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jokeroutsubs · 4 months

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[ENG translation] Rock'n'roll in the blood

An interview with the Guštin family in Slovenian newspaper Delo, originally published 6.2.2022.

Original article is available here for Delo subscribers. Original article written by Agata Rakovec Kurent for Delo; photos by Jože Suhadolnik; English translation by a member of Joker Out Subs, native proof reading by IG GBoleyn123.

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post! And if you repost the photos, do not crop out the photographer credit.

Next Saturday (12.2.2022), Gušti and young singer Leyre will present themselves at EMA¹, but first, we visited him and his family in Bežigrad².

The Guštins (right to left) Chantal, Maja, Kris, Miha and Maks, were all happily rolling around the house during lockdowns and having a pretty nice time. PHOTO: Jože Suhadolnik/Delo

Just as I was looking at the names on the doorbells and considering calling Gušti about whether I was even at the right address in Bežigrad, the last of the five family members, Kris, came hurrying home. Actually, there are six family members, alongside Chantal and Gušti and their kids Kris, Maks and Maja, there is also Apple the dog, who greeted me with loud barking. Dogs remain with their parents even when the kids start to leave the nest, we agreed as we sat down at a big wooden table.

For musician Gušti and Chantal Van Mourik from the Netherlands, everything started with a teenage seaside romance. After that, nothing happened for ten years, but when Gušti wrote Big Foot Mama's big hit Črni tulipan, he could not imagine anyone other than his teenage love in the music video. He invited her to the filming, she came, and the rest is history. Three decades and three children later, their first-born Kris is following his dad's footsteps as the guitarist of Joker Out, the most popular band among the Slovenian youth right now.

We all know Miha 'Gušti' Guštin as Big Foot Mama's guitarist and the writer of their biggest hits. 20 years ago, he went his own way, musically, and recorded his first solo album Dolce Vita, where his successful collaboration with Polona Kasal³ started. He also did a memorable duet with Zagreb resident Ema Gagro, but let's start at the end.

If not for the good song, then for the laughter…

Next Saturday, we'll see something completely new at EMA, as he has joined forces with young singer Leyre⁴. How did they find each other? "People have been hinting that I should sign up for EMA for years and years and I never did, but this time I told myself that I would sign up if I found a truly good vocalist.

Producer Žare and I started looking, and through Dušan Obradinovič - Obre, drummer of the band Dan D, we got to Leyre. Leyre is Spanish by birth, she came to Slovenia when she was two years old. She's from Novo mesto, she is 19 years old and studies in Ljubljana. It's a one-time musical collaboration, just for EMA, so that I can finally have an answer for everyone who has been asking me for years: 'Why don't you sign up once?'" explains Gušti.

His family, especially Chantal and Kris, were initially pretty sceptical about this endeavour. Because it's a circus, because it's always said to be "rigged"?

"No, not because it's rigged, but because I thought that dad had slight misconceptions about what you can achieve with a song at EMA. My reservation was that if you go to EMA with a bad song, it falls through, no one remembers it, and it all doesn't seem worth the effort to me. Of all the songs that have been on EMA, 95 percent have sunk into oblivion, and I didn't want something like that to happen to dad.

Once we talked things through, however, and especially once I heard the song, I supported him, just like mum did. If you go to EMA, you have to win, otherwise it all passes you by, that's my opinion," says Kris.

Is Eurovision as much of a circus in the Netherlands as it is here? "It used to be, but now it's not like that anymore. For the past few years, they haven't even had a pre-selection. There's a committee that picks the performer who then represents the country at Eurovision. As for Miha, I think it's great that he signed up. The song is fantastic and the singer is truly exceptional.

On the other hand, I find it all amusing. I know Miha, and Miha is not about make-up and image, but with EMA all of that matters, the sound and the look are a package and it's absolutely not just about the song. That part, the fact that Miha is going to clothes fittings, is greatly amusing to everyone in the family," Chantal laughs.

Next Saturday, they will all keep their fingers crossed for Gušti and Leyre at EMA. Photo: Jože Suhadolnik/Delo

So did Gušti have a particularly shiny tuxedo made for EMA? "The styling will absolutely be appropriate for the event. I turned to a stylist, we just ordered everything, but I will wear a nice, elegant suit, which will still be rock chic."

The youngest members of the family, Maks and Maja, are smirking as their dad talks about rock chic. How interested is their generation in EMA anyway? "I don't know, I never asked my friends about it," is the concise answer of the youngest, seventh grader Maja, who is great at artistic gymnastics, as well as being the most artistically talented in the family.

"To be honest, I don't watch it and I'm not very interested in these things, but I will definitely watch it when dad performs, if not for the good song, then for the laughter," Maks' honesty makes everyone present laugh loudly.

History is repeating itself

Kris, who just graduated in chemical engineering, was not too enthusiastic about Big Foot Mama or Gušti's later solo projects at first.

"Everything changed when I got involved in music myself, when the summer before my first year of high school, I took up the guitar. At ten or twelve years old, I listened to what was playing on the radio, and that wasn't like the music that dad was making, so his music didn't interest me. In time, when I started discovering more complex music, rock, I started to enjoy his stuff.

My friends, who I'm still in a band with, introduced me to Big Foot Mama's music and tried to convince me that Črni tulipan was a totally awesome song. Then, for a while, I was like 'Oh, awesome, dad!' At first I didn't even care that he had been with the Big Foots, then I couldn't believe that he had left the band, it seemed horrible to me, but now I completely understand why he did it, and I really like what he's done since leaving," he tells us.

Chantal used to watch fans screaming in front of Big Foot Mama's stage, now she can relive those scenes at her son's concerts. "The screaming never bothered me, I always thought it was fun and interesting to watch. Nowadays, Miha and I often talk about how we're experiencing the same moments from another perspective.

Where Miha used to stand on stage, Kris now stands, where I used to stand in front of the stage as his girlfriend, we now stand together, but everything else is the same - the music, people screaming, girls going crazy, all that. I think that's great and I couldn't be more proud of Kris, of his band, and of course also of Miha and everything they achieved back then. We do sometimes truly feel like history is repeating itself, though."

However, some things did change from the time Gušti was starting out in music to today. Social media arrived, and these days, if you're not on it - you don't exist. "My kids and wife help me with social media, I'm not very good at it. Before they help me out, they always explain how clueless I am and that I should engage with it more and get with the times.

I'm not interested in these things, I can't find my footing in this world, but I know that it has to exist. I have Instagram, Facebook, and after they get done criticising me, everyone helps me out," says Gušti, while Chantal adds: "We have to help him to prevent something worse."

Apple the dog will also keep her paws crossed for Gušti at EMA next Saturday. Photo: Jože Suhadolnik/Delo

Joker Out take care of the social media themselves; "we have the natural advantage of having grown up with this, and it is unfortunately an integral part of the music scene today. We couldn't achieve much without Instagram. Well, after Facebook, Instagram is also almost 'out' now, so we have to start thinking about TikTok, which seems horrible to me," Kris tells us.⁵

His younger brother Maks is also part of Joker Out's story as a roadie. "It started with me helping the roadie, bringing water, putting away the cables and so on. Of course they didn't pay me, it was all in the family. Then I took over the merch, selling T-shirts and other things, which is pretty fun, it's a lot of work, but it pays off," he tells us, while Kris laughs, adding sarcastically: "Well, it doesn't pay off for him, because we still don't pay him."

Joker Out released an album (Umazane misli) recently, while Gušti says about his new one: "To me, having released quite a few albums already, the most important thing is that there is music. And there is music, I release a single or two every year, and once there's enough of them, there will also be an album. When that will happen, I don't know. Since I've never sung, I'm still figuring out the best direction for my vocals.

To put it bluntly…

Even before the pandemic, which devastated our music industry as well, Gušti and Siddharta's singer Tomi Meglič already found a recipe for these weird times, a cycle of 1on1 concerts: "During the Covid times, Tomi and I had 30 gigs, which was probably by far the most among all Slovenian performers. Seated, distanced gigs were possible. They were very well-attended before Covid already, and then it just kept going.

To put it bluntly, we were lucky bastards. It was just a pity that we couldn't put as many seats up for sale as usual and the pay reflected that, but at least we could play." I already joked with Tomi in a recent Nedelo interview that the format suits Siddharta's and Gušti's aging audience, who - judging by myself - finds it harder and harder to stand for two hours and longer. Gušti laughs: "It's true that it's mostly people our age who come, faithful fans of Siddharta and Big Foot Mama, there aren't many young people."

Putting together the repertoire gave them a lot of trouble, because together - they have too many hits. "At the beginning, the format was 14 songs with an encore, seven of his, seven of mine, which we immediately filled up. I chose his hits, he chose mine. The problems are arising now when we should freshen it up, but we don't want to lose any of the songs." At the end of March, the 31st, Gušti is also planning a solo concert in SiTi Theatre with a new team. "I will do a half unplugged, half electric version, and I will keep that up afterwards."

Unlike Gušti, the Jokers were hit by the crisis at the start of their musical journey. "At first, we planned to release the album on the 1st of April 2020, with a concert in Cvetličarna following on the 9th of April. A month before, everything closed down and fell apart. We rescheduled everything for May, then for October, and finally for next October. We also rescheduled the album release. Firstly because we weren't completely happy with it yet, and we also didn't see the point in releasing it, only us not to be seen anywhere for a year and a half.

Then people would come to a concert and wonder where anything new was, because they would already know everything. In a way, we were happy to delay everything. That way, a lot of the pressure was released, or stretched out over a longer period of time.

Covid seemed very inconvenient at first, we felt like we fell off the horse, but when we look back, it was a very productive time for us. We made some radical changes, in the music, in the line-up and in our way of thinking, and it shows. The tension was mounting before the concerts in Cvetličarna⁶ and that's why they were much more cathartic in the end," says Kris.

They have just renovated their rehearsal space and started working on the new album, which they have promised for September. That is also when they're planning a big concert in Križanke, before that they have summer concerts, including some outside of our borders. "We will try to get a gig in Serbia, and we will also release a song in Serbian."

The damage that was done to the music industry is huge, despite some bright exceptions. "The consequences will drag on for years. A huge part of the industry fell apart, and many found work elsewhere. Not musicians, not the people we see on stage, but the people in the background, as well as those who worked for publishers, in the distribution chain..." Chantal reflects.

A nomad in the house

Because of the uncertain situation, she hasn't visited her homeland for two years. "Maja and I are hoping that we can finally travel there on the 17th of February, so we're already half in isolation. The last time we were planning to go there was in September, but then Kris got sick, and then I did too. I'm hoping and knocking on wood that we can finally do it. In the meantime, my sister visited us twice, and at one point, Transavia also cancelled the flight connection between Ljubljana and Amsterdam, and I would've sooner made it around the world than to Amsterdam."

Kris visited his Dutch relatives, as well as his girlfriend and a friend who are studying there, for one week immediately after the Cvetličarna concert. "At that time, he called home to say that there were no restrictions there and he didn't need to have a mask on at the store, meanwhile here, everything was a lot more strict. When he came back, things relaxed a lot here, while over there the restrictions got stricter," says Chantal, who hopes that travelling will soon be something regular again and they will be able to visit their relatives more.

Since Kris just mentioned his girlfriend, I ask him whether it wouldn't be better for sold-out shows if all members of the band appeared single. "I have no reservations about publicly saying that I'm in a relationship, even though other band members might say differently. Our singer Bojan would say 'Kris got dumped by his girlfriend..." at every concert before a song I wrote when I once had a broken heart, but he didn't mention that it was four years ago," he laughs.

"As young girls, we used to wish that the boys on stage were single, but now I prefer to watch guys like Miha who are in a long-term relationship, because it means that they actually know something and have something to show for themselves," Chantal concludes wisely.

Maks and Maja have not been drawn into the music world (yet). "I did kind of pick up the guitar last year, but I quickly lost interest because I have too many things going on in my life to focus only on one. I can play a few of dad's songs, and I might turn to the guitar again at some point," says Maks, and his proud mum adds: "Maks is very skillful with the computer, he edits music clips and is working with various musicians.

Of course it started with Joker Out and Gušti, but now he's also working with Challe Salle⁷, Nipke⁸, he's making various videos for Spotify and has his own business. He's our businessman. All three of them are very creative, not only in the field of music, which is interesting. Maja, for example, draws incredibly well and is constantly making art."

All three kids are artistically gifted, say the proud parents. Photo: Jože Suhadolnik/Delo

They handled home schooling successfully, and as the family businessman and second year high school student Maks says, "I've found that being at home is better for me. The trip from home to school and back is time-consuming. If I'm at home, I have a lot more time left that I can use for myself."

Kris finished practically half of his studies remotely: "For the first year and a half, I was at the faculty and saw 250 students in one place in large halls, which was fascinating to me. With each new year I progressed to, there were fewer of us, and at the end there were about 40 of us left. Lockdown came at the right time for me.

All the lectures were recorded and I didn't have to get up early, I didn't have to take the bus at half past six in the morning, I could sleep in as long as I wanted and then watch the lectures. Because the professors speak slowly, I could set the speed to 1.5 and I wasn't losing time."

"I think we're all well-adapted to remote work," says Chantal, who is a veteran of it, "I've been working remotely for five years for the international school SAE, School of Audio Engineering, which used to be in Ljubljana as well, but shut down in 2016. Now I work for them in the international space. During lockdown, we were all happily rolling around the house and we were having a pretty nice time.

The happiest one, however, was Apple, who had company all the time." Gušti smiles: "I'm the only one in the house who doesn't have his own room, except for our bedroom. Whenever I needed peace to create, I retreated there, or I waited for example for Maja to go to her gymnastics practice so I could go to her room, or for Kris to not be home so I could go there. I'm the only nomad in the house."

When I last spoke to Chantal and Miha about ten years ago, we also talked about their filmesque love story which, with three small children, wasn't always easy. "I often got home at five in the morning, hyped up, with a good concert behind me, and Chantal placed a baby who hadn't slept all night in my arms. I was searching for that line, how to satisfy my rock'n'roll side on the one hand, and be a good husband and father on the other. I didn't always succeed, but I'm trying," says Gušti, who now sees his first-born backstage at concerts too.

Chantal, who speaks Dutch to her family as well as to Apple at home, has not grown fond of Slovenian cuisine even after 23 years: "I'm sorry, but that is really not for me, cabbage, sausages, blood sausages, dumplings… Luckily I now have kids who, apart from Kris, support me in this. Slovenia is developing though, and you can also get more and more Asian food here, which we really like and used to eat every other day back home, since my dad is originally from Indonesia." She says that Slovenians are very close-minded in some respects: "The attitude towards anything foreign is still pretty problematic here."

Maks adds the finishing touch: "If Slovenia was as developed socially as the Netherlands is, it could make a lot of progress as a country. I'm talking about the relationship between different cultures, who work together in the Netherlands, like water that always finds a way, while here, they are very separated."

¹EMA is the Slovenian national selection for Eurovision

²Bežigrad is a neighbourhood in Ljubljana

³Polona Kasal is a Slovenian singer; her and Gušti performed as a duo called "Gušti & Polona" for a few years

⁴You can watch Gušti and Leyre's performance at EMA 2022 here.

⁵Joker Out have, in fact, had to start thinking about TikTok since then. As you probably know, you can find them on TikTok here.

⁶You can watch the Cvetličarna concert with English subtitles here on our YouTube channel.

⁷Challe Salle, real name Saša Petrović, is a popular Slovenian hip hop singer, known for being very focused on being a good role model for his younger fans. One of his big hits was Lagano.

⁸Nipke, real name Boštjan Nipić, is a popular Slovenian rap/hip hop singer. He's part of the Dravle Records publishing company and collaborated with Bojan in the song Jst mam sam sebe rd.

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post! And if you repost the photos, do not crop out the photographer credit.

#kris guštin #kris gustin #joker out #miha guštin - gušti

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lopposting · 3 months

Text

Korea Game awards Game Director interview transcription <Lies of P>

Source (KR)

Hey so, I went through some Korea Game Awards stuff. It looks like there was a lot of content recorded for the event, but it doesn't really seem available online. I did find this interview with the director uploaded by a ruliweb user. It ended up being more of talk related to the industry and not all that related to LoP, but I figured I might as well share it since and I had gone through it anyway [and who knows, this could all be lost media one day!].

On LOP winning GOTY - South Korea

The Metacritic score was honestly higher than he expected

Talk about expanding the console games industry in Korea. Again, in South Korea - a leading world of PC Bangs and E-Sports, MMORPGs reign supreme! [Reading around the k-net supposedly LoP is notably one of the first major south korean developed single-player console title? I want to write about this more]

Influenced by other console, single player titles like Naughty Dog's Uncharted Series. [me: I love you, NG's The Last of Us.]

I'm pretty sure that based on his answers he will continue to spearhead the Lies of P IP

Send me an Inbox if you have a correction or see possible error/clarification needed!

[The "footage" doesn't seem available so it's a little hard for me because we can't hear the phrasing, so it's my best guess]

[VERY ROUGH TRANS]

ENG

Hello, nice to meet you, I am Choi Ji-won, general director of Lies of P [Jiwon Choi]

What games have you participated in developing so far? Asker Online, and just recently I was in charge of Lost Ark. [note: MMORPG and he did combat direction]

What do you think are the virtues of a good developer?

Above all, I think it's being clear and unwavering in direction

To what extent have I achieved compared to my goal? I think I've achieved about 80% of it.

I think the remaining 20% area

I want to at least overcome that level of fun I had, and the remaining area is one where the goal is to explore new fun

To do that, you have to put in a lot of effort, enjoy the game a lot, and talk a lot with your fellow development colleagues to achieve the fun you want

I want to get into that zone This is really honest

What advice can you give to juniors who want to become developers? Above all, you must become a gamer 'Does that fun really move you?' And do you want to give this feeling to yourself by becoming a developer?' I would like to take this opportunity to tell you once again that it is more important than anything to make an effort just to have fun

Why did you become a game developer? I've been a console game fanatic since I was young So, while enjoying famous masterpieces in console games, I also want to create a game that can provide this kind of fun I think it would be The Uncharted Series at that time I think I was able to analyze why this was fun while playing So I decided to become that kind of developer

What do you think about the Metascore rating results? [note: I'm assuming they're talking about the metacritic score, which is a critic aggregate (Lies of P currently sits at an 80)]

I'll be really honest about this too I thought it was a better score than the score I received. [Note: This is what he says, but I think what he means is "It was a better score than the one what I was expecting"] When I saw the evaluations of the metascore I realized I was only thinking about a small aspect and thought, 'I was [too] focused on the completion of just this area' But now, 'I need to think about a broader field and focus on it again.' It was that kind of experience

What is your ultimate goal as a developer?

Rather than being a developer who receives positive reviews from users, I actually want to remain as a developer who has a positive influence on other fellow developers in the field I hope to become someone who can serve as an opportunity to further improve and develop the development culture and development capabilities of our country's game industry

How do you feel when you receive positive and negative feedback?

(If you think positively) Thank you But I think we should never be satisfied with that (When receiving negative feedback) More and more, there were instances of reflection from a gamer's perspective like ‘Okay. I should have been more in his shoes.’

Any last words you would like to say? I don't think this award is ever meant for me I think this is an award given to everyone on the team I will take this as a sign to work even harder in the future We will continue to do our best to become a developer that can provide only fun and emotion

KOR

안녕하세요 반갑습니다 <> 총괄 디렉터 최지원 입니다

Q: 그동안 개발에 참여하신 게임은 ?

<애스커 온라인>, 직전엔 <로스트아크> 프로젝트를 담당했습니다

Q: 좋은 개발자의 덕목은 무엇이라고 생각하시나요?

무엇보다 뚜렷하고, 흔들리지 않는

방향성을 제시하는 것이라고 생각합니다

Q: 내 목표정에 비해 어는 정도까지 달성했나요?

약 80% 정도는 달성했다고 생각을 해요

남은 20% 영역

본인이 느꼈던 그 재미 이상을 넘어서

새로운 재미를 추구할 수 있는 영역이라고 생각을 합니다

그러려면 정말 노력도 많이 해야 되고

게임도 많이 즐겨야 되고

같은 개발 동료분들과도

원하는 재미를 정말 많이 한 방향이 되도록

대화도 많이 해야 되거든요

저는 그 영역에 도달하고 싶습니다

이게 정말 솔직한 겁니다

Q: 개발자가 되고 싶은 후배들에게 해줄 수 있는 조언은?

무엇보다 게이머가 되어야 됩니다

그 재미를 통해서 본인에게 정말 감동이 되는가?'

그리고 이 감동을 본인도 개발자가 돼서 선사하고 싶은가?'

진짜 재미만을 위해서 노력하는 게

무엇보다 중요하다는 것,

다시 한번 이 자리를 빌려서 말씀드리고 싶습니다

Q: 게임 개발자가된 계기?

저는 어렸을 적부터 콘솔 게임 덕후였습니다

그래서 콘솔 게임에서 유명한 명작들을 즐기면서

나도 꼭 이런 재미를 줄 수 있는 게임을 만들고 싶다

그때는 <언차티드 시리즈>일 것 같아요

플레이하면서 이게 왜 재밌는지를 분석을 할 수 있었던 것 같아요

그래서 그러한 개발자가 되기로 결심을 하게 됐습니다

Q: 메세타스코어 평점결과 에 대해서 어떻게 생각하시나요?

이것도 정말 솔직하게 얘기할게요

받은 점수보다는 더 나은 점수라고 생각을 했었어요

그 메타스코어에 대한 평가 내용들을 봤을 때는

납득이 가더라고요

작은 영역에서만 생각을 했었고

'그 부분에 대한 완성도만 봤었구나...'

근데 이제는 '더욱더 넓은 분야까지도 생각을 하고,

또 정진해야겠다.' 그러한 계기가 됐었습니다

Q: 궁극적인 개발자로서의 목표가 있다면?

유저들에게 좋은 호평을 받는 개발자이기보다는

현업에 있는 다른 동료 개발자들에게

긍정적인 영향을 미치는 개발자로 사실 남고 싶어요

우리나라 게임업계에 대한 개발 문화나

개발력이 더욱더 개선되고 발전하는

그러한 계기가 될 수 있는 사람이 되었으면 좋겠습니다

Q: 긍정적 & 부정적 피드백을 받을때의 기분은?

(긍정적으로 생각해주시면) 감사하죠

하지만 그것으로 만족해서는 절대 안 된다고

생각을 하고 있습니다

(부정적 피드백을 받으면) 더욱더 게이머 입장에서

'아차, 제가 더욱... 더 그분의 입장이 되어야 했었구나'라고

반성을 하는 경우도 많았었습니다

Q: 마지막으로 하고싶으신 말은?

이 상은 결코 저에게 주는 상이 아니라고 생각을 해요

팀 모든 분들에게 주어지는 상이라고 생각을 하고

앞으로도 더욱더 열심히 하라는 뜻으로 받아들이겠습니다

오직 재미와 감동만을 선사할 수 있는

그런 개발자가 되도록

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#man my korean is really not good #I am going through some LOP IRL stuff first! sorry for the wait for inbox answers.#I did come across some other interesting game-related stuff that I plan on sharing later #lies of p #liesofp #lop #lop irl #lop bts #jiwon choi #translation #korea game awards #full disclosure: i put it through google translate and then went through it manually a couple of times for error check/edits

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marshmallowprotection · 1 year

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YIKES i knew chairman han was bad but i didn't realize just how bad (only recently got back into the game and im still farming hourglasses for AS 😭), big fucking yikes man. once i finish beating saejoons ass he's next

We don't even have time to unpack all the things that have happened to Jumin because of his parents. Unfortunately, the only way to know what his mother did to him is to suffer your way through the Bad End DLC to get that content. But, rest assured, Jumin's parents are likely some of the worst parents you'll ever have the displeasure of getting to know for a variety of reasons.

Chairman Han's girlfriends, flings, and wives caused disruptions in Jumin's life. No matter what their intentions were with his father, all of the women didn't care for him properly. They didn't want to be up close and personal with a kid. The ones who bothered him the most were the ones that sexually harassed him. We know that he began to face certain discomfort and violation at a very young age.

Chairman Han did nothing to speak to his son about his girlfriends whenever they came in and out of Jumin's life, too. He simply turned his head and assumed his son was okay with it. Like most things that he does. We have nothing that says Chairman Han ever once tried to talk to his son about bringing a new person home. He just went with it. Jumin had no choice but to deal with it.

I mean, look at the Glam and Sarah Choi situation. No matter how you cut it, Chairman Han's inability to think a situation through when it comes to romance harmed his son. He says himself he gets swept away in love sometimes, but when you have a child, you should never bring people around your kids unless you trust that person and know you want to be with them.

On top of this, Chairman Han doesn't engage with anything that Jumin is actually interested in. He and his son talk about things in and out of high society, they talk about work, they talk about stocks, and they engage in the expected sports of rich people. They have a relationship but I wouldn't call it this a father-son bond. I would say they've lived together for a long time but they don't really know each other.

Buy your son anything he could ever want but you're not going to give him what he really needs. That's what Chairman Han is. There is nothing money can do for Jumin's happiness. What he needs comes from the heart.

Chairman Han doesn't know or talk about Jumin's love of the occult, dark magic, the supernatural, or the like. Do you want to know who does know of those things? Literally, just the RFA, who are Jumin's found family. The people who care about him as much as he cares about them, even if everyone struggles sometimes with this or that. They do more for Jumin than his father does.

Chairman Han called his son a robot during the Saeran After Ending. You know, when it's logical for any person to have a meltdown when it turns out your best friend lied to you, committed crimes you can't even imagine, and threw you and your found family under the bus to help your other friend who you thought was dead but has been alive this entire time, running a cult no less. Jumin is someone who masks his emotions a lot in the name of doing what's right.

But, is he a robot for that? No. He's not. He wants to be logical and help others. He tries to control himself so someone can make things right. But, even he is allowed to cry. How dare Chairman Han say his son is a robot. You know, sometimes the RFA says Jumin is a robot to his face, but at the least, we know that they're not trying to be mean about it.

There's a huge miscommunication because Jumin hasn't explained the depth of what that word is.

And if you want to know why being called a robot hurts... it's because of his mother. I won't go into too much detail about what his mother did to him because that's a lot but... Jumin's always been the type to mask. He doesn't have interests like other kids did. He enjoyed a lot of alone time, reading, and engaging with the world his way. But, his mother hated that he wasn't "normal".

She once locked him in a basement for hours on end with toys with the expectation that he wouldn't be allowed out until he acted like all the other children his age. Hours. He was in there for hours.

Don't even get me started on the way that Jumin talks so naturally about being kidnapped multiple times as a child. For the love of God, Jumin Han needs therapy to unpack this trauma in a healthy way and his support network with the RFA. It's no wonder why he dreams of a world where he has a family of his own. His original family was shit.

#character analysis #ask #mod kait #anon #mystic messenger #mm #mysme #mysticmessenger

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lady-perihelia · 2 years

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Bone(s) to pick with Motonari's route

Let me start it off by saying that IkeSen is my favorite otome game ever. Hell, it might be one of my favorite games, period. All the routes I have gone through were great in their own ways. I have taken a long break from games, and the first one I came back to was, as you might guess, IkeSen. I have stopped playing right when Motonari was introduced (ENG), so I was rather excited to see I came back to his route already being there, so of course, I dove right in.

You know, we always joke that all these boys have trauma MC has to fix; all these suitors are good people that had a lot of bad things happen to them. Motonari is different. He is a bad person who had a lot of bad things happen to him. He is a scumbag, and he is perfectly aware of it, nay, he is absolutely at peace with that thought; and I think that is genuinely great. It is not a Kenshin who is a misunderstood villain, it is not a Kennyo who knows he is doing bad things, but believes his reasons are important enough to explain them, and maybe repent. Mouri is a scoundrel because it is the only fun way to live, and that is an important distinction from others.

There is no sympathy for the devil here, Motonari is straight-up evil, he has a corrupt moral code which is obviously very different from MC’s. (which is very entertaining to explore in the Spark of Love and Captive Hearts gacha stories, his shitty morals from his own POV are a treat) We finally have a suitor on our hand that MC won’t understand by just digging her way to his heart. All she digs up are the (legitimate) reasons for the way he is, that is it; there is no heart of gold to be found deep down there. This Mr. Twister really shines through as the dickhead he is in others' routes. (I was absolutely enamoured by him in Sasuke's route, like yes, go, Joker looking ass, do your thing, king) There is literally no room for "eh, maybe he is just a bad boy with a heart of gold".

This brings me exactly to the reason this route left me somewhere between “confused” and “frustrated”. There are no touching (see what I did there) points between these two, no way they would find common ground. Yet just 2 chapters before the Epilogue, all of a sudden Motonari has a change of heart because MC is hot ig idk™️ . There was no slow and non-linear build-up to his change like there was with Kenshin, for example. Mouri just decided he loves MC now for some bloody reason, he goes from treating her like a dog to like the love of his life in a snap, losing all character integrity. There is no chemistry there, as I said, these two literally are opposites and not the attracting ones, but the facing-absolutely-different-directions ones. Their "bickering" was more like serious warranted disagreements and actual fighting, there was nothing cute about them constantly arguing. It is like we were just given a very good character study instead of a route, and at the end someone went “oh shoot, the romance!” I did not “believe” MC throughout the whole thing either, she excused some of Motonari’s most questionable behavior (even at the very damn beginning!) solely because of his physical attractiveness, that is it. I guess the power of horny “fixed” the man! (AND his OCD! Which is a separate reason for my frustration altogether)

I am just angry that MC went through no transformation of her own, I guess. I think that would have salvaged the route in some way. Just for reference, to describe what I mean, I’d say Nobunaga’s and Masamune’s routes are two very good examples of MC and the suitor learning from each other. In Motonari’s route, however, MC just fully drags Mouri into her mindset (again, with no effort, blink and you’ll miss the point it happens) without making a single step towards him. Imagine how cool it would have been if we finally got a Bonnie and Clyde instead of a Beauty and the Beast? (shoutout)

That brings me over to my last point. Do you know who had chemistry, unlike MC and Motonari? Do you know whose convictions were different but on the same axis? Do you know whose bickering was fun? Kicho and Motonari. (At first I was like, haha, Motonari and Kicho as a joke, but bro, I don't think it’s a joke anymore) Yes, I am dead serious. I consciously acknowledged that I sensed that whole dynamic being delightful and making sense during the scene where Mouri smokes in front of Kicho. I legitimately felt like I had to make MC leave the premise to give the two the privacy they clearly needed. Motonari and Kicho are those aforementioned opposites that attract, and I realized how little sense Motonari made with MC only thanks to these two guys' electricity being there for contrast. They are similar enough – there is a reason Kicho did not hire Motonari and Motonari did not hire Kicho – they were partners in crime, equals; yet different enough to disagree, while still doing the same thing. They just did it for different reasons, whereas MC was busy with something from a completely different field, and of course, for reasons absolutely disconnected from both of the men. Both are extremely smart, but Mouri is hot-headed and Kicho would give Elsa a run for her money, Motonari is quick and cunning, and Kicho is careful and calculated. These are polar opposites that attract. Just imagine if all this was cut from this couple and applied to MC and Motonari instead.

I just felt very disappointed by an unchanging goody two shoes, genuinely infuriating flowerhead MC and the weakest relationship writing I have seen in IkeSen yet.

#Ikemen Sengoku #IkeSen Motonari #IkeSen Kicho #Cybird

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sasukesun · 1 year

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some sk shippers think that karin is as important to sasuke as naruto and itachi because he awakened a new power for her and went into complete darkness only when he stabed her (why didn't he want to kill her to stay alone then?)

they claim that sasuke didn't want to kill karin and therefore told her not move (but didn't he pierce her through the heart? and before that she was thrown around by his susasano... why would he care about her well-being?) and that he hesitated when tobi said to finish her off (but he wanted to kill her anyway and was distracted by sakura didn't he?)

they believe that sasuke slept with karin because of the suigetsu's commentary (but they were like 13-14 years old💀 sasuke was surprised when karin said she was agree to work with him...why would he be surprised if he should understand why she agrees...sk shippers like to say that karin can be rude to sasuke so why is she not outraged when he doesn't let her get close if they already fucked ...). they remind me of ss shippers who believe that sasuke spied upon sakura🤣🤣🤣 they like to criticize ss but sk are just as dumb as ss😳

some of those shippers believe that sasuke loved/had romance with karin because of the statement in suigetsu's profile from the 4th databook and that kishi wanted to make them canon but karin wasn't as popular as sakura (why did sasuke end up with other girl if karin's feelings weren't one-sided ... sasuke didn't love any girl and unfortunately he could end up with any of them lmao). that's why kishi made salad to believe that karin was her mother and some of sk think that karin is her actual mother (but sasuke abandon his daughter anyway... what is so good about it?)

some sk shippers don't understand why sasuke would be truly alone only without naruto. they think taka is important for sasuke because he wanted to save juggo (but sasuke needed him for some jutsu didn't he?) and apologized to karin (but would he apologized if she hadn't come running to him herself?😭... sasuke just abandoned all of them and didn't look for them because he no longer needs taka isn't it?)

i thought sasuke cared of team 7 and team taka while they were his teammates, but once they weren't, he didn't give a fuck about both of them (except for naruto)

so... i'm sorry this ask is so long and for my mistakes (eng is not my first language) and I wonder are sk opinions true? I didn't read the manga but watched anime and I didnt notice any karin's or taka's impact on sasuke at all. so pls tell if there are any differences in the manga

i’m sorry but those people are as delusional as ss shippers and they have a poor understanding of sasuke’s character to say at least.

they conveniently forget that sasuke had to think of team 7 before saving karin. i wouldn’t even say that’s exactly a new power because he just didn’t know if that was possible to do, it wouldn’t necessarily make it an awakening… but yeah, if karin is so important to him and makes him so emotional, emotional enough to improve his sharingan, why he had to think of team 7 before doing that? yikes. his feelings for her aren’t sufficient to provoke an emotion strong enough for that?

i’ve also talked about karin’s sacrifice during kage summit here. and yes, he was going to finish her off before being interrupted. and then he asked sakura to do it because he knew she was lying and that would test her.

the whole “sasuke and karin were fucking” is a big yikes too, like do i have to say how ridiculous that is? i’ve never read something so idiotic in my whole life. and using databooks to prove so? do people know that databooks aren’t written by the mangakas? they are usually written by editors or someone else, it’s not kishimoto’s work. and why people think kishimoto making the whole salad drama makes sk look good? yeah, salad is karin’s daughter, sasuke fucked her once, took her child, gave her to sakura and then abandoned her. sorry, kishimoto mocks both ss and sk in gaiden, he just doesn’t like the idea of sasuke with a woman k.

sasuke rejects karin’s approaches. why asking her to not get so close makes people think otherwise? i’ve also talked about this already. so yeah, he doesn’t get they are hitting on him and yet he still doesn’t want them to get close. he pretty much rejects karin and sakura the same way in relation to physical contact. when sakura confesses, he is harsher to her because she makes a scene and acts inconsiderate and self absorbed in her confessions, this is a way of him calling her out on her behaviour, but the other approaches he pretty much acts the same with karin and sakura, the difference is that karin never confessed while being pathetic and egocentric.

you’re right about how sasuke felt towards team 7 and team taka. he is a good teammate, he felt responsible for his team, that’s why he saves them, but has no strong bond with either. the moment they aren’t his teammates anymore/the moment he doesn’t need their skills anymore, he doesn’t care about them as people. and it’s clearly different when it comes to naruto, who needed to die so sasuke could be truly alone. karin, or any team taka member for what matters, will never be on the same level of itachi and naruto to sasuke, it’s canon.

#ask #anonymous

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kon-konk · 1 year

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What do you think of the different Servamp characters?

I feel like I unintentionally wrote quite a bit, so buckle up.

I wanted to wait until I finished the anime before answering this one. Overall, I like that they're all individually the weirdest people, each in their own way. Outside of Mahiru's human friends (whose names I may or may not have forgotten), Mahiru is the most normal, and that's saying something on account of the whole "I like to keep things simple and life uncomplicated *proceeds to complicate the living fuck out of his life every chance he's given*" thing.

I watched the Eng dub of this since that's what Funimation had to offer and I couldn't be assed to look anywhere else (though when the blu-ray comes in I'll certainly rewatch it with sub instead because i need to know if Tsubaki's laugh is like that across both versions) and, uh... why is Mikuni very Southern USA cowboy accent while Misono is very much not? Is he like that in some sense in the manga? in the jp dub? I need to know more about him. And Jeje, too.

I haven't even met Gluttony and Wrath, except for flashbacks, so I'm pumped to read the manga and find out what kind of weird they are.

But I do really like that, for the most part, the silly weird that everyone seems to be is also balanced out by very real ambitions and wants and needs and fears and sorrows. Like the way Lawless (or should I be calling him Hyde?) kinda feels like a theater kid meme on legs sometimes but the way he treats his Eves is hiding how much he hurt losing one he cared about. Or how Kuro comically lazes about and finds everything to be a bother, but underneath it he's very much still coming to terms with things he's done in the past.

Out of the subclasses, I will say Sakuya and Berukia stand out. They are shown more than most of the others, so it may just be that they're more interesting by default of seeing them more. I really like Sakuya's hair, and that's all the thought that I really needed to put in that to like him. He is an interesting character, though. Mahiru seems to be a pretty easy to befriend dude, but Sakuya went through the trouble to forge memories so Mahiru would believe he'd known Sakuya for years. Dude probably would have achieved the exact same kind of friendship without that extra effort.

Berukia on the other hand... I just think he's a funky dude. I like his little plushie (puppet? what did he turn into? I wanna squish it) form. I've mentioned before that he gives me jester vibes, and I get that he's supposed to be a magician, but that assessment did not change one bit over the course of the anime.

I want to know more about the dude from C3, Tsurugi. He feels like there was probably more to him in the manga than what was shown in the anime. Actually, I get the general impression that there was probably a lot more detail in the manga that was left out of the anime.

Also I love Tsubaki's laugh

#pei answers things #i can't guarantee any of this is properly coherent. it all just tumbled out and i went with it #also i did not proofread this one bit so good luck #and i did in fact finish the last episode and immediately buy the blu ray. it'll be here next week

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jewwyfeesh · 2 years

Text

Fairy Tales in a Dream 3

Writer: Mitsuki

Character(s): Sakuma Ritsu, Shino Hajime, Narukami Arashi

Translated by: jewwyfeesh

Proofed by: stcrfeesh (CN), ohcheckmate (ENG)

Ooh? This apple pie… it looks a little—

Please note:

Contains explicit mentions of drugging/addition of unknown substance into food without prior consent, which is immediately clarified to be a harmless substance.

Season: Summer

Location: Garden

Hajime: Narukami-senpai, thank you for joining the tea party Ritsu-onii-chan and I are hosting ♪

I’ve prepared some floral tea that’s good for your complexion, senpai! It would be wonderful if you could try it!

Arashi: Of course. Tea brewed by Hajime-chan is bound to be very delicious ♪

My, you don’t have to thank me so formally! Just being able to accompany Hajime-chan to shop for accessories already makes me so very happy.

That reminds me, when I walked into the garden just now, there was a very sweet fragrance wafting through the air, but I don’t think it's the scent of tea?

Ritsu: Ding ding~ Well, that’s an apple pie specially made by yours truly, Chef Sakuma Ritsu~ ♪

Arashi: Ooh? This apple pie… it looks a little—

Ritsu: A little…?

Arashi: Ufufu, Ritsu-chan, you don’t have to look so nervous. I don’t think it looks ugly or anything.

It would be better to say that it looks overly normal to the point where it’s quite suspicious… is this apple pie really made by your own two hands?

Ritsu: Eh, how rude~ I wanted to thank Nacchan for taking care of my adorable little brother, so I went to great lengths to purposely bake the apple pie to look like those you see in regular dessert stores.

Hajime: Ehehe, I can vouch for Ritsu-onii-chan on this. Onii-chan worked really hard to give Narukami-senpai a real treat!

Ritsu: Could it be that Nacchan actually prefers my original creations? Well, I don’t mind making another one, hehehehe ♪

Arashi: Ah– g-goodness, I never said I didn’t want to eat this!

Anyway, thank you Ritsu-chan, for your kindness. I’ll dig in now… ♪

Ritsu: ………… (Gazing intently)

Hajime: ………… (Gazing intently)

Arashi: Nom nom… mmh, after biting into the crispy crust, the sweet and sour taste of the apples seem to melt on my tongue! It’s super delish ♪

Though, if the both of you keep staring at me like that, I’ll be too embarrassed to continue eating…

Ritsu: Fufu. Nacchan really doesn’t have a sense of danger, huh. It’s too late.

Just one bite is sufficient for the poison to spread throughout your whole body… ♪

Arashi: W-what…? I’ve been poisoned?! I won’t just drop dead, would I?!

Hajime: Narukami-senpai, please calm down! Actually… we asked Sakasaki-senpai to make some vanilla extract out of some ‘Truth Potions’, and mixed it into the batter while we were baking the apple pie…

This way, after Narukami-senpai has eaten the apple pie, you’ll have no choice but to answer our questions truthfully.

But this potion is completely harmless, so please be at ease!

Ritsu: Hey hey, why did you spill all of the beans in one go, Ha~kun? I had wanted to tease Nacchan a little more.

Hajime: Sob sob, it’s because it doesn’t sit right with me to prank Narukami-senpai like that…

Arashi: Hold on a minute. My mind is in a complete disarray right now. Why would the both of you do this to me…?

Ritsu: Of course, it’s because we want to know what’s been bothering Nacchan lately~ But we were also afraid that you wouldn’t be willing to tell us — you’ll sweep it under the carpet with a smile, just like you’ve always done.

Although we had to turn to drastic measures, I do think it’s rather innovative ♪

Location: Staff Canteen

[A few days earlier, in the staff canteen]

Ritsu: Sigh… Ecchan was the one who said he wanted to meet up with the former members of Tea Club for a meal from time to time, but in the end, he still ditched us for dinner with the higher-ups.

Hajime: Ahaha. After all, Eichi-onii-chan does have a lot on his plate, given his overall position. There will always be some social engagements that he simply can’t decline.

Ritsu: Hmph. He sent a message saying he’ll be bringing in some expensive snacks and tea leaves as an apology, so I guess I’ll forgive him… for now…

Hm? That person holding a tray while glancing around like a lost lamb, isn’t that Anzu?

Hajime: Ah, it really is Anzu-senpai! There are lots of people in the canteen right now; judging from her expression, could it be that she’s unable to find a seat?

Ritsu: Hey~ Anzu, over here~ We have an empty seat at our table~

Hajime: Ehehe, it’s been a long time since I’ve eaten together with Anzu-san… I’m really happy ♪

Ritsu: Seems like it’s fate that Ecchan’s not here today… Haha, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.

Hajime: You’re asking if I had a smooth time choosing my accessories? Of course! Narukami-senpai has a good eye, and she’s always able to pick out the cutest accessories that best match my style ♪

However, I don’t know if it was just me… but when I was out shopping with her, it was as if she was forcing herself to act energetic, and sometimes she'd get lost in thought…

Anzu-senpai thinks so too? …Oh, so you figured it out from her tone when you called to ask for her help.

Ritsu: So Anzu, what you’re saying is — you’ve always been worried that you keep unloading additional burdens onto Nacchan even though she’s already very busy as well. Is that right?

Nacchan’s always been very clear on how much work she can handle, and wouldn’t bite off more than what she can chew. She’s not the kind of person who would accept something out of fear of hurting your feelings, too.

Hajime: Hmm… even though I really do want to know Narukami-senpai’s true thoughts, I don’t think that’s something I should ask.

It would be great if there was something that would let her talk about it on her own accord. For example… a potion that, once drunk, would cause the person to only speak the truth…?

Ahaha, I’m sorry, my imagination’s running really wild. It’s probably because I’ve been reading fairytales of late, so my line of thought has become closer to that of a child.

Ritsu: …No, I think Ha~kun is onto something. Who knows, there really might be something like this out there.

Hajime: Eh? R-really?!

Ritsu: Or should I say… even if it doesn’t exist, we’ll just have to make it exist… ♪

Location: Garden

Arashi: …I see, I was set up by the both of you. But this also shows that my condition has been so bad recently that everyone couldn’t bear to see me like this any longer.

Alright. I had wanted to think it over on my own, but perhaps I might get a better answer if I listen to your input.

To be honest, it could be because I became a member of Dramatica… not too long ago, NewDi introduced me to a job — to act in the “Snow White” stage production put on by the agency.

Hajime: Eh? It’s also ‘Snow White’…?

Arashi: But the role that I’ve been assigned is this fairy tale’s biggest villain — The Queen.

I wonder if it’s because the agency wants the newcomers to get started as soon as possible, so they intentionally assigned them roles that are the closest to their own style…

But, I think in order to portray a faithful representation of The Queen from the original work, I’ll need to show a ruthless and strict personality — so relentless in her pursuit of beauty that she doesn’t hesitate to push people aside or to trample all over them.

This is the complete opposite of my own pursuit of beauty. Everyone has their own unique beauty, so I won’t get jealous even if there are people who are more beautiful than I am in the world.

I will continuously polish my own charm, and at the same time encourage and help the people by my side who want to become beautiful.

As a queen, I wish to establish a utopia in which everyone can smile and live prosperous lives.

Ritsu: I remember that. You also said this during Knights’ Requiem as well, didn’t you?

Arashi: Mhm. Those words were from the bottom of my heart, and until now they haven’t changed.

When all’s said and done, I don’t think I’ll be able to relate to The Queen, and it’ll be very difficult to portray her well.

However, if I rejected this offer, it’s likely that I’ll face difficulties finding jobs in the acting industry later on… That’s why I’m still dragging my feet on making a decision.

Ufufu, this “Truth Potion” is really amazing. I do feel lighter now that I’ve said whatever’s weighing on my mind.

Ritsu: …………

#enstars translation #fairy tales in a dream #sakuma ritsu #shino hajime #narukami arashi

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link4eva · 3 years

Text

Kiro’s Seeking Date Translation [CN]

Hey, everyone! Just a couple of things before you begin reading. I don’t actually know any Chinese so this translation was done through the power of Google Translate. A HUGE shout-out to @keliosyfan and @cheesy09 for helping me with edits and revising. Thank you!!! 💛

Here’s a link to the date video uploaded by @keliosyfan that you can follow along with.

Also, here’s a link to the call that comes before the date.

*TW: I feel like I should note that this date has mentions of human trafficking.*

This translation contains spoilers for a date that has not yet been released to the ENG server. If you wish to not be spoiled, please don’t look below the cut.

Hope you enjoy~ 💛

*Spoilers for future content below!*

[First Part]

??: What are you doing kidnapping her, idiot?!

??: She has been with Helios for so many years, she must be his most important woman.

??: With this woman, we can make him write off his debts and also crush his spirit as a gift to those foreigners.

In the dimness, two male voices drifted into my ears.

My hands were tied behind me, and the rope bore through the cloth on my body. The rough and wet touch made me very uncomfortable.

??: If he really cared about this woman, would he always keep her by his side? Tell everyone that she is his weakness?

??: This woman is a target he bought four years ago to get rid of trash and see who in the city found him unpleasant!

Although I was very certain that these people were telling the truth, after hearing those words, my heart still couldn’t help but ache.

??: This is the end of the matter. This woman can’t stay.

??: Sooner or later, that beast Helios will know what you have done. He would never let us get away with it. *Changed some wording*

??: This person has just been taken away, and Helios won’t be so fast.

The icy sound of a knife unsheathing made me clench my teeth. My whole body shook.

The hemp rope had been cut with the blade hidden in my sleeve, and I waited for the opportunity as it gradually approached.

Even though I closed my eyes, I could always see that person’s face and a pair of indifferent blue eyes.

If I died, would he be sad?

??: Hope... is the most precious thing in this world.

??: Do you want to go with me?

I can’t die yet.

But just before I acted, someone ended up being faster than me.

With a “shink”, it seemed that a sharp weapon pierced the glass and embedded itself into the wooden board. The sudden noise made my heart constrict.

??: Don’t open your eyes.

After an extremely cold and commanding voice sounded, there were shrill screams. In the continuous plethora of sounds, there was the harsh sound of bones being twisted.

I closed my eyes and curled up tightly, worried that this was just a dream.

Until I was hugged in a strong and warm embrace, with the fragrance of smokey tobacco wrapping around me.

I opened my eyes blankly and caught sight of the silver hair that was eye-catching and dazzling in the gloomy thatched house.

Those blue eyes, which were normally calm, were now mixed with a little anger.

MC: ...Am I dreaming?

Helios: Do you often dream of me?

The man gave me a look, held me, and walked out the door. It seemed to be the warehouse of a wine shop.

(Cut to outside)

Suddenly his figure stopped, and I lowered my eyes to find that a man was holding onto his trousers tightly.

??: Mr. Helios, boss, please forgive us this time. We will soon have a big deal, and then we will be accommodated….

Helios: Is the restaurant I run like an orphanage?

Helios: Repaying debts is justified.

He turned a deaf ear to the man’s pleading and the whispers from the bystanders. He moved his long legs, and the man fell to the ground.

At the same time, a group of people began to move in and out of the store.

MC: Should I first….

Helios: Don’t move.

His voice sounded impatient. I blinked and didn’t speak anymore.

After the fight was over, Helios raised the corner of his mouth and gave a slight retort to the kneeling man.

Helios: Mr. Cao, you’re welcome to visit Spring Moon Pavillion next time.

??: You foreign devil, don’t lie! Go to hell!

The curse echoed behind us, and the sound of a solid, steady heartbeat fell upon my ears.

Here, people called him many things-- Mr. Helios, the boss, foreign devil.

No one knew his origins. There was a rumour that seemed to say he was of mixed race.

Most of the restaurants, diners and pawn shops in the city were under his name, and there were many other shady places.

Countless people ate his meals, and countless people enjoyed his turf. They were his business partners, his subordinates, and his debtors.

He was the unspoken ruler of this city.

Everyone here respected him and feared him.

MC: Are you hurt?

I felt the person stepping forward seem to pause, but it was only momentarily.

Helios: No.

I leaned into that somewhat cold embrace, and in my sorrow, it seemed to overlap with the heavy snow from four years ago.

[Second Part]

(Flashback)

I stretched my arms strenuously, trying to grab the flying photograph.

The man behind me tightened the chain on the back of my neck, leaving only the muddy photo in my blurred vision, which ended up crushed with shoe prints on the ground.

Like unforeseen freedom, it broke free, but also decayed. Like my freedom, slowly slipping away with each step.

The world was covered with a film and the insults behind me were drowned out, and only cold white noise remained.

Suddenly, a pair of delicate leather shoes stopped next to the photo, and someone picked it up in the next second.

I blinked slowly, and found an eye-catching and sharp silver light under the extremely gloomy sky.

It was like the first speck of snow that one would find stunning in the late winter, burning straight into people’s eyes, beautiful and cold.

The boy looked around the same age as me, and a pair of azure blue eyes met my own.

The biting cold caused my reaction to delay and another pair of distant and similar pupils appeared before my eyes.

But they were warmer and brighter.

??: Snap out of it!

When my consciousness was pulled back to reality by the pain, I heard screams that did not belong to me. The force that restrained me suddenly disappeared, and I fell directly to the ground.

I reluctantly raised my eyes and found that the silver-haired boy had come over at some point, twisting the man’s wrist with one hand. His gaze shifted from the photo in his hand to me.

??: Did you stay in the orphanage in the east of the city as a child?

I looked at him dumbfoundedly and lost my voice for a moment.

??: Answer me.

MC: [flustered] ….Ye-yes! I stayed there for a year.

The boy’s eyes seemed to light up for a moment because of my answer, and then became alienated in the blink of an eye.

He threw the man aside, lowered his eyes and wiped off the mud from the photo with his white sleeves, then squatted down and handed it to me.

??: I’ll only ask once.

??: Come with me?

I stared at him in a daze, and the roaring from the outside world came to an abrupt end. Only the voice of the boy in front of me and my own heartbeat could be heard.

MC: Ok.

As soon as I spoke, the boy threw a few silver bills at the man.

The heavy snow fell silently, and I was taken into his arms, like a fragmented snowflake.

The blood, water and frost all mixed together, and I heard his voice in the dizziness.

??: Starting today, you are mine.

??: My name is Helios.

??: But I don’t like this name, so don’t call me that.

MC: My name is MC….Then um….what should I call you?

His attitude left me a little perplexed.

Helios: If you have something to say, I will acknowledge it.

Helios: Is that photo important?

In the heavy snow on the quiet road, I lifted my head laboriously, trying to muster a smile.

MC: [smiling affectionately] Very important. He was my best friend in the orphanage and a big star in the city.

MC: Everyone loved to hear him sing. He never cared about who his audience was; he shined nonetheless.

MC: It’s just… He went abroad six months ago, so he must be an even better person now.

The boy’s footsteps froze for a moment as if his feet were bound in ice and snow.

Helios: He’s just an actor.

Helios: A useless profession.

MC: But….it was his smile that gave me strength.

Without him, I would not have been able to hold on till the day I met you.

(End of flashback)

I opened my eyes and turned my head to see Helios sitting on the sofa, casually reading the newspaper. As usual, he should be in the restaurant at this time.

Looking at his profile, the dream I had just now made me a little confused.

It turned out that I had stayed by his side for so long.

He took me back to the small restaurant, healed my injuries and taught me all kinds of things.

Literacy, singing, dancing, medical skills, business….

He was the most ruthless and sharp blade. I had witnessed how he, with his own power, had expanded this small restaurant to its current size in just a few years.

Helios: Get up and eat if you’re awake.

The sudden words interrupted my thoughts. Helios didn’t look up as he slowly took a sip of tea from his teacup. Seeing him frown, I immediately got up from the bed.

The food had been arranged on the wooden table, the temperature just right; neither too hot nor too cold--

Obviously, the people who prepared this had carefully taken time into consideration.

I looked at the man sitting aside from the sidelines and saw the teacup he put aside. I was a little puzzled.

MC: Is that pot of tea not brewed?

Helios: It’s poisoned.

Helios: Tastes terrible.

I almost choked on the spring rolls in my mouth and sighed inwardly at his calm demeanour.

I went up to the cabinet, skillfully took out the bottle of medicine and poured out a pill. I walked up to him and handed it over.

Helios: I won’t die.

After hearing the expected answer, I picked up the pill and brought it to his mouth.

He didn’t open his mouth but stared at me coldly.

MC: You don’t need to stare at me. I’m not afraid of you.

With that said, I continued to pry open his mouth with the pill.

Probably moved by my fearlessness, his mouth finally opened slowly and swallowed the pill.

I smiled with satisfaction and when I turned around to continue enjoying my spring rolls, a pair of cool palms swept over my waist.

The incense stick burned quietly, and a small sigh and familiar body temperature covered me closely from behind.

Helios: Don’t you blame me for using you as bait?

He closed his eyes. His long eyelashes were covered with sunlight and his brows were furrowed.

MC: You taught me that there is no meaningless business in this world.

MC: You bought me. My life is yours.

Helios: That’s the spirit.

The person behind slowly opened his eyes, his pupils full of jest and scrutiny.

MC: Today I just wanted to go to the temple to ask for a peace charm like in previous years.

MC: I was going to go there by myself, but I didn’t want to cause you trouble.

He probably didn’t believe me. Even so, I explained it word by word.

A cool finger stroked my neck and entangled a few strands of my hair.

Helios: How many years have you been with me?

His sudden question had me stunned for a moment.

MC: ….Three years and two hundred and seventy-five days.

Helios: It’s three years and two hundred and seventy-six days.*

*This is a little Easter egg that @keliosyfan spotted. “When Helios asked MC how long she has been with him, she says "3 years, 275 days" but he corrects her saying "3 years, 276 days". If you put the numbers together you get 3276 which in CN numeric slang means "love Qiluo(Kiro) for life" or "生爱棋洛"So in a way, he wants MC to say "I love Kiro for life"(3276/生爱棋洛). 🥺😭🤧”

Although his voice was faint, it was conclusive.

I thought about it and didn’t argue with him. For me, there was no difference between one more day and one less day.

Helios: Want to leave?

MC: ….?

He laughed suddenly, but only slightly mocking this time.

Helios: I can teach you enough to live a better life.

After that, he stood up. The sudden drop in temperature made me feel a little cold in this midsummer weather.

Helios: Since you want to leave, I won’t stop you.

Helios: But leave before the seventh day of July.

[Third Part]

Helios left after saying this, leaving me alone in the room in a daze.

Compared to his sudden expulsion, I was more concerned about another thing.

The seventh day of July.

What was going to happen on that day?

The annexed restaurants, and suppressed merchants….I know what Helios has been doing for several years.

Would my existence cause him any trouble?

I looked at my bare wrists and couldn’t help laughing at myself.

Maybe I was locked in place by a pair of invisible shackles.

I pursed my lips and walked to the closet to take out the bag hidden in its depths. Perhaps it was just my illusion, but it seemed to have been turned over by someone.

(Outside of room)

Outside the dark room, late at night, I tiptoed over with my bag. There were faint sounds of firm punching and kicking coming from inside the room.

Helios stayed alone here every night, not letting anyone come close.

But this was my hidden secret, and I could secretly monopolize Helios at this moment.

As usual, I opened the window a crack.

In the room, Helios was half-naked, and the small old silver locket hung with silver bells, reflecting sharp lines of bright silver light in the cold moonlight.

His movements were swift and fierce, harder than usual as if he was venting out something.

His wet hair was weighed down, and sweat dripped slowly from his lower jaw and down his strong and undulating chest.

He stood at the junction of light and shadow, with most of his face hidden in the darkness.

The sound of cicadas in midsummer made people feel a little restless, and the silver locket on his chest heaved slightly as he panted hard.

Helios stood there and didn’t move. I don’t know what he was waiting for. *The music from the first Valentine’s Day event starts playing so it’s getting steamy 😏*

In the next second, those blue eyes passed through the window and were firmly locked on me.

MC: ….!

I instantly withdrew my head and squatted down.

Helios: ….Come in.

Helios: I’ll only say it once. *Don’t need to tell me twice!! 😩😩 *

Hearing the slightly stiff tone, I stood up, lowered my head, and pushed the door open. I only took a single step in and then stopped.

Helios: I don’t see you this compliant on weekdays.

MC: ….You knew?! Then why did you never let me go before….

Helios: For my own pleasure.

I suddenly raised my head and found that he had positioned himself right in front of me. His scorching body temperature seemed to be able to cross the distance between us and set me on fire.

MC: I-I didn’t come here today to take a peek, I just….

He lowered his eyes and his gaze flicked across the bag I was holding behind me. His smile melted into a bit of a smirk.

Helios: If you’re saying goodbye, you don’t...

MC: I want you to teach me some martial arts.

I held my breath and did not miss the momentary surprise that flashed through his eyes.

MC: What you taught me isn’t enough.

Helios looked at me condescendingly, his eyes dim. A breeze flitted past my ear as his hand smacked against the door frame behind me.

Helios: Not enough?

In this tense atmosphere, I tried my best not to avoid his gaze.

MC: You taught me a lot, but….it felt like things had become even serious today.

MC: So I…. I still need you.

Before I finished speaking, Helios suddenly grabbed my left wrist from the outside and at the same time stretched out his leg to hook behind me.

When I lost my balance, his left hand instantly reached out to support my waist, and his right hand came out from under my arm and clasped my wrist from the front again.

When I came back to my senses, I found that I had been directly pinned to the floor, and the bag in my hands had been tossed aside.

The entire movement was executed clean and smooth, and there was only the faint sound of the silver bell on the old silver locket swaying in the silent air.

Helios: There are many people who need me in this city.

Helios: I can teach you. Want to learn?

He lowered his head slightly, and the old silver locket grazed my chest, which made me take in a sharp inhale. My entire heart and lungs seemed to be occupied by his breath.

I tried to lift up my wrists and lower limbs, but it wasn’t enough to shake off the person above me.

MC: In this bag is the money that I have saved over the past few years. The money you bought me for back then, plus four years’ worth of interest, will be given to you.

Helios: I’m not short on cash.

MC: If you accept the money, I won’t owe you anything, but I will still help you.

I tremblingly stroked the old silver locket on his chest. It carried his body temperature and made my fingertips hot.

It coincided with the seventh day of the seventh month of the first year we met. For the first time, I heard someone cursing him and wanting him to die.

I had cried and went to the temple to ask for a peace charm and an old silver locket. When I got home, I gave them to him together.

I knew that many people in this city hated him, but I wanted him to be safe.

He had just smiled sarcastically at the time, and I threw it away when he turned around. Who knew that I’d see it dangling on his chest here that night.

The silver bells chimed, just like my unstoppable heartbeat.

MC: You still wear this old silver locket.

Helios: I forgot to remove it.

His hot breath fanned my face, entangling with my own breath in the scorching air.

My fingers followed the silver chain of the old silver locket and stroked his chest. I could clearly feel his taut muscles under my fingertips.

MC: There are many orphans like me in the restaurant.

MC: Those merchants who were suppressed by you could always open new shops.

MC: Underground, the losers will always be the bureaucrats who usually bully others and gain funds out of ill will.

MC: I don’t know why you want to be a bad person in the eyes of the city, but what I see is different from others.

Helios: Ridiculous.

MC: This is what you taught me.

Looking at my smile, he snorted coldly, but the moonlight sneaking in illuminated the faint smile in his eyes.

Helios: You just said it wrong.

He glanced at my bag and lowered his body even further.

Helios: Don’t owe me anything?

Helios: The three years and two hundred and seventy-six days with me were enough for you to repay me?

MC: [confused] You didn’t even see how much there is inside….

Helios: I’ve seen it.

He pulled slightly hard, making me stand up instantly.

Helios: You owe me too much.

Helios: I’ll ask you to settle the tab later.

Helios: However, you do need to learn some self-defence skills.

Unlike his usual touch, his fingertips caressed my eyes, ears, nose and neck.

Helios: People have many weaknesses.

Helios: Eyes, ears, throat, heart…. *The way he said this sent shivers down my spine 😳🥵*

As he whispered, his fingertips kept moving downwards, making me nervously hold onto that hand.

Helios: [more sexy whispering] What’s the matter? Don’t you want to learn?

Helios: I gave you the chance to leave.

Helios: But you refused.

[Fourth Part]

Helios implemented his teaching method, “diligently” teaching from the most basic style, which made me extremely embarrassed.

MC: [flustered] ….Can you put on some clothes next time? *MC, no!! What are you even asking?! You enjoy it and you know it! 🥵

Helios: I can wear what I like.

Seeing the obvious teasing in his eyes, I ran away completely.

Finally, I asked him about what would happen on the seventh day of July, and his expression became a little solemn under the clear moonlight.

Gradually, I became even more sure that this was related to what he had done for so many years.

(Cut to store)

In the early morning of the seventh day of the seventh month of the lunar calendar, a few foreigners in suits and arrogant expressions came to the store.

These people seemed to be a little unkind, and my heart felt uneasy.

Waiter: Miss MC, a guest of the boss, made a reservation at Spring Moon Pavillion.

MC: Let me take care of it.

With a smile, I went to the foreigners and led them to the booth. I didn’t expect that Helios would already be waiting there.

The moment he saw me, his brows lightly furrowed and he tilted his head slightly.

“Leave.”

I blinked and instantly understood what he meant. After the foreigners walked into the booth, they positioned themselves again at the door.

MC: Boss, your guests are here.

After that, I took a step back and then ridicule suddenly rang out.

??: Leaving already?

Unexpectedly, a foreigner walked over, grabbed my wrist and dragged me directly into the booth.

??: Helios, you must have misunderstood.

??: What is the meaning of a group of men when talking about business?

The foreigner smiled sarcastically. I restrained the urge to shoot and looked at Helios cautiously.

In the next second, an invisible cold front flew past my face, grazing the wrist of the foreigner and leaving behind a small, bloody wound.

No one knew when he fired the shot, and Helios was still leaning on the sofa, lazily looking at the wailing foreigner. He made no effort to hide his coldness and murderous intent.

Helios: Next time, it’ll be your head.

Helios: Come here.

I stood cautiously behind Helios, and saw a man in a white suit standing up with a feigned smile.

Foreigner: Just kidding. Don’t get upset, Helios.

Helios: Is that what you learned by spying on me every day?

My heart sank and I tried my best to calm my nerves.

Have these people been spying on him?

Foreigner: Don’t say that, we just need to confirm whether you are worthy of our cooperation.

Foreigner: After all, with this kind of business, ordinary people are not eligible to participate.

Foreigner: But….we also have to look at the sincerity of the boss.

His eyes moved from Helios to me with an arrogant smile.

Foreigner: I heard that you have a well-trained girl who is clever and easy to use. I wonder if you are willing to share?

I was shocked and couldn’t move. I waited quietly for Helios’ answer.

Helios: I can.

The cicadas kept humming noisily, and for an instant, I seemed to be back to that moment from four years ago, when there was only haziness left in this world.

But I just blinked and walked respectfully from the back of the sofa to the foreigners.

It sounded like a serious matter. Maybe he wanted me to be an undercover agent for these foreigners?

Or maybe he just changed his mind again and didn’t need me anymore.

My vision became a little blurred.

Helios: Did you really think I would say that?

Helios’ arms encircled me from behind. His familiar breath came over me, and his voice was filled with pure mockery.

Foreigner: Helios, what do you mean?

Helios: Your nonsense... will anyone still want it?

The foreigner was stunned as if he didn’t expect him to say that. But in the next second, his expression became fierce again.

Foreigner: So it was you who brought those people…!

In the horrified eyes of those foreigners, Helios’ smile became even more ruthless.

Helios: I’ve been tired of looking at the faces of you idiots for a long time now.

Helios: I asked you to come today to settle the account.

At Helios’ signal, I slowly withdrew from the booth.

(Cut to lobby)

I didn’t know what would happen to them next, but maybe something would briefly end today.

I returned to the lobby and asked for the guestbook from the front desk. I wanted to distract myself but there was one face that was stuck in my mind.

Helios won’t get hurt, right?

Helios: ….MC.

Did I trouble him again just now?

Helios: MC.

An impatient sigh sounded in my ears and I felt my figure tilt, and in the next moment, I was trapped in someone’s arms.

Helios: Didn’t you hear me calling you?

MC: Helios….!

Helios: I should’ve said that only you can’t call me by that name.

In this lighted corner, the ambiguous gazes of the other guests in the lobby wandered over to us.

MC: Did you just call me? Wait… Has your matter been resolved?

MC: And let me go first. Th-there are other guests here.

Helios: This is my restaurant.

His fingertips rested on the guestbook, and a faint chilly scent emanated from him.

Helios: Did you really think I would give you to those people just now?

MC: ….

He narrowed his eyes, his voice carrying with it some faint, dangerous warning.

MC: …. I didn’t.

Helios: You’re a terrible liar.

Helios: Why did you walk over?

MC: Because I believe in you. I know you have your reasons.

I couldn’t help holding onto his drooping lapels. At this moment, Helios seemed to reveal all those sharp edges and corners of his heart.

There were only some unfamiliar ones left, which belonged to the insecurities of youth.

Helios: Ridiculous.

As he said this, he pulled me up and walked into the depths of the lobby.

MC: ….Sorry.

Helios: I’m talking about myself.

I looked up in surprise and saw his slightly ironic expression.

Helios: They have a large munitions factory behind them.

His voice was indifferent, but what he said was like a time bomb, going off in my brain.

MC: Munitions factory?!

Helios: Those foreigners have been smuggling arms into the city.

Helios: I couldn’t find the buyers and sellers, but there was always a steady stream of arms that kept coming into the city.

Hearing this, I felt cold sweat ooze from my back.

I knew what the meaning was behind all of this.

I remembered the unfinished words under the hideous faces of those foreigners just now.

Helios had found those people now.

MC: Why…. are you telling me this?

Helios: Because I want to.

In the midst of my wildly racing heartbeat, his words were sure and firm, as if something seemed to be coming to light.

MC: The merchants and bureaucrats that you suppressed were all related to this, right?

Helios’ silence secretly confirmed my suspicions, and my heart couldn’t help but race.

He always carried all the dangers by himself; walking alone in silence.

Why not ask other people for help?

Just as I was about to ask, I immediately thought of the answer.

With the continuous delivery of arms, both buyers and sellers were in the dark, and easy actions against them would only be a surprise.

Did he destroy those arms?

Helios: Strength and weapons are necessary.

Helios: Those who really need it will use them to protect important things.

He said this matter of factly with determined eyes as if understanding what I was thinking in my heart.

We walked through the corridor of the hotel and came to the street from the side door.

The dusk was heavy, the red lanterns softly brightening the sights of the entire street, and it was full of liveliness.

The girls blushed as they cuddled up with their partners under the lights and the crescent silver moon.

Such a quiet night made my nose itch.

MC: If those goods were sold to the original sellers.

MC: What would tonight have been like?

I turned my face to look at Helios by my side. The warm yellow lights shone on the side of his stern face. He didn’t say a word, probably accepting something reluctantly.

MC: What you said about this world… What do you think it will look like in the future?

Helios: There is only brief peace at the moment.

Helios: But suffering will bloom into a flower. (Sidenote: what he means to say is "no pain, no gain." It's one of Kiro's character themes :>)

He raised his head slightly, and the cold moonlight reflected in his blue eyes, like the sea under the moon.

Silent and immense, as if it could contain everything.

Seeing him like this reminded me of those distant eyes.

In a ghostly manner, I took out the crumpled old photo from my purse and held it beside his face.

Helios: Why do you carry this person’s picture with you everywhere?

MC: [smiling affectionately] Because he is special to me.

Helios: And yet you still follow me?

MC: This is different.

Looking at his teasing smile, I snorted at him and looked at the boy in the photo with a warm smile.

MC: You said that when technology advances in the future, this photo will definitely become the colour in my memory.

Under the blue sky, the blond boy was like a passionate golden sun under the eyes of the crowd.

He smiled and seemed to be able to become a source of invincible courage.

He could gather endless amounts of enthusiasm as long as he stood there.

His voice turned into notes and tunes, dancing along with the wind, driving some of the darkness away.

In this devastated generation, he was like a burning flame.

Kiro: I’m Kiro.

Kiro: Thank you for listening to my song.

Helios looked at the yellowed black and white photo, looking a bit dazed for a while, and a little lonely.

Helios: No one in this city remembers him anymore.

MC: I still remember.

MC: Even if the whole world doesn’t, I will remember him.

In those turbulent years, I had always remembered the embers left behind by that meteor.

Once, there was a young man named Kiro who helped me through countless dark and dull times with a smile.

Until the day I met Helios. I gained the strength to live again from this person.

MC: I think you are very similar.

MC: Although your methods are different, you are both using your own strength to illuminate and empower others.

Helios’ pupils contracted unconsciously, and became deeper with my words.

The slowly rising paper lanterns glowed with a gentle light, quietly surrounding us, like a tender embrace.

Helios: You haven’t asked for this year’s peace charm.

Hearing what he said, I suddenly remembered that because of the previous kidnapping, I couldn’t find a peace charm.

MC: Seeing your attitude before, I thought that there was something that was making you anxious, so I kept following you.

Helios: What attitude?

MC: You said I should leave before the seventh day of July. I asked you about it later, but you didn’t say anything. Wasn’t it about that serious matter?

Hearing my question, Helios froze for a moment and then turned his face to the side, his earlobes slowly turning red.

MC: Was that not what it meant?

Helios: ….

He pursed his mouth and the lights shone behind him like a splendid landscape painting.

Helios: Because “weakness” really does become a weakness.

MC: Huh?

Helios: You are the only person here who wants me to be safe and live a long life.

Helios: I was reluctant to wait until the Qixi Festival this year.

Helios: Although, I don’t understand why you would want to wish for peace during the Qixi Festival.

My heart was beating fast, and seeing Helios’ face turned to the side, I found his eyes to be brighter than the stars.

MC: [blushing] Because, because I just happened to run into you at that time. *Changed some wording*

MC: And if it’s the New Year, the wishes would all pile up on top of each other, and God won’t be able to hear them.

MC: During the Qixi Festival, maybe God is used to hearing the wishes for marriage, so he can hear my request for peace without needing it to unheard.

Helios: Then today, in addition to asking for peace, you can also wish for marriage.

Helios smiled slightly with some clarity and sincerity.

MC: ….In that case, a name is needed.

MC: But you never let me call you by this name.

I held my breath nervously and saw his face slowly leaning towards me. I didn’t mind the attention around me, and his breath slowly entangled with mine.

Helios: Let me see.

His protracted tone was a bit tempting and bewitching as if it had lost a thick shell; more naked and intimate than usual, and finally landed on my lips.

Helios: Ki-Ro.

Helios: Please use that name.

End

You can find the call that comes after this date here!

#mlqc #mlqc spoilers #mr love #mr love game #mr love queens choice #mr love dream date #mldd #mr love kiro #mldd kiro #mlqc kiro #周棋洛 #date translation #LOVED THIS DATE!!#a whole symphony of Kiro flavours #I especially liked the unexpected spice

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 3 years

Note

i saw your post about Charles and what his personality past and part in the story line so i was wondering if u could do the same for vlad? :)

Ah, well, I can at least let you know what I’ve seen so far? I haven’t delved too far into Vlad, and some of his general impressions can be confusing, so I’ll do my best to make it sensible and unbiased! Here you go lovely <33333

Fair warning, there will be mentions of a lot of JPN app content since Vlad and his boys aren’t around much in the ENG app yet.

My general sense of Vlad is basically discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha.

What I mean by this is to say–according to what I’ve read so far–his clan/family were murdered by vampire hunters in cold blood when he was just a young boy. Presumably as a result of that traumatic event, he harbors a sizable enmity towards humanity and kind of lashes out on them in weirdly specific moments of violence. Another aspect of his motivation is something that’s mentioned within Comte’s route; which is that Vlad went through the timespace door on his own one day and allegedly saw a devastated future, where nothing remains of life on earth more or less.

I guess the reason I find him to be so perplexing is that he speaks about his actions in terms of efficiency, while most of the things he does just feel like unhappy outbursts (v often a product of unresolved trauma symptoms, I’d wager.) I also say this because he appears to have no larger pattern to his fury beyond the original event of his loss. Most of the human beings he attacks aren’t much of a threat to him and hurting them really doesn’t bring him any dividends beyond revenge.

For instance, he insists his disdain for humanity and insistence on controlling them is for the sake of ensuring they do not destroy the future–the horrifying wasteland he witnessed when he traveled through the timespace door. However, I’m not really sure how his current movements really speak to that goal? I mean sure, maybe he’s relying on Faust to create an immortal human so that humans will be forced to care because it will be their future too, but he doesn’t allow Faust to draw his pureblood blood for experimenting. (One can most certainly argue this was more about a lack of trust, and perhaps for plenty reason: Faust is vindictive enough to try to turn the tables and exert control over Vlad, or act on his own whims with his findings.) But if that’s the solution he’s waiting on, turning the rivals of the men in the mansion doesn’t really bring him any closer to that vision either? I mean, what good does it do to bring back Gilles de Rais–a prominent French serial killer? How would unleashing him on the populace help humanity “realize the error of it’s short-sighted and wasteful ways” and move to a brighter future?

Can’t help it, I ask these questions as I read.

In Comte’s main story, Comte hammers home that Vlad is not somebody to be taken lightly. One day when MC goes out to buy flowers, Vlad poses as a human florist to sell them to her–which is how Comte finds out he’s in France, and that he’s made contact with MC. When prompted, Comte describes him in a very particular way; and I think people really overlook this when they talk about their relationship. He says that Vlad is frighteningly pure in terms of the way he thinks and acts. The way I understood his description (given what I’ve seen of Vlad) is that Comte really does mean it point blank: Vlad is very simple in terms of why and how he does things. The issue with this is that nuance and context are lost on Vlad as well–and that’s where the problems start to flood in. Vlad is angry at humanity for what they’ve done to him. Baseline? That’s fair, they killed his damn family. However, Vlad thinks that by extension he has the right to decimate the general public and attack people completely uninvolved in his hurt.

And that isn’t right either–it’s ignoring so many factors here. He’s ignoring how much vampires use and toy with humans as pawns, it’s ignoring the massive power imbalance between him and his victims (this really isn’t a case of self-defense most of the time, nobody but Comte/Leo is a sizable threat to him), and he’s ignoring whether or not a person even did anything to deserve his retributive violence. While murder is never okay, it is perhaps more understandable when we see Jeanne’s frenzied and violent belligerence in response to a man who murders a boy’s mother for the sake of his own amusement/convenience. Vlad literally sees almost every single one of the rivals he created begin to heal/improve and murders them in cold blood because they are no longer of any use to him. That’s uh……..that’s a little messed, not gonna lie to you chief.

While part of me understands the efficiency here–he doesn’t want to leave any traces of his involvement, he doesn’t want any loose ends–it’s also just kind of foolish and cruel ultimately. From my understanding of the narrative, all the people he turned had some visible sign that indicated their origin to Comte. So even if he claims it was for the sake of concealment, it was more likely about his personal convenience. Which…..also yikes.

[Comte clearly does not trust Vlad to be reasonable, and I think there’s plenty of good reason enumerated above, but I actually don’t sense quite so much hatred? I think he’s just given up on the idea of Vlad growing up, even if he doesn’t like giving up on people. And considering Vlad’s behavior, I think it’s overkill to say that Comte just abandons him because he doesn’t care lmao. Even when Comte expresses real anger at the end of his own route, it was more because Vlad was fine with endangering MC’s life just to get back at him. I think Comte’s unhappiness with Vlad has more to do with Vlad’s treatment of human life as meaningless and worthless. It’s fascinating but also kind of sad? Vlad’s traumatic experience results in behavior that is a direct exacerbation of Comte’s trauma, and as such--no matter their potentially fond history--they can’t stomach each other.]

In Comte’s route, Vlad also has Shakespeare abduct MC and take her to the cathedral. Later on in the castle, we see an immediate display of Vlad’s shocking powers: he has the ability to manipulate people’s desires/thoughts. I’m not exactly sure how this works, but he is able to give MC visions of the mansion and Comte coming on to her–which shocks her into realizing it’s all just a dream. It’s not reality; it’s all manufactured by Vlad.

After that...weird introductory note...Vlad gives MC the rundown on his life together with Comte, which as always is subject to a question of bias. My assumption is that he did not lie, only because he was trying to convince MC that he was “right.” Furthermore, he does not omit the most damning evidence of his erroneous judgement, which suggests a continued inability for him to see where he went wrong.

We get a series of three flashbacks. The first is them as young kids. I don’t know if Vlad had already experienced the horrors of his family being destroyed, but this particular flashback focuses on Comte. His parents, in an effort to teach him that vampires and humans have no ability to co-exist, send away all of his teachers/mentors/nannies/the servants--pretty much everyone and anyone he was closely bonded to. Think about it this way: we can see that Comte is very sociable and affectionate by nature. He was living in a house full of people, all of whom cared about him and looked after him in their own way. Now the house is entirely empty. Naturally Comte is very very upset, and Vlad appears to try to cheer him up with little success.

[When I look back on this scene I don’t think I initially registered the sheer dissonance of Vlad’s reaction, versus Comte’s catatonic misery. There was a very solemn feeling to that memory, and the correct choice in terms of extending comfort is to hold his hand believe it or not. There is a sense that he feels very alone. When young boy Vlad enters one can argue that it was the proper thing to do; he was trying to cheer up his playmate and friend. But at the same time, I think I need to double check. Because I’m beginning to wonder if I was wrong. What if Vlad was happy to see someone as alone as him, and that joy is accordingly dissonant for that reason? He can’t see what Comte needs or how he’s hurting because he’s so glad he isn’t alone anymore in a way.]

The second flashback is the war nurse scene that I have spoken at length about. The important thing to focus on here is Vlad’s surprise that Comte would opt out of turning her out of respect for her wishes. The way Vlad frames the situation is starkly different from Comte’s. Comte sees himself as an outsider, somebody who invaded her life as a result of the timespace door and therefore has no right to suddenly change the course of her fate. He had no idea if she even wanted to live (considering the horrors she’d have to cope with and remember) or leave that time period at all, for that matter (considering the only thing keeping her going was helping the wounded/victims). Comte really was listening to everything she had to say, and he was taking her concerns and motivations seriously.

Vlad simply says: if you want her, take her. It’s as simple as that for him. And in one way that’s not entirely wrong--assuming Comte would have every intention of looking after her and actually cares a lot about her. But what’s being ignored here is her agency and the fact that they really don’t know each other that well? Something like that could begin and be rocky, if it doesn’t end in complete disaster. Worse, I get the feeling Vlad is perfectly fine with the notion of turning her and if things don’t work out, just kill her or get rid of her. Again, the simplistic thinking comes into play here: it ultimately comes down to Vlad being self-centered. He’s thinking only in terms of satisfying his needs, he doesn’t seem to have any concept of a larger pair or group feeling. There’s an inability to bend/be flexible for the sake of maintaining a greater harmonious feeling.

[For the record, I don’t think this makes him irredeemable? Only that it makes it very hard to live with him or love him, probably. There’s an inability to live at a joint pace? It’s always answering to what he wants without room for anything else most of the time, which to me is not living and it’s not love ;;;;]

Following their escape back to their own time, Vlad explains how he wants to use the door to turn geniuses and control humanity. He eventually wants to create a surveillance state, which would mean everyone is forced to move with his explicit approval, more or less. (He almost reminds me of Louis XIV, can’t tell if that’s what they were going for.) I have my doubts that his abilities could extend that far, but human history shows us that we are plenty susceptible to fascist and totalitarian rhetoric. In a shocking display of anger, Comte draws the line at controlling humanity and forcing them into a regime in which, and this is Vlad’s description not mine, “we (purebloods) would be like kings.” There’s definitely a concept of evolutionary superiority at play here, which echoes what I mentioned earlier; vampires seem to have this awareness that they’re apex predators in a sense, and enjoy the power that comes with that. Unfortunately, that probably makes for a fairly toxic/uncomfortable larger species culture, which is exactly what Comte and Leo hate lmao.

Vlad does not seem to find any issue with this sort of outlook, and asks MC to decide which of them--Vlad or Comte--is right. Who is more realistic, who best understands the future? As expected the MC replies that it's Comte, and Vlad goes from beseeching to big mad at record speed. He's p much that gif of the teddy bear that smacks its head down on the tables and then has the angry eyebrows.

This is where Comte intervenes, firing a warning shot that grazes Vlad's cheek and demanding he let MC go. In response, Vlad shoves MC into the turbulent timespace door--p much guaranteeing MC's death. (Essentially timespace is a void of sorts, a human being could never survive in that environment for long. Vlad fully knew this, and yeeted her anyway.)

So uh, yeah. Disagreement? Death. Moving on? Death. Nuanced approach to reality? Death. Beginning to think he doesn't really have a lot of patience or open-mindedness or any other kind of problem-solving approach.

He raises flowers and gardens like a fiend, and he openly plucks any single flower with a blemished leaf. Even if a single petal is slightly damaged, it will be removed and destroyed. So one could argue his extremism reflects a kind of perfectionism as well. No room for errors or troublesome dissent. No ugliness of any kind. I mean in all of his interactions with Faust and Charles this is the overt undertone. Don't ask more of me than I'm willing to give. Behave like good children, mommy's busy. Is that insubordination? boss music begins

One thing I actually don't understand very well is his decision making in Dazai's route. Dazai finds out about what Vlad's doing in a nanosecond when he senses MC is in danger, and yet Vlad makes absolutely no move to eliminate Dazai? He just watches from the shadows. Even when Dazai grills Charles about his loyalty to Vlad, no retribution.

My best guess for this specific situation is that Vlad does derive some level of satisfaction thwarting the future of human beings/former humans. Dazai--being somebody with no great desire to live, no rivals to speak of as far as we can tell, and no larger aspirations--is a life that is easily extinguished. There's no satisfaction in it. When Vlad's clan was murdered and he saw the future decimated, it could be that he felt humans had invaded and eradicated every potentiality that was important to him. Where he might have lived happily with his family, that future was ripped from his grasp. Where he might enjoy his flowers and the creation of an immortal for the rest of conceivable time, that too was ripped from his grasp with a desolate future.

So much about who Vlad is is about control, so it's very possible his lashing out is an extension of that. Dazai does not awaken any of the disdain he feels, and he does not succeed in overthrowing Vlad's control over Charles, so Vlad simply lurks in silence.

And last but not least, I've seen the preview to Vlad's newest birthday event story. The contents are incredibly revealing, in that MC wishing him a happy birthday and offering him a gift has him saying that it was "the best birthday ever." Granted idk if that’s sweet or just...beyond sad, but here we are. It’s only compounding my curiosity about the wound on his chest--I really do wonder if he was attacked and locked away by vampire hunters or hostile human beings or something. I say that only because that line speaks to a lot of isolation, and given how little he seems to care about turning people/subjecting them to his whims it feels odd. Why the isolation or lack of people who care about him? Is it a perceived lack where his actions alienated all the people who wanted to be close to him, or is it a more involuntary lack?

When she says let’s celebrate again next year, he seems a pleasantly shocked by the notion, and remarks “Ah yes, it’s a promise c:”. The preview was also mega horny: “You make me feel so loved, I don’t think I can be gentle with you tonight. If you enjoy it so much, then I won’t stop. I want to see you completely lost for me. I’ll teach your body what it means to be loved by a pureblood.” Aaaaaand pretty sure the CG was alluding to him licking the good stuff from her basement, though not entirely sure given it was only the preview.

The brief POV they give us is also very revealing:

“You always keep your promises, and I think I underestimate all the time how much you saved me. You are good, only you are good in this world.”

“Will we continue to make promises to each other in the future? Well in that case--you will always, always be mine, my vampire.”

Tbh he’s...v sweet? In his own way? Honestly he feels like a crabapple that is just so sick of the world and wants softe wife to take comfort in. While granted that’s not really my thing, I know a fanbase appeal exists for these types--so if that’s your thing, have at it!

So now that we have reached the end of my ridiculously long analysis (when am I ever brief, I’m so sorry. If you made it all the way here you deserve a cookie at the very least, if not the right to chase me with a bat) perhaps it’s more clear why I said discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha? “My clan is gone, every other second I’m going to be in retraumatization insanity, when I’m not I’ll be seeking power/hobbies, planning the demise of people who wanted the best for me, building a team to my advantage and unquestioned control, and eventually settling for a lifelong love who sees the best in me despite my more difficult moments and perceived hollowing loneliness. Not the most ideal comparison, but I will say if Vlad was not already named the historical figure, would have pointed and yelled Uchiha.

That’s all from me folks, hopefully this was a fun way to get introduced to him? And again, hope I didn’t alienate--I fully respect what people do and don’t enjoy o7

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp meta #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp faust #ikevamp charles #ikevamp dazai #i hope this was helpful!#i had too much fun writing it jkahlgkjhgdf i love meta #but thank you for submitting <33333 #oh discount vampire sasuke uchiha we really in it now #rambles #not incorrect quotes

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ninbayphua · 3 years

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八三夭《盗墓笔记》官方主题曲《所信非神》 That In Which I Believe In Is Not God - ENG SUBS

So this is the first time I've actually properly translated and subtitled a song 😂 I tried to keep to the original wording as much as I could but there are few places where it's kinda vague or where the wording is just too awkward so I went with meaning or my own interpretation of the lyrics instead. 👀

List of Interpretations

1. 与宿命论个主臣 in a word for word translation would be "debating with Fate who is the master and who is the servant" which basically means they're fighting over superiority.

2. 当自己不死之身 is a really interesting one because 当 has 2 different meanings depending on which intonation is being used and this isn't always clear in songs cuz intonations get kinda murky in singing. Anyways, 'dāng' means to pretend whereas 'dàng' means to pawn. Since I interpreted this song as both from Wu Xie's and Xiao Ge's POV I decided to include both potential interpretation in my subtitling. So it can either mean "pawning my immortality" in Xiao Ge's POV or "pretending I have an immortal body" in Wu Xie's case.

Song Overview (Wu Xie's & Xiao Ge's POV):

Ok I read the song as being from BOTH Wu Xie's and Xiao Ge's POV instead of just one but that's my personal interpretation @thosch3i covered most of Wu Xie's POV and my own interpretation of the lyrics are pretty similar so I'll elaborate from there. This is how the song goes for me:

I give you a look with lost innocence of days past and gone that's tucked away in forgetfulness. (This is without question Wu Xie speaking because of the play on words - Tian Zhen)

Let the sound of raindrops gloss over the unsolved questions, let the sharpest blade be sealed away for safekeeping in this instant when life is at its most peaceful (OK, this could be either Wu Xie or Xiao Ge speaking to the other because both of them have a lot of unsolved questions: Wu Xie still doesn't know what happened to his San Shu and Xiao Ge is still looking for answers to his past. Both Xiao Ge and Wu Xie have been referred to as the sharpest blade of the Nine Gates. In Wu Xie's case, it's when he lost his innocence and became 邪帝 in the Sha Hai era. Xiao Ge was shaped to be a weapon ever since he was a baby stolen from his mother so it goes without saying he is the sharpest blade of the Nine Gates. (There's a saying that Wu Xie ended up becoming like Xiao Ge and Li Cu becoming like Wu Xie during his Tian Zhen era which I think is a pretty accurate reading but a discussion for another time.) Basically, regardless of which of them that's speaking they're telling the other to let go of all the questions tormenting them and sealing away the past and the way they've been conditioned to become a weapon for the Nine Gates and just live peacefully in Rain Village from now on - I'm assuming this is post Sha Hai.

My death, my life, it's not up to the ghosts and gods to intervene (Honestly, this can be either Wu Xie or Xiao Ge depending. Both are very stubborn and don't believe in leaving things up to fate.)

a wait of ten years, I've long since stopped smiling, stopped crying, stopped feeling pain, challenging fate to see who is superior (This could be Xiao Ge but I read it as more Wu Xie because of Qin Hao's line in Sha Hai when Hei Ye said "I still feel a bit of pain from time to time" and Wu Xie just straight up said "I've stopped feeling pain a long time ago".)

Pawning my immortality / Pretending I have an immortal body, to leave for you a gateway of life, this life was not in vain. (This is probably my favourite line of the song because is so freakin beautifully written? The reason there's an either or translation for the line I've explained above so we're just gonna do meta here. OK so in Xiao Ge's POV he went to guard the Bronze Gates in Wu Xie's stead to protect him so he could live a happy life. Essentially he is exchanging his immortality for Wu Xie's life because it was initially Wu Xie's fate to guard the Bronze Gates and he'd probably die in the process. Xiao Ge's immortality for Wu Xie having a life of happiness and innocence is worth it to him. He is using his immortality in exchange for a way for Wu Xie to live by going behind those gates. Remember that line: 用我一生换你十年天真无邪 my life in exchange for ten years of your innocence? That's basically what I think they're referring to. The reversed applies. It's Xiao Ge's responsibility to keep the Wang clan in check. Since Xiao Ge sacrificed himself so Wu Xie could live the life he wanted, Wu Xie decided to do the same for Xiao Ge by getting rid of the Wangs completely so Xiao Ge could be free to live the life he wanted when he exited the gates. Wu Xie wasn't trained like Xiao Ge nor did he have an immortal body like the Zhangs or had their self healing and magical qilin blood but he will pretend that he has all of those and take on the Wangs , wiping them out to give Xiao Ge a way out of being used by the Nine Gates again when he exits the gates, giving him a chance to live the life he wants. Even if he knows he could potentially die doing this, it's still worth it to him. Remember that line after Xiao Ge's: 只愿尽我一世无邪换你百载浅笑无忧 emptying all of my entire life's innocence in exchange for a hundred years of your easy smiles and lack of worries? That's what I think the song is referring to.)

Not even for a day in my entire life have I ever believed in ghosts or gods, but I spent ten years believing in one person. Even if the world is too cold, there is still your lingering warmth in my heart, I'll still rush into the journey, no matter how unfathomable the wasteland or perilous the path, never questioning whether it's fortune or calamity. Honestly, in my entire life, I've never believed in gods, only believed in them. (This can be both Xiao Ge and Wu Xie because the only person Xiao Ge believes in is Wu Xie - and Pang Zi. Vice versa, the only person Wu Xie believes in is Xiao Ge - and Pang Zi. None of them believe in fate or ghosts or gods but they believe in each other and only each other. Wu Xie is Xiao Ge's only connection in the world - thus the lingering warmth in my hear bit - and I'm pretty sure Xiao Ge also holds a special spot in Wu Xie's heart during the Sha Hai era when he becomes a hardened man. We see that flash of Tian Zhen softness when he's talking to Li Cu about Xiao Ge and Pang Zi. He even admits at the time that he has an obsession: to pick up Xiao Ge when he exits the Bronze Gates and take him home. Also, PingXie is constantly rushing head first into danger for one another? Even Pang Zi made a comment on this in Ultimate Note after the sword gifting ceremony that when Xiao Ge lost his memories, Wu Xie accompanies him on his journey and helps him look for his lost memories; when Wu Xie is in danger or gets into trouble in his obsessive search for answers and his San Shu, Xiao Ge comes to his rescue. Even in Reunion, Xiao Ge says he'll follow Wu Xie on his journey to Thunder City in search of answers and his San Shu. Neither of them ever question whether it is fortune or calamity that will befall them on these journeys. They'll go through hell fire and high waters for each other regardless of consequences.)

Exchanging gazes, in it are new sprouts of innocence, all old hatred tossed and tucked away in forgetfulness. (Xiao Ge talking about Wu Xie - post Sha Hai, now that Xiao Ge is back and Wu Xie isn't emo anymore, we see a bit of his Tian Zhen coming back, Xiao Ge can probably see it too. The edges aren't gone but there are now some softness growing back. There are new sprouts of innocence in Wu Xie's eyes again.)

But there are still spirits to drink together, and extra cigarettes enough to share, if there's us and the rest of our lives, then it is the greatest of good dreams. That in which I believe in is not a god. Entrusting my life and soul to you with a smile on the wretched battlefield, even the gods of death themselves must submit under the sword, the world has too many uncertainties, only this is the sole surety. But even the sharpest blade is also mere flesh and blood, I wish to give him affection and to let him rest and recuperate. (This can be either Wu Xie or Xiao Ge referring to their retired life in Rain Village that having just us - the iron triangle - as well as the rest of our lives then it's the best dream come true they could wish for. Also, Wu Xie and Xiao Ge's only belief is in each other but neither sees the other as a god. Wu Xie is unarguably human and Wu Xie sees Xiao Ge as human instead of a weapon or a god so it works both ways. Both Wu Xie and Xiao Ge are considered to be the sharpest blades of the Nine Gates with a tendency to go against fate and death. In Xiao Ge's case even death must bow its head under his sword and abide by his rule whereas in Wu Xie's case he himself is the sword so to speak and that he has defied death so many times as well as planned the death of the Wangs that in a way, death is under his control and has to do this bidding. I think it's also referring to the saying 麒麟一笑，阎王绕道；天真一笑，麒麟开道 when the qilin - a.k.a Xiao Ge - smiles even the lord of the underworld will make a detour to avoid his path; a smile of innocence - when Tian Zhen a.k.a Wu Xie smiles - the qilin clears the way. Not sure if this was in the original books or if it's just a comment made by fans online or by NPSS during interviews but it's pretty legit interpretation in my opinion. PingXie is each other's only constant in a world of uncertainties and they see the other as a human, not a god or weapon/blade to be used for the Nine Gates. I think after Sha Hai when Xiao Ge exits the Bronze Gates both are so wounded and scarred that they want to do is to give the other affection and for them to rest and recuperate from what they've suffered in those 10 years and more.)

Even a lifetime as a god, there can also be a moment, a minute of being an ordinary human. (Wu Xie referring to Xiao Ge that even though he has lived as a god for his entire life, there are still brief moments where he too can be an ordinary human. Xiao Ge is just an ordinary human, just like Wu Xie and Pang Zi.)

Anyways, sorry about the long post but that's about it I think. I'll add on if I ever think about anything in the future. Hope this post was helpful 😂

#盗墓笔记 grave robbers' chronicles #瓶邪 pingxie #张起灵 zhang qi ling #吴邪 wu xie #ninbayphua 墨彦 #song lyrics translation and subtitling #meta

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cheri-translates · 3 years

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[CN] Kiro’s Inspiration Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 灵感之约, which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

An early birthday gift to the embodiment of sunshine, @moondusks :>

[ This date was released in CN on 7 December 2020 ]

A pleasantly warm and light breeze lifts the muslin curtains, bringing with it the fresh atmosphere of early winter.

Lemon yellow sunlight filters lazily through the trees, casting shadows on the window and carrying the scent of peppermint.

It’s an incomparably ordinary, and incomparably comfortable afternoon.

It’s very suitable for heading out and casting aside one’s cares - laying down on a grass patch, basking in the warm sunlight.

Or perhaps taking a stroll along the street, and sitting down in a cafe one has been longing to visit.

That’s what Kiro and I originally planned to do.

However, the cruel reality is...

MC: Why does this proposal have to be done by next week ahhhh--

Kiro: Why can’t I write this song properly--

MC: Why do people need to be exploited by work--

Kiro: [sighs] And why are people constrained by inspiration--

Because of a sudden program, I have no choice but to work overtime.

And Kiro, who is about to record a new album, has remained dissatisfied towards the title track.

Due to the pressures of reality, we have to give up our original plans of having a fulfilling and happy date.

The both of us are working overtime at home.

Kiro: [groans] Farewell, my rosy weekend. Goodbye, my donuts and soup dumplings which have vanished into thin air.

MC: And brown sugar milk coffee, taro pies, and lava cakes...

Even though we sing the same tune, complaining dejectedly about not being able to go out, the both of us work non-stop on our tasks.

I can hear the crisp sound of Kiro tapping his pen rhythmically against the music stand. Occasionally, his soft humming can also be heard.

Seeing him working hard and struggling with himself, the corners of my lips lift upwards.

Even though we’re unable to head outside to do something interesting, it isn’t a bad thing to be together at home like this, channelling effort into our differing goals.

In some way, this should also count as a type of date.

I smile, adjusting my posture on the bean bag so that it’s more comfortable for typing, then continue immersing myself in the battle against the program proposal.

The proposal I’m working on is extremely urgent, and has to be settled by next week.

Not only that, but this sudden program has an importance accompanied by a non-proportional preparation timing.

And during such a period of high stress, the goddess of inspiration, who typically shows concern for me, has gone on a faraway vacation, and has completely vanished.

I have trouble writing. When I completely lose my train of thought, I exchange helpless glances with the few words on the screen.

In the end, I give up and pause the hands which have been maltreating the keyboard, preparing to pour myself a glass of water, and attempt to change my mood.

Lifting my head, I subconsciously glance in Kiro’s direction.

The curtains separate the room from sunlight, casting Kiro in a faint shadow as he leans against the window while composing a song.

Busy writing the new song, he hasn’t had time to maintain the state of his hair.

Finding stray hairs a hindrance as they block his vision, Kiro holds a rubber band in his mouth, combing his hair to the back, and ties it into a small ponytail.

Those azure eyes stare at the music score in concentration. They are as clear and bright as always, but lack the flash of light he usually has when inspiration strikes.

Reference materials and abandoned drafts are scattered all over, which seem to isolate him on a higher platform which I’m unable to reach.

Completely engrossed in creating his work, even his languid sitting posture exudes a cold and lonely feeling for some reason.

For a moment, I feel slightly dazed.

Kiro: Let me guess. Is Miss Chips lacking inspiration, and having trouble writing the proposal?

Kiro suddenly removes his earplugs, turning his head to look at me.

He shows me a brilliant smile, and the room is once again filled with sunlight.

MC: How did you know?

He stands up as well, stretching himself, turning back into the him that I’m most familiar with.

It’s as though the him of just a few seconds ago was simply an illusion surfacing from work-induced stress.

Kiro: Hmm... since just now, the sound of your keyboard has been intermittent, unlike how smooth it usually is.

While he speaks, Kiro walks to the snack cabinet and rifles through it carefully, as though he’s a small squirrel searching for a pine cone from the hole of a tree in winter.

Kiro: So I thought - Miss Chips is probably just like me, entering a bottleneck at work.

He splits the low-fat and sugar-free healthy snack into half, placing it into my hand.

Kiro: A little reward for the hardworking you. Now, do you feel more motivated?

MC: It sounds quite embarrassing... but I don’t think I can work any harder.

I munch on the snack which gives me absolutely no happiness, saying this with a sullen expression.

MC: The presentation is next week, but I still have no idea how to go about writing the proposal. Right now, I just want to turn into an ostrich and curl up into a ball, avoiding the presentation meeting in a few days... and also avoiding my unmotivated self.

I turn the laptop towards him, letting him see the lonely and piteous 235 words in the document.

MC: I even want to knock on my brain forcefully, checking to see if new ideas will appear.

Kiro: Hmm... I see...

Kiro curls his finger, tapping it gently against my forehead. He leans closer to my ear and asks a question.

Kiro: Nice to meet you, Miss Chips’ inspiration. May I know if you’re at home?

Following his action, I close my eyes and sense it carefully.

After a short silence, I furrow my brows and lift my head, looking at him bitterly.

MC: Hello, the user you’re calling is not in service...

Kiro reaches out to rub the area between my eyebrows, smoothening out the creases on my face.

After ensuring that I’m no longer a “bun”, he sighs, laying down next to me.

[Note] Chinese buns (包子 - “bao zi”) look like this i.e. they look like wrinkles:

Kiro: [sighs] Actually, I’m the same as you. There’s a song I especially wish to write, and I really like the concept and composition. I want to try writing a song on understanding and interpreting the theme of “love” from my own perspective.

He pauses, lifting his fringe with a wry smile. After give it a forceful rub, he causes his originally tidy hairstyle to become fuzzy.

Kiro: But no matter how I change it, I’m not satisfied. I keep feeling as though something is missing from the music. There’s no soul.

I untie the string, using a hand to smoothen his hair, helping him tie it up properly again.

MC: Whether it’s “My Treasure” or the song we wrote together last Christmas, aren’t they very incredible? They’re tender and sweet - it’s as though they can be sung into the hearts of every listener, enabling them to recollect the best memories.

Kiro: That won’t do.

Kiro flips over and sits up, his eyes serious.

Kiro: Those songs write about us. They write about you. I have several thousand ways to write about how adorable you are, but I don’t know which timbre I should use to face myself.

Not realising how potent his words are in causing one to blush, Kiro sighs once again after speaking, laying back down.

Kiro: [sighs] Looks like this time, we’ve both chosen subjects which are very difficult for us.

Kiro: Since we’ve both sunk into a major crisis--

Kiro: Want to try Kiro’s special, secret recipe and see if it can sort out our thinking?

Kiro shoots me a wink.

MC: Sure. Do I need to do anything?

Kiro: At this stage, all you have to do is sit here.

While Kiro speaks, he picks up the abandoned drafts he had casually thrown on the floor earlier, using them to enclose us within a square frame.

Kiro: This is the thinking box that we’re trying to escape from.

He sets down the final sheet of paper, completing this “box”, his tone light.

Kiro: Right now, we’re both locked in it.

MC: In that case, will the superhero help me break this box, so we can have a breakthrough together?

Kiro: Nope.

Kiro steps out of the square frame made out of drafts, reaching out to seize Cello, who is sleeping soundly on the cat climbing shelf. Then, he places it in my arms.

Cello: Meow?

Kiro nods in satisfaction, then jogs over to the kitchen, bringing over some fruits.

Under the confused gaze of both me and Cello, he makes several trips in and out, bringing over soft cushions, comfortable blankets, and two cups of sugar-free hot chocolate.

Finally, Kiro shifts another bean bag over, and sits down beside me.

Kiro: I’m incredibly sorry to tell you that even a superhero can’t find a way to jump out of this box.

Somewhat pleased with himself, he takes me into his arms with one hand, letting me lean on him.

Kiro: But at the very least, I can keep you company in this box. And together, we can see what exactly in this box has left us so bewildered that we’re unable to get out even after such a long time.

As he speaks, he tousles Cello’s fuzzy head, and it releases a comfortable meow.

Kiro: We can also decorate it a little, so the box is more comfortable.

MC: Pfft...

I can’t help but laugh. The sense of dejectedness due to work earlier seems to be cleared up with his actions.

I reach out, pointing at a corner of the ceiling in a joking manner.

MC: See that? Over there, there’s an MC who just can’t write a proposal, and she’s currently curled up and for waiting for mushrooms to sprout on her... I don’t know how to deal with it.

Kiro nods in understanding, pointing at a corner of the room.

Kiro: Ladies and gentlemen, look here. Here is a Kiro whose inspiration is stuck, and is currently drawing circles.

MC: When you put it like that, it sounds pretty cute...

While he speaks, I more or less understand why Kiro went to such trouble to do this.

Kiro: That’s right. To me, whether it’s that ostrich-like MC, or that MC who has mushrooms growing on her, I want to hug all of them properly.

Kiro: And then tell her solemnly - that you’re already very amazing. Even if you don’t think you’re good enough, I still like you very much.

Kiro: Just as much as a little bear in winter liking the warm blue sky and green grass.

As he speaks, he tightens his grip on my hand, leaning his chin on top of my head.

Surrounding me are soft blankets and cushions. In my arms is a cat which has gone back to sleep.

Behind me, Kiro’s body temperature and scent encase me tenderly, making me feel so contented that I want to release a joyful sound together with Cello.

I close my eyes in happiness, nuzzling the crook of Kiro’s neck.

The things that were bothering me just a second ago, weighing me down with stress and emotions and leaving me unable to breathe, vanish like smoke and disperse like clouds.

It’s as though I’ve awakened from an incredibly long nightmare, discovering that sunlight is illuminating my surroundings, and that a cup of hot chocolate is waiting at the bedside.

MC: Kiro, why do you always know of such ingenious methods?

I lift my head to look at him, gazing at that blue colour which seeps into one’s heart, and the golden colour traced by sunlight.

Our foreheads lean against each other, and he smiles as he responds.

Kiro: You were the one who taught me these things. Why are you asking me instead?

MC: Me?

Kiro: Last time, there were numerous occasions when I felt I couldn’t create works that were good enough, and I’d start to doubt myself. I’d lock myself in a corner, and start having internal fights with myself.

Along with his words, it’s as though I see the Kiro I was barely acquainted with back then, and how he had endured several days and nights of work.

He had locked himself up in a room, helpless and frantic, not leaving any space for himself to breathe.

Kiro: But during those times, you were always by my side. You told me that no matter how I was, you’d like me all the same.

As he speaks, he taps on my laptop.

Kiro: Actually, it’s the same today.

Kiro: Don’t just look at how I appear now. Actually, I’m in a terrible state.

Kiro: On one hand, I’m forcing myself to finish this work quickly. On the other hand, I’m so irritated and annoyed at myself, who lacks creativity.

Kiro: There were many times when I wanted to just give up.

Kiro: But...

He lifts a strand of my hair, twirling it around his fingertip. In the end, he pulls it to his lips, giving it a gentle kiss.

Kiro: Each time I heard your intermittent yet continuous typing sounds, I’d tell myself that next to me, you’re still working hard.

Kiro: My Miss Chips is also feeling perplexed, but she’s still persevering in work.

Kiro: So I told myself - how could I give up before you did?

Kiro: I must definitely persevere a little longer, so you see how dashing I am.

Kiro relates this softly at my ear. His tone, which harbours a smile, sounds as though he’s depicting a treasure.

I indulge myself in his arms, greedily enjoying the present tranquility and warm atmosphere for a while longer.

I always feel that Kiro is a star whenever I go off course. He always illuminates the pathway, pointing the way forward for me.

Actually, without even realising it, it’s because we’ve seen each others’ light that we could press on.

Encouraging each other, and feeling the way forward in the darkness.

Until we break through the predicament together.

MC: Thank you, my superhero. I think I’ve regained the ability to fight a little more.

A soft chuckle brushes my ear. Then, a warm and gentle touch is planted on my lower jaw.

Reminiscent of the whiskers of a kitten brushing past, spreading into a plain of sweetness.

Kiro: At your service anytime, my Miss Chips.

With that, Kiro and I sit in the “box” together, resuming our work.

He lays on the ground, scribbling and drawing on the music sheet, while I hug the laptop to myself, working hard to squeeze out a proposal.

The typing sounds on the laptop remain intermittent as before, but no longer have the sense of repression and frustration from earlier.

With his presence, I actually manage to complete a draft of the proposal without realising it.

It isn’t excellent, and there are many areas which require editing. Nevertheless, I’ve already tided over the most difficult period.

I move my neck and shoulders, then shift a little closer to Kiro.

Same as before, Kiro is wholly absorbed in the music sheet in his hands.

Even though I can’t tell his current progress, based on his expression and posture, he should be the same as me, breaking free from the lowest point of production.

I observe him quietly for a long time. In the end, my playfulness triumphs, and I think of pulling a tiny prank on him.

Lifting Kiro’s right hand, I burrow into his arms.

MC: Surprise~

Probably not expecting me to do this, Kiro is left dumbfounded. However, he subconsciously props himself up and hugs me.

Kiro: Miss Chips?

MC: A little reward for the hardworking musician.

Saying this, I tilt my head upwards and give him a light peck on the chin.

My sudden attack and the closing of distance between us enables me to successfully capture the faint redness on Kiro’s face.

Kiro: ...mm, how’s your proposal doing?

MC: At the moment, there are positive prospects.

Just like this, I wrap my arms around his neck, tousling his soft, golden coloured hair.

Because of my action, the ponytail is now in disarray.

I simply hook my fingers underneath Kiro’s rubber band, untying it, feeling the softness of his hair in between my fingers.

MC: How’s your song doing?

Kiro: At the moment, there are positive prospects.

He mimics my words, inserting one earplug into my ear.

A somewhat rough demo occupies my hearing.

I close my eyes, immersed in the music he has given to me. My fingers twirl the wire of the earpiece, tracing the rhythm.

Kiro: Although it isn’t done yet, the overall main key won’t change.

It’s a somewhat slow tune.

It's quiet, and even brings with it a heavy and melancholic melody. It’s reminiscent of a self-reflection, and also like a careful recount.

Kiro: Even though this tune is a little sombre, I still wrote it.

Kiro: Because I know you’d definitely say that you like such songs too.

MC: Of course.

I say this with certainty. He smiles and lowers his head, the tips of our noses gently touching.

MC: Kiro, I came across a saying once.

MC: The process of writing a song is actually a writer’s conversation with himself.

MC: Although I don’t know what you said to yourself, if this melody is your answer, I like it very much.

Our drifting breaths channel a temperature slightly higher than the sunlight.

MC: Including these slightly heavy portions - I like them very much.

Saying this, I crinkle my eyes, humming along with the melody from the earpiece.

Kiro releases a sigh, hugging me tightly.

Kiro: [sighs] Why does this song become so sweet when you hum it?

Before I can respond, Kiro continues.

Kiro: [laughs] It must be because MC is a jar of honey.

He nods with force, seeming to be very satisfied with this answer. Then, it’s as though something occurs to him, and he plants a kiss on my forehead.

Kiro: See? It’s very sweet.

MC: What...

I laugh, pretending to push at his chest.

MC: Looks like I have to stay a little further away from you next time, so you won’t become overweight.

Kiro: Hehe, it’s already too late! My feelings come in large portions, so it’s too late to say that.

Kiro presses me against the woollen blanket, embracing me with even more strength than before.

Kiro: Miss Chips has already been firmly held onto by me.

Kiro: I’ll leave a stamp.

While he says this, he nibbles the side of my neck half-jokingly, and half-declaratory.

He doesn’t use strength, but the electric-like sensation makes me forget how to breathe for a moment.

The charmingly tepid air leaves my cheeks burning crimson.

Kiro’s hug is tight, yet very careful. It’s as though he’s embracing the one and only treasure in the entire world.

MC: It’s not like I can really run away...

Not minding my soft mumbling, another kiss descends on the shell of my ear, as though seeking a confirmation.

His breaths lift up strands of stray hair near my ear. They brush against my earlobe, as scorching as his lips.

Kiro: MC, I’m actually timid and a little childish.

Kiro buries his head in my shoulder, speaking softly.

Kiro: When it comes to things I don’t like, I’ll always think of hiding them and locking them up. I won’t see them, and I won’t let other people see them.

Kiro: But if it’s you...

I secretly take a few deep breaths, cradling his face a little stiffly yet carefully, tilting my head upwards.

MC: Thank you for trusting me.

Kiro: ...

Kiro’s eyes widen slightly, and his lips part and close. It’s as though he wants to say something, but returns to a blank.

At the end of a short silence, Kiro speaks solemnly.

Kiro: I’ll definitely finish this song.

He lowers his voice slightly. Even though this sentence is as light as a feather, I know that he’s as serious as making a vow.

Kiro: I’ll definitely finish this song, and sing various versions of myself to you in the future.

Kiro: Even the parts which are heavier, and the parts I’m unwilling to face myself.

MC: Mm. I’ll definitely listen earnestly.

Following the trail of his spine, I stroke his back lightly, giving him my promise.

Kiro: I know.

Kiro: It’s precisely because no matter what melody it is, you’ll definitely sing it into a song akin to honey.

Kiro: Which is why I have such courage.

I no longer speak, only giving him a serious nod.

Both his breathing and heart beats can be heard, regular and steady.

Kiro: Since we’ve reached an agreement, should I leave another stamp?

Kiro’s voice is once again light-hearted, even carrying with it a twinge of slyness.

MC: Wait! The most important thing now should be noting down the hard-earned inspiration before it goes away!

I grip several music sheets at the side, pressing them against his chest, attempting to flee from his arms.

MC: Get to work quickly!

Kiro: Why are you like this?

Kiro pouts, showing me his signature, puppy-eyed expression of dejection.

MC: I won’t be duped by your gaze again. I’m going to become a merciless supervisor, so you can finish your work before the deadline!

Seeing that his plan has been foiled, Kiro simply gives up “pretending”. With a smile, he grips my struggling wrist, pressing it to the side.

MC: Where’s your professionalism? Could it...

A prolonged kiss seals up the words I haven’t spoken.

Kiro: It’s exactly because of my professionalism that I can say with certainty...

Kiro smiles, his sapphire-like eyes radiating an azure colour even more eye-catching than the clear skies of winter.

Perhaps he hasn’t realised it himself, but he looks at me with the most burning and clear gaze, sticking out the tip of his tongue. Like a dragonfly flitting across water, he wets his lower lip.

Kiro: Before my inspiration vanishes, there’s still time to act coquettishly with my favourite Miss Chips.

Phone calls: First // Second

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc kiro

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years

Note

Thank you for your informative posts. You both always do so well. I'd love to hear your thoughts about BTS carsharing. I don't personally agree, but some fans think of it as "absolute proof" that their ship is real or much more closer compared to others.

Admin 1: I’ll go first since, once again, I have less to say about this topic. I’ve been ARMY for years and up until perhaps halfway through 2020 when I noticed shippers using the “driving together” argument as irrefutable proof and holding onto it like their lives depend on it, I never paid any attention at all to which member shared a car with whom. Yes, I do know about that time vmin arrived at the airport together with Yeontan and that was super adorable, but did I think that was proof of vmin being real? No. That thought didn’t even cross my mind. And it still doesn’t.

Those cars are their company cars, meaning the ones they take during work. Those are not their private cars which they take during their private time. If they were, then I’d be inclined to discuss if two members always sharing a car might mean something (though even then not necessarily romance wise), but as long as they are company cars with a company driver and at least one manager present inside taking them from schedule to schedule, often times who goes with who being decided by their security team based on surely a plethora of factors we know nothing about, I couldn’t care less who drives with who because, in my opinion, it doesn’t mean anything in connection to ships, true relationships and how close any of the members are with each other, or (even less about possible) romances within the group.

And yes, I would say the same thing if vmin would always drive together. Or if namjin would.

My counter question, actually, would be if the same people who argue that “this proves my ship is real because they always drive together” would think the same thing if instead vmin always drove together? Or do these rules, as always, only apply to their ship exclusively? It wouldn’t be the first time their hypocrisy and double standards would be glaringly obvious within such arguments, which is why I find them rather pointless.

Admin 2: I’ll admit that I look around different sns since I like knowing things, not only about BTS but in general, even politics. I’ll also admit that I sometimes do what a true fan shouldn’t do and watch things from sources (never, ever sasa/engs) we shouldn’t pay attention to on YT (even though Admin 1 tells me I shouldn’t do it). Based on that I’ve noticed how oftentimes the maknaes will leave a building or place and be directed by their security team where they should go, instead of them deciding that they will share cars because of their own ideas or friendships. It seems like it oftentimes simply isn’t their choice to make, but their managers and security team.

In previous years when we usually only saw them arrive at airports and award shows, the constellations of who drove with who were much different than they are now that BTS are “stuck” in Korea due to the pandemic. Often JK arrived at the airport with Hobi (or any of the other hyungs), while Jimin and Tae came together. Not always, since Jimin sometimes arrived with Namjoon, but often enough, and they’d sometimes even arrive late.

My opinion is that JK and Jimin nowadays drive together simply on the sole basis that they work closely together, they are the lead and main vocals after all and share dance parts with each other as well, and if people want to describe it as “them being closest together” then yes, I agree, but only when it comes to their work. Which is also why they drive a car together from schedule to schedule.

Let’s remember their pas de deux for Black Swan at MMA (which was magnificent). It’s the best kind of example for why they share a car since they simply have similar schedules. Just learning that pas de deux to be able to dance it so gracefully and beautifully on water no less, takes an enormous amount of time and practice.

Even from a more safety angle, it’s safer for those two to be in one car. Compared to the hyung line, the maknaes are far more “under threat” due to the sheer obsession some people have when it comes to these three and when obsession is involved, people can be unpredictable. By putting at least two out of three maknaes into the same car, their security team has it easier to keep a close eye on them and keep them safe.

Also seeing as Tae has been working on his mixtape for the better part of 2020, it makes complete sense that his schedule would be a little different than the others and by taking a car on his own, it gave him the flexibility of going to the BH building whenever he wanted to between other schedules and get in time for working on music without dragging along another member who’d want to do something else in that time, or have other obligations to attend to.

Often we see Jin and Yoongi in a car, or Yoongi and Hobi, and Namjoon being on his own or with Hobi, and none of that seems to be influenced by their personal bonds and relationships either, but rather their work related obligations and schedules.

We should keep in mind that BH isn’t a romance agency, but a company for idols, music and business, so BH doesn’t in that moment care about their personal feelings for each other, but simply goes by more business and schedule related reasonings. The only time in which I could believe that BH also follows some kind of agenda (and this is only my opinion, not fact) is when the members appear at some kind of event or place where they know people will see them exit their cars.

We don’t know anything about how any of the car sharing looks like on a daily basis, what their schedules are like, or even if the company cars pick them up at home or if the members meet up at the BH building and go from there. We simply don’t know. The only thing that is certain is that if they arrive at an award show already dressed accordingly, it’s only reasonable that they went from and will return to the agency to change back into their own clothes before going home.

JK likes driving his car, we know as much, so who’s to say that he doesn’t arrive at BH building in the morning leaving his car parked in the underground car park. Or if Yoongi or Jin or Hobi do the same thing. We also know that sometimes Namjoon used to take his bicycle to the BH building, or a time when Seokjin said he did the same and halfway there passed someone who greeted him though in the moment he had no idea who it was and later it turned out it was Yoongi on his bicycle returning from the BH building. As vminnies we should remember what Jimin said, that due to their differences in schedules Jimin and Tae weren’t even able to record any of Friends together, which is why they left those messages in the blank moment of the song behind for each other. Remember that vlive that Jimin and JK did making gimbap? On a weekend? Tae said he was at the BH building since the morning working on his music, which again shows how different their schedules on a day to day basis are.

When it comes to the “popular” opinion that’s being spread across all sns about “two members driving together must mean they are super close/are a couple”, I disagree with that. Sometimes when I look at those comments and the things they are implying, I actually kind of feel a little sorry for JK. It seems like those who push their agendas involving him don’t “allow” him any private life with his own thoughts and wants, but merely see him as this pawn that’s supposed to act just the way they want him to and as attachment for one or the other ship. They don’t “allow” him any time for himself, any time to recover and relax after a day of hard work, but just see him as part of their ship that always has to be together, that’s basically fused together at the hip and sees no other reason for anything they do other than being together (some even claiming that they do naughty things in the company cars on top of everything else). It’s almost like some don’t see him as his own person, which just is plain wrong.

Why doesn’t the same also apply to Jin and Yoongi, who oftentimes also share a car? Why do people accept and see it as obvious that Yoongi also needs some time on his own or to spend it with different members doing different things, or just being in his studio doing something for hours without anyone around? Why do people respect that and not immediately conclude that he’s “moved away” emotionally from the group like they so often imply with a certain maknae?

One observation I’d like to share, which shows that sharing a car doesn’t have to mean anything at all, would be the time after Bang Bang Con. The members left the building one after the other, and sure, JK and Jimin went together, after JK was directed toward the car Jimin was in by their security staff, but the interesting part is this: Jimin was the only member that left the building without a bag or purse or anything. Meanwhile Tae left with two, one of them looking like his own and the other like a bag that clearly belonged to Jimin. Both bags left with him. Or the time when they had their KBS interview where they arrived in one constellation yet left in a different one where Tae, Jimin, JK and Hobi shared a van even though they hadn’t done so upon arrival.

Both these instances, and many others, show us that their car sharing arrangements simply don’t mean a thing, in my opinion.

If you’ve ever worked in a team or been part of a sport team or even a dance team, you know that you develop an entirely different level of closeness, especially as dancers where physical closeness is oftentimes key to certain choreographies and poses. But this closeness in conjunction to work is something entirely different from the type of closeness a couple has and can’t even be compared to it. Just look at figure skating pairs where the guys lift the girls into crazy poses while holding them by their butts or thighs and they have no issue with such closeness, which you might assume could mean they are also actual couples, but the thing is that most pair skaters are not. Most of them have other partners or marriages because that closeness to a romantic partner is entirely different from your skating partner, even if they are your closest friend.

Vmin don’t share cars, and yet at the end of the day Tae still texts Jimin that he’s too lazy to move and that instead Jimin should come sleep next to him.

#answered ask #answered ask by admin 1 #answered by admin 2 #a discussion on BTS sharing cars #bts

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103oclock · 4 years

Text

[FULL ENG TRANS] 2020.04.20 W Korea’s May edition : Stay happy, cool and strong (Baekhyun)

EXO Baekhyun’s strong identity is driven by his happiness in enjoying music.

We’ve met before through an interview with EXO, many years ago. I clearly remember something you said then, which was, ‘Before entering SM, I thought I was the best singer in Bucheon.’ Baekhyun at that time did say that (laughs). He had so much ‘confidence.’

Thanks to what you said then, when I see you slowly improving ever since you said that, I think about those stories where a kid who is good at studying enters a science or foreign language high school* and becomes crestfallen after realising where he ranks in the whole school, so he studies with all his heart and becomes the top in school. Ah, my trainee days was when my confidence took a big blow. It just felt like my song would never get picked since there were so many other people who could sing so well. When you enter as a professional, you can’t be sloppy for even a second, and they will demand for you to be perfect, even down to every detail. I stopped thinking that singing is my specialty, and I had to reevaluate my thoughts on music. *=Science or foreign language high schools are prestigious schools in South Korea.

Even when you were discouraged, at some point your confidence would come back again, right? That’s right, to some extent. Also, I’m not the kind to let someone else dampen my spirit just because they said so (laughs).

I’m aware that you are planning to release your solo album soon. Because of the current situation, changes were made to the initial plans which could make things a little vague now. There are several activities I was scheduled to do but now can’t, but this situation now is not easy for everyone, and there are many people who are working very hard. There are still more to be done in several aspects, album-wise, but you can look forward to it as it will be different from the previous solo.

Did you have any desire or goal when you were working on your first solo album <City Lights>, which was released in summer? Since a long time ago, I’ve been wanting to do songs with city pop vibes. Also, it is meaningful to have the album comprised of just my voice. I hoped for people to hear the album and at least think, ‘So this is the kind of voice Baekhyun has.’ I’m glad it received such a good outcome.

What do you mean by ‘good outcome’? I got a lot of positive feedback. There were people who recognised the effort I put into the voice and vibe I wanted to express. The album sales were also good thanks to my fans.

What kind of voice did you want to express? Something that’s a little dreamy (laughs), and I guess I wanted there to be sexy vibes even with just my voice?

I was a little dubious when I first heard that the title track was called ‘UN Village,’ because it’s the more luxurious version of ‘Samsung Raemian’ (laughs). However, after listening to it, it seems like ‘luxurious’ was the keyword that was the main theme of the entire album. Even on stage, your performance is relaxed and doesn’t require much of an angle (as in a certain kind of look/style/theme), it looks like you wanted to portray that sort of laidback appeal. Oh, that’s very accurate. Because EXO has themes and we do powerful performances, I wanted my solo to be different. I wanted to pull out something I think of as my weapon, something that is relaxed rather than strong, and more focused on my voice itself.

It’s rather difficult to be relaxed if you don’t do a lot of preparation. Between what you do best and what you like best, which of the two do you think is closer to the composition of your first album? At first I matched the make up of the album to what I like, but I think it slowly became what I do best as I practised and did my studies. I’m always like that. I always do what I like instead of what I do best. There is almost nothing you are good at from the start. It starts of as ‘This is so hard, but I like it’ and at some point when I get familiar with it and master it, it feels really exhilarating.

This is sudden but it’s always fascinating to me when I see singers like you that start off with the position as a vocal, and become a dancer that does dynamic performances on stage. Could it be because SM is originally known for it's unrivalled training system, or is it because that person actually has dance DNA but simply never had the opportunity to draw it out? From the aspect of whether one knows how to use their body and muscles, it looks like I have the influence of the DNA. From moving your chest to doing several other movements. For example, there are people who find it hard to do detailed movements like ‘lift your right shoulder, and then pop your chest, bring down your right shoulder and lift your left shoulder.’ On top of that, SM’s environment, which has many people that started off as choreographers and have a command of high quality dancing in nature, also contributed to my progress. Looking around at my surroundings, I followed suit so my abilities got better, and there were many things I could learn and many things I was motivated by.

Soon it will be the 8th anniversary since EXO debuted so shall we talk about the time that started history? How did you feel at the start when you had to digest and do difficult dance moves even though you were a vocalist? I just had this desire. ‘I don’t want to remembered as the person who can’t dance.’ Thankfully, the members taught me and Chen, who entered the group late, until the wee hours of the morning. Kai took care of Chen, and Sehun took care of me. All the while competing who taught better, and who mastered the dance better. I improved a lot during the time we practised together.

Looking back, after debuting, was there a critical period where you felt like you were growing too fast? Around summer 2016 ‘Monster,’ my performance skills definitely improved. Choreographer Shim Jaewon hyung actually included a solo performance for me at the start of the song. There wasn’t supposed to have a solo performance but he said, ‘Baekhyun, you have a talent in dance too, you just have to work a little bit harder, let’s start building up your confidence now,’ and he choreographed a solo performance and encouraged me. From then on, I thought, ‘So I’m not someone who can’t dance,’ and I gained confidence in expressing myself through my body while doing my best for that solo performance. What I never knew, or what I suppressed, up to that point, I then started to express naturally.

Oh, that was around the time the special cover edition ‘EXOclusive’ you did with <W Korea> was produced! Was there a period where you were in a slump, music-wise? At the start of EXO’s activities, when we’re going from ‘MAMA’ to ‘Wolf.’ I achieved the reality of debuting and suddenly received a lot of attention, so the kid that was full of confidence became scared of singing. I doubted myself, that my singing might be weird. It was around then that my interest in vocalisation peaked, and I studied a lot. As I did that, my fears disappeared little by little and I started to anticipate how my voice would sound like when I sing live. I put in a lot of effort in ways like thinking if I should do it a certain way this time so it could sound different, and if I like the sound of my tone in a certain song, I could apply a part of it to another song.

Then before EXO, when did you first vaguely feel that you had something similar to a talent? The first time I ever went to a karaoke. Might have been grade 6 of elementary school.

What song did you sing? It was Yarn’s song. What was the song called... Can I quickly search it up?

Yarn’s songs are one of the tests for high-pitched power, and have made many guys fail miserably in karaokes. Exactly. Yarn’s ‘Run.’ Weirdly, I sang the song comfortably as how I heard it, and my friends’ reactions were huge. Ever since then, I thought ‘Oh? I didn’t even learn how to sing yet everyone says I’m good? This must be my greatest strength!’ and I started to like singing.

Your audience then reacted to your mic and your acoustics, which made that the moment you became a celebrity. So that’s how the history of ‘Bucheon Prince’ came about (laughs). My friends wouldn’t sing songs that are high in pitch. So I thought, ‘Huh? Why?’ I was still young then so I didn’t even know what a vibrato was, I just thought that the note was “vibrating.” When I hear that the end of the note doesn’t vibrate, I would think, ‘Why don’t they do the vibration thing? Isn’t it kind of flat?’ It was a time when I was young and ‘snobby’ (laughs).

If you were to introduce a distinct characteristic of your vocals, how would you say it? Um. Smooth yet at the same time robust.

You possess everything good... Hehe, I don’t have an entirely beautiful voice but I have a kind of baritone voice that is saturated with tenderness. So it is an advantage that I don’t have to limit myself to one genre and can challenge myself extensively.

Still, is there anyone’s vocals that you wish to have? Kim Bumsoo sunbae. Recently I am realigning my vocals. From my breathing to my vocalisation, I am remodelling everything. So I think about vocals a lot, but when I hear Kim Bumsoo sunbae’s songs, I feel that he has quite the stability. I think of stability as a power that allows the audience to listen comfortably and enjoy the song, and to people who sing, as players of the game themselves, would either want to show off or have the freedom to express a bar of the song any way they want. He has amazing stability, and he has a great voice, and he possesses several different tones. There are many things to look up to him to.

Instead of changing just one vocal aspect, you’re changing your style from the basics. It’s going to be a tough process. It’s not easy. I’ve been learning from my current vocal teacher for about a year now, but luckily, he’s like a saviour to me. Singer Im Hanbyul hyung introduced him to me. He not only teaches me vocal skills, but also helps me to find peace mentally. He’s like a doctor that does a full check-up on whatever I am uneasy about. He’s really grown up. [A/N: there’s no pronoun for Baekhyun’s vocal teacher but I used a standard pronoun for ease of reading]

Do you have any aspirations as a member of SuperM? We began our activities last fall and we were the first of Asia Artistes to debut at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 chart with our debut album. I’ve said ‘We will show you another kind of K-Pop’ in an interview in The States before, but there is another meaning behind the face value of what I said. No matter how I look at it, isn’t now the era to turn the impossible possible? It’s the same for SuperM. The fact that members of different groups have come together to form another group is entirely a whole new system. We were the pioneers to give it a shot, and that in itself is a step that creates synergy. With this in mind, I have the desire to make K-Pop widely known.

In the 2000′s, K-Pop started to gain popularity when SMTOWN was having their world tour, and in the recent years, K-Pop has once again taken another leap. Have you ever felt that it’s true while you were on tour? Of course. When we do interviews overseas, journalists would say things like, ‘If we were to define K-Pop, we can’t forget about the perfectly synced dance choreography, right?’ The style of group dance choreography, which has been around since long ago, is what shaped K-pop and I think of it as K-Pop’s important trait. When they know and point out that aspect, I feel proud and grateful.

SuperM brings EXO’s Baekhyun and Kai, SHINEE’s Taemin, NCT’s Taeyong and Mark, WayV’s Lucas and Ten together in a team. How is it like when you’re all together? They’re all really, honestly, very nice and innocent kids. They transform on stage but when I see how they’re like together off stage, I wonder how they could be that innocent. I want you guys to know that side of the boys before showing you our music and performance.

Are they like innocent boys behind the cool and handsome men that glare when they sing ‘We will burn on this stage’ during the performance? These guys also possess everything good... Superheroes normally conceal their own identity and show a mild appearance but when nighttime comes, they apprehend bad guys. Ever since I was young, I’ve always thought that somehow that was what true justice was (laughs). I feel like if the duality of how the boys are like daily and how they are like when they concentrate on stage was known, all the members are able to shine more brightly.

In today’s photoshoot, you went from bright and impeccable Baekhyun to Baekhyun with a dark charisma. And Cartier’s jewelry shone just like EXO Baekhyun, who symbolises ‘light’ (laughs). If you were to have dual personalities, what would it be? Though I am mostly nice and well-mannered, I am the type to be straightforward and be firm when I think ‘This isn’t right.’ Even when people who think ‘this person belongs to me,’ when they treat them badly, my firmness will appear. When that happens, I will step in and say something.

Listening to your stories, you seem like a person who is motivated by yourself. That’s right. I always find faults in myself. Whether it is on stage or my treatment towards other people, I frequently think about whether I had any drawbacks. I always think about questions like ‘Why do I keep doing the wrong move these days,’ or ‘Am I not focusing, or am I lacking practice for that part?’

What is something you need in order to continue and live a long life as an artist that has debuted in an idol group? First of all, I think the answer to that is finding out what you really want to do. Because if you don’t go through that process and simply follow the trend or what other people want, it’ll be easy for you to be left behind as an artist. If you look at idols who have been in the industry for a long time, their own colour is very clear no matter what. I could also soon become Baekhyun version 2. A life where I find out whether I can succeed with just my voice.

Would you have a (however) big ambition inside of you? Ambition, I definitely have it. There’s a saying, ‘In for a penny, in for a pound’ (laughs). However, I’m not the kind that is full of fighting spirit and think I have to achieve a certain goal. I do not want my huge desire for success to eat me up. To me, doing things happily while laughing is most important to me. That level of ambition would be more like ‘I hope they recognise my hard work’ I guess? When you work hard on something, it will still shine no matter what, and no matter how bright. And I want to show off what I am good at anyway so, hehe.

Translation by 103oclock (Source)

#trans #baekhyun #wkorea #w korea #exo #superm

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