#inexperienced crowley

[aziraphales-library]

Hello, hello, First of all, thank you so much for your work! Your library has helped to find so many awesome fics! :D There is just one question/fic idea I haven't found yet, even though I am sure something similar has been done before: Do you know any fics where Aziraphale and Crowley have sex, not (only) because of desire, but simply because humans make it look like fun and they're curious, want to try it out and they do it with each other because it seems like, idk, the most logical thing to do, or because they're already in love or something? Again, thank you for your service and have a nice day! :)

Hi and you're welcome! You may be interested in our #inexperienced aziraphale and #inexperienced crowley tags for similar fics to this. Here are some when one or both are curious about the human experience of sex...

A Little While Longer by IneffableToreshi (E)

In the Garden of Eden, a demon fell hard for an angel. Later, the angel is upset, and the demon thinks he knows a way to cheer him up...

When a Demon and an Angel Make Love, They Forget They Aren't Human by boredom (E)

Aziraphale has realized that with Heaven no longer controlling his every move, he's now free to do what he wants. And he wants to do Crowley.

Crowley, of course, is ecstatic and more than willing to fuck Aziraphale into the bed. Perhaps they shouldn't have forgotten they're not human, which means human structures may not be strong enough to support them.

Earthly Pleasures by AstroGirl (E)

Aziraphale has always thought that human sex looks like a great deal of fun. Perhaps now it's something he and Crowley can enjoy together.

Five Times They Weren't Very Sexy and One Time They Aced It by ZehWulf (E)

“Have you ever wondered what it feels like?” Crowley asks while contemplating the dregs at the bottom of his wine glass. He’s aiming for philosophical but fears the faint wheeze at the end of the question might have given him away.

“Have I ever wondered what ‘what’ feels like,” Aziraphale asks finally.

“Sex,” he says, much louder than intended or reasonable. They both wince. 

“Oh, have you never…?” Aziraphale asks with polite disbelief.

“You have?” Crowley demands.

Look, when you're largely inexperienced sex-favorable asexual ineffables, it takes a bit of practice, a lot of communication, and some bull-headed persistence to get your sex life in commendable working order. Or, five times things got (hilariously) awkward during sex, and one time after they've got it mostly figured out. A companion fic to "Scratching That Itch." (Sex acts, such as they are, tagged per chapter in chapter notes!)

The ducks and the bees by Yoite (E)

"Um", the angel cleared his throat. "Well, as we know, when humans like each other, sometimes, they, er, give each other a.. special hug."

"Are you asking me to sleep with you?"

Aziraphale wants to investigate what this whole sex malarkey is all about, but nothing goes according to plan.

Chemistry by Twilightcitysky (E) (WIP)

Aziraphale and Crowley have been living among humans for 6000 years, but there have always been parts of the human experience they've chosen to avoid (like allergies, head colds, and having to use the loo).

They've also never let hormones get in the way of making rational decisions, because they didn't have any hormones to speak of.

That's all about to change.

- Mod D

[gaymingintrovert]

I hate Muriel being infantilized I hope they get to say fuck in season three

[denaphoenix]

The Crow Road

One thing people have not yet talked about enough is that, when Crowley tries to get rid of Muriel in the bookshop, he's annoyed at first and just wants to push them away. But when he sees them genuinely smile when they ask if they can have a book "because they're like people", he doesn't just let them take one at random to get rid of them. No, he internally goes "Well, let's see, why don't we?"

And then he gives them The Crow Road by Iain Banks, a book with a nonlinear narrative that deals with the complexities of love, family dynamics, different belief systems, while also having a murder mystery and jerking the reader around with zero warning. A book that is full of complex concepts, and full of dark humor and sin.

Not the kind of book you would expect a simple-minded, innocent, naive angel to enjoy.

But they LIKE IT.

[f0ul-f13nd]

A Social Construct Ch 13: an enviable proposition

Heavy eyelids stuttering open, Crowley stumbles from oblivion into wakefulness and disorientation.

Last night, his past and his present, orbiting one another like binary stars, had finally succumbed to their mutual gravity and crashed violently together, reorienting the centre of his universe. Now he’s unmoored, the fabric of spacetime bent around him like the tartan duvet tangled around his shins.

Where is he? What time is it?

His internal clock insists it’s late morning, but the light is all wrong. Where’s the harsh sun that slants through his cheap plastic blinds? This strange room is dim, dust motes dancing through the filtered glow from the heavy drapes.

Why is this mattress so – so soft? The feather pillow beneath his head carries a hint of vanilla and bergamot, of tea and old paper.  

Oh. Aziraphale.  read more here

[tismrot]

ANOTHER REASON WHY WE LOVE AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY

If we meta the meta around itself and step two steps further away from the whole thing than we’ve been, this is a story that shows us that love isn’t just for the kids.

Here we are, heavily invested in the love life of a plump, white haired librarian and an aging rocker with anger and substance issues. Sure, they are both Very Hot Men, but that doesn’t come into play here. More than they are Very Hot Men, they are wrinkly, awkward, imperfect, no longer young. Society has told you all these descriptions are insults. They are not. We believe in this story because we know it to be true - a realistic love story does not require ethereal beauty, uncomplicated youth and unwavering confidence. Love is love, no matter the age, and watching this story, we remember that love is for US too;

However we define love, if it’s very romantic and sexual or ace or aro - it’s okay. If we have “aged out” of young, inexperienced love - it’s okay. If we’re hurt and need time alone before even daring to dream again - there’s no rush, it’s okay.

This story tells us there’s hope at all ages, with all our baggage and quirks, no matter how weird we might seem to most folks - we don’t have to rush. Soulmates are not just for teens, and most of us don’t have just one. As long as we’re open to it, as long as we are patient and kind, we will find love. And it won’t just be a settling kind of love, it will be real and powerful and exactly what we need.

It tells us this, and while it may not be that simple in real life, we needed to see it. Seeing is believing, and believing it’s possible is half the trick. And I don’t know many stories like this - I am very grateful for Good Omens, in so many ways.

[shinjisdone]

How I Imagine TWST Could Be If There Was A Female!MC - Staff Edition

part 2 of this I suppose

TW: Reader is female, period mentioned, bullying mentioned

Crowley, as mentioned, is a bit indifferent but puzzled at the new female student.

Not to offend, but you sure you crawled out of the coffin? You didn't throw out the original Student and replaced their body with yours, right?

He is half-joking by the way.

Well, it is what it is, and him being such a GRACIOUS AND GENEROUS PERSON will OF COURSE do all that he can to make you feel welcome and part of NRC!

Spoiler alert: he does so half-assed.

Will bring you any sort of thing you need and will offer both pants and skirts in all kinds of lengths for your uniform - long, short, frilly, straight, etc. As long as they fit with the jacket.

Since you came here with uh, NOTHING, he will also make sure that Sam stocks all kinds of things. While many things that are worn/needed are kinda basic/gender-neutral, he doesn't think of eeeeverything.

At the same time he kinda...paves you your own personal hell with good intentions. Introduces you to others like a good headmaster does while also underlining how VERY MUCH INDEED A GIRL YOU ARE. DING-DING-DING A YOUNG WOMAN IS GOING TO BE HERE FOR THE REST OF UUUUHHH WHENEVER I'LL BOTHER TO LOOK FOR HER HOME PLEASE BE NICE TO HER, OK?

When you might feel sick and report it to the headmaster he will of course, understand. Yet just as you are about to excuse yourself he GASPS and very genuinely and worriedly asks while whispering 'are you on your period...?'

Whether or not that is the case he will continue to reassure that that it is not something to be ashamed about AS THE ONLY GIRL HERE and he'll make sure you'll be fine.

Unironically would give you a wink, thumbs up and pats himself on the back for how GENEROUS HE IS HAH.

Would give you self-made help book: 'The Time I Got Transported Into A Magic All-Boys-Academy As The Only Magicless Girl'.

Crewel is uuuuuhhhh...

He eyes you up and down before asigning you to a pot. A pup is a pup and well-trained, diligent and especially, open-minded pups can learn anything.

Potionology especially can be learned by you, a magicless student! It requires understanding of ingredients and their magical attributes as well as magic itself a bit, but that's something you can learn!

He does not care if you are female or not. Students are meant to obey and he will not treat you any differently. Be well-behaved and listen - learn from this new environment and succeed.

He is a bit more strict with you since potionology does not require any magical skills (as far as I know). You can learn, you can adapt. Just be a good pup!

If you're doing awful, then he will be STRICT AS HELL. It's just that he truthfully believes you can learn and do better!

If you're doing good and maybe even improved, he'll be sure to praise you. Good pup! Very, very, well done!

Then he goes back to his strict self.

If he sees you being treated wrongly by others during HIS CLASS because you are a girl - he won't allow it. Will chastise the other student, ESPECIALLY IF YOU TEAMED UP, and will tell them of their awful behavior. Such things deserve punishment.

If you ever do better after such a situation, be sure Crewel will praise you loudly in a away to indirectly shove it into the student's face and let them know - 'This one did it despite being a girl and you thinking that is a reason to bully someone. No, you foolish Fido. You all are equal, inexperienced puppies.'

Be very afraid of Trein.

This guy does not c a r e who you are. A student of NRC is supposed to be diligent, punctual, listening, obeying, studious, tidy, neat, AND DON'T YOU EVER FORGET TO-

The list goes on and on.

There is the slight chance that Trein will be a bit...less strict when he takes into account that you are new to everything. You aren't familiar with either the history of magic nor the social status and affects it can have (hooh boy, you do know how much it affects-)

After classes he might take you to the side and ask how much you actually know of...magic, besides not being able to cast any. He will offer extra classes and books from the library to catch up. After that he BETTER be seeing you there often with a book in your hand. Will often check on you.

He doesn't mean any harm but he is very certain you need extra lessons to even be on the same level as the locals here. So he expects you to be extra hard-working!

After some time, the thought of you being so much left behind crosses his mind and he wants to speak after class with you again. This time about a different topic.

"Are you perhaps...being intentionally wronged in this school?"

He does not like to use the word 'bullied'. While he knows it does exist he'd rather not make any assumptions, especially because he thinks it's because you are the only female here.

It depends on you what is the truth.

In general he does take you being a young woman in an all-boys-academy as a fact and in the back of his mind while he teaches you. You and your studies might be affected due to this. Will often ask about you and how you are doing. He will take everything as truth, even if you lie since he expects you to be mature enough to do the right thing.

Though you seem to be around good and righteous young men, so he likes to believe you are doing well.

Might take Ace and Deuce to the side and tell them to look after you. Just a bit.

Ace will be like, 'yeah, yeah, don't worry, she's fine with us. Hah, in fact she'd be totally lost without us!'

Deuce is bobbing his head up and down, starry-eyed, 'yes, yes, yes, Professor! We'll do our best, she is safe with us. I SWEAR AS A FUTURE HONOR STUDENT-'

Vargas at the beginning pushes you as much as the others because how else could you spellcast?

Oh. You can't either way?

Hm.

After getting over that fact, Vargas takes your situation very seriously. If it is requested, Vargas will make sure to prepare sport uniforms you are comfortable with as well ask you if you are also comfortable with training with the other boys (it is nice to be asked but then again, what is he supposed to do if you say no? Give you private lessons after dark?).

He will internally let out a big 'phew!' if you say you do not mind training with them or training with a few close ones (the 1st year squad or anyone else you trust).

Is very understanding if you cannot partake due to your period. Will be sure to discreetly excuse you and ask a student you trust to escort you back to your dorm.

Will also bring in your own strength and capability into play. You may not be able to cast any magic, but that is not the only reason to grind!

Will often look over to you and how you're doing during lessons. Will immediately intervene if he sees any bullying or harrassment. That's not sporting or fair!

Will give a big thumbs up at any improvements or when you or others stand up for you. That's the spirit!

Sam is the one adult you know he always got your back.

The others are perfectly nice but Sam does not criticize, chastise or push you to your limits! Though he is part of the staff you feel like you can talk the most open with him.

Always asks about your day. Oh, it went well? Here, have this trinket as a memory keepsake. Oh, it was awful? Aw, shucks, take this treat, it'll cost ya...

That's usually how your conversations go.

Whatever you need, he got it for you. Makes sure he always has feminine products or anything else you might need in stock and will give you them behind the counter if you want to keep the exchange a secret and not so open to public.

Though he treats you like his other customers (kinda ripping you off), he does give you a few things for sale or free when you had a bad day due to you being the only girl here.

Tell him any secret! They are safe with him (for a price jk).

After all, there might be a few things you cannot or wouldn't want to tell your friends and Sam keeps his mouth shut whenever. So don't worry!

Grim is a little pain in the neck no matter who you are.

As mentioned, he doesn't really get why it's suuuuch a biiig deaaaal that you are here. So what if you're a giiirrrll? You're his minion either way and you ARE going to help him.

Once he gets that others pick on you, he'll get defensive. That is HIS minion and she's doing a great job no matter if magicless or not, no matter if girlie or not! Y'all better shut up before he burns you to a crisp.

Will defend you but since he's just some...monster cat no one takes him seriously. He tries though and does end up setting someone's hair on fire...which only brings you more trouble, so there's that.

[laurashapiro-noreally]

Looking for something to read?

Oh look, it's another recs post! This time I'm featuring two stories per author. These are writers I always make time for, whose work stands out as unusually hot, clever, funny, or smart -- sometimes all of the above.

I'm gonna start you out strong with two by @werpiper: After Hours takes Aziraphale and Crowley to the baths after their oyster supper, and all sorts of interesting pleasures are there for our angel to sample. Piper's Crowley is one of my favorites: always evaluating the situation, not quite aware of what his own heart is doing but feeling it anyway.

Fitting In is a new story, still a WIP, but I am utterly tantalized by Muriel's first taste of love -- and tea. This is already rich in detail, soft and fragrant, and I can hardly wait for the action to get going in earnest. The pairing seems surprising but when you think about it for ten seconds of course it makes sense. Sex workers help the curious, the awkward, and the inexperienced every day, bless them.

If you enjoy these, check out @werpiper's back catalog -- they have done a ton of ineffables-through-the-ages, and their series Miracles and Heresy is worth many delightful hours of your time.

I love what @copperplatebeech has been doing lately:

He's Not My Friend is a T-rated story that explores Aziraphale's constant refusal to acknowledge his relationship with Crowley, and Crowley's mirror of that, and how things glacially shift over time. It is subtle and yet specific, it will make you ache and smile.

All Of The Above, also T-rated, is a warm and fuzzy alternative to that, a hilarious celebration of true friendship that made me laugh out loud and still got me right in the feels.

@copperplatebeech can do everything, from quiet, gentle, and romantic to devastating plotty AUs to extraordinarily horny established relationship to absolutely ridiculous humor. Do dive in if you haven't already.

Next up, @cumaeansibyl, master of kink:

better living through technology manages to shove everything I want in a dirty story into less than three thousand words: uptight Aziraphale reduced to sodden wreck, Crowley gleefully showing him what he's been missing, character-driven erotics, and exceptionally funny dialogue.

indulgentiam peccatorum nostrorum is somehow all that and more, turning the "I was wrong" dance into a kink (something I can't get enough of, recs welcome). This one is post-Bastille so it is extra-juicy. Mind the tags!

@cumaeansibyl has a gift for established relationship one-shots, which readers of mine will know are my entire jam. They also have a mind-meltingly hot inverse!omens AU that features different variations of angelic/demonic Crowleys and Aziraphales for our ineffables to play with.

A new-to-me author, Calico, has me hanging by a thread with their Ineffable Romans series. If you want to remember that your ineffables aren't human, that they are inordinately clever but very stupid, that the feelings they have for each other are truly beyond what anyone alive has ever felt, Calico may be the writer for you. This stuff is deep. Also hot af.

Sub Rosa reads like a nasty shag at Petronius', but there's so much more going on here. It is Extremely Queer, driven by power dynamics, and Crowley is fully demonic here and absolutely in control...or is he?

The Intemperance of Liber Pater continues on this theme, with dialogue-driven smut that reads less like a seduction than an inevitability. There's another story in this series, unfinished, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Last but not least: two short pieces by @ineffabildaddy. I stumbled on their stories just this week and I absolutely love their approach, which I've not seen done quite this way before.

take me as your wife has a tight first-person perspective as Crowley meets Aziraphale for a meal and imagines (or is it his imagination?) that Aziraphale is suggesting Certain Things about how they might occupy themselves later. Indeed, is he suggesting even more? Something about their relationship? Or is it all in Crowley's head?

Only in Dreams is kind of a companion piece, from Aziraphale's point of view -- though hundreds of years later. This one's set after the events of S2 and although just as romantic as take me as your wife, it also offers an ineffable take on the ol' glory hole concept. Just in case you thought I was getting soft. 😏

@ineffabildaddy has a whole series of poems and ficlets like these and I can't wait to explore them all.

[somehow-a-human]

Good Omens & Visual Tarot - Part 1

I have been fiddling with a few different posts that are going to take a while longer still to complete. In the meantime I decided to do a little bit of a Good Omens Tarot visual analysis.

*Disclaimer* I am not a tarot expert, I am using visuals simply to equate these scenes to the Rider-Waite Tarot deck. Most of the limited meaning and analysis have been pulled from various tarot websites.

I hope you enjoy looking through these! They are not super deep or intensive but were very fun to put together :) They are ordered first by Major Arcana, then Minor Arcana, and finally Court Cards.

THE FOOL

The Fool represents the willingness to take risks, being inexperienced, improvisation and beginners luck. Aziraphale and the 1941 magic debacle are very fitting for the fool card. He doesn't know he's just endangered Crowley in front of Hell, doesn't know about the miracle blocker, and what they are about to face. Teetering dangerously close to the edge of the cliff. Yet, they've just somehow successfully escaped the stage unscathed.

----

THE MAGICIAN

The Magician represents one's potential, and capability to harness one's potential, especially in a situation where transformation is needed. It brings to mind the change that's needed in Heaven, the work Aziraphale needs to do to fix a broken system.

----

THE EMPEROR

The Emperor sits on a throne, flanked by dual rams heads. This card represents leadership, power, authority, courage, and intelligence. The Emperor is considered to be someone who is very powerful. Crowley's powers and past angelic identity are still somewhat of a mystery to us, and we have good reason to believe he was indeed a powerful figure. Could this be foreshadowing as well?

----

THE LOVERS

While The Lovers in modern decks often has a romantic reading, traditionally this card represented a crossroads in a relationship. Choices between life paths, and commitment. Aziraphale and Crowley choosing their side at the end of season one reflects this crossroads and decision very well.

----

THE CHARIOT

The Chariot represents overcoming conflict and moving forward, but the charioteer is warned to be wary of the way ahead. Crowley rushing back to Aziraphale after the Book of Life threat is ready to move past their earlier conflict and move forward. But danger might lie ahead.

----

THE HERMIT

The Hermit represents the ability to recognize a 'teacher in a humble disguise', wisdom and enlightenment. Though it takes Aziraphale millenia, I think he eventually does recognize Crowley is a teacher or a guide in disguise for him, helping him sort through the abyss of human morality.

----

THE WHEEL OF (MIS)FORTUNE

The Wheel of Fortune card reminds us that life is ever changing and moving, we cannot stand on top of the wheel indefinitely, where we think we finally may see and understand things clearly, it will always turn. Looking at the Good Omens Wheel of Misfortune, it has interesting items like "going abroad" - a nod to season 3 possibly being set at least somewhat in New York?

----

THE TOWER

The Tower represents disaster, distress, and upheaval. There is an unforeseen catastrophe that will need to be weathered. I believe Aziraphale's emotional journey in the Job minisode exemplifies this perfectly. His realization that he has reached a turning point in his beliefs, his willingness to fall to save Jobs children and defy the Almighty... The path going forward will be difficult.

----

PART 2 (coming soon)

[harmslength]

(Mostly) NSFW Headcanons Part III

Disclaimer: Slight spoilers so be warned. Just covering movies I have seen or characters I know enough about to judge. This is just for funsies, just my own personal opinions, so it’s totally okay if you disagree. Fully aware how much of an ass I’m being. Horny hater at my core.

Disco Pigs (2001) | Enda Walsh, Kirsten Sheridan - Darren

• starting out strong with THE freak of freaks

• not to state the obvious but.. possessive, dominating, jealous asf but also loyal asf

• Incel ass behavior, would definitely have a Reddit account, frequent user of 4chan.

• would jerk off to hentai titties if he could

• would probably ask you to do the ahegao face during sex…

On the Edge (2001) | John Carney - Jonathan Breech

• as much as he would hate to admit it.. hopeless romantic. Super devoted but would have an annoying tendency to flirt with other girls to see if you’d get jealous.

• honestly.. great first bf to have. Would absolutely destroy your perception of what love should be.. but hey isn’t that first loves?

• heavy breathing and moaning in your ear. Loves to give hickeys.

Sunburn (1999) | Nelson Hume - Davin McDerby

• oh davin… dead beat baby daddy fr.. loved his character arc regardless tho

• ngl probably absolute shit in bed. He screams premature ejaculator..

• has a porn addiction, but would hide it from you

• would pick up edging and would talk about your sex life very openly with “the boys”

• loves sending nudes and nut vids if he had the chance

Intermission (2003) | John Crowley - John

• he has no qualms about saying it: you’re a whore 😌

• probably feels the need to be in charge and take control but really.. you’d be the one calling the shots mostly

• definitely the type to make stupid jokes during sex

• whiny, would definitely triple text if you didn’t respond fast enough

• still a cutie ofc

• jealousy is his middle name

Girl with the Pearl Earring (2003) | Peter Webber - Pieter

• breeding kink but not in the fun way. Breeding kink in the way where he would wanna fuck like rabbits and procreate like rabbits.

• would want you to have like 6 of his kids is what I’m saying

• acts like he’s touch starved half the time, really handsy, likes to tease and leave kisses all over you

• knows how to handle his meat

At Deaths Door (1999) | Conor Morrissey - Young Reaper

• this one is just for shits and giggles

• it’s giving virgin, inexperienced but passionate

• shy asf, again you’d probably have to make the first move

[aziraphales-library]

Hey, amazing work you do here! Do you know any fics where Crowley and Aziraphale are having their first time and they're BOTH inexperienced? Since they hadn't "made the effort" until then and such...

Hello! We have our #inexperienced crowley and #inexperienced aziraphale tags, and here are some fics in which they are both inexperienced...

Follow Your Instincts by Fullmoonmere (E)

Aziraphale realizes, quite suddenly, that he wants to have sex with Crowley. Specifically, he wants Crowley to teach him everything there is to know about sex. Little does he know Crowley is an oblivious virgin who is making it up as they go.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word by Magnolia822 (E)

An angel and a demon try to determine if it's still make up sex if you've never had sex before.

like chardonnay (get better over time) by sabinelagrande (E)

Or, alternately, turn to vinegar. Or in this case, maybe both.

Coming Together after so Long by UselessWhiteCrayon (E)

“Things progressed slowly, naturally, in a way that was almost too human. There was an unspoken understanding, every new thing was special, meant to be taken slowly, carefully, so it could be fully explored, memorized, and perfected.”

Crowley and Aziraphale come together after the nonpocolypse. It is natural and slow, but once they get started they find it hard to stop.

Unexpected, But Long-Awaited by KitCat_Italica (E)

As they approached the bookshop door, Aziraphale felt Crowley squeeze his hand. He looked up, to see Crowley eyeing their joined hands, before raising his eyebrows at Aziraphale.

“This is new,” Crowley said, softer than his usual biting drawl.

Aziraphale smiled warmly. “Is it?”

OR, Aziraphale and Crowley saunter vaguely toward consummating their love, with plenty of laughter and playfulness along the way.

True Disaster by NuriaSchnee (E)

After Crowley saves him in 1941, Aziraphale realises he's fallen in love with the demon. Scared this dangerous feeling of his will cause problems to his friend, he tries to break their relationship. However, his plan to push the demon away fails and they end up admitting their feelings to each other.

To be able to be together and keep it a secret, Crowley stops time every time they meet. However brilliant this seems at first, it doesn't take long to backfire, opening new wounds and raising more barriers between them.

- Mod D

[via-l0ve]

What kind of dates do you think those Supernatural boys like? c:

Dates with the SPN boys 🫶🏻

a/n: this is such a cute idea. i love them all so much. i made moodboards for this!! xx

warnings: swearing, im inexperienced when it comes to moodboards so apologies if they’re shit lol

Dean Winchester:

i think that Dean is a very simple man!! for a first date i think he’d take you to a bar or a little diner and get to know you, just chatting and eating and having a good time. He pays and you guys take a little walk down to a pier or something and you guys just sit and talk even more. After knowing you/dating for a while, i think he would do more casual dates. Cuddles in the motel room with takeout, watching the stars on the top of the impala, attempting to bake with you, just everything. he’s such a cutie. i love him.

Sam Winchester:

Sam totally takes you to his house/dorm (college days)/ motel (when dean isn’t there) for a first date. you guys play mario kart and order pizza and play card games. you’re shocked how good he is at poker. After knowing you for a while/dating he’d get more adventurous and take you to little museums or carnivals or restaurants. but sometimes the poor boy just wants to cuddle up to you and binge some tv.

Castiel:

Castiel 10000% blips you and him to a flower field and you guys just talk and he talks about heaven and how it is to be an angel. he compliments you all night. “your looks are some of gods best work.” AWWW. after knowing eachother for a while/dating he makes you show him all of your favorite human tv shows and movies and you guys just cuddle and watch them. i think he’ll take you to the mall and watch you do a fashion show for him and let you pick out his outfits aw BOARD GAMES TOO. GAME NIGHT DATES!!!

Crowley:

Crowley likes getting to know people. he likes to know their secrets and what makes them tick and stuff and i think he knows exactly how to unlock all of that. he would ask you all the best questions about yourself and butter you up. he takes you to a bar or a restaurant to start and then slowly moves to more casual little date nights. he takes you to see a movie and sits through it even though he notices all the cringe dialogue and plot holes. what a sweetheart !

[mrscakeishere]

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Beta Reviews!

"I can't stop laughing!" "Hot hot hot!!!" "That poor electrical socket looks positively scandalized!"

Polycakes (Me and Polychrome, aka @polychromicron-persei-8) hurled another fanfic grenade into the @goodomensafterdark Smut War with Sensors and Sensibility (rated Explicit, CW: semi-public sex, anal sex). Read on for summary and excerpt!

Sensors and Sensibility

Despite Crowley shooting a little too fast and furious, he and Aziraphale have had a steamy first year.

Soho, on the other hand, is miserable.

Turns out, paranormal coitus has the uncanny ability to interfere with the Internet of Things, playing havoc with smart things throughout the neighbourhood.

In an attempt to solve the “celestial sex problem,” Nina floats the idea of a romantic dinner somewhere far away, selling it as the ideal remedy to boost Crowley’s mojo.

The question is, will some delayed gratification improve their sex lives—and can they keep it in their pants long enough to find out?

Excerpt:

For creatures who had been alive since the beginning of time, Aziraphale and Crowley were embarrassingly inexperienced when it came to sex. Sure, they had seen it—you couldn’t go anywhere during those first seven days on Earth without witnessing Adam and Eve sticking something in one hole or another—but neither angel nor demon had ever partaken in such activities until after the Second Coming.1 As well-established virgins,2 everything was exciting and new; every intimate moment was the best sex that they had ever had.3

Of course, to the well-trained eye, much of what Aziraphale and Crowley engaged in was relatively vanilla, consisting of mundane positions, erratic pacing, flailing limbs, and a higher than usual—but not completely unhealthy—frequency of premature ejaculation.

Regardless of partaking in the sort of lovemaking that would disappoint a beginner voyeur, Aziraphale and Crowley felt satiated. In fact, they were so wrapped up in the thrill of their newfound sex lives and their steamy honeymoon period that they had spent an entire year engaging in sex and very little else.

This had not gone unnoticed by the neighbours.

This was not entirely true. Aziraphale actually had one experience getting his willy sucked while attending Portland Place. He had never had the heart to tell Crowley though, who had taken great pride in believing that he had been Aziraphale’s first time.

Well, Crowley was a virgin.

Even though it was, for the most part, the only sex they had ever had.

Continue reading on Ao3 for Crowley and Aziraphale's coffee needs, romantic dinner date, and the impact of their sexual congress on smart and automated things.

[prince-kallisto]

Looking closely, Fellow and Crowley’s cane looks a lot more similar than I thought (yes I know how Playful land ended but I’m still insistent that there’s a connection to Crowley 😭🤣🤣🤣). Seeing the pattern makes me wonder just how their canes work as “magic pens”

There’s several possibilities of where Fellow’s magestone could be- since there’s no visible one of his design of cane. He could be hiding it since it’s valuable, the cane is a shapeshifting magestone like the NRC Dormleaders, or he just straight up doesn’t have one haha- he’s risking it all. After all, as we learned, Fellow’s Unique Magic “Life is Fun” uses very little magic and barely creates any blot. He can use it many, many times with very little blot accumulation.

I’ve mentioned several times before that I believe Crowley’s “magic pen” is his cane. In the novel, he waves his cane like a wand to create Grim’s magestone, and in this LINE sticker, he mentions his “lash of love,” while holding up his cane. Again, in the novel, the “lash of love” is a bit like a whip that can snake around and move on its own. It may imply that he can change the form his cane takes, including to objects like a whip.

For Fellow Honest, he seems to have a habit of twirling his cane when using “Life is Fun.” I don’t remember if they actually mentioned this habit of his in the event haha, but it seems to be a similar thing to Crowley, where he uses his cane like a wand.

To me, it’s interesting that both of their canes have gold animal heads at the top. Precious metals seem to serve as a conduit for magic, as we recently learned in book 7, silver can even be used as magic radios as a replacement to crystals. Since neither Crowley or Fellow have visible magestones on their canes, perhaps gold functions as a conduit in some manner? Although, knowing Fellow, the gold is probably fake haha.

Plus, it’s always worth noting that the staff members don’t have typical wands or magic pens. Their magestones are custom accessories (minus Sam who seems to a unique case), so mages can clearly cast magic with a magestone protecting them as long it’s at a close proximity to their body. Perhaps inexperienced mages like students have to use magic pens because they can’t cast magic safely yet?

Well, minus the iffy magic stuff, I do like how they’re canes are visually very similar. I’d like to think it’s a purposeful connection between their characters, particularly their mischievous side that always has something up their sleeve.

I think it’s worth noting that both of the animals they’re associated with, a Fox and a crow/raven, are both considered “trickster” animals. Foxes are well known in folklore and fairytales to be sly tricksters, manipulating everyone around them to get where they want. The crow or raven on the other hand, tends to be interpreted as a bad omen, but in traditional folklore, the crow’s intelligence was used to be a thief and trickster as well.

I want to give a special note to Azul’s cane as well. All the other dorm leaders have their own unique magestone design tool, as I mentioned earlier. However, Azul is the only one to have cane with the head of a living creature on it just like Crowley and Fellow. The octopus is definitely seen as a clever and very intelligent creature, so it’s fitting that Azul fits into the pattern that Crowley and Fellow have. Big brain canes

I don’t want to think TOO deep on it, because sometimes it’s just good design haha! All three of these people attempt to have a classy and formal appearance, so a cane is a perfect accompaniment to their appearance. However, I also think it’s interesting that these three characters are similar in their greed. Perhaps these three share this visual connection to point out their cunning natures? Hmm…

[the-trinket-witch]

New TWST OC Hub!

(NOTE: All art depicted is a combination of freehand art and sprite manipulation, So I cannot say this is wholly my own hand. As well, SD sprites are created via this picrew and edited further by me.)

Albert Eastwind (アルバート・イーストウィンド):

(TWST OF: Mary Poppins)

Age: 17

Pronouns: He/Him (わたくし)

Birthday: Aug 27

Height: 5'9" (175cm)

Class: 2-C (Student 64)

Homeland: Altus (Queendom of Roses)

Best Class: Practical Magic

U.M: 'Step in Time'- Can slow time around up to 15ft (4.5m), can only use up to an hour of time (passes as 5 minutes IRT). Buildup of blot makes use of <1hr dangerous.

Likes: Taking care of others

Dislikes: 'Piecrust Promises' (lying or sparing someone their feelings)

Personality: Cheerful, practical, self-flagellating, one to suffer in silence, truthful, wordy, uplifting, formal

Nicknames: Swordfish (Floyd), Monsieur Parapluie (Rook)

Eugenio 'Yuu' Hernandez (エウヘニオ・ヘルナンデス)

(TWST OF: N/A)

Age: 16

Pronouns: They/Them (僕)

Birthday: May 15

Height: 5'4" (162cm)

Class: 1-A (Student 13)

Homeland: Alameda, CA, USA

Best Class: P.E

U.M: 'Beast Tamer'-not magical, but the threat of La Chancla upside one's head tends to put rowdy schoolboys in line

Likes: Cooking, learning about Twisted Wonderland, days off

Dislikes: Overblotting, Some of the Dorm Leaders, having to do Crowley's go-for work, going hungry

Personality: Pragmatic, wry, inexperienced, mature, tired, fun-seeking

Nicknames: Shrimpy (Floyd), Monsieur Trickster (Rook)

Tidus Rhin (ティダス・ライン)

(TWST OF: Archimedes-The Little Mermaid (TV Series))

Age: 16

Pronouns: He/Him (自分)

Birthday: Nov 17

Height: 7ft (213cm)

Class: 1-C (student 50)

Homeland: Coral Sea

Best Class: History

U.M: 'Fathom's Below'- Can use infrasound frequencies to cause a variety of physical/psychological effects

Likes: Human Culture

Dislikes: Being used exclusively for his strength

Personality: Bubbly, curious, naive, scholarly, headstrong, tame, protective

Nicknames: Jinbei (Floyd), Monsieur Vaste (Rook)

Lázaro Muertinez (ラサロ・ムエルティネス)

Age: 18

Pronouns: He/Him (俺)

Birthday: Nov 2

Height: 6'0" (182cm)

Class: 3-D (Student 42)

Homeland: Land of Dawning

Best Class: Music

U.M: 'Recuérdame'-digs up lost memories of those who hear him playing music. Memories are random.

Likes: Playing any instrument he can get his hands on

Dislikes: Art theft

Personality: Cheery, familial, boisterous, spontaneous, savant, festive

Nicknames: Celebes (Floyd), Roi de la Guitare (Rook)

Aadesh Sona (アーデシュ・ソナ)

Age: 28

Pronouns: He/Him (俺-様)

Birthday: Oct 18

Height: 6'5" (195cm)

Subject: 'Counselor' (Inside Trader/Intel Gatherer)

Homeland: Sunset Savannah

Species: Beastman (Constrictor)

U.M: 'Silver Mist'-lowers brainwave activity, putting people to sleep. Cannot influence actions via UM itself, but has a degree in psychology so only needs to have one in a more suggestible state.

Likes: Having the upper hand, Praise from Mr Khan, power

Dislikes: Things not going his way, Knots in his tail, Kids too smart for their own good

Personality: Conceited, intelligent, scheming, two-faced, obsequious, manipulative, eloquent, self-serving

Nicknames: Scaly Bastard (various), Creepy Constrictor (various) Doctor (clients)

The Janitor (管理人-さん)

(TWST of: Myself! My Actual 'Self insert')

Age: 6 months

Pronouns: They/Them (自分)

Birthday: Sept. 15

Height: 5'4" (163cm)

Role: Janitor

Homeland: Nightraven College Science Lab

Species: Construct (animated anatomical model)

U.M: N/A (Has a charm that makes their sign language understood by those they communicate with)

Likes: Cleaning, free time, learning about 'Life'

Dislikes: Purposefully messy areas, People not understanding their signs, (eventually) being treated as a slave

Personality: detail-oriented, tidy, tired, sassy, overworked, nonchalant, wry

Nicknames: Handybones (various), Bones Malone (various), The Assistant (Sam), 'Oh Shit You Scared Me' (various), The Walking Halloween Decoration (various) Glassfish (Floyd), Souverain de Propreté (Rook)

Rajesh Khan (レージェシュ カン)

(TWST of: Shere Khan-Jungle Book)

Age: 53

Pronouns: He/Him (俺-様)

Birthday: Nov. 17

Height: 5'9" (175cm)

Career: CEO (Khan Corp.)

Homeland: Scalding Sands

Species: Beastman (Tiger)

U.M: 'King of the Jungle' Magically amplifies his infrasound roar, making it easier to intimidate.

Likes: Exotic food, smooth business dealings, news from Aadesh, opera, body building

Dislikes: Insubordination, lack of information, kicks to the knee

Personality: Austere, collected, explosive, cutthroat, confident

Nicknames: Sir, Mr Khan

Finally also: the Voice Claim Trailer

[luna-writes-stuff]

How do you think Crowley and Castiel would react to a reader with hanahaki disease? Here...angst! x3

I see what you’re doing anon. I don’t know if it was you who sent the question or not but it’s so sweet you keep my preferences in mind! Hope you enjoy it <33

——

Castiel

Though the angel knows a lot, he can be painfully oblivious at times. He would never knowingly hurt you, but as an angel, you figured he’d have more on his mind than care for a mortal. As you and Cas grow closer, so do he and Dean. Misconceptions are easy to form if you’ve never properly addressed your ideas and speculations, so you’d quickly gather that you might be a lost cause in this. As it gets worse, Cas takes notice, remarking your state as ‘you look sick’ or ‘you haven’t been sleeping well’. He doesn’t notice the petals until it’s nearly too late. You were on a hunt with the Winchester but was confined to the motel room after Sam claimed you might need some rest. Cas was looking for the boys when he strolled into the room, noticing blood covered petals in the bathroom. That is when he finally puzzles the pieces together, referring to it as an ancient disease from Japan. Filled in tears and chaos, you finally confess to him and why you never addressed it. You nearly collapse into his arms as he uses his grave to ultimately soothe you. He keeps close to you as Sam and Dean try to look from a cure, just to find out it is only Cas who can help you. Though completely inexperienced with human relationships, he tries to make it work.

——

Crowley

Crowley is one of the most perceptive people out there. In his line of business, he has to be. He notices the symptoms early on but dismisses them, thinking he’d probably embarrass himself as he did. When he finally notices it getting worse he starts piecing everything together, ultimately finding out that it was him who had been causing all this ruckus. He simply points it out to you, not giving you time to even question how and when he found out. When he didn’t reveal he reciprocated your feelings, you ran out, trying to preserve your dignity by not bursting into tears immediately. Crowley thinks he was probably one way or the other and takes this as his queue to leave. When he reappears a day later, trying to see if you are okay, you refuse to speak back to him. It would have to be him who has to admit their feelings aloud - whatever happens. He helps you gain some peace and goes out to find something that can help speed up your process of healing. He’d have you by his side constantly until the final symptoms have finally cleared up.

[kimbap-r0ll]

Hello there, I was an anon some time ago. I was planning on mostly sending a few requests, but I think one is okay since you get so many.

I was hoping you can do a request with twisted wonderland. A request which involves an overblotted MC prefect and the first years. In this scenario, the students are probably attacking MC (Cause that is how it fixed the others) and yet MC is not fighting back and mostly defending themselves and a few that have gotten injured. How would the first years react?

Hi! Sorry this was answered so late, but I think I get what you're request is. Hopefully it's not too far from what you imagined it would be like, but here it is!

First years react to Overblot!MC

It seems that Crowley underestimated how stressed you were and somehow you too could overblot though everyone thought you weren't a magic-user

Now the first years have their hands full, and it just so happens that all of the dorm leaders are away for something. Not even Azul or Riddle can be found!

So the first years band together to try and get you back to yourself, hopefully getting rid of the blot phantom that could kill you at any minute.

As they fight you, they realize that while you are hurting them, or at least attempting to, they realize that a lot of your attacks are a defense type. You don't go out to attack first, rather your moves are reactionary. When Grim hurls a fireball at you, you block it and it reflects back to him.

The first years hate that they are hurting you to start off with, even Sebek who you thought had something against you for how much Malleus seemed to like you,. But he was the first one to say "Isn't there another way we can get them out of this?! Maybe words?"

"You know that doesn't work, Sebek!" Ace counters. He doesn't look like he wants to fight you though, he can't help but feel a punch in the stomach everytime you are hurled backwards by one of his attacks.

In the end, you were still an amateur at magic, a lot of your attacks being nothing compared to the more intricate spells that Sebek casted or even Ace and Deuce who considered themselves to be inexperienced. Epel and Jack continue to call out to you, Deuce can't bring himself to attack you at all.

They try to look for Crowley while fending you off, but it seems that he's nowhere to be found either. Jack clenches his fist and looks at you in the eyes, he can tell that you're still there, just not completely.

"Y/n, we'll get you out of this mess," he tells himself. If it is by force, then so be it. The last thing he wants to see is the overblot taking you over. It's the same for the rest of the first years; you helped them so much throughout the year, even if you were thrown into Twisted Wonderland without any prior knowledge of the place. You were the one who saved all the previous overblots and you helped them overcome their own challenges.

They hate seeing you get beat up, but the last thing they want to see is you being overtaken by an overblot.