#I hope I didn't talk too much! I tried to give a good explanation without teaching a class. It's so much info. lol

[iamthepulta]

wait no please explain mineral processing!!!

I gasped in delight at the ask, haha. I love mineral processing.

Mineral processing is the theory of economically getting your desired element out of whatever it naturally comes in. So Li out of spodumene, or Cu out of chalcopyrite. It's usually split into hydrometallurgy and pyrometallurgy (liquid chemistry and melting the fuck out of it, respectively), and often taught as hard rock extraction, but you need it for Every Element, really. So you can also focus on extracting phosphates, or nitrates, or uranium! It's chemistry++~

Personally, I know the most about copper extraction and my focus is on hydrometallurgy/geometallurgy, although pyrometallurgy is near to my heart. Copper is coincidentally a really good example of how the two work because it comes as so many natural minerals. (Further explanations under the cut...)

So for copper minerals! You have a whole slew of oxides and sulfides. They occur in different part of your orebodies under different states of oxidation/sulfidation. Take Chrysocolla, Malachite, Chalcocite, and Chalcopyrite. (Cu-silicate)(an oxide), (Cu-carbonate)(an oxide), (Cu-Sulfide), and (Cu-Fe-Sulfide).

Mines usually use hydrometallurgy for oxides by sticking them in a leach heap and pouring sulfuric acid over the whole thing. The acid selectively picks up the Cu ion from silicates and carbonates, leaving the primary tetrahedra alone. The sulfides can work with this chemistry if the mineral's comfort zone is outside of the current conditions (Chalcocite does leach, but usually leaves a Cu ion in the structure as CuS) but minerals like Chalcopyrite are very poor leachers because the outer rim of ions are ripped away, leaving a somewhat-hypothetical "passive layer" of Fe/S that won't react with the acid. So if you have a mine with a lot of Chalcopyrite, you'll be leaving money on the table unless you do something.

So people use pyrometallurgy! Which is what we've been using since the Bronze Age, really. You crush the rock to micrometer grains, use the hydrophobic properties of sulfur to "float" the sulfides in water, then send all of it to the smelter and melt the shit out of it, while adding particular chemicals and minerals to enhance copper recovery while suppressing sulfides you don't want, like sphalerite and galena.

It's REALLY cool. I'm biased of course, but I absolutely love the whole cycle. xD Being in mineral processing also gets you on the backside of geopolitics because you're the only person who understands how to GET things and WHERE to get them and why it's not as simple as pulling Cu out of the ground.

Feel free to ask questions!! I love processing so much, and mining in general, even though I'm only a master's student.

((And NO STUPID QUESTIONS. The mining industry is a goddamn black box DO NOT feel bad if you don't know what stuff means or formulas, or processes. I swear I learn one new word a week. They also have fifty names for everything too because 50 names are always better than 1. 👍)

[venusbyline]

Oasis ࿐ྂ Kinktober. 01, oct.

— pairing: Spencer Reid x wife!reader

— type: smut, Kinktober (Criminal Minds Edition)

— kink: squirting + overstimulation

— summary: Spencer finds out another guy made you squirt in the past and it hits a nerve. You agree to try this with him, even after your husband's sudden childish behavior.

— word count: 4.3k

— tags/warnings: kinktober 1st day, female!reader, husband!Reid, squirting, overstimulation, arguing, mention of safeword (no use), fingering, oral sex (female receiving), curse words, light degradation, biting, body worship, no use of y/n. english is not my first language.

— tagging list: @thatredlipped-classic @magnoliatrees-world @ehedrick012110 @hotchsmutrecs @slutcakes00

— crossposting: AO3

Ever since Spencer had to stay away from Virginia for more than fifteen days solving an extremely urgent criminal case, you've been needy all the time. Your thoughts were in an ironical division between your concern for your husband's safety and well-being, but also the pure desperation and desire to be touched by him again as soon as he returned home.

And it didn't happen.

Unfortunately, Spencer arrived so tired the night before that he didn't even bother to reheat his dinner. After all, it wasn't your fault if he returned late and the lasagna was already cold. Spencer was never a husband who demanded you anything. Both of you cooked and took turns doing the other tasks... As any couple should do. Of course he never complained if you didn't make his lunch before work. It was the least a husband should do. And you two knew it.

So it was a big surprise when there were no welcome hugs and kisses, but just the rolling of his eyes when he noticed that you put his dish in the fridge due the lateness. A spoiled attitude coming from him, and you gave up the lecture because you supposed he was just exhausted and frustrated after the case he solved with the team.

However, that didn't last long. Spencer simply took his things to sleep in the guest room. That made you angry as hell. He couldn't be being such a petty brat over a damn cold dinner, right? Spencer wasn't like that.

It was only a few minutes before you followed Spencer into the other room, asking for an at least reasonable explanation for what was happening to him.

And your hope of ending the night of Spencer's return with a good sex was completely dashed due to the unexpected argument.

During the morning, you left the room still sleepy and grumpy by Spencer's behavior last night, but tried to focus on other things. You tried to distract yourself by making the breakfast, furrowed brow as you watched the eggs and bacon strips frying in the pan.

You turned the piece of meat to the other side when you realized that it was already a little fried, but you let out a sigh when you felt hands entwining around your waist, the recognition of the shaving lotion smell preventing you from screaming in fright.

"It smells great..." Spencer hummed with groggy voice from sleep, leaning over so he could be at your height and resting his chin on your shoulder. The compliment about the good scent he was also flowing almost escaped your lips, but you remained silent, ignoring his existence right there behind you. Even though you hated giving him the silent treatment, your pride was wounded and you needed to give him a taste of his own medicine. After all, he had been trying to ignore you all night, before the uncomfortable silence turned into a stupid fight.

Not getting any reaction made Spencer's heart to ache, and he sighed. "Honey, please... Talk to me. You know how much it hurts me not to talk to you."

You couldn't help but let out a mockery sound, without even looking at him back. "Seriously, Reid? Because I remember very well that you were planning to do exactly that shit last night."

Your accusation made Spencer let out a frustrated sigh, his hands letting go of your waist and taking a few steps away. For a moment, you thought he was angry too and going back to guest room or maybe the living room, but instead, you looked at him furiously as he turned off the flame of the stove.

"What the hell? I haven't finished cooking yet!" You exclaimed with a frown, not believing your husband's boldness.

"Yeah... I know." Spencer took a deep breath, looking at you with those puppy dog eyes. "You can finish later. I need to explain myself."

"Oh, so now you wanna explain yourself?" You scoffed. "Maybe if you had done that yesterday instead of treating me like trash or-"

Spencer cut you off, holding your shoulders gently but firmly enough to make you shut up and pay attention to what he needed to say.

"I'm so sorry, okay?" He began and one of your eyebrows rose in a nonverbal sarcasm sign. "I'm serious, honey. I was an asshole last night and-"

"Yes. You were." Your words came out colder than he was expecting and he swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. "You threw a lot of shit at me without me even knowing why we were fighting."

Spencer took another deep breath, trying to work up the courage to confess about what messed with his mind. He knew that nothing he said would justify his actions and that was making him anxious, his heart ached not only at the mere thought of you not forgiving his childish behavior, but also at the possibility of you keeping to avoid his touches and his attempts to talk.

Spencer let go of your shoulders, his hands coming down until they were intertwined with yours, even if your fingers were stiff at first.

"I was jealous..." The confession finally came in an embarrassed whisper.

A perplexity look appeared on your face. "Jealous? Of what?" You asked, trying to look him in the eyes, even though his face was tilted down, a few strands of hair hiding his flushed cheeks. When he didn't answer, you insisted, lightly touching his fingers that were still intertwined with yours. "Explain it to me, Spencie."

Your demand said by a less angry way made him whimper, needing to be honest. "Y-Yesterday, after the case, the team was at the BAU. JJ, Prentiss and Garcia were talking some personal stuff about their sex lives..." Spencer began. "I-I wasn't paying attention, logically, I swear. I was with Morgan and Hotch talking about random things, but my hearing accidentally picked up a certain topic of the talk between the girls and-"

"Spencie..." Your voice softer now that you noticed how he seemed embarrassed and stuttering like a little child, as well as he was also beating around the bush. "I know you're nervous, but you could try going straight to the point, please? I'm worried here too."

Spencer nodded, knowing you were right. "I accidentally heard JJ whispering to the girls that you already had a squirt." He murmured and it was your turn to get hot and rosy cheeks. You could imagine that JJ hadn't told your secret as a gossip, but rather to add some important information on the subject, but it still left you embarrassed. "But you never had a squirt with me..."

Your eyes widened with realization and you tried to work around the situation. "Baby..."

"Don't do that... Please. I know how it works, okay? I know that not every woman can squirt and I also know that those of you who can squirt don't necessarily do this often. I've also read that it's not always as pleasing for you as porn makes it seem-"

You cut him off. "So you also know that squirting doesn't always happen during a orgasm. It can also happen even without cumming. It's something individual for each woman, it's not like an exact rule."

Spencer huffed angrily. "I know, fuck. I know..." He grumbled, running a hand over his face. "I know how all this shit works. But it doesn't change anything."

"What doesn't change, Reid?" You exclaimed impatiently now.

"The fact that you hid this from me!" Spencer shouted and you immediately rolled your eyes. "Damn, don't you dare roll your eyes at me. You don't know how much hearing that behind my back hurt me."

"Retroactive jealousy? Really, Spencer? You know better than anyone this doesn't make any sense." You huffed, massaging your temples to avoid the huge urge to pick up that frying pan and hit your husband in the back of the head.

His jaw clenched when you mentioned that. "It's not... It's not just jealousy, much less the retroactive one." He was stubborn like a fucking child, the sight of Spencer crossing his arms to try to look more mature almost made you chuckle.

"Oh, I bet it is, and very immature too." The scoff escaped before you could think of something more gentle to say. "Fuck, Spencer. It's not like we share details about our past sex lives with each other. That would be really awkward and uncomfortable. I don't wanna know what you've done with other women in your past and I guess you don't wanna know what I've done in my past either."

Spencer kept his arms crossed, but his eyebrows shot up and his jaw clenched for the second time, a clear sign that he knew you were right, it was just hard to admit.

"Well, I really don't wanna hear about that old stuff, but this is important one..."

"Why on earth would this be important?"

"BECAUSE NOW I'M FEELING INSUFFICIENT!" Spencer uncrossing his arms as he looked at you with despair. "I feel like I'm not giving you enough pleasure! Now I feel like I've never given you a decent orgasm."

You felt your eyes widen again. It all still didn't make any sense, it was something completely irrational coming from Spencer. You knew that academically, Spencer was always a genius who knew about anything in the world, but when it was something regarding you or your relationship, he acted like any man, lost with most situations and also insecure at times.

"You're being ridiculous." You grumbled, trying to push past him before his hand closed around your wrist, keeping you firmly in place.

"I know. I know I'm being immature and irrational, but-"

"But what, Spencer? Jesus Christ, if you were trying to deal with jealousy, it would have been easier to have asked to fuck me last night or something."

His face flushed and he began to stutter, not knowing what to do other than let go of your arm.

After two minutes of awkward silence, Spencer tried to argue again. "That's not... That doesn't make sense. We can't solve our relationship problems by having sex..."

His hypocrisy made you roll your eyes. "Oh, sure. And fighting solved it?" You asked and he looked away, knowing you were right. Again. "Yesterday I was really desperate to have sex with you."

He lifted his head and looked at you, surprised. "You mean that?"

You laughed quietly due to the confusion in his face. "Yes, Spencie. You've been away from home for over a fortnight, do you really think I'm not fucking horny?"

Spencer stopped to think for a moment, scratching the back of his head and trying hard to find a solution to the stupid situation he created. "So can we... Can we try?"

You looked at him, thinking about denying it out of a tantrum, but you just sighed and then argued. "I don't know, Spencer... I'm not in the mood, but we can try just for learning purposes. More like a lesson than our real sex."

A guilt expression appeared on Spencer's face, along with a pang in his chest. The idea of you not even wanting to have real sex with him for now was torturous for him. He knew he had failed with you, being so immature to the point of making you lose your lust about the situation. But he could try to redeem himself. Even though it was a selfish thought at first, he was now determined to apologize properly.

"Yes... Yes, that sounds good..." He gave you a sad smile.

You lay down on the bed and put a pillow under your hip. Your pajamas were already thrown somewhere random on the floor, just like the pink cotton panties. You were ready to teach Spencer whatever he needed to learn.

There was no certainty that he would be able to make you squirt. You always had the best orgasms when Spencer was in charge of pleasuring you, but he was feeling less after the discovery that you had already squirted with the help of another man. A man who wasn't him.

Maybe hiding this fact from him hadn't been tbe wisest choice, even if you hadn't done it on purpose. You just didn't think that mentioning this situation or asking Spencer to try that would really be so important. Over the years, no man had given you half the pleasure that Spencer gave you on a daily basis, squirting or not.

"Well, let's do it." Your words came out emotionless as you parted your legs, giving him the perfect view of your still barely wet pussy.

"You're shaved..." Spencer frowned at your complete lack of pubic hair so suddenly. Or at least that's what he thought.

You rolled your eyes, impatience side by side with embarrassment, both eating you alive. "Like I said, I was desperate to fuck with you as soon as you got back from the case. So I decided to get a full wax beforehand."

At other times, Spencer would laugh hearing you confess so openly about your high desire for his body over the past few weeks. At other times, he would even tease you about needing a vibrator to help you achieve your release when he was away, even if you were more than capable of cumming with your own fingers.

But your hands didn't provide you the same ecstasy that Spencer's long thin fingers made you feel. And he knew it too.

You felt yourself holding your breath the moment Spencer took off his shirt to make himself more comfortable. As much as your pride told you to look away from his body, it was impossible for you to stop enjoying the view. Watching Spencer's bare skin was as addictive as the fresh water of an Oasis should be for thirsty people walking through deserts. And you couldn't lie... You were desperate to quench your thirst and taste him again after all that time away from each other.

Spencer knelt on the floor, carefully pulling your legs so that your lower body was closer to the edge of the bed, and automatically closer to his face.

"Are you okay, honey?" He asked with a cocky smile as he felt your thighs tingle as he touched them to adjust your position.

Hearing your husband's sarcastic smugness, you held back from punching him in the shoulder. "Yeah, I'm great." Your voice sounded angry and he chuckled softly, nodding his head and turning his attention to your center, which was finally starting to get wetter.

"I'm seeing..."

You ignored his mockery and looked at the ceiling, not wanting to exchange eye contact at that moment. Spencer's puppy eyes plus his mischievous smile were an almost fallen angel combination. Like a wolf in sheep's clothing or the Devil in disguise, just as Elvis Presley said in that song.

Spencer giggled as he ran his fingertips down your thighs, caressing your skin so gently that it felt like delightful torment. You fought to maintain an expression of indifference and boredom, but the goosebumps that passed through your body told him a different story.

Already knowing that not so soon you would give in and admit your lust, Spencer began to left kisses spread across the lower part of your thighs, enjoying the sound of your breathing becoming increasingly panting.

"What's the next step, professor? Your teaching method it's being too silent..." Spencer joked and you couldn't help but roll your eyes.

"Just... Just keep doing what you always do for now." You hummed with the last bit of patience you had left, grabbing the sheet to keep your hands out of Spencer's hair.

Another chuckle escaped Spencer's lips and he nodded, placing more soft kisses on your skin before moving closer to your pussy again, closing his eyes and inhaling the scent of your essence for a few seconds before leaving a quick delicate kiss on your bud. “F-fuck…” You squirmed slightly, your eyes widening at his unexpected action. "T-this is new..."

"I saw something like this while I was watching porn after our argument and I thought this might be good for you." Spencer confessed and you nodded with difficulty, a confirmation that the wished effect was occurring.

You looked at Spencer's cute face, but the eye contact lasted very little time, because as soon as Spencer's tongue began to tease your clit, your head arched back, more moans escaping as he held your legs firmly, not letting you give in to the normal human reaction of trying to deflect sudden pleasure. "Fuck... Why is this even better than usual?"

Spencer laughed again at the question you asked amidst the moaning session. He knew you were more touchy this time and he had an idea why. Probably due to the fact that both of you missed each other's bodies, as well as the fact that he was working hard as if it were actually a goal to be achieved, a prize to be won. But he wouldn't stop licking you to admit it. Deep down, he supposed that you were realizing that too.

"T-two fingers, Spencer! Put two fingers inside!" Your order left him a little disconcerted, since despite everything, he was used to putting in one finger at a time. As soon as he did what you demanded to him, he felt the walls of your pussy almost crushing his fingers, a desperate moan escaping your lips, fleshy and reddened from holding back the sounds that wanted to escape.

"Damn, honey... You're needy today." Spencer smirked, starting the movements more gently, wanting to enjoy the sight of you writhing around his fingers, begging for more. "You said it would just be a lesson, just a method to stop my stupid retroactive jealousy... But you're loving it, don't you?"

You just kept moaning. Even though the pleasure was obvious by the way your cheeks flushed and your hips rolled around Spencer's fingers. Pride prevented you from saying you were excited to make a mess on the sheets.

When Spencer interspersed the fingerfucking and his lips closing slightly around your clit, starting to suck gently, an immediate whimper left your lips. "F-fuck, do it again. Do it one more time, Spencie."

Spencer, the genius who learned too quickly, followed your commands like a good boy, sucking the swollen bud again, his fingers moving faster when he noticed how you eyes were rolling back in pleasure. It was a divine view. He could fuck you for hours, just as he could watch you cum for hours too.

He greedily licked away your first orgasm of the day, even though he knew it still wasn't enough. It still wasn't the goal you two were looking to achieve that morning. However, not only did Spencer never waste the opportunity to take in every drop of your sweet release, but he also knew that the first orgasm could make it easier to get closer to your potential squirt.

And to be honest, he might even be content with your normal orgasms, since you looked so beautiful when you came on his lips.

Your lungs burned for air as his breathing normalized, his heartbeat became faster and your vision readjusting to reality. When the white flashes disappeared, you look back at Spencer, who still has a cocky smile on his face, his fingers still working inside you.

"Honey, you're a very unfocused teacher." He mocked and the literal joke made you laugh, a weak, breathless sound, mixed with some sighs of pleasure that were impossible to you contain.

"Or maybe my dearest student's very diligent. Too much, actually." Your mockery made him laugh too. His lips moving closer to your intimacy again, but now focusing on nibbling the flesh of your thigh, speeding up his fingerfucking again. Even the smallest touch making you whimper, your pussy tightening from the overstimulation.

Spencer noticed this and bit your skin for the second time, now with a little more pressure, and you were sure you heard the neighbor from the next apartment knock on the wall to curse you for the sudden fucking loud moan in the middle of the morning. This only further increased Spencer's growing arousal and your need for more release. "Grumpy old woman." You mumbled about her, trying hard to hide the embarrassment that colored your cheeks.

"Oh, c'mon... Don't be shy, my dear wife." Spencer chuckled, licking your soft flesh before teasing your with his teeth again, but now just scraping them across your skin until he reached your core. You felt the moment when the central and lateral incisors brush against your clit. It was a soft act despite it taking a gasp from you due to the little pain. And then he did it again, returning to moving his fingers roughly.

When Spencer nibbled on your swollen clit, you almost screamed, but his free hand stopped you from moving away from him. “Relax, baby…” He purred, licking your sensitive pussy to redress for the pain he caused, his wet warm tongue matching perfectly with the bitter sting of his teeth returning to bit the same spot. It was so painful and hot...

“S-Spencie…” You whimpered as he blew on your slightly tortured clit. A rush of air so brief that you would barely feel it usually, but now, with your pussy burning in flames, the mere breeze of his sigh in that right spot made you shiver and squeeze his fingers tighter.

"It's okay, I'm feeling it, baby... I'm feeling your little pussy squeezing me. Are you gonna cum again? Will you be a good wife and wet my tongue with your cum?" Spencer practically growled, focusing back on fingering you, his fingers moving in and out of you at such a fast pace that the wet obscene noise joined your moans, filling the room like music to Spencer's ears.

The moment his tongue returned to licking your soaked folds, your body shook more than expected and you opened your mouth in a silent scream, your back writhing in Spencer's grip, arched and aching as the clear jets wetted your husband's face, a guttural groan escaping him as he opened his eyes to see you with your eyes closed and your legs shaking as he committed himself to drinking every drop from the fountain you provided.

Spencer didn't give you time to adjust to that non-routine orgasm. He took care of remaining with his head in the same position, between your thighs, licking your pussy as if it were the tastiest Oasis' water. Savoring the flavor, eyes closed as he concentrated on getting messy, not caring which part of his face he was rubbing against your warm cunt. Whether it was the lips, the nose, the chin... He rubbed every inch of his face, noticing how your moans became desperate again and you tried to push his head away, a mix of overstimulation and shyness.

Spencer always loved eating you out. However, nothing was like now. Nothing was like feeling eaten alive by a hungry lover, and at the same time so worshiped by him.

"J-Jesus... it's enough, Spencie. S-stop, please." You tried to push him away, enough to get a heavenly view of his face glistening due your juices, completely messed up and handsome like a angel.

But he looked up grinning like a devil. "Unless you want or need to say your safeword, then it's not enough and I'm not stopping now." He threatened, even though you two knew that the one word would stop him immediately.

Instead of answering him, you grabbed the back of Spencer's head closer to your already swollen pussy. He removed his fingers, focusing on letting you rub against his face. Every inch of the tip of his nose brushing against your folds was enough to make more pathetic whimpers come from you, plus a little liquid leaking out, now in light jets and low quantities.

You trembled, letting go of the back of his head and looking at him with your lip bleeding from biting so much. You wanted to say something, anything to say thank you, but Spencer had other plans. His fingers, still soaked from fucking your walls, began to return working on your clit. He smirked at your screams of pleasure, the tears streaming down your face... And he enjoyed every minute of all of this, exchanging his long fingers for his own palm, where the friction turned aggressiver, more painful, eliciting louder screams from you as he practically left your pussy raw, biting your thighs to create a mix of impressive actions whose only possible consequence was having you squirting into the palm of his hand, screaming like a whore. His little whore. Only his.

And when you did it, Spencer finally moved his arms away from your body. You sobbed, eyes closed and tears flowing. But he knew you were fine, especially when you let out a soft, weak and shy chuckle at just hearing the sound of him licking his own fingers so as not to waste any drop of your squirt.

"Was I better than your ex?" Spencer teased, pulling you to his chest, where he could caressing your hair and calm your tremors from all the orgasms he gave you.

Still with your eyes closed to try and calm down, you let out a scoff through your nose. He already understands how you feel, but that doesn't stop him from wanting you to say it, loud and clear. You nodded at his provocation and received a soft kiss on your forehead, while his hands snaked around your waist, getting closer to your tired and fragile body. "You're a very smart and diligent student." You managed to scoff and Spencer laughed, kissing your cheeks.

"Only because you're my favorite professor, honey."

Criminal Minds Edition - Masterlist

HOTD Edition - Masterlist

Venusbyline's Kinktober 2024 - Masterlist

[jjkarmy091]

Second Best- Jungkook (part 10)

Summary: Being friends with someone who has your heart it’s already hard, let alone when that special someone ends up falling in love with your best friend, the one you think would never make anything to hurt you . Will you be able to ignore it and move on? what will happen when everything gets too much for you to handle?

Genre: Friends to lovers; angst; body insecurities; bullying; friend betrayel;

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Warning: strong language

Wordcount: 8.5k

Author's note: I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Give me your thoughts. I love you all !

P.S : I'm sorry for any mistakes. English is not my first language!

Y/n wasn't always insecure about herself. Early in life she was a lively, extroverted and free spirit person, but life is unfair and unpredictable. Having the trauma of seeing her father abandon her and her mother for another woman, saying she was the reason why he stopped loving and caring for her mom, left something inside her that it was never possible to mend no matter how hard she tried, making her more focused on studies and goals than boys and dating while growing up. For her, love was an illusion and she wouldn’t make the same mistake as her mother. 

Thinking about it now as she heads inside the apartment she shares with Lisa, she never gave anyone an opportunity, but as soon as she saw Jungkook she was drawn to him immediately without any explanation for it. Independence was her thing and she never thought she’d be capable of feeling the way she feels about him right now. Even if that meant that her friendship with Sewoon had to end. 

Looking back she knows Sewoon was never a good friend to her and she deserves better. Despite knowing their personalities were completely different from each other, Y/n accepted her anyway. After all, Sewoon had been her first friend, the first person to defend her when necessary and for that she was truly thankful for her. She also knew a little about her past and even though their priorities were different, they understood each other like that.  

Sewoon wanted to live life, have fun, go out, drink. Everything a teenager is supposed to do. She lost her virginity at 16 to a boy three years older than her who she met at a party. At the time Y/n asked her how was she able to do something so intimate with someone she had only known for a short time. Her best friend replied no one cared about that anymore. Truth to be told, after that she changed. A lot. Maybe that was when they started to drift apart a little bit. Y/n didn't like this change, not when she tried to do the same to her. Sewoon would share her experience regarding sex, how she did it, what she did and how good it felt. She was sexually active and made sure everyone knew about it, bothering Y/n. It was a subject that she didn't feel confident or comfortable talking about, however Sewoon pressured her to go the same path as her and that pissed Y/n off, but she would let it slide.

Maybe that was the main problem, letting it slide too muc. She never thought they would get to the point they are at today and that's sad. Now, Y/n was envious of all the experience she had acquired over the years, because with Jungkook it worked. He was so enthralled by Sewoon's beauty and comfort around guys, not to mention the way she won over boys, the subtle way of touching and talking to them when she tried to conquer them. Honestly, she admired the way she could make people who weren't interested in her focueds on her so quickly. Y/n knew she would never reach her feet in that way.  

Everything that happened today with Jungkook was just one more thing to confuse her. What if she was imagining things? As far as she knows he could flirt like this with everyone else. What if he thought she was easy just because she had feelings for him and he was in need of more than she could give him? She has known him long enough to know he wasn’t part like this but still... One never really knows someone, right? Sewoon is living proof of this.  

Walking in her room, Y/n went to change clothes and do her skin care, she had cried so much during the day that her eyes were swollen. She washed her face with cold water and dried it and putting a facial mask on. It was a very cold night but the moonlight helped to alleviate the darkness outside and she took advantage of being alone to go to the living room with her favourite book in hand, sitting in a chair next to the fireplace. The Y/n from a few days ago would be unable to tell Jungkook how she felt, yet both yesterday and today she had already confessed twice and had even confronted Sewoon. She never thought she would be able to raise her voice the way she did.

She somehow feels that Jungkook came into her life to break down all these walls around her heart with his sweet gaze and magnetic smile. She fell in love with him, but didn't have the courage to admit it (to him or herself), which ended up in her best friend dating him and yet she continued to desire him. Damn, she was so happy to know they had broken up, so she could rekindle her friendship with him and although knowing this was not something a good friend would do, at that moment Y/n doesn’t regret staying close to Jungkook, otherwise the moment they shared today wouldn't have happened at all. For that she also has Lisa to thank. God, she was very upset with her, but she ended up opening a path she never thought she would have with him. 

Suddenly, she heard the main door open, announcing Lisa's arrival. Lisa hadn't even noticed her since when she arrived it was all dark. When Lisa heard a voice calling her in the distance she screamed and now it was Y/n's turn to laugh. Lisa put her hands to her chest and threw her keys at her in protest. 

“You really scared the shit out of me Y/n. What the fuck are you doing with every light turned off? Are you a vampire and I didn’t notice it?” Lisa throws herself on the couch “Huuuuufff finally home! I've never had a day as long as this one. Meetings after meetings, just boring shit. How was your day? Was it a nightmare or a cool one?” Y/n gave a half smile  

"Initially it was shitty, but it ended pretty well" Lisa raised her head and made a suspicious face.  

“That means something did happen. Oh my god, is it Jungkook related?” 

“Yes and no” Lisa was confused. “Last night before going to sleep I sent a text to Sewoon, trying to talk to her about the things I found out on that trip regarding Tae, but she didn't give me an answer so I didn't think much about it anymore. Today, it was almost time for my break when I saw her come in. I told Sana that I was going outside and would be right back, but the conversation didn't go as I expected. She was horrible Lisa, she said tons of shit that affected me a lot. I never met this person before. I saw a person I didn't know existed.” 

“What did she tell you?” Lisa whispered and Y/n lowered her head, sighing. 

“She basically said that she was happy I had disappeared without telling anyone, that the only bad thing was that Jungkook was constantly wanting to know my whereabouts and not even with the pictures she showed him did he calm down. Ohh and that she prayed for news to arrive that something bad had happened to me. She also mentioned that I had stolen Tae from her and that she’d do everything to be with Jungkook, especially since they had already been together a few times, so she had no doubt that he would choose her over me. A bunch of shit.” 

“SHE SAID WHAT? God that girl needs a punch to bring her back to reality I swear the next time I see her I’m gonna end her. Who does she think she is f--” Y/n interrupted her  

“It’s okay Lisa. Actually, I need to thank her. After that, I was so upset that Sana told me to leave, I needed to clear my head and you were working so I decided to take a walk. Somehow, I ended up in front of Jungkook's workplace, he ended up seeing me and went after me and insisted on bringing me home, however, I told him I had to make a stop by La Dolce Perla and we ended up having dinner there. Although things were VERY tense at the beginning, by the end of the night I ended up letting some things out and he didn't judge me or anything, quite the opposite, he kept me calm and respected me. There was something in the air you know? Something that was pulling us closer to each other. We almost kissed” Lisa squealed in excitement but then stopped and made a funny face. 

“So why didn't you?” 

“I - I don’t know... I guess he noticed how nervous I was. We were saying goodbye and then he told me he’d wait for me. I don’t know what kind of waiting was he referring to but somehow that gave me comfort, but I’m not sure it’s a good thing, I mean it gives me hope for a future for us but with Sewoon in the picture I--” 

“Why don’t you talk to him about Sewoon? A real and open conversation where both of you get all the answers to your questions. You guys have a lot of connection, don’t miss that over misunderstandings.” Lisa said while hugging Y/n, excusing herself to get ready for bed. She had a very busy day in her company and she was wrecked. Y/n was tired too, so she went to her bedroom, did her routine and fell asleep, or at least she tried to. 

On the next day Sana wouldn’t be there so she’d be with the new guy. She never got to make a full shift with him and she was curious to see how it’d go. By the time her alarm went off Y/n was wide awake and ready to star her day. She had the weirdest yet the best dream ever. It was about Jungkook and she was enjoying it so much that when she woke up she cursed her neighbor for making so much noise at 08:15 a.m.  

She was going to make a double shift. She hated when her boss asked her favors like these but she really needed the money, that’s what kept her going. Getting there she saw Namjoon cleaning tables. Sana wouldn’t stop gushing over him, how cute he looked or how mature he was for someone his age. Even though Sana didn't have the courage to admit her feelings for him (yet, according to her) there was a palpable chemistry between them. The few moments that Y/n witnessed, made her think about her example, how much she thought she and Jungkook understood each other until Sewoon appeared. The day was passing by very peacefully. Right now there were only two customers so she and Namjoon took the opportunity to get some things done earlier. While at it, they got to know each other better and when they finished what they were doing, they ended up engaging in a deep conversation.

Okay, she had to agree with Sana, he had a great view on life and knew a lot for a 20-year-old. They were so absorbed in their conversation they didn't even notice the arrival of a new customer. Hearing the chirping of a throat in order to draw the attention of the two of them, Y/n was surprised to see Jungkook there with a look she couldn’t describe. Namjoon must have felt the weight of Jungkook’s eyes on him because he used some lame excuse to get out of there as soon as possible, leaving her alone with him.

“Jungkook, hi! I – I wasn't expecting to see you here at this time of the day. Usually you come a little later... Is everything okay?” Jungkook took a whole minute to respond, glancing between her and the door Namjoon had «escaped»

“Yes, everything’s fine. I hmmm- I was around and I-- I know it's almost your lunch time so I passed by to see if you wanted to have lunch with me.” He looks at Namjoon when he sees him walking out with some boxes. “But if you’re busy yo-” 

“Imnotbusyatall” she answered so quickly Jungkook didn’t understand a thing so she had to repeat herself, calmer this time. “Sorry. I meant to say I’m not busy. I have two hours for lunch since I'm working double shifts today. I just wasn’t expecting to see you so... early. I mean, for someone who usually shows up around 9pm, it's quite surprising” She smiled, turning her attention to the door, only to see Namjoon walk in again looking at her and Jungkook. He gave her a thumbs up, she flipped him off surreptitiously. Jungkook, on the other hand, was paying attention to all these actions. He's never seen this guy before, maybe he didn’t pay much attention to him. They seemed to have hit off pretty nice and for some reason he didn't like that at all. 

“I finished the morning session earlier than expected so I Ieft early as well. It's 10 minutes to 1 pm, can I stay here waiting for you or do you think you’ll have problems with that guy?”  

“With Namjoon? Naah, he’s cool. I'll just tell him to come replace me so I can change clothes and we can go. I’ll be right back.” As said, Y/n went to warn Namjoon and went towards the locker room. She left after 5 minutes, seeing Jungkook waiting for her near the exit. Weird, he usually used to wait for her at the counter where she and Sana usually stay, where Namjoon currently is as well.  

“Why are you waiting here? It’s not your normal spot you know? Joon won’t bite you for standing there” Y/n said laughing while approaching Jungkook. Seeing her, he adjusted his coat and smiled, opened the door motioning for her to go through it first, leaving behind her.

“I didn't like him, that's all, so I preferred to wait here. Besides, I didn't want to cause trouble. "

"Why would you cause trouble? It's not like this is the first time you've come in here or waited for me to leave. And what do you mean you didn't like him? Do you know each other by any chance? Where's the Jungkook who says we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover?” Y/n was teasing him and he knew it, answering with a little shut up. About five minutes away down the road there was a small burger place. It wasn't the first time they went there to eat, she loved the burgers there and the space was heaven. When they sat down, the waiter took their order and went to get their drinks, returning two minutes later. They both said thank you, giving some sips on their coca cola’s. Jungkook broke off the silence first.

“So..you and the new guy seemed pretty close. Cool guy hm?”  

“His name is Namjoon and yes we got along quite well. You wanna know a fun fact? it was our first day working together officially. He started when I was on vacation and he’s been doing more day shifts with Sana. But yeah, he’s pretty nice. I was surprised, he’s younger than us but he’s pretty mature for his age and he made me laugh a lot today. It made my double shift a lot easier.” 

“Ohhh”. Jungkook gave a few sips on his drink. “Glad it only took him a few minutes for you to be able to feel comfortable with him. It took me ages for you to look at my face. No one would tell it was your first time working together. You must have really liked him” Was he jealous?

“There’s nothing going on between us if that’s what you’re trying to know.” Jungkook chocked on his drink and tried to look everywhere but her. “We made a great team today but that’s it. He’s not my type. Besides, Sana has a crush on him. I’d never do that to a friend of mine”. Jungkook understood the hint. When he was about so speak, the waiter came with their orders. He waited for him to leave again so he could say what he wanted. 

“I’m sorry” Y/n frowned. 

“Sorry? What for?”

"It was bad of me to come between you and Sewoon. It's a long story and I have to tell you all about it, but at the same time I want to respect your space and time. I should have talked to you as soon as I realized something was going on, but I was confused and--”  Y/n interrupted him.

“Were you happy? While you were with Sewoon I mean. Did she make you feel happy?” For the first time Jungkook didn't know what to answer because he genuinely didn't know. Looking back, he knows he was never in love with her, it was just a momentary thing. He realized this too late and now he’s paying for it. Y/n noticed his discomfort so she changed the subject. “This place is without a doubt the one with the best burgers. This is my second favorite place, I really enjoy coming here and this is sooooo good or maybe it's just me being so hungry.” She said, laughing at her own words. Jungkook laughed too. One of the things he never felt with Sewoon: lightness and tranquility. With her, everything was always a competition and based on image. Very controlled, very fake, very rehearsed.

During their meal, they talked about basic things related to life, work and dreams, ordered dessert and drank coffee. Jungkook paid their meals and even though Y/n refused he didn't listen, telling her to pay next time. When they got outside, Jungkook took out a cigarette and stayed like that, grabbing it. Y/n looked at him with a questioning face. 

"How come I didn’t know you smoked? I mean every time we went out I never noticed. I was so surprised to see you smoking the other day” 

"And you said you hadn't noticed me." He said laughing. "I don't smoke much, usually after coffee or when I'm nervous/anxious. I've always tried not to smoke around you because I know you don't like the smell, so I avoid it." 

"Is that why you haven't lit your cigarette yet?" Jungkook looked at the hand that had the cigarette between his fingers. "Maybe" he said wrinkling his nose, looking at her with those sweet bambi eyes. God help her because she can't stay away from this man much longer. During their way back to her work she expected him to light the cigarette, but at no point did he do so. She even told him that if he needed to smoke to do it, that she didn't have to be an obstacle simply because she didn't like it, to which he replied that there were priorities and at that moment smoking wasn't one of them. She didn't say anything back but Jungkook noticed the blush on her cheeks and the shy smile on her face.  

“I wasn’t happy” Y/n looked at him wondering what he meant by that. He keeps talking. “You asked me if I was happy with Sewoon and my answer is no. Everything was a facade between us and now I can see how dumb I was to call it love. There were no feelings between us, only physical attraction and illusions. I know I messed up bad by getting together with her Y/n and I wish I could take it back. Even though I didn’t know your feelings for me but it was wrong and you have no idea how bad I feel for hurting you, even without meaning to. I’m truly deeply sorry.” Y/n felt so bad for him. It was a mix of emotions and she just wanted to comfort him so she stopped walking, grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her, hugging him tight, whispering

"You're not to blame for anything. If anything I'm to blame because I was the one who didn't speak up." He moved away a little, although they were very close. "We don't control our feelings. It's not your fault that I fell in love with you just as it's not your fault that you felt something for Sewoon, just as I don't blame her for having something with you even though she knew about my feel--” She stopped talking when she saw his shocked face. His face changed drastically when she said Sewoon knew about her feelings, he was angry and you could see it. “Why are you looking at me like that?”  

“Sewoon knew? She knew and you still insisted on pushing her to me?!” He was mad. 

“What was I supposed to do? You’re my best friend and I was afraid of ruining it with you, then you wanted to meet her and I just couldn’t say no. I knew you two were perfect for each other. I- I didn’t want to be selfish- I -” 

“FOR ONCE Y/n. Just for once you should’ve been selfish! Do you have any idea of how hard this has been for me? just to know that you were the one who gave me to her just like that? Was I not enough for you, was that it?” 

“Jungkook, no... Wh- What are you saying? I was the one that wasn’t enough for YOU. That’s why I introduced you to her.” At this point Jungkook had already moved away quite a bit, running his hands through his hair.  

“You were more than enough Y/n. You just didn't bother to face what was in front of you. Why do you want everything to be given to you? Is it really that hard for you to take control of your life for once? You would’ve avoided so many things Y/n. But you know what? I'm glad it was this way, maybe you and I weren't meant to be after all and we’re just realizing this now.” He sighed. “C’mon, I need to go and you have to go work as well. 

The last minutes felt like hours. Y/n hadn't realized how things had gotten to that point, it wasn't possible to understand. She thought it was unfair that he was blaming her for not opening up, even though he was upset, but even so. When they arrived Y/n grabbed his arm once more. 

“Jungkook, you can’t leave like this. You can’t drive being all raged up right now. Talk to me, please. I know I should’ve been more honest about things but I was scared and- and it’s not like you gave me any signs of any feelings either. I wanted you to be happy desp-” he released himself from her grip.

“I did gave you signs Y/n! I fucking did!That's why I'm so messed up. I - The only reason why I approached Sewoon in the first place was to have a reaction from you and to know things I knew I couldn't ask you directly.” It was Y/n’s turn to be shocked. What? “I know you avoid relationships and everything related to boys because you’re scared. If I told you how I felt or what I wanted I was scared you'd run away from me like you always do so I kept giving you signs Y/n but I had no reaction from you at all. I knew who Sewoon was from some pictures on your Instagram so when I challenged you to introduce me to her I was testing waters, however, your indifference remained there. It's not just my fault. I took you on dates and you would dismiss it, saying it was just two best friends hanging out. I left work every day and waited for you every day. In my free time I would come here to keep you company and be close to you while I sketch things that I could easily do at home. I have a cafe in front of my store and yet I’m- Always- Here- You can't be that oblivious Y/n. You were the one to put a label on us every goddamn time! You say you’re in love with me? No Y/n you’re not, otherwise you wouldn’t have given up so damn fast and give me to your best friend like a damn trophy the moment she asked. Hurts to know that I didn't deserve a second thought.” Y/n could only look at him. He looked so damn honest and he was so disappointed in her. There was hurt all over his face and that was killing her. She wanted to say something but she couldn’t so she did what she always does: let him go. 

She shouldn't have let him go. The rest of the day was fulfilled with anxiety and guilt. Every day she discovered new things and every time she thought her and Jungkook were stepping forward, they took five steps back. She was ruining everything good she had ever dreamed of with her cowardice and lack of communication. She should've gone after him, yet pride got the best of her.

Like always. 

After the argument he got in the car and left. At first she tried not to think about it too much, but then she felt the guilt consume her. When she was alone with just a few clients, she sent several texts to Jungkook, apologizing for the way things happened, for them to talk and clear things up once and for all.

No response.

Lisa was going to spend the night out, so once again she found herself alone in that giant apartment. Without thinking she called Jungkook, going straight to voicemail all the six times she tried. The only positive thing was that the next day it'd be her day off and she’d try to talk to Jungkook and clear things up.

Hopefully

The next day Y/n woke up with a huge weight beside her bed. When she opened her eyes she saw Lisa looking at her with a smile from ear to ear.

"Good morning, sunshine. I'm going to do something crazy and I want you to come with me. Hurry up, get even more pretty and let's go. If I’m late and loose my turn I'm going to kill you.”  

That's what consisted being friends with Lisa: waiting for her to wake her up at 9:30 in the morning for something that had popped into her mind out of pure spontaneity was just an example of it. She was adventurous and left nothing undone or unsaid because, according to her, you only live once and she would rather regret what she didn't do than everything she tried and failed at.

That's how at 10 in the morning Y/n found herself in front of the tattoo shop where Jungkook works. The only thing she wanted to do was turn around and leave. Gosh, he's been ignoring her attempts to contact him, how could she just walk in there like nothing was happening? She remembers talking to Lisa about getting tattoos. She never had courage for it, besides, Sewoon would tell her all the time they wouldn't suit her, thus she gave up of the idea. Lisa encouraged her, saying that when she did hers Y/n would do it too, but now, her stomach was churning and it seemed like the only thing that was going to come out was vomit. When they arrived at the entrance Y/n stopped. 

“I can’t go in with you. I’m sorry” 

“What do you mean you can’t? You can’t leave me alone at it. Also, I booked you a session so you have to show up.” Lisa said innocently.  

“You knew Jungkook works here, didn't you? You little bi--” 

“Hey hey hey. There’s no time for that my friend. We're about to get hotter and have something marked on us. Let’s go.” She was fucked.   Lisa linked her arm with her and they walked inside. It was a very peaceful place, with drawings on display, music playing and a diffuser. Of course. Jungkook was addicted to smells and very weird about them too.

The first person they saw was the red-haired lady Y/n had seen close to Jungkook the other day. Seen up close, she was even more stunning. Since Lisa was the one scheduling the session, the red-haired who introduced herself as Athena went to talk to Lisa to see what was she interested in. As she talked to her about the type of tattoo she wanted, presenting some sketches too for her to choose, Y/n looked around, praying she wouldn't see Jungkook while being there. 

“What about you? What kind of design did you think of?” She asked Y/n, giving her a genuine smile. "First time? You don't have to stress about it honey, it's most likely for you not to feel a thing"

“Ohh I didn’t think of anything... You see I was totally caught up on this. I didn't know I was coming so I didn'--- "

“Her idea was to make a semicolon on her wrist. Something simple. Y/n, babe, we talked about this. You’re not gonna chicken out right?” Y/n looked at her friend and her answer shocked herself more than anyone else in the room. “Okay. Yes you’re right Lisa. I’m already here so why not?” Lisa opened her mouth, closing it up immediately, smiling. Change comes with little steps. 

One step at a time

Athena showed Lisa some ideas until she finally chose what she liked the most. She was getting a sternum tattoo and the sketch Athena did was a piece of art, all those lines and details were just too perfect. She then excused herself to pick something up, disappearing for about 2 minutes, that's all it took for disaster to happen. While they were waiting for her to return they saw Jungkook walk through the door with two coffees. As he placed them on a small table in the entrance, Y/n realizes he didn't see them there, at least not until Athena returned to the room and spoke to him, causing him to look up where they were standing.

"Yooh Jkaay I'm glad you got here. Can you finish this design for me? I have these two pretty ladies here and the client will come by later to see if the drawing is ready but there are some parts I'm having trouble getting right, can you help me with this?” As soon as Jungkook looked up, he met Y/n's gaze, which was already focused on him. He had no reaction. “Hey lover boy. I know they’re pretty but I’m kinda waiting for an answer here” 

“Hmmm.. Oh yeah- yes. You can leave it there I’ll be sure to give it a look.” his gaze was intense as it met yours but didn't say anything, as if he didn't know you. Athena thanked him and directed the two of them to a large room. While her friend took her shirt off and laid down on her back, Athena settled everything on the sterilized table. Y/n was inspecting the drawings on the wall, realizing Jungkook's signature on the end of all of them. After placing the artwork where Lisa wanted Athena grabbed the tattoo machine, filling the room with the sounds the needles working and Y/n got scared. She was sure that was gonna hurt. 10 minutes in there's a knock on the door. After Athena replied, Jungkook walked in the room with what Y/n thought was the drawing she asked him to check. 

“This is fantastic Kook. If the idiot doesn't like it I'll have it myself. It's incredible." Jungkook smiled and looked at Y/n and then at Athena again. "This is going to be a lot of work Ath. It's full of details and has such a thin line. You have to be careful not to smudge as you clean it." 

"I know, I hadn't realized that. It's going to be a challenge but it'll look cool on her body. I still have her friend to tattoo but that’s something small and quick.”  Jungkook looked at her way.

“I can do it. I’m free and won’t have any client until noon.” Y/n froze in the moment. No fucking way. 

"I can wait. It's okay, really." Jungkook looked at her, picked up some still-closed material and opened the door. "Come on, I'll take care of it." And for a second, Y/n didn't know how to breathe anymore

Jungkook was waiting for her to follow him. When he noticed she wasn't moving at all he called out for her name again. Unconsciously, Y/n ended up getting up and going after him but she didn't leave without looking at the place Athena and Lisa were, noticing the strange expression Athena made. Had Jungkook ever mentioned her?

He went ahead, taking her to a more private room which was on the first floor. It was quite far from all the other rooms and common area. When they arrived there, he motioned for her to sit in front of what she assumed was Jungkook's desk. There were photos of several people, she doesn’t remember meeting any of them until one got her attention: it was a picture of Jungkook and Sewoon together. He was wearing white and she was wearing a black dress. She remembers this day very well- It was in the beginning of their relationship and Sewoon was having a party with her agency and Jungkook was her date, they were both so pretty and cuddly and looked so into each other. Jungkook was treating her like a princess and it was the first time Y/n felt anger towards her best friend. She cried all night after getting home, spying Sewoon's instagram and all the love-dovey pics she was posting. What a night

He sat on the chair in front of Y/n, behind his desk to sketch what she wanted to tattoo when he noticed where her eyes were wandering at, grabbing the picture and putting it in a drawer. She didn’t say anything, looking everywhere but him. 

“According to Athena you wanted just a simple semicolon on your wrist, right? So I did sketch want you wanted but added something more. If you don’t like it or want it you can say it and I'll do just what you initially wanted okay?” Jungkook showed her a design of a semicolon with a butterfly wing around it. It was honestly so beautiful. She remembers saying to him one time she identified herself as a butterfly, because no matter the situation she was going through she could always adapt herself and learn from it. Did he remember that?

“I- I love it Jungkook. This is so pretty and personal, I- Thank you, this is amazing. I’ll have it that way”  

“Are you sure? It’s gonna be there forever” 

“I’m 100% sure. Start this before I lose my courage” Jungkook gave her a nod, taking the paper and putting it on her skin with some wet liquid. He could tell she was nervous so he told her when he was about to start. “If you need me to stop let me know. We have time okay?” Y/n nodded  

“You have amazing sketches here. Not that I didn't know but you're super talented, I feel grateful that it’s you doing this on me. When you become a world-renowned artist I'm gonna brag about it, I’m already warning you.” After their fight yesterday, Y/n was trying to ease the tension between them but he was making it hard. She missed Jungkook and wanted to clear things up with him. She was done with all the confusion and misunderstandings, however, Jungkook remained in silence. “Please Jungkook I’m trying. I miss you. I miss us. I don’t even understand what happened yesterday and I’m sorry for hurting you in any way. I’m tired of this! You're driving me crazy by leaving me in this void. I'm not like this Jk, you know it. I don't care about boys but just the thought of losing you is killing me. That's the effect you have on me!”  He wasn’t paying attenton to her at all, or maybe he was just ignoring her on purpose, either ways she was getting more and more frustrated and did her best to keep her tears to herself since she couldn't get out of there. With her free hand, she surreptitiously wiped her eyes with her shirt sleeve. What she didn’t know was that Jungkook was paying attention to all her movements.

“I’m sorry. I talk a lot with my clients for them to relax a bit but with you... I feel like if I talk I'm not gonna be able to concentrate and I don’t want to mess this up. You make me nervous just with your presence. That's the effect you have on me Y/n. When it comes to you I can't separate things”  

"I could’ve waited for Athena to do it. Actually I think it’d be better, given the situation we are at right now. Damn Jungkook I put my guard down for you and now you're treating me like this, what for? You criticize me for avoiding things, yet you're doing the exact same thing, it's not fair. You can't say whatever you want, make me feel bad and then do the same to me. I know I messed up somewhere. I know I should've been braver, but you are such a special and necessary part of my life that I was afraid of you not feeling the same way, could break everything we built so far, which is stupid right now because that's exactly what happened. There is no way we can go back to what we were before” By the time she ended her speech, Jungkook was already putting the final touches on the tattoo, being done with it. Both of them remained silenced until he had picked up the tattoo protection to place it around her skin. 

“Let’s do it then. Let’s put everything on the table and be honest because honestly I can’t handle this anymore too. Where do you want me to start? From the day we first met? I had the shittiest day ever it was raining so much. That’s what made me stop at the coffee shop. Then you looked absolutely gorgeous standing there looking at me and when you noticed I was staring back and pretended to have lost an earring, that caught my attention, how innocent and naive you looked. Then I started to get to know you better and it was it for me. It was so hard not to fall for you. I kept taking you out to places but you always friendzoned me somehow, I would tell you about non existing dates to see your reaction but you always had the same posture, I came to terms that it was a one-sided thing. Then Sewoon happened. When you introduced us, honestly I was very straightforward with her. I asked her about you, if you liked someone if you ever talked about me, you know, something to give me hope. But the answers she gave me weren’t the ones I expected to hear and I was so disappointed.” Y/n's system was soon on alert.  

“What- - What did she tell you?”  Jungkook took a while to answer which was making her impatient. She was about to lose her mind.  

“She told me you were seeing someone and it was getting serious. That she was sorry but wouldn’t get in the way. After that, we kept talking a little more and when I was about to leave she was the one asking me to go out with her. Just a simple date so I said yes, maybe that would help me take my mind of you.  Then things happened and time skipped and we broke up and yeah I didn’t take that well because no one likes to feel they failed at something, but I’m so glad we did. We didn’t align in anything, we fought a lot behind doors. Then came the party you and Sewoon went. I was already there remember? You looked so sad and the first thing I remembered was the guy you were supposed to be seeing. I was hoping you were long gone with the dude but the way you were acting and how you were talking to me ended up confirming Sewoon’s words about you and that special someone and I--- I lost my mind.”  

“So you ended up kissing Sewoon to relieve all that anger, right?”  She got up and slowly turned her way towards the door when Jungkook grabbed her arm.

“That was a terrible mistake. As soon as I realized what I did I stepped back immediately. After that I looked everywhere for you, but I didn’t found you. When I did, you told me you were leaving with someone and that was it. I tried talking to you all night but your phone was either out of reach or you wouldn’t respond.”  There's this awkward silence until one of them spok again.

“That night broke me Jungkook. You broke me. I was there, I was hurt and you noticed something was up but all your eyes were looking at was Sewoon. I wished so many times it was me you were kissing, holding, touching. I'd see you with her and all I imagined was us. That was so toxic of me, that's why I left, because I couldn't see you leave with her knowing the next day I'd know everything about it."

They didn't realize how close they were until they felt each other's breath hitting their faces. Y/n doesn't know when things changed, but since the night at the restaurant there is something that pushes them towards each other. She gets a strange feeling in her belly, in her chest… down there. It's strange, she never felt something like this for anyone and it was confusing her. She knows if he asked her something she'd do it on the spot. It seems like Jungkook could feel the tension either because the hand that was previously on her arm was now around her waist, while the other caressed the right side of her face tucking some hair behind her ear. It was then that she felt the distance between them getting shorter and shorter, when all of a sudden they heard someone knock on the door, opening it, revealing Athena's slightly confused figure.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt, I heard voices and came to check if you were okay, as it's not usual for you to bring anyone here. I-- hmm- just wanted to let you know that I finished Lisa's piece and we're downstairs drinking some coffee and talking in case you'd want to join us when you finished whatever you were.... doing, but no pressure, make yourself comfortable, I didn't see anything. Use protection, okay? You still have a life to enjoy before any surprises." Jungkook made a desperate sound looking at Athena and throwing something at her

"Don't be an idiot, it's not what it looks like and you know it. Anyone hearing you talk would think you see me doing a lot of dirty things here. Work is work and I take it very seriously." Jungkook paused, glacing at Y/n, just to speak again. " We'll meet you downstairs in 10 minutes, I just need to finish explaining how she should handle this in the next few days." Athena hummed, giving them a nod before leaving. However, they heard her tell Lisa that - they were busy and would probably take longer to joy them- They knew she spoke loud for them to hear. Jungkook went to a drawer and took out a cream, handing it to Y/n.

"For the next three days you must avoid direct sunlight on the area. This protection should last for 24 hours, then you can remove it in the shower or by wetting the area with warm water, drying it well and applying the cream two or three times a day. If you feel any itching, that's normal, but if you see red spots around it let me know so I can check it out. But in principle, everything should be fine." Y/n nodded and thanked him, grabbing her wallet, heading towards the door but stopped halfway and turned around, facing Jungkook.

"Did you sleep with Sewoon here?"those words came out faster than Y/n could control. Why the hell did she ask that. Jungkook wasn't expecting that either, because his mouth opened and closed several times, not knowing what to answer, a little embarrassed. This gave Y/n a feeling that maybe the answer was yes. "Never mind, sorry, I don't know why I asked this. Forget it." She turned around again ready to open the door. She was about to do so when a hand above her head slammed the door shut again with a bang.

"Why do you always put me in difficult positions? It's past and - aiish- No Y/n, I didn't. This is my office, my space, my privacy, I don't bring anyone for anything more than work, not even Sewoon. This wasn't exactly the space she liked to frequent the most" Y/n nodded.

"I don't know why I asked, I'm sorry. Being here knowing that you and her were- you know- that would be just weird and gross. I mean, who knows what kind of "things" would be around here and-- Okay, nevermind. How about we go down? They're waiting for us and will start thinking stuff about us being here."

"So? Let them think what they want to think.. I'm not bothered at all. Are you?" When Y/n was about to answer, the door opened without warning revealing an excited Athena again, but she didn't realize that when she opened the door she had hit Y/n with it. "Shit Ath be careful. Knock before coming in. Jesus"

"Dude, I don't know what the situation is between you two, but behind the door is definitely not the best place. Been there, done that. It's interesting but not comfortable. Also, why are you so bothered by the knocking thing all of a sudden? That was never a rule. Just put something on the door handle to when you're busy doing other things. That's what I do with your broth-"

"Aiiiishh Athena. I'm not really interested in what you and my brother do or don't do, How disgusting. We were just talking! Stop being nosy and up on my ass. What's the matter with you today? why are you always coming here thought? You never care when I’m upstairs”

“Well you’re always by yourself, there’s nothing for me to pry on. Either way, I came here to tell you that the client you had for noon called to inform he’s no longer able to come. His wife went into labour, so you’re free for now”

“Well at least is for some good reasons. I’ll call him up later to reschedule.” Athena would steal glances from Jungkook to Y/n with a funny look, trying to see something she could pick up to tease them more “Anyway, I think I’ll grab lunch with Lisa. She’s pretty rad. Do you wanna come?” It was Y/n’s turn to speak

“I actually have some things to get done, but you go and have fun. Maybe we can grab a coffee later?” All she wanted was to run. After that stupid question she made she just wanted somewhere to hide.

“Of course, just give me your number. It’ll be easier” they both switched numbers and Athena gave a final goodbye to her, giving her a hug and winking to Jungkook, whispering behave before shutting the door completely. What the hell.

“So... The girls are leaving and you probably have things to do too so I should get going as well. I have to meet up with Joon, he asked me if I could stop by so hmmm, yeah. Thanks for your time. If - if I have any questions I’ll pass by. Thank you once again." This was her cue to leave. Uttering those words she was out of the door, running down the stairs getting closer and closer to the main door but when she reached it, it was locked.

Goddamn it!

She was thinking about calling Lisa to turn around and wait for her when she heard footsteps behind her. She didn't dare to look back but in question of minutes she felt Jungkook's chest against her back, hearing him whisper

"Why are you always in such a rush when it comes to me? What are you so afraid of?" Jungkook turned her around to face him. "Let yourself go Y/n. For me, for you, for us. We've been over the friendship thing for a while now, don't you think? No matter how much you try to deny it, the attraction is here" He was so close to her she could feel his heartbeat.

"I can't" She whispered. "Everytime I look at you I get myself reminded of how you used to be with Sewoon. There was her before me and I can't compare. I can't erase that image of my head. I- I want to forget, but I can't"

"I'll help you forget. Let me help you forget, but mainly let me show you how there's no comparison between you and her" They were so close and there was so much desire so she let herself go and feel all she wanted, grabbing Jungkook by the hem of his grey shirt and closing the distance between them. The response to the kiss was automatic. Y/n felt Jungkook kiss her back as if he had already been waiting for this moment. Slowly at first, like they were testing each other, until he slowly pushed her against the door, placing his hand behind her neck, deepening the kiss. She never had a kiss like that. At this point she felt the entire zoo inside her and she was aware of everything around her: of how Jungkook's hands were hovering over her body, how their mouths were thirsty for each other, the way their bodies were so close yet so far.

It was just them and their desire for each other. And at that moment that was all that mattered.

Bonus: The famous tattoos made

Lisa’s OC'S

You're welcome ;)

Previous / Next

Tags: @esposadomd @joonlover1207 @eegyo @furrywonderlandwolf @minghaosimp @differentrunawayperson @nikkinikj @jksusawife @jk97bam @cryingoverpixelsetc @bhonbhon @lostinneocity @almostpurplelady @meowforluv @imagine-this-motherfucker @jk-190811 @cryingoverpixelsetc @11thenightwemet11 @rinkud @ayatie97 @jk-190811 @shaku1995 @blueberriesm @darkangelfei

[arclic-stuff]

What's been missing

Pairing: Lilia Calderu x fem!reader

Synopsis: You and Lilia have been dating for a few months, but she has felt you becoming distant over the last week. She confronts you, and you open up about your issues with intimacy.

Warnings: smut(18+), sexual tension, teasing, fluff, slight angst?, mentions of bad past relationships and intimacy issues, praise, fingering, begging, cunnilingus, petnames?, sort of dirty talk?

Word count: 3.1k

Author's note: This is the product of burnout and loosely based on my own experiences, whoops. Also, my first time writing smut, in case you couldn't tell lol. I've read over it but honestly fuck it y'all will get the vibe regardless of typos. Feedback is welcome, hope you enjoy!

READ ON AO3

MASTERLIST

The harsh bathroom light hurts your eyes as you contemplate your next move. You and Lilia have been dating for a few months since you started tarot lessons with the witch. The two of you clicked and soon the friendship developed further into a relationship that feels so right. All was going well until tonights movie date.

Apart from the occasional make out, things hadn't progressed far on the intimacy side of your relationship. Due to bad experiences in the past, you're hesitant to get intimate with her in case it goes badly and scares her off. So when her hand began to creep up your leg during the movie, you panicked. And so, you've been sitting in the bathroom for the last 15 minutes thinking of what to do.

Knowing you can't hide forever, you head back to your living room towards the couch. Lilia smiles as you approach before looking back at the TV. You sit down next to her, trying to focus on the movie, but Lilia has other plans. Once again, her hand finds your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze as she moves higher. Of course, it feels nice, but you dont know what to do with the feelings, so you shift on the couch, moving to the far end of the couch. You feel Lilia's head turn, but you ignore it, hoping for the moment to pass. Lilia sits for a moment before reaching for the remote, turning off the film.

"(y/n) has something happened?" Lilia turns to face you, worry painted across her face as she prepares for the worst.

"No, I'm fine" You offer a weak smile hoping it is convincing but her face remains the same.

"No, you're not. Why are you pulling away from me? And I don't just mean tonight, this whole week you've been distant. If something's happened between us, I need to know."

Sometimes you forgot how observant Lilia is. You struggle to find the words to explain yourself, instead sitting in silence trying to string together a sentence. The silence is too much for Lilia to bare and so she stands up.

"I should go, I don't know what I've done but I'm sorry. Goodnight (y/n)" The older woman tries and fails to hide the wobble in her voice as she rushes to get her jacket. You rise to your feet to follow after her.

"No please don't go. You've done nothing wrong" You rush to stand between her and the door, reaching for her hand which she pulls away.

"Then why?" Lilia asks, looking at you for an explanation. Struggling to find the words, you grab her hand and pull her back into the living room to sit down on the couch, hoping the movement can give her time to think. The silence of the space mixed with Lilia's pleading eyes pulls the words out of your mouth before you can stop them. Closing your eyes, you explain your issues with intimacy from your last relationship, how you're terrified of going further with her in case you mess it up, but also at the same time how you yearn for her and didn't know how to communicate it without sounding crazy.

You open your eyes, bracing for her reaction, but instead she looks at you with nothing but understanding, "Thank you for telling me this. How are you feeling now?"

"Good, it's been hard keeping it to myself. It's so confusing, I want us to get closer, but it scares me" You fidget with your hands, moving slightly towards Lilia without realising, meanwhile she sits back on the couch.

"We can start small?" Lilia opens her arms to you, inviting you closer, and you accept. Lying in Lilia's arms feels like a reward for finally being open with her and yourself. You sink into her chest as her arms envelope you. Lilia hums as she feels you relax in her arms and starts rubbing your back absentmindedly, making you press into her more.

"We can go at whatever pace you need Dolcezza" Her hand continues on it's path drifitng up and down your spine, making you shudder with every movement, her other hand moves your hair out your face.

"We're in no rush, we can try things out together when you're ready" Lilia plants a gentle kiss on your temple, sighing. Something about how gentle she is being with you fills you with curiousity, urges you haven't allowed youself to dwell on resurfacing with every touch.

"What if I want to try things now" You blurt it out trying to hide you face from the woman.

"Oh? What kind of things?"

You shrug, making Lilia chuckle, "Well, we need some ideas first" 

The hand on your back drifts down towards your waist, making you shiver.

"Do you like being touched like this?" Lilia's voice sounds more suggestive, as if she is being affected just as much as you. You hum as she continues rubbing your back, every often moving back to your waist then hip, making you whimper slightly, but once again lilia notices.

"How did you ex touch you?"

"Not like this" 

"That's not what I asked baby, what did they do? What did you like or dislike? Its okay you can tell me" 

"They never did things like this, it was just sex"

"What do you mean just sex" 

"You know sex sex" 

"Honey do you mean no foreplay?" 

You look up confused, as if it's an alien concept.

"Oh my God that explains so much" 

"There's more to relationships than sex, sweetheart, of course that's nice, but being caressed, worshipped, loved, that's different"

You stare at her in shock, shock of how simple the issue had been. It wasn't the intimacy you had issues with, it was the lack of.

"Can you keep going please?"

Lilia smirks tucking your hair behind your ear.

"Of course love, like this?" Lilia continues to rub your back, going in long movements covering your shoulders, waist, hip bone, it makes you fall back into her arms, head in chest, hand gripping her upper arm as she runs her nails lightly down your spine.

"Is this okay?" She using her other hand to caress your face thumb rubbing your cheek. You nod before nuzzling into her neck again, shifting closer to her in the process.

"(Y/n), I need an answer" 

"Yes" 

"Do you want anything else?" You look away awkwardly, still unsure how to verbalise your thoughts, instead trying to avoid her eye. "Do you want me to stop?" 

"What? No dont" 

"Then what do you want? This is about you right now" Lilia pulls your head out her neck so her mouth is against your ear.

"I just want to make you feel good baby, what can I do?" 

Feeling her breath against your ear gives you new found confidence and without thinking you sit up and move to sit on her lap, straddling her thighs. Lilias eyes widen at the sudden action, keeping her hands at her side, not wanting to push you any further. You slump, fidgeting with your hands unsure what to do now the two of you are face to face. Lilia senses your nerves, moving to hold you hands, making you look up.

"What can I do?" She whispered. Trying to act on instinct, you move her hands to your hips, bottom lip between teeth.

"Show me what I've been missing" 

"Are you sure?" 

"Please, Lilia" 

"Come here then" She hums looking down at you lips. Slowly you lean forward and finally kiss Lilia. It's soft, gentle, quick like the ones you've shared before, but this time it isn't just a sign of affection. Lilia moves her hand to the back of your neck, pulling you in for another kiss. This one goes on for longer, and has more heat contained within. Lips moving against eachother, hands finding Lilia's shoulders and neck.

Lilia's hands are still glued to your body, squeezing your hipbone, advancing upwards but this time under the barrier of your shirt making you sigh into the kiss. Her hand goes further up then comes down quick, nails lightly scratching on the way done. The action makes you break the kiss, pulling back to gasp.

"You okay?" lilia says lips grazing your jaw.

"Yes.." 

"Yes? And?" 

"Yes and keep going please" You whimper gripping onto her shoulders as if it's the only thing stopping you from combusting

"How about we take this to the other room hm?" Lilia tilts her head to look up at you, hands running across your thighs. You nod eagerly, standing up, pulling her up with you. The two of you head for your bedroom, Lilia stops at the doorway, slipping off her shoes before entering after you.

It occurs to you suddenly that Lilias never been in your room before. You feel self-concious about the space, the cluttered bedside table, piles of clothes, and the work desk with your sketches and projects spread out across the surface. Lilia inquisitively looks around the room as she takes off her robe, folding it over your chair. Her eyes settle on the sketches looking at them with genuine interest.

"Are these the commissions you mentioned earlier?" Lilia glances at the open sketchbook infront of her, you come to stand beside her pointing out a seperate drawing.

"Those are just warm up doodles, this is the actual work, it's been a very interesting process actually," You go on to explain when you feel hands snake around your wasit, realising Lilia has moved to stand behind you, looking over your shoulder at the drawing.

"Continue please" she rests her chin on your shoulder listening to you try and continue with what you where saying. You do try to keep talking but Lilia starts kissing your shoulder, hands gliding across your stomach resting on your hips, pulling you in closer. Somehow, she manages to continue asking questions about your work, asking about the process, the inspiration, showing interest in your work aswell as your body.

You can only take so much. The questions, the attention, the compliments, it all makes you feel light headed and wound up. It makes you turn around and crash your lips against hers, starting to back her up towards the bed, pushing her down.

Lilia looks up with a smug smirk, perched up on her elbows watching you catch your breath, the eye contact makes you shiver and suddenly feel self-concious. She moves on the bed to create space for you to join her, which you do, lying down so you're both facing eachother.

"How are you feeling now?" Lilia whispers, hand reaching out to trace your arm and side. You reach out towards her pulling her up to lean on her elbow.

"Like I need you on top of me" You huff, trying to pull her, but she stays where she is, running a hand along your jaw.

"Are you sure (y/n)? I dont want to push you too much" Lilia pulls her hand away but you grab it before it goes too far.

"I know, but I want you to" You kiss her palm before taking one of her fingers into your mouth. As you slowly suck, you look up at her with pleading eyes. The actions make Lilia's jaw clench, eyes darkening. Realising it's working, you lie down on the pillows, laying your arms up, resting around it. Making Lilia chuckle, she sits up.

"This is quite the view" Lilia moves to sit infront of you, gently guiding your knees apart, shifting to hover above you. Having her this close in this position makes your breath hitch, bottom lip going between your teeth.

"Aw do I make your nervous baby?"

She kisses you, hips pressing down into yours, making you moan at the sensation. She continues kissing you, going to kiss your neck again. She moves the collar of your shirt to find new skin, making you start undoing the buttons of your shirt, she swats your hand away.

"That's my job, Dolcezza" She unbuttons your shirt before pushing it off your shoulders, runs hands up your side, stopping just under your bra, making your back arch.

"Absoluting stunning my love, may I?" Lilia hooks her finger under a bra strap, you node shifting to give her access to the clasp. Lilia takes it off tossing it across the room. Her lips meet yours again as she palms at your chest, making you whine into her mouth, legs tightening around her waist keeping her close.

You roll your hips, she sits back looking at the mess she's turned you into, topless, messy hair, love bites painted across your neck and chest, but what she loves the most is your expression, the heavy eyelids, gaze fulled with lust, pure relatation and arousal. This is exactly how she wanted you, sunken between pillows, relaxed, needy.

"You look so good like this," Lilia ghosts across your lips, pulling back when you lean in. She keeps you like this, right on the precipice of contact, she moves to drift along your neck, breath fanning over you as you shiver. She settles next to your ear as she whispers, "Do you like how I take care of you baby?"

You whine at the words, unable to speak. Lilia moves to face you again holding your chin so you can't look away.

"What else can I do " She cooes placing quick kisses on your lips, "Where do you want me?" You look down, gesturing to your core. Lilia follows your gaze but returns a faux puzzled face, "I don't know what you mean?"

"Yes you do Lilia!" You try to move her hand down but she pulls it away to graze your inner thigh, just off where you need her.

"I can't do anything until you tell me what to do, please baby I want to take care of you" The hand on your inner thigh tightens. Finally you snap out of frustration, hands covering your face as you give her what she wants.

"I need you to fuck me Lilia, please however you want" Your hands are pealed away from your face, Lilia's fingers lacing between yours. She takes in your dishevealed appearance, how you lean forward waiting for her next move.

"That's a good girl", you gasp at the petname and Lilia notices, leaning in to ghost over your lips, "Thats my good girl"

Her lips crash on yours with a new hunger behind them. Teeth clashing, tongues advancing into each other's mouths, making both of you moan at the new territory. Lilia's hand fidgets with the belt loops on your jeans, pulling you closer. Wanting to speed things along, you reach between your bodies, undoing the button and zipper. Before Lilia can fully pull away and make a quick remark, you pull her bottom lip between your teeth, making her shiver for the first time tonight.

She eagerly pulls your jeans and underwear off in one go, the cold air of the room finding your exposed skin, goosebumps covering in its wake. Lilia kisses you once more before moving down your body to rest between your legs. The vulnerability and anticipation battle within you, stuck between rolling your hips in her face and shutting your legs from her, which is met with hands gripping your inner thighs.

"None of that", Lilia looks up at you through heavy eyes as she starts kissing and sucking on the flesh adjacent to your core. Her hand rubs the other thigh, helping to soothe any anxieties you have as she continues her assault on your skin. You gasp when you feel her teeth sink in, imprinting a similar mark on your thigh to the ones decorating your neck and chest. The sting of the bite mixes with the heat in your core, making you feel dizzy, unable to imagine how it gets better than this.

That was when she ran her tongue up your folds. Slow and gentle at first as you adjusted to the feeling, applying more pressure with her tongue alternating between long strips and sucking on your clit, making you arch your back and grip the bedsheets benneth you. You feel yourself tense up, closing in around nothing, making you whine at the emptiness. You grab her shoulders, clawing her to come back up to you. Lilia looks at you with concern, which you quickly resolve with your next request.

"Your hand," you pant, guiding her hand down between you, "I need you inside me," you whisper against her smiling lips. She moves to hover above you again with her hand exploring your core. She keeps her eyes glued to you as she gathers wetness on her fingers, teasing your entrance with her middle fingertip.

"I don't think it's just my fingers you want" Lilia moves so her face is inches from you, filling your eyeline with nothing but her inquisitive face. "I think you just want all my attention. You want to be touched here," She punctuates the last word with two fingers slipping inside you, watching you moan, "but you want me up here too, kissing you, looking at you, talking to you. You're a bit greedy, aren't you?" She starts thrusting her fingers, rocking her hips into you as well. Your legs find her waist again, giving her a better angle to curl her fingers.

"I want to hear you say it baby, say you're greedy"

Your hands fly to her back, scratching into her shoulders, the knot in your stomach tightening as your knuckles turn white around her arms. "I'm greedy, oh god Lilia!" You nearly scream as she adds a third finger and increases the pace to a brutal speed.

"Good girl, you can come now go on baby" Her encouragements are all you need to go over the edge. The climax runs over you, clouding you mind, stilling your body as you gradually come back down to earth. When you open your eyes, Lilia is already heading for the bathroom where she washs her hands and gets a wash cloth. When she comes back, she cleans you up then pulls you back against her chest like how this started on the couch.

"You did so well Dolezza" Lilia runs her hands along your back, feeling you shift against her. You start moving your hand down her body towards her stomach. You go to touch her further but is stopped by her hand moving it back to rest on her chest.

"But I want to-" You start when Lilia kisses you tenderly. "I know you do, but this was about you. I got what I needed, now rest, please baby" She lays her head back against the headboard, smirking.

"And besides, we have plenty of time for that later"

[buckevantommy]

oh, look: another 8x11 fixit! this time with Tommy + Henren, set soonafter Tommy reconnects with Buck for real - where they actually talked and decided to give things a better go..

Hen was still cackling. Tommy slumps back in the booth, offended. "It's not that funny." Maybe he hasn't reached the point where he can look back and laugh about it, but Hen's reaction seems a little overkill.

She manages to reel herself in and even out enough to say - through a sly grin, "Boy, you oughta know by now Buck is a damn baby koalabear— he clings— to everyone. It's what he does."

Tommy bristles. Hen isn't the first to infantalize Evan. Tommy admits he's guilty of it himself, but he's aware of that - and more - and has been course correcting, mindful of such damaging trains of thought and curbing them before they make it out of his mouth or dictate his behaviour in ways that are unfair to Evan, and which don't reflect well on Tommy.

"I know he cares, Henrietta, that's not-"

Hen pulls her drink away from her mouth to cut him off, hands waving. "I mean— I thought your gaydar was better than that— 'cause you got Buck!"

Tommy huffs, preparing an explanation Hen probably won't be receptive to right now: about how close friendships between straight and queer men usually mean things are a little curvy. And tacking on something about how he didn't know about Buck - he'd hoped and took a leap, believing at the very least Evan wouldn't be disgusted or sock him in the jaw about it.

Maybe for the best, Karen saves him the trouble. She pats at her wife's wrist, eyes on Tommy as she says, "I get it. There was a time when I wondered, too. But I wasn't as close to Eddie as Hen was so I didn't see the details. I was filling in the blanks with my imagination for a fuller picture," gesturing broadly with her wineglass.

Tommy finds his head bobbing along in agreement. It was the things he didn't witness as much as those he did. Looking back now, and looking at the present, he sees how his insecurities colored his interpretation - again, being unfair to Evan. And to Eddie. There's a whole half-life of toxic masculinity still messing with his perception of people and intentions - it says: two men can't be that close unless it's romantic or sexual, because men aren't capable of that kind of platonic emotional vulnerability, because straight men don't bend that way, the way Tommy tried to emulate for decades - even after years of working so damn hard to be free of that sabotaging mindset and of those stigmas.

"Thankyou, Karen." It's nice to be vindicated, even if they both turned out to be wrong. It's nice to not feel alone in his lack of knowing.

Karen nods, her smile kind and commiserating as her other hand pats at the wrist of Tommy's outstretched arm. He'd leaned forward at some point, reached out. Notices the collection of bottles and glasses scattered around them on the table and distantly acknowledges that he's drunk more than his ususal few for social interactions. He sways a little as he leans back against the worn vinyl of their go-to lowkey queer-friendly bar. It's not a badge n' ladder because this isn't about work, and because there's something innately comforting about being in a queer space with queer friends.

If they are friends. Kinda feels like they are. Feels good to spend time with Evan's people on his own, to know they want to spend time with him without Evan. Even if it means being the target of Hen's ribbing. He knows she's not laughing at his expense, mostly. She is, but she isn't. Karen gets it.

"I'm glad you two got there," says Karen, eyes soft and sparkling.

"Me too," says Tommy, mind wandering to recently made memories of Evan's sunbright smile and skybright eyes. To the mop of curls he'd buried his nose in and planted a good morning kiss there. To the sleep-steady breaths condensing in the dip of his collarbone and the comfortable body-warm weight anchoring him to a bed he was once afraid of leaving - every single time - because nothing was concrete and the good thing they had going could end at any moment, he could lose it, lose Evan without much warning; rogue tide eroding the sand beneath their hastily built relationship.

It feels different this time. Sturdy. Like the foundations they're building on aren't going to crumble at some indeterminate point in the near future. Like he doesn't need to enjoy it while it lasts because they both want it to last, to be each other's last.

"I love him," Tommy says, still half adrift in thoughts of Evan. "You asked my intentions, once. You should know: I'm in this for the long haul. We both are." The words don't come as shaky as he might've thought; it's still scary, but they're in this together and they've talked about the scary things. They know what each other is feeling. Evan knows what a mess Tommy is and he wants him anyway. Tommy's lips quirk up in fondness. He has to bite back the smile that grows sudden and exponentially as he thinks: ..and he loves me.

A cheer goes up on the other side of the bar and Tommy raises his head to it. His gaze catches on the twin set of eyes on him shining in the dim barlight, the matching smiles that seem to say: we're happy for you, we're proud of you, we're rooting for you so don't screw it up this time.

It feels like friendship. Like something close to family.

Hen tips her drink to the centre of the table, "Cheers to that," and Karen lifts her wineglass.

Tommy tilts his beer to meet them. "Cheers." It's certainly something worth celebrating. Finally, he has someone to hold onto who wants to be held, someone who holds him strong and true right back.

[ohdeerfully]

hi! I have a request, I've never really done this before but I'll give it a shot. so my request is that Charlie is tasked by heaven to watch over a very special human soul via a device that is like a full 360 VR kind of setup and this soul just so happens to be Alastor's immortal wife (he didn't know she was) whom he thought had died with him during a bad event and wound up in heaven but she didn't and She stayed the same since the 1930s like her looks stayed the same and her love for Alastor stayed too she never once tried to move on even when her new friends in this time tried to get her a guy but she just refused still wearing the wedding ring her gave her

I hope it's not too much to ask it can be changed to whatever you see if you have full creative control over it!

thank you for your brain anon

theres a couple awkward POV shifts in the story and im super duper sorry about that D: im not good at those

An Eternity

alastor x reader (angst) TW: reader is female, reader gets a lil drunk and drives but shes fine(i do not condone this pls dont drink and drive im so serious), yearning goes ouchie ):

join my discord!

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Alastor rarely, if ever, talked about his time alive. He saw it pointless; a waste of time and energy. How could it benefit him if somebody else knew his history? If anything, it would only open up weak points. And, being an Overlord, he couldn’t afford that.

The only hint of his past was a band on his finger that he never took off. Even after decades in Hell, nobody saw him without it.

People often asked, of course, because how in the Hell did the Radio Demon get hitched? Even in life, he was probably just as unusual and off putting. These questions were always met with a dismissive wave and a laugh, but anybody who knew him—which wasn’t many, truly—would recognize the strain in his voice as he brushed them off. Whatever the story was seemed to only grow more painful with time.

He was deep in thought, humming absently as he trailed through the hotel. He ended up meandering by Charlie’s room, which was cracked open. He took this as an invitation to let himself in, cheerfully grinning as he saw the girl sitting on the edge of her bed looking extremely confused.

“Hello, dear!” He announced himself, standing up straight and fixing his bowtie with one hand. “What does this afternoon have in store for the Princess of Hell?”

“Heyy, Al,” Charlie responded, still frowning at the contraption in her hand. It was a rather bulky thing; an unappealing piece of new technology, Alastor decided. Still, he loomed from behind Charlie with a curious bend in his neck. Her shoulders were stiff, and he couldn’t tell if it was from frustration with the thing in her hand or discomfort at him watching her. 

“What is that peculiar thing?” He finally asked, since Charlie made no attempt at explanation. She seemed too focused to really pay him any mind.

“Something Heaven gave me to watch some curious soul they can’t control,” She murmured, fiddling with a couple buttons and knobs. “They’ve got me doing some ridiculous things. I mean, some human soul shouldn’t even concern me. But, they promise these favors will help with my hotel.”

Alastor hummed in response. He of all demons would recognize a manipulation tactic when he saw one—convincing a powerful demon princess to do your chores and promising to help her desperate project in return seemed like something the angels would do. He didn’t care one way or another, as long as Charlie’s naivete didn’t get in the way of his own goals.

He took a few steps back when Charlie stood, seemingly finished with setting up the box. He grinned, amused, when she pulled it over her head. It wasn’t the most flattering thing, and pretty bulky on her face. She looked ridiculous, honestly.

“Modern technology,” He sighed dramatically, leaning down onto his cane as he continued to observe her. “Only getting uglier.”

Charlie didn’t respond to his comment, looking around at what Alastor saw as nothing. She played around with the settings again, and adjusted the straps on her head again, before looking around again. She let out a successful sounding “hell yes” before pulling a remote of sorts from her pocket. She pushed on a joystick.

“What are you doing?” Alastor asked plainly, the building curiosity finally becoming too much. “Why do you have a box on your head?”

“It’s like…” She began to explain, trying to think of how to make sense of it to him. “Like… imagine you were looking through the eyes of somebody else, but still standing in the same spot..?” Her voice tilted at the end, unsure of her explanation.

Yeah, no, Alastor had no clue. But he dismissed it as unnecessary, as he often did with any technology he couldn’t understand.

“I’m seeing… Earth, I guess,” Charlie explained more. “Following around this girl.”

Alastor was only partially listening, humming quietly to himself as he just observed. He wondered if he should just leave—nothing interesting was happening. He was curious to see what antics Heaven was pushing on the Princess of Hell, though.

“Wanna try?” Charlie offered, lifting the headset up away from her eyes. Alastor immediately scrunched his nose up and narrowed his eyes.

“And look as ridiculous as you? Hah! No thank you,” He sat down on a chair near the wall, leaning against the back of it. He threw one leg up over the other. Charlie shrugged in response, and pulled the contraption back down.

Alastor sat for a while, absently thinking about what he wanted to do later as he waited for something to happen.

“Oh! Hold on,” Charlie suddenly said, causing Alastor’s ears to straighten to attention as she reached up and pressed a button. A holographic projection appeared out of nowhere, manifesting through some strange magic. “Forgot I could do that. This is what I’m seeing in here.” 

Alastor stood and walked closer, leaning forward on his cane as he studied the projection. It seemed like some kind of bar. He mused at how different modern bars looked from the speakeasies he would frequent during his own life.

“What heavenly task are you doing in a bar?” He joked, trying to find something interesting in the projection. It just seemed like generic bar business. Loud, flirtatious women and boisterous, over confident men. That, at least, was the same from his day.

“Like I said earlier,” Charlie explained, looking around the room. The projection seemed to follow her movement, and Alastor recognized that he was basically seeing through her eyes. How curious. “There’s some… soul they lost control of. And they want me to report to them about her.”

Alastor was very curious to see what kind of soul broke from control of literal heaven. He watched rather intently, leaned forward against his cane to watch the projection.

Charlie turned another knob, and the sound of tacky pop music and loud chatter began to emanate from the bar scene. Alastor wasn’t a fan of newer music, but he was often forced to listen anyway in the hotel lobby.

“Is it possible to turn down that dreadful noise?” He complained to her, announcing his dissatisfaction.

“No. I need to be able to hear what the woman is saying,” Charlie answered stubbornly. Alastor’s microphone of a cane began to obnoxiously play a song of his choice for a moment in retaliation, but died down after a few moments. After all, Charlie ignored his attempt at aggravation, so there was no point in keeping it up.

Charlie looked around the bar, searching. Finally, her gaze settled on a fancier booth with half drawn curtains. From her angle, she could only see a woman. She looked frustrated.

“---get out of your shell! It’s about time you start talking to some guys for once,” Charlie caught the tail end of the woman’s statement. She was gesturing wildly around, exasperation evident in the jagged movements. “I’m sick of watching you pine for somebody who’s been gone for ages.”

★

“Ten years isn’t ages, Mechiele,” You drew your finger against the table, making shapes with the rim of water that the condensation from your glass left. Nearly a hundred years, more like, You commented to yourself. You never told anybody that you were an immortal being. Nobody believed you when you did, anyway.

You sat your cheek against the palm of your hand and lifted your gaze to your friend, who looked at you with a sharp frown. You shot her a weak smile. 

“Can you just drop it?” You asked, nearly pleading. You didn’t want to cry tonight, being a little tipsy—you were an emotional drunk. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself blabbering about a dead husband.

“Come on,” Mechiele said impatiently, pushing your pleas aside. “There’s so many hot guys in here, I bet one would just love to take a piece of work like you home and-”

“Mechiele.” You hoped your tone was enough to shut her up.

You should’ve known better, honestly. Mechiele was already abrasive when she was sober, but with the amount of drinks she’s had tonight…

“No, no, no! You bum! Get your ass up right now and get out there! And take that ring off while you’re at it!”

Mechiele quickly lunged at you, a much too playful look in her eye considering how pissed you were right now. You yanked your arm away from her grasp, cupping your hand protectively with the other, shielding the golden band on your finger from her.

“Fucking drop it!” You snapped at her, standing from your seat. “I’m going home. You’re too drunk. I’ll drive.”

“You’re so fucking lame,” Mechiele droned, falling back into her seat. She wouldn’t budge when you urged her to stand and come with you. “He’s fuckin’ dead! Get a new man, already! Alastor’s not-”

Mechiele stopped abruptly when you smacked her. It wasn’t an incredibly hard smack or anything, barely enough to leave a red bloom on her cheek, but it was enough. She looked at you through narrowed eyes. You returned the same expression.

You left the booth and stormed off, cursing under your breath about it all. About Mechiele, about this stupid bar, about the tipsy feeling in your head, about Alastor—

You folded your arms together as you briskly walked to your car, yelling in frustration at your heels and ripping them off your feet. The ground was a little wet and cold, but you didn’t care. After making it to your car, you threw yourself in an switched it on.

You thought for a few moments. You were lightheaded after a few drinks, but you really didn’t want to wait for a taxi. You’d probably be fine, yeah? Sure. Against your better judgment, you began to drive.

It was a long drive, but it gave you some time to think.

You missed him. You pined for him. Nearly every night was agony, missing the presence of the only man you’ve ever fallen in love with.

You cursed whatever higher power there was for making you this way—immortal. How cruel it was, to make you live forever to suffer this longing. You didn’t even notice when you ended up in your room, but you let yourself fall face first onto your bed, curling up into a ball.

Even more, you cursed yourself for ever falling in love. You should’ve known it would only lead to an endless torture of heartbreak. You would never love anybody the same; although, you don’t think you’d want to, even if you could.

You were born to suffer. To spend an eternity in life without him.

★

Charlie continued to watch in shock for a few moments, her mouth dropped at the mention of the Radio Demon’s name. The previously hidden woman stepped from the bar, a furious look in her eyes as she stormed away. Mechiele was left with stubbornly folded arms and an empty glass of alcohol.

“Heyyy, uh, Al, how common is your name..? Do you know…” Charlie asked a bit awkwardly. She got no response. She lifted the headset, and realized he was gone. Even still, there seemed to be a lingering feeling of intense static, and the air somehow felt a bit heavier than before.

★

This had to be some cruel, sick joke, right? Heaven had to be toying with him, finally finding a way to torture his soul. His wife—she was dead. It had been nearly a hundred years since he died, and even if she had lived till she was old—

Alastor was pacing his room, ears pinned and eyes wide in frantic thought. Oh, how he yearned for her. He had managed for so long to push the memory of her away, to lock up his loss in a tight cage as he climbed the ranks of hell; it had all come rushing, barreling, torrenting back when he had seen her—or, no, somebody that looked like her—step out of those curtains. It was only a coincidence that that woman looked like his wife, and only a coincidence that she had a dead husband that shared his name.

His wife was in heaven, no doubt; which was where she belonged, of course, but Alastor had spent the last decade pining for somebody who he could never see again. If given the choice, Alastor wasn’t so sure himself if he was kind enough as to not tear her soul from Heaven and down to Hell by his side. Alternatively, even if Charlie’s idea of redemption were to work, Alastor was truly irredeemable. It was all wistful thinking, anyway.

Alastor’s claws dug into the curtains of his window, staring out into the streets of Hell in an attempt to concentrate on one steady stream of thought.

When billions of people touch the Earth, it’s only natural that coincidences like this rise. Right? He tried desperately to convince himself of different possibilities. It just made no sense.

A knocking at his door made Alastor’s grin curl in deadly malice. He really wasn’t in the mood.

He paced to his door, opened it just enough to fit his body in the frame, and glared down at Charlie. She was wringing her hands together nervously, and only seemed to grow more timid as the heavy, almost palpable ambience of his radio static filled the hallway she stood in.

“I’m busy,” Alastor said bluntly. His lips were curled in a sneer.

“I can tell,” Charlie responded. "I know you don't like talking about yourself-" She began to ramble on about him talking to her about his feelings and whatnot, but Alastor didn’t listen as he shut the door again.

Though, the interruption did give his mind a chance to slow. He sat on a chair in the corner of his room, and opted to fiddle with the radio on the drawer next to him. He tuned it—or, more just magically infused it—to play some jazz to try to keep his head level.

It would take some time to rebuild the dam that held back the memories of his wife. Even just the mere thought of her made him feel weak, and he hated it. The only soul he was capable of falling in love with—gone, forever.

Alastor never took the whole “eternity of damnation” thing seriously, considering the power he held and how comfortable he really was in Hell. However, when he remembered her—

Hell truly was torture. And he was cursed to spend his eternity in death without her.

[haechani4ever]

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: break up ✧

╰┈➤why would you two break up

. . ⇢ ˗ˏˋpairing ot7 x gn!reader

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋgenre angst

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋwarnings mentions of cheating

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋnote im sorry i know its kinda sad but im feeling very angst these days. also i had so much fun writing this and i hope u like it :)

✦➼mark lee ┈ he didn't have time for you

✦- sadly we all know how busy mark always is. likewise, he tried to give you some of his time, but it wasnt enough. sometimes days went by without them seeing each other and when they did see each other it was for 10 minutes. the good morning and good night messages didnt really make up for anything nor did the other text messages with small updates. probably you were the one who broke up with mark. he's too kind and sweet to do it. he also didnt really realize what he was doing and thats why you broke up.

it was a weekday when you approached him to talk to him. they were both in the kitchen of their house. they had just finished dinner when you told him. mark was shocked when you told him. he knew you were right but he really thought it was something that would happen and they could live with it. he told you that he understood but he was really very broken.

✦➼huang renjun ┈ fell out of love

✦- renjun is someone so sweet and loving but also someone who can lose interest quickly sometimes. i mean once you see something you dont like there is no turning back. you have to have a very strong relationship for it not to happen. but if it happens, i feel for you. it will start with things like stopping being attentive to you and almost completely avoiding physical contact between the two of you.

he told you out of nowhere really. you thought your twos relationship was in a good place, and suddenly he tells you that he doesnt love you anymore. probably it was that way because it was the only way he found to tell you. those words destroyed you completely and when you asked for explanations he didnt know how to give them because he really didnt know what had happened either.

✦➼lee jeno ┈ you no longer understood each other

✦- from one day to the next the relationship stopped working. you didnt understand him anymore, Jeno. It seemed like he no longer trusted you and was hiding things from you. the talks at the end of the day ended quickly and he no longer spoke to you much directly. you thought it was because they couldnt understand each other anymore so the trust between you felt absent.

a few months ago this was a problem in your relationship, suddenly talking to each other was not comforting nor did you listen to each other. every talk led to an argument. he was the one who brought it up to you. the relationship was no longer working, he loved you, you loved him, but they no longer understood each other. the spark that connected them had gone out

✦➼lee donghyuck ┈ cheating

✦- i dont know why but sometimes Hyuck gives me those cheater vibes. it must be because i read a lot of things with a plot about that, but thats not the point. despite being a very intelligent person, haechan can sometimes be somewhat impulsive. he was easily carried away by a provocation or he was simply drunk, we dont know really, but he did it. he swear it was a one-time mistake but it happened again, two more times. but since the third is the charm you caught him in the act.

you couldnt believe it when you saw it, the person you had fallen in love with being disloyal to you. he came out behind you quickly and started apologizing. but it was too late, the mistake had already been made. you told him you didnt want to hear his apology and you left. He tried to contact you in the following weeks but you blocked him everywhere. eventually he gave up looking for you.

✦➼na jaemin ┈ different visions of the relationship

✦- you had been with jaemin for a while when one day you sat down to talk as usual and this topic came up. they realized that they both wanted different things in life and that they didnt know where they were taking the relationship. you were willing to continue the relationship, settle down and maybe start a family one day with him. but jaemin still wanted to continue experiencing life and didnt see their relationship as something serious enough to settle down.

with this information the relationship was no longer the same. there was no point in really continuing with this if one of us thought that way. so one day, you faced him. you asked him if it was really true that he saw the relationship you two had that way and when he said yes, you blurted it out. it hurt him, but he understood and thought it was the best for the two of you.

✦➼zhong chenole ┈ big figth

✦- chenle is someone with strong ideas and sticks to them a lot, so arguments were not something unusual in their relationship. it was always little things like who had to wash the dishes and stuff like that. sometimes things escalated to another level but never like that time.

the argument had started over something that was certainly stupid given the strength with which they ended up arguing. everything got out of control when you reproached him for something. from there, they began to tell each other every bad thing they saw in each other. the argument ended when one of you shouted, "well, if we're so bad for each other we should break up." and that's how it ended, you didnt see him again after that for a long time.

✦➼park jisung ┈ a misunderstanding

✦- jisung thought you cheated on him. he misinterpreted a message that was on your cell phone. at first he denied it (not only because it wasnt true) but because he didnt believe it was true, especially coming from you. but after that he started noticing things that were always there but he had never noticed them. things that had nothing wrong and were purely innocent on your part, but he didnt see them that way.

one day when he got home he told you something that had made him a little jealous, and although he tried to stay calm he ended up exploding and letting it all out. you tried to explain it to him but he got carried away by his ego and didn't let you do it. also relevant is the fact that you had burst into tears because of what he thought of you. in the end you wiped your tears and told him that the relationship was ending.

[dayluxe]

Tik Tok Trends - Jamal Musiala

¡ request are open !

pairing: Jamal Musiala x fem!reader

summary: you decide to play a 'dafak' prank on your boyfriend

warnings: use of the translator

w/c: 1.363

request here

you were resting on the sofa in his living room. Your free time seemed endless now that you had a vacation from college, so your day was based on watching series, using your cell phone or listening to music.

In the last few weeks a very funny trend had appeared on Tik Tok. it was practically a matter of saying a rude word after a sentence. whether the person is doing a food rating with someone else, or just talking about anything. You remembered that the famous crumbl cookies would arrive that day. You were a loyal follower that these cookies were horrible, and even before ordering them you checked their ingredients, and just seeing them you felt like you were vomiting.

Your boyfriend was soon coming home from his training, and you had told him that you wanted to try them with him, so you already had an excuse to be able to make the joke without giving him such a deep explanation. He didn't know why you were such a fan of recording things like that with him, but he thought it was funny to see it afterwards so he didn't refuse.

you let out a little laugh just thinking about Jamal's face when you made the video, it would surely be worth uploading it to your social networks.

You heard the door of her house open, a sign that your boyfriend was at home "Hello, honey" he said when he saw you sitting on the sofa. You reached out to give him a kiss "Hey, how did it go today?" you asked. It was always funny to hear his anecdotes with the team "well, today we were passing the ball, the common, and when I wanted to go stretch my leg to pass it I almost fell. It was horrible, you don't know all the teasing I endured throughout the training, and the worst of all is that it was recorded, forever. I think that even the team's account has already uploaded it"

Soon Jamal found himself talking about all his training. The conversation flowed as always, calmly. You talked to him about how your day went, "boring and lazy" you told him "you should come with me to training" he replied "no, then you lose concentration with me, and I don't want that to happen to you, my love" you told him "I can't deny that," Jamal replied, and then kissed and went to shower.

When he came back they would make the video, you had already talked about it with him.

You placed the cell phone on the kitchen table. You tried not to make any suspicious faces, or at least give you away. You thought about kittens, puppies, food, whatever it is that won't remind you of what you were going to do.

You were very bad at making jokes. You couldn't do something like that and stay serious for more than 5 seconds, just thinking about what you would do would bring tears to your eyes from laughing so much.

"I'm already here," Jamal said as he sat next to you, "I hope these cookies taste good, they cost too much and I'm not going to waste them," he said again. He opened the box and began to inspect the cookies a bit. On the outside they were beautiful, you couldn't deny it, their decoration and color caught your attention too much "I hope you don't get discouraged, but I've seen that they taste bad, very bad. I just want to know if it's true or not," you told him.

He turned to look at you with a face of 'did you really spend money on this?'. You laughed when you saw it "and if you know they taste bad why would you buy them and make me eat them with you? It doesn't make sense" he asked you "I already told you, I want to know if those reviews are true" you said in an obvious tone. He just rolled his eyes and grabbed a cookie.

You hit the option to record on your cell phone and started talking. you explained what the video would be while next to you Jamal looked carefully at the cookie.

You chose one just like him. You looked at it carefully, you wanted to see some sign of whether it tasted good or bad, but those cookies did know how to fool you.

You decided it was time to say the first one, so you let go. "These cookies look good" was heard before saying the word. Your boyfriend looked at you, but he didn't take it as seriously as you wanted.

He was used to your delusions of record, and for him it was something normal.

"yes, they look like something out of Willy Wonka's factory," he commented.

When you took your first bite you knew this wouldn't go well. Your taste buds were filled with sugar. They were hands down the sweetest cookies you'd ever tasted "Damn, this is so sweet. Like I can throw it up right now." he says with a grimace on his face after swallowing the bite. The word came back from your lips in the most natural way you could. The guy next to you nodded, this time looking at you more strangely.

"Okay, now give me yours and you try mine, okay?" you said. this time when the word was heard Jamal looked at you, what do I say, he judged you with his gaze.

He didn't say anything, but a mocking drawing smile on his face.

You tried the cookie, this time trying not to judge so much from the beginning "this one tastes different, but it's still just as sweet and cloying". at this point you already wanted to vomit. you felt the sugar running through your veins.

a loud laugh from Jamal was heard throughout the kitchen. You, still tucked into paper, asked "What's wrong?" your gaze fixed on how she squirmed in her chair. He took a breath, and then spoke "what's wrong with me? Or rather, what's wrong with you? you are-" his laughter interrupted him once more.

Your laughter accompanied him. already surrendered by the joke, and by the laughter of your boyfriend.

"You're impossible, really," you told him, still laughing. "I'm sorry, love, it's not my fault that you're bad at making jokes" he told you giving you a little push on the shoulder "I'm the best at making jokes, what do you say, you always fall for them" you look at him in a judging way. "Let me remind you that you were the one who got scared by the cockroach in the bathroom last week," she told you with a challenging look on her face, "well, that thing looked very real. besides, you know I'm terrified of those things" you told him with a pout.

He just gave you a triumphant smile, and then took another bite of the cookie.

The video continued naturally. The cookies were, terrible. You've never eaten anything as gross as that in your life, and you're sure you'd have to take blood tests to see how your sugar was after.

"These might be the worst cookies I've ever tasted" he tells you as he closes the box of cookies, "I expected it, but they were worse than I thought. I feel like I'll be throwing up for a whole week" you reply as you lay your head on your hand. "What do you think if we lie down for a while and rest?" he asks you, getting up from his chair while he shakes your hand to accompany him.

They both walked to their room, shuffling their feet across the cold tile.

When their bodies touched the soft sheets, they felt warm. Your boyfriend's arms wrapped around you, and you settled by his side.

"The sugar is going up in my head already," you whispered to him, "mine too, so let's rest. I don't want to have a headache tomorrow," he replied with a chuckle.

Jamal kissed you on the hundred, while you settled better next to him.

After that, they both fell into a great dream.

a/n: was this just something to throw unjustified hate at crumbl cookies? yes, it was.

[lovingjingyuan]

You're speaking out of line again

Sunday is so handsome! He really is the most handsome man in Penacony. He even looks good when mad! My(our) pretty boy <3 Also mentions a side question In Pencony with Chadwick!

Warning: ooc? Toxic Sunday, toxic work environment

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

"Just a moment," his soft gentle smile as he walks up to you and your patron. "Please I like to speak with you alone."

His eyes lay on you. Everything about him was angelic. The patron felt mesmerized by Sunday's angelic features. Sunday turns to your customer giving his professional demeanor.

"Apologies my dear guest, I'll have someone assist you in just a bit. I need to talk to my employee," Sundays brought his eyes towards you before grabbing your hand and leading you away.

Once out of the door, his grip became harsh and rough. He started to drag you to his office before closing the door then pushed you sitting on the couch as he approached you, towering over you like a fragile child.

"My dear... you of all people should know very well you're not supposed to interact with our guests like this."

You looked at him confused. You thought you did everything correctly. You were just assisting the guest, you followed all the manual and everything yet he still lectures you and only you. "But-"

His eyes hardened and he glared at you. You can see the jealousy tinted on his face arose.

"Do not interrupt me. I didn't ask for an explanation yet." He was always so much harsher on you.

He always expects the best from you. Behind the doors of his public image, he was stern, and cold a new person from the gentleness he puts out in public. Yet even with the angry expression his face was still of an angel.

"Why do you still take male guests? What? You're not satisfied so you need to start hauling over our guests?"

You were speechless at these accusations implying the kind of worker you weren't yet he kept dumping these infidelity statements at you.

"Speak," his voice averted to a more harsher and stern tone eyeing you while he crossed his arms.

Your words stumbled messy as you tried to explain without blowing up at him, yet you couldn't stop yourself from saying things that shouldn't have been said and were way out of topic.

Sunday's face darkens as he glares at you, "You're speaking out of line again." His voice was harsh and cold. Yet a bit of amusement in his eyes. "I'll cut out your pay for this month and you'll be held in a confined area of the dreamscape while we sort things out. Hope you can understand."

Your jaw dropped almost to the ground. Members of the Bloodhound Family dragged you away to a restricted area in the dreamscape.

Damn Sunday. You cursed as you sat on the desk. It was an empty room. A familiar room, all too familiar room. The same room they kept Chadwick's memory; isolating his memories from the world. The same room was kept from the public to punish people and take away their sense of rights.

And Sunday held you in there for a simple small argument. You did everything to try and satisfy him yet it was never enough. His expectations were harsh on you compared to others. He kept a perfect public impression. The angelic smile and features how can anyone not fall for it?

A knock came at the door, "May I please come in?" before you could answer Sunday walked in closing the door behind him with his infamous smile.

He walked over to you and softly slid his hand to the necklace he brought you sitting on your neck. The small angel wing diamond necklace. The wings looked similar to the wings on his head. His hand fidgets the necklace chains.

"Is everything going perfectly fine my dear?"

You nodded, but he frowned slightly bit, "I want to hear it from you. Do your job with your mouth not with movements" his voice became more demanding.

"Yes everything is going perfectly," you said sarcastically. His ears tense up a bit, "Why are you even here?"

He stopped in place letting go of your necklace, his smile fading in a stern expression you know so well.

"You're speaking out of line again..." His voice was cold, but you heard him say these words many, many times before and you know exactly what he meant: How dare you speak to me that way.

"Sunday I didn't mean to-"

He cuts you off "I'll have to lengthen your confinement if you keep speaking out of line."

Silence... The silence between you two when you looked away. After a long 30 seconds, Sunday's moods soften as well as the wings. He kissed you on your head. "This is the best choice for you to learn. All I want is to keep you safe..."

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

Anyway, I got CPR certified today! I thought I was gonna fail the test but I didn't! Also for my political/government test, I failed it... whomp whomp😭 I'm so far behind on work sooo yeah and my next political test is coming soon.

[tobyisave]

Introducing nagito music, my 4 hour long chronological birth-to-death Komaeda playlist!!!

For anyone willing to subject themselves to that, I recommend listening in order — I tried to make the narrative clear even on a first listen, so hopefully most of it should come across without explanation??? That said, I'm also putting a summary of the different plot beats of the playlist under the cut for anyone who's curious!

Precanon

"I Don't Wanna Die" - "Rejoice": Early misfortune & realizing he has a luck cycle

"Dear Life" - "Waiting42moro": What I call the "descent into madness" arc, trying to hold on to hope that his luck will change for the better.

"Happylucky" & "Congratulations": His luck finally flips and he tries to pretend it was worth it. Basically sitting on a throne of money he didn't want covered in the blood of people he loved because it literally cost him everything.

"No More Shame, No More Fear, No More Dread" & "Just a Fan": Radical acceptance of his place in the world, especially upon entering HPA and receiving his diagnoses.

SDR2

"Ready to Die" & "Problems": Entering the killing game and planning his own suicide (by Teruteru's hand) + Revealing that during the trial and taking the role of antagonist thereafter.

"I Wanna Be Your Dog 2" - "Caroline, Please Kill Me": Increasingly intense fixation on Hajime, more and more overtly asking Hajime to kill him.

"Gross" - "Shihatsu to Kafuka" (n-buna): Reaching an impasse with Hajime, realizing they will never be able to see eye to eye despite their best attempts (around Chapter 4).

"We Will Commit Wolf Murder" - "Ghost (of 7th street)": Reading the file from the Final Dead Room and resolving to do his Chapter 5 scheme.

"Rhinestone Eyes" - "RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES": Blowing up the hotel, making bomb threats, telling people to torture him --- generally going villain mode.

"#2" & "Kill Command": He just wanted to be loved before he died................

OVA

"Trouble Awful Devil Evil" - "entotsu" (mitsume): Being brought out of his coma, rejoining other Remnants, reorienting himself to the new Hajime.

Postcanon (it's all Komahina)

"You've Got a Gift" - "the same things happening to me all the time, even in my dreams": Realizing he still admires, and has feelings for, Hajime. Immediately assumes those feelings will go unreciprocated for the rest of his life, and is more or less fine with that.

"Struck by Lightning" - "Un See Through": At Hajime's insistence, Komaeda chooses to be "selfish" by letting Hajime in. At this point he still fully believes that it will get them both killed, hence the songs about blissfully dying together.

"Happy Unhappy" - "Self Control": Very very painfully questioning his beliefs in light of his luck never retaliating.

"Gods of the Good Shit" & "Wishing Well": He manages to avoid losing his mind by reframing his relationship with Hajime as a final stroke of luck, the Ultimate Hope everything has been leading up towards. Much like his example in FTE 3, the Tragedy and the killing game were necessary precursors to him meeting Hajime.

"Everyone Adores You" - "Ball Cap": Trying to help Hajime through his own insecurities.

"Doc" - "Paul": Despite having sorted through the fear that his luck will kill Hajime, Komaeda still feels unworthy as a person and believes he's dragging Hajime down. In other words, he sees this as finally coming down from the irresponsible fantasy life he's been letting himself live with Hajime. He lets Hajime know it'd be fine if he wanted to leave... Then admits Hajime probably should leave him. Then begs Hajime to leave him. Finally, upon realizing Hajime is too stubborn to give up, Komaeda takes some drastic action to push him away.

"Heart for Brains" - "OK" : Hajime insists that Komaeda is what's important to him in life, and basically talks him off the edge — he'd basically spend every waking moment of his life making Komaeda feel better if that's what it takes, and he's not taking no for an answer. Komaeda truly cannot accept that he's not a burden, but eventually gives in and allows Hajime to love him anyway. He's too weak to keep putting up a fight, after all.

"Don't Go": Komaeda finally becomes selfish enough to ask Hajime to stay with him. This song parallels the lyrics "You can go if you want to / You should go if you want to" from "I'll be Alright" earlier in this relationship depression arc.

"Possession": Eternal commitment to each other, basically a montage of their life up until...

Death

"Putting the Dog to Sleep": Years later, Hajime's health starts to decline (ultimately due to the Kamukura project). Komaeda is convinced it's his fault, probably on account of his luck, and begs Hajime not to die first - "Prove to me I'm not gonna die alone." Outliving Hajime is especially cruel irony since Komaeda was never even meant to survive to this age. This song mirrors the first unlucky death, Komaeda's dog, which was a net loss.

"You Swan, Go On": Hajime dies, and Komaeda follows soon after. He feels unspeakable levels of gratitude towards Hajime in his final moments, never feeling entirely worthy even at the very end but so, so happy that it happened to him anyway.

"Last Words of a Shooting Star": Komaeda is grateful that his own body self destructs fast enough that he doesn't have to live too long in a world without Hajime. This song mirrors the second unlucky deaths, Komaeda's parents, who died with each other at the exact same time.

[inscrutable-shadow]

hello... it is pumpkin.... military au brainrot... cal having to help than when his comm breaks. i just think cal's kind of a problem in therapy and he should be able to be nice to than outside of it :]

hi @write-kin! sorry for the long wait haha but i finally had an idea for something i wanted to say with this (unfortunately thanatos is yet again an asshole but subtly this time because he wants cal to like him lol)

"Sorry about this," Thanatos said with a laugh. There wasn't really much else he could do other than hover awkwardly while Cal did his work. It wasn't Than's fault the communicator was always broken. He just had the jumpiest, most volatile clients in the entire army, apparently. Whether it was Miguel slamming the table to scare him, one of Vic's surges, or an ordinary bit of clumsiness equally his fault as Mariano's, he just couldn't seem to keep the only real piece of army-issued equipment he had intact for longer than two weeks. (The record was actually thirteen days. He kept a counter in the corner of his desk calendar.) It seemed like the only one who hadn't broken his comm was Rex, and that was because they still had his sessions behind safety glass.

"N-no, it's all right," Cal assured him, glasses pushed high on his nose and pointedly avoiding eye contact. "These models can be finicky, the casings are too big for the internal housing and the wiring likes to come loose. It's no wonder a little fall off the desk is enough to… to break it…" The kid's voice had gained steam throughout his explanation, but at the end he seemed to remember that he was talking to Thanatos, the ex-war mage who was also his therapist, and lost his nerve.

"Still, I hate to trouble you, Calamine. I'm sure you have better places to be than in my office fixing my comm for the hundredth time." He got to his feet to pour himself another coffee, mostly as an excuse to get his hands out of line of sight. They tended to, if only subconsciously, unsettle non-war mages. Particularly the weak one, his left, which he dropped into his pocket out of reflex. He was always wary of people on the wrong side of his desk.

Cal shook his head. "Really, it's fine! See, it's fixed." He gave the comm a little shake, which, to Than's surprise, didn't produce a rattling noise of any kind. "I c-can't get you a newer model, but… mounting it on the desk might help. You'll still be able to pick it up, it'll just be harder to knock over. I can also add some stuff to make it harder to EMP and, well, spill coffee into."

Thanatos laughed again, that disarming smile coming easily to his face. "I could certainly use that. Thank you, Calamine. I truly appreciate it."

The praise had the desired effect; the apprehension in Cal's eyes shifted to shock, tentative hope, then admiration, and Thanatos hid his satisfied smile in his coffee mug. Too easy. "Uh, sure! Is there somewhere you'd like the mounting to be?"

Than's desk was meticulously organized. "This is where it usually sits." He indicated a spot near the right side of the desk, past his fountain pen set, where he could easily reach it with his good hand. He sometimes had trouble holding on to things with the other, so he tried to avoid picking up anything with it he couldn't afford to drop.

"Oh, that's awfully close to the edge. Probably why it keeps falling off." The comms tech frowned and scanned Thanatos's belongings with a furrowed brow. "If I install it over here, it'll be more out of the way." He indicated an empty spot near the wall on the left side of the desk.

Thanatos's smile took on an air of chagrin. "No, thank you, Calamine, the right side is fine." That spot was empty for a reason, after all.

"Are you sure? On this side, I could wire the base in with the rest of the comms and give you a way to use it without—"

"Cal."

Cal looked up, to where Thanatos, as he frequently did, was holding his left arm across his body, where the hand would be out of the way. "Oh, your— I'm sorry—"

Than laughed again. "Don't worry about it. I'll make do without the extra wiring. You're doing enough for me already."

The kid was about as pale as a person could be at this point. "I-I'll just… see if I can get materials for that then… sorry again, doctor…"

"You're perfectly all right. Thanks, Cal. I look forward to the improvements." He watched Cal scuttle away with a sigh and a smile. Kid was going places. Just needed to lose the social anxiety.

[bookshelf-in-progress]

Director's Cut of "Good Rich Earth" please?

"Good Rich Earth" is one of the easiest writing experiences I've ever hand. This one just flowed. No hesitation. No laboring over words. I don't know if I've ever had a story come this easily.

I had zero intentions of writing a retelling of "The Secret Garden". Then you mentioned the potential for a fantasy retelling, and I instantly started wondering how such a thing could be done.

You taught me that a proper Secret Garden retelling has to center around childhood emotional neglect, so it quickly turned to sci-fi, because the first line that came to me was, "Raised practically by robots, the poor thing!"

With that, I had my premise. Mary was raised on a military space station by parents who left her in the care of robot nannies. She'd never been on a planet. (I've long wanted to write a story involving space-raised children who have culture shock when they come to a planet, and this fit perfectly.) The story would involve her coming to appreciate the wonders of nature.

Then I just started writing. Instantly. (This was much more appealing than the Chesterton Challenge idea I had originally sat down to write).

When writing about the bleak landscape of Mary's new home, I decided that this would be a ruined post-apocalyptic Earth, to make the landscape seem bleaker and more hateful to the newly-arrived Mary, and the Secret Garden seem more wondrous by comparison. I sometimes wonder if that was the right choice, because I put zero thought into what kind of apocalypse it was, beyond giving it the appallingly generic label of "The Disasters", and this layer might interfere too much with the rest of the story. But it does tie in with the original's themes of recovering from neglect and learning to care for others--the entire planet has been neglected and needs care to come back to life.

I just love how that paragraph about Mary hating everything about Earth allowed me to provide so much worldbuilding and characterization so easily.

I share Ben's disdain for hydroponics.

(Once I finished the draft, I skimmed it in search of ideas for titles. I was surprised to find that Ben's rant contained the perfect one--he's talking about dirt and gardening, but it also works in reference to Mary coming to appreciate the goodness of the planet Earth.)

It's interesting how I was able to keep the story and exposition flowing by just bringing in character voices (like Martha's explanation about the garden) without giving them actual scenes. It's something I didn't even think about--it just happened, and I don't know how, since it's not my usual style. It probably only works because this is a fanfic one-shot where you're expected to know the characters already.

And then I just kind of dither along, stretching out a story with Mary doing nothing but walking outside. I probably leaned too much on the robin finding things. After describing the way the door appears, I have a tough time believing Mary didn't find it on her own--why does a robin's wing set it off and not Mary walking around the wall?

You can probably see me flailing to find ways to make this sci-fi, making up tech on the fly. I mostly justified it, I think--the hologram roof's a bit of a stretch. Maybe the door, too. But that seems like something that would be good to have if you could pull it off (though I really hope there are safety features that keep people from being locked inside without a key). I do love that Mary's space station experience gives her the knowledge to open the Secret Garden's door.

I do like that description of the Secret Garden. I tried not to draw too much from any previous description/depiction of it, and I was careful not to use plant names, because Mary wouldn't know any of them. I think it managed to show the garden without getting too long-winded/flowery.

Of course I had to end by describing the garden as magical.

[panzershrike-pretz]

*basically falls into your ask box* PRETZ I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVEN'T ASKED YOU SOMETHING YET SORRY

okay 10, 12, 21, and 27 for the hbowar ask game!!

HI BLU!!! Hope you didn't hurt yourself with that fall! XD

10. An OC you can't get enough of?

First of fucking all: I love you guys' ocs!! Feel free to ramble about them to me, I love meeting new characters!

So, starting off with @malarkgirlypop because I absolutely fucking ADORE Emily. She is just the best and reminds me of a friend of the same name, so I just love vibing away with her! Her whole deal comung from the future and being so absolutely different from ths boys but at the same time fitting right in?? Love that

And then there's @coco-bean-1218. I LOVE OC!CLAIRE SO MUCH SHE'S SO ADORABLE!!!! I LOVE HER AND CAN'T WAIT TO READ THE FUCK OUT OF WELL BEHAVED WOMEN NEVER MAKE HISTORY!!! (also can we talk about that title??? Because I love it)

We also got @next-autopsy 's ocs. All of them but like,,,, I have a special something for Francesca. Obviously I live Birdie as well but like. Francesca resonates with me. (I ABSOLUTELY ADORE BIRDIE'S NICKNAME AND SHE REMINDS ME OF A SHRIKE OR A LONG-EARED NIGHTJAR).

Finally, yours! @xxluckystrike! YOUR OCS ARE SO COOL! I am so fucking hyped to learn more about them and eead your fics qhen u post it!!

12. Songs that you associate with certain mutuals?

Idk if I'll be able to give explanations to everyone but I'll try! Also, I use only vibes.

@malarkgirlypop - she makes me think of Set It All Free by Scarlett Johnsson, from the movie Sing! I just adore her vibes so like. Am I wrong? (Don't answer this)

@luckynumber4 - definetely makes me think of the song Everything Moves by Bronze Radio Return! I love this song so much and it brings me Lou vibes, idk why.

@xxluckystrike - you make me think of Break My Stride by Matthew Wilder! You just have this fun vibe and I love it a whole lot!

@whollyjoly - We Own The Night by The Wanted! This is such a upbeat song and I feel like it fits you a lot, but also It's Tough To Be a God from Road to El Dorado, but especifically the Annapantsu cover. Yes it's because of the cult.

@sweetxvanixlla - Biscuits by Kacey Musgraves! You give responsible(TM) vibes a lot. And this song is just adorable like you. Fight me.

@georgieluz - Curses by The Crane Wives. This song makes me think of you, deal with it :]

@land-sh - The Cult of Dionysus by The Orion Experience! Yeah, listen to it and you'll understand.

@next-autopsy - Battlecry by Mazare and Philip Strand. I CANNOT listen to it without thinking of you and Made of Glass! I love this song a lot.

@coco-bean-1218 - Come Along by Cosmo Shelldrake. This is one of my favorite songs and artists and I just HAD to choose it since you were the reason I first got into the BoB fandom!

@footprintsinthesxnd - Fly Away by TheFatRat. I was OBSSESSED with this song not long ago! And it's just so good too? Definetely makes me think of you!

27. What is your favorite moment during your time in the fandom?

That has to be the Cult thing. It started as a joke and took over my fucking life xD

Again, sorry to any mutuals I didn't include! I tried my best here, so enjoy the songs and all that! Love u guys <3

[multishipper-baby]

Freddy & Fred Week Day 7: Last Day of School.

Summary: Freddy goes into surgery. Whoever comes out is, decisively, not Freddy. FHS: Farewell Despair Highschool AU.

The Hope's Peak executive is already waiting for him the moment he leaves class, watching from afar as he says goodbye to his friends. He's staring directly at him, with such focus that it's almost scary, urging him to rush even if he doesn't want to. He'd been informed that the project could take a while until it's finalized, and he wants to have a proper farewell before abandoning his class.

They'd already told him not to speak about it, though. It's a classified experiment, one not yet ready to share with the public, and most of his classmates have a tendency to run their mouth- there's an understandable worry that they'll leak the information, either on accident or out of a misguided effort to avoid letting him take part in the project.

After all, brain surgery is no joke. Even in such capable hands, he can't deny being scared, too.

"Your mother came to sign the waiver this morning, so now everything is ready for the operation" The man informs him when he approaches, showing him a copy of the document. He starts reading it, but the man pockets it before he has the chance to get far in it "Because of the secretive nature of the project, as of today, you'll be considered expelled as an explanation for why you won't be attending class from now on."

"Won't my friends ask questions if I get expelled without doing anything?" He asks, wondering what the excuse would be. He'd rather not have his classmates think of him as a troublemaker.

"Yes, but that's not our problem. We don't divulge student's information unless it's court ordered- they can think up their own reasons for your expulsion."

Such a thought makes him uncomfortable. He didn't want any rumours about him spreading around, and it wasn't very fair to his friends, not knowing what happened to him. How would they feel when they tried to reach out to him over the phone and got no answer? Would they worry? They didn't deserve that.

Perhaps he could send a text to the group chat now, warning about his disappearence. He'd already written a few versions and saved them in his notes app, agonizing over how much to say and what excuses to give, but hadn't yet sent anything. If he said something before, they'd try to get more information out of him, and he'd never been great at keeping secrets.

There wasn't any time left for another rewrite, though. If he didn't send the message now, he'd never get the chance to send it.

The executive glared at him as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, but didn't stop him, merely keeping an eye on what he was doing- probably making sure he wouldn't talk about anything he shouldn't or try to back out last minute.

Quickly reading over his options, he settled on the last draft he wrote, not wanting to waste time rewriting yet another version.

< hey guys! i'll be gone for a few months for surgery. dw tho, it's nothing serious! but i probably won't have my phone on me to talk :( see u guys soon! >

Was that a good final message? He wasn't sure. Maybe the exclamation points were a little too much, or the tone was too casual for what was supposed to be a serious announcement. Or perhaps keeping it casual was better? Being too formal could scare them, make them think the situation was worse than it actually was.

They were getting close to the operation room. Bitting his lip, still unsure, he finally pressed send on the phone and pocketed it, ignoring it when it vibrated slightly. Someone must've read his message already, but there wasn't any time to check the responses.

A few men in lab coats were moving around the room, all circling around an odd pod full of cables, big enough to fit one person. It didn't look anything like he expected an actual surgery room to look, but that could have to do with the experimental nature of this surgery. For results as crazy as he was promised, one couldn't expect the same level of technology that normal brain surgery would require. This was Hope's Peak Academy they were talking about- everything they did, they advanced on.

"You need to change into a hospital gown before the operation" One of the doctors informs him, signaling a room off to the side for him to undress.

He'd never worn a hospital gown before, and doing so now did nothing to calm his anxiety, but he knew it was necessary. The executives in charge of the project had explained it in detail when they first approached him for the test, how he'd need to be hospitalized for a while as they kept working on his talent, how his body would need to adapt as well as his brain. It wouldn't be a quick or easy process.

The man who escorted him there is waiting for him as he exits the changing room, taking the clothes off of his hands along with his phone, before hurrying him to go towards the pod.

The doctors talk amongst themselves as he gets situated, before one approaches with a needle. And then, the world fades to black.

-

Many things fill his mind once he's awake enough to analyse his surroundings: there are many people all around him, many of which are armed. Besides those directly in his line of sight, there's also a one-way mirror (how he knows it's a one-way mirror, instead of a normal one, he's not sure yet) on the wall, suggesting there might be others observing him. Medical equipment surrounds him, and he's wearing the sort of clothing a patient would wear, but doesn't seem to be in a hospital.

He doesn't know what his name is. Why doesn't he know that?

The men around him take a step back as he hoists himself up, trying to remain upright even as his legs shake. He's unsure of whether he should be walking right now, but nobody moves to stop him or says anything, so he assumes it must not be a problem.

Without any explanation or signs of what to do, he decides to focus on the mirror, getting closer to it so he can properly examine his appearance. Perhaps that'd give him a clue.

Messy brown hair, reaching down to his shoulders, with a medium skin tone. A scar that reached all across his forehead, covered in stitches, as if it'd just been closed. Grey eyes, with a black sclera. Bony cheeks, which suggested he might be underweight.

He doesn't remember having this sort of appearance- why? Had he looked different, before? In what ways?

One the doors in the room opens, and an older gentleman enters, wearing a suit. The man sends the doctors a glance before smiling, taking a few steps towards him with unending confidence.

"It's good to see you awake. We were worried you wouldn't make it pass those last few surgeries" He says, voice kind and gentle, but there's something off about it. The man is not to be trusted, he's sure of it "We have a few tests for you, now. If you succeed, then we can progress to the next part of the project."

He's not sure what the project is about, or what will happen to him if he fails, or why he needed multiple procedures to awake, but the man is already out the door before he can even open up his mouth to ask.

With no other option given, he moves to the door, and follows. Perhaps he'll get an answer soon.

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

Now that my secret identity has been revealed (by me) I shall bravely soldier on like nothing has changed and scream into the void.

Wynn! I know subtlety is not your strong suit, but damn.

Look at them! They're actually just talking and not arguing! I'm so proud.

Guys, I'm gonna be real honest. They've been talking for like 10/15 minutes now and I don't really know whats going on, my brain is so tired. I tried relistening. Absolutely nothing was retained. I might have to do this episode again, or maybe just not and see how big of a issue this will be.

So far I know that the sabat is attacking and they are debating what to do.

Johnny asking Miles to be his date. 👀 We all. Know Miles is saying hard to get.

😂😂😂Britta idk what you were expecting they'd say, but I know you didn't expect them to go oh okay no problem, because you're smarter than that.

Britta you cannot stay with Eden, there are people who would be upset. Here in the real world.

I mean Britta or someone needs to reach down deep inside her, if you know what I mean. 😏

This is hard though, because I totally get what Johnny is saying, but my social anxiety is agreeing with Britta. Tbh I'm surprised she hasn't just walked into the sun.

Neil, sweetheart, baby, love of my life. What is going on with you and the obsession with Britta? Like you are grilling her way too hard, and this is not the first time. Is this because she was kidnapped? Idk it's very strange, I can't place it.

Poor Britta, so much has happened to her that I had completely forgotten that Shaw had promised to 'give' her to some Bruja.

Johnny you don't know the half of Britta and Pendragon.

Wynn, you're a goddess for offering to go with Pendragon.

NEIL?!??! WHAT THE FUCK???? Idk if this is confirmation bias or what but you're being so weird about Britta!

Wynn: can we let Britta choose how she comes (to this). 😏 I'm so sorry, I am Really tired.

Neil: Britta, how do you wanna come?😂

Omg Wynn: I like mouth stuff. 😂😂 Thank god I am not alone on this train.

Do aunts and uncles usually talk about sex at thanksgiving???? That feels very unamerican.

Aw Britta I get you, being scared is the absolute worst. And having to do smth you're scared of sucks.

Wynn being her guidance councillor self.

Wow look at Johnny being all tactful and doing this dividing the invitation.

Neil, goddamn that is so sad. Why would Johnny just tell you good luck?? Dude you are a part of this coterie! When will you get that into your thick skull?

Wynn immediately catching it. She had a full time psychologist job with this coterie damn.

Miles just being a shithead: I heard you got invited to a ball recently.

Miles: I am used to being hated. (😭 what is going on you guys??? Youre the best!)

Miles actually thought that Wynn hated him now. Goddamn Wynn, I hope you charge by the hour.

Hell yeah, Britta!! I know this is all under duress, but if you can stop yourself from fleeing the scene when Pendragon shows up (which I wouldn't blame you for, let me be clear) the you're going to do a great job at this rave!

What if Delgado brings Carmen and Britta is going to get sucked into some bisexual maelstrom.

Neil!!! Sweet lord, why does it sound like you exactly know what's going on and yiu just want to hear her say it. Calm down.

Johnny getting a new jacket for Britta without question. 🥰

Neil omg are you seriously going to steal that jacket back??? Is this a weird Britta thing? Or a weird ownership of stuff thing? Or both or neither?

We all knew it, but it's still gratifying to see Miles being a great boy toy.

I don't think anyone has called a Bruja rave a soiree before. Lmao

Lmao Neil being pulled around by Jane.

Okay say what you want but this Rave is making everyone look good!!

Lmaooo Jane just collaring Neil without explanation. 😂

Wait what diablerist?? Ohh because of the trial??

Jane is the best, I love her.

I know it's such a small thing overall, but I love the mount of detail we always get clothes wise. It really helps me visualise, even though my visualisations are often wrong and offend people (see: Johnny's shaved head and Britta's light blonde curls)

Whethers is such a dream boat!

Johnny doing his iron heart thing. 🥰 I know he has done it a few times alrwady but it always warms my heart.

[seekerreads]

3 over-hyped, 3 appropriately-hyped, 3 under-hyped books!

been meaning to do this for foreverrrrr and i'm finally getting around to it!! i've been feeling a bit burnt out on reading so i think i might take a little reading break until the new year, so i can do some cool little posts in the mean time!! (spoiler warnings abound, all books are listed in the tags if you want to avoid!! if i hate on a book you love i promise it'll be okay!! act your age please and thanks!)

3 over-hyped books:

✧.* title: The Haunting of Hill House

✧.* author: Shirley Jackson

✧.* explanation: i heard RAVE reviews about this book for a while before i picked up, including people genuinely calling it the sort of founding father of new-age horror novels. here's the thing though: this book is not scary. there are points where it definitely tries to be and i don't know if it's the book showing it's age or if the author just isn't good at writing horror but it's not effective in the least. most of the book is just the characters going "wow this house is creepy!" and the creepiest the house is 99% of the time is just the rooms being arranged weird or the furniture being old fashioned. the one big 'scary' scene was so incredibly trite and low-hanging fruit that it kinda pissed me off. and the ending was supposed to be this big scary twist but it had virtually no build-up and just had me rolling my eyes. definitely didn't enjoy this one.

✧.* title: The Fellowship of the Ring

✧.* author: J.R.R Tolkien

✧.* explanation: let me just start by saying i absolutely adore this series. the movies are fantastic and i love them. i love the story itself, but the book? oh my god. genuinely the slowest thing i've ever read and you can't even say it was for a reason because most of the reason for the slowness is the absolute BLOAT added to the book through traveling scenes. this book made me hate traveling scenes as a whole in any book. and i understand the purpose of having them and explaining the surroundings to set the scene but i'm talking about paragraphs upon paragraphs of the dryest scenery description and "we walked a lot and got tired" that you've ever seen. i had to force myself to finish this book by setting a timer every day. love the story but the books are just NOT for me.

✧.* title: Carmilla

✧.* author: J. Sheridan Le Fanu

✧.* description: this was not queer. this was not scary. there was barely any vampire happenings in this book at ALL. i was soooo excited to read this and so incredibly disappointed when it boiled down to "pretty mysterious lady lives with other lady for a while and says some vaguely lovey-dovey things that can also completely read as the poetic language of friendship of the time and then they just kill her in her coffin without an actual confrontation or confirmation of her being a vampire the end!". absolute waste of time. still hoping to maybe find a good retelling though because the potential is there!

3 appropriately-hyped:

✧.* title: Six of Crows

✧.* author: Leigh Bardugo

✧.* explanation: it is what it is. the SoC duology is fucking phenomenal and there's just no denying it. breathtaking heists, intricate world-building, gritty and sharp character work, complex and heartfelt friendships, and romances so sweet they'll bring your cold dead heart back to life. 5 stars across the board.

✧.* title: The Six Deaths of the Saint

✧.* author: Alix E. Harrow

✧.* explanation: the things this story manages to accomplish in 30 pages should be STUDIED. i can't give too much detail because it's so short that it could be spoiled but the way this could EASILY be a full 300-page novel and still manages to pack in enough depth and emotion and growth in a fraction of that space is truly incredible. you just need to read this. it's so short and you NEED to read it.

✧.* title: Red, White & Royal Blue

✧.* author: Casey McQuiston

✧.* explanation: unfortunately the girlies are not wrong about this book!! an absolutely charming time as long as you can suspend your disbelief politics-wise, but even though I didn't specifically ignore that un-realism it still didn't bother me too much, and i've lived within the american political system all my life. this is such a comfort read for me; there is enough conflict to drive a plot but it's very much a heartwarming, lighthearted read and the happy ending is satisfying every time.

3 under-hyped:

✧.* title: Fireborne

✧.* author: Rosaria Munda

✧.* explanation: this is my favorite series of ALL time. not only is it about dragonriders (!!!) but this series tackles so many hard-hitting and timely topics in such a heartbreaking and sharp way that i was absolutely riveted throughout all 3 books. this series truly has everything i want in a fantasy story: deep and complex characters, relationships with depth and conflict, characters who struggle with their morality and choices, and a world on the brink of revolution. i recommend this series to absolutely anyone who will listen.

✧.* title: Iona Iverson's Rules for Commuting

✧.* author: Clare Pooley

✧.* explanation: this is what i like to call a "state of the human condition" book. this one takes you across the entire gambit of emotion and individual experience that gives books with a larger cast like this the absolute oomph it really needed. seeing these total strangers come together and form a sort of found family for no other reason than they shared the same train during their commute was so beautiful and makes you believe in the inherent goodness of humans.

✧.* title: An Accident of Stars

✧.* author: Foz Meadows

✧.* explanation: it took me working through a bit of hesitation to pick this one up because it IS a portal fantasy (a genre which has always given me wattpad-vibes) but i am so, so glad i did. this is one of the most unique and complex fantasy worlds i have ever encountered in fiction. and even though it's a portal fantasy this series does a REALLY good job of not just focusing on the portaled character (though she does get time) but also on all the other characters she interacts with and their own stories and plotlines. i really need to reread this one; it was like nothing i'd ever read before.

(divider credit: @finnegancosmos )