 

“We all have our faults, I presume.”

Roman’s heart beats a little faster. “And admittedly I will be a little bit bias.”

“A little bit?”

“Only a smidge,” Roman reports, “I’ve heard that good company can affect the taste of food.”

“You intend to be in good company?”

“If it’s yours I’m sure it will be.”

“Who knew there was a smooth talker under that blush of yours?”

“If you think this was smooth you should see--

Remus claps his hands loudly enough to make the acrobat flinch and Logan in the corner curse in Korean. “Okay yes we get it: You both are gayyyyyy!” Remus exclaims, drawing it out just enough that Roman feels a bit of the Cain Instinct(tm) in him rise up. “But if neither of you are going to start undressing to give the rest of us a show, then we need to go!”

“Remus!” 

“I’m just saying!” Remus shrugs and then hooks an arm around Roman’s neck and pulls him towards the door, “Its not fair to the rest of us, if you keep being a tease!”

“I hope you step on a lego and fall into a pit of sharks.”

Remus messes with his hair, which seems to be his thing right now.

The others in the room call out their goodbyes, and Remus drags Roman away before he can get more than a sloppy wave. Its still embarrassing.

Actually everything that happened was embarrassing, from top to bottom, and there was absolutely no moment were it wasn’t completely mortifying. Not only did he choke on a piece of cake he didn’t even get to taste, but he gay panicked, and then gay fainted, and every second of it was recorded via camera snapshots. And late at night, when Roman is turning it over in his head and screaming into a pillow, he barely notices his phone flashing.

He’s already miserable, because they probably just invited him back to be nice, and he didn’t even know their names. And Remus was still laughing at him for everything, and everything just really sucked. He opens up his phone to check the message, ignoring the way the his screen burns his eyes.

There’s a text message. 

An actual text message.

Stole your number hope you dont mind

Roman can’t breath. The phone in his hand vibrates again.

Oh and your heart. I stole that too. this is a ransom demand.

$40,000 in cash. Or a date to the coffee shop in town.

pls?

this is Dee Ekans btw

The baker?

oh fuck pls tell me this is the right number

roman?

And Roman rolls over and presses his face into a pillow and screams. 

But really the point of all this is that Roman got the number of the cute guy. And maybe a date.

[krowfics]

Logan’s Problem

Fandom: Sander Sides

Ship: romantic logince, platonic analogical

Plot: Logan was in love, this is a problem. He’s not going to tell Roman, of course.

Words: 2,586

Notes: Highschool AU, Virgil is into minorly illegal things (graffiti), there's a slightly nsfw joke(?), discussions of diet and food, misunderstandings (it’s pretty brief), kissing

~~~

Logan had a problem.

Frankly, he had lots of problems everyday but none were actually ‘real’ problems per say. He had plenty of math problems that equations and formulas could fix. He had problems with the classmates he tutored as their problems became his own. He had a problem when one of said classmates needed to cheat due to being unable to pass otherwise, not for lack of effort on Logan's behalf or their own of course, and Logan had almost gotten caught sneaking a picture of the answer key from the teacher's paperwork.

He had problems, he'd had some bigger problems in the past, but none can compare to this.

Logan was in love.

He didn't come upon this purely on his own, he did need to credit his local emo for planting the idea in his head.

It was a brisk night, but nothing too chilly, still that hadn't stopped Virgil from wearing his regular hoodie, it only encouraged him considering the fact that he usually wore it even on the hottest of days. Logan watched him as the delinquent sprayed the school's brick wall with fresh paint.

"He's infuriating." Logan said.

"Tell me about it." Virgil was clearly preoccupied with his piece.

Logan hastily ran his fingers through his hair, almost knocking off his glasses but not caring. "He just-" He sighed, "He's smart, and yet he's an idiot. He's an oxymoron! Schrodinger's cat but if the cat was some majestic beast who was both simultaneously perfect and flawed in the worst ways."

"Mm." Virgil hummed.

"I mean, for example," He began, "He works out everyday, he has a strict schedule of alternating which parts of the body to focus on which days to allow proper muscle growth and avoid unnecessary pains, something I do as well, but! He also spontaneously gets ice cream when out with the theater club! I've no problem with eating ice cream, obviously, but I'm not trying to be that toned."

"You got a thing for muscles, huh?" The emo cocked his head.

Logan felt his face flush with pure heat, "Ah- er- no. No." He stuttered out in response, "I mean, yes. But no. That has nothing to do with my point. My point! Is that he's somehow figured out how exactly to do spontaneous things like that without ruining the ability of others being able to see his abs by the next day- Abs are hard to retain is what I’m saying."

Virgil laughed, spinning on his heel to look at his friend, "Ignoring everything you just said about abs." He tried and failed to stifle another laugh, "We're talking about a boy who confused a frog for a turtle."

"I know!" Logan said far too dramatically but he didn't pay any mind, "And yet he aced the last biology quiz!"

Virgil blinked, "Did he cheat?"

"No." Logan waved his hand with a sigh, "I checked, besides, he cares too much about ‘honor’ to do that."

Virgil twisted his face at that, a clear grimace of disgust, "He's a goody two shoes. You have a crush on a goody two shoes. Gross."

"It's not-" Logan stopped himself, it only took one strong stare from Virgil for the truth to spill, "Holy shit, it is a crush."

Virgil stepped over to pat his back halfheartedly, "There, there."

"Okay but! Everyone in the school has a crush on him."

"I don't!" He defended.

"You did."

"I did." He conceded.

"Exactly." Logan said, "I'm not special, I'm just one of the many onlookers. Besides, it's to be expected that I am... attracted to him. He's physically fit and otherwise conventionally attractive, and very good at make up when he wears it for productions and he's kind to strangers and holds open the door when a teacher asks me to carry an absurd amount of paperwork and he usually offers help with that smile. You know that smile, right? That he gives and it's like it triggers a panic attack but good?"

"I think you're in love."

"I'm not!" He gasped.

"You are."

"I'm not."

Virgil stared at him with a deadpan look for a long moment before shoving his spray paint cans into his backpack, Logan glanced up and vaguely acknowledged that it was done and was an impressive work of art as usual. "Uh-huh." Virgil said, occupied with taking a picture of the graffiti with his phone.

"I'm not."

He was.

He was in love with Roman Prince.

This was a problem.

This problem became significantly more apparent when he ran into the boy in question at school, or rather, Roman ran into him. Literally.

He’d turned a corner, perhaps a bit too quickly and definitely too distracted by the sheer amount of papers he had in his hold. It was at moments like these that he almost regretted being such a teacher's pet, almost but not quite. it did have its perks along with its downsides, he wasn't exactly sure which one crashing into the other student was. 

He had yelped and dropped nearly everything, losing his own balance along with the papers. Luckily he was caught and held up by a strong arm, unluckily, being caught made him drop the final pages he’d managed to hold on to. He and Roman stared at each other for a long moment, Logan was almost certain he hadn’t breathed and his face flushed an embarrassing color. Roman had righted him but hadn’t let go of his arm yet, “Are you alright, Specs?”

“Uh- erm, yes.” He readjusted his glasses, both as a way to try and distract himself from his blush and to actually fix his glasses as they were skewed from the collision, “My apologies, I wasn't looking at where I was going.”

“Oh no, that’s on me.” Roman said, only then letting go of the other’s arm and Logan tried to not be disappointed at the loss of contact with the other student, “Don’t tell anyone but I may or may not have been running in the halls.”

Logan looked around, “Well, there’s no hall monitors or teachers in view so I could hardly blame you for trying to travel quicker.”

“What’s this?” Roman laughed, “Is the teacher’s pet encouraging rule breaking? How scandalous.”

Logan rolled his eyes with a smirk, “I can assure you, my loyalty to the staff is a purely fabricated illusion.” And that probably something he shouldn't say. It definitely wasn’t something he’d say to just anyone, really only Virgil and a good few of the more trusted classmates he tutors knew that he wasn’t actually fond of the teachers, it’s easier to break rules when teachers think you couldn’t lie to save your life, but Roman wasn’t just anybody, was he? Logan turned, hoping what he’d just said hadn’t been a blunder, and stared at the floor with a sigh. 

He crouched down to start restacking the pile, thank fuck they were all copies of the same page and thus didn’t need to be in order. Roman joined him on the floor, “So, to which teacher do we owe the pleasure?”

“Mrs. Libelle.” 

“That fiend.”

Logan snorted at that, “If you’re in a hurry, I can handle this.” he offered.

“Are you kidding?” Roman gawked, “First of all, what kind of gentleman would I be if I did not help a nerd in need?”

Logan refused to acknowledge his returning blush, he instead squinted at Roman and opened his mouth to respond but was quickly cut off.

“Second of all,” He continued, “This is like a thousand pages to many for one person. And third of all, I have nowhere that I need to be in a rush, I’m just impatient.”

“I see,” Logan said, gathering a few more stray pages, “In that case, thank you.”

“No problem, Nerdy Wolverine, it was mostly my fault anyway.”

“Agree to disagree,” Logan replied instead of addressing that nickname.

Once all the papers were picked up and Logan had to watch Roman stretch up to release tension in his back, and no, don’t stare at his stomach Logan. An inch or so was revealed when his shirt was lifted with the stretch, it’s just a stomach, stop staring.

Logan cleared his throat and reached for Roman’s stack, “Thank you for the help, now I’ll be on my wa-”

“Ah ah ah!” Roman leaned away, taking the stack of papers with him, “Lead the way, Pocket Protector.”

Logan stared for a moment, but didn’t argue. He started walking and the other followed, “I’m not even wearing a shirt with a pocket to be protected let alone a pocket protector itself.”

Roman snorted, “Whatever, Nerd.”

Logan failed to suppress a smile, “You have used that one already in this conversation.” He pointed out, “I thought you were more creative than that.”

Roman gasped, “Oh, how you wound me!” he said overzealously.

The nerd in question just rolled his eyes.

“I was going to call you dork, but Remus told me what that word came from the other day and I can't stop thinking about it.” Roman faked a gag.

“Ah yes, plenty of curses have odd origins that have little to no resemblance to its in current use,” Logan said, turning a corner and glancing over to see Roman still following, “But I do understand being disturbed by whale penis.”

Roman gawked, “By the stars! Not you too- How do you know that?”

Logan stopped as he reached his designation and spun on his heel to look at the other boy, “I’m a nerd.”

“Yeah yeah,” Roman shifted his grip and stepped past Logan to open the door that was already slightly ajar.

“Oh you don’t…” Logan started but trailed off at Roman’s raised eyebrow, “Thanks.” He said instead of finishing, ducking his head as he walked into the room.

Logan spotted a clear enough spot at a desk and set his pile there. This was just the first stop however, Mrs. Libelle had instructed him to bring half the copies to Ms. Leading’s office and the others to Mr. Sanders, because Logan was just her loyal dog, apparently. He sighed and walked up to Roman, who was standing there, looking like he was waiting for instructions. Which was kind of cute.

“Thank you for helping me,” He found himself struggling with eye contact, “I can carry the rest on my own, so you can head out now.” He reached for the stack and Roman pulled it away from him for the second time today.

Logan looked up to see Roman staring at him quizzically, “Do you want me to leave?”

“What? No,” Logan blinked, “I don’t want you to- No, you can do whatever you’d like.”

“Woah, hey, it’s okay Nerd.” Roman said, causing Logan to notice the tension in his shoulders, “I did something wrong, right? I’m a dumbass, I say the wrong things all the time. I’d like to know what I did but you don’t have to tell me, it’s okay-”

“Oh my god, you’re an idiot.” Logan breathed.

Roman tilted his head, which was absolutely adorable, “Thank you?”

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose, “You haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t- I don’t want you to leave.” Logan sighed, mostly at himself, and looked at the other man. He tried desperately not to let his face flush but it didn't really matter right now. He’d make Roman think he’d done something wrong, and that chivalrous bastard wasn’t even pushing for an explanation. Honestly, he was too nice, too perfect for his own good. “My apologies,” Logan started, “It had been brought to my attention that I... retain romantic feelings for you, and it has made me anxious, I suppose. So I attempted to have you leave quickly. I’d understand if you'd like to leave now if knowing this makes you at all uncomfortable.”

The other boy blinked at him, “Simplify, please, Nerd.” He said very quietly, as if he was already aware of what Logan said but wanted to make sure.

Logan cleared his throat and readjusted his glasses, which probably didn’t need the readjusting at all this time, “I have a crush on you.” he clarified quietly, “And I’m not confessing, really, just giving an explanation for my behavior. Thank you for the help. You may leave.”

“You like me?”

Logan nodded, “This can’t be much of a surprise.”

Roman shook his head, “Did you not just call me an idiot?”

Logan’s eyes widened, “I assure you, I meant no negative connotations-”

“Chillax, Nerd.” Roman waved a hand, unknowingly giving Logan a moment to decipher whatever ‘chillax’ means before, “I like you too.”

And that left Logan reeling. Because no. No? How? Roman was the high school’s pretty boy, their prince, their designated hot guy with abs. How does the hot guy with abs like him back? There must’ve been a miscommunication. Somehow.

“Come again?” Was all he managed.

But Roman smiled and Logan’s heart went from beating out of his chest to figuratively soaring, “I like you too. Or uh, I retain romantic feelings for you too.” He chuckled.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Well, this was unexpected, “What do we do now?” Logan said, more to himself than the other.

Roman shrugged, “What do you want to do?”

“I honestly never planned to get this far.”

Roman huffed out a laugh, stepping around to the desk so that he could set his pile down next to Logan’s, “Well,” He said, making his way back to the student, “I could kiss you.”

“I-” Logan felt like a metaphorical deer in the headlights, but in a good way? If that was even remotely logical, which it wasn’t, “I wouldn’t be opposed.” His voice came out a whisper.

To that, Roman reached up and gently cupped his cheeks. Roman’s eyes flicked down to Logan’s lips and Logan found his eyes doing much of the same.

The kiss was soft, absolutely nothing like he’d expected from the student before him, but not bad in the slightest. It was short, too short, Logan found, so he took to pulling Roman back in only a moment after the first ended.

Roman pulled back again, rubbing Logan’s cheek gently with his thumb as he did so. He smiled so warmly, Logan thought he’d melt. 

“And…” Logan vaguely noted that he probably sounded a bit out of it, “What do we do now?” he smiled at the other.

“Hm.” Roman hummed, “Ice cream?”

“Ice cream sounds good.” Logan agreed. He had a date. A date with Roman Prince. “But, papers.”

“Papers?”

“Papers.” He pulled away begrudgingly. He grabbed half the papers and went for the door, stopping only for a moment, “I'll be right back.” He then slipped out the door and speed walked to the other teacher’s classroom. Mr. Sanders was there and had made small talk that Logan managed to survive. He was gone as quickly as he arrived, rushing back to Roman and finding him just stepping out of the door of the room he was left in.

Roman grinned when he saw Logan approach, he reached for Logan’s face again once he was in range. He pulled him in for another kiss, something Logan could hardly argue against, “Ice cream now?” Roman asked, face still impossibly close to the other’s.

Logan nodded slightly, “Yes.” finding his hand in Roman’s a moment later, being pulled down the hallway. Roman’s unabashedly happy smile was sure to match his own.

So, maybe this wasn’t a problem after all.

~~~

This is actually a fully fleshed out au that i will probably write more of, idk- no promises

my,, hyperfixation on health and exercise kinda slipped into this one? im sorry, i don’t know what happened, but Logan likes muscles i guess asjkdkls

also i do not know how american high schools work at all, i was homeschooled so im going off fanfics and anime (which doesnt help with the american thing-)

[purplesurveys]

1250

Do you own any Funko Pop! figurines?  No. I had a brief period where I wanted to start collecting them SO BAD and often went to toy stores to gawk at the figures I felt like I needed to have; but I grew out of that and I don’t even really give Funkos a second glance whenever I see them anymore haha.

How many cats and dogs have you had as pets in your lifetime?  We’ve had one cat and two dogs.

Can your mom and/or dad play any instruments, or how about anyone else in your family?  My dad can play the guitar; he just absolutely never shows it off, not even if you lay out ten guitars in front of him. I think my mom played the piano as a kid.

Have you ever colored in an adult coloring book as a stress reliever?  Yeah, it was my coping mechanism from a few years ago. I don’t do it nearly as often anymore, but I still have my coloring books and pencils stored in my room just in case I randomly want to get back to the hobby.

Can you crack crab legs without a tool?  No, I ask my parents or grandparents to do it haha.

How many light sources are in the room you’re in?  There are two, but I only use one. I never switch on my main bedroom light as I hate how brightly white it is.

What’s your favorite thing to put on bagels?  I never get bagels so I don’t really have a clue what I prefer on them.

Who’s your favorite director?  Stanley Kubrick.

Bats: cute or gross?  Neither side of the spectrum; I just don’t think about bats.

What was the last really intense pain you felt?  I got a particularly vicious scratch from Cooper around a month ago that left a deep cut on my thigh. The scar is still visible and I think it’s going to remain that way for a while haha I don’t see it fading out anytime soon.

Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake?  Both sound extremely pleasant but I’ll take the lake trip because I’ve never seen one, or stayed near one.

How would you feel about traveling abroad alone?  I honestly feel like it’s going to be that way for me moving forward. I’m okay with it, though. I feel like it would be very calming and empowering to be able to explore the world on my own.

What is your father's middle name?  He doesn’t have a second name.

Where did your last kiss take place?  Outside my house, by her car.

Which movie villain do you find the most terrifying?  I haven’t encountered anyone yet that truly terrified me.

If you married your favorite celebrity what would your last name be?  Kim, hahaha.

Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures?  I wouldn’t say so. I pull up the peace sign most often.

Which one of your family members are you closest to?  My sister and my eldest cousin on my mom’s side.

Would you rather have name brand shoes or name brand clothes?  Shoes. They stand out more.

Are you a good liar?  Yes. Doesn’t mean I enjoy lying and take advantage of that skill as much as possible.

Are you proud of your parents?  Sure.

If you could get backstage tickets to ANY concert - which would you pick?  Paramore. I think Hozier would be neat as fuck too.

Which is better: orange or grape soda?  I don’t like soda, so neither.

Was the last thing you ate hot or cold?  They are meant to be consumed while hot.

Who was the last person in your house who isn’t family?  Angela and Hans.

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Pink.

Can you remember the last song you listened to?  I just tuned into a random lo-fi playlist, so I’m not familiar with the tracks and the artists who made them.

Have you ever been dumped really harshly?  Yes.

Can you do a back flip, or anything else of that sort?  Nope.

Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore?  To a considerable extent.

What happened to cause you to feel that way about them?  She is extremely selfish and the biggest coward I’ve ever met.

Are you more of a phone or a computer person?  Laptop.

Do you have a job, and if so, where do you work?  Yeah, I work at a PR firm.

If not, do you want one?   

Do any medical afflictions run in your family? I know hypertension is kind of a thing on my mom’s side, but I don’t know if there are any other conditions I should know about. 

What’s your favorite Mexican dish?  Burritos and enchiladas.

Have you ever been to a professional sports game?  No, just collegiate-league ones.

Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else?  I use pads. I’ve never used a tampon or any other product, so there’s no basis for me to make a comparison and establish preferences.

Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? Yeppp, I got a customized cake for my birthday.

What months were you and your siblings born in?  My brother and I were born in April; my sister was born in September.

What did you have for dinner last night?  Barbecue chicken.

Have you ever had sex in/on a vehicle?  In, yes. Do people have sex ON cars??????

Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows?  I will shave extremely occasionally. Otherwise no, I don’t touch them.

Has your town ever flooded?  This time of the year, always.

Have you ever played at the McDonald’s play place?  Yup. I preferred Burger King’s playplace, though; it was lesser-known so there were fewer kids I was forced to play with.

Have you ever taken a picture of snow?  I’ve never even seen it.

Do you cry easily?  I can.

Are you happy with where you live?  It’s quiet and safe, which is nice; but I think at this point I would be a lot happier and would be able to grow a lot if I moved to a big city.

Do people ever mistake you for being a different race?  Not really; but as a general thought, it is an extremly big pet peeve when people only take into account East Asians when the topic of Asia comes up.

Do you hate the last person you kissed?  I don’t hate her. But I can’t stand her.

What genre is your favorite movie?  Drama, romance, a hint of comedy.

Who was the last person you were in a car with?  My mom and my siblings.

Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card?  Yeah haha. I was allowed to smile on my license, so at least my photo doesn’t look gloomy.

When was the last time somebody hit on you?  Hasn’t happened in a while.

Was the last person you met a male or female?  For the first time? She’s a girl.

What brand is your underwear?  I don’t remember the name anymore.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food?  I don’t celebrate that.

Do you have a TV in your room?  Nah. I don’t really watch the TV anymore, and using the living room TV to watch YouTube videos is enough for me.

Are any of your electronics charging right now?  My laptop is constantly plugged in. My speaker is also charging at the moment.

What was the last video game you played?  I have no clue, it’s been forever.

What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it?  That they’ll always stay. I didn’t make her keep it; I was the one who moved on.

Google, Bing, or Yahoo?  Google.

What was the last song you had on repeat?  It’s been a while since I set a song on repeat. Maybe Film Out? If not that, maybe UGH!

Who is your favorite person to watch on YouTube?  Rhett and Link or the Try Guys.

How many college degrees do you want?  I’m okay with the one I have.

Can you wink?  Yeah, but I’m substantially better at winking with my right eye than my left.

Do you own any jerseys?  I don’t think so.

Have you ever tried to snort Pixie Stix as a child, or even an adult?  No. I don’t even think I’ve had it ever.

Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake?  I’ve never been to a baby shower. Not a thing here.

Has there ever been a time in your life, you felt sexually undecided?  I still am. I’m not bothered about it, though. Sex and who I have it with aren’t things I spend much time thinking about.

Do you think tattoos and piercings are sexy on the opposite sex?  Depends. It certainly suits some people better.

Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish?  No...I am the short person asking for help :)))))))

What color are the headphones you have at this moment in time?  I have black ones but I literally just took them off five minutes ago so I can transfer my music to the speaker I mentioned earlier.

Ever choked severely on something during lunch at your school?  I don’t think so.

Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie?  VEGETABLES. I love green beans, eggplants, and bell peppers the most. I can’t stand fruits, with the one exception of avocados.

What would you say is the color of your favorite bra?  Black.

Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway?  I don’t think so. 

What do you usually buy when you go to the dollar store?  We don’t have a dollar store, and that should be self-explanatory hah.

Ever peed in the pool? Be honest!  God no. That’s gross.

When you’re older, what kind of house do you want to live in?  Something modern and minimalist.

Where do you want to get married?  Idk, I’m pretty traditional when it comes to this. Booking an events place would be ideal for me; the only thing on my wishlist would probably be the fact that I hope my wedding could be held somewhere cold, like Baguio.

Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding?  Uh yeah, sure.

What is your favorite childhood TV show? Spongebob.

Honestly, do you like school?  I liked it when I was granted more freedom to do things my own way, which is to say I really enjoyed college. But I didn’t mind school for the most part, especially since it meant being able to see my friends everyday.

Last thing that made you cry?  I was listening to a song that resonated a lot with me at that moment.

Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now?  Nothing too big or life-changing to someone if they ever found out.

Last person you took a walk with?  Idk, that’s not an activity I tend to do with other people.

Have you ever liked someone who didn’t like you back? No.

Who was the last person to actually pick you up in the air?  My ex, probably.

Does any part of your body hurt?  My shoulders are constantly hurting these days. I really need to buy a new work chair :( 

If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a regret what would you do?  Million bucks. Easiest choice.

Can you keep a secret?  Sure.

Your favorite romantic movie?  The Proposal.

How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? I honestly like it, and I celebrated it when I was able to.

Who was the last person you took a picture with?  My sister and I took a silly selfie earlier.

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?  Some of the pairs I have do, but they’re meant to be ripped jeans.

Do you celebrate 420? Nope.

Have you ever kicked a vending machine?  I don’t think so. I barely use them.

How do you eat Oreos?  I just bite into them. No patience do the whole twist-lick thing. Sometimes I’ll dip them in milk, if we happen to have some.

Do you wear your shoes in the house?  That is a big no-no.

Would you survive in prison?  I might not.

Ever been to Georgia?  No for both state and country.

Do you get your hair cut every month?  No, just once a year. Which reminds me, I finalllllllly had my hair trimmed yesterday hahaha I got sick of my long-ass hair, which was starting to feel like a bitch to maintain. It’s only up to my shoulders now.

Current relationship in detail.  I am single...nothing much to share about it. I get to enjoy to spend my money on myself, which is my favorite part about it hahaha.

If you were kicked out of your house, who would you call/go to?  My grandma.

List things you spend money on in an average week.  Food delivery and nearly every week, merch. I’ve considerably calmed down on the latter, though.

Rate each of your sexual partners (if any) from 1-10.  I’ve only had one...I guess I’d give her a 9. A bit TMI but the oral could’ve been a little better.

Post the last FB group/page that you joined.  I was looking for FB groups for a work deliverable, but I had to join one of them to give it a better scan. I don’t remember which group it had been, though.

Would you parents be mad if you were in a relationship?  No. If they did, I would be very surprised they would still be meddling with a 23 year old’s life.

Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you?  I’m sure.

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to?  I’m not now, so no.

What board games are you good at?  I’m quite terrible at all of them, tbh. It’s why I’ve always preferred to simply watch over my friends when they do play board or card games.

Is there a sport/hobby you keep thinking about taking up, but that you’ve never quite gotten around to starting?  Wakeboarding. Do you think pranks like egging/toilet-papering someone's house are funny or immature?  Immature.

Do you think “sleeve tattoos” are a good idea?  I’m not totally obsessed with the idea, but they do look good on people.

Is there anything in particular that your parents argue about? What? I don’t know. 100% of the time they are caused by my grown-ass mother throwing a petty-ass tantrum, so I could not care less about the things they fight about. 

Do you ever actually read the “Terms and Services” when you sign up for websites and such?  Nah.

If you have a handheld games console (a DS or GameBoy, for example), how often do you use it?  I haven’t used the Switch since last year.

Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, what do you say?  Pick it up and wait for them to talk.

If your best friend was kicked out, would your parents let him/her live with you?  Probably not, knowing my mom – but I would do absolutely anything else to help.

Are you afraid of falling in love?  I guess you can say that, yeah. I’m not headed towards that feeling again anytime soon, though.

Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now?  I wish I was with my friends now.

Have you ever kissed someone & wished you didn’t?  No.

Did you get kissed last night?  Nope.

Do you enjoy going through a carwash?  Idk, I’ve never taken my car to one. That’s something my parents take charge of.

How did you get most of your scars?  Cooper.

Ever had to take an inkblot test? I haven’t.

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do?  Sure. Like back in high school when a group of friends had been caught cheating on our chemistry exam – and we were told that the entire batch would be given a formal warning. I was on the minority side that found the entire situation hilarious, because I know they wouldn’t dare mar the records of everyone else who took that stupid test honestly.

Have you ever seriously slapped someone in anger?  My brother, only because he put his hands on me first.

What/who woke you up this morning?  Just me.

Who was the last person to be in your bedroom besides you?  My mom, who always goes in there without knocking/warning.

What’s one of your locked text messages?  I don’t lock my texts and I’m not sure if that’s an available feature on my phone.

Have you ever finished a game of Monopoly?  I don’t even know how that game works lol.

Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed?  Yes.

The truth all comes out when someone is drunk, true?  I mean for the most part, yeah. It’s easier to be honest with a few drinks in you. 

When was the last time you felt disappointed in yourself?  Continued from the other day. Last week when I forgot about a virtual meeting and attended it 15 minutes after it started.

How about feeling disappointed in someone else?  Last Friday when I had to watch my dad treat a service crew member like shit.

For you, do you commonly feel more jealousy or envy?  Envy, I think. I don’t really feel jealous.

Do you rely on the heads/tails flipping of a coin sometimes for decisions?  Nope, but close. I’ll do eenie-meenie sometimes haha

Do you have any specific chores you do around the house?  Nothing I’m required to do but sometimes I’ll offer to wash the dishes or fold laundry.

For you, does comfort or fashion come first in dressing?  It’s like 70% fashion, 30% comfort. Looking nice makes me feel more comfortable lol.

Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other?  Not each other; the dislike was one-sided. Gabie hated Andi for whatever reason, which in hindsight already should’ve been a red flag.

Do you like Laffy Taffy?  No, I’ve never had one.

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners?  Manual, only because I’ve never seen, much less use, an electric one.

Are your biceps at all noticeable?  Nah.

Have you ever seen a walrus?  It’s possible, but I don’t have very good memories of it if I have seen one.

Did you ever have one of those Easy Bake ovens as a kid?  Not a popular toy here.

Does your bathroom have a theme to it?  It doesn’t. I think that would be a little tacky tbh.

From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside?  Three. We have doors in the kitchen, dining room, and our main door by the living room.

Are there a lot of trees in your yard?  Not really.

Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap?  Yes.

Have a best friend?  Yup.

Does it bother you when your best friend does stuff without you?  No? That’s pretty petty. Both Angela and Andi have big circles of friends and that would be stressful on my end if I made a fuss every time they hung out with anyone that isn’t me lol.

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents?  A bunch. I don’t count them as confidantes.

Does anyone hate you? It’s possible but I don’t care enough to want to know.

What’s the one thing you regret more than anything?  Not breaking up with Gabie earlier, even though all the red flags were there.

Do you remember important dates?  For the most part, yeah.

What’s some lyrics from a song that means a lot to you?  “Dream, may all of creation be with you til the end of your life Dream, wherever you are, will welcome you Dream, may your trials end in full bloom Dream, though your beginnings might be humble, may the end be prosperous.”

Who gives the best advice?  Andi. They’re able to tell me advice I don’t want to hear but am supposed to be hearing, which I appreciate.

Who do you usually see in your dreams? :)  It’s a random cast every time.

What type of cake did you last eat?  It was carrot cake with a really good cream cheese frosting.

How many of your friends are gay or bisexual?  Almost all of them are...it’s easier to count friends who are straight.

What’s your favorite type of sandwich?  Anything with pulled pork in it tbh.

When was the last time someone asked you out? Did you accept or decline?  I’ve never been asked out.

Do you like The Offspring?  I know a couple of songs but I definitely can’t call myself a fan.

One pillow or two?  Two.

Do you like Mad Libs?  I’ve never tried playing it.

Are you suicidal?  Not lately. I haven’t been for a while, actually. I’m really happy about that.

Where do your grandparents live?  My paternal grandparents live in the south. My maternal grandma lives in the village right next to ours haha, so not far away at all.

Do you cut yourself?  Yeesh. Can’t questions like this come with a trigger warning? Anyway, no I haven’t in a while as well.

What is your pet’s name?  Kimi and Cooper.

Have you ever been to Canada? No, but I'd love to visit. < Same!

Aren’t babies overrated?  I think they are overrated in a sense that everyone always seems to want one of their own, but the circle gets extremely smaller when it comes to those who actually have the capacity to take proper care of an infant.

Have a built-in pool in your backyard?  No.

Ever won yourself a stuffed animal? Sure, in like claw games and whatnot.

Ever had someone else win you a stuffed animal?  No. I don’t really like stuffed toys lol.

Ever been to a circus?  Nope.

Ever shot animals? I have not.

Do you consider yourself intelligent?  I guess I’m booksmart more than anything else. I had good grades and can handle myself in arguments and debates...but I have my weaknesses in other aspects too, like street smarts lol.

Have you ever run away from home?  I had a period when I wanted to, but never pushed through with it.

Do you put family first, friends, relationships, school, or something else?  Work > friends > family.

What’s something you’ve stood up for in the past?  I always shoot my mom a glare as if to say “be careful of the line you’re crossing” whenever she makes a homophobic, sexist, or racist remark.

What’s something you worked extremely hard to get?  The healthy and stable mental disposition I find myself in these days. I would never give it up for anything ever again.

Are you satisfied with your body image?  I mean not fully, but I also don’t have any complaints.

Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory?  I’ve been called a bitch by this girl that was just a terror to be classmates with back in middle school. She was known to a big war freak and had her fair share of behavioral/anger issues, so it didn’t really affect me once I knew I was her next target. I didn’t encounter her again until college when we ended up attending the same university, and she’s changed a lot for the better.

Have you ever seriously taken advantage of someone or been taken advantage of?  The former, no. Yes to the latter.

Have you ever been seriously ill?  My fever last year really felt like the end of me lmao, so I guess yeah. 

Have you ever befriended a former enemy?  She wasn’t an enemy per se, but I just found myself immensely irritated by Sofie during our first few meetings; but then she ended up being one of my best friends for a time

If you’re not religious, would you ever pray as a last resort? If you are religious, do you often pray for other people?  I did in the past. I wouldn’t do so these days.

Have you ever dated someone, then after you dated they came out of the closet or switched (for lack of a better word) sexual orientation?  That hasn’t happened to me.

Has a boy/girl ever walked a ridiculous distance just to see you? How about vice versa?  I think once? My ex was brewing a surprise for me for Valentine’s Day last year and to cut the long story short, she essentially walked a crazy long distance in my school to make the surprise a success. My university is huge and even I prefer to take my car whenever I have to go from one building to another, so I definitely saw the effort she had put in.

When was the last time you felt really uncomfortable?  Right now. It’s really humid and my electric fan isn’t really doing anything to curb the heat :/

Is there anything that your mom is really known for as to how she is as a person?  She is very uptight.

Who have you been talking to the most today?  My co-workers, albeit virtually.

Are you nosy?  Nah. I won’t really press and will wait for people to open up.

What’s the meanest thing you have done to a friend?  I don’t do mean things to my friends.

If your ex called you crying, what would it most likely be about?  Fuck if I know. Her pride is way up in the sky for her to do something like this.

Who was the best kisser out of all the people you have kissed?  I’ve only kissed one person.

Have you ever been told that you have an annoying laugh?  I don’t think so. It would be etched in my head if I was ever told this.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #402

“there’s a space kept in hell with your name on the seat  /  with a spike in the chair just to make it complete”

Have you ever had any really infected injuries? Not an injury, per se, but I've had at least one ear piercing get infected during the healing process. Shit sucks ass. Are you popular on any websites? No. What was the last song you listened to? "Savior" by SWARM. Are you considered popular at school? I wasn't. If you could host your own talk show, would you do it? No. I've got nothing interesting to talk about. If you were starving would you eat food out of a garbage can? I honestly don't know if I could with how squeamish I am about sharing food, even with family. And we're talking about sharing food that's been in the TRASH. Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? I do. Which one of your senses would you be the most devastated to lose? I THINK hearing. I hate silence, so that would just be... haunting. I want to be able to hear people's voices and other sounds. Do you know anyone who has been on life support, and survived? I have no idea. Do your parents have a strong relationship together? God no. They're divorced for a reason. Have you ever read any of Charles Darwin’s works? No. If there was such a thing as a mental health first aid kit, what would you want to be in it? Some ice cream and a Mountain Dew bc I'm an emotional eater, my "graduation" pebble from my partial hospitalization program to remember how far I've come, some cold water to run over my face (or drink), my iPod for music and phone to watch YouTube, a nice, big blanket to turn into a burrito in... that kind of stuff. If you’re in a relationship, are you happy? And if you’re single, are you looking for someone? I'm not actively searching for anyone, no. What is something that people make fun of you for? Always being on the computer. It makes me EXTREMELY self-conscious, and I really wish people would keep their mouths shut about it. Which supermarket do you like to shop at? Wal-Mart. Have you ever been told that your boyfriend/girlfriend wasn’t good enough for you? In the past. Do you think it’s okay to flirt with someone that’s already taken, as long as it goes no further? Fuck no. Do you struggle to say ‘no’ to things you don’t want to do? YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP. Someone attractive is staring at you. What do you do? Probably just kinda smile and blush and look down/away. Are you friends with someone a lot of people dislike? *shrug* Favorite photo search engine? Tumblr for gifs, Google or Pinterest for still images, depending on what I'm looking for. Do you doggie paddle or actually swim in a pool? I'll do both, I think? It's been too long since I've swum. Ever made a snow angel? Ye-ep. Would you ever take up smoking? No. I like having operational lungs. Do you laugh at racial jokes? No. Hate to break it to ya, but they're not funny. Book series you enjoyed reading recently? I've been loving Wings of Fire by Tui T. Sutherland, even if I'm reading very slowly. My psychiatrist has given me a new way to approach my hobbies I have difficulty engaging in, so I'm hoping if I keep it up, my rate of reading will speed up! Are there any keys on your keyboard that have letters fading away? Ahaha, yeah... "a," "s," and "d." A true gamer. How "w" is still alive, I couldn't tell ya. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Sour Punch Straws, probably. The red ones, in specific. Last person you texted? My mom. What did you learn from your first job? That I can't work with people. Favorite website from your childhood? I was a Webkinz A D D I C T. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? Cranberry came to mind very quickly. Least favorite pattern? uhhhhhhh Favorite potato food? Either French fries or Lays wavy potato chips. PC or console gaming? I grew up as a console gamer, so I'm kinda biased. Writing or drawing? Don't make me choose!! I get more satisfaction out of drawing something I'm proud of, but I do way more writing. Who would you put before everyone else? My mom, probably. Lamps, overhead lights, fairy lights, or sunlight? Fairy lights are so cute. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? I shit you not, none. What is your third favourite colour? Hm. Maybe rose gold, or lilac. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I'm really not sure, but I WANT to say it was one of those slide-y, compact Blueberry ones? Who is your favourite character from Alice in Wonderland? The Cheshire Cat has always been very alluring to me. What is the last thing you looked up online? The definition to a word just to ensure I was using it correctly. Have you ever had your fortune read? No. I ain't wasting time or money on that shit. Can you read tarot cards? If you couldn't guess from above, I have zero faith in this kinda stuff, so I don't care to learn. Do you prefer lemons or limes? Lemons. I like lime flavoring in some stuff, though. Are your expecting anything in the mail? No. What would you like to see out of your window everyday instead of what you see now? The forest. Do you own a camera? I do, a Canon EOS Rebel T6. Have you ever written a special note in a book? Yes. Early into our relationship, Jason lent me a book to read, and I wrote a lil love letter in it for him. Do you have any artistic talents? I mean I like to think I'm a good writer and a decent artist. Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? Yeah, IT with Girt. It was fun because he's a horror pansy, haha. He did fine, though. What would you do if you found out you were pregnant? Freak the fuck out because I haven't had sex in many years, so that thing's coming the fuck out 'cuz it obviously ain't natural. Favorite thing to get at McDonalds? Look man, I'm shameless, I love me a Quarter Pounder w/ cheese. Plus some fries. :x Do you know anyone named Alex? I know multiple people named Alex, actually. Whose house did you last sleep over at? Sara's. In other words, it's been a loooong time.Would you ever record yourself having sex? God no. Like zero judgment to the people that do, but I get NOTHING out of watching others "do it." I've never actually tried watching porn, but I couldn't have less interest. I know I'd hate it, and a lot. Did the vacuum scare you as a child? I don't think it did, anyway. Have you or would you ever use a dating app? One of my most embarrassing secrets is that I was briefly on Christian Mingle. It makes me want to cringe into fucking oblivion. Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? My dad. He's... a character. What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? That time fucking flies, so cherish every millisecond. Do you and your friends ever talk about your sex lives? Not really. Even when I was sexually active, I was private about that stuff. I don't care if others talk to me about theirs, but odds are I'm not saying much about myself. What were the best and worst interviews you’ve ever had? What made them so good/bad? I've never had a bad interview, but I mean, I've only had I wanna say four in my whole life. None were anything special either, though. Ever put someone else in the hospital? No. Have you ever sold anything on eBay? If so, what? No. What is the best surprise you have ever had? Finding a container of puppy chow underneath the Christmas tree one year. It was my parents' way of telling me we were getting a dog (which I had been nagging them about FOREVER), and next came Teddy. <3 I miss my boy. Is someone in love with you? I wouldn't know. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Ever sleep with someone on the first date? That's a hard no. Do you wear cologne/perfume/aftershave regularly? No. Do you snore? No, actually. Pretty astonishing for someone with such severe sleep apnea. When is the last time someone else slept in your bed? When Sara last visited. How often do you dust? Not... nearly enough as I'm supposed to. Mom gets on me about it all the time. What is the most ‘extreme’ activity you have ever done? Ha, nothing wild, I assure you. I guess riding a four-wheeler through the woods once with our former neighbors, who were good friends of ours.. Have you ever rode on a mobility scooter/wheelchair just for fun? Um, no? That's a jackass thing to do. Some people actually need those. Who’s the most controlling person you know? OH MY FUCKING GOD. OUR FAMILY FRIEND TOBEY. EASILY. She seizes control of EVERY situation, even if she has no right to be involved in it. Does anyone keep a photo of you in their purse/wallet, and if so, who? Not to my knowledge. Do you own a microphone? No. Do you enjoy trailers at the cinema? I do! I like arriving in time to see them. Have you ever been burgled? No, thankfully. Have you ever entered anything into Urban Dictionary? If so, what? No. What’s the last live performance you watched on TV? No idea. Have you ever been embarrassed to buy something from a shop? Not to my recollection. It helps that I'm not the one buying things, like ever. What’s the name of one of your friends’ dogs? Buster! :') He's a precious lil bean. Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. A GIANT CENTIPEDE. That's one pet in the invert community that I have ZERO interest in EVER owning. Those bitches are scary. Have you ever needed to wear a tie? If so, when/why? Nope.

[keanureevesisbae]

“Never out of practice” - Chapter 2

Summary: When Darcie’s father loses an important case, a killer seeks revenge, by kidnapping the entire Angel family. Though John thought that he was officially retired, he has to save his Darcie and her family, because he can’t lose her.

A/N: this is one of my favorite chapters of this story. we get to know John a little bit better. Hope you love it as much as I do.

John Wick x OFC Darcie

Word count: 3.9k

Warnings: Smut 

Masterlist // Previous chapter //

John knew that one day, he was going to marry Darcie, but since they were taking it slow, he always thought that he’d propose to her in about two years of dating, maybe even more. He could’ve known that that would change.

Waking up to Darcie’s beautiful face every single morning, is the best way to start his days. One day she woke up before he did—usually on Sunday—and when he walked into the living room of her apartment, he saw her sitting on the floor in his oversized shirt, scratching Oreo’s belly, while Tiki was licking his face. She was giggling and John realized that he never wanted this dream to end.

John never thought he would find love again, but with Darcie, he got another chance and he was not going to let this slip through his fingers. He nearly lost her once, he is not losing her a second time.

Yesterday, when he took her father for a drive in the Mustang, he confessed how much he loved Darcie. Everyday he realized how lucky he was to be around her, to get to witness her kindness and be loved by her.

And then… he just did it.

He asked Christian for his blessing. John had yet to find a ring, he had yet to think about how he was going to propose to Darcie, but one thing he knew: he wants to spend the rest of his entire life with her.

Texting both of Darcie’s best friends the next day was the only logical thing to do. Since Jennie had to go to work, Raye decided to go with him for a first look for engagement rings.

‘I still can’t believe you’re going to propose,’ Raye says, as they walk to the jewelry store John really wanted to check out first. ‘This is beyond exciting!’

‘You really don’t think it’s too soon?’

‘No, I don’t think so. She is totally crazy about you. When you’re not in the cafe, we sometimes have to tape her mouth shut, because she simply can’t shut up about you. But, to ease your mind, mister Mustang, Jennie is going to ask her today what she thinks about marriage and stuff.’

‘You girls don’t talk about that?’

‘Barely, we mostly talk about food, because men are stupid and food is not.’ She looks up and pokes his side. ‘Well, you are an exception of course. We do talk a lot about you and especially your cute toosh.’

John’s cheeks burn. ‘Thank you, Raye.’ He opens the door for Raye and she squeals when she sees all the shiny diamonds as soon as she steps inside.

‘Right,’ she reminds herself, ‘we’re here to look for an engagement ring for the future Mrs. Wick.’ Raye gasps. ‘Oh my God, you’re going to be Mr. and Mrs. Wick. This is so adorable.’

For a second John wished Jennie was her with him instead, but knowing Raye, she will make this first glance for engagement rings pretty memorable. Besides, he doesn’t have to buy a ring right away. A small orientation is enough and he wants the input of her friends.

They glance through the glass displays, but no ring is good enough for Darcie. She needs something elegant, but also something to show the world that she’s taken.

John remembers that dark day clearly. Two weeks ago a group of salesmen walked into the cafe and while they were ordering, someone was insanely interested in his Darcie.

When she brought them their order, the man started talking to her and there is nothing wrong with that. People are allowed to talk to her, obviously. John didn’t want to be possessive, but seeing this man checking her out without shame, made his blood boil.

‘So, sweetheart,’ the man said, ‘why isn’t your number with the order?’

Darcie had chuckled. ‘I don’t just hand out my number to customers.’

‘Come on,’ he tried to coax her, flashing her a smile. ‘Make an exception for me.’

‘Well, I already made an exception and he is now my boyfriend.’ She turned around and pointed at John. ‘That’s him over there. Gentlemen, enjoy your drinks.’ Darcie walked up to John, a smile evident on her face. She must’ve sensed his frustration, because she placed a kiss on his bearded cheek and said: ‘I’m your girlfriend, remember that.’

It had eased his mind of course, knowing that she had only eyes for him and he had known that for a while. Every time they went out on a date and Darcie looked gorgeous, he catches men staring at her. He understood, because she is an absolute vision, but he needed other men to back off.

And an engagement ring might help with that.

‘Wait,’ he says to Raye, placing a hand on her arm to stop her. ‘What do you think about this one?’

He points to a ring with two bands woven into each other, with a rectangular bright diamond, perfectly cut. Compared to all the other rings he has seen, this one is delicate and would fit perfect around Darcie’s finger.

Raye stares at the shiny ring for a moment and says: ‘It looks gorgeous. I mean, Darcie would’ve liked all these rings, but this one seems to fit her the best. I’ll make a picture and send it to Jennie.’ Before John can say something, she quickly adds: ‘No worries, I’ll make sure Jennie doesn’t let Darcie see.’

While Raye texts her friend, John asks the clerk if he can see the ring up close. The man shows it to him and the more he looks at it, the more he is certain that this is the ring. Did he really find a ring this soon in the process? Should he look for another one? Or is this it?

‘Well,’ Raye says, pulling him back into reality, ‘Jennie is in love and wants you to propose to her.’

John chuckles. ‘I think this is the one, Raye,’ he says, showing her the ring. ‘I mean, you can see Darcie wearing this right?’

‘Totally,’ Raye says, staring at the diamond. ‘God, it’s beautiful. I wonder how much it is.’

John asks the clerk how much the ring is, though he knows that he’ll buy it anyway.

‘Ten thousand five hundred and sixty dollars, sir.’

Raye nearly faints. ‘Oh my fucking God, that is so insanely expensive,’ she says in a loud voice, causing people to look over at them. ‘You sure you love Darcie that much? I bet there are other rings that are a close second.’

John looks at the ring again and says to the clerk: ‘I’m buying it.’

‘What?’ Raye says. ‘You are going to spend more than ten thousand dollars on a ring for her?’

‘Of course,’ John says shrugging. ‘This is the perfect ring for her, there is no way in the world I’m not buying this. I want to propose to her with this ring.’

⟢⟡⟣

‘Did you ask her about marriage?’ John asks, while he is sitting in his car, his phone on handsfree. It’s eight p.m. and he is about to pick up Darcie from the cafe. Jennie already went home, but he needed to know. She promised she’d ask.

‘Of course I did,’ Jennie says. ‘I asked her whether or not she wanted to marry you one day.’

Jennie keeps quiet, causing John to grow a bit impatient and asks: ‘And?’

‘And she said that she had multiple daydreams about you standing at the altar, looking at her as she walks down the aisle.’ She starts to laugh and says: ‘If you are worrying about her saying no, let me tell you this, John: the girl is smitten. She is so happy with you and though she didn’t say it in exactly these words, she really wants to spend the rest of her life with you.’

John leans back in his seat, sighing deeply. He is not proposing tonight, though he really wants to. If it was up to him, he’d marry her tonight.

‘What’s on your mind?’ Jennie asks when he doesn’t say anything.

‘Nothing,’ John says. ‘I want it to be perfect, you know.’

‘I understand, but I can guarantee she will love it no matter how you’re proposing. Wait, no, that’s a lie. I know this has nothing to do with proposing, but please listen to this. Back in high school, the most popular guy asked her to go to prom with him. In the middle of the cafeteria, microphone and all. Everyone was watching. You could feel the anticipation rise with every passing second.’

‘What did Darcie do?’ John asks, with a smile on his face.

‘Oh, poor girl nearly fainted. She finally managed to pull herself back together and said: “I’m going to take your request into consideration”. In front of the entire school, right into the microphone.’

John hears Jennie laugh and he can’t help but laugh as well. ‘Well, I don’t want that to happen.’

‘Oh my God, you really don’t. After she said that, she walked away and he followed her. They did eventually go to prom together and they became prom king and queen. She stood there, with the crown on her head, probably wishing she could just disappear. Poor girl is scarred for life, everything that has to do with that kind of unexpected public attention. So promise me you won’t propose to her in public with a crowd.’

‘I won’t. Look, I’m at the cafe, Jennie. Thank you for today.’

‘Yeah, totally. Just tell us when you’re going to propose, okay? We really want to help you to make it as perfect as possible.’

After he hangs up on her, he turns around to look at the dogs. ‘What do you say, kids?’ he asks. ‘You think she is going to say yes when I propose?’

Tiki barks and jumps to the front seat, while Oreo wags his tail, smiling at his owner.

John chuckles and grabs the leashes. He walks to the cafe, with the two dogs walking in front of him. He hid the ring in her apartment, but he placed it in the safe with his three guns and m.o.. When he sort of moved in her apartment, he told her about it, said that having guns around, made him feel safer. More secure. She said it was okay.

She did know the safe combination, he wanted her to know, but knowing Darcie, she’ll never look inside. She told him once that she didn’t want to know about all the guns he owns and how he can use them and he respected that.

Now, it comes in handy.

He opens the door of the cafe. There is no one there, but he hears a: ‘John, I’m almost done!’ from the kitchen.

Within seconds she flicks off the kitchen lights and her entire face lights up. ‘There are my babies,’ she says, crouching down and spreading her arms, inviting the dogs to rush to her. ‘Oh my God, I missed you two so much.’ She gives them both a big kiss on top of their heads. ‘Were you good to your dad today?’ she asks in a high pitched voice.

‘They were very good,’ John answers, staring at his beautiful girlfriend. Since it keeps getting colder and colder, her sweaters are getting thicker and thicker. She owns a lot of knitted ones and he can’t decide which one is the cutest, but seeing her in this light pink color, makes his heart skip a beat.

Personally, John never really cared about colors. He barely saw the difference. Once Helen painted an entire wall in a soft yellow color, but it took him four hours to notice it, after she pointed it out to him. But Helen mostly liked the warmer beige kind of colors.

The amount of pink and other pastel colors that Darcie has in her house, is really overwhelming and he can’t not notice. But sleeping underneath the pink blankets and sipping his morning coffee out of a baby blue mug, makes him feel at home. He loves every second of it and since the colors make her happy, it makes him happy.

Darcie walks over to him and wraps her arms around his shoulders. ‘I missed you so much, honey,’ she whispers in his ear, causing shivers down his spine. He pulls her small frame against his, lifting her off her feet.

‘How are you doing?’

‘I can’t wait to go home,’ she admits.

He presses a long kiss on her cheek. ‘You want me to give you a piggyback ride to the car?’

‘We’re adults, John. I can walk.’

‘I’m going to carry you to the car no matter what.’

He keeps his promise, because five minutes later, they closed off the cafe and Darcie is on his back, holding on tight, while he holds the leashes of their dogs. She presses soft kisses on his neck. ‘I love you, mister Wick,’ she says.

‘Really?’

‘Mhm, so incredibly much. The entire day I’ve been waiting for the day to end, so I could see you again. Does that sound too clingy?’

John laughs. ‘Not at all. I wish I could spend every single second with you.’

‘You’d get bored of me.’

‘Not a chance.’

He helps her in the passenger seat. While John drives off, he keeps on talking about the cute things Oreo did today and how Tiki is such a hyperactive one, compared to her brother.

But he barely gets a responds. ‘Sweetheart, what’s wrong?’

‘I figured you haven’t watched the news,’ Darcie says. ‘My dad lost the case. Pete Stanford is a free man.’

With the whole proposal and looking for a ring, he totally forgot that was today. He holds her hand and gives it a tight squeeze. ‘I’m so sorry to hear that.’

‘My dad was devastated. He worked so hard on it and now… I don’t think he has lost a case ever since he owned Angel and Moon.’

‘How is he doing?’

‘Well, he kind of wants to be left alone now. Tomorrow he will stay at home with my mom, they will talk about it and hopefully he can go back to work on Monday, without him feeling guilty.’

John kisses her fingers. ‘I’m sorry, baby. Is there something we can do for him?’

‘Don’t think so, maybe next week.’ From the corner of his eyes, he spots that she looks to the side. ‘You are so thoughtful, thinking about what we can do for him.’

John almost feels giddy, but he simply clears his throat. ‘Well, your dad is family. Of course I want to do something for him.’

Once they are home and the dogs waddle off to the couch, curling up beside one another, Darcie walks off to the kitchen, to make herself some tea. Though John wished he could do every single thing for her, she usually swats his hands away. ‘You already do so much for me,’ she would say to him. ‘I’d like to have the illusion there are things I can do.’

John leans against the kitchen counter, crossing his arms and looking at the petite woman next to him, making them some tea.

‘You’re looking at me with your bedroom eyes,’ Darcie says with a chuckle, forgetting about her father and the case. ‘Does this sweater turn you on?’

He loves it so much when she jokes around like that. The better he got to know her, the more frequent those kind of comments became. ‘Well,’ John laughs, ‘everything you wear or do turns me on.’

She was pretty confident about ten seconds ago, but now she blushes. She pushes her mug to the back of the counter, so the dogs can’t reach if they disobey and place their paws on the edge of the counter. She stands on her toes and gives him a long kiss. ‘Really everything?’

John hoists her up, throwing her over his shoulder as he walks them to the bedroom.

‘John,’ she squeals, smacking his back. ‘What are you doing?’

He places her carefully on the bed and takes off his white shirt. ‘What do you think?’ he asks, closing the door behind him. ‘Someone informed me that I was looking at you with my bedroom eyes.’

Darcie smiles at him, almost turning him into a puddle. This woman has a certain effect on him, he never knew anyone could have. She takes off her knitted sweater, revealing a tight tank top. After she throws the flimsy material to the side, she’s left in her white lace bra.

God, he loves it when she wears that one. John helps to unbutton her pants. Her skin is slowly losing the sun kissed color, after spending the entirety of summer in short skirts and dresses.

Seeing her body on the bed in her bra and pink underwear, makes him almost lose his patience. He wants her, now.

He crawls on top of her, pressing his lips against hers and she wraps her legs around his hips.

‘John,’ she mewls, ‘I need you, please.’

Hearing her talk to him in that needy voice… He almost cums in his pants at that moment, but he composes himself, letting a cheeky smile form on his lips. ‘I know you do, baby,’ he whispers.

John stands up and unbuckles his pants, letting it drop to the floor. When he sits between her thighs again, she somehow turns him on his back, straddling his hips. Barely does she take control like that, mostly because she’s still too embarrassed to let go like that.

Gradually, her moans are becoming a little louder. He hates it that she thinks that she’s not good enough for him, not sexy enough and every day he wonders what he could do to make her realize that he is in it for the long run, that every thing she does, is good enough for him.

He could propose.

Darcie places her hands on his shoulders, pushing him further into the mattress. Her soft lips are pressed against his and his hands wander to her hips. Every place she kisses him, leaves a burning sensation behind. His neck, his collarbone, the scares on his chest. His underwear is getting real tight.

Her fingers hook around the waistband of his short and she pulls it down, revealing his painfully hard cock, some pre-cum covering his tip.

Darcie licks the drops away and John groans in frustration. Her hand wraps around his thick cock, licking the base.

She barely does this, but when she does, it nearly kills him. His chest rises up and down in a fast pace and he can’t help it but let a strangled moan escape from his lips when she takes him in. Normally she goes about halfway, but he doesn’t know what is going on with her tonight, but she takes him in further than she’s ever done. He can feel his tip at the back of her throat.

‘Fuck, baby,’ he manages to choke out. He sits up straight and grabs her long straight locks, so they don’t get in her face. It takes him all his will power to not buck his hips. He watches her as she bobs her head, slightly gags when she takes him a little further.

Her innocent eyes look up and to make things even harder, she winks at him. He grabs her by her shoulders, to pull her on top of him. ‘You,’ he pants, ‘are gonna be the death of me.’

Darcie smiles at him. ‘John,’ she whines, ‘I was just getting started.’

He unclasps her bra, revealing her perky breasts. He folds his lips around her hardened nipple. ‘You like these panties?’ he whispers against her sensitive skin.

She lets out a chuckle. ‘No, it was the only— Oh my God, John! Did you just rip it apart?’ She looks down, to see her underwear in shreds in his hands. ‘Impressive,’ she chuckles, grabbing his face, before kissing him.

Her tongue explores his mouth, his hands wandering from her lovely hips, to her ample behind.

To his own dismay she lets go, to reach for a condom in the drawer of the nightstand. She rips the foil package open and rolls the rubber on his cock. Still on top, she holds his member  in her delicate hand and brings it near her wet entrance.

Darcie feels so fucking tight around him. He watches her slowly sinking on him, until he is balls deep inside of her. She places her hands on his chest and starts riding him.

He needs to keep his shit together, because he is about to cum. His thumb plays with her clit, hoping to send her over the edge before he is.

Like always, only soft whimpers leave her lips.

‘Come on, baby,’ he whispers, ‘let me know you feel.’

When he gets zero response from her, he bucks up his hips, setting the pace. Taken by surprise, a moan leaves her lips.

‘That’s my girl,’ John smiles. He pulls her close to his chest and turns them over, so he is on top again. He speeds up his thrusts, unable to hold in.

‘Fuck,’ Darcie groans.

Her walls are tightening around him. ‘Let go, sweetheart,’ he whispers, ‘I’m really close too.’

Her legs start to shake and for the first time, her soft gasps turn into loud moans, filling the room. ‘Fuck, John,’ she cries out and that sends him over the edge. They ride out their high  together and John pulls out of her, causing her to whimper at the loss of connection.

John throws the condom in the bin and does what he always does; engulfing his sweet tiny Darcie in his arms.

‘Mister Wick,’ she pants, ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too, baby.’ He tilts her head and says: ‘Don’t get embarrassed, but I love it when you take control like that.’

She does get embarrassed. ‘Really?’

‘I do,’ he says, propping himself on his elbow, so he can look at her a bit better. ‘And you were louder tonight.’

‘I know.’ She hides her face in her hands. ‘God, I bet I sounded like a moron.’

‘Don’t do that,’ John tells her, pulling her hands from her face. ‘Look at me, baby.’

She hesitates for a second, but when she looks up, her eyes squinted together, almost as she is afraid of what he might say.

‘It makes me happy when you let me know how you feel. You should let me know how I make you feel, okay?’ He pecks her nose and whispers: ‘That’s very important to me.’

Darcie nods. ‘Okay.’

‘The fact that you can be hot as hell and as cute as a button two minutes later, it drives me crazy.’

‘Shut up,’ she laughs, trying to get away from him, but he is a lot stronger and holds her close to his chest. ‘John, let me go. I need to clean my face.’

‘One kiss,’ he says. ‘Just one.’

‘Okay, okay.’ She presses a short peck on his lips, but John pulls her back, his fingers tangled in her hair. ‘John,’ she groans against his lips. ‘You said one kiss.’

‘It is one kiss.’ He can’t seem to let her go, but he knows his Darcie. He knows that she is going to clean her face no matter what and he lets her go.

‘I’ll be back here before you know it.’ She gets up out of bed, grabs John’s shirt off the floor and throws it on. She sends him one last smile, before she exits the room.

John can’t help but smile. Yeah, he really wants to marry her.

Taglist: @toomanystoriessolittletime​ @flhorah​ @allie1804-fan @cynic-spirit​ @raven-black102

[inthispagewestanikon]

Special Scenario - MINO “Fiancé” part 2

I’m back with part 2, it took long enough lol but I hope you enjoy <33

Word count: 2.202

Mino’s POV

After I left the building and stared as she went her way I felt as if the world had stopped completely, maybe I haven’t even fully processed what had happened inside that elevator; it’s like I’ve waited for this moment for so long and now that it happened I don’t even know what to do with myself.

I saw a taxi pull over and a lady came out so I rushed to get to it before it took off. As I sat down in the car and the driver asked me where we were going I kind of stuttered before the adress to my studio just rolled out of my mouth. 

The ride wasn’t long and it wasn’t expensive. I got off and entered the building where my studio was located, I greeted the doorman and entered yet another  elevator, as soon as I did the memories rushed back and it hit me...I had kissed my ex who I’ve been in love since my school days and in a few days she is going to be someone else’s wife. I laughed out of dispair, I remember this one night specifically which we were at a park and we were laying on the bench and we told each other that we’d get married for sure when I made enough money as a rapper...at least one part of it came true. 

I got off the elevator and walked to my door, typed the passcode and finally was in my safe haven, I could now be myself and just let every and any feeling pour out. I saw a pen and doodled over a paper going through the scene one more type and the word 'fiancé’ kind of come out in the paper and I added ‘my’ in front of it and chuckled at how childish that look so I said the words out loud and a depressed feel came along, it was funny and sad.

I started working on the beats I was producing for my new album but for the past 2 hours I have been doing that all of them sounded like trash to me. I stretched my arms and the paper came into my field of vision, the words “my fiancé” written down and a melody hit me. 

I stood up and went over to the piano playing some lines trying to give life to what was in my head, when I got the base down I went back to the computer and started adjusting and adding more things. I came across this old folk song and it was like it tied everything together, so I sampled it and worked it into the base from the piano. 

After a few hours I had the whole melody down and I loved it, now it was time to figure out with the lyrics. As I was getting ready to go into that I got a call, Zico’s name popped up in the screen and I picked up.

“Oh, yes Hyung..What’s up?” I said.

“Mino-ya, what are you doing?” He asked.

“At the studio” I replied and he laughed.

“Yah, go out and get some air, you’re there everyday” I laughed at his advice.

“Look who’s saying that” I laughed more “Ah, that was funny...yes hyung I’ll do that” 

“You better!” He warned in a joking tone “I’m hanging up now, bye”

“Bye hyung, take care” I said. 

Even though I’d love to do exactly what he told me to I just couldn’t stop now, I was in the zone and don’t want to get out of it and I’m sure he is the one who’d 100% understand that so I went back to my lyrics.

On the same doddled paper I started by writing random words, the process of creating lyrics was harder than the beats because it hss to rhyme, it has to go well with the melody and it need to make sense whilst the beat is more of a feeling. 

Two hours went by and all I had were doddles and the same two words. The sky was dark and I knew I had been in there for too long. Maybe it was time for fresh air and some food, I realized I hadn’t eaten since I left the restaurant earlier. 

I left the studio room and made my way to the elevator while stretching my back, after hours sitting it sure was aching. I pressed the button and the doors opened, I entered and was about to go on my phone, just when I unlocked the scene hit me and the sentence “stop playing around and just be with me” came into my mind and the doors were about to close so I frantically pressed the button to open the door and ran back to my studio. 

I sat down and picked up the pen writing down that sentence and from then on the rest just rolled out. My handwriting looked like shit because my thoughts were moving faster than my hands could move but in like 15 minutes I had the lyrics down.

“Knock knock I miss you But I can’t have you (So, sad) Drip drip I pour out my tears But you still hide your fine figure (You’re so mean) You’re friendly to others, but chic towards me Where’s all the stars in Seoul Oh, in your eyes When you’re with him you’re in Dystopia If you follow me it’s Utopia [Hook] Pretty woman Wo wo you’re so elegant I look at you from all angles, and you’re still so pretty I’ve just realized, my woman Woman, my blue bird  Hide well my lady (My lady) I can see your hair, where are you Where are you? I can’t find you, come out (Come out, come out wherever you are) I’ll go wherever you are, I’ll go [Verse 2] Shh don’t stay a word, let’s just run away Stop playing around and just be with me During the summer I just want to walk in your eyes We’re both risqué, risky risky oh I miss your body, and I’m lonely Help feed this thirsty dog Don’t be embarrassed like a coiled up cobra, alright? [Hook] Pretty woman Wo wo you’re so elegant I look at you from all angles, and you’re still so pretty I’ve just realized, my woman Woman, my blue bird  Hide well my lady (My lady) I can see your hair, where are you Where are you? I can’t find you, come out (Come out, come out wherever you are) I’ll go wherever you are, I’ll go [Verse 3] You’re a pie in the sky Woo, I swallow my spit  You’re my main, I’m your chewing gum Woo, let’s boogie on & on We’re on fire, I can finally breathe, I’m all for you Beautiful you’re pretty, pretty

Come out come out wherever you are  I’ll, go  Come out come out wherever you are I’ll go wherever you are I’ll go

Now all that’s left is recording the lyrics and add it on top of the beat. 

I started recording it but it wasn’t sounding right. I took several breaks and walked in circles around the room trying to figure out the tone, nothing. I listented to the beat again and again, but still it wasn’t right.  Honestly, this wasn’t  just a song, I was sending a message, it was my answer to this fucking marriage and I wanted her to get it as soon as she listened to it.

I sat there in deep thought fow a while and I started mumbling the words until I finally got how the chorus would sound, so I started from there and the excitment from that part being just right led me to recording the rest of the song. 

I was almost 7AM when the demo was complete. I hadn’t had any sleep, but the song was ready and I wanted to get it to YG as soon as I could. I didn’t care I looked like shit, I just got inside a taxi and head over to YG building. 

I went up to the producers room and told them I had something good for the next realease. So I played the demo on my phone and by the look on their faces, I did great.

“Mino ya, this is a single, really” one of the producers said.

“Yah let’s take it to president Yang” The other one added.

“wah, I’m so glad you liked it, I worked on it all night” I smiled.

“Yeah, we can see” We all laughed.

They then called in his office to schedule a meeting and while that was being taken care of by the secretaries we all went to the cafeteria to eat something and a meal was indeed much need because I was running on coffee since yesterday.

“Yah mino, you need to watch your health” one of them said as we were eating.

“yes you need to listen to your hyungs” the other added.

“yes yes” I said while bowing in apology.

We finished the meal and were hanging out at their studio room when the president called us up to his office. 

Once we got there the receptionist said we could enter the room as he was already waiting for us.

“Oh, Mino! How you’ve been?” YG greeted me.

“Hello! I am good” I bowed.

“Glad to hear! So, I’ve heard from these guys that you have something good for me, let’s hear it” He said and I immediately pulled out my phone and played the song.

The room was quiet for about 30 seconds before YG gave that smile he has when he likes something and I could finally breathe again. 

“This is good material, Mino, really” He said “That’s a single” He complemented and I smiled a bit flustered with the compliment.

“Thank you, Presindent” I bowed. 

“Of course, few adjustments here and there and it’ll top the charts for sure” YG remarked “Actually, let’s release a full album” After he said that my soul left my body and came back, a full album? Is he serious? Has he gone insane?

“P-President, is this a joke?” I asked innocently.

“Of course not” He laughed “You’re surprised, right? Well, you’re one of our greatest artists, you always bring good material both solo and for WINNER, so I want to give you the chance. Do you think you can do it?” He finished and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. 

“Of course I can! Thank you so much, Presidente, for this opportunity I promise I’ll do good” I bowed and was sincerely moved by the trust he was putting in me. I have waited for this chance for a long time and knowing the President of the company trusts me enough to realeae a full album is amazing. 

We left the room after chatting for some more about group activities and producing for others artists and I was on cloud 9. 

(...)

The next two months went by so quickly, I was in meeting after meeting, recording after recording, everything to get this album to perfection. There was going to be 12 songs that I, myself, composed and produced.The work I put into this was immense I couldn’t wait to put it out there for my fans to listen and for her. I also filmed a music video and the preparation was exhausting, but this meant more than just awards and charts, I kept thinking that if I couldn’t relay this message to her with words I’d do it through art, which is the one thing that might have kept me from sinking low after the news that the one and only woman I’ve ever loved will soon carry another guy’s last name.

(...)

The wedding was a month away now and the single realese date was due to two weeks before the cerimony. I peeked at the date engraved on that envelope “10/12/2018″  I still couldn’t wrap my head around it and even if I buried myself in work that kiss was what started it all. The questions in my head kept me up at night and she was all I could think about. “Is this how this it’s going to end? Is this a “the one that got away situation”? What if she still loves me and is waiting for me to say something? If so, what can I say?” It was like this all day everyday and I got absolutely no answer whatsoever.

(...)

26/11/2018 came and the music video was released, I was pumped but the whole time I keep thinking about what she was thinking and then an idea came to my mind. I grabbed my phone and copied the link to the video and searched through my contacts until I found who I was looking for, hers.

I sent the link along with no context, if I did all this so my art could speak for me then there were no words that I could say to her and after all the years we’ve known each other, I know she’ll get it, she always gets it because she, like no one else, gets me.

Sooo, it took me long enough so I made up for it with a long part and I didn’t want to say anything but there is room for a part 3 idk you guys let me know...

Anyways, hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing <33 I promise not to take 2 years to update this lol,

Ana.

[tsukidotcom]

Haikyuu HC to COVID-19 (Karasuno edition)

This is horrible 💀 im just so bored so I made whatever this mess is KFJSJDMSK enjoy

Hinata Shouyou

huh? isn’t it just the flu?

“No, hinata. People have died from it-“

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-

goes bananas

whenever someone sneezes or coughs, his soul leaves his body as he runs away to sanitize/wash his hands for a miserably long time.

eats an expired can of peaches thinking it’s his last resort

lowkey happy school is closed because homework sucks

but also highkey hates it because now all volleyball tournaments are closed

then gets all angry when he realizes he’d have to do online school???!!?? like wtf he got jipped.

thinks they could still do volleyball if they did online calls cus if the school can do it,, then vOLLEYBALL CAN

will probably miss half of the class calls from oversleeping/forgetting anyway.

sheepishly ask yamaguchi, yachi or tsukishima for help on assignments/notes. (he will NEVA ask kageyama. he’s always in competition with him here!)

still practices volleyball 24/7 in his backyard or room (maybe even with his baby sister??)

He’s really good at practicing all by himself from practicing all alone in middle school—

but will probably go crazy being alone all the time with his family. he just wants to play volleyball with the team again.

looks up “what to do when you’re bored” or “what to do at home while in quarantine” on youtube

Kageyama Tobio

probably says he’s immune to the corona because he’s just better than everyone else

doesn’t really think it’s real until school shut down because of it

When he sees that corona is airborne he wont know what that means so he’d probably think it’s produced by air itself?? which makes him think air is trying to kill the human race?? and will be so confused as to why it decided to pop up now???

DESPISES online school. He had enough trouble understanding it from the gecko, so now he has to learn it basically all by hiMSELF?!?

And no way is he just gona email the teacher for help. If he does it’s gonna be only once in his lifetime. Anymore than that he thinks he’s doin too much. He doesn’t want his teachers thinking he’s dumb 😭

he says literally nothing during the calls he just tries to pay attention? and fails because he’s on a computer. in his room. alone. he’s bound to daze off or stare at a pen for 5 minutes.

Obvi still practices volleyball. Very much misses it. At least Hinata had his sibling to practice with him. tobio is a lone wolf in his household.

When his mom goes out to get groceries he gives her one of those doctor masks so she doesn’t catch corona.

Few moments later through the internet he realizes that corona is smaller than air molecules so if you can breathe through something you could still get it so he struggles for an hour thinking he just killed his mother

When his mom is back he keeps his distance in case she’s carrying the plague

omg did she just cough or am i imagining things no she definitely coughed she has corona oh oh god

In reality she was just clearing her throat.

is lowkey worrying about everyone and how they are 🥺 (yes, maybe even hinata).

thinks he’s science smart by calling it covid-19 than corona.

Asahi Azumane

He just worries about everyones health

like he just imagines the worst case scenario’s and starts to get really worried if people got it. Always checks on everyone and asks if they’re feeling any symptoms of corona ❤️

He’s either not gonna get it or he gets it and dies there’s no inbetween

but he’s jesus himself so theres no way he nor anyone in his bloodline can get it

is very happy to know that dogs can’t get it.

Takes online school seriously and tries his best

And is honestly so sad school just ended??? even if it’s temporary, he could be learning, playing volleyball, and going about his day instead of staying in a cage. he’s a third year so—how would graduation even go..?

always is up to date on the news !! and notifies everyone if anything important is added/changed.

Always tells everyone to stay safe! Whether through text or before ending a call.

only buys a lot of toilet paper from the fear of there being no toilet paper in stock since evERYONE IS BUYING IT-

Starts to try new hobbies that he put off for the longest time cus quarentine is rlly getting to him.

Is all out a family guy so he doesn’t mind the extra time with his family.

Nishinoya Yu

OAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOA

420 blazin’

thinks going outside means you’re instantly gonna die from corona attacking your white blood cells (????)

but also probably doesnt care as he goes outside like everyday to run around and get rid of energy (and to practice volleyball, of course).

also why is it called white blood cells when blood is red ☠️ smh

Buys 101611018320129 bags of chips because that’s his comfort food

yay more gaming time!!!

Noya🐒: Tanaka do u wana play minecraft 2getr latr?

Tanaka🍌: HELL YEAH!!

doesn’t shower for three days straight because screw personal hygiene!! No more school!!! Can do whatever he wanted!! It’s basically summer!!!

until he’s forced to do online school.

Is def the class clown. Probably somehow kicks the teacher out of the call through a little bit of hacking.

“alright guys so i’ll be you’re substitute teacher for the day-“

tbh acts the same as he would in school. maybe a little more rebellious because, i mean, what is the teacher gonna do? send him to DETENTION? call his mOMMY?

Calls/spams literally everyone in his contacts because he’s so bored and lonely. Answer him!! Y’all will be on facetime for hours!!

He’s fun to facetime.

Will call you a loser if you don’t have an apple iPhone because then he can’t facetime you and facetiming is one of his favorite things to do to pass time (besides gaming)

HE A TRUE GAMER

Okay but he lowkey still tries at school for the sake of his grades and his future ;-; maybe calls asahi or sugawara for help??

always looks up his homework on the internet to see if he can get an answer key or something (he did that anyway even before corona but)

will do one subject for 3 hours thinking he’s finally done with everythinf till he realizes he has like 4 other subjects and needs to do those too.

Sending memes all the time

Tsukishima Kei

oh, what about corona again?

honestly could give NO fucks??. like ABSOLUTELY ZERO. nonxistent.

doesn’t even remember it’s still happening half the time.

is surprisingly very knowledgeable about corona.

he’s just smart and sciency¿ so he understands the ins and outs of corona like how it works and how its spread.

so if you tRULY want any update or background info on the corona virius, ask Tsukishima.

bitch don’t touch me you have rabies.

doesn’t care that he’s obligated to stay at home because he would have stayed either way. he very much likes being alone.

might go a little crazy cooped up in his room so he’ll hang with his brother/family or go outside before he says ‘okay that’s enough’ and goes back to his room.

isolation? oh okay *puts on headphones*

he rlly gonna be rocking it out in his room cus he can listen to music all day any day

developes a really bad sleep schedule since he had no way to get rid of the energy he got rid of at school.

still a huge tease so he says everyone has the corona virius.

is never online on social media which means he’s never up to date with his frIENDS. Doesn’t have a clue what those dipshits are doing and could care less (besides yamaguchi,, they probably facetime or call thru skype or something).

I bet the whole volleyball squad has a groupchat and honestly he puts all notifs on mute cus his phone keep goin DING DING DING DI DING ID DID IDKNG DING DIG

Brother: Omg why are you getting so many text messages?

Tsukki: Shut up

if he is online on the gc and he texts it would be simple replies like “Hi” “Okay.” “No.” “Goodbye.” and then he’s gone for another week

every first year is begging on their knees for tsukishima to give the answers or help them out and he obviously says: go do the hw yourselves idiots

besides yamaguchi!!!! again!! cus theyre gay for each other

maybe practices once in awhile with his brother or alone in his backyard but he doesn’t care

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

buys 101817 pounds of toilet paper because everyone else is? but not because of the same reason as asahi. he thinks toilet paper is the cure to corona.

GO STUPID AAAAAAAAA GO CRAZY AAAAAAAAAAA-

probably has a part time job at a grocery store so he still has to go to work 😭 i dont even know how he could have a job in the first place he’s probably always late-

still gamin with noya of course

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM IM PLAYING MINECRAFTT

also buys like all the junk food thats in stock. and since he works at the grocery store he gets a ton of coupons and deals.

texts Kiyoko everyday goodmorning ❤️❤️❤️ and goodnight 😘😘 texts just to be left on read.

“i love it when she ignores me !!!”

scrolls through tiktoks for 1000 hours to pass time

School Is For Losers!!

similar to noya, he thought it was basicaly summer until he realized they were gonna be doing online school. literally had a fit and said he didnt wanna do jack squAt

Laughs so hard when nishinoya somehow kicks the teacher out of the call he’s like laughing so loud and hard he starts crying

all of the sudden has a better view on school

gets excited when he sees nishinoya on the call

makes funny and ugly ass faces when the teacher isn’t looking. everyone laughs and the teacher’s like 🤨

probably uses the green screen effect so he can change hus background (somehow) and accidentally misclicks a file so a girl wit a bikini becomes his background for .5 seconds before changing it to a cursed meme:

doesn’t get half the shit the teacher is talking about

but it’s okay because the half he doesn’t get is the other half noya gets

and the half noya doesnt get is the orher half tanaka gets

they’re two peas in a pod 🥰

until they try explaining it to each other and suddenly get confused?? mental malfunction ¿?

yeah im SMART!!!

s -

m -

a -

r - penis

t -

Daichi Sawamura

quite calm about the whole coronavirus

like he knows it is serious and understands how it is spread but he’s still calm about it??

tells everyone to sanitize and wash hands on a regular. and social distancing!!

honestly still wakes up like he does on normal school days and does all his academics just fine.

he even does gym activities (besides volleyball) for 30 minutes to an hour!!!! he be running on that treadmil! getting stronk!

does each subject on his own for 20-40 min each day. he’s really good at self discipline

makes sure sugawara and asahi are up to date on school work and will gladly help.

sadly can’t help the first years (and probably second years) because that info is deep in his brain and basically forgot how to do it after a year or two of not using it.

VERY VERY VERY sad that volleyball nationals are cut off. this is his last year and for it to be??? gone??? just because of some flu?!?! hates it.

he wishes school to go back and still has hope that school will go back to normal in a couple of weeks (even though it’s a slim chance).

asks the teacher questions whenever he has questions. He’s also vv considerate so he’ll ask questions he knows the answer to but asks them for anyone who’s confused ab it/wants to ask but is too shy. (literally i lov daichi sm)

Eats a healthy amount of everything

asks asahi for any updates on corona even though he’s quite up to date himself. he just wanna make sure he didn’t miss anything.

also doesn’t mind being around his family. he’ll do more chores around the house to help his parents out :> he’s literally perfect wtf

def does worry about everyone in the volleyball gc and anyone else he has contact with. Will also email classmates and ask if they’re doing all right. Even away from volleyball he’s a team player ☺️✌️

Is happy for the rest of the day when asahi tells him dogs can’t get corona.

Yamaguchi Tadashi

oaoaiquqhdkoaiaagadjsiwi?

doesn’t know what to believe anymore

keeps in touch with everyone!! always online 24/7 on social media, vball gc, you name it.

Literally everyone is acting so normal why are people so calm am i the only one worrying about this and the worlds future like this year has been really bad so far for not just me but the whole nation actually the entire world honestly like war almost broke out in january and now this corona stuff is really buttering my crissont the wrong way-

Even though tsukishima literally gives No Fucks, yamaguchi is the complete opposite.

like tsukki and yamaguchi call on skype and eVERY TIME yamaguchi starts with ‘how have you been? do you feel sick at all? have you drank enough water today?’ and so on

“What are you even worrying about?”

“Well...what if you get the corona virius?... it can be deadly, you know!! Thousands of people have died from it!!! The fact school is shutting down and people are panicking is making me feel like i should be panicking-“

Tsukki will then snarkily reassure him it’s fine and people their age are the least likely to get it bad.

Yamaguchi will feel a little better afterwords

“Thank you, Tsukki!”

Tsukki will ‘tch’ it off

Even though he gets really good grades he has triuble finding motivation to do any school work?? doing school work in his own home? 😐

His home was kinda a place he can chill whereas school is a place he can be fully focused

but now his home is ALSO school??!!?

Luckily he understands the work, at least.

When he sees tsukishima on the call, too, he instantly says hello.

“Tsukki!! Hey!! 😁”

“Shut up.”

“Gomen, Tsukki.”

Yeah. Even when they aren’t at school, he’s still the same as always.

He takes extra care of his family and always stays in touch with other relatives. Especially grandpa and grandma. THE SECOND he learned elderly people are at more risk you bet your ass he’s calling them making sure they’re okay. He checks up on them everyday now.

He peobably practices volleyball a little, too. He’s more focused on schoolwork though.

Sugawara Koushi

Have you guys ate dinner yet? 🥺

obviously checking up on everyone

he would fail as a mother if he didn’t.

Actually reads in his free time?? He finally has time on his hands to read these books so.... here we are!

Wakes up at a scheduled time everyday (minus weekends. Maybe sleeps for an extra hour or so).

He dresses in pjs rather than actual clothes because he’s not going anywhere with this social distancing thing.

Always tries to lighten the mood when all the students are on the online call. Maybe crack some joke or innocently play around with the effects.

He still pays close attention in class and does quite well on his own. No help from his parents! He can do everything on his own! He a big boi!

Does homework really well, too. Probably does extra work or more work than needed just because it makes him feel good afterwords.

Honestly i can see him cooking in his free time. If he doesnt feel like reading or scrolling mindlessly through his phone, he gonna cook.

Will make the best cookies in the universe.

HAS A HECK OF A SWEET TOOTH. NOT A DAY GOES BY WITHOUT HIM GETTING HIS PRETTY HANDS ON SUM TREAT

Honestly isn’t too good with exercise so he might gain a few pounds or grow the smallest chub 🥺🥺🥺 he would be so cute omfg.

is realy involved with his family!! they play a board/card game every friday night and have the best time.

if he has a dog, cat, or literally any animal you know he’s gona be hanging with them since he has more time.

Still! Playing! Volleyball! I mean by now every boy is practicing at least a little bit. He would probably be in his backyard playing volleyball with his family. Theyy’d set up a net and everythin! They’re all rookies at it but he still cherishes the moments with them.

It’s honestly still practice. Better than nothing

He talks about how his family plays volleyball and everyone is so jealous like 😭😭 makes him more grateful hearing half the volleyball team saying they have to practice alone.

Watching youtube videos of random videos/vines making him giggling.

“Hey, Dachi, look at this video.”

IS A SWEETHEART STFU !!!

[deeezzzznuutttzzzzz]

Wow.... this is my first post on here. I am going to be writing these hopefully everyday for myself, mainly to be able to look back on things I never want to forget. But if anyone out there... yes you... if you decided to read these just know that things will get better. Every day has a meaning and so you have a meaning. Oh... my grammar sucks and I don’t care. Like I said this is for me.  

So here is goes.... 

Waffle House:

Good ole’ Waffle House. My order never changes every time I decide that I am going to go. It’s always the two egg meal with city ham, scrambled eggs with..... you guessed it..... cheese! ( I am incredibly allergic to eggs and dairy but you only live once so fuck it....hahahaha) Then I always go for hashbrowns and wheat toast with 3 strawberry jams and COFFEEEEEEE! 2 creams and a dash of sugar. Lately I have been going alone and I take the time to reflect on my life this far. Let me tell you, the past 5 months have been hell. I will get to that later on, I am sure that it will come up, I know myself way to well to know that I can’t not talk about it. 

Anyways, I got off subject there, Waffle House. I love how you can walk into WH at any moment in time and see all different sorts of people. You can go in at 2 am after a long night at the club and you will be in there with a packed restaurant full of people who are trying to sober up with you. Then, you can go at 8:30am on a Saturday morning and see families eating together after a long work/school week. You can even go at 8pm on a Tuesday night with your significant other because you are both so high and are craving theeee waffles. Or you can even go in at 5pm on a Thursday night and be the only one in the restaurant eating alone detoxing from a terrible week. 

Truth is I have been all of those people. I have been that girl on there at 2 in the morning because I was so intoxicated and I needed food to sober up. I have been that girl there at 8:30am with my family after a long week. I have been the girl there with my significant other because we got high and that was our place. Today, I was the girl there alone at 5pm on a Tuesday because I had a terrible week. Waffle house is a place where you can go at when you are sad, mad, drunk, high, happy, etc. So, as I was sitting there today, with my headphones in, music blaring, I thought about every single memory I have had in that one Waffle House I was sitting at and I needed to share them. 

I sat in the same place I always sit, back corner where I can see the whole restaurant, and I went back to day one. First memory there was in 2016 the day I told my friends Jacks and Bird that I had gotten sexually assaulted, they cried with me in the booth that day. We drove to the gas station after that and took American Honey Shots. That was the day I realized that my friends always have my back. I also learned that I am not ashamed of what happened to me. 

Second significant memory there was the day my significant other at the time LP took me there because it was her favorite place to drink coffee because they used to grind there own beans and the coffee was delicious. ( FYI they changed the coffee and it sucks now... booooo.....) That was the first of many Waffle House dates. We had anytime of the day dates there for the next 3 and a half years. Some good, some bad, but all with the same meal. Some at 2am after the club, some at 5pm when we were high, some at 8:30am with our friend family, some at 8pm because why the fuck not.  I can tell you that when I think of eating there with her it was always the same spot I still sit in and I just picture her smiling over her hashbrowns.. coffee in hand.... cracking some stupid joke.. making me giggle and fall head over heels for me. I can’t help but sit in there sometimes and just imagine the good conversations and smiles we shared there. We also had one of our last and hardest decent conversations there. We even had our last meal together there. No she didn’t die but she left my life. We sat there and she had her hashbrowns and coffee, I had my normal meal, and we sat there and said sorry for how things are. She told me that who she was seeing made her really happy and that she had found a new place to live and she was taking Atlas ( one of our dogs) with her. My heart dropped. That was the day that I learned I was going to be alone. That was the day life changed. 

Third significant memory at Waffle House was every time my best friend M and her boyfriend at the time, and I tripped we ended each trip with a 5am trip to Waffle House before I had to be at work at 6am. These memories were right after I got left. That was the place where I ended my mental break down after a terrible trip. We decided to drop everything and take a 3 day total trip to Colorado. But, that is a whollleee other story that I will write about at a later date. We also would always dance while eating our food because why not. Those were the times where I realized that friends are forever. I learned be spontaneous and that It is okay not to be okay. 

Fourth significant memory was in December I met this girl J. I called her Baby J but I met her on Tinder.... god fuck Tinder... That is a whole story too... I promise I will write about it. After our first date I saw her at the club and ended up taking her home with me but on the way we stopped at Waffle House and sat there and talked for a couple hours then went back to my house and cuddled. Then 2 weeks later we were in Nashville and after I took her outdoor ice skating underneath the Christmas lights I took her to Waffle House. We danced to the music and sang in the middle of Waffle House. We were out of town so we didn’t care. These were the memories where I learned that moving on is possible. The little things mean the most. I learned that even in the hardest times there will always  be someone who can fill the void even if it is just for a reason. 

My final significant memories there now are the ones where I am alone there. They are for every time I sit there alone. I put in my headphones and I just think of all these memories, some of which I didn’t mention, but I think of every memory and I am filled with relief. I guess sitting there at Waffle House reminds me that in every single storm I go through in my life I have memories that remind me of times good and bad where I made it out okay. I have memories that remind me of times in my life where I was happy or where I learned something and I ended up being okay. Memories that remind me of people who aren’t in my life anymore but made an impact on it significantly. People may fade but memories never do. 

Sitting alone in Waffle House reminds me that things will get better. People change, people leave, but you never do. You keep making new memories, you keep moving through your life for you . Sitting alone at Waffle house makes me realize that you have no one but yourself.....

So you better make your life the way you want it to be, live for you, help others often, find friends, make memories, love hard, and be the best version of you. 

Oh... and People may not be in your life anymore and they leave... things change often but.....

Waffle House never does. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

Name:  Stephanie.

Country: USA.

Age:  31.

Gender(s): Female

Height:  ~5′4

weight:  70-something lbs.

eye color: Brown.

skin color:  White.

Heritage: I’ve been really wanting to do one of those ancestry dna or 23 and me tests to find out exactly what I am. Relationship status:  Single.

Are you physically healthy?  No.

Are you mentally healthy? Nope

Job?:  No job.

school:  I graduated college back in 2015.

Favs:

Animal:  Dogs and giraffes.

Flower:  I don’t really have one.

Movie:  I have many favorites.

TV show: I have many favorites.

Music:  I like variety.

Band:  One of them will always be Linkin Park.

Video Game: Mario Bros games and Animal Crossing: New Horizon

Gaming Console: Nintendo Switch.

Name:  Alexander. ;)

Person:  My family.

Love life:

1: Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Nope.

2: Do you love them? 

3: Are you still in love with an ex? No.

4: How many people have you dated?  Two.

5: Do you think you’ll get married?  No.

6: Have you ever been emotionally/physically abused in a relationship?  No.

7: Have you ever hurt your partner by accident without knowing it? I’m single, but no I don’t think I have in the past. But if I didn’t know it then I wouldn’t know?

8: Whats important to you in a relationship?  Communication, trust, understanding, patience.

9: Do you have to see them everyday? ( or hear from them)? I’m singleeee. 

10: Do you think you can love someone within 2 weeks? I personally don’t think so.

Friendship and Family:

1: How many friends do you have?  Zero.

2: What type of friend are you?  Not a good one anymore.

3: Have you ever been friends with someone for longer than 7 years? Yeah. My former best friend and I were friends for almost 15 years.

4: Do you have one best friend, more or none?  One, my mom. 

5: Have you ever had a friend just stop being your friend and you never knew why?  Yes.

6: Do you get along with family?  Yes.

7: Do you have a family member you hate?  No.

8: Does your family accept who you are?  Yes.

9: Are you an only child or have siblings?  I have 2 brothers. 

10: Do you have parents that still live together? Yes.

School:

1:What grade are you in? I’m not.

2: Are you in Middle, High, or college? ( or neither)?  Neither, like I said I graduated college back in 2015.

3: Whats your favorite class?  English was always my favorite. In college I enjoyed most of my psych classes.

4: Do you have a fav school year?  Elementary school years.

5: Are you a good student?  I was, yeah.

6: Do you think homework is good or bad?  I wouldn’t say it’s good or bad. I mean, I get seeing if you’re understanding then material and whatnot and applying it. I guess it depends on the amount assigned and what type of assignment it is. 

7: Have you ever had a teacher who was really funny but had poor teaching skills?  Yes.

8: Is your GPA high or low?  It was high.

9: Do you like to particpate in conversations in the class room or are you the listener?  I was definitely a listener. I haaaaated classes that made class discussion apart of your grade.

10: Do you take part in extra school events? (eg. Plays, sports, leadership,clubs)? I was in clubs in high school and the psych club in college, even serving as a board member.

Health

1: Do you need to lose or gain weight?  I definitely need to put on some weight.

2: Have you ever had the swine flu? (H1n1)  No. I remember being scared about getting it and that whole thing wasn’t even on the level of covid. 

3: Do you like to go to the doctors?  Nooo. I’ve had more than my share of doctor appointments of all different kinds all throughout my life. They still make me anxious and stressed out, they’re definitely not something I find enjoyable.

4: Have you ever puked in school or at work?  I remember getting sick once in kindergarten and having to rush outside to the trash can.

5: Have you ever been extremely sick where you couldnt even leave your bed? Yes, I’ve experienced that several times.

6: Do you hate puking or does it make you feel better? I hate actually doing it, but afterwards I usually do feel better. There are times where it gets to the point where I wish I would just do it already and get it over with cause I know it’d help me feel better. That’s when I’m really not feeling well.

7: Have you ever coughed up blood?  No.

8: Should you be eating healthier ? Yes.

9: Do you lie to your doctor?  I downplay some things or not share certain things, admittedly. :X

10: Have you ever taken too much advils?  No. That would make me sick.

Mental Health:

1: Do you have a mental illness?  Yes.

2: Do you take anti-depressants? No.

3: Are you mentally stable?  Uhhh.

4: Have you ever been misdiagnosed? Yes.

5: Do you think you have an disorder but havent been properly diagnosed yet? Maybe.

6: Is self diagnosing good or bad? I don’t see an issue with researching yourself and thinking you may have something, but it’s important to take that information to a doctor. However, sadly I know that not everyone is able to do that. And I also have a problem with doing that myself, which I think can cause unnecessary stress. I also think people tend to throw around labels and say they have something when they don’t. Gah, it’s a slippery slope.

7: Should we give more money to mental health research?  Yes, absolutely.

8: Do you think everyone has a chance to over come their mental disorders?  I think many can learn to better manage some of them, but I feel like they’re always going to be there. 

9: Would you ever not date someone if they had a severe disorder? ( Schizophrenia,BPD, mood disorders)? I don’t know and I’m probably horrible for saying that. I have my mental disorders and I know it can be a lot for people to be around and handle. I just... I don’t know if I’d be able to be there for them in a way they might need ya know? I lack the experience. I can’t say no for certain. I think it would just really depend on the situation and if I learned more about it. 

10: Does mental illness run in your family? Yes.

SEX

1: Virgin?  Yes.

2: what age did you lose it? 3: Did you take sex ed? 6th grade, middle school, and a health and psych class my freshman year in high school.

4: Does size matter?

5: Whats your favorite poistions?

6: Does virginity exist? I believe so. I know some feel it’s not a real thing or a social construct, but to me it’s a thing. It’s someone who hasn’t had sex. When you have sex, you’re said to have lost your virginity and to me that just means in the very literal sense that you’re not a virgin anymore. I’m not referring to it as something deeper. Although, it can be for some people. And while I don’t think it’s like losing some part of yourself or something life altering, I personally feel like I would feel a change in some way. I also want to add that it’s something I want “lose” or share with someone special. I don’t know, man. I’m sure I’m not explaining it well. It’s just a personal thing.

7: Do you think sex is overated?  I wouldn’t know.

8: Is making love and fucking different? One just sounds more romantic and slow and passionate and the other sounds rough lol 9: Is it important for both genders to understand eachothers bodies?  Yeah.

10: If someone was a virgin and was raped, did they lose their virginity? If it’s not consensual or your choice then you can choose not to count it is how I see it. Like yes, technically they’ve had sex, but something so horrific and traumatic doesn’t count. Losing their virginity should be done their way, with someone they want to share that with. In the situation they were raped, they’re allowed to take their power and control back and count it when they do so with someone they want to do, consensually. 

Check the box:

1.My hair color is: [x] Brown [] Black [] Blonde [x]Red [] Funky colors [] Auburn [] more than one color <<< It’s a mix of my natural color and red because I haven’t dyed it since February.

2.Eye color: []Blue []Grey [x]Brown []Light brown []dark brown []green []amber [] I have two different colors of eyes

3.I am a : []Male [x] Female []Trans Male [] Trans Female []Gender Fluid [] I dont have a gender []Non Binary [] other

4: I am: []Fit [] Average [x]Skinny []Fat

5: I love my : [x]Hair []Eyes []Smile []Teeth []Skin []everything about myself []None of these.  <<< Italicized because I only like my hair when it’s been dyed and my roots aren’t showing haha... unlike now.

6: I hate my: [x]Hair []eyes [xx]smile [x]teeth [x]skin [x] everything about myself [] I dont hate anything about myself

7: My feet are: [x]Small []Wide []Narrow []long []large [x]Ugly []Pretty

8: I have a hard time: []Finding something to wear [x]Making Friends [x] making food [x]staying focused

9: I am: []Employed [x]Not employed []retired []I can’t work []Self employed []Looking for a job

10: I love: []the moon []the sun [x]the stars []our galaxy []planets

Bold what is true:

I am Funny

I am a girl

I have no hair

I have curly hair

^ I hate it

I have straight hair

I have a dog

I have a cat

I have both

I love to get drunk

I don’t drink

I love to smoke weed but i hate smoking cigarettes

I love both

I rather have one best friend than 20 friends who i am not close with

My dad died

My mom died

My parents are both dead

My parents are alive

I like to touch my bruises

I have funny teeth

I love Mcdonalds fries

Sometimes when Im alone I sing as loud as I can

even if i cant sing

I believe in God

I believe in the butterfly affect

I hate video games

I wish I was taller

I can’t understand math

I am very good at writing an essay

I never had sex before

I love Mac N Cheese

I love Disney Movies

I prefer Dreamswork over Walt Disney

I am going to College

I finished college

I wish I went to college

I hate my job

I am the boss at my job

I have a feelings for a friend but i cant tell them because it would ruin our friendship

^ I have feelings and i told them

I wish soda was healthy

I sleep with the window opened

This survey was too long

[wiggly-blue-shite]

Chapter 6 The Bell Doesn’t Dismiss You (Tedgens)

I get out of history and head to my next class. History is always boring. I know no one in that class. Well, I know people in that class but I don't like anyone in it. I also fucking hate studying history. Like I don't give a shit about how Napolean died.

While I walk to my next class, I have the sneaking suspicion I'm being watched. Y'know that feeling when you can feel eyes on the back of your head? Yeah, that.

I turn around to see if I can spot the person staring at me. There. Oh, it's just Henry. I smile and wave at him. He probably feels a little awkward for being caught staring. Acknowledging him might make him feel a little bit better. Henry turns bright red. Aw, that's a little cute. He waves back.

We pass each other without actually saying anything to each other. I want to say hi, or like tell him how good he looks in that outfit today. He doesn't usually dress like that so he should know it's a good choice. It like outlines him. You never really think about how in shape dancers are. I can feel his eyes on me and for some reason I get nervous. Knowing that I was him staring at me, made my hands a little sweaty.

That's weird.

I step into Art and go take my spot next to Paul. We're only taking Art this year because it sounded like fun and we didn't what else we would do. It's just some painting and it doesn't even need to be that good and you can still get a good grade. Easy A. It's a really fun class.

"Hey, what's up." I pat Paul's back. He laughs a little. He's already working on our next project. We have to do an abstract painting that shows our true emotions, or something. It's a nice sketch. Paul's actually not that a bad painter, don't tell him I said that though. Comments like that would go straight to his head.

"Not much man, not much." He continues to work on his sketch. It's pretty swirly and cool looking. "You?"

"eh," I shrug and take a seat in front of my easel. Now time to do some art! Yeah. Easier said than done. I really don't know what to do. I have the feeling of being watched again. I look around again to try to see if anyone is looking at me. No one is.

His lips were so red. His skin is so clear. His hair was great. And wow, why am I thinking about him. Need to think about something else. PAINTING!

The teacher is walking around. She walks up to me and Paul. She's always really supportive of everyone's are and she's understanding when you don't know what to do. I wish all my teachers were like that.

"That's a great start, Paul." I can tell she redirected her attention to my blank canvas, "having some trouble Ted?"

"Yeah, I guess." I'm not the most in tune with my true emotions.

"Well, how are you feeling? I know that's a loaded question."

I honestly have no clue. I guess I still have that feeling of being watched. But I don't really know how to paint that. Abstract paintings are so weeeird.

"How do you paint the feeling of being watched?" She's the art teacher here, she should know what she's doing.

"You mean paranoia?"

Well, paranoia is supposed to be negative though right. This feeling isn't really that negative.

"Not really, I don't know how to explain it."

"Explain it through your art." She's a cool teacher, but every once in a while she'll say something like that. Yup, this really is an art class.

I'll just draw some squiggles and make it into something later.

LUNCH TIME! The best part of the day. I just get to chill out and not deal with bullshit assignments and bullshit people!

Paul and I meet up with Bill and Charlotte at our usual lunch spot. The English building tree! It's this lumpy old tree that doesn't give off much shade but it's cool looking.

"Here you go!" Bill makes me lunch everyday. I don't really have any food at home, and the lunches they serve here are inedible. And Bill wants me to eat so he brings me some food.

"I'm ok without lunch." He's a little too kind sometimes.

"No fuck that you need to eat." Bill shoves the food into my hands. I actually really like the food he brings me. But he doesn't need to know that.

I dramatically spread out my jacket to sit on.

"One of these days I'm going to bring a picnic blanket." Paul sits down and opens the little lunch he has. "So in Art right now we're doing this really abstract thing and I really want to work in a dick in there somewhere."

"Mrs. Hawthorn wouldn't notice." Or she wouldn't care. She's a real hippie. Pretty sure she's come to school high a couple of times. I mean they call it HIGH school for a reason! Public school really is a tragedy.

"That's true." Charlotte has Mrs. Hawthorn fifth period I think.

Paul's staring at something, a smile creeps on his face. I follow his gaze and... yup! Emma and Henry. Why are they here? I'm not complaining, they make good company.

"Hi Emma!" Paul's like a little lap dog. You can almost see his tail wagging.

Emma sits herself down next to Paul. Paul shifts a little so his arm is behind Emma, almost around her.

Henry on the other hand kind of looks around nervously. That outfit might make him look a little intimidating, but he's still a dork. In a good way!

Bill pats the ground in between me and him, signaling for Henry to sit down. Henry sits down on the ground. No wait, those pants are going to get dirty. That sucks.

Bill pats the ground in between him and Ted, signaling me to sit there. So I plop down there. I didn't bring a jacket so I have nothing to sit on, but that's fun.

"Damn if I knew you were gonna be here I would have brought an extra jacket." I really would've, to save those pants. Paul really should bring a picnic blanket.

"No it's fine." No it's not! Nice clothes should be taken care of.

"I love your makeup." Charlotte does enjoy doing crazy makeup. Sam always says some bullshit about her looking a whore. So when Charlotte's not with him she get's to express herself more.

"Thanks!" Henry's eyes light up. He's pretty cute. His punk clothes can't fool me.

"I could never rock an outfit like that." I wish I could. I don't have the body for it. Henry on the other hand...

I can appreciate someone's looks without...

Whatever.

"Sure you could!" Henry smiles and laughs a little. He knows I wouldn't he's just being nice.

"Wow I can't even imagine Ted in full makeup." Bill laughs. That sounds so bad. I'm too messy everything would be smudged so quickly.

"I'm sure Henry would love to do your makeup." Emma suggests. Oh god that will be a mess. But hey it'd be a good story.

"Sure I'm down." I shrug. It would be fun.

"Yeah ok." Henry's blushing. I made him blush. That's...

"Yay!" Emma claps. I don't remember her being this upbeat. I thought she was more cynical. I don't know her that well I guess.

"Hey any word on the school play?" Paul doesn't give a shit. He just wants to make conversation.

"Nope. I think we're just going to be left in the dark until the week of the audition." Wow he really does care. "It's not going to be a Shakespeare show, because we did Shakespeare in the fall."

"Does that mean it's going to be a musical" Paul looks like he's trying to hide his disgust. I have no clue where his hate for musicals comes from, but it's kind of funny.

"Probably." Henry shrugs.

Paul groans. It really is funny how much he hates them. Like really, we have to force him to see Disney movies. It's a Disney movie like they're all good.

"Well I'm excited for it." Bill smiles. Bill and I have been going to school plays for a while. When I had a crush on Zoey, before she got with Sam, we started going because I thought she would notice me in the audience I guess. We still go because they're pretty good productions. They're all pretty good actors.

"Thanks!" Henry smiles awkwardly. He seems confident, I never would have imagined him being this awkward.

"Those shows always look like so much fun." I know I really enjoy seeing them. Even the sadder shows they've done seem fun. Henry and Norah always seem to light up when they're talking about it.

"You should audition." I hadn't even thought of that. "I mean you don't have to, we don't even know what the show is yet. But it is really a fun experience regardless of show. Though it is baseball season, and I know you're on the baseball team. Splitting time between the show and sports might be stressful."

Oh yeah, baseball season is starting. I get to be stuck in in practice with Sam and Coach Dickwad. I've already gotten all my PE credits. I don't need to take a sport to get out of PE anymore.

"Oh shit I totally forgot about baseball." There is no reason for me to stay in it, "if I'm being honest I might quit baseball. The coach is a dick, he-who-shall-not-be-named is on the team now, and I don't even enjoy it that much." I don't know why there's a silence. It's really not a big deal.

"Well there's alway seats open in theatre club." Henry smiles weakly. He's kind of like Paul, he can barely stand awkward social situations.

Imagine that. Ted Richards front and center stage in front of all the school. Fucking performing a monologue or something.

"I do not belong on stage." I'm 100% not a performer, "Charlotte knows what I'm talking about, my singing voice is awful." Charlotte giggles. That karaoke session was a hot mess but I do not regret a second of it.

"You don't have to sing. There's other aspects of theatre, y'know."

Well of course I know it's not just singing, but my singing alone should be enough to drive me away from the stage.

"You could be a techie!" Emma gasps. Based on Henry's expression I'm guessing that's a good fit for me.

A techie? Is that like a... robot thing?

"I don't even know what that is." Ted chuckle. I'll go along with what he says. He's the professional kind of. The

"You basically work backstage." Ah Ted backstage so no one can see my hideous face. "The show hasn't even been announced yet so there's not really any desperate need for techies. But I- We'd be so happy to have you!"

Did he say "I"? As in like "I'd be happy to have you,"? Am I looking to into this? I mean he's the one who said it. But why did he say it? Why do I care, it's not like it effects me.

"I mean if I end up quitting, I'll have nothing better to do." I shrug. I will definitely be quitting. And this looks like fun! And I want to do something I might actually enjoy.

And the bell rings. Paul and Emma take their leave, hand in hand, without a goodbye. They're a cute couple but like Jesus Christ. Bill and Charlotte are at least cool enough to wave goodbye.

I brush the grass of the jacket I was sitting on. I can see some of the dirt on Henry's ass. I should have brought a picnic blanket, I will tomorrow.

"Hey, if you'd like I can talk to Mrs. Murray about it."

Oh sweet this is like actually happening. I'm gonna get to see the inner working of a play! Not that it could be that complicated. I shouldn't start until I know I'm definitely out of baseball though.

"Well I need to quit baseball first." I pat Henry's shoulder, he tenses up. Huh... sturdy. "I'm looking forward to the makeover, see you later." I hope we actually do that. It'd be fun.

"Bye!" Henry calls out after me. My stomach flips. That's so weird.

I turn around to catch one last glimpse of him. He's off the theatre room probably. What am I doing, Looking at another guy like that.  I can't help it though.

That's so weird.

[chungledown-bimothy]

Trust Me: Chapter 6

I’m so sorry it too so long- for some reason, I just couldn’t get into Virgil’s head for this one. Thank you so much for your patience <3 

Chapter 1 Chapter 5 AO3 Chapter 7

Warnings: swearing, mention of death/funerals, brief mention of homophobia (it’s as fluffy as this one’s gonna get, y’all)

Word Count: 2023

Tag List: @ccecode​ @emo-sanders-sides-loving-unicorn​ @ren-allen​ @ilovemygaydad​ @bloodropsblog​ @funsizedgremlin​ @raygelkitty​ @roxiefox23​ @thomasthesandersengine​ @spookyingarbageisland​ @band-be-boss-blog​

Thursday

Virgil stared at the empty conversation for what felt the millionth time, trying to find the right words. Fuck it. I need to just do this. Like a bandaid. I can do this.

[To:Patton]- Hey Patton, this is Virgil.

[To:Patton]- From your coffee shop the other day.

Fuck, that was bad. Well, there's nothing I can do about it now. He opened the case files he brought home to review, trying to distract himself, but gave up after about 10 minutes and started watching The Office for the fifteenth time. He was three episodes in when his phone went off.

[Patton]- Hi!! I hope this doesn't come across as pushy or anything, but do you wanna go out sometime? I'm really bad at communicating through text, and I think you're really cute

[Virgil<3]- it totally doesn't. Yeah, I'd love to meet up. What are you up to on Saturday?

[Patton]- Going to the de Young with you, hopefully? I have a membership

[Virgil<3]- That would be amazing!! I've been dying to go see the Monet exhibition.

[Patton]- Me too! I'll pick you up at noon on Saturday, then?

[Virgil<3]- Sounds great!

[Patton]- I can't wait! I guess I don't need to ask where you live lol

[Virgil<3]- haha yeah I guess not. I'll see you then :)

Virgil put his phone down and took a deep breath. Holy SHIT am I really doing this?? Patton's so cute, but I'm a mess. But it's Monet at the de Young, and Patton seems so… good. Like, too good for me. God, I'm really good fuck this up, aren't I?

[Patton]- Take a deep breath; it's gonna be great. There's absolutely no need to worry :)

… Holy fuck I'm so gay. Patton had attached a selfie with a huge smile and a thumbs-up.

-

Saturday

Taking a deep breath, Virgil looked in the mirror and adjusted his tie. He didn't even wear ties to work, but a date to see Monet's works in person deserved better than his everyday work attire, let alone his usual weekend outfit of a t-shirt, an old hoodie with purple plaid patches, and black jeans. He tried not to think about the last time he wore the black tie, but he couldn't shut the train of thought off fast enough.

-

It's raining. Of course it is. He loved the rain so much; it's only fitting it's raining when we have to say goodbye.

"He'd hate that we're all here being sad, you know. He'd say we were being lame and that he deserves something more fabulous. He'd also be pissed that I'm talking to you, not him, at an event about him, even if it is his funeral. So, Remy, you dramatic, self-absorbed ass, I'm standing in front of all of these people, and I'm gonna talk to just you.

First of all, I'm more sorry than I can say. You told me he would be willing to break his rules, and I didn't trust you. You were always right, and I hated that. If you were here, you'd tell me to shut the fuck up and say that I know I love you. I absolutely and completely love you. And that's why it kills me that I couldn't protect you. You weren't just my partner, you were my best friend, and I failed at the absolute minimum. God, Remy, you deserved so much better. I'm sorry I couldn't be better.

But fuck this melancholy shit. You told me once that you wanted to put the 'fun' in funeral. So, everybody," Virgil continued, addressing the crowd again, "as Remy said so often, 'let's cut the shit and drink'. Scandals downtown is ready and waiting for us to fuck shit up in his memory."

-

Coming back to the present, Virgil wiped the tear from his cheek and rolled up the sleeves of his purple dress shirt. Patton's gonna be here any minute; I need to finish getting ready.

Before he knew it, there was a knock at the door. He took a deep breath and was glad he did when he opened the door and briefly forgot how to breathe, because standing there on his doorstep was 5 feet and 7 inches of the most beauty Virgil had ever seen in one person. Patton wasn't the most conventionally attractive- whereas society as a whole prized hard lines and defined muscles, Patton was soft lines and the kindest eyes imaginable. Virgil couldn't explain why, but Patton exuded kindness and trustworthiness. He didn't realize he'd been staring until the sound of a throat clearing startled him.

"Oh, um, I was staring, huh?" Virgil asked, embarrassed.

Patton nodded, blushing. "Yeah, but I was too. You look really good."

"Thanks, you do too, but I guess you already knew that I feel that way." In his efforts to avoid eye contact, Virgil noticed the pin on Patton's shirt- simply reading 'they/them'. "Are those your pronouns?"

"Yeah, they are." Patton's posture immediately shifted- standing straighter and narrowing their eyes. "Is that a problem?"

"Not in the slightest." He smiled when Patton visibly relaxed, their megawatt smile returning in full force.

"Wonderful! Now, let's go see some art almost as beautiful as you. I'll drive." Patton winked and started walking. It took Virgil a second to remember how to breathe, let alone move, but he quickly caught up once he did. He stopped short again when he saw their car- a classic black VW Beetle in perfect condition.

"Holy shit, Patton. Your car is gorgeous."

"Oh my goodness thank you! She was my dad's."

"Like I said, it's- she's beautiful. Maintenance must be a nightmare, though. What year is she?"

"1955. Maintenance isn't that bad- my dad taught me how to keep her in shape after I came out in high school. He thought getting my hands dirty would turn me into 'a real man'."

"Shit, I'm sorry, Pat." They shrugged.

"It's no big deal. Joke's on him- I'm still queer as hell, but now I can keep this beauty in good shape. Get in! She's old, but she won't bite!" Laughing, Virgil got in the car, and they left for the museum.

-

"Monet was a founder of Impressionism as a counterpoint to Realism, which had been popular for about ten years before Impressionism started developing and twenty-four years before the term Impressionism was first used.

Realism grew in popularity with the rise of photography; artists wanted their works to look objectively real, and strove to remove emotion. They largely focused on the working class and depicted life as it was, without any sentimentality or heroism.

Monet never really bought into that. His early works works, though chronologically in the Realism era, were always painted with intense emotion, and he rarely painted people. He began playing with the concept that what we understand of reality is just our perception, and he was far from alone in those thoughts. Marx held that belief as well, going further and saying that all we have in our minds are ideologies, not facts or truths, and they act as filters, shaping everything we experience.

Rousseau died two centuries before the rise of Impressionism, but he summed up the philosophy well when he said 'I feel before I think'. Monet's paintings, while indistinct and 'messy' up close, evoke strong emotion only when one looks at the piece as a whole. We feel it before we get close enough to see and think about what it's really made of." Strictly speaking, Virgil didn't need to be speaking softly into Patton's ear with his hand on their waist, standing so closely behind them that he could feel the movement of their chest with each breath. Neither of them, however, would ever dream of complaining.

Patton reluctantly stepped out of Virgil's embrace and turned to look at him in awe. "That's incredible, Virgil. How do you know all that?"

"Oh, um, thanks. I really like art philosophy, and Monet is my favorite artist. I dunno, something about making order out of chaos is really calming."

"I feel the same way! Life is sorta like a puzzle, or Monet's brush strokes. Each one, taken individually, doesn't make much sense. We all feel and experience things like that, things that are confusing or sometimes even scary. But as we keep going, we find more and more pieces, and things make more and more sense. Feeling like a half-missing puzzle set is okay, as long as we remember the big picture. If any of that makes sense." Patton chuckled nervously, scratching behind his ear.

"No, it made perfect sense. What would you say the big picture is?"

"Well, I'd say it's doing as much good as possible. Whether it's big things, like being a doctor, firefighter, or teacher, like my brother, or small things, like putting a smile on someone's face with a pun or a good cup of coffee. It's our duty as people to make the world around us a better place, however we can."

"That's a really beautiful way of looking at things, Patton." Virgil gave them a small smile. He started to say more, but he was interrupted by the growling of his stomach. "Oh, shit. I was so nervous this morning, I forgot to eat. Wanna go to the cafe and get lunch? My treat, since you still haven't let me pay you back for the coffee."

"I told you, it was a gift! And don't think for a second that I didn't notice that you tipped almost triple what you would have paid if I had charged you." Their smirk was only slightly lessened by the fact that they had to tilt their head back slightly to make eye contact.

"You got me there, but I'm still buying. No, stop that- no amount of puppy dog eyes can change my mind."

"Well, you can't blame a guy for trying." Patton shrugged. "Alright, let's go get some food. You're already almost alarmingly skinny- if we don't get some food in you, you might disappear altogether." Patton started walking backwards towards the cafe, not breaking eye contact.

"Hey! I'm a perfectly normal weight for my height." Virgil started walking too, shaking his head.

"Which is what, 6'3? You need to eat more than the average person, not less. Skipping meals isn't good for you, kiddo."

"I know that. You're just really cute, and I got nervous," he admitted, blushing.

"Flattery will get you everywhere. Now come on, let's eat." They winked before turning around and skipping away. Virgil followed, completely smitten.

------------------------------

"Mr. Dean, a minute?" Logan called after his least favorite student. It was almost 7 pm- students on campus at this hour outside of football season was unheard of, and the last game of the season was weeks ago.

"Greetings and salutations, Mr. Reed. It's JD, though. Mr. Dean is my father." He sauntered to Logan, disdain clear on his face. Logan couldn't be sure if it was towards himself, Mr. Dean, or both.

"Yes, erm, JD, what are you doing on campus so late? Your attendance record in my class alone indicates a disinclination towards being here during school hours, let alone so late."

"That's just the thing, Mr. Reed. No one wants me to be here now."

"Ah, I see. A contrarian. It's not safe to be out here alone, however. The sun set hours ago, and there's a killer on the loose, if the news is to be believed. Come with me, I'll drive you home."

"Thanks, sir, but I'm fine. I'm a fighter, you see. Let the bastard come after me- it'll be the last mistake he ever makes."

"Save the bravado for your peers. I will not take no for an answer- if anything happened to you, it would be on my conscience. My car is in the parking lot. Go." Logan commanded.

"If you insist." He gave a mocking bow before turning away from Logan and walking to the car. If he turned back around, he would have seen a cold, malicious smile spread across his teacher's face. He didn't turn around.