#I can't believe I'm seriously using 'my art' tag

[onewingedxngel]

Sephiroth Week Day 5: Monster

(this one’s my personal favourite! You’ve all likely seen my thoughts on Sephiroth’s monstrosity/non-humanity being a not-bad thing, so it’s not hard to guess why).

And another caption I used on twitter that I ended up liking enough to use here:

Sephiroth was an experiment to exploit. A weapon to use. A monster to control. Nothing more than a tormented abomination created for fleeting human arrogance. 

Indeed, he was a monster. 

(But at least he wasn't one of 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.)

Yeah I’m really not subtle with my anti-human agenda, am I?

Also, an alternate version with open eyes:

[lwieserce]

Watching black swan gives me a glimpse of a world so foreign yet in ways close to home, i do not wish to explain it fully right now but one thing for sure, I feel like being weird and ugly growing up made me immune to the crushing pressure of perfect appearences. Does anyone else relate

[bisonaari]

Käärijä Summer Camp report

I don't really come here anymore and I don't think I'll be back anytime soon, but I still wanted to make a post about this! It's probably gonna be pretty long hahaha

Last time I travelled with my husband, but this time with the amount of things to do and people to meet, he preferred staying at home and took care of our little balcony garden <3 Thanks to him we now have a full ass jungle on our balcony lol

My flights were really uneventful. My first flight to europe was so empty that I had a full row to myself so I could have some good sleep time (albeit a bit uncomfy lol, plane seats are so hard), but that was it.

When I got to Helsinki, I was welcomed by a bunch of GOOFS omg

@mitamicah @j-restlessgeek @teal-skull @katinkulta @clovermoonspell and her friend from Norway were all there, Micah and Susanna arriving a bit earlier than me. We all went to the place I was going to share with Missy, Susanna and @kaarijalist for the next two days.

Those people. Are the best. I fucking love them so much you have no idea. Everyone I'll tag in this post is an absolute cutie that I love but I'LL SAY IT EVERYTIME Skull gave me my birthday present in advance and I just BWAAAAAHH that was so sweet ;A; It was a Jukka autograph that they got for me back in Böle (now framed in my living room ehehehe) and a custom bracelet for me, inspired by my kääryle tattoo ;A; I loved it so ridiculously much it was ADORABLE

I learnt later that day that I wouldn't be able to meet @likearainbowinthedark until much later in my trip and it was a bit sad, I really missed them ;A; Friendship at first sight during february, and now I have to wait MORE to see their face again??? UNFAIR!! And also I had made little crochet frogs for them and their wife ohoho I couldn't wait to give them to their new owners <3

We also met with @formulalakana and @carpblu at a cafe during the afternoon! I was a bit burnt out by the whole you know… flying 12 hours thingie, so I ended up going back to our place but it was still lovely meeting with them they are amazing people!!

The day after that was the actual Summer Camp meet up day!! We all met at the mural together with many people already tagged here, but also @jaarijani @smimon @icbimakb and @tuherrus !! I can't believe that we just started to talk on tumblr and we were all there???? In person??? In front of that stupid Käärijä mural, exchanging bracelets and laughing together? That was just amazing

After a group picture, it was raining too much to have a proper picnic, so we went to the Tikkurila library to actually have some time to hangout and share snacks and gifts from our countries, and draw on each other's clothes and notebooks hahaha. A really, really lovely time with everyone, I'm so happy it went so well. On one side of the room was the Summer Camp flag that Skull had made, and to me it was perfect.

I also was sitting next to icbimakb and I had some time to nerd out to them because they're my fav artist of all time and they let me look at their sketchbook and it was an honor and I don't think that my eyes will ever recover from looking at so much beautiful art. @shirtlessradfahrer arrived at about that time as well.

A bit later we were joined by @follivora @wednesdayday @king-krisu and @khihi !! They didn't stay long but it was fun to finally meet after seeing them on tumblr for such a long time !! Some of us went to queuing, the rest of us stayed to clean up and we went to the venue a bit later <3

The Backas gig was one of the greatest moments of my life. Seriously. Everything went SO WELL??? Missy, Susanna and I headed out to the vip area for the pre show meal, and the food was amazing seriously. I wish I could have eaten about 3000 more of those fucking potatoes they were INCREDIBLE. We were looking at people running for barricade with tenderness hahaha, like "Look at our children <3 So much energy". Then suddenly, Missy spotted him. The Häärijä. Chatting to people next to the merch booth. She had to stop eating immediately because she had gifts to give him, and there might not be any other occasion to do so. I also handed her the fanzines because I'm a bit too shy and I don't have anything to say to Häärijä hahaha.

Part of my Backas report in a previous post ! I'll just focus on the untold parts here

At the venue it was time to meet @hyviihommi and @omppupiiras and also @blatantlyhidden and @because-its-eurovision !!! And wait also @tmrwds and @taidotonheiluja and some more people that I don't know the url of but I know are fellow tumblr users!!

I can't say how much I loved this gig. Hugo was really great, he looks so much like jere when he was younger hahaha. Käärijä was in SUCH a great mood, he was smiling so much and having the time of his life being on stage that day I don't think I'll ever recover. It felt so good being there and having an artist in front of us who was having a blast. I was dancing with Skull and Missy (my immediate neighbours hahaha), looking at Micah and Carpblu having a blast in front of us, enjoying the music that I had been listening for more than a year now with other people who also loved the same music. It was such an experience I will never forget this. We also got Paidaton riehuja!! I did remove my shirt hahaha. If I wasn't wearing a mesh shirt and a bra I would have gone full tits out hahaha, but it was too much of a hassle. But it was SO FUN being able to take part in this!!!

I don't usually listen to It's Crazy It's Party, but live?? It's seriously top 10 of the greatest moments of my life. Seeing everyone around me going fucking insane was incredible and I wish I could go back to those moments.

After the show, we stayed around a bit to chat more. We took another group picture, who is absolutely perfect and I will cherish forever.

Our little group went back to our appartment by taxi and we missed the occasion to say taksit on jo pihalla I'm very disappointed smh

We were already losing our minds because of how well the meetup and the gig went and everyone getting to see their blorbos and have pictures and chats with them, when Missy looked at her phone and SCREAMED because Häärijä had made a story with the fanzine holy shit. You don't know how fucking proud I was. I think I looked at it for 5 hours straight hahaha. He doesn't know how a video that probably took him 5 minutes to film and post made every artist's day it was INCREDIBLE.

(this is a terrible selfie but whatever HAHAHA)

On thursday, it was matching tattoos time!! I am now the proud owner of a pineapple tattoo, matching with Missy, Jay, Cass and Micah. I am ridiculously happy to have it. I feel like we really are a weird family and I found my people. I love it so, so much.

Got to meet with @pianist-chan that day as well!! We all had a lovely picnic together as a group in a park, then one song at a karaoke bar! Micah and I didn't vibe with the bar so after a huge peak of anxiety we all decided to leave hahaha. It was lovely hanging out with everyone anyway so whatever hahaha.

Friday was the Allas gig!! I met up with the gang in the morning to go eat breakfast together, and we ended up getting @hika-chachachan at the same time after we both discovered that we're not the only french fan here HAHAHA. Sorry for everyone with us, we spoke in french most of the meal time because it was fun not having to speak in english for a short time hahaha. Later that day, we took a picture making the JUL sign, the only correct pose for cringe french people uWu

Then I went back to my hostel for a nice nap, got some food with Kat and then finally joined the queue one hour before doors. (I got to see @izpira-se-zlato and @n3ongold3n there! And also I could hug Bec again 💚) We got a pretty nice spot so I'm not disappointed! Although this time Jukka didn't notice me but it's fine I can't win everytime hahaha. The gig was also a lot of fun, nothing much to say here! I didn't realize at that time that it was my last time of this trip seeing Elsa, and I only fully realized it after she left :' ( I would have hugged you a lot harder hahaha

Saturday, Benjamin Peltonen and Erika Vikman gig with the kcord gang!! Before that I went to eat lunch with Cass!! It was sad saying bye, but I really had a fun time with them ;A; <3

I was super late for the gig and arrived after doors because that one guy in my hostel didn't realize that THERE IS ONLY ONE TUMBLE DRYER FOR THE ENTIRE HOSTEL DON'T LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AFTER THEY'RE DONE. URGH. He told me he just went to take a shower because it was taking too long WATCH YOUR GODDAMN CLOTHES MY DUDE I was so annoyed hahaha

Another session of meeting up with new people! This time I got to chat with @labda-kesho @beesgobzzzing and @dragon0blood and some more people I don't know the url of!! Anyway we had a great time! Benjamin looks like an angel, and Erika is…… you know how Erika is I don't need to tell yall HAHAHA. Everything would have been perfect without the extremely drunk girls around us spilling their drinks everywhere and literally falling on people. They had to be escorted out during Erika's part because they were way too annoying for everyone.

On sunday I FINALLY MET WITH EKO YIPPIE IT WAS TIME. I went to visit them in Espoo and ended up staying chatting with them for like 5 hours big oops hahaha we get along so well it felt like 10 minutes ;A; It was also my first time taking the bus by myself in Finland like a big girl!!! For the tram Elsa helped me so I could take it alone after she showed me how to, but the bus to another city?? That was a first one my mother is very proud

Monday, I went to Suomenlinna! When I lived in France 20 years ago, I lived right next to the ocean in a coastal city. Then we moved inland in Canada and you don't know how much I miss the ocean every single day. It's the #1 thing I miss about living in France, so I HAD to go to Suomenlinna. First of all, being on a boat again was so great, I really had missed that. It reminded me of the ferries I used to go on to travelfrom my dad's place to my grandma's place. Great times hahaha. Then I just wandered around for three hours, minding my own business and avoiding people hahaha. I sat next to the sea listening to the waves for hours. And it was the BEST. I think it cured me of 28 mental illnesses I didn't know I had.

On tuesday, I met with Eko once again but in Helsinki this time! We went to get tea together and chatted for another couple of hours HAHAHA. Teemaa in Helsinki is a lovely tea shop and you should definitely go!! I also went to the Skywheel on my way back I just HAD to yknow, Käärijä tourism

After I got back to the hostel, it was packing time to leave Helsinki for other horizons.

PART 2: OUTSIDE OF THE CIRCLE

My next stop was Oulu! So I headed out to the train station on wednesday morning to go on a 6 hours journey hahaha. At least it was a direct train, and the guy next to me was only here from Tampere to Seinäjoki, so I still had quite a lot of space for myself.

Once in Oulu, I was staying with @theplantbish and her partner. I cannot say how much I love her. There are not enough words to express this. The other people I immediately fell in love with I had already met them prior, so no surprises here! (Yall know who you are hahaha) But it was our first time meeting and it was like we already knew each other from 25 years ago. We went from total strangers to great friends in about 5 seconds, and then it took two days to have heartfelt late night conversations crying in each other's arms lol. Anyway this whole paragraph is a love letter to Plant you are amazing and I love you. I can't believe that in two weeks we got to talking on a daily basis hahaha.

Anyway, we also met with @gaysontoast because we went to pick them at the airport and WOW what a tornado of bubbliness <3 They were absolutely wonderful to have as a roommate!! (and they sleep like the dead hahaha)

In the afternoon it was my first time meeting with @submariini and @ravensofskyhold as well! I'm scared that I will run out of available tag spaces like you can only tag 50 people per post lemme count a sec ok we're at 33 still good (but absolutely ridiculous that I got to meet 33 people from tumblr in the same week??? what happened to not meeting strangers from the internet lol) but anyway all lovely people!!

The day after, it was finally time for Suomipop!! In the morning we went to pick @punanenmarli from the train station! Plant and her got back to Plant's place walking hand in hand and it was the fucking cutest shit I had ever seen ;A;

We then met at suomipop for Bess! HOLY SHIT IS THAT WOMAN GORGEOUS??? HOW DARE SHE??? WHEN SHE EMPTIED THE WATER BOTTLE ON HER HEAD I JUST

anyway I was completely normal about this show. Hm. So normal. Even during the french part in Lähtee käsistä. So. Normal.

The others wanted to go see Kuumaa during the evening and I would have loved to as well, but it was raining, I was drenched and cold and miserable and instead just headed back to Plant's place where I was soooo normal about Bess.

On friday, it was my birthday, yippie!!! The clowns from kcord (NOT PEJORATIVE IT'S THEIR NAME OK) got me a card that they all signed and I loved it so much a a a a a a ;A;

We wanted front row for the Käärijä gig later in the evening, so we were there at doors and immediately went front row, which meant that we also got to listen to Viivi and Yö ! Tbh, I really liked Yö, I understand why they're a legendary band hahaha.

However, between the two shows, Plant came back to our group and told me that Jukka. Sorsa. Was. Hanging out. In the VIP section. Which we didn't have access to lol. So we ended up just watching him from afar, when I noticed that he and his friends were leaving the VIP section and crossing the festival area. I told it to Plant who asked me if I wanted to go see him but I was like naaaah I'm shy. So she asked if I wanted her to come with me and I immediately said yes HAHAHA. We went over his little group and when we arrived at about 10 feet from him we waved, and he immediately came to us to have a chat WHAT A MAN I LOVE HIM. I was so fucking awkward (leading to this great interaction… me: "I just wanted to say hi!" Jukka: "well… hi" AAAAAAA IT WAS SO AWKWARD LOL). He noticed the earrings I made out of the guitar plecs he gave me and reached for them sir excuse me do you want me dead hahaha. I didn't say much after that but we still got a picture together that Plant took for me ILYSM

I met with Kat, Lou and their friend just before the Käärijä show and it was amazing as usual. This man knows how to perform hahaha. WE ALSO HAD THIS WEIRD MID-SPEECH SHIT TALK??? JERE WH A T???

After Käärijä, we headed up towards the other stage to Kaija Koo. I was on my phone for I don't remember what, and Plant poked me to tell me "are you on your phone? how often in your life are you gonna see Kaija Koo live??" and she was so fucking right omg. I put my phone back in my pocket and it was absolutely great, got to hold hands with Plant while dancing, seriously amazing. One of my best birthdays ever if not THE best.

We had a meal at Hesburger after everything hahaha (I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS HESBURGER), and in the not quite night of Oulu, to me everything felt so, so right.

Saturday, I got to see Kat and Lou again for souvenir shopping! I GOT THE FUCKING BEST MAGNET IT SAYS PASKA MAGNEETTI AND I'M FUCKING CRYING NO ONE AT HOME WILL GET THE REFERENCE BUT I DO AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS LOL

I said bye to Kat after that but it's so ridiculous we live in the same country LOL I should visit Toronto at some point

At Suomipop, we got to see first Portion Boys and they were so full of energy what a show!!! Nothing can stop them, not the heat, not the wheelchair, NOTHING.

Smitten, Omega and I got to dip our feet in the water at the suomipop beach and it was so needed the sun was HOT that day. The fact that we weren't allowed more than our feet in the water was a tragedy though smh

After that, it was time to my beloved ARTTU WISKARI, I got into his stuff just before flying for Finland so I was delighted he was going to be at Suomipop!! Ed came with me to see him what a gentleman lol (seriously tho I really, really appreciate it!!)

Last suomipop show for me was Elastinen! While watching him I could only think that this was the most shark looking man I had ever seen HAHAHA.

After Elastinen, the group went to see Apulanta, while I went back to Plant's appartment to pack my suitcase, sadly.

On sunday, it was time to take the train again. Plant took me to the train station and we ended up crying so much hahaha I was a mess in the train. But if it hurt so much, it's because it was equally fun, and I can't wait to see her again.

I was headed to Tampere, then Turku! Skull escorted me to my Airbnb they're so lovely ;A; We talked together for about 6 hours lol before I had to leave to do some laundry. While my clothes were in the washing machine, we explored the k-market to find some Pirkka merch but it was all gone, so I just got a lovely @windows95man shirt hahaha. COME BACK TO TUMBLR TEEMU YOU BELONG WITH US

The day after I met with Skull again to buy some Posankka merch! Posankka…… my beloved…… the most beautiful pigduck of Finland <3 I got a reflector, in true finnish fashion hahaha. We then headed up to Luostarinmäki, an open air museum on finnish craftsmanship from the past. It was ridiculously interesting and we spent 3 hours where we only got to half of the museum LOL, we're nerds. Too bad…… I'll have to come back to Turku……… so sad

In the evening we watched TRAFIK and some more Powerwolf music videos, what a great evening holy shit

Interestingly enough, on tuesday I met up with… Skull again lol, they joined me in the park in the afternoon, we stayed here for 2 hours until we left to go to a student bar to get a lovely hot chocolate <3 It was absolutely delicious!

Wednesday, last day in Finland. I met up with, you have guessed, Skull again lmao. We headed to Vantaa (because I had a plane to take r i p).

Skull and I then headed to Arttu Wiskari's Allas gig. We were quite lucky as the rain had just stopped (btw Kallo I still have the rain poncho I stole from you lol it's in Canada now sorry).

We had so, so much fun. The gig was just really fun and light hearted, everyone knew the lyrics, and it was the best ending for an amazing trip. Nothing like dancing with your friend on good music!!

I hugged Skull and cried in the train. Familiar scene, lol. Me sobbing in trains in Finland. I love you so much Kallo.

There are no words left in my heart to express how loved I felt during these 17 days. I will be back. I promise. I can't bear to not go back when I left pieces of my soul with dear friends. Take care of them please, I'll be back to put some more of my soul in them. I love you. So very much. You made my life really bright for a short time, and knowing how good it can be to be alive I want to feel this again.

To all of you, who are my soulmates, my siblings, my loved ones, my beloved: thank you.

[conkers-thecosy]

Five Fic Feedback!

Tagged by: No one! Seen this floating about a few fandoms, and decided to bring it over to bagginshield!

Rules: Pick five fics you've written, then tell us about how you feel about it vs how readers have received it!

1 - Bad Blood

My Thoughts: This one is way bigger than I meant it to be! It was going to be about 5k words and the only scene I had in my head was Bilbo biting the elven guard, haha! Readers: People really seem to love this one! I feel like feral Bilbo is always a crowd-pleaser, and this fic got much more attention than I ever expected it to! - 2 - Soldier My Thoughts: I'm really proud of this one. It was my first bagginshield fic, and it was after a loooong break from writing. Even though it's a bit weak in places, I have such a soft spot for it. Readers: I ended up re-posting this one after some harassment kicked my confidence down the toilet, but since then the reception has been very positive! - 3 - Poet My Thoughts: I'm sorry to say it, but this is probably my least favourite fic I've written. If it wasn't so popular I'd have removed it and altered the end of Soldier so it was just one fic! Readers: This fic seems to be very popular, and was the first time someone made art of my work - and more than once! I remember posting the first chapter and not expecting very much, only to come onto tumblr and see random posts where folks were super excited to see it was updating! It was such a lovely feeling! - 4 - My Ego Dies My Thoughts: I genuinely love this one, I think it's probably my personal favourite. I really enjoy playing about with the idea of "forgiveness" between Bilbo and Thorin, and this fic really scratched a particular itch for me! Readers: Probably my least popular fic - statistically, at least! I've found most folk weren't into it for one reason or another, but the people who love it, really, really love it! -

5 - Stealing Moments, Moments Away My Thoughts: I wish I'd taken more time with this one in some ways, but in others it really is the reshirement fic I wanted to tell. Again, I got to tinker with that "forgiveness" trope, and have a good look at what survival might realistically have meant for Thorin. Readers: This one is a quick read, and it's soft and fluffy, so I think readers enjoy it for that reason, though I believe some found it a bit boring. It was being updated almost daily, and the folks who were invested came back to comment and read practically every time I updated, which was just amazing to me! - 6 - Backs To The Wall (Sorry, I've written six, so I wanted to do all of them!) My Thoughts: I wrote this because it was something I wanted to read, and couldn't find. It's been amazingly fun, and I told myself when I started (knowing it was going to be fairly long - even if I didn't realise quite how long at the time, haha) that I wasn't going to take it too seriously, and I was really only writing this for myself, as the most self-indulgent kind of nonsense, ever! Readers: I can't begin to tell you how utterly blown away by the response to this I've been. Like?? It's just crazy to me how much folks are enjoying this, how excited and supportive everyone has been! I've been so grateful for everyone reading, and genuinely shocked down to my bones, haha! 💛 - No pressure tags for: @fantasyinallforms @lucigoo @lordoftherazzles @domesticgoddesswriter @thatfancygirlinwhite @lauramkaye @sass-y-squatch @mintedwitcher (and honestly anyone else who sees this and wants to do it, *waves a wand* you are Tagged!)

[fanartka]

can you tag your mid ass AI art so nobody gotta look at that crap thanks 🌹

My answer is "No."

And this is the line beyond which my patience finally ceases to be patient.

@docty-strange If you can't see beauty, then maybe you shouldn't force your radical opinion on those who don't need it.

AI is a tool with which a person can translate his ideas, his thoughts from words into an image, a way for an artist to create something in a style different from his own and sometimes adopt an idea, a well-generated fold of a patterned garment or something similar to use already in what he draws with his own hands.

This is not an enemy, not a devil, it is not even intelligence, it is a tool, like Photoshop and other programs, including programs that people use to improve the quality of screenshots and photos, by the way.

I am old enough to remember heated discussions about the idea that digital artists are not real artists, but just hacks. And although I'm not old enough to remember the Luddites, I'm sure they had very similar rhetoric when they broke machines that only improved people's lives.

Every time something new appears, most people perceive it as a threat. There are still people who blame smartphones and computers for all human ills, just as a few centuries ago fanatics believed that the devil sat in the clock and turned the mechanism. I think our ancestors, who first began to use sharpened stones instead of fists, were also perceived as something strange and threatening. But this is just progress.

The world is changing. AI isn't perfect, it has a problem with human fingers and there are some legal issues that need to be ironed out, but this thing allows people to create beauty that wouldn't otherwise exist. AI helps in scientific calculations, including medical calculations, and much more.

Oh, and thank god I don't have to buy marble, hire a sculptor, and figure out where to find space for a Strange statue in my apartment, because I can see what such a statue would look like with the help of AI.

But pestering other people with all sorts of nasty things and demanding that they do as you would like is unacceptable. Seriously, when haters come to my inbox, most of them are homophobes who claim that Stephen would never love a guy and demand that I stop disgracing him, or with statements like that.

AI can make beauty, but you can only produce hatred and bother people with your demands. If you don't like it, don't watch it. That's how the Internet works.

Take it back 🌹 You know what to do with it.

[sotwk]

Who's ready for some super amateur fanart??

I made something, and because I want to practice what I preach (learn new things, don't give up, be proud of small wins, don't be afraid to do bad art, be brave and share your work!), here goes my first "SotWK Does Art" tag!

Behold my first attempt to sketch in oh....probably 10 years?

Maedhros the Contemplative

I truly started off just trying to practice sketching with the aid of an art book. (Why I decided on a side-face, I have no idea.) It wasn't until I was done that I decided it kinda looked like Maedhros (the gaze), so I slapped on red hair. I guess my first Tolkien fanart is a Silm subject!

There are a thousand things wrong with this, but I'm telling myself it's not terrible for a first run and very little practice. (I have NOT been practicing like I said I would. Shame.) I hope I have enough patience to keep practicing, and (1,000 sketches later??) I believe I can get better! Besides, I forgot how fun drawing can be!

Btw, A.I. can't make those ugly pencil/erasure marks. XD So you know this is at least legit.

But also: I'm all for reblogging, but please don't feel obligated to reblog my practice art, guys. Seriously. We don't have to foist amateur hour on people's dashes. Save that for the real art. Seriously. Hopefully someday maybe I'll make reblog-worthy stuff.

Tell us again, Bob Ross!

[https-immotmari]

❝ Is it chill that you're in my head? ❞ ─── mari's mutuals!

WRITER'S LIST OF (DELULU) COMRADES!

in which, mari shows you who she builds friendships with even through online! also, love toya aoyagi ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

. . .@melops-postoffice! ( Lili / she/her / they/them)

or rather formerly known as liqi's-postoffice, if desire any type of manhwa/isekai type of fanfic then you'll definitely going to love her project! especially if you're also a fan of akuneko (devil butler with a black cat). of course, she's into a lot of fandoms like project sekai, cookie run kingdom, honkai star rail, etc!

. . .@sweetkiitsunez! ( Kiit / she/her / they/them )

well, kiit actually restarted her acc in tumblr so, make way for her rebirth of a acc! kiit's one amazing person even though i've only met kiit through discord but, still one awesome person! please be warned that kiit's works may have dark theme so, please be responsible in what you read.

. . .@herri-writes! ( Herri / she/her )

the reason why I found ensemble stars, no joke. girlie hasn't been rather active since I think she's busy with schoolworks and her private life (she's much older than me) though her works are quite on point. I recommend her acc for anyone!

. . .@invui! ( Yinnie / she/her )

the one I used to bully back in the server, especially when it was june back then hehe. this acc is actually her sideblog I think, with her main acc tagged there of course. I honestly recommend her acc for anyone especially if you're a fan of kpop!

. . .@bianjay! ( Keith / he/him )

this guy is one cutie-patootie once you chat/meet him, seriously! also, this is yin's kid, everyone say hi to him. he's also a kpop stan alongside his mom, like mother, like son they say. his acc is mostly reblogs about kpop, often TXT, memes, gifs, etc. though, I think he's also into some fandoms outside of kpop.

. . .@moonvityy! ( Emmie / she/her )

if i remember correctly, emmie and kiit are like the oldest among us here. it's no wonder why emmie got that mama bear vibes lol and is a lamli bennet simp fr. say hi to lamli's wife, everyone hehe.

. . .@xlvr-renas! ( Karu/Xin / he/him / they/them )

my ride and die bestie when it comes to teasing the others💗I think he, alongside with Keith, would send c'mon, baby, america memes in the serve and then due to that, I felt goofy and send a meme myself. boschi simp.

. . .@fwoomiufy! ( Miu / she/her )

ammon lead's wife, everyone! besties since we too are delulu about certain butlers hehe, though, a sweetheart one! I, alongside some in the server, send ammon fan arts and she just malfunction.

. . .@pudding-pompurin, @pluckpleepplop!

they're rather new mutuals of mine! I hope we can get along real well (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

. . .@reikaoproducer! ( Kiyo / she/her / he/him / they/them )

ngl, I'm a huge fan of their project sekai sideblog! can't believe that their main acc is mutuals with lil' ol me ヾ(•ω•`)o! I recommend any of their acc like seriously! their writing is so good and the way the scenario or story goes it's like heaven!

. . .@sukiyukiii! ( Suki/Yuki / she/her / they/them )

a newcomer in the tumblr app, everyone say hi! yuki is actually my best friend in real life so, gotta be more careful with my post since two of my bestfriends are now following me ( of course, I followed back ). thank you for the genderbent project sekai au, especially the Eizou, crumbs 💛💛💛 I recommend project sekai users there to interact nicely to her! she's a sweetheart dw!

. . .@emoszart! ( Scarlet / they/them )

another one of my bestfriends in real life now taking form into a tumblr acc. her mind is one of the reasons why I'll take HUMSS. I recommend her acc for those who want like a dark, mysterious, fantasy type of lore and drawing! she's one of the best artist, I can assure you that ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

WRITER'S END NOTE!

so, yeah! that's all my mutuals for now! overall, all are lovely people to interact with so don't be nervous around them. ′ヾ(≧▽≦*)o

[cringefail-hermitry]

I've been wanting to make a post like this for a while now, and well, having just finished a crucial stage of my life, I think this is a good a time as any.

It's gonna be a long one

Like, *LONG* long

Like, I Am Going To Mention Every Single One Of My Mutuals By Name long (if you'd rather not be tagged in the future, do warn me)

First of all, the primary purpose of this post is as a letter of thanks for the wonderful months you Tumblr peeps have provided me this year. I am not hesitant to say joining the hellsite was the single best decision I have made in the last 12 months, heck, I think about 2/3rds of the friends I mantain regular contact with nowadays came from here. But this wouldn't be a long post if it was just a brief "thanks y'all for improving my life". I'm gonna get into detail. And I'm gonna be sappy about it. You can't stop me. You're not my mother. And not even my mother could stop me from posting this.

I would've said "I thought long and hard about who I'd start with", if there was any question about it. There isn't. @tearychildren, where do I even fucking begin. I can't really say anything too specific because if I begin I don't think I'll stop and half this post is gonna be about you, and this is already a very long post, so I'm just going to leave it at this, you already know well enough just how much you matter to me.

Going onwards, another of the early spots goes to who I believe was my first mutual, definitely one of the first people I followed, @chlorohexidine, a long-time mutual and recent good friend, our daily chats, however short, never cease to be highlights of my days, your art is really cute (love me some rounded shapes) and brainstorming ideas for your TTRPG campaigns is always fun (I really like your worldbuilding, too). It's only fair to mention your (and my, just needed to make this segue well) good friend @xsenpi, infodumping touhou to you both genuinely got me through that month, and Undertale 2: Revenge of The Robots with Rei and TC has been a blast so far.

@soundsofastar is another that warrants special mention for actually changing my brain chemistry and making me appreciate the local wildlife even more than usual (if we ever meet in person, WE ARE GOING ON A NICE LONG WALK TO LOOK AT BIRDS TOGETHER, WHEREVER IT IS WE ARE WHEN THAT HAPPENS, MARK MY WORDS). Your art also makes me feel things. Not many things make me feel stuff a lot. That is impressive. I should be in a good spot to finish reading the Illuminae Files within the next few days, so please do pester me about it, otherwise the piece of media that the next person I'll talk about recommended to me will consume all the time I'd read it in.

So, the next person I'll talk about, @northwest-cryptid, thanks for letting me use our DMs as my Mabinotepad, and for getting me into Mabinogi in the first place, you've been both the direct and the indirect cause of many good times, and I gotta be honest I kinda admire you a lil' bit (and if you know anything about how I talk, I am horrible at expressing vulnerability, admiration and these sorts of emotions without a bunch of euphemisms unless I'm doing this sort of tangent where I attempt to talk about myself in a more depersonalized way, so what that sentence there essentially means is "I admire you a lot and you are an inspiration").

Another pivotal figure in how this year shaped out is @ratlesshonret, creator of The Bird Nest, site of many good times, who has exposed me and many others to some wonderful media (I AM GOING TO FINISH POCKET MIRROR SOMETIME, MARK MY WORDS), reading through all the chats in the server is usually a blast, too. Your contributions to my life cannot be understated. Seriously, thanks.

The next great friend I'll mention is @transgender-lea-crosscode, we've started talking more only recently, but have already bonded a fair bit, I reckon, damn you're good at Blazblue. You've dared to make me good at the game and for that, I commend you. You should say words about Zeroranger in my general direction sometime, I'd be happy to hear/read them.

Now for those mutuals that I don't really speak to, but are responsible for like, 75% of my total notes, like, everyone is more than welcome to jump into my DMs and start talking about anything whenever, but y'all specifically are folk I'd have started talking with regularly ages ago if I knew what to talk about. @hoshinoreika2004, @ward-leon, @edenplumreal, @tabnk2, @tapok-eve , @boofbv and @sorcerousbrick, thanks for all the lil' dopamine hits.

Shoutouts to @wretchedbirdthing for being normal about that bird, you're a blast to see on my dash and I wish you luck snapping those collarbones in twain to hear those gay little squawks.

@freiflies and @ottisbuns, alongside Tapok, Vic and Honret, y'all bring life into The Bird Nest, and although I haven't really shown up much there recently, I still read most of everything, the words are cool, keep up the good work!

@genericgirl420 and @mikusays-transrights, you two are the mutuals that suffer the least with The Distances, so let's do this in a more, well, local fashion. É genuinamente bom ver que a comunidade brasileira do tumblr está ativa e saudável, aumenta minhas esperanças de encontrar outras criaturinhas desse site maligno pelas ruas, sua presença, por si só, já melhora meus ânimos, por isso, agradeço profundamente.

Ok back to speaking in simplified Old German. This next section goes out to @lemocoffe and @teacup-of-doom, both of whom I haven't really interacted much, but what little there was was quite great, this is, in fact, an invite to do more of the interact-y thing. Y'all are cool.

Another shoutout to a frequent view on my dash, @lobotomise-me-please, whose "Boobs Girl Music" post still has 10k notes to me, I'll get back to mass reblogging it someday (if y'all wanna help, check out @boobsgirlmusic for the post, that's my Boobs Girl Music sideblog where I reblog Boobs Girl Music)

@aurora-veil, @limbuscompanyyuri and @thevanishedpeople-intothenight are up next, some of my first mutuals, y'all post good. And have been doing so consistently. For the past like, 9 months or so. That's impressive.

@meltingadoration, @holyitsquiverrflynn and @jestressofnihil, my more recent moots, there hasn't been much time to do the friendship-building and knowing each other thing, but all that means is that there's still many opportunities for that, which is cool.

Last but not least, the mutuals who I haven't quite gotten to know as well, but I'm inviting to chat anytime, @readysetgargoyle, @atlasmothss, @meeresengel, @flesh-borne, @b-kut, @aureatecenotaph, @risingdragonblade, @agender-witchery (your posts helped me immensely in figuring out gender, thanks for that) and @lich-of-lcorp. Y'all are cool, we should talk more.

And one last section for all those who I've been in touch with but aren't mutuals with, for any and all reasons (I do tend to reblog very, well, erratically), y'all deserve to be on this list, but I just didn't wanna bother you too much (I do have words of thanks to say though, if you want them, just ask).

This post is still too short to express how thankful I am for y'all existing. I don't think text could ever do it justice.

[glamphantasm]

thank you for the tag @melverie - I'll be answering these as the person behind the damaged oc, who usually inhabits @hostilemakeover territory

15 Questions Tag Game

01 - Are you named after anyone?

Nope. Literally was given "the only name your father and I didn't argue about." - the exact response I got.

02 - When was the last time you cried?

Actual deep sobbing? I can't even remember. Tears? Ugh. Playing P3Re right now. It's wrenched a couple out of me.

03 - Do you have kids?

I have dogs. And about a million oc-types.

04 - What sports do you play/have you played?

Softball as a kid. I think that was about it?

05 - Do you use sarcasm?

I'm sorry, is there other ways of communicating?

06 - What is the first thing you notice about people?

i tend to do a general sweep over them. whatever catches my eye is different for everyone - sometimes height or hair, other times an accessory or an attitude.

07 - What's your eye color?

Blue. Pale-boring-blue.

08 - Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies. I have a thing where I'm like... not great with happy endings. They make me roll my eyes too much. A good moderate ending though? A+

09 - Any talents?

I'm an excellent mimic - accents, tone, all that. I cook really well (although I think that's more of a skill - I've done it for like... ever. probably longer than a lot of y'all have been alive), I'm told I'm an excellent leader. I think that's a lie.

10 - Where were you born?

New York - upstate. not city. there's a LOT more to NY than the city, I promise. I grew up opposite Toronto on Lake Ontario for anyone who knows the geography.

11 - What are your hobbies?

Uh. Spending way too much time thinking of fictional men. That's the main one really. Gaming. I'm looking forward to the latest FFXIV expansion, and I'm kind of a whore for Persona mainline games. I try to read, but untreated massive stupid mental issues have made that almost impossible.

12 - Do you have any pets?

2 dogs! One is a gigantic labrador retriever (seriously - I grew up with these beasts. he's the tallest one I've ever known, and at 110lbs he is SKINNI), and an 85lb ball of attitude wrapped in black and white fur. The genetics claim he's pitbull/akita/pyr/chow... but I dunno if I believe it. he's an absolute freak though.

13 - How tall are you?

5f7. so, like... idk. 170cm? is that about right?

14 - Favourite subject in school?

Art and English/Literature. I loved French until I got a horrible teacher.

15 - Dream job?

I don't dream of having a job. I dream of finding an enormous drum stuffed full of cash that will allow me to waste my life chasing pleasure and fun instead of working.

tagging: anyone who wants to <3 (low/no pressure tags to @arklayraven & @daemonicdorset)

[icycream24]

Silver and Espio for the ask meme? :>

hehehe my favs hehee🤤🤤🤤

SILVER:

I think most ppl don't know, but I used to really dislike Silver when I was first introduced to this character online. Not a game, no no, but YouTube AMV vids of this dude with cutesy shippy art of Silvaze. His portrayal was so degraded to me (I was 11 at that time?) that I believed he was a self-insert character for some popular artists to ship themselves with Blaze, in the girl-boss dynamic. Ofc, I looked for more info online and realised Silver was an actual character.

At that time I was playing Sonic Riders Zero Gravity and only unlocked Shadow/Rouge/Cream. After knowing what characters were avaliable, I tried my best to unlock the rest, including Silver. I also did not like his voice in English at that time, so much that I decided to switch the voice-overs to Japanese. And I also did not like it 😂 Not because it was grading! But more like, I was shocked by the drastic difference between the two. Kid me had to decide which portrayal I prefer more (ofc not aware of narrative difference of the scripts, I just chose based on my preference) and ended up with Japanese bc I vibe with the calm seriousness in the voice more. Eventually I did get used to both voices after more exposure of this character, watching playthrough videos online.

Talking about watching 06, I was not expecting him to be so different from my first impression of this "whiny/incapable/loser" kid. Silver actually was serious about fighting for his future, like a dedicated soldier. Blaze was *not* the girl-boss, she was on equal grounds with Silver. (Really... I was like 11/12, now that I think about it, how come ppl's comprehension skills so drastically apart that we can get totally different character interpretations?) I started to find charming traits on Silver, and that was when I started looking up for this character's info more & more.

And then I discovered the Rivals series. I watched the whole thing, 1&2, and this Espio character... Wait they're kinda nice tgt. (it was year 2012?? AAAAA I can't believe I'm still insane about Espilver/Silvespio, they're my sons now at this point 😭✨) I remember using Skype and talked about the ✨chemistry✨ between Silver & Espio, and my friend said I was tripping 😭

Anyway here's Espio:

At that time I didn't have that much knowledge on Espio, I just thought their Eng voice in Heroes sounded like he's dying in a few years with how gruff & grandpa it sounded LOL. Mostly I only draw him with Silver bc I realised no one shipped these two back then. (there was ppl but there was no tags for them) So I felt like, no, impossible. I need to COOK for them! So I started shipping them like FedEx with my limited skills 🥴

My Espio appriciation was mainly started by shipping him with Silver. As I reflect on why I enjoy this ship so much, I dug up traits that I like about Espio. He was helpful, supportive, and overall has a rather peaceful way of communicating with others (aka SILVER hhh). Compared to other characters, especially in Rivals, he was really chill and kept his head clear, and unconditionally aided Silver simply bc he knew he was helping someone with a good cause. Such admirable traits that I'd say are pretty rare even irl.

Still, Espio did not have that much screen time. His portrayal in my mind I do admit was half canon, half fanon. Silly ninja with goofy teammates that values teamwork & is capable of aiding others, plus saint-like patience & wisdom. (Haha...really, a lot of his traits are get from Rivals 2, his ways of interacting with individuals was way more informative than games & anime shows combined 🤧)

But yeah, with time I like these 2 characters even more, started to make all kinds of headcanons that I won't be able to elaborate here. The texts are already getting too long here 😂 I've imagined them, either tgt or separately, in fluff/angst/spice/AU/wholesome/dead dove/anything really bc I just enjoy these two so much 💕

It's kinda selfish to say, but with how little Espilver there was during that time, it was almost like they got a clean slate & I was not swayed by any other ppl's interpretation of these two for a few years. And ofc by time these two surely became my favorite characters. LOL I realised in my busy years of not drawing often, Silver & Espio were the only characters I drew 😂

UGGGHHHAA I love these two sm 😭✨ thanks for asking hahah I wanna talk about them all day 🤧✨

[buttersmama]

Chapter 4 (667 words)

The next time they met wasn’t planned. It happened on a cloudy afternoon when yn was rushing to the library, his mind preoccupied with the student council campaign and the never-ending assignments. As he walked through the crowded school courtyard, he failed to notice the figure approaching from the opposite direction until it was almost too late.

“watch out!” a familiar voice called out, and yn’s reflexes kicked in just in time to prevent a collision. He stumbled a step back, heart racing as he looked up to see Beomgyu standing there, an amused smile on his face.

“seems like you’re always in a hurry, yn,” beomgyu said, his tone teasing.

Yn couldn’t help but roll his eyes, though there was a small hint of lingering smile on his lips. “and you’re always where you’re not supposed to be.”

Beomgyu chuckled. “Fair point. I was actually on my way to the art room.”

Yn raised an eyebrow, suspecting. “the art room? Why? Some girl asked you to come there or something?”

Beomgyu’s smirk grew wider, and he shook his head. “nope, no confessions this week, I’m kinda worried as well. But to answer your question, I’m working on something for the campaign.”

Yn couldn’t help but get intrigued, “really? Then what are you working on?”

Beomgyu’s eyes lit up with excitement, eager to tell what he has been doing recently, “designing some posters! I thought I could put some of my talent to good use.”

“I didn’t know you were well acquainted in the art sector as well, can I see them?” yn asks

“hmm, lemme think about it,” Beomgyu teased, tapping his chin in a playful manner. "I mean, I can't just show my brilliant creations to anyone, you know. They're a work of art."

Yn couldn't help but chuckle at Beomgyu's antics. "Alright, Picasso, I'll take your word for it. But seriously, designing posters for the campaign sounds like a great idea."

Beomgyu's grin turned genuine, and he nodded in agreement. "Exactly! That's why I thought it would be a nice addition to our campaign strategy. I'm planning to make them extra vibrant and catchy to grab everyone's attention."

Yn leaned against a nearby wall, his fatigue momentarily forgotten as he listened to Beomgyu's enthusiasm. "You really seem passionate about this."

Beomgyu's expression softened, and he met Yn's gaze. "Yeah, well, I believe in making things memorable, and this campaign is important. Besides, working on it gives us a chance to, you know, spend more time together."

Yn's heart skipped a beat at Beomgyu's words. He had to admit that there was something about Beomgyu's presence that he found oddly comforting. "I suppose it does."

When they entered the art room, yn was greeted by a burst of colors and the faint scent of paint. Beomgyu’s sketches were scattered across a large table, and as yn approached, he couldn’t help but be impressed by the creativity and attention to detail in each one.

“these are amazing,” yn said genuinely, his eyes still fixated on the sketches.

Beomgyu chuckled softly, and yn felt a warm shiver run down his spine. “thanks, yn. I wanted them to reflect our school’s spirit.”

As Beomgyu explains yn each and every process for creating the enchanting posters, yn notices their shoulders against each other more than once. Every accidental touch sent a jolt of electricity through him, making it increasingly difficult for him to focus on the conversation.

Beomgyu must have sensed the tension because he suddenly ceases the talk and looks up at yn, meeting his gaze. Their eyes lock for a moment, and yn feels his cheeks flush. He wasn’t sure if it was the atmosphere of the art room or something else.

Their proximity was electrifying, and when Beomgyu finally breaks the silence, his voice was softer, more intimate. “you know, yn, I’m really glad we’re working on this together.”

Yn swallowed hard, his heart ponding in his chest. “me too.”

Prev. M.list. next.

Tag List: @haocovr @hyunjin-1third @nootnootpinguuu @soobinsman

Comment something on this if you wanna be added to the taglist!

A/n: okay this chap was vv time consuming for me to write cus i didn't get how i could have yk improved their romantic interests in each other, but i think it turned out well (atleast I hope so)

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I did writing it!

[irithnova]

Can't believe I'm discourse posting again but whatever.

While I may not have 100% been on board with the uh. Rusame edging response post because I have extremely "problematic" ships myself and have described Mongolia and China's relationship as being "married/divorced" so I'm not really any better than the edging shit in that sense, I think a lot of the replies were made in extremely bad faith and some pretty nasty people took advantage of the situation in their own ways.

The person who was vagued about had the right to respond of course and yeah it can be classified as ship hate considering it was put in the tags however people are seriously running over the fact that the poster themselves are Uzbek-Korean so yeah they'd understandably have some complex feelings about Russia and America if you know even the general history. The post perhaps wasn't worded that well and was an attack on rusame simply because of a comedic analogy of the relationship made by a shipper, but that anger didn't just come from like. Absolutely nowhere.

You had people in the comments slinging fucking 4chan lingo at OP (same person who did this supports a well known Zionist in the fandom why am I not surprised) and then much bigger content creators making posts and comments about how OP and their entire friendgroup are nothing more than butthurt sjws who are pushing people out of the fandom (and I can't believe people are still unironically using "sjw" in 2024 I guess anything is possible).

Extremely bad faith actors coming out of the woodworks who have had problems with OP and their friendgroup for completely different reasons using OPs hate post about rusame and the subsequent dogpiling as an excuse to publicly lie about the nature of the friendship and how it broke down. I find it extremely cowardly that months ago, when confronted privately about bad behaviour such as gossiping behind people's backs and confronted with the fact the person she was gossipping with is a prolific emotional abuser and racist, Verta blocked everyone and said she didn't want to get involved in "drama".

Now that someone within the group - a minor no less, who barely engaged with Verta herself during the course of her contact with them group, is being publicly dogpiled by multiple big creators - NOW Verta has the courage to come rear her head, engage in drama be like "they're all a bunch of sjws who hate white people!".

If you want to go back to 2016 for fresh "SJWS/feminists OWNED!" compilations, be my guest.

I find it extremely ironic how Verta is calling OP "fandom police" when Verta herself tried to gatekeep someone's identity/relationship to China....over hetalia art. I guess it's not policing when you want to be a bigot, but it's policing when someone from a certain background has unpleasant feelings towards a ship.

A lot of the vague posting about "WOW I LOVE RUSAME SO MUCH" afterwards I think was also extremely childish considering *gestures to the fact that OP is Uzbek-Korean* so yeah. They made an angry post about rusame that should have been handled privately between them and the person they were vaguing about however they do have some extremely personal reasons as to why they may have strong feelings about it.

It wasn't just an ordinary "rusame sucks and rusame shippers should die lol!" post made by an angry rando who likes perhaps Russia x [different country] and is butthurt at the attention rusame is getting but the way people are responding with "rusame is the beat ship evaa <33" posts in response to it - you'd think that was what OP posted instead of like. An emotionally charged (but poorly handled) post about Russian and American imperialism as someone who's family/countries has been affected by both.

Again I'm not in a place to judge rusame shippers considering the shit I ship and say - you can do what you want and I actually like cold war stuff myself. I just find a few of the responses extremely childish considering the circumstances surrounding why the post was made and a few were absolutely done in bad faith in order to paint OP as being nothing more than an angry sJw!!1 when. Again. *Gestures at Uzbekistan's history with Russia and Korea's history with America*

Also. I'm sorry but rusame is the most popular ship in the fandom right now. You guys will live if (1) child who comes from that background makes an emotionally charged post about it. There's no need for an onslaught of personal attacks and hateful anons. Jesus Christ I received death threats for shipping Monchu and I didn't even respond like that.

[anfeycare]

(please help me move out)

hello! welcome to my blog!

i'm Anfey Care, a queer non-binary artist and writer! i go by gender neutral words only (as for pronouns: "they/them" — "ê/elu/-e" in portuguese)

i enjoy art and science. i'm a fan of lots of things, specially Undertale, Dead Plate, Married in Red, Cold Front, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Omori, and Adventure Time! i'm brazilian, too. you're welcome to follow me if you enjoy:

art, pixel art, animation;

books, comics, mangas;

cuteness, horror, comedy;

games, music;

indie, alternative things;

queer, LGBT+, gay stuff;

shows, cartoons, animes;

thought-provoking stuff;

nerdy things in general!

i'm fairly silly, quite gay, and very nerd!

nice to meet ya!

( ^ ꒳ ^ ) [cute face smiling*]

(*i can use text in brackets like this to describe text emojis for screen readers; similarly, i can use text in brackets preceded by a slash as tone indicators, such as: [/silly] )

💙 PLEASE, READ MY MOST IMPORTANT RAMBLINGS BEFORE INTERACTING!

🐾 ooo, look! you found a boop post! 🐾

💙 i offer ✨ custom art ✨

🖤 i don't believe in concepts like "ugly" and "dumb"

💙 you can support my art on patreon and ko-fi!

🖤 i find generative A.I.s and N.F.T.s useless

💙 my art tag here is "#anfey care"!

🖤 i don't allow reposts, just reblogs of my posts

💙 main social medias and links: ✨ here ✨

💙✨ about me: ✨

besides being a silly gay queer nerd artist and writer, i'm atypical, a furry, a fan-enby of a bunch of characters, an adult and a game dev. i'm an introverted, shy, and asocial person. somewhat antisocial too; sometimes i can be completely silent and spend weeks alone when too overwhelmed from socialization. (i'm INFP and pisces, but i don't take these seriously, although i can relate at times)

i'm completely atheist. i don't mind religion, even if i might take it as stories and thoughts, but i just don't mind as long as it isn't fanatic christian stuff — i was raised around these people and it got me very tired of those things.

i graduated on a game development technical course i took along with high school (public education, got in through an entrance exam, got in first place on the classification list), and i'm often studying things on my own, like languages. i draw, design, paint, conceptualize, illustrate, make pixel art, research, edit, write, and can animate and code too — sometimes i also try music, acting, photography, and cosplay. i'm still working on being an indie game dev; for now, i'm mainly an artist and writer

as for how i identify as LGBT+, i'm queer as in all pan aspec atractions-wise. gender-wise, i identify as pangender, which in my case includes agender; i'm transneutral and non-binary (and — it's obvious but just to mention — gender non-conforming). i usually put it all in short by just saying i'm a queer enby, or a pan aspec enby, but i don't shy away from just saying i'm gay (as in i'm definitely not straight)

as an enby, i'm also dionysian (more often known as diamoric), and any kind of relationship with me would be called this — 'cause they'd have an enby (me) in them. you could call me almost anything from the LGBTQ+ definitions and that'd still be almost fitting, but if you were to call me something accurately fitting, that's queer, pan aspec, diamoric/dionysian and enby, heheh

i could be considered legally blind, as i can't see anything a few inches away from my face without glasses (8 degrees in each lens, but i've been needing a new prescription for some years... couldn't afford it yet). i suspect i might be neurodivergent (ADHD, ASPD and autistic, mainly), and i have lots of symptoms of depression, anxiety and C-PTSD, but also can't afford to look into those. (funny fact: i managed to get in a psychology college earlier in 2024, and for a good while was studying psychology there before even being able to go see a psychologist-) (i still do deep researches about those topics of mental health)

from the way i understand relationships and concepts related to it and to living in society — understandings that have some connections to my pan aspec (includes asocial) pangender agender way of being —, i'm also non-monogamous in attractions and beliefs. i could be either in a monogamous or non-monogamous relationships romantically, though. i'd do fine in any, i can adapt quite well to who i love and/or like and care about! it could even be an undefined relationship — it all would be up to who i'd be with. (i'd develop an attachment, and even a hyperfixation on them, too, which would make it even easier for me to adapt,,, anyways-)

i know spanish and french, besides portuguese and english. i don't have a lot of practice with those other two languages, but i can understand them well (speaking portuguese helps, heh). i still want to learn more languages — for now, i'm also studying japanese, LIBRAS and ASL from time to time

i aim for diversity, inclusion and equity, specially for my games. that's a reason why i study a lot, and that's also why i want to make most of my creations available for free. and that's why i encourage you to give me support if you want, as it helps it all to be free of charge, and can give you a custom art or some cool extra content for a low tip!

i'm a fan of:

Undertale;

Dead Plate;

Married in Red;

Cold Front;

The Picture of Dorian Gray;

Elevator Hitch;

Good Omens;

The Owl House;

Omori;

Revolutionary Girl Utena;

Deltarune;

Dracula;

Adventure Time;

She-ra and the Princesses of Power;

My Little Pony;

Sonic;

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared;

Welcome Home;

Puella Magi Madoka Magica;

and the Daycare attendant from FNAF

i also like to roleplay/perform as characters at times, and used to play D&D, besides liking the RPG genre in videogames itself

as you see, i'm all over the place — i'm not completely organized, and i allow myself to let some things be messy (like tags); it's what works best for me, as far as i noticed

i like lots of things! and, though i enjoy horror, i don't make much art of this kind. plus, i create original stories, art, and characters of my own, like Safey — they're my mascot persona, and they're the fox creature on the pixel art by the start of this blog post. i have a bunch of projects i develop on my own, including ideas of comics and games! and sometimes i write poems, generally in portuguese, but i mix languages and write in english at times

i usually make cute things! whenever i happen to make something scary or with sensitive topics, i let it with the warnings i think it needs. personally, i'm positive about NSFW topics, specially sexual-related ones, in regular conditions. however, i very rarely allude to NSFW — if anything, it can be there as subtext, if i ever even include anything like that at all. to my mind, these are not NSFW, but either way: i do enjoy artistic nude art, i do like philosophically/sociologically/literarily analytical thoughts and texts that could be about/related to sexual topics, and i also do like (well, you know) horror. i take a different approach on my own art that's around these, but you can avoid it if i ever make it due to the warnings, and i hope you will use the warnings' opportunity to avoid it if you're sensitive or don't want to see it.

overall, specially for other people like me, i want my space to be a safe space

Undertale, Dead Plate, and Married in Red are my most favorite pieces of media, so i'm drawn towards them most of the time. for the characters in those respectively, Flowey and Sans, Vincent, and Bok-su are my favorites (i know, they're the popular ones... sorry, heh, i genuinely love them)

nice to meet you, and i hope you will like what i create!

thanks for reading!

see ya! ( ^ ꒳ ^ ) [cute face smiling]

[stacywaters]

Just Pretend (BEOMGYU) CH3 - New Moon

We slow as we come up on a red light.

"So... where are we going?" I ask

"You'll see" He answers.

He makes a left turn. As we continue down the road, fewer and fewer cars are seen. Finally, he slows into a small parking lot with no cars in sight.

"We're here!" He announces.

This time, I open the door for myself and step out onto the asphalt, breathing in the chilling night air.

We begin walking through the park, treading slowly over gravel paths. Our steps synchronize at a steady pace, but my heart is still beating rapidly.

The moon's glow brightens his side profile, eyes gazing down at the path before us and a subtle smile painted on his face. I didn't think about how difficult it would be to spend all this time with him, him whom I don't know all that well. I didn't calculate the struggle of pretending to date him, but making sure he knows I'm pretending. In my head, I'm not pretending. Not at all.

"So, why this park?" I ask, "I mean- it's a very nice park! Really! Just... why this one?"

"My house is near here, so I come here a lot" he answers.

"Cool, cool"

He exhales deeply, "but, I guess it also means a lot to me because it's the only place I can be..." he pauses in thought, "myself"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's not like I'm not myself with others, like at school, but I'm not fully honest either" he elaborates, "I'm still trying to make people like me. Still trying to hold up the expectations on me"

I think about it for a second. Expectations, what expectations? Isn't he perfect?

So I ask, "What expectations are on you?"

He goes silent. Was that the wrong thing to ask? He sighs, "I don't know"

"I mean, what image do you have to hold up? You're already perfect. Everyone likes you"

"That image. The image of this perfect guy with perfect friends and perfect grades and... and," he stops, "and a perfect dad"

Wrong thing to say! I keep my eyes away from him.

I start, "sorry, I didn't know"

"No, it's okay, you wouldn't," he replies, "I just can't imagine anyone looking at me and thinking I'm perfect. I'm such a mess" he laughs.

"You seem perfect to me. Seriously, your hair is better than mine and I spend so long each morning styling it" I joke.

"I do have that," he chuckles.

"You absolutely don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable with it," I say, "but what did you mean when you were talking earlier? About your friends and your dad?"

"Oh," he pauses.

"It's okay if you don't-"

"No, it's fine. I uh-, my dad gets mad because my grades aren't the best, but it's not like I'm being lazy. I guess it doesn't help that I'm trying to pursue music, he never was one for art. Always thought it was a waste of money"

"I'm sorry. That's hard, he just doesn't understand where you're coming from" I reply. I wouldn't have expected that, I can't even believe he's okay with telling me all this!

"It's just... do you ever feel like people don't understand you? Like they don't even try?" He asks, looking at me. We make eye contact. And this time, I don't break it.

"Yes" I answer before looking away, "all the time. Whenever I talk to others at school, they never really let me in"

"Really?" He asks.

"Yeah. Everyone just kinda assumes that I don't want friends. But even when I try, they never really... get me."

"Exactly. My friends don't either" He says.

"What about Yeonjun? You seemed like you were great friends earlier"

"I mean, I enjoy talking to him. But I feel like... he has better friends than me"

"Aren't you all one friend group?" I question.

"We all hang out together at school" he says, "but... I feel like I don't quite fit in with them. Like if I keep my head down, they let me tag along. But I-, I try not to be too much myself because I don't know if they'd like me if they really knew me"

"Maybe I would" I said, though it came out more as a question.

He glanced at me in shock, before it settled in a smile.

"Maybe"

-------

As we reach my front door, I pause and turn to him. He stops on the steps to the deck.

"I had a good time" I say.

He looks down as his lips tilt up, "yeah, I'm really glad we did this"

"I know that we were just doing this as pretend," I whisper, "but I think this is the first time, in a long time, that I've really had fun with-, with a friend"

He looks into my eyes for the last time that night and says, "yeah, me too"

[hanarchy]

Hi friends, I illegally logged into tumblr on my work computer on the first working day of 2023 specifically to make this post properly. I don't have a good computer and I simply could not do this on my phone.

Ok, Time to get emo :)

I discovered SKZ at the end of last year, I personally date my anniversary to somewhere between December 29th 2021 and January 2nd 2022. It's a good thing too because I get overemotional at the end of the year anyway and now I can just schedule all my gratitude and emo times at the same time.

I want to start from the beginning bc the only reason 2022 was a good year for me was this discovery. this is a bit of recap for me because I wanted to do it. If you're tagged in it it means that you played a part in my year and meant something to me. Feel free to only read your little paragraphs (or nothing at all, theres no obligation), this is bound to get unspeakably long.

first, I want to give a quick shout out to the people I started talking to/followed more recently @hyunpic (I haven's checked twitter today, did hyunjin kill you yet or did he get all of that out of the way in 2022?) @mybodyfails (did u ever listen to stromae?) @jisungsjaistandjeekies (how was the first day of your new job?) The best thing about getting another year on tumblr is the promise of getting to know you all more <3

@quokki you were literally the first person I ever followed for stray kids content. It was around february, when I looked for fanart for the first time and reactivated my twitter and I found your hannies. It took a little longer but I'm so glad we are friends now. I really love our chats/meltdowns abt hanji and you're incredibly talented and kind and also just correct abt a lot of stuff lmao

@alexenglish alex, I know we don't talk that much but you were the first person to really talk to me abt k-pop stuff and I will never forget that. I also cannot thank you enough for showing me rolling quartz and for reading the stupid thing that i wrote that one time. it seems trivial but i literally do not show anyone my writing ever and anytime I do and it's a good experience it makes me a little braver so thank you, seriously. and also thank you for sticking around even when I'm a dick

my first comeback in march was soso special because I had people to freak out with. I was in Ireland at the time and even hough I was brand new in online stayville I felt a lot less alone than I could've.

in april i started talking to @sailsflyseaward but I honestly can't believe it has only been 9 months. We've met 3! times since then and you're already one of my most precious online friends and I feel like I've known you way longer. I have to try very hard to stay cynical and not believe in fate and the universe being a good place when I think about how we could've just never met.

I was EXHAUSTED the first 4 months of this year, I hated most of it. I turned 30 in april, i had been to ireland and to the north sea on vacation in march and april but all of it felt hollow and exhausting and terrible. In germany we say that may makes everything anew and it certainly was true for me this year. I planned a trip to toronto, I got a raise, I got to see mamamoo, ive and a bunch of others live and i spoke a little to so so many sweet people.

@nevoono who makes literally the cutest fucking things ever and was my first german k-pop friend ever and also is just... really cool in such a unique way. idk I'm sorry I'm terrible at keeping up.

to @ambivartence who I don't talk to a ton but who also is literally the coolest artist alive and made me feel very happy to know that others also travel very far to see their groups. I stare at your paintings so much, i honestly should not admit it but there's just always so much to see.

and to @pvddins-art who is one of the sweetest and kindest and most generous people I've ever met, which is a high bar because I use those words for a lot of people, but for you they are more true than for anyone.

getting to go to a k-pop festival in germany as my first experience was so good too. I really had no idea what it means to ba a k-pop fan and the whole community and culture and incredible vibes around it when you're there in person. I had a very exhausting day and it was hot as hell and I had a migraine after but it was all worth it

interlude because I don't remember when I started talking to you:

@brianbangs tay my sweetheart, i love you so much. you're just one of the people who get it. like. idk, it's hard for me to put into words properly but you get it when I'm being a hater and you get it when I'm being emotional and you get it when I'm being horny and you accept all of it. I also think you're really fucking creative and talented and I love being here with you so much

then june came and it was one of my best months ever ever. I went to another festival and got to relive the music I loved as a teen. seeing the strokes 16 years after I was a fan made me cry a lot lol. I went to see my favorite people alive @starmotions, @fromadifferentphase (and the third one who is missing but u know who u are) in toronto. and I do mean this literally you're my favorites. I'm the most me when I'm with you, I think of everyone who knows me no one knows me so completely. there isn't anyone I share more parts of myself with. the 1 week I just got to hang out with you was so incredibly precious to me, it made me power through most of the rest of the year. moments of joy! I got to see toronto and got to spend time with people I love. one of my friends came all the way from salt lake city just to see me.

then I went to new york and now there's a long ass list coming because 1. it was the first time I met my beloved julia, 2. it was when i met my beloved kay 3. i got to travel with my beloved di and we got to explore new york and eat so many tacos and learn about queer art and history and also it was when I met both

@chanstopher and @lonelystreetlight and I'm puting you both in the same paragraph bc I started talking to both of you at the same time and also discovered that we're literally the same tumblr user, I cannot believe that I found the old 1D crowd again and the old glee crowd AND even the old starkid people. ok, I had to google the songs from the space tour just now but it's insane that I could text someone about both status quo by starkid AND zone by 3racha.

and lastly it was OF COURSE when i fucking saw fucking stray kids in fucking person (sorry) I was so numb from everything going on, and from the heat and from newark airport that I didn't even cry but looking back on it I honestly can't even begin to believe how lucky I was to be able to do all of that in just one month.

july was the month I went to see harry styles (meh) and hang out with an old friend because of it (yay) and I have literally nothing else in my calender for the entire month but I know I was a bit stressed. however I don't think it was a terrible time.

In august I went to the south of germany on vacation to celebrat my moms birthday, we went to the opera outdoors and I felt extremely fancy the entire time and also saw so many flowers. then we started the stayblr discord.

@snug-gyu @hanjesungs @ggthydrangea @littleclouds @shmalll @babychicklix and everyone else in there! I am so glad it's a space to hang out and message each other and talk about skz. I know I left very quickly (unfortunately group situations are terrible for my mental health and I felt very bad very quickly) but I still got to start chatting with so many cool people and I'm always so happy that we did that.

@bangchanies king of the dumpster that is new jersey, my absolute favorite eyeshadow model and another one of the bitches that just get it, u know? you just get what I'm trying to say and I am grateful to have you to text when I want to be annoying. (you're also secretly incredibly sweet and I think you're honestly just a very kind and empathetic person and i would be sadder without you but i will not tell anyone that you're secretly nice)

@cheekyquokka even though you're not IN the server, I feel like we started really talking around the same time so you're getting put in here as well. you're so generous and sweet to your friends, I remember the surprise and amazement from both bee and ale at the packages you sent them, you're such a great fucking mutual to have because you know yourself and you make really cool gifs, every time one of yours comes across my dash i know it. idek why. anyway, thank you <3

around september was when I finally started the group chat and seven made it complete, so here comes that bit. I needed to make sure you all know how much you mean to me.

@bourgeoix I swear in some off-kilter way we are soulmates. you make both my fandom brain and the little kid that didn't know popstars but could draw the shape of gorbachevs blood spot feel at home. you're soooo fucking smart and we have like debated moral philosophy and learning and reasoning styles at length so I won't go into it but it's one of those amazing fated coincidences that we both befriended seven and then each other. you think it's cool that I live near to Olaf Scholz's barbershop. you're my favorite of all the nerds. I could read the stuff you write for years and years and never get bored. I need to eat your brain (as jace or seven would say) and I love that we get to be both smart and very very very dumb together.

@hyumjim I honestly cannot top what mel said but you're like. my only grown up friend. You genuinely have a patience and kindness with people that is really hard to find. I know you don't show this to everyone but it makes me all the more grateful that I get to experience it. you're also insane. when seven first added you to the gc I had sth to say that felt really crazy to me and was nervous in front of you and seven said 'emily is also insane' and so i posted it in the gc and now we're friends. i don't remember what it was but you gave great advice and i sort of feel like we disagree and fight in all the ways that makes a relationship better and you make me insecure but in a fun way. you're a huge hater and yet you genuinely love people and humanity more than most people alive. thank you for listening to me.

@jellino jace idek how to describe you but you're like....... my little brother but not in a lame way. you're also older than me in some ways. idk, I just love how much you love stuff. I love how sure you are of what you're not, even while always wondering what you are. I think of you so much when I see sea creatures and ice age characters and dumb stuff. the other day I saw a squirrel irl and i thought 'I have to send this to jace' bc it reminded me of scrat from ice age. i cannot look at a penguin without thinking about you. I don't think I'll ever go to a zoo and not think of you. I also am always hoping that you are ok, that you find your way, that you know I'm happy and proud to know you...

@bewby my love. seven. I think it will never not be complicated how much I love you because I want you to be ok so bad. but it doesn't matter if you are or not for me to love you a whole lot. you're so funny and so smart and I say neither of these things lightly, like you have such a quick wit and you want everyone to be ok so bad and you love people so much and i hope that some day you will know that it is enough and you are enough. meeting you that one time was so fun, like we literally did not need more than a half hour to find sooo much stuff to talk about. I love having a german kpoppie friend, I love your tender heart, I love how understanding you are! I hope you know how much!

honestly it's all 4 of you that got me through fall and winter so far, it's venting and bitching and joking and writing insanely long messages to you that make me feel like a human instead of a gremlin. It's knowing that you like me and think I'm someone you want to listen to. You mean so much to me, I can never pay that back.

so much happened in my personal k-pop world in october PLUS most of my friends had their birthdays too so it was a bit stressful and it ended with my great uncle dying but i did get to see my old friends and family, so it was good in the end.

november was cold and dark as always but i got to feel so much warmth in scotland, just spending a few days going to museums and coffeeshops and nothing else and then seeing my love julia for the scond time, learning about history and eating pies. then I went to london to see @sunflowercocoa again after 5 fucking years and it was so much fun. I know you know how much I love you, I had such a good time, thank you for being my friend. Thank you for making me leave the house, thank you for being generous and fun and spending time with me. I know you're strong enough to get through the next year or so and I know you're gonna be so happy and so successful and you have a great life ahead. I know you're not here much anymore and that it kind of annoys you but you were a big part of this year and this is like my diary at this point tbh.

i also met @geniaparadox my homie and so much fun to hang out with. honestly our day together kind of made me wish i could've gotten to hang out with you in high school, i feel like we would have been friends. thank you for talking to me abt how underrated felix is and for looking at the bts stuff in hmv and despair because being a k-pop fan in europe is very sad and for buying japanese tea and just being cool. i am so happy that you get to not go back to that job

december was november but worse but I started it off sososo well, seeing julia the 3rd time and going to nuremberg and munich and being slightly tipsy at the christmas market everywhere and going swing dancing for the first time and trying so many fun food and drink things. It was a sad and anxiety-inducing month because so many people I know were ill or dying but in the end we mostly made it through and I am grateful. I got to spend the end of the year surrounded by babies and puppies and it felt good to not have to deal with grown-up things for a few days and just play.

[escape-from-arcadia]

Today is my 18th birthday and I'm going to post some sappy and "cliche" shit here because I'm legal now and because I can.

If you told me five or six years ago I'd live to 18, I wouldn't believe you. I've always had a hard time imagining myself in the future, and there were genuinely times when I thought I wouldn't make it to adulthood, that my story would end short. But I'm here. I'm still alive. Very tired, but very alive.

But there are a few things that stay constant throughout your life, things you can almost always be certain of. For me, that's always been writing, art, music, and TOA.

I've mentioned it before, but I started watching Tales of Arcadia when Trollhunters first released. I saw an ad for it on YouTube, thought 'ooo pretty animation', and watched it. I was not of age to be on social media, so I never really joined the fandom or kept up to date on news about the series until 2021 when I realized "Oh shit I've never searched up the 'trollhunters' tag on Tumblr even though I've been on this hellsite since 2019 whoops". I didn't really get merch, books, or toys (because the thought those might exist never crossed my mind either).

But despite that, I loved the show and the story it told with my whole being.

And since then, I've kept up with each season and each new series. This series was there with me during the most awful years of my youth, and these characters mean the world to me. To me, part of the charm of TOA was brilliant blending of the mundane with the magical and extraterrestrial. I can't quite articulate it at the moment, but there's something about that and finding hope, strength, and light in the darkest of places that makes me feel so at peace.

The fandom isn't as roaring loud as it used to be (and the discourse is hnn), but I managed to make a few friends here. I've also had not-so-great experiences and found myself on the less-than-pleasant side of the fence, but I'm working on learning and growing and becoming a better person, and I'm making new friends too.

TOA is going to continue holding a special place in my heart, and I look forward to keeping a part of it with me into my adulthood. Obviously the important things, like Jim's cooking skills, Claire's intelligence, Toby's knowledge of geology, Aja's shredded bod, Krel's immaculate music taste, and, of course, Douxie's gender. But in all seriousness, I'm carrying the lessons I've learned from the show and being in the fandom along with me into adulthood.

Now, Netflix, can you please greenlight some TOA shorts? Please, please, please? Would really appreciate it.