#I do love me some subtext. I will not lie.

[martianbugsbunny]

couldn't decide which one I liked more so I just did both

insp.

[trans-leek-cookie]

Hm I'm not putting this in yhe main tags bc. Yeah but I'm blocking ppl who call the step mother hot

[motimatcha]

the Forbidden fruit

NSFW: headcanons about your sex life. hazbin hotel Adam x fem!reader That feeling when my drafts are almost halfway through the smut with Adam that I wanted to write, but at the last minute I stopped liking that text, so I switched to something else. Everything is (not) good. I wrote this text while listening to Landon Tewers - She Thinks of Me. the meaning of the song is not at all important and has nothing to do with the lyrics, I just liked the melody.

Adam has beautiful hands. Aesthetic. When he takes off his clothes and folds his arms across his chest, rests them on a surface, or carries heavy objects, his veins appear.

His fingers are thin and well-groomed, long, like those of a pianist, which Adam never was.

Just imagine the contrast it has on you during sex. His rough, sometimes wild, character and gentle movements of his hands that slide over your entire body while he whispers all sorts of dirty things in your ear. Imagine those hands touching your hips, squeezing your skin gently but noticeably to make you feel excited and excited, and then with a knee-baring grin, he leaves you unsatisfied.

Adam can and loves to tease. His hands pass dangerously close to your sensitive places, and his words are full of subtext and hints, which are sometimes not covered at all. And because many are accustomed to the character of Adam, who speaks complete nonsense, no one pays attention to the fact that Adam literally said that he would fuck you against that wall before entering heaven.

Adam sure has a sexy morning voice. He can lie on his back, finally finding a comfortable position without his wings getting in the way, one of his arms wedged under your body and resting on your side. He brushes the hair that is falling into his face back before turning his head in your direction. A smirk graces Adam’s face as he rolls onto his side and pulls you closer to him, allowing your two hot bodies to grind against each other. Adam wakes you up with a kiss behind your ear, slowly lowers himself to your neck and whispers some nonsense to you, but you don’t wake up or pretend to be asleep, he takes it as a challenge and the hand from your hip slowly slides down, straight into yours underpants.

Adam likes the cowgirl position when he's too tired but still wants you. This gives you both an imaginary sense of control: you control the speed of the process, Adam controls the movement of your hips.

He likes to look at your hips and butt, whether in tight pants/high-waisted shorts or skirts/dresses that contour your figure. Adam basically likes to look at you in tight clothes, style doesn't matter as long as you like it. Besides that, he likes to see his dick penetrate your body slowly or quickly (well, I mean, he likes to watch your pussy swallow his dick, let's be honest). He loves watching your breasts bounce rhythmically as you move. He loves the feeling of your fingers on his chest as you lean against him, finding a comfortable position.

If you don't mind having Adam's dick in you without having sex, then please allow him. He is overwhelmed by a feeling of unity that has not visited him since the time of Lilith and Eve.

Not against quick sex (or blowjob).

Speaking of fetishes, Adam loves creampies and he doesn’t hide the fact that he’s flattered by the idea of ​​impregnating you. And the latter is not so much a fetish as his sacred duty, because he seemed to be created for this? First man, first man and all that. However, if you can't get pregnant (or it's your mutual desire not to have children due to your lifestyle), he still loves creampies.

Adam loves to leave his marks on you: hickeys and bites, especially on your neck, arms, collarbones, chest, hips... In general, wherever he can reach with his mouth and lips. Adam likes to do this not only because he finds it sexy, but because of his insecurity. He had two wives who went to a dwarf duck! Somewhere in the subcortex of consciousness, Adam wants every living and dead soul to see that you are already busy with him and minding your own business.

Adam will probably let you do anything (within reason and as long as he feels like he's in a dominant position) if you praise him during sex or tell him you wouldn't choose anyone else over him. This will upset him.

I'm not sure exactly what word is supposed to mean what I'm about to say next (at least I've seen it called "happy way", but I can't be sure), but Adam has a faint trail of hair from his belly button to the groin. And although he takes care of himself (if you ask, he doesn’t care until it starts to get in the way), but he will never remove this particular hair.

His cock is worth forgetting about toys. So are his fingers.

Adam doesn't have a favorite place to have sex, but he prefers you to be alone. Teasing in public is a whole different story!

If you want to quickly excite Adam, then touch his wings. But this should not be a light touch to the tips of his feathers, but a targeted stroking of the growth area of ​​​​the wings and between the shoulder blades.

[amourdivine]

𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 🤍 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒.𝐏. 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 & 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔?

Hello, lovelies! This was a suggested reading from a dear anonymous.  It had a more romantic subtext, but I hope you take out what resonates & leave what doesn’t! If you have any more suggestions, so let me know! Feedback is always welcome. If you liked this reading, please consider booking a paid reading or tipping me at @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.com! xo. ♡

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none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise

how to choose your pile.  take deep breaths for a few minutes & look at each and every one of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later.

♡ ♡ ♡     pick a card masterlist & information

disclaimer. this is a general reading for entertainment purposes. tarot is a divination tool & is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

PILE ONE 💜

what do they think about you? ten of swords • eight of pentacles • six of cups.

I just heard Coldplay’s “The Scientist”, specifically the bit in which he sings “take me back to the start”. I wonder if you two had a fight, some sort of falling out or heavy disagreement. They think they’ve lost you - this is weighing heavy on their mind. They wish they could go back to when things were simpler, when things weren’t so difficult and anxiety-inducing. I think they feel a lot of shame and blame as well (I heard “blame game”) and I’m not going to lie, pile one, this person may be overthinking this connection, especially the way they see it. It feels heavy, like my chest and my throat are holding so much energy but nothing comes out. They’re not thinking clearly, despite thinking so much, it’s really difficult for them to “think” a way out of this situation you’re in. However, they do wish to work towards a peaceful resolution with you. They want to find a way to make things feel lighthearted and happy for the two of you again. This person could also be listening to a lot of heavy/sad songs, because so many of them are coming through to me. They’re experiencing a lot of self-hatred and very difficult emotions are going through them. They’re mourning some kind of happy ending, but they’re still willing to salvage the relationship if that's something you also desire.

how do they feel towards you? the empress • ace of swords • page of pentacles.

Gosh, there’s so much love here. They not only miss you, but they want to talk to you… to ask you how to work this out. They just want it to work it out between you two, pile one. Even if it’s difficult, like I mentioned in the previous section, they only want you. They don’t see anyone else for them. They don’t want to let you go, to lose you. It’s why their mind is so foggy and so clouded with poor judgment, they feel a lot of despair over the thought of losing the love you two have and shared. If your connection ended, they’re still not over it - they’re refusing to move on, simply because in their heart, they’ve decided it’s you. And I don’t think they’ve fully voiced it out just how much they want you, but they intend to do so. No matter how painful this situation has become, they hold some sort of hope that you’ll want to work things out with them too. They love you in a pure, devoted way and know how unique, how beautiful this connection is.

channeled messages: “i hate myself for what i did to you”, “i can’t forget you”, “you’re beautiful”, runaway, empty roads, highways, road trips, memories, polaroid pictures, “i wish things were easier”, “you betrayed me”, burning bridges, “do you still love me?”, deja vu.

channeled song: ghostin’ by Ariana Grande.

PILE TWO 🩷

what do they think about you? the magician • the lovers • the world

I couldn’t name a more beautiful spread. They put you on a pedestal, sort of - this person sees all that you are and they’re amazed. They admire you, they love you and they can’t see anyone else but you. This person’s got heart eyes when they look at you, maybe their eyes sparkle - pay attention next time you speak to them in person. Although they may wonder if they’re good enough for you, this person truly, deeply is inspired by you. It’s possible this is a friend of yours who’s crushing on you and vice-versa, but neither one of you is willing to admit it yet. This is a dreamy vibe, even, I feel like I’m immersed in Piscean energy. Maybe one of you is Neptune dominant or has Pisces in 1st. It’s the feeling of a high school crush, the intense, beautiful and almost soul-crushing one, but the kind of connection that has a lasting impact. Even if you haven’t known this person for a long time, they are eager to know more about you, all the little things that you do and say are stuck in the back of their mind. They don’t take it for granted. You’re extremely important to them, regardless of the nature of this relationship, you’re someone they want around.

how do they feel towards you? three of cups • five of wands • nine of swords.

They’re anxious, because they’ve got some heavy competition. Even if they see all these positive qualities in you, this person is afraid they’ll ruin the friendship by risking it. So many people are interested in you, that they’re afraid of rejection, afraid of all the people vying for your attention and sometimes, they just wish they could get rid of these feelings already. It’s possible there’s a 3rd party situation going on - either you or them could be in a committed relationship and there’s a lot of guilt and anxiety involved. You’re this person’s wish come true, but they don’t know what to do. They’re stuck in their head about it, fantasizing about coming towards you, talking to you and not feeling so insecure or jealous when they see you with someone else. I got the vivid imagery of someone seeing their crush talking to someone else at a party and being almost soul crushed by the fact that they’re so afraid of approaching the other. It’s giving me fanfiction vibes (in the best way possible, I promise). I’m almost sorry for this person because they’re so blindsided by their pessimism that they can’t fully see a way into being with you, no matter how much they want to. They know they need to make a move before they lose you for good, though.

channeled messages: “i’m so sick of love songs”, “i just want to talk to you”, instagram, DM’s, subtle flirting, “are you alone tonight?”, crush, “i feel invisible”, insecurity, jealousy, bonfire party, college life, “give me back my jacket”, inside jokes.

channeled song: Are You Bored Yet? by Wallows ft. Clairo.

PILE THREE 💖

what do they think about you? eight of cups • six of cups • the devil.

“Gone for good”, I just heard that. My playlist started playing sad breakup songs too, it’s honestly a little heartbreaking and quite bittersweet. This person thinks, well, they know you’ve left them behind and you seem done with them. You left them and they’re triggered. They’ve got so much going on in their head, always filled with “what ifs”. Your connection has turned sour and they think you wanted to pursue something better for yourself, something that didn’t trigger the both of you so much. I feel like this connection may have turned toxic, so they know you needed to leave, but nonetheless, they’re grieving, they’re sour and bitter. I don’t know if this person was heavily immature towards you or even disrespectful, but you left them on a chokehold because they didn’t expect you to simply walk away so easily. I don’t think it’s been easy for either one of you. I’m more so feeling a situationship or a friendship kind of vibe here, not a full, official commitment. Everything they see in you is almost a projection of their worst fears. All your worst traits mirror back to them, calling them to do some soul deep healing. I saw the Death card in the back of my mind, so I think this person knows it’s time to move on, to let you go, but they’re still obsessing over this ending you’ve had and it’s possible they lurk on your social media. It’s not an evil or malicious energy, but they’re not in a good headspace to talk or see you right now.

how do they feel towards you? two of swords • knight of cups • ten of wands.

Sometimes they love you, they miss you. Sometimes they just hate everything that came to be about the two of you. They’re tired, overburdened by their feelings, so sick of feeling so much and nothing at the same time. This person can’t really pinpoint exactly what they feel for you, but I got nauseous and almost sick to my stomach? I think they just wish they could erase this pain forever, but sometimes, they wish they could get some closure from you as well. It’s possible they wish they could give you some closure as well. All these messy feelings are taking their time in this person’s heart and body, but I think this connection, as triggering as it may have been, has brought up a lot of things back into the surface. Regardless of how they feel about you, it all ties back to their wounds, their feelings and themselves. I got some heavy Scorpio feelings in the last section and now I’m getting some Libra - I feel like those were significant energies and placements for your pile. This person’s not only heartbroken but almost… burnt out by everything that went down. They’re slowly trying to heal, to let go and forgive, but they’re not having the easiest time. I don’t think they’re “evil eyeing” you in any way, but I also think some distance will do the both of you some good. I feel like Spirit wants to emphasize how good this ending will be for you.

channeled messages: “you deserve better”, “i want to go back to who i was, mental health, physical health, “get over it”, 777, friends with benefits, messing around, fuck around and find out, taylor swift, moved on, finally, second chances, “i was a second option”, simply unrequited.

channeled song: Berenstein by The Band CAMINO | extra: Favourite Song by Tim Chadwick.

PILE FOUR 🩵

what do they think about you? the magician • ace of cups • six of swords.

You’re so nurturing, healing and magical. This person sees you as some sort of fairy, a beautiful, wholesome person who’s got so much love to give and to receive. Even the song that started playing is one of my favorites, a very healing and soft one. They see you as a safe person, an Earth angel, someone who’s almost like their lucky charm. The vibes here aren’t only romantic - they fit for friendships and familial relationships too. They’ve got a lot of fond memories and stories of you. I see someone going through a photo album and laughing to themselves in joy. This person sees a lot of good things in you and you’ve given them some sort of renewed faith in connections and humanity. They know you’ve been through a lot - they see you’re still healing. Every now and then, they catch glimpses of moments when you’re not feeling so good, but they still see your potential and growth nonetheless. I think your words and presence calm this person down. They value your advice immensely, all your words of wisdom and encouragement. I feel like Gemini and Leo are significant placements for this pile - I got the Strength card in the back of my mind, with the woman caressing the lion in the card. You bring calm and softness to this person’s life.

how do they feel towards you? queen of pentacles • ace of pentacles • two of wands.

I heard “wife you up”, lol. If this is a romantic connection, this person wants to offer you a deeper form of commitment - in whatever way that means for your connection. I feel like this person is smitten by you, even if you’re friends, you’re their closest, most prized friend. They’re making plans for something bigger, something greater between the two of you. This person views you as someone they could have ultimate success in every way, someone trustworthy and someone they intend on making accommodations for to fit in their life. It’s so soft and sweet, I see a woman arranging and rearranging pillows in a soft-looking bedroom to make sure her guests will be comfortable during their stay. I think they’re making room for you in their heart and mind, even their home as well. Maybe they haven’t told you, but they’re giddy to have met you and to spend more time with you. If this person proposes to you soon, please don’t tell them I told you! I’m not trying to ruin their plans, but let me say your connection has some really sweet, lovely surprises along the way. If you get engaged though, let me know, pile four. I’m really happy for you!

channeled messages: “fight for you”, “let me love you”, acts of service, bouquets, rainy days, “put your head on my shoulder”, “it’s okay to cry”, “i want to be there for you”, “you don’t have to pretend with me”, cupping someone’s face in your hands, comfort food, hugs, ice cream, care bears, pisces, cancer, healing, therapy, inner child. 

channeled song: Room Service by Holly Humberstone | extra: Break For You by Valley.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

[hannie-dul-set]

may i request yeonjun for the drabble thingy please?

[too early, too late]. choi yeonjun has always been first. no, not in terms of his class ranking, the early bird list, nor is he first to figure out subtext (that goes to taehyun). he’s not the first one to fall in love either (that goes to the dummy beomgyu). but when it comes to everything else, he’d always been first in line.

he’s the first one to have a birthday out of all of you, obviously. he’s the first one to lead the parade across the log on the stream when you were all only one digit old and he was already ten. the cafeteria lunch queue? you better believe he’s already out the door before the bell could even ring. junior high prom? heh, you all wish you could be as cool as him when he got fitted for his first tuxedo.

now looking back, he was the first to meet you out of the other five, too.

“yeonjun-ah! come meet the new neighbors and say hi!”

choi yeonjun has always thought it was something to brag about. something to hold over your little baby heads because he’s older than all of you. he’s got more experience than you. he’s got a little more wisdom (kai begs to disagree).

but being first also means that inevitably—

“congratulations, yeonjun!”

he has to be the first one to go. 

“you better not forget about me when you move out for college, loser.”

and he only belatedly realizes the tragedy of this fact when you show up to his high school graduation, beaming smile, arms outstretched with a bunch of chrysanthemums clutched between your hands to signify goodbye.

“dummy,” he laughs it off, foregoing your cute gift to hook your neck by the arm instead, finishing it off with a messy tousle of your hair. “i’ll treat you guys to big and expensive dinner when you come over to visit my new apartment.” your eyes immediately light up at that promise. something stirs, but something stabs him stronger than the sudden flutter in his ribcage— the realization that oh. it’s gonna be harder for him to see than smile from now on.

he couldn’t even fully register that fact when you’re immediately split apart, soobin placing himself in between you for a group photo. the last group photo you’d all be taking before he officially moves out, leaves the neighborhood, and be the first one to depart your tight-knit friend group since you were toddlers.

“keep in touch, hyung!”

“i’ll kill you if you suddenly start acting like a bigshot.”

“hey, quit crying! it’s not like he’s leaving forever.”

“does— sniffle— does he really have to move out? can’t he just—”

“yeonjun!”

it’s like what taehyun says. it’s not like he’s leaving forever. so when you call out his name amidst all the ruckus, he feels more happy than sad about his scheduled departure. you’ve got your arms crossed, a testy expression on your features, and yeonjun lets out a chuckle.

“your promise,” you warn. “you better keep it, you jerk.”

this is better than a goodbye. “of course.” he pulls you into a hug— not as a send-off, but simply because he wants to. he feels your arms struggle to reciprocate because he’s squeezing you a little too tightly, but you manage to wrap your arms around his chest too, popping up your head with a bright grin. “what do you want? meat? seafood? dessert?”

“all of the above!”

the day of his promised dinner treat comes, one cold spring evening, and yeonjun has his hands buried in his coat pockets while he waits for you in front of the very, very, very expensive restaurant he bragged about (because you guys wouldn’t settle for less). his foot kicks the pavement. you’re all late. he clicks his tongue, checking his phone to see if there’s any text from you. the last one is from taehyun, saying that you’re all on the way.

well, that wasn’t a lie, because just as he’s about to retreat to the restaurant for the meantime for some warmth, he hears the distant sound of loud conversation— laughing, some yelling and some teasing, paired by boots hitting the ground, clumsy 

“hey, are you sure we’re going the right way?”

“duh! my navigation skills are amazing. just trust me!”

“aren’t you tired from all the walking?”

“no, i’m fine! but seriously, kai, are you sure we aren’t—”

“ah, wait. your shoelaces are untied. hold on.”

it’s a familiar sight. a sight that everyone in the neighborhood he’d left is so used to see. five figures pause just across the street. kai with his phone in his hands, darting his head around to match the directions with soobin fretting behind him. taehyun is already tired of it all, sighing when you had to stop because of your undone laces that beomgyu has taken upon himself to crouch down, breathe out, and re-do them for you.

of course, there’s you in the middle of it all, flushed and flustered, and you seem to be doing just fine without him.

“h—hey, i can do it myself, beom—oh!”

you look up. you lock eyes with him. you smile.

and yeonjun feels obligated to smile back.

“there he is! kai, i shouldn’t have doubted you!”

even if it’s too late to pursue you, it would at the very least be nice to walk at the same pace as you.

send me a kpop boy (txt/enha/zb1/bnd/dream) to toss into reverse harem hell! [beomgyu] [taehyun]

[takami-takami]

A Dog Unfed.

includes— hawks x reader. angst. hurt/comfort.

warnings— animal abuse analogy. discussion of drugs and cravings. be warned and avoid this if you need. sorry for spoiling the subtext lol, but it needs a tw. though, i encourage you to apply this however you feel it apply.

perhaps we all have a dog.

Did you ever tell him?

The fullest extent of it all, the thorny vines that adorn your past— more bondage than decoration, a dragging weight against your throat and up your nasal cavity. A growth, an infestation, a plague on your subconscious.

It is a dog you unwittingly adopted— a drooling rottweiler that smacks its jaws and begs and paws at your thighs, pleading to you each night: "I'm hungry, I'm hungry, I'm hungry. Please feed me, I'm hungry."

Everyone who has ever seen your dog has mistaken you for it.

Everyone who has seen your dog has peered down their pudgy little noses, muttered "mutt", spit it and clinked their heels away; or perhaps they simply looked on in sneers of smiling horror, down past their clutching pearls.

"This is you? By god, my goodness! An animal, an animal!"

You used to hate your dog.

You used to lock it in chains outside, let its fleshy paws burn and blister against the cement in the heat of the blaring sun. You grew tired of feeding it, of crushing up its kibble, of leaving it out to dry then quenching its bottomless thirst.

Now you just sit with it.

You sit by its side with your knees to your chest, listening to the cicadas chirp their prayers. Some days, you even let your back burn against the molten floor, a grounding heat while you lie down flat; but every day, every position, your eyes always remain locked on it.

You stare as it rests on its side, fusing to the glistening cement. You listen to its keening whines and dying breaths with a familiar pity and an unbearable disgust.

You blink, unfeeling again now.

You're sure it will never die, no matter how many hours it spends dying.

You never wanted to show Keigo your dog; even though a part of you is screaming and begging to present it to him. A gift from your innards, dirty in the palms of your blistering hands.

Keigo is just like everyone else, you assume. He is kind, he is gentle, he is an angel among men and he is the exact same as everyone else.

You've come to realize a person's good qualities— openmindedness, kindness, empathy— mean nothing in the face of what one is taught. No one is immune to propaganda, and there is no shortage of that nowadays against people with dogs.

The part that makes you doubt your assumptions is this: Keigo has honey in his eyes. Flicks of gold specks dust along the amber of his irises, a sticky kind of love swimming in them that drips down to his lopsided and infuriatingly safe smile.

You could never fathom his nose upturned, as he has been on the ground too many times to do that to another; nor could you picture a sneer from a mouth as sweet as his, honeysuckle and gentle, bright yellow.

So one night, you allow it to spill, hoping for him to soak up your blue one last time.

It's not uncommon for you to spend the dim of your nights at Keigo's home— his real home, the one the commission has never barged themselves in, the one he keeps hidden from every soul in this world but one.

It is uncommon for him to listen to the water of his shower run for several hours.

If you had feathers as sharply perceptive as his, you'd detect the nervous pacing of his leather boots against the carpet of his bedroom floor, even through the sheetrock that separates the two of you. The patter of the showerhead is far too consistent for his liking, very little movement being detected at all and his mind is bouncing off countless possibilities while sticking to none.

Those worries overflow from the cup of his bleating heart, bleeding when he turns sharply toward the bathoom door, resolute.

With a barely audible thud, his forehead traps golden strands between it and the wooden door it rests against.

He doesn't ask you if you're okay. Keigo never bothers with questions he already knows the answer to.

"Baby, open the door. Please," he begs. "I promise, it's okay— just need to be with you. Please."

The song of your sobs muffled through the door causes his feathers to sting an unbearable itch.

How his heart is just as red as those wings. It begins to drip, the string connecting him to you pulled too far for him to take. It— he needs to be with you right now.

A palm slides up the plane, resting firm by his cheek. The air of his breath hits the wood, fogging back against his lips.

"Please, let me in?"

His hopes blossom in the heavy pause that follows.

"...The door's unlocked," you answer.

Keigo knows. He could have pried it open in a heartbeat with a single feather even if it was locked, but trust and respect are precious commodities. They are irreplaceable, yet entirely and easily breakable.

Slowly, the knob creaks open, the careful movement still startling your spine stiff. The heels of your feet gently propel you backwards, firmer against the icy wall at the furthermost corner of the shower. The expanse is wide enough to accomodate fierce wings, wide enough to swallow your comparitively puny body in its open jaws.

Curled in on yourself, soaked, and trembling; this is what Keigo sees when he enters the room. This is what he sees when he dashes over, mumbling words you don't quite catch— some are familiar. "Dove", "sweetheart", "oh, my baby."

Down, he kneels by your side under the pour of the synthetic rain. The fabric of his shirt clings to his skin now, hair soaked just like yours; a wet dog all the same.

And with your tears plopping down against the flat tile, scratched knees held to your chest, you allow it to spill.

It spills through the hiccups, it spills through the wet of your cheeks; and above all, it finally spills through your confession, nose upturned to look up at his shaky gaze.

"Oh, angel..."

You can hear the palpable crack of his beating heart in that voice; but even if you didn't, the rustle of scarlet feathers that puff out in protection give his wounds away.

Keigo busies himself with a racing thought: how could he not notice the signs? He knew there were secrets nestled in the cavity of your ribcage, tandrils of some sort of ivy even he couldn't quite recognize.

You have a weight. Shackles chaining you to be left out in the midday sun.

He could tell. It's not the same as his— it's another flavor, another disease, another beast of its own— but in the most abstract of ways, Keigo could see it: you're just like him.

"Why didn't you tell me," he rasps, cupping your cheeks with shaky palms. They tap and squish like they're searching for signs— distress, hurt, anything.

You smile a mimicry of his, pulled from your most precious memories, and silently beg for that wobbly smile back; but it does not come. Instead, his eyes begin to shine, glassy and wet.

You've never seen him cry before.

You've never felt as desperate for his yellow as you do now, but you have felt this pathetic and small, once. You have felt like an animal, desperate to be domesticated— a synonym for loved.

"Y-You don't need to worry! I'm good, I'm still clean, see? See?"

As if that's the only thing that matters, you tip your chin towards him to offer your pupils as proof.

Such a gesture may shatter hearts, and Keigo is but a man. Despite it all, he is but a man.

He declines the offer, your words more than enough for him— his body opts to tackle you in an embrace instead, clutching your skull close to his hammering chest.

With each wide-eyed blink, the droplets resting on your lashes flick onto his chest. The soaked strands of your hair cling to him, both bodies drenched now by the roaring downpour above.

Water cascades in heaps onto the floor below. It never stops.

With your cheek pressed against his sternum, his scent invades your senses. He smells like cedarwood cologne and thickets of the forest, a warm signature. It matches his labored breaths: sturdy and weighty and masculine.

"I thought you wouldn't see me as a person anymore," you confess.

He hushes your worries as your eyes flutter shut, kissing the crown of your head with unwavering pride.

"Dove... You're my person."

Keigo thumbs away your tears and pulls back to offer you a wobbly smile.

You offer your own in return— a real one, too, this time.

---

The greatest advice you've ever been told was "don't start".

The words felt feeble at the time, like a joke passed down through unproductive seminars in high school out the mouths of stuffy men in suits, men who spoke of the boogeyman and jumped out behind chairs.

It meant nothing at the time.

It means everything now.

It helps you explain a little better to people who've never had a dog.

The words "don't start" are a language they do not speak; and yet, it helps to say it to their mirrored face, to imagine the breadth of your world could be pressed compact into those two tidy little words.

Talking to yourself helps you pretend you're understood.

Even though it is not necessary to be understood before you can be loved:

Don't start.

[mcchipisfried]

I'm watching Hannibal for the first time and I'm not gonna lie I had my doubts. (Currently on Seaon 2 Episode 11)

(ALSO SPOLIERS BELOW though I think I'm the last person on tumblr who HASN'T seen Hannibal)

My forefathers forgive me, I had doubts. So so many doubts. I wanted to go into this show decimating everyone's reasoning that Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham would work as a couple (romantic or otherwise). I wanted to be fed a story about murder, deception, manipulation, betrayal, and maybe even a little but of cannibalism. And don't get me wrong I have gotten this, but I've also been fed a romantic comedy.

I went into this show not wanting to find reasons to want these two together, I wanted to think "Oh the people of tumblr probably pieced a bunch of subtext together and I probably will as well but it'll hardly be anything that I could write about to my friends who haven't seen the show"

I was so fucking wrong.

Really it should have been the moment where Alana and Hannibal were having a ✨️moment✨️ while Will and Margot were also having a ✨️moment✨️ so the way the whole scene played was very. Well. Not what you would expect from a guy that should have every reason to shoot Hannibal on sight. The fucking framing and cinematography got me to send a 3 minute long vm at 2 am to my friend who really doesn't care about Hannibal.

Or maybe it should have been every single time tweddle dee and tweddle dum are even remotely alone together and decide to start eye fucking each other while also making death threats.

But no what got me was when Alana described what was done to Freddie Lounds' body the second time around as a demonstration of a courtship (best way I can phrase it without just explaining the plot that led us here)

Really, its such a small moment.

But the way the two idiots are standing there looking at each other and Alana shouldn't have been as funny as it was nor should it have instantly reminded me of an early 2000's movie where the couple is secretly dating because they just can't help it and some third party, maybe even one the main couples friends discovers them while trying to NOT make it a Big Deal™ because they are in public except y'know, this is happening over the body that Person A burned to a crisp and sent rolling in a wheelchair while Person B got said body after the funeral and made it into an effigy.

Anyways TLDR: I thought the Hannibal x Will stuff was all very insignificant subtext but actually it was just text and it was screaming. I would also like to thank my film, cinematography, scriptwriting, lighting, and storytelling college classes because as it turns out you did do something for me. You made me realize that whatever is happening between Hannibal and Will is not platonic and I will be consulting AO3 to further expand my understanding of these characters as soon as I finish watching the show.

Also yes I know at some point someone says Hannibal is in love with Will. But now I'm starting to believe that.

[serial-serializednovelreader]

Nova’s Notes - Dracula Daily - June 29th

In which Jonathan gets the worst room service known to man.

“To-day is the date of my last letter, and the Count has taken steps to prove that it was genuine, for again I saw him leave the castle by the same window, and in my clothes.”

Not the last letter!!!! I’m sure this date has been on Jonathan’s mind for a long time and it’s telling that he starts the entry off with that. Also, Dracula’s making another trip in Jonathan’s clothing: that identity thief. And Jonathan's keeping watch by the South window again.

As he went down the wall, lizard fashion, I wished I had a gun or some lethal weapon, that I might destroy him; but I fear that no weapon wrought alone by man's hand would have any effect on him.”

This might be one of my favorite sentences in the whole book (subject to change with more of my reread). Just the fact that he elaborates with lizard fashion (as if we didn't already know, but still) and then follows it up with "I want to enact my fantasies of murder on him". Not just to kill him, mind you -- to destroy him. I don't know if Jonathan figures Dracula is the kind of creature that needs to be destroyed rather than merely murdered or if he simply is so angry at him that he just wants him to be a pile of dust by the time he's done with him, but either way I love it. Then ending it with being uncertain whether he'd even be able to kill him with a weapon made by man in the first place (which is not a far off guess) is just such a cool way to end the sentence. Very metal. From start to finish, a perfect line -- 11/10, no notes.

This time, Jonathan's learned his lesson and doesn't wait to see the "weird sisters" come back. Instead he spends his time in the library until he falls asleep (isn't he vulnerable in there too, though? I though only his room was safe. No? Ok.)

When he wakes up, the Count is there (jumpscare) and says this -- grimly:

"'To-morrow, my friend, we must part. You return to your beautiful England, I to some work which may have such an end that we may never meet. Your letter home has been despatched; to-morrow I shall not be here, but all shall be ready for your journey. In the morning come the Szgany, who have some labours of their own here, and also come some Slovaks. When they have gone, my carriage shall come for you, and shall bear you to the Borgo Pass to meet the diligence from Bukovina to Bistritz. But I am in hopes that I shall see more of you at Castle Dracula.'"

It's so interesting to me that Dracula starts off by saying that he's off to do some work which may mean that Jonathan and him will never meet again (implied subtext: because Jonathan won't be alive for it), but he directly contradicts this in the last sentence by saying he hopes to see more of him at the castle (implied subtext: either Jonathan’ll be a vampire too or perhaps, only his remains will be left at Castle Dracula). In-between, he confirms that the last letter has gone through, states that he will be gone (even implying how with the Szgany and Slovak mention), and then ending with how he plans to get Jonathan home. But it's a lie and they both know it. Dracula was his coachman that first night and if he's gone, Jonathan has no transportation to speak of!

Jonathan decides to test this "journey" business and see if it's at all sincere (a word he can't even put in the same sentence as Dracula at this point -- that's how bad it's gotten). So he asks if he can leave tonight, to which Dracula's like "bUt mY cOaChMaN iSnT hErE" (you're the coachman, shut up) and Jonathan says "I can walk." Same kind of exchange goes for the baggage, except Jonathan notes a "diabolical smile".

I'm so happy that Jonathan is still standing up for himself at this point!! Even with everything he's seen, he's not cowering or letting Dracula walk all over him. Instead, he's fighting to get out: this man has a will of steel!!!

"The Count stood up, and said, with a sweet courtesy which made me rub my eyes, it seemed so real:— 'You English have a saying which is close to my heart, for its spirit is that which rules our boyars: 'Welcome the coming; speed the parting guest.' Come with me, my dear young friend. Not an hour shall you wait in my house against your will, though sad am I at your going, and that you so suddenly desire it. Come!'"

Unfortunately, Dracula does things that hint at being real to the point that Jonathan questions himself. Dracula seems so sweet and courteous now from that diabolical smirk he had just a second ago -- it's hard to reconcile the two. I even wonder if Dracula is using a bit of hypnosis on him, but it doesn't work as well as he had hoped due to Jonathan being keen to his tricks. It almost reminds me of that moment in Aladdin (1992) when Jafar is trying to hypnotize the Sultan into letting him marry Jasmine and it doesn't work at first because he snaps out of it long enough to go "--but you're so old!!" Either way, luckily Jonathan sees through it, but it's sad he's in such a precarious position where he has to be constantly wary of these tricks.

This line Dracula says about Jonathan not spending an hour in his house against his will definitely parallels his first lines to him (as Count Dracula, that is):

"'Welcome to my house! Enter freely and of your own will!...Welcome to my house. Come freely. Go safely; and leave something of the happiness you bring!'"

I noticed upon rereading this entry that he repeated it twice -- and in the second part, emphasized coming freely and going safely. In the first line, he also says to enter of your own will, which parallels this entry's emphasis on him not wanting Jonathan to stay in his house "against [his] will" either. Obviously the fact that Dracula has to emphasize this whole "wills" and "safety" thing would be weird on a normal guy, but after all that we know of him, it's even worse irony that he basically promises Jonathan (well, he doesn't promise, but it almost feels like one) a going of safety -- when he's about to do what he does next. Plus, of course, there’s the whole “feeding him to his roommates” thing.

They begin to walk down the hall and Dracula calls out: "Hark!" That's when Jonathan hears the howling of the wolves once more, almost as if Dracula himself is conducting them to howl (he probably is -- overdramatic much?).

After a pause of a moment, he proceeded, in his stately way, to the door, drew back the ponderous bolts, unhooked the heavy chains, and began to draw it open. To my intense astonishment I saw that it was unlocked. Suspiciously, I looked all round, but could see no key of any kind.

What's interesting to me here is the emphasis on no key. How is Dracula keeping the door locked then? I'm almost certain Jonathan could've opened those himself -- so what's keeping this locked normally? If Dracula is using some kind of vampire power on it, wouldn't that be draining for him? Just some thoughts I had -- we don't get a clear answer here, of course.

That's when the wolves start coming in through the door....

"I knew then that to struggle at the moment against the Count was useless. With such allies as these at his command, I could do nothing. But still the door continued slowly to open, and only the Count's body stood in the gap. Suddenly it struck me that this might be the moment and means of my doom; I was to be given to the wolves, and at my own instigation. There was a diabolical wickedness in the idea great enough for the Count, and as a last chance I cried out:— 'Shut the door; I shall wait till morning!' and covered my face with my hands to hide my tears of bitter disappointment.

This is when Jonathan is faced with a choice: it's Dracula or the wolves. Now as many of you on here have already said, I do doubt Dracula would've let him get bit by the wolves -- after all, he's Dracula's Capri-Sun that he has been waiting to feed on for a month. But in Jonathan’s mind, this is a choice and it’s a very villainous one, because Jonathan would’ve chosen the wolves of his own volition without even knowing it. That’s just evil. So, to no one’s surprise, Jonathan chooses Dracula, because at least he has some hope of escape that way.

Unfortunately, he can’t even show his emotions at having any hope of leaving snatched away from him. He knew there was a catch — he knew this was too easy — but he still had hoped and he can’t help but cry at this last easy hope of leaving being taken from his grasp. But he can’t show that to Dracula for a myriad of reasons. For one thing, it would disrupt the all-important “game”, of benevolent host and happy guest, which would be disastrous. Jonathan has already bent this rule considerably by even saying he wanted to leave (which Dracula mentioned somewhat by remarking on his “sudden” desire to leave) and to bend it further might mean a faster doom. For another, it would give Dracula the satisfaction of seeing him so negatively affected by this encounter with the wolves. So all he can do is put his head in his hands and hide the tears. The worst part is he’s not even sad at this point — he’s disappointed.

“With one sweep of his powerful arm, the Count threw the door shut, and the great bolts clanged and echoed through the hall as they shot back into their places.”

Sorry, I know this is a serious entry today, but did Dracula just use the Force to click the bolts back into their places? In plain view in front of Jonathan? New vampire power unlocked (or should I say, locked :D), I guess. Maybe he does do something special with that particular door to keep it closed.

“In silence we returned to the library, and after a minute or two I went to my own room. The last I saw of Count Dracula was his kissing his hand to me; with a red light of triumph in his eyes, and with a smile that Judas in hell might be proud of.”

So they just sat in awkward silence for like 2 minutes? Yikes. This library time is usually when Dracula would spin yarns and Jonathan would listen politely, try to garner information out of him, or — on a good day, perhaps — be genuinely interested in what he has to say. I understand why Jonathan can’t muster up words, but Dracula? He’s really just going to sit in silence with him and not even try to engage him in conversation? I suppose that’s for the best — I doubt Jonathan would have anything to say to him — but it’s so weird that Dracula doesn’t even want to keep up the facade here. I guess he knows the game is up.

Jonathan sure does. He’s done playing games. He decides to go up to his room and turns around to find Dracula blowing him kisses with a smile he compares to Judas Iscariot. I love that he does that because yeah, he definitely should compare him to the worst betrayer, give him no leeway!!! And also because what did Judas do to betray Jesus? A kiss on the cheek. So, I’m loving the symbolism here.

In his room, about to lay down, Jonathan hears some whispering at his door. It’s the Count:

“‘Back, back, to your own place! Your time is not yet come. Wait! Have patience! To-night is mine. To-morrow night is yours!’"

Eep. Yep, so Dracula is ready to feed tonight and will have the “leftovers” ready for the sisters tomorrow. Hate that!!! It would almost be funny (if it wasn’t condescending and grossly sexist) that he sounds like a dog owner commanding their dogs to not eat a treat. And that’s kind of what this dynamic is, right? Dracula sees himself as an all-knowing master. The roommates/weird sisters (Jonathan’s wording for them is growing on me LOL) are his “pets” (UGH, hate it) that he once “loved” in his way and he now looks after and feeds, but traps in this castle. Jonathan is the snack they’re keeping for later (he is a snack, just not the way they’re thinking, hehe).

I’m sure these women are actually much more capable and smarter than he thinks, but once again, with his superiority complex, I imagine he sees them as beneath his notice as well. They can use their phantom forms to move around the castle, but that’s about it. They depend on Dracula for food, though whether they want to is another question entirely. I imagine they enjoy not having to do any of the “food work” themselves (and making him do it — which since he’s the one who condemned them to this fate is honestly a girlboss move of them). But I’m sure they have their restless moments of wanting to escape the castle and gauging whether it would be worth it to overpower Dracula. Another question arises: could they even overpower Dracula if they wanted to? I’m not sure if his age of being a vampire gives him an advantage over them. Again, the narrative doesn’t give us many answers, but I like thinking about these questions.

Jonathan throws open the door — angry — to see the women licking their lips. They laugh at him before running away. It’s good that Jonathan is still able to do things in anger at this point: it means he hasn’t given up yet. I also like that he does this in front of the women — he may have run from them screaming the other day, but he’s defiant today. That is something, at least.

However, afterwards, he drops to his knees and laments about tomorrow’s doom. I guess he had some hope that even though the final letter was sent, he would still have a few days afterwards to hope of escape, or perhaps he was just in denial: both are understandable.

“Lord, help me, and those to whom I am dear!”

While he doesn’t directly mention Mina, it’s obvious he’s talking about her. Thinking of her is likely what is bringing him strength right now. It’s also notable that he reminds himself that she holds him dear, and will miss him if he doesn’t come home. :(

[dreamtydraw]

Hello from the Fishbowl!

Oh I’m so glad you and plant anon agree with me on my vn red flags/icks! Like I said a lot of the red flags and icks I tend to have are really subjective so I get that some people will love what I kinda hate but it’s nice to see I’m not alone on stuff :)

Also, is it bad that I kinda wanna hear more about Heir to Love and Lie? I’ve never played any Fictif games but this sounds like some hot gossip I want in on, tell me more about how bad of a game it is lol. From an outsider perspective I think it’s kinda funny how it’s like “Yes the Fictif app has a bunch of great and fun stories with a ton of good content- NO DONT LOOK AT THAT STORY ITS HIDEOUS-” I know the stories are probably made by different teams so it makes sense that there’s differences in quality but still

Last Legacy and now Roadkill have peaked my interest since I’ve seen you talk about it here (I had never heard of Fictif at all before) but I’ve been a little hesitant to give the games a try because they’re mobile games and frankly I’m not the biggest fan of playing vn style games on mobile, I used to all the time but the grinding for stuff like story keys just to get content that may or may not be good kinda grated on me so I stopped and haven’t looked back. But idk maybe I’ll decide to give Fictif a chance when I have the time, your love for the games are definitely convincing me to give it a shot :)

Also I hope you get better soon and you’re not sick with anything too serious! Take care of yourself!

-🐟

( ok i’ll do proganda about the good game of fictif ask me about htlal on another ask )

Ok so i’ll start by saying that you should def play roadkil, last legacy and monster manor on the fictif app, WITH A CRACKED VERSION! If you have an Android play with a mod app and you won’t have to pay for the special choice ( you still have to wait for keys tho but it’s manageable) I personally use Modyolo. With the mod there is no grind, you just wait for your keys to regenerate to play the chapters.

Why you should play last legacy ? Last legacy is a really well written fantasy romance made by queers, for queers with good queers characters. The narrative is limited but realize that fans of this game haven’t had update in 2 years and we all still love this, that how good the game is for us. What I really appreciate is the approach of the romance, the well-written worldbuilding, and the interesting plot and evolution of the li throughout the story + bonus points the art is really pretty + the music is awesome

This is an otome where you feel the passion of the dev because of all the details and care they put into the characters. It sad that we’ll never get an ending but just because it’s my second favorite otome after Our life i really recomand.

Now another wonderful story on the app is Monster manor. It’s a reviseted tale of beauty and the beast where mc is a reparator that come helps the resident of the manor to fix the place and also fix their issue. Again it’s very well written and although you can get subtile subtext on romance this one is very axed on exploring the character's mental health and their story of self-improvement. ALSO IT HAS A CANON TRANS DRAGON CREATURE WHO’S THE SWEETEST I LOVE HIM HE’S SO WHOLESOME-

Bonus the music is so good i even added it on my spotify- and good art

Monster Manor is one of those stories that leave a very specific feeling in you. I don't know how to describe it but it just has a lot of wholesomeness and character going troughs sad but relatable problems that you see get better and makes you happy that they're healing.

now.... my guilty pleasure.... Roadkil !

THE BROMANCE OF THIS GAME IS SO GOOD I swear

Objectively: This game feels like a wild mess of fan fiction with random scenario after scenario and cliché horror moments, but oh man the ambiance. The best trio of Li, they are close friends, and in the 3 routes the group is just such an amazing friend group. The characters are lovely and it's like reading a bad yet good wattpad fanfic : well written ? no ? But the ideas ? good !

Like i said, this game is based on cliché of horror movies but also on american culture ( which I learned trought this game lol ). It has longer chapters than the other two games (except Tess but Tess got hit by the sexism of a greedy company that wants shirtless men in dating sim to attract gurls ) BUT they all shine.

Poe's route had me ugly crying in the end, Howie's ending is AWFULL but I had a great time, Tess is actually a superbe F Li even whith the dev having to cut her short and ruin her ending, she shine very britgh in the other routes and her own ( for ex she's the one with a shotgun and the one that won you and howie a teddy bear )

I really need more people to play roadkill because it's an underated banger in my opinion and it has many great scenes in the mess of scenarios ( the intro is really good for ecxemple )

Like, when I say not all game needs to be well written? That's what I'm talking about, this one is a hot delightful mess

ANYWAY! My rambling was long but I hope it was interessing !

[notapplicableinformation]

What did Blumiere actually DO to be redeemed? 

I know this sounds like a really silly question, to be frank, it really is, and this isn't me trying to say something of the ending should have been changed in any way, because, no, I think the ending of Super is incredible, with Blumiere and Timpani professing their love at the altar with the incredible music, phenomenal. I just pondered this at one point and thought it would be interesting to look at Blumiere through an objective lense as opposed to a thematic one. 

Count Bleck as a character is incredible, so are the rest of the cast, I could go on for multiple essays for each of these wacky characters. One thing I really enjoy is the juxtaposing types of villainy and roles that Blumiere and Dimentio have to each other, how one is intricatley complex and embedded in the narriative with his tragic tale, and the other is quite paper thin on the surface story (Who may have more underneath, though personally I like him being more shallow on the lore for proper contrast to Bleck, but this isn't relevant to the plot nor this discussion), with quite a strong characterisation to pull him through. They're like two extremes of the villain spectrum; between the sympathetic and complex to the more flat twist type of antagonist that balance each other out very well. 

Count Bleck is a very well written character, I love the execution of his narriative, and the question at hand of what he did to be redeemed really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of the narriative, but it's mostly just a personal ponder-

It makes sense to me that Blumiere found happiness because of his ability to "love", how his love stretched the boundaries of comprehension, his ability to truly love is telling of Blumiere's inner good nature despite all that has been comitted. His willingness and persistance to look for Timpani to even the lengths of the Aftergame itself cannot be unoted. I'm pretty sure this is a key takeaway of Blumiere's tale that is wanted: That true love is the foundation of happiness, and without it, one is empty and hollow. Overall, the game redeems Blumiere with the sacrifice at the altar, where that true love that he does have is professed, and he is eligible for his happy ending through his act of love and sacrifice, and can now live a happy aftergame with Timpani. 

But outside of the incredible symbolic perspective, a hypothetical view where Blumiere's actions are analysed from a critical lense rather than a narriative one; What does Blumiere actually do to be redeemed?

Blumiere was implied to have killed the tribe that took Timpani away and searched to the ends of existence to fnd her, to which when her existence was no more, he sought to destroy everything, as nothing else held meaning to him other than Timpani. (Again, symbolically, all works perfectly well) 

He takes in the helpless minions and promises them a perfect world if they aid him in his destruction, though this is a lie, simply so that he can recruit them and follow the passages of the Dark Prognosticus. (In the English version, some subtext implies he manipulated them to join him, though throughout the game, Blumiere still treats his minions with respect and the original implies that Blumiere had a genuine will to help these minions from the start) 

When Timpani is seen alive, he doesn't try to stop the plan, but simly persists forth with destruction all until the very end, where when he is taken down, he immedietly stops with his destructive behaviour and aims to profess his love for Timpani one last time in a sacrifice. Thematically, this is brilliant. 

But from an active standpoint, I don't think Blumiere really didn't DO anything to get a redemption- His sacrifice, again NOT from a thematic standpoint, hardly counts because he still gets a happy ending with Timpani, alive somewhere else. Blumiere's actions across his life have been villanous, despite his intentions being through the persistence of love. 

Technically you could flip the question to say "Was Blumiere at fault for his actions in the first place?" to excuse the actions caused, and therefore be able to justify his redemption more clearly, and I find the take interesting, for perhaps Blumiere wasn't entirely at fault for his own actions.

Blumiere specifically sought for the 'history' of the prognosticus, seen in the Japanese translation, which implies that he perhaps didn't intend to cause harm to anyone and exclusivley wanted to find Timpani. There are also potential implications that he had been controlled by the Dark Prognosticus itself because of this, and the reason why he didn't stop the world's destruction immedietly when he heard Timpani was alive was because he was fighting for control of himself over the will of the Prognosticus over his mind....But I admit I'm not really too sure how probable this idea IS. The game is VERY clear when it wants to show something relevant to the plot foreshadowed, and I feel if this is the takeaway the developers wanted, that this would have been shown directly rather than in implication. Yes, technically it is said that those who read the book do not find happiness, and I think there are hints towards the book controlling him, but...I feel it's a bit vague?

Also, if he were controlled BY the prognosticus, I feel that the narriative weight of Blumiere's character would be detracted, as what makes a lot of his character so powerful is the lengths he went to show how much Timpani meant to him. Him CHOOSING to destroy all of existence because of Timpani's loss is much more powerful to me than the BOOK making him do it, because it shows Blumiere's agency in the decision. Him CHOOSING the destruction of existence proves how, without Timpani, this man did not find value in existence without the source of his true love. Rather than making Blumiere a victim of naivety for causing damages he didn't intend to.

Overall, this isn't really a serious question, I know very well the writers wanted the people playing the game to look at the big picture and perhaps look at the story from a thematic point of view as opposed to an objective one, as this is a fictional game with a story, rather than something to be looked at with an actual objective lense, but it was a fun ponder regardless. I'd be curious to hear any throughts on the matter. Have a nice day!

[ultimateloserboy]

// TW R-pe and p-do references cuz theres insane shit going on rn??? just a vent or rant or whatever im sorry

i genuinely want to vomit right now i cant believe you people are trying to claim bill fucking cipher is a R//PIST i want to throw the fuck up. i fully respect you and understand if bill and fords situation in the book triggers you but to claim he ever SAd him is a flat out lie and fucking disgusting.

you people dont give a fuck about actual victims you just want to have the moral high ground and its going TOO fucking far now!! telling people theyre as bad as r//pists and p//dophiles because they read the OBVIOUS subtext in a DISNEY OWNED fucking book is insane. genuinely fuck you.

again, if their relationship triggers you i have no ill will towards you and i respect you fully, but to claim its SA or telling other people theyre real life CRIMINALS over gravity fucking falls is batshit crazy dude.

as a victim of multiple types of abuse, yall arent fucking helping anyone, actually!!! yall have triggered me more and made me more sick then the book did!!! because you’re actively claiming that ME as an individual or others like me enjoying or exploring a concept are just as bad as OUR real life fucking abusers!!!!

im on the verge of throwing the fuck up and crying right now. every time i open the fucking gravity falls tab i see silly posts of bill and his little stupid exes and its funny and here comes some asshole telling me im just as bad as the man who abused and assaulted me!

“this is so bad think about real victims!” i AM a real victim and ten minutes ago i was laughing or admiring silly memes or beautiful art exploring a fictional, IMPOSSIBLE relationship. but now i can feel my abusers hands on my skin!! Thanks a fucking lot, jackass!!!!!

bill cipher was a huge comfort when i was like ten or however old i was. gravity falls was an escape from my abuse. and now im being called just as bad as my abuser for enjoying and exploring the actions of the character i loved in my childhood. victims can never have anything because you people constantly want to remind us of our trauma or guilt us when we’re not your perfect little uwu ass victims!!!

and no!! two consenting grown ass men isnt pr//ship just because its toxic!!! this isnt p//do or inc//est and yall need to stop pretending it is!!! this is genuinely a harmful way to look at things for media as a whole!!!! fucking stop!!! please!!!!! stop comparing anything morally debatable to that shit!!!!!!!!

[earlgreytea68]

I’m not a newbie here, but early day fob lore is still sometimes a mystery to me, lol! Love your deep dives, they’re always very articulate, and very well put together, so thank you for doing them. In recent post you mentioned hey chris, and I’ve seen him being referenced before. I sense some deep history and drama in there, lol ) can you enlighten us, fake fans??))

P.s I’m now especially intrigued, as you mentioned him as an ex friend ….)) please, spill the tea ;))))

First, you are definitely not a fake fan. Everybody starts off knowing nothing!! I tell this to my students on the first day of class, so I will say it to you: If we all knew everything right away, what would we even do with life????? So! Not a fake fan! Normalize being a beginner sometimes! Learning is fun!

Second, thank you for the kind words on the way-too-many paragraphs I spend thinking about all of this lol

Third! This is what I have gleaned about the Hey Chris situation. First, I read the unauthorized Fall Out Boy biography. I did this mostly so you did not have to, because it's not that good. But Chris gets quoted a lot wrt the early Fall Out Boy years. This was notable to me, because the reason those early years get so much focus is I think because he could actually find sources, whereas nobody from Fall Out Boy or their inner circle talked to this guy. So that just says to me right away that Chris isn't really part of the inner circle anymore. Pete does sometimes reblog his stuff on Instagram and it feels polite and cordial and not at all like Pete treats his friends. And that's striking because, as I said, Pete is extremely loyal and keeps many friends forever and he and Chris were very close and are notably not anymore and that is in and of itself unusual.

Anyway, In The Beginning, so to speak, Chris was close friends with Pete and the rest of the band, this is how he got immortalized in "Grenade Jumper" in the first place (I assume you know the apocryphal story but in case you don't, I heard it told that Pete told Patrick they should write a song "for the fans," and Patrick was like, "What fans? Chris is our only fan," and so he wrote a song for Chris lol).

The book spends a lot of time on Pete Wentz pre-Patrick, and especially on Pete's relationship with Chris pre-Patrick, which is also another interesting and telling detail, that Chris seems mainly like a relationship that didn't really last past Pete's discovery of Patrick. Although the way it went down between Pete and Chris also doesn't seem to have anything to do with Patrick, so I don't mean to cast any aspersions on Patrick's role in the whole debacle.

ANYWAY, Chris is quoted in the book as saying that he hated Pete before he met him and he was annoyed because Pete always wore his jeans too tight, which is...such an observation to make about why you hate someone. (I literally borrowed the inappropriateness of this observation for Patrick in one of the Halloween fics I've written lol, it just has always struck me as a remarkable reason to hate someone.)

Chris doesn't seem like he was especially the best influence on Pete (I think in the biography he says that they bonded over peeing on people's coats in a coat checkroom which is...yeah, Idk, BOYS) and it's probably for the best that Pete came eventually to orbit more Patrick's way. But for a little while Pete and Chris were tight and close in this manner that is SO FILLED with queer subtext, like, it is INCREDIBLE the way Chris talks about Pete and everything that went down between them.

NONE of that was in the FOB biography (I wrote up the biography here), so I Googled all of this and pieced it together, and Idk if I can find sources now, but I'll link as many as I can. Anyway, there was this whole thing in 2006 where something-something-maybe with Pete and Chris's girlfriend. Chris's "open letter" says at the beginning that it's about Pete having told Chris's ex-girlfriend that Chris was cheating on her, which was a lie. That's what the letter professes to be about. But the letter is way, way, way more than that and keeps referencing having been sold out -- which isn't how I would characterize having my ex lied to about me, it's a weird phrasing for that -- and then there's some other random person involved who Chris is cagey about but who is also angry with Pete for undisclosed reasons.

The point is to say that it seems like something went down between Pete and Chris's ex-girlfriend but it also seems like there is A LOT more going on. The letter is truly vicious in that way that you can be only when you know someone really well, and know exactly what their deepest fears and vulnerabilities are, and exactly how you can hurt them. He goes after Pete’s fans, he accuses him of being fake and contrived and performative, he mocks him for struggling with fame – it’s an extremely calculated attack for exactly what Pete Wentz worries about most, exactly the right way to get at him.

And he succeeds. Pete does respond, mostly entirely to talk to the fans. In what, of course, can seem like another really calculated PR move on his part. But then, that’s the story of Pete Wentz’s life. He’s in a catch-22, because he’s smart and strategic and it’s the same attack that, honestly, Patrick is still defending him from in the Folie era years later: that Pete’s a better guy than he can look from the outside (this interview is a killer Patrick interview about Pete, if you’ve never read it, just do a search for the word “Pete” and read what he says). (He makes similar statements after the hiatus, too. I couldn’t find the interview but there’s one after SRAR is announced where there’s, like, a signed Ghostbusters VHS or something in Patrick’s house and the interviewer comments on it and Patrick’s like, “Yeah, that was a birthday gift from Pete. Because that’s just the kind of awful guy he is, you know, sends thoughtful birthday gifts,” or something, and it’s clear he’s just, always still out here defending Pete Wentz. Patrick is always keenly aware what people say about Pete and always trying to protect him from that.) As for whatever is happening personally, Pete tells Chris to call him.

A bunch of other incredibly dramatic stuff happens. Only a few days after this whole exchange, the dick pics get leaked. I have heard it said that Chris was behind the dick-pic leak, possibly because Pete had sent the pictures to Chris's ex-girlfriend. That aspect of the rumor about them being sent to Chris's girlfriend isn't in that source post I just linked and I can't quite remember where I heard that (although I think it was from someone who was in the fandom around that time tbh).

Whether or not Chris was behind the dick pics, the language that Chris keeps flinging around about him and Pete is extremely loaded. In the original letter, Chris brings up the fact that he's in "Grenade Jumper" and says "guess whos fucking name you're saying each and every night?” which is a weirdly sexual way to put that, Idk, he's talking about the song but still. And then he signs off “oh, and next time you decide to write another song about me, do it right you fucking coward,” which, I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean, actually, but it also sounds really intense. Whatever their relationship was, it just sounds really intense. After Pete’s response, who knows whether Chris called him or not but Chris’s next public response calls Pete his "heterolifemate" and then says "no one knows how to break a heart like he does" (which Pete kind of borrows this phrasing in "never seen a heart I couldn't break"). IT'S ALL SO MUCH and Chris really does seem really angrily heartbroken over whatever was going down. AND THEN HE POSTS PHOTOS WITH MIKEY WAY TO MAKE PETE JEALOUS????? (Everything about this is so straight, am I right?_ AND ALSO THE PHOTOS WORK AND PETE GETS INFURIATED AND FREAKS OUT IN HIS AIM AWAY MESSAGE BECAUSE PETE WENTZ IS MY FAVORITE EVER, NO IRONY hahaha I love him for that.

ANYWAY, this is all to say, Pete and Chris are, as I noted above, now on at least cordial terms, and maybe even closer than that, who knows, I only know public stuff, they might be secret besties. But in general Chris is really the only friend of Pete’s who had a really public falling-out with like this and the whole thing is extremely fraught in AN ENTIRELY HETEROSEXUAL WAY, totally. (Chris is apparently still friendly with Mikey Way, I’ve seen that posted lots of places. I feel like my favorite part about this story is how much Mikey Way gets embroiled in Pete Wentz’s drama and I think he remains totally oblivious the whole time hahaha.)



[highladyluck]

Season 2, Episode 4 Liveblog

Teaser:

Selene is so sanguine about her entire livelihood going up in smoke! It’s almost like this has happened before

Werewolf Perrin rumors have been crushed!

The problem with the Forsaken Ski Chalet is that there’s a Myrdraal infestation in the basement

It is a personal insult that the subtitles just say [chanting] when Ishy is clearly dialing up Lanfear (also if anyone can overwrite the audio for this scene with the dial-up modem sound I want to see the clip)

DARK PROPHECY IS A GO

Awww she’s an amateur artist

Dollars to donuts that ‘older sister’ is an Aes Sedai

It has to be so painful coming back home

Selene is so sanguine about her entire livelihood going up in smoke! It’s almost like this has happened before

How long, Selene? Exactly how long has it been?

I’m gonna need fanart/fanfic of the Forsaken Ski Chalet up near Kinslayer’s Dagger

Awwwwwwwwwww

The Accepted sleeves look AWESOME I know I keep saying that but it’s true! They’re little embroidered ombre flames

Alanna is like ‘I don’t do therapy, I only do sex advice’

Hmmmmm, that doesn’t sound like stilling aftermath, another point in favor of ‘shielded’

It’s good that they are namedropping Cads this early; she came out of nowhere in the books.

DARK, Alanna. Also I bet I know what that change in Moiraine was; the timeframe is right for it to be when Gitara died & she got her quest.

Moiraine is on the case!

Ooooooooooooh this is going to be FUN

DAMN so that’s why she wanted that specific red wine. This feels very on par with the books- Moiraine a step behind but trying desperately to stay in the loop and get Rand what she thinks he needs

Moiraine, damn

Yeah, no point letting him destroy himself until all value has been extracted from him :/

Elayne like ‘she’s been promoted’ lmao she would think it was just that

Oh Egwene, you have not even begun to feel like shit

Ooooh someone gave Liandrin her marching orders

FORESHADOWING

Awww it’s Hopper! Hi Hopper

Werewolf Perrin rumors have been crushed! It’s ok he is a werewolf in my heart, the way Rand is a ghost in my heart and Mat is a vampire in my heart. And by ‘in my heart’ I mean ‘in the subtext’

Huh, interesting thing with the visions

Perrin like ‘excuse me, why did I not get an instruction manual and personal tutoring, this is a shitty apprenticeship so far’

None of the Tower’s fucking business honestly (this is also why info about the Power doesn’t get shared but whatever)

Lmao Selene you lie about more than that

Her face when Rand says ‘you’d be surprised’ lmao, that’s a Lanfear Face (TM)

Oh honey you haven’t even broken the world yet

“[dice rattling]” IT’S MY BOY!!!

Is Min gonna have Mat kidnapped by the Seanchan and taken to Falme? I am INTRIGUED

I’m glad the show explores the rift in families created by the long lives of Aes Sedai

Liandrin says ‘Rescue mission! You love a rescue mission!’

Alanna does not like Dark Prophecies written in blood, I guess?

Ooooh there’s that Damodred spirit (political maneuvering)

“This is my room.” - Elayne

“didn’t ask, don’t care” - Nyneave

Egwene no no no you already have enough trauma you don’t need to go to Falme

Uh oh, always a bad sign when Ishy shows up in your dreams (I love that the non-ta’veren are getting Ishy dreams!) also at this point it should be obv to everyone that Liandrin is bad news bears, even if you missed the lying

Oooooh interesting, what IS In Cairhein?

The problem with the Forsaken Ski Chalet is that there’s a Myrdraal infestation in the basement

Lmao like she didn’t know

Selene doesn’t know anything about being seen as a monster, nope

Oh ok that bit about her soul is great

Rand is vanilla

What the hell

Wow that is the most awkward thing I can imagine happening between Rand and Moiraine, you’re gonna give him a complex about… killing… women… I see

I cannot wait to see Lanfear do some horror movie shit

YEAH

AVI NEXT EP!!!

[stanfordsweater]

2023 creator wrap-up

hiiiii

this year i posted 15 edits and scrapped 3-4 ideas that i'll get back to at some point, which is less than the 55 (!) i posted in 2022. my resolution for next year is to create more and scroll less but overall i'm still happy with that level of output

top five:

rowena / ruby parallels-- i actually fucking hate this one and i'm really disappointed with how it turned out!! all the same it was me getting back to giffing after a dry period and even though i hated it, i still posted it and some people seemed to enjoy it. i tend to scrap projects frequently, but i managed to power through my self-criticism and put this one out there. it set a good tone for the rest of the year.

hook man edit-- something you may not know about me is that i HAAAAAAATE giffing with subtitles because i cannot grasp how to make them look good. this is the first gifset i've ever made where i don't look back and cringe at how the subtitles look, so it stands as a milestone in my editing career :')

maybe 1996 was-- this was a return to form for me, having not made many asw edits in a while. it's commentary on hindsight and living in the past etc. etc., idealized moments in dean's personal history, but also how it's okay to look at the past with rose-tinted glasses when your life is so painful. the subtext here is that dean is denied heaven through his deal, but in exchange he gets to know that sammy lives (even though we know better, lol). i think this memory of sam and the fireworks was something dean thought about in his last moments.

15.20 letters to milena edit-- this one makes me tender ;~; i like that it's simple and understated but packs that emotional punch. it was pretty easy because as soon as i had that line in my head it was obvious to me what to do with it. i think it looks good too!

my letters to milena wincest edit-- this was created over the span of about 6 hours but is hands-down my favourite edit i've made PERIODDDDD partially because i love kafka but moreso because it came to me so easily... it had been cooking in my head for a few months before i made it and every scene i chose i knew immediately that i wanted to include it. the colour grading was really fun and i liked the process of experimenting with the format. if i could change one thing about it i would swap some of the scenes for the "really a reflection of everything else / which is a lie" portion because it makes more sense if the first line has all the good memories and the second has the bitter reality memories, eg. sad baby sam and the spaghetti-os.

[moriarty1234]

T*LC Refutation (but decidedly NOT johnlock refutation)

[Note: I love and ship johnlock because I saw it for myself in the show when I watched it and was part of the general audience in the past. I even want it to become canon in some Holmes adaption in the future. But T*lc needs to get sucked into obscurity and forgotten. Other fandoms like Good Omens, etc., are following the same rhetoric in their "meta" posts, and that needs to go. This is crucial for our basic critical thinking skills and objectivity.]

Read Part - 3 : Everything wrong with "subtexts" and "symbolisms" here.

Part-4: The Harmful Aspect of T*LC:

Let's move on to some more serious issues, or why we (Kim and I) don't believe for even a second that hardcore t*lcers (the ones who're rabid about this theory) ever cared for any type of representation, or even johnlock in itself for that matter.

I say hardcore t*lcers because the normal ones simply believe in t*lc and keep that shit to themselves. I'm even mutuals with them on Tumblr (although I know that when the show was on air, hardcore, insufferable, and deeply problematic t*lcers were in the majority).

1.) The very definition of t*lc : The general idea of t*lc is that johnlock has been planned since 2010 (right from the first episode of S1), this whole show is essentially a love story between Sherlock and John, the cases are not so important, and that johnlock is going to be the endgame canon ship. When the writers deny anything related to johnlock in their own show, they're lying to keep their elaborate plan under the wraps. When Sherlock and John kiss on screen, it'll be a rug pull moment for all the non-believers, their love story will be groundbreaking queer representation in mainstream media, and BBC Sherlock will become a culturally iconic Holmes adaptation. Because sometimes, the queer characters can be the heroes of the story.

All this sounded so nice and fancy to me when I was new to shipping johnlock. Because BBC Sherlock was my first fandom that I ever participated in. Johnlock was (and is) my first ship. I used to be a non-shipper before this, because I'm not exactly a Romance-genre fan in published fiction.

Now I don't like the general idea of this at all. Not because I don't want johnlock to become canon in some version (I really do), but there are so many flaws in the very idea of t*lc.

a.) They didn't even plan what they were going to do with Rosie Watson in S4. They just introduced the pregnancy subplot to raise the stakes in HLV. Only for shock value purposes. This was Mark Gatiss' statement (now I can't find the link but I've seen an article about this before). To think they'd planned an entire romance storyline, but it was just under the wraps the whole time, is unrealistic.

b.) While it's true that showrunners or directors do lie to their fans before a work is published to maintain an element of surprise, Moffat and Gatiss had denied anything related to johnlock too many times, and almost vehemently for most viewers to believe that they're just lying. One can only lie too many times, after all. And something needs to be there in the actual show for (maximum) fans to catch on that they're indeed just lying. There wasn't enough evidence for that. Too many of those scenes just came off as gay jokes instead of anything of real substance. That wasn't a good look.

c.) The third part is really what gets me the most here, and one of the main reasons why Kim and I began to actively despise t*lc, even though we're both still pro-johnlock. These people really thought the ultimate rug pull moment for the entire audience should be... that John and Sherlock are in love? Really? That's it? That's highest standard you have for supposedly groundbreaking queer representation? That doesn't sound right. Queer representation really shouldn't be used for shock value. As if we're not marginalised and isolated from most people already. Especially in my country. That just sounds as though you want to place these two characters in a museum as though they're some exotic beings or something. That's the opposite of a healthy queer rep.

d.) Even if johnlock were canon, it would've hardly been groundbreaking for the purposes of queer representation. Even in the 2010s. Because shows like Breaking Bad (a show from 2008, i.e., before BBC Sherlock, in which a very significant character is canonically gay and black), Elementary (where Mrs Hudson is canonically trans, Joan Watson is a well written character even as a poc female lead, Jamie Moriarty is also properly characterised when mainstream media doesn't have a lot of well-written female villains to begin with), London Spy (which is also a BBC show from 2015), Money Heist (which also features a significant canonically gay character), etc., still existed. I'll even list The Irregulars as an example, even though the first season of that show was aired in 2021, because that was still before the Sherlock Holmes franchise entered the public domain. Watson is canonically gay and black in that one.

e.) This is a detective show you're talking about. Cases aren't important? You kidding me?

2.) Rabid t*lcers were hypocritical as hell. They used to demand canon johnlock for "representation", but they were all sorts of bigoted people themselves.

a.) They made racist comments about Lucy Liu.

(From Sarah Z's video) :

They've called slurs to fans of colour in the fandom (I can think of one fan specifically right now) for not shipping johnlock.

b.) Characterising Sherlock as a twink, gay baby, or "smol" is fetishistic. It's just homophobia indirectly.

c.) They went rabid about the bisexual Sherlock headcanon, Instead of simply disagreeing with it for whatever reason. You're not doing the queer community any favours by h/cing John as bisexual just for your johnlock shipping, only because he has canonically shown attraction to women.

See this:

Stop playing the victim card right after perpetuating biphobia lol. You need to rewatch the show if you think mere fascination was all he felt for Irene. Also, even if he genuinely didn't show any attraction to any woman in canon, fanon can still be its own thing. Not everything has to be strictly canon compliant.

One more:

Stop straw manning and assuming real people's sexuality. Stop ship bashing. Enough with the biphobia.

This person is a johnlocker and "The One" obviously means johnlock here. No, not everyone is uncomfortable because of johnlock for bigoted reasons. People are allowed to have preferences.

Another one (probably my favourite) :

Talk about hypocrisy. The title of this post sounds so positive to bisexuality, but then OP goes right ahead to frantically claim Sherlock is 100% gay and not anything else!!! 1!!

Sherlock is heavily queercoded in the show, I agree. I don't even care whether that was the authorial intent or not at this point. That's what a non-insignificant amount of people took away from this show.

But his canon sexuality was never specified. People are allowed to interpret his sexuality however they want. You are nobody to state your own headcanons as facts.

More hypocrisy.

d.) The acephobia was rampant in this fandom mostly because of these people. It's a well-documented fact.

e.) The misogyny in this fandom was ugly. The kind of outlandish metas they write trying to disprove adl*ck from the show... jeez. If adl*ck definitely doesn't exist in this show, why would you need to disprove it so many times through your meta posts?

Can't erase something that really isn't there, just saying.

"Irene is just a personification of Sherlock's libido for John." Seriously? Do you even listen to yourself?

Don't get me wrong. I blame Mofftiss equally as much for not writing women properly in general, Irene Adler in particular. They butchered canon Irene Adler (a queen) way too much in their show. But the fans' response to her was almost worst.

It's understandable if the show's version of Mary doesn't sit right with you for whatever reason. People are allowed to have preferences. Personally, I'm quite neutral about Mary Morstan in this show.

But these people used to take their hate for her too far. These people have never been as mad at Moriarty, or even at Culverton Smith, as they all were at Mary for shooting Sherlock. Again, this is a crime drama show. Not all characters are going to be sunshine and roses.

3.) Rabid t*lcers hardly ever tried to explore johnlock in other versions. If you're a fan of Sherlock Holmes, you'll be at least curious about different adaptations that exist out there. Why did they hardly ever posted about The Irregulars when it was aired? An adaptation in which Watson is canonically in love with Holmes? I've been around in the johnlock fandom enough to know that the rabid t*lcers (NOT ALL T*LCers) never really cared about the possibility of johnlock in some other version after it ultimately didn't become canon in BBC Sherlock. They only care for johnlock as long as Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman are associated with it.

... Yup.

(ACD canon Watson was in his early thirties in the first novel. That's not middle aged. Joanlock didn't even become canon - something that was specified since Day 1 - in Elementary lmfao. Also, Lucy Liu was in her forties when Elementary aired. Get your facts straight.)

All these three points are enough to conclude that what t*lcers usually posted about was obviously not "demand for representation", but rather a demand for some extremely specific fantasies acted out on screen with an even more specific choice of actors.

I even joked to Kim about this: The stuff they demand for is so extremely specific that it sounds like a Starbucks order lol.

Part: 5 - Conclusion:

I want johnlock to become canon in some version of Sherlock Holmes adaptation. But I want t*lc as a theory to be completely forgotten and obscured. T*lc is definitely not the way to go about it. Other fandoms (namely Good Omens) have started to write "metas" with the exact same rhetoric in them, and now it's completely unacceptable. It's 2024 now. Let it go.

Some interesting links Kim and I found that are very insightful and relevant to this post:

About cults and the followers

Cult psychology

Conspiracy theory psychology

Science vs pseudo-science

Science vs psudo-science - 2

Conspiracy theory psychology - 2

Signs someone is a pseudo-intellectual

One explanation why even otherwise sensible people seem to believe in t*lc

PS: Not every dark haired character/ blond character is a Sherlock/John mirror respectively. That's not how character-mirroring works. Experts would know this.

T*LC refutation (but NOT johnlock) refutation master post.

[sevensoulmates]

So I remember you saying that when tv studios are making their shows, nothing is left to chance and every decision they make is carefully put together, right? And when they first revealed the title for the fourth episode I didn't really knew it was the name of a song by Ella Fitzgerald, it's only recently that I read the lyrics of the song and it must mean something right? Because it's obviously a love/pining song.

Btw I was meaning to ask about your favorite Eddie/Buck moments that made you think "There's no way this is platonic" of course you don't have to explain in detail if you don't feel like it or don't have the time but it's always joy to read what you have to say about buddie 🙏😄

Hi there! Sorry for the delayed response! As typical of me, my opinion on episode titles is gonna be on the realistic side and this answer is kinda rambley. Obviously, episode titles reflect the content of what the episode will be about, but it isn't always exactly what it seems on the surface. And that's on purpose, we usually get episode titles in advance before the episode airs and they don't want it to spoil the entire thing (hence why I don't think "placeholder titles" like "henren begins" or "buddie begins" are real).

911 has been known to borrow some of their titles from well-known movies. Examples: "Love, Actually" -> "Buck, Actually", "Oceans 11" -> "Oceans 9-1-1". "Brawl in Cell Block 99" -> "Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1".

They've also been known to copy super common phrases. Examples: "Careful What You Wish For", or "The One That Got Away".

They also use quite a lot of questions in the titles. Examples: "What's Next?" and "9-1-1, What's Your Grievance?" and of course a million 911 puns.

When it comes to song titles, that's a little harder to judge. Song titles often have common phrases like the ones mentioned above in them, so some titles could coincidentally overlap with song titles. One example is "Wrapped in Red" which is also a Christmas love song. Or they have episodes like "Love Is In the Air" where the song is also played in the episode ending montage. These are also just common phrases and don't necessarily have to be associated with a song.

"Buck, Bothered and Bewildered" is a bit of an odd case (as is "You Don't Know Me" but for a different reason), because it is undeniably the title of a very well-known song. But plenty of other shows have made use of the title and song in episodes before so it's not exactly unprecedented.

In my opinion, I don't think we should be taking the song lyrics themselves 100% at face value and expect them to translate point for point into the episode. That's just a bit unrealistic. BUT I do think the overall vibe of the song, and the general meaning of the phrase "bothered and bewildered" can be taken as a general idea of overall themes that will be explored in the episode, but not just for Buck, even though his name is titular this time. Episode titles almost always refer to the general themes that ALL prominent characters with arcs in this episode are feeling. So chances are it will apply to Athena, Chimney, and Eddie too. My speculation is likely that Chimney is also going to be confused by Buck's actions (and possibly something to do with Maddie) And Eddie will likely also be very very bothered and bewildered by Buck's actions and feelings in this episode. Maybe Tommy too?

I am fairly positive this episode will provide huge hints and steps in the right direction toward buddie canon. And I also want people to remember that characters DO NOT always have everything figured out. Just like normal humans, they can misunderstand their own feelings, not recognize the truth/gravity/context of their feelings, and even LIE (straight to the audience's face) about their feelings. Here is where learning how to (realistically) read subtext and not be afraid of it comes in.

As for "friends wouldn't do that" moments, well I think @useramor explained it best with their post here. ALL of buddie's moments could have a platonic reading to them, but it's the extra layers of desperation, hiding feelings unnecessarily, the lack of boundaries, the merging of entities, and the way they can never actually acknowledge or define their relationship in any true way, that makes almost all of their moments ALSO read as romantic. In my opinion, if writers want a moment to be read as entirely platonic with little to no room for romantic readings, there are ways to do so where at least most of your audience will understand. Instead, the 911 writers tend to place nearly all of buddie's interactions in a platonic-romantic limbo, and I personally think that's on purpose. Biding time, if you will.