#I have a lot of low key traumatizing dreams

[failedaugment]

Thought about Fallout too much and had a very scary nuclear bomb dream 😭😭😭 it actually hurt when I got blown to shreds

[danwhobrowses]

So I Finally Finished a Playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3

It's been months of playing over my holidays and the weekends, but I've finally completed my first playthrough of what was deemed Game of the Year for 2023.

As someone whose only D&D experiences come from the two movies (the bad one that traumatized me as a kid by killing Snails and the good one that deserves more love) and Critical Role, I didn't know much of what I was getting into, only my coworkers saying 'buy it, it's a masterpiece' unanimously when I inquired about it. Having no idea how to play or the lore, I was very much entering blind.

Continued down the Keep Reading

So, I'm sure we gotta get through the first set of questions so let's get to them.

What was your Tav? It took a long time to realise that 'Tav' meant your player character among fanpages, I can't tell you why it's Tav still, but I only pieced it together from Durge naming too. My Tav is Dec, short for December because that's when I started playing and I couldn't waste too much time on stream thinking up a clever name. He was a High Elf Guild Artisan, for Class I started as a Beast Master Ranger, ironic that Ranger is deemed one of the lesser classes among the community, I was adamant to not use archery at the start but by the end of it I was a Crossbow Expert. I went 9/3 with Rogue to get Assassin, but then respec'd my Ranger into a Gloomstalker, since I never really summoned the bear (probably should've learned from Sam's constant dissing of Trinket eh?) plus when I remembered Dread Ambusher it gave me 3 attacks on the first turn. He has combustible blood thanks to Araj and some tadpole powers after consuming them after the creche incident made him more open to trusting the Dream Visitor; Charm - which failed 90% of the time - Psionic Backlash, Favourable Beginnings and Luck of the Far Realms used mainly, I had Stage Fright and Force Tunnel but didn't use it, same for Cull the Weak. Likes to talk things through, especially with Persuasion/Charisma buffing invisible hats. Has the Duellist's Perogative Sword and the Swire's Sledboard Shield for Melee, and the AC bonus, plus the Armor of Agility giving him an evasive 24 AC with Advantage thanks to 20 DEX and the Cloak of Displacement.

You can't see his scar and tattoo too well from here but I had to show off his Black Furnace and Red dye on his armour it looks too good. Here's a better look of his face:

For his tattoo and scarring I like to think he got the tattoo after the burn, in some ways distracting it from the scarring.

Did you Save Scum? Don't Lie to Me! Yes and I'm not sorry about it. If you wanna invite me to a D&D table I'll follow the rules and how the dice lands but there's a lot more wiggle room there than in a game where there's finite dialogue options. I was also not going to sit there and let my companions turn against me just because the game fancied throwing continual Nat 1s or low rolls at me, nor would I let Omeluum die in the Iron Throne, or end up leaving the Mirror of Loss empty handed. I bought the game so if I wanna carve this experience this way I shall carve it this way, I get some people see the Morally Good path as boring for this kind of gaming but I like to be good, it feels good, and I want good things to happen for my allies, even if it means having to undo most of their religious indoctrination. But, it did take a while for me to start save scumming, really it was freeing Halsin that started it but it didn't become regular until Auntie Ethel. I only really did it for dialogue/lore expansion (or when there were two dialogue options I was between which I hoped would be interpreted how I expect it to) and for necessary buff rolls like the Mirror of Loss, but sometimes I did it to keep some key NPCs alive like Jaheira, who died at Moonrise the first time.

Who did you usually team up with? Kinda a harem squad since I had Lae'zel, Shadowheart and Karlach. I was very combat-oriented; Lae'zel adding support to Karlach's melee or Dec's ranged combat while Shadowheart made up for most of the magic with heals, summons and like 100 scrolls in her bag (Dec horded about 100 different arrows and poisons too, sometimes pays off). I respec'd her to Light Domain after the Nightsong stuff to fit her character and hair change - though I must admit I preferred the black hair - and gave her my Adamantine Splint Armour for defences plus the ring and Balduran's Helm for +5 healing each turn. Lae'zel was a Battle Master, clad in the Helldusk set, though I didn't use much of her Superiority dice moves; the enemies often made saves against it even with 18 strength (20 after the mirror of loss, and higher at endgame thanks to an Elixir of Cloud Giant Strength), I relied more on her brute force, plus reaction skills like Executioner and Sentinel, plus the Silver Sword of the Astral Plane. Karlach was a 9/3 Bear Heart Barbarian and Champion Fighter, I did respec her for the Feats but the Bone armour, Balduran's Greatsword and Brutal Jump also helped at times, plus the Gauntlets of Hill Giant Strength and the Amulet of Greater Health made her a high damage, near-200 Health-on-Rage machine (over 200 thanks to the +30 extra health at the final battle). I tended not to swap around a lot, I couldn't abandon my healer, loved Karlach's personality and I had sentiment for Lae'zel being the first person I encountered, she has the sad eyes too, but I did do some rare switching for personal quests. Initially I started with Astarion, but that's because of a misunderstanding of who Karlach was - more on that later - and it turned out that I wasn't doing much for stealth, I brought him for Cazador though, much like I brought Wyll for Ansur and Gale for the Book of Karsus. Later in Act 3 I played around with dyes and equipped everyone, out of fear that I may be sprung unprepared like with Orin - Halsin only had a torch - by all campmates joining the fight, it didn't happen but everyone at least looks stylish.

I go between whether I like Wyll's colours though, on one hand he looks like a Templar and the white would stand out in Avernus, other times he looks like a cosplayer XD Minsc and Jaheira needed no dyes the colours already suited well, but I do love the colours I chose for Astarion, Halsin and Karlach.

Who did you fuck? (romance) Probably would've been asked sooner but sadly Dec became an unintended bachelor, at least outside of the headcanon. He did share a night of passion with Lae'zel after freeing the Emerald Grove but it wasn't something he wanted to pursue further, our dynamic was more befitting of two soldiers, or at least a dynamic where we think we're the General and the other the Advisor. Had Shadowheart took 'later' for her drink offer as 'I want to see all the dialogues other characters have first' rather than a refusal there might have been a romance there, instead I feel we fell into a more sibling bond, she can be a bit too sassy at times in passing dialogue - I had hoped to see more development with her and Lae'zel eventually being friends. Wyll did his best to throw sad puppy eyes at me when I refused to dance with him but it just made things more awkward, Gale meanwhile probably was gonna make moves when teaching me the Weave but he was very hung up on Mystra for me to entertain it, I sat with him when he felt the mortal coil though. Astarion I think made a passing suggestion but nothing of substance, Halsin left it late after he got kidnapped by Orin - I didn't realise he had to physically join the party to be a part of the group until Act 3 - coming onto me right before I confronted the Brain which was quickly turned down. I believe Minsc and Jaheira are unable to be romanced atm, and I did not fuck the Emperor; it weirded me out that he just was there shirtless chilling next to my unconscious dream state. We killed Minthara, didn't know you could recruit or romance her in a Morally Good path. Which left Karlach, fuck did I want to romance Karlach, not for lack of trying either; but because when I met Wyll he was talking about killing her I immediately assumed 'oh Karlach must be that woman on the cover with him' (aka 'the bitch who could've been cool if she wasn't such a bitch' Mizora, who I also wouldn't have romanced given the option) and stuck a pin in it, I was also unaware that most Act 1 romance stuff would come to a head at the end of the Emerald Grove quest which I prioritized so I only encountered Karlach after I saved Halsin and the Grove, meaning I couldn't reach Dammon until Act 2. By then Karlach seemed to be locked out of romance, perhaps for another misunderstanding on my part too since I did upgrade her engine twice at Lost Light very swiftly, but it still was a knife to the heart after all that and the date at the circus that she called us 'just mates' to Fytz. All this and then they give us a better kissing patch ¬_¬

Yes so sad, anyway what about ~Astarion~? Astarion is popular, and I know why he's popular, and the scene of him killing Cazador was very well done...but Astarion for me though was just fine; I mean you guys see Karlach right? Part of the reason she stays my group was that I can't bear to part from her. A lot of the times my Morally Good options didn't align with Astarion's brand of pessimistic chaos, so he spent a lot of time in camp as I mispronounced his name until I heard it be properly said, which probably hampered his story a bit more, but we had a close enough friendship that he heeded my advice with the Ascension and the spawn, wish he reacted to me getting a painting of him since he can't see his reflection though, felt like something could've been done there. Jaheira was a fun personality too, angry old lady who says it like it is, kinda wish we had more to her quest, seeing her home and her interacting with her wards/children was interesting, Minsc was charming too in his simple way, would've been cool if he had more of a presence as well, like we could hear about Minsc and the Stone Lord in separate lights earlier in the game to build up to him. On that topic, I was surprised to find that there wasn't a companion for each role, I suppose there were constraints but Aylin and Zevlor both worked as Paladins, Alfira a Bard (though I don't think anyone would dare put her in the line of fire), I suppose there's little need for a Sorcerer when you had a Wizard or a Monk when you had a Fighter and Barbarian but it was strange, you get 2 Druids and your Ranger is built more like a Fighter or Barbarian (the latter I added to Minsc). I'd later learn that there was cut content for a halfling companion who was a werewolf, but I can see why that one was cut, with Chetney and all, but yeah not any halflings, Barcus could've been a companion even without the Artificer class, or a Dragonborn.

So how did your story go? Being the Morally Good Guy I was I went through most of the best options I could, but I also tried to avoid combat earlier on when I was struggling to work with it. I was friendly with the Goblin Camp for starters, since they thought I was with the Absolute and Dec is willing to put shit on his face to avoid conflict, it all went tits up after freeing Halsin and having to kill everyone but it may've had some benefit to how I could walk freely through Moonrise. Ironically it was the same with the Githyanki, friendly up until they wanted me to hand over the prism, though the Creche was a lost cause anyway, they're lucky I didn't ransack the place, could've gotten a lot of xp and loot there. I let Viconia live, so she can dwell on that burn Shadowheart gave her but oftentimes I was not so merciful, do wish I didn't kill that one Sharran with the letter of hating being there though, why'd you fight me girl? Same with the Bhaalist with the parents at Elfsong, and the goblin children, I was using nonlethal but arrows don't count as I'd soon learn. Allies were mostly good-to-neutral creatures like the Tieflings (though I wish I saved more, nobody told me about the harpies and I thought convincing Rolan to stay would mean the Grove not the Shadow Cursed Lands - also why send refugees who struggle with goblins through the SHADOW CURSED LANDS?) and 90% of the Ironhand Gnomes because fuck Wulbren - I didn't like Barcus too much at first, thought him rude, but when Wulbren didn't even show gratitude for his attempts I softened to him. Kindness made me quite the enemy to others however; the infernal naturally did not appreciate my deeds of pact breaking but saving the Duke anyway and pilfering the House of Hope, but to be fair Raphael (and his clear portrait of himself I clocked onto immediately when he was in his human guise to know he was untrustworthy) never repaid me in-game for 'killing' Yurgir, and Mizora would've squirmed a lot more in her Ilithid pod had it been a table interaction - though, the latter two were more than willing to help me with the Absolute, 'cept Raphael because he's dead - but in my defence I loved outwitting and being a sassy little shit to demons. Slaying the Chosen was a given, as a very Pro-Karlach guy I was never letting Gortash live, got the Father/Grandfather-Daughter set with Bhaal too. Killing the former Balduran was disappointing; as much as he was on my side he always felt like he had his own ulterior motives, he also had a superiority complex to him with his constant urging of being half-Ilithid; thinks it's not important that he's Balduran either, dismissing Ansur's legend until confronted by Ansur's spirit. Stealing the Orphic Hammer was an insurance policy at first, I could understand Voss' disdain for us using Githyanki Jesus in a box like a forcefield, but it's a shame that the guy who was all about trust decided not to trust me in releasing Orpheus; we could've stopped the brain together! Omeluum would've heard me out. I mean Orpheus was a bit salty but he at least was willing to negotiate and not immediately side back with the brain like a petty bitch. I'd say the gods have mixed feelings with me; friendly with Selune and Lathander at least, and whatever Withers is - though the guy roasted me about my love life. The rest either neutral or anti; Shar and Vlaakith (if you can call her a god) definitely hate me, because they're sore losers, think Myrkul and Bhaal likely hate me, Bane however seemed to respect game not sure how I feel about that. I don't quite like Mystra, think she's a bit extreme with her treatment of Gale, but I understand her role, valid god but shitty person. On the other hand I probably have Cyric's favour for helping the Strange Ox, which might be bad...but Milil was happy to be recognized.

In the end, most of the allies got to live somewhat happily; Gale got the orb out of him and became a professor, Lae'zel - having dealt the final blow to the brain - leads the charge against Vlaakith after Orpheus became a Mind Flayer and was mercy killed, Shadowheart has her family (Shar would've always been with her regardless of her choice), a bunch of pets and can maybe reminisce with Nocturne again one day, Jaheira and Minsc - once he survives Zhentharim execution, didn't realise I needed to have him talk to Nine Fingers - also can rest with her wards and probably share drinks with Nine Fingers until the next fight, Astarion sadly has no cure for vampirism but he is owning it and killing the right people (I like to think he'll get to see the sun again, maybe Omeluum and the Mycolids help), plus Halsin has a bunch of kids in Moonrise to look after, plus Thaniel, Oliver and a new Owlbear who I'd rather had left with Dammon given the option. Isobel and Aylin can settle down, Rolan runs the Sundries, Hope is free, Alfira and Lakrissa got their bard's school, Florrick and Ravengard resume leadership to rebuild, Dammon has his forge, Scratch found a new home in this Mindy (but I remain best master), Mol I'm sure will be running the Guildhall in a few years, Thrumbo has a shelter for his brothers, Mayrina will raise her son without the threat of a hag, Vanra won't become a hag (but does need therapy), and Arabella will probably be the next Withers after reading some more rocks. Yenna didn't seem to have an ending so I'll assume that she found a loving home too, maybe with Halsin or as one of Jaheira's wards, or maybe Gale wants a Sous Chef since she did bring her own carving knife if you didn't know. I wish Alfira got invited to the epilogue, god of song is fine but not the familiar face and it would've been cool for them to meet, nice to get a letter at least, and we'll have to visit Art's grave sometime. Surprised we got no word about Mizora, I didn't get a letter from Geraldus even though he survived, Naaber apparently had more in him after wanting to be a dog, sad not to get anything from Rolan, Devella (I know Valeria mentioned her but c'mon), the Gondians, Mol, Omeluum, or Aylin and Isobel from the epilogue, did we really need the ramblings of Ettvard? Plus the papers must've glitched they said Stelmane's killer was still at large? Post-credits scene felt a bit weak mind you, but guessing Withers is that old God of Death Jerghal? Least he's not a surprise villain to fight. As for me, well, I was never one to give up on people and neither is Dec, and thus Dec and Karlach brave Avernus to seek a fix for her infernal engine, punch a few demons and whatnot, Wyll is there too as the Blade of Avernus, a role he embraced twice after barely contributing to killing Ansur but that's more proximity. We'll chill in the House of Hope especially after her letter, but soon enough we'll all return to Faerun on a more permanent basis.

So you enjoyed it? Yes, very much. I did of course make a lot of mistakes though; kept forgetting about Dread Ambusher for one, my earlier failures at romance still stung, I think the game wasn't as welcoming to those unfamiliar to it. The dice did not like me many times, I once got a Nat 1 in a 2 DC with +2 bonus, I also have had several instances of back-to-back Nat 1s, even had 6 in two different streams. Combat was an adjustment period, I missed a lot of the time which was frustrating, or the enemy would make saving throws on my gambits, Karlach even got pushed into the abyss at the Temple of Bhaal, I was livid. I think I probably would've experienced more if the game established better that you can long rest as much as you like without turning into a Mind Flayer, because much of Act 1 was me reluctant to Long Rest because they say you can change 'within 2-3 days', as a result that affected some romance options too, nobody to spend the night with if there's no night, as well as other in-camp interactions - Astarion never tried to bite me for instance, and I'm sure Raphael would've arrived to reward me for killing Yurgir had we not dealt with a backlog of interactions. I remained quite the hesitant player too, I ignored Gale stuck in a portal for a while fearing some magical backlash was gonna vaporize me, oftentimes I expected worse than what actually happened. Graphically there were a few characters whose cheeks were being pulled to the far left side of the map which was weird, and some battles would have enemies who would just do nothing for their turns, and some areas didn't render quick enough to not be noticed, but it was small stuff in comparison, I didn't do much for camp clothes or dyes until late on but probably for the better since style should be for the final act. I also keep seeing stuff that I somehow missed in my playthrough; like there's an angry squirrel near the grove? A frog in Ethel's house? A bird who wanted help with the giant eagles? What? Where?

What was the most difficult part? Act 3 had a lot of tough shit going down, though one of my most memorable struggles was against Auntie Ethel in Act 1. Already deep in her domain at lv4 it was a rough run to start with, continually hit by Hold Person by her projections, only when I learned they were one-hits did it become a little easier, but without Extra Attack it was still difficult. After that combat was here and there, sometimes it was just the environment like being jammed in a pipe when fighting Minsc; Lorroakan was annoying, Grym I had to be tactical with the hammer, the Assassin at the Facemaker was quite difficult too because he'd Haste himself and hide. The Death Shepherds in the Mountain Pass were surprisingly difficult without the Blood of Lathander, much easier with its Sunbeam. The companion quest final battles of Cazador, Ansur and Viconia were each difficult in their own way; the former was most annoying because my party would be downed but the thrown healing potions weren't working (plus those downed members were the ones with Radiant damage and holy water), wasn't even Bone Chilled like with Viconia, Ansur was difficult because of his burst attack. Raphael hits fucking hard, but once I realised that Hope kept dying because she was getting backlash from dealing Radiant Damage it was just attrition and lots of potion throwing. Combat-wise I think the toughest battle was Cazador due to the glitch of thrown potions not healing, otherwise the toughest boss was Ansur. Overall the most difficult experience I found was the timed operations of the Iron Throne.

Will you play again? Most likely, which is something I don't tend to say so Larian did do their job well. Though I might wait a bit to play other games first and give Larian time to add more content and finer polishing, I think I'd have a better time with it the second time around, would definitely try to resolve previous wrongs or missed opportunities, though I doubt I'd look forward to everything there; killing the Goblin Camp was still difficult work, same with the Steel Watch and all the turn limit stuff, I'll at least wait until I have Extra Attack before dealing with Ethel in Act 1 and take more Long Rests, maybe rotate the party a bit more and try out some other classes - but you will pry Speak with Animals out of my cold dead hands! Learning later about there being a bunch of cut content would entice me to play a third time if they reach a stage where all the intended content has been added in, but there's not exactly a time frame for that or a clear show of intent so far, so we'll see in that one, for all that is cut it seems like the end product is the tip of the iceberg. Enjoyed the play, played for a long time, would play again: money well spent.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hello dear! It's been a long time :)

I've read some of your Mandela Catalog fanfics and they are amazing!

I would like to make a request, how about the Reader (who was a friend of the Murray's and took care of Adam after the divorce as Lynn didn't have much time to spend with him) take custody of him after his parents died?

Adam at least grew up with someone :) and the Reader always sang songs when he got sad about his parents...

But the events are the same as the Mandela Catalog (Volume 1 and 2 etc.)

In the meantime, the Reader ends up dying for an Alternative, after months of the Reader's death, the events of volume 2 happen and then the events of Mandela Catalyst happen.

Basically, Thatcher finds Adam singing one of the songs that the Reader sang to him to calm him down, but since it's not the Reader singing...he can't calm down at all .

Just Angst in general...sorry :)

Oh boy this one hurt a LOT to write. Strap in and be ready for (several) different timeskips (and a whole lot of angst)

.........

--September 1992--

"Hey, [y/n]. I'm so sorry to bother you, but-"

"It's okay. What's up? Do you need me to watch him for a bit?"

"...I actually needed to talk to you about something important, but he hasn't stopped crying, and...shit...I-I just need a little bit of help if that's alright. I can't calm him down."

Hearing Lynn's exhausted sigh over the phone, you frowned slightly. It especially pained your heart to hear her son's wailing in the background, yet you realized she called you around this specific hour last time..with the exact same problem.

It was strange, honestly.

You would've thought she'd figured out what was going on with Adam by now.

"Wasn't Jude there earlier? Don't tell me he bailed and that's why he's-"

"No. He actually showed up this time and watched him while I was in a meeting. Everything was fine..a-and Adam didn't make any fuss when he left. But now he just started up the waterworks again and...god, I don't know what to do anymore.."

"Well you tell the little guy to hang tight, okay?" You reassured her as you grabbed your keys, jacket, and shoes. "I'm on my way over."

"Thank you so much, [y/n]..I'm sorry about this-"

"Don't be. It's not your fault. I'll see you in a few."

"Alright, see you soon."

After hanging up the phone, you headed out the door and got into your vehicle, driving to the Murray's residence.

You've been close friends with Jude and Lynn, having supported them through nearly every milestone of their relationship: when they had their son, when they got married, and....when they unfortunately went through a divorce two years later.

To this day, you still weren't sure what caused their relationship to crash and burn. They were highschool sweethearts who hoped to move into the big city and have kids--the kind of dream any couple would wanna live out.

But then they became incredibly stressed over raising just one child alone, and thought rushing into marriage would resolve things quickly.

Instead, it only caused more friction between them.

Regardless, you still wanted to help them out. So you've offered to watch Adam for a few hours while Lynn went to work, or if she just needed to get out of the house and take a breather.

He's a good kid...aside from being either quiet or having huge crying fits with consistent patterns to them. You suspected he saw something scary and violent on television once and hasn't recovered since.

Lynn mentioned a toddler stress assessment he took, showing his scores ranging from low to zero, indicating he didn't respond to the stimuli properly. She would have been more concerned if other children his age didn't share similar results, all apparently due to them being witnesses to a "phenomena".

Whatever it was, it must've been traumatic enough for him to have these meltdowns seemingly out of the blue.

But you always succeeded at calming him down. Lynn mom had yet to see your methods, though she's convinced you're some kind of "miracle worker", doing a better job at parenting than she or Jude could.

Fortunately, she was going to find out today.

You arrived at the house, exchanging sympathetic smiles with the exhausted mother before she led you to Adam's room. There, he was in the corner bawling his eyes out.

"Adam, sweetie? Someone's here to see you." She cooed, but to no avail as he didn't even look up at her. Sighing in defeat, she stepped aside when you reassured her you'll handle it.

"Hey, buddy. It's me again." You spoke softly, kneeling down on the floor in front of Adam. For a moment, he fell silent and glanced up at you, hiccupping on occasion.

But when you opened your arms up to him, he started crying even louder and clung to you tightly. "Oh it's okay, kiddo. Shhh, I'm here." You hushed, holding him as you stood back up. "[Y/n]'s here now."

He could only blubber your name in response, snot and tears dribbling down his face as he nuzzled into your shoulder. You rubbed his back, wishing you could take away whatever made him this upset.

Since that wasn't possible, you did the only thing you could do in that moment.

And that was sing.

More specifically, sing a song you heard on the radio earlier today. It's one of your favorites, which always helps you calm down after a stressful day; surely it'll help Adam in his case, too.

Although your voice was soft and quiet, it managed to reach his ears as you sang to him, and eventually it worked its magic. His sobs died into sniffles, and then sniffles into silence.

You smiled. "Did you like that one? That's one of my favorites."

He nodded, now resting his head on your shoulder and closing his puffy eyes as you kept rubbing his back, humming softly. Before you knew it, he was fast asleep.

"....are you serious? I've tried singing to him and it does nothing!" Lynn whispered, astonished you were able to resolve that in a minute, when usually it took her an hour.

"Sorry, I guess he likes my voice better." You chuckled lightly, before your eyes shifted around the room. "Where do you want him? The crib as usual?"

"...as usual. I know he's supposed to be grown out of it, but he refuses to sleep anywhere else."

"It'll happen eventually, I'm sure." You set Adam down, making sure the pillow was comfortably underneath his head. Then you turned back to Lynn. "So...you wanted to talk about something?"

"It's..on the kitchen table." She muttered, confusing you as she turned and walked out the room.

You followed her to the aforementioned section of the house, noticing documents on the table. One mentioned child custody, which was signed by her and Jude...but also had a third blank line on it as well.

"Jude and I had a long talk, and...we both decided that if, god forbid, anything should happen to us and we can't be here to take care of Adam...we'd make you his legal guardian." She explained. "I know it's a lot to ask of you right now and I doubt we'll even need this, but-"

"I'll sign it."

She blinked. "R-Really? I mean..there's no rush. If you need time to think about it-"

"My mind's been made up. With those broadcasts having everyone on edge, it's better to be safe than sorry. But I hope it won't come to that." You picked up the pen, clicking it as you sat down to read the document. "I just sign here? Do I have to go to the court?"

"No, you can just sign it and I'll bring it to them tomorrow." She swallowed the lump in her throat, choking back tears of relief. "I-I just want Adam to grow up in a better place and..we trust that you can do that should it be necessary."

Nodding in understanding, you signed the paper, slipping it back into the folder before you gave Lynn a hug. "If this helps you guys out, then it's fine with me. Does Adam know?"

"W-We're gonna tell him about it, soon. But..thank you so, so much, [y/n]. This means a lot to us."

"Of course, I'm here for you and him till the very end."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

--One Week Later--

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Lynn? Are you alright? I was driving by and noticed your door was wide open."

"......"

"Lynn? Jude? You guys here?"

"........"

"....Adam?"

"........"

"Anybody home at all? Hello?"

"........."

"C'mon, this isn't.....wha....o-oh my god. LYNN!! No, no, no, no, no!! What the fuck?!! Why would you...y-you....?! Oh Christ, I'm gonna be sick....I need to call 911-"

"[Y/n]? Where's momma...?"

"A-Adam! Don't go in there. Thank god you're okay, but wha...what are you doing out here by yourself??"

"...looking for my new friend."

"Huh? But..sweetheart, there's no one here but us."

"Not even momma?"

"N-No. She's..gone away for a while. And dad, too. But do you remember that talk we had about me looking after you?"

"Mhm."

"Well, that...starts now. I'll be taking care of you for a little while, okay?"

"Okay."

"Good, good..now let's go home."

--January 2002--

It's been 10 years since the worst night of your life, as well as Adam's.

You lost two of your best friends, and he lost his family.

The sight of Lynn's hanging corpse was forever burned into your mind, and you were still unsure of Jude's whereabouts to this very day. He was never found by the police..although you felt like they were too scared to investigate further and give victims like yourself the proper justice.

Nevertheless, you had a promise to keep. And so you've done your best to raise Adam as his legal guardian. Signing those documents all those years ago certainly streamlined the process of you gaining custody over him, and he didn't protest over it.

You never did tell him what actually happened that night. You don't think you'll ever be able to.

All you said was that you found him alone in that house and took him with you, clueless as to where his parents are. It was only partially a lie, yet you still felt guilty.

You tried giving him a normal life away from Mandela County, as it was simply too dangerous to live there. He grew out of the unusual behavioral patterns of his toddler years, thank goodness, and continued being a generally good kid.

In school, he took up a hobby in filmmaking, while also gaining interest in ghost-hunting shows and other subjects related to paranormal activity, including online forums discussing Alternates.

Although concerned about this interest he's been pursuing, you supported his passions.

After turning 14, he reached that "teen angst" state of his life where he was going through lots of changes and constantly flipping moods like a light switch.

And when you picked him up from school today, that bad attitude reared its ugly head for you to see.

He didn't greet you after getting in the car, keeping his headphones on as he stared outside the window, seething red. You did notice a small group of jocks, one of whom seemed to have a nosebleed while the rest scowled at your son, only to see you were staring at them too. They quickly scampered back onto the campus grounds.

But what you didn't notice was Adam rolling down his sleeves to hide his bruised knuckles.

As soon as you both got home, he threw his backpack onto the nearest table and stormed off to his room without speaking a single word to you.

Now any other parent wouldn't have tolerated his disrespect. But rather than chastise him when you knew he was already feeling shitty, you calmly walked towards his bedroom door.

It was partially open, though you gently knocked just to be polite. "Hey, kid..may I come in?"

"....sure. Whatever."

You pushed the door open more, entering to find Adam curled up on his bed, staring down at his music player as he shuffled through some songs. "Glad to see you're using the MP3 I got you for Christmas."

He didn't respond to that, instead burying his face into his knees and keeping his hood drawn over his head.

You sat beside him, knowing that you'd have to choose your next words very carefully from here on out. 'Wish there was some guidebook on caring for a grumpy teenage boy..but I'll have to figure this one out myself..'

"So..what're you listening to?" You asked, hoping to start up some kind of conversation.

"...if you care so much..it's Radiohead." His voice was slightly muffled, but you understood him as your eyes lit up.

"Oh! I love that band."

"You do?"

"Of course! You think I'm too old to enjoy it?" You feigned hurt, although when you heard him sniffle quietly, you sighed and rested a hand on his back. "Look, I noticed those kids staring when I picked you up. They look like the same jerks I used to meet in school. Did...they say anything to you?"

For a few long moments, he was silent, but eventually answered.

"They called me an orphan, so I punched one of them."

Your heart sunk. "Wha--Adam, you gotta be more careful. You could've gotten hurt or expelled-"

"So what? I'm supposed to just take it?" He glared up at you, his eyes red and watery. "I can't defend myself?"

"...that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that there's other ways we can deal with them without violence. But I agree that what they said was wrong." Frowning, you gently brushed his curly bangs to the side. "They shouldn't be using orphan as an insult."

"Yeah. They think both my parents are dead, but they're liars. My mom's still out there, and if she comes back we can prove them wrong."

Ah.

You could feel this familiar conversation starting up again, but this time you weren't sure if Adam was going to be placated by your answer anymore. The more he pressed about it, the more he got suspicious and tired of the same excuses.

"....are we ever gonna go back to Mandela and try to find her, [y/n]?"

You shook your head. "I'm sorry, Adam. But you know we can't. I...have no clue where we'd even start."

"Then why doesn't she try to find us, instead? She must have escaped those things by now..unless she gave up on me."

"Wha--" You blinked, having no idea how he could've drawn that conclusion so quickly. "What made you think-?"

"I-I mean..it makes sense, right? It's been ten damn years and she hasn't tried looking for us once?" He started getting agitated, taking off his headphones as they no longer comforted him. "Maybe she wanted me out of her life for good. I mean...I'm the reason her and dad divorced."

"Adam, their divorce wasn't your fault at all. I knew your mom for a long time, and she loved you a lot-"

"Then why does it feel like she abandoned me?!!" He snapped, throwing his music devices onto the mattress before scowling at you. "Just tell me the truth, [y/n]!! I can take it. If she said I was a burden, then fucking TELL ME!!"

You took your hand off his back the moment he started shouting, feeling yourself tensing up.

The one thing you hoped not to do was make him angry, and yet here he was...lashing out. But you tried not to take it too personally and stayed quiet.

Not long after his explosion, Adam saw the look on your face and instantly felt remorseful for snapping like that. His face began burning with embarrassment as he looked away, fresh tears welling up in his eyes.

"..I'm sorry, I...I just-"

"I know you didn't mean it. It's alright." You carefully wrapped your arm around him, bringing him closer to you. "But you were never a burden to her. That's the truth. She loved you and wanted you to have a better life..one that she couldn't provide. I know you don't understand everything right now, but one day it's all gonna make sense. I can promise you that, son."

He sniffled and tucked his face between your neck and shoulder, trying to stifle his sobs as he mumbled about still missing her so badly. You held him even closer, feeling the poor kid shaking in your arms.

Luckily, you knew exactly how to remedy this situation.

"Adam?"

"Y..yeah?"

"...do you want me to sing to you like I did before? I know you got your music player, but..my voice might help you feel a little better."

For a moment he was quiet, but you felt him nod against your neck. You smiled and kissed the top of his hood, before quietly singing one of his favorite songs:

"Such a pretty house, and such a pretty garden. No alarms and no surprises. No alarms and no surprises...."

He closed his eyes as he listened to your soft voice, tears dampening the collar of your shirt. He felt like he did nothing to deserve you or all of this love after the way he acted earlier.

You could've left him alone, or got angry right back at him.

But you didn't.

You never stopped being there for him.

After Adam calmed down a few minutes later, you let him go and saw him wipe at his face with his sleeve. While still embarrassed to be seen like this, he did feel a lot better. "Y-You...still got it." He chuckled. "You ever think about becoming a singer? Like in a band or something?"

"In my dreams, yeah. But I told ya I'm a big Radiohead fan." You smirked.

"Alright, alright..I guess you're not too "old" to like it." He rolled his eyes, but eventually leaned back onto your shoulder, relaxing. "Thanks again, [y/n]. I-I..really needed that."

"Anytime." You gently hugged him to you. "I'm here whenever you need me, son. I promise we'll go back to Mandela when it's safer."

"Together?"

"Together."

--September 2008--

You couldn't believe it.

You couldn't.

Fucking.

Believe it.

Adam went behind your back and did exactly what you told him not to do.

He left for to Mandela County in the middle of the night, taking a stolen car. Although he did leave you a note saying he was going on a "BPS mission" with Jonah and promised to be back in several days, you were still quite infuriated.

Especially since you've been meaning to talk to him about this little "group" of his.

All this time, you thought it was just some afterschool club he attended that helped him make friends and even find a girlfriend. He told you all they did was chat about ghosts and research paranormal stuff and nothing more.

But he's been using it as a cover-up to hunt down the Alternates who ruined so many lives, breaking several laws while doing so.

You only learned about all this through Evelin, who called your cell phone just a few minutes ago. The poor girl was in tears, explaining that she and Adam had a huge fight, and apparently he told her some....very hurtful things.

Things you'd never believe would come out of your son's mouth.

You didn't raise him this way at all.

You raised him to be a better person, not a rebel who thinks he can talk to girls with such disrespect and run away from home.

Why would he do this all of the sudden?

Did he just get too impatient?

Did he not trust you anymore?

What ever happened to the promise that you'll go to Mandela together?

Regardless, you apologized to Evelin for Adam's behavior before hanging up. Then you called his number, and he surprisingly answered within the first ring.

Usually it took three.

"Hey, [y/n]. What's up?"

""What's up?"" You mimicked, already growing annoyed. ""What's up" is that your girlfriend called me and said you insulted her. All because she didn't like these little "ghost hunts" you've been doing??"

"Oh fuck, did she really tell you about all our problems?" He groaned. "Look, I'm not the bad guy here. I swear. We had a petty argument and she freaked out on ME, and then I got a little defensive. That's all."

"...a "little"? You made her cry, Adam. I had to help her calm down before she could even talk to me."

"....well it's not my fault if she's too damn sensitive."

You couldn't believe how heartless he sounded, but you didn't wanna stay on this topic forever.

So you sighed, sitting down on the sofa as you wondered how you can convince him to stop these ridiculous "hunts". "Listen, son. I just think this is consuming your life too much-"

"But this IS my life, [y/n]! Jonah and I have been making some serious bank from this! Believe it or not, paranormal investigating IS a real job-"

"But it's not a safe one." You interrupted. "I know how badly you want closure on your mother, but those things won't give you any answers. They're only going to kill you if-"

"I stared at one dead in the face and it didn't attack me."

You froze, feeling your heart drop into your stomach. "...what?"

"Yeah! I found out I'm sorta "immune" to M.A.D or whatever, and I have footage of it!" He bragged. "It didn't hurt me at all. We had a pretty funny staring contest. I can send you proof of it so you don't have to worry about me."

"....I don't want "proof", Adam. I want you to come home."

"....not until I find out the truth for myself." Suddenly his tone turned spiteful. "Unless you know something that I don't."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not a dumb kid anymore, [y/n]. If there's something YOU knew about that night that you didn't wanna tell me before...now's the time."

For a few long moments, you were silent as you thought over his words, although his snarky response made your blood boil even more.

At this point you were fed up you were with him sneaking behind your back like this and breaking his promise. You only sheltered the truth of that night from him for this long because you knew how deeply it would hurt him.

But now he was practically goading you into laying it all out.

Maybe that's what you should do. Just to finally put this to rest and make him give up on these stupid "investigations". He was searching for someone who wasn't even alive anymore.

He may hate you, but if this is what he wanted...it's what he'll get.

"I'm sorry, Adam. But-"

All of the sudden, a loud sound akin to static noise crackled right into your eardrum, causing you to flinch and hold the phone far away from you.

Only then did you notice an unknown caller ID had popped up, the ringtone playing normally. You declined it and tried calling Adam back, but the same mysterious number showed up again before you could even dial anything.

You had no choice but to answer the stranger.

"Hello? Yes?"

"This is no longer your place to spill secrets, I'm afraid." A male's voice, staticky and coarse, droned in your ear. "Only I will reveal everything to our prophet soon enough."

"....your prophet? Who the hell is this?" Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I think you got the wrong number. I don't know any "prophet". Goodbye."

Hanging up, you hoped to put an end to that discussion and reach out to Adam once more-

"Of course you do, [y/n]. He's the son you've taken under your wing."

Every muscle in your body tensed.

The same voice was now inside your own home.

Your eyes searched the living room until you noticed the TV flickering to life, the screen displaying a hooded man with a face that looked as if it were melting.

"How do you know about him?" You scowled. "Don't tell me...you're the creep who kidnapped all those kids back in-"

"You played right into our hands. You've passed our test. I must say you've raised him well..keeping him in the dark about his truth." The Intruder taunted. "But it's time you open your eyes and recognize the favor you've done for us."

"...what favor? What does any of this have to do with Adam?!"

"From the moment you saw that boy's poor mother...he ceased to exist, too. I had taken him only for a moment, and gave you back something you promised to protect. But you've been living a lie, [y/n]. Your "son" was never actually him."

"You mean to tell me he's......?" Your heart dropped into your stomach, realizing what he was implying. But you clenched your fists. "N-No. You're lying."

"You had already failed them before you even realized it." The TV glitched to show the shadow of a certain woman with her neck broken, before displaying an image of the Murray house, before it reverted back to the Intruder's face. "You could've joined them, but we wanted to see how he'd grow under your watchful eye. Now thanks to you, we know we can blend into mankind and watch it rot from the inside out. And soon we'll awaken him, too, and rejoice."

"I don't believe you." You tried keeping your voice steady and calm, knowing he was attempting to inflict M.A.D on you. "If you think he's going to be anything like you freaks...you're dead wrong."

"Oh, but he will. He must. It's his fate."

"If he's one of you, then why would he care for the real Adam's mother like she was his?! And on that note...was hanging her just your little "distraction" so you could-?!"

"You accuse me as if I pulled the rope." He scoffed. "But I didn't. She just lost all hope and faith in finding him. That poor mother, too distraught at the sight of her missing infant---distraught at the sight of her missing infant, missing infant, missing infantmissinginfantMISSINGMISSINGMISSINGMISSINGMISSING...."

His voice suddenly began repeating on a loop, corrupted messages and symbols covering the screen. Through it all, you were still able to make out his haunting gaze and widening grin.

The only way he disappeared was when you grabbed a nearby chair and smashed the glass with it, shattering the screen to pieces. Electric sparks and smoke sputtered out of the TV, but besides that...it was finally silent again.

You huffed and took several steps back.

Yet you had little time to fully process everything he told you as your phone rang again. You hesitantly checked it, only to become relieved at seeing's Adam's number and quickly answered it.

"A-Adam! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, um..are you? What happened? You just hung up on me.." He sounded rather concerned.

"I didn't mean to. S-Something must've disconnected our call.." You scrambled to grab your keys, convinced he was in danger.

'Damnit, I swore I was gonna stay away from Mandela, but if he's still there....and HE knows about him-.'

However before you could get your shoes, you stopped and felt a sudden chill run up your spine.

One that left you with the feeling that you weren't alone anymore.

Your gaze slowly went to the front door, where a tall humanoid figure lurked in the nearest corner. It was overtaken by a huge shadow, although the whites of its elongated eyes were still visible, staring back at you.

Adam's concerned "hellos" on the other end fell on deaf ears as you watched the creature limp out from the darkness, revealing itself to be the most horrifying attempt at human mimicry possible.

The worst part?

It looked just like you.

"I'm here whenever you need me, son." It echoed your voice, stalking towards you and forcing you away from the front door, back into the kitchen area. "Something must've disconnected our call-l-l!"

"Who the hell was that? What's going on?!"

Finally hearing your son again, you swallowed back tears as you shakily reached for a large knife, keeping the phone in a tight grip.

This was it for you.

You've just been a pawn in their plans all along.

The Intruder had intentions to kill you with M.A.D by revealing you've basically raised an Alternate for them, and if that despair alone didn't end your life.....then this beast that somehow got inside your home will surely finish the job.

But screw that. Screw all of them.

You'll fight till your last breath if you must.

Your only regret is leaving Adam all alone when he's already lost so much in his life...but you didn't want him to think you resented him.

"I-I have to go. I'm sorry if I sounded harsh back there. I just want you to make the right choices. But if this BPS stuff makes you happy, then..keep doing what you're doing. Just be careful, okay?"

"Uh, sure. But why are you talking like that, [y/n]??" His voice was growing more worrisome. "Look, I'm sorry. I-I swear I'll come back home soon-"

"Don't worry about me...I'll be okay." You smiled shakily, not taking your eyes off the creature closing in. "Just take care of yourself out there. This world's cruel, but I know you'll kick it in the ass."

"Just wait a damn second! Don't g-!"

"Goodbye, my son. I love you."

You ended the call, dropping the phone to the ground and holding the knife with both hands, finally ready to accept your fate.

The Alternate howled with laughter, before it lunged at you with its claws and jaws wide open.

"GOODBYE-E-E!!!!"

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!!"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Uh-oh! Bad decision, [y/n]!"

.

.

.

--January 16th, 2009--

Adam staggered through the front door to his home, famished, dehydrated, exhausted....

And burdened with knowledge that made him want to die.

Only a few months ago, you disappeared after that concerning phone conversation you two exchanged. He hasn't heard your voice since, and when he returned to Werksha..you were nowhere to be found.

There was no sign of a break-in, or anything of that sort..but Adam was convinced you were taken just like his mom was--obviously by one of the Alternates.

So he went back to Mandela to continue his investigations alongside Jonah, growing desperate for answers. There had to be at least one who knew what happened to you and where you are.

His obsession with these hunts only worsened, turning him into a crueler person around those who questioned his reasons for "chasing" after Alternates. Evelin did break off the relationship for good, seeing as he was too far gone to even reason with.

He knows you would've been disappointed in him...but surely you'd understand why he'd do this. You understood him better than anyone.

You said it yourself. As long as he was careful, he can do whatever he wanted!

Yet nothing ever turned up.

Until the day he and Jonah agreed to help put a cat's spirit to rest, the "owner" offering them $500 a night if they stayed for three in total...

That investigation ended in a huge argument in which Jonah brought up your name and his mother, setting him off and indirectly causing his best friend's death.

And then he was all alone again, but acted like none of it bothered him and tried to quell BPS' online following with a memorial video.

Days later, the Intruder contacted him on his laptop and unveiled the truth about his existence--the same truth he told you before you died.

"Your skin is not your own."

"You're not the real you."

Those words were drilled into Adam's mind, and he could feel his own body going through an agonizing metamorphosis as he forced himself to drive back to Werksha one last time.

He barely was able to drag himself out of the van and through the front door.

But that's when he was greeted by a grisly sight:

Your rotting corpse slumped against the wall, a bloody knife in your palm and a deep slash wound across your throat, your clothes caked in dried blood.

You were never missing.

You died.

And whatever monster brought you back here decided to present you as some twisted "gift" for him.

Adam collapsed and screamed so loudly that it shattered the lights he turned on, deciding right there that he didn't wanna live this way anymore. He couldn't. He didn't wanna become one of them.

He wanted to join you while he still had his humanity left.

Yet despite all his attempts to end his misery, including using the same knife you used to stab himself and consuming enough bleach cleaner he found under the sink to make him vomit his guts out......nothing was working.

His body didn't fail him like he expected.

He still felt his bones breaking in all the wrong ways, and now his insides fucking burned like an inferno.

Eventually, Adam stopped and instead covered your body with his BPS hoodie, sobbing about how sorry he was for not being here for you, before he managed to crawl his way into his room--his one place of comfort.

Having no strength to climb onto the mattress, he just slumped next to his bed, leaning against the nightstand for support. He made the mistake of looking into the cracked mirror beside him...and wailed as he saw the same monster that robbed you of life staring straight back at him:

A gaunt, skinny husk of a boy with pupils of light and a horrifying facial expression that's impossible for humans to mimic.

God, he wishes he spent more time with you...had he known all of this was going to happen..

Did you know he was an Alternate? Is that why you were afraid of him coming back to Mandela?

What would you do if you found him like this?

Would you still hold him?

Would you still sing to him?

Or....

'That's it...I can sing...' He realized, slowly quieting down as he recalled all the times you sang to him whenever he was saddened in the past.

If you were able to calm him down easily, then surely he can calm himself down in a similar way in this situation. It's just his own voice this time around; it couldn't be that much different...right?

It was worth a try.

"...s-such...a...pretty house...and...and such a pretty gardennn...."

He ignored the creaking of the front door being opened, and the footsteps that echoed through the house, slowly approaching his room.

"No..alarms-s-s....and no....a-and no....!"

Suddenly Adam began hyperventilating, eyes filling with tears as he struggled to finish the line, despising the way it sounded.

It wasn't the same.

It wasn't your voice.

It was a voice that wasn't even his own. Just a broken and flawed attempt to mimic the real Adam's--the one who never even got a shot at life before it was stolen away from him.

If this didn't help him..then nothing could..

He wanted you back.

He needed your voice to sing and comfort him, just as you've done all those years ago.

He needed you.

But you're never coming back again.

Up to this point, a certain ex-lieutenant officer with a vendetta against the Alternates entered the bedroom, shining the light around until he found this kid sitting all alone and....

Singing a Radiohead song?

He realized his ears weren't deceiving him, but just as he attempted to confirm his identity-

Adam's jaw unhinged without warning, stretching to impossible proportions as he looked directly into his eyes, screaming and crying out with all the grief left in him:

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!"

[astoldbyaja]

Primal - Ch.11 ~AU Predator (Franchise)~

Being in that police station filled me with all kinds of emotions. I met Lucy’s father, Joshua, who hugged me almost immediately upon seeing me. He looked so relieved, I could only imagine the fear he experienced when hearing a club his daughter was at was shot up. He gave me his number just in case I ever needed anything, and said I always had help from him whenever it was needed. As relieved as I was to be around a survivor’s parent, I was still feeling somewhat drained from it all and, I had to make my leave.

Axel walked with me out to the parking lot.

“Thank you for coming here. I know you’ve been through a lot. How are you holding up?” he asked. As of right now, I really didn’t know what with the alien hunter coming in and out of my home, this heat wave, and the rise of gangs in the city. I felt at my limit. But I was not going to let him know that. I shrugged.

“I’m making it.” I replied.

“Do you have any family, anyone who can come and be with you?” he asked. I shook my head.

“I’m an only child of parents who passed long ago. Don’t keep too many friends around these days.” I replied as we were now standing beside my car. Axel nodded, his face seemed to agree with me.

“Yeah, I know how that is. Have you tried maybe going to therapy, speaking to a professional?” he asked. I honestly hadn’t, but right now I felt I needed to figure this out on my own, since I had way too much on my plate as it is.

“I haven’t but I know I should.” I replied. Axel nodded.

“Well like I said my door is always open if you ever need to talk. I know some good counselors who can talk with you too. You’ve been through something traumatic and just sitting up in that house alone isn’t healthy. I worry about you.” he explained. I nodded giving a gentle sigh and pulling my keys out of my pocket.

“Well I’m glad I have a cat to talk to. See ya later, Axel. Be safe out there.” I replied.

“Yeah you too, Teleya.” he said warmly, and I smiled and got in my car and returned home. Scorpion wasn’t there when I returned and he didn’t come back tonight. So most of the night, I snuggled with Pandora in the bed. Through most of the day, I continued my baby sitting on some weekends and going to work. Scorpion still did not return and parts of me were wondering if maybe I dreamed him up. Maybe the trauma from the shooting caused something inside of me to break and I imagined him as a coping mechanism. How I thought up a creature like that was beyond me. I was even talking to Pandora about how I saw the dead gang member’s faces when I slept. She would just stare at me from the end of the bed watching me.

I told her how I was afraid to go to sleep, and I wished I had more friends to talk to. Even though my situation was better than my last, I still didn’t fully feel as if I had a good quality of life. I thought about taking Axel up on his offer and talking to a therapist or a doctor, but the more I spoke to Pandora, knowing she was an empty vault I could fill with my thoughts and feelings, the more it brought me comfort. She took in everything I said and my words would be forever locked inside her body.

An entire month passed, and I had not seen Scorpion. Maybe he moved on to another planet or the planet he came from. Maybe he found a new mate. Maybe what he showed me with that… soul link wasn’t real. Maybe none of him was real. But the sounds of his shrills, his growls and even his purrs played in my mind. Even my body reacted to the thought of the low vibrations replaying in my mind. Often, I would squeeze my legs together when I found myself alone or even at work. remembering the time, he tried to take me on my back before Axel eventually interrupted us.

Rain poured heavily down on the rooftop and the harsh winds blew it sideways. The heat wave would be passing soon per the news and that was good. Pandora was curled up at the foot of my bed asleep. She was purring hard. I was also in bed merely playing on my phone. I was in a lavender gown merely relaxing. I loved the rain. Suddenly, a loud thud from above made me jump and look up. Pandora’s body jerked up, her head lifting to the ceiling. We were both silent and staring up at the ceiling. There was a rhythmic thud moving across the ceiling and we both looked into the hall. I was outside earlier, but came in and didn’t lock my balcony door since no one could get in it. I sat up quickly thinking someone was breaking in. I darted from the bed, Pandora scurrying off the bed and down the hall. I raised my pillow up and grabbed the knife I had kept under there and moved down the hall.

My body was shaking as I had a firm grip on the handle. Before I could even get to the end of the hall however, the door slid open and I gasped as heavy invisible footsteps entered the house. Water was pooling on the ground of the footsteps, and I swallowed hard as I saw bits of static. I panted gently, the burst of sudden movement finally catching up with me. More static was popping everywhere before a form appeared in front of me and there he was.

“Scorpion?” I asked. The yautja let out a shrill in response.

“Teleya.” the computerized voice of his mask responded. I noticed his armor was darker yet scratched and cut as if he were in some kind of fight. I noticed parts of his locs were pulled back. He had all kinds of weapons attached to him and slowly I approached him, the knife still in my hand, and I swallowed hard. Was he really here, or was this my imagination? His head tilted down some and I knew he was looking at the knife in my hand, but I refused to let it go.

“You came back… I don’t understand.” I replied softly, using my free hand to slowly move out to lightly poke at his chest. He was definitely real and thick and scaly feeling. He shrilled more.

“I return.” he replied in scaly English, and I watched as he pulled some tubes out of his mask, the hissing of air escaping was high. He then began to remove his mask revealing his white orbs. His large mandibles clicked some, his familiar scar still distinguished. He was real. He is real. I finally felt my fingers loosen around the knife and slowly it slipped from my hold and hit the ground. Scorpion didn’t even seem bothered by it.

“You were gone for so long.” I said to myself. I meant to think it but I couldn’t stop myself voicing. Scorpion let out a low snarl before raising his hand and I watched it move to the back of his armor.

“Had… hunt to… complete.” he said in a rough, thick tone. A hunt? And now I watched as he removed a long black object. I looked at it curiously wondering what it could be. Finally, he held the object out to me, and I realized it was a long spear with a black blade at the end. It had what looked like beads wrapped around the neck of the blade. I had never seen something so beautifully crafted. Scorpion held this spear closer to me with some force. What did he want me to do with it? Slowly I raised my hands to gently touch it. However, he let it go and quickly I grabbed it so it wouldn’t hit the ground. It had some weight to it and immediately I held it to my body to stop it from hitting the floor.

“What is this?” I asked admiring the spear more. Scorpion shrilled.

“Gift… of my victory. I give… to you… my mate.” he answered. I looked from the spear to him completely taken aback. He was giving this to me? Slowly, he got down one knee before me and bowed his head to me shrilling some and my eyes widened at what he was doing. Why was he doing this? After a few more seconds of silence, Scorpion stood back up and towered of me. I looked up at him again wondering what it was he was wanting me to do. I then looked back at the spear. It stood a few feet above me. It was beautiful but it definitely did not look to be of this world, that was for sure. I then looked back up at him and nodded up at him.

“Thank you.” I responded. Scorpion shrilled lowly, and his hand raised to gently slide over my neck. I could feel the sharpness of his claw against my flesh. I was sure with little pressure he could slice my skin open and it would be so easy. He continued to shrill lowly staring down at my neck. It didn’t take long to realize, he had been gone for an entire month and for this month, he had not heard me sing. So, taking a familiar tune of the Little Mermaid I gave him what he wanted. I started out low like before and as I began to sing higher, Scorpion’s entire body seemed to react, tightening up at the sound of my voice. His arms flexed, the muscles seeming to tense. I continued on until he was moving upon me like he once did, backing me into the wall, and purring deeply against my body to the point his purring vibrations poured into my body. Now I felt I had goosebumps, my insides shaking and my vaginal muscles once more were starting to have a heartbeat of their own. I felt my voice crack some as I could feel the strange sensations growing inside me.

How could his purring do this to me? I harmonized some more finally transitioning my singing from the Little Mermaid to Reminiscing with Grandma from the movie Anastasia. I would usually just harmonize through the entire song matching the speed and the music. It wasn’t hard to make up my own harmonizing for it. Now Scorpion’s arms were pressed into the walls, his nails digging into them causing slight holes. And now I suddenly felt his sharp mandibles against my neck and now I gasped. I was too nervous he would cut me if I made a wrong move. I was frozen against the wall, the spear still pressed to my chest and his body now pressing into me. I then feel something wet and warm slide up the side of my neck and I looked down with my eyes only. I couldn’t believe he was… licking me.

I could hear the low shrilling and growling emit from his body as he finally leaned back from me and immediately that heart beating between my legs sped up. I closed my eyes trying to calm myself.

“I smell… your… pheromone.” he said lowly, and my eyes snapped open and I looked up at him and then away with embarrassment.

“W-well it’s your fault. You’re the one purring and licking me. Any woman’s body would respond.” I muttered.

“Then you are… ready to mate then.” he said. Before my brain could process the fact he made a statement and not asked, I found my gown once more ripped to shreds and I was down on my back in the hallway with this large yautja looming over me with deep sensual white eyes.

[gabessquishytum]

Immortal throuple time? Immortal throuple time.

AU where Hob has made other immortal friends over the centuries, and this includes Calliope, with whom they both recognize as immortal and make an instant connection. But they never really date or address it despite the sparks, as they’re each hesitant to jump into another long-term relationship after the traumatic endings of their previous marriages (not to mention Hob is also low-key pining for his mysterious Stranger (who unbeknownst to Hob is slowly falling in love in return with every meeting), and Calliope isn’t totally over her ex-husband (who as we all know also doesn’t really do the whole “falling out of love” thing as a rule)). They maintain a friendship for the ages though, and meet up relatively often.

Time passes, Dream is captured, Calliope is captured, and they each separately vow that as soon as they’re free and fix the problems caused by their absence, they won’t waste any more time and do whatever it’ll take to win Hob’s heart.

Dream gets out, regains his tools, is called by Calliope to get her out, he goes to finish restoring his kingdom and deal with the Dream Vortex while she goes to fix the Laws that bound her, and they both happen to finish up and seek out Hob at the same time. Cue a lot of “wait, you two know each other? How??” from all three of them and a bit of Spider-Man pointing meme. Everyone calms down enough to talk, and Hob cries a little when he learns both of his dearest beloveds friends were captured and he had no idea. Both Dream and Calliope move to comfort him, finally clock each others’ feelings, and their eyes narrow at each other.

When they have a moment out of Hob’s earshot, there’s an immediate whispered argument: “but I called dibs!” “No, I called dibs!” “I was here first!” “I was here more often, finders keepers!” And a battle of courtship is declared. Whoever manages to thoroughly woo and seduce Hob Gadling first wins the prize.

Poor Hob is utterly bewildered and flustered by the flurry of gifts and dates and touching coming at him from two directions, and when he manages to gather his wits enough to say something along the lines of “you know I do have two hands” they’re too busy hissing at each other like cats to notice.

They only ever call a ceasefire twice, once when some third party tries to shoot their shot at Hob, and Dream and Calliope team up to chase off the interloper (under a mutual agreement that they’re only willing to lose to each other, anyone else is simply unacceptable). The other is when Hob finally decides enough is enough, invites them both over, drops his pants and informs them that they can learn to share. The ceasefire becomes a permanent truce as they both pounce on him and prove once again what a fantastic team they make.

-🪽anon

Love these idiots <33

Hob "I have two hands" Gadling is fully just TRYING to get them to listen, but Dream and Calliope are very invested in their battle of wooing. Hob is so frustrated with the two of them that he almost goes off with the person who was trying to shoot their shot with him, just to teach Dream and Calliope a lesson. Almost.

The reality is that Hob is HORNY and as much as he likes the attention and the gifts and everything, he feels like he's missing out on precious fucking time here!!!! He's happy for Cal and Dream to spoil him later but he'd much rather they figured it all out and fuck him first.

So there he is, jeans and underwear around his ankles, sternly telling his two would-be lovers that they'd better learn to share or else. Fortunately they take the bait, and... well. Hob has never actually had two people give him a blowjob at the same time before. Especially not his two favourite people in the entire universe. He cums embarrassingly quick, and although Dream and Calliope engage in a little elbow shoving over who gets to take the shot to the face... the truce is sealed there and then.

Hob does have two hands and he's very skilled with both of them. He's all for equal opportunities - two fingers in Cal's pussy and two fingers in Dream’s arse at the same time? No problem. The opposite of a problem, actually.

[mermaidsirennikita]

I feel like Lorraine Heath's two most recent books haven't been as angsty as her books usually are and I'm low-key depressed about it! Do you have any recs for hrs by other authors that are super angsty?

I really like both of them, especially The Return of The Duke (I just love the hate vibes and of course... the time he asked her to ride him~) but I agree that they aren't as angsty for the couple personally. More the plot. I will say that though I haven't read her latest yet, I do have it and I've read a few bits and pieces and.. WHEW. That one, I think, is gonna be a looooot.

I think you can't go wrong with Elizabeth Hoyt for angst. She writes excellent sex, and intense, flawed characters who often do a bit of emotional damage to each other.

Angst standouts include:

The Raven Prince--boss/employee, he's an earl and she's his widowed secretary so they can't be together. He's very angsty because he's scarred after a bout with smallpox and like. His wife cursed him as she lay dying in childbirth lmao.

The Leopard Prince--upper class lady and her steward, he doesn't feel good enough for her and also people are trying to frame him for mURDER

Scandalous Desires--pirate hero, widowed Quaker heroine; there's a lot of "he's gonna die" angst because, you know, pirates, and he's pretty mean at first in the beeest way

Thief of Shadows--virgin hero, widowed/older heroine, he's a masked vigilante and she knows who he is; also, she's infertile and is FOR REAL, there is no magic baby, and there's a lot of sorrow from her and feeling that she shouldn't keep him from the kids she knows he wants. EXQUISITE novel, one of the best ever.

Duke of Midnight--duke hero/impoverished lady's companion hero; they have a cat and mouse thing where she knows he's a vigilante and blackmails him into helping her free her brother from imprisonment. They begin this passionate sexual affair, but he's courting the woman she's a lady's companion to.

Sweetest Scoundrel--uptight heroine/wild hero, but she's deeply traumatized after being sexually abused as a child; they begin a slow burn affair where he's super respectful of her boundaries and helps her learn to enjoy her body again, but they have every intention of not staying together. It is *chef's kiss*

But all the Maiden Lane books are worth reading, and they are all ANGSTY.

Sarah MacLean does angst very well. Her heroes are always like "LEAVE ME TO ROT AND FEED ON MY CARCASS IF YOU WISH, I AM SUCH TRASH". MacLean heroes listen to Hozier and go "he gets it", but only after they leeearn.

Angst recs:

A Rogue By Any Other Name: childhood friends to enemies to lovers, a forever fave, he does her soooo baaad and soooo gooood but he has to make it up to her

No Good Duke Goes Unpunished: she was engaged to his dad and accidentally framed him for her murder, lmao

The Day of the Duchess: a daringly angsty book where he cheats on her while she's pregnant (he has reasons, not that it matters) and then she loses the baby and they separate for years before reuniting

Daring and the Duke: may be better if you read the two previous Bareknuckle Bastards books more (depends) but lol.... he kinda tried to kill her? It's another book-long grovel

Jeannie Lin's The Dragon and The Pearl made me like. Tear up. because it was like so star-crossed and the tension got so high, and they just couldn't spit it out. Also: has one of the hottest non-sex scenes I've ever read.

Indigo by Beverly Jenkins is gorgeously angsty. He's an upper class guy she nurses back to health, as they both work with the Underground Railroad. The heroine was enslaved as a child, and she's go a lot of understandable trauma related to that. The mountains this hero moves for her... It's gorgeous.

Dreaming of You is my favorite Kleypas because of the high angst. I mean, he literally sends her away for months and becomes a shadow of his former self. He like, confesses his love in a SOBBING. BLUBBERING. MESS.

Unmasked by the Marquess by Cat Sebastian. Another very high angst book. One lead is AFAB nb, the other is a cis man. They're friends, and then they fuck, and he's like "be my wife" and they're like "dude no". A LOT A LOT A LOT.

The Madness of Lord Ian MacKenzie and Lady Isabella's Scandalous Marriage by Jennifer Ashley. Madness has a hero who's on the autism spectrum and has been an outcast and literally imprisoned for it. Lady Isabella has a couple that spent time apart and is now back together because she knows someone is stealing his identity, basically. He's trying to win her back, despite all their issues.

The Bride Goes Rogue by Joanna Shupe. Hero and heroine were betrothed by their parents, and he dumps her. They hook at a masquerade and start a no strings relationship that quickly becomes intense.

The Duke Gets Even. Enemies to fuckbuddies. Uptight duke who's head over heels x brash woman who refuses to commit. A favorite of mine.

The Prince of Broadway by Joanna Shupe. Hero is trying to destroy the heroine's father, agrees to "mentor" her in running a casino and gets in way over his head.

Duchess by Day, Mistress by Night by Stacy Reid. A cold duchess gets into an entanglement with a self made man. It's supposed to be for fucking, but it gets FOR REAL.

I'm currently reading the Lady Charlotte's Society of Angels series by Grace Callaway, and it's both fun and angsty. The heroines are a part. of a Victorian Charlie's Angels thing, which I LOVE. She's also like... one of the hotter historical authors I've read.

Olivia and the Masked Duke--she's a 19 year old ingenue type, he's the 31 year old widower who's all damaged from his first marriage; together, they fight crime and she's the brat to his dom; he feels VERY angsty about despoiling her but does it anyway

Pippa and the Prince of Shadows--childhood friends to lovers; she's a widow with a shitty first husband, he's a Scarred Hero (TM); has one of the most lovely and emotional "let me see your scars" scenes I've read

Anyway, these are some!

[casspurrjoybell-17]

Heart’s Choice - Chapter 29 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

- Carlos -

At the end of a long, somewhat traumatic day, John drives me over to the hotel where the department has set me up to stay.

It's not much to look at, an older style place with two stories and rooms accessed from the outside of the building.

Rolling to a stop in the parking lot, John leans forward, peers through the windshield and swears.

"Fuck. I can't leave you here."

"What? Why not?"

I frown and give the hotel another once over.

It's seen better days but it's not that bad.

"It's not secure. One flimsy door between you and the world? I don't like those odds."

"Well, lucky you don't have to. I'll take 'em," I grumble.

John did all the real work today, managing a team of police and forensics specialists as they documented, investigated and eventually cleared the scene of Lucille's demise but I'm dead tired anyway.

All I want is to fall into a bed, shut my eyes and hope I don't dream about bodies under the floor or dead old ladies in bathtubs.

'Thanks for the memories, Universe. Now how 'bout you send me something good for a change?'

"Carlos, come home with me. At least my place is secure."

I lift my brows at him.

"Is it? What happened to the angsty vampire spiel?" I do my best to imitate his growly Batman voice. "You're like a drug to me, Carlos. There is no us."

He scowls at me.

"David did something to help me control my... urges. At least in the short term. And I'll keep my distance. Besides, with this new debacle and all the paperwork it comes with, I doubt I'll be home much anyway."

"What about David?" I ask. "Would I have to share a bathroom with him?"

John shakes his head.

"He went home. He's a busy man and he trusts me to handle things, at least in the short term. No one's going to force you to do anything against your will. Especially not me."

I waver. John's house is spacious and clean, the hotel looks cramped and questionable.

John's house is removed from town and secure, the hotel is too close to the river park for my liking,and John has a point about those flimsy doors.

"The dogs miss you," he says and I swear under my breath.

It's a low blow, hitting me with the dogs when he can tell I'm wavering.

Fine. Two can play that game.

"Kiss me."

"What?"

He blinks.

"I said, kiss me. Prove that you can kiss me and not want anything else."

His eyes lock with mine, catching the evening light just right so they swirl with kaleidoscopic autumn fire.

Then he blinks again and turns away with a sharply indrawn breath.

"I can't."

"Right. Well. There's that, then."

Sighing, I pop the door open and get out of the car, slinging my backpack over my shoulder and rolling my head to crack my neck.

John gets out as well.

"What about your... other friends?" he asks. "Can't you stay with someone?"

I start walking towards the lobby entrance and he follows me.

"Yeah, probably. At the moment, I'd rather be alone. I'll be fine, John. My connection to the case is dead and if revenge was the motive, there's no one left alive to want it. My guess is the demon was too strong for Lucille. The first ritual opens the doorway. The second establishes the covenant. The third completes it. But demons don't like to be bound."

I fall silent as I open the lobby door and step through.

A bored-looking receptionist greets me without looking up from his computer.

I check in and collect my room key.

John waits outside, watching unhappily through the glass until I rejoin him.

"So, what? You think the devil made her do it?" he asks and I shrug.

"Demons aren't interested in making pacts or stealing souls. Not the ones we're talking about, anyway. They're creatures of desire. They just want. Wannabe occultists like Lucille perform complex rituals in pursuit of knowledge or riches or eternal youth or whatever they're after but it's not really the ritual that attracts the demon. It's the wanting. They feed on it."

A shiver runs up my spine.

The demon in the dark, where I saw Kyle, wanted... something.

At the time, I was pretty sure what it wanted was me.

Now, I'm less certain.

"Anyway, if a demon gains the upper hand, it'll take what it wants and give nothing in return, which is what I'm guessing happened to Lucille."

John looks unconvinced.

"What about the Kyle problem?"

"Which one?"

"How he got up under the bridge. Lucille didn't do that alone."

"If she had an accomplice, he'll have split if he knows what's good for him."

"What about the detective, Sparks? How does he fit in?"

I shake my head.

"I don't have all the answers, John. I just know I'm done with this case."

"And if it's not done with you?"

"Then it's a good thing I know a vampire who can track me from across town."

John huffs in frustration and rubs the back of his neck.

"Carlos... I can't just leave you here."

"Could you leave McKenzie or Nguyen?"

"Yeah, probably. But I'm not..." he draws a breath midsentence, cutting himself off.

"You're not what?"

He locks eyes with me and speaks so quietly I can barely hear him.

"I'm not in love with McKenzie or Nguyen."

A tiny electric shock zaps my heart and a wave of dizziness washes over me.

"In love?" I shake my head. "You can't be in love with me. We barely know each other."

"You don't think I doubt it? Love is something I've read about in books. I've never felt this way before," John's tone is solemn, his gaze soft and I realize he's let his guard down.

This is the most vulnerable I've seen him and I know my next words could make or break whatever this thing is between us.

It's hard and it hurts but the only fair thing is to tell the truth.

"I don't know how I feel, John. I need more time. I'm sorry."

He releases a breath and looks away, the tension in his broad shoulders easing as he accepts defeat.

"Fine. Fine, if you're sure it's what you want. Just... call me if that changes. I'll come."

I nod, unable to say more and wave awkwardly as I walk to the corner of the building and unlock my room.

John watches me until I'm inside and give him the thumbs up through the window.

Then he gets in his car and drives away.

As his taillights vanish around a bend, I rest my forehead against the glass and sigh.

'Right. This is why the Universe doesn't send you good things, Carlos. Because when it does, you push it away or ruin it. Way to go.'

I give myself a minute to wallow in depression, loneliness and regret and then I acquaint myself with my new, temporary home.

It's not terrible but it's not the Ritz, either.

There's a bed, a nightstand, a dresser and a TV, a mini fridge and a microwave, a tiny closet and a cramped bathroom with a tub that could kindly be called 'child sized.'

The wallpaper is a speckled beige, the carpet is a dark reddish brown that was probably chosen for its ability to hide stains and the framed landscape on the wall is about as generic and contrived as a painting can be.

All I really care about is the bed, though and a quick inspection proves the sheets are clean and the mattress is passable.

It'll do just fine for me.

[thenightlymirror]

This couple in this story on this podcast, it feels like they’ve perfectly compartmentalized every fault in their relationship into this haunting. It’s so effective. They talk about each other with perfect love, unfailingly. But when they talk about these haunting episodes, they clearly have had very miserable lives and fight a LOT. But it’s always the poltergeist’s fault.

There was this family in an earlier story, well, a few poltergeist families, where clearly they are projecting their anxieties onto the house. They’ll be like, Dad or Mom was full-on in the throws of addiction and was constantly taking it out on us in violent abusive ways, as was my boyfriend and my peers at the time, and there were some really bad vibes in the house. Total mystery!

I know the feeling! My main take away right now is that: people have very interesting relationships to their dwellings. A house is never just a house. Its insides are your insides. Time is allotted to rooms. It’s basement is your basement. Its liminal spaces are your liminal spaces.

Almost every one of these stories is told as a sleep event. If I insisted that every strange night of sleep I had was a haunting of some kind, I’d be pretty psychic. There are certain experiences that guests on the show will describe, and for me it’s like, Yes, I know exactly how this feels. And I wonder, there must be certain kinds of events that are basically on the seizure spectrum, that have a certain epileptic affect I recognize, but not necessarily every supernatural event would have that same affect. There are all the artifacts of dreaming one might experience, jumps in time, forgetting, stories with vague endings or that involve “coming-to”. And the ubiquitous sleep paralysis stories, which, account for a surprising amount of supernatural experiences.

As I might have wondered here a few times, to what extent could some of these hauntings and all the lifestyle changes that occur with them be explained by long-term viral infections? Like, what if Epstein-Barr or flu varieties or some viruses we don’t even know about were giving people low key neurological damage? You barely get sick, but you get tired, deep feelings of dread, sleep disturbances, paranoia, hallucinations. I often think, ah, there’s some kind of mold in these houses. But the weirdness of Long Covid makes me wonder if other things could do that.

If a person could have a somewhat objective distance to contemplate the strangeness of dreams, especially lucid dreams and how artificial any feeling of verisimilitude really is, I think a lot of supernatural experiences could be recognized in that light. If you have enough deja vu and seemingly clairvoyant dreams, you realize, we just have no authority at all on the causality of our thoughts or recognizing the order of things. When I think about how many times I was dreaming about something that was happening shortly after I awoke, it’s clear what “I” experience is in no clear linear order.

This is not even broaching the peculiarities of shared memories. A group of friends, or a family, remembers through stories. I remember my own life through stories. They are so malleable. As I get older, my most potent emotional memories are so played out, they’ve been replaced with vague corruptions of tertiary events I can’t even be sure ever took place. Granted, I’ve had a very traumatic life. And I talk about it a lot more than most people. There’s bound to be some displacement.

More to the point, there is a whole range of experiences which are really just relatively common exotic retreats of the mind. And people just aren’t very good at self-reflecting about things like how it feels to listen to a song, or the slightest sadness or mortal seriousness, or depression and trauma, which is not to difficult to come by in this life. But it’s taken me so much to be able to have some kind of idiosyncratic vocabulary to talk about dreams or ecstatic or transcendent experiences, to be able to talk about entering and exiting a dream, or the sometimes arbitrary signification of profundity or truth in certain experiences. The most powerful experiences you can have as a person, are exactly what they are, and can also be examined skeptically. Those feeling are just little glands squeezing out their final juices to convince you of something. Something “ineffable”. Either it’s ineffable because its content is in fact nil, despite the fact we always have some deity in our arsenal to take credit, or the content is the division between that excited state and everyday life.

One opinion that still annoys me is the particular angle of this argument that “You can’t just believe that this is all there is.” As in, we should take it for granted that everyday life is nothing but a hell of work and consumption, small talk and anxiously averting authentic communication, because of course that’s all the natural world could allow. No, we must also have spirits. Without noticing all that argument forecloses. Yes, everyday life is horrifying. Change that and then show me ghosts.

[jams-sims]

Saw the fnaf movie, and there was nothing wrong with it. (the fnaf movie was played right next to Taylor swift movie- low key the funniest fucking part of my movie going expierences.)

I do take issues with the way they did the story. (I feel like Scott made this movie with this storyline on purpose). Now I don't think the movie needed to be omg horror! Fnaf has always been kinda corny and on the lighter side of kid murder. So idk how people were going into this movie thinking it was gonna be rated R??

It gave very early 2000s horror movie.

What I disliked was the fact they made a story that was pretty straight forward. At least for the first 4 games. More convoluted for no reason. The way they delivered exposition through Vanessa was entirely unnecessary and I hated every minute she was on screen.

She dragged the movie down for me, we did not need her.

The story could have easily been-

Micheal the son of Afton who has memory problems from his traumatic childhood. Is now taking care of his younger sister Abby. He loses his job and needs to get another one quickly so his sister isn't taken away from him.

We have two ways we could use Matthew (Actor) we can keep him as Afton. I had no problem with that plot point in the movie. OR we make Matthew (Actor) Henry. (Henry is the founder of fnaf). Henry realizes it Micheal (aftons son) because of his case files. Matthew (Actor) as Henry is trying to find Afton so he uses Micheal. You can easily say Micheal and Abby are under witness protect program. They were given new identity blah blah. But okay let's say Matthew (actor) has to stay Afton. Okay the same thing applies Afton realizes he is looking at his eldest son. An gives him the job to work at the Pizzeria. We keep break in but instead of it being a (oh my god Micheal gonna lose his job). They are the reason why Micheal is the security in the first place. People are breaking in.

Why would Afton send his son the pizzera? Because Afton is a serial killer and crazy that's why. We go through the whole song and dance with the animatronics.

We cut out Vanessa and replace her with Henry. Henry can be the therapist for Abby, he can be a guidance counselor. Why? Because if Afton can get a second job so can Henry and it would make since that Henry because now Henry is hunting down William.

The kids in the dreams perfect stay, Micheal gets these dreams all the time. But suddenly the dreams are changing and the kids are talking to him. William goes to talk to the guidance counselor or the teacher or whatever position you want to put Henry in to, to replace Vanessa.

Henry of course when talking to Micheal can say some cryptic shit like. "That places has a lot of lost souls in it." this causes Micheal to look the place up on his own.

Stop sideplot comes back in, someone catches Abby alone at home. Micheal suddenly has to take Abby to work with him or risk her being taken away for neglect.

We keep all the little subplots and singing and dancing with Abby and all the animatronics the same. Micheal (again not remembering who his dad is but now armed with the info about the dead kids.) is now trying figure out how to set them free.

Fast forward the animatronics are acting weird they attacked Michael. They try and grab Abby and in their confusion try to stuff her into a suit to keep her safe. From Micheal who looks like their killer. Why the sudden change? Because Afton seeing his eldest son has come back to the Pizzera. Cause everything to go haywire. It all comes to a head where Afton tries to gaslight his son into joining him in being a killer.

Instead of Abby drawing a picture of a bunny killing the kids. It's a picture of the bunny killing them but with Micheal as a protector. The animatronics turn on Afton instead of Micheal and Micheal and Abby run away.

Bam I took out Vanessa and kept everything the same except for adding Henry to replace Vanessa and making Afton play a more active roll.

But other than my nerdy ass "omg the story" everything about the movie was fine. It wasn't like a home run but it was passable.

[theminecraftbee]

sooo,,, I know you’ve mentioned some of this on other posts, but for magical girl scar au what’s the outsider pov like on all of this? Like does the everyday civilian treat attacks as terrifying or an inconvenience? Is scar the media’s favorite or a figure that people are wary about cause he ends up representing some of the other magical shenanigans?

OH YAY OKAY I GET TO TALK ABOUT THE CIVILIAN REACTION GO EVERYTHING OKAY

so in the beginning people are confused and terrified. like, the first true spirit attacks are like. a guy gets possessed, turns into a monster, starts destroying things, and the police can’t do anything, and it’s only stopped when this unknown magical figure shows up and hits it with their magical bow and it’s like. HUH. and it’s not a fever dream it keeps happening, too. and at first the mayor tries to get the national guard in on it but they can’t normally move in before the magical girl shows up and fixes the problem.

so like, early on it’s terrifying. the thing is though that this is a theoretical monster of the week show where these attacks are implied to be FREQUENT. so it slowly starts to turn into an inconvenience. it’s still frightening, mind you; everyone knows someone who’s been possessed, or at least someone who’s started having tiny magical abilities of their own and gets hurt, so the city just… adapts around it. property prices plummet lots of people move out but the people who stick around treat it like it’s just another Tuesday. the support group for people who have been possessed exists (actually probably more than one support group). it’s a little. get used to the constant low-key magical threat to your life or spend the rest of the foreseeable future panicking and well, by now we all know that eventually people just adapt and treat a thing as Normal even if they’re constantly low-key stressed and worried about it because humans can’t exist in a state of high alert forever it has to give eventually.

really REALLY outsiders, like, people who do come in from outside the city, often find it strange how normal the people in the epicenter treat the often terrifying and impossible magical attacks. but like… if they can’t treat it as normal, what do they even do? so they do. after a few weeks they probably start drilling for it in schools. response plans are made. individual families start coming up with ways to check in on each other. people adapt.

i think that warning systems are set up in the city. they aren’t as effective as, say, bdubs’s magical precognition or something, but they start to get pretty effective because people get pretty heavily drilled into their heads “if you see a monster call this number” and in the age of cell phones this reporting happens pretty dang fast. they repurpose tornado sirens I think, or maybe old air raid sirens or something, idk. by the end of the fic the city is VERY USED to being the epicenter of a magical calamity and like it SUCKS a lot of the time. as I said everyone knows SOMEONE who got traumatized by this whole mess, and normally if it’s not you it’s an immediate family member or friend. but also I think the city would take weird stupid pride in it. like yeah they have magical girls what does YOUR city have. a military that can’t do shit? that’s what they thought.

now, as for media opinions and civilian opinions on the magical girls themselves… mixed! i think most of the city itself ends up fond of team scar out of sheer virtue of “team scar are often the only guys who are effective at solving the problem”. however there are a lot of people who think these clearly untrained vigilantes clearly make matters worse and should work with the government directly. it doesn’t help that team scar and the military end up with an antagonistic relationship for shadow organization reasons, and there are Opinions on this. there are also people who note that team scar only started appearing when the attacks began and blame it on them; other people think this is absurd. every time team scar fucks up when trying to save people (and oh boy does that happen) there are people claiming they should stop, people defending them, LOTS of people talking about accountability (which ends up being a debate topic even with team scar because on the one hand they Can’t because shadow organization on the other hand stuff like the support group ends up making it clear to them that they DO fuck up and they probably SHOULD have some mechanism in place to hold them accountable for that just how do you do that when the obvious government option would end up involving basically selling you out to people who want to shut you in a lab and bring about their own magical ascensions or whatever like rock and a hard place here).

i think people from outside the city feel a LOT more willing to criticize how the local government handles team scar too like national news is a LOT more typically scathing than the local guys. this is mostly because of the difference actually getting rescued and/or being in the situation makes; the city is pretty protective of team scar from outsiders trying to get things from them, even at their most critical and antagonistic, because there’s a difference between THEM criticizing the local heroes and literally anyone else doing it. when push comes to shove I think team scar is much better liked than disliked locally and it’s a bit more ambiguous outside of that. like there are people who blame them but also they’ve seen a bit too much news footage of scar bleeding and injured trying to protect someone their neighbor knows to really hate him, you know?

however. grian. oh boy. since grian actively fights scar and even actively helps the monsters in the late game before his eventual redemption he’s even more deeply polarizing because he’s a VILLAIN but he does DRAMATIC SPEECHES and over time stories start to spread of him minimizing damage, actually, and preventing collateral even as he fights the local hero, and look I think he’d be largely hated and his eventual heel turn to join team scar would be the subject of HORRIBLE debate in basically every regard, but I think people would pick up on the fact he’s not entirely evil some too, which leads to even more nonsense.

this is a BIG ramble but as you can tell I have thoughts about this thank you so much for asking,

[gammer-bunny]

I’m surviving with 2 hours of sleep and 5 cups of coffee at the moment so I feel too much and I just want to talk about things I feel about kinnporsche I apologize in advance if none of it makes sense also sorry for the bad English 🙏

1)please use your logic T-T

So for a start, I have to say I don’t understand the people who criticize a character in a book, series, or a manga without considering the context of it like they don’t consider the character’s back story, traumas, the universe where the story is happening in and how it can affect every decision that character makes.

As a clear example, we have kinnporsche it’s a mafia series; the plots and characters are not supposed to be your everyday people.

Kinn is not supposed to be your next-door boyfriend, no one will watch this series and going to be like “yeah that’s the goal, I need a relationship like that omg yes queen” the characters are messed up, and all of them no exception (I’m just saying if you are falling for monster there is something twisted about you too)

So when people come and except Kinn to be a perfect boyfriend it just makes me laugh cuz he was never supposed to be perfect. (to be honest, in my opinion, BOC made him too soft if I was supposed to write him I would have made him so much darker and more distant)

All I’m saying is before coming for a character’s throat please check if their action makes sense in the situation that they are in or not, ik you all are keep able of it we saw you all did it for Vegas.

Two times that Fandom didn't understand the assignment 😭😭😂

2) Kinn`s character is a walking trust issue

( it was established from the start)

The thing about Kinn is he is a lone wolf, and he is a traumatized man with childhood trauma, a bad dad figure, lots of lost dreams, and a heart that doesn’t match his lifestyle ehich is also broken , also he doesn’t have someone to turn to for comfort and support he is used to doing things alone. He has his brothers, yes but they don’t do emotions.

His older brother is out of it so Kinn let him be and his youngest is just never there so Kinn has no choice except to bear the crown alone, the crown that he doesn’t want. And his father sees him more as an investment that has to work rather than a son.

So he learned how to deal with everything alone, his dead dreams, his broken heart. His hopes and of course his plans as well.

So not sharing his plan with Porsche from the start is not out of character because he is not used to it but he said he was going to tell him when Porsche was locked up but my theory is he wanted to tell P much sooner, when? At pool when he found P and V together so he said fuck it if he is not going to listen to me I’m not telling him my plan either but then everything got fucked.

( yes I really believe something important was lost here)

3) why I’m low-key disappointed in Porsche

Because! Where did it go?? Where is all that character development?? Nowhere, they threw it out of the window poof gone.

What do I mean? Let me tell you. In the past episodes, it was like Porsche was actually suspicious of Vegas especially when he mentioned the bar thingy we thought he was playing Vegas in his own games that he actually doesn’t trust him. All that meditation I was like yes no more impulsive decisions but NO it all went south.

He decided to trust the man whom everyone in the major family hated (babe there must be a valid reason for that), yeah I know he was trying to help Kinn in his own way but his way was wrong I was very disappointed when he chose Vegas over the man he loves and that aside Kinn is also the leader he needs to have more trust in that man.

The other thing is Porsche says Kinn doesn’t trust him which is not true Kinn does trust him he is just really cautious but he trusts Porsche enough to let him go with Vegas (his nemesis) even though he had plans he let Porsche go.

And the other thing is Porsche doesn’t trust Kinn as well !! it’s a two-way street, my boy, Porsche must trust Kinn more as lover and leader and Kinn needs to learn how to open his heart to Porsche.

4) can we all stop babying Porsche?

Don’t come at me I’m not saying Porsche is not our baby cuz he is ; what I’m saying is Porsche’s character is way more than a little waist, cute meow meow, my bobo, oh so pore my heart is broken for him.

He is the same man who was kicking ass in undergrounds fight he is a keepable man. He is strong and smart, he is sexy and he knows how to use it in his favor, so I’m disappointed that the writers are not using Porsche episode1 more. Porsche makes some impulsive decisions because he is emotional and his heart rules his brain( no hate it'sjust how ge is, just as for kinn his emotionsare on low because he train that way kinn is gray and kinda distant it'sjusthoe they are). We even saw it in the way he was trying to save chay (come on that was not a good plan even if Vegas was helping him it was no real plan just go there trust God and try to do something 😂😭) but I understand him as a person who is out of this world I completely get him but I believe if we are going to hold characters accountable for their actions we should consider both parties in the relationship

I just hope they let us see that Porsche grow as a badass bodyguard who is mentally and physically superior because he has all the potential

I wanted to talk about communication problems too but I’m tired, Also Pete and Big are superior

[meili-sheep]

Diluc's Mondstadt Relationships in detail 2/4

So here is part 2!

0 / 1 / x / 3 / 4

Diona and Diluc

Sooooo first off. Diona likes the Darknight hero more than Diluc. But it's through that relationship they are slowly getting closer. Diona still doesn't openly accept Diluc but enjoys hunting with him. She really admires his combat and hunting skills. Though she always says her daddy is better, Diluc will agree (I don't think he actually is, but ya know).

They would be such good friends because they can relate to each other so well because of their father's Issues. Cause I believe Diluc Realized the Crepus well a good man... was not a good father to Diluc. And he kind of sees a similar situation with Diona. And he knows he won't be able to force anything, but he'll stay and support her as best he can. And should anything happen to Draft Diluc will be the first to pick Diona up and make the Winery her home? He makes sure Elzer and the others BACK THE FUCK OFF. He probably does even try to help her make awful alcoholic drinks... And probably teachers he how to makes juices and nonalcoholic Drinks... Maybe even suggests she only make Delilous nonalcoholic drinks that people might like that taste of better.

And that's the final action that would endear Diluc to Diona forever

Eula and Diluc

Eula was strictly taught to look down on the Ragnvindrs for not being True blue bloods. Ragnvindrs are servents! They were meant to protect The Lawrences.

This always kind of confused Eula. Because at the same time, Eula's father tried to suck up to the Ragnvindrs, trying to work marriage between Eula and Diluc. Eula gets now the idea was just for their Money. But of course, Crepus would never entertain the idea. So she only ever met Baby Diluc once. And Is he was one of the first people who was so honestly lovely to her. And that's stuck with her. And it's why his aloofness now bothers him so much.

She doesn't know his reason for hating the Knights, but he totally seems unapproachable compared to how he used to be.

And I think, though, she still catches him taking out camps or helping people around town. And maybe they do run into each other once

"Oh... Hello Master Ragnvindr."

"Hello, Captain Eula."

Eula is a little surprised and low-key upset he used her first name, but I think Diluc would catch that quickly then awkwardly backtrack

"Ah... Apologizes, I thought with how much you've been fighting against the stereotype of your surname... I thought you liked being called by it? Was I wrong?"

And it's their Eula learns how much respect Diluc has for her and her struggles. And how he will never look down upon her. It's honestly a little Embarrassing! So she probably does her thing about having revenge.

This is pretty much my 1 straight ship with Diluc. Because it's something, I can start off with deep mutual respect. *chef kiss* We love healthy relationships here. Also, they totally have light novel vibes, something like "I Married my family's aloof enemy to take revenge on my evil father!" Also, Just... 2 highly traumatized people bond by who they are related to searching for freedom. Goooooood shit.

Fischl and Diluc

I don't think Fischl gets a lot of acceptance from the people of Mondstadt. Very very few people believe she's a princess. And Most don't of the Town play into her ideas even if they believe her. But Well. Diluc does. Diluc calls her "her highness," to him, it's just like creating a foreign diplomate or something. And honestly, though he doesn't believe Fischl, Diluc sees no problem in playing into her dream. It makes her happy. She's not hurting anyone. So he plays along.

I think that Fischl is good at her investigation job. And Diluc sees the potential in her. And often slips the pieces of information she might need. Might even start teaching her ... some spy ways. Definitely Teachers her infiltration and how to subtle prey information and put clues together.

If there was a detective agency in Mondstadt, it would be Fischl and Diluc. With Fischl being the face and DIluc just standing in the background helping her along the way. (Bruh, now I'm typing this out, I wanna write it)

Jean and Diluc

Now, this is a tricky one. I feel Jean still has a lot of trouble because she hardly feels good enough to be grandmaster and can only think... Had things not gone down the way they had. Diluc would be in her position. Diluc was Acting Grandmaster, and Diluc would have better-handled things. (My low key Kaejean bonding is them feeling they live in Diluc's shadow but realizing they both are blaming Diluc for their own insecurities and slowly learning to build each other up)

In Short, she has trouble seeing Diluc outside of being a night. It's hard for her to see him as a merchant. It a hard to see he's happier now.

Diluc realizes this, and he very much dislikes it. Partly because it's doing Jean no favors herself. And he feels responsible, so he does try his best to be friendly with JEAN, not the acting grandmaster, JEAN.

I personally think Diluc isn't the best at communication and often doesn't know how to express himself. So he just often does these actions that don't always come off the way he wants, but it's at least more apparent he's trying to express himself (See my bird chiluc post). So often, if Jean comes down to the tavern, she often gets a free drink specialty drink. Usually just handed to her and Diluc telling her just to drink. Kaeya will complain, but Diluc will often play it off like "I owed Jean a favor."

And it is a little reminder, even if a small once Jean needs to relax.

[gregorygerwitz]

I will always ask for more, lol! Tell me more about truly and mouse and how she adopted him! I love that!

Should I go to sleep on time? Yes. Am I going to? No. I'm going to make gifs and rewatch clips of the three (3) actual Mouse & Trudy scenes so I can yell about the little found family that I love so, so much, because at any given moment I am thinking about them. this is more important than being rested for work honestly

The thing is, we don't get a lot of content for them, and that makes sense considering how big the ensemble was back when Mouse was on the show (there was a full Intelligence team, plus two regular patrol characters, whereas now we really only focus on Intelligence, which has open spots, and there are no regular patrol characters). All we get for them are small scenes that I love to read into. Because I'm me.

Basically, Mama Bear Trudy™ has low key adopted everyone at some point, but there are a few people she adopted especially hard. Mouse is one of them.

(under a cut because so many gifs and so much babbling) (warnings for: brief mention of Mouse's time in the army and allusion to his medical discharge, gifs featuring guns, discussion of typical procedural violence including a snippet of canon dialogue about a murder-suicide inside of a police station)

The first scene they actually have together is in 2x16, when Trudy is interviewing him for the tech position in intelligence. Mouse spends the entire time fidgety and anxious

affectionately, Mouse.exe has crashed. which is fair. interviews are stressful. especially when this poor boy has mommy issues and now he's faced with *gestures to the energy in the room* it's just. he's not having a good time. which means this is Trudy's very first impression of him that isn't some story Jay told about their time in the army and it's heavily implied that Jay doesn't like talking about it, so the first she could have heard of Mouse was idk maybe Adam making a comment about the case he helped with in s1

and she can kind of... tell that he's anxious. mostly because he's really not hiding it.

and for context, the dialogue in this scene kind of adds to the Vibe™

T: "So, you were a Ranger." M: "Yes, uh, yes. Sergeant. I did, uh, two tours in Afghanistan." T: "Why'd you leave the unit?" M: "Well, the Army gave me the confidence to pursue my dreams. That's why I'm here today." T: "What's this about a medical discharge?" M: "Yes. Yes, ma'am." T: "...Why the medical discharge, Mouse?" M: "Uhm... well, there was a- there was a convoy, and, uh, I was- I was in the- the lead Humvee. It- it was me and Jay, actually... um... um..." T: "Hey." M: "Huh?" T: "We're good."

it's the way I could write essays about this scene alone and the way Mouse zones out while thinking about his trauma and the very gentle "hey [...] we're good" like yes Trudy I also immediately adopted him that's extremely valid

But that's really the first hint we get of their relationship, this very gentle moment that is such a sharp contrast to his other interview with Voight earlier in the episode. That one was very "explain your felony record and prove that you deserve to be here," whereas Trudy is so much more... relaxed, almost? He's already proved himself to Voight, so she kind of just brushes off the record and it's not up to her to decide if he's capable of the job, she just has to give him clearance and... basically check his vibes.

And then she gets to see this moment of vulnerability where he's being asked to be open and talk about this huge traumatic thing that happened to him, and you know what? maybe she will go easy on him. if he's good enough for Jay to call him a friend and good enough that Voight is willing to look past his record, then that's good enough for her too.

And by the time we get to the next real scene they have together (in 3x03), they're closer. They have this little kind of banter that's so light even in the busy lobby while she's trying to handle like 20 people at once. Even when she brushes him off, it's so much gentler than the frustrated orders she was giving to the other officers and civilians around them.

M: "Hey, Sarge. I need you signature on this requisition form. Voight wants new pinhole cameras." T: "Not now, Mouse." M: "He was very clear about his instructions. You gonna send me back empty-handed?"

Then, as he's being pushed aside, Mouse still does this little "no!" that is just. I love it. I love him. It's so glorious I mean. look at him.

It's this very familiar moment in the midst of all this chaos and I love it so much.

And then seconds later, Mouse gets grabbed, and who's the first person to react? Mom™

immediately, Trudy has her gun out, and she's ready to go. Mama Bear Mode™ is activated. someone threatened a cub and she's out for blood.

and I've already screamed about this little moment a million times, but I've been thinking all day about how Mouse is so calm through all of this. he's got a gun to his head for hours during the episode, and he's very calm through most of it, even putting on a braver face at one point. hard and determined instead of calm and neutral. but there is one moment where he shows his fear and it's this moment:

when he looks from Voight, to Kim, and then to Trudy. and it's the one time all episode that he shows his fear, and we see that Trudy also sees that look, and she's still pissed someone has her son at gunpoint of course she's pissed

There's another moment, later in the episode, when Mouse is inside and still being held hostage, where Trudy goes to Voight to talk to him about it, I don't have a gif of it but she does that anxiety thing where she keeps tucking her hair back even when it's already behind her ears? that constant I Need To Be Doing Something motion. it makes me feel things

T: "There was a guy who walked into the 31st, years back - bad domestic." V: "He had a .32 in his sock, killed his wife, a cop, and then himself." T: "The district, the front desk, it's a sacred place. If people don't feel safe walking in there-" V: "Trudy. This isn't gonna end like that." T: "You make sure, Hank."

She never says that she's worried about Mouse specifically, but she doesn't have to. Even Voight is quick to jump in and reassure her that no one is going to get shot or hurt like that - and the most obvious person in danger in that moment, the only person he would need to reassure anyone about, is Mouse. Who, let's be honest, Trudy would have legally adopted and put it on paper if he wasn't 30.

the fact that we get no follow up on all of Trudy's worry and we don't even get to see her reaction when they get him out of there safe is an attack on me personally. that is his Mom™ and we don't even get to see her checking on him after that ordeal? fake. I guess I have to write the fic myself.

And then we really don't get any other scenes of them together until over a season later. We don't get any major interaction, rarely anything with them in the same room, until 4x05. Then we get the favors, and all of the implications that come with that. Trudy even goes to his goodbye party at Molly's.

And apparently the CPD writers are trying to torture me because we've gotten two episodes in s9 that feature Trudy sitting in Mouse's old tech cage and helping Intelligence. Sitting in his chair and doing his old job. And it makes me feel things.

TLDR;;

Trudy took one look at Mouse and just automatically adopted him which makes me feel incredibly perceived. but unlike Voight who's upstairs playing favorites, she consistently looks out for him and shows concern and that makes me feel so many things I miss them I want this back.

[bethanyactually]

Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better!

Thanks for tagging me, @forasecondtherewedwon <3

Relationship Status: very happily partnered

Favourite Colour: sunflower yellow, turquoise

Favourite Food: avocado, mango, coffee (all of which I just had for breakfast!), french fries, kosher dill pickles, Japanese curry, spicy noodles (specifically this recipe), hot & sour soup, roasted vegetables

Song Stuck in Your Head: I've been humming and singing the Barenaked Ladies songs "Jane" and "Brian Wilson" for the past several days. No idea why.

Last Thing You Googled: omar najam, because I wanted to be sure I was spelling his name correctly

Time: 10:56am EDT

Dream Trip: I'd still love to get to New Zealand someday. In the meantime, I just booked tickets to go see @pepperf in a few weeks! It's been almost three years, we're excited!!!

Last Book You Read: currently reading The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland In a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne M. Valente for 11yo's homeschool; also re-reading Exit Strategy, the fourth book in the Murderbot Diaries, by Martha Wells.

Last Book You Enjoyed Reading: Corinne by Rebecca Morrow. Also super-enjoyed Becky Chambers's A Prayer for the Crown-Shy, the second Monk & Robot book.

Last Book You Hated Reading: oh, I actually have an answer for this! A couple years ago there was a book on my younger daughter's homeschool curriculum that I wasn't familiar with, so I read it first, and it was fine, a story about a boy who decided to enter a dogsled race in an attempt to win the cash prize and save his family's land, except in the end of the book THE DOG'S HEART BURST AND HE DIED AND THAT WAS THE END OF THE BOOK. THE DOG WHO WAS HIS BEST FRIEND AND CLOSEST COMPANION. Literally there was maybe one page after that. I was like, this is not a book I think my 10-year-old needs to read, and I found a better book for us to read in its place. (I'm fine with books that include animal death, which is a part of life sometimes, but the way this book handled it was so clumsy and abrupt and weird, especially for a book that was aimed at upper elementary kids. Nuh-uh, no thanks.)

Favourite Thing to Cook/Bake: Recipes that involve a lot of chopping. Anything, really, as long as it's something I want to eat. I just like to cook and bake.

Most Niche Dislike: I'm sure there's something but I'm drawing a blank.

Opinion on the Circus: I went a handful of times as a kid because my dad always got free tickets through work. But I hated clowns and it was always kind of traumatic. I like cotton candy?

Do You Have a Sense of Direction: Not much of one, no. Though I do have a really good memory so I learn my way around new places relatively quickly.

low-key, no-pressure tagging folks from my recent activity: @jicklet, @stuckonaglacierwithmacgyver, @twelvemonkeyswere, @gbkoda, @winterlovesong1, @waxedpaperdoor, @possumsinatrenchcoat, @tabbyofwisdom, @authorizedpope, and anyone else who wants to do this.

[thedamageofherdays]

This week's (16-08-2021 - 22-08-2021) reading log is here. This week's reading log is super duper long and filled with lots of good things (my apologies for the long post, I really could not find a good spot to do a read more). I discovered some new favourites and re-read some old favourites and while I had an intense week personally at least the fics I read were absolutely phenomenal. I do recommend checking out the warnings as some fics are a bit heavier/angstier and you might wanna be prepared. Most of these fics are Stucky but there are a couple of other ships in between.

If you are looking for more fun and/or good things make sure to check out the @marveldisabilitycelebration as well to see all the awesome art, fics, meta, etcetera people created! And while I am mentioning events I am a mod for let me also just quickly mention that sign-ups for the @stuckygiftexchange are still open until the end of the month <3

Favourites are marked with a 🌻 Fics that are only available to AO3 users are marked with a 🔒 and Tumblr fics are marked with a 🍀

🌻 The Bends by dreamsinthewitchouse @dreamsinthewitchouse [Danbeau, side Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

Memory is not a house you can just walk back into after finding the key you thought you’d lost. It’s a thing you wade into and out of, rewriting it as it rewrites you.

It’s not without its rewards, either - recovering a memory about Maria and Monica, about her life, feels better than socking a thousand bad guys in the face, better than all the photon blasts in the world.

Then again, realising there’s still memories she can’t access, even after all this time, feels like drowning in space.

Not the one out there - the one inside her.

🌻 Sweet & Salty by musette22 @musette22 [Stucky, 3k words, Teen]

Idiots in love. That's it. That's the fic.

When life gives you lemons by moonythejedi394 @moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 34k words, Explicit] (11/15 chapters)

Or 13 Terrible Things to Do With Lemons Other Than Making Lemonade

Steve Rogers is a home health nurse. He works for an agency, which assigned him to the aging Winifred Barnes, the one and only Silent Era Hollywood darling. As her needs increased, she requested the agency assign Steve to her full-time. She could pay for it, so she got it. Steve then moved in with her, becoming her caregiver; he cooked, he cleaned, he managed her medications, he made sure she was comfortable.

Winifred's children treated him less than ideally. He was the help, after all. And then Steve had the audacity to go and turn out to be eldest son James Barnes's soulmate. No one saw that coming.

🍀 SamRhodey Tumblr Fic by ipoiledi [SamRhodey, ? words, Teen?]

“Wilson, this is Rhodey; Rhodey, Wilson,” Tony Stark says, and suddenly some six foot tall sexy guy is shoved right in front of Sam, and they both stumble a little, bumping into each other. This is a crowded party. “You guys have things in common, right?” Stark asks. “Uh, Army stuff. Talk about that. I hate wallflowers; stop wallflowering and talk to each other.”

Shorteralls by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 6k words, Explicit]

The first time Bucky ever saw Steve Rogers, he was struck by how Neanderthal-like his response was. It was immediately followed by a bout of mental scolding. The second time was just about the same. The third time, it was actually appropriate for Bucky to start a conversation with him, at which point he was determined to be the gentleman.

No such luck. Steve Rogers is, always has been and always will be, a relentless flirt. These days, Bucky's Neanderthal-ist feelings about Steve are consensual and highly appreciated. More so now that they're having a baby.

what the fuck are perfect places anyway by tigerlilycorinne [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

Steve clears his throat and stands. “Well, I should head in. I might want to begin packing.”

Bucky stills. “You won’t,” he says, trying to sound commanding. It only comes out uncertain. “Don’t.”

Steve shakes his head. “Maybe not tonight,” he says, and Bucky knows they’ll be discussing this again soon.

“Then stay. Play… play cards with me or something.”

Steve’s eyebrows jump up, his mouth tugging up in another of his bemused smiles that do things to Bucky’s insides, but he drops his hand from the doorway and steps back into Bucky’s room. Somehow, Bucky feels as if he’s won—not the war, just the battle.

Steve won’t stay forever. But he’ll stay for cards.

Steve and Bucky, on the run after Civil War (with a few alterations to canon), are laying low in Wakanda. But they can’t stay there forever.

🌻 honestly thought i’d be dead by now, but what you can trust is that i need your touch by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 105k words, Explicit]

Bucky is 37 years old; he’s unmarried, hasn’t had a Sub of his own, is definitely not ripped, comfortable at his job as an Advanced Practice RN at Brooklyn General ER, and just got his Five Years coin from AA.

Steve is 26 years old; he’s unmarried, his last and only Dom has Alzheimer's, he's worryingly muscular, uncomfortable in his job as the government’s poster Alpha for masculinity and strength, and worries more than he should about his BMI.

Unfortunately, Steve and Bucky meet initially in a not-cute moment. Bucky’s tired as shit thanks to the sudden alien invasion that shook New York and Steve is tired as shit because he hasn’t slept more than 20 minutes at a time in – well, since 1936, probably. Bucky’s Alpha instincts get irritated at the sudden presence of another "Alpha" into his territory and Steve’s suppressed submissive tendencies latch onto this grumpy bachelor Alpha and he only suppresses it further.

Bucky’s grumpiness and Steve’s duckling impressionism aside, both of them are a mess. But since both of them are a mess? Their messes seem to fit pretty well together.

Deep Sea Diving by Aida Ronan [Stucky, 5k words, Explicit]

Steve's wallowing in heat-related misery under a shade tree in Central Park when a man walks by in bright red booty shorts and a crop top. RIP Steve Rogers. It was nice knowing you.

honey, make this easy by steebadore [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

Bucky likes the way he looks. His silk button up with the tiny gold polka dots feels soft on his skin and is tailored perfectly; no pulling at his chest or belly. His hair falls in shiny dark waves and his skin is smooth and dewy. He looks expensive. He looks taken care of. He looks like Steve’s.

🌻 let's take it back to the start by howdoyousleep @howdoyousleep3 [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

How it all began.

This sleepwalking through my life. by barthelme [Stucky, 1k words, Explicit]

The internet is an interesting place and when Bucky came home (or, when he came to live with Steve), Steve did a lot of research. Apparently, it’s not safe to wake a sleepwalker. He assumes that waking a sleepwalker with traumatic dreams and PTSD is beyond just being frowned upon.

And he tells himself--has told himself--that this is safer for Bucky. That if he were to stop him and wake him up, that Bucky would be mortified to be slurping on his best friend’s cock. That all of the improvements he’s made would be lost, would be repressed, would be just--

They’d be back at square one.

So he lets Bucky do it.

🌻 the way i've been craving by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

"Lunch break at 12:30. My office. Hope you’re hungry…"

It’s the ellipsis that sends Bucky’s insides swimming warmly, his heart beating twice as fast against his ribs where he sits in class. Senator Rogers is concise, direct, to the point. Without an ellipsis this is lunch, this is a meeting. With it though?

This is a booty call.

nasty but classy by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 4k words, Explicit]

“No, you don’t have to know the purpose, that doesn’t matter. Nat showed me this challenge where couples drink a lot of wine and get drunk together but they can’t touch each other. And whoever touches the other first has to...has to give the other head.”

🌻 Put It on Repeat, It Stays the Same by giselleslash [Stucky, 20k words, Explicit]

Steve and Bucky have a one night stand that turns into a friends with benefits situation. A weekend snowed in at Bucky’s apartment brings to light how much that really doesn’t suit either one of them.

Greetings to the New Brunette by victoria_p (musesfool) [Stucky, 10k words, General]

"You said he should have a hobby. That it would help."

"I meant, like, knitting or coin collecting. Motocross, if he was feeling antsy. A baby's not a hobby. It's lifetime commitment."

🌻 Rogers & Barnes: Partners by triedunture [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]

Steve and Bucky have to pose as a couple for a mission. Nat insists it really is the only option. She's checked.

The complication: unbeknownst to even Natasha, Steve and Bucky's friendship has been rocky ever since Bucky confessed his tender feelings and Steve left him out in the cold. Can asexual, completely-in-love-with-his-angry-best-friend Steve complete the mission and win Bucky's heart?

(The answer is yes. Yay!)

this will be our year (took a long time to come) by biblionerd07 [Stucky, 4k words, General]

Bucky's therapist is worried he's using Steve as a crutch and wants him to try going on outings without Steve. It wouldn't be terrible, honestly, if Bucky could just manage to open his mouth and say something to Steve.

I'll hold my breath by Little_Lottie (tfwatson) [Stucky, 8k words, Mature]

Sometimes Bucky’s hands flex in Steve's direction. Neither of them knows exactly why, but at least one of them has a hunch.

Bucky touches everything but Steve, even though Steve is all he really wants to touch.

Start from the Beginning by Mumble_Bee [Stucky, 13k words, Explicit]

What about a sex pollen fic where the pollen-ed one doesn’t remember getting hit in the face with a sex flower, and wakes up midway through the depollenating?

Or: the one where Steve wakes up on his back with a stranger buried balls-deep in his ass.

Match by emphasisonem [Stucky, 4k words, Mature]

The situation’s actually kind of funny from the right perspective, Bucky thinks as he reads the message for what feels like the hundredth time. He’s finally matched with a hot, funny guy. Tall and broad and clean cut. An absolutely breathtaking smile. Bucky’s walking wet dream. And he’s good. They haven’t messaged on the app, but Bucky already knows him.

He knows him because Steve Rogers is an art history professor at his university. His art history professor.

Best friends and married since childhood by StuckySituation [Stucky, 1k words, General]

Inspired by @/peterssquill's post in tumblr: "bucky and steve got married on the playground when they were like eight and though neither of them would ever admit it to anyone, even each other, they still consider it official"

~♥~ ♥~ ♥~

“Natasha, stop trying to set me up with every woman you meet, I’m-”

“Too shy? Too scared?”

“No, I’m-”

“Too busy? You’re mostly retired these days, not a good excuse anymore.” Natasha smirks and then drawls: “Or just too gay?”

Steve flushes at that, even if isn’t true -- he’s bisexual, not gay. “Let it go, Nat, I’m not looking for anything. I’m already married, for fuck’s sake.”

Clearly not what she expected. “What.”

Steve grimaces. He didn’t mean to tell anyone that, ever.

“Sorry, can’t talk about it right now!” he says and jumps out of the plane.

Nobody Should Be Alone on a Holiday by emphasisonem [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

“So, um-” Bucky begins speaking again, pulling Steve from his less-than-work-appropriate thoughts. The brunet has shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark slacks, and he’s shifting from one foot to the other as he smiles shyly. “I have a question for you.”

“Shoot,” Steve grins, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his broad chest. Bucky swallows deeply as one of his hands comes up to pull at the collar of his button-up, and Steve can’t help following the motion of his Adam’s apple.

“I was, uh-” Bucky continues- “That is, I heard you don’t have Thanksgiving plans?”

In which Bucky finds out that Steve's going to be alone on Thanksgiving and invites his coworker to spend the holiday with him.

🌻 It's Been A Long Season Through by thiccbuckybarnes @thiccbuckybarnesfic [Stucky, 49k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes is in desperate need of a change in scenery, which is why he makes the foolhardy decision to quit his job, leave his asshole of a fiance, pack up his life, and move to his grandfather’s old farm all within a single day.

He expects confusion, hardship, and maybe even failure. But love? He wasn’t expecting that.

--

Or, a Stucky Stardew Valley AU that nobody but me wanted and that’s ok.

oh, peach pit, where'd the hours go? by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 10k words, Explicit]

Can't see the forest for the trees.

--

Or, Steve learns that just because he and Bucky got their happily ever after, it doesn’t mean the past won’t come back to bite them.

I'll find my way by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 725 words, Teen]

Steve had watched Bucky fall, and nothing had been the same since.

AU-gust day 19: Daemons

special delivery by glim @glim [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

It's not that Steve's bad at taking care of himself when he gets sick; he just wishes he didn't have to all the time.

At least he can order most of what he needs online. That's some small comfort, that he can have soup and ice cream and everything else brought to his door.

at first chance i'd take the bed warmed by the body by spacebuck @spacebuck [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

This close, Steve can see exactly how beautiful his hands are. He’s never really noticed before, or at least he’s never really had a reason to notice, but the man’s hands are large, tanned like he works outside all day. There’s an endearing callus on the heel of one of his palms, and Steve can’t quite work out when calluses became endearing.

Steve pauses the video. Swallows hard. Casts his eyes around for anything that’ll keep his mind off the hands on his screen, off the words inked into those hands, the delicate shape of a bird’s wing, the curling edge of a vine.

He looks down. The name of the channel is right there, blaring the man’s name right into Steve’s brain until it feels like he’s known it all along.

Bucky Barnes.

OR: the one where Bucky's a youtuber who solves puzzles on camera, and steve's smitten and horny

🌻 Rock On! by millesable @marvelousescapism [Clintasha, 700 words, General]

“Hey, Romanoff!”

He lifted his hand, index finger and pinky finger raised, thumb out, all other fingers tucked. Their secret sign; their confession for the world to see, safe in the knowledge that the world wasn’t listening.

“Rock on!”

🌻 You Like the Way I Look by dontcallmebree @iamthe-wo-manwhocan [Stucky, 2k words, Explicit]

Bucky sidles up to him, hand boldly coming to rest on his chest. “What about you, big guy? Care for a dance?” Steve watches Bucky’s eyes twinkle with satisfaction, somehow already knowing he’s got Steve on the hook.

A decade out of the ice, Steve Rogers returns to New York. Reeling from a battle against the Chitauri, a night with the troublesome Bucky Barnes might be just what he needs.

Join the Rebellion by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 765 words, Teen]

Bucky knew he shouldn't be out after curfew, but he couldn't resist the urge. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew it was where he wanted to be.

AU-gust day 20: Dystopia

🔒 Five Days in December by mywingsareonwheels @mywingsareonwheels [Evanstan, 4k words, Teen]

“Shit shit shit shit...” muttered Chris to himself, glad that the sound of piped Christmas carols was drowning out his swearing amid the picture books. Most of the store was heaving even though it was Sunday, he’d been recognised at least three times, finding presents for all of his nieces and nephews was proving far more of a headache than expected, and he’d just sent a pile of copies of "Strictly No Elephants" tumbling off the bookshelf.

He scrambled about trying to pick them all up, and then dropped them again as someone bumped right into his backside. He lost his balance, caught himself against a bookcase, and a landslide of "Carter Is a Painter’s Cat" joined "Strictly No Elephants" on the floor. He yelped.

“Ah fuck, I’m so sorry… Chris!”

* * * * * * * * * *

London, December 2021. Amid cats, books, and the cold English drizzle, Chris finds everything he was hoping for and thought he would never have.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Reaching for Fire by dixons_mama @dixons-mama [Stucky, 7k words, Explicit]

Bucky has always felt a fire in his heart (and other body parts) when it came to his boss, Steve Rogers, but he's made sure to never feed those flames. When he finds out about Steve's second job, though, he's tempted to let that fire out.

i've been dreaming of a face like yours by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

Bucky is about to busy himself with making a small dinner for himself when he stops in his tracks at the figure drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and smirking at him.

It’s Steve.

“Surprise, sweet boy,” he says before setting his cup down.

--

Or, PWP reunion sex

🌻 Somewhere, Under Your Skin by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 16k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes treats himself to a one-night stand after having a very bad no good day.

The sex is good--great, even. Might be the best sex of his life.

But Bucky wouldn’t have slept with the guy if he had known that he was going to continuously run into him every day for the next fucking month.

--

Or, a Big Grump Bucky has a hot one night stand with a college kid who is popping up everywhere in his everyday life and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

(Written for HYBB Bingo Square: Grumpy Bucky)

i've played heartstrings before but not in your key by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 11k words, Explicit]

He glances down, seeing a folded couple of papers, before peering up at Bucky. The older man is biting his bottom lip, making it pretty and red. Steve wants to run his tongue across where his teeth are digging into his flesh.

"What's this?" Steve asks, setting his phone down, emails forgotten. Bucky shrugs and looks away.

"I dunno. You tell me, genius," he says, sounding bratty enough that it makes Steve's dick twitch in his pants. Jesus, there has to be something wrong with him.

Steve glances once more at Bucky, who now has his arms crossed against his chest and is pointedly not looking at Steve, before picking up the stack of folded papers. He opens them, seeing a collection of maybe five or six sheets of paper. His eyes immediately land on the list of familiar words with negative next to each one. -- Or, Steve Rogers is a jealous, possessive little shit that wants nothing more than to mark up his boyfriend and stake his claim. And Bucky knows it. (And he likes it.)

🌻 I'm Home (With You) by BonkyBornes @padfoot-and-the-marauders [Stucky, 2k words, General]

In any other circumstance, the apartment would've been perfect. But it was today, and the fact that he was here meant he wasn’t out searching. He knew they hadn’t had any leads for weeks and he knew Natasha was right; all three of them were exhausted and a break would do them good. It just felt wrong to Steve that he was comfortable while Bucky was still out there—somewhere. Probably cold. Probably hungry.

The knock came again. Sighing, Steve unwrapped his hand from the dog tags and remembered how to move. Cold wind and snow greeted him when he opened the door. The solitary figure was walking down the steps, collar popped against the chill.

“Did you need something?” he called.

The person stopped. They were still. And then they turned. *

Or, the Christmas Steve deserved after Winter Soldier.

The portrait by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 915 words, General]

Steve Rogers has a Gift. He can help people find their soulmates, all he needs is some art supplies, a quiet place, and eye contact.

AU-gust day 21: soulmates

Maybe A Muse by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 2k words, Mature]

When Bucky Barnes needs extra money, he’s appalled that his best friends think he should become a model for the art department on campus. Shy, nerdy, and socially awkward, he’s not sure that’s something he feels comfortable doing. Still, he needs money, and he likes the idea of becoming someone’s muse. The problem is he had no idea two things would happen. First, one of the students in the class is exactly his type; second, he has to model nude.

[necromancy-enthusiast]

I like to think that in Organization XIII, each of the other founders is directly responsible for some aspect of Zexion being poorly adjusted/low-key traumatized/ill-equipped to deal with 'normal' life in a healthy way. Even Lexaeus. They all did kinda manipulate Zexion/Ienzo when he was a little kid by turning him against their father figure and ultimately making him into a Nobody, and that's pretty screwed up. Especially given how loyal he is to the Organization and at least back before they became Nobodies, he thought they all had his best interests in mind.

I feel like his loyalty is at the very least a bit of a hold-over from that. I enjoy them having a sort of screwed up dysfunctional family dynamic, and I think there's a lot of potential in exploring exactly how that's negatively impacted Ienzo/Zexion. Like guys, the kid is already autistic, he's going to have enough trouble adjusting to the world without you coming in and making it even harder.

They're not abusive to him, they just devolve into being absolutely terrible guardian figures. The thing is, when you think you don't have emotions that's about as good as ignoring your emotions, and from personal experience that is very unconducive to being a functional, healthy human being with good relationships. They all care about him at least a teeeeeeny tiiiiinnny bit (even Xemnas in his own weird little way that he doesn't really understand, but maybe that's mostly Terra talking) and some of them maybe, possibly, perhaps feel just a tiiiinnnny bit guilty about roping him in to their bullshit. Just a bit. An absolutely miniscule amount. But as a result, he gets away with things most of the neophytes wouldn't so much as dream of, like lecturing Xaldin about his form when he's training.

Don't worry, there's lots and lots of therapy after they regain their hearts because they may have all been absolutely shit at talking about their feelings before but eventually they at least start trying to do better.