#I did my best with the translation but it's never quite possible to reach the beauty of the poet's original chosen words

[useless-catalanfacts]

Here's a beautiful poem by Salvador Espriu (1913-1985). I'll first add the original poem in Catalan, and below I have translated it to English.

POSSIBLE INTRODUCCIÓ A UN EPITALAMI Bodes d'uns amics, a Sinera

Durant el llarg estiu hem vist cremar molts boscos al nostre vell país tan desarbrat. Quan tramuntava el sol, de l’incendi del vespre s’alçaven foc que lentament obrien les amples portes de la desolació de la nit. Ronden garbí o migjorn: sempre, sempre el sec alè del vent damunt els camps. L’eixut estroncà dolls, arrasava collites, endinsa en el record fressa de pluja per vinyes i rials, camí de mar. Però segueix, tristesa enllà, el designi de vida, car fou escrit que l’amor venceria la mort. Ara un home i una dona joves resolien casar-se, i nosaltres acollim somrients el coratge dels qui confien que hi haurà demà.

English:

POSSIBLE INTRODUCTION TO AN EPITHALAMIUM A friends' wedding, in Sinera

During the long summer we have seen many forests burn down in our old and so tree-less country. As the sun was setting, a flame would raise from the evening's fire which would slowly open the wide gates of the night's desolation. The South-west wind and the South wind* patrol: always, always the wind's dry breath on the fields. The drought dried up streams, destroyed harvests, drove in the memory of the rain's sound through vineyards and riverbanks, towards the sea. But, on the other side of sorrow, the plan of life continues, for it was written that love would defeat death. Now a young man and a young woman decided to marry, and we welcome with a smile the bravery of those who trust that there will be a tomorrow.

*the South-west wind (garbí) and the South wind (migjorn) in the Mediterranean are hot and dry winds that blow from the Sahara desert.

[writingforstraykids]

hiya! i'm still pretty new to your blog but i really like your writing! english isn't my first language but i hope my request is still understandable ^^

m!reader (with they/them pronouns if possible 👉🏻👈🏻) is best friends with chan. chan praises the reader in some way and figures out that they have a praise kink so he just keeps praising them to make them flustered all the time (bonus points if he throws in the classic 'good boy')

oh and i wanted to ask if i could maybe be 🦖 anon?

thank you!

It's always been you

Pairing: Chan x m!reader with they/them pronouns (mention of Minsung)

Word Count: 4301

Summary: Chan and you have been best friends for what feels like forever. You long for more, not knowing that Chan feels the same. Minho and Jisung decide to lend you a hand the way Chan and you did for them.

Warnings/Tags: friends to lovers, fluff, slight angst, smut, teasing, praise kink, dry humping

A/N: I know we've talked a while ago about this request but I hope I did your wishes for it justice, my dear🖤

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

You hum gently to yourself as you make your way back home, scrolling through your phone as you try to find a good song. A smile covers your lips as your best friend's voice rings through your ears and you can't help the warm feeling spreading through you. Chan invited you over for a movie night with the boys, and you couldn't wait to spend time with them…or him. Being around Chan made you feel things you never felt for anyone else ever before. Those soft brown eyes, beautiful smile, and warm hugs made you feel so loved. You know there's no chance he would ever love you back, but that didn't stop you from gazing after him. 

You reach their dorm, and Minho lets you in, pulling you into a short hug. “Hey, Min.”

“Hey,” he smiles and closes the door behind you. “Channie hyung will be there in a bit. He went out to grab some snacks with Ji,” he explains and pats your back, leading you inside. 

“Oh, okay,” you nod and glance around the living room, where they've already set everything up. “Can I still help with anything?”

“Nah, you're fine,” he tells you and gently shoves you toward the sofa. “Relax, okay? We got it.”

-

“Fuck, Ji, it's getting worse every time they're there,” Chan sighs and grabs some of your favorite cookies. 

“Worse?” Jisung frowns, and Chan nods weakly. 

“Yeah, they're so funny and adorable and so pretty,” he says and glances at his friend nervously. “I really want to be more than just friends.”

Jisung squints his eyes at him suspiciously. “Just sex or more?” he asks quietly. 

“Not just sex,” Chan shakes his head and awkwardly scratches his neck. “I wanna be there for them, make sure they're safe and loved.”

“Why don't you tell them?” he asks curiously. 

“I'm scared of ruining our friendship,” he admits. 

“You will, one way or the other, won't you?” he asks gently. “You'll regret it if you don't tell them, believe me. I could've saved myself a lot of pain if I told Minho hyung a lot earlier.” 

“Yeah, but…I told you Minho loves you. You had some clarity after that,” he sighs softly. 

“I can ask Y/nnie,” he shrugs, and Chan's eyes widen fearfully. “Then I'll tell you, and you can decide what to do with that information.”

“Yeah, okay,” he gives in after a moment. 

-

You look up as they return from the store and smile softly, spotting Chan and giving him a small wave. Chan smiles back, walks past you, and gently pats your head. “Hey, bestie.”

“Hey,” you smile gently, swallowing at the word that once brought you so much comfort but now is a simple reminder of what you didn't have. 

You see Minho greeting Jisung, pulling him into a hug, and gently rubbing his back. He asks him something you can't quite hear, but his eyes are so soft, his voice gentle, it makes your heartache. Minho giggles at Jisung’s answer and cups his face, kissing his forehead. You quickly look away, biting your lower lip. You still remember how happy you were when they got together, but over time it got hard to watch, wishing for something like this with Chan. “Y/nnie, can I talk to you for a second?” Jisung asks as he pulls back. “I need help with something.”

“You're okay?” Minho asks worriedly. 

“I'm okay,” he assures him softly and squeezes his hand. “Come on,” he waves you over. You get up, not noticing Chan's anxious glance as you leave the room. 

Minho glances at him suspiciously. “Oh…that?”

“Mhm,” Chan nods nervously and Minho flashes him an encouraging smile. 

“How could they not love you, huh?” he chuckles compassionately. “Relax, hyungie.”

-

Only a little later, you're back in the living room, trying not to look all too confused. There isn't much space left on the sofa, and Chan pulls you into his lap naturally. You sink back into him and bite your lower lip nervously. Why the hell did Jisung ask if you're in love? With Chan? Was it that obvious? 

You can barely focus on the movie playing and want nothing more but to leave and think this all through. It's over sooner than you thought, and you're all sitting in a circle on the carpet now. 

“Truth or dare anyone?” Seungmin asks, and you curse yourself quietly. Of course. 

“Not for me, I should get -” you start and see Chan's smile fading. 

“You're leaving already?” he asks worriedly, and you nod quickly.

“Oh, come on, Y/nnie,” Jeongin pouts at you. 

“You can't leave already,” Changing protests and places the cards into your circle. 

“Fine,” you give in weakly and sit down next to Chan, who lifts you into his lap rather quickly again. His arms wrap around your waist, and his chin rests on your shoulder. “Clingy,” you comment fondly. 

“Fuck off,” Chan gives back just as fondly. 

The game goes on, and luckily, you're getting easy tasks and questions that don't make you uncomfortable. Jisung is sleeping in Minho's lap by now as the latter plays with his hair, and Felix's head is resting on his shoulder. Seungmin and Innie keep on teasing each other, hoping for the most stupid questions for each other. Changbin is still reading the questions, and Hyunjin giggles every time he shows him beforehand. You're still comfortable in Chan's lap and giggle as Seungmin spins the bottle, and it points at the two of you. 

“That's pretty in the middle,” Changbin states and frowns softly. 

“I can go; I'll take truth,” Chan volunteers. Changbin glances down at the question before grinning. 

“Do you have a crush? If so, who?” he reads out loud, and Chan stiffens beneath you. 

“I do,” he nods, and your throat dries. 

“Who?” Hyunjin asks, pointing out the second part of the question. 

“Someone I know really well,” Chan says, and your heart drops. That could be everyone in this room, and looking at the others, you know it can't be you. There's no chance. You push yourself from his lap before you fully comprehend your thoughts, excusing yourself for the bathroom. Chan glances after you worriedly as you bump into the table on the way out and exchanges a worried look with Minho. 

“I got it,” Minho nods and gently plants a sleeping Jisung into Felix's lap. “You go on,” he tells the rest before making his way upstairs to the bathroom. Minho gently knocks at the door and fondly rolls his eyes as you don't answer. “Y/nnie, let me in,” he says and waits for another moment. “I'll go get Chan if you don't.” You quickly open the door and pull him inside, locking the door again. “Cozy,” he comments teasingly. 

“Why are you even here?” you sigh softly and sit down heavily at the edge of the bathtub. 

“Shouldn't I ask you that? This can't be more comfortable than Chan hyung’s lap,” he says and sits down next to you, shaking his head. “Definitely not.”

“Mhm, you should know, right?” you ask sarcastically, and Minho grins. 

“Oh, I do…I've seen…or felt…everything you dream about,” he chuckles and gently pats your thigh. “I'm with Ji. What's stopping you now, huh?”

“Don't be ridiculous,” you shake your head and sigh heavily. “There's no way on earth Chan would love me and - oh fuck, I sound just like you,” you groan. 

“You do,” he giggles. “And I remember you telling me to get myself together and finally realize how handsome I am.”

“Well, you are, you dumbass,” you roll your eyes at him. “That doesn't exactly apply to me.”

“I think…I know Chan thinks very differently about that,” he says and is quiet for a moment. “So do I, dumbass,” he says and gently smacks the back of your head. 

Minho's words hit you like a wave, washing away the stubborn layers of doubt that had clung to you all evening. Despite the sting of his playful smack, there's an undeniable warmth in his words, an affirmation that maybe, just maybe, Chan might feel the same way about you. 

"But, Min," you start, your voice trembling slightly from the mix of hope and uncertainty, "What if you're wrong? What if he doesn't... What if it's not me he's talking about?"

Minho raises an eyebrow and gives you a look that screams exasperation mixed with fondness. "Y/nnie, when have I ever steered you wrong? Listen, Chan's not as good at hiding his feelings as he thinks. The way he looks at you? I've seen it. It's more than just friendship. This isn’t my talk to have, though, you know?"

You're about to respond, but there's a knock on the bathroom door that makes you both flinch. "It's me," a voice says, one that sends butterflies rampaging through your stomach. Chan.

Minho winks at you and stands up. He walks past Chan with a knowing look as he exits the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar. You're frozen in place, your heart pounding so loudly you're sure Chan can hear it.

Chan steps inside, closes the door behind him, and leans against it. His eyes search yours, filled with a nervous energy that matches your own. "Y/nnie, are you okay? I noticed you left suddenly..."

Taking a deep breath, you nod slowly, trying to muster the courage that Minho seemed to think you had in abundance. "I'm okay, Chan. Just... a lot on my mind, I guess."

Chan moves closer, his concern evident. "Anything you want to talk about? You know you can tell me anything, right?"

The sincerity in his voice nearly breaks you. With a shaky exhale, you decide it's now or never. "Chan, I... I need to ask you something. Earlier, when you said you have a crush... was that-"

Chan's face changes then, but before you can interpret it, he lets out a breath he seems to have been holding. "Yes, it's you. It's always been you, Y/nnie. I was just too scared to say anything because I didn't want to ruin what we had."

The words you had feared and hoped to hear tumble into the small space between you, and for a moment, the world stops. Tears prick your eyes, not from sadness but from an overwhelming relief that floods through you.

"Chan, I... I feel the same," you confess, the weight of your unspoken feelings lifting off your shoulders. "I was so afraid you'd never see me that way."

Chan steps forward, closing the distance between you in an instant. His hands cup your face gently, and he smiles - a real, soft smile that you've dreamed of being meant for you. "How could I not? You're amazing, Y/nnie. I've just been an idiot about it."

And then he kisses you, a soft, sweet kiss that promises more. As you melt into him, the fears and doubts of the past fade away, replaced by the excitement of what comes next.

Outside the bathroom, the sounds of the ongoing game and the laughter of your friends continue, a reminder of the world waiting for you both. But for now, in this small, shared space, nothing matters more than the two of you finally bridging the gap between friendship and something much deeper.

When you finally pull away, Chan's grin is as bright as the stars you imagine are shining outside. "Come on," he says, taking your hand. "Let's go back.”

The two of you sit down again, and you lean back against him comfortably. Your eyes meet Minho’s, and you can’t help but beam at him. Minho smiles gently and winks at you, focusing back on the game. Chan gently intertwines your hands in front of your stomach and rests his head on your shoulder. “Tired?” you ask him quietly enough for only him to hear.

“Starting to be, yeah,” he hums quietly. “You wanna stay tonight?” he asks so sweetly there was no chance you’d deny him. 

“I would love to,” you nod.

The evening goes on, but the atmosphere around you is subtly different now. The other guys seem to pick up on the shift; quick, knowing glances are exchanged, and an occasional smirk is poorly disguised as a cough. As the evening slowly comes to a stop, the games gradually transform into yawns and stretching limbs. One by one, the room starts to empty as everyone heads to their room. Changbin claps Chan on the back as he passes by, whispering something that makes Chan chuckle and squeeze your hand tighter.

Once the room is empty, Chan shifts slightly, turning to face you. "So, what do you want to do?" he asks, his voice low and warm. "We could start another movie, just the two of us, or maybe just talk?"

"The talking sounds nice," you reply, smiling at him

Chan nods in agreement and stands, leading you to his room. You’ve been here so often before, but you never fail to feel at home here. He shuts the door behind you and sits on the edge of the bed, patting the space next to him.

You join him, feeling a blend of excitement and nervousness. "I'm really glad you're here," Chan begins, turning to you with a beautiful smile that makes your heart flutter. "I've wanted to talk like this for so long but didn't know how to start."

"Me too," you admit. "I always wondered what this would be like, talking to you like this, knowing we both feel the same way."

Chan reaches out, brushing a strand of hair from your face. "I've been so scared of messing things up," he confesses. "I didn't want to lose you by taking a step that might have been too much, too soon."

You nod, understanding his fears because they mirror your own. "But we didn't mess it up, did we? We're here now, and it feels right."

"It does," he agrees, his eyes lighting up with a mixture of relief and happiness. "It feels perfect."

"What do you think will happen with us?" you ask a small part of you needing reassurance that tonight's magic will extend beyond dawn.

Chan squeezes your hand, his gaze steady. "I think we're going to be great," he says. "We already know each other so well, and we care about each other. We just have to keep doing what we're doing."

"I love that," you whisper, leaning your head against his shoulder.

"I love you," Chan says softly, the words spoken so naturally, echoing through the quiet room.

"I love you too, Channie," you respond, turning to face him. Your eyes meet his in a look that feels like a promise. He smiles sweetly, dimples showing, and gives you another quick kiss.

Chan stands up and offers you a shirt to sleep in, his shy smile making you laugh. You change and slide under the covers beside him, his arm coming around to hold you close.

The comfort of his embrace and the steady beat of his heart soon draw you into slumber, the challenges of the day fading into the peace of the night.

Two weeks later

You’re at the kitchen table with Minho, whispering the details of Chan’s and your first kiss and talk to him. You haven’t really had time to before with Minho gone for a few days. Minho listens curiously, nodding along, and you can tell he’s happy for you. The rest slowly join you for breakfast, and then Chan comes back from his shower after his gym session. His curls are still damp, a bright smile covering his face as he sees you. He passes you, gently squeezing your shoulder. “Morning, pretty,” he says softly, and you can’t help but feel flustered. A quick kiss to your temple follows, and he’s gone again already, getting himself something to drink. 

Minho notices the blush settling on your cheeks and giggles. “That easily?” he asks, amused. 

You gently shove his shoulder. “Shut up,” you mutter. “I’m not used to it.”

“Mhm,” he hums, still giggling softly.

It gets worse as Chan slips into the chair next to you, flashing you a bright smile and casually resting his hand on your thigh. “You slept well, beautiful?” he asks, not noticing the blush on your cheeks deepening. 

What the hell? Why were his simple words causing such warmth to spread through your body? Why are you blushing so hard after a few kind words? His eyes meet yours, and your stomach tightens at the love in them. Fuck.

“Yeah, did you?” you ask shyly.

“Of course, you’ve always been amazing at cuddling,” he compliments you, and you subconsciously shift in your chair. 

You manage a small smile in response to Chan’s gaze, the affection evident in his eyes almost too much to process so early in the morning. He chuckles softly, his hand squeezing your thigh reassuringly, a simple gesture that somehow speeds up your fluttering heart.

“Sorry,” he whispers, leaning in so that only you can hear, “I didn’t mean to make you blush this much.” His voice is a blend of amusement and tenderness, sending a shiver down your spine. You can't help but feel a little overwhelmed by how natural it all seems to him, this newfound closeness between you.

“It’s okay,” you assure him. 

“Are you sure, pretty boy?” he asks and your lips part softly, eyes widening a little. 

“Channie,” you whisper softly, shaking your head. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?” he asks, a knowing smirk lacing his features. “I’m just saying what I see.”

Your teeth bury into your lower lip as you feel the earlier shyness shift into something much stronger. Chan was getting you all worked up over nothing, and you’re not even done with breakfast yet.

“Give them a break,” Minho leans over suddenly, rolling his eyes playfully at Chan. “You’re getting them all worked up at the breakfast table; behave,” he says quietly enough only for the pair of you to hear.

Chan’s eyes widen, lips parting in a silent ‘oh’ as he picks up on the effect his words have on you. He leans closer to you, his breath tickling your neck. “Didn’t know you had a thing for praise.”

“Me neither, now shut up,” you plead softly, shifting in your seat and pulling at your shirt to cover your lap. Chan’s low chuckle sends shivers down your spine, and you flinch as his hand moves up your thigh. You gaze at him nervously, but Chan doesn’t even glance in your direction, talking to Seungmin opposite him. By now, you can’t get up to escape the possibility of getting caught because you’re slowly growing hard.

Your breath hitches as you try to focus on anything but the warmth of Chan's hand, your body reacting despite the semi-public setting. It's a thrilling yet terrifying mix of emotions, the fear of being noticed wrestling with the pleasure of Chan's subtle touches.

"Hey, you okay?" Seungmin's voice cuts through your haze, and you snap your attention back to him, nodding quickly, too quickly.

"Yeah, just... thought I saw something outside," you stammer, hoping your voice doesn't betray the flush of heat crawling up your neck. Chan smirks slightly, his fingers pausing as if he's aware of your struggle to stay composed.

The rest of the breakfast passes with a sort of hushed intensity, your mind whirling with Chan's teasing and the palpable connection that seems to have everyone subtly glancing your way every so often. You're grateful when the meal finally ends, and there’s an opportunity to escape the intensity of the kitchen.

Chan stands and stretches, his shirt lifting slightly to reveal a sliver of his abdomen. You have to force your gaze away, feeling the heat in your cheeks intensify. "Wanna go upstairs?" he asks, his voice low, meant only for your ears. You pull at the hem of your shirt, nodding shyly and biting your lower lip in anticipation. Chan giggles and pulls you into a tight hug, whispering to you as some of the boys are still here. “Didn’t know you’d be able to hide it so well,” he tells you, hand running down your back. “Think you deserved yourself a reward, pretty boy?”

“Please,” you whisper, burying your flushed face in his shoulder. 

“If you’re good and keep quiet, I’ll help you out,” he whispers, and you tense in his arms, biting your lower lip hard. 

Your body reacts with a shiver at the promise in his words, the idea alone enough to draw a deep, yearning ache from within you. You nod against his shoulder, unable to speak, your heart pounding fiercely in your chest.

Chan leads you quietly upstairs, his hand gripping yours with a reassuring firmness. You pass a couple of the guys lounging in the living area, completely oblivious to the charged atmosphere between you two. Once inside his room, Chan locks the door with a soft click, the sound echoing slightly in the stillness.

"Sit down," he directs gently, pointing to the edge of his bed. You obey, watching him with wide eyes as he kneels down in front of you. His hands rest on your knees, his touch light but sending waves of anticipation through your body.

"How quiet do you think you can be?" Chan asks, his voice low and teasing, his breath warm against your skin as he leans closer.

"I'll be quiet," you promise, your voice barely above a whisper, trembling with the effort of keeping your composure.

Chan smiles, that knowing, mischievous grin that always sets your heart racing. He slowly moves his hands up your thighs, his fingers brushing the fabric of your sweatpants tantalizingly slow. The touch is light, almost teasing, but it’s enough to make you gasp softly.

"Shh," he hushes, his lips brushing against your ear, sending another shiver down your spine. "Remember, you need to be quiet."

You nod, biting your lip hard to stifle any further sounds. Chan’s hands continue their exploration, now slipping under your shirt to trace the lines of your stomach up towards your chest. His touch is feather-light, yet every nerve in your body screams for more contact, more pressure.

Without warning, he presses down more firmly, his palm flat against your chest as he pushes you gently back onto the bed. You go willingly, your body already on fire from his touch, your breathing heavy but controlled as you try to keep your promise.

Chan climbs onto the bed, straddling one of your thighs as he leans over you, his face just inches from yours. “Still doing okay?” he asks, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation.

“More than okay,” you breathe out, the proximity of his body making it hard to think about anything but the feel of him against you.

Grinning, Chan shifts his weight, and you feel the firm pressure of his thigh between yours, exactly where you need him. He watches your face closely as he begins to rock gently, the friction sending sparks of pleasure coursing through you. Your hands find his hips, gripping him, guiding him into a rhythm that has you biting down on your lip to keep silent.

The room is filled with the soft sound of fabric moving against fabric and Chan's steady, controlled breathing. You keep your eyes locked on him, getting lost in the intensity of his gaze as he moves against you. Each motion is deliberate, calculated to drive you closer to the edge without tipping you over too soon.

Chan’s hands are on your hips now, his fingers pressing into your skin, his grip firm and possessive. He leans down to kiss you, slow and deep, his lips moving against yours in a dance that mirrors the movement of your bodies. You respond eagerly, the kiss muffled enough to keep your moans contained.

As the pressure builds, Chan’s movements become more urgent, his body pressing harder against yours. You feel a warmth spreading through you, a tingling sensation that starts deep within and radiates outwards. Your grip on him tightens, and Chan breaks the kiss to look at you, his eyes intense.

“Shit, Channie,” you whisper, almost feeling dizzy at the intensity of finally being this close to Chan. 

“Shh, be a good boy, yeah?” he asks softly, biting back a moan himself as he rocks his hips.

“Close,” you manage to whisper, and he nods, his movements becoming even more focused. You arch into him, your mouth opening in a silent cry of release as waves of pleasure wash over you. Chan holds you through it, his body a steady presence as you tremble beneath him. Chan buries his face in your chest with a soft, punched-out sound as his body shivers, stumbling over the edge. 

When you finally relax back onto the bed, Chan’s face is flushed with his own exertion, a satisfied smile playing on his lips. He kisses you softly, tenderly, a stark contrast to the urgency of moments before.

“Was that quiet enough for you?” you ask, a playful note in your voice despite your exhaustion.

“Perfect,” Chan confirms with a chuckle, his forehead resting against yours. “Absolutely perfect.” You both lie there for a moment, catching your breath, the only sound in the room now the quiet hum of the house around you. Then, with a gentle nudge, Chan encourages you to sit up. “Come on,” he says, his voice gentle. “Let’s clean up a bit, then we can go back down. They’ll wonder where we’ve vanished to.”

“Yeah, okay,” you giggle softly, smiling into the loving kiss he gives you before slipping out of bed. Yeah, you could get used to this and so much more.

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[archiveikemen]

Liam Evans 2nd Birthday Campaign: Story

Epilogue [His POV]

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting

It was the first time I found myself unable to look at someone because their existence was so dazzling.

Kate: Nn, Liamm

(Cute…) 

I reached between my lover’s legs as she laid below me with tears in her eyes, enduring the pleasure. 

Liam: Like it here?

Kate let out a high-pitched cry of pleasure when I sank my fingers into her wet spot. 

Kate: Ahh, that spot— 

(Cute, cute, so cute.)

As I pumped my fingers in and out of her, she came so hard that she was in a daze.

Seeing her melting from the pleasure made me want to give her even more. 

(Seriously, how can you possibly be this cute and loveable?) 

Kate looked like a cat begging for food when she rubbed her cheek against my hand that was positioned next to her face. 

Liam: ! 

Kate: Liam… already…

It was awfully lascivious.

Liam: Yeah, I’m already at my limit too. 

I was only pretending to be composed because I wanted her to be impressed, even just a little bit.

(But that pretence falls off right away.) 

When in front of Kate, any attempts to act cool were meaningless.

As I reached for my belt, Kate spread her arms wide. 

Liam: Sorry, I don’t think you’ll be getting any sleep until past noon.

Laying on the white sheets scattered with rose petals, she gave me a gentle smile.

Kate: I don’t mind as long as we’ll be sleeping together.

(You’re truly so kind and doting towards me.) 

In place of a reply, I hugged her tight and gave her a breathtakingly deep kiss.

Then I entered her, surrendering myself to the euphoria. 

…

Tom: Thanks, Liam. You’re a great help.

I was standing on stage after practice to help Tom install the new lights. 

Liam: Nah, I was also curious to see how the new lights look. 

Liam: But they’re rather hot, so I think we could consider thinner costumes. 

Stage lights shine brightly on the actors, but they also give off heat, making us feel hot being under them. 

Tom: I see… I’ll discuss that with the costume team tomorrow.

Tom: This is the kind of lighting that best makes our lead actor shine like a star. It was worth every penny of that high price.

Seeing Tom pretend to cry and worry about his wallet made me recall my birthday a few days ago.

Liam: Like a star…

At that moment, I couldn't contain my smile when I thought of Kate’s dazzling smiling face. 

Tom: … You took a day off on your birthday this year. How did you spend it? 

I looked up to see Tom wearing a soft smile as though he knew I had a great birthday. 

Liam: … I had a wonderful time. My lover celebrated with me, and my friends threw a party too.

On the night of my birthday, Kate took my hand and led me to the dining room where everyone from Crown had gathered.

(Victor whipped up a luxurious dinner spread, and Harry and Will prepared presents for me.) 

Colourful streamers popped out from party crackers, filling the room with vibrancy and joy. 

(Last year, I would've been too afraid to accept that happy scene.) 

But with her smiling next to me, I had the courage to embrace that happiness. 

Tom: From that look on your face, I can already tell you had a good time. I’m relieved to know that.

Tom: I’d appreciate it if you could also fly back here to celebrate with us too next year. 

While holding the keys, Tom smiled and I gave a vague smile in return…

(When that day comes, I’ll definitely fly back here like he said.)

Once you’ve gotten a taste of happiness, you can never forget it.

(I long to see your smile again and hear your congratulatory words.)

…

I parted ways with Tom and walked through the streets at night.

(It’s quite late, so Kate’s probably already asleep.)

I had let her know before leaving the castle that I’d be return late, so she definitely went to bed first.

The hands on the clock tower struck twelve, I lost count of how many nights I’ve spent walking alone like this. 

(In the past, I’d go out drinking, partying, or doing dangerous things with Al.) 

But ever since Kate and I started dating, my nightlife decreased dramatically and before I knew it, scouting potential date spots became my norm. 

(Maybe I should look around and plan our next date for the weekend.)

I turned around and went past shops I planned to visit with Kate.

(Here and…)

(This shop too.) 

Liam: That should do it. 

After checking out various places, I was on my way home again.

It had been two hours.

(We’ll have a meal together first, then we’ll check out that shop for some trinkets, after that we’ll go grab a snack…) 

As I was planning our date while walking in the night, the lightness of my heart was shown in my footsteps. 

(Kate will definitely like that shop.) 

A smile formed on my lips when I imagined her reaction, and the smell of modern roses reached my nose. I reached into my pocket and inside it was a pink pouch filled with the rose petals Kate showered me with on my birthday. 

(I was right to turn it into a sachet to carry around with me.)

I narrowed my eyes contentedly when I gently shook the sachet and caught another waft of the roses. 

(I’m sure that this scent will fade away too.) 

But you taught me that there’ll always be next time. 

(Like petals falling off a flower, happiness will eventually come to an end.)

(But I’ll live in the present as though that day will never come.)

— As long as you continue shining brightly at the centre of my world. 

Liam: … This won’t do, I need to see Kate right now. 

I put the sachet back into my pocket and quickened my pace. 

The stars twinkled in the sky. 

…

Without knocking on the door, I sneaked into Kate’s bedroom and saw her sound asleep on the bed. A smile formed on my face.

(She has such an adorable sleeping face… I wonder what kind of dream she’s having.)

From the slight upward curve of her lips, I thought that she must've been having a pleasant dream and laid down next to her.

Before I met Kate, my heart that never once felt full was always dull. 

But after meeting her, I continued being afraid of experiencing happiness and regretting having ever been born.

(... Even now, I still can’t bring myself to say that I’m glad I was born.) 

The scars in my heart remained, and they would never disappear. 

(But despite that, you saved me.) 

Kate smiled happily as I tucked the strand of hair that had fallen onto her cheek, behind her ear.

Kate: Liam… welcome home…

Liam: Sorry, did I wake you? 

I quickly moved away, but Kate stayed fast asleep… 

Liam: … Was she sleep-talking? 

She snuggled up against my chest with a tender smile. 

Liam: … Do you see me even in your dreams? 

Despite not receiving a reply, I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. 

Liam: That’s not fair. I want to see you in my dreams too.

Even now, I’m still afraid of sleeping.

(Because I can never have happy dreams.)

But being by your side makes me feel like I won’t get nightmares.

Liam: I wanted to feel happy and needed by someone, and yet I wasn't prepared to receive happiness. 

Liam: That’s why there were so many moments where I couldn't bring myself to take your hand. 

There were multiple instances where I wished I had taken your hand.

Liam: But because you didn't give up on me, I started believing that I shouldn't give up on myself either. 

Time and time again, you reached out your small hand towards me; and that’s why I can be here right now, expressing my love for you. 

Liam: That’s why, this time, I’ll be the one to hold your hand no matter how many times. 

Liam: If it slips away, I’ll tighten my grip. If we miss each other, I’ll run after you. 

Liam: Even if you give up on yourself, I’ll never give up on you.

Liam: With the rest of my life, I’ll repay you for everything you’ve done for me.

Drawn to her warmth, sleepiness started to wash over me. It was a rare occurrence. 

(It still scares me to give into my sleepiness, but…)

For some reason, I had a feeling I would have a pleasant dream that night.

Liam: Good night, Kate. See you in my dreams. 

As I hugged her tightly and shut my eyes, I saw with my mind’s eye an image of her showering me with petals.

— Tonight, too, the brightest star in my universe was shining brilliantly in my arms. 

[kyuushi]

I present... the character relationship chart from the second official fanbook! Thanks again to the Kyuushi Discord server for the scans, Aroshi for help with cleaning, Shells for proofreading, and Crimson for Mebi's "fry" 😆❗

Like last time, there are some notes under the cut!

↓

Mippiki: As a reminder, this word is a combination of "three people + one small animal (armadillo)" and refers to Rona, Draluc, John, and Hinaichi.

Little-big Bro: Himari calls Rona "chii-nii" (小兄) to differentiate between him and their eldest brother, Hiyoshi. Ironic considering their heights…

God of Popularity Polls: In case you're wondering who that random old man is with arrows to Rona and Draluc, that's him, the God of Popularity Polls. Ura-Shinyoko stole his seiyuu in the anime…

Bio-employees: Autumn is capable of just growing living entities like Rokumon and Chinoike in their lab. Very normal publishing company.

Cement: Chinoike's gimmick is that he only speaks in wrestling terms. I don't know anything about wrestling myself but Google tells me that a "cement style" wrestling match is a serious match where both parties do their best to genuinely win, as compared to an exhibition type match which is more staged/for fun?

Niga, Sanga: Kuwabara and Sanzu are a ninja and kunoichi respectively. Their village names are parodies of the famed Iga ninja. Ni means 2, san means 3.

Useful mobs: Mob = background character. Bonnoki and the fandom's beloved bg boys Miki Kanae and Yoshida Terukazu-san❗❗ There's lore behind these 2 but I won't get into all that here, I just want to mention that Yoshida-san is based off a real person's art. Hopefully we'll get to see the 3rd useful mob in a relationship chart someday!

Piyo-chan: Ventrue accidentally made himself appear as this cute bird avatar on a Noom (Zoom parody) call with the other old bloods. They'll never let him live it down.

Black Silhouette: This is the three brothers' mother, Gabriella! Her face was hidden for quite some time before she finally made a fully drawn appearance in chapter 297.

As always please do take my translations with a grain of salt; I'm just a fan translator and while I did have someone help me with proofreading, the possibility of mistakes remains. If you have any questions or comments feel free to reach out to me here on tumblr or on Discord, @ ash in the Kyuushi server.

[absolutebl]

Hi ABL! After watching episode 1 of Between Us, I was impressed with the level of "thirst" between Boun and Prem's characters in the last couple of scenes. Are there shows or scenes of shows, regardless of actual heat level, that you think did "thirst" well, regardless of how that's resolved at the time? Subjective, I know, but would love to get your take on this!

20 BLs with the BEST Thirst!

Thirst wants to slide a hand under his waistband right tf now and grind. Horny wants to rip his clothes off, and probably pop buttons and laugh about it. Yearning wants to run both hands up his back while they kiss deeply. Hunger wants to lift him by the ass and slam him against the wall.

Raise your glasses please, to THIRST.

I Cannot Reach You - Japan 2023

It's fresh in my mind, so first on this list.

Secret Crush on You - Thailand 2022

This scene in particular sprang next to mind, just because for me it kinda defined thirst in Thai BL. (Also see my #1 pick for sides at the end.)

Jun & Jun - Korea 2023

We Best Love: Fighting Mr 2nd - Taiwan 2021

2 Moons: Ambassador (AKA 2 Moons 3) - Thailand 2022

Eternal Yesterday - Japan 2022

Why R U? - Korea 2023

HIStory 3 - the BL that shall not be named - Taiwan 2019

Bed Friend - Thailand 2023

They sleeping together but King still thirsty af

Big Dragon - Thailand 2022

My Beautiful Man - Japan 2021

Between Us - Thailand 2022-23

Minato's Laundromat - Japan 2022

Ghost Host Ghost House - Thailand 2022

the infamous leg scene alone qualifies them, but they very mutually thirsty in general

My Personal Weatherman - Japan 2023

It's the point.

I Feel You Linger in the Air - Thailand 2023

The oil scene is a stroke of genius.

Well, several strokes.

Old Fashion Cupcake - Japan 2022

I Told Sunset About You - Thailand 2020

Love in Translation - Thailand 2023

Just because of that damn convenience store make-out scene.

Nitiman - Thailand 2021

I find thirst is often (although not always) the provenance of the seme character.

Mutual thirst is really rare.

Side dish gravy

Shorts, side couples, and so forth.

Oh My Sunshine Night - Thailand 2022

Noh appears 2x on this list. He's GREAT at thirst. Possibly the only Thai actor to give Japan real competition. GIVE HIM ANOTHER LEAD!

HIStory 4: Close To You - Taiwan 2021

Gen Y 2 - Thailand 2022

@heretherebedork and I call them PokeTongue for a reason.

Y-Destiny - Thailand 2021

kiss x kiss x kiss: Perfect Scandal - Japan 2022

No shocker that Japan is the only one to field a micro on this list. Usually thirst takes more build up.

Defining THIRST

I make a distinction between thirst and other types of physical desire. This is just me and language.

Thirst usually leaps off the screen and has an edge of danger to it. Like they gonna get caught, or go out of control just from wanting to touch. They gonna die without physical contact. It's pure survival need. Japan kinda specializes in this.

There's no humor to thirst, but horny can get kinda cheeky. It's more fun and mutual (ee.g. KinnPorsche). More want than need. So it's more Thailand and Taiwan.

There's also yearning (e.g. The 8th Sense), which has a more emotional soul tether to it. Korea in particular, but also like GMMTV and lower heat prestige stuff, high school things for example (My School President).

And finally hunger, which I tend to think of as desire but with a nourishment component. It's I want what's MINE. Like Taejung in Cherry Blossoms After Winter.

These aren't mutually exclusive, mind you.

I dithered but they didn't quite make the list

Irresistible Love - China 2016

Second Chance - Thailand 2021

Takara & Amagi - Japan 2022

Love Area - Thailand 2022

Takumi-kun - Japan 2007

Moonlight Chicken - Thailand 2023

My Engineer (RamKing) - Thailand 2020

It's why we're all still mad we never got full RamKing

(source)

This posted dated end of 2023. Not responsible for thirsty BL that happens after. Check the comments for additions and other's thoughts on the matter.

[silverofthunder]

Secondo (Papa Emeritus II) x GN!Reader

🔞 MDNI 🔞

summary: There wasn’t coldness or softness – it was more like ’you know how this goes’. That’s how it had been ever since you two had started to sleep together.

content: 1.2k words, gn!reader, smut, hurt/comfort, romance, Google translated Italian (so mistakes are possible), NSFW

Oh gosh, I did it, I actually wrote a bit of smut. It's been years since I've done that and I wasn't supposed to do it now but my hands... slipped. A part of me is kind of proud that I stepped out of my usual zone but I'm also scared to publish this. But here we go...

You were again in Secondo’s bed, the man holding you in place by your hips as he thrusted into you while his lips were devouring your neck, mouthing along the line of your collarbone. As his lips traveled up to your neck, his teeth scraped your sensitive skin and a low, breathy sound escaped from your lips as he reached the spot right under your ear.

Your skin felt burning hot, the thin layer of sweat covering your body, your nails digging into Secondo’s back as he sped up and you could feel yourself getting closer to climax. Secondo’s moves were on the right side of roughness – just how you liked it. It was easy to get drunk on that feeling – him holding you firmly, kissing you like he owned you.

Secondo murmured something in Italian and your hazy mind could only guess what he was saying. However, his low, throaty voice made you melt, your heart pound in your chest and you whined as he quickened his thrusts even more. You could feel your hands start to shake, nails scratching Secondo’s back and it only took a few more thrusts before you came, your back arching, moan echoing in the room as your orgasm tingled through you.

Secondo finished inside you only a moment later with a low grunt, his thumbs pressing into your hips and a part of you hoped they would leave a mark on your skin, even a faint one. But you knew there would be no marks.

And then, way too soon, became the slight chillness as Secondo pulled away. You resisted the urge to reach out and pull him close, instead you opened your eyes and saw Secondo standing beside the bed, looking at you. His face paints were slightly smudged and the look in his eyes made your heart sting unpleasantly. There wasn’t coldness or softness – it was more like ’you know how this goes’.

That’s how it had been ever since you two had started to sleep together.

Slowly you got up from the bed, your legs feeling a bit jelly, and you did your best to ignore the feeling as Secondo’s cum leaked out of you. It made a mess while you gathered your clothes and you grimaced when you finally put the clothes on. You knew you had to leave, though you didn’t want to. It had been months – you weren’t sure how many exactly – since this all started and along the way you had realized that you wanted more.

And it seemed that you were the only one wanting more.

Secondo had covered his lower body with a towel, still looking at you as you stepped closer to him. He had looked always a bit intimidating to you but it was a part that made him intriguing. His eyes never left yours and you reached out to touch his arm, a move you knew was a bit risky. However, Secondo didn’t pull away yet his brows furrowed and you bit your lower lip.

”Why are you doing this?” you finally asked. Secondo let out a sigh, moving his gaze to the side, and for a fleeting moment he looked a bit pained. Then the usual, unreadable expression was back and your heart leapt in your chest.

”Go,” he said.

This time you weren’t having that. You weren’t going to leave until you got some answers.

”No,” you said, trying your best to keep your voice steady. ”I don’t want to be treated like this anymore.”

Secondo turned his gaze back to you, shaking his head.

”You’re too good for me,” he spoke quietly.

You blinked, not quite sure what Secondo meant by that. Surely it couldn’t be…?

”How so?”

With a long sigh, Secondo took a hold of your hand, removing it from his arm but keeping your hands joined. You studied Secondo’s face and it seemed his features had now softened. His expressions were always kind of hard to read and while it could be annoying as hell on some moments, it was still one of the qualities that was fascinating.

”Because you’re still with me,” Secondo answered. ”You still keep agreeing to this all even though it hurts you.”

You let out a small, desperate laugh-like noise.

”Yes, it hurts, but this seems to be the only way I can have you. Or at least a part of you.”

Secondo shifted, lifting his free hand up and for a moment he seemed to think what to do with it until he hesitantly settled it under your chin. It made your heart ache and you had to close your eyes to fight back tears. This was new – Secondo hadn’t been like this before. He hadn’t wanted any physical contact after the sex nor had he talked much after either.

”I haven’t much to offer to you,” Secondo said, a hint of sadness in voice.

You opened your eyes, meeting Secondo’s gaze and it was enough for the tears to flow. The usual hard edge had disappeared from the man’s eyes, replaced with something much softer. Longing, maybe, and fear. Your heart ached even more and it felt hard to breathe.

”I wanted you close, but…” Secondo paused, sliding his hand to your cheek, using his thumb to brush away your tears. ”I didn’t want to get too attached.”

”But you did,” you managed to say and Secondo nodded, offering the faintest of smiles.

”Mi dispiace,” he said, now cupping your face with his both hands. ”I hoped that if I kept being… distant after, it would be easier for me. But it wasn’t.”

You hummed, lifting your hand to Secondo’s bare chest and giving him a light shove.

”Oh, you foolish man,” you said affectionately, running your fingers through the hairs on Secondo’s chest. ”You should know that you’re very lucky that I like you.”

Something that resembled a smile passed Secondo’s lips again.

”See? You’re too good for me.”

You cocked your head to the side, leaning more into Secondo’s touch.

”I haven’t forgiven you yet.”

”I know,” Secondo stated, leaning closer and pressing his lips against your forehead. Your heart fluttered at the sudden act of affection – it was such a huge contrast to the atmosphere that had been between you a moment ago.

Somewhere deep down you had known that there was this softer side in Secondo, too.

”Can you finally let me in?” you asked, pushing Secondo gently a bit farther and tapping his chest, knowing he would understand what you meant with the gesture. This all had become a mess due to fact that you hadn’t communicated properly and it had caused you both to get hurt.

”You already have me,” Secondo said, his voice soft, and you knew it was a promise. That everything would be okay eventually.

With a sigh you wrapped your arms around Secondo, burying your head in the crook of his neck and breathing in his scent. It was comforting to finally have this, the closeness you had longed for every time you had been with Secondo.

”I’m sorry,” the man then whispered, voice thick with emotion this time. You hugged him tighter, pressing a light kiss on his neck. Secondo let out a light gasp, his hands settling on your sides, squeezing them gently.

And then you finally heard the words you had wanted to hear so many times before.

”Per favore, resta con me.”

[thegreatwicked]

Writing Resources Part 2

My first list was so long I decided that I reached the character limit! So we have a part two! I'm going to try and keep them a bit more organized too! Hope these help you all in your writing endeavors and if you happen to use any of them try to give the original source some love!

Also, apologies if I've tagged you more than once and it's annoying! If I reference your material more than twice I will just link your whole Tumblr. I really do want to make sure everyone gets their credit and spotlight!

General Information and Research:

The Fantasy Guide to Royal and Noble Marriages or anything by @inky-duchess Her blog is extensive and is a wealth of information regarding things like royalty/nobility/Period social politics and is a fantastic resource, go check her out! Ink I do appologize I might be tagging you more than once!

@type1diabetesinfandom This blog is an amazing resource if you are interested in writing about characters with any form of diabetes or similar health issues. It was ana amzing find when I was writing my character Belladonna Black from Shadows of Deception who is hypoglycemic. What an amazing source!

How to Cook in a Medieval Setting: by @alpaca-clouds Food is the best way to know a culture and this particular blog post is a trove of information for your fictional foodie set anywhere in this spectrum of time or a great find for a fictional setting! This post obviously gets a chefs kiss!

The Symbolism of Flowers by @novlr Yeah! Leopold knew what he was talkign about, every flower has a meaning and it is entirely possible to send some a bouquette that translates to 'Fuck You' btw it consists of geraniums (stupidity), foxglove (insincerity), meadowsweet (uselessness), yellow carnations (you have disappointed me), and orange lilies (hatred). it would be quite striking! and full of loathing. THE MORE YOU KNOW. This blog is also a fantastic source for writers.

Writing About Body Pain by @slayingfiction I just came across this gem of a blog and if you're one who likes to make your characters sufffer than look no further, also, how ya doing? You ok? Just checking. This blog is also a fantastic writing resource.

How to Accurately Describe Pain in Writing by @hayatheauthor kinda piggybacking off the previous source but nevertheless lets make sure we make these characters suffer realistically? I'm ok too, if you're wondering. This is another great blog that focuses on the aspect of being a writer.

How to Use Canva to Make Mood Boards by @saradika I did not know much about mood baords but I'm telling you they are a gaem changer! They bring a life to your story in a way that is just so stunning and saradika has been so lovely as to make this helpful guide! She's also a very talented writer and is quite the Star Wars Fan! GO check out her stories!

Researching as a Writer by @so-many-ocs Research is a tricky topid to delve into and sometime sit hard to know where to start, this blogger has been so kinda as to make a bit of a roadmap to help you narrow down what you need to research and how. Wonderful blog! Very helpful!

Resources for Writing Deaf, Mute, or Blind Characters by @thecaffeinebookwarrior THIS! This right here is a gem and the only reason I don't write these types fo characters is because I've never known how to do so respectfuly and realistically! Not a problem anymore! Also a wonderful artist!

How to Write and Research a Mental Illness another gem from @hayatheauthor again if you're going to wrote a character with a mental illness lets make sure we get it right!

@namesforwriters It's little but a wonderful source of unique names for your story! Including mythology and music themed names!

Nightmare Disorder vs Night Terrors by @redd956 Some great clarification from a blogger who is diagnosed! So happy I found this as I was wondering about the distinction myself for a little while!

Types of Gemstones by @blueboxbeagle and brought to my attention by @keffirinne

A General Cane Guide for Writers and Artists by @deoidesignand brought to my attention but @cripplecharacters I was so excited to find this fantastic little gem recently and I look forward to using it! I'm keeping an eye out for more material in portraying characters with disabilities and disorders maybe it'll get it's own post!

@cripplecharacters linking this amazing blogger if you are wanting to expand your characters and write them with disabilities or diaper fees, this is a wonderful source of how to do it and stay respectful!!

@writingwithcolor use that painters pallet and write diverse characters and when you’re not sure what or how to write something check this blog out! Such a wonderful source for all questions concerning ethnicity, race and diversity!

@writinglgbtq I was looking for this blog!!! Your source for all things concerning writing the LGBTQ community respectfully and believably! So happy to ah e found this!!

@macgyvermedical I have been looking for a blog like this for some time and I'm so happy to add it to my writing resources list as tehre are far too many great and helpful posts to pick just one. Check out this amazing blogger who offers medical beta reads and asks for fanficiton!

Make it Pretty! My own contribution to help make writing a bit prettier! ꧁☽✶☾✶☽꧂ Enjoy!

Adding Page Breaks & Art to Your Stories Another of my own contributions for adding in nice clean page breaks to your stories as well as how to upload art to AO3, FFN and Wattled.

More will be added to this post as I find it and if you find anything that fits the general research on broad topics or specifics please let me know so I can continue this collective writing resource! And make sure to give some of these wonderful writers and bloggers some love!

[keep-calm-and-drink-caf]

Cuddles and Khakhra

A Pavitr oneshot

Pairing: Pavitr Prabhakar (Spider-Man India) x Indian!Reader

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: No use of (Y/N), reader gets their period, use of pads, reader’s mood is kind of all over the place, and the rest is fluffy stuff like kisses, cuddling etc!

A/N: This is one of my first times properly writing from scratch in a little while since I’ve had so much homework and assignments and stuff, but enjoy ☺️

As always any constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated! 🫶

The Hindi in this is probably quite flawed since it’s been a while since I properly spoke it and I was never that good at Hindi but I tried my best lol. I would have liked to do Marathi because Mumbattan (Mumbai) but I don’t know Marathi and I don’t really want to use a translator

I’m not very sure about the poojas (basically rituals, usually prayer-related) that some people do when they have their period, and whether it’s sometimes a monthly thing or not, but when I was a child I never had any done after the first time

Reader uses pads because tampons are scary

Huge thank you to @hobiebrownismygod for the tips for writing Pav’s character!! 💙

———

You knew something was off the moment you woke up with a metallic taste in your mouth and an ache all over your body that made it feel like a valley was being carved straight through your nerves. Upon seeing the damage done to your bedsheets, the blood seeping into the white fabric everywhere, you grumbled to yourself softly and reached over to your bedside drawer for a pad, dragging your sore limbs out of bed and to the bathroom.

Once you got out of the bathroom, sitting on the floor against your bed and battling a cramp that was just about beginning to throb painfully, you contemplated calling your mother. A glance at the clock ruled out that possibility, though. It was 7:00 am. Both your parents would definitely be asleep downstairs, and very, very grumpy should you wake them up for something that you could definitely handle yourself, despite how tired you were starting to feel. You stripped the stained sheets off the bed, replacing them with clean ones from the cupboard and putting the soiled ones in the bathroom to clean up just a little later once the initial fatigue wore off. You went back and lay on your bed, staring up at the ceiling blankly.

No sooner than you had gathered the strength to go get a painkiller than your phone rang, obnoxiously loud for the relatively early hour. You grabbed it, glancing at the name of the caller on the top of the screen, relaxing slightly with a soft sigh when you saw who it was.

“Good morning, mera pyaar!” God, how was he always so cheerful? It seemed even at 7am on a Sunday morning he was out of bed and fully awake.

“Yeah, hi, Pav.” You pressed the phone against your ear as you rummaged around in your drawer for an advil, silently cursing your reluctance to sort through the mess of pens, papers, and random knick-knacks that had begun to accumulate over time.

“You sound tired. What happened? Are you okay?” His tone immediately took on a note of worry, and through your haze of steady, throbbing pain you felt your heart warm at his concern.

“Check your calendar.”

You could hear rustling at the other end of the line as he moved towards his wall. You could picture the adorable little scrunch between his eyebrows he did whenever he was trying to figure something out, his eyes trailing the events marked on the pages in his scrawled but somehow neat handwriting. Finally he found what you were waiting for and you could hear him inhale sharply.

“Oh, meri jaan. It it… that time?” At the end of his sentence his voice became hushed, the caution in his tone making you chuckle softly. You finally found an advil, swallowing it and hoping that it would kick in sooner than later.

“Arrey, don’t sound so surprised. You were there last month as well, remember? And the month before that.”

“It happens every month for the whole year?“

Your tired sigh at your end quickly shut him up. “Hey, don’t worry. I’ll swing by and I’ll even get you a snack, okay? Just sit tight.”

“Wait, Pav, I’m not so sure that’s—” You were interrupted by him hanging up on you, no doubt already on his way. You tiptoed to the door, resting your ear against the wood to see if your parents were up. A light, barely audible snore told you that that wasn’t the case. You were just about to head back to bed when you heard the window click open, someone landing on the ground in a crouch.

You panicked and threw the first thing you could reach, which turned out to be an empty laundry basket. It landed smack dab on the unknown person’s head, knocking them backwards a few inches with the force of the throw, eliciting a small groan of pain.

“Ow. What was that for?”

“Pav?”

“Of course it’s me, who else would jump through your window?” He took the laundry basket and set it down in the corner, giving you a small bow. He was dressed in his suit, which might have aroused some suspicion when he was on his way here, but you were just happy that he had come. He pulled off his Spider-Man mask, running a hand through that annoyingly perfect hair of his with a sunshiny grin at you.

“What were you thinking?” You chided him, taking the laundry basket and putting it back where it was supposed to be. “You scared me, Pav. You could’ve just come through the front door. I would’ve let you in.”

“I did say I would swing by,” Pavitr joked, holding out a paper bag almost like a peace offering. A frosty glare from you prompted him to give you a rather nervous smile. “Fine, you’re right, that joke was kind of terrible. But this is good, I promise. You’ve had khakhra before, haven’t you? I asked Maya Aunty, she said crunchy snacks are good for cravings.”

“I’m not entirely sure that’s true for everyone,” You pointed out, but you took the bag from him, gently squeezing his hand in gratitude. He sat down with his back against your wall under the window, patting the floor next to him as an invitation. You followed suit, allowing him to wrap an arm around you, pulling you into his side.

“Meri jaan? Can I ask you a question?” His voice interrupted the peaceful stillness of the moment as you struggled to tear open the plastic wrapper of the khakhra, your nails just not finding purchase on the slippery material.

“Of course, Pav, what’s up?” You gave up with your nails and instead slotted the packet between your teeth, succeeding in ripping only a tiny fraction. You were beginning to feel frustrated, not to mention hungry.

“Is this whole thing kind of like… you becoming a ketchup packet for a week?”

Your teeth finally ripped through the khakhra packet, the thin, crunchy discs spilling out and falling all over your lap as you looked at him in surprise.

“Aapne mujhe kya kaha tha?” (What did you call me) You had no idea whether to be shocked, amused or just plain outraged. You were leaning more toward the last option, though, and it clearly showed on your face. Pavitr quickly realized his mistake and held his hands up in surrender.

“Main bas to majaak kar raha hoon. I’m kidding, I promise.” (I’m just kidding)

“Oh, I’m sure you were,” You grumbled. He chuckled at your grumpiness, bringing you closer into his side again. Despite your wish to be at least a little bit annoyed at him, you ended up resting your head on his shoulder, vaguely wondering how someone could be so warm, both physically and emotionally. In all senses, he really was a ray of sunshine.

“Bhale hee aap ek ketchup packet the, aap ek sundar hojaega.” (Even if you were a ketchup packet, you’d be a beautiful one)

You whacked his arm lightly, trying your best to suppress a smile at that. “No more ketchup packet jokes. Or you’re not getting any khakhra.”

To emphasise your point, you gathered the flaky discs back into the ripped plastic wrapper, taking a bite out of it and relishing the crunch followed by the cracker-like salty taste.

“Mmm, it’s so amazing and so tasty. It would be a shame to not get any, but then again, more for me—” You cut yourself off with a laugh at Pavitr’s imploring puppy eyes looking down at you. “Fine, here you go.”

You plopped the packet on his lap, and for a while you both silently ate together, very nearly finishing the packet. Once you finished eating, no longer hungry, you gave a silent thanks that the advil was still working, warding off any cramps that were threatening to ruin your mood.

“Did it hurt?”

You turned your head to look at Pavitr, your eyes narrowing suspiciously, but he just gave you that same goofy grin. You had a feeling you knew where this was going, but with a sigh you decided to humour him. “Did what hurt?”

“When you fell from heaven.”

The way he delivered that line in a deeper voice than his own, waggling his eyebrows at you made you giggle softly, and his grin grew even wider. “Really?” You raised your eyebrows at him. “Of all the lines you know, you really went with that one?”

“Hey, at least it’s not a ketchup packet joke.”

“Stop talking or I’ll throw something at you,” You warned, the amused glimmer in your eye and the fact that you were nestled so close against him telling him that the threat definitely wasn’t serious. You glanced at the brightening sky, suddenly remembering something. “Hang on, did you drop everything for me? Don’t you have to go be Spider-Man? Aren’t you supposed to be busy?”

Pavitr shook his head, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the top of your head. “I have time. Besides, my spider-senses will tell me if there’s anything urgent. I’m never too busy for my ke—”

“Don’t say it.”

He laughed softly, squeezing your shoulder with the arm that was wrapped around you.

“My girl. I’m never too busy for my girl.”

———

Translations:

Meri jaan - My light / My life

Mera pyaar - My love

Arrey / Arre - Hey!

Khakhra is a large, thin cracker made from wheat flour and moth bean that is a Gujarati breakfast or tea-time snack. I know it’s Gujarati, but I’m quite sure it’s found everywhere else as well :)

Taglist:

@hobiebrownismygod

[anonymousdandelion]

One of my favorite little strategies for when I am struggling with the far-too-frequent feelings of self-loathing is rapidly becoming this ridiculously basic thing: say nice things to people.

Remind a loved one that you love them. Thank a mentor or role model. Compliment a stranger (in a non-creepy way). Leave a comment on a piece of fanfic. Tell a colleague how much you appreciate the great job they did on that project last week. Send a supportive ask.

See, what I've found is that it makes it a bit harder for my brain to keep insisting that I am horrible, worthless, nothing but a useless burden on everyone around me, etc. etc... when I have evidence that I just put something positive into someone else's life.

(And yes, kind words do put something very positive into the life of the recipient. If I ever start to doubt that, I just need to stop and remember a time or two when I was lucky enough to be on the receiving end. Kindness counts. It matters.)

If approaching people in person feels out of reach, that's okay. Try an email, text message, or DM. Feeling shy? Turn on anon and send a nice ask to your favorite Tumblr blogger.

(Confession moment: I started occasionally doing that back before I even had a Tumblr account at all, when I was a blog-less lurker on this here Hellsite. It's remarkably fun, being a disembodied voice. 10/10 do recommend.)

Whatever works, resonates, and feels accessible for you.

If you're someone who enjoys vicarious happiness, you may get an additional benefit if/when the person responds. (When I'm low in self-image, I also tend to be low in general mood. Making someone smile reminds me that, hey, smiling is possible.)

If you're someone who, like me, tends to socially isolate or withdraw when feeling down (which can be quite the vicious cycle), complimenting someone provides a moment of interaction.

If the recipient of your kindness is someone you already know, a family member or friend, you'll be strengthening that relationship; and if you choose a stranger, who knows, perhaps that classmate you've never spoken to before is a future friend.

You'll be practicing expressing kindness and caring, developing skills that may eventually translate into self-talk.

And the best part? Well, look, people are different. Just because this helps me doesn't guarantee it will help you. For that matter, it doesn't always help me. Brains are complicated.

But there's nothing to lose. Worst case scenario, you've brightened someone's day, and the world has a little more kindness in it.

[celinin-archive]

Celestino Vietti and Massimo Roccoli interview each other at the CIV race held in Mugello (17.10.2014)

translation under the cut

Cele: we're here with Massimo Roccoli and I wanted to know at which age did he start, and what was the path he followed to arrive where he did

Massimo: first of all, hi, i started when i was four, because Santa Claus brought me a minibike. and- I still remember that the first time i rode it i did living room, corridor, living room and- nothing, from then on it has been a very big passion of mine that i carried with me my whole life. Now I'm thirty, so i've been riding for twenty-six years. After- well, I did the whole minibikes racing, at fourteen i started riding in the Torneo Aprilia and then... little by little, a little bit of luck, some good results and I was able to do some seasons in the World Championship, around nine, and then this year... I'm riding in the Italian Championship and in the World Championship with the Mv Team.

Cele: and well, I wanted to ask you something, whether riders picked up quite a lot

Massimo: ehhh... how old are you?

Cele: thirteen

Massimo: well, then think about bikes for a couple of years more. I started- well, honestly I always had the bikes in my mind, and then little by little you change, but... I can tell you, first of all, to not get a girlfriend, to open the throttle and then after... women will come too, but always try to manage them well. They surely have to come after dinner and leave before the first run, that way you are sure that they won't distract you during the day. but now, full throttle with both hands!

Cele: and... how was today on the wet and some advice on riding a wet race

Massimo: on the wet- today on the wet it was good, this morning i did the third best time, and then this afternoon, you saw it too, the conditions were a bit- a bit tricky, i ended up ninth because i made some mistakes. On the wet... one thing is important, that in the moment you start pushing, and i'm still talking about wet conditions, head down and full throttle, don't raise the rhythm, so never slow down, because if you get the tyres cold it gets difficult. You must never relax, and always always remain concentrated. At most, you make the same time every lap, but never go slower, that's an important thing because even if you lap two seconds slower, the tyres on the wet get cold faster and those one... they don't forgive you. If tomorrow it rains, always keep in mind the places where today it didn't dry up easily, no? Do you remember, the first variante, when you did the savelli and the arrabbiata... because tomorrow it will be in those places where there will be a bit more of water that might bother you. So always remember to ride through there with the bike straight... and to open up the throttle

Cele: ok, than you so much

Massimo: thank you!

Massimo: and what about you? What do you tell me? When did- okay, first of all, today, how was- how- we know that at the last moment, when you could have set a time, you found a red flag, and this can happen. You have all the time in the world to make up for it. How- how was it today, besides this red flag that messed it up for you?

Cele: well... at th end, the free practices were fine, in quali i was a bit unlucky but tomorrow there will be other qualis and we will do better. It was... quite tricky because then it started to rain more but... I mean, i did what i could, so.

Massimo: you did well, you were good. But listen, who's your favourite rider?

Cele: ah, I am a fan of Rossi

Massimo: good. And... what do you hope for, in your future, when you're older?

Cele: I hope, if it will be possible, to reach the World Championship. if it's not possible... I hope I will, but it's not easy

Massimo: well! I can only give you some advice... first of all, women, out. Have fun. Play, and have fun. Because I am thirty and this year i didn't want to race, because after so many years of World Championship it was hard, maybe to not get the results you hoped for, because at the end you always live with a bit of dreams, and... I wanted to stop, then I found a team that- I started having fun again, winning again, and I'm competing for the Italian Championship, so... always believe in it, and above all, have fun, that is fundamental

Cele: okay, thank you

[tittie-lattes]

Dream a Little (or Big) Dream of Me (18+)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Steve Harrington

Summary: Billy has a wet dream about Steve and wakes up just a little disappointed. 

Warnings: 18+ smut: blowjobs, anal fingering, masturbation

Word Count: 1033

A/N: For my A3 square “Wet Dream” for @billyhargrovebingo. As always, a big homie smooch to @writer-in-theory for being the best. 

Follow me on my main: @serenity-lattes

IF YOU CLICK “KEEP READING” YOU ARE ACKNOWLEDGING THAT YOU ARE 18 YEARS OLD OR ABOVE AND ARE AWARE OF THE CONTENT WARNINGS LISTED ABOVE.

It had been an ordinary day- wake up, eat breakfast, go to school, come home and do homework, workout, eat dinner, and go to bed. Nothing different happened that could trigger such a dream, yet here was Billy, writhing under the far too thin and scratchy blanket. Truth be told, had he jerked off in the shower like he normally did after dinner, he probably could have avoided this, but it was a bit too late for that now.

A hand pushed Billy so he was on his back before hovering over him. “You are the single most gorgeous thing,” they murmured, tipping his head down to kiss Billy hungrily, hand reaching down to slide his boxers off.

The chestnut hair that was styled perfectly should have been a dead giveaway, but Billy had always been in denial. He couldn’t possibly dream about him. He was an asshole. A shady one with too many secrets, at that. There’s no way in hell Billy could ever have that kind of dream, let alone about-

The person pulled back, using both hands to carefully pull Billy’s boxers down before tossing them aside carelessly. They settled between his legs, trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses down his neck and chest. Just because, they sucked a love bite on the edge of his collarbone. “Seriously, were you hand crafted by the gods?” they murmured, hands caressing the dips and curves on Billy’s torso as they slowly got lower and lower. Once their face was level with Billy’s crotch, they looked up, all too familiar hazel eyes framed by stunning lashes peering up into his own.

Of course, it was Steve fucking Harrington. God damn it.

Steve took his cock in his hand and spit on it, pumping it slowly. “Knew you were gonna be thick,” he smirked, licking the tip, eyes boring into Billy’s as his cock sprung to life, “Had to only steal glances of it from the showers, but it’s even better when it’s hard.”

In the midst of it all, Billy’s own hand had slid underneath the covers and he began palming at himself, seeking relief from the dream that was haunting his mind and body.

Steve took Billy into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks a bit to provide the best sensation. Bobbing his head slowly at first, his other hand came up to trail over whatever he could reach, caressing Billy, cherishing him the way he deserved. He hummed around Billy’s cock, lapping up every drop of precum, and flickered his gaze upwards to watch Billy, cheeks red and eyes half-lidded.

In his bed, Billy wasn’t faring much better. His cheeks were just as red and his lower lip was pink and puffy from biting at it. 

Steve moaned around Billy, winking at him as he sucked him off. He felt quite proud of the fact that Billy was this affected by him. 

Or Billy wanted him to. But he’d never admit to that.

He gently massaged Billy’s balls before trailing his hand up to stroke what he couldn’t fit into his mouth. Pulling off of Billy a little, a trail of spit from his pink lips to Billy’s cock, “I want to hear you, don’t hold back on me now,” his voice was a little raspier than usual and he took Billy in his mouth again. This time, he doubled down and bobbed his head a little faster, his other hand running up Billy’s chest. Steve was a little greedy and used his free hand to brush his fingertips along Billy’s nipple, wanting to see the man writhe underneath him, become a mess.

All the moaning Billy was doing in his dream thankfully hadn’t translated over. He was breathing heavily or he let out the occasional grunt. Finally wrapping a hand around his cock, he began stroking in time with what Steve was doing in his dream.

Billy got himself somewhat together sitting up to take Steve's hand, leading it up to his mouth to suck on his fingers with that shit-eating grin he always seemed to wear. Hopefully he didn't have to say anything for Steve to get the hint of what he wanted, what would have his toes curling.

Watching Billy suck on his fingers was obscene and had Steve’s pupils blown more than a joint ever could. After a few moments, he took his hand back and gently circled a fingertip along Billy’s rim before slowly sliding a finger inside him. Billy was impossibly tight and looked incredible, lips parting as he let out a delicious moan.

It wasn’t fair, feeling this good in a dream when he couldn’t have it when he woke up. No, Steve dated perfect people like that little Nancy Wheeler chick. Billy wasn’t perfect. He had a messy, convoluted life and too much baggage for anyone to take on. 

After giving Billy’s body enough time to adjust, he began to pump his finger in and out of Billy. It would be a little easier if they had lube, but that there was always next time. Billy's eyes pinched for only a second before he relaxed into the feeling of Steve's finger, this was so much better than anything he had done to himself in the last few months. Steve finally took Billy’s cock to the hilt and hollowed his cheeks again, using his tongue on the underside to give him any and every sensation possible. 

He had never moaned quite this much during sex, but he was in such a state of euphoria as Steve treated him like he was a fucking god. His hand moved straight to his hair, and it was softer than he imagined, tugging at it, "Steve… S-Steve... fuck... cumming". He could barely fucking breathe, back arched his toes curled, moaning loudly as he came quicker than he had wanted.

Unfortunately when cum had covered his hand and stomach, Billy’s eyes snapped open. It was a dream. Steve Harrington touching him was a dream. Of course it was. Squeezing his eyes shut, he used his clean hand to push his curls off his now sweaty forehead. 

“God fucking damn it,” he huffed, kicking the blanket off himself, needing to go clean up.

NSFW: Masterlist

SFW: Masterlist

Billy Hargrove Bingo Masterlist

[ririya-translates]

Miguel

In June 2023, Ishida posted a short story about Miguel from the Jack Jeanne winter play for Fumi's birthday. The original post includes a drawing and a music link to listen to as you read. I'm still just an amateur, but I did my best to translate it to English. I also tried to maintain the poetic Twitter short story structure as much as possible. (Note that this has both plot and character spoilers about the winter play)

Miguel, as a child on the prosperous Neshiromi Farm, Lived happily outside of Havenna.

Sowing seeds in hot summers and passing time through cold winters, Bore plentiful good fruit.

2. Neshiromi fruit, with its long-protected cultivation traditions, Boasted a mellow fragrance and refreshing sweetness. When trading with merchants from the northern cities, it would sell out in less than a few days.

3. Miguel loved his work. In the village, life was too busy to even notice boredom But, in this quiet life, nothing felt missing.

One day he would inherit the family business, And be joined in marriage to the house of a daughter of a respectable family friend. It would then be his turn to pass the ancestors' traditions on to his descendants.

There was no conceivable path other than this.

4. The battle in the north continued into its 47th winter. Shadows of the flames of war extended towards Miguel's village.

Soldiers armed with bayonets arrived. The crop fields were devastated to shreds. His father, mother, and even his grandmother with a long-time leg injury, were all killed. The house was set aflame.

In the village, the ones being utterly crushed underfoot in the inferno and the screaming, Miguel turned his back on them, and fled alone.

5. He was headed for Havenna.

In that city whose name he once heard, The pleasure and the numbness, was said to make one forget everything. For Miguel, this was necessary.

He could only keep walking.

There was absolutely nothing but ruined land and yet, Like a fool, he continued

6. Upon reaching Havenna, Miguel started work in a room of the night.

As he had nothing, his only option was to sell himself.

Every night, he filled the loneliness of random strangers. As the days added up, he sensed a growing thirst inside.

In the overwhelm of his own misery, whenever he was alone, He remembered life in his hometown and cried often.

7. He wanted support from someone but, Fleeing the village alone made him ashamed of himself. Even to close friends, he was unable to open his heart.

By going to these lengths simply to gather money, He felt as if he was becoming defiled.

Gradually, this grew into a sense of punishment for his sins. He thought instead that he deserved to become defiled.

8. At this same time, a woman in a similar line of work Became friends with him. She was a liar. It was carefree and easy.

When they had free time, they would purchase it from each other. It supported him living in Havenna, however; He thought they would never be truly close.

He liked her, but all possible paths seemed to lead to ruin, So he was afraid.

9. At one point, he fell in love with his friend's friend. Despite being in Havenna, she was inexperienced and pretty.

10. Rukiora. "Farewell to the night" He thought the name quite strange, but it seemed to be her real name.

His heart was stolen by her clear singing voice. He could never say it, but he wanted her all to himself he tho-….

11. Rukiora always dreamt of a future outside of Havenna.

Outside of Havenna was beautiful, it was fun. Everything would happily exist out there for certain.

He wanted to tell her for her sake. Someday she would know the truth and he wanted to keep her from being hurt.

12. "You're wrong, Rukiora. The outside is wasteland as far as the eye can see. The rice paddies, the fields, they aren't there. I know this. It's where I came from."

13. (Neji's note/ Miguel leaves Havenna. On his departure, he tells Rukiora one final lie. He returns to his homeland and begins sowing seeds.)

[Note: Ishida says that these are his personal ideas so they aren't considered proper canon without Towada as they both created the game closely together. Towada retweeted the thread.

I also wanted to acknowledge a Japanese friend (who asked to stay anonymous) for their help.]

[clatoera]

struggling so much right now and missing my best friend who literally gets me through everything(i haven’t seen her in two weeks), so can i get some clove and glimmer bestie headcanons? if u have any 🩷 love u friend

Hi there, sorry to hear that you are struggling!!! So full transparency these all 100% take place in ARWBFB especially post war because like..thats when they are able to actually be normal 20-something girls without the threat of..well everything happening to them. So! ARWBFB au ahead.

1.One time they made an impulsive decision that they wanted cookies, like really good fancy cookies. Naturally speaking that said "oh you know who makes those really good cookies? Peeta." They had no idea how far District 12 actually was, and they did in fact end up on a 24 hour train ride there. Glimmer was fucking horrified by the state of the district and clung to Clove afraid she was going to catch poverty or something. But really, who was more shocked to see Miss District One and Miss Flayed a man alive in District 12; Peeta (who had to see these two walk into his bakery unannounced) or Haymitch (who had to hear about it later and thought peeta was lying). They do come home with a LOT of good treats, but they also leave two VERY concerned men in One and Two when they disappear for two days. yeah maybe they're concerned glimmer and clove finally ran off together what about it

2.In the spirt of them being young silly twenty something girls, they absolutely like...end up actually blacked out in the streets of District One on like a Tuesday night in September. By night I mean like...7 pm. It was one of those situations where you go too hard at brunch, get kicked out, and then keep drinking all day because you don't realize how drunk you are until it's too late and also you can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. They are escorted to bed by 7:30 p.m and quite literally tucked into bed. Glimmer insists they sleep in the same one because "it's like a sleepover" and Clove is literally too incoherent to argue. She does in fact wake up the next morning very confused in this pink fluffy blanket.

3. On a sadder (?) note, Clove had such a lonely childhood for a little girl, and never had any friends her own age (especially not girls). She can do her own hair and like throw on a coat of nail polish if she wants (she has extremely steady and dexterous little hands). That being said she's never done any of those things for someone else. When she has her daughter later on, Glimmer kind of has to teach her how to like...do those things? She has to teach her how to do someone elses hair, and paint tiny squirmy nails, and all of those girly things that Clove can do but never for someone else. And by that she lets Clove practice on her with extraordinary patience and explanations. Even when she pulls her hair a little too tight.

4. Clove is forced to lose any sense of like...modesty and privacy when it comes to Glimmer as soon as she gives her the options to make her a dress. Glimmer will in fact walk in and start tugging and pulling on things to make that dress sit right, and that involves hands being reached right down the front of it.

5. Kind of well known by now but Clove learns to like..show love and friendship through food. That directly translates to Glimmer's life, in the fact that when she has the girls? Clove practically moves in for weeks to feed her (and marvel, too). She's like a personal chef, shopping, cooking three meals a day (AND snacks), and then cleaning it up. She doesn't know how else to help. That translates again to every stage of the girls like..getting bigger? Clove is there to make them baby snacks and appropriate food and that carries on until they're like..adults honestly.

6. Glimmer isn't one to weaponize her trauma. That being said, she has an actual meltdown when it comes time to send her girls to school and out of her care. She puts it off as long as possible. It gets to the point where she just starts begging Clove to teach them (because Clove is the smartest person she knows). begs. Begs and begs and begs. (she succeeds, but only for a few years, because none of them were ever taught anything after 6th grade except where to slice an artery and how to laugh for an audience).

7. As a result of the Enobaria/Cashmere situation they once sat down and stared at each other like "are we...related?" they aren't. But they tried to math the math of okay your sister and my kind of sister does that make us..sisters in law? cousins? (no! It doesn't!)

I hope these make sense and/or bring you a little smile my friend. It was fun to put some of these things out into the universe!

[ginevralinton]

Thank you for the tag @ailendolin ♥♥

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 67

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

197,359

3. What fandoms do you write for?

BBC Ghosts, mostly, at the moment, but I also do some classic lit fics every now and then

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A second (minor) heart attack

Cast Back (embarrassingly)

House Share

A piece of the universe

Not quite like the books

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do. I feel like my replies aren’t all that thrilling, but I always try to say thank you!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have a (possibly) bad habit of needing to end with at least a glimmer of hope, however, I think ‘where the evening splits in half’ is angsty (I mean, it refs a canonical character death and one that always makes me sad) and ‘a workshop of filthy creation’ (for lack of resolution/continued pain)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Maybe the whole ‘Not to get mushy but…’ series. ‘Those That Love Us’ and ‘House Share'. I think contentment, connection, found family and love are the vibes the endings give, so maybe that’s what counts as a happy ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not that I can recall

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I tried, once. I think it’s really bad, so I won’t be doing anymore for now.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really, unless we’re counting ‘Uninvited Guests’ or ‘a workshop of filthy creation’ which could be considered crossovers with my original works, as they feature my OCs. I did, however, once write a modern AU crossover of Frankenstein, Wuthering Heights and The Italian in my first year of uni, but that shall remain buried somewhere in my laptop.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I don’t believe so!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I’m not sure – I either find I like one thing or several equally so… Still, as I’m answering this as a writer, my favourite to write has been Julian/Robin or Lucy/Ginevra

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I’m not sure I’ll ever finish the next parts of my Ginevra/Lucy fic (a continuation of ‘Don’t let them get you down, you’re the best thing I’ve seen’) – I tend to just add to it every now and then, when I feel inspired.

I have also started gathering ideas for a sequel to ‘workshop of filthy creation’ and I have a few lines noted, but right now, I’m not feeling inspired to write it. Never say never though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Perhaps writing narrative voices that fit and align with the character they’re trying to capture, and from whose perspective the story is told from? By which I mean making conscious word choices, thinking about thought patterns, using appropriate metaphors and tones for that character?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I definitely struggle with plot – and while I’m not really one for grand, action packed narratives, I do sometimes feel that instead of taking the straightforward path from A to B when I’m writing, I tend to meander, get distracted by other details, get tangled up in reflections and reminiscing, so everything I write is slow. I also struggle a lot with endings – a desire to tie things up probably too neatly, or an inability to actually just reach the ending? That, and I can often be a slow, slow, slow writer, so I might start a piece and take weeks to actually complete it, which can lead to tone shifts, I think.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I wouldn’t personally feel comfortable doing it, because my GCSE German is awful, I’ve never learnt another language, and I’m not sure I trust translators for full sentences. In terms of the practise in general, it is fits in with the canon, and ‘makes sense’ for the character – sure, I don’t mind. I mean, I’ve read Charlotte Bronte’s Villette after all.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

It was for a British comic I believe, back when I was 12/13…I did re-upload it from ff.net to A03, so if you really want to read it, you can, but don't expect much.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

My personal favourite is probably ‘Don’t let them get you down, you’re the best thing I’ve seen’, because it took a lot of work, combined some of my favourite things and allowed me to use what I researched and wrote on for my MA dissertation in a creative way?

My other favourites are:

‘Those that Love Us’ - this was fun to write, and I enjoyed the challenge of capturing the vibe and language of the book, while also making it my own.

‘A Second (Minor) Heart Attack’ - a very early Ghosts fic, but it made me smile

‘House Share’ - possibly because it was such a project and I completed it

I'll tag @someoneplsloverobbierotten @sonnet-of-anarchy @its-a-hare-pom-pom @natequarter @thelastplantagenet and @athelstan-anglecyning, if you wish :)

[1nm8translations]

1Nm8 Voice Drama "SHOWDOWN AFTER" Translation

You can listen to the voice drama here. Translation below.

Rokuta: This kaarage is the best! The hamburgers get a perfect score, too! The omlet is fluffy too, what joy...

Rokuta: Today's dinner is really fancy!

Itsuki: You said you'd like to eat something special, since we're having a Paradox Live wrap-up party, after all.

Rokuta: (sounds of chewing) That's right, Paradox Live - the result was frustrating, but it was really fun, wasn't it?

Kei: (audible sigh)

Rokuta: Kei-chan?

Kei: Ah, I'm sorry. What were you talking about?

Itsuki: Are you feeling under the weather? You haven't touched your food.

Rokuta: Don't tell me, was your trap reaction worse than usual?

Kei: No, that's not it. I was just... thinking.

Rokuta: Thinking?

Kei: Mhm. About our future.

Rokuta, Itsuki: ...!

Kei: 1Nm8 as a team was created to win in Paradox Live and bring the dangers of Phantometal to the attention of the public.

Itsuki: However, as we've been defeated, achieving that goal has become difficult. Certainly, we need to reconsider our future activities.

Rokuta: Right... Yeah.

Kei: Our thoughts failed to reach the society. Is there really any meaning to 1Nm8 continuing to hold phantom lives?

Itsuki: (thoughtful hum)

Rokuta: Hey, hear me out... Maybe we should stop doing phantom lives for a while?

Itsuki: You mean, quit?

Rokuta: How about we take a break from music, go somewhere far away, the 3 of us together, and just take it easy?

Rokuta: Kei-chan, you like the sea, right? So I think a town near the sea would be nice!

Kei: Oh... That might be a good choice.

Itsuki: Kei...

Kei: But is that really what you want, Rokuta?

Rokuta: Eh?

Itsuki: You seemed to enjoy performing in the Paradox Live, Rokuta. It's hard to think that you'd choose to move away from music of your own will.

Kei: You're so kind, Rokuta. Did you say that for my sake?

Rokuta: (sigh) To tell you the truth... If possible, I'd like to continue on as 1Nm8.

Rokuta: When we appeared in Paradox Live, it was really exciting. We became one and gave it our all on stage... And many people cheered us on.

Rokuta: My heart was racing so much, i thought I wanted that moment to last forever.

Kei, Itsuki: ...

Rokuta: But... even so... What's the most important to me is Kei-chan and Itsuki-nii. If Kei-chan can't find meaning in phantom lives anymore...Then I think it's best to quit.

Kei: Rokuta...

Itsuki: To me too, you two are the top priority. That is why I need to say this. I do not want to back down from phantom lives like this.

Itsuki: Through taking part in Paradox Live, I noticed a "certain possibility" in the music envisioned by Kei. It would be too much of a shame to conclude activities without exploring that first.

Itsuki: What is on your mind, Kei? If you don't mind, can you confide in us?

Kei: I... I thought I made up my mind. To eliminate the Metal no matter what and cleanse this tainted world. But now, that it's become impossible to fulfill... I've lost sight of where to go next.

Kei: With our appeal having reached no one, we may be unable to do anything but watch the tragedy unfold.

Itsuki: Kei...

Kei: It's all because I was too weak!

Kei: I went as far as get you two involved, and still I couldn't see it through. My music can't save anyone-

Rokuta: That's not true.

Kei: Eh?

Rokuta: I told you, haven't I? That when we performed in Paradox Live, I was so excited. If Kei-chan had never formed 1Nm8, I'd probably never get to know that feeling.

Kei: Rokuta...

Itsuki: We've chosen to walk along this road with you of our own will, Kei. I did not consider myself to have been "pulled into'" anything in the slightest.

Itsuki: For us, who grew up locked away in a facility, without even knowing what we're alive for, you were the one who gave us light!

Kei: ...Thank you, you two. But... I'm sorry. I'd like you to give me a bit more time to think of what to do next.

Itsuki: I do not mind. We have all the time in the world.

Rokuta: Let's think about it hard, and discuss it a lot. That way, we should be able to choose the best idea.

Kei: That's right. For sure.

Rokuta: ...Aah, the kaarage went cold! Itsuki-nii, are there any seconds?

Itsuki: There still are. I'll serve you, give me your bowl.

Rokuta: I can do it myself, though?

Itsuki: Did you forget how you broke the rice scoop last week? It's fine, so sit down like a good boy.

Rokuta: Okaay...

Itsuki: And you, Kei. Even if you have no appetite, you should eat at least a little.

Kei: Okay. I'll have something. It's a feast we've prepared together, after all.

Rokuta: Right, right! I recommend the kaarage!

(fade out)

(sounds of washing up after dinner)

Itsuki: That's all for the washing up. Has Rokuta gone to bed yet?

Kei: Yeah. He seemed sleepy, so I send him to the bedroom first.

Itsuki: I see. I'm going to turn in for the night soon, too. What about you?

Kei: I'm thinking of going for a little stroll. I'm just wide awake somehow.

Itsuki: ...Got it. But don't think yourself into a corner.

Itsuki: There's no need for you to carry this heavy burden alone, Kei. I'm always here for you. Rokuta is probably thinking the same thing.

Kei: ...Thank you. Goodnight, Itsuki.

Itsuki: Goodnight.

(outside)

Kei: To purify the world through music... My ideal should remain unchanged, even now.

Kei: So why am I unable to clear away the haze in my heart?

Kei: Just what should I do from now on?

(soft piano music fading out)

[goldenponcho]

You Can Lead a Castellan to Water…

Chapter 4: The Treaty

Ramon’s pace this morning was especially rushed. He had felt confident the morning before that his ward would be well on her way to enlightenment in mere hours, but noon came and went with no word from the servants.

Fine.

Then evening came. Nothing.

He HAD been happy to see she was finishing her meals. She had the appetite of someone already completely transcended, but still, there was no word from his subordinates.

Through the night, he had suffered in silence as he refused to give in and go check on her for himself, and he had given the zealots no order to bother her. That way she could get as much uninterrupted sleep as possible. To busy himself, he decided to visit the library to read. He had made himself as comfortable as possible on his old bed tucked away in the corner, removing the ribbon from his hair to let it hang more comfortably around his shoulders. Then this morning, after fumbling with it multiple times, he just couldn’t manage to make his shaky fingers tie it back properly, so he shoved the thing irately into his pocket.

At this point, it was now or never. He was about to know whether he had succeeded in carrying out his lord’s wishes or whether he had failed miserably…

As he rounded the corner to the terrace that lead to his room, both his heart and his plaga were growing especially restless. Gold eyes bore into the metal door in front of him, and he sent a mental command to his left hand to go and open the door before him. The creature did this in a blur and the door opened well ahead of Ramon as he anticipated what he would find.

As he stepped inside, he found Gail sitting up in her bed, looking as if she had been awaiting his visit.

“Mornin’!”

Ramon tried to keep her chipper mood from discouraging him. He had to remember that this plaga wouldn’t change her personality like the others would.

“Buenos días, señorita,” he came to stand at the foot of her bed, “I trust that you are quite well rested.”

“I am, thanks,” she smiled as if she were exchanging pleasantries with a friend, “Your hair looks nice! I like it down!”

Ramon felt a strange heat rise in his face, and he was EXTREMELY thankful he could no longer blush very much. He was not at all accustomed to compliments, and they always came with the assumption that he was being mocked. He had become good at picking out the liars, but he had to admit, he wasn’t sure he could tell with her. She seemed genuine, but she was a charmer, and charmers were good at lying.

“The steak last night was fantastic!” Gail went on, realizing the personal compliment had made him uncomfortable, “What kind of cut was that? It WAS from an ANIMAL, wasn’t it?”

Ramon chuckled at the question, finally approaching her bedside, “Do you think me such an ungracious host as to make a cannibal out of you without your consent, Miss Crane?”

Gail shrugged playfully, “No idea!”

“That was a butcher’s cut imported from beyond Valdelobos borders. The best and most rare cut, as there is only one per steer.”

Intrigue glinted in her eyes, “Valdelobos. That’s what this place is called?”

“Valley of wolves,” he translated with a nod, “It is the reason the village remains so remote. Those native to here have learned to thrive alongside the magnificent beasts.”

She simply nodded, staring pensive for a moment.

“Now, to the side of the bed, por favor, my lady…” The request took her out of her thoughts with a start before she complied.

Ramon was only slightly less careful this time as he held her eye open. Still black as pitch. Not a damned thing…

He didn’t ask this time before snatching her arm and searching fervently for any sign that his plaga had taken her. He willed himself to see straight through her arm, to find the one little black vein he was missing. But he already knew it wasn’t there.

Without warning, he reached to press his palm to her belly, closing his eyes and shifting his hand’s position a few times, as if searching. The sudden contact had Gail frozen, heat rising to her cheeks. Now this REALLY felt like a pregnancy…

His hands began to shake again, and he slowly retreated, bringing one to press to his chest. His thoughts came in a speedy cacophony as he turned to pace slowly away, before spinning to eye her in befuddlement.

“This is not possible!” He glared accusing, reddening eyes toward her, “What sort of creature ARE you?! EVERY member of the animal kingdom is susceptible to las plagas!! HOW can you REJECT it so?!”

“I didn’t do it on purpose!” Gail defended herself with a glare, gripping the edge of the bed.

As she moved to uncross her ankles that had been crossed beneath the covers still draped over her feet, one of the Verdugo hissed. Ramon turned to the creature, eyes narrowing, and Gail realized that they were communicating. His eyes were red now, “Is that so?”

Before she could react, he had ripped the covers from her legs, and visible beneath the bloodied hem of her shift was an already half healed dog bite.

“You INSOLENT creature!! You HAVE been out of your room!!”

She swallowed, “Yes,” she answered flatly, “…only in the garden.”

His narrow shoulders rose and fell in absolute fury, “ONLY the garden?! Or are you certain you weren’t snooping about my dining hall?!”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. He HAD suspected her before.

Then, his eyes darted from her to the wall that obscured the garden from them and back. If she had escaped alive then…

His fists clenched, “If you have harmed ANY of my wolves, I’ll-“

“Absolutely NOT!” Gail glared in offense, “It was MY fault. One of ‘em got a little excitable is all! I wouldn’t hold an animal accountable for being an animal; what do you think I am, some kind of monster who hurts dogs?!”

Ramon’s anger only subsided a sliver, “I don’t know WHAT kind of monster you are! How in the fires of HELL did you get out?!”

“WELL…” Gail huffed, attempting to calm herself in order to possibly calm HIM, “First, I picked the lock with the pendulum leader in the clock,” she motioned her head to the clock on the side table, “I’ve fixed it working again, but it’s probably off by a few minutes now.”

Ramon stared at her in absolutely shocked bafflement.

“You and your minions were in the dining room, so later, I used my silverware to rig the iron door to the garden open. I actually got rid of that squeak it was making before when I fixed it back, so you’re welcome for that…”

“You…” Ramon for once did not have words.

“You knew I was an engineer, right? Did you think the dirty boiler suit was just a fashion choice?” Gail instantly realized that this wasn’t helping her plead her case as Ramon’s burning scarlet eyes only seemed to get angrier. She shifted tactics. “I didn’t leave, though. And I didn’t break anything. If anything, I made things better. Well…except the cutlery, you probably won’t wanna use that again… B-but there was a loose hinge on one of the kennels that I tightened too! Those puppies will break their way out of those real easy, someday, though, what with the tentacles and such.”

Ramon was trying to calm himself from hyperventilating now, and he sat himself a couple feet from her near the end of the bed.

“Do you know how VEXED our Lord Saddler will be that I have failed to unite you with your plaga?”

Gail’s brow furrowed, “Well, it’s not like it’s YOUR fault. The plagas they tried at the lab didn’t work either.”

Ramon turned a now tiredly irate face toward her, “You KNEW, then?!”

“Look! What was I supposed to say? “Please! M’lord! It’s physically impossible for me to join your cult! Please kill me now!”?”

“You COULD have told me it had failed before!”

“What reason did I have to-“ Gail gave a start, and her eyes widened as if she had been briefly electrocuted. “What the…” she placed her fingers on her temple, “L-Lord Saddler?”

Ramon took in a quick breath. He felt him. It WAS Lord Saddler headed this way. He quickly stood. And Gail had felt him too. Was she transforming after all?

He was shaken from these thoughts as Gail grabbed him by the shoulders, face suddenly deathly serious as black eyes pled with him. “Listen! I’ll do whatever you need me to! I can fix that trolley you said was busted! I’ll install indoor plumbing in EVERY room! Just tell him not to kill me!”

“I do not TELL Lord Saddler to do or not do ANYTHING!” He cocked his head, “And I am to TRUST you, engañadora?! You have LIED from the beginning!”

“I’ve lied enough to stay alive! Yes!” She squeezed his shoulders, not quite hard enough to hurt, “Look, I’ll stay here as long as I have to…but I will not DIE here!” There was a strange speeding and slowing of her words in her urgency that he hadn’t heard from her before.

It was too late, however. Lord Saddler stepped into the doorway. As he appeared, Gail released her hold on Ramon and snatched the coverlet to hide her injured leg.

Saddler’s gaze was sly, as if he knew there was something amiss here.

“My SPLENDID Lord Saddler!” Ramon bowed low, removing his hat, and Gail had the presence of mind to make a bowing motion awkwardly from where she sat, “Welcome to my home! I do hope things are running smoothly!” There was a clear shakiness in his voice, and Gail was beginning to panic. Even if he DID chose to make a plea to spare her, could he convince his despot she was worth it?

“I believe you are well aware, my boy, that there is a kink in the proverbial armor of our consecrated ambition.”

Ramon had to force himself to not crumble to his knees, “I…apologize for my insufficiency, my benevolent Lord,” he gripped the brim of his hat so hard he knew it would leave crushed wrinkles, “Please know that it was not for a lack of effort.”

Saddler smiled down his nose to the tiny man, “My devoted son…” he stroked large fingers down the side of Ramon’s head, threading smooth locks of hair between them before letting them fall to his shoulder, “Do not be discouraged by the failings of the wicked.” Pale eyes were on Gail now as he stepped slowly in her direction.

She bowed her head, “Please, I can’t help it if my-“

Ramon was pushed aside, hat knocked from his grip and back flat against the wall as Saddler now obscured his view of her, but he heard her choking and wheezing as Saddler’s back straightened to lift her by the throat from the bed. Suddenly, Ramon wasn’t so keen on remaining silent to passively let her be choked out. He scrambled to come to his Lord’s side and kneeled, gripping the end of his garments.

“Lord Saddler, please… With all reverence, I plead for this lost sheep’s life!” He didn’t look up, but he felt Lord Saddler’s eyes on him, “Truly, she is beset with the most heartbreaking inability to assimilate, but she may still be useful yet.”

Ramon trembled at what his Lord might do in response to such boldness, and the seconds of silence felt like ice being poured down his back. Then he suddenly felt something touch his cheek. As whatever had touched him finally raised his head to look at his Lord, he realized it was a tentacle.

“Such a soft heart you grow for your pets, my dear Ramon. Tell me, what would you have this depraved creature do to serve us?”

Gail was blacking out, and her limbs flailed of their own accord. For the first time in a very long time, he felt pity.

“She has shown herself to be an excellent mechanic! And I very much need someone more capable than the lowly zealots to keep the more advanced machinery in my castle maintained! Spare her, my benevolent father…please!”

Gail was nearly unconscious when she felt the pressure on her trachea release, and she collapsed onto the bed, gasping and coughing, her vision black and swirling.

Ramon was visibly shaking now, and as the tentacle under his chin receded, he pressed his head to the folds of fabric in his clutched hands, “Thank your graciousness. She will be put to righteous use, my Lord.”

Now it was clawed fingers beneath his jaw, and a thumb stroked the man’s cheek affectionately, “You may keep your pet for now, my boy,” he glanced between the Verdugos then back to Ramon, “Do see that she is well supervised.”

Though Gail still hacked uncontrollably, her vision began to clear. But her head pounded and her throat felt as if it had been not only crushed, but had a steel brush forced through it.

“Yes! Thank you, Master!” Ramon remained bowed on one knee, “Your grace knows no bounds!”

“Your faith is admirable, my child. Perhaps you may lead this lost lamb to salvation yet…”

Saddler strode to the doorway, and Ramon arose but never lifted his head, “You are kind to me, my Lord.”

Then, as quickly as Saddler had arrived, he was gone.

Ramon snapped to face his Verdugos, “Agua, rápidamente!”

One went immediately to fetch water, and Ramon scrambled to Gail, who was on her side, still gasping for air. She was beet red, and the white of her left eye was completely saturated with blood.

“You must try to sit up, querida,” he reached to prop her pillows against the headboard, then took her hand to support her as she pushed herself up with the other. Once she was supported upright, her coughing began to subside little by little.

The Verdugo came with a glass of water clasped in enormous claws, and Gail would have found it a somewhat funny sight if she hadn’t been so preoccupied.

Ramon took the glass, holding it to her lips. “Slowly…” he reminded her, and she took small, slow sips, which finally ceased her coughing fit, and she continued to pant, taking the glass into her own hands.

“You are PREPOSTEROUSLY lucky,” his tone was irritated but amazed, “…and so am I.”

“I know…” she croaked hoarsely between breaths and small coughs, “Thank you… There was a…a second there I thought I h-…HAD died… Y-you…you DEFINITELY saved my life…”

Ramon felt a jolt at her gratitude. Again, flustered for words, he finally resided to a simple, “You are welcome.”

“So…” she tried to clear her raw throat, “…when and where do I start?”

Ramon looked puzzled, “Start?”

“I’m your mechanic now, right?” She gave a raspy huff of laughter, “Or your pet; I was a little unclear on that…”

“Oh!” He had admittedly completely forgotten her end of the deal, “Concentrate on recovering from strangulation first. I can’t have you dropping dead on the job.”

“An understanding boss! That’s a good start! ACK!” She entered another coughing fit before taking another drink of water.

“I think perhaps you should stop talking,” Ramon smirked with a mischievous glint.

Gail smiled, swallowing and resting her head back on the pillow, answering with a thumbs up.

“The servants will check on you as they have been throughout the day, and believe me, there will be guards at both doors, so no more snooping around. I will return this evening if you are recovered enough to discuss our arrangements.” His Verdugos exited ahead of him as he approached the doorway before turning to her, “Do not think that I will be more lenient now that you are my underling. If anything, my expectations of you will be much higher.”

She smiled, not raising her head, but giving a two fingered salute.

Ramon allowed the door to close, and he released the breath he realized he was holding. He stood rigid for a moment, looking toward his garden, but not taking anything in. How had she convinced him to risk his standing with Lord Saddler for her? He couldn’t think of a single person since his old life before Los Illuminados that he would have done that for, save for maybe his Verdugos.

But he knew that he wouldn’t have wanted to endure watching her be strangled in front of him. She was tricksy. Deceptive, honestly. But something about her…

He shook his head and refocused. He couldn’t trust her just because they had reached a truce; he would be a halfwit if he did. And she had been able to sense Lord Saddler’s presence without adhering with her plaga. Even before he himself had noticed… No, he would be more wary of her than ever. And he could only hope that she would not do anything to cause his Master’s wrath to befall her again. He wouldn’t be able to save her a second time.

Spanish translation:

engañadora - deceiver

Agua, rápidamente! - Water, quickly!

querida - dear