#I haven’t caught up so if that’s already happened lemme know lmao

[leviiackrman]

“What if he stares at you every time you look away?”

[TEMPLATE] || [MORE EDITS

tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @marivenah @bbrocklesnar @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @jacobseed @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @rosenfey @queennymeria @shadowglens @nokstella @imogenkol @heroofpenamstan @fenharel @alexxmason @pensdragon @rolangf @a-treides @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe

[katyasrussianaccent]

i don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips (corpse x reader)

Summary: Corpse suggests you flirt with each other to mess with the fans. What happens when you suddenly catch feelings?

Authors Note: This has been in my brain for so long so I decided to write it. May or may not write a part 2, im not sure. Lemme know what you think! My requests are open for fic/headcannons aswell 💖

It should have been simple.

Flirt, mess with the fans a little, sit back and relax.

It should have been simple.

You remember Corpse coming to you with the idea.

“Why would we do that?” you had asked, frowning at your phone screen. It had been another late night phone conversation with him; something that was starting to become a regular occurrence.

You pictured him shrug as he answered. “Fun?”

“Are you so bored you wanna make a fake relationship with me?”

“Not a relationship. Just do what we do now, but like, more.”

You had agreed before your brain had even registered it. On paper it was straightforward. You already flirted a little anyway, you were naturally a flirtatious person, and so was he. It made sense; or at least you had told yourself that it did. You knew the fans already shipped you together, you saw the things they tweeted as you occasionally lurked the ynhusband tag on Twitter. It was just innocent fun right? No-one was going to get hurt.

For a little while that was true. For a little while he called you baby and you called him darling and it meant nothing. Your face didn’t feel flush when he commented on your latest Instagram post and your heart didn’t do a little flip when he would call you just to see how you were. The phone conversations were your favourite; curled up in bed with the phone on your pillow, trading secrets into the night. He had suddenly become this constant in your life, this almost routine familiarity like brushing your teeth or going to get milk.

You weren’t sure what changed, when it had gone from being innocent fun to meaning something. It was like someone had flicked a switch, and Corpse was no longer a warm glow but this bright, blinding light that hurt your eyes to look at too long. It was almost cruel, the way you wanted something so unobtainable; the universe’s idea of a joke had no humour in it. The thing with Corpse was he was so unaware of the power he had. He was mysterious yes, but he was faceless among a sea of faces; of course people were drawn to him. And you were just another.

You started to pull away. You played different games with different people, you ignored his tweets. It was easier, if you never interacted with him, you could pretend there was nothing but shallow feelings instead of the crashing waves that threatened to pull you under. The fans had started to notice; your streams were filled with questions that you refused to answer.

“Where’s Corpse?” you read aloud as you scrolled down the chat. “Probably in his house? Go ask him.” Your tone was bitter even to you and you inwardly cringed. He hadn’t contacted you in 2 weeks, and while you were thankful, you were hurt by it. It was stupid and hypoctritical of you to be upset by something that was your own doing, and you weren’t sure what you had expected from him. He had other friends, other people to talk to, why would he have cared about you anyway?

Your phone lit up next to you, and you ignored the pang of disappointment at Rae’s picture flashing up.

Rae: Among Us???

You hesitated for a second. The likelihood of Corpse being there was high, but you knew deep down he wouldn’t say a thing to you, not on stream or in front of your friends. You could just ignore him, like you had been doing and it would be fine. You weren’t sure you believed yourself anymore.

“Guys, you want to watch me play Among Us? I’m not sure who’s playing, other than Rae.” You looked at the fast flowing stream of affirmatives and emojis. Guess you had to do it now. You opened up the game and joined the lobby.

“-yeah she looks really fucking cute,” you heard Corpse say as you logged in. You looked down at your outfit,; he definitely wasn’t talking about you in your oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. You had been on stream for a few hours now; your eyeliner was smudged a little and any lipstick had worn off with the constant drinking and licking your lips. No, he definitely wasn’t talking about you.

“Hey guys,” you said tentatively, swallowing down the feeling of jealousy at Corpse’s previous words.

A chorus of greetings hit you, and you smiled at their enthusiasm. You had played with Rae, Sykunno and Toast a few times before, but Felix, Jack and Ash were new to you, though you knew of them.

“Hey Y/N,” Corpse said. You had hoped after 2 weeks he wouldn’t still affect you so much, but the way your stomach turned said otherwise.

“Hey Corpse,” you replied, hoping your tone was casual.

“I haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?” he asked.

“Oh. Uh yeah, I’ve been a bit busy I guess, how are you?” You looked down as you answered, picking at your nail polish. You glanced at the chat that was filled with messages.

corpsesbaby: You can always tell when someones lying coz they look down” llamadelrey: why is this so awkward lmao arent they friends??” simpsforrae: This is like is a breakup i swear

“I’ve been okay, thanks” Corpse answered, drawing your eyes off the chat and back to the game. You nodded as you muted your mic to go back to your stream.

“I hope I don’t get imposter, I always suck at that so much.” You watched as the screen counted down and the word IMPOSTER flashed up alongside Corpse’s name. “Guess I jinxed it guys.”

Great. Not only were you imposter, you were imposter with Corpse, which meant you would have to actually speak to him. Maybe you wouldn’t have to.

You both followed Rae as she walked up towards Greenhouse, and you cornered her while she did her task, killing her quickly.

“Everyone seemed to go right, so we should vent back towards cafeteria to avoid suspicion,” Corpse said.

“Okay,” you answered. You vented together, and you muted your mic to laugh. “This is kinda cosy guys.” You said to your chat. You briefly imagined what it would be like in real life to be so close to him.

You moved to Admin where Toast was doing his task. Before you could say a word, Corpse had already killed him and you both vented outside Cafeteria. “Fuck, that was so close,” you muttered, chuckling a little.

“Don’t worry, I got your back,” he replied, making your heart sing a little.

“Oh my hero,” you said, making a point of swooning to your chat, your voice high and airy. “How will I ever repay you?”

He chuckled, “You shouldn’t ask questions like that.”

You flushed at the suggestive tone he had taken, and you hoped it wasn’t noticeable but judging by the comments in your chat, it clearly had been. This was another issue you had with Corpse; he always made these type of comments with you and it was really annoying. You knew there was no chance he was being serious, and sometimes you wished he would stop it purely because it got your hopes up.

delilah: shes BLUSHING dreamofme: uWu yn uWu

You opened your mouth to respond when Dead Body Reported flashed up, bringing your thoughts back to the game.

“Toast and Rae are dead,” Sykuuno said. “I found Rae in Greenhouse and Toast in admin.”

“I was in balcony, I went there from the cafeteria,” you said confidently. You hated being Imposter, especially being teamed with Corpse, who was so good at the game, you had a lot of pressure to do well.

“I was in MedBay, I didn’t see you YN,” Ash accused.

“You only see if they enter through the left door. She entered through the other door,” Corpse answered for you.

“And how do you know that?” Felix asked.

“I was in Cafeteria,” Corpse replied.

“You could’ve vented YN,” Jack said.

“No I couldn’t have, if Ash was in MedBay, she would have seen me. Unless she wasn’t in MedBay,” you suggested, smirking to your cam as you muted. “It’s not going too bad I don’t think? Always feel like I’ve been arrested when I’m Imposter.”

“Little sus of you Ash to say you were in MedBay when you weren’t,” Corpse said. You gaped a little at how easy it was for him to manipulate the situation, it was almost scary.

Ash argued as the other players began to agree and discuss among themselves. You smiled in success at the text on the screen.

Ash has been ejected.

You split up this time, and while you hadn’t really spoken during the game, you kind of missed Corpse’s astronaut next to yours, and you said that to your chat. “Haha, our colours did look cute together, I agree.”

Any previous trepidation you had had disappeared as soon as you had heard his voice; and you realised how much you had missed him. You would simply just need to deal with your feelings; they would go away eventually anyway. You just hoped it wasn’t too late for you to start again with him.

You walked to MedBay with Skyunno, making small talk as you did.

“I’m glad to see you playing with us, it’s been a little while,” he said and you felt bad that you would have to kill him. As you turned towards him, ready to kill as he did his task, Jack walked in. You mouthed oops at the cam.

“What’s going on here?” Jack asked, suspicion in his voice.

“I was just saying how nice it was to have YN here,” Sykunno replied. You stood and faked your task, watching the green bar fill as you did. It would be too risky to kill here.

“Ah yeah, Corpse has been asking after you constantly,” Jack said. You blinked at the response, it had caught you off guard.

“Oh?” you replied simply. You mentally shrugged it off. Of course he would have asked about you, you were friends, that was all.

DEAD BODY REPORTED

“Felix was dead in Reactor,” Corpse announced. “Oh Corpse, you’re taking a risk here” you said to your chat.

“I was in MedBay with Jack and Sykunno,” you replied, smiling as they agreed. “Where were you Ash?”

She sighed sadly. “I was in Labs, but I was doing a task, I swear!” You all agreed quickly that Ash would be the next voted out.

“2 to go,” you said triumphantly. “I thought I was gonna drag Corpse down, but it’s going okay!”

The round started again and you could feel yourself getting tired. Hopefully this wouldn’t be too much longer to finish the game.

You circled round Corpse a few times, hoping that he would understand your signal. Luckily he did, and you both vented to Decontamination where Skyunno and Jack were. The room had already started to emit steam, making it extremely easy for you both to vent unnoticed and kill them both.

You grinned at the Victory message that flashed up.

“Good game guys!” you said. The others congratulated you and Corpse on your win and you smiled at the sound of your names together. You had it bad.

“It was all YN,” Corpse said.

“Pfft you ssh being humble, it was all you,” you replied, taking your hair out of your ponytail and running your hand through it.

“Your hair looks nice,” Corpse commented and your eyes widened. Your heart started to beat a little quicker. How long had he been watching your stream?

“It’s bad to watch someone’s stream without telling them,” you replied, making a show of pouting for the camera.

He laughed a little. “What can I say, I’m a bad guy,” he said, singing the last words. You laughed at the sudden Billie Eilish.

“Guys, either play another game, or get a room,” Felix interrupted. You blushed a little and rolled your eyes, the chat going crazy from the corner of your eye.

“And that’s my cue to exit,” you said, yawning. “Bye guys, have a good night!” You wished everyone and your chat goodnight before closing the stream and leaning back in your chat. You couldn’t believe Corpse had been watching you. You hadn’t said anything too incriminating, but still.

You prepared for bed, settling back into the softness of your pillows as you grabbed your phone - a terrible habit you really needed to stop.

Corpse: Can I call you?

You gulped at the message that appeared on your screen, a gnawing feeling of nervous clung to your throat as you typed yes. His name came up almost instantaneously and your hand shook as you pressed to accept the call.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“Hey, what’s up?” you asked, trying to keep your voice even while your heart beat erratically in your chest.

“It was nice playing with you again,” he commented.

You sat up a little as you held the phone against your ear. “Did you call me to tell me that?”

“I haven’t spoken to you in a while.”

You sighed a little. “Yeah, I’ve been a bit busy, sorry - “

“You’re lying to me and I don’t know why,” he replied. You had never heard his voice like that before; so angry and hurt. You tapped your foot against your mattress as you thought what to say.

“I -”

“Did I do something?” he asked. You had been so selfish; blocking him out to avoid being hurt, but you hadn’t thought about his feelings. He was more popular than you were, you had assumed he would be fine, that he wouldn’t care if you were around or not.

“No, you didn’t do anything, I swear -”

“Then what? Because I thought we were friends, close friends and then suddenly you pretty much disappear. But you’re still streaming with other people. It’s pretty shitty of you.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek and looked up, the sting of tears threatening to fall. “It was really shitty of me, I’m sorry.”

“What happened?” he asked. “Please just tell me.”

“I don’t know what I’m meant to say,” you replied softly.

“What do you want to say?”

You blinked, the anticipation of unspoken words caught in your throat, making it hard to swallow. The taste of them was bitter on your tongue. “I...I have feelings for you.”

There. You had said it. There was no taking it back now, and you felt like your heart was about to shatter with every single second of silence that passed. You could hear him swallow on the other end of the phone. “Are you saying you’re in love with me?”

You bit your lip, taking in the meaning of the question he had asked. It wasn’t something you had thought of, you hadn’t conceptualised your feelings for him, not put them in a box labelled love or anything. “I don’t know. I feel something for you. And it kinda sucks being your friend and having those feelings. So I pulled away.”

“Why does it suck?”

You laughed bitterly. “Why wouldn’t it? Feeling something for someone that doesn’t feel the same is fucking shitty.”

“I asked you to flirt with me YN -”

“Yeah, for fun,” you interrupted.

“No, I said for fun, but really I just wanted you to,” he replied. “I feel something for you too. How could I not? Has anything I’ve ever said to you sounded like it was just for fun?” You smiled at his response, your heart no longer on the fit of breaking, but suddenly doing flips and soaring through your chest, radiating warmth through your body.

“Oh,” you said, your brain was overloaded with thoughts, and was apparently no longer capable of coherent sentences.

“Oh? That’s a great response, thanks,” he teased, but you could tell he was smiling as he spoke.

“I wasn’t expecting you to say that, I don’t really know what to say honestly,” you replied.

“Well, baby, how about you say yes to a date?” he asked.

“Yes.”

[justfangirlthingies]

Caught my eye (Corpse Husband x reader)

Soulmate AU: In which everyone has one eye in their own eye colour and one in the colour of their soulmate. However, when you are close to meeting each other, your vision will change to the soulmate's one, letting you know you are close. When your eyes meet they will change their colour to their original eye colour.

Word count: 4189 words

Warnings: cursing because that is automatically given when writing about Corpse

Another Soulmate AU from my Wattpad account let's go!

Staring into the camera were a pair of, colourwise mismatched, eyes, one iris a deep brown and the other one a shimmering (e/c).

It was not unusual for someone to have two different eye colours in one set of eyes, it simply meant one had yet to find their significant other.

Pressing record on your camera you let your eyes stay right in front of the lens for a second before rolling backwards on your chair, your torso now in frame as well "Hello all of you beautiful individuals! I'm (y/yt/n) and as always I welcome you here!" You waved at your camera, a warm and welcoming smile gracing your lips. "In case this is your first time stumbling over this channel" you paused a second and giggled "Hi, welcome to this chaos!" Slowly you neared the camera again "Leave while you still can" you whisper shouted into your microphone.

"No hold on don't leave please! I was just kidding" You joked at your camera.

A happy sigh escaped your mouth as you leaned back in your chair "Today is q & a time isn't it?" You wiggled your eyebrows at the blinking light in front of you "Well let's get to it then...hmm...lemme see. Youtubetrash asks 'how old are you (Y/n)?' Do you always have to ask that question guys?" You scold playfully "I'm 19, but I really don't get why this is so important to you that I have to answer it in every video, like do you want to know the exact amount of days and minutes? Will you stop asking it every goddamn time then?" You chuckled as you ran a hand through your (h/l), (h/c) hair. "Right, next question! SusanIsAFish wants to know which eye colour my own is. I can easily answer that with either 'both are' or 'hell if I know' I've always had two eye colours like how am I supposed to know." A grin spread on your face as you continued to interact with your community's questions...

"Alright alright these are the last two questions guys. Nightmaresscareme...honestly same" you laughed as you read the users name out aloud. When you calmed down again you cleared your throat and continued "Ahem, anyways they wanna know if I found my soulmate already and who it is....Do I look like I found my soulmate?" You asked smiling as you approached the recording device once again and pointed a finger at each eye. "I have no Idea who it is but maybe you find whoever it is because all of you people are little Sherlock's I swear, you find out everything." Laughter erupted from your throat once again as you pointed at your camera.

"Last but not least, (y/n)stan asks 'when will you collab with Jack again? The two of you promised to make a video or something together?' Woah calm down, honestly I don't even think he remembers that, it was years ago. How do you even remember that (y/n)stan? I swear to god that's exactly what I meant with ya'll being Sherlock's." You wiggled your eyebrows again "But if you do remember, Seán and you magically happen to see this video. What happened to our collab plans dude?" You giggled "Alrighty guys that's it for today's video. Stay awesome my dudes, dudettes and in betweens and I'll see ya in the next one!" You winked and waved before stopping your recording and going straight to editing your video.

Just as you were about to upload your piece of work, your phone rang, scaring you in the process and causing you to delete your video. You groan in frustration holding your head in your palms.

"This better be important..." you mumbled to yourself as you went to check your phone. Seriously?! It was a Twitter notification. You sighed and ignored it for now, saving your video was a priority right now.

After hours of retrieving and re-editing your footage you finally uploaded the video to the worldwide known platform and picked up your phone to see what Twitter wanted from you.

As you opened the app you saw that it was a private message from none other than Jacksepticeye. What a freaking coincidence you thought, a smile now appearing on your face as you read the message. All your frustration was gone and instead replaced with confusion and laughter.  "What kind of message is that?" You muttered as you shook your head laughing.

Jacksepticeye:

Hey (Y/n) what colours are your eyes again?

(Y/T/N):

What kinda question is that? Lmao

Jacksepticeye:

Just answer my question dum dum :)

■

■

■

■

A raven haired male was on a discord call with his online friend that he had just revealed his face to. "Jack what are you doing now?" The young man laughed at his friend.

"Hold on, I'm texting someone."

The dark haired man sighed and waited "that's not very polite you know" he smiled.

"Pschh I'm finding your soulmate, what's impolite about that?" The Irish man looked up from his phone and back at his Computer screen. Only to start laughing at the other's reaction.

"Corpse? You good?" He kept on laughing at the dumbfounded expression on Corpse's face.

Who as a reaction turned off his camera, suddenly feeling very insecure towards his friend again.

"What do you mean?" His deep voice asked cautious.

"Don't worry man I'm not leaking your face or any info to anyone" he smiled reassuringly. "Your eyes just reminded me of someone else with the same or very similar ones. At least I hope I remember their eye colours correctly" He rambled on.

"Oh..." came from the other line, which was now more quiet than usual.

Seán noticed the change in his friend's behaviour and immediately stopped what he was doing. "I'm sorry Corpse..." the Irishman scratched bis neck awkwardly "I should've asked you first"

"I-it's fine. I just can't imagine anyone wanting to be my soulmate" the male sighed.

His friend flashed an encouraging smile at the screen "Dude! Anyone would be happy to be your soulmate. I know I would be! You are great, I know you probably don't believe me but I mean it bud. Besides, your soulmate is your other half, it's like they were made for you"

One could hear a sigh coming from the black screen as Corpse turned his camera back on, his pink tinted cheeks now showing up on screen as well. He had put his eye-patch on, leaving only his brown eye visible. "And you're really sure?" He asked quietly.

"100% sure! Anyone with half a brain would know how lovable you are" the blue eyed male grinned. "Besides, the person I'm thinking of also has a YouTube channel, I think I still owe them a collab, sooo I could maybe invite them to play some kind of-"

He cut himself off. "They answered!"

■

■

■

(Y/T/N):

Well they're like brown and (e/c), it's such a weird mix though.

Jacksepticeye:

Interesting.

Hey (Y/n), how about we do that collab? You could fly out and we meet up

(Y/T/N):

You still remember that? XD

Yeah sure I'd love that, I just had someone ask me about that collab today.

But seriously dude why are my eyes interesting to you all of a sudden? You found my soulmate or smth 🧐😂

Jacksepticeye:

😏😌🤭🤫

Right....

So when are you coming?

(Y/T/N):

Dude!

You literally just asked me if I even wanna come! Like come on, you think I've booked a flight already? Just like 10 minutes after you asked me to travel there?

Jacksepticeye:

As a matter of fact I don't just think so, I know it ;)

So when do I have the honors of picking your jet-lagged ass up at the airport?

(Y/T/N):

:(

...

This weekend

Time skip

A happy sigh escaped your lips as you felt the plane reaching the ground of its destination. You swiftly grabbed your bag and left the plane to get the rest of your luggage.

A yawn escaped your mouth as you grabbed your stuff, staying awake during the whole flight probably wasn't your best idea, but you couldn't help it. To you it was simply impossible to fall asleep on a journey by plane.

Your eyes skimmed the airport as you were searching for your friend.

After a few minutes of looking around you decided to sit down and wait, he was probably still on his way to the airport.

Just as you decided to open up your phone you got smacked in the face... With a balloon? "What the hell?" You whispered as you were pulled up from your seat and embraced. "(Y/N)! Hey! I haven't seen you in forever"

You looked up a little confused as you reciprocated the hug. "Well hello to you too Seán"

He chuckled and grabbed one of your bags before dragging you with him. "How can you be so motivated and energetic?" You giggled and tried to keep up with your Irish friend. "That (Y/n), is simply because I'm not sleep deprived like you"

■

■

■

Setting up his stream was a curly haired nervous mess. He was always nervous when he had to stream. But today was somehow worse.

The half Mexican ran his fingers through his hair. It was just a game with friends right? However, he had never played this game before.

His nerves getting to him caused Corpse to cancel the idea of a stream. "I'll just be there and play along, that's fine too. I don't need to stream every time I'm playing a game with my friends..." he muttered to himself.

With a bottle of water beside him he started the game and went through the tutorial. "Man this game is fucking cute" he laughed before joining the discord call, just to be engulfed in a complete chaos of voices.

"Hey Corpse is here! Hi hi!" A Swedish voice boomed through his headphones along with the rest of the group greeting him. "Hey guys" he replied as he joined their server in the game. "So what are we doing? Why is no one starti-" the deep voice started but was cut of by someone else.

■

■

■

"HOLY FUCKING- Who the hell was that?! Hello by the way" The whole call erupted in laughter at the reaction of the (h/c) haired individual.

"Uhh hi, that was me" Corpse answered laughing as he scratched his head nervously "and you also just answered my question for me thank you, whoever you are" Everyone laughed once again.

"Okay but seriously who are you?" Dave asked.

"Jack! You said you told em that I'd join" you huffed as you glanced At your friend next to you, you were sharing one discord account for this call as you sat right next to each other and didn't want the quality of the call to go down because of an echo. Both of you streamed online on twitch.

"Whoops! I thought I did" he chuckled once more as he introduced you to the party. "Well then..." he coughed in an attempt to clear his throat "Drum-roll please! this is (Y/n), they came to visit me this weekend. (Y/n), that's Dave, Felix, Joel, PJ and Corpse."

"Hi" you said suddenly a little nervous because you thought everyone knew you'd join.

Luckily no one seemed to mind that you were here as they greeted you. In fact, they seemed ecstatic to meet you.

"So have any of you not played this before?" Pewds asked the group. "Uh yeah, me" Yours and the deep voice said simultaneously. "But I did the tutorial" Corpse added. "Well I didn't" you laughed. "Great then we're all set, shame on you though (Y/n)!" Seán shouted.

"Jeez man, you told me to skip it and I can hear you! I'm right next to you and not deaf in case you didn't know" you sassed back, causing laughter to bounce through your headset once more.

"(Y/n) and Corpse you two haven't played before that means you count as one person for the group things cause both of you are noobs and if you count as one we have even team numbers" The swede joked.

■

■

■

"We're the Meowfia" Jack laughed, starting off with his puns for this game.

(Y/n) snorted at that as everyone chose the animals of their teams. Corpse chose the cat with an eye-patch along with his team. "Maan this is peer pressure!" Your voice called out "lucky for me I like cats"

"That is the truth" the Irish voice boomed through the call once again, "I mean you should see, even their headphones have cat ears"

"I wanna see that!" Dave shouted.

"Can we see them in your cam Jack?" PJ asked.

"Not completely, they're streaming on Twitch though, its at (Y/YT/N) on Twitch and YouTube" Seán smiled as he pat your back.

"You can't just expose me like that!" The cute voice answered panicking.

"I gotta see that, hold on!" Felix shouted as he opened up your stream smirking as he followed you. "Corpse, they'll ruin your life" he continued as your cheeks flushed a bright red, suddenly feeling so exposed and put on the spot "why...why am I ruining his life?" You asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Corpse had also opened up your account as he stared in awe at the enchanting individual now on his computer screen. Were you the one Jack had meant? No it couldn't be.

"Well you see, he wrote a song about cat girls ruining his life. Right Corpse?" This statement made him come back to reality and quite flustered at that "Huh? What-  ...ohhh uhm- uh- yeah" he responded in a stutter, the pale skin of his cheeks heating up and turning red.

"Corpse are you alright?" you asked, concern not only laced in your voice but also written all over your face, which he saw. This whole ordeal just made him blush more. There was a short pause "...Yeah.." the raven haired responded. But not even a second later a laugh erupted in the call "Did we just catch you right handed?" The voice belonged to Dave. "What do you mean?" Corpse asked confused. While he waited for a response from his friend, he started fiddling with his rings as he kept his eyes on (Y/N)'s stream which was still pulled up on his screen. "Well, did we catch you watching her stream?" Dave replied trying to hold in his laughter.

Your expression changed as your eyes went wide and you looked right at your camera "Is that true?" Your voice chimed in as a hint of pink spread across your cheeks, one of your eyebrows arched. "Well..." The man with the username 'CORPSE' cleared his throat "I had to see if Jack and Felix were speaking the truth..."

A smirk spread across your face "And? Were they honest?" you laughed as your Irish companion moved his face into the frame of your camera wiggling his eyebrows. The only answer you got to your question was silence before the deep voice continued "Alright let's start this game." Yet another laugh escaped your throat when you noticed the lack of a reply to your question. However, one could say that silence was an answer on its own.

■

■

■

The young guy sighed loudly after the game had ended, rolling back, away from his table, in his gaming chair he ran his hands through his curly hair. The game was fun, but it was exhausting for the man to concentrate on a game this long. Just as he was about to get up, turn all devices off and leave, he heard a familiar sound coming from his computer screen.

A discord call and video call at that was incoming from none other that Jacksepticeye. So, Corpse rolled forward in his chair again as he checked if his camera was turned off and covered. After reassuring himself that his face was hidden he accepted the call. "Hey whaddup?" He greeted his loud friend who immediately responded with a "Hey my man". His mismatched eyes widened as he looked at the screen, it was not only Jack on the call...they were there as well, a shy smile plastered on their face as they kept their eyes closed "Hey Corpse, tell me when your camera is off. Sean told me it might be on and I don't want you to accidentally expose yourself to me." "Oh yeah, it's off. You can open your eyes it's fine." Just as he finished his sentence their eyelids slowly fluttered open as they stared at the black screen and waved. There was no way to describe the feeling that went through him as he admired you in awe. He seemed starstruck and without thinking he blurted out "You have to visit San Diego sometime, but like soon"

Your eyes widened slightly not knowing how to respond to that "Umm...yeah I dunno, maybe someday?" Jack gasped dramatically "You never invited me over even though I'm the one you trusted enough to show your face to!"

Yet another time today, the male behind the black screen felt a blush grow on his face. "Well i-it's your fault for introducing me to your friend. And umm sorry if I was a bit too blunt there" He stuttered. "No it's fine. I'm a very spontaneous person ya know." You replied an embarrassed smile gracing your lips once more "But you could be a killer for all I know...sorry you probably hear that one a lot haha. Also, would you even be comfortable enough to meet up..." slowly you started drifting off with what you were saying. As soon as you realized you were trailing off of the topic at hand, you tried to get back to the conversation "ahem.. yeah, anyways as I was saying...someday sure. I mean...I am traveling around at the moment because I flew to Brighton. Maybe you know, we could get to know each other a bit better first" you smiled nervously as you replied.

"Ah yes...of course. Though I do have a question for you Seán. Is (Y/n) the one we spoke of a few days ago?" came back as a reply. He had a plan to gain their trust if they really were his suspected soulmate. The man next to (Y/n) nodded and gave a wink to the camera they used for the call. This action just confused you even more and it must have shown on your face because your loud friend started laughing at you. "Don't worry it was nothing bad" Jack reassured. "Hold on, is this about the random-" there was a lot of shuffling coming from the black screen. The noise had startled you a bit, causing you to stop mid sentence. "the random question about my eyes?" You continued your question, looking at that Irish friend of yours, but you didn't get a reply for there was another loud noise coming from Corpse's side of the screen. You shifted your attention back to the screen in front of you again just to be met with more shuffling and a sudden colour change of the screen. Your eyes widened as you saw a face only briefly for a split second before your vision suddenly changed. You looked around to see an unfamiliar room and as you saw the sight before your eyes you felt as though they were going to pop out of their sockets at any moment.

No...

No fucking way...

"Holy shit" you heard the words leave both your mouths. You just stared at the screen in front of you to see yourself, who apparently sat on the other side of the screen next to Seán. And you also saw the live view of a young man with black curly hair, dressed in black in a small window of the computer. You felt really dizzy all of a sudden and the light before your eyes went black briefly before returning to more used surroundings again.

Realisation dawned on you as you blinked a few times and spoke aloud "I-I just imagined that right? There's no way. C-Corpse you didn't happen to experience that right now, did-did you?"

"Holy fuck..." you heard a low mutter coming from the speakers.

Jack looked at you, eyebrows raised in confusion for a second before realization dawned on him and a knowing smirk appeared on his face as he shouted "CALLED IT!"

The two of you could not yet comprehend what was happening, let alone listen and realize what your mutual friend had to say.

After a few minutes of complete silence you tore your eyes away from the pen on Jack's desk, which had become the most interesting thing and perfect staring partner for the past minutes and shifted your gaze back to the young raven-haired individual before you, a small smile and a huge blush grazing your facial features as you spoke up, voice quiet and soft, but also full of nervousness "soo...umm...Corpse, are you gonna give me that address in San Diego?"

The question stood in the room for a few moments as silence engulfed you once again. Corpse's expression on his bright red face however, showed he was pondering."Y-yeah of course...sure...I-I'll text it to you if you give me that number of yours..." Then there was a pause. "Whe-When can I expect you then?"

This time it was your turn to think. "How about directly when you leave Brighton?" Jack chimed in. "But th-that's like in two days..." you stuttered in response. It was a nice idea and you did feel a pull to meet this handsome stranger as soon as possible. "Well yeah, that's the point is it not? I already checked for flights while you two where staring off somewhere....Sooo? Should I buy the ticket real quick? You can thank me later." Your mismatching eyes kept switching your gaze from your friend who had made this crazy suggestion and your apparent soulmate who now wore an eyepatch and was watching you expectantly while patiently awaiting your answer. A small sigh left your lips as you made your decision. When you tried to verbally answer though, your voice had left you, so you made eye-contact with the man also known as Corpse Husband, who had trusted you enough to reveal his face to you, and just gave him a small nod. He seemed to understand and gave you a reassuring smile.

"It's final then?" Seán, who had watched this whole ordeal unfold asked smiling happily as you just nodded once again "Y-yeah"

■

■

■

Two days later you found yourself on yet another plane ride, but this time it was not to England, nor was its destination your home. You sat on your seat in silence, music which you couldn't concentrate on, blasting through your headphones while you  twiddled with your fingers, bouncing your leg up and down quickly. What were you gonna say? He would pick you up outside of the airport in order to avoid bumping into things when the view-switching-thing would happen.

■

■

■

Meanwhile, the faceless YouTuber had finished tidying up his apartment and prepared everything for your arrival. He would be lying if he said he didn't look you up on the socials to learn more about you.

About half an hour before the plane would land he drove off to your designated meeting spot. He arrived there 10 minutes early so he could mentally prepare himself. About 5 minutes later he put on his black face mask and exited his car. At first he was gonna wait for you here, but his nerves and heart got the better of him, so he made his way closer inside the airport building to meet you halfway. What he didn't know was that your plane would land early. So, as he made his way through the people, which was way out of his comfort zone already, he started to see black dots clouding his view, but suddenly he came from the other side. Oh no. The body kept walking until he saw himself in the crowd.

Your eyes met as you tried to navigate through the crowd of people, it was hard as you had to control your own body somehow even though you could only see what your soulmate would usually see. Finally you had gotten somewhat closer to one another and as you came to a halt, your bodies mere inches apart as your eyesight returned to your own again. You looked up at the man in front of you in awe. Your eyes were fixated on his as you noticed the (e/c) in his one eye fade away, just to be replaced by this beautiful shade of brown that was in his other eye. The colour you knew so well because you had seen it in the mirror in one of your own eyes everyday. "Your eyes" you whispered. He smiled in return "yours too..it's nice to meet you (Y/n). My soulmate. You are even more dazzling in person" he complimented. "I can't say anything else besides the same applies to you" You smiled in return as your face went red. "Well then...Shall we?" he grinned as he took one of your backpacks and started walking. "Hey! Wait up!" You laughed as you ran to catch up to your soulmate...

[kamuiboyfriends]

Top 5 Romance Club Love Interests

CONTEXT: The only stories I’ve fully caught with up as of the making of this post and therefore, met the LIs of their stories firsthand are the following:

Sails in the Fog S3E9

Moonborn S2E1

Shadows of Saintfour COMPLETED

Wave Patrol COMPLETED

Seduced by the Rhythm COMPLETED

Chasing You S1E2 (RIP lmao)

Heaven’s Secret COMPLETED

Rage of the Titans S2E8

Gladiator Chronicles S1E7

Heart of Trespia S1E7

The Flower from Tiamat’s Fire S1E2

Thanks to @somin-yin for the tagging for this! Now with my limited experience, lemme see if I can craft a top 5😂

(I blame Gladiator Chronicles for having currently little to no confirmation on LIs so if a “Love Interest” from that book happens to show up, I’m just assuming they’re a LI.)

Disclaimer: This list was kinda spontaneously made and on the spot so… yeah. Also I don’t have pictures so they were picked of off the wiki so quality of photos will be meh.

LIST BELOW THE CUT (It gets wordy. Sorry about that😅

Tagging: … I once again don’t know who to tag because everyone seemed to have done this by now. So I guess if you see this and haven’t already been tagged… feel free to make your own top 5!

5. CHARLES (SBTR)

I just like the little backstory of MC and Charles. The whole close bond together in their teens but they get separated due to unfortunate events, then reunites in the future? I kinda like that. Also, he’s hot and sweet which is quite a combo! Then why is he low on the list? Simply put, other stories attracted me more to them and their respective LIs.

4. SAMUEL MAKOTO (CY)

Despite being unfortunately in a story I only have two chapters of experience, I really enjoyed some of the screenshots I saw! (which were mostly about him and Alex being sus but enough about that.) That plus the small time I get to see him in HS. He was one of the few LIs I saw when I was just a newbie to this app and I was just drawn to him, let that speak for itself.

3. MURPHY / JASON (ROTT)

Yeah… I’m putting these two in a tie. As someone who is undecided in their LI in this story, combined with Ares making me wanna act up, I’m literally that meme of the guy sweating because he didn’t know what button to press. For Murphy? Do I need to explain? Man is so damn hot and also quite the softie too! For Jason? I honestly don’t know😆 I was just drawn to him from the start and I REALLY want to explore his route, despite its non-existency but I can wait for as long as I can… I think…

Also yeah I’m probably the one Jason stan in this whole app😀 But this lack of screentime makes me second guess myself cause wtf…

2. HOTCH (GC) (I hope…)

The Jan 2022 update only further cemented my want for this man to be confirmed of LI status. In Episode 7, he was kinda giving flirty and confident vibes? I like that! Am I grasping at straws on a character that might not even be an LI? Probably but that doesn’t mean I like him any less. Also he’s a spy… that’s cool!

1. MALBONTE (HS)

Though I’m not alone in this, I can definitely say that this was a landslide for me. If you can draw me to a whole new app and then exceed my expectations on your character and the story you’re in the way Malbonte did, you’re going on top 1 for me. Why do I like him? There’s something about instilling fear on everyone just by existing that I find attractive LMAO. He’s also REALLY beautiful AND the path I was going for in HS was where I had to balance Angel and Demon points, which was conveniently named the “Path of Malbonte”… You can’t tell me that’s not fate.

END OF POST

[levis-wings]

needed a little break in between reading summer rain and silent storms by @astridthevalkyrie to process the first book's ending. i thought going straight into silent storms would literally break me (like actually murder me lol)

yet, i was rendered pleasantly surprised.

i began reading silent storms during my commute to work. and lemme tell you, i haven't been wanting to go to work for a while now because it's been HECTIC (new ehr system is driving us all NUTS). i was also expecting to hold my tears in public (in fear of the angst of the ending of summer rain to bleed into silent storms' beginning). however, i spent like thirty minutes trying not to squeal with happiness and adoration, instead. it also just so happened that when i reached the first smut scene, i was still on my commute (fairly easy to hide my blush behind a mask though, thank god LOL). and by the time my commute to work finished, i was so energized by what i'd read, that i felt excited?? to walk into work??? like levi and oc's romance??? literally rejuvenated me LOL

the overall feel of silent storms, for me at least, was much lighter, fluffier than what summer rain was. don't get me wrong. it was a still massive fucking idiots to lovers, but the idiocy was adorable and tolerable. (mainly because i got to see what was going on in levi's head, which was an AMAZING touch.) i didn't wanna rip out my heart and cry at any point of the story; instead, i wanted to scream and dance with joy 99.9% of the time. i cannot emphasize HOW WELL the emotions, the feelings, the butterflies are written. i feel like i'm feeling love for the first time reading what the characters are going through and not many pieces of media can actually make me feel something

it's the way in which the thoughts are written so... realistically. you hear the characters' doubts, their wishes, their fears. you see what they hide from the other, what they pick and choose to share. you see what they secretly struggle with and what the other assumes of them. and every single one of their reactions/thoughts feels organic to me. also very true to character

[spoilers]

i think this was in chapter one. but this fucking quote:

"The tea is just as bad as last time, if not worse, but he dutifully drinks it all, as she makes herself at home in his office and starts talking his ear off about the many unhealthy effects of insomnia and why does she care why is she looking at him like that what's the matter with her why doesn't she just shut the fuck up for once why is she so pretty—"

the moment i read the latter part, my heart flew out of my chest. it's fucking adorable the way he can barely have a linear thought because he's so whipped for her. i can't even explain with words how HAPPY i was to see how he had felt through all of this

let's also talk about the fucking character development. oc out there pulling uno reverse cards. i think she's the kind of person who grows and learns from others. she takes each person's word to account AND she is aware of this (also the reason she tries to avoid telling levi about important life choices she knows he'll try to talk her out of). sometimes, her inner demons get the best of her. she's complex. (i had an inkling of this is summer rain but more of her childhood was explained in silent storms and the puzzle pieces just fit.) she likes to think that she lives for herself. degrades herself into thinking she's selfish (though honestly, there's nothing wrong with looking out for yourself). but i think it's natural for her to also look out for the people she cares for. her way of caring is listening. and taking in the information they tell her. it's just the cherry on top of her already lovable character. anyways, after understanding her character better, for a while, i suspected she'd somehow(?) try to join the scouts. i was very surprised (and supportive) of her decision to do so as well!

in summer rain, i thought she wasn't ready to be a scout yet. but clearly, she's had quite a few epiphanies and they'd led her to believe in herself. she's totally ready now

i still can't believe i went in thinking i'd fall for levi more and came out falling for the female lead help??

levi's sweet moments sprinkled throughout?? the fic?? killed me.

" 'I'm glad,' he confesses to her, 'I'm happy you didn't join the Scouts. I ... want you to be safe.' "

there are moments like this where he speaks his truth... but it's so tender, so sweet that it's just almost out of pocket. but at this point, he should just fucking say the opposite of what he wants for oc because she'll do the thing he doesn't want her to do, anyways

and listen when he said:

" 'Your mother didn't do her best,' he says honestly, 'you did.' "

i very much did cry inside. and the fact that this left oc speechless. like same, babe, same. it's these rare moments of sweetness that leave me feeling giddy. i don't expect it at all, so when it just comes out, i get so caught off guard LOL

my favorites scenes HAD to be when they had a full-on verbal fight in front of oc's date LMAO, when levi initiated their second kiss, when petra convinced oc to join the special operations squad, when levi and oc finally fucking decided to make something fucking official and then he proceeds to pull out a list of rules from nowhere. hilarious

their constant bickering and dialogue is just *chef's kiss.* never exactly read a couple with better chemistry. i'm also the type of person to like the chase but loathe the aftermath of a couple finally getting together. but fucking goddammit, with these two, i know it'll never get boring. it's also because they tend to banter a lot and i'm that bitch who ships dramione and zutara so you know i like the drama

ALSO?? ERWIN?? when i was watching aot, my friend told me she thought erwin was a 'bad' character. i asked her why she felt that way. she told me because he had no depth to his character—that he was plain. i disagreed. i think erwin (along with levi and eren) is arguably one of the most complex characters in aot, and this fic just brings it out sooooo well! there's just?? something in me?? that makes me believe erwin is SUS of levi and oc. also the fact that he remains a mystery to oc too. she's always questioning the relationship erwin has with levi and even that in it itself makes the man 10 times more enigmatic. i absolutely love it

and the smut. goodbye. i only expected one scene. i was given like... i can't even count because i can't do math when i'm excited lol. but it was much more than what i expected and i was LIVING for it. something about levi letting go of control????????? please. didn't think subby levi would be my cup of tea but i guess i was proven wrong. i'm not even mad

i forgot to say in my last review. but listen. oc liking milk makes me feel so validated. like i literally do not know a single fucking real-life person who likes drinking plain milk like me. and yes, people have poked fun at my habit. BUT SEEING OC DRINKING HER PLAIN MILK SO UNAPOLOGETICALLY. GODDAMN. plain milk drinkers rise 😩😩

but i also need levi to teach oc how to make good tea tho. like girly, you add hot water and a good amount of tea leaves 🤨 what are you getting wrong?

anyways, i've said way too much again. but i can't help but get excited when i come across such a great work of art. though i admit i'm terrified going into warmth. i don't think i'm ready to see the show's events unfolding... because when petra dies i will fucking cry. it's funny because when i first watched aot, i didn't even know who petra fucking was until AFTER she got squashed... yikes. but the more i learn about her character (in aot and in this particular setting), the more i like her

i always end up having some sort of stupid side character syndrome. in aot, i focused on levi/hange/erwin and sasha/connie/jean. and now even in a whole ass fanfiction ABOUT levi, i'm fantasizing about petra and erwin??? huh???

i hope things go well for levi and oc in the future. i'm not ready to see the shit go down in warmth though 😭

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

RECENT MANGA SPOILERS

Lemme put you on some angst because canon can suck it and I like pain

Ecto after the war looking for survivors to help with evacuation. His clones are moving rubble and helping hurt heroes to safety. Another hero -maybe jeanist or something- stops him because “we found Higari..and it isn’t looking good, you need to prepare to say goodbye.”

Ecto is running on pure adrenaline, rips his mask off and kneels where Higari is. He looks terrible, and it’s clear the worst is going to happen. Everyone around moves away so they can have their final goodbyes.

Ecto carrying Higari’s body off the battlefield, numb and broken.

Ooohhhhhhh Anon, I love you so much!!!! Sorry I kinda rambled on a bit but here is my response??

Includes recent manga spoilers and talks of death ->

Sorry this took so long to answer!!! I haven’t been in much of an angsty mood and my thing keeps on bugging out whenever I try to write an answer?

But aaaaaaaaaa yessss this!!! This angst right here! This hurts my heart in the most amazing way possible and I absolutely love it!!

‘Tis kinda funny too, this particular scenario is one that I’ve thought about a lot myself since I started reading the manga and had caught up to this arc. Just because a) we haven’t seen Higari since the school music festival thing arc, and b) I swear the last time we saw Ecto he was carrying those lil hospital beds to evacuate the hospital and stuff?? Sooooooo where are they? Great angst potential....ya know?

Anon, this angst is gorgeous, but I raise you some angst with the possibility of it also being -> ✨the other way around?✨

A thought of mine: Higari is a hero, yes? And he also works in support, yeh? But I also have many headcanons of him being one of the ones that aid in the reconstruction of buildings and places after big fights and incidents - meaning that he gets called on a lot after situations like this. (I have got other lil headcanons for him as well that sometimes seem to be very contrasting to how most people portray him so yeah lmao dunno whether I should post some of those?)

Soooo this time, he is getting ready to go and join everyone in the fight (maybe he does and that’s a different piece of angst with many different endings in itself- I think you could probably tell that this part of the arc caused me to spiral into multiple different daydream plots and that sure kept me sane over quarantine) however he is forced to stay put, with all might and eri and that lot, because the commission “couldn’t lose one of the people who could fix and put things back to how they were conveniently”....this makes him mad, of course, and cue shouting and angry gremlin noises as Ecto goes to calm him down.

I actually did a sad lil (very low quality) sketch for this bit but I can’t find it rn I might post it at some point. But there are tears as Ecto is suiting up and getting ready to leave and Higari is all like “why can’t I just come with you” and Ecto is like “well you gotta stay safe” and he’s like “please don’t go, don’t leave...” and they’ve got their foreheads pressed against each other’s, in that way that they did to let each other know they love each other at any time, but this time there are so many tears. Ecto simply says with a smile, “wait for me, I’ll be back before you know it!” And Higari is just begging for him to stick to his word and to come back alive.

It’s seeing the sad look on snipes face as he returns and just hugs Higari immediately. No words exchanged yet, but Ecto’s ring just handed to him in a shaky silence. Just imagine that Ecto was caught up in shigarakis explosive quirk moment. And nothing was left but his ring....yeah...Higari sinking to the floor and sobbing. Feeling nothing but pain and emptiness. If you’ve seen this post (sorry to bring these old drawings back they ain’t brilliant but) the last one of PL was inspired by this particular scenario I’m talking about -if you notice the ring 👀 my thoughts immediately going to the imagery of Yuna, unable to see what happened but hearing Higari wailing in despair and knowing, just knowing that something awful had happened and that she’d lost another parent in her life. (Also I can’t- I cannot write Yuna in my angst aaaaa I just cannot put her through anymore suffering and like she’s already lost a loving family and parents once, how would she react to one of EctoLoader dying as well, a family that she’d been accepted into after so many years of being alone- aaaaa I can’t nooooo yuna I am so sorry)

Or Higari finding Ecto as he’s helping evacuate. Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!

Either way, if one of them found the other or had to deal with them dying and stuff, there’s always this picture of (bringing this hc into everything) them gently placing their forehead against the still body that they’re holding in their arms. But this time, only one is able to receive the “I love you” message of the simple action, unable to return it, and only one is able to send their love a last time, knowing that the other is truly gone.

Wow. Guess who’s back in their angsty mood >:)

This was fun and thank you for sending this! I have thought about this a lot before and you made me realise how much I had actually thought about it lmao. I have many other lil headcanons and angsty things for Higari and these two (as I mentioned earlier) if there is anything specific you’d like me to ramble about please let me know I’d be more than happy to!

Thank you again for gloriously ripping my heart out and feeding me with angst! I love it!

~Eclair ❤️

[mooleche]

A Tale of Ink and Venom

A/N - All I gotta say is I’m so sorry to mobile users for this lmao This is a long chapter so I’m posting it at 4AM to try and save people from it’s length.

If you’d like to be tagged for the upcoming chapters lemme know!

Also another big thank you to @leo-writer for reading beforehand. I super, super appreciate it and appreciate YOU!

Chapter Two: Heart to Heart

“No no no, I’m so late!”

I shot out of my room like a bat out of hell, a jumble of keys in one hand and helmet in the other as I took to the morning bustle of the college sidewalks. Outside the scenery was a mixture of many things; remnants of winter slush that spring was finally beginning squash with a faint warm breeze. Not to mention the familiar scent of Brooklynn streets containing the disappointing waft of piss and alcohol it was so well known for. Or maybe I had just grown used to it in the year I had been here. 

I stopped abruptly at a covered up bundle and ripped the cover off hastily to reveal a shiny black Vespa beneath and beamed. Her name was Queen of the Night, Queenie for short, and what she lacked in speed she made up for in aesthetic. She was the last thing my parents had gifted me before I had started college. A way for them to feel at ease about me being on my own, or so they said. I think they just didn’t want me to use door dash on every little thing I needed at all hours of the night. Regardless, she was my pride, my joy, and I was finally able to ride her again after the harsh winter months had kept us separated for so long. 

My thoughts wandered as I got my belongings situated to head to work. About Bambi’s words, the news article, but also the strange group text Bambi’s sister had sent out as I had left:

‘There’s a big bad out. Stay safe.’ 

I wish I could say that wasn’t a normal occurrence for her, but Benni Banks had a knack of sending things just ominous enough to make you extremely suspicious of whatever she was saying. The only thing more suspicious was when she would walk with a startling pace out of our dorm with laptop in arms saying ‘This is fine, this is absolutely fine ’ on repeat. If you knew Benni like we did that usually meant one of her cockamamie hacking attempts had backfired and things were certainly not fine. Despite this, we loved her, even down to the cryptic warnings she sent us while submitting to her insomnia sleeping habits that left us more curious than cautious.

A villain like that could have meant anything. Hell, we had just seen Lizardman take on the town before he stopped on his own accord. A malfunction with the machine he used to keep himself human, or something to that degree. And not a single hero came to help during that situation. I slumped forward at a red light and sighed. Despite New York being a hot zone for superheroes and villains alike, it was apparent that the villains were just becoming too much for them to handle. But that was something I couldn’t begin to think about, because I had arrived to work and there were more pressing matters at hand.

Like how I was about to be reamed for being 20 minutes late.

I stopped in front of an ordinary-looking business building not far off from the campus itself and removed my helmet. My hair fell in loose lazy curls around my face as the braid I had made was all but destroyed. Flecks of blue and black melded over my face as I tried to hastily tie it back into its original style, but failed miserably. Giving up I shoved my hands into my hoodie pockets, listening to the leather of my gloves squeak with discomfort before fishing out a flashy looking access card for the entrance. On one hand, I didn't know why I or anyone else needed one of these. Most of the sections inside of the building were offices doing god knows what. On the other hand, the lower levels were a different story entirely. I waited 3 seconds for the light to flash green before I stepped in, immediately greeted by a security guard I knew simply as Barry who nodded curtly to me as I took to the steps nearby. 

“A little late today, Miss Knight,” I heard him chuckle, fading away as I entered the basement. This was where all of the action happened, a steady hum of electronics and murmurs of people lost in conversations of studies they were working on. Some made brief pleasantries with me as I zipped through the small groups of lab coats huddling to discuss, while others seemed to eye me with disapproval. 

They didn’t matter though. The only person that mattered currently stood hunched over one of many counters in his lab as I watched from the glass window that separated us. I pressed my face against the glass to try to get his attention but he ignored me, making my nerves rise as I stepped within the sliding doors and opened my mouth to apologize.

“You’re late, Knight,” 

I closed my mouth and puffed my cheeks out. He always had a knack of catching me off guard. 

His name was Professor H. D. Renato, a man who I suspect would not reveal his initials to anyone until he was on his death bed. Even then that was being generous. He was a man of science and cleanliness, and the two coincided together nicely in his lab that he kept in pristine shape. It was ordinary for the most part. No colorful beakers, no boiling concoctions of evil ooze to take over the world with. Just a man with incredible dreads hunched over his desk studying something intensely. 

I don’t know how our strange relationship came to be, especially when our first encounter involved him walking in on me attempting to delete student debts with my powers. I was lucky enough at the time that despite the criminal act I was committing he was intrigued by my mutation and wanted to work with me on the promise that I never try a stunt like that again. I was even luckier that I had somehow gotten a job out of it instead of making a call to my parents from the Deans office explaining how I got kicked out of college for trying to show up Robin Hood.

He now turned as if sensing me studying him and folded his arms, dark eyes studying me back with amusement.

“What’s your excuse this time then?”

“Would you believe traffic?”

“I would not,”

“How about saving kids from a burning building?”

“Try again,”

“Fine,” I rolled my eyes, setting my bag down on one of the empty tables taking up the majority of the room. “I got side-tracked talking to the girls,” I admitted before joining him behind his desk to get a glimpse of what his attention had been so caught up on. “Seems I’m not the only one distracted today though, huh?”

“You know me, I always have to see what fresh hell is destroying Brooklynn,” he muttered before turning the laptop to me. “You’ve seen it already, haven’t you?”

“Oh, no. Benni mentioned it before I got here but...” I whispered as I joined him in looking at the screen. The shots of whoever, or whatever it was were blurry. Though, it wasn’t hard to see the giant black humanoid looking creature completely demolishing a group of police vehicles like they were children's toys before the reporter I had seen so many times appeared on the screen. She had the same tense face on as always. Not that I could blame her, I’d look the same way if I were placed in a somewhat dangerous situation like this. And yet, she spoke in a strangely calm tone to give what little information she had on the matter:

" ...suspect is assumed to be a high-level threat that was one of few said to be lost in the recent events of the Ice Box criminal transfer after destruction hit- "

"Hang on, that was months ago. They still haven't found the convicts that escaped?" I asked in surprise. He shook his head in response.

"Apparently not. The majority were assumed dead at the scene of the crime but…” he motioned to the screen again as we watched another brief blurry clip of the creature climb onto one of the surrounding buildings as heavily armored police got involved.

I whistled in response.

“I really don’t think you should go out on deliveries today, Nina…” he admitted after a short pause as he turned to me, folding his arms like he always did when faced with a tough subject. I could only roll my eyes in response.

“Don’t think I’m capable of holding my own?”

“Really? You’re asking me this in a ‘Hangover Hoodie’?”

“Huh?” I asked with a confused frown but realized all too quickly what he was talking about. In my hurry to leave this morning I had shoved a blind hand into my wardrobe and picked out whatever hoodie I could find. Renato now stared at me with disappointed disapproval and sighed. It was no wonder his peers looked at me how they did now.

“I have always had the utmost faith in you, it’s your health I’m concerned about. You know this,”

“How could I forget when that’s all anyone ever talks about?” I answered shortly, watching his expression quickly fade to guilt. I knew he hadn’t meant anything by it, after all, it wasn’t his fault that my body was the frail shell of what it used to be. Like I said, I tried the vigilante lifestyle once. It hit me harder than what I was ready for and now I paid the price. 

The result left me unable to use my powers without intense strain on my body, and a group of family and friends treating me like I was made of glass as a result.

He hovered his hand over my shoulder before reluctantly pulling back. Renato might have been a genius but his social cues were lacking in the compassion department. Or any social department in general for that matter. Instead, he did what he did every time there was an awkward situation and began furiously cleaning his glasses that had been sitting neatly on top of his head. 

“I just...you know I worry. And with your parent's trusting me-”

“What they don’t know won’t hurt them. But also, I’m almost 24, dude. Avoir une certaine foi,” I added with an innocent smile. He was not so taken with it

“You know I don’t speak French,”

“Have some faith,”

“That’s easy for you to say, you don’t have to be the one to deliver the news if something happens,” he responded shortly, striking my own guilt in response. Renato, despite his eagerness to take me under his wing, was still a cautious man. So cautious in fact that he had contacted my parents before solidifying his offer to work with me. They weren’t bad people, probably the farthest thing from that, they were just so overprotective. I couldn’t blame them after the chaotic introduction into parenthood I had given them, especially after being the first mutant in our family. There was just a point where it was too much.

There was a heavy silence between us as we both struggled to find something to say before he sighed and directed my gaze to the packages resting beside the counter.

“Alright, I’m trusting you with this, Nina. You’re lucky we have such a backlog to get through otherwise-”

“Otherwise you wouldn’t allow this, yes I know,” I called as I carefully scooped the boxes up and inspected them curiously as if the blank outer packaging would reveal their secrets.

They did not.

“Be careful with those. I put fragile on there for a reason,” he added as he tapped the large black font with a stern look. As part of his side job he was always cooking up interesting concoctions for his clients, considered the mutant savant by many because of how serious he was to learn how to help us function in everyday society. I had never seen a regular human so dedicated to helping our cause and I wasn’t about to make him regret hiring me to help with it. 

Especially when it meant one day he could help me be myself again.

I scoffed at his words and tiptoed carefully to the exit to avoid more of his harping while I could. “I got it, I got it. Shoot me the addresses?”

“Already in your phone, make sure you get all of the signatures this time, Knight.”

“Yes, dad,” I mocked before shuffling out of the lab, careful to avoid any collisions with anyone out in the hall. Barry held the door open for me like he did every time I came up packed to the gills with boxes and we shared our usual polite nod to one another. 

Ten frustrating minutes of getting everything bundled up tight on Queenie and I was finally off to do the real work of the day. 

-

Being a courier was a fairly easy job. Renato excelled in helping mutants with noticeable mutations by creating temporary serums and little do-dads to aid in his search of making us feel more welcomed in society. Since the clients themselves didn’t usually want to be seen by people other than their kind it was often a quick in and out job. The hardest part was getting to them. Renato may have been science savvy but where he excelled in knowledge he lacked in direction, and it made me ever so thankful for GPS as I rounded the same corner I had been through multiple times in the last 15 minutes.

Thank god these weren’t timed deliveries.

Most of the stops weren’t an issue, usually consisting of an out of the ordinary mutant that just needed some basic supplies. My favorite was a man with red skin and facial hair that rivaled Jack Sparrows. He was charming and straight to the point, and yet his tips were always more than accommodating. His name started with an A but the scribbled signature never revealed the rest.

Others however were... strange. Some left specific instructions in order for me to get confirmation signatures; knock two times on the door to wait for someone to knock back, more than a few required me to face the other way so I couldn’t see them but when I looked back the papers were signed, sometimes tip attached, sometimes other odds and ends. I once received a large quill-like spike as a tip for my efforts. It still sat on my desk to this day.

Before I knew it my final client had come and I rode lazily in the familiar streets of Brooklyn to find the location. His was always my favorite to go to, settled in a small suburb area with people that always seemed to be out and enjoying life without a care in the world. I parked in a vacant area up the street and started towards a cozy-looking home that had seen better days. Not that it was in bad shape, it was just old and in need of some serious case of TLC that its owner was unable to give.

I stopped at the sun stained red door and rang the buzzer once.

No response.

Twice.

Nothing.

“Mr. Lee?” I called, pressing my ear against the door to hear if he was making his way to answer. I was greeted with silence.

I began a hail mary of mashing the buzzer in a last desperate attempt until a soft chuckle interrupted me and I turned. An older man in dark shades sat at a bench nearby and waved to me, beckoning me towards him and I followed.

"Hey! Buongiorno!" he called merrily from his peaceful-looking seat and I laughed softly.

"That's Italian, Mr. Lee. But bonus points for trying,"

"Ah, can't win 'em all I suppose." he chuckled before patting the seat next to him and I obliged, holding his delivery patiently in hand before he smiled warmly and stared forward. 

"Relax a little, something on your mind, kiddo? You seem tense!"

Mr. Lee always had a knack for sensing these types of things. He was one of Renato's oldest clients, and he wasn't even a mutant. Renato just enjoyed this old man's zest for life so much that he helped him with simple tasks and now the occasional french tutoring on the side that I gave him during my trips.

"Ah, no. I mean, kind of..." 

"Go on then, I've got some time," he chuckled as he nudged me playfully.

I sighed sheepishly in response. I couldn’t exactly tell him my life story. He knew bits and pieces of it, but I was still on the fence about revealing my mutation. Instead, I tried to word it rather poorly, tugging at my gloved hands as I struggled to find proper words.

“I just...I want to be something more, y’know? I worked so hard for this...thing when I was younger and now I’m just this...this burnout of a courier wasting away at college!” I started, unable to control the flood of commentary that was spilling out. “I wanted to be like...like Spiderman! Or the Avengers! Something! I have a gift, my friends tell me every day that I have the means to overcome this... this fear of breaking myself again but I know deep down my body can’t take it...that I can’t be this person they think I can be. And now everyone’s just waiting for me to break again like I’m glass! I hate it!”

There was a heavy silence and I snapped out of my stupor, now standing with hands held over my head in what was once frustration. I didn’t even know where all of it had come from. Like I said, Mr. Lee had a strange gift.

I shot them down sheepishly and took to sitting back to a quiet Mr. Lee who’s bushy white mustache seemed to wiggle with thought.

“I’m sorry…” I quietly apologized before he turned to me, brows wrinkling under his shades with a frown plastered on his face.

“Don’t you ever apologize for expressing yourself,” he ordered gently, resting a hand on my shoulder with a small squeeze. “Life is never completely without its challenges. But that’s what keeps it interesting.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah! Listen, kid. I think you should do what your heart is telling you to do, 'cause deep down it knows that you'll do the right thing.”

“You think so?" 

“I know so. I've been in the industry long enough to know a hero when I see one." he chuckled, a warm encouraging smile spreading across his face now. “You can't force these feelings out, kid. It’s got to come from inside of you,” he said while poking his chest proudly. 

"Inside me..." I whispered, looking down at my hands in wonder. I knew what he meant, but what could someone like me feel when I wanted to do these things but couldn't? I knew in my heart of hearts what I wanted.

But would that be enough?

Before I could ponder more he stood and stretched his back, resting his weight on his cane. “Give it some thought, you’ve got time,”

“You’re leaving?”

“You’re not?” he teased before he pointed up to the sky and beamed. “I got a date with the universe soon, kiddo. Can’t keep her waiting.”

“Uh-huh…” was all I could muster as I stood and extended my hand out to him. I didn’t know if he was trying to be funny about his days being numbered or if he genuinely was expecting to travel the universe. Events in Brooklynn made it hard to shoot down either idea and Mr. Lee had a look so believable that for a second I actually believed him. “Well, if I don’t see you for a while...J'espère que tu trouveras ton aventure parmi les étoiles.” 

“Oh?”

“It means ‘I hope you find your adventure among the stars,’”

“Ah! Mer...mer...merci!” he stammered before taking my hand in his and beaming at me, a feeling of pride radiating off of him at his accomplishment. 

“You hang in there, kid. Your own adventure is going to find you soon enough! Remember,” he added, pointing to his chest once more before pointing to me. I nodded and smiled like some solemn promise had just been made between us and in some strange way, it had.

We said our goodbyes shortly after, a broken ‘au revoir’ from Mr. Lee as he sauntered into his home with delivery in hand while I took to Queenie with a little less weight on my shoulders. I was well over the time allotted for the drop-off, but I knew Renato would understand. It was why I always kept his deliveries for last after all, to have deep conversations that always kicked me back on track to the path I truly wanted to be on.

The path that would set things in motion not even an hour later.

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.19 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- WHOA WHOA WHOA WHEN THE FUCK DID THE JONES’ GET A FUCKING SERPENT POOL TABLE??? I know they’re looking for JB but WHAT? Let me guess, since we never see Sweet Pea, he gave that to them as a parting gift or something huh 😪😪😪

- Is Jughead finally gonna snap? Guess that’s a no…

- Archie may have killed him in that ring (even tho the G helped), he can’t be held accountable because it was a boxing match, but knowing the CW’s bitch ass, they’re gonna have him once again be on trail for something that he shouldn’t be on trial for. Why doesn’t this stupid shit ever happen to Jughead or Betty? Archie deserves so much better smh

- Lmao Kurtz basically saying flat out that Gladys is making drugs

- GOD ARCHIE STOP LETTING OTHER PEOPLE RUIN YOUR DREAMS

- YOUR DAD IS A MURDERER JUST LET HIM ROT TWO HOURS AWAY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

- Mad Dog being a real G

- Of course Archie gets caught with drugs… Mad Dog all you had to do was not give him the fucking drugs

- Ah lemme guess Gladys is gonna get the black one and have to reveal that she’s the fucking drug kingpin now. YES FP GO OFFFFFFFFFFFFF

- JOSIE MY FUCKING BABY, MY CINNAMON APPLE! Poor boy tho

- Of course he wants to adopt the babies… even though they’re not Alice’s and it doesn’t make sense at all lol

- Ugh we love Veronica, the one who can do anything. Tell me again why the writers force her into her father’s stupid shitty plot and not make her the main main because she’s literally bad ass, she knows how to do literally everything, and like??? Just HOW

- “check my file… I just might” Betty you’re not allowed but is that going to stop you? Probably not because rules don’t apply to you, apparently smh

- I’m sorry, they’re going tor rob Pop’s? What the fuck is this stupid show?

- Archie, baby, you can’t help everybody 🥺🥺🥺 But yes Veronica, a banquet!!! Ugh queen! Although she also owns pop’s so this is going to be great… I NEED A SCENE WHERE JUGHEAD FORMALLY APOLOGIZES TO VERONICA BUT I KNOW I WON’T GET IT BECAUSE THEN THAT WOULD MEAN JERONICA GETTING SCENES

- Wait who is this woman that Betty is talking to about Evelyn and the cult???

- OH NO JOSIE IS IN POPS NOOOOOOO MY POOR BABY SHE DOESN’T DESERVE THIS!!! Also I’m excited to see Katy Keene because Josie deserves better than this

- THE JONES STILL HAVE THEIR FUCKING SERPENT JACKETS ON????????  YOU STUPID IDIOTS

- Pop’s better sue, but also… that punch Jughead did on Kurtz was low-key hot but I never said that okay

- Oh great, the fucking bunker again, huh?

- Why does Betty’s dad pretend to care about the fucking twins?

- BETTY DO NOT EVER CALL THAT BITCH AUNTIE EVER AGAIN

- There Betty goes manipulating… at least this time it’s against Penelope and for a good cause. But Penelope calling that poor child Jason Junior… get the FUCK OUT

- The… “Riverdale Reaper”? That’s fucking gross, but oddly much more appealing than the Black Hood lol

- I THOUGHT GLADYS WAS SWEET PEA. I GOT EXCITED FOR .1 SECOND

- Jughead when he’s been away from Betty and has his own plot is so nice and refreshing

- wait did Archie just kiss Josie on the lips?! THEY’RE STILL TOGETHER EVEN THOUGH HE’S BEEN MAKING GOOGLY EYES AT VERONICA (ugh) WHAT

- Poor Josie, her dad’s not showing :(((( MY GIRL DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER. Fuck her dad, honestly. Even if he does end up coming

- But he has to give Archie the money… he literally won that lol this was just a way for Archie to be bad ass huh

- We been knew Gladys wouldn’t kill Penny… fucking loser smh lol

- MY GIRL JOSIE GONNA SLAY HER FUCKING SONG, BUT DAMN GLADYS WITH THAT WEAPON THOOOOO

- Jughead since when did you get morals lol too bad your mom doesn’t care lol

- OH HER DAD DID SHOW UP. Some points but he usually disappoints her :(

- Wait I thought we already knew about Evelyn… guess it was me spoiling myself a long time ago on twitter sksksk

- HE INTENDED TO BAIL ON HER NEVER MIND HE LSOT THOSE POINTS

- Ahhhh this is so fucking disgusting. Edgar will NOT be marrying my lesbian Cheryl

- Do they really think that Betty would join them lololol maybe you’re more stupid than I thought… also Kevin and Betty haven’t been best friends in like forever lol

- EW THEY’RE ALL RUNNING AFTER HER AS IF THAT WOULD MAKE HER CHANGE HER MIND LOL AS IF

- This episode has sorta made Jughead a bit better than normal. But they wouldn’t go through all of that just to kill JB lol

- Archosie deserved so much better than this. Also she’s leaving school for this like??? NO YOU DID NOT JUST MAKE JOSIE SAY ENDGAME

- YES JUGHEAD PETITION FOR JB TO STAY WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH SHE’S IN COHORTS WITH YOUR MOM. Poor Jug though he just wants a family, but they’re acting like Jug is perfectly okay with all of this out not nowhere.

- HIRAM JUST LEAVE ARCHIE ALONE FOR FUCKS SAKE NO ONE LIKES THIS FUCKING PLOT.

- Red… Hope? Veronica you’re really bad at names though I love you but it’s true

- I’ll say it again, but Varchie is so much better as friends.

- I like seeing Gladys emotional, it’s very bittersweet.

- Bitch please we all know Hal wouldn’t die that easily… also, again, why does Betty care so much for a fucking MURDERER like??? It doesn’t make sense at all. Confide in your friends, literally anybody else (preferably a therapist) besides him for your trauma with your mother and sister

[thestudyfeels]

Hello There!

Just a note: This is some real important stuff. ONLY read if you have like 10 min at hand. Otherwise, bookmark this and save it for your Sunday afternoon because this is truly about to change your life. No clickbait here, I promise.

I’ll hands down say that this is the most important thing you will read today. And if you, like most people, spend your time alternating between why does my love life suck ass and whining, “ok, but honestly, climbing Everest would be easier than tackling the mountain of homework Miss Honey assigned” then this is surely the most important thing you’ll have ever read in your life.

In fact, if you blindly stumbled upon my blog and wanted to check out what shit I write, let this article be the lucky one.

Get excited (beat your chest like King Kong, play this song and jump up and down like a bunny) because I’m about to change your life. Or not. Most of it depends upon you making the decision to. Alright, I'll get into the juicy stuff soon, Wilma. First hear me out. I’m about to drag your lazy ass out from your broom closet and out into the sun. I’ll make you feel guilty in this post. Not cuddle you or “understand that you are trying.” I won’t tell you that you’re a champ and “dreams are made of roses.” Because you’re not. At least not yet. And not to be a party pooper, but roses have thorns too. Just saying.

Instead, I'll try my hell best to make you realize that you're simply not doing enough. Caught yourself scrolling through your Insta feed when you’re supposed to be writing an essay? Aha!

In the end, I’ll try to get as brutal as brutal can possibly get, because homie? Life isn’t a joke. Stop living like it’s one.

Ok, So What’s This Bubble Anyway?

In the past 6 months, I’ve read a thousand self help books (Or was it 2500? I mean, legit, each tree in the forest had to die). All of them, yes every single one, had one thing in common that was literally being screamed right in your face. GET OUT OF THAT BUBBLE.

In the self help community, the bubble is known by different names - Ego, The Mist, Big Snooze, that old, grouchy librarian in your high school who particularly hates you for no reason. I like to call it the bubble. Bubbles are cute. Except this one.

The bubble is what locks you in a cage of fear, ignorance, negative friends, and everything else that isn’t shiny. It prevents you from seeing how awesome this world is, how powerful you are, the many opportunities that await, and how good it feels to be alive.

The sad part is that even though we are born free, a beautiful bundle of fearlessness and courage, we get trapped in this bubble as we grow older. The even sadder part of the story is that most people spend their entire lifetime in this bubble. They don’t bother with risks, don’t feel that they deserve to be loved, underestimate their potential, never see their dreams as a reality, and prevent others from doing their own damn thing.

They would rather waste their precious time whining about the horrible beans Mrs. Brown is serving in the cafeteria today.

"Why Get Out? I Like Bubbles."

Hon, if you're into bubbles, you've got stockholm syndrome, but trust me, you DO NOT want to be in it.

Don't you want to push past your limiting beliefs, knowing that everything you want to achieve is possible? Then, you’ve got to come out of the bubble. Don’t you want to let go of your fears, rise above them, and learn to commit to your goals? Then, come out of the bubble.Don't you want to shoot for the stars, become successful and leave a legacy behind? Then, GET OUT OF THE BUBBLE. I want you to create the life you want with the belief and drive that your entire life depends on it.

Because guess what? It does.

If you are still reading, it’s probably ‘cause you're realizing you're more lost than Dory was and maybe some parts of your life aren’t looking too good. Or maybe nothing’s going great. You were probably just heading out to look for free beer and this caught your eye. Well, forget the beer and listen up. Let’s get high on life here.

Everything you want is possible. And no, I’m not an astrologer saying things like “Jupiter hates Saturn. Saturn, however, has a crush on Mars. Therefore, now is the time to poop.”

Here, lemme give an example from my life.

Two years ago, I was living a crappy life. I had a bunch of very sucky friends, I was insecure about myself, seeking validation from those sucky friends again, failing at school (and life), and had self-esteem buried deeper than the Mariana Trench.

Two years later, I have two good ol’ homies for whom I can die for (and they for me) and many other friends who are freaking awesome. I am neither insecure about who I am nor do I take no shit from anyone. I’m not afraid to voice my own opinion and I’m killing it, both at school and at life. My GPA has never been higher, and neither has my self-satisfaction level.

So what changed? I still have the same body, the same bad eyesight (lmao) and the same obsession with One Direction. What changed was my perception about myself and what I can achieve.

But how did it change? I’m going to be that author and say, GET OUT OF THE BUBBLE. It's the evil bubble that's doing sneaky shit. It’s what convinces you that what you dream is impossible and you should choose something “sensible”. Basically, society’s opinion in one sentence. Not yours.

Now I ask you. Is this the life you want to live? Ordinary and boring? Doing what your parents want, what society wants, not what you want? Why should society’s opinion matter? Are your fears more important than what you basically breathe, your dream? In the words of John A. Shedd, “A ship in harbor is safe, but that isn't what ships are built for. They have to face the stormy seas.” In the same way, even though you might have to overcome thousands of struggles and doubts on the way to your dream life, you can’t simply give up and be like “Screw that. I’m okay with this babysitting job. I mean babies puking isn’t even that bad. C’mon.” Every human is meant for greatness. It’s honestly time people realize that. Burst out of the bubble already.

Popping The Bubble

So when do people wake up? It’s only when people find themselves in a near-death experience that they wake up transformed, realizing how every moment is valuable, and every day a chance to pursue their passions. They wonder how they could have led such a shit-ass life a week back and take action asap. This is because it’s only in these events that we realise, humans are mortal, and it’s a blessing to be alive.

Annnnd plot twist. Even then, society’s all like, Wtf Shane, are you really going to quit this really comfortable job to start a bakery? What about that bone chilling debt you are in? What about your two children?? Do you even know wtf you’re doing???

Like hello?! Of course Shane knows that! But he would rather live his dream life than die with you whining about the mushy beans at his funeral.

Fortunately, you don’t have to have a near-death experience to flip the tables. It’s all about making the decision to change. Getting out of the bubble is truly all a mental battle. You're either in it, or not, there's no halfway. Once you choose to make a difference in your life, there's no going back.

And as scary and maybe crazy this might sound, trust me when I say this - It is nowhere as bad as you waking up one fine day, realizing that you wasted years upon years, and still haven’t created a life meaningful to you. The regret will crush you. That, not the struggle for success, will break your heart, but then it’ll be too late. Too late to live your dream life, find true love, meet new people, and leave your mark.

Heck, you'll even feel guilty for 'forgetting' to water the plants, mate. I guess you 'forgot' to live your life too.

The only way of popping the bubble is by killing your past, confining beliefs. By truly believing in your dreams and the fact that they will be a reality one day. When we were kids, our innocent minds believed everything. What, a fat, red (possibly a tomato) man is going to drop down the chimney, eat up my Oreo cookies and leave gifts because I've been nice? Why shouldn’t he? That is how I want you to believe in your dreams now. No matter how crazy they are, just believe in them. Don't lose that conviction, don't listen to others. Blind faith, give me that.

Because you see, so many people today end up regretting their lives. They don’t live it when they have the chance, and in the end, they realize that Shane was right. Now he has a multi-million dollar bakery business and they're stuck at the same high school as the janitor.

[ I’ll tell you how to slay every single thing that comes your way in another post (don’t throw those tomatoes at me, lmao) but for now I want you to simply have faith in yourself. It's been known to move mountains. ]

The End Card

So what’s limiting you? Your lame friends? Leave them. Your stupid fears? Forget them. Your doubts? Drop them. Your life awaits, my darling. Make the choice to live it.

Finally! If you’re ready, here, take this pin (I used it to puncture society’s ego) and burst that bubble. Don't let that pin give this crazy adventure called life a flat tire.

Hopefully, this changed your life. I would like to end with a warning - The worst mistake a person can make is by delaying the good stuff. These are the people who end up with the most regrets. They say they’ll workout when they get done with this big project. They will change their lives radically when they have time, love more and become a better human tomorrow. That’s bullshit in its purest form. You’ll find them making the same excuses the next day.

Point is, time waits for no one. It’s flying by. Your life is happening right now. Tomorrow will be no different. So take action now. Sooner or later, you’ll find yourself as a 50 year old grandma, regretting the opportunities you missed out on, if you don’t give your all today. Is there something you’ve been wanting to do since Ice Age? Start on it today. Now is the time. One last thing. At the end of your life, the only person you’ll be accountable to you will be you. So be sure, be very goddamn sure, to live true to yourself.

I’ll be here cheering for you the loudest.

want to read more? view the other masterposts in the series “get your shit together, you are here to conquer.” :-

general tips for getting your shit together

loving yourself and letting go of negativity

understanding the meaning of your life

taking control of your life: a 3 part series (click here to view)

Well, it’s a wrap! I post new articles every week (the schedule’s up on my blog’s front page) so you can follow me if you are interested in killing the game & conquering life bc I’ll do my best to help you in the tough yet amazing journey called life.

If you want to go thru my blog, I would rec picking your choice of post from my masterpost list! Or, if you want to read something insightful on your cozy Sunday afternoon while chilling under ‘em blankets, I would rec reading one of my interviews. Feeling spoilt for choices? Here’s another! If you want to implement the ideas I share in my masterposts by taking action - take on one of my challenges! + you can also request a blog post! For that, leave your question in my ask box!

I hope you are well, stay strong and conquer life, you conqueror.

- nandini (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

[i-want-to-be-manhandled]

more trans ramblings (tramblings?) - to T or not to T, that is the question

so i’m writing this so i have some thoughts to show my therapist next week instead of scouring my brain for them but im posting it on the internet instead of keeping it in a word document or some shit cause i need some of y’all to relate and i’m already way too personal on here anyways. and also at this point this is my personal blog too, i’ve given up entirely on keeping it just for video games. tl;dr: please tell me i am not the only one with stupid amounts of doubt going against the stupid amounts of evidence that i am very transgender. 

tw: long post, doubts, testosterone/hrt effects discussed in detail, (don’t read this if you know me irl and haven’t personally talked with me about being trans? otherwise go ahead), nsfw cause we’re talking about genitals but mostly towards the end of the second to last paragraph (i’ll strike the nsfw stuff), mention of rape but no discussion of it happening, lemme know if i missed anything

so as my last transpost said im very excited for my hysto that im nowhere near getting but im flip-flopping as to whether or not i want to go on t. i know i can get it fairly quickly if i decide i do want it. there’s a trans health clinic in walking distance from where i am moving in 23 days, i have 3 therapists who will write me a letter of recommendation for testosterone, and my mother even found me the trans health clinic so she’ll try to find me somewhere else to go if they don’t take me in for some reason. (having a supportive mom is great i don’t miss her crying about how hard it is to have a trans kid in january and february.) and i’ve looked thoroughly at the effects of testosterone and have sorted them into pros, neutrals, and cons. (posting it here again mostly bc i need to do it but i also need some of yall to relate and/or validate me and/or answer my weird questions)

pros:

voice drop. im so tired of having a squeaky voice which is exacerbated by me always being anxious, and my sister has a deeper voice than me and always tries to sing ridiculously low parts to stretch it for some reason which makes me feel insecure. and apparently my voice is “always squeaky” according to my dad and like? shit man i pass until i talk that’s just the tea. 

i dont even care if i have a super deep voice, i actually think i’d rather be a solid tenor because that’s the vocal range of most of my favorite songs, but i want to sound like a man when i talk and not an 8 year old girl

side note apparently a lot of trans guys have male “internal voices” but mine just sounds like how i sound when i talk because i’m a very literal person and that’s why it took me forever to figure out i was trans and not having a male internal voice makes me dysphoric sometimes and even doubt that i’m trans at all... that’s dumb af i know it’s just my literal personality type not me actually being a girl

more muscle. i dont work out as it is right now but if i knew i’d see results the way i want them then i probably would. also im getting ripped during the school year anyways bc i walk everywhere with a 15-20 pound backpack strapped to me so i’m at least gonna look semi muscular which is what i want anyways. please give me strength quite literally i can barely lift bro

bottom growth. ik it’s still not going to be ~enough~ or whatever but i’d have... something? that would be nice. 

side note would packers start to be uncomfortable with something there bc i wonder about that sometimes. not that mine is super uncomfortable now or anything (i just haven’t figured out how to make it sit right) but i wonder about that

NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS

if im one of those guys whose periods dont stop on t i am actually going to perform a hysto on myself

fat shifting from hips, thighs and butt to my stomach. i don’t care if i have stomach chub or not, but i DO care that my hips are Like That and my things are Really Girly and i have a fucking Girl Butt TM like please just let me Not Have These Problems

having a more angular face. doesn’t happen to everyone per se but because of my facial structure as it is and also what my dad looked like when he was my age, i probably will get this change. i have actively wished for this since i was 13 and didn’t even know dysphoria was a word. hopefully it makes my lips a little thinner too or at least more masculine.

veins becoming more prominent. i have this one pic of me where it looks like i have Guy Arms and i just wanna look like that all the time ya know

lookin like a dude and passing? that counts right

neutrals:

facial hair. i know a lot of trans guys want this but i’ve never wanted one. i just want a jawline to cut a bitch tbh i’m never having more than stubble except the beard imma wear to my high school reunion

body hair. this is more of a pro-neutral ig bc i want it on my arms and legs but would prefer not to have a lot on my chest and stomach. fortunately i dont think my dad has a whole lot but i’m a pretty hairy afab person as it is i just dont wanna be a werewolf lmao

hair loss at temples. i just don’t care about my hairline enough for this to really bother me. maybe i will when it happens but *shrug*

scents of sweat/bo/urine changing? idk i feel like it will be weird, maybe gross if it turns out bad but honestly i don’t really care what i smell like as long as i don’t smell like a dumpster fire? i shower it’s fine lmao

rougher skin? i dont know if i’d like having rougher skin but i also dont like being an uwu soft boi so

acne. nobody wants it but like... i already have stress-acne right now and don’t really give a shit because i hate how my face looks anyways. not that i want a fuckton of acne because nobody does but im not gonna cry myself to sleep over it ya feel? it’s an annoyance but not really a con

cons:

increase in sex drive. not to be nsfw but masturbating is a chore as it is. it hasn’t been fun since i realized i had crippling bottom dysphoria and even then i can’t get off unless i’m completely distracted from my body (either through porn or being too tired to care). also i have like a 2% chance of ever having a partner so i really dont wanna have to deal with having the sex drive of a 12 year old boy when im 19, single, depressed, and dysphoric. im not even asexual but this is the worst con

emotional changes. yall know at this point i dont have the best temper, and i dont want t to exacerbate that. now, some of my friends have said that t has made them much calmer and actually less irritable, but the rest of my friends said t makes them angry. i have poor anger management and i know it. i don’t need it made worse. it’ll fuck my life up for real

increase in appetite. listen i have gastritis, ibs and acid reflux i cannot afford to be needing to eat more than i currently do

so as yall can see i have a fair number of all 3: 8 pros, 6 neutrals, and 3 cons. and what’s more, all of the cons are things that don’t have anything to do with my appearance (which my therapist and i noticed during our session a couple weeks ago and really made me think i should go on t). so then the answer should be clear: i should go on t, right? deal with having a fucked high sex drive and be pissed off because of it but finally be able to see my reflection in the mirror. so it should be obvious. what the hell am i waiting for?

the main reason i’m hesitant is i’m afraid i’ll want to detransition. even though i KNOW it rarely happens and the women who do thought they were trans because of unaddressed traumas relating to being female or have a personality disorder. i have neither of those things: the only female-related trauma i have is being slut shamed by my mom for wearing tank tops and any shirt that wasn’t a crew neck and one guy saying he’d rape me in 9th grade because he thought rape and sex were the same thing (for his sake i hope he’s grown the fuck up!! i’m not traumatized from this i just made my teacher not let him sit next to me in class and told him to stop talking to me. sadly this is the most sexual attention i’ve ever gotten), and the only mental illnesses i have are depression and anxiety (unless we’re counting dysphoria, which i definitely have). i also sometimes feel like i discovered it too late: i didn’t say “i’m not a girl” until i was 14, refused to explore my gender until i was 17, and didn’t fully accept i was trans until i was 18. and other dumb shit: i never tried to pee standing up so im not really trans even though i didn’t know what a penis was until i was like 9, ive caught myself twice recently wishing for longer hair which made me feel feminine and gross and dysphoric (even though i know hair length =/= gender??), and im not in danger of suicide if i don’t get testosterone and top surgery RiGhT nOw. the prospect of me detransitioning isn’t likely, when you look at all the facts, but the prospect makes me anxious because everything makes me anxious. i am the poster boy for anxiety. and yes, i know i would have said that even when i accepted that i was technically the poster girl but i would have said poster boy anyways because it was “gender neutral” and didn’t rub me the wrong way like poster girl would have. same reason i insisted on being a dude instead of dudette and only described myself with words that didn’t have a female equivalent in french class even if it wasn’t true. so what the hell am i waiting for.

like i know i shouldn’t be doubting at this point because it’s so, so obvious that i’m trans. just because i didn’t try to pee standing up when i was little or ask why i didn’t have a penis doesn’t mean i’m not a guy. i logically know this. like when i was 11 and i insisted to myself i had a male brain but knew i shouldn’t say that out loud because that was weird and i wanted to be a normal girl who didn’t have a weird male brain, and when i was 7 and at my friend sarah’s house and her room was super pink and girly and i literally thought the sentence “is this what i’m supposed to be like?” and when i was 14 and cut my hair into the Typical Queer Girl Pixie Cut and my hair was just??? gone like i wanted it to be when i was 9 and ended up with a bowl cut instead, and instead of looking in the mirror and thinking i looked like an owl when i was 9 i smiled at how “androgynous” (masculine) i looked, and when i was 11 and only hung out with boys at summer camp and they treated me like one of them and the girls were really mean to me but it was the best summer i’d ever had, and when i was 15 and my friend chris joked that i was the “guy” in my lesbian relationship and i was so fucking happy, and when i was 15 and starving myself because i loved my “angular” figure and jaw,  and when i was 16 and wearing a dress to winter formal because my ex met me in one and i wanted to be cute for him but i picked the dress that looked like a suit because it looked very “queer” (masculine), and when i was 14 and literally went “hmmm im gonna bind my chest just because i wanna know what it would look like” and it made me so euphoric and i knew in that instant i wasn’t a girl but repressed it for 3+ years because dealing with it would just be too hard, and when i was 11 and knew it was going to be my last day going to school without a bra on and just being so ashamed even though i wanted breasts so i’d be a normal girl, and when i was 16 and wearing that backwards snapback all the time and my friend said it was what tops did and i was so happy that nobody would consider me a bottom or whatever stupid shit because i couldn’t imagine myself being penetrated ever in my cisgender gay life, and when i was 16-17 and scouring the lesbian section of pornhub for pov/strap-on videos bc i wanted to know what it would look like to fuck a girl with a dick without watching straight porn because i’m 100% a gay female because the word lesbian is too girly im not a trans guy or anything haha, and when i was 14-and-onwards wondering why it felt so empty between my legs and why it felt like i was supposed to have a dick lmao im totally a girl though haha, and when i was 15 and had to google how to masturbate bc i couldn’t figure it out naturally and still felt like i was doing it wrong, and when i was 15 and looked at my vagina in the pocket mirror i got from selling like 30 boxes of girl scout cookies in 2007 and my first thought was “that is not my body,” and when i was 16 and actually very upset that i couldn’t ejaculate when i orgasmed. trans who? what the fucking hell am i waiting for

seriously. i was 7 and looking at my 2nd grade yearbook photo thinking “that doesn’t look like me,” and i was 13 and looking in the mirror saying “that doesn’t look like me,” and i went through all of my adolescence waiting for “puberty to turn me into a girl” and then i was 17 and done with puberty and crying because my body was still wrong. i can’t believe how hard i tried throughout my whole adolescence to be some facet of “normal girl” so i wouldn’t get bullied and be dateless forever and thinking “puberty hasn’t turned me into a girl yet” and not stopping to think about what i was if i wasn’t a girl until puberty was done, i realized it wasn’t going to happen, and it was too damn late for me. now i’m 19 and don’t leave the house without either a binder or a sports bra/baggy layers combo and i’d wear my packer everywhere if i could figure out how to get it to sit right (and also get it past my parents lmao).  like if anyone else rattled off that list of trans shit i wouldn’t question them for a second. but because it’s me and i’m like “what if i’m transwashing my memories? what if i’m gaslighting myself?” i’m still not on testosterone and please validate me. tell me other trans people doubt themselves, no matter how obvious it is that they’re trans. tell me it’s okay to doubt hrt, even though you know it will be so much more likely to help you. tell me it’s okay to be afraid of detransitioning, even though it’s okay if i DO decide to detransition and it’s so unlikely anyways considering all the evidence of Me Not Being A Fucking Girl.

if you read this all the way to the end here’s an awkward hug and some brain bleach im not even drunk or high i can’t even blame substances for this behavior 

[shelbymadden14]

1-91

1:When did you lose your virginity? uhmmm 18

2: Rough sex or soft sex? it depends on my mood, but soft sex is so cute & wholesome with the right person.

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes? uhm? i like stomachs 😂

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex? oh lord. uhm, next to a closed business & we definitely got caught.

5: Favourite sex position? doggy buuut recently switched to 69 😏

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive? dominant yassss

7: Have you ever had any one night stands? nope

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor? bed

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place? yess 🤤 my fav.

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating? nope

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like? i wear boxers so maybe the tighter ones.

12: How often do you have sex? never now 😂 but if i’m with someone, atleast daily 😂

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with? absolutely

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex? giving but again, recently receiving has been great 🤤

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex? i was moving a pillow to cover my face & smacked her in the head with it 😂

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex? either skin by rihanna or all we do by trey songz

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? naked by russ

18: Are you into dressing up for sex? never done it but i think i’d like it

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower? ooo that’s hard. probably bath. that was great.

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be? oh shit. i can’t put her on blast, but she’s the last girl i had sex with. & it was on October 16th so she knows who she is 😏

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you? no but i would.

22: Do you/would you use sex toys? absolutely.

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture? absolutely

24: Would you have sex with your best friend? no

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink) definitely eat 😂

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny? whispering in my ear 🙄

27: Early morning sex or late night sex? late night

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex? eww

29: Favourite body part on the same sex? stomach 😂

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: i mean.. probably a toy or two but i don’t care if it’s found lmao

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you: i’ve had not so good sex. but not weird.

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?] have you ever had a girl go down on you then kiss you? it’s the best.

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: do whatever i don’t care

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: chocolate covered strawberries because i mean cmon

35: Worst possible time to get horny: at work but low key like it

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? absolutely

37: How much fapping is too much fapping: the limit does not exist

38: Best sexual complement you ever got: “have you gone down on someone before because...wow” 😳😏

39: Favorite foreplay activities: definitely teasing

40: What do you wear to bed? boxers

41: When was the first time you masturbated: shoot idk

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? shore do

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? i’ve never but i would

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public? yesh

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome? no but i would

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? ? 😂

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not? i used to watch lesbian because like i was curious & a baby gay

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not) duh, it hits different

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? YESSSS lemme kiss those 😍

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? i like being a lil teacher so 😏

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? whip cream because it’s so damn sticky

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? pornstar for sure

53: Do you watch porn? not really

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? nope

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? no

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? it’s happened before but i prefer it to be shaved

57: If you could give yourself head, would you? duh

58: Booty or Boobs? booty always

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) sad question. asshole. yes because i was a piece of shit

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do? helicopter that hoe, pee standing up, jack off for sure, probably have sex because like why not, get head.

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate? yes

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate? yes

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed? yes hate when that happens

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate) toys on my prostate. sike lil bullet on the clit 👍🏼

65. What is your bra/penis size? atleast a fingers length 😏

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus? a finger attached to a piece of shit human

67. When was the last time you masturbated? probably a couple weeks ago

68. When was the last time you had sex? october 16th 🙄

69. When was the last time you watched porn? when i showed someone my favorite porn while at the park 😂

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do? yes. i couldn’t tell you the last time. i should update. i did win one recently. i really just want a strap on 😂

71. Guys:Circumsized? definitely

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched? my ears

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched? the nips always

74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation? i wish

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr? no

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream? week ago?

77. Which wet dream was your favorite? the kind where i cum then wake up.

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with? uhm. no? but then again i guess the loml & i are technically just friends so yes with her😏

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? duh. demi.

80. Favorite sexual position? i already answered this. sooo 69

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? never happened. so

82. Are you into any BDSM? yesh

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why? uh weird question idk

84. Do you like dirty talk? yessss

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation? loud as hell.

86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what? yes 😩 my little brother was banging on the door

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch? guy & girl idk why 😂

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them? yessss

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them? yes 😏 don’t tell her

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them? no i haven’t

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial? nope. i couldn’t do that.

[maergo]

All texts for Jong and Binnie. ((Binch watch me take YEARS to make those happen

//listen imma sit here, read it in 5 years and remember it slowly bc i’ll forget about it LMAO

esteban to janghyan

🌻 a worried text.[text → kem janghyan]  are u ok? u haven’t complained to me about things in like 2 seconds, don’t tell me things are going good now bc i will get nervous and think someone stole your phone or smth

🐰 a goofy text.[text → kem janghyan] i won a monkey stuffed animal today huehuehue

🦋 a loving text. [text → kem janghyan] ur the greatest fructose son

🧦 a half-asleep text.[text → kem janghyan] mmmmight fall asl–

🌳 a happy text.[text → kem janghyan] I JUST PUT A TINY HAT ON MY TARANTULA THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER

🍎 an apologetic text. [text → kem janghyan] im sorry for how bad i am at friendships

⚠️ a text meant for someone else.[text → kem janghyan] i’ll kidnap your child if you do that

🕰️ an early morning text.[text → kem janghyan]  goooood morning im ready to not live this day

💫 a late night text.[text → kem janghyan] ARE YOU AWAKE

🗑️ a text that wasn’t sent.[text → kem janghyan] i might’ve bought a shirt with ur face on it to promote your face

💡 a scared text.[text → kem janghyan] kinda feel like i’m never gonna be good enough and that i’ll be left sooner or later

💀 an urgent text.[text → kem janghyan] JANGHYAN PLS ANSWER YOUR PHONE THIS IS I M P O R T A N T 

🥇 a supportive text.[text → kem janghyan] i’ll be the first in line next time you’ll release an album!!

🔪 a hateful text. [text → kem janghyan] i just stepped in water while wearing socks and i hate everything bc of this

🌊 a sad text.[text → kem janghyan] today ain’t it and i can’t get myself out of bed

⚡ an angry text.[text → kem janghyan] this bitch tried to steal my cat, got so mad i hit her in the face 

🚀 a goodbye text.[text → kem janghyan] will you keep a good eye on z and make sure he doesn’t do anything crazy?

hyunnie to binnie

🌻 a worried text.[text → binnie] ARE YOU ALIVE???

🐰 a goofy text.[text → binnie] UR A BOOB

🦋 a loving text. [text → binnie]

🧦 a half-asleep text.[text → binnie] 9pm morning sounds foos

🌳 a happy text.[text → binnie] OK SO I PURCHASED TWO ONESIES AND THEY ARRIVED!!! YOU NEEDA COME OVER TO WE CAN WEAR THEM AND BE COMFY

🍎 an apologetic text.[text → binnie] scuse me for my lack of friendness i’ve been caught up in this stupid game

⚠️ a text meant for someone else.[text → binnie] {photo attached of a dickpic tbh} WOW FUCK SORRY THAT WAS NOT MEANT FOR YOU

🕰️ an early morning text.[text → binnie] RISE AND SHINEEEEE just kidding keep sleeping, imma go back to sleep too bc it’s like 9am and that is not the time to be awake already

💫 a late night text.[text → binnie] GO. SLEEP.  YOU LOOKED TIRED TODAY

🗑️ a text that wasn’t sent.[text → binnie] wanna netflix and chill? and then i mean actually chill 

💡 a scared text.[text → binnie] …someone shot a gun and ever since it’s been dead quiet here

💀 an urgent text.[text → binnie] {photo attached of two pairs of shoes} LEFT OR RIGHT?

🥇 a supportive text.[text → binnie] GO DO IT BINNIE. YOU CAN DO IT!! I BELIEVE IN YOU

🔪 a hateful text. [text → binnie] carrots are so fucking annoying and orange it’s not okay

🌊 a sad text.[text → binnie] :

⚡ an angry text.[text → binnie] i just traveled an hour by train for this game they’d only sell at one specific store only to be told that i was a day too early. then i showed them the receipts of that it’s supposed to be sold today already i got kicked out, so now i wasted a lot of time, some money and my will to even buy that game anymore

🚀 a goodbye text.[text → binnie] I’LL BE BACK BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, JUST LEMME DO MY THING IN MURICA FOR A WHILE AND THEN I’LL RETURN OK??? DON’T MISS ME TOO MUCH

[seraphichan]

Oligopsony/Deem

(the single dads/pining!levi/spelling bee au that no one asked for, but here you go anyway lmao)

~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re word is…‘oligopsony’.“

"Uh…” Isabel says, uncertainty on her face.

What the fuck.

They hadn’t studied anything like this. Levi isn’t even sure what it means, let alone how to begin spelling it.

“Uh,” Isabel says again.

Come on, Izzy. If you don’t know it right away, buy yourself time.

“Can you use it in a sentence?”

Good girl.

Levi sighs in relief. Maybe they didn’t go over all the words she needed, but damn if he didn’t drive home that particular trick.

“Under the crude oil export ban, domestic refineries were granted an oligopsony.”

How fucking unhelpful.

“Can I have the definition?”

“It is defined as ‘a market situation in which each of a few buyers exerts a disproportionate influence on the market’.”

What a useless word for a nine year old to know.

"Oligopsony…” she begins after a few moments, squinting into the crowd.

She’s done it every time. Levi assumes it’s her way of focusing, and considering she’s gotten all the words correct and has made it to the final round, it works.

“…O-L-I-G-O…P-S…O-N-I! Oligopsony!“

She smiles proudly at the end, but Levi can feel it. The air is too tense. She got it wrong.

“That is…incorrect.”

Her eyes widen in shock.

“What?! But Farlan’s been right all afternoon!” she shouts into the microphone as she points out into the audience. The crowd in the gymnasium starts to murmur and she seems to realize her mistake because she retracts her hand to cover her mouth. “Oops.”

A boy shoots up from his seat in the second row and tries to take off, but he is swiftly grabbed by the man seated next to him and thrown over his shoulder to protests of “Dad, lemme go!” and “Put me down!” as they proceed to the hallway.

Levi himself stands and crooks his finger at Isabel. She bows her head and moves away from the microphone, takes shuffling steps after him.

By the time they get to the hallway outside the gym, Farlan is back on his feet, arms folded over his chest and lips curved down into a frown. His face is red, and Levi imagines it’s from the embarrassment of having his father tote him out of the room like a duffel bag rather than being caught at cheating.

Levi directs Isabel to stand next to Farlan as he goes to stand next to Farlan’s dad.

‘Eyebrows’ Levi calls him in his head, or ‘fucker with the perfect jaw’ when he’s feeling saucy, but his actual name is–

“Erwin,” he says.

“Levi,” Erwin greets back.

They stand there and let the two in front of them squirm a little bit before Levi opens his mouth.

“So,” he begins.

“Mr. Ackerman, Mr. Smith!”

And is promptly interrupted.

Levi turns his head to the source of the voice and grimaces.

Ms. Lancaster.

She’s old school, one of those ‘slap them on the wrist with a ruler’ types. Isabel learns differently, and Levi has tried to explain this many times, but teacher - and he uses the term loosely - knows best. So if Isabel doesn’t get something right away, she gets bad marks and a letter home about discipline in the classroom instead of the patience and attention she deserves. This woman has deemed Isabel a lost cause without even trying, and Levi hates her for it.

“What?” Levi asks gruffly and she bristles at his tone.

“I’ll have you both know we don’t tolerate cheating in this school!”

“It’s just a spelling bee. For a cheap plastic trophy,” Levi scoffs.

“It’s an indignity to the other students, Mr. Ackerman. For them to have put so much time and effort into this endeavor, and then to have this–” she gestures to Isabel “–come in and soil all their hard work is just inconsiderate.”

This time Levi is the one that bristles.

“Listen here, you bi–”

“Now now,” Erwin speaks up, hand going to Levi’s shoulder to kept him from continuing, “as their parents I assure you we understand the gravity of the situation, and the injustice of their actions in regards to the other participants. If you allow us, I’m sure we can explain it to them and deliver an appropriate punishment as well."

“Well, I,” she hems, caught off-guard by Erwin’s eloquence.

Erwin flashes her an appeasing smile.

“I suppose that is acceptable. Yes.”

“Thank you, Ms. Lancaster. We will make certain it won’t happen again.”

She nods, seemingly satisfied, and walks briskly back into the gymnasium. As soon as the door shuts behind her, Levi can feel the tension leaving his shoulders, one of which still has Erwin’s hand on it. A hand he doesn’t plan to shake off.

He turns his attention to back Isabel and Farlan, addressing Isabel when he speaks.

“I should have been suspicious when you got opossum right. You never remember the ‘o’.”

“Don’t be mad at her, it was my idea!” Farlan pipes up.

“Oh?” Erwin intones. “And what idea was that?”

“Sign language,” Farlan states as if it’s obvious.

“Farlan taught me during recess.”

They lapse into silence and then Erwin laughs.

“How clever!” Despite what he said to the teacher, he doesn’t seem displeased at all with Farlan and Isabel, and Levi is glad. He thinks it was pretty clever of them, too.

“So let me get this straight,” Levi says. “You took the time to learn the alphabet in sign language so Farlan could give you the answers instead of learning the actual words?”

“Didn’t need to know the words if Farlan knew them already,” Isabel answers.

“Uh huh…so if you two wanted to win, why didn’t Farlan just enter the spelling bee in the first place?”

“Izzy wanted to impress you.”

“Farlan!” Isabel says, cheeks lighting up.

“Impress me?”

Isabel nods and scuffs her shoes on the floor. “I’m not very good at school, so I thought if I got a big trophy for something you’d be happy…but I didn’t win.”

Levi goes quiet. He has the most precious daughter in the world, and anyone that would dare to say different could fight him.

“You learned sign language,” Levi says after a few moments. “I think that’s pretty impressive.”

“…Really?”

“Really. So I think I’ll forgive you. On one condition.”

Isabel looks up at him with bright, curious eyes.

“You have to teach me, too.”

“Okay!” She bounces forward and hugs his legs.

Levi pats her on the top of her head affectionately.

“So what went wrong?” Erwin asks. “You were doing so well.”

“I missed his thumb for the ‘y’. Sorry, Farlan,” she says looking at him guiltily.

Farlan shrugs. “That word was dumb anyway.”

Levi snorts in agreement.

“Well,” Erwin says, clapping his hands together, and Levi tries not to miss his touch. “Now that we’ve sorted that out, how about we leave this stuffy gymnasium and have an early dinner.”

Isabel and Farlan cheer, and scamper down the hall laughing and whooping.

“Appropriate punishment, huh?”

“What would you suggest?”

“Skip dinner, go right to dessert.”

Erwin chuckles. “I don’t think they would object.”

“Thanks by the way,” Levi says as they start down the hallway after the two, “for stopping me earlier.”

“Farlan struggles in her class as well. The other parents aren’t really fond of her either.”

“Why haven’t they made her retire then?”

“Rumor in the PTA,” he begins, lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “is she haunts the school, lives in the janitor’s closet at night, and the only way to get rid of her is to exorcise the entire building.”

“Makes sense. She is a demon.”

Erwin nods gravely. “Unfortunately we don’t have the funds to hire someone to expel her,” he sighs dramatically.

“Very unfortunate.”

They both laugh.

“Hey, hurry up!” Farlan calls.

“Yeah, yeah we’re coming,” Levi says.

“You know, Farlan talks about Isabel all the time. Perhaps you two should come over.”

“It’s a date,” Levi says without thinking. “Oh, uh, I didn’t mean–”

“It’s a date,” Erwin repeats with a grin.

Fucker with the perfect jaw Levi thinks, trying to keep the blush from his face.

And failing miserably if the growing smile on Erwin’s lips is anything to go by.

[secretariatbourgeoisophobe]

i got myself tagged by @ilyatath​ and @fmlforeverwrites​ and its taken me so long to do this bc im trash but hye ho here i am!!!

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people. yeah im not even gonna get close to 20 people and i have a feeling that some of you have already done this but oh well @asharadaynes​ @tooextremeforlouisiana​ @aaron-burrsir​ @kreacherwrites​ @kryptxns​ @opalcscent​ @beccabec876​ @mynameismelodypond​ and if any of y’all who ain’t tagged wanna do this then be my guest

the last

1. drink: strawberry and kiwi squash which honestly tastes a surprising amount like nondescript punch

2. phone call: i don’t make phone calls but i guess when my auntie called last week to check one of the boxes she was storing here??????

3. text message: last general message was to an rp partner this morning lmao bc i wanted to hurt her w ship inspo

4. song you listened to: lost boy by ruth b i think????

5. time you cried: months ago idk like it could legit be 2 or 18 months ago i have no idea

6. dated someone twice: u presume me to have dated someone once

7. kissed someone and regretted it: regret can be avoided if u never do the thing in the first place

8. been cheated on: u can’t get cheated on if u never dated in the first place

9. lost someone special: as long as ghosting on friends doesn’t count then this is a hard no

10. been depressed: yeaaaahhhhh the apathy’s still w me even outside of the severe episodes

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: surprisingly enough ive never actually reached this point before even beer olympics wasnt as dicey as id expected

3 favourite colours

12. dark reds (like burgundy, maroon or crimson)

13. black like my soul

14. idek black and red or my go to faves maybe dark purples/blues??????

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: yeah yeah yeah going to america kinda meant i had to lmao

16. fallen out of love: im gonna say no but this is a massive probably

17. laughed until you cried: i dont think so????? but idk maybe

18. found out someone was talking about you: nah i dont think so im too boring to be talked about

19. met someone who changed you: im gonna say yeah, im probs gonna say this a lot but going to america was hella good and it was p hard not to be changed by all the stuff over there

20. found out who your friends are: sorta yes sorta no idk let me be a cryptid in peace

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: i. have. never. been. kissed.

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them i think idk i should probs clear some of those dicks out

23. do you have any pets: unfortunately no but i want a fucking cat when im older

24. do you want to change your name: not really nah. it’s basic but its mine and i kinda like it but if u use the wrong form of my name for our friendship level then i will feel uncomfy

25. what did you do for your last birthday: packed up all my shit then chilled w my friends and played mario kart

26. what time did you wake up: around 9 i think???? i dont do well w remembering shit

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: im p sure i was sorting out my inventory in da:i, idk i was deffo doing inquisition shit then

28. name something you can’t wait for: the last jedi to come out. gimme fucking force sensitive finn!!! make jedistormpilot canon u cowards!!!!!

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: an hour or so ago. she’s around and hovering and i just want her to go

31. what are you listening to right now:  the goldbergs is on in the background rn but im not actively paying attention

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i mean it felt like there were three dozen different toms back at school so yeah

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my parent’s constantly hanging around, the dread thought that my sister is coming home in around an week and i will get no peace

34. most visited website: this blue hellsite

35. hair colour: brown

36. long or short hair: it’s kinda long but it really doesn’t look like it lmao

37. do you have a crush on someone: not really?????? idk emotions are weird fucking things

38. what do you like about yourself: i mean i tend to refuse to back down on most things so i guess dedication is a way to make that sound positive??????

39. piercings: honestly i dont think i could ever get a piercing they weird me out for myself they say as they have a tattoo and are planning like half a dozen more

40. blood type: o+ which i guess is a pretty versatile type

41. nickname: no-one actually calls me this but my fave for me would just be d. the single letter by itself. and it absolutely has to be in lowercase people do also often call me dan and sometimes danny but none of them are at the right friend level and it is a Bad

42. relationship status: single as a pringle for 20 solitary years

43. zodiac: taurus. i was also born in the year of the ox so rip anyone who tries to argue w me

44. pronouns: they/them pls n thnx

45. favourite tv show: i watch like a million different shows and they are all trash but rn my fave is probs coach trip and i hate that most u have never seen it and dont know how much fun it is

46. tattoos: i got a geometric heart on my chest and im planning so many more pls message me about it so i can gush about it to someone

47. right or left handed: right like any good god-fearing person who is not influenced by the devil and witchcraft

48. surgery: ive never had surgery myself and i hope i never will (unless it’s for organ donation)

50. sport: i row, not well but to a vaguely competitive standard and i enjoy it even though my hands are llike permanently callused now

51. vacation: my last one was to boston for a week after the academic year ended but going to mexico over easter was gr9 too

52. pair of trainers: if we’re talking actual proper trainers then  ive only got one pair from decathlon but i do have some hella nice vans which i got for p cheap

GENERAL

53. eating: food is good. and not to be stereotypical but chicken is the best. esp rice and peas and chicken. also carbs. there is no such things as too much carbs. the media is lying to you

54. drinking: rum. it might be a bad thing that my first thought was to go to alcohol but idc im a mess

55. I’m about to: idk probs play some more inquisition

56. waiting for: my motivation to return from the war?????? to finish studying so i can move out of my parents’ house and steadily become the family’s queer cryptid

57. want: my parents to shut up and leave me alone. not gonna happen tho

58. get married: yes ofc i do im a fucking romantic mess bicth lemme indulge my fantasies

59. career: philosopher lmao. i get paid to sit around and bullshit all day what could be better

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: ofc hugs are better lmao they’re just like !!!!! hug me all day idc

61. lips or eyes: eyes ofc, eyes are soft and pure. gimme those fucking eyes

62. shorter or taller: honestly i love me a good height difference either way but like ideally she’d be taller but im like 6′0 on a good day and i have to keep reminding myself that’s kinda tol so taller is unlikely rip me

63. older or younger: idgaf tbh but im amongst the youngest most of the places i go so younger would be nice i guess lmao

64. nice arms or nice stomach: umm idk both are nice and give good #aesthetics but i gotta agree w ilyatath and say goodlegs are the best plus good legs basically ensure a good ass

65. hookup or relationship: i told u im a fucking romantic gimme them sweet ass relationships. make me know that im special and important to u

66. troublemaker or hesitant: honestly hesitant but if my friends are causing trouble bet ur ass imma be there tagging along

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: im p sure y’all can guess the answer to this by now lmao

68. drank hard liquor: it’s not a real drink unless there’s liquor in it

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: one time i lost a pair of glasses the same day i got them

70. turned someone down: nah this has never happened to me

71. sex on the first date: ive never kissed someone, what else do u think i haven’t done.......

73. had your heart broken: yeah no this hasn’t happened. not properly anyway. like i said, feelings are weird

74. been arrested: it’s not a crime if u dont get caught

75. cried when someone died: nah ive never been close enough to anyone i knew who died

76. fallen for a friend: sorta yes sorta no im weird feelings are odd and my life is a mess

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: i wanna say yes but kinda no my self confidence also needs to return from war

78. miracles: i wanna say i do but im not sure the universe is a fundamentaly chaotic system so i guess weird shit deffo could happen

79. love at first sight: i think some people can get it but i doubt for me and most people will probs have to work for it

80. santa claus: nah that man’s a scam

81. kiss on the first date: if u wanna kiss on the first date then fucking do it!!!!! dont let life hold u back!! dont let ur dreams be memes!!!!! u take their face anfd fucking kiss it!!!!

82. angels: eeehhhhhhhhh probs not

OTHER:

84. eye colour: brown. kinda darker brown than my hair but still brown

85. favourite movie: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) directed by Joe Russo and Anthony Russo