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flowering-thought · 13 days

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Part 2? Fuck I've been thinking about them too much again so here I am ;-;

Supossed to be writing something else but this AU has me held by my nonexistent balls-

Brainrot gods please spare me I am nothing but a simple creature who doesn't get enough sleep

Masterlist

WARNING - MINORS DNI

AFAB reader and reader is described as feminine and chubby/plus sized.

Yandere themes, obsessive behavior

COD Psych Ward Unit × Reader

When you were first transferring shifts from night to day, you only had a weekend to adjust your schedule.

You had told the boys about it previously so they were very eager to actually get to see you in the light of day instead of the cold lights of the hospital at night.

What they weren't expecting was your disheveled form and the annoying laugh of the front desk person who witnessed your poor state early in the morning at breakfast.

Price was pretty sure the scrubs you were wearing were inside out and Ghost could tell from where he was sitting that you definitely had eyebags.

Soap noticed that the usually organized tote bag you brought to work was stuffed a bit more than usual and he could tell you were not very happy.

Gaz had assumed the change would be tough on you but not this tough. The sight of you was enough to make his heart clench and the need to hold you in his arms worsened.

They really hadn't expected you to be this tired. The moment you made it past the desk they saw your shoulders droop and your eyes close for a moment, likely getting your bearings before the annoying form of the one and only Philip Graves stepped in front of you, getting in the way of their view.

"Well, what do we have here? Some poor darlin' made their way to the wrong unit?" the Texan teased, a shit-eating grin tugged at his lips.

What he didn't expect was your eyes to open and softly glare at him, a wry smile appearing on your features as you raised your brow at him, "And I wasn't expecting a warm welcome from a cowboy wannabee? Go eat breakfast, cowboy. I gotta get ready for my shift." You fired at him and watched as he put his hands up and backed away, a genuine grin on his features.

You rolled your eyes and moved down the hall, using your badge to access the breakroom and put your stuff away. While you got ready in the breakroom, trying to make yourself look more presentable and put together before your shift officially started, a commotion was happening in the common area with Ghost tugging graved by the neck of his shirt.

"Keep your disgusting paws off Graves. The last thing they need is some bastard like you interrupting their day." He growled, his fist tight as Soap and Gaz stood just in case they needed to support their lieutenant.

Graves just gave them the biggest shit-eating grin, his hands still up as though surrendering, "I'm not sure what you mean boys? Just givin' my greetings to the miss?" he teased.

Ghost stared him down until he decided to let go, Graves shirt wrinkled and scrunched up from how tight his grip was. Unfortunately, having 141 show interest in you made multiple others notice and observe you. And to Graves? He was curious about you from the moment you stepped into the ward on your day shift with those sleepy eyes that made him think about holding you close under the sheets. What can he say? He's a sucker for pretty things like you.

The moment you stepped back into the hall, the first thing you did was check the schedule, seeing if anyone had any meetings with the doctors or group therapy which was usually every day in wards like these. Much to your surprise there was nothing. You even checked the chart and notes from doctors but it was practically just telling you to let them sit in the common area through the day and lock them up at night.

You hummed to yourself, looking from the schedule to the assortment of men scattered around the tables where shitty games were played and they all clearly looked bored.

You had never worked in a ward as lacking as this one. It's like they were just kept here under high security for the fuck of it. You huffed before checking the rules for nurses and the activities they were allowed to do with the patients. And as you expected you were allowed free reign.

You couldn't help but shake your head in disappointment. Well if you were going to get paid well then you're at least gonna make the patients happy even if you have to force them to participate in activities.

So there you were, standing at the windows where all the tables could see you with an Uno deck in your hands, "Hello! Nice to meet you all I'm coming from the night shift so you'll see me more often!" You greeted, multiple heads and chairs turning to face you.

You hated the shift in attention but kept a smile on your lips and tried to ignore the invasive stares. "I'm nurse (L/n). And the schedule here looks a little lackluster, so I thought maybe a friendly game of Uno?" You offered.

The boys all sat at one table and just couldn't help the little flutter in their chest at your sudden proclamation. Graves sat at a table with Konig and Horangi. Konig, with his constant leg shaking and Horangi, just played with a deck of cards in his hands. Nikolai, who was still eating, sat at a table on his own but put the plate down at the sudden mention of an "activity".

You felt very awkward with all the stares but kept up the smile on your face as you brought a couple extra chairs to an empty table, "If anyone wants to participate, just come sit over here.".

Soap was quick in his decision, immediately choosing a chair next to you and Gaz tried to be fast but sadly Graves beat him to it. Gaz tried to grab Graves by the back of his shirt like Ghost had but watched your brow lift at the sight of his agitation.

With a huff, Gaz sat next to Soap, clearly ticked off, and glared at Graves, who had the same grin as always. Horangi, who you had yet to officially talk to sat down at the table.

Nikolai joined after putting his plate away while the rest who didn't want to participate brought over chairs so they could watch.

You smiled happily as you opened the uno cards and started shuffling, you weren't the best but you tried anyway and then gave everyone their cards.

Horangi lifted his hand, his eyes shielded by his sunglasses so you couldn't tell if he was looking at you or the cards in his hands, "How exactly do you play this?" He asked, his fingers holding onto the cards and fiddling with them curiously.

You looked around as the rest also didn't seem to know how to play the very colorful game of Uno. You laughed as you explained, the sight of grown men not knowing how to play uno somehow very amusing.

After explaining the basics and the rules, Gaz was the first one to get a double plus four by Graves, with an argument breaking out between them about how it's unfair.

Graves ended up calling Gaz a sore loser which made you stop him, "Nope, no name calling Mr. Graves. Play nice or I'll make you quit the game now." You warned, watching as his brows lifted in surprise. Gaz gave him a triumphant smirk and settled back into playing despite the massive amount of cards now held in his hands.

It went on like that for a bit, with the first person to get Uno being Nikolai, who proudly and very loudly claimed victory. "I win so I'll be getting a reward yeah?" He asked, his eyes pointing straight to you.

You just smiled and nodded your head, "Mhm, I brought extra snacks for the dayshift so I'll share them with you.".

The next person to win Uno was surprisingly Soap who had been very secretive about the cards he had and tried his best not to get angry when the color changed to something he didn't need.

Unfortunately, Horangi had the most cards in his hands. The ever-growing pile in his hands looked so bad you wanted to offer to take some off his hands but part of you also wanted to win.

It went on like that till lunch, with you getting uno, then Graves, and lastly with Gaz. The only one who didn't was the last player Horangi who had what you figured had to be the record holder of cards at 36.

You had fairly given out the snacks you promised, with Nikolai getting extra for being the first Uno winner. But you did sneak Horangi some candy you kept in your pocket with a small smile and your index finger to your lips.

And the day went fast with you proposing activities and checking over charts and rules. Honestly part of you didn't understand why these men were here.

From what you had seen all had been a part of the military and all had the problems that came with it. Ptsd, Cptsd, paranoia, insomnia, things that weren't exactly too bad and could likely be treated outpatient with how well the men acted.

You've seen many kinds of people in psych wards, and these men were the kind that would maybe need a month at most, not long-term stays.

While you wondered about it at your little desk you saw the head nurse approaching, a grumpy-looking woman who always had her hair held back in a tight bun that you imagined definitely hurt her scalp.

She looked to be in a bad mood as normally she didn't approach any of the nurses during their shifts and especially not in front of patients.

"What are you doing?" Came the shrill voice you had yet to get used to.

You flinch, your eyes darting between your desk, the head nurse, and the men who all sat eating dinner as it was now later in the day.

You looked a little confused, your hands coming down to sit in your lap, your fingers fiddled with each other before you replied, "Checking charts ma'am? Also checking schedules so I can plan activities." You claimed, your tone coming off ever more confused as if to ask why she was questioning you.

Her eyes glared at you as her hand raised to her hip, "Goodness I know you've been here for maybe what? A month or two? But you don't have to try so hard. This is a very lax ward for nurses you don't have to entertain the patients or even talk to them. Just give them medication and send them on their way." She stated, as though it was the most natural thing.

You wanted to protest but before you could she slammed her hand down on your desk and got close to your face, "Just listen hm? They don't need any special attention. They don't need kind treatment and they definitely don't need to be rewarded. Yes, I can't punish you for doing so but I can make things more difficult if I have to." She warned.

Price hated it, the way your body curled in on itself, how your eyes widened at the woman in front of you. All of the boys practically had to fist their knees to stop themselves from getting up.

Graves was silent but inside he was fuming. It was your first day shift and you're getting scolded by the head nurse for being a good nurse? What kind of damn logic is that?

Konig was getting anxious just watching, his leg bouncing aggressively enough to shake the table he sat hunched over. Horangi would have tried to help him out, but his hand ghosted over the candy in his pocket to prevent himself from yelling at this crazy woman who called herself the head nurse. He always hated when foolish women yell at innocent people like you.

Nik had to look away at some point, his hand gripping the table so tight you'd imagine his veins would pop if he gripped it any tighter.

After the woman thought she had thoroughly warned you, she told you to get off your shift and head home. "What? I don't even have to sign out for thirty minutes!" You protested, standing up to face her better.

You were beginning to get upset at her actions. She had never been this tight on you during the night shift, so why was she like this now?

"Just be glad you're getting off early hm? Have a good night (L/n)." She said.

You looked at her before walking off, heading to the breakroom to grab your things from your locker. You silently fumed as you signed out at the front desk, the women who knew you at the front desk gave you a look of sympathy as you walked off and out of the building.

When you got in your car you had the urge to scream but you just turned your key in and blasted music, your grip on the steering wheel tight.

On your way home you stopped by multiple places, the store to get a month's worth of snacks and the crafts store to get stickers and other things. Among them, you saw a couple of fidget toys. Squishy things and others with all sorts of switches and flips.

You contemplated before grabbing a couple, remembering the chart.

While at the crafts store you also bought some games, simple things that would be safe to bring into the unit and enough to piss off the head nurse, "Don't need kind treatment my ass... fucking bitch.." You grumbled, opening up the door to your apartment and plopping down.

"If I'm gonna be the only nurse to do my job then I'm doing a damn good one." You confirmed out loud, talking to no one but yourself as you clutched the blankets closer before falling asleep.

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itsjustaninchident · 10 months

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Starlight☆

Lando Norris x Model!Wife!Reader

smau

summary: Getting married means having children.... Or not? 5 months into marriage and a lot of hate and pressure has been thrown on the couple. A part 2 of To the Moon and To Saturn.

warning/s: sexual innuendos, misogynistic comments, hate comments (tell me if I missed something)

author's note: This is the most tedious and longest work I've probably done here 😭 I definitely enjoyed doing this, I enjoy reading comments from you guys and also requests are always open, I'm just not fast in making it but I'll definitely do your requests🤍

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,321,987 others

yourusername oh sorry can't find it on the mirror where I gaf

view 63,483 comments...

user1 THE IT GIRL OF THIS GENERATION

user2 THE FUTURE KIDS WOULD SAY THEY WERE BORN IN THE WRONG GENERATION UPON SEEING THIS GIRL IN THE FUTURE

user3 scrolling through the pictures slay after slay and then lando norris

user4 i still can't believe they're married

user5 Can't wrap my head around how a man who drives for a living is dating the hottest girl alive

landonorris can't believe it either

user6 at least he's self aware

user7 you're both hot tbf

user8 why are hot people only for hot people

user9 this is just too cute

user10 their kids are gonna be good looking istg

user11 I mean the parents are both good looking so

user12 can't wait omg they're gonna look so cute😭

yourusername respectfully, no.

user13 oh.

user14 is this how I confirm they both don't want children😭

user15 yn shutting off comments suggesting kids for both of them😭 she's just like me fr

user16 yn is so real for that😭 she def saw that tiktok girl with the list

user17 THE WORLD IS SIMPLY NOT READY FOR THIS GIRL😭

user18 haters are found in the ditch i fear

landonorris

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,239,876 others

landonorris P2 in Singapore!❤️

view 32,987 comments...

user1 congrats lando!!!

user2 definitely deserve!

user3 why is yn not present in the sg gp?

landonorris she's busy with work :)

user4 shouldn't yn be present to her husband's races, she like missed 4 races already?

user5 girl she can't possibly be with him all the damn time😭 she's got work too

user6 leave yn alone, she literally go all out whenever she can support lando in his races

landonorris she supports me even though she's across the world, it's not her responsibility to go to every race and she has her own work to tend to.

user7 GAGGED!

user8 when he never lets anyone talk shit about you>>>>

user9 they definitely deserve each other

user10 can people stop demanding for yn and just congratulate lando😭 leave the girl alone she's not doing anything to y'all

yourusername CONGRATS BABY! any requests? ;)

user11 HE'S DEF GETTING IT😭

landonorris i think i've made it clear on chat🤔

yourusername assertive, i like it🫡

user12 STOP BEING HORNY ON MAIN?

user13 they're literally unstoppable 😭

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, landonorris, and 976,890 others

yourusername let me fix my shoes first

view 21,765 comments...

lilymhe can u please divorce the L word and elope with me?

yourusername contacting the lawyers📞

landonorris HEY!!

alexalbon maybe we're the ones meant for each other, mate

user1 L WORD?!😭

user2 this is actually alex's karma for calling his girlfriend the squid game girl😭

user3 personally would be my last straw

user4 why is yn always outside, can't even become a decent wife and do her chores

user5 women should just stay in the house and cook.

yourusername you should try a challenge

user5 and what is that?

yourusername it's called shutting tf up

user6 GET HIMMMM

user7 you idiots, that's literally her job she needs to constantly attend events and model products she's not outside for NOTHING, unlike you.

user8 maybe that's why they don't have kids together lol he definitely would divorce her later on

yourusername checked your profile, looks like you're not even close to getting your first girlfriend

user9 HELP😭 OMG I LIVE FOR UNFILTERED YN😭

user10 these disgusting comments about yn... she's so strong to be able to handle all of these hate just because she's married to a well-known athlete.

user11 the absolute sickening moments ever for women, we can't have anything. The world does not want us to be happy.

user12 true, makes me think how she even deserves all the hate comments when she's been the nicest, most supportive, and loving partner to lando

user13 the answer is easy, she's a woman who married a man. All these men who never grew out of their highschool phase suddenly think they've got the right to talk shit about her just because she married their favorite athlete🙄

user14 YN CAN YOU PLEASE STEP ON ME

user15 calm down girl, my boyfriend's on this app🥵

yourusername oh honey, if your boyfriend admires other girls he's not your boyfriend anymore

user15 IM JUST KIDDING I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I WANT

user16 she's an it girl and a girl's girl🫡

user17 she really said don't let any man disrespect u

via interview...

via twitter...

via article...

via twitter...

yourusername

liked by landonorris, carmmenmundt, and 2,309,674 others

yourusername baby #1 full of food

view 23,029 comments...

landonorris can't believe this is how I find out I'm gonna be a dad

yourusername thanks for feeding me ig now u're gonna have to take full responsibility

landonorris i fully accept becoming a father of food

user0 idk what's up with these two😭

user-1 they're literally the perfect match both of them goofy af

yourfriend is this for real?!

yourusername no bae ;)

yourfriend AMEN

user1 not yn trolling the whole damn nation only for it to be a food baby😭

user2 this is what the media gets for pressuring them into becoming parents when clearly they want a different path lol

user3 true, they've made it clear numerous times already that they want to enjoy their married life more and not involve kids in the process

user4 they're so real for that

user5 I remember in an interview of yn with the same question and she said something like "I just feel like in this day and age, having children isn't a priority for most people of this generation and I'm glad that most of us are realizing how big of a deal it is to have children and deciding to not bring them in this world when we are very self aware of our capabilities. It's time we should stop pressuring couples, more so women in giving birth because it's not the only thing we're here for."

user6 SHE'S SO SLAY?!

user7 MY ELOQUENT QUEEN

user8 slay after slay

user9 everyday i have to be reminded that im actually not married to yn and we dont have 4 kids tgt

user10 SHE'S LEGIT SO ICONIC FOR THIS😭

user11 a slap on the face for those nosy people up in their business

hope y'all actually enjoyed this as much as I did writing it😭 comments are highly appreciated 🫶 lovelots♡

#lando norris x oc #lando norris x reader #fluff #f1 #f1 fic #f1 fluff #f1 socmed au #f1 fanfic #lando norris #f1 smau #lando norris au #lando fluff #lando norris x y/n

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bicheetopuff · 5 months

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(Ch. 336)

You know, this panel has always made me a little curious. Every other time we saw Izuku sparring with Katsuki (before the war started at least), he’d use blackwhip to defend himself, hence ‘catch-a-kacchan’ so I found it weird how Izuku didn’t even try to grab Katsuki. For like 100 chapters prior to this, he used blackwhip for everything and would eventually just leave it out incase he needed it quickly kinda like how Hawks utilized his feathers (when he had them) so I kinda just made a mental note about how weird it was that Izuku chose to evade instead of defend when he easily could’ve.

I also found it weird how quickly Izuku wanted to change the topic along with the distress on his face. I thought it was just a cheap and ooc way of explaining Todoroki’s new power quickly but, since it’s now confirmed that Izuku has PTSD about Katsuki’s sacrifice, what if Katsuki’s cluster move triggers that trauma response too?

The next time we see cluster used with Izuku present, Izuku actually does respond with blackwhip.

(Ch. 404)

He doesn’t use it in defense though, he uses it in almost possessive way by securing their hands together with it. But also, he doesn’t speak for this entire chapter. It could be explained away by the side effect of using gearshift and him not being able to breath but before now, he’s been more focused while in distress and was also speaking just fine before. Though, in these panels, and through the entire chapter, he seems almost delirious and in shock. He’s not even reacting to the lack of oxygen anymore.

He even starts ignoring Shigaraki in these moments. He’s stunned and mesmerized but now I’m starting to question whether he’s amazed or scared out of his mind for what might happen. With that uncertainty, all that I can say confidently is that he’s distracted.

(Season 7 ep. 4)

Arguably after chapter 404, he stops thinking straight and, honestly, gets a little sloppy. A few chapters after this, is when gets danger sense stolen and starts getting truly injured. He makes the decision to give away OFA and loses his arms. He reverts right back into his “I don’t care what happens to me” mentality that his class has been trying to get him to grow out of for a while.

He wasn’t mentally prepared for something to go wrong in this fight. He wasn’t mentally prepared to be pulled away, leaving Katsuki with Shigaraki. I thought it was just iffy writing that he’d mentally regress after Katsuki woke up instead of before but, it honestly makes a lot more sense now. He cared about what happened to himself because he needed to stay alive to ensure Katsuki’s revival. Once Katsuki woke up and he watched him fight AFO, he started being reckless again. He went back to viewing himself as nothing but a vessel for OFA because he believes OFA is the only thing that can beat AFO, hence why he trusted the vestiges when they said “we can fight him from the inside” (which I think was a silly decision. It’s noble in theory but it amounted to nothing because Izuku can’t win in this regressive state of self sacrifice anymore. Or at least, he shouldn’t since it’s such a big part of his arc.).

And now, with the most recent chapter with most of his classmates present it seems like he’s regretting that decision because he’s being reminded that people care about him. They showed up to support him regardless of already being hurt because he can’t win on his own. Eri mutilated herself to help him and if that doesn’t tell him that fighting without the intent of not dying is stupid, idk what will.

(Ch. 421)

He was about to just throw himself back into the fight with the same mindset as before if Aizawa didn’t stop him. He looks frustrated because he realizes the weight of what he’s been doing and how looking up to AM and the previous vestiges shouldn’t be his role models right now considering all of their fates. He’d just be continuing OFAs curse like Katsuki’s been worried about for a hundred something chapters.

In conclusion, this post was very unfocused but I can’t wait to see Izuku kick ass and for Katsuki to show back up because with the impact he’s had on Izuku, I DESPERATELY need them to talk. Most of this post may have very well been a stretch but, let me be delusional please.

#bnha #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #bnha 421 #also rereading some of these chapters made me realize that katsuki changed fate just like Izuku did when Nighteye looked into the future #I think we’re all being far too normal about that #oh Katsuki’s gonna show back up btw #he literally has to for what’s happening to make sense #same with iida and Uraraka #bakudeku #bkdk #I’m sorry but this last memories episode chemically altered my brain and made think of Izuku’s character so much #he’s just a kid #bnha meta

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pruneunfair · 1 month

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The internalized sexism in remarried empress, (for an ask)

*this is going to be a long one so hold on tight*

It's no question that remarried empress is one of the most popular manhwas on webtoon and being so popular it holds a lot of influence, unfortunately, that influence promoted the internalized misogyny in not just the readers but in other works as well.

In the first chapter, Navier is presented as this baddass perfect woman, during her divorce trial she brings in a hot rebound who also happens to be another Emperor so she wont have to give up her life as empress, sounds pretty feminist right? Unfortunately that's only one of the few times we see anything related to feminism at all.

We are soon sent back a few months before the trial and right away, Naviers ladies in waiting are tearing another woman down and already believe this new woman is a threat to Navier because the Emperor Sovieshu is attracted to this newbie

We are shown the basic concept of how the narrative wants us to view these two characters. Navier is perfect empress who is being wronged by her husband and this unnamed woman who's only crime so far was existing is a wench and a homewreaker, the ladies imply it as some sort of extreme act of disrespect for having to bathe what they believe to be a slave, proceeding with sucking up to the lead by saying they only wash their hands to bathe her as they don't even wash themselves and even when they admit this mystery woman to be beautiful they backtrack to making sure Navier is supported. You might think that this is just friends supporting friends but it goes beyond on that later on.

Later on we are introduced to this mystery woman, Rashta, a former slave found by Sovieshu in the woods who is immediately portrayed as rude, stupid, and a crybaby

The reason she cries is because she was struck and referred to as "the slave" while she wasn't very polite it's clear Rashta isn't doing this on purpose, rather it is sheer ignorance and an unusually large optimism

now, a lot of people like to say that Rashta must've done something on purpose to get Laura imprisoned and that she knew what she was doing, therfore justifying the hatred for her existence. However, Laura hit Rashta for reaching out to Navier and calls her a wench in the process

Some fans use the excuse that she smirked after Laura got sentenced to 3 days imprisonment and yes while that is excessive for Laura, Rashta was a slave only a few days ago and she's been mistreated by nobles her entire life plus I don't think she's smart enough to pull off Hannibal levels of planning like that, I personally think her smirk here is meant to be more of a "that's what she gets for treating me like that." Then a "hee hee my evil plan worked!"

the rest of the comic goes the same way, Rashta is continuously portrayed as a whore who ruined Naviers life by turning her husband against her, and she's written to be hated as a pick me who won't know her place. Rashtas pretty much every part of those "other girls" in those not like other girls templates. She's girly, loves the attention, emotional, dainty, overly sweet but secretly only has ulterior motives, and in the novel, she acts extremely childish even referring to herself in 3rd person, even when she makes good points it's all intended for the reader to laugh and jeer at her.

Shes practically designed to be the pick me archetype for baddass mary sue fans to despise and she sadly only gets worse as time goes on, not just in morals and personality but also in her writting

And how is Navier perceived?

Shes endlessly perfect, everyone loves her including several different powerful men from all different countries. Even her cheating ass husband is given the cheapest redemption arc in the end just for being sorry that he cheated and realizing how much he wants her. All the characters your meant to view as good adore her and anyone who doesn't is written as the meanest bad guy on the planet worthy of death. While she isn't the worst character I've seen, the narrative tries so hard to make her more amazing that Navier looks worse as a result, such as not caring about slavery despite being described as kind and devoted to all her subjects. Ergi even says it straight to us that there will always be that invisible wall between her and the poor.

The characters we're supposed to see as good are:

Heinrey: A king who planned on going to war with Naviers country and only stopped when he fell in love with her at first sight, who also tortures and threatens anyone who even so much as inconveniences or talks shit about her all while he puts up an innocent front to appear non threatening (wonder who that sounds like)

Kaufman: A grand Duke who drugs other people with love potions which are essentially date-rape drugs and gets away with it once another woman takes the blame

Kosair: Naviers brother who violates Rashtas autonomy by slipping abortion drugs in her food and it's never talked about again.

Lebetti: One of Rashtas slave owners who still continues to harass Rashta and views anyone lower than her with contempt including her own nephew and so on

And who are the characters we are supposed to hate?

Besides Rashta and Sovieshu, the only other characters so far are Krista, the former queen of the west and her father

Ironically Krista is hated for the same reason readers supported Navier for: not wanting to replaced as queen, which isn't helped by Heinrey asserting that Navier is the one and only queen and anyone who objects will face serious consequences but they fix that by dumbing her down and blaming her for Kaufman drugging Heinrey. As for her dad, the old Duke. While he is the only man actively against Navier so far the only ways he has been punished is being told that Krista killed herself. (In the novel the old Duke does face serious consequences which involved him being murdered along with innocent people after his son attempted a hit on Navier)

But overall you get the message, most of the characters you are supposed to love are men and ladies with no personality, men who do atrocious shit yet we're supposed to look past it and conveniently the only man who is punished is an ugly bastard.

The ladies in waiting are the biggest contributors to the internalized misogyny, often they support it by insisting any new woman who shows up must be an evil whore, even Krista's ladies in waiting do this

Not like it matters though anyway since Navier basically wins most of those girls over on her side and they're never seen again

You see what I mean? Every other woman in this story has little to no character, they exist solely to push the FL up and punch down at any woman they don't like which usually consists of women that either dainty "other girls" or ironically women in a situation similar to Naviers and any woman who opposes Navier is affectly an idiot who gets girlbossed back into place. Meanwhile almost all of the men who commit absolutely horrible acts get away with it since they all essentially go awooga for Navier, with the only exception being less than conventionally attractive dudes like Krista's dad.

for fucks sake even Alan, one of Rashtas other masters who 🍇ed her, got her pregnant and participated in keeping her child away from her until she got successful is viewed as this sorrowful wittle baby who got taken advantage of by the evil Rashta and was "wrongfully" told to screw off by her. It took an episode where Alan was so unfathomably stupid to get readers to realize they shouldn't side with a rapist, and yes, while the narrative will try to push the idea that Rashta took advantage of him to raise her status and that she consented. News flash: a slave cannot consent to someone who owns them, it's like a student-teacher relationship.

Now the hypocrisy. Navier can do one thing and it's viewed as such a girlboss power move but when someone else like Rashta does something similar, it's embarrassing and pathetic. For example, Rashta is mocked by nobles mind you, for wearing an expensive and flashy wedding dress. Meanwhile Naviers wedding dress is literally weaved with thousand of gemstones

Hey, it's their words not mine.

Or how Rashta was considered evil for stealing Naviers spot as empress (even though Rashta didn't even want to be empress at first and Sovieshu gave her the offer, it's not like she held a gun to his head) but when Krista shows distress over being replaced as queen, the comments basically tell Krista to suck it up because Navier deserves it more. Everytime a man does something wrong in this story, the characters and even the readers trace it back to somehow being a woman's fault.

Readers are even encouraged to laugh at Rashta for not being able to learn as fast and eventually having a breakdown from the stress (not to mention she's also pregnant here so those hormones must be going wild)

yeah let's just blame a pregnant woman who wasn't educated in reading until a few months ago for not being able to be as smart or stoic as Navier and then crying from the stress.

finally, how this promotion of internalized misogyny affected other works. The Trashta nickname has become so popular that it is used everytime a woman who doesn't support the MC or even just inconveniences her is introduced, constantly the comments never shut up about the "new trashta." Even women who don't mean harm like Helena from kill the villainess was treated horribly because she's the "other woman" it erases any attempt at creativity in these stories and dumbs down any other woman who isn't constantly worshipping the FL as an evil bitch who needs to go.

Conclusion:The Remarried empress isn't the feminist power book with complex characters, maybe in season 1 but not anymore. Women who even think about being rude to Navier are punched down and killed if they don't change their mind while almost all the men are excused for their cruel actions because their hot guys with abs who only wanted to protect the one and only goddess Navier.

#the remarried empress #the remarried empress critical #rashta #webtoon #anti heinrey #empress navier #anti kaufman #Dear God this took forever.

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hallowpen · 2 months

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There was a lot of destructive criticism surrounding My Marvellous Dream is You, but I actually thought the series was quite good despite its shortcomings. I'm a lot more forgiving than most when it comes to Thai GL series, and that will have absolutely affected my viewing experience. But... every time I would see a comment that just read "This is boring/terrible/stupid" without ever elaborating, I felt very much like Khun Pu's character from Be My Favorite hehe

*WARNING*: There will be minor spoilers for the final episode of My Marvellous Dream is You, should that be something you wish to avoid.

I will be the first to admit, that I was very skeptical about this series in the first handful of episodes. So let's just get my personal negatives out of the way first... I think, by now, it's no secret that I do not support where a lot of Thai GL adaptations source from. So, this series already had an admittedly disadvantaged subjective expectation from the get go. It wasn't really surprising to see pacing issues within the first 5ish episodes, that seems to be a common occurrence in Thai GLs produced by IDOLfactory. Whether that is a result of the novels the series have thus far been adapted from OR from a choice in direction is up to you. I, personally, think it's a bit of both. Where I believe certain productions struggle in letting their narratives breathe, I find the complete opposite problem to be true with IDOLfactory. There were a lot of plot points that needed restructuring or to be removed entirely in order to have a stronger cohesive story that focused on the main characters' relationship more so than it did.

Now, while I stand behind my opinion that the series could have benefited from tighter and better organized storytelling, a lot of the groundwork was there to make a decent character driven narrative. And that's what I've chosen to focus on. Wan and Kim are both deeply flawed characters. There were so many inferences to be drawn from character relevant visuals and their joint backstory that truly informed their current dynamic.

The👏🏾character👏🏾focused👏🏾visuals👏🏾in👏🏾this👏🏾show!!!

One of the most interesting parts of watching a series, for me, is having to pick up on certain character cues in order to understand and delve deeper into the core of their behaviors.

Wan and Kim share a trauma, and it's easy to see how they both became so dependent on one another to fill the void their fathers left.

In flashbacks, Wan is presented as egoistic and headstrong since high school. She is also shown to be extremely protective of Kim before she even realizes her feelings. Kim, on the other hand, is a bit more sensitive. She cherishes Wan's attention and affection to a point where she would be willing to play a little dirty in order to keep it for herself.

All of these emotions become heightened once they are forced into adult life with adult problems. Wan is struggling with her mental health. While trying to balance fame and the repercussions her actions might have on her career, Wan must also deal with her mother's alcoholism... which has essentially caused her to check out from Wan's life. Her need to have Kim by her side, and never leave her, has become less protective and more possessive. Kim's desire for approval and affection has led to an over devotion of herself to Wan and constant worrying about disappointing her mother. She's neglected her own wants and needs for so long, that she's afraid putting herself first would be considered too selfish...too much like her dad. Her mother's cancer diagnosis further pushes Kim to continue to place her mother's wishes over her own desires. Even though comments about Wan and Kim being 'annoying' or 'frustrating' were aiming to be negative... they weren't exactly wrong. The audience was supposed to feel that way. Heck, even the surrounding characters called out their behavior on more than one occasion. Because in an effort to not lose one another, Kim and Wan fell into a cyclically unhealthy dynamic where their actions and reactions were actually pushing each other away. Their inability to communicate their true feelings to each other beyond their (unbeknownst) shared dreams prevented them from making any true progress toward a romantic relationship that they both so desperately wanted, but were each terribly afraid to pursue. Their feelings for each other were put up against the reality that their love being unreciprocated could spell the end of their relationship altogether. There was an added pressure of being unfairly compared to their fathers, where any romance between them might be found 'unacceptable'. Couple that with societal views of same-sex relationships, and you can understand why these two were so hesitant to reveal their truths.

(Quick sidenote: I did not agree with the idea that what Kim and Wan did was exactly the same to what their fathers did. They did not leave and abandon their families. Marwin didn't make it easy for them, and given the glimpse we saw into his family's cruelty, it made all the sense in the world to have him react in the way he did. Kim and Wan were at least willing to stay and face the hard consequences of their choice, no matter the outcome.)

I think them having to work through all of their issues made the moment of Kim and Wan finally deciding to be together that much more satisfying... And that was the point Kru A was trying to make when he explained his direction for their relationship on social media after hearing viewer feedback (He was subsequently rudely criticized by interfans for that decision, to the point where he alluded to the fact that he might take a break from directing... but that's a whole other discussion).

That final scene of them being married purposely not clarifying whether it was in a dream or in reality alluded to the fact that their shared dream world and their real life were no longer at odds, finally. I thought it was very fitting.

The frustration caused by KimWan's lack of communication reminded me of a similar dynamic between Team and Win in Between Us, a series that suffered from a lot of the same problems (not enough focus on the two leads and irrelevant plot points). However, those characters and the actors that portrayed them didn't receive even half the amount of negative reactions. They existed, trust me, but there were a lot of positive reviews to balance it out. I'm not going to get into what that means, because I think you can make the inference for yourself.

All in all, I don't think this series deserves to be completely written off. Is it perfect? No... but an effort was made, and it wouldn't hurt to make the effort in return to understand the vision. Fay and May did an incredible job for their first go around as main leads. And I hope they get the chance to develop their craft further.

#kimwan #wankim #my marvellous dream is you #dream the series #i urge anyone to give this series a fair shot before making any final judgements #koda watches gl

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sehtoast · 2 months

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Tender Threads CH3 (Homelander x OC)

chapter three: initiation

chapter directory | slow burn, hurt/comfort, fluff, spidersona as original character, original trans male character, smut, sublander

summary: time to make it official. speeches, crowds, and vought's guard dog watching his every move. better not mess up, bug boy.

Word was out by fault of a leak. Before the official announcement by Vought, news outlets had plastered Spidey over every flat surface and digital medium possible. It wasn’t the first time Ben had made international news, but it was the first time it was to a scale like this. He’s been a hot subject since becoming one of the only ‘rogue’ supes to not choose outright crime, though vigilantism was still technically illegal. But he had droves of public support and pretty much always has.

Spider-Man had been gasoline added to the fire in the debate of unlicensed heroes. He wasn’t the first, but he was certainly one of the more popular ones– though Ben could never fathom why. Within three years of first donning the mask, he found himself trending on social media on a nearly regular basis for reasons both good and bad.

Spidey Doesn’t Kill. Spider-Man Saves Victims Before The Seven.

Debates on his morals or potential lack thereof.

He’s not getting paid for it, obviously he’s doing it because he’s a good guy.

What if he’s just some sick freak that wants an excuse to beat up on people?

It was… a lot.

But it’s never been anything like this. At least the outrage of the handful of exceptionally vocal few was satisfying. Especially that weird guy that runs The Bugle.

Ben was given a script for his formal introduction. Vought was going all out. A stage, cameras, a massive crowd…

It was fucking scary.

He’d met Stillwell a week prior. Just do it the way Homelander does, she’d said to him. As if it were that easy. As if his entire life wasn’t just upended by both the world’s most powerful supe and conglomerate.

So here he stands, just a few blocks away from the stage in Central Park. Waiting for his little queue.

He can hear her over the loudspeaker. Insincerity and public posturing dripping from her voice like venom.

Ben hates these types. He’s dealt with them a lot in his job– well, old job– and something about her was so… wrong. The way she smiled at him when he lifted the pen from his contract, name forever etched, soul forever sold. Maybe it was how soothing she tries to be. Soft voice, gentle eyes, even though behind it all is just another soulless little–

“I am so thrilled to present to you,” she says, voice bouncing off buildings and into Benjamin’s ears.

His queue to jump, to dive low and arc high.

“The newest member of The Seven–”

Go, go, go! Drag line– zip– push off the wall– dive, momentum, go for the spectacle! Razzle dazzle ‘em, Ben! C’mon, Stillwell! Say it! Say the fucking line!

“The Amazing Spider-Man!”

Just as the words fly off her tongue, Ben comes into full view of the crowd. Cheers erupt like deafening thunder, seemingly drowning out the city. He peers down as gravity corrects his display of performative agility, sending him on a dive toward the stage.

A zipline to the rafters is all he needs to stick the landing, a quick handstand to add that pizzazz that was demanded from him, and a web from which to dangle upside down as he waved like the good little performer he was.

It wasn’t without its own beauty. Even upside down those signs were clear as day.

We Love You Spidey!

You Saved Us!

NY ♥️s Spidey!

The cheers, the kids in shifty little homemade costumes, his signature hand gesture that releases his webbing being held high by thousands...

Even in the air, he couldn’t see the end of the crowd.

But there’s no time for his brain to blue-screen like this, especially not when Stillwell all but grabs him and directs him to the podium.

Oh fuck, public speaking. Christ, Ben thinks to himself, okay, imagine them all in their underwear…

The roar of the crowd silences in mere seconds as they wait for him to speak.

Thank god for the mask. And the podium… fuck, are my legs shaking?

“Hi, everyone.” Ben begins, clearing his throat awkwardly. He had a lot to nail here. Poise, confidence, and whatever else was gonna help make supes look competent enough to belong in that defense bill. Yeah, Stillwell made sure he knew not to fuck up their future as Lockheed Martin’s biggest competitor.

One step out of line could be catastrophic.

“I just… I wanna start by thanking everyone, y’know? Everyone here, out there, friends, family… the whole shebang.” He starts, letting the thunderous applause run its course before moving on. “But most importantly, I want to thank Vought for giving me this chance–”

Gag, gag, gag! This is horrible! Ben thinks to himself as he runs his script. Part way through some babble about small beginnings, he notices a flash of red and white behind the proscenium wall of the stage.

Homelander’s here?

“I’m just so incredibly grateful to be standing here today, y’know? I hope I make you folks proud. Thank you,” oh christ, here we go with the raw corporate vomit, “and god bless America!”

Blegh.

Ben takes the slightest step away from the podium, and it’s like a jet engine firing up right in the middle of the park. Screams and cheers, applause and all sorts of noise making doohickeys. Beside him, Stillwell ceases her own claps to gently guide him from the podium. Then, the noise explodes.

Whatever fanfare was for Spidey becomes infinitely louder when those colors sway out from behind the wall.

“Oh, no! Hey, you guys!” Homelander shouts to the masses, his smile wide and happy as he makes his way to the microphone. He claps a hand against Ben’s shoulder and pulls him back to the podium to stand with him. “C’mon, let’s hear it for Spider-Man, eh?”

Homelander leans in as the deafening uproar picks back up. “Bet’cha don’t get that as a vigilante, huh?”

Then, as the noise dies down, Homelander begins his own performance.

“I, for one, am incredibly glad to have this fella join our team. It’s unfortunate that Translucent was injured so badly by an unknown enemy during his last mission, and I swear to God that we’ll find whoever is responsible and bring them to justice!” Homelander pauses. “But, I know that Spidey here will bring his own incredible qualities to our team, and I very much look forward to working with him, and the rest of The Seven, to keep our country, and world, safe!”

Perfectly impassioned. Voice strong, tone bold but somber for his incapacitated friend. Humble and domineering, but worthy of adoration.

He’s one hell of a spectacle up close.

Homelander’s arm slings around Ben’s shoulders, indicating that he, too, should wave to the masses. He was showing the world how friendly they are with one another despite the real deal behind the scenes. Despite what he’d said and done to the bug.

Benjamin wasn’t going on a patrol tonight. No, no… after today, all he wants to do is curl up and hibernate. Maybe it was all of the dread and anxiety for his big reveal day that had weighed him down, but he felt so heavy. There was no way he’d be able to resist a nap on a rooftop at this rate.

Besides, this was probably one of the last times he’d ever sleep a full night here. Well, most of a full night, given his sixth sense’s tendency to rouse him at odd intervals.

Vought was moving him in. Sure he could keep the apartment, but what was the point? All of his things were going to be transferred by Vought’s moving services, so all he really had to do was pack everything up even though he technically didn't actually have to– the moving team would handle everything. Not that there was much he could have in a studio apartment, but…

He’d gotten as far as boxing up his clothes, but everything else was still as is.

Instead of doing more, though, he just grabs that same guitar whose strings Homelander nearly broke, lays back, and picks a melody until drowsiness turns to pure exhaustion.

Unaware of the eyes watching him through the walls.

The boy was… a curious thing. Obligation had turned to fascination, fascination became fixation, and fixation became obsession a little too quickly for his liking. But that didn’t stop Homelander from continuing with his observations.

It never does.

He was almost grateful that killing the bug was off the table completely. Had he done so in that alley, he wouldn’t be here now, being practically serenaded– well, all except for some singing that Benjamin has yet to unknowingly perform for him. Everything he’d seen over the last few weeks had driven him insane.

Why in the hell would such an extraordinary supe choose this? The mundane, the boring, the simple.

The mud.

He could have been so much more so long ago! And Vought? Vought waited this long to pursue and sign him? What a fucking joke! Homelander would’ve taken him over Starlight in a second had they pitched him earlier. He supposes, though, that it was because they had been taking formal auditions back then…

But what a specimen this Benjamin was turning out to be. So bold, yet so timid. So happy and sad all at once. Human, yet impeccably super. And so very fun to watch live his boring little life. Homelander will almost miss watching the web-head scramble to make it to work on time, swinging around the city in his cheap dress shirt, spider suit stuffed in a backpack, and then doing that stupid job as a… oh, what was it..? Some kind of tech bullshit, whatever it was.

Suffice it to say, it’ll be magnificent with the bug living in the same building soon. Easier to observe that way.

#homelander #homelander x oc #homelander fanfiction #homelander x reader #the boys #the boys fanfic #antony starr #homelander x you #the benlander agenda

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spaceprinceencie · 11 months

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I think about Nagito’s death at the end of SDR2 a lot. There’s so much symbolism and meaning in it. His death reflects a lot of the other deaths from the first game, which is a cool easter egg, but the meaning of that also kind of blows my mind.

The symbolism of how he’s embodying so much of the despair from the first game, compiled into a single death. How he’s depending on his luck to burn out every last ounce of despair from this death game, while also embodying every ounce from the last one at the same time. He - intentionally/consciously or not - is embodying as much despair as he can so he can burn it all away and bring hope.

But most recently I’ve also been thinking a lot about the spear.

Because there’s two major ways you can interpret Nagito’s luck cycle: either luck is a real supernatural force that exists in the DR universe, or Nagito is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Personally, I do think it’s hard to argue that everything that happens to Nagito throughout the series is totally unrelated to some greater supernatural force. But I also think it’s so tragic to think of his luck cycle as just a bunch of psychological tricks. So a little bit of this is a “what if”: even if it’s not the most likely explanation, there is a way of arguing for it and I think that’s interesting. He believes with all his heart that he’s cursed by this luck cycle. That good and bad will happen to him in extremes, in waves. Confirmation bias tells us he’ll pick out that pattern easily, searching for evidence that supports his understanding of the world, and then presenting what is essentially cherry-picked evidence to other characters. Which is often what we see of his luck cycle: the narrative he has constructed. Then, throw in how he’d subconsciously make decisions and put himself in situations that further supports his view of himself and the world. He might purposefully put himself in precarious positions when he thinks there’s bad luck due. He might do something like hang a spear above his own head. That act, metaphorical or literal, is then, also sort of his essence, isn’t it? Nagito hangs spears above him, poised to kill him, and waits for his luck - real or not - to use them. And when the spear falls, because if you keep hanging spears above your head eventually they’ll fall, he calls it intentional and purposeful. He calls it part of his luck cycle. But how much of it is really luck, and how much of it is that he’s just hanging spears and waiting? How much of it is that he really believes he deserves bad luck or pain or hurt? Honestly, we don’t know exactly if the poison killed him before the spear did. We can certainly assume it did, since Monokuma rules Nanami the killer, and because the spear was supposedly released upon Nagito’s death (and the nature of the poison). However, I think there’s enough doubt in there to argue that, even if its unlikely, the spear did kill him. Monokuma could’ve lied, there was no one and no way to prove him wrong after all. The poison could’ve weakened Nagito just enough that he wasn’t dead until the spear impaled him.

Just, think of the potential symbolism of the fact that we can only assume- based on incomplete and biased observations - that the poison killed him. That Nagito’s luck killed him. From that biased assumption, we are led to believe his luck is cyclic and intentional. Just like everything Nagito does and says could be seen as a biased presentation of evidence that leads us to the same conclusions. But realistically we can also assume that Nagito just killed himself by hanging a spear over himself and waiting. We can also assume Nagito's luck isn't as drastic as he claims. What if, in reality, he just keeps hanging spears above him and waiting, maybe even hoping, they fall?

#danganronpa #sdr2 #nagito komaeda #danganronpa 2 #character analysis #theory post #sort of? idk if this counts #i'm just Thinkin you know?#i like making plausible theories that make my favorite media even more tragic than it is #or writing plausible interpretations i suppose #send me asks about this if u want im always down to talk analysis #long post

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goggles-mcgee · 4 months

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Ashes of Rage: Act 1 - (Heart)Breaking News

Chapter 6 of the story for @miner249er

A03 Beginnning Last Chapter

Summary: It was supposed to be a nice day, a nice picnic, a nice distraction...but it didn't happen like that and Rose didn't know how to process it.

Notes: Hope you enjoy the read! Also, sorry for the late update but my job, idk if I told y'all, I got a new job! I work for my state's child support services division and can't really work on personal things while in the office so this did take some time.

Also like small disclosure, I did do research but I in no way think what I got was 100% so take the actions of the police with a grain of salt. ^u^

(Heart)Breaking News:

Confused. Betrayed. Angry. These were all words that described how Rose had been feeling lately and yet she pushed herself to attend the class picnic with Juleka. It hardly even compared to past picnics they had had in the past. The usual soft, pillow-y blanket was replaced by a blanket so thin that the still present morning dew that draped over the prickly blades of grass stabbed through the fabric easily and brought a chill to her legs and an itchiness that seemed never ending. It was irritating but Rose didn’t want to say anything and make Kim feel bad since he was the one to bring said blanket. Plus it would have most likely broken the tentative good mood everyone was in. She was doing her best to stay the happy-go-lucky Rose that everyone expected her to be but it was getting harder and harder to do so as the days went by. Even her appetite had been affected by her mood, she just simply wasn’t hungry which made her want to cry. She tried her best to eat because when she was sick she hadn’t gotten to eat a lot of food like she was able to do now but looking around at the food that laid on the blanket there just wasn’t anything that looked nor sounded good.

The food from her memories of past picnics danced around her thoughts and mocked her. The food from those times had been homemade and filled her with such warmth and joy even if something hadn’t been the best tasting. But today everything was store bought, not that there was anything wrong with that! There was just something about everyone bringing something homemade to past picnics that made this one feel lacking. Rose simply couldn’t help the way her stomach clenched and mouth watered remembering the food from the past but it would quickly die when she remembered that was when Marinette had been part of the group. She always encouraged everyone to bring something homemade without even outright asking for it. It was like knowing that she herself would make something for the picnic and not just ask her parents to give her something, motivated everyone else to do the same. And the smile she had given to everyone when she saw what they brought seemed to make the sun shine brighter those days. Then things changed abruptly and Rose had questioned whether those smiles were real or an illusion as Lila had mused aloud about. It scared her to think someone could be so manipulative. Her views changed once more when she watched Nadja’s broadcast.

The speculation that Marinette had…that she had died that night…hit particularly hard. All Rose could think about was every instance that the pig-tailed girl had been there for her and the rest of the class. She thought of all the laughs they shared and even tears. Marinette was always there and hearing the news was like a slap to the face. How could Rose ever think that Marinette was anything but genuine? How could the class think that? But then that would mean Lila had lied or just severely misunderstood something and everyone just believed it and turned on their friend. Rose couldn’t even remember the last thing she had ever said to Marinette but it was more than likely nothing nice since she had believed the girl to be a bully. That thought made her appetite really disappear and her stomach clench. She was sure everyone else was thinking similar things so really it would be cruel to expect homemade food at a time like this. The weather that had once been predicted to be sunny and cloud free was still sunny but a biting wind had plagued the day every now and then. So things looked well and good but it hid small disappointments all throughout.

It reminded Rose of those true crime documentaries that Juleka loved to binge. The families tended to have a pattern in the one's she watched, where on the outside they seemed like the perfect family with the perfect life but behind closed doors they were anything but. It reminded her of the situation the class was in. Except most had well and truly believed in the perfection others perceived them to have. It would have been extremely ignorant of Rose to say she didn't notice how the rest of the school looked at her class in envy, because she did and she tried her best not to show how pleased that made her. She never wanted to come across as entitled or anything of the like, she knew their situation had been a rare one. Where everyone in class got along, with the exception of Chloe and Sabrina in the beginning, and their teacher was nice and kind. They had the picture perfect class.

Until they didn’t.

Oh they still acted like it was, Rose was mature enough to admit that, because everyone wanted that envy and that admiration their class was accustomed to. She recalled how Lila wanted to warn the other students in different classes about Marinette’s ‘true’ self but somehow Alya and Max had talked her out of it. She knew Lila hadn’t been happy about that so the girl group decided to take her out for lunch as what could only be described as a bribe the more Rose thought about it. It made her throat dry in guilt and shame. She hastily grabbed her cup of lemonade and took a big drink and nearly choked at the speed she did so. She managed to refrain from coughing and hoped no one noticed her little slip up. Thankfully it seemed like no one had so she took the time to look over at her friends. Alya and Nino were setting up her tablet as the police were going to be giving a statement on everything, Max and Alix were playing some kind of switch game together with Markov giving advice. Mylène, Ivan and Sabrina were snacking on the food and talking about something. Kim was laid out next to the blanket staring at his phone, and Juleka was listening to music in one ear.

It was then that Rose remembered she was also listening to music and it was like the realization broke the dam on her hearing and everything came alive around her. She did her best not to wince at the guitar solo that started off in a high pitch since she didn’t want Juleka to think she didn’t like the song. She did her best to be as nonchalant as possible as she took the earphone she had in out, she was more of a headphone person since earphones tended to hurt the inside of her ears if she wore them too long. Juleka knew that which is why she didn’t look upset when she noticed Rose taking out the earphone. “How’s your ear? The song wasn’t that long was it?”

“Don’t worry Jules, the song was great. I’m just a little thirsty. I finished my lemonade so fast…” Rose lied and was grateful that Juleka seemed to buy it.

“That’s a quick fix.” Juleka mumbled with a small smile as she stood up and went to get Rose a refill of lemonade. Rose tried her best not to think of how Marinette would bring the customized cups she made for everyone to a picnic. They were paper cups that she printed designs on and bought each one in bulk. It always made Rose feel special when she would get her pink and purple kittens printed cup with her name in a beautiful cursive old font. Today’s cups were plastic with their names written on them in permanent marker. It was still cursive, Juleka had wonderful cursive and did her very best to make it look nice so Rose felt bad about the disappointment that swelled in her every time she saw the cups. She did her best to not let it show when Juleka turned with a smile to give her her drink.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

The lemonade Juleka got her was the perfect blend of sour and sweet and yet she couldn’t enjoy it. Even though it was her favorite lemonade, one that Alix made sure to bring because her friend knew it was her favorite. Rose wanted to cry. But she couldn’t, not now, she felt like she didn’t deserve to. All of them, everyone here was trying to be as normal as possible in the light of their revelations. No one said it out loud but Rose was sure that they all came to the realization that they had made a big mistake. More than a big mistake but none of them knew how to voice it nor accept it nor move past it. They were stuck in some messed up limbo. Marinette was…dead. There was no other reality, a person they had been good friends with then broke that friendship was dead. Rose didn’t know if they all felt like her though, like they didn’t deserve to cry over Marinette being gone because they weren’t friends with the girl when she died. It was depressing.

Worst of all no one could get a hold of Lila. Maybe she felt bad for the misunderstanding that drove the class, minus Nathaniel and Chloe, away from Marinette. Lila was so kind and thoughtful that Rose had no doubt that the girl was probably drowning herself in some kind of misplaced guilt and Rose’s heart broke more at the image her mind conjured of an alone Lila crying nonstop and apologizing to a photo of Marinette. Though, thinking of it, Lila probably only had a photo of their latest class picture that had Marinette in it. The thought was sad all the same and Rose wished once more that the class had been able to get ahold of Lila. She felt like the girl could have used a picnic like today to unwind and see how everyone supported her and were there for her. Even if the picnic felt off to Rose, maybe it would have been the thing that helped Lila feel better and come back to school.

“What seems to be the matter Kim?” Max’s question got Rose and almost everyone’s attention. It was then that Rose realized just how quiet the usually boisterous boy had been all day. It made her somehow feel worse.

Kim sighed loudly and rolled onto his back, “Ondine hasn’t been answering my texts, calls, ChatSnaps, Rapidgrams, basically anything and everything that I thought I could use to try and talk to her. She’s been mad for a while now and I don’t know why.”

“Did you guys fight recently?” Rose asked.

A sigh once again. “That seems to be the only time we talked but that was like two months ago! She said she wanted a break and wanted, no needed, time away from me.”

“...Well, if she said she needs time, Kim. then…” Nino awkwardly pointed out.

“But how much time? It’s been ages!” Kim whined and while a part of Rose felt sorry for him, another part felt for Ondine. Maybe it was like some weird female sense or something but Rose understood that when a girl says she needs time, she needs more than a few days. Kim had always been impatient but he clearly needed his friends’ comfort.

“Well,” Juleka hedged, “how bad was the fight?”

By the wince Kim gave, it was bad and all the girls in the group looked at each other. It seemed like they all came to a consensus because they all gave Kim sad looks. “Did you maybe misunderstand her? Did she really say she wanted a break or did she say you guys were broken up?” Alya asked carefully.

“No! I mean, I don’t think she really meant broken up. I know we have been fighting and everything but Ondine and I always make up.” Even though he said that, Kim didn’t look too sure.

“What were you guys fighting about anyways?” Alix asked lazily from where she laid out across the blanket. Rose wished the skater had been looking at her because she would have at least seen Rose’s glare to pipe down. She had done her absolute best not to ruin the peace, even when she hadn’t been paying all that much attention, then Alix went and ruined it!

Wait.

No.

No. Rose couldn’t think like that. They were all in this together so they had to stick together. She sent a silent apology towards Alix for her somewhat unkind thoughts. It did truly feel like they were only in this weird situation together. Rose had kind of thought that they would be getting some sympathy from the other classes or at the very least, Mme Mendeleiev’s seeing as Kim and Ondine were dating. Plus Marc was in that class and Nathaniel and him were friends, but that class had been sending them looks… Rose didn’t know why and she hoped it had nothing to do with Kim and Ondine’s fight, but a part of her felt like that had nothing to do with it. The rest of the school also sent them looks, but there were also the constant whispers that went on around them and were more than likely about them, but no one had come up to them to say anything. It felt like everyone was mad at them, but Rose couldn’t understand why. Though she knew it would come to a head one day, she dreaded that.

“We were just fighting about-” Kim had started but abruptly stopped before Alya and Nino shushed him and waved everyone towards them. The volume of Alya’s tablet increased dramatically so they could all hear presumably the police statement that the reporter had been impatiently waiting for. They didn’t get to hear the introduction but that was fine, Alya had probably started screen-recording already. They all tried to catch a view of the live broadcast on the screen, it seemed like they were filming in front of City Hall.

“...Before we get into the details we would like to warn that the details and evidence we bring forth is not for the faint-hearted. As everyone knows we have been investigating the destruction of the Agreste Mansion, and whether it was a planned attack or an akuma. We have ruled out the involvement of an akuma, but it was also not a planned attack.” Everyone could hear the deep breath the officer took. “Again, it was not a planned attack. We don’t know exactly what happened but with evidence we have gathered, we can make a pretty good guess.”

“We were working under the assumption that this was an attack on the Agreste family and thus were doing everything we possibly could to bring them justice. During our investigation, we happened upon the security cameras that had their footage backed up, thankfully. It was as we were reviewing the footage that we found…the disturbing truth. This will shock many and maybe many won’t believe us but we have provided some of the footage for this announcement and will be shared with the media.” Everyone waited with bated breaths. Rose felt like she had stopped breathing all together.

“Gabriel Agreste…Gabriel Agreste was Hawkmoth.” The officer stuttered out and by the roar of sound by all her friends and fellow park goers they hadn’t missed a word he said.

“No…No he couldn’t…I know the dude was a dick and a half but there’s no way he was Hawkmoth.” Nino said in disbelief.

“I know this is upsetting and … shocking but I promise you will get your proof afterward. Nathalie Sancoeur was his accomplice. She was Mayura.”

“I mean if Mister Agreste was Hawkmoth then that would kind of make sense.” Alix muttered.

“And Adrien Agreste…”

“No. There’s no way my bro was involved! If that’s what he’s implying then we know it’s bogus!” Nino yelled out as he stood up and paced.

Rose silently agreed. There was no way Adrien could be involved, he was a shy boy but overall very nice. They never hung out one on one but he was always very kind to Rose and she had seen him try and talk some sense into Marinette in the beginning of the whole ‘Lila is a liar’ thing. She admired his determination to try and get Marinette to see reason and his unwavering faith in Lila. It was one of the many reasons why she thought they’d be a good couple. At least Lila could talk to Adrien and be around him without becoming a mess. She felt bad thinking that but it was the truth and it had been so frustrating that everyone of the girl group’s plan to make Adrienette happen crashed and burned because Marinette couldn’t do something. But Adrien always handled the situations with grace and a lot of patience so again, there was no way that Adrien knew or had anything to do with his father’s crimes. No way at all.

“Adrien Agreste was Chat Noir. Before you cheer or sigh in relief, let me be frank. Chat Noir is now believed to have been a ruse to lure Ladybug into a false sense of security and give her trust to who she believed to be her partner.”

The roar of denial and betrayal shook Rose and she couldn’t even be sure if she had joined in. It felt like she was in daze, in a haze, just completely adrift in what they were hearing. She both wanted to and didn’t want to listen anymore. She didn’t want to believe what she had heard but at the same time she felt a burning need to know everything.

“He lured her to the Agreste Mansion, it seems, in a false drop on Gabriel Agreste, who, as we said, was operating as Hawkmoth. The tables turned quickly and…” The officer’s eyes looked glossy but his face was red in what could only be, barely contained anger. “Ladybug’s earrings were taken. She was…she was struck by Chat Noir and taunted from the looks of it as we were not able to get audio from the security videos. Then…then something happened.”

He paused. “If any children are watching this I beg the parents to either turn it off or make sure the children do not hear.”

For a city as noisy and chaotic as Paris tended to be, it seemed like everyone was quiet and holding their breath like Rose was.

“What we believe happened, is that Ladybug, in a last ditch effort to save us all…sa-sacrificed herself in a way we can not explain. With a scream of rage the screen turned red and then nothing, but at the scene we found evidence of this sacrifice. A sizeable puddle of charred blood and pieces of burnt clothing. Furthermore, we now have an identification of Ladybug and it is with a reluctant and heavy heart that we share this with you all. But we have been given permission by her family to share.”

Rose tasted blood, she hadn’t even noticed she had been biting her lip in anticipation.

“Ladybug was a child, a child who without hesitation protected us time and time again, up until her last moments. Her parents felt like it would disrespect everything he had done for us to not share her name. This girl was none other than our very own, Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

Marinette…Dupain-Cheng.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

MARINETTE DUPAIN-CHENG!

Rose missed probably the rest of the announcement but the ending…the ending had her snapping back to focus so fast that if mental whiplash was a thing, she knew she would have it.

“..And it seems like Gabriel had more help than previously thought. One guaranteed individual we know of is a minor so we will not be giving her name. With that being said, if anyone has any information of the whereabouts of Giada Rossi and her daughter, please contact us. Thank you.”

Rose was…everything at once yet numb somehow. She didn’t know how to react or if she even should react. But it seemed like someone did as she heard angry footsteps approaching their group, they were purposeful so there was no mistaking where they were heading. Rose turned to see who it was, partially hoping it was Lila to tell them it was a misunderstanding and she had an explanation that would somehow magically fix everything, but no, it was Ondine. Ondine and Mireille and Aurore and what looked to be all of Mendeleiev’s class plus a couple others from other classes. Rose distantly watched as Kim scrambled to get up and run towards Ondine with a teary smile on his face but something was wrong. Wrong, wrong , wrong.

The resounding slap that came next confirmed her thoughts and with the way it snapped her out of said thoughts, you would think she had been the one who had been slapped.

Everyone was still. All they could do was stand and stare at the sight of Kim’s cheek turning red from the harsh slap he had received from Ondine. Then it was like a dam burst and everyone started shouting at one another, some were even getting into the faces of those who had just arrived. It was awful and scary and Rose hated every second of it. Rose would bet things would have turned physical if it weren’t for Markov being present, it was well known he recorded whenever he felt like Max was in trouble. It had caused some issues with the school. Rose had never been more grateful for Markov’s presence than that moment as it provided a distraction for Rose to grab Juleka’s hand and run away. It was cowardly perhaps, maybe she should have stayed and defended Kim. Maybe she should have been a silent support for those trying to get answers from an angry Ondine and the rest of those who arrived with her. Maybe she should have asked why they were mad.

There were so many ‘maybes’ that it was overwhelming and that was a big part of why she ran. Rose simply was overwhelmed and her brain felt fried with all the information they heard from the conference and the events that followed. She needed a safe space to digest it all and calm down. Luckily for her, the Liberty was parked close by and it was somewhere she wholeheartedly considered a safe space, plus she thought it would help Juleka, who’s rapid heartbeat she could feel beneath her fingers wrapped around the goth girl’s wrist. She only stopped her run once they were aboard and then she was finally able to stop and breathe. She had just caught her breath when she heard footsteps and noticed Luka making his way towards them.

She sighed in relief at the sight of him, knowing he could provide comfort to Juleka and herself. She smiled at him but that smile quickly fell once she saw the look on his face. Luka was a chill guy through and through so it was pretty rare to see him mad. The boy marched towards them with purpose and it startled Rose so much that she instinctively took a step back. Then the yelling started and Rose couldn’t handle everything anymore. She felt bad for just letting Luka yell at Juleka but she could feel herself zoning out as she tended to do when she heard fighting.

It was an old coping mechanism of hers.

At first the yelling was all she heard, then it dulled to an unpleasant buzzing.

She hated the buzzing.

But she hated the sound of yelling and fighting more.

Her last coherent thought before she drifted too far was, ‘ Why was this happening? ’

Next Chapter

#mldc #mldccrossover #ml x dc #ml class salt #ml salt fic #ml red lantern au #red lantern Marinette #adrien agreste salt #gabriel agreste salt #lila rossi salt #mldccrossover akuma class #mldccrossover Rose Lavillant #mldccrossover Juleka Couffaine #mldccrossover Alya Cesaire #mldccrossover Nino Lahiffe #hurt no comfort

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withthewindinherfootsteps · 12 days

Text

Nie Huaisang and the Morality of Revenge

(Greatly expanded AO3 version here – I would definitely recommend that one more, but it's a little long for a tumblr meta)

"Take revenge on the ones who bite you. Wen Ning’s branch doesn’t have much blood on their hands."

There's a clear pattern as to how revenge is presented in MDZS. Though revenge against the ones who wronged you (or those close to you) isn't something you're morally obliged to do, it isn't condemned, and tends to be presented in the right. Revenge against innocents, however – that's where you draw the line.

All of which leaves Nie Huaisang in a very interesting position. Because though his target is the person directly responsible for his brother's death... those he's willing to harm to achieve that goal are not.

Vengeance in MDZS

MXTX: If you were to ask Wifi as to why he did not reveal [Nie Huaisang's] mask, it’s because there wasn’t enough evidence, there wasn’t a way to catch his tail (...) there was no way to punish him, because his reasons were righteous. - MXTX interview, translation here – 'Wifi' refers to Wei Wuxian

Now, it's one thing to say revenge is presented as right, and it's another thing to prove it. Why do I think this, and what material is there to support this in the actual text?

One major piece of evidence is Wei Wuxian himself.

If he were Chang Ping, he wouldn’t have cared how prominent or powerful the LanlingJin Sect was, or how much glory the road ahead offered him, and he wouldn’t have let the matter [of his clan being murdered] go. Instead, he would’ve went to the dungeons on his own, cut Xue Yang up so that he was nothing more than a puddle of flesh on the ground, and summoned his soul back to repeat the process to the point that he regretted ever being born in this world. - Chapter 33, EXR translation

This is something that Wei Wuxian thinks in the present day – not under pressure, not in the aftermath of anything traumatic. And the important thing is that it's never questioned. There isn't a moment where Wei Wuxian or anybody else dwells on this and thinks/says 'maybe I shouldn't keep retaliating like this' or 'will harming more people after their actions have already been taken actually fix anything, or just cause more damage?'. It's also never framed as a tragedy that these views don't change. There is a moment of thinking his past self went too far with his vengeance, but look at the context:

And for every one of the Wen Sect’s cultivators whom he killed, he made them into puppets as well before controlling them to kill the friends and family they had before they died. (...) Not only others, even when he, himself, thought about it afterward, he felt that he had done a bit too much. - Chapter 60, EXR translation

Killing their friends and family – yes, this is a war between clans (people with blood ties to each other)/sects (in which you spend most of your time around fellow members), so it's likely many of these are on the battlefield... but do we know this is the case for everyone? We know there are people and branches of the Wen sect who are noncombatants, and we know outer disciples exist, whose families may or may not be affiliated with the sect in some way. We also know resentful corpses can seek out, recognise and target people due to their bloodline without direct control (see Nie Mingjue finding Jin Guangyao and then targeting Jin Ling in Hatred and Concealment), so seeking out family members outside of the battlefield is possible. Out of the potentially thousands of people Wei Wuxian killed in this way, is it really that probable that every single one was guilty?

This is what I believe 'done a bit too much' means – targetting people who may or may not have been directly involved in action against Wei Wuxian/the allied sects.

There are also other instances of vengeance, directly against the ones who harmed you, being framed as justified (resurrecting Wen Ning to kill the inspectors that killed him, for example); as well as instances that aren't exactly vengeance but are still linked to punishing somebody for their bad deeds (seen a lot with Xue Yang – eg Xiao Xingchen demanding "severe punishment" for what Xue Yang did to the Chang clan in Chapter 30*, Wei Wuxian's "Xue Yang must die" after witnessing the Yi City flashbacks in Chapter 41), also framed this way.

But, first, a clarification.

MDZS may not condemn vengeance, but it does condemn holding onto resentment and letting it twist you, particularly when it leads to the harming of other people. And this is something important to note about Wei Wuxian's character, as well – he is quick to vengeance and retaliation, but that's exactly the point. He does the deed and then doesn't hold onto those feelings (under normal circumstances), instead carrying on to live his life with his adherence to his moral code unaltered**. See the Second Siege – a lot of these people directly contributed to the first siege on him, but he doesn't hold onto his resentment and decide not to save them as a result. Instead, he and Lan Wangji work to save them as well as the Juniors at great personal risk to themselves. That's why most of his actions are justified by the narrative, and why the two times he does act based on feelings of resentment he holds (Sunshot Campaign in the above quote, and Nightless City***), his actions aren't.

Back to vengeance itself.

Of course, vengeance is not presented as the only course of action! Lan Wangji doesn't do anything to avenge Wei Wuxian's death, instead focusing his energy on helping people and on teaching the younger generation to avoid the mistakes his made, and he's all the better for it. The line immediately following Wei Wuxian's thoughts on Chang Ping and Xue Yang is this:

But, not everyone was like him[.]

Which is followed by understanding for Chang Ping's situation, especially taking into account the fact that "some of the Chang clan's people were still alive" and may have been casualities if vengeance was carried out. Revenge isn't something you're obliged to do – and when the alternative is protecting others, is arguably less important. But, in itself, it isn't a moral wrong. As someone I talked to about writing this meta said, it's often the only way to bring someone who has done bad deeds to justice (which the story supports: see my earlier points about Xue Yang, as well as MXTX saying Xue Yang "deserved to be beaten by the protagonist") in a society which often leaves bad deeds unpunished and good deeds condemned.

(Of course you're allowed to disagree with this view of vengeance and punishment – I do myself – but that's what I believe to be the story's view on the matter.)

When it does become a moral wrong is when it targets innocent people.

Going Too Far?

As we've discussed, there two scenarios where revenge is presented as in wrong: the above, and being corrupted by the resentment you hold due to continously seeking your vengeance. And more often than not, these scenarios are strongly tied to each other. The sects targeting the Wen remnants after the Sunshot Campaign is an example of the former, as is Xue Yang's murder of the Chang clan; Nie Mingjue's single-minded hatred of Jin Guangyao is a clear example of the latter. Even if Jin Guangyao did do the actions Nie Mingjue had hated him for (and he did!), the resentment Nie Mingjue carried due to this eventually led to his death (through its amplification by the Collection of Turmoil). We also have a reversal of scenario two with Jin Ling's arc of learning to let go of his hatred, which deserves its own post.

But even in the above, there are traces of the other problem. Were the sects not blinded by their resentment and prejudice against anyone with a Wen name? Did Xue Yang's experience with Chang Ci'an and the injustice/resentment he felt from that not negatively impact him? And did Nie Mingjue's anger at Jin Guangyao (even if it was supernaturally amplified) not lead him to lash out at Nie Huaisang, an innocent in this scenario? And other scenarios are even more intertwined with both, for example Jiang Cheng pursuing ghost/demonic cultivators after Wei Wuxian's death (scenario 1) due to his hatred and resentment (scenario 2).

This relationship is very interesting, since it leads to the idea that holding onto resentment does make you more likely to target innocent people – ie, it often leads to loss of critical thinking, something else that's strongly condemned in the novel (as the force behind mob mentality, etc). It's also eerily similar to people's ideas of what practicing guidao, aka cultivation using resentful energy, does to you ("damag[ing] your heart" – LWJ, Chapter 62)... as well as to the loss of discernment that occurs both times Wei Wuxian loses control of his cultivation (Wen Ning accidentally targeting Jin Zixuan, the corpses accidentally targeting Jiang Yanli)****!

As for why this sort of vengeance is presented as wrong, I think it's pretty obvious – it harms innocent people as well as yourself. There isn't really any good in that.

Nie Huaisang In Context

So, with all that said... let's finally look at Nie Huaisang.

As MXTX has said, she believes his reasons were justified. His aim wasn't to take revenge on innocents, which avoids scenario one (in motives, at least). Whether or not Nie Huaisang was 'corrupted' due to resentment he felt is a little harder to judge***** – we don't really know his inner workings before Nie Mingjue is killed, so we don't know his moral code or what he's willing to do before then. We're also not there for the vast majority of his planning, so we don't know how he changed during that period, and by the time we're in the story proper, his mask is too good to really discern anything about his attitude... and we don't see much of him afterwards, either, the only thing being him starting to his more competent side when organising the coffin sealing ceremony. So we'll leave scenario two as an unknown, and not comment – however, it should be noted that vengeance doesn't seem to affect Nie Huaisang's critical thinking.

But what's unique about his vengeance isn't motives, direct targets, or the effect it has on him. It's something we haven't really seen before – the effect on those who weren't his targets, but were still heavily harmed. In other words, collaterals.

The most obvious example is probably Mo Xuanyu:

Perhaps to gain information from Mo XuanYu, Nie HuaiSang talked to him once. From Mo XuanYu’s grievances, he knew that Mo XuanYu had once read the fragmented manuscript that recorded an ancient, forbidden technique in Jin GuangYao’s collection. He then urged Mo XuanYu, who had had enough of the humiliation coming from his own clan members, to seek revenge using the forbidden technique of body sacrifice. - Chapter 109, EXR translation

Was Mo Xuanyu a direct target, someone who Nie Huaisang knew was innocent yet decided to take vengeance on anyway? No. But was he provided an avenue to and motive for suicide by Nie Huaisang, as part of his plan to take revenge on someone else? Yes! And Mo Xuanyu isn't the only death Nie Huaisang had a hand in causing – perhaps his is even the least direct. After all, he was responsible for releasing the hand at Mo Manor as well, leading to the deaths of four people (the Mo family and A-Tong) and endangering many more (the junior disciples, the rest of the household's servants). Yes, this wasn't his aim – he wanted Wei Wuxian to subdue it and start investigating the case – but he knowingly endangered everyone while doing so, and in the end the hand was subdued as quickly as it was by Lan Wangji's involvement, who he couldn't have known was there!

There's also the case of luring the Juniors to Yi City, purely to place more blame on Jin Guangyao if they'd died there! That isn't even necessary to taking down Jin Guangyao and figuring out the case of the corpse, as resurrecting Wei Wuxian and releasing the hand arguably were (Nie Huaisang could've tried to expose Jin Guangyao earlier, but we don't know which way public opinion would've swayed – that isn't necessarily a point in his favour, just a remark)! Then he threatened Jin Guangyao with the letter, leading to the events of the Second Siege which endangered and nearly killed "thousands" (Chapter 68) of people, as well as to the events at the Guanyin temple which nearly killed Jin Ling and Wei Wuxian and endangered more... and there are the smaller things too, like killing those cats, potentially dismembering the innocent Meng Shi's corpse, and possibly knowing about Sisi for a while before freeing her (she said she was freed "recently" in Chapter 85 – but to be fair, we don't know how recently he found out, or how long ago exactly she was freed. She wasn't necessarily freed right before she gave the testimony). We can't forget about potentially endangering many people who lived in Qinghe due to causing the Nie sect to greatly decline, and making himself seem like somebody useless, meaning people likely wouldn't go to him for help if they needed it.

In conclusion: a lot of people were killed, harmed or endangered in his plan. So, with a potential body count that would've (...nearly. maybe. not quite.) rivalled Wei Wuxian's had things gone wrong... where does that leave him in the eyes of the narrative? Do the ends justify the means?

...It's interesting.

Slowly, Nie HuaiSang brushed together his storm-drenched hair, “I think that if this person hates Jin GuangYao so much, they’d probably be entirely merciless towards something he cherishes more than his life.” (...) Perhaps (...) he didn’t want to admit that he used others as pawns, treating human lives as nothing. - Chapter 110, EXR translation

Nie Huaisang's actions are certainly framed as some of wrong. This is consistent with the closest example we have to his actions also being framed as in the wrong (Nie Mingjue harming others by lashing out while hating Jin Guangyao, albeit on a much smaller scale, with durations, intentions, presences of plans, the effect holding onto resentment had on them also being very different; possibly Jin Guangyao himself in his plan to kill Jin Guangshan, although that's obviously not the only condemnable action Jin Guangyao takes, and he very much does intentionally harm others even if it wouldn't really contribute to his aims (burning down the brothel, giving the Tingshan He sect to Xue Yang to experiment on, killing the prostitues when he could've bribed them and forcing them to keep on going even once Jin Guangshan was dead, among many other things)... there really aren't many similar situations to Nie Huaisang's in the novel), even though they're framed this way for different reasons (being blinded by resentment vs knowingly endangering others as part of a wider plan).

Yet, on the other hand, it isn't considered a tragedy that his actions went unpunished – and with reference to MXTX's quote about Nie Huaisang, this isn't accidental (with a slight caveat we're about to talk about).

In the end, it comes down to another, very related, theme.

Conjectures were conjectures, after all. Nobody had evidence. - Chapter 110, EXR translation

MXTX: If you were to ask Wifi as to why he did not reveal [Nie Huaisang's] mask, it’s because there wasn’t enough evidence, there wasn’t a way to catch his tail. - MXTX requote, start of this meta

Think critically. Don't target somebody without evidence. Don't target someone who may not have done something wrong.

Don't target innocent people in pursuit of vengeance, or justice.

That's the main reason Nie Huaisang wasn't exposed. Would Wei Wuxian have exposed him had he had the evidence needed? Maybe – we can't really say. He did endanger a lot of people. But targeting him without evidence, letting suspicions drive actions, would make Wei Wuxian – and indeed, anyone who did so – no better than the mob that does the same thing throughout the novel.

They're also doing it in pursuit of what they think is justice, or vengeance, or an intertwined mixture of the two, after all.

---

*Which is quite similar to Wei Wuxian's own thoughts when first told about it (in the quote). This further supports the assumption that this line of thinking is presented as justified, due to Xiao Xingchen himself being written as an ideal of goodness:

When writing paragraphs about Xue Yang, I had to adjust my mentality to be in the darkest, cruellest state, while it was the exact opposite for Xiao XingChen, from whom I felt holy light every time I wrote about him. - MXTX's postscripts (Chapter 113.5), EXR translation

**"Forgetting the pain as soon as the wound has healed" is a phrase that's used to describe him in the novel, and while it's generally used to describe somebody not learning a lesson after a punishment, it describes this aspect of him perfectly.

***Relevant quote:

Wei WuXian had already lost his judgement. He was already half-mad, half-unconscious. All evil was being augmented by him. He felt that everyone loathed him and he loathed everyone as well.

Holding onto those feelings of loathing and resentment is directly tied to losing judgement and presence of mind – which demonstrates this theme better than any analysis can, I think.

****For more analysis on the themes of resentment and how resentful energy ties into that, this amazing meta by @rynne delves into it more deeply than I do here – I really recommend a read!

*****MXTX does say this earlier on in the same interview:

As to whether it was purely to take revenge, maybe he only had one motive. But afterwards, he wasn’t thinking purely on revenge.

Which does suggest that other more noble factors, such as prevention, may have played a role in his plan too. This seems to indicate Nie Huaisang wasn't completely overtaken by resentment, working to his favour in avoiding scenario 2. However, for the the purposes of this analysis, this isn't too important (and not just because there's nothing to prove or disprove it in the text) – such aims could be achieved by simply exposing Jin Guangyao without utternly destroying him, which is where the motivation of revenge and its effects comes in. It's this aspect of the plan that leads to Nie Huaisang endangering innocent people, which is what this meta dwells upon.

#free to discuss and disagree with what i said btw! expansions and debates are a necessary and very enjoyable part of writing metas #tw suicide mention #cw suicide mention #mdzs meta #my meta #nie huaisang #theme: revenge #theme: resentment #mo dao zu shi #魔道祖师 #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #gdc #...i may put this one on ao3 too actually it's pretty long (not as long as my other one – 3k words vs 7k – but still substantial)#long meta #(also i do still love nie huaisang i'm making that clear)#(his position in this is SO INTERESTING!!)

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sasukesun · 10 months

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How do you think Naruto views the curse of hatred and Sasuke’s darkness?

oh i think i already gave you a hint about how naruto views that in my curse of hatred ask.

actually, i don’t think naruto knows about the curse of hatred itself, the one that comes from tobirama’s bigoted views, since tobirama only voices that when sasuke is talking to the hokages, and naruto wasn’t present there. but well, do i think naruto believes sasuke is genetically predisposed to evil? lol.

like i said in the curse of hatred ask, something that seems to be very solid in naruto is the idea that people grow “positively” when they get support from others, the good place quote and all. well, naruto himself seems to be the character that understands this idea the most.

naruto understands that he and sasuke could be in each other’s places and he does explain why he thinks that, because naruto got external love from iruka and sasuke (the positive support that allows him to grow) while sasuke didn’t. despite him feeling at ease because of naruto (and naruto doesn’t quite know that), sasuke didn’t get the same support before he left konoha, thanks to orochimaru’s curse seal actively triggering him and itachi coming back and retraumatising him. naruto understands that sasuke did everything he did because he loved his family very much, it’s quite interesting how when sakura brings sasuke’s criminal status, naruto talks about sasuke’s love for his family instead of his anger.

i guess that would be enough to show that naruto doesn’t think sasuke is genetically evil, right? i will talk more, though. another thing that i criticised about kishimoto in that ask is the fact that he uses the narrative to frame sasuke as wrong in a way. that happens in the sage of six paths moment too.

what i think it’s important to say here is that those chapters are shit. seriously, they are retconned and badly written. every time i write posts like this, i reread everything, so let me tell you that i reread the chapters of the sage of the six paths and they sounded worse than they did before, and i don’t know how to express myself here without sounding like “source: trust me bro”, and maybe i shouldn’t worry about it that much since you asked for my opinion, but still, i’m gonna try to be objective and make you look at them critically so you understand why i find them shit.

just starting by the simple fact of how retconned the naruto ending is. chapters 670 and 671 especially are used to introduce kaguya as the new and final villain to the readers, that to me is already iffy as hell for one basic reason: naruto has 700 chapters, do you think it makes sense to introduce the supposed most important villain of the whole story with 30 chapters left for the ending? don’t you find that a little bit rushed? a little bit pulled out of nowhere? take madara in comparison, his first mention as a possible personality able to influence the story (and i mean madara, not obito pretending to be madara) is on chapter 370, a little bit over the half of the manga. and madara’s presence exists even before that, hence vote1 or kurama talking about him in reunion, for example. that is how far his influence on the plot goes, he is a ghost haunting everybody else. and another thing we have to take into consideration is why kaguya even exists? i could give you two reasons: (1) kishimoto wrote himself into a corner when he made madara so damn sexy powerful, to the point he didn’t know how to defeat him and (2) to build the new setting for boruto (since it’s villains are all from her clan), so yeah, pardon me for not taking kaguya’s entire existence in this story seriously.

and it’s not only about that retcon, it’s also about the other retcon that makes her existence so off from anything else in the manga. those chapters also introduce us a new idea which is: power corrupts people and it drives them mad. this isn’t about political power or anything, just raw power. those chapters push for the idea that the problem wasn’t with the shinobi structure or how villages ended as military fortresses, the problem is actually when people are too powerful, the problem is in the ninjutsu, which is different from the “ninshuu”, even though the manga never develops this idea, or explains how they are different and why, it just throws us vague affirmations from a supposed reliable source, since we are talking about the most powerful ninja in history, with no explanations whatsoever. this is a way to build a narrative, and i’m surely not saying that the narrative in question is good or reliable, you have to look at it critically.

so i guess let’s forget any political aspect of the shinobi world, whose worldbuilding started in land of waves, the very first arc of the manga, because the actual problem is that… there is a fruit that turns people powerful and therefore evil, huh? well, that’s not the narrative i’m buying, it’s far from enough to convince me.

and finally we get to how the fuck does that involve sasuke? well, the story tell us that indra was born naturally strong and believed that with power anything was possible, while ashura was only able to reach the same level through hard work and cooperation… so if sasuke has indra’s chakra clinging onto him… do you see where the narrative is trying to go? i have already talked about how it’s bullshit that sasuke was a natural prodigy, so the narrative can’t even get that right, but here they are also hinting that sasuke is corrupted by power. it’s not enough that the narrative is trying to make us forget about the shinobi system problems — and the uchiha massacre and sasuke wanting justice is a very relevant one of those problems — it’s also trying to push for the idea that sasuke is wrong because he is corrupted by power, while centring the morality around naruto. it’s not a “curse of hatred” that sasuke “suffers” from here, but it’s also the idea of power driving people mad and making him irrational and therefore, they are stuck in this cycle of hatred.

now, the narrative and the character are separated entities, a character can be used to build a narrative, a narrative can reinforce the credibility of a character, but i can’t blame naruto as a character for a narrative that tries to frame him as good. besides, what naruto actually thinks of this?

kishimoto made sure to emphasise it at least four times… in less than 30 chapters.

and what is even more ironic is that, even though the sage of the six paths himself is used to build this narrative, he is also used to push for the idea that naruto and sasuke are different from the ones that came before them, that they are their own people. not only the sage of the six paths btw, hashirama as well… who was used to talk about sasuke’s “soul consumed by darkness”, like i said in the curse of hatred ask.

isn’t it just messy?

now, about sasuke’s “darkness” and how naruto views it. another thing i said in the curse of hatred ask is that i don’t think the darkness used in a derogatory way to talk about sasuke wanting justice for his clan is the same darkness of sasuke’s desire to isolate himself. the latter is a darkness that manifests through sasuke’s final plan: a darkness that is about bearing everybody else’s “hatred” (which would be anger against an enemy) all by himself.

i think that’s pretty objective, actually.

and obviously, another thing that is very objective and explicitly stated is that in order to sasuke’s version of hokage to work, he must cut naruto off, he must be alone so he will be able to endure all the hatred himself.

and then we go back to what i talked about in the beginning of this ask. naruto understands that people grow positively with the support they receive from others.

don’t you think it makes sense of naruto to try to give back the love sasuke gave to him in the beginning of the story, since he himself admits that sasuke and iruka changed his heart? well, that’s pretty much textually supported.

“rather… i pray they’re able to reclaim the love they’d lost… not just naruto… but sasuke as well”

even naruto’s explanation of what “friend” means to him is related to not being able to turn his back to sasuke when sasuke is hurting, and he knows sasuke’s isolation is just a way to hurt himself, it is also textually supported that naruto’s issue is with sasuke being alone.

he just can’t turn his back on sasuke, knowing sasuke is perfectly capable of good, like- is there any doubt to naruto that sasuke is good and deserves the positive support (love) like anybody else? sasuke is the one that doubts himself (because of itachi’s influence on his mindset), but naruto doesn’t even hesitate.

i really hope you were able to get my train of thought and understand that even though there is a narrative trying to frame sasuke as wrong one way or another, not every character believes it, nor you should believe it just because it tells you so. i myself can’t take it seriously when i look at it critically.

#it took me like- 10 days to write this ask so i hope it’s good #anon if you haven’t given up on me… here’s your reply #ask #anonymous #naruto asks

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bbc2pastmidnight · 3 months

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So obsessed with the variability of valid readings of Edgeworth’s relationship with sex / sexuality. This is slightly long so I’ll put it under the cut.

He’s a virgin; he’s a whore. He’s trans (both ways, depending who you ask or what mood they’re in); he’s the most unbearable rich cis gay man to ever walk the earth (you know the type). He’s aromantic; he falls in love with anyone who’s nice to him, even if he knows that outward “niceness” is just their personality. He can’t love anyone whom he can’t respect, so he likes to be put in his place (roughly); he finds comfort in his own projection of superiority, and feels his best standing and gloating over someone he’s defeated (in any sense). He revels in the simplicity of taking a physical beating; he just wants to be held. He can’t stand to give up control, and will do anything to anyone to maintain it; having control entirely seized from him is the best thing he can imagine. He’s a sadist, he’s a masochist, or he’s too tired, so tired of perfectly fulfilling every role in his life already. He just wants a hand to squeeze quietly under the table, to have a reason to learn how to cook; domesticity repels and terrifies him, who grew up in a cold house and expects to die in the familiar comfort of a frigid one (where the spotless kitchen is never used and the cushions are always arranged just-so, where he can let his guard down, focus on work till the wee hours of the morning and shuffle to a cool, silent bedroom: numb, but not painful).

He’s a top; he’s a bottom. He typically finds sex repulsive and awkward and alarming; or he doesn’t view it as anything personal at all, the same as going out for a drink after work to try and unwind. He’s dying to submit to something; he’ll fight tooth and claw before someone sees him so vulnerable. He knows he’s handsome and how to use this to get what he wants (and has done since an alarmingly young age); he’s so buttoned-up and stiff that the impropriety of attempting such a thing is unthinkable.

I honestly feel that there’s text to support one, both, or a mixture of any of these readings, and seeing other peoples’ interpretations rarely feels entirely wrong because he’s such a self-contradictory character. He often seems to know what he wants, and he sometimes seems to know what’s good for him, yet he rarely seems to desire what would be good for him at all. Even as his character develops and grows older and seems to accept himself more and grow back into the person he always seems to have been at his core, there’s still this stubborn sense of self-loathing that’s been hammered into him for so long. It’s nowhere near as bad as when he was young, like in the first game or in flashback cases, and he’s clearly doing better and is a lot more comfortable, but even if he’s attained some level of not-hurting, it doesn’t mean that he’s good, you know ? And this seems to hold him back from…something. I think from what depends on your reading of him, ultimately. But some young, vindictive part of him still doesn’t want to lose, somehow, I think. And this presents as very contradictory actions and reactions over time. This can be said of his whole character, not just his sexuality, obviously, but I think that since there is so much writing and speculation about his (and other characters’s) sexual preferences among fans etc, it is a useful vessel for communicating this important aspect of his character, this push and pull of his own psyche.

I’ll definitely cringe to look back on this someday and I haven’t even proofread it now, but I do have brain worms that I wanted to release into the ether. Now that they have seen the open air (the worms, I mean) I will retreat back into the hole from whence i came.

PS. I can’t believe this is the pink guy from gay lawyer game

#pw:aa #aj:aa #aai1 #aai2 #mine.txt

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theambitiouswoman · 1 year

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How would you handle conflict or drama without stooping low ? Even when you try it , it doesn’t go away.

You know the truth and they won’t accept it.

It is very hard to deal with a conflict when the other person does not want to accept fault in their actions. I understand how it would make you feel better if a person admitted their wrong doings, but we are not always going to get it.

We need to zoom out, and look at the dynamic, as well as the person for who and what they are. Ask yourself, if you are willing to continue to hurt and stress yourself just because you are committed to get a response, or even changed behavior from the person. They already showed you who they are. You are choosing to want something from them that they do not want to give you.

When discussing the issue with them, use "I" statements to express your thoughts and feelings without attacking or blaming the other person. Stick to the facts, present your perspective calmly, and actively listen to their point of view. Avoid engaging in personal attacks or being defensive.

While it's important to stand up for the truth, understand that you may not be able to change the other person's perspective or make them accept it. Instead of focusing solely on getting them to agree with you, aim for a mutual understanding. I don't know the situation but if appropriate, try to empathize with their feelings and concerns, even if you disagree with their conclusions.

Realize that not every conflict requires your immediate involvement. You need to decide if the issue at hand is worth the emotional energy and potential damage to the relationship. Sometimes, it's better to let go and focus on maintaining your own well-being rather than trying to convince someone who refuses to accept the truth.

Stooping to someones level, will not change the situation. It definitely will not have you coming out on top. Think of it this way, you will not only be hurt by the situation, but then automatically wrong for not having emotional control and acting out of character.

It's essential to maintain your composure and emotional stability during conflicts. Take deep breaths, practice mindfulness, or find a healthy outlet for your emotions, such as talking to a trusted friend or engaging in a calming activity. Reacting impulsively or getting defensive can escalate the situation further and will put you in the same position as them.

If the conflict or drama persists, establish boundaries to protect your well-being. This could mean limiting contact with the person, taking a break from the relationship, or seeking a more positive and supportive environment.

You can't control how others respond or accept the truth. You can only control your own actions, reactions, and choices. Focus on maintaining your integrity, prioritizing your well-being, and surrounding yourself with people who support and validate your truth. In my experience, I never lost anyone who hurt me, and they have always tried to come back into my life at some point let it be months or years. Do not voluntarily choose to stay in an environment that drains your energy. Your power is always in walking away and not giving them the benefit.

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honoringthehorrific · 6 months

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Is Late Night with The Devil worth tuning in for?

Don't adjust those sets...spoilers in 5..4..3..2...

First off sorry for not being able to find a gif from the movie! Tumblr gave me a real hard time with that one.

Second off I would like to say I do not support the use of AI art. I think it is abysmal. I watched this movie with my partner after saving up points at our local theater for free tickets. If this still supports the movies we see in some way please let me know and I will be sure to find another way to better watch these movies without supporting their actions...🏴‍☠️🦜 It just may mean you get your reviews a touch later!

Onto the movie. The aesthetics were very enjoyable I could appreciate the ties back to satanic panic and the fascination with the occult. The costuming, the filming of the movie, it all felt right and very few times did I feel my immersion in it break. I feel like maybe there were one or two shots where the actors looked too well made up if that makes sense.

One fun fact my partner pointed out was that you can see the twin towers in the opening shots and the city cut aways because they were built 4 years prior! I really liked that this movie didn't shy away from showing us the towers mostly because I feel like that's something that would have broken the idea we are in the 70s.

While the filming was fitting and awesome the effects were....I would say B tier at points. I think it adds to the charm of course I can always appreciate a homemade effect but it does slightly pull me out of this being something that really happened. Don't get me wrong I know it's not trying to be the next Blair witch "true story" but i feel like there is some level to this that wants the audience to feel that this is real.

My partner notes too that cutting it from a television camera view to the audience view might have helped as well!

Onto the fun stuff, we get hints throughout...sorry no, not hints...we get TOLD throughout the movie that our star of tonight's show, jack delroy, is in a fraternal organization...sorry, i mean cult. He is in the Bohemian Grove cult. We get told there are rumors of this in the opening almost documentary style retelling of Jack's fame and struggles with being as good as Johnny Carson. We'll come back to that.

Tonight is 1977. Halloween night. Sweep week. A night where Jack really needs to scrape in the views. He has no idea that the plans he has this evening will go awry...recently his wife madeline who will be reffered to by her "special nickname" mini has passed away from lung cancer. Tonight's show is also jacks first one back and man is it a doozy. We get to see how he banters with his co-host and honestly kind of berates him. I had this struggle with jack where I wanted to like him but every time I tried I just got these kicks and hints that he was kind of an asshole? But it's show biz, who isn't? His first guest is a medium who intends to commune with the dead. He seems like other shoddy Vegas types until he accurately assess a family who lost their son and brother to suicide. It's later revealed to be a bunch of hooey when the next guest a renowned skeptic chats with the family and realizes they were questioned prior to the show.

The first chilling moment we get that isn't the use of AI art is the medium seemingly becoming possessed by the grieving spirit of mini however no one claims the name and only later does jack reveal he thinks the message was for him.

I'm not gonna foot around it. The use of AI art while not overly used and egregious it's present. Personally it being present feels like an issue. It bugs me and it should bug you. I know many people want to cut it a break for being an indie film but it doesn't take much to put some money towards what was it? 5-6 pieces of art? Yeah some people will have higher rates for working on this but I'm sure they could have found someone to do the art if they felt theirs wasn't up to par. I don't think they're fully evil or anything for it. I don't support AI art but I can understand the other side of the argument. However when you turn a blind eye to one film and it does well it doesn't matter if it's an indie project or not. It makes the big guys think hey we like this. Give the devil an inch and he'll take a mile right?...

That all being said I could ignore the cut aways kind of??...I paid attention for mistakes the first few times before the sight of them just elicited an annoyed eyeroll from me.

As the movie progresses we meet the skeptic. He's offering checks to people who can prove without a doubt that they're the real deal and he says hes not lost a nickel yet. The medium claims he doesn't want the money and when Jack vouches for him and says the last message was meant for him the medium's behavior gets more and more erratic before he finally spews black vomit all over the studio including onto the skeptic.

Little do we know on the way to the hospital our medium turns up dead. This starts to brew panic in the crew and our co-host as our next guests are brought on. June and Lily. Lily was found as a 10 year old by the authorities as the only surviving member of a satanic cult that kind of parodies the satanic church and Anton lavey. Lily is possessed by a demon she calls mr.wriggles. mr.wriggles is an interesting one alright! Wether it's trauma, the demonic possession or my boyfriend's theory- autism. Lily exhibits off behaviors like staring directly into the cameras and seeming very monotone at times. It isn't until Jack pushes for and honestly...kind of corners June on live TV that June and Lily decide to showcase Lily's ability. Man does this demon have something to say.

The demon begins by noting that him and Jack know each other hinting at a tie between the Grove cult again. Before intent focuses again on June. Calling her out for her and jacks relationship and telling her to remember what happened to his last whore. Possession doesn't cease until June slaps the girl. Let me tell you I didn't trust this at all. June goes to undo the straps after some crazy electrical issues and levitation and I just felt uneasy the whole time. That typical feeling while watching these movies of "are you stupid??" Lily in my eyes had a very sinister look to her still that later gets touched on again. We then get the skeptics explanation and recreation with hypnosis. Making our co-host believe his phobia of worms is suddenly real life with them wriggling from his neck stomach and lastly eyeball. Only for us to cut back to reality with his activation phrase and see that none of it was true. They watch the tape back and realize that the whole audience was hypnotized because none of that truly happened on their TV sets. However when watching back what happened with Lily it triggers the girl.

She levitates and glows while her head splits open. She immolates the skeptic when he offers the hefty check in exchange for his life and hangs her guardian/doctor by the necklace meant to keep the demon at bay. And unfortunately our chunky loveable co-host gets his neck snapped when trying to "the power of Christ compels you" the demon away. It isn't until we get this gorgeous dream like sequence after Jack seemingly gets away. Him going through the routine of the show only to try and escape. Him telling us to turn off our sets and stop watching before we get a sequence with the cult and him drinking from a chalice as he meets his wife. She reveals that he sacrificed her health for fame. He didn't know. And this is where I felt sympathetic for him....the entire time he was unaware...he murdered her unintentionally. And so she asks him to murder her in the physical. Take the ritual knife from Lily's old home and finish her off before the cancer can take her....only for him to plunge the knife into her and reveal that the dream was fake. And he has stabbed Lily to death. He stands and we get a heart wrenching scene of him trying to say the skeptics activation phrase to wake up while surrounded by the carnage he somewhat unknowingly caused...

Overall I give this 3 worms out of 5.

The AI made my eyes roll and the effects were corny but the premise and scenery and aesthetics were beautiful. I sort of reccomend it if you can watch it in a non supporting way.

#late night with the devil #not an aesthetic #regurgitated reviews #horror

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anywaythewinds · 1 year

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[Translation] INTERVIEW: Sing for My Music: The Phantom of the Opera’s Kim Ju Taek

Interviewed by Ahn Se Young From the March 2023 issue of The Musical Translated by @anywaythewinds, edited by sigye

source

Translator's note: Thanks to sigye for their help reviewing and editing this. Please message me if you find any mistakes. Please do not quote without credit (link to this post).

Just like the first scene of The Phantom of the Opera when we see time turned back through a fallen chandelier pulled back to its place hanging from the ceiling, let’s turn back the clock to 2009. The year The Phantom of the Opera returned for its second season in Korea, Korean baritone Kim Ju Taek made his opera debut as Figaro in The Barber of Seville in faraway Italy. He then traveled all over the world, performing as an opera singer, until 2017 when he suddenly appeared on musical competition TV show Phantom Singer 2 and took on a new challenge as a part of crossover musical group, Miraclass. Now, in 2023, Kim Ju Taek of Phantom Singer 2 is about to transform into a real Phantom in The Phantom of the Opera, returning for its first Korean production in 13 years. Opera star Kim Ju Taek receives the spotlight of the stage, while the Phantom hides in the dark basement of an opera house. These two characters that live in seemingly different worlds become one through a common desire to share their music with the world.

“I knew I couldn’t pass on this opportunity”

You were actively performing in Italy, the birthplace of opera, when you decided to appear on Phantom Singer 2, and there was a lot of talk about you. I heard that some of your family and friends even discouraged you from doing TV. How did they react when they heard you would be making your musical theatre debut? When I told my mother I was going to be on Phantom Singer 2, she had to go lie down from shock. To be honest, I was afraid she would react similarly this time as well so I kept Phantom a secret from my mother until just before the cast was announced. But when she heard the casting news, her reaction was completely different from the past. Instead of opposing it, she even asked me this and that about the musical with interest. Genre aside, perhaps she saw that I was appearing alongside distinguished actors such as Jo Seung Woo, Choi Jae Rim, and Jeon Dongseok, and thought, “My son must be doing something amazing!” (laughs) The Miraclass members were also very happy for me. Musical actor Park Kang Hyun sunbaenim [senior] told me that it was a role that I would fit very well and congratulated me. (laughs)

I heard that you went to see pretty much every musical that actor Park Kang Hyun appeared in. When did you start becoming interested in musicals? Before I appeared on Phantom Singer 2, I honestly thought that classical music was the only type of music for me. Like a racehorse with its eyes covered, my view was too narrow. But through Phantom Singer I met so many skilled musicians that performed in other genres, and I discovered there was a whole other world I was unaware of. It was a wakeup call. “I was too proud just because I sing a bit of opera!” I thought, and I realized I had the wrong view before. From that time, my eyes were opened, and I became interested in a variety of genres. Through the competition, I became a member of the same team as musical actor Kang Hyun, and I started learning about musicals when I went to support him in the musicals he appeared in. I’ve pretty much seen all of the musicals he’s been in from when he was at Daehakro in 2017 doing Evil Dead to the present day in grand theatres.

As a member of the audience, what did you think of musicals? I went to study abroad in Italy in my last year of high school, so I didn’t have any opportunity to learn about musicals. Musicals aren’t performed much in Italy, the birthplace of opera. I discovered musicals late, once I returned to Korea, and it was overwhelming. The stage direction was awesome, and the actors’ singing was powerful to my ears - a completely different appeal from opera, which doesn’t use mics. I’ve never learned acting, but I thought that I would like to try performing in sung-through musicals such as Les Miserables and Hadestown. I also wanted to try singing the songs that An Jung-geun sings in Hero. I sometimes imagined what appearing in a certain musical would feel like. One of the musicals that I vaguely dreamed of was The Phantom of the Opera.

When the cast was announced, you said, “I have thought that if I ever were to be in a musical, the musical that would best express my music would be The Phantom of the Opera.” What was the reason that made you decide to appear in Phantom? Even amongst classical singers, The Phantom of the Opera is a well known musical. It’s set in an opera house in Paris, and many opera singers have appeared in the show as well. I’ve never seen the show in person, but I’ve sung Raoul and Christine’s duet, “All I Ask of You,” at a concert before. From then, I’ve thought that the show had very beautiful music. I was also curious what the secret was behind Broadway’s longest running musical. I wanted to figure out the reason for its success through performing in the musical myself. More than anything, it’s also the first time in 13 years that The Phantom of the Opera is being produced in Korea! We don’t know when the next production after this will be, so I knew I couldn’t pass on this opportunity.

Considering that this is the first license production in so long, the casting competition must have been fierce. Do you have any stories from the audition process? The auditions were held when people couldn’t freely enter and leave the country due to COVID-19, so the director, Rainer Fried, couldn’t come to Korea himself and ended up video calling into the auditions. The audition song was “All I Ask of You (Reprise),” when the Phantom peers at Christine and Raoul’s secret rendezvous and sings of his feeling of betrayal. I was so nervous that I don’t even remember how I sang the song. But after I sang, the director asked me to focus more on the Phantom’s emotions and sing it once more, so I had a hunch it was going well, since it meant that he was interested in me. The first time I sang in front of the director was during rehearsals, and he said that now that he was hearing me in person, it was a hundred times more thrilling than during the video call auditions. The producer that was at the auditions also said that I was memorable. They said that they usually just keep their eyes on their laptop screen, but for the first time at any audition, they looked up after I sang my first line. To be honest I don’t remember anything except being super nervous, but I was a little shy hearing such praise.

Were you really that nervous? Even though musical theatre is a new genre to you, you’re skilled in singing so I thought you would be confident. I definitely wasn’t confident at first! First of all, Phantom’s songs have a lot of high notes. In opera, the highest notes a baritone has to sing is around F# or G, but Phantom has to sing G#s and even A. I also have to use falsetto for some parts, which opera singers usually don’t need to do, since opera singers have to sing powerfully enough to cut through the orchestra and be heard without mics. But since musical vocalization is different from opera, I felt some pressure there. I debated a lot about how to sing in the show, and I ended up mixing in just the right amount of opera vocalization during rehearsal. Thankfully everyone seemed to think it was okay. (laughs) From that point, I gained some confidence.

“I want to break the stereotypes about opera singers”

Did you find any big differences between musical theatre and opera while rehearsing? As I said before, since opera singers don’t use mics, if you sing softly your sound is completely buried by the orchestra. It’s really embarrassing if you’re an opera singer and a conductor says your voice is soft. But in musical theatre, through the mic, even the smallest whispers and breaths from an actor is perfectly conveyed to the audience. So compared to opera, a much more subtle expression is possible. On Phantom Singer 2, Kang Hyun nicknamed me “tyrannosaurus” so a lot of people remember me as just having a powerful voice, but I actually enjoy more subtle singing, with expressiveness. In that sense, I think musical theatre fits me well.

In the past, you sang mostly in Italian when performing in operas. This time, you’ll be performing in front of a Korean audience singing in Korean - it must be a new feeling. You might think that it’s easier for me to sing in Korean, but that’s not the case. First of all, during rehearsals, the Korean lyrics were constantly being edited, so I would confuse the lyrics with the version I’d previously memorized. However, opera lyrics never change, and it’s required to arrive at rehearsals with the score memorized, so I’m still getting used to the rehearsal process for Phantom. The Korean language doesn’t have distinct accents or intonation, which is also an obstacle. European languages all have set rules for pitch and intonation, so you can sing according to those rules, but Korean doesn’t have those rules. So classical singers find Korean songs harder than Italian, German, or English language songs. But it’s fun, since a song sounds completely different based on the points that the singer chooses to emphasize in their interpretation.

Do you feel nervous about the acting? I would’ve been nervous if there were a lot of spoken lines, but The Phantom of the Opera is a sung-through musical. Putting emotions into my singing is something I’ve already been doing from my opera days, so it’s not too hard, comparatively. A lot of people have this misconception that opera singers wait for their turn, sing their song, and then get off stage, but operas are also just like musicals and require acting skill. I want to break that stereotype about opera singers by doing well as the Phantom.

The role of Christine is played by Son Ji Soo and Song Eun Hye, who are also opera singers. How did you feel performing with them during rehearsals? Even before Phantom, I knew both of them well. Soprano Ji Soo and I are both graduates of Seonhwa Arts High School and we’ve run into each other before at competitions. Popera singer Eun Hye and I performed together at a concert before. The fact that the two of them are also a part of this is a source of strength for me, since we can talk about our troubles together as classical singers doing musical theatre. The two Christines must feel a lot of pressure regarding acting since the role has so much stage time, but the others playing the Phantom role are all musical actors so they’ve been taking the lead during rehearsal, and now we have a great time practicing together. I’ve been enjoying rehearsals because each of the Christines have their own personalities. Since Ji Soo has her share of experience on the opera stage, she gives off the vibe of a respectable prima donna; Eun Hye, on the other hand, brings out a more young and innocent side of Christine, one that’s just about to become a big star.

Imagine yourself finally standing on stage after all the rehearsals - which scene do you anticipate the most? The scene where the Phantom sings “The Music of the Night.” After starting rehearsals, we pretty much rehearsed this song for ten days straight, but I understand why we poured our heart and soul into rehearsing it. In just a few minutes, I have to fully express what kind of person the Phantom is. To the Phantom, music is his entire life. He’s devoted his entire being into his music. And one day, someone appears that can transform the music he’s been dreaming about into reality. That someone is Christine. Right before the Phantom sings “The Music of the Night,” he sings this to Christine: The only reason I’ve brought you here is so that you can sing my song. If I don’t properly convey the Phantom’s mentality in this passage, the Phantom could be just a villain in the audience’s eyes. So I’m very nervous about this scene, but I’m also excited for it. It feels like time stops when I’m singing this song.

“The Music of the Night” requires a detailed portrayal, but the Phantom’s face is covered so it must be difficult to convey emotion in this song. That’s right. My face is half covered by the mask, so however intensely stare, there’s a limit to what the audience will take away. Instead, I use my hand movements to convey emotion. In “The Music of the Night,” the Phantom’s motions are gentle and careful as if he’s lulling a baby. Because Christine is that precious to him. But strength must coexist with that gentleness - only then can the audience see that Christine is overpowered by the Phantom. The director said that I have to act with “the feeling of pulling Christine’s backbone.” It’s a bit of an extreme expression, but that’s how I have to portray the Phantom’s invisible power that’s able to captivate Christine. As rehearsals continue, I’m realizing just how exquisitely and systematically this musical was put together. I can’t carelessly pass over any single breath, look, gesture, or word. I think the reason why The Phantom of the Opera has been so loved all over the world for 35 years is because of this meticulous attention to detail.

“If all you do is think, nothing will happen”

With the guidance of the Phantom, Christine emerges as the prima donna. In real life, do you have a mentor like the Phantom? Though I’ve never met him, there’s someone that held on to me so that I could make it to this point without losing my passion for singing - Italy’s legendary baritone Piero Cappuccilli. Cappuccilli was famous for his ability to sing up to the tenor range, even though he was a baritone, and his long, uninterrupted phrases. I especially love his legato [the method of singing multiple notes in a smooth, continuous fashion]. There’s an aria from the opera Don Carlo called “Io Morro, Ma Lieto In Core” that Rodrigo sings before he dies. In this aria, Cappuccilli sings four phrases without a single breath in between for about 20 seconds. When I heard him sing this, I was floored. I wanted to copy him so at night I would go to the park when it was empty and walk while practicing singing. In this way, I was able to sing for longer on a single breath. That’s how I grew as a singer while listening to Cappuccilli. He’s my idol and mentor. Whenever I want to go back to the basics, I watch videos of Cappuccilli. If the Phantom reached out to Christine through the mirror to guide her, Cappuccilli did the same thing to me, through the computer screen.

The Phantom is a musical genius, but due to his hideous appearance he leads a lonely life hidden in the basement of an opera house. Though you’re known for having an optimistic personality, do you find any similarities between you and the Phantom? For any character I portray, I start with finding the similarities between my experiences and the character’s in the story. For example, if the role is a father who has lost a wandering son, then I’ll recall the feeling of when one of my favorite juniors lost their way to portray that role. While I was carefully considering where to find the commonalities between myself and the Phantom, my slump in Italy came to mind. After 4-5 years studying abroad, due to my family’s circumstances, it became difficult for my parents to support me. To make matters worse, I was deeply betrayed by someone in my life. As a twenty something year old living alone far from home, I struggled to get through these hardships one after another. I wanted to give up on the music that had been my everything up until then. I even had the extreme thought of giving up on life. I’m going to try and place those feelings into my Phantom. The Phantom’s solitude, his feelings when Christine, who he believed would give his music wings, betrays him - I think my experiences will help me portray those emotions.

How did you get out of that slump back then? Ironically, it was music that pulled me out of my slump in the end. At the time, my final exam to graduate from the Verdi Music Conservatory in Milan was approaching, but I had lost myself to a state of despair and I even stopped attending my classes. But then, a teacher of mine came to look for me, and even brought me to their villa to cheer me up. They also helped me enter a competition, and it was at that competition that I met the casting director that cast me in my debut opera. It’s dramatic, right? After that, while preparing for the opera, I forgot about all of the hard times. I also graduated from school as the fourth student in the conservatory’s history to receive unanimous votes. I almost gave up on life because of music, but it was also thanks to music that I hung on to life.

I always thought you had a continuous upward trajectory as an opera star - I’m surprised that you also had setbacks in your career. I’m not sure how I appear to others, but my life has been a continuous cycle of new endeavors and failures. After debuting as an opera star, while I was actively performing, I hit another slump. It was difficult to always sing in the same theatre, with the same people, with the same orchestra and the same repertoire. This question kept ringing in my head: “Is this really the future I dreamed of?” Around this time, I was in Korea for a bit, and coincidentally it was when Phantom Singer 1 was airing. While watching the show, I couldn’t get the thought out of my head, “What if I had appeared on this show?” So when the applications for Phantom Singer 2 opened I immediately applied. Because I had gotten tired of constantly doing the same things in the same way and wanted a refresh.

Is there anything else you want to challenge in the future? After Phantom of the Opera, if possible, I want to keep doing musicals. I intend to grow as a musical actor one step at a time. Later on, I want to be a conductor or a music director. I want the job of seeing the forest instead of the trees - painting the big picture. My childhood dream was to become a conductor. While traveling around the world and performing with conductor Jeong Myung Hoon, I saw his overflowing charisma while conducting and my childhood dream that I had carefully tucked away came back to life. After all, it’s part of my personality that I can’t stay in one place for too long. Just like how 19 year old Kim Ju Taek set off for Italy, I love taking on new challenges. And I’ll do that for the rest of my life.

In the world, there are more people that are afraid and hesitant in front of new challenges than those that enjoy it. What do you want to say to the people that are afraid? I often tell my juniors to not just think of doing something but to actually attempt it. If all you do is think, nothing will happen. However, with anything you attempt, even if you fail, the experience remains. That experience keeps building up and then it becomes your skills. Sometimes, when I’m giving advice to my juniors, they respond with, “I’m not ready yet.” I get sad when I hear those words. If you do nothing and just wait for your big break, when your chance actually appears you won’t be able to take it because you don’t have the skills. You have to remember that no matter if you succeed or fail, the experience you build is preparation so you’re able to take the opportunity when it comes. So if you’re thinking about trying something right now, go for it. It takes ten hits to chop down a tree. If all you do is think about something ten times, nothing will come out of it.

#kim ju taek #김주택 #the phantom of the opera #오페라의 유령 #korean musicals #translation #i love that even though he's a musical theatre rookie he's bringing such a wealth of experience of performing to the role #like you can feel just how much he loves music and that's why this role is perfect for him

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