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#I do apologize for the length
gummybugg · 11 months
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(Penpal letter to Morgana, from Lizzy) Hey Hey! How's it going? My name's Lizzy! I wanted to try and make new friends, so I thought I'd send a stranger a letter. Hope this is okay, and hope your day is going great! Let's see, a little about me... My passions are animals, photography, and good music. I'm a wildlife biologist currently working to help sustain our ecosystems. (I'll try not to bore you with work stuff though.) I try not to pick favorites, but my fav animal would probably be the bobcat. I also have a ferret at home. He's so cute, his name is Muffin! Heard you are/were in college? What were you studying? I always encourage people to keep going as much as they can and try their best. Even if you don't use it, a degree looks good to employers. There's always tons of tutors and stuff too! (I know history, geography, and stuff was never my strong suit.) Can't wait to hear back! - Lizzy C.
Hello Lizzy,
I'm not quite sure how you got my address, and frankly, I don't really think I'd want to know. You seem to have good intentions, so I suppose it wouldn't hurt to respond. Besides, I'm lonely, and I don't think I've spoken to another (living) person in a while, and it'd be nice to have a pen pal of sorts.
I suppose I should introduce myself. As you know, I'm Morgana (I promise it's a very masculine name where I'm from), and my favorite activities are journaling, collecting vinyls, writing messages in bottles, and people watching. We seem to share an interest in photography, which I find very curious. I like to take pictures of places after dark or places that illicit nostalgia, how about you? Also, what are some of your favorite bands? I like Weezer, the Wallows, the Ramones, and The Rolling Stones.
I love rodents and ferrets! In fact, I have a few....pet mice. They're named Juniper, Addison, and Vinnie. I really enjoy their company even though they are a bit irritating at times and don't always understand what personal space is. I can feel them looming over my shoulder, giggling, as I write this...
I'm not sure how you know I was a dropout, and it's not something I'm proud of, but I used to major in journalism--no surprise there. Things just got to be too much, and I let my solitude get the best of me. I do envy those who get to have the "college experience" because it's something I know I was never cut out to have....but I digress.
I suppose a break from school will do. Fuck tuition costs, fuck scholarships, I'm going back when I'm ready. And when I have a better hold on my life. Don't tell my parents I'm still not in college because they don't even have a clue where I am right now. I'm sure they already got a search party going after me, but they're going to find out soon enough that I mean what I say: I will not let them back into my life again.
I apologize for the rant since we don't even know each other that well. But I do sincerely hope to hear from you soon.
Signed,
Morgana
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ilhansens · 6 months
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Beril Pozam & Taro Emir Tekin Yalı Çapkını | 44. Bölüm
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drawnfamiliarfaces · 1 month
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Would Jenny allow Danny to tinker with her? I know robotics isn’t exactly the same as aerospace engineering (and I do be headcanoning that my boy chose this as his major since he wants to be an astronaut), but with all the experience he had from handling his parents inventions I believe he can be trusted with fixing something as complex as a robot. I like to think that Danny was really impressed with how Jenny was made and secretly wanted to take a look at how she works, but was too shy to ask because he knows how it’s like to be treated like an object and not a person (with the whole “ghosts are non-sentient globs of ectoplasm with post-human consciousness” spiel he heard so many times) and didn’t want to make Jenny uncomfortable. I believe it took Jenny some time and getting to know Danny and his engineering skills before she let him fix her when she got something badly broken. It was like a show of ultimate trust from Jenny’s side and Danny was flattered, humbled and very respectful. And super careful of course, constantly asking how Jenny’s doing or feeling while he tinkered, mindful of her. I bet she was touched.
Not gonna lie, this is one of the more fascinating asks I got - if only because its incredibly interesting to read about your take/interpretation of Danny & Jenny's relationship! I hope you don't mind me saying, but it feels like you adore both characters and it's very cute!
Well, now, in HoM AU, both Danny and Jenny are close friends and indeed Danny is one of the few people who Jenny trusts with - well, herself - her mechanical self. Like you, I headcanon Danny as quite mechanicaly gifted - in HoM AU he actually graduated college/uni with engineering degree, so he got education to polish his raw skills! He is one of the first people who would help Jenny in and out of the field, if there is a minor malfunction or an injury of some sort!
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But even for that to happen it took a couple of years and a few adventures together.
So to answer the original question, I would have to say that in HoM AU specifically, neither Danny would ask to 'tinker' with her, nor Jenny would probably be totally comfortable with that question if asked. 'Tinkering' would imply a degree of casual poking around, and in this case, both Danny and Jenny have certain life experiences that gave them... boundaries when it comes to their own and others' autonomy. Jenny especially.
(a bit of random background info dump here to explain the reasoning, but feel free to ignore it, since i basically answered the ask xD i just got bitten by a writing bunny, so its gotten a bit long - be warned!)
When Jenny was younger and only just acclimatizing herself with human world and amongst teenagers, she was rather blaze at times with how much access to her body she gave to her human friends and acquaintances.
After all, her mother was rather frank about it - often poking around in Jenny's mechanics and code. But it was her mother, who created her (sort of 'why are you covering yourself, i made you i already know what you have' mother attitude, which is a bit over-controlling and invasive to other's autonomy, but well, Jenny is a robot after all) and it a completely different deal from others.
So, despite her mother's warnings there are instances when Jenny was not very careful. Like when she allowed Brad, Tuck and Sheldon to literally remove and rip out her stuff in pursuit of fashion goals. Or when she dropped her guard around Todd Sweeney and got reprogrammed for her good deed.
And during the events of the last episode, she was once again controlled, by Dr Locus. While not exactly her fault, it still left a lasting impression that any mechanically gifted person could be dangerous to her.
Now, this is where we venture into my personal headcanons for MLAATR that are tied into HoM-verse:
Another aspect of Jenny's developed caution to giving access to her body - is the fact that she is not considered as a real person in the eye of the government/world. She is a thing, a weapon created by Dr. Walkman. She does not have the same rights as a human, and on paper she does not even have rights to her own body. It's all patented Nora Wakeman technology, (secretly) founded by the government.
And she has been fighting it ever since she was a teenager and refused to be called an IT - XJ-9 - and became a HER, a teenage girl Jenny, who also just happens to be a robot.
At first it started as a simple teenage rebellion and she went to school and started to hang out with other kids, but what about later after she graduates? Will she be even allowed to? Sure, maybe her school will give her a diploma, but how legal will it be to give something like that to someone who is legally not a real person? After all, its not like when other kids will turn 18 and can be their own people, not under the legal control of their parents. Jenny is her mother's property, intellectual and physical. For her to be considered a real person in the eye of government, it would require a law being passed about recognizing sentience of Artificial Intelligence.
And sure, she could probably be made an exception, being a hero robot and all, but the problem is, she is not the only human-made robot in existence! What about her sisters, who are prototypes and are not as developed as her? Her brother, who seemed to develop sentiency to the point of turning on humans?? Melody and Killgore?? And its not only in her world (cartoon), but in others (since its a crossover). So the question about AI/Robot sentience, no matter if they are good or bad or how developed they are, would not concern only her, it would be a global debate.
And we all know how the governments of the world would feel about passing laws about sentience of artificial beings that were created to serve the human race. It would be a struggle one way or another.
So, as she grows up and sees the world refusing to aknowledge her as a person, she doesnt have legal rights to finish school and go to college, to get a job, to get married, heck she cant even have a legal documentation that doesnt says 'Dr. Wakeman's creation'. The government says: your body belongs to us, because we paid for Dr. Wakeman to make you - you belong to us, we control you.
That, on top of several unpleasant experiences with other people disregarding her autonomy, will equal to Jenny trying to get some sense of that control back. So she starts to be more cautious about how much access others have to her physical self; she starts to build and reinforce boundaries with other people, starting with her family and friends.
It was one of the darkest days in Sheldon's life, when Jenny started to firmly say 'no' to whenever he asked her about her inner workings and casual access for poking around. xD Tuck was not a happy camper either, that his favorite robot friend became very stingy with all the cool stuff. But Brad got it. And after gentle (and sometimes not) reminders, others became more understanding.
It was a little harder with her mother. Dr. Wakeman truly loved her daughter, but she was a scientist first and mother second. She was so used to casual access to Jenny, in order to keep maitanance that it was hard for her to break the habits. Its still a constant struggle, but she has gotten so much better.
Now, when it came to her new friends amongst HoMies, she already has built a set of boundaries that allowed her to feel more secure as a person, despite how the world sees her, but she is much more reserved to opening herself up to others, at least compared to how she first approached people when she was younger.
It took a few missions and getting to know them better, for her to start trusting with them with her mechanical self. But now a few years later, she feels comfortable enough with most of them to give her a helping hand when needed!
Of course not everyone are capable of helping her though: Danny, Kim and Zak are three of more mechanically oriented people who can help. Though Danny is the one with actual education in that field, while Kim and Zak learned more by necessity, from Kim's various jobs and Zak to operate the Saturday's equipments.
When Rex joined them, he actually became the second best person for her to come to if she needed help. Not only because he has unprecedent skills in mechanics, but also because of his nanites. (but thats info dump for another time, lol)
Jun has some basic knowledge in mechanics, but nowhere near enough for her to feel comfortable poking in Jenny's insides. Jake is perhaps the least capable of helping, when it comes to engineering, followed by newbie Randy (tho we really aint counting him tbh xD).
Ben is a complicated situation - he has some training and knowledge in engineering and robotics because of his Plumber training, but Jenny has heard horror tales from Gwen about how he treats his stuff (the whole hacking/playing with Omnitrix settings), so she flat out refuses for Ben to touch her. However in emergency/battle situation she would allow Ben to use one of his aliens to do so (like, Grey Matter or Upgrade).
So, we talked about Jenny's experiences and why they would contribute to her feeling uncomfortable if someone asked to 'tinker' with her.
Now, let's talk about why Danny would not ask to 'tinker' with her in the first place.
Like you said, Danny is all to familiar with the struggle of being part of something tat is hardly recognized as a sentient species - he had to listen to his parents dismiss ghost sentience most of his younger life. Of course, they have gotten much better since the... 'finale' of DP, but this sort of racism? xenophobia? (im not rally sure which term to use tbh) prejudice against ghosts would have left a lasting impression on Danny.
So I dont remember if I ever implied it, but in HoM AU - events of DP finale happened very differently and the resulting consequences of it diverged a lot from Mr ButtHurtman's 'canon'.
(Also, I had ideas about it, before a Glitch In Time came out, so events from there were not taken into consideration. )
I don't want to reveal much, because it is kinda one of my planned flashback for HoM, but the events that happened reinforced Danny's ... well lets say regard of people's autonomy? It's kind of hard to put into words.
Ok, let's explain it like this: Danny would not ask Jenny if he could look at how she worked and if he could tinker with her, because it would be like if his Mom and Dad casually asked if they could perform a vivisection on him to see how different he is from a full human.
And while sure, the comparison might sound a bit extreme, since there is a difference when it comes to robots and humans about 'poking around' in their innards. But to Danny - it would be too close of a comparison - because of the whole 'recognition of sentience' thing.
After all, wasn't it just some years ago, his parents cried that ghost are nothing more than lump of malicious energy that have no feelings? They changed their mind after Danny's reveal, which allowed them to actually listen and look into evidence proving otherwise and learn. And here is Jenny, struggling to be recognized as a person, since she is considered nothing more than a lump of metal with no feelings - just a weapon to be pointed in a certain direction.
And Danny would feel like asking Jenny if he could casually poke inside her, is a bit... hypocritical? And not to mention insenstitive. After all, he knows how she feels - she is basically still living his worst imagined life in some ways.
So, I don't think he will ever ask to study how she works by casually poking inside her.
HOWEVER -
At some point, after they became friends, Danny would feel like he should know at least some basics on how Jenny works, just so he could help her in an emergency.
I imagine it happened after a particularly rough mission, and Danny had to help Jenny back home since she was unable to do so herself, so Dr. Wakeman could fix her. After some time thinking, he would sit in front of both Nora and Jenny and ask them for permission if he could learn how Jenny works - from Nora.
After all, Danny does not need to poke inside Jenny to learn how she functions, when there is her mother right there - the creator, the maintanance and doctor all in one package, with access to blueprints and all intricate knowledge, who can evaluate what Danny needs to know in accordance to his passable engineering skills. She could teach him the basics - but of course not without Jenny's permission.
So he asks her, if he could learn, because he is tired of looking how she gets hurt along with them, but unlike most of them she can not be easily fixed with bandages and some time. And Danny, since he is one of the few of them who has the skills, would like to be actually able to help her with those skills. But it is her body - it is her choice, to trust him or not.
And Jenny would be speechless. It would be the first time someone asked her like that. Not even Kim, who is one of her closest friends, asked before (but mostly because Kim was perfectly aware that she is nowhere skilled enough to even think about it).
And you would be right. It would be a show of ultimate trust from Jenny, to agree for Danny to learn. And maybe at some point, simply learning, turned into more on hands learning in some small ways. And Jenny's trust was never betrayed, and Danny always stayed humbled and aware of that.
so, i hope the answer was satisfying, or at least entertaining for you! thank you again, your ask was delightful to read and allowed me to explore some of my own backstory parts for HoM a little bit more!
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crescentfool · 8 months
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I noticed you're a Ryomina!!! How did you get into it? And do you have any good fanfics/doujinshi you can advice me to read? ANYTHING on Ryomina actually? I'm dying for anything about them!!! Thanks!!
yes!!! it's me!!! i'm ryomina fan (one of many)!!! thank you for visiting my askbox, i'll do my best to answer all of the questions because it always makes me happy to see that ryomina sparks joy for people! :D
...this got really long because i like linking to things, so i'm putting it under a read more (IM VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM)
how did i get into it? i got into persona 3 around august 2021 through the movies- at the time my only experience with the persona series was with P5R / P5S / P5D. p3 was the one that interested me the most (i thought minato was very pretty + i caught wind that the themes of the game were very resonant with people). i picked the movies over the game because i'm a guy who plays games at a snails pace, haha.
admittedly, i did latch onto ryomina because of the scenes in the third and fourth movie (i have mentioned in the tags of this art i drew how much i felt like i was exploding and blasting off to the moon watching it).
but what really dug me into the ryomina hole (and what has kept me there) was thinking about how much ryoji encapsulates the themes of p3- and how interconnected his fate is with minato. i wrote some musings about their dynamic here, if you're interested!
tl;dr: what if we were both boys and we were mirror images of each other and i inherited your kindness and looks but god doomed our narrative even though we're soulmates
on ryomina fanworks recommendations:
regarding fics: i'm going to assume that you've probably read the fics that have the highest kudo ratings on them, so i won't really be listing those.
a personal favorite fic that i always hold close to my heart is Eurydice's Vow by crescentmoontea, which explores the idea of ryomina in p5r's third semester. this was the first fic i read about ryomina and it made me tear up lots...
i also think a lot about I Alone Await You by Nail_gun, literally scrumptious writing that captures the ryomina dynamic so so well. actually check out Nail_gun's other ryomina fics while you're at it too!
other fun fic i'm fond of: can't get my mind out of those memories (what were they?) by foxmulder_whereartthou. ryoji being homeless lives rent free in my head and it's all because of this fic. there's a bunch of other fun ryominas from the same author too (i still need to read them)
BkZa555 also has some fun AU scenarios if you're into that too, notably with Zagreus (P5-Setting, Ryoji focus) and The Definition of Insanity (TIME LOOP fuckery!), but they're currently ongoing.
these were some ones that came to my mind first- as i have the strongest recollection reading them. admittedly i haven't really been reading fic this year, so i don't have many recommendations from fic that came out this year. but if you're so inclined to let ryomina consume your soul, i definitely recommend giving the newer works in the ryomina tag a look-see and see if it strikes your fancy!
as a side note, i do have a few ryomina fics that i've bookmarked on my ao3 here, though i have to say that i'm not sure how well they hold up in terms of like... what i would seek out of a fic these days. but they made past me happy so i bookmarked them, LOL. it's kind of outdated (my collection of fic recs has my old username *disintegrates*).
regarding doujinshi: i have not read all the ryomina doujinshi available, but as a starting point, please take a look at this list from pandora-scans from livejournal!
notably, this is where you can find the strawberry-chan say good bye doujin- which features a small and cute comic from shuji sogabe (the p3/p4 manga artist), as well as other artists. the existence of this doujinshi is the funniest thing to me because it's like "HEY if you're wondering what the volume 8 cover is really gay it's because sogabe contributed to a ryomina doujin." this fact makes my head spin (positive). it explains a lot about the manga.
regarding persona side material:
i know you didn't ask for these but i thought that i mine as well list these too, since i feel that the side materials have some fun expansions on ryoji and minato's interactions. i haven't... watched/read all of these but, hey, i like to share these things!
for comic anthologies for the persona series (some of which have ryoji!). if you're interested in reading them, here's a scanlation index from maboroshi-no on tumblr. i don't think this is a comprehensive list, but i think it will be a great starting point!
for some translations of the persona 3 drama cds, check out imaginary-numbers on dreamwidth! ryoji and minato interactions can specifically be found in the persona 3 character drama cd vol. 1, and for the audio + english subs, you can watch this video on youtube:
youtube
and ohh the musical. ryoji singing and dancing gives me so much joy. i haven't watched the musical in it's entirety (only fragments), but here are some links that may be of interest to you:
Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Sakuya version - playlist for the first p3 musical, translated by Phoenix Maiika.
Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Kotone version - playlist for the femc version!! also translated by Phoenix Maiika on YouTube.
Persona 3: The Weird Masquerade (English Subtitles) - playlist by rumio!
P3 Weird Musical DVD & Soundtrack Booklet Scans by rumio_k - twitter thread that links to these funsies, if you don't have twitter, here's the publicly shared drive link.
god. these sure are a lot of links, huh? i hope you enjoy them- pick and choose whatever sounds most appealing! (if this overwhelmed you im sorry GKLHLDH i just like being very comprehensive in my answers about things so i got carried away).
and as a reminder, you (and anyone else reading) are always welcome to browse my tags/archive and reblog things from there anytime! i have... nearly 300 ryomina posts which, while mostly consists of art, has a few fics, meta, hcs, gifs, memes, and whatnot scattered about.
or browse the minato and ryoji tags too! there's.. nearly 1k minato. and 500 ish ryoji. and they're going to keep on growing because i can't stop being obsessed with archiving these things. god help me i am so deep in this hole called ryomina hell and now you're here too. welcome aboard!
there's always going to be a lot of fun ways to enjoy rotating ryomina around in one's brain, i think- they're a pairing with such fun symbolic imagery that is So Deep (to me) but ALSO they're immensely hilarious and weird guys (affectionate). so i love to share these things in hopes that it gives you joy too! they are the most couple ever (to me) (i'm biased)
thank you again for the ask! i hope it can satiate your need for more ryomina, and be a nice aide in exploring the p3 fanspace :)
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lokiina · 6 months
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Perception...
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fanficmemes · 1 year
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Get an email from ao3 telling me that an author I’m subscribed to has a new fic. Immediately click the link and check it out. Author says it’s just a short fic, and then apologizes profusely. It is 137k. I send the author all the money in my bank account
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blackcrowing · 6 months
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hi) I used to be a wiccan, I moved on from it because it no longer felt freeing and I didn't feel connected to it anymore, but I never knew it's something bad? could you please direct me to some good info about it?
There... is a lot going on with it to be entirely honest with you, probably more than could possibly be addressed in just one post of any kind. But I would say the core problems with it as a religion are centered in its founding, ie. that it was essentially completely made up by an English man in the 1940/50s. To make a very long story short, he was basically an amature anthropologist (the concept of anthropology interested him, but he had no formal training. which even if he did anthropology at the time was EXTREMELY colonistic in its applications). So he took aspects of many many different cultures, found similar belief structures in them, and decided to squish them together to make his own "ancient, secret practice." (The wheel of year is an example of this that is ESPECIALLY irksome to Celtic based polytheists.) Thus, Gardnerian Wicca was born.
Because it was pretty rigidly patriarchal (while saying how liberating and equal it was, which was standard for occult groups of the time) there was a backlash and Dianic Wicca grew out of that. They tend to have the most influence on butchering complex deities down to two dimensional figure heads, removing them from their cultural context completely and misappropriating them, causing great confusion to new polytheists looking for information. You're likely to see hundreds of blogs/articles/whatever if you look up say, Morrighan, that claim she is a triple goddess (in the maiden, mother, crone sense), and corresponds with other goddess like Freyja and Hecate. These statements remove her from her cultural context and are likely to set the blood of any one who genuinely studies her on fire.
There was also the Alexandrian Wicca, which set off the common mixing of the terms 'Wicca' and 'witchcraft' causing great confusion among lay-peoples and beginners that all witchcraft is Wiccan. This grew the concepts that are now popular in eclectic witchcraft books like the threefold law and again flattened and erased MANY folk practices as they got absorbed with little or no context into "Wiccan Witchcraft." See anything Silver Ravenwolf has ever written for an example.
Lastly (that I know of but honestly I can guarentee I have miss many many things even in this rather lengthy response) there was the W.I.T.C.H. movement, a semi feminist/occult... thing... which further muddied the waters and is more than likely responsible for the ideas people have in the community about male practitioners of magic and male polytheists, hell even some male deities.
Also I think this all continues to be a big problem because not only are people getting pulled into Wiccan framing when it comes to the occult inadvertently (because it has leaked into every "new witch" book that exists) but MANY folks out there when confronted about their appropriative behavior don't learn from that conversation, instead they double down on why its actually ok for them to "smudge" or why its actually ok that they misapproprate complex deities and treat them like collectable playing cards.
TLDR: Wicca perpetuates cultural erasure in witch/occult/magic circles and is in many ways responsible for problematic themes in those circles and when it comes to lay-peoples understandings of what those circles contain and believe. And they tend to defend their colonialist mindset whenever challenged on it.
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chenfordspiral · 1 year
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A Chenford Thesis on 5x08
So, during my latest season 5 rewatch (thank you, hiatus nr 28593 this season), I kept getting stuck at 5x08. I could watch the Chenford scenes a hundred times a day. I’ve had a lot of time to think about why I absolutely love this episode and the way Chenford finally happened. 
Apologies if I keep repeating myself sometimes. This got way out of hand for some reason and I might’ve lost track a bit, so…
Anyway, let’s get started with my essay, or whatever this is, on how we got to the end of 5x08 and why Chenford’s development makes me weak in the knees. 
Would a big love confession scene because one of them is in danger have been nice to see in the moment? Sure. Would it have taken away from the impact of it all? Yes, yes, I think it would’ve. Because these two characters are not that. They’re private people, Tim especially, and yes, Lucy is more outgoing and once told Nolan to go for a big-ass proposal with Bailey, but when it really matters, that’s also not her. A big confession in the heat of the moment would’ve been OOC for them. The quieter, just the two of them outside way worked way better than anything else could have.
But I’m getting ahead of myself already. Let’s start at the beginning. 
All of 5x08 is the perfect lead-up to the end scene of that episode. 
Both Tim and Lucy are clearly uncomfortable at the idea of having to spend an entire shift together in the same car. They haven’t been the same with each other since they found a certain someone on Lucy’s couch and Tim encouraged her to go to UC school. 
They’ve become so much more than just colleagues to one another, but neither one of them is ready to have to face the other for the next approximately 10-12 hours. At this point, we’ve seen Lucy realize that Tim means more to her than just a friend, and we’ve definitely seen that Tim fell head-over-heals in 4x22/5x01 and just a little bit more each episode since.
So, there is nothing easy about having to be this close to each other again while thinking the other doesn’t return those romantic feelings. We see that weirdness in the shop before Lucy decides to break the silence. Without even trying, the manage to slip into a conversation that feels like them. They’re bickering like an old married couple. 
They disagree, but don’t insult each other for their different opinions – they banter back and forth, the way they have since sometime during Lucy’s rookie year. 
This wonderful moment, where we briefly saw them being them again, gets interrupted by Lucy’s idiotic WIP. Be warned, I will not be nice to this guy. I might even get through all of this without having to type out his name. Yes, I’m that petty. No, I’m not sorry. 
Lucy looks super uncomfortable right from the start. She doesn’t want to talk to this guy right now, especially not with Tim right next to her. But Assford doesn’t even register her unease. She manages to avoid having to talk very long, and couldn’t have hung up the phone any more quickly after he says he loves her. 
Now, we know Tim isn’t one for personal talk in the shop, even though Lucy’s already broken through that barrier here. But we saw the way he was avoiding even looking Lucy in the eye before she scurried off to get the war bags back at the station. He doesn’t want to have to spend so much time being so close to her. 
He doesn’t want to get involved in her personal life again. (Okay, he does, but you know what I mean.) But he clocks in on her uneasiness. And yeah, he didn’t think Lucy and the idiot he set her up with were serious enough to be talking about moving in together. So, he starts a conversation about something personal. Because he needs to know. 
“Are you two moving in together?” He looks and sounds a little broken. Because if they’re that serious, he really never has a chance. I know, he doesn’t think he has one now, but that would shut that door even more. Lucy doesn’t say yes, but she also doesn’t say no. But she does say that mr. clingy just dropped it on her earlier that day. We all see how confused and nervous she is. 
He asks if they’re happy – notice his use of ‘right?!’ at the end of that question; it’s become a pattern with them – and that moving in would be the obvious thing to do next. See, he can’t have her but still wants her to be happy. Even though he clearly doesn’t like the guy she’s with. Tim, you big selfless idiot.  
And Lucy tries to deflect, tries to convince him, and herself, that she’s happy with the guy. But we can all tell that she isn’t. And that Tim isn’t convinced either. 
The conversation is put on hold because they get called to a dispute. This might seem very random, but that couple served two purposes. One, giving an example of a couple that might be doing things better than Lucy with her WIP but still not the right way. And two, showing that sometimes, cops get called to weird scenes that seem totally random. But that’s patrol. 
Then they’re all busy trying to help the woman who’s had a bomb strapped to her neck. We see what they have to deal with on patrol, the inhuman things people do. We see them trying to handle seeing a woman killed by a bomb.  
They’re still talking about it when they’re back in the shop after it all went down. Again, they’re pulled out of the moment by her pathetic-excuse-for-a-boyfriend. This time, he seems to call to make sure she’s okay after hearing what happened on the news. But as soon as she says she’s ok, he changes course. Immediately putting pressure on her by talking about a house they should move on if she likes it. 
She hasn’t even seen the house. Let alone actually agreed to even look at houses. In the morning, she said “I’ll think about it. We’ll talk tonight.” That was not a yes. It was a ‘maybe; can we please talk about this later’. But he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t realize how much he’s bothering and smothering her right now. 
Tim only has to take one look at Lucy to see that she’s uncomfortable. He was already looking at her when she turned to glance at him, likely looking for his help to get her out of this conversation. Lucy, honey. Wanting to get out of a conversation with your WIP should ring several alarm bells. You shouldn’t need ‘saving’. 
But Tim does what he always does – making sure Lucy’s okay. So he puts on his best TO voice and tells her to stop taking personal calls while on duty. Dumbass takes the hint, but not before throwing some shade at Tim.  
Lucy takes a moment to regroup after hanging up the phone before she turns to Tim. “Thanks”. Tim nods his acknowledgement, and they both turn their focus back to work. But I’m still stuck at how Lucy looked for comfort and help from Tim and he gave it willingly. Because he wants her to be happy. And those phone calls put her on edge. 
So he did what he could do to help make her feel a bit better. I love this guy and his big-ass heart. 
The next time we see them in the shop, Lucy is looking at her phone again. Tim takes one look at her after glancing at her phone (Timmy, you bein’ kinda nosy) and starts talking again. Again, he is the one to start a conversation about personal stuff. 
He doesn’t shy away from the truth and just says it as it is: tell your idiotic WIP that you don’t wanna move in if you don’t want to move in. And I’m not sure if Lucy is just very out of tune with her feelings or what, but come on, she knows exactly what the problem is and why she doesn’t want to move in with mr. ignorance.
Every time I rewatch this episode and get to this specific scene, I cannot stop myself from saying “You know exactly what the problem is. It’s sitting right there next to you” after Lucy says she doesn’t get what the problem is. Seriously, even if I’m not actively listening, that part always gets my attention and I mutter those words. 
Lucy keeps talking, saying that she and the WIP are great together and that they never fight. Well, Tim coming in again with the truth: maybe that’s the problem. Or one of them, anyway. If you don’t fight, there’s barely any passion. Lack of friction and arguments doesn’t leave much room to improve and work on a relationship if you want to make it last. 
Lucy isn’t one to shy away from confrontation. We’ve seen her stand her ground with Tim basically since day one. Why is she not herself with Ch… oh, almost typed his name. Woops. Anyhow, we all know Lucy usually confronts what’s bothering her head-on. Why is she hiding? 
In semi-typical Chenford (or is it Lucy?)-fashion, she tries to deflect a bit here, jokingly asking if she and her can’t-read-the-room-bf should be more like the couple from the call they dealt with earlier. Tim denies, because that is not what he means. 
“Do you guys not fight because you don’t disagree on things or because you don’t think it’s worth the bother?” 
Again, right to the point. He hits the nail right on the head. We can see that Lucy realizes the latter to be true. She doesn’t argue with ADA Boring because it’s not worth it. She doesn’t put in the effort like she usually does. Why?
Well, because those arguments would immediately show that they are not compatible, and it would likely end that relationship sooner rather than later. Deep down, Lucy knows that.
Right from their first interaction, you could see that they don’t see eye-to-eye on things. Yes, her and Tim don’t agree on a lot of things, either. But she puts in that effort. Because she cares. 
This whole conversation shows that she’s staying with the dumbass not because she really wants to, but more because of guilt, fear, and the fact that she doesn’t want to commit to any guy. Well, there is one she’d love to commit to, but thinks she’ll never have the chance to. 
Guilt because she stills blames herself for the Rosalind debacle even though we all know it’s not her fault. Commitment issues because she hasn’t felt about anybody that seriously before, until... well, we’ll get to that and the fear part later. 
Tim can see that she realizes that she’s just along for the ride in that relationship, trying to commit to someone who seems great on paper but isn’t right for her. Once more, Tim tells her what he thinks.
“You deserve someone who’s worth the effort.” 
Because he wants her to be happy, because he cherishes and adores and loves her. 
Because he wants her to be in a relationship where she wants to work through the tough stuff, where she doesn’t shy away from the conflict, where she can be herself. 
Because he wants her to realize that she’s not gonna be happy with this guy when she can’t even be herself without having that relationship implode.  
Time and time again, they’ve shown us how incompatible Lucy and mr. you-can-leave-anytime-now are. Even their first encounter was indicative that this would never work out (still baffles me that she went out with him again after that double date). He seems more interested in forming her into someone he wants instead of really accepting who she is. 
And that just won’t do in a relationship. Ok, again, Tim and Lucy constantly try to make the other see things differently, but they’re not trying to change each other. At least not in a way that would totally go against who they are. They want them to be better versions of themselves. 
I mean, come on. Lucy as a lawyer? Tim retiring at 40ish? Who are these people who claim to love them? 
Tim and Lucy constantly make each other want to be better. 
And look at Lucy. Surely, she can see that montage that the Rookie SM account posted as part of the sneak peak before the episode aired play out before her eyes. All the times they’ve put in an effort. For each other. Even when they were still rookie and TO.  
She made an effort back then. Why not with her collar of a WIP? It took some time, but I’ve come to realize that the title for the episode might as well have referred to Assford’s presence in Lucy’s life and how he’s like a weight holding her down.  
The conversation seems to be over for the time being as they both turn a bit away from one another, lost in thought, especially Lucy. She absorbs everything he just said. The wheels are starting to turn in her head. 
Before either one of them can too wrapped up in thoughts, we see a car speeding past them. They discover that a second person has become victim of having a collar bomb strapped around their neck. 
I’m gonna skip over some case related moments but will say that I love how easily they slip from personal talk in the shop to being solely focused on the case and trying to find a way to help the guy. Now, let me jump right to when Creighton just takes matters into his own hands and starts cutting the bomb off with garden tools. 
It’s just a little moment in an episode with many awesome Chenford scenes, but I absolutely love how Tim reaches for Lucy to get her to cover behind the door of the shop. And then how he’s shielding her, keeping her behind him as best as possible with one hand on her shoulder and the other on her arm. 
Tim, your love for her is showing. And I’m getting emotional again. 
This entire sequence, from seeing the collar bomb on Creighton to when Tim radios in to pick up their suspect shows how easily Tim and Lucy slipped back into their partnership. He lets her take charge with the interview. They wordlessly communicate with one another. They just need to share a few looks to know what the other is thinking and move forward with the questioning. 
You can’t force this kind of connection, it’s just there. We can all see and feel it. And they probably do as well.  
We get to the last Chenford podcar scene of the episode. They’re coordinating with Harper on how to proceed after getting the last victim’s name. After, we hear Lucy’s phone going off, again. Thank god it’s not another face time call with what’s-his-name and just a message.
But even just a text is mildly pissing Lucy off. Because dude keeps sending her stuff even though she’s made it perfectly clear she wanted to talk about it with him later, not while on duty. 
Tim immediately picks up on it again and asks if it’s more listings, which, of course it is. Because ADA clueless is being an inconsiderate idiot. Even more so for sending listings for places Lucy would never even consider living, even if she wanted to move in with jackass. 
Off of her frustration, Tim works up the courage to ask something he’s probably been wondering about since the start of their day. “Do you love him?”
No, Timothy, she does not. Otherwise she’d be happy to talk to the WIP about it every chance she gets, not be completely frustrated with him. But he asks anyway because he needs to hear the answer.  
Lucy tries to deflect again, similar to the way she did when he asked if she was happy. ‘They haven’t been dating long’... which, well, is semi-true. It is the longest relationship for Lucy that we’ve seen on the show (gag). 
And it’s been roughly 10ish months at this point (thank you, TR, for the super wacky timeline. I’m deciding to go with November here, hence the 10 months, because we saw a date of Nov ’22 in 5x09; but who really knows…). 
After so long, you know whether you love someone or not. And Lucy knows she doesn’t love him but tries to avoid having to admit it right away. 
Tim seems to accept her obvious avoidance. But lets her know that dumbass loves her. So she shouldn’t lead him on if she doesn’t feel that way about him. 
I don’t know why I always get so emotional watching this. Probably because Tim’s statement could easily be about himself, too. 
And now Lucy might finally be realizing the problem. She knows that her WIP loves her (although, I’m still not convinced, because he shouldn’t be trying to change and pressure her into anything if he really did love her). 
Lucy knows that she should, theoretically, love him back. Because on paper, he seems great and she even says, “he’s so great in so many different ways”. 
I hate this line. Because time and time again, they’ve managed to show him as a not great guy. No matter how much I try, I cannot for the life of me think of him as anything but annoying and so obviously not right for Lucy. 
Anyway. Lucy proceeds to talk as she processes what’s bothering her and comes to the conclusion that “he’s just not…“ and immediately looks over at Tim before looking back out the window. Lucy, what?! 
Could you be more obvious? You basically just said you can’t love Assford because he’s not Tim. You basically just said you’re in love with Tim… cool. I’m cool. Perfectly fine. Not losing my mind over this at all. 
That was the loudest unspoken ‘you’ I’ve ever heard. And that’s the problem of it all, isn’t it? She’s realized at some point that she likes Tim more than she thought possible and seems frustrated with herself for not being able to let him go after thinking he rejected her. Frustrated with the whole situation, really.
But that’s also just it. You can’t just stop wanting someone. Yes, you try to move on when you think it’s never gonna happen, but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna be easy or happen quickly. 
Lucy seems to never truly have been in love with anyone before. Otherwise she would’ve committed to someone already, and not just tried to settle for dumbass ADA bitch. 
Finally, Lucy has voiced the problem of it all: she can’t love anybody else because somehow, she fell in love with Tim. Again, she can’t love Assford because he’s. not. Tim. Swoon. 
I’m sure Tim could feel that her gaze shifted toward him… whether he knew that’s what she almost said or not, I’m not sure. But I am sure he hoped that’s what she could mean. 
He looks over at her, trying to figure her out. But she’s already looking away, so he turns his focus back on the road. Both of them are left with their own thoughts and the case. And I can practically feel the tension through my screen. 
Tim and Lucy, my loves. Can you two please actually talk to one another? Without leaving any room for doubts, without subtext, without beating around the bush. 
Just say what you really wanna say. The other person might surprise you with their answer. 
And then we get to the last scene of the episode. Every moment has led to this. 
We see Tim sitting outside the station, alone, before we see Lucy walk up to him, getting them in the same shot together. And isn’t that just the perfect metaphor for their relationship? Tim was alone and broken when they met in the Pilot. And then there comes Lucy, sunshine personified, and bit by bit, brings light back into his life, stealing his heart along the way without even trying. 
She constantly challenged him, made him see when he was in the wrong and why, yet never judged or blamed him for things out of his control (wife who abandoned him, learning differently, childhood trauma because of an abusive father, taking the blame for everything) and made sure he knew that those things were nothing bad or to be ashamed of or his fault. 
Unlike so many other people in his life, Lucy never tried to change him. She simply brought out the person he is underneath all the tough guy exterior. She didn’t ask him to change - he wanted to be better because her opinion of him started to matter at some point. 
We might all see the difference Lucy made in Tim’s life more easily than the impact he’s had on her, but the deeper we look, the more obvious it gets. 
The Lucy from 1x01 needed to learn that the world was not as nice as we’d all sometimes wish it were. 
Tim said it himself in 3x11. She’s a kind and empathetic person who needed to see the world in a different light. He might’ve gone about it a bit controversially at first, but that all stemmed from a place of deep-seated hurt and heartbreak (still no excuse, but more understandable and shows that he’s human). 
But he still managed to challenge her. Made her see that she could be and is a great cop. Trained her to believe in herself and her abilities - something her parents never did. And something Lucy desperately needed in her life. Someone who believes in her and trusts her choices. Someone who accepts her the way she is. Someone who has her back. 
They both became better versions of themselves because of each other. Because there was finally a person who didn’t judge. No, it wasn’t romantic right from the start. But that pull toward one another has always been there. It’s only gotten stronger as they got to know each other better and then eventually bubbled to the surface at the end of season 4 and beginning of 5. 
Kay, back to the actual scene. 
I still really wanna know what Lucy was planning on talking to Tim about. Somebody please tell me… because “We need to talk” is usually not accompanied by anything good. 
I love how Tim immediately puts his phone down and turns his attention, and his body, toward Lucy. She has his full attention, no matter what this conversation is going to be about. 
Now, Lucy is the one who comes to Tim, but he is the one to start the conversation. And because they’ve been talking about her relationship with mr. can’t-read-the-room-and-pick-up-on-Lucy’s-discomfort before, it’s what he thinks they’ll continue to talk about.  
First though: just think about how weird this must be for them. All day, Tim’s been trying to help the woman he’s fallen for work through her relationship with someone else. And Lucy’s been working through the problems she has with her WIP with the guy she’s actually in love with. 
Yup, weird. 
Anyway.
We can tell that Tim is not expecting this conversation to be about anything but Lucy and her relationship with Assford. He doesn’t even entertain the idea that Lucy might’ve come to him to talk about them. He just wants to help her see that whatever she’s doing is not working. He’s being the friend he’s become for her over time. Because he’s not expecting to ever mean as much to her as she means to him. 
“Look, this clearly isn’t working out. I don’t know why you won’t just admit it.” 
Thank you, Tim, for saying what the entire fandom’s been thinking for a while now. 
“Unless, I mean, is it guilt? Is it because of what Rosalind did to him?” 
For some reason, likely because she’s frustrated with the situation as is and really didn’t want to talk about her WIP, Lucy deflects. Again. “Oh, like I’m the only one who stayed too long when things aren’t working? You dated a lifeguard. You don’t even like going to the beach!” 
Okay, I have to admit that I love Lucy’s roasting. So I need to pause here for a second. I had this all semi-planned out but then my emotions got the better of me. So, enjoy while I air out some of those frustrations. 
Both Tim and Lucy stayed with their respective partners for far too long. And for the wrong reasons. 
I get that Lucy felt guilty, and is too compassionate to leave someone when they’re hurt. Especially when she thinks it’s her fault. 
And neither one of them wanted to be alone. But Tim never should’ve stayed with Lifeguard Bitch after he realized they were on completely different paths regarding the future. 
I’m not saying she should change what she wants for Tim, but neither should he settle for something he clearly doesn’t want. He even said in 4x05 that he expected to already have kids. So he still wants it. He shouldn’t be with someone who clearly doesn’t want it. 
There’s no future there. But being alone wasn’t an option either because then he wouldn’t have been able to try to ignore his feelings for Lucy for as long as he did. 
In typical Tim Bradford fashion, he compromised who he is and what he wants to please the person he’s with. 
Take his reaction to Lifeguard’s revelations in 4x21: “Ok… great”. No Tim, not great. You clearly want the wife, the house and the 2.5 kids. Why are you not telling her that? End it right then and there. 
Why are you always the one compromising? Relationships are supposed to be a give and take, not just give for you, and take for Blondie. 
If she really did love him, she wouldn’t have dumped him the way she did. And not for the reason she did. Seriously, did she not know what his job was when they first went out? I mean, Bitch please. 
Sorry for the choice of words. My distaste for her and mr. hums-the-song just grew exponentially while writing this. Anyway, let me get back to the Chenford of it all. 
Now it’s Tim’s turn to be frustrated. Because this is not what this is about. All day he’s been trying to figure out why Lucy is still with Assford when she is clearly not happy, despite what she said earlier. He’s been trying to help her figure it all out.  
Tim wants Lucy to realize she deserves better, someone worthy of her. And no, he doesn’t think that’s him. In his mind, she is far too nice to ever possibly being able to like him in that way. So, this isn’t for him. It’s not about him. 
He says it himself: “This is not about me. No, it’s not about me, it’s about you. Staying in this safe relationship... because you’re scared.” Damn Tim. Straight to the point. 
But as soon as he says it, Lucy turns the conversation on its axis and actually makes it about them. Because all this time, it’s been about them, about him. “Of course I’m scared. If we do this and it doesn’t work, I’ll have ruined the most important relationship in my life.”
Again: Lucy?! What did you just say? My lack of words here is an accurate representation of my reaction when we were all watching it for the first time in December. 
And, yeah. I’ve seen different opinions about this whole scene. I don’t think it’s entirely out of the blue. We’ve seen them both struggle with their emotions and feelings for each other for a while at this point. Maybe we’ve seen it more from Tim’s side lately and that’s why it was surprising that it was Lucy who just blurted it out.
But I think it’s so wonderfully in character for her to just get lost in the moment and say what she’s been feeling for so long now because the word ‘scared’ triggered everything she’s been trying to ignore and work through. Her biggest fear is losing Tim completely. 
“Most important relationship in [her] life.” Yeah, I was not expecting to hear this. But I love it. We all know Lucy doesn’t want to put names to her relationships. She didn’t want to with Nolan (sorry for even mentioning this), not with Emmett and she made it perfectly clear that mr. hums-the-song was her WIP, not her boyfriend. 
But with Tim it’s somehow been a relationship for a while. She even called it that on her last day of training, which I still find hilarious, btw. They’re not together. Tim doesn’t even think she feels the same way as he does. Clearly, he was not expecting to hear this, either. 
She’s literally stunned him into silence. Look at the look on his face. He can’t believe what he’s hearing. He’s never been put first in any relationship. Okay, I firmly believe that he was Isabel’s priority once upon a time, but she too, chose something else over him at the end. Just like everybody else has.
But suddenly he hears Lucy say he is the most important to her. Him. Not anybody else. Him. Tim is the most important person in someone’s life. 
And then we see Lucy as she realizes what she just revealed to him. And she tries to backtrack. She’s not taking it back – she’s simply realizing that maybe she shouldn’t have revealed herself to him and drop this on him. 
But he doesn’t let her take it back. He agrees. Because they would lose each other if it didn’t work out. There’d be no going back to before. It’s either all in and risk it or continue this weird limbo they’ve found themselves in. 
And Lucy takes Tim’s “You’re right” as confirmation that it’s not gonna happen. That it’s not worth it to risk it all. Because she doesn’t want to lose him. There’d be no other person able to fill the hole that losing Tim would create. So they should just keep going as they have. Right? 
And yet. He doesn’t accept her “right?” the way he did in 5x01 in that hotel room. Because this is different. He can feel that this is different. That he seems to have a chance at a relationship with her after all. So he puts his cards on the table. And tells her that he thinks it is worth the risk. 
“Unless it is.”
Three words. Just three words and now it’s Lucy’s turn to be speechless for a moment. Because she had honestly thought that he wasn’t an option, either. Not after he told her to go to UC school and it was “time for [her] to move on.” She took it as rejection, he thought he was doing her a favor by removing himself from the equation that seemed to leave no space for him.
We see the wheels turning in her head as she realizes that he seems to want this as much as she does. She lets out a little breath as the tiniest smile starts to form on her lips as she stares at Tim. 
And he just looks back at her, gauging her reaction. He seems to find what he’s looking for because he leans back a bit, building up the courage to ask what he’s been dying to ask her for so long. Come on, we all know it’s true. His shoulders drop as he lets the weight fall off them and smiles. 
He starts to form words as he leans toward her again, but takes another second before he lets them out. “Do you wanna get dinner sometime?” 
Not ‘go on a date’. No. Because even in this moment, where they’re the only people that matter, he knows she still has a WIP. But he took his chance the moment he realized they were on the same page anyway. And I love it. Because he wastes no time at all to show her what he wants. He took a leap the second he realized she might feel the same way. 
All the previous heartbreak that started during his childhood seems to fade away from him. Right now, this is all that matters. Lucy is what matters. Because he matters to her, more than he ever thought possible. He’s willing to risk it all because all he wants, everything he’s been looking for his entire life, is right there in front of him. 
I will never not tear up at the way his eyes are so glassy with emotion and brimming with hope. Hope that she’ll say yes. Hope that this is finally the start of something he’s wanted for longer than he realized. 
And look at Lucy. She takes a moment to absorb everything that’s just happened. From realizing that she basically blurted out how she feels about him, to having him confirming that it’s reciprocated. That he’s willing to give this a shot because he believes they can make it work. 
He believes in her. In them. And that’s beautiful. Because Lucy doesn’t have many people like that in her life. She grew up with parents who always expected more of her, no matter what she did. We saw that in a few episodes in previous seasons and it’s so heartbreaking because we know Lucy wants to make her parents proud. She wants their approval.
But they never gave it to her. And yet somehow, here’s Tim. Who believes in her. First professionally, then personally and now romantically. Who makes her feel like she is enough. Because she is. For him, she is more than enough. She’s everything. 
They’ve both been exactly what the other has been looking for their entire lives. They’ve endured different kinds of trauma that only the other has managed to slowly heal because they’re two parts of one whole and only truly happy and themselves when they’re together. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true. 
She answers so clearly, so… sure. Like, ‘Yes of course you idiot. Why wouldn’t I want to go out with you? Nothing I’d want more.’ 
And then the relief in his eyes when she says yes. My heart hurts in the best way possible whenever I watch this scene and hear his breathless little “Yeah?”’. Happy Tim is my absolute favorite thing to see on the show. 
The elation of getting confirmation that she wants this just as much as he does. That she’s willing to risk it all with him. He’s been so afraid of getting rejected again, like he did in 5x01 (when, again, your timing was a bitch, Timothy). We saw how he considered talking to her in 5x06 in the parking lot and then the total devastation after the missed opportunity because a certain someone had to interrupt again. 
So, this time, he took his chance the second he saw an opportunity.
But as happy and elated he his right there, he completely deflates after Lucy says “No” right after. Because that’s the answer he expected. The one he feared. The (apparent) rejection after putting his heart on the line.  
He turns away from Lucy, trying to put the wall back up. His whole demeanor just changed. Watch his hands – he puts them up as if physically trying to distance himself again. But he accepts her ‘no’: “Okay”. Because her happiness will always matter more than his own.
But Lucy tries to make clear that’s not what she meant. “No, no, it’s just… not yet. I owe it to [jackass] to end things the right way with him”. (No you don’t Lucy. He’s an idiot.)
Again, Tim accepts her decision, turning away again. He looks like he’s ready to stand up to leave. But Lucy stops him. We can’t see it, but I’m guessing Lucy touches his leg to get his attention again. And she does; he turns back toward her again, listening to what she has to say.
“Ask me again. Later. After.” 
There’s no question here as to what she wants. She’s not there yet, because she still as a WIP. But as soon as he’s gone, she wants this. She wants Tim. She’s ready to commit to the only guy she’s ever fallen for. 
And we’re back to happy smiley Tim. “Deal”. He’ll wait as long as she needs. Because now he knows there’s something to wait for. He’s not alone in this. She’s right there with him and she wants it as much as he does. 
And I cannot get over how they look at each other then. There’s nothing between them anymore but happiness and the knowledge that they want the same thing: to be together. 
And for the first time we really see shy, bashful, in love Tim Bradford. Look at the way he looks away from Lucy. He looks like a lovesick puppy. And my heart is bursting with happiness again.   
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I totally understand the (initial) confusion about this scene. Because yes, at first it did seem as if it came out of nowhere. And that there might be a scene or dialogue missing. But after some time to reflect on it, I’ve come to realize how much I love the way they handled it. Because it didn’t come out of nowhere. 
Look, this relationship has always been super layered, long before they took the leap here. 
But, as pointed out above, the way Lucy just blurts it out is beautiful to me. 
Because she got comfortable with Tim in this moment. After months of being at odds with one another, she felt safe enough to finally say it.
Tim spent the whole shift helping her navigate what was bothering her - Assford and his insistence to annoy her with more house offers even though she was clearly uncomfortable while dealing with a tough case - and why it was bothering her – he’s not Tim.
It wasn’t supposed to be about Tim, but he didn’t even realize that the whole problem was him in the first place. He’s the reason why she can’t and won’t move forward with jackass. Because she can’t do that while not letting Tim go. 
And that’s the whole point. After Tim told her it was time for her to move on in 5x02, she tried to make it work with dumbass. But in all that time, she’s never truly let Tim go. Because he’s the one she wants at her side, whether she’s always realized it or not. 
She could stay with clueless as long as she tried to tell herself that Tim didn’t matter to her like that. But that firmly established wall kept crumbling ever since Tim drew it up. Every episode following 5x02 crumbles that wall further and further - until it’s finally gone in this beautiful scene outside their place of work. 
Until Lucy finally realizes that no relationship will work as long as it’s not with Tim, she won’t give it her all. Yes, she tries to tell herself it’s not worth to take the risk, but as soon as Tim reveals his hand, she’s on board. 
Because they both want the same thing. To finally be together, in every possible way and not just as quasi-partners on the job. Finally, they’re on the same page. 
And what makes this even more special: it’s Tim being ready before Lucy is. It’s him waiting for her. 
I never would’ve even imagined for it to happen this way around. Given everything we knew pre-season 5, Lucy seemed like the more likely option to want to talk about things. She always wants to talk things out. 
But maybe I shouldn’t have been so surprised after 5x01. After all, Tim was the one who wanted to talk about them in that hotel room in Vegas. And yes, again, the timing was awful, seriously Timothy, but he couldn’t ignore the feelings stirring within him. 
And the fact that Tim is even willing to risk it all with someone who’s become so extremely important to him is beautiful and shows how much he’s grown and found himself again since the Pilot. He’s been broken so many times before that nobody would blame him to just never try this again. Even Lucy inadvertently broke his heart in that Vegas hotel room.  
But he wants to. With Lucy, he wants to, despite the previous heartbreak. Because she’s Lucy. Because she is one of the very few people who hasn’t just walked away. And she’s just offered him an in. 
Yes, they’ve been distant with one another for months before this, but even then - she didn’t leave. She wanted to be there when he was injured and then raced back to the hospital after hearing he had emergency surgery to make sure he was ok. Even through their awkwardness, she stayed. She made an effort. She cared. 
She’s seen every side of him and yet, she stayed. 
It’s interesting, actually, that Lucy might have been one of the few people that Tim (briefly) walked away from. Because Tim holds on to the people he loves as tightly as he can but will also put their happiness above his own no matter how much it might hurt him. 
He walked away from Isabel because he felt it was what was best for her, not for him and only once he knew she was getting better. We don’t know what happened with Rachel and who broke up with who, but she was the one to leave for another state. Lifeguard Bitch dumped him while he was in the hospital, right after he woke up from emergency surgery because he wouldn’t do what she wanted. 
Lucy has never walked away from Tim. But there he was, willing to let her go because he felt that that was best for her. He put her (seemingly) best interest above his own. Because he couldn’t, or wouldn’t see that she didn’t regret what happened between them, that she values him for who he is. That he means more to her than she, or he, could’ve ever imagined. Because somewhere deep down, he still doesn’t believe he’s worthy of love. (I wish I could give pre-canon-Chenford Tim a hug so badly.)
For two people who know how to communicate with one another, they really did a number on themselves in eps 5x01 and 5x02. Neither one of them actually listens to the other. It’s not communicating. They don’t ask for clarification; they just assume to know what the other means. 
Tim walked away in 5x02 before either one of them let their masks slip and we could see that they were both heartbroken, thinking the other regretted whatever it is that happened between them. 
These two have evolved from TO and Rookie, who, for all intends and purposes, should never care about each other as anything more than colleagues, to friends during Lucy’s rookie year, to best friends who bicker and annoy each other like a married couple. 
And somewhere along the way, they fell for each other without noticing, without meaning to. And I think neither one of them quite knew what do to once they had that moment of realization. 
We saw them struggle with it up until the very end of 5x08 when it all came out. When they just couldn’t hold it in any longer. Because they’re the light in each other’s life and just want to be together. 
And now they get to know what it’s like to actually be together the way they’ve wanted to for a while. From now on, they get to live life together. And I definitely didn’t tear up thinking about this last part. 
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I understand everyone’s opinion about this episode, good or bad. 
I simply think that, yes, it was a slow burn, but you can’t drag it out too long before it eventually burns out. Why create more drama when there is no real reason to? If they had written more drama for Chenford, it would’ve been created to keep more roadblocks in their way. No one would’ve wanted Lucy to move forward in her relationship with mr. boring. But that was the (almost) last thing keeping them apart. 
What could they have done to keep them apart for longer? The only thing I would’ve been okay with would’ve been a time in which they just hang out as friends every chance they get before taking the plunge. Drama? I don’t want that. 
But that might’ve also only lasted a few episodes before everything bubbled to the surface. Even with a slow burn, the flame’s gotta ignite at some point. 
Okay, Tim being her superior would’ve actually been a very real obstacle that many of us thought would keep them apart for longer. Especially since he’s such a stickler for rules. But I think I get why they moved them forward the way they did. Both Tim and Lucy got caught up in the moment – nothing but the two of them mattered. No rules, no significant others, no power imbalance at work could’ve kept them from going after what they wanted.  
The only thing that mattered was finally being able to be together after realizing they both wanted it.  
I personally really appreciate that they kept this real. Yes, the writers chose to have 5x08 be the ep to move things forward. But story-wise, it’s very true to real life. Tim and Lucy didn’t have much of a choice but to ride together again after Grey told them to. Not without revealing what exactly the reason for their discomfort was. 
Real life is when things happen when you least expect them. When you have to deal with things sooner than expected. When you blurt things out without thinking. When you put your heart on the line without knowing how the other feels. 
I haven’t been in this fandom long and have only watched The Rookie and shipped Chenford since mid-2022. But even I was becoming inpatient for them to be together after only 6 months. 
We’re all allowed to have our opinions. We can all have mature conversations about this and discuss it with respect. But the minute you completely disregard the fact that every person working on that show is a human being and call them names, and even tag them in those posts, you’ve gone too far.  
They don’t owe us anything. They don’t have to move the story forward the way we want. Yes, fans keep shows going to a certain degree, but it’s the writers’ decision what to do. Or maybe it’s the network’s decision and they have to run with it and make it work.
Basically all I saw all summer long was comments about needing Chenford to be together asap. Then it happens, and yet, this is when the negativity (and disrespect) in the fandom started. 
I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: we were never all gonna get it the way we envisioned it. And maybe we all should’ve kept that in mind going into season 5 (I’m including myself in this, yes). But it’s okay to be disappointed. 
Did I expect it to happen the way it did? Nope. Was I a little thrown at first? Yup. But I’ve fallen in love with it since then. It’s so them. 
Let them learn together. Let them grow together. Let them become even better together. 
There is so much left to explore. Them getting together opened up a whole new world of potential storylines. And I for one cannot wait to see what is next in their journey. 
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Additional note 1:  I will forever be mad at The Rookie for making the-one-who-shall-not-be-named sound like the nicest guy when all I can see is red flag after red flag. They introduced him as a pesky ADA, who I immediately disliked, who was suddenly a real ‘nice guy’ the next time we saw him. It’s like they completely changed course and decided to use him in any way possible to keep Tim and Lucy apart. And make me uncomfortable in the process. 
I know there might be some fans out there who really like him, but I just always see the guy humming the song Lucy sang to keep herself calm when she was dying. Dude, that’s the woman you’re dating. How does that song get stuck in your head and NOT trigger you? 
Even this episode alone is reason enough for me to dislike him. I could go on for another 5 pages, but I’ll stop here and just say: I’m glad Lucy dumped him in maybe the least nicest way possible for someone as empathetic as her. 
Additional note 2:  I’ve mostly been very positive about Chenford’s development, but even I can admit that some things haven’t sat right with me all the time (and I mean pre-canon and after), mostly because I expected things to happen differently at times. But that doesn’t mean the way they’re handling it is bad or wrong. We can’t expect for them to integrate callbacks to all the significant moments from earlier seasons. 
I’ve simply chosen to be positive whenever I post something because I accept and appreciate what they’ve given us, but I understand and respect if some fans don’t. As long as we don’t expect everyone to see everything the way we do, and we don’t get all childish and mad when we don’t all agree (seriously, why do we always have to get mad at each other when we disagree on things?!), I’m happy to be here. Because Chenford and The Rookie are my safe space, my escape from reality. And sometimes I just need to get lost I these characters for a while to get back on track in real life. 
Thank you to @escapismqueen for listening to my constant ramblings whilst writing this and being my nr one supporter while I was struggling to get this done! I think I need to credit her for some of this because we think so much alike that she easily could’ve written parts of this herself. 
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funnyposts4friends · 4 months
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imagine being so miserable to the point have to go to the lengths of insulting people for making content that involves women and trying to justify it as being ‘anti man’ when it so clearly isnt.
its not inherently creepy to like women. it is not inherently predatory to like women. people are not inherently invading spaces by liking women or acknowledging their existence. media including women is not inherently lesser it is not inherently taboo it is not something that needs to be exonerated for the crime of having women in it.
telling people not to make content about women is misogynistic, inherently. it is not feminist. ask yourself why you think people should jump through hoops to prove their content about women is valid when people get to make art and stories about men all the time.
why do men get to be the default but you need to justify art and media having women? why are you making people justify including women in their art? because that’s what youre doing and all youre getting out of this faux righteous reactionary tirade is making sure there’s less for women. rot.
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entriprises · 6 days
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buck & names
for the majority of buck’s life he’s been evan. the last 7-8 years of his life have fundamentally changed him, they define so much of who he considers himself to be and they mark a period of constant growth and understanding of himself. he hasn’t been buck for his whole life, although it certainly feels like it some days because of all that he’s gone through. 
he grew up evan. should he ever return to hershey, georgia, virginia, arizona, florida, oregon, and the other million other places he’d at one point or another stayed in then they’d only know as much to call him evan. it’s how he introduced himself back then, even when his last name came up as a nickname one time or another through sports or any other culture he’d inserted himself into.
buck comes with his career, with firefighting. it’s not even meaningful when it comes to him, it’s just a way to separate him from the other evans in the academy. it’s not new, it’s not strange, and he slides into it quite easily. he’s been called by his last name before, and naturally it just shortens to buck. firefighting as a whole is something new, and a place where he truly starts to feel comfortable, even though he’s not taking it nearly as seriously. he associates the comfort with firefighting, and in that everyone calls him buck so when he gets to the 118, he corrects bobby. he tells him right there that everyone calls him buck. it’s not that he’s attached per se, it’s not quite his whole identity, he just likes who he is as firefighter buck.
the identity bit comes over time, and somewhere along the way firefighting is more than just something he’s doing, it’s very much his life. he cannot deal with a reality where he isn’t firefighter buck, and he refuses to accept one. he pushes through all of his recoveries because of it, and with that also comes the attachment to being buck, not evan. 
when it comes up again, with his parents, they go for the obvious answer when addressing him: they call him evan, because why wouldn’t they? it’s part of the distance between him and his parents for them to call him evan, something not even his sister calls him anymore. when he tells her that he won’t have anything without firefighting, she assures him, “you will still be buck.” and when his parents call him evan he specifically says “buck, that’s what people who know me, that’s what they call me.” because fundamentally who he has become in his time as a firefighter, the people in his life, his found family are all things that are entangled with this identity as buck.
evan isn’t who he is anymore, and buck, being someone who has always seen himself in extremes and his own rigid frameworks (buck 2.0, buck 3.0), casts evan right into the past. still, it doesn’t leave him completely. his parents still slip up, he responds to evan, it’s still something that’s around, it’s just not how he carries himself. he’s buck, the firefighter, the guy who has grown and survived so much that sometimes it’s a little easy to get caught up in the jokes of being untouchable. 
and then eddie goes and calls him evan once, and it’s like something else entirely. it happens just once, but it reaches through to buck in a way more than buck ever will because there’s this extreme idea of who buck is right? buck’s the strong guy, the survivor, the big tough firefighter. evan? evan’s the lost guy, the hurt kid, the side of himself he left behind, the one who didn’t ever feel like he mattered. evan’s the one who won’t brush aside what eddie’s trying to get through to him. 
but then it really begins with tommy, and most importantly, buck doesn’t correct him. there’s no moment where he says to him at all that he prefers buck— and there’s been endless opportunities to do so. he welcomes it, turns his head at every call, and feels warmer from it. there’s someone who not only offers him a chance to explore a new side of himself, heal, feel relief, but also sees him as evan, and wants to know him as such (outside of the firehouse, because ultimately while it’s what introduced them and what gives them a lot to bond over it’s not what their relationship circles around/centers on/etc). evan is a reconciliation, at least the start of one. it’s a coming together of two extremes that buck has built for himself and hasn’t really tried to do before. more than just figuring out his bisexuality, realizing that piece about himself, buck gets to explore now with the whole of who he is. 
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madtomedgar · 2 years
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i see a good amount of people pointing out that jgy caring for or loving someone wont stop him from doing whatever he feels is necessary to survive, even if its at their expense, and i don’t disagree, i just don’t think it means he’s callous, heartless, calculating, etc. i think it shows that he sees his own pain as a luxury. he will absolutely cut his own arm off to get out of a trap. it doesn’t mean he doesn’t value his arm, or that severing it doesn’t hurt, or that adjusting to life without it will be easy and uncomplicated. unfortunately he always feels he is caught in a trap.
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circuscursed · 5 months
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"Oh... Ragatha... ahaha, fancy seeing you here..."
Pomni fumbles on her words as she greets the rag doll - the human, really, though it's sometimes hard to remember - before her. What is she supposed to say? She's been dreading talking to her one-on-one like this, though to be fair, there isn't much that she hasn't been dreading, lately.
It feels like she's constantly on the verge of snapping, her chest feeling tight and a phantom nausea overtaking her senses - which for the record, doesn't even make sense, since she isn't in a human body anymore! She doesn't know if she wants to cry or scream or what, but every moment is a struggle not to fall apart - there will be a way out, she tells herself, even though she knows she's lying, because if she gives up, then...
...Well. Back to the matter at hand...!!
"You know, I just wanted to say, ah..." she can't seem to get out the words. She has to apologize, she knows that, and she does feel guilty, it's just... well, no-one can blame Pomni for trying to get out of here, right? That exit door might've been her only chance, and, and...!
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"I'm... really sorry, about before. You know, when I, uh. Left you. Again." Great, it sounds even worse when she says it aloud. "I didn't mean to... I mean, I'm just- really glad you're okay!"
@ragsdolly ( starter! )
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eikonbound · 5 months
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continued from here:
The weeks that Byron spent away from Rosalith were long and filled to the brim with a pull to return to Ana. It was not as it should be, he knew. This match was never made for him -- Elwin was not only the eldest brother but also the one most fit to lead the duchy. It wasn't a burden that Byron wanted to bear. But Anabella had always been promised to him. Byron never had a chance to envision a real future with her, it simply couldn't exist.
Leaving the castle once he came of age was a wise decision for Byron. He was granted an escape hatch from Rosalith when he came of age, away from the constant spectacle that was court life. He'd been able to become his own man, one educated in commerce with an identity completely separate from his brother. But it meant leaving Anabella there alone -- a lifelong captive of the castle.
He so badly wanted to steal her away from it all, protect her from the hurts she'd already sustained and would surely sustain in the future. From the day they met he wanted to transport her back to her home, where her familiar creature comforts and sisters could comfort her. Even if it meant he would have to give up his precious connection to Ana he would make it so in an instant to see hope and happiness renewed in her.
Byron returned to Rosalith as often as he could, making the most of his time with Anabella and his nephews. There were times when his arrival would overlap with Elwin's presence, though they were infrequent since his duties often took him away from Rosaria. As wretched as it felt to admit, his absence was a small mercy; it meant he needn't dwell in the deep envy he felt toward his brother. Byron's love for Elwin, though ever-present and permanent, had become twisted by his own devotion to Ana. He would never understand his brother's apathy and disinterest in building a life with her. He had it all, and he hardly cared.
On this visit to Rosalith he didn't find Anabella in the spots she typically frequented and he quickly realized she must have shut herself away in her room. With a gentle knock at her door, Byron waited a beat before opening it. At once he could see how worn down and miserable she was. As always -- but perhaps most when she was hurting -- Bryon felt a pull toward Anabella and approached her. "Ana," he sighed, reaching for her hands to hold carefully in his own. Affectionate gestures were not uncommon for them -- their years of companionship opened the door to embracing one another in joy or woe, depending on the whim of the universe that particular day. Given that it was the latter this time, he wanted to envelop her in as much comfort as he could.
Gesturing for the two of them to sit, his hands remained covering hers, reluctant to break contact. Byron frequently got the sense that perhaps his feelings for Ana weren't as unrequited as he'd once thought, but then again, it could be wishful thinking making a fool of him. It would be so unwise to ever dare wander beyond the borders of their friendship. But oftentimes it took every last shred of restraint Byron possessed to mind his words. It hurt to hope, but it hurt even more to resign himself to a world where it wasn't even possible.
Ana looked stricken for a moment, her expression difficult for Byron to read. It was then that she leaned forward and kissed him, the gesture more urgent and passionate than he had ever let himself imagine. Without a moment of hesitation he returned with equal intensity, his hand rising to cup her cheek. When Bryon pulled away he rested his forehead against Ana's, unable to stop his breaths from coming out shaky. "I've wanted to... forever," he whispered, coherent and complete sentences lost on him. "But I never dared to try, I couldn't bear losing you if I was wrong."
Ana's kiss was unexpected and very welcome, but mixed with such a palpable sadness that needed to be addressed. Pulling back a little, Byron looked at her teary eyes and then down to her lips, still in shock that he'd been able to kiss them. Returning his gaze to hers, he held her hands once more before speaking. "Tell me what you're thinking. What you're feeling," he implored, hoping that she would speak on what brought her to tears.
@creatrix-mea
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howthesleeplesswander · 10 months
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surprise starter for @greedbent because Baizhu saw my other muses bothering his "secret" crush and refused to be left out 😤
"I have a prediction. Would you like to hear it?" Changsheng's voice floated into the front room of the pharmacy from somewhere up in the rafters. She hadn't shown herself once since he'd begun work that morning; Baizhu had assumed she'd been with Qiqi or Gui.
"Well, don't leave me in suspense," the doctor replied airily. Faced with a break in patients for the afternoon, Baizhu had begun filling prescriptions. Even while conversing, practiced hands moved of their own accord: one adding leaves and petals from the trays of mint and qingxin beside him to a large medicinal cauldron, while the other worked the milky substance within beneath a starsilver pestle.
Naturally though, Changsheng did exactly that. He'd nearly forgotten she'd said anything by the time she divulged her 'prediction.' "Sssomething tellsss me that today isss about to get interesssting."
Baizhu hummed, attention fixed on his work. "Oh? What makes you say that?"
Her answering snicker came from directly above him. He paused as Changsheng dropped onto his shoulders so he wouldn't spill anything. "You'll sssee sssoon enough," was all she said as she adjusted her coils, and the doctor shook his head fondly. With her affinity for the vague and riddled, sometimes Baizhu wondered if his companion wasn't some long-lost adeptus in disguise.
Minutes passed with only the scrape of the pestle along the cauldron's base to fill the silence. Then footsteps sounded on the stairs leading up to the pharmacy—but there was something...unique about them. Not just a rhythmic tap-tap of shoes on pavement, but with an additional tone layered in unison. Metal on stone. Tap-tapclink.
That could only mean...
Ah. Well, in all fairness, Changsheng was rarely wrong about these things.
Baizhu didn't look up until the steps arrived in the entryway. To anyone else, the sight of a man clad in all black, gazing into their shop with such intent, sharp eyes may be cause for alarm. But Baizhu simply smiled, hands pausing to give his newfound visitor his undivided attention.
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"Why, Kaz, what a pleasant surprise. How nice to see you." Likely not a sentiment heard often, but it was entirely sincere. He pointedly ignored Changsheng's muttered 'I told you' that tickled his ear. "Is there something I can do for you? Oh—unless you're here for your 'prescription'?"
The code word was second-nature despite there being no one else in the pharmacy to overhear. With a grin so pleasant adorning his features, the doctor certainly appeared to be speaking of a legitimately prescribed medication, rather than the special-ordered poison that currently sat fermenting on his kitchen counter. "It's nearly finished, but I'm afraid it needs another hour or so to infuse for maximum...potency." There was a dark edge to the chuckle that rolled in his chest. "We must be sure it's strong enough to take care of the problem, mustn't we?"
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griefbuilt · 1 year
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the  shitty  thing  was  that  lucien  was  right  -----  usually  blood  loss  was  a  decent  way  to  go.  sure,  it  wasn’t  as  quick  as  a  snapped  neck,  but  the  adrenaline  couldn’t  pump  as  hard  as  it  did  when  you  were  being  asphyxiated.  it  didn’t  make  you  fight,  body  kicking  into  some  wretched  survival  mode,  bouts  of  strength  you  didn’t  have  making  you  act  out  in  desperation.  no,  blood  loss  was  peaceful,  in  some  ways.  the  world  just  got  quieter.  hazy.  your  head  got  dizzy.  your  breathing  got  shallow.  your  heart  rate  increased.  THUD THUD THUD  of  your  heart  beat  was  your  constant  companion  ------  sometimes  the  only  one.  no  one  thought  to  tell  the  poor  little  fucker  to  give  up.  but  the  cold  ?  that  sucked.  the  pain  from  the  muscles  asphyxiating  ?  that  sucked  too.  still,  there  were  worse  ways  to  die.  you  just  had  to let  yourself  sink  into  the  feeling.  give  in. 
 really,  what  else  was  he  going  to  do  ?  slumped  over  in  the  chair,  blood  dripped  from  his  face  onto  the  carpet.  from  his  arms  onto  the  carpet.  from  his  legs  onto  the  carpet.  damn,  he  was  a  crown  of  thorns  away  from  being  jesus  christ  himself,  wasn’t  he  ?  klaus  would’ve  had  a  harder  time  cleaning  that  one  up,  though..... fuck.  klaus.  caroline.  tyler,  rebekah.  they  were  going  to  be  pissed  about  this,  weren’t  they  ?  and  after  bonnie  had  put  all  that  hard  work  in  last  time.  but  fuck  being  angry,  he  needed  them  to  be  safe.  to  figure  this  shit  out.  the  hunter’s  curse  would  give  them  a  little  more  time,  throw  luke  off  his  game  (  god,  he  hoped  the  man  couldn’t  turn  a  corner  without  seeing  him  ),  but  it  wasn’t  a  done  deal.....and  that  was  going  to  what  he  was  most  upset  about.  if  he  was  going  to  die,  he  had  wanted  things  to  be  wrapped  up  all  pretty  first.  it  never  happened  like  that,  though.  
klaus  was  too  fucking  old  and  too  goddamn  stubborn  to  go  out  like  this.  same  with  rebekah  and  kol  and  elijah.....they’d  fix  it.  make  luke  pay  like  hell  all  the  meanwhile  for  it,  too.  and  tyler  ?  he’d  be  alright.  perks  of  this  throuple  thing  was  that  there  was  always  someone  else  there,  he  supposed.  and  it  saved  rebekah  from  all  those  stupid  goddamn  talks  about  his  feelings  and  addiction  and  blah  blah  blah.....  caroline  he  worried  about,  but  she  had  klaus  and  stefan.  this  might  be  the  thing  that  made  her  fight  all  the  harder  for  them.  elena  had  damon  back.  sure  it  would  hurt,  but  they  had  voth  learned  from  last  time.  and  bonnie....bonnie  should’ve  learned  by  now  that  he  was  a  better  ghost  than  person.  everyone  was  good.  everyone  had  someone.  no  loose  ends.  
they’d  be  all  right  though.  they’d  survive  this.  they’d  move  on.  things  would  be  fine.  
he  let  his  eyes  fall  shut.  
he  was  sick  of  shivering.  tired  of  hurting.  
just  sink  a  little  deeper.  
@sanguishqsstarters​
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putaaas · 2 months
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continued from here ♡
@eroslike
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before things come together they have to fall apart. most situations in her life have a tendency to work out that way. just when the young mother is beginning to reach that point of pure exhaustion, stars align so she can see him again. anali doesn't hesitate to take the opportunity and call ethan to relieve some of that tension that might or might not be trying her sanity. just when she's about to snap that she's too goddamn tired for his shit she finds another irresistible reason to stay. the attitude is staying too, until it's temporarily fucked out of her. typically, she disliked it when people called her that. not because it's untrue, but because most say it with contempt. this time, the way he said it drove her crazy because he said it in a tone heavy with lust in every syllable. whatever snarky remark was on the tip of her tongue to bite back at him with dies when the tip of his cock enters her for the first time in far too long. the grip she has around him is a tight fit like the hold he had on her, a thick forearm unyielding against a delicate throat. his voice is hot against her ear, stern and clear enough to cut through the uneven whimpers and moans as he finally bottomed out inside her. a warm hand splayed over the lower part of her torso; anali wondered if he could feel his length pressing against his own fingers as he stretched her out on his cock. the salacious thought lingers in her mind for only a second before his hips settled into a ruthless, steady rythm. anali was already crying out each time he ruts into her. but when his hand travled down to toy with her glistening slit, then back up to her buxom breasts her cries turn into choked screams. the striking brunette spasmed around him as he buried himself so deep her eyes fluttered upwards. her brain was working hard to form the conntection necessary for her mouth to string words together as an answer. "m—mmhn, 'feels like a lot. this feels like exactly what i— a-aahh, needed!"
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