#I genuinely introduced myself only yesterday

[aboxthecolourofheartache]

Today I learned that I can still hop a six foot chainlink fence if I need to, granted sufficient emergency.

[ratioaven]

spoilers for 2.1 !!!!!!!

aventurine rant, please keep in my mind that these are my own thoughts and interpretations. im extremely sleep deprived lol so im sorry if i got anything wrong

something thats been on my mind since yesterday are these lines.

from the start to me, it was very clear aventurine had self esteem/worth issues because of how he treats his own life, but the line that says “the other hand is below the table, clutching your chips for dear life” stuck out to me.

i always assumed aventurine was so incredibly confident in his luck but in reality he is afraid. he’s terrified that he’ll lose. it’s an act. he convinces himself, he fools himself, he forces himself to act like he’s confident he’ll win, when in reality even if he does win, he’s still clutching his chips under the table for dear life because of how terrified he is of losing.

that really messed with me to be honest. i feel tricked and what’s ironic is that he tricks his opponents into thinking he’s confident, and he also tricked ME the player but really, this made my heart break in two because i had absolutely no clue up until now.

so why does he act this way

all throughout his life, aventurine has had his pride stripped away. just try to imagine being in his shoes. i myself do not think i could deal with the situations he was put in. i cannot stress this enough, aventurine has a mark on his neck that screams to him that he has once belonged to someone. he has had his pride stripped away from him countless times. but it’s ironic because aventurine is introduced as a very prideful and flashy man. you start to realize the front aventurine puts on is his own way of protecting himself. it’s how he’s able to live basically. i wanna go into more detail but i will later.

as it was said before, aventurine is an uptight person who worries. he is extremely afraid of losing and he has a massive inferiority complex. aventurine may seem like a go lucky person on the outside, but in actuality he is not. he is not happy. he has no self worth, he believes he has nothing to live for, and he has no problem with throwing his life away. aventurine believes the only good thing he brings to the table is his luck.

but this brings me to my next point.

aventurine may not realize it, but he is so much more than his luck. he has so many good qualities and he doesn’t seem to realize it. even if some of it may be an act, he’s still able to pull it off. he’s still an intelligent business man who is both charming and cunning EVEN if it may be an act, those are still amazing qualities to have in his line of work.

but more importantly, aventurine chose to live. despite witnessing his family die, being a slave, and tortured, he chose to live. he chooses to. i cannot stress this enough. this man has gone through hell and back. he truly has had an incredibly difficult life to the point where my heart hurts so so badly for him. he made the decision to stay alive.

that says more than enough about his character.

and last but not least, aventurine wants one thing, and that is to be with his family. he’s witnessed horrible things in his life that no one should ever go through. he lost everyone close to him, he lost his people. he has nothing to live for and he values his life so little to the point where he has no problem with dying. the only real thing that he wants is just to see his family.

and he will one day, but in the meantime, i genuinely hope this man can find a reason to live, and ratio already gave him one just by that note. i just truly wish aventurine happiness while he lives the rest of his life.

i guess this is a topic that really hits me hard because i know all too well that choosing to live life isn’t easy sometimes and i just love aventurine.

let’s all appreciate how truly amazing his character is.

[takenbypeter]

Hey! Jumped on the Wonka train since yesterday and had two thumbs up! Can I request a Wonka x single mom reader where during the course of the movie they’ve built up a bit of a flirtation/relationship and he bonds with her kid (s) bc of course they love the magician with chocolate who makes their mama smile. Specifically I’m looking for like a scene towards the end of the movie or post-canon where he expresses interest in adopting her kid (or kids) and of course marriage so they can all be one real happy family together. Sorry if that description’s a lot

Beginnings of a New Dream

Willy Wonka x reader

Words: 1780

Ahhh this one is so bad 🙈 I tried with this one but honestly I hate it, Idk I think it's cause I can't relate to parent fics so I just suck at them but still I wanna thank you for requesting

“Where is he?” You said to yourself, as you turned around in search of the young child. You’ve left him alone only for one second and now, poof, he’s nowhere in sight. 

Your eyes scanned your surroundings quickly until it spotted a familiar tiny figure standing upright among the white snow and you wasted no time to catch up. 

“There you are,” you breathed out, worried tone evident in your voice, “I told you to stay put,” you reminded, before noticing the stranger who was with him. 

The unknown man was wearing a tattered overcoat, along with a worn out top hat. His outfit was very…unusual, to say the least. And he was quite handsome.

But what concerned you the most, was his outstretched hand which held a small piece of wrapped candy. 

You glanced at your son who was already chewing on what you could assume was a different piece, then back at the stranger who instantly understands how bad this looks. 

“I’m sorry, I haven’t properly introduced myself. My name is Willy Wonka and I’m a chocolatier hoping to open my own shop very soon.”

“Mommy he can do magic!” Shouted your son.

“Oh he can now, can he?”

Willy Wonka. You’ve heard that name around town a few times, but this is the first you’ve seen of the man. 

He held out a hand to which you firmly shook, “well Willy Wonka, surely you, being a stranger and all, understand why I find it odd you’re giving candy to my son, knowing how dangerous it is for children to talk to, no less take candy from a stranger.”

“Ahem,” he let out an awkward cough as he retracted his hand. “I do apologize. It wasn’t my intention to cause fret. The little guy looked lost so my only intent was to keep him safe and occupied, honest.”

You squinted slightly unsure of the man. He stood arms up and opened in an innocent manner. His eyes were big with his thick eyebrows angled upwards at the middle before curving down. He did seem to be of no harm, and he did keep your son safe. 

You let out a relaxed sigh, “it’s alright, it’s my fault anyway, I should’ve kept an eye on my son. Thank you for keeping him safe.”

Wonka’s shoulders dropped and his facial muscles relaxed at your pardon. 

You reached down holding your child close, “we’ll leave you be. Thanks again.” 

“Wait,” his voice rang out, catching you before you departed. “Would you like to try a piece?” He held out the same small piece of chocolate from earlier in his palm upwards towards you. 

You’re just about ready to decline the offer but again he speaks out, “it would really be helpful to have a mature opinion on this chocolate.”

You nodded caving in because honestly, who were you to deny free chocolate, your mind thought showing you to be just as gullible as a child. Taking the sweet treat, you pop it past your lips.

 Immediately a rich flavor overtakes your mouth and as you bite into it, a milky chocolate filling spreads around. 

It was quite good. 

“Mmm,” you nodded towards the man, “oh you are going to go far with this chocolate Mr.Wonka.”

“Thank you. Your words mean much to me,” he said genuinely, and you let out a chuckle, “you’re welcome Mr.Wonka,” you say, as you turn around, hand in hand with your son.

Willy watches you fade from view with a prominent smile on his lips, because although he knew his business would do well, with the justification of your words he felt he was on the right path. 

And honestly he hoped to meet you on this path again. 

Days passed until you met the self proclaimed chocolatier again. 

You had been traveling, hand clasped with your sons, when you spotted Mr.Wonka’s pop up store in the center of town. Initially wanting to pass the store along with the small crowd surrounding it, your plans are thwarted when your son pulls you towards it.

“It’s Mr.Wonka!” Shouted your son as he pointed towards the herd, “alright, alright we’ll just stop by.” He runs, his little feet taking him as fast as he can while dragging your body along.

“Mr.Wonka! Mr.Wonka!” Shouts your son as he rushes to the front with you following close behind. 

Willy’s eyes widened in recognition, “well hey there, little guy, back so soon?” He asks, prompting your son.

You watch, looking on as the chocolatier chats with your child. They go back and forth creating small talk, before Wonka pulls out one tiny piece of chocolate, He waves his hands around and the crowd watches as he turns one piece into two right in front of their eyes. 

“Woah, do it again!” Clapped your boy in amazement, and truthfully you felt the same way. 

He performs the trick once more and again your son laughs as Wonka gives him one of the pieces before turning to you and handing you the other piece. 

“You are surprisingly well with children.”

He shrugs, at the comment, “it helps when you have such a sweet child…who has such a pleasant mother.”

He tips his hat while all you can do is chuckle trying not to look too moved by the man’s remark. 

“Thank you Mr.Wonka.”

“Please, call me Willy,” he adds and you nod while he returns his attention to other customers.

That Willy Wonka, what a charmer he was.

The week goes by before you run into the young man again, however, this time you were alone. 

“Willy!” You announced, trying not to sound too excited when you saw the chocolatier, who was walking along the street with a young lady. (You soon learned her name to be Noodle.)

You exchange greetings while Noodle makes her exit leaving you be. 

“What are you doing all alone? Where is the little one?” He asks, glancing around. “Oh I had to run some errands today so I had a friend watch him for me.”

Willy shares a soft smile, “he really is a brilliant kid, with a brilliant mother of course.”

“You flatter me Mr.Wonka.”

“Willy,” he reminds.

“Willy,” you repeat, sharing a look together before he blinks readjusting his focus. 

“Oh!” His eyes enlarge as he reaches behind him into his battered briefcase, “I had something made for the little guy, and for, ahem, the mister back home,” he holds out a small jar of candies to which you take grateful. 

“Please, there’s nothing of the sort, just me and the kiddo.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s alright. It’s been that way for a while, it’s sort of the only way we know.” 

Willy shares a look with you, one unlike the look of pity most give when they hear your story, it was more of admiration? Respect? Either way, you thank him for thinking of you and as you do so, you hear a siren noise nearing before the chief of police arrives. 

He steps out of his vehicle and Willy turns to you, “I think you should go. Now. I’ll talk to you soon,” he says and you nod in understanding leaving the scene as the chief of police nears. 

That’s how your time gets spent whenever you spot the man; your son talks with him, you talk with him, Willy performs a magic trick. You try to buy some candy, Willy refuses and instead gives it to you for free and then you’re on your way. 

“Willy! Willy! Look, my tooth is missing!” Your son yelled running up to Willy. 

“Oh wow, that is outstanding! But you know what I heard?” Willy lowers himself to your son’s level, hushing his voice. 

“I heard this year, the tooth fairy started leaving candy underneath the pillows, for all the good boys and girls.”

“Really?!”

Willy looks up in your direction shooting you a quick wink. 

“Really.”

Your son turns to you with a smile from ear to ear present on his face as you nod confirming his curiosities. 

Mirroring his grin you watch on as Willy and your son continue in conversation. You’ve grown to the sight of them both, chatting and laughing. It was a very lovable sight. 

 That’s how it went, your meetings together.

And with each meeting you found yourself drawing closer and closer to the man, staying longer and longer on your visits.

The last time you saw Willy was at his opening for the factory, when everything went south. People rioted and burned his shop down and in the craziness you grabbed your son and ran putting his safety first. 

After that you didn’t hear from Willy. 

That is until today. You weren’t there when all the mess went down. When Willy and his team practically outsmarted the Chocolate Cartel, having them arrested. 

But you made sure to be there for Willy Wonka’s new opening of his shop. 

You stood in the crowd, your hand clutching your sons as the people gathered around trying the various sweets and treats. 

Walking around taking in all the beautiful colors and lights you stop at a wall full of jellybeans and gumdrops. And giving your son permission to collect some, you stand a short distance keeping an eye on him. 

“You made it,” said a voice as a figure emerged beside you. You smiled at Willy who was positioned just as you were towards the colorful wall. 

“Of course I did. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

You watch for a moment as your son collects snacks, putting them into a bag that was provided. You were so occupied with him that you hadn't realized Willy was holding out one of his own creations for you.

“A chocolate flower for the lady.”

“It doesn’t have any yeti sweat does it?” You asked, eyebrow raised. You were lucky enough that you hadn’t managed to eat any of the poisoned chocolate last time.

“No, no yeti sweat.”

Beaming you take it and happily munch on it. 

“So this place…is it everything you’ve dreamed of.”

He glances around taking it all in. The smiles on peoples faces, the way they’re in full enjoyment, but then his gaze returns to yours, “yes it is. But it’s strange.”

You tilt your head silently, allowing him to continue his thought as he turns his attention back to your son then you again. “I think…I think I have a new dream now.”

“Oh yeah? What’s your new dream?”

Willy’s eyes lock onto yours. 

There are no words shared between you two but somehow you seem to understand what he means.

[quill-of-thoth]

Due to a family game of telephone, my mom told me yesterday morning on the way to a family graduation that my cousin's in-laws' giant "service" dog is part wolf. Mom has always been kinda nervous around him, because he is the size of a small pony and extremely serious... and her mental picture of me is apparently of me at seven flinging myself bodily on every large dog I have the good fortune to see. In reality, this dog, who I see at baseball games sometimes, provides the "service" of obsessively guarding my cousin's mother-in-law. He assigned himself this job, and cannot be persuaded to stop. But it' genuinely helping the mother in-law, who is getting up there and starting to get frail. She got him the leash that says service dog before she recently got on oxygen, so people would stop asking to pet him because he's an abused rescue with a mouth large enough to do serious damage. And because he looks mostly like a german shepherd (size holy fucking direwolf,) and people are stupid. He also prevents crowds from knocking her over with her oxygen tank and cane, by dint of clearing a two to four foot wide halo around her with his glare. They're training him to fetch another human if she takes a fall, or at least trying to. It isn't going well, because he has an objection to leaving her unguarded. He will politely ignore other dogs, all preteen children, and the vast majority of women. Men are considered acceptable if they act calm and introduce themselves properly. Since I am no longer seven, my relationship with this extra large canine is that he arrives at an event, makes a growly little grumble at me to remind me that he is a bodyguard and I better remember it, then smells my hand and lets me pet him as long as he can keep an eye on his principal. You can bury your hand up to the wrist in his fur if he has decided you are an acceptable companion for his principal, so I did not necessarily question my mom's assertion that he was part wolf, because she said it came from a genetics test (so it could be a good few generations back) and also because after whatever trauma was in his previous life, someone hauled him to the animal shelter from fuck-nowheresville Wyoming. Where most people searching for a dog looked at him, staring at them, not wagging, and thought, like our prehistoric ancestors "If I'm gonna feed that thing, it's going to be strictly so he never gets hungry enough to bother trying to eat ME." My cousin's mother in law came in, in her bird-boned five nothing frame, and thought "he's perfect" and named him Panzer. Yes, she named him tank, but in German. (She also thought he was the Andre the giant of german shepherds.) Her husband looked at him walking out at her heel, and thought "it's been five minutes and that dog worships my wife and might be smarter than half my relatives" and gave in to the inevitable. Panzer treats him as the only acceptable substitute guardian for his principal, the queen of rescue dogs, which is the highest honor any man is gonna get from him. According to Panzer, her son and grandsons are mere servants of the queen. Trusted, but not sworn to her defense. Others (daughters in law, children, other old ladies with booze, assorted distant relatives) are allowed to petition the queen, with the strict understanding that bribing him with taco meat won't get him to change his vigil: He'll just take any bribe you're stupid enough to give him and get back to work. So at my cousin's kid's graduation party today, I sat on the stoop, nearly elbow deep in Panzer's ruff fur, thinking of gallusrostromegalus' wolfdog stories. I decided that Panzer's wolfy ancestor must be at least a couple generations back, and went back to chatting with the old ladies who were either gossiping, or heckling the teenage boys playing bags. One of my other cousins' kids barreled in, bearing a lizard for me to photograph, and Panzer inspected the lizard, found it harmless, and returned to his stoic watch. "Oh yeah," I said to the queen of rescue dogs, once I finished my duty as lizard paparazzo and the lizard was released from the red carpet, "My mom tells me you had a genetics test done on Panz. She said he was german shepherd and sheepdog and something else?" "Oh yes, he's German Shepherd, some kind of balkan sheepdog, and Czechloslovakian Wolfhound."

Needless to say, I teased my mother for confusing Wolfhound with Wolf dog half of the ride home. Before we left, Panzer reminded me that I should bring the queen food based tribute, and that he was her official food taster.

[humanmorph]

PALISADE 28.crazy good this week etc

New radio person for the intro...! This comes at a good moment. I still miss Baldwin Home like. That very first PALISADE intro is genuinely so hard to beat... but this feels good. I'm once again thinking about Austin writing these... The style used for Black Screens intros obviously shines through (she's his protégé) but she does have her own voice already (way more rhyming? I mean, I'd have to doublecheck HIS intros, it's literally just a feeling). Just the tone used and intonation already does a lot. Austin is so good at this fr. I'm still curious how he even approaches that. Also the "watch me unloose 80 Ls on these next lines" I knewwww that's 80 Ls for real as soon as Parti said illogical. I wonder if he wrote that bit first trying to see how many Ls he could fit in there & then finetuned it to get to a good number? I guess that's just how I would do it.

(who knows if we'll ever get a description for Parti. we never did for Black. maybe if she shows up in a conflict turn somehow? so im just fuckin around for now... i haven't sold myself on the clothes. i'm just not a fashion guy. but i do like the braids)

Oh & new guy alert part 2!!! New Keith character! And he has a funny hat. Not even funny as in goofy it just makes me laugh a bit because my dad and maybe every 5th 70+ y/o man I see has a hat like that. Love the sequin poncho.

(btw I am almost certain Keith has posted a picture of that teapot on Cohost before... He posts about tea sometimes so there's at least a chance. I mean the description of the coloring he gives is actually pretty good IMO, you can work with that, but I as an artist I like to have a visual reference. EDIT: someone just asked him. thank you keith and also rosecrest)

I have the. I got Armor Astir & a lot of the playbooks other people made in a bundle a while back and I'm real torn if I should just look at the Investigator because I'm really curious. But. I also love to be surprised. So I probably won't, but it's good to know I COULD, if I wanted to. Anyways, I was pretty sure it'd be another B-Plot character too, just because it makes sense. Brnine COULD go alone on a B-Plot, I guess, but it's more fun with 2 groups to jump between, surely. Though this means the Eclectic-Brnine dynamic is crucial! I hope they can meet up soon... But yeah I just really am gonna miss Phrygian backing them up and cheering and clapping and asking questions. They were so fun together... A great team :' (

ok so I wrote everything else about Eclectic down yesterday & then noted down "vibes?" as break between paragraphs because all I had at that point was the description & I wanted to get back to this. And ooohhh my god the vibes are fucking immaculate right off the bat I'm having a hard time to not Already be obsessed with this guy he's SO funny conceptually and it KEPT getting better... Truly delighted with this new type of guy (& Keith is doing a voice!). And I fucking love the hooks. Truly so great to me. The thought of these getting loosened OR deepened is already really really good. "Leap says"..... oh it's SO funny I keep laughing to myself

And I'm VERY excited it's a delegate like genuinely so happy. I was mourning the loss of a branched onscreen (okay.I still am) but this does make it worth it. Ever since they got introduced basically I so badly wanted to know anything more about them, but especially what Austin mentioned in the episode itself: the delegates relationships to the divines they are made from & of course the divines themselves (who are alive!!! Apparently that was already written in a dossier way back when, but I rarely read those). That has me sooo excited.

Oh and the like... I only thought about this just now but the connection there to Thisbe's new project is. That's gotta be something! "The divine who's being held captive somewhere on this planet, and has been tortured for millennia" hearing a message of... That this can end & rest is possible and it's SO CLOSE? But does that just make it worse... Ohhhhh. Yeah this rules. What a great idea.

That project generally is really... god, I love Thisbe so much. I love how Janine talks about her and what she thinks and why she does what she does. Thisbe's relationship to work and being a tool and of use is so interesting to put here, with the divines wanting to rest. (And Janine saying something like... Thisbe thinks of herself in relation to divines how Mow is to her? Kind of?) And saying it seems so solitary a project... every divine should know about it. Every divine deserves the right to rest. But it's also a call to action of sorts when she talks about like... "shouldn't you want to protect this?" I think her "Fighting is not my purpose, but there is nowhere else for me until the fighting is over." hook could be in conservation here too... Also I'm just looking forward for Thisbe to Broadcast again. It was like, one of her things in PARTIZAN. I really liked her & Cori working on this together with the. Experience they just had behind them. Sylvi & Janine reading the hooks for each others characters kind of sheepishly was soooo funny "I forgot how bitchy this was!". That's good stuff to me. (as an aside: god, Thisbe has always had good as hell hooks/beliefs/whatever else. Remember "Operant Broun lies to me because they believe I am a person."? Banger. ) I also love that she thought of this/about this at the rib(?) of Barricade. Barricade as an axiom who had this close (& good, protective) relationship with another axiom...

btw now that Leap is NOT coming back I do miss him a bit. Mostly out of principle like I am So happy we have Eclectic but Leap is my guy.... shoutout to him... being a bitch bastard pirate out there in space... + shoutout to Figure A too always : ) (speaking of, on the Gathering Information Extra bit from today he talked about if he had played Leap, picking a class that also had like, a crew, and I'm mostly just really curious who that would've been. I would love for Keith to make up some funny guys for Leap to order around. I wonder if Eclectic or an Eclectic type would've been on that?)

(Also Leap investigating Motion. Ok. To ME it's at least partly bc this was so important to Millie. And he has reason to be concerned generally he fought Motion too but. That's MILLIE'S rival! And it doesn't even have to be at the front of his mind when he does this. Maybe it isn't. But it's real & it's something to remember her by through actual action. Because he's not the sentimental type.Do you get me.?)

Brnine talk show. This was sooo good. After they joked about it in PAL25 too. I recognized the hosts name, but wasn't quite sure from where until I read the dossier - of course he's that guy from the podcast. God. I have got to relisten to that sometime... I remember Ali on one of the recent Gathering Information ep (the one w/ Austin on, I think) mentioning a conversation that was like. stressful to do. and then also to listen to? (since she has to for production/editing) and I figured it would be another Gucci-type talk but ooohh my god. This was sooo. EDIT: ACTUALLY what if it wasn't even. What if it's about to be this talk with Rye edit: GALLICA i cant believe noone called me on this. mixing my elects up. rye is the one gur killed (mvp). Austin was sounding a bit ominous about it at the end of this episode! HUGE shoutouts to Ali again she is just absolutely killing it this season for real... And I honestly feel like overall Brnine was, considering the situation, doing very well. Genuinely. You're feverish and hollowblooded and have this fucking. Guy needling you & asking the stupidest questions... & like. "You made Kalmeria. They'd never let you rot in jail." of courseeee they want Brnine working for them. They're so GOOD at what they do. They messed with the parts of A Fucking Divine. . I just had a scary thought and it involved Mustard Red. But. Surely not. Nooo. I'm shaking my head. However Arbitrage? An Arbitrage deal (like they tried to make them take before) would work just perfectly for this, wouldn't it...

some other stuff:

When Austin mentioned Grand Mag in that vision Cori had I thought something like 'man. sucks to be him : (' but like. In a genuine way. "I can't stop it from hurting people a little"........... Hah oh wow I just thought of this but I am so excited for people who haven't listened to TM to meet him now. He's not even my favourite he just makes me crazy in a way almost no other character does? Like there's something so WRONG with him. And there's things wrong with a lot of FatT characters but it's like... Well. Grand Magnificent.

I love the thought of them watching Brnines interview at the next movie night (POOR BRNINE.) but I also want to know what Eclectic would pick for movie night. Oh and Partial too. Though he may not be staying I would still really love to know. Partial coming on board for the mission has me intrigued generally.

Oh and Gur talking! Even if just a little. I still feel so bad for them. "I believe in whispers in ears"... and they have reason to now. Figure is a person trying their best to do good & make changes, which is what Gur wants. I just wish they weren't a specter haunting someone elses body & what even happens when Figure rolls a 10+. Is Gur still there and Figure just stops seeing him? oohh it hurts a bit.you can't do this to him you can't (related: I extremely forgot about the other specters and ghosts and ghouls and whatnot that Figure can also see. It's not just my friend Gur Sevraq. Looking forward to hear more about that & how it affects Figure so much as to roll with disadvantage!)

Love to learn just a little more about devotion. I really need to just relisten to that again & think about it a bit harder.

At one point Austin says "Still flanked by guards, you are" and it caught me off guard & made me wheeze. He didn't even do that on purpose . I get him I do this way too often(realize I forgot to say part of a sentence and pack it at the end)

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

first love // homesick

🎶 Homesick by Dayseeker

(AU) Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] ngl this took me a while to finish writing but here we go day one of the trip just chilling for now but who knows what will happen next?

[warnings?] a dose of angst and self doubt of course

first love masterlist here!

The thought of eating breakfast with your best friend’s girlfriend made you downright nauseous, the nerves bubbling away in your stomach as you waited for the pair to join the rest of you. The jet lag had long kicked in resulting in an awful night’s sleep and it certainly didn't help that the little sleep you’d managed to get, was plagued with images of Steve and his girlfriend living the life you’d only imagined of. 

You knew you were being slightly overdramatic after all, its not like they were getting married anytime soon but that didn’t make you feel any better. This was Steve your soulmate, not just some random guy you’d just met and if anything it made it all the worse that you’d known him as long as you had because if it was some random guy maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much. Steve was your universe, the world made sense with him in it, he was the light in the dark dingy town that held you captive, he was your escape and in return you were his.

“Screw waiting for them, that blueberry muffin has been calling my name for twenty minutes already and if I don’t eat it within the next ten seconds I will force Harrington to pay for my therapy for the rest of the year.” Breaking you free from your thoughts Eddie continued rambling on about how Steve was lucky he’d even waited this long before giving into his impulsive nature. Hungry and grumpy both you and Robin followed his lead wanting to make the most of the array of foods that lay in front of you. 

Settling down into your seats once again you tucked, in catching up with each other and enjoying the time together. Eddie was filling you in on the new songs he was working on and how the rest of the band was, it was probably the most fun you’d had in a while, that was until you saw your favourite person all loved up and flushed approaching the table hand in hand with her. You couldn’t deny she looked beautiful even in a simple hoodie and jeans, hair tied back neatly not a single hair out of place, it was clear why Steve liked her, and not you. All the while you sat bare faced, messy hair and no real effort made, stuffing your face with pastries eyes wide and almost choking at the stark difference between you both. 

Sadly it made sense

“Sorry guys we lost track of time.”  Steve spoke casually pulling out her chair for her before sitting down himself, the adoration shining in his eyes as he gleefully introduced you all properly, with the words best friend rolling of his tongue like poison as he finally turned his attention towards you. 

Quickly gulping some lukewarm coffee down and wiping your face for stray crumbs you painfully smiled, turning towards Becky before reintroducing yourself. “Hi, I’m so sorry about yesterday. I’m a bit of a nervous flyer which is why I couldn’t properly introduce myself.” The lying was too easy especially to someone who knew all your key tells but you had no other choice, genuinely wanting to try and get along with Becky if not for Steve but for your own sanity. After all she seemed nice enough and maybe just maybe she was what Steve needed, he deserved someone who would love him and care for him like his parents never did and if she could be that person then you would have to live with it. 

“It’s no problem, i’m glad your feeling better.” Pearly white teeth flashing you a smile as she waved off your apology with the flick of her wrist. “Stevie can we go get some food now?” 

Stevie? The nickname you’d been calling him for decades, that used to give you butterflies, now made your blood run cold. Her high pitched whiny voice ringing in your ears as she claimed one of your exceptions. Steve used to hate being called Stevie, constantly complaining during his teens whenever his parents would call him that. Knowing that with the nickname came a price, usually in the form of bribes or threats, his father using it as a way to manipulate and take advantage of his people pleasing nature. 

You still remember the night he’d finally confided in you exactly why he hated that nickname so much. The faint buzz of insects in the long grass and the warm summer nights breeze grazing your exposed skin, the party inside had died down long ago with just a group of your closest friends scattered around the large but lonely Harrington home. You’d followed Steve outside after watching him get into yet another fight with his then girlfriend, sitting in a comfortable silence while you waited for him to tell you what was weighing on his mind.

Sighing heavily and running a hand through his unusually untamed hair before turning to you, the fear evident on his face before he dissipating as he began to speak.“When I was little I didn’t know any better than to listen to my parents every request, no matter how much I didn’t want to do it. All I wanted was for them to give me attention, to give me a sign that they cared, even just a little bit and when they called me that it made me feel like I belonged, like I was loved.” 

You could tell how much it hurt for him to talk about it, the break in his voice and watery eyes clear as day. Resting a hand on his to encourage him to continue and moving ever so slightly closer before he carried on. “I didn’t realise it till I was older that they only called me Stevie when they wanted something from me, for me to follow through their every whim like a simple pawn in their game of happy families. To act like I was one of them and not some stranger living under their roof.”

If the situation wasn’t so heartbreaking you would’ve laughed, not because of the reason behind his pain but because thats the nickname most people associate with the name Steve. And to avoid it for so long almost easily seemed like a miracle. You didn’t even realise how lucky you’d been to be able to refer to him as Stevie, never questioning why or how no-one else called him that.

“She broke up with me for good this time.” He laughed, confusing you even more. “All because of a stupid nickname.” He didn’t seem upset, if anything he looked happier than he had earlier, his brow no longer furrowed and frown frozen upon his face. 

“I-I don’t understand.” You didn’t want to come across as insensitive but a part of you was curious why he would let you call him a name thats haunted him for years. A name that held such pain and negativity behind it, that if you were in his place you wouldn’t want to have to hear ever again. 

“You were the first person to show me what it means to be loved. To show me that I am more than just a chess piece in someone else’s game. That there are no strings attached when you call me it other than to show me that you love me for me.” Stunned to silence and letting his words sink in, not sure what to say to such confession.

 Perhaps that was when you first realised how deeply you felt for him, or that was just one of the many other things to add to the growing pile of suppressed feelings that would finally cause you to crack under pressure just years later. Either way didn’t matter because it was inevitable that sooner or later the lines between friendship and love would blur into one, destroying one or both of you in the process. 

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

[a/n] Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and encouraged!

other works available here!

taglist: @freezaz123

[thegeminisage]

for posterity (and so i can close the tab), i'm posting screenshots of the private skip/watch list i made for friends only - since i was too big of a dummy and didn't liveblog my initial tos watchthrough, to my ETERNAL FUCKING WOE, this is as close as i'm ever getting. sad! DISCLAIMER that i disagree with my past self on some of the skip/watch verdicts so please use the official spreadsheet (still a wip) as a guide if you're looking for that kind of thing.

of note from this first screencap: dagger of the mind, which i continue to feel normal about for no particular reason and definitely not relating to a movie with a brainwashing chair that came out in 2014. the corbomite manuever, which i dismissed at first and then came around to liking better later because of the little character moments. conscience of the king, which was actually the first trek episode i ever watched before i went back and did them all in official order (mistake, production order is better) and which of course got me into this mess. squire of gothos, which has this scene that inspired this fanfic. don't text.

it's also worth mentioning that i had to watch not one not two but THREE bad to mid episodes before i hit naked time and enemy within and then they put me right back in it with mudd's women. if i hadn't already seen conscience of the king and knew what was up i would have fucking quit. and that's why production order is superior

of note for this batch: the city on the edge of forever, in which a lot of important stuff happened, but also spock wore a little hat. catspaw, which is the first time i had an inkling of the idea that would later spawn this powerpoint (this is what "giving john crichton" means ifykyk). mirror mirror, which i didn't get until like a week later and then went insane over. metamorphosis, which made me so frothing mad it's unreal.

of note here: the immunity syndrome, which i have rewatched 60000 times for the spones. return to tomorrow, during which my eyes were dinnerplates start to finish. by any other name, which truly had so much going on including what i know in my heart was a tarsus iv reference. bread and circuses, which did indeed make me blush when bones pushed spock against the wall and spock went "really doctor?" i still can't think about it.

of note: the enterprise incident, which again caused mental illness related to the previously linked powerpoint. the paradise syndrome, which was the only amnesia episode, the first time kirk and spock mindmelded on screen, and so utterly fucking racist that all of that stuff was absolutely ruined beyond belief; i instantly moved to a google doc and to write down my mind palace version that doesn't involve All Of That. the one-two punch of the world is hollow + the empath, which made me a bones understander. the tholian web, which made me bonkers because i love a good fake death. plato's stepchildren, sections of which i had to watch through my fingers.

finally, of note for this batch: whom gods destroy, which unexpectedly brought back the brainwashing chair and excited me so much i had to pause the episode to collect myself. that which survives, bc the looney toons sfx made me scream laugh. requiem for methuselah, which genuinely induced a november 5th-like mania i didn't think i'd ever feel again. all our yesterdays, which was the worst i'd EVER felt for a space babe. and finally, turnabout intruder, which introduced "it's better to be DEAD than to be in the body of [x]" into my own personal lexicon.

ok that's everything! we have nine episodes left of tos to go back and watch before we move onto tng, but i know in my heart that tos will always be my favorite. i'll miss you tos :(

[spastuetheobsessedphylosopher]

Rant

I'm really cautious about sharing my interests at home because I usually get negative reactions, and while my dad is generally the one person who is always indulging my interests, he has what one might consider a refined taste. I know it's just his opinion at the end of the day, but to me his opinion has always seemed so high and mighty, that even though he likes a good part of the things I share with him, I still feel scared about introducing him to my latest hyperfixation.

Since I wasn't able to watch any of the genloss episodes live, I begged my family to have dinner earlier so that I could watch Ranboo's live-stream yesterday. Only my mom stuck around with me and she wasn't really watching it. But this morning my dad asked me about it as he usually does whenever I watch something on TV. I had been waiting on someone to ask me why I was so hyped for this show I've devoted a big part of my week to, and my dad finally gave me the opening, so I took the opportunity.

I was genuinely terrified. Much as my dad and I share some of our interests, the live-stream community has never really been his favorite. He tolerates MCC because he enjoys watching Niki and Tommy play, says they're very sportsmanlike and a good influence on their teammates. But for the most part he doesn't like the idea of people streaming their lives in real time for others to see.

Maybe that's exactly why he was very entertained and interested when I explained Generation Loss to him. He knows I like horror to a certain degree, and I know he enjoys psychological horror while I tend to enjoy more supernatural horror and jumpscares, for reasons I will explain in my next GenLoss post. I think that's why he was surprised to learn about the brand of horror that comes at play in Generation Loss, and the fact that I was enjoying something like that. He asked me a bunch of questions about it, seem to understand everything I was explaining, and said he really enjoyed the idea behind the project.

I was planning to watch through all the episodes in a row when I'm done with university exams, or maybe jump straight into the Founder's Cut, and I wanted to watch it on TV in my living room instead of in my laptop. Hearing my dad be so pleased with the stuff I've told him really calms my nerves about playing it where my family can see, and I can't wait to show it all to him.

There are so many reasons for me to feel proud of Ranboo and happy for them. I've seen him grow almost since the start, and I've seen this project grow too. But there are also many reasons why Ranboo makes me feel happy for myself. Him creating content that has opened me to making my own theories and exchanging ideas with others, content that is so brilliantly developed and intriguing, content that brings me closer to my family, is one of those reasons. Ranboo really is the best, and I can't thank them enough.

[vintagepresley]

Just got back from classes, so here’s my little rant/cry for help:

I took my blog over from someone else, mainly because i’m a full-time college student and i just did not have the time or energy to start a full account from scratch.

So the whole transition happened, the other girl announced her leaving, and i introduced myself once i joined, changed all the things i wanted to change. I kept the same username, because i genuinely love it and changing it to anything else would cause more time, like changing the headers and updating all the links.

Previous owner asked me to complete two of the things she started which were a series that is still on-going and a Christmas project. So i was like fine, sure why not because i liked the ideas she had for it and i felt like i could do something with it.

So i so far only have posted one thing that i’ve written because i’ve been busy and i’ve been mostly focusing on the Christmas project. But the one thing i posted did not gain a lot of attraction if thats the right word for it. So i thought, that’s weird. So i checked to see if i was shadow banned, which i wasn’t because the post did turn up in the tags. I checked the previous owner’s posts from that series and saw that those did get more attraction. So for a while i just left it as it was, but yesterday i looked a bit further, checked previous messages etc (which might be an invasion of privacy but i just wanted to find out what was going on)

And i found out that the previous owner was caught up in quite some drama that i don’t know the details of, and i think that might be the reason people are maybe boycotting my blog.

I have done everything i think i can do that i have the time for, like i introduced myself and it was stated very clearly that the previous owner had left. And i changed the email and password so i know for sure she won’t be coming back.

I didn’t delete her old fics, even after finding out about the drama, because i don’t wanna delete someone’s hard work if you know what i mean.

And now i just don’t know what to do, because all i want to do is spread positivity, love & happiness around my blog and create a safe space. While writing about the people i love for other people to read when i get back from my classes because writing is so relaxing for me.

I do not know what to do, because i promise i’m just trying to live life as a college student and spread positivity in any way i can without it being too time consuming :(

Wow okay, this is a lot. I’m sorry it took me so long to answer it. I can see why people may be causing you some trouble because of whatever the previous owner of the account may of done. But I feel like in that situation no matter if you’ve told everyone there’s a new owner, they just probably won’t believe that and would just assume it’s the same person trying to act like it’s someone different. I think the only way to get out of this whole mess is either delete most of the stuff on there including the fics and maybe changing the username to just give a fresh start. I know that’s something you don’t want to do. But it may be the only thing you can do in this situation. Other than maybe just making your own account. Which I know you said you just don’t have time to build up. Which is understandable. But that’s my best advice for this situation.

[crazyf0rswayze]

Fixer Upper pt6

Y/N POV

"Hey honey! How was it?" My mom said hugging me then releasing me.

"It was really good! We went to the diner and then we went back to his house. He introduced me to his friends and brothers too!" I say

"Did he treat you good" Jack asks looking up at me from the couch

"Yes, Jack. I told you he'd keep me safe" I say looking at him and then at my dad who walked over to me.

"Hey hun" my dad says hugging me

"Hi dad" I say hugging back before he released me

"You guys didn't DO anything rrriiiggghhhttt?" My dad asked

"Gosh no dad!" I say blushing

"Ok....ok good" He says walking to sit next to my brother

DARRY'S POV

I walked back to my place after dropping Y/n at her house, and before walking my brother calls out to me

"C'mon Dar! You said you'd play!" Ponyboy whines. I just chuckle a little

"I am, I just have to put my sneakers on" I say walking into the house. I lean against the wall smiling to myself. I just loved Y/n so much and I don't think I'll ever stop. I walk over to the shoe closet and take my nice shoes off replacing them with a worn pair of sneakers. I ran back outside, and the moment I was off of the porch steps Pony threw me the ball. I joined his team since the opposite team had Dallas, and Steve, the tallest and strongest minus me. My team had...myself and Two-bit, as the tallest and strongest.

Y/N POV

I ran up to my room to call a friend from back home.

"This is the Bowman household, Amy speaking"

"Hi! It's Y/n...you got time to talk?" I ask biting my lip

"Oh my gosh! Y/n!? Yes...Yes! I can talk! How are you? How are you settling in?" Amy asked excitedly.

"I'm good, and I'm settling in amazingly" I reply hintingly

"Amazing you say? Is there a guy" She asks. I could just tell she was smiling through the phone

"Yea...we had a nice little date yesterday at a local diner. I met his brothers and his friends, he says his friends are around his house a lot. They all seem pretty nice, I didn't talk to them much though. He's got two kid brothers, the older one is sixteen going on seventeen. His name....h-his name is...." I cut myself off with laughter.

"Sorry, his brothers have....unique names to say the least. The older one is Sodapop, and the youngest one just turned fourteen. His name's Ponyboy." I pause waiting for Amy to laugh. She does, she laughs her true genuine laugh that I love and miss. I kinda felt at home as I heard her laugh...

"Those....are unique names. What's the boys name though?" She asks calming down from all the laughter

"Oh gosh, sorry I didn't tell you! His name is Darrel, but everyone calls him Darry or Dar. Amy he's beautiful! He has these icy blue-green eyes that I just can't stop staring into. He's around six two, and he's got this somewhat....I don't know.... intimidating? buff built. But it's like....y-you get through to him and he's just this kind, caring, amazingly soft guy. Amy, for the first time I am head over heels for a guy! I-it's like a movie!" I say with the widest smile on my face.

"Y/n! I'm so happy for you! How'd you meet" She asks

"He places shingles on houses, and there were some missing on our house so he's working on my house..." I say smiling.

"That's an interesting way to meet...wait till you tell your kids that!" She says teasingly

"Gosh Amy..." I say, chuckling

"It's gonna be quite the story Y/n" Amy responds

"I'm really REALLY happy for you Y/n. It sounds nice, you move in, ya meet a guy, and then he imminently introduces you to his brothers and friends? That's true love. I bet you feel real welcome, all these friends..." Amy says sadly

"Oh Amy....no friends or guy could replace you. Let's try to call every day ok?" I say

"Ok...How are his folks?" Amy ask curiously

"Well um...th-that's the sad part....they died eight or so months ago in an auto crash" I say biting my lip.

"Oh...I'm sorry Y/n" Amy says

"It's not your fault. I just feel bad for him, he's only twenty and he's raising his two kid brothers on his own. Sodapop dropped out to work full time and help Darry, but you know it's still a lot for him. AND he works two jobs. I just feel so bad. He had a nice scholarship for football, but parents or no parents he wouldn't have the money to pay the for the uncovered part of tuition."

"Mhmm...s-sorry I don't know how to respond to that...."

"It's ok Amy, you don't have to respond." I say

"Enough about me, how've you been Amy" I ask

"I've been great. Summer was nice, I'm home from collage for the weekend to have some family time. Brian and I are still going strong" Amy replies happily

"That's great! Uhhgg I'm so happy for you and Brian. I really wish I had love like yours in high school"

"Well look at you now hun, you've got yourself, what sound like, the most amazing man EVER" Amy says in an encouraging tone

"Wait....Y/n....didn't you have a scholarship for theater? Why aren't you at collage?" Amy asks

"My parents don't have the extra money to send me" I say sadly

"Oh...I'm sorry"

"It's ok."

"I have to go ok? I'll try and talk to ya tomorrow. Love ya!" She says

"Ok, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love ya too" I say before hanging up.

DARRY'S POV

We had a nice game before we all headed in. I went to my room to change into a crappy pair of jeans, and a shirt that would soon come off.

"I'll see you guys later, don't burn the place down ok guys?" I say

"Yes sir" Two says with a jokey salute

I walk out the door, and start walking to Y/n's house for work. I showed up a little early so I could say hi to my girl. I was soon at Y/n's house, and the moment she saw me she ran out of the house.

"Heeeyyyy pretty boy" She says

"Heeeyyyy pretty girl" I say back. She pecks my lips.

"You wanna come over to my place for movies later today?" She asks

"Sure honey."

"I'll try to make sure my brother doesn't sit right between us ok?" she says

"Ok, hun" I say with a chuckle

"Nice...see ya then lover boy" She says before walking away. I just smile to myself. I blushed at yet another nickname. I liked this one.

'Lover boy....' I thought to myself. My work buddy walks up to me

"So.....did ya ask the gal out?" he asks

"Yea...yea I did. We went to the diner for dinner, and then I took her to my place. I introduced her to my kid brothers and my friends." I say as we all get set up, you know putting the ladders out and grabbing some shingles out of boss's truck and putting them on the grass.

"Yea...did ya get lucky" He asks

"No...no. We slept in the same bed though." I say laughing to myself

"Why do you want to know about my sex life Carl..." I ask looking at him

"I don't...just wondering" Carl says

"You sound just like my buddy Dallas 'Oh I don't I was just wondering'. Just wondering my ass" I say grabbing two packs of shingles and carrying them up the ladder. Gosh I was gonna regret that later.

"Alrighty then! No need to get defensive" He says, jokingly climbing up the ladder

"I was joking Carl" I say

"I know buddy, I was joking right back" He says getting to work. We just continue working and making small talk and sharing laughs.

[brainexplosion375]

Do you wanna talk about eating disorders? Because I kinda don't but I will anyway

There's only two people in my life that I’ve ever admitted to having an eating disorder to. My best friend who introduced me to purging, and my other best friend who’s complained about her body for as long as I can remember but I never understood, until I did. I grew up with a very privileged relationship with food. I’ve noticed that a lot of women talk about getting eating disorders from their parents but that’s not the case for me. Yeah my moms a little bit of a health freak but more in the “don’t leave the wifi on at night or we’ll all get cancer” kind of way. Not so much the “a moment on the lips forever on the hips”. My eating disorder came out of nowhere, it was tragic to be honest because I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again. I went 19 blissful years without a second thought of how many carbohydrates I was consuming or if I could pinch the fat on my stomach or not. But then again, I’ve always been averagely healthy or even thin. My relationship with food was so healthy that I never needed to diet because I genuinely enjoyed eating moderately healthy, and that's all it takes in my opinion. I was in the kitchen of my then apartment chatting with my roommate. (There were five of us in total) but this one (we’ll call her Stacy) was basically my best friend. She seemed awkward, and started talking about how her therapist had told her she needed her friends to start “holding her accountable”. I had no idea what she was talking about but I listened as I fixed myself lunch in the kitchen. She then explained that she was bulimic, she had been struggling with this for a while and that being completely transparent with the people around her about it would aid in her recovery. This, I completely agree with, don’t get me wrong. Maybe I’m selfish for wishing she hadn’t opened up to me as fully as she did that day, but this created a string of problems that are still present in my life years later. I think the fact that we lived together made it so much worse. Now that I had been made aware of her eating disorder I would literally hear her purging in the bathroom, I couldn’t ignore it, she wasn’t exactly subtle. I wanted to lose weight, so naturally I started restricting my diet. Unfortunately this is a stupid idea when you do it in extremes because scarcity leads to higher demand. I put unhealthy foods on a pedestal in my head, like they were something I could never have, which only made me want it more. I remember the first time I made myself throw up. I had made fried spring rolls for one of my roommates and me. (For someone struggling with an eating disorder I actually really enjoyed cooking). We were sitting down eating together and then he eventually got up to go to bed. I think I had a small amount of alcohol that night but basically the second he left I lost complete control around the food. I proceeded to eat all of the spring rolls and then a whole bag of kettle corn that had been sitting in our pantry for way too long. I think I would probably consider that my first “binge”. I was obviously uncomfortable with the amount of food I had eaten and so I proceeded to go to the bathroom, luckily our fan was extremely loud in there, this is something that never got fixed by maintenance unfortunately. Anyways, I purged everything and went to bed. I woke up thinking I had hacked the system. I could have my cake and eat it too, but how I wished it never happened. My brain got caught in a vicious restriction, binge and purge cycle. I had lost any sense of how to eat “normally” anymore. Food consumed my thoughts every. Single. Day. It sucks. I know that I’ve wanted to recover for a while now but it’s much easier said than done. Yesterday I binged on 4 doughnuts, two bowls of cereal, three tacos, and an assortment of random things in my kitchen. But! Today I resisted the urge to do all of that over again and instead I’m writing this. I don’t think I’ll be like this forever, at least I hope not. Breaking a habit takes time, I got this, and,if you related to anything I wrote, you got this too.

[emletish-fish]

I’ve binge read your completed cobra Kai fics on AO3 and I just want to say you have an amazing gift and I am literally gonna go back and reread them now even tho I only finished yesterday! If you’re gonna write any more Robby-Johnny centered fics especially now that the newest season is out with the addition of a new baby, I would literally be the first reader!

Thank you for making my week better ❤️

Aww thank you so much!

Robby and Johnny really caught my attention. In this dumb karate soap opera, what those two had going on was genuinely riveting for me. I felt properly inspired. I really wanted them to have a better relationship and when the show wouldn't give it to me, I wrote it myself. I'm super fond of Good Boy and No Be There as writing projects.

But daaayyum, the babyplot in season 5 kinda killed my inspiration stone-dead.

I have an idea to re-write the way Robby and Johnny and Miguel work through their issues without the babyplot, simmilar to what I did with No Be There after season 4. I'd take the plot beats of the season 5 but re-work it to be more emotionally satisfying.

(I'd also like to re-introduce the continuity fairy, because the idea that Robby has healthy, well-adjusted grandparents that he normally spends the summer with going fishing and hiking was just thrown out there with no explanation this season, all to service the babyplot???? so, like, I want to be consistent with what has been established as canon prior to that).

So yeah, that's an idea I've been tossing around in my head, and hopefully I'll write it. But it's a bit of a struggle atm because the babyplot did Robby and Johnny so dirty - but in a way that sapped all the narrative tension out of their relationship. Lack of narrative payoff is a bit of an inspiration killer for me.

So I can't make you any promises, but I do have some ideas.

[sapphosvioletts]

ON COMING INFODUMP 🚨 i got back into record collecting, i used to do it with my aunt all the time when i was younger and i finally got a new record player, and i'm genuinely so excited! i forgot how much i loved collecting and it's nice doing it on my own

yesterday i went to 3 different thrift/antique stores vinyl hunting, spent almost 4 hours (look sifting through all of the vinyls takes forever) and i'm happy with what i found!

and the 'introducing the beatles one'? i got it for only $5 and it has no warps, barely any scuffs. every single other beatles vinyl was listed for over $20 and that was at the cheapest, i saw one that was $60. it doesn't have a cover (which is okay with me, i don't mind if this one has a cover or not), so i don't think while putting them out they realized it was the beatles because there were tons of open vinyls, they're not going to read through all of them. i found it in the very back and it didn't have a price on it soooo the lady only asked for $5😎 and so i looked up the catalog number, and i could full well just be an idiot and looking at the wrong thing. but turns out it's a pretty rare one some worth up to $400. i'm not selling it, i want it for myself and also they aren't worth much without the cover. but still i cant believe i got that for only $5

tbh never heard of the blue 45 but it was only $2 and it has flowers in the name so i got it solely for that reason. and the genesis one i didn't rlly recognize i can only remember like one maybe two songs from them tbh but was only $3 so eh why not

then today this one thrift store was selling records for ridiculously cheap. i got the alice in wonderland set (which was literally only 97 cents for the ENTIRE set. 4 vinyls in it!!) that book was my favorite growing up and even if i don't ever use it i couldn't pass it up. then i found cabaret, one of my favorite soundtracks and i have in fact been listening on repeat since i got home. i'm used to the film version so the original version is really cool!! then i got the beatles one at walmart, yes i know i just got a beatles one but it's a different album and tbh i rlly just wanted eleanor rigby 😭

so this weekend was very successful!!! yes i only have about 57 cents left in my bank account but it's worth it

now i'm on the hunt for pink floyd. i do not have $50 for each album. but i have wanted the wall and the dark side of the moon for the longest fucking time praying that i can find them they're all i want *inserts meme of spongebob fish banging desperately on the floor*

[jcmarchi]

With My Past Review - Puzzle Therapy - Game Informer

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/with-my-past-review-puzzle-therapy-game-informer/

With My Past Review - Puzzle Therapy - Game Informer

Everyone can empathize with waking up late at night and sitting in agony as your brain forcefully makes you relive a traumatic, embarrassing, or heartbreaking moment. Our past is with us forever, and how it manifests in the present is a toss-up from day to day. With My Past, the debut game from developer Imagine Wings Studio, attempts to blend those feelings with platforming-puzzle gameplay and does so excellently. The result is a therapeutic five-hour adventure I’ll be thinking about long after today. 

After being startled awake at 3 a.m. by her past, an unnamed blue-haired girl goes on a journey through her labyrinth mind, which is holding her back. This translates to six distinct chapters of gameplay, each with a unique theme in narrative and mechanics. The first introduces you to her “Past,” the throughline mechanic with which With My Past shines. Your past is just you, but two seconds prior. If you walk forward and jump, two seconds later, it will too. With My Past playfully builds upon this in its opening moments as it teaches you the ropes, but by the end of the game, I was pulling off moves that bent my brain in all directions.

As you progress through each chapter, With My Past introduces new mechanics, like a Kiwi fruit that lets you teleport to your past’s location or a way to solidify your past and climb on top of it to reach new heights. It’s hard to describe how unique this mechanic plays in With My Past because it’s genuinely unlike anything I’ve played in a puzzle game, but Imagine Wings Studios excels at adding new layers to its depth each step of the journey. I’m reminded of 2018’s Celeste, which does the same, incorporating narrative elements into the game’s mechanics. 

On that same note, With My Past is more vague than Celeste’s journey of transformation and self-love, instead allowing players to graft their own past onto the protagonist here. But it works well. As on-screen words that tell the story dive into self-hate, the ways our past bubbles up at the worst times, and the loneliness sometimes felt even when surrounded by love, I found myself thinking about my past, and it was wondrous to watch how With My Past suggests tackling those issues through gameplay. 

Your in-game past transforms from a mysterious specter, to an enemy on the hunt, to an ally you must reckon with and understand as a part of what makes you. And it does so while With My Past serves up great puzzle after puzzle. A handful of the 150+ challenges left me more frustrated than satisfied, but a skip option allows players to keep the story moving along. My only real dissatisfaction happened in the game’s final (and only) “boss” fight. Perhaps I missed the point, but in an otherwise cohesive experience, it felt unattached to everything else I played through. 

Void of voice acting, with a minimal soundscape coloring the protagonist’s steps, With My Past’s score does the talking here, and the result is one of my favorite scores of the year. It’s grand, sweeping, and almost feels more at home in a movie theater than coming from my desktop screen, but the game’s music is as integral to this journey as the story and its puzzles. 

I began With My Past yesterday on a whim and finished it later that afternoon with an aching smile on my face; that “hurts so good” type of smile. With My Past is a short but powerful burst of emotional storytelling on top of excellent and intuitive puzzle design. With few misses, it’s an impressive reminder of the power of games and how savvy developers can blend storytelling into how we play.

[madstars-festival]

[WINNER INTERVIEW] I Nailed My Internship!

- Interview with Heeyoon Kim of winner MAD STARS 2023 & Cheil Worldwide Internship Participant

Every year, MAD STARS offers internship opportunities at renowned advertising agencies for winners of the General Public (Bronze or higher) and YOUNG STARS (Crystal or higher) categories!

Last year, 14 companies, including Serviceplan Korea, Ideot, Cheil Worldwide, and HSAD, participated. This year, we're thrilled to announce that many agencies are eagerly preparing special internship programs exclusively for MAD STARS winners! It's an exciting opportunity for participants to not only showcase their talents but also to kickstart their careers with valuable hands-on experience in top-tier agencies.

We had the pleasure of speaking with Heeyoon Kim, who achieved remarkable success at MAD STARS 2023 in the General Public, earning 1 Silver, and 3 Crystals.

Heeyoon worked on an internship at Cheil Worldwide after her remarkable achievements. As an art director intern, Heeyoon worked under the ECD Soora Min team at Cheil Worldwide's Production 3 Headquarters since January this year.

Since 2022, she has passionately pursued her dream of becoming an advertising art director. Her journey has been enriched by various experiences at MAD STARS, where she participated in both the General Public and Young Stars MAD Competition.

We delved into Heeyoon's journey at MAD STARS and her enriching internship experience!

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Q. Please introduce yourself in brief.

A. Hello! My name is Heeyoon Kim, and I dream of becoming an advertising art director.

My greatest joy lies in sharing my creations with others and observing their reactions.

It seems like just yesterday that I was awestruck by the award-winning works at MADSTARS, my heart racing with excitement. Now, finding myself as a winner and being interviewed feels incredibly surreal. I'm genuinely honored to have this opportunity😄

Q. You have been recognized in the General Public of MAD STARS for two years in a row since 2022.

What made you decide to enter MAD STARS?

* Heeyoon Kim's MAD STARS Awards -MAD STARS 2023 General Public: 1 Silver, 3 Crystal, 8 Finalists - MAD STARS 2022 General Public: 1 Finalist

A. Recognized as one of Asia's premier advertising contests, MAD STARS annually attracts a plethora of outstanding entries.

Notably, many of these works have received accolades from MAD STARS and other internationally acclaimed advertising competitions. Feeling inspired to develop through competing alongside these distinguished works, I naturally decided to submit my own.

Q. Tell us about your favorite piece of work you've submitted to MAD STARS.

A. While I hold deep affection for all the submissions if I had to choose just one, it would be 'First Ukraine Michelin Stars'.

First Ukraine Michelin Stars Innovation Stars - Silver / PIVOT - Crystal, 2023

This was a project carried out with a team member full of passion, and it was especially meaningful because it developed ideas to assist Ukraine, which is suffering from the impacts of war. Throughout the project, our team focused on finding ways to naturally help Ukraine without instilling guilt or being coercive.

During this process, we discovered that Ukraine did not have a single Michelin Star restaurant, which led to the idea of opening a Michelin Star restaurant that sells Ukrainian traditional food, thereby preserving its culinary culture. Implementing this project required consideration of everything from the restaurant's logo to the menu, dishes, and interior, during which our team members really put in a lot of effort.

The team worked tirelessly, day and night, researching Ukrainian traditional food and culture, and holding meetings to gradually develop the idea. As a result, I am truly happy that this work allowed us to win both Silver and Crystal awards at the Busan International Marketing Advertising Festival.😊

Q. Especially last year, in addition to being finalists in the General Public, you won four trophies, including Silver and Crystal.

I'm curious about your strategy for achieving significantly more awards in 2023 compared to 2022 when you were one work finalist (which, of course, is still a significant achievement!).

Did you focus on anything specific or put in extra effort in 2023 compared to 2022?

A. In 2022, the work that was selected as a finalist in the General Public category was a project I undertook individually rather than with a team.

Naturally, handling everything from planning to production on my own presented many challenges, and without team members to discuss ideas with, it took me a long time to gain confidence in my ideas. Following this experience, I met team members who shared my vision, and we worked together, leveraging our teamwork.

Working with passionate team members made it possible to smile even in the toughest moments, and by dividing roles and bringing out each other's expertise, we seemed to create greater synergy. As a result, we were able to produce works of higher quality, which I believe led to winning more awards.

Q. In addition to entering the General Public, you have participated in YOUNG STARS, a college student marketing and advertising competition, for two years in a row since 2022.

What made you decide to participate in YOUNG STARS for the second year in a row?

* Heeyoon Kim's YOUNG STARS Awards - 2023 YOUNG STARS MAD Competition: Finalist -2022 YOUNG STARS AD Competition: Silver

A. The chance to compete with students from various countries was the most appealing aspect to me.

Furthermore, I believed that competing alongside many students who love advertising would enhance my passion for it even more, leading me to participate in Youngstars for two consecutive years.

Q. You participated in the YOUNG STARS Final Round in Busan, Korea last year.

Do you have any funny stories from the event?

A. In 2022, I couldn't participate in the on-site competition due to COVID-19, but in 2023, being able to join the on-site competition and meet college students from various nationalities in person was probably the most enjoyable part for me.

When communicating with foreign students, I mainly used English, but sometimes, when I wanted to have a newer and more enjoyable conversation, I used a translation app to show the translated language in real time. During this process, there were translation errors, but that made the interactions more enjoyable and helped us become friends naturally. I still keep in touch with a Chinese friend I got close to at that time!😄

Q. What skills do you think you've been able to develop through YOUNG STARS?

A. Working in a team on the project allowed us to refine our ideas through discussions and collaboration, thereby fostering our teamwork.

Furthermore, among the students participating in Young Stars, many exhibited exceptional planning and production talents, from whom I could learn a lot just by observing their work. I analyzed the strengths of the winning teams and reflected on my shortcomings, contemplating how I could further develop my ideas.

I believe this process helped me improve my ability to flesh out ideas.

Q. As a winner of the 2023 MAD STARS General Public, you participated in a six-week internship program at Cheil Worldwide.

What kind of work did you do at Cheil Worldwide?

A. During my internship, I worked as an Art Director intern at Cheil Worldwide, under the team led by Soora Min ECD.

I had the opportunity to work with various teams and experience multiple clients. My responsibilities primarily included video advertisement ideation, key visual development, and digital campaign ideation.

The most memorable moment for me was participating in a competitive presentation from start to finish with the ECD team. Despite the tight timeline, it was thrilling when our team won the competition.

Given the short duration of my internship, it was not easy to experience the entire process of a competitive pitch from start to finish, so I believe I was quite fortunate. 😊

Q. What did you learn from the internship program?

A. I've realized the importance of trend analysis. When creating advertisements, being able to interpret trends seems like the fastest way to gain a competitive edge.

Not only should one be aware of advertising trends, but it's also beneficial to understand the critical issues in society, what interests the younger generation, and what memes are trending, among other things. It's advantageous to have a broad range of interests, to the extent that others might say, "Wow, you know about this too?"

I believe that having such diverse interests and a better understanding of trends can lead to the generation of many new and engaging ideas when it comes to creating advertising concepts.

Q. What were some of the challenges you faced during your internship and something you felt you could improve upon?

A. When tasked with generating advertising ideas for unfamiliar products or services, I found setting a direction and concretizing a concept particularly challenging. Even in areas that I'm not well-versed in, I still needed to delve deep and propose ideas convincing enough for the client, which was initially really tough. 😢

So, whenever I was at a loss for the right direction, I made it a point to jot down all the ideas from team members during each meeting, striving to clearly understand the client's desired direction. I also endeavored to analyze related market cases, seeking elements and methods that could differentiate us in the market.

There are still many brands and products I've yet to experience, so moving forward, I thought about the importance of preemptively thinking about how I could turn the many things I encounter in daily life into advertisements.

Q. What changes did you see in yourself before and after the internship?

A. Previously, I focused on generating fresh and fun ideas, but after my internship, I shifted my focus towards creating solutions that align with the actual needs of clients. Compared to before, I believe I've learned to think more strategically.

Additionally, working with wonderful people who have taught me so much has made me realize that I need to become more humble.😄

Q. What kind of person do you want to become as you start building your career?

A. Rather than aspiring to become someone great, I want to be a person who still loves advertising and creativity as time goes by. Even when work becomes overwhelming, I wish to continue working with passion and excitement in my heart!

Also, since I don't know what opportunities life may bring or where I might end up working in the future, I'm determined to study English more diligently to become someone who doesn't feel hindered by language barriers.

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Anyone has the chance to enter the MAD STARS General Public for free until June 15 (KST).

Additionally, the Young Stars MAD Competition 2024, open to university students of any major, is accepting submissions until May 26 (KST).

Notably, several renowned advertising agencies are preparing internship programs.

Seize this opportunity to not only compete for awards at an international festival but also to kickstart your career with an internship at an esteemed advertising company!

Submit your entry for MAD STARS 2024 General Public 👉🏻 https://bit.ly/3x4rjlZ

Apply for the 2024 Young Stars MAD Competition 👉🏻 https://bit.ly/3P7ch4X

[gojorgeous]

🥺🥺🥺I missed you toooooo (am I seeing it right? I just got my own tag???? OMG.)

Oh I will wait. Don't worry. Take your own time. I WILL ALWAYS WAIT. hehe. And just a remainder on the behalf of the fandom, you never have to push yourself for forcing a second part out of you, we are happy with just anything you'd serve us!!

As for the Suguru fic, i usually don't read any fic that involves dynamics other than the reader and charachter being....normal humans. (Yes. Naked truth? I've never read a vampire fic or abo dynamic fic before ever and I don't I will in the future, i just don't think it's my cup of tea.)

😭like you get what I mean? I can't relate to it all too well so I never read it in the first place but then this time, since it was you I got a bit curious. I read an articles on abo dynamics and jumped right into reading it and oh.

Oh.

It wasn't that bad?! (Even tho my brain still couldn't wrap itself around the concept all too well and was trying to make it realistic the whole time☠️)

I really REALLY like how you show the healthy Sub x Dom dynamics in it. Where the sub feels safe with the dom and willingly (like it's a second nature to them) submits to them. A lot of time I see it being forced, like genuinely genuinely forced and I hate it. Being a sub myself I know for a fact I'm not letting anyone force themselves on me.

I also like how you pointed out "he was submitting to you as much as you were submitting to him" and how even without saying he - the dom- knew about the sub's need. That's truly how a healthy sub x dom relationship is like to me. The dom aren't just on the top so they can force themselves onto the sub and get what they want, they are on top because that's their nature.

A true and healthy dom would care about their sub's needs more than theirs. That's the responsibility you shall take, you should be willing to postpone your pleasures to satisfy your sub first. A true dom would always respect the fact that someone put all their trust in them and they'd more than happily fulfill their duties as a dom and this was portrayed so well in the fic. I can't tell how much I appreciate the way you've shown that in the fic AND ALSO I WAS SIMPING SO BAD OVER SUGURU JUST YESTERDAY MORNING I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU THE UNHOLY THOUGHTS ARFGGGHHHHHGGG and this fulfilled and SERVED me. So thank you again.

Suguru 🛐

(oh shoot I didn't realise how long this became omg I hope you don't mind 😭)

(it's the shameless anon baby ;))

shameless anon i cannot believe i was just your introduction to omegaverse PFTTTTTTTTTTTT

it's honestly hilarious to me that my work would introduce ANYONE to omegaverse LMAO - i feel like reading a/b/o fics was such a ... moment when i was like 12 or 13 (DON'T DO THIS MDNI ON THIS BLOG 18 PLUS ONLY I MEAN IT I AM SERIOUS I SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN READING A/B/O AT 12 BAD BAD BAD BAD) but like it was definitely... an experience. i don't know how to explain it LMAO

a/b/o can easily turn into a dark sort of dubcon/noncon sort of space, so i'm glad you felt like the dynamics were safe and not forced!

also suguru rots my brain day and night. period.