#I have a lot of boredom avoidance and fear

[virgothozul]

I feel like a poopbag. Real world can’t fill my heart, but CJ can. So more photo study made into fictional gays.

[b0r3dtod3ath]

Slow domestic life with Sebastian

masterlist

word count: 517

-If you don’t work or have a day off: slow mornings: cuddles in the bed, hot coffee, breakfast on the balcony, sunshine, whispering/ low quiet tone.

Sebastian loves to watch you. Not in a creepy way. He notices little details in your morning routine. The slight change in your voice right after you wake up. He loves that every time you brush your teeth you lean on the wall. He loves when you do a little confused spin when you don’t know where to look for your favorite mug. He silently giggles when your face scrunches up when you take a first sip of your coffee.

For the first few months of his retirement the fear of boredom occupied his mind. It was soon erased as he learned how to appreciate the slower pace of life. For most of your relationship it has been long distance. Of course you would try to see each other as much as possible. He would invite you to his races and would always spend his holidays with you. But it was hard- not seeing each other for longer periods of time, not always being there for each other. You both hated it and tried to avoid it at all costs but sometimes he would have to leave for a weekend with an unresolved argument in the air. But now, he is grateful that he can be with you all the time.

-He’s so excited for spring; I imagine him having a little veggie garden, a few fruit trees and of course his bees. There would be an outdoor dining table on your terrace. He would love to invite your family and friends for some dinner and wine.

-Because of all this free time he has now he learned how to cook. He can make dinner on his own but he insists that you should cook with him so he doesn’t mess up anything. Obviously he just wants your company.

-Lewis stops by anytime he is in the city. You and Sebastian always insist that he stays at your place for a few nights. It’s like a little holiday for him. When he leaves you always give him at least two jars of honey. 

Speaking of honey- I feel like Seb would give it away to everyone. Family, friends, neighbors, even a random electrician that came to fix something.

-Lots of sitting together in comfortable silence. Just doing your things with each others company. It’s mostly reading books, maybe Sebastian sometimes writes in his little journal. 

-I feel like he has a set sleeping schedule. For sure in bed by 10 PM but he likes to just lay on the bed for a while before actually sleeping. But I also see him going to some clubs maybe - to spend some time with his friends.

Idk why but I don’t think he would be very cuddly while sleeping. He doesn’t hold you tight, he just has his arm loose around you. If you insist then he would hold you closer but he likes to have his space while sleeping. 

-sings in the shower.

[osleeplessflowero]

//Content Warnings: Blood, Violence, Drinking//

* Notes: - Gender Neutral Reader - Determination Soul ❤️

~"Knife" To Meet'cha🔪🌹~

The chill in the night air causes you to shiver as you hold your jacket closer to your body in an attempt to keep warm. The cold isn't the only thing giving you chills, however. Your eyes dart around, an uncomfortable feeling unable to be shaken no matter how hard you try to.

You can feel it..eyes on you in the shadows. Someone watching, waiting for the right moment to strike and catch you off guard. But they won't get you..not if you have anything to say about it. You pick up your pace, briefly spotting a silhouette walking behind you. Their speed picks up as well, sending you into a panic. You sprint under the streetlights, hoping you can find a local business that's still open to hide in.

"Running is just gonna make this worse for you!" The figure calls, making you furrow your brows. You take a few turns in an attempt to cut them off, frowning further when you realize you've hit a dead end. Of course this would be your luck.. you reluctantly turn to face the group of three men standing before you.

They're tall, intimidating. People you're all too familiar with around here, people who you've been told to avoid at all costs. And now you're face to face with them.

"We heard you were the one that killed our business partner. Our boss wasn't too happy about that."

"It was in self defense, he attacked me fir-" You're cut off.

"You wanted his money. That's always what it's about." The tall figure in the middle takes a puff from his cigarette. You scrunch up your nose at the smell. "I don't see why we shouldn't get payback for him..a life for a life."

"You wouldn't kill me out here- n-not where people can see you. It's stupid-"

"Call me a fool, but you're dyin' one way or another- I don't give a damn who sees."

Your eyes widen as they begin to close in on you, cornering you. You look around, praying to someone above and asking- no, pleading for a way out of this encounter.

A knife is thrown from above, landing at your feet. You look down at it in shock, trying to see who threw it, but unable to spot anyone amongst the shadows. Not wanting to waste time, you pick up the blade.

Killer has never grown tired of the air of the city hitting his clothes, making them flow as he soars over the rooftops, doing a bit of parkour and showing off as much as he'd like. Of course he has business in this universe, assigned personally by Nightmare to kill a target and spread negativity while he's at it. A typical Tuesday, in his eyes. Nothing too out of the ordinary. A few minutes prior he managed to successfully kill his target, and now was just..well, looking for trouble.

He kneels on the edge of one of the higher buildings of the city, looking for people to kill in order to invoke fear in those around them. There's not a lot of people out due to how late it is, making the chase harder.. He huffs, annoyed that there's nothing fun to do out here. Well, other than be a super cool guy, but that's all the ti-

He spots a group of humans chasing another, raising a browbone in curiosity. Oh? Gang stuff? He wonders what the person being chased could've done in order to piss three people off at the same time. Narrowing his eyesockets, he decides to do a CHECK to see.

Now that's interesting. Seems they've got some blood on their hands.. a pity they're about to die. Or..hmm. What if he just slightly interferes? Purely out of boredom, of course. He can kill somebody else later. Summoning a random knife, he holds up his arm, carefully aiming before throwing the blade down. Call it an experiment. He certainly hasn't done one of those in ages.

You spot the knife when it lands on the ground, picking it up with a Determined expression. Now this'll be fun..

You move one of your legs back, entering a fighting stance. The man in front of you spots your weapon, and upon trying to grab it from your hands, is met with a slash across his chest from you. Your eyes illuminate with a bright shade of red, an indicator that your Soul is ready for battle. It all happens so fast, you don't even realize how quickly and swiftly you're moving.

Charge, dodge, counter, stab.

One of the men cries out when you stab him somewhere fatal, knocking him onto the ground with your foot and finishing him off.

Charge, dodge, counter, slash.

You turn your head rapidly, slashing one of the other men that attempted to sneak up on you from behind. You continue the motion until he is no longer able to stand. Backing up a bit, you look confused as to where the biggest of the three had went-

"hey, heads up!" You hear someone shout from above, jumping out of the way of a massive blow to the head. Thanks, stranger.

Tightening your grip on the knife, you lunge at the man, pushing yourself up on his shoulders and launching into the air. He lets out a gasp of shock as you rise, Killer grinning wide as you fall rapidly down, plunging the knife through his head and sending you both to the ground. Pulling the knife out, you come back to your senses..your eyes returning to their natural hue. You drop the knife instinctively, leaning over and debating throwing up or not.

"not too bad."

You look over immediately, spotting a skeleton monster leaning against one of the closest buildings. He looks over you with a smug grin, a browbone raised. "a little amateur, but pretty good nonetheless."

"..You gonna snitch?" You ask, cautious around this stranger.

"nah. i'm not a snitch." He chuckles. "i'd like my knife back, though. i like keeping track of them, y'know?" He uses magic to bring the blade back to him, cleaning the blood off of it.

"..So it was you? You gave it to me? Why?"

"well, i like to cause a little chaos from time to time..and it seemed like you could use some help, so naturally i had to chime in." He twirls the blade in his hand with ease. "you're welcome, by the way."

You roll your eyes. "Whatever..I need a drink after all that shit."

Killer hums at that. He really doesn't wanna go home right now.. there's such a chill vibe to this city. Maybe he could..stick around just a little more..

"hey, how about i join you?" He suggests, earning a brow raise from you. "two people who know a little more than they should, just getting a drink together..how's that sound, human?"

"...I..guess that's okay. It uh..it can be to thank you for saving my ass back there. What's your name?"

"killer."

You look at his knife. "Well, that's a given, I suppose."

"got me there. so..where to?" He raises his browbones with a smug smile, earning a sigh from you as you turn back to the bloody corpses on the ground.

"Hold up a second. I gotta get rid of these before somebody finds them. All I need is another case on my hands.."

He grins. "allow me to help you with that."

"How?-"

He raises the bodies with magic, leans his arm back, and throws them as far as he possibly can. "tadaaaa."

"They- they can still be found out there-"

"trust me. they aren't reaching those bodies." He grins, holding an arm out for you. "c'mon, stop worrying so much. let's go get some drinks."

"Well..alright, I guess." You take his arm, walking with him to the nearest open bar. Would've been nice to know that was there earlier.

.

.

.

Surprisingly, Killer's..pretty easy to get along with. Even before you started drinking you found the guy to be quite a charmer, for a..well, a Killer. But you can't really say anything. You've become one yourself.

"oh my god, and don't get me started on my boss. he's so strict, like all the time- i just need a break from time to time, y'know?" He takes a sip of a drink he ordered. "like..it's just a lot sometimes."

"Yeah, I get that. They just keep pressuring you and pressuring you to get stuff done..how is anybody supposed to work under that much stress?" You swirl your drink of choice around in a glass. "It just makes your progress slow."

"THANK YOU." He gestures towards you, letting out a laugh. "somebody gets that! i just..don't understand why he doesn't."

"Maybe you should try talking to him about it sometime."

"yeah, that's like jumping into a tank of sharks. no way in hell. but..well, at least i can take breaks on missions from time to time, like this one."

You nod, looking down at the counter beside you. "So..are you going to be coming back to this universe?"

"i usually don't go back to universes i've already been through unless my boss has business." He looks to you, a curious glint to his empty eyesockets. "why? would you miss me?"

You avert your eyes. "No."

"bullshiiit, you're starting to like me. i can see it on your face. c'mon, throw me a bone-"

"Was that a skeleton joke?"

"ugh, i still do it by habit sometimes. ignore that. 'sposed to be the others' thing.." He frowns, earning a laugh from you.

"Well. I guess I would miss you." You look over at him. His browbones raise in surprise, not expecting you to agree. What a pleasant surprise. "You're..interesting company, to say the least."

"aww. wait, what do you mean by-"

"If you came back, well..I wouldn't be opposed to opening the various locks on my front door for you to come hang out." You smirk, causing the skeleton to blink in surprise, before mimicking your expression.

"yeah?" "Yeah."

"well, i uh..i suppose i'll see what i can do. if you don't change your mind by then."

You both continue to converse, before Killer gets a call, frowning as he finally hangs up.

"i've gotta go. but uh..see you around?" He points finger guns in your direction, earning an eye roll from you.

"Sure. Don't fall into the tank when you get back."

He lets out a laugh, giving you a playful nudge before shortcutting away. You revert to a bored expression once he's gone, paying and walking out of the bar, thankfully not too drunk to walk home yourself.

You've killed four men in the span of a week.. you're not quite sure how you feel about that yet. Entering your apartment and greeting a pet, you walk to your room and pass out on your bed, deciding to let the guilt and fear catch up with you when you're fully sober in the morning.

[gmalaart]

The Spectacled Beholder

Name: Doctor Emon Cavendish

Gender: Left it on the surface (he/they))

Height: 6'2" (188cm)

Occupation: Enquirer, working under the Honey-Addled Detective’s wing.

Prominent skills: Watchful, Shadowy, Persuasive

Prominent quirks: Subtle, Heartless, Hedonist, Steadfast

Reputation:

Dr. Cavendish hasn’t been in London long but they’ve surely been busy. It isn’t uncommon to see them skittering through alleyways and avenues alike, keen eyes flitting this and that way in search of opportunity. Not much is known for sure about them, just that he came from the surface and took to the city like it was his to begin with. However, there are rumours about a brother they apparently have on the surface, about their previous life being an overly sheltered one, or even about their academic pursuits being a front for activities tied to The Great Game. For now, the doctor hasn’t sworn allegiance to any faction yet, and their intentions remain a bit of a mystery to any prying eyes.

Personality:

SUBTLE; despite their eccentric appearance, Cavendish is nothing if not discreet. They’ve apparently spent a lot of their life avoiding people’s scrutiny and they prefer to be a fly on the wall rather than the centre of attention.

HEARTLESS; simply put, Cavendish doesn’t much care for the wellbeing of others. They’ve seen what it does to people, caring too much, and they’d rather avoid the hassle. Close relationships are quite alien to them due to this fact, but he’s amused when people try to form one (and someday, someone might sneak through one of his cracks)

HEDONIST; on the surface, the good doctor was said to be a bit of a shut-in, rarely leaving his family’s abode unless strictly necessary. Those restrictions are far behind them now, as they set out to sample all that London has to offer (especially the honey that their Detective friend is so fond of).

STEADFAST; despite their many faults, Cavendish is known to be a person of their word. That word may be bought with coin, secrets or favours, but outside of exceptional circumstances it is a matter of first come, first served.

+bonus: ALLERGIC TO BOREDOM; Cavendish has curiosity in spades as well as an overactive mind that can’t go very long without entertainment. A discerning mind will realise that this is the prime reason why they struggled in high society and why they decided to delve into Fallen London instead. Their smile is brightest when discovering something new and slightly scandalous (perhaps a bit too bright). Due to this they are also quite attracted to all manner of non-human beings found in the Neath.

Example Dialogue:

"Miss Bean,

If we are to cooperate in our investigation I must INSIST on getting rid of those wounds all over your person. I am acquainted with matters of the flesh and its rending (as I am sure you garnered from the scar across my own face, hah!) and I know that leaving a wound untreated is sure to cause unnecessary bleeding at the most inopportune time. If you were to leave a dripping trail of blood behind us right as our investigation is coming to its climax, why I fear I would have to abandon you there and then! And I would so miss your charm. Meet me in my lodgings within the next three days, I have some medical supplies left over from my latest errand for the Department of Menace Eradication.

Ever your servant,

Dr. E. Cavendish”

[dearmura]

new hair, who dis?

☆ cw. some swearing, (not beta read)

☆ pairings. idol! Ni-Ki × fem! reader

☆ synopsis. Jokingly replying to Ni-Ki's latest post, you expected to be left on sent for the rest of life. Instead, you get a reply back...you're joking right?

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

You sigh to yourself for the nth time that past hour, scrolling mindlessly in utter boredom. An image posted a few days ago catches your eye, one of Ni-Ki with his new blond hair. You scoff, could the company make it any more obvious they're having a comeback?

As much as you loved the new look, you couldn't deny your love for his previous Oreo hair. With a pout, you repost the picture, captioning to your few followers how much you hate hybe for changing his hair

As your eyes shift to the clock, you hiss, realizing how unproductive you're being

Peeling yourself away from your pillows, you shuffle your way into your kitchen, practically dragging yourself to your fridge with how lazy you're feeling

Grabbing a bottle of water, you bring it to your lips, about to take a sip when a buzz is heard from your phone

Not having any human interaction that day, you opted for checking the source, guessing somebody messaged you. Not to your surprise, it was nobody, but rather a notification indicating enhypen had made a new post

With enhypen's lack of content in-between promotional periods, you were thrilled to see an update. Shuffling back into your room, you lay back on your bed, clicking the post

You mentally squeal at the image of Ni-Ki posing for a selfie, double tapping your screen with so much enthusiasm one would've thought he'd come to life if you did so. In the midst of your fangirling, you came up with quite the stupidest, most delulu idea ever. To be fair, you had nothing to do, what else could a girl do to keep herself busy?

Opening up your dms, you search for Ni-ki's profile. You're hopeless, really

You scoff at yourself

Clicking on his profile, you conjure up quite the worst first message ever, failing at an attempt to be funny

Wait...have we met before? Cuz you look a lot like my future boyfriend

Before you back out of it out of pure cringe, you click send, immediately throwing your phone to the other side of your bed. You knew that idols don't even open their dms but the embarrassment lingered, nevertheless

After a few minutes of self-hatred, you open up your phone again, too bored to continue staring at the ceiling. Taking another sip of water, you hear a second buzz

You spray water all over your bed at the notification before your eyes. You slapped yourself to make sure you weren't seeing things, unfortunately, the sting on your skin confirmed your greatest fear that you were, in fact, not in a nightmare

I've got to admit, you've wooed me with that one

You scream into your pillow in pure embarrassment, avoiding the situation you got yourself into for a second

Your heart clenches once more when you hear another dreadful buzz

Leaving me on seen now? I thought you were interested, darling😞

You almost scoff at how dumb you looked right now. Nevertheless, you begin typing to not upset him further

If you're a hacker, this guy isn't even that famous, it's not worth it

You joke in hopes of lightening the mood, more for yourself though

Ouch

I come in peace

You giggle to yourself, still not processing your chat with THE nishimura riki

Sorry bub, if it makes you feel any better, I love your new hair, its almost as pretty as you

Almost

You don't know where all this confidence came from but all you know is that you're very obviously flirting with a literal idol. What have you done with your life...

Never thought I'd like being called pretty but here I am

He answered back wittily, making you scoff

Just as you're about to respond, your phone notifies you of a follow request...from him?

How about we make this our little secret, yea?

He texts almost immediately after the notification. Not entirely believing the current situation, you reply

Enough messing around

If you're gonna hack his account, just enjoy your followers and leave me alone

Rather than a text, you receive an image as a reply. A selfie. Of Ni-ki. One you know for a fact he's never posted on any socials

Yea? And what if I told you I wasn't a hacker, princess?

You almost cry, realizing your stupid pick up lines and attempts at jokes were actually received by the real Ni-Ki. Hesitantly, you accept the follow request

Yes, you were embarrassed, but who were you to pass up the opportunity?

Thanks babe��

He texts back teasingly

Your story from earlier that day pops up with a reply underneath, knowing immediately you were screwed

Wait what happened to liking my hair, princess???

You really hurt my feelings:(((

Blushing in embarrassment for the nth time that day, you couldn't help but want to shrivel up into a ball and die already

Oh God

I'm so sorry

I didn't expect you to see that

I really like your hair

It looks really good on you

Fuck I'm sorry

You panic, tears coming to your eyes, hit with the realization you just offended your idol. Before you could beat yourself up further, you hear another buzz

No worries princess, I like my old hair better too:((

Though I am still a little hurt

Don't think I'll forgive you for that one love😞

Maybe if you take me out I can leave it behind us...

You practically cry at this point. Was he trying to flirt with you? And lowkey asking you out? Knowing you weren't in the right state of mind, you ignore your thoughts, opting for leaving this problem for future you

I uh need to go to bed

Good night, I hope I didn't bother you

You mentally curse at yourself for how stupid you sound

Oh love you could never bother me if you tried

I'll be expecting a reply on that offer next time;)

Sweet dreams angel

Next time? God you were about to throw up. You quickly like his message before throwing your phone, utterly flabbergasted at what just happened. You squeeze your eyes shut, praying what just happened was some weird dream

Fin

Author's note: Wrote this for a drabble request but clearly got too into it🥹🥹

[xandermatthews2290]

My rankings on how likely I think all 13 remaining students killed Arei

I’m sure this will age perfectly fine, and I’m not about to be shut down when the series comes back

*Added some photos to make it more visually appealing, searched them up in my gallery and chose the first for all of them

13. Teruko, I don’t buy that the protagonist is gonna die this time and it’s fairly clear her character is gonna be here until the end

12. Rose, a lot of this murder seems to have been handled rather sloppily, the rope being under the spinny thingy, the note being in the trash and not flushed down a toilet or burned, while Rose has demonstrated a lot of awareness of minute details like how old painted walls are

11. Nico, their attempted murder of Ace was pretty poorly planned and I doubt they would have had the time to plan out Arei’s killing specifically, I also doubt their ability to beat Arei in a fight/knock her out, to snap her neck

10. David, oddly enough I don’t think breakdown boy is our killer, he seems to have no idea how the murder was committed and it doesn’t feel like he’s being setup to die until at least chapter 3, admitting to it at all is bizarre and there’s also his bonus scene of stopping MonoTV from releasing the murder motive, if he’s the killer then these are massive mistakes that he shouldn’t be making

9. Ace, him getting attacked by Nico is a pretty big reason I’m ruling him out early, I don’t believe he’d have been in the condition to kill Arei, hang her up on the swing set, all with a freshly sliced open throat wound , him withholding information is bad but it honestly feels in character for him

8. Arturo, admittedly the one I’m the least sure about, most of his scenes this chapter are him obsessing over Mariabella Rosales’ daughter, however his secret was one of the most in danger of being revealed, Eden being alive is the biggest argument against him since his secret got out regardless. Similar to Rose in the way that someone who’s smart enough to be a plastic surgeon should be better at disposing of evidence and not revealing his near murder of Eden

7. Charles, the dark horse for this case from my viewpoint, he had an incredibly negative reaction to his secret being revealed by J, and this murder involved 0 blood which only he would have a reason to insure that there wouldn’t be. Breaking her neck is an odd choice when blunt force and stabbing would be more accessible, stabbing in particular if Veronika’s priming claims from the first trial come back up. He seems to have taken over the traditional sidekick role for Teruko which is concerning considering both him and Eden seem to be struggling for that spot.

6. Eden, certainly one of the more popular culprits, but I have pretty different reasons personally, the biggest knocks against her surviving for me is that there are some things she’s been involved in that haven’t been explained, her fear that someone’s been following her when she meets up Teruko in the dressing room only for items in that room to become relevant in the form of the starchy hall of clothes. She also has the biggest spike in screentime this chapter with her getting the opening scene. However she is on the small side, and I question if she’d be able to commit a murder, much less for a secret she didn’t really care about.

5. Veronika, surprisingly both higher and lower on this list before, her secret hasn’t been revealed which is a decent knock against her, however her fear of boredom seems like it’s setup for later. Then there’s the issue of her being the main user of the theater room which lies directly adjacent to the playground with MonoTV calling out how you’d basically just need to break through the wall, Ace & Arturo avoid it since Ace gets easily scared and Arturo would be dealing with Eden and his secret so she would have the opportunity. She was also one of the most affected by Min’s execution which makes you wonder if she’d really risk her life the same way.

4. Whit, the darker horse for killer choices, his secret hasn’t been revealed and he’s taken credit for one that Rose threw away, it’s fully possible he’s telling the truth just really questionable to wait until it cycles back to you. He spends a lot of time around Charles and has an alibi which for me is a worse sign, if we’re going for a sad execution then Whit would probably be the saddest for Charles who could break away from him and become closer to Teruko for story purposes.

3. J/Julia Rosales/Moreno, I’m worried for her mainly because I feel like she hasn’t done much yet, she’s in the opening description for the chapter, has questionably similar proportions to Arei, and most notably the whole “not all that glitters is good” hasn’t come into play yet. Her only big scene is Arturo revealing her secret. She’s definitely a wild card and a lot of the crime scene involving ropes, gripping tape, flooding the room feel like they’d be easier for an effects artist. She’s also more likely than most to be near Arei prior to her storming into Arturo & Eden’s conflict.

2. Hu, I’m not super concerned for her being the one that killed Arei, however that isn’t exactly the merit for how the killer is determined, it’s whoever is the “most mastermindy”. She’s scarily close to David and her blowup about “giving her heart to him” feels like a very out of place scene unless there’s more we don’t know about. With about half the remaining secrets involving self harm/suicide, it isn’t out of the question for me to see her helping David kill someone for the greater good, admittedly it’s harsh but she’s also seen Xander, Nico, and Min all engage in their own murder attempts, wouldn’t it be better to get ahead and not risk Eden ripping Whit’s heart out of his chest in the meantime, and just help David the “inspirational speaker” back into the world to help more people. I do doubt her for a few logistic reasons like the fish and potentially flooded room, but if she just came up with the plan she would be the blackened according to MonoTV

1.Levi, and my official killer pick, it’s obviously not my favorite choice but he’s had a large presence in this chapter, and has been involved in several scenes with Arei. Him having her secret is suspicious to me, Levi has shown an ability to mask his frustrations before suddenly snapping, as seen during the first trial against Ace. He’s definitely strong enough to have killed Arei with the method Arturo claims to have been used, the setup could be entirely designed to make it look like it doesn’t need to be someone physically strong. I also question if he’d be the kind of person that would believe Arei’s suddenly face turn into being a nice person. His increased presence in chapter 2, connection with Eden and Arei, unrevealed secret, and overall limited room for growth makes him the most likely killer candidate.

[donnerpartyofone]

I saw this post a few weeks ago that was like a chart from a psychology text that described how different sorts of childhood trauma can produce different dysfunctions, one of which was (I *think*) Emotional Neglect -> Magical Thinking. I was so intrigued by that. Magical thinking is sort of an umbrella term for the belief in a causal relationship between two unrelated factors; it can include wishing on a birthday cake candle; the feeling that The Universe is telling you to call your ex because something reminded you of them; OCD-type rituals that you believe will ward off misfortune; the deeper meanings mis-assigned to mundane events that can be produced by schizo-affective disorders; and also religious convictions to some degree, although those are rarely considered a clinical problem as with anything that helps or doesn't seem to hurt the participants. There seem to be as many potential causes of magical thinking as there are forms of the thought pattern itself, and trauma is an interesting one.

It might be better to think of "trauma" as "helplessness" here. Magical thinking can help impose a feeling of organization where there is chaos and loss of any sense of significance. There was a lot of magical thinking going around in the gritty, depressed town where I'm from, and I often thought it was because of the persistent economic pressure. It's relatively normal for kids to be susceptible to spooky ideas, but many of the adults were also full of ghost stories and superstitions. I have one very sensible friend who is smarter than I am, who grew up there too, and we often reflect on this, which helps me know that this isn't strictly an idea I have due to my own social choices. My friend doesn't live in that town anymore either, but she's always digging up interesting stuff related to it, and one day she showed me the website of someone there offering his services as a paranormal investigator. He was in his 20s, and the site included a lot of unconvincing photos and a long, vigorous testimonial by the guy's mom. Part of me was dying to put it on tumblr, but it would only have resulted in unnecessary cruelty. I was as much a victim of magical thinking as anybody, and I think even when I was pretty young I was aware of what motivated me to be so naive and gullible: that a world full of ghosts and vampires and UFOs and such was preferable to what I normally experienced, which was a consistent sense of boredom and meaninglessness and drudgery and embarrassment and pain and suffocation in an ugly, flavorless universe whose nicer side was not going to be available to me. I had a lot of really damaging friendships with manipulative assholes and pathological liars because I was so very willing to believe the crazy things they told me, just in case any of them were true, because such a truth could change my whole life.

Sometimes I think it's amazing that I never wound up in a cult, although I guess those relationships were sort of like little one- or two-person cults. Once in a while I read about some crime involving young people who think they're vampires or something, and I have a deep feeling of pity, because I think I know what they were going through (except for the part where they think they can do whatever they want to other people). The sad story of Shanda Sharer involves a whole group of badly abused and underprivileged teens, some of whom thought they were witches or vampires, and it just makes so much sense to me that they would be overtaken by these fantasies of secret meaning and power. Recently I watched Bad Vegan on Netflix, something that I avoided at first because I thought it was just about rich douchebags humiliating each other--which is like, what else is new--and to some degree it is, but actually it's way more disturbing than that. Ambitious young raw food entrepreneur Sarma Melngailis was manipulated, isolated, and ultimately kidnapped by this sadistic freak who preyed first on her loneliness and financial fears by pretending to be a rich suitor who could solve all of her problems; then he preyed upon her feelings of personal insignificance and failure by convincing her that he and she had been selected by a cabal of extraterrestrial illuminati who would make them immortal. Sarma seemed completely broken down to me, and I was amazed by her courage in describing the scam she fell for, that she must have known would invite derision. Part of the documentary explores her youth as a kid who always believed she could become something special, and then mundane tragedies like her parents' divorce brought her back down to earth in a painful way, and it seemed like she spent the rest of her life haunted by the idea that she might just be an ordinary failure of a person. I think that's part of what made her so vulnerable to this psychopath, that he was able to access her secret dream of having a special destiny. I got one of my friends to watch the show and she was very frustrated by it because she just couldn't figure out what Sarma's problem was that would cause her to ever believe the things she was told. I tried to reiterate what I've said here, but it didn't seem to mean anything. Ironically this friend is a practicing witch with formal beliefs in the supernatural, including that people can awaken special powers within themselves, but I guess one man's magical thinking is just um not another man's magical thinking.

I still have a lot of magical thinking going, but it doesn't have the same character it once did. I tend to think of it more as "symbolic thinking"; I have a hard time accessing senses of meaning and hope, let alone any kind of self-belief, and sometimes symbolic gestures and concepts can provide that access better than my own direct, practical attempts ever could. It helps that I have a basic agnosticism about the invisible structures of the world, like it's easy for me to believe that there is more to life than what comes in through the five senses, even if I don't pretend to know entirely what that "more" is. That may help me believe that "anything is possible" and I shouldn't give up, even if I direly want to and I know I'm being kind of irrational. Magical thinking can be a double-edged sword, but maybe it's better than nothing.

[aziraphales-library]

Hello, hello, First of all, thank you so much for your work! Your library has helped to find so many awesome fics! :D There is just one question/fic idea I haven't found yet, even though I am sure something similar has been done before: Do you know any fics where Aziraphale and Crowley have sex, not (only) because of desire, but simply because humans make it look like fun and they're curious, want to try it out and they do it with each other because it seems like, idk, the most logical thing to do, or because they're already in love or something? Again, thank you for your service and have a nice day! :)

Hi and you're welcome! You may be interested in our #inexperienced aziraphale and #inexperienced crowley tags for similar fics to this. Here are some when one or both are curious about the human experience of sex...

A Little While Longer by IneffableToreshi (E)

In the Garden of Eden, a demon fell hard for an angel. Later, the angel is upset, and the demon thinks he knows a way to cheer him up...

When a Demon and an Angel Make Love, They Forget They Aren't Human by boredom (E)

Aziraphale has realized that with Heaven no longer controlling his every move, he's now free to do what he wants. And he wants to do Crowley.

Crowley, of course, is ecstatic and more than willing to fuck Aziraphale into the bed. Perhaps they shouldn't have forgotten they're not human, which means human structures may not be strong enough to support them.

Earthly Pleasures by AstroGirl (E)

Aziraphale has always thought that human sex looks like a great deal of fun. Perhaps now it's something he and Crowley can enjoy together.

Five Times They Weren't Very Sexy and One Time They Aced It by ZehWulf (E)

“Have you ever wondered what it feels like?” Crowley asks while contemplating the dregs at the bottom of his wine glass. He’s aiming for philosophical but fears the faint wheeze at the end of the question might have given him away.

“Have I ever wondered what ‘what’ feels like,” Aziraphale asks finally.

“Sex,” he says, much louder than intended or reasonable. They both wince. 

“Oh, have you never…?” Aziraphale asks with polite disbelief.

“You have?” Crowley demands.

Look, when you're largely inexperienced sex-favorable asexual ineffables, it takes a bit of practice, a lot of communication, and some bull-headed persistence to get your sex life in commendable working order. Or, five times things got (hilariously) awkward during sex, and one time after they've got it mostly figured out. A companion fic to "Scratching That Itch." (Sex acts, such as they are, tagged per chapter in chapter notes!)

The ducks and the bees by Yoite (E)

"Um", the angel cleared his throat. "Well, as we know, when humans like each other, sometimes, they, er, give each other a.. special hug."

"Are you asking me to sleep with you?"

Aziraphale wants to investigate what this whole sex malarkey is all about, but nothing goes according to plan.

Chemistry by Twilightcitysky (E) (WIP)

Aziraphale and Crowley have been living among humans for 6000 years, but there have always been parts of the human experience they've chosen to avoid (like allergies, head colds, and having to use the loo).

They've also never let hormones get in the way of making rational decisions, because they didn't have any hormones to speak of.

That's all about to change.

- Mod D

[kyokutsu-sama]

IM IN LOVE with your volg and the way you write the characters ♥️💖💗

I have two requests but you can do only one of you want too, it's up to you: The captains reaction to a reader who is always sleeping being a monster on the battle field and/or a reader who is half hollow that has a personality like Nezuko from demon slayer

A/n: I hope you're well and I also wanted to say that I am very happy that you are enjoying my writing. This inspires me a lot, thank you❤️🥰

Of the two requests you suggested, I decided to write about the first one. I hope you like it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shunsui :

He knew you were ruthless and that the battlefield was something you loved. Both personalities contrasted with each other: Him for being calm and avoiding fights and you for being serious, always looking for a good fight and making the most of every minute. He couldn't help but smile every time he saw you sleeping so peacefully that sometimes he had to wonder if it was really you there. Your change in personality sometimes left him speechless. He trusted you enough to know that you wouldn't drag a finger on him to hurt him, but as a precaution, he avoided being close to you when you arrived from a mission with your blood still hot. He preferred to let you calm down over time and only then come to you. He feared you a little. "Y/n is a menace, I'll wait until everything is calm" He said seeing you enter the room

Kenpachi :

So, I think we know that this wouldn't be a problem for him since he's just like you on the battlefield. He would really be happy to know that you have the same bloodlust as him when you fight someone. That makes you two a wonderful duo. However, he himself is surprised to see that you always sleep most of the time like a little angel. Until you wake up… He smiled whenever he saw you all curled up on the mattress, waiting for someone strong to come and call you to fight and guess what? He'll be the one doing it just to get out of boredom. "I really didn't want to have to wake you up like this, but you really look good enough to start a good fight"He said, giving his typical sadistic smile He wouldn't miss an opportunity to do so.

Gin :

This man, in addition to appearing to have a cute and adorable air, won't miss the moment to make jokes about the subject. That's why I love him. He knows that you are tough to fall and that you are always on the front line when there is a fight in which everyone is present to fight an enemy. He doesn't stop admiring you for that. But when he sees you always taking the afternoon off to spend it in your room sleeping, he can't help but chuckle, seeing your personality completely change into something so fragile. He thinks about approaching you so he can caress your cheeks, but he refrains. "It's better to let her sleep, she might wake up and cut my hand" He says leaving your room and closing the door

Jushiro :

He's a cinnamon roll and even though he knows you're like that, he's always friendly with you. He admires your strength but at the same time fears it, especially if you lose control during a fight, something he can't help but shudder at. Because he's a peaceful person, he loves seeing you have a little of that side too, especially when he sees you sleeping like a log when you're not fighting. "So calm that it doesn't even look like the same person"He giggle Because he fears you, like Shunsui, he tries to keep his distance from you when you come back covered in blood and sweat. He likes to leave you alone for a while until you cools down and then he will come to you to offer you tea.

Shinji :

This man plays with fire much more than he should. Just like Gin, he will also make a little joke here and there just to see you look at him sideways, which he responds with a mocking smile. The knowledge that you were a beast didn't stop him from approaching you, unless you were fighting completely out of your mind or when you were sleeping so well that he was afraid to make a sound. He smiled and took a moment to see you lying down and looking so innocent that it didn't even seem like you would kill the first person who appeared in front of you just because you felt like it. "Wow, look! Looks so cute now that doesn't even look like it's a danger in person" He laughed If you woke up at that moment he would certainly run away so quickly that his shadow would be left behind.

[hmshermitcraft]

Grian is a simple fungi fae living a boring life in an old, old forest.

Grian gets humans visitors, he doesn’t kill them out of curiosity and boredom.

They come back with more humans, and build a little village next just beyond the borders of his forest, a place far from any other human settlements.

Fungi Fae Grian now has neighbors, and if he is lucky, they won’t be too terrified when he greets a mustache-having one thats straying close to his borders.

-TeratoTomato

The humans are respectful of his land in a way that others haven't been. Though they cultivate areas for farmland, their waste produce forms big composts for his fungi to grow. They rotate out the fields so they don't kill the land completely, and they replant trees for each one they cut down.

It's fascinating to watch them progress. They don't wander far into the forest, only as far as they need to for resources. Grian enjoys following them, and decides to be kind and leave their chalk markings on the trees untouched.

The mustached one seems younger. He keeps coming closer to the forest, but not seemingly for a specific reason. It's interesting. Grian might even say it seems like he's curious about something.

Well, Grian might as well give him something to be curious about! He tries not to be scary. He doesn't even try any of the Fae tricks he knows! Not that he really... Needs to. This human would fall for every single one - surely the humans should've taught him better? He told Grian his name immediately! They need to give him silver, or something, jeez.

What's more surprising is when the human, Mumbo, keeps coming back only to talk to Grian. Grian has a fun game of making him jump each time, popping up where he least expects it. They'll sit and chat about anything and nothing. Grian learns about the humans in the village from Mumbo (oh he'd get so killed and/or kidnapped by any other fae), Grian tells Mumbo stories of the forest. He even teaches Mumbo about the fauna and what it is! He never lets Mumbo stray too far into the forest, though. He's not sure what the humans would think of that.

Then one night, Mumbo falls asleep as they're chatting. It's growing late, he'd usually have gone back already. Grian's pretty sure it's already too dark for humans to see without assistance.

He picks Mumbo up carefully, the mycelium beneath the ground guiding his way through the darkness and towards the village. He tries to avoid any humans, but one manages to surprise him. In more ways than one.

"Oh, there's Mumbo, thank goodness, we were starting to worry." The human doesn't attack Grian. They don't even accuse him of anything, just ushering Grian into the village. "You must be the supposed Fae he's so interested in. Thanks for bringing him back, he's always been a bit of a spoon like this. I hope he's not caused you any issues."

This human is Iskall (Grian can tell by the missing forearm.) They tell Grian which house is Mumbo's, to put him on the sofa ("He deserves the sore back.") And then he invites Grian to eat, they have some leftovers from dinner.

Grian decides to throw away his fears, accepting the invitation and sitting down with the humans. A lot have already gone to bed for the night, but Iskall introduces him to the ones that haven't. A lot seem very interested in his relationship with Mumbo. Grian isn't sure what to make of that.

Mumbo turns up the next day with a basket of freshly baked goods as a 'sorry', 'thank you' and 'Stress wouldn't let me leave unless I gave it to you.' Grian asks him about the questions the humans had about them.

Mumbo laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck, "They, uh, seem to have this impression I have a crush on you."

Grian hums. "And do you?"

"Um, I mean- uh-"

Grian creeps closer. "Because, let's say you do..." He rests a hand on Mumbo's hip. "How would this make you feel?"

"Good! Very good, in fact, um. Yes."

Grian laughs. He guesses he's got to teach Mumbo how to not get kidnapped by the Fae now.

[22ayla19]

Can I ask for a request for Muras (eleceed)

With a vampire reader that like him and wants to taste his blood cause it smells good, but she avoids him because of her urges, so he thinks she hated him instead

Note: I apologize if this is not quite similar to your request. It’s just that before that I had a couple more requests with Muras and the Vampire! Reader that I decided to combine everything into one Fic. I hope you don't mind 🙏

As a vampire, you and your clan to which you belonged lived far from people. The people themselves considered you demonic creatures, capable only of killing people, but the truth is that although you feed on blood, you can also live without it. You feed on blood only in order not to lose your abilities, because your abilities completely depend on the amount of blood that you consumed, but taking into account that even with a small amount of blood consumed, a vampire is stronger than an ordinary person, vampires are not particularly they tried to harm people, unless they, in a fit of fear, wanted to kill vampires, then they would go against people.

Of course you're still young for your clan, but you have more than enough curiosity. Your clan stayed away from ordinary human life, but on the contrary, you wanted to see the human world. As soon as you came of age, you left the clan and began to travel around the world. While traveling, you met a lot of new things, including people with superpowers. It was quite a shocking discovery for you, because you believed that only vampires had super powers. Considering this fact both dangerous and very interesting, you decided to join one such organization, posing as a very capable newcomer among the awakened. That’s how you ended up in the organization run by Astra.

Thanks to Gah-In, you were able to quickly adapt to the organization and learn more about the world of the awakened and their goals, which did not particularly please you, but you looked at this whole situation from the other side, the awakened considered you vampires to be just a myth, a fairy tale for children, so that scare them, therefore they would not attack you even if they knew. The awakened ones considered themselves to be something above ordinary people, although they themselves were no different from them, and the presence of super beings like vampires would simply amuse them, because they would consider them insignificant.

As a result, you simply decided not to tell anyone about your essence, because this does not promise anything good or anything bad.

But there was still one moment that forced you to put yourself at risk of revealing your identity. You were interested in one awakened one named Muras. Many people thought he was boring, but despite this, you felt that something was wrong with him, as if he was hiding his cunning personality behind the facade of boredom. For some time you tried to talk to him, but his silence alone hinted that he did not want to start a conversation, so you had to postpone a direct attempt to get closer to him. Whenever possible, you watched his manners and actions. To be honest, I didn’t find out anything new, just as he seemed to you at the first meeting with a boring façade, he always remained that way.

However, you would never have thought that your interest in this man would increase after you smelled his blood. A rather rare type of blood, but at the same time very useful for you as a vampire. The rarer the blood type, the more powerful the abilities of the vampire who sucked that blood. Of course, you wanted to take a bite of the pie to become stronger, but the problem is that Muras is quite cautious and vigilant. Since you wanted to taste this blood, that means you were taking a more serious step. Take control of Muras's mind. This ability was found in all vampires and also thanks to it you could erase the memory of the victim so that she would not remember anything. You didn’t like to use this ability, but your thirst made itself felt and you decided on this method.

As soon as the opportunity arose, you took control of Muras’s mind and dragged him away from prying eyes to take a couple of sips of his blood.

You were about to pierce him with your fangs when you felt him put his hand on your back and say:

- You could have just asked, and not taken control of your mind, - realizing that you were in a not very pleasant situation, you immediately jumped to the side, forgetting to hide your fangs, - Why were you so scared? Are you shocked that I know you're a vampire?

- I won’t hide it, I’m really shocked by this, - you answered the man with suspicion.

- This is not surprising, most of the awakened people know about your existence and many are even members of the same organizations. Apparently, you belong to a clan that did not want to interfere in the activities of people and the awakened, since you do not know about this fact, - a smile appeared on Muras’s face. He became amused by your reaction, which made his interest in you increase.

You didn't even know what to answer. Your parents didn’t tell you about this, and apparently, no one in the clan was eager to talk about the outside world; everyone maintained confidentiality.

- What's happened? Don't want to try my blood? - Muras asked with mockery.

-Are you sure you want to become my blood donor for the rest of your life? - Lie. There is no such thing that after a vampire bite, the victim becomes his donor forever. This was an attempt to take on the weak Muras and, perhaps, find out more about other vampires among the awakened.

- It’s not a pity to give to such a beautiful vampire. Only on the condition that you tell me why you joined our organization?

- Curiosity. As you said, I belong to a clan that maintains confidentiality and does not have contact with the outside world, honestly, I don’t even have much contact with other clans, so I wanted to know about the outside world, and so I came across you awakened ones and it became interesting that you. What kind of person are you, - you answered honestly, although understanding Muras’ suspicions, you didn’t think that he would believe your words.

- That's how... I noticed before that you are quite curious about everything that is ordinary for us people, but I didn’t think that you were a vampire. Now I am sure that you are not harming our organization. Well, since you started your business, then finish it. I will not resist. And to be honest, I’m even wondering if it hurts if you bite and how will I feel during this process?

- I can’t answer you, because I’ve never asked anyone. However, I have a counter question for you. How were you able to bypass the mind control? - You asked, more relaxed after Muras’ words.

- All awakened ones have a certain level of immunity against vampire mind control. We learned this a couple of decades ago. The more awakened one is, the stronger his immunity to mind control. Are you satisfied? - A mischievous grin appeared on Muras’s face. He loved seeing you so serious in a situation like this.

- More than. Well, since you are so interested in knowing whether I bite painfully, then let’s get down to business,- without looking into Murasu’s eyes, thanks to her hyper speed, she approached the man and instantly bit him on the neck.

"How shy she is. She didn’t even look me in the eye, she went straight to the point so as not to be embarrassed. She’s cute.” Muras thought as you carefully sucked the blood out of him.

As you expected, his blood gave you much more strength due to its rarity. You already felt the power seething inside you. No matter how greedy you were at the moment, you had to stop, because despite the fact that a man is awakened, he is still a creature that cannot exist without blood in his body. When you pulled away from him, you didn’t notice that a drop of blood had leaked out on your lip. Muras, of course, noticed this and wiped the blood from your lip with his thumb.

He expected the bite to be much more painful, but all he felt during the bite, and even after that, was an indescribable euphoria that grew into uncontrollable excitement. He definitely enjoyed the experience. Still, you are quite an interesting person, which will relieve his boredom, so why not try to become a bag of blood for a vampire like you?

He will definitely not regret his choice.

[falasteen7urrah]

i want to share a piece i wrote during the first black out i experienced in gaza during this ongoing genocide.

With the threat of the ground invasion looming around, all 30-40 people gathered. My aunts relative decided to share stories like ghost stories at a sleepover.

During the 2008 war there were two phases of the ground invasion. Phase I, IDF soldiers came in, they killed and bulldozed at random, they separated women and children and told them to run. They then shot at their feet, “for fun”. Phase II, in some Northern Gaza cities IDF soldiers went door to door rallying every male. My aunts SIL tells her firsthand recount of why her husband is scared. That he and her father-in-law were taken down to the basement in troves, stripped naked, blindfolded and psychologically tortured. Some of the techniques included that the soldiers would call out a name, bring them to a corner, shoot near them, again, “for fun” all while the rest of the men would believe they’ve been killed. They did this for hours, amongst other things.

Ground invasion would be more of a scare some nights than others. Some nights it felt like soldiers would be right outside the door. We joked about barricading the door but my uncle said that would all be for naught as the cement wall was a lot easier to break than the metal door. So unless we were thinking of how to barricade the walls, we were sitting ducks. Not that there was anything to be scared of, of course [insert eyeroll].

War, a testament of man’s faith.

Fear is interesting, throughout a war it manifests differently. Sometimes debilitating, sometimes a myriad of physical manifestations, sometimes only felt deeply when expressed out loud.

October 27, 20:00.

Gaza, a territory, cut off internally and externally. With the bombing of At-Tisal all telecommunication was cut off. A flurry of thoughts plagues your mind. I had family and friends in northern Gaza, I had family on the main road, we were located closest to the eastern border, would they sweep in from the north making us safe or will they come in through the entire border, how long will I have to mentally prepare myself before they’re at our house? Ten, five, three minutes? Will this be Phase I? Merciless killing, which actually when thinking of ground invasion sounds like the most attractive option.

Being a female there is one constant fear. Whether in a warring territory or the safest first world country.

“There’s never been any history of IDF soldiers raping any Gazan.” Oh, thank god. I feel so much better. Sarcastic of course, but also settling in a way. However, I don’t know how true that proclamation was, yet in the moment it was the most comforting thing to hear. So I don’t need to be punched in the face, good to know. My sisters and I talked a lot about that actually, being punched in the face, deforming my face to be unattractive, something women used to do in vietnam and other war zones to avoid being sexual assaulted…

Outside men were gathered, an old radio was pulled out, only one radio station was a available, it was in Hebrew. An old man who was imprisoned countless time and his young adult son began translating. They had invaded, they came in by the north. Al-Shifa hospital was now marked, the largest hospital in Gaza, the hospital I volunteered at the third day of the war, home to over 80,000 displaced. Would they bomb it now? In an hour? Leave it until the last day, keeping everyone in a unique state of fear?

My dad pulled out a Motorola phone from his backpack. Huh? We all looked around in our bags if we had an aux cord headset, my mom finally found one, we plugged it in and radio sound came to life.

Boredom comes with war. That’s not common talked about and probably needs a whole thousand words on it itself for one to grasp the blandness and boredom in war. How does radio work? How do landlines work? Sound waves?

What does a blackout mean? Not only no internet, no way of hearing or reading or seeing what’s going on, but no way of communicating with the people in Gaza. Family and friends, we’re cut off. We have no way of knowing who will live and who will die, which happens every night but there’s a difference when the essence of ground invasion plagues the air.

The radio played all night long, and ever night since.

What to say? We’re alive, we’re safe, nothing happened. Except stuff did happen, not the horrors of ground invasion just the nightly norm. People died, people are dying, streets and cities flattened beyond recognition, more homeless, more displaced.

I connected to the internet. More dead, more injured, more, more, more. Amongst them, a friend. Not having internet was horrible, but off from the world, but when you do connect and all you see is death, death, death you start to avoid connecting anyways.

[cosmic-comet-19]

The Stars to his Moon: Part 5

"...make sure you get Sirius' set, not mine..." the voice of James drifted after him. "Don't know why my bishops keep running away..."

Remus rolled his eyes, having volunteered to fetch a wizard chess set for James and Frank back down in the common room. The truth was, he wanted a ciggy in peace - he knew James couldn't stand the smell of them, so he took moments for himself every so often up in the dorm.

Casually pushing open the door, he spied Sirius' wizard chess perched on top of a precariously-stacked pile of books.

"Accio cigarette," he muttered, and a small tin box flew towards him from under his bed. Taking out two, Remys tucked one in his robes and one expertly between his lips.

"Want a light?" came a drawl beside him. Remus jumped, the fag almost falling from his lips.

Behind his curtain, Sirius sat crossed legged on Remus' bed. With a raised eyebrow, the latter twitched his own curtains open a few inches more.

"If you'd be so kind," he replied, curious. The Black heir clicked his fingers and the end of Remus' fag caught alight instantly. Taking a long drag, he fixed his eyes on Sirius, who suddenly avoided his gaze. Something crackled under Sirius' knee, and Remus waited, before clearing his throat.

"You ok?"

Barking out a laugh before he could stop himself, Sirius pulled out a quivering red letter, clearly desperate to be opened.

"My mother," Sirius explained unnecessarily, boredom masking the uncertainty in his voice. But Remus heard it all the same. Wordlessly, he flicked his wand toward the door, closing it softly. He met pale grey eyes, unknowingly betraying boyish fear so unlike the brash and confident flirt Remus knew.

"No way around it," he said steadfastly, and Remus shook his head.

"Ignore them. They don't know you."

"Remus-"

"They don't, Sirius! They are the worst excuse for parents I've heard of - and trust me, I've heard a lot."

Sirius sighed, then motioned to the cigarette Remus was intermittently puffing on.

"That any good?"

A grin tugging on his lips, Remys handed it over wordlessly. Thoughts about having corrupted the posh boy would have to wait, he told himself sternly.

"D'you want to be alone?" Remus ventured, knowing immediately that he would hate for Sirius to say yes. He didn't think he would...

"No." Sirius puffed out a small ring of smoke, coughing slightly. His eyes were raw and genuine, younger than Remus have ever seen them. "No. Just. Stay."

Remus' heart leapt, but he knew that's not how Sirius meant it. Still, he thought.

Quickly, Sirius ripped open the scarlet envelope, and the Howler rose into the air.

"How dare you disgrace the Noble and Most Pure House of Black!? Joining the Gryffindor quidditch team! Duelling with your brother! Befriending half breeds and blood traitors! Mudbloods! You will answer for this in July, mark my words, Sirius!"

After the Howler had screeched its final vile word, it shredded itself into a thousand blood-red pieces. Silence descended, but the instant Remus saw Sirius' blank, scared expression, he took his longest drag yet and interrupted the silence:

"So, your family are vile."

Despite himself, Sirius laughed, the unexpected amusement jarring.

"Didn't know you had it in you, Remmie," he drawled, Howler forgotten. Remus rolled his eyes.

"I hate that," he grumbled, watching the dark-haired boy carefully. Mischievously, Sirius smirked.

"Do you, Remmie? I think you quite like it, actually."

Rolling his eyes, Remus took another drag.

"Bet you'd like that," he replied, without thinking. Taken aback for a split second, Sirius smirked back at him, raising an eyebrow. The sight was so funny that Remus groaned.

"It is honestly a mystery to me how all these girls fall for you," he told him sarcastically. Sirius narrowed his eyes.

"I'll show you-"

But before he could finish that thought, the door burst open. A mess of curls and glasses entered the room, and Sirius leapt up off the bed, feeling slightly guilty. What for? he thought. "James!"

Casually, Remus scrolled over to open the window to let the smoke out. As he glanced back to the infamous duo, he caught sight of something new in Sirius' eyes.

[psi-scribe]

The Infinite and Divine, Review

So it took me about 3 days of reading on and off but I finished reading The Infinite and The Divine! Let's get an important question out of the way first, does it live up to the hype? Honestly? It does, it really does. I understand now, all the memes about Trazyn and Orikan, my mind eye's is open.

10/10 would recommend this to anyone looking to tip their toes into necrons or just looking for a sincerely fun book full of thrills and angsty moments.

I would like to remind everyone that the characters in question are older than the Emperor by a long freaking time, millions of years.

And they act like this, consistently. Truly "growing old is mandatory by growing up is optional".

As always spoiler filled rambling under the read-more (though I will be avoiding parts of the plot because no, you really do need to read this on your own.)

But of course, now I shall begin reading Renegades: Lord of Excess~

Ok so I really do need to touch on the humor first because this book is hilarious, in so many ways. From the back-and-forward banter between Trazyn and Orikan, their actions in general (more so on Trazyn's part) and their remarks to the other necrons. Someone tells Trazyn "you can't drink wine??" because he has a wine cellar and doesn't want to move it, Trazyn replies that of course he doesn't drink it! That would be a waste! Rather than the fact that he...literally can't drink. At another point a necron lady named Phillias (hey I love her too) basically called them idiots and Trazyn said "yeah you are too."

Also-

THE MEMES WEREN'T A LIE! THEY REALLY WERE THE TWO MUPPETS AT THE THEATER, THEY DID THAT! I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES!!

Ok but onto the more serious aspects of the book. I really enjoyed just how well we get to see how immortal beings deal with time. Orikan spends decades, centuries even studying just one subject, a necron court trial (yes, that's not a joke there was a lawsuit) takes years just to gather evidence and decide on a mediator. Hell, later on even more time passes, we see the rise and fall of several civilizations just on one planet. And this matters so little to the necrons.

Trazyn even remarks that the worst enemy for an immortal is boredom, that's just a good insight.

And as a brief side note, remember what happens in the beginning and hang onto it, trust me.

There's also so much lore about the necrons back when they were the necrontyr and the culture they had. Despite everything there was a culture, they had smoking pipes, gods before the C'tan, they had plays and music, all of this made despite all they were afflicted with. This is something that that both Trazyn and Orikan remark that they had in come with humanity; they lived shortly but managed to seize control of the galaxy despite it.

Ah Orikan, what a bastard (as Trazyn also calls him, lmao they really do curse a lot in this book) but he's so interesting? He warned all the necrontyr about what would happen with the biotransference, he was dragged unwilling into the forge. He doesn't understand why Trazyn would be mad about him breaking his (Trazyn's) old cane, why he collects everything he does. Orikan wants to ascend further now, leaving behind his metal body to become energy.

Man I would love to see him and Szeras interact given that Szeras was so involved with biotransference and wants to become a god.

Another part, despite their arrogance the necrons have their doubts, worries, regrets and fears. They are terrified of the flayer virus and the virus that creates the destroyers. And, here's a real kick in the gut, the C'tan messed with their memories to the point they can't really recall their own pasts, just fragments and pieces, what's there might be false too. Man the C'tan suck.

I have so many emotions due to reading this book. More parts related to the plot buutt I can't spoil it, I really can't.

Love Executioner Phillias, remember that too.

[hansols-yoda-boxers]

Oct 22nd [The8 + Fun with Clones]

[8:08] “Okay, dude. What gives?” You were staring down Minghao in his doorway. He’d been avoiding you. Honestly he’d been avoiding everything and everyone and you were tired of it. All of his reasons had been evasive and weird and you were sure at this point that something was going on.

“Wh-What are you doing here?” He said, gaze shifting back into his house.

“I’m checking up on you. Now let me in.”

“No!” He fully pushed you back before grabbing the door again and keeping the opening as small as possible. 

“Minghao, what the hell?!”

“It’s a big mess.”

“As if I’d care.” You tried to push past him.

“I-I’m sick.” He quickly changed his excuse, throwing a weak cough for extra emphasis.

“Okay, what did you do? What weird shit is going on in there?” You questioned.

“It’s really nothing. Please, just- I am begging you to leave.”

“I’m not going until-”

“Do we have a visitor?”

You froze and so did Minghao. The voice that came from inside his apartment sounded exactly the same as his. Minghao gave you a wide-eyed stare, face white with fear as your gaze shifted between him and the gap in the door.

“H-Hello?” You called cautiously. Minghao’s eyes were pleading with you, one last chance to walk away but now you were confused and intrigued and you needed to know what he was up to. Minghao stayed frozen to the spot as the door swung open to reveal…

Minghao?

“I didn’t know you had a twin?” You mused.

“I’m not a twin, silly,” the second Minghao smiled. “I’m a clone.”

“A what?!”

“OKAY!” Minghao grabbed you and his clone and dragged you both inside, slamming the door shut behind you. He pulled you to the couch where you plopped down trying to process. The two of you had joked about clones before, about the government cloning people. Governments do all kinds of weird conspiracy-theory worthy shit. But you didn’t think they actually had the technology to clone people.

“How the fuck did this happen?”

“They made me in a lab, duh,” The clone said, perched on the end of the couch. “Minghao, why didn’t you tell me you had hot friends?”

You looked at him in surprise and Minghao went red in the face sputtering.

“You think I’m hot?”

“Of course we do-”

“Can you give us a minute!?” Minghao said quickly, shooing his clone away. The clone sighed but got up, giving you a quick wink that made your face warm as he sauntered away down the hall. You turned your attention back to Minghao.

“Okay look, you remember how like a month ago I was freaked out. I thought someone was following me?”

“Yeah, and then you when MIA. I thought you fully skipped town.”

“I did,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I needed to know for sure. And when I saw… Hao I just- I-I don’t know what I was thinking but I thought it was better to have him with me than whatever else anyone could want to do with a look-a-like.”

“Did you steal your own clone?!”

“I had to!” He cried. “What else could I do? I know I can’t stay here much longer either.”

“So you’re leaving for good?” You said, shoulders falling.

“I mean there’s no way I’m allowed to just keep a clone here,” he said dejectedly. “I don’t want to but I think as soon as I saw him nothing good was going to come of it for me.”

“I can go with you.”  You said.

Minghao said you name sadly, shaking his head. “That’s not a good idea.”

“You might need someone they aren’t looking for.”

“Still, I don’t want to put you in danger.”

You rolled your eyes. “If they’re secretly making clones of us we’re all already in danger. And without you I’m in danger of eternal boredom and bad decisions.”

“Ah-” Minghao stopped, a smile tugging at his lips. “That’s not entirely false.”

“See,” you nudged his arm. “It’s a good thing I came barging in. Call him back, I wanna meet him.”

“He’s the same as me,” Minghao mumbled. “Well, we were exactly the same person up until he was fully formed and started walking around on his own. But we share all the same feelings and memories and a lot of the same thoughts.”

“So that’s what he meant by “of course we do”.” You mused, looking back down the hall.

“Ah, that.”

You trained your gaze back on Minghao. “You think I’m hot?”

“Of course I do,” he mumbled. “How could I not?”

You scoffed. “You never said anything.”

“Why would I have?” He questioned.

“You didn’t think it would go anywhere?”

He looked at you helplessly. “Of course not. You’re not interested.”

“Who said I’m not?”

Minghao just stared at you. Some part of you was annoyed that he never thought to mention his feelings. Most of you was so overwhelmed from the information you were processing that it felt like very little of your brain was even functioning and the rest was just computing power.

“I-I,” Minghao couldn’t quite manage to get any words out. All this time he’d wanted something with it and when all of this started he was sure any chance he had was completely gone. And he hid his feelings so well you’d dismissed any of your own as wishful thinking.

“God for someone smart you’re an idiot,” you sighed, grabbing his face and kissing him. Minghao froze for a moment, only a moment before he started kissing you back. He was slow and hesitant and as you wrapped your arms around him and urged him closer you were sure you could hear his heart beating out of his chest. 

Minghao’s hands found your waist and he tugged at you, wanting you closer. You carefully climbed onto his lap, continuing the kiss and pressing against his chest. His touch was gentle and sweet as he seemed to come to terms with all of it, more and more passion seeping into his kisses.

“What? You get to kiss your hot friend but I don’t?”

You broke apart from the kiss, feeling heat rising to your face. Minghao wouldn’t let you move from his lap even though his skin was as warm as yours judging by the colour of it.

“Do you mind?”

“Yes,” Hao responded. “I want in on the action.”

“Can you not take a hint?”

“I don’t want to,” He bickered.

“Yep, same person,” you chuckled.

“What do you think?” Hao turned his attention to you. “Do you want me to go or stay.”

“I-” You thought for a moment. Your brain seemed numb to all of the strange things happening at this point and you weren’t sure in all honesty. 

“Do you actually want him to join?” Minghao questioned.

“I-I don’t know,” you said truthfully. “Like it’s weird. But this is already so weird anyway? You must have known he’d feel the same way about me.”

“I wasn’t planning on introducing you,” he muttered.

“Look,” Hao came up next to you two, ruffling Minghao’s hair who tried to shake him off. “I think you’re hot, but the crush is all Minghao here. I’m not going to get in the way of whatever you’ve just decided to have. All I’m proposing is a little fun.”

You shrugged to Minghao. “Why don’t we just figure out everything else later?”

Minghao looked between you and himself and sigh. “Well, the day couldn't get any weirder anyway.”

“Never say never,” Hao hummed, sitting next to the two of you on the couch. “I know all the freaky shit you like.”

Minghao’s skin burned red as you looked between them. “What freaky shit?!”

“All in good time,” Hao patted your arm before gently urging you off Minghao’s lap. He reluctantly released you and let you settle between the two of them. Hao tilted your face back to Minghao and you took the hint kissing him again. You felt Minghao’s hand start rubbing your thigh and you sighed. Hao pressed to your other side, leaving a kiss on your neck as his hand slipped up under your shirt.

“Just sit back and enjoy,” Hao purred.

[dors-ee]

so I've been playing Hades 2 and here's my feels for now! (I think I need to make an actual official review for supergiant on steam but idk how to do it... if someone knows! I am not comfortable doing it on discord )

For someone that is not a gamer and one of the last game I'd play being roguelike (adhd and boredom plus the stress of the fights) I love Hades 2! The art is what attracted me first then I watched the technical test and was basically sold haha!

I had to put god mode on bc I am just too bad as a player but I still am having a blast. God mode doesn't make it all too easy and Eris still kicks my ass and Chronos I can beat him but gosh is he stressful (but I love him!). It makes it accessible for me, I dabbled into the oath and trials of Chaos thing. I'm really not good enough haha rven with god mode, but it was still fun to do the first levels and I do hope I'll improve enough to try them again.

Like I really like this balance of hard and accessible. I play on a keyboard too, so it's sometimes tricky with thr weapons and I avoid a few of them, but again I'm still having a lot of fun!

The amount of ressources and things to deal with (enhancements, etc.) is a lot when you look at it like that but it is introduced in a way that makes it not overwhelming and I actually like it. I think it keeps you busy, with always something to aim toward (in addition to the story) without being overwhelming. Also you can decide to prioritize one or the other.

The thing they implemented in patch one with the gathering tools definitely helped though! It was a bit bothersome the old system.

All in all I really really love the game, the story, the art, but actually also the gameplay! I prefer it to Hades 1 -which I tried yes!-. More... idk, interesting for me. I had to sometimes be strategic and I am far from being as good at it and as using the gameplay as good players are, but for me, it pushed me. It also means I have to play when i am not too cognitvely tired haha. Cause to handle all the keys on the keyboard, the different abilities/attacks, foes, dodge, etc. that's taking! Not too much, but personally when I tire out I definitely start to take more risks and sometimes it pays off and other times just rushing in the fight head first without avoiding anything is not the way to go 🤣 (even with god mode on).

I really find the game taking and interesting and compelling. For me it striked a good balance on many many different places. Busy but not overwhelming, still hard even with god mode bur accessible, fun, but serious, and like I said I do need some cognitive ressources but also not that muchm like it still is fun.

I love love love the characters and the lore with the witchraft. I prefer the underworld path for now, bc I really struggle with the surface ennemies but like the idea of the rift of Thessaly in itself? Awesome! Same for the city! The ideas are great!

The game is very varied, but without like it being too much. It still ties in together into a coherent whole thing. Like it's great. The songs, etc.

I really am enjoying the game and can't wait to see what else they'll add! My only fear is that they'd make it less accessible for people like me not being very good at video games... I know for Hades 1 some people complained at the lack of difficulty for seasoned players. So idk...

I want to enjoy it and have the story and all. I do like challenge but I prefer like a desirable difficulty like there is now. I can pick my challenge and the game itself is still accessible -challenging too- but I can do it. And I can improve and succeed and even when I lose I am not too too frustrated (except Eris maybe) but just "ah well I'll try again. I learnt stuff, I'll apply them next time!" (I also hope they wouldn't make it too easy... it's a hard balance to find I am aware of it!).

I also have the choice. I like that, the choice of the challenge, the choice of the weapon, etc. i don't have to do things I don't want to do, I am not forced to like use weapons I don't like. You can still get the story, and have fun and progress. yes you are encouraged to challenge yourself and try things but you also aren't punished if you don't. And I really really really like that. I know it already was in the first game, and I am happy they did it again and hope they'll keep this aspect. You are encouraged to do thingsx but not punished if you don't and like keep to a few weapons or Arcana cards, etc.

edit : I also hope they won't change Chaos and Chronos! I love them as they are! Same for Melinoë! I ssw some criticism of her (and Chaos' design) but I really really really love her as she is! (And Chaos' design).

and Chronos is just... Chronos 🤣 Love this titan. (hate love, you know. He makes me laugh. He's I think also more complex than we think. At least his character and the story is... like I saw someone speak of the little sprinkles here and there of "ya know maybe the gods -olympians- are not so good etc etc." and like I am so HYPED about this, I really hope it'll go somewhere, it's SO INTERESTING. And so yeah, Chronos is a bitch and he did terrible stuff but is he really that much of a villain? Or if he is, which yeah he kinda is, ... is the alternative to him that good? And the Fate storyline... SO GREAT GREAT GREAT. Melinoë wants to save them and all... but should she? As for Chronos : he's fun, but scary, but fun. )