#I don't know why I'm typing this out?

[poisonandpages]

So my sister (who is training to be a therapist) and I were talking about how sometimes when people are abused young, they have this experience later in life where they go "Oh... I think I was abused!" Sort of like Bob Belcher going " I just realised I had a bad childhood!". Not just thinking what they went through was normal, not just the brain going "That was traumatic so I'll forget it", but a sort of combination of the two where they see "Things that are abuse" and "Things that happened to me" as two entirely separate things that could never overlap until they do. And it sort of lead me to have this kind of... epiphany? Remembering a repressed memory? I'm not sure exactly what it was and it's horrible but I think it might help me in a weird way.

When I was approx 10 years old, two of my cousins nearly killed me.

I don't think they meant for exactly that to happen, but the way they were "playing" was...I don't know. Cousin 1 was a known sadist the same age as me who loved hurting weaker kids while charming adults so he'd never face consequences. Cousin 2 was a follower a year younger who'd do whatever the other one said if it meant being spared. So they had some fun together by pinning me down, putting pillows over my face, and jumping on my head. I screamed and screamed but they didn't stop until I pretended to be dead and went limp. And they didn't stop because they were concerned, they stopped to laugh.

So in tears and with my head spinning from suffocation, I went downstairs to tell the adults and they just. Stared. Looked at me with the most blank expressions anybody could have and just stared. Shrugged. Told me to sit at the table as dinner was ready. And the wildest part is this was not the worst thing they ever did (this is the same set of people who essentially psychologically tortured my siblings for years and isolated my uncle to the point where he hanged himself and then pretended they were super close at his funeral).

And I realised something today. While I've been aware of my own mortality for as long as I remember, I think this was the first time I had the thought that nobody would care if I died. My birth mother's family weren't the first people to be cruel to me, but I think they were the first people to put that particular idea in my head.

Which is. Awful. But now I think of it that actually kind of makes the idea that nobody would care easier to dispute? Obvs I know logically I am cared for and multiple people would miss me. But when I have my Really Bad Episodes it's a thought that pervades, that people would get over it quickly if I killed myself. Now though, imagining that the source of this thought is my cruel aunts who have done many extraordinarily horrible things, I think I might be able to fight back against it next time. Nobody would care? Untrue. My aunts and cousins wouldn't care, and that's because they're horrible people who cause nothing but suffering to anyone who knows them.

So. Yeah. I remembered something horrific that happened to me and I hate knowing that my relatives are still out there facing no consequences (as far as I'm aware, we haven't spoken in over a decade). But I think this might actually be good for me going forward, in a way.

[icewindandboringhorror]

What would you choose? :0c

(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)

[cerise-on-top]

Can I please request Ghost with a s/o who is very comforting and protective over HIM?!? Like I love seeing Cod characters protecting and being the readers shoulder to cry on, even if they know you can handle yourself, but I wanna comfort my boy ♥️♥️♥️

Hey! Of coure you can! I really enjoyed this request, thank you very much! I'm just very soft for Simon, but I think that much has become obvious by now, haha!

Ghost with a Comforting and Protective Reader

More so than anything, he’d be surprised. He’s 1,95m tall, muscular and brooding. And yet here you are putting his face in your hands, calling him the most handsome man you’ve ever met. It’s not unwelcome, just not something he ever thought he’d have in his life. He expected to be the big, scary protector of his partner for the rest of his life, but having someone want to take care of him like that? Don’t get me wrong, it feels nice, but it also feels somewhat weird to him. He should be the big scary guard dog. While he may not be good with feelings, either his or those of others, he could always lend a listening ear. And yet you kiss his scars, reassure him that you will always stay by his side, no matter what and will tuck him into bed even. At first he doesn’t trust any of this, thinking you to be too nice to him, but eventually he’ll realize that there are no ulterior motives, that you are just like that towards him. And after some time, he’ll start melting into you, growing to trust you more and more each day. Simon would become a bit softer with you, would walk through fire just so he can see you smile. But you reassure him that no such thing is necessary. He may not ever be sure when it would be appropriate for you, but he’d come to crave your touch more and more as time goes on, even going as far as trapping you in the most tender hug he can muster. Sometimes he fantasizes about laying his head in your lap with you playing with his hair a bit, but he wouldn’t admit to such out loud since he still has his pride. You being protective over him would also be weird to him. He can handle himself just fine, so why are you getting mad at the cashier for the pickle in his burger? Why are you arguing with the drunkard wanting to start a fight with him? He won’t know what to do, no one’s ever protected him from anything ever since he was a little child. It would warm his heart a bit and make him appreciate you even more. Sure, he can do just fine on his own, but he’d be lying if he said his heart wouldn’t skip a beat whenever you’re being protective over him. If he could, he’d just pick you up bridal style and carry you home, but you’re in public so he’ll only think about how much he wants to be your little spoon this entire time. He’ll let his guard down around you and show you that he, too, can be a softer guy underneath his rough exterior with in the most domestic ways out there. He’ll think about marrying you immediately once he’s aware that he’s essentially become a softer man thanks to you. But he’ll wait still until he’s sure you’re on board as well.

[bixels]

When I was getting my diagnosis, my psychiatrist told me right after giving me my prescription that I need to consider eating food a part of my medication, and that flipped a switch in my brain that oh. Maybe willingly starving myself and eating only one meal a day isn't healthy.

[hood-ex]

Trying to inject confrontational Dick in my veins so I can quit my job.

Outsiders #21

[front-facing-pokemon]

[necrotic-nephilim]

for the ask game

tim creates a clone of kon, but this is dicktim tim has to carry the fetus or breastfeed it, but dick suddenly gets a mommy kink and immediately falls in love

for the ask game!

DICKTIM MOMMY KINK. how did you know i have such a thing for just about any Batcest ship where the other person calls Tim mommy. i don't even know why i just think that shit is so fun.

it'd have to be Omegaverse for me, that's the only scenario i personally could write m-preg. i like the thought of no one knowing that Tim has gone on this crusade. and after 99 failures, Tim's so desperate and angry he tries in vitro fertilization. the first few times it doesn't work so he doesn't take it too seriously, at this point it's just a compulsion. he gets to a point he stops taking the pregnancy tests. so when about a month later, he's experiencing morning sickness and he's missed his heat, Tim has an 'oh, shit.' moment. and well. telling Dick first is his *natural* answer. (i think he'd also go to Steph, but in canon she'd be "dead" at this point) Tim doesn't know what to do, he didn't think he'd get this far. Dick is comforting and grounding, agreeing to help Tim hide this the best he can. Tim has to time it right, fake a bad injury so it makes sense he's benched and wearing baggy sweaters for a few months.

it's platonic at first. Dick is an alpha but his bond with Tim is more of a pack bond and he's just trying to help Tim through this awkward situation he got himself into. (and not laugh at him too much in the process bc well. only Tim. only Tim could manage this.) the pregnancy hormones have Tim all over the place. he's seeking comfort and Dick is trying to keep it platonic and professional, even when he's cuddling Tim or bringing him weird cravings at 2 am. the trust in Dick and Tim's bond makes Dick Tim's only real support system. (also just bc the Titans were a goddamn mess in this era) maybe at some point they tell Bruce the truth but Bruce is dealing with Jason so. bigger fish. it forces them closer as Dick is the only one who can help Tim with the awkward sides of pregnancy. Dick is basically living with Tim and because Tim can't satiate the itch to be in the field (he's tried sneaking out, it earned him a lecture from Dick and a warning that Dick would handcuff him to the radiator if Tim tried that again) so Tim runs comms. for anyone who asks, but mostly for Dick, to the point he's in Dick's ear even when Dick doesn't need the backup, just to keep each other company.

i think, as the pregnancy went on and Tim's chest started to fill out and his hips are bigger, that's when Dick's feeling shift. one second Tim is just his pack, the next Tim is suddenly a very pretty, very vulnerable omega that's Dick is protecting and his wires get all kinds of crossed about it. he starts dousing himself in scent blockers so Tim doesn't notice the change, can't smell how much Dick wants him. which makes Tim annoyed because Dick's scent has been a consistent calming factor keeping the worst of his hormones in check. it'd lead to an awkward fight where Dick is dancing around the truth and Tim just wants to bite him out of anger. finally, Dick admits it and. Tim kind of bluescreens bc sure he's had a crush on Dick for years, but it's sort of like your celebrity crush calling you up and asking for a date. it makes no sense and he can't wrap his head around it. he almost thinks Dick is making fun of him, because Tim is super self-conscious about the pregnancy and mortified he put himself in this situation. it takes a lot of reassurance and a long conversation, but. well, they do end up having sex.

Dick doesn't *mean* to call Tim mommy the first time. he knows Tim hates being emasculated as an omega, and knows Tim is vulnerable about being pregnant. their sex is gentle, no matter how much Tim insists he can take it because Dick doesn't want to hurt the baby, or Tim. it's when Tim finally huffs with annoyance and flips them over -reminding Dick that Tim is still trained and deadly, even like this- to take control and actually get the rough sex he needs right now, when it slips out. there's something just very pretty about Tim taking control and taking what he needs from Dick, but still being whiny and squirmy on top of him. so the first time Dick calls him mommy is an accident and they're *both* startled by just how much they like it. their sex life goes from soft and caring to *very* interesting overnight, where Dick doesn't hide how much he likes Tim's chest. and well. breastfeeding kink. for completely scientific reasons, of course. just to help the milk flow and make sure Tim's body is adjusting well. definitely not bc of the noises Tim makes when Dick does it no sir.

when Tim finally has the clone baby, they're both smitten with this tiny clone. i think they'd end up mating and either say it's Dick's baby or they adopted it. (the lie only works short term bc well, sooner or later that baby's going to start lifting trucks. not to mention Kon does come back to life and is perturbed by how much Tim's kid looks like him.) it's a very cute, fluffy happily ever after sort of deal, with plenty of mommy kink. i think Tim would be huffy and annoyed at how long he'd have to wait for sex bc in my mind, Tim uses sex as a stress relief and is very annoyed when he's deprived of it so, they'd find creative ways around it.

[softpine]

i like how we all collectively agreed that covid does not exist in any of our sims stories

[doubleedgemode]

A.B.A's chains-A Guilty Gear analysis

I heard that in the spanish version A.B.A's title of "lovingly latched on homunculus" is translated as "homúnculo encadenado por el amor "(homunculus chained by love) which aside from being a fair translation serves to highlight A.B.A's recurring chain motif, either of real or metaphorical chains.

Out of the way, of course, we have Paracelsus's old chain though of course that's more a motif to him and his story! But in a lesser way you could argue its hers too as it is she who holds the chain.

And of course we have to mention her arcade mode quote of (from memory, sorry for innacuracies) "the shackles of affection are still shackles" which, yes! This is too related moreso to Paracelsus! but its her realization. And a pivotal scene for both.

Lastly, this is more my speculation but you know the gg Isuka xbox cover where her gloves say "Alice"? Part of me wants to believe it's an Alice in Chains reference because.. you know. Guilty Gear.

Whatever, this all plus the hypocrisy she has exhibited about Frasco and Paracelsus make for a really interesting leitmotif. Not as big as the key, frankenstein or even blood ones, but a subtle, present one, imo. A chain motif. Both as the chainer and the chained.

I say hypocrisy because well, she saw Frasco/Flask as her trap (fun fact, the name is prob a reference to Paracelsian lore of homunculi having to spend their early stages in a flask or else they'd die) and she desperatedly wanted freedom, she knows so well how is it to lack autonomy but when she obsessed over Paracelsus she was doing that to him. Hell, while the XX endings aren't canon afaik, we see her bad ending. Just like how other characters in the game make a heel turn or die (I'm oversimplyfying it but you get it) the ending where she keeps human Paracelsus chained (that one ending is... Something) even more crassly than before. She's not the victim here, it's him, but if we follow the metaphorical chaining thing then she has also chained herself very strongly.

As we see in Strive, either always or at some point she realized her doings were wrong... Yet kept on doing them. She's indeed chained to (her unhealthy idea of) love (and her other obsessive mindsets).

Of course, Paracelsus is not innocent, either. This is an A.B.A centric post but of course I have to mention him!! As we see in Strive and, regardless if it was due to his demon nature or simply willingly being a bad guy he was also metaphorically chained before knowing A.B.A... chained to his thirst of destruction and recklessness. And we know he tried to manipulate A.B.A even if he fails and starts to legitimately care about her.

Both of them are chained. Chained not as a good term but as a detrimental one. Chained to eachother, yes, but also to themselves, to their own chains, shackles of obsessions. With A.B.A especially, we know for sure she has managed to escape previous chainings but she keeps getting into them. And that's scary, almost.

But this is Guilty Gear and there's hope and freedom (ha.) so Strive has this beautiful conclusion (or rather new beginning!) to their story, and, while we have seen Paracelsus improve before, maybe A.B.A's won't be linear. But she legitimately, against all odds, WANTS the situation to be better, and both have gotten a better understanding of the other and like Paracelsus said, they can make it right, now. Now what they have with eachother is less chaining and more bonding and dissolving of a healthier kind as partners, be it as lovers, friends or whatever.

The chains are broken now, it's a new beginning.

[buttercup-barf]

The Mario movie was cute, best scenes are the ones with the bros just being. Bros.

Peppino is their cousin. That's it, that's the funny.

And per tradition? I guess? Some more (unfortunately Mario-less) doodles under the cut.

... Yeah. Twinsomnia again. These damn sibs are still on my brain. They're here to - Oh? Oh, Peppino's not a kid? They had the wrong address? Oh well. Might as well help him get through the tower!

Something-something functioning as a single character, something-something throwing each other around, something-something basically Gus and Brick.

Some more self-indulgent crossover'ish nonsense...

Same mirror, same man, different time, different reflections. Shoutout to @/rascal-rose for the idea of young Peppino having curly hair!! I cherish him.

And some wholesome stuff to top it off. (I feel like my handwriting is especially bad on the last one, so just in case, it goes "Buongiorno, ranocchio. Do you want the coffee?".)

[milolovesbmc]

Gruesome Playground Injuries except House is Doug's doctor. That's it. That's the post

[softerhaze]

[thatonecrookedsmile]

"There's nothing wrong with dreaming. Wishing for the impossible is just human nature. That's how I got started. Just a pencil and a dream. We all want everything without even having to lift a finger. They say you just have to believe. Belief can make you succeed. Belief can make you rich. Belief can make you powerful. Why with enough belief, you can even cheat death itself. Now that... is a beautiful, and positively silly thought." -Joey Drew.

[OPEN YOUR EYES]

-Line-

-----

I mean, at the end of the day, he wasn't so wrong about that last part.

This one also took a little longer to finish. I wonder why /s.

I usually don't like drawings where I have to create a design for a character I've never drawn before. It ends up making me force myself to come up with ideas and sometimes I end up not liking the design anyway. At least this time? That didn't happen (thank goodness).

At first, I didn't know what to do for this prompt. What I originally conceived was a more "joke" drawing with Joey and Sammy, with Sammy literally drawing the line between him and Joey with a big pencil. No big deal, right? But then the phrase "end of the line" came to mind and then… this happened. Funny. A while back I had an idea for a drawing about Joey's afterlife. The idea was much simpler, from what I remember. And compared to what we have, quite different.

"Death" is what came for Joey, and it's what comes for everyone. What he faces is nothing less than what will determine his fate. It is the very Arbiter itself - the eye that sees all - who decides where souls whose lives are over will go. The heavenly gates in the great beyond? The burning flames in the darkest pit? The void of vast nothingness? Somewhere else beyond? Reveal your soul and the Arbiter will decide. I have a certain guess as to where Joey is going, but I'll leave that up in the air.

Maybe I thought just a little bit too much about a character that I probably won't draw in a long time,but i don't mind giving a little lore even to characters that i don't see using much in the future, you know.

(Also, since I used Joey's audio log from BATIM CH3 in the beginning, did you know that Dave Rivas (Joey's current VA) did his own reading of that audio? He's going to be a guest on the Indie Horror Talk Podcast, and the video they posted teasing Dave's appearance there has him reading this same audio log, only with his Joey voice. So now we have Joey's first audio log in the series voice acted by both his first VA (David Eddings) and his current one. I thought that was cool, you know. I found this out a while back and wanted to talk about it for a sec.)

(Alt. without the text):

[pa-pa-plasma]

you just made the scientific discovery of the century & you want to tell everyone & your kids are first on that list but you can't find them. you manage to get a hold of your daughter & she says everything is fine but her voice gets tight when you try to mention your work & she sucks in a breath & says she won't keep you from it any longer than she already has & doesn't say bye as she hangs up the phone. you have a sinking feeling in your gut & you really want to get back to what you were doing but. something's wrong. where are your kids. why was your daughter not surprised when you told her. why was she so quick to hang up on you. your husband has the same type of mind & that's probably why neither of you can ignore this odd turn of events & so you decide to track them down. the research can wait. after all, the spook got away somehow afterwards. it's not like you have anything to go through but data & recordings.

[fuckmeyer]

girl please, Charlie Swan is Team Werewolf and you know it

[vimbry]

kinda related, I reblogged a poll not long ago about if you have celebrity crushes and how you define that, where one of the options was: "it means I fantasise about having sex/a relationship with them." and people in the notes were like ewww, who does That, that's weird. which. huh. the amount of people agreeing with that sentiment struck me as odd. that's a very normal experience lol.

it's literally just a fantasy. it Could be a problem if it were maladaptive or developed into something parasocial that affected your actions in reality, but not inherently. daydreaming about people you find attractive is fine.