#I had to individually go through every statement until I found all the ones in the wrong tray

[megatraven]

Me yelling for the literal last half hour: PLEASE SCAN YOUR JOBS IN WE STILL HAVE JOBS ON THE SCREEN PLEASE SCAN THEM IN BEFORE THE SYSTEM GOES DOWN

the guy at the end of the room decidedly NOT scanning his jobs or even listening to me at all: :)

[logan-lieutenant]

Goodbye to a World

reading between the lines of the various goodbyes and dismissals to logan sargeant

Pt. 1: Williams App

i don’t have to say a whole lot about the end of july. the wait is over! our second seat for 2025! carlos’s video which was professional and respectful and obligatory. williams garage’s video, which was appalling and shameful and disgraceful. we remember, we were there. something to recall, though– you guys remember how there was NO logan announcement? like NONE? we scoured social media like we were stalking our ex and there was nothing?

so we though– or at least, so i thought. i didn’t find the official logan departure announcement until weeks later, and i’m going to have to do this off the top of my head since in the past few days it’s been taken down, but i finally fucking found it– it’s in the williams app. hard to find because you have to scroll through five or six videos first, all under the category:

every time i genuinely think okay, this time it really can’t get worse, we smash through rock bottom like it’s a chassis in australia and hit another. even looking at this old screenshot makes my blood boil. i’m not going to be very coherent so let’s just break this down and phrase all the fuck-ups in a list:

- the only way to find the message is if you have the app. if you PARTICIPATE IN MORE TEAM MARKETING/PROMOTION PLATFORMS. you have to have an account, too. sainz gets eight posts on every single social the team can admin at once, including links, but logan’s post is essentially an easter egg.

- logan’s goodbye post isn’t its own post, it’s included in the sainz category. he doesn’t even get to be an individual figure leaving the team; he’s an event, he’s a side effect, just a domino tipped by another much more important decision. the end of his entire future is a footnote. it’s causation. it’s collateral.

- his cute lil article? it’s titled Thank you, Logan: His Williams Journey. it’s not even titled about logan. it’s williams saying “hey! look at us lovely guardian angels 😌 see how we took this poor little bird under our wings 😊 we’re so philanthropic and generous 😊 read along and find out all the amazing things we did for our little buddy!” it’s promo. it’s propaganda. in the midst of their announcement that he’s being kicked to the curb they take the opportunity to pat themselves on the back for everything they’ve done for him. it’s not enough to bury him alive, they had to dance on his grave too.

- i think there’s a good chance a robot wrote this. either that or they picked the most unoriginal journalist they could find.

that’s just humiliating. a thirteen year old on wattpad describing someone’s eyes as cerulean orbs makes a more captivating point than this.

- james consonants has one quote in the article. he’s the only one who’s quoted. the rest of it is about logan’s carer in junior series with williams driver academy. the last sentence is:

this is going to be more relevant in the posts ahead, when jv pops off once again. but can i also say how revolting it is that the message comes from james? when logan gets dropped early the wording gets a little different, but in the initial announcement (if you can even call it that) it’s all about james. what james has to say to logan specifically. williams’ whole thing is that they’re a family team, birds of a feather that stick together, they have each other’s backs and love and friendship and lalala all that bullshit. one would THINK it would be in their best interest to remember who they are. but nope. instead we get james making a point to single himself out so that he alone gets to show off how kind and forgiving and gracious he is to logan and the lack of a team statement gives the implication that the rest of the team didn’t even care. didn’t even notice. of course that isn’t what’s directly communicated but how sloppy and careless can you get with the wording that that message can even be interpreted IN THE FIRST PLACE?

all in all, williams is telling the world:

logan is not even worth effort. it’s not enough that they’re going to abandon his strategy, give him the shittier car, ice him out in his own team, not give his car any upgrades until over halfway through the season… they’re going to make sure we know that he isn’t even worth good writing. the lack of respect and decency and acknowledging someone as a human being with a sentient presence in the world is so severe that even on the fucking internet, where all they literally have to do so much pr and image management, they don’t have the words.

williams is making sure we all know: logan is so worthless he’s not worth taking the time to say that he’s worthless. they talk about underperformance, and this is the way they treat their team members. their fucking drivers. the faces of the brand.

it’s almost comical. it’s unbelievable. if someone was writing this in a story and i was proofreading, i’d tell them to tone it down, because at this point the antagonist is becoming too villainous to be believable; they’re a caricature, a parody.

but no. this is actually happening.

(to be continued)

[lgbtawarenessproject]

Part 8: Namibia, Fiji, Vanuatu, Tonga, Tuvalu

Some these are really short, I wasn't able to find a lot of information on them. I am, admittedly, only doing a surface search to save time, but still.

(Also I'm limiting how much time I spend writing them)

I did add Namibia to this one, and Zimbabwe links will be at the bottom.

-Soul

Namibia

While Namibia does criminalize homosexuality by men, it does have a pride celebration.

Namibia’s pride celebration began in December 2013, and was run by Out-Right Namibia in Windhoek. Approximately 100 people showed up, a mix of black and white citizens. This was a historical moment, not just because it was pride, but because as Linda Baumann explained, “there is a gap between the two communities in the country and it was historic; a mixture of our communities getting together”. Marchers in the celebration carried signs saying things like “Up with love, down with hate” and “Dare to be different”. The organization was given permission to hold this event by the Windhoek government, and was provided with four police officers to protect them. There were protestors at pride, but the majority accepted it.

This event was a large step forward for Namibia queers, but there is still plenty they are working towards. In 2018, a gay couple, one of which was from Namibia, the other from South Africa, won a case to immigrate their son to Namibia, but earlier this year(2023), it was repealed by the supreme court. Namibia continues to fight back, but the government resists.

Sources: 1 2 3 4

Fiji

Over all, LGBT rights in Fiji are decent. In February of 2010, homosexuality became legal, and in 2018, they had their first pride. However, gay marriage is still illegal, and anti-discrimination laws are lacking.

Talking about pride in Fiji, it was approved by the local government, and was escorted by police. Presumably to protect it. More importantly though, it was the first pride march in any Pacific Island. That isn’t to say it came easy though, in 2012 a pride celebration was planned in one of the bigger cities in Fiji. It was, unfortunately, canceled by the police. It was attempted again afterwards, but they had no success until doing it in a small town in 2018. The pride was organized by the Rainbow Pride Foundation.

In 2016, former Prime Minister Frank Bainimarama said that all LGBTI people in Fiji should move to Iceland. Also in 2016, the military was very loud with its homophobia, and according to one advocate who married his husband in a different country, if his relationship had been found out they would have been taken to the barracks.

There is a long going fight in Fiji concerning the safety of LGBT+ people. There are high rates of violence against them, and they feel unsafe going to the police. Rabuka, the current Prime Minister, has made no statements.

Sources: 1 2 3 4

Vanuatu

Homosexuality is legal in Vanuatu, and they have a form of pride that is not the traditional march. Vanuatu pride is run by V-Pride, an LGBT+ organization. Every year since 2020, V-Pride has run a fashion show. In 2021, six designers showed more than 80 outfits to over 500 guests. In a historic moment, Honorable Ralph Regenvanu spoke at this event. He talked about how important it is to talk about V-Pride and its contributions to fashion and society, and about the importance of Vanuatu reaching its obligations, both nationally and internationally, to leave no one behind.

V-Pride offers testing for STI’s and information.

Sources: 1 2 3

Tonga

In May of 2021, the president of Tonga Leitis Association was murdered. They were described as  “a selfless humanitarian and a tireless advocate for the rights of those with diverse sexual orientations, gender identities and gender expressions.” by the association. Polikalepo Kefu was a well respected individual in the community, and spoke for people all through the Pacific Islands. The association was created 1992 and specifically advocates for trans and otherwise gender variant people in Tonga. They provide healthcare, and services to people with AIDS/HIV.

In 2018, a rugby player named Israel Folau spoke against homosexuality. In response, Honorable Frederica Tuita Felipe sent out several tweets.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Tuvalu

While Tuvalu was a signatory in 2011 to end violent homophobia and transphobia, and representatives sat in on a campaign by the UN to end Homophobia and Transphobia, it’s still illegal. Kind of. Tuvalu laws specifically only prohibit men from having sex with each other. Tuvalu does have a transfeminine identity called Pinapinaaine, and Canada sent a report to Tuvalu about how their laws can be fixed to accommodate queer people in 2014. 

Sources: 1 2 3 4

Zimbabwe

Links: 1 2 3 4 5 6 Please note these are links to articles I was going to use as a starting point for research.

Part 1

Part 7<-Announcement->Part 9

Please support this project by checking out the LGBT+ Identities and Experiences survey in our link tree! Also, a full description of this project is being posted in our discord!

Pride Month Calendar for this project

Tell me in replies if you want to be tagged!

[muu-kun]

It has been a hot minute since I've posted Muu updates, especially in regards to mental health developments, so here go:

Though it isn't entirely lifted from him as bouts of it can still occur should he forget to take his medication, his medication no longer aids him per an ineffective dosage, or should other factors such as placing himself into highly stressful and triggering events occur, his diagnosis of Alice in Wonderland Syndrome is a mute point. Through some additional testing, much of which he admittedly wished to refuse to his own denial that the medical professionals he was going through would find what they were looking for, it was surprising to find that what was causing his bouts of it to begin with was none other than epilepsy. He'd known himself to have a genetic anomaly caused by his form of Kallmann Syndrome that is linked to such condition, such as it is with adhd, and autism, both of which he also has been diagnosed with at different points in his life; however, he had serious doubts about having it himself as he'd never experienced anything he'd have considered to be seizure, or seizure-like even, in his entire life. What he'd later find by holding onto such a statement on such observations is that he simply didn't know the complexities of such a condition. It was unknown to him that seizures were not entirely full body, and instead could be isolated to jerking within the hand, or fingers. There could have even nine at all, as he found out, but instead an offset stare accompanied by a complete lack of body movement. He'd been hearing his whole life that he had the tendency of appearing out of it, or captured by his own mind, yet his contribution to that had always been that perhaps he just wasn't a very bright individual. Only when his absence seizures were replaced by what he'd have later found out to be focal seizures after finding himself concerned about progressively appearing spasms in his pointer fingers specifically did he get to an opportunity of finding more about himself than he truthfully wished to do so personally. Even so, he is still plenty appreciative of the discovery, because now he is on an epilepsy medication. He's thus far been on it the entire month of July without mentioning to anyone. With it becoming otherwise public knowledge at this point, he can at least also share it with the associated knowledge that he hasn't experienced even one instance of feeling very small in a oversized world. If anything, he's actually only found himself offhandedly mentioning the wish to be taller before moving on to better, more practical uses for his focus and time.

Rumination and insomnia are also null in their placements on the board. Nights in which he'd be up until 2, maybe even three in the morning, or ones in which he'd be able to get himself to sleep with limited issue yet would wake up hourly with immense problems getting back to sleeping peacefully, have entirely been replaced by those in which he's lights out on or before 10:00pm and stays deep in slumber until 6:00am the next morning to begin his daily routine unbothered. This is an incredibly exciting development for Muu personally as he still distinctly recalls how difficult it was for him to get even an ounce of rest leading up to and during the pandemic as he would be ruminating about every decision and mistake he'd ever made his entirely life up until his great sadness was enough to lure him into sleeping. It is also of interest to him when it comes to even present conflicts, and how they fail to impact his ability to sleep as they would've years, or even weeks ago. I take for example how the situation between himself and Calix affected him versus the latest one with himself and Sully ( character / blog mentions: @tximidity). In the case involving being informed by the then stranger to him, Calix, that he possess a victim complex, that initiated him into Stressed Mode completely. It embedded itself under his skin enough to lead to not only a nightmare based on the experience, but he also found the high levels of worry he was placing onto his body as a result of a comment he believes was most certainly not intended to hurt him that badly led him to one (which is still thought to be too many in his mind, especially considering his age and degree of health) instance of nocturnal enuresis. Fast forward to being told by Sully that the pair were essentially no longer friends, something that of course Muu would not wish to hear for a number of reasons associated with underlying trauma. As of yet, even, has that hindered his quality of sleep? No, actually it hasn't. It has a tendency to eat at him during the day, yes, but surprisingly once his body is ready for rest, it doesn't allow for even a single thought to disturb him from falling asleep the moment his head hits the pillow. Even on occasions in which he is pulled from sleep by his dog, Match, needing a late into the night bathroom break, or even just a sip of water, he doesn't find himself on dwelling on anything beyond his wishes to go back to sleep-- which, as it would, are granted just as immediately as they are at the start of his rest hours prior. He hasn't been able to sleep so soundly since he was SIXTEEN years old. It might not be an incredibly exciting thing to celebrate, but he's joyful over it all the same.

Additional things to consider:

No, none of this is to even suggest the narrative that he is Healed. I can list right now all the reasons in which that is NOT true:

Self esteem is still non-existent. No matter how much he'd like to be able to even say one positive thing about himself, he unfortunately can not. Any attempt at doing so continues to be met with a voice informing him that he is either incorrect in his opinion, or that there is some other factor about himself so heinous that any posivity in any other area becomes void of merit. Even in a situation in which a loaded firearm is placed to his head, and the only thing determining if he lives or dies in that moment is the ability to list even just one thing about himself that he likes, he'd unfortunately perish due to being absolutely unable to compliment himself.

He still can't keep a consistent job as his mental stability is realistically anything but. Leaving the house is an incredible feat that he admittedly can't always find himself able to accomplish. This is especially true on days he's filled himself with the narrative that he lacks friends, and is otherwise incapable of being saved due an inability to maintain a consistent social group to call his own. Loneliness and grief has truly been eating at him in excruciating doses lately, so really he's only managed to make into work in the instances in which he's messaged directly by his supervisor informing him that he's personally needed for assistance in or outside filming that day. Even then, his appearances within the establishment are limited to only a couple in the late afternoon to seven at the latest as he is not one to like to be anywhere but at home getting comfortable by 7:30 - 8:00pm.

He's still attending daily inpatient care. Per the recommendation of his therapist to attend group therapy, and as a result of some days being exceptionally cruel to himself in manners he's not comfortable addressing, he's been checking himself into his local mental health clinic every Monday through Friday. It starts sharply at 8am, and he stays throughout the entirety of it up until the last minute rolls into 3:00pm. He's very fortunate that his therapist was able to get him into the program free of charge by way of reaching out to them directly with information revealing Muu to be on a limited income due to government funding and a mental health related unemployment history. Truthfully, on days in which he misses out on attending by way of either sleeping in, or other necessary expectations rise up instead, he quite literally cries in distress over it. He's never fit into a group before, or at least not for an incredibly lengthy, or consistent period of time, but there he does. Not only are there people healing alongside him, but there's also numerous trained professionals and volunteers alike on the premises all there to be helpful towards those ongoing journeys. Of course he prefers to participate in activies and sessions ran by older staff members there, especially the male's unsurprisingly, as he likes to refer to them as being "real" grown-ups to his.. not so great strategies at being one.

[therosecitysreality]

The issue of homelessness in the Portland Area is ongoing. It is not only in the minds of the government but also in the hearts and minds of many individuals and organizations working to end homelessness and help those in need. After much research, I have found that countless programs and organizations work day and night to address this issue. The crisis in Portland involves a complex web of stakeholders with differing roles and responsibilities in addressing this issue. Some of these stakeholders include local and city governments, nonprofit organizations, homeless individuals experiencing homelessness themselves, healthcare providers, law enforcement, advocacy groups, religious organizations, and community members who care about this pressing issue. Despite the differences in the mentioned stakeholders, they all aim to address the homelessness crisis and end the ongoing suffrage. In 2022, Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler met with 180 community stakeholders to discuss adoptive resolutions to homelessness (Portland Gov). Meetings like this continue to take place, and individuals and organizations throughout the area continue to meet in hopes of creating change. 

Portland Rescue Mission is a large non-profit organization based in downtown Portland with nearly seven locations, “Portland Rescue Mission has been tirelessly committed to breaking the cycle of homelessness, addiction, and despair in the lives of hurting people in need (Portland et al.). PRM is one of the most prominent organizations in the Portland area, with nearly 900 volunteers, and brings a massive amount of relief to those experiencing homelessness. 

Similarly, CityTeam is another non-profit organization committed to helping end the homeless crisis in Portland. Their mission statement is “igniting hope, changing lives.” Their orginization is founded on meeting local needs, whether providing food, clothes, or shelter to struggling people. 

As mentioned in my last post, Sisters of the Road is a powerful organization that works to provide a safe, welcoming environment as well as a hot meal for the homeless community. Additionally, SOTR works to build and maintain meaningful relationships with every individual who walks through their cafe doors. “Sisters of the Road uses this space and other programs to build authentic relationships and alleviate the hunger of isolation in an atmosphere of nonviolence and gentle personalism that nurtures the whole individual while seeking systemic solutions that reach the roots of homelessness and poverty in an attempt to end them” (Sisters of the Road). 

Although each of these organizations has a different approach to helping those in need, they all share a common purpose of ending homelessness and helping a hurting community. I had the opportunity to talk with an individual named Brooke Mitchell, who has been a part of a homeless organization called Adopt a Block based in Hillsboro, Oregon, for several years. 

Where does your interest in the issue and care for homelessness come from? “My interest in the issue of homelessness comes from seeing some of my own extended family not only go through homelessness, but extensive drug use as well, which is often a problem within the homeless community, so being able to hopefully help and get them out of that situation is why I have the interest. 

How did you get involved? “I partially got involved because I was doing an internship that required me to do a month's worth of service for Adopt a Block, and I’ve just been hooked ever since; I remember going when I was like 12, but never was officially plugged in until a few years ago.”

What are your views on the issue of homelessness? “My view on homelessness is that they’re just people who have different situations. Maybe if we took the time, even with just one person a month, to genuinely connect with them and help them get out of the situation, they’re in the least some of the issues could be solved, and maybe if we stopped looking at them like outsiders and like I said took time to connect, and help them through and out of their addictions it could end. (I know UGM does things like that and that I’m making a difference.)”

How has adopting a block made a difference in the homeless community? “I think the thing that Adopt a Block does well is being present and connecting. Lots of times, I hear people say that a lot of facilities, after they’ve helped someone out of addiction or out of homelessness and said person is on their feet again, they pack up and leave the person on their own again, which is fine I guess, but to that person that was just pulled out of all that feels like they were just made a “job” or a “charity case.” Hence, the connection is a huge deal even after they’re out of their situation because people aren’t “jobs” or something you need to “fix”. They just need some love and to know. At least someone genuinely truly cares.”

5. What is one story you have heard from a homeless individual that has changed you and your view on the homelessness crisis? “One time, there were two girls my age stuck in a camp with many men. I could only assume they were, unfortunately, being raped… I’m just being honest. drugged up, and one of them was not waking up and hadn’t for days, so we eventually called Emt’s, and she woke up right when they got there. The worst part is at that very moment, I could not do anything to bring them out of that situation, and for some reason, I felt like they didn’t want to be helped I'm still not sure why, but yeah, that changed me because honestly, I could be those girls right now.

It was a pleasure to talk with Brooke about her experience working with the homeless community in the Portland area. Her experiences genuinely demonstrate that the city of Portland needs individuals on the front lines, giving to those who need it the most. 

https://www.sistersoftheroad.org/

https://cityteam.org/who-we-are/

https://portlandrescuemission.org/news/category/shepherds-door/

https://www.portland.gov/wheeler/news/2022/11/14/mayor-wheeler-staff-meet-community-stakeholders-discuss-adopted-resolutions

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

10/16/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

Matthew 9 - 10

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible chronological, It's the 16th day of October and I am Jill and it's so good to be here with you as we journey Through the Bible together in chronological order every day. Until we get Through it together in a year, individually, collectively, and in community. Today we are gonna just settle in and be here for the next few minutes as we open our hearts, our eyes and our ears to see, receive and allow God to do all that He wants to say, do and speak to us Through his Word. Today, we're reading the book of Matthew chapters 9 and 10 today. Matthew Chapter 9. 

Commentary

Today we have a different translation, different interpretation of some of the same stories that we have read. Which is a little funny, because isn't it just like us, we all have different interpretation of the same truth. We all come At it Differently, with a different perspective, different angle, different interpretations, still very similar. Yet different. We do, however, in Chapter 10 officially meet the 12 Disciples or apostles. And then we hear that Jesus sends them out with Very specific instructions. And I love the final context of today. Anyone who receives you receives me, and anyone who receives me receives the Father who sent me. If you receive a prophet as one who speaks for God, you will be given the same reward as a prophet. And if you receive righteous people because of their righteousness, you will be given a reward like theirs. And if you give even a cup of cold water To one of the least of my followers, You will surely be rewarded. Jesus, Never, Ever leaves out the least of these. He goes after them, the Poor, The oppressed,  The marginalized, The least likely, And he instructs the disciples in the word today, And we can take that instruction and hear it ourselves. And go if it mattered to Jesus to tell the 12, That if you even Give a cup of cold water to one of the least Of my followers, You will surely be rewarded. This is just one example of many. It's just one of those hidden things that we scan over, we blaze over in the reading because we glaze and glaze over it sometimes In real life. Let somebody else take care of them. Let somebody else feed them. Let somebody else give them something to drink. I'm gonna humiliate myself for a second. I remember when Brian first started reading the Bible and we were having A conversation I remember where I was standing in the room of our old house talking about somebody that needed help and my response to him Was, God only helps those that are willing to help themselves. Oh, I shudder to say it. I actually said it because I actually believed it. And, He looked at me and said. Yeah, Where is that found at in the Bible? And I was sure it was in there somewhere. It had to be in there because it sounded good, you know, lets us off the hook. God's not going to help somebody that's not willing to help themselves. I'm happy and sad to report both at the same times that I have heard other people say that same statement. I know that I was not alone in my ignorance. However, we are still thinking That that is a thing. And if that is a thing, then honestly there is no need for the gospel. If God truly only helps those that are willing to help themselves.Then we are all in a bit of trouble. To be honest.

Prayer

So, father, we thank you for Your words today. We thank you for the reminder, That if we do for the least of these even a drink Of cold water, A cup of cold water and we will be Rewarded. But what if we could do it without expecting and looking for reward, but do it because You asked us to. It matters to you. It matters to the heart of who you are. We thank you, That you Thought of everybody. That you leave no one out Not even us. We pray this in the name of the Father and the Son, And the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Announcements

Daily Audio Bible. That's home base. Check it out if you haven't, take a look around. Check out the store, the resources, a couple of exciting things coming up and can't talk about them just yet, But stick around, and as we enter into the holidays, we will be talking about them very soon. If you would like to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, thank you immensely for your partnership, for your love. For helping us Do it is that we do so that the word of God could continue to go forth into all of the world. If you're giving by mail, it's DAB PO Box 1996, Spring Hill TN 37174. Or click on the give icon. It's up at the top right hand corner Of your mobile phone or look for the give icon on the website as well. If you need prayer, If you'd like to call in and pray for someone that's previously called in, please reach out. Don't go it alone, you just don't have to, someone’s here willing and ready to pray for you. You can call 800-583-2164 or hit the red circle button. It's up at the top mid section of your mobile device. Make sure you hit submit and turn that wheel to chronological and it will get to the right place. That's going to do it for me today. I'm Jill. We will turn the page together tomorrow. Have enjoyed this time together Listening To the word of God, speak to us, move us, and heal us from the inside out, until tomorrow, I'm Jill, Love one another.

Community Prayer Line

Good morning. It's Heather in Santa Barbara. I have praise report. I went to Nashville to get my braces off. I'm doing air quotes. What ended up happening was I went to a friend's church that I would never have gone to, and the pastor that ended up speaking was not the pastor, nor has anybody ever seen this pastor that spoke. And the take away was Heather, if you speak as if you were homeless Jobless, destitute, depressed, completely just strung out from no sleep, Then that's what you are going to have eventually, and the Lord is going to work against you eventually. Mind your words. And I just was broken over my words and. After church, I went up to pray with the pastor and took communion, And I felt energized. I was up at 2:00 in the morning. I'd have flight all day. It was 11:30 at night. And I was still energized, went to bed, got so much sleep because the house that I slept in is insulated. And I thought, oh, you know, that's that's just the reason why I slept. So as the days have gone on, I've been home for three days. I feel released as if there has been a wet blanket released from my path and walking into it, I'm no longer being held back and nothing has changed except I come back to my uninsulated house and I'm sleeping. So thank you Lord, for convicting me that my sleep was my idol, my health was my idol, my job, my money, my everything was my idol. And it's been a couple years since then, Just felt really funky and I felt like a New Girl. So new wine, new wine skins. Thank you Lord.

Good morning, DABC, this is under construction and I am just hoping please if you guys could please pray for both myself and my other half that we both find.Or that he finds a good job and that I find a good second job for the weekends. I'm not having a lot of luck, but I know that God is faithful and you know, he has always put me in the most amazing situations with different positions. And we're just really running on a very Very tight time frame and we have a A lot on the line that comes down to financial and so please just keep us in your prayers. I hope everyone is having a wonderful, fabulous day. It is super early in the morning driving through the country it I am just So thankful for where God has put us in what we are able to enjoy. And I just I It's just stressful, All right, Everyone stay blessed.

Good morning, DABC. This is Cheryl from San Antonio, TX and just calling in to pray For us all, I know there's so much going on in the world, so much conflict, so much uncertainty, and I just wanted to come and pray for us all. So, Father God, I lift everyone, every member that's a part of this community, and I pray for your covering. I pray for your protection. I pray for your peace, for your joy. I pray that you would just settle us in this season. For we are standing in need of you. And so God, I pray that you would just begin to visit us in our dreams, begin to visit us at our workplace, begin to visit us and our family life. Just in everything that we do, that God that your presence will be known and felt, I pray God that we would begin to hear you more clearly in our everyday of life. It will hear you leading and guiding us, hear you speaking on to us on which way to go, which way not to go, God. I just pray that you would just be so big in our lives, and I pray that your spirit will begin to consume our flesh, that we would let go our old ways of thinking and embrace your way of thinking That fear is not consuming us. That doubt is not consuming us. That lack is not consuming us. But we trust that you will provide all of our needs according to your riches and glory, that you have not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind. And so I thank you for what you're doing, for us, for how you're making away, how you're opening doors, how you're providing. Protecting how you're being with this and how you're being for. I just pray Your peace will just begin to consume us in your joy and the mighty matchless name of Jesus Christ. I pray, thank God. God bless you all. Have a wonderful day. Bye. 

[florasearle]

Gen Z Loneliness

Community is an innate desire for humans, and this is clear when observing our ancestral history. Being a part of a tribe was part of your identity and you were required to make connections, you’d simply die without them. This extends to the contemporary discussion of motherhood and the difficulties faced by the lack of community, placing all responsibility on the mother. That’s a whole other discussion, but it is a great demonstration of how contemporary attitudes have altered a basic human need for connection and community.

Telstra Talking Loneliness report found that 54% of Gen Z felt regularly lonely, a figure significantly higher than any other generation. A big part of Gen Z life is social media, but this contributes largely to loneliness as you can view the activities of others, creating feelings of inadequacy.

However, a positive part of social media is the connection it can bring between communities. Sokarno states how’s it’s important to have “the same values and interests” in forming a connection with someone. Of course, that is not all of what makes up a relationship but, it is a starting point. Connection being my focus for some of the merchandise I’m producing, this evidence backs the point of Gen Z needing community, which can be found in reading.

As a Gen Z myself, I can say since leaving primary school and up until university, I had been entirely isolated. Having no friends ultimately led to a severe depression, and the effects of prolonged loneliness still impact me today. Human connection is so important and it’s something you don’t appreciate till it’s taken from you. The only glimpses of friendship I would have were in relation to my interests at the time: finding communities online and at conventions. I strongly believe my interests kept me going. This is why the theme of community in this project is so important to me.

This book explores the human desire for connection and is my source for this information.

Visual Display of Community

I wanted to look at a case study to support the generation of community through outward displays of interests. This made me think to badges, where they serve as a multitude of purposes, but their history is present in rebellion.

“For every cultural or political upheaval, there has seemingly been a badge to accompany it”.

One of the first examples of badges are within the suffragettes movement, where the message “Votes for Women” adorned their rosette badge. Punks during the 70’s were also known to customise their coats with anti-thatcher slogans. Of course, this collective show of rebellion generated these communities and bought like-minded individuals together.

Badges have always been an outward statement, and this is the same effect I want to achieve in my bracelet charms.

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Ch. 2 Finding Out (Family/Friends)

Prev 

AO3

@maribat-bdbwm

“Mari!” Adrien yells, running past Batman to sweep her up in a hug. Marinette’s face instantly heats up, but she buries herself into the hug. After all, it’s not every day she faces a supervillain determined to kill her with a dangerous weapon...without her suit, anyway.

“I’m okay. I’m okay.” Marinette reassures him, relishing in the comfort. A cleared throat makes her jump back and look at Batman who, despite clearing his throat and cutting off the most amazing hug ever, has no emotions on his face. Whatsoever. Cause that’s not intimidating or anything.

“The police will need your statement, Miss Dupain Cheng.” Batman says. Marinette nods, squeaking when Adrien reaches down and entwines his fingers with hers. Following Batman’s directions to the awaiting police, Marinette feels nerves flood her systerm as she sees the sheer number of officers on the other side of the door. Sucking in a deep breath, she feels Adrien squeeze her hand. Shooting him a thankful smile, Marinette uses her unattached hand to open the door and step out into the mess of personnel. A man with a mustache and square glasses steps forward immediately, his hand extended.

“Hello Miss Dupain Cheng. I’m Commissioner Jim Gordon. We were in communication with Batman while he was inside so we heard some of what happened. Would you be comfortable telling us what happened? We can get you checked over by paramedics first, if you want.” Commissioner Gordon says.

“Oh, no, no. I’m fine. I don’t-” She starts to say, but a gruff voice cuts her off.

“She should be examined immediately, Gordon. She may have inhaled smoke from the smoke bombs due to proximity. She also could have burns to her face or ears from Joker’s gun. He shot it and then proceeded to prod her with it.” Batman says, the last part of his ‘report’ slightly more gruff than the first. Was he…..worried about her? Marinette shakes that thought off almost immediately. Why would Batman be worried about her? Wait, was he really going to make her see the paramedics when all she wanted to do was talk to the officers so she could get back to the trip?

“I assure you, Monsieur Batman, Monsieur Gordon, I don’t need to see the paramedics. I’m a little shaky, but that’s all. I mean, I was held at gunpoint. I think shaky is appropriate, non?” Marinette asks, flashing the two a bright smile. Gordon raises an eyebrow and glances at Batman who shakes his head stiffly.

“She gets examined.” He says, leaving no room for questions as he pulls his grappling hook (?!?!) out and retreats to the rooftop.

“You heard the man. We can talk as you’re examined, if you’d prefer. I’m sure you just want to put this whole business behind you.” Commissioner Gordon says kindly. Marinette sighs in relief and nods, smiling again at the man. Hopefully this would be taken care of quickly. --- Bruce Wayne was slightly panicking, though he would never admit it. When reports of the Joker being spotted at the Gotham City Museum of Modern Art first rolled in, he assumed his biggest challenge would be keeping Jason from murdering the clown. He did not expect to see a small girl being held at gunpoint. A girl who looked like a strange mix between his mother, and someone else. But he couldn’t place his- of course. Memories flood his mind as he thinks back to the woman who was so clearly related to the small girl. Bridgette Le. A woman that he, at one time, thought he would be able to spend the rest of his life with. Until she left Gotham and cut off all contact between the two. Oh god. She wouldn’t….would she? --- “I don’t understand why that older paramedic looked like she’d seen a ghost.” Marinette says with a pout as she continues working on the embroidery for a jacket for Jagged. Design never sleeps.

“What d’ya mean?” Adrien asks from his nest of blankets on her bed. Marinette tries to focus on keeping her blush down. Apparently, the attack at the museum had scared Adrien more than her, though she imagined he was scared on her behalf. But she couldn’t quite understand why...nevertheless, he had become attached at her hip and hadn’t left her side since they got back to the hotel. Even though all she really wanted was a little alone time to talk to Tikki. Especially about the chance of the Miraculous Cure working here. Maybe if she was in the battle…

“Didn’t you notice? He was fine til he looked into my eyes and then he got super pale. He looked like he was going to say something, but Monsieur Gordon stopped him before he could.” Marinette recounts, remembering the way the paramedic had to switch out since his hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

“I didn’t notice that. That’s weird. Anything else happen like that today?” Adrien asks, finally sitting up and giving her his full attention. Marinette pauses her stitching and purses her lips as she runs the days events back through her head. The paramedic. Batman. Joker. Arriving late to the museum. The cab ride. Being left at the hotel. Coffee-

“Well,” Marinette starts, furrowing her eyebrows as she tries to rationalize the man’s actions in addition to the actions of the paramedic. But something wasn’t adding up. “There was my cab ride to the museum.”

“What happened? Was someone creepy? I can fight them for you!” Adrien offers, a little too cheery. Marinette freezes as she studies his face, searching for something. Adrien had been off all day. More protective than he’d been in awhile. And the few times Lila had spoken, he had scowled at her instead of ignored her. Was he finally coming around to the idea that the high road would not work with Lila? Pushing those thoughts off for another time, Marinette shakes her head.

“No, no. Nothing like that. But as I was leaving, he called me Miss Wayne.” Marinette admits, not expecting Adrien’s uncontrollable laughter.

“He, you, oh my god!” He laughs, clutching his sides. Marinette’s eyebrows furrow in confusion as she sets the jacket down on the desk.

“What?” She asks, completely and totally frustrated with the situation. Adrien laughs for another minute before calming down, wiping tears from his eyes and shooting her a blinding smile. Not his model smile. An actual smile that warms her heart and her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry Mari. It’s just, I think he was referring to the fact that you look like the typical kid Bruce Wayne adopts.” Adrien says and Marinette’s blood freezes.

“Did you say Bruce Wayne?” Marinette asks and Adrien nods, his previous mirth wiped from his face.

“Yeah, Mari, are you okay?” He asks. Marinette nods, then shakes her head, then groans and throws up her arms in frustration.

“I don’t know! I just- you remember how I told you I’m adopted?” She asks. Adrien nods, then stops. A look of mixed terror and awe flooding his face.

“Oh god, Mari. You never told me the name. Your birth father-”

“His name is Bruce Wayne. But there’s gotta be hundreds if not thousands of Bruce Waynes in the US right?” Marinette asks, even as her hope in that idea dwindles.

“The US? He’s confirmed from the US?” Adrien asks, already pulling out his phone.

“Yes. Adrien, what are you doing?” She asks, suddenly worried as she jumps onto the bed next to him, desperately trying to see his phone.

“I’m googling Bruce Wayne and Bridgette Le as a combined search. Wayne is one of the most prominent figures in Gotham, all of his previous relationships have photographic evidence. Except for whoever the mother of his youngest is. But that’s probably because he wasn’t in the country at that time.” Adrien says, typing away furiously on his phone. Marinette’s eyebrow quirks up in amusement.

“Since when were you a master researcher?” She asks with a grin.

“Since one of my best friends found out she’s adopted and it could be the man who hosts the only palatable high society parties. Seriously. And they’d be much better if you were there and-holy shit. Your bio mom looks just like you!” Adrien exclaims, turning the phone to her. Marinette inhales deeply and thanks whatever power there is that she’s not in Paris right now. The emotions running over her at an indescribable speed...not all of them are positive. And they’re all overwhelming as she looks at a picture that very clearly shows her bio mom with Bruce Wayne. As in the Gotham Bruce Wayne. Not a different unknown Bruce Wayne across the country somewhere. Nope. A man who is apparently prominent enough that Monsieur Agreste makes his son go to the man’s parties.

“I don’t suppose she just had a type for men named Bruce Wayne?” Marinette says weakly. This was not what she expected. --- This was exactly what he expected. Looking at the birth records for one Marinette Le, where he’s noted as the father. Though why he wasn’t notified before the girl’s custody was signed over to Sabine Cheng, he’ll never understand. His jaw clenches as he continues reading, eyes scanning over Bridgette’s death certificate before glancing back at Marinette’s birth certificate. A daughter. He had a daughter. Another child that he would never be able to hold when they were small. Another child that grew up without him. Another child that he didn’t meet until they were already a person. Someone with their own experiences individual from his own, someone that may not even know he had found them. And that he wanted nothing more than to get to know someone who was brave enough to stand between the Joker and her friends. Someone who was determined not to let what should have been the most traumatic experience in her life be a set back. He had a daughter. And he wanted to meet her.

***

Next

Note, my headcannon is that the paramedic that panicked did so because he was one of the first responders the night that the Waynes were murdered. And while she looks a lot like her birth mom, Marinette also definitely has Martha Wayne’s eyes and the paramedic could NOT deal. Also, let me know if you want tagged!

Tag List: @jjmjjktth

[norahastuff]

penny for your thoughts on salmondean codependency ?

Sure. Fair warning it’s long (was longer but I stopped myself.)

I think it’s complicated in a show that’s had so many different showrunners because they’ve all handled Sam and Dean’s relationship very differently. In Kripke’s era (s1-5) there was a romanticization of the bond. Sure there was a lot of in-depth exploration of how they wound up at the place they were at, spoiler alert: it was all because of John and his obsessive crusade to find the demon that killed his wife. That’s all he cared about and as a result, Sam and Dean had to be everything to each other. But Kripke had no intention of dismantling that at any point because he was (and always had been) writing a tragedy. Gamble continued that too. There was no room for anyone else in their lives and it would always just be the two of them against the world. So Cas had to go. Bobby had to go.

(Actually, it's funny because Gamble didn't intend this at the time, her plan was to kill Cas off, but by Edlund creating the masterpiece that is The Man Who Would Be King, he not only saved Cas from being seen as a villain, but he also deepened Dean and Cas' relationship in such a profound way and inextricably linked the two of them emotionally. And since Cas was eventually brought back, that laid the foundation for a lot of what their relationship would become.)

Up until this point, there hadn’t really been any significant dismantling of perhaps the more unhealthy parts of Sam and Dean’s relationship. Enter Carver. He stripped things down and started to explore what drove these characters. What they wanted and why they couldn’t have it. It starts with Dean being mad at Sam for not looking for him in purgatory, which sets up the whole speech in the s8 finale of Sam’s guilt about letting Dean down, but the thing is, Dean was never honest with Sam about his year away either. He never told Sam he could have gotten out much sooner if he hadn’t stayed to find Cas. I mean Dean had assumed Sam was up there alone doing God knows what to try to bring him back, and yet still he stayed in Purgatory because things were clear there. He needed Cas. Anyway, I just find that interesting, but Cas isn’t a victim of Sam and Dean’s relationship in s8.

Who gets the honour of being cast aside? That would be Benny and Amelia, two characters they introduced in s8 specifically to highlight that Sam and Dean’s relationship doesn’t allow for anyone else to be a significant part of their life. I mean that’s nothing new, we’ve watched that happen many times before. Lisa even said as much to Dean. The thing is this time? It’s framed as a truly sad thing. That moment at the end of 8x10 when Dean has just ended things with Benny and Sam leaves Amelia, and they’re sitting alone drinking beer and watching tv is such a hollow empty moment. This is not what they want. But it’s the way things have to be.

I’m actually fascinated by Sam and Dean’s conversation in the church in the s8 finale. Not so much Dean’s assertion that there is no one else he would put before Sam, but more so what provokes it, which is Sam saying “who are you going to turn to instead of me. Another angel? Another vampire?” See the thing is Dean saying he would always put Sam first is not news. We know this and it’s not really an unhealthy statement in itself either. A lot of people would put their sibling above anything else, not less a sibling who you raised and is the most important person to you. But in this context? After what Sam said? It just highlights how unhealthy they are if Sam believes that Dean having other people in his life means he doesn’t love him enough. That he’s a disappointment to him. That’s so profoundly fucked up.

(Note, Dean tells Sam that he killed Benny for him but he doesn’t say anything about Cas. I think like I said before, this is because Cas and Dean’s relationship has largely existed out of the Sam and Dean stuff up to this point - Sam and Cas don’t even really have much of a relationship yet besides both of their connections to Dean.)

And then from here, things start getting steadily worse. But we also keep being shown how bad they are. Dean lying to Sam, taking away his free will by letting Gadreel possess him. Dean sending Cas away, Kevin dying. It’s all awful. The whole “there ain’t no me if there ain’t no you line” from 9x01 isn’t really said by Dean, it’s Gadreel, but that is how Dean feels. He does think that’s all he’s good for. And over the season we’re shown how much of himself and what he truly wants he’s had to give up because of his ingrained “Save Sammy” and “Sammy comes first” mentality. It’s always been this way for him. In 9x07 we see that he had found a happy home, a good father figure, and his first love, a first love might I add that he had to leave behind with no real explanation because Sam needed him, and Sam comes first.

I mean just one episode earlier we had him rushing out the door elated about seeing Cas and spending time with him, only for their time together to come to sad and melancholic end when Dean once again leaves Cas behind without any real explanation, because despite what he wants Sammy comes first. What he wants doesn’t matter.

See I think after the Gadreel stuff comes out is where the narrative starts to get a little wonky for me. You can clearly see that this was intended to be a shorter story that they ended up stretching out to a much longer one because of renewals. There’s also the fact that this is a formula show so they can’t necessarily be separated for longer than an episode or two. S10 is a rough one to get through at times, I think the themes still mostly hold up but it’s a rough one to get through.

S10 highlights all the connections that Dean has, Cas, Charlie, Crowley even, but Sam doesn’t really have those bonds in the same way.  For Sam it’s just Dean, so he goes down a reckless destructive “do anything to save Dean!” path and so many innocents pay the price, and ultimately with the release of The Darkness, the whole world.

They skirted right up to the edge of exploring just how toxic and dangerous their relationship had become in the season 10 finale.

DEAN: I let Rudy die. How was that not evil? I know what I am, Sam. But who were you when you drove that man to sell his soul... Or when you bullied Charlie into getting herself killed? And to what end? A..a good end? A just end? To remove the Mark no matter what the consequences? Sam, how is that not evil? I have this thing on my arm, and you're willing to let the Darkness into the world.

I can’t say evil is the right word, they were never evil, but they were wilfully blind to everything and everyone else when it came to saving each other. S10 tested my love for the show because after watching it, because there was certainly a feeling that the two of them had become the villains of this story. And don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have a problem with that, it’s just after 2 seasons of this I can’t say I had a lot of faith that this was going to be properly addressed or if we were going to keep going in circles around it. Keep being shown, it’s bad and then nothing much being done to fix it. Your mileage may vary on how it was handled, but I think s11 did a relatively ok job considering it wasn’t the end of the story, and the show needed to keep going.

See from Dean’s side a lot of the codependency rests on 1. His father’s orders to always save Sammy 2. His low self-esteem where he sees himself as nothing but a blunt instrument. 3. His guilt at not being able to perfectly fulfil every familial role in Sam’s life 4. His belief that no one could choose to love him but family has to love you. 5. The unhealthy example of what it should look like to love someone that he got from John. You give up everything but them.

For Sam (and honestly it’s not as clear for me as Dean’s side is so feel free to correct me/disagree on this) 1. Everytime he’s tried to leave and create his own life it’s never ended well. 2. His guilt over wanting freedom and a normal life when he was younger (I’m referring specifically to Stanford era here) 3. His guilt over everything Dean has given up for him. 4. John. 5. Jess.

Ultimately it all comes down to isolation. They both had to be everything to each other, and the deeper they got into this fight, the more people that they lost, the tighter they clung to this notion of family and brothers. I think s11 (and 11x23 in particular) was an important turning point, both for Sam and Dean’s relationship, as well as for them as individuals. Because they weren’t alone there anymore. Cas was there. Sam let Dean walk to his death. Of course, it would devastate him, but he knew it was what had to be done. And he didn’t walk out of that bar and go back to the bunker alone. He had Cas, he had someone who cared about him and wanted to help him and talk to him. Sure Dean asked Cas to take care of Sam for him (you know after Cas offered to walk to his death with him) but Sam let him. He let him be there for him. We didn’t get to see much before the BMOL showed up and blasted Cas away, but still, we saw enough.

I think that’s a significant difference to note why their relationship was different in the Dabb era. It wasn’t just them anymore. Cas was an important member of their family and given a level of importance he’d never been given before and couldn’t have been when the story they were telling was of the dangers of their codependency. Mary was back. Eventually, Jack would become a part of their unit too. Just the two of them wasn’t enough for them anymore. This is made abundantly clear with all of Dean’s desperate attempts to get Cas to stay in s12, followed by his inability to keep going when they lose Cas and Mary in s13. Similarly, Sam really struggles when they lose Jack and fail to get Mary back later in the season.

Another big moment is Dean letting Sam go alone to lead the hunters against the BMOL in 12x22 while he stays back to try and reach Mary. Like he tells Mary, he’s had to be a brother, a father and a mother to Sam and he never stopped seeing him as his kid, but in that moment he makes a choice. He lets Sam take charge and he shows that he trusts him and believes in him. He knows he can handle it.

Sometimes it’s not even a character growth thing. Sometimes having other people there stops you from making destructive choices even though that’s still your first instinct. I’m thinking specifically of 13x21 after Sam was killed. Dean would have run headlong into that nest of vampires and got himself torn apart, but Cas was there to stop him. He was able to make him see reason.

Basically, I think that for a long time, they thought the only relationship they could have was each other, which then became a self-fulfilling prophecy because their desperate attempts to keep each other around led to them losing the people around them. They eventually started to learn that that wasn’t true, they could have more, they were allowed to want more, and that it wasn’t an either-or situation. Dean didn’t have to choose between Sam and Cas. They didn’t have to choose between each other or Jack. The same goes for Mary. Different relationships can coexist without threatening each other, and not say that their relationship in s12-15 was all smooth sailing, but it was certainly so very different from everything that came before.

(There’s maybe a point to be made about how they didn’t have anyone or anything in the finale and how that relates to the story we got, but honestly I have no idea what the intention was with any of the choices made in that episode so I’ll leave it at that for now.)

[cacoetheswriting]

library hours [reimagined] - spencer reid

warnings: age gap, professor / student, maybe a swear word or two, a lil tension, but mainly a fluffy first interaction word count: 1.7k summary: a late night at the university library leads to reader meeting a certain handsome professor.

a/n: this is a reimagined / rewritten version of this fic. for those interested, the original centres around baby!spencer. both fics start off pretty much the same, what differs is the interaction between spencer and reader.

-

There was something you always enjoyed about the going to the library.

Perhaps it was the way every single person that walked through the threshold had a purpose. A mission to complete. Perhaps it was the quiet. The solace you felt sitting alone in a corner researching various topics, for class and for recreational purposes.

The university library had quickly become your second home. A location you frequented more than your own dorm room. It wasn’t always to study, no. You people watched. Doodled. Even napped there from time to time. The place brought you peace, and by the time you senior year rolled around, you saw the librarians more than your college friends.

The university library was also the place where you first met a certain handsome professor, doctor - which in time became the main reason why you liked it so much.

Lights were slowly being turned off section by section. A vacuum came to life in one of the aisles. People started to scramble from their seats - shoving their things into their backpacks, throwing out empty coffee cups into the overflowing bins, checking out books they might still use that evening.

All signs indicating it was time to go.

Dolly, one of the librarians, ushered towards you. Her jacket draped over her shoulders, her bag in hand. She gave you the usual spiel of how you can stay until the janitor is finished cleaning, to which you politely nodded along. She wished you a pleasant night, and with a “see you tomorrow” she hurried out the door.

Once she was out of sight, you groaned under your breath and ran your fingers through your hair. You had an assignment due tomorrow, one you started hours ago and only managed to formulate three total sentences. Your gut was telling you there was no way you were going to finish now, especially since you had about thirty minutes until you would have to leave.

Leaning back in your chair, you fluttered your eyes closed in an attempt to collect your thoughts. The tranquil feeling didn’t last long however, as you were abruptly brought back to reality by someone loudly clearing their throat. You immediately sat back up and quickly scanned the space for the source of the interruption.

A tall brunette man stood a few tables away, his hands slowly sliding into the pockets of his pants. He was definitely older, by how much you couldn't quite tell. But, you definitely took notice of how handsome he was.

“The library is closed for the night.” He stated, the tone of his voice calm yet stern.

“I have permission to be here.” You retorted with as much confidence as you could muster, but the mysterious man didn't seem impressed with your answer. With an arched brow, he took a firm step in your direction.

“From who?” He challenged, as if he was waiting to catch you in a lie.

You folded your arms across your chest, unwilling to give in to whatever game he was playing. “Dolly, the librarian. I could call her if you don't believe me?”

The brunette didn’t respond. Instead, his lips twirled slightly upwards into a sly smirk and with the way he was now looking at you, you could feel the blood rush to your cheeks. You only hoped he didn't see the faint pink blush now present on your facial features.

“May I?” The man asked after a brief moment of silence, pointing to to the chair beside yours. You found yourself nodding, before quickly turning your attention away from him, and back to the book in front of you.

While he made himself comfortable, his leg brushed against yours. The sudden close contact sent a jolt down your spine and you shivered. A small act he definitely noticed.

“You’re not some sort of killer, are you? You’re not here to murder me?” You asked, tilting your head to once again look at the man. Shaking his head, he let out a wholehearted chuckle.

“No, I’m definitely not a murder.” He reassured.

“Definitely? That's over selling it, don't you think? It’s exactly the kind of thing a murder would say.” You teased in response, gaining a little bit of your courage back. He didn't reply. The smirk on his face widened just a little and he eyed you silently, as if you were a treasure map he was desperate to solve.

The two of you stared at one another for what felt like eternity. There was something amicable about the seconds that passed as you looked into his hazel eyes. Something harmonious. Friendly. Strong.

When you finally broke contact and proceeded to return to working on your assignment, you could still feel his gaze burning into the side of your head. In any other situation, with any other stranger, the feeling would have made you uncomfortable. Scared even. But there was something quite thrilling about the mysterious brunette sitting beside you.

“I’m a profiler.” He said after another moment of comfortable silence. “I work for the FBI as part of their Behavioral Analysis Unit.” He added as you glanced up at him from your notes, intrigue gracing your facial features. The statement was to make you feel safer in his presence - not that it was needed since you already felt strangely guarded around him.

You smiled, dropping your pen and shifting in your chair to face him completely. “So, agent, what are you doing at a university library on a Thursday night? Did the bad guys take a break?”

“Doctor.” He calmly corrected.

“What?”

“It’s doctor, not agent.” He said, the corners of his lips twitching upwards. “I have PhDs in Mathematics, Chemistry, and Engineering.”

The smug look on his face earned him a playful eye roll. “You don’t happen to have a PhD in History under your belt, do you, doctor? Because that would be very helpful right about now.”

“No, but I do have an eidetic memory and can read twenty-thousand words per minute.” He declared and you gaped at him in disbelief, mouth parting ever so slightly in shock.

Great, you thought, as if he wasn't intimidating enough.

“You could have just said you were a superhero.” You joked before leaning in towards him ever so slightly. The faint whiff of his cologne caught you off a little off guard, and you took a mental note to never again settle for someone that only used body spray. “Don’t worry, I’m really good with secrets. I won’t tell anyone.” You whispered and gently pressed your index finger to your lips.

The comment caused the handsome doctor to throw his head back in a whole-hearted laugh. He placed a hand on his stomach as you slowly shifted back to your previous position, chewing down on the inside of your cheek down to stop yourself from commenting on how good he looked.

“Am I going to get an answer to my previous question?” You asked once the laughter died down, your assignment long forgotten.

“I teach here.”

The statement earned him another eye roll. “Seriously? Is there anything you don't or can't do?”

It was his turn to lean in. He rested his elbows on his knees and intertwined his fingers together, his hazel eyes never leaving yours. The air hitched in your lungs at his proximity. You felt as if every single cell in your body was shaking.

“Well, us superheroes, we like to stay busy.” He whispered, his cool minty breath hitting you in the process, sending a shiver down your spine.

You cleared your throat, a timid smile appearing on your face. “There uhm, there’s this diner not far from here. It’s twenty-four hours meaning they won’t kick us out. Would you like to come with me? We can have coffee?”

He didn’t say anything. Instead, he moved back in his seat and ran a hand through his already ruffled hair. You bit down on your bottom lip, wondering what was going through his mind. Wondering if perhaps you had overstepped some sort of boundary since he was a professor and you were a student.

But, it was just coffee. Nothing more. That wasn't so bad... Right?

“Coffee sounds nice.” He responded with a smile, after what felt like forever.

Outside, there wasn’t a cloud in the night sky making the million stars shine all that brighter. They looked like perfect sugar granules spilled on a dark surface, accompanied by the glowing moonlight.

The breathtaking sight was accompanied by street lamps. They illuminated the path while you walked side by side, almost in sync. Shoulders faintly brushing against one another.

“How long have you been a profiler?” You asked, looking ahead. The wind blew lightly through your hair causing your brunette companion to turn his head and observe you quietly. A smile crept up on his lips.

“I joined when I was twenty-two.” He answered. You glanced up at him for a brief moment - that wasn't much younger than you now. The look in his eyes suggested he knew that’s what you were thinking.

“Do you like it? Or do you prefer teaching?”

He licked his lips, thinking. As he furrowed his brows together, you noticed the unobtrusive age lines defining his handsome features. Each individual crease telling a different story, and you found yourself hoping you would one day be lucky enough to hear them.

“Every job has its pros and cons.” The brunette man stated eventually, lightly shrugging his shoulders.

You couldn't help but let out a soft giggle at his answer. “Okay professor, now you just sound conventional.”

He chuckled, his hands sliding into the front pockets of his pants. “I’ve been called many things in my life, miss. Conventional was never one of them.”

“It’s Y/N. My name, uhm, my name is Y/N.”

You both stopped once you introduced yourself, simultaneously turning in your spots, so that you were facing each other completely.

“Y/N...” He tested your name on his tongue, and a smile embellished your features because for some reason it sounded incredibly striking coming out of his lips.

“It suits you.” He retorted and the blood rushed to your face. Now, he definitely noticed the blush, you thought. He didn’t comment on it however. Instead, he proceeded to introduce himself, “My name is Spencer. Dr. Spencer Reid.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Spencer Reid.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Y/N.”

-

masterlist

spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no​, @calm-and-doctor​, @idroppedmygourd​​, @averyhotchner, @wowitsel, @elldell1204, @hey-there-angels, @reidabookforonce, @willowrose99

[nanaminokanojo]

"Petty" | Oikawa Toru X You

CHAPTER COUNT: 1/1 CHARACTERS: Oikawa Toru X You | Haikyuu Characters (mentions) WORD COUNT: 3,300+ GENRE: fluff | romance | aged-up characters | university au | oneshot TRIGGER WARNING: profanity | strong/mature language | alcohol use SPOILERS: n/a

collection masterlist

photo/fanart credits to @/oikawalovesyouu on Twitter

"He's self-centered but he's insecure so naturally, he's petty."

Oikawa couldn't shake that comment off his head as he slammed yet another ball into the opposing court, aggressively wiping on the sweat on his forehead. The university gym was already deserted with all his teammates gone yet he was still doing jump serves as if he wasn't already so good at it. He just needed an outlet.

In his head, he was already thinking of counter arguments to what he heard being said about him. It was one sentence. One! And yet he was working up all his brain cells to think of a lengthy rebuttal to every single word in that single statement.

First of all, he wasn't self-centered. He doesn't just think about himself, or so he likes to think. He was sensitive enough to read the room most of the time and he can actually bring the best out of his teammates to the highest degree. An insensitive, selfish prick wouldn't be able to do that without proper observation and lack of awareness for others.

Secondly, he didn't think he was insecure. He didn't have to lift a finger to get the attention he wanted, and it was human to feel envy for those who are better than him because there will always be someone better. It’s just an inevitability he has to deal with.

And lastly, he wasn't petty. He's always been reactive, he knew that, but that was just reaction if not retaliation to those who want to belittle him. That's what he thinks anyway.

But why you had to say those things about him as if you were a female version of Iwaizumi – his best friend who seemed to get off of being too cruelly honest and straightforward about what he thought of Oikawa – was something he didn't understand.

Of course, he was aware of your blatant frankness. He loved that about you. You were just very insistent on your individuality and you had very strong opinions which you stood by without regard to anything. Most of the time anyway. He actually got a kick out of people's reactions when you say something without filtering your words especially when you were children, but like they say, it's never funny when one becomes the receiving end of anything negative.

The larger dilemma was that you were the only girl he sincerely liked, so much so that he was willing to lay down his pride just to have you and call you his. Solely and irrevocably his. But if you thought of him that way, then maybe you actually hated him. It bothered him to no end.

"What the hell did I tell you about over-exertion?" Oikawa heard that familiar deep voice from the direction of the entrance, and before he knew it, the ball crate was being wheeled away from him. "Enough. It's off season."

"Just letting off some steam," Oikawa stated, smiling Iwaizumi's way despite himself.

"You can do that at Kuroo's party," the other male said with finality. "Be out in fifteen." His last words were laced with a threat, and Oikawa didn't have a choice but to do as he was told. The former was right. If it's just to vent out, he could definitely do that at the party.

He couldn't be more wrong in his life.

The moment he entered the premises of Kuroo's house, the first thing he saw was you. You came in just after he did, but you bumped against him without even apologizing as you walked ahead, waving at someone else. You saw him there, but you walked off anyway as if you didn't.

"What the actual fuck?" he couldn't help but blurt out when he saw just who you were talking to.

You've always been agreeable to him as his childhood friend, but you were ignoring him on top of saying bad things about him to your friends. And now, you were talking to Ushijima Wakatoshi whom you knew he disliked with a passion.

The male simply got on his nerves for the fact that he was better at him in the sport they both played. Oikawa also hated how much the guy hounded him to join their team back in high school, talking about how he would be better off. Like how is it better to be in the same team as Ushijima was when he would just outshine him?

His mind started to run amok with questions. What could you possibly want from Ushijima? Better yet, what did he want from you? Since when were you even close to him? Oikawa almost wanted to throw up seeing how you were being buddy-buddy with the cold fish of a guy, actually managing to melt his severe expressions into a soft smile. Were you going out with him now? He couldn't take it.

Without thinking, he grabbed the shoulder of the person who was holding a tray of drinks, taking two shot glasses in his hand, and telling the person to stay where he was standing. He was able to down six shots while standing there, but before he could drink more, Iwaizumi came into view.

"What do you think you're doing?" he demanded gruffly, telling the poor guy with the drinks to scram.

"Not now, Iwa," he snapped, walking towards the direction of the stairs, rudely telling everyone to get out of his way.

He stayed there for almost an hour, trying to calm his nerves but ending up going feral over this couple who were making out as they pushed the door to Kuroo's room where he was lying down on the bed. To say that he killed their mood was an understatement as he harshly told them to fuck off. Nobody dared cross him being the famous star athlete that he was at the university you both attended. It was, however, useless if he finds himself losing even outside of court to Ushijima who was his equivalent in the neighboring school when it comes to volleyball. It left him with a bitter taste at the recesses of his mouth.

When he finally emerged from the room, deciding to get more drinks, he was still in a foul mood, glaring at anyone who would get in his way towards the kitchen. But his plan was all but forgotten when he saw you standing by the archway that led to the kitchen, leaning there as you nursed a plastic cup against your chest.

For the first time that night, he was actually seeing how beautiful you were, dressed in a crop top and tight-fitting jeans which were tattered in most places. As per usual, you were stuck in your own bubble, bobbing your head to the music as if you weren't aware of all the adoring looks you were getting. Well, you were a person who didn't know her strengths and denied them when he tells you. It was just unfair how he always has nice things to say about you but you didn't think the same way about him.

He closed the distance between the two of you, placed his forearm above your head, towering over you, that infamous smirk plastered on his face.

"Hey, baby," he said in a low tone, leaning down until your faces were just inches from one another.

"Hello, darling," you returned, smiling slightly. "I've been looking for you, but Iwa said you ran off somewhere."

"Have you now?" He eyed you seriously. "Weren't you just ignoring me a while ago for Ushijima?"

He wasn't able to elicit the reaction he wanted from you, and instead, you smirked at him. "Eh?" you responded in a dragged out note. "I wasn't with Ushijima for the sake of ignoring you, Toru. The world doesn't revolve around you."

He stood back in indignation, your opinions of him coming out to the surface. "So why were you with him?" He was aware that his tone made it seem like he had any right to be questioning you of your actions. He had been vocal about his attraction to you, but it wasn't as if he was your boyfriend. Still, he couldn't care less at the moment.

"None of your business, sweetheart," you told him, your words at odds to the saccharine smile you flashed him. He found himself disconcerted especially when you reached up and started fixing his fringe. "What are you acting so jealous for?"

Ah, he thought. It wasn't his place to be feeling that way but he didn't want to respond to your question in any way. So, like he did earlier, he stormed off, sticking to his original plan to get wasted.

He didn't want to say things he will regret even if you were being hot and cold. For a while now, he had the feeling that you were toying with him, but whenever he was around, your actions towards him were always the opposite of your words about him as of late. One time you'd be telling him to go away, but as soon as he does, you're grabbing his arm, telling him to sit still beside you. You'd be complaining to him one second that he was being an annoying brat and then sit on his lap peppering his cheeks with kisses. You'd be with another guy but tell him you're looking for him. You were confusing to say the least.

Oikawa didn't know what happened after he walked away from you. But when he finally came to, he had a throbbing headache and he wasn't in his room. He looked around him, straining to keep his eyes open as he took in his surroundings, shooting up from the bed when he realized he was looking at the familiar layout of your bedroom.

He had been there a million times ever since you were kids, and he had been a witness to all the changes your little corner of the world had gone through. He couldn't help but smile despite his feelings and headache at the thought that what was once a room that looked like it was made of cotton candy was now in scales of black and white, surrounded with things that were just so you.

But after all the changes, you still had that framed photo of you and him in grade school, where he was kissing you on the cheek while you grinned wide for the camera. You were wearing the matching shirts your crazy moms got you, and he knew you still kept them somewhere in your room.

Yes, he told himself, I was there before anyone else. You’ve always been the closest to him even when Iwaizumi came into the picture. Even then, he didn’t seem to understand you well enough to actually lay emphasis on the fact that you’ve known each other since you were in diapers.

Just then, you walked into the room, holding a glass of fizzy water. You were wearing only his old volleyball jersey, padding barefoot on the floor. You specifically asked for it when you both graduated from high school and you've been sleeping in it since then.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," you greeted, sitting down on the empty space of the queen bed which he noticed was also slept on. "Drink up."

"What am I doing here?" he asked after downing the whole glass in one go, setting it on the nightstand.

"I took you home. Your mom would have killed you if she saw how fucked up you were last night." You brushed his hair from over his eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Like my head's about to explode," he muttered.

You clucked your tongue. "Why did you have to drink so much anyway?"

Instead of answering you, he laid back down on the bed, turning away from you. He had every intention to ignore you after that, but it wasn't long before he felt you coming closer to him, propping your chin on his arm while you draped yours over his waist.

"You're sulking, Toru."

He took the pillow from under his head to hide his head under it. "I don't wanna do this today, Y/N."

"Do what? What exactly are we doing?"

The audacity to ask, he said at the back of his mind, biting his tongue. He didn't say anything and just stayed still.

"Hey, I asked you a question," you continued to badger him. "You've been acting off since a week ago. What's up?"

He refused to satisfy you with a response thinking you ought to realize what it was exactly that you two had been doing, dancing around each other yet skirting around the real issues between you. You couldn't be that oblivious of his affections and you weren't exactly passive either.

Nevertheless, you always had a way of turning things to your favor, and before he knew it, he was falling off the bed after you kicked him off it, nearly landing face down if it weren't for his fast reflexes.

"Y/N!" he whined, remaining seated on the floor as he clutched on his head. He half expected you to laugh at his predicament, but when he met your eyes, he regretted it, seeing the serious expression you had.

"You should know by now that I hate it when I am denied things I want to know especially those which involve me," you told him, cocking your head to the direction of the bed. You sounded menacing, so far from the gentle voice you always used when talking to him. "Stop being a brat. Get back here and talk to me properly."

"You're the one who kicked me!" he protested as he stood up, doing as he was told nonetheless, sitting up and leaning on the headboard.

"So, what's your problem?"

"I'm jealous of Ushijima," he returned promptly his brown eyes also taking a severe quality to it as he eyed you.

You arched a brow at him. "What's new about that?"

"At least before, he didn't have you, too. Now..." He sighed. "You're friends with him now? What was that about last night?"

"Are you serious right now? I had business with the guy."

Oikawa scoffed. "What business are you talking about that he's all smiles at you like that? He only ever smiles around his girlfriend –"

"Exactly," you countered, openly savoring the look on his face when he realized just what he was saying. "He ordered a huge consignment of rare live flowers for his girlfriend so I informed him it had been delivered. Our family as ikebana* artists and horticulturist do that for a living."

"What?"

You shrugged. "You're assuming things again."

Oikawa blinked, feeling defeated at your sound reasoning, but he still has bones to pick with you. "That's not just my problem with you. What are we really, Y/N? I don't get how you're ignoring me and suddenly being sweet. I'm getting mixed signals here. And don't think for a second that I didn't hear about what you told your friends about me."

He narrowed his eyes at you, smirking when he saw how your eyes rounded, finally able to take you off guard like you usually did to him. For once, he wanted you to lose your footing and come clean about what you really thought about him…how you really felt.

"Hmm. What exactly did I say about you?" you asked, the caution in your tone obvious.

"You know it, Y/N. Don't you dare make me jump all the hoops!" he stated, losing his temper.

You shook your head, not understanding where his choleric attitude was coming from. You knew better than to level your irritation with his, and you were so used to his antics that you found yourself almost unaffected by his crusty demeanor. "I really don't know what you're talking about, Toru."

He glared at you. "You told them you think I'm petty because I'm self-centered but I'm insecure. Ring any bells, sweetheart? And don't lie, I heard it myself."

You ran your hand over your face, frustration emanating from you. At the same time, you wanted to laugh because he looked like an angry kitten instead of the fully grown man he supposedly is.

Oikawa didn't know where your exasperation was coming from when he's supposedly the one feeling it but then you nodded.

"I did say that."

"How could you?" he complained, aware that he sounded like a juvenile dipshit but he didn't know how to react to your lack of denial for it. In the end, he just wanted you to say you didn't mean it even if he already got hurt from hearing it.

"How couldn't I, Toru? That's the truth," you stated, no bars held and your voice ringing clear in the air between you. You were really merciless when it came to voicing out what ran inside your head.

"Well, shit, Y/N. Why didn't you just tell me to my face?" He was about to stand up, but you pushed him down, sitting astride his lap so he wouldn't move. He refused to look at you but couldn’t move at the same time cause he didn’t want to hurt you in any way although he didn’t exactly want you close at the moment. "Get off while I'm being nice about it."

"Iwa and I never fail to tell you every day," you started, placing your hands on either side of his face, gently making him look at you.

"You both hate me?" he asked weakly, unable to imagine life without the two of you beside him.

"No." You shook your head. "Toru, no. Of course not. That's just how you are, isn't it? We never asked you to change. We just couldn't help noticing it, and if we don't tell you, who will?"

Oikawa Toru. So used to being fawned over that he doesn't know how to react when he is being criticized. He could admit to that, but it still hurt hearing you say that.

"Sweetheart, I did say those things about you, but you didn't stay long enough to hear the rest."

He pouted, looking away from you. "And what is it?"

You tilted your head so you would be in his line of vision, grinning the moment you realized you had him. "That despite all that, you're a generally kind person who cares a lot for your friends, your team, for me, and even if you don't know how to show it, deep down, you're a sensitive soul. And I adore that about you."

"Really?"

You scoffed. "I love you, Toru. I thought we had an understanding."

"As friends, you mean?"

You rolled your eyes at him, but didn't say anything further, closing the distance between your lips, kissing him fervently and intensely in case the message didn't come across just yet.

He gasped against your lips, caught off guard as usual, but kissed you back with as much fervor, dominating you shortly after your mouths made contact. He nipped and sucked on your lips before shoving his tongue into your mouth, immediately finding yours and delving in to taste you. Oikawa grinned when he rendered you into a panting mess, reveling in the way your hands possessively held him close.

"I waited so long for this," he said against your ear.

"Make up for all those times you missed out then," you told him with a smug grin.

"Heh. You asked for it."

He flipped you both over on the bed making you burst out in a fit of giggles, kissing you stupid, his hands touching everywhere he could reach, your clothes and his mixing in a pile on the floor while he made sweet love to you.

Oikawa Toru. He's self-centered but he's insecure so naturally, he's petty. But he was not just that. He's also the guy you loved to smithereens because you knew that those other facets of him – the good ones – exist.

-the end-

TERMINOLOGIES:

*ikebana (活け花) - traditional Japanese art of arranging flowers

My first try at Haikyuu...god d*mn you, both, @kenkinori and @ushiwaikuroo !!! XD

Before anyone comes after me, the characters are aged up as specified in the story. The beauty of literary creativity!

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.

© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY FURUDATE HARUICHI’S “HAIKYUU!”. [20210704]

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

[apenitentialprayer]

I hit the breaking point as a parent a few years ago. It was the week of my extended family’s annual gathering in August, and we were struggling with assorted crises. My parents were aging; my wife and I were straining under the chaos of young children; my sister was bracing to prepare her preteens for bullying, sex and cyberstalking. Sure enough, one night all the tensions boiled over. At dinner, I noticed my nephew texting under the table. I knew I shouldn’t say anything, but I couldn’t help myself and asked him to stop. Ka-boom! My sister snapped at me to not discipline her child. My dad pointed out that my girls were the ones balancing spoons on their noses. My mom said none of the grandchildren had manners. Within minutes, everyone had fled to separate corners. Later, my dad called me to his bedside. There was a palpable sense of fear I couldn’t remember hearing before. “Our family’s falling apart,” he said. “No it’s not,” I said instinctively. “It’s stronger than ever.” But lying in bed afterward, I began to wonder: Was he right? What is the secret sauce that holds a family together? What are the ingredients that make some families effective, resilient, happy? It turns out to be an astonishingly good time to ask that question. The last few years have seen stunning breakthroughs in knowledge about how to make families, along with other groups, work more effectively. Myth-shattering research has reshaped our understanding of dinnertime, discipline and difficult conversations. Trendsetting programs from Silicon Valley and the military have introduced techniques for making teams function better. The only problem: most of that knowledge remains ghettoized in these subcultures, hidden from the parents who need it most. I spent the last few years trying to uncover that information, meeting families, scholars and experts ranging from peace negotiators to online game designers to Warren Buffett’s bankers. After a while, a surprising theme emerged. The single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative. I first heard this idea from Marshall Duke, a colorful psychologist at Emory University. In the mid-1990s, Dr. Duke was asked to help explore myth and ritual in American families.“There was a lot of research at the time into the dissipation of the family,” he told me at his home in suburban Atlanta. “But we were more interested in what families could do to counteract those forces.” Around that time, Dr. Duke’s wife, Sara, a psychologist who works with children with learning disabilities, noticed something about her students.“The ones who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges,” she said. Her husband was intrigued, and along with a colleague, Robyn Fivush, set out to test her hypothesis. They developed a measure called the “Do You Know?” scale that asked children to answer 20 questions. Examples included: Do you know where your grandparents grew up? Do you know where your mom and dad went to high school? Do you know where your parents met? Do you know an illness or something really terrible that happened in your family? Do you know the story of your birth? Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush asked those questions of four dozen families in the summer of 2001, and taped several of their dinner table conversations. They then compared the children’s results to a battery of psychological tests the children had taken, and reached an overwhelming conclusion. The more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem and the more successfully they believed their families functioned. The “Do You Know?” scale turned out to be the best single predictor of children’s emotional health and happiness. “We were blown away,” Dr. Duke said. And then something unexpected happened. Two months later was Sept. 11. As citizens, Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush were horrified like everyone else, but as psychologists, they knew they had been given a rare opportunity: though the families they studied had not been directly affected by the events, all the children had experienced the same national trauma at the same time. The researchers went back and reassessed the children.“Once again,” Dr. Duke said, “the ones who knew more about their families proved to be more resilient, meaning they could moderate the effects of stress.” Why does knowing where your grandmother went to school help a child overcome something as minor as a skinned knee or as major as a terrorist attack? “The answers have to do with a child’s sense of being part of a larger family,” Dr. Duke said. Psychologists have found that every family has a unifying narrative, he explained, and those narratives take one of three shapes. First, the ascending family narrative: “Son, when we came to this country, we had nothing. Our family worked. We opened a store. Your grandfather went to high school. Your father went to college. And now you. ...” Second is the descending narrative: “Sweetheart, we used to have it all. Then we lost everything.” “The most healthful narrative,” Dr. Duke continued, “is the third one. It’s called the oscillating family narrative: ‘Dear, let me tell you, we’ve had ups and downs in our family. We built a family business. Your grandfather was a pillar of the community. Your mother was on the board of the hospital. But we also had setbacks. You had an uncle who was once arrested. We had a house burn down. Your father lost a job. But no matter what happened, we always stuck together as a family.’ ” Dr. Duke said that children who have the most self-confidence have what he and Dr. Fivush call a strong “intergenerational self.” They know they belong to something bigger than themselves. Leaders in other fields have found similar results. Many groups use what sociologists call sense-making, the building of a narrative that explains what the group is about. Jim Collins, a management expert and author of “Good to Great,” told me that successful human enterprises of any kind, from companies to countries, go out of their way to capture their core identity. In Mr. Collins’s terms, they “preserve core, while stimulating progress.” The same applies to families, he said. Mr. Collins recommended that families create a mission statement similar to the ones companies and other organizations use to identify their core values. The military has also found that teaching recruits about the history of their service increases their camaraderie and ability to bond more closely with their unit.Cmdr. David G. Smith is the chairman of the department of leadership, ethics and law at the Naval Academy and an expert in unit cohesion, the Pentagon’s term for group morale. Until recently, the military taught unit cohesion by “dehumanizing” individuals, Commander Smith said. Think of the bullying drill sergeants in “Full Metal Jacket” or “An Officer and a Gentleman.” But these days the military spends more time building up identity through communal activities. At the Naval Academy, Commander Smith advises graduating seniors to take incoming freshmen (or plebes) on history-building exercises, like going to the cemetery to pay tribute to the first naval aviator or visiting the original B-1 aircraft on display on campus. Dr. Duke recommended that parents pursue similar activities with their children. Any number of occasions work to convey this sense of history: holidays, vacations, big family get-togethers, even a ride to the mall. The hokier the family’s tradition, he said, the more likely it is to be passed down. He mentioned his family’s custom of hiding frozen turkeys and canned pumpkin in the bushes during Thanksgiving so grandchildren would have to “hunt for their supper,” like the Pilgrims. “These traditions become part of your family,” Dr. Duke said. Decades of research have shown that most happy families communicate effectively. But talking doesn’t mean simply “talking through problems,” as important as that is. Talking also means telling a positive story about yourselves. When faced with a challenge, happy families, like happy people, just add a new chapter to their life story that shows them overcoming the hardship. This skill is particularly important for children, whose identity tends to get locked in during adolescence. The bottom line: if you want a happier family, create, refine and retell the story of your family’s positive moments and your ability to bounce back from the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come.

- Bruce Feiler. Emphases added.

[theregoesmylurkerstatus]

So... I have a lot of thoughts on the finale. I've deliberately kept my mouth shut, more or less, on the campaign overall because I'm a firm believer that you can't pass judgement -- at least not complete judgement -- on stories until they're over and done with.

Well, it's done! Kind of crazy. I've been watching Critical Role with almost insane consistency, viewing almost every single episode live, with maybe five-ish exceptions, since episode 19, and I've been blogging it for, what, two and a half years?

It's a weird feeling. It's been such a constant thing for me that I'm always gonna have love for it and remember with a lot of fondness.

...Which is in spite of the fact that I can now comfortably say I'm pretty eh on the ending. I know not being positive about something most of us have loved a lot for a very long time can sting a bit, but I personally think it also stings when people relentlessly crow over how good they think it is or want it to be, to the point where you feel you can't voice your absolutely valid upsets or dissatisfactions. So, here goes, if anyone's interested! I'd be curious to see other opinions, too!

I actually drafted a post talking about my overall frustrations with the campaign a whole two weeks ago, and then scrapped most of it when 140 blew me out of the water. I was really touched, and really happy. I hadn't expected it, but it shockingly felt right, you know?

Unfortunately 141 robbed me of most of that satisfaction and brought me right back to neutral.

The blanket statement you have to make, of course, is that you can’t criticise this as a DnD game, and you can’t be mad at the cast for playing it in a way they think is best for them. They’re the players, Matt’s the DM, and in the end it makes no sense for them to try to make themselves act how they think the audience wants them to, and I’m sure most of the audience wouldn’t like the result anyway.

That said, there is an audience. And that’s where I see this clash coming in. As a DnD game, as long as the players and DM have all enjoyed it and been satisfied, it’s a successful game! But for us, it’s not a DnD game. For us, we’re watching a story be written in real time through the medium of an RPG. And while as a DnD game you can’t fault it, as a piece of media, I completely get why the way things have gone has sat weirdly for a lot of people.

It's not satisfying to see so many character hooks dealt with so quickly or left as an offscreen "and then you do it." If they don't want to keep playing to dive into it, absolutely, but for us who have been watching this as a story with all these character elements get so built up, it's a huge anti-climax.

Which is a lot of what this campaign has been, really.

Oh, Nott’s cursed! But through a really cool character moment that problem is completely taken care of with no consequences we see. Yay, I want her to be Veth and that was an iconic move from Jester! Still, it kind of feels like this was built up to be a big problem and at the first success it was let go... Caleb's got a really intense frightening past he tries to hide, I wonder how the Mighty Nein will respond? Oh, they found out, but it's not a difficult revelation for anyone. Looks like it's easy for them to move past it and forgive. Yeah, that's healthiest for the characters, but huh, kinda undercuts it as a storyline or point of interest. Oooh, Avantika’s back! Ah, they’ve killed her and grabbed the eye again. I mean I don’t want them to die or for Uk’otoa to be free, but I’m starting to feel like that’s not much of a threat anyway. The Traveler’s been kidnapped! Nah he hasn’t, he tried to save Jester so he was let go with no further issue, and also he wasn’t actually in any danger anyway. Oh... Cool. So... Why should I care or be worried?

And these are just the biggest ones I remember being kind of let down by. I wanted to see them STRUGGLE for the successes to have meaning. To my view, threats of failure -- real failure -- really decreased the more the campaign went on, with a few exceptions.

Because don't get me wrong, we've definitely had struggles, and those have made for some of the best moments! Molly’s death, Yasha’s kidnapping, Yeza’s imprisonment. When failures that were threatened are allowed to occur, it’s far more gratifying when it’s followed by success, because you understand that that success was actually necessary. It shows us that what they do really means something.

Honestly, that's why the final battle really shut me up, because nothing makes you quite feel stakes and failure like having two PCs die, and having a resurrection ritual fail -- AND knowing that failure would be delivered on, had it not been for a seemingly miraculous roll of the dice to turn it around. One of the greatest failure's -- Molly's death -- made the success of his resurrection put a lot of my other issues to rest immediately, because to be honest? Molly's resurrection was the biggest success of the campaign, exactly because it was originally the biggest failure.

But this episode, we got to see the other side of making threats and successes feel disappointing -- when you get the impression that success was robbed from you. Again, their characters, their choices, but to have them roll an intervention to get Molly's soul, to convince Molly to come back with his own possessions they've so loved, after so long and so many struggles... only to apparently not get Molly at all?

Changed, of course. Memories, maybe he'd never get them back, though that seems inconsistent to how the initial resurrection was played and Matt's hints. It even makes sense that not having his memories and being a bit different, he might forge a new identity, but insisting Molly was a different person entirely after such a supposed hard won success to get Molly back, especially after what his death meant to the audience and potentially healing that old wound? It robs the narrative of a LOT of catharsis, at least for me and I know many others.

Trent, too, I'm very up and down on. He was so built up -- and what fun that build up had -- and I very much disagreed with the idea that the best story would be dealing with him offscreen.

It's true that you don’t need to explicitly address, confront, or explore every big aspect of character's story hooks and background ties for PCs to move past them and grow healthily. But that does not make it a satisfying viewing experience. People quietly healing in real life is healthy. People quietly healing in an explosive fantasy setting is frustrating for the audience.

What on earth is the point of a story if you don’t get to SEE THE ESTABLISHED CONFLICTS go anywhere? A lot of the characters got distant, quiet resolutions, if that, to everything we wanted to see.

Except, we did get to see Trent. It was a really fun, inventive battle, from opening to conclusion, but much like Travelercon, much like Nott's/Veth's problem with the hag, these were things that the audience in general wanted to see be really dug into and explored, and every single one of them got, in my opinion, quickly tidied up instead. Trent got beaten in the first and only proper battle they had with him, which, after all his build up, is pretty disappointing for a villain many of us wanted to see be a big deal. It really just felt like they were trying to tidy up to get on with the epilogue, which is not what a lot of us were looking for with Trent especially.

And that's how most of their endings felt to me. It didn't feel like any of them had reached a comfortable conclusion. Literally all of them, bar Veth and Caduceus, continued on their character journey threads, without each other and very quickly. Meeting Yasha's tribe and Vandran, Caleb finally openly debating changing time for his parents, Trent and Zeenoth's trials and the changing of the guard at the Assembly... All were things it would have been so fun to have all the PCs react to and explore together, and instead they were fleeting encounters in the latter half of a seven hour finale.

Is all this, from Molly not really coming back to Trent being a finale side plot to the Nein continuing on their individual journeys, potentially realistic to how these fantastical things might go down in real life? Sure! But that's not necessarily a good thing.

Stories THRIVE on conflict and resolution. That’s what makes them FUN! Conflict isn’t nearly so fun in real life and resolutions are often frustrating question marks, so no, past a certain point I don’t WANT stories to be realistic. I want stories to be SATISFYING.

And campaign 2 has fallen far short of the mark.

I haven’t spoken... Basically a word of this for most of the campaign, because as I said I’m a firm believer that you can’t necessarily judge something until it’s over, and because I ALSO firmly believe that being negative WHILE trying to enjoy something is counterproductive. I have had no interest in spoiling or naysaying the fun of the campaign for anyone, least of all myself.

But it's done now, and all I can say is... I really have had fun. I love the characters. I love their relationships. I’m pretty okay with where they’ve ended up. I’m not mad, really, and I’m still going to think of this campaign with a lot of affection. But it hasn’t been a satisfying story, even though for a week following episode 140 I thought, despite all the brushed over story threads, it might be.

So... to try and reclaim some of that satisfaction for myself, I might ignore some aspects of the finale proper. Namely Kingsley specifically. Taliesin's choice -- but to me, it's pretty clear that who we saw at the end of 140 was Molly, and the tags on my posts will reflect that, just as my 141 tags will be for both Kingsley and Molly, for clarity's sake. I personally want to believe Molly did come back, however others might want to interpret it. The victory in 140 that meant so much to me is hollow otherwise, and it just kind of hurts that we would lose Molly after everything. I was okay with him being dead -- I'm not so okay with his resurrection being stolen.

Kingsley will always be canon, but Molly is what I choose to acknowledge. I get if you don't like that take, and that's okay! I didn't care for canon's in the end. That's the good thing about storytelling, is that no one can stop you from making your own versions.

For the people who are hopefully hyped for campaign 3, heck yeah have fun! I’m on the fence. My investment, which... I think I can objectively say was pretty substantive as this blog will attest, doesn't feel rewarded, so I’m not convinced I can faithfully keep up for over three years all over again with a strong possibility that I will once again be left disappointed. It's been a huge chunk of my life, and... yeah!

I’ll take a break, probably, view (and liveblog, if people want!) campaign 1 when I’ve had a mental stretch and vacation, and then... I might start campaign 3. I definitely won’t be able to put the same time in it I did campaign 2 (my first love no matter what), knowing that it’s likely to not be so vindicated, in the end.

I swear I’m actually writing this in fairly good humour, but I totally get its always disappointing when the people you come to for fandom enjoyment just aren't sharing your fun. Honestly I’m half tempted to write all those frigging AUs I have sitting around! But I wanted to say my piece, and try and logically outline why this ending has been lacklustre for so many people, ultimately myself included.

Episode 140 felt right because it felt like a natural conclusion -- these disparate people coming together and finally being whole, finally soothing the hurt that MADE them so long ago. Episode 141 spat on that sentiment -- they all scattered to the winds, not as happy people to live out their dreams, but as confused people chasing up loose threads towards an unknown future, with the friend they thought returned still lost to them, ultimately.

It doesn't feel like the ending we should have gotten for the Mighty Nine, who were finally, finally all together. Until they weren't. So to me? I choose to acknowledge that they were, even if I have to force it to happen post-epilogue in my head.

[iam93percentstardust]

Hello. I am very interested with WinterIron. Enemies to Lovers, abo with omega Tony, accidental bonding, mutual pining, a lot and a loooootttttt of kissing and touching (with "I do it because of bond" excuses).

Please feel free to cross anything you feel uncomfortable with.

Hi there! I wasn't able to get everything in there, but hopefully there's enough? I loved this prompt so much, it was a fun verse to write in 💙

CW for omegas having few rights in this verse and for creepy Aldrich Killian

As always, everything I write can also be found on ao3

~

mate bond: [meyt bond] noun

1. A mental and physical connection that ties two people together following a mating bite

2. A pair bond between spouses

~

[An excerpt from The Other Half of My Soul: An Exploration into Unconventional Bonding Methods by Anderson-Lopez et al, 1972]

“While rare, it is important to note the existence of mate bonds in individuals who have not exchanged bites. These instances have notably occurred during times of high stress for one or both individuals, and are sparked by an inciting incident of some kind, usually a traumatic event. While these types of mate bonds, dubbed soulmate bonds by the media, frequently occur between individuals who are highly compatible, it is not necessary. Curiously, however, it does seem necessary that the individuals are scent matched for a soulmate bond, even though compatible second genders are not a requirement.”

~

Bucky maintained that it was an accident.

Tony had been meant for Steve, after all. That was the arrangement Howard Stark had decided on with Fury. Bucky had only come along as moral support for the first meeting between Steve and Tony. He wasn’t even supposed to meet Tony first, but the crowded ballroom had been too much for him, so he’d ducked out into the hallway, only to come across two alphas menacing an omega. He supposed that some of Steve’s fiery nature must have rubbed off on him, as he normally would have never taken on two alphas by himself, not when he was down an arm. But he’d taken one look at that omega, pretty brown eyes wide with distress, and leapt into action. It hadn’t been until both alphas had been sent off running with their tails between their legs that he’d realized the omega he’d rescued was Tony Stark, Steve’s arranged mate.

Unfortunately (fortunately? No, definitely unfortunately), the arranged match would never come to fruition as Bucky and Tony had looked at each other and immediately bonded without a shared word or bite between them.

Howard was furious, Fury less so—Bucky was still a SHIELD agent, even if he wasn’t the great Captain America, so the planned union between SHIELD and SI would still happen—but both Bucky and Tony insisted that it hadn’t been done on purpose. And, as neither had a mating bite but could still feel the other at the back of their mind, it was hard to disprove the existence of what had once been called a soulmate bond, though was now called the rather unglamorous name of Mate Bond Subtype C, which Bucky thought sounded like an illness.

The media thought it was the most romantic thing they’d ever heard. Steve, who was slowly courting another alpha from SHIELD, thought it was a relief. Bucky, who didn’t want an omega while he was still recovering from the surgery on his arm, thought it was a nightmare at first.

He didn’t know what Tony thought.

They might have shared a bond between them, but Tony had quickly figured out how to shield his feelings. It had taken Bucky a little bit more practice but he too had worked out how to keep his thoughts and feelings private, which was good, because he doubted Tony would like to know what he was thinking.

They’d been bonded for three months and, while Bucky had moved into Tony’s penthouse apartment, they didn’t share a room, let alone a bed. He still took long missions that took him away for weeks at a time. Tony spent more time at SI’s research labs than he did at home. Bucky hadn’t shared Tony’s heat, nor had Tony shared Bucky’s rut, though neither of them had invited anyone else into their beds. And other than their planned public outings where they had to touch to put on the façade of a happily bonded couple, they didn’t hold hands or kiss or lean into each other, giggling.

The problem was—Bucky wanted all of that. He wanted to sleep curled around Tony. He wanted the two of them to be home long enough to share more than one dinner together at a time. He desperately wanted to share cycles, but even more badly than that, he wanted to touch Tony as often as the omega could stand it. Because the problem was also this—sometime in the course of three months, he’d fallen in love.

~

Tony slid his hand into Bucky’s as they stood in the elevator. “It’s just a quick walk around the ballroom, say hi to a couple investors, and then we can leave,” he said reassuringly, giving Bucky a quick smile. “I know how much you hate these shindigs.”

This was true, Bucky did hate them, but he knew that Tony hated them just as much, though he hid it much better than Bucky did. “Don’t worry,” he replied, squeezing Tony’s hand quickly. “I’ll stick to you like glue.”

“Well, maybe not like glue. Like Velcro, maybe. Howard’s got a couple investors that I know he wants me to meet and that I know you’ll hate so you’re more than welcome to go off and find people more to your liking then. I heard Steve’s coming.”

Bucky had to fight to hide a frown. He knew Tony didn’t mean any harm by the comment, but he hated how Tony thought he wouldn’t want to be by his side even when meeting people he didn’t like. So what if he didn’t like them? He’d still prefer to be giving Tony silent support instead of wandering off and leaving him alone for that long.

Before he can respond, the elevator came to a smooth stop, the doors opening on a soft ding to reveal the glittering ballroom Maria Stark had chosen to host the Annual Stark Foundation’s Shareholders’ Ball, meant to honor those who had given so generously to charity over the last year. The room was decorated in delicate ice-like structures, calling to mind the snow blanketing the city outside, though it wasn’t nearly as cold inside. Golden chandeliers reflected off the dark windows, giving the impression of a never-ending stretch of light. It was all so very glitzy and glamorous. Bucky hated it. It was an obscene display of wealth, meant solely to remind everyone that the Starks were richer than anyone else in the room.

“One hour, Bucky Bear,” Tony murmured like he could hear Bucky’s thoughts. “And then we can go get burgers.”

He dropped Bucky’s hand in favor of sliding his own into the crook of Bucky’s elbow, gently steering him towards the first group of investors. Like every other rich person he’d met since bonding with Tony, they were simultaneously smug of their own “generosity” (mere pennies compared to their bank accounts) and jealous, both of Tony’s wealth and Bucky’s luck in landing a Stark (not his words). The smugness was blatant, the jealousy only slightly hidden in the way their eyes lingered as Bucky took the opportunity to brush his lips across Tony’s cheek, quietly telling him he was going to go get them drinks.

“I’ll be back before you even have time to miss me,” he promised, understanding the minute tightness at the corners of Tony’s eyes.

Tony smiled and nodded, attention already turning back to the investors—or, more likely, to his latest project, however much it might have looked like he was paying attention to Hugh Worthington IV. Bucky slipped through the crowd to the bar. Fortunately, it wasn’t crowded yet and he was able to order a whiskey for himself and a scotch for Tony, who always refused to drink the fruity drinks he actually preferred at these parties, almost immediately. As he waited, he turned back to the crowd, idly scanning it. Steve wasn’t there yet, if it was indeed true that Fury had managed to stuff him into a suit and send him off to schmooze. His eyes sought out Tony, who was laughing as he excused himself from the group Bucky had left him with, moving on to another small throng of people.

He smiled despite himself. Tony was lovely like this, despite his discomfort. Bucky got to see him laugh so rarely at home that he cherished every moment he got to see it while they were out in public.

“Sir, your drinks,” the bartender prompted. He thanked them absently and left a tip on the bar before making his way back across the ballroom to Tony’s side.

Tony wasn’t laughing now. In fact, if his pursed lips were anything to go off of, he was pretty furious, and Bucky wondered what had upset him between him leaving the bar and him returning to Tony’s side.

“Doll,” he said, letting Tony know he was there. Tony turned and took his drink, thanking him with a quick kiss that Bucky desperately wanted to turn into a longer, sweeter one.

“Honey, Senator Stern here was just telling me about an omega’s rights bill he filibustered so it wouldn’t pass,” Tony said, irritation bleeding into his tone.

“Now isn’t that interesting,” Bucky drawled, irritated himself. The bill in question was a law that he knew Tony had backed, as it would have put a stop to the arranged bondings the wealthy were so fond of. They’d both known it would be a longshot to pass, but they’d remained hopeful. “That’s the one that Stevie supported isn’t it?”

“It is,” Tony agreed. “My alpha here—” He patted Bucky’s chest. “—is close friends with Captain Rogers. They grew up together, you know. Steve spends nearly every Saturday evening with us. I’m sure he’ll be delighted to hear about this bill failing to pass. Isn’t he supposed to be putting in an appearance at the Senate hearing next week? It would be such a shame if he couldn’t make it.”

Tony’s statement was only partially true. Bucky mostly saw Steve at SHIELD, as Steve, despite being always welcome at their apartment, didn’t want to be reminded of how close he’d come to an arranged bonding of his own. But Steve, who had been an omega before receiving the serum, had always been an outspoken supporter of omega’s rights, and now that he was an alpha, and Captain America to boot, he used every bit of that privilege to push as much pro-omega legislature through Congress as he could. He was a thorn in conservative senators’ sides, like Stern, and it was a minor miracle that they’d gotten him to appear in front of Congress to talk positively about a Republican bill supporting an expansion of benefits for veterans, when he normally disagreed with anything Republican just on principle. Steve’s support would go a long way toward getting that bill passed.

Tony’s veiled threat was effective. Stern, one of the authors of the bill, blanched, making Bucky smile. He loved watching Tony do his thing. There was really nothing better than Tony putting bullies like Stern back in their place.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Stern stammered out before hurrying away.

As soon as he was gone, Tony drooped, leaning back against Bucky. It was nice, being able to lend his support to his omega, but Tony was standing up straight again after only a moment, the façade falling back over him.

“I really hate that guy,” Tony said softly. He looked up at Bucky. “Sorry about using your friendship with Steve like that. I was just so angry. Saw red for a second there.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Bucky said. Impulsively, he reached out to clasp Tony’s shoulder, running his thumb soothingly over the soft skin just above his shirt collar. “You guys got a bad lot in life. You do what you gotta do to make it right.”

Tony hummed. “I really wanted that bill to pass. It wasn’t right, what Howard and Fury wanted me to do. I don’t want anyone else to have to go through that.”

“Sorry,” Bucky offered up. It was a lame apology, but he didn’t know what else he could say to make it better. He knew very well that if he and Tony hadn’t bonded that night, Steve would be Tony’s alpha.

To his surprise, Tony smiled and nudged his shoulder, teasing, “I don’t know, you’re not so bad.”

Bucky sputtered, nearly choking on his whiskey.

“Oh, look, Steve’s just arrived,” Tony said airily, like he hadn’t noticed the effect his words were having on Bucky. “Let’s go say hi.”

Talking to Steve at these events was always awkward. Tony and Steve were both aware that neither of them wanted anything to do with each other as mates, which made having to see each other a study in unspoken tension. He didn’t think it was that either of them had a problem with the other, and he suspected that they could even manage to be friends eventually, but it was that knowledge that they’d nearly been forced to mate that made things so tense between them. Still, he appreciated that Tony was willing to put up with it so that Bucky could see his best friend. It was the sort of small kindness that Tony unthinkingly did that had made Bucky fall in love with him so easily.

Tonight was no different. Tony and Steve exchanged no more than a few awkward words before Tony excused himself to go meet with Emma Frost. He didn’t bother kissing Bucky this time, as Steve was one of the few people they didn’t have to pretend with and it didn’t seem like anyone was watching them at the moment. It would have been different if they’d met up a few months ago. There’d been more than a few people who’d somehow got it into their heads that Steve and Tony’s proposed bond was a love match instead of arranged, and they’d all watched eagerly to see how Steve, Tony, and Bucky interacted in those days following Bucky and Tony’s bonding, clearly wondering if Steve was going to pick a fight. They’d been sorely disappointed, of course; Steve and Bucky didn’t fight over anything, let alone an omega that Steve hadn’t wanted.

“So Fury roped you into the dog and pony show, huh,” Bucky asked, eyeing the stiff collar of Steve’s shirt. He’d be willing to bet that it was brand new. Steve was much more at home in a pair of khakis and a flannel shirt than he was in a tuxedo.

“Senator Brandt actually,” Steve said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. “He thinks it’s good for me to make appearances and drum up support for SHIELD.”

“Sucks.” There was a niggling worry growing at the back of his mind, unrelated to Steve’s complaints about the brass, but Bucky didn’t know what it was. He glanced around the room, but was unable to spot anything amiss. He tried to put it out of his mind by asking, “How’s working with the Commandos?” He couldn’t entirely keep the bitterness out of his voice. Bucky had been moved out of the Commandos unit a few weeks before meeting Tony, and it wasn’t that he didn’t like being on Strike Team Delta, but he was still irritated that he hadn’t had a choice in the matter.

“Not the same without you,” Steve said, grimacing at him like he knew what was going through Bucky’s mind.

They continued talking about SHIELD as they slowly circulated the room and all the while, that worry was growing stronger, slowly morphing into fear, but it wasn’t until he happened to catch a glimpse of Tony standing in the corner and looking tense and unhappy that he realized they weren’t his feelings. They were Tony’s. Tony was worried and scared and had brought down his shields so that Bucky could feel his emotions and Bucky was standing on the other side of the room like an idiot.

“Excuse me,” he said brusquely, cutting Steve off. “Tony’s in trouble.”

He headed straight for Tony, pushing through the crowd without sparing a thought to anyone he might be offending as he shoved them aside. For once, it was Steve who was trailing after him, offering apologies to everyone who looked offended.

There was a look of naked relief in Tony’s eyes as Bucky marched up behind the alpha Tony was talking to. It was a look he’d never seen on Tony’s face before, at least not directed at him, and he wasn’t sure if he liked that his omega was happy to have him there or disliked that Tony had to be relieved at all.

“Something wrong, doll?” he asked, hand clamping down on the alpha’s shoulder.

“Bucky,” Tony breathed. He sagged back against the wall. “This is Aldrich Killian. He’d like to propose—” Tony’s mouth twisted unhappily. “He’d like to propose an omega trade. I told him I wasn’t interested, but he insisted on talking to you.”

Anger flared in Bucky’s chest, hot and furious. Omega trades weren’t common anymore, used mostly in backroom deals to secure a transaction. You treat my omega right and I’ll treat your omega right, and maybe we can have a deal. He knew the rich, traditional alphas Tony had grown up with still occasionally used them, but he hated them. He’d always hated them. The very concept treated omegas like property, like hostages, and the thought of seeing Tony—his Tony—under someone else had his vision shading red.

“Is that so?” he hissed.

Killian, the idiot, didn’t seem to notice Bucky’s growing anger. “Maya’s a great—” he began to say.

Bucky cut him off with a hand around his throat, slamming him into the wall.

“Bucky—” Steve started, a warning in his voice.

“Tell them it’s SHIELD business,” he snapped. “Isn’t that the usual excuse?”

What Steve did to placate the crowd growing around them, he didn’t know; he was too intent on Killian to care. “Let me get this straight,” he growled. “You asked Tony for a trade and when he told you no, because I know him, he wouldn’t ever want that and he wouldn’t be quiet about it, you cornered him and insisted you’d only listen to a no from me.” It wasn’t a question. Tony’s thoughts and emotions were flooding him with what Killian had tried to do to him. He growled again at the image of Killian’s hand on Tony’s arm, removed after only a moment. This—this—alpha had tried to put his hands on Tony, had ignored his clear no, and was still babbling on about whatever business deal he wanted out of Bucky—or, more likely, Tony, though as an omega, Tony wouldn’t be able to make that decision.

“It’s a yes or no question, Killian,” he finally snapped, losing his temper. “Did you or did you not ignore Tony’s answer—"

“He’s an omega,” Killian tried.

“He’s a person. He’s a person who was clearly uncomfortable with you and you should never have ignored that. The only reason you’re still standing and not laid out on the floor is because he cares about making a scene, but guess what, I don’t.” His hand tightened on Killian’s throat, making the man wheeze. “Do—”

“Bucky,” Tony said quietly, cutting through his anger.

Without removing his hand from Killian, he looked at Tony. Tony still looked a little shaken, but there was something else in his eyes, something that Bucky didn’t know how to describe.

“Let him go,” Tony continued. “You made your point.”

“He—”

“Yeah, he did,” Tony said, knowing what he was going to say. Bucky wondered if his own shields were down, letting Tony read his thoughts and feelings. “And you were here to stop it, so it’s okay. Let him go, we can go get burgers.”

He didn’t want to. He wanted to make sure Killian never laid hands on someone unwilling ever again, but then Steve was there, carefully pulling Bucky away as he muttered to him about seeing what Fury could do about Killian. And that wasn’t exactly what Bucky wanted, but it was better than nothing, and taking care of Tony was his priority anyway. So since Tony wanted burgers, he would go get burgers.

He spun on his heels, intent on heading to the elevators, only to freezes as soon as he saw Tony. They were supposed to be faking it, which meant that he should do something—wrap an arm around Tony’s waist or kiss his forehead or—or something. But Tony had just had to deal with an unwelcome touch. He shouldn’t have to deal with another one so soon afterwards.

Tony surprised him though by stepping forward and sliding his hand into Bucky’s, interlacing their fingers. “Come on, alpha. Let’s go home,” he said, leading Bucky through the crowd watching them. Bucky ignored them in favor of drinking in the sight of Tony whole and healthy, if not happy.

They were quiet in the elevator ride back down to the parking garage, quiet as they climbed into the back of the car, quiet as Happy pulled out onto the road. Then Tony slid across the backseat to tuck up against Bucky’s side. He rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder, and, after a moment, Bucky rested his cheek against Tony’s curls.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t,” Tony said. Bucky could feel the truth in his words through their bond, and he realized that Tony hadn’t put his mental shields back up. “I wouldn’t have asked for your help if I hadn’t been expecting something like that.”

“Shouldn’t have taken it so far though. I know you’re not—we’re not—” He grimaced as he fumbled over the words. He’d been able to admit for three months that he and Tony weren’t in a relationship, why was it so hard now?

Tony hesitated before carefully saying, “We could be.”

“We—what?”

“Bucky Bear,” Tony said warmly, sitting up so he could look him in the eyes. “You have to know—people don’t just do what you did tonight or the night we met, for that matter. Not for me. I—I don’t know, the way we bonded, it threw me off. I wasn’t expecting it and I reacted badly. But—then the way you reacted to Killian got me thinking—maybe we could try?”

“Try?” Bucky whispered.

“Try us?” Tony asked, leaning back in slowly, giving Bucky enough time to move away if he wanted to.

He didn’t want to. “Yeah,” he breathed. “We could try. I—I’d like that.”

Tony smiled at him, bright and lovely, and closed the distance between them.

[drwcn]

《 Without Envy 》 storyboard 10 - concubine/sleeper agent!wwx & prince!lwj

Other snippets and storyboards can be found on [Master List]

Exactly 851 days - 2 years, 4 months and 11 days - after Wei Wuxian arrived at Gusu and began his mission as a sleeper agent, he was activated.

That chilly morning, he walked into the pastry shop - a front maintained by a decade-long Wen spy - a walk he'd done hundred of times on hundreds of mornings since he arrived. He breezed past the packaging counter, skipped through the faded cotton drapes, and rounded behind the back staircase to the room where Xue Yang always waited for him. Only this time, it was not just his candy-obsessed, murder-happy shidi, but a face he hadn't seen in many, many months. "...Shifu?" Wen Zhuliu's visit meant the end of his carefree days. It's time. That night, Wei Wuxian did not look at either Lan Wangji or Jiang Yanli when he bid "dianxia" and "Jiang-zhuzi" good night. He pretended to retire to bed early, after washing himself of his servant's exterior and donning his robes of night-black. He laid in the dark, waiting for time to pass, and reminded himself of his true purpose. He was never meant to care about these people; love these people. Jiang Yanli was not his doting foster sister; Lan Wangji was not his beloved wangye. I am Wei Wuxian of the great Qishan Wen. Nevernight is my home. I am a spy. Gusu is my enemy. Wei Wuxian kept his eyes closed, his breathing even, and his heartbeat slow. In the lonely quiet, he waited, and waited, and waited. Until the candlelight around the princely manor dimmed to nothing, until the night grew still and the moon shone bright and high in the dark, dark sky. Reaching under the floorboard beneath his bed, Wei Wuxian retrieved his life-long companion from its hiding place and released it from its sheath. "Hello, old friend." He whispered, stroking the blade edge. Suibian's steel glistened with cold malevolence in the stark, pale moonlight.

It would be another year before WWX's identity is discovered. During that time, he lived a double life. In the day, he was Lan Wangji's precious Wei Ying, and at night, he was the blade in Wen Ruohan's hand, stealing, killing and destroying on command. His assignments were not always murder; sometimes it required him to break into secure facilities and obtain copies of certain documents. He was never alone on these jobs; there was always someone convalescing with him from within. Slowly, he began to realize just how deep Wen Ruohan's spy network had infiltrated Gusu's foundation. In a way, it excited him, to know that the posturing and pretending would soon be over, that in the near future a quick war would sweep across the land and unite the two nations. In another way, it frightened him to the bones.

Wei Wuxian killed 37 individuals within the span of a year, 37 men and women of different ranks, status and stations. He did not always know why these people needed to die; in fact, he often didn't and preferred it that way. If he didn't know the motive, then he couldn't argue against the reason, and thus could go on believing that what Wen Ruohan did was ultimately for the betterment of everyone. The men of Gusu were weak - Wei Wuxian was always told - they were not fit to rule. The people of Gusu would be better served under a united empire. He repeated this statement to himself before every job, but over time, the mantra on his tongue began to lose its flavour.

In the meantime however, Lan Wangji and Jiang Yanli quickly formed a strong plan on how they wanted to live out the rest of their lives. Lan Wangji never quite enjoyed laying with women, but Jiang Yanli had just enough wickedness behind her demure exterior that things were... well, interesting. In any case, it was not long before she came to him all smiles and whispered the good news over luncheon .

"Truly?" Lan Wangji set down his chopsticks. "Hm uhm." Jiang Yanli dapped her mouth delicately. "Now, perhaps it's a good time to discuss how dianxia should go about winning A-Xian's affection. He's under the impression you've cast him aside on taishi's orders and has been giving him the cold shoulder." "I wasn't." Lan Wangji defended himself, distressed and slightly offended. "It's just, huangshu's been watching me like a hawk. I was afraid any further attempt to be closer to him would give my uncle reason to remove him from my household entirely." Jiang Yanli was sympathetic. "The summer hunt is in two week's time, and afterwards, since bixia always likes to finish the night on the river with fireworks, perhaps...." She let the sentence dangle, a knowing smile playing at her lips. Lan Wangji felt hope.

Unfortunately, a little hiccup happened before the hunt could take place. Jin Ziyan falsely believed that Wei Wuxian had fallen out of favour with Lan Wangji and was itching to show him his place. Poor Mo Xuanyu was caught in the middle. Jin Ziyan knew Wei Wuxian was an audacious one, but not so stupid that he could be easily goaded into committing a grave offence. Thus, Jin Ziyan planned to cause an incident in the garden whereby poor Mo Xuanyu would unwittingly "offend" him, and he would publicly announce a punishment that was harsher than necessary. He made sure that Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian were near by, as they usually took a mid-afternoon stroll after lunch. True to his predictions, Wei Wuxian could not stop himself for interfering on Mo Xuanyu's behalf. Then in their altercation, Jin Ziyan would fall into the pond, making it seem as though Wei Wuxian was the one who shoved him out of anger. Oh but a lowly servant shoving Hanguang-wang's deputy consort into the pond??! He was as good as dead. What's more, everything happened on the same afternoon that Lan Qiren was scheduled to visit Lan Wangji to discuss matters of court. If it was only Lan Wangji, Jin Ziyan knew Wei Wuxian would suffer little consequence, but taishi tolerated no insubordination or churlish behaviour of any kind.

Lan Qiren was incensed, livid, but he was not hasty to deal the punishment. Instead he turned to his nephew and asked, whilst fully knowing the answer, "Wangji, your household follows the regulations that govern all princely manors, does it not?" "It does, huangshu." "Then tell me what is the punishment reserved for a servant for daring to lay hands on a deputy consort and to cause physical harm to said consort?" "It....I - huangshu -" "What is the rule?" Lan Wangji knew very well that the punishment was death for any servant, maid or eunuch who dared to harm any member of the harem. But Wei Ying, his Wei Ying... "Wei Ying is very precious to Yanli and to Yunmeng-hou. As well..." Lan Wangji hesitated. "Yanli is with child again. It is still very early so we thought it best not to announce it lest we have a repeat of last time. It would not do to upset her at this time." Lan Qiren was extremely dissatisfied with his answer, but conceded for Jiang Yanli's sake. "I'm glad, Wangji, that you've found your way back to your proper companions. This Wei Wuxian clearly has been spoiled to the point of impropriety. His actions today are utterly unacceptable and cannot be allowed to go unpunished or else others would surely follow his example. Guards!" "Detain Wei Wuxian. Have him strung up on a post in the servants' courtyard and give him fifty lashes. No food nor drink. Sun or rain, he is not to be let down until dusk tomorrow." "Huangshu!" Lan Wangji's head buzzed, as though someone had struck him squarely in the temple. His chest felt tight, and his heart ached where it rebelled inside him. "Please -" "He has his life. That is mercy enough."

Wei Wuxian was stripped down to his trousers only and tied up to a post, his hands bound together above him and his bare feet never finding purchase on the ground no matter how he struggled. This fucking suck ass. Jin Ziyan you're a dead man. When all fifty lashes were dealt, even the guards were sweating through their robes. They left him dangling there in the blistering summer heat. A young maid dared to try and sneak him some water but was thwarted by an older momo. "What do you think you're doing, lassie? Did you not hear taishi, no food or drink until dusk tomorrow. Do you want lashes too? Go on! Go!" It rained hard all through the night, only easing up at dawn, but the aftermath of the storm left the air muggy and humid. Combined with the heat, it felt as though he was being steamed alive like a wheat bun. At some point during the second day, Wei Wuxian finally lost consciousness. He was not aware when Lan Wangji barged into the courtyard against Lan Qiren's explicit orders and cut him free.

Really tho, i just want this scene to happen (╹ڡ╹ ) "I'm sorry." Wei Wuxian blinked at Lan Wangji's hunched figure sitting at his bedside. "Whatever for? You saved me, dianxia." Lan Wangji, "But it was my attention that put you in such a position in the first place. Huangshu was looking for a reason to punish you since that day he saw us in my study." Wei Wuxian, "dianxia..." "I find you... lovely, Wei Ying," confessed Lan Wangji with a heavy sigh. His ears burned red not only with the embarrassment of a youth in love but with shame. "I wish for your company, even when you have no desire to be part of my harem. Now I know my mistake. I should have respected the boundaries. I should've known my attention on you would incite jealousy from the others, and as a servant, you have no means of protecting yourself. This is entirely my fault." Wei Wuxian's heart fluttered despite himself. He quickly shook his head. "No dianxia, please don't blame yourself -" Lan Wangji, "perhaps I should send you back to Jiang-fu; I'm sure Jiang-xiao-gongzi would be delighted to have your company back. You would be safe there." Jiang Wanyin had come to visit his sister the very next day after Wei Wuxian was sentenced to whipping. He was one of the most accomplishment young men of his generation, anticipated to be a great general. Nie Mingjue had thought highly of him and had expected great things from this youth. Though perhaps what the late feng-jun found truly commendable was Jiang Wanyin's complete lack of pretense and his short-fuse temper. That is to say, he did not hesitate to get in Lan Wangji's face. His sister would have chastised him, had she not been so preoccupied by her tears. Wei Wuxian, "Jiang...Jiang Cheng was here?" "He was, and he was very upset about your condition. He left many fine medicine and ointments for you." Lan Wangji sighed again. "I shall speak with Yanli. If she is amenable, then I shall make arrangements for you to go back to Jiang-fu. You would not have to put up with me any longer." Lan Wangji stood up. Wei Wuxian grasped his sleeve immediately. In that moment, he could not tell if his panic was derived from his worry that he would not be able to complete his assignment if Lan Wangji were to send him away or if he simply did not wish to part with the prince. "Dianxia - I - I don't want to leave. I - it's true I had once rejected you, but...would you think less of me if I said your attention … hasn't been unwanted for a while, that I have come to enjoy them." At Lan Wangji's widened eyes, Wei Wuxian continued quickly. "You need not give me anything, no elevation, no rank. I don't care about any of that. I am a man, I have no ability to give you children. Nor do I have any family who would benefit from your continued favour of me. I am an orphan, dianxia, I have no place to go. I just....don't send me away. Please let me stay! I'm not afraid of Jin Ziyan, or taishi, or anything!" Lan Wangji sat back down. His hand trembled when he laid it on top of Wei Wuxian's. "Wei Ying...?" Wei Wuxian smiled, still radiant despite his pale complexion. "Dianxia -" "Lan Zhan. No more dianxia, I only want to hear you call me by my name." Wei Wuxian flushed pink. The blush was real, as was the pleased little smile he tried to hide. "Lan Zhan, Wei Ying is yours, if you still want him." The worst part of that was that he meant it. Just the mere thought of being held by Lan Wangji, of being kissed by him, of... so many other wonderful possibilities, made Wei Wuxian want to hide his flaming face into his pillow. Lan Wangji smiled. Quietly, he lifted Wei Wuxian's hand and pressed a kiss to the inner side of his wrist. "Rest, I will be right here." Wei Wuxian felt his treacherous little heart soar: oh no … oh no no no no ….. (Xue Yang's voice in narration: and it was in this moment, that Wei Wuxian knew, he fucked up.) The cruellest thing Wei Wuxian ever did was give Lan Wangji hope knowing that one day he would take it all away.

[voltagesmutter]

Satan x MC - Public.

Pairing: Satan x MC (F).

Fandom: Obey Me.

Prompt:  Asphyxiation || Orgasm Denial || Public

Warning: Warning: Public sex, mutual pining, vaginal sex, hand-job, fingering, talks of masterbation, angry Satan.

Day 2 of Kinktober event/prompt list.

Amazing thank you to @crystal13unny for being my beta 💛

Mid-terms were looming and overstressed didn’t come close to explaining how everyone felt. Whilst life was normally chaotic amongst demons, this way beyond words due to how dysfunctional life had become. Mammon had been “retail therapy” shopping so much that goldie broke, Asmo repainted his nails at least four times a day, while Leviathan's beloved console was becoming dusty with neglect. All because Lucifer was bringing forth tenfold his normal strictness to ensure revisions happened, causing tension to run through the household.

Beel was stress eating, which meant consuming triple what he normally ate, hardly leaving anything in the fridge. To say Lucifer lost his shit would be an understatement. He was livid causing sparks of arguments to fly across the house of Lamentation. Of course as soon he started, Satan retaliated as he always did. 

“Will you be considerate for just once and not eat us out of food!” Slamming the fridge shut, his red eyes pulsing with anger, “Shouldn’t you be studying rather than indulging in your gluttonous ‘habits’,”. It was asked as a question but meant clearly as a statement.

“Lay off him Lucifer! You know how he gets around exams,” The blonde rolling his eyes at Lucifer's comment, the others around him on the table all going silent, eyes falling upon him before darting back to Lucifer for his response. 

“Don’t you start getting involved Satan, keep your nose out where it doesn’t belong,”.

“Doesn’t belong? You're openly yelling at Beel for something he can’t help, just back off Lucifer, I am sick of you breathing down everyone’s necks!” the sound of Satan's fist slamming down on the oak table range clearly through the air. The tension was thick in the room, one wrong move and it would set alight, causing a blaze to rupture in the household. All it took was a tutt and snide remark from Lucifer before Satan dashed across the room and pinned him against the kitchen counter, fists balled up in a firm grasp with the material of the eldest shirt.

“Another word Lucifer and I swear,” Satan hissed, his normal soft demeanour now lost in a sea of wrath. Green eyes normally the colour of soft apple candy now shone dark with tinges of yellow, the iced-cold anger behind them enough to make any human freeze and shiver with fear. Lucifer was no human and went unfazed at the younger's outburst, simply pushing him off him with a, “If you cared this much as your midterms rather than your dopey siblings you could actually pass them with a decent grade,”.  

It took the strength of Leviathan and Mammon, quickly running from the table to grip Satan to stop him from swinging at Lucifer. A simple tut, a wave of his hand and a “childish,” was all he left them with before exiting. 

“I’ll kill him, I’ll actually fucking kill him,” Satan screamed, chest heaving up and down as the others tried to calm him down. 

“Who we killing?” A young girl came strolling into the kitchen, yawning as she did, stretching her arms above her head causing her shirt to slide up and expose her stomach slightly. 

“Morning cutie!” Asmo rushed to her side, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her with him back to the table. 

“Lucifer,” Belphine huffed, head resting upon the table with his eyes shut. 

“Oh I’m in,” Reaching for for a slice of toast only to out it back when she saw a scorpion tale sticking out of the crust, demon food was just not her thing, “He’s been on my case for the last few weeks, I’ve hardly had any time to myself because of his schedule he’s made for me,” her eyes fell to Satan who was still heaving in the corner, before swapping a confused expression with Levi. Levi touched the tip of his nose twice, a signal between the pair to indicate an argument had/or was about to break out. 

“You okay there?” She asked, standing up and walking a few paces forward to lean against the counter, meeting Satan’s eyes.

“Yeah just old bossy arse ruining everything as usual,” He murmured, breath finally calm. 

“Don’t let him wind you up, you know he gets a kick out of seeing you so angry,” She lent over and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. A shared look amongst the other brothers and just as Mammon was about to protest the gesture, Levithan stamped on his foot to keep him quiet. 

There was something between the two, they were the best of friends, anyone and everyone could see that. It was also apparent the sexual tension that lingered between the two, slowly building up, waiting to overspill. While they loved each other as friends, certain feelings now occurred between them. He found himself rather embarrassed at fisting his cock to the thought of her nearly every night, whilst she let his name slip between her lips when her vibrator brought her to orgasm. Neither knowing or revealing how they felt for the sake of their friendship. As if too blind to recognise their feelings for each other. 

“So what was he going off about this morning?” She asked the room, going into the fridge and opening a cartoon of juice.

“Beel’s eating,” Levithan answered, watching as Beel was still moping in the corner of the room, kicking fallen debris on the floor with a huff. 

“Oh Beelze! Are you stressing eating again?” She asked, feeling sympathy for him, she did for all of them. Whilst they were demons, they had no control over their powers, each of them having their own individual quirks tied to their demonic power. 

“Yeah-” sulked from the red-head in the corner, scuffing his shoes along the floor. 

“Oh honey I’m sorry,” She took a sip out of the juice she’d poured into a clean cup, “I mean he cancelled my date for me for the other day, deemed it as not suitable time for doing my studying,”. 

The word ‘date’ made Satan’s ears prick up, he repeated the word out loud causing everyone to turn to him. 

“Hmm, with one of them cutie players from Beel’s team I do believe,” Asmo chimed in, causing a blush to grace the girls cheeks, “Muscular, tall, handsome, a little dim-witted but still!”. 

A string of curses falls from Satan’s mouth, pushing his brothers off of him, a ‘this day keeps getting fucking better’ is all he says before storming out of the room. The slam of the door is enough to signal his departure.

“What's wrong with him?” She questioned, watching how the brothers all turned to each other before her slowly.

“Isn’t it obvious? He l-” Mammon rolls his eyes with a tut but if cut off by Asmo jumping in, “He’s just stressed sweetie, he’s probably gone up to the library so why don’t you go check on him for us,”. Asmo doesn’t take a second for her response, taking the cup out of her hand and putting it down, practically shoving her out of the room. “But Asmo I!” But her protests are cut short as he shuts the door behind her. 

“You!” He hisses to Mammon who blinks in confusion.

“The fuck did I do? I can’t help that Satan is too much of a pussy to admit his feelings, The Great Mammon would never chicken out like that,”. 

“Shut up Mammon, you big idiot, let Satan tell her himself,” Levi added, the group of remaining brothers now sitting around the table. 

“You think she likes him back?” Beel asked, causing a snort from Asmo.

“Please! Have you seen the way she stares at him? I also know about her little nightly activities,” He sings in a sickly song, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Asmo the fuck that’s gross. I didn’t need to know they were fucking, no wonder he was upset she had a date,” Belphegor sighed, throwing a book at him.

“Oh sweetie no, they’ve not done it yet, but the way she says his name at night she definitely wants too,”.

“How do you even know that?”.

“I’m the avatar of lust sweetie,” Asmo rolls his eyes and flicks his wrist with annoyance at even having to state it, “Plus her room is next to mine and the other night there was definitely a ‘Satan’ slipped between them plump lips after a good ten-minutes of buzzing,”.

“Stupid human, should be thinking of me instead of him,” Mammon pouted, crossing his arms infront him as he sulked like a child.

“Lets just hope the pair admit how they feel,” Levi stated, each of the brothers secretly praying for their brother.

-

Asmo’s hunch was right, the young girl found Satan angrily moping on the first floor of the library within the house. He had his back against the wooden bookcase sat on the floor, book in lap but little attention being paid to it.

“Hey,” She smiled, taking a few steps forward waiting for his response. He grunted, trying to bury himself in the book without looking up at her. 

“Can I sit?”.

“Free place isn’t it,” he responded, flicking the page as she sat beside him, outstretched legs touching.

They sat in for a few moments in silence, Satan still pretending to be studying in his book until he finally broke it.

“So your date,” Finally closing the book and turning to her, “You never said anything,”.

“I,” Her face was blushing slightly, “I wasn’t really into him but I just, I felt too nice to say no,”. Her confession made them both laugh, finally breaking the tension between them. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I didn’t know how you would react,”.

“Me? What does it matter what I think?”.

“Your my best friend, your opinion matters the most,” She whispers, reaching between them and finding his hand, their fingers intertwining like they so often did especially when they sat in bed watching movies on a Friday night. 

It took a few minutes again before Satan spoke up, “I’m glad you didn’t go,”. 

“Oh?” He squeezed her hand, “I didn’t want to go anyway, I think he only asked because he overheard Beel teasing me about my lack of sex life,” she snorted a little with laughter, “I haven’t had sex since living in the human world. Do you know how long ago that was?” Her following words sending the demons cheeks a light pink, “I mean girls have needs too but I think Lucifer kind of got a whiff of why he wanted to take me out and well…”.

He knew exactly how many months to the exact day since she’d entered the Lamentation household, the shining ball of light that was herself weaving her way into all of their lives. How long it had been to even the touch of another person because the minute she walked into his life it lit a carnal desire which only she could quench. 

“I mean it’s been the same for me,” He laughs.

“Yeah, why is that? I always see the girls throwing themselves at you, you don’t seem that phased though?” She asked.

“I have my eye on someone else,” He rubbed his thumb over hers in a soft manner, “Someone important,”.

They shared a glance, the avatar of wrath melting into her eyes as if trying to convey the words he couldn't say out loud. Hers mirroring as she softly whispered his name.

“Satan I-...,” She started a waver in her voice, the feeling mutual for Satan to her. Both of them leaning until they were an eye-lash apart, her eyes slowly closing as Satan swallowed with an anxious breath.

It was unsure who started it but they kissed with a passion, tongues meeting in a sloppy exchange as he pulled her into his lap to straddle him. Both of them indulged in a feeling that this was right, that it was meant to be. Her hands fisted into his hair, both of them groaning as he held her waist whilst she subtly began to grind on him. 

“Is this okay?” He groaned against her lips as he unbuttoned her shirt slowly, just enough to cup her breast beneath it, thumbs tugging down the material of her bra to let her perky breasts stand free. His fingers rolling her nipples in his hands causing her to grind harder against him, heat pooling inside her stomach as her panties grew wetter by the second. 

“Yes, fuck Satan, yes don’t stop,” She replied, inhailing sharply as he pressed kisses to her neck, a trail leading down until his mouth latched over her breast.

Neither of them wanted to stop, losing themselves in the embrace of one another. When his hand skirted up her thigh beneath her skirt to rub against the wet patch of her panties she moaned his name, causing him to still for a second before continuing, the breathless way she called it made his cock stand solid. A moan he’d imagined thousands of times in his head, but none of it compared to the real thing. 

She popped the buttons on his jeans, palming his erection beneath the fabric before tugging them down just enough with his boxers for his cock to spring free. Her eyes widened as she marvelled at it, delicately taking it in the palm of her hand, his leaking head oozing wetness onto her skin.

“L-Like that,” Satan encouraged her after a few strokes, his mind fogging over at her movements. He let out a low groan against her neck, almost forgetting his brothers were only a few doors down from them and that they risked any one of the walking in.

“Your so wet,” His hand snaking beneath her panties to rub his index finger against her wet folds, her hips bucking into his touch. 

“Only for you Satan,” She whimpered, back arching as he pushed a finger inside her tight, wet heat. A noise like no-other left his lips as her walls gripped around his digit, pushing out to thrust back in until the grip around him loosened and he sped up his movements.

“Satan, I- more please,” Mouth formed in a delicate ‘o’ as two of his fingers worked inside her, knuckle deep and dripping with arousal. Her hand tightly around his cock, jerking it slowly as they both moaned into others mouths. Both eyes brimmed with lust, neither of them wanting to part from one and other for even a second.

“I can’t, I haven’t got a condom,” He swallowed, he may have one in his room but the thought of stopping now to search for one was too much. Even if she came around his fingers whilst he came on her hand, it would at least be enough to satisfy the need until they could be protected.

“I’m on,” Pressing her lips to his, pulling his hand away from her as she lined herself over his cock, “Birth control”. 

“Are you sure- fuck,” He groaned so loud the bookcase behind him trembled, the warmth of her tight walls stretching over him send his head flying backwards. It was unknown who said it, but a breathless ‘fuck’ was whispered as she lowered slowly over him. Satan pressing gentle kisses to her lips as she rose up before lowering back down, inching him further into her with each movement. She took a few moments to roll her hips slowly, Satan’s hands cupping her ass to help her down until he was fully hilted inside her. 

“Your perfect, so perfect,” Satan repeated over and over in a loving tone as her forehead pressed against his, slowly grinding movements of her hips in tightly circles.

Small rolls of her hips as his hands delicately ran from the curve of her ass to the smooth of her waist beneath her skirt, the sheer wetness dripping from her coaxing over his balls. The pit of her stomach dropped, mouth opening as her eyes expanded, the head of his cock rolling perfectly against her g-spot with each movement causing her to rock directly against that spot. His lips moved from hers, to her neck, moving down slightly to capture a nipple in his mouth as she moaned louder. He had to bite back the chuckle inside him to think for sure his brothers would hear them, but in this moment all he could focus on was the tight-heat eloping over his cock in gyrating movements. That he was claiming her, that she was his human. Heat pulsed throughout her body, feeling no shame at the sudden happening of her orgasm building. 

“I'm gonna cum, Satan, I’m gonna-” Fingernails digging into the soft green of his sweater, lips parted with her head tossed back, cheeks dusted a heavy pink as the tension in her stomach rose higher and higher. Satan’s hands working her hips, letting her move at her own leisure as she brought herself to the edge of climax, ready to be pushed off it. His vision was lost in her beauty, admiring each and every thing about her, how she was physically and mentally taking the air out of his lungs as her walls tightened over him. She came crying out his name, unable to hold back, an orgasm with the intensity like none before she had experienced. Drool pooled out the corner of her mouth, hands grasped onto him to keep her grounded as her vision flooded white, Satan’s hands pulling her down to be fully impaled by him as her walls flexed over his cock. Her sweating forehead pressed against his, rapid breaths falling from her mouth as she came down from her high, Satan groaning as her walls slowly stopped withering around him.

“Satan I lo-,” And just as she opened her eyes, they heard it from outside, Asmo screaming out.

“Lucifer don’t-!”. 

“I’m sorry,” Satan whispered, cupping her face as he pushed her off of him. The whimper she made broke his heart but he threw her behind the bookshelf, hissing at the loss of her warmth over him and the tightness of his jeans over his still solid cock as he tucked himself back in just in time for the door to burst open.

“Where is she!” Lucifer raging across the room in demon form, black onyx horns pulsing and Satan swore he could see steam coming out of his nose. “The fuck is she Satan!”.

“I don’t know what you mean, I’m simply revising as you told me too,” Satan peers up from the book he had tugged into his lap, although his sweating face, ruffled hair and panting breath was enough to signal otherwise. The heavy smell of sex dominating the aroma of the dusty library.

“Don’t play coy. I heard you down the corridor! You vile creature, tainting her like that, you should be ashamed Sata-” Lucifer barks but is stopped. Satan growled, anger controlling him as his demon form takes over, standing and pinning Lucifer against the wall as if he was merely as light as a book.

“I might not be good enough for her,” He hisses, tinged eyes pulsing with anger, “But I fucking love her, you have no right Lucifer, no right. Just because you can’t have her doesn’t mean you can control her,”. He gives a dark chuckle, smirking to see Lucifer's face fluster, “Yeah that’s what I thought, that's why you want us all to study, so you can keep her all to yourself but guess what Lucifer,”. Satan peered into his eyes before moving his hold to choke Lucifer, leaning to the side of him as he whispered in his ear, “It was my cock she was just coming over,” The whimper from Lucifer made Satan smug with pride, “So I suggest you leave, unless you want to watch me fuck her... Oh how glorious that would be seeing you wishing, no, lusting to be me as I drive my cock into her tight walls, for only me to ever do so. She’s my human Lucifer, mine,”. He lets out a cheshire grin before releasing his hold on Lucifer, watching him choke a few breaths before turning on his heels and leaving, his pride purely kicked to the curb. 

“Are you okay?” Satan turned back around, running to the bookcase where he had pushed the girl off, watching her nod from behind where she was hiding. “I’m so sorry you had to see that,” He whispered, cradling her in his arms, the moments of darkness passing as fast as it came, she bringing out the best and light out from inside him. 

“It’s okay, really I’m just glad he came in then and not when- you know, I guess we were a little loud,” She smiled with a light blush, her askew clothes now fixed, “Did you mean what you said… about Lucifer liking me…?”. 

“You can’t tell? That’s why he’s kept us all ‘studying’ to keep us away from you,” Satan tucking a strand of stray hair behind her ear.

“I didn’t realise, I mean- I didn’t realise you liked me either so,” A nervous laughter followed.

“All my brothers like you,” Cupping her face in his palm and stroking her lip with his thumb, “But I-... I love you,”. 

“I love you too Satan,” She whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down to kiss her. The kiss quickly deepend, the couple picking up their previous rhythm before being interrupted before she pulled away. Satan frightened he had scared her with his actions to Lucifer.

“Do you-” Twirling her index finger along his chest, hiding her face in a bashful manner, “Do you think that… we could finish this in your room?”.

“Of course, we don’t have to continue if you're uncomfortable,” Pressing a kiss to her forehead, a softer side of Satan that only she would ever get to see.

“No no!” She quickly added, “It’s just- Lucifer's room is next door and I- well, you know, I feel we owe him a little revenge for the past few weeks… and as well,”. Her hand moved down to cup his still hard cock through his jeans, “You didn’t get to finish,”.

“You are perfect, you know that?” Satan laughed, cupping her face again and kissing her nose.

“Um as well,”.

“Yes?”.

“Do you think the whole wall pinning and choking… we could-maybe-try it?” Her face burning red as Satan felt his cock twitch, the horns on the side of his that had subsided as his anger calmed now re-appeared but this time for lust, not anger. 

“Fuck me you’re so fucking perfect,” He mumbled once more, picking her up in his arms with her legs around his waist as he kissed her deeply, carrying her from the library to his room. 

Kinktober masterlist here.