#I hope he just genuinely apologizes for his actions and learns from the mistake to not do that kind of shit again

[lenaboskow]

absolutely, 100% serious question here. do you not believe characters can grow and change and work to make themselves better? because i don’t think it’s a stretch to say that buck has absolutely done that. so why can tommy not have done the same thing?

(i can’t figure out how to word this so it sounds less combative, but i genuinely am asking in good faith, i promise.)

no worries! i 100% believe that characters and people in general can learn from their mistakes, and buck is a perfect example of that (i still can't stand rewatching season one because of him, though i love him to death), and see, i thought that we could possibly get that with tommy, and for a second there i thought we were, but then the way he acted on the date made me realize he'll always be a... not nice person.

up until the date, the only real redemption we got was him apologizing to chimney only after chimney saved his life, and apologizing to hen only when he was backed into a corner. chim and hen both seemed to forgive him, and i don't fault them for that, it's their decision, but the instances never sat right with me.

then tommy said on the date in 7x05 that the 118 was a pretty regressive place under gerrard, and i can understand that. if it had been left at that, i probably could've switched to mildly disliking him (because even then it sounded like he was making excuses for his actions, and not owning up to them). but then he made the comment about closet space, in front of the person buck was obviously not comfortable coming out to yet, and i lost hope. if eddie had been a little more perceptive, it would've outed him.

keep in mind, as a queer person, i totally understand not wanting to be with someone who isn't even out to their best friend, but tommy could've handled it better. he went in knowing that buck was still figuring himself out, and when he realized he couldn't be with someone who couldn't be out just yet, he acted upon that in not the best way. closet comment aside, leaving him at the curb like that without making sure he had a way home, without telling him that's what he was doing until the car pulled up, that's a dick move. sure, it worked out in the end, but how many times in the future is that going to happen? how many partners has he done that to in the past?

to me, the date just showed me that tommy hasn't learned from past mistakes yet. if we could get a proper redemption, with apologies and recognition that the way he's acted can have real-world consequences, i'd be okay with that. but i just don't see that happening.

hope that answered your question!

[serendipitouslyyyyyy]

finally got around to watching young royals season 3 and i have many many thoughts but mostly im just so happy w how they handled august???

like first off, they held off his apology scene until we were at a point narratively where it is very clear that he is very sincere in his remorse. but then they don't make wilhelm accept the apology. yes the apology is earnest and well meant and good, and yes we genuinely believe that he is going to be better, but wille still doesn't owe it to him to say it's okay and it's so important.

but then the most important part of the whole thing was the scene where nils came out to him and vincent. because in that moment, he realizes that yes, he completely and irreversibly fucked up with wille and simon and maybe he will never fully be able to right that wrong, but at least he can do better this time. at least he can learn and grow and never make that fucking mistake again. and no, it doesn't at all reverse the terrible things he's done, but goddammit he's changing.

and that's what makes it satisfying instead of infuriating when (spoilers) wilhelm abdicates and august becomes next in line. a season ago, august becoming king would be literally worst case scenario and therefore while we all wanted wille to abdicate, it would've still made for a shit ending. but i feel like they really put in the work this season to allow august to really earn our respect and feel like he could deserve that fate.

and it makes a point of emphasizing that he doesn't end up with everything. the narrative doesn't cruelly punish him but this story also does not shy away from the consequences of his actions. he fucked things up with sara, for example, and it made it clear that that was a permanent decision. but he still has a path forward and he still has hope which is so refreshing to see from such a troubled character

in conclusion, it's really hard to handle making shitty characters sympathetic in a world with zero media literacy, but what they did with august this season was just the right amount of nuance to make for honestly one of the most interesting characters in the show.

anyways sorry for the fucking essay i'd be surprised if ANYONE read all that

[thatsadsmallchild]

I'm not defending Yuki because saying what he said it's not okay, but a lot of people come from different cultures and not always you know exactly the connotations of "X" word. Like yes, the N word is a big fucking bad word but in my country it doesn't hold the same cultural connotation/weight that in America, for example???

Like, yes, he has apologised, he has been punished for it and he has learnt you shouldn't say that. But I don't think he should be cancelled for it, he should learn from his mistakes. I think he's truly sorry he said that.

Oh, absolutely same. Yuki shouldn't be cancelled for this, but he should definitely be held accountable for his actions.

From what the FIA has said and Yuki's apology I truly do believe that he didn't understand the connotations surrounding that word (and I'm saying this as an autistic who has repeatedly been through hell with this word). Yuki seems to have learnt a lot of English through motorsport and given the ableism within the sport I wouldn't be surprised if no one had told him before.

Personally, I can forgive him because at no point does he seem to be trying to use English as an excuse and seems to be genuinely apologetic for his language.

I also hope that next time something like this happens we can all keep up the same energy we have here and not just let it slide because it was "the heat of the moment" or some complete bullshit like that.

[yourfavbunni]

Satoru x Reader

Synopsis: Part 2 of Heartbreak | Part 1

It had been about 2 weeks since you had decided taking a break from your relationship with Satoru. Despite all his wrongdoings, you still loved him and you knew he loved you dearly too.

Not being able to go on with it him you finally text him.

"Hey. I was hoping we could talk or something…"

Satoru received your message, a mix of excitement and nervousness coursed through him. The thought of seeing you again after your break filled him with both anticipation and anxiety.

"Of course, Y/N," Satoru replied, trying to sound as casual as possible despite the butterflies in his stomach. "I'd like that. Where and when works for you?"

He waited anxiously for your response,

His mind racing with thoughts of what this meeting could mean for the two of you . He knew that it wouldn't be easy, that the two of you still had a lot to work through, but he was determined to show you just how much he had changed and how committed he was to making things right.

Finally, your message came through, suggesting a local coffee shop as the meeting spot. It seemed like a fitting choice, a neutral space where we could have an open and honest conversation.

"Sounds perfect," he typed back, a sense of hope beginning to blossom within me. "I'll see you there. Looking forward to seeing you again."

As he made his way to the coffee shop, Satoru’s mind buzzed with thoughts of what he would say.

As he entered the coffee shop, his eyes scanned the room, searching for your familiar face. And there you were, looking just as stunning as ever, a mix of anticipation and caution in your eyes. He approached you with a warm smile.

"Hey", he greeted you with shyness behind his voice "It's good to see you again".

Butterflies filled your stomach, who would of thought being away from him for merely 2 weeks would have you feeling like you had when you first met him. You let out a small "Hi", smiling.

The two of you didn’t say much as you made your way to a quiet corner of the coffee shop. As the two of you settled into your seats, a mix of anticipation and nervousness hung between the two of you like a delicate thread.

Taking a deep breath Satoru was the first to speak he looked into your eyes, his voice filled with sincerity. "I want you to know that I've spent these past two weeks reflecting on my actions, on the mistakes I've made. And I want to apologize from the bottom of my heart for the pain I've caused you."

His gaze never wavered, his blue eyes locked with yours, "I've been working on myself, addressing the issues that led to our break. I want you to see that I'm committed to changing, to becoming the boyfriend you deserve."

You listened as he talked, taking in the way he looked at you with those soft eyes of his, you knew he was telling the truth, Satoru was many things but a liar.

The weight of his words hung in the air as he reached out to gently hold your hand. "But words alone won't be enough. I know that actions speak louder, and I'm ready to prove myself to you. I'm ready to show you that I've learned from my mistakes and that I'm willing to put in the effort to rebuild our trust."

He paused, giving you a moment to take in my words, to gauge your reaction. "I love you, baby. And I understand if it will take time for you to trust me again. But I want you to know that I'm here, ready to do whatever it takes to earn back your love and to make things right between us."

The air around felt charged with emotion.

After what felt like forever, you spoke, "I’m glad, I was scared you weren’t going to agree to meet. The past two weeks felt miserable without you…I missed you…".

A soft smile tugged at the corners of Satoru’s lips as he listened to your words, feeling a rush of relief and joy wash over him. It was a reassurance that perhaps there was still hope for the two of you , a chance to mend what had been broken.

"I missed you too, baby," he confessed, my voice filled with genuine affection. "Being without you was like a constant ache, a void that nothing else could fill. I realized just how much you mean to me, how much I rely on your presence and your love."

Leaning closer, he gently brushed his fingers against your cheek, his touch tender and affectionate. "You're more than just someone I love, you're my best friend, my soulmate . I missed having you around".

His gaze held yours, unwavering and filled with determination. "I'm ready to put in the effort, to shower you with love and affection. I want to be there for you in every possible way, to support you and cherish you. Please, give me the chance to show you just how much you mean to me."

You smiled softly, you were head over heels for him, "I would like that".

The two of sat in the cafe for a few hours talking, catching up, you had ordered yourself a strawberry shortcake, Satoru watched as you ate a dorky smile plastered on his face, "Is there something on my face"?, you said putting a hand up to your mouth. "No, he chucked, "I’m thinking how lucky to have such a beautiful girlfriend like you in my life."

Your face blushed up, heat rising to your cheeks, "I love you Y/N, he said eyes softening, I love you too, Satoru", you said…

Satoru then laughed, "You know, Geto and Shoko tried beating me up after I had told them what happened.." You giggled "I would’ve paid to see that".

.

.

.

[ofdinosanddais1]

Heartbreak High Season 2 Spoilers

So... lots of shit happened in the finale.

1): I like that they're setting up a redemption for Sasha and Spider. Both have done such horrible things on complete opposite ends of the spectrum but it's nice to see they could have a path to growth.

2): For Spider, I'm hoping to see more of his home life. I am thinking his father abused both him and his mom and his mom had a traumatic response which made her fear men including her own son. I think she pushed him away when she should've helped him because that's her kid and he reacted in his own way. And that does not absolve him of his wrongdoings, it means he has to sort through this shit in order to grow and prevent further harm to others. I would love to see more discussion on that in the third season. I would love for Spider to have a retribution and closure arc not for his own wellbeing (although it's a factor) but because there are boys watching this show who might have experienced things like him who might want to know it's okay to feel emotions and to see the damage that his actions did to show that it's not a healthy thing to do and it hurts a lot of people. I said redemption arc because that's probably what the show is setting up for but I think "redemption" should be left ambiguously like he's trying to be better but his actions have lasting consequences on the people he's hurt and he will always be making up for that. Changing for other people is not about being seen as the good guy but doing your best to prevent further harm. It's a complicated thing to deal with but I think showing that complexity like they have before is so important for kids watching this show.

3): I would fucking adore to see a Sasha redemption arc mostly for my own experience with other people who behaved like her who never learned from their mistakes for treating me differently because I'm autistic. Some of y'all might not want a redemption arc for her but like, I would fucking love to see her apologize and acknowledge what she did wrong and show change. Even if it's hard to do at first because no one will be perfect on the first try. After the lack of a genuine apology from Sia and her actions to the autistic community and how she continues to victimize herself, I just really want an allistic person to apologize and do better and I think the set-up for that in season 3 is PERFECT. Hopefully, there's a way for Quinni to still be school captain with Sasha as her co-captain because I think a message of uplifting people in communities you are not a part of is an EXCELLENT message. Sasha could step back with being the leading voice in this and allow Quinni to be a voice in her life as being autistic. Then this could expand to Sasha stepping back and uplifting other people's voices and learn that activism is about bringing people together and allowing space to share ideas and not trying to call out every single action she thinks is wrong. Overall though, I don't want them back in a relationship. I think the captain/vice-captain friendship could be fucking GREAT.

4): My heart fucking hurts for Cash. During that whole episode where he was on that boat with Chook, I was so fucking scared it was gonna be a jumping out situation but I fucking hope Chook doesn't mess with Cash or Harper anymore. He fucking had a deal and I don't want any redemption for Chook whatsoever. Crime and recidivism reduction is a special interest of mine and I fucking hated that Cash was in that situation to begin with and it's a perfect example of how vulnerable people join gangs. I am so fucking elated that this show is doing a great job of representing crime, recidivism, and police brutality. I'll have to research the prison system in Australia because I wanna see the similarities between Australia and the US's prison system. But YES. NAIL ON HEAD. A lot of teenagers and children join gangs because they are vulnerable whether that be an abusive home life such as Cash being in a group home then in Chook's gang before his grandma brought him to her home. How your family, your friends, your loved ones are all in danger when you are trying to leave a gang. I'm so fucking relieved that hopefully Cash can be free. I don't trust Chook's word though and that stuff always haunts people who often have no choice. I just want him to be safe and loved and cared for. He deserves so much better.

5): Kinda disappointed that Harper and Amerie didn't have a conversation on how Harper treated her but I think I still like their arc. I don't think that they're in anyway on the best terms they could be but I think it's because that Amerie views relationships transactionally in the way that she thinks she has to give every cent of her self to make other people accept her and I wanna see more of Amerie's story. For one, we know she has a sorta strict mom. For two, I've never seen anything about her dad. I'm wondering if there was an incident in her peer group in the earlier days or a situation in her home life where she feels like she constantly has to give 200% just to feel like she deserves even 5% of something. I really want the showrunners to tackle that kind of stuff in the third season. I want Harper and Amerie to have some kind of realization that their friendship is more complicated and I want Amerie to just have a god damn break for once. Have like a filler episode or gods just a fucking nap. I want Amerie to get like a cold where Harper or Darren or someone just helps her out while a bunch of crazy shit happens at school. Give my girl a break.

6): I fucking hate Rowan. He's manipulative but also traumatized. BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW GREAT SAM RECHNER DID PORTRAYING HIM??? It's like he woke up one day as Rowan like his acting was fucking PHENOMENAL. If Rowan is in the third season, I'm not going to be mad because I fucking love Sam Rechner's portrayal of a teenager that is aggressive and touchy and just... how tf do I put this... a sort of trauma-touched angry that is not the typical portrayal of "I'm angry because I'm traumatized" but just representative of people who are like him if that makes any fucking sense??? Idk how to describe his attitude and mannerisms because there us definitely trauma laced with his actions but you can also tell through his backstory that this shit didn't start with his trauma or at least not the one we saw in the beginning. It's kinda like the signs of a serial killer but (hopefully) those signs are recognized and he is placed in a treatment that can focus on protecting himself and others. I don't think his behaviors will go away and I would not be surprised if he's not in the second season because he was institutionalized because that seems like a natural progression.

It's weird to talk about Rowan because there are signs that his trauma has influence on his behavior but is not the sole cause of his behavior. I don't want to put some kind of diagnostic label on him and I encourage everyone else to also not put a diagnostic label on him because I think most people watching (including myself) have the psychological knowledge to put a label on him without demonizing other mental illnesses because I see a lot of behaviors that can be attributed to some psychological problems but I'm not educated enough to talk about that without demonizing people with those mental illnesses who act so far from his other behaviors. So, I don't recommend other people putting a label on him because, even with good intentions, there are people who would want to use Rowan as a reason to demonize real life mentally ill people. But, I do not fucking like him as a person. I love the characterization. But fuck him to the sun, man. He was manipulative of Amerie and he was trying to forget Amerie but his thoughts did result in harmful actions and I think the best retribution would be deep psychiatric help but knowing the mental health industry, the kind of help he needs does not currently exist and that fucking sucks. If he is in the next season, I'm not going to complain because holy fuck I loved the character in the realm of his writing like the writer room for Heartbreak High deserves a fucking award.

Overall, my thoughts on the season were that I love how complicated everyone is. The characters feel like actual people that exist in real life. They feel loved and cared for and I hope netflix greenlights a third season. I've seen a LOT of people recently who hadn't watched the first season come out but got a netflix account specifically to watch Heartbreak High and that kind of thing is what netflix WANTS so I'm a little more hopeful that a third season might get greenlit. I'm excited to see what the showrunners do next.

Again, gonna say that, whatever behaviors that Rowan has that can be attributed to certain mental health disorders, let's just consider what fuel we're adding to the fire.

And because some people did this, remember that the actors are not the characters. A lot of people bullied Gemma for Sasha's actions but Gemma is the actor playing Sasha, she is not actually Sasha. She did a fantastic job so it might be confusing but she is not Sasha and does not deserve the hate she gets for her wonderful portrayal. This goes for EVERY actor.

[yuwumeniji]

Hello there! My request has a bit of angst, but I was wondering what your take would be on when reader-Chan and their Luxiem guy are like after a fight? Like how would they make up? Thanks if you decide to write this!

Luxiem & Fights

WARNING: Please remember that I am writing about Luxiem based on their characters online and not of the people behind their vtuber avatars, thank you!

EXTRA NOTES: thank you for the request!!!

SETTING THE STAGE

my comedic attempt at angst lmao

actually this genuinely might be more comedic than angsty because i can't write for my life lmao

proofreader? i hardly even know er

MORE UNDER THE CUT

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

IKE EVELAND

either the pettiest bitch alive or someone who easily forgives and forgets

if he's being petty, it's probably over something mundane like eating his leftovers or a simple argument like is water wet?

outside of that, ike seems to be the kind of guy who easily forgives most because he thinks there may be good intentions behind an action even if it was expressed poorly

if an argument was HIS fault; ike is the kind to take his time in apologizing

he doesn't want to seem insincere when apologizing too quickly, but he also doesn't want to give off the impression that he didn't learn from his mistakes and recognize what he did wrong

he goes out of his way to write an actual apology and give it to you as a letter though

LUCA KANESHIRO

mission impossible - it's difficult to get into any kind of argument with luca because of his easy-going nature

like i genuinely can't think of a scenario where luca would purposefully be petty and argue over something except for silly internet kind of arguments

if you seem upset over something he's said or done, he's the type to sincerely apologize as soon as possible

he'll prolly drag you out to someplace nice, do things for you, etc. to cheer you up - he'd rather see you smile more than anything else

oh but that's for personal relations, if we're talking about his whole mafia boss thing... well.... he's ruthless

no apologies, in fact, would anyone make it out alive from an argument from the boss?

i'll leave that up to your imagination

MYSTA RIAS

ok no, he's THE pettiest in luxiem

he is out here fighting tooth and nail in any kind of argument unless there is solid evidence of said topic - with photos, sound recordings,etc.

if he's wrong, he'll take it like a champ and say he's wrong (but he'll be sulky about it.. just a little)

he's great with apologies too, a little slow with them, but great nontheless

the way he apologizes is just to sit you down and profusely apologize to you

that's it lmao

OR he's the type to move on quickly from an argument (i mean just like my asian parents /slapped)

he won't bring up the argument up again, but he will cry if it was brought up again

SHU YAMINO

the most difficult to get into a legitimate argument with because he's the most logical one here

this is going two ways - either he's actually correct or this is the most gaslight,gatekeep,girlboss of him ever

when it comes to arguments, shu often gets into mundane arguments that are absolute nonsensical because he tries to reason them out with logic, but other than that he refrains from getting involved with serious matters (unless need be)

when it comes to apologies, shu sends a funny meme and hopes that it brings a smile to your face - he's not that great with words, so to compensate, he'll try his best to make you smile

VOX AKUMA

I think he would be a big baby over most kinds of argument, especially afterwards

he's a little scary when it comes to arguments (i mean he is a demon after all) and he does raise his voice

but afterwards, no matter what, he'll crawl back to you and apologize profusely to you for raising his voice and for the things he's said

he's in tears man

if it is for serious matters, of course his sincerity can be most felt through just sitting down and chatting about where both parties are wrong, where he was wrong and how to fix these mistakes

[tis-miss-mae]

this whole situation with wilbur and his "apology" has got me all worked up. I'm glad he said something so those who were unconvinced it was him can move on, but what he said makes little difference

to sum things up, Wilbur admitted he was "slobbish, disrespectful, and selfish," was "shocked" by abuse allegations and thought the biting was consensual, apologized for "any pain that I caused," and believes he's a better person now and wants to earn and maintain others' trust

I'm all about extending second chances and not forcing people to stay at the lowest point or in their worst mistakes. everyone has a chance to become a better person and should pursue that chance. that doesn't mean they'll regain what was lost or be forgiven by all; there are consequences to our actions and avoiding those should never be the goal. that said, I genuinely hope that wilbur is actually working on himself and is becoming a better person

I just don't feel like I have much of a reason to believe that is true rn. his "apology" felt icky, like he knew he was caught and was trying to salvage his reputation. he never directly apologized for his actions or admitted to being wrong, aside from his "slobbish, disrespectful, and selfish" disposition at the end of the relationship. he didn't even say her name

Shubble's accusation against him were more than just biting and selfishness. she said he bit her to the point where they "needed" a safe word (he should've just been able to stop biting so hard or completely), would purposefully bite until the safe word had been yelled and then would bite some more, or grind his teeth, or smirk after doing it. the bruising was so bad that wilbur noted that it looked abusive and switched to biting concealed parts of her body (!!). he claimed to miss her but wouldn't give her time. he would have her clean his apartment and would purposefully not clean because he knew she would be there to do it. he lied about his activities and how long his friends would be in the area, thus controlling Shubble's. he expected her to pay for more than she should have, and wouldn't pay for things he agreed to. he returned her clothes that she asked for after moving out, but he sold every other item of hers that was left. and these are just the things I remember/know about

wilbur's "apology" didn't even touch the serious stuff that affected Shubble so much. it tried to paint him a better light as a man who had made mistakes and was learning from them, but instead it just helped to pull back the layers and revealed that he is a man that cares for his reputation above others' feelings and a man that refuses to actually acknowledge the weight of his actions or commit to doing better

disappointing doesn't begin to describe it

[qqueenofhades]

I hope this isn’t weird or something that I should just deal with on my own and all that, so I apologize in advance because this is incredibly recent and I’m still hurting and trying to figure out what to do next.

One of my friends of quite a while now turned out to be a massive fuckin transphobe. Yippie. The thing is, he’s fully in support of the non-straight side of the queer community, always has been, but apparently that’s where he draws the line, and I just learned that today, and it sucks. It sucks so much that someone I really cared about turns out to be a kinda terrible person who ended up saying some incredibly hurtful and disrespectful things when it all came to light.

But the thing is, while the trans hatred is DEFINITELY there, it all seems to be stemming from a place of generational hatred and ignorance because he just can’t see how his actions and words are hurtful. It turns malicious when he’s pushed, as I learned the hard way, but I feel the root of it is simply ignorance.

We got in an argument via text, which, of course, is always the worst way to do things but it was a normal conversation that went downhill incredibly quickly and I’m like 3+ hours away so we can’t hash it out in person and I wasn’t willing to just go and call.

For your uh. Viewing displeasure. I’d send screenshots (and can, if you’d like additional context) but people who have a stake in this are very likely to see this and I don’t particularly want my name attached without anon.

I didn't say that transgender people are mistakes, and I didn't mean to suggest that. People can make the mistake into believing that they are who they are not

Yes, I don't believe a transwoman is a real woman. They are biological differences between both man and woman that can't be changed

Cue me going on a bit of a tangent about suicide rates, Trevor project, intersex people being a thing, what transitioning is like, etc etc. I was pissed, I was hurt, and I admit my first reaction was anger but I also think I did a very good job of keeping calm, explaining things, while also trying to impress upon him just how incredibly shitty saying those things is

Why are you so mad? I just wanted to open up to you. I didn't mean to sound rude or anything like that

Upon which I explained that I’ve lost friends to suicide and yet again how problematic some of his statements have been

I think we both need some time to think about this

I don't. I know exactly where I stand with this issue and who I care for and what it means to me personally. You're more than welcome to call so we can talk about it that way, if that's what you'd prefer or what would help you

It seems like things right now are a bit heated, I just want to talk about when things have calmed down

If that's what you need in order to decide whether you support trans people or not, go ahead. As I said, I know exactly what my opinion on this is, and it's on the side of the people whose beliefs don't disrespect certain people's existence

I respect and love everybody, but I'm not going to change my values or beliefs because they "disrespect" other people's values or beliefs

Which… yeah. That’s where it left off. Other shit was said, other shit went down, and I stand by everything and don’t regret it, even if this guy used to be my friend.

But as I said, I very much feel that this is coming from a place of ignorance and having been taught by religious, queerphobic parents, having very little experience to the queer world and having no understanding of our history, our pain, and the battles we’re still fighting. I believe he genuinely doesn’t see how his words are hurtful and how his actions genuinely cause issues and how his words are the things that drive trans people to suicide and hatred.

Which is what I’m reaching out for, what can I do, I don’t want to cut him off because I don’t want to abandon him to be a hateful person because I believe everyone, however horrible their beliefs, can learn and grow and change, and I want to know any sort of resources or help or advice you have, anything to try to fight that ignorance-based disrespect and make him realize that they’re not just words and that his behavior isn’t just his personal beliefs, that his beliefs are genuinely harming other people.

Thank you, and much love to you. We all need a bit more kindness and love and acceptance right now with this world we live in.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, and it's understandable that you feel deeply upset and betrayed. At this time, however, I don't think you have any obligation to "educate" him or do more than you have already done. If this is a friendship-ending issue, well... it sucks, but it is what it is. If you want to, you can communicate that he's welcome to reach out to you again if his feelings change. Otherwise, it's not your responsibility to continue or spend extra time trying to talk him around. It's something that people either accept or they don't, and while feelings can evolve, it's usually something that will happen with time and space and on their own accord. So yeah. It's up to you whether you want to signal that you're up for further communication or not, if you want to take some time to let feelings heal, or if you don't want to continue being friends with someone who feels that way. Either way, it's not your responsibility to endlessly try to talk him around. Make a decision about what you feel comfortable with, set that boundary, and do your best. It sucks, but such is life sometimes. Alas.

[applecubeblog]

Head cannons about a friend's OC

I do not control the muses. When they offer me ideas, I can only hope I'll have the MP to write those ideas down, no matter what they may be. In this case, it was about my friend's Warrior of Light, Shio Shinju. You can find her over on @the-littlest-kojin. Now, despite looking like a Raen, she was raised by the Kojin of the Blue, and is one, far as I'm concerned. It did get me to thinking, how would other NPC's respond and react to learning that about Shio? Nice as it would be that they would all be lovely, supportive, and accepting, they are not perfect. As anyone who feels their body does not reflect who they are will tell you, there can be a wide range of reactions from people. Thus I present, a list. Please note, there are some names on this list that do not pop up until later expansions, including names that don't pop up until the latest expansion. The names for Endwalker I'll try to put put under the Read More. So consider yourself warned.

Minfillia- doesn't understand, "tries", messes up a lot

Thancred- doesn't understand, still tries, never messes up

Y'shtola- doesn't understand, asks a lot of questions that end up bordering on, to being, actively rude. One time, a Thancred that was already having a bad day snapped and started flipping Y'shtola's questions back on her. She quickly got the idea and the questions have significantly lessened. 

Urianger- went on a near poetic spree about how it's the soul that matters, not the flesh. Never messes up. 

Lyse- tries to understand, doesn't fully get it, but tries anyway. Sometimes messes up. "confused but she got the spirit" 

Papalymo- outright refuses. This earns him an earful from Lyse (and Thancred in private) every time. 

At this point Thancred is recognizing and standing with Shio on her identity just as much out of spite as anything. Part of it is still trying to respect Shio, but part of it is out of spite now.

Alphinaud- doesn't understand, trying to, but questions are worse than Y'shtola's somehow

Alisaie- kind of gets it, is trying since it makes Shio happy. Actually does her own research and chastises her brother. 

Tataru- very confused, but does try. She also messes up, but her apologies feel more genuine than Minfillia's. Incorporates little turtles somewhere in each outfit made. 

Krile- understands and accepts immediately, never messes up. Something something echo. 

G'raha- may be the worst. Says he understands, says he cares, but clearly has not, can not, and will not internalize it. His words and his actions blatantly at odds.

Estinien- kind of gets it? He assumes it's something akin to how powerful dragoons are basically part dragon. Having seen Shio's prowess in water, he assumes all Kojin are this amazing aquatic warrior race. This was all internal, so Shio may not be aware that was his logic, but he did seem to get it, and didn't mess up. When he was visiting the Far East, he did stop in Tamamizu, and upon talking with the Kojin there, came to understand better. He apologizes next time he sees Shio, saying only "for not fully understanding you". 

During Stormblood, Lyse and Alisaie comment on how Shio is "like a Kojin!", something they've both done often, not realizing. But this time it was within earshot of one of Shio's brothers, who pulls them aside and explains why what they are saying is wrong. Shio is not like a Kojin, she is one. Alisaie and Lyse understand, and feel awful, apologizing. Both do not make the mistake again. 

Hien, Gosestsu, Yugiri- immediately understand and accept, apologizing for ever messing up. 

Also Hein has a discussion with Shio late one night, after a bunch of sake, when he thinks Gosestsu and Yugiri aren't listening. He wonders if he might be happier as Xeala, talking wistfully and joyfully about his time among them in the Steppes, how now in this palace he feels out of place. He claims it was merely a joke. He's lying to himself. It was not. 

Aymeric- smiles, nods, doesn't understand. Gets what literature he can, but it only confuses him more. It's not until Estinien comes back and explains it to him, does he kinda sorta get it. 

Raubahn- at first, thought that's what Raen called themselves. It wasn't until meeting Yugiri that he was corrected, then had things explained to him. Understands better now, though also believes the Kojin are a powerful underwater warrior peoples. 

Nanamo- confused, asks questions earnestly, trying to learn. Thinks she gets it, and kind of does. Would like to see Tamamizu one day. 

Merlwyb- really does not get it for the longest time. She does eventually come around, and makes clear any sign of calling Shio anything but Kojin is a sign of disrespect, but it does take her a bit. She may be a force for progress and change in Limsa, but she's still Limsan. Stubborn as any of them. 

Kann-E Senna- genuinely hard to tell. Always keeps that same practiced smile on her face. She calls Shio "Kojin", but does she believe or understand? Unclear. 

Gaius- "Why would you ever want be one of those beasts-" gets cut off by angry turtle

Zeno- "If I gutted every beastman there, then would you fight me with that same fervor?" which threatening that does work, much to his joy

Feo Ul- first needs an explanation of what Kojin are. Then points out "well of course you're one! You swim better than any other, you have respect for the spirits, and I've seen my precious sapling take hits from those nasty lightwardens straight to her back and been fine! So clearly you must have a hard shell back there!" then after a moment. "[appropriate pet name], if you are displeased with your form, know that I can shape it into whatever will make you happy. I'll adore you no matter what shape you take."

Matoya- Doesn't care what Shio is (and that is how she terms it), just leave her alone. She does chastise Alphinaud and Y'shtola at one point- "Let people be who they are, and mind your own!" 

Ameliance- welcomes "Shio of the Blue", having already been told in letters. Does her best to be supportive. 

Fourchenault- very pointedly avoids referring to Shio by anything. Eventually is called out on it by Alisaie. 

Vrtra- accepts it. No big fanfare or anything, just accepts it

Nidhana- rolls with it easily, just wants Shio’s help and to research Shio

Meteion, Hermes, Hythlodaeus, Emet-Selch (past), Venat- have no point of reference for Kojin, so assume Shio is just what one is. Should be noted the description is eerily similar to Azem’s true form.

Emet-Selch (present)- knows what a Kojin is now, and that it is similar to Azem’s true form. He knows it should be Shio’s true shape, and that, if things were right, she could take that shape easily. The fact that she can’t disgusts him.

[1lovepeace]

Do you think that Viren isn't really to blame for Rayla issues since the real issue are the parental figures who abandoned her. Also, since Claudia and Rayla are so similar do you think that they could become friends?

Hey @archmagecallum79. Really appreciate you, fam. There are so many enormous, complicated, compelling factors, accountability, and responsibility when it comes to Rayla's losses and tragedies that she's endured and went through. It's not only because of Viren, for he's literally the cause behind what happened to her parents and Runaan. Whose actions led to Rayla, Runaan, and Ethari believing they were traitors, Runaan taking Rayla on his doomed mission when she was literally just a child for redeeming honor that was never even tarnished nor tainted, leading him to realize that he endangered, jeopardized, sabotaged and abandoned Rayla's life and breaking the trust of her and her parents, trapping them in coins among others. Took the lives of Rayla's squad and led her to being banished from her home among others.

However, Viren is not the only one to blame for this. You can argue that all four parents also caused Rayla to feel neglected and abandoned because of their actions and choices. With Rayla's parents, they genuinely loved Rayla, and even though they were chosen to serve on the Dragonguard, they did everything they could to ensure their only daughter would never be alone and that she has a home with Runaan and Ethari.

However, with Runaan and Ethari, they are parents who are far more complicated and way more complex because, while admittedly, I've massively condemned both of them for the choices, actions, and decisions they've made, for their own failures, wrongdoings, and negligence as fathers, I also believe that they did everything in their power and will to welcome and bring Rayla into their lives and showing her that she is well loved and appreciated in their family.

But the fact remains that they have abandoned their relationship and family foundation with their daughter: Rayla's parents sering the Dragons and being ghosted by people without a care in the world, Runaan suffering from all the unspeakable guilt and unbearable regret for burdening Rayla with responsibility on a mission that she was never meant, ready nor suited for, thus hurting from the realization of having put Rayla in a horrendous situation and constantly reflecting and dwelling on his failures in his responsibilities as a father, and Ethari, who was consumed by grief and heartbreak, made the worst mistake of his life ghosting Rayla, which he monumentally and immeasurably regrets it, also suffering from the heartbreaking guilt and overwhelming remorse, and much like Runaan, constantly reflecting and dwelling on his own failures and mistakes as a father for those last two years.

So all in all, they have been left to bear the hurtful burdens and damaging reprecussions of what they've done. There are not horrible people, but they've made choices that they're undoubtedly regretting every moment of. Seeing how they not only caused Rayla but devastatingly caused themselves such heartbreak, hurt, pain, grief, and loss. Facing the heart-wrenching truth about what she went through, always suffering and enduring such unfathomable despair, uncontrollable guilt, unspeakable regret, unimaginable shame, and indescribable remorse. Endlessly thinking about all their wrongs and disappointments as parents.

But that doesn't mean there's no chance or hope of them having a redemption/atonement arc with Rayla. I have strong confidence that all four parents would do anything and everything in their power, and strong will to not only making things right, but alleviating Rayla of every single moment that was left unspoken, unresolved and unanswered of the last two years. All while painfully admitting and humongously apologizing to Rayla for what they did, learning from their regretful mistakes as parents. Showing and proving to her how important and precious she is to all of them, how much they truly love her and enormously care about her, how she deserves so much better from them, that they sincerely value her life, how they only want the best for her, and just how deeply proud they are of her. It can also demonstrate how they're willing to accept change and changing for Rayla in ways they never did before. Realizing how important and valuable family is, how important and valuable she is, and showing the unwavering commitment towards truly reconciling, healing, and mending their family bond with Rayla. This family needs so much therapy and time to untangle everything.

Given that TDP is filled with many themes such as grief, love, acceptance, redemption, forgiveness, second chances, understanding, and learning from the cycles of violence, war, and vengeance. Even when it seems all hope is lost, when hope and faith are found again, it can blossom into something even more beautiful and prosperous. And I believe the moonfam has the biggest chance of learning, embracing, and building an understanding, trust, unwavering devotion, and newfound family foundation with each other. I have faith in them.

[sluttyten]

So I guess I'm not happy if Lucas is that kinda person but at the same time, it has nothing to do with me or anyone else who isn't dating him. His personal life is just that: PERSONAL. It's none of our business, all we need to be concerned with is the music and I just hope he doesn't have to leave the group over it. This shit reminds me of the Wonho situation all over again, yeah maybe they had some issues in the past or did things that showed poor judgement but it shouldn't affect their career now because the two have nothing to do with each other. It's more of a commentary on idol culture where these poor people who are still human and just wanna make music get put up on a pedestal and suddenly everything they do, even what they did before they debuted is under a microscope and they get punished for every little thing fans don't like. We don't own them, they aren't our friends, they aren't gonna date us so it's none of our concern and what do you even want them to do about it when the news comes to light because it's not like they can go back in time and not do it. Imagine if dumb shit you did as a teen or young adult like cheating on a partner or smoking weed affected your career later in life? It's so ridiculous.

You’re right that sometimes the actions of our pasts shouldn’t be able to affect our futures so badly (with obviously a few very major exceptions), but I feel like the issue with this Lucas thing is that allegedly he’s abusing the power of an idol-fan relationship to influence fans to sleep with him, which I don’t really see as too big of a problem, like I feel like it’s common knowledge that celebrities around the globe do use their fame and adoration by their fans to get fans to sleep with them, it’s just the other accusations that go along with this, that he lied to these girls, that he allegedly had them buy expensive clothes for him and pay for hotel rooms and things like that, as well as one of them alleging that he refused to practice safe sex with her when she asked him to wear a condom, like that’s the stuff that I don’t agree with, and I know it’s all in his personal life and it doesn’t truly affect any of us, but just knowing that he does things like this, that he might use fans for sex, stuff like that is definitely enough to turn fans off of an artist.

People can separate the music from the artist’s personal life and good for them. I think this isn’t a case as major as like the kr*s w* case or like all the shit that went down surrounding se*ngri and the other guys involved in that, but it’s obviously something that has upset a lot of fans, and I think as I’m someone that’s not a part of Chinese culture, it doesn’t matter if I’m personally offended by this stuff, but if the cfans as a whole are largely upset by this due to the things that have been happening in their entertainment industry lately, then that’s valid and we should listen to them

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

I like your Restoration!Crewel-daughter thing, and thinking of book one and that Grimm is their companion and meeting Ace and Deuce thing

And since Grimm is collor by Riddle she can't magically come back to school as in the rules is if their companion or fair godmother/godfather are imprisoned ( Grim being collred by Riddle )/missing/capture they can't go back unless they are back with the student

Time skip to after the over bolt how would Riddle be since she told him nicely that maybe he can't be perfect but he can improve himself to get along with his borm members and maybe be bit more leanyents with the rules and be all fair with him as she did with her new friends Ace and Deuce

( you can used all three of them if you want I just love your work )

Well thank you darling

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

I love this concept of you starting the original story while being stuck there with Grim

But THE Princess Academy wouldn’t let Grim be the Fairy Godfather of any of their students

Let alone letting him on your campus

I spoke about this in another headcannon with an alternate version of Crewel daughter but you do get a godmother

Things are changed only slightly but I can see the similar thing happening in this scenario

Grim, Ace, and Deuce, the troublemakers, include you in their shenanigans when you are just casually trying to complete your commissions and projects around the school

When you do go with them to confront Riddle he automatically just collars you out of association

“H-hey I-i think you made a mistake collaring me. I don’t even go to this scho–”

“SILENCE! I BANISHED ALL OF YOU GO!”

Restoration Crewel daughter is less confrontational and the one that gets incredibly angry is your godmother

“OH THAT BRAT!!! If this doesn’t solve itself soon I can’t get you back to campus!!! AndthenI’ll getcalledbackbutifi’mlinkedtoyoutheymighttear meapart!!AAAAAA”

Unlike the other Godmother who is the golden teacher veteran this one is the newbie anxiety inducing teacher that the  school reluctantly employed

Of course she’ll break the typical role of letting you figure this out and come crying to your crew 

Setting an intense sense of urgency

When they confront them again like the original you let Ace do a lot of the work 

And when he finally over blots you participate in subduing him 

When he comes to and he finally apologizes for the error of his ways you still don’t say anything

You wait until he comes to you apologizing about his behavior and what not

You sigh before saying this,” I’ll forgive you…if you do this one thing for me without protest.”

After school you seem to have invited him and Crowley into the head office with Professor Trein and Crewel

But they’re not kneeling on the floor like the headmaster and him

You go off

Worse than Riddle you yell at the both of them for endangering the students, putting the livelihood of a fairy, and just their in action of a bigger problem

The professor and your dad are just there as refferees taking cautious steps when you get especially done

By the time your grilling is done they’re apologizing profusely 

And you patted their heads gently like you didn’t just threaten to beat the life out of them with your belt

“Well I’m glad you learned your lesson. I hope to see improvement from you the next time I’m in the area.”

The two take days to recover 

But when they do Riddle’s the one detailing his process to becoming better in letters to you

Which you lovingly reciprocate with your praise and genuine conversation

Through his letters he finds he might think more of you 

Of course he’s waiting until the day you return not as an adversary but as a friend

And when you do show up again he’s brimming with excitement to keep showing you his progress 

I can see him falling in love with you with even more as he gets to know you for who you are

And while your away he’s definitely not above implementing rules that will have you spending more time in Heartslaybul

“As of the rules about etiquette with a guest of Night Raven I ask that you join me for tea and tarts. See, a reasonably polite rule that can respectfully be followed.”

[wonda-cat]

Misconceptions About Tommyinnit’s Character That Genuinely INFURIATE Me

Since the recent events following the second L’Manburg Festival and subsequent war, I’ve seen many, many hot takes surrounding the nature of Tommyinnit’s character on the SMP. Some of which annoyed me to the point where I felt compelled to sit down and actually write this. I’m going to only be highlighting the most common complaints or questions I’ve seen, one by one, in hopes of providing a better understanding of Tommy’s character for anyone interested. (I also briefly discuss Techno and Tubbo’s characters as well.)

If you’ve said similar things to what I’m going to be discussing below, please know that it’s perfectly understandable how you’d come to these conclusions. Some of these aspects of Tommy’s character are not always obvious; especially if being watched from another streamer’s POV. This may become quite lengthy, so bear with me for now.

“Tommy’s motives are all over the place. He can’t decide whether he wants the discs back or not.”

Tommy is actually one of the most motivationally consistent characters on the entire Dream SMP. Even Techno, someone completely confident in their ideals, does more motivational flipping than Tommy. From the very start of the story, Tommy has always cared for three things; L’Manburg, Tubbo, and his music discs. However, him caring for something is not itself a motivation. 

Surprisingly enough, his motivation isn’t even just, ‘Get my discs back,’ like many assume it is. Tommy’s one true motivation, since the end of the Independence War, has always been, ‘Keep things the way they are now.’ 

Tommy’s one fatal flaw is that he is resistant to change and refuses to let go of the past. This is seen through all of his actions and words; in all conflicts involving him. This flaw is the drive to all of Tommy’s mistakes. Burning down George’s house, an action which resulted in him getting exiled, was done out of a desire to pull pranks the way he used to before the first war. His friendship with Ranboo started because Tommy said he reminded him of Tubbo, back before he was President. 

Tommy still talks highly of Wilbur because he chooses to remember him as the wise, kind mentor who cared for him. This motive is the reason he defends L’Manburg so fiercely; it’s his memory of a better past. This is why he holds grudges more often than any other character; especially refusing to forgive Techno after he killed Tubbo during the Manburg Massacre.

It’s why Tommy falls under extreme distress whenever Tubbo or Quackity tell him that something will never be the same again. This motivation is entirely formed from an underlying desire for peace and comfort, something Tommy has been denied since being forced into a life wrought with war and death. To accept change, to Tommy, is painful and terrifying. But he will only ever truly be happy when he finally learns to let go.

“Why do the discs matter so much to Tommy? They’re not actually worth anything.”

Tommy’s discs are much more than just any ordinary pair of music discs. They were never important for their material worth, but for what Tommy was willing to sacrifice in order to keep them. Tommy is entirely what gives the discs their value. 

Tommy also commonly operates under the Sunk-Cost Fallacy, wherein he’s invested too much of himself into something to just abandon it, even if it’s causing him problems. This mentality is a huge piece of what keeps him tied to both L’Manburg and to his discs. He’s sacrificed too much at this point to simply let them go. If he admits the discs are worthless, then he’s admitting that he wasted all this time and effort, just to keep them.

The discs also act as a constant source of hope for Tommy because they are directly tied with his motivations as a character. They’re something he’s had since the very beginning. They’re something he used to listen to with Tubbo on their shared bench. 

To Tommy, they symbolize a life before war, filled with comfort and peace. They are a love letter to his country and his late mentor Wilbur. They are a physical representation of Tubbo’s companionship. They are the only thing, besides L’Manburg and his best friend, that gives him the hope that he can one day return things to the way they used to be. 

This ideal, paired with Tommy’s refusal to let go, has left him ruthlessly pursuing the things he’s lost. Not his music discs, but his peace and comfort, his friendship, his country, his mentor Wilbur, and his life before war.

In his desperation to hold onto his prized possession, it has only hurt and pushed away the people that love him. If Tommy continues to ignore this reality, while still refusing to resolve his major flaw entwined with it, he will lose all that the discs had once stood for. He will lose his country, then his friend Tubbo, and then he will lose himself.

“Tommy never grows or learns from his mistakes. This makes him a badly written character.”

Characters do not have to constantly learn from their actions to be well-written. Tommy is one of the best examples of this. The fact that his growth is infrequent is the entire point of his character; it’s completely stemmed from his fatal flaw. 

By addressing himself, he would be accepting change, something that terrifies him; something he stubbornly resists until he is absolutely forced to confront it. Contrary to popular belief, Tommy knows when he makes mistakes, but he pretends to be ignorant as to avoid facing reality. He digs his head in the sand despite knowing better, puppeteering the person he used to be during happier times, now gone.

In spite of his infrequent growth, the idea that Tommy still hasn’t learned anything isn’t quite correct either. Tommy, as of the last three plot streams, has shown incredible character development. By giving up his discs again, he had finally demonstrated that Tubbo is more important to him than his possessions. Speaking as a makeshift leader, he put aside his issues with others to rally them together against a common threat, something which Tommy had never been able to do before. He owned up to all of his mistakes openly, apologizing to everyone he’s ever hurt in one place. 

He apologized to Tubbo after they were reunited and came to terms with the fact that Tubbo was forced to exile him without choice, finally forgiving him. He was kind to Sapnap and learned how to be his friend after months of bitter rivalry. And these are only a few examples. This isn’t to say Tommy has overcome/fixed everything because he clearly hasn’t. There are still major things Tommy needs to work through that remain unaddressed, the biggest being his complicated relationship with Technoblade.

“Tommy only cares about himself. He does everything in his power to be the hero, always putting himself in the center of attention, especially during Doomsday.”

Tommy, since the start of the L’Manburg War for Independence, has never set out to be a hero. Not once. He may fall into the role of the protagonist, but his identity as a hero was pushed onto him by others. Giving up the discs was his only option during the Independence War. 

So when Wilbur called him a hero for it, Tommy said he didn’t feel like he was. During the November 16th War, Tommy again said he didn’t feel like a hero because he had lost what he thought was everything at the time. During exile, Tommy certainly knew he was no hero. And upon reuniting with Tubbo, he admitted to feeling like the farthest thing from it. That he’d hurt everyone and all he wanted to do now was fix it. 

The day before Doomsday, Tommy only took a leadership position because no one else was willing to, filling the role for Tubbo, who was crumbling under pressure. He had no choice but to try to bring everyone together, or fight alone. Most viewers never saw this during Doomsday, but before the battle, almost everyone who had vowed to fight alongside L’Manburg had abandoned them the very next day. They were convinced it was going to be destroyed either way, no matter what they did, so they chose not to see it through to the end; ultimately leaving Tommy and those who remained to fight a losing battle, alone. 

After about a third of the way through the battle, it became clear to everyone that they could do nothing to win. One by one, everyone stopped fighting and stood by to watch their country go up in smoke. Tommy was the only person on the battlefield who refused to stand down and give up. And so he took over the role as leader again, trying his best to keep them alive, to keep Tubbo hopeful; to keep fighting, no matter what. 

However, what most people don’t realize, is that this isn’t Tommy trying to be a hero or force himself into the spotlight. This is Tommy trying to convince himself to keep going. Because whenever things start to look hopeless, Tommy simply chooses to ignore them. He puts on a happy face and soldiers through it because that’s all he knows how to do. Tommy, at his core, is someone who wants peace through stagnation. He doesn’t want to fight, although causing the occasional friendly conflict is how he finds fun. He doesn’t set out to purposely hurt others. 

Tommy may come across as self-centered, but this is because he is an extremely extroverted character. He finds energy and joy in the attention of others, both good and bad. It’s why he’s always seeking the approval of others and, oftentimes, will destructively insert himself into another person’s life in order to find it. 

Out of every character in the story, Tommy is the most drawn to praise and positive reinforcement. He is constantly seeking out mentors and friends because Tommy needs someone else to help him feel confident in his own identity and abilities. It’s why Wilbur was such a positive influence on him. His boisterous confidence has always been a front because if anyone were to actually hurt him, he knows it will make his self-esteem crumble instantly. 

This is part of why Dream’s manipulation was so effective against him. By isolating him, he’s left without energy and looking to another person’s guidance. Tommy outwardly may seem independent and rude, but just under the skin, he’s unconfident and lost when he’s by himself. Tommy will only grow from this flaw when he finds his own identity and inner confidence; when he finally learns to be okay with being alone.

“Tommy goes to the festival solely to get his disc back and then tells Tubbo to give it away immediately after. That doesn’t make any sense.”

Before the screaming match between the two friends during the second L’Manburg Festival, Tommy had been in exile, manipulated by Dream for long enough to lose his will to carry on. It is because of him that Tommy’s reality becomes distorted, long after fleeing from his abuser. This mangling of ideals leads Tommy to subconsciously believe that L’Manburg and Tubbo are unsalvageable. 

Therefore, the only thing he has hopes of retrieving are his discs, which are easier to manage than the latter two things. And so Tommy does reprehensible things at the behest of Techno in a vain hope of getting them back, going so far as to kidnap and torture for them. This ultimately culminates in a confrontation between the ex-friends, quickly turning violent. It is in this violence that we see Tommy has sunk to his absolute lowest point in his journey. 

Swinging his axe, he nearly kills his friend as he delivers a string of words that cause the room to silence instantly. He says the discs were always worth more than his friend. Within the quiet of the room, Tommy is forced to reflect on everything he’s done. How he kidnapped and tortured Connor. How he accidentally drowned Fundy. How he traumatized Ranboo. 

And now he’s hurt Tubbo, the one person he has always sought to protect; someone he vowed to never hurt. This realization causes Tommy to break. He’s so ashamed of himself that he can’t look at anyone. Tommy knows now that he is worse than anyone he’s ever hated. 

With pain in his voice, he tries and fails to apologize to Tubbo in the moment. The only way he knows to redeem himself now is to prove to Tubbo, after everything, that he can still put the discs aside. And so he does.

“The fact that Tommy is still trying to get his discs back after L’Manburg was destroyed is unreasonable and ridiculous.”

Tommy deals with grief in an interesting way, doing something very similar to Techno. His grief almost instantly becomes anger and a drive to prove himself. It morphs into a need for vengeance in response to injustice, always. 

After the destruction of L’Manburg, Tommy saying he wants the discs back is a double-sided motivator. The obvious side being: Tommy still needs them to feel comfort. The subtle side beneath it: Tommy is using them as an excuse to find Dream and kill him. To make him pay for helping destroy their home, hurting his friends, and abusing him in exile. 

Upon the loss of his home, I’d also argue the discs have only grown more important to Tommy in the aftermath. Typically, in grief, people hold onto things that survive devastation far more than if the tragic event never occurred. If your eldest child dies, one may hold their surviving children tighter. If your house burns down, one may deeply treasure a box of items that survived the flames. Tommy’s desperation after losing so much is entirely understandable.

On top of this, the discs are still the core to Tommy’s fatal flaw. They are what keeps him from achieving total happiness, so him getting over this intrinsic part of himself so easily would make for an unsatisfying character arc. He still has to work for his happiness in order to change for the better. 

To add, I’ve seen a lot of people complaining that Tommy is still prioritizing the discs over Tubbo, especially in that moment. And while I mostly agree, there are some interactions that stand out to me as being different between the pair that may imply otherwise. Tommy says a few times that despite L’Manburg being destroyed, he still has something left to lose; each time, turning to look at Tubbo. 

This subtly implies that losing Tubbo would be as devastating as losing his home. Tubbo also never voices disagreement over Tommy’s continued pursuit of the item. However, Tubbo frequently does what he thinks will make others happy, so this doesn’t implicitly mean support for Tommy either. Besides these two things, this is still Tommy’s fatal flaw shining through, continuing to hurt others around him. 

I only hope Tubbo can learn to stand up for himself and voice his real thoughts to Tommy now, after everything. It would provide at least some desperately-needed closure for Tubbo’s character.

“How could Tommy betray Techno like that? Techno told him upfront what he was going to do.”

While it’s true that Techno was obvious about his plans, Tommy was also just as upfront with Techno about what he thought of it. In fact, maybe even more so, considering Techno attempted to hide them from Tommy for a good portion of their partnership. Whenever Techno brought up the idea of destroying L’Manburg or hurting Tubbo, Tommy would always remind Techno that he didn’t want to hurt anyone. And that if Techno ever did, Tommy would be there to stand in his way. He never once stopped saying this. 

Tommy’s two major positive character traits have always been his undying loyalty and his strength to never give up, even in the face of death. Two classically heroic qualities, both of which, ironically, reinforce his fatal flaw. His refusal to change makes him stubborn; stubbornness being the only quality that makes unwavering loyalty and extreme persistence feasible. 

Because of these two traits, it was impossible from the start for Dream to completely break Tommy’s spirit and for Techno to get him to agree to anything too extreme. Despite this, Techno already had no hope of keeping Tommy on his side after the events of the day before the Festival. During it, Tommy had asked multiple times for Techno to give his word not to hurt anyone. That they’d only threaten to spawn a wither, get Techno’s remaining weapons in exchange, then leave. That’s it.

Techno avoided directly promising Tommy but still agreed not to regardless. So when Techno chose to spawn the wither anyway, despite Tommy urging them to leave multiple times, whatever trust Tommy had with him went completely out the window. Thus, when the threat was finally real, that Techno would make due on his promise to burn his home country to the ground and slaughter his friends, Tommy intervened. It would be unreasonable to expect Tommy not to stand against him in that moment, especially after his mental breakdown which ensued as a result of him nearly killing his best friend. 

Adding salt to the wound on Tommy’s end, Techno decided to also align himself with Dream, someone Techno knew Tommy was afraid of. This might have been a way to purposely hurt Tommy. More likely, it was because Dream and him shared a common goal in the moment and Techno desperately needed allies.

However, the implication of Techno siding with Tommy’s abuser most certainly hurt him, regardless of its original intentions. This is possibly why Tommy kept insisting through Doomsday that Techno betrayed him, avoiding actually telling anyone the reason as to why. If he couldn’t find the words to describe what Dream did to him, even to Tubbo, he certainly wouldn’t be able to tell Techno either.

“Techno gave Tommy everything, only to be repaid with betrayal.”

This statement regarding Tommy is the one I see most often. (It is also the one I get the most heated about.)

Dream’s character is well known for his manipulation tactics against other characters; pitting them against each other, crushing them under his heel, bending their will to conform to his own. It’s what makes him an interesting villain. It’s something fun to discuss. 

But is it still fun to discuss manipulation tactics if they’re so subtle, almost no one notices them? This is the paradigm Technoblade’s character falls into. While people know Techno for his laid-back personality, dry humor, and complex motivations, many fail to recognize him as a manipulator. The reason why this is so hard to spot is because it is mostly unintentional on behalf of the character. Dream performs his craft with intention, Techno does it without realizing. 

As well as this being unwitting, it is sandwiched between Techno’s actual attempts to connect with Tommy and care for him. Thus, making the manipulation feel less damaging. The only problem is, this still hurts Tommy just as much, regardless of the intentions behind it. Especially after just escaping Dream, Tommy’s reality and sense of identity are horribly distorted. In this vulnerable state, he desperately needs healing and someone to help ground him. This is what makes him even more susceptible to Techno’s influence. 

And because it is much subtler, it is harder to notice, and much harder to break free from. Despite Tommy claiming to hate Techno for what he did on November 16th, he still chose to flee to his house because it was the only place he could think of going, as well as being the safest area possible. After the failed execution, Techno mentioned potentially hurting Tubbo through a vengeance plot. Tommy voiced extreme distress over this, to which Techno threatened to kick him out of his house. 

Tommy then says he’s fine being homeless because he doesn’t want anything to do with someone who would hurt his friend. This is when Techno decides to weaponize Tommy’s own trauma against him. To be fair to Techno again, Tommy never told him the extent of the abuse he suffered in exile. But Techno isn’t stupid. He knows Tommy is extremely afraid of Dream, and for good reason. 

So he tells Tommy that if he were kicked out, he’d be defenseless. That if he were out there all alone, Dream would find him very easily. That Dream would drag him right back to Logstedshire in an instant. He notices the way Tommy reacts to this, how quickly he changes his mind about being kicked out. He continues to use this trauma repeatedly in order to keep Tommy under his roof, no matter how disagreeable he gets about Techno’s plans. He knows he can��t retrieve his weapons alone because he has no leverage. 

Therefore, using Tommy like a wild card was a major side strategy. Techno knows it will hurt Tubbo by doing this and may make the President more willing to compromise. In addition to this, many of the strategies Techno utilizes are Narcissistic manipulation tactics, categorized by their intent to keep the victim in a position below the abuser in terms of worth. This includes Techno using the silent treatment as a punishment, something which hurts Tommy since he craves affection from others. 

He also attempts to isolate Tommy by telling him he doesn’t need anyone else; that everyone abandoned him during exile (something which Dream has also said.) He tells Tommy that he’s only alive because Techno is there to defend him and supply for him, as well as constantly reminding Tommy to not let any compliments he receives get to his head. These are both meant to make Tommy depend more on Techno and doubt his own abilities. Techno also occasionally engages in subtle gaslighting, attempting to sow doubt in Tommy’s mind about his relationships with Tubbo, Quackity, Ranboo, and Fundy. 

It’s also vital to keep in mind what exactly separates Dream and Techno in this regard. The most important thing being that Techno actually does care about Tommy. He trusts him and wants to earnestly help him. He knows Tommy has been traumatized and abused in some way, but he doesn’t know how to help because he’s not that great with people. It also doesn’t help that Tommy is unable to tell anyone what happened. 

In the end, Techno really does want to be a shield for Tommy. Despite debating handing Tommy over to Dream, it’s more likely Techno was using this as bait for Dream to waste his favor on something useless. After all, he could always save Tommy, should he ask for him to. Techno’s warnings about Tubbo and L’Manburg also come from a place of love, as Techno was personally hurt by them and wants to protect Tommy by telling him to leave it behind. However, just because something is done out of love, doesn’t mean it’s automatically helpful or good for someone. 

There’s no better example of this than in Techno’s most damaging and frequently used tactic: ‘Buy Their Love,’ a technique commonly used on children by narcissistic parents. At first glance, nothing seems wrong. Techno gives Tommy most things he asks for; providing him with food, gifts, protection, and a place to sleep. The manipulation within this arises when the act of kindness is counted as a debt against the person who receives it. That by receiving so many good things, they would be ungrateful to go against their abuser. Doesn’t matter if they emotionally or physically hurt you, they gave you gifts, so you should shut your mouth and allow the abuse to continue. 

Whenever Tommy speaks out against Techno’s violent actions or his plans to hurt his friends, Techno would frequently bring up all his ‘good deeds.’ He consistently reminds Tommy that he could’ve just thrown him back to Dream, but he was too kind. That he went out of his way to give him gear, food, and a roof over his head. That he was kind so Tommy should be quiet and let Techno plot to hurt the people he loves. Or else he’s selfish and ungrateful. Or else Techno will take all of his gifts back and leave him with nothing.

Knowing this, it is horrifying seeing people justifying this behavior by mocking Tommy’s character and calling him ungrateful using this very same fallacy. (Especially for those who grew up being controlled by this very tactic.) 

It is through knowing Techno’s use of the ‘Buy Their Love,’ method that makes Tommy’s, ‘I am worthy,’ response, not one of betrayal, but one of triumph. This moment is a major positive character change for Tommy for many reasons. When Tommy decides to stand against Techno, this causes him to fall back on his most reliable tactic. He insults Tommy and then asks for the Axe of Peace back. Instead of caving, Tommy refuses. 

By keeping the Axe of Peace, Techno’s final gift to him, he is not only rejecting the destruction of all he loves, but he is breaking free from Techno’s manipulation. He says, ‘I am worthy,’ because now he knows his own self-worth. He doesn’t need Techno or Dream to decide it for him. This moment is Tommy finally breaking free from not just Techno, but Dream as well. He is finally free.

“Tommy was only using Techno and never thought of him as a friend.”

Tommy and Techno’s relationship is complicated, which is why pretending only one side was in the wrong isn’t entirely accurate. Their friendship, in summary, is tragic when fully examined; being doomed from the start. Techno and Tommy are brought into conflict often because they are simultaneously so similar and so different. Techno and Tommy both deal with grief in the same way. They both long for a life of peace and comfort. They each long for companionship, hold their ideals in kind, and are both naturally resilient in the face of adversity. 

Yet, their personalities and courses of action are polar opposites. What makes this friendship one of tragedy is the fact that not just Techno, not just Tommy, but both of them, actually thought the other was their friend. They had each wanted to be the other’s friend since the day they’d met. Tommy never stopped wanting to impress Techno and get on his good side, even if his methods annoyed the target of his affections. Him calling Techno ‘The Blade’ was never meant to dehumanize him; it was a title of adoration. 

Along the same spectrum, Techno is a character who generally longs for friendship, but pretends not to after a lifetime of hurt. He’s been burned too many times, and so he chooses to stay alone. Techno is generally very reclusive and awkward around others, so when he likes someone or cares for them, it’s noticeable from a mile away. Their friendship has a very brotherly dynamic, and the fact that Techno allowed him to stay in his house, implies Tommy is a step above pretty much everyone else but Phil. Putting up with Tommy’s shenanigans is itself a sign of affection. 

However, when their goals come into conflict and the two start to drift apart, they deal with this in massively different ways. With Tommy devastated and enraged, and with Techno withdrawn and hurt, once more burned by someone he slowly learned to trust. They were once both friends, neither one was pretending. Yet, both of them thought their companionship was unreciprocated. 

On top of this, both Techno and Tommy were using each other. Techno used Tommy to get his weapons back by manipulating and lying to him. Tommy used Techno to protect him from Dream and get his discs back. They each hurt the other and refused to listen, both shouting valid complaints at the other that they refused to hear. 

Their relationship is also deeply affected by the themes of vengeance in the current arc, which is something I haven’t seen many people talk about. Most of the current conflicts this past month have resulted from characters being unable to forgive, resorting to revenge as a way to cope with loss. L’Manburg was the first to initiate this, through the influence of Quackity. The Butcher Army was formed to punish Techno for a war crime he committed. And while this is perfectly reasonable, what isn’t is the way the incident was orchestrated. It was an unchecked abuse of power to execute someone without a fair trial, as well as punishing Phil, who was not involved whatsoever. 

This was also particularly unfair to Techno, as many projected their anger at Wilbur onto him. Even Tommy did this, finding himself unable to blame his late mentor, so Techno was the next best option for him. However, it was Techno’s response to this that was interesting. He chose a path of vengeance, the same way L’Manburg did, after vowing to live his life as a pacifist. By doing this and following through, he hurt everyone, not just the people he claimed needed to pay for their actions. 

Instead of just picking the weed in the garden, he set the entire flower bed on fire. Through L’Manburg’s destruction, he gets what he wants. He destroys their government, but he also scars the earth and shatters the sky. He leaves uninvolved people homeless, deeply hurting Ranboo, Eret, and especially Ghostbur. Philza turns to vengeance as well, taking his anger at the death of his son out on people who do not deserve it. 

Tubbo, a day before the second Festival, was given another chance to seek revenge when Techno had spawned a wither on their land. Instead, all Tubbo could say was, ‘We do nothing … It’s pointless, vengeance. It’s poisonous.’ By doing this, he has managed to be a bigger person than even Techno was, with the strength and maturity to turn the other cheek. And now with Tommy’s plan to kill Dream, the conflict continues to escalate; only ending where forgiveness begins. 

It’s sad to think, if Techno didn’t choose a path of vengeance and Tommy was strong enough to tell Techno how he really felt, the two might have remained friends. Who knows? Maybe they still can.

“Tommy was the one in the wrong. Techno was right to destroy L’Manburg.”

Techno is a lovely character. He’s well-written, engaging, funny. He has many values and quirks that are generally relatable and interesting. His motives are deeply understandable and sympathetic. And yet, he is perfectly capable of being evil, in just the same way that Tommy can be deeply flawed despite being the protagonist. 

I’m sure most people already know that Technoblade is a villain. Or more accurately, a tragic antagonist. Techno (the streamer) knows he is and he’s having fun playing that part. Just because a character is morally in the wrong doesn’t mean their values and ideology don’t have merit. The best character I could compare Techno to is Thanos. 

They have completely valid concerns and points, but it is the way in which they go about achieving their goals that makes them into evil people. And despite this, many will still agree with them, even after they do something reprehensible. Contrary to popular belief, Technoblade’s tendency towards violence isn’t a good thing, no matter how you look at it. Even Techno himself knows this, that’s why he decided to reform and become a pacifist with Phil. He was not a good influence on Tommy, on top of also manipulating him. 

Techno caving to hatred and vengeance makes him no different to the resolve of the Butcher Army that pursued him. It is precisely the fact that he went on to destroy the home of not just Tommy, but also Ranboo and Ghostbur, that puts him in the wrong. He is allowed to despise all government and remove himself from it, but the moment he decided to insert himself into someone else’s country and take their home from them in order to destroy it, he abandoned an integral principle to his own values. 

This principle being: ‘Choice.’ The act of letting others be free to decide what they want for themselves. It is a huge component to the concept of anarchy, the freedom to choose. And yet Techno robbed this from, not just the ruling powers that hurt him, but individuals who were not even involved in the first place. He justifies this by saying it’s for their own good, that he’s helping; while acting in a self-serving manner. 

In his anger, he became the punisher, stooping lower than L’Manburg has ever gone. There is also the issue of Dream weaponizing Techno to destroy the one thing that has been a thorn in his side since the very start, manipulating Techno’s grief to achieve his goals. Tommy’s biggest sin in the Doomsday War was standing up to Techno and getting in the way of him hurting his friends and destroying his home. 

This isn’t to say Tommy is perfect, because he still hurt everyone he ever loved. But the only way he knew to redeem himself was to fight for what he knew was right. And so he chose to fight alongside his best friend, Tubbo. However, just because Techno is in the wrong doesn’t mean others are wrong for wanting to side with him, or by finding joy in his ruthlessness. The biggest appeal of Techno is the fact that he opposes people like Tommy. 

He knows how to put people in their place and it’s satisfying to watch. Some people love rooting for villains and it’s entertaining to see a being with so much power crush everyone else down so effortlessly. Especially because it’s so easy to sympathize with Technoblade. Sympathetic villains are the best kind; where they have understandable motivations, relatable flaws, people they love, and something they can lose. Dream is a villain you love to hate. Technoblade is a villain you hate to love. Simple as. 

Despite the destruction of L’Manburg being either devastating or fantastic depending on who you are, there is one major good it has done. It has pushed Tommy more towards the completion of his character arc. By losing one of the three things he loves, it will be impossible for him to pretend any longer. He will be forced to confront reality very soon. It all depends on whether Tubbo will have to die first for him to finally see it.

[espressokiri]

Heyy, I’m Muslim and I’m also a huge simp for Todoroki, Bakugo, Iida, and Kaminari. Soooo can I have them with a Muslim (possibly hijabi) s/o?

Todoroki Shoto, Bakugou Katsuki, Iida Tenya, and Kaminari Denki x Hijabi!reader

In which reader is a hijabi Muslim.

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff (literally half these ideas came from late night talks with my bestie @that-weirdo-in-the-corner)

Note: My first headcanon <3 I hope you like it!

Todoroki Shoto

We’re all aware of this mans lack of physical affection and aloof nature, along with his social awkwardness. That’s a recipe for odd encounters and hilarious misunderstandings.

This man gained interest in you when he noticed you were elegant even while in training/battles, along with your sweet nature and fashionable modest wear.

He researched about your religion and had found out that only women who are married are allowed to go out alone with their partners.

Poor boy didn’t read/research enough.

He decides to get to know you from a distance, respecting your boundaries and it wasn’t that hard to avoid physical contact as he himself was not one to initiate it.

When you did get closer and formed an emotional bond, you’ll be met with the weirdest encounter;

“Shoto, what are you doing?” You blinked, not understanding what the half-and-half male was doing bent on one knee with a ring box outside your family home.

“I read that we can only go out on dates together if you’re married.”

You want to smack your head on the wall but you were flattered at the same time.

Had to tell him that you were allowed on dates if you were chaperoned by a family member or friends.

Had Fuyumi chaperone you two, she was very delighted but had kept watch from a distance.

Shoto has the best time learning about your religion, curiously asking questions and gains a deeper understanding of how things were in your perspective.

He keeps a respectful distance even during dates, making sure he wasn’t crossing boundaries.

Would scour the whole of Japan to find halal food.

Tells you that he called Endeavour shaytaan and you choke on the water you were sipping on, laughing out loud.

Fasts with you one day and is betrayed at how full he felt after one bite.

Hands you Endeavour’s exclusive credit card for Eid.

Todoroki is just very genuine and he tries his best to keep you comfortable around him, also carries hijab pins in his backpack just in case you need some.

Bakugou Katsuki

Oh God.

Listen, he’s very respectful in his own way but it took him time to work through it with his competitive nature.

Man has done his research thoroughly and he is ready to commit.

“I can cook us a vegetarian meal that won’t be boring to the tastebuds like the crap they sell out there.”

That’s his way of asking you out, making sure his parents would be home too because he knows two people of different genders should not be left alone.

Makes the best damn vegetarian dish. Vegetarian because he has yet to figure out what halal is.

Tries to learn some words, does excellent but his way of speaking is even more aggressive than an Emirati accent. He has your Arab friends shaking in their shoes.

It’s Ramadan? Prepare for three am calls that consist of him yelling at you to get up. Yes, he breaks his sleep pattern to wake you up to eat. Yes, he makes you video call him so he makes sure you eat well and hydrate. Yes, he ends up fasting with you so you don’t feel alone. Will he tell you that? No.

Sometimes he makes Iftar for you and brings it in a bento, giving it to you after school so you can have a good meal.

Watches you with wide eyes and mouth open in shock when he sees you eating when you’re supposed to be fasting;

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO EAT YET!”

“I- I’m on my period?”

“SO?”

“We’re not allowed to fast while we’re on our period.”

He stays quiet the rest of the day.

Admires different styles of hijab you do.

Eid? He’s the best dressed alongside you. 

Bakugou would be a good partner, respectable, and tries his best to understand and make you feel comfortable in his own way.

Iida Tenya

This boy knows everything already.

Has done research the second he realized there was a Muslim classmate, and as a good fellow class president it was his duty to make sure everyone was comfortable.

Has extra scarves with a small tin full of pins for you kept under his desk in case of emergencies or if they get damaged in training (which wouldn’t happen as Hatsume had created one that would resist damage.) It was a nice thought.

He does slowly wants to get to know you more as your sweet nature made him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Keeps a respectful distance at all time.

“Asalam Alaikum, Y/n! It has come to my attention that Ramadan is nearing soon so I have made a list of dietary necessities you may need to intake in order to help your quirk during the holy month.”

“Iida, that’s so sweet of you! You didn’t have to! Also, how did you pronounce that so well?”

“As you class president and friend, I am honoured to do such! To answer your question, I had listened to someone say it on repeat before I practiced.”

This man has every word on repeat just to soak it in his brain.

Averts his eyes even if he sees your ankle, angry at himself for accidentally glancing.

Sir, I promise it’s not a sin to look at an ankle accidentally.

Sees your Hijab bunching up and start showing bits of your neck and shoulder? Grabs the end of the scarf and pulls it down to cover again, avoiding touching your skin.

Checks the ingredients list of the snacks you’re buying for gelatine or alcohol, making sure it’s halal/vegetarian/vegan friendly.

Upset you can’t find halal gummies? This man goes online and orders a bag of certified halal sweets for you to enjoy because you deserve simple joys like this.

Makes sure you pray on time, has the MuslimPro app on his phone to keep track.

He also scrolls through the app to learn more.

Iida is a perfect gentleman and he’s also making sure that you stay spiritually on track and don’t get distracted <3

Kaminari Denki

This man is a physically affectionate person. 

He will make the mistake of bounding over to you and slinging an arm around your shoulder or pull you into a hug.

But he will learn and try to control the affectionate urges, limiting himself to hand holding if you allow it.

He thinks you look wonderful with the different coloured hijabs.

Tries making you wear a yellow and black one to match his hair.

Forgets that you can’t eat everything and anything, especially casual things like gummies.

Will apologize profusely when he realizes after you tell him it has gelatine.

Tries to stave off of gelatine infused products.

“Not even water???”

“Denki, I swear to God I’m going to smack you.”

Yes he’s that guy.

Tries fasting with you, just sleeps through the whole day till it was time to eat.

When he see’s you dozing off in class because of staying up all night either because of suhoor or special night prayers during the last ten days, he’ll zap you to keep you paying attention.

He is honestly your hype man when it comes to modest fashion, especially during Eid. This boy will dramatically kneel on the floor and look at you like you’re the light of his life.

Get’s excited when you hand him Eid money because you love him and he has cute child-like tendencies.

Tries greeting your family members, comes out as gibberish.

“Asalamasjdaskjdhashjs”

“Not quite there yet, Denki. A-plus for effort.”

He’s a fun guy who tries to better himself around you, making sure he’s aware of his actions and makes an effort to not mess up around you because he’s never felt so in love with a person as he has with you.

[papermatisse]

Oasis || O.SH (IV)

♔ pairing: superhero!sehun x f!reader

♔ genre: fluff, angst, crack

♔ word count: 15.7k

♔ warnings: profanity, violence, death mentions

♔ synopsis: EXO: the nine member superhero gang protecting the city of Exodus. For years, they've done just that. A sudden turn of events leads them all stressed, confused, and paranoid beyond belief. A paranoia which could either lead them to answers or turn them against one another— turn them against their city.

♔ a/n: sorry this took so much longer than intended lol I just sorta stopped writing for the most part. also apologies for the hefty chapter 🙏 I do be writing some bs lol

series masterlist | main masterlist

"Then this lady threw an actual fit in the middle of the shop, yelling and pointing at me, shoving the bouquet in my face." (y/n) huffed in aggravation before turning to Sehun, wrinkling her face in disdain while waving her hand frantically. "Oh, I asked for tulips, and you're giving me these things that don't even look like what I wanted." She then returned to her normal expression, pressing her hands to her chest and continuing her story. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I can assure you these are tulips. They'll fully bloom later today." She returned to chopping the vegetables, still clearly frustrated from the encounter at work. "And she paid for the flowers and left, but she still yelled and complained for no reason at all. She was like, 'you're lucky I'm short on time, I'll take whatever these are.'" She laughed in annoyance, her dicing growing more manic by the second. "I would just love to see her reaction by now when she sees I was right this entire–"

She stopped as Sehun's hand wrapped around her wrist, drawing her away from the cutting board. He hummed in acknowledgement, slipping the knife from her hands and placing it on the counter.

"Sounds like a very rude woman. I'm sorry you had to go through that today." He gently pulled her into him, letting her sigh into his chest as he patted her back. It remained silent for a moment more before he pulled away.

Looking into each other had soon become a habit between the two. The gentle gazes they'd share, the kind smiles only reserved for one another, how genuine their friendship had grown to be in just a few weeks. A friendship as genuine as Sehun could muster.

It was becoming more and more difficult for Sehun to dismiss these growing feelings. He wanted to blame it on the fact that he hadn't been around people in a long while, hasn't had the opportunity to truly socialize with others outside of EXO. Yet even so, even if he befriended the entirety of Exodus, something in him told him that (y/n) would still be that outlier. The single inconsistency in his life.

Just as (y/n) stood before him now, coaxing an affection Sehun hadn't known he attained within him, she would continue to affect him as such in this rhetorical alternate scenario of his.

Softly clearing his throat, he tore his eyes from hers, ushering her over to the barstools by the counters. He returned to the stove, grabbing her butchered vegetables and sliding them into the broth.

"I'm sure she's feeling rather embarrassed for creating such a scene." He added, stirring the mixture before him as her laughter filled the air, soothing the tension within him as the melodic sound reached his ears.

"I hope so. There were a few other people in the shop at the time. I hope they remember her and don't let her live down this moment." There was a pause as they returned to their own devices, Sehun focusing on finishing his soup until (y/n) spoke again. "Is that mean of me? To wish she realizes and remembers her stupidity from today?" He glanced over his shoulder, seeing her eyebrows scrunched together as she deliberated on her actions. A smile grew on his face as he turned away again.

"Not necessarily. By her remembering what she did, it could help her learn from her mistake. Prevent it from happening again to another worker in another establishment." He lowered the heat of the stove, drawing it to a simmer before turning and facing (y/n). "It's good to wish people learn from their experiences. It's not healthy for everyone to assume they're right always, and their opinions are the only ones that matter."

She rolled her eyes, scoffing at Sehun's words before breaking into laughter again.

"I hate people like that." Sehun walked over, leaning his elbow on the counter with his head in his hand as he took in (y/n). "My mom was like that, my entire childhood, I…" She paused, the smile on her face somewhat fading for a moment as she remembered something. Seconds later, her smile all but disappeared, replaced by a monotonous glaze as memories began resurfacing. Her shift in mood concerned Sehun, causing him to break into immediate action, circling the counter and sitting beside her. His hand rested on her lower back, thumb softly stroking (y/n) as he waited for her return to the present.

This was another thing which had become normal between the two. Sehun knew near everything about (y/n) at this point, from her favorite movies to her pet peeves. They had grown so close to one another that he could even tell what food she'd be in the mood for, already preparing it before she could decide for herself what she wanted to eat. He took pride in this, in the fact that he was the one person in the world who knew (y/n) inside and out– excluding her past.

He had experienced countless trauma victims in his time as Aero. From rescuing civilians in the face of danger to visiting them later on in the hospitals. He strived to ensure everyone's safety was secured, and though he may prevent physical harm from befalling them, the mental stress of living in constant danger was something which sadly afflicted many citizens. Something which Sehun couldn't prevent no matter how hard he tried. He's seen trauma victims of all sorts, with varying degrees of symptoms as well as different experiences, and from what he's seen of (y/n), she couldn't have had a necessarily merry childhood.

He never pressed her for more, never encouraged her to talk to him about it. He just stayed beside her, patiently comforting her, waiting for whenever she felt ready to talk to him about it. To entrust him with the weight she seemed to forever burden herself with.

"My mom… Didn't like me doing something." She explained, head down turned as she picked at her nails. "And I always tried explaining from my perspective, but she never listened." She looked to Sehun, eyes glassy with impending tears. "It was like she knew only one solution to the problem and it was her solution."

Sehun nodded, hand rising to her head, combing through her locks and gently unraveling the few tangles within them. Every brush of his fingers against her scalp seemed to chip away at her resolve, and soon she found herself shutting her eyes, a stray tear slipping past her defenses and sliding down her face.

He stopped his movements, lowering his hand once more to her back while bringing the other to her knees. Lifting her up, he cradled (y/n) against him, making his way to her living room before falling onto the couch. All the while, she silently wept into his shirt, clutching onto the fabric as if hoping, praying he wouldn't abandon her. As if she'd release him only to have him dissipate in the air.

And he let her cry. He embraced her, felt the moisture seeping through the material of his top. His head rested upon her own, eyes sliding shut as he pressed her against himself. As if a silent reminder to her that he was and always would be there for her.

As they spent more time together, Sehun came to realize how opposite they truly were. Whereas Sehun strived for normalcy, to settle down and live a boring, yet ever mundane lifestyle, continuing his career as a journalist and seeking stability in every aspect of his life, (y/n) stood as the antithesis to his every aspiration.

She was anything but normal, near impossible to blend in with that of society. She never stayed for long, merely following wherever her heart desires her to go. Her heart, which was as liberating as a kite, following wherever the wind seemed to take it. For now, she resided here, a florist in a quaint apartment complex where the only other resident her age was her polar opposite.

Sehun was a mountain. A sturdy, unmoving feat of nature. He remained where he sat, and would forever remain that way.

(y/n) was the ocean. Reckless, carefree, unrestricted in every sense of the word. She was a force to be reckoned with, if anyone were to stand in her way. A terrifying, almost intimidating existence to Sehun, yet was unbearably beautiful. A sight which near took his breath away. How free she was, how open she was. Ever vast, never still.

Sehun craved that sort of beauty, how she near glistened as she lived this life that seemed to be trial after trial for him. Though he feared that darkness within her depths, a discovery he may never come to learn, he found himself diving headfirst into her, ready to be embraced by her everything, accepting whatever she had in store for him.

And he remained there, the sturdy rock to her turbulent seas, grounding her when she needed that moment of peace. Allowing her sorrow-soaked tears to imbibe into the stitches of his shirt. Feeling those tumultuous waves beat against his stone surface, and he took every impact, gathering as much of her burden as she was willing to give.

"Sehun…" She whispered, her voice cracking between the tears which continued to fall. He hummed, hand moving up and down her back to shush her cries. "Will you… hold me?"

"I am holding you," he spoke, an undeniable mirth in his tone as he drew her ever closer. "And I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay." She replied, a laugh breaking out between her sob as she burrowed closer into his neck. "Please don't leave me."

He hummed, finding it somewhat ironic that she shared the same fear as him. That this world they created for themselves, though seemingly so durable, resistant to anything which may try to destroy it, could easily be abolished by the mere absence of the other. That one day, (y/n) and her unending ocean could just disappear, leaving him behind as nothing more than a rock.

He had found something outside of that dream of domesticity he set up for himself. Something he now couldn't live without.

"Like I said. I'm not going anywhere." She settled against him, a light sigh hitting the skin of his neck as her muscles slowly but surely loosened their tension.

It was calm. The sun finally sunk beyond the horizon, a faint orange glow still permeating through the inky blackness of the night sky past her window. The air conditioning left a low hum in the atmosphere, white noise at this point, though still apparent enough to be heard. Their breathing was low, a slow and steady sound as they grew more and more comfortable in the moment. And with her weight resting on him, her fingers curled against his chest in a gentle touch, Sehun felt himself sinking further and further into sleep, a slight smile spreading across his face at the sheer tranquility of it all.

That is until he remembered his soup still on the stove.

He gasped, sitting upright and causing her to flinch from the sudden jostle beneath her. (y/n) looked to him, eyes widened in shock, and also barren of tears, which seemed to calm Sehun down some, knowing she wasn't too distraught anymore. Though he still remained antsy, glancing backwards towards the kitchen.

"My soup…" He mumbled, a pout forming as he hoped it hadn't gotten overcooked during this duration of time.

It was silent for a moment, until seconds later when (y/n) snorted, erupting into a cackle as she rolled off Sehun, grasping at one of the throw pillows on her couch for support. Sehun bit his lip, smile already forming as she continued to laugh away beside him. His heart warmed, never liking to see her in such a sad state as before. He'd trade anything in the world to keep her smiling.

"Go and check your cuisine, Chef, I'll set up the table." She instructed, once she had finally calmed down enough to speak.

Though (y/n) seemed completely recovered, back to smiling and chatting away as per usual, Sehun couldn't help but worry for her. She was holding in so much. He knew he wasn't a therapist. He knew they didn't know each other for very long. He knew all of this, yet he still yearned for her to trust him. Trust him wholeheartedly, tell him her anxieties, share her worries, so maybe she could recover from them instead of carrying all of this with herself through the years.

She's told him before she doesn't have friends. That she's moved so often that she doesn't make connections with people, nor feel the need to make connections with people. Which pleased Sehun somewhat, knowing she broke this routine of hers to befriend him. Yet his eyes remained on her throughout dinner, glancing back at his food every so often, but mainly staying upon her, worried that she was still distraught about everything from before, and was merely hiding it as she seemingly always does.

It was scary how well she wore this mask of hers. This facade she donned whenever in his presence. Or anyone's presence in general. He didn't like to consider himself as just anyone though. Which was why it pained him, seeing her parade around as she did. Her smile was as breathtaking as it always was, yet it now seemed desolate. Empty, almost. A shell of jubilance, though nothing really there.

"This is really good." She noted, taking another spoonful of soup in her mouth. He grinned, stirring the contents of his bowl absentmindedly as he nodded at her words.

"Thank you. I learned it from Kyungsoo." He scooped some broth up, lifting the spoon and allowing the liquids to pour back into the bowl below. "It's fairly easy. We'd have it every other week or so." Sehun paused, reminiscing on his college days with a soft chuckle. "It does feel kind of weird, though. We'd usually always go to this ice cream parlor in the park after eating. It was tradition."

(y/n) hummed endearingly, warm smile on her face at Sehun's memories. Though she never outright said it, he knew she enjoyed hearing about his friends. She would always give her undivided attention when he spoke, yet it felt significantly more earnest when he'd mention one of the guys. The way her eyes would zero in on him, sparkling with mirth as he laughed at his past, and she'd laugh along with him.

He didn't realize how heartwarming such a simple detail of a person could be until he'd mention one of his friends and she'd understand him. He'd mention Baekhyun, thinking she must've forgotten at this point, yet she nods knowingly, pushing him to continue with a simple recap of, "the one who got a black eye from wielding nunchucks for the first time." As if every word he ever spoke to her was permanently ingrained in her mind, filed away on a section of her brain purely dedicated to him and his life, no matter how nonsensical the matter was.

And just as devoted as she was to listening to him, to absorbing his stories, acquainting herself with the people in his life as if she were truly meeting them, she was just as determined to involve herself in his life, comfortably nestling into every corner of his heart he was willing to offer her.

"Then why don't we go to this ice cream place?" She questioned, a mischievous grin tugging at the corners of her lips as if they were about to go on some epic heist.

"It's probably closed at this hour." He noted, glancing back at the moon risen behind her, peering at the two of them through her window. At this, she frowned, near pouting as she returned to her meal. And Sehun just couldn't allow such a devastating expression to cross her face again. "But we can try again tomorrow."

She perked up, practically lit up with glee at his proposition. And just as he had hoped, that smile of hers returned tenfold, rounding the apples of her cheeks in a joyful manner.

"Then, it's a date." She added.

Sehun paused, freezing in his spot at her words.

Did she really mean it? Did she really mean to use date? Did she mean just a simple outing? Or was she truly, genuinely showing interest in him? The same interest he held for her.

She had gone back to her soup, biting at her lip as if trying to contain her excitement. As if trying to hide this effect he supposedly has upon her.

His heart felt full at this. At the fact that the prospect of a date with him had sparked such a feeling in her. That she could be holding the same affections for him as he was for her. That he wasn't just going insane for liking someone so quickly, because she liked him just the same.

"It's a date." He repeated, mainly as affirmation for himself. Just to hear the words once more. To feel what it was like to say them, how each syllable just seemed to roll forth so easily. Just like everything else she brought to his life. She made his world seem so much easier than it truly was. As if he didn't need to worry so much, because at the end of the day, everything will be okay.

A soft squeal managed to slip past her lips, causing her hand to shoot up to her mouth and clamp itself over it. As she made eye contact with him, surprised at herself, he couldn't help but burst into laughter, covering his own mouth alongside her. And just like that, dinner was forgotten as they giggled like maniacs, hopeless in every way, though having not a single shred of doubt within them.

(y/n) hummed in delight, the sweet delicacy melting in her mouth as she took her first spoonful of ice cream. She looked to Sehun excitedly, eyes glistening with elation, silently giving him the answer to his question.

She really liked it.

"I'm glad." He responded before delving into his own treat.

The sun shone above, undeterred by the wisps of clouds stretched across the blue landscape. The park was near empty, with only the occasional other person passing by. The trees which hung over them offered a generous amount of shade as they made their way through the secluded path, with only some streams of light penetrating the dense brush above. Fallen leaves scattered the stoned walkway, rustling with the soft breeze that brushed against them.

It was the epitome of a perfect day, and Sehun couldn't have been more grateful for these odds. To have the perfect conditions for his first date with (y/n).

He says first, as he hoped there will be others. He hopes they can experience every weather together.

He hopes they get rained on after visiting a hole in the wall restaurant, forced to run down the streets hand in hand, laughing as they get showered upon by nature. He hopes for hot days, sweltering heat beating down upon them as they soak together in the pool, lazing in the cool waters until their skin wrinkles. He hopes they get snowed in, trapping them within the comfort of their apartments, bundled in sweaters and blankets, nestled against one another as they watch movies and drink cups of hot cocoa together.

He hopes he could forever bear witness to (y/n)'s happiness. The radiance of her smile as she strolled beside him, sharing in his traditions as if they were her own, no matter how silly it was to go out of their way to get this specific ice cream. Yet here they were, side by side eating that exact ice cream together. It meant everything to him. She meant everything to him.

Sehun had finished his ice cream, and moments later, so did (y/n). A wave of dread blanketed him as he could see the end of their date nearing quickly. There was no other purpose for them to be here, to be with one another outside of their apartments. She'd most likely expect them to leave right afterwards. But something in Sehun refused to give in so easily. Refused to let her slip through his fingers when he's so close to attaining the impossible.

The minute she tossed away her container, he grasped her hand in his, tugging her off the stone walkway and onto a dirt path veering off into a wooded area.

"Sehun, where are you taking me?" She asked, laughing as she looked around the area. Though not as well maintained as the main walkway, the dirt beneath them still held a purpose to it, leading them through its beaten path until winding into a clear opening.

It was another section of the park, though significantly less populated. Practically empty, were it not for the gentleman and his dog strolling by on the opposite end of the stream, slowly but surely moving away from the scene as they continued on their route. Behind them lay the thick wall of tree they just ambled through, and across from it was a narrow trickle of water, softly murmuring as it coursed through the rocks beneath it. A small section of grass separated the two feats, which was where Sehun and (y/n) now stood. As observed before, across from the stream was the larger portion of the park, and from a distance, they could see the general public gathered around the park's central lake.

Though where they resided now, seated on the ground beside the waters, it was silent. Tranquil. Devoid of all life, aside from them.

"This is another tradition of Kyungsoo and I." He explained. "We found this place accidentally and thought it was pretty neat." Sehun glanced around, appreciating that their little haven was still left undisturbed.

"Why isn't it more popular?"

"We have no idea." He laughed. "It probably has something to do with the fact that people usually come here for a reason. To jog, get food, do activities by the lake." He glanced over to (y/n), watching him intently as he spoke. "There's really nothing else to do here aside from relaxing." She smiled, nodding at his words before looking back to the stream before them. It really was a serene moment. The waters were swift, following their destined currents unperturbed by any obstacles, yet were smooth and gentle. They traipsed down the rocks and pillars, tumbled down the natural slopes of the earth as it babbled along its bed.

"I'm fine with relaxing." She commented. Sehun grinned for a moment, touched by her words before she continued on. "As long as it's with you." At this, he felt a blush settling on his face, the warmth of it reaching the peaks of his ears as he digested her words. "I find it easy to settle when I'm with you." (y/n) picked at the blades of grass below her, pulling them from the earth before releasing them, letting the wind carry it into the brook, washing away the evidence of her absentminded destruction. "I don't feel that constant urge to pack up and run away. This is honestly probably the longest I've gone without relocating. I'd like to think that maybe it's because I finally have a person who'll remember me if I'm gone." She paused, letting her words hang in the atmosphere before glancing back to Sehun. "You'll remember me, won't you?"

He blinked at her question, allowing every memory of his to flash before him like a movie. From the very first moment he saw her, to the first time they hung out together. The first time she came to his apartment, critiquing his decorating and promising to liven up the place. When she nearly burnt his entire apartment down from baking brownies. When she came back from her trip, embracing Sehun as if she thought she'd never see him again. When she wept in his arms, entrusting him with her trauma and revealing her vulnerabilities to him. And now here, as she sat before him, brows curved in worry, awaiting his answer, as if she now doubted her words once she had spoken them.

"Without a doubt." He responded, a soft grin on his face as he turned his head to the side to get a better look at her. "Until my very last breath, you'll be in my thoughts always."

Just as you are in my heart.

And so they sat there, basking in both the calm of the stream, the warmth of the sun, and in one another's presence. He didn't know when it had happened, but somehow her hand had slipped into his own, nails grazing along his palm. Eventually, he intertwined their fingers together, keeping a loose grip on her as his thumb stroked the back of her hand.

Their hands remained together up until they returned to their apartments, regrettably releasing one another as she walked through her doors, thanking him for her day and promising to do it again. And that was enough for Sehun.

As she closed the door behind her, leaving Sehun standing in the halls alone with his rampant thoughts, he was left with a big, dopey grin. She enjoyed herself, she enjoyed spending time with him just as much as he enjoyed spending time with her. She wanted more of him. She wanted to do this again.

As he made his way into his own apartment, her words revolved around his head.

I find it easy to settle with you.

She wasn't leaving.

She wasn't leaving just yet.

She wasn't leaving just yet because of him.

He held her down like an anchor. Not a burdensome weight, restricting her from pursuing what she so desires, but a comforting weight, one which kept her tethered, prevented her from straying too far, from becoming lost in the infinite vastness of her ocean.

Without him, she'd drift off into who knows where, and without her, he'd sink into the unknown, never to be seen again.

They needed one another, that much was true. Evident in the way Sehun had instantly unveiled his phone, clicking onto his messages and already texting (y/n) again. And with the same earnest manner as he, she responded. As if the two couldn't handle even a moment away from each other, talking the entire night until exhaustion crept upon them, finally succumbing to their fate of slumber.

"Sehun, your phone is going off." (y/n) called from the living room. Sehun stood in the kitchen, waiting for their hot chocolates to warm before returning to her and their movie.

"Who's it from?" He asked.

"Junmyeon." At this, he actively groaned, causing her to laugh, the sound reaching him in the kitchen and calming his nerves.

"It's fine, you can ignore him."

The microwave eventually beeped, and Sehun navigated his way back to (y/n), curled under her blanket and reaching for the beverage he handed her. Outside, a heavy rain pelted against her window, clouds so dense it hid the entirety of the moon, encasing the world in an eternal darkness. Though inside, the two cuddled close to one another, buried under her blanket as they watched yet another random movie they managed to find. And once more, as per usual, it did not capture their attention, leaving them to entertain themselves through conversation.

"What's wrong with Junmyeon?" (y/n) asked, gently blowing at the hot liquid in her hands.

"What isn't wrong with him?" Sehun responded. "I know I've told you a lot about Junmyeon, but I haven't told you about him recently. Mostly because it just makes me sad to think about."

"You don't have to tell me if it hurts you, I understand." (y/n) reminded, though Sehun shook his head.

"It's just… He's been rather… Paranoid, as of recently." (y/n) leant her head on his shoulder, the weight calming Sehun and prompting him to rest his own against hers. "And that paranoia has really… affected him, and consequently, has affected the rest of us." She hummed at his words, taking a sip of her drink as she pondered.

"Well, he must have a reason for his behavior. Whether it be true fear which is affecting him, or nonsensical paranoia. Though to clarify, it may seem nonsensical to us, it could be near debilitating for him." She started. Sehun listened intently, eyes lazily trained on the TV, though only processing (y/n) and her stance. "Either way, you should look through everyone's eyes."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"You see Junmyeon as being unnecessarily paranoid. He most likely sees himself as being precautionary, on defense mode towards whatever is bothering him." She sat up, turning in order to face him. "You should try to understand one another's perspective to a degree. You and the rest of your friends. Talk and come to a consensus of what should be done." He nodded, thinking back to how Yixing had told him how he felt regarding the whole situation. How both he and Minseok feared for Junmyeon. He hadn't heard much from Junmyeon, nor has he heard anything from Chanyeol yet. The two were at odds, though if talking could truly bring them back together, then why even hesitate to do so.

"What if talking doesn't work?"

"Then wait it out. Distance yourself for the time being. If you can't help the others, and you realize you can't, then just protect yourself and wait until Junmyeon has settled down." She reached a hand up, combing through his hair softly, a tender action which prompted him to lean into her touch. "Though try not to abandon him. Try not to abandon any of them. The last thing you guys need is an argument that'll cause a rift between you all."

Chanyeol.

He really needed to speak to Chanyeol. He couldn't leave Chanyeol as he was. He couldn't let Chanyeol barricade himself away with no one to accompany him during this lonesome time of his.

"Thank you," Sehun responded, twisting his head to press his lips against her palm.

Though their relationship was not necessarily defined, neither of the two really presenting a label to what they were, they were comfortable. They thrived in one another's presence, and seemingly blossomed. As if any and all restraints of friendship had been lifted, they flourished, basking in the slowly budding love sprouting before them.

The simplest of interactions soon meant everything in their world.

The way they'd be seated together, a narrow space settled between the two that seemed near cavernous, yet that looming dread of distance was quelled with the simple action of (y/n) linking her pinkie with his, cheeks warming under his fond gaze. Something as simple as this, or something more. Like the way she'd grasp his hand in hers, refusing to let him go lest he evaporate into thin air.

Hugging had become a near ritual between them. A game of who would let the other go first, who could hug tighter without strangling the other, who was the objective better hugger. All this competitiveness leading to what felt like hours of hugging and giggling, only calling a truce whenever the other would have to use the restroom. Though not every hug was inherently manic like this. Sehun found himself to be rather fond of (y/n)'s gentle back hugs, given to him as he cooked in the kitchen, fingers softly clenching the fabric of his shirt, grazing along his abdomen before tightening ever so slightly. As if a koala clinging to him everywhere he went.

Naturally, their hugging seemed to evolve into cuddling, bundled under heaps of blankets, nuzzling into each other until you couldn't discern which body part was whose. Warmth shrouded them, radiating in waves off their bodies, though they didn't mind the heat. They embraced it, wearing the other's warmth like a cherished coat.

Everything with (y/n) felt natural. Nothing ever felt foreign or strange. Nothing felt rushed. Nothing felt out of place. Like everything with her happened for a reason. Every moment unconscious though with purpose behind it. As if everything amounts to a finality the two will inevitably meet together.

And so he continued to litter kisses over her. From the tips of her fingers, to the peak of each of her knuckles, to the crook of her elbow, to the slope of her shoulder. When his lips had met the junction of her neck, she giggled, shrinking away from his ministrations, though not getting far, as he had her all but wrapped in his embrace– or as much of his embrace as he could offer.

Pausing from his affections, he briefly retracted his arm, grasping the cups of hot chocolate and placing the beverages on the coffee table, quickly returning to her.

With nothing obstructing the two, he had nestled closer, arms lazily draped around her, thumb softly stroking her hip as he gazed down longingly. Similarly, (y/n) reciprocated his stare, hands folded neatly between them, weary of where to put them. Yet as Sehun leant forward, pressing his lips to the corner of her own, she seemed to finally grasp the situation, hands sliding around the back of his neck and bringing him back to her.

As naturally as everything else occurred in their budding relationship, so did their first kiss. A fluttering sensation had erupted within the cavity of Sehun's chest upon first touching her lips, a light airiness which had him near drunk on his elation. He felt he could fade away from existence at that moment and not regret a thing, yet she anchored him to her, the warm pads of her fingers like fire radiating through his body. This searing warmth which translated through both her touch and her kiss.

The taste of her hot chocolate hit his tongue, a saccharine sensation which had his head spinning. Perhaps it was from how intoxicating her every single touch unto him was, or perhaps it was from the depleting oxygen draining from his lungs, though he couldn't care less. If he died, he'd die a happy man, melting in her embrace as she stole away his final breath.

His arms wound tighter around (y/n), dragging her closer and slotting their bodies together. Time seemed to slip by them, the sands passing through their fingers so easily, yet they remained where they were, keeping one another grounded through the adversity of their overwhelming affections. Though eventually, no matter how dearly he held her to him, no matter how much he pleaded with her, pressing his lips onto hers with this desperation he'd never known he acquired, she had to pull away.

Separating from him with a sharp inhale, she sat there for a brief moment, observing Sehun before her. His eyes were still shut, breaths slow and steady, as if they hadn't just kissed for who knows how long. Dazed, he slowly leaned back towards (y/n), gravitating back to her lips, though before he could reach them, she pressed a hand on his chest, giggles snapping him free of his delirium. Fluttering his eyes open, he watched as (y/n) softly laughed, hand still resting on his chest.

Her fingers gently stroked the material of his shirt, her eyes trained on her actions as to not meet Sehun's gaze. She was flustered, the weight of the plight at hand now settling. It was rather evident how nervous she was, silently biting down on her lip, trying to pick apart the situation and figure out what was to happen next.

He reached a hand up to her jaw, pressing his thumb beneath her mouth and freeing her lip from the entrapment of her teeth. At this, (y/n) finally met his gaze, eyes glassy as they darted to every feature of Sehun's face. Yet his eyes remained solely on hers, watching the flurry of emotions swirl within their depths. How genuine she was in everything she did, and now that devotion to living her life translated towards him. As if he were now as big a part of her life as anything else in her world. And the thought alone brought a smile to Sehun, leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to her lips once again. And then again. And again. Until she was squirming beneath him, laughs filling the air whilst he tickled her with his barrage of kisses, covering every inch of her face with his unabashed love.

"Sehun, stop!" She let out between her giggles, weakly shoving against him, though he continued nevertheless. Soon enough, his smile prevented him from continuing, merely pressing his face against hers for a final time with a laugh bubbling out of him. The pleasant sound reached her ears, causing her to instead wrap her arms around Sehun, dragging him close to her into a hug.

A silence settled between the two, Sehun softly rubbing his hands on her back, resting his cheek on her head. Comfort. That same peace she integrated into every aspect of her life now all but seeping into his bones, his embrace growing weak as he slowly succumbed to the tranquility of the moment, sinking deeper and deeper into this state. As if blocking out every single thing outside the constraints of these walls. As if he, Aero, master of winds, savior to hundreds, hadn't a thing to worry about, because as long as he was with (y/n), he'd be safe. He'd be okay.

"Sehun?" Her voice was low, this gentle lull which reached his ears and sang to his heart, which seemed to beat erratically in the calm of the moment, manic from the woman pressed against it. Sehun hummed, too weak to respond with anything other than the subtle noise. She remained quiet. Her hand slid from behind him, resting at the center of his chest, fingers weakly curling into his shirt. "Do you… like me?"

"I adore you." He responded in a heartbeat. He chuckled to himself, as if having been asked the most ridiculous of questions. The most obvious fact to be present in the world. As if she asked him if the sky were blue, if the ocean were wet, if people breathed air. Yet he patiently answered her, reassuring her of his feelings which seemed to all but bloom as the seconds passed. This comforting delight coiling around his being, the love he held for her rooting itself deep within him, grounded in permanence.

She buried her face into his neck, hoping to conceal the rather flustered expression now etched onto her. In hopes of hiding the obvious effect he had on her, as if he wasn't completely and entirely in tune with her everything. But he let her do as she so desired, pretending that he couldn't feel that devout fondness in her every little touch.

"Stay with me…" She silently pled, voice muffled in his shirt though still loud enough for him to just barely hear the anticipation laced in her tone. The subtle trepidation as she whispered out her thoughts, hoping so dearly he wouldn't reject her, even if he had made it evident that he would never deny her of anything.

"Always." He answered, smiling as he pressed a kiss to her temple. A reassurance that he truly was there, and that he wasn't going anywhere.

Sehun awoke the next morning, a haze of grogginess blanketing him as he pried his eyes open, only to shut them immediately upon confronting the sun's radiance filling the room. Grumbling, he shifted in the sheets, arms tightening around (y/n) and tugging her closer against him.

He buried his face in her hair, inhaling the floral aroma fondly. It surrounded him, emanating from not only her, but also her pillows, her blankets, the surrounding air. An intoxicating scent, dizzying almost as it reminded him of where he was. Of how he had wound up falling asleep beside his beloved (y/n).

How she held onto him desperately, whining for him to not leave the apartment. To instead stay over, insisting they should have a "slumber party." And when he finally agreed, she continued with her urgent pursuit, continuing to push him until he finally agreed to share the bed with her. Though it had been a rather complicated ordeal, the two being too excited beside one another to properly sleep before exhaustion finally struck them both hours later, he wouldn't have had it any other way.

Her expression was peaceful, muscles lax as she slept away. Her face was pressed into the pillow beneath her, mouth slightly ajar as heavy breaths expelled from her. Sehun stroked her head, taming the tufts of hair which seemed to aim in every which way, smiling as she mumbled incoherently in her sleep.

Much like the first time he had slept over, there was this indisputable serenity lingering in the atmosphere, as if time itself had stopped for them. A bird sang lowly outside, chirping at the new day at its disposal. Though now this time, instead of lying beside her on the couch, he had (y/n) in his arms, soundly sleeping against him.

The calm of the moment suddenly shattered as (y/n)'s eyes shot open, her body jolting upright in a near panicked frenzy, only calming as Sehun sat up with her, drawing her close once more.

"(y/n)?" He spoke, voice soft as it reached her ears. He pressed gentle kisses to the side of her temple, feeling the tension making up her form dissolve once more. "It's okay, I'm here."

"I… Had a nightmare." She quickly explained, eyes trained on her lap as she shifted her body towards him. He waited for her to look up at him, seeing the sheer panic in her gaze once she finally did. This unadulterated fear riddled in her pupils, as if her nightmare was still very alive in the moment.

"You're okay now. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

The rest of their morning was spent holding one another, Sehun coaxing out her usual cheery persona as the sun continued to rise. It had seemed she had pushed aside that nightmare from before, joking around with him as they did so often. That smile he had grown so accustomed to shining as brilliantly as ever.

Eventually, they unraveled themselves from the bed, about to go on with their day until (y/n) stopped Sehun at her door.

"I have to leave." She spoke quietly, softly grasping the bottom of his shirt. "My dad is sick, so I offered to take care of him this weekend."

"Okay," He answered, reaching a hand up to rest on the back of her neck. "I'll be here when you get back."

Her eyes darted back and forth between his own, a worry in them as if she were still afraid. Like that nightmare still plagued her mind. But she nodded nevertheless, tearing her gaze away and looking down at the floor.

"I'll be heading out today. Probably in a few minutes."

"I'll help you pack."

"I actually have everything already." She laughed nervously, leaving his side to go to the closet by her front door, pulling it open and revealing a filled duffle bag. Sehun blinked in wonderment, but nodded at the sight anyways.

"I'll help you take it down, then." Grasping the straps, he tossed the bag over his shoulder, following her down to the first floor. All the while, his thoughts continued to gnaw away at his head.

Why does she have a bag packed away? Like she's ready to just get up and leave at a moment's notice? It's the same bag as before, when she went to babysit for her sister. Maybe she really does just have to leave town often. Having a ready bag isn't too much of a strange occurrence. He has his own ready bag, though that's because of his double life as Aero. (y/n) is just rather active. Like he always says, she's a nomad. There's nothing wrong with that.

Like deja vu, he leant down at her window after tossing her bag in the trunk, smiling as she smiled back at him.

"Stay safe." She pouted, eyebrows knitted together in worry. Sehun pressed his lips against hers, a quick goodbye kiss on his part.

"I should be the one telling you to stay safe." His thumb pinched gently at her chin. "Don't get sick, okay?"

"I won't." She laughed. Though her joy subsided rather quickly, back to that solemn expression she's had all morning. "I'll text you. Every second I'm gone. And you better respond every time."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

And with that, she departed, leaving Sehun in the parking lot, thoughts incessant as he began connecting things. Things which just don't make sense. He shook his head, silently cursing Junmyeon for instilling his maddening paranoia into Sehun. Nothing was wrong. He didn't need to worry.

Sehun collapsed on his knees, breath heaving as the wind got knocked out of him. He was exhausted, body sore from the countless hits he's taken so far. His vision, though already limited due to his mask, felt even more obstructed as the darkness of unconsciousness seeped into his peripheral. But he continued to fight back, wearily standing on his feet before immediately getting collided into again, falling on his back with a loud huff.

"Status report." Junmyeon demanded through Sehun's ear.

"I'm not cut out for this." Sehun sighed, letting his head rest on the grass beneath him.

The sky was dark, the occasional star lighting the expanse of night through the dense haze of light pollution emanating from the city. Though what truly did seem to penetrate that fog was the moon, smiling down at him once more. At his misery.

The alarm blare which shocked him from his sleep was unexpected at the least, as it usually is, though more so this time around because of how late it had rung, Sehun being forced to run out of his apartment building at 3 in the morning.

Instead of there being just one location, they were given three: one at city hall, one in the park, and one at a shopping plaza. Junmyeon had rapidly spat out orders as the group scrambled about, none of them knowing who they were going up against, merely following Junmyeon's words as he assigned each of them a location.

And regrettably, Sehun got the park, where the notorious, and at this moment rather vexing, Shinobi resided.

Shinobi. The ability to phase through solid objects. Though on a more basic scale, he was able to completely rearrange his molecules, allowing them to weave through the particles of solid matter. As such, he was near impossible to hit, as he'd merely shift through the attempt and fight back.

What Sehun found himself struggling with, however, was the speed which came with his training.

As indicated by his name, Shinobi was one of many in a creed of ninjas. Agile, swift, resourceful. Yet he seemed to forego the stealth aspect, choosing to fight them in the open at any chance. And much like Yixing, the man was experienced when it came down to fighting, much more than Sehun at least.

Grumbling, the hero sat up, pushing his body up with his shaking arms. He saw the blur of darkness racing towards him once more, rapid steps lightly padding against the grass as he hurdled towards Sehun. Though in a moment's notice, Sehun managed to shoot a blast of wind from his hands, sending Shinobi flying across the field, allowing Sehun some time to recuperate.

"Aero, keep him busy until we've dealt with these guys."

The other guys in question were two more villains of theirs.

Spartan. Super strength, increased endurance, enhanced durability. He was a Goliath among men, towering over the lot with a condescending snarl. His body was lined with a dense layer of muscle, one hit of his being enough to completely eradicate any living, breathing human. His only intent in life, the only reason he seemed to do what he did, was for honor.

To defeat EXO. To be the strongest warrior in the land.

They didn't know his origin.

Ginnung. Portal manipulation. They were a person dressed in a tattered tunic with an equally dilapidated cloak around them. Though hidden now with layers of bandages wrapped all along their arms, an intricate system of woven tattoos decorated their body. Dark blue portraits of Celtic lore, Borre style depictions of Viking beasts, Norse runes etched into their skin. Though unlike the Vikings they supposedly correlate to, Ginnung rarely if ever fought. They merely used their portal manipulation to their advantage, depending on keeping distance between them and EXO.

"Alright." Sehun huffed as he stood up again, shaking off the damage dealt by Shinobi and preparing himself for another, inevitable attack. Though when he looked to where he had sent the ninja flying, he was gone. Retreating back into the shadows to hide from Sehun's sights.

Frustratedly looking about, Sehun groaned to himself, annoyance bubbling in him as he realized Shinobi really did just disappear. Though he knew he still lurked close by, waiting for his opportunity to once more strike at the hero.

Sehun's fingers twitched by his side, manipulating the low currents of wind traversing through the park. There were many interruptions, primarily from the winds hitting trees, circling the trunks to continue on their path. Though there was one obstruction, one which seemingly moved about in the dark, interrupting multiple breezes in their path.

Shinobi.

Whirling around, Sehun blasted more wind in that direction, repelling Shinobi from attacking him.

"What the fuck!" A black silhouette shouted, spiraling back in the air before colliding into the ground, tumbling through the grasses before coming to a stop. Though that voice, shouting at Sehun as it got hit, was one Sehun knew far too well.

"Chanyeol?" He called out, about to run forward to him, though being halted as a figure rammed into him, knocking him back to the ground. Glaring up, Sehun watched as Shinobi stood over him. A masked figure in black clothing, with not a single sliver of skin being revealed to him. He was mysterious, not knowing his purpose for fighting them, though whenever he came about, they could see his utter determination. This fiery will to take them down no matter what. No matter the adversity. Fighting until he was down to his final breath, sitting there as if ready to die at the hands of his enemy, yet Junmyeon would let him run off.

In a way, that mercy probably angered Shinobi most, as he'd come back stronger, even more determined for EXO's downfall at his hands.

Shinobi pressed his shoe against Sehun's wrist, stepping over his body and doing the same to the other until he was properly pinned down, immobilized beneath the villain. He then crouched, slow, meticulous movements as he knelt before Sehun, glowering down at him with this disdainful air to him. Atop his black attire was a blue devil mask, leering at Sehun with its domineering facade, bearing its sharp array of teeth as if ready to consume Sehun like he were nothing but prey. His hands wrapped around the column of Sehun's neck, beginning to press down on, interrupting his airway. Though instead of panicking, Sehun took a deep breath, inhaling until his chest was puffed up with his surplus of air, and then exhaled it all. The force of his breaths sent Shinobi flying back once more, crashing into the ground unceremoniously as Sehun leapt to his feet.

He pulled out his bow and arrow, retracting the string until it tugged with tension, and kept it aimed at Shinobi, lying helplessly on the ground. Soon enough, clumsy thumps grew louder and louder behind him until the familiar giant frame of Chanyeol came into Sehun's peripheral.

"Sorry for blowing you away." Sehun muttered, eyes still focused on the ninja lying on the ground, staring at Sehun's arrow point, precariously aimed at him, ready to shoot at his smallest movement.

"No worries." Chanyeol spoke.

A silence settled upon the two before Sehun continued.

"I'm glad to have you back."

He felt Chanyeol's eyes quickly avert to him, though he soon returned to the fallen villain, seemingly scheming within their radar.

"I don't have the heart to abandon my family."

Suddenly, Shinobi spun up, landing on his knees as he unveiled a set of knives from behind him. Mere seconds later, he sent his blades flying right towards them, the force of his throw cutting through the wind so sharply that Sehun had even felt its blades, even as he ducked and evaded it. And seconds after, Sehun released his bow, watching as its point pierced into Shinobi's shoulder. He automatically pulled another from his quiver, loading his bow and shooting another, though now in Shinobi's thigh, preventing him from running.

Sehun quickly glanced to Chanyeol, sighing in relief as he saw he was also unscathed. Though Chanyeol didn't acknowledge him, instead facing behind them in a frozen stupor. Following his gaze, Sehun stood stiffly alongside his friend, his blood running cold as he saw where both of Shinobi's blades had actually landed.

Right into Baekhyun's torso.

Though masked, the two could see Baekhyun's terror, all consuming as he stood there, motionless with fear. His head dropped shakily, arms trembling as he attempted to raise them towards the knives jutting from his body, though they could merely hover in terror over the weapons sunken into him. Crimson splotches began blooming from the wounds, soaking into his once pristine white cloak.

Chanyeol tentatively took a step forward, body shaking just as much as Baekhyun's.

Before he could say anything in regards to his friend standing there, Baekhyun fell onto his knees, a loud thud following his movements. In a blink, Chanyeol dove forward, grasping Baekhyun's shoulders and preventing him from falling on his stomach and sinking the knives deeper in their afflictions.

"Emergency, park, Jongin, Yixing, urgent." Sehun sputtered out incoherently, stumbling over to the two collapsed on the ground.

Chanyeol's breathing was labored, heaving as he desperately held Baekhyun to him. From beneath the mask, Sehun could hear Baekhyun's cries, the usual cheery boy now crumbling before the two as this dread began seeping into his mind.

Distantly, Baekhyun could feel the pain dredging into his mind, a subtle stinging erupting from where the metal points had pierced through his skin. The adrenaline of battle was slowly but surely waning, and soon he'd be able to feel it all. Feel the cruel sharpness of metal extracting his life force away. His body felt as cold as the blades within him, though he sweat as if the night were sweltering.

Chanyeol muttered quietly to him, stroking back Baekhyun's white hair.

"Stay with us, stay with us," He whispered. "Yixing will be here soon, you're okay, just please stay."

"I'm scared." Baekhyun responded, voice breaking as he spoke.

"Me too."

Seconds later, Yixing came running to them, Jongin following right behind him. Sehun moved out of the way, allowing the healer to crouch before Baekhyun and survey the situation.

His hands clasped the handles of the knives, gripping them tightly as he softly spoke, keeping his composure during such a dire situation.

"I'm going to remove these now, okay?" He asked. Baekhyun hesitated, already feeling where Yixing had shifted the blades, but nodded nevertheless, wearily grabbing Chanyeol's bicep and bracing himself for the worst. Yixing slowly pulled the knives out, coaxing an agonized holler from Baekhyun, squirming as Chanyeol held him down. "Jongin, Sehun, apply pressure to his wound."

They made quick work following the doctor's instructions, pressing down on the spots just as Yixing had fully unsheathed the knives from their placement within Baekhyun. Yixing soon placed his hands over theirs, and between them all, the comforting violet haze of Yixing's powers resonated from Baekhyun's body, lit up like a beacon as he made quick work of both closing the internal ruptures and external wounds. Baekhyun's chest rapidly rose and fell, fingers digging into Chanyeol's arm as the whole ordeal took place. Though soon enough, the pain ebbed away, the wave of solace from Yixing's touch flooding his body, a surge of energy causing him to confidently sit up. He released a slight hiss at the movement, wincing as he grasped at his body where he was struck, though only feeling closed skin beneath his shirt.

"You're not perfect. I'll continue treatment when we get back to the base." He explained, rising to his feet. "Meanwhile, I have to return to city hall. Minseok and Junmyeon are dealing with Spartan on their own right now."

"We'll probably head over, too." Chanyeol added, helping Baekhyun to his feet. "We're about done with weakening Shinobi." He pointed to the spot where the ninja once resided, though once again, it was now empty. Everyone stood there silently, staring at the barren field. "Where'd he go?"

"I… don't know." Sehun glanced around the area, only seeing darkness where the lampposts did not shed their light. "I shot him twice."

"You shot Shinobi…" Jongin noted, voice monotonous as he spoke. "... With solid arrows."

"Well, yeah, what else would I–" Sehun cut himself off, smacking his hand over his mask in frustration. "He absorbed the blows and ran off."

"He knew he couldn't take all three of us down." Baekhyun elaborated. "That's why he threw knives at me. He saw me approaching to help you guys out."

Yixing groaned, shaking his head in dismay.

"I'm going back to Spartan with Jongin, you guys figure this out." With a final wave to the three, Jongin teleported away, Yixing in tow with him.

"Let's go to Ginnung." Baekhyun suggested, still leaning on Chanyeol as he steadied himself on his feet. "It's better we take care of one guy instead of sitting here waiting for Shinobi to return."

They nodded before taking off, running through the pathways of the park. Sehun continued to whip his head about, though everything beyond the walkway was shrouded in darkness; the perfect environment for Shinobi. His instincts were telling him that the ninja lurked within those shadows, every single movement seeming to trigger some innate response in him. It was getting to his head, the fear of what lied ahead taunting him.

In the distance, he could see the entry to the park, the emptied streets of the city laying just meters away from him. His escape from this hellscape of a park. Once a paradise to him, a utopian garden of Eden as he recalled his memories here with (y/n), though now was haunted by a dark shadow, and within it the demon whose sole purpose was to invite chaos into his being. His adrenaline kicked in, his legs beating against the pavement near violently as he dashed to the exit. Chanyeol and Baekhyun ran close behind him, though the sounds of their sprinting seemed to gradually lessen as Sehun increased the distance between them.

In an ironic cruelty of fate, before he could break free from the void of darkness which had surrounded him before, he felt the familiar sensation of being collided into, toppling to the ground with a groan. His back cried out in agony, the man rolling to his side and grasping the soreness which now wrapped across his entire body. He blinked his eyes open, looking up to see Shinobi, crouched in the same position he used to throw Sehun off his route. He slowly rose up to his full height, back turned to him with his shoulders cockily rolled back, head in the direction of where Chanyeol and Baekhyun had all but skidded to a stop from his sudden appearance.

All it took was a single step from Shinobi for Chanyeol to suddenly shoot a ball of fire at him, sending the villain back against the ground, as if avenging Sehun for what had just happened to him.

"Come on, let's go!" Baekhyun urged, waving Sehun over to where they now stood just beyond the entry of the park, taking advantage of the slightly disoriented Shinobi patting away the remnants of fire on his suit. Though he remained unscathed, not burnt in the slightest.

"No." Sehun shook his head, groaning as he climbed back onto his feet. "I'm finishing this now."

Sehun tugged off the bow and quiver which clung to his body, tossing the weaponry aside, as it was redundant in this situation. Shinobi stood as well, intimidatingly staring down Sehun through the shroud of ambiguity offered by their masks. Suddenly, Chanyeol and Baekhyun seemed to fade from view, Sehun's sights trained on the shadowed figure skulking at the border of darkness, just out of light's range, though still able to be seen through the inky black he had delved into.

Sehun's fists clenched, his breath heavy as the anticipation of the moment rose, a tension settling in his body. The adrenaline broiling within him wanted him to run forth into battle, attack Shinobi right then and there with no second thoughts. Yet the reasoning in him held him back, waiting for the other to make the first move. To slice through the apprehension of the atmosphere, setting the scene for their inevitable fight.

That inevitability hung over Sehun, dangling precariously, just as the sword of Damocles. It instilled a fear in him, a fear which was present throughout his many hero escapades, keeping him vigilant and cautious. Though it was not debilitating, as he stood there, confident and prepared for whatever Shinobi had prepared. And as that fact of this fight being one which couldn't be avoided settled in his head, so did the fact that he truly was capable of defeating him.

Wind manipulation was perceived as a docile ability, one which couldn't necessarily harm others. In most cases, Sehun used it as a defense mechanism, warding off assailants from getting close to him or to merely throw them off course. His arrows were the one thing which had made him a force to be reckoned with, a hero capable of striking terror in the hearts of those who dare oppose him.

Though now here he stood, bare handed, the familiar weight of his quiver now absent, leaving his body light and airy.

An inkling in the back of his head, a tiny voice which seemed to whisper secrets into his ear, conspired within him. Thoughts which left him both curious and self assured, even as Shinobi finally kicked forward, dashing towards him, knowing Sehun could throw as many punches as he so desired, but he'd merely phase through them all.

Sehun steadied his stance, firmly planting his feet to the ground as he raised his fist in the air. Just as Shinobi had gotten close to him, ready to pounce on the hero and take him down, Sehun descended his clenched hand down, aiming right towards Shinobi's face.

Just as the ninja had prepared to pass through the attack, Sehun's fist stopped midair, an abrupt halt that momentarily confused Shinobi until a split second later, when a gust of wind shot forth from his hand, barreling into Shinobi and throwing him back and onto the ground.

Sehun stood there for a moment, waiting, thoughts frenzied on whether his theories proved correct.

Shinobi had stumbled back to his feet, hand briefly clasped over his face, right where the wind had hit him, instead of where his head had knocked into the hard ground.

Sehun had successfully delivered a punch to him.

Confidently, Sehun strode forward as Shinobi was attempting to regain his composure. A barrage of hits rained down upon him, Sehun swinging his arms about as the force of his winds cracked down on Shinobi. Each gust was focused, packing more impact with each attack than when Sehun would merely blow people away. These had purpose, these had focus– these proved that Sehun's wind could bring with it more than just defense.

He stopped, watching as Shinobi staggered back, arms raised over his head, hoping to block the hits being dealt unto him. His sleeves had torn at some point, revealing slivers of his arms, dark blooms of black and purple seeping into his skin already. He stood shakily, arms still braced over his head. His legs were spread, attempting to keep him standing, though wavering nevertheless.

Somewhere deep inside Sehun, he felt some pity for him. The man beneath that facade, beneath that daunting, terror-filled mask with its permanent snarl. The man who seemingly feared Sehun where he stood– feared EXO.

Though that pity dissipated once more as he heard the anguished cries of his members through his earpiece, snapping him from his daze and reminding him of where he stood, what he was doing, and who was before him.

With a whole new surge of fury boiling within him, Sehun took a step back, bracing himself for a moment more before kicking off the ground, a gust of wind further propelling him up. As he dropped towards Shinobi's figure, he bent his legs in.

He kicked out one leg, followed by the next, and with each kick, blasts of winds shot forth from him, slamming right into the unsuspecting Shinobi.

He fell back into the ground with a thud, lying there limply as Sehun cushioned his own fall, landing on his feet gently. Sehun approached the man, crouching at his level and wearily checking his vitals.

"He's alive." He stated, turning to where Chanyeol and Baekhyun stared with, what he could only assume was, unadulterated intrigue.

"Dude, that was cool." Baekhyun voiced his thoughts aloud, already making his way over to Shinobi. "You guys go ahead to the others, I'll call the force to come and detain Shinobi."

"Okay." Chanyeol nodded. He squeezed Baekhyun's shoulder softly. "Stay safe, alright?"

"Safe is my middle name." He nudged Chanyeol, walking towards Shinobi's unconscious body with a confident stride.

"You literally got stabbed not even half an hour ago."

Baekhyun shushed them, waving them off to go into battle with the others, choosing to ignore their remarks as they proceeded to run into the city.

"I'll take Ginnung, you take Spartan." Sehun instructed, to which Chanyeol nodded before running off to city hall.

Sehun took off in the air, projecting himself up with a boost of wind beneath him. He reached the peak of his jump, just barely grazing the misty clouds drifting above him.

The moon seemed so much larger at this point, though still was so tragically small from its distance. The crisp night air blew against his face, cooling his skin from wherever opening it could reach. He thought about returning home, shedding himself of his attire, showering off the grime and sweat of battle, and then burrowing into his bed once more to sleep until he was to awaken for work in a few hours.

Home.

He never once thought he could truly call any place home. No matter how long he stayed where he was, he always felt like an intruder. Surrounded by normal humans, going about their day to day, living their lives as anyone should. They naturally fit into these comfortable dynamics, as if having been born with a purpose. To be artists, to be explorers, to be workers.

Sehun had never felt that way.

Ostracized by everyone. Never finding the key to being like the others. As if he were cursed to forever be a reject for as long as he had these abilities in his grasp. While everyone seemed to gravitate and adjust to their lives, Sehun had to find his own route. He had to force himself into normalcy.

Aero offered him an escape from it all. To be his true self. Something that only his group could ever acknowledge appreciatively. The public worshipped them, almost to a terrifying degree, as if they were gods among men. Though he knew they alienated him just as they always have.

What's the difference between being rejected from society as a freak and being separated from society as a god?

No matter where he stood, whether it be as lowly as dirt or ascended upon a pedestal, he was still and always would be different.

And yet there stood (y/n).

She was just as clueless as the others, only knowing him as a journalist, yet she accepted him so wholeheartedly. As if he truly has fit into that mold people so easily fell into. He was a journalist, though she also saw him as a neighbor. A friend. A lover. Someone she could rely on, trust with her entire being. She cared for him as she could anyone else, though she chose to share her heart with solely him.

And the thought seemed to comfort him. The thought that he could tell her everything with the certainty that she'd still love him just the same. That he could tell her about his childhood, his powers, his friends, his identity. He could open himself to her, rely on (y/n) just as she relied on him.

Though he refrained, a subtle fear lingering in his heart. That just as she had the agency to choose him, she also had the choice of leaving him. Her prerogative was as powerful an ability as any of their superpowers, and for that reason, he chose to hide his abilities, in hopes that she'd also hide her own ability of decision. Because he couldn't lose her. He just couldn't.

Home.

Home wasn't his apartment; it was the decorations (y/n) put up herself. The blanket she bought him because she'd get cold on his couch. The slippers she'd always forget about at his doorstep as she padded back and forth between their respective domiciles.

Home was (y/n).

And returning to his apartment devoid of her waiting for him was not ideal. Though even with the distance between them, she still felt right beside him, her reassuring touch settling his nerves as he began plummeting back to the ground.

She had texted him so often during the past day, keeping her promise of staying in contact. Even to the point where she was battling her own exhaustion, desperately trying to stay awake for him, to keep him company. He assured her she could sleep, but she had refused, near adamant to remain conscious. She was manic in her behavior, as if fearful of shutting her eyes and sleeping. Though finally, she succumbed to the slumber which weighed down her lids, her texts stopping at around midnight. She was never one for the night owl life, and so Sehun appreciated her actions, no matter how strange they were.

He cushioned his fall as he reached the ground, only to hop up once more.

Though he couldn't help but silently question her. Why did she want to stay awake this time around? Whenever (y/n) felt even the slightest bit tired, she would abandon whatever she was doing and go to bed. Perhaps it truly was to talk to him longer. They only just revealed their feelings for one another the day prior, so perhaps she actually didn't want to separate from him. It was a pleasant thought, one which warmed his heart, though also one that did not sate his curios at all. Deep down, in the part of his mind he'd prefer to ignore, he knew she was hiding something from him. What it was, he didn't know. Nor did he find it in himself to truly care.

As arrogant as it sounded, Sehun was happy. He found some joy in his bleak, ever stressful life. A spark in the darkness of his world, rekindling a devotion to living that Sehun hadn't thought ever existed in him. She breathed life into him in everything she did. He'd be damned if he were to ever let her go.

And so he pushed aside his thoughts, choosing to remain in blissful ignorance for as long as he was allowed.

The Ginnung battle was close by, as Sehun could hear the distant commotion gradually increasing in volume, growing nearer and nearer to the location of the fight– a shopping centre with stores lined on either side of a dense road. At this time of night, thankfully, nobody was there. They wouldn't have to worry about Ginnung getting to any innocent civilians.

Though Ginnung primarily used their portals as defense mechanisms, where one thing enters one portal and exits from another, sometimes they could cut off this transportation entirely, leaving everything and everyone trapped in this unknown dimension with no means of escape.

EXO's first priority was to evacuate the immediate location wherever Ginnung appeared.

Sehun landed on the top of one of the many shops, peering down at the battle at hand. Ginnung stood at the center of it all, hands flying about to and fro as portals spawned in every direction around them. Kyungsoo continuously flung boulders at the villain, only for each one to be absorbed into one of the glowing dimensional rifts, sprouting out on the other side of Ginnung. Jongdae zapped furiously at every portal, seemingly able to disintegrate each one with his lightning. Though it was redundant, a hydra like scenario where one is evaporated and two more sprout forth in its place.

Sehun reached behind him, fishing for one of his arrows though coming up empty handed. Startled, he looked over his shoulder, only to realize he had abandoned his bow and arrows at the park.

"Shit." He muttered, crouching behind the store sign near him for cover as he considered his options. Would his wind powers be sufficient enough in this battle? He could definitely knock them over if he tried, maybe disorient them from such a blow. Close combat was out of the question. He'd never be able to make it close enough to land a wind punch on them. It'd be best if he were to manage sneaking behind the portal manipulator, catch them off guard and give Jongdae and Kyungsoo the opportunity to strike, but before he could charge into his scheme, a portal suddenly spawned right before him.

Its borders glowed a brilliant red, shimmering and shifting in spastic motions. At its center was a dark void; an abysmal doorway to an endless dimension of nothing. The obsidian hellscape seemed to absorb everything in its grasp, so terribly devoid of all life and light. It was almost one dimensional, though Sehun knew that within the portal was a ceaseless depth, all consuming in its existence. He stared in fear at the face of death as it stared back at him, stoic in its gaze, uncaring of what were to ever happen to Sehun had he been some ways closer to it, able to be sucked into its mortal embrace.

A moment later, Sehun was sent hurtling backwards, one of Kyungsoo's near monoliths catapulting forth from the portal and all but ramming into Sehun's abdomen. His back slammed against the store's sign, sending the two in an inevitable downwards descent to the street below.

He collided with the unforgivingly rough surface, breath revoked from his lungs as the hefty rock weighed down upon his body. Sehun heaved, breathing labored as he shoved the stone off him, attempting to have a moment to himself to recover. Though he should've known better.

The sensation of falling came to him faster than he could process, a portal spawning beneath Sehun and spiraling him briefly through Ginnung's cold, barren void. The falling only stopped as he landed once more on the ground, groaning in agony at the second merciless impact.

"Aero!" Jongdae shouted, rushing to the boy and dragging him away from the battle. "Jongin, we need backup, Ginnung is more than we can handle at the moment."

Jongdae catered to Sehun, allowing him time to recuperate from the attacks. His head pounded, eyes blurred from the sharp ebbs of pain stabbing at him relentlessly. It was a task in and of itself to breathe, as if that boulder that had initially struck him still pressed down on his chest. His body cried for reprieve, though he knew he'd have to endure until after the fact.

Kyungsoo continued to rain a barrage of earth unto Ginnung, though it was all seemingly fruitless. That is until Sehun realized what he was really doing.

He was distracting them.

Charging forth from down the street was Jongin, wielding his signature batons in either hand as he came rushing towards the unsuspecting Ginnung. Supposedly unsuspecting.

Before he could get anywhere near hitting them, however, Ginnung whirled around, shooting out their hand in Jongin's direction. He hadn't any time to even attempt stopping as a portal suddenly spawned right in front of him, causing him to run directly into its all encompassing embrace before it dissipated from the air, leaving not even a trace of its existence behind.

Sehun slowly looked around, waiting to see where Jongin would appear next, where Ginnung would place their next portal. Though they remained where they stood, attention turned back to Kyungsoo whose attacks had gradually weakened as he too realized the gravity of the situation.

Jongin wasn't coming back.

It suddenly grew quiet between them all. This heavy, thick silence which seemed to suffocate Sehun as he began looking about more frantically, though the street remained empty, Ginnung closing his portals one by one until there was nothing left. Ginnung paused as they realized the heroes had stopped their assault, merely standing there, crumbling before the villain's eyes. Ginnung stared blankly at the group through their helmet, quietly observing them and their reactions, watching as they slowly deteriorated with their overflowing misery. It was an almost somber moment, the group absolutely grief stricken by, essentially, the death of their friend.

And much like before, as Sehun looked down to Shinobi, he realized how heartless these people were. These people who strived to destroy them and Exodus. These people that EXO risked their lives to fight against. These monsters that roamed the earth freely.

There was a sinister aura radiating off of Ginnung in waves, their head twisting in intrigue as they watched Kyungsoo collapse to his knees, eyes trained on where Jongin had last been. The villain merely observed, a careful eye discerning the scene before them, entranced by the heroes' anguish, attention completely focused on the despair of EXO.

It was such an abrupt happening. Sehun hadn't even time to blink before Jongin had left the face of the earth. Gone. His heart seized in on itself, thumping erratically against him as he scrambled to his feet, ignoring the cry of his muscles to return to the ground. His stance wavered, though his glare remained steadily on Ginnung, still preoccupied as they stepped closer to Kyungsoo crying on the ground.

With all of his might, with every ounce of strength remaining in his drained body, Sehun extended his arms out, beginning to force out a surge of wind right at Ginnung. It was near deafening as it slammed into them, hurling them against the brick wall of a shop with a violent thwack.

They slid down until they collapsed onto the floor, coughing from the sheer might of the collision. Ginnung looked up as Sehun began staggering towards them, frantically attempting to back away from him, though was cornered against the solid storefront behind them.

They watched Sehun carefully, their body language more frightened than it had ever been before. As if that cocky demeanor moments prior, that sickening captivation they had with Kyungsoo's grief, had all but washed away, leaving behind a person who now faced the man responsible for their inevitable death– their undertaker. Sehun thought back to Shinobi and how he had begun cowering all of a sudden, a random, abrupt shift from his initial haughty mannerisms.

The pain of Jongin's absence poked at Sehun's heart, reminding him of who lied at his feet. Whether it be Shinobi or Ginnung, they were villains. Villains who tried to kill not only the citizens, but his family. Villains who didn't deserve any form of mercy.

As Sehun raised his hand once more, ready to deal one last hit to the pathetic excuse of a human below him, Jongdae's gasp broke through the haze of anger obscuring Sehun's thoughts, causing him to turn around and check on his elder.

Though as he turned, he was met by the presence of Jongin, standing there in confusion, looking about his surroundings in shock.

Jongin was back. He was alive. He was right there.

Overwhelmed by emotions, Sehun took a step forward, about to reunite with his friend while briefly abandoning Ginnung. Until a portal spawned right in front of him, his nose barely grazing the frigidity of the unknown dimension Ginnung used as a bridge between portals. The same dimension he had attempted to trap Jongin in. Furious, Sehun spun around, arm already pulled back and swinging down at the villain who tried to not only kill Jongin, but now even himself.

Though just before Sehun's wind punch landed on them, a split second before he had successfully knocked out Ginnung, he saw it.

A glowing green hue, peering up at him through the slit of Ginnung's helmet.

Though as his winds had smacked into the side of their head, it faded away, their eyes closing as they lost consciousness.

The portal faded away as Ginnung fell on his side. A peace settled in the air for a moment, though apprehension still plagued Sehun.

Those green eyes. That same green which pierced his soul in the same manner as Necromancer. As if it were the same gaze he was encountering, though from two different people.

Sehun was about to crouch down, rip off the helmet of Ginnung, and check for himself whether their eyes truly were green. If it was just a coincidence for the same green gaze to be directed at him, watching him, probing his every move. They felt inescapable, even as Ginnung remained the way they were. It felt like that green stare still remained on Sehun, tearing him apart, dissecting his every action. Trapping him in a dark, unforgiving forest of fear and trepidation, leaving him to die from his own insanity until his last and final thought is just that– that encompassing green all around him.

Before Sehun could reach a hand to Ginnung's helmet, the earth shook for a moment. A slight, faint tremor, though still apparent. He went to question it until another followed it. And then another. And another. Each one growing louder and louder, shaking the earth more and more until Sehun stood shakily on his feet, assuming the worst that it was an earthquake.

Though he was proven wrong on both accounts just seconds later: it wasn't an earthquake, nor was an earthquake the worst case scenario.

Spartan came rounding the corner of the street, his towering height seemingly having increased since the last Sehun had seen him. He came sprinting down the road with an inhuman speed, the earth quaking with each and every stride he took. He was coming right for Sehun, barely giving the boy any time to dive away before he rushed past him, continuing down the street and out of their sights.

Sehun huffed, the pain in his body once more coming to his mind as he hit the ground again, though he once more ignored it to the best of his abilities, scared out of his wits from what just happened. Because not only did he nearly die at the hands of Spartan's running alone, but as he looked up at the behemoth of a man…

He saw green.

Turning around, he looked to where Ginnung once lied, though now was absent, rescued by Spartan before Sehun could get his hands on them. He groaned to himself, the adrenaline which once kept him going now fizzling into nothing, leaving him a weakened mesh of battered flesh and bones.

A second after he shut his eyes, he was in the base, lying on the couch. He looked over to see Jongin crouched beside him, though before he could question him, he teleported away again, reappearing one by one with more of the members until everyone was gathered in the same room again.

"I lost Shinobi," Baekhyun explained, yanking off his mask to reveal his shocked, widened eyes. He looked as if he had seen the most terrifying amalgamation of destruction to ever grace the earth. More specifically, Spartan. "He just came out of nowhere. I had to run out of his way, he wasn't slowing down. And then after it passed, I looked over and– gone!"

"Same with Ginnung." Jongdae added.

Across the room, Junmyeon was steaming with fury, pacing and muttering to himself as he ignored the other inhabitants of the area. His hair was tousled, bearing the consequences of his hands running through the matted strands frustratedly. His teeth abused his bottom lip, gnawing at the skin as his eyes bore holes into the ground he glared at, almost menacingly in his mannerism.

He was beyond aggravated, past the point of him lecturing the group or hollering his disdain for the situation. He merely remained to himself, trapping his aggressions in his already convoluted mindscape, probably worsening the state he was in at this point, though what could they do?

After changing, Chanyeol looked at their leader, watched as he all but ignored his presence, opting to instead retreat to the control room once more. With a sigh, Chanyeol nodded to the others, accepting their greetings in his own little welcome back party before departing, not wanting to stay another moment in the same room as Junmyeon. Though in all fairness, none of them did.

He was analogous to deadly nightshade, mucking up wherever he resided with toxic fumes, poisoning those around him with his mere presence. Tension seemed to drag along wherever he went, dredging up until it was so terribly dreary that the lot would much rather do literally anything else than be around him. It was a sad constant, though one they've tragically grown accustomed to, watching the near depraved man sink further into his madness.

(y/n)'s words returned to him as he watched Junmyeon tap away furiously on the computers, eyes absorbed into the screens as he compiled more findings in their files. He knew she was right, that he should bear some patience for their leader. The man who practically raised him. Saved him from a life of solitude in hiding. He should listen to his position, truly grasp where he stood in this whole thing. Remind him that they were all on the same boat, that he wasn't the only one carrying this burden.

Though as he looked once more, at the stiffness in his bodice, the stoic glaze in his eyes, he knew right now wasn't the time.

He began to make his way to the door after having changed until he felt a hand grasp at his shirt, tugging him back some steps with a pathetic whine.

"Don't leave me here," Baekhyun whispered, sat on the couch where Sehun had once resided. After Yixing had healed Sehun of his many injuries, he got to work on the others, though left Baekhyun for last, wanting to run actual tests on him to ensure he healed every part of the stab wound from before. So he had to stay behind for a little while longer. "Please."

"I'd love to, I really would," Sehun responded, resting a hand on Baekhyun's shoulder. With a gentle, reassuring squeeze, he continued. "But I would much rather do anything else that requires me leaving this place so…"

"I brought your bow and arrows back with me, you should be grateful!" He reminded him, eyes widened with his theatrics. "I could've left it behind for the reporters to snag!"

"I am so grateful, truly." Sehun pressed a hand to his chest. "But also, I don't care. All you did was repay me for forcing me to move apartments"

"Your lease was running out anyways! Get over it! You have a new apartment!" Baekhyun argued as Sehun slipped out of the room.

The next day was a drag, Sehun going about his day absolutely drained from the night before. He barely got any sleep before he was rushing to his job. And the day seemed to drag up to the point where he was finally released from his cycle of torment. For the rest of the day, at least.

He had barely gotten any time to even reach his door before the one opposite his swung open, and a girl came stumbling out, arms wrapping around Sehun in a suffocating hug. She then proceeded to drag him inside, continuing to hold him as they hobbled over to her couch to proceed with their embrace there.

It was a common thing between them, and one Sehun had come to absolutely adore, hugging her back as they finally collapsed onto the plush cushions.

"Are you okay?" She asked, voice muffled from where she had buried her face into his sweater.

"Of course I'm alright," he responded, hand gently stroking the back of her head. "I told you last night I was alright, and this morning, and this afternoon, and now I'm telling you to your face." He pressed his hand to her jawline, raising her head up to face him. Her eyes glimmered with worry, with apprehension, with fear. Though past it all was the usual spark of admiration she held for him. Her silent appreciation that he truly was safe. "I'm okay."

"I get so nervous when I hear about the battles." (y/n) muttered, pouting sadly as her eyes averted downwards, avoiding his gaze.

"I understand." He answered.

His finger tapped gently on her cheek, hoping to gain her attention, bring her loving eyes back to him, but she refused, adamant on staring at the patterns of his sweater. With a soft smile, his eyes lazily drifting down to her pouted mouth, Sehun leant forward, pressing his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. She responded almost immediately, her kiss just as doting as she always was, warm and loving and everything he could ever ask for. The way she poured her emotions out for him, conveying every spoken and unspoken truth within her heart. Her touch was like an ailment to any affliction, her hands reaching up to cup his face tenderly. He melted into her touch, her fingers delicately stroking against his skin, sparking and reigniting the life within him.

This was all he needed. This was all he could ever ask for. This was what he had always wanted in his world.

This precious soul, so strong, so caring. Benevolent in her entirety. Someone who deserved all things good in life. Someone who was meant to be cherished by someone entirely devoted to her. Sehun would like to think he was that devoted follower she deserved. Someone who could love her as she was, comfort her in her times of need, never abandon her when she's at her lowest, support her when she's riding the highs of success. Be there for her during every step of the way.

He was so hopelessly in love with her.

With their stomachs full, the TV playing something in the background, blanket draped over the two, encasing them in a cocoon of warmth and comfort, Sehun could feel (y/n) dozing off on him. His fingers continued to gently scratch against her scalp, massaging away any tension she could have had, leaving her a pile of mush nestled against his chest. As she slowly faded away, Sehun had decided to shift his attention to the screen, tuning in and out on the nature documentary playing, watching the family of penguins waddle about in the snow.

The scene of a father penguin nursing his egg came up, sparking Sehun's attention.

"How's your dad?" He softly asked, not wanting to break the tranquil silence which filled the atmosphere. It had taken a moment for her to respond, Sehun having even thought she had truly fallen asleep.

"He's fine, I guess." She mumbled lowly, a curious lilt in her voice. "I have no idea. Why?"

His heart plummeted at her response, tensing some before catching himself, not wanting to startle her in her dazed state.

"You took care of him this weekend, didn't you?" He questioned.

This time, he felt her stiffen in his touch. Though just as quickly as he had felt it, she softened again, shifting some to grow cozier against him, hiding herself in his shoulder.

"Yeah. I did." She responded. "He's okay now."

Dread practically filled his entire being, even after (y/n) had gone to sleep. His hand continued to pet her, keeping her asleep as his mind swam with incessant anxieties. All revolving around her and her secret. What was she hiding from him? With every new thing he gathered from her, he couldn't help but grow more and more concerned, more and more worried. That deep area within his mind was slowly becoming more and more overwhelmed, and he knew eventually, he wouldn't be able to continue ignoring it.

But for now, with (y/n)'s steady breathing lulling him to sleep, the familiar scent of vanilla from her candle wafting in the air, and the warmth of their two bodies snuggled close together, he forced his doubts away. Because he was just so hopelessly, desperately, maddeningly in love with (y/n), and he couldn't ever let her go.

prev — next

[makeste]

“...and I bullied him.”

hello, hello, good afternoon or evening or whatever time it is. so by now we’ve all had some time to bask in those “Kacchan admitted he cares about Deku” feels (well, technically they were “All Might pointed out that Kacchan was worried about Deku and Kacchan didn’t deny it” feels, BUT THOSE MIGHT AS WELL BE THE SAME FEELS, YOU KNOW). and it’s been lovely. I’ve been having a time. it’s been nice.

but now I would like to talk a bit more about a part of this chapter which I think was even more important.

for me, this was the line of the chapter. this one panel may honestly be the biggest piece of Kacchan character development since all the way back in chapter 120. “I ended up bullying him.” okay but guys?? can we just talk?? about how absolutely extraordinary this one sentence is.

it’s self-aware.

introspection? from a kid who’s had to be dragged kicking and screaming to every character development milestone he’s ever experienced in his life? and on an emotional level that actually goes deeper, and doesn’t just stop at the surface-level anger that’s so often his instinctive reaction to everything? who are you and what have you done with Bakugou Katsuki lol.

but seriously, the level of self-analysis here almost stunned me, guys. not only does he demonstrate a very impressive level of insight into Deku (something I especially love because it mirrors the many analyses Deku has made of him, and shows that the understanding between them is actually mutual), but he also shows an unprecedented degree of insight into himself. like, historically speaking, Bakugou and Feelings have not always exactly been on the same page, you know? so for him to suddenly get so thoughtful now, and sincerely try to analyze these feelings which up until now he’s always ignored and avoided dealing with... that is such a huge step. also, bonus points: he recognizes it as a problem within himself, and doesn’t try to pin the blame on Deku in any way. he recognizes that he’s the one who reacted badly to Deku’s behavior. to be able to examine your own feelings like that and arrive at a conclusion that acknowledges that you’re not the good guy in this, that you’re the one who made the mistake -- that takes a level of accountability that not everyone possesses.

it’s self-prompted.

okay this one is a big deal honestly. no one put a gun to Katsuki’s head here and forced him to confess this. all All Might said was “you’re worried about him too” and that somehow prompted a level of emotional honesty that Katsuki has never before shown. now, based on the fact that the successors’ notebook is still fresh in Katsuki’s mind, and that All Might mentioned earlier that Aizawa couldn’t help because he was “busy at the moment”, this conversation likely took place shortly after the kids returned from their New Year’s break. meaning that this was basically right after the Endeavor internship arc, when thoughts about seeking atonement were still fresh on Katsuki’s mind. so this isn’t entirely out of the blue; it shows that Katsuki did, in fact, learn exactly what All Might was hoping he would learn from Endeavor.

but it’s one thing for this to be on his mind, and another thing entirely for him to actually confess it out loud. and I absolutely will give him full credit for that. he admits, without anyone forcing him to, that he bullied Deku. there’s no incentive for him to do this whatsoever. Deku isn’t there to hear it. he’s not admitting it for the purposes of seeking forgiveness. he’s simply just being honest, and owning up to what he did because he realizes it was wrong. and that takes a lot of inner strength, to do that. to not shy away from it and keep pretending like it never happened. this is a huge first step for him.

it’s a confession that leaves him emotionally vulnerable.

this is another big one. it’s not always evident because he makes a big effort to downplay it, but Katsuki looks up to All Might every bit as much as Deku does. he seeks his approval, he wants All Might to be proud of him, even though he very often puts on a big show of not caring about it at all. it means a lot to him. a lot.

and Katsuki knows how much All Might cares about Deku. and sure, All Might is already perfectly aware that Katsuki and Deku aren’t exactly on the best of terms, and he’s always been understanding about it; always gently compassionate and attempting to smooth things out between them without being judgmental.

but All Might also doesn’t know everything about the two of them. and even with Kacchan and Deku’s relationship never exactly being on the most rock solid of terms at U.A., there’s still a vast difference between the way they interact there, and the way that they interacted back in middle school. when Katsuki was not only hostile, but occasionally downright cruel. and when Deku was still quirkless, and very much not on equal footing with Kacchan in terms of power, and yet Kacchan bullied him anyway.

what Katsuki is confessing here puts him at risk of rejection from one of the people whose opinion of him matters the most. he’s opening himself up to the possibility that All Might might not, for once, react with his trademark understanding. he’s admitting to All Might, I did something unherolike, and I hurt someone you care about, and I didn’t have a good reason for doing it. All Might, in the moment immediately following this statement, has an incredible amount of power over Katsuki. he has the ability to withdraw his support, to condemn him, to pull away and decide that Katsuki is not someone worthy of becoming a hero after all. he has all the power in the world over Katsuki in this one moment; a rejection from him would be a blow he’d never recover from.

and Katsuki, knowing this, tells him anyway. willingly opens himself up to that possibility of being hurt, of being rejected and shunned by the person who inspired his dream. because the alternative is being dishonest with him. this is, in short, a decision made because he believes All Might deserves to know this, and deserves to hear the truth from him. he wants his approval so badly, but he can’t live with the knowledge that he’s “tricked” him into giving it. so he tells him the truth, ready to face whatever consequences might arise from that. and I think that might be one of the bravest things he’s ever done.

it’s not attempting to shirk responsibility.

this, right here, is why Katsuki is my favorite character. because even though he’s flawed, even though he’s made a lot of mistakes, when he realizes that and is confronted by it, he never tries to hide from them. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: to me, the essence of Katsuki is that he is someone who is always trying to be better. he wants to be a good hero; he wants to be a good person. when people point out to him that he’s done something wrong, he listens. it doesn’t always sink in right away, sure, and sometimes he gets stubborn and it can be hard to hammer that truth in. but once he gets it, he always makes the change. he never tries to make excuses. he owns up to his shit and does his best to course correct.

with this acknowledgement here, that he bullied Deku, there’s no attempt on his part to say that it was Deku’s fault, that Deku shouldn’t have done this or that. he doesn’t blame his parents or his teachers or try to act like he didn’t know any better. he makes no attempt whatsoever to justify it. it’s just simple, honest truth. back then, I ignored my own weakness, so I ended up bullying him. it’s a plea of guilt. no attempt to mitigate it or downplay it. the verb he uses, “ijimeta”, doesn’t water it down.

“to ill-treat; to torment; to be cruel to.” there’s no attempt here to paint this in a flattering light at all. which is good. because in order for him to really atone for it, to really go the distance in his redemption arc which we’re all rooting for him to do, the most important step is for him to take responsibility. he can’t learn from it if he’s trying to hide from it or make excuses for what he did wrong. he has to fully acknowledge his mistakes. and that’s exactly what this is.

it shows remorse.

that’s right y’all. they sent my boy out to do an internship with Endeavor over the holidays, and he came back having learned the true meaning of Christmas. his heart really did grow three sizes. honey badger does care.

there is genuine, sincere remorse for his actions here. he’s sorry for what he did. he regrets what he did. there’s real contrition there. it’s not forced or insincere. again, nobody made him say this! nobody pressured him, nobody led him on. these are his own feelings. I bullied Deku. I shouldn’t have done that to him. I want to atone for it.

I know some people in fandom don’t think this is enough. the same thing happened with Endeavor as well. people aren’t always satisfied with restorative justice; they want retribution. they want punishment for his actions. and that’s a natural feeling; it stems back to that instinct of wanting everything to be fair, which I mentioned in another meta not too long ago.

but the thing is, retributive, punitive justice doesn’t actually help anyone. it doesn’t restore what was lost. Katsuki being punished doesn’t do anything to undo what was done to Deku. it doesn’t do anything to heal the harm that was dealt. it doesn’t do anything to make things better for either of them moving forward.

but do you know what does? restorative justice. making amends. which is exactly what this is building up to now.

it shows an understanding that remorse is not enough, and that in order to move forward he has to take action to be a better person.

Katsuki understands that simply being sorry for what he did is not enough. I suspect that’s one reason why he hasn’t attempted to apologize to Deku yet; because he recognizes that after years of tormenting him for stupid and self-centered reasons, a simple apology might seem meaningless at best and self-serving at worst. it puts pressure on Deku to make a decision to either accept or not accept it. Katsuki saw the Todoroki siblings struggling with a similar conflict not too long ago. and he knows better than anyone else how selfless Deku can be. “deep down, he doesn’t take himself into account, y’know?” and so if Katsuki simply apologizes, Deku might end up offering forgiveness that he doesn’t actually deserve, just because Deku is that kind of person who puts others above himself.

and so rather, what Katsuki has opted to do for now is to put all his efforts into helping Deku. he knows Deku is in a considerable amount of danger. he knows how much Deku has on his plate with the SIXQUIRKS and trying to handle all of that. and he knows there are other potential dangers looming which they don’t even know about yet. he’s been alert and anxious about this -- you saw how quickly his mind leaped to worst-case scenarios about the past OFA users; how he was sure that All Might was hiding something from them, and how agitated and apprehensive he got thinking about what that might be.

“I’m worried for him. you are, too,” All Might said. and Katsuki didn’t deny it. didn’t even try. he is worried about Deku. he’s worried about what he has to face. he’s worried about him getting in over his head and something happening to him. and so the way that he has chosen to try and atone is to help him. with his training, with his quirks; whatever he can do. if he needs to push him he’ll push him. whatever he can do to help make him stronger. and if he needs to protect him, he’ll do that too.

atonement is not the same thing as forgiveness. atonement is about trying to make up for what you did, to try and correct your mistakes however you can. it doesn’t mean you’re pardoned from them. all it means is that you’ve acknowledged them, and are doing your best -- doing whatever you can -- to repair the harm done, and to be a better person going forward. and sometimes there is no way to ever completely make up for it. sometimes you can’t undo the harm, because you can’t go back and change the past. the only thing you can change is the now, and the future.

and so Katsuki is trying to atone. he’s trying to be the friend Deku deserves now, since he wasn’t before. he’s trying his best to make things right, and it all starts with this one sentence. that acknowledgement of what he did, of what can’t be changed. acknowledgement of the mistake, so that he can learn from it, so that it never happens again.

so yeah. BnHA Redemption Arcs strike again. Horikoshi you smooth son of a bitch.