#I hate it here. I hate being jealous and I hate feeling worthless

[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

Every single day I have to fight the urge to not live blog my deteriorating mental health on my main but honestly. Anymore I feel like I am getting closer and closer to full on snapping and then live blogging what happens

[blainesebastian]

ocean in a glass

word count: 7,093 ship: Nick Leister x reader rating: R (language) summary: The last thing you expected was for Nick to offer to be your fake date for the night. notes: continue to appreciate all of you who send me comments, cute asks or even just like or reblog my fics. thank you!!! 🥰 notes 2: gifs are from here, masterlist is here!

It’s not that you want your ex back, you don’t. You’re just pissed that he managed to actually hurt you. Your relationship wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot, but you thought you were happy. At least most of the time. It’s not like you have a lot to compare it to, you’ve only been in a handful of relationships, and this past one was the longest and most serious. No, it wasn’t always easy, it took a little bit of work. But that’s…you didn’t think there was anything wrong with that. Relationships aren’t always what they seem like in books, or movies. Sometimes you need to put time and effort in. 

Regardless, you never thought your ex would cheat on you. 

Even if things had been off for a week or so, even if you thought that you might have been falling out of love with him anyways, the action itself stings. Didn’t you respect one another enough to talk about what wasn’t working? Didn’t you both care enough about eachother to be honest? You had been building up the nerve to have a conversation…and then this whole thing just blew up in your face. 

You’re angry it hurts, you’re upset that your social circles have been tainted by him acting like you never meant anything in the first place. You’re not…totally put off that people talk, some consider Evan to be an outright dick anyways. But that worthless feeling that sits in your chest sometimes? That ‘what if’ that lingers that maybe you somehow deserved this, that you weren’t a good enough girlfriend to keep? 

You hate that he put those doubts there. Because you know, inherently, that they're not true. 

Except you haven’t been able to get rid of those feelings, sometimes they hang around, like ghosts. 

Evan’s got plenty of people he’s interested in, he’s a free agent that’s taking advantage of being single. You’re not jealous about that or wishing his attentions were turned towards you. You do, however, hate the sickening feeling that you’re alone in all this. You’re not saying you need to jump into another relationship but the break-up does a number on your self-esteem, your self-worth. Jenna teases you that it’s time to get over Evan by getting underneath someone else, and you get the sentiment, but that’s the last thing you’re interested in. Casual or otherwise. 

You just…want to stop feeling like garbage, hate that he’s coiled that emotion deep within your chest, like weeds sprouting. You know that one day you’ll be okay, that those feelings will pass, that you know Evan wasn’t worth all the time and effort you gave him. You’ll get over it. But maybe that’s what fucking stings too…the fact that you gave so much when he gave so little. 

Leaning against the kitchen counter in Jenna’s kitchen, you smile when Lion leans over and presses a kiss to her temple. You then glance away, the action somehow making your chest hurt.

“C’mon,” Jenna grins at you, and you tap your fingers on the table, “You have to come, I want you there.” 

Nick comes around the corner into the kitchen, just arriving, the scent of his cologne wafting past you. It’s not overwhelming, though, it’s comforting in the way you know a person, that feeling of safety that being close to someone can provide. You give him a small smile when he rounds the counter, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment, a tug of his lips. 

“What are we talking about?” 

You sigh dramatically, rolling your eyes before shaking your head. Jenna gets up off her stool, “I was telling Y/N that she needs to come to this party tonight, that she can’t sit around and stick her head in the sand.” 

“She is sitting right here,” I reply, letting out a soft laugh. You glance towards Nick, your eyes briefly running over his form—pair of jeans, a black t-shirt, silver chain resting on his chest,  leather jacket. The soft blonde in his curls looks almost darkened gold underneath the kitchen lights. Handsome without even trying. “I’m not interested in going to a party that my ex is at.” 

Jenna crinkles her nose, “Never?” 

“Babe, maybe let her be.” Lion gently squeezes her side and you force a smile you don’t altogether feel. You get that Jenna is trying to help and in general? You do agree that moving on is a good idea, you’re just…not ready for that yet. 

“No, it’s okay,” You assure, glancing towards Nick when you can feel his gaze. You’ve known him a long time and yet it’s always been difficult to get a good read on him because he rarely wears his emotions on his face. Unless he’s pissed. You like the moments where he smiles with his eyes, you wish he did it more often. 

“I just don’t feel like being around him right now.” 

You don’t admit why, but you’re sure your friends can guess. Evan has been throwing into your face that he’s been flirting with basically anything that moves. It’s not that you’re jealous or even care about him, not anymore. Not like that. But you hate that he thinks he’s getting underneath your skin. It also just speaks to the fact that your relationship wasn’t worth…anything to him. And that, for reasons you can’t fully express, is embarrassing to you. 

Jenna hums, moving around the counter to plant a kiss to your cheek that makes you laugh before she says she’s going to get ready. “Whatever you want babe, long as you’re okay.” Lion follows in tow, skittering behind her to pick her up in a way that makes her giggling echo down the hallway. 

You’re not okay yet, not exactly, but…you’ll get there. 

Shaking your head, you reach for a glass of water that you poured, your eyes slipping to Nick. “You going tonight?” 

He nods, a small smile on his face as he leans against the counter, “Someone doesn’t watch Lion he’ll end up thinking he can hula dance.” A laugh bubbles up in your chest at the mental image. 

“Wouldn't wish that on anyone.” 

“No,” Nick agrees with a soft smirk, straightening his shoulders before taking a longer look at you. His eyes travel along your form, as if he’s drinking you in, attempting to read words printed underneath your skin. You resist the urge to squirm. “So definitely not going?” 

You blink, “What? Oh,” You curl your hair around your ear, “Nah, not even just with the Evan thing but I don’t think I’d be very great company right now.” 

He moves to stand near where you are, leaning his hip against the counter so he can face you, “I doubt that.” 

A small smile tugs the corner of your mouth, your stomach dipping in butterflies. You lift your hand to playfully poke at his chest, “You’re sweet.” 

Nick catches your wrist, his fingers moving to squeeze your own. You expect him to let go after that but he doesn’t. Instead, he runs his thumb along your knuckles, “I’m not,” He replies, “Not really.” 

You hum a little, not believing him for a moment. Maybe he’s not exactly the warmest person to everyone, but to his friends? The people he cares for? He’s one of the sweetest people you’ve ever met. Thoughtful, caring, protective. You love that about him. 

Part of you considered going to this party just to let off steam, but that other part of you feels weighed down in molasses, unsure of how to pull yourself free from that. You watch the way Nick’s hand travels along your own, dipping your thumb to press against his, a soft smirk as it almost becomes a war. He covers yours, shaking your hand a little and encouraging you to look up. 

“He’s an absolute shit for hurting you.” He says and you…you don’t need anyone to tell you that, but it means something for him to say it. 

You swallow over an emotion in your throat, shrugging your one shoulder, “I feel stupid that he did,” You admit quietly, “Like I should have seen it coming.” 

Nick shakes his head, “What he did isn’t your fault.” 

Letting out a soft sigh that tilts your head back a little, you don’t say anything. For one, you don’t want to end up doing something embarrassing like crying. That jerk does not deserve your tears. But also? It’s hard to accept those words as truth. You're trying to, but it’s not easy. 

“I think he thinks I’m stuck up on him,” Your eyebrows draw together, “That’s the last thing I am.” 

Nick licks his lips and you can tell for a moment that he’s mulling something over, chewing words and slipping them under his tongue before he says, 

“I think hiding gives him that impression.” 

The words hit an open wound, even though they’re not meant to. They dig into a place in which you’re utterly vulnerable and you hate that Nick’s exploited that spot. Or maybe you’re just ashamed that he’s right. You are hiding. 

You chew on your lower lip and Nick soothes his thumb up your hand and over the inside of your wrist, as if apologizing. But you don’t want him to say he’s sorry, he doesn’t owe you that. He’s right—he’s completely right. 

“What…should I do instead?” 

Nick purses his lips, a swirl of amusement and mischievousness amongst the brown of his eyes. Your heart ticks up behind your ribcage, “I think you should come to the party tonight. And I think you should let me be your date.” 

—

It wasn’t often that you, Evan and your friend group had hung out around one another. Jenna had never been a fan, but respected how you felt, supported you despite getting ‘those vibes’ that Evan was trouble. You should have listened to her, but love—or what you thought was love, is not only blind but apparently deaf and dumb as well. 

The few times Nick and Evan were around one another, it never ended well. Evan got on Nick’s nerves from the very moment that he didn’t get your birthday right. It seemed, at the time, like an honest mix up, a confusion of a few days, but ever since then? It didn’t take much for Evan to get under Nick’s skin. 

You remember this one instance that you were all hanging out at Jenna’s, eating food, chatting, debating whether to head to the beach over the long weekend. Evan picked up a fried olive and tried to feed it to you—

You scrunch your nose, “No, I’m good.” 

He scoffs, “C’mon, trying to be romantic here. Granted it’s not as sexy as a chocolate covered strawberry, but—” 

A small smile tugs the corners of your mouth but you shake your head. You appreciate the sentiment, but, “I’m good. You eat it.”

Evan opens his mouth to say something again when Nick interrupts, his voice hard around the edges, making his accent appear deeper, “For fuck’s sake, she doesn’t like olives.” 

You remember a soft swoop in your stomach at that, that something so trivial and simple could have such a big impact. It’s not like you’re not vocal about things like that—you hate raw onions, you don’t like olives, and you’re allergic to shellfish. It should have been obvious, easy to remember. Just like your birthday. And yet. 

Maybe you should have realized it then. Because it felt like Nick was trying to point out—you really shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t know you or worse, care to remember. 

—

You pace, back and forth, in the inside of your walk-in closet for a few moments, wondering what the fuck you were thinking. 

When Nick mentioned he should be your date, your fake date, you had let out a sharp laugh that kinda lingered until you realized he wasn’t kidding. 

What? 

Look, you can show everyone that you’re not hiding out, stuck up on that fuck-face. And who knows, maybe you’ll actually have a good time while you’re at it. 

You have no idea why you said yes. Actually, no, that’s a lie. You know exactly why you said yes—because Nick’s an instigator, for one, but also? He’s right. You do want to head to that party and have a good time and prove to everyone (and yourself) that you’re not as hurt by what Evan did as what’s assumed. You’re not saying it’s not okay to feel terrible about what’s happened…but you shouldn’t let it break you, either. 

A deeper part of you has also thought about Nick, has considered the possibility of more than just friendship. Sometimes gazes and touches linger, and you wonder…

You wonder. 

But you’ve never allowed yourself to go beyond that. You were with Evan and even when you weren’t, Nick always felt like someone just out of reach, unattainable for so many reasons. So tonight, the promise of being able to tuck yourself in close, to brush your lips against his own, to pretend—it’s too alluring to pass up. 

I’m going to be miserable, you said. 

I can take it, Nick teased, it’s part of your charm. 

So now here you are, pacing in your closet, trying to figure out what the fuck to wear like you’ve never attended a party before. Everything feels too tight, or too short or too uncomfortable. It’s all in your head, you know that, and yet you rip another dress off and toss it into the corner to lay with the rest of what you’ve already tried on. 

Like a little cemetery of party clothes. 

Nick purses his lips from his spot on a stool near your shoes, “I kinda liked that one.” 

“You’ve said that about all of them.” It doesn’t bother you that you’re wandering around your closet in front of him in your bra and underwear, your bathing suit has covered less skin. Nothing he hasn’t seen before. You are bothered, however, that you can feel his eyes on you as you move about the space. 

It’s making you feel a little stir crazy, like bugs underneath your skin. 

“I have nothing to wear, I can’t go.” 

Nick’s lips twitch but he doesn’t smile, knows better than to do that, standing instead and running a hand through his curls. He steps over dresses on the floor and fingers through ones that are still on hangers. Not for long, if you’ve got anything to do with it. You’re about to call it quits, for real. He tugs on a denim one—it’s an overalls mini dress, made for something to go under it. You’ve worn it over bathing suits before, long sleeves with tights underneath in the winter. 

“Wear this.” 

You crinkle your nose, “It’s plain.” 

“Not on you.” 

You feel your cheeks heat and travel all the way down your neck, “You gotta stop saying stuff like that.” 

“As your fake date, I’m obligated,” He grins, taking the dress off the hanger. His eyes brush over your bra and then he turns, tugging open a drawer that’s half open that has lace bralettes sticking out of it. He plucks a black one between his fingers. “This underneath. Let me see.” 

You blink at the selection but sigh, taking them. You then twirl your fingers in a circle, “You’re going to have to turn around for this.” 

He smiles, leaning his shoulder against the one wall of your closet, “I’ll be on my absolute best behavior.” He crosses his heart and you shove his shoulder, making him laugh. He then covers his eyes with his hands. 

Smiling just a little, you change into the outfit he picked out, looking at yourself in the mirror. Cute, with a hint of sexiness underneath the denim dress thanks to the lace, and above-all comfortable. It’s actually…a really good choice, though you’re not sure you want to give him the satisfaction in saying that. 

“Can I look?” 

Smoothing your hands over imaginary wrinkles, you nod before you realize he can’t see you. “Yes.” 

Nick pulls his hands away from his face, his eyes drinking you in. It’s definitely not the sexiest thing you’ve ever worn but maybe it’s not supposed to be. It’s not about trying too hard, it’s about being confident with yourself. He steps towards you, his fingers adjusting the strap so it’s straight. 

There’s something about the intimacy of having him stand so close, the privacy of the closet that makes that lump appear in your throat again. Your wring your hands in front of you as you look up at Nick, 

“Do you think he regrets it?” You whisper. 

Nick’s gaze swims with empathy, almost to the point where you have to look away. And it’s…it’s not about feeling bad for you, it’s that he’s hurt because you’re hurting. 

“I think he should,” He replies gently. “I think that’s something that can be arranged.” He means tonight. His hand moves to your chin, brushing his thumb along your jawline. 

“But I want you to promise me something.” 

You let out a breath, “Not to join Lion in the hula?” 

He smirks before shaking his head. “That at no point tonight you blame this breakup on yourself.” 

God. He really does see right through you. A smile decorates your face, but it’s not real, too tight, pretending you’re okay. 

“I dunno if I can promise that.” You whisper. 

A ghost of a smile touches his lips. “Alright,” He nods, understands. “Then I can’t promise I won’t fucking punch him.” 

Your hand covers your mouth as a sudden laugh slips out, that smiling with your eyes thing you mentioned happening on Nick’s face. He reaches for your elbows, tugging you forward until he can wrap his arms around you in a hug. And god, you don’t realize how much you need that until it’s happening. You allow yourself to be folded into his chest, closing your eyes for a few moments, listening to the sound of his breathing. 

There is nothing fake about how your heartbeat skips. 

—

You’ve been fidgety since you left your house. 

You send Jenna a text on the way that you’re coming and she’s thrilled even though you feel so out of your element. Like you have no idea how to act at a party even though that’s not what the nerves are from. It’s not until Nick’s hand gently comes down on your knee and squeezes do you realize you’re jackhammering your leg so bad. 

You smile sheepishly, unhooking your shoulders from your ears and trying to relax back into the leather seats. You expect him to pull away, but he doesn’t, only doing so when you arrive and he needs both hands to park. Letting out a slow breath, you undo the seatbelt, the hum of the engine disappearing as Nick takes his keys out. He’s glancing at you, trying to catch your eye, you can feel it—but for some reason you avoid it, getting out of the car. 

Before you can begin walking up the gravel walkway to the house, he catches your wrist, tugging you to face him. When you do, he searches your eyes for something, probably just to make sure you’re okay. When you offer him a timid smile, he brushes his thumb along the tree of veins near your thumb. It grounds you. 

“This being a date and everything,” Your eyebrows draw together in soft confusion, noticing he doesn’t say the word ‘fake’— you wonder if that’s because someone might overhear him. Couples and groups of friends are parking nearby and making their way towards the low thumps of music ahead. Though the longer you think about that, the more ridiculous it feels. 

He continues, “I need to know if there’s anything you’re not okay with.” 

“Like…you mean, touching?” 

His gaze falls to your lips, “Something like that.” 

You smile a little because…Nick is one of the most tactile people you’ve ever met. He speaks with his hands, he always has. Your friendship has consisted of his hands on you, and vice versa—fingers lingering along your lower back to guide you through a crowd, or pressing into your shoulder blades after a long day, up and down your spine when you’re upset. You, in turn, touch him in similar manners. It’s just…always been a thing between you two, the personal space significantly smaller.

Which is why you say, “Yeah, no. I’m okay with everything.” 

He gives a slow nod, “Okay, just checking.” 

You really appreciate that. Appreciate him. There’s still a swirling of butterflies living in your stomach and visiting your individual ribs at the thought that you’re actually doing this with him, as it settles in the forefront of your mind—

And then all matter of thoughts stop dead in their tracks, because Nick is suddenly shifting you backwards until you bump into the driver’s side of the car. A breath catches in your throat, your heartbeat roaring in your ears like an oncoming wave from the ocean, not yet crashing into the shore. Your gaze searches his but he gives nothing away, just the soft comfort of his brown eyes and the gentle quirk of his mouth. 

His mouth. 

Nick cups your cheek, pausing just a moment as he leans in—just in case, you think, for you to push him away if you wanted to. You’ve got no clue what you want but it’s certainly not that. 

He brushes his lips against yours and when there’s such a sharp intake of breath from you Nick fucking smirks. You refuse to let him unravel you, not unless he’s coming with. So you step closer to him, your bodies lined up and pressed together and you nip at his lower lip, surprising the hell out of him. 

It only takes a moment after that for his lips to come crashing down onto yours. 

The kiss is quick, a little bruising, and you feel yourself tilt your head into it, your hands falling to his chest and gathering the fabric of his shirt between your fingers, like you need to anchor yourself in place. Like the last thing you want is for him to step back. Eventually, that becomes inevitable. He teases the seam of your lips with his tongue and a soft moan you’ll deny making later leaves your throat. 

And then it’s over, he takes a half step back, looking down at you with darkened eyes. Or maybe it’s just the trick of the light out here. He smiles, brushing his thumb along your cheek. 

“Just…figured we’d get that out of the way so you could concentrate the rest of the night.” 

Heat pulses from the center of your body and licks down between your legs, lives there for a few moments as his hand finds yours, lacing your fingers. He squeezes, turns to begin walking with you, and thank fucking god you have a few moments to get your head on straight.

Concentrate the rest of the night? Unfucking likely. 

—

Turns out, being Nick’s date to this party is pretty much like showing up as his close friend. Except with a few specific differences. 

He’s always been an attentive person, but tonight he’s looking at you, speaking with you like you’re capable of hanging the moon. The first time you notice it, that subtle distinction is enough to nearly take you out at your knees. Then there’s the touches, which have always been a norm of your friendship, turned into something domestic and intimate. His hand lingers along your waist, your lower back, fingers brushing the top of your ass. It’s also the occasional nudge of his knuckles along your jawline, sweeping your hair over your shoulder, or guiding your chin so that your lips can graze. You don’t even want to get started on his mouth—how his lips feel against your temple or pressing a kiss into your hair. It overwhelms you in the best way—though not only that? It also serves as a distraction. 

Never does it at any point turn into something over the top, something for show. It’s like it’s as easy as anything else for him that requires muscle memory—boxing, racing, breathing. 

You almost forget none of it is real. 

Lining up a dart to the board…or an attempt, anyways, you let it fly across the space towards the destination. And end up hitting the wall. You wince, 

“I hate this game.” 

Nick chuckles warmly, going to pick up the dart from the floor and wander back over to you, “And that would have nothing to do with the fact that you can’t aim, right?” 

You pout, “It’s harder than it looks.” 

He hums, his eyes zeroing in on that lip. He lifts his hand and thumbs over it, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. A zing of heat travels straight down your spine. You’re not sure you’re going to last the night. 

When you first walked into the party with Nick, you expected everyone’s eyes to find you, for whispers to start, for Evan to appear around the corner with an attractive girl toeing behind. But none of that happens. The nightmarish drama that you’ve built up around yourself is exactly what it is: just a nightmare. The only one who cares about what someone might think about your breakup with Evan is you, which makes it slightly easier to settle into your own skin tonight. 

While a few girl’s heads turn to look down at Nick’s hand laced with yours, particularly Anna, no one cares that you’re here with him. Not even Jenna batted an eyelash at the fact that you were pressed against Nick’s side when she found you, tossing her arms around your neck and promising to get you a drink. She’s probably somewhere tucked away with Lion right now but that’s okay—surprisingly? You’re having a good time. 

Even though you’re losing this game of darts. 

You wonder if you can throw him off somehow, so you lean over and plant a kiss to his cheek. You try to convince yourself that’s all it is, and not because you just really want to. He raises his eyebrows as you pull back, reading you like an open book. 

“Valiant effort.” He teases, turning to face the board. 

He lines up the dart, tosses, and lands on the 20. You scoff, putting your hands on your hips, “Unfair.” 

“That would have been hitting the bullseye,” He smiles at you, licking his lips, “But I was trying to be nice.” 

You grumble under your breath as you reach for another dart—maybe you just need to try harder. Though you’re not sure if you’re directing that at fixing your aim or trying again at distracting him. You let out a breath, trying another technique at throwing the dart differently…and you hit the board but none of the numbers. Nick smiles, glancing over at you, putting his hands up, 

“I’m not going to say a thing.” But when you pout again, he lets out a sigh, “Want me to show you how?” 

You brighten, nodding, moving to retrieve the darts from the board. You set them down near Nick’s leather jacket and when he takes a step towards you, he leans down and brushes his lips along your ear. 

“I think you should ask me nicely.” He whispers. 

Seems wildly unfair that that causes a full bodied shiver but…you’ll deny that if it’s ever brought up. Because with how close Nick is standing? He definitely felt it. 

You turn your head a little, your lips a gentle pressure on his own, as you make your single request against his mouth, “Please?” 

Nick cups your cheek and kisses you. It’s nothing like the first—this one is far more gentle, done with purpose, with thought, his lips map yours as if he’s trying to memorize how it feels. You melt into him, turning to liquid honey against his chest, sliding your arms around his waist. You don’t even realize that one of your hands have gathered the material of his shirt, that you tug on him to come closer again when he begins to pull away. 

He smiles, his hand closing around yours, giving in to your insistence, and presses a quick series of kisses against your lips. You laugh lightly when his mouth follows yours, even when you turn your head, his arms circling around you and keeping you close. 

This is far too easy for you to get used to. 

When he does pull away, he slips behind you, picking up one of the darts. “Turn your body at a bit of an angle.” He instructs, palms on your hips, gently rotating. 

Nick passes the dart over and you try to ignore how you can feel the long lines of his body pressing into your back when his other hand settles on the one holding the dart. 

“You’re holding on too tight,” He tells you, the one hand on your hip has his thumb tracing circles. Are you really supposed to concentrate like this? “Loosen your hand a little.” 

“Loosen yours,” You grumble, to which Nick grins. You can’t see it, but you can feel it against your back, the way his whole body leans forward, squeezing a bit around your waist. 

“Didn’t realize it’d be so difficult for you to pay attention.” He pulls your arm back and demonstrates how to move to throw the dart forward. It feels different than what you were doing, you at least notice that much. 

A small scoff slips from your mouth, “I find it hard to believe that you don’t know exactly what you’re doing most of the time.” 

The fucker presses an open-mouthed kiss to your shoulder in response. You expect that to ruin any semblance of hitting the dart board when Nick drops his hand and encourages you to throw as he showed you—

And then the dart lands in the fucking bullseye. 

Your mouth falls open, a laugh tumbling out. When you whirl around to look at Nick, that handsome smugness fades away to warm amusement at how excited you are. 

You tell yourself to begin to put some distance between the two versions of Nick that you know—the good friend and the fake date, because at a certain point not being able to distinguish between them is only going to hurt you. 

But since you’re used to living with hurt recently, what’s the difference in piling on more ? 

You throw your arms around his neck, nearly rocking him back on his heels as his hands grasp your waist. You’re both smiling when you kiss again. 

—

Two hours pass without running into Evan and you think you begin to tell yourself that maybe it won’t happen. Maybe he went home early or maybe he was never here in the first place. Regardless? You’re grateful for Nick being there for you tonight, a constant support that you never realized you needed. Once you were able to relax? You started having a really good time. The night is spun together with your friends and Nick and…yes, he’s definitely a separate entity tonight. He’s considerate in a way you never realized he could be, and it makes you irrationally jealous of whatever girl in the future that’s going to be able to call him her boyfriend. 

Her very real boyfriend. 

These are thoughts you try your best to ignore as you dance with Jenna, Nick and Lion until your body begs for water. You lean close to Nick and he dips his head down so he can hear you over the music when you tell him you’re going to the kitchen. Instead of letting you go alone, he nods, his hand snaking down your arm to intertwine your fingers. As if it’s something you two do all the time. 

He guides you through the crowd and the air becomes a little cooler and easier to breathe as people dissipate in areas like the hallway and eventually the kitchen. You hum softly, reaching for a paper-towel as Nick breaks away from you to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. You turn the sink on, dampening the paper-towel in cool water and then drag it along your face, 

“I’m so hot,” You let out a soft laugh, “Think it’s the dress.” Denim was a cute idea until you decided to dance in it, until you were pressed together with a bunch of other people. 

He reaches for another paper-towel, drenching it with water and squeezing out the excess before lifting your hair off the back of your neck. When he sets the paper-towel there, you let out a soft moan of relief. 

“That help?” He asks, pressing an absentminded kiss to the back of your shoulder. You’re not sure if he even realizes he’s doing that anymore. 

You nearly want to lean back into him, it feels so good. You can’t even speak, you just nod as your eyes flutter closed. 

And that’s when you hear him. 

Evan’s laughter spills into the kitchen and you don't even realize that you’ve gone rigid until Nick’s hand begins to gently rub your back in soothing circles. That’s how Evan notices you. 

“Shit—Y/N, is that you?” He asks, voice a little slurred from drinking, “Didn’t think you’d be here.” 

Letting out a breath, you turn a little to glance at him, noticing that he’s alone. No one is trailing in behind him as he wanders over to the cooler near the sink to grab another beer. You wait for that moment in which your stomach bottoms out, in which you realize you miss him because that has to be what all of your feelings should dissolve down to, right? And yet…that moment doesn’t come. You don't miss him, you don’t miss what the two of you had, you certainly don’t love him. If anything, you’re upset with yourself for not breaking up with him sooner. You’re angry that you allowed him to dig under your skin, that he’s kind of doing it now by looking smug and satisfied he’s run into you. As if he’s not the one who cheated. You realize that you can be okay that you’re not together anymore but still be hurt by how it happened. It can all exist in the same space. 

“Why?” You ask, your voice surprisingly even. “I like coming to parties—why should tonight be any different?” 

He raises his eyebrows and then shrugs, smiling against the rim of his beer bottle, “Because I’ve heard you’ve been holed up after our breakup.” Seems like that gossip circle is spinning. Hiding out, just like Nick had said. You hate that Evan thinks it's because you’re torn up over losing him. 

You just wanted to avoid this. 

You bite down on the inside of your cheek, hard, at asking him questions that you know will just hurt. It’s like he’s acting like you were a quick fling that lasted a week, not a year spent together building what you thought was trust, love. You draw in a breath—At no point tonight you blame this breakup on yourself. It’s not your fault, you realize—his inability to take a relationship seriously has nothing to do with you. Nick’s right. 

Evan clicks his tongue off the roof of his mouth, “It’s pathetic really—” 

“Don’t talk to her like that.” Nick interrupts, sharp in warning. 

Evan blinks, like he didn’t even see Nick standing there until he opened his mouth. He scoffs, not put off by him, having another sip of his beer, “It’s cute that you think I’d be bothered by him having my sloppy seconds.” 

A few things happen at once—you can feel Nick tense beside you, and you know him well enough to recognize what’s coming. But before he can even throw a fist, you’re chucking yours. It’s like you’re watching in slow motion beside yourself, your arm arched back and then it pops forward, punching Evan right in the fucking nose. 

You’re not sure whether it’s momentum or fucking surprise but Evan’s head snaps to the side before he begins howling. Your mouth opens a little in shock, staring at your fist and the pain radiating from your knuckles up your arm like they’re not even attached to your body. 

“You fucking bit—” 

“I would stop speaking, if I were you.” Nick states, a clear indication that he will gladly finish what you started. 

Shockingly, Evan clamps his mouth shut, holding his face, the glare he’s throwing strong enough to melt someone on the spot. Nick puts his hand on your back, unphased, and leads you out of the kitchen. 

—

You head outside, the chilly air settling in your bones and cooling your blood, which still sounds like it’s pounding in your ears. Nick slides his leather jacket off, placing it over your shoulders and you’re suddenly enveloped with the heat of his body and the scent of his cologne, laundry detergent, and something purely him. 

There’s a well-groomed yard in the back of this party, bushes and flowers and a greenhouse. To the right of it sits a small gazebo and to the left, a set of swings. You raise your eyebrows, your feet drawing you towards the swingset until you’re sitting down in one of them. Nick stands in front of you, holding onto the metal linked chains for a moment before stretching his hand out to you, palm up. 

You place your right hand there, watching. His skin is warm as he splays open your fingers, checking your knuckles. 

“I can’t believe I hit him.” You admit after a moment, a shocked noise of amusement leaving your lips. Fuck. That was so not intended. 

“I know,” Nick replies, lips twitching, “I can’t believe you beat me to it.” 

You can’t help it, you giggle. The sound escapes until it becomes full-bodied laughter, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. Nick just watches you with a fond smile, shaking his head as he reaches out and thumbs a tear track created on your cheek. But you’re definitely not sad—you’re fucking invigorated. Eventually that melts into the occasional snicker, Nick pressing a kiss to your bruised knuckles before he joins you on the swing-set. 

“We’ll get you an ice pack or something cold to put on your hand before we leave.” 

You breathe in deeply, tipping your head back to look at the night sky. Rolling your legs forward, you use it as momentum to swing gently before holding onto the chains. Your legs are a bit too long to sweep under you, but you still sway. You’ve always loved swings—can’t remember the last time you were on one. 

Quiet settles between you and Nick, but it’s not uncomfortable, your gaze wandering over to him in his black t-shirt. Your reach out and thumb one of his many line tattoos, skin warm, your stomach bottoming out as you’re met with a very specific question that crawls up your throat. 

You need to know… “Why did you do this for me?” You ask softly, chewing on your lower lip, “The party, the fake date,” The kisses, “Just…all of it?” 

His eyes soften as they lock with yours, as if the answer is obvious, “There’s very little I wouldn’t do for you.” 

The way that sentence hits you is so overwhelming, it feels like you’re trying to hold the ocean in a glass. A shudder works down your spine that has nothing to do with the chill in the air. 

“You can’t say things like that to me.” You whisper. 

“Why?” Nick tilts his head, watching you carefully. 

“Because this…” You motion quickly between the two of you, “This is fake. This isn’t real.” That was the whole point, wasn’t it? 

You expect Nick to breeze past this conversation or maybe…get up from the swing, motion you should head back inside and find your friends, or leave the party entirely. But he does none of that, he just pushes his legs back and forth a little, moving the swing. The chain-links creak under his weight. 

“I think we both know that isn’t true.” 

And fuck, you do know that. You’ve felt it long before tonight but just…never knew how to act on it, never knew you could, never thought Nick would feel the same. Always the wrong time, wrong place. You’re not about to deny that tonight felt right, like two pieces finally figuring out where they connect. 

Evan hurt you, he made you reconsider how you approach anyone you might be interested in. He destroyed your trust and whittled away at your self-worth. 

Yet somehow, within one night, Nick’s managed to begin to heal that. Like he’s picked up the broken shards, regardless that they’re sharp enough to cut his hands, and began to glue them back together. You’re not completely healed, not yet—but maybe you can begin again. 

“So…your thought was…a fake date? That was the solution?” But your voice is warm, teasing. You know when Nick originally came up with his idea that he just wanted to help. And it did help you—it became a lot more than you ever thought it could. 

“Well when you put it that way.” He laughs a little, drawing his legs back to propel himself forward. 

You stick your one leg out, catching his ankle and hooking him closer until your swings tangle together. Practically eye level, he smiles at you. 

“What can I do to fix it?” Nick asks, as if he hasn’t spent the whole night attempting to fix splintered pieces that someone else left behind.

You were just teasing, but you love that he offers. You lean forward, brushing your noses together, “We go on a real date.” You nod—and then, “And you should kiss me.” 

No sooner are the words out of your mouth, he’s cupping your cheek and drawing your lips to his. Your eyes flutter closed and you lean into it, holding onto the chain of his swing, your leg wrapped around his. He tilts his head, deepening the kiss and a shiver once again slips down your spine. But it’s the same sensation as earlier in the night—kissing him feels like something you’ve done a hundred times. Like coming home. 

When Nick pulls back, he smiles, amusement flirting in his eyes and you feel like you’re really seeing him for the first time. And he sees you. That’s the realest thing you’ve felt in a long time. 

[disabilitymissunderstood]

Bro I breastfed my daughter for like a fucking WEEK! I had to stop because she stopped breathing like 2 fucking times, my boobs are to big to breastfeed AND she had health problems at the time. Meal prepping? Oh hunny everyone does that, I figured since I was a SINGLE HARDWORKING mother, that meal prepping was the easiest for me. I went weeks without eating just to be able to take care of my child, I had COUNTLESS SLEEPLESS nights just so my daughter has a dry diaper and warm food in her belly! I stopped being friends with my friends I had simply because they didn't understand that being a mom is more important then going to parties, or doing drugs, or fucking meeting with guys. You wanna call me a bad mom? Atleast my baby doesn't have to ever worry about when the next meal is, or if she'll ever have warm clothes.

You can tell parthena if she's got a problem with the way I DO shit stop being an ugly ass hoe that shows her tits on every fucking selfie to message me and we can have an adult conversation. All this could be avoided with communication instead *YOU* want to come off RUDE and be immature, we can play this game. But I so would hate to see you lose :)

You think it's funny to make in front of a dead man you don't know? Keep it up girl, it shows how heartless and immature you are. And yea he had maggets in his ears that's what happens when you've been dead for 17 years, jackass.

You think telling me you sitting on whatever the fuck his name is face bothers me? Girl I cringe. I laugh so hard over the fact YOU think I'm JEALOUS of YOU? OF HIM? bitch please get a clue. Perhaps get a fucking life? A hobby? I mean I could help you get a hobby if you need help!

Never claimed those candles I bought was mine that I made??

I do remember saying I plan on starting a candle business which are NOT the same thing girliepop!

But of course to you they are but whatever.

Again please stop being obsessed with my GORGEOUS daughter it's unsettling and it's showing pedo vibes, which of course doesn't suprise me one bit.

And I was emo back then. But who fucking cares? It's 2025, not 2012; grow the fuck up.

And I never copied anyone with the writing nor have I copied you-not that I would want too. I write pretty good but I absolutely don't need to prove ANYTHING to you because I know who I am and that's all that matters.

Getting your opinion Is like getting stepped in dog shit, stupid, worthless, and a waste of my fucking time.

I'm 25 I truly and utterly don't got time for your bullshit it's exhausting thank you for all the mean shit you've said, I know it'll make me a better and bigger person😘 keep being insecure

I LOVE my gorgeous body, I'm so sexy I TRULY love myself. Sorry you'll never experience that! I hope one day you can🙃

Btw I NEVER gave zach an STD and sweetheart he knows it too, I also have proof ;) but hehe thank u for the chuckle!

My life is awesome over here, to bad you can't just message me and apologize for coming at me so rudely I would've love to have a rational, mature, ADULT conversation. Cause I feel like we could be good friends IF you weren't rude.

People spread gossip and lies about everyone, especially those that they don't like.

I don't do that anymore, I ain't in highschool I'm a MOTHER, a daughter, a sister, a wife AND an ADULT.

We've all been through trauma and bullshit in life, and I'm sorry for whatever hurt you but it truly isn't my fault.

I also do go to theraphy and take meds cause I simply, and utterly WANT to be a better mama for MY child, because she DESERVES the best.

I'll keep eating my cake and enjoying MY life because I'm so glad I'm not with someone who made me feel worthless, ugly, starved me, LIED to me, and mentally and pyscially abused me, and cheated on me many times.

I admit I punched the hole in the wall but that's because he asked *ahem* a friend who was his but now MINE, for 5 FUCKING mins. She was there and she'll confirm it too.

I mean I was pissed off. I told him I was sorry and I'd pay to refix it but of course he didn't show you that now did he?

I'll never kill myself over you or him but keep harassing me and saying mean things to and about me. Your words DONT affect me.

It's beyond me, your level of obsession with ME is gross,

You wanna talk?

Message me

My phone number is 5076529432

But only text me if you're going to be nice and mature girliepop otherwise leave me and my brother and my daughter out of your mouth.

I will also take accountability on saying mean things to you, but girl you deserved some of them, aren't you glad I didn't misscarry? I know your goal is to get my happy healthy girl outta my custody but babygirl that won't happen because I'm a good FUCKING MOTHER.

Sad you never will be.

I will also not die unloved, kinda hard when I'm SO loved, I'm truly sorry you'll never experience that :/

And girl living in a section 8 housing and "living" off of government essistence mmm its not something I'm ashamed of

So thank you for your taxes sweetheart I'll make sure my daughter has EVERYTHING she needs ;) keep being pressed.

Anyways *yawn* I need coffee, I hope you take what I said to consideration and understand I'm not trying to be immature nor mean to you, I believe in "treat others the way they treat you" you treated me horrible so I treated you horrible back. But you see I don't wanna be that person anymore, especially for my daughter

It's not me, and I'd be dammed if my daughter gets bullied too.

So again, please stop harassing me. You leave me alone I'll leave you alone. You stop writing about me ill stop writing about you

I'm not scared of you, this isn't "omg she's serious I'm so scared!" Its

I'm tired, mentally and emotionally. I want to live a happy peaceful life with my child, so please I ask you kindly leave me alone.

Thank you

And have the day you deserve.

I truly hope one day you'll be kinder to the next person that crosses your path, because i know I will be.

I also want to mention: I'm glad he's got someone that loves him so deeply like that's awesome, even though he treated me horribly I still wish him the best, not for him but for me. I'm over him, I'm so passionately over him it's amazing. But I'm glad you're both happy together and I hope nothing but the best, you go live your life ill go live mine. But please stop accusing me of being "jealous" and "obsessive" of a man I forgot about the minute I got pregnant. I left his soul and existence back in 2023, you should do the same.

Congratulations on the engagement, hope you both have a happy healthy marriage.

[lance-space-mommy]

Break The Cycle

Being quirkless sucked ass.

Izuku was simply doing his best to survive in a world where people hated his existence. He honestly didn’t understand their obsession with his quirkless status. It wasn’t like he was a threat to them nor did his existence have any direct effect on them.

Maybe they were jealous that he got to avoid the entire hierarchy by naturally being at the bottom.

Having random people hate him wasn’t Izuku’s problem. He could easily say the unwanted hate was a reflection of the person insulting him rather than it being about him.

The problem Izuku had was how the people he knew and loved dumped him the instant he was quirkless. No matter how much time had passed or the knowledge he gained, he couldn’t understand why people gave quirks so much power.

After all, quirks were useless outside of mundane use and self-defense. If you wanted to use your quirk for a purpose, you needed a license.

Nobody in his life who used their quirk on him owned a license. All the people who gave up on him also didn’t own a license.

They were as worthless as he was.

Inko Midoriya left a trail of scars some of Izuku's worst bullies couldn't compete with.

Despite Inko being a stay-at-home mother and having a husband pay all the bills, she was the farthest thing from a mother. She was neglectful, emotionally abusive, and extremely narcissistic. It didn't help that nothing Izuku did was ever good enough.

No one at school knew that Aldera Junior High wasn't the only hell hole Izuku had to deal with.

It was a cold, but bright winter day. Izuku had just gotten situated in his seat when his three tormentors approached him. Most people would believe Izuku dreaded whenever they appeared, but he found them to be more of a comfort than anything else.

They were a constant in his life even if they called him names or purposefully tried to put him down. They always approached him first thing in the morning and during the school day's last moments.

They never physically attacked him or made him feel unsafe. If anything, their constant presence protected him.

During their first year at Aldera Junior High, some upperclassmen were a threat. No one got a chance to mess with Izuku because Katsuki, Hifumi, and Tejio were already "bullying" him.

"Hey, Deku! You look more sickly than usual," greeted Katsuki, the person Izuku had a hidden admiration for.

"Not a surprise a quirkless loser like you can't handle a little snow," teased Tejio, the guy with spiky teeth for a quirk. It became a habit for him to stick up his nose when it came to Izuku.

Hifumi, the bully with a long-finger quirk, didn't bother speaking. He was too busy typing on his phone. He recently hit it off with a girl and is busy trying to find out where she was in the school.

Izuku looked up at the three with a deep frown, not really having any motivation to give his usual sporadic response of rambles. Katsuki, as observant as ever, took note of the extreme change of attitude. While he was originally irritated, a part of him grew worried that Izuku wasn't just pale because he was cold, but rather because he had a cold.

Before Katsuki could make another remark, Izuku spoke up in a broken voice. "I... uh... I'm."

Katsuki froze, caught off guard by how weird Izuku was being. Hifumi was now paying attention, concerned about what was going on. Sure, he was an asshole and made an effort to ruin Izuku's day, but he knew something was wrong and they weren't the source of his distress.

"Well? I don't have all day," barked Katsuki, crossing his arms as he kicked the leg of Izuku's desk.

"I'm moving... today is my last day here," revealed Izuku in a quiet voice, shifting his gaze to the surface of his desk.

The news of the annoying, nerdy, quirkless kid should have made Katsuki, Hifumi, and Tejio jump in the air and celebrate. Yet, the three were stuck in place, staring at Izuku as they waited for him to say it was a joke.

In one instant, the three teens realized just how important Izuku was to them. It was a disgusting feeling, knowing they formed a strong bond with the person they claimed to hate. Suddenly, the person they'd had around since elementary was now leaving in less than twelve hours.

"Huh? Aunty Inko is really dragging you away?" questioned Katsuki, his sharp tone vanishing into something tamer.

Tejio nodded at Katsuki's question before he backed the blond up. "Not that I care, but this seems very last-minute."

Izuku rolled his top lip in and bit it for a moment, before popping his lips. Flicking his eyes up to the three, he let his fingers brush the soft edge of his notebook. "Yeah, it is pretty last minute, but family problems don't wait for anyone."

"Is someone dying?" asked Hifumi out of the blue. Tejio was quick to jab him in the ribs for asking a question like that so suddenly.

"No! No one is dying... it's just personal things," admitted Izuku, not planning on telling his peers that he was planning on running away.

Hifumi scoffed, rolling his eyes. "There is no way you're leaving because of us."

Izuku shook his head with a weak smile. "No, I'm not. If I was going to leave because of the school, I would have done it in between year change. Besides, I like how close this school is to home."

"So, what fucked up shit has you booking it out of here?" pressed Katsuki, knowing that digging for information was the last thing he should be doing. He didn't want to give off the impression that he was worried. Although, that concern wouldn't matter with Izuku moving away.

"I can't tell anyone about it. My mom doesn't want me talking about it," mumbled Izuku, trying to keep this conversation from reaching the ears of his other classmates. The fewer people that knew the better.

"Damn, it sounds serious," huffed Tejio, rubbing the back of his neck.

Izuku flashed a strained smile in response. "Let's just say it is."

As the school day continued, the harder it was for Katsuki to comprehend that Izuku was leaving. He's never known life without Izuku. Now he was expected to show up to school the following morning and stare at Izuku's empty desk.

The end of the day arrived and Izuku walked out the front doors without looking back. Katsuki watched Izuku walk away, letting the new wave of emotions fester inside him.

He wasn't going to chase Izuku or apologize at the last minute, but a part of him knew he'd regret it.

Hifumi let out a loud sigh before turning to look at Katsuki. "Damn. It's gross that I feel happy for him."

"No, I get where you're coming from. This place is kinda a shithole if you think about it," agreed Tejio, turning to Hifumi.

"I bet Deku snitched on us and his mom decided to just leave," scoffed Katsuki. At this point, he'd say anything to deflect and make himself feel better.

Izuku walked home, up the steps to the apartment, and sucked in a deep breath. This was it. This was going to be the last time he ever walked into his home.

It took weeks of sneaking around to find all his documentation and anything that truly belonged to him. Everything he was taking with him had to fit in his school bag and a small-sized duffle bag. He couldn't raise any suspicion considering he never knew which version of his mom he was going to be speaking to.

Best case scenario she was going to be neglectful and not even say goodbye to him on the way out.

Making his way to the door, Izuku called out to Inko. "Hey Mom, I'll be leaving now."

The sound of rushed footsteps caught his attention. Inko appeared at the end of the hall with a small smile. Tensing up out of fear his mother was in a good mood and was going to ask a bunch of questions, Izuku swallowed hard.

"Don't go for too long," chuckled Inko softly, extending out an arm as she approached. "Come back home right after school tomorrow."

Izuku pulled open the door, refusing to look Inko in the eye out of fear she'd sense something was wrong. "I will, I promise." It was quiet for a moment before Izuku felt a strong urge to say, "I love you."

Not expecting a response, Izuku gasped when Inko happily echoed, "I love you too. Take care."

Suddenly running away felt incredibly hard. He loved his mother and saw how she was struggling with being abandoned by her husband while being expected to raise a child alone.

Despite the part of him screaming to turn around, run into her arms, and sob… he knew he couldn’t. Within the next hour, she could be angry or detached. He was tired of always fearing his mother’s wrath.

Izuku made his way to the nearest train station and started his journey. He took train after train till he was at least 10 prefectures away from the city of Musutafu. Running on nothing but limited luck and hope for a better future, he made his way to a cafe.

He had looked up jobs in the region and found an incredible opportunity. As long as he worked full-time at the cafe, he would be able to stay in the apartment on the third floor. Of course, rent would automatically be taken out of his paycheck, but that wasn’t an issue.

Izuku wore a snow hat and a bushy scarf during his interview. That way his hair was completely covered as well as his freckles.

The owner was kind and gentle. It was clear she loved her job and simply needed an extra hand. Izuku was willing to be that person.

Thankfully, the woman was desperate so Izuku was given the green light to move in immediately and would start working the next morning. Without a single worry, he agreed.

After a box of black hair dye and some full-coverage foundation, Izuku happily made his way down into the closed cafe to sign documents.

Twenty-four hours passed and as the weight was lifted off Izuku’s shoulders, hell broke loose in a small region in Musutafu.

While Katsuki, Hifumi, and Tejio weren’t surprised to see Izuku was absent, the adults were. Before lunch arrived, news broke out that Izuku was missing. Inko was called regarding her son's absence. She tried calling him, but no response.

Inko called her best friend Mitsuki, the mother of Katsuki. Izuku had claimed he was spending the night only to never have shown up. According to Mitsuki, she was never alerted that Izuku was supposed to come over.

Katsuki felt like a bucket of ice water was poured over him at the news. He lied to Katsuki, Hifumi, and Tejio about moving. Izuku most definitely ran away. He couldn’t be sure he wasn’t the cause of it, but he figured Inko was part of the reason.

Last-minute. Family issues. Serious. Inko doesn’t want him talking about it.

Something was fishy about the situation.

It wouldn’t be until five long years later that Katsuki would meet Izuku again. Katsuki was supposed to go on a business trip despite being the number one hero. He was going to be a representative for the Hero Agency as some of the people working on support gear really wanted to work with this Hero Support Department.

All he knew was that was underground, but ridiculously good.

Much to Katsuki’s surprise, the Hero Support building was huge. If his coworkers said that this business was underground, then they were still beyond successful.

Marching into the elevator where he was to be taken to the top floor. He enjoyed not being hounded by the people rushing around. It was clear they prioritized their work over getting an autograph from a famous hero.

When the doors slid open, Katsuki was met with a pretty basic floor plan. On one side of the floor was the office while on the other was the workroom for Support gear.

Assuming the largest office belonged to the owner, Katsuki entered calmly. The last thing Katsuki expected to see was Izuku standing by the windows lining the room.

“Holy shit. Izuku?”

Izuku’s head whipped around, staring at Katsuki. “Kacchan?

Katsuki, in his hero suit and all, raced over to Izuku. Izuku already felt the tears of relief form in his eyes as his chest was filled with uncontrollable emotions. Katsuki pulled Izuku close, crushing him in a hug.

With close to no hesitation, Izuku wrapped his arms around Katsuki and cried. He spent so many years alone trying to navigate the hero world alone. Just being reminded that there was someone who missed him and was happy to see him brought Izuku such joy.

“What the hell Nerd?” croaked Katsuki, pulling back to look at Midoriya’s face.

“I’m sorry, Kacchan,” sighed Izuku softly, looking up at Bakugo with a guilty frown.

Katsuki shook his head, raising a hand to rest against his forehead. “One day you say you're leaving because of family problems and the next you’re reported missing. Do you have any idea how fucking insane that is?”

Izuku nodded stiffly. Katsuki noted that the nodding was less meant for him and more toward Izuku himself. Izuku stepped back to lean on his desk. “It was insane. I was the one who lived it. I couldn’t risk anyone finding out about my plans to run away. I had no intention of ever returning if you couldn’t tell.”

“I got the memo. But still, your mother was devastated… I can’t imagine why you’d leave her without even a note,” stated Katsuki gently despite the rasp in his voice.

Shaking his head, Izuku let it fall forward as a pain-filled smile spread across his face. “Kacchan. She’s the reason I ran away.”

Within a matter of seconds, Katsuki’s world was flipped upside down. Despite his initial suspicion of Inko being involved in the disappearance of Izuku, she had flawlessly manipulated him into a false sense of security. She claimed that Izuku hadn’t been acting any different, that she was happy he was getting out more, and a plethora of sappy mom crap he truly couldn’t have cared less about.

In the end, Inko was the reason. All those days she cried and begged for someone to find her son; she was the reason he was gone. The countless times she was over at their place for dinner, rambling on about Izuku and how incredible he was, she drove him away. Inko played the victim so well and that said everything Katsuki needed to know.

As Katsuki processed the information and the past years without Izuku and his interactions with Inko, Izuku watched. Fierce green eyes lasered in on Katsuki’s expression as the truth sunk in. It was relieving to see that Katsuki instantly trusted him.

“Damn.”

“Yeah…”

Katsuki kicked an imaginary stone before meeting Izuku’s gaze. “So… what did she do? Where did you go? How’d you end up here?”

Izuku smiled, walking to the glass windows lining the room. “She was sometimes good, but she was an extreme narcissist at heart. She was neglectful in all ways you could think of and without fail… every day, she was emotionally abusive.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone? You know Aunty would have helped,” pointed out Bakugo. While he wasn’t necessarily trying to victim-blame Midoriya, he wanted to know why Midoriya hadn’t reached out to outlets he had before making such a serious choice.

Stepping back to turn around and face Katsuki again, Izuku scowled. “I’m sorry, but do you have no idea how dumb you sound right now?”

Gawking in disbelief, Katsuki crossed his arms in defense. “Fucking excuse me? That’s a very good question to ask considering you chose to run away without letting anyone know instead of trying to get help if you were in a bad situation.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Izuku shook his head. “I don’t think you are listening to me. I just told you Inko was a narcissist. If I were to reach out to Mitsuki for help, she would confront my mom, and the entire problem would somehow be my fault in the end. If Mitsuki somehow wasn’t fooled, I’d still be forced to come back home and that was the last thing I wanted to happen.”

“Shit… sorry. It’s just I don’t understand how you just decided to leave everything behind,” clarified Katsuki slowly, raising his shameful head to meet Izuku’s disappointed gaze.

There was a heavy atmosphere in the room, but Izuku and Katsuki weren’t about to walk away from the conversation without figuring things out.

Deflating after letting thirty long seconds of silence pass, Izuku stressed, “It was for the best. Being at home was a nightmare and I needed to get out. Trying to survive in the world as a quirkless teen was far less scary than the idea of being under the same roof as Inko for another moment.”

Katsuki nodded slowly, stepping toward Izuku to reach for his hand. As soon as his large soft fingers linked with Izuku's small rough ones, he tightened his grip. “I’m sorry. You deserved better. I bet it wasn’t an easy decision to make and I know you had to work your ass off to get to this point. Fuck Inko and the shit she did to you, it’s clear you didn’t need to stick around to achieve greatness.”

Lip wobbling and glassy-eyed, Izuku sniffled as he squeezed Katsuki’s hand back. “Thank you, Kacchan. It was hard… leaving you behind. I wanted to tell you—I really did, I just couldn’t risk it.”

“You don’t have to apologize for keeping yourself safe idiot,” chastised Katsuki fondly, lowering his head to focus on the small changes in Izuku’s mature features.

“Right,” croaked Izuku, doing his best to not flood his office with tears. “I worked at a coffee shop full time and lived in an apartment on top of the cafe. I had a good paycheck, a place to live, and I was able to use all my free time to finish my schooling online. Once I graduated, I just started climbing the social ladder while doing countless programs in the hero support gear field.”

Katsuki grinned, letting go of Izuku’s hand to rest both hands on his hips. “Not surprised a nerd like you was able to pull all of this off. Still, I’m not planning on letting you disappear on me again.”

Izuku quickly wiped his face before running his fingers through his hair. “Likewise. We will be business partners after all.”

“Huh? You mean you’re accepting my agency's request to have our hero gear produced solely by your department?” quizzed Katsuki, eagerly. While he was more than thrilled to see Izuku again and know that the missing piece of him was no longer missing, he really did want the best for his hero agency and all the heroes working with him.

“Of course! While I do have favorites and you are one of them, I’d never turn down work proposals!” cheered Izuku quickly as he made his way to his desk where stacks of papers were sitting.

“Hell yeah!”

“But just know I’m still expecting compensation for a decade of your bullying,” teased Izuku, raising a contract with a devilish smile.

Shivering with a manic smirk on his face, Katsuki enthusiastically snatched the paper from Izuku. “Sign me up.”

[kokoqvx0]

Okay so like here are some sukuna hcs :3

I'm drooling over this mf too much and I'm bored asf, so have fun and read to your hearts content!!

POV: Sukuna hates your ass, but he found you interesting and kept you around, and now he's basically an iPad kid, and your the iPad. (It's late idk why this is funny)

SFW

- Calls you cute pet names instead or your actual name since he met you!

Dumb female, woman, worthless trash, trashy female, maggot (how lovely!!)

To..

(Wretchedly adorable disgustingly beautiful woman/j, little bunny, brat, my weakling)

Not really into cute cheesy stuff so he either keeps it mean or simple, maybe sometimes cute.

- when he met you, you either had to have some good stories to tell him or an interesting personality, or else he probably would've ignored u or killed you tbh.

- he doesn't like to admit it, but he loves to listen to you talk, and converse with you when he's bored.

- whether you know how to cook or not, he doesn't care that much.. (he has uruame or wtv) but if u do know how then that's a wonderful bonus!

- he'd play board games with you, or any kind of games if he was really bored.. (also wanted something to be good at and beat you with) if he looses he'll probably just fight you one on one to remind you who's better in general

- when he goes out destroying villages and killing people, he brings you back expensive souvenirs before leaving. Once he saw a woman with beautiful clothing, he thought it would look good on you, so after he killed everyone he took it and gifted it to you! :3

- doesn't care so much about the dating stuff, if he has you around so much then your already his, so why put a status on it?

- I don't think he would marry.. but if he ended up being madly in love with you or had some sort of admiration towards you, he would just get a ring and put it on you, say your mine/my queen forever and be done with it

- he actually secretly loves when you want to cuddle him from time to time.. he likes your warmth while he puts his huge 4 arms around you and cradle you

- jealous? Sure, possessive? Definitely, this guy will not tolerate other men getting close to you. If they talk with you, he'll be pissed sure, but he knows you won't actually get to close, but touch you? Flirt? Yeah, they're dead.

- loves squeezing your thighs/belly, anything he can get his hands on, not even sexually sometimes, he just wants to feel you (calms him down sometimes)

- when you annoy him too much, he rolls his eyes and flicks your head or arm playfully, then tells you to leave him alone for now. If you get sad about it he'll probably get more mad and just pull you into his arms and squeeze you, "whatever, sorry you sensitive weakling.." kisses you and let's u annoy him for a bit longer

- loves to eat, whenever he's hungry he likes to eat and talk with you sometimes, mostly listen to you talk. He stuffs your mouth with some cow meat or something because he thinks your face looks cute stuffed. If your a vegetarian, he'd probably roll his eyes once you told him and tell you how you would not like meat. (Shows up with a whole farm worth of fruits and veggies to get uruame to make a custom meal for you)

NSFW

-when yall fuckin, he definitely degrades and groans real loud tbh.

- names like, slut, my little cumdump, whore, and all those nasty names come up

-he def has a breeding kink

- loves to mark you, biting everywhere he can, scratching, just to wake up the next morning and see you covered with his love marks is so satisfying to him

- when you get too tired, he stops after a bit and lays down beside you for you to sleep in his arms, if he's still not satisfied he'd probably be pissed but it's alr there's always tomorrow

- he's big, hella girthy too I must say

- he loves missionary or mating press the most, the look on ur face makes him feel even more powerful and when you ride him it's even better seeing you struggle to take him

- spanking goes crazy tbh, loves hearing your yelps and whines when he spanks too hard

- he's so good at eating you out, like seriously, way too good. He doesn't even bother looking up at you most times, too focused on your taste and sounds you make when he gets too rough on eating that shi out 💯

Alr I'm too tired for more but if you have any characters u want me to do go ahead and comment em!! Sorry if this was bad I was half passed out but I'll do better trust, goodnight!

[monstercampus]

Ellie help I have werewolf brain rot and Kirk has been living in my mind rent free the past few nights 😩 please tell me more about him, does he have a secret soft side or is being mean his love language and you know he cares about you if he's giving you a hard time? Why does he live in a dorm by himself? Where is he on the possessive scale? Honestly just tell me everything you know about him so I can simp to the best of my ability 🥺😫🙏

And actually while I'm here, anything about Elliott or Julian would also be tasty 👀👀👀 forgive me for the werewolf team fic altered my brain chemistry and I may never be the same

absolutely !! !!!!! i am at your mercy uwu <33 (this is mostly stream of consciousness so if u want more i am READY)

(cws: kirk being a sap + lore)

Kirk is very much that way--giving you a hard time is generally how he shows he cares about you. He's only truly mean to those he doesn't care about, and trust that there is a difference even when you get frustrated over his attitude in the beginning. He didn't grow up with a lot of love in his household so it's really not his area of expertise, he never really learned how to show it and only started experiencing affection when he joined the pack and made friends with all the other werewolves. Being snuggled, having his hair stroked instead of pulled, listening to his friends talk about him being handsome and smart even if he's got a shitty attitude.....it's weird to him. He doesn't hate it deep down, but he hates how it makes him feel vulnerable when he doesn't want to be.

'Vulnerable' is barely even in his vocabulary, which is why he comes at you with so much heat at first. He'd been hoping and praying that you two could boink, have a good time, and then you would pretend like it never happened so he wouldn't have to face any of those feelings he has when he looks at you. But when you don't, and when you're just so sweet, Kirk can't handle it and has to revert to what he knows: being a dick. Not nearly to the extent of how he is with other people, but just enough to keep you at arm's length in his constant fear that you're gonna end up making him feel like he isn't totally worthless. Because what would he do then? He's accepted the role of being an irredeemable, raging douchebag for pretty much all his life. He's got an attitude, his temper is awful, he doesn't consider himself that good-looking, he's got some of the worst grades out of the whole pack, he fixates on things and lets them consume all his thoughts, and he hasn't even got any palate to boot and will eat just about anything, even if it's on the verge of spoiling. He's total garbage and he's friends with a pack of people that couldn't be more perfect; Julian is incredibly charming, Portia's practically a genius, Nick is insanely handsome, Elliott is so gentle and really funny, Priam is a total sweetheart and Athos is the pinnacle of cool in his eyes. How could he even think of measuring up to all that, much less stick out among the rest and prove he's worth even a little bit of your love?

That may be the most frustrating part about Kirk--he can be the prickliest guy you know and he would die before he ever says those things out loud, but he seriously admires his friends and you yet he has little to no belief in himself. Granted, growing up he would've gotten his ass beat for showing that kind of weakness, so it's still deeply ingrained in him as an adult--especially since the pack are pretty much the first friends he's ever made on his own. And at his core, he's jealous. Jealous of them and their nice families, jealous of how well they all turned out despite going through their own struggles, jealous of how easy it is for them to be open when he's terrified of people finding out he's bi, jealous of you for being so brave and so beautiful in equal measure....so that's why the best thing he can do--in his own opinion of course--is to be your collective guard dog.

After all, Kirk isn't afraid to bite. His instincts are hard to control in his human form, could you even imagine how feral he can get when he's full wolf, or even just close to the full moon? If anything it's what he's good at; hunting, beating ass, and taking a punch. If he can't be as good as you and the others deserve, the least he can do is make sure that sweetness and the goodness of your souls isn't ever dominated by someone else. He'll spill blood, he doesn't care. He would even get suspended if it came to that, expelled, arrested, whatever it takes and he'll let the chips fall where they may. You'll know his love for you is real when he starts acting protective over you, not only when other people try to bother you but as far as your daily needs as well. Have you eaten properly? Are you thirsty? Do you need to sleep? When's the last time you stretched? He acts like it's a favour he's doing for you, like you're a little wolf that needs caring after, but in truth it settles his own self-doubts and makes him happier knowing that he's doing something for you--that he's taking care of you like a mate would, and when you smile at him or thank him for his help he just melts. He would do anything to keep hold of that smile.

.....Which is why he's got a plan in his head for after graduation. He and Nick are the oldest and thus are going to graduate first of all of you, so once that's over and done with he's got plans to start building a place for you all to properly call 'home'. It's nothing crazy--just a cabin in the woods--but if there's one thing he can confidently say he's good at it's woodworking, and he's sketched out the designs to make it everything you could ever want.

Personal rooms for you, him, and Portia who has trouble falling asleep when it's noisy. A big living room with enough sofas to fit you all. Polished oak walls like Julian grew up with and always wanted to see again. A bathtub big enough to fit Nicky's giant, muscly legs without spilling over. Tables and chairs to fit everyone and more, to fit all the family gatherings and maybe even the pups you might have one day. A garden out back where he'll plant those ugly little flowers Elliott loves. Trees and greenery around where they can run and hunt and play during the full moon, totally obscured by the rest of the world. A big fucking chandelier in the dining room to intimidate any friends you bring over that think they're hot enough shit to snatch you. It's gonna be perfect, it's gonna be the one thing he can say he's proud of in practically his whole life. It'll be a gift to all of you for putting up with his assholery for so damn long, for sticking with him even when he couldn't find a single reason why you should.

That's the kind of love Kirk shows. Words don't mean much to him--actions and acts of service are how he expresses his affections, because it's much simpler for him to put work into something he can touch and measure and paint rather than throw some flimsy words around and call it love. Plus, one of the reasons why he lives in his own dorm is because his downtime is incredibly important to him. Usually he would request a private one-bedroom apartment, but this year he was assigned roommates that he very quickly drove away with his annoying habits almost entirely on purpose. If he's not comfortable with someone, then like hell is he going to share an intimate living space with them--and after a long day he just needs time to be completely alone. He has to think, work on his projects, exercise, chew on something, and have no prying eyes around that will impede his progress in trying to figure out how the hell he can try to make himself worthy of being loved by you. A dumb, violent wolf reaching to grab the very moon from the sky.

[im-out-of-it]

extra bonus of season 2, episode 8 continued ALEC THATS THE WHOLE POST “love is a devil”

I’m going off

210. yeah, maybe let’s see- treat Alec better clary, that would be nice. Magnus is the only one who seems concerned that Alec tried to take his life

LOOK AT THAT FLUFFY ASS PERFECT HAIR IT LOOKS SO NICE AND SOFT AND BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT

also Izzy (kind of sad we only get a second of her here after everything she dealt with. and isn’t it crazy that Izzy is the only one who wasn’t affected? but she is addicted to yin fein so girl has been through plenty)

211. Jace: which means I’m not letting you out of my sight. ew major red flag 🚩 I’m going to need an Advil after this episode is over

212. as Alec’s parabatai, it is on jace to be there for Alec. but see, that’s the problem with the parabatai bond with them. it’s only relevant when jace needs something. how is it that Alec can always feel something is off with Jace but he never feels that for Alec? that’s on CC but the show should’ve handled that better. Alec and Magnus and Izzy are obviously the stars of the show but there is so much more that they could’ve done for Alec and how he is treated

213. this just doesn’t seem enough for me. Alec helped you try to get your mom back, which ended up you almost getting pregnant clary, he’s constantly apologizing, and almost took his life so from the way I see it, clary fucking owes Alec and that’s not adding all the other times he saved her worthless ass. ALEC DID NOT HAVE ANY CONTROL CONSENT WILLPOWER WHEN A DEMON INCORPORATED HIS BODY. this honestly feels like a whole Alec and clary don’t get along but let’s make Alec do the worst possible thing so they can be friends now. get the fuck out of here, not everyone has to worship clary. I certainly don’t and I certainly don’t fucking like her or will ever tolerate her

214. ending thoughts: I know I bring up Alec’s pain the most, it’s because he never seems to recover and is constantly going through it. and he and Magnus are my fucking favs. besides Magnus, Maia, Raphael, simon- alec goes through some of the worst shit possible. and I’ve added it onto a post about everything alec and Magnus (plus thomastair) deal with because it’s an outrageous amount. of all the fears clary has, it’s Simon being unfaithful? seriously? how about all the shit she pulled in the first season? I would have liked to see her fears about how she has treated everyone and what she thinks Alec and Izzy think of her. you know, they could’ve given clary some actual growth but they were like nah, let’s make her almost as insufferable as book clary. or if they didn’t want to make it about Alec r Izzy, how about the fact that she lost her mom for a while and found out she lied all clary’s life and then suddenly died? people die and that’s life but of all things, she worries Simon is cheating?

and same goes for jace. I get he has conflicting views with Maryse and that was a good vision but it would have been nice to see his insecurity with alec. is jace ever jealous of alec? does he hate how he treats alec? is he aware of that? (probably not because he’s self centered) but it would have been nice to see some growth with the treatment of alec from clary and jace. I’m so fucking bloody sick of the parabatai bond only meaning something when jace needs Alec to save him again. Jace doesn’t protect Alec- that whole “I’ll always protect him but while trying to accomplish an interrogation to Magnus was the dumbest attempt he made. since the first episode, jace has been putting Alec through the ringer and I’ve not once seen jace actually go above and beyond to protect Alec. this parabatai bond means absolutely nothing.

Izzy didn’t need one because she’s going through yin fein addiction so we will let her have that so let’s call it a day

215. but also this episode has so much content in just 45 minutes. Alec makes it clear that Magnus isn’t going away and he wants everyone to know how much he adores magnus. Jace hilariously tried to question Magnus and Alec’s relationship as if that’s any of his business and as if he ever carried about Alec. HE DOES NOT and you can’t prove that jace cares about Alec.

Magnus plans this party for alec and then has to deal with Iris, jace and clary bullshit, the love of his life almost dying, Maryse being a cunt, max thinking the worst of him, the poor man goes through it all. Alec almost takes his life and mags seems to be the only one who cares after it’s all done and finished. I never once see jace actually talk to him about it and clary saying “I don’t blame you” just doesn’t seem to be enough especially after all she has done to him and his family.

we find out that max is now a certified shadowhunter and that low scum Robert is cheating on Maryse and that’s why she’s been such a bloody cunt lately. Maryse is still treating Magnus like shit and doesn’t show any appreciation that Magnus saved Alec or any concern that Alec just tried taking his life. oh and the whole stupid I can destroy the sword jace and I can create runes clary bullshit. and it still amazes me how okay everyone is about how jace hid the fate of the downworld from the downworlders. no wonder they fucking retaliate after. I would be hella mad if my family was murdered because of jaces stupidity and he’s walking around as if he didn’t do anything wrong. but all in all, it’s a very good episode and honestly one of my top ten favs but I think it’s poorly executed.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO INCLUDE TRAUMA WRITE IT WELL (and I’m not saying that the show didn’t do Alec and Magnus justice because they did but there is so much that could have been changed for the better) but still a top notch episode and I would give it a 6 on my bitchfest scale

and some extra gifs and others pertaining to my annoyance of CLACE:

me to Alec all first season: 😭

but at least show Malec remains superior

okay okay okay 215 was the number and that is the highest I’ve had so far!!!!!!!! I’ll try to do the next episode probably tomorrow (maybe) but thank you for joining please stop hurting Alec and Magnus and ew rid of CLACE once and for all bitchfest debate discussion post. this was a heavy one and it contained 15 parts!!!!!!! the longest by far but it’s not my fault if I have many opinions but see y’all soon for the next one

[aleksanderscult]

Part 2 of Aleksander Morozova being a jealous bitch

So. We already covered most of the Darkling's jealous moments from "Shadow and Bone" (hehehe, it was fun) and now this is the rest. I had so much fun doing these as well.

(Here's part 1, part 3, part 4, part 5 and the bonus content in case someone missed them)

Grab your popcorn people and let's dive in! 🍿

It's not a jealous moment, I know 😭 (Actually it's the result of it). But he's so emotionally done and drained he needs a therapist ASAP. Our boy has turned to drinking to deal with the pain of Alina abandoning him, no longer loving him, loving someone else AND most importantly one of his greatest dreams (finding the stag, giving the colar to Alina and using it to enter and control the Fold) is no longer a victory. He's not celebrating anything. He just stands there sulking with a bottle of kvas beside him. He wanted her to be on his side willingly. To do this together. And now his dream, his long-awaited victory went puff.

Oh! By the way, he's not drunk here. Leigh has confirmed it and her explanation makes sense:

Again. Not exactly a jealousy scene but it would be foolish to leave it aside.

He is so good at reading people. But also he tries so hard here to make her talk to him. He's like "Speak to me. Start talking". He brought her all the way to his tent where he's having an emotional breakdown (he could have hidden this part of himself, this vulnerable and broken scene of him, but he lets her see him this way) to make her explain to him why she did what she did. Why did she run? Why did she believe Baghra that everything was a lie (even his feelings for her)? Did she stop to think what her loss, her abandonment would mean for him (I love that last line of his and I'm gonna make a post about it in the future)? And he's using an obvious threat towards Mal's life to make her talk. He knows Mal is the only thing that can arouse her attention to him. Boy, isn't he desperate for her attention. Her explanations.

I CAN'T 😭

He's so like: "I gave you power, strength, encouraged you and supported you and you chose a freaking tRaCkEr??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??"

"... keep house for your tracker." HE'S SO SARCASTIC PLEASE-

Also, he seems genuinely surprised at the lengths Alina would go for Mal. She's willing to see him exiled from Ravka if that means that she can join him too.

Literally the Darkling with Alina's way of thinking here:

First of all, he's right.

Second of all, he literally doesn't give two fucks about Mal 😭😭

(Again the scorn and sarcasm here😚👌)

For him, he's worthless, unworthy of attention, another passing otkazat'sya but he's still important to Alina (a huge fucking inconvenience in other words).

Btw, is it me or does he sound a little hurt, a little annoyed that Alina doesn't care that he betrayed him? And that she only cares for Mal? And not for him. Just for Mal.🙃 Like "you don't even care how I feel about it. The only thoughts you have are about him (okay gonna shut up now).

AGAIN, he tries to force her to talk to him. He is losing control of his emotions, the whole betrayal and jealousy situation makes him crazy and that's why here he tries to regain control. Do you remember what Leigh said before? That the Darkling doesn't like being out of control? Yep! We see it here, clear as day. He hates it. And he seems desperate to regain it. So he makes her beg.

(and the fury he has and lets out through a painful grip. He is INCAPABLE of tolerating the reality that Alina loves Mal more than him.)

Also, are you really sure you want to know how much she loves him, Aleks boy?? 'Cause I think the honest answer would make you drink five more bottles of kvas😭

The fact that he wants to make sure that she will witness his death.

It gives such strong vibes of "I'll kill that asshole and I want you to be there to see it".

I mean he definitely does it 'cause he's a traitor and deserter but there's also so much bottled resentment. He could have hanged him, shoot him in a corner or stab him and that would be the end of that. But no, he has a special punishment for him 'cause there are personal feelings here. A punishment that Alina must witness.

Dark jealousy here indeed.

So here's part two of Aleksander being done with Mal, Alina, his feral feelings and the world. On part three I'll analyse his salty "Siege and Storm" moments (some of the most iconic lie there).

[chaztalk]

It’s been long overdue, so here’s my anime rankings from this past winter season (from worst to best):

20. Beheneko: The Elf-Girl's Cat is Secretly an S-Ranked Monster!

Worst anime I watched all season. The animation was bad. The villains were generic. Girls were down bad for a cat. But the thing that bothered me the most about this anime is that the girls wore armor that only covered 5%-10% of their body.

19. I'm Living With a Otaku NEET Kunoichi?!

This was just weird, cringe, and boring for the most part

18. Unnamed Memory Season 2

One of the most boring anime I’ve ever watched. Season 1 was alright, but season 2? The plot was all over the place and hard to follow.

17. I Want to Escape from Princess Lessons

I didn’t like this one. People say it’s wholesome but not to me. Main girl was forced to take princess lessons, imprisoned in the castle, tries to escape several times. And everyone wants her to be with the prince so her ending up with him feels forced which takes away the wholesomeness and genuineness of love. The animation was also weird.

16. Anyway, I'm Falling in Love with You.

Another anime that was pretty boring and the animation was pretty bad. It’s only this high up because of the OP.

15. Medaka Kuroiwa is Impervious to My Charms

I despise this anime. The main pairing is so ass it’s unbelievable. Medaka has 0 personality and Mona is annoying af cuz she’s insanely full of herself. Asahi deserves better.

14. I'm Getting Married to a Girl I Hate in My Class

This had some promise but did that take towards the end. Ig actually took a downward spiral when the sister was introduced. And then the main girl’s best friend went out with the main guy, making her jealous. I hate when jealousy is the main contributor for someone realizing they have feelings for someone else. It’s just such a tiring trope.

13. I’m a Noble on the Brink of Ruin, So I Might as Well Try Mastering Magic

This is just straight up mid. It’s not bad, it’s not good either. It’s simply about a kid OP in magic creating his own civilization

12. Zenshu

Overrated anime of the season. Mappa cooked with the unique animation and all, but the story/plot was just “meh”

11. My Happy Marriage Season 2

Honestly don’t remember much from this season other than Kiyoko’s mother being a bitch to Miyo and kinda warming up to her by the end

10. Honey Lemon Soda

I kinda liked this. Although, this kind of trope in Shoujo is way too overdone

9. I Have a Crush at Work

This was alright. I was more invested in secondary pairing than the already established one, but that’s just me.

8. OKITSURA: Fell in Love with an Okinawan Girl, but I Just Wish I Know What She's Saying

Cute little romcom with educational bits about Okinawa culture. But I don’t know if it’s an advertisement for tourists in Okinawa or a warning to them

7. I May Be a Guild Receptionist, but I’ll Solo Any Boss to Clock Out on Time

This anime grows on you the more you get into the story.

6. Even Given the Worthless “Appraiser” Class, I’m Actually the Strongest

Underrated anime of the season. It’s a harem anime which not a lot of people will like. But for a generic long-ass-name anime, the anime wasn’t bad, I liked the OP, and it’s a good underdog story.

5. The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You Season 2

I do think this is an overrated series, but the comedy/absurdity has its charm.

4. Tying the Knot with an Amagami Sister

Anime can be so much better when they are either given 20+ episodes a season or 2 cours. This is a prime example that.

3. Welcome to Japan, Ms. Elf

The better of the 2 adult romances. There’s something about someone from another world getting a tour/introduced to earth that I like.

2. Solo Leveling Season 2

Overrated as hell. Not deep at all, all jinwoo does is aura farm, but I can’t lie and say this wasn’t one of the most entertaining anime of the season

1. Blue Box

Hands down, #1. I’m def glaze this anime as my #1 cuz it’s the only anime I’m ahead of with the manga. It checks off so many of my boxes: combining sports and romance, cohabitation, slow burn, a 2nd season.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello! Hello! Can I have a Bungo Stray Dogs, MHA ans Haikyuu matchup?

Here is my information!

Name: Anna Lee

Pronouns: She/her

Preference: Male

Age range: Any

Personality: I am an INTJ Slytherclaw, Aquarius and a Type 6 when it comes to anagrams. Lawfully Neutral. I am a huge overthinker and stress a lot with anxiety. People tell me that I can be blunt which results in people thinking that I can be cold but in reality I try to be a kind person when it is needed. I am a realist and many consider me to be intelligent, often asking me to help with their work. I’m incredibly passionate about things I like to do and have a thirst to know everyone’s opinions as I feel that if someone is left out. I’m a creative person but sometimes my brain just goes blank, I hate when it does. I have a really dry sense of humour that usually is a mix of sarcasm, fandom jokes or self degrading jokes. I'm an extremely stubborn person and have to be right about everything. From a young age, my parents were extremely strict and had expected the best out of me which resulted in me being an overachiever. I have to get things perfect or be the best at what I’m doing. I'm really sensitive, even some small harsh words are enough to make me teary. I’ve been called a crybaby because of that and to be honest, that is true. I give too much to other people since I’m afraid of saying no since what if they hate me? And I'm too scared to ask for help or to have something cause I think they will think I'm selfish and worthless. Not the best self esteem 😔 I love to listen to other people since I think not a lot of people have others that they can tell what they wish to say without getting judged or outcasted. But the problem is that I judge too easily too. As much as I want to show a good image to others and help them, I tend to focus on my own needs and how everything can affect me for the better or worse. I hate repeating things, especially in front of a big crowd. I daydream too much. When I get excited, I speak really quickly and stumble over my words which I get embarrassed by and stop talking. I am very sensitive, especially when it comes to my appearance and personality. I’m always afraid that people are constantly judging me or hate me, which is why I tend to avoid public spaces or being around people in general. When I get familiar with someone or a crowd, I’m not that afraid to state my opinion. I get jealous and possessive easily, like I mentioned my parents are strict meaning I got very few things of my own and those things only came to me because I tried so hard to get it. So when I see someone else with it, it just irks me off. I always make plans but I know I’m not going to complete them, I just like to imagine the future if I actually had motivation and energy to accomplish things. I can never start new things while completing old ones. I am also the oldest child and have 4 younger ones, another reason why I stress too much. I don’t think I mentioned this, but I get angry really easily. The slightest mistakes just pisses me off. I suck at short talks and starting conversations, it’s much easier to have lengthier conversations. I can never do presentations, I always get too nervous. Plus, my friends say my voice is really soft so no one ever hears me much, especially since I’m uncomfortable. When I get angry, my judgement is clouded. I am terrible at holding grudges. I would be upset at someone but the second I see them again, I feel normal and happy in a way. Probably said this before, but I’m a huge day dreamer and stubborn. I can’t concentrate on my work because I always get distracted and daydream about things I will never have. I normally appear composed but have a fiery temper. I really want to be a lawyer. My parents never let me use the internet much as a kid so I pretty much live under a rock but I am incredibly book smart. 

Looks: Half-Korean and Half- White. I’m slightly chubby and curvy with a pear-shaped body (Double D cups). Upon seeing me, many people point out my eyes which are hazel with slight flecks of many colours such as green and amber being the prominent ones. Almond eyes that are doe-like and slightly turn up at the end but barely noticeable. I have a button nose and thin heart shaped lips. My face is round and my eye shape is almond. I am approximately 5’3. Two small moles are fixated on my right cheek and underneath my lip. Long dark brown hair that almost appears black but that solely depends on the lighting. My hair reaches my hips and is kinda wispy at the end. It’s usually on a ponytail with a few strands framing my face. My clothing style tends to be anything comfortable and classy. I prefer to wear black and colours that are darker, you will never find me wearing orange or neon colours. 

Likes: Chocolate, Anime, Music, Food, Being right about something, Reading, Drawing, Strawberries, Smell of Rain, Sleeping, Being the Best, Baking and cooking (even tho I’m not that good at it)  Daydreaming, Murder Mysteries, Romance, Long walks, Making Ocs,  Fiction, Name hunting, Suits, Me, Pinterest, Spicy food, Sweets, Lavender and Indicolite, Aesthetics, and Flower Languages.

Dislike: Loud noises, Jerks, Prejudice People, Slow Walkers, People who chew loudly, Getting look down on, Insects, Studying, Fake People, Self-pity, Getting below 90% in a test, Snow, Overlysweet things, Going outside, and the feeling where your brain is blank and can’t tell what you feel like, Doing nothing all day and Tomatoes

Love Language: Physical Touch and Quality Time

Ideal Type: Pretty Eyes. Will always be there for me and not afraid to speak their mind. Honest and loyal. Someone I can call her best friend, I can be weird around them and they won’t mind at all,Yet they would still help me see the light at the end of the tunnel and tell me it’s okay, that everything is gonna be okay. I wouldn’t like ‘innocent’ people nor ‘kind’ people cause I feel like I won’t be able to connect with them based on my morality level. Will be attentive to my needs. Not necessarily loud but not quite, somewhere in between. I want someone who I can feel okay around, as if everything was fine. Someone who would help carry a burden with me, we are together in everything. A type of person who would wait for me when I’m tying my shoelaces. 

Hi Anna! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like your matchups!

In Bungo Stray Dogs, I match you with...

Someone attentive, helpful, and who speaks their mind no matter what? Yep, that’s Kunikida in a nutshell.

He admires your intelligence, your tendency to overthink and your bluntness. It’s a nice change of pace since he's surrounded by…well, the Armed Detective Agency. No more needs to be said.

Loves reading murder mysteries with you. Sure, Kunikida works solving real life mysteries but it's nice being able to work through a problem without the stakes being real world life or death.

There's no need to worry about having nothing to do with him around. He's always busy either with work or personal things and is more than happy for you to tag along and help out.

Kunikida likes going on long walks with you when he has the time. They might get cut short sometimes due to his busy schedule but he'll always do his best to make time for you.

In My Hero Academia, I match you with...

Someone honest, not all that kind, but willing to be there for you when you need him? Yeah, that’s Bakugo all right.

Yes! You hold those grudges! Bakugo's right there with you. I definitely see him as the type of person to listen to you talk about someone and immediately start holding a grudge against them as well.

You're both very competitive and this can sometimes lead to conflict. But if you and Bakugo are able to see it as someone pushing you to be the best version of yourself, you'll be okay.

He's probably one of the realest people you will ever meet so there's no need to worry about him ever seeming fake. On the other hand, he also hates fake people so you can join forces to take them down together.

There's no way Bakugo doesn't like spicy food so a lot of dinner dates will definitely revolve around going to places that serve spicy stuff. He does make it into a competition though so be warned.

In Haikyuu, I match you with...

Someone with pretty eyes, super loyal, and who’s not afraid to be a bit weird around you? Kuroo is all about that.

Appreciates your ability to do things by yourself but does worry about you sometimes when you don’t ask for help. Just know that he’s there if you ever need him.

Food buddies! I see Kuroo as someone who enjoys good tasting food. He doesn’t really have a preference between savoury or sweet and he can handle spice, so wherever you want to go, he's happy.

There are a lot of unavoidable loud noises in volleyball so if you're not comfortable going to practise or competition matches, he completely understands. He's not going to force you to do anything you don't want to. That being said, if you do go to his matches, he'll be delighted.

Loves when you talk quickly because you're passionate about something. Since you're often more on the anxious self-doubting side, it's nice to see you let go of your inhibitions for once.

[enter-the-performapals]

@arcvmonth Day 5: Action Magic- Overpass

Alright, so I know the Dragon Boys Roleswap Shuffle is a pretty basic AU but I feel like I have an interesting take on it!

For the art today I wanted to draw Fusion!Yuya (hes gotta have some absolutely messed up anglicised name... Eia? Taking suggestions lol) being intimidating during the Xyz war, but it turned into POV: You're getting turned into a card. And stormy ambiance because Winter storms have been pretty crazy over here...

AU thoughts under the cut!

(Quick content warning for mental absue!)

Ive seen a couple of people theorise that Yuya, if roleswapped with Joeri, would still be happy-go-lucky but in a murderous psychopath kinda way. Personaly, I think the opposite.

In my idea of a roleswap, Yuya would be grow up as an orphan, desperately doing whatever he could to eventually get into Academia, which he does around ~10 years old.

Having pretty poor social skills, but still having a positive attitude, he'd make some acquaintances in the first month or so until he catches the attention of Leo Akaba.

Leo, terrified of what Yuya would become, decides to isolate him. While his peers are jealous that he gets special treatment, Yuya is over the moon and starts to see Leo as a father figure and idolises him, following his every move.

Around the same time, Fusion!Yuzu would be taken in Leo as well. Over time, Yuya would see how much better Yuzu would be treated than him, the way Leo doesnt let him too close to his replacement daugter, the hate that would occasionally flash in Leo's eyes when talking to him, and he would start to resent them.

Yuzu's no saint in this AU either, being coddled by Leo so much that she'd view herself above everyone else. She'd figure out how to manipulate Leo into getting whatever she'd want, and rub it in people's faces. She'd act perfect around Leo, but as soon as as shes away from him, she'd demean and undermine the people around her. And Yuya would be her favorite verbal punching bag- as hed also been selected specially by Leo-and save the worst insults for him. She'd probably be known as The Princess of Academia.

With hs confidence beingbeaten down by this version of Yuzu, shunned by his peers who are jealous that he was hand selected by Leo, and just knowing that Leo hates him for a reason he has no idea of, he'd just... mentally shut down. Spiralling into a deep depression.

He would never smile. Barely speak a word outside of duels, which he'd be ruthless in. His eyes would be cold and dead, other than occasionally showing flashes of an intimidating gold.

Of course, even though he knows Leo hates him, hed still do anything for the Professor, in a futile attempt to be loved and accepted by him. Hed be a major player in the war, and hed still kidnap Xyz!Rin and Synchro!Ruri

He'd still be the personality with the most amount of Zarc in him and at the end of the AU, standard!Yuuri would probably show him that he deserves to smile and that no matter what hes faced in the past, there will be people there to support him and be his friends.

After a charater arc duel where he breaks down after defeat and vows to become a better person, Leo would have an angry rant about him being useless tool to the reigime and a worthless demon child that he never should have taken in and expunge him, where then hed fuse with Yuuri.

My thoughts for his deck would be something similar to Sergey's deck, but instead of humanoids theyre animals (like the performapals) in a very old, black and white, rubber-hose style constricted with vines, chains and locks to symbolise a trapped but not lost sense of innocence.

If youve read this far, thank you so much! Let me know-either by dropping me an ask or putting it in the tags- if youd like to see more of this AU, because Boy Howdy have I thought about it In Depth. Thank you for reading!

[riordanness]

hey dear! Can I have ‘When Emma falls in love?’ For Pjo

Hello! Hello! 

Here is my information!

Name: Anna Lee

Pronouns: She/her

Preference: Male

Age range: Any

Personality: I am an INTJ Slytherclaw, Aquarius and a Type 6 when it comes to anagrams. Lawfully Neutral. I am a huge overthinker and stress a lot with anxiety. People tell me that I can be blunt which results in people thinking that I can be cold but in reality I try to be a kind person when it is needed. I am a realist and many consider me to be intelligent, often asking me to help with their work. I’m incredibly passionate about things I like to do and have a thirst to know everyone’s opinions as I feel that if someone is left out. I’m a creative person but sometimes my brain just goes blank, I hate when it does. I have a really dry sense of humour that usually is a mix of sarcasm, fandom jokes or self degrading jokes. I'm an extremely stubborn person and have to be right about everything. From a young age, my parents were extremely strict and had expected the best out of me which resulted in me being an overachiever. I have to get things perfect or be the best at what I’m doing. I'm really sensitive, even some small harsh words are enough to make me teary. I’ve been called a crybaby because of that and to be honest, that is true. I give too much to other people since I’m afraid of saying no since what if they hate me? And I'm too scared to ask for help or to have something cause I think they will think I'm selfish and worthless. Not the best self esteem 😔 I love to listen to other people since I think not a lot of people have others that they can tell what they wish to say without getting judged or outcasted. But the problem is that I judge too easily too. As much as I want to show a good image to others and help them, I tend to focus on my own needs and how everything can affect me for the better or worse. I hate repeating things, especially in front of a big crowd. I daydream too much, my head always in the cloud. When I get excited, I speak really quickly and stumble over my words which I get embarrassed by and stop talking. I have a rosy view of how the world works—or more specifically, of the people I love. Like sometimes I point out the negative things in life but when with other people, especially those I love, I always see the goodness and beauty in everything. I am very sensitive, especially when it comes to my appearance and personality. I’m always afraid that people are constantly judging me or hate me, which is why I tend to avoid public spaces or being around people in general. When I get familiar with someone or a crowd, I’m not that afraid to state my opinion. I get jealous and possessive easily, like I mentioned my parents are strict meaning I got very few things of my own and those things only came to me because I tried so hard to get it. So when I see someone else with it, it just irks me off. I always make plans but I know I’m not going to complete them, I just like to imagine the future if I actually had motivation and energy to accomplish things. I can never start new things while completing old ones. I am also the oldest child and have 4 younger ones, another reason why I stress too much. I don’t think I mentioned this, but I get angry really easily. The slightest mistakes just pisses me off. I suck at short talks and starting conversations, it’s much easier to have lengthier conversations. I can never do presentations, I always get too nervous. Plus, my friends say my voice is really soft so no one ever hears me much, especially since I’m uncomfortable. When I get angry, my judgement is clouded. I am terrible at holding grudges. I would be upset at someone but the second I see them again, I feel normal and happy in a way. Probably said this before, but I’m a huge day dreamer and stubborn. I can’t concentrate on my work because I always get distracted and daydream about things I will never have. I normally appear composed but have a fiery temper. I really want to be a lawyer. My parents never let me use the internet much as a kid so I pretty much live under a rock but I am incredibly book smart. 

Looks: Half-Korean and Half- White. I’m slightly chubby and curvy with a pear-shaped body (Double D cups). Upon seeing me, many people point out my eyes which are hazel with slight flecks of many colours such as green and amber being the prominent ones. Almond eyes that are doe-like and slightly turn up at the end but barely noticeable. I have a button nose and thin heart shaped lips. My face is round and my eye shape is almond. I am approximately 5’3. Two small moles are fixated on my right cheek and underneath my lip. Long dark brown hair that almost appears black but that solely depends on the lighting. My hair reaches my hips and is kinda wispy at the end. It’s usually on a ponytail with a few strands framing my face. My clothing style tends to be anything comfortable and classy. I prefer to wear black and colours that are darker, you will never find me wearing orange or neon colours. 

Likes: Chocolate, Anime, Music, Food, Being right about something, Reading, Drawing, Strawberries, Smell of Rain, Sleeping, Being the Best, Baking and cooking (even tho I’m not that good at it)  Daydreaming, Murder Mysteries, Romance, Long walks, Making Ocs,  Fiction, Name hunting, Suits, Me, Pinterest, Spicy food, Sweets, Lavender and Indicolite, Aesthetics, and Flower Languages.

Dislike: Loud noises, Jerks, Prejudice People, Slow Walkers, People who chew loudly, Getting look down on, Insects, Studying, Fake People, Self-pity, Getting below 90% in a test, Snow, Overlysweet things, Going outside, and the feeling where your brain is blank and can’t tell what you feel like, Doing nothing all day and Tomatoes

Love Language: Physical Touch and Quality Time

Ideal Type: Pretty Eyes. Will always be there for me and not afraid to speak their mind. Honest and loyal. Someone I can call her best friend, I can be weird around them and they won’t mind at all,Yet they would still help me see the light at the end of the tunnel and tell me it’s okay, that everything is gonna be okay. I wouldn’t like ‘innocent’ people nor ‘kind’ people cause I feel like I won’t be able to connect with them based on my morality level. Will be attentive to my needs. Not necessarily loud but not quite, somewhere in between. I want someone who I can feel okay around, as if everything was fine. Someone who would help carry a burden with me, we are together in everything. A type of person who would wait for me when I’m tying my shoelaces. 

Congratulations on the 400!

hii anna lee! tysm for this,, i instantly got my answer who’s i was reading and it’s clear as day to me that your ship is…

you + jason grace !!

you guys totally understand each other, both of you are a little bit too strict with yourselves and are overachieving, but when you’re together you can both take down those walls and just be yourselves. you both have the same kind of dry humour, but can easily switch between jokes and deep discussions. he’s your best friend, but he’s also your confidante. you just get each other. you both have the same love languages and you’re an a soy sucker for his pretty sky blue eyes.

here’s y’all’s playlist,, hope you like it <3

reading and daydreaming with jason grace

[ask-eden]

Relationships

This is the relationships log. Showing the relationships between my own characters and characters for others. [ Note: Only the MAIN characters will be shown here ] Significant interactions with other characters will add them to this list. Only those who have interacted multiple times OR left a significant feeling will be added. The list will update as time goes on or as relationships update

-> K E Y &lt;-

❤️- Love (Platonic) 💕 - Love (Romantic) / Lust / Crush 💚 - Like 💛 - Fear 💔 - Distrust 💜 - Dislike 🖤 - Hate 🤍 - Neutral / Unknown 🤎 - Shame

Eden's Relationships: Alaxia: My brother! He's... everything... that I'm not.... " ❤️❤️❤️🤎 Dysnomia: "Why, out of every pokemon, did I get stuck with the creepy one" 💔 💔 💜💛 Luan: "My best friend... my only friend... I'm.. sorry I didn't get to say goodbye..." ❤️💚💚🤎 TwoToile: "It's nice to know I'm not ENTIRELY alone in this... Hopefully our paths will cross again.." 💚💚🤍 🤍 Bronte: "She seems.. really nice... I kinda remember her from when I was younger... mm... But she seems close to Alaxia... Aaah... I don't know.." 🤍 💚💚💚 Berry: "Tiny scary woman... I don't know what her issue is.. What did I do to her??" 🤍🤍💜💛 Immune: "There's a cute girl living in my necklace.. or... is.. my necklace?.. I don't know aaa... She's nice at least.." 💚🤍🤍🤍 Goddess: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" 💛💛💛💔

Dysnomia's Relationships: Eden: "Pathetic little gay man. That isn't a hate comment it's just.. more of a fact, honestly." 💜 🤍🤍🤍 Alaxia: "One day, I'm going to fucking gut you" 🖤🖤🖤💛 Goddess: "Weird amazon woman. How is menopause treating you? Why are you looking at me.. like that... No. Must've been my imagination." 🤍 🤍 🤍 💔 Bri: "Peanut butter and JEALOUS much? Maybe if you weren't such a hot head you would be in my position. Hah. Hot head.. glaceon.." 💜💜💜💔 Spyder: "One of the few beings I can call my 'friend'... Even if your overdramatic and a bit too touchy feely" 💚💚💚💚 Orca: "Why did you choose ME... out of everyone...." 💚💚🤎🤎 Nyx: "I'm so sorry I had to do that to you.. I hope you can forgive me..." 💚🤎🤎🤎 Berry: "I'm glad she chose the correct side." 🤍🤍🤍💔 Bronte: "You were one of the few that were kind to me. Stood up for me... I hope when the time comes, you'll make the right choice." 💚🤍🤍💔 TwoToile: "... I have a bad feeling about what might happen to you." 🤍🤍🤍💔 Lucky: "Hmm... A friend.. Maybe.. I don't know.. I have to.. learn to stop hating you first... Forgive my jealousy... please.." 💚💚💚💜 Gladius: "I owe you a lot... But I still am unsure on why a god would so willingly help out a mortal... Maybe other universes are.. different.. Forgive my ill feelings." 💚💚💚💔

Luan's Relationships: Eden: My Eeedeee! That's my best friend right there RIGHT THERE! My best friend!" ❤️❤️💚💚

Alaxia's Relationships: Eden: "Pathetic. Maybe one day you'll be of use to me" 💜💜💜🖤 Dysnomia: "Parasite Parasite Parasite Parasite" 🖤🖤🖤💛 Berry: "You'll be of use to me, whether you like it or not." 💜💜💜💜 TwoToile: "Strange to see one of those stupid mortal experiments survive.. Maybe you'll be useful to me." 🤍🤍🤍💕 Bronte: "I hope you'll come around soon, I would hate to have to force it." 💕💕💚💚 Arceus: "What kind of idiot gives all their powers away? You deserve everything that's coming to you." 💜💜🖤🖤 Etoile: "Pathetic Worthless Waste of power. I can't wait to skin you alive." 🖤🖤💛💛

Inaris: "Someone from another universe.. wants to remain in contact with me.. This is nice... They are nice..... mm..." 💚💚💚💕

[abhainnwhump]

IMYM Chapter 12: Make Me Your Masterpiece: Ink

(Content warnings: Self harm, creepy/intimate bathing, doll whump, starvation, humiliation, forced crossdressing, Nightmare continuing to be a creepy shit biscuit. Also, happy 1 day late birthday to him and Dream.) <- Previous Chapter || Masterlist || Next Chapter ->

Ink stared at the wall as still as a rock, not even blinking. That way, he could daydream about colors and scenery, keeping him out of the white space. Also because he couldn’t move. Yep, he ran out of emotions for too long and lay as a paralyzed husk.

At first, after he screamed and cried, he killed time by pacing and drawing invisible designs on the floor. He punched the wall once in a while, which might have not even been the one he came in. They all looked the same and all it did was hurt his knuckles. Even though he never saw them, he knew someone was checking in on him. Someone was feeding him water and unseasoned white rice. On a white plate of course. It cost too much in the budget to give him color. It gave him energy, but the amount was always too small to satisfy his hunger.

Ink was so sickof white. He was sick of the silence and the loneliness. He wanted someone to hug him or hold his hand. He wanted to talk to someone, anyone, or at least give his bored mind something to do. You could only talk to yourself in so many different voices before you run out of conversation ideas. Then he remembered the mud from the fall, still stuck to his bones. Brown!

Unfortunately, the dirt and grime from his fall were so caked on that he couldn’t scrape it off. The artist’s desperation for any other color drove him to scratch his arms until they bled. It hurt but also felt good in a weird way. The black blood was a relieving change. Ink used it as paint to make pictures. He drew a messy version of the Doodlesphere’s islands. Damn, he missed it. It was so colorful, unlike his stupid cell. Once he ran out of pigment and didn’t want to destroy his arms anymore, he started daydreaming. Since getting paralyzed, he was stuck right next to a puddle of his sticky black blood. He couldn’t even teleport through the liquid. His escape was so close, but he couldn't move a nonexistent muscle.

How long has it been? Hours? Days? Months? It wasn’t like he had a calendar or a clock. Nope, don’t think too hard about that. He used up his panic and only felt numb.

Ugh. None of this would be happening if he just did as he was told! It would have been so easy too. It was his fault he was in here. At least, that’s what Nightmare said. His words kept replaying in his head.

You don’t think anyone cares if you’re missing, do you?

Even if I did love you, that doesn’t mean you can do whatever your selfish empty heart desires.

You’re an easy puppet.

They were all he could think about. He might never see the sun again because of his stupidity. Worthlessness. Pride. Immaturity.

He deserved this, didn’t he?

The artist knew people didn’t like him. Error, Cross, Fell, and the countless other souls he’s pissed off over the years. Even the original Sans didn’t like him. He always brushed them aside as being jealous. Usually, he would rant to one of his friends and get their opinion, but they weren’t around. Not like they cared, he doubted it.

He should’ve been angry. Nightmare was the guy who threw him in here after all, but he wasn’t. Ink was mad at himself, or he would be if he could feel anything.He was lucky to be with Nightmare and he screwed it up.

Like you screw up everything else?

Shut up!

Ink groaned. Great. He was hollow, hungry, bored, and hating himself. No one has checked on him since he lost his emotions. Maybe he wasn’t useful anymore and was left to starve to death. Was it even possible for him to starve to death? Who cares. He just wanted to get out of and stay out of this room. He’d trade anything for it. Even if he had to sell his nonexistent soul to be a servant or something. Unknown to him, he did.

“Do you understand my reason for doing this?”

Ink cringed at the voice. It was soft-spoken but sounded like a megaphone when he was used to never-ending silence. Nightmare leaned on the left wall, arms crossed and tendrils swaying. He looked sympathetic and regretful, but Ink doubted it was sincere. Something was off about him, but he couldn't put his finger on it . . .

Ink stared straight ahead, but would’ve rolled his emotionless white eye lights if he could. Because you’re a dick?

The dark king propped him up into a sitting position like a toy doll. His tendrils prodded at and caressed his cheekbone. “It’s because when I took you in, I didn’t take wet clay. I bought a pot. Finished, but so cracked and chipped that it didn’t even resemble proper pottery, more like a child’s art project. However, you were salvageable. I just needed to break you first, then the dust could be rebuilt into something beautiful.” He raised a browbone at Ink’s dazed eyes. “And it seems I’ve started the first step quite well. Better than expected.”

Nightmare reached into his pocket and pulled out a colorful vial, swishing it around. If Ink wasn’t paralyzed, he would’ve squealed in joy. Nightmare pried open his mouth. Ink gagged at the feeling of his fingers as he poured the bottle down his throat. His left arm shuddered, then he regained control of his body with a gasp. Licking the last specks of pink and green paint from his face, he looked up at Nightmare with a new mix of emotions. Fear, guilt, regret, anger, relief, but stronger than any of those, love. Ink shot into his arms, clinging to his suit jacket and forcing his head into his chest. Bitter apples never smelt so good after smelling nothing for who knows how long.

Nightmare stiffened in shock. Cautiously, he caressed the back of Ink’s skull, which he melted into. Affection. Sweet, sweet affection. He’d never take gentle touch for granted ever again. The dark king chuckled. “Well, who knew all it took was some alone time to make you so sweet.”

Ink kept hugging him. He was so relieved to finally have someone next to him that he worried this was a dream. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

“Quiet down, I forgive you.” Nightmare cuddled Ink close, rubbed circles on his back, and kissed his foreskull. Something in Ink felt wrong, but he dismissed it as touch starvation. The kiss and cuddle satisfied it. “I was thinking a lot while you were in here and I realized . . . you were right. I was a little too harsh on you. I didn’t mean what I said about you being worthless. I’ve been neglecting you and your needs for too long, that’s my fault. I’ll take part in some more one-on-one time so I can . . .” He removed Ink’s arms from his sides and held them up, eyeing the mess of frantic claw marks. It wasn’t until now that he noticed the dried puddle of blood on the ground and Ink. “. . . you’re bloody. Again.”

Ink hung his head. “Look, I couldn’t take it anymore. The whiteness was driving me crazy; I needed some color.”

Nightmare nodded in thought. His eye twitched a bit. “Understandable, but nothing of mine is going to be kept in such poor condition. If you’ve learned your lesson, I’ll start you a warm bath and I'll give you a second chance, okay?”

Oh, that sounded great right now. Ink didn’t take baths that often (he didn’t see the point), but he was so worn out and messy that he would welcome it. “I learned my lesson. I’ll never leave your side again, I got it! Don't ever lock me in here ever again!”

“As long as you play nice, I won’t need to. And believe me, I don’t wish to use this room again.” He took Ink’s hand and brought them standing. “I hope you understand why I did this. You learn best from punishment. And you needed to learn not to disobey. Do you forgive me?”

Ink paused. Did he? He was starved,abandoned, and he triggered his worst trauma. Ink looked back up at Nightmare's face and his soft smile, and he knew immediately what to say.

“I . . . yeah. I forgive you!”

Nightmare beamed. “Excellent.” He led him out of the room.

Ink’s senses exploded at the change of scenery. He was aware of every loud plunk of water or blood, whatever it was. The smell of rot and death made him gag. The dungeon was a dark aquaish-green, but the color change was still too hard on his eye sockets. Not that he wasn’t happy being free, he just didn’t expect it to hurt so much.

Nightmare noticed his problem. “Here, close your eyes. I’ll guide you. You can trust me."

The artist hesitated before a fuzzy surge of love filled his chest. He squeezed Nightmare’s hand, putting all his trust in him. He made a hum of contentment and led him out of the dungeon. His tendrils nudged him in the right direction whenever he was about to hit something.

Weird, it was like their fight didn’t happen. Nightmare was almost the same way he was in that first month. It didn’t even feel real. Like all that was a bad dream. And Ink would have believed it to be if he wasn’t so shaken up. But they were starting over, everything would be okay now.

Ink almost crashed into him when Nightmare stopped. “You can open your eyes now. We're at your room . . . my dear."

Ink peeked out one first and soon opened the other. His room was dark and quiet enough to not overstimulate him. He stepped inside and buried himself in his blankets. He missed his bed.

“Wait here and I’ll arrange that bath for you.” Nightmare pecked him on the cheek. The artist smiled, but then he looked around. Something was missing . . .

“Where’s my scarf?”

Nightmare’s expression changed to that sympathetic guilt again. “Ah, your scarf . . . it was disposed of. You won’t need it anymore. It was hideous anyways.”

“Oh.” The corners of his mouth turned down. Ink loved his scarf. He didn’t say it out loud, but it hurt losing it. And worse, Nightmare didn’t give him a heads-up. He wished he did.

“I’ll be back.” Nightmare left the room. Ink lay back on his bed. His eye lights wandered to nothing in particular, but something caught his attention. The parasol wasn’t in his room before. Huh?

He walked over to it and ran his hand down the black pole. Ignoring the superstition about never opening an umbrella indoors, Ink opened it. It was all white with a pink border. The middle had stitched roses, hearts, and bows. It was soft too.

Ink picked it up. It was lighter than he expected, even though it was as tall as he was. He practiced swinging it around. Despite the cutesy look, the top was freakishly sharp, and Ink had to be careful so he didn’t knock anything over. Or hurt himself. It was in a diamond shape and all the sides were sharp as a knife.

“I see you found your new weapon.”

Ink jumped and nearly hit Nightmare in the face. He laughed in the entryway, tracing his finger on the soft part under the point. “I couldn’t have you go weaponless now, could I? I was considering giving you a knife, but that was too cliche. This was much cuter and it will fit your new role, you'll enjoy this."

“Thanks!" Ink grinned. "Quick question, why is it pink? I'm not complaining, but I don't get why you gave me a pink parasol of all weapons?”

Nightmare kept touching the designs, looking Ink over. “Because that’s your favorite color. You love pastel colors. White, blue, and purple, but pink is your favorite. Don’t you remember?”

Ink’s fight or flight senses tingled. Something about his tone sounded unnerving, predatory almost. But despite that, he couldn’t stop himself from talking. “I don’t have a favorite color because I like them all. But if I had to choose, I’d pick brown because it’s all the colors mixed toge-”

Nightmare shook his head. “No. Are you going to argue with me further or are we going to clean you up?”

The artist held his mouth slightly open for a minute before laying the parasol down. He sighed. “Alright, you clean me up.”

Nightmare wrapped a tendril around Ink’s hand and pulled him over to him, tripping him. Ink looked up at him. Why did he look so excited? Why was he cute when he looked excited?

He took him down the hall without a single word. Ink tried to remember where this was. The hallways all blended together in his head. Eventually, he stopped at a large brown door, close to his bedroom. “I hope you like bubbles.”

Nightmare opened the door to the master bath. The room was a decent size with a cream-tiled floor and peanut-brown brick walls. The left side of the room held a fancy dark wood sink with a white counter. Something wrapped in brown paper and beige string sat at the edge of it. A circular bathtub was built on the floor and surrounded by brown curtains with yellow cords. A silver showerhead was on the wall, the kind where you can remove the handle. Bottles of soap and scrub brushes lined the corner of the barrier. Lavender bubbles and steam covered the top of the water.

Ink was immediately wracked with guilt. “Nightmare, it’s amazing, but . . . you didn’t need to do all this.”

“Pampering you is my choice. So what if you don’t deserve it? We’ll discuss how you will." Nightmare gestured to the bathtub. "Now, take those filthy clothes off and get in.”

Ink was a little uncomfortable, but he did as he asked and stripped down. Once he removed hisshirt, he noticed the weird look on Nightmare’s face. He was staring, fascinated by his swirling black tattoos. “Uhm, what?”

“You’ve never told me you hid so much beauty. I believed you only had those markings on your arms and legs. Where did you get them?”

Ink blushed with rainbow freckles, flustered. “Funny story. I was born with them, so I guessed it was a normal skeleton thing. I asked Blue if I could see his and he was so confused. Dream didn't know either. Error said it was code from when I was stuck in the void."

Nightmare nodded along and hummed, but he wasn't looking at him. He was staring at the box on the sink. "Interesting . . ."

Once Ink was undressed, he lowered himself into the bathtub. The burning water shocked his system; he squeaked. Nightmare laughed and pushed him the rest of the way in. He took the brush and showerhead and used the latter to rinse water over his skull. Hot! Hot! Hot!

“Relax, I’ll take care of you,” Nightmare said as Ink shifted around. His cold hands were the opposite of the water. He probably didn’t mean to make the water so hot. It was an accident. “You only need to move when I tell you to. Like now, raise your right arm.”

Ink did as he asked and Nightmare cleaned his cuts. He made the disinfecting slow and gentle, pouring water over them to flush out the wounds. It didn’t take long before black blood stained the tub. The artist winced whenever he would rest his fingers on one of them, or worse, they got soap in them. Thankfully, Nightmare would notice and move. He did the same thing washing out the other arm.

“So,” Nightmare started as he pumped soap into his hand. “I’ve been thinking long and hard about your . . . poor decision-making and how I could help you improve. Then it hit me. Your problem is arrogance and too much freedom. You believe your actions are consequence-free and you don’t care about anyone who isn’t yourself. And if something does go wrong, all you have to do is hop into another AU and forget about it. It would be unfortunate if you couldn’t rely on your protector, wouldn’t it?”

Tilting his skull so he could wash the dirt and blood off his neck, Ink’s face burned in shame. He already knew he was an asshole now and then, but hearing it in Nightmare’s smooth voice hurt. "Yeah, I guess that would suck. And I kinda let everyone down . . . what is this leading to?"

Chuckling, Nightmare rubbed the lavender-scented soap into his collarbones. “As I said two weeks ago, I'm going to lay down stricter rules. I have a plan set up for you to take etiquette lessons. You also have some paperwork to sign. You have a brand new role you need to fulfill for me, and I'll teach you how. Don’t worry, once you catch on, they’ll be easy. Your lessons will be alongside your battle training. Also, I will choose what you wear from now on. It’s quite the change, but you’ll get used to it.”

Ink swallowed. He wasn’t a fan of the idea, but he’d do it if it made Nightmare happy. He didn’t want to face his anger again. “What happens if I mess up and break the rules?”

“Simple. Depending on the severity, we would either talk about your mistake or I would punish you. I’d prefer not to physically harm you, I’d like to keep your appearance nice, but it could happen. So instead, you would either spend some time in the white room-”

“NO!” Ink twitched so hard that water splashed up on Nightmare. He smirked in amusement as he flicked the bubbles off his face. “Not again. Don’t leave me alone in there again. Please.”

“Shh.” Nightmare stroked his cheekbone with his thumb, leaving a trail of light purple suds. “Aw, you poor thing. If you don’t want punishment, then I assume you want to be compliant, don’t you?”

To be honest, Ink wasn’t sure what he wanted. He didn’t want to be on his own, that was for sure. But he didn’t like thinking about losing that much freedom either. He could’ve tried running away . . . but he wanted to stay with Nightmare. Even if he tried to run, Nightmare would track him down and throw him back into the white room. Ink wanted things to go back to the way they were. He tried to keep everything on his mind, but it came out as stammering nonsense.

Nightmare massaged soap into his ribs. Ink stopped worrying and relaxed; it felt so good. “I understand if you’re confused, it’s how anyone would feel. That’s how you. will earn and deserve rewards like this. You won’t even need to think, I will do all that for you. You just need to act cute and obedient.” He booped his nasal bone. Ink sneezed. “And it seems you almost have the first part mastered. All this won’t start for at least another week. I figured you need some time to prepare. and understand what you're getting into."

“Prepare? I . . . nevermind. I don’t want to know.” Ink had a sick feeling in his nonexistent stomach. The last time he felt this uncomfortable was when he got back from Flufftale. Even though he was nervous about the answer, he asked, “Hey, Night?”

“Hm?”

“How long was I in that room?”

Nightmare didn’t answer for a long time. “A while.”

They didn’t say anything for the rest of the bath. Nightmare was gentle and his scrubbing never hurt, even when he had to go rougher on some of the stickier muck. Ink started to doze off. Nightmare kissed his foreskull. What did he say before about second chances? Was this it? If so, maybe this new role would be alright, whatever it was.

Nightmare finished cleaning him. He helped him out and Ink took a towel to dry himself off with, tying it around his lower bones when he was done.

“Sit there with your arms held out.” Nightmare said, pointing to the bathtub rim with a tendril. Ink followed the order. “There we go. Now stay still so I can fix your arms."

His tendril reached on top of a cabinet and a roll of beige bandages. He traced his magic glowing fingers down his arms before binding them up. “I would use my malice again, but the bandages will look much cleaner with your outfit. Don’t scratch your bandages no matter how itchy they may become. It could loosen them or cause a worse infection. That includes when they’re off. No more harming yourself, promise Ink? I expect your body to be in the best possible condition.” He paused. “How come you’re staring at me like that?”

Nodding and half-listening, Ink’s mind argued with itself. He should’ve hated him. He was supposed to hate him. He was always told Nightmare was evil and sadistic and violent twenty-four-seven. And he was a victim of that violence. But he’s been so gentle, concerned, and caring. Even after he messed up, he was giving him another chance. He couldn’t- no, he wasn’t all bad. That fight had to be a one-time thing. Maybe Nightmare was confused about how to show love. They were both brand new at this. Or was he the confused one? Oh! He could help Nightmare learn to love!

“Ink?” Nightmare snapped his fingers and the artist jumped, snapping out of his thoughts. “Are you listening?”

“What?”

Nightmare sighed in exasperation. “I was saying I have your clothes in that box.” He nodded at the package on the counter. “You may get dressed behind that screen. And for future reference, I hate repeating myself, so don’t make me do it again. Listen to me next time.”

“Got it!” Ink said quickly. He didn't understand why Nightmare wouldn't let him undress behind there earlier. Oh well. Ink stood up and took the package off the sink. It was both heavier and lighter than he expected. He shook it up to his skull. Something rang in there. A bell? A jingle bell?

The artist slipped behind the changing screen with the box. The back wall was a giant mirror. He set the package on a small stool, untied the perfect bow, and ripped the paper off in a swift motion. Inside was a plain black box. Ink took off the lid and peered into it.

He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t this.

Ink pulled out the biggest thing first. It was a cutesy dress meant for a little girl. Pastel pink with white lace trim and sleeves that puffed at the top before tightening at the wrist. The skirt had a lot of ruffles, lace, and layers, switching between pink and white. A pink bow wrapped around the waist and held it all together. Ink held it against his body and guessed it was about knee length. Under that was a painful and confusing-looking corset and shiny black Mary Janes. The last things he pulled out were a pink and white beret and white knee-high stockings with- did Nightmare have a thing for lace?

Ink wasn’t sure what to think of the outfit. It seemed too cutesy and pastel to be something Nightmare would be into. Like . . . that was the opposite of what he was into. But Ink put it on because he didn’t want to look ungrateful. He didn't hate it either, he was extremely confused.

The corset took the longest to put on because he had no idea how to wear it.The dress was easier and more comfortable than he was expecting, it had a soft lining inside. Ink put the beret on as he fumbled with the shoes. He preferred going barefoot as he felt freer but supposed these were alright. A little tight at the toes at most. Besides that, the clothes were his exact size. He guessed Nightmare looked at the labels of his clothes because he didn't want to know otherwise. As Ink stood up, he caught his reflection in the mirror. His face went hot.

Sure, he looked adorable and charming, but he also didn't look or feel anything like a fighter. The corset hurt and constricted his ribs. Even though they weren’t too revealing, they were some of the most embarrassing clothes he ever wore. The black tattoos on his legs stood out, looking like a sore thumb against the pinks and whites. Would Nightmare be okay with it? Would he like it? Well if he picked it out, he has to. Ink stared deeper into the mirror, studying himself. He had so many quest-

“Oh, Inky?” Nightmare asked in a sing-song tone. “Is everything okay in there?”

The artist’s eye lights turned into a purple exclamation point and circle. “Yeah, I’m done!”

“Show me.”

Taking a deep breath, Ink’s shoes clacked across the tiled floor as he stepped from behind the screen. His self-consciousness eased as soon as Nightmare smiled at him. It was worth everything. Ink messed with his sleeves and bounced on his heels. "So, what do you think?"

Nightmare walked around the artist, taking in every part of him. One of his tendrils felt around his eye socket, then it traced down his cheek to his mouth. He cocked his head with a satisfied smile. “Beautiful, bow and skirts suit you much better than that old uniform. But there’s still one more thing you need.”

“One more thing? What's that?” Ink couldn’t think of what he meant. Then he felt stupid.

Gesturing toward the stool, Nightmare grabbed a container Ink hadn’t noticed before. It was the same pastel pink as the dress he wore. Ink couldn't tell if it was intentional or not. It was about the size of a clutch and looked like one too. It had glittering silver accents and a handle at the top, along with two latches. He cupped his chin with one hand and held a makeup brush in the other.

Nightmare clicked it open. “This is going to be yours soon, but for now, I need you to hold still.”

Ink glimpsed inside the container. Many cosmetics, makeup brushes, and other beauty supplies. Before he could ask for details, Nightmare tied his hands and legs together with his tendrils. He took a small book and opened it, looking between him and Ink. It was a how-to guide. Nightmare dipped the brush in a container of powder and covered his face. Ink scrunched his nasal bone. Nightmare tapped the side of his skull as a silent warning to stop. He switched the powder out and painted eyeshadow on his eye sockets. Ink couldn’t stop himself from sneezing and snickering. The latter because the brushes tickled.

“Nightmare, I- pew! I think I’m allergic to the makeup.”

“You’ll get used to it.” Nightmare said, looking back at the book. He traced something that felt like a pen on the edges of his eye sockets. Ink tried readjusting himself again and Nightmare slapped his hands. “Stop moving around, you're making this much harder than it has to be. I know you have it in you to be good. You're just not putting in enough effort. Yes, you may have not signed any contracts yet, but you don’t need one for basic politeness.”

Ink held back another sneeze. “I can’t sit still- wait, what was that about a contract?”

Nightmare didn’t answer. After a few more touch-ups, he finished. Ink’s face felt weird. The makeup wasn’t heavy, but it still tingled. He’s done face paint and eyeliner before, but nothing like this. He looked in the mirror. Whatever the powder was, it made his features look softer. His cheekbones were done up with rosy pink circles like a cartoon. The eyeshadow was light and glittery. The corners of his eye sockets were a very faint red.

Nightmare ran his hand down his skull before tilting his chin to look at him. He hummed. “Not perfect, but it will do. This is how you’re expected to do your makeup unless I say otherwise.”

Ink was double confused. "Alright . . ."

"I'm glad you understand." Nightmare offered his hand for Ink to take it. He did, pulling himself up. Nightmare looked him over again. "Does everything fit okay? Is anything too tight?"

Ink shook his head. “Good," Nightmare said, "because this dress will become your new uniform. The same way I wear my suit vest and the team wear their navy jackets.”

Ink glanced down and couldn’t stop himself from laughing. He laughed so hard his eye sockets teared up and he had to brace himself with the wall. “You’re joking, right? Me? Going out in battle and spreading negativity dressed like this? That’s ridiculous! Oh, this whole thing makes sense now! You want to pull a prank to confuse me because you’re still bitter over our fight! I could give you some tips on pran . . .” He finally noticed Nightmare’s flat expression. He didn’t have any humor in his eye light. Ink’s laughter died down. “You’re not kidding, are you.”

“I don’t kid, Ink. You know this.” Nightmare waved his fingers and Ink’s entire body tingled. It was a less extreme feeling than when he took control of his emotions in Birdtale. Wow, that felt like a year ago, even if it couldn’t have been more than two months. Nightmare hummed at his aura. “Does the change make you uncomfortable? Be honest with me, I’ll know if you’re lying.”

Ink rubbed his arm. He was hoping he wouldn’t ask. “Well yeah. I’ve never worn any like this. Come on, it’s so embarrassing! You had your fun, now can I have my normal clothes back?”

Nightmare set his hands on his shoulders and massaged them. “I see you don't understand. I got rid of your old clothes. This is who you are now, Ink. I know it's going to be . . . difficult, but that's why I'm here. Now, smile for me."

Reluctantly, Ink did as he asked.

“See? It’s easy to listen and obey, and you’re doing such a good job.” Even though Ink didn’t want to admit it, the praise felt good. So did the shoulder rub. He rested his head on Nightmare’s chest, making one of the king's hands move up to pet his head instead. He was still touch-starved from the white room. It was almost worse than the years he spent in that void. He didn't know what touch was, now he did. He had something to crave and miss. “You’re going to love your new life, my little doll.” He pressed his nonexistent lips together to keep from snickering.

“Little doll? Weird name, but I kinda like it . . .” Ink mumbled to himself. Nightmare didn’t answer, but he could tell he heard it from his smile. Then the moment was ruined when a wave of dizziness took over Ink. "Night, can I have something to eat? I've had anything in like, a week."

Nightmare stopped petting him. "Hm, sure. I don't see why not. How does some pasta sound?"

Ink beamed again. Finally. He would get something that wasn't plain rice. He could never eat that stuff ever again. Or he would have to use food coloring.

Nightmare offered his hand to him and Ink took it. They walked into the hallway. Ink spun around as he walked so he could watch the skirt spin. But despite as fun as that was, he kept wincing and stopping in pain. Right, the corset. It was like he had a massive rubber band tightening around his ribs. What if he put the corset on incorrectly?

Nightmare heard his groans. “Is something wrong?”

“Yeah, this corset is killing me. Do I need to wear it all the time?” Ink tugged on it again.

His tendril absentmindedly stroked his waist. “No, not during battles or at night. Don’t even think about taking it off, you need it. If it hurts, that means you laced it tight enough. The pain won’t last forever; I doubt you will even notice it after a week. In time, it will improve your posture and make you look better.”

“Could I at least loosen it?”

“No.”

Ink didn’t bother arguing. Maybe when Nightmare wasn’t looking, he could take it off. How was he supposed to wear this thing every day without ruining his ribs?"

Nightmare walked into the kitchen and Ink still couldn't believe how massive it was. Sure, it was a castle, but still. The tiny white room made everything look giant in comparison. It was pitch black like the rest of the castle and the appliances were light gray. And the dining table was huge, almost as long as the room.

Nightmare told Ink to sit down while he made the pasta. Ink did. The chairs were the same dark wood as the table and engraved with swirled patterns and trees on the back.

Ink fiddled with his beret some more and made himself comfortable. It kept sliding over to cover his eye sockets. He took it off to see if it was adjustable. It wouldn't make sense if Nightmare got his clothes right but the beret was too big. Speaking of Nightmare, he kept stealing glances at him while he was cooking.

Ink smiled and cleared his throat. After a long time of thinking, he was going to ask the question that was itching the back of his mind. "Nightmare, why won’t-”

Nightmare shushed him without turning around. “I should've mentioned this before, my apologies. One of your new rules is you are to only speak when spoken to or with verbal consent. If you want to talk, say, ‘Permission to speak’. I will either grant or deny it.”

Ink sighed. “Fine. Permission to speak?”

“Permission granted.”

“Why won’t you let me leave the castle?”

Nightmare heaved a dramatic huff, stirring the sauce. “It’s for your protection. The Doodlesphere believes you to be a traitor. If they find out about our relationship, if they find you’re alive, it won’t end well. Few are brave enough to challenge me, but they would harm you. Think about it. You could protest and they wouldn’t care. After all, the evidence is obvious. You are in a relationship with me, you haven't shown your face in months, and you are part of my cause. I chose the white room punishment as a warning. That’s where they will leave you, in the same white void you were trapped in. I wouldn’t be able to rescue you.”

Everyone thought he was a traitor? Ink didn’t know that. “But . . . I’m the Protector of the Doodlesphere and a member of the Star Sanses! Everyone loves me! Well, most people love me. Why would you think anyone would change their mind?”

“One, you were. And two, it’s because it already happened once, to Dust. He went on a solo mission to a Fellswap timeline. He’s capable of protecting himself, so I wasn’t worried after he was gone for two days. But those days turned into four with no sign of him. Then it turned into a week. I started a search mission with Horror, Killer, and at the time, Cross. After hours of tracking, I found his scarf hanging on a branch. His footsteps were half-buried in snow and I felt a strong force of negativity. Pain, fear, distress, I knew he was close. It led me to a rundown shack in the mountains. There was a gang of monsters . . . torturing him. Dust was crying. His hoodie was missing. I killed all of them on the spot. Slowly.”

His voice turned sadder. “He was a mess. Broken ribs, bruises all over, fever, damaged legs, but the worst damage was to his mind. I haven’t seen him so trapped in his hallucinations since I first hired him. He couldn’t hear me, but he was calling for his late brother and his team. Horror, Killer, Cross, and I were up all night and into the morning working to return him to reality. Once his injuries healed and he could function again, he refused to talk about it. To this day, no one knows the extent of what they did, but I know the motivation. They were tormenting him because he was one of mine.”

“Dust is a henchman, but he’s also like a son to me. They all are. Don’t tell them I said that. Meanwhile, you are my light, my little doll. You would be worth so much more if you were captured. The outside world is too dangerous for you to be on your own. I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you.” He took Ink’s hand and held it against his chest. “Ink, promise you’ll allow me to protect you, no more running away, no more misbehavior. Promise you’ll allow me to make you your strongest self so I’ll never need to worry about your safety.”

If he didn’t feel bad enough, the story made Ink regret every choice he made in Flufftale. It probably wasn’t easy for him to open up like that. Nightmare knew what was best for him. He was smarter and more experienced than Ink. He should stop trying to argue and let him take over-

What? No! What the hell was he thinking? He was a guardian and fighter, not a helpless maiden! Even if he was dressed like one! He watched Nightmare set the plate of finished pasta in front of him. His nonexistent soul ached and his paints swarmed, but Ink reached out and took his hand. “I promise, Nightmare. I’ll let you protect me.”

Nightmare stopped and turned to Ink with a smug smile. He hugged the artist from behind, kissing him where his ear would be. He chuckled. “We’re going to fix you, Ink. I'm going to make you perfect. I swear it.”

[dream-bee-baby]

Hello! Hello! LITERALLY SO EXCITED FOR THIS! Can I request a House of the Dragon and JJK matchup that involves a moonboard and 3 headcanons?

Here is my information!

FANDOM: JJK and HOTD

 Name: Anna Lee 

Pronouns: She/her

Preference: any gender (preferably a guy)

Personality: I am an INTJ Slytherclaw. Aquarius Sun, Sagittarius Moon and Aries Rising. Neutral Good. I am a huge overthinker and stress a lot with anxiety. People tell me that I can be blunt which results in people thinking that I can be cold but in reality I try to be a kind person when it is needed. I am a realist and many consider me to be intelligent, often asking me to help with their work. I’m incredibly passionate about things I like to do and have a thirst to know everyone’s opinions as I feel that if someone is left out. I’m a creative person but sometimes my brain just goes blank, I hate when it does. I have a really dry sense of humour that usually is a mix of sarcasm, fandom jokes or self degrading jokes. I'm an extremely stubborn person and have to be right about everything. From a young age, my parents were extremely strict and had expected the best out of me which resulted in me being an overachiever. I have to get things perfect or be the best at what I’m doing. I'm really sensitive, even some small harsh words are enough to make me teary. I’ve been called a crybaby because of that and to be honest, that is true. I give too much to other people since I’m afraid of saying no since what if they hate me? And I'm too scared to ask for help or to have something cause I think they will think I'm selfish and worthless. Not the best self esteem 😔 I love to listen to other people since I think not a lot of people have others that they can tell what they wish to say without getting judged or outcasted. But the problem is that I judge too easily too. As much as I want to show a good image to others and help them, I tend to focus on my own needs and how everything can affect me for the better or worse. I hate repeating things, especially in front of a big crowd. I daydream too much. When I get excited, I speak really quickly and stumble over my words which I get embarrassed by and stop talking. I am very sensitive, especially when it comes to my appearance and personality. I’m always afraid that people are constantly judging me or hate me, which is why I tend to avoid public spaces or being around people in general. When I get familiar with someone or a crowd, I’m not that afraid to state my opinion. I get jealous and possessive easily, like I mentioned my parents are strict meaning I got very few things of my own and those things only came to me because I tried so hard to get it. So when I see someone else with it, it just irks me off. I always make plans but I know I’m not going to complete them, I just like to imagine the future if I actually had motivation and energy to accomplish things. I can never start new things while completing old ones. I am also the oldest child and have 4 younger ones, another reason why I stress too much. I don’t think I mentioned this, but I get angry really easily. The slightest mistakes just pisses me off. I suck at short talks and starting conversations, it’s much easier to have lengthier conversations. I can never do presentations, I always get too nervous. Plus, my friends say my voice is really soft so no one ever hears me much, especially since I’m uncomfortable. When I get angry, my judgement is clouded. I am terrible at holding grudges. I would be upset at someone but the second I see them again, I feel normal and happy in a way. Probably said this before, but I’m a huge day dreamer and stubborn. I can’t concentrate on my work because I always get distracted and daydream about things I will never have. I normally appear composed but have a fiery temper. I really want to be a lawyer. My parents never let me use the internet much as a kid so I pretty much live under a rock but I am incredibly book smart. I am literally the personification of Eldest Daughter Syndrome and have been parentified since I was a child and because of this, I’m naturally good with kids and responsibilities. 

Looks:I’m slightly chubby and curvy with a pear-shaped body (Double D cups). Upon seeing me, many people point out my eyes which are hazel with slight flecks of many colours such as green and amber being the prominent ones. Almond eyes that are doe-like and slightly turn up at the end but barely noticeable. I have a button nose and thin heart shaped lips. My face is round and my eye shape is almond. I am approximately 5’3. Two small moles are fixated on my right cheek and underneath my lip. Long dark brown hair that almost appears black but that solely depends on the lighting. My hair reaches my hips and is kinda wispy at the end. It’s usually on a ponytail with a few strands framing my face. My clothing style tends to be anything comfortable and classy. I prefer to wear black and colours that are darker, you will never find me wearing orange or neon colours. 

Likes: Chocolate, Anime, Music, Food, Being right about something, Reading, Drawing, Strawberries, Smell of Rain, Sleeping, Being the Best, Baking and cooking (even tho I’m not that good at it)  Daydreaming, Murder Mysteries, Romance, Long walks, Making Ocs,  Fiction, Name hunting, Me, Pinterest, Spicy food, Sweets, Lavender, Aesthetics, and Flower Languages.

Dislike: Loud noises, Jerks, Prejudice People, Slow Walkers, People who chew loudly, Getting look down on, Insects, Studying, Fake People, Self-pity, Getting below 90% in a test, Snow, Overlysweet things, Going outside, and the feeling where your brain is blank and can’t tell what you feel like, Doing nothing all day and Tomatoes

Love Language: Physical Touch and Quality Time

Ideal Type: Pretty big Eyes. I’m actually weak for big baby eyes. I love charismatic people who are funny but know when to be serious. Will always be there for me and not afraid to speak their mind. Honest and loyal. Yet they would still help me see the light at the end of the tunnel and tell me it’s okay, that everything is gonna be okay. I wouldn’t like ‘innocent’ people nor ‘kind’ people cause I feel like I won’t be able to connect with them based on my morality level. Will be attentive to my needs. Not necessarily loud but not quite, somewhere in between. I want someone who I can feel okay around, as if everything was fine. Someone who would help carry a burden with me, we are together in everything. I’m really into the cocky characters? Like they are so hot and arrogant at the same time? type of person who would wait for me when I’m tying my shoelaces. Any hair colour is ok! Though I’m soft for blond and black hair. I love playing with other people's hair! A little bit clingy. I love the type of characters that I think I can ‘fix’ or like beautifully broken ones that make my heart ache. 

Ideal Date: I don’t have a certain type that I prefer but I will forever love soft domestic picnics with their head in your lap and eating goods of all kinds. Or just doing something fun like going out late at night and going on drive or watching stars and any spectacles. 

Hope this is enough information and Thank you in advance! 

House of the Dragon:

I ship you with Alicent Hightower! I've seen someone else has shipped you with her (after I thought of her) but I just think the pairing is soooo perfect, and that solidified it.

I think Alicent would adore just being around you, you're so comforting and have the ability to understand her completely and it means the absolute world to her. When you guys are one on one, she would love to braid your hair. As the maids do her hair most of the time, it's a way for her to learn a new skill and avoid picking at her fingers. During important meetings or anxious situations, she'd fidget with your rings or the edge of your clothes to avoid hurting herself. She would also find ways to ground you as well, she pays close attention to you. Knowing if you were about to overthink or get upset before you. She would do everything she could to help, holding your hand, kissing your tears, helping you take breaths in a hall, or exiling someone.

I think Alicent needs someone who isn't overly rough but not overly bubbly either, aka you, Anna Lee. You're in tune enough with your emotions and experiencing them without shutting down, which helps Alicent feel safe and welcome to also express herself however she needs. You two would spend plenty of alone, quiet time whenever she could spare it. Much preferring to spend time walking, reading to each other/together, allowing you to sit in on meetings and draw. I think Alicent would feel safe and comforted with physical touch. She'd constantly have a hand on you in public (subtly of course). But in private she'd prefer to have more casual and revealing clothes, feeling your skin and warmth grounds her and reminds her why she does what she does

Alicent wouldn't push you like you're used to. She would allow to do whatever you like, whether that means rotting in bed or taking over a country by storm. She respects you enough to let you build and lead the life of your choosing. She will fund everything she can, she'll pay the cooks extra to let you help them or clear out the kitchen entirely for you. One time she even tried to cook for you, it didn't totally go well but that means it's another activity you two can do together

Jujustu Kaisen:

I ship you with Megumi Fushiguro! Our blunt but secretly sensitive boy <3

The two of you would take some time to find your rhythm, but once you do you're unstoppable. There would be immediate curiosity about one another and interest, but Megumi would be confused about your changing demeanor and sensitive emotions. But he cares immensely about his loved ones, and would observe you and pick up on all your little tells. If you had a really shitty day, he'd throw his hoodie in the dryer and place it on your bed with some of your favorite snacks. He's the epitome of actions speak louder than words. Your "blunt" nature is perfect for him, he doesn't feel like he has to read between the lines and knows exactly how to respond. Although your emotions baffle him, he often just stays silent as to not say the wrong thing. He's a great listener and asks how you'd like to be supported (rant, need a solution, talk shit, agree with everything you say even if he doesn't understand). And after spending enough time together, he'll be much better at sweet words. He never says things he doesn't mean, which works well for you to reassure how much he cares for you

The two of you are constantly escaping to god knows where. As much as he's glad you get along with his friends, he can't always handle all those personalities. So he'd drag you away (or vice versa) and you'd work together to build a strawberry garden and plant lavender. He'd make a list of all the books you've read (categorized by genre of course) and he'd buy you new ones and make sure you don't get repeat copies. He'd also find ways to make foods spicy, he'd find a good sandwich recipe and spice it up or make regular ramen and add spices to it.

He loves listening to you talk about your passions and he also loves seeing you daydream. He just sits and silently smiles at you, it's the cutest most romantic thing to view from an outside perspective. He'd watch you in the kitchen, you'd go to reach for the next ingredient or a utensil you needed and his hand would be right there with the exact thing you needed. Megumi has many passions of his own, so you both encourage each other to build your lives but also create a more realistic expectation of yourself and goals. He'd always make you feel like everything you do is enough, because it is. He'd encourage you to try and spend more time doing nothing, or trying something new and learning what it feels like to fail. Because failing is important and natural, and he wants to help you be kinder to yourself in a realistic way

[muiltifandomnerd]

Hello! Hello! Here for a matchup! I would love a matchup for my Noble House + Romantic + Friendship

Here is my information!

FANDOM: Game of thrones

Name: Anna Lee

Pronouns: She/her

Preference: any gender 

Personality: I am an INTJ Slytherclaw, Aquarius and a Type 6 when it comes to anagrams. Neutral Good. I am a huge overthinker and stress a lot with anxiety. People tell me that I can be blunt which results in people thinking that I can be cold but in reality I try to be a kind person when it is needed. I am a realist and many consider me to be intelligent, often asking me to help with their work. I’m incredibly passionate about things I like to do and have a thirst to know everyone’s opinions as I feel that if someone is left out. I’m a creative person but sometimes my brain just goes blank, I hate when it does. I have a really dry sense of humour that usually is a mix of sarcasm, fandom jokes or self degrading jokes. I'm an extremely stubborn person and have to be right about everything. From a young age, my parents were extremely strict and had expected the best out of me which resulted in me being an overachiever. I have to get things perfect or be the best at what I’m doing. I'm really sensitive, even some small harsh words are enough to make me teary. I’ve been called a crybaby because of that and to be honest, that is true. I give too much to other people since I’m afraid of saying no since what if they hate me? And I'm too scared to ask for help or to have something cause I think they will think I'm selfish and worthless. Not the best self esteem 😔 I love to listen to other people since I think not a lot of people have others that they can tell what they wish to say without getting judged or outcasted. But the problem is that I judge too easily too. As much as I want to show a good image to others and help them, I tend to focus on my own needs and how everything can affect me for the better or worse. I hate repeating things, especially in front of a big crowd. I daydream too much. When I get excited, I speak really quickly and stumble over my words which I get embarrassed by and stop talking. I am very sensitive, especially when it comes to my appearance and personality. I’m always afraid that people are constantly judging me or hate me, which is why I tend to avoid public spaces or being around people in general. When I get familiar with someone or a crowd, I’m not that afraid to state my opinion. I get jealous and possessive easily, like I mentioned my parents are strict meaning I got very few things of my own and those things only came to me because I tried so hard to get it. So when I see someone else with it, it just irks me off. I always make plans but I know I’m not going to complete them, I just like to imagine the future if I actually had motivation and energy to accomplish things. I can never start new things while completing old ones. I am also the oldest child and have 4 younger ones, another reason why I stress too much. I don’t think I mentioned this, but I get angry really easily. The slightest mistakes just pisses me off. I suck at short talks and starting conversations, it’s much easier to have lengthier conversations. I can never do presentations, I always get too nervous. Plus, my friends say my voice is really soft so no one ever hears me much, especially since I’m uncomfortable. When I get angry, my judgement is clouded. I am terrible at holding grudges. I would be upset at someone but the second I see them again, I feel normal and happy in a way. Probably said this before, but I’m a huge day dreamer and stubborn. I can’t concentrate on my work because I always get distracted and daydream about things I will never have. I normally appear composed but have a fiery temper. I really want to be a lawyer. My parents never let me use the internet much as a kid so I pretty much live under a rock but I am incredibly book smart. 

Looks: Half-Korean and Half- White. I’m slightly chubby and curvy with a pear-shaped body (Double D cups). Upon seeing me, many people point out my eyes which are hazel with slight flecks of many colours such as green and amber being the prominent ones. Almond eyes that are doe-like and slightly turn up at the end but barely noticeable. I have a button nose and thin heart shaped lips. My face is round and my eye shape is almond. I am approximately 5’3. Two small moles are fixated on my right cheek and underneath my lip. Long dark brown hair that almost appears black but that solely depends on the lighting. My hair reaches my hips and is kinda wispy at the end. It’s usually on a ponytail with a few strands framing my face. My clothing style tends to be anything comfortable and classy. I prefer to wear black and colours that are darker, you will never find me wearing orange or neon colours. 

Likes: Chocolate, Anime, Music, Food, Being right about something, Reading, Drawing, Strawberries, Smell of Rain, Sleeping, Being the Best, Baking and cooking (even tho I’m not that good at it)  Daydreaming, Murder Mysteries, Romance, Long walks, Making Ocs,  Fiction, Name hunting, Suits, Me, Pinterest, Spicy food, Sweets, Lavender and Indicolite, Aesthetics, and Flower Languages.

Dislike: Loud noises, Jerks, Prejudice People, Slow Walkers, People who chew loudly, Getting look down on, Insects, Studying, Fake People, Self-pity, Getting below 90% in a test, Snow, Overlysweet things, Going outside, and the feeling where your brain is blank and can’t tell what you feel like, Doing nothing all day and Tomatoes

Love Language: Physical Touch and Quality Time

Ideal Type: Pretty Eyes. I love charismatic people who are funny but know when to be serious. Will always be there for me and not afraid to speak their mind. Honest and loyal. Yet they would still help me see the light at the end of the tunnel and tell me it’s okay, that everything is gonna be okay. I wouldn’t like ‘innocent’ people nor ‘kind’ people cause I feel like I won’t be able to connect with them based on my morality level. Will be attentive to my needs. Not necessarily loud but not quite, somewhere in between. I want someone who I can feel okay around, as if everything was fine. Someone who would help carry a burden with me, we are together in everything. A type of person who would wait for me when I’m tying my shoelaces. Any hair colour is ok! Though I’m soft for blond and black hair. I love playing with other people's hair btw!

Hope this is enough information and Thank you in advance!

Love Interest: Robb Stark

You met Robb when he was busy trying to free his sisters from the Lannisters

You want to be a warrior for Robb’s army to avenge your uncle, Robert Baratheon, death. You have a strained relationship with your father, Stannis Baratheon, because you disagree with him on dealing with your favorite uncle Renly.

Both you and Stannis are stubborn people. You both cared for each other. You want to recruit Robb to Stannis, to prove yourself to be stannis heir.

You met with Robb and negotiate a deal with him. Robb is impressed with your intelligence and diplomacy skills.

He wants you to be apart of his close counsel with his mom and Theon.

You catch Robb having a depressive breakdown when Joffrey killed Ned. You calmed him down and give him strategies with taking down Tywin.

Robb also acts pretty playful and flirt with you while you doing your duty.

You heart was crushed when the Frey killed Robb during the red wedding and you joined back with your father stannis.

Nobel House: House Baratheon

Rival: Talissa

You both compete with each other for Robb affections and that you have very similar personalities.

@sugutoad, this is your match up