#I don’t want ppl to misunderstand my intention

[oobbbear]

Please understand that when I say I grab you, I don’t mean grabbing your face or arm thats rude and creepy please don’t do that to anyone

When I say I grab you I’m saying it like I’m grabbing you like a potato. It’s my way of saying hey I appreciate and respect you let’s be friends

[sandraharissa]

Even tho ‘Nina makes Crowley realise he’s in love’ has become quite a popular interpretation I’m still sticking with my previous interpretation of ‘Crowley knew the whole time, likely since the Eden wall scene’. It’s bcos this twist on their relationship does nothing for me and all I see from other ppl who liked it is ‘Oh Crowley’s such a dum-dum, of course he’d just do all those things but remain oblivious, he’s so silly’.

Now I’m not mad at anybody specifically for having a different interpretation but I wanna share my own thoughts about the interpretation itself, and by ‘share my thoughts’ I mean bitch about it.

In s1 so much of Crowley’s behavior is so intentional, he’s the one always pushing for them to have more interactions, he was the one who suggested the arrangement, he’s always inserting himself in Azi’s life, he’s the one insisting they are on their own side, he’s suggesting running off to Alfa-Centauri, he’d do anything like postpone Satan and any other of Azi’s whims just for him, he’s the one who at the end when they’re waiting on the bus appeals to Azi again trying to reinforce that they’re together on the same side, but probs the most obvious example of all the ‘you go to fast for me’ scene. There’s so much potent drama and tragedy there for Crowley if he’s pursuing Azi the whole time, how else would you even call what he’s doing in s1?

“Well, can I drop you anywhere?”

“No, thank you. Oh, don’t look so disappointed. Perhaps one day we could… I don’t know. Go for a picnic. Dine at the Ritz.”

“I’ll give you a lift. Anywhere you want to go.”

“You go too fast for me, Crowley.”

So when I watched this exchange the first time and assumed it has a deeper meaning cos they’re both talking in code and using the car as a metaphor for being ready to take their relationship to the next level I wasn’t right and the scene isn’t really that deep or romantic cos Crowley was really just suggesting spending more time together that evening like always and had no deeper desire or meaning to convey and also completely missed the meaning of Azi’s words?

For the love of God he walked into a church burning his feet for Azi’s sake in this grand sweet gesture just completely unaware of why he’s actually doing it? Doesn’t it take away so much depth and agency and meaning from that interaction? If it’s not intended by Crowley as a grand sweet gesture cos ‘he’s the love of my life, I’d do anything for him’ but as far as Crowley’s aware he’s doing it just because?

I think that’s why I dislike it so much, it exchanges the imo super compelling drama and a tragic angle to Crowley’s character with ‘oh it’s just so typical of them to be so smart yet stupid ha ha’. Like honestly, yeah sure, I get it, it fits the Pratchett-esque type humor, it IS in character for them to be dum-dums but it’s kinda disappointing imo if this comedic aspect of their characterization was taken so far as to be used as an explanation for really serious aspects of the development of their quite tragic relationship.

I think part of this is also this paradox of how having inhuman characters in stories doesn’t mean anything cos fundamentally they still need to behave human in order to be relatable to the audience and not come off as flat and simplified versions of ‘human’, what ppl often think of as poorly written characters. And oftentimes attempts to create ‘otherworldly’ characters that are still compelling simply result in cishet writers making all their robots/aliens/angels aro/ace/trans, so creating completely human characters with human experiences. I think there’s a limit to how far you can take a character who’s lived with humans for 6k years and presumably loves them and say that he wholly misunderstands the most basic and important aspect of humanity like ‘feeling love’ before the character becomes ‘silly’ beyond understandable or relatable.

Azi being clever yet stupid cos his internal character conflict results in him not knowing how to reconcile his relationship with heaven to his relationship with Crowley? Fantastic. An extremely human experience of dealing with an abusive family too, and not at all anything truly celestial/alien.

Crowley knowing Jane Austen personally from a heist but missing the fact that she wrote novels and their cultural relevance, a la grandpa who lives under a rock? Or him organizing a heist to *looks at notes* steal holy water, a la demon who doesn’t know how christianity works and that he could get it for free by asking? Hilarious. Crowley having character quirks like his thing with ducks? Great.

Crowley spends 6k years consistently and vigorously pursuing one person (one!!!) and performing grand romantic gestures but sike, it was unintentional cos he’s so removed from the human experience and emotions that he’s got no self-awareness? Meh.

It’d be another thing if the whole time Crowley was shameful and in denial of his feelings and behaved like Azi e.g. “we’re not friends and I don’t even like you”, with him I totally agree that he must have realized recently and has still not processed it and his family trauma, but the intent and purpose and intensity with which Crowley pursues a relationship, even just a friendship, with Azi in s1 really makes it unbelievable to me that he’d do it completely unaware. During the talk with Nina he may have realized that his relationship with Azi is comparable to the human romance and opened his eyes to the possibility of e.g. kissing and realized he needs to make a move and stop dancing around the topic but I completely reject the idea that he didn’t know he loved Azi.

Warning. Bitterness incoming: Currently waiting for s3 to inspire an interpretation that *that scene from s3* is when Azi realizes he’s in love, cos he hasn’t done so in 1941, s1 and s2, and during the kiss scene apparently.

[saltminerising]

clearing up some natdom stuff

alright so quick disclaimer, I can't speak for the entire flight or the planning team for DtB, but as someone who's pretty involved in nature dominance efforts, I want to address some of the comments that ppl have brought up. also this isn't intended to be an attack on either nature flight members or earth flight members, this is really just me summing up my own thoughts.

I think most of the critiques so far have been very fair and understandable, and I've had my own share of frustrations with the way events were run this year. sorry folks, buckle up because this is a long ass post.

Discourse Related Stuff

1) regarding the one FRD thread about "noo guys earth is the grinch that stole christmas", as far as I could tell the original post was made in a lighthearted manner and I doubt it was made in genuine bad faith. To be fair, some of the comments do seem a bit petty, but the vast majority of natdom members I've talked to have been very chill about the whole ordeal. In fact, most of the comments that seemed to have rubbed people the wrong way were probably made by nature flight members who have had less experience with dominance. Yeah I get that it can be frustrating to feel like your flight's being accused of stealing dominance, but cut people some slack, not everyone's intention is to blame your flight, sometimes people who don't have the whole picture misunderstand the situation and comment stuff. (response to this post and this post)

2) regarding the DtB raffle update regarding extra tickets offered during frigidfin expedition, yeah I'm not going to lie, that probably could've been worded better by the organizers. I totally see where you guys are coming from. I think the intention was to incentivize stuff, but sort of implying that earth stole dom from you is probably not a great way to go about convincing people to help you. (response to this post)

3) also yeah not to be the devil's advocate or anything but just the way dominance works on fr means that earth exalting more dragons than usual usually bumps them up to first place. that's just how it works. if arcane flight was the smallest flight, the same would be true for arcane. it's not really fair to blame an entire flight for being small, and i don't think anyone is blaming earth for wanting to get money during frigidfin, but like yeah it can kind of be demoralizing to have pretty much the de-facto FR dom powerhouse flip you during a solo conquest, because that usually means that if Earth really wanted to, they could beat you without breaking a sweat. (response to this post and this post)

DtB Raffle Related Stuff

1) Some "confidential" behind the scenes information fresh from the Natdom planning discord, I will say that the whole raffle tickets addition thing was a pretty last-minute fix for a problem that we didn't expect. thanks OP for being understanding. (response to this post)

2) yeah also ngl, if I were an OOF person who wanted to participate in DtB and then saw that there was NO exalt payout for sending dragons, I would turn around and nope the fuck out, even if the badges were pretty. I totally get that. I want my dragon cash. in the future, one potential fix for this would be to just have the DtB badges available as a randomized extra you get for sending dragons into the raffle or the PB. Something to track on a personal spreadsheet like the randomized badges that Ice did for IvW years ago. maybe next year, I guess. (response to this post and this post)

TL;DR

Earth flight wants to make money (like any other flight does). It'd be illogical to fault an entire flight for wanting to exalt dragons for treasure during an exp bonus season. For people who are genuinely upset over the board flips during the week, because that the way FR dom works, Earth just has a slight game mechanic advantage, and that there were no ill-intentions or "evil Earth flight trying to steal dominance."  It's just how the game works lol. 

Nature flight wants to celebrate DtB, which has been a pretty longstanding tradition for Natdom. The shift from a fundraiser profit push to a conquest push is new this year, so adjusting the old badge-buying framework to a conquest push style has had its fair share of issues. Understandably, there was a bit of confusion and frustration within the flight regarding the board flips, but I genuinely don't think the majority of Natdom felt "entitled" to a win and "didn't want to work for it," it's moreso just no one expected frigidfin to fall during DtB, and the way DtB is structured really isn't a straightforward conquest push (which honestly should've been changed for this year but it is what it is.)

the tl;dr for the tl;dr

bro fr dominance just wacky like that lol. the wonders of miscommunication really do form the basis of epic drama and tea, but DtB is over. i'm just gonna pack it up and go home until the next push happens. 

also saltmins, if my links break i will throw fists. links in order if they break

1a) https://saltminerising.tumblr.com/post/703295074096807936/man-i-dont-even-think-the-nature-dom-post-read-as

1b) https://saltminerising.tumblr.com/post/703267464621981696/as-im-active-in-dom-and-in-earth-i-was-gonna-try

2) https://saltminerising.tumblr.com/post/703235930288488448/the-tone-nature-dom-used-in-their-post-about-how

3a) https://saltminerising.tumblr.com/post/703334083950952448/posted-p-much-the-same-thing-abt-the-earth-stole

3b) https://saltminerising.tumblr.com/post/703332820450525184/to-the-person-here-complaining-about-how-earth

1) https://saltminerising.tumblr.com/post/703335359972573184/why-are-people-calling-nature-entitled-when

2a) https://saltminerising.tumblr.com/post/703350533141004288/the-problem-wasnt-just-the-joke-though

2b) https://saltminerising.tumblr.com/post/703325260566675456/yeah-the-nature-thing-comes-across-as-so-entitled

[hiraya-rawr]

Hi not to be rude but I don’t know why In some of your posts you said straight ships are getting discriminated against ? Like Yh some toxic ppl / fetishisers will get angry at straight ships. However it’s kind of tone death to be acting like straight ships are getting this “massive backlash” when getting hated on is the norm for lgbt+ people and ships. like literal people get murdered for being gay so when you say stuff like straight ships are getting discriminated against no matter what your intentions where it’s harmful cause ur ignoring how on every TikTok / video with gay ships there will always be homophobia and that is normalised.btw this is coming from a person that doesn’t really care much for shipping and I’m bi / queer :) just wanted to let u know that straight + gay ships are valid but I think ur phrasing things wrong. Straight ppl have never been killed for loving the opposite gender it’s just weird to focus on this small group of ppl that say mean things towards straight ships when this kind of behaviour is normal for any gay person / ship to receive even if they are confirmed to be gay. once again being upset at the ppl who say mean things towards straight ships isn’t wrong but I hope ppl don’t word / say things that demonise gay ppl xx sorry if this is worded weird English Isn’t my first language I just wanted to offer a different perspective on things xx

hold on hold on, let me organize my thoughts in bullet points to make this easier for me to understand.

I'm assuming this is based on this and this post about straight ships getting hate :>

I totally get where you're coming from!

in no way did I mean to take the attention away from the main issue (homophobia); or brandish the issue of straight ships receiving hate; or blame the lgbtq for this

The petty "hate" for straight relationships is completely different from the discriminating and violent "hate" people have for lgbtq relationships

But I don't think there's anything wrong with my post pointing out how straight ships such as Jean/Diluc get hate for being hetero.

I simply wanted to voice out that JeaLuc was one of my first genshin ships

Hope this makes things clear. Overall, we're both on the same side of this and I see what you're implying

If I'm misunderstanding something (this is for anyone reading this) please do inform me!

[isthat--ethan77]

ok i’m thinking abt being aro and just i yearn for ppl i know i can’t make mistakes with and i’m constantly saying the wrong things and everything i’ve ever read or watched has always taught me that yes platonic relationships are important but romantic relationships are inevitable so everyone else will have this thing and i won’t bc i just don’t feel that. i don’t understand it. and people will misunderstand and misinterpret my want, my need for safety with people, people who know me and understand that my intentions aren’t to be mean whenever i say the wrong things. sure i can have close friends but they’ll fall in love and i’ll be left behind and i can’t be an equal priority any more. my future isn’t romantic bliss it’s just me living alone when all of my friends have moved on and out with whoever they’re with and maybe i’ll get a cat and maybe i’ll find an aro person to be best friends with and we’ll get married for tax benefits and also pretty dresses and wedding gifts but i just don’t know. what i do know is what i feel and it’s so blatantly obvious with my friends dating each other and ranting about crushes that this might be my future and i need to prepare for it and learn to be ok with it and that’ll take time which means i can’t be ok right now and

[tsunderedoctor]

Hey hey so I got a dumb idea. Imagine swordsman reader (lets make em gender neutral so all the lovelies can enjoy) who’s self-taught. While they’re confident in their swordsmanship, they don’t think it’s up to par with the greats due to their modest nature and also thinking the other swordsman are more awesome than them. But actually they are that good they just don’t realise that they are that skilful.

They might be able to give mihawk a good fight, so when mihawk sees them, he’s interested and wants to challenge their skills. Sadly he straights out attack them out of the blue once as a test and reader, blocking it without realising, thinks he’s here to kill them or sth, just guns for it because its the FUCKING GREATEST SWORDSMAN AND HES MAD AT THEM FOR SOME REASON AND THEY WOULDNT SURVIVE OH GOD RUNNNN.

Mihawk, seeing that they managed to block one of his powerful strikes is now eager af to fight them and proceeds to chase them down for a battle. Cue dumb misunderstandings as reader just keeps running from fights when mihawk appears and mihawk jumping in to suddenly spar with reader. Mihawk now travels around SOLEY to hunt down reader for a battle.

This can go either platonic or romantic, when reader and mihawks clear up that misunderstanding and finally battle it out and its legendary. But because Mihawks FINALLY has a rival and reader wants to do other things like maybe travel or help other ppl, the mihawk randomly coming in to fight reader and reader Not Having It dynamic starts up again, only slightly different.

Bonus: Shanks, who knows the two of them and meets them occasionally is having the best time of his life. He also pokes fun at Mihawk for being the absolute worse in properly communicating his intentions to reader. At one point he has pestered mihawk to come over to party with his crew while reader was on board to see what happens (before misunderstanding was cleared up).

There are no dumb ideas here, boo! Your idea is great and I love it, I'm very happy you trust me to write it!! I stuck to Mihawk’s perspective, so hope that’s cool with ya! (I also tagged my Shanks taglist cause he’s kind of in here-)

Mihawk does his best to communicate! But man, is a man of so many words! He’s a better nonverbal communicator!

Babe Below~!

Dracule Mihawk

He didn’t understand why they continued this game of cat and mouse, it was getting a bit old in all honesty. Staring at his cup of whiskey his “friend” poured him as they sat in the corner of a quiet bar, he questioned the ginger on the matter.

“I would run from you too if I thought you were out to kill me.” 

Confusion graced the darker head’s features, why would he want to kill you? That seemed a bit overkill and unnecessary in his opinion, he could have sworn when he challenged you to a sparring match you understood the terms, now he felt a bit silly.

Seeing the light blush of embarrassment grace Mihawk’s cheek, Shanks let out a roll of laughter, spilling some of his own whiskey in the process. 

“Don’t worry so much, Mi! I’m sure if you talked to them, without your swords, they will understand. Should I get involved in your lover’s quarrel?”

A glare was his only reply as he continued to laugh and Mihawk got up, not in the mood to deal with his idiotic behavior for the rest of the evening. As he headed back to his own living quarters, he stopped, seeing you enter the bar. You two held eye contact like a predator and it’s prey would, taking a step back, you made the first move. 

“Wait.”

Hearing the slight urgency in his usual monotone voice, you nodded and still kept your distance, letting the man speak. He hesitated, still a bit tipsy from his drinking, he did his best to coherently speak his mind. 

“When I challenged you, it wasn’t some fight to the death, rather I wanted to have a good sparring match, those are rare to come by these days.”

You blinked at the usual mature man, but was only given an awkward, shy mess. Thinking back yourself on the times you met, he never did pose a threat or come after you as you ran, it just surprised you a Warlord of all people would want to spar with you. 

Nodding, you smiled a bit and accepted his words, promising the next time they met when he wasn’t tipsy, they would have a fair sparring match. He nodded feeling better that they were able to talk, leaving you with a now drunk Shanks who chuckled when you sat next to him.

“So, when’s the wedding?”

“After your funeral.”

Tag List: @chloe-nanami @musical-apple @luxiditea @macdonaldsmanager @onepieceya @undercoverweeeb @pebbsie @athenaportgas @nephytale and whoever else wants to join in!

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Am I the only one who doesn’t get why some (tw) are shitting on Haru and Rin separately just for the fact that they reciprocate each others feelings? Because it’s not the feelings they wanted them to reciprocate? Just curious because I'm new and recently entered the fandom. And since when miscommunication in between means that they don't deserve to be happy at the end? Because you're an idiot when it comes to love, doesn't mean you're a bad person. I came from chinese bl and it's weird to me.

Hehe welcome to the madness, perfect time to join! Yeah, tbh that's the thing in the fandom that always bugged me the most. The fact that some act like if you don't reciprocate someone's feelings, it makes you a bad person. I always found it incredibly cringy when ppl in real life for example make ppl feel guilty for not feeling the same way and make you feel like shit bc of it. I don't get why you have to apologize for that or feel bad, if you never ever gave him any hope or anything in the first place.

Nowdays it's thankfully a rare sight already in this fandom, bc most already grown and see perfectly what's truly healthy and unhealthy, it's just tbh only the same 3 accounts ppl keep sending me that are still on that, who also think that Haru is literally possessed in the last movie so I don't see the point of like arguing with ppl like this. It's just they're always getting extremely angry when Haru wants Rin as if it's his fault that he feels this way and always go about it like he is inconsiderate of Makoto's feelings. Implying that they're mad that he doesn't feel that way about Makoto, while Makoto does. I'm same as @tododeku-or-bust for example said here (idk what fandom brought this on, but just in general) also do not get what's appealing about this kind of relationships in the first place.

If they shipped it in terms of like it's mutual I'd get it, but they go on about how Rin or Haru are bad friends bc they're not in love with their best friends... like ?????? I didn't know you owe it to your friends to have romantic feelings for them.

In real life if you found out that your bestie feels that way for you while you don't reciprocate, it's a burden, that'll make you feel uncomfortable and at times guilty when you shouldn't technically feel that way. So putting on someone a burden of "I was pining for you all along", when you know they don't feel the same is giving me this feeling of cringe. So I personally do not get what's enjoyable at seeing it like that in Free. But to each their own kink lmao.

It's like... is Haru at fault for the fact that he was Ikuya's first love too? I do not get it really. Like he doesn't have to take responsibility for everyone who falls for him and he doesn't owe anyone to reciprocate their feelings. Even to Rin. Like if he didn't feel the same way for Rin, it wouldn't be his fault either. But since he does feel the same way for him, it's like... good, great, happy for them.

Like once again if someone believes that Makoto and Sousuke are unrequitedly in love with Rin and Haru, that's not rinharu fault. Haru literally never ever lead Makoto on EVER. He never ever did anything that would make Makoto believe that they're more than friends. He was always honest about everything. Like when Makoto thought that he went out to see him, but Haru just wanted to see the sunrise, he told him just that. He never encoraged anything, he refused to live with him and never wanted. I do not get why it's supposed to be his fault that he doesn't like his friend in that way. If Makoto has some unrequited feelings for him and decided to hang up on this, it's his own life choice in my opinion.

It's like saying that Onodera and Takano for example don't deserve to be together just because they unintentionally hurt each other and got separated for 10 years bc of misunderstanding. This argument is like typical Yokozawa life position aka "but I was there when he left you heartbroken for several years, that means you MUST pick me". As I've said before, that's just not how it fucking works. And just bc they couldn't explain things to each other normally, doesn't mean that they don't deserve be happy now. Being idiots is not a crime.

Or if you came from chinese bl, lets go "Guardian" for example. Zhu Hong also was on about how "why you love Shen Wei, not me, I always did everything for you and I was always there, I even wore heels bc you once said you liked those etc". Like he never asked her to do this, he never gave her any hope, he was beyond rude and open about the fact that he's not interested, he never did anything to make her think she had a chance since the beginning. Just bc she decided to dedicate her life to false hope that maybe one day something might change is not his fault. It was her choice. Why Yunlan should feel like shit bc of that I do not get personally.

I'm just buffled bc like Haru for example is the most caring about other ppl's pain person, but they call him selfish and rude bc of the way he is with Makoto at times, not even realising that it IS in fact what means being kind sometimes.. to not give someone a chance when you know you don't feel it. I was always saying this like since forever, being kind doesn't mean for example giving everyone second chances, loving everyone, wanting to be friends with anyone etc. In some situations it's not being kind, it's being stupid or even not being a good person. Once again... offering someone friendship after he openly dissed your friend and you see that he's not in any position to talk back is not kind. Or if someone cheats on you constantly, but you always forgive them it's also not you being kind. It's you being stupid. Sometimes you have to be harsh. It's for the greater good.

And like I saw several times stuff like someone under scenes where Rin has his eyes for Haru only, commenting like "oh great, look at Rin being inconsiderate of Sousuke's feelings again. Can't believe you guys find this romantic." I mean, if in their opinion Sousuke is in pain from being Rin's friend, he can end it, it's his choice. It's not Rin's fault that he thinks of him as just his friend. So thinking that Rin is an asshole bc each time he simply hangs out with Sousuke he's a selfish bitch is fucking insane. I'd feel extremely bad if my best friend was seeing it this way for example. It's like hella ugly.

This annoys me also bc of the fact that Rin, the person who at the age of 12 single-handedly saved his family from falling apart after his father's death, who's an amazing friend to Sousuke and did everything to make his happy after he found out about his trauma and always checks on him first and cries about his shoulder, who in the late evenings taught Rei to swim, when everyone else gave up already xD, who was looking after Nitori during his training, who pretends to walk the same road, just because he's scared to let Gou return alone in the evenings, the most amazing son and brother, is suddenly an asshole just because Haru is in love with him, but not with Makoto. I mean, thats just... huh? Like I dont mind you ship what you want to ship, it's like to each their own crayons for real. But like dissing them and call them selfish just bc they only see their friends as friends and don't want anything more is weird to me.

As for the fact that bc of the misunderstanding they don't deserve to be happy, that's just idiotic. I mean, lets punish Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan too just bc Lan Zhan couldn't voice his real feelings back then and bc WWX misunderstood him. Lets ship WWX with Wen Ning instead. Nezumi is cancelled, he doesn't deserve to be with Shion. He left him. Takano should stay with Yokozawa, Onodera is trash. Wu Xie is trash for wanting to be with Zhang Qiling too. It doesn't matter why he leaves, it only matters that he always does. I can't believe he doesn't see that Pangzi is there with him all along xD. What an ungrateful trash of a human being I can't even.

And anyways btw both Rin and Haru are not ideal human beings in any way (otherwise I wouldn't love them this much tbh xD). But their flaws are definitely not what for example mh shippers usually blame them for. You can argue about their other imperfections easily. Like being stupidly stubborn for example. I won't point fingers here, Haru lolz. Or literally anything else.

My point is you can find what to trash them for logically, if you wanna. Do it smartly tho. Otherwise you make your ship look bad.

And I once again say what wise person said about his relationships and about the fact that not being able with someone he loves hurt him and 'why is he doing this to himself' he answered: "it's not on him. my happiness and my pain is for me to handle". Everyone decides for themselves. This is why for example Haru was so broken about voicing this to Rin and didn't have any intentions to tell him that in the first place. Bc it's not right, if you're not sure that it's requited. Technically he has no right to blame Rin for making him fall in love with him and then leaving in the first place. It's not Rin's fault really, that he made him feel what he feels for him, it's ultimately Haru's problem. That's why he feels has no right to blame him in the first place. I mean, he doesn't know that Rin feels the same, that means saying to him "you break my heart each time you leave" and making him feel bad about it is technically wrong. That's why Haru to himself said "no, please, don't say such things to him". Everyone for himself decides who deserves your 5, 7, 800 or 10000 years of your pain. It's your decision. It's your life. If Haru feels like Rin is worth it, then you have no say in that matter really. The only reason we call Rin an idiot or Haru an idiot is because we know they feel the same, so we can. But blame someone else for not feeling what you're feeling is not right.

So like even if you feel like Makoto and Sousuke have feelings for their friends, blaming Haru and Rin for having feelings for each other and not for them is beyond weird. And there's nothing wrong with putting someone you love first, every bro/sis gets it. You can say bros before hoes all you want, but like Lan Zhan might just drop his bro for his hoe, if he was given a choice. Would it make him a bad person? The fact that Wu Xie chose to save Xiaoge before Pangzi makes his a bad person? My point is it's not all that easy.

I just feel like many ppl in this fandom are very weird about many things. Either because they do not get what it's like to go through some things or maybe they just do not get that no matter how cheesy this sounds love is not that simple. I mean, for example not all selfish is bad, sometimes like in Haru's case for example not being selfish is also bad. Bc if he finally asks for what he wants, he will make both himself AND Rin happy.

To be angry at Rin bc of the aftermath of his father's death and s1 I never had it in me, after knowing everything and how adults handled it. If some of Sousuke's fans bc of Yakusoku and the fact that Rin found his salvation in Haru bc he helped him to move forward after getting his family out of this hell alone and that Haru was the safe haven that made him happy in this moment of his life, want to trash Rin for the fact that he "neglected" Sousuke, its like your opinion. I personally do not get it. Rin doesn't owe Sousuke anything. It's not his fault again that Haru's existence helped him to feel better.

Just like not everyone will get why Haru in 1x12 was so happy about the fact that he could help Rin. To be that special somebody for someone who can "save" you in moments of your life like this, especially if you love them is an incredible feeling. And no, your bestie isn't always the person for this job, no. I don't see why people do not get that I guess, that's all. But we all have our own opinion on everything, so...

We same as you do not get it since forever, but its like it is what it is in this fandom. I personally just have another life position on stuff, so I'm very far from that point of view they have.

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

https://matthewfairchildfanclub.tumblr.com/post/622613826051932160/okay-im-ranting-because-i-started-re-reading-the

What do u think about this? I'm kinda struck. I didn't read it that way? It didn't feel ooc to me? I am just stunned how many ppl agree with this because...thar entire thing was cardan and jude being dumb and sad and... Jude is a strong protagonist and ever scheming and persistent but she's...like human? She has feelings and is allowed to be sad??? Idk it's just strange to me

okay first thing's first: i'm not trying to start beef with OP (or anyone who agrees with OP). that is their opinion. they're allowed to have it. Jude and Cardan aren't real, but the person on the other side of that blog is.

second. i really only briefly skimmed the post because, honestly, it's the same argument i've seen everyone who doesn't like QON make. they think because Jude wouldn't burn down villages to get back into Elfhame after having her heart broken, she is, therefore, OOC.

let me tell you why i, personally, disagree with that statement. (TW: discussion of mental health and dissociation under the cut)

i'm going to split this into two parts. one is more anecdotal and the other is more character based.

as you point out, nonnie, Jude is strong. she is fierce, she is determined. but again, she is human. with human feelings. teenage human feelings, at that.

anyone who is not convinced Jude would feel pretty shit for a while after going through her first heartbreak is either too old to remember the rollick of teenage emotions mixed with the legless lord of young love, or they've simply never had their hearts broken before.

if the first, they're looking at Jude's situation with years of maturation behind them, years Jude doesn't yet have at that point. i think people forget this sometimes. Jude is just a teenager. and they probably want her to keep fighting because it's what they didn't do, but wished they had.

if the latter..... oh, my sweet summer child.

when i was young and in love (kind of) and then suddenly had everything ripped away from me within the span of a month, i honestly couldn't tell you what happened that summer. because i don't remember. i was backpacking but all i remember is sleeping well into the afternoon almost every day. lashing out at my friends for stupid shit. not eating. taking every chance i could get to isolate myself. being fine one moment, then in the next feeling like i was going to burst into tears out of nowhere. i had my first dissociative episode. it lasted for three days.

now, i'm probably not as scary as Jude. but i'd like to think i'm stubborn and spiteful enough to warrant some shadowy semblance. what i became was not who i or anyone else wanted or expected me to be. i wanted to be angry and rage and seek revenge, but i couldn't. people expected me to get over it, but i didn't. i was just stuck in this awful liminal place.

heartbreak isn't a single moment where your heart is shattered and then you immediately begin to pick up the pieces. that's unrealistic. heartbreak shatters you and then steals what's left away into a dense fog and laughs as you fumble around blindly on your hands and knees, searching for the lost pieces of yourself.

so, as nonnie pointed out, it is okay for Jude to be sad. it is more than okay. it's what we should expect.

okay, now on to my character based argument. to me, anyone who has this interpretation of QON has severely misjudged Jude's character throughout the series as a whole.

it's true, Jude might put on the facade of tough scary lady with sword–and sure, to a certain extent that is part of her. but Jude is not inherently wicked or menacing or unforgiving, even if she can be at times.

just because we can be a thing doesn't mean we are that thing. mere adjectives simply do not have the breadth to define us, your honours. we exist in multitudes, or however the fuck that Walt Whitman quote goes.

i'm not going to comb through the entire series for moments where Jude is not scary or menacing because, frankly, there are a lot. if you're not actively looking for the moments where she is terrifying, i think you'll see her kindness, her gentleness, even at times her grace, quite plainly.

i'd also like to point out that the times in which Jude is any of those scarier things are all when she is literally terrified for her life. it's a survival tactic. be scared or be the scariest thing in the room. easy choice from where i'm standing.

now in terms of Jude's exile, Cardan is a little dumb here, but not in the fanon himbo Cardan way. just in the normal "dude madly in love" way. by exiling her to the mortal world, he thought he was giving her what she wanted: safety and a clever riddle to solve. because she can't break, right?

he also sent her away for selfish reasons. her safety was more absolute in the mortal world and he couldn't risk losing her again. plus, he wanted to show off his cleverness, smug prick that he is.

but what Jude actually wanted were the things he promised her in his vows: to be the Queen of Elfhame, and, ultimately, him. she wanted a place to call home and Cardan by her side. he took the only things she truly desired in the world away from her by exiling. so yeah, homegirl has every right to be sad.

to close, i think people with this perspective of QON have the same view of Jude as Cardan once did, and it comes from a place of well-intentioned misunderstanding. he thought she could not break. so did the anti-QON crowd.

they were wrong.

–Em 🖤🗡

more thoughts on Emotional!Jude

more theories & analysis

[claireverything]

as a 12th houser, you are a ghost. truly

Wow. I will forever be amazed at how unseen we are as 12th housers.

I just had my weekly skype call with my family (yes we still use skype, don’t say nothing). At one point, we ranked all of us in terms of how emotional we are. The least emotional was my dad, which is very true. The second least emotional, was me. When my dad said that and everyone else agreed, I just smiled jadedly to myself. How hilarious. My family think I’m one of the least emotional out of all of us. 

I am, arguably, the most emotional person in this family. My emotions are enormous. I feel all of your emotions and more. 

I just wanted to use this as an opportunity to talk about how unseen we are as 12th house people. People cannot see us. They are unable to. My family, using a system that I introduced (i.e. astrology) to understand and explain ourselves to each other within the family, cannot see my emotional nature. They think I’m next after my extremely dry, earth-heavy dad. When everything I do is because of my emotions. I swim through my day in a sea of feelings in the very home that they share with me. They see me moving based off my emotions. My current chosen profession is an astrologer for fucks sake. I’m an artist. My IG is crazy. And they still can’t see that I’m emotional. 

Yes, I’m taking into account that all my 12th house placements are in virgo, and I have a virgo moon, so my emotions come out small as hell. But still, they can’t see me. Not even my immediate family can see me. I’m a ghost. A non-entity, a haze. 

12th house people are not seen. That’s why our experience of life is so bizarre. It’s like parts of us are deleted, or rubbed out on the whiteboard. There’s a pause - a gap - to ourselves. There are gaps in the way we are seen, even by ourselves a lot of the time. 

A part of me is saddened by this. It saddens me to hear that on the most-to-least-emotional ranking in my family, I come second to last. I’m the whole ocean, yet I am the second least emotional person in the household. But a part of me also rejoices in this gross misunderstanding. There’s a freedom in being hidden, especially when it’s not even your intention to be in the shadows. Nobody sees me. Not even my mother who birthed me. Not even my father, who raised me as his only daughter. Not even my brothers who I grew up with. (okay lemme say now that I do give my little brother a bit of credit. He, of everyone in my family, sees that I’m emotional. How much, we don’t know. But he sees my wateryness). But yeah, other than him, my family really don’t see me. Even though I’m right in front of them. I’m a ghost. A whisper. An afterthought. I will never be seen in my full light. And these days, I just dance in that truth. How freeing, to not have people in your business - to not have people in your truth.

But also, how lonely. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t lonely. I live for myself. I live through myself. I live with myself, only. 

To be a 12th houser is to be alone. Wholeheartedly and irrevocably. 

[remind me to talk about how strong we have to be as 12th house ppl]

[thedeadflag]

I’m so confused! I know it’s not your responsibility to educate me but in your post bringing awareness to the negative aspects of g!p fanfic you say

“Why do these g!p characters rarely if ever involve experiences reflective of trans/intersex women? Why are they so utterly cis and perisex-washed? Why do nearly all writers have zero idea that tucking is a thing? “

Doesn’t that answer your original question? The reason they don’t reflect those groups of ppl is bc g!p isn’t trying to represent those groups of people or else it WOULD be transphobic to limit them to one specific fetish right? it just refers to a canonically female character with the addition of a penis (I don’t argue the name “g!p” should be changed bc that’s a no brainer why that could be offensive). But the fanfic in general, how could it be harmful? I’ve noticed in my time reading it as a non binary person it’s given me great gender euphoria reading a reader insert where reader has a penis while being a femme representing person just bc that’s a reflection of my personal experience. I don’t see anywhere where g!p fanfic ever references or tries to emulate the experiences of trans or intersex people so how could it be offensive?

Sorry this is way too long I’m just very confused

I'm going to try and lay this out as politely as I can. It's after 3:30 in the morning here, so this could be a bit disjointed and rambling. More under the cut:

In real life, ~99.999999% of women with penises are trans women. Which puts us in a tricky situation of (A) being the only women with penises around for media involving women with penises to reflect back on, and (B) being in the lovely position of precious few people actually having had meaningful real life exposure to trans women, meaning (C.) all those stigmas and all that misinformation are going to purely affect us and it’s going to be uncritically gobbled up by the masses, since they don’t have any meaningful information to fill in the blanks with instead.

When we peer into the depths of femslash fandoms and see all these folks who aren't trans women writing about women with penises, and using cis women’s bodies as platforms for these penises, it’s the simplest thing.

I mean, some of those folks might actually be struggling and confused about why they’re into it, what the real appeal is, why they get off on it, why they might have some feelings about wanting a penis of their own…

…but from our vantage point, it’s really easy to gauge 99.99% of the time. We can generally see valid, legitimate yearning to have a penis pretty damn easily in a piece of art/writing, and we can also see when people who create this media are just hung up on a boatload of baggage and fetishization.

And 99.9% of the time, the creators are just hung up on a boatload of baggage and fetishization, and see trans women’s bodies as a perfect vehicle to tap into that, generally due to deeply held cissexist views that link us and our bodies and genitals directly to cis men, to maleness. As if penises are rooted in maleness and masculinity (which is absolutely not true).

And I have sympathy for NB folks (certainly TME ones who have reached out to me in the past about this) who might be struggling with that, but just because they’re non-binary, it doesn’t mean they get to appropriate our bodies and reproduce transmisogyny and trans fetishization in their attempts at feeling better. Shit doesn't work like that.

Because again, the only women with penises in this world, essentially, are trans women. Meaning any woman with a penis in media is a trans woman, implicitly or explicitly. Meaning that when people who aren’t us want to write us, intent doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter if it’s just the writer’s fantasy, it’s still going to attach a variety of messages directly onto us.

And more often than not, due to cissexism, those messages are linking us to maleness, to toxic masculinity, etc..

While I do want to believe they're a fairly small minority, a lot of NB folks in fandom spaces like g!p characters in part because they see penises as male and the rest of the body as female and think that duality is interesting and would be comfortable, and is a nice balance of “both worlds” or a nice position “between male and female”, but that’s a wholly cissexist, transmisogynistic view to have, and it’s one that absolutely cannot be supported without directing sexual violence against trans women and invalidating our entire existence. Certainly not all NB folks into g!p like it for that reason, but holy shit a fair bit of them do and it’s weird and wrong and fetishistic.

g!p emerged from the idea that women can't have penises, and drew on the transmisogyny and cissexism of tr*nny porn to structure that frame of desire and the core patterns and trends within these works. It's always been trans women's bodies being used as a vehicle, whether or not the writers of these fics are explicitly aware of it, because the trope itself still holds true to its original patterns and cissexism. It's not the name that's the problem, it's the content; changing the name would be a surface level change that wouldn't affect anything.

g!p objectifies women with penises (trans women). A woman with a penis is more than just a woman with a penis, but the use of the term and trope is literally to (A) remind people that women don't have penises, otherwise the g!p term wouldn't be needed if people actually accepted women with penises as women, and that (B) this is a story centered on a scenario where there's a woman with a penis, with key focus on that genitalia specifically. it's the drawing point, it's the lure, it's what everything is centered on. It is a means for folks to write lesbian sex while also writing about penis in vagina and getting off to it. It's also no surprise that the penises so clearly emulate cis men's penises in these works, that is by design.

As I’ve said many times before, if you’re only writing trans women’s bodies to showcase cis men’s penises, you’re not respecting the womanhood of trans women, and this ultimately has nothing inherent to do with penis-owning women, it has to do with (cis) men and their penises, because trans women are just being used as a vehicle to emulate them. When NB folks do the same thing, and imagining themselves as those g!p characters, they are ultimately embodying cis men, their maleness, and often toxic masculinity, in a way that feels safe and distanced enough for them, a shell that they often code as cisnormative due to their own unprocessed cissexism.

And trans women don’t deserve that.

You seem caught in the idea that if something doesn't directly perfectly reflect trans women, that it can't be linked to us., which ignores the long long history of media being used to misrepresent marginalized peoples and cast us in insulting, dehumanizing lights. You show a lack of understanding of the g!p trope and the long history of its usage across a few other names, even if the content and patterns remained the same. It shows a lack of understanding of tr*nny porn and transmisogynistic stigmas, which the trope draws heavily from.

I think we can all recognize that most 'lesbian' prn that's made does not represent actual lesbians, it's overwhelmingly catered to the male gaze. We can also recognize that this category of porn has led to a lot of harassment towards lesbians from cis men who at the very least want to believe lesbians are just like they are in the porn he watches, that lesbians just need the right man. Lesbians are being used as a vehicle for a fantasy that was created externally to them, and doesn't represent their realities.

It's the same kind of situation here. The way g!p fics play out overwhelmingly doesn't reflect trans women's realities, but they are inherently linked to us regardless, as we're the vehicles for those fantasies, as unrealistic and harmful as they may be.

g!p characters are built in our fetishized image that’s based on a deeply cissexist misunderstanding of us, of the gender binary, and of bodies in general.

I mean, when 99% of cis folks don’t understand how trans women tend to be sexually intimate… when they don’t understand what dysphoria is and how it works and how it can affect us physically and emotionally…when they don’t understand almost any of our lived experiences…then they’re not going to be able to accurately portray us even if they wanted to.

And I’ve read enough g!p fics where authors wrote those as a means of trying to add trans rep, but because they didn’t understand us at all, it wasn’t remotely representative, and it was ultimately fetishistic, even if there was an undercurrent of sympathy and a lack of following certain common g!p patterns there that differentiated it from the norm.

If g!p fics were at all about reducing dysphoria or finding euphoria, then it wouldn’t be explicitly tied up in the performance of very specific sex acts, very specific forms of misogyny and toxic masculinity, very specific forms of sexual violence and exertion of sexual power, etc.

But it is.

So the notion that creating g!p fics helps NB folks? Nope. It CAN certainly prevent/delay those folks from facing a whole boatload of shit they’ve internalized, and coddle them at the expense of trans women.

Because if it was really about bodies and dysphoria/euphoria, there would be a considerable push (allying with out own) to end our fetishization and to represent us in and out of sexual contexts with accuracy, respect, and care. Because they wouldn’t care what sex acts were performed and what smut beats were hit, they’d just want to see someone with a body like their ideal being loved, being sexual, connecting, being authentic, etc. Which very much is not the case in the overwhelming majority of g!p fics. That's what we want, and it's not what g!p writers want, it's nothing they give a shit about.

Like, a ways back I started doing random pulls of g!p fics from various fandoms and assessing them for certain elements to provide some quantitative clarity. I started on The 100 here, and did OuaT here. Never finished the 100 one since the results leveled out and stayed pretty consistent as the sample size grew, so I didn't really see the point in continuing any further after about 140 fics when the data wasn't really changing much at all.

Lastly, media influences people. I've read countless posts and comments from people who use fanfiction as a sex ed guide, in essence. Which is ridiculous, but I also know sex ed curricula often isn't very accurate or extensive in a lot of areas, so people take what they can get. Representation in media can be powerful, and when it overwhelmingly misrepresents people, that's also powerful. Just because fandom is a bit smaller than televised media, it doesn't make that impact any lesser, certainly not for those whose primary media intake is within fandom.

Virtually all trans representation in f/f fanfiction is misrepresentative of us. That has a cost in how people understand us, how people react to us, and how people treat us. Not just online, but in physical spaces, and in intimate settings.

I invite you to read that post you referenced again, or perhaps this longer one which is a response to a trans guy who seemed to feel something similar to you with this trope.

All I can do is lay it out there and try to explain this. It's up to you how you handle this. All I know is whenever there's a big surge in g!p in a fandom, trans women generally leave it en masse, because it's a very clear and consistent message that we're not valued, respected, and that people value getting off on us over finding community with us.

[plan-d-to-i]

Saw this person take that long ass ask where that anon was saying they want to "ask everyone jc stan what would they do if they found-" and then ramble that about how everyone has different interpretations and how mxtx wrote jc for different interpretations. And talked about how they see good in jc, and jgy and relate to them. (HELL I DO TOO BUT I DON'T RANT ABOUT IT) and some stuff about autism.

lolol

Dear different anon, that other anon was v nice to want to ask jc stans anything. tbh for me there's a huge line between jc stans and jiang cheng fans.

jc fans say things like: "jc is a little turd, antagonist but I do enjoy the character" or "jc went through some shit & I felt that, but that doesn't ultimately excuse the shit he pulled. I dig all the purple tho" etc. 👍

jc stans say things like: "jc's homophobic behavior isn't actually homophobic bc he's asexual/in the closet/hates to see two men hugging bc one was formerly his sect brother and this is somehow different from homophobia etc etc.". , "jc would be the best uncle to the child whose family he murdered", or "jc actually was doing the right think butchering up those Wen war refugees & his father would have been proud bc culturally/historically people used to love it when someone butchered a whole bunch of innocent farmers/old women/ a child and it's definitely something the narrative frames as a positive thing that we the reader should cheer on". 👎

Personally I don't feel jc stans have anything of value to add to my understanding of this story & the characters in it. I've been sent other fun rants about my posts but tbh their ire means nothing to me because my ego is not reliant on those I don't believe could contribute to my intellectual betterment. Idk I would find it infinitely more distressing if they like chewed something loudly in my proximity. Misophonia vibes!

I'm also aware jc stans think he inspires all this spleen bc he possesses infinite complexity as a character that leads to ceaseless misunderstandings on the part of his cold hearted antis of the deep, special, person that he is underneath the egotism, rage issues, gaslighting, torturing innocent ppl, homophobia, elitism etc etc. In reality they're 99.99% of the reason I've come to find jc truly insufferable at this point vs just a negligible side character/antagonist. I think the aggressive determination to pass his completely OOC fanon interpretation as canon has done irreparable damage to the good faith exploration of this story within the fandom and spawned infinite absurd metas that have no relation to the og text or intention of the narrative & author. When asked about her feelings re: jc mxtx called him a product. & that's exactly what he is. A tool to move the story forward. He's not the mc for a reason. Someone tell jc stans.

I do applaud you on what sounds like a healthy relationship w your enjoyment of this contentious fictional character though. I sincerely wish it was the norm not the exception. xx

[crossdressingdeath]

i really hate the fanon that wwx is irritating or that he annoys everyone and they’re forced to put up with it. there's no basis for it? leaving aside jyl and lwj (who are portrayed as the only ones who can put up with wwx), nhs likes him and respects him, wn loves him, any real annoyance wq has for him comes from his tendency to neglect selfcare, lxc's dislike was based on a misunderstanding, the juniors adore him and respect him including jl who was raised to hate him, (1/5)

mm still thinks of him fondly. even ppl who hate him seem to at least respect his competence, when ppl criticize him, it’s not about him being an annoyance, it’s about him “not knowing his place”. If he really does annoy them so much, why do they still hang around him? Why would nhs who makes a lifestyle of not doing things that he doesn’t enjoy actively spend time with wwx unless he liked him? Why would wq and mm who have probably spent their entire lives (2/5)

dealing with male entitlement think well of wwx unless they liked him? This is tied so closely to the ‘wwx is an oblivious moron and everyone who talks to him for five minutes wants to smack him’ trope. It’s such a flanderization of his character. Every person wwx annoys in canon, he annoys on purpose! He is doing it with intent to serve some purpose, be it insulting thm or getting back at them or whatever. In-world, none of the ppl he’s on good terms with know that wwx is a main character (3/5)

They don’t need to force themselves to be around him for plot purposes! If he annoyed them they would not have any reason to be around him! Okay, so he does his whole ‘xianxian is three’ routine with jyl, but it CLEARLY doesn’t annoy her! it’s their thing! It’s the way her brother comes to her for comfort and she provides it! And with lwj, lwj doesn’t just love him, he LIKES wwx so much. He genuinely enjoys spending time with wwx! (4/5)

In the extras, he joins in with wwx to prank some kids ( maybe not the best word, but idk)! He enjoys it when wwx teases him! He teases back! Every one of their interactions is filled with so much fondness! In the audio drama, you can actually hear the affection (my personal favorite is the bit where wwx is talking to lwj and then says ‘don’t talk to me anymore, I’m sleepy’ and when ‘lwj says okay he goes ‘lz I told you to stop talking ☹’ and lwj just huffs a laugh it’s just so soft) (5/5)

Additionally, wwx shows repeatedly that he can deal with ppl skillfully, get answers out of them that others can't. he definitely doesn't do that by annoying them. What basis even is there for this argument apart from the fact that jc claims that wwx is annoying? (6/5)

As far as I’m aware, the only person to call WWX annoying is... JC. Ah, well, there you go then, that’s probably why it’s such a thing.

But yeah, you’re right; pretty much everyone in the story clearly thinks very highly of WWX, or at the very least has a healthy respect for his genius. The only exceptions I can think of are WC and SS (and JC); even JGY is clearly very aware of WWX’s skills and does seem to respect him (just not enough to not cause his death). WWX is charming; remember that he is fourth on the list of most eligible bachelors, and everyone ahead of him is either running a sect or in line to run a sect, as is everyone we know of behind him. No known inheritance, no fancy bloodline, no sect to be inherited, and he’s seen as just as good a marriage prospect as sect heirs and sect leaders. How does that suggest everyone around him finds him annoying? MM thought of him highly enough to give up the place in a sect she worked so hard for in protest at the sects turning on him. NHS thought highly enough of him to bring him back from the fucking dead. Everyone who meets WWX with very few exceptions clearly at least likes and respects him! This thing where people act like the entire cast finds him an annoyance is... so stupid and a complete failure to understand his character.

[gayregis]

1/2 ngl i think many western witcher book fans make the series out to be way more progressive than it actually is. part of it is mistranslation ofc, like for example with the 'man was not made for monogamy' bit where the use of singular man is rlly misleading and it should be "a man" or "men aren't" bc originally it's just dandelion being a sexist cheating dick and not some openminded progressive the way ive seen this interpreted sometimes, But

2/2 there's a lot of plainly bad takes out there that i feel are partially an issue of just worldviews and circumstances. like obv its not some Enormous difference and im not saying that "hurr durr westerners Bad and Stupid" or whatever but in regard to stuff like lgbt issues or coding or feminism ive seen so many bonkers horrible takes that like. with my experience as a closeted polish trans homo are truly fucking concerning in how naive they are

(fucking 3/2 bc i can't count) but like. just from the top of my head the godawful girlboss femdom #feminism shit ppl pull with yennefer bc they cant admit shes not all that well written and that shes borderline abusive at times, people trying to make sapkowski out to be pro-lgbt which is fucking baffling with the blatant homophobic storylines/writing, the "GERALT IS CODED X" shit when hes a blatant cishet whiteman power/oppression fantasy rolled up in one like. idk im really tired and its a lot

(4/2 ok i SWEAR im done im sorry) like. i think what im trying to say is that i feel like theres a lot of like. kinda rose-colored-glasses type of naivety and a lack of understanding of how the general reality of life for women, lgbt people etc. is way different in poland and further east than it is in the states or britain or even fucking germany, so people just take very blatant bigotry and uncritically try to twist it to fit their western uwu pseudofeminism and whatnot

no, LITERALLY THIS. i think [mostly western] progressives on tumblr especially want and long to see  progressive messages or representation where there simply are not any, or where the messages that are there are largely milquetoast centrist and not actually saying anything radical. (this post i made is more specific to an aspect topic but it voices some of my opinions on it)

i think it’s of course fine to have separate interpretations of the characters / rewritten characters in your mind that you appreciate, but in order to do that you need to engage with the source material and acknowledge the reality of what is written on the page (for instance, what you said about yennefer being a #girlboss when in canon she struggles with characterization at times and especially in the short stories comes off poorly, almost abusive, and her and geralt’s relationship is definitely not some kind of #goals). 

i think that there are some redeeming features and it’s not all bad, everything is very grey - for instance, sapkowski wrote yennefer poorly when it came to her first introduction to ciri, but then her training of ciri that immediately follows it is much better. and geralt is a power fantasy in his heterosexuality and protagonist-isms, but spends the saga in turmoil over trying to protect ciri because he’s a good father. everything kind of blends together and does not just mean ONE thing only, because it’s understandable by many people. for instance, geralt being mopey and upset that he’s abnormal can be related to by MANY different types of people. 

i think the issue is when people state that characters are definitely “coded” one way or another (not like, actual canon relationships, like saying ciri is gay because she had relations with mistle... that’s a can of sapkowski-worms for another day... i’m saying, for example, arguing that dandelion is intended to be coded as gay because he wears colorful clothes or something like this). i don’t think it’s very valuable at all to look at the content and say “sapkowski intended THIS,” because i don’t find much value in what mr. centrist sells-the-rights-to-netflix had to say. i find value in what you have to say, personally, and what it means to you. 

sorry to speak about my minor again for like 0.2 seconds (it’s relevant) but it reminds me a lot of posts on here about ancient greece or rome that are like “ancient greeks and romans were GAY, we have ALWAYS BEEN HERE!!” like you really want to claim kinship with the violent imperialists who practice pedastry...? or posts claiming that X female figure, such as sappho, was a feminist. we call it an anachronistic interpretation: it’s a completely different time period, context, culture, and intention than what we understand in a modern sense. you can’t project your modern and western culture onto ancient greece and rome, because they are ancient societies.

similarly, i don’t think that you can take american feminism from 2020 and apply it to a fantasy series written by a polish man in the 1990s. you may reinterpret the characters how you so choose, of course you will have favorite characters and appreciate specific ones for specific things... but you cannot say that sapkowski’s intentions were specifically this or that as you understand them yourself in your own life, and you cannot do this with very many authors unless you are the author yourself. 

specifically for the witcher because as you said, there is a cultural misunderstanding: “[a] type of naivety and a lack of understanding of how the general reality of life for women, lgbt people etc. is way different in poland and further east than it is in the states or britain or even fucking germany.”  

i think in the english-speaking progressive social media circles currently for a few years there has been this very big hyperfocus on good representation for people of color, for women, for lgbt people, and in this quest for representation many are willing to overlook blatant bigotry in hopes of claiming another character ‘for the gays’ or whatever. for example dandelion hating on yennefer in a little sacrifice because she is old - i’m pretty sure sapkowski didn’t write this because he intended it to be like dandelion is gay and jealous of her! you can headcanon that if you like, but don’t claim that’s what it is and nothing else, because you need to acknowledge the misogyny present there.

i think it’s dangerous because you end up parading the original content around like it’s fantasic and progressive when it’s really not. i encourage people to have lgbt headcanons if they choose, but you really shouldn’t be saying it was sapkowski’s 100% intention to make this character X or Y because you really must take the writing into context with the author’s biases, life, culture, setting...

[fursasaida]

Would love to hear about all of the ways ppl misunderstand HG (if you feel like it)

i’m doing this as bullets bc i don’t have the oomph to like write it out properly

they think the socioeconomic specialization of the 12(+1) districts is the typical thing of like, “i will construct a wholly implausible society that’s about putting people in totalitarian versions of thinly disguised hogwarts houses so i can show how my heroine is Special and Unique” instead of like, a specifically elaborated form of oppression by the capitol that shows how aestheticized the political economy is. it’s not that most people in panem really believe everyone from District 4 (? IIRC) is suited as a person to fishing, or whatever. it’s that the capitol said “you produce this and only this for us, how much we value that commodity category determines your value, and that is all you are” and this is completely interwoven with the spectacle of control that is the Games. (the Games are basically a dramatization of territorial control but wah wah wah “battle royale ripoff” wah wah shut up.) it’s actually a very interesting political economy concept which i could go on about at length but i value my life

due to the above they think Katniss is supposed to go on the usual character arc of Doesn’t Fit In --> Discontent --> Dismantle the System and Be Happy

this causes them to complain both that she doesn’t change enough (first of all, she does change, just not in the way they expect; and second, the ways she doesn’t change are part of the POINT! this isn’t a story of personal transformation! it’s about political change!) and that she’s too like sad or limp or whatever later on. IT’S A VERY GOOD DEPICTION OF TRAUMA, SHUT UP.

they complain that the ending is “unsatisfying.”

of course the ending is “unsatisfying,” because the political change that occurred is incomplete and nuanced, and also, she still has all that trauma, there is a cost, the whole thematic backbone of the series is “internalize the externalities/make the invisible costs visible.” it’s the interplay between the hypervisibility of spectacle and the extraction of people’s time, bodies, wealth, relationships--their lives--that it both relies on and hides.

relatedly, people think katniss shooting whatsername at the end is some kind of unjustified twist. i don’t know what to say about this. i throw up my hands. WERE YOU PAYING ATTENTION AT ALL.

does anyone think about what the story is actually about? they do not. ("no one” is an exaggeration, i just mean the people i’m mad at)

the love triangle. oh my god. again people just take this as a “typical YA” thing of like, let me show how desirable and special my heroine is by having both the boys want her!! it is not that at all. Gale and Peeta stand in for different sides of her personality and respectively bring those sides out in her. her being torn between them is in fact where the “personal change” aspect of the story happens.

both of them are very strategic thinkers but in entirely different registers, and they value different things. she has much more in common with Gale at the beginning (on the surface), and her choice to see the value in Peeta’s way of thinking and do the very hard work of developing those capacities and responses in herself is her choice about who she wants to be and whether she values a reversal of power (Gale) or actually improving society (Peeta). whether being a ~rebellious hunter~ or being a caretaker (the reason, remember, she did the illegal hunting in the first place!) is more important to her.

they are both from her home district and people she’d known before the games because, again, these are qualities/tendencies she already possessed; choosing which to turn toward and develop in herself is the personal aspect of the political story.

and it is not a coincidence that it’s after the total dissociation and alienation she experiences in being made an aesthetic spectacle qua ~rebel by District 13 that she does the incredibly difficult, steadfast, further-traumatizing work of helping bring Peeta back to himself and so to her. the ending doesn’t happen without her whole process of negotiating her relationships with those two characters.

but these people don’t understand the ending anyway so i don’t know what i was expecting

this is called good writing and it’s an extremely valid way to develop and use supporting characters

god i could scream

Suzanne Collins’ origin story for this series, about channel-flipping between reality TV and coverage of the Iraq War, really just puts it all out there for you and these people ignore this! if they even know about it they just take it as like, “what if i put this thing on this other thing.” but she is getting at something very real with that! she is saying that both war and entertainment are spectacle-generating machines, fueled by inequality and the bodies of young people, that maintain power structures. (the big thing THG is really missing here is how this works internationally because there just aren’t any other countries in its world.)

[redacted: extremely over the top musing about race and class intersections in re: the unequal distribution of exposure to premature death and how intentional Collins was or wasn’t in getting what she got right right and what she got wrong wrong]

a few years back i was watching The Voice (leave me alone) and they had this whole ~storyline about a girl (i think 19 tops?) from a tiny, tiny rural Southern town, who was too stage-fright-y to perform to her potential. every week the judges would tell her she disappointed and every week her coach would save her because, he kept saying, he still had faith she could deliver. (she was fine but they had a Narrative to construct.) and then one week magically they changed up her makeup and clothes to make her much more overtly sexy, but in this like fucked-up babydoll innocent way, and lo and behold she discovered her confidence and wowed everyone. who could have predicted!!

I remember another contestant on The Voice who was literally there to try to get to a point where he would be able to get his family back into housing after flooding destroyed their home in i can’t even remember which (socio)natural disaster.

like that is just literally how the hunger games work. the promise is that this is a rare route to economic mobility. it requires a dramatic makeover, patronage, all of it. the makeover involves being essentialized as a citizen-type, a national subject that fits into a particular box (rural/urban, gendered, raced, etc--all of them are just entertaining backstories and narrative handles for the audience). this is a violent process, however visual and symbolic it may be via reality TV. it remains a process on which your odds as a contestant depend completely. and of course no one has heard from either of these people i mentioned since, because there can only be one winner; and even if you win, you can still lose the game of being a winner. no one asks what happens to them when it’s over, much like many people don’t really think about military veterans. if you think about the post-games life of the winners in THG, they are literally what you get if you imagine a military veteran and a D-list celebrity being the same person. reality TV already IS a gladiators’ arena where people ARE fighting for their lives. the violence is just sublimated. like i said. internalize and visibilize the costs.

(there is something here too, in the overlap of spectacle, about how the contemporary US treats its soldiers more as signifiers, high priests of civic nationalism, and/or sin-eaters than as people. similarly reality TV contestants come to stand for certain archetypes of the nation.)  

[thebluelemontree]

Is it wrong to say that Sansa uses an out of sight out of mind coping mechanism? I noticed it because it's what I do a lot. I know some ppl say she rewrites traumatic memories to make the memories bearable but it doesn't make sense. If that was how she coped, wouldn't she have been telling herself lies about Joffrey still in acok? Or found a way to erase/rewrite Marillion's attempt to rape her?

Yes and no. She does that except all the times she doesn’t. ;) I think that characterization is extremely reductionist (and ignores character complexity and  growth) when it’s applied that broadly to every situation Sansa has been in. You have to take these things instance by instance because they aren’t all the same. Sometimes that labeling doesn’t fit at all. In many cases, it feels more like the fandom pathologizing the act of romanticizing or trying to push aside or reframe something unpleasant or even traumatic when that’s just something most human beings do now and then. Some do it more than others, but its all within the realm of typical coping behavior and being older or more educated or more “logical” doesn’t make one immune to it. So I hope you don’t let those interpretations make you feel abnormal or more fallible for identifying with Sansa in that way. Romanticizing doesn’t even have to be about coping at all, but simply expressing desire through daydreams. People imagine being in idealized scenarios with crushes all the time.  

You also hit the nail on the head. Sansa just doesn’t go around making up false narratives about every objectively awful thing that happens to her. In fact, her actual responses to those moments can be a useful basis for comparison when we’re analyzing the unkiss, for example. Misunderstanding the unkiss is usually where a lot of these assumptions stem from. That’s a whole other can of worms in itself. The unkiss is just too long of a discussion to put here, so I just recommend this post as to the reasons why it isn’t about trauma and take a browse through my unkiss tag. It does bear repeating that Sansa factually remembers every scary thing that happened during the Blackwater and why it happened, indicating she has processed it honestly and critically, before any incarnation of the unkiss happens. The unkiss is a mismemory added on to the facts, which began as her being the actor that kissed him first. It’s not a lie to deny the facts or to excuse his behavior. It’s regrettable to her that Sandor was not able to be the person she could rely on to get her out of KL at that time. Nonetheless, this repressed desire is just so strong in her that it manifested in a kiss so real she could remember how it felt after the reality of his leaving KL for good sank in. 

Early AGOT Sansa tended to want to move past unpleasantness rather quickly. Just sweep those red flags under the rug so everything can go back to blissful harmony. Sansa is naturally averse to conflict and just wants her present with the royal family to be smooth sailing into a bright future. Ned had a very similar tendency when it came to concerns over Robert’s true character. He saw things that disturbed him, but he hoped and clung to his idea of Robert anyway. For Sansa, this resulted in some misplaced blame and rewriting events so she could deal with the aftermath. This is mostly seen in her processing the Mycah incident after Lady’s death and how her perception of all the characters involved shifted in varying ways. This is after she knew perfectly well what really happened, because Ned says Sansa had already told him the truth of what Joffrey did while Arya was still missing. However, it would also be unfair to completely chalk this up to Sansa’s idiosyncrasies. We have to put her flip-flopping in the context of the situation as well. She’s also experienced a gutting loss with Lady’s death and the fact that the first blow to her innocence was her father volunteering to put Lady down. She doesn’t have Catelyn to go to with her confusion and hurt, and Ned has largely been silent. She’s also still engaged to Joffrey through all this, this is still a patriarchy, there are political ramifications to speaking against a crown prince, and she doesn’t know how to deal with seeing such cruelty and vindictiveness in her future husband. Especially when he responded to her tender concern and wanting to help him with venom and hate. 

I mean, jeez, she’s 11. I don’t expect an 11 year old to understand how to identify the signs of emotional manipulation or see how this situation can escalate into domestic violence. Just because Sansa can’t articulate what is happening within her relationship with Joffrey, doesn’t mean she has blocked out any notion that Joffrey can turn his anger on her. Part of the reason she misplaces blame on Arya (and rewrites what happened) is because Joffrey turns scornful of Sansa for being a witness to his emasculating shame. He punishes her with the cold shoulder because she didn’t immediately take his side and pretended not to see instead. He regains power through making Sansa feel small and fearful of his moods. 

“He had not spoken a word to her since the awful thing had happened, and she had not dared to speak to him.” -- Sansa II, AGOT.

Sansa looked at him and trembled, afraid that he might ignore her or, worse, turn hateful again and send her weeping from the table. -- Sansa II, AGOT.

This is coming from someone who is supposed to love her and someone she will spend the rest of her life with. To fix things, she must be unequivocally on Joffrey’s side going forward or suffer the consequences, which we can see happening as her story completely flips over breakfast sometime later. This is not saying Sansa is fully exonerated from not supporting her sister when she needed her, but that it’s understandable how she arrived at this point. Even when things start to get really bad after Ned’s arrest, Sansa still holds out some hope that she can appeal to Joffrey’s (and Cersei’s) love for her to get him to be merciful. Is it really her fault she believed a part of Joffrey really loved her (and thus was reachable by her pleas) if he also heavily love bombed her and treated her like she was the most special girl in the world? Love bombing is a classic feature of the seduction phase leading up to abuse.  

So we can see Sansa does ignore truths and rewrite events sometimes and her personality is a factor; however, the context surrounding it matters a lot. Post Ned’s execution, Sansa does a full 180 regarding Joffrey and Cersei.

Sansa stared at him, seeing him for the first time. He was wearing a padded crimson doublet patterned with lions and a cloth-of-gold cape with a high collar that framed his face. She wondered how she could ever have thought him handsome. His lips were as soft and red as the worms you found after a rain, and his eyes were vain and cruel. "I hate you," she whispered. -- Sansa VI, AGOT.

Once she had loved Prince Joffrey with all her heart, and admired and trusted his mother, the queen. They had repaid that love and trust with her father's head. Sansa would never make that mistake again. -- Sansa I, ACOK. 

"A monster," she whispered, so tremulously she could scarcely hear her own voice. "Joffrey is a monster. He lied about the butcher's boy and made Father kill my wolf. When I displease him, he has the Kingsguard beat me. He's evil and cruel, my lady, it's so. And the queen as well." -- Sansa I, ASOS. 

There’s also her conscious efforts to push away thoughts of her dead family and Jeyne Poole, but she states why she does that. It’s traumatic, the tears start flowing uncontrollably, and she is desperately trying to avoid falling into another suicidal depression. Her survival in KL depends on her holding it together and appearing loyal and obedient to Joffrey. Mourning her loved ones would imply to Joffrey she is plotting treason. Besides, she knows that even if she did ask Cersei or LF about Jeyne, she has no reason to believe they’d do anything but lie to her face in a patronizing way. There’s no point being plagued with wondering what the truth might be when she can’t do anything about it. Still, she prayed for Jeyne wherever she might be. She genuinely thought Arya had made it to WF on the ship and was safe at least until she got word of her brothers’ deaths and her home being sacked by the Iron Born, though there was initially a touch of projection and fantasizing about Arya being free while she remains captured. As of Feast, she believes she is the last Stark left alive and she has no one but Littlefinger to help her. So while she is suppressing her grief, it’s done with good reason, and it’s not being replaced with any false narratives to cope. 

We also cannot ignore that her relationship to Sandor Clegane has instilled in her an appreciation for the un-sugarcoated truth now that she has experienced betrayal and injustice first hand. In his own way, he’s encouraged her to listen to her own inner bullshit detector. The rose-tinted glasses have become a lot more clear compared to where she started. This is a newly learned skill though, and her self-confidence has been wrecked by internalized verbal abuse. She’s also been left on her own to figure out people’s intentions by herself, which runs parallel to her mounting desperation to get out of KL as Joffrey’s violence escalates. Developing a touch more of a jaded, skeptical side does sometimes clash with her enduring idealism and faith in other people (like with the Tyrells). This struggle is not a bad thing. The goal isn’t to become as cynical as the Hound, but to arrive at an earned optimism that has been tempered by wisdom and practical experience.

Her situation with Littlefinger is much more challenging than anything she faced in KL. He moves her where he wants her to go with complex web of lies, manipulation, grooming, isolation, coercion, dependence, guilt and shame. Her safety and desire to go home are tightly bound to being complicit in his lies and criminal activities. She feels indebted to him for getting her out of KL, even though his methods push her past her boundaries and force her to compromise her moral integrity. The thing is, there are things Sansa does know about LF, but she doesn’t seem to be ready to try and put the puzzle pieces together. She’s not daring to ask probing questions about Lysa’s reference to the “tears” and Jon Arryn or about the possible dangers of Maester Colemon prescribing sweetsleep for Robert’s convulsions. While the subject of Jeyne’s fate is still one she doesn’t want to revisit, somewhere in her mind she does know LF took custody of her friend. If it feels like this is somewhat of a regression back to her early AGOT self, there’s probably some truth to that; however, it’s perfectly okay for positive character arcs to be an imperfect progress. There can be relapses, regressions, setbacks, missteps, and misguided actions. All that growth isn’t lost. Everything she knows is just stored in the back of her mind, not forgotten completely. The general trend line moves her toward successfully confronting Littlefinger with the truth when GRRM is ready to pull the trigger. She’s definitely aware of Littlefinger lying to her more than she lets on and she knows his help is not out of the kindness of his heart, but motivated by what he wants her to be to him. But it’s not like she has the option to go anywhere else, does she? She’s a wanted criminal with a bounty on her head and has no other friend or ally in the Vale she can trust with the truth of her identity. Confronting LF without any means of neutralizing his power over her isn’t the smartest thing to do when he’s shown her he can literally get away with multiple murders. Again, it’s not just her personality that makes her hesitant to pull back the veil and face the horrible truth head on. The outside forces pressuring her perceptions and behavior cannot be discounted either.    

[jaegerboob]

WIP ROUNDUP!!

i was tagged by @trashpocket​ (hey bae ;)) and since im lonely here on tumblr and have no one but the void to yell at, i won’t be tagging anyone :((

okay let’s start off with my published WIPS lol i have quite a collection and boy do i regret posting most of these, but anyway that’s here’s my hot girl shit

"i’ll figure it out with a little more time” - (if u knew me at my thai BL phase no u didn’t :)) anyways this was a supposed to be a pretty short fic that features an oblivious Sarawat not knowing how to navigate his feelings towards Tine and Tine being an equally giant dumbass. their school is hosting a school dance and Sarawat’s emotionally constipated ass doesn’t know how to SPEAK and just ASK Tine to go w/ him. i swear i might be the author of this story but i also get mad at these fuckers

“we’re boyfriends?” - ah yes another Thai BL fic, i will admit. i have NO idea where to take this story lmao. i still wanna finish it tho cuz i hate disappointing ppl. the fic starts with Ae and Pond making a dumb bet so Pond will stop jerking off in their shared room and promises that he won’t do that as long Ae dates someone random and based off of Pond’s choosing. sweet bby Pete wanders into their campus accidentally  and gets picked. Ae does the deed and tells Pete they’re dating. Ae thinks that Pete and Pond are scheming to make his life a living hell but lo and behold Pete has actually fallen in love with him (heheheh) 

“i wanna ruin our friendship” - hello lgbtq+ community :). we all know where this fuckin title is from don’t be sneaky. so here’s my KilluGon college fic. I initially wrote this like two years ago and uploaded it on wattpad lmaooo then i edited it and posted on ao3 and once again i have no idea where to take this (ive forgotten what my original idea for this was lol) so basically Killua and Gon are really close friends and Gon is sortof a player in this AU idk why khdkadha but anywayz all of Gon’s exes have left him bc they’re jealous of Killua but Gon would never pick his current S/O over him so HAAA. it all goes to shit tho when Retz decides to trick Gon to taking her back for the school dance and idk what path to go for T_T 

AIGHT now for my UNPUBLISHED WIPS buckle up yall this is a LOT. all the titles are WIPS so that’s why theyre iffy lol

“pussy talented”- (don’t mind the title lmao i just wanted a cat pun in there somewhere) basically, Bokuto is a firefighter and Akaashi an editor. They work near each other and Bokuto often visits Kuroo, who works with Akaashi. Ofc Akaashi falls in love at first sight but then he overhears that he has a "Kenma" waiting for him at home. Akaashi assumes that he's probably Bo's boyfriend and then leaves him alone, making Bo confused as hell. Little that he knows that Kenma is actually a grumpy calico cat.

“killugon flower shop AU” - Wing owns a flower shop and Killua helps out with Zushi along with Alluka out of boredom and one day Alluka asks Killua to help out with her client then he meets Gon and is immediately smitten until Gon says that he's looking for something that he can give to a girlfriend (it was actually Ging's request lol), lots of misunderstanding, Killua being too shy to ask the handsome stranger out and Alluka and Zushi being done with his shit 

“rice isn’t the only thing getting crushed here” - Osamu falls in love with one of his most loyal costumers—Akaashi and he thinks he might just have a shot at it until one day while Akaashi is ordering a bunch of riceballs, Bokuto Koutaro of Japan's National Volleyball team enters the restaurant and sweeps Akaashi of his feet, unexpected angst and a generous helping of unrequited pining :)) dw this fic can go two ways: Bokuto is just Akaashi's best friend who he hasn't seen in months or b. Bokuto is actually Akaashi's fiance maybe i’ll write both endings heehee

“killua is sad and gets lovebombed” - while staying in Whale Island, Killua thinks he that he doesn't deserve Gon and tries to leave him while he's asleep but his plan is stopped when Gon wakes up and they both end up revealing their true feelings for each other

“excuse to write charles getting fucked by two delicious men” - Erik and Charles have been in a relationship for years now and basically fell out of love so when Erik gets promoted and has to move, Charles agrees and so they break up. Charles turns to Logan (who harbors a giant crush on Charles) for companionship and sleep together once. Logan says it was an accident but Charles wants more and they establish a FWB situation of sorts since Charles isn't ready yet. But then Charles gets into an accident and can't remember what happened the past year and a half so he still thinks he's with Erik. Meanwhile, Erik is living a luxurious yet empty life and when he gets the call from Raven about Charles' situation, he immediately goes back running.

“killua in whale island” - KilluGon are like 20-ish and Killua visits Whale Island and Ging just happens to be there as well. Killua thinks about how even though Gon and Ging are near identical, Gon just looks so much more handsome. (probs just a oneshot) 

 “another horny cherik fic” - Charles is a demon who was accidentally summoned when Raven, Hank and Ororo uses Erik's blood to perform a demon summoning ritual (as a joke) they didn't know it would actually work so now Charles is stuck with Erik because the human absolutely refuses to sell his soul

“IwaOi overboard AU” - Oikawa is a rich pretty boy and Iwa a college dropout who works at his uncle's repair shop with his younger brother Tobio and cousin Kyoutani ( both 5 yrs old). One day he gets called over to fix one of Oikawa's cars and after a failed and disastrous encounter with a drunk Oikawa, Iwa leaves the mansion fuming. Later in the day, it's discovered that Oikawa got in a car crash that took away his memories and since Oikawa apparently lives alone, he has no one to get him. not until Iwa comes ofc and with a malicious and vengeful intent, he tells Oikawa that they're dating and live together in his crappy apartment

“dancer Akaashi” - Akaashi is a dancer, Osamu is a bartender at the bar he works at and has also been in love with Akaashi for the past two years. He doesn't confess since he knows Akaashi doesn't like romance but then enters a bright eyed cheery Bokuto who sweeps the unreachable Midnight Moon off of his feet, bokuaka but im leaning towards bokuosaaka since akaashi deserves two boyfriends

“watch me be poetically horny for Akaashi Keiji” - Akaashi is a vampire and Osamu, a skilled artist. Akaashi posing nude and delighted at how beautifully Osamu portrays him. Osamu says otherwise. 

Cherik College AU - drift by great gable.... late teens cherik... Erik being a misanthropic horny bastard and Charles a snarky piece of shit.... they get paired up for 7 minutes in heaven... turns out Charles has been ogling him for a while now..  hmmmm,,,.,. ( i wrote this when i was drunk and my og draft is too long so take this instead lolz) 

“ BokuAka (NSFW) ” - Bokuto pushing off a guy who tried to hit on Akaashi while they're at a club. Akaashi gets so turned on he immediately drags Bokuto to the bathroom where he gets his facefucked in one of the bathroom stalls or Akaashi getting his face fucked in a dirty alley at the back of a bar after Bokuto gets into a fistfight.

“KuroKen (NSFW)  ” -Kenma does top during sex but but he's just really lazy to put in the effort 

aight that’s it oh damn i just now realize how much i have T-T bruhhhhhhh and this isn’t even all of them damnnn