#I have SO MANY to say but I can't cuz I'm dumb

[the--firevenus]

'In the end, we are all what we have left.'

[venbetta]

Okay so everytime I play security breach, I always have to trigger some bits of Freddy's dialogue cuz I just love how he says things.

Example of this is in the beginning, it's very mundane, but when he's carrying Gregory in his hatch and you try to enter any of the other doors backstage and he says

I would love to do a tour, but this door is locked.

It's just cute because he's just.. "Aww, this kid is really curious about exploring. It's too bad we're on scrapped for time. Also, those areas are inaccessible." That's how I interpreted it.

Most of these are based on how I personally interpret, just letting you know before I go too deep with rambling. If you have any different interpretations, drop them, I'd love to see it.

Anyways, one of the dialogue bits that make me giggle every time I hear it is during the Prize Counter mission. Gregory accidentally sets off the alarm and is panicked by it. Of course, we enter the mini game, trying to keep Monty and Roxy out for 3 minutes.

Honestly, despite playing the game so many times, it's one of the few missions I kinda dread. It's just nerve-wracking less than scary. Especially if it's later in the run with one or both of the bots shattered and you can't save right away.

But what tops it is after you survive the 3 minutes, probably having few near death close calls and stressing (Gregory definitely was), Freddy simply says:

All done! See, that was not so bad!

And it's like... Freddy? What do you mean?? I almost fucking died. You weren't even there! He sounds so cheery about it.

You spent nearly 4 minutes fighting for your life, and you're met with Freddy's lackadaisical attitude. It kills me. Freddy, when I catch you-

Don't get me wrong, what Freddy did was helpful, even if he just turned off the alarm. And he's been helpful for most of the game... (for the most part, maybe conceptually)

And I feel that he only says that as a way to soften the blow of the situation, like he usually does when something goes wrong. Always trying to find the bright side.. like a true optimist. It's like when a kid is about to do something scary and the adult can't do much, letting the kid be independent, and simply watch (and step in if they have to).

Once the scary situation ends in either the kid succeeding or maybe injuring themselves, the adult then steps in either praising or comforting them. "See, it wasn't that bad. You did it!" Or "Oh, I'm sorry, you did your best. There's always next time/maybe I can help you."

While it's annoying that Freddy responds in a causal way (again, it makes me chuckle), it adds something to him that gives him that paternal role Gregory (or the player) needs. He deals with kids all the time, and I'm sure he probably tries his best to be hands-on. Praising them when they do something, whether its minimal, like retrieving an item, or huge like winning a game and whatnot.

There's countless times Freddy graces Gregory with praise, no matter how treacherous or simple the task is. And that's adorable.

Of course, I'm still beating his ass though (affeftionate), cuz what do you mean you can't come save me 85% of the time? What else are you doing when you're not around me?

I love this dumb bear, but so help me-

[asherashedwings]

FNF CONNECTED UNIVERSE LINE UP Part 1: The Boyfriends

Chat. I spent 34 hours in this canvas. I am so tired.

Anyways, when I began working on Connected Universe AU, I already knew I'd be making line ups. Cuz I love making line ups and I also love suffering.

Close-ups and lots of yapping under the cut

THIS IS ABOUT TO BE A LOT OF READING IM SO SORRY-

Alternate Universe Boyfriends

So all these guys, unlike the other BFs present on this line up, are actually BF but from different universes. They're the same dude.

I thought it'd be neat to display the fact that they're from different universes by drawing them all in different art styles. It was also a fun exercise to test my art style range.

So starting from the left, we got Base Game BF. The main universe one. He's drawn in my usual art style. Not much special about him. Boyfriend.XML my beloved. I will note here though that I did take some of the elements form my own BF design and threw them onto the AU BFs. So that's why they all have some sort of jacket/hoodie etc.

Then we got Yourself. I reverted to old tactics and used my sketch for his line art, which results in him having thicker line art in general. I also further distinguished him by giving him harsh black shading. He always has that. He already had it on his face, so I just gave it to the rest of his body too. Cuz silly. You. You could even say. Silly Billy- 💥💥💥

Then we have Funkadelix. Him and a few other BFs make use of the Blackburn brush for their line art, cuz idk I like that brush. I referenced the Mutant Mayhem style when making him, since in the Connected Universe, he's in the same universe as those turtles. His colors are mostly yoinked from the actual Funkadelix sprite. I think. I may have tweaked them a bit/eyeballed them idk. I prolly eyeballed them.

Then we got Monday Dusk Monolith (MDM). I really went with the mentality of "NO ROUND SHAPES" with this fucker. Just wanted him to look super sharp and scratchy, since that AU is literally dealing with an apocalypse. So sharp shapes just made sense in my brain.

I had a lot of issues settling on a style for Mix, so I just chose to take inspiration from the FNF loading screens, cuz it just fit in my brain, idk. His design also features present in my Pico design, like the stupid cleat shoes and stray hair lines. Yknow, since he's literally a mix of BF and Pico. He also uses Blackburn

Finally, HD. I decided to try and go for a semi realistic style for him, proportion wise at least. Cuz. Yknow. HD. He also uses the blackburn brush, but I also pulled an old tactic for him and made his sketch visible over his coloring. Cuz idk, I think it lends towards the vibe.

"Side" BFs

Okay, now we're REALLY getting into AU territory.

So from here on out, all the BFs are separate people from THE BF, and have their own names and shit.

So staring off, we got Blake. I was reading through his wiki trivia and saw them say his style was more "radical and funky" than base BF's. I saw the word funky and ran with it dawg. So that explains this clothes. I also tried my darndest to get rid of a lot of the BFs caps, cuz dude, I can't have that many fuckers having cubic backwards caps. So I gave Blake a pair of star shaped sunglasses cuz funky, chat, FUNKY. We decided that his stage name is Love Bird, and he chose that cuz that's a pet name his GF has for him, and if he had a band it'd be called The Birds of Paradise.

Then we got .XML. I immediately knew I wanted to give him a mullet. Look at this man and tell me he wouldn't have a mullet. Besides that, not much changed. Since he kept the name of .XML, I imagine he is actually related to BF in some way, and he just goes by his last name. They might be cousins or brothers or something idk. There's also more dumbass info on him here:

Then there's River, or G-Sides BF. I took a lot of inspiration from his teaser designs, cuz they were silly. Literally named his river after the dumbass river design on his sweater. I don't got much info on him besides that. I can't talk about River without including this image so here:

The New Yorkers

This group is literally named after the fact that they all live in NY in my AU. Technically, the Minus BFs should also be here, but they're their own group.

Starting with Bartholomew, or B3, I just took the shape of his glasses and ran with it. Chat I needed to get that shape language from somewhere. I actually drew him twice, since the first time around I really was not digging how I drew him. He's fine now tho. His ass only got brim, cuz he had to be different somehow. Other than that. not much changed for him.

Now Evan.. Evan gave me so many issues. Like, dawg I drew him three times. I kept on trying to make the orange in his upcoming design WORK but I just COULDNT chat i COULDNT

So, per @braveboiart 's request, I ended up getting rid of it entirely and replacing it with his blues and grays. They also gave me the advice of brightening the colors a bit, which was very easy for me to do, I love bright ass colors. I also touched up his design shape wise, since that was also lacking the first time around. So boom, zippers on the pants and baggy ass sleeves. I'm content with how he came out. Chat I did all his design touch ups while I was exhausted out of my mind. Sometimes you gotta be delirious with sleep deprivation in order to cook, kids, trust me (please do not be like me-)

Benjamin was pretty simple. Kept him soft, kept him round, kept him pastel. Got rid of the caution sign on his hoodie since .XML already had that, and just replaced it with paint splatters. Not much more to say.

With X's design, I got a lot of help from my good good friend @minxtheeenby , mainly when figuring out his hair style. Those braids are not actually his hair, and are fuckass cords that connect to his headphones and can move independently. Don't ask about the logic, I will not be thinking about it. He was born in Philly cuz of his fuckass white eyes. White eyes means Philly, I don't make the rules here.

Minus BFs

The colorful critters, these guys are.

So. Beta. I had actually drawn him before this point, and he didn't change much from then

He has arrow shaped top surgery scars cuz I love giving constantly shirtless characters top scars and I just. HAD TO once I had the idea to make them arrow shaped. Main things to change since that drawing are some details on his pants and some of his colors; notedly the fact that his hat is a darker color compared to his skin to further distinguish it. Also Brave kept trying to get me to make parts of his design the same color as his nipples. So that happened /lh

Chat. I let my furry show with Blue. BUT CHAT HEAR ME OUT. On the wiki it's stated that he's a "Dog??". You think I could look at that and not go all the way? So yeah. Dog. He's silly and he got his weird ear ring things from his sister (Minus Miku).

Not much to say on Mean, he barely changed. I just drew him in my style and added a few details. He might also be an alien, idk.

Now, I posted about Golden a bit, but for those who didn't see that insanity: I made him an Alien Hominid. Cuz small yellow alien=Alien Hominid in my brain. Flawless logic. (Don't worry chat, I sat down and extensively researched the AH series to the best of my ability to check if it made sense. And I didn't see anything that would make it not make sense?) But yeah, silly. Him and Otis might be buddies, cuz goofy.

Who Fuckin Knows

These guys are just all the guys I had nowhere else to put. Miscellaneous group.

So first we have Bonnie, or Saturday Night Swappin' BF. He's another one that I had to go back and touch up. I actually touched him up the same night/morning as Evan. He ended up turning purple. The name we assigned him was an omen /j Chat I swear he was originally blue, I don't know what happened

HC that he just got really into FNaF when he was younger and has just been cosplaying a humanized Bonnie the Bunny ever since /hj

BIDU GAVE ME SO MANY ISSUES AND IDK WHY. It's prolly cuz by the time I got to him I was getting SUPER burnt. But I prospered and was able to finish him. And I don't hate how he came out, so bonus points there. Main change was replacing the prohibition sign on his shirt with a lightning bolt, cuz no one but BF is allowed to have that symbol, and Bidu already had lightning bolt imagery, so eh why not. His eyebrows being green, at least in my style, implies his hair is naturally green, and he just added the blue and pink, and I find that slightly humorous, idk.

Keith (StarCatcher) was another one I had to go back and touch up, but that's due to the fact that I was informed that him and his GF got a redesign before the creator deleted their FNF stuff. So I had to go back and fix my design according to that. I also leaned into the scape suit direction cuz SHAPE.

Now, you might be wondering, why is Flippin BF here and not with the other alternates? He was grouped with him in a previous post? Well, that's because after more assessment, I decided that Friday Night Flippin' is in fact, in the same universe as Base FNF and not an alternate universe like I had previously decided. So I changed his design a bit (mainly just getting rid of his hat and changing the color of his shoes) and boom. Different guy. He is staying pixel art tho. I do still need to come up with a different name for him tho.

Now this next one, Heath, is not from a currently existing mod, but from an FNF AU my friend Minx is making.

I decided to include him cuz he's silly and I love him. Their AU is canon to the Connected Universe.

Okay, so Cam (Hellbeats BF) changed A LOT. I let my furry slip out again. BUT I HAVE ANOTHER REASON FOR IT. See, in this connected universe, it's not just Newgrounds stuff that is canon. I also made other fandoms I'm in canon. So that means the Hellaverse is canon (specifically my rewritten version of it), and Hellbeats has to fit in with that. So I had to assign the characters species from that universe as well. So I made Cam a cherub, cuz I wanted him to stay short as fuck. He's also a raccoon cuz he's a lil shit and I thought it'd fit If ur curious, this is what everyone else is:

Okay I'm done yapping now. Gonna be doing the GFs next.

[archangeldyke-all]

I have an idea but it's a bit iffy for some so it's totally alright if you don't want to write it! Headcanons about being Sevika's controversially young gf? So basically an age gap but all legal. Again, totally ok if it's not your cup of tea!

totally my cup of tea considering i, too, would be a controversially young gf if i ever managed to pull sevika

men and minors dni

i mean, she's not that old. i think in act one she's in her early thirties, in act two and three she's in her early fourties?

in canon i don't think she or many other people would give a shit. at least in zaun.

i think the attitude is more like 'if u can find love, hold tf onto it,' even if just for basic survival reasons.

if you guys ever went up to piltover, you might get a few strange looks. but in the undercity? everyone's cool with it. they're more focused on the war to give a shit about two consenting adults' relationship.

plus, sevika's not the type to let people talk shit about her girl. i doubt anyone would have the balls to say anything to her about your age gap.

ALSO? i don't think sevika dates someone unless she's absolutely enamored with them and can't go on without them. so it's not like she's just dating a younger girl to date a younger girl. she's dating you cuz you're you.

the chemistry you guys have, the way you make her laugh, the easy camaraderie you share-- that's why she's with you.

i could definitely see her being more sensitive about it in a modern setting tho.

she absolutely adores you, and worries that she's holding you back. she doesn't get what someone as young as you would see in someone like her, she thinks she's too boring for you. and she sees the looks you guys get in public.

the longer you're together, the less she worries about it, the more confident she is in the fact that you guys are a perfect match for each other, if a little unconventional.

your friends and family all agree. you're like a match made in heaven.

sometimes she gets really worried about it though. you woke up one night to sevika staring down at you like she'd been studying you all night.

"you don't think i'm too old for you?" she asks immediately. you blink up at her, still groggy from sleep.

"no, babe, you're a milf." you mumble, rubbing your eyes. she blinks.

"what's a milv?"

"a milf. m-i-l-f. mom i'd like to fuck." you explain.

"...i'm not a mom." she says after a minute.

you chuckle, staring up at her. "no, but you are a mommy."

she groans at your joke, throwing an arm around you and settling in to sleep.

after that, 'milf' is a regular part of her vocabulary. her instagram bio is just your anniversary, followed by, 'sevika. gym rat. reader. milf.'

there's parts of your age gap that she finds really entertaining.

you get to introduce her to all kinds of media from your generation that she'd never heard of.

we (by 'we' i mean people 18-25ish) grew up with so much good young adult media! like imagine getting sevika to read the hunger games for the first time. she'd eat that shit up.

she'd love the 2010's cartoons you show her too, especially the dumb ass lighthearted ones-- regular show, bob's burgers, that kinda thing.

she has no patience for technology, so it's a relief that any time she has an issue with a device she can just pass it off to you to figure it out. because if it was up to her? she'd smash the thing and call it a day.

when you're together long enough, you guys can even joke about it with each other. she'll teasingly call you a gold digger, and in return, you'll call her a perv.

some people might not understand it, but that doesn't matter, because to you and sevika? your relationship is the only thing in the world that makes sense.

[newtdrawz]

Outsider HC's but they're mainly about Ponyboy,, cuz he is my fav,,

Most of these are just Pony interacting with the gang and his brothers 😭 are they gonna be OOC? Probably. Do I care? No. Am I right abt all of these? Yes. (No.)

ALSO alot of them are post-main story/mention Dally and Johnny's death a lot cuz I am unable to let my favs be happy 🫶 (! None of these are ships btw,, they're all platonic and stuff lol)

Anyways,,

Ponyboy & Johnny

Johnny and Pony regularly have conversations quietly around the gang, most of the time they have a whole conversation with just a couple looks and jerks of their head. They both seem to get what they're saying while the rest of the gang is completely lost on what they're saying/talking about.

Pony is the only one who calls Johnny, J as a nickname.

"We're not scared because monsters don't live here." Was a sentence said many, many time in the abandoned church.

Pony and Johnny can lie pretty well, but when they have to lie together they suck.

Ponyboy & Dally (ft. Johnny)

After Johnny and Dally died Pony stopped drawing and reading or writing for awhile. He picked it up again and his sketchbook is full of doodles and sketches of Johnny and Dally.

Dally has a soft spot for only Johnny and Pony. It takes a lot for him to get soft with the rest of the gang. He's still mean and tough but more just teasing with Johnny and Pony.

Before the fire Pony would read out loud all the time while Johnny would just sit and listen, sometimes Dally would listen too but interrupt with questions and criticizing the characters. Now that they're both gone, Pony will sometimes read out loud on his own, pretending that both Johnny and Dally are there listening.

Dally is very supportive of Ponys hobby in art. He's usually the one who catches him sketching or painting and just watches until Pony is either finished or notices he's being watched. Dally always nods in greeting and says "keep it up, kid." Or "nice job, kid." But Dally will brag to his other buddies that aren't the gang about how talented the kid is. ("Nah man, the kid draws from memory. He drew this one picture of his big brother, yeah the big big one, looked exactly like him. Like a photograph almost. Kids real talented.")

Ponyboy & Steve

Steve says he can't stand Pony and is mean to him, but Steve is very high on the list of people who care about Pony. He's the most frantic (mostly angry) one next to Soda when Pony got jumped. He secretly cares about him a whole lot, like he's his own brother.

Steve will give Pony rides to places or offer rides time to time. (He only does it if Pony's gone awhile without annoying him lol)

Steve (and Soda, but surprisingly it was Steve's idea) took Pony to his first drag race. He definitely should have not been there.

Ponyboy & Two-bit

Two-bit and Steve started sitting in and listening to Pony read, they're not Johnny and Dally but Pony appreciates it nonetheless.

Two-bit was actually so obsessed with toddler Ponyboy, he always insisted on bringing him with the gang and letting him in on games, he always wanted a little brother. He loved how easy Pony was to entertain and make laugh.

Two-bit was the only one who didn't think twice about Pony and Soda's names.

Two-bit sometimes steals art supplies for Pony.

Ponyboy & Sodapop

When Pony would visit the DX Soda would walk him through fixing a car and even let him help out on small stuff. Even Steve would help too.

He'll leave notes everywhere for Pony and Darry and sometimes the gang. They're either dumb jokes or funny little drawings.

Soda gets very excited when Pony asks him anything abt cars, he'll talk for hours abt them.

Soda was so obsessed with Pony when he was born, all he wanted to do was hold him and hang out with him. He would brag to Darry that he's not the only big brother now lol.

Ponyboy & Darry (I'm so obsessed with their dynamic & their growth)

"Dang it Ponyboy you're giving me gray hairs at 20!" Is a regular sentence said at the Curtis residence.

Darry always tells the other guys to be careful with Pony when they're rough housing. Pony thinks it's cuz he doesn't want them to break anything in the house, Darry just doesn't want Pony to get hurt.

Toddler Pony would follow Darry and Soda/the gang everywhere but mainly Darry. If Darry was doing homework in his room then boom Pony would be in there quietly playing or sleeping on Darry's bed.

Darry regularly cuts Soda, Pony and his own hair. They don't have the privilege of going somewhere to do it so Darry just does it and he does surprisingly well. It's a whole day activity.

The night after Dally and Johnny died Pony had trouble sleeping, even though soda was there. The first person he went to for comfort was Darry. Darry was in the kitchen cleaning, trying to distract himself when Pony walked in. Darry held him in his arms the rest of the night.

On the first father's day without their parents Pony makes a card with a drawing of him and Darry on it and leaves it on the kitchen table for him because he's embarrassed. Darry keeps it forever. (He did get very emotional over it but not infront of anybody. When he got home he hugged Pony, smiled and walked away. Those actions spoke a thousand words between the two and Pony knew he said thanks.)

That's all 🥹 (for now 😦)

I will be doing more of these 🙏 I wanna try to do individual characters cuz ik some here didn't have a lot as well as ALL of these being pony centric and I love them all lol

OH ALSO feel free to add on to these (or ask me about them) or add your own HC's cuz I love outsider headcanons ❤️

Also can you tell I love when Dally and Steve are nice to pony lol? Love it. Love the idea that Steve actually cares abt him and shows it sometimes or Dally caring just as much abt him. THEY ARE ALL A HUGE FAMILY YOUR HONOR 🧑‍⚖️🧑‍⚖️🧑‍⚖️🧑‍⚖️🧑‍⚖️ I'm also so obsessed with Darry and Pony,,, they are so,,, complicated sibling relationships get me everytime

Are some of these good? Probably not. Do they make sense timeline and story wise? No and idc. Am I so normal about them? Yes. Most of these are based of fanfic versions of them anyways so yeah

[selfship-confession-box]

(Oh shit here I go again...)

Adding to what to another anon said I also hate ai ""chats"" and just ai in general. It's bad for the environment, writers, artist, etc! So it breaks me seeing people use it so much without caring. ..it hurts me as an artist/writer myself seeing that so many people in our community use it so much :(

My tip to all of you:

Support roleplayers, support artist, aupport writers. No matter it just be reading there work, interacting with them, etc. It's good for them and you!

I understand some can't roleplay with people or commission people to write/draw for them which is absolutely okay!!

To that I say: make it yourself! :) it's fun! And shows love for our f/o's cuz WE made it, WE wrote that! WE drew that for THEM! ""But I'm not good at writing/drawing.." you'll never learn if you dont start! Learning a new skill is fun and I'm 1000 percent sure ur f/o's will love anything you make!! They'll always think your work is the most lovely thing in the whole world cuz YOU made it♡

As long as what you make is full of love and passion and ur having fun with it, that's what matters!! Anything you make will be 100 times... hell, 100 MILLION times better than anything a dumb robot could ever create..

I think I've said this elsewhere but I think it should be said again...I think we should abolish Ai and instead embrace creativity in our community!!

Tldr: Ai sucks you should support human artist and writers instead ♡

-💉🩸

.

[yeonslayjun]

Dumb and Dumber - Hualian

Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are so OBVIOUS and OBLIVIOUS at the same time Honestly They amaze me ngl

Cuz Hua Cheng be Like - Wdym Gege Loves me?? That's impossible like I don't think he loves me solely for the fact that I'm one of his last believer left and that I built a FUCKING CITY for him and how I ran helped him in a case and dressed up as a Groom and gege was a bride (Oh his dead heart definitely started beating then pls ) and how I Built a temple to worship him and how I released 3000 lanterns for him and that I've made 10,000 statues for gege and not how I have red thread of fate on my finger bc he tied his hair on my finger

ALSO wdym I had my gay awakening at the land of tender??? Impossible He's my god I can't have those feelings for him bc I'm a dirty piece of shit (NO YOU ARE NOT)

and DEFINITELY NOT HOW I GAVE HIM Spirtual Power... DEFINITELY NOT HAHAHA.... Now let me just ask his hand for marriage OH nvm I'm unworthy he doesn't like me ( WHILE XIE LIAN IS SITTING ON HIS LAP ) let's make it into a joke hahaha..... OH? Gege's says he's happy for my beloved when will he know it's him talking about?? :( ( let's ignore he didn't know half of these lmao)

OH MY GOD GEGE SAW THE STATUES That's it I'm getting disowned by him He'll hate me ofc he will... I knew this would happen no I'm okay, IT'S FINE... Yeah he really should make it clear that he doesn't love me huh? :((

Like Hua Cheng is SO DOWN BAD for Xie Lian Like Honey we get it You exist to LOVE your Taizi Danxia and to serve Cvnt and angst

AND

My guy Xie Lian here is SO VERY OBLIVIOUS like I get that he was practicing abstinence but bro's like -

Oh Hua Cheng is such a pretty name *giggles* Oh and his hands were so beautiful and he was gentle with me too when he dressed as the Groom *blushes* Oh Crimson Rain Sought Flower is his name? *swoons* HOLY SHIT HE'S HOT *nosebleeds*

I like this kid san lang. OoO Did he just suck the poison out of me?!?! DAYUM he killed so many people at once *swoons x2*... WAIT IS HE HUA CHENG??!?! Oh my gosh IT IS Hua Cheng ajhsjdhsudhu Let's act calm and composed hehe. Let's sleep together cuz He would never hurt me >:( I wonder what happened to the kid who said he'd worship only me :( He was a good kid yk? Had one eye covered too kinda like you actually haha Funny Right???

He's so perfect as a "sworn brother" ( Yes I'm looking at you SQX) protecting me and shit. Wait he trusts me??? ME?!?! huh?!?!. San Lang~~~. AHHH HE RELEASED 3000 LANTERNS FOR ME AHHHH I LOVE HIM as a friend ofc ofc.

Oh I LOVE getting Spiritual Energy from him <3 that wasn't a kiss nope it wasn't.... ERROR 101 San Lang asked my hand in marriage ERROR.... o h He was Joking :( ofc he was :((( I wish he wasn't tho :((((( SAN LANG HAS A BELOVED?!?!? Ofc he has He's such a handsome and kind man he probably gets all the bitches he wants But why do I feel smth weird in my heart?? (IT'S CALLED JEALOUSY YOU DUMB MOTHOFO )

Honestly God (Jun Wu LMAO) Knows how he survived the past 800 years like BRO WHY IS YOU SO STUPID when it comes to love?!?!? Like ISTG He's one of the smartest of all the jokes called "GODS". But he still doesn't get it till he saw the 10,000 statues Hua Cheng prepared like pls

ALSO Hua Cheng the ghost king who defeated 33 gods and how his smartass self esp rubbed the floor with them Civil Heavenly Officials But the one moment he needs it to realise the VERY OBVIOUS FACT that Xie Lian loves him The Genius Smartass is nowhere to be seen

But tbh I can't blame Hua Cheng much here cuz Xie Lian was very oblivious to his own feelings pls BUT STILL

Their Slow-burn was too much for me Like the chemistry was SO OBVIOUS but they're just Dumb kids when it comes to feelings *sighs* The Hualian Brainrot is rotting my brain away as we peak

[circeyoru]

This isn't necesarely a request, but I just feel the need to say this: I lietarly LOVE your work! Overlord Colector being one of my new absolut favorites! But I swear, everythig you write, I just eat up😭

U defenetly deserve all the praise and love! The way you dance with words just fascinates me so much!!! HDUDJJDHDJ, I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO PUT IT IN WORDS PROPALY SO IMMA JUST JDHDISHKDHDKDVDJWGKDHDJDHDHHDZKBWUDGZHEGXHGS

Just quick question tough. It may be the fact that maybe I didn't pay atention, but in Overlord Colector, what are the Cages? Are they literal bird cages or what? You mentioned they had tallons with angelic steal and all that, so can you give us a better description (and by us I mean me, cuz I'm dumb, aparently)

I hope you have an AMAZEING day/night and I'm sorry if I misspelled words😭💗

Spoilers to those that didn't read this series yet, so I suggest you go to my MASTERLIST to read {Collection of Overlords} first. Or not, your reading experience, not mine

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!! Thank you for your words!!! (my poor heart can't take these compliments) And you read my other works too!! People keep eating up my work like snacks... Hmm....

Anyways~ So, lore on Cages is basically this ask's topic. Gotcha. I've been wanting to expand on this, but didn't cause I wanted to do the whole meeting scene with the Overlords first.

First appearance of the Cages concept is in Part 2, at the beginning.

[Whispers of souls from the bodies of your provided winged creatures known as Cages flew around you.]

At first, Cages weren't a thing or that they weren't even in my mind, but it just popped up while I was writing. It's the idea of souls being around The Collector (Silver)/Reader/you that was the point, then I didn't like that they were just orbs of light. Too simple.

Then it's the idea. Something to hold the soul. What's associated with death and misery? Crows and ravens. What got me is that ravens are also linked with hunger, that's what the souls are on about, they hunger for freedom and their captor's favour to be set free (in some way). Yet they turned mindless over time.

That's a bit of thinking while I wrote this creature.

Now, Cages are named as such because they are actual cages to the soul within it. The voice behind the chantings: (below are just some examples taken from the story)

[“Sinners have been brazen.”] [“Very bold. They have stolen your land.”] [“Disrespectful. Undeserving.”] [“Lazy Overlords!”]

Their appearance is a mixture between a raven and a crow, never just one to differentiate them from the other Hell creatures. It's a uniqueness for them, and depending on the soul it houses, the appearance will take more raven or crow-like outlook.

Some permanent features of the Cages are their blood-red eyes, metal-bladed wings, metal beak and claws or talons, and black feathers. The metal parts are all angelic steel that's painted as a more natural colour to disguise it from those that would hunt it down or treat it like some Hell creatures.

These Cages are your last and successful prison for the many souls you have, I mean, Collector right? The souls you have at your disposal is not just the Overlords', that's why you call them Elites.

The idea of the Cages was to act as your eyes and ears around all of Hell. Remember the life-sized wooden figures and hollow knight armours you have? (also back in part 2) Yeah, those were your other experimented forms of prison. While both were good and acted like an unbeatable army you command, that wasn't your purpose. Especially so when you started collecting the souls of Overlords into your collection.

You took the idea from humans that were still alive and experimented with putting souls into the wooden figures first, then into armours to make them more intimidating. Finally, it was the bodies of ravens or crows.

Cages doesn't have unique abilities of their own since their purpose was to house souls you have collected and have them do your bidding. You can summon them at will, with or without notice or an outward command. Like in Part 5 where they just appeared. They are in tune to act according to your will and emotions. The words they speak is a bit of an echo to what you're conveying.

As for the possibility of someone owning those souls or your Cages? Impossible, anyone who tries to touch or capture them with said intention will have their soul forfeited to you. (like the ones in the floor in Part 2)

I think this answers what Cages are. Right?

[cfyslvr]

Give her a boyfriend

╰┈➤ author's note: Y'ALL my dumbass really uploaded this when it was unfinished 😭 anyways ur girl is back (took me way too long LMAO) and the fic is ACTUALLY finished- I'm so sorry for taking so long to answer it- but anyways !! I hope y'all like this lil piece and I'm open for new requests anytime !! (although please check my intro right here before sending a request, thank you)

╰┈➤ warnings: fluff, a bit ooc (since emma and draken don't like each other romantically in this), change of original story (draken and emma don't get married) + emma and y/n are sisters instead of twins like the person asked (y/n was born in the beginning of the year while emma was born by the end of the year)

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- you knew it was wrong to have a crush on your older brother's best friend

- but could you really be blamed?

- I mean, he's exactly your type !!

- tall, handsome, caring, kind, protective

- he was everything anyone could want in a boyfriend

- and you just couldn't help but fall for him

- and who was the first one to find out about that? well of course, your twin sister, emma

- at first, she was a little reluctant on supporting your feelings, since she knew how weird and wrong it is to like your brother's best friend

- but seeing that your feelings for ken weren't just a simple crush, but something much, much deeper, she couldn't help but find it cute

- just the way you would look at him with hearts in your eyes whenever he passed by

- the way you'd stutter and trip over your own words whenever you talked to him

- the way your cheeks would always heat up whenever he got close to you

- your crush on him was clearer than a drop of water

- although you were convinced he didn't like you back

- sure, he was nice to you

- would help you take care of mikey

- would always do everything in his power to protect you if you were in danger

- would always buy an extra dorayaki when he buys some for mikey cuz he knows you like them too

- but you just figured all of it was because you were his best friend's sister

- he knows how mikey was like after losing shinichiro

- he just didn't want his best friend to go through the pain of losing his family member again, with no strings attached and no further feelings involved.. right?

- WRONG !!

- little did you know

- how his heartbeat always sped up when you smiled at him

- how his hands would always become unnaturally sweaty when you stood close

- how he feels so relaxed yet so nervous as he listens to you ramble about your interests

- how anxiety eats him up from the inside at the thought of you being in any danger

- how many times he's touched you, hugged you, kissed you in his dreams

- it may be wrong to have a crush on your brother's best friend

- but it's even worse having a crush on your best friend's little sister

- that's exactly why he avoided you

- you always thought that it was because your crush on him was too obvious and he didn't feel the same so he didn't want to lead you on

- but nope, it's because he knows you like him

- and he knows he loves you

- but he also can't help but feel wrong for having feelings for you, especially since you're mikey's sister

- mikey may be a bit dumb, but he's definitely not blind.

- he could practically taste the tension in the room whenever you and draken were alone

- at first he thought you two disliked each other

- but then he overheard your conversation with hina over the phone one night

- he was baffled (to say the least) when he heard you say you liked draken

- he just had to confront you about it the next day.

"how long have you liked kenchin?" he asks, walking into the kitchen and catching you washing the dishes. your heart dropped when you heard his question and you nearly dropped a glass.

"I don't know what you're talking about." you said simply, although the lie was so obviously even fucking manjiro could tell.

"I know you think I'm dumb, but it's even more than obvious that you like him." he responded, clearly unamused by the fact you thought you could fool him.

after a few seconds of hesitating, you sighed, turning the faucet off and turning to face your brother. "it's just a small crush it'll go away."

"a small crush that lasted 3 years and still hasn't ‘gone away’?" now he was just mocking you. you gave him a glare and his unserious and teasing face became a bit more serious.

"look, it's not that I have a problem with you liking ken-chin, if I had to choose, I would rather you date him then some dork who wouldn't be able to protect you or would treat you like shit. it's just- I don't want you to be in a relationship with him because I don't want you to get in any more trouble.. I mean, there have been multiple times when you were in danger because you're my sister, imagine how much more danger you'll be surrounded by if you're my sister and ken-chin's girlfriend.." you were surprised when you heard mikey talking like this, he was never really serious around you, so you could immediately tell that the situation had shaken mikey much more than you. you sighed and gave your brother a small smile.

"I know you must be worried, but.. I have so many people protecting me, you, ken, keisuke, mitsuya.. I'm sure I'll be fine." you said, finally admitting you were inlove with draken instead of calling it a ‘small crush’, which it obviously wasn't. mikey seemed reluctant, but eventually gave in, giving you a smile in return before hugging you, something he hasn't done in awhile.

"in that case, let me help you out with ken-chin."

- you regretted saying yes to that idea with every ounce of your body

- emma's helping out was subtle but effective, while mikey's "helping out" was EVERYTHING but subtle

- like if your crust wasn't already obvious, your bitch of a brother made it THAT much more obvious

- my man would literally walk up to draken out of nowhere and ask shit like "if y/n wasn't my sister, would you still be nice to her?"

- at first, draken just brushed it off, but his questions kept getting more and more direct and more and more specific until one day, about a week before your birthday, he decided that it was the perfect time to ask him a question he have been waiting to ask ever since he found out about your feelings.

"hey ken-chin?" mikey mumbled out, his mouth stuffed with dorayaki.

"first off, don't eat with your mouth full." draken scolded, waiting for mikey to swallow before continuing. "what do you want?"

"would you date y/n if she wasn't my sister?" the question hung in the air for more than it should've. draken stared at mikey with wide eyes as the shorter blond kept chewing on his snacks as if what he had asked was just another normal question from him.

"why would you even ask me that?" draken asked, trying to hide the fact the tips of his ears turned red the second he thought of dating you.

"because y/n's birthday is soon."

"..and?" manjiro stayed silent for a few seconds, he didn't really think this conversation throughoutly before actually staring it.

"I wanted to give her the perfect gift.. so, I wanted to give her a boyfriend." even mikey himself was embarrassed after making up such a stupid excuse.

draken stared back at mikey, a rarely seen dumbfounded expression on his face as he tried to process whatever the heck his best friend was talking about, until he eventually responded.

"..would you let me?" he asked, not even looking at mikey as he did so. mikey was not only surprised because of the question, but because he never saw his brother so.. flustered? he definitely had to think about how he would answer that question. it was a good question, would he let his best friend date his sister? sure, draken was a good guy and all, and he knew he would do anything to protect you and make sure you're taken care of..

after awhile of thinking, he came to the conclusion that the only downside of your relationship would be the fact your boyfriend is in a gang, but even though he still isn't your boyfriend, your own brother is not only in a gang, but a gang's leader at that, and you've (almost) never gotten hurt since mikey's closest friends *cough* mostly draken *cough* were always there to protect you..

"would you treat her well?"

"yes." draken answered in an instant, which surprised mikey once again. he was used to ken being the calm and collected one, so seeing him so rushed to answer and so.. eager to gain mikey's permission to date you was definitely a change. after a few more seconds of debating, a smile appeared on mikey's face.

"then let's give y/n the best birthday present she has received so far.

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soon enough, all of toman's finders, including some of your close friends and (of course) emma, knew about mikey's plan for your birthday. mikey had never seen draken look so nervous when he was about to text you, he almost couldn't form a proper sentence that didn't sound stupid, so in the end, mitsuya had to tell him what to write.

"mikey and the guys planned your birthday out for tomorrow and -this location- I'll come get you at 6pm" *send*

you, being yourself and knowing your brother, thought nothing of it, since it definitely sounded like mikey, but you just knew he made draken pick you up on purpose, and to be honest, you weren't that mad about it either.

your birthday finally came up and you put on your prettiest dress on purpose, not only because it was your birthday but because you wanted to look good for him, and just as he said, draken came to your house on his bike at exactly 6pm. you checked yourself in the mirror before walking out with a charming smile on your face.

"you look great." draken said the second you walked out, which surprised you, since you really can't remember the last time he ever complimented you like this.

"thank you.." you mumbled and got onto the motor, reluctantly wrapping your arms around his waist for support. he smiled to himself and drove off.

soon enough you arrived to the location he told you about yesterday, but to your surprise, there was absolutely nobody there, not your brother, your sister, your grandpa, your friends, not a single person draken mentioned in his message yesterday.

"where is everyone?" you ask as both of you get off his bike, he then grabs your hand and starts leading you closer to the river.

"they'll come by later, it's just the two of us now." he said, a small smirk appeared on his face when he saw your flustered expression. on the outside, he looked calm and collected as always, but on the inside, he was nervous, panicking even.

"oh.. alright." you responded and gave him that same charming smile that always secretly made him melt. you were such a sunshine, his sunshine, or atleast.. soon-to-be his. once the two of you reached the river, both of you sat down on the grass next to it, your bodies unnaturally close.. he usually kept his distance with you, but now not only was he sitting close to you, he was so close that both your knees and shoulders were touching.

"I remembered the time you were talking about experiencing that ‘romantic sunset scene’ from a movie or whatever, so I wanted you to experience it on your birthday." he explained, not failing to voice out the "romantic", you remembered the time and your eyes widened, you weren't even talking to him at that time! you were sitting in the living room with emma, watching some romance movie and you mentioned that you would love to experience a romantic sunset moment with draken someone, and she very politely told you to "please shut up" because you sounded stupid to her and, oh well, guess it didn't sound stupid to him.

"which sunset scene? I've watched thousands of movies with a sunset scene." no you didn't. you lied. you only ever watched one sunset scene, and it was–

"where the two main characters have their first kiss." he finished the sentence and turned back at you with a slightly nervous smile, which was something you saw for the first time in years.

"are we the main characters? what, you're gonna kiss me now?" you ask, trying to sound unbothered and as if you were teasing him and not fuming from how flustered you were.

"would you let me?" draken asks suddenly, his smile dropping as he looks back at you with a serious expression, showing that he wasn't joking anymore. he gently placed his hand on top of yours while patiently waiting for a response. a chill ran down your spine and your eyes widened, was he actually serious? judging by his serious expression, his hand on yours and the fact his face was oh so close to yours was a clear answer to your question. you hesitated for a few seconds, but when you looked back up into his eyes, you subconsciously nodded.

"I would."

"great." and with that, he gently placed his free hand on your cheek and leaned in, gently pressing his lips against yours. it was a soft kiss, not hurried or hungry, but it was filled with unsaid emotions. it felt like it lasted an eternity, but in reality, it was no longer than a few seconds before he pulled away and while you were still dazed from the kiss, he whispered a soft "i love you" into your ear and pulled back to see your reaction.

you were flabbergasted for a few seconds, trying to process his words, and once you brain finally clicked, you whispered it back.

"i love you too.." he smiled at your response.

"will you be mine, sunshine?" hearing his words made and the nickname he gave you made your shocked expression into a wide grin and you could feel your eyes welling up with happy tears. you jumped into his embrace, exclaiming an excited yes and crashing your lips against his again, only to be interrupted by a loud "EEEEWWWWWWWW!!!" you both pulled away and saw mikey, emma, toman's founders and your friends walking up to you two while mikey and baji continued making fake puking noises.

"I said you two could date, but I didn't say you could make out in public!!" mikey exclaimed, yet he still had a wide grin on his face, obviously happy that he successfully made this birthday the happiest one yet.

you and draken whispered another "i love you" to each other before joining the group in celebrating your birthday.

the sun had already set, but draken knew his sun would never.

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© cfyslvr 2024 | please don't steal or repost my work on other platforms !! | likes and reblogs are highly appreciated !!

[montecarloedexistence]

Driving myself Crazy for three hours trying to make an incomplete Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics Simulation in Python

The following post is a rant. I try my best to explain and dumb things down, but I'm writing it with too much frustration at my code so I apologize in advance.

For those who wanna go oooh colors changing pretty here's a short clip of the animation I generated. There's a longer simulation linked at the bottom of the post.

Read on about how I made the simulation under the cut.

Okay, so, Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics. It's one method of Simulating Fluids (gases and liquids and plasmas basically) with computers. It's mainly got applications in two places, from what I know. One is in Science Research, and another is in Game Development.

There are two major methods of representing a fluid for a computer, one is with Particles, and another is with grids. I tried to make a grid-based simulation but that has a lot more math, and I can't do math without some meth so here I am.

Okay, so Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics. How does it work? Well, like it says, it's basically simulating the constituent and then smoothing them out to sorta get the hydrodynamic behavior. [3]

The Ancient Indian natural scientist Maharshi Kanada [1] postulated that everything in the world was made of tiny little things indivisible things called Paramanu. Democritus proposed a similar theory, that all matter was composed of small indivisible particles which they called "atoms" [2]. The idea of smooth particle hydrodynamics builds on top of that. If everything is made up of these constituent particles, then so must fluids as well.

These constituent particles (particles henceforth) are nice. They don't break further, and they undergo elastic collisions. (ACTUALLY, the actual molecules that make up a fluid are not like this, we're just assuming that they are cuz this whole mess is complicated enough without having to simulate intra-intermolecular interactions). Elastic Collisions, basically mean that the particles, when they hit each other, they don't lose the energy of motion (kinetic energy). [4]

An actual Liquid is going to have MILLIONS OF BILLIONS of particles. Actually, we have a name for something that big, it's called a Mole. [5] One mole is like 10^23 particles. (10 times 10 times 10... twenty three times). But my computer is a useless piece of potato that can't even be used to make a goddam french fry, unless you wanna heat up the oil with how hot this thing gets doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Okay sorry for the tangent. It's like almost 2 in the night and I'm hungry. My point is that my computer can't keep track of one mole of particles. It's too many particles. So, what I say is, okay, out of the one mole of particles, I'm going to keep track of only like say, 1000 particles. And then whatever results I get, I multiply it with a big number and scale it up to approximate the results of one mole of particles.

So, I just put a bunch of particles, and then I have to keep track of their positions, velocities, accelerations, and all that jazz. So if you remember 8th grade there were these equations of motion, where you'd change the values of position, velocity, and acceleration using some formulae. [6] Those formulae are continuous, which means for fancy sphancy reasons (Remind me to write another post about this when I'm in a better mood about this one it's super cool) I can't use. I need to do something called Discritize the equations. [7].

For that, I used something called the Explicit Euler Method first. [8] That's basically a method that Euler came up with I guess so it's got his name. Why does the Wikipedia article on this thing not have a history section but a section on "In Popular Culture" wth. Someone pls edit it if you know the history of this thing anyways.

The problem with Discretization is that, the way you're implementing it in computers, it's not going to be accurate. There's going to be some errors and they build up. So normally when you drop a ball from a certain height, and ignore the fact that heat and air and friction exists, then the ball hits the ground, and bounces back, it should go back to the height it started at. But because of the errors from Discretization adding up, the ball kept losing height. That's not good. So I moved over and implemented this thing called the Runge Kutta Method. [9] These methods were developed around 1900 by the German mathematicians Carl Runge and Wilhelm Kutta. If you're looking at the wikipedia page for this and wondering what the heck is this, same gurl same. I just asked chatgpt to implement this method into my code and it gave out something that I think is correct I'm not sure. But the point is that this is better and doesn't throw that much errors in calculation.

Okay now that that's done, I threw like a 1000 balls onto the screen, gave them random velocities, put them under an arbitrary downward gravity, and hooray. That covers the particle part of the Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics.

(YES I know particles don't go through each other like they do in this simulation. I'm supposed to include some collision logic, and I could not be bothered to implement it yet, because it is 2 AM and I AM GOING CRAZY with just this much.)

Now, for the Smooth part of Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics. If only I could use this as an excuse to pull out my smooth pickup lines but I'll stick to the physics for now. Basically, one way of calculating density is, suppose I have a box, I can toss in say 100 balls, and then the density of the box is 100 balls / box. The box has some volume, so I divide this unit I've got with the volume of the box. And each ball has some mass, so I multiply the unit with the mass of each ball. And that's basically what I do here.

Suppose, I take a point and then around it, I draw a circle. I first count the number of particles in this circle, and then divide it with the volume of the circle. (There's a few more steps here but i'm not bothering. I'm giving more importance to the particles closer to the point and less to the particles more far away but that's a mess to explain and I can't think of a way to explain it.). And then I multiply and divide by the mass of particle and volume of the circle respectively, I end up with the density at the given point.

But that's just for one point. If you sit and plot it for as many points as possible, then you get something resembling the density function of the system. What I've done here is basically divide my domain into a 25 by 25 grid, and I calculated the density at the center of each of the grid boxes. The more particles and the More Grid boxes you have, the more smoother your function will be. Here, not so much. It's a pixelated mess, but the same logic applies. I calculated the density grid for each instant of time, and then let the simulation run for like 1000 frames.

FINALLY the plotting. I just plotted the points where they are with a scatterplot, and then the background I put the heatmap of the density. And of course I didn't bother naming my axes, because that's the standard practice for plotting graphs. (When you're lazy like I am right now. Always label your axes in a serious graph)

So here's the GIF I finally generated after the trials and tribulations going for like 1000 frames. Let's hope Tumblr can render it pls.

I cited my references in the order of the paragraphs I wrote so deal with the non-linear citations. This ain't a research paper and it's way too late in the night for me to be bothered about this sorry. Why did I even bother with the citations if I was going to half-arse this thing anyways this is why you don't write stuff when half asleep.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ka%E1%B9%87%C4%81da

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atomism

[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoothed-particle_hydrodynamics

[4] https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elastic_collision

[5] https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_(unit)

[6] https://byjus.com/physics/equations-of-motion/

[7] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discretization

[8] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euler_method

[9] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runge%E2%80%93Kutta_methods

Okay yeah that's about it time to sleep for me. I just wanted to finish writing this post before I could sleep, cuz I know for a fact I ain't goina be in a mood to write it once I wake up. 100% gurantee I'll lose the motivation to write it once i wake up lol.

[chaos-and-recover]

Here's a silly ask. I'm in my 30s now but I was once young dumb and full of cum like any other teen boy. I got tall and bearded early looked old as fuck tbh thought it was great then but less great when I go in to buy cigarettes nowadays and some guy says thank you for serving in Vietnam and I have to say bro. Bro. I was born in 1992 and went bald at 21. Anyway that's not the point. So I'm this 15 year old former fat boy with the rage of being bullied for being fat stuck suddenly in a 6'2 body. Wrestling and free weights were all I cared about. I'd been in so many street and school fights and won all of them. Because I was kicking the shit out of bullies teachers kinda turned a blind eye. Also because I was undefeated in wrestling and got my school gold in nationals I knew I can handle my shit. So there was a door greeter at Walmart who at the time I thought was old as balls cuz I was fifteen right but the dude was probably like. Forty. Some short Mexican guy. And he caught me shoplifting and I said wtf you getting mad at bro you ain't gonna touch me door greets can't do shit. And he says boy I ever see you steal shit again I'll teach you manners when I see you off the clock. Guy also worked at the bar and thought I was older than 21 cuz I looked older. Like full ass Brigham Young beard and a receeding hairline, couldn't even drive yet, so he never ID me. Bold as hell I steal shit in front of him again. I knew I could take his old ass, I was in my prime. So I see him at the bar later that night and he meets me outside both of us sober. He says you really gonna get your ass beat over a Snickers? in front of the bar crowd and I go someone's about to and charged him. To say he beat my ass would be a lie. He didn't beat it. He obliterated my ego and body and soul there in front of everybody I fucking knew. Had me spinning around his 5'2 head like one of bruce lee's bo staffs and bapping me against the walls and sidewalk. My dumb ass kept standing up and he kept going you sure son? and I was like shit yeah. Well eventually I just kept my ass on the ground and he helps me up, asks what my name is, says he'll take me home since I walked there. Goes why did you walk? I say oh I'm not sixteen yet. And that's how I got permanently 86'd from every bar in my hometown.

This is top tier, excellent pacing and character development. The drama of a Wal Mart greeter who cares way too much about his job vs the kid who definitely needed to be taken down a peg (I mean. You did. Sorry. <3). A+.

[ghxst-system]

The systems misusing nonverbal and semiverbal upset me so much. We are bodily semiverbal. We have difficulty communicating and it's only worsened by our dissociation and schizospec stuff. We have many alters that are semiverbal and even have alters formed specifically to help communicate sometimes because we seriously cannot. And even then sometimes they fail to communicate for us.

It makes us upset seeing systems and anyone misuse them. We are dumb and we are slow. We have cognitive and mental disabilities. We struggle to think and understand a lot. And even we know that if we do not fully understand words that we do not feel comfortable using them.

It very easy to just not use words or to learn about them. Even as a ramcoa survivor and polyfrag system we still don't use subsystem because we cannot fully understand it. And it's okay to not understand. Sometimes it takes months before we use words and understand them. It takes us a while of learning between reading actual professional resources and personal experiences to understand. We still don't understand some of our own stuff. We still can't talk about schizotypal stuff even though we very much live it.

Feels like people see words and just go "Oh that me!" and don't even try to understand. Or try to understand what means beforehand. And cannot relate to that because always been scared about not understanding or misusing words so always try to make sure I understand best I can before using them. Because I know I can be very slow if not easily written out like a vocab word in elementary school. It takes time for us to use words to describe our own experiences because along with time accepting it, it takes time to even understand it. Like we know we polyfrag and ramcoa now, but took us months to learn and just as if not longer to accept. Because could not understand and comprehend.

I thought everyone would do this kind of thing. Look at professional sources and then try to understand them and also find people to help explain or people that experience it. And we are notoriously bad at research and stuff cause we are very slow and dumb. Does make us slightly salty about it though. But I know most people never mean harm. Still frustrating and hope more systems try to learn before hopping on using words especially when many are professional and medical words, not just community terms for funsies. They have meaning. They have purpose. They exist for reason. Meaning sticks to meaning.

(sorry for longer vent and sorry for if not word right cuz as we said we are dumb and semiverbal and struggle to communicate so tried to get thoughts out and stuff. Apologizing because very anxious and helps feel better if say sorry.)

But this just to say yes very frustrating and very glad someone says it. Semiverbal for semiverbal bodily. Nonverbal for nonverbal bodily. Permanent state. Not something go to. Important for these words to keep meaning when most of community already ignored nonverbal and semiverbal people. :( Systems too. Do not use nonverbal and semiverbal. Leave for systems that bodily nonverbal and bodily semiverbal just as they'd be for non-systems that are nonverbal and semiverbal.

(really hope made sense, always worry come off wrong, been treated poor for semiverbal struggles before :( sorry if too venty)

Hey you have no need to apologise!

I'm really grateful you resonated with this as a system who's also semiverbal bodily.

I just want to say, you aren't at all dumb okay? I hope you can learn to feel better about yourself and your disabilities and verbality

(Sorry for reply being short CFS is kicking our butt rn)

[otakween]

Digimon Girls Festival (Image Songs)

It's been awhile since I've done a post about "audio-only" Digimon media. Digimon has so many of these!! If you're curious this site seems like a good place to see all the info about the albums out there. Digimon-Basic is where you're going to want to go if you want to download the albums, but most of them are on YouTube too. I gotta say, this fandom is nothing if not super well documented! I'm impressed.

Loving the cover art for this (why do they all look like they're going to different parties though?) As you can see, this is a collection of image songs for all of the girls from Adventure, 02, and Tamers. No Frontier, unfortunately :'( With most anime, characters get 1-2 image songs, with Digimon they get like 5 for some reason (spread across different albums).

Image Songs

Ruki Makino - My Style (Listen here subbed)

A very fitting song for Ruki in terms of the edgy rock n roll style and her singing about wanting to stay true to herself. I found her singing about wanting wings to be pretty random though. I feel like they just stick that in anime songs cuz it sounds cool lol (I think one or two of the other image songs talked about wanting wings).

Favorite line was "I don't want to imitate anyone, I want to be me." I feel like what Ruki is struggling with is that she does care what people think of her a lot (hence her angsty facade) but really wants to break free of that and be her true self.

The lyrics were kinda poorly translated grammatically, but I've tried to translate Japanese song lyrics before...it's super hard. I feel like some things just end up sounding dumb in English and it might be better to go the localization route instead of direct translation (if this were an official thing).

Miyako Inoue - Yamato Nadeshiko Panic (Listen here subbed)

Damn, it's a good thing I know what a yamato nadeshiko is or else this song would seem pretty weird. The subber decided to translate yamato nadeshiko as "japanese woman" which...sort of makes sense but it leaves out so much context. To be fair...it's a tricky one (as I said in the previous bullet, translaton is hard!)

Anyways, this song wasn't super interesting. It was basically Miyako singing about how she wants to be an elegant, "ideal" woman. Low key trad wife vibes lol Nothing wrong with wanting to be a good wife/partner, it's just not something I relate to 😅

I feel like I never fully got a grasp on Miyako's character. The only thing I remember is that she was a fangirl and kinda boy crazy. There was an episode about how she's really outspoken I think?

Sora Takenouchi - Sky-Blue Wind (Listen here subbed)

It seems like a lot of these songs are about not being honest with yourself. It's all very Japanese lol. Sora is singing about putting on a brave face for the sake of her friends. I guess that's fitting since we did see her run away when she was upset in the anime.

She sings that she "likes her role" as the optimistic one...reminds me of Ted Lasso and Waymond from Everything Everywhere All At Once. I can't tell if this kind of outlook is admirable or deeply unhealthy.

Shaochung Lee - My Future (Listen here subbed)

This one was disappointing because I liked Shaochung. It was a super unimaginative song about Shaochung wanting to grow up. Like...I guess that makes sense, but it's a very obvious and lazy choice (with her being the youngest). Maybe she could have sung about her relationship with her brother or Lopmon/Terriermon?

I did think the "I can't see the after-10pm world" line was pretty cute/clever

Hikari Yagami - Reflection (Listen here subbed)

According to fandom wikis, this is a response to the Takeru song Focus which I wrote about here. I still feel weird about these two songs. Why would they depict Takeru and Hikari as a couple when that wasn't in the source material (imo)? I don't remember the 02 epilogue saying anything about them being together! Maybe the image songs aren't canon lol

There's something funny about Hikari calling Takeru's eyes beautiful when I just picture them as generic anime eyes. I guess blue eyes would be something to sing about in Japan. (I actually think Hikari's light brown eyes are prettier).

Juri Katou - The Color of Someday (Listen here subbed)

Sheeesh this one was dark (I mean...to be expected). It sounded to me like Juri was singing about being depressed and anxious, unsure how to live a "normal" life. The color in the title refers to that "normal" future that she wants to achieve.

A lot of the song seemed to be about masking and being afraid to show any vulnerabilities to the world. She also says she doesn't understand what love is or how to love (probably cuz of her crappy parents).

Looking back on it, I kinda wish they had foreshadowed Juri's darker side better in Tamers. She started out as such a goofy, comic relief character that her breakdown felt less real to me (also, I cared less because my brain had already categorized her as "generic background comic relief girl."). If they had shown a tiny hint of a crack in her facade sooner, it probably would have made her more interesting.

Good morning/Goodnight Calls

(These should be easy to find, they're in the same playlist as the videos above)

I don't really know what the point of these are, going to be honest. The album contains random voice lines (around 20 seconds each) of the girls saying good morning and goodnight. It reminds me of those Vtuber voice packs. Personally, I'm a big fan of Japanese oddities like this, but they seem very niche.

I thought the appeal would be to pretend that the characters are talking to me, but in the first voice clip Ruki is addressing her grandma...guess I could pretend to be her grandma lmao

Okay, Sora's wake up/goodnight call literally sounds like waifu bait (very breathy)...which is strange considering she's an elementary schooler. Who was this made for?

Some of these would make decent alarm sounds, if you're into that sorta thing. I think it would get very annoying very fast to have an anime girl yelling at me first thing haha

Sora and Miyako's were so vague and general that they could have been from any series. No mention of digimon or anything like that.

Why is Mimi showing up now but didn't get an image song? Wasn't she the singer of the group!? (Her voice lines were very shrill, my ears are bleeding lol)

Hearing cheerful!Juri after listening to her song feels...uncomfortable

I wonder if these were just improv'd on the spot. I want more backstory.

[teenrickwubbadubdub]

A writing piece of two of my dear friends. Morty C-137 and Eff- I'm sorry,that name sucks. Em. I'm calling them Em. Here it is.

Effie and Morty ( By Rick Sanchez D-127)

The day was happening. It happening,it was day. Then Evil Mor- sorry, Effie,dumb name,said," Hey,Pookie,look who I killed." Then Morty C-137 (the c stands for cunt,and the 137 is how many times Rick Prime should've hit him when he kidnapped him) said," Wowie,even though it would be in character for me to be scared and concerned, I instead am gonna kiss you even through you have nearly killed me numerous times and constantly do violent and evil things,but because you got mean words said to you by an old guy,it excuses you for nearly killing me and my grandpa, even though your trauma is more of a reason than an excuse, and you took hundreds of mortys from their families for nobodys goals but your own." Effie the Terrorist,slave owner and dictator,shook their head and said," Come here and kiss me,ya big lug." The two kissed. Then....LIGHTNING CRASHES! NIGHTHAWKS SWARM THE SKY AS HE EMERGES.........TEEN RICK (dun dun dun!) " Hey guys." Teen Rick said,forgetting why he was there. Morty says,"Oh,look who it is? The fucking [CENSORED] [REDACTED]". Morty and Effie high five,and [####] each others [#########]. Teen Rick goes," You guys are kinda dumb,to be honest. You're kinda stupid,the way you act." Effie stands up (I forgot mention,they're laying on a blanket) and says," Hey,don't talk to my shnuckums that way!". Morty says," Pookie,that was so manly,I might faint. Oh,I'm so dependent on you! You're my OOoooOooOoonly personality trait now! Somehow I consider hanging out with you better than hanging out with Rick! Maybe it's cuz you can legally kiss me and I'm attracted to you! Which kinda implies that I'm just attracted to myself! I also view a girl that I liked but I was still friends with as meaningless even though I literally killed for her multiple times!" Teen Rick raises an eyebrow," Uh...I.... wh-what? You know what-uh...you wanna hear a joke?" Effie puts a hand in their pockets,(they as in multiple people. They also put their hands in Morty's pockets because he's so dependent on Effie he can't even put a hand in his own pockets.) Teen Rick,with his chiseled jaw, shiny hair, muscular teeth and his strange choice of adjectives, says..." I'll take that as a yes? Uh.... Hey,you know what? I'll do some jokes from the audience." Morty raises a hand," Ooh! Ooh! Me! If...if that's alright with you,Effie..." Effie says,with a chuckle and a smirk that has lived through genocide that they have caused completely by themselves, " Sure,bitch." They smack Mortys ass. "Aw,geez,okay. Well,yeah,do some jokes about me,You fucking fuckhead! Fuck!". Teen Rick says, " That sounded forced- uh,okay. Hey,what's up with that hairline-" Effie stands even more up...somehow,and they yell, while charging at Teen Rick, " DON'T TALK TO MY LITTLE MOONPIE CHERUB THAT WAY!". Effie pins Teen Rick to the ground,and starts punching him in the face while yelling at the top of his lungs. Morty watches with a smirk even though he should be concerned because the whole point of him is that he's more human and concerned about the safety of other people,but oh wait,he's dating the person who's doing the violence,so it's fine. Teen Rick yells, " OH GOD JESUS NO NO NO OH THIS IS NO LIFE FOR ANYONE THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING IN THIS MULTIVERSE OH GOD THIS IS REAL FOR ME I'M SO MUCH PAIN HE'S EATING MY ARM HE'S EATING MY- AAAAAAHHHH!". Effie gets off of teen rick,and turns to Morty. "Heh...he shouldn't have awoken the alpha." Morty smiles and nods," It's like I say,baby sweetie pie, Hurting Someone's feelings is worse than senseless murder and violence." Effie and Morty leave while teen Rick is choking on the floor. Then Teen Rick Prime rescues him and heals him he doesn't die. The End.

[heyimcelery]

Okay so I watched all of Ninjago Dragons Rising s2p2! I've got so many thoughts and I'm dumping them all here in a long list. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

to start: Cole!! He's a family man! He's got a boyfriend and they hold hands and they care for their kids and Bonzle so obviously came out to them and omg I wanted to cry. The joy of acceptance. I mean come one she kept saying how alone she felt, they're found family, she was repeating that she chose he town name and identity and the villains were insistent that she wants a person but just a spell like come on

But there's more than that, I have questions I have concerns!! Like wtf happend on Coles quest?? With Sensei Wu??? Like he disappeared and turned up again and said he would explain but never did.

Cole also came back from that in his bolder form so did he figure out he could do it on his own then? Is that what he learned on his quest?? If so it's gonna be a little awkward when he tried to explain that to his bf Geo.

With part 2 I really want to see the whole gang meet them and talk and catch up on everything. Like cole has been missing since the merge and no one this season cared. At all. They hadn't seen him in ages- didn't even know if he was alive until drs1 but nope no worries or concerns. Not even a question of what he was up to.

When he came through the portal Zane wasn't worried or confused at all, just oh? You need some help?? Sure let's beat these bad guys and not worry or show emotions! Is a tearful reunion for my fav character too much to ask?? Cuz he clearly deserves it. :(

And then into both Zane and Coke this season!! Love them!! They've always been my fav duo (gonna have to start shipping geo/Cole/Zane as poly now) it was so fun to see them going around together with Bonzle. They had some great moments and I'm praying we get more in the next part.

On the other hand it was a shame they got such small roles- just seperated from the others as a way to help Bonzle. It means they didn't have the same lessons or knowledge the others got which is totally unfair!! They have a lot to catch up on. They also never got a chance to be part of the main battle

It's dumb but I was kinda hoping for Cole to show off his stronger powers (he always seems to get new powers every other season but that's a discussion for another day). Like sure he could use his robotic mech suit but that's been done before! He can do his boulder thing now (unless somehow he still thinks he can't which means he kept up that form for several days on his quest) and when he made that giant mid hut to protect his family!! I want to see him do that again! Let me man go ape shit to protect Bonzle.

And on another note, Geo my beloved, you should get a chance to shine with your powers. A chance to show off or at least have a talk about them with Cole.

Next up WyldFyre. I was worried they would make her the annoying comic relief cuz if her injury but her talks about losing loved ones and dragon culture and her home were really sweet and it was great to see some development so driven by battles. I love those too don't get me wrong but like I needed to see this side of her. And I adore her relationship with Kai, being besties/mentors/dad for her works so great for both characters.

I will be first to admit that

Kai wasn't really my favourite. If you couldn't tell I love Cole followed by Zane. Always have and likely always will. I suppose that early Kai reminded me too much of some guys form my class and they turned into shitheads and I've always struggled to reconcile Kai's image form theirs. He was always a little too brash, hotheaded, and too often written as stupid to fall into my good graces.

And yet this season I adored him. Of course I've never hated him but like this season made me see what all his fans (many many fans) see in him.

I thought Kai being the first to master such a new, difficult and crucial skill was incredibly satisfying. Form all the way back to season 1 he's been the butt of jokes- having to learn he's not the centre of the universe and sometimes it's others like Lloyd who are the chosen ones. That's all great but him now getting a starting role, his ability being fueled by thoughts of his family, by his childhood and by protecting is friends was just too good to ignore him. Love this form of his character more than any other I've seen.

And now Kai is trapped :(

I'm glad he's got Bonzle with him tho so hopefully they can have each other's backs (she's meant to be a POWERFUL spell after all) they'll need each other if they're trapped with those other 4 guys. If they can apparently demolish everything then I'm rather worried for the duo. Tbh I'm sure they'll survive just fine, probably making jokes at Cole's expense all the while.

On a side note, I found it super cute how WyldFyre was willing to protect and go down with Kai. Besties I'm telling ya

Now Jay. I've never thought too hard about him I know he's one of the favs of the fandom but like Kai I was never so besotted with him. Still a great guy and omg I feel so bad. One of his worst fears was always being alone and now stuck, confused, forced to hide such a fundamental part of himself.

On the other hand he's got a gun now so that's fun!!

And you can't talk about him without mentioning Nya. He worst fears being him forgetting hurts my soul. And she was so sure it could never be true that she snapped out of her nightmare state!! She's going to break when she finds out.

She's already grieving her own brother, we saw her break down into WyldFyre (more proof she's an honorary sibling by now) but now knowing what's happening with Jay, I'm saying the angst is going to be overpowering. It's a greek tragedy fr

Part 2 is going to be rough. Jay only had a single scene but it's already a sign for the worst to come.

Speaking of things being rough, Lloyd is going THROUGH IT!! give this poor guy a break. I do appreciate that we physically get to see the effects of all his trauma- that everything that's happened has real consequences for his character and the story but I can't help but feel bad.

I've also suffered from anxiety for most of my life so to see it in a character like that feels really personal to me. Hope he gets a little break though, god knows he deserves it.

Have to say it's pretty funny that Lloyd's had so much Oni trauma that he forgot that he's part dragon too. Yes ninjas dragons can do spinjitsu why are you surprised at this point

The animation this season has been incredible, the fights were beautiful the angles so interesting and dynamic and I could go on for hours about how much I love it. It's always great when kids -and even animation in general is treated with respect. It doesn't dumb it's ideas and stories and characters for the sake of it's younger audience, and that makes it so much better for me who is definitely out of the age range.

I have my more points to make but I've been adding stuff in and off for ages so I'll probably go through this all later. Thanks for reading, please I want to know your own thoughts too I love discussing that kinda stuff!!

<3

[genloss-confessions]

I know using twitter is generally a mistake but I'm still not over just... how stupid they all were over chronicle 0.

Like idk I just felt like so many people were like "omg small town lesbians experiencing a mystery!!!" And not actually. Analyzing what was posted.

Obviously this is parasocial as hell to speculate but I can't help but wonder if twitter being dumb as hell abt chronicle 0 is what caused the writing for it to screech to a halt.

Just cuz like. I know if I was trying to hint towards a deeper mystery and 99% of the replies focused on saying two characters are dating when that isn't even remotely related to the story I'm trying to tell. It'd kill my motivation so fast.

Also I'm not over a majority of people taking "JOB 5 TMRW NOT 6!!!!" As z having 6 jobs. Somehow.

.