#I cant sleep help me

[littlespacefella]

Me 24/7

[wjehfshs]

I forgot to take my meds so I’m gonna do some silly short imagines/scenarios with COD and DBH characters x reader

Warnings??: swearing. Cringe and uncreative :3, but I’m having fun so… reader being chaotic and silly

Mentions of smoking/cigars at one point and blood at one point but not too bad

A really fucked up looking cake made by reader and Connor

Somewhat Connor x reader

Price being basically the dad of everyone

Hank and Connor being the best father son duo

Hank kinda being a father figure overall

Hank also creating an abomination

OOC Connor??? Sorta??? Idk if headcanons about Deviant Connor count as OOC we don’t really see much of Deviant Connors personality.

COD imagines

Reader: who’s got their hands on their favourite food and they’re devouring it (may or may not be inspired by me at dinner earlier today)

Everyone else: looking on in fear and awe, their food basically untouched as reader is basically oblivious to the world

Soap: “Jesus fuckin Christ lad/lass, could ya slow down?! It’s givin’ me a stomach ache just looking at ya”

Reader: who stops dead in their tracks, food stuffed in their mouth as they are mid chew, fork with more food on it held up in midair as if they are about to take another bite. And they start slowly chewing again as they slowly descend back into their episode of shovelling food down their throat

Soap: “that’s fuckin it, bloody hell im eatin in my room” as he picks up his plate and walks off

Reader: walking back inside with a plastic tub that seems to be wet and heavy.

Price: “what have you done this time.”

Reader: “noooothing” they smile a little to themselves as they try to conceal their laughter

Price: “let me look in the tub. Now.”

Reader: backing off not wanting to make him angry.

Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Rudy, Alejandro, and Graves: All siting peacefully in the main area.

Price: in the background “Why the fuck did you bring a fucking baby Shark inside?!”

Ghost: covered in glitter, absolutely pissed beyond belief “would you like to tell me why there was a bucket of glitter sat on top of my door?!”

Reader: “well that’s actually a funny story you see…” starts booking it in the opposite direction

Ghost: chasing after them at full speed, still covered in glitter, leaving a glitter trail behind him.

Everyone: very confused as to why there is a glitter trail eventually leading to a locked door with a glitter covered Ghost banging on it with reader crying/laughing behind it out of both fear and it being the funniest shit they have seen all day

COD headcanons

I like to imagine Gaz really likes Beyoncé so if he’s ever put on cleaning duty he will wait until everyone’s asleep and he’ll listen to Beyoncé with his headphones on while cleaning, he’s definitely been caught a couple times by Price or Graves or something. He never lived it down but it still didn’t stop his love for Beyoncé.

Soap really loves olives, like, REALLY loves them so much so to the point where every time they get a supply of Olives they have to lock them away so Soap doesn’t take them too his room and eat them all in one sitting (side note: I hate olives, I really fucking hate olives)

Ghost likes hello kitty because it reminds him of the softer things in life (which he doesn’t really get to see much I can imagine) so back at home he has a bunch of hello kitty stuff such as plushies all placed neatly on his bed along with some other stuff like bed sheets, but he refuses to take any of it with him on missions even if he can keep it in his room in the Barracks because he’s just so scared that if the Barracks get attacked his plushies will either get dirty/bloody or straight up “injured” and he just loves them too much to let that happen, just quietly he thinks if that where to ever happen his entire world would fucking crumble in front of him (self inserting myself a bit bc I love my plushies this much too and I love hello kitty)

Price although he smokes cigars he knows how it can make Gaz worry (worried son moment frfr) so he’s trying to stop so he’s taken up chewing a shit load of gum. He will sneak in an occasional cigar if he gets too stressed out on a mission. He just needs that relief for a second but he swears he’ll stop next time (he doesn’t).

Soap likes to collect bath toys, ever since he got his nickname “Soap” he’s taken a liking to collecting bath toys (specifically rubber ducky’s) whenever he’s back at home.

Graves is a full blown homosexual but he’s too scared to admit it so he denies it every time.

DBH imagines

Hank: getting home after reader and Connor (deviant Connor, sorry I really only write deviant Connor bc he holds a special place in my heart and any kind of Connor hurts me) get a day off “Hey im homeeee…”

Reader: covered in flour and butter

Connor: the ends of his fingers are charred black a bit from the oven and he has icing bits in his hair

Reader and Connor collectively: “We made you a cake! :D”

The cake in question:

Hank: literal fucking tears in his eyes out of pure terror and stress. “…Thanks guys, I’m not. I’m not hungry right now but I’ll eat it later” as he slowly shuffles to his room with a shell shocked look on his face.

Connor and Reader: Looking at each other with the stupidest and biggest smile on their faces.

(This is inspired by a tik tok audio)

Connor: who’s deviant but is still used to being a machine so he analyses every single little thing. He walks up to reader. “You’re hair smells different today, did you use a different shampoo?”

Reader: slowly turning around with a scared smile on their face. “That’s actually really… creepy”

Connor: (in his head) “creepy? Am I. Creepy?” But on the outside he looks like he’s on the verge of tears

Reader: who sees his expression and immediately hugs him just to assure him they’re not mad just giving him a heads up that it’s kinda weird, they still love him tho (either platonically or romantically)

Hank: in the kitchen making something

Connor: “Hey Hank, what are you making?” As he makes the mistake, the traumatic life changing mistake of looking in the pot

Hank: who’s boiling fucking raw chicken with nothing but hot water. “Chicken.” He says bluntly as he cleans up and puts the chicken on the plate and eats it while it’s completely unseasoned and practically raw

Connor: from the sheer shock of the encounter he goes into overload and he’s getting warning systems all over telling him sometimes wrong

Reader: who has to sit Connor down as they try not to gag from Hanks creation he dares to call a “meal”

DBH headcanons

Neither Hank nor Connor can cook for shit so 90% of the time it’s either microwaveable food or take out for Hank.

Since Connor turned Deviant he developed social anxiety but when he’s around people such as Hank or reader he’s so silly, he gets so stupid and funny it’s so cute to see him like that (I want to squeeze him and put him in my pocket then have him surgically inserted into my heart permanently I love him so much)

Connors autistic

Hanks Bi

Connors Pansexual

Connor and Hank so father son activities such as play catch outside and walk Sumo (with reader ofc)

Hank had his house renovated to have an extra room put in for Connor (and if you also want to live there an extra room for you but if your romantically in a relationship with Connor you would probably just have a bed put in Connors room and Connor, although he doesn’t need sleep, he’ll go into sleeping mode with you on the bed as you two cuddle)

Connor saved up enough money to buy a phone so once he got it all set up the camera roll is just filled with pictures of Sumo, other dogs he saw in public while out, him and Hank taking selfies, Hank who once got drunk and stole his phone and took pictures of himself, you and Connor selfies, (if you two are romantically together, sometimes just pictures of you, many, many pictures of you) and, you, Hank, Sumo and him all in a photo together. Maybe a couple of photos with his other friends too such as Markus etc etc but it’s mainly those.

Connor love’s physical touch, platonically, romantically, all of it. Every day he gives Hank a good morning hug, and a good night hug (best son ever fr) and every time he sees you he squeezes you into a tight hug and won’t let go for a good minute (if you two are in love he’ll also pepper your entire face with kisses for that entire minute finishing off with a smooch on the lips)

Ok that’s all for now, I love Connor fr he’s my favourite I would die for him.

I know this was super cringe but I had sm fun doing this.

Ok it’s like 2AM I should go to bed

Bye bye!

[taikanyohou]

at this point all shreds of my mental stability have gone i am just an empty vessel waiting for vegaspete in ep 12 to fill me up ready to overflow.

[chaosandthe-deadblog]

3am thumbs up emoji

[maibeloved]

30+ year old coworkers sure are comfortable with each other

[fairyofshampgyu]

Been in a dom gyu brainrot lately I HAVE BETRAYED MY ROOTS IK IM A DISGRACE 😟😪 IT WONT LEAVE MY MINDHSJ ITS PAINFUL BUT ANYWAY SHORT DISCOMBOBULATED DRABBLE

Thinking about high sex w stoner boy beomgyu with piercings ! whose always known to get into some kind of trouble all the time, always mischievous and teasing and your friends saying he’s bad a influence on you and you shouldn’t hang out with him that much but you still do and don’t listen to them, always dismissing and saying you have absolutely NO feelings whatsoever and that it is PURELY platonic despite harbouring the most intense feelings for this guy sigh…😟 but you know he’s only trouble and probably doesn’t like you that way so you just kinda ignore it.

But one day you find yourself in a random quiet empty bedroom at a college party with him, sitting on the bed together as he smokes a joint and you both talk and laugh about random shit away from the mess of a party going on.

Beomgyu nonchalantly offers you his joint and you, slightly timid stumble and admit you’ve never tried it. Beomgyu only grinning at you, eyes lighting up at that and insisting that you should at least try, saying he really wants to get high w you and that it would be so fun with you, saying that he’d make you feel safe, it’d just be the both of you you trust him right? You’re good friends after all 🤷‍♀️.

And so you awkwardly take the joint, doing what he tells you to do, a bit nervous and embarrassed and still confused despite the simple introductions. Beomgyu chuckling at you and coming closer to you as he decides to just hold the joint for you instead and places it to your mouth, guiding you in and it feels way too intimate with the way he’s looking at you as well.

It doesn’t take long before the weed starts to kick in, both of you taking long drags and passing the joint round and you guys getting extremely high off your asses, anything and everything becoming funny.

“Heyyyy, heyy gyu. What’s shotgunning? I’ve heard it before idk what is is thoughh. What is it?” it’s a genuine curious question your stoned self asks and beomgyu’s eyes widen for a split second before he’s smirking widely and raising a brow at you.

“Could show you if you want~” And you nod your head rapidly, stoned self just so curious and innocent, it’s hard for beomgyu to contain himself.

He cups your cheek and comes even closer to your face, lips very lightly grazing at yours but enough that you can feel his snake bite lips rings faintly on you as he smugly puffs the smoke into your mouth, his eyes not leaving yours as he grins, hand still softly on your cheek, your mouth hanging open as you gasp loudly, not believing what’s even happening rn.

“Come on now it’s only fair you do it to me too right?” Beomgyu sits back, and stares at you, ego a bit too high rn as you hesitantly shuffle closer to him, feeling your face drastically heat up and you take a drag nervously, slowly inching towards him before beomgyu’s impatient self sighs and pulls you into his lap so sudden and harsh you yelp.

You take turns shotgunning, lips faintly touching but never enough, your brain and the room clouded over with curls of heavy smoke and weed as you breathe heavily and your face is still so heated up, eyes half lidded. Beomgyu finally pulling away and stopping, softly giggling and asking if you get it now.

Your baked ass then touching his lips, running your fingers over his lip piercings, eyes crazed and babbling about how hot you’ve always found his snake bites hot and beomgyu chuckling at that, both of you staring into each others eyes and looking down at your lips that he finds himself smashing his lips with yours, making out intensely but sloppily for what feels like hours, beomgyu hovering on top of you as his rough kisses start to trail elsewhere and you can’t help whimpering his name as he sucks hickeys and goes even further to your collarbone and his hands roaming practically everywhere, him still teasing you until you’re pleading that you need him so bad and right now.

Not even a breath later and he’s fucking into you with frantic urgency, not bothering to take either of your clothes off, settling for quickly pushing his baggy ripped jeans slightly down and pulling your panties to the side, lifting your shirt up so he can see your tits jiggling as he practically pounds into you erratically, hips smacking with yours as he moans even louder than you the entire time, rubbing his thumb over your clit, still making out with you and smelling the strong scent of weed from each other, still so dazed and both your minds fogged even more sensitive because of the drugs, everything feeling 10x stronger as he desperately tries to make you cum on his cock and it’s not long before he’s coating you too and fucking the cum back into you, fucking whilst stoned so messy

Then you wake up the next day, trying to remember what even happened, freaking the shit out and ready to run away any second, nearly leaping out the bed but beomgyu only pulls you in closer, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist so you can’t escape, sleepy and stupid grin on his face, mumbling about how he hopes you don’t regret it and that he definitely doesn’t

“Hmm~let’s skip classes today and cuddlee. You’re so comfy.”

“You’re always skipping classes, choi beomgyu.”

“So what?! You still like me hehe”

“When did I ever say I liked you?!”

“As if I wouldn’t notice. You’ve been giving me heart eyes for ages. It was cute loll. You were so bad at hiding it~”

[rudeboimonster]

~help your local rat get stable housing~

edit post nov 2023: I GOT THE HELP I NEEDED THANK YOU SOSOOSO MUCH

dramatically sprawled out on the floor

so i gotta move for the third time in that many years. unfortunately between health problems and the General State of The Economy, I have been unable to find work to be able to save any money. i have no choice but to leave the entire state. i thankfully have somewhere to go, however I need help getting there. i've been trying to do the math to get what I need to its lowest amount possible, but even that is still at least $2.5k.

after this move, i should be able to get things more stable and I might even have a couple job prospects lined up in that area, but right now I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel funds wise and desperately need help.

if you're able to spare anything, i've set up a goal through kofi so i can track it publicly. i have trouble asking for help but i really need what help i can get. thank you, so so so much.

[freaky-flawless]

Dead Tired Honey Swamp

Shout out to @deuces-stone-cold-style for the nightgown inspo!

[wh4tsh1sn4me]

i saw this in a dream and then woke up in a cold sweat to recreate it as best as i could

[spaciebabie]

ARE YOU ALL GONNA KEEP LETTING ME GET AWAY W/THIS?!?!?!??!?!?! also ourple under the cut cuz i think it looks cool

also heres the sketch tee hee

goodnight

[skywalker42]

What people think ADHD is:

So I went to my room to grab sticky notes to leave my roommate a reminder on the dryer but then I saw my week old mug on my nightstand so I went to put it away and then when I was in the kitchen I realized there's no room for it in the cabinet and now I'm measuring the wall for shelving units.

Which, yeah, it is that. It's definitely that. But it's also this series of texts I sent to my friend this morning:

[daftpatience]

one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it

[brainworms-all-night-long]

Four of them :]

[abhainnwhump]

Whumper shows sensitive Whumpee a series of horror images/movies/jumpscares and now they're too paranoid to sleep from it. Even if they do go to sleep, they could still have nightmares about it.

[silenthillbunni]

listening to nin dont know if im gnna cum or blow my brains out or stab someone

[hayakawapartner]

aki with a s/o with chronic pain . . .

!!! this post is sfw, but minors dni with this post/blog !!!

notes: gn!disabled!reader, this is self indulgent i tried to make this fitting for more general chronic pain! reader might come across as ehlers danlos-coded (is that a thing?? weird thing for me to type)

aki is already so sweet and caring with you, of course he would be helpful when your chronic pain flares up.

he notices that you’re moving a bit slower, taking shorter steps, taking a longer time to get up from your seat… and he’s immediately there to help

VERY quick to ask what you need, but he also tries to offer your usual solutions

“where does it hurt? do you need a heating pad? painkillers? tiger balm? do you want me to run a warm bath?”

if you have fluctuating mobility/occasionally use a mobility aid, he does his best to keep everything in a convenient spot for you. crutches near the bed so you can slide your arms in and get up with a bit more ease, rollator in a place where you don’t trip but it’s easy to access…

he was initially Overly Careful with you so he didn’t aggravate your pain further, but as he grows used to your needs, he’s still careful but he’s not scared of breaking you like he used to be

kisses the back of your neck while gently massaging your sore joints/muscles, murmuring soft “i love you”s and “you’re gonna be okay”s while he’s rubbing tiger balm onto your sorest spots

if he hears your joints pop he gets really nervous until you specify if it was a good/bad pop

if a spot is too sore, he won’t touch it in case he hurts you even more.

and if you just Can’t get out of bed for the day? he calls off from work to take care of you. brings you comfort food, helps you to the bathroom when you need it, makes sure you’re hydrated and taking your meds…

SPEAKING OF MEDS. this man is so good at reminding you

“did you forget to take your meds? maybe you should take them now, love. it’ll help you feel less sore.”

he’s very careful to make sure he doesn’t shame you for forgetting meds, for needing help, for being in pain. he just does whatever he can to make sure you’re okay and empathises with your complaints about your aches.

while he hates seeing you in pain during a flare-up, he becomes extra doting just to make sure your needs are met. cooks your fav comfort meal, makes sure all your pillows are soft and arranged to keep you comfy, refills your water bottle whenever it’s almost empty, etc.

he’s just so loving… aaauuuu