#I feel the need to clarify because there's a tendency to see people talk about a specific behavior here and assume you mean everyone of

[bijoumikhawal]

Part of the problem with MLM fetishization discourse (mainly found onTwitter, but i see it here too), is that people see effeminacy and femininity in men itself as a fetish, and therefore can't be assed to understand actual issues we face with regard to sexuality

It's impossible to talk about fatphobia, underlying assumptions often related to white supremacist beauty standards, adultification, ageism, etc that feminine men experience because people are too busy getting in a tizzy over a guy wearing skirts in media. One of the big issues for me is hypersexualization- I was getting sexualized at a very young age for being what I am, it's a big issue historically, and a lot of media I could access when I was younger was basically just porn/erotica. And that porn/erotica was often like. Racist, it hypermasculinzed Blackness in comparison to white effeminates, and it only portrayed fem men as submissive bottoms (which isn't itself bad) whose effeminacy was humiliation, and submission was bc they're worth less than "real men"

And like, the joke is people are so focused on wether or not people writing femmes who bottom is bad (it's just a thing that happens irl) that you can't talk about anything else. It's also a form of hypersexualization. The only other thing ppl wanna discuss is "heteronormativity". Fiction where femmes are fucking isn't a bad thing with that being said, and desexualizing us is also a common homophobic thing to do, and tends to loop back to the "less than a real man" thing.

And like, "yaoi"/"BL" isn't the big driving factor in hypersexualization here. If nobody in the US knew what that was I still would've been getting hit on by men twice my age at 16 (who sometimes would loudly advertise their interest in femmes specifically, or more accurately, "femboys" and "tr*ps").

And honestly when you deal with just like- grown ass men looking at you that way, people moaning and bitching that the big concern for fetishization here is basically wether or not the character exists only deepens the shame felt from those interactions. I was made to feel uncomfortable and gross because my gender presentation was seen as sexual when I was a teenager, and all this shit does is go "yeah, it is sexual, when I look at people like you I think about sex and how the sex you have is bad". And part of my Ick with portrayals of femmes is that we're assumed as submissive bottoms because I'm not, but this is still deeply harmful to people that are because you're telling queers the way they fuck is morally wrong and you're instilling shame over it.

And like... actual fetishization for me is more often when femmes as objects of sexual desire are seen that way through a lens of "you're a faggot so you're beneath me, you should thank me when I call you slurs and do xyz, you're trash, shaving you so you have less body hair (so you look more feminine) is a punishment and symbolizes my superiority" because it's just intracommunity femmephobia/effemiphobia with a boner.

Its not that other things are non-issues but cis women clumsily writing a masc/femme dynamic is probably more likely to make me laugh than feel ashamed or disgusted, and instances of feminizing a character for bigotry reasons in fandom are less common than people complaining about effeminacy existing at all (including with femme transmasc characters, especially because usually those aren't being written by cis people). The actual things that have made me cringe with shame and disgust about cis women's view of feminine and effeminate men sexually are more difficult for me to unsnarl because I see it less often, and it's sometimes more visceral because while I was sexualized by men I was actually abused by women, but I'll be frank; those things usually aren't occurring in discussions about fandom.

When I get disgusted in fandom discussion isn't about femme characters existing at all, or top/bottom/switch- they're about people acting like writing romance/erotica about men fucking is the sacred right of cis women and any discussion about equity in publishing means you're attacking fandom when they're two different things, and that that right is more important than the fact that queer men can struggle to get published in romance- and subsequent issues with poverty. Or the insistence that to be fetishized you need to be a woman because fetishization is stored in the pussy (revealing they haven't thought about racism in the romance genre, and don't think about trans women). Its about queer men in fandom writing smut and getting harassed by women who write the exact same type of it because the way they do it is somehow bad. It's about my sexuality being seen as piece of land to fight over, that I'm not supposed to be on, not writing about men in fishnets.

[the-nosy-neighbor]

Bug-a-Bye and Goodnight

As always, I have edits:

This will make more sense at the end.

I came across some theories about this song, and wanted to look at it in depth.

We are reading with the understanding that he may be referring to Eddie.

[A gentle piano and bassoon track begins playing.]

The sun is low, it’s cold and dark,— end of season, but could also be a reference to night and danger after dark

Just wind and snow, I must remark,

The bugs all head to slumberland,—interesting given the use of toyland, also the commercial about remderem/insomnia (some must sleep but Wally is in the opposite state. Too aware?), but could be a reference to death, like “the big sleep”

Some might find it sad, but I understand,—on face value, he will miss his friends, but knows that it is inevitable.

Even if I might not be able to see you,—can’t see Eddie because he is gone/buried

I know it’s for the best, I can’t keep you,—Eddie staying would lead to serious consequences for Eddie

It’s time for all of you to get some rest,—after what we saw Eddie go through, I bet he would be better in a different state

To tuck you all into your arthropod nests,—bug stuff; also Julie's hibernation?

At this point, those last few lines could refer to a sort of death for Eddie. Almost like frank can preserve him in some way by giving him a death in this universe. If we are talking puppet world, which we did see in commercials, most of Eddie’s anxiety happened in that state. So, can Frank give Eddie a suspended or death like state in one of the layers of reality and he is preserved in storybook world or our real world?

With one last check, that nothing is amiss,

I can see you safe into your chrysalis,—this reads that he will put Eddie into a different state of being that he can come back from. The coming back is my interpretation only at this point because I assume frank wouldn’t choose death for him or would for sure be hurt by Eddie’s death. Things would have to be very bad if true death is a better option for Eddie.

Also, it hearkens back to the horror butterfly image. Another also, caterpillar to butterfly, an insinuation of emedging into a new form. I don’t see allusions to Howdy in here, but I suppose it is possible that this could refer to more than one neighbor and Frank is taking them all out.

As you snuggle down into your dirt,—reference to being buried?

I want to assure you that I won’t be hurt.

This clarifies that it is a sleeping type state, not death. Ok, here is we’re Eddie’s Halloween costume comes in. Frankenstein, changed from the Scarecrow in earlier art (presumably from wizard of oz). Interesting thing about scarecrow vs. Frankenstein is that we see scarecrow taken apart during that film and Frankenstein is famously assembled from parts of different people. Interestinger is the fact that they are both afraid of fire. (I love that Young Frankenstein shows up more than the original in a search.)

Frankenstein (and scarecrow) are both put back together, but for Frankenstein it seems more of a new being, not just a reassembling. Frankenstein (aka frankenstein’s monster) is a thinking, speaking individual that was horrified at the situation he was in. Frankenstein in the book murders to punish his creator for the immorality of creating him and the resulting loneliness that the monster feels. As such, the choice is very interesting. If the puppets of welcome home come to be aware or sentient, I wonder how they would feel about Ronald Dorelaine or their situation?

If the movie version is the focus of Eddie’s costume choice, then he would be a potentially thinking and feeling being (he is afraid of fire), but without further evidence we don’t know his thoughts.

Scarecrow is a guy without a brain, with the power of speech, so a kind of opposite. I think they all end up just needing to be confident, which is why some shyster from the Midwest is able to help. This almost seems to be more in tune with Eddie's character--Eddie has a tendency to appear kind of ditsy, is constantly being dismissed by others. In the end, we find out he is actually smart but lacks confidence. I can see that being true for Eddie as well.

If I had to pick out a character for Frank, it would be the Tin Man. Poppy is the Cowardly Lion, Wally is Dorothy. Home is Home. There are more parallels here than I was expecting. Howdy is the Wizard, Julie can be Glenda, and the Wicked Witch...is kind of no one? Sally can be a flying monkey. She works my nerve. Also, the whole spying thing was done by the monkeys in the movie.

But now that I am thinking about it, this comparison makes a lot of sense, in terms of the complex relationships, as well as the levels of reality that you find in Wizard of Oz. A big event leads to a shift in the understanding of reality, and the lead finds themselves in a very colorful world that doesn't much resemble their own, but is very flashy, has songs, beloved characters, and a sense of danger. There are some things when thought about in the context of real life, or the black and white portion of Wizard of Oz, would be truly frightening.

Of course, Wizard of Oz shares a lot of parallels with Alice in Wonderland, which also seems somewhat related. In terms of source material, the Wizard of Oz is considered to be a parable that expresses the thoughts about US economic policy in the 1890's. This is a theory that you can read more about here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_interpretations_of_The_Wonderful_Wizard_of_Oz

It isn't super related, and not everyone believes that this is the case. However, it seems to be a very American type story, no matter what you believe, that touches on the experience of normal people while much larger forces lie and fuck around with everything.

As the holidays begin to approach,

I gently kiss, each and every roach,—kisses for Eddie. We have seen a realistic roach on the secret page with the mishmash of one script where Wally is deciding what to draw

I made sure to keep, my garden cozy,

So you can safely sleep, in fallen posies,—this whole stanza shows a desire to and promise of a quiet death and maybe even a maintained grave. I looked up posies to see where Eddie could potentially be buried. Posies refer to a nosegay, or small bouquet of flowers. It was a Victorian secret code thing, a way to declare love or even reject people based on flower and color. One that sticks with us in the form of red roses signifying love. On the map, there is a cluster of yellow flowers to the side of Frank’s house. Not sure this counts as his garden, since it is on the other side of the house. Julie has a group of flowers behind her house, but once again, not his garden. No fallen flowers that I can ID.

When googling posey, this is what comes up. I felt that there was a flower called a posey, and these do look like the big yellow flowers by Frank’s house. If any flowers fall in updates, I am going to assume someone is buried there.

There is also the ring around the roses rhyme, which could relate, but I don’t really see a correlation.

It’s time to get comfortable in your honeycomb,

take your winter intermission in your garden loam,—dirt, burying again

neatly nestled from the cold in roots and rhi-ya-zomes, — cozy dead

sleeping side by side under stately stones,—2 dead? Headstones is the link I make there--OK, now look at the pic! (I know, it's a reach.)

…And I’ll be inside of my home,—frank is staying to oversee something. It reads like calming the person who will die. This seems to bolster that arguments that I addressed in the post about bugs on the previous website, that Frank is working against, or at least parallel to Wally. With the bugs, the whispering to Eddie, and using his first name, I think it is reasonable to suggest that Frank is working against Wally and/or Home.

Another potential clue is the hidden video with the clothespins where 1 is upside down. I have theorized that it is a reference to Barnaby dying, but it could be Barnaby and Eddie. Only one clothespin is shown upside down though, so Barnaby or Eddie?

Regardless of how I feel you need to go away,

I’ll be the one to tell you, you just can’t stay,—he likes bugs but this is extreme of Frank, if he is talking about actual bugs

Thankfully I lack a sentimental sensibility,—true that, he generally seems calm.

I enjoy my Methodical Mundanity,—why is this capitalized? I looked and looked but I can’t find the origin of this phrase, though it came up a few times in random posts and articles. Clown does have a tendency to capitalize things that seem random. Me below is also capitalized. I listened as well, and I have to wonder why the singing is so bad? I don’t think the voice actors are bad at singing, seems like a deliberate choice to have reedy and unsteady vocals, pitch issues and pacing problems.

Where all that’s left is… Me.

So, this is a bit extreme for a song about hibernating bugs. I think that given our many references to bisecting or otherwise putting people into pieces (Eddie butterfly horror, frank in a pile of body parts, look I made a dog, and slinky Barnaby, now Frankenstein and Scarecrow) that we could be looking at death in a sense that works in one layer of reality. You disassemble a puppet, it is no longer a puppet. So what if Frank = Frankenstein and Eddie is Frankenstein’s monster? Frank can take him apart and put him back together in puppet reality?

If I had to guess, I am sticking with my working theory. Frank, as the smartest guy in the neighborhood, is the resistant force in the neighborhood. Wally/Home is/are the catalyst for the scary stuff. They are central to everything, physically and otherwise.

I have mentioned that in the last update, Sally and Poppy have the appearance of spies or managing Eddie. Given that Poppy doesn’t attend to party, I am anticipating that Eddie was isolated and watched by Sally during this planning period, where Wally and Barnaby walk the neighborhood to find out what Homewarming is. Given that it is said that Wally and Home instigated Homewarming, it is strange that everyone knows what it is except for Wally. It reads more as an attempt to achieve a goal, despite everyone knowing about the holiday. Even Julie is at the party, and she is supposed to be hibernating. Well, they don't say exactly when Julie hibernates (maybe there was something about her doing it after the holiday?) Anyway, Poppy isn't at Homewarming. She could be at home, but the book stating that they are all here seems like an attempt to cover up her absence. What is she doing? Snooping in the Post Office while Sally watches Eddie? Does Eddie want to go home for not feeling well or he has an idea of what is happening while he is gone?

Maybe Frank sees his boyfriend and comrade at arms about to get hit with something bad, so to preserve him and the opposition, he is going to disassemble him (cue Johnny 5) for protection.

In the past, Sonny (the Brazilian bird) was cast as the opposition to Wally, and included in a relationship with Frank. This work in particular comes to mind:

Clown has stated that they removed Sonny from the project due to the story changing from one with a hero, to one without, as that wasn't the story that they wanted to tell. What if, though, instead of Sonny being written out for the hero reason, there was another reason? What if we are seeing Frank taking on being the neighborhood's savior? He is just snarky enough to make it seem less like a hero situation and more because it was impacting his garden.

[calissarowan]

I'm wondering what you think about dating the wizards. Like how would they be in a relationship? How would they treat you? How open would they be? If you did that already then sorry for the question.

Ooh, amazing question! No, I haven’t done that before, and let’s have some fun with this. Just to clarify, this is just them dating in general, not dating me specifically. Mostly because I’d crash and burn with two out of the four wizards in the first five minutes. (I’ll let you wonder which two.) I didn’t expect this to get as long as it did, so I’ll put in a keep reading.

Ogron in a relationship…is a tricky situation. Relationships are based on trust, and Ogron has the least trust out of any human being ever. He has a lot of issues and unresolved trauma (so do all the other wizards, but Ogron pretends he doesn’t), and his frustration and emotional upset has a tendency to get projected. A new partner would probably find themselves on the receiving end of that projection. He likes to set himself above other people, so a partner would probably find themselves feeling like they weren’t being listened to. He probably is listening, he’s just also listening to all his stress-points at the same time, and they’re very loud. He’s argumentative, and absolutely anything, even the tiniest thing, will be over-analysed until ‘Sorry, I’m busy tonight’, has been assessed so much that the man could write a thesis on it. Emotional vulnerability is seemingly off the table, and his partner would have to not be offended by the fact he wants to keep them out of just about every part of him. His mother left him when he was young, so he has really bad abandonment issues, which are another obstacle to be dealt with.

But! If, by some miracle, someone sticks by him through the anxiety, breakdowns, yelling, nit-picking, judgement and constant brush-offs, he’ll start to see them differently. He’s been the absolute nightmare that is him, and they’re still there. They still want to be there. For him. And that makes him feel so valued and cared for, and he starts to very gradually calm down, and even begin to let them in. It’s really, really small stuff at first. He’ll choose his partner over staying up until two am working on a plan. A very, very casual remark about his family. Anything pertaining to his parents, even if it’s as simple as his father liking a specific kind of plant, is a very rare and special invitation to step further into his life and heart, and it should be treasured and afforded the utmost respect. He needs to be listened to if he’s speaking; never interrupt, even casually, because regardless of what he’s saying, if his partner cuts him off, he feels they don’t care about what he was saying, and thus what he thinks, and thus about him. And then the spiralling starts. Once some brave soul has battled through everything Ogron’s emotional issues can throw at them, he will have the utmost respect for them, and they will become one of the most important people in his life, and likely his rock, because he needs someone to hold him steady. Once you’re there, Ogron is actually fairly playful, loving a good few hours of witty banter, and his partner will be regaled with long talks about whatever interests him this week, but he’ll also learn about whatever interests them, and then somehow know more than them, but it’s endearing. He’s a judgy, paranoid, overly-emotional mess, but goddamn it, he will become your judgy, paranoid, overly-emotional mess, and you will never want to let this very broken man out of your life if you’ve managed to get into his.

It’s very hard to tell if Gantlos actually likes just about anyone to start with. Stony glares from him are roughly equivalent to a neutral smile. If he actually gives someone a neutral smile, they are in, they’ve done it, he likes them. Gantlos would treat his partner (currently Duman) with the highest respect, and always, always put their needs before his own. If they had a sprained ankle and he had two broken legs, a dislocated shoulder, bruised ribs and a concussion, he’d still insist on carrying them everywhere. Of course, that ends with both parties in a heap, but Gantlos is too stubborn to acknowledge that, because he’s fine. This lack of ability to acknowledge being hurt can lead to a fair few heart attacks for his partner, like when he breaks a limb, and they flip out, and he says, ‘No, it’s fine. Look, it’s really just like I gained a new joint! It’s positive!’ Best bet for getting him medical help is usually to wait until he passes out and just drag him to the hospital. So that’s fun for his partner…

About how open he is, honestly? Gives Ogron a run for his money in being closed-off. Ask him about just about anything personal, and, while Ogron will snap, Gantlos will just shut up. In my headcanon, he had a very traumatic experience when he was younger that left him with some serious scarring, so, basically, he won’t take his shirt off around his partner for a very long time, because he’s traumatised and ashamed. It’s very, very important to acknowledge it when you first see it, but not to look freaked out, or to say anything negative. ‘It’s not as bad as I was expecting’ is usually a good way to go. Duman went for ‘Well I have like ten more scars, so I win.’ Which was…risky. But, surprisingly, got a laugh.

Again, personal headcanon, but I headcanon that he’s part vampire, so that part of him is kept firmly away from his partner as long as possible. He’ll refuse to touch them while vampiric, out of a fear that he’ll hurt them. Just trust him completely, because someone has to have faith in him when he doesn’t. He really just needs to be accepted.

Once Gantlos is in love with someone, it’s pretty much the case that if someone dares hurt them, he will hunt that person down and obliterate them. He doesn’t do well at offering advice on problems, or just romance in general, so his partner kinda has to lead the way. He’s also kinda overprotective, which can end up being a little suffocating, but that’s just a conversation that has to be had. He cares so fiercely and passionately; he’d die for someone he loves.

Anagan is attentive, caring, and has a tendency to go a bit overboard showing he has feelings for his partner. He treats them with the highest respect, and he’s always on their side. Even if they’re wrong. Even if they’re seriously wrong. He can’t really call his partner out until he’s incredibly comfortable, because he has serious issues with being an appeaser. He doesn’t want to start a fight, and if he has to be wrong every day for the rest of his life, well then so be it. His partner’s every problem will be attentively listened to, and he will then try to fix it. Usually through advice, but sometimes on his own, which has…mixed results. He just wants to help, though.

He has a bit of an inferiority complex, so he actually will get jealous pretty easily. Not in an aggressive, judgmental way, but in a ‘could that other person do a better job than me’ way. He just gets very sad and broody, and this has to be picked up on very quickly, or it spirals a bit until Anagan is simultaneously depressed and enthusiastically showing you how much he loves you.

In terms of how open he is, he’s actually the most open of all the wizards. His past can be discussed relatively quickly, though more details will follow as he and his partner get closer. He tends not to say how he’s feeling unprompted, but if he’s asked, he’ll admit it quite easily, and he’ll offer an explanation. So as long as you meet him halfway, he’s a good communicator.

He’s definitely the kind of boyfriend that likes to surprise his partner with nice things, like a romantic dinner, or a gift. He loves giving flowers, but not cut ones. Living plants, that must subsequently be taken care of. Sometimes, his partner is bad with plants, so Anagan subsequently rescues his plants and takes them back home. His partner can visit them somewhere they’re not drowning or practically blowing away as dust. Innocent plants are not getting sacrificed for a relationship they aren’t a part of, and that’s final. All in all, a great boyfriend to have.

Duman is…insanity in leather. For the beginning of most relationships, he’d barely even dip into being serious, just being sarcastic and making jokes and doing dumb stuff. Honestly, the entire start is a shield, so he can see if they leave. He didn’t do this with Gantlos, because Gantlos knew him way too well, but with anyone else, he’s just waiting for them to leave. Like Ogron, he has serious, serious abandonment issues, so he tends to be pretty…clingy. He wants to go everywhere with his partner, and the idea of them going away for a few days makes him very edgy because what if they never come back?! This also makes him jealous, because what’s to stop his partner just leaving him for that guy over there? Nothing! He and Gantlos are thankfully past this, but it was a bit of an issue to begin with, until Gantlos said that he was being ridiculous, and if he ever found someone more perfect for him than Duman, then reality would clearly be broken.

Like Gantlos, Duman really needs to be accepted. He shows off his shapeshifting a lot, but he was mistreated because of it in the past, and part of him is still self-conscious, so his powers can never be judged, and he can never be looked at as an animal, because he’s not one, and he’ll get very upset. Though, for the most part, he’s come to accept himself, and he believes everyone else should too, so his partner’s every flaw will be loved as much as their greatest qualities, because nobody deserves to be shamed.

He’s an absolute tease, and he’s always playful. He always wants to be able to make his partner laugh, and if they’re sad, it becomes his life’s mission not to stop until they’re smiling again. He’s very overly-dramatic, and this just has to be tolerated. Nod along when he acts like he’s cut his finger off, and it’s just a paper cut. It’s important to him. He needs attention, and lots of it. He was neglected for a long time, so feeling like someone’s priority is very important to him.

Actually pretty open. He’ll talk about his past and feelings, but it’s ninety-percent in the form of sarcastic pseudo jokes. You’re just going to have to piece his emotional state together through sarcasm, and figure out his backstory from traumatic anecdotes he laughs awkwardly after telling. He thinks he’s over it all, so don’t correct him.

Generally, he becomes someone’s safe space after a while. He doesn’t judge, because he knows how much that sucks. When it comes to Gantlos, he’s pretty much got this traumatised, insecure, stoic, hurt wizard, and it’s his life’s mission to make him feel loved, accepted and valued. It’s an uphill battle, but he’ll succeed.

And that’s the wizards in relationships! Great question; thanks for sending it in! I hope I answered it well. What did you think?

[mybullshitsensesaretingling]

A Vulcan Smile Part Seven

[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six]

Jim looked up from his computer as the door to his ready room swished open. He had stolen away to the ship to get some much-needed quiet to review his notes before his next meeting. A quiet he was surprised to see emanating from his best friend as he made his way across the room. 

Leonard typically preferred to make his presence in a room known, entering with a joke or a complaint or some kind of combination of the two. Now he took a seat across from Jim in complete silence. The captain looked him over, trying to identify where this change was coming from. He wore crumpled shirt and an unreadable expression.

"Is that the same uniform as yesterday?" Jim finally asked. 

"Didn't have time to change."

"You've been off duty for twelve hours, Bones. How long does it take? You wear the same thing everyday," Jim pointed out.

"I was helping Joanna with her homework and then," Leonard's voice dropped slightly, "I was with (Y/N)."

Jim’s brows raised. "Were you?"

"Apologizing," Leonard clarified. 

"And what did you do that required you to apologize all night long?" Jim's words tiptoed around innuendo. 

"Joanna was suspended for starting a fight."

"So you were apologizing for your part in bringing another angry McCoy into the universe," Jim guessed. 

"I didn't react well to the news," Leonard admitted. "Started a fight of my own." 

"That doesn't sound like you," Jim said sarcastically. 

“I blamed her. Told her that Joanna was picking up violant tendencies from her,” Leonard explained. 

Jim let out a disappointed breath. He didn’t know you well, but he had heard so much about you through long winded, sporadic rants from Leonard that he could guess how well that went over. He certainly knew enough about people in general to know that wasn’t something you said to someone who cared gor your child. 

“She blamed me. Told me Joanna was acting out because she’s hurt that I left and doesn’t know how to express it.” Leonard slumped back in the chair. “Apparently I don’t put in enough effort as a father.” 

“Well,” Jim started pointedly. He raised his brows and tilted his head, hoping if he made a strong enough facial expression he wouldn’t have to finish the thought out loud.

“When were you planning to tell me you though I was a bad father?” 

Jim let out a breathy chuckle at his friends dramatics. “I don’t think you’re a bad father. I think that (Y/N) spends a lot of time with Joanna and if she thinks she’s feeling a little abandoned then she might know what she’s talking about.” 

Leonard sighed. “I know.”

“What are you going to do about it?” 

“I already apologized.” 

This earned Leonard a look that told him he needed to do better than that.  

“I suppose I don’t really have a choice.” 

“Not if you ever want to be able to respect yourself again.” 

Leonard groaned and rubbed a hand across his face. “I’m not cut out for this.” 

“You said the same thing the first time you had to work on a ship. Now look at you.” 

“Now look at me,” Leonard repeated in a defeated tone.

“You know-” Jim waited until his friend was looking at him again to finish, “Centaurus isn’t that far out of our way.” 

“Oh no.” Leonard shook his head and held up a hand. “This ship is on red alert every other thursday. My eleven year old isn’t going to be involved in that.” 

“We’d be taking a similar course to the shuttle. Any dangers we run into they’d probably run into too. Wouldn’t you prefer she run into them with you?” 

“I’d rather she not be in space at all, but seeing as I wasn’t given a choice in that…” Leonard trailed of, thinking it over. “You wouldn’t mind the detour?” 

“Not at all.” 

“You know letting my daughter and Spock’s sister loose on this ship might lead to more chaos than we’re prepared for.” 

Jim shook his head. “Spock’s gonna hate this.” 

“You don’t have to convice me, Jim. I’m alread on board.” 

-

“Tell me again,” Leonard ordered as he walked with Joanna to the Enterprise. 

“The warp core, jefferies tubes, and bridge are off limits. If red lights start flashing I am to stay in my room. If I hear the word ‘anomoly’ over the comms, I am to find you in the sickbay. If I see more than five people in uniform running in the halls I am to find Ms. Grayson and wait for the all clear. No wandering the halls or entering the recreation deck or holodeck alone. No fun of any kind,” Joanna rattled off. 

“Good. Stick to those rules and you should make it back home in one piece.” 

“Can’t I have a little fun?” 

“Being a passenger on the Enterprise is-” 

“Not a reward for punching my classmate even if he is a shithead and desereved it,” she parroted the words he’d used when he explained the arrangement to her. “I’ve gotten like two lectures a day since I was suspended, thrown up on during a shuttle ride here, and given four times the calc homework I would normally have. Haven’t I been punished enough?” 

“We’re not punishing you. We’re making sure you’ve learned your lesson. We don’t want you to turn into a violent drop out with no direction in life and a long arrest record.” 

“You’re say ‘we’ a lot about you and Ms. Grayson,” she pointed out. 

“Oh look! Lieutenant Uhura.” Leonard quickly changed the subject, coming to a stop outside the air lock where the Lieutenant was standing. “Waiting for Spock?” 

“He’s just saying goodbye.” She nodded over to where he stood with you and Serek. 

“Good might be a stretch,” Leonard mumbled. 

“Who are they talking to?” Joanna asked. 

“The Vulcan ambassador,” Nyota answered. 

“They don’t seem to like him.” 

“It’s a complicated relationship,” she said, watching the three of you hold up Vulcan salutes. 

As the ambassador turned and boarded another ship, you folded down you pinky and ring finger and lifted your raised fingers to your temple. Your head jerked to the side as you pretended to shoot yourself in the head. To Leonard's suprise, Spock used his hand to wipe your imaginary blood from the side of his face. 

The two of you walked in silence to meet the others. You both had your hands clasped behind your back, but as you got closer yours moved to swing at your side. 

Uhura watched the way Leonard smiled and then stiffened awkwardly as you approached.

“Come on let’s get out of here before Spock and I are used as a visual aid in another debate about the future of the Vulcan race,” you said when you reach them. “If I get called V’tosh ka’tur one more time, I’m going to start throwing things.” 

“That kind of behavior is exactly why they call you V’tosh ka’tur,” Spock pointing out.

“Don’t call your sister a Vulcan without logic, Spock,” Uhura chastised. 

“Thank you. Wanting to throw things at those stuffy, xenophobic elders is completely logical,” you argued. “And besides they call you V’tosh ka’tur too.” 

Spock mouth dropped open. “I am not V’tosh ka’tur. I follow the ancestral teachings.” 

“But you stink like a human.” 

“You are using nasal supresants. You don’t know what I smell like.” 

Leonard leaned forward and took a wiff. “No, she’s right. Just like a human.” 

You smiled at the doctor. “This is going to be a fun little trip.” 

Joanna grinned. Spock’s jaw tightened.

[cicad4s]

toma headcanons because im crazy (cw for stuff on his route + some nsfw):

he smoked in highschool:

in his concept art, he's shown with a cigarette in his mouth (in fact thats one of the only things that was changed from his final design lol). i headcanon that while he was in highschool and very emotionally silly over the heroine / his feelings towards her, he'd kind of avoid her and hang around the "wrong crowds", eventually getting into smoking. he used it as stress relief but its also had the opposite effect bc heroine would KILL him if he ever smoked.. so ? he just kind of sat there feeling guilty and depressed (as toma tends to do).

anyways he quit cold turkey at one point because he got caught by shin. shin was PISSED. he made toma swear that he'd quit immediately otherwise he'd tell the heroine what he was doing (tbh the only threat that would actually work; especially when hes still a teenager and less hateful towards shin). i think he lectured him sooo hard and called him an idiot 5 morbillion times

i feel like i need to clarify that toma was probably the lamest rebellious kid out there. like yeah he smoked but he was doing it bc it was a group expectation, not because he really wanted to.

not entirely inexperienced:

going back to toma in highschool; its canon that he dated a bunch of girls who asked him out, though i don't think he ever got really far with them. i think he's kissed like one girl out of obligation / because he felt like he needed to keep up the act or at least Try to get over the heroine; though i think he probably broke up with that girl soon after. i doubt that any girl he ever dated wouldnt notice his goo goo eyes for the heroine LOL so maybe they knew what they were getting into.

soo i dont think heroine is his first kiss (tho i do think she's his first in other aspects)

sexuality in general:

i think toma is honest to god super repressed in terms of his own sexuality and that's where most of his issues come from. this man does not see ANY (LITERALLY ANY. even nonsexual) of his desires as being normal. that's why he really was so okay with just being onii-chan... it was a safe space for him where he could live in his "wholesome ideals" of a relationship. i feel like most of his talk abt "im a man!!! im a man i could take advantage of you!!" was out of legitimate fear that his sexual side was some beast that he had to keep caged (haha) and that he might hurt the very person he cares abt most in the world. so w that in mind i really can't see this guy being super overtly horny LOL. cage ending aside while i think hes a freak in the sheets or whatever he would be so shy and demure about it all... ahhh heroine... u can't just look at me like that... kyaaa... hes the kind of guy to freeze like a deer in headlights when anything romantic or sexual happens (i like it... but i shouldn't... but i should pull away.. but i don't want to....)

i think hes a soft dom w service top tendencies tee be aich... though id love to go down on him (Who said that ?! )

he totally has a maid fetish imo. it's basically canon so like... that being said it's funny as fuck that he's like Tch... I don't want you to be a maid for other people... you'll just be a maid for me 😈 (in his bad end). like cmon man.

silly:

- i like to imagine that toma learned how to drive purely because he wanted to be able to help shin and the heroine out ... he is the reliable older brother chauffeur of your dreams. I also like to think that he really sucked ass at first though and he got pulled over for running a stop sign once.

- this is just me but i hc him with Poland syndrome 👍👍

[tigreblvnc]

BLUE LOCK MATCHUP EXCHANGE — @hidden-oracle

Your match is...

— Hiori Yo

✦ Hiori appeared to me transparently throughout my reading of your description!

✦ He is very calm, observant but can firmly assert his positions when he believes in them. I find that this creates a great balance with your tendency to become easily anxious; he knows how to stabilize and clarify the situation.

✦ Super good at problem-solving, he processes all the information behind the scenes before coming back with THE solution that will work.

✦ I suppose he adopts a similar tactic when he plays his video games, and I have no doubt that you find a lot of common ground in this area.

✦ I can see you both playing games that require a lot of tactics and cooperation.

✦ A couple of geeks at heart!

✦ I can see him loving thrill rides and wanting to challenge the haunted house with you; outwardly, you wouldn't think it, but he doesn't back down easily from adversity.

✦ The presence that always comes to take your hand when you start to panic.

✦ I imagine his voice to be very calm, composed, and gentle. The kind you love to hear.

✦ Totally the type to enjoy being with you without necessarily having to talk.

✦ He often does that when he plays his favorite games. Being with the person he feels good with is more than enough for him, and you don't need more to feel comfortable.

✦ Very attentive to what's going on despite his tendency to be a bit withdrawn, he knows your favorite foods and dishes, can describe with precision the outfits you've worn over the past seven days, and can predict what you'll need for your next outing.

✦ Speaking of outings, we know that Hiori doesn't usually like them, but for occasions like conventions, movie outings, or simply strolling with you in a slightly secluded natural spot, he gladly agrees.

✦ I don't see him particularly liking crowds, but he is very good at understanding human mentality.

✦ He MUCH prefers your honesty even if it hurts. In fact, I would even say that it gives him a boost when he starts to stagnate.

✦ Your tendency to give a lot to others makes him admire you. Deep down, it reminds him a bit of his attitude of wanting to comply with others' desires, but unlike him, you don't let yourself be pushed around and can probably tell when people start to take advantage of you. He wants to be like you and I can perfectly see him seeking your contact a bit clumsily when he needs advice but doesn't quite know how to ask for it.

✦ The boy is not used to asking for help from others.

✦ But he is very good at seeing when someone needs something.

✦ Especially when this someone is you.

✦ It's also good that you know how to take the lead in the relationship because it's not something Hiori would instinctively do, as he is more of a follower than a leader. You give him direction to follow, and he supports you in your goals.

✦ Complete evenings playing video games and watching movies will be common between you.

✦ Big fluffy blanket on your laps and room plunged into darkness.

✦ Even if you fall asleep, Hiori always keeps an eye on you in case you need something.

✦ He is not the most communicative person on earth but has a good understanding of who you are and wants to take care of you as much as you seek to ensure others are well.

✦ A bit like with Isagi, he will want to do everything to highlight your skills in what you do while acting in your shadow. Hiori's MBTI being INFJ, we know that this profile is often nicknamed "the counselor," and it's not for nothing.

A word about your match: My first thought was Chigiri because of dancing (I think that's a sport he'd really enjoy too besides soccer), but video games and not going out much definitely put Hiori on the table.

© JAE-PUDDING 2024 | INTERESTED IN A MATCHUP EXCHANGE? CHECK THIS.

[anonymous-kotlc-thoughts]

okay so. this is supposed to be a confessions blog, where people express their subjective opinions. why do yall feel the need to clarify 'THIS ISN'T ABOUT FITZ' and stuff like that? It's supposed to be your subjective opinions

it just feels like your policing/censoring yourselves?

(I think it's because of the tendency for some people to see Keefe and Fitz as like. two sides of a coin or whatever. since there was/is a lot of sokeefe vs sophitz or Keefe vs Fitz stuff. it's nice sometimes to think about the characters on their own. some people tend to bring up the other when one is mentioned, and sometimes it's great to just focus on the character they're talking about instead of constantly comparing the two.)

(that's also just my opinion and didn't feel like splitting it up in the tags. I'm also gonna count this as a kotlc thought even tho I did also answer it lol)

[kitkatopinions]

When Blake had Sun by her side she was strong willed, capable, and motivated while fighting for what she believes in. Now that she's with Yang? She's like a totally different character and not in a good way.

I think there were a couple of contributing factors in the big Blake change.

One of them was definitely the relationship with Yang. People have pointed out that Yang underwent some changes too, they leaned into her more aggressive hotheaded tendencies and made her more 'butch' than she was before, and made her concern for her family secondary at best and near non-existent at worst, and meanwhile Blake got meek and cutesy and shorter than she had been and in need of saving more often than not. I'm not trying to say that they shouldn't have gone with the bees as a ship, but the way they did it, it almost feels like they felt like they had to change them to conform to some standard queer girl couple stereotype, and Blake suffered the most from the change.

But on top of that, I think that a lot of the change came about from how wildly they mishandled the Faunus-racism arc and their desire to get distance from it. They always did use Blake as a mouthpiece, whether it was in the early seasons when she was calling out Weiss but letting her get away with never apologizing or when it was season five and they used her to say their 'faunus on faunus crime' bit where she told the Faunus that they should be helping their oppressors fight off the bad civil rights group. So it really isn't surprising that when they were trying to make everyone forget about their mess ups and move on and see Adam as nothing but an abuser, they made Blake suddenly not care about or bring up Faunus rights at all, never mention her parents, Ilia, or Sun ever again, and made her suddenly 'the perfect palatable abuse victim.'

Even in V5 when Blake was wrong (because the writers were being awful, I have a hard time blaming the character for how the writers misused her,) she still cared and she was still passionate and would talk about the injustice of how the Faunus had gotten shuffled off to Menagerie. But they couldn't have Blake still care about the issues and be willing to fight the powers that be in V6 onwards, because that would remind everyone of how the writers screwed up the Faunus-racism thing. And meanwhile, she has to be 'the perfect palatable abuse victim' to make Adam look as bad as possible so that everyone will unquestioningly hate Adam and forget about how misused the Faunus and the White Fang and he were. So if Blake is a sad, flinching, wide-eyed, meek person who can't stand up for herself, fans will say "see what Adam did to her!" And not "Why did the writers make the only pro-Faunus rights group featured in the story a group of evil terrorists that our heroes must fight." Fans will say "Poor Blake went through so much at Adam's hands, how can anyone say such a vile abusive monster ought to have been portrayed differently?" And they won't say "Why did Blake's abuser have to be a leader in a pro-Faunus rights activist group and why did he have to have a cattle brand on his face indicating the hate crime he suffered?"

Blake stopped showing the 'less palatable' side affects that could be traced to her abuse, like a hot temper and her obsessive tendencies and her difficulties getting close to people and her more cynical side, and it's just a little hard to not think that it was purposefully taken from her to make her more palatable and pitiable so that more people forget about the injustices Blake and her people have suffered, and instead more people would think her only problem only ever was Adam, and focus more on how he hurt her than how the society they weren't interested in dissecting and putting effort into had hurt her and they'd focus more on Blake personally getting better and not in the society itself getting better. Whether or not this was done intentionally, this is how Blake's transformation feels. And just to clarify, I'm not saying that Blake's journey as an abuse victim and her path to getting better wasn't important. I think it was very important, but the writers actually haven't done a real 'Blake heals' story first off and as I've pointed out she actively feels less healthy now than she did in the first five seasons, and second off, it clearly wasn't the only important part of Blake's story and the rest mattered too. But they wrote out Blake's care for the Faunus and her activism, and heavily emphasized her role as an abuse victim while changing everything about her character to make her closer to Snow White from the 1937 Disney movie than she was to her V1-5 self.

So yeah, I think the relationship with Yang was definitely a contributing factor, but I think their attempts to move on from and deflect from their mishandling of the Faunus-racism allegory was also a really big contribution to Blake's character change.

[tjmystic]

Before I say anything else, let me be clear that I support trans, nonbinary, and otherwise queer people. I support and want to validate the ways that they choose to present themselves and the things they need to make themselves feel like humans instead of weird dolls that someone slapped a gender onto arbitrarily. This is not a TERF post, I'm not interested in anything TERFs have to say.

Now, with that out of the way, I'm going to do a "woe is me, poor little privileged person" thing, and I'm well aware that it's going to sound dumb, but this blog is basically a virtual diary at this point, and, if you followed me, you signed up to sneak into my room with little flashlights and creep through the pages.

It is SO difficult to hold so-called "normal" or mainstream identities when, in large part, you don't want to have a community with any of the people who also hold such identities. And not just because of them. It's also because of people who are deemed transversive or abnormal. I recognize that this is a purely online problem and that most people who don't match the norm have to hide themselves away in fear lest they be attacked, but I'm not really interested in meeting or doing things with anyone in person, so virtual interaction is what I do. And because I reject everything fascist, white supremacist, evangelical, and misogynistic, most of my curated online experience is very queer. Usually, that's great. I'm not queer myself, but I usually feel like I have more in common with queer people than I do with other cis straights.

But not always.

Here's an example. I get that a lot of people hate the gender binary and find it oppressive. I completely agree that arbitrary gender roles are stupid. I also understand that gender isn't completely binary because, otherwise, nonbinary and agender people wouldn't exist. But people lose me when they say they want to abolish gender entirely. I am a woman and I like being a woman and I have always identified as either a girl or a woman. (Discounting one day when I was 4 and tried drawing hair on my chest with my mom's mascara because I COMPLETELY missed the point of Mulan and thought it meant you couldn't do cool stuff if you were or looked like a girl. My mom clarified things for me.) Taking that away from me would be taking away a big part of who I am and how I define myself. I don't even like the idea of anyone ever asking me about my pronouns, because the idea that someone couldn't be able to tell at first glance that I'm a woman makes me feel gross. Not because being anything besides a woman is gross, but because me being seen as anything other than what I am is. I already feel unsexy and ugly and unattractive on a daily basis, being mistaken for anything but a woman would just make that even worse.

On a similar note, I'm a monogamous person. I like the idea that other people have so much love to give that they don't want to be confined to a single romantic pairing. Sometimes. But, most of the time, hearing people openly describe their relationship goals with terms like, "I don't want to limit myself to one person" and, "It's stupid to think that one person can fulfill all of your emotional needs" is deeply depressing for me. It plants that seed of reminder that even people I think I have a kinship with would never think I'm enough in a relationship, that they would eventually get bored of me and want more because I just can't do it for them on my own. That is devastating to me.

Final example: I'm Christian. Literally no one needs me to explain why Christians are pretty much always the bad guys. Even I have a tendency to cringe away from or otherwise dismiss anyone who calls themselves Christian or talks about Jesus because I know the behaviors and attitudes associated with my religion. But it's still my religion. And seeing people call all religions cults, say we should do away with religion entirely, or claim that religion is the main source of people wanting to murder each other makes me want to bash my head against a wall.

But it doesn't feel like there's an alternative. I'm not talking to people who want to oppress or even murder trans and other queer people. I'm not participating in anything with people who think that enforced monogamy is a good thing. I don't actually see any kinship between myself and predominantly white nationalists who use Jesus as an excuse to do whatever the fuck they want. But it sometimes feels like the only alternative to that is being stuck in a weird "other" box.

I'm not expecting a reward for doing the bare minimum of rejecting the stupid and cruel parts of society. I'm not comparing my "struggle" or whatever to the genuine fear of assault and death that queer people have to deal with on a daily basis. It would just be nice if there was any kind of community that doesn't want to kill or hurt people but is also cool with liking some of the societal constructs we've been born with.

[hermetiqa]

Hello! First of all thank you so much for performing the readings for me🤍 Here’s my feedback for the readings!

1- the person that it wronged me was someone from my teenage years. You got it right! Also they never apologised to me because they think they did nothing wrong to me.. even if they suddenly apologised to me which is so unlikely since I cut off contacts with them, it is too late and also not needed.

“They might have manipulated you in some way, something that's related to your emotions and maybe even something you're passionate about” yess that’s so accurate! They manipulated me emotionally and gaslighted me to do things that I must do, but actually I am free to do whatever I want, but they couldn’t accept that I didn’t have the same vision as them.

Also it is so accurate that when I have the closure I am more vocal about my boundaries! It is something that I worked out for a while. I found stability in myself and I am very patient with myself, since nobody had that patience with me then I got it from myself.

“Just because you said it doesn't mean that it was real” I like this part so much because they were projecting their life experiences to me and instead of acknowledging that my life and theirs are just different they keep pushing their ideas to me. I hated it so much.

For clarification, this person is not my ex or something, just an official stranger that I would usually talk with. We weren’t even friends so they feel entitled of having a saying over me made me so mad and frustrated.

The last part of this reading does resonate so much because I will welcome only the people that respect me and love me for who I am. I refuse to let random people in my life from now and on.

Also it is something that I am currently manifesting.

I am sure that I almost got closure and will never see my past ever again. That person taught me how I will never let anyone tell me what I can or cannot do because they wanted their version of me that is not me.

2- this confirmed what I knew! And you are absolutely correct that at that time I indeed was hopeful and curious of their answer. This is the same person that I was mentioning previously.

From their personality I was sure to receive insults from them because I was an ungrateful bitch or something but at the end of the day I am glad I never received their answer.

“You need to learn to heal without receiving anything. You shouldn't ask them for "closure" that you deserve because if they really wanted to give you this, you should've had it by now.” I actually I didn’t have any high hopes to receive anything for every connection that I ended. So this part didn’t really resonate with me. For “closure that I deserve” I mean let my past self rest for good. I was tormenting myself because of past experiences, that’s what I meant. I am sorry that I didn’t clarify that.

“I can also see here that if you received a response to your letter, there's a tendency that you won't be able to walk away from the connection.” This is true. If at that time I received their insults then I would be so mad that I would have a hard time to process everything.

“You might wait for them (again) and be patient with them. This person already betrayed you.” I am not waiting for them, heck no lol. But this person did betray my trust. I have zero patience for them and if I have them in front of me I would slap their face for manipulating a fucking teenage me and be the worst guide ever.

“This person has strong masculine energy here and you might've felt safe around them and emotionally connected at some point, but your connection was draining, whether you noticed it or not and whether you admit it or not.” They are a man yes! I did feel safe to tell some of my personal issue because I was looking up to him as a guide and teacher and not someone that would manipulate me because I was disagreeing with his points😃

I don’t remember if I put that much effort in that connection but it did drain my energies the last years that I was talking with him. It seems that I trusted the wrong person from the very beginning but whatever lol.

“Your spirit guide prevented you from receiving an answer to your letter because you've already went through a lot in this connection and you're better off without them.” Yes that’s accurate! That was what I am being told and actually what happened behind my back. I guess I am blessed for not receiving their letter.

These two readings resonated with me 80%! If you practice more I am sure that you will be a very scarily accurate reader! You most of the time did guess right! Your intuition is very good!!

Thank you for your energies and did overall enjoyed my readings🤍

Hello! Thank you so much for the feedback. I'm so sorry to hear that not everything resonated with you, I was trying out a different way of doing the readings when I did the free mini readings. But still, I'm glad you enjoyed your readings! Again, thank you for the feedback. You're such a sweetheart and I appreciate your feedback. It's so detailed!! I wish you well <3

[heartbreakslow]

It was SO annoying to rewatch this season, going like, “oh yeah, everything Darren/Cash is quite good,” and then get to 2x07.

It's like they Frankensteined two unrelated arcs together--the well-developed Chook harassing Cash + Darren doesn't know who Cash is arc, and the ace/allo arc, which is missing like...half the scenes.

Here's my attempt to reconstruct what I think this arc was supposed to be. I crossed out all the stuff that didn't happen or was barely touched on before 2x07.

Cash and Darren are doing well, except for one thing: Darren is very sexually frustrated and hiding it. Maybe they feel guilty about s1 or maybe it’s just their tendency toward extremes. Their idea of being a good partner to Cash is to completely deny their sexual feelings. Asking him to explore compromises is unthinkable, they’d feel like they’re coercing him. They won’t even tell him when they have sexual fantasies or jerk off—they hide it/lie about it, and develop a lot of sexual shame. This becomes just another way that Darren feels like “too much.”

Meanwhile Cash doesn’t realize this is going on. At one point Cash pushes to try something together and it goes well, but he doesn’t make a habit of it and has no idea how frustrated Darren is.

Finally it all builds up and Darren almost cheats. Cash finds out what a hard time Darren is having, and he feels terrible. He too has a very binary view of the situation, so he thinks that his asexuality is causing them pain and there is no other option but to break up with them.

Nan tells Cash that he and Darren could actually try different things and see if they can find a solution, instead of jumping to break up because they run into a problem.

Meanwhile Darren has joined the Puriteens, but Cash runs to prom and tells them not to be ashamed of their sexuality, and that the two of them need to talk about Darren’s needs and see if they can find an arrangement that works.

The Puriteens vs. Cash lets us clarify the difference between sex negative (an ideology) and sex repulsed/averse (which is just the way someone is, and has nothing to do with thinking sex is bad).

Also, can someone help me understand what's so bad about getting off 2x a day? This was a terrible way to illustrate Darren being frustrated. Jerking off is a different activity (as demonstrated by the fact that some sex averse people do it!), it's not a symptom of not having enough partnered sex.

Or is the problem that they were hiding it/ashamed of it? Okay, that's a genuine problem, but if so, this was terribly conveyed.

[bigskydreaming]

Just in general, and not actually prompted by one specific conversation as this is something I've noted for awhile, but speaking just for myself - unless I post something under a read more and with tags about just wanting to get something off my chest and not wanting it reblogged....anything and everything else I post I do so not with the EXPECTATION of engagement, but with an active interest IN that post being engaged with in various ways, from reblogging to actual commentary, etc.

I don't post just to hear myself talk or the written equivalent or whatever. I can post to private if that's what I need/want. Please don't ever feel like you need to be circumspect about reblogging something I've posted just because I've gotten personal or am discussing something sensitive. Even if I am, I've made the conscious choice to do so in public for my own reasons. I don't need or want to be protected from that, and that's actually usually contrary to my actual wants.

Again, this isn't aimed at anyone in particular, but over the years I have noticed a tendency of people to unintentionally infantilize survivors, for example, who are willing to be forthcoming about not just their experiences but their reactions and feelings about various fandom behaviors towards and around survivors, and its actually not helpful when people choose not to reblog those posts if they're only doing so because they feel like they're trying to protect OP from backlash......we know we're going to get backlash. By the time we're making those posts, we've already gotten more backlash than you'll ever see, via tags on our posts or messages in our inboxes or vagueblogs from people that until the actual vagueblog we thought were mutuals we could trust.

We're usually making posts in SPITE of that, because like....we feel its worth it. As I said before, I personally don't have any expectations with any specific post I make ever, but I do make the posts I make with at least the HOPE that it might get people to think about something in ways they haven't before, or consider my POV or the possibility that my POV on a subject isn't actually what they thought or assumed it would be.

If something I post resonates with you, then respond to it or reblog it because it resonates with you or you feel like passing it along or whatever. That's literally all I ask with posts I make. I like to be very straightforward about what I'm thinking or want to say, because tumblr is an opt-in system and I trust people who follow me to make their own decisions about whether my content is worth following me for or not, at any given point. Trust me to make my own decision about whether I want to post certain content or not at any given point, and just make your decision about how to interact with it.

I think people have a mistaken impression about this based on how I've ranted about the whole Dont Like/Dont Read concept in the past. I'm going to reblog an old post that clarifies why I see that as something very different from this, that I'm genuinely not sure if most people ever saw or read, because I do know a lot of people follow me in spite of my stances on certain topics and don't actually....read everything I write on them, lol.

But my issue with the concept of Dont Like/Dont Read has never been in thinking that there's no merit in curating your own experience on tumblr or social media in general, or that people aren't responsible for making their own choices in regards to what they post and what they reblog and who they follow, its more complicated than that. Most of my thoughts on these matters are, which is why I object so much to them usually being boiled down according to most peoples' pre-existing default assumptions on them.

(Also, there's another post I've been meaning to get around to making about another drawback of Dont Like/Dont Read that most people never think about....the fact that many csa/rape/abuse/incest survivors WANT to find community and share tips or discuss recovery or things like that, but absolutely categorically CANT because of how much csa/rape/abuse/incest fics have taken over the tagging on tumblr, AO3 and pretty much every other site to use something similar....and with people always defensively jumping to "well you only have yourself to blame for exposing yourself to this content instead of just avoiding those tags"......it flies completely over most peoples' heads that via your assumption that the only reason people WOULD go in search of tags like "incest cw" or "rape tw" is because they're seeking out fics or headcanons about those things....you've completely discounted how many people want to talk about these things or share thoughts/experiences about them as a TOPIC, to better inform themselves or others, etc.

But we can't. Because any actual informative posts or content aimed at sharing tips, experiences, perspectives....are completely lost within the far larger sea of dark fics about these topics that we apparently, are not supposed to be looking at or even acknowledging for 'our own good' - even if they were never the reason we ventured into a particular tag in the first place. And so, an inevitable end result of this is we're further boxed out of actual generative/productive topics about OUR OWN FUCKING EXPERIENCES and the things that our perspectives are MOST FUCKING RELEVANT TO....unless we fall under the heading of survivors who are 'allowed' in most peoples' eyes to be looking at dark fic because we've already expressed that we're fine with that or have no notes or use it to cope or whatever.

But again, its not like survivors are a monolith or whatever.....just interesting that despite that, only one of two specific reactions seems to be generally accepted from us. Either survivors are fine with anything and everything said on these topics or about them, or we're expected to stay far away from them for 'our own good' and leave them to the sophisticated or undamaged individuals capable of handling them without any complaint or criticism whatsoever.)

Okay so went on a bit of a tangent there, but like I said, that one's been bugging at me for a long time. Stop infantilizing us in the name of protecting us from stuff we never asked to be protected from because any possibility of that went out the window the second it happened, especially when we have no choice but to live in the same rape/abuse culture obsessed society as anyone else. Do us the courtesy of just listening to what we are ACTUALLY saying and what we are ACTUALLY asking for, if we're actually asking for something at all, rather than just saying....here is a thing that I have a right to feel about this topic and I am saying it as is my right just as much as anyone else has the undisputed right to write literally anything about this subject whatsoever, no matter how dark or exploitative or inaccurate, etc.

[gerrydefault]

your post has wrong information. the algerian boxer was in the 2020 olympics, but lost in the quarter-finals. so did the italian boxer and she lost in the first round. italian boxer lost now because she gave up after 49 seconds. if you can’t handle getting punches, don’t be a fucking boxer.

even the IOC came and defended her saying she is eligiable to compete.

andrey rublev is pos, nobody asked his opinion and he clearly didn’t know about the situation what he was talking about. also trying to play moral cards now while being best friends with abusers and not talking about literally abusers being in the olympics. there is a child rapist. zambia’s coach is under investigation for sexual misconduct of the zambia’s players. just because rublev has sisters or nieces doesn’t mean anything. if anything, he wouldn’t be friends with abusers.

hi! I just posted another anon ask about the topic from the first part however I see the opportunity to call out Carini so I will take it, Carini as far as my understanding goes is a Meloni supporter now Giorgia Meloni is the prime minister of italy known to be anti lgbtq+, christian and a mother(there is a meme going around the net) Carini is just fucking stupid and a bigot herself with literally two punches she called out because she just didn’t had the intention to fight back she didn’t even tried and went out of the ring without even “daring” to look khafil in the eyes as if she wanted to play the scared victim and there is only one reason for that: she is just a racist prick and that’s the end of the conversation.

speaking about rublo, people in general are entitled to have their opinion on things and to share them either if we like them or not (this is also something I uncovered in the last anon if you are interested into knowing my pov)

I am unfortunately aware about the situation at the olympics and as always time can pass by but disparity and sexism will remain which is mostly the reason why I was considering not to watch olympics anymore to be fair..however

I feel the need to clarify something as soon as possible maybe that part wasn’t clear enough but in no way shape or form I think that andrey just because he has nice and sisters that he is a sort of feminist, if this is what you earn from my writing please let me rephrase that

my whole point was :

considering his upbringing surrounded by women at least a inch of respect for females has to be in his mind, psychologically speaking a person tend to respect the person/people who he grown up with(to be more specific the first thing a human being notice of one another is the sexual gender, now if the kid grows up surrounded by women establishing good relations with them automatically he will have the tendency to respect that authority even outside his childhood and the family sphere)

(another example if the kid X has a good relationship with his father and his father beats his mother, kid X will think beating women is something socially acceptable and that women are weak ecc)

also I have another thing to say zverev is one of probably many abusers in the world of tennis, I would love for everybody to keep that in mind, I already said how wrong he is for not stepping up and calling out zverev but I always cover that specific in another anon.

[knickynoo]

So because at the end of the bttf telltale game, marty is surprised to find out that trixie is his grandmother, I'm assuming that he has never met her/didn't know that she was a musician.

What do you think would have changed if, in the lone pine time line she had been around and helped raise marty? Do you think the pinheads would have been more succsesful? Do you think that because Marty had someone encouraging from early on, he wouldn’t have build up a friendship with doc?

Hello, anon! You sent me this weeks ago; I apologize for not getting to it sooner. Also, I got your other ask that clarifies you meant "Twin Pines".

My memory of the Telltale game is super rusty, and I remember very little of the Trixie/Sylvia plotline. I do remember Marty being surprised that Trixie IS Sylvia, though! I assumed maybe he just hadn't seen any photos of his grandmother when she was that young? Or yeah, her being a singer became a big family secret that she hid for some reason.

I know that the novelization of the movie mentions her at one point when Marty is contemplating going into George's house. He decides against it because he's evidently very close with Grandma Sylvia and fears their connection is strong enough that even in 1955, she would somehow "sense" who he is, and it would scare her.

Of course, the movie itself makes no mention of her either way, but the idea of Twin Pines Marty having his grandmother be such a facet in his life is an intriguing one. So let's visit that world, shall we?

Grandma Sylvia helping to raise Marty in the original timeline. Hmm. That's especially interesting when considering how she would handle the influence of her son and her husband (who we know, in the world of the novel/movie is exactly like George). If she's anything like the Sylvia we met in the video game, she'd definitely intervene/try to mitigate George's tendency to be discouraging and give lousy advice. She'd be the one overhearing a father/son conversation and then pulling Marty aside and being like, "Don't listen to your dad. You go for that audition, Marty."

If she remained as musically inclined in her older age as she was in her younger one, I could see the Pinheads having more success, or at least that Marty wouldn't stay bummed out over a failure for as long. He'd run to her with his tales of woe, receive an immediate pep talk, and get that boost he needed to try again.

I'd like to say that his closeness with his grandmother wouldn't impact his friendship with Doc all that much. Sylvia would likely fill more of that nurturing, motherly role Marty would need, and be his source of encouragement music-wise, but he'd still need that male role model and just generally want a buddy he could hang out with. Because when it came down to it, spending time with your grandma--no matter how much you love her--can't compete in the same way as the local scientist who lets you assist in crazy science experiments and is always down for a nutritious dinner of burgers and fries. Marty would still be just as close to Doc.

In fact, I could see Marty feeling free to talk about Doc with his grandmother without fear of judgement or disapproval. I always imagined Twin Pines George and Lorraine as being less than thrilled about their son's friendship with the purported "dangerous" scientist and headcanon that Marty doesn't mention Doc a lot or even hides the fact that he's spending so much time with him. I think Sylvia would be more understanding, though. Not feed into the town rumors about Doc. Marty would probably even take her over to meet him, and she'd be happy that her grandson had found such a wonderful mentor and was getting to learn so much about science.

Now I'm sort of invested in this concept and kind of what to write a fic about it or something. Young Twin Pines Marty running away from home and fleeing to the safety of Grandma Sylvia--one of the only people who understands him. It'd especially be interesting to explore how Grandma Sylvia feels about Lorraine's drinking and the influence it has on her grandkids.

���

Thanks for the ask!

[sansloii]

Meta + enemy (Andris)

Andris isn't someone that typically likes to make enemies, especially in the workplace. He has some bite to him but if he's being perfectly honest with himself, biting is a hassle and it can potentially lead to a lot more trouble than he's willing to deal with at a given moemnt. That, and the man is a people pleaser.... so the first instinct, for him, isn't to.... show anyone who's boss or anything like that ( because people should know that much already ). It's to make himself likeable — it's to shmooze and maybe be a bit of a kiss ass if he feels like sweetening the interaction a little more. of course, it's not like... people aren't able to see right through Andris, because those tendencies are amplified when he knows it's going to benefit him and that he's going to get something out of it. it's not overly done or saturated with fake kindness or a "customer service" act ( thought, he'll call it that ) — it's him being personable. It's him being relatable. It's him dressing down a little bit and, you know... pretending that in that moment, he isn't just doing it to make you soften up a lil bit and be a little bit more open to talking with him.

now that said, we're under no impression here that Andy's lil facade is impenetrable. it's not easy to tell when on/off but if you've got like... a seasoned bullshit detector, you should be able to tell when Andris is on/off day-to-day or at least have some idea. And you'll realize how much Andris is "on" when he's interacting with others...even with people that he gets along with ( at work and sometimes... not at work ). *That's* what usually makes people side-eye him and that constant knowledge — that constant awareness that Mr.Jansone--is just....putting this carefully curated, only slightly flawed first foot forward and nothing else :)

now... this isn't enough to make enemies out of someone and andris usually is pretty good about minimally engaging with people that *know* he's like this and will probably give him shit for it ( for example, Joseph — although Joseph is just very judgemental and doesn't really say anything ). where that rears its ugly head is Andris' penchant for being condescending and using rhetoric that intentionally can piss people off. to illustrate this easier, we're going to also use dakota's manner of being condescending because they approach it in two different ways. say we have someone who... they feel is saying things that are untrue about some sort of deal or contract or prior discussion during a meeting. it's clear that both sides are in a little bit of a disagreement of what the actual truth is and thus, we have this dilemma.

first we have dakota.

she will say something to the effect of "Actually, what we discusssed and what you're saying now are two different things. I'm not sure where your version of events are coming from but it's clear that you need something clarified for you. Isn't that right?"

next is andris. he will respond with something to the effect of "I don't recall that being apart of our previous discussions and it seems we're on two, vastly different pages. If you'd like, I'm more than willing to go over the facts of your situation with you so no one here is confused about where you stand."

dakota is very direct and speaking in general plain terms. she's not pleased, the recalled event is wrong, and she will clarify it for them. andris is still direct but the tone of his words is softer and said person must be confused, must need his "help" to fully understand things, needs him to be but a humble person guiding them... despite the fact that in both cases, they are calling the other person incompetent at best. it's that type of terminology that really needles its way under some people's skin and given that Andris has to do that anyway with his subordinates, he just keeps it on if you just so happen to be someone he really doesn't like and can probably get away with talking as such to. like dakota, he talks down to people. and, for someone in his position, that can earn him a bit of a reputation.

@royaletiquette | send META + a word, name, or phrase for a headcanon

[a-beautiful-crow]

hi! may i ask for some advice on something? how does one speak up for one’s self when they feel like they’re terribly rotting inside due to severe suppressed anger by tolerating someone’s flaws/weaknesses/behavior for years? you see, that’s what’s happening with me right now with a relative to whom i’m very much irritated with. i think my anger towards him have been so much to the point i get agitated whenever i see him or even hear his name. how do i overcome this? they say to always forgive but it’s so difficult when i’m seeing a pattern all over again. any advice would be of help.

I’m so sorry that you’re caught in this situation (and that I’m responding so late). I’ve read a lot about anger, resentment, and forgiveness. I hope that I was clear in all of this and that what I’m going to say will help you in some way. 

So, there is a tendency that people involved in religion have (including myself) to tolerate people’s behavior rather than confront or set up boundaries. It’s really important to know that tolerating someone’s behavior is not good. Setting boundaries in any relationship is healthy, it helps you achieve sanctity, and it feels much better than putting up with behavior you don’t like. 

Tolerating things builds up negative emotions within you. It piles up until it becomes harder to control. Then, your emotions start to influence and take control of your actions. Spiritually, that’s incredibly bad for you! One of the most important lessons you will ever learn about conquering sin is that you have to have complete control of your body, i.e your actions, words, etc. It’s very difficult to control your actions under repetitive intense emotions. Establishing boundaries and forgiving someone is meant to help you spiritually and emotionally.

You don't need to set boundaries to forgive someone, but it helps a lot. People always talk about forgiveness but I don’t think they truly understand what forgiveness is. Forgiveness means to let go of the negative emotions and thoughts associated with a person. It’s hard to do that, and that’s okay. Forgiveness is a skill that even though it’s necessary, it’s also difficult to master and it takes patience. 

It’s also important to note that getting angry in some situations isn’t bad. It’s also not always a sin. If you express your anger and control it correctly, it’s good. It’s hard to do, but it’s good for you. It helps clarify what is wrong and addresses the issue, it can help you solve the problem and seek justice, and once someone asks for your forgiveness, your heart will be at rest. 

There’s a few things that help me with forgiveness and at expressing my anger well. I’ll list them in a way that I think that if you follow them in that order, it’ll be easier for you.

Give yourself space. Get out of the room that the person who is causing you to feel angry is in. 

Let yourself feel your emotions and sort them out. Ask yourself questions like What bothers me? Why? Can he change that? How do I ask him to do that? 

Remember that it's not ridiculous or unreasonable to establish any kind of boundary. If it’s causing a problem, it is serious. 

Once you’ve calmed down and you know what you’re going to say (for me I usually say stuff like “dude I didn’t want to say anything but it bothers me a lot when you ______. Please stop/don't do it anymore” the point is to be calm and concise. Some people ask why and that’s okay but you don’t have to answer. I don’t lol)

If someone decides to be mean about it, then express how you feel. “I want to be around you but it’s hard because you always do _____” “I just want to get along” and remember you can always leave if someone is hurting you. I hope it doesn’t get to that point, but there’s no shame in doing so. 

After all of this happens it’ll probably be easier to forgive someone. Because you’ve either solved the problem or you know that everything on your end is resolved. Something that I do that helps me forgive someone even though they aren’t sorry is to think to myself “If I had done that to someone, I’d want that person to forgive me. Sometimes I’m stubborn and it takes time for me to regret what I do. I want to be a person that can forgive someone as stubborn as me”. 

There’s a lesson in every negative experience and situation. I am confident that the next time you start to see a similar problem like this in the future, that you’ll notice it in the beginning and calmly state your boundaries before anything starts to escalate. I hope this whole thing gets better for you and I'll be praying for you!