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kindiekritz · 4 years

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Get Some Rest, Samurai...

Via Anon Ask; “because im also a sap for Johnny and V- How do you think Johnny would help V cope with a panic attack? Especially when its likely something he's feeling laggy echoes of himself if he's in her head during it? (hurt/comfort is a FAVE of mine and i have anxiety, can ya' tell?)”

B ro,, don’t worry anon bc same here, we are anxiety homies together 👏😔 - This is my first time writing for Johnny Silverhand! Trying to get back on the writing boat, (haven't forgotten my previous fic!) and there's nothing like simping for video game characters to get that inspiration flowing. Do let me know what you think! Johnny may be a bit too OOC in this, I may have gone a little bit overboard with the soft? Ah well, I hope someone will enjoy it regardless :P

Here is the Ao3 Link! :D

V’s time was running out.

Every time the relic in their head would malfunction, every time they went into a coughing fit and the disgusting taste of metallic blood would fill their mouth, every time he would manifest himself in her head and V would catch a glimpse of his stupid fucking face…

V was reminded of the fact that their time was running out, and fast.

And despite the fact that they were doing everything in their power to stop the construct in her mind from completely destroying her from the inside out, that didn’t stop the fact that she still had to pay the rent.

In fact, it wasn’t cheap coughing up the eddies to pay Rouge for her services, or having to pay for bigger and better gear that would keep her alive when dealing with Arasaka guards, hell, it wasn’t cheap to keep purchasing more and more bottles of Omega Blockers, the pills were the only thing that kept him from completely taking control.

She found herself taking more and more gigs, trying to simply keep up with the extra costs of having a completely second personality living rent-free in her mind. But even then… she couldn’t find it in herself to reject or turn away people who needed her help, even if they had little to nothing to offer in return.

It seemed as if her phone was constantly buzzing with calls and texts of people who wanted and needed her help. No matter where she went or what she did, people needed her services, people needed her time.

And yet, time was something that she had very little left of.

V was exhausted. The bags under her eyes revealed that she hadn’t slept in days, and she couldn’t remember when she last had a proper meal.

She was always on the go, she didn’t have time to take care of herself.

But as she groggily opened the door to her apartment, she thought to herself that… maybe, just maybe… she would finally let herself take a nice, long warm shower.

V was too exhausted to care about the possibility of Johnny potentially staring at her nude form as she stood under the running water. Hell, let him stare for all she cared! The thought of warm water running over her exhausted muscles, washing away the dirt and grime of the city… it was too appealing at that moment.

She removed her weapon slung across her back, letting her beloved leather Samurai jacket slip off her shoulders and onto the ground, too exhausted to care about putting it away properly.

The weight of the gun in her hands was normally a welcome and grounding presence for V when she was on a mission, the weapon in her hands keeping her safe from those who wished to do her harm. But now? It felt too heavy, unbearably so, as if the weight would make her topple over onto the floor below. The muscles in her arms were exhausted and spent. As she rotated her shoulder she heard the joints audibly pop. The consequences of pushing her body too far.

She would do anything for the physical ache to go away.

As she stepped through the door to her armory and switched on the fluorescent lights of the room, her gaze fell upon someone already there, casually lounging atop her workbench and raising a cigarette to his mouth, pausing to speak before inhaling a deep puff of smoke.

“Damn V. You look like shit.”

She rolled her eyes at his comment, and made her way to her weapon locker instead, trying to ignore the weight of his gaze on the nape of her neck.

V fiddled with the combination, her foggy mind struggling to remember the correct numbers and the correct order, her fingers felt clumsy and uncoordinated as she inputs each digit. V cursed herself for making it so damn difficult, but eventually, she finally managed to swing the metal door open, proceeding to put her gun away amongst her collection of stored weapons.

Johnny hopped off of the workbench, stepping towards V as she organized her storage, resting his metal arm against the locker, using his height to his advantage as he towered over her and confronted her. “No, seriously V, you look like shit. When was the last time you slept?”

“Fuck— Johnny, I dunno… A few days I guess?” V slammed the door of the locker using more force than necessary, Johnny already starting to get on her nerves, the last thing she needed was Johnny Fucking Silverhand following her around like a worried mother hen. V pouted and huffed, blowing away a stubborn strand of hair that had fallen across her face, then turning to meet his gaze, hidden behind wine-colored lenses, and asked, “Why do you care anyway?”

“You’ve been on edge all day, I can feel it. You’re like a string that’s been strung too strongly. I feel like you’re ready to snap at any fuckn’ moment, V.”

She could feel his stare on her body and the tension in the room was beginning to suffocate her. He was poking at a sensitive topic for her, and he knew it.

V stuttered, trying to find the right words to say as she couldn't bring herself to look at him in the eye anymore, instead choosing to halfheartedly push him aside and walk away, “Johnny… I’m fine. Really. I just— I just need a shower and a nap, that’s all.”

As V stepped out of the room, the weight on her chest seemed to grow heavier with each step.

She wanted to crumble, she wanted to cry.

She just wanted to wrap up herself in a bundle of blankets and cry into an order of takeout. One of those ugly cries that made snot dribble from your nose and your cheeks flushed and red.

She wanted— no, V needed to let everything out.

But… she couldn’t. She didn’t have the time for it, she needed to get back to work soon. Here were people that needed her help and there were eddies to be made. She would let herself rest when she’d gotten that damned biochip out of her head.

It was at that moment when V’s phone began to ring, the sound interrupting her thoughts and causing her to pause in her step.

Almost as if on reflex, she quickly reached into her pocket and withdrew the device, not even bothering to check the caller ID before answering, “V speaking, what do you want?”

“V, it’s Regina. I’ve got another report of a cyberpsycho attack…”

V stopped listening to the voice on her phone, too distracted by the crushing pressure on her chest and the fact that she had begun to tremble and shake like a leaf.

All she had wanted was a hot shower and a night in, was that too much to ask?

After weeks of dodging blades and bullets, running meaningless errands and tasks for just a few eddies in return, spending sleepless nights that left dark circles under her eyes, and going days on end without even seeing her fucking apartment, all she wanted was a night in.

Was that too much to fucking ask?

She could faintly register Johnny’s voice coming from behind her, an uncharacteristically concerned tone in his voice as he asked, “...V? What’s wrong?”

The pressure in her chest grew heavier by the second, her breaths becoming strained and labored as the increasing fear and dread overwhelmed her body. She gripped her phone tightly in her hand, glaring at the device with tears prickling the corners of her eyes.

“V? Are you listening? I said that there’s another report of a cyberpsycho near your current position, are you still—“

With a press of a button, she hung up the phone.

Johnny watched V, her form trembling and shoulders tensed.

In all of their weeks stuck together, he’d never seen his little merc look so small. A real juxtaposition when compared to her usual self; a real fucking hardass, she was the only other person Johnny had ever met that was just as bullheaded and stubborn as himself.

As much as he teased her about it, Johnny knew one thing for certain. V was strong, V was determined. A damned force of nature and he pitied the bastards that stood in her way.

But despite the cybernetics in her body and the chip in her mind… V was human. V had her limits.

The facade she’d built up for herself couldn’t last forever, and Johnny knew it. He’d sensed the cracks in her resolve grow larger and larger with each sleepless night and after every exhausting gig.

But for a brief second, a thought crossed Johnny’s mind;

V was fractured… V was broken… V was weak.

And with that thought, V finally snapped.

“I AM NOT FUCKING WEAK!”

V cried out, lobbing her phone at him. It phased right through him, instead hitting against the wall, shattering the screen, and sending the device flying into some unknown corner of the room.

She froze, her eyes widening in shock, almost as if she couldn’t believe what she had done. The realization slowly setting in after the result of her outburst.

V’s vision blurred as tears welled in the corners of her eyes, she slowly fell to the cold floor, cradling her knees up to her chest and muffling her sobs in her arms.

Johnny watched as she sat in the middle of the room and sobbed.

She didn’t let herself cry when Jackie had died, she didn’t let herself cry when Vic told her that she was practically dying. V didn’t cry as she carried Evalyn’s bloodied body, and V didn’t cry late at night when she was alone, and her chest felt tight and her throat choked up.

He knew it was coming, he could feel V’s emotions as they bubbled up and reached their boiling point.

But what truly surprised him, was just how much it hurt him to see his little merc cry.

“Shit— V…” he nervously swallowed his throat, but try as he might, for once in his goddamn existence, he couldn’t find the right words to say.

Johnny didn’t like the way he felt.

Johnny didn’t like the way she made him feel at that moment.

He didn’t like the way his chest tightened at the sound of each of her sobs. The way he felt so restless as he could only watch her curl onto herself for comfort. He couldn’t stop himself from pacing back and forth across the room, unsure if it was her anxiety or his that was setting him off.

Johnny could almost feel V’s heart racing in her chest, the adrenaline flooding her veins, adrenaline meant to stimulate a fight or flight reaction. But when the pain and panic swelled from within her own chest, there was nowhere V could run, nobody she could physically fight.

All she could do was sob into her knees, desperately trying to hide her sobs and cries from him, but her own cries easily overpowered her.

And because of him, she didn’t even feel like she had the ability to freely have a goddamn mental breakdown in her own apartment, even as she choked and sobbed, she tried to grasp onto the shattered remains of her facade. Was it for her sake, or for his?

At that point… neither of them knew.

V couldn’t stop her body from trembling. She tightly gripped onto herself until her knuckles turned white. But V didn’t notice. It didn’t even register in her mind.

She didn’t register the hot tears as they streamed down her face, the shuddering cries that caused her lip to quiver with each breath. She couldn’t recognize that no matter how hard she tried, her frantic breaths caused her lungs to feel as if they were on fire, incapable of delivering oxygen to her body.

V’s mind didn’t even register the fact that Johnny had stopped pacing back and forth.

Her mind cursed at her to get her shit together. V needed to wipe away those tears and she needed to get back on the streets. A moment of weakness could’ve gotten her killed in her past, and now was no different.

But… the thought of standing up and leaving her apartment caused another fresh wave of sobs to rattle her body.

She was tired… she was so goddamn exhausted…

“V…”

All she wanted was a night in. Was that too much to ask? After all of her hard work and effort, hadn’t she earned it?

“V, listen to me.”

Clearly, she hadn’t done enough if people were still calling, still demanding her presence. Clearly she—

V felt something warm touch her cheek.

Someone was there.

Although her mind had stopped temporarily spiraling, she felt the wet salty tears dripping down her face, her vision was still blurry, and her cheeks were incredibly flushed. She must’ve looked… pathetic she thought. But regardless, she allowed herself to look up at the person who had reached out to her.

The cold of his metal rings juxtaposed the warmth of his hand, and as her eyes trailed up towards his arms, she caught sight of his familiar tattoos, but also an unfamiliar detail as she reached his face.

Instead of seeing her reflection in the lenses of his glasses, she was surprised to see his eyes staring into hers. Gone was any trace of malice or cruelty, instead his brown eyes reflected nothing but concern… an emotion she’d never expected to see from him.

Johnny.

As her tearful eyes met his, he could’ve almost sworn that he felt his engram heart stop beating for a second. The tears rolling down her cheeks, the way her lip trembled with each breath. He didn’t know why the sight of V feeling so upset affected him so, he blamed her emotions, her hormones, whatever came into his mind. He hated the way she made him feel, he hated that she had this much power over him.

But most of all, he hated the fact that he felt so powerless to stop it.

He would’ve gladly taken V cussing him out, he would’ve taken V nagging at him and complaining about the smell as he smoked in her apartment. He would’ve even happily taken V as she sang along to the car radio, something she’d originally done to get onto his nerves, but now it has become a sound he’s grown… to tolerate. Even sometimes… appreciate it.

He wasn’t the type to comfort people like this, he was the type to leave as soon as emotions came into play, the countless amount of hearts that he’d broken in the past were evidence enough. Fuck, he didn’t know how to deal with his own goddamn emotions, blowing up Arasaka tower as revenge to deal with his grief, that’s what got him into this mess.

But as he wiped away a tear from her soft cheek with his calloused thumb… he wasn’t going to just sit there and let his little merc cry.

“V. You’ve done more than enough for this city than it deserves. You’re always running back and forth, trying to make this shithole a better place… all while trying to keep yourself alive.” He wanted to tell her that this damned city didn’t deserve her generosity, it didn’t deserve her hard work, fuck, this city didn’t deserve her.

He didn’t deserve her.

And she didn’t deserve what he was doing to her.

“You keep spreading yourself too thin, you keep wanting to do shit for others, you keep wanting to help. But then you add the cherry on top — the fact that there’s a chip in your head slowly killin’ ya… You’ve got enough on your plate. You’ve earned a few nights of rest.”

V sniffled and tried to wipe away tears, her voice wavering as she spoke, “I-If I don’t keep goin’ if I don’t keep looking for a solution— I’m gonna die. Johnny, I don’t want to die—“

“V, you’re gonna end up dead long before the chip has an opportunity to kill you if you keep pushing yourself like this… You need to get some rest.”

He was right. As much as she fucking hated it… he was right.

She felt his metal hand cup her other cheek, the cool metal refreshing against the flushed skin, wiping away tears as he continued to speak.

“You’ve proven yourself enough to this city. You’ve proven yourself enough to me. But running yourself to the bone is not worth it in order to prove it to yourself. And you’re not alone V… as much as they get on my fuckn’ nerves, you’ve got chooms lookin’ out for ya, even if one of them is a fuckn’ cop—“

Through tears, V chuckled and playfully chided him, “Johnny…”

There it was… that little chuckle of hers that he was looking for. He wouldn’t admit it to others, he wouldn’t even admit it to himself, but V’s laughter never failed to make him feel something funny in his chest… it wasn’t like the high of drugs or liquor, but it felt just as addictive. It wasn’t like the adrenaline rush of a firefight or the rush during a show, but it made him feel just as excited and lightheaded.

He cleared his throat, trying to get his mind off of that feeling, and spoke, “Listen… all I’m saying… is that you’re not alone V. And although I don’t have much of a choice, whenever you need me…” he playfully smiled as his eyes met hers, “I’m always here for ya V.”

And that’s all it took.

In one moment to another, V wrapped her arms around his waist, knocking him on his ass from his previous kneeling position, and burying her head against his chest.

Despite sharing a head and body, somehow, someway, V always found a way to surprise him.

He groaned, the deep rumbles from his chest as he spoke making V settle in closer, anchoring herself to his presence.

“Fuck, V, a little warning next time would be nice.”

But even as he whined… he wasn’t complaining. Not when her sobs were beginning to fade, and she was instead chuckling at his expense in his arms.

He ignored that funny feeling in his chest as his organic arm wraps itself against her body, his calloused hand rubbing circles against the small of her back, feeling her trembling begin to slow under his soft touch. Over time, her breathing began to even, and soon enough she was taking deep breaths as she recovered.

Without even consciously doing so, Johnny’s metal hand found itself entwined with the strands of her hair, softly caressing as V’s eyes began to droop, and exhaustion began to overtake her body.

“V… it’s time for you to go to bed.”

“I’m fine Johnny, I’m—“ a yawn interrupted her mid-sentence, “I’m not even tired.”

“And I’m not buying it.” He chuckled as his arm wrapped around her midsection.

“W-wait Johnny what are you— Johnny!” In an instant, V was thrown over his shoulder as he stood from the ground, and she gripped onto him in order to avoid falling to the floor.

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m taking you to bed.” He chuckled as he felt her hand playfully slap against his shoulder.

“Fucking hell Johnny, a warning would be nice!” He could almost imagine her expression as he walked across the apartment, the way she would pout in exasperation.

“Just repaying the favor, that’s all.” He smirked as he reached her bed. Slowly setting her down from his shoulder onto the mattress below.

“There. It’s time that you allowed yourself to get some rest, and not that weird shit you do where you sleep across the bed huddled in a little ball, but some actual sleep, under the covers and all.”

“Fine, fine…” V slipped into a pair of nightclothes as Johnny had the decency to look away, and then slipped under the blankets, making herself comfortable. But before she drifted off to sleep, she called out, “Johnny?”

“... yeah?”

“I just— I just wanted to say thanks. Y’know, for tonight and all.”

“‘Course…” he stepped towards the bed once more as he spoke, “I mean, if I’m the one telling you that you need some rest, you probably fucked up somewhere along the way.”

“That’s true… judging from your memories, you’re terrible at following your own advice, Johnny.” She smiled at him, uncertain if the lack of sleep had made her delirious or if perhaps she was feeling particularly honest that night, but she spoke, “Y’know, if fucking up this badly was the catalyst for us to meet… I would do it all over again.”

He smiled sadly in return, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, his cold metal hand brushing her cheek as he did so. An action to acknowledge the words between them were best left unspoken and unsaid— at least, for now.

“...Goodnight V.” He tore his gaze from her as he turned to walk away.

“Wait— Johnny!”

She grasped his metallic hand before he had the opportunity to pull away.

“... stay with me? Just for tonight?”

With her eyes looking up at him, her smaller hand clinging onto his, causing his breath to hitch and his heart to race—

How could he say no?

“Fine, but just for tonight. I can’t have you thinkin’ I’m goin’ soft or something.”

Johnny slipped under the covers, and without even needing to be asked, he wrapped his arms around V, and she rested her head against his chest in return.

“Get some rest, samurai… the city will still be there waiting for us when you awake.”

Thank ya kindly for reading! I'm always down for some constructive criticism and I love to read any lovely comments about my fics. Do let me know if there are any mistakes, I don't have a beta reader for Cyberpunk just yet, so a few mistakes may have gotten away from me!

And feel free to send in asks/requests! I'm so in love with Johnny and V and I can spend hours thinking and talking about them aaaaa

#CW Panic Attack #Cyberpunk 2077 #Johnny Silverhand #Johnny Silverhand x V #V #my works #fanfic #fluff #hurt and comfort is my kink ngl?#god i just.... lOVE THESE TWO SM

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writingsfromhome · 4 years

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Bad Timing I(.5)

A/N: This is the sort of backstory to Harry and you, I think it can be read on its own if you want, or before you read the first part too. It’s angsty af, but it has some death and sensitive topics jsyk. I tried to keep it concise but it got a little wordy as angst does. xx

Part 1

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About 12 Years Ago:

“So are you coming to that party or not?” My roommate asks. She was one of the first people I’d met last year when we started uni and even though we came from different backgrounds we remained friends over the last year, even choosing to room together again. She got me to open up and find the extroverted part of me that was able to enjoy uni outside of academics.

“Ugh, I’m volunteering for the voting booths for the rest of the week. Maybe if I can make it?”

“You’re actually doing that?” She scrunches her nose. “I don’t get it. You’re just way too nerdy to be my friend.”

“And yet you loove me,” I squeeze her against me and she laughs. “It’s my mom, she said I had to do at least one extracurricular so I could meet friends this year.”

“You already have friends,” she points to herself, and with her came her group of friends that’d quickly taken me in last year.

And my mom doesn’t like that I hang out with you, I think. She thought we partied too much even though my grades stayed decent. “She wants me to have nerdy friends too, I dunno. They’re helping me pay my tuition until I get a job so I kinda have to play nice.”

“Parents suck,” my roommate flicks through her closet. I agreed, this was just something I would get through to get through. Then they would leave me alone for the rest of the year.

Little did I know the person they’d partner me with at my polling station was someone who would be in my life for the next decade.

“I’m Harry by the way,” he’d said after we received our orientation and assigned the building we were going to babysit the votes in. “Second year.”

“Me too! I’m Y/N. What’s your major? I’ve never seen you around.”

“Law--well I haven’t decided if it’s law but that’s what I’m in right now.”

“Really? Law?” I was openly judging, he just didn’t seem the law type.

“Well what are you in?” He demands.

“Business,” I cringe.

“Really? Business?” He has a cheeky smile on, one that would become familiar to me.

“Well, you just don’t seem like the law type. They’re usually more uptight, dress way too smart for me.”

“I know, it’s like, we’re not even in the courtroom yet,” he joins in and it makes me laugh--how he could poke fun at his own people. That’s when I knew we would get along fine, and I actually looked forward to the next few days getting to know him better.

“I’m definitely telling my mum about you, she’s been begging me to make friends outside of my circle. I’ll tell her I’m friends with a law student.”

“So we’re friends already?” We’d reached our booth and began setting up the partitions. He takes over when I set it up wrong.

“Obviously,” I say. “I actually like you which means you’ll have a hard time getting rid of me.”

“I’m alright with that,” he grins and I notice the laugh lines that are brought to life as he does. It somehow made him seem more genuinely.

We spend the rest of the time swapping stories, classes, rants. We check student IDs and hand out voting cards in between but it doesn’t feel like a drag anymore. At the end of the day, I invite him to the party my roommate was going to with our friends. If he was going, maybe I would too. He seemed like he might be fun at a party.

“Er,” he suddenly seems nervous. “I’ll have to ask my girlfriend, she wanted to hang out tonight.”

“Well bring her too!” I say excitedly. “Is she law as well?”

“No, she’s in the arts.”

“I like her already,” I push. “Bring her, my friends are fun you’ll learn how to have a good time.”

“I know how to have a good time,” there was the flash of his dimples again. “Text me the address.”

And thus began a friendship for the next four years, partying together, studying together (trying to), and hanging out in each other’s rooms. We would set each other up with other friends, double dated, went out for sunrise-hikes, and took long drives at night when we had to blow some steam off from being over-stressed, over-studied uni students. Our friend circles overlapped, the fabric of our lives eventually bleeding together. We were made of the same fibers, sticking together even after uni, when our friends got more serious about their careers. When they moved out of the country or to another city, we made sure to rent places close enough that we could still see each other often. And somehow, in the new chapter of our lives, without the partying and our other friends to buffer, we became closer than before.

We cared for each other--we didn’t deny that ever. And somehow that platonic love turned romantic as we depended on each other while we navigated adulthood. I can’t exactly pinpoint where things changed, but one evening our relationship was changed forever.

7 years ago:

“She literally wants me to stay until 7, and she was offended when I said no! I’m not even getting paid for that!” I was bitching to Harry about my shitty job.

“That’s bollocks” Harry shrugs. “Just say you’ve got family obligations or something.”

“I said that the one time she wanted us to come in on a weekend and she gave me shite work the following week! I just...I can’t afford to lose this job Harry.”

“That’s shitty, I’m sorry.” He takes the last swig of his beer. “Want another one?”

“I haven’t even finished this one,” I moan at my now warm beer that I’d been nursing for the last hour, too busy ranting to drink it. “It’s getting late though I should head home before it’s dark. Don’t want that nutter that hangs around my building to harass me again.”

“I’ll walk you home,” Harry suggests. He lived a 15 minute walk from me.

“No no,” I get up and take our dirty dishes to the sink. “I didn’t even ask about you, how was your day?”

“Same old,” he sighs against the counter. “I feel like I don’t fit in, everyone my age is finishing their law degree but I don’t think I want to.”

“I knew from the day I met you, you weren’t destined for the courtroom.” I pull him into a comforting hug. “Do what makes you happy, or what doesn’t make you want to say fuck it and quit your job to hibernate.”

“You really know the perfect thing to say,” Harry chuckles but he pulls me tighter against him. I stroke his back, reassuring him he’d be alright in the end.

“Y/N-” he pulls away to say something but freezes mid sentence. I raise an eyebrow but he’s still, staring at my face.

“Harry?” I ask, but he continues staring. “Hello? You alright?”

“Yeah,” he breaks into a sudden smile. That was weird--I make sure he’s okay before letting go.

Before I leave, I kiss Harry’s cheek goodbye--I was never shy in the affection I gave my friends and Harry’s bummed mood needed extra affection tonight. But what I don’t expect is for him to catch me before I pull away, staring intently into my eyes. The lighthearted energy between us disappears instantly as it dawns on me, how close we were, the unspoken feelings in his eyes, the hesitation before he presses his lips to mine.

I kissed him back then, barely understanding what was happening, before pulling away. I give him a smile but that’s just what he sees at the tip of the iceberg, underneath my mixed feelings churn away. My best friend just kissed me, and I wasn’t totally mad about it.

“It’s getting dark I-” I say as Harry says, “Sorry was that okay?”

We laugh awkwardly, neither of us sure what to do at this point. We decide to ignore it instead.

“I’ll talk to you later,” Harry lets me go and opens the door for me. “Watch out for the neighbourhood nutter yea?”

I stand in place, feeling the fibers of our friendship unraveling but feeling hopeless in mending the tear. “Take care Harry.”

I high tail it out, my thoughts going at an impossible rate as I sort out what happened. And we try to ignore it the next couple weeks,

We hadn’t made it official then, too nervous to face what this meant about our friendships. It was only at my sister’s wedding, that I realised what was wrong between us. I’d been mourning our old friendship, and avoiding him in the weeks since the kiss. But what I didn’t realise was that our friendship had been changing over the last year anyway, and getting drunk on champagne and dancing with Harry, while my sister celebrated the happiest day of her life, made me realise there was a cause for celebration here: a new chapter in our lives.

A couple days later, after a stressful day at work, I’d taken the tube to his flat and waited for him outside. He was surprised to see me there, not saying much except to open the door and let me in. As soon as he’d closed it, my lips were attached to his and we’d let our bags drop, coats, and any piece of clothing between us. After that night, we didn’t even try to deny how we felt about each other.

“I didn’t think I could ever be this happy,” he’s whispered to me after. I thought he’d fallen asleep but his whisper in the dark made me grin to myself. “Are you awake.”

“I am. Awake and happy.” I turn to face him, giggling. “Who knew this could feel so right.”

“Our first kiss was quite wrong though wasn’t it?” Harry says and it makes me laugh.

“That’s why I needed to do a redo,” I tease. “Can’t leave you to plan anything.”

“It wasn’t planned I swear, I was trying to be spontaneous.”

“Let’s not try ‘spontaneous’ again then,” I kiss him in the dark. He pulls me snug against him, I never knew how safe it felt. The safest I would ever feel, wrapped in the warmth with my best friend and now something else.

It was a good few months, testing the waters as our relationship underwent a transformation. All of our friends were supportive, but we never missed the glances between them. Apparently, they were waiting for this to happen. But as sweet as those first few months had been, finding out my mum was sick with a timeline was devastating. I came apart at the seams but Harry stayed through it all, holding me together. He’d proposed then, wanting my mum to be part of the ceremony. We had a small wedding, intimate but still magical. It was bittersweet, the amount of love and happiness I felt towards Harry and our loved ones around us as he said I do and as he took my arm and swept me across the dancefloor. But the amount of sadness crushing my chest kept me from being the weightless bride I always thought I would be.

Through it all, Harry stayed by my side. While we were hopeful, the day our hopes were dashed, the days and weeks I mourned. When my sister and her husband came to stay with their crazy toddlers and Harry kept them entertained giving my sister and I time together. I thought he was perfect, that I’d lucked out.

That lasted a few years, 3 and a half to be exact. There were months leading up to our split and we could point to a bunch of things that could’ve led to it. a) him wanting kids, and me wanting to wait or b) long hours we worked as we changed careers and tried to make our way up or c) how hard getting pregnant actually was. Maybe I pushed him away, or he didn’t love me enough to try and make it work.

I think I lied to myself, avoiding the tension creeping into the relationship. The tired excuses and time spent apart, the lack of usual affection, or casual conversations. I was an idiot, I realise every time I think about the end in retrospect. Maybe if I caught on earlier I could have fixed us before we fell apart. Maybe I could have saved us.

“There’s someone coming in Tuesday morning to fix the broken washer, will you be home?” I ask, still in bed and scrolling through my phone. I hadn’t meant to be up this early but Harry woke me as he got up and I couldn’t fall back asleep.

“No,” Harry responds, his back to me as he ruffles through the dresser. “I’ve got a thing that morning.”

“Well I’ve got to go in early Tuesday-I thought you might be home.” I say. I hear an edge to Harry’s voice but I try not to focus on it. He’d been a little cold all weekend and I was scared to think what it meant.

“You couldn’t be bothered to check in when you confirmed the date?” Harry asks harshly.

“I...guess not.” I put my phone down and wait for Harry to turn, maybe I could read his expression. Maybe he was stressed. “Harry?”

“What?” He turns, but he looks at me with no emotion. No stress, no frustration, not even anger. It’s the lack of emotion in his face that cause my eyes to prick with tears. Harry raises his eyebrows and I shake my head, untangling myself from the sheets so he doesn’t see any tears. I rush to the bathroom but forget to close the door out of habit.

“Y/N,” a kinder Harry appears by the doorway. His face has smoothed out the harsh lines, his eyes hesitant and cautious.

“What’s happened with us?” I blurt out. “Why are you so cold all the time? Am I doing something wrong?”

Harry’s face falls and he walks towards me but doesn’t touch me. “It’s nothing like that. It’s...I don’t know. We should talk.”

He reaches his hand out but I flinch away. “Did you meet somebody new or something? What are we talking about?”

“Let’s not do this here. Right now.”

“Why not!” I finally had enough. “I’ve been walking on eggshells for months Harry! I don’t know what’s wrong and I keep waiting for you to bloody tell me!”

“This isn’t working!” Harry raises his voice to compensate for mine. I’m immediately silenced by the volume, and then the words sink in.

“Is there someone else?” I ask.

He doesn’t answer, his gaze on the hanging vines by the window. My heart drops into my stomach like a boulder, and I find it hard to breathe. I clutch the porcelain sink and ask in a surprisingly even tone, “Harry. Answer me.”

“What we have, Y/N...it’s dysfunctional.” He says quietly, meeting my eyes. “It doesn’t matter if there’s someone else, we’ve been fighting for months. Things aren’t the same between us-”

“Who is she?” I ask. I needed to know.

“That’s not relevant,” he shuts my question down quickly. “I’m sorry Y/N, I...I don’t want to hurt you. I care about you, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Then don’t,” I’d pleaded. “We can go to counseling, talk it through-”

“I can’t Y/N.”

“Because of her.”

“No, because this isn’t good for either of us.” He’d walked up to me, cradled my face. “We’re not good for each other, not like this.”

“Who is she?” I yank his hands away.

“She’s...it doesn’t matter, I swear nothing happened between us Y/N. Knowing who she is isn’t going to help this situation--”

“It is! If it weren’t for her, you’d be willing to work on us--to see a future. You...Harry how could you do this to me? To us?” The tears come with no control. “You’re moving on before we’re even over. How are you giving up on us like that?”

“I’m not!” his voice booms in the tiled bathroom. “I’m not bloody giving up on us! I tried Y/N, so many times. I tried! You just keep pushing at me to be someone I’m not and-”

“I can say the same thing about you!” I throw the brush in my hands into the sink. “We were good! And you got it in your head you wanted a baby even though we’re young, oh my god Harry you kept pestering me to change my mind even though I told you I needed time!”

“It’s not like we could have a fucking baby anyway,” Harry says bitterly before realising what he’d said. “Shit-”

“There you go,” I mock. “I knew it. I knew you were holding that against me. And that,” I jab my finger into his chest. “Is what’s made you so moody, so mean and why we’re always fighting. You held it against me.”.

There was absolute truth to what I said. Last year, Harry had brought the baby topic up. I’d told him we were only in our mid-20s, we had a lot of time, and we still had a career to establish. But he would bring up the topic often enough that I’d given in.To make him happy. And months went by, trying for a baby. Went we finally went to our doctor, she’d told us why it was so hard, it could take us years she’d said.

Harry came home that day dejected, and left me feeling like a failure. I think it tore us up.

“You wanted a baby so fucking bad and when I couldn’t, it made me feel like a complete failure. And I told you that! And you did absolutely nothing to make me feel better. You held it against me, Harry! You didn’t even try to tell me it was okay.”

“It’s not so fucking simple,” he says, his cheeks flushed pink. Maybe it was anger, or maybe it was embarrassment from being confronted with an ugly truth.

“It is. And now you’ve upgraded to a newer model, maybe her version comes with a fertile womb.” I take the cheap shot.

He doesn’t say anything though. And I don’t know why that hurts more than knowing he’d fallen for another woman while he was still married to me. My best friend in the whole world had just broken my heart into a million irrevocable pieces.

“It’s a bunch of things Y/N,” he finally says. “That’s just part of it. We’re not...we’re just not working!”

“Did you even try to make it work?” I ask, swiping my sleeve across my face. “Did you ever think how I felt? How you made me feel Harry? You’ve been slipping away from me without talking to me-” I break off. I couldn’t speak through the heartbreak, the thunderstorm of grief threatens to consume me and my sobs are the only thing that manages to come out.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” Harry tries to place a hand on my shoulder but I jerk away, moving to sit on the edge of the bathtub. “Y/N...”

“Just go,” I say through the tears.

“We can talk more about this later-”

"Just go,” I say louder.

Harry’s phone rings again from the bedroom and he sighs. But he leaves me, crying on the bathroom floor. The sadness that was always in my peripheral consumes me. I’d carried this sadness for a long time--ever since I found out my mum was sick, the sadness plagued me. I’d neatly packed it up once I decided to move forward with my life like my mum would want me to, but now it comes back tenfold, marrying the grief of losing Harry like this. And I stay on the floor crying my grief away for hours, eventually crawling into bed and sleeping the daylight away.

When I wake, it’s 6 and Harry isn’t home. I take that as a sign and get up to pack up a few things. I call my sister who still lived in London then, and crash on her couch, staying there for a few weeks and ignoring any call or text from Harry. When I need to go back, for my things, I find him sleeping on the couch with the TV on, something I always found endearing. But I can’t afford to dwell on how much it hurt seeing him like that.

He must have woken from the noise because when he finds me, he tries to stop me and tell me that we still needed to talk.

“About what?” I ask, just tired now. Too many tears shed and too many hours laying awake thinking about the exact moment we went wrong.

“Us,” Harry looked tired too. He was probably throwing himself into his work with nothing like me to hold him back, I think bitterly. His girlfriend had probably already been to our house--his house.

“What about us?” I barely look at him as I begin folding away all my clothes.

“I don’t know,” Harry sits on the bed. “Don’t you want to talk?”

“I’ve got nothing to say, do you?”

Harry sighs, “I don’t know.”

“Nice talk then,” I say, shoving the rest of my things in just so I could get out.

“I just want you to know I care about you Y/N, I don’t want to hurt you.” He says as I pack.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. If you cared about me, and you didn’t want to hurt me you wouldn’t have done this to us.”

“I wasn’t trying to--I didn’t mean to go and fall for someone else-”

“Just stop,” I cut him off. I couldn’t hear it, how the man I loved fell for someone else. I couldn’t break down here. Again.

He said he cared but it didn’t feel that way. It hurt more than I wished to admit. He knew what I’d been through and he still betrayed me, tossed my heart like it was replaceable. The cut he left in me ran deep.

As I leave he tries to talk to me, but I barrel past him. He still reaches for me and pulls me into a hug, I struggle against him but he’s too strong. He wraps me in his arms until I go still but it’s too much. A sob escapes me, and this time he lets me push him off and leave, my bag banging into my hips every time I take a step. As soon as I got into my Uber, I can’t stop crying. There was an infinite pool of tears where Harry was involved.

3 years ago:

My trust and my heart had been been lost in the war between Harry and I. It only took him a month to mail my divorce papers which sat collecting dust on my dining table until he showed up at work one day and demanded I sign them by the end of that week. I’d taken the day off the day I mailed those in, mourning the end of something that was once so safe and beautiful.

When a close friend calls me on a warm July afternoon, I don’t consider her warning that I shouldn’t check Instagram. That I still had Harry’s friends on my list. I open Instagram before she can tell me why, and see it. Harry was getting married, again. To the woman he gave up on us for. I try to zoom in on a picture without liking it, she was pretty...and blonde. She looked familiar--probably from his office. It didn’t take him long.

It was like someone had taken a retractor to the wound I thought had finally scabbed over. The physical proof that Harry had moved on is just the salt on the wound.

I cry myself to sleep that night.

2 Years ago;

The guy in front of me drones on about his job, mansplaining to me how a mortgage worked as if I wasn’t in finance myself. I excuse myself to use the restroom, checking my phone to see a text from my sister. She’d moved to Scotland this year, to where her husband was from, and I’d missed her terribly in the last year.

A little birdie told me your demon-ex just got divorced 🥂

I stare at the screen, chest feeling tight. I felt vindicated somehow, but I also felt a small bit of sadness. What a fuck-up.

Good for him I had texted back. A part of me wanted him to hurt the way he hurt me.

I went back to my date with a renewed enthusiasm. I’d ordered more wine and got so drunk he was actually interesting enough to take home.

About 1 year ago

“Y/N,” a voice from my past says, one that haunted me some nights. I turn as I exit the shop I was just in. I blink at the sight before me, Harry in a vest and hat. He realises what I’m staring at and laughs awkwardly. “I’m in uniform.”

“You’re...police?” I look up to his face finally. He hadn’t aged a day, although the hat he wears makes him look a little silly.

“Yeah I joined the force uhm...almost 4 years ago now...law didn’t really suit me.”

I know what he was doing, trying to find a baseline to have a conversation. But he was dead to me, and I didn’t want to invite him back in when I was finally forgetting about him.

"Seems like you dropped a lot of dead-weight four years ago.”

I watch his face fall as he realises I wasn’t going to pretend to be friendly.

“Seems that way to you,” he says cautiously. “But that’s not how it happened.”

I shrug. “So. I heard about the divorce. Must’ve been hard being put through that.”

I knew I was being petty, obviously I never got the closure I want (according to my therapist) and I wasn’t over him hurting me the way he did (also according to my therapist). This was how I got my peace, and it wasn’t the best version of me but it was the only one I knew how to be right now.

“Yep,” he crosses his arms over his chest. “So, are you seeing anyone?”

He knew I wasn’t, I don’t know how but the way he stoops to my level I know he knows I hadn’t had a long term relationship since him.

“Not at the moment,” I say awkwardly. “Just focusing on my job...trying to get this promotion.”

“Sorry,” he seems to shake off whatever had come over him. “That was...nosy, I shouldn’t have asked.”

Having him be the bigger person sets something off in me, like there was an anger-bomb inside my mind where he lived and knowing that he was doing okay enough to be able to be the bigger person disrupts this calm I was trying to keep.

“Maybe you shoudn’t have stopped me to ask anything at all. We don’t have anything to talk about anyway.”

I turn around and start to walk away but he catches up, “I wasn’t trying to upset you-”

“Well you have a way of doing that. Please just leave me alone Harry.”

He huffs beside me, “After all this time, can’t we just bloody talk like two adults?”

I freeze and turn to him slowly. He seems to sense this was the wrong thing to say because he takes a step back. “After all this time? Are you serious? I was the one you left behind Harry when you went off to lives your best lift Harry. We’re not living the same life, and we’re not coming from the same bloody place. Don’t fucking patronize me and ask me to talk to you like an adult when you bring out the worst part of me. I meant what I said: I want you to leave me alone. And you know what, if we ever run into each other again, just don’t even talk to me. Pretend you don’t know me. I want nothing to do with you.”

He opens his mouth but his partner calls him from the shop’s entrance. He stays silent, letting me go. As soon as I turn the street corner I rush the rest of the way to the tube, collapsing into a seat and trying to sort out my breathing. It was a shitty feeling, knowing someone was going to be in your life forever because you shared so much history that even when that part of your life ended they were still there. There was so much apart of me, around me, that reminded me of him. And it felt so lonely carrying that around. I wanted to be done with him, I wanted my heart to purge him out. But it couldn’t stop carrying him around everywhere I go.

#Harry Styles #harry styles fic #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #fic #writingsfromhome #harry styles x reader #harry styles series #detective!harry #backstory #this one made me sad to write #but ALSO #if there are any errors #no there is not

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elduwrites · 3 years

Text

Reminders That I Love You - Chapter 3

“Don’t be a brat.” Cas tugged his hair again. It was harder this time and lasted until a small moan escaped Dean’s lips. Then the contact was gone. Damn. He usually had more control than that. But they had been very busy, and angry with each other, lately. This was a welcome change of pace.

“Anyway, I believe in you.” Cas grinned. “Now be quiet, I need to concentrate on my work.”

Also available on AO3

Word count: 4916 (story total: 7603)

Chapter 3/3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

When Cas returned, Dean laid naked in the middle of the bed, legs spread and hands beneath his head. He grinned up at his boyfriend who stopped in the doorway for a while, just starring at him.

“See something you like?” Dean asked, letting his tongue dart over his bottom lip for good measure.

“Yes, you’re very beautiful Dean,” Cas replied matter-of-factly. Then he walked closer, keeping his eyes plastered to the man on the bed the entire time. “And you’re being very good for me.”

“Not like you asked me to do anything complicated.” Dean looked away, lightly biting his lip. He wanted to be good, especially after the evening they had, but he had to earn it.

“The complexity of the task does not dictate how pleased I am when you succeed,” Cas said sternly as he sat down on the bed, leaning over the other man. “Some days I want you to prove just how good you can be for me. Today is not about that. For now, I want to remind you how wonderful you always are to me Dean. Even when you don’t see your own worth.”

“What if I want, or need, to prove that I can be good for you?” His voice was small even to his own ears, but it needed to be said.

“Then that’s for another day.”

“But-”

“No,” Cas said firmly. “On Saturday I will have you collared on your knees with my cock in your mouth while I research my next paper, but I have a different plan for tonight. Are you going to be a brat and question my decisions, or will you be still and obedient like my good boy ought to?”

Dean swallowed hard, but kept his lips closed. Saturday could not come soon enough. But Cas knew what he needed, and what he could take. If he said that this wasn’t the day for proper play, then he was right. Of course he was. Dean looked up, meeting the others gaze and held it until his boyfriend smiled.

“Good,” Cas said. He ran one hand through Dean’s hair, tugging slightly before letting go. Dean leaned into the touch, whimpering slightly as it disappeared. “Remember these?” Cas pulled a bunch of pens out of his pocket. Except, these weren’t normal pens. They were the temporary tattoo markers they had bought for when Claire was desperate to draw on them. Cas had insisted that they were better for their skin than regular pens, and their niece was overjoyed with the vibrant colors that were much easier to cover their arms with.

“I remember,” Dean replied. How could he not? The guys at work always commented on his wonderful new tattoos whenever Claire had spent an artistic weekend at their place. They were rather hard to wash off too. Not that he really minded that part, it was usually a nice reminder of a good family weekend.

“I presumed you would. Now you’re going to lay back, relax, and stay as still as possible, while I cover your skin in all the reasons I love you.”

“Kinda hard both to relax and stay still,” Dean said. Mostly just to say something back to that declaration.

“Anyway, I believe in you.” Cas grinned. “Now be quiet, I need to concentrate on my work.”

Dean took a few deep breaths, relaxing into the mattress as well as he could. Meanwhile, his boyfriend’s big hands ran down his chest, barely grazing his nipples, down his stomach and up his sides. He whimpered again, pushing up into the touch. Why had he denied himself this closeness for so long? Those hands on him were better than almost any sensations. Perhaps except for those fingers in him.

“So beautiful,” Cas said, leaving a small kiss slightly under his left nipple. It was followed by the familiar sensation of the marker on Dean’s skin. Familiar, but still different than when their niece was ‘making him pretty’ as she liked to call it. Cas’ hand seemed surer and less hesitant than Claire often was. And the skin of his sides and stomach was more sensitive than his arms and calves, which were usually the body parts decorated. As the pen stopped its motion, Dean looked down his body. Sure enough, the word beautiful was written in red over one of his ribs.

“Incredibly kind.” Cas left a kiss under the first word, then wrote with a new pen over that same spot. Soon the word kind shone out in orange letters.

“You’re so good with Claire, Madison and little Bobby. The best uncle and godfather anyone could wish for.” Another scribble over his skin. Dean focused on keeping his breathing even so as not to disrupt the others work. When he looked down again, amazing uncle, was written in bright yellow.

Another kiss, halfway down his side, then. “You’re so open and accepting of everyone who need it. I’ve never seen you judge anyone for anything other than being hateful assholes. And those people always deserve it.” The pen moved over his skin once more. As it stopped, Cas moved his hand to squeeze his hip lightly. Dean squinted at the newest word. It looked like it said accepting in deep green letters.

“Dude, are you making my stomach into a fucking rainbow?” Dean asked incredulously, while his boyfriend put down the green marker in favor of a blue one.

“Why are you surprised by this? I make everything into rainbows.” That much was true. After years of hiding his sexuality from overly religious parents, Cas had put all that repressed energy into buying and creating rainbow colored-everything. There were at least seven different flags, and far too many t-shirts. They had rainbow-colored throw pillows in many different designs, and a shower curtain decorated with a tree with rainbow leaves. There were rainbow coasters, cups, water bottles, and at least fifty different buttons and stickers. Everything Cas painted these days were either rainbow inspired, bees, flowers, or, somehow, all of the above. Dean had barely kept him from hanging up rainbow curtains in their living room. That shit was just tacky, and therefore banished to Cas’ office. The office that contained a stuffed rainbow unicorn next to the stuffed bee on top of the bookshelf. Not to mention the queer section of that bookshelf that had the books sorted by rainbow colors. So okay, this was not actually surprising. Still though…

“Don’t mean you have to make me into one.”

“Why does it bother you more that I’m writing in color that that I’m doing it in the first place? You seem to have your priorities mixed up sweetheart.”

“I dunno… It’s just real obvious is all.” That was a bad excuse. He was aware of that. It just felt different in all these colors than it would have otherwise. Even so, his boyfriend was right. It didn’t actually matter. So why’d it feel like a big deal?

“It’s not like anyone else is going to see you this way. Right Dean?”

“Of course not.” It was far too cold for him to go shirtless anywhere other than inside their house. And even during summer, he preferred to wear at least a t-shirt. Only Cas got to see him shirtless for long periods of time.

“Then why does it matter? I like you like this.”

“I dunno.” Dean looked away, biting lightly at his lip. It was hard to argue his point when he didn’t actually have any reasoning, and Cas was all cold logic. The rainbow thing wasn’t a problem either. Not really. He was just caught off guard was all. But there was no way he could admit that now.

“Do you know what I think?” Cas moved so his knees where on the other side of the other’s hips, rested his hands next to Dean’s head, and leant down so their faces were mere inches apart. “I think you’re trying to rile me up. I think you’re being difficult on purpose. This,” he ran his right hand down Dean’s side, stroking over the words, “doesn’t actually bother you. You’re just clinging to the only argument you could find because affectionate words make you uncomfortable. Perhaps you’re even angling for a punishment?”

Dean whimpered lightly at that. Trust his boyfriend to psychoanalyze him in a situation like this. As if they didn’t have better things to do than trying to get to the bottom of his issues. His fear of intimacy as both Cas and Charlie was so fond of calling it. This was not the time.

“Is that it Dean? Are you trying to make me be rough with you because that’s easier to deal with? Would you rather have me spank you till you’re a writhing mess or perhaps slap you hard enough that you’ll feel it for days?”

“Please.” He wasn’t sure what he was asking for, but his boyfriend seemed to have enough ideas of his own. As long as Cas gave him something.

“Too bad really, that I already told you we’re not doing that tonight.”

“Cas. Please.”

“I’m not changing my plans just because you’re being a brat,” Cas almost growled. “However, I can’t let that kind of behavior go completely unchecked either.”

“Please.” Dean repeated. By now it could be called pleading, almost begging. His boyfriend usually liked that, was more likely to fulfill his wishes when he asked nicely. But it didn’t seem like he was budging this time. His expression was blank, not betraying any of his thoughts. Would whatever he was planning be good or bad? Well, it was always good with Cas, but sometimes that also meant torturous. Then again, that was often the best of all.

Cas suddenly sat up until he was kneeling over him. Then he ran his hands slowly down the other’s shoulders and chest, stopping to pay extra attention to his nipples. Dean swallowed the groan that wanted to erupt as both his nipples were pinched hard.

“Don’t be quiet on my account,” Cas said, pinching even harder. Then he let go off the left one, only to bend down and bite it. Dean moaned, arching his back into the pleasure-pain sensation.

“There you go. Keep making those pretty sounds for me,” Cas grinned down at him before leaning in to capture his lips in a rough kiss. Dean quickly opened up for him, allowing his boyfriend to dominate his mouth completely. As the kiss broke off, Cas moved so sit next to him on the bed again, one hand resting comfortingly on his stomach. Dean put weight on his elbows, wanting to follow, but one sharp look from the other man made him rest back onto the bed. That earned him a soft smile and a gentle hand playing with his hair.

“Touch yourself for me,” Cas said, giving a significant gaze down to the others cock, then back up to his eyes. Dean starred at him for a moment before he followed the order, slowly jacking himself off. This seemed too simple. Was this evening really all about pleasure? And affection or whatever?

“Faster. Put some effort into it.”

Dean fastened his grip and speed his movement to a pace that would have him desperate in no time.

“Good boy,” Cas murmured into his ear. “Tell me when you’re close.”

Oh. Of course. Dean closed his eyes, jerking himself in all the ways he enjoyed the most. Firm grip. Fast movements. A twist of his wrist on every third or fourth upstroke. Pausing for a moment to run his thumb over the slit, coaxing more pre-cum to ease his movements. He was hurdling steadily towards an orgasm, feeling his boyfriend’s heavy gaze on him the entire time.

“’M close,” he moaned out.

“Stop. Hands on the bed.”

Dean quickly followed the order, breathing hard as he tried to calm down. He whimpered sightly at the receding orgasm. It was so close, but far out of his grasp.

“So good for me,” Cas murmured, then leaned down to kiss his stomach. “I love seeing you like this. So desperate to please.”

Dean smiled, relaxing further into the bed. He was still on edge, desperate for release, but it seemed somehow less important. He was pleasing Cas, and his boyfriend would surely take care of him.

A sudden feeling of a marker over his skin almost made him flinch, but he managed to stay still as not to mess up the other man’s work. Peering down, he saw his boyfriend with a blue marker in hand, obviously continuing where he had left off earlier.

“Cas? What?”

“You didn’t think I was done, did you? I already told you I wasn’t changing my plans. I don’t like leaving my projects half-finished.”

“I guess not.” It certainly had seemed like he’d changed his plans. Dean really should have known better. When Cas first made up his mind, he stuck to it. He peered down at his stomach, seeing desperate to please written under the green accepting.

“Dean. Look at me.” Cas laid a hand on his cheek and starred intently at him as their eyes met. “Indulge me in this. Let me show you affection. You deserve to be loved.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean tried to look away, but the other’s eyes were captivating, holding his gaze steady. “Indulge yourself or whatever.”

“Imprudent boy,” Cas smacked his hip lightly. “I want to worship you, just let yourself enjoy it.” With that he picked up a purple marker, putting the tip of it against the skin right above Dean’s hipbone.

“You deserve to be loved,” Cas repeated while writing what was probably the same words into the other’s skin. Dean barely suppressed a shiver as those words finally washed over him. How many times had Cas told him that by now? And how many more times had he found himself doubting it?

“Now continue touching yourself.”

Dean’s hand moved almost on autopilot, wrapping around his cock and jacking it with sure movements. He kept his eyes open this time, taking in all the emotion in his boyfriend’s eyes. No one could convey emotion through a look quite like Cas. And he was using that ability now to express all the love he insisted that Dean deserved. It was enough to make a guy believe him.

Pleasure built up within him even faster this time around. He jerked off until he was moments away from orgasm before he moaned out that he was close.

“Stop.”

His movement stilled immediately, but he clutched the base of his cock for a few deep breaths before he was calm enough to place his hand back on the bed. Perhaps even closer than Cas would have taken him if the former had been doing the touching.

“You’re doing remarkably well.” Cas left a kiss to each of his cheeks and the tip of his nose. Dean whimpered in return, struggling to keep himself from pleading for release. He really needed to come. Preferable five minutes ago. Instead, his boyfriend took up the red marker again, and started writing on the right side of his stomach. Dean couldn’t find the energy to read the words anymore, but it was impossible to ignore the several times Cas murmured “good boy” into his skin while he kissed around the new words. In return, Dean let out an undignified sound somewhere between a whimper and a moan. He was being good.

“Yes. Good boy with his pleasing sounds.” Cas smiled down at him, while stroking over his stomach in small circles. “And you are so good to everyone Dean. You care so much. I’m in awe of the love you show to all the people around you. Such a wonderful, caring man.” There were more pen scratches and kisses against Dean’s stomach. This time he simply breathed through it, letting the words and affectionate touches wash over him.

“Not to mention the love you put into your food. Before you, I mostly ate just to sustain myself. Now I do it for pleasure as well. You taught me that through your food, you’re such an amazing cook Dean.” More writing on his skin. More fingers tracing patterns on his stomach. More kisses to his side and chest, followed by a sharp bite to one nipple. He arched into it, chasing the mouth as it moved away. His boyfriend chuckled and pushed him back down with a flat hand on the middle of his stomach.

“Touch yourself again.”

He did. With fast strokes, spurred on by the hands exploring his body. Every time Cas pinched his skin or twisted a nipple, he moaned loudly. All the touches went straight to his dick, and within a couple of minutes he was writhing on the bed, barely able to contain the orgasm.

“’M so close. Please Cas.”

“Stop. Now.”

His movements stopped, but he looked pleadingly up at the other man. “Please Cas. I can’t… I need to come.”

“Patience sweetheart. You can wait. And you will.”

Dean whimpered again, but kept his mouth shut. There was no use arguing with Cas’ decisions. He had made that mistake in a similar position once before. That night he was not allowed to come at all. Taking several deep breaths calmed him enough to remove his hand, and finally look up at his boyfriend once more.

“Good boy. Now, where were we?” Cas looked down at his writing, tracing the words with a gentle finger. At that point, even the small gesture was enough to push Dean towards the edge. He shook with self-restraint, clutching the sheets hard and focusing on his breathing.

“Oh yes,” Cas continued in an even voice. “You, Dean Winchester, is one of the most selfless people I have ever met. You give so much of yourself to others. You say yes to helping out whenever the chance occurs, with no regard for how it will affect you. Every fiber of your being seems determined to change the world for the better. Your selflessness was one of the first things I noticed about you.”

“You’re way too articulate,” Dean half-moaned, earning him another chuckle. Then the pen was back, tracing over his skin. Followed by warm lips, copying the pattern of the letters. Every point of contact sent tingles through his already over-sensitive body, forcing small sounds of out him.

“You keep me grounded and sane. I’ve spent so much of my life with my head in the clouds, not really wanting to partake in the world around me. You changed that by showing me how good reality can be. I want to experience real life with you Dean.”

The statement was followed by more pen scratches, then kisses to his stomach, up his chest, and then peppering his face. Dean whimpered, lifting one hand to clutch at the others arm. A tear found his its way down his cheek, but was soon kissed away. It was all too much.

“Shhhh, just one more thing now,” Cas murmured into his skin. “You are doing so well for me.” Their lips met in a long, soft kiss that swallowed all the sounds coming out of Dean’s throat. Then Cas moved to write a last word on his stomach with slow, steady movement. As the pen disappeared, one hand traced all the words on his torso while his boyfriend left three small kisses to his stomach, chest, and forehead.

“Do you want to know what it says?” Cas asked, his lips curling into a smirk. Dean inclined his head in a way that was meant to be a nod. Apparently it was enough, as his boyfriend continued. “It says excellent cocksucker. The things you do with your mouth are downright sinful.” Dean almost chocked on air at those words, and his lips fell open of their own accord. Cas took the opportunity to push two long fingers into his mouth.

“Suck.” That was a command he didn’t really need. Closing his lips around anything Cas put between them was second nature by now. His boyfriend had a borderline obsession with that part of his body. Not that Dean would ever complain. It fit perfectly with his own love of having his mouth filled. Oral fixation Cas sometimes called it, his voice always filled with awe or deep pleasure. “Now touch yourself.”

He was slower to follow the command this time, more focused on the fingers pushing slowly in and out of his mouth. Even so, his entire body lit up with pleasure as his hand wrapped around his dick. It only took a few pumps before he was back on edge again. Cas was tugging at his hair and moving his fingers steadily faster and harder into his mouth. Dean almost gagged a few times, but forced himself to relax. The pleased expression on his boyfriend’s face was more than worth it. Pleasure built with every jerk of his hand, and every movement of Cas’ fingers. He was hurdling towards an orgasm, and this time it didn’t feel like he could stop. Moaning around the fingers, he tried to say that he was close, but it came out as a garbled mess. Fuck. He was so close, but he didn’t have permission to come. And he didn’t have permission to stop jerking off. Starring up, he tried to convey his desperation, tried to plead with his eyes. It was hard to focus on anything else than delaying his orgasm, the world seeming hazy around him. As such, he didn’t notice Cas’ face coming closer until a dark voice whispered into his ear.

“Come for me Dean.”

Two more jerks of his hand and he did just that. The orgasm tore through him, almost making him black out. His whole body convulsed in pleasure as cum coated his stomach. It was so good. Cas always made it better than he managed by himself. Even when he technically was doing all the work himself. He kept jerking in slow movements, drawing out the orgasm while he slowly came back to himself. Soon he grew oversensitive, but kept up the movement until strong fingers wrapped around his own and dragged his hand away. He sighed in relief and pure exhaustion, blinking up at the man above him.

“Hello Dean,” Cas murmured with a pleased smile. “You did perfectly for me.” Dean blushed at that, looking away. That only earned him slightly annoyed sound from the man above him before his face was peppered with kisses. “One day you will believe my praise.”

“One day yeah. Maybe.”

“You will. I intend to remind you of it as often as necessary until you do.” The statement was followed up with more soft kisses to Dean’s face, and a hand carting through his hair. Sighing contently, he leaned into that touch. This was, possibly, his favorite part. Cas was always so affectionate after sex. All soft touches and endless skin-to-skin contact. And like this, during the afterglow, Dean allowed himself to drown in it. Except, they weren’t both basking in the afterglow. With more effort than he was ready to admit, he lifted a hand up to Cas’ hip, squeezing lightly.

“Want me to get you off too?” He asked with a grin, eyes slowly drifting down the others body.

“Not tonight. I already got all I wanted.” He did this every once in a while. Actually, he did it rather often. As if he got more pleasure from getting Dean off than actually having an orgasm of his own. It wasn’t anything Dean could pretend like he understood, but Cas surely knew his own wants best. He was certainly direct enough about shoving his cock down the others throat when he felt like it.

“You’re sure?” Dean met the other’s gaze again, searching for any shred of indecision there.

“Yes Dean. I just wanted to watch you come apart. I might, however, fuck you in the morning.”

“Yeah. Okay. Awesome.” He grinned again, probably looking dopey as hell, as he relaxed back into the bed again. This time determined to stay put. Everything was right with the world again. Well, except for the rapidly drying pool of cum on his stomach, but that was a problem for future-Dean. That guy had energy for all sorts of things.

“I’ll get a washcloth,” Cas said as he stood up from the bed. Because he was freaking perfect. Dean told him as much, causing a fond smile to appear on his boyfriend’s face. Cas’ hand found his, giving one last squeeze as he started to turn away. Pain flared from Dean’s knuckles at the contact, making him flinch. His boyfriend froze at that, starring down at him.

“Dean? What?” Cas dragged his hand close, inspecting the tender area closely. His face turned from confused to worried, eyes scrunching up in familiar fashion. Dean looked at the hand as well. Now that they gave it attention, it was obvious that it was red and slightly swollen. A miracle that it hadn’t been noticed before. “Dean what happened?”

“Umm… I got into a fight with the shower wall.” The last thing he needed was for his boyfriend to blame this on himself. Sure, it happened because Dean was angry about their fight, but that was on him. Neither of them needed Cas to deal with any misplaced guilt over that.

“You got into a fight with the shower wall,” Cas repeated slowly.

“Not my finest moment.”

“Dean,” Cas sighed. “You need to take better care of yourself.”

“I know.”

“You can’t hurt yourself just because we fight.”

“I know.”

“Next time you decided to fight an inanimate object, please make it a verbal match. That one you at least have a chance to win.”

“That’s uncalled for.” Dean tried to scold his face into annoyed, but couldn’t keep a smile from breaking out. Apparently Cas was not in a lecturing, or self-hating, mood. This was going much better than expected.

“You know I’m right.” Cas smiled lightly, then looked more serious again. “Does it hurt?”

“Nothing I can’t handle man.”

“Dean.”

“Yeah. A bit.”

“Okay.” Cas nodded solemnly, then put his hand down and turned towards the door. “Wait here.” With that, he left the room, leaving Dean to study his knuckles. They didn’t look that bad really. He’d damaged them much worse on several occasions, but he’d mostly outgrown that part of his life. That was a teenage and early-to-mid-twenties thing. Which was probably why they looked more painful than they really should, they were no longer hardened by abuse. Or maybe he’d just hit that wall harder than intended. He shook his head lightly and laid the hands back on the bed. It didn’t matter now anyway. With a yawn, he closed his eyes, making himself more comfortable.

He was almost asleep when Cas returned, so he just grunted noncommittedly as a greeting. Sleep seemed more important than anything. Until a bag of freaking ice was dropped on his knuckle. His eyes flew open, and he starred down at the offending item. His boyfriend gave him an amused glance as he placed an ice bag on his other knuckle as well. Okay, they weren’t actually ice bags. When Dean looked closer, he saw they it was frozen peas partly packed into a dish towel. That didn’t change the fact that they felt like big bags of ice.

“Why?” He grunted, giving the pea bags a dirty look.

“Because you refuse to take care of yourself, so someone has to.” He couldn’t exactly argue with that. Instead he sighed, watching as Cas took a warm washcloth to his stomach, wiping off all the dried cum.

“You’re really confusing my senses here.”

“Sorry sweetheart.” Cas gave him a quick kiss to his forehead, before throwing the washcloth towards a corner, turning off the light, and getting into bed. Moving around with the freaking pea bags was complicated, but his boyfriend was efficient as always when cuddling was involved. Soon their legs were tangled, a comforter pulled over them, and Cas had an arm around his waist and head resting between his chest and shoulder.

“I’m glad you came back,” Dean murmured into the darkness, half-hoping the other wouldn’t hear him. Of course, he had no such luck.

“Me too. And Dean?”

He hummed lightly in response.

“I promise to be better at reminding you how much I love you. Maybe even stop walking out every time our fights get too intense. But you have to stop pushing me away.”

“Yeah I…. Fuck, I’m sorry Cas. I’ll do my best.” He took a deep breath, starring into the darkness of the room. “And I love you too. You know that, right?”

“I do. Most of the time.”

“Well I love you all the time,” Dean insisted, then gave his boyfriend an awkwardly placed kiss on his forehead. It seemed like he had to get better at those reminders too. He looked into nothing for several long minutes while Cas’ breathing turned heavy, soon making way for soft snores. Shaking off one of the pea bags, Dean circled an arm around his boyfriend, holding him close as sleep finally took him as well.

#destiel #destiel fic #eldu writes #finally finished this thing #minors dni

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with-the-same-tattoos · 3 years

Note

I love that you are so willing to take constructive criticism and reflect on your art, I really do, but these anons come off so aggressive sometimes...?

Like DUH, I know it's not directed at me, and I know this is totally on me, but if I got anons like these I'd think they were kinda rude? It's not even that they're blunt, like I'm blunt as fuck, but there's something about the way they're worded that makes it come off less as constructive criticism and more like annoyed complaints.

Again, I know that's just me, you handle it a lot better than I ever could, but even bluntness could have more tact? Idk where I'm going with this lol

Sorry for bitching in your inbox, it's so stupid I know, but I can't help but feel irritated on your behalf sometimes, especially with this rash of really weird/rude anons this part of the slasher fandom has been getting lately.

Ahhh I totally understand what you mean BUT Please don't worry, I'm completely fine w it!!! ; v ; ive talked abt this before so I won't talk too much on it, but I just happen 2 be a person who really apprechiates bluntness /sternness/directness, and i really apprechiate when people air out their annoyances w me n stuff !!! Im just human, I have flaws, and I'd love to see what of them I can help to make peoples days better.

Stern tone can kinda be hurtful to me sometimes since I am kinda sensitive, but its more important for me at this point in my life 2 be a better person than to protect my feelings 🙏

Its not stupid tho!!! You just care and mind other people and worry for them, and thar is very admirable in a person. These things don't cancel eachothers validity, I hope I can SOMEWHAT expressbthat??? Dunno. Im not v good w words. Anyways, I don't think anon was annoyed, just presenting an idea!!!

Btw, there r some extra reasons why some people might message in a more deadpan way that comes off as weird. This doesn't mean that messages can't just be mean to be mean- those ABSOLU5ELY exist too, but if yall ever get a message that feels just a lil off, please for ur own mental health remember that it might just be a misunderstanding :')

Anons trying to kinda blank out their usual typing habits & make their writing less recognizable

The person is not a native english speaker- im not either, and tone was one of the HARDESt things to learn since you need like a lifelong context for some words meanings & vibes (i have been learning english for almost 10 years now and i still struggle w tone sometimes!!!)

Non native english speaker who texts more within their own language- text language habits can be incredibly different in different areas. Use of (or lack of use of) emojis, messy spelling or not, any l33t used, terminology, etc.

Just people in general who struggle w tone !!! It can have so many reasons.

I am not expressing that people shouldn't defend the space where they are comfy, but I also believe there just r a lot of mutual misunderstandings in this world that could be avoided if we try to assume positivity!!! Even then, usually, if someone who is in a bad mood gets a positive message treating them kindly, they might feel a bit better and feel a bit bad for being unpleasant, if that was their intent, and you might be able to make a friend and help that friend feel a lil better :)

#ask #anonymous

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adenei · 4 years

Text

Finding My Way To You - Ch. 11

AO3 || FFN

A/N: In case something looks familiar to you, yes this does include the Day 8 prompt in this chapter with a few slight alterations to fit the rest of the chapter more accurately.

**************

New Endeavors

Ron woke up the following morning to Hermione’s alarm going off. He reached over to her in an attempt to coerce her into having a longer lie-in, but he pulled back when he heard her squeal.

“No, no, no, no, I’m late! This is not good!” she said frantically. She jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom.

As much as he didn’t want to see her get moving, he could certainly get used to the sight of her walking around in just her knickers and one of his shirts. Ron closed his eyes as he heard the shower turn on and replayed the night before. After they had cleared the air and spent the rest of the afternoon exploring their new relationship, they’d gone to dinner with her parents.

Hermione had suggested she spend the day with them today, and Ron was fine with it. He knew it was important to her to reconnect, and some of that needed to be done with just the three of them. So that’s where Hermione was getting ready to head now. He heard the door open and Hermione came out wrapped only in a towel.

“I forgot to grab clothes,” she said in frustration with herself. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Not if you keep walking around in just a towel, I won’t be,” Ron said. “Are you sure you can’t come back here for a little bit?” He knew she was referring to her leaving him alone all day, but he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to try and get a little extra time with her first.

Hermione had gathered her outfit in her arms and turned around to give him a look. “I’d love to, but I’m already late. And we both know if I crawl back in bed, I may not have the resolve to get up again.” She walked back into the bathroom. “What are you going to do all day?”

“I dunno. I’ll think of something. Don’t worry about me. Have fun with your parents.”

Hermione came out of the bathroom again and walked over to the edge of the bed. “I just feel bad.”

Ron sat up and swung his legs over the side to meet her. “Don’t. You need this time with them. That’s why we came. I’ll find something to do, and I’ll see you later tonight. Just...keep me updated, okay?” Slight worry etched across his face. He knew he was on good terms with her parents, but he still worried that she might not return.

She must have noticed his concern because she leaned over and kissed him. “I will. I’ll see you tonight.” Ron nodded as he watched her grab her bag and head out the door. He laid in bed a while longer before finally getting up.

After getting ready for the day and finishing his breakfast, Ron made his way to to look through some of the brochures from the Australian Ministry. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the phone on the wall ring. At first he wasn’t sure what to do. It wasn’t like he answered telephones often. He reminded himself not to shout into the receiver like that awful attempt at calling Harry when he was younger.

He picked up the phone and said, “Hello?”

“Hello, Ron? Is that you? This is Graham. Graham Jacobsen. I showed you to your flat when you first arrived.”

Ron had honestly completely forgotten all about the man. Now that he thought about it, they probably should have updated the Australian Ministry days ago. “Er, yes, hi. Is everything alright?” Ron asked.

“Yes, yes, of course! I’m just checking in to see how your search has been going and if you need any assistance!”

“It’s been great, actually. We’ve managed to locate Hermione’s parents, fairly quickly actually, and she’s been spending the last few days getting reacquainted with them.”

“Excellent, excellent! So the resources the Ministry sent over with the muggle teeth cleaners and addresses of Wilkin’s in the surrounding area were no doubt helpful, then?”

“Er, yeah,” Ron said. He wasn’t about to tell Graham that they’d actually stumbled upon Jean and Hugo by accident.

“Great. So anyways, like I said, I was asked to get an update. Since you’ve located them, we were wondering how much longer you were anticipating to stay.”

“I’m not sure. I can talk to Hermione and see if we can get a clearer answer for you tomorrow or the day after if that’s okay.”

“Yes, sure! No rush. It will just help to have an idea to prepare your portkey trip back. Let’s see, let’s see, oh yes! One more thing. You received a letter here from England through the Portkey Post. Wouldn’t want to make owls travel all this way. If you’re available, you can come pick it up at the Ministry anytime.”

A letter? Is everything alright back home? “Sure, yeah, I can actually be down there in fifteen minutes.”

“Excellent, I’ll meet you in the entrance hall. See you in a jif!” Graham said before hanging up.

Ron hung up the phone and immediately began moving around the apartment to grab his things. He figured he could spend a few hours walking around and seeing what else Melbourne had to offer from the magical side of things. Before he knew it, he was apparating to the spot Graham showed them almost a week ago, and walked the short distance to the Ministry entrance.

He had barely stepped a few paces inside when he saw Graham waving frantically. “Ron! Over here!” They met in the middle as Graham said, “So good to see you again! I hope you’ve been enjoying your stay here so far.”

“Yeah, it’s been great,” Ron agreed.

“Here’s the letter that came for you. If you want to send a response, we send our international post out at 13:00 every day. The drop box is over here.”

Ron followed him over to the box that had a small slot in it. He was curious how this system worked. Whether it was his lack of knowledge about other cultures and customs or not, he always assumed the owls just traveled the distance to their destination. Though, for a continent like Australia that was so far away from other places, he supposed this system made sense. It’d be hard for an owl to travel over an ocean with no resting points.

“Thanks.”

“Absolutely. Well, I must be getting back to my obligations. Like I said, feel free to call if you ever need anything. Just press 9 on your dial pad and it will transfer your call to my office. A little magical touch so you don’t have to memorize a ten digit number. I look forward to hearing from you!”

Graham shook Ron’s hand before walking away. Ron looked at the letter in his hand. He didn’t want to return to the flat just to read it, so he decided to walk around a bit to find a place to sit and read what it said. There was a small park a few blocks away that Ron stumbled upon. He chose one of the vacant benches and sat down. The handwriting looked like Harry’s.

Hey Ron,

I hope you and Hermione are having luck finding her parents. It’s odd here without you two, but I’ve been keeping busy. Listen, I’m not trying to rush the process, but I wanted you to know that I met with Kingsley yesterday, and he said they’re looking for recruits in the Auror program. The other letter that I sent with this is from him. He’s inviting us into the program if we want. I think I’m going to go for it. We have to complete the screening process by the end of the month, so I’m hoping you’ll be back by then to start with me if that’s what you want to do. By the way, are you and Hermione sorted yet? Ginny wants to know. Well, anyways, let me know when you decide.

Harry

Ron reread Harry’s letter a few times before pulling out the second piece of parchment that he now knew to be from Kingsley. Was this actually an invitation to join the Aurors? Would he be able to achieve his dream? Did he still want to pursue that dream? He slowly peeled off the wax seal and unfolded the official Ministry parchment.

Mr. Weasley,

I hope this finds you well and that you are having success on your current mission. I am reaching out to you to personally invite you to join the Aurors. As you know, we are woefully understaffed as a result of the war, and your integral efforts make you a prime candidate for the program. Typically, the training period is an extensive three years, but given your experiences, you will have an opportunity to pass out of the training program after a year, and be promoted to Junior Auror status.

I understand that you are predisposed on a mission, but this offer is time sensitive. The Auror department has agreed to honor this offer for select people, yourself included, but they are requiring all candidates to begin on 3 August. Paperwork and a screening, however, must be completed by 1 July. I have attached the preliminary paperwork for you to set up your appointments with the Ministry, and they will be in touch should you be interested in pursuing this avenue.

Please take the time to think about this, but do not wait too long to reply. The Aurors will be lucky to have someone with your skillset in the department. Best of luck on your continued search. All my best,

Kingsley

Ron’s hands were shaking slightly at the letter. He had a personal invitation from the Minister of Magic to join the Aurors. His finger followed the application that he looked over. It seemed straightforward enough, and the prospect was certainly appealing. He knew deep down that he absolutely wanted to try, but something was preventing him from returning to the Australian Ministry to fill out the paperwork and send it back that same day.

Ron thought it through to make sure he’d have enough time to discuss with Hermione first. He reviewed the application, and it said he could return his paperwork from Australia, and it said that he could request a timeframe for his appointment. That was good. Maybe he could return next week, but his heart wrenched at the thought of having to leave Hermione here. Ron folded the contents of the two letters and tucked them in his jacket pocket for safekeeping.

He looked around the park, thinking about what to do next. It was a beautiful, crisp day, just like every other day had been since they’d arrived, even if it was colder. He smiled, thinking Hermione would be cold, but he was perfectly comfortable. The weather here differed so greatly from the weather in England, and Ron was slightly envious of how nice it seemed to be year round.

He finally decided to walk around. This part of Melbourne wasn’t as familiar to him, but Ron figured he could always apparate back to the flat if need be. A smile spread across his lips as he stood up and began walking back towards the Ministry. He’d gone from not knowing what life had in store for him now that the war was over to having a career prospect. Nothing could break his mood as he looked around at the places to explore.

About an hour later, Ron found himself wandering aimlessly around Melbourne’s streets. He’d gone in several of the shops that interested him along the way, and had just finished up a light meal he’d gotten at a cafe. The food was great, and he wished Hermione had been there to. He told her he was fine with today’s plan, but he still missed her. They’d been spending so much time together that it felt odd to be apart from her, even if it was just for the day. Even when her mum had whisked her away to shop, he still knew exactly when he’d see her next.

As he made his way down another new street, Ron stopped outside the window of a unique looking jewelry shop. He knew it was still early in their relationship, but he walked inside anyways to see what the display cases held. Most everything would probably be out of his price range, but maybe he’d gather an idea or two for Hermione.

“Good afternoon,” a bright and energetic salesperson said to him.

“Hello,” Ron said.

“Is there anything I can help you find today?”

“Oh, er, not really. Just looking,” his ears turned red.

“Not a problem at all! I’ll be around if you need anything,” she smiled and went back to her work.

As he walked around slowly, browsing the selection, he was appreciative that there seemed to be a wide variety of items and price ranges. Ron avoided the section with the rings. It was way too early for that, and he didn’t want to get his hopes up with wishful thinking. So, he found his way over to the earrings, which he was pretty sure she never wore often, though he was certain her ears were pierced, and then the necklaces. He shuddered at the recollection of Lavender giving him that horrifying ‘sweetheart locket’ back in sixth year, and swore to himself that he wouldn’t get anything like that for Hermione.

Once he’d finished circling the perimeter of glass cases, he moved to the center displays, which appeared to be bracelets. There was a small display among them that had a variety of blank bracelets and little pieces scattered all around.

Ron looked around and caught the salesperson’s attention. “Find something I can help you with?”

“Er, yes. What are these?” Ron asked her.

“Oh! Great question. These are charm bracelets! Are you familiar with them?” she asked kindly.

“No, not really,” Ron admitted.

“No matter! You see, you pick out a bracelet first, though I’m sure you would have gathered that, and then you have all of these amazing charms to choose from. We have hundreds of them on this display for you to choose from.”

“So, the charms are like symbols, then?” Ron asked for clarification.

“Precisely! They are becoming increasingly popular.”

Ron nodded as an idea was forming in his mind. He was unable to get anything for Hermione’s last birthday, and Christmas for that matter. Maybe this could be the way to make it up to her. “How much?”

“The bracelets are 50 dollars, and then the charms range anywhere between 15 and 50 depending on what you’re looking for.”

Ron thought about what the salesperson said as he felt the wallet in his pocket. Bill and George had both given him money before he’d left. He was determined not to use it unless he had to, since he felt guilty that he was taking it to begin with. Maybe he’d splurge a bit, and when they got back to England, he’d take up a part-time job at the shop with George in order to pay him back, and then earn a little spending money of his own.

In truth, he was about to use it to pay for their posh dinner the other night, but Hermione had insisted she use her parent’s card. He’d need to make it up to them, too, at some point. Focus, Ron. Okay, I could get her the bracelet, and a few charms. No more than five. He knew if he didn’t set a limit, he’d blow all his money on this one gift.

“Okay, I’d like the silver bracelet, I think. Is there a list of charms, or will I need to look through all these individually?” Not that he minded, since he had nowhere else to be today.

“We have a list right here!” There was a stack of laminated papers that she grabbed one from and handed to him. “When you’ve decided what you’d like, I can take them out for you and we can put them on the bracelet at the register.”

“Great, thanks!” Ron said as he began to work his way through the list.

She wasn’t kidding when she said there were hundreds. They were broken down into categories on the double sided sheet. He knew he definitely wanted to get her the book charm. That was without a doubt. He saw that there was also a heart with roses engraved in it. It looked fancier than the other charms, but he figured he could splurge a bit on it since it held a special meaning for them both.

As his eyes skimmed the list he noticed an assortment of animals. I wonder…, he thought. He saw there was definitely a dog, which he wasn’t surprised by, but he was even more pleased to see that there was an otter charm! “Well, they are quite cute,” he muttered to himself.

Four charms down, one more. He initially looked for an elf, but didn’t have any luck there. He wasn’t surprised, and he worried that even if he saw one, it’d be one of those Christmas looking ones. Giving up on that, Ron ended up finding a seashell charm which instantly brought him back to Shell Cottage. That was no doubt the turning point in their relationship, and it also represented the place where Dobby was buried. It could definitely serve a double meaning, for sure.

He brought the paper up to the counter and told the kind salesperson his choices, watching as she bustled around to collect everything. She rang the items up, and Ron pulled out his wallet to pay for the items. He carefully tucked the receipt away so he could keep track of his purchases.

“Would you like this wrapped up in a gift bag?” she asked him.

“Yes, please,” he said, glad to have her assistance.

He asked if the charms could be arranged the following way on the bracelet: book, otter, terrier, seashell, and heart. It represented the chronological order of the charm’s meanings to their relationship. The salesperson finished wrapping up the bracelet and handed him the gift bag when she was finished. “Thank you so much for your business, and best of luck. I’m sure your special someone is going to love this!”

“Thanks for your help,” Ron said as he exited the shop.

He figured he should probably head back before he spent any more money that day. Ron could watch the telly, and there was enough food for him to make something at the flat. There was an alley nearby that he decided to turn into, so he could apparate back to the flat. Better to be safe than sorry, since he really had no idea where he was. He turned on the spot and appeared at the apparition point nearby. He approached the building, typed in the code and let himself into the foyer.

When he made it up the stairs, he unlocked the door and walked into the main living area, just as a silvery ball floated toward him. At first, his heart constricted and he immediately became on edge. He was even more worried for Hermione’s safety when the ball transformed into Hermione’s otter patronus.

A moment later he could hear Hermione’s nervous voice. “Hi! I hope this works. It’s the first time I’ve tried to send a patronus message. Anyways, I’m having dinner with my parents and will be back after. Most likely between seven and eight. I hope you don’t mind. See you soon.”

The silver otter pranced over to him and moved in a figure eight pattern around his legs before nuzzling him and disappearing into a wisp. Ron couldn’t help but smile with pride. Hermione was okay, and she’d produced her first corporeal patronus complete with a message. He checked his watch as he set the bag down on the table. Only a few hours until he could see her again.

#ROMIONE #ron x hermione #romione fanfiction #hp australia

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secndlife · 3 years

Note

noooooooo i swore i wrote smth out agshdkdkf--

WAIT. PAUSE. I REMEMBER. I WAS WRITING YOUR ASK ON MY PHONE AND THEN THE APP CRASHED HAHAHAHAHA (fml)

well, anyways, fave goses are don't lie series, but also for some reason, the ad genius one was so funny to me??? the playground one is good too tho 😭 their little skit where they brag to each other!? IT SENDS

also your song selections??? *CHEFS KISS*

okay there was a new mission, so here we go:

first of all, fire sign supremacy baby 😤 on a completely unrelated note, i saw your sims(?) layout for the mmf couple. and i lost it when you pointed out hoshi v mc's set up LOL the laptop!? plz i was cackling!!!!!

anyways, new mission time, so here are some semi-random questions :D

1. what are your top 5 fav svt choreos?

2. kiss marry kill: jeonghan soonyoung seungcheol

3. would you rather go into a tiger's den w soonyoung? or plant rice all day in a paddy w vernon?

4. if you could cast svt in a movie, which movie would you cast them in and what roles would they play? (doesn't have to be all 13 members!)

forgot to sign off again (i am not good at this anon thing LOL)

- 🍳

HIIIII BUB pls tumblr is acting out it's just so bad i've been writing my asks for my anon somewhere else then i just paste it bc it saves the trouble!

ok lemme add a cut hehe

don't lie goses are superior !!! soonyoung on the second one pls he is CRAZY I CANNOT!!!!!!!! i haven't watched ad genius yet im so late on goses 😢😢😢 maybe i'll find some time this weekend! AND YES THE PLAYGROUND ONE I LOVE IT SO MUCH especially bc they all bully mingyu and i think that's so funny even tho i feel bad for him aksdakjfsjfk

YES FIRE SIGN SUPREMACY!!!!!!!!!!!! 🔥🔥 we're simply the best

YES IT'S A SIMS LAYOUT i'm so happy you saw it when doki and i were like done with it i couldn't stop staring and laughing because it's just SO FUCKING FUNNY like mc has a legit grown up set up like plants and candles and a laptop and an extra monitor and all that shit. and then. soonyoung. literally just the laptop and A TOY!!!!! and the rug (which was a gift from mc hehe). like i think it captures them soososososo well aksdajkdashakjfh it's not pretty but it's literally them and i loved everything about it and sorry for the rant i was just so excited about that layout asjdjakaksd

OK LET'S GET IT

for choreos

1. falling flower: who does it like her? no one. absolutely amazing. breathtaking. unbelievable.

2. home: ok i'm probably being biased but the door thingies are just so good to me and it just makes my heart so warm

3. thanks: THE CHOREO FOR JEONGHAN'S FIRST PART i think that's just so pretty and well put together

4. call call call: POWERFUL QUEEN idk it just makes me hyped and i love everything about it!!!!!

5. don't wanna cry: there's something about how idk gentle? and sensitive? and yet so poweful this chore is to me and urgh!!!!

ok kiss marry kill this was HARD bc if i'm being biased it's easy but if i take everything into account like HOW WELL we would get along then it gets hard

bc like cheol is #1 husband material out of all these BUT we would fight way too much. and soonyoung has the most kissable lips. so i got torn but

kiss: cheol (c'mon sir let's make out in the closet of a frat party)

marry: soonyoung (i can't we would have too much fun and we're really a good match for each other cof cof mmf)

kill: jeonghan (my enemy, are we surprised ????)

ok the tiger den x rice planting. THE THING IS ! none of these are too appealing for me askdjakshjad like the den is so fucking scary and soonyoung would be too excited so he'd just leave me scared and alone ! and rice planting is not my vibe at all i'm like The city girl aksdasdajdh so this was actually hard. but let's go with rice planting with vernon bc he's fun and it wouldn't be so bad

LASTLY THE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO GOOD!!!!!!! and it tingles my writer senses ! ok so i'm not gonna do all just the ones that speak to me the most:

cheol would be great as the leading man for an action comedy movie? kinda like killers? dunno if you had watched it but it has the athetic side that he can deliver and also the romantic comedy side

jeonghan for me suits a movie like made of honor? this "i'm too good for a relationship vibe but then i fall in love with my best friend and she's about to get married fuckkkkkk". i think this dynamic is great for him. or also anything that would go for e2l KAJDAKDHADKJH

joshua can cast literally any movie he is so idk shapeable? but i mostly see him as mc's best friend? like literally the best of friends

jihoon 10/10 leading a musical. or maybe a role like kelsey in hsm? AKKLAJSDKADJ

seokmin pls go for a romantic comedy and be the cute charming neighbor that gets the girl in the end

mingyu HE CAN DO SOMETHING LIKE NO RESERVATIONS!!!!!!!!!!! god i love that movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

minghao maybe some new indie stuff like those b&w movies that have a very deep and substantial plot and that talk about darker things in life

ok yeah that's my take it's 10 am so maybe my brain isn't working the best yet BUT!!! pls share your thoughts who would you cast also your favorite choreos !!!

oh and i always forget about signing off too askdjakjdhs twins once again !!

#🍳 anon

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tk-writer · 4 years

Note

Hello, I am back, again, for a part 2 to my rant cuz I read it again and while I gushed a lot before, I feel like I wasn’t specific enough with any of the things I wanted to compliment. I was too enthralled in just how much I loved (and still love) it.

Okay, first, Tsukki’s characterization. I love Yamaguchi, he’s my favorite character and you characterized him beautifully (so so so fricken well), but I feel like Tsukishima’s always been a bit more difficult. He’s more complex and nuanced, bless his annoying lil heart. And in a tickle fic, which is generally pretty fluffy and often a derivative of the actual characterization (to fit our Special Interest™), it’s pretty easy to make him immediately a lil OOC.

But you wrote him?? So perfectly?? (I’m using that word too much, I know, but I cannot think of a better one honestly) like the balance of this smothered affection and his external cool/aloof image is 👌🏼👌🏼 incredible. The way you describe his train of thought as he slowly loses the battle to his want to just go full Ler Mode sounds so well-characterized. And his TEASING. Taunting and teasing are such actual in-character components to Tsukishima as a character and the voice you wrote them in for him— I could hear it. Like, I know we’d never get a scene like this irl (😔) but the way his words taunt and pick at Yamaguchi with a specific accuracy to make him a little embarrassed and more sensitive, it sounds just like something he’d say. It didn’t once stray from a Tsukishima I could see in canon and I am just—floored honestly. Your Ler Tsukki is my prototype for him now. He is astounding.

The characterization in general too. This is a Tsukishima Yamaguchi story but down to Noya introducing the concept and Suga being a teeny bit chaotic and a tad mothering in his affection toward Yamaguchi. It just fits~

Also the concept. Lord knows a ‘coming to terms with liking it’ kinda tickle fic isn’t uncommon, but I just love the way this one progressed. Like, first of all, we get a dual lee/ler perspective, boo yah. Then, I dunno how to explain, but it’s like so natural? It flows. We live this experience personally so it’s very relatable and it doesn’t always turn out all butterflies and rainbows, but seeing shy lee Yamaguchi get acceptance and affection from his friends and emotionally constipated ler Tsukishima come to terms with wanting this type of affection and being comfortable enough in his relationship with Yamaguchi to pursue it? Then the mutual understanding that doesn’t come as a deep, adult conversation—because it wouldn’t be, not for these kids at this time in their life—but as Tsukki and Yama chilling together, observing, talking, and interacting like their long-lived friendship would have them do. Tsukki teases. Yama stammers. It’s the natural course of things and it goes on step by step until Tsukki is actually taking him apart and somehow I find myself wondering how this HASN’T happened yet in canon when it just flows so perfectly.

Not to mention the actual tickling which, as a member of the community and someone who’s written a fic or two occasionally, can get pretty repetitive and hard to describe after a while 😅 yet the way you described it was was so visceral. I wasn’t ever taken out of the scene due to an awkward description of body position or over repetitive description of the actual ticking. (Side note: the way you write the laughter-interspersed speech is adorable 10/10) Writing tickling is surprisingly difficult after awhile but I’d say from this that you’ve honed the craft quite nicely~

Okay, okay. That’s what I’ve got off the top of my head without having the fic beside me to analyze paragraph by paragraph so— In conclusion: talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular— all that jazz and more. I absolutely adore your writing on these two, and if you ever decide to do another I will be your personal cheerleader through it all. Thank you so much~

i'm

i just

asfjdhs ok let me start over

honestly, i wasn't planning on coming back to this blog anytime soon, if ever. i was ready to leave fandom behind and quit fanfiction writing forever, for reason i'll elaborate on later. but today i got an email about this ask (along with your first one, which i accidentally deleted like a dumbass and i'm so sorry), and after reading it at least eighteen times while tearing up i had to log back in to answer it.

i have never received such detailed and utterly specific feedback for anything i've written. ever. not even for my non fandom related works. lately, i've been feeling really self conscious about what i've written as well, to the point where i can't reread anything cuz i hate it so much, so reading this restored a lot of that lost confidence i had.

the fact that you took the time to type all of this out and tell me about all the little details you noticed and loved... it means the world to me. i worry about all the things you mentioned: making sure the pacing is just right and not too slow or fast, maintaining the relationship dynamics, the laughter and speech patterns, creating a scene that could happen in canon, keeping characters in-character, etc. so to hear that i did all of that right is so reassuring.

i know i'm taking this more seriously than i probably should, cuz after all "ItS jUsT a TiCkLe FiC", but this is important to me! it's my one talent in life and blessed feedback like this is what makes me want to continue with it!

this fic in particular was extra challenging to write too. the two-role perspective is difficult to get right, so i wasn't sure i was gonna be able to do it. i was especially concerned that Tsukkiyama was believable. i'm SO happy that you enjoyed my take on him! i was really inspired after reading another fic with ler!suga and lee!yama so i wanted to include them too.

anyway, before this gets super long too: thank you, genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, for sharing your kind comments. it makes me want to keep writing and to give up on giving up. people like you remind me why i love creating content.

#asks #long post #i'm actually in tears #sorry to be dramatic on main #this month has been hell but this gave me the push i need to keep going #thank you #so much

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forkanna · 5 years

Link

[AO3 LINK] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

WARNING: This chapter is mildly NSFW.

NOTE: Apologies for the delay! I had to go to bed extra early last night because I had a busy, dizzy day today. Hopefully you enjoy this update regardless!

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

"HemmmMRPHLG!"

That was the best description of what came out of Anna's mouth. Worse yet, Elsa could feel every vibration in one of the most sensitive areas on her body. She squeaked and scrambled down into the water as quickly as was humanly possible, but it was too late. Far too late.

"I… I'm sorry, Anna, I'm so clumsy, what- I normally can handle myself! I'm a runway model, for God's sake! UGH! What is wrong with me?!"

But Anna was still dazed. Just sitting there with her glittering emerald eyes blinking at the tiles opposite herself, not even looking at Elsa. And the star understood; she had a lot to process now.

"Anna? Are… you angry with me?" She swallowed down the spike of pure adrenaline. "You are. I'm… I am so sorry. Maybe I should go."

"Go? It's… your room." Then she finally let out a weak little laugh. "Wow, so… that was… super unexpected; I'm stunned over here. Like, you glow up like whoa. So gorgeous!"

The actor wrapped her arms tightly around her body, as she normally did in these situations. Not that one quite like this had ever happened before. Blood rushed in her ears as she shrank in on herself, chest tight, literally shaking. Craving a way to dive down deep into the bubbling waters. "I… I should have told you, I… you…"

"Oh, no, no, it's cool! Woke, remember? I'm not gonna judge, no way." There was that word again. When there was no response, she tried, "Elsa?"

But she couldn't speak. This was a nightmare. She had never accidentally come out to someone before; it was always a choice, and she had a speech lined up, and steps she could take. Plans to ease her anxiety. And now it was all coming apart, her world was-

Trim arms wrapped tightly around her, squeezing tight. Elsa thrashed for just a second before she registered a cheek rubbing her shoulder and remembered it wasn't someone trying to hurt her. It was Anna. A friend.

"You're okay. I got you."

Still trembling, she slowly began to nod. "I… was going to tell you. Right now. I just… didn't mean to-"

"No big. Like I said, I'm no Boomer; you're whoever you are in your heart. But damn, girl, you look so good. I'm losing my shit over here!"

"Thank you," she sighed with a weak smile. Here came this part; it was unavoidable. "I just… want to be taken seriously based on my talent alone. Honey and the casting director, and my agent, and um, the guy who plays my romantic interest are the only ones who know on set. Funny, Brixton took the news a lot easier, but he still… freaked out a little, and then overcompensated by flattering me a lot. That's why I'm not out, why… I don't do swimsuit calendars, or nude scenes, or… it's just going to draw attention, and then I'll be Laverne. She's so gracious about being a poster child, but I just have never had any desire for that to define me, or… all that attention focused on my private life instead of my career."

"No, yeah, I kinda get it. Like… I'm never gonna know what you're going through with either thing, the acting or, um, that." She pointed down toward the surface of the water, and Elsa sank lower in embarrassment. "But I mean, I told you I'm bi. So that part doesn't matter to me. If you're a woman, you're a woman, y'know? And if you're a woman who's packing some heat, well hey, I know how to handle one of those so it's definitely not a dealbreaker for me!"

Elsa chuckled and flashed her a morose smile. "I suppose that makes sense."

"And this is still gonna be my first real lesbian thing, if we go past sitting in a tub together," she laughed. "Besides one girl I made out with at a frat party. And she had braces, so I can totally strike her from the record."

"Ew!" she laughed. "I hope they were clean!"

"They were, she's a good brusher. Just like, the metal… it felt weird, couldn't get past it. Maybe that makes me a dick, I dunno."

"A dink?" They shared a knowing grin. "Thanks for being so good about this - all of it. And I know, I'm not supposed to be grateful, since my gender is valid and so on. But I still can only think about how bad this would go if you weren't so progressive."

"Progressive? Like I'm a name-your-price tool? Dude, I'm just normal. It's the douchebags who wouldn't accept you who are, like… what's the opposite of progressive? Regressive? They're that."

Finally, Elsa felt the knot of anxiety ease… and elation took over. Everything was fine. She had come out to Anna and she wasn't rejected, she wasn't being viewed as a monster. Christmas had arrived a little late for her but it was just as welcome as if it had been on time.

"Soooo. Just to get this big ol' elephant outta here, you did sit on my face. Since we're gay does that mean we did it?"

"BLRPHG!" she burst out — being that she had tried to shout something while also ducking her head low enough the water covered her mouth. Then she started coughing said water up, and Anna had to pound her on the back. "Ah! Oooh, that… that did not feel good."

"Didn't sound good! Sorry… I'm just trying to lighten the mood or something."

"Right! Of course. But… for that to be true, I would have to have gone through with bottom surgery. And I haven't yet."

"So? Like, I still got a mouthful of your ballllllgina!" she hastily amended, wincing and grimacing hard after she finished the fused word. "That. Um, I… yeah, that was super fucking dumb, I don't know what I'm say...ing?"

She trailed off because Elsa was laughing. Really truly laughing again, rocking back as her ruddy cheeks bunched, arms still clamped tight around her waist. Anna merely sat there with a raised eyebrow until she burst out, "Ballgina!"

"Okay, okay," she giggled weakly, ears reddening. "S-sometimes I sound like a doof, I know this."

"You're utterly adorable." Then she leaned in, intending to hug her.

Instead, her lips found another set and they shared a very unexpected first kiss.

To Be Continued…

#Very Important Person #elsanna fanfiction #forkanna writes #elsanna #jess the writer #nsfw--text

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ahiddenpath · 5 years

Text

What Up, Hidden?

I feel like it’s been a while since I’ve done a personal update? Maybe not? Well, anyway, HERE I AM, AT IT AGAIN below the cut!

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

My body’s been screaming with stress signals, mostly digestive system and gall bladder stuff, plus the most heinous menstrual cycle I think I’ve ever had. I was so confused- what am I so stressed about? It’s true that my house hunt has been frustrating, but this is way out of proportion.

I told my therapist about it, and she asked me about work (which is my usual stressor). I told her that my job’s been going fine, but the company morale is the lowest it’s ever been. They’ve mentioned layoffs, and the mood there is just... awful. Meanwhile, lots of people are doing extra jobs (I’m still devoting one day per week to stocking shelves, instead of... Cancer immunotherapy research. And like, making sure we have what we need to work is important! It’s just... not what I signed on for). There’s a hiring freeze, and one group of the company is literally stealing people from another group? Those folks were reassigned with no input from them, or from their boss.

I’m not financially afraid of losing my job, since my husband is somehow the head of software development at his company at age 30 (My husband is ridiculous?! Is he even real?! HOW ARE YOU SO SMART?! I’m reeling, I didn’t even know this was his job title until recently, because he was so blasé about it.) I told my therapist that I am not worried about layoffs. She said that a stressful, resentful atmosphere makes people... stressed and resentful, especially emotionally sensitive people, like me. She also said that I’m likely more afraid than I consciously think. Our culture equates our worth to our production; being unemployed would make me less valuable as a person, according to my culture. And I have a cool job that people generally want to hear about, so it’s likely tied to my identity.

I strive to find my value in who I am, not in my job. Jobs come and go, you know? It’s just something you do for food/shelter/internets/etc. But... I am proud of what I do. I think it’s super interesting and helpful to people.

Basically, I’m hearing that my stress isn’t unwarranted. That’s good to know, but... I’m not sure what to do about it? My therapist suggested shaking up my routine, which has been centered on exhaustion lately. I also have to be consciously redirecting my thoughts when people are grumpy/resentful/fearful at work.

I’m also trying to improve my diet. I’ve come a long way: I eat way less sugar and fat, and I’ve switched to whole wheat products, which are easier to digest. But I’m still consuming too many carbs and not enough veg, so that’s what I’m working on now. (Yaaaay).

As for writing, I’ve been giving a lot of head space to my Kizuna fic idea. I don’t want to start working on anything new until Seeking Resonance is complete, however.

I started therapy a year ago, so I admit that I was hoping to have a post that was like, “LOOK HOW FAR I’VE COME! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! I’M SO PROUD!” But here I am a year later, so stressed that my digestive system is rebelling and I can feel each organ beneath my skin, pulpy and tender. It’s bittersweet, I think, because... I can see how far I’ve come. I’m not consciously anxious about a genuinely stressful situation. I’m not losing my short term memory or shutting down for a few minutes at a time, like I did a year ago. I see the problem, and I’m taking steps to improve things, or at least handle them.

But... there’s never an end point. Therapy gives you tools to handle situations, but you need to continuously use them. And sometimes, you still need to check in and say, “Hmm, I dunno... Should I try this approach, or that one?”

Honestly, I keep thinking of the Steven Universe movie lately. I had a mixed reaction to it, but I loved the message of, “There is no such thing as happily ever after. We always have to keep going and growing. There will always be challenges.” God, what a smart and great message for children’s media?! Bless.

I’m hoping for the very best for all of you, my friends! I’m so happy that you’re here with me; thank you for caring.

#hidden's life

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penumbral-phantasm · 6 years

Text

What I Am - Kingdom Hearts Fic

Finally cracked down on some KH fic. This one is post kh3 with a slight au, so beware! Basically this is me trying to bring Vanitas into the Sora click once everything has settled down u_u

Rating: Gen

Warnings: None

Characters: Sora, Ventus, Vanitas, Roxas ft. Riku, Kairi, Namine, Terra & Aqua

Summary: Post KH3 with a slight AU where everyone is fine at the end. Sora can't stop thinking about his interactions with Vanitas who is now alive and somewhere out there. Lots of bonding between the look-alikes, somewhat redemption for Vanitas. Probably not as angsty as you think it is.

“Ven! Roxas! Come over here!” Sora beckoned from near the paopu tree. His island had never looked so small. Kairi, Riku and him were now grown up, plus they had so many more friends than what they started with two years ago, and all of them were gathered below to bask in the same warm sun. He was starting to see how Riku could call this place tiny.

The two of them perked up from the lower part of the island, running over to see what was up. Kairi passed them as they came, most likely to go and finally make some real conversation with Namine and Xion. Sora still didn’t entirely understand the Xion situation, but looking at her gave him a warm sense of nostalgia and she made Roxas and Axel /so happy/ that he instantly knew he could trust her.

“What’s up, Sora?” Ven asked as they arrived, huffing.

“I wanted to take a selfie with you guys! How cool is it gonna look framed between you two?” He pulled out his phone, already holding it up.

Roxas rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. Sora could tell he really liked selfies and had been eyeing everyone’s phones closely. He was probably going to nab someone’s soon.

“Get in close!” Sora said, angling the camera just right. “Cheese!” The camera clicked off and he eagerly looked at the result.

Ven and Sora were beaming, as per usual, while Roxas had a careful smile there. “You should smile more, Rox,” he said.

“Hey, if you want better smiles just look at Ven.”

Ven chuckled. “Aqua and Terra always did say I have a great smile!”

It was still a little weird to hear the two of them and see the two of them and even more shocking how easily they had melded into friendship, but Sora wasn’t complaining. It was kind of funny and adorable. Roxas, now that he was free to be his own person, could probably take a few lessons on happiness from Ven. There was nothing to worry about anymore!

He looked down at the picture. Well, mostly nothing to worry about. Seeing Roxas and Ven so close together reminded him of his own look-alike. Vanitas was somewhere out there. He hadn’t returned to Ven’s heart but he hadn’t died at the keyblade graveyard either.

It was terrifying to see himself all skewed in anger and darkness. Sora knew how to be angry, and he often was when people were trying to hurt his friends, but Vanitas just seemed to be angry because that’s all he was. Anger, hatred, darkness. Something about it still felt wrong, but the finality of Ven’s ‘okay’ stuck in his mind. He didn’t really know the full story of Ventus, Vanitas, Terra and Aqua. He didn’t know how terrible it might have been over a decade ago. After all, Vanitas was the reason Ven had to take refuge in his heart at all.

Maybe that wasn’t a guy he should think about or worry about. Maybe he was just sensitive about this because they looked so similar. Maybe it was time to put all of that behind them and move forward.

But Riku had struggled with darkness, had been engulfed in it, and he came out balanced and strong and inspiring. What if something was salvageable in Vanitas? He glanced at Ven who was laughing at another one of Roxas’ dry jokes. Ven didn’t seem to think so. Maybe if he knew someone like Riku, he would think differently!

Oh. But there was Terra. Ven /did/ know someone like Riku and had watched his friend struggle with darkness. And Aqua. She was in terrible shape in the Realm of Darkness. Ven probably came from way more experience than Sora could imagine when it came to darkness. Really, he should give it up, forget and ignore Vanitas until he eventually became a threat again.

“Sora? Are you okay?” Ven’s voice broke through his thoughts. “You’re staring at that selfie really hard. Is it not good enough?”

“Did you catch yourself from a bad angle?” Roxas asked.

“No, no! It’s perfect. Sorry, I was just thinking about a lot of things. It’s been crazy, you know?”

Ven nodded. “Life’s definitely taken a dive I did not expect. But it’s over now, we’re free. Don’t get bogged down with all that thinking!”

Roxas crossed his arms. “To be fair, he just came back from nearly dying to save Kairi’s life. Maybe some thinking is in order.”

Sora restrained a sigh. Why did he feel like he had an angel and a devil on each shoulder? He shut off his phone and put it away. “I’ll try not to think /too/ much,” he said.

“Good!” Ven smiled. “And if you ever need to talk we’re right here. I did spend nearly twelve years in your heart, after all!”

Once more, Sora tried not to groan at being reminded of that. He had done a lot of stupid things as a kid when he thought no one was looking. For all he knew, Ven had always been looking.

Roxas wrinkled his nose. “Glad you left it. It was starting to get stuffy in there.”

Ven shoved him playfully, which led to the two of them racing back across the bridge and down to the beach, shouting at and laughing with each other.

Sora hung back for a moment, watching everyone be so happy and filled with light. In his heart he always knew that this had to be the outcome. He wouldn’t accept sadness and death. It wasn’t an option. But things had been scary for a while back there, especially when he lost Kairi, and this image of joy had seemed more and more like a dream.

It was real. It was really, really real.

“Sora!” Riku called with a wave of his hand. It looked like him and Terra were setting up that beachside barbecue they had been talking about. Sora had never had one without the help of his parents or on this little island, but he was glad his first would be with so many friends, old and new.

The sun set quickly around them, the night air mingling with the scent of salt and dying embers. Everyone had settled down to sit on the beach and stare up at the stars. Quiet bits of conversation passed between them all in a comforting hum, some more talkative than others.

Somewhere behind him Ven said, “It’s been so long since I’ve seen these stars.” He almost sounded uncomfortable.

“They’re so pretty,” Namine breathed.

“They really are,” Xion said. “They almost beat sunsets.”

Sora didn’t realize he had taken the stars for granted. So many of these people had been trapped, stuck, waiting, and he had just been carrying on with life like nothing was wrong. He had forgotten meeting Aqua, forgotten taking Ven’s heart in his own, acted like it was okay at first when Roxas had returned to him. He should have acted sooner.

What if there were other people who needed saving out there and he didn’t even know it? All those stars, all those worlds, and he was just sitting here. Yeah, he needed the break, he really did, but how soon would he have to set off to help another heart in need? How long would he keep people waiting?

...What if Vanitas was one of those people? He still couldn’t chase him from his mind. Sora wanted to help people all the time. Something about that goodbye hadn’t sit right with him and that familiar tug to become someone’s savior once more stayed heavy in his heart.

There was a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Kairi’s concerned face illuminated by starlight. “You look a little upset,” she said. “Is everything okay? Are you okay?”

He could tell there was extra concern over the last journey they had made together. To be honest, he was still concerned about her too, even though she was fine and sitting right next to him.

He put on a signature smile. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. I just need a minute.”

“You sure?”

“Positive!” He got up, dusting sand off his pants. He made sure to give Riku a comforting smile as he walked away from the group, just to ease the soft look of concern that was already dawning on his face.

He took refuge back up at the paopu tree, leaning against its sturdy trunk. He was surprised by how quickly he heard footsteps after him. They weren’t the familiar trot of Kairi or Riku, so they could be just about anybody from the group.

He could tell it was Roxas when he got close enough without looking at him, though. He took a spot right next to Sora, leaning against the tree like they were comfortable, life long friends.

“Hey Rox,” he said. “I, uh, kind of wanted to be alone for a bit.”

“Yeah, Riku said that.”

“So…”

“Well, it was Riku, so of course I had to do opposite to what he said just to piss him off. Don’t worry, you don’t have to say anything to me. I’ll go back in a bit.”

Sora chuckled softly. “Alright then.”

Roxas’ presence didn’t feel like an intrusion. It was almost a comfort, but it was scary to admit that if Sora let his mind drift enough then he could easily forget Roxas was standing there at all, like his shadow.

“Did you ever hate me?” Sora asked in a quiet voice.

Roxas crossed his arms like he was blocking something out. “Hate you? You… confused me. Annoyed me. Once I knew who you were to me I was constantly jealous. Bitter. Upset. But I don’t think I ever hated you. And now? I owe you too much. Trust me, there are a lot of other people that are easier to hate than you.”

He glanced toward everyone on the beach. Sora didn’t have to follow his line of sight to know he was looking at Isa.

“Is that what’s been eating you?” Roxas asked.

“I dunno. I’ve been thinking about doubles lately.”

“Doubles?”

“Don’t tell Ven, okay? But I’ve been thinking about Vanitas. Do you know who he is?”

Roxas tilted his head back and forth. “Axel explained some things. He’s Ven’s darkness, right?”

“Yeah, and he looks just like me.”

“He does? Well, I shouldn’t be surprised at this point. Basically every girl on that beach except Aqua and Olette have Kairi’s face.”

At least all of Kairi’s look-alikes were nice. Xion never looked like she wanted to rip a man in two.

“So you’re bothered you share a face?” Roxas pressed on.

“It’s more than that. I know he’s darkness, that it’s just what he is, but something feels wrong about it. Even Ven seemed kind of mad about it all. About being split perfectly. And Ven’s the light half! Vanitas just… told us that it was what it was, basically. That he was darkness. It made me think of the Nobodies and the Organization when Xemnas ran it. And of you.”

Roxas narrowed his eyes inquisitively. “How so?”

“When I met you in my dream you seemed so resolved to being stuck there. To thinking we were the same. But we’re not, and I /basically/ proved it by being your connection and bringing you back. Now, you’re happy!”

“...I see. And the Organization? What made you think of them?”

“I was thinking about how Xemnas lied to you all. You all had hearts the entire time. Ventus and Vanitas were broken apart, made to be just dark and light, by Xehanort. What if, like a heart, light can be regrown? It can come back? Xehanort would have never told them. What if Vanitas isn’t as dark as he thinks, or doesn’t have to be?”

Roxas leaned back a bit. “You’d also be implying that Ven is capable of having darkness in his own heart again.”

Sora looked to see Ven was dramatically telling a story to Riku and Terra with big sweeps of his arms. He was grinning from ear to ear. He still remembered the warmth and light that had lingered when he woke Ven’s heart. It was hard to imagine darkness could reach any part of it, just like Kairi’s.

“Look,” Roxas said. “If you don’t think darkness can reach Ven’s heart, then I don’t think light can reach Vanitas’ heart. And, if I’m being honest, it sounds like you’re creating a problem when there isn’t one. No one is looking for Vanitas. Maybe you should just enjoy the break for once. I almost regret telling you to think more.”

Sora sighed. “Yeah, you’re...you’re right. I’ll lay off. Let it go.”

He clasped a hand on his shoulder. “Sora, if you /do/ decide to do something, don’t forget you’ve got everyone here. And, uh, probably don’t do anything about Vanitas without telling Ven. Or at least Aqua.”

“Yeah, of course. Thanks.”

“No problem.” Roxas left him with a final wave and rejoined the others. Sora could see Riku leaping to his feet, flinging questions at Roxas. It warmed his heart that his friend was so concerned for him. Of course he had everyone here. He wasn’t going to do anything alone anymore.

And maybe… well maybe he really should just let it go.

It was only a few weeks later when Sora got a call from Ven. He had been relaxing on the beach with Namine, finally taking some time to really talk to her and watch her cute drawings, when his phone went off.

Namine leaned over his shoulder curiously as Ven’s disgruntled face appeared on screen. “Hello Ventus,” she said with a smile.

“Hey Namine, Sora. Thought I’d let you guys know that Terra, Aqua and I just got out of a bit of a situation.”

“What kind of situation? Heartless?” Sora asked.

“Unversed.”

“Oh.” They had all assumed it was only a matter of time before the Unversed returned to be a menace, but everyone thought it would be at least a few months. Vanitas didn’t waste time, it seemed. “Was it a lot?”

“No, not really. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be in the future or that they’ll only appear at the Land of Departure. Keep your eyes open, okay?”

There was a muffled ‘is that Sora?’ in the background before Terra appeared in view, squishing close to his friend. “Hey Sora!” He greeted. There was a bit of dirt on his cheek.

“Hey, Terra. You guys okay?”

“Yeah, those guys were no problem. You stay safe though! They’re no Heartless, but they’re not easy either.”

“Got it. I’ll let Riku and Kairi know.” He paused. “Are there any… long term plans to dealing with them?” Terra was right, the Unversed weren’t Heartless. They had a clear source and a clear way to stop that source.

“Right now, I’m not sure,” Ven said. “But you can leave that to us.”

“I want to help! If I can.”

He smiled. “Of course you do, Sora. But Vanitas is my --our-- problem. We know how to deal with him. Just call me back if Unversed appear on the islands, okay? I’m gonna let Lea and Roxas know.”

“Okay,” Sora said. “I’ll talk to you guys later.” He said his goodbyes and hung up the phone.

Namine was looking at him in a funny way. He raised an eyebrow. “Don’t worry,” he said. “We’ll deal with any Unversed that come this way. You’ll be safe.”

She shook her head. “I’m not worried about the Unversed.” She flipped through her sketchbook to what looked like Sora. No, the hair was darker, the outfit different. “I know loneliness. As a Nobody, I knew nothingness, too. But I wonder how lonely it is to wander the world of light as a creature of darkness.”

“Do you think Vanitas needs saving, then?”

“I don’t know. He either needs saving, or he needs to be stopped. But I really do wonder…” She sighed, flipping back to a clean page. “Whatever you choose to do, Sora, it’ll be the right thing because you follow your heart.”

He smiled. “Thanks, Namine.”

The Unversed that appeared on Destiny Islands were not the small rabbit looking creatures Sora had seen before. There was only one, for starters, and it was a big hulking mess. There were claws and arms reaching around in an innumerable amount and shifty eyes that bounced between Sora, Riku and Kairi. Parts of it were distorted too, like the monster just couldn’t get a grip long enough to be stable, which made pinning it down and hitting it all the more difficult. Leave it to Vanitas to take instability and use it as an advantage.

Riku struck it down with more ease than Sora or Kairi. He really did deserve title of Master, it seemed, and they all watched the creature fade away. Sora wondered where it was fading to, where Vanitas was that he could easily unleash the Unversed upon them when they were just relaxing.

Riku shook his head. “I thought it would be smaller.”

“I thought there would be more,” said Kairi, letting her keyblade disappear.

Sora considered searching the island for Vanitas, but he could be gone within a second. It wasn’t worth it. His phone went off with a text from someone.

“Who is it?” Riku asked.

“It’s Roxas. There was an Unversed in Twilight Town.”

Kairi frowned. An Unversed on their little island wasn’t nearly as disastrous as one in the populated Twilight Town. “Is everyone okay?”

“Yeah, it seems it. I’m gonna head to the Land of Departure.”

“What, why?”

“I want to talk to Ven about something.”

“I’ll come with you,” Riku said.

“No, it’s fine. I’m not doing anything dangerous,” Sora said. “Just wanna talk.”

Riku and Kairi exchanged a glance. He knew it was concern, but it came off with a level of distrust. He could admit that he may have made one too many rash decisions in the past to warrant their worry. Still, they let him go without further complaint.

When he arrived at the Land of Departure, Ven, Terra and Aqua were already outside talking with Roxas.

“Roxas?” He called, confused.

He waved at him. “Told you Sora would show up,” he said to Ven.

“You dealt with the Unversed?” Aqua asked.

“Yeah, with Riku and Kairi. Have you guys seen Vanitas?”

Ven shook his head. “No, but I can guess one place he might have slithered off to. He doesn’t have many options.”

“The Keyblade Graveyard?” Roxas guessed.

“Yup. You want to confront him again, don’t you Sora?”

“I just want to help.”

Ven exchange glances with Terra and Aqua. “You can come, both of you. We’ll probably need all the help we can get.”

“Thanks, Ven!”

The Keyblade Graveyard hadn’t changed at all since they last came. It was still void of life and filled with dull keyblades stuck in the ground. Roxas and Sora hung back a bit from the other three, the former leaning close to tell him something.

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Roxas said.

“I’m just going to do whatever I can to help. My hopes are at normal level, promise.”

Roxas only gave a small huff as an answer.

“Look!” Terra said. In front of them a large Unversed had formed with a bunch of smaller Floods surrounding it. Others were appearing too, wearing expressions of frustration or confusion.

“That’s the most yet,” Aqua said. “Vanitas can’t be far.”

“You won’t have to do much looking,” an irritating drawl said. Vanitas himself stepped out of a portal of darkness. His helmet was gone, leaving the snarl on his face in perfect sight. “Already eager for a rematch, Ventus?”

Ven’s keyblade was out. He was already flipping it around in his hand with anticipation. “Won’t be much of a match!”

“I can deal with Vanitas,” Aqua said.

“No,” Roxas interjected. “All these Unversed are going to be way harder than one angry looking Sora. Let Ven and Sora deal with him.”

Sora gave a surprised look to Roxas, which was pointedly ignored as he drew Oathkeeper and Oblivion.

“But-”

“We can handle this,” Ven said. He exchanged a look of determination with Sora. “Come on!”

The two of them broke off from the other three to pursue Vanitas, who was already using the keyblades to his advantage to fly around. Sora wished that strange boy would appear and give him the ability to ride the keyblades again, but it was definitely asking too much. That was probably a one time deal.

Ven had always been a pretty good shot with his keyblade. He threw it like it was a frisbee, aiming right at Vanitas’ back. Too bad Vanitas himself was pretty good at dodging things on his torrent of keyblades.

Sora threw a blizzard spell his way, catching part of his shoulder. He didn’t let up, instead diving back down towards them with his keyblade raised and thousands more charging close. Ven leapt in front of Sora, ready to throw up a guard and protect him, when there was a sudden falter in Vanitas’ attack.

The keyblades crashed to the ground, taking their rider with them. Even though he was up two beats later, Sora could see there was pain etched in his face. He looked behind him. Roxas had dealt a finishing blow to the giant Unversed and it was seeping back into Vanitas.

Ven attacked Vanitas with a signature swift blow, but Vanitas pushed back easily, tossing him right into the distracted Sora.

Sora was surprised to hear the annoyed growl coming from Vanitas as the Unversed Roxas had just taken down reformed itself by those three again. The Floods were seeping back into Vanitas, too, and each one seemed to spark a note of even more frustration in his face. Frustration that he was losing? But he wasn’t, not really. He couldn’t seem to help reacting to whatever Unversed was being destroyed.

Ven got back up, giving a confused look to Sora who still seemed dazed. Vanitas went in for another blow, but Ven was quick to use his magic. The light of Salvation surrounded them, it’s warm healing aura rushing over Sora’s body like a wave.

It only hurt Vanitas who was pushed back by its force. His face was held in a tight grimace as he steadied himself against the light.

Ven narrowed his eyes. “What are you even trying to get at anymore, Vanitas!? There’s no war, no Master Xehanort to follow like a dog. We beat you once and we can do it again. It’s /over/.”

Sora finally got to his feet. Was he imagining things? What did it feel like to have the Unversed flow in and out of his body on the whim of keyblade wielders? “We can stop fighting,” he said.

It was too much to hope that those words would reach Vanitas. He hardly looked bothered or contemplative over them. Just annoyed. Mildly inconvenienced by them trying to negotiate peace in a scrap.

“And do what?” Vanitas asked. “Sit around braiding each other’s hair?”

Ven’s hand became a tight fist. “Why does everything have to be so difficult with you?”

“If I’m difficult, it comes from you.” He raised his keyblade, done with talking. His glare felt so /personal/ as more Unversed poured out into the graveyard around them. It wasn’t the cocky aggression Sora was used to.

Ven was quick to act, leaping at the nearest Unversed to smack it away with his keyblade. Sora made sure to join in too and not zone out, but every once and a while he glanced to where Vanitas was at the heart of the Unversed swarm, surprised to see the tightness in his face as his monsters were destroyed.

“He can’t just keep making these, can he?” Sora asked.

“I don’t know,” Ven grunted. “Usually he’d rather fight me himself when I’m involved. If we can get through them we can get to him.”

“And then?”

“And then we stop this. Vanitas had a chance. I don’t think he’ll take another.”

Sora didn’t think so either, but part of him wanted to try. It really… he really looked like he was hurting. Sora could almost feel it, too. A broken heart aching for something. Completion, light, warmth. There must be something he could do.

Larger Unversed were coming out now, but with Terra, Aqua and Roxas rejoining them they were no match. Each one fell easily, all the while thinning out the crowd to reach Vanitas. At this point Sora knew he wasn’t imagining things. Vanitas looked uncomfortable, pained, irritated, and each emotion became more prominent as they pressed on.

Killing the Unversed was hurting him somehow.

He was blasted back by one of the larger Unversed. He stared up at its scowling, monstrous face, stunned for a moment. How much did it hurt? What was he feeling? /This was wrong./ He didn’t want to hurt him. He didn’t want to destroy him.

“Sora!” Terra dove in quick, grabbing Sora with one arm and narrowly missing a swipe from the Unversed. He put him down, concern prominent in his blue eyes. “Are you okay?” He was already pulling a potion out.

Sora blinked, stunned. “I’m fine. I think the Unversed are hurting him.”

“What?”

“Vanitas. I think something happens when we defeat one.”

Terra looked around. “Maybe we can use that to our advantage.”

“Wait! I want to try talking to him one more time.”

Terra blocked a Flood jumping at them with his large keyblade. “Sora, it’s /Vanitas/. Talking with him won’t get us anywhere!”

Sora was already rushing through the crowd, narrowly dodging attacks on his way to the source. He felt Aqua fling a cure spell on him as he passed by and Roxas’ penetrating gaze as he got closer to Vanitas.

Of course Vanitas was ready to fight with an outstretched keyblade the minute he got to him, his former glare shoved down under a smirk.

“Ready for round two?” he teased.

“I’m not here to fight you or your Unversed,” Sora said.

Vanitas snorted. “I won’t sing Master Xehanort any praise, but how you bested him is beyond me. You have to fight if you want to survive!”

Sora blocked the heavy blow with his keyblade when Vanitas launched at him, but he didn’t fight back. He stayed on the defensive as he held off Vanitas and his monsters, trying to find an opening to say something or prove that he wasn’t here to cause more harm.

Flood launched themselves at him, wrapping their twisty little arms around him as if they were Dusks. His keyblade vanished under his restricted movements and he fell to his knees.

“Sora!” Ven cried out somewhere behind him as Vanitas approached.

“Hold on,” came Roxas’ quieter voice. The battlefield had stilled.

Sora struggled in the hold of the Flood. He stared up at Vanitas. He looked so sure of himself now. “Killing the Unversed hurts you, doesn’t it?” he asked.

“So what if it does? We all have a little price to pay for power. I’m not afraid to pay it,” he said.

“But you don’t have to pay it at all! You don’t have to fight us. What’s the point in hurting at all?”

Vanitas narrowed his eyes. “It isn’t hurt. It’s the emotions I poured out coming back into me.” He put a hand over his chest. “This incomplete heart can take the damage.”

“That’s even worse! What’s the point? If you hadn’t sent the Unversed out we would have never come to fight you here.” He could hear Ven and Roxas approaching slowly from behind.

“And leave you all to live out your days in peace? No. This is much more fun.” His grin was wicked.

“Well, /I/ don’t think it’s fun! And quite frankly, I don’t think you’re having fun, either!”

Vanitas pointed his keyblade at Sora. “Since when did I care what you think?”

Sora continued regardless. “Even if you’re ‘just darkness’, no one likes to spend their days hurting and alone.”

“We’ve had this conversat-”

“And you can’t convince me otherwise!” Vanitas scowled at being cut off. “I think you’re acting out when it doesn’t have to be this way. You’re -- you’re creating a problem when there isn’t one.”

He could feel Roxas and Ven’s presence directly behind him. “Vanitas,” the latter said.

Vanitas’ eyes widened, like he had been too caught up talking to Sora to notice them approach. “Ventus,” he greeted cooly. He looked to Roxas. “You.”

Roxas raised an eyebrow.

“Sora’s right,” Ven continued. “We’re not the same but… acting out sounds like something I would do. Have done, in the past. It’s time to stop this.”

“Trying to have a heart to heart, are we? I told you I made my choice.”

“And I’m offering a second chance. I won’t fight you forever.” There was a familiar sound of his keyblade disappearing. Even Roxas followed suit, but Sora could tell the heavy presence of Terra and Aqua would never dream of lowering their keyblades in Vanitas’ presence.

Vanitas narrowed his eyes, looking genuinely upset for the first time. “I don’t want your second chance.”

“What you want is to be whole,” Ven said. “Or to not be alone. Always hurting because of what you are when you don’t have to be that at all. You know, I’m starting to remember what it was like training with Master Xehanort. Rather, surviving with him. This isn’t about surviving, Vanitas. It’s about living.”

Vanitas gritted his teeth, raising his keyblade higher. Sora refused to wince or cower away. “I’m not above striking an enemy while they’re down, you know.”

“I’m not your enemy!” Sora said at the same time Roxas said, “You wouldn’t make it.”

“You don’t know what to do now that the master is gone,” Ven said. “Well, we’re offering you an answer to that! You don’t have to keep being what Master Xehanort made you out to be. If you turn us away, I won’t fight. I won’t come looking for you. I’ll let you go if you let me go.”

Sora could practically see the gears turning in Vanitas’ head. He did think loneliness was playing its part here. Without Ven and the others Vanitas had no one, and prickly though he may be, very few creatures could truly thrive in loneliness. Xemnas’ final words still stuck out to him about it.

“You make it seem so simple,” Vanitas said, looking up at Aqua and Terra. They were close enough to do serious damage if they wanted to, even with Unversed flocking them on all sides.

Ven actually smiled, albeit in a small and sort of pained way. “Guess Sora’s heart rubbed off on me.”

He’d take that as a compliment, for now at least. “There’s no room for shadows,” Sora said.

“Who’d wanna stay in their shadows anyway?” Roxas chimed in, arms crossed. “Just because you look like Sora doesn’t mean you have to steal his IQ, too.”

“Hey!”

Vanitas looked like he might have been stifling a real laugh there for a second. His rare silence might have meant something. He lowered his keyblade and the Flood holding Sora down released their hold. They didn’t disappear so much as crawl back to their creator with twitchy legs.

Sora recalled how quickly Vanitas had bailed when Ven woke up. He considered himself outmatched against three keyblade wielders and yet had picked a fight anyway with five of them. Was this supposed to be his last stand? Slowly, he got to his feet.

“Charming though this all is,” Vanitas said. “I don’t think everyone cares to broker peace.” He was smirking at Terra and Aqua.

Sora looked back at them. Their glares were spine chilling. Aqua tightened her grip on her keyblade.

Vanitas scoffed. “Still mad I broke that stupid wooden keyblade?”

“You broke my wooden keyblade?” Ven pouted.

“Ven, Sora,” Aqua said, ignoring the tease. “Not everyone can be reasoned with.”

“But they /do/ deserve the chance, even if it is a second one,” Roxas said. “Stop being such a tool Vanitas, and actually take the step into doing something right. Trust me, I know what being a tool is like. It gets old.”

Sora held his breath, afraid the harsher words would make Vanitas draw back in on himself. Thankfully, he didn’t look mad.

“You won’t want me as a friend for long,” Vanitas said, his words laced with a threat.

“Try me,” said Sora in an equally challenging voice. He felt like he was on the successful end of diffusing a bomb.

Vanitas looked around the Keyblade Graveyard. “There /are/ things brewing on the horizon. You and yours might make a good shield when the time comes.” He sounded like he might have seen something, but he didn’t seem particularly rattled.

“What sort of things?” Terra asked.

“Oh, you’ll see. Maybe I /don’t/ want to be alone when it comes. All the luck seems to be on this side anyway,” Vanitas said with a smirk. “Alright then.” He looked like a smug cat. “I’ll stick around. I’ll stop sending the Unversed to other worlds.” He extended his hand towards Sora, staring at Ven as he did so.

Sora took it without hesitation, giving a firm shake. “No more looming in shadows. If you’re really by our side, then you’re /really/ by our side.”

“For now.”

Roxas shook his head. “Friendship with Sora is kind of a lifelong thing. Do something to destroy it and your life probably won’t be so long.”

“Sure, sure,” Vanitas drawled. “We can paint each others nails and talk about how spooky the darkness is with a night light on.”

“Or,” Sora said, pulling out his phone. “We can start with something friends actually do.”

“What in the name of the masters is that ugly piece of-”

“It’s a phone!” There was a small surge of pride at knowing more than someone else when it came to technology. “We can take a picture so we always remember the day we won over your heart, Vanitas!”

“You didn’t win over shit.”

“Aqua, Terra, do you want to join?”

The two of them exchanged a pained look. They still had their keyblades out. “I think we’re good,” Aqua said.

Sora held the phone up with the camera pointed toward them. “All you gotta do is smile. Rox? Ven? You guys joining?”

Roxas had no problem walking closer to Vanitas and Sora to get in on the picture, but Ven was a little more hesitant. He seemed happy, but he had nearly given up on Vanitas before. This wasn’t going to be an easy thing to mend.

Roxas took the far left, squishing Vanitas closer to Sora, while Ven stood on Sora’s right, glancing at Vanitas. Sora wasn’t stupid. He knew this could all go terribly wrong and Vanitas wasn’t on their side now with the best of intentions. But at the end of the day, he could at least say he got a selfie with all the doubles.

“Everyone, say cheese!”

#kingdom hearts #kh3 #sora #vanitas #ventus #roxas #fic #i wrote another kh fic before #but thats on my ao3 #dont feel like moving it tbh #expect more of this au btw #i mean its not a promise #but i might write more

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lloydskywalkers · 6 years

Text

snip, snip

*weeps* I finished this just in time, here’s a trade-

This is for @ninjawhoa , who’s an all-around great person who goes and does really sweet art that successfully distracts me from every other wip I have. (And this fic is entirely based off that, because the headcanon that Kai spikes up Lloyd’s terrible hair is great, okay.)

“And then I just, like, drown it in gel until it sticks right.”

Lloyd watches in fascination as Kai finishes off sculpting his hair into an extra-sharp spike, making sure it falls just right. Kai turns back to the mirror, surveying his reflection. Ugh — it’s been humid lately, so his hair doesn’t stick up quite like he likes it. But the Fire Ninja never has a bad hair day, so Kai’s got enough hair gel to make up for it.

Besides, this is more of a learning session than a full routine. Because FSM knows the kid needs it.

“So you cheat,” Lloyd says, squinting at the bottle of hair gel in his hands. Kai double-takes — how’d he get that?

“It’s called ingenuity,” Kai sniffs, snatching the bottle from Lloyd’s hands, giving him a side-eye as Lloyd scowls. He carefully places the bottle back in the medicine cabinet of their tiny bathroom, hiding it behind Nya’s bath salts and that moisturizer she never uses. “You gotta know how to overcome the weather, Lloyd. Hair care is very important.”

Lloyd props his elbows up on the counter beside him, standing on his tip-toes as to see his own reflection. “I guess,” he says, obviously trying to sound disinterested. Kai struggles to suppress a snort as he watches him pull at the edges of his bangs, clearly trying to hold them up in a style that looks like his.

Oh, all right.

“Here.” Kai grabs the bottle back out, rolling his eyes. Darn kid, worming his way so deep into his heart that he’s sharing his hair gel now — what’s happened to Kai?

“Hop up on the counter,” Kai says. Lloyd looks confused, but he scrambles up the sink counter, swatting Kai’s hand away as he tries to help him.

“I got it, I got it!” he huffs, and Kai watches in amusement as his legs flail briefly in the air before he finally pulls himself up, grinning triumphantly. “There. Ninja.”

“Oh yes, the mighty green ninja, regularly struggles to get up on counters,” Kai says, snickering.

Lloyd blows a raspberry at him. “The mighty fire ninja, regularly dances to Nya’s girly disco songs when everyone is out-“

“You said you’d never say anything!” Kai hisses, pulling Lloyd into a mock chokehold as he cackles. “You swore, you little punk, or I’ll tell Sensei where your candy stash is and eat it in front of your face-“

“No-o!” Lloyd wails, still trying to bite Kai’s arm. “I won’t say anything, I promise, don’t tell Uncle Wu I have a secret candy stash!”

Kai gives him one last hair ruffle before he lets Lloyd go, laughing at the disgruntled expression on his face. “Sound deal,” he says, as Lloyd mutters darkly about blackmail under his breath.

“Now, what I was trying to say,” Kai says, picking the bottle of hair gel back up and unscrewing it. “Is that I’m gonna do your hair.”

Lloyd watches him warily. “Wait, what?”

“I’m gonna give you a cool hairstyle,” Kai says, already squeezing some of the gel onto his hand. “Trust me, it’s gonna be way better than the lame one you’ve got now. I bet I can get some serious spikes outta that mess.”

“I dunno,” Lloyd says, eyeing the hair gel. “It smells kinda girly- ack!”

Kai’s already sprayed Lloyd with the shower nozzle, wetting his hair just enough to where it’s manageable. Lloyd sputters indignantly, wiping drops of water from his eyes. “What was that for, you jer- hey, stop!”

“Oh, relax,” Kai says, as he works the gel into Lloyd’s hair. He frowns as he runs his hands through the mop, catching on snarls and tangles. “Geez, do you ever brush your hair? This is a rat’s nest.”

“My hair isn’t a rat’s nest!”

“Well, it’s not now,” Kai says, tugging (gently) through the tangles. Lloyd fidgets a little, but he relaxes the more Kai runs his hands through his hair. Kai grins — so the kid’s not immune after all.

He continues to slather the gel into Lloyd’s hair, starting to push the - ugh - bangs up, styling them. “Who gave you this haircut, anyways?” Kai says, frowning. “Were the teachers at Darkley’s that cruel?”

“I did,” Lloyd says, glaring at him. “It was gettin’ too long, so I hacked at it with the safety scissors when the teachers weren’t looking.”

Kai gapes at Lloyd, his eyes wide in horror. “Safety scissors?” he wheezes. He shakes his head, starting to work on the back of Lloyd’s hair. “I’ll educate you, green bean. I’ll save you from yourself.”

“It’s not that bad,” Lloyd grumbles, looking down. Kai just smiles slightly, focusing on fluffing the ends of Lloyd’s hair up just right. He pulls a few locks to the left, spiking them up, squints a bit, then pulls one or two tufts down, giving it that rebellious little edge.

After a few more moments of tweaking, Kai finally pulls back, surveying his work with pride. “There you go,” he says, smugly. “A hundred times better.”

“Please, I bet it’s terrib-“ Lloyd turns, going quiet as he looks at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes go wide, and he traces the edge of one of the spikes ever-so-gently.

“Ha, you love it,” Kai smirks.

Lloyd flushes, and he spins back around, glaring at Kai — and wow, look at that, he can see his eyebrows properly now. “I do not!” he says. He turns back, looking in the mirror again. “It’s…it’s a little cool, I guess,” he says, his hand following one of the spikes again, clearly marveling it. Kai smiles in satisfaction.

“Now, let’s cut it.”

Lloyd whirls around, his eyes going wide in horror. Kai opens and closes the scissors, and Lloyd yelps, covering his head with his hands.

“No!” he cries, sliding off the counter and making a break for it. “No, get away from me with those, you maniac!”

Kai just grins viciously, chasing after Lloyd with the scissors as he shrieks, sprinting down the hall of the Bounty.

It only occurs to him after Nya’s chewed him out that literally running around with scissors probably wasn’t the best move. Good thing Lloyd looks darn cute with his hair spiked up — successful distraction, ten points to Kai.

*****

“Kai, I am literally begging you, go ahead and cut it, please.”

“Give me a sec, this is sensitive stuff!” Kai grumbles, trying very hard not to start sweating. He carefully levels the scissors again, hovering over the ends of Lloyd’s now much-longer hair, pulling a strand out between the scissors, and…

Kai quickly pulls his hand back, yanking the scissors away. Lloyd makes an agonized sound, kicking at the counter where he’s sitting on the cover of the toilet seat. “Just cut it already, you’re making it worse!”

“I’ve gotta come up with a good style, first!” Kai defends, waving the scissors around. “You gotta have a vision before you make art!”

“Then could you at least move the scissors before you like, accidentally snip my neck or something?” Lloyd says, in strained voice.

“I wouldn’t cut your neck,” Kai says, insulted — but he stops waving the scissors quite as much.

“If anything, it looks like he’s gonna take a chunk out of your ear,” Nya says, where she’s huddled in the bathroom corner, watching Kai warily.

Lloyd yelps, throwing his hands over his ears, and Kai glares at Nya. “Would you stop it? Have a little faith in me, c’mon!”

“I like my ears,” Lloyd says pathetically, in a voice that sounds just a tad too much like the old Lloyd-

Kai swallows. It’s still Lloyd. Still his baby bro. He just…looks a little different, sounds a little different, that’s all.

And Kai’s going to make sure he’s got a good haircut. If the tea’s gonna have the nerve to age him up and still leave him with that terrible haircut, then darn it, Kai’s gonna give his little brother this one justice.

(Stupid grundle, and stupid Kai for not figuring anything else out-)

Kai takes a breath, and focuses back on Lloyd. There’s no going back now. They’re just…they’re just gonna make the best of it. Lloyd is holding it together like a champ, it’s the least Kai can do for him to act the same.

Kai purses his lips, staring at the blond curls again. Lloyd’s hair is a lot longer than it was, so the awful bangs he’d been getting used to don’t really exist anymore, but it’s still lacking any real style.

So, new style. Kai taps his finger on the edge of the scissors, brainstorming. He doesn’t wanna give Lloyd the same haircut as any of the others, and he doubts he can pull off Kai’s — Lloyd’s hair is thicker, the blond strands better suited to easy waves and little curls that form on the ends. Kai racks his brain, trying to think of a hairstyle that’d work. He mentally scrolls through the latest celebrity styles, any pictures he’s seen recently-

Huh. There was that picture he spied scattered among the papers on Sensei’s dresser the other day, when he was totally not snooping for next week’s chore list — some random brunette couple, a smiling woman with glasses and some tall guy who was too busy laughing at her to look at the camera.

Kai looks at Lloyd again, ignoring how he squirms under his gaze. Huh. Random dude on Sensei’s dresser might have had the right idea. It didn’t look like that difficult a cut, either…

“Okay,” Kai says, snipping the scissors twice and grinning. “I’ve got it.”

Lloyd still looks a bit scared, but he nods. “Okay,” he says. “I-I trust you. Just make it look good, please?”

Kai feels something tug on his heart, and he brushes one of the long blond strands out of Lloyd’s eyes before he can stop himself. “I’ll make it look awesome,” he promises.

Lloyd takes breath, watching nervously as Kai brings the scissors back up. Nya covers her eyes with her hands, but she watches them through her fingers.

Not giving himself any time to hesitate, Kai snips cleanly through the thick blond hair, and tries not to think too much about how it feels like he’s cutting the past away.

New hairstyle, same Lloyd. It’s a new beginning, that’s all.

#my fic #ninjago #lloyd garmadon #kai smith #u have killed me with ur art i hope you're happy

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casper-writes-stuff · 6 years

Text

Year of the Rabbit

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17836331#main

Summary: Izuku gets hit with a species changing quirk when pursuing a purse snatcher and he has to go the next several days figuring out how to deal with the outcome.

AKA Izuku Midoriya is part bunny and everyone wants to pet his adorable ears while he has to go through class like nothing happened.

I've been putting off writing this for ages. It was supposed to be written in December for a secret santa. Then again in January when I had nothing else to do. Now here I am, finally writing it because one of my server friends asked for some cute and fluffy tododeku.

Oh! And a special thanks to @mythical-song-wolf for letting me use their prompt here!!!

Izuku darted across campus, furred feet scampering behind him because their position made it difficult for him to not use all four limbs when running but that wasn’t really all that important, even if it did make his hands dirty as he buried his fingers in the dirt to get a good purchase.

Reaching the dorms unseen had been easy, it was late and everyone was supposed to be inside getting ready for bed or doing homework or preparing for the school day tomorrow. Izuku had been on patrol on his internship, which was why he was only just now returning.

An ear flopped into his face as he skidded to an abrupt halt in front of the building, looking up at the lack of window ledges for him to grab onto in irritation. Because there was no way he was just casually walking into the lobby of the dorms like this.

So he scurried to the back of the dorm building, and was immediately relieved to find the balconies lining the building. Not that he expected them to disappear, considering he had his own balcony on the second floor.

Except, his own balcony wasn’t his goal, because Mineta and Aoyama were on his floor and they loved to burst into his room in a panic to get help with last minute homework and Izuku really didn’t wanna be seen like this.

So his eyes darted from balcony to balcony on the fifth floor, lining up the position of the dorm map in his mind (that he had naturally memorized when Aizawa-sensei had shown the room assignments) with the specific room he wanted. The dorm of the only person he knew who would hide him without question and wouldn’t make fun of him for his current appearance.

Finding the room he was looking for, Izuku shifted until he was lined up with the balcony and prepared to jump. He was about to activate Full Cowl, but then curiosity got the better of him-how far could he jump with his new legs?

As it turns out, he could jump very very high, because one second he was flexing his calves and the next he was clinging to the metal rail that guarded Shouto’s balcony. Holy shit, he just jumped five floors. Without One for All. Okay, that was honestly a rush, why couldn’t he have a mutation quirk like this one? Though he would’ve preferred not to look so… cutesy, considering his baby face already gave him enough issues with being taken seriously in class.

Not the point, Izuku. Come on, you’re literally hanging on Todoroki’s balcony, get up there. Not wasting anymore time, Izuku hauled himself up, swinging his legs over the rail and landing softly on the other side. Before knocking on the transparent doors though, Izuku’s gaze scanned over the area to make sure he wasn’t seen. No one, he was in the clear.

He turned on his pawed foot and lifted a hand to knock on the glass of Todoroki’s double glass doors, a solid thunk ringing in his ears three times before he dropped his hand and waited. Izuku watched as blue and grey eyes peered through the curtain only for it to be pushed to the side and the sliding doors opened to let Izuku in.

Finally, he relaxed, walking into his best friend’s dorm and collapsing on the floor, his new rabbit legs spreading out before him. He didn’t say anything as Shouto moved to his bed and sat down heavily, the other not saying a word as he took in Izuku’s new appearance.

Starting with Izuku’s face, he now sported the two obvious flopped ears hanging on either side of his head. Moving down, Izuku’s nose was now more bunny like, twitching and pink with the different smells of the room (was that lavender? Was Todoroki burning lavender incense right now?). Izuku’s torso hadn’t really changed, aside from the All Might t-shirt he now sported instead of his hero costume, but from the waist down was a pair of rabbit legs, covered in green fur and paw pads that Mirio had squished earlier when Izuku had been brought to the medical staff of the Nighteye agency and hadn’t that felt weird.

The room was silent as Todoroki observed him, and Izuku began to tense again under his friend’s stare, flushing brightly as he squirmed in his seat. He’d put on shorts, earlier, the shortest pair he could find because anything longer would feel weird against his fur and the sensory stimulation was honestly too much for his sensitive skin.

“Please say something,” he begged, wrapping his arms around himself and looking everywhere in the room but at Todoroki who exhaled slowly and ran his fingers through his hair.

“What exactly do you want me to say? Hey Midoriya, is there a reason you’re half rabbit now? Or maybe you want me to ask about the weather and not comment at all on the fact that hey, you’re half rabbit now.”

Izuku flinched, looking at Shouto with a hurt expression.

“I uh… got hit by a species changing quirk on patrol?” the way he said it sounded like a question, as if he wasn’t totally sure that’s what happened himself but had said it anyway because that was the only explanation he had.

Shouto’s shoulders slumped forward as he watched Izuku, and the green-haired boy grinned sheepishly.

“Alright, so you’re half rabbit now. How long will this last?” Todoroki asked, scooting backwards on his futon until his back hit a wall.

Izuku’s nose crinkled as he thought back. “Dunno. We couldn’t find the person who hit me with their quirk when I was chasing a criminal who’d stolen some woman’s bag. We’d assumed they were a partner of some sort and they were trying to slow me down. Sir Nighteye said it should only last a few days at most, but that was about it.”

“So you want to hide in my room until the quirk wears off?” Shouto asked, and Izuku’s face heated up at the thought.

“No! I just… want to hide in here until morning when I can use class as an excuse to get everyone off my back.”

Shouto nodded, not once taking his eyes off of Izuku, though the shorter boy felt like he was just taking in the new changes of his appearance. Izuku shifted in his seat again, leaning back on his hands in an attempt to get comfortable despite the formality of the room and the usual stiffness Todoroki gave off.

“Do you have any other rabbit like traits or is it purely physical?” Shouto asked, both boys starting to relax as they got used to each other being there.

Izuku hummed in thought for a second. “Well, before the sun went down I could see pretty well in the dusk. And my sense of hearing and smell are both heightened, as well as my sense for danger. I was also able to jump up to your balcony from the ground without the use of Full Cowl, that was a rush.”

Shouto’s eyebrows shot up at that, the fact that he was on the fifth floor not at all lost on him. Okay, so his best friend now had powerful back legs that could crush him (not that he didn’t have that before, but now it was just ridiculous). Good to know.

“...Do you want to go to bed? I’m sure I can pull out some extra blankets.”

Izuku sagged at the suggestion, his exhaustion suddenly hitting him like a freight train at high speeds. Fuck, going to bed sounded like heaven right now.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Shouto said, amusement lilting his voice, though his expression didn’t change as he stood to go to his closet and pull out some extra blankets and a pillow.

“Thank you, Todoroki. You’re a blessing.”

Shouto grunted in response, gently setting the pile of blankets on the floor. Though, before he could even begin setting up a proper bed set up, Izuku scrambled into the pile, kicking the blankets around until they formed a nest around him and wow, seeing the shorter boy curled up and relaxed in his new nest was honestly adorable. Noted.

After that, Shouto himself laid down on his futon, not really ready to go to bed, but doing so anyway because it felt weird to be awake when Izuku was, as far as he could tell from the even breathing and slight snores across the room, asleep.

The next morning, Izuku woke up with a start. He hadn't had a bad dream or anything, but he could feel hands on his ears and the second the touch registered, he'd yelped and jerked away from it because his ears were sensitive what was this person thinking, touching them?

And then he realized it was just Todoroki and he relaxed.

"Sorry, they looked soft."

Izuku shrugged, yawning and sitting up to look around his nest. It felt cozy, it was a shame he wasn't going to get to sleep in it again after this. And it was that thought that brought his mind to the day ahead, making Izuku let out a groan. How was he supposed to get down to his dorm and then to his class without being seen?

Todoroki watched as his friends face fell, turning away to get dressed as he groaned and flopped back into his nest.

"I can get you a set of clothes, and if we hurry, we can leave before everyone else starts getting up, though you won't be able to avoid Iida, he's probably already in the classroom."

Izuku sighed in relief, his chest getting lighter at his friend's suggestion.

"Thank you, Todoroki. You're actually the best."

Shouto couldn't resist the small smile he got at the praise, glad he was turned away from his friend so it would be hidden.

Honestly, it was amazing the other boy hadn't picked up on his crush on him, considering it was obvious by Shouto's standards. He would do just about anything the other boy asked of him, including, apparently, hide him from his classmates because he'd halfway transformed into a rabbit.

Then there was also how flustered he got when the other was around, leading to ridiculous situations like his mouth hanging open when he walked into the room shirtless, or tripping over air when walking by the boy while he was lifting weights and the sight of flexing muscles distracted him.

Honestly, Shouto was incredibly obvious, why hadn't Midoriya noticed yet?

He sighed to himself, leaving the room to go down three floors and get into his friend's room to grab a uniform, stopping when he left because there was Aoyama, in all his "beauty rest" glory, wearing a face mask and curlers in his hair. Is that really what the French did every morning? How cumbersome.

"Morning mon ami!" Aoyama called, walking passed without even a second glance despite Todoroki having a tight grip on some of Midoriya's clothes. Well, at least he didn't have to answer any awkward questions. No, that was going to be Izuku's job when the class started filling out and everyone noticed that the floppy rabbit ears on Izuku's head did not in fact belong there.

Making the trek back up to his own dorm, Shouto thought some more about the predicament that was Izuku's transformation. Honestly, he'd been so shocked when he fully registered what he was seeing last night that he'd unintentionally snapped at his friend. If he, someone who was incredibly good at hiding what he was feeling and not making any of his thoughts known, couldn't control his reaction, what did that say about how the rest of the class was going to react?

Reaching his room, Shouto noticed that the nest of blankets was no longer a nest, but a neatly stacked pile and Izuku was now laying spread eagle in the center of the floor, his furred feet occasionally kicking with restless energy.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, raising a white brow at his friend in mild amusement.

"I can't do my usual stretches with my legs like this, they don't bend right."

"Have you tried working around that?"

"Can't figure out how without it hurting like a bitch."

Shouto was pretty sure he was the only one who ever actually heard Izuku swear without a care in the world and he always felt privileged by this. He didn't really understand why, but when Uraraka had made a squeak of surprise when Izuku swore loudly after stubbing his toe, Shouto felt a swell of pride because he was so used to hearing his friend curse he hadn't even reacted outside of concern for his friends aching toe.

“I got your clothes.”

Izuku sat up then, green eyes lighting up with a grin as he looked at Shouto. He really did appreciate his friend and everything he was willing to do for him, and sometimes he tried to give him gifts to show his gratitude but Shouto had a hard time accepting them, so he settled for physical contact because the touch starved teen would never turn away a hug or a few minutes of hand holding.

He stood, albeit amateurishly since he wasn’t exactly used to his legs just yet, and grabbed his clothes out of Shouto’s arms before walking into the cramped closet to get changed. It was a bit of an awkward endeavor, but he managed to come out of the situation not looking too entirely rumpled.

“Seriously, thank you Shouto. You really are the best.”

Shouto nodded, trying not to let himself blush at the use of his first name because Izuku only used it when he really really meant or wanted something from him and it was… always thrilling to hear it.

Having gotten ready while Izuku was in his closet, Shouto stood.

“Come on, let’s get to class before someone rambunctious sees you and makes you late,” Shouto said, stepping outside of his room, Izuku close behind as he slowly ran his fingers over one of the rabbit ears hanging loosely at his side to feel the soft curly fur covering the sensitive skin underneath.

The two walked in silence, Izuku occasionally ducking behind Shouto when they passed a student, no one paying the two of them any mind beyond a couple of second glances. They actually managed to reach the classroom completely intact, no one once stopping them to question Izuku’s change in appearance.

Iida looked up from his studying at his desk, nodding tersely his good morning before returning to his book. Then his head snapped back in their direction and Shouto almost winced when he heard the taller boys neck crack from the speed in which he gaped at Izuku’s new ears.

Izuku gave a sheepish grin, face already growing red from the attention and oh, he was going to absolutely die when the rest of the class got here.

“Morning, Iida. Studying going okay?”

Iida stood abruptly, already raising his arms to start gesturing wildly.

“Don’t question my studying when you so obviously have a change in appearance! What happened, Midoriya? Where’d those ears come from?”

He looked down and noticed Izuku’s furred feet peeking out from beneath his pants and the black haired boy grew even more indignant.

“And where are your shoes!”

“Ah, well, you see, my shoes wouldn’t… fit,” Todoroki also hadn’t grabbed them, but that didn’t really matter anyway because his shoes were not made for rabbit feet.

“And the ears and feet? Midoriya please! Where on Earth did you get this new appearance when it is quite impossible to change so drastically overnight!”

Izuku glanced at Shouto for help, but the icy flame simply sat in his seat and watched the whole scene unfold with an air of amusement. Traitor.

“I uh, got hit by a species changing quirk when pursuing a purse snatcher last night. I’ve been like this ever since.”

Iida pursed his lips, but seemed to accept the explanation because he sat down and glanced over his notes before speaking up again.

“I hope you know that every single girl in class is going to be all over you,” he warned, looking at Izuku over his glasses and wow, did Tenya know he could be really intimidating when he did that?

Izuku groaned, nodding at the statement. “Yeah, I know I kind of figured. It’s why I snuck into the dorms last night through Todoroki’s room instead of going to my own.”

Tenya tensed at that, ready to scold Izuku for going that far when a bright, cheery squeal permeated the air and suddenly Izuku’s ears were being stroked by hands he couldn’t see and a shiver traveled low on Izuku’s spine.

He yelped, yanking away to ‘look’ at Tooru as the air she gave off permeated a pout.

“You’re so cute Midoriya! When did you get those ears? They’re absolutely adorable!”

Oh God, he was going to have to explain his appearance a lot today, wasn’t he?

“U-Um, well--”

“He’ll explain when everyone gets in class,” Shouto interrupted, making Izuku sigh in relief because his friend had effectively helped him avoid having to repeat how his appearance happened a thousand times in the span of the next hour.

“Oh. Well, can I touch your ears some more? They’re really cute and soft!” Hagakure asked and Izuku couldn’t resist pressing his low hanging ears close to his cheeks in an attempt to hide them from the invisible girl.

“I’d uh… rather not. They’re super sensitive.”

And things continued like that as more people came in, Izuku saying he’d explain once everyone was here and everyone asking to pet his ears with exclamations about how cute they were. Though, no one just reached out and touched like Tooru had when she first entered the class.

As soon as Sero walked in, Izuku moved to the front of the classroom (which was odd because the last time he stood up there he’d been in the running for class president) and explained his appearance.

“I got hit by a species changing quirk while on patrol. No, I don’t know how long it’s going to last, just that it’s going to be a few days, and no please don’t pet my ears they’re sensitive. Yes, I have a heightened sense of smell and hearing, no, I don’t think I can suddenly understand rabbits, though I haven’t tested that last one out, hey Kouda-” he was about to ask when Aizawa-sensei stepped into the room.

The teacher stopped, seeing Izuku standing at the front of the class, frozen and wide-eyed staring at him with… floppy rabbit ears hanging on either side of his face and a twitchy pink nose that seemed to crinkle with his student’s surprise.

“...Get to your seat, Midoriya.”

“Y-Yes, sir!” And with that the green-haired boy scrambled to his seat behind Bakugou and Aizawa sighed because of course this was going to be interesting seeing how Midoriya was going to work around todays training with his new appearance.

Soon they were on a search and rescue training ground, making the exercise for the day pretty obvious, in Aizawa’s opinion. He turned to look at his suited up student’s, eyes lingering on Izuku and his floppy ears and obviously altered lower half, before glancing over everyone else.

“Today is a standard search and rescue. Each one of you will get a partner and will have to save a minimum of five people, represented by bots, in order to pass for the day,” Aizawa explained in his usual exhausted monotone. He gestured to a large screen hovering above him with everyone’s stats.

“I will be staying here and observing everyone as they go through the exercise. Only two teams will be on the field at a time, though this will not be a competition to see who saves more people. The goal is to efficiently save all the bots on the field without risking further injury. Should your actions result in the death of a bot you will immediately fail the exercise and be brought back here to go over your mistakes.”

The class started to murmur amongst themselves, several glances being thrown towards Bakugou, who ignored them with an irritated scowl.

Aizawa sighed, admitting quietly that with Bakugou’s performance during the Provisional License exam he needed this exercise more than anyone else. Still, with everyone’s improvement, Aizawa was actually looking forward to seeing how this exercise turned out, even with Izuku’s new look.

“Your teams have not yet been decided, you guys are free to pick who you work with for this, play to your strengths and weaknesses, no one can switch teams once they’ve been decided.”

Izuku was vibrating in excitement, Ochako already at his side with a determined grin. He was so ready to pull out what he’d been learning during his internship with Sir Nighteye and Ochako seemed just as ready to put her skills to good use.

As soon as everyone had picked a partner, Aizawa pressed a button and the screen randomly selected two teams to go out on the field together.

Izuku’s and Ochako’s faces showed up next to Shouto’s and Mina’s.

Huh, Izuku would’ve thought his friend would’ve picked Momo. Shrugging, he stepped up to the gate of the training ground with the other three he’d be working with, bouncing on his feet in excitement. Which was… weird because he wasn’t usually this excited to do a training exercise in Aizawa’s class. Did being part rabbit heighten his emotions somehow?

Izuku didn’t get time to dwell on it, because soon the door was open and he was off with Ochako, Mina, and Shouto close behind him.

God, he didn’t even need to activate Full Cowl to bounce against the walls of the destroyed fake city, trying to get higher to get a better vantage point to see where the damage was at its worst. It didn’t take him long, seeing the smoke and dust gather near the center of the city, rubble and half a skyscraper standing just barely tall enough to see over the rest of the buildings.

Izuku reached up to press against his comm link.

“Head east, Uravity, there’s a lot of rubble. We’re going to need you for sure to get through it to the civilians.”

“On it!”

Shouto came through a second later.

“Alien Queen and I are going to loop around and look for any further damage and civilians in need of rescuing. You two go ahead to the center of the wreckage and we’ll meet up with you to stabilize anything.”

Izuku nodded despite the fact that Shouto couldn’t see him and continued towards the damaged building before remembering to verbally confirm that he’d heard Shouto.

“Got it, you guys be careful.”

And then he was in the middle of the wreckage, Ochako not far behind. They glanced at each other, Ochako nodding firmly at Izuku’s determined expression. He gestured to the right and up, asking her to float herself up the building to see what she could find. Nodding again, the brunette took off.

With her gone, Izuku tilted his head in the opposite direction where he heard strained metal beginning to snap under pressure of the fire. He darted in that direction, flinching slightly as his comm link shifted uncomfortably in his ear. They definitely weren’t made for rabbit ears, he thought, reaching up to readjust the important piece as he a turned a corner.

Izuku skidded to a halt, seeing an apartment building on fire and ready to collapse. Swearing loudly, the up and coming hero bounded forward.

“Todoroki I may need you sooner than I thought, I found a building covered in fire and I don’t know if there’s any survivors inside.”

“Location?”

Izuku rattled off coordinates, looking around his area as he slowly approached the burning building. The crackling fire was hell on his senses, but he could hear what sounded like screaming inside and made his anxiety skyrocket. Someone was inside.

“Deku, I finished checking the collapsed skyscraper. I have three confirmed civilians injured and crying for help inside with two suspected dead.”

Izuku swore just as Todoroki slid in on some ice, immediately setting to dousing the fire while Izuku struggled to come up with what to do.

“Someone’s in there, I can hear screaming over the fire. Do you need me?” Izuku asked, eyeing Shouto while he waited for an answer.

Shouto shook his head. “Go help your teammate. Alien Queen will be with you once she’s done checking the rest of the city.”

Izuku nodded, darting back the way he’d come to help Ochako with the rescue of those she’d seen and hopefully the two suspected dead weren’t actually dead.

He came back to the clearing just in time to see Ochako crawl through a shattered window, broken glass catching her bodysuit and ripping through it, but she paid it no mind.

“Uravity what are you doing?” he asked, walking up to the collapsed building to watch as his partner disappeared into the fray.

“There’s someone in here, I’m trying to see if the rubble around them is structurally sound enough for me to use my quirk and help them,” she answered, coughing through the dust.

Izuku hummed, noting she was on the highest non wrecked floor of the building about ten stories up.

“What’s the position of the other two survivors?”

“One on the third floor underneath collapsed cubicles. Injuries are light but the massive amount of cubicles makes it difficult for them to move. The second is on the fifth floor, there’s blood on their head they were knocked out from the looks of it.”

Izuku muttered quietly under his breath, listening closely to hear the crying of the person on the third floor. He’d go after the unconscious one first, since they were in more immediate danger of dying. He crouched low, muscles tensing in his new, much more powerful legs, and then leaped to the fifth floor window, grabbing onto the ledge roughly.

Thankfully the windowsill was thick enough for Izuku to swing himself up and land on with the glass remaining intact, not that it mattered since Izuku punched it out not even a second later anyway to get inside.

Glancing around, Izuku took in the scene. There was rubble everywhere, walls half caved in and near a door he could make out one of the bots they were supposed to rescue bleeding and unconscious just as Ochako had said.

Okay, time to set to work. Izuku darted over, reaching the victim much sooner than he normally would’ve with the powerful kick of his legs and gingerly picked them up. Looking back at the window, Izuku briefly wondered if he could get away with leaving the way he came in before quickly deciding against it. He didn’t want to jostle his cargo any more than he had to.

Taking a deep breath, Izuku started making his way down the building using the stairwell. He was careful to miss the caved in parts, leaping over any missing steps with ease as he made his way to the third floor.

It didn’t take long, now he just needed to find the third person in the building and then he could figure out a fast and safe way down while he was carrying two people. Quickly finding the cubicles, Izuku lifted as many as he could, watching as the bot squirmed out from underneath them before he dropped them and picked the civilian up by the waist.

“Hey, shh, it’s okay, I got ya now,” Izuku murmured, quieting the crying of the awake bot as he quickly made an assessment of the floor.

This one, much like the others, was crumbling and honestly it was a miracle this much of the building was still standing with how much of its foundation was wrecked. Izuku kept muttering reassurances to the bot while he looked around. He had no issues carrying the weight of the two bots, so he didn’t even think about adding a third unconscious bot when he spotted one by a window, having been presumably trying to get out before the building crumbled.

“Deku? We’ve got a problem on the tenth floor, one of the injured I found has a meter and it’s draining and I haven’t taken any first aid classes yet,” Ochako called over the comm link, making Izuku bite back a swear. He’d have to talk to Ochako about the merit of first aid because damn it, she should’ve known that already, it was basic training!

And now he had the dilemma of not being able to answer her because his hands were full and he couldn’t just set someone down fuck. Sighing, Izuku started to make his way to the lower building where he found Mina setting up a first aid camp where they could put the injured as they rescued them. Good, someone remembered the License exam.

Quickly and gently putting down the injured, Izuku finally lifted his hand to the comm link in his ear.

“Sorry Uravity, had my hands full. I’ll be up there soon just hang tight and apply what you do know to keep them alive.”

After getting the affirmative, Izuku darted back into the building and activated Full Cowl without thinking before jumping against the walls to spiral up the building… only to launch himself straight into a wall when he’d underestimated the strength in his legs and fuck that hurt. Okay, didn’t need Full Cowl to jump along the walls, duly and sorely noted.

After recovering from that fuck up, Izuku started making his way up the building to help Ochako with her predicament.

Aizawa watched the screens with mild interest, once having to hold back a chuckle when Izuku launched himself into a wall after underestimating the power of his rabbit legs. Honestly, these four were doing much better than he anticipated, though they all automatically looked to Izuku as the leader in this situation. Which didn’t hurt, since Izuku seemed to have a knack for search and rescue operations if what he was seeing was any indication.

He watched as his student reached the uppermost undamaged floor, though he used the term loosely when he said undamaged. He quickly started walking Uraraka through the steps of stabilizing the bot, and Aizawa could see the struggle in her expression. He’d have to ask Recovery Girl to help her with extra first aid lessons.

Switching screens, Aizawa watched Todoroki leave the now iced over building with two people, one in his arms and the other clinging to his shoulders. At this rate these two teams were going to reach all of the bots on the field and the exercise would be over in no time. Good, he wouldn’t have to dwell on search and rescue for long if the rest of the class was this efficient.

An hour into the exercise, Aizawa noticed that Izuku had stopped responding to his teammates, which wasn’t like him. Upon rewinding some footage, Aizawa noticed his comm link fall out of his ear and ah, that would be a problem now wouldn’t it?

Things were quiet, and it took Izuku a moment to notice the lack of a headache from uncomfortable plastic pressing into his rabbit ear and well fuck, wouldn’t that be an issue?

Izuku frantically looked around for the comm link, not finding it anywhere, even after he started lifting rubble to see if it slipped somewhere unseen. He was so busy searching for his comm link he didn’t realize he’d shifted a vital piece of rubble needed for structural stability so when he heard a long groan of concrete shifting forward behind him he was taken totally off guard.

Whipping around, Izuku gaped as the biggest piece of concrete slowly caved towards him and when it started gaining speed he tensed, activating Full Cowl on instinct and leaped forward, bringing one of his legs forward to shatter the concrete before it could do any damage.

Well that was a rush, but now he really needed to find his comm link--

A loud buzzer rang out over the training grounds, making Izuku jump. Well shit, guess he was out of time.

Izuku groaned loudly, collapsing on a couch now that he’d changed out of his school uniform and back into his favorite All Might t-shirt and the booty shorts he’d been wearing yesterday. Nobody was in the lobby yet, except Shouto, and he was thankful he’d been so quick with his shower.

“Shouto you did awesome during the training exercise today,” Izuku commented, throwing his arm over his eyes as his legs twitched with the soreness aching in them.

“Thanks. I like you.”

For a moment, Izuku didn’t even register what Shouto had said.

“I like you too?”

“Izuku, look at me.”

And oh… he better listen, Shouto hardly ever used his first name for any reason. Lifting his arm, to look at Shouto and see the blush dusting his cheeks as he stared at Izuku very intently.

“I. Like. You.”

Oh. Oh. Okay, that’s…

“I… where did this… come from?” Izuku asked, cheeks burning bright under Shouto’s gaze and he really couldn’t help looking away.

Shouto watched Izuku for a moment before leaning back in his seat again. He wasn’t going to say he saw Izuku’s kick earlier, or that the concrete shattering had absolutely filled him with excitement or that Ochako had noticed him staring at Izuku and had basically ordered him to tell the shorter boy his feelings or she’d do it for him.

No, he wasn’t going to say any of that.

“Just thought you should know.”

And with that he picked up the fantasy novel he’d been reading and acted as if he hadn’t said anything, leaving a bewildered Izuku staring at him from the couch.

Before Izuku could say hey wait a minute you can’t just tell me you have a crush on me and then pretend it never happened, the class piled into the room and suddenly he was being bombarded by his classmates.

“Midoriya, my man! Or, my rabbit?” Kirishima shouted, arms suddenly hanging over Izuku’s shoulders and Izuku flushed a bright red at that last comment.

“I’m still human!” he squeaked indignantly, making Bakugou snort.

“Obviously not, nerd. Or did you actually fucking forget you have rabbit ears and legs?”

“Don’t forget the nose! God, the nose is so cute!” Tooru exclaimed, booping Izuku on his nose as she said that.

Izuku made a noise, overwhelmed by all the attention. Of course that only resulted in Mina and Tooru squealing in delight because apparently everything Izuku did was absolutely adorable in this state. He flinched away from them, grabbing the ends of his ears and tugging down until everything was muffled as he looked at everyone in disdain.

He just really wanted to talk to Shouto after that bomb he dropped, was that really too much to ask?

It was Momo who came to his rescue.

“Guys, you’re very clearly overwhelming him, maybe back up a little?” she asked, getting in front of Izuku to push everyone back a little.

“Oh shit, man. Sorry! You’re just too cute like this? Totally irresistible,” Eijirou said, patting Izuku on the head while Kacchan glared at the red head.

“You have a boyfriend, idiot. Or did you forget that?”

“I have two boyfriends, Katsuki, what’s your point?”

Kacchan growled, stomping behind the couch after grabbing Denki’s collar to just do the same with Eijirou’s so he could drag them up the stairs.

“We have homework fuckers, let’s go.”

“Wait what? But you said I could relax today!” Denki protested, trying to twist out of Kacchan’s grip.

“I changed my fucking mind let’s go!”

And with that they were gone, up the stairs and out of sight. Honestly, Izuku was grateful he didn’t have to deal with Eijirou or Denki anymore but that still left the issue of the girls trying to pet his ears.

Speaking of, Izuku felt a brush against his shoulder and he jolted away from it, staring wide-eyed at Kyoka who shrugged.

“Sorry, Tooru said they were super soft and I wanted to see for myself.”

“That really doesn’t mean you should touch without permission,” Shouto spoke up, though Izuku could see he hadn’t looked away from his book when he glanced over at him.

Kyoka shrugged again, patting Izuku’s head before walking away and would people please stop patting his head? It made Izuku feel demeaned and fuck he just knew this was going to happen. Nobody was taking him seriously at all, only backing up when other people came to his defense instead of when he protested himself.

He didn’t realize he was sprouting angry tears until Shouto was in front of him, gently tugging on his arms so he’d stand.

“Wha-?” Izuku started to ask, only to clamp his mouth shut when Shouto only shook his head.

They walked up the stairs in silence, Izuku wiping at his eyes in frustration because the tears wouldn’t stop even when he tried to force his anger at the entire situation to the back of his mind. Shouto opened his dorm door and stepped aside so Izuku could pad his way inside, sniffling angrily at himself.

When the door was closed behind them, Shouto opened his arms and Izuku really couldn’t deny an offer like that. He stepped into his best friend’s arms, burying his face in the others chest.

They stood like that in silence for a few minutes, Izuku crying into Shouto’s chest and Shouto just being there for his friend.

Once Izuku calmed down, he stepped back, wiping at his eyes and breathing slowly so he could gather himself. Once steeled, he put his hands on his hips, put all his weight on one leg and glared at Shouto with all his might.

Shouto flushed a bright red and looked away because wow that was precious and he really couldn’t handle looking at that much cute in one place.

“Shouto Todoroki, I can’t believe you just confessed to me out of the blue and then expected me to not say anything about it!”

Shouto briefly wondered if he could melt himself through the floor.

“How on Earth can you drop that bomb on me and not expect to say something? And not to mention how shitty it was to say it just before everyone showed up. I mean, I’m grateful you got me out of there, but why did you do that, Shouto? You don’t just tell someone you have a crush on them and then act like nothing happened!”

Shouto wilted, rubbing at his neck sheepishly.

“So you don’t return the feelings?” Which is honestly why he dropped the bomb when he did because he wasn’t ready to be rejected.

“I didn’t say that, don’t put words in my mouth, Shouto,” Izuku scolded, crossing his arms over his chest and twitching his head to get that one ear out of his face.

Hope swelled in Shouto’s heart, but he didn’t say anything. Izuku’s face softened and he smiled gently at the taller boy.

“Of course I feel the same way, you’re incredibly sweet, you’re there when I need you and yes, I have noticed you tripping over yourself when I work out I just didn’t think anything of it until now.”

He knew he was being obvious.

“Thank you, by the way for getting me out of there. I wasn’t exactly feeling respected in that situation.”

Shouto nodded, finally stepping further into the room so he could sit on his futon. Once he rearranged himself, he looked up at Izuku and opened his arms wide.

“Come cuddle with me. You’re soft.”

Izuku snorted, but complied anyway. May as well, since it was rare Shouto outright asked for affection.

“Fine, but I get to hide in your room until the quirk fades.”

“I thought you didn’t want to do that.”

“That was before you became my boyfriend.”

And, yeah. Shouto liked the sound of that a lot.

#jo writes #bnha #bunny izuku #tododeku #shouto has such a massive crush #izuku was hit by a species changing quirk #he only experiences the effects for a few days but it helps him pass a training exercise #everyone thinks izuku is absolutely adorable and he is uncomfortable #touch starved shouto todoroki #bakugou katsuki swears a lot

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chaossmagic · 6 years

Note

Drabble prompt: “I don’t want to screw this up.” This smells like a reunion or wedding drabble...

ask and you shall receive, my dear amanda! have some wedding 2.0/honeymoon sweetness/angsty fluff

~second time’s the charm~

It’s late afternoon, the orange-tinted sun throwing a warm glow over the room, the messy sheets and upturned pillows, the clothes haphazardly thrown over the floor. The French doors to the little balcony were open, and a pleasant breeze was coming through the half-drawn blinds as the air started to cool off at last.

It’d been another unusually hot day, even for southern Spain, and the fresh breeze was welcome, cooling their skin where they lay tangled up in nothing but their underwear, Aaron stretched out on the rumpled sheets with Robert pillowed on his chest, his soft breaths tickling the sensitive skin around Aaron’s nipples. They were tired, and dazed a little from the intense heat of the day, having spent most of it sight-seeing, Aaron playing up his faux-reluctance at being dragged around the winding cobbled streets of the little town just to be a wind-up.

Really, the sight of Robert in his neatly-pressed pastel pink shorts was rather appealing, especially when Aaron deliberately lagged behind so he could watch his husband’s arse as he went off to explore some random shop or other, making conversation in halting Spanish while Aaron watched, more than just the sun beating down making him sweat.

But this, just lying here together and having a quiet moment while the noise of the cars on the street down below faded in and out and the sun turned everything a nice amber hue? This was better, he reckoned. Just having time to be together, without anything or anyone rushing them.

“What are you thinking about?” Robert asked, tracing random patterns on Aaron’s skin with his fingers.

“Nothin’, really,” he replied. “Just how nice this is, ya know, just me and you, without any of our madcap families around. Just us.”

“Well, it is our honeymoon,” Robert pointed out with a smile. “It’d be a bit strange if we weren’t on our own.”

Aaron pulled a face, swatting at his cocky, annoying husband. “I know that, I just meant-”

“I know what you meant,” Robert said, catching Aaron’s hand and interlocking their fingers. The sun shone on Robert’s wedding ring, the one Aaron had put there not seventy-two hours ago. “Everything’s been so crazy, it just doesn’t feel like we’ve stopped, does it?”

“Wouldn’t change it, though,” Aaron replied. “That’s been the story of our lives, innit? Can’t complain now, what with it being legal and all.”

“Like you would,” Robert scoffed. “You love me too much. You’d crumble without me.”

“Oi, Mr. Bighead,” Aaron laughed, nudging him with elbow. “We’ll be charged extra at customs if you over-inflate your ego.”

“Aaron,” Robert said quietly, his voice muffled slightly by his suddenly becoming bashful and hiding his face in Aaron’s chest, “I know I’ve said it before, but….I don’t want to screw this up.”

Sighing, Aaron let go of his hand to gently tease his fingers through the errant strands of Robert’s hair, sticking up in all directions like he’d been plugged into an electrical socket. “I told ya, you won’t.”

“But-”

“Robert. Robert,” Aaron shifted so that he was half-sitting up. “Look at me, okay? You’re not gonna screw anything up. Not this time. ‘Cause I’ll be right there with ya, and I’ll help ya, just like I said I would.”

“I know, I know,” Robert replied, flipping onto his stomach and coming up onto his elbows. “I guess it’s just still hard not to get locked up inside me own head, even after everything.”

“Listen, ya muppet,” Aaron said, his voice light but his meaning serious, “I married ya. I married ya twice. If that doesn’t tell you what you mean to me, I dunno what will. And so what if you’re a screw-up? So am I! You’re my screw up,” he said, rubbing his thumb across Robert’s cheekbone, “and I love ya. So there.”

“I love you too,” Robert murmured. “And I really am glad you agreed to marry me. Twice.”

#peoplediedrobert #lorna's writing #robron #robron fic #aaron x robert #emmerdale #emmerdale fic

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holycalum · 6 years

Photo

vex c.h.

word count: 3.8k+

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, swearing, drugs refs, but it’s actaully not bad at all

summary: the one where calum’s the most™ annoying but it’s cus he’s in looooove (is tht enough??)

a/n: HI yeah i know i haven’t posted in years because um (: i’ve been the most busy ever. i have so many things i wanna post i have like million half written things and ideas i just don’t have the energy to finish or start i know its bad i miss writing. anyways i hope ya like it i know i suck at writing the good ending parts where the stuff happens but i’m trying. send me requests pls it might take a while but ill defo get to them! love yall the most!

“can you please shut the fuck up and stop chewing ice for like, five seconds?” “first of all, i have an iron deficiency, calum.” you sneer, “you know i’m sensitive about it.” “you know i don’t care about your blood iron content, right (y/n)?” calum glares at you, angrily sipping his drink. “maybe you’re pregnant.” you almost scream, “stop don’t say that,” you pat your stomach, “i don’t want to be pregnant.” “cal, it’s your turn to bowl,” ashton says, flopping down next to calum on the couch opposite you. “i don’t wanna fuckin’ bowl,” calum grumbles, crossing his arms and sinking back into the couch. ashton scrunches his eyebrows, “cal, it was your idea-“ “(y/n) should take my turn, maybe it’ll help her unborn child be a champion bowler.” he mused, making ashton do a double take. “honestly,” ashton squeaks, “i don’t wanna know, (y/n), are you pregnant?” “thought you didn’t wanna know?” you joked, placing two hands on your stomach. “no, i’m not, calum’s just being a bitch.” “m’ not.” he counters, “it’s just your pregnant lady hormones are rubbing off on me, i’m surprised we’re all not crying.” ashton just sits up slowly, backing away from the couch. “it’s just, fuck you calum.” you roll your eyes, leaning back into the couch. you turn your body away from calum, focusing your attention on the scoreboard. “you’re doing really badly.” “can’t show up your bowling prodigy child,” calum hardly misses a beat, as annoying as he was being, he was on fire tonight. “wonder who the dad is.” you pull at your hair, “oh my fucking god,” you want to throw a bowling ball at his head, “it’s like you want me to be pregnant, you’re insinuating i’m getting dicked down enough to be pregnant.” “big word, gotta set a good example for the baby...” calum trails off, trying not to laugh at his constant pestering. “are you?” “wouldn’t be your business if i was, or if i wasn’t.” “then who am i to believe you’re not pregnant,” calum shrugs, finishing his drink. calum’s neck looked like prime real-estate for your fists, you had never been so annoyed with him in your time knowing him. for a while you two were actually friends, but as of lately, he seemed to seize any opportunity to push your buttons. michael slid into the spot next to you, “yanno, boys are usually mean to girls when they like them.” he whispers in your ear, “doesn’t that promote an unhealthy association or something?” you roll your eyes, burning holes into the side of calum’s head. “i’m sure someone who likes you wouldn’t claim you’re pregnant every chance they got.” “calum’s not just someone,” michael sing-songed, “i honestly don’t know what sticks up his ass.” “apparently it’s not a stick, it’s my fake baby.” you crossed your arms, still glaring at calum. “ashton,” you piped up, gripping the back of the drivers seat. “can we please stop at mcdonald’s, i have to pee.” “no.” calum answered for ashton, “i recall asking ashton,” you snapped your head towards him, “but go off i guess.” “yeah.” ashton said quietly, switching lanes to get off at the next exit. “no,” calum grabbed the steering wheel, “you peed like 20 minutes ago.” “jesus fucking ch-calum please,” ashton threw his hand off the wheel, “don’t kill us please.” “wouldn’t wanna kill the baby,” calum grinned at you, sarcasm leaking from his dimples. jesus, you think, here we fucking go. “since when are you the dictator of my bladder?” you asked, face red. “peeing a lot is a sign of pregnancy, you know?” calum said, ignoring your question. “so, you’re an ob-gyn now too?” “i’ve taken up many practices since you conceived your baby,” calum insisted, eyes glued to his phone. you desperately wanted calum to turn his head towards you, to give you his full attention. this half assed argument wasn’t cutting it. “i’m honestly so uncomfortable, we’re almost at McDonald's.” ashton announces, “i am not fucking pregnant!” you shout, slinking into the back seat, “why do i even hang out with you?” “hey, (y/n), how you feeling?” luke asks, face grainy on your phone screen. “like ass,” you croak, you’d been throwing up all morning. you thought you were on the come up, and tested the waters with a piece of toast, but you were unsuccessful. “-is that (y/n)?” you hear calum ask, and your stomach lurches, you didn’t need to deal with him right now. “yeah-she’s sick,” “with what?” “i dunno, she’s throwing up-“ suddenly the phone screen shakes and calum’s face takes up the whole thing. his face holds an evil smile and you’re far too familiar with his jokes and you know what you’re in for. “you’re having morning sickness, (y/n).” he says matter-of-factly. you feel the last of your toast threatening to inch up your throat. “it’s cus’ you’re pregnant.” you empty your stomach into the toilet, “fuck you, calum.” you manage in between deep breaths. “i have food poising.” “if that’s what we’re calling pregnancy these days.” “i’m hanging up.” you throw your phone across the tile of your bathroom, leaning your head against the cool toilet bowl. you felt so gross, and calum’s comments were not helping in the slightest. you felt like crying really, he was being such a jerk to you, for no reason. a few fever naps later, you’re woken up by a knock at your front door. you drag yourself to the door, opening it to find a bag from the drug store, with a note reading ‘pregnancy kit!’ you immediately toss the pregnancy tests to the side, digging out the gatorade. you call calum, “thanks for the gatorade, but i don’t need the tests, wanna give them to your groupies?” you say as soon as he picks up. “ah,” he breathes, “of course, how could i be so silly, you don’t need to test something you’re already sure of.” “fuck off.” “i don’t need them,” he continues, “that’s not me anymore.” “ok, bye calum.” you throw your phone back onto your couch, dropping the bag next to you. if he wasn’t such an asshole, you’d think him going out of his way to bring you things would be sweet, but you’re sure it’s just an extra step he took to tease you. if he were anyone else you might smile and blush at the thought, but thinking of calum’s devilish smile while picking things out only made your skin crawl with heat. “(y/n)...” calum pushes the drink out of your hands, “you can’t drink while pregnant.” you nearly break the bottle over his skull, “are you like deprived of sex or something? is that why you’re so edgy?” “i just care about the well being of your baby,” he rests a hand on your stomach, “seeing that it-speaking if we should find out the gender soon. seeing that its father is absent.” you flick his hand off of you and ignore the way your heart speeds up when he touches you. “let’s find you someone, that sound good?” you ask, dropping his calloused hand from your grip, and scanning the bar for anyone that may peak calum’s interest. if you were being honest, the conflict between you and calum, that you dread, lit something within you. whether it was a match under your ass that kept you on your toes, or something warmer in the pit of your stomach, you found yourself red in the face and tingly every time you went back and forth with each other. calum was pissing you off and he knew it, he had wiggled his way under your skin, and you didn’t know how you felt about it. you spot a blonde girl across the room, and you set out to approach her. “no one that’ll take away from my ob-gyn practice,” he shouts as you walk away, stomping loudly. it almost hurts how ok he was with it. you return only a few minutes later, finding it very easy to convince a random chick to talk to someone in a band. “calum,” you stand in front of him, and he glares down at your smaller frame. “this is ally-allison-um, this is allison.” you introduce her, and she giggled loudly. “oh my god,” he drops his jaw, “you reincarnated michael jackson? for me? you’re too sweet, (y/n).” something inside you relaxes at his dislike for the stranger. “what?” allison cocks her head to the side, looking calum up and down. you catch yourself thinking, me too girl. “never mind,” you mutter, “allison said she likes music, you like that too!” “yeah, i go to a lot of raves.” she assures us, “have you guys ever done molly?” “no.” calum is short, “well, i have a few in my bag-“ “nice,” he responds, “we can do a couple,” “yeah for sure,” his eyes are in slits as soon as he looks at you, you shrink under his gaze. “let’s do molly, in some bar, with ally.” “allison.” she corrects, and calum already has your bicep in his hand, dragging you in the opposite direction of allison. your brain is split between wanting to punch him for being so rough, and letting him drag you along. you go with the latter. “we’ll be right back, ally, just need to converse with my colleague.” calum has no intention of ever speaking to her again, anyone named allison, he decides. soon, you’re standing outside the bar, shooting daggers out of your eyes at calum. if looks could kill, he would’ve been dead hours ago, and you’d be beating the dead horse. your feelings were all jumbled up, in a hot, flaming, pile of trash. “it’s cold,” you complain, rubbing your bare arms. “ok well, i can’t control the weather.” he snapped, making your stomach drop, he was being so mean. “what the hell is your problem?” “i don’t need you to meddle in my love life, (y/n).” he uttered, pulling out a cigarette from his back pocket. you snatch it away from him, and he’s left empty-handed. “not good for you,” you explain, “i’m not the pregnant one...” “no one is pregnant!” you shout, throwing the unlit cigarette on the ground. “sounds like something a pregnant lady would say,” calum hasn’t missed an opportunity yet. “i literally need you to stop,” you beg, shaking his shoulders. he lets out a quiet ‘woah’ but doesn’t do anything to stop you from violently shaking him around. “i don’t know what your problem is, but like, you’ve been at this since before i tried helping you out, so what gives?” calum only shrugs in response, eyes drifting to the people flowing out of the bar. his mind sails elsewhere, wondering if the guys would wonder where you two went, if they knew how he felt, if they cared at all. “cal, there’s gotta be like, someone in there for you, if you want a wingman-“ you babble, trying to push the idea of you and calum far, far, far, out of your brain. if he could just make out with someone, you could never think about him like that again, and then you could really get pregnant, and live a calum-free life. “there’s no one in there for me.” he says coldly, turning his shoulders away from you, making your arms drop down to your sides. you can feel him closing off. you roll your eyes, “how are you supposed to know that,” you soften your tone, you didn’t really know how to talk to calum like this. “cus’ i just do,” he’s slowly inching away from you now, trying to increase the space, trying to decrease the connection. “why should you care?” he turned his difficult feelings into coldness. “you’re my friend, i think, if you’re allowed to be so involved in my uterus, i should be allowed to try and get you some!” you fume, stepping closer to him. “i’m trying to be nice while you continue to be so mean.” “why try?” “i-“ you didn’t know, “i don’t know.” “well,” he barks, “if i’m being so mean and you can’t stand it, why do you hang out with me?” “why are you so mean?” you ask, both of your voices raising. “i don’t know.” he mocks you, “you have to know!” you were being far too dramatic for where you were, but you were so blinded by rage you found it difficult to care. “if you’re allowed to not know why you put up with me, i’m allowed to not know why i’m mean to you.” he turns to walk away from you, you grab the sleeve of his jacket, blood pumping rapidly. “don’t walk away from me, calum, that’s rude as shit.” “i am rude as shit.” “you’re not!” you cry, people walking out of the bar into the cool air taking a second glance at your exchange. “you’re not rude and that’s why i’m confused as to why you’re being rude to me, you weren’t like this before.” “before you started going out on dates and shit and getting pregnant,” he grumbled, shoulders slumping into himself. you gaped, “how does that have to do with why you’re being mean.” “m’ not mean.” his voice got quieter, head now lowered. if he couldn’t just box you out he could always try retreating into himself. “you just said you were,” you matched his volume. “m’ not,” he repeated, “n’ there’s no one in there for me.” “you’re all over the place,” you’re head is spinning, and you can’t connect the dots between anything calum’s saying. “cus’ the only person for me is standing outside the fuckin’ bar.” “have i ever told you, you have such a way with words,” you were trying to be so cool, because you doubted that the middle-aged businessman standing near the entrance was the one for calum, but he was making it really hard. “you’ll never guess what i do for a living.” he jokes back, but his chuckle ends too short to be real. “ok, so, why do you think i’m pregnant? like i’m still lost.” “can we please not talk about it,” he begs, finally looking at you. your stomach flips at his eye contact, and as wobbly as your knees are, you’re unmoving. you couldn’t “that’s not fair to me, cal.” “just not here then, please.” the sound of your front door closing was the first thing to break the agonizing silence between the two of you. “so...” you lean over your kitchen counter. calum rubs his face, and groans. “it’s stupid,” his words are altered by his cheeks being smooshed against his hands. a blush creeps up the back of calum’s neck and onto his face. he wasn’t getting out of this one. “yeah,” you agree, “it is stupid, but why?” there’s a long stretch of silence, “cus i like you,” finally cuts through the thick air surrounding you two. “m’ still a little drunk.” you spit out the sip of water you had just taken. “sorry,” you sputter, wiping your mouth. sure he had implied something of the sort outside the bar, but hearing him say it was sending you elsewhere. “i um,” “you don’t have to say anything back, but you wanted to know, so i told you.” he shrinks into himself, “no, cal, i just wanna know why you thought that was how you should’ve gone about it.” you weren’t saying you didn’t feel the same, but you also weren’t saying you’d let him off so easy. “i’m sorry, if it really bothered you.” he says instead, spinning himself back and forth on the bar stool. he was looking everywhere but you. “it’s not that, it was just-“ “weird?” “yeah.” “i know id be weird anyways, so i figures being mean weird would rule out yanno, me feeling things.” he explains, playing with the cuff of his jacket. “oh,” you whisper, studying how his eyebrows scrunch when he can’t button his sleeve. “you can’t just try and cancel out your feelings...like pemdas.” his eyes flicker towards you, “wrong, i did try, it just didn’t work.” “so you still like me?” you ask, “do all pregnant people ask this many questions?” he says under his breath, and you let yourself laugh because it’s kinda funny. calum smiles sheepishly as he continues looking down at his sleeves. “just me i guess,” you decide to play along. “yeah, i do.” “cool.” “that’s all i get?” he sits up straight, gripping the edge of the counter. “it’s cool!” you defend, giggles escaping your lips. “yeah well, what’s cool about it?” he tests the waters, maybe you were interested, maybe it wasn’t so crazy to think maybe you’d like him too. even just a little bit. he leans back against the chair. “i think it’s cool...” you trail off, biting your lip, “that someone so cool likes me.” “you think i’m cool?” calum’s tone is teasing, but you can tell he’s flustered by the way his usually low voice raises a bit and the blush painting his tanned cheeks. “mhm.” you nod slightly, the little bit of alcohol in your system making it hard to hold off. calum’s stature was especially enduring right now, his soft, sleepy eyes and messy hair, your heart swelled at the sight. “cool.” he said simply, eyes crinkling. you only let out another quiet ‘mhm’ in response, taking another sip of water. “so, is that it?” “is what it?” “is that all we say, and now i just have to stare at you until you kick me out?” he questions, face dropping. surely, he thought, you were only playing him. “bold of you to assume you’d even wanna stare at my face that long.” you counter, raising an eyebrow. he thinks for a moment, “bold of you to assume i wouldn’t.” “bold of you to assume...” it was getting really hard to go back and forth with calum now, his cocky smile getting under your skin instead of on your nerves for once. “bold of you to assume i’d kick you out,” “oh?” he grinned, leaning over the counter, mirroring my position. he widens his eyes at you, “better get used to it then.” “are you flirting with me, calum?” “bold of you to assume i’m not setting you up for the best pregnant joke of all time.” you roll your eyes at him, starting to move away. he grabs your hand suddenly, pulling you back over the counter. “i was only kidding, (y/n).” “figured,” you squeak out, trying not to faulted. you swallow hard, “but why do you need to be so close to me?” you were certain if anything was obvious is was the prominent blush splayed across your cheeks. you’d be surprised if he couldn’t feel the heat radiating off of your cheeks. “like seein’ you blush,” you were right, “sure, i could see it from down the street, but this is a better view.” “doubt it.” you bite your lip, “agree to disagree?” “turning down an argument?” you question, “i’m sure another opportunity will present itself.” he whispers, “you know i’d stay here, but it’s a really uncomfortable position.” you speak, after a moment of silence. “and i hate being in jeans. are you spending the night?” “what does that have to do with being in jeans?” he stays leaned over the counter after you stand straight again, and start walking towards your room. “i don’t have any clothes for you, i’d feel bad if i was comfortable and you weren’t.” “not something you’d ever cared about before, doll.” he spins around to face you, relaxed against the stool. suddenly your whole body feels hot. you gulp, “i guess you’re right,” you come back later, clad in pajama shorts and a long sleeved shirt. calum’s lounging on your couch now, feet kicked up on the coffee table. “glad you’ve made yourself comfortable.” “you weren’t going to,” he speaks, eyes not breaking away from his phone. you sit down next to him, legs folded underneath yourself. he glances over at you, a smile smile evident on his lips. it felt odd, not being genuinely angry at calum for more than an hour. “listen,” he speaks, “you don’t have to kick me out, i can leave on my own.” he looks down at his hands, twisting his rings. “you can if you want,” you say softly, covering your yawn with you hand. you hoped he didn’t want to leave, cause you’d be ok if he sat on your couch forever. “do you want me to?” he meets your eyes, you shrug, inspecting your nail polish, “don’t care,” “i mean, it’d be kinda weird if i stayed cus i like you and you don’t-“ “i like you calum,” you cut him off, darting your eyes back down to your nails. “oh,” he shook his head a bit, a grin creeping its way onto his face. “glad that’s out of the way,” you say, still not looking at calum. if you looked at him it’d be real and you’d given into him, who was bullying you for a fake pregnancy only hours before. it was stupid if you put it that way. but if you thought about it another way, it was never really that deep. “then, i guess i’ll stay?” he says carefully, nudging your thigh, eyebrows raised in anticipation. “cool.” you nod, making eye contact for a split second before turning back away. you could combust then and there. “you’d like that?” he teases, inching closer to you. you swear you feel your heart stutter. “if i stayed?” “mhm.” you laser your focus on your chipping polish instead of his body heat in attempt to calm yourself down. but you’re the furthest thing from calm. “ok,” he huffs, leaning back and throwing an arm around your shoulders. you stiffen under his touch, your entire body on fire. as of the last couple of months you’d been hot out of anger, not by whatever this was. calum’s gaze was fixed on you, his eyes fond despite his cocky manner. “you gonna relax, sweetheart?” the nickname dripped like honey from his lips. “you gonna kiss me to get it over with already?” you spit suddenly, wanting to end the awkwardness. you were sick of the jitters now, and all you wanted was calum. yet, you slap a hand over your mouth. he let out a laugh, “can’t with you so far away from me.” you roll your eyes, and lift yourself to turn yourself toward him. “much better,” he grins, moving a hand up to cup your face. fuck that, you think, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pressing your lips together. you feel the tension leave your body, as calum’s lips work against yours. it feels like heaven, his plump lips against yours, hands gripping whatever they can. calum pulls away, forehead leaning against yours, panting quietly. you take in his look, eyes closed, blissed out, beautiful. “bet your baby daddy couldn’t do that?” he jokes, smiling. “shut up.”

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