#I even gave my final fuck you to Elon

[sir-phantom]

I finally deleted twitter

[alexfromjersey]

𝓛𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓓𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮 & 𝓢𝓸𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓵 𝓜𝓮𝓭𝓲𝓪

jenna ortega x g!poc

summary: jah and jenna struggle with the long distance.

warnings: mature language, mentions marijuana

a/n: shortest chapter I ever wrote for this series but dont say I never gave yall nothing. ngl I be forgetting that I made Jah a streamer/influencer 😂. Imma start incorporating more like social media aspects to here cause this was fun

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Series Masterlist

ONE WEEK LATER

“Yo I’m the greatest friend to ever walk planet Earth bruh. Davis finally let his balls drop and now him and Diana are going on a date together” You gushed to the brunette.

“Finally” Jenna chuckled.

It was currently 11 p.m. in London, which meant it was 6 p.m. in New York. Jenna just finished filming for the day and she needed to hear your voice. This is the first time in a week she's seen your face.

She was still on edge about Neil and hasn’t told you. She didn’t want to bring you into her mess and potentially end up finding out about her past. So she kept it to herself.

Your eyes were glued to the screen as you played Call of Duty, "Yeah I told him I'll help him plan his date since he wants to impress her."

"How sweet of you. I didn't know you had a sweet side to you sour patch kid" Jenna teased.

You stick your middle finger up at her to which she lets out a cute little giggle.

"So what's up with you? How filming going?" You asked and pushed your headphones behind your ears. Jenna had tried to stop the thoughts that ran through her mind a mile a second just now. But it was difficult when you looked good with a white tank top on displaying your tattoos, grey sweatpants, your chain dangling from your neck which she wants to grab at, and your glasses on.

After a moment, Jenna snapped out of her thoughts to answer your question, "It's going fine. Tim is forcing me to have a stunt double for the majority of my stunts which sucks because he don’t even know I’m pregnant" Jenna answered.

“Probably got that intuition” You shrugged.

“I guess. But other than that, filming is fine. Quiet little London Town that I can’t remember for the life of me” Jenna said and laid down in her bed. She let out a yawn.

“Go to sleep mamas. Call me when you get up” You said.

“No I wanna talk to you. I haven’t seen your face in a while” Jenna pouted.

You smiled, “But you need sleep. I know you probably have to get up mad early.”

“Yeah around like 4” Jenna sighed.

“See. Call me when you get me I’ll be up” You said.

"Okay," Jenna pouted. She hangs up the phone and turns over to stare at her ceiling.

She felt tears start to gather under her eyes but she quickly wiped them away. She was struggling with the just being friends with you. Each day, her feelings for you grow stronger but it was still something holding her back from pursuing you. She needed to figure it out quickly because she don’t know how much longer she can take it.

🤰🏻🩵

As the phone hung up, you let out a sigh and rubbed your face. You missed her badly. You wished you could just book a spontaneous flight over to London but you couldn’t…just yet.

You needed a distraction. You grabbed your phone and hopped onto your most used app, Twitter (you was not calling that shit X or whatever fuck Elon named. Fuck Elon Musk).

@bronxsheisty: can't wait for you to get home, we ain't got to go nowhere

Immediately, you started getting replies and quotes on your tweet.

@shiestylover: uh oh who’s this about 👀

@ghostridingwhip: jah is possibly taken? yeaaaaa let me go jump into oncoming traffic

@highondatgreen: it’s about me duh

@fnthechat: omg potential song lyrics! DROP THE SONG NOW

@modernbussywhip: i might have an idea and y’all never would of guessed it

@ghostridingwhip: oh do tell @modernbussywhip

@modernbussywhip: nah I need more evidence to support my claim but imma dm you my theory so far @ghostridingwhip

@bronxshiesty:

@modernbussywhip: oop-

@bronxshiesty: u should like share with the class @modernbussywhip

@modernbussywhip: i should share u with the class? couldn’t agree more

@bronxshiesty: oh that’s not- @modernbussywhip

@modernbussywhip:

@munchiesinmycrunchies: day 293792873 of asking for music

@ExclusiveShiestyUpdates: day 293792873 of waiting for an Instagram pic

@bronxshiesty: heard @ExclusiveShiestyUpdates

You exited out Twitter and went to Instagram. You found a pic you took yesterday and decided to post it.

bronxshiesty posted on Instagram after a while.

liked by jennaortega, davison, and 14,574 others.

bronxshiesty i was told to post on here so here u go

View all 9,836 comments

davison 🥶

↳ bronxshiesty u know the vibez

kaicenat god did

↳ bronxshiesty god did 🫣

elfanum big bronx all day 💯

↳ bronxshiesty everyday word 💯

↳ user3836 amp x shiesty collab?

↳ bronxshiesty @elfanum @kaicenat 👀

bbq.days i spy with my little eye a 5’1 boricua in the likes

kaydotnyc_ when u streaming

↳ bronxsheisty sometime tonite

mrenriquemelendez has started following bronxshiesty

aliyah.ortega has started following bronxshiesty

natalieortega1 has started following bronxshiesty

corneilo.millers has started following bronxshiesty

You don’t know what prompted you to click on Neil’s profile but you did. You saw that he was followed by Jenna and Jenna’s mother and he was a businessman. You followed back everyone and closed out your apps. Your eyes then glance down at the flyer on your coffee table. You grabbed it and exhaled deeply. You typed in the website in your phone and hit the registration button.

Here’s to opening more opportunities.

🤰🏻🩵

"I did it" You inhaled the smoke from the blunt. You leaned over and passed it to Davis who took it.

"Did what?" Davis questioned.

"I signed up for the competition. I kept staring at it on my table and just said fuck it" You shrugged and fixed your pants that were riding up your legs.

"Aye let's go" Davis cheered. He dapped you up to which you rolled your eyes at him with a smile.

"You need a musical stage name. You already got a streamer name but it won't be catchy or marketable to the music industry" Davis stated.

"I was thinking just Jah" You answered.

Davis puffed out a cloud of smoke, "Just Jah? I mean it flows sorta...Just Jah or JJ. It's aight"

"No dumbass I mean just my name Jah" You laughed.

"Oh! You could get away with it" Davis said. You knew he was high as a kite right now cause he started acting slower than usual when he was intoxicated.

The two of you then hear a ding from your phone. You grabbed it and saw it was a video from Jenna. You click on it and it starts with her showing her belly.

"Officially 14 weeks pregnant and the baby is the size of a navel orange," Jenna said and showed her belly. It was protruding more now but she was still able to hide it. Only if you got super close to her stomach you'll see she's pregnant but ain't nobody getting that close to her. "I want some oranges now. My appetite has skyrocketed now but luckily my boobs are not as tender anymore, thank god-"

In the background, you heard someone call Jenna's name. She sighed before turning back to the camera, "I have to get back on set but I just wanted to give you a quick update on us. I miss you and two months need to come quicker" Jenna said and kissed the camera. You smiled at the video and rewatched it again.

NYC 🩵:

miss you too 😘❤️

i also want some oranges now

"You know for two people to say that they’re just friends. Yall sure do act like a couple." Davis asked.

“No we don’t. Two friends can’t say they miss each other now” You questioned.

“I’m not talking about that. It’s your body language and the way you act around each other that’s unfriendly like” Davis said.

You suck your teeth, “You go to Hollywood and become an expert in body language and shit.”

“I’m just saying. The two of you need to stop whatever the fuck this is and just get together.” Davis shrugged.

You sighed, “You don’t think I want that. I haven’t been in a relationship in mad long. But something feels different with her like different in a way I never felt in a relationship before. I miss her being around, talking to her, and even just showing her around the Bronx. It's weird feeling this way...a good weird.” You finished off the blunt in your hand.

"It's called love nigga" Davis laughed.

“Alright let’s settle down. That’s a big word to be assuming” You said.

Davis chuckled, “Have your ever been in love before?”

You open your mouth to answer yes but you stop yourself and really think if you actually been in love or not. Sure you’ve been in relationships with girls before but they never made you feel like this. You never felt this way about a girl before.

“I’m guessing that’s a no” Davis chuckled.

“Shut up” You grumble and placed your hands in your pants. You get comfortable on your couch letting the effects of the marijuana relax your mind and body. Davis started drifting off to sleep next to you. But suddenly, your mind starts to overthink about the prior conversation.

Shit, now this was gonna be on your mind all night.

🤰🏻🩵

a/n: i want someone to take care of me like that black woman be taking care of her pitbull on TikTok

taglist: @grandpatrolnut @raven-ss @fanboy7794 @morganismspam23 @cinffy23 @darklron @cheesybacon1 @octavias-next-meat-bite @playboysaleen @niqmandu @zaclewiss @yescruzzzzzzz @silentfor @gemz5 @alwaysdangerouschild @onceblinkarmyandmore @melonfruit442 @zataracloud @nepobaby08 @jennasslut @rimaybank @jaewu @j3nc0re

[thefandom-casserole]

Episode 50 Notes-

Very very excitedddddd

Eeeeeeeeeeee abhhhha ahhansnsnsnsnsndg

This intro 😭 

The dolphinsssssss 

I have no idea what just happened in that intro omg

Taylor is a demon!!!! Taylor hasn’t hit demon puberty yet — how did Nicky get it then???

Taylor Teen Fact: Taylor used to do the chocolate for his baseball team going door to door. But, his mom just bought them all instead

TAYLOR DID BASEBALL

I NEED TO WEITE SOMETHING ABOUT THAT

:> he did all the last names!!

Linc Teen Fact: Linc cleans up for his parents every single morning (both of them think the other one did it). Linc wakes up really early in the morning 

Normal Teen Fact: Normal also sold chocolates and offered to sell way too much of them, couldn’t do it (and because it’s not vegan chocolate his family can’t even buy it!) and now is in debt

Scary Larry Fact: Larry is based off of a tweet on a reply to Elon Musk (Larry is not from the school) 

Scary Teen Fact: Before the release of her album she was going to release a musical (a soft boy musical, but then she realized it was just Dear Evans Hansen)

Larry Fact pt.2: Larry’s favorite show is the Big Bang Theory because it deals with an important scientific principle

IT MIGHT BE THE FINAL EPISODE

I THINK NOT BECYASE ITS NOT LILE TRENDING IN THNBLR OR SOEMTHJNG

AND I THIBK PEIPLE WOULD HE DREKAING OYT MORE

BUT OMG

THE HEARTATTACK

I REACTED EXACTLY LIEK THEY DID

HOLT SBKT

WHAT IF JT IT THOUGH 

Anthony Fact: He should’ve come up with a different name than Daddy Master - Like chaperone or whatever (The rest of the cast disagreees)

They’re all still separated!!!!

Of course Normal thinks Larry’s cool 😭 

Omg all the Linc shippers are eating so far

Linc’s adamants towards Taylor, him wanting to find Scary, him actually being with Normal

Chester and Julia gave Linc therapy!!!

“Linc are you happy?” “No of course not, that’s a silly question nobody’s happy” SOBBING SOBJNG OKG OMG GRANT YOU FUCKWD THIS KNE UP SO BAD

(Obviously it was more than just that and that was a gross oversimplification but you understand what I’m getting at)

Lincccc :cccc

“I’m definitely broken” OMG LINC 

That glass analogy was so fucking good holy shit “And probably they’ll just throw it away because who wants to fix a glass” 

Hhhhhhhhhhhhh

Linc likes stickers!!!!!!!!

Matt Arnold is bringing it this episode

He wasn’t joking when he said that he was gonna get through it all

In a sense

A NAT ONE FROM TAYLOR

THERE WAS NEVER A WKRLD WHERE IT WASNT THAT OMG

I LOVE THAT SO MUCH

Into the papersssss into the papers (to the tune of into the thick of it)

Initiative to fight the Angel!!!!

This whole thing with the paper is reminding me of the fight with book castle when Ron disappeared into the books against Well Actually

I just paused the episode and listened to the trailer because I just realized I never listened to it 

Ahahahahahahahahah the background music in it though it’s lovely

Omg dude I never realized that Lark doesn’t mention Scary in the video because she wasn’t there!!!! Ayyyyy

Okay done with that back to the episode

Beth playing Larry is my new favorite thing now

She should just play Larry season three

I beg

Oooooo the throne’s empty!!!!

Larry should be king of hell

Larry reminds me of if Paeden was evil and annoying

What is it with Linc and Taylor and the sweet prince thing 😭 

I love them so much

The Swiftli shippers are eating this episodeeeee

Fancy Anthony voice

He was a pissomancer 

Omg

That’s insane

Piss boy Wilson’s again!!!!!

Heaven photoshopppp

INSPIRATION AYYYYY

A 22 😭 

Lincccccc linccccc

Angst episode :cccccc

Oooo Angel’s are yummy??

Taylorrrr nooooo

Taylor and his carts 😭I love him so much

Sisyphus just pushing a meatball up the hill 😭 😭 😭 

Nooooo this is one of my favorite bits

Linc loves his friends so much

God I fucking hate Willy

god god god he’s so gross

YOOOOO LARRY AND WILLY THATS INSANE

OMG OMG OMG

WILLY’S DEEPEST DARKEST SECRET HOLY SHIT AHAHAHHAHAHAHHA

If they got Willy in the paper sea I wonder what would happen

“I tried to kill my son”

“I will do anything to not be submerged in water ever again”

“I did not have sex with Marilyn Monroe, I could not get it up so I stood there and had her sing things to me for a couple hours so I jerked off”

FUCK WILLY FUCK WILLY

FUCK WILLY

DOOD’S DEEPEST SECRET IM LOOSING MT MIND

“I’m scared”

Dood babyyyyyy

THEYRE STILL A BAD GURL AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH

LARRY LARRY LARRY 

I BELIVE IN YOU

AWWWWW

Dood babyyyyy nooooooo

“This isn’t your fault Dood”

“No I think it is”

LINC OH NOOOOO

I cannot believe Taylor convinced Vince to change his name

Taylor Swift the piss genius

Freddie’s voice as Taylor was backtracking made me laugh way way too hard way to much that’s insane

It always was gonna be piss between them all

Omg

Of course

Of course

MERCEDES YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

AYYYYYYYYYY IM SO EXCITEDDDDD

ABUELITAAAA

She’s a JO crystal witch!!!!

She pulls out a gunnnn

Wowwww they found each other!!!

MERCEDES SHOOTS HIM NOOOOO

AND THEY ENDED THE EPUSODE TF

Wow that was such a good fucking episode 

HERO SHOULD GET TO KILL THEM BTW

If Willy isn’t taking girls seeiouslyyyyyyy

I don’t say it enough but On Our Way makes me want to violently sob every time I hear it

[bug-eyed-bum1234]

🦢Twitter Snooper 🦢 (Fem! Y/N/Tim Klitz) (1/?)

Word count: 837 (I know its short! Sry!)

Tags: Mature, profanity, overall pervy-ness from Eli, no actual use of Y/N, reader works for Onlyfans, fairly tame!(so far...)

"Hey guys!! Merry Christmas! I bought a set just for this season. I hope you all enjoy <3" The caption read. You were posed in a cheeky, lace lingerie set with green and red accents. You had been posting on twitter ever since you turned 18. You caught many peoples attention quickly, and it helped you realize a path you hadn't thought of until then. OnlyFans.

Twitter would be the perfect place to advertise it, and you would be making money off of something you already enjoyed doing.

That's how everything started. Klitz’s eyes shot open, mouth hung, pupils darting from Eli to Matt.

“Hey Klitz, you good man?” Eli chortled, eyebrows askew. “Yeah you seem a little shook up” Matt agreed.

“Yeah I’m fine! Just another stupid thing Elon is doing.” He wittily replied, coming up with a lie as fast as he could. Eli was the one who suggested to scroll Twitter when he got bored of the porn tapes he “studied” for film school.Klitz’ s eyes shot open, mouth hung, pupils darting from Eli to Matt. Klitz agreed just to get himself away from watching it with his friends on a big screen, at least this way he could have a little bit of privacy. That is when he came across your picture. He didn’t even recognize you until he opened up the picture fully just to see your face greeting him.

“Hey, I’m gonna go get a drink, want anything?” He timidly questioned the tripod.

“Yeah just a Dr. Pepper.”

He shifted his way towards the kitchen. Phone still open in his hand, hidden against the cloth of his khakis. He opened the fridge door, a little more security between him and the living room. He lifted his phone, opening your profile. He inspected your bio, profile picture, and even your banner just to make sure he wasn’t imagining things. Your profile pic was you with a soft, pink filter wearing a bikini top with pastel, heart shaped cups. Your banner was a pattern of those candy hearts with phrases like “Lick me” and “Cutie”.

Your bio simply said: “Miss me! Miss me! Now you gotta kiss me! ~<3”

He stood there trembling, feeling so hot even in the cooling air of the open refrigerator. He imbedded your username into his memory, taking a screenshot just in case. He grabbed the drinks and headed towards the living room.

• • •

Klitz’ s phone buzzed. At first, just a quick *bzzzt* then silence, he decided to ignore it when suddenly the buzzing became rapid. Klitz gave in and opened his phone, greeted with Eli’s name sprawled across his screen a numerous amount of times. He opened the text.

(Eli:) Dude “something with Elon”??? Bullshit. What good shit did you find??

(Eli:) Im being dead serious dude, what did you find??

(Eli:) Istg answer me dumb fuck

(Eli:) wait, was it someONE?????

(Eli:) OH MY GOD DUDE WHO WAS ON TWITTER?

(Eli:) ARE THEY INTO YOU? ARE YOU GOING TO FINALLY NOT BE PUSSYLESS KLITZ???

(Eli:) wait. No i cant lose my virginity after YOU. Im coming over.

(Klitz:) First of all, no girl was hitting on me. Second of all, dont come over. Im studying and dont need more of a distraction than you are already providing me. Third of all, Its my phone, my business, my shit. See you at school tomorrow.

Right as he hit send, the “bing” was accompanied by the “ding-dong” of the doorbell.

He opened the door to a playfully aggressive Eli and perplexed Matt. Eli pushed Klitz into the living room and onto the couch, spewing out ridiculous accusations along the way.

“You can’t lose your virginity first, that’s not happening, I’m not going to let that happen!” Eli spat, pacing the room, punctuating the sentence with pointedly wagged fingers towards Klitz.

Matt’s ears perked up.

“Wait, Klitz do you have a girlfriend?” He interjected between the interrogation scene.

“Guys, no. I don’t have a girlfriend, no one is hitting on me, I’m no where close to losing my virginity soon! Leave me alone Eli, and check your texts, geez.”

Klitz put his hands up in defense and defeat.

Eli’s eyebrow quirked up.

“You still haven’t answered if you saw anyone you recognized.” He prodded.

The room fell silent then erupted with wise words from Eli.

“So you did see some puss!” He whisper shouted while scrunching Klitz’s shirt, shaking him about on the couch.

“Ok! Ok! I will make a deal with you. If you leave right now and don’t blow up my phone, I will tell you at school. Deal?”

Klitz bargained with the horndog, which was immediately accepted with full enthusiasm as a hand came down to Klitz’s, shaking it jarringly.

“Deal!” He exclaimed with immense force. He quickly hurried Matt and himself out of the house, feeling as if they got out fast, the truth would get to him faster.

Klitz flopped sideways on the couch with a sigh. He opened his phone and into his twitter.

He had a lot of “studying” to catch up on.

Authors note: This was supposed to be posted around christmas, sorry it's so late! This is just one chapter! Im not sure how long the series will go on. I hope you enjoy! :)

[blindrapture]

july 28, again.

got asked a question about the july 28th log.

here's a transcription:

Dr0Shadow 🇵🇸 🇺🇦 — Today at 3:42 PM

@DJay did you just throw Elon Musk into the rapture and reference those dumb cars tesla made like a decade before they wouldve been invented

DJay — Today at 5:02 PM it was definitely a nod to the real-life present day. there are some of those in the final draft. but elon musk was already CEO of Tesla, he became CEO in 2004.

the log sorta implies that the Judge chose him sorta arbitrarily-- as he puts it, he's not even from San Francisco. I imagine he wasn't in it at the time and was just, like, whisked away to that court scene. so in some ways it's a demonstration of a "greater" logic being used by Xanadu's judgement (with the Judge as the vessel of that) that greater logic being something like… "this is a name more people in the world will know (even in 2011)." but the Attached for that log more overtly draws attention to real-life shit. the Attached makes a pretty obvious allusion in "tweet tweet" and "Now I'm for the birds." though it's still "ambiguous" enough that one can instead read a non-twitter interpretation out of it. poetry, and all. I seem to have landed on the font for that Attached being Georgia (for the website, and "Chat"/courier new for tumblr), which is the Tiresias/Thoth font. though there exist other Attacheds in a specific other font that are exclusively written by real-life author me, and I could have used that for this. I think, if I had used real-life-author-me font for that Attached, then we could just call this a cute anachronism. but I didn't want to do that. and I didn't do that. I elected more for Poetry. what does it really mean??? I dunno. sincerely. it's the kind of thing that, if I sat down and really concentrated, and rambled at you for an hour, I could reason out a convincing interpretation. and if I had to guess, like. the short answer is, like with the Fears themselves, "it's more about this deeper pattern that real-life Elon Musk is just one iteration of." "Elon Musk is one frond on a big hyperdimensional plant. Rapture depicts other fronds of it and shows how they connect to the Elon Musk frond, and Rapture tries to imply the deeper stem."

but. but yeah. the surface intent is "what if elon musk gets trapped in a car and thrown off a cliff. what if the fictional world gives justice for something that happened in a different world." the surface intent is for you to get a good chuckle out of it. rapture actually has a fair few instances of…….. Real-Life Bad People in completely different contexts. like there's Attacheds, including ones we haven't gotten to yet, saying that, like, "comcast really stepped up when the apocalypse came; they provided free internet for everyone and worked overtime, volunteered, to keep the servers running" and "Rupert Murdoch had a change of heart, seeing the planet collapse. he saved a fucking bus of orphans. and gave his newspaper offices to be used by squatters, pro bono." in those cases they're more like really dry black comedy. the joke is they would never do that. and, if they ever read rapture themselves, they'd be struck with a window into a world where they actually did something people liked. elon musk could have gotten something like that. but I elected to not even give him the chance. maybe we can read this as a Dante kinda thing. how Dante wrote real-life people into his Comedy. how he handled the bad people. and rapture has been compared to the Comedy before, by people who are not me!

it has never been my desire to make rapture into the Comedy. even after I read and learned to appreciate the Comedy. I deeply admire the thing, and I take inspiration from it in some broad ways. but I am willing to have moments in rapture that give you, like, a window into a world where rapture was like a different book. that works really well with rapture as a whole. gels well with it. lots of windows into other worlds. in some ways rapture is a hell of a lot like rick and morty. and that wasn't intentional either! but it's honestly one of the closest analogues I can think of. and I've tried.

[jellogram]

Whenever I see photos from the MCR tour I think about how I bought tickets to surprise my boyfriend at the time who was a massive pop punk guy and then the concert got delayed and he said it was fine but then it got delayed AGAIN and he broke up with me like a few days later. Like I think he was holding out until the show but when it got delayed a second time he was like "I can't do this" and left me.

So I never had any intention of withholding his ticket, that was a gift I gave him and I wasn't gonna take it away, but he didn't know that. And we did NOT break up amicably but we still had friends in common. So I'm getting texts from people who are like "[ex] wants to know if you're still giving him the ticket" and I was like "I'm not saying a word about that."

So then I had to decide if I still wanted to go to the show even if I had to go with that loser and I was talking to my dad about this and he said "Do you think that if you go it will make [ex] uncomfortable?" and I was like yes absolutely it would, and he was like "You should go then" which I didn't end up doing but it was nice to know my dad was onboard for Regina George shit.

So then like a few days before the show finally I text my ex and I'm like "Here's your ticket. I sold mine so you're going by yourself. Fuck you and have a nice day." and this dude is like that Trump tweet about Elon. I could have told him to bark like a dog and he would have done it. The only revenge I had available was making him sweat for a couple months about whether he'd get to see Gerard Way in person and I fully utilized the opportunity.

Anyway so whenever I see MCR tour photos I'm like "I could have gone to that but I chose psychological warfare instead."

[gossipaboutelonmusk]

That time Grimes made a reddit post about how abusive Elon is.... Allegedly.

My (31f) boyfriend (49m) convinced me that we needed to stop talking to my mom. I figured out why and it's messing me up

relationship_advice

Original

throwRA-shifte

6216 2020-05-18 22:30:21

**edit: I decided it's in my best interest to delete the contents of this post.

Everything is under control, thank you all for all your help. Much appreciated.**

Going to do bullet points so this doesn't get to be 100000000 pages long. Also, the title is like, the tip of the iceberg so buckle up I guess

Also I have been up since 4 on 2 hours of sleep and my brain is fried all the time so bear with me pls be nice to me

together for almost 3 years

got pregnant unexpectedly; had a super difficult pregnancy with many complications including severe HG, bleeding, finding out I have a gene mutation that causes pregnancy complications and birth defects. We broke up at the beginning of my pregnancy because he thought I was being dramatic about the HG and refused to take me to the hospital. After i was taken to the hospital and the doctors told him how close to dying I had been he realised he'd been stupid and we reconciled.

I was in labor for almost 60 hours, things didn't progress properly, there were complications, I finally had an emergency c section. Baby was born on Star Wars day 🌟

recovery has been completely awful for me and once again my boyfriend has decided I'm being dramatic because "(Son) is an easy baby". This somehow doesn't cure my continued nausea, pain from having my abdomen opened and then stitched shut, rock hard boobs and sleep deprivation but thanks I guess. He changes diapers and holds/plays with baby when he's not working or fucking around on the internet.

So the stuff about my mom:

Shortly after we reconciled, he and my mom had a disagreement about something. At the time he told me that she was being toxic and trying to meddle in our relationship and that it was better if we ceased communication. He showed me screenshots from his phone that at the time seemed fairly convincing. My mom isn't crazy about him anyway, and she'd made no secret about that when we were separated, so even though I was surprised by the things "she" was saying I did believe him (and stupidly felt like it was the right thing to do to make things work with him).

It bothered me that he was constantly asking me if I had been talking to her and that he was paranoid about it but I was like well, what she said was really hurtful (basically that he was abusing me but that I was too stupid to see it and that she was going to come take our baby away so he wouldn't be raised by him), so I understand.

A couple of days ago I overheard him talking about me on a discord voice chat, basically complaining that I was being lazy and useless since I gave birth and that it was my "job" so I needed to suck it up and do it. I didn't let him know that I had overheard, but I was upset. Later on we were in the bedroom and the baby was losing his mind and I was having trouble getting him to latch and I was in so much pain and I just started crying and saying I wanted my mom. He snapped at me that my mom had filled my head with feminist garbage my whole life and that was why I was weak and couldn't handle something women had been doing for thousands of years. I was kind of floored. I'd never heard him say anything like that before. I told him he needed to leave and go sleep elsewhere because I was really hurt.

When he went to work the next morning I decided to call my mom and to see what the hell he has been doing on the internet, because I felt like that was the logical step to take.

I was not that surprised to find that he'd been on men's rights type websites (if you agree with that fine whatever) and was using them to express his frustration that although he'd thought he'd found an ideal young partner who would have babies and turn into an ideal housewife (which was so weird to read because I feel like I'm the furthest thing from some housewife type and I'm not shy about that, I guess my mom has been filling my head with feminist garbage my whole life after all 😂. When we first met it seemed like we had lots of shared interests and ideas and he enjoyed my independence), but that pregnancy had made me gross and useless and then giving birth made me even worse, saying the only good thing about me was that I had a boy my first go.

I was pretty surprised however to learn that the original conversation he and my mom had was about his attitude toward me but had nothing to do with him being abusive and she never threatened to take the baby, she just suggested to him that if he really loved me he would support me and be there for me. He told HER she'd never speak to me again and that she'd never meet her grandchild. She forwarded me the conversations.

I'm not wrong in thinking this is all totally fucked up, right? There's absolutely no saving a relationship like this? I know it seems pretty cut and dry when it's all laid out but like...I just need someone to give me some advice on what to do, where to go from here?

Edit: I'm okay and everything is okay but I may be quiet/slow to reply while I get some things sorted out. Thank you for all your advice.

Going to do bullet points so this doesn't get to be 100000000 pages long. Also, the title is like, the tip of the iceberg so buckle up I guess

Also I have been up since 4 on 2 hours of sleep and my brain is fried all the time so bear with me pls be nice to me

together for almost 3 years

got pregnant unexpectedly; had a super difficult pregnancy with many complications including severe HG, bleeding, finding out I have a gene mutation that causes pregnancy complications and birth defects. We broke up at the beginning of my pregnancy because he thought I was being dramatic about the HG and refused to take me to the hospital. After i was taken to the hospital and the doctors told him how close to dying I had been he realised he'd been stupid and we reconciled.

I was in labor for almost 60 hours, things didn't progress properly, there were complications, I finally had an emergency c section. Baby was born on Star Wars day 🌟

recovery has been completely awful for me and once again my boyfriend has decided I'm being dramatic because "(Son) is an easy baby". This somehow doesn't cure my continued nausea, pain from having my abdomen opened and then stitched shut, rock hard boobs and sleep deprivation but thanks I guess. He changes diapers and holds/plays with baby when he's not working or fucking around on the internet.

So the stuff about my mom:

Shortly after we reconciled, he and my mom had a disagreement about something. At the time he told me that she was being toxic and trying to meddle in our relationship and that it was better if we ceased communication. He showed me screenshots from his phone that at the time seemed fairly convincing. My mom isn't crazy about him anyway, and she'd made no secret about that when we were separated, so even though I was surprised by the things "she" was saying I did believe him (and stupidly felt like it was the right thing to do to make things work with him).

It bothered me that he was constantly asking me if I had been talking to her and that he was paranoid about it but I was like well, what she said was really hurtful (basically that he was abusing me but that I was too stupid to see it and that she was going to come take our baby away so he wouldn't be raised by him), so I understand.

A couple of days ago I overheard him talking about me on a discord voice chat, basically complaining that I was being lazy and useless since I gave birth and that it was my "job" so I needed to suck it up and do it. I didn't let him know that I had overheard, but I was upset. Later on we were in the bedroom and the baby was losing his mind and I was having trouble getting him to latch and I was in so much pain and I just started crying and saying I wanted my mom. He snapped at me that my mom had filled my head with feminist garbage my whole life and that was why I was weak and couldn't handle something women had been doing for thousands of years. I was kind of floored. I'd never heard him say anything like that before. I told him he needed to leave and go sleep elsewhere because I was really hurt.

When he went to work the next morning I decided to call my mom and to see what the hell he has been doing on the internet, because I felt like that was the logical step to take.

I was not that surprised to find that he'd been on men's rights type websites (if you agree with that fine whatever) and was using them to express his frustration that although he'd thought he'd found an ideal young partner who would have babies and turn into an ideal housewife (which was so weird to read because I feel like I'm the furthest thing from some housewife type and I'm not shy about that, I guess my mom has been filling my head with feminist garbage my whole life after all 😂. When we first met it seemed like we had lots of shared interests and ideas and he enjoyed my independence), but that pregnancy had made me gross and useless and then giving birth made me even worse, saying the only good thing about me was that I had a boy my first go.

I was pretty surprised however to learn that the original conversation he and my mom had was about his attitude toward me but had nothing to do with him being abusive and she never threatened to take the baby, she just suggested to him that if he really loved me he would support me and be there for me. He told HER she'd never speak to me again and that she'd never meet her grandchild. She forwarded me the conversations.

Notes:

Source

Worth reading the comments section posted in the link.

 Also, this article is a pretty good synopsis.

[imadethisaccountforaheadcannon]

Don't you dare try to ""Inform" me how good and nice these characters are

These are in order of the realisation of me hating and loving privilaged happy villians cause they are so common in realife

SCP 999 the toxic positivity mind control blob said to be purely good but ignoring how ableistic it is to wipe away all the ""bad" how that leads to people not caring when others are suffering like how that blob endorses and enables the foundation cult. Keeps them thinking are the heroes that die for humanity while they torture and enslave everyone humanity included with a almost 1800s mentality of same good different bad and this bloody bitch is a VIP expected saviour that even in top secret meetings in an organisation like that.

I hope my Canon of that toxic bitch being the eyes and ears of the scarlet king ends up more popular and 682 gets to be seen as the torture victim they are and get the therapy they need.

Charlie from Hazbin hotel I dwelled on her less cause she littrally only has a pilot but I actually think she is a bad ruler. This bitches solution to the realms overpopulation issues is to conform her population and send them to the same people sending a yearly invasion force wow no wonder her future citizens never respect her.

If you want to do good in hell then do good in hell your next in line you have the power to do it actually do legit improvements make hell have culture be its own thing. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up having the elitist fatal flaw from a story perspective they can use her to screw over IMP without screwing over IMP with her various Elon Musk like schemes that don't actually help her society whatsoever.

And of note

for fucks sake yearly exterminations constitute declaring war get a fucking army and use it your current plan is probably gonna end with heaven having a new slave class.

And last and current From the Sun and Moon show that Sunnyofabitch I can't get over the fact he had the nerve to blame moon when he was the one that kept him shoved his own brother down into his own mind for years and constantly blame everything on him. I might have let that past go attribute that to him being designed like that if he didn't spent every freaking movement that moon couldn't do giving moon his self hate issues.

If it even occurred to his narcissistic ass to stop thinking himself as the victim and actually try to help the one he literally in control over in every aspect physically,emotionally,socially but no he didn't he choose to reinforce moons truama because of that I don't even care about moons violence or even a grimm understanding of it being a allround shit situation. Moon got like that cause he had no choice in his actions sun did and had them nerve to scream about ""Its your fault,,. and go on a tirade about him ""Not being able to do anything,,.

Then Moon finally opened up after most of his literal existance and I had to read between the fricken lines as the saying goes telling sun ""Stop being a child,, was a backhanded fricken compliment he fricken told us of his truama in a backhanded compliment to sun the one who gave him that truama how messed up is that.

Sun's not a child he's not a uwu precious he was made to be moons leash holder and he had enough interpersonal skills to make moon apologise so many times after finally standing up for himself and then he was made to feel guilty about it and forgetting he even had a point as well Meanwhile sun just let himself being the ""good one" like usual.

And honestly I'm actually want him to have a reality check like the police threatening to seize and possibly decommission moon if sun doesen't get him under control and shutting him up with legit legal documents telling him that he's actually designed to be responsible and actually has some ownership rights over moon.

Which would promptly freak him the fuck out but it would be worth it.

Tues 14th March 2023 sun doesn't just have Mary sue traits he is a Mary sue now.

Oh yeah just remembered one of the older ones Jack kline from supernatural strangely I didn't immediately put it together until someone pointed it out I don't remember who I don't feel like remembering shit àbout his entitled ass accept apparently using the fact he warped around heaven to suit the humans despite it being the only place for angels and Naomi being ultra ticked about that.

And to be honest It's unlikely that these guys would actually get there downfall cause others like happy people succeeding regardless of how bad there actions are fuck toxic positivity.

Actually I only thought is this yesterday and this was added recently but I think I'm mad at the infantilization as well like if someone has sun's anxiety for example suddenly people are unwilling to see them as anything but a pure and if anyone dare give them conquence for their actions the fandom would start hating it hurts these characters in the Long run I see Charlie and sun being able to improve from tough love and I suspect alot of characters would fall under the same category.

[chronocidalrage]

Family

I think I take it for granted how much I’ve changed. That probably really is confusing for my family, to their credit.

I’m the challenging one. I think I’m upset with my mom because she hasn’t grown with me. She’s still thirty-year-old Alex’s mom.

Mom really wants to leave us money because it’s how she gives us “love” after she’s gone. It’s her way of feeling like she provides beyond her time here. I guess I get it. Stability and financial support is probably what she wanted most when she was young.

I think I was happiest with my family. When we were all together. So many of my memories are just of being together. I was happy when I obliviously enjoyed my family. But whenever I’d see the cracks I’d feel like they’re complete strangers.

I think she was a better mom for when I was young. As I got older, she had more and more trouble figuring out how to parent me.

I think I really was happy with my family. And being at school and stuff was annoying because I was away from my family (and was made fun of at school). I was unhappy when I wasn’t with my family. Then they all kinda changed and stopped being the reliable safe space they always were and I lost my shit.

I really loved my family. I felt so good when I was with them.

Tonight I can kinda feel like I know Atom is gone. Insane.

OCTOBER 2ND I’m fucking sick. Not Covid. It sucks though. Hopefully I feel better tomorrow.

OTHER PEOPLE We forget that other people are just other versions of us. Copies of the same thing with most of the same emotions.

SCOTT I just thought of my brother Scott and felt how much I love him. How much I’ve always looked up to him. How impressed I’ve always been by him.

I can’t believe we have Ruby. She used to be something that felt so over my head and now she’s such an integral part of my life that I can’t picture life without her. Good things can be real, and they can be worth so many bad things.

TWITTER May be my overall largest source of emotional connection. Uh oh. That’s not good in general, but especially not in reference to recent news. Fuck you Elon.

MOVIES I really would love to make a movie, it just that it sounds so fucking challenging.

DEATH Should I write my own SUGGESTED obituary? Why not? 

Alex, husband of the Dorchester-born super-babe Susie Donahue (whom he loved so much he could never seem to believe she actually chose him), brother of Scott Harris (whom Alex hopes got as much out of being brothers as he did), uncle to his nephews Xavier and Maxim (whom Alex hopes he made a positive impact on the lives of), best friend to Tim and Matt, both of whom made a lot of hard times worth fighting through. Alex loved movies, comics and music, and odds are, he made way less of of those things during his lifetime than he wishes. Wherever he is now, he hopes it’s the same place his brother Atom and his dog Ruby went to.

STILL SICK I started feeling sick Tuesday night. Now it’s Friday night and I feel mostly okay, so it was two bad days for the most part. Susie is finally sick now, after me trying to avoid her for a few days. I’m hoping it’s quick for her.

I managed to make a connection on Twitter who gave me the chance to see a hard-to-see movie and I got to see watch it on my 41st birthday (11/5/22). It was cool and it felt weirdly perfect. Even though I was still sick and other shit sucked.

LATE NIGHT RAMBLINGS Crazy to think I’ve been friends with Liz Whelan and Chris Olivo for ten years. I keep thinking of them as Susie’s friends.

I’m always looking for the next “big moment” so I can often miss the big moments in front of me. Whoops.

Maybe the gift of the connection I had with Atom will allow me to love myself like he loved me? Maybe I could somehow feel that? That would be amazing if I could. Fingers crossed.

It’s crazy to think all those memories I have of Atom, they were all the same person (the Atom I had bunk beds with, the Atom I had an apartment with, the Atom I saw that last time when we bumped into each other at the house). I should just be grateful we were on this planet at the same time for 40 years. What a gift, honestly.

He deserved to have someone heartbroken about him potentially dying. I’m glad I gave him that at least.

The desire to create is the belief that the things that would make you happy don’t exist yet. Oops.

I don’t want to find new things to enjoy, why can’t I use the ones I already have? Like, why should I find more friends or create new family members? Just let me enjoy the ones I already put the effort into.

For me, I think happiness is NOT feeling that longing I feel effectively every single second of every day. 

Am I kind of upset about my mom not being in that house anymore? Is that part of why this all upsets me so much and why I feel weird about blocking off the door?

I’m overprotective of Susie and Ruby and our little apartment because I think this is all I really have.

The Interpol song “Evil” makes me think of going to shows with Susie. I should tell people what they mean to me while I can.

I really am having trouble enjoying the now, plus, I keep doubting my future, and the combo of the two makes me not like who I am currently. My displeasure with my reality makes me upset with myself so I give up on trying many days.

I keep trying to recreate good things I had instead of finding new ones.

I think to me, love is people choosing me. I rarely felt chosen.

I feel weird tonight. I miss my childhood, and I’m grateful for Susie and Ruby, but I want more. I want more happiness and more good moments and I’m terrified to open myself up to them. But I want them. I want to stay in the theater, watching Jack Slater and trying to find the golden ticket, but I need to move on.

Because that’s the other point of the movie, you need both to have the magic. Movies make your life more magical because (like any good art) they help you put your life in context, and your belief in them makes movies magical. It’s the combination of the two.

So I guess just focus on the real magic. Making magic yourself instead of just enjoying it. Making magic is harder, but more effective.

Live. Do things you wanna do. Make things. Love people. See places. Enjoy your body. Live. Get more tattoos.

I miss my family. Everything felt so good and secure when I was young. I miss that. And it kinda fell apart but I made it even better in some ways during my late twenties and early thirties, and then I just lost it more and more ever since. And I’m always sad about that. And I’m always too scared to open myself up to new things.

GOOD VS EVIL There’s always a generational interpretation of good vs. evil. Cowboys vs Native Americans. Until that seemed wrong. Then Cops and Robbers, but it was over prohibition and it highlighted how silly bureaucracy can be. Then Action Cops and Action Robbers, until the concept of cops as good guys and criminals as bad guys seemed inaccurate and naïve. Now it’s superheroes, because we’re way more likely to trust heroes that work outside of the established power structures. Even Action Cops typically went against authority.

[mrpenguinpants]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

I love modern au. Or any “everything is fine, no one died, it’s just a fever dream” au. Half of me is thinking, damn maybe I should answer this serious- LOL HAHA no. That’s not happening. Time to crack my knuckles and let my brainworms take over again.

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. I want to switch up my characters from the last brainworm post but I included Kaeya and Diluc.

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Today’s appreciation post goes to twistedwishes. Hey! I’ve been seeing you pop up a lot lately and thanks for the support 💕💕 I hope things are going better for you and you’re doing alright^^ I feel kinda bad for making appreciation posts on crack fics but hopefully this is somewhat funny haha. 

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Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: Roommate [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

  @mikeysbike @hanniejji@unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @dandelily @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife  @dokidokisama @simpygrimoire @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki​

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Diluc

Absolute pretty boy who has braincells, but only if Kaeya is not there. In his mind, Kaeya’s presence makes his room loose 40% of their common sense. He can’t prove it just yet but he’s working on it. He majors in accounting but also has a minor in marketing, logistics’ management, fia- he majors everything business related. He’s going to become the next Elon Musk through smarts or by getting the competition drunk. There can be no contest if he’s the only candidate. He’s actually a hard working guy that overworks and stresses way too much. You have daily “Diluc recharge” evenings where he just hangs onto you while you go through your day.

“Don’t fucking talk to me until I’ve had my coffee,” except there is no coffee - he drinks grape juice out of juice boxes and his only energy boost is when he meets up with you - and that’s his constant mood. So he usually only hangs around you and Jean, since she has childhood friend status and is actually an angel. By default, Lisa is added and Diluc doesn’t mind her but if he see’s Kaeya, it’s full on war paint mode. If he's not busy with work or studies, he's usually with you either in your dorm or his apartment.

He has a fanclub and he seriously hates it and tries to do everything in his power to get Ningguang to take it down. Shouldn’t this be against his rights? But she refuses for whatever reason and makes a whole speech about free will. No matter what he does, someone manages to take a picture and it get’s printed in the university’s newspaper. The only bonding time he has with Kaeya is every Monday, where they collect and burn all the universities newspapers before anyone can get their hands on it. You always bring marshmallows to make smores during their arson activities.

“When I graduate I’m going to burn this school down to the ground. That’s not a threat it’s a promise.”

Ningguang

Is secretly the leader of the Diluc fanclub - not that she likes Diluc, she’s in a questionable platonic poly marriage with you and Beidou - but it was the easiest way to gain funds for the student council. Which she is the president of, so rip Diluc the fanclub stays. Ruthless business woman I tell you. But she can run in heels so her danger factor rises by at least 20%.

Majors in social sciences and law but more specifically the political science & government. She saw the Imperial State Crown that the Queen of England wears and says yes, that’s mine now. If she’s not with Beidou and you planning on “how to infiltrate the state government just for lols”, then she’s with Keqing, Ganyu, and Zhongli discussing student council things. Should they or should they not tell the student body that they can see everyone’s search results? Sit back and relax as the school goes into chaos. 

She’s probably the scariest person on campus No, she is the scariest person on campus. She’s the scariest person on campus. But secretly she’s popping 20 aspirins just to make it through a night. She has the digestive system of steel. She still holds the title of "seriously do not try and beat her in a drinking game it's never going to happen" and that's her proudest achievement in life but sadly she can’t put it on her resume. Kaeya is still trying to beat her out of spite but so far it hasn't been working. You’re seriously concerned for her when she get’s challenged but Beidou gives you a way-to-hard slap on the back and cheers her on. If Ninngguang somehow get’s alcohol poisonings she’ll somehow find away to make a profit out of it.

"I'll let him die, I'll get the insurance money."

Kaeya

One day he chugged too much mouth wash, passed out, and somehow woke up in university majoring in law. His idea is that if he is apart of the law, he can therefore stand above it. To be fair, his only goal in life is to say “I am the manager” and he can go live the rest of his life in bliss or as a hermit. He’s secret best friends with you but wouldn't be caught dead beside you. He will stab a bitch if you ever get hurt but will still trip you on the way home. Seriously, you have no idea why people find him attractive. Your guess is it’s the eye patch or the clap of his ass cheeks that keeps alerting everyone.  

He’s apart of the newspaper club and if anyone asks: No, he has no idea who keeps taking all the newspapers and burns them in the back of the campus. Originally, he joined because he was nosy and needed to join some type of club for his resume. He sometimes feels bad for his junior assistant Amber because he keeps tricking her and says that Diluc is secretly a demon that is trying to steal all the jobs and is apart of the lizard government hell bent on eradicating the human race. He even brought out a whiteboard for this joke, he’s dedicated to his job ok? 

The type of guy to try and be humble and say his work is “okay” but will choke a bitch if anyone agrees. He tends to leave everything last minute and says that it’s his drug since actual drugs could land you one year in prison and a maximum penalty of $2,000. You have to awkwardly hold in your concerned mother head shake when you see him speed running his assignment literally right when the professor is walking around to check if students finished. 

“I was taught how to lead not to read.”

Mona

Broke wallet #2. Zhongli is broke wallet #1 but Childe simps for him so is he really a broke wallet at this point? In this essay, I Mona Megistus, will explain why I have the rights to the title “Broke Wallet #1″...

Believes that astrology should be an actual career path but refuses to take astronomy as her major. I can read the stars not a textbook that tells me how to calculate the mass of the sun divided by the fucks I give. Instead she went into Philosophy and cries to Albedo, who is an actual prodigy genius- sir lend some braincells to everyone else please?, that her professor keep turning her paper down because “star reading” is not an academic source.

Fischl wants her to join the occult club because, surprisingly, Mona is very good at telling people’s fates through her crayon sketch ouija board. She thinks first year Fischl is cute but is put off by the cosplay roleplay that she has going on. She would join except that stupid hat wearing gremlin in her lit class would make fun of her if he found out.

You gave her half your lunch one day and bought her a doughnut "because she seemed upset" and "out of the goodness of your heart" whatever the hell that means. She thinks you pensioned it but once that thought comes she takes a bite. Poison from a doughnut is not the worst way to go out, classes are hard enough. She’s waiting for the lord to strike her down anyways. 

“Its not about passing, its about doing better than everyone else.”

Venti

Slept through most of highschool and people question how he got into university. He’s a music major (wow how fucking original is that), and if anyone asks him to serenade someone or just do anything, he’ll do it for the right price. Or if you buy him alcohol because he still keeps getting ID checked. He’s banking on Kaeya actually becoming a lawyer or being on good terms with Diluc so he can finally stop being arrested for looking like a toddler.

Takes one step into classes and quickly nopes out and goes back to bed. Professors have no idea how he hasn't dropped out or failed. He just has some god given talent. He does whine at you to pretty pretty please with a cherry on top tutor him because you're such an angel and would never leave your poor but awesome best friend hanging right? He needs to get this essay down but how he is suppose to explain how the number 10 is symbolic and connects to the universe or the meaning of life. Do you think he can just say it’s apart of his culture and make up some random myth to pretend it looks like he knows what he’s doing? 

He’s honestly going with the flow and put his brain on the back burner all of highschool and only now realizes wait, I actually have to use my brain?

He’s been banned from most club chats since Venti has the no chill card. Someone says “lol I look ugly today.” and he’ll respond "yup, you look like a cow." and he get’s banned. Zhongli keeps a speed run timer on his phone just to document these occasions.

"Sad spelled backwards is das and das how it be sometimes."

Childe

An actual dumbass that somehow does well. He eats sandwiches with the crust off, this heathen. Surprisingly he’s studying to become a physical therapist but most of his experience has come from breaking his own bones. You’re scared how he's going to be if he actually becomes a therapist. If he'll make bets with his patients or try to one up whatever crazy injury they get into. Everything is a challenge to him that sometimes the best way to deal with Childe is to knock him out. 

This man really knows the way to a Zhongli’s woman's heart. Through micro transactions. Mona saw him accidently drop $20 and just shrugged and walked off. She has never been both spiritually and physically offended in her life. She did take the $20 though. As much as you hate leeching on Chile when he’s basically a walking wallet that probably uses bills as tissue paper, you can’t help but give him puppy eyes while planning on how to get into his will. If he even plans on having one, he might honestly write “whoever wins in a gladiator style duel in my funeral’s tournament, they will get my fortune.”. 

Any sport the university offers Childe is probably in it. Which is how he met Zhongli, challenged him to a fight, proceeded to have his ass handed to him, got a backhanded compliment, and screamed to you he was in love and how he found his soulmate. He's secretly very sappy and has cried and watched every Disney and Pixar movie at least 28 times.

"IM NOT TOO SPICY! I’M A TINY BIT ABOVE MILD IF ANYTHING!”

---

God if it isn’t Scaramouche, it’s Childe that ruins the aesthetic. This is why I hate you. Why do you people enable me like this, it isn’t even good. This is pretty much a @ yourself moment and I vibe hard with Venti. This entire post was just to make a joke about the clap of Kaeya’s ass cheeks alerting the guards.

This week might slow down since I have classes and assignments. My reply’s are gonna be late too, sorry;; (oh and thank you to everyone that was so supportive and nice when I mentioned it. All of you. Beautiful 💕💕 )

[supremedinosaur]

Uncut Gems // Chapter 4: Regret In My Name

WandaNat x g!n reader

Warnings: cursing

Summary: 20 years after their first born goes missing, a young detective takes a special interest in their case. All these years later, will they finally get the answers they need?

Word count: 1943

ch.1 / ch.2 / ch.3

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Marnie called Y/N’s assistant in the hopes of being able to speak to the executive, but he informed her that they were at lunch. After some empty threats, the detective was able to get the address and made her way to them.

When she walked into the restaurant, she asked the hostess to lead her to them. She was finally able to spot them talking to a strawberry blonde, at the table by the window.

“C’mon Pepper but going into space would be nice. Imagine Elon’s face when we land on Mars before him,” Y/N insisted with a fork still in their hand.

“Y/N, we’re not going to Mars. You’re really no better than Tony,” she sighed taking a sip of her white wine.

“But- detective, are there some new developments in the case?” They grinned shifting gears when Marnie came into sight.

“Yes, actually. Do you mind if we talk in private?” She countered.

Before Y/N could even answer, Pepper got a phone call, and she apologized for having to leave early. The detective took this as an opportunity to sit in her place.

“Do you want a drink or something? It’s on me,” they offered.

“No. I’m on duty, thank you. You’re more than welcome to though,” she declined with a smile.

“No, I don’t drink anymore. Eight years sober,” they faltered and cleared their throat. “What was it you wanted to talk about?”

“In the police records, you never mentioned being on the phone during the incident, but I have eyewitness account that you were in a heated discussion at the time. Is this true?” Marnie revealed without even a stutter in her voice.

Y/N let out a sigh clearly, they weren’t shocked that this question was brought to the table. In every recollection of the incident, even the one they gave to Marnie during dinner, they withheld this information for a reason that isn’t even all that logical.

They licked their lips and thought for a moment before they answered.

“On that day… the girls and I were having a rough time in our relationship. It was entirely my fault, and I knew that. I wasn’t spending enough time with my family, but I had just gotten a major breakthrough at my company. The weeks leading up to that day, I had been spending long hours at the office, leaving early and coming home late. They started to accuse me of cheating…” Tears welled up in their eyes and they clenched their jaw at the memory.

Marnie looked at them sadly at this unexpected expression of vulnerability. Although, she had not known them long, she knew what it was like to push herself into her work at the cost of the people you care about.

Y/N sniffled but pulled themselves together enough to continue on.

“So, I promised them I’d take the family to the new fair that had just opened up, but something happened at headquarters and our entire system was down. Everyone was calling me in a panic, and I wasn’t going to pick up any of their calls, but the one time I did… I lost my little girl.” A tear escaped Y/N’s face as they stared out the window, not really wanting to face the shame of guilt.

“Why did you hide that? Surely, they would have understood and forgiven you,” Marnie asked tilting her head trying to bring them back to the conversation.

“Of course, they did. I told them after years of therapy, but I was so ashamed of it, it took me years to come clean about it,” They replied finally making eye contact. There was an emptiness in their stare, so close yet so far away.

“The information could have been helpful- “

“I’m gonna stop you right there, kid. I know you’ve seen the files. That piece of shit detective couldn’t even give any less of a damn about us. Besides, I know it was fucking Ten Rings behind this anyways,” they scoffed.

Marnie nodded in defeat, and she took a sigh, taking in all of this information.

“Was it easy? Lying to them everyday?”

“That’s a stupid question,” they answered, and they both laughed at that. “It got so bad that I was on mandatory sabbatical, and I nearly drank myself to death. We ended up going to couples counseling and AA, so I could finally realize that I wanted to live. It was the longest and hardest part of my life.”

“For what it’s worth… I’ve witnessed how much they love you. It seems like it only made your relationship stronger,” she admitted honestly.

Marnie was somewhat envious the missing child. She didn’t know her, but she had always wished her parents were different. On the good days with her mom, she would spend hours playing with her and being any normal kid. On the bad days, which were most days, the girl would spend her time hiding under her bed as her mother had her episodes in the house. It wasn’t until her father got home, that it stopped and turned into violent arguments. She never told a single soul about this. She would rather forget that it was real and stitch together a better fake one.

“Truthfully, I wish my parents were like you guys. Loving each other so openly and bravely, that’s special,” she confessed feeling the emotions surfacing but not quite able to be released.

“They didn’t deserve you,” Y/N stated, their eyes filled with sincerity.

“I know.”

—-

About two weeks later, Marnie finally gets an appointment to meet with the CEO of Ten Rings Industries. The local headquarters was one of the largest buildings in the city. It was one of those buildings that gave you a heavy dark feel towards it, which was fitting since there were many rumors of the company having ties to a darker organization.

Walking into the lobby, the interior noticeably had modernized Asian influence that was balanced with lighter colors to combat the feel of the exterior. It was very quiet for such a well-known company and there were very few people in the lobby as well.

“Good afternoon. Detective Sullivan, I have an appointment with Mr. Wenwu,” Marnie said showing her badge to the woman at the receptionist desk.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Wenwu has retired, but I can send you up to see the new CEO, his daughter, Xialing,” she apologized with a polite smile.

“Is there any way I can get into contact with Mr. Wenwu? It’s rather pertinent to the case,” the detective persisted.

“No, I’m sorry, there is not. Mr.Wenwu is not in the country, at the moment.”

“And he won’t be back anytime soon?”

“No,” the receptionist replies, clearly getting irritated at the woman’s persistence.

“I’ll meet with Ms. Wenwu, then.”

“Great,” the receptionist says shortly with a huff. After a phone call and a few clicks of her keyboard, the receptionist gets up and escorts Marnie up the stairs.

Although Marnie did not have a fear of heights, something about going up more than twenty floors didn’t sit right with her stomach. It didn’t help that the air in the elevator was awkward because of the receptionist prior frustrations.

The elevator finally came to a stop at the twenty-fifth floor and the woman quickly led her out the elevator. The woman gently opened the door and peeked her head in before ushering the detective with her.

Once Marnie saw the woman in power, she noticed she had a daunting aura to her. Her posture was perfect, as well as her hair and makeup pleasing and pristine to the human eye. Xialing’s appearance was enough to make anyone question whether they wanted to be her or be with her.

“Ms. Wenwu, I have detective Sullivan here to see you,” she said shortly and giving a polite bow before leaving.

“Hello detective, please sit. Would you like a drink?” Xialing offered as she stood from her seat and walked towards her bar area.

Marnie declined politely and went to take a seat. She watched as the CEO pour herself a drink, afraid she might get caught staring, instead she finds interest in the paperweights along the desk.

“So, detective, I hear you’re asking to see my father? …Why?” Xialing inquired mischievously as she sauntered over to the detective, drink in hand.

“I believe he may have some information that could be pertinent to my case,” Marnie stated keeping her face neutral.

“Well, as you were informed, my father has retired back home to China,” she informed lifting her thigh over the corner of her desk to lean on it for support.

Xialing made a show of her power in the room, sipping on her glass of whiskey and seductively licking her lips, all the while staring Marnie down with her dark brown eyes.

“On June 15th, 2002, the child of your competitor gets abducted and coincidentally a widespread trojan horse crashes their server, at the exact same time. Doesn’t seem suspicious to you?” Marnie challenges with her head held high.

“It’s just as you say detective, ‘a coincidence,’” the CEO smirks.

Marnie sucks her teeth in response, but she didn’t want her frustration to get the best of her, not with a woman that is clearly just taunting her. The detective stands up, towering her height over the sitting woman.

“Look, I don’t know you, but I do what it’s like to follow in your father’s footsteps. Always trying to prove yourself worthy of him, when he doesn’t even give you so much as a pat on the back. The good thing about finally being able to surpass him, is not having to end up the same cursed path. So please, I just want to give this girl her family back because they’re the perfect family, even if we weren’t lucky enough to get one,” she pleaded searching Xialing’s eyes for any sign of empathy.

The black-haired woman sighed and pinched her nose. Without a word she walked back to her desk and began searching through her files. After a minute of searching, she finally pulls out a file and places it on her desk. Although she made no move to open it but instead placed her hands on top of it and looked back up to the detective. Her eyes bore into the other woman’s soul with her perfectly shaped eyebrow arched.

“I’ll give you what you want in one condition,” she presented mischievously.

The detective had no idea what this woman’s motives were, but something told her to entertain whatever she had to say. Maybe it was genuine curiosity or maybe it was the mouse being lured into the cat’s trap.

“What?”

“I’ll give you this file, that contains everything you need to know about what happened to that child, after… You meet me at the Masego’s on Saturday at 7.” She proposed with an evil smirk growing on her face.

“Why would I agree, if I can just get a judge to sign a warrant and have this place wiped?” Marnie challenged with her arms crossed not wanting to admit defeat.

“The time it takes you to get a warrant is more than enough time for my company and I, to pack up and leave.” Xialing stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

At this point, Marnie had no other choice but to agree. Xialing had basically admitted to the fact that her company was involved with the missing girl. Her job was on the line, and she didn’t want to risk the chances of this nice family getting the answers they need.

“I’ll be there.”

Chapter 5

[honey-dewey]

A Challenging Affair

Pairing: Shane ‘Dio’ Morrissey/Reader

Word Count: 1,976

Warnings: None! This is 100% fluff

Permanent Taglist: @phoenixhalliwell @star-wars-hell

Shane wasn’t exactly the most up to date on current internet trends and challenges, but when you introduce him to a very interesting clothing challenge, it seems he can’t say no. Could today finally be the day New York City sees the Goth King wear some color? 

“Babe!” You said, falling onto the bed beside Shane. “Babe, look at this!” 

Shane rolled over from where he’d been working on his laptop and looked at your phone. “The fuck is that?” 

“It’s a TikTok challenge,” you explained. “Aren’t you on TikTok?” 

“Maybe?” Shane said, confused. “I don’t even know anymore.” 

You groaned. “You’re such an old man!” You said. “Shane Morrissey, the goth king of New York City, and he can’t operate his own damn phone.” 

Shane elbowed you, causing you to squeal with laughter and roll away from him. “Watch yourself,” he warned you with a smile. “Or I’ll feed you to the dogs.” He rolled on top of you and blew a raspberry into your exposed belly, causing you to kick him, laughing uncontrollably. 

“Shane!” You screamed, flailing. “Quit!” 

“Aww,” Shane said, sliding off you and pouting. “But tormenting you is such fun.” 

You gave his shoulder a small shove, reaching for your phone. “But did you see the challenge?” 

The mattress creaked as Shane flopped down next to you. “No.” 

You held your phone out. “It’s a couples challenge. The two people go to a thrift store or something and buy an outfit for their significant other, then they wear those outfits on a date. It looks cute.” 

“Is this a coincidence?” Shane asked, raising his eyebrows. “Or do you know we’re doing date night tonight.” 

“It might be a coincidence,” you said, nudging up against Shane. “But since you said we have date night tonight, why don’t we try it!” 

Shane made a very unimpressed face at you, but shrugged. “Okay. I don’t care. But I get to pick the store.” 

You held your hand out to shake. “Deal!” 

In the end, Shane picked a place you and him both knew very well. The owners were good friends of yours and they were all excited to help you with the challenge when you explained it to them. 

“Alright,” Elon, one of the owners, said. “Here are your bags.” They handed you and Shane each a solid black bag so the other couldn’t peek. “You have each other’s clothing sizes. Go forth and conquer!” 

Immediately, you and Shane split up. You headed towards the sweaters and he headed for the shoes. Humming along to the music, you went through the soft shirts, ruling most of them out because they had too much of a pattern. You had quite the opportunity to put Shane in the most colorful shit you could find, but you weren’t that mean. Instead, you tried to find a balance between color and Shane. 

Finally, your digging around rewarded you with a perfect sweater in Shane’s size. It was a faded grey blue with small black stars, and you knew just by looking at it that it would work well on Shane. Putting it in your bag, you left to go ask your boyfriend a question. 

“No peeking,” Shane said warningly as you approached him. You smiled, looping your arm through his and leaning in to kiss his cheek. 

“I’m not peeking,” you said. “Just wanted to ask you a question.” 

Shane continued to look at shoes, although you could plainly see the outline of a pair in his bag. “Fire away.” 

“Do I have to get you pants?” 

Shane froze for a second, trying to comprehend what you’d just said. “As opposed to getting me what?” 

You shuffled your feet a tiny bit. “A skirt?” 

“Oh.” Shane loosened, shrugging. “Yeah. Go ahead. I don’t care. I’ve told you plenty of times that gender is just a construct meant to control the masses.” 

You giggled. “Don’t go all Dio on me,” you said. “I know you’re a giant dork under all that leather.” 

Shane scrunched his face up, coughing you to laugh. “Mhm,” he hummed. “Now go away. I’m shopping.” 

Giving Shane one last kiss, you walked away to find the right skirt for your sweater. 

It wasn’t hard. You knew what would look good on him, and you found his size in a soft black overall skirt almost immediately. The skirt flared pretty well, and upon further examination, you found that it was a circle skirt. Tossing it and a pair of sheer black tights in your bag, you only had one more thing to find. Shoes. 

On your way to the shoes, you got distracted. You’d intended to let Shane wear his regular jewelry, but passing the small display, you backtracked and grabbed a small ring with a beautiful Aries constellation on it.

You bumped into Shane, almost literally, as you rounded a corner. He smiled at you, gently guiding you around him so you two didn’t collide. “Watch it,” he said. “Wouldn’t want you hurting the pretty face of yours.” 

Blushing, you scowled at Shane, sticking your tongue out at him as you walked away. He mimicked the gesture, showing off his rarely seen tongue piercing. 

Shoes weren’t hard. Shane cycled through three different pairs of platform boots and two pairs of solid black Doc Martens, so you decided to let Shane continue with his current pair of shoes, which were one of the Doc pairs. You almost put a pair of hot pink crocs in the bag, just to screw with Shane, but you had told yourself you’d be kind, and hot pink crocs didn’t seem very kind, even if it was hilarious. 

“I’m done,” you said cheerfully, walking over to where Shane was looking at shirts. “You?” 

“I’ve been done,” Shane said. “Here.” He held out the bag for you. You exchanged it for your bag for him, swapping. “Ready?” 

You nodded eagerly. “Yep! Let’s go!” 

Elon’s girlfriend, Lucy, got you both set up in changing rooms, smiling at you knowingly. “Oh honey,” she said to you. “Dio got damn lucky with his pick.” 

Suddenly nervous, you began to get changed. 

The outfit wasn’t bad. In fact, you liked it. A cute pair of mom jeans with embroidered flowers around the folded ankles and the pockets, a white jersey knit shirt that you tucked loosely into the pants, a pair of white socks, and a pair of yellow buttercup earrings made up the outfit, but you couldn’t find the shoes. 

“Shane?” You said, confused. “Where are the shoes?” 

“There aren’t any in my bag either,” Shane said over the gap in the wall. 

“You’re supposed to wear your Docs,” you said. “Should I wear my sneakers?” 

“No,” Shane said. “I have your shoes. I wanted to see your face when I gave them to you.” 

You pouted, leaving the dressing room and making a face at Lucy, who had her lips pressed together in barely contained amusement. 

Shane stepped out of his dressing room, and your pour melted away. “You look so good!” You said eagerly. 

Truthfully, Shane did look really good. The sweater was a tiny bit big, but that added to the aesthetic. The skirt was just the right length, and you couldn’t wait to run your hands across his thighs in public and give him a taste of his own teasing medicine. He shuffled in his shoes, shrugging. 

“It’s too much color,” he said finally, and you rolled your eyes playfully. 

“It’s one faded blue sweater,” you pointed out. “Be glad I didn’t pick the neon rainbow tie dye shirt.” 

Shane fake gagged, causing you and Lucy to laugh. 

“Okay,” Shane said, holding out a shoe box. “Sit.” 

You sat down on a stool, closing your eyes at Shane’s request and putting your feet in his lap when he sat on the floor. You could feel him sliding each shoe onto your feet, and you tried to guess what they were. 

“Are they platforms?” Shane adjusted the laces on the left shoe. 

“No.” Shane pulled the laces on the left shoe tight. 

“Docs?” Shane was adjusting the right shoe laces now. 

“Yes.” Shane pulled on the right laces. You could feel your foot move as he tied them. 

“Can I open my eyes?” You were super eager to see the shoes. 

You felt Shane shuffle back, so your feet were no longer in his lap. “Yes.” 

You opened your eyes, immediately gasping. The shoes were hideous and you adored them. You’d been trying to find a pair of these Docs in your size for years, but they had stopped making them a decade ago. “Are these the Pascal Darcys?” 

Shane was smiling. “Those are the god awful Pascal Darcy Docs you desperately wanted,” he confirmed. “Lucy said Elon found a pair a few days ago, and when she told me they were in your size, I knew I had to get them for you.” 

You all but launched yourself into Shane’s arms. “You absolute bastard!” You said happily, hugging him tight. “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” Shane said, holding you almost as tight as you were holding him. “Now c’mon, I believe we have a date tonight.” 

Reluctantly, you took everything off and paid for it, carrying the bags home  and trying to resist the urge to pull your new boots out and break them in with a trip around the block. 

When you got home, you and Shane changed, and Shane wiped his heavy makeup away for something lighter and simpler. 

“Can I do your makeup?” You asked, standing in the bathroom with Shane. “I picked your outfit, so it makes sense.” 

Shane looked at you with his eyebrows raised. “No sabotage?” 

You gasped. “You think too little of me!” You said, picking up Shane’s liquid eyeliner pen. “I would never.” You quickly kissed Shane’s nose. “I promise,” you added softly. “No sabotage.” 

Shane sat still as you did his makeup, not going overboard because you didn’t want to. Instead, you kept it simple with a small amount of eyeliner and a bit of extra blush across his cheeks and nose. 

“I think I should return the favor,” Shane said, standing once you were finished. “Gimme the brush.” 

“I’m already perfect,” you shot back, but handed him the brush anyway. 

You ended up with the same treatment as Shane. Some eyeliner and blush was all he decided you needed before he was telling you to go put your shoes on. You didn’t need to be told twice, racing off to go put your new boots on. 

“Do you still love them?” Shane asked, putting his arm around you as you walked out of the building. 

“Do you still think they’re ugly?” You asked back, smiling. 

Shane sighed, smiling. “They’re really not my thing,” he said. “But I’m glad you love them.” 

You grinned, kicking your foot as best you could while walking. “I love them,” you said. 

Your date ended up being an early dinner at a local cafe and then you and Shane wandering around a tiny used bookstore for almost an hour. You didn’t buy anything, you just enjoyed the book smell and the calming atmosphere, losing yourself among the stacks of old books. The owner was a witch, and you found Shane talking to her about tarot cards. You pressed yourself to Shane’s side, yawning and snuggling closer to his sweater. 

Shane instinctively put an arm around you, holding you to him. You smiled. “Can we go home?” You asked softly. “I’m tired.” 

“Of course,” Shane said, kissing your head. “I’ll see you tomorrow Beth.” 

Beth waved as you two went, walking silently home. 

When you fell into bed, in your pyjamas and half asleep already, you were surprised to see Shane follow you, still wearing his sweater. The skirt and tights had been exchanged for sweatpants, and his shoes were discarded somewhere in the bathroom. 

“Did you have fun?” Shane asked, snuggling close to you.

You nodded, sleepily humming. “Yeah. Thank you for indulging me today.” 

Shane smiled, pulling the blankets up to cover the both of you. “For you, my dove, anything.”

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 9

As promised, two chapters in one day! HBD to this trash rabbit. I just get thirstier with age.

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV. DRUG USE IN THIS CHAPTER. Just generally an uncomfortable vibe, thread carefully.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: Ooh, boy. This is a whole mess. Angst. [insert drugs owl meme]. Steve doesn't pass the vibe check yet again, stupid old man. Bruce + Tony be like: I CAN'T GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF Y'ALL.

My beta, whomst I love more than cake - @miscmarvelwritings . She's so beautiful though. And so smart. Wow.

The strobe lights pulsated to the rhythm of the music, bodies swaying, gyrating to the tune. The club was banging this time of night, people were living it up like there was no tomorrow. For me, in the VIP zone it was quieter, calmer, but no less exciting. The atmosphere here was distinctly different from the one on the main floor.

It was hard to wallow in misery even if it only took me an hour to stop resisting the gratuitous amounts of white powder on the silver platters. "It's better when you're there to watch them, they'll do it anyway but at least you can know that they're getting the good stuff!" My idiot father proudly announced, looking at me snorting a line through a rolled up hundred dollar bill.

Whiskey and vodka wasn't doing it for me. It made me feel low and Dad, being Dad, of course noticed it and immediately called a guy who knew a guy and suddenly all of his friends and their baby-faced companions had white under their noses. Cash flew like autumn leaves.

As I went out to the main dance floor to get a closer look at Billie Eilish in all of her edgy, beautiful self, the drug hit me like an avalanche. No trace of the grogginess or the mortification that had hitched a ride on me from Stark tower. I danced and sang and saw dad smiling at me in approval, his equally high and important friends all wearing identically predatory smirks. They were good at spotting the obvious - beauty, talent, money. I had no qualms about the fact that dad was off bragging about my close relationship with Tony. If my father was feeling particularly bold, he'd be telling them he knew and encouraged it all along, his buddies pretending to believe the white lie in turn.

I had exchanged my pants and sneakers in favour of a skirt and fishnets with high heels combo, a decidedly inappropriate attire for a daughter having a family night with her father but he insisted I dress trendy. I loved my dad, I really did, and I knew he meant well - I'd definitely be out of place amongst these TVscreen worthy people in my jeans and sneakers but...Tony was one of those people, and he had never ever said anything bad about the way I dress. Even when I obviously and purposely put on obscene clothing just to get a rise out of someone.Tony just smiled and played along.

Tony Stark was the heartless asshole here? Really, press? Really, haters?

"Standing there, killing time, can't commit to anything but a crime..." I sang along quietly as I hurried back to the VIP area. My dad was standing up and so were a couple of his buddies. "Where's ya goin'?" I asked, taking a seat.

"Be right back baby girl, if you find better company then go on without us," Dad winked, throwing a totally nasty glance at one of the girls. She was not much older than me but her body was stick thin and bolt-ons and Botox were her two best friends. She gave me a dirty look and I returned it, extending a waiting hand towards my dad. He chuckled, depositing a neatly rolled stack of hundreds into my palm.

"Dad, I want a new purse," I whined, just a tad. Just to see the girl's eyes go wide with acrid envy. Dutifully, another couple of stacks landed in my palm without any objections and the company retreated towards the back door.

I sighed.

Fiddled with the straw of my drink a bit, contemplating my options. I could always ditch this party and go somewhere more active, somewhere with better music and kinder people.

"Ay, baby girl, you wanna party with us?" A tall, handsome man from dad's previous company approached me. "We'll have some fun." He maintained a respectful distance but the intentions were clear.

"Nope," I popped the sound, not even sparing him a glance. A few lines of cocaine stared at me from the table beckoning with a better high, a stronger sense of euphoria, confidence and energy to dance, to sing, to be happy. I picked up one of the discarded banknotes, quickly rolling it by a sheer force of habit and cleaning up the tray. One line.

"Holy shit, is that..."

Two lines.

"The fuck?!" I recognised that voice. I have been hearing it every day in the labs, I've been hearing it in my dreams.

Tony was gaping at me, in front of me.

"Hey, Tony. Fancy seeing you here." Any other time, I'd be cringing at my lame greeting but I was feeling way too good to care about trivial things like being clever or being appropriate.

"I was looking...for you," He slowly said, putting a single finger on the tray with the last line of coke and pulling it out of my reach.

"That's funny," I snorted, hastily wiping at my nose to cover the tracks of my very bad, very immoral, very illegal activities.

"It's not, Princess, it's not funny at all," He frowned. "C'mon, we're leaving." And extended his hand. I decided to follow along - there was nothing for me to do at this club anyway, the music was lame and the people were stuck-up.

"I look like a prostitute, Tony, I'll take the back door," I attempted to pull him towards the aforementioned but he didn't budge, just stared straight ahead and towed me along like he was wearing one of his iron suits under the stylish jeans and tee get-up.

He stopped in front of the exit, giving me a critical once over. Wiped my face, again, brushed my hair back. Gave me his shades - I dutifully put them on, figuring the manic look in my eyes was anything but attractive right now. "Jesus Christ, Princess," He sounded desperate. "You're beautiful, don't you fucking worry."

And we made our exit, arm in arm, me trying not to stumble in my high heels, Tony being my rock, my solid foundation. In other words, I was hanging onto him for dear life trying not to fall over and give a reason for a sneaking paparazzi to make a scandalous headline.

"You're doing great, Princess," Tony helped me into his Tesla, slamming the door behind me and hurrying towards the driver's door. I managed to unclasp and kick off my shoes, curling up comfortably into the passenger's seat.

I watched the man as he started the engine and watched him wrestle with whatever personal demons that tormented him as he peeled off and raced into the Friday night city.

"What in the everlasting fuck..." He started, stopping abruptly mid-sentence. "How did you even get in there?"

"I came with dad. He literally ditched me to fuck some whore, like, twenty minutes before you showed up." I shrugged, eyeing the modified panel of the car. It was very obviously Tony's own design. I wondered if he could introduce me to Elon Musk someday.

"What the fuck? And correct me if I didn't hear you clearly," Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. "Your father took it upon himself to drag you to a club, get you drunk, gave you cocaine and fucked off with some groupies?"

"Yah, that's about it. My dad is all about cocaine and whores, the more the better," I replied, leaning in to take a closer look at the car's panel. "Hey, could, like, introduce me to Elon Musk someday? That would be fuckin' awesome."

Tony went eerily quiet, I saw his knuckles on the steering wheel go white. Vague expletives were muttered under his breath. "I'm guessing you're good on sleep?" He finally asked through gritted teeth.

"Sleep? Don't know her," I laughed. "I wanna dance, Tony."

"Of course you do, Princess." His smile was tired and forced and full of pity. "You know, I don't think I'll be able to sleep now, either," He admitted, taking a sharp left. "How about we get some McDonald's and camp out in my lab?"

"Sure, whatever," Not like I had much choice in the matter. What I really craved was a good, long, hard fuck (by Tony himself preferably) but if science calls... I have no choice but to comply. "Get me two Big Macs," I demanded least he try to joke and get me a Happy Meal or some shit.

He did get me the food without any usual grumbling. I didn't like this Tony. Tired Tony, sad Tony, angry Tony. Wrong Tony.

"Huh?" He said and I realized I'd said the last part out loud.

"I don't like a sad Tony,” I said. "It's the wrong kind. Sassy, snarky and perpetually caffeinated Tony is the best Tony. The only proper kind, in fact." I stated with seriousness, shoes dangling from one hand and my McDonald's in the other. Man, I have been seeing more and more of this god-damned elevator recently.

"You're high as a kite, darling," He chuckled then, a real laugh.

"Who's high?" Bruce's voice came from the kitchen.

In a state of blind panic, I jumped behind Tony. "Not me."

Tony palmed his face.

Steve came over from the fridge, leaving the rummaging to Bucky. He took one look at me and suddenly I felt small, insignificant like an ant. I didn't like it much. "Holy hell, the fuck happened? Tony, explain." The Captain demanded, giving me the world's biggest stink eye.

"It's her piece of shit of a father, dragged her off to some night club and left her hanging with his buddies, fucking off god knows where. It's not her fault so lay the fuck off, Rogers, with your self-righteousness," Tony exploded all over Steve, the pent up frustration rearing it's ugly head.

I mustered enough courage to tiptoe around the dick measuring contest to sit at the counter. My appetite was gone and my burgers were turning colder and soggier with every passing second. Just like my life.

"Hey, Princess," Bruce's gentle voice halted my train of thought. He approached me carefully, ignoring the men behind me in favour of simply wrapping me up in a quiet, comfortable hug. "You feel alright? Want some water?"

"Nu-uh," I mumbled, unwilling to part ways with the warmth of this embrace.

"... Steve, I found her snorting miles of coke all by herself while an some jackass was waiting for her to be even more out of it. It's rare that I say this but I had literally zero words." Tony punctuated his words by tapping his fist against the wall multiple times.

Bruce tightened his hold on me, a sudden influx of strength accompanied by a quiet, low growl in his throat.

I felt the sudden need to clarify the situation. "Tony, chill. It takes me a lot more to be out of it, I'm fucking coherent and I'm talking sensibly. It's not my first rodeo."

Apparently I'd gone and said the wrong thing because all the men in the room were suddenly growling. I even totally forgot about Bucky who had the uncanny ability to exist in a room without making absolutely any sort of noise.

"The fuck do you even mean by that, Princess?" Tony screeched, probably already knowing that answer.

"From one rich kid to another, you should damn well fuckin' know," I spat, unwilling to admit my misery.

He sighed, audibly deflating behind me. I refused to listen to him, refused to be humiliated and exposed like that for my perfectly human desire to be happy. To not be a disappointment, to not be disappointed in everything and everyone. Bruce was nice and kind and warm and selfless but even he couldn't love me the way I wanted to be loved. Cherished, taken care of. All that mushy stuff. I was selfish, so I snuggled in closer to him, muting the world around me, replacing it with the smell and feel of him.

Cocaine made it a whole lot easier to imagine. Maybe that's why it was so addictive.

"Guys, calm down, you're stressing everyone out," Bruce rumbled quietly. I loved the way his deep voice seemed to reverb throughout his chest.

"Get me a cup of coffee, would you, Buckaroo?" Tony sighed again. I heard the sound of him slurping at his coffee. I heard Bucky's metal arm clunk against something equally metallic before the supersoldiers bid everyone good night and walked off.

Only then I removed my face from Bruce enough to take a good look at Tony. He was eyeing me, too.

"We have a caffeinated Tony," I said, softly. "Now we just need some science to have a happy Tony."

He smiled but it came out watery. He wanted to say something but choked on his words. "C'mere," He finally said, turning in his chair and opening his arms.

I unashamedly made grabby hands, the universal gesture for ‘I want, gimme’, and Bruce delightfully deposited me into Tony's waiting arms. It was like my birthday and Christmas came out all at once. Tony's embrace was warm, like Bruce's, but tinted with an unexpected familiarity. He smelled like motor oil and fancy cologne. It was heavenly.

"You keeping tabs on me, huh? Coffee, science and sass? That's your recipe for happiness?" The engineer asked me, a seriousness that didn't match the joking tone of the conversation at all.

"I think I got you figured out. Peter, too, is important for happiness. But in controlled amounts," I said, giving it a careful thought.

Tony chuckled, sounding a little bit shocked. "What about you?" He said after a brief moment of silence passed, interrupted only by Bruce's tea kettle coming to a slow boil.

"I don't think you need me for happiness," I said, meaning it. "But let's be honest, I'm a nice addition."

He stilled under me, briefly. Bruce cleared his throat.

"Brucie needs me, I think. He's lonely," I told Tony with a sudden influx of desire to be completely honest and 100% transparent. "And it makes me happy, because I need Bruce too. He's the best," I finished.

"Is that so?" Tony sounded vaguely tearful so I attempted to pull back to take a good look at his face. He didn't let me though, gently but firmly pressing my face back into his chest. "And me?"

"I do need you, Tones," I admitted without spilling any unnecessary details.

There was a child within me, small and scared and lonely, like Bruce. I hated her, hated being so soft and needy when everybody else obviously (and understandably) was busy with figuring out their own lives. I wished, desperately so, to just boom-boom-whoosh her away like Doctor Strange magicked away unwanted visitors.

Tony said nothing but his hands betrayed him. They shook and they held onto the skimpy see-through fabric of my top like he was a drowning man and I was his only floatie. For the moment, I closed my eyes and let myself believe he needed me, too.

"I'll catch a wink or two, wake me up if you need something," Bruce broke the silence, having finished off his tea. I didn't notice the time pass so quickly, too lost somewhere between here and there and Tony. In short, I was being lovesick all over the billionaire.

"Bwucie," I leaned backwards, pushing until Tony caved and let me rest my back against the counter, elbows on top of it, legs dangling freely on the sides of his legs. It put a lot of me on display. Tony had called me beautiful earlier so none of my usual habits of being appropriate around the man concerned me. He thought I was pretty!

"Princess," Banner came over to wrap me in a hug that was quite awkward, considering the fact I was sitting on Tony. It took some maneuvering to get it right.

"Night night," I said the usual and got a brief kiss on the cheek before Bruce shuffled off, yawning.

Tony was watching us with an unreadable expression. As soon as I turned my head to look at his face instead, something in him changed. His eyes grew big and round, the crease between his eyebrows disappeared. The corners of his mouth tilted up.

On a sudden impulse, I reached over to run my palm gently over the neatly trimmed line of his beard, following from his chin to his jawline, to his soft tousled hair. His eyelashes shook, fluttered, as the engineer leaned into my touch with the grace of a cat. "Kiss him, kiss him" my brain chanted. I knew I was a coward, I wouldn't do that. "Pretty," I said instead, the word coming out in a whisper.

He gulped, audibly. "Princess, you have no idea..." Shaking his head, as if he was surrounded by a swarm of mosquitoes, Tony briefly looked away. "You have no idea what you're doing."

"Nope," I agreed solemnly. "But at least it feels good. It feels right."

"God," He frowned, one of his hands coming to nervously card through his hair. "Nothing about this is right."

My face fell. Just like I thought, Tony wanted exactly nothing to do with a clueless little teenager. It stung and tears pooled in the corners of my eyes where I stubbornly refused to let them escape and make me into a crybaby. "Whatever you say, Tony." I was ready to agree with anything he said, really, if he would just keet holding me like that.

"Don't," He raised a palm. "Don't close yourself off like that."

Now I was genuinely confused. What exactly did he expect from me? I shrugged.

"You're clever, brilliant and beautiful, you can and should do so much better than all of this," He vaguely gestured towards me, towards himself, towards us and the whole damn city.

I contemplated my answer, briefly. "A lot of people tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing. Don't I get a say?" The bitterness had fought its way out and won. "I just want to be happy for a bit. All the usual bullshit."

He looked taken aback, really. Like he hadn't even considered the option. Typical.

Meanwhile, I continued my word vomit. "I want someone to give a damn about what I want and what makes me happier. Until then, I have no other choice but to take care of myself the best way I know how. Like everybody else does," The weight of his arm landed on my waist, pulling me close to his chest yet again. I didn't resist. No fight left in me. The tiredness seeped deep in my bones, chilly.

The sudden change of altitude startled me. The engineer had picked me up and started walking off towards the elevator, directing it to the lab. His personal lab. The tiles felt cold under my feet where he put me down to make his own beeline for the bar. I would've joined if not the drug in my system - the last thing I wanted was to land in a hospital yet again.

I took the moment to browse my social media, untag myself from all the unflattering pictures, post my usual shitpost. A tiny skirt, equally tiny top and fishnets - I felt out of place in his lab although I've worn more outrageous things previously. I was raw, torn open, bleeding my misery all over the room. That was not in my plan, but then again, when did ever life go as you planned it?

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[elonscult]

The Awakening - Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Sabrina woke up with the feeling of a freight train running through her head followed by a burning sensation coming in waves from her left cheekbone. The memories of the night before started flooding her mind making her headache intensify even more, a frown now on her face.

She stayed still for a couple of minutes, hearing the quiet breathing of Elon sleeping next to her. He had placed one of his legs between her thighs and was hugging her from the waist with one arm.

The sensation of his body close to her made her feel a little bit better but not quite.

Sabrina moved slowly out of bed trying to not wake him up, she looked up to his face and appreciated the sight of him sleeping so peacefully, he had a calm expression that almost looked childish. Aware of her surroundings, she felt thankful for being in his house. She didn’t allow herself to think about what happened, the whole thing felt foreign to her, almost like a blur or a scene in a movie that leaves you with a bad feeling after you watch it.

Without wanting to pay attention to the way she was feeling, Sabrina walked towards the bathroom in Elon’s room where she found a bag with some of her clothes. She took a quick shower and once she was done, she walked into the bedroom again finding Elon still sleeping.

Sabrina tried her hardest to keep him out of her mind, but it was impossible. She loved him, and that was the truth. Although, she hated that he had that kind of power over her life, it made her feel vulnerable and exposed. She thought about the wedding, the way he had made her feel so humiliated and the way he didn’t answer the phone when she needed him most.

A muffled buzz coming from the bathroom interrupted her subconscious thoughts, she followed the sound later discovering that it came from the bag of clothes she saw earlier. She rummaged through the contents until she found her phone.

She frowned as soon as she saw the endless missed calls from her father. Not exactly sure of what she should do next, she hurried downstairs and grabbed the keys of one of Elon’s cars.

  The familiar house now standing in front of Sabrina made a whirlwind of emotions form in her chest. Unsure if she felt safer than threatened, she stepped down of the car and walked towards the entrance. She had walked this same path probably a million times and somehow it still felt foreign.

“Dad?” she called as she opened the door. The immense mansion now showing itself in all its splendor.

“Sabrina?” a strong voice responded from the kitchen. “Is that you?”

The usual assurance and confidence with which she walked did not seem to be present as she moved towards the known voice.

“Well, I don’t think you have any other children” she said now walking into the kitchen catching her father sitting in front of a glass table next to a large window that expanded almost all the way from the ceiling to the floor. His presence always seemed to fill the entire room, making it hard for the both of them to be there at the same time. He was a well-founded man, old school. Tenacious and firm, those were the qualities that had made him reach an overflowing number of goals.  Yet, it wasn’t the nature you would exactly want from a parent.

He looked away from the book he held in his hands to look at Sabrina with a stern look that quickly turned into concern.

“Look at that, almost half of your face is bruised!” he said, looking at the hurt face of his daughter.

A warm set of arms surrounded Sabrina; she hugged his father back inhaling the scent of the tall man.

“Don’t worry” she said breaking away the hug.

He grabbed her chin to hold her face in place while he looked at the dark wound on her left cheekbone.

“Dad” she said pushing away his hand and sitting down next to his place at the table.

He sighed looking irritated, then he sat next to her.

“I called you a million times last night and today, can’t you at least pick up the phone” he said.

“Yeah sorry”

“You almost gave your mother a heart attack, she is worried sick” he said displeased “And you weren’t even home when we came by”

Sabrina felt for her father, she understood where his concern was coming from and she hesitated to bring up the fact that she was at Elon’s house.

“I wasn’t there” she limited to say.

“Clearly you have other priorities” he said, his tone with no particular difference.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she asked annoyed. “Elon was there and I didn’t want to stay home by myself”

“Well, if you had called us, we would have been there too! I can’t believe you wouldn’t even call us during an emergency” he almost yelled.

“Fair” she said. “I just didn’t want you to get involved, the press was there and it was a whole thing”

“I don’t like this, you know?” he moved in his seat uncomfortable. “This guy, he puts you on the spotlight and it opens the door to this kind of things happening”

“This guy has a name, and he didn’t put me in the spotlight any more than you did”

“It’s not his fault” she continued.

“Don’t talk back to me” he said firmly looking at the black-haired woman sitting next to him.

He thought of all the sacrifices he had made for his daughter and about the life he had planned for her. She was perfect, engineered, as so many rich parents had arranged in this weird future, to be perfect. And he hated the idea of some guy, such as Elon, just coming in and ruining it.

“At least he had the decency to call me, that I give to him” he said.

Sabrina raised her hand to massage the bridge of her nose, clearly annoyed at the information his father had just told her.

“Stupid” she thought to herself.

“Whatever, dad” she finally said.

“My legal team is already working on never letting that creep get out of jail” he said naturally, almost as if it was the most obvious thing.

“Thanks” she said moving to give her father a kiss on the cheek. “I do appreciate it”

“Right” he shook his head smiling.

“I’d love to wait for mom but I have to go” Sabrina said. “Don’t be so angry all the time, you’re old and you’ll get a heart attack, then I’ll have no father.” She smiled.

“Funny. I want you home tomorrow for dinner” he said.

“Maybe” she answered.

“Sabrina” he said with a stern look.

“Relax, we’ll be here”  

“Just you” he said.

“Both” she said now walking towards the door.

  Sabrina thought of a million things to say to Elon while she drove through the city, her heart was beating fast, her hands were white from gripping the wheel so hard and she felt angry, an anger that she had trouble controlling, she had that bad habit of being explosive and Elon had always told her that she acted like a little child throwing tantrums. But this wasn’t a tantrum, she didn’t want him to involve himself with her parents.

When she finally arrived at his house she tried to calm down, she wasn’t really in the mood to have another fight cause then she would have to go back to her place. She thought about staying with Alec and then she remembered him being angry at her the night before.

“What a fucking mess” she thought.

She found Elon in his office; her mood shifted as soon as she looked at his face. His blue-ish eyes going rapidly through some file on his computer, the dim light of the monitor highlighted the soft freckles on his face and she wished to count every single one of them. She wished to kiss him in that exact moment.

Sabrina leaned against the door frame crossing her arms, not really sure of what to say.

“There you are” Elon said, smiling. “I’ve been wondering where you were” his steady gaze now all over her.

“I, uh” she hesitated. “I was at my parent’s place”

He frowned unconsciously, sensing the tension building between them.

She simply looked at him.

“I’m not gonna apologize for calling your dad” he finally said. He sighed and leaned back in his chair.

She nodded with a blank expression.

“Are you going to say something?” Elon asked.

“You already know how I feel about it” she said.

“I know, but they’re your parents” he answered.

“Yeah exactly, that’s the thing” Sabrina said, now starting to get annoyed.

“Don’t start something” he said.

“I’m not starting anything. You just don’t understand” Sabrina said, looking hurt.

“The only thing I know is that if my kids were in that situation, I would’ve wanted to know about it” Elon said softly. “They care about you, your parents, I know that”

Sabrina thought about his kids, the way they were almost the exact copy of him. The way he acted when he was around them, it warmed her heart. She wondered if she would ever be a mother, thought about her own strange relationship with her parents, she had always thought she wasn’t good enough for that kind of life.

“Don’t be angry” he said standing up and walking her way. “Please”

“Please” he repeated.

He came close to her and cupped her face with his hands. Sabrina couldn’t move. She limited herself to let him guide her head until she could look into his penetrating eyes, those eyes that surely could read her soul. They hypnotized her like the ones from a predator calming his prey.

Sabrina shivered underneath his embrace.

And then, his hot and exigent lips covered hers. She moaned in response. She had heard all her life abut kisses that made knees weaken and Elon was the only one that had that effect on her.

She thought that man smelled stupendously, that it was a pleasure to touch him and, also, that he tasted so much better.  

On her own initiative, her arms surrounded his broad strong shoulders. The heath from his chest introduced into her body, inciting her with the erotic promise of their bodies collapsing together. Every inch of his magnificent body was intimately close to her, caressing her with the intention of waking up all of her feminine instincts. His presence stimulated her like no other man had ever done before. She slid her hands through his back muscles and sighed when she felt them move beneath her hand.

Elon felt like his head was spinning with the warm touch of Sabrina, with the sensation of her arms surrounding him while his own hands traveled her soft precious skin.  Oh, how much he liked the mumbling sounds with which she responded.

“Alright” she finally said, giving him a faint smile. Their bodies still close.

  The day continued normally, Elon decided to work from home, not wanting to leave Sabrina alone after what happened. He knew her, he knew how affected she was by it, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. He walked from his office to the living room where she was laying down watching TV. Her soft hands placing an ice pack on her face. Elon felt a weird sting cross his chest thinking about how much it probably hurt. The thought of someone punching her made him feel sick.

“Hey love” he said softly, sitting next to her. He placed his hand right over hers and pushed away the ice pack, somehow the bruise on her cheekbone looked worse than before, now a combination of purple, green and black that made her hazel eyes look more yellow. He frowned.

“We should probably get this checked out” he continued.

“No, I’m okay” she said reassuring him. How much he wished she really were.

“Are you done with work?” she asked.

“Yeah, sort of” he smiled. “Are you hungry?”

“Uhm yeah, I actually wanted to go pick some stuff up from my house” she placed the ice pack on the coffee table in front of them and incorporated to be sitting instead of laying on the couch. “Would you please go with me?” she said.

“Of course, honey” he said, unsure if it was a good idea. “I could also send someone”

“No, I wanna go” Sabrina added.

  As they arrived at her house, memories of the night before started to come to Sabrina. She moved uncomfortable in her seat, letting go of Elon’s reassuring hand.

With growing anxiety, she stepped into her house and climbed up the stairs towards her room. Elon followed her and watched as she stood rigid and distant. Her face was pale. He could kill the guy that had done this to her. No one should go through that much fear, especially in their own home.

When they reached her room, she stood still for a minute looking back at him. Her stomach revolving. The mattress was down of the bed frame, the sheets were torn apart, every single drawer open and their contents scattered. Elon placed his hands on her shoulders to comfort her. Sabrina felt violated as she walked into her closet and found everything on the floor. Tears started to form on her eyes.

Elon held her close to him, wrapping her in a hug and she didn’t let go, she was holding onto him so strongly that he was having trouble breathing, and she was crying like as if her heart was breaking to pieces. She hated that her home no longer felt safe.

“You don’t ever have to come back here” he said stroking her hair. “Move in with me”

“No, it’s not that easy” she said still sobbing.

“Yeah, it is that easy” he answered.

She separated to look at him.

“No, it’s not” she repeated. “God, are we even together?” she said whipping the tears from her face and taking a few steps back.

Elon ran his hands through his hair in exasperation.

“Sabrina” he began to say.

“This is my home, I can’t just leave” she said. “Specially if I’m not sure of where we’re at”

He sighed. He loved her, and he wished that was enough. But he knew things weren’t that simple, he wanted them to be, but they weren’t.

“We’re here, together, what are you not sure about?” he said.

She shook her head, distressed.

“Sabrina, do you not love me?” he asked, almost too scared.

She hesitated, breaking eye contact with him and looking anywhere else.

“It’s not about that” she finally said.

“Well, do you?” he asked again.

“You know I do”

He let out a deep breath, as if a huge weight had been lifted off of him.

“Then let’s love each other” Elon said. “Let’s start there”

Sabrina’s mind was spinning, she loved this house, it was her own little world, she wasn’t ready to let it go, possibly cause it meant letting go of her independency.

“I’ll take you to dinner, somewhere nice, just the two of us” he said, holding both of her hands and rubbing them with his thumbs.

“I’m not really in the mood to go out right now” she said truthfully.

“I know, baby. Trust me, it will help clear your head”

She looked at him almost with a frown on her face, he hated seeing her sad. It made him feel powerless.

  Sabrina hopped into the black Roadster, flashing an adorable grin that made the corners of her eyes scrunch up. Elon nearly took her right back up to his house when he saw her cute little outfit. She wore a strapless, 10 inches above the knee, black, brown, gold and white turtle shell-pattern-like dress. Her long tanned legs embellished with a pair of black tie-up heels that reached the middle of her calves. The long locks of black hair fell in waves on her back all the way down to her waist.

“Are you trying to kill me?” his tone was playful.

Her smile lessened for a minute, head titled, worried she had done something wrong, maybe wore the wrong thing.  

“I have half a mind to take you right back upstairs” he leaned into her neck, his nose sliding up underneath her ear, his warm breath sending shivers up her spine.

“And fuck you into oblivion.” He whispered.

She smiled. He reached over her shoulder and gripped the seatbelt, wrapping it over her, buckling her safely to the seat.

When they arrived at the restaurant, they were seated rapidly even thought they didn’t have a previous reservation, Elon’s status would let him in without hesitation. He placed a hand on her lower back guiding her as they followed the attendant and then he pulled the chair to let her sit before sitting himself in front of Sabrina.

Elon quickly ordered for the two of them, not giving Sabrina even a chance to look at the menu.

“I hope you don’t mind, honey. I know what’s good here.” He spoke.

She smiled back at him and shifted in her seat, peeking around the expensive room, feeling overwhelmed. He reached across the table to grab her hand, reassuring her.

“Thank you” she said looking at him before frowning for a short second, almost unnoticeably, looking for the next words she wanted to say. “I appreciate that you’re trying to make me feel better” she continued.

He looked at the hand he was grabbing, her fingers cautiously resting on his own. He rubbed them in a loving way, then, he looked at her.

“I’m sorry, for everything that happened that day. I really am” Elon said.

She gave him a comforting smile. The bruise on her face now covered with makeup, barely visible.

Elon felt so guilty. He shouldn’t have let her go, they could have arrived home together and everything could have been avoided. Or at least he could’ve protected her. He wished he had protected her.

“Just an unfortunate series of events, it’s not your fault” she said, reading the regretful look on his face. “Don’t blame yourself for this” she leaned forward, emphasizing her words, he still holding her hand. He sighed.

“I want to be with you, only you. There’s no one else for me” Elon said.

Sabrina looked away for a second.

“I want to be with you too” she said. “I just-.”

Ivory porcelain dishes were placed down on the dark stained wood table, interrupting their conversation. The food -that looked more like an art piece than food- was plated so creatively. Sabrina almost felt guilty that she was about to eat it. She wasted no time and took a bite of the alluring decorated dish, a wave of flavor swiftly traveling through her mouth.

“You were right. This is incredible” she said, grinning from ear to ear.  

“I know” he said smiling and later taking a bite of his plate too. Then looking at her encouraging her to continue the previous conversation.

“I need to be sure you’re done with Camille, I don’t like feeling unsure of us. We have already done that, remember? That’s why we broke up back then.” Sabrina said, her melodic voice echoing through his ears.

“I don’t want you to feel that way, to be unsure of my love” he sincerely said. “Things with her are complicated. I so- wish that they weren’t.” He ran a hand through his scruffy dark hair.

“She doesn’t want to sign the divorce papers. She wants to go to court. More money. Mess with me. At this point, I’m not sure” he let out.

She looked at him, a strange sentiment growing in her chest. She tried to imagine how much it must hurt to be treated like this by someone you once loved. She hated the idea of him being still legally married to that woman.

“I’m sorry you’re going through this” Sabrina said, looking at him lovingly. Wanting to take away all of his worries.

He took a hard look at the woman sitting in front of him, his love. Wondering if she could ever be capable of doing the horrible things Camille had done to him. Sabrina was everything his ex-wife wasn’t, intelligent, capable, caring. And she so rarely made him feel unsure of her love.

“I love you, E.” she said, desiring to find stronger words to express the adoration she had for Elon.

She stood up and leaned forward to place a quick kiss on his lips. Her familiar taste made Elon’s heart skip a beat.

“I love you too” he said. As he had so many times before.

She sat back down and they enjoyed the rest of their dinner. After, Elon took her for a walk in the area. The busy Los Angeles Street unusually empty. Their arms laced together as they moved forward.

Elon kept a tight grip on her as he walked them inside a store. The room smelled like luxury. White walls led up to the high ceiling. Marble tiled floors spread wide, holding bright displays.

“What are we doing here?” Sabrina whispered.

“I told you I wanted to make you feel better” he whispered leaning into her ear.

Although she desperately wanted to argue him on it, she stayed quiet. He smiled, pleased at her obedience.

Fabric clothing covered the walls, expensive jewelry sparkled under the lights.

“Like anything you see, baby?” he said.

She bit her lip, not really sure.

“You don’t need to spoil me like this” she said. Growing up in a well-off family had made Sabrina quickly associate love and affection with expensive things, being as her parents would often show it to her that way. Now that she was older, she longed for genuine connections.

“I feel bad about this kind of stuff. I don’t want you to think this is why I like you” she continued.

He laughed at the irony of her statement. He knew she was capable of affording anything she wanted herself.

“I don’t care if you feel bad. I want you to be dripping in my wealth. Let me.” He spoke slow. Making her heart beat faster.

She smiled almost excited.

“Fine” she said.

The assistant set up a dressing room for them, adding a few pieces in along with the ones she and Elon had picked out. The dressing room was wide, mirrors covering the entirety of the walls, a bone-colored sofa attached to one of them.

They spent the next half hour in there, Sabrina would change into each piece and show it off to Elon. He sat on the couch, filling the room with his masculine presence. He unfortunately was on a work phone call, despite his efforts to get rid of them earlier in the day. Each time she would parade around, he felt his pants growing tighter.

“Babe” she said. Elon’s eyes looking up to hers, still talking into the phone. “Can I have some help with this zipper?” she asked.

“I’ll call you in a moment” he hung up, shoving his phone into his pocket.

Sabrina was wearing a satin red dress, she stood facing the mirror, lifting up her long curls to expose her bare back and zipper. He couldn’t take his eyes off her body. His hands reached down and pulled the zipper up slowly, encasing her body in the expensive fabric.

“Thank you.” She said brushing down the sides of the dress, placing it correctly. “What do you think?” she asked looking at Elon through the reflection.

His long hands slid up over her ass, up her sides, resting on her breasts to rest on them, slightly grasping them.  “I’m about to rip this to shreds and have my way with you.” He said.

Sabrina let out a big laugh. “Shut up. Seriously, what do you think?”

A smile spread across his face as his hands fell on her hips. He slowly pushed up the dress, exposing her black underwear. He then shoved his hand into the front of them, his thick fingers finding the center of her body. He stroked over it in slow circles, watching her face in the reflection of the mirror. His other hand finding its way back up to her chest, grabbing a handful.

Feeling her breathing slow down and her body pressing closer to him, he dug deeper between her legs, shoving two fingers inside of her. She moaned at the feeling.

“You have to be quiet, doll.” He whispered in a deep voice.

His fingers pushed further into her, finding their place pressed against her most sensitive spot. She leaned back into him. He felt her contract around his fingers.

Pulling his fingers from her, he turned her around to face him. Grabbing the neckline of the thin fabric, he ripped the dress in half.

“Elon” she said surprised. He quickly silenced her and turned her around again.

“Be good and cum for me” he said.

“Mhm” she whined, breathing out. She felt his hardness through his pants, hard as possible, pressed against her. She rubbed back onto it, drawing out a growl from him.

“I said be good” Elon said pushing his fingers deeply, making her reach that magnificent release.

He kept his grip tight over her to held her up while she wiggled up against him. She stared at him through the mirror, the sight of him helping her along and intensifying her climax.

He slowly released his tight hold on her, leaning her on the wall. He lifted his hand to his mouth and licked each finger and his palm, enjoying the taste he was getting. Her taste.

“Did that answer the question about the dress?” he asked.

She laughed, pulling the shreds of fabric off her shoulders.

They grabbed everything and took it to the front of the store to the register. The cashier gladly ringing everything up, pleased by the amount of money they were spending. At the end of the transaction Elon dropped the remaining of the dress into the counter, staring at the woman behind it. Sabrina’s face turned red.

Without saying a word, she rang up the shreds of the dress. Swiping the black card. Elon smiled back at his lover.

————————---------------

It’s been literally so long lmao but anyways hope you like it, I will try to upload the next one on Monday, thank youuuu sooooo much for your sweet messages🤍

I don’t know if you still want to be tagged, let me know:)  🤍  @ourloveisforthelovely

[ourimpavidheroine]

You've given us your favorite records, so how about your favorite movies?

Okay, sure! Under a cut though, because it’s long.

In no particular order!

Strictly Ballroom (1992)

Oh my god, one of the funniest movies ever made. Every single thing about this movie makes me laugh out loud - in fact, I laughed so loud in the theater when I saw it the first time I’m surprised they didn’t kick my ass out. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched and re-watched it. My late wife and I used to quote this film back and forth to each other all the time. 

“Arms, Clary!”

“That was unexpected.”

“I’ve got my happy face on today!”

There’s a lovely little romance going on and a quote that I live by:

A life lived in fear is a life half lived.

Thank you, Baz Luhrmann. 

Bringing Up Baby (1938)

Screwball comedy romance with Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn. Still funny, over 80 years later. Mistaken identities, a harrassed archeologist and a clueless rich girl, so on and so forth. If you watch it, you will see shades of Wu and Sayuri in Susan, for sure. (And some Zu in David.) The comedic timing of this movie is sheer and utter perfection. Not a single beat wasted. Brilliant, the entire thing.

Moonstruck (1987)

God, what isn’t there to love about this movie? CHER. A woman coming up on middle age who has settled into widowhood without a whimper decides to marry a man she’s fond of for no other reason than she thinks she should meets the fiance’s younger brother and her entire life goes, as her Italian Catholic mother says in the middle of church, “...down the toilet.” This movie was handled with so much love and care, it deserved its Oscars. If you’ve never seen it, you should.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

I saw this movie the one and only time I visited the States after I moved to Finland. I had left my wife here in Finland but had my 20 month old autistic twins along and my mother was being beyond horrible to me and I was exhausted and just wanted to go home. There was one afternoon where my favorite uncle came to me, gave me his car, and told me he was going to watch the kids and for me to go out and have a breather. I decided to see a movie - I can’t remember which one - but the paper had gotten the time wrong and it had already started by the time I got there. I asked the woman selling tickets what she recommended that was coming up and she very fervently told me to go and see this one.

Still one of the best movies I have ever seen. The acting is so subtle, so beautiful, and the scenery! The ending broke me, just shattered me into a million pieces. Years later, when my wife died, I knew exactly that feeling of desperately wanting to go back in time and somehow do it all right and all I can say is, both Michelle Yeoh and Zhang Ziyi get all of my love forever for doing it the way they did.

I bought it when it finally came out on DVD with English subtitles and I made my late wife watch it with me and she sobbed at the end and told me I was cruel for making her watch it. (Guess what, babe? You were crueler for making me live it.)

The Handmaiden (2016)

Normally I am not all that keen on books being made into movies. I fucking loved Sarah Waters’ Fingersmith and wasn’t sure about it being taken out of its Victorian England setting into 1930′s Korea but oh my god I have never been happier to have been proved wrong in my life. THIS FILM. Listen, it is one of those rare times when a book and an adaptation can stand next to each other, equally as good, equally as strong, despite the differences. There is so much to unpack about women’s experiences with sex and how that compares to how men dictate those experiences to them and the movie never drops the ball with this. Frankly, I had seen Oldboy and Snowpiercer (among others) and I really did not think Park Chan-wook had it in him and shame on me for that.

Warning: this movie is HOT.

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

This is a damn good movie. Charlize Theron elevates anything she is in, and as Furiosa - dirty, grim, disabled, clinging on to tattered hope with desperation - she just takes this film to another level. Plenty of other good performances - including Tom Hardy, who’s never afraid to drop himself into a role - and some frankly astonishing editing work by Margaret Sixel as well as a male director who understands, deeply, how to film women without subjecting them to the male gaze. This is not a schlock film, despite the franchise it belongs in. It’s good.

I saw this film the night before my wife died; the last time I spoke to her on the phone I told her that I’d take her with me to see it again, I knew she’d like it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to separate this film from that loss, but that’s how it goes sometimes. Still wish you could have seen it, babe. You would have loved it.

The Great Race (1965)

Is this a great movie? Not critically speaking, although Jack Lemmon is brilliant, as he almost always is. Rather, it was a movie my father and I loved together, and I have so many good memories of watching it with him whenever it would play on TV (these were the years before VHS even, never mind Netflix) and eating popcorn and laughing together.

We loved the huge pie fight scene so much that on my 16th birthday my father bought 3 dozen store bought pies, defrosted them and/or baked them (with the help of our neighbor, who was in on the secret) and he woke me up that morning, told me to get dressed and come outside, and he got me with a pie to the face right as I walked out the door and the two of us chased each other, throwing and dodging pies, making an unholy mess, slipping and sliding all over our deck and driveway, stumbling and laughing hysterically.

It is one of the best memories in my life. How many other girls can say their fathers gave them a pie fight for their sweet sixteen? This movie makes me laugh and, more importantly, remember my father with so much love.

The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

I did love all three of these films. Were they perfect? No. (I am still salty about Faramir’s entire movie arc and the fact that Merry was just Pippin 2.0 instead of the distinct character he was in the books.) But they were made with so much love and heart by people who loved and cared deeply for the source material. And they were astonishing in scope as well. Just glorious to see in the theater.

I first read those books when my father lent me his copies when I was eight and they were a vital part of my growing up; to see Peter Jackson and his entire cast and crew love them as much as I did was genuinely special for me.

The other two films are just as good with some astonishing moments (Billy Boy’s last minute song in The Return of the King still gives me goosebumps) but this was the first one, and just remembering holding my wife’s hand as we both gasped together over the scope of it was a memory I will keep with me always.

When my wife and I went to see this one here in Finland I was pregnant with my twins and I was like, oh my god, please die already Boromir because were twins on my bladder and I knew if I didn’t get to a toilet soon it was going to be all over. (It was a long movie without a pee break for a pregnant person, let me just say.) I was never happier for a tragic end to a movie in my life, LOL.

The Matrix (1999)

Dude. Dude. Just the concept of this movie. The Wachowski sisters have never limited themselves and that’s what makes them so different and so exciting. One of the greats of Sci Fi and, as far as I am concerned, one of the greats bar none. Yeah sure, I know it isn’t a critical darling but lord, I am not a film critic, just someone who loves movies. And I love this one. 

(And excuse you, Elon and the rest of you alt-right men’s groups, you dicks, for appropriating the whole blue/red pill thing: it’s a concept from two trans sisters, so fuck right off with that.)

My best friend, who saw it with me the first time (I took my late wife to see it later in the year when she arrived in the States) laughed at the whole little kid with spoon scene. That’s like listening to you, she said. I never know what is going to come out of your mouth or whether I’ll understand it in the moment but it will eventually make sense to me. Which pretty well sums me up, I think. And this movie as well.

The Piano (1993)

There is a moment, in this gorgeous, deeply beautiful, aching film, where Harvey Keitel fingers a small hole in Holly Hunter’s stocking and it is the most erotic heterosexual thing I have ever seen. Trust a woman director to understand why women would love this. There’s Harvey Keitel’s character: older, soft around the middle, barely literate, covered with traditional facial tattoos. He’s nobody’s idea of hot. But he understands what this woman in particular needs, understands what she is telling him without words, and that’s what he gives her and it is erotic beyond measure. It’s not about what he looks like; it’s about how he understands her.

Holly Hunter does this movie without speaking a single word or getting any subtitles and short of a few brief translations by Anna Paquin playing her young daughter still manages to express herself. It’s brilliant acting. (And look, I know - today we’d look for an actress who was mute to play the role, and rightfully so. It still doesn’t take away from Hunter’s performance.)

Ada drowned in the original script but Jane Campion changed it at the last minute when filming and it was the right choice. The absolute right choice. Ada deserves her freedom and her chance to pursue her own happiness.

[nnatasha]

don't blame me for falling, iii

read the first and second part!!

pairing: tom holland x reader

summary: he comes back to town after years and years, and the press are just eating it up and you're falling too hard and too fast

an; how unnecessary long can I make this challenge. also how dumb can I make this challenge lmao why is elon musk in this chapter?? I don't know!!

the news was, at first, too far fetched to be true. 

but as the months passed and the seasons changed and frost covered the green, green grass you could no longer look at, the fact that Tom Holland Had Quit Acting sunk with a finality into the world and its people.

when you were young and sweet and when your favourite colour was blue and you were so adamant that you hated pink, you remembered how much tom liked to act, be a dramatic idiot over the tiniest of things. how, if a teacher tried to send him out of the classroom, he'd whine and groan with the essence of a shakespearian actor. how, when summer term rolled around, he auditioned for every any role he could, dancing and prancing around the drama studio in front of you and harrison at lunchtimes. how, when he was fifteen, he had left to go have a shot at a life-changing part, bagging almost everything he could until he hit the big one: spiderman homecoming came out and the entire town rallied about the little boy on the big screen.

in his interviews, the subjects were far and few, all whittling down to one thing; why? his answer made no sense to but a few, "it was a little squiggle I did when I was young."

the tattoo on your ankle, the stick and poke you had done on a slow january evening when you were fourteen, the little squiggle that looked like a three with a somewhat long tail, the tattoo that had stayed infected for weeks and weeks. it burned into your skin, even after it had long faded, even after tom had left you and his hands were nowhere near your knees, even ten years on when you watched the occasional interview, eyes yearning to look at the way he sighed and heaved like his world had fallen to pieces, wishing you could reach out and stroke the pain away with a small smile.

"why?"

"I left too much behind." he once replied.  

"do you not like it?"

"I just think that he left a lot behind." you had once replied in an interview you regretted greatly. "perhaps a bit too much, too soon."

 london was a huge city.

the tall buildings and the exotic smells and the crowded pathways were unfamiliar to you, and you couldn't leave the apartment without harrison for a good week before you braved it by yourself.

 the greys of the buildings built a small, weak wall around your soul and when you shook tom's hand for the first time in half a year, it didn't warm you from your skin to your bones to your soul and it unsettled you in a way you couldn't describe.

london was foreign, and you hated it. you regretted taking the job there and you missed your friends and the familiar roads and the familiar smells and the lack of cameras that were around whenever you were with tom.

it had been a true mistake becoming his assistant, carrying his files and not talking to him like you used to. it was your fault, simply nodding and smiling whenever he made a joke only you would get, brushing him off like you thoughts you should've for so many years.

summer in london was the worst.

tom, ceo of a tech company now, was busiest in the warm weather and you could feel your forehead start to sweat even as you sat in the comfortable air conditioning in his car.

"what happened?" tom's voice was soft and the tentativeness of it made your heart clench.

"pardon?"

"to us." 

it was an unfamiliar topic, one the two of you always purposefully swayed from.

"you're my boss now." you answered after a pause. 

and then the silence enveloped the two of you again, only being broken by harrison's loud voice when you arrived at his apartment, tonya waddling behind him, all tummy, all beams and smiles. 

"baby!" you giggled, sinking into the hug tonya gave you. she had become a close friend, letting you stay and get on your feet upon arriving in london, watching bad tv shows and movies with you late into the night.

your neck was wet to touch, the heat unbearable out in the sun. you fanned yourself with such vigor it offset tonya, who looked at your hand with such a sharpness you felt as though she'd frozen it. 

"come in, come in." her voice was like honey, thick and goopy and smooth. she led the group of four into her home and a smile appeared on your face at the appearance of harrison's hands steady a few inches away from his very pregnant wife's back. life had been good for the two of them, the horrors of the world hidden out of view like they'd been kicked underneath the sofa. god had been kind to the two of them, and it showed in the golden glow of their faces when they smiled, and the crows feet already appearing on the twenty four year old harrison, smile upon smile that crinkled his eyes and his entire face, dimples appearing like he was a scrunched up piece of paper. tonya was still tall and leggy and her hair had been coloured by the sun, a beautiful shining gold that matched the darker strips across her nose and cheekbones. 

your grey skirt was stiff and tight around your legs and you frowned at tom, who was also fidgeting with his outfit. the suit that had been shrunk by the dry cleaners was stretched painfully across his slumped shoulders and frown lines had begun to appear on his cheeks and chin, as young as he was. life had been rough for him since his abrupt job change, many long nights and many people wondering what this young boy had to say, had to do about the current advancements in the technological world. now, half a year later, his company was off on its feet, taking its first few steps into the harsh world. 

"do you want a drink?" tonya offered, hand already holding a cold can of coke. you accepted it gratefully, stiffening as you felt tom place his hand on your back. he was inches away, breath fanning onto your forehead as he read an email, eyebrows furrowed. 

a soft hum was music to your ears, despite the grumbly undertone it had. he looked up at tonya, then to harrison stood behind her, "we have to go, im so sorry."

you glared at him, and you would've glared at yourself if you could for the whiney tone you took. "we just got here." you complained, "she could have a baby by the next time we visit!"

tom's frown focused on you and your heart flinched as he snapped, "unless you want to keep your job, which, might I remind you, I gave to you with no prior interview, you're not going to complain."

"oi, mate," harrison's cool voice butted in and he placed a tanned hand on tom's shoulder. it was a familiar action, where he would tighten his hand a little much, clap the shoulder just a tad too hard, his grin stretched and hiding malice in it. it was a trick of harrison's, in the i-just-wanna-vibe bloke kind of way, clap a hand on tom's, or yours, or a drunken stranger's shoulder, stand tall, too tall, and hulk his shoulders and his neck out in a way that always made you laugh. harrison always made you laugh.

tom was quiet, you saying your goodbyes for him - 'we'll be back before this little man pops out, I promise!'- and was fiddly and stiff and loose and a nervous wreck all over in the car, tugging at his collar until it became wrinkled, his eyes a little crazed. 

"soo," you dragged out, your warm breath breaking the icy tension in the room, "what we doing today, boss?"

"mr musk is here." tom said, and his voice was shaky and your heart clenched. when you were thirteen, or perhaps fourteen, or maybe even fifteen, (or perhaps forever), you had cared for tom so much that you every one of his mannerisms down to a tee. the tapping of his expensive shoes on the car floor? too much coffee, which you had learnt when tom had discovered it at the blooming age of thirteen, when he had carried it around in this cute pink thermos you and harrison had bought for him. the way his head twitched to the right after a long, hard couple of days was barely there, but you would always know, his shoulders stiffening and his jaw clenching as he tried to stay as resolutely still as possible. you knew him to a tee, you knew how he felt, you knew how he ate, you knew how he loved.

and that was, perhaps, why the wall between you was so thick and hard to crack. you knew how he loved and you knew that he knew the way you loved. you were loving each other at different paces, in different ways, in different dimensions, but in the same unobtainable, scary way that everybody loves.

"elon musk?" you whispered, your voice making tom's fingers thrum with warmth.

he nodded, brown, scared eyes gazing at you. "well, ok." you hurried, heart pounding in your chest so loudly you could almost feel it in your fingers. "that's fine, that's cool. don't you worry, he makes cars."

"and flamethrowers." tom's voice was shaky, and the playfulness dripped off in such a way that you winced.

"well, hopefully he'll lend me one to burn that bloody honker off your face."

"oi!" tom waved a finger at you and you laughed, drifting into a comfortable silence that was bordering on uncomfortable, all at tom's fault of course. his nervousness came off his in huge, tsunami-like waves that soaked you through to the marrows of your bones.

the car came to a slow stop outside the office, parking between two expensive black cars. the sun was scorching as you stepped out, puffing and almost burning your hand on the heat of the chassis.

"bloody hell." tom breathed, tugging on his collar once more. "it's fucking boiling."

you hummed in agreement, laughing at a memory, "remember when-"

"yeah." tom agreed , eyes crinkling at the edges. "almost late for temple, wasn't he?"

you nodded, the memory of your brother frankie falling asleep at his mate's on a warm, stifling summer's day one june floating in the air between the two of you. your mother had shouted at him, so loud the entire neighborhood had heard, and you and your sister esther had hid in the rabbit coop to escape her wrath, the comfortable smell of grass soaking into your clothes. 

you had hid there once again, years and years later, when frankie had lost his voice breaks and the ie at the end of his name, and had set off to war in some foreign country. your mother had shouted then, in english and french and yiddish, but your brother had heard none of it, setting off two weeks later. 

"is he still,," tom trailed off, hand twitching towards you. you shook your head, lips pursed. he had been killed by a stranger in a foreign land, and the person you nor your mother knew who had gone to collect his body had been killed too. 

"right." tom moved a hand to you and you smiled a shaky smile hands reaching up to his neck to find some sense of comfort.

"can't see mr musk all raggedy looking, now." your voice was playful, light, but it shook as you touched his neck.

the stiff collar creased under your fingers with ease, and you slipped it back into place, flush against his sunburnt skin. his tie was in a muddle, and it resembled that of a fourteen year olds so much so that you let out a giggle, sliding it up to his top button. you lingered, eyes looking up into his face.

so, so, close.

he wasn't smiling, no, but his eyes held a warmth that told of bygone days, when your ma would cook the two of you a hot apple pie, when you would wade about in the paddling pool of the only bloody nature park in your town with your shorts wet at the hem, when you would camp out in the frozen aisles of supermarkets before being kicked out, the warm sun a constant on your young backs. 

his eyes were pools of honey, the sticky brown of them golden in the sunlight, wrinkled around the edges in the way that spoke of love and fun. the two of you were aging, and the world was moving around you at a steady pace and the two of you were still figuring things out, your hearts guarded but your eyes true.

his face was rough with the beginnings of stubble and the sun drying it out, but you were stood stroking his cheek so what would it matter anyway. the way he leaned into your thumb, fractionally but with so much care made your heart thump and your breath catch. the domesticity of it scared you, and so did his eyes and his nose and his lips and the way he knew you so well and the way you knew him. it was so familiar, being this close to him, like visiting your parents at the holidays with the snow falling and being scared about what they'd think of your hair and your clothes and the accent that had been created anew and the way you laughed like the world was yours.

"I'm sorry." his voice was quiet against the din of london but he was so, so close that it just slipped into your ears like how he slipped and slotted into your life perfectly, filling all the missing gaps. "for leaving. so much." 

you took a shuddering breath and slid your hands down to his shoulders, giving them a friendly clap. "can't keep a billionaire waiting, tommo!"

it was harsh, perhaps, but however hard tom was pushing to get to the heart that was sure to be soft putty in his hands, you couldn't dare let him. for your heart was soft and made of putty, malleable and so easily thrown out after use. you didn't want him to leave one day and put it on the kitchen counter like his keys those many, many years ago.

elon musk was a remarkable man,and the way he spoke was so eloquent, in a messy way that reminded you so much of the world.

"your company is that of the stars, mr holland," he had spoke, his hands a blur in the air in front of you. it was rather nice, the motion fanning your boiling skin. 

he had left in an even quicker blur, the smell of expensive cologne and pricey suits trailing after him. your body mourned the loss of his hands, but was rather please at the addition of a pair of oh so very familiar hands.

"so?"

"so." you answered. elon had proposed a few things that were all very unclear and far and few, his american voice harsh in your little english head. 

"I don't make cars." tom breathed, tugging on his collar with a small smile.

"no we don't." you smiled back at him, the sun shining just a little brighter.