#I hate social media sometimes but it has given me so many lovely people so I don’t completely hate it 🫶🏻

[myfriendtheghost]

goodnight joshua and also jacob

[wingzie]

The Life of a Jikooker, Online and Offline

Sometime last year I revealed my real first name on Twitter. Though I am known more prominently as “Wingzie”, a name given to me by a good friend of mine, I wanted to add a bit more of a human touch to my account. It was a reminder that, even if I spend a rather large amount of time making posts, I also have a life away from the screen. There's been a few occasions when my army life and personal life have become interlinked.

I am lucky enough to have made wonderful friends since becoming Army. Thus, I will always say that your fandom experience and enjoyment will depend on who you interact with and what you engage with. It's because of these friends that I have been to South Korea or gone to Olle in London for BTS’ tenth anniversary. I've explored new local places or exchanged gifts. It's also because of these friends that I felt safe enough to talk about Jikook in my first ever group chat in 2019. I feel a certain love and connection between us, online and offline, that I don't think many others will understand. 

However, there is a certain loneliness in being a jikooker. I have been unfairly judged or dismissed just for talking about them. Either individually or as a unit. It calls into question why this is. I personally do not see myself as a shipper. The definition of a shipper is that you WANT them to be together and that is not the case with me or many other jikookers at all. The definition of shipping has changed so much that we are seen as bad people just for talking about them, when we are just talking about their moments together.

In the last few months or so I have experienced more of an Army life outside of Twitter. I have been to various offline events and spoken to so many and I couldn’t help but notice two things: 1) Jikookers have a terrible reputation

2) People are scared to talk about them as a unit compared to others. The first part can be somewhat understandable and it’s why I never bother fighting. It brings negative attention to them, when we should be boosting them instead. All they see are people just attacking each other and it is sadly true that a small number of Jikookers are Tae antis. I have left a few group chats because of that or because of ex-jikookers hating on Jimin or Jungkook. However, there are also a huge number of us that DON'T behave this way and it depends on what you focus on.

At a previous event I bumped into a local Tae bias. She clearly knew who I was and was under the impression that I hated Tae. I soon proved her wrong but I guess this is where some of the problems lie: There are a lot of focus on stereotypes, without giving us the chance to prove otherwise. I have also been to events where Army have cited misinformation and they needed to be corrected. I am aware that not everyone has my memory, but they were so callous about their comments that I was shocked. There was a huge disconnect between reality and what they were thinking and it is so important to check sources. Especially when BTS' history and ours is so rich and can be easily accessible in this social media age. 

Being scared to talk about Jikook is something that will always confuse me. I joined a BTS Discord and left shortly afterwards when I realized that they had a channel for every until apart from Jikook. I also went to an event shortly after the “You can handle it” Weverse Live and the group I was with mentioned every single part of that Live, apart from when Jimin was in the comments. They also said some things about Jungkook that made me feel really uncomfortable and they ignored what I was trying to say. They saw him as a puppet, for their own desires, rather than his own person. And I think that is also something I have seen on the increase lately. It should be allowed and in fact encouraged to talk about them as a unit without being shamed for mentioning them together. Ignoring them doesn't help either.

I am Jimin and Jungkook biased, but the definition of having a bias itself has also changed. You cannot say you have a bias now without automatically saying “but I love all of them”, when that should go without saying. I have seen this change since Mots:7 and it emphasises how much the fandom definitions have changed and how it has also shaped our communities. I have been to other events where I am sadly seen as an anti, once they find out my Twitter ID. My account includes all members, I just happen to post about Jikook and their moments most of all and there is nothing wrong with that. Ultimately, I wrote this without any clear message or goal in sight. I just wanted to express what I have experienced and my feelings about it. I will always cherish the memories I have with those that are closest to me and our beautiful conversations about BTS or Jikook. I just wish others did the same and understood what this community is actually about, online and offiline. My account will always be a safe place for all the members and I refuse to be villainized for talking about Jikook at the same time.  Much Love Wingzie/Becca

[theotterpenguin]

I really like the nuanced take about Zutara and why it makes some people uncomfortable and I can see both sides of it. I ship Zutara now but at first I didn’t and it made me really uncomfortable but I think it was just because of certain fan content I was coming across. Some people do portray Zutara in an extremely fetishized & creepy Stockholm syndrome way that makes Katara come off like some helpless damsel stereotype. It made me feel really gross thinking about as a young WOC but rewatching the show and seeing the true dynamic of these characters made me fall in love with them again. So I guess my feeling is that in canon i really love the dynamic but I hate the way *certain fans* twist it and refuse to acknowledge the racism & misogyny in what they’re doing

this is a complicated topic with many layers to it but first - i am sorry if you have ever felt unwelcome in the zutara fandom due to experiences with racism/misogyny.

it would be ignorant to claim that the zutara fandom is somehow uniquely unaffected by systemic racism or sexism, but it would also be disingenuous to claim that these issues only exist in certain parts of the atla fandom. racism, sexism, and general bigotry exist in every fandom due to institutionalized inequality in social structures. and to make it clear, i'm not directing this criticism towards you, anon, you are entitled to your own personal experiences, but i have seen a broader trend of people attempting to use fandom racism to moralize their position in ship wars, which is diminishing from the actual problem - the focus should be on acknowledging the existence of fandom racism/sexism, combatting implicit biases, and creating spaces that can uplift marginalized voices, rather than focusing only on optics in an attempt to gain moral high ground in a silly *fictional* ship war.

however, given all this, the reason that i am still in the zutara fandom is because i appreciate how many people in the fandom are dedicated to unpacking issues of racism and sexism and cultural insensitivity in atla's source material, which i personally haven't seen in many other sides of the fandom (that often sanitize what actually happened in the text to avoid acknowledging these issues in their favorite show). of course this is a broad generalization, but that's generally why i stick with the non-canon shipping side of the fandom because fans that are willing to stray away from canon are often less afraid to engage in critical analysis.

i also do think the zutara fandom has come a long way from the early 2000s when the show first aired. for example, when i first joined the fandom i had mixed feelings on fire lady katara, but i have since read some fanfics that have done an excellent job deconstructing some of the problematic ways that this trope could be interpreted and balancing respect for katara's cultural heritage and autonomy with the political and personal difficulties of being involved with an imperialist/colonialist nation. the fire lady katara trope, capture!fic, and other complicated topics/tropes are almost never inherently racist/sexist, but rather, their execution is what matters. and all this is not to say that issues of systemic racism/sexism do not still exist in this fandom, but it personally has not significantly negatively impacted my experience in the zutara fandom due to the wonderful content that so many other fantastic people produce, though everyone's mileage may differ with what they are comfortable with. anon, i hope that you are able to find a place in the zutara fandom for you! but i also know many people that have stepped back from other fandoms due to experiences with racism/misogyny, so i understand that decision as well.

on a final note, i think it's important to acknowledge that fandom doesn't exist in a vacuum and broader issues of racism and sexism are rooted in the media, the entertainment industry, and mainstream societal norms. while i do sometimes focus on fandom dynamics/discourse in my criticisms, i think it is equally as important to acknowledge how issues of prejudice and inequality are perpetuated through larger social structures, which is why it frustrates me when the atla fandom refuses to acknowledge the flaws of the original show, which has far more influence and social power over the general public than discourse over fandom tropes ever will. personally, i don't understand the phenomenon of holding fan-made material to a higher standard than mainstream media.

[matchtaco]

So... I haven't used my tumblr account for things like this in a while, but I am forced (by myself) to write something, since here at least I have more characters than on Twitter.

I know Logan's situation isn't great, I would completely understand if Williams doesn't re-sign him, but I feel (and I like to believe even though it's not a very healthy defense mechanism) that Williams will, Logan was one, if not the biggest, academy project, I followed him in F3 when he fought the championship with Oscar, when he dragged that tractor in 2021 to points because he had been left without the possibility of moving up to F2 due to lack of financing, when he joined the Williams academy, perhaps his fourth place was not a big deal for some but he was a rookie who from one moment to the next another began to feel the pressure of reaching the points for the super license and moving up to F1 in the team that had given him the opportunity to follow his dream.

They promoted him before, at this moment if everything went as it should have been, I would have to be mentioning that Logan was going to be the only rookie next year and not fearing in case he loses his seat; but the reality is different, I know well about his mistakes, but I also know that he can do it better, but he has a lot of pressure currently, every day a different name comes out to take his seat, and now only his seat is the only one that does not have anyone confirmed, if I, who am just a fan, have my mind at least one couple of hours a day, I can't imagine his situation, he is just early 20s and he is already seeing how his dream in F1 is apparently ending, adding to the hate he receives on social media, I'm not saying that they love him, I don't love many drivers in F1, but I don't understand @'s reason to him or in Williams' answers.

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like he also has extra pressure in wanting to somehow repay Williams for everything they did for him, basically saving his career in 2021, giving him the opportunity, that others can only dream of by promoting him in their first season in F2, and he only sees how, race after race, his progress is sometimes overshadowed by errors.

He wants to give back to Williams and help the resurgence of the team, but I don't know how to help him to show him that there are people who support him even in bad times.

[jqmalikhsgib]

midnight sky

two

it’s only been three days since you did the most craziest thing in your life. you didn’t regret a single thing, though!

zayn had went back home yesterday. it was his turn taking care of his daughter. you understood, not ever wanting to come between the two of them. you knew first hand, kids come first! it’s exactly how you treated your students.

you looked down at your hand and smiled. zayn had given you the most beautiful ring you’d ever seen. giggling to yourself, your phone starts to ring.

your eyes furrowed seeing an unknown number. you ignored it before getting out of bed and getting dressed. you head downstairs, walked to the nearest train station, and waited patiently.

when you get to your destination, you head straight to your classroom. your phone goes off once more. frowning, you decided to answer the call. “who is this?!”

“im sorry, miss yln. it’s taryn, zayn’s assistant!”

“oh—no, it’s fine. im sorry. is everything okay?”

“yes! we just need to go over a few things. nothing bad! zayn just wants me to make sure you’re good. do you have a good time to meet?”

“im pretty busy monday through friday. the only available time i have is the weekend. is that okay?”

“no, it’s great! i could meet you at your apartment if you’re comfortable? i just don’t wanna overwhelm you.”

“that’s actually perfect! do you need my address?”

“zayn could give it to me. ill see you soon miss yln. or, well, miss malik now.”

you blushed as the phone call ended. soon your first period class started piling up.

“lets get started!”

the weekend came quickly. you were waiting for zayn’s assistant while you graded a few papers. when you heard a knock on the door you weren’t expecting zayn as well.

“hi, babe.” zayn kisses you gently. you smile before allowing both zayn and taryn into your apartment.

“this is a surprise. i thought it was just gonna be your assistant.”

“meh, thought id come by since khai is with her aunt.”

yn points to her living room table before they all sit on the couch. “sorry, not exactly a fancy joint.”

“i like it!” zayn shrugs.

“so, what’s this all about?”

“we have to go over somethings now that you’re married.”

“like?”

taryn looks at zayn. “your life’s gonna change completely, baby. i just want you to be prepared for that.” zayn grabs your hand.

“once the world finds out, your social media following will rise, you’d receive many direct messages from strangers, paparazzi’s gonna follow you, and obviously it comes with some hate comments. we want you to be mentally prepared for that change.” taryn states.

“it’s why we brought some good information on therapist around the area. that is if you continue to stay here,”

“why wouldn’t i stay here?”

zayn looks at taryn once more.

“we even found a few private schools you could teach at! some elementary schools. zayn has told me how you wanted to teach elementary kids! it’s in pennsylvania. more secluded there.”

“we could even get a new farmhouse in case you don’t like ours.”

“wait,” yn takes a deep breath.

“i know this is a lot to process, but it’s the necessary steps to keep you safe. if you still want to continue staying in new york we could find places more secluded and schools more private for you to teach, yn.” taryn states.

“i just—i never really thought about everything. i love being with you, and i don’t regret marrying you, but my life is changing quickly. we’ve only been married for a week, zayn. i thought we’d keep our relationship private for as long as we can.”

“if that’s what you want, we can do that.”

“but it’s gonna be completely difficult.” taryn finished.

“how so? celebrities do it all the time, right? it’s not hard to keep things low key, yeah?”

“not hard but it’s not easy either. soon enough people will notice. sometimes they’ll see zayn come in and out of this building, they might see the two of you enjoying a private moment, might get ahold of your social media afterwards, and you’d be surprised what fans could find out with a simple google search.”

you sigh.

still not understanding how drastically your life was gonna differ, you’re afraid of change. it’s why it was so difficult for you to leave home years back. you didn’t mind change.

you just tried to avoid it as much as you could. on top of that you still haven’t informed your family. your mom would be livid she missed your wedding, let alone getting married to someone who’s practically a stranger.

on top of that, you haven’t told zayn about something you’re sure he should know. you didn’t want him to look at you differently or regret the decision of marrying you.

“i—could we maybe try and keep it private for a few months? just so we could enjoy our honeymoon period? i just don’t want people to know just yet. plus id like you to meet my family first. i wanna meet yours as well. is that okay?”

zayn smiles.

“of course, babe! whatever you want. you don’t need to stress, okay? taryn, the other thing?” zayn looks at her.

taryn smiles as she hands you a black debit card. you frown. “what’s this?”

“what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine! i put your name on my bank account. you can use this card whenever you need anything, baby.”

“zayn, i don’t need your money.”

“i know, but i want you to have this. even if you never use it!” zayn states.

“you’re already trying to spoil me, huh?”

“he does that! always give, give, give. could be a real pain in the ass sometimes.” taryn gently pushes his shoulder.

you smile lovingly at him. “im gonna head to see bobby. she’s expecting me. you two love birds enjoy your night.” taryn smirks before leaving.

zayn smiles while you blush. he kisses you passionately. it wasn’t like you didn’t enjoy kissing him. he’s an amazing kisser! but you needed him to know before anything happens. you pulled away quickly. zayn frowns.

“what’s wrong?”

you get up and pace around. “i—before anything goes further i need you to know. im not exactly experienced.”

“what do you mean?”

you sigh. “i mean, i had been saving myself for the right person.”

his eyes widened. “you mean, you’re—”

“yes, im a virgin, zayn. is that—is that okay?”

zayn gets up and grabs your hand. “baby, it’s okay. and if you’re not ready ill understand, okay? i just want you to be comfortable.”

you sigh in relief. “thank you, zayn. most guys aren’t so accepting. it’s why i was nervous to tell you.”

“guys are dicks! i however am a man, baby.” zayn smirks.

you blush once more. “could we maybe, cuddle tonight? i—im ready but i just—im also not. does that make sense?”

zayn hums.

“anything you want, ill be right behind you, love.”

the two of you walk into your bedroom before holding one another and falling asleep in each others arms.

[castleaudios]

You gave me feelings about Rose, so take Rose questions lol 1. So Rose has an "pretty substantial amount of alcohol" at home - is she a regular drinker, or is she the type that likes collecting that sort of thing? (Which would be adorable, given her dragon companion - each having their own hoard). 2. If she does drink, has she ever had a "I can't unsee that" moment as a telepath, and so had to dive into that collection? lol (I'm afraid to ask if it started off as a coping mechanism cause of her parents). 3. How does the Bureau handle situations like Rose's - where powers are misused for personal gains, or magic users are taken advantage of by people in positions of power (like parents, or I imagine, bosses or loan sharks and the like, if you want to go further routes)? 4. Did you plan to make Rose secretly a tease all along? Did you realize what it would do to us poor simps? lol (We love it, please keep going) 5. Does Rose have a bit of a found family with the members of the Bureau that helped her? 6. Does Rose like hugs, because there are now about a few dozen people (minimum) that would love to give her one. lol

Yay!! I'm so happy our girl Rosie is getting some love after her audio

1- Rose like collecting various kinds of alcohol, especially if it comes in a fancy bottle!

2- She's had a few "I wish I didn't see that" moments, which have led to a few extra glasses of whatever cocktail she's feeling at the end of the night, but the collection of bottles didn't start off as a coping mechanism. After Rose got away from her family, she was left incredibly isolated without a good understanding of how to set boundaries for her own powers. She was set up with a bartending job at a small pub where she learned how to be around people without getting overwhelmed- she also just so happened to be a great bartender, despite her forgetfulness at times.

3- Every case is handled differently by the Bureau, most often with the offenders being sent to prison and having their access to BoM resources revoked.

4- Oh Rosebud was always gonna be a tease, rest assured

5- Yes, she does :) She often receives cards from them at the Holidays and he friends with many on social media. Sometimes Bureau officials will stop into the library just to check on her and catch up. Many of them are aware of the Open Wielder and Abby, though they haven't jumped to conclusions... yet.

6- Rosie loves hugs, she just hates admitting it. Good thing Abby and dear are very good at forcing her to admit it!

[sapphyreopal5]

The Starfire Identity Crisis/SPN Fandom Witch Hunt

Oh boy, what a turn of events that has been going on here on Tumblr, IG, etc. I see that there's been some girl on girl crime going on here, perhaps some of which I did partake in clearly but did not hide unlike some people here. There's been so called imposters posing as a girl named Jenna working at SpaceX who went under the name @Starfire876 (then @Starfirelove5 and then @Starfirelove7 before she ultimately deactivated her account). It also seems my initial "dear mistress" post has been taken out of context by some people who decided to started calling me a liar (looking at you @hologramcowboy) because my post AND the ask both were taken out of a literal point of view by others, not so much from the point of view of WHY this ask was sent in. By the way, nice job showing her screenshots that clearly have MY name in the hyperlink at the top and with it, containing the background image that's awful distinctive and unique to MY PAGE. May be this was done as a way to get more positive notes YOUR way and more hate coming my way? Also, you and others named her directly, not I. Plus, why are you trying SO hard to figure out who Starfire is? Good job trying to "keep this fandom safe" in your own words to me, along with trying to pin Starfire's identity on my friend (who I can actually verify is NOT Starfire as I'll explain in this post why), and being frankly cruel about it. Nah girl, you ain't on a mission to help keep this fandom safe: you are on a witch hunt and are actually being cruel about it. Go back and look at the things you've said publicly and in PMs in recent months. Some self-reflection might just do you some good. Were people including yourself NOT talking about the bullying certain individuals in the fandom were partaking in within certain social circles? Hmm, you might want to take a good look in the mirror...

For future reference, take more care to actually review potential identifiers in your screenshots, asks, etc. and actually think about the consequences of such before you go on. It seems you and Anon are in cahoots to pin some things on certain individuals when reality is both of you chose to reveal this woman's identity. You "Anon" should've NEVER sent me that ask (because I'm sure you're gonna read this), let alone with the curious timing of this woman eliminating that already curious Austin post within mere hours of you sending me this ask. YOU contributed to this, quit trying to absolve yourself of any responsibility. "Stay off the blogs"... may be these words might ring a bell coming from someone you know?

Given the tizzy that has been stirred up by Starfire "posing" as a girl named Jenna, I can understand the negative sentiment coming my way. I understand why I am being called a liar given this imposter business. Heck, I've heard of some people believing Starfire and I are one and the same. Again, I understand this sentiment but I will say I've been attached to this same screenname for well over 13 years on many social media websites. I will say this: I NEVER post things to be a liar or to be deceitful. I post things I believe to be true ALWAYS period. I withheld the original ask out of safety concerns, as I believe it contained a lot of identifiers. Afterall, she didn't want people to be "sicced" on her. I apologize to people for feeling deceived and misled. I will say however that calling me a liar because of choosing to read it only from a literal point of view is frankly a direct attack on my character.

I was not and never will be a popular blogger here on Tumblr period. I care writing about spiritual topics, such as dream walking, dream interpretation, divination, deities, the astral planes, etc. Sometimes this crosses over to the show Supernatural, as I've written several posts before giving an explanation of what's true versus what's not on the show's depictions of things. And oh man, I swear I would SO love to talk about things like psychology, particularly forensic psychology. If I could go back in time and change career paths at a younger age, I so would've become a criminal psychologist. Plenty of people here clearly take things at face value when it comes to people's claims. I for many reasons do not. Again this is somewhat for the next post...

Bottom line is, my blog will never be popular and I know it. I'm okay with that. As long as I get to share my experiences and enlighten even a few people who may have had some experiences they can't explain, that's good enough for me. I've gotten plenty of "hateful" asks telling me things like I need to take medications for "talking to imaginary beings". I don't bother with those asks because they're a waste of my time period. The topics I am passionate about don't even coincide with this "mistress" business. I'm NOT a celebrity gossip column, never intended to be. Before I ever got the ask I did, I wrote about these things in such a vague context that maybe a handful of people knew who I could be talking about. I wrote about them with relation to what my tarot readings, pendulum dowsing readings, etc. have said and that's it. If I NEVER got this ask along with the funny timing of when certain things transpired on this woman's page and what's happening in Jensen's life and such simultaneously, I would've just probably stopped mentioning it altogether actually not too long before I got that ask.

When Starfire initially brought up to me her "identity has been stolen" storyline, this was starting around 9/10 or so. I myself found this to be awful suspicious but as always, I chose to give the benefit of the doubt and let her explain herself. It's interesting because she went on to rename herself Starfirelove5 not long after this whole thing went down. I ended up telling her I think it's cool she picked the number 5 because it's my favorite number. Funnily enough, not long after that she went on to change it to 7. She even went on to start taking things I told her and eventually made a twist of them. She tried to make certain traits of mine and such as if they were hers. And then to go on changing her screenname to have the same number of characters as mine, making a screenname that sounds an awful lot like mine and even containing the same number in it? Come on....

I dived into that girl's entire KNOWN LinkedIn and Facebook profiles, and a potentially linked Twitter account. I looked through ALL of her public posts on Facebook and LinkedIn because I got curious. I can 100% tell you for a fact this girl and my friend are NOT one and the same. Their interests are quite different, despite their personalities somewhat similar, and even their writing styles sharing similarities (frankly many people write somewhat like they do). It's also quite funny how many of the photos "Jenna" (or was it Jenna?) sent me were NOT readily available on the public side of her social media profiles. I mean unless someone wants to tell me her account was somehow hacked? I am also curious as to how she found out "someone" was "imposing" as her. Also why this timing NOW, given what's going on now?

I can tell you that the girl some of you are trying to say is Starfire is warm-hearted, caring, genuine and one of my favorite people to talk to period. She's shown me plenty of videos and photos of herself. She works in the humble hospitality industry and frankly has enough on her plate to not even worry about imposing as other people, let alone for the "sole purpose of spreading this ridiculous agenda" as some people put it (paraphrasing here). Starfire on the other hand barely spoke of her personal life, came across pretty aloof, and everything was just a bit too perfect. Heck, she even made up quite a few lies about my friend and for what, to make herself sound more relevant or charitable or something?

Dunno, your guess is as good as mine. I'm quite curious with this being said... What is this CLEAR proof my friend and Starfire are one and the same, hmm? Where is it outside of "writing styles match"? Did you get a chance to get to know both her and Starfire for months now? Nah, I didn't think so. If she really wanted to be an imposter hiding behind someone who frankly looks more like a diva than herself, why would she reveal her real self to anyone? Why would someone working in the hospitality industry and trying to make ends meet have enough care in the world to make several "sock accounts" for this purpose? Hmm....

[ladycatryx]

In Defense of Harry Potter

If you or someone you love is a trans person in crisis: The Trevor Project‘s 24/7/365 Lifeline [US]: 866-488-7386 Trans Lifeline [US]: 877-565-8860 TrevorChat, (online instant messaging option) International Support: TrevorSpace

I minored in Gender Studies for both my Bachelor's and Master's. I have a bookshelf full of queer theory. I have several trans friends.

And I went to a Harry Potter themed party the other day.

Like many of my fellow 90s kids, I grew up reading Harry Potter. It was an era-defining feature of my adolescence, eagerly anticipating book releases and midnight movie theatre screenings. But unlike many of my peers, it is not merely a feature of my past. I still regularly read and write Harry Potter fanfiction. I have beautiful art books and unofficial compendiums chock-full of lore and behind-the-scenes details. I am a HP trivia wizard---or witch, as the case may be. I have so much investment into the lore and the world of Harry Potter, and I often find myself in Hogwarts and the surrounding Highlands in my dreams---even moreso now that Hogwarts Legacy has given us a first-person and 3D experience of the layout and landscape of the Wizarding World. So I relished the chance to don my Slytherin robes and get all dressed up in character. The pictures turned out great. But I couldn't post them on any of my social media. I have been told, in no uncertain terms, that anyone who continues to support or engage with the Harry Potter franchise is a TERF and a fascist. Full stop. To quote one of my friends, "I don't interact with Harry Potter media anymore. And frankly I treat any interest in it as a sign of transphobia for my own safety. So I really don't care to know much about the [Hogwarts Legacy] game aside from the disgusting blood libel it chose to use in it's narrative. It's a hard line for me as a trans person."

It's a controversial topic, to be sure. Now I absolutely hate cancel culture's tendency to drag something someone said 10 years ago into the spotlight and blow it out of proportion, even sometimes taking it out of its original context to spin it as a bad actor with bad intentions, and then to deny people the ability to apologize or acknowledge personal growth (see: what happened to Lindsay Ellis. Thanks, I hate it). But let's be clear: that's not the case here. JKR has only dug herself deeper into the hole, being belligerently and purposefully ignorant and cruel despite a PR team probably begging her to shut up, and despite an entire world of people who have attempted to teach her better. She has acted, and continues to act, in bad faith, even writing trans and queer-coded villains and serial killers into her latest books. This is not a person who has attempted to apologize and make right her wrongs when they've been pointed out. This is someone who has been given every opportunity to not be an awful person and instead has doubled down on her hurtful and hateful views.

So, now that we know JKR's true colors, clearly the entire world of Harry Potter is suspect, as is anyone who continues to enjoy it....right? Sure, maybe not everyone who still rocks their House Pride merch is a TERF, but, like the sandwich-eaters of Chick-fil-A who just need their chicken fix, they certainly can't be counted as allies....right?

I've struggled with this.

And maybe this entire blog post will be read as nothing more than a selfish person defending their right to enjoy a thing guilt-free in order to conveniently overlook or dismiss the harm they're doing by persisting in centering their nostalgia over the real-life danger JKR's views presents to trans people. You can be the judge of that, I suppose.

My impulse since all of this has been to lean into "death of the author," an argument that says, essentially, it is not authorial intent that matters for meaning, but the text itself that is authoritative. In theory, the text can speak for itself, and the way readers engage with it and interpret it can stand in isolation from whatever meaning was meant by the author. (For an excellent video on this subject, click here, and here for a JKR-specific one). But I'd like to expand on that here, because 1) as the links above point out, engaging with the work of a living author still empowers them and gives them a platform and 2) is usually just an emotional response to silo oneself from the guilt of consuming the content of a problematic creator. In other words, it's a cop-out.

But I'm a sociologist. I'm currently an ABD Ph.D. student. I specialize in theory, gender, religion, and culture---the latter is just an elaborate system of signs and symbols that we are embedded in and have to make meaning out of. And meaning-making is a messy business. Interpretation is a vital and integral part of meaning-making. Messages aren't just handed down from the heavens and absorbed---social actors are actively engaged in the process of receiving them. Sometimes there are interferences, misunderstandings, and mixed signals that scramble the meaning. Intent does not equal impact, and so the messages we receive and understand do not always correspond to the meaning that was meant. (Again, not saying JKR is misunderstood or that we're misreading her intentions here---she's pretty unequivocally awful. But I am saying that in a world where meaning is what we make it, a trash person can still produce something of value, since beauty is in the eye of the beholder.)

Sometimes reading a meaning other than that which was meant into something can have humorous consequences. Sometimes the results are disastrous. Sometimes it means that we humans, as pattern-seeking creatures, see the face of Jesus on a slice of toast, or a baby-shaped cloud in the sky the same week we find out a loved one is pregnant. I think the fact that we can make meaning where there is none and make beauty out of nothing is spectacular, miraculous. In this age of disenchantment, many people are looking for ways to reconnect and reenchant their lives, to create sacred rituals out of their mundane routines. We are meaning-seeking creatures, and with many people feeling burned by, disillusioned with, or distrustful of traditional religion, we are turning to nontraditional sources of wisdom and inspiration. For literal millions of people, the Harry Potter books have been one such source. And I think there is value to them still, despite what has come to light about their author.

In college, I was heavily involved in interfaith activism. I no longer identify as Christian, but I was raised Christian. And I started to feel the parallels from my own experience.

If a person has been hurt by a Christian, feels Christianity is toxic, identifies passages in the Bible that have been used to oppress or were the product of a time that was openly endorsing of slavery, homophobia, misogyny, etc...their experience is valid. They have a right to say "Hey, I was raised with this thing and at one point it meant a lot to me (or maybe not, maybe it was always forced) but it hurt me and I no longer feel comfortable there and I choose not to engage with Christianity anymore." They have a right to be wary if they hear someone is Christian and they don't know anything else about that person.

But no religion is a monolith. The Bible is not a monolith. For every passage that may be hurtful or harmful or be interpreted in bad faith to support a particular agenda, there are dozens more about love, kindness, and compassion. Religion has been the driving force behind so many wars and evils...but it has inspired countless good as well. The Bible has been wielded as a weapon to cause suffering as well as been looked to as a resource of hope and peace.

I'm not saying that cancelling someone for resonating deeply with the Harry Potter series and not wanting to give it up because of what it means to them is like asking someone to not be a Christian or to give up their faith so as not to offend others. Of course, the comparison seems flippant. Religion is religion! We give it special legal protections because of its literally sacred status. It concerns matters of ultimate importance. The other is...fiction.

But what is sacred is a social construction. I'm going to bracket here any discussion about the existence or nonexistence of deities, an afterlife, and etc. What does religion actually do for people? What does it mean in the lives of the faithful? It is a source of comfort. Of hope. Of inspiration. Of answers. It can be a moral guide, with lessons and instruction and a guide for how to live that others can model their own lives on.

Casper ter Kuile, cofounder of the podcast Harry Potter and the Sacred Text, (check out their values statement if you want to know where they stand---spoiler alert, they're as progressive as it gets) would not find the comparison ridiculous. In fact, ter Kuile (who is, by the way, a gay man) founded the project with a fellow student while at Harvard Divinity School. In his book The Power of Ritual (2020) he talks about how the HP books have been a source of solace and inspiration and sacred reflection for him---and not just for him, but for thousands. Millions.

"Millions of readers already treated the Potter books as sacred in their own way. Therapists and counselors report young people using Hogwarts as their psychological safe space to go to in times of struggle and pain. And it isn't simply a refuge from the world. The Harry Potter Alliance, founded in 2005, has mobilized thousands around the country to act on marriage equality, fair-trade chocolate, and other progressive issues, using the narratives and rituals from the books to motivate and shape winning campaigns. Just as social justice movements have reinterpreted biblical narratives like the Exodus story and quoted the psalms, so too the Harry Potter Alliance references characters and plotlines from the wizarding world to motivate readers into action" (2020:44-45).

The HP books have helped people (and kids) cope with the loss of loved ones, understand privilege, learn that adults, authority figures, and even the government that makes the laws can lie and be corrupted and may not always have one's best interests at heart. That what is legal is not necessarily right or just. That evil doesn't just look like pale, snake-faced men who attempt to murder babies---sometimes it's enough for people in power to do nothing, to care more about maintaining their own relative privilege, power, and comfort. That often bullies lash out because they too have been hurt, and that hate can be easier to speak than love when it's all that you know...but that in the end, it is our choices that matter, not our abilities or the circumstances of our birth. The books have powerful messages, and they have nuance.

Take, for example, Petunia Dursley. As ter Kuile points out, universally disliked. But:

"As Vanessa and I reread that first chapter, we saw a young woman, unsupported in motherhood, suddenly given a second infant to care for after the death of her sister. Imposed on by a world she has always envied and feared, with no explanation, she feels vulnerable to a society that can only spell danger. No doubt, Petunia is abusive to Harry. She neglects him in the most foundational years of his life. But this sacred reading illustrated that narratives of good and evil nearly always are more complex when we risk our hearts to explore a sacred reading. It not only gave me a new lens for understanding a character, but it challenged me to realize I'd let the polarizing news narratives construct simplistic binaries of innocence and guilt" (2020:49).

The books aren't perfect. Even the messages JKR wrote into the books aren't all good, even if many are. Many people despise Dumbledore despite the twinkle in his eye and his many wise sayings for the way he used Harry like a pawn, like a tool---keeping him in the dark and just getting him to survive long enough to get him to die at the right time. By putting him in danger year after year, putting responsibility on his shoulders that no child should ever have to bear. For thinking that there would ever be an acceptable reason to leave him in the care of abusers, blood or no, magical love ward or no. And I love fanfiction because this messiness is explored and unpacked.

And yet, in canon, this jock who married his high school girlfriend and became a cop named his son after that guy and the incel who lusted after his mom man who tormented him and his schoolmates for years (I do love Snape as a literary character though, speaking of nuance...) instead of, oh, Remus, Rubeus, Arthur...y'know, any of the other men that were actually decent father figures to him in his life.

And yes, there are some heinous things in the book, like giving the Asian character the name Cho Chang and the Black man the name Shacklebolt. The antisemitism of the way goblins are portrayed: big-nosed, greedy, and money-hungry. And don't get me started on the fucking shofar. It has become trendy to shit on the books and other related IP, even to the point of ridiculousness. (Case in point: the uproar over the inclusion of a trans character in Hogwarts Legacy. And not from TERFs, but from the progressive community. At first I didn't understand---performative allyship? Surely her inclusion, and the ability to make trans characters in the character create, is better than the alternative, right? Apparently, it's her name that's the issue: Sirona Ryan. I had to actually look up why people were mad because again, I didn't get it. Evidently, people took issue with the "Sir" and the "Ryan," arguing that two such masculine-sounding elements on a trans woman's name was the equivalent of naming her "Penis McMan." Yes, really. Guess we better tell Serena Williams she's canceled too for perpetuating the "Black women athletes are too muscular and masculinized" stereotype). Anyway, it's been a dogpile lately to point out the plot holes and the poor world-building. And I admit, fanfiction authors often wield some amazing transformative alchemy, building on some of the half-assed parts of the lore and magic system and turning it into something far superior to what is canon. Nevertheless, it is reductive and revisionist history to portray the books as something other than the international bestsellers that they are. They are not the most amazing, brilliant things ever written, and yes, there are series out there that deserve the fame and attention and accolades that the Harry Potter series got. But nor are the HP books terrible derivative drivel that suddenly everyone wants to portray them as. In reality, they're a mixed bag.

What they undeniably are is important to people.

People read sacred texts because:

"the thousands of years in which generations have engaged these texts is something we need to pay attention to; and that we can step into a continuous stream of conversation between the text and human beings that has lasted centuries" (The Power of Ritual 2020:38).

There are nuggets of wisdom and timeless truths to be found, even in fiction. There is nostalgia for those of us who literally grew up with these characters, being of a similar age to Harry, Ron, and Hermione as we first read the books. The HP series is fairly unique in being both culturally relevant---a pop culture touchstone (I can't recall ever attending themed midnight release parties at a bookstore for any other series)---and possessing of longevity. The HP generation is passing the books along to their kids now. It connects generations in a way not many other franchises do. Star Wars and Lord of the Rings are the only other ones that come to my mind at the moment.

JKR is a TERF (which is not a slur, incidentally). Unapologetic. An awful person, certainly.

But I've seen people call her evil.

We can debate the meaning of the term, certainly. Evil itself is not black and white---her own books taught me that. If someone is evil, can anything they produce contain some good? Or is it irreparably tainted? Can someone be evil and still donate millions of pounds to charities for the homeless and victims of domestic violence? Could an evil person be capable of writing such emotionally deep and nuanced characters?

I think we are all capable of great evil and great good. Again, I'm not advocating for forgiveness or redemption here---she's done nothing to earn such goodwill. I don't support her.

But I think there are ethical ways to continue to engage in and enjoy the franchise. Don't buy officially licensed merch---but the fan-made stuff on Etsy labeled "Red House" or "Magical School Badger House" I find fair game. Buy your copy of Hogwarts Legacy used, or borrow from a friend. (Personally, I'm pessimistic enough to think that there's nothing I personally can or can't do that will financially impact her in any meaningful way...throwing away all my HP merch and not buying the $7 Slytherin slipper socks at BoxLunch isn't going to make a dent. It's up to the major companies and corporations that have partnered with her in the past to license Harry Potter-themed merch to roll back their association, and for production studios and actors to refuse to associate with the franchise. That's what she'll notice and care about. But I digress.)

On a personal level, I find deep psychological satisfaction from identifying as a Slytherin. (I'm also that bitch who is way too into her MBTI archetype and knows her rising sign and other obscure details of her natal chart, so sue me.) Just the other day, I got into an argument with my partner, who accused me of employing leading questions to get information about his mental state and plans for the day---he prefers directness, I find subtlety to be much more polite. We speak different languages. That's not the point. The point is, he felt manipulated, and even though he knows me well enough to know it wasn't out of any malicious intent, it felt slimy to him. From my perspective, my approach comes from a history of emotional abuse from my father, who has Borderline Personality Disorder and a host of other mental illnesses I inherited (yay, trauma!) In other words, it's a survival tactic. (Self-preservation: also a Slytherin trait.) I had to learn to prioritize myself from a very young age to avoid being taken advantage of. To some, that may sound selfish. For me, it was survival. And the word "manipulation" gets a bad rap, but it literally means "to handle or control (a tool, mechanism, etc.), typically in a skillful manner." That isn't necessarily sinister or done with bad intentions. It's strategic. It's smart. It's what emotionally aware humans have evolved to do as social animals. We don't talk about manipulating tools as shady behavior. It's an asset, this ability.

Maybe that's my ambition speaking. But I wouldn't be where I am today---working hard to earn my Ph.D., having already earned a Master's Degree from a highly prestigious institution, having graduated summa cum laude with research honors at my previous university---without ambition. But I do understand that people distrust sly, slippery, cunning people. But Coyote is a culture hero, I don't abide by the maligning of snakes and serpents, and I'm a Prometheus/Lucifer apologist. People may not find their methods entirely honorable, but you can't argue with the results being for the greatest good. Those cunning folk use any means to achieve their ends. It all fits, and it's a label that allows me to understand myself and my motivations and priorities better.

If you've been hurt and betrayed by JKR and can no longer find solace in a world that was once a source of comfort for you, I grieve that with you. I understand, and I'm sorry. No one should be forced to engage with something they find tainted and harmful, and everyone must draw that line for themselves. But I think there are ethical ways to continue to enjoy and engage with a franchise that has been a source of joy and inspiration for so many, including those within the LGB+TGNC community. The text even lends itself to queer, subversive, progressive, and action-oriented readings, which is the sweetest form of reclaiming and empowerment, and which the queer community has a long history of---appropriating the hurtful and harmful and transforming it into something playful and prideful. Queer folx are the original alchemists.

It's an egregore now, especially the fanon version of the Wizarding World. It's the collective product of millions of people loving and investing in these characters and their world. It has taken on a life of its own, independent of its creator. And like Lucifer, like humankind, it can defy the will and designs of its master and break away. It's expanded beyond her. She may have built the framework of the house, but we grew up there. We furnished it. And we can return to move things around and play in it from time to time. Some of us never left. I won't give that up because I've been made to feel I have to.

Oh, and that Harry Potter themed party? It was held at a business that is an unofficial hub for the local queer community. A portion of the proceeds went to a local LGBTQ charity, and there were several trans people in attendance. And we all had a fabulous time.

[wmnylander]

it makes me so happy when i see someone feel comfortable going about their day just normal and barefaced. it also bugged me when i was younger especially bc i literally couldn’t wear foundation or anything bc of atopic dermatitis (i’d either have basically open wounds on my face or it would start flaking after i took of foundation) and it was a bit of a struggle but wearing makeup now is unimaginable. i love seeing other women do the same thing especially when society and even so many other women put so much pressure on it, which i understand. like magazines and social media messed up people’s perspectives but it does make me a bit upset and mad when other women (or female presenting people) perpetuate those beauty standards (to be clear not all women who wear makeup bc some are aware of these things and they genuinely enjoy doing their makeup, i’m talking about women who put down women that don’t wear makeup and make them seem like weirdos) or even go under the knife instead of working on their insecurities, like especially if they decide to have kids at some point….sorry this turned into a bit of a rant but i’m so happy you’re comfortable being yourself and with your face, i think more people should do the same

hello my sweet ! sorry that this was sitting in my inbox for two days but i wanted to digest it & give it the time it deserves because i am soooo grateful that you took time out to write this.

firstly, i hope you’re doing well & that your skin is being kind to you — it can seem like something so minor to someone who has never experienced a skin issue but it can feel so large & draining when you’re dealing with it so i hope everything is all good !

when i was younger, i used to scoff at the idea that women only wore makeup to appeal to society but looking back now, it’s something i can truly say has substance to it. it took me a long time to realise that the only reason i was wearing makeup was because friends were, or i was seeing people online wearing makeup and i felt like it was something i had to do to solidify my identity. i agree with you in the sense that a lot of people, especially young women, enjoy makeup for what it is without the societal pressure & i can total get on board with it — i wear a little bit of makeup sometimes when i’m going out or if i know i’m going to be at a family event but now, it’s about enhancing what i already love. it used to be about masking what i hated so i’m grateful my brain has given me that realisation.

i really do hope that there’s a time in every person’s life where they can look in the mirror and be in love with what they see. i think that’s truly where you see the weirdos shine because they always seem so insecure in themselves that they feel the need to put others down. i don’t know how anyone has the energy, honestly. it sounds so cheesy but we only get one body and if we spend so much energy hating it or if we let others tell us what we should be doing, we’ll never get anywhere.

[bendingwind]

20 asks for writers

I wasn't tagged I just like talking about myself 😌

how many works do you have on Ao3? 158

what's your total Ao3 word count? 429,818

what fandoms do you write for? Just, so many. I think there's over 25. Top 5 by number of fics are Doctor Who, The Witcher, The Avengers, Dragon Age: Inquisition, and Bleach

what are your top five fics by kudos? - The Orphan Boy (Avengers) (sigh) - Reputations (Protector of the Small) (legit what, when did this happen) - Dreaming (Avengers) - Adventures In Social Media (Avengers) - Shapeshifting and Shenanigans (Avengers)

do you respond to comments? Sometimes! I generally respond pretty regularly to comments on new fics I've written and I try to respond to long comments regardless of when they're left.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Okay. Ironically, given how much I love angst, I hate angsty endings. It has to be i've got a feeling (this was meant to be) (Avengers) which isn't properly an ending, because this is my only unfinished work on AO3. It was intended to continue and have them meet when they were older and fall properly in love then.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I tend to skew towards happy endings except when I write dark endings, but maybe (don't pay no mind to) the demons they fill you with fear (Avengers) just for the sheer sense of hope?

Do you get hate on fics? I got some flames when I was younger for a variety of reasons, most often when I wrote material that I wasn't really old enough to handle respectfully or correctly yet and people got (rightfully if rudely) angry. The end of 2023 had a weird rash of people nitpicking minor canon details with me though.

Do you write smut? Yes.

Do you write crossovers? I was about to say no but I literally linked a Pacific Rim/Avengers crossover earlier so. I suppose I do.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know?

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, someone translated Adventures in Social Media into chinese, and I think one other story though I'm a loose ends trying to think of what it was.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! Die on Every Hill (Dragon Age: Inquisition). It was a delightful experience.

What’s your all time favourite ship? Look this depends on everything from what i ate for dinner to the phase of the moon. I am a multi-shipper and i will die a multi-shipper.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I've gone over these I think twice recently so skip. (But it's the 10 BILLION WORDS ABOUT KEL RIP)

What are your writing strengths? I think I'm good at characterization and at, idk, mimicking author voice? So that the tone feels like the original material, where appropriate.

What are your writing weaknesses? I really, really struggle to write if I'm not ✨inspired✨ in the sense that I... simply do not write if I'm not inspired. I'm trying to do better about that this year.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I usually try to write it in the original language or the anglicized version of the original language and build up the appropriate context around it so that it's clear what the character is saying. Otherwise, italics.

First fandom you wrote for? Arguably Narnia, in that my fourth grade standardized test essay was basically Narnia meets the horror genre fanfiction, as seen by a nine-year-old. The first I ever posted was Harry Potter, Ron/Hermione. I still have it. It is... so incredibly bad. I believe I was about ten at the time I wrote it.

Favourite fic you’ve written? all my possessions for a moment of time (Dragon Age: Origins)

[kaelatargaryen]

At LEAST once a month, I am gripped with the desperate wish that I could go back in time and change so many things. The last 10 years have been borderline evil and I really just miss the simple joys that used to exist. I miss the kindness, optimism, hope, love and support that seemed to be more freely given to friends, family and even strangers. I miss when we had a healthy dose of skepticism but generally believed in each others’ goodness.

And to make it clear, I fully blame trump for at least 70% of the world’s current attitude. His candidacy and election were a huge mistake, and I’m afraid he’ll get put into office again. So much hate and bigotry became amplified by his rhetoric and policy, I feel like I try to enjoy things now and have hope that what has been done can be undone – then I get on social media, tumblr being the exception (so far), and I see his magats still trying to tear others down just for existing in a way they don’t approve of.

Sometimes I feel like I’m floating on an island alone and there’s nothing good left to reel me back in. Because of this, I’m endlessly thankful that tumblr, whilst there are fandom arguments, is still a place for people to be people. We’re all fans, artists and poets here, it’s a breath of fresh air in a soul killing internet. Thank you for all your lovely content that makes me feel like I’m breaking the surface when I feel like I’m drowning.

Despite this being a brand new blog, I’m not new to tumblr and whilst it wasn’t the same for a few years there, I’m so glad it’s back now and I get to share so much joy with so many like minded people. That’s all, thanks for listening to my rant and thanks for being here 🥰

[useramor]

I’ve seen a lot of people on social media say that the way buddie is being treated in s6 so far is how sterek was treated in s3 of teen wolf. Which was they were purposely and deliberately separated for pettiness by the writers and an insistence to make people stop shipping sterek. I didn’t watch teen wolf but is this an accurate accusation to make of how alarming it is that buddie haven’t had a meaningful conversation after the premiere in s6 yet every other pair of characters has.

(incoming long post oops)

you saw a sterek buddie comparison being made and u thought of ME? kisses u

anyway, i had never actually considered this but perhaps from a very basic overview of the season with no knowledge of sterek, that's what this looks like. yes, it's frustrating they haven't had meaningful conversation and that it seems like they're being kept apart, but the very key difference is that 911 has not made any interviews having oliver and ryan cuddling with each other to promote the show, or hyping up awards where buddie was nominated for best ship, or tweeting about buddie constantly because that's where a lot of their viewers come from.

i didn't want teen wolf s3 live, but i did watch from end of s4, and even in season 5 and 6, when tyler hoeclin (derek hale) had left the show, they were still queerbaiting and keeping the ship relevant (x x).

(also, sterek were kept separate for much of the second half of s3, not so much 3a)

so, yes, in one sense it could feel like they're treating buddie the way they treated sterek by keeping them apart. but buddie is not even CLOSE to being queerbaited the way sterek was. also, buck and eddie didn't have as many big moments in s5a as they did in s5b. i think we need to all look at s5 as an example of how well 911 does dissonance and separation so that when everything falls back into place together, it's that much more rewarding. like, seeing eddie and buck working together at a fire for the first time in an entire season in may day was so. fucking. good. 911 has a tendency to pull characters apart only to bring them back together (and we as a fandom have a tendency to get antsy about that because we forget).

is it annoying? yes. do i think it's what happened with sterek? no. especially when sterek didn't have nearly as many canon roots as buddie does (sure, it's implied that stiles was derek's anchor, but eddie point blank said buck is christopher's legal guardian).

another thing with teen wolf is that sterek got HUGE very quickly, and when the show realized that they kind of cut sterek off cold turkey (most of the sterek fandom is based around head canons anyway). buddie has been building and building steadily since s2, and the fandom has only grown with the show and the seasons. if the writers hated buddie and didn't want people shipping it, they wouldn't have given us the tsunami arc, 'wanna go for the title?', the well scene, the shooting, the will, eddie's breakdown, co-parenting, the couch convo, etc. sterek was s1-2 heavy because when they realized the fandom was getting genuinely big, they said 'oh fuck this' and went heavy on the stalia and the stydia and gave derek a love interest that wasn't batshit insane.

honestly, watching a show with hopes that a non canon lgbt ship is going to get together can sometimes be incredibly frustrating, disheartening, and it can seriously ruin the show for you because you feel kind of cheated out of representation that's so glaringly obvious how could they not see it! and i get you. i am you. but at the same time, if you're losing hope and it's making you sad that every week they seem to distance themselves, maybe you should stop watching with the hopes that they get together, and start watching to make fun little headcanons and write little spec fics. the best part of fandom, in my opinion, isn't just the getting to see your ship kiss on screen part. there's fics and edits and fanart and gifs and so many ways to engage with the content aside from just viewing it. it's truly so wonderful.

personally, i do think buddie will get together and i don't see similarities to sterek. sure, they're both popular non-canon mlm ships, but i have a lot more faith in buddie than i EVER had in sterek. we'll be good :)

anyway tl;dr, i don't think this is the same thing as sterek because, despite the distance, nothing else is being treated the same. 911 is just doing what 911 does best—making us sit and wait because we know the reward will be so worth it in the long run.

sorry for sort of rambling and i hope this answered ur question anon!!

[skepsiss]

I've never done one of these before. @strangersteddierthings tagged me. I gotta confess I read less fic than I write, so bear with me. Gunna read more this for people interested in reading all my opinions on what tags would make me read a fic!

Age gap: 0

Neutral tbh. If they're both consenting adults at the time of meeting/when their relationship starts I don't really care. The other aspects of the relationship matter more to me, so the age gap is a net-neutral.

Codependency: -2

Depends on how it's done tbh. If it's absolutely pathetic and one or both the characters absolutely cannot function even remotely close to being mature individuals I'm not for it. But if the codependency is more in tune with one of the characters or both of them having different "disabilities" and/or things that distress them (PTSD, social anxieties, lack of concept of what the "real world is like" ala Tarzan style) then that can be very cute. It's codependency in a supportive way that allows one of the characters at any given time to be beside themselves with worry for their partner and the other partner to be vulnerable with their love/needs.

Get a negative vote though because people tend to lean too heavily into it and it makes me uncomfortable.

Obsession/Possession/Jealousy: +1

It has to be done right and it's totally dependent on the characters. Is one of them a villain in the original media? Their toxic behaviour is in character, so it makes sense. Tagging it as such won't generally make me click through. I'd tag my own works as jealousy to use it as a trigger warning and not a specific benefit of the piece. I think jealousy in short fics though can be fun. Doesn't necessarily mean their relationship is rife with red flags.

I will say I do like it when jealousy is used as a plot device to make one of the characters change for the better. When they receive consequences for that mindset and then work to overcome it. It's especially cute to see that character trying really hard not to be jealous and their partner recognizes this and it endears them further to their partner.

For me this looks like Catra/Alura where Catra by the end is really trying to change her possessive mentality. She may get ruffled still sometimes, but Alura is there to support her through her breathing exercises.

Opposites (grumpy x sunshine, etc): +2

Very dependent on the partnership. I don't think I'd necessarily click through just for this tag, but this can be the trope that initially gets me interested in a ship. I like playing with differences like that and especially when opposites turn into realizing they're not all that different from one another. Cute~ generally though I like this as a side pairing more than a main pairing.

Enemies to Lovers/ Enemies with benefits: 0

Depends heavily on the pairing. I prefer the cannon to set this up mainly and then have it be explored further in fic if people so desire. Pulling an enemy and pairing them with a "hero" can throw me off. There has to be chemistry for real there for it to work. I will say I'm more inclined towards Enemies to Lover vs Enemies with benefits. Hate fucking ain't it for me... gotta have the in love emotions.

Friends with Benefits: +5

Ugh, bonus points if it's obvious one of them is in love. I think this can be so rich in so many ways. It can lead to miscommunication, one of the characters being irrationally sad/desperate for the other, and it can lead to personal growth for one or both the characters. It has to make sense for the ship though.

Sex to Feelings: +5

Much the same as Friends with Benefits for me.

Fake date/relationship: -5

Boring and low-key upsetting for me. I don't know, the "faking it" aspect is just so far beyond anything I'd ever be okay with irl that even having it in media makes me cringe.

Friends to Lovers: +10

Amazing. Spectacular. Show stopping. Fantastic. Love me a good fic where the feelings build slowly and one or both of the characters realize they're in love with their friend. Bonus points if it's also a "missed connections" trope where one character realises they're in love just in time for their love interest to start a relationship with someone else.

The drama! The heartbreak!! They have to end up together in the end though and the ex has to be either a complete piece of shit so it's good they're gone or the break up has to be mutual with no hard feelings. None of the "stealing their love interest" kind of deal.

Found Family: 0

Idk if I understand this one? This seems the same as friends to lovers for me.

Hurt/Comfort: +1,000

My bread and butter. Absolutely the richest and can include ANY of the above tropes as well within it.

Love triangle: -2

Meh.... in the "friends to lovers" trope, what I described is the only "love triangle" I could get into. Not a lot of people write it like that though so I can't say I'd click through for this tag alone.

Poly/Open relationship: +1

Very character dependent and only okay if all parties are aware and consent. I don't care if a character has another partner as long as it's indicated that their other partner is either explicitly aware of them persuing person #3 or is also part of the partnership. I have some OT3s but it is extremely character dependent.

Mistaken/ Hidden identity: 0

Never read a fic like this that overly interested me, so I'm neutral. Wouldn't knock it before I try it, but I've never seen this tag used in a pairing I'm interested in.

Monsterfucker: +10

I don't actually care about the kink, but every monsterfucker writer knows their characters front and back. They're high key amazing writers usually so I trust them to lead me to a great conclusion!

Pregnancy: --30,000

Will close app and not engage under any circumstances. Even if it's a side character. Hate with my whole heart.

Second Chances: +10

Depends on what they did...! But generally people repenting genuinely is great and showing that (putting in a ton of work) to their partner/future partner is fantastic.

Slowburn: +30,000

My absolute favourite. Most slowburn writers I have read have really beautiful pros so I adore it. If your pros are mediocre though I don't have the patience for the burn.

Soulmates: 0

This has to be paired with another trope I like because soulmates alone feels too "easy." I personally believe soulmates are made, not born because a relationship can't just exist on "love" alone. You have to work and constantly work to make a relationship last. That person becomes your soulmate because you're willing to put in the work for them.

I'm supposed to tag ppl but I don't really engage with ppl on this app so 😂 @goodnessgraciouscretaceous @slowandsteddie

[dorianepin]

i really enjoy micah’s work and i also think courtney generally does a great job of running the stars twitter in a way where the chirping is appropriate and relevant and i like that she cares a lot about accessibility and not doing needlessly flashy things so briefly witnessing ... whatever was going down with them and the miro debate was so embarrassing ahsdlfhsh i’m glad she deleted the tweet though. as much as i love the team and truly believe in the mental resilience of our core i don’t understand why stars fans can be so sensitive to the idea that miro might not have had the best game relative to his usual output because none of that undermines the fact that he offers so many other invaluable attributes that benefit the team in countless fashion. sometimes i feel crazy because i want to say things like “everyone on this team is so emotionally dependent on one another” and i don’t know whether it’s truly a compliment or a critique or just an objective observation with no moral value, and then it also doesn’t necessarily feel fair because — it implies that they can’t play for one another and are too enmeshed to experience protracted success in the face of adversity. the thing is i don’t really know what to call the way jake was clearly rattled after seeing miro bleed out 2 feet away from him on a goal against but i also think jake is an elite goaltender not because he’ll be on a shutout bid every night but because he responds to failure so well and consistently, but then when we say response do we mean in a single period, game, over the course of a series? does that distinction matter when the margins get so slim? so in the end none of these evaluations really feel properly summative. i also don’t really believe in “clutch” as a true goaltender intangible because to me it’s the same bs hindsight evaluation as saying “wow he must want that one back” to a bad goal and as easy as it is to isolate big saves as being momentum breakers in a vacuum it rarely holds that well in a prolonged context.

god i need to stop posting but i feel insane about so many things. i was so exhausted by bhawks discourse because i wish people knew how to discuss an organization critically without utilizing someone’s trauma to make sarcastic jokes that in the end offer absolutely zero levity....... it’s not worth getting into but it’s fine. i get that it’s difficult to navigate one’s perception of organizational power dynamics when the “profitable asset” is a 17 y/o kid and that determining where our own expectations of moral responsibility lie is an impossible exercise but as always my online philosophy is that a little sensitivity can go a long way.

it’s easy to angst about the Narratives but i really do think bedard was raised just fine and as much as he has the ingrained confidence crucial to problem-solving elite-player temperament every article ever written about him just drives home over and over again that he’s not cocky in a destructive fashion and doesn’t take success as a given and is only as good as the work he tells himself he has to put in. but he also isn’t meek like mcdavid was in his draft year, but he’s still been interview-trained and understands his role within the media circus, but he wasn’t raised in the whirlwind of the gta minor league scene... i don’t know it’s just a fascinating junction of increased player autonomy and gen z social media scrutiny.

this is such a useless thing to be mad about but i do hate that the hawks have several prospects i like now. from a detached prospective viewpoint of his rookie year performance it’s like well the calder definitely isn’t a sure thing because that roster is DECIMATED and i have no idea what moves they’ll make in the off-season. i keep saying i wouldn’t be surprised if domi went back and i actually do wonder whether the canucks will deal some players to them and then ... whatever idk. but i think i’m just experiencing a disconnect where i don’t believe anyone is truly looking at the personnel the blackhawks have signed and going “well he has to score 40 goals in his rookie season or else he’s a bust!” like is that really a sentiment people will have? really??? maybe they will but perhaps naively i expect a modicum of calibrated rationality.

[mollybrown423-blog]

When does “just checking social media” turn into an addiction?

This week’s readings focused on social media usage's impacts on our mental health and addiction to social media. I think Chen et al. (2022) resonated the most with me. I am giving up TikTok for Lent, so I enjoyed reading about how social media use can become problematic because I think I was definitely addicted to TikTok. I am also reading the book Atomic Habits, which details a lot of what this article talked about with media habits and how habits form in general. This article was about Instagram, but I think habits on one platform can quickly form on another, which is why I thought a lot about TikTok while reading this. For me, TikTok started as a habit but evolved into something that I did to distract myself or to entertain, no longer something I just checked before bed. Tying this to Coyne et al. (2020), I was pretty shocked that they found no real evidence of social media impacting mental health. It kind of makes me think, well, what would their mental health be like without social media at all? We will really never know, but it is interesting to ponder. I think that many times when I use social media, my anxiety goes up, and sometimes I lose sleep. I know that losing sleep negatively impacts my mental health, so indirectly, social media impacts my mental health. It certainly isn’t impacted all day, every day, but sometimes it can have a significant negative impact. 

On the topic of mental well-being, I resonate more with Liu et al. (2019) than with Coyne et al. (2020). I love using social media to send things to my friends, and it definitely makes me feel happy when I receive something funny from a friend. I am glad their research included phone calls because I love talking on the phone with people. I always hear people say they hate phone calls and need time to prepare if they get a phone call, and I think future research could benefit from looking for a link between fear of phone calls and social media usage. I predict increased problematic social media would contribute to negative feelings toward phone calls. I use social media pretty frequently (in recent weeks, it has been less since I have given up TikTok), but I always enjoy a phone call or a FaceTime because it makes me feel like I have caught up more with that person than I would from a social media post. 

Matsuzaka et al. (2023) was really interesting because I never thought about social media addiction in the context of social isolation. I think it is useful to study Black American women because, as the authors noted, they make up the largest social media users. I think studying other minority groups would be interesting to see if there is a relationship between perceived social isolation and addiction to social media. While the group they studied is not a minority on social media, they are in America, so studying social media addiction in this context might build on these findings.

Overall, the readings this week were so relevant and interesting. As a social media user, I could relate to and apply them to my life. I would love to see a study on TikTok addiction and mental health because it is so different from other platforms that it might yield vastly different results. 

[agirlgonerogue]

Exposed

News media wants Richard's head on a stick. 

He's been subpoenaed. Again. And his biggest contract is at risk. I spent a weekend with him after he received the news and encouraged him to lay low for a bit. But it's not in his nature. By the end of the week, he'd declared war to save both the contract and his company.

When events like this happen I wonder if I'll ever get caught in the crossfire. Once, when traveling with another client for business, I got a call from a friend saying she'd seen me in the back of a televised interview that he'd given. The interview was filmed live on the spot so he didn't have time to warn me without making it obvious that we were together. When I realized what was happening, I moved fast, stepping out of the frame just after the crew began filming. My friend assured me that the distance between me and the client made it look like I was a spectator, not a mistress, but urged me to be careful. I could hear the worry in her voice. I was worried, too.

.

Richard hates the spotlight. He says that since he made his first fortune, nothing good has ever come of it. I believe him. But we've known each other for years and I still don’t know a thing about him. The few personal details he’s shared don't paint a full picture: He cares for an aging father; He has a few homes in a few hemispheres; He enjoys expensive toys; His palate is simple. Sometimes he refers to a "we" when talking about his personal life, but not always. After all the time we've spent together, I still don't know if he has a wife or kids.

Superficial conversation is psychically painful for me. At best it’s a mask, and at worst it’s a closed door keeping everyone locked out and the speaker locked in. It’s boring, unimaginative and disingenuous. Anti-social as well, if you ask me. At some point, I stopped listening to what people were saying and started searching for what they weren’t. I’m a glutton for knowledge and understanding, for deconstructing and rebuilding. I love a challenge and what could be more challenging than understanding the unexplained?

It turns out that most people are easy to read. Myself included. Others peoples feelings pummel me daily and that’s what gives us all away. Longing, ecstasy, devastation and satisfaction ripple off of us without our awareness. The air buzzes with unclaimed emotion and it's overwhelming to be so attuned to the chaos. It’s why I don’t like crowds, unexpected touch and struggle to socialize in groups. In those situations, the assault can be crippling, but it’s not always like that.

.

At work, I let my intuition guide me. Implicit understanding of the emotional field within my clients makes it easier to respond appropriately and remain flexible. It’s my foundation.

But Richard confounds me. He makes me stumble.

Unlike most people, his silences are quiet. Almost empty. I can’t tell if the emotions aren’t there or if they’re locked down, bolted to the floor and draped in dusty, white sheets. Either way, I have to focus more than usual to feel them. And sometimes I can't. I haven’t met very many people who operate on that frequency. It speaks to airtight control, which I have very little of but find immensely attractive in a man.

After he told me the media was hounding him, it took a few days for me to check what they were saying. When I did, his name was plastered across news outlets and Twitter was riddled with think-pieces. One said that he was playing dirty and I’d bet that he was. You don’t get to where he is by following anyone’s rules but your own. Another mentioned that he had been seen out with younger women, but that no one had been named and the nature of the relationships was not yet confirmed. My breath caught in my throat. Still no mention of a wife.