#I haven't heard it

[hifumi-gigolo]

. Vent??m

[bixels]

I watched Starship Troopers tonight.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[beebundt]

thinking a little too much abt durge/orin sibling relationship rn. 🩸ft. my durge (briar, they/them)

[arataka-reigen]

I'm trying to start a movement here

[ID: The first 3 images are edited versions of the "Let's take ibuprofen together" meme. The captions now say "Let's read shoujo together". They each show a person holding their hand out to the viewer; a character from the series Benigyokuzui, Mob from Mob Psycho 100, and Jerma. / end ID]

ID provided by @siroofington thank you so much

[aueua]

love these guys. the musical chairs

[bagofbonesmp3]

didn’t know you were an only child…… don’t like that *goes back in time and impregnates your dad so you have siblings*

[moonkhao]

#this was a boss move™ 

ONLY FRIENDS | Ep 6

[iidaonni]

Hotboi(s) at your local smut shop!!

[captainjonnitkessler]

Leftists online: Both parties are exactly the same, why should I vote?

My coworkers, right now as I type this: Biden is a deep state pedophile and that's why when Trump wins this year the first thing he's going to do is completely take over the executive branch and kick out all the liberal elites so we can take our country back! Have you heard of Project 2025? There's a lot going on behind the scenes that we're going to find out about soon. That's why I've been stockpiling ammo,

[canisalbus]

OMG THAT PAINTING OF THE LIKE,,,, SECRET KISS ON THE STAIR WAY????? VASCO AND MACHETE CORE

That one I know, The Meeting on the Turret Stairs by Frederic William Burton, from 1864!

[scribefindegil]

Have you ever found yourself thinking, "You know what I wish there was fanfiction of? 1948 political protest song (Charlie on the) M.T.A., popularized by the Kingston Trio, now unofficial Boston anthem and the somewhat sinister backstory behind their public transit cards' mascot!" No? Well, someone in the 2023 Yuletide exchange did!

And it wasn't even my assignment but I could not stop thinking about it, so check out 'Neath the Streets Of Boston on ao3 for 2k of trains, literary references, and a sad little New England cryptid.

now you too can read fic about. Him:

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Fun Fashion Fact about ATSV #3:

The History of Hobies Boots: Punk Culture 101

Although Hobies boots are not Doc Martens - it's most likely they're supposed to be.

Hobie wears knee-high cherry red combat boots - and although they look like Doc Martens at first glance, you may notice they aren't.

They lack the iconic yellow threading and the loop behind the boots.

However, despite this - it's most likely that his boots are supposed to be Docs, or at the very least heavily inspired by them.

Contrary to popular belief, Doc Martens are not originally British - they're German, with their production starting after WW2.

When Doc Martens came to the UK in the sixties and seventies -

the first model available to the UK were high-ankled and Cherry Red in color

[NOTE: DO NOT wear these boots with white or red laces unless you want to be approached by racists or you are one. Red and White laces stand for skinheads/white supremacists respectively. Cherry Red Docs with red laces are one of their signatures. Docs have been sold with different color laces over the years, but the standard for new ones is now black. Yellow laces (which the brand sells) stands for anti-racism. I don't believe they have ever sold red or blue laces - only black and yellow now I think]

And later on they produced the 1B60 - aka, the Cherry Red 20-eyelet boots, Hobies model.

So even though his boots aren't OFFICIALLY docs, probably for licensing reasons, but Hobie's boots seen to be designed directly off of the first model of UK Doc Martens.

Hence why his shoes are one of the most consistent things to appear in his concept art. How cool is that!!!

[sgrumby]

the changes to the dnd game license are SUCH a perfect example of corporate greed. imagine having such a huge and dedicated fanbase buying your product that podcasts spring up for it, and instead of recognising how lucky you are for that free publicity you try to claim 25% of their profits - which will almost certainly prevent many creators from using 5e as their game of choice. and then, on top of that, you implement an anti-homebrew policy.

read more here. I haven't seen anybody in fandom talking about this yet and if you enjoy anything derived from dnd - any TTRPG, any live play podcast, any creators - this will affect you. sign the open letter. tweet at them (#opendnd). send them an email. don't let them break the spirit of creativity that underpins TTRPGS.

[sergle]

i've litchrally been going crazymode listening to Maintenence Phase, which is my current favorite podcast, and i highly highly recommend it if you like informative podcasts about debunking misinfo around the wellness/health/diet sphere. it's also just really fucking funny, Michael Hobbs and Aubrey Gordon are great hosts and i love their chemistry together. i'd say "if you're a fat person, you gotta listen to this shit" but honestly i don't even need to be that specific, i just think it's good listening in general. like actually, i think skinny people with or without fat friends would greatly benefit from hearing some of these episodes.

[hershey-the-person]

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