#I have such low standards at this point. if they don't at least hold hands again i will cry.

[hazbinfallinginaspiral]

The Vees are Overlords but also a business, therefore they hold meeting and work with clients right and workers? Well what if a Business client or worker unknowingly said something about Retro!Reader in a meeting?

If its before Vox it come be commenting on Retro's cooking, as I see Retro would always ensure Vox had home made snacks for while hes working. Something like "That House Wife of yours is decent in the Kitchen, I see why you keep them there"

If its before Valentino I assume its after Retro brings him something between shoots, some fool would comment on Retro's looks or ask why Retro isn't one of Val's 'Stars' kinda a "Bod like that should be in those sheets"

Velvette would most likely be dealing with jealous models who don't know fully who Retro is but Retro gets to walk in, get the nice personal design treatment from Velvette and not have to talk the cat walk? Bitch fight would incoming.

Hope you don't mind my ramblings and if this sparks something Hooray!

He would destroy the person in question if it’s an insult^

Vox is always boasting about Retros cooking, how skilled and talented they are. He literally never shuts up about it. Now, the demon who said ‘I can see why you keep them there’ might have meant it as a sort of joke or some shit, but Vox would not be pleased. He does not take kindly to people who insult or degrade their partners (ironic, considering Valentino), so someone who’s making that sort of implication about his wife? Death.

He’d sort of chuckle and go ‘excuse me?’, daring the demon to repeat themselves. It’s over for them either way. If the demon backtracks, Vox will very pointedly dedicate the rest of the meeting to bragging about all of Retros other skills, too. He’d try to start by mentioning it off hand, but he’d get so invested in proving a point to the low life that insulted his wife that he’d get carried away. He’d go on and on about how creative and thoughtful Retro is, how nice they are to everyone, including those who work at the company. He would not-so-politely remind everyone that Retro knits sweaters for people at the company picnics, how they always cook at least half the food at the company get together and parties, stuff like that. It’s a stupid move to insult Vox’s wife, but insulting the person who everyone loves just because of how nice and kind they are? That’s ten times dumber.

Valentino would shoot a bitch on sight if they made a comment about Retro in bed. Yes it’s hell, insults and comments like that are to be expected, but he has standards when it comes to Retro. Val is so unbelievably protective of them when they come by the studio, it’s startling. He knows what Vox would do if anything happened, and Val doesn’t want to see Retro in any sort of compromising situation to begin with. He’d do his best to keep everyone in line.

He’d shoot glares and insults at anyone who looks at them the wrong way, anyone who looks at them for too long. Keep in mind, Val is in a wonderful mood whenever Retro visits him at work. They help him with scripting, and he’s always admiring them and gushing over them. He draws little hearts in the margins of his papers and sometimes lets them on set. He’s always nervous about it, but it works out nicely. They usually only help adjust someone’s clothes (with how few they’re wearing, it’s very important), the perspective of cameras, sometimes the hair or makeup (only a little). They know exactly what Val is looking for, and how to get the scene how he wants it. They’re calm and polite and everyone is just so relieved about it. Retro even does their best to make sure the actors are comfortable, the clothes aren’t too tight, the clasps work correctly, things like that. So yeah, if someone makes a comment about them, they’d be lucky to only receive extra hours of work as a punishment.

Velvette? Okay, if Retro was the type to confront people, Vel would record the entire thing. Unfortunately, Retro usually pretends they don’t hear a thing. They’d rather ignore it and keep up the nice and polite house wife routine. They’re probably busy admiring their lovers, anyway. So, instead, Velvette would shoot a model a glare and walk right up to them, demanding they tell her what makes them think they can say such a thing.

Retro gets treated special because Velvette respects them, thinks they’re awesome and adorable and can’t do anything wrong. Mostly. So, the fact that one of her models (people she sees as frequent fuck ups) would try to put themselves on Retros level? The fact that someone would even think they’re anywhere near as good as them, anywhere near as deserving of Velvettes attention and affection as Retro? A ridiculous notion. The model is lucky not to be torn apart by Val. Velvette would go off on the model, listing every single mistake they’ve made in the past hour alone.

The workers at Vee Tower learn not to fuck around when it comes to Retro pretty quick.

[yuurivoice]

Laying in bed having a think.

As I try and tackle three intertwined (four? fuck) narrative stories more meticulously than I've crafted any of my narratives thus far, I find myself making several realizations.

BitterSweet is a product of me being at several mental low points but failing upwards. BitterSweet wasn't even intended to be a real narrative, but rather an introduction to Seth then sort of a choose you own adventure, listen to either "path" type thing. When the story revealed itself to me it was very exciting, but I was just going episode to episode and seeing where I'd end up.

Chapter 2 had more planning, a pretty defined outline, and was executed just about to perfection. I think 2 is probably the strongest in terms of knowing wtf was going on and seeing it through.

Chapter 3 is one I feel deeply conflicted about. Plans had to change on the fly multiple times. The scale got out of hand. I was on the struggle bus and only managed to write an episode two at once. It was a mess. We hit some high marks, and some of my favorite performances are in there, but there's this dark cloud over it for me. It's a shame, but it got done.

I can see really clearly how my struggle with my mental health, ADHD, etc. played significant roles in hindering me. So on one hand, I'm thrilled that I was able to make something cool that so many people appreciate and enjoy despite how challenging it was. On the other hand...there's a lot I wish could have been different.

Those wishes have informed many of the choices I'm making now as I tackle Shattered and Echoes, as well as BitterSweet and the unnamed thing. I'm not hitting the big red launch button until it is complete. I've never done that. But I want my writing to be tighter and more cohesive. I'm lucky that making shit up as I went and hitting the broader strokes I knew were there worked out as well as it did, but also I've tripped over myself a time or two.

As ambitious as I'm trying to be with weaving these stories, I want to make sure that when you step back and look at the big picture, it makes sense, but is also really fucking dope.

That's my hope.

This next batch of work is going to be special for me. I'm in my medicated era, but I'm working with a lot of the bones put in place by a version of me that was operating well below capacity.

Reading those first drafts I wrote last year was humbling. God they were bad. Frustratingly so because when I took a hammer to it, what I cooked up in significantly less time on the second draft was so much better than what felt like I had to pull teeth to accomplish before.

I try and tell myself not to look at all of my work through that lens of "I could have done so much better" but it's frustrating. I've gotta cook with the groceries that version of me brought home lol.

It boils down to this. When these next projects launch and the dust settles, I don't want to be glad it's over. When I finished BS3, I breathed a sigh of relief because it felt like I just got out of a year long brawl.

When I finish these projects, I want to be proud. I think that's the conclusion I reached. I was not proud of my work, because it was tainted with compromise and frustration that outside factors fucked with several aspects of it.

So I'm trying to prove to myself that I can do better than that. For myself. I've shaken off the frustration that I'm an entire year behind schedule. I've committed myself to completing it all before it sees the light of day. I've streamlined the process. I really tried to set myself up for success.

When I was struggling I'd cut every corner, I'd phone it in, I'd toss out ambitious ideas for the sake of just being able to call it done.

There's a lot less of that happening now. I'm able to at least try and hold myself to something resembling a standard. Now I just hope I can execute.

Thanks for reading. Sorry about all of whatever that was.

[yutasbellybuttonpiercing]

Soulmatch™ — App-grade your love life! (final teaser)

pairing: huang renjun x reader

au/genre: smut, humor, fluff, angst, strangers to enemies to lovers...?, non-idol!au

characters: huang renjun, f!reader, best friend!Jaemin, best friend!Haechan, friend!chenle, renjun's parents

word count: 23k+ words

general warnings: mentions of cheating, men being dudes and dudes being bros, lack of communication, haechan is a milf hunter, trust issues, insecurities regarding relationships, hook ups, smoking, alcohol, mentions of vomit (nothing graphic or detailed, literally just the word), emotional manipulation..? past na jaemin x reader, implied past huang renjun x wong yukhei / lucas, toxic masculinity, daddy issues, donghyuck and jaemin talk very vulgarly, mentions of virginity, crying, heartbreak, more tba

smut warnings: ...hate sex...?, unprotected sex (nuh-uh!), fingering and oral (f receiving), face-fucking, switch!renjun, switch!reader (?), pet names, a lot of imagining sex, brief choking, more tba

synopsis: Renjun is a hopeless romantic. His goal is to meet his perfect match by the end of the year, maybe even his soulmate. The perfect solution: an experiment for finding love through an app, Soulmatch™. Renjun doesn't care who it is, as long as they're a perfect match, he thinks. But then you show up...

release date: september 10th 2023 (set an alarm, everyone)

a/n: i really love this so much. it's a bit different from what i usually do bc it has a real storyline! it's complicated (not really). i really poured my heart and soul into this. i love renjun so much. argh!

Taglist: @she-is-dreaming @nctzennikki09 @babyjenono @noonaisreading

open here for a sneak peek:

"A what for what?" Donghyuck asks, mouth as full of burger as Renjun's own, hence why he couldn't understand him the first time. Renjun holds up his hand, chews aggressively, then swallows hard.

"An experiment for finding love," he explains a second time, and the crease in between Donghyuck's eyebrows only seems to be getting deeper with every word that leaves Renjun's lips.

"What the fuck is that?" Donghyuck asks (assumingely, Renjun still can't understand him over the huge bite of patty and bun inside of his mouth).

"You give a whole bunch of information about yourself to the scientists, and they use some software to find your ideal partner," Renjun explains briefly. There's a bit more to it than just that, but he doesn't want to overwhelm Donghyuck's brain while he's eating.

"Pff, okay?" Donghyuck says, a few crumbs of- whatever that had been only mere seconds ago flying out of his mouth and directly onto Renjun's forearm. The older contorts his face in utter disgust, shaking the sticky pieces of food off of his skin.

"You're a pig, Donghyuck," Renjun states, wiping the spot with his napkin because he can still feel Donghyuck's saliva on himself.

"I might be a pig, but at least I got game." Donghyuck finally swallows, grinning proudly with a small piece of lettuce stuck in between his teeth which Renjun has yet to decide telling him about after that insult.

"You don't have 'game'," Renjun spits, fingers motioning quotation marks, "you just have low standards. You'd fuck everything that bends over in front of you."

"That is not true!"

"Need I remind you of what happened with Chenle's mom?"

"She is a milf!" Donghyuck whines, letting his hands weakly fall down onto the table.

"Whatever." Renjun sighs. "Point is: I'm not lacking game, I just want to wait for the right person."

[idv-sunsxin3]

Diggers // Dating Headcanons

Note// I gotta write this since i successfully managed to bring him home;;; 🥺

____

Diggers is canonly a hippie. He is based on them, his voice lines often tell how peace is better than war- I don't have the mind to interpret him with many kinds of hippies stereotypes because I'm still skeptical about some things that I don't even know better- 🤔🫠

There may even be misunderstandings because it actually really happened to the hippies from the 60s sometimes -

Diggers cherishes the times he gets to talk with you, always looking forward to seeing every day and getting to know you...

He is even eager to share his passions while he learns to understand yours as well. He has always been accepting and non-judgmental, ever since you first met. No matter the flaws.

It's probably how he treats everyone because of his moral standards- but it's also more than that... because it's you.

He definitely senses something different about you the moment your fingers touched..

You're his muse, "the sunlight from the mornings, the starlight of the night.... his whole universe." Yes, he said that to you once once--- 😭🫠🥺

But well, he loves showing some of his works of art - well, only the ones he managed to keep. He most likely does graffiti and flower power aesthetics.

Imagine there is a time you two painted a mark of your initials inside a heart with a paint spray on the same bench you both sat in where you first met each other--- it would be fate for sure smh;;;;

Hangouts usually would be staying with him at the back of his van with the doors open, so the windy day can go through. You sometimes lay down on the carpet he places down. You would hear him play his guitar as he sits across from you, serenading you with his slow, soothing tunes.

The sight of the grassfield's landscape can be seen from the van's back seat, along with the small silhouette of London from afar. Once Diggers stops playing, he tends to place his hand on your head and give it headpats... slowly massaging your scalp after as you try to stay awake.

He loves pampering you in his own way, letting you rest with him during lazy days.

He is a sweet, laid-back lover... He trusts you enough that his jealousy levels are low to none just by simply thinking of the many things that can make you feel safe and happy with him- having himself being part of your life is already an honor to him.

But of course, I can imagine he would be like a kicked puppy whenever you ignore him for too long... like not seeing for 3 days can already make him feel droopy;;;

You'll do a lot of outdoor activities with Diggers when dating him-- he would always say things like like "be one with the forest" or "connect with mother nature" while making you these pretty flower crowns to adorn them on your head,,,

Camping in a forest is one of the common things you two do, Diggers knowing lots of things about how to survive in the wild while only having his van as a refuge.

Don't underestimate for his slender figure!!! He can even name you many kinds of herbs, flowers, and berries. Even point out the ones that are venomous or poisonous. He can't do math or this deep insight science, but at least he is knowledgeable in certain fields.

This is just me, but I love a Diggers giving his s/o the passenger princess treatment. No more questions/ih

He talks to you in a very honeyed and flowery voice, you don't even know if he's ever angry at you even while being this upset---(to be true, he never brings himself to be angry at you-- it wouldn't be cool) With how he calls you "Honey", "Baby ", "Love", and so much more, you'll probably need a sleeping bag because man, his voice;;;

He is very affectionate - maybe a bit touchy even. Lots of hugs, kisses, hands on the small of your back, waist, or hip - he always has this tendency of keeping a hand on you when you're around.

If you give him the consent(because consent is beautiful✨️), he doesn't feel embarrassed when pulling you to his lap or holding you so close from behind around anyone.

His holds are meant to be pure and innocent. Having your bodies touch helps him charge his batteries from any stress he ever has to experience in a fast-faced world you both are living in.;;😔

He always likes to carefully plant soft kisses on your forehead, eyelids, cheeks, hands, and shoulder,,, (neck if he really wants to make out with you;;; 👉👈 *gets bonked for not being normal *) Lots of smooching when he finds the lovely opportunity.

He is 100% honest with you, never lies at all. Even would tell you his honest opinions in a sincere, half-hearted manner. Otherwise, it would be against his principles of a peace and love relationship. He wants to love you unconditionally no matter the future struggles that may happen between you two. Always avoiding toxicity and any form of hate towards you.

He loves taking care of his body, eating natural and non-processed food as possible, and going on vegetarian diets. He wants to share his little routines with you, if you want to, of course,,, it is pretty much a way he shows that he enjoys living life with you and taking care of you if you allow him to once in a while. It's like a sign of building trust for him. 🥺

It's so cute when he wants to try and persuade you to try these vivid color clothes with lots of patterns on it, even having these flower matching Keychains.;;

No matter the path you want to go to, he'll always support you and your choices,,, he'll encourage you to do anything your heart desires to achieve, as long as you're true to yourself. 🥺✨️

Overall! He is such a walking green flag. What else can I say to support that? You probably might have more ideas, and the floor is always open for them, my friends 😌✨️💅

[punsmaster69]

22/DEC/20XX

"NOOO!!"

"Who did this."

(they definitely said it as a period.)

frisk's cookie was ruined in red sprinkles. the sprinkle container's lid sat in the middle.

"Really? You know EXACTLY who would do that."

flowey made a very non-discreet leaf-point towards me.

"whaat?"

"i would never."

"can't believe you would even accuse me of such a thing."

"You already ruined one of mine with that, of course it's you!"

going to put sprinkles over my own splotchily iced cookie, it suddenly twinned theirs, but in cyan.

"whoops."

i plucked the lid of the sprinkle container out of the icing and set it aside.

it stuck to the tablecloth.

"What's the matter? Got a taste of your own medicine, trash bag? How's it taste?"

"dunno. haven't tried the cookie yet."

his smug face dropped.

"That's not what I meant, idiot."

"i know."

"Do you?"

"nope."

"Why did you say you did?"

"because i do."

"You JUST said you don't."

"i don't."

"Do you do or do you don't?!"

"what? that's too much doing."

"let's start over."

"Wh- NO! We're not doing that!"

"i know."

"You don't!"

"i do."

"You don't!!"

"Will you two cut that out already?! It's like listening to two parrots!"

for once, flowey agreed with undyne.

——

"SANS. LOOK!"

"wow."

"...is it you?"

"OBVIOUSLY. WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE, WITH SUCH A DASHING RED SCARF?"

"i see it now."

"very cool, bro."

"WHAT DID YOU MAKE?"

"this. my magnum opus."

"THIS IS A BLANK COOKIE."

"two blank cookies."

"STUCK TOGETHER...?"

"sugar cookie sandwich."

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DECORATE THEM, NOT STICK TWO TOGETHER AND CALL IT A DAY!"

"you're right."

"should have been three."

"I'M NOT SAYING TO ADD 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘."

"if i add less, they won't be a sandwich anymore."

"WHY DO YOU WANT THEM TO BE A SANDWICH AT ALL?"

"because i can decorate two for the price of one."

"YOU DIDN'T DECORATE EITHER ONE."

"yeah, it was a steal. decorated zero for the price of two."

"IS THIS ALL YOU'VE DONE??"

"no."

pointing to the cyan mess.

"there's that one."

"DID YOU EVEN ADD ANYTHING TO ONE OF THE GINGERBREAD HOUSES?"

"i added a peppermint."

"𝘈 PEPPERMINT."

"a peppermint and two gumdrops."

"....WELL. IT'S MORE THAN LAST YEAR."

"PROGRESS!"

"Are your standards for what is 'progress' not a bit low..?"

"THEY HAVE TO BE WHEN IT COMES TO HIM."

"you know me; seeing how low the the bar is and still barely tripping on it."

"WHAT DID YOU MAKE, MS. TORIEL?"

"I have been getting this house standing."

"and sneaking the candies."

"Just a few here and there."

"and a cookie."

"I at least frosted mine before eating it, unlike someone."

"wonder who that could be."

"YOU'RE STILL EATING THE COOKIE."

"we'll never know."

——

𝙨𝙡𝙖𝙢.

the table shook as undyne smashed her fist into their gingerbread house.

i hardly saw the finished product before they decided on eating it immediately.

as a result of the table shaking, papyrus sighed as the other toppled over as well.

"At least we were pretty much done."

frisk consoled.

"now you get to eat it."

various pieces of gingerbread were passed around the table, as well as decorated cookies.

——

asgore was here but couldn't stay too much longer, so we packed him a nice to-go bag. papyrus even put a bow on it.

——

considering how long he's been doing food stuff, it should come as no surprise that grillby's decorated cookies are neat and pretty.

he and tori's are both on the same level, really.

flowey tried his best.

so did papyrus.

and anyone who's not the aforementioned same level.

didn't expect frisk to struggle with it so much.

"It's so goopy, dude! How does anyone work with icing??"

——

they stared at the icing tube in their hand.

"just gonna hold onto that all night?"

"....."

"Can I slurp it like a yogurt tube?"

"I've been fighting the urge this whole time."

"let me see."

"paps, are we gonna need these icings again?"

"NO, I BELIEVE THEY WERE JUST FOR TODAY. ANYONE CAN TAKE THEM."

tori was too engaged in conversation with undyne and alphys to be paying attention.

grillby couldn't care less.

he's used to someone downing odd things in his vicinity.

mettaton and napsta wouldn't care even if they were paying attention, either.

"promise to brush your teeth extra good tonight?"

"Yep."

"if you get sick from it, that's on you."

"Yep."

"ok."

"go ahead."

——

flowey poked at them, face-down to the floor in front of the couch.

with a slippered foot, i tapped frisk's side.

"so."

"So?"

"regret?"

"Regret that my body couldn't take it. I don't, otherwise."

"ok. if you do get sick, don't do it on your old lady's carpet here."

"I woon'tt."

doofus.

"think i should try it too?"

"Please do! I'd love to see you drop to the floor exactly like this idiot."

flowey said, also eating straight up icing.

he seems only benefitted from what'd be a unhealthy amount of sugar for anyone else.

"see you on the floor in a few minutes, kid."

——

"YOU DID WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU WHEN YOU'RE TALKING INTO THE CARPET."

"drank icing."

"𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧'𝗦 WHY YOU ASKED ABOUT THE ICING??"

"yep."

"WHY, BROTHER?"

"sounded good."

"FEELS LESS SO, BY THE LOOKS OF IT."

"i'll get over it."

dual sugar overload aside, it's chill down here.

[elephantimprobable]

Chapter 4: Not…unwelcomed

Bibi's wagging her tail as you ring the doorbell. It's your first time at Shohei's house but somehow she just knows Decopin is on the other side.

Bibi is off leash since you know you're going straight into Shohei's house and you're holding a few ingredients Shohei asked you to pick up along the way, as well as 2 desserts from a tiny patisserie you discovered on Instagram a while back.

You hear footsteps come closer to the door and Decopin barking and Shohei shushing him. Bibi whines in anticipation and can't seem to stay still. Her tail is wagging on overdrive.

"Hey!!!" Shohei sounds really enthusiastic lol while opening the door and greets you with a big smile.

"You smell nice." (You are wearing your Chamo perfume you got recently from Tamburins) He reaches for your filt bag you carry your groceries in while giving you a one-handed hug. It still feels like a bear hug since his arms are so big. He's warm.

"You mean I don't always smell nice?" you joke back at him. He throws his head back, laughs, but doesn't reply!!!

Bibi darts inside and Decopin chases after her. They are gnarly when playing together.

"I'm excited to get started. I also brought some treats for us from this Patisserie that specialises in making desserts that look like actual fruit." You're actually really looking forward to indulging in sweets since you follow a pretty low sugar diet usually.

"Oh - what are the flavours?" Shohei asks.

"Tomato and passionfruit!" you exclaim proudly. You're so excited actually for these two.

Shohei scrunches his nose and says, "I'll definitely try passionfruit. Tomato is questionable. I don't like tomatoes."

"You have to at least give tomato a try. I love a tomato as a dessert. Have you ever tried?"

Shohei shakes his head reaches with one arm as you both are walking towards his kitchen and squeezes you again. You laugh.

Looking around, Shohei's house is basic. There's really nothing much; he's kept it probably as standard as possible since he moved in. Typical boy place...but clean (lowkey relieved but to be expected by someone like him).

You ask if you can put the desserts in the fridge and he says yes. He starts to take out the ingredients and lay them out on the island. You check your phone for the recipe and start to help him to measure out the ingredients.

The recipe is more complicated than you imagine and the kitchen gets pretty hectic. You and Shohei still take time to taste the batter and the icing (which tastes amazing) but the inner child in you feels like it's illegal because of all the raw eggs used. He teases you when you share that with him.

Shohei jokingly throws flour in your direction at some point, so by the time the cookies are baked and decorated, you still have some remnants of flour in your hair, on your face.

You continuously feel the melty feeling in your stomach when he laughs at you, when your hands accidentally touch, or when he nudges you randomly when talking. You feel weird because you really, really don't want to have a crush on this person who's become your friend. That would be weird right?

One thing is for certain: your belly is in pain from laughing so much. It's 6:30pm by this point and Shohei suggests eating a few cookies ("since we need to know how it tastes for Lo and Tyler" ) and also agrees to try one bite of the tomato dessert.

He brings a tray over by the living room, and you both get snuggled on his couch.

He starts telling you about his week with rehab and his plans for the next few months to hopefully be fully healed by the offseason for training.

As he's talking, you lean over and grab another cookie but Bibi jumps up and breaks half the cookie out of your hand. You reach over to pick it up without noticing Shohei does so at the same time.

Your heads bump, and you snort cause it's funny. When you look up, you realize that Shohei's face and big smile is really close to your face. You notice his eye crinkle again.

You're staring into each other's eyes for what seems like a really long time (but probably 3 seconds irl), and Shohei reaches to touch your face and you flinch back.

Your heart is pounding. Your face is probably super red (you feel it flushed). What is happening? races through your mind.

"You still have flour on your nose, silly," Shohei says as he flicks flour off your face.

You roll your eyes and giggle. And slightly embarrassed because you really thought something was happening in that moment. You really thought he was going to kiss you for some reason.

"Where's your bathroom? I need to double check there's no more flour on me. This is YOUR fault you know," you grin.

Shohei gets up and teases you about your reaction but takes you to the bathroom.

Shit, you really do have flour everywhere, even your eyelashes still. You laugh because you realize you look so silly.

Shohei is still standing at the doorway of the bathroom and you turn asking, "How could you even keep a straight face this whole time while talking to me? Not nice you let me be like this this entire time!"

Shohei lifts his hands up and looks to the side, feigning a guilty look (but we all know he's not) saying, "Hey - it's a really cute look" and sticks out his tongue.

You lightly push him to get out and finish cleaning off.

You walk outside back towards the living room and see Shohei scrolling through his phone while eating another cookie. You also check your phone and realize it's almost 8 and announce that you guys should start cleaning up.

Shohei gets up and insists you don't have to do anything but obviously you won't leave leaving his house a mess.

After you load the dishwasher after rinsing all the plates/bowls/etc and Shohei cleaned the countertops, he walks you to the front door with Bibi following at your feet.

"Let's get coffee before the hike tomorrow," Shohei suggests,"I'll pick you up at 7."

You say okay and say bye. He opens his arms and engulfs you in one of his signature bear hugs. He's so warm. He's lingering. Why is he lingering?!

You start wriggling and say you have to go now since it's late, looking up at his face.

He's looking down at you now and laughing still keeping you in his embrace when he suddenly leans down and gives you a kiss.

It's quick but not too quick. Your eyes are round from shock. What is happening?

He steps back. "Sorry...I don't know what just got into me." He looks ashamed.

You're still a little surprised. It was unexpected but not unwelcomed. You really tried to ignore this crush that started building for Shohei even from the dinner at Lo's because you really enjoyed this friendship with him.

He was always there to listen to you, to make you laugh, and overall was just fun to spend time together with. He just got you even though you had barely known each other for a month. Plus, Bibi and Decopin were such great playmates for one another.

You take a deep breath in and give a small smile. "I mean, I didn't not like it," you say and blush looking down.

Shohei looks up and gives a little smile also. You walk towards him and hug him again and look up at him, "Let's talk through it tomorrow." He returned your hug and once again engulfed you.

This time, you lean upwards towards him and give him a kiss. Innocent you thought. But then Shohei holds your head and deepens the kiss. He pushes his tongue in your mouth and you welcome it.

Your kiss becomes more and more heated and tongues dragging against each other (desperately...almost). It's a full on make-out session which you hadn't had in a minute.

Shohei starts to slowly lead you both back towards his living room and your body just follows. You're back on his couch as he pulls you on top of him. The passionate kissing continues for a while and you could feel Shohei getting hard against your bum. He moans.

You pull back and you both stare at each other. Breathless from making out. Mind spaced out from the fact that this was actually happening.

You don't know what got into you because again, you wanted to stay friends. You valued the friendship first. You groan and step out of his lap.

"I should get home, especially since we're going to see each other for coffee tomorrow."

Shohei is still a bit breathless, asks, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I am - let's talk about this tomorrow." You give him a little smile again. Both of you feel slightly embarrassed from what just transpired.

How did it go from 0 to 1000?

He walks you out again but this time to your car, holding Bibi.

You both hug and say goodbye. He kisses you on the cheek. You blush.

It's 10pm by the time you finish your nighttime routine. Your phone buzzes.

Shohei: See you tomorrow at 7! I'll pick you up. I'm happy tonight happened.

[pythagoreanwhump]

WIJ Day 6

Hold On

The training officer from WIJ Day 9 last year makes a reappearance! He's still terrible!

Contains: military whump, abuse of power, whumpee forced to hold still for their own pain

Kai was led into the punishment cell with a firm hand on their back, pushing them into the centre and locking the door behind them. It was furnished like all the other rooms specifically set aside for punishing cadets, bare concrete walls and floor with a drain set into it. They were directed to strip their shirt off as soon as they entered, and they folded it neatly, setting it down on the metal table at the side of the room.

Colonel Norsaq pointed to the back wall, where a metal ring hung nailed into the concrete. "Grab that, and hold onto it for your whipping." His voice was flat, bored almost, and Kai hurried to follow the order before he could find another mistake to punish them for.

The metal was cold, but they could feel it starting to warm in their grip already. It was slightly rough, like it was just starting to rust after the top layer had worn off, even if it wasn't visible yet. It was high, still reachable but they had to lift onto the balls of their feet if they wanted to keep a good grip. They quickly glanced around their room, confirming their suspicions. The room was equipped with hooks and eyelets set into the walls in the same places as every standard punishment cell, and the ring replaced one where they usually found themself cuffed to.

"You do remember what you're being punished for, don't you, cadet?" The colonel asked. "No need to repeat it for me, just keep it in mind as I do this. Just like we agreed on earlier, twenty lashes with the standard whip, then twenty more with this—" He grabbed their hair to pull their head to the side, showing them a short whip with many thin tails interwoven with small spikes.

"Yes sir," Kai replied in a low voice, pressing their lips into a thin line and trying not to show any reaction that could be interpreted as a protest. They knew they were just being hurt because this officer wanted to hurt them, and at least he didn't make them have to come up with an excuse for him on the spot. They know what he does by now, always picking on them, assigning them stupid impossible tasks just so he could hurt them for their inevitable failure. He claims that he pushes the best and most promising cadets to help them achieve more, but these people say a lot of things about what they do that shouldn't be believed. And, they were certain that when he told them of their punishment earlier, he hadn't mentioned the second set of twenty lashes with a worse whip.

"No need to count," He casually informed them just before the first line of pain flared across their back. Usually, not having to count out loud and be worried about making a mistake made things easier, but with Colonel Norsaq, they knew that only meant he was going to go over the count, and there was nothing they could say about it without just inviting more punishment. They counted anyway, even if they wouldn't know when it will end. They just hated not knowing exactly how much they have taken.

Holding on was easy for the first thirty or so lashes with the standard whip. They gripped the metal hard, wrapping their fingers around it so their nails pressed into their palms. The cold concrete they rested their forehead on helped make the burning in their back easier to take, and they leaned some of their weight against the wall, making it not too difficult to stay off their heels so their hand wouldn't slip. When the colonel switched to the spiked whip, however, the light but sharp pain kept growing and building, and they squirmed more and more as the count neared twenty but they knew it wouldn't be over yet. Their fingers loosened and tightened around the ring again and again, adjusting their grip every few seconds. Their calves were starting to cramp, and they shifted their weight from one leg to another, hoping to keep it as subtle as possible. Finally, they earned a hard crack of the whip against the back of their wrists, and they held their breath, trying to discern if the itchy feeling travelling down their arm was just a reflex from the pain or blood trailing down. They had let go of the ring with one hand, instead holding onto the wrist of the other that was still on the ring. Apparently that wasn't enough 'holding on' for Norsaq, and he made it known. Kai returned both hands to the ring, knuckles white with how hard they now held it, trying not to twitch or fidget. Maybe they were distracted, but the rhythm of the hits didn't feel quite as constant as when it started, and it was difficult to even focus on the pain. They closed their eyes and hummed, letting their mind latch onto the vibrations between their lips, blocking out the sensations in their hands, letting their muscles keep themselves still without thinking.

When Norsaq finished, he stood back and watched in silence for a few long minutes. Without being given permission to let the ring go, Kai trembled and held their position, too scared to make any sounds, just in case he decided they haven't been punished enough. At least, when he finally left the room, he offhandedly told them they could come down now, and closed the door behind him so they could collapse to their knees in privacy.

[telltalebatman]

“i don’t know how much longer i can keep doing this.” for sorcione!

YESSSSS

"Can I be honest?" he asked her one morning; she spent the night with him, at his place, having lied to her parents about going out with Tonya and Daphne. Thankfully, both of them agreed to cover up for her in case of an emergency; but that was a highly unlikely scenario, considering who their fathers were. Asking her friends to cover up for her so she could spend some time with her secret boyfriend felt childish and immature - but that was what she had to do, even in her early twenties. As long as she lived with her parents, she'd have to lie; she made peace with that a long time ago.

"Mmm?" Frankie muttered, her eyes still closed, her head resting comfortably on Mac's wide chest. His bed - a standard full - was just wide enough for the both of them; and she really, truly, genuinely did not feel like getting up. Sure, she should be getting ready to leave - but truth be told, she still felt a bit worn out from sex. "Shoot."

Initially, he simply sighed, wrapping his arms around her.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this," he said finally, his voice quiet and low; and in response - Frankie sighed as her heart sunk a bit in her chest.

"I know," she replied, her throat dry, her chest tight. "But can't you hold on for just a bit more?" she added; exactly as she did countless times before. What he wanted, she couldn't give him - not yet, at least. She had her own obligations, her own plans. Years before, she promised her best friend to help him pretend he's straight; and she couldn't back out now, not when the date of their wedding had been set, not when don Fortunato was so close to formally welcoming her into the Fortunato famiglia of the Maggia.

"You know I'm trying," he said as she covered his hand with hers. "But it's just... Hard. To only have you from time to time."

He finished his sentence with a kiss placed atop of her head; and Frankie pursed her lips a bit, her stupid, trembling lips. Why? she almost asked him. Man up, Gargan. There's plenty fish in the sea. You'll find a new girlfriend in no time.

(There were times when she wished they could go back to just being fuckbuddies, to not being in love, to wanting to kill him, to hating him. It would make things so much easier for both of them.)

"If it's of any consolation," she said instead, looking up at him. "It fucking sucks on my end too. Also," she added hesitantly, "I won't blame you if you tell me you're out. There will be some hard feelings, but... I'll understand."

"Oh, shut up," he muttered in response, hiding his face in her hair. "Quit tellin' me to break up with ya. It's not gonna happen."

"I know," she murmured out in return, reaching out with her hand and tracing her fingertips along his jawline, his skin warm under her fingertips. "There's no point in telling you to go away. I know. I noticed."

He let out a muffled chuckle.

"I just wish we didn't have to hide," he said with a sigh as he straightened his back. "Okay. That's enough moping for one morning. What do you want for breakfast?" he asked in a lighter, more cheerful tone; and Frankie pursed her lips at this fake happiness in his voice. Ever since she got to know him, it became glaringly obvious to her that Mac was not a good actor; or perhaps she simply was a very demanding spectator, most keen on picking up on each and every hollow note in the melody of his acceptance. He wasn't happy, and she knew it; but neither was she - and he knew it as well.

That morning, they had eggs and bacon for breakfast; as they did many times before, and many times afterwards. She kissed him goodbye, and she slipped out of his place; and that was it. Just another stolen morning; just one day less standing between her and her desired freedom.

[pathsofoak]

I've meddled around with the plot of The Early Rise a little, and currently I've discovered the following:

This thing will be LONG even by my standards. 150K at least and that's just the plot crucial stuff because I'm trying to fit in some more character, right now my bare outline is lacking it.

So far, this one has one of the best hurt/comfort ratios considering the situation everyone is in. I think the only one that passes it is the High Noon.

Thomas finding out Vince, Jorge, and Justin are "dead" (they're not) now happens much earlier, so he's got a little more time to get his legs under him after. This will also make it a little easier on Chuck and Brenda, who can finally share their grief with him (and had been avoiding him both intentionally and unintentionally for a while at that point).

This also gives me more time to fit in the knitted animal foreshadowing, which isn't really that plot relevant I just think it's cute and kind of sweet, and I really do want to emphasize how much 'childhood' these kids missed, and that that does mean something to them. They're also a bit of a hint that while the "Sunshine Project" (it has a cheesy name intentionally, it's a front for the Right Arm to infiltrate WCKD in the name of ethical research, but WCKD keeps it very far away from the actual research. The plushies are the only items they manage to get to the kids at all in the span of a year) can't reach far, they're there to get the big job done (get them out) but also to support them before that happens.

Consequently the reveal that Dijken "did it" still happens in the middle, though now both Newt and Minho get bigger hints that there is more at play, and there is a warning from Dijken's side that WCKD is planning more experiments for everyone that isn't Thomas, and they're holding something back about Brenda and Newt. Thomas goes missing right that evening instead of roughly a week later, the turn in Thomas's choices is much more immediate now, which means the consequences will be too.

Act three will focus much more on everyone's individual low points than the rescue. That makes the last quarter of this story my darkest segment yet, but things only get better after, and no one (but Janson) dies.

At first the idea was to have the kids largely save themselves, with the Right Arm more or less there to pick them up, but with the constant unintentional foreshadowing that people are actually looking out for them, and there are good and safe people and places left for them to hope for, I'm reversing that a bit. It will still be the kids' individual choice to defy WCKD in ways fit to their arcs that is crucial to the success of that rescue, but once they're out of their rooms they're in safe hands, and the focus shifts to the next characters (Thomas and Teresa excluded, everyone is saved in pairs of two, in two part chapters. First come Gally and Chuck, then Minho and Frypan, Brenda and Newt, then Teresa, and Thomas last, together with the way station kids. Though they have more of a background role, Rachel is the only one prominent later on).

Cut for the changes in graphic-ness in this part. Blood is mentioned, nothing more.

I've decided I'll let it get a little more bloody and raw than I previously planned. While a lot of my plot is intense, it's not necessarily very graphic, but since this is meant to be the darkest and hardest point in the story I've decided that I'll allow blood in one specific scene I don't think will have the same effect without it, and a much more intense description of fear with most characters, specifically Chuck (I've been using him sparingly as a POV character during major beats but this is such a crucial point in his arc it really won't work from Gally's POV), but also Frypan and Minho. Gally's low point is also one that'll contain some graphic violence, though it's a hologram he watches, and not a live thing.

[inber]

The Garden Game

A/N: Thank you for the prompt, @witchertrashbag my sweet! 1.5k of Yennskier fluff. No real spoilers, just two idiots who can't figure out an emotion. Enjoy~

There's a lazy haze of incense smoke curling through the air in sandalwood spirals. Yennefer feels as if she remembers the scent from a court she was forced to play nice at, once; it's the smell of decadence, something lavish on the edge of a gentle breeze. Get too close, and it turns acrid.

At least she is comfortable, sprawled on a plush chaise, cushioned by blueberry velvet. Upon glancing down, she notes with distant confusion that she's not wearing her own clothes. Someone else has chosen this for her.

It's not terrible; the gown is black, and the neckline plunges generously down, settling above her navel. The material isn't sheer – not quite – but if she stepped into the brighter light of the parlour, she'd find herself rather exposed. It's a tease of a dress, made altogether more pronounced by a lack of undergarments and a scattering of gold embellishments.

“Ah, there you are.” A familiar voice catches her attention. Jaskier is leaning against the open stone archway, holding two glasses in one hand, stems fitted between his fingers. “You're usually in the gardens.”

“I am?” Yennefer asks. The bard is dressed down, even for his standards. His chemise is left entirely open, revealing a bare densely-haired chest, and his trousers are so low-slung that if he was wearing hose, Yennefer knew she'd be able to see the ribbon ties that he favoured.

“Yes,” Jaskier answers, looking at her indulgently, “that's where we most often play our little game.”

“Our game?”

Jaskier laughs. Yennefer can't help but smile at the sound; rarely does he truly laugh anymore. “Oh, I see you've already started. How can I possibly keep up?”

“I don't understand, Jaskier.” Yennefer shifts from the lounge so she's sitting up. “What game?”

“What game? We've played for years now, dearest one. I ask your name. You give me riddles. And so it goes.”

Yennefer frowns. “You know my name, you simpleton.”

Around her, the building suffers a shiver, as if rocked by a minute earthquake. Dust dislodges from the ceiling. Jaskier doesn't seem to notice, but he does look confused.

“I promise you I do not. I have dedicated much time to trying to learn it, though. Wine?”

Wine. Yennefer blinks heavily, noting a crack in the sandstone of the wall. It suddenly hits her with a force that leaves her breathless; they are not in Kaer Morhen. She does not know where they are, and he does not recognise her.

Have they become trapped inside an illusion? Perhaps a lesson with Cirilla has gone desperately awry. What does Yennefer remember doing before ending up in this place?

“Wine?” Jaskier asks, again. He holds one glass out. It has filled itself with a rich red.

The answer solidifies like a wash of water on snow. They had been drinking, the two of them, in Yennefer's room. Inside Kaer Morhen. Jaskier had discovered a few bottles of very old wine in a forgotten part of the keep. They'd gone deep into their cups, talking into the evening. At some point, they must have both fallen asleep – exhausted and drunk.

It isn't unheard of for mages to walk within dreams, especially when a person is susceptible to having their mind opened. Generally speaking, however, the act is conscious, and with intent. Yennefer does not recall seeking passage into Jaskier's subconscious.

Then again, it isn't as though the two of them have slept together in the same room – certainly not alone. Trust Jaskier to dream so loudly that it would project into her being. Intoxicated as she had been, she'd probably simply tumbled across the borders of their psyches. And now here she is.

Yennefer knows what dreams can be like for humans. Blurry faces, the sense of a person; the recall of old memories, or suggestions. It's possible she can just tell him who she is, but she suspects that such information will simply collapse the dream and wake him up. She's already shaken the foundations of it.

“Thank you.” Yennefer accepts the offering. Jaskier sits on the chaise beside her, not at all timid about adopting a lordly recline as he drinks from his own glass. She sips the liquid. It's not real – she knows that now – but his mind tells her it's delicious and expensive, and so she believes it.

“So, same rules? Three guesses?” Jaskier asks, fingers flirting with the sleeve of her dress. She bats his hand away, and he smirks.

“Same rules.” Yennefer agrees. “Gods, Jaskier, how long have we played this game?”

He taps his chin. “You know, I'm not sure. A while. I think you turned up here... ah, see, that's the trouble! When I try to remember, everything goes all,” Jaskier gestures with one hand, “hazy, you know?”

Sagely, Yennefer nods. She drinks more of the wine.

“That's why I think you must be one of the mages. Someone Geralt knows. He's the only person I know that rubs shoulders with such mysterious folk.”

“Maybe I am.”

“Hah! We'll talk in circles forever, my dear. You never give a direct answer. All I know for sure is that you're utterly exquisite, and I find you in this palace most nights.”

Yennefer feels heat bloom high on her cheekbones. He doesn't know what he's saying. They might not hate each other any longer, but beyond that? It's a ridiculous notion. She refuses to pay it any mind. This is just a dream, and he's just talking nonsense.

“And there you go, getting fuzzier.” Jaskier points out. “You're so shy when I compliment you. I know that too.”

Sharply, she looks at him. Shy? That's what he's gleaned of her? “Am I? Maybe I just think you're wrong.”

The ceiling trembles again. Yennefer looks up. Dreams are fickle things; she doesn't know his rules here, nor his weaknesses. It'd be easy enough to find out, she supposes. But as Jaskier said, it is a game. She isn't about to cheat.

“I'm not wrong.” Jaskier corrects her. “I think... you're Triss.”

Yennefer shakes her head. “I think you've guessed that name before.”

Jaskier utters a small oath, swirling the wine. “So I have. Blast.”

It's not a bad guess, but it's the safest one. Triss is gorgeous, and contrite. Of all the sorceresses Yennefer knows, Triss is probably the most likely to retreat bashfully from Jaskier's advances. But Jaskier hasn't met her beyond Geralt's stories of her.

Still, it's not impossible to fall in love with the idea of a person. That would be like Jaskier, Yennefer thinks. Foolish, foppish poet.

“So. What you think you know of me is that I am shy and exquisite. Your words, not mine.” Yennefer checks the points off on her hand. “Is that all?”

“And difficult. We rarely get to play this game at all, you know. Most of the time you run from me. I chase you, but you always vanish. Which, by the way, is very unfair, being as this is my castle.”

“Shy, exquisite, difficult. Can't be caught. Maybe I'm not worth knowing, Jaskier.”

There's a thunderous crack as the roof suddenly collapses. Yennefer is privy to Jaskier's stare of absolute stupefaction – directed at her, and not at the tumbling masonry – before there's half-a-second of darkness.

-------------------

She doesn't gasp awake, but Jaskier does. Yennefer blinks bleary eyes at the sneaky light of dawn spilling in through her window. Beside her, Jaskier groans, mumbling incoherently.

“Fuck, what was...? Ah, my head.”

“The third bottle was your idea.” Yennefer says, dry voice cracking.

“Sorry, I woke you. And uh, fell asleep in your bed, it would seem.” Jaskier laughs nervously. It sounds strained. “In my defence, this is a very nice mattress.”

“I know.” Yennefer sighs, reaching over to pour them both some water. “Bad dream?”

Jaskier shakes his head. “No. I don't think so. I ah, actually don't really remember much of it. It's funny, I have this reoccurring dream, and I remember bits of—uh, nevermind. It's dull.”

“Go on.” Yennefer says.

“Well, I have a castle. And I have to find something. Or, or someone. I remember some places so vividly! I could tell you what grows in the garden. But I don't remember... why I am there. Who is there.” He shrugs awkwardly, taking the offered water. “Probably means nothing.”

Yennefer thinks about how quickly the castle fell when she suggested he give up his chase. How those simple words destroyed the entire fantasy. She thinks about how he spoke to her with such fondness. How his mouth looked, wine-stained, when he called her exquisite.

How many times has he chased her through the garden?

“No,” Yennefer says, “I think there's meaning in dreams. Even ones we don't understand yet.”

Setting his empty cup down, Jaskier glances side-long at her. “Did you have any dreams?”

Letting the rim disguise her smile, Yennefer drinks deeply of the water. Then she turns to look at him. "I dreamt I was playing a game.”

Something flits across Jaskier's expression for a moment, almost recognition, before it vanishes. “Hmm. Can I stay a few more hours? It's cold.”

She lets her head sink down into her pillow, turning her back on him nonchalantly. “Fine. You stay on your side, though.”

“Ooh, my side. I have a side.”

Yennefer reaches unseeingly behind her in order to shove him weakly. Jaskier lets her, jostling the bed. When he laughs, it sounds like a dream.

[nikikyuuun]

Hey! Hey! I heard you open enstars x reader! May you write about Eichi and a super popular idol? Netural Gender is fine! Remember don't overwork yourself! :D

hello hello!! i'm an absolute SUCKER for idol x idol anon you hit all my weak points... thank you for your kind words!! please do take care of yourself as well ♡ i hope you enjoy!

❧ eichi with a popular idol s/o

content warnings: none

❧ given both of your reputations, eichi would honestly try to keep your relationship on the down low, at least initially. it's not that he's ashamed of you or anything—it's just a matter of personal safety! the last thing he wants is for you to get hurt.

❧ that's a lot easier said than done, though—the media will make a big deal out of anything, and even just walking around tokyo with him has often led to impromptu interviews. what are you two doing out on the town? or what kind of relationship do you two have with each other? the standard prying journalist questions, you know. eichi manages to deflect a lot of them, punctuated with his characteristic polite smiles, but the almost-urgency with which he drags you off—gasp, is he holding your hand?—is a bit of a scandal in itself...

❧ either way, he's very supportive of you! buying copies of all your albums and singles and merch is a no-brainer for him, and he pulls out all the stops when it comes to celebrating your achievements. oh, your new mv is number one on trending? where would you like to have dinner, then? he hears that there's a very nice restaurant that just opened up downtown...

❧ he'd also definitely go to your lives as well, if his schedule permits it! it's honestly rarer to not see him in a front row seat, watching you perform with such adoration... he also always makes a point to meet you backstage afterwards to congratulate you! he's so very proud of you, you see.

❧ eichi absolutely loves when you go to his lives as well! it always gives him a little burst of energy seeing you there in the crowd—and if his stage smile turns a little more genuine, or if there's a little more oomph to his delivery, well... that's for him to know. everyone in fine already knows though.

❧ he doesn't seem like the type to particularly mind if you want to keep your relationship with him private—a good personal-work balance is good, after all—but eichi also doesn't mind at all if you reveal it to the public! when the news drops, you better be prepared for a flood of job and interview requests—you two will be swamped for a while.

❧ he seems lightly amused by it, though~ at least now he can have that official collab between your units that he's been all but dying for. ♡

[clairecrive]

Hello beautiful person! Do you take requests which ask you to write a second chapter for your writings? If you do, may I ask a second chapter for "Rare"? And if you don't could you please let me know so I can be careful for another time when I ask a request?

I hope this is not something that disturbes or irritates you. I love your writing, it is beautiful and sometimes I read your pieces over and over again. 😁

Thanks for blessing us with your writing. Have a nice day.💕

A/n: First of all anon, thank you so very much for your sweet words! They mean the world to me <3 Also, your request could never irritate me! I love them and I love the fact that you consider me half a decent writer enough to send me your thoughts <3 I'm sorry it took me so long to get around this but I hope you like this and are still around to read it x

I've decided to pair it with a request for juicy time with Eddie. there's no actual smut but it's suggestive let's say.

Warnings: bit of angst, fluff,

Word count: 2.4K

Tags: @mollybegger-blog, @evelynshelby, @br0ck-eddie, @fandom--0verdose, @shadow-of-wonder, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @sopxhiea, @fuseburner, @for-bebbanburg, @crazyclownchick ( fill in this form to be added to my taglist)

Part 1

TOM HARDY MASTERLIST

You weren't exactly new to heartbreak. You had been a teenager after all but your experience with adult relationships had not been that good either.

You knew that you'd be over Eddie even if it may take you some time. It's true that you had only been dating for a few months but you had really grown attached to him. It was one of the things you hated about yourself: the way you got attached way too soon, way too much.

Especially, in this case, seeing as Eddie hadn't been 100% in it in the beginning you had hoped that the more time you'd spend together, he'd see that you weren't so bad and that he'd grow to care for you. At least a little bit.

Turns out you were wrong.

As much as you hated being wrong, the thing that hurt you the most was that despite your best efforts, Eddie still didn't think you were enough for him. And how could you be when the benchmark was perfect Anne?

You stood no chance. You had been a fool for even trying. And now you were experiencing the burn for your foolishness.

This had happened often enough that you had developed a routine for dealing with heartbreak:

1) crying your heart out and indulging your sadness with whatever helped (mostly comfort food and Friends)

2) enough with indulging, it was time to pick yourself up. No more overeating although you still allowed yourself to cry if you felt like it

3) "I don't need him anyway" phase where you'd make a mental list of how your life was before and after whoever you had broken up with to remind you that they weren't as important as you made them out to be

4)"put yourself out there again" phase where you started going out again with the intention of meeting new people or simply having a good time.

As of this time, you were in phase 3. You noticed that there were some of Eddie's things littering around your apartment. So, you picked up a box and collected them with the intention of returning them to him, effectively closing this chapter. As you did, you made that aforementioned list. This time, with the added reason for your break up, it was a bit easier to remind you why breaking up had been the right decision.

When your hands closed on your favourite hoodie of his though, you couldn't help the pang in your heart as a flood of memories hit you.

You and Eddie doing a Friends marathon every Friday night.

Eddie giving this hoodie when you were sick because he knew how much you liked it.

Eddie taking the hoodie off for a whole other reason almost ripping it...

No.

Shaking your head, you pushed those thoughts aside, focusing on the task at hand.

Enough of that. It was over.

It was only a week later that you finally got the time to come around Eddie's apartment. Sure, you could have called him, he could have come himself to pick them up or you could have dropped them at his job but that would have required you to call him. And recalling how that went last time you tried to reach him you decided you'd spare yourself the humiliation of him not ghosting you again.

Taking a deep breath, you straightened your shoulders and knocked on his door.

"Y/n." You were met with a dishevelled Eddie.

He looked like shit but what's new with him. He also looked very surprised to see you at his door and you also couldn't blame it for that. You would have reacted the same way if the roles were reversed.

"Hi, Eddie," you hated your treacherous voice that wobbled when you spoke. Clearing your voice, you tried again.

"Sorry to come here unannounced. I've found some of your stuff in my apartment and I thought you'd like to have them back." You explained as you handed him the box, his eyes taking it in for the first time.

"Oh," he paused as he considered your words. Was that disappointment in his voice? "Thank you, y/n. You shouldn't have." He smiled weakly as he took the box from you, your fingers touching briefly.

"It's not a problem, Eddie. I was just passing by anyway." You and Eddie actually lived far from each other. The truth is that there was no reason for you to be in this part of town if it wasn't for him. Eddie knew that but he was kind enough not to point that out.

He just nodded, accepting your words as he held the box close to his chest.

You awkwardly stared at each other for a while, you didn't know what to say but neither of you wanted to end this exchange quite yet. When you felt that you had been standing like a fool in front of your ex's door, you went to leave but Eddie beat you to it.

"So how have you been?" Your first reaction was to scoff at this attempt of small talk. Neither of you was very good at it. And truthfully, it was rich coming from someone who had not made any effort to keep in contact with you even before your breakup.

The scroll of your shoulders was the only answer Eddie got. You weren't in the mood to pretend nor did you want him to know how you were still suffering for him.

"I should ask that to you." You reverted the question to him. He really didn't look well.

"yeah, it's been a rough couple of weeks," he confessed scratching the back of his head.

"That, I don't find it hard to believe," you hummed as your eyes took him in, really took him in since you knocked at his door. You could also see behind him that his apartment was a mess.

"Yeah, don't have to worry about me though. I'm fine."

"Of course." You nodded at his dismissal, remembering harshly the situation you were in."Well, I'm going to go now. Take care." Cold but still polite you turn around, ready to put this -Eddie and this exchange- behind you.

"Y/n, wait!" he called when you were about to climb down the staircase. "Do you want to have a drink or something?" Stay for a while? he meant but didn't dare to say.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Eddie." You called over your shoulder, hand still on the railing.

"Please, I owe you an explanation." You didn't know if it was the desperate note in his voice or the fact that he really looked like shit but you turned around almost convinced.

"Don't you think it's too late for that, Eddie?"

"Maybe it won't change anything between us but you deserve to know." You knew Eddie and you knew how much he cared about transparency and honesty. This may not mean that you were going to get back together but he was right, you deserved an explanation.

"Okay," you agreed as you walked back and then into his apartment. Eddie closed the door behind him and set the box he was still holding down behind the coat hanger.

The sneak peek you had before was definitely right: Eddie's apartment was even messier than usual.

"Why does it look like a tornado hit your home?" You couldnìt help but point out. You knew Eddie wasn't that bothered by tidiness but this too much even by his standards.

"That would be my fault," a new voice answered you.

At first, you didn't register the difference in tone or accent even though you should have had because Eddieìs voice wasnìt that low or raspy. But then a black tendril entered your vision field catching your attention making you turning your head to better inspect it.

What.the.fuck??

"Eddie?" You asked perplexed, eyes fixed on this thing? even if you were addressing Eddie.

"Y/n meet Venom, Venom meet y/n." He gestured awkwardly with his hands.

"It's so nice to meet you, Eddie's always thinking about you, you know? It's a bit annoying." this time the voice didn't come from a tendril but a face. A fucking alien face with long sharp teeth and wide white eyes.

His words went straight over your head. How the fuck was this true? What were you even seeing? Did this thing come from Eddie's body??

"Fuck, I know I'm heartbroken but now I'm even seeing things?"

"Y/n," Eddie tried to get your attention. You thought you had only thought that but apparently, you had spoken the words. "You're not seeing things, this is part of the explanation I owe you."

"I think it's better if you sit," he said motioning to his couch when you did nothing but stare at Venom. Prompting by Eddie though, you sat down and listened as he spoke.

He told you everything. About Carton Drake about his project with aliens, about Venom and their rather troubled relationship. He even explained how Anne had got involved and how she and Danny had helped him.

It was definitely a lot to take in. But somehow, the thought that he could be lying to you never crossed your mind. The proof was right in front of you, wasn't it? Venom, as he had introduced himself, stood next to Eddie while he spoke. It had never spoken again and you were inwardly thankful for that. That he was giving you space to digest all of this.

"Why didn't you tell me when you came around that day, Eddie?" You asked once you thought you had wrapped your head around it.

"I didn't want you to drag you into this mess," he said with a shrug, head cast down he didn't meet your eyes.

You didn't know how you felt about all of this yet but you nodded anyway. Well, there was nothing you could do anymore, could you? He had already taken care of everything on his own and it wasn't like you had any right to worry about him anymore.

"Thank you for explaining, Eddie. I appreciate your honesty." Did this change anything for you?

"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren't enough of if Anne meant more to me than you did. That's not true but I didn't know how to tell you that without telling you what was happening." He nervously fiddled with his fingers without meeting your eyes.

You could see his point now that you knew what happened. Still, it hurt you that he decided to just keep you out of it without a word. He could have at least told you that something was going on, that he didn't or couldn't tell you anything - not right now. You would have understood and given him space. Did he really act like this to keep you safe or was it a way to dismiss you?

"I don't know if this changes things, Eddie. You still turned up to her when a major life-threatening event happened. I think this tells me everything that I need to know." You point out after a while, eyes fixed on the end of your shoes.

"She has been involved from the moment we broke up, Y/n. Hell, this was the reason we broke up in the first place." Eddie's head snapped up at your words. He looked surprised at your words like he couldn't believe that you thought Anne's involvement had been something he had actively sought out.

"That may as well be true, Eddie but still, you didn't tell me even after everything settled down. If I hadn't come around to give you your stuff I still would be none the wiser."

"I was afraid, y/n. How could I come back to you after how much I had hurt you? 'Sorry if I went m.i.a. for a while, I was infected with a parasite who knows permanently with me?' Come on, y/n, I wouldn't take me back either." Now upset, Eddie started to gesticulate frantically to prove his point. His eyes flickered between yours, he leaned toward you, his hands a touch away from yours as if he wanted to touch you but was preventing himself from doing so.

"I'm not saying I would have believed you straight away but still- aliens are way better than self-loathing you know?" You scoff at him- why was he so upset? He wasn't the one who had been beating himself up since that fight for being a worthless piece of shit, was he?

"I know I've never done a good job at showing you but I do care about you. Deeply." Almost as if he couldn't bear to not be touching you any longer, Eddie now reached for your hands. His hold on them tightening as he spoke the words.

You looked at him for a moment. Aside from that fight, your relationship with him had been good. The start wasn't promising, seeing as he was still taken by Anne but Eddie had treated you good. He was attentive and caring in his own way. Looking back to it now, you realized that the period where you started feeling him pulling back from you was the time when this whole alien thing had started.

But now you had settled this, right? So, could this mean...

"If I give you one more chance to show you," you spoke tentatively, enthralled by the twinkle in his eyes, "do you promise me to be fully transparent with me this time around?"

"What? Why would you do that?" He looked shocked but his eyes were hopeful.

"Are you trying to talk me out of it, Eddie?" You challenged him, arching an eyebrow.

"Like hell I am." He scoffed, a smile on his lips. "Nono, of course I do. I swear, y/n. You'll never feel like you don't matter to me again."

"Good." You gave him a small smile at the gobsmacked expression on his face. Oh, Eddie...

He does nothing but stares at you for a while. Like he hadn't seen you in a while and now that you were in front of him, he wanted to commit to his memory every little detail of your face.

"So," you said after a while, "do you plan to stare at me or would you like to get a head start on your promise?" you provoke him with a suggestive tone.

Eddie's mouth fell a little at that, Venom said something to him but you didn't understand him. Shaking his head, Eddie smirks at you.

"I would like nothing more." And with that, Eddie's lips are on yours making up for the lost time.

[xo-cuteplosion-xo]

Never enough |Chuuya comfort x Reader

Angst and fluff time

Never enough |Chuuya comfort x Suicidal depressed Reader|

Warnings- mentions of Self-harm, heavy depression, suicide, lack of love for one's self. -I honestly wrote this as a self-comfort cause I needed something, so it really is triggering-

Word count- 1,700 words (roughly)

Life is a storm, full of calm eyes and rough winds that threaten to knock you over. Within life, there are ups and down; rough and soft moments in the storm. Tears are like rain, drizzling and pouring. There are light cries and heavy cries just like the sky. Happiness, fear, sadness, anger; emotions are weather. There are sunny days; happiness, thunderstorms; fear, rainy days; sadness, hurricanes; anger.

The clouds wept today. Wrapping around the moonlight, it hid the light. Water made heavy clinking noises against metal. The rush of cars swooshed against water as they sped by, the sound of a silent street followed. There were no voices, no couples, no people within eyesight or earshot. Today was a rainy day; a sad day. Tears fell in pattern with the falling water. Crimson dissipated within the water. Flowing down the roof the water washed it away. Clothing stuck, hair fell, eyes continued to look down.

You felt alone, afraid, disgusted, and angry with yourself and others. Your legs dangled off the edge of the roof. Listening to the music of sadness; a rainy night, you hummed. There was nobody else there with you, besides your thoughts you were alone. Though it was no surprise, it happened all the time.

People leave, people move one, people are not permanent. There is death in life; life in death. You pondered the meaning of such similes often. Running arms over your soaked clothes you choked on sobs. Letting out silent cries you shed the pain. Out of alcohol and still sober enough to feel you tossed the empty bottle to the roof entrance. It shattered to hundreds of pieces, adding sound to your cries. This isn't normal; to feel like this. You hated the things you’ve done, the job you could not back out from. You hated the way you looked. It didn’t matter what people said to you about being perfect the way you are. The small voices of people who put you down stood out. The ones that edge this crippling insecurity stuck out the most. They say the smallest flame can do more damage than the largest flame. It makes sense though, a large flame grows from the smallest flame. The large flames that start that size often take a while to do the same damage a building flame has done. Words worked like that; the smaller words that came from those close built into raging flames.

You shouted curses under your breath, looking to your lined arms, you choked back another sob. Why, why did you do these things? They were temporary freedoms from this pain but it never lasted; like drinking. Everybody needs a way to tell these feelings to fuck off, but at points, it doesn't work. Those thoughts cross the mind. The permanent solution to what they call a temporary problem. It isn’t always temporary, sure it goes at times to reveal the sun, but then it returns three-fold. It never leaves forever, they say it gets better, but sometimes it's hard to see that light at the end. Sometimes it's so far away it seems impossible to reach unless somebody else can help.

Everybody says it’s alright to be like this. Yet, they never help, they never offer up their hand to pull you out of the quicksand. They never attempt to push you forward in the tunnel. They stand, and they watch you break, until it’s suddenly benefiting for them to step in. Then, they dare to ask why you’re like this. It’s not a choice, it’s not something that can be so easily controlled. It’s a monster with its talons tearing into you.

So maybe, that’s why you did it. That’s why you inched closer and closer. Maybe that’s why you looked up and shut your eyes. Tapping fingers against the rooftop's edge. Humming tunes to try and steer your thought from doing the last resort. Just before the wrong decision could be made, you were grabbed and pulled back.

You felt so far from the world, nothing was clicking or connecting the dots. A harsh sting to your cheek brought your mind swirling back to the present. Noticing you were paying attention, the dark silhouette of a short male shouted words. “What were you thinking!” he hissed holding your shoulders with a firm grip.

“I… I don't know?” you mumbled feeling the tears swell in your eyes again.

“You don’t know? What the hell, I know we're all a little messed up but you can't…” it fell on him, his voice cutting out as he fell to his knees. His hands slid around you. Firmly holding you, he yanked your soaked body to his. His umbrella only hid your bodies from the wind with his ability. “How long, tell me how long.” his voice was breaking but still stern.

“I don’t know? Weeks, months, maybe years?” you don't move, afraid and cold, you could not meet his eyes. “Why do you care? You’ll just end up the same as everybody else. I’m worthless right? I mean, everybody leaves me alone. I don't fit beauty standards to perfection. Nobody would want me so, why not? Why not take the shortcut to happiness?” you were slapped again. It was light, but it stung enough to snap you from those thoughts again.

“Ya well think about somebody else! I don’t need two suicidal idiots! Having one to worry about is enough! Not that I worry about that mongrel! I do about you though, you’re my drinking partner. You’re the one who managed to get me to open up to being touched! I don’t hug or act... soft with anybody else! You don’t get to take that away! I don’t care what you look like, sound like, fuck, I don’t care about anything but what’s in there. In that fuckin heart! I am not a softy, you know I don’t say shit like this often but… you can’t do that! If you're miserable enough to really be willing to toss it all away, then you should talk to somebody!” his voice was panicked. Yes, he was being selfish. He knew that this wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t a feeling you could so easily overcome. Yet, here he was hoping that you would let him help you.

“I'm sorry! I’m so sorry! I just… I thought… wouldn’t it be better for everybody though? Sure you'd be sad at first but you'd forget about me!” Chuuya shook his head. Meeting your eyes with his clouded ocean ones. Tears fell, almost unnoticeable within the pouring rain.

“No, no I wouldn't! I wouldn't because I love you! I fell in love, I don't know how or when it… it just happened! Isn’t this enough? One person, am I not enough? If I had known I’d have held you to me, given you all the cuddles you ever needed!” he buried his face into the crook of your neck. He didn’t care if you felt the same or not at this point. He just needed to let you know somebody cared for you.

“Chuuya…” a light in the tunnel, it formed inside the tunnel.

It is, as they say, eventually you will meet that light. You will find meaning in your life. Something good will happen, then, all the people who put you here will be nothing but bad memories, and lingering ghosts of the past; You can move on. A light will come to you eventually, no matter how dark it seems, that light will show itself. In a friend, a relative, a job offer, an achievement. Those beads of light spread and eventually, they will pull you out enough to know true happiness.

When Chuuya looked worriedly to you, he was taken aback by your arms tossing around him. Your tears being muffled by his own lips. He kissed back before pulling away. Even if you still felt low you were slightly feeling better. Just knowing there was somebody to hold you like this was enough to curve the thoughts for a while.

He took his jacket and wrapped it around you, lifting you into his arms. He carried you to his penthouse, setting you down on the couch located in his bedroom. He looked around, finding one of his larger hoodies he tossed to you. He started hot chocolate as he waited for you to change. You’d probably be sick tomorrow, given it had been cold and you were drenched.

He carried the mug back to the couch, placing it down, he frowned. Walking to a closet, he pulled a small towel out. Rubbing it against your skull as you sniffled, he sighed. “Do you need anything else?” shaking your head, you grabbed his arm.

“Just… some cuddles?” he nodded holding you close, trying to warm your frigid body up. “Did you mean it? You'd really care if I…”

“Yeah, I did, is there a problem? I know it may not mean much. I know how depression works, at least a little bit. It’s not something that can be easily controlled. I just want you to know that you are perfect to me. If somebody ever tells you otherwise, I'll crush them to a pulp.” cracking a small smile, Chuuya's eyes lit up. “There we go, a small smile is a win. So you like me being all protective? Good, I’m a little territorial.”

Looking at him you nodded. “Yeah… okay.” you still sounded so sad.

“I'm serious! I’d squash even Mori if he insulted you in any way! You’re the most perfect thing I've ever seen and known! You're beautiful outside and inside, people are just jealous of how perfect you are.” he was trying to lift your spirits and it seemed to work a little.

“Can we just stay like this?” Chuuya nodded, letting you lean your head on his shoulder. He didn’t move even as you fell asleep.

[awkwardkindatries]

Kinktober Day 3: Uniform

Have I ever said how much I genuinely love Celebrimbor? best boy.

Celebrimbor/reader

NSFW

Words:2347

Elves in Eregion didn't really have uniforms outside of military forces, they did however, have a standard of dress for their meetings in court. This dress code typically consists of a high collar shirt, a button down tunic, full length trousers followed by high polished black boots. One's hair must always be done and braided back and most jewelry is kept to the minimum at a circlet and possibly a ring. All fabrics are embellished in elaborate embroidery and buttons polished to a lovely shine, not a hair or stitch to be out of place.

These court sessions aren't exactly frequent so within your time there you hadn't had the pleasure of catching him in his authoritative garb until today. You caught sight of him walking back to his quarters, his shoulders weren't square they were dropped in exhaustion, his eyes were tired and his brow furrowed in stress. You couldn't help but to follow him a few paces as he walked past you before grabbing ahold of his cuff, softly calling his name.

He whips around to stare at you allowing you to take full advantage of your close proximity. He's tall and broad as he towers above you, his clothing makes him look sharp and important, as if he could command a room of people and they listen without hesitation.

In contrast, his disposition was soft, worn down by politics and stress bearing down on him with the weight of Arda. Though you couldn't relieve him fully of this weight you could at least make the load seem lighter.

You offer him company on the rest of the walk back to his chambers, the halls oddly empty as the hour was not yet late. You suppose this was for the better as the added traffic would only have exasperated his condition. Chatter was relatively light between the two of you, and though you two had grown close you didn't want to wear him down further with topics of importance.

When you had made it to his door, he hesitated frna moment before allowing you to follow him into his room. It wasn't something new to you however, it was deemed inappropriate by the court for an unmarried individual such as yourself to follow a member of said court into privacy, let alone while he was still in his professional attire. He opens the door and before you enter you glance to both sides once more and follow him on, lightly shifting the door behind you. You turn in search of him and find that he has fallen backward in a large splayed-out lump on top of his bed, legs draped over the side and head inches from the wall.

His arms rest bent over his head, hands atop his eyes as he lets out a deep sigh, letting the stress of the day leave his body as well as he could on his own. You couldn't help the light snort that left you as you took him in, yes he was tired, stressed, more than likely overworked but he was an up and coming leader and you understand that there's an adjustment period to these things that your partner might still be adjusting to.

While he mulls about with his head in his hands and thoughts elsewhere you take the moment to look around his room. It's neat, like normal but there are still things out of place that feel like disarray in the normally spotless, “not a hair out of order” Feanorians room. Books are pulled from their spots and left about on the table in the center of the room, discarded after reading. A half-empty cup of tea remains beside it. The towel he had used earlier in the day has not made its way back to the bathing chamber and sits in a little pool on the floor at his footboard. And lastly, the circlet he had been wearing earlier now rested on the floor, more than likely having been aimed for the table and not bothering to pick it up after hearing it drop to the carpet below. Odd, it was his fathers. He only ever wore it for formal occasions and typically treated it with more care.

You make your way in front of him before bending down to pluck it from the carpet, setting it in its intended place. Once finished, you turn to him.

His arms and hands slide from his face before his eyes reopen and he stares you down.

“Thank you, though you could have left it. I'd have gotten it eventually.”

You give a kind smile in return

“I couldn't possibly leave something so important to you.”

The smile he gives in return is tired and barrel there but it exists and you cherish every moment. Reaching out your hand you offer help, and say “if we hurry then we might still be able to catch supper, I heard they're serving stew tonight.”

It is his favorite after all.

He grabs your hand and attempts to stand before his knees give a weak wobble and he plummets back to the mattress. His body was obviously much closer to shutting down than the two of you had originally suspected.

He drags you down with him as he reconnects with the bed, you landing on top of his broad chest, subconsciously to the expensive fabric beneath your fingers, eyes shutting in anticipation of impact.

When it comes, the impact isn't too bad. The Ellon beneath you is as firm and solid as a wall below, opening your eyes you look up into his and you're surprised. His face is flushed a soft pink as he stares down at you, mouth suddenly filled with cotton neither really capable of speech. You're just about to get up and awkwardly excuse yourself to the hallway in order to take your embarrassment elsewhere when you feel it.

You're resting on something that grows hard against your stomach and as a result, are probably much redder than you were a few seconds prior. Since your eye contact stopped the next few moments would almost be comical as he realized the very moment you figured this situation out. You in turn realize you'd been found out and look away is embarrassment, not entirely sure what your next move should be.

He sits up, slightly shaking as anxiety begins to rack his body.

“I-im so sorry!” he quick to apologize

As you still rest in his lap, fingers tightly holding his velvet tunic you begin to consider a few things. How tired he has been lately, his body probably reacting in many ways due to this. How hard he has been working to do better for the people, his constant commute back and forth from the dwarvish colonies to improve relations, how on top of all of his duties he still manages to do the bare minimum to take care of himself and still sacrificing what little personal time he had for you.

You wonder when he gets time for care, he spends so much of his time caring for others, he does he receive any back.

Perhaps you could do this for him.

Taking the chance, you brace yourself against him and push back, grinding against him. His hands shoot to your hips holding you fast, looking all the more like a deer in sight.

“What are you doing?” he asks

You clear your throat and attempt the best steady voice that you're capable of at the moment.

“ Could I- if it's okay, uh. Help with that?” you ask, gesturing slightly down with your head.

You broke him, you're convinced of it, he hasn't blinked or moved in possibly a whole minute and at this point you're certain that you've just embarrassed yourself enough for the rest of your lifetime, you've ruined all of the time you put into forming this bond with Celebrimbor. You make to get off but his grip on your hips holds firm and he speaks, it's low and soft, barely there at all.

“I couldn't possibly ask..”

Immediately you perk up and backtrack your last thought process.

“You aren't!” you insist “I'm offering, I’d really like to help”.

Another moment passes and he nods in approval turning his head away, possibly embarrassed himself “Alright, if you so wish it..”

After receiving his permission you suddenly feel much more authoritative as you have this powerful looking Ellon below you, wanting your touch.your hands glide up from the fabric of his tunic to his neck stopping at his jaws, forcing his face in your direction his eyes meet yours.

“Can I kiss you?”

The question is simple but his reaction is almost like it was more intimate a request than touching anything below the belt. The answer isn’t as firm as the last one but he consents. Leaning in you apply soft pressure taking your time to make this count, to make him feel loved, appreciated. This cycle repeats until you slide your tongue along the seam of his mouth, asking for further permission. He shakes a tad but relents and squeezes your hips harder as you suck his tongue into your mouth and give a firm suck, the grunt that leaves him is intoxicating. Pulling away he already looks slightly out of breath and frankly you’re impressed with yourself.

You gently pull his fingers away from your body and move to kneel on the floor in front of him.

His hands now clench onto the fabric of his bedsheets as you take your time dragging up and down the sides of his thighs hoping to bring him more comfort. With a little more confidence your fingers trail over the fabric above his crotch, receiving a sharp inhale in return. Moving to the laces, unlacing them is quick then you make for the hem of his trousers. Looking up, he then understands and lifts up his waist allowing you to pull them further down to his thighs.

He's full and standing at attention, you glance up to him and you don't think you've ever seen his face any redder as he bites his lip in anticipation.

Taking him in hand you give a light kiss to the underside, his head falling back as a gasp leaves him. Continuing to watch his face, you grasped him tighter and began to stroke him up and down, a shudder leaving him at the motion.

In no time you've collected a fair amount of saliva and put it to use, giving a firm lick to the length of him. His breath chokes up for a second as he experiences this for the first Time. You repeat this a few times before taking a breath and wrapping your lips around his head. You hear the sheets stretch on either side of you as you work. Sucking in your cheeks as tightly as you could you swirl your tongue around the head, every so often flicking against the slit across the top.

Now that his noises have worked up to breathy sighs you take this as a sign to kick it up a notch. Bracing your hands on either thigh you push yourself up a little to give yourself a better angle. Tightening your hold on the bottom of his cock you took as much of him in your mouth as you could, barely making it to the top of your hand. Continuing your work and pace with determination you had barely noticed his hips following your pace chasing after the heat of your mouth.

His head is still tossed back as he breathes deeply occasionally gifting you with a groan and now you've given yourself a new goal. You want to make a mess of this man.

Removing your hand from his base you take a much deeper breath and begin to bob your hands as shallowly swallowing with every other bob. His hands shoot to your hair as a moan forces its way out of his throat. You have to try your hardest not to gag as tears prick your eyes and your jaw begins to ache at the size of your task. But you can do better, grinding the head of his cock against the back of your throat you begin to hum, alternating between bobbing and grinding your head in his lap occasionally scraping the tip of your nose against his pelvis.

You can feel his hands trembling in your hair as he doubles over above you, groans and moans trickling freely from his throat as he tries to contain himself from thrusting into your mouth and causing you harm. His feet can't seem to keep still as they slide against the floorboards below and his toes curl tightly under the polished black of his formal boots. The heat in his gut begins to bubble, ready to boil over as he gives a weak effort to warn you of his untimely end

“D-darling I *groan* I don't have much l-longer..”

Doubling down your efforts, you're determined to make his world crumble around him in rapture. Mere moments pass and relief washes over you and your jaw as his body locks, keeping your lips pressed firmly against his pelvis as he throbs out his finish down the length of your throat, a deep moan choking it's way from his depths .

Letting out a shuddered breath he lets go of your body before dropping back to his sheet, trying his damndest to regain his breath. His body feels like jelly and his head empty of all of his previous troubles as he basks in his euphoric high.

Pulling yourself from him you lick your lips in satisfaction as your loved one pants across from you. You make to grab his trousers hoping to help remake his decent before his hands gently cradle and hold onto yours. Sitting up a soft blush has resurfaced to his skin and he looks deeply into your eyes, you can't help but to feel warm as your arousal shoots back up.

“So then is it my turn?”

[leviiattacks]

Two Faced | Chapter Ten

↳ levi ackerman, the very person who was about to kindly behead you by a surprising turn of events manages to become your loving husband? you would be elated if this was true love, but it’s all thanks to a mysterious magic spell that your life is spared, for now at least.

pairing :: duke!levi x duchess!reader genre :: royal au ??? (at this point idek) angst, fluff, slice of life etc ?? word count :: 4k author note :: haha.... wowww it's been long since i last updated. honestly my physical and mental health have just been horrible... that's about it, i lost a lot of motivation but if you're still reading i am very thankful and i will try to deliver the story well. i tried my best but writing whilst sick is very tiresome :-) tags :: @patience-is-here​ , @chwlogy​ , @a--nonymousse​ , @imkumichan​ 

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Keeping yourself cooped up within Levi's estate and never daring to step a foot outside should have been what you had done. Blackmailing him to keep you confined within the walls of your bedroom would be much better compared to the problem you have to resolve now. Perhaps if you had done so you wouldn't have collided face first into this muddle.

Jean fiddles with the ends of his button up, he doesn't take the chance to glance up at any of his superiors. He's either much too embarrassed or has nothing noteworthy to start off with.

Erwin chooses to call the shots seeing as neither you or the Viscount by your side wish to begin.

"You both understand why we're here. Correct me if I'm wrong?" The Commander looks between you, Jean and your unfortunate excuse of a husband. Suddenly it looks as if the gears and cogs in Jean's brain move without warning.

Offering a demure nod you expect for him to follow in your footsteps and do the same only he stands there looking between you and Levi.

"Wait...The two of you are? A couple?" Stunned isn't the word, Jean's completely flabbergasted.

"If you figured that out this late, I do not understand why Erwin sees you remotely fit for my team." Levi's beyond insulted at the fact he's only just understood the situation.

Jean, now more intimidated than ever before straightens his back and coughs clumsily, "Sorry." He murmurs chestnut eyes making contact with the hardwood floors.

The Commander's laced hands sit atop his desk, elegant fingers moving similar to honey on a spoon. He sighs not out of fatigue but pride. Whatever plan he's come up with has to be decent at the very least, his body language is telling you that much.

"We have a number of possibilities we can choose from. We owe that pleasure to Mr Kirstein here." Erwin offers him an almost cynical smile, you can't help but gulp thinking about how this is essentially your fault. With all the constant training sessions and team building tasks it makes sense for Jean to have completely forgot about your unspoken rule. Solely blaming him is incorrect.

Raising your arm above your head to intervene you make it known that you're aware of Levi shooting you a look of warning by returning it. It's best he knows you don't care for anyone's opinion let alone his.

"Permission to speak Commander?"

Your request is agreed to immediately with the wave of  Erwin's hand.

"It's my fault for not reminding Jean. I'll take the blame, I hadn't even told him the full story concerning me and Levi."

Levi doesn't enjoy your defense in the slightest. "I don't expect my wife to fling herself at other men and allow for them to snoop around gathering the details of our personal lives."

Scoffing you shield yourself with your arms over your chest.

"Oh dear husband. If you want to get personal do tell me where my family is?" It's an inside joke only Levi will be able to understand.

"If you call those people family your standards are disgustingly low."

"Maybe that explains why I settled for you."

Again, other's opinions are not at the forefront of your priority list. Regardless it's quite enjoyable pushing Levi further into a corner with that sentence. You see the internal struggle play out within him. Jaw clenched, hands balled together. He doesn't have an appropriate response

Jean bursts out unable to hold it in any longer, chest trembling with every quake of laughter that ripples through him you have to shove him with your elbow. For a Viscount his etiquette sure is nonexistent.

"My word, the two of you sound like..."

Levi stares at him most probably expecting something along the lines of "An old married couple."

But, no. It's nothing anyone in the room expects. That includes you.

"It's as if you're unhappy with each other..."

Not a noise is made after that. Jean isn't mistaken, your heart is miserable. You've never had many relationships to begin with, whether it be familial, romantic or platonic and for someone such as your husband to treat you the way he does - it feels futile having to navigate around the complexities. Even if he isn't really your husband it's disappointing to reflect on your marriage so suddenly.

Feeling your face droop a little you bite your bottom lip with your teeth. Hearing the truth from someone you barely expect to hear it from has an effect on you.

You're so caught up analyzing everything it takes you a minute to even register Levi grumbling and lunging forward pilfering the collar of Jean's shirt.

"Every day you prove to be more and more pathetic than I expect." Levi turns to look at you after that. His stare bores into you but he doesn't come off threatening, you assume his last remark is directed solely at Jean.

When he turns back only glaring at Jean now with even more tenacity than before. He's ready to snap but Erwin has clearly had enough of the unwanted altercation in his office.

"Enough. The both of you. This is most bothersome." At the Commander's orders Levi is silenced although it takes all of his resolve to do so.

Finally bothering you take a good look at Jean. He's calm in an incredibly out of character way.

Is this not the man who trembled in his boots the first time he and Levi came into contact? It's almost as if he seems pleased with himself for drawing out such a reaction from his Captain.

Erwin shuffles through stacks of paperwork on his desk. The man needs an assistant at this point. You doubt you could find anything in that haphazard pile. Edges of crumpled paper poke out uncomfortably and Erwin becomes increasingly annoyed when he can't locate what it is he's looking for.

Just as you're about to ask if he requires any assistance it seems he's found what he's been looking for, that's if his eyes are any indication of the relief he feels.

"This." He holds up the paper, all eyes in the room are trained on it. "Under normal circumstances would not have to become an option."

"But these aren't normal circumstances?" Jean's thoughtless question is irksome when the answer is so obviously staring him down in the face.

Nonetheless Erwin nods incapable of losing his cool over something so minor.

"Sign to confirm to my proposition."

The document he places onto the desk isn't what you imagine, you can practically feel the dread climb up your throat once you're done scanning it. Jean's full name placed right next to yours in bold lettering has your stomach lurching. You don't have to read the rest to understand the new circumstances you've landed into.

To make matters worse Erwin places two rings down right in front of the both of you.

A pot of boiling hot water is what you've been thrown in.

Are you supposed to be some sort of replacement for potatoes? What's Jean in this scenario? Carrots?

"It is troublesome to have the two of you put on an act to be involved with one another but I see it as our safest option." Erwin notices your parted lips and slacked jaw. "You need not worry this isn't a marriage contract, you're simply acting."

There's no path out of this pot, you and Jean will simply have to deal with the prospect of being boiled alive.

Ah, you forgot to mention who would act as the hot water but you're sure the suspect is obvious.

Even right now Levi's fury radiates off of him, it's unclear if he was given the details of the Commander's plan beforehand but if his furrowed brow and pursed lips are indicators of the truth he must have had no idea.

Your suspicions are confirmed to be correct once Levi reaches forward plucking the paper away, it just so happens he's snatched it away the very moment Jean leans in to get a closer look at it.

"I was never informed of this."

Erwin gives him a guarded smile. "Do you have any jurisdiction over what I think is best?" Is his freezing reply.

"Yes. When it concerns my wife and another man - Correction. I meant boy."

Jean's taken aback by the subtle jab and shamefacedly shoves his hands into his pockets.

You watch the scene go down with a perplexed look the entire time. Levi's frustration seems to be legitimate yet he has no logical reason for it to ever be present in the first place. Unless he has a plan which outperforms the one you've just been given he's doing this all for nothing.

"I assure you your wife is in safe hands so long as you stop interfering."

Levi's about to bark back until he catches your confusion. He's become aware of your tilted head and telling expression and only then does he silence himself permanently not before sighing deeply, muttering an expletive under his breath.

 "I’ll sign it.” That seems to be Jean’s indirect way of asking what your choice will be.

“I... will too.” Is your hesitant reply.

Levi only becomes avoidant after that. Half way through Erwin explaining how you and Jean have to look believable Levi just ups and leaves without a word. Perhaps you've hurt his pride but for what he's done to you it's a small price to pay and so you do nothing to make amends. He has no reason to feel uncomfortable, you aren't really his wife, you're essentially strangers. Does he even know your favourite colour? Your favourite food? Your favourite pastime?  

You doubt he does.

Jean and you are rather successful with your act. It feels pleasant having him brush your hair out of your face occasionally or lovingly place a hand on your forehead to check if you've come down with a fever. He laces his fingers with yours when others are around and when they aren't he lets the act go. It's satisfying having a cooperative partner.

Naturally Jean is still a tease, even now he makes the odd suggestive comment or two in passing but you can't say you hate it. In fact it excites you to think of a response that borders the edge of teasing and simple fun between friends.

The increasing openness between the two of you is enough for the cadets to deduce that he's most probably the noble man you wed in secrecy.

It's only been a few days since yours and Jean's newfound behaviour, thankfully you haven't been flooded with questions just yet. The higher ups sit nearby during breakfast, lunch and dinner keeping watch over the cadets. It leaves you able to eat and drink without having to handle the constant inquiring of your comrades.

However, you aren't as lucky today. A meeting's taking place and after yours and Jean's convincing act Erwin deems it safe enough to leave you unattended for a short while.

Of course it doesn't go according to plan because when you're involved when does anything ever go according to plan?

The cadets are flocked around your table at dinner as soon as they notice they've been left to their own devices. The opportunity to sit down without everyone invading your space is barely provided to you. Krista is sat to your right leaning into you rather animatedly, Annie has made herself at home sat across you which in itself is completely out of character and slightly unnerving, Annie never and you repeat never concerns herself with you.

"Why did you and Jean hide it?" Armin hovers over your shoulder as per usual. He can't be blamed for naturally being inquisitive and it does give you the opportunity to lay out the foundations of your plan. Now's your time to muster up one of your rehearsed responses.

"It would interfere with work." You respond immediately wanting to appear natural. Pondering on an answer for too long would raise suspicions.

Armin makes a sound of approval and shuffles into the seat next to Krista, that is until Ymir can be overheard telling him to move if he knows what's best for him.

"I have a question." Says a voice across the table, you don't have to look at the blonde parallel to you to know it's her.

For once Annie’s initiated a conversation with you, she’s not particularly great at keeping her intentions discreet. Maybe she doesn’t care if you can tell what she’s up to? But if that’s the case her plan isn’t all that foolproof, there's no way you're to let any details slip away.

Sharply inhaling waiting for what it is she has to say you find that her sentence never comes. Instead she shakes her head and murmurs a "Never mind.". You don't even have the time to ask her to stick around, she's already rose from her seat taking her unfinished plate of food with her, you let her go assuming she feels unwell.

"So how'd you two meet? Jean already told me earlier but I'd like to hear your side." Reiner's taken Annie's empty seat and his gaze is unwavering. The trap they've set up is a clever one. Surveying the hall for Bertholdt you know he has to be observing too. The two never operate alone.

You suddenly hate Reiner. For whatever reason he and his trio are endlessly obsessed with you, they've caught onto something that's for sure but you don't know what it is and now they've completely ensnared you with a backhanded trick. There's no way out of this, you have no idea what it is Jean said to Reiner, the chances of you providing the exact same answer are slim to none.

"My memory is really fuzzy, I don't think Jean gave off much of a first impression so I've forgot." Your horrible excuse doesn't fly by, everyone simultaneously narrows their eyes in disbelief. What you've said isn't convincing at all.

Husband and Wife yet you've forgot how the two of you met?

Fidgeting with the ring adorning your finger the cool metal isn't doing a great job at alleviating the pressure of the situation.

"Jean said the two of you hit it off almost instantly. Who's being dishonest?"

Reiner's either lying to catch you out or he's saying the God honest truth and right now all you can do is hope and pray for a miracle to sweep you off your feet. Mikasa and Jean still aren't within view. At this point you're hoping for Levi to save you, it doesn't matter how so long as you escape unscathed.

"Hey, I think we're just making her anxious with all the questions." Armin is quick to side with you, deep down you know he only does so due to the respect he holds for his Commander. You thank the Heaven's for Erwin's admirable smile and commendable leadership, it seems to be the only reason Armin believes you and Jean.

"Or she's lying." Reiner's resting his head in one of his palms, he's still boring holes right into your frame.

Your eye twitches, this is all unnecessary and uncalled for, whatever it is Reiner wants out of you it better be worthwhile.

He still eggs you on. "You walked out of the Captain's quarters. I saw you."

Standing up and leaning forward you plant your feet to the ground as firmly as you can you.

"And if she did what's it to you?"

Fighting the urge to sigh in relief you've never been happier to hear Jean's voice but something's off. His breathing sounds heavy - like he fought his way to get inside. Turning only then do you notice Mikasa standing by him. She looks equally as exhausted. There's been some sort of a struggle.

"You think it was funny getting Annie to guard the door?" He heaves and runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

"And you think hiding secrets from the rest of us is any better?" Reiner's adamant there's information that the both of you are hiding, he's not wrong but that doesn't change that he's challenging you unprovoked without a reasonable motive.

"We're hiding nothing." Unlike you Jean is sure of his words, he's confident speaking up and he seems to be able to pull off the role of a protective husband perfectly.

“I came out of the Captain’s quarters because he had access to hot water. He said I could use his shower. That’s all it was.”

Reiner quirks an eyebrow upwards and is pleased with your answer. God you’ve said something incriminating haven’t you? It's not incriminating per se but it's without doubt malleable and easy to twist.

“Jean, you were okay with your wife doing that at the dead of night?” Reiner's still leading the interrogation.

“I was the one who suggested it.”

“I don’t believe you’re a couple." If it were Reiner who said that you wouldn't care much, after all it's pretty clear he never believed it but to your displeasure it isn't him who's spoken. Ymir's lopsided grin is all knowing and you're beginning to lose your footing in this argument any second now if any more people start to side against you.

If Ymir disagrees that almost certainly means Krista has her qualms about you too, you've observed beforehand that Ymir tends to speak for Krista on occasion. This happens to be one of those times.

Krista timidly raises her hand and Ymir gives her an approving nod encouraging her to speak.

"I don't like the conflict going on but it is suspicious..."

"Why have I only ever seen you two hold hands?" She asks.

Ymir slings her arm over Krista's shoulder affectionately. "Yeah, I tell Krista I'll marry her every day of the week."

Mikasa mumbles something unintelligible, Ymir gives her a look of warning but Mikasa doesn't seem to care. Instead she repeats what she has to say loud and clear.

"Stick to only speaking when Krista is involved."

Krista holds Ymir by her arm so she doesn't get up, she knows how she gets when she's been provoked. Even if Krista has her suspicions it isn't worth Ymir gaining a permanent penalty point on her record.

Thankfully Armin cuts in. "There's no solid evidence to show they're lying and even if they are the Commander's most probably told them to. Don't you think there's a reason? Leave it be if that's the case. I trust him with our lives."

"We have a right to know." Annie's returned and insists to keep this back and forth going.

Just as you're about to fire back Jean takes a hold of your waist, you look down and seeing his large hands planted securely around your frame has your stomach bubbling with anticipation.

"What are you— "

And then he kisses you, he doesn't ask and instinctively your arms move to whack his chest but you stop yourself in time. You realize it's for the sake of your plan not falling through and so you gently place your hands on his shoulders attempting to ground yourself. It becomes increasingly difficult when you sink deeper into the kiss than you'd like to admit. Blood rushes to the tips of your ears and the thumping of your heartbeat makes it difficult to articulate any thoughts, all you really know is that you like this, whatever this is.

Jean's hands don't feel like they were made to rest against your back, they feel slightly out of place as if he's a key and you're an unmatched lock. In spite of that the circles he comfortingly rubs into the sides of your waist are appreciated, you almost forget you're in a room full of people until you're flooded by cold air.

You've been dragged off of Jean and something in the pit of your stomach has you wishing Levi isn't responsible for the interruption.

To your relief it's just Hange, they're glowing in mischief, the grin on their face shows they aren't mad. They might even find this entertaining.

"Well I be damned... maybe they weren't bluffing?" Connie's been persuaded by the looks of it and Krista's busy whispering to Ymir, you hear the faint sound of the word "Romantic" escape her lips, she's equally as convinced as Connie.

Hange smacks your back light-heartedly and looks to the door for a second. "We leave ya' both for a while and you decide to give everyone a show?"

Erwin's stood by the doorway with a humorous smile playing at his lips, Levi however is anything but amused, he glares at you with murderous eyes, he looks like he's ready to end your life then and there but you know he won't dare do so and for a second you feel braver than you ever have before. Without much thought you grab onto Jean's forearm.

"Me and my husband will get going now!" You allow your gaze to loiter when you get to Reiner. He grunts an apology and you're oh so tempted to ask him to repeat himself but you'd rather not instigate anything.

With that said and done you and Jean leave after giving the performance of your lives.

Slowly but gradually the sky outside becomes dark.

The will to sleep left your body long ago. It's by pure luck that you even manage to catch three hours of rest. Training is the only available distraction and dying out in battle isn't favourable by any means, your boredom may as well be used resourcefully - Strapping yourself up in your ODM gear is the best option.

A quarter way through your warm up you can sense a presence behind you, the leaves rustle and the wind feels noticeably quieter. You'd bother to turn around to see who's intruded but Levi's snuck close enough for you to be able to smell his perfume from where you're stood.

"Feel disrespected? Embarrassed even?" You jab at him knowing it'll rile him up, you don't face him not wanting to give him the pleasure of seeing your face.

"Watch your mouth." he warns sharply.

Rolling your eyes you go about your business, it stays that way for a few minutes. All the while Levi stares at you darting from tree to tree, his scrutinizing gaze scalding you repeatedly.

"Y/N!" He yells at the top of his lungs.

For some unknown reason you automatically stop and lower yourself to the ground

"I have something to tell you." Comes his tense follow up. A finger of his latches onto one of the leather straps on your back.

You can't believe he's still denying the undeniable.

"You can wait till tomorrow. I'll be going to bed."

Levi doesn't seem to care for your cold response and proceeds with no warning.

"I'm jealous." His voice shakes. The grip he has on your harness doesn't let up. With your back turned to him you're still somehow able to detect the very obvious crack of pain.

Levi, jealous?

Gritting your teeth together you feel deceived.

How much longer will you have to tolerate Levi's push and pull?

“May I ask, what he is to you, my love?”

Your breathing grows heavy, tensing up you're completely shocked by the term of endearment that falls from his lips. You haven't heard it for so long, Levi sounds eerily different.

You hate to admit it but a flicker of foolish hope lights in your chest.

"Levi why would you ask— "

"Why don't you call me Lev anymore?" He whispers sounding strangled. You can't take it anymore and hesitantly look his way.

His eyes are filled with tears "I'm sorry my love, I don't know what went wrong." you falter for a second not knowing what to think.

At that moment the flicker becomes a flame.

The man who stands right before you is meant to be dead, never to be seen again. By all accounts this should be impossible, but Lev has always been a fighter.

Bitterness stings your heart, the wounds you've collected are still fresh but despite your body's protests you don't flinch when he gently takes a hold of your wrist, bringing it closer to his mouth.

"Lev...? Is that really you...?" You ask desperately.

The warm kiss he presses against your pulse point provides you with the answer you've been longing for.