#I just like the idea of Soos actually being very helpful and kind to Ford

[astro-b-o-y-d]

I keep having thoughts about Soos and Ford but it's less incoherent and more 'Soos would immediately see him as a friend and call him Dr. Pines and just be an all-around nice dude to him and Ford would be like ???'

[popculturebuffet]

Reviewcaps: Amphibia: Swamp and Sensibility / Wax Museum

This week Anne tries to treat life like a ABCFamily Original Movie with predictable results while Kermit the frog cameos and the rest of the family wonder into a few possible Jordan Peele Movies. Then Anne stumbles into a Gravity Falls Homage and Frog Stan nearly murders her because that’s our boy. That’s our boy right there. Be warb under the cut. 

Wooo hoo! While this one’s a little wait both due to work on another review for a certain episode, this was a decent episode to cap off our long road trip. We’re now one week away from Marcy debuting and also Keith motherfucking David. 

I have no idea what enlisted is or what the hell is going on here but it’s keith david casually laying on a bicyle in full uniform. How could I not? 

Before we get to this week here’s last week’s recap, as tumblr ate it for reasons..  as you can also see if you click on my blog I tided up my subpages, so amphibia reviews can now be found in the general disney section along with ducktales and star vs. Now that’s out of the way our last episodes before marcy and keith, i’m a day behind, let’s a go. 

Swamp and Sensiblility

I”m also going to try going a bit looser.. still recapping what happens but not beat for beat as it’s gotten tiring and I sometimes strain for jokes especially when tired. So this week The Plantars find themselves stranded in Ribbiton, the most expensive city in amphibia after betsy breaks her reigns and, not having any other options are forced to stay with Hop Pop trying to keep the kids from getting distracted by the luxury. Thankfully they find an old friend: It’s One Eyed Wally!

Actually got an outside gif to work! Also hooray! But I did really like wally after his spotlight episode last season and his insane plan with the explosives that wound up paying off.. that’s some Wolverine level thinking.. no really he once cut the wires open in a sewer during a rainstorm so when the water inevitibly hit them it’d cause a blackout and hopefully help the x-men when it did if things had gone sideways.. which by the time it did, it did and they had. So good on you guys.  Anyways turns out Wally’s a rich boy but he’s gone too far because he know it don’t matter anyway.. and has been hiding his true self from his family, so the plantars showing up really dosen’t help. Thankfully he’s able tos top them from talking or correcting his father assuming their the help and our family takes lord rich asshole up on his offer to stay the night at their mansion, which in what I assume is a nod to gravity falls has peacocks on the lawn, though this being Amphibia their giant and deadly and you shouldn’t look right at them. 

Once in their fancy guest room, Anne wonders...

Wally explains, as I did he’s hiding himself. Anne sees parallels with a movie she was watching at the start of the episode from point to pop and lock which looks like my own personal hell.. aka an abc family original movie back before it became freeform, which is a more fitting name for what the network horrifcally mutated into over time so fair enough. It’s better than say keeping the names MTV or TLC long after either of those acronyms is at all accurate.. and at least with MTV they have almost 40 years of brand recognition to justify it with. But yeah it’s about a ballerina who wants to hip hop dance, you’ve seen the story a million time.. and a plot repeated here about a kid wanting to live their dreams but worrying their family won’t accept them or knowing they won’t, with wally, while not carrying for the money, not wanting to loose his family or his beloved bug... which reminds me of that Pokemon episode with James and his growlithe only without a carbon copy of jesse trying to use bdsm to make james obey which is not how that works Jessebelle. That’s not how any of that works. What.. what even was that episode.. I mean somehow it was really good and makes me question why Jesse and James never hooked up but still, what WAS that. 

Anyways, while Anne decides to interfere, the Plantars get a great montage of wondering into various creepy shit with toad saunas, rich people smashing things, and one frog in a peacock outfit among actual peacocks.. just.. yeah.. real Jordan Peele/Blumhouse “Rich white people are fucking terrifying” shit.. which is accurate. Thankfully instead of getting trapped in their own bodies or forced to star in the boy, our heroes make it back to Anne.  At dinner Anne outs wally as a frigging weirdo with predictable results. Yeah the one flaw I can find with this episode is it’s REALLY predictable up to this point: Anne watches a movie, is obviously going to encounter someone with similar problems, then tries using that movie as real life, it fails but then somehow workso ut in the end or dosen’t but the person is happy anyway. What does spice it up though is the final act, as Wally decides fuck it , he’s going to take control of his own life and issues a family challenge against his dad to do so, something Anne, and me honeslty, had forgotten about from last season as that was 30 years ago and one of the less memorable episodes. Still nice bit of continuity. But with wally lacking a mount because his dad’s a prick, Anne pitches in to fix her screw up and we get a decently shot sequence, and amontage, as Anne and Wally play rich polo against wally’s dad. Oh and of course the more notable part of this, Kermit the Frog here, if sadly the minty fresh matt vogel one instead of the sadly fired Steve Whitmire.. still not over that but oddly Vogel does a better job here than on muppets now as I genuinely could not tell it was him so it works. But yeah, it’s not Vogel doing a voice but Kermit DOING voicework for amphibia, because Muppets get wonderfully meta and Disney wanted to keep this gimmick going. yes going, as last year Fozzy did voice acting for Big City Greens... I fucking love this and hope disney keeps doing it for all their shows. Do Owl House next. 

Anywho Kermit commentates and it’s okay, they don’t do much with him but the sheer novelty of Kermit playing a thinly veiled copy of himself that still looks like a muppet still kinda works. Anyways wally ends up winning via hair accordion (”How long has that been in there?” “At least a full season”) and his dad dosen’t want Wally to leave the family.. which neither does he, he just wants to be accepted, his father accepts him, reveals he also likes music, happy end.  Final Thoughts: As you can tell I kinda breezed through this one but unlike other just okay episodes lately i’ts not half bad and while using a stock plot, it does use it cleverly, and to help flesh out a character we like.. it’s still very by thenumbers but the neat setting of the rich people mansion, the plantars journey through it’s creepy bowels and kermit the frog cameoing all really help boost what otherwise would’ve just be “the episdoe before the gravity falls homage” it still was but it was enjoyable enough. It’s just in a day where disney said gay rights and i’ts sister episode is again an homage to one of Disney’s greatst shows in it’s storied animated television history, it’s also easy to forget. If nothing else it was nice to have Wally back. I do think that helped. As you can probably also tell these road episodes have been wearing on me.. while their not BAD, and some are infact quite excellent, a few like this one, quarallers pass, and the acting and western episodes, are just.. eh. The character flaws they bring up are only one episode and they don’t really felsh out the charcters enough. Even here while it’s nice to get more dimension to wally i’ts not really by much. They just feel fairly stock in a show that while using some stock plots usually can do so creatively. I think that’s the core problem: it’s not that these are TERRIBLE it’s just I expect better form the show in a typical episode, and from the interesting setups the road brings, especially since it DOES deliver on them in other episodes and i’m kinda glad this stretch is finished next week. That being said it does go out on one hell of a note.. 

Wax Museum So after weeks of anticipation, our road trip ends on an episode that was hyped up before the season even began.. a weird move given this is week 5 and i’d of saved the interviews for closer like Disney does with ducktales, but regardless, this one was worth the wait.  First my quick, since I tend to go overboard on my thoughts on shows, thoughts on Gravity Falls: It’s fucking excellent. I stand by calling it one of disney channels best shows and while certaint hings could’ve used more time, like Dipcifica seriously I have no idea why tease that and then do nothing with it when they still had plenty of time left int he series even with Ford. But yeah a few minor quibbles aside the series was really good, left us wanting more which after seeing other shows sputter into flames at the end, hello Star Vs, I can live with. So yeah I was hyped for this one, especially since Amphibia creator Matt Braley not only worked on Gravity Falls but got Gravity Falls creator Alex Hirsch’s blessing.. and of course, Alex being a peach of a guy, just yesterday he proudly cooed over the fact Dana Terrance actually got Disney to have a bisexual lead character after he struggled to get anything remotley LBGTQ into gravity falls. He’s a good guy. And a weirdo but he’s my kind of weirdo. But being so nice, he naturally agreed to return as stan expy the curator and frog soos. While that is all we get, I do get not wanting to shohorn 80 refrences to the show in or get a ton of voice actors to come back for a cameo, nor try and include the twins due to the plot of this episode really not working with them around, thougH I WOULD have appricated frog mcgucket, but eh, you can’t get everything you want.  Said plot is again simple but really intresting: The Plantars stop in a small town and are dead broke, but Anne casually taking off her hood and being reminded she’s seen as a freak ends up as a lucrative buisness opprotunity as naturally small town yokels are fine with gawking. So with the plantars now having actual money to see the sighs Anne settles on the curosity hut, our mystery shack for the evening. The rest of the plantars, especially Polly who sees some eyes move, are utterly unverved byt he place and by it’s owner, the curator, our stan pines.. or stan ponds if you will. I mean if the series has a chuck and other normal names here an there, including Polly, then it’s not a stretch to say his first name stayed the same. Anyways, Stan shows the family around, including Air Mantis, because hell yes and some gnomes and other callbacks to gravity falls.. but I like how theirs only a handful to gravity falls monsters. There’s plenty of refrences but the episode wisely goes more for the FEEL of Gravity Falls: The creepy setting, weirder monsters (even if amphibia dosen’t shy away from weird , last episode had sheep bugs and all), and spooky vibe from the curosity hut all feel like the tone Gravity Falls went for, which is similar enough to amphibia the two mesh well. Plus the curator is basically a SLIGHTLY more evil stan pines... SLIGHTLY., and Braly naturally having worked on the show nails the character in writing while Hirsch steps back into the roll like it was just yesterday. It feels like a love letter to what the show was rather than just “hey remember this cool thing from it”, with still plenty of nice nods here and there. 

Anyways back to the actual plot, the rest of the Plantars decides to leave because this place gives them the creeps as does Stan, but once htey leave Anne finds something: A skipman! Which is a great name for a portable cd player.. seriously I had one of those early in high school, the skipping really was constant hell. If anyone ever complains about mp3s, smack em. I do not miss that era. Have a bit of nostalgia for it sure, but I do not actually MISS it. 

Anyways, yeah this is a big deal and it’s nice that even in the homage to it’s parent show, we get a rather big plot point: something else came from Earth and given Anne dosen’t recognize it as Marcies, though It still could be but I highly doubt it, it didn’t come with the three of them, meaning there were humans BEFORE.. possibly centuries in amphibia time given what we’ve seen so far. After all a great calamity had happened, it somehow invovles the box that brought anne here... no one says time travel can’t be involved. And it’ll raise even more in a minute. But first Stan offers a million coppers for it. not being made of money Anne instead bargins on her weirdness: One day of performance in exchange for the discman. Sounds good Stan. He certainly doesn’t have any evil plans. Wink... he’s telling you he’s winking because one eye’s under an eyepatch. Naturally Stan has less than good intetions and ominously plots to frog soos.. which I absolutley love how they just call him frog soos, who postulates on multiverse theroy because he’s apparently been licking himself agian. Oh that soos... I always knew he was on something. Also while he dosen’t get a high from it I don’t doubt human soos also licks himself for unrelated reasons. 

Anyways the rest of the family are skpetical of Anne meeting stan at night.. which is fair. I wouldn’t want my nieces or nephews, and one of the nephews is around anne’s age, around stan alone for any length of time. I mean he’s fine with his own family but I know i’d find them in a child size armadillo suit having been fed questionable canned meats after having to dance for gawking yokels. Plus stan has resting “Call the police fan” so HOp Pop wants to just discuss it in the morning first before remotley trusting this guy. But anne impulsively decides to just sneak out when their asleep. More on that in a bit.  Naturally trusting the strange man she just met who presumibly traffics ladypugs in this reality and constnatly looks like he wants your wallet goes poorly as Stan traps Anne and plans to incase her in wax like the other exibits. The plantars realize anne is missing and rush in with Polly trying to face her fear and ending up freeing ah orrifying monster “This is way worse’ indeed. Meanwhile Stan is annoying anne who’s praying for the wax to get her in one of the best bits of the episode.. because of COURSE stan would talk inncoently to someone he’s kdinapped while eating canned beef. To me it’s another nice touch: While the caretaker IS more of a villian than stan, for obvious reasons, given he’s put a random person behind glass just for not buying things, dressed his own grandson up in a humilating wolf suit and had soos use a fucking boiler for his employee break room, it’s not a hgue stretch to say a pre-character development, i.e. pre dipper and mabel to convince him to be slightly better, Stan would kidnap a bunch of freaky wax creatures. It’s also why i’m okay Jason Ritter and Krystin Schall didn’t return. Their great and I woul’dve loved to have dipper and mabel back.. but the episode just dosen’t work with them in it even as a cameo, and they could easily show up in a followup later if they choose to bring this character back. Probably not but hey stranger things have happend.  Stan does however reveal something important: He got the discman from newtopia.. where a bunch of OTHER artifacts are. Thankfully before that information becomes useless to Anne, Sprig and Hop Pop show up to the rescue and Stan fights them thinking their cops as he dosen’t want to go back to frog jail. And even once he finds out their not, he still wants a new attraction because this is stan and again, as good as he is by series end, or at least marginally better, I still wouldn’t put it past him to put sentient creatures in wax. This however backfires as once Polly frees the creature above sprig and hop pop free the rest, and the giant throng of monsters drags Stan off, with blood popping up.. though he assures us it’s just wax so he could show up again. Probably not. He also offers htem 10 perecent, and goes up to 11.5 but that’s as far as we go. Goodbye again stan. I’ll miss you buddy. Seriously I absolutley loved the character and even with a shifter copy it was really nice to have him back for an episode.  The family carts Anne off and back at the campsight Anne bemoans not getting the skipman.. luckily Sprig grabbed it on their way out, because h’es a good friend, but Hop Pop and Pollly are annoyed at anne for once again recklesly endangering herself without considering them and forcing them to save her (As polly pefectly puts it I”m tired of facing my fears anne) And that’s why I saved that: this episode deconsturcts anne’s tendency to act before she reallyt hinks or consult anyone else and actually has the family confront her on it, though she does genuinely apologize so hopefully it’ll stick. But yeah now newtopia offers even more promise and anne offers hop pop an accidental laser to the eye vai the skipman to close out the episode.  Final Thoughts: As you can probably tell If reaking loved this one. Instead of just apping gravity falls, as I pointed it out i more felt like a gravity falls episode in miniture, mixed with Amphibia to still feel like it belonged in amphibia, and with Stan back just slightly more evil. Slightly. Alex Hirsch was as always a massive delight and it was a treat to have him back, and it was a really damn good note to close the road trip out on after some middling episodes, toadcatcher excluded. Not much else to say, it was really damn good, easily the seasno’s second best after toadcatcher.  Next Time:  MARCY. KEITH DAVID. Ants? Good times. Until then you can find more disney reviews under the disney tab on my blog including the entire season of amphibia thus far and season 3 of ducktales thus far. Until we meet again, courage. 

[uneq-apol--arts]

The Amulet AU

I think this one is wholly my own. If not, let me know and tell me where to find it! 

Basically: Ford falls under the influence of the mystical amulet and calls Stan for help. Bill doesn't exist so there's no portal but Ford does get stuck in the amulet for thirty years instead. 

-----

So we know Ford wrote about the mystical amulet in Journal 2. Some fics (mostly Reverse Portal and/or Reverse Falls) discuss that the amulet has major negative effects on a person's mind and body. My idea was that instead of hiding the amulet after discovering its uses, Ford instead keeps it locked up in the house somewhere. Over time, the amulet begins to call to him. He gives in. 

In only a couple months, his hair is snow white, his irises are silver and his pupils, slitted. His hands and feet are slowly blackening and spreading up his arms and legs. 

Ford realizes kind of quickly that he's becoming more dangerous and that he seems to be falling apart. In a brief moment of clarity, Ford sends the postcard to Stan. Stan is shaken with what he discovers when he arrives. The two still bicker constantly while also trying to figure out a way to destroy the amulet. Luckily when Ford is under the influence of the amulet, Stan can still hold him down until the influence clears. They work for a long, long time to try and figure out the amulet. As time goes on, Ford gets more and more sick from the effects of their experiments. They tried locking the amulet away but it just broke out. They tried shattering it but it just reformed. 

They're working in the basement lab one night when suddenly Ford just keels over, amulet glowing brightly. Then suddenly, he's gone. All that's left is the amulet lying on the floor.  Instead of opening the Mystery Shack, Stan compiles Ford's designated data into reports and keeps the money coming. 

In 2012 our favourite pair of twins show up. The events play out pretty similarly except Mabel finds the 3rd Journal up in the rafters of the attic and Stan is actually Stan. Fast forward to the end of Northwest Mansion Mystery and Dipper and Mabel come home to find Stan gone. All in all, not that weird so they go to bed. He's still not around when the twins get up or when Wendy and Soos get there (they help Stan around the house sometimes; Soos repairs stuff and watches the twins when Stan's busy, Wendy does the lawn and hauls firewood in). 

They hang out most of the day which isn't very busy. They have an all-for-one water balloon fight. By the end of the day, Soos suggests they all look for clues as to where Stan could've gone. They find the IDs and crap and the book to pull in the bookcase that'll lead into the basement. Stan is indeed in the basement, having drunk himself to sleep. Next to him is the amulet emitting a soft, otherworldly glow. On one of the work desks is the other journals and Dipper does his whole freak-out thing. The blacklight gives pretty much the same world-ending messages. Dipper runs for the amulet and grabs it, waking up Stan. The amulet gets tossed about, eventually landing at Mabel's feet. She picks it up, ready to smash it. She can feel the vibrations of the thing and she glances at it, seeing a miniature face. Mabel looks up at Stan. "I trust you." The amulet heats up in her hand and she has to drop it. Stan screams and lunges to catch it but before he can, white light fills the room. 

In the space where the amulet landed is Ford, curled in on himself. Stan instantly crawls towards him. Ford's hair is just as white, eyes just as silver. The blackening has reached his elbows and knees and his skin is a pale, sickly blue. He's nearly as wrinkled as Stan is and he struggles to move after being trapped for so long. 

The rest of the show goes pretty much the same up until, you guessed it, Weirdmageddon. Ford's darker side eventually takes control, the light side unable to keep it at bay any longer. Ford is who they now must defeat. Except he's just as powerful as Bill now. Ford splits himself in two, Ford and Not-Ford. Ford gets locked in a cage without any kind of magic while Not-Ford floats off, morphing his clothes into that of a king. He also destroys Time-Baby just like Bill. 

Since the zodiac can't be utilized, the zodiac members work together to modify the memory gun. They reinforce it with powerful magical ingredients (leftover unicorn hair among these) and work with the paranormal creatures to infiltrate Not-Ford's castle. Inside the castle they find their lovable nerd caged up, much like in the Fearamid. But, floating around above them is Not-Ford wearing a flamboyant outfit of blue, yellow, white, and black. The zodiac members become banners and Stan and Ford are trapped while Not-Ford holds Mabel and Dipper at his mercy, waiting for the equation from Ford. 

In the end, Ford and Not-Ford both get erased. Not-Ford reforms back into the amulet which they lock away and throw into the ocean later. Ford still looks like he's under the amulet's effect. He also doesn't regain his memories but deep, deep down in the crevices of his mind, the feelings he felt for Stan and the children still linger. Stan is completely heartbroken that so much of his brother is gone but he is glad to be by his side again. Ford as an amulet ruined Stan those thirty years. At least Ford could talk now, even though it's not quite the same. 

[detectivejigsawpines]

Relatively Relativity-part 3 (If you give a grunkle Mabel Juice)

Whoa...that was a crazy weird dream…where am I?

Soos slowly opened his eyes-and screamed again when he saw an unfamiliar, wrinkly old man staring down at him anxiously.

“Aaaaah!  Who are you?!  What do you want?!  Where’s Mr. Pines?!”

The old man sighed, and leaned his chin on his hand.  “This is gonna be a recurring thing, isn’t it?”

Something about that voice...plus the thick lumberjack hat perched on his head that looked a lot like the one Wendy used to wear…

“Wait a sec.”  Soos sat up, realizing that he was on the sofa in his break room (even if he was technically in charge now, he still used it as such).  He narrowed his eyes at the old man.  “...Dipper?”

Dipper smiled at him-and even though he was all gray and wrinkled now, Soos could see his buddy peeking out through his face.  “Yeah, Soos.  It’s me.  There was...a bit of an incident on our hike.”

Before Soos could ask for more details, the door burst open again, and the same kid who’d scared him earlier came tramping in, followed by an old woman in a purple sweater who had to be a newly-old Mabel.

“Is he awake yet?”

“Grunkle Stan!” Dipper scolded, whirling around to glare at him, “I told you to wait until I called you!”

“Yeah, yeah.”  He brushed his curls out of his face, and grinned at Soos shamelessly, showing that he had a tooth missing.  “How d’ya like the new look?”

Soos’s mouth opened and shut a couple of times as he looked over the little guy standing in front of him.  Finally he asked, voice quivering a little, “...Mr. Pines?”

“Uh-huh.  New and improved!”  He put his hands on his hips and puffed out his skinny chest as far as it would go.

The smile was wiped off his face when Soos finally registered the truth that he’d been resisting, but could not be ignored: “You’re adorable now, Mr. Pines!!!!”

Immediately his still-pretty-bushy eyebrows drew together in a scowl.  “Say that again and you’re fired!”

Soos shrank away at once.  Anything but that!

“He’s the boss of the Mystery Shack now, you can’t fire him!” old-Mabel protested.

“I’m the one who gave him the job, so I can so!”

“But you shouldn’t!  Not for this!”

Stan folded his arms and turned away, grumbling.

“Wait a minute.  If you guys have switched ages, does that mean that Other Mr. Pines is ad-” he saw the warning glare in Stan’s eye, and quickly changed words- “a kid now too?”

“Yeah; he’s down in the basement analyzing the thing that made us like this.”  Mabel sat down on the other end of the sofa.  “We were hiking, and saw this really cool flower…”

********

Ford realized fairly quickly some more of the deficiencies of his new body.  For one thing, when he got to the basement he started to put on his lab coat-only to remember after doing so that his arms and legs were both a lot smaller, so very quickly he was swamped in seemingly an avalanche of white.  He tried rolling up the sleeves, and then pinning them up with safety pins, until at last he gave up in frustration and just hung it back on the rack (causing him further annoyance, because while he wasn’t that short, he still had to stand on tiptoe to get it on the right hook).

At least he was still capable of wearing safety goggles, he thought ruefully as he climbed up onto one of his chairs and pulled on a pair of now-absolutely-huge latex gloves.

Then he forgot about his predicament for a while, as he examined the flower.

********

“...so until we figure out what the flower did to us, looks like we’re kinda stuck like this,” Dipper concluded.

Soos nodded thoughtfully.  “Dude.  This is intense.”  Then his eyes widened.  “Wait, if you guys got stuck like this, would that mean that you little dudes-” he glanced at Dipper and Mabel, and then corrected himself- “little old-old but used to be little-dudes would die sooner, cuz you’re like super old now?”

“Hey!” Stan protested.  “We’re not that old!”

“You said you were pushing seventy!” Mabel squeaked, eyes going wide with panic.

Dipper already looked like he was about to start hyperventilating again.

“...I was lying!  I faked it on my driver’s license so I could get lots of senior citizen discounts and stuff!  We’re only, like, fifty-seven!  Almost fifty-eight!”  Stan quickly scurried around until he was between his elderly niblings, and put his arms as far around them as he could reach.  “And either way, there’s no way we’re gonna let you guys get stuck like this, okay?  We’re gonna figure this out, and get you back to normal, and you won’t haveta be stuck in gross old bodies for a long, looong time.”

“Hey!”  Dipper swatted the back of his head; Stan grinned at him shamelessly.

“I’m just tellin’ it like it is, gramps.”

“Being turned into a kid again is making you even more of a twerp than usual,” Dipper scolded, though while wearing a smile as he gave him a playful jab in the ribs, and Mabel dove in from his other side to vigorously noogie him.

********

It was another hour before Ford emerged into the light.  His eyebrows were pinched together, and he was chewing his lip as he stepped into the kitchen-none of those was a good sign.

“What’s the word, Sixer?” Stan asked; he was standing on a chair and making Stancakes, under the belief that having breakfast for lunch would, if nothing else, make everyone feel just a little bit better.

Ford grimaced.  “Well, the good news is that my analysis indicates the pollen is not toxic, and doesn’t seem to be inherently harmful.  The bad news is, I’m having trouble figuring out what they’re made of or what kind of magic is in them that caused us to turn into...this.”  He gestured between the four of them.  “It would be much easier if we could collect a live specimen of the plant-we’ll have to go back to the forest and see if we can find one.”

“Good idea!” Mabel chirped, pulling a pitcher of sparkling pink liquid out of the fridge.

Stan brought the skillet over to the table, and gave his brother an encouraging look.  “C’mon, Sixer!  You’ll think better when you get somethin’ in your gut!”

Ford sighed, and sat down at the table with far less resistance than he usually would have.  “What’s on the menu?”

“Stancakes-”

“And Mabel Juice!”

“Pass on the Mabel Juice,” Dipper muttered, filling his cup with water from the sink.

Mabel scoffed at him.  “Come on, Dipper, you’ve never even tried it!”  She filled her own cup with a generous amount.

“I don’t need to try it to know that it would probably send me into premature cardiac arrest.  Especially now that I’m old.”

Mabel stuck out her tongue at him, and then lifted it to her lips and began gulping it down.

And a few seconds later she spat it out, gagging.

“Ugh!  What’s wrong with this stuff?!”  She grabbed up the pitcher and stared at it, making the plastic dinosaurs turn and spin around in their liquid prison.

Dipper went to her side in concern.  “Are you okay?!”

“Yeah, I just-I don’t understand!  I just made this stuff this morning, it should be fine!  But it tastes all wrong, almost like it’s-”  Mabel froze, and her eyes went wide with the sort of horror that only comes from the realization of impending doom.  “...Too sweet.”

Stan snorted after a second.  “Now ya know how I feel about that stuff.”

Mabel shook her head a tiny bit.  “No, I-I love Mabel Juice!  I can’t not like it anymore, just cuz I’m old!”

Ford leaned over and patted her hand.  “It’s a very normal thing for tastes to change as you age.”

Mabel’s eyes had become very big and shiny, and her lip trembled; Ford realized that maybe the wasn’t the best train of thought to go down.  “...Don’t worry, we’ll figure out how to change you back so you can drink all the Mabel Juice you want.”

She managed a tiny smile.

“Wait a second…”

Stan abruptly grabbed the pitcher, and poured some of the juice into his erstwhile coffee mug.  “If it’s too sweet for you now that you’re old, maybe I can actually like this stuff now!”  He looked at Ford with wiggling eyebrows.  “You wanna try some?”

Ford grimaced.  “No thank you.”

Stan shrugged.  “Eh, just as well.  You probably couldn’t handle it.”

Ford’s eyes narrowed, and he shoved his cup over towards Stan.  “Fill it up, Stanley.”

He knew, and he knew that Stan knew, that he’d walked right into that one, but he didn’t flinch away as it was filled almost to the brim.

“Um, guys?” Dipper said, for the second time that day.  “Maybe this is a bad idea-”

They each took a drink.

********

Five minutes later

“I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO HANDLE THIS MUCH SUGAR SINCE I WAS IN MY TWENTIES!!!!” Stan hollered, tearing across the back yard so fast he was almost a blur.

“THIS STUFF WOULD’VE BEEN GREAT FOR HELPING ME GET THROUGH COLLEGE!  I COULD’VE STAYED UP AND STUDIED EXTRA HARD FOR ALLLLL MY EXAMS!” Ford yelled back, just before trying and failing to turn a cartwheel.  He landed clumsily on his rear, and the two boys nearly fell over laughing at each other.

“I feel like I could run a mile!  Or climb a mountain!  Or run up a mountain!  Has the world always been this colorful?  Am I talking too loud?”

“I don’t know!  I’m really not the best person to ask right now, because I’m under the influence just as much as you are!”

“Not so under it you can’t remember all your nerd vocab, though!”  Stan cackled, and then tilted his head thoughtfully.  “Huh...I shoulda said nerd words, so it’d rhyme.  Okay, do over!  You can still remember all your nerd words!”

From the porch, Dipper shook his head in mute horror.  Mabel, at least, had recovered from her despondency over her new aversion to Mabel Juice enough to record a video of her hyperactive mini-grunkles-who, it appeared, were now wrestling each other in the grass, laughing wildly.

“...We should really focus on going back to the trail and trying to find that flower,” Dipper pointed out.

“Yeah, well, tell that to them.”  Mabel pointed to the boys.  Neither of them seemed to be in any condition to focus on something important like finding an enchanted flower.

Dipper’s shoulders sagged.  “We’re not gonna get this fixed today.”

“That’s not the worst thing in the world, though, is it?”  Mabel smiled.  “It’s been years since they’ve been able to have this much fun together; we should give them a chance to enjoy it.”

“But what if there’s some kind of dangerous side-effects to our being stuck in these bodies for so long?  I don’t wanna be stuck like this all summer!”

“Grunkle Ford said he didn’t think the pollen stuff was dangerous!  Just relax, bro-bro!”  Mabel slung her arm around his shoulders and squeezed.  “They deserve a chance to be kids again, just for a little while!”

Dipper still had misgivings...but he had to admit that seeing Stan and Ford chasing each other around and throwing grass at each other was pretty cute to watch.

Even so, he hoped things could go back to normal (or what passed as normal for the Pines family) soon.

********

I’m in my late twenties, and I don’t think I could handle Mabel Juice.  As much as I like sugary food, there’s a history of diabetes in my family, and that stuff sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

[toooldforfandom-liveblogs]

Gravity Falls S02E18 - Weirdmageddon Part I

I really like that name for the end of the world. I'm not sure what to expect from this one since this is literally new territory for everyone. My one hope is that Mabel gets forgiven easily but there has to be some drama, either for the twins or the Stans (since that relationship really needs some mending, and the end of the world seems to be a good place for that kind of thing.) I think that's all so let's do this!

If this is the first shot of the episode, things are going to get _weird_.

Wait. Wait. What.

Okay, had to go back and check Bill's summoning circle.

I completely forgot about this but I guess he needs all the symbols for something beyond summoning everything weird into this dimension? But why? Uhm.

Anyway, back in Dreamscaperers I wrote:

Glasses = The ones Stan found in the room with the magic carpet? Question Mark = Soos Ice - Fish with food? > Pine = Dipper Star with an eye  Hand = Whoever wrote the journals considering the symbol on their covers? Llama/Alpaca? Shooting star = Mabel Heart with stitches

Fish with food ended up being Stan's fez. I _think_ Heart with Stitches could be Robbie. Hand is obviously Ford. I'm still not sure about Glasses (they really look like Stan's glasses but... how would that work?) and Star (maaaaybe Gideon? The star appears in the ending cypher in S02E14.) The alpaca/llama and the ice are a complete mystery. Considering everyone of importance is in there already, maybe Wendy is one of those two?

Symbols aside, does this mean that Mabel is going to be missing until who knows when? That's a bit disappointing.

Imagine being able to choose any physical form at all and choosing to keep being a dorito.

Before I paused I was convinced this guy was some weird Nigel Thornberry cameo.

So, Bill has 10 friends, which is exactly the number of symbols in the summoning circle. Huh. Interesting.

Maybe it means nothing but their appearance feels so sudden that I feel they have to be important somehow.

Immersion ruined, the Northwests would never lower themselves and go "downtown"

What a trianglist, she had no problems with Mabel.

I imagine Wendy can't wait to go to college a thousand miles away from her family.

Death, Famine, War, Conquest and Capitalism.

That's horrifying. But he's a dick. What a moral dilemma. Nah, he really deserves it.

Why steal Durland? Huh. Maybe he's also one of the symbols? Or Bill is just being Bill.

Oh, oh, I know what they do!

What an intro, I'm 100% sold.

What can our protagonists do? I guess Ford has a plan, maybe the symbols are for unsummoning Bill and that's why he's collecting them so they can't do whatever ritual they need to do. Maybe Ford and Stan will be in a similar situation that made them fight 30 years ago, but this time they actually communicate and win? Mabel is out so I hope they rescue her (or she rescues herself) before too much plot happens.

I _love_ how much of an effect the changed OP had on me.

After watching 37 episodes with the same opening song any changes are immediately noticeable and it feels _wrong_. What a great way to show how everything is changing for the worse thanks to Bill.

It does make me wonder how Gravity Falls is going to recover though. It looks _bad_, bad enough that in any other show I wouldn't be surprised by a time-machine or a literal genie undoing everything bad that happened. I doubt that'll happen here, since the town itself is so used to the "weird" but if someone dies all bets are off.

YESSSS, Dipper doesn't blame her! I'm sure there'll be some self-blame later on but I'm so glad his first reaction was to be worried.

Why is Soos unaffected? Is it related to his presence in the summoning circle? Looking for unaltered people may be a good way to find who are the missing symbols.

Soos deserved more episodes, what a hero

Has there been any positive romantic relationship in Gravity Falls?

Wendy and Dipper was an unrequited mess, Mabel and all her crushes were all disasters of some kind or another, the less said about Wendy and Robbie the better, and Tambry and Robbie is the result of the twins messing with their minds without their consent. Oh, and Gideon and his murderous crush on Mabel.

I love that tiny shiny dodrio.

I didn't need to know that Bill's hat was meat and bones.

What? No! Warnings later, explanations how to defeat a demon now!

This is the first time he calls Dipper by his symbol, right? He also called Ford "six fingers." The writers really wanted everyone on the same page here about making the relation between the symbols and the characters.

...I refuse to believe that the eye piece meant nothing with how much it has been shown!

Weirdmageddon sounds much better.

Wow. He has been wandering around for three days, probably having to scavenge for food and water. These kids are really going to need a therapist after summer break is over.

For some reason I find that guy more disturbing that most of the weirdness in this episode so far. He just sounds very predator-y.

...oh Dipper, those nachos are three days old at best. So young, so ignorant of the consequences of gastroenteritis.

...of course. I'm glad she's okay. She's been shown as a very badass so it would have been a shame if she was down without a fight.

But, but, rabies.

Can't wait for the weirdmaggeddon to be over and then immediately after everyone dying of infectious diseases.

So, how many post-weirdmageddon dipper/wendy fics did this scene inspire?

Robbie is conspicuously missing from that list

nevermind. Would have been an amazing selfie though, can't fault him for that

Aw. This got me a bit teary-eyed. They really can do anything if they are together.

Shame about Mabel being inside Bill's floating lair completely out of their reach.

What a raw deal, last game I played with twins on it they l– actually, never mind, spoilers. But it was really cool, believe me.

It looks like the mission briefing for a stealth game so, in my case, I'd try to avoid the lights, fail miserably a thousand times and then rage quit. Hopefully Dipper is better at stealth.

Making the world weird?

Wouldn't they know what's going to happen? Since there seems to be only one timeline? Actually, nevermind, I'm too sober to analyze the time travel mechanics of gravity falls.

Time Baby was the most powerful entity in the show so far! Stakes have been raised.

RIP Bodacious T, we never go to know you.

Mad Max: Fury Road, 2015

Two months being a villain and he still hasn't learned to avoid monologuing.

Don't worry, Gideon. It took Steven Universe 6 years to grow a neck, you'll get one someday.

Huh. So Bill manipulated him by using his obsession for Mabel. That's a nice way to explain why it came back after so many episodes without mentioning it too much.

Ugh.

She's a genuine action movie heroine trapped in a cartoon

I have no idea how Wendy manages to get more and more badass this season.

Right!? Right!? Wow.

Holy shit, this really is Fury Road.

that's deep, man

Ah, that explains it. Nothing more dangerous than a philosophy major.

Hatoful Boyfriend, 2014

My mind is exploding right now. I wasn't ready for anime Dipper and Wendy. What are the monkey and kid in the backseat referencing?

Lady Gag– nah, I refuse to use the same joke three times in the same liveblog.

* screams in terror too *

What a shame that we couldn't see the birth of the legend of Soos.

I can't believe Dipper is using the "Power of Understanding" to talk Gideon down.

This is really good. I almost want to joke and say "but it wasn't worth the Wendy/Dipper episodes" but it actually does make them work in retrospect. It's probably the largest source of character growth for Dipper during the show and here's the payoff.

I mean, yes.

WHAT

HOW DARE YOU

GAME IS OVER, AND I WON

NOW IT'S TIME TO START THE FUN

I ALWAYS LOVE CORRUPTING LIVES

NOW LET'S SEE WHICH PINES SURVIVES

well, that's nice.

---

I wasn't sure what to expect from this "Part 1", I thought it was going to be mostly setup. And it had a bit of that, just to show how screwed Gravity Falls (the town) is, but after that it was all action and it was all good.

I think getting Ford out of the way early was a good idea, it removes the possibility of a quick solution. Now Dipper has to figure things on his own. He still needed Wendy to remind him of what he and Mabel are capable of but that's a friend offering help, not "the mentor" giving him the answer to the problem. On the other hand, while Stan hasn't appeared after the goat, he hasn't been captured yet (he's important enough to deserve an on-screen capture, unless it's going to be revealed as a demoralizing surprise?) so I think he'll appear soon since he's just a guy, without any special knowledge about Bill.

Soos really deserves his own show. "The Legend of Soos" Or give Wendy her own show with Soos as the mysterious stranger that appears from time to time to help. Because wow, Wendy is lost in this show, she should be the protagonist of something.

But the star of the show was Dipper talking Gideon down. I _really_ didn't expect that. This is not a show where the protagonists defeat their villains by talking to them (with some exceptions) so I thought they'd defeat him in some other, more violent, way. And the way he uses the "Power of Understanding" to do it (go read Scott Pilgrim)! While Dipper never got to that extreme, he "gets" it and that's just * chef kiss *

I can't wait for the next episode, especially because this one ended in a cliffhanger, so until next time!

[doodling-dood]

I haven’t written a fic or anything, but I have an idea dump and some old art lying around.  This is my most recent Angel Falls artwork.  (I’ll upload the rest when Tumblr stops being stupid.)

Click the Read More for the idea dump, AKA the cleaned-up and expanded version of a string of texts I sent to my girlfriend.  Spamming her is an integral part of my creative process.

Ford and Stan live at the Mystery shack together as loving brothers, and Stan runs the tourist trap to fund Ford’s research.  Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.

Angel Dipper visits Gravity Falls to investigate a tree with magical properties.  He’s 200 feet in the air when he finds out that the tree can nullify/weaken his powers.  Stan finds him and Angel Mabel trying to get him untangled from the tree.

Stan doesn’t believe they’re actually angels, but Mabel talks him into helping them anyway.  He brings them to the Shack to patch up Dipper. They hit it off.  Dipper finds one of Ford’s journals and spends hours with it.  Mabel discovers the wonders of human knick-knacks.  Stan is so not attached.

The twins explain that they wanna stay in Gravity Falls but they’re not full-fledged angels yet so they would need a hideout or guardians or something.  Stan agrees to house his totally-human, not angels-in-disguise nephew and niece as long as they pull their weight. But if Ford comes back and says the twins are harpies after all, Stan will boot their butts halfway across the planet.

Ford comes back a few days later like “Wait Stan, what do you mean we have a nephew and niece? What angels?  Angels don’t exist—holy shit those are real wings.  Is this a new species?  No Stan, harpies have a different skeletal structure and OMG WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS ONE LIKES DDnD WHERE’S MY ILLEGAL 20-SIDED DIE”

Dipper is just happy to meet the author. He’s become a fanboy in less than a week. Of course the twins have become besties with Soos and Wendy by now too, so they’re all a big happy family.  Cue giant triangular wrench in the middle of everything.

Dipper does lots of expeditions and stuff, but he can’t join Ford out of town without Mabel.  (Humans can’t help if any angel-specific issues happen, so the twins are careful to stick together just in case.) Dip inevitably runs into Bill during a solo expedition around town. Dipper thinks Bill is human, albeit really weird. Bill is also pretty knowledgeable about lots of things, and Dip starts to like having him around while he explores.

He tries not to freak out when Bill calls him an angel, because that’s just a thing people say sometimes. (Stan averted that crisis already, thank you very much.) But whoops, turns out Bill means it literally. Dipper is like “omg how did you find out” and Bill says angels have visited Gravity Falls before, and Dipper isn’t very worldly yet so he stands out.

Bill introduces Dipper to all kinds of new stuff (pranking manotaurs, different foods, gay make-outs. The works.)  They get pretty close, even though Bill kinda avoids the Shack and Ford.

Then one day Dipper finds a brown feather on his wings. He freaks because he’s heard stories about angels falling and becoming demons with jet black wings, and he can’t figure out where he screwed up or what to tell Mabel. So he keeps it to himself and hopes it goes away.

Bill gets Dipper to confess what’s bothering him.  When Dipper shows him his wings, Bill gets oddly quiet, but humans get that way about angel wings so Dipper doesn’t question it.  Also Bill gives great wing rubs.  Dipper is very distracted.

Still, Dipper keeps finding brown feathers, and the best option is to go back to heaven and repent for whatever tainted him. He doesn’t want to leave though, and if he tells Mabel they need to go back then she’ll want to know why. Mabel and the Stans can tell he’s edgy but Dip brushes it off. Bill finds him by himself stressing out. Dip shows Bill his wings and they’re almost totally brown.

Bill is like “wow you progressed pretty fast” “Wtf you KNEW this would happen?”

And surprise, it’s a symptom of free thought. Dipper has done some critical thinking about the way heaven is run, and once an idea gets in your head you can’t un-think it.  Dipper freaks out because he can’t turn into a demon, demons are hideous and do unspeakable things and they EAT angels!

And Bill is all “Oh come on, do I look like I’m gonna take a bite out of you?” “You’re a demon?” “Did I not mention that?”

Dipper does the logical thing and runs away. He tries to fly back to heaven for an emergency visit, but he can’t get through the portal thing.  It’s like a glass ceiling.  He hits it and falls back into a bunch of trees.

He keeps trying until he’s a scruffy mess. He would do it again but Bill stops him before he seriously hurts himself.  Dipper doesn’t want anything to do with Bill, and if he doesn’t get back up there, he’s going to turn into a freaking monster, so he tries to fly away again.

Bill tells Dip he’s not gonna turn into a demon, but Dipper doesn’t believe him. So Bill brings out HIS wings and wraps them up in them before Dipper can get off the ground.  And dipper stops because wait, bill’s wings are entirely gold, not black.

They’re not much good for flying since they’re made out of metal. So yeah bill is grounded but it’s not about being tainted or whatever. He’s self-serving and materialistic, so his wings look like king midas got to them.

Dipper’s wings turn dark like soil, since he’s learning and growing from his experiences on earth. But Dipper can still fly, so he’s a fallen angel, not a demon. He still can’t go home though, and he wants to keep trying even though it won’t work, so Bill clips his wings to stop him from flying too high and hurting himself.

That’s as far as I got.  So, uh, enjoy the unresolved plot.

[quarantine-au]

Hurt and Trapped Chapt 6

Hiya https://archiveofourown.org/works/23729677/chapters/57408421  :p

——

It was dark and late, and if it hadn’t been for the flashlight in the emergency supplies, Ford probably couldn’t have gotten home the same night. Frankly, Ford was happy enough to get out of there fast… 

  Seeing two monsters both taking his nephew’s image was something he’d rather see as little as possible.

  Going back was something he’d obviously have to do, if just for the demon, of course. Its power was something he’d have to study, if he had it in him, that is. Being involved with Weirdmageddon could wildly vary its power, ranging from a simple three eyed bird to rival Bill himself. With that kind of uncertainty, runes and wards had been a must. Keeping the monster in the cryotubes had been tempting, at first, but putting in actual thought into the idea had proven it to just be a lazy and destructive idea. What if the demon had the power to escape? The havoc it could wreck could be catastrophic! So, as tempting as the cryotubes had been, as tempting as it would’ve been to just leave the whole situation alone and be done with it, keeping it around with wards seemed to be the best option.  

  Ford would be eternally grateful towards the Oracle for showing him the wards and runes, maybe one day he’d be able to repay her.

  Shaking his head, Ford navigated his way through the forest, looking for the Shack. Tiredly walking through the dense and dark forest with only a flashlight illuminating its light across the forest, Ford found the Shack, his old cabin. It’ll be nice to have the place back when the summer is done. He’d be able to finally relax, he could even maybe try to find Fiddleford again. That’d be pleasant.

  Walking to the aged cabin, Ford slowly opened the door to avoid creaking, judging from the sky, his niece is very likely to be asleep already. Hopefully Stanley would just leave him alone or be asleep already so he could just go into the basement and try to find a way to move the demon in there. Come to think of it, things would be easier that way, no Shifty, no going back and forth, and an easier way to keep his eye on the thing. Yes! He’d just set up the lab to be a holding chamber! Or maybe that could be the second level, and the basement could be utilized for experimentation! It’d be empty and unused once he got rid of the portal pieces. Maybe he’d get it to show its true form.

  Maybe he could get it to show him where his nephew was.

   What a comforting thought.

  ——

Poindexter shoulda been back by now.

  It was getting dark, and while Stan knew that Ford could more than take care of himself, he couldn’t help but worry, how could he not? 

  He could only wish Dipper was with him, that Ford found him and was bringing him home. That Ford was only taking forever because he was helping Dipper from whatever the hell kinda situation the kids always got in. 

  He really just hoped Sixer came home with the kid in his arms unharmed.

  The whole day was spent lookin for him, Soos and Wendy promised to join in the search tomorrow, wanting to catch up with their families. They deserved the break. 

  Everyone had just lived through Hell, even if his family was still going through it.

  What was he going to tell the kid’s family?

  Christ, what was he going to tell them? He’d either have to lie or tell the truth, each option having their own set of repercussions. Lying would mean having to deal with cover stories and what those would bring, telling the truth could go a number of ways, most being bad. What were the chances Mark and Anna would believe him? Maybe if they showed Ford to them, or the basement? Maybe even the forest-y junk would work. 

  Stan sighed, looking down into the cup of coffee he was drinking, taking comfort in his yellow chair.

  Old, drained eyes stared back.

  He swirled the cup around, distorting his image in the brown liquid.

  He heard the door open and snapped his head towards the small noise. 

  “Ford, ya back already?”

  His twin froze, sighing inwardly. “What is it-”

  “Why ya home so late, Poindexter?” Stan asked rather briskly.

  “Why wouldn’t I be late? Dipper’s been missing.”

  “We agreed to be home by nine, idiot”

  “I know the time we agreed to be home by. I just…I got caught up”

  Stan glanced up to his TV, then back to his brother standing by the doorway. 

  “Your lucky Mabel’s been too distracted to be worried” He hissed.

  Ford could only sigh, “Is that all?”

  He had better things to do than bicker with Stan, dammit!

  “We’re going looking tomorrow too, Mabel will be with whoever she feels comfortable with,” Giving his brother a defeated, yet accusatory look, he continued, “You can go hide in the basement now”

  Ford could only stare incredulously at his former best friend.

  —–

  Racing through the woods, flashlight in hands, was Mabel Pines.

  She wanted to get as far away from the Shack as possible, what could be even better was going somewhere near where the Fearamid had previously been. 

  Where it had all taken place.

  Dwelling on it wouldn’t help. Just find the area and start searching again. Find Dipper where he was probably lying cold on the grassy floor and hug him to oblivion. Soon as he woke up she’d drag him home and everything would be better again. Just like it was meant to be.

  God knows how much she couldn’t wait for that. 

  The Fearmid had been over the forest right? A bit away from the town? She didn’t need the exact location, just the area. She could just search the area. 

  Arriving in what she believed to be the right area, the young girl slowed down, taking time to digest her location. It was odd, being out here so late at night. It was just something she didn’t put under her liberal term of the word “safe”. It really wasn’t if any of Dipper’s nerd junk was to be true. And looking from her window, in her comfy, warm room, she wouldn’t doubt it for a second, despite the forest’s obvious beauty. She couldn’t deny it was nice out though, the ending Summer leading to chiller Fall made it a sight to envy. The silent ambiance disturbed only by the sounds of crickets chirping. It made her both content and uneasy, somehow.

  She started to search through the late night and early morning.

  She barely noticed as the minutes turned to hours.

  Her tired mind unnoticing of the early dawn that those hours delivered to her.

  Why would she?

  The lone dirty PineTree hat sitting on the healthy grass kept distracting her.

 —–

Thanks for reading :D

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 73

Eyyyyyyy look at me finishing a chapter on Thanksgiving. Because of course I would. Either way this one is hella cute and filled with all them good Dipifica vibes i won’t shut up about, also god bless its finally canon. Anyway I’ll stop spoiling the chapter and let you at it. Enjoy!

Previous: https://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/188894376744/universe-falls-chapter-72

***

Chapter 73: Mismatched Making

ZPB PSLOD AEYM XASNQ, WAS FWHYH YDVX KXMFFIU D SBRJTR FQZOE, T WPIYY, WCRW WEQKR PSLOD UI WPR GLZQG MS SIFF XYH TXWW BB YIRG TAIVM UREIWS MS WZHR VFPAGGH?

For the past several weeks, the Crystal Temple had sat still and silent, its usual inhabitants having taken up shop at the barn out in the countryside to finish their progress on the drill. Likewise, the Mystery Shack was also rather silent, for while Stan had more or less remained there to maintain the gift shop and the museum while the rest of his family was away, for the past day or so he had been absent, a large closed sign hanging from the door all the while. However, that peaceful quiet all but came to an end as the conman’s car pulled up in front of the shack to let out the far too many passengers that had piled into it for the trip back. 

“We’re home!” Steven exclaimed brightly, bursting out of the vehicle first with both Dipper and Mabel not too far behind. 

“Oh, it’s been so long!” Mabel proclaimed dramatically, hopping up onto the shack’s porch to hug one of its support beams. “I almost forgot what this old place looked like!”

“Mabel, we’ve only been gone a few weeks,” Dipper chuckled, amused. 

“A few weeks too many!” Steven chimed in, already running towards the hill that led up to the temple. The Gems followed after him, ready to finally settle back in themselves, something they readily started doing the moment the young Gem first burst back in through the front door. “Hello, house!” he greeted blithely, running inside. 

The Gems all chuckled amongst themselves as they watched their young ward run about, refamiliarizing himself with his cozy home. “Hello, bed!” Steven grinned, flopping onto said bed as he switched his television on. “Hello, TV! We’ve got some catching up to do. Hello, kitchen!” he continued, rushing back downstairs to throw the fridge open. “Hello, food--augh!” The young Gem quickly stumbled back, rushing to cover his nose to avoid the overwhelmingly foul stench coming from the fridge. 

“Uh oh, did that cake go bad?” Amethyst asked, taking a peek inside at the rotten assortment of food. 

“That was a cake?!” Steven gawked in disbelief before he quickly picked himself up off the ground to head towards the door. 

“Steven, where are you going?” Pearl asked curiously. “I thought you were all excited about being back home.”

“And I am!” Steven grinned. “But now that I’ve gotten ‘re-acquainted’ with home, I’ve gotta do the same with the Mystery Shack! And with Dipper and Mabel and Mr. Pines and Mr. Ford!”

“Dude, we literally just saw them like… 5 minutes ago,” Amethyst pointed out, deadpan. 

“And I miss them already!” the young Gem heaved a heavy sigh, leaning against the door. “See you guys later!”

As Steven set out to head back down to the shack, the Pines family was just stepping inside, all eager to pick up their usual flow of activity where they’d left off. “Ah, finally,” Ford sighed rather contentedly as he made a beeline to the basement stairs. “Back to my real lab again. Even if we did manage to build a functional, earth-piercing drill there, working out of a barn is… less than ideal when it comes to in-depth, tactile scientific research. Also, I miss my favorite reading chair. And my favorite coffee maker, unlike the one at the barn that Peridot broke. Twice...”

“Heh, yeah, that’s right, sixer, head on back down to your ‘nerd cave’,” Stan called as the author began to trudge down to the basement. “Meanwhile, I’ve got real work to do. Like marking up all these prices!” The conman quickly began doing just that, working his way through the gift shop to raise the tabs on just about everything. “Shack’s been closed for two days now; I’ve gotta make up for all those lost profits somehow! Though… I guess I could always cut Soos and Wendy’s pay again… hm…”

While Stan pondered over this plan, Dipper and Mabel eagerly ran past him to head back up their usual space in the attic, ready to make themselves comfortable within it once more. “Yeeeesssss!” Mabel cheered as she burst through the door first. “Bed!” she happily jumped onto her bed, high fiving each of her colorful posters along the wall and ceiling as she did. “Posters!” As she flopped down onto her stomach, she didn’t hesitate to wrap her nearby pet pig up in a tight, affectionate hug, glad to see him again after all the time they’d been apart. “Waddles! Ah, it’s so great to be back! Dontcha think so, bro-bro?”

“I gotta admit, I do,” Dipper grinned as he much more calmly reclined on his bed. “Especially since we don’t really have anything to worry about for the change. The Cluster’s under control, Lapis is finally free from being Malachite and her and Peridot are ok with living together. Even that group of Rubies is out of our hair with no problems at all. For once, it looks like everything is finally gonna be ok.”

“You can say that again!” Steven chimed in as he entered the attic blithely. “We’ve been through a lot of really tough, dangerous stuff this summer. But now that it’s all over, we can spend the rest of our summer just hanging out and having fun!”

“Yeah! Like all those kids in those wacky summer comedies!” Mabel exclaimed excitedly. 

“I love those kinds of movies!” the young Gem quipped brightly. 

“So do I!” 

“Heh, well while you guys are off having your ‘wacky summer comedy’,” Dipper chuckled as he leaned back on his his bed again. “I’m gonna use this as much-needed chance to hang back and relax.”

“You? ‘Relax’?” Mabel scoffed. “Pfft, I don’t believe it. Just watch, Steven, it’ll be no time at all before he’s out and about with one of the journals, hunting down some monster or mystery or something, just like he always does.”

“Oh, come on, Mabel, I’m not that predictable,” Dipper protested, sitting up. “Sure I like a good mystery hunt every now and then, but after dealing with so many of them this summer, I… kinda wouldn’t mind a change of pace. Maybe I’ll try my hand at hunting down something else for a change.”

“Oh yeah?” Mabel asked with a challenging smirk. “Like what?”

“Like…” Dipper trailed off, admittedly unsure of what to say. After all, he’d spent so much time lately embroiled in one mystery, one fight, one disaster after another. So much time spent struggling in the loudest of moments to win the quiet moments like these. And now that they finally had these quiet moments, admittedly, he really had no idea what to do with them. 

Fortunately, he didn’t have to supply an answer to his sister’s question as the shack’s doorbell abruptly rang out. “Well, right now, I guess I’m hunting down the door,” he said succinctly, slipping out of the conversation to answer it. 

“Wait… how can you hunt down a door…?” Steven wondered, confused, though all the same, him and Mabel followed along after Dipper to see who had arrived. The initial speculation on all sides was that it was probably the Gems, though it was a bit odd for them to not just enter without knocking or ringing as they usually did. Though who was actually at the door was just about the very last person any of the kids could have expected, even from the moment Dipper first swung it open. 

“P-Pacifica!?” Dipper exclaimed, absolutely baffled to see the heiress standing in front of him. Even more bewildering was the fact that, unlike the last time she had ventured out to the shack to seek his help, this time, Pacifica hadn’t come in any sort of heavy coat or concealing disguise. Rather, she was in her usual fashionable attire, her expression pensive and her hands held tightly behind her back before she greeted him back with a somewhat awkward wave. 

“O-oh! Uh, h-hey, Dipper,” she said, smiling rather tightly. “Looks like you’re back--finally. N-not that I haven’t been hanging out around here waiting for you to get back ever since that day we spent at the mines, b-because that would be weird, obviously, but… um… what was I talking about again?”

“I… honestly have no idea,” Dipper frowned, confused before breaking into a small, cordial smile. “But anyway, hi, Pacifica. What brings you all the way out here-”

“Pacifica!” Mabel suddenly interrupted, pushing her brother aside to brightly greet the heiress. “Hi! How are you?! Did you come out here to invite all of us to another super glitzy, glamorous party? Because if you are, we are so on board, the last one was so fun! 

“Yeah, it was!” Steven interjected just as cheerfully. “Ya know, aside from the vengeful ghost and crazy Gem mutants. But that’s the sort of stuff we deal with all the time, so I guess it was nothing too out of the ordinary.”

“Oh… you guys are here too…” Pacifica’s smile fell as she looked between Steven and Mabel. “Great…”

“Uh, so…” Dipper cut in, squeezing his way back into the conversation between the pair. “Like I was trying to ask before, what’s up, Pacifica? You need some help busting another ghost or dealing with a pack of angry, city-slick dwarves?” 

The heiress couldn’t help but let out something of a small laugh at this, one that Dipper slightly joined in on, not noticing as Steven, and Mabel in particular, watched the exchange curiously. “No, nothing like that,” Pacifica smirked. “I was just… um… w-well, you remember how you said after your how drill thing was over, we’d… uh… h-hang out?”

“Yeah…?” Dipper nodded, raising an eyebrow before he realized Pacifica’s intention in coming all this way to see him. “Oh, wait, you mean right now?”

“Uh… I mean, if you wanna?” she shrugged apprehensively. “I-if you’re busy though, I-I totally get it. I can always come back some other time.”

“I mean, we did only get back from the barn for weeks on end just a few minutes ago…” Dipper noted with an earnest frown. “But…”

“But he’s totally free and he would totally love to hang out with you!” Mabel sharply interrupted, excitedly pushing her brother out the door a bit. “Wouldn’t you, Dipper?”

“Uh… well…” Dipper hesitated for a moment before meeting Pacifica’s hopeful expression. She offered him a small, almost demure smile, one that carried none of the cold haughtiness she often used to front, but instead, it was completely honest, completely genuine. And if there was something that Dipper knew well from experience, it was that Pacifica was always at her very best when she was at her most genuine. “You know what? Sure, why not. It’ll be fun.”

“R-really?” Pacifica asked, quite surprised to hear this as her cheeks flushed the slightest pink. 

“Yes, really!” Mabel exclaimed as she pushed Dipper out towards Pacifica even more, urging the pair off. “Now, go on, get outta here, you crazy kids! Go out and make some memories!”

“Yeah, and have fun!” Steven called after the two as they exchanged a somewhat startled glance, though ultimately decided to head off together towards town all the same. Leaving a very satisfied and a somewhat confused Steven behind. “Huh… that’s… kinda weird,” the young Gem noted. “I wonder when Dipper and Pacifica became such good friends.”

“Friends?” Mabel scoffed. “Steven, please. Those two aren’t just friends. They’re absolutely, 100%, head over heels in love with each other!”

“Whaaaaat?!” Steven exclaimed, dumbfounded. “But… how can you tell?”

“Just look at them!” Mabel motioned towards the pair as they headed off down the forest trail. They lingered noticeably close beside each other as they casually conversed and caught up, sharing the occasional warm laugh along the way. “The rich, elegant heiress with a hidden heart of gold; the awkward, nerdy bookworm who’s looking for something more in his life. Its like something out of a fairy tale, a true, forbidden romance, just like Romeo and Juliet! Though hopefully with a lot less dying involved…”

“Eh, I don’t know, Mabel…” Steven frowned, crossing his arms. “I’m pretty sure Dipper and Pacifica are just friends.”

“Oh sure they are now,” Mabel said with a flippant wave of her hand. “But the sparks of something deeper are there, for sure. And if you don’t take it from me, then why don’t we just go see for ourselves.”

“What do you mean?” the young Gem asked, confused. 

“I mean,” Mabel put on a wry, daring smirk as she wrapped an arm around Steven’s shoulder and nodded off to the path Dipper and Pacifica had just taken. “You and me going undercover, Steven. For the sake... of LOVE!”

***

Neither Dipper nor Pacifica had any particular plans in mind as they ventured into town together to spend the afternoon. After all, Gravity Falls was a rather small town with not too much to offer in the way of man-made attractions, but even so, they decided to make do with what they had. Though as they first set out on the town, Pacifica did make it a point to make herself rather scarce, doing everything she could to conceal both herself and Dipper from anyone who so much as looked like they had a camera at the ready. It was a strange, sort of anxious behavior, one that Dipper quickly picked up on, especially as the heiress pulled them both into another alley for what seemed like the fifth time in the past hour. 

“Uh… Pacifica?” he asked as she peeked around the corner to make sure the coast was clear. “What are you doing?”

“Huh?” Pacifica turned back to him, startled before throwing on a forced, casual grin. “Oh, uh, n-nothing! Just, uh… hanging out in a dark alley, like all you middle class people do!”

“Uh, I hate to break it to you, Pacifica, but most middle class people don’t do that,” Dipper pointed out, somewhat amused until his smile faded somewhat. “You know, if you’re embarrassed to be hanging out with me, you can just admit it. At least then we won’t have to keep ducking in and out of alleyways every five minutes.”

“Embara--what? No!” the heiress quickly shook her head, flustered. “I’m not embarrassed by you. It’s just…” She hesitated, glancing away in anxious shame, almost as if she was afraid to tell him the truth. Though as she met his patient, expectant expression once more, she ultimately folded and decided to do just that. “I’ve never… ‘hung out’ with anyone before. Heck, I’ve never even had any real friends before, just fake ones that my parents hand picked for me, This sort of thing is all new to me and I’m just… scared, I guess, that I might mess it up. Or even worse, that my parents might find out and keep us from hanging out anymore. I mean, no offense, but… you’re not exactly their… favorite person…”

“Gee, I wonder why,” Dipper remarked with a bit of a sardonic grin, though his manner turned serious as he placed a consoling hand on Paifica’s shoulder. “But… if you really are worried about word getting back to your parents, then… I think I know somewhere we can go where nobody will be around to snitch on us.

For a moment, the most Pacifica could do was look to him, surprised and bewildered that he was willing to accommodate her so easily, all for the sake of making her feel more comfortable. But in the end, she smiled, warmly, almost daringly accepting the hand he was holding out to her to let him take her away to wherever he might lead. And that’s exactly what he did. 

Though just as the pair slipped out of the alley as discreetly as they could, the lid of the dumpster tucked away within it suddenly flipped open. And out of it, both Steven and Mabel popped up, their ‘undercover’ mission steadily underway. 

“Aha! See, Steven?” Mabel asked with an eager grin. “Just like I said, it’s forbidden love! And what’s better yet is they aren’t even about to let that stop them, they’re sneaking off to go hang out together alone anyway! Augh, it's so beautiful and so romantic I could cry! Speaking of which, you brought that box of tissues, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Steven nodded, handing said tissues off to her. “But… I don’t know… I still think they’re hanging out just as friends, Mabel.”

“But Dipper took her hand, Steven!” Mabel protested. “He took her hand! That’s always how it starts, and then it builds and builds from there until they’re in smooch city! Believe me, I’ve read enough $5 romance novels from the grocery store to know all about these sorts of things.”

“Hm… well, you do seem like an expert when it comes to love,” Steven noted. “I mean, you’ve been in plenty of relationships yourself, right?”

“You bet I have!” Mabel grinned proudly. “Like the time I… uh, actually, let’s not count when I dated all those gnomes. Ew, or Gideon either… Mermando was nice, but… he was the one that got away… and ugh, and let’s not even bring up Gabe. And not to mention my massive crush on youuuuuuu-” She trailed off, her eyes wide  as she looked to Steven, realizing what she had practically just let slip until she found a rather sloppy way to recover from it. “Y-your sandals! T-they’re so… pink and cute a-and… I love them!”

“Um… thanks?” the young Gem raised a confused eyebrow at this, though thankfully, he didn’t seem to suspect anything else of it, much to Mabel’s immense relief. “So, you think maybe we should just let Dipper and Pacifica hang out without us spying on them from afar to see if they’re in love?”

“Are you kidding? Of course, I don’t!” Mabel exclaimed, more than ready to change the subject. “We’ve barely even scratched the surface when it comes to those two adorable lovebirds! Now come on!” She boldly pointed in the direction Dipper and Pacifica had went, ever curious to see just where their unplanned day might take them next. Or ideally, how that day might end up bringing them closer together. “We’ve got ourselves a romance to watch blossom!”

***

True to his word, Dipper wasted no time in leading Pacifica not only out of town, but away from prying eyes that might carry word of her rather rebellious activities back to her parents. Instead, he took her back towards the forest, heading out past the temple and the shack and out into the open woods before venturing off the beaten path entirely. Pacifica was rather hesitant as she watched him do so, unsure if she should follow after him as she stared into the light-speckled shadows deep within the vast labyrinth of trees ahead. 

“Uh… are you sure about this?” she asked, frowning at the untamed shrubbery he expected her to head after him into. 

“What?” Dipper asked with something of a challenging grin. “You wanted to make you weren’t caught hanging out with me, right? Well, nobody’s gonna catch us all the way out here, I can guarantee that.”

“Well, yeah, but…” Pacifica paused, frowning down at her outfit, one that was quite ill-suited for traversing the wilds of the woods. “It’s like, super gross and dirty out there…” She caught herself, however, upon looking back to Dipper, who could only really raise a critical eyebrow at such a shallow concern. “A-and isn’t it also sort of dangerous too?” the heiress recanted, coming up with a much better excuse. “What if we run into a bear or a rabid chipmunk or something? Why don’t you have that weird magic sword of yours, just in case?”

“First of all, the Sword of Seasons wasn’t magic, it was technology,” Dipper pointed out before his tone turned slightly embarrassed. “And uh… I sort of… dropped it into the lake on accident. It’s a long story, but don’t worry. We won’t need it anyway.”

“Oh yeah?” Pacifica crossed her arms. “And how do you know that?”

“Because,” Dipper pulled back a few branches leading into an obscured clearing deeper into the woods. “What we’re looking for is right here.”

“It’s… a mailbox?” Pacifica frowned, absolutely confused as she joined Dipper in walking towards it. Sure enough, it was a simple, unextraordinary mailbox, resting alone and rather mismatched against the forest that surrounded it. “Ok, I’m lost,” the heiress shook her head. “You really dragged me all the way out here to the middle of nowhere to look at a boring old mailbox. Is this really what people do when they hang out? Or is this just some weird nerd thing of yours?”

“Oh, this isn’t just any ordinary, boring old mailbox,” Dipper corrected with a knowing smirk. “Its magical. I… think. To be honest, I’m still not actually sure about how it works but trust me, its weird.”

“A magical mailbox?” Pacifica chuckled incredulously. “You know, Pines, I knew you were into some strange, kinda dumb stuff, but this is a little out there, even for you.”

“No, it really works!” Dipper protested insistently as he reached into his backpack to pull out a notebook and a pen. “Watch this.” 

The heiress did so, observing as he wrote a simple greeting of ‘hello’ onto a page before ripping it out of the book and slipping it inside the mailbox. For a moment, nothing really happened at all, that is until the mailbox’s flag suddenly flipped upward entirely on its own accord. “W-what?” Pacifica balked, taken aback by this, though Dipper simply offered her a coy grin as he opened the mailbox and pulled an entirely new slip of paper out of it.

“Out there, huh?” his smirk widened as he showed her the page, which unexplainably read ‘Hello, Dipper and Pacifica,” as plain as day.

“H-how did you do that?!” Pacifica demanded, taking the page and looking over it in disbelief. She was quick to turn back to the mailbox itself, peeking inside to see if there was any hidden chamber or compartment inside. “Is this some sort of weird prank or something?!”

“No, its not,” Dipper laughed, thoroughly amused. “Amethyst and Garnet told me about this mailbox that can answer basically any question, so me and Soos came out here to see if it actually existed a few weeks back. And it turns out, it’s totally the real deal. It knows pretty much everything”

“Hmph, I don’t buy it,” the heiress scoffed.

“Then why don’t you try it out for yourself,” Dipper offered his pen and paper to her, which she readily snatched to pose the mailbox a question. 

“Alright, ‘magic mailbox’,” she snarked as she scribbled her question down before tossing it into the box. “If you’re so ‘all-knowing’, then what did I have for breakfast this morning?”

The mailbox was quick to come up with a response, its flag tipping upward once more just before Pacifica quickly retrieved her answer and read it aloud. “Strawberry crepes suzette with quiche lorraine and imported no-pulp orange juice’?! How does it know that?!”

“Like I said, I have no idea,” Dipper shrugged. “You can ask it anything and it just knows somehow! Isn’t it cool?”

“...Anything, huh?” Pacifica mused thoughtfully, tapping the pen against the paper for a moment as she looked between the mailbox and Dipper. And then, she tipped the notebook up a bit, scribbling another quick question onto it and making sure to keep it out of Dipper’s sight all the while. 

“What are you writing?” he asked, intrigued as he tried to peer over the top of the notebook and see. 

“Nothing!” Pacifica lightly pushed him away, letting out a small, somewhat flustered laugh as she did. “I-I just wanna know something really dumb.”

“Oh yeah, like what?” 

“Like nothing,” she insisted, beating him to the mailbox as she shoved her question inside. Sure enough, it delivered another answer, one that only came in the form of a simple ‘yes’. The heiress was unable to hold back a small, delighted gasp as she read it, one that only made Dipper all the more curious to know what she had asked. 

“Come on, seriously, what did you ask?” he pressed with a wry smile as he began to follow her out of the clearing. 

“It doesn’t matter,” she grinned with a playful wave of her hand.

“Well you sure seem happy about it, so yeah, I think it kinda does.”

“Oh, mind your own business!” she shoved him once more, though this time, he lightly shoved her back, eliciting a shared, bright laugh from them both as they continued back into the woods from whence they came. 

As soon as they’d left, however, Steven and Mabel emerged from their own hiding spot beyond the other side of the clearing, both of them still intent on spying on the pair’s adventures from afar. “Playful pushing? Him showing her magicy stuff? Her getting all excited over a question she wouldn’t let him see?” Mabel listed, growing steadily more excited as she did. “It’s all too good to be true!”

“It is?” Steven asked. “How?”

“Don’t you see, Steven?” Mabel replied, stars practically brimming in her eyes as she hopped up and down on the balls of her feet. “Those are all classic slow burn romance tropes! The evidence just keeps stacking up. And I have a feeling that they’re nowhere close to finished yet!”

***

And sure enough, they weren’t. For as the next day arrived, Pacifica showed up at the Mystery Shack, this time on Dipper’s invitation for them to hang out once again. Just like the day prior, the pair set out into the forest rather than into town, and just as before, Steven and Mabel followed after them, watching from the shadows as they spent more time together. 

“And then we found the Gems’ lost memories about Great Uncle Ford and the portal, but that’s a whole other long story that leads into several more long stories,” Dipper recounted as he led the way through the forest and across a small stream. 

“Wait, let me see if I can get this all straight,” Pacifica interjected, holding her hands up. “So your great uncle actually has a twin brother who was trapped in another dimension for the past 30 years. And the whole time, your uncle was trying to bring that brother back using this huge portal that was secretly under the Mystery Shack the entire time but no one knew about it?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Dipper nodded. 

“And the Gems factor into all this… how?”

“They sort of… don’t for a pretty long time. Like I said before, they lost their memories about all of this thanks to their leader, Rose, erasing them after they were possessed by…” Dipper trailed off, his expression darkening at the mere thought of the dream demon. “Y-you know what? N-never mind that right now.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Pacifica sighed, relieved. “I feel like my brain’s about to burst from everything you’ve been telling me. Your life is like some crazy movie or huge story written by a psychopath or something. Seriously, how do you deal with all these massive bombshell shake ups all the time?”

“Eh, you learn to just deal with them as they come,” Dipper shrugged, hopping up onto a nearby log to take a seat. Pacifica joined him, glad for the much needed break from their ongoing hike, though even so, she watched in curious confusion as Dipper pulled a snack out of his bag that she was entirely unfamiliar with. 

“What’s that?” she asked, intrigued by the oddly shaped sandwich. 

“Oh, it’s peanut butter and jelly,” Dipper grinned, offering half to her. “Mabel packed it for me before we left and for some reason she cut it into a heart shape and said it was ‘for luck’, whatever that means. Anyway, you can have some if you’re hungry.”

Pacifica didn’t immediately accept his offer, instead looking over the half-heart sandwich with a furrowed brow of confusion. “You said this is a… peanut--who and… what, exactly?”

“What, you’ve never had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before?” Dipper asked with an incredulous chuckle before meeting the heiress’s dumbfounded expression once more. “Oh my gosh, you’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Is this some sort of… poor person snack?” Pacifica wondered, holding the sandwich up to get a better look at it. “N-not that being poor is a bad thing! It’s just… I-I’m not really allowed to anything that doesn’t cost over at least $100 per tiny gourmet plate portion, so… yeah…”

“Are you kidding?” Dipper asked in apt disbelief. “Your parents don’t even let you eat what you want?”

“Heh, welcome to the super ‘glamorous’ world of a Northwest,” the heiress laughed somewhat bitterly.

“Well, here’s your official welcome into the super average world of a Pines,” Dipper countered, placing his half of the sandwich into her open hand with a playful grin. “And unlike most of your high class gourmet meals, this one’s completely free.”

Pacifica tried her best to suppress the sudden blush that filled her cheeks as she accepted his offering, though all the same, she was still a bit hesitant to try the sandwich for herself. Until, of course, she ventured her first bite of the sandwich. “Mm! This is sooo good!” she exclaimed, her eyes alight with newfound discovery. She disregarded all the proper manners she had been taught in favor of voicing her overwhelming excitement over such a simple treat. “The bread’s so soft and it’s all so creamy, but then there’s like… little nuts in it too? I love that!”

“That’s the power of chunky peanut butter,” Dipper chuckled warmly, amused by the heiress’s elation as she scarfed down another bite. 

“And this fruity taste? What is that?”

“Strawberry jam. So technically, it’s more of a peanut butter and jam sandwich, but eh, same difference.”

“Whatever it is, it’s amazing!” Pacifica grinned as she finished off the other half. “And you just eat stuff like that all the time?!”

“Eh, maybe not all the time, but PB&J is a longtime favorite for me and Mabel for a reason,” Dipper said, still laughing, especially as he noticed the small smudge of jam marring the heiress’s face. “Oh, hey, you got a little something on your cheek there.”

“Huh?” Pacifica reached up, rubbing just shy of the jam that she missed it entirely. 

“Here, I got it,” Dipper slipped his vest off, not really having anything else but the corner of it to wipe the heiress’ face clean. He stopped short as soon as he did however, suddenly caught off guard by exactly what he was doing, and exactly how close their faces happened to be as he did. In the briefest, most breathless of moments, he caught sight of her eyes, wide and wondering as they practically sparkled in the low light coming in through the trees above. Eyes that were staring at nothing else in the world at that moment... other than him. “I-I… s-sorry,” he quickly recanted, backing off as he hastily threw his vest back on and slipped off the log to stand. “W-we should probably get going.”

“O-oh…” Pacifica frowned somewhat, slowly, almost sadly returning to reality as she did the same. “Yeah, you’re right… Um… thanks, by the way, for the… what was it called again? Sandy Witch?”

“Sandwich,” Dipper corrected with a smirk. “And you’re welcome. I’ll be sure to bring you another one when we hang out again tomorrow.”

“T-tomorrow…” Pacifica repeated, her former smile returning in full force upon hearing this. “Yeah, tomorrow. I can hardly wait…”

“Steven, please tell me you saw that!” Mabel whispered as she looked out of her hiding spot just behind the log the pair had been sitting on moments ago. “Because it was absolutely adorable!”

“Yeah, that was really cute,” Steven agreed with a warm grin. “Still, I can’t believe Pacifica’s never had a PB&J before… That’s like… one of the basic food groups alongside donuts and fry bits!”

“Who cares about that?” Mabel shook her head dismissively. “Did you see the way those two were looking at each other? It’s like they were hypnotized… by love!”

“Eh, I don’t know…” Steven noted with a frown. “I’m still not sure if that was really ‘love’ or not…”

“Oh, so you still need even more proof, huh?” Mabel challenged, her hands on her hips. “Well, then don’t worry, Universe. If you need proof, then I’ll give ya proof!”

At this, she let out something of a wild, almost manic laugh, one that admittedly startled Steven as he anxiously tried to reign her back down from her obvious obsession. “O-or instead of that, maybe we could just--whoa!” The young Gem didn’t get a chance to finish as Mabel suddenly grabbed his hand and pulled him along after her once more, all for the sake of secretly eavesdropping in on Dipper and Pacifica once more. “O-or I guess we could always just keep doing this, that’s fine too!”

***

The next several days flowed along in a similar, surprisingly sweet succession. In light of the lack of any old or new threats or foes to face, Dipper didn’t mind spending his now very open free time with Pacifica at all. If anything, their already unexpected friendship seemed to grow closer and closer with each passing day as they shared new discoveries, snacks, and even secrets on occasion. The woods of Gravity Falls were essentially a treasure trove of adventures just waiting to be had, though fortunately none of their trips into it led to any real danger or disaster. Though one constant that neither of them were ever aware of during their days together was the fact that just about everywhere they went, Steven and Mabel followed behind at a safe distance, always unseen but always keeping tabs on the pair to look out for any signs of budding love between them. And suffice to say that, at least as far as Mabel was concerned, by the time the week was through, they’d seen more than enough signs of just that. 

All the same, Dipper and Pacifica’s latest trip into the woods happened to fall under the cover of dusk, just as the sky filled in with the colors of twilight and the shadows of the trees gave way to darkness. Even so, the pair ventured into that darkness unfettered, their path only illuminated by a simple flashlight as Dipper led the way further into the forest, his hand intertwined with Pacifica’s all the while. 

“Alright, Pines, I’ve had enough of your ‘mysteries’ for one week,” Pacifica remarked wryly as she eagerly followed after his swift pace. “Where are we heading this time? Some sort of creepy cave or underground tunnel to find some secret monster or something?”

“Nah, nothing like that,” Dipper chuckled, pulling the first journal out of his vest. “Its something I found in here that I’ve never had a chance to see for myself before. And I have a feeling it’ll be right up your alley.”

“Oh really?” Pacifica smirked. “So you’re saying it’s some sort of magical creature that eats terrible, over-controlling, prestige-obsessed parents?”

“Heh, if only,” Dipper replied just as playfully as they finally emerged into a small clearing entirely covered by trees from above. This served to block just about all forms of dying daylight out, to the point that the entire clearing was practically engulfed in darkness when Dipper suddenly shut his flashlight off entirely. 

“D-Dipper!” Pacifica gasped, blindly reaching around until she grasped onto his shoulder tightly. “What are you doing?!”

“Don’t worry,” he assured, placing his hand over hers to steady her. “Just wait and watch…”

The heiress let out an uneasy breath as she decided to heed him, allowing the symphony of the evening to fill in for them. Crickets, cicadas, and birds alike all echoed around the darkened den of trees, frightening and fascinating Pacifica all at the same time, but amidst them, she held on tight to Dipper, almost as if he was the anchor keeping her from losing herself to it all. Until… 

A sudden speck of light illuminated somewhere in the darkened space before the pair, small and sparse but persistent all the same. Another tiny light soon joined it, followed by another, then another, until the petite glowing orbs were popping up all around them, creating a warm, ambient sort of radiance that soon filled the entire clearing, making it apparent exactly what these little lights really were. 

“Fireflies…?” Pacifica wondered, smiling softly as she cupped her hands under one of the glowing insects. 

“Not exactly…” Dipper noted knowingly, watching expectantly until the creature’s normal yellow light suddenly, starkly turned a bright, vibrant purple. 

“W-what?!” the heiress gasped, her hands flying away from the bug as she looked around to its kin, only to see similar shifts among them. The fireflies all seemed to slowly, gently change colors with each passing moment at random intervals, some glowing pink while others illuminated blue, as even more blinked orange and still more among them turned green. As they meandered about the clearing, they ultimately created a glittering rainbow of light, one that absolutely enchanted Pacifica as she simply stood there, trying to take it all in. 

“They’re… beautiful…” she whispered, afraid she might scare them off if she was too loud. “What are they?”

“Iridescects,” Dipper informed, nodding to their depiction in the journal before shutting it and putting it away altogether. “Or, color-changing fireflies. They only live here in Gravity Falls, and they only come out during the summer months. I’ve been meaning to come out here to see them for myself, but everything’s been so busy lately that I haven’t gotten the chance to until now.”

“So,” Pacifica began, her wondering smile still apparent as she stood close to him and gazed out at the iridescects. “Was it worth the wait?”

Dipper paused, taking a moment to glance over at the heiress beside him. And the moment he did, it felt as though the entire world slowed to a soft, almost dreamlike crawl. 

The iridescects still drifted through the clearing, colors changing as steadily as ever as they hovered across the otherwise shadowy trees behind them. And yet, despite their practically magical beauty, Dipper found himself captivated by beauty of an entirely different kind. If he was perfectly honest with himself, he’d always known Pacifica to carry an almost regal sort of elegance and grace, though as he looked to her now, those things seemed so much more natural, so much more vibrant, so much more free. The lights all around her reflected off of her skin to the point that it almost seemed to take on an otherworldly glow, her golden hair taking on a similar, constantly changing, but always appealing pallor. Yet what he noticed most, what amazed him the most, was her smile, her eyes, her soft, easy laughter as a small group of iridescects came to hover around her head, creating what looked like a sparkling, multicolored crown. A crown that somehow, in some impossible way, served to make her appear even more radiant than she already was on her own. 

And suddenly, there was that feeling again, striking at his heart and bearing in deep. The very same feeling he’d first felt inklings of that night at the party when they’d first danced, that feeling he’d felt again, stronger and more realized deep within the titan’s ore mines. The same feeling he’d felt brief, crisp moments of scattered across the week he’d just spent with her each time they sat close, each time they happened to touch hands, each time their eyes happened to meet in stolen glances carried by unspoken words, unknown thoughts, and that feeling. So warm, so curious, so real and raw and rich that this time, it refused to be ignored. It demanded to be known, to be realized, to be felt. And as he slowly started to allow himself to feel it, he couldn’t help but wonder, as he looked down to her empty hand beside him, just waiting to be held, if maybe, just maybe, that feeling might just end up taking him somewhere this time after all. 

And yet… 

Maybe, he wondered, he feared, it wouldn’t take him anywhere, just like it hadn’t once before. 

As the gravity of that fear pulled him back down to earth once again, he suddenly drew his hand away from hers before they could even skim one another. His awestruck expression fell into something much more solemn as he tore his glance away from her, almost as if so much as looking at her was like holding onto a promise that would never be guaranteed. “Y-yeah,” he finally answered her question halfheartedly. For even despite the blissfully warm array of colored lights all around them, he felt as though he was standing in a sea of cold, empty darkness instead. “I… I guess it was…”

***

“Ok, Steven, I think we can both agree,” Mabel began, pacing around in front of the chalkboard she’d positioned in the shack’s den. “That what we witnessed last night in the woods was pretty much THE most romantic thing ever! The color changing fireflies, the cool night air, and they way they kept smiling at each other? Augh, it was all so perfect!”

“Yeah, you know, I wasn’t really sold on the idea before, but… I think last night convinced me for sure,” Steven nodded with an excited grin. “Looks like Dipper and Pacifica really do like each other like that. So I guess that means we can be happy for them and move on with our lives now, right?”

“Wrong!” Mabel corrected succinctly. “You saw what happened last night, Steven! Dipper was this close to making a move that would have changed everything! He totally would have taken him and Pacifica out of the friend zone and into the love zone, but nooooo, he just had to back out at the last second, just like he always used to do with Wendy back when he was crushing on her too!”

“Oh yeah,” Steven nodded thoughtfully. “He almost took her hand and everything. Why do you think he didn’t?”

“Cause he’s an awkward dork who doesn’t know how to show people how he really feels!” Mabel huffed, frustrated over the fact that she knew her brother far too well. “But to be honest, I… kinda think Pacifica might be the same way. Which, I’ll admit, is gonna make this… a little tough.”

“Make what tough?”

Steven and Mabel both let out a startled gasp as they turned to find Dipper entering the room, curious to know what their ongoing conversation was about. Though that curiosity only grew as he spotted the chalkboard that Mabel had written D + P onto, surrounded by a bold, massive heart. “Uh… what’s going on in here?” he asked, confused.. 

“Um… good question…” Steven frowned, still somewhat lost in Mabel’s shuffle. 

“N-nothing!” Mabel insisted readily. “And certainly nothing that involves you and a certain rich girl you’ve been hanging out a lot with lately, though if there’s anything you wanna discuss on that front, bro-bro, we’d be more than happy to listen!”

“Uh… no, thanks,” Dipper raised an eyebrow, looking between the pair with growing suspicion. “Wait a minute…” he glanced past his sister, narrowing his eyes at the chalkboard and the heart drawn on it until he all too quickly realized exactly who the initials within it stood for. “Mabel, please tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing…”

“Me? Doing what?” Mabel feigned innocence. “Dear brother, I haven’t the faintest idea of what you’re talking about!”

“Ok then,” Dipper said flatly before turning to the young Gem. “Steven, what’s Mabel holding behind her back?”

“Oh, well, it looks like a list!” Steven informed, catching the title of said list before Mabel could hastily shove it into her sweater. “I think it said ‘Dipper and Pacifica matchmaking ideas’ or something like that?”

“Steven!” Mabel hissed, flustered, especially as she looked back to her brother’s disapproving expression. 

“Oh no, absolutely not, Mabel!” he quickly, adamantly exclaimed. “There is no way I’m letting you try to set me and Pacifica up. Like I’ve told you so many times before, we’re just friends!”

“Yeah, but don’t you wanna be more than friends with her?!” Mabel protested earnestly. “We’ve been secretly watching you guys all week, and we’ve seen that special spark between you guys! All you gotta do is stoke it a little, bro-bro, and it’ll turn into a full fledged, passionate romance for the ages before you know it! Right, Steven?”

“Uh… yeah,” the young Gem shrugged with an awkward smile. “Um, sorry for spying on you all week by the way, that was Mabel’s idea.”

“A great one, just like all my ideas are!”

“...Ok, first of all, never do that again,” Dipper began, hardly even surprised by his sister’s antics at this point. “Second of all, there is no spark! Pacifica and I have been hanging out a lot lately, yeah, but we don’t have feelings for each other and that’s that! So you can forget any of your little matchmaking schemes, Mabel, because they’d just be a big waste of time anyway.”

“That’s what you say, Dipper!” Mabel called after her brother as he turned to leave, thoroughly annoyed. “But just you wait and see! You and Pacifica will be smoochin’ it up before you know it! After all, the only thing stronger than the power of love is the power of MABEL!”

“Uh, I dunno, are you really sure about this, Mabel?” Steven asked just as soon as Dipper had left. “Even if Dipper and Pacifica do like each other, I don’t know if its such a good idea to try to force them to be together.”

“You’re right, Steven, its not.”

“Garnet!” Steven and Mabel both gasped, startled as the Gem leader spoke up from her previously unknown spot leaning against the front entryway. 

“How long have you been standing there?” the young Gem asked, startled, though not surprised, given just how often Garnet did this sort of thing. 

“Long enough,” the Gem leader noted as she stepped up to the kids. 

“Great! Then you’re in on the plan to get Dipper and Pacifica to be an official couple then?” Mabel asked with an eager smile. “This sort of thing is right up your alley, Garnet. After all, you are certified expert when it comes to all things love and romance!”

“Hm, thanks,” Garnet smirked, adjusting her shades, though her smile quickly fell into seriousness all the same. “But I can’t say I’m completely in on the plan.”

“Aw, why not?” Mabel frowned, disappointed. 

“Mabel,” Garnet began, kneeling down to the girl’s level. “I know you mean well in trying to help your brother find love. And… you’re not wrong. There definitely is something there between him and Pacifica. Believe me, I know. I’ve been watching them over the past week too.”

“You have?” Steven asked, bewildered. “Why?”

The Gem leader grinned once more at this. “Let’s just say I could see the sparks flying between those two from a mile away. Even back before either of them knew it.”

“Oh my goooosh!” Mabel gasped, excited beyond measure. “So if even your future vision saw them falling in love, then that means they must belong together! In that case, we gotta get ourselves on matchmaking patrol STAT! Break out the romantic candles and the sweeping violin music! Steven, call up a reservation at the nearest fancy restaurant as fast as you can. We’re workin’ overtime here people, this is a love emergency!”

“Hold on there, Mabel,” Garnet cautioned much more calmly, effectively stopping Mabel’s frenetic energy right in its tracks. “There’s a better way of doing this. Love isn’t something that can just be rushed out the door; it needs time to grow, and for the people who are feeling it to grow along with it. And if we really want to bring Dipper and Pacifica together, then that’s what we have to do: help them grow together.”

“So… how do we do that?” Steven asked, curious.

The Gem leader smirked. “I have a few ideas in mind…”

“Then let’s try them!” Mabel readily lept on board. “All of them! No matter how big or crazy they might be or how many illegal fireworks might be involved in any number of them!”

“There’s no illegal fireworks involved in any of them,” Garnet informed evenly. 

“Oh, wait, that’s one of my ideas, sorry,” Mabel chuckled. “Still, this is a pretty big deal. I have a feeling we’re gonna need some extra help to make sure it all works out…”

“Help with what, dude?” Soos asked as him and Wendy entered the den for their break. 

“Oh, you know,” Mabel said with a casual grin. “Only making sure Dipper ends up with the one true love of his life!”

“Whoa, really?” Wendy asked, both her and Soos equally intrigued upon hearing this. “Well, good for him. I knew the kid would bounce back eventually. So who’s the lucky lady?”

“Pacifica Northwest,” Steven said, somewhat obliviously. 

“Whaaaaa?!” both coworkers exclaimed, exchanging a baffled glance at this. 

“No way!” Soos shook his head, amazed. “I thought Pacifica like, hated all of you guys.”

“She did, until Dipper worked his way into her heart and melted it entirely!” Mabel gushed dramatically. “Seriously, they’re so cute together, and they’d be even cuter if they would just admit how they really feel about each other! So what do you guys say? Are you in?”

“Oh yeah, of course!” Soos readily agreed. “Anything for Dipper, dude.”

“Yeah, what the heck, why not?” Wendy shrugged with a smooth grin. “This whole thing honestly sounds super wholesome and sweet, and besides, it’ll be a good excuse to get us out of work for the rest of the day.”

“Hey, hey!” Stan snapped, suddenly poking his head out from the gift shop upon overhearing this remark. “What have I told you kids before? There is never any good excuse to get out of work.”

“Oh, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel greeted the conman with a bright wave. “You’re just in time to help us get Dipper a girlfriend!”

The moment he heard this, Stan was unable to hold back a heavy burst of laughter, slapping his knee as he leaned up against the doorframe. “Ha! Especially not that!” he chortled, essentially beside himself with amusement as he looked to the group in the den incredulously. “That’s a good one! I mean, we all know the words ‘Dipper’, ‘getting’, and ‘girlfriend’ don’t even belong in the same sentence together! Seriously, Mabel, you’re splittin’ my sides here!”

“I wouldn’t speak so soon if I were you, Stan,” Garnet spoke up knowingly. “The chances of Dipper and Pacifica ending up together are much higher than you might think.”

“Pfft, oh what, did you see that with your fancy future powers--wait,” the conman stopped short as he considered exactly what the Gem leader had said. “Did… you just say Pacifica? As in that bratty, spoiled rotten Northwest girl?”

“Uh huh,” Steven nodded. “Her and Dipper have been hanging out a whole lot lately.”

“Cause they’re in looooove,” Mabel added with zealous smile. 

Stan, however, completely ignored them, his eyes growing wide with dawning realization. “As in the same Northwests who are so stupidly wealthy that they have way more money than they even know what to do with? Those Northwests?” 

“Oh boy,” Wendy smirked, crossing her arms. “I can already tell where this is about to go.”

“Well, then why didn’t you mention that from the get-go?!” Stan exclaimed with newfound excitement. “If Dipper really does get with that Northwest girl and they end up getting married someday, then we’ll all be RICH!”

“Does that mean you’re gonna help us out too, Mr. Pines?” Soos asked. 

“Are you kidding? Of course I am!” the conman said as though it was obvious. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me to make absurd amounts of money without even doing anything and I’m not about to let any of you kids mess it up, and I’m especially not about to let Dipper mess it up!”

“Actually, Dipper’s not the one you’ll have to worry about on that front,” Garnet noted, though once again, Stan largely paid her no mind as caught up in his own flights of fantasy over the matter. 

“So what are we sitting around here waiting for?” the conman asked, dollar signs practically in his eyes. “Let’s get those kids hitched so I can finally buy my own private island in the Carribean, just like I’ve always dreamed of!”

“Uh, m-maybe we should just settle for getting them together for now?” Steven suggested much more rationally. 

“Eh, that works too,” Stan shrugged as everyone came in close to begin properly planning. “Just as long as I walk outta the wedding with the deed to my new personal island when it’s all said and done.”

***

Despite the many hands involved, the first stages of planning out a starting scheme went surprisingly smoothly. And in the end, the entire group walked out of their meeting with something that they all hoped and believed had a solid chance at working; the only thing they had to do was to make it all happen. 

Securing a venue for the affair was easy enough of a task; the temple house had just enough room and would do the job nicely, especially after Steven, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy spent the better half of an afternoon stringing up lights and setting up tables. In the process, they managed to recruit Connie, Pearl, and Amethyst into their plans as well, with the former all set up to provide a romantic violin accompaniment while the latter pair would handle the food. Strangely though, neither Garnet nor Stan really participated in the preparations, save for dropping in to carry out a table here, take a few plates and utensils there, even cart off one of the flower arrangements for some unknown reason that neither of them would never explain, no matter how many times they were asked. Even so, the others managed to pull their plans together in record time, with everything and everyone set up perfectly in place just as evening began to fall. All that was left was to bring the hopefully soon-to-be couple into the mix and let nature take its course. 

While, of course, not letting either of them in on that plan at all. 

“Ok, seriously, you guys, what is going on?!” Dipper asked with a frustrated huff as Steven and Mabel shoved him out the Mystery Shack’s front door. Out of nowhere, the pair had pounced on him, forcing him into a clean-cut dress shirt and freshly-pressed pair of pants before they essentially held him down to run a comb through his hair. By the end of it all, even he had to admit he was dressed to impress, though for what reason, he hadn’t the faintest idea. 

“Oh, you’ll see…” Mabel said with a leading grin, more or less dragging her brother up towards the temple. 

“That’s what you guys have been saying for the past two hours now!” Dipper protested, thoroughly aggravated. “And it’s not good enough anymore! I need some answers now! Why are you guys acting so weird? And why did you force me to get all dressed up like this?”

“Aw, sorry, Dipper!” Steven said much more apologetically. “We’d tell you, but that’d ruin the surprise!”

“What surprise?” Dipper asked, still quite disgruntled as they all stepped up onto the temple’s porch. 

“This one!” Steven and Mabel chimed in cheery unison as they threw the door open to reveal the equally bewildered heiress standing just on the other side of it. 

Surprised, Pacifica spun around, showing off the simple, yet classy teal tea tress she was wearing. Her golden hair carried a slight wave to it, her face peppered with just a little bit more makeup than usual, creating an elegant, natural, appealing look. All the same, her eyes widened as she caught sight of Dipper, looking his own formal attire over for a moment before she ultimately broke into a small, impressed smile. “Hey.”

“H-hey,” he returned her greeting much more tightly, trying his best not to show just how mesmerized he actually was by how lovely she looked. 

“Its working!” Mabel whispered to Steven, unable to hide the huge grin on her face. “It’s working!”

“Its starting to,” Steven agreed, chuckling before speaking up to the entranced pair with a formal bow. “Sir, madam, your table awaits.”

“Wait, what?” Pacifica blinked back into reality, confused. “Table?”

“Whoa, whoa, hold on,” Dipper cut in, sending Steven and Mabel a suspicious glare. “This better not be-”

“A date! Yep, you got it!” Mabel exclaimed, pressing past the pair into the shack. 

“A-a date?!” Pacifica flinched, startled as her cheeks flushing bright red as she looked to Dipper, battled and distressed. 

“Pacifica, I swear I had no idea they were planning this!” he quickly assured, scowling at the pair. “Though in retrospect I guess I should have seen this coming considering how you guys always take these sort of things way too far…”

“What was that?” Mabel asked with a growing smirk as she stood before the curtain obscuring the rest of the house. “I couldn’t hear you over that romantic violin music.” She paused, her smile fading as she realized no such music was wafting through the building. “I said… that romantic violin music!”

“Oh! Sorry!” Connie called from the other side of the curtain. At this prompting, she began to play an elegant solo piece, one that Steven and Mabel used as their cue to pull the curtain back to finally reveal their master plan. 

“Prepare yourselves… for a night of romance!” Mabel proclaimed, throwing a dramatic hand out to the setup behind her. In just a few hours alone, the rag-tag team had turned the house into a makeshift restaurant, complete with Christmas lights and candles in an attempt at creating a sense of atmosphere and ambiance, though in reality it ended up coming across as somewhat cheap, perhaps even a bit cheesy. A handful of small tables had been set up, complete with lacy tablecloths and fine plastic dining ware, and at each of those tables sat a different, romantically-involved couple, each of which had been invited for the sole purpose of filling the restaurant up. 

The couple that was clearly enjoying themselves the most was Soos and Melody, the latter of whom just so happened to be visiting town at just the right time to make this impromptu date possible. They sat leaning in close, warmly conversing all the while as they absently munched on their breadstick appetizers before they happened to grab the same exact one, opting to eat it together until it led up to a brief, but very welcome kiss. Sitting at the table across from them was Robbie and Tambry, neither of whom were very invested in their date as much as they were sending each other flirtatious text messages, occasionally reacting to said messages with a coy grin across the table. Surprisingly, Lars and Sadie were also present, though quite begrudgingly so, given how flustered they were as they realized just how romantic the atmosphere around them actually was, something they were clearly uninformed of in advance. And still several other couples sat somewhat boredly as Wendy casually waited on their tables and Connie kept her gentle violin accompaniment going all the while. Even as a very audible argument began to break out between the pair of “chefs” in the very open kitchen nearby. 

“Amethyst, for the last time, nachos are not considered fine dining!” Pearl huffed, clearly irritated. 

“Oh yeah, and how would you know, P?” Amethyst retorted, still trying to prepare the simple snack food despite the white Gem’s protests. “You don’t even eat.”

“Maybe not, but I do know refined elegance when I see it and nachos certainly are not that!”

“Huh, and things were going so smoothly in here too…” Steven noted with a concerned frown that he was quick to chase away with a forced smile as he turned back to Dipper and Pacifica. “N-not that there’s a problem, because there isn’t!”

“Uh, yeah, there is,” Dipper replied flatly. 

“Oh, and what might that problem be, dear brother?” Mabel asked, trying to maintain an air of class despite how classless the scene behind her was. 

“Well for starters, you invited half the town to… whatever this is,” Dipper huffed, waving a hand out at the restaurant. “And second of all, you guys just threw all this together without even asking either me or Pacifica! I mean, did it ever occur to you that maybe we didn’t want you guys setting us up on some big, embarrassing date? B-because we don’t. We definitely don’t…” He essentially had to hold back a disappointed sigh as he said this, and likewise, he didn’t even bother to glance back at Pacifica behind him. Though if he would have, he’d have gotten a glance at an expression that was every bit as crestfallen and fretful as his own. “Right?” 

“Um, y-yeah…” the heiress forced herself to say, frowning as she wrapped her arms around herself and looked to the floor. “Right…”

“More like right idea, wrong execution.” 

The kids were all quite surprised by this interruption as Garnet suddenly stepped into the house, a confident grin on her face as she looked down to the hesitant pair in front of her. “Dipper, Pacifica, your other table awaits,” she stepped aside, holding the door open to the night air outside. 

“Other table?” Steven and Mabel whispered to each other, completely bewildered by this turn of events. 

Likewise, Dipper and Pacifica exchanged a wondering glance, but even so, they decided to at the very least follow the Gem leader’s lead, curious to know where it might take them. At the same time, Garnet silently beckoned Steven and Mabel, as well as Connie to pick up shop and follow after her, which they all did, even despite their palpable confusion. 

“Hey, wait, where you guys goin’?” Amethyst called as she noticed the group heading out the door. “What are we supposed to do with all these nachos?!”

“Not serve them to our guests, obviously,” Pearl scowled, snatching a plate away from the purple Gem before she hastily grabbed it right back. 

“Ah well,” she shrugged with a smirk before scarfing down the entire plate whole in full view of their very confused patrons. “More for me!”

***

As initially out of the loop as Dipper and Pacifica themselves were, now it was Mabel and Steven’s turn, for as the two of them and Connie treaded after Garnet and the couple from a distance, they couldn’t help but wonder exactly what shakeup to their well thought out plans the Gem leader had in mind. Which was exactly what Steven ventured to ask her as she continued to lead the group out past the shack and into the forest instead. 

“Um, Garnet?” he asked in a whisper as him, Mabel, and Connie caught up to the Gem leader. “Where are we going?”

“That’s a surprise,” Garnet said, a finger to her lips as she vaguely nodded back at the pair behind her. 

“Uh, n-not to sound like Nervous Nelly here, but this... wasn’t part of the plan,” Mabel frowned anxiously. 

“It was,” the Gem leader countered. “It’s just a bit of a different spin on the plan. I figured those two would appreciate just a little more privacy. And I wasn’t the only one to think so either.”

“Yeah, that’s right, which means you three oughta give them that privacy!” Steven, Mabel, and Connie all gasped in surprise as Stan of all people suddenly pulled all three of them aside, away from the setup that Garnet was taking the pair still following her to. 

“Grunkle Stan?” Mabel asked, bewildered. “What are you doing out here?”

“Like I said before, I ain’t about to let anyone mess this whole shebang up,” the conman said bluntly. “And that includes you kids. So sit back and watch some real romance happen. Or at least romance according to Shades over there, though since she’s pretty much in constant honeymoon mode, I’d say they’re in pretty good hands.”

“Boy, I’ll say,” Connie agreed, glancing forward and prompting Steven and Mabel to do the same. “Look!”

Garnet had finally stopped, Dipper and Pacifica pausing behind her as they looked around the dark, yet very open clearing they were now standing in with a shared sense of confusion. That is, until the Gem leader swept her hands out, somehow filling the entire area with a soft sort of gentle, multi-colored light, all of which radiated from the handful of iridescects filling the jars and lanterns strung across the clearing. Under that light sat a single table, set only for two, and every bit as warm and inviting as the rest of the serene, intimate setting very much was. 

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Garnet concluded with a simple smile as she turned to the pair, pulling down her shades a bit to reveal her trio of eyes, the topmost of which offered them a brief, knowing wink. “Enjoy.”

And with that, the Gem leader stepped aside, joining Stan and the kids back in the shadows of the surrounding trees. As she did, Dipper and Pacifica looked to each other once more, both of them equally perplexed as they tried to make sense of exactly what both of them had been unwittingly dragged into. 

“W-well, I gotta admit,” Pacifica began diffidently. “This… wasn’t what I was expecting when Mabel texted me earlier and told me to dress up nice and come all the way out here without even explaining why.”

“Ugh, Pacifica, I’m so sorry about all of this,” Dipper sighed tiredly. “I don’t know what those two were thinking with all this. Well, actually… I know exactly what Mabel was thinking, b-but that doesn’t matter. A-anyway, if you wanna call it a night and go home, I wouldn’t blame you. I mean, this is probably way more awkward than you ever could have bargained for…”

“N-no, its not!” Pacifica suddenly exclaimed, far more intently than she had meant to. She recanted somewhat, flustered, though she still managed a small, genuine smile all the same. “I-I mean… it’s actually really… sweet that your sister and your friends would throw all this together for us. E-even if it is sort of… out of the blue. Still, y-you… wouldn’t want all their hard work to just go to waste, would you?”

Briefly, Dipper paused, looking between heiress and the table before them, both of which were practically aglow in the low light surrounding them. And despite his staunch rejection of this so-called ‘date’ before, he found himself hard pressed to turn the offer down when Pacifica herself was the one presenting it to him. “N-no, I guess not,” he shrugged just as apprehensively, following after her as she moved to take a seat. 

Things were still somewhat stilted as they did so, however, the noises of nighttime filling in for any sort of actual conversation. That is, until they happened to lift the covers off their plates to reveal the deceptively simple, but surprisingly meaningful meal underneath. 

“Oh! Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!” Pacifica laughed brightly, absolutely charmed the once again heart-shaped snack. “How’d they know?”

“Trust me, you don’t wanna know the answer to that,” Dipper remarked, chuckling himself. “Honestly, I still can’t believe how much you liked PB&J the first time you tried it. It was pretty funny to see you get so excited over something as simple as a sandwich.”

“Ugh, no, it wasn’t,” the heiress smirked, blushing. “It was embarrassing. Even if that sandwich was totally delicious.”

The pair shared another laugh over this, one that was filled with warm that didn’t slip away, even after it was over. “You know…” Pacifica began with a soft, easy smile. “Even though we can both agree that this isn’t a… ‘date’, it’s still really nice to just be here… together…”

“Y-yeah…” Dipper agreed with a grin that was every bit as genuine as the heiress’ own. “It is…”

As the pair continued their casual conversation, they had largely forgotten about the group spectating over them from the sidelines. While both Garnet and Stan had taken a much more discreet, wiser approach to watching in the woods, Steven, Mabel, and Connie had all scaled a nearby tree to get a better vantage point. They had perched themselves on an obscured branch, just out of the pair’s view, but still giving them a perfect spot to see and hear everything that was going on between them. And suffice to say, they were quite happy with what they were seeing. 

“Oh my gosh, Garnet was right, this was way better than our old plan!” Mabel gasped, delighted as the pair leaned in a bit from their respective ends on the table, laughing softly all the while. For a moment, it seemed as though their hands were about to overlap, though just before they could, they both ended up drawing back, noticeably flustered as their conversation carried on all the same. “But… they’re still holding back…” Mabel frowned upon seeing this. “Ugh! I can’t deal with all this ‘will they/won’t they’ tension! I need those two to finally get to Smooch City already!”

“Hm…” Steven mused, staring down at the pair. “There’s gotta be something we can do. What did Garnet say again? We have to help them grow together?” The young Gem paused, looking around the dimly lit clearing for anything that could give him an idea. And sure enough, he found that idea in the form of the violin still resting in Connie’s arms. “That’s it! Connie, can you play us a song? Something slow and easy, but emotional and passionate? Like a love song!”

“Well,” Connie grinned, positioning her bow to play. “Let’s see what I can come up with…” After a few practice notes, she was quick to find her footing in a smooth, natural, calmly-tempoed tune, one that soon filled the entire clearing with its gentle, pleasing sound. 

“Yes, that’s perfect!” Steven whispered, stars in his eyes. “Now, if only I had my-”

“I’ve got you covered,” Garnet said as she handed the young Gem’s ukelele up to him. 

“Thanks!” he smiled back down at her, quickly tuning his own instrument before finding the perfect place to jump into Connie’s melody to create a sweet, soothing duet. One that wasn’t lost on the pair listening to it from down below. 

“Yeesh,” Dipper shook his head, facepalming. “They just don’t know when to quit with this stuff, do they? Remind me to get new friends and a new sister when all this is over.” Pacifica couldn’t hold back a small snort of a laugh at this remark, one that admittedly caught Dipper off guard from the very second he heard it. “Whoa, since when do you snort when you laugh?”

“Augh! Sorry!” the heiress flushed, covering her face in embarrassment. “It’s something my parents have tried to break me out of doing ever since I was little. They say its ‘not ladylike’, but sometimes I-I guess sometimes the snort just can’t help but slip through the cracks.”

“Well, I’m glad it does,” Dipper remarked, not even realizing just how red his own face was as he forced himself to maintain eye contact with her, largely speaking without thinking at this point. “Cause to be honest, i-its really… well, cute.”

By this point, Pacifica’s smile was so wide and so elated that she couldn’t help but let the bright, cherished feelings sparking within her brim over, urging her to be bold, urging her to take a chance, urging her to cross the line. Which she did in the form of something quite simple really; by doing nothing more than slowly, carefully resting her hand on top of Dipper’s own. “Say, Dipper…” she began thoughtfully, perhaps even a bit leadingly as she met his awestruck expression evenly. “You remember the night of the party, right? After the ghost was gone and we just went out there danced like a bunch of total dorks for hours and hours until we couldn’t anymore?” 

“Heh, how could I forget?” he answered, finally tearing his gaze away from their hands and toward her imploring smile instead. 

“Do you maybe wanna… I dunno… give that another go?” she offered, her tone soft and hopeful as the musical melody continued sweeping through the air, practically inviting them to move along to it. “W-we don’t have to, of course, I just thought… W-well, it might be-”

“‘Fun, or something’?” he countered, repeating the very words she had used the last time she’d asked him to dance. “Y-yeah, I think it would too, though… I, uh… don’t really know how to dance to something like, um… well, this.” He paused, allowing the almost waltz-like tune to fill in once again. 

“Oh, it’s easy,” Pacifica assured as they stood and stepped up to each other. “All you have to do is just put this hand here, and this other hand here…” she trailed off, steadying herself as she rested one of his hands against her back before she took his other one. As apprehensive as he clearly was, his touch was light and more than welcome, especially as she met his anxious, yet adapting expression with a soft, good-natured smile of her own. “And then… you just go.”

And with that, their dance began, Pacifica leading it given her greater experience with this sort of skill. It began slow and easy, though still in time with the music as they spun in calm, cool circles near their table, their eyes never drifting away from each other all the while. And as that melody carried them on across the clearing, Steven decided to put words to it as he strummed along, creating a fitting love song for the pair that was clearly starting to fall into exactly that. 

“How could it be? Now do you see? Its starting all at once…”

Prompted on by these gentle lyrics, they spun out wider, greater, with Pacifica gradually letting Dipper take the lead as he grew more and more comfortable with each and every step. True, he was still new to this, but she trusted him, she always had, from that very moment he’d helped her realize she could be so much kinder, so much stronger, so much happier than she’d ever thought possible. Happiness that she always, always felt in full form whenever he was by her side.

“You take a leap, then fall in deep. Slow at first, then all at once…”

Perhaps it was the night air or the colorful lights or the dreamlike music urging them onward, but urged by whatever it was, Dipper accepted the lead Pacifica was giving him, using it to spin her out swiftly yet carefully. When he pulled her back in, it was as though her eyes were sparkling as she looked to him, unquestionable elation and excitement filling them to the point that both were instantly infectious. For a brief moment, he could hardly believe that this moment was real, that they were here, together, like this. Certainly it had to be some sort of dream or fantasy and yet as he looked to her again, felt her hand intertwined with his own, he knew that this perhaps the realest thing in the entire world, the realest feeling he’d ever experienced in his entire life. 

“Doubts disappear, there’s no more fear. And it happens all at once…”

Gradually yet naturally, their pace began to slow, their twirls becoming more lofty as the music did the same. Their hearts were both admittedly racing, both from their ongoing dance and from nerves, fear, and exhilaration all at the same time. But there was no question they treasured all of those feelings. They wanted to cling onto that moment, as blissful and sweet as it was. They wanted it, and everything it represented, to last for as long as it was able, even as the song soon came to its peaceful, promising end. 

“Now that you know, your hearts can grow…. Together, all at once…”

Even as the lyrics reached their gentle conclusion, Connie and Steven continued playing their song, albeit a bit softer as the couple opted to ultimately slow dance to it down below. For awhile, neither Dipper nor Pacifica said anything as they continued, their hands still pressed together and their eyes tightly locked on nothing other than each other all the while. When this lingering silence finally was broken, however, Dipper was the one to do it, even if his voice was barely over a whisper when he did. 

“A-are you ok?” he asked softly, intently. 

“Y-yeah…” she nodded, just as subdued as he was. “I… I’m just a little dizzy.”

“Oh. S-should we stop?”

“No…” “Never,” she wanted to say, but she didn’t. And yet, despite this, they still stopped all the same, still holding onto each other loosely as they stared at each other, entranced and enchanted and unsure of what might happen next. That is, until, acting not on reason or logic or any sort of thought at all, slowly but surely they both began to lean in, their faces steadily drawing closer together, much to the delight of the trio watching them from the trees.

“YES!” Mabel shouted in a bright, elated whisper as she pulled out her camera to capture the moment as it happened. “This is it! Smooch City here they come!”

“I’m so happy for them!” Steven grinned joyously as tears started welling up in his eyes. “Oh man, I wish I’d brought a box of-” The young Gem stopped short as Garnet handed him off a box of tissues from down below right on time for his tears to begin to fall. “Thanks again!”

“Guys, shh!” Connie cautioned with a small, amused chuckle. “You’ll ruin their moment!”

Steven and Mabel were quick to pipe down at this, opting to instead watch in anticipation as Dipper and Pacifica only continued to move in closer and closer. For what felt like ages, nothing else seemed to matter, not the several sets of eyes they knew were on them, or the radiant colored lights all around. As if on instinct, their eyes both slipped shut, both of them breathless as they braved themselves to bound across the line and let their hearts lead the way. 

Until, at the very last minute, when one of them realized exactly what was happening. And as soon as they did, they were all too quick to fearfully pull away. 

Once Pacifica noticed her eager lips had been kept waiting, she hesitantly opened her eyes, only to see something that made her heart immediately plummet. For some reason, Dipper had pulled away, relinquishing his hold on her entirely as he took a small step back. His expression was rife with dread and guilt as he all but refused to make eye contact with her and instead gazed downward fretfully. 

“D-Dipper?” Pacifica dared to venture, newfound hurt filling into her own expression as she reached an almost trembling hand out toward him. 

“I-I... “ he hesitated, finally looking up at her before shaking his head. “I-I can’t do this… I’m sorry…”

The heiress flinched, awestruck as she watched him turn to leave her behind without even explaining why at all. All of the previous warmth that had once spread throughout her was now filled in with a bitter chill, one that carried into her tone as she worked up the courage to fiercely call him out. “S-so that’s it then?” she asked in disbelief. “Y-you’re just gonna walk away like its nothing? I thought… I thought you… t-that we were…” She took in a sharp breath, forcing every ounce of willpower she had to keep herself from breaking down entirely. “I-I guess it doesn’t matter what I thought, does it? Because clearly, you weren’t thinking the same thing.”

Dipper let out a long, remorseful sigh at this, briefly glancing over his shoulder at her to meet her bitter gaze. “Pacifica, that’s not-”

“Oh, what? That’s not it?” Pacifica filled in, obviously frustrated. “Then what is it, Dipper? Is… is it me?”

“W-what?” Dipper turned fully at this, seemingly distressed. 

“Look, I get it, ok?” the heiress continued, choking back a small, harsh sob. “I treated you and your sister and your friends terribly. I was awful to everyone and, a-a lot of the time, I feel like I still am except for when I’m with you. Y-you made me want to try to be someone better, to be somebody who’s actually worth all the effort but… b-but… I guess that’s not good enough, is it?” She let out a small, pained laugh at this, her tears finally falling as she shook her head. “I should have known; after all, nothing I ever do is ever good enough for anyone, right?”

She was more than ready to resign herself to such a grim thought, a thought that she had always been taught her entire life and had only recently begun to believe could be false. But all too quickly she was being reminded of just how miserably true it really was, just how hopeless and powerless she to make that change she desperately wanted. 

Until, of course, he came along and, in a single moment, pulled her right out of the darkness of that despair and back into the light, just as he had before. Only this time, it was in the very last way she could have ever expected:

With a kiss. 

She barely had time to react, to think as she felt it, his lips pressed against hers in perhaps the most surprising moment of her entire life. Admittedly, it was quite surprising for him too, especially as he realized exactly what his feeling had so recklessly, thoughtlessly pushed him into doing. And yet it was too late to take it back now, for they there were, standing there, kissing of all things, both of them feeling absolutely ridiculous… and absolutely wonderful all at the same time. 

“YESSSSSSS!” Mabel cheered as quietly as she could as she snapped a picture from the trees. “I got it! This baby is getting an entire scrapbook page all to itself!”

“I-I’m so glad you brought these tissues along, Garnet,” Steven sniffled as he glanced down at the Gem leader. “C-cause I’m really needing them now!”

“You’re not the only one,” Garnet grinned, thumbing away a stray proud tear of her own. 

“Huh,” Stan remarked, absolutely dumbfounded as he watched the scene unfold. “Who could’ve guessed the kid actually had it in him? Either way, I’ll be rollin’ in dough in no time!”

These collective, excited reactions were all but lost on Dipper and Pacifica themselves as they slowly drew away, their faces still close as they tried their best to catch their breath and regain their bearings. After all, everything had just changed in an instant; and yet neither of them could deny that it was an instant in which they could go back to and live in forever, for all it was worth. 

“O-Ok…” Pacifica spoke up first, uncertain. “Now I’m really confused. A-are you like… trying to play some sort of mind game with me?” 

“N-no!” Dipper quickly, anxiously replied, gripping her hand and holding onto it tightly. “I’m not, I-I’m sorry, I just… I-It's not you, please, don’t think it’s you. I love how much you’ve been trying to change and it is good enough and it’s always been good enough and I… I’m just rambling at this point, aren’t I?”

“Um… yeah, sort of?” the heiress raised an eyebrow. “What exactly are you trying to say here?”

“I-I don’t know!” he admitted earnestly, absolutely overwhelmed by all of the thoughts in his head conflicting with the feelings in his heart. “I’m just so bad at these sort of things, I always have been, e-even… even the last time I felt this way about someone…”

“L-last time?” she asked, concerned. “Wait… you mean that crush you used to have on that Wendy girl?”

“W-wha--how did you know about that?!”

“Mabel told me,” she said with an understanding smile. “I didn’t really know why she did… until now, I guess.”

“Ugh, like I said earlier, remind me to get a new sister…” Dipper grumbled, letting out a long groan as he allowed himself to flop down to sit in the grass, defeated. Pacifica hesitated a moment, but ultimately joined him, sitting close, though not too close, as she waited for a long enough beat of silence to pass before speaking up. 

“Uh… so if you don’t mind me asking, what happened with… that whole situation?” she asked, curious. 

“It was dumb,” Dipper shook his head dejectedly. “I was dumb. She’s way older than me and I knew that, but I just had to go and fall in love with her even though some part of me always knew it was never gonna work out. So I spent so long being all anxious and scared and coming up with all these crazy plans to get her to impress her when it all just ended up being a huge waste of time in the end anyway. But then, after it did fall apart, I started to wonder if I was ever really in love with her at all? Like… maybe I just thought I was all this time? I don’t know…” he sighed, closing his eyes thoughtfully. “I know this sort of stuff is all a part of growing up, but that doesn’t keep it from being less confusing…”

“W-well, at least we have that in common,” Pacifica grinned slightly. “After all, I’m all new to this stuff too…”

“Wait… you are?” Dipper looked to her, amazed. “Aren’t you like, the most popular girl in town? I would have thought you’d have had a thousand boyfriends by now.”

“Heh, never any real ones,” the heiress chuckled. “More like stuffy suitors my parents forced me to hang out with to make their business partners or the press happy. But I never actually cared about any of those guys… until… until you.”

“Pacifica…” Dipper said quietly, unsure of what to follow it up with, though thankfully he didn’t have to as she continued for him. 

“I… think I finally get it… why you held back at first,” she explained, slowly taking his hand once more. “It’s… hard wondering if you’ll ever really be good enough, working so hard to try to be the best you can for something that you’re not even sure is gonna work out in the end. It’s like a weight… one that’s so heavy you sometimes wonder how you can even carry it all without being crushed completely. So in a way… I guess we both have our own weights we need to carry, huh?”

He hesitated, though only for a moment. And in that moment, he realized that while his supposedly infatuated interactions with Wendy had always felt awkward and stilted, with Pacifica, it was like always seemed to know exactly what to say and do. A fact that, once again, proved to be completely true as he gave her the kind, easy smile he knew she deserved. “Well,” he began, prompted on by courage he didn’t know he had. Courage that was fueled by affection that he was now absolutely, finally certain of as he offered her hand a steady, supportive squeeze. “Maybe we can carry those weights together. That is… if you want to…”

Tears were welling up in the heiress’ eyes, though this time, they were filled with unquestionable joy as she nodded warmly. “Of course…” she whispered blissfully, somewhat playfully as she began to lean in closer to him. “But only if we take things slow…”

“Like I said, I’ve never done this before,” he laughed, overwhelmed once more, though by feelings of an entirely different, much better kind. “So slow is the only way I really know how to go.”

“Same here… and that’s perfectly fine with me,” she agreed, her eyes closing along with his as they drew in, this time entirely on purpose. 

And on that purpose, their lips met once more. Perhaps even more than their first kiss, this second one was genuine, crisp, and warm, one guided not by fear or guilt but by instinct, by fondness, by faith that this could and would work out. As it continued, she lifted her hand to rest gingerly against his cheek as he absently weaved his fingers through her hair, the mere touches alone striking even more soaring emotions within them both. And by the time it was all over, it felt as though by that kiss alone they had solidified something, that they had made a promise to themselves and each other that this was the start of a bond, of a relationship that they’d cherish and protect, no matter what might come their way. 

For as long and dreamlike as it all was, eventually, that kiss did eventually come to its natural end, though even as it did, they lingered close, their foreheads pressed lightly together as they shared a small, sweet laugh. However, for as tender as this moment was, it didn’t last long before it was inevitably interrupted by the flood of excitement that rushed out to meet them. 

“Mazel tov to the happy, brand new couple!” Mabel cheered, catching the pair off guard as she tossed a handful of rice over them from behind. Steven stood alongside her, brightly applauding while Connie hurried over to try to keep them from ruining the moment any more than they already had. 

“M-Mabel! Steven!” Dipper exclaimed as him and Pacifica pulled away, flustered. “What are you guys-”

“Oh, no need to thank us, bro-bro,” Mabel grinned proudly. “We were more than happy to make a match out of a couple as cute as you two, right, Steven?”

“Right!” the young Gem happily agreed. “Though… to be honest, I think we owe a lot of our success here to Garnet.”

“Well, my experience in the field of romance has never steered me wrong before,” the Gem leader remarked, grinning as she stepped up to the group. 

“Hey! Don’t forget about me!” Stan cut in brashly. “I helped set all this up too! Speaking of which…” The conman threw on an amicable, somewhat patronizing smile as he looked to Pacifica. “Welcome to the family, kid. Does folks on your side of the tracks still do that whole dowry thing? And if so, how much are your parents willing to fork out for yours? Just asking for the sake of reference.”

“Uh…” Pacifica trailed off, exchanging a bewildered glance with Dipper over such an odd question. 

“Ugh, come on, you guys…” he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose before turning to his new girlfriend with an apologetic smile. “S-sorry. I hope you don’t mind dealing with… them.” He nodded to the group surrounding them, composed of Steven, Mabel, and even Garnet’s wide, elated smiles and Stan’s much more greedy one. 

Even so, the heiress let out a bright, genuinely amused chuckle at their antics, one that did more than enough to set Dipper at ease that she’d find a way to fit in among his occasionally overbearing friends and family just fine. “I think I’ll get used to it,” she grinned, accepting his hand as he helped her up to stand. “After all, I’d much rather deal with them than my family.”

“Well then, like Grunkle Stan said, welcome to ours!” Mabel quipped, throwing an arm around both Dipper and Pacifica’s shoulders as she sandwiched herself between them. “Oh my gosh, Pacifica! Does this technically make us sisters now?!”

“Um… I’m pretty sure that’s now how any of this works,” Pacifica noted sardonically. 

“Alright, everyone, it’s getting pretty late out here,” Garnet spoke up, nodding over to the jars of iridescects that were starting to dim as they fell asleep for the night. “Let’s head back to the shack; I’ll make everyone some hot chocolate.”

“Ooo yeah!” Steven exclaimed excitedly, readily following after the Gem leader as she began to head back. “And we can put on a movie too!”

“Something romantic for you two lovebirds to cuddle up to,” Mabel added, offering Dipper and Pacifica a sly wink.

Even though Dipper let out an exasperated sigh at this, Pacifica merely chuckled once more, a laugh that Dipper himself couldn’t help but join in after a moment or two. As the others all went on ahead, the newly-formed couple trailed at the back of the group, their hands inconspicuously intertwining as they set out. As their fingers laced themselves together, they shared a soft smile, realizing just how well their hands fit together, how well they fit together. It was strange, perhaps even downright bizarre just how two people, so completely different yet also so very much the same, hand ended up together, but through fate or luck or something else entirely, they had. And as they strolled through the darkness into their fledgling future together, at long last, neither of them had any doubts left at all. Their feelings for each other were real, rich, and radiant, and there was no question in either of their hearts or minds, that together was exactly where they needed to be. 

“Now that you know, your hearts can grow…”

“Together....”

“All at once…”

Next:

[dontyoudarejudgemesworld]

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far: Chapter Three

Alright guys, so this takes place after a bit of a time skip. While I know that time skips are like coma theories (as in a sort of cheap way out) this is meant to illustrate the sort of relation ship Bill and her 'uncle' are creating. It's a long one (6,000+ words) but gives some insight to the characters. I know not everyone is a fan of time skips but if I were to go from start to finish for this whole fic it would be longer then the whole Lord of the Rings series so forgive me. The next few chapters will all include some kind of time skip as the focus of them is more to establish and form relationships serving as kind of independent one shots instead of parts of the over arching story-line. I understand that this may be a bit unpopular but considering what's coming it seems the best way to structure it to achieve my end goal with out having it drag on forever. I told you this was going to get weird. Also as an aside, I know there were some grammar and spelling errors in the first two chapters, this is due in part to my normal Beta reader being unavailable (because adulting is time consuming). That being said I had a stand in look this over an took much more time in transcribing it so I hope most of the errors were addressed.

Once again it’s posted here on AO3. And now onward to the insanity.

~*~ One Year Later

Stan sat pantsless in the TV room wondering if this was what contentment felt like. Beside him on the floor sat Billie leaning back against the dinosaur skull staring at the trash TV that played across the screen. Murphy announced ‘you ARE NOT the father’ for the third time in a row and the young woman who sat beside him burst out crying as a man who looked like he should be selling used cars jumped up triumphantly to the jeers of the audience. Beside Stan, his ‘niece’ let out a sharp bark of laughter as she took a sip of her soda. He glanced at her and shook his head; she really was a strange one.

In baggy basketball shorts and a tank top, he could see the mural of tattoos she sported. The sleeve on her right arm was actually a bed of colorful flowers and vines with skulls woven in, macabre but beautiful if he was honest. On her left shoulder was a raven’s head that looked like it was tearing through her flesh that was a little to photo-realistic for his taste. She also had a peacock on her left thigh with a long flowing tail that curved around to end on her knee cap, and a small green dog robot thing from some cartoon or other with the word ‘DOOM!!’ in crude childish letters on her right ankle. Wild black curls spilled over her shoulders in an unkempt mane and dark circles around her eyes told him that she had spent too long at the Skull Fracture last night getting rowdy with the lumberjacks. “Told you, Stan that means you’re picking up the tab at Greasy’s,” she told him cheerfully and he let out an exaggerated groan. He should know by now that betting against her was a fool errand. Over the last year, he’d learned a lot of things about Billie. Like she had no fixed address just various post office boxes, and instead, she lived out of a duffle bag and motel rooms. She worked for herself and seemed to make pretty decent money though he had all but confirmed his suspicion that she toed a very fine line between what was legal and what wasn’t. In truth, she played it pretty close to the vest when it came to discussing her work but she’d let a few things slip and he was willing to bet that she was a bloodhound at least part of the time. Someone that loan sharks and crime lords used to find people that didn't want to be found. A dangerous and ethically ambiguous profession at best. And while he couldn’t help but dislike that idea he couldn’t exactly say too much on the matter, instead of taking some small comfort in the fact that at least she wasn’t a full-fledged criminal like he’d been. Maybe if she had kids one day they’d manage to be upstanding members of society, but something told him she wasn’t the settling down type. Overall throughout seven visits and quite a few calls they had developed a comfortable relationship. After the fourth visit, he’d broken down and invited her to just come to stay at the Shack instead of staying at The Twin Beds. Which he regretted almost instantly; Wendy and Soos had both noticed at once and plied him with questions. Fortunately, Billie seemed to have inherited his Ma’s snake tongue and smoothly lied that she was the daughter of an old acquaintance that he was helping out with a place to stay between jobs without batting an eye. Soos and Wendy had been a bit wary of her at first, but they’d come to warm up to her. She tended to help around the shop and was generally amicable flashing charming smiles and quick wit to win them over. He was fairly certain she’d won over Wendy by covering for her so she could skip out to hang out with her friends a few times but couldn’t prove it. And Soos’s natural good nature had caused him to warm to her quickly, especially when she started helping him come up with and build new attractions for Stan to take credit for. When he wasn’t leading tours and she wasn’t off drinking and brawling with the bikers of the town (a pass time she seemed to enjoy a tad too much in his opinion) the two of them usually spent their time watching trash TV in between runs to Greasy’s diner and the bar. Though after she’d started staying with him he’d discovered that the woman could cook. He’d told her at one point that she didn’t need to but she’d shrugged it off with a smile and that cool laugh of hers saying ‘I spent enough nights hungry and cold that it’s a pleasure to be able to make a decent meal.’ That thought had given him pause to wonder what exactly she’d been through; her mother certainly sounded like a piece of work, but it seemed like so much more. But as much as he wanted to know he didn’t ask. In fact, he hardly asked her anything about her past and she in return didn’t ask about his. Instead, they had found a strange sort of comfort in each other's company. Two broken people who had had hard lives that could spend time around the other without pretending to be anything more than they were. The first few visits they'd both been on their best behavior, Billie had kept her habits of beer and brawling to herself and he had cut back on the cigar and shoplifting. But after an incident involving Billie sucker-punching a guy for asking her if she wanted to come back to his room and put a smile on her pretty face after which Stan had declared it was time to leave snatching the guy's wallet as they fled they had come to a silent agreement that they didn't need to put on 'upstanding citizens' acts anymore. He had thought a few times that he vaguely remembered that this strange feeling of accepting each other for who they were was what family had felt like back when Ford and he had been children, but he couldn’t quite be sure. “Earth to Stan,” Billie’s smooth southern drawl broke through his thoughts pulling him back to find her head cocked staring up at him one brow cocked curiously, “You didn't hear a damned word I said did yuh?” she asked a smirk pulling on her lips. “Naw, I was too busy thinking how sick I’m gonna feel at dinner so I cant go to Greasy’s,” he told her to cover his sappy musing. She rolled her eyes as she shook her head. “The most expensive thing on the menu is 15 dollars. I know you're cheap but…,” she began only to be interrupted as an obnoxious commercial can on the volume raising ten octaves. “Are you completely miserable?” came Bud Gleeful’s voice. “Well I am now,” she growled putting one hand over her ear and glaring at the TV as the commercial played. Watching she cocked an eyebrow as Stan’s picture flashed up to be stamped with ‘FRAUD’, “What bullshrimp is this?” she asked incredulously, “That the chubby car salesman? He’s ten times the liar yuh are, how the hell does he have the gall to call yuh out like that?” “I know, right?  At least my customers have some interesting stories to go with the junk I sell them,” he said indignantly, “And what’s worse is it’s working. He’s got his kid pretending to be psychic and the tourists are eating it up. Heck, even the locals are. Putting a real cramp in my wallet. I wish there was something I could do to hit him hard but nothing seems to be working. Even the Squid-abitt isn’t enough,” he railed shaking his head. Beside him, Billie cocked her head one eye squinted in thought as she stared at the TV. “What about someone who can talk ta the dead?” she asked and his head snapped over to her his eyebrows shooting up. “What? Well, yeah that would be a real money maker but who the hell do I know that can do that?” he scoffed as he took a drink of his soda, “Even I can't pull that off.” “I can,” she said matter factly and his face pulled into a look of bored skepticism. “Yeah, and I can teach a pig to fly,” he snorted and she looked up at him that sly smirk of hers slowly crawling over her lips. “Ya wound me, Stanford. I’m from the south where snake oil peddlers are ah’ dime ah’ dozen. Hell Bud’s one that’s why he’s pulling this off so well,” she told him in a slightly condescending tone, “Tell you what I’ll go double or nothing on Greasy’s. If I can give yuh a two-night show that will make more then you do in the same two days. That means two dinners at Greasy’s and braggin’ rights from now until the end of the world,” she challenged and he couldn’t help the lopsided grin that pulled at his lips. “Only if you get it up and running by Saturday,” he added, that would give her the rest of the night and tomorrow to prepare. Not to mention that those were the moneymaker days with tour buses on top of regular foot traffic. A challenge he was sure even she couldn’t pull off but she just grinned and put her hand out. “Prepare ta eat crow, Stanford Pines,” she told him as he grasped her hand causing him to let out a sharp hoarse laugh. “Even you aren’t that good kid,” he sniped unable to help the smug laugh that escaped him at the fire that lit in her eyes at his challenge. “Oh you’re fixin’ ta eat those words old man,” she warned as she hopped to her feet. “Hey what about dinner,” he barked as she turned on her heel to head up to the attic. “Time is money, Stanford. Order Chinese from that there place at the mall, card’s by the phone,” she snapped as she hustled off to get started. Watching her go he couldn’t help but smile. She really was something else, and he’d managed to get dinner without paying for it.

~*~

A day and a half…that was all he’d given her. And now he was thinking that had been too much time. The woman had to be some sort of witch. There was no other explanation as to how literally overnight she’d managed to pull this off. By Friday morning there had been flyers plastered all over town with the simple drawing of a closed eye with the words ‘Esmeralda. Two nights only at the Mystery Shack.’ And apparently, somehow everyone in town had heard the whispers about a real live gypsy that could talk to the dead by noon (he had a theory that Billie had somehow gotten Wendy to help her spread the word but once again couldn’t prove it). By Friday night there was a deceptively large tent set up around the totem pole that looked like it had come out of some storybook. It would have been impressive if he didn’t feel the impending loss breathing down his neck. His one hope was that she wouldn't be able to pull off the act; after all, she had become someone the locals recognized by now so they surely wouldn't buy it when they saw her. That was until he’d come downstairs Saturday morning to find a gypsy woman sitting at the table nursing a cup of coffee. Her skin held an olive tint, her eyes a rich deep brown, and her curly black mane was held away from her face by a scarf. She wore a frilled white shirt that hung off one shoulder and a skirt made up of layers of gauzy material in a rainbow of colors with a coin skirt hung low on her hips. Bangles crowded her wrists and a few on her ankle making her every movement musical. Staring at her she flashed him a bright grin. “Good morning Mr. Mystery I’m Esmeralda and I speak to the other side,” she greeted him in an accent that was European but not too strong. Staring at her it took him a minute to realize that she was his daughter. What gave it away was the bandage on her left hand, it was neatly wrapped and wouldn't be worth much note if he didn’t see the slight bump where her extra finger was folded across her palm to hide it. Shaking his head he stared open mouth at her, she looked like a cliche and it was brilliant. The tourist would eat it up. “How?” he demanded his voice cracking in indignant awe causing her to chuckle. “Lots of foundation, contacts, and years of practicing a dozen accents,” she told him smugly in that outrageous but somehow totally believable accent, “You can always admit defeat now Stan and I will only demand one of my dinners,” she offered. “No way toots. You never call a fight early,” he replied and she shrugged as she took another sip of her coffee. Arrogance rolled off her and he let out a low grumble, while he could appreciate her confidence speaking to the dead was a tall order. He opened his mouth to say something to her when Wendy's voice came from the gift shop. "Stan a tour bus just pulled up!" Glancing at 'Esmeralda' she flashed a wicked smile as she stood in a rattle of bangles and rolled her shoulders. Looking him up and down she couldn't help the smirk that pulled at her lips. "May the best con win, " she laughed resting all her weight in on hip as she stretched. Stan couldn't help but let out a bark of laughter that rose in him as a competitive fire lit in him. "Age and treachery with overcome youth and exuberance every time, " he reminded her and she shrugged as she moved to slip out the back door. Watching her go he shook his head getting his cane and flipping his eye patch down, he had to admit having some competition was making the day a bit more exciting. The next 10 hours were a whirlwind of activity as a flood of tourists poured through. He spun his stories with a flare he hadn't felt in years as Esmeralda flittered about. He had to admit that she was good; adding some rustic flare to his stories telling of sighting of the Cat-a-peid in the 'old country' and backing up the claim that the magic crystal they sold were steeped in the mystical energy of the forest. Between the two of them, they managed to create a fevered excitement in the visitors who all but threw their money at Wendy. But even as he reveled in what were surely record profits he couldn't help but notice that all of Billie's help was a double-edged sword. Even as she hyped his attractions she filtered about reading palms and offering charms that she made appear from her skirt. Shiny rocks and crudely carved figures on a bit of string, things he recognized from the bulk supply warehouse he bought his own junk from. A ten here and a twenty there that she slipped away with a smile and an offer to come see her tonight as the spirts had many messages and perhaps one was for them. And he finally got to see her speak to the dead, at least that was what it looked like. Gravitating to a cluster of tourists she placed a hand on her temple as she closed her eyes. Letting out a humming sound she peered up at the curious group. "There is a woman. Older, matronly who wishes to speak to one of you. Some connection with the letter T, " she said softly as she hummed again pausing for dramatic effect, "A name or hobbies maybe. Teresa. Or Teapots. Or Tammy. Or trains...tarting. Tabatha, maybe. I'm sorry it's hard to hear her. Her voice is a soft one but warm like..., " he began only to have one if the men, a middle-aged guy speak up suddenly. "Thelma?" he asked suddenly, "My Mema was named Thelma, " he said excitedly and a murmur went through the crowd. Billie smiled softly as though listening to someone speak before nodding. "Yes, Thelma. She passed suddenly, but not unexpectedly right, " she told him and he nodded his face pinching ever so slightly with emotion. "In her sleep, but she was 98," he supplied and Billie smiled gently as she nodded. "She wants you to know that it was painless and she is at peace, " she told him kindly as she shifted as though leaning closer to someone to hear, "She says that you're worrying over something financial. A promotion or payment of some sort. You are concerned that it won't happen, that it keeps you up at night. You are sleeping and it worries her. Do you know what she's talking about?" she asked and he nodded silently the crowd around him starting in wonder. "Ye...yea. I know what she's talking about, " he choked and Billie nodded sympathetically, "She says that you don't need to worry. That it will all work itself out. She says to tell you to have faith, that God wouldn't have you face a trial you could not handle, " she said her eyes flattering closed once more, "She says she loves you and that you need to read for your own health." For a moment silence hung in the air before the man moved forward and threw his arms around Billie thanking her. Around them, the crowd had tripled in size and an excited clamor rose from them all talking at once. It was amazing and a total sham. He'd seen this sort of psychic before, they were all over daytime TV. And while he had no idea how they did it he knew in his bones they were fakes. But even so, the audiences ate it up including the one now swarming around Billie. "Oh she's good, " he growled as he stood watching her work the crowd telling them that she would speak to the spirits tonight and they were welcome to come, no latter than 7 and cash only for her small admission fee. She only asked 20 dollars so she could continue her travels. And every single one ate it up like starving men. She smiled at just the right moments and spoke just the right word. And that when it hit him. This wasn't her first time pulling this con. She was poised and practiced like she did this every day. This was an old hand to her, a well-practiced grift not some idea she"d randomly thrown out. He'd assumed she was just winging it, she was a PI not a psychic. At least she was now. Just like he was Mr. Mystery now. But before that, he'd been a lot of other things. And it appeared before being a PI Bill had been other things as well. In that moment he realized that he'd been played, that he'd assumed she'd been bluffing without knowing her tells. She was a con artist just like him, and he should have known. Betting against her was a fools errand, and not just when it came to daytime talk shows. She was his daughter after all, and it seemed some of his talents had passed on.

~*~

Billie sighed as she she leaned against the support of the porch, a cigarette in one hand and a can of Pitt cola in the other. She felt like a whole new person after a hot shower to wash off the ton of bronzer and foundation she’d used to make her pale skin darker. It was nice to be out of that stupid heavy skirt and back in sweats and a t-shirt. Pre-dawn just started to brush the sky above the trees with thin lines of pinks and oranges the trees shadows stretched out like fingers of darkness trying to resist the coming day. It got light so early up here it made her feel like it was later (or earlier) then 3:30 in the morning. It really was beautiful though, like a Rob Boss painting. She had to admit when she’d first rolled into the little Organ town the year before she had found the picture perfect place a bit unsettling. It had been the plan to show up meet Stan and never look back, after all she’d never thought he would want anything to do with his brother’s vagabond daughter. Guess that’s what she got for thinking. It turned out her uncle seemed to want something to do with her after all, and surprisingly she wanted something to do with him.

After her research she had expected to find a cold logical man who had no room for sentimentality. While she knew scientific papers were written specifically lacking any emotion his had seemed extra sterile. Even the forwards to the where normally the researcher had some kind of tone had been devoid of anything to give her a glimpse of personality. But instead she had found a man who was the furthest thing from a cold clinical researcher. He was warm in a gruff kind of way and she liked it. It occurred to her that the time line of his published works ending and the Murder Shack coming into being seemed to overlap with Stanley’s death. Perhaps, the sudden change in profession had also been a sudden change in personality, grief was a powerful thing after all.

Or perhaps he’d simply decided that this strange little corner of the world was too wonderful to waste with his head buried in in books. And it was wonderful. And weird. Over her first few visits she’d began noticing strange shadows and odd movement in the trees. And while she’d written off the little men she’d seen rummaging in the diner’s dumpster and the Moth Man she’d seen batting at a street light outside the hotel one night to tricks of the mind and the local legends getting to her, she’d quickly realized there was something inherently odd to the place. Not bad just odd. But once she’d come down one morning to find Stan luring a walking camp fire out from under the porch with marshmallows she’d realized it wasn’t in her head. Instead she had decided that she rather liked this place, after all she was an odd person so she didn’t feel so out of place. It was like she could breath freely in this strange little town with her eccentric uncle.

Her uncle, that was still a strange thought. Billie had never really had a family, her mother had always been too busy being a drunken whore druggie to be anything else. And while she technically had four older siblings they’d all been to busy finding their own way to survive to bother with anything as trivial as bonding. Hell, after she’d been taken into state custody she hadn’t seen any of them for years, a few she still hadn’t seen even after all these years. It had always been her, she’d learned early to never depend on anyone else. Survival was the end game and others had always been passing acquaintances to her. But for some reason she kept coming back here, kept calling to check in on Stan. Perhaps, it was that he never asked any questions or judged her for smoking and drinking. Or maybe it was that she knew that the tired eyes and world weary voice she had was a mirror of his. Not that it mattered, she had come to really appreciate the time she spent with the old con.

It was a nice change of pace. Most people seemed to think that being a PI was like the movies; chasing down leads, sneaking around to get photos, and all that, but it wasn’t. While sure it had its exciting moments (especially when it came to some of her less than reputable clients) it was a lot of time sitting around and waiting for someone to show up. It was digging through mountains of trash and public records to find a lead. It was asking a lot of questions that never got answered to people who didn’t want to talk to you. Over all it was exhausting in more ways then one. She’d always spent her time between jobs partying or holed up in a hotel room getting stoned and sleeping, but now she found coming here to be a much better past time.

There was always some new creation Stan was working on or some project to help Soos with. She had found walks in the woods were eventful as she seemed to run across odd little creatures and weird rocks no matter what direction she went. Even when it was boring around the Shack she at least had company. And Stan sure made for interesting company. He was always ready to snipe at each other or make stupid bets over anything. Heck, the last two days had been the most fun she’d had in years. She had enjoyed watching the old con slowly realized that this wasn’t her first rodeo, though, she knew she had shown her hand and he wouldn’t fall for it again.

Then again even she was surprised she’d pulled it off. While the gypsy shtick had been something she’d acquired as a teenager the rest had been dumb luck. She was constantly surprised that for such a nowhere town Gravity Falls seemed to have everything. 24 hour copy shop to make the flyer? Yup, Shenkos beside the mall. Party rental shop with a thematically appropriate tent? You bet. Costume shop? Yup. Local teenagers willing to spread rumors and wield social media like a finely honed weapon for $20 bucks? Well, everywhere had those but Wendy was a sweet kid who seemed more then willing to recruit help. It just went to show that helping the kid ditch work a few times had been a good idea. Still, some how it had all come together and she’d been able to back up her cocky words. Even with the expenses she’d pull in over a grand in a weekend beating Stan by a hundred buck and some change.

So she’d won, though, since she had told Stan to keep it since it was his customers to begin with she had basically bought herself two dinners and some expenses but useless bragging rights. In truth, she didn’t need the money, she got paid well for her work and had nothing to spend it one. She didn’t pay rent since she refused to settle, and aside from weekly hotels, food, and smokes she didn’t buy anything really. So she had a huge bank account that she just let sit for when she decided to retire. Plus, she’d liked the idea of helping Stan out, if in no other way then sticking it in Bud’s face. How dare he call Stan a fraud when he sold junk cars at astronomical prices? A small self aware part of her knew that she had done it because she cared about the old man, but she just ignored it.

Shaking her head she snorted, she had to be tired to be getting all introspective and squishy. Feelings weren’t her bag, she’d just done it for fun. At least that was what she told herself. Shifting slightly she groaned, her body felt heavy and her eyes kept trying to close. She was exhausted two days and nights of putting on a show took a lot out of a woman. Not to mention, she’d had to strike the tent after last night’s performance so the rental company could pick it up first thing, and of course she and Stan had sat up counting out their respective earnings. Stad had recounted hers twice growling she’d padded them, before finally admitting defeat. The look on his face had been worth it.

“Alright kid, how’d you do it?” came a gruff voice and the smell of cigar smoke pulling her eyes from the trees. Looking over at him she flashed a smile earning a half hearted scowl in response and a dismissive grunt, “Come on out with it. It’s only fair I know how I got beat.” Smirking she let out a sharp bark of laughter.

“It’s called cold reading,” she told him causing one of his eyebrows to shoot up in question, “You size up a crowd; age, clothes, general stuff you know. Then you throw out a line; something vague enough to not be a definitive statement but specific enough to be convincing. One you get a bite you reel them in, double talk so they tell you everything but it seems like you told it to them and bam you talked to their dead aunt,” she explained as she took a drink.

“Sounds like it would be easier to actually talk to the dead,” he grumbled, “Yur Grandmother would be proud. So where on earth did you learn to pull that off? It doesn’t seem like somethin’ you’d learn for a party trick,” he observed as he took a long puff off his cigar groaning as he settled back on the couch. Shrugging she sighed as she moved over to sit next to him staring out at the dark woods tucking one leg under her.

“When I was round about 16 I ran off from the group home. I was tired of being passed around homes like a fruit cake at Christmas yuh know. So I landed at a traveling fair after a while and met the Amazin’ Jezabel. She pulled the same gimmick and taught me how since my weird hand gav’ ah bit of a witchy vibe. I traveled with them for a year or two, ‘fore getting sick of making her a ton of money and gettin’ hog spit in return. I went out on my own and was good at it,” she told him cracking her neck  a touch of melancholy settling over her as she recalled the days she spent running the con at fairs all over the south, “I probably could have gone on with it, got one of those shows on TV, but after a while people started coming to me looking for real answers. Sure, stuff like this weekend is fine. Tellin’ people that their grandma loves them or their dog is always hangin’ around them don’t hurt nothin’ It makes them happy, but when you have people comin’ to yuh lookin’ for their missing kid offering their life’s savin’s for answers it changes the game. I couldn’t bring mah’self ta lie to them. I didn’t want to give ‘em false hope so I quit. I was tryin’ to feed myself not cheat desperate people, yuh know?” she finished before calming up. She hadn’t needed to say all that, and it kinda broke the unspoken agreement they had to avoid anything too honest about themselves.

Glancing over she expected to find him either half listening to her ramble on or looking at her with the inscrutable look of mild disappointment he got when she came in half cocked with a split lip from brawling with the guys at the Skull Fracture. Instead his brows were furrowed and the corner of his lips pulled down in a half frown. It wasn’t that he looked disgusted at her words more…saddened by them. For a long moment they just stared at each other before he looked away taking a drink of his own soda.

“What?” she asked finally ignoring the slight feeling of insecurity that his silence had brought on.

“Nothin’. I was just thinking about your Dad,” he said his voice slightly rougher then normal, “That’s impressive though. You got any other tricks up your sleeve?”

“Naw, nothing worth noting,” she said as she looked away from him resting her elbow on the arm of the couch and leaning her head on it. For a moment they were silent, sitting there smoking before her eyes slid over to him again.

“What about him?” she asked unable to stop herself. While she excepted that Stanley was gone, and he seemed to be a subject Stanford didn’t seem keen on she couldn’t help but wonder about Stanley. He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes knowing what she was asking at once. For a second she thought he wasn’t going to answer before he shrugged.

“Nothin’ really. Just that you’re a lot like him. He may have been a cheat and a liar but he never preyed on desperate people. He’d probably be proud of you for that,” he said as Billie barely suppressed the pleased smile that threatened to surface at his words, “Though if he’d have known about you’d you could bet you wouldn’t have even been in a position to have to decided who were acceptable marks,” he added under his breath like he was speaking to himself not her. Smiling she looked back out at the trees.

“Yeah well if that were the case I wouldn’t have been able to get some free meals and braggin’ right now would I?” she chuckled to break the heavy silence that had settled on them and she saw his lips twitch from the corner of her eye.

“Yeah, yeah live it up kid. You cheated and you know it. That was dirty trick, I wouldn’t have made that bet if I’d have know you were a professional psychic,” he grumbled and she chuckled as she finished her drink and stood stretching.

“I’m goin’ ta bed. I’m beat,” she announced with a small yawn, “You should get some sleep too, Stan yuh look like hell,” she added glancing down at him causing him to chuckle.

“You ain’t the boss ah me kid,” he grumbled as she couldn’t help the stern look that crossed her face causing him to laugh, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll finish then and head to bed,” he assured her waving his hand at her. Smiling she yawned again as she headed in.

“Night Stanford.”

“Night Billie.”

[littlemonstersau-blog]

The Feels Awaken, Part 3: A New Hope (for Friendship)

Written by @jkl-fff, illustrated by me

PART I - PART II [Interlude] - PART III - PART IV [Interlude] - PART V [FINAL] (you are here)

——————————————————————————————–

A new day dawned then waxed then began to wane, but Ford and Bill hardly noticed. A manic, obsessive energy (plus an unhealthy amount of coffee and sugar) kept them focused throughout their self-appointed task. Such is often the case for the kind of people who feel the need to write to right a wrong in the world. Not all heroes wear capes, after all; some wear turtlenecks and trenchcoats, some wear paper-based clones of teenage boys produced through unholy abominations of SCIENCE!.

… For that matter, not all heroes are particularly heroic; some are morally ambiguous straddlers of the line between antihero and antivillain, some are demonic chaos gods who (quite frankly) still wonder how in the 79 Hells they found themselves in this position.

In the end, though it did take more than the one night, they still finished in just over 16 hours. The plot outline came in at just over 18 pages, which they tidily stacked together on the table and declared to be more than adequate … before passing out on the carpet. Facefirst.

When Bill next regained consciousness, he was in his attic bed and morning light was streaming through the window. His mouth tasted like an abandoned prison for criminally insane chalk and his head felt like the internal turmoil of a buzzsaw having an existential crisis. It was a pain that was anything but hilarious; it was the sugared caffeine hangover equivalent of nuclear fallout … Mouthwash fixed the first problem. The second took an adult dosage of aspirin, a lot of water, and deliberate manipulation of many of the clonesuit’s normally automatic processes for a full eight minutes. And even then, not completely.

“Guess I can’t pilot one of these things through 36+ hours of no sleep on a gallon of coffee … Not if I wanna be able to still maneuver it the next day without crashing every ten feet into a wall or the floor, at least,” he grumbled to himself. “Major design flaw … Can’t believe they got evolutionarily approved for mass production with such weak durability …”

Downstairs in the kitchen, Stan greeted him jovially enough. “Stancakes are up, and so are you, it seems. How you feelin’ today?”

“Honestly, confused,” Bill graveled, his clonesuit throat still raw. “I can get longterm possession of a meatbag leading to me—y’know, the real me—developing emotions and physical cravings and other … gross, brain-mush junk like that. Neurochemistry is basically just an addictive habit, like how people respond to hearing the question ‘What is love?’—”

“Baby, don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me no more,” Stan mumbled automatically.

“Exactly. But what I don’t get is why the real me is also feeling this coffee and sugar hangover. No joke: I tried leaving my clonesuit to get away from it, but it followed me. How is that fair? And, yeah, existence isn’t fair,” Bill interjected before Stan automatically could. “But still …”

Like the benevolent and experienced sage he was (more or less), Stan chuckled to himself. Then, laying a companionable arm around Bill’s shoulders, he leaned in and whispered the truth as grimly as Death itself, “You can outrun your sins, but you can never outrun a hangover.”

“W-wha?”

“Some say if you never stop drinkin’, it’ll never catch up with you. But they are fools. Sooner or later, all things must sleep—sooner or later, all who drink must suffer.”

“Uh … K-kinda freakin’ me out here.” Bill tried to lean away, but Stan’s hold was inescapable. “And, just sayin’, I’m kinda responsible for making most of the 79 Hells as freaky as they are.”

“Heed my warning, child.”

“I’m heeding! I’m heeding! Elder Gods, Stan, the only one who’s supposed to give people nightmares around here is me …”

Straightening up, Stan went back to the stove to continue what passed for cooking with him. “Once you’re done eatin’, by the way, I gotta plate for you to take down to Ford. He prob’ly needs some food and water more ‘n you do.”

Between mouthfuls of food, Bill said, “Yeah, sure … You seen what we wrote, by the way?”

“Yeah. It’s not bad at all. I’d def’nitely go see movies like that. Might even pay my own money for it, too. Heh … Even Soos admitted the storylines are better. Haven’t seen him that downcast ‘bout anything in a while, either. Looked as painful for him as cutting out his own kidney. Might have to do something nice for him soon just to make up for it,” Stan added to himself.

“Huh … Yeah, maybe …” Bill chewed on his breakfast, almost starting to maybe feel guilty. Then, when he finished, he put his dishes in the sink, picked up what was meant for Ford, and took it down to the lab.

Ford, as usual, was at his desk. He was hunched over with a pen, which was also fairly usual. However, and this was very unusual, all his notes and Journals had been pushed into a corner—neatly stacked, but well out of the way. Close to hand, as if for quick reference, was actually their Cosmos Conflicts storyline.

Bill cleared his throat. “Brought some breakfast for ya from Stan.” He set it on the desk, but away from any of the papers (just in case). “How you feeling? I woke up with a caffeine hangover I couldn’t escape even when I left my body. Er, clonsuit. Whatever. Same dif.”

“… I didn’t really sleep very deeply,” Ford eventually replied, his voice as hoarse as Bill’s. “Ergo, I can’t really say I woke up with such a hangover, but I’m suffering one all the same.”

“Yeesh, that sucks. Taken anything? Had some water and some food? That helped me.”

“Some water and aspirin, yes, though I’m not sure I could keep much food down … I suppose I ought to try, anyway.”

“If you feel more rotten than a two-week-old apple core, why are you working?” Bill asked, sliding the plate closer.

“I’m not really working, per se,” Ford answered guiltily. “Just … sketching. Some stuff. For what we came up with.”

Bill’s eyes lit up with interest. “Ooo! Really? Can I see? Please?”

For a moment, Ford’s jaw worked. As though trying to control himself.

“It’s okay,” Bill said hurriedly, though unable to fully contain his disappointment. “I get it. I’ll leave you al—”

A couple pages’ worth of images (some rough sketches, some little more than absent doodles, and some rather intricate and detailed) were thrust at the Demon. “Here. Can’t see any harm in you looking at them, anyway, so …” Ford mumbled. Without looking up, he cut in to his food. “Was just doing this since I’m too awake and restless to just not do anything, but too … wooly in the head, I suppose you could say, to do any productive work.”

Bill poured over them, delighting in the imaginative whimsy of them. Most were of characters from the prequels, though with distinctive touches—touches reflecting their own collaboration (such as Otherkin in a stained pilot’s attire, Imdolledupa aiming ruthlessly with a blaster, and Jelived Knights wearing a different style of clothing from Jelived Sentinels or Jelived Healers). But some were very different, especially among the doodles. “Ha! You made a Soos Wookie!”

Ford couldn’t resist smiling. “Soosbacca. Co-pilot to Stan Solo.”

“In their spaceship, the Mystery Falcon, right? Is Melody a Wookie, too?”

“Huh … That’s not a bad idea, actually. I was having a hard time seeing how to fit her in, since she isn’t really the Princess Leia type.”

“But Mabel and—pff!—Dipper are?” Bill snorted, pointing to where they were both sketched with the iconic braids wrapping around their ears. “Both of them together?”

“Well, they’re also both Luke, since I couldn’t really pick who fit which roll better.”

“Two sets of the twins running around, huh?” Bill murmured, though he was really thinking about two Dippers (and they weren’t running around, either—they were very much not running). “… And Wendy’s Lando, I see. Am I Yoda, since I’m the most triangular or everybody, and the right size?”

“Uh …” Ford hesitated.

“Pff, it’s alright, I can already see 3PO and R2 are both me.”

Lamely, the Weirdologist explained, “Because you’re shiny. That’s the extent of the logic.”

“You gonna do any more sketches?”

“Assuming I can keep breakfast down, probably,” Ford said around a mouthful. “It’s … distracting. And fun. And relaxing, too. Helps to pass the time on a down day like this.”

“Um … M-mind if I stay and watch? Please?” Bill almost begged. “Y’know how much I love watching you meatbags make art.”

“… Oh, fine,” Ford relented. Because what was the harm in being nice to the Demon? Ford didn’t have to trust him for that. “Just don’t make any noise. My head aches enough as it is.”

Bill mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key before pulling up a chair and settling himself comfortably beside Ford. The only time he broke his silence after that was to ask Ford if he wanted more water, and to assert that the others would get a kick out of seeing these sketches (“especially Soos … the Twins, too, though we’d have to text ‘em a photo of ‘em, or mail the whole project to ‘em to see …”).

All in all, it turned out to be a rather nice day for both of them together.

[videogamelover99]

Waking Days Ch.3 - Vegas Lights

A/N Guess this is back you guys. I’m so glad you’ve been patient with me for so long, and finally this chapter is out. I’m hoping to get posting at least once a month now. For now here’s this chapter.  AU by @doodledrawsthings​. Based on @pengychan​‘s Flat Dreams fic. 

“Please tell me that’s not it.” Dipper knelt down in the grass.

“I’m afraid it is.”

“I doesn’t look too bad.” Mabel said, turning her head with a forced smile on her lips.

“It looks horrible.”

“It’ll be okay.”

Stanford laughed at the twins’ bickering, but the laugh was clearly forced. Over the brief period he and his brother visited Dimension 52 the hole grew even more, now taking on a shifting mess of color, glowing an intimidating red that bathed the rest of the tree in an almost demonic hue. Golden thread wove through both sides of the crevice, the physical representation of the effects of the chronometer. It bore close resemblance to a gaping, bleeding wound, held closed by half-attempted stitches. A leftover memory of Bill Cipher’s terror, not that different from what Ford remembered of the Nightmare Realm. It felt wrong just being there.

The Oracle showed up regularly, if it was just to check up on the rift or on the Pines Ford wasn’t sure, but the being soon became an almost normal presence in the household. The visits of his old friend reassured as much as they troubled the scientist. If anything, he should be glad she had agreed to help, but the frequently worried look on her face made Stanford extremely unnerved. If a being with knowledge of the future wore that look, then certainly things weren’t at all good.

If that wasn’t concerning enough, the way Cipher turned tail and left every time Jheselbraum came around certainly was. Ford would almost feel sorry for him if it wasn’t for, well, everything.

Stan, while quite suspicious at first (‘no, she hadn’t tried to possess me. Do you really think I’d fall for that trick again?’) Had quickly warmed up to the oracle. After trying (and failing) to sell some of his junk to her, the conman had somehow decided she was the next best thing since sliced bread.

…

“I’m rich! Finally!”

It was a cool, misty Sunday morning when Stan suddenly burst through the back door, the poor thing squeaking on its hinges, and tossed a packed-looking duffel bag onto the kitchen table. The other members of the Pines family, who just a few seconds ago were eating breakfast, all stared at the new item in bemusement.

“Uh, Grunkle Stan, what’s with the suitcase?” Dipper finally asked, poking the thing lightly with a finger.

“Ooh, are you going on vacation?” Mabel stood on her chair to get a better look.

“We were on a vacation for nine months.” Stanford pointed out, hardly taking his eyes off of the paperback he was reading.

“Oh yeah, but would you really call battling sea monsters every day a real vacation?” Dipper frowned.

“It is for this family.”

“Okay, no, I’m not going on a vacation, though right now that sounds really tempting.” Stan butted in, reaching over Dipper’s shoulder to unzip the duffel bag. Inside was green, and not the kind you find on trees either.

“Wow.” Mabel whistled appreciatively, looking at the bag full of hundred dollar bills in a newfound light.

“Who’d you rob?” Her brother frowned, peering at the cash with a much more wary look.

“Nobody! Nobody that actually needed it, at least.” the old man shrugged.

Ford finally put down the book, eyeing the money. “This isn’t from that pug trafficking incident you told me about, is it?”

“Hey how’d ya guess?”

“Pug trafficking?” Mabel now looked a lot less awed.

“Hey, don’t worry, Sweetie! I promise no dogs were harmed. Scout’s honor.”

“You were never a scout…” Ford muttered, once again picking up his book.

“So anyway, I’m rich. Who knows what I’m going to do with it?”

“Buy a really expensive perfume?”

“Build a new room for Soos.”

“OOH! Buy a trained tiger!”

“Great pitches kids, but nah.” Stan grabbed one of the handles, pulling the money closer. “There’s one place I’ve been dying to go to. Hadn’t been there since my marriage.”

“You got marri-”

“Anyway, waddaya say, Sixer? Ready for some nightlife? Babes? Action?”

Stanford slowly put the book down, and met his twin’s gaze with his own, steely one. “The universe is falling apart at the seams. Our enemy is living under our roof. And you want to drag me to- to- that-”

“Wow, way to ruin the fun. After thirty years in sci-fi land I’d expected ya to lighten up already.”

“You’re sixty, Stan, not exactly ideal age to go gambling, and we don’t have time for this.” The scientist stood up, tucking his paperback under his arm. “I’m going downstairs to figure out how to save the world. Again. You can do whatever you want.” And just like that, he left, leaving his three family members staring at each other in silence.

“Okay, I coulda handled that better.”

“Uh, Grunkle Stan? Why exactly did you want to take Grunkle Ford to Vegas?” Dipper asked.

“Okay, so, I may or may not owe a giant sum of money to someone-”

“Of course.” Dipper rolled his eyes.

“And gun-slinging backup doesn’t hurt...Also fun.”

“I don’t think he’s the type, Grunkle Stan.” Mabel stated sadly.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Bill is.” Dipper mused.

“Wow, okay, no. Could ya imagine having that monstrosity on a road trip? Ugh, I don’t even wanna think about it.”

The girl snorted. “Yeah, I think I can.”

“Speaking of which, where is the little creeper gone?”

“Uh…” The twins shared a look. Mabel shrugged helplessly. “We should probably find him before he burns down the forest or something.”

“Good point.” And with that the two disappeared, leaving Stan alone with an unfinished piece of toast and a bag full of illegal cash.

“Huh. Is that something I should be concerned about?”

Stanley whirled around, bag suddenly clutched to his chest. “Jesus Christ, lady, give an old man a warning!”

Jheselbraum (he got it right, right?) raised an eyebrow, folding her arms and leaning casually on the edge of the table. “Strange, I do not think that man knew his name was going to turn into something explicit. But I suppose it happens.”

“I- what?”

“Nevermind.” The oracle turned her attention to the bag. “And I’m guessing that was 100% legally acquired?” She couldn’t quite hide the amusement in her voice.

“Oh yes. Absolutely.” Stan gave her a sarcastic grin. That grin slipped away quickly, however, as the cogs in his brain began to turn, suddenly giving him an idea as he eyed the woman in front of him. “Say, what’s yer opinion on road trips?”

…

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.” The alien in the shotgun seat shifted uncomfortably, struggling her best to say annoyed. Stan brought the car into the left lane, quickly passing a truck on the side.

“Really? Ya didn’t exactly seem that reluctant goin’.”

“I- We should be working on closing the rift, not, not galavanting on some weekend quest to pay off a guy you stole from.”

“Hey, who said anything about stealing? I was borrowin’.”

“And i suppose the death threats that he leaves in your voice mail are friendly banter?”

“Aw, you’re being sarcastic. And here I thought you were a stick in the mud.”

“...” Nora sat back in her seat, tossing one leg over the other, and stared out the window. Bits of Oregon wildlife flew past them, forrest green melting into a choppy blir as the car flew by at a grand total of 50 miles an hour. The Stanleymobile really needed to upgrade.

It didn’t take long for Stanley to admit the real reason he was reluctant to go alone. Apparently he was completely willing to blow all of his money by himself. No, what got him concerned about bringing Stanford was not company as much as muscle. Owing a lot of money to a crime boss apparently did that to you.

“And what exactly do you want me to do?” She frowned. “Sit there and look pretty?”

“We-ell.” Stan paused, scratching his cheek with one hand, the other resting on the steering wheel. “You can see the future, right?”

“It’s not that simple.” She frowned. “Also sorry for not seeming that excited, but if you were planning to use that to win some easy money, you’re out of luck. My vision doesn’t work that way.”

“And what’s ‘that way’?”

“Complicated.”

“Fine.”

There was silence. Nora didn't really know why she was so antagonistic toward Stanley. So far, the human hadn’t done anything that would deserve it, if the whole using-her-for-gambling thing didn’t count. But there was something in the back of her mind, an itch that was scratching at her, telling her that the man next to her was not what he seemed.

That was truly ridiculous. She looked into his and his brother’s timeline many times. She knew him, just like the rest of the Pines, like the back of her hand. And yet-

Maybe she just wasn’t used to the company. Back in her own dimension, the Oracle had many people with whom she’d conversed. Many came to the mountain to seek her guidance, and the company was always welcome. But there was always some barrier, a wall between her and the other that prevented her from truly- what? Connecting? She was always there to get wisdom and assistance. It was a long time before she could just speak to someone, without needing to be that.

It felt refreshing, but also slightly off-kilter.

“Y’know, that’s not the only reason I wanted to bring Sixer.” Stan’s voice made the woman turn back to him, her thoughts pushed back into a jumbled mess for the time being.

“Oh?”

“He just- hasn’t been sleeping for a while, y’know? And I thought- ‘hey, great idea. Let’s get him to ignore the second end of the world for a while’. Didn’t exactly work, but it’s the thought that counts, right?”

Nora sighed through her nose. “Your brother isn’t like that. You know it.”

“Yeah...yeah.”

“He’s very determined. Very passionate. That isn’t a bad thing.” The woman brought her hands up to fiddle with her pendant, lost in thought. “But it can easily get out of hand.”

“Yeah, I get what ya mean.” Stan frowned, staring straight at the road ahead. “You know, he called me too old to go gambling.”

The woman paused for a moment. “I am one trillion years old, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Huh...wow. Uh...you look younger than your years?”

“Thanks.”

“Though maybe if you stop dressing like it’s the war time…”

The oracle frowned, wrinkling out her skirt. “What’s wrong with the way I dress?”

“Nothing! Way better than wearing a wizard robe, anyway. Just looks like you came straight from the 1940s, is all.”

“Uh huh.”

“Oh hey, by the way, it’s Nora, right?”

“...yes.”

“Huh.” Stan snorted. “Knew a gal named Nora once. Real pain in my ass. You’ve got a lot in common.

Nora rolled her eyes. “Keep driving.”

“Sure thing.”

…

The first thing to assault her eyes were the lights. Hundreds of them, bright neon and colorful, hanging on buildings, advertising food, hotels, casinos. People stood on the sidewalks and threw pamphlets at tourists and passersbys, cards containing contact info of strippers and nightclubs, people yelling, cars honking aggressively, music blaring from hidden speakers, fountain jets raining down, illuminated by multicolor lights. There was so much, too much, it was overwhelming- Nora couldn’t look away. That man on the street- wife walked out on him, having a midlife crisis, taking it out on the girl next to him. The girl- adulterer, before she was even eighteen, raised in the middle of nowhere, wanted a life. What she got was angry drunkards and little pay. The woman on the street, tugging her child after her- married, on vacation, is about to meet her oldest daughter after a year apart. Every person, every place and every conversation had something to offer her, a troubled past, and hopeful or depressing future...She was used to this, used to the rapid fire of her predictions, fates intertwining, alternating, branching out into infinite different scenarios. But there was just so much...

“So, uh, what’d ya think? Worth the trip?”

Nora jumped, whipping around to look at Stanley hero, brother, savior, liar- “Uhh, it’s...something?”

“Come on! City of chance, of risk and it’s ‘something’?”

“It’s just...it’s a lot.”

…

After hustling into the hotel, via underground parking, Stan elbowed his way through the long, carpeted corridors of the hotel lobby, his companion trailing a few paces behind him, looking around at the crowd with wide eyes. The receptionist at the desk eyed both of them with a bored expression. Checking in was the easy part. Trying not to get jumped by a crime boss was another. Stan eyed his phone as he led Nora to the elevators, the bag of cash, discretely covered up by as stack of dirty clothes, over his shoulder. Floor 19 7pm. See me. The vague text sent an uncomfortable prickling feeling down his spine. He’d faced the end of the world, and yet the threat of organized crime still rubed him the wrong way. Call it bad memories. Being stuck in the trunk of a car for 31 hours could do that. He needed to make this quick and high tail outta here. And, Stan quickly reassured himself, he wouldn’t exactly be alone.

Though looking over at the oracle, who now eyed the fancy furniture and decoration with with annoyance, Stan wondered just how much faith he could put in his new inter-dimensional buddy. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, per say, hell, he’d trust her over the angry yellow demon any day. Still, there was something off about her. Something that Stanley’s instincts had to remind him constantly of. Just how much did Ford really know about this woman? And who said she was who she said she was? Call him paranoid, but when was he not? Came with the trade, so to speak.

“So who are you meeting with? And how much can I bet on your survival?” Nora jumped up on the bed, the obscene amount of comforters bouncing under her weight.

“Nice to get some reassurance for once. And couldn’t you just look and see, anyway? Don’t you know the future?”

“I could…” she shrugged, “but it wouldn’t tell me anything. Not really.”

Well that was vague as hell.

The man grumbled, shouldering his duffel bag. “So your one superpower is basically useless. Well why the hell did I bring ya here then?!”

“That’s what I’ve been asking.”

Stan sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Look, just...I’ma go and had ‘im the cash, hopefully won’t get jumped, and you, uh...do whatever you wanna do. I don’t know, watch TV or something.”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

“What question? Okay, bye!”

And he ran out, slamming the door behind him as he did.

…

He did not find the guy. The vague text message was the only thing he got, and after about an hour of scouting the corridor of Floor 19 Stan finally gave up and shrugged it off, deciding that the cash should be good for something, and made his way downstairs for the one thing this place was truly famous for.

...

“Hey buddy.”

Stan scraped up his tokens and grinned at the speaker lazily. “Yeah?”

The man looked like he was in his late thirties, his face still free of any wrinkles. Dark hair framed his long, oval-shaped face, a pair of expensive-looking spectacles sitting on his hook-shaped nose. “I see you’ve got quite a streak going. I won’t bother you, but I was wondering if you’d be interested in a game against me?”

“What kinda game?”

The man grinned, a golden tooth glinting in the dim lighting. “A game of opportunity.”

“Huh.” Stan watched the man grab a free table, sitting down and gesturing at the older man to follow suit. “I think I like ya already.” He sat down opposite. “So what d’ya want to bet on? Start small?”

The man was still smiling, something that Stan would find unnerving without the buzz of alcohol. “Oh no. There’s a loss far worse than money you can recover. Of course, I’d be needing the same in return.” He leaned in closer. “Time is much more precious than money, my friend.”

It was poker. It was literally just poker, and looking back, Stan kinda wished it wasn’t. Looking at a mystical game of chess or some kind of enchanted contest of weirdness would at least be bearable. His ego would still be intact. But poker? No, even the price of what he lost could not compare to just how humiliated he felt losing at the thing he was best at. But Stan lost, and the man just swept up all at chips, the subdued smile never leaving his stupid, pointy face. “Such a shame, really. I had honestly hoped I’d finally found a worthy opponent. You were close, my friend, but them’s the breaks.”

Stan briefly tore his hands away from his face to sigh, looking at everything but the man. “So what? You said we weren’t betting on cash. Just tell me what ya want so I can go already, you sleazy bastard.”

The man’s face warped into something truly sinister, his smirk spreading across his face. “I already took it, my friend.”

Suddenly, Stan felt like he was hit on the head with something impossibly heavy. Everything spun, his limbs felt incredibly weak, and as he stood up on wobbly legs he felt his spine curve downward a lot more than before. His eyesight was just awful, and it didn’t clear even as he rubbed his eyes. The skin on his hands felt thin and papery, and as the man slowly stumbed out of his seat and towards the hotel elevator, he knew that something was terribly, terribly wrong.

...

While Stanley went off on his quest to pay back what appeared to be the mafia, Nora realized there wasn’t really anything to do for her, not really. Watching television was like subjecting herself to a primitive form of mind-control. She could, of course, meditate, but that grew harder and harder the more time she spent on earth. Everything else was too distracting, too bright and loud for her to find that small empty space to bury her thoughts in. They just came crashing back in after she dispersed them, assaulting her with visions and worries and questions that she, for once, did not want answers to. She’d agreed to come here, why? To get away from Bill, was the immediate answer, but that didn’t work out the way she had wanted it to. Now instead of Bill there was Stanley. Stanley, who argued and made poor excuses and laughed at his won lame jokes in a way that made Nora’s heart ache. It was new, but incredibly familiar, like a case of deja-vu that did not end in a few seconds, but only strengthened every time Stan threw some banter her way. Honestly she’d have preferred Bill sulking around somewhere to this, this open interaction she didn’t have for so, so many years. It wasn’t until Ford’s brother left that she could finally start to sort it all out in her own head.

There was some scrambling behind the door. Nora sighed, opening her eyes. For a second she thought it was the mafia, but as the rest of her five eyes granted her a brief vision, she realized that was not the case. Something was terribly wrong.

The Oracle flung the door open, and a man tumbled into her, almost bringing both of them to the ground. A raspy voice whispered curses under his breath, and Nora finally recognized her human friend. Slowly, she closed the door with her free hand, using the other to help the man onto the bed. 

...

“What. Did you do.”

“We-ell, I, uh, hey you know how it is. The city of lights and all that, hadda at least give it a go-” There was a cough, but the voice did not clear up, just as ragged.

“...”

“A-and look, I thought I had pretty good odds, y’know? Been here more than you can count, have way more luck than imaginable, so, y’know…”

“Stanley, please tell me you didn’t make a bet with a god.”

Stan looked to the side, hands fiddling on his lap, and tried to ignore the sudden vicious pain in his back. And the ache in his joints. And the sudden rattle that appeared in his breath. “I can explain.”

Nora glared at him, the pointed look twice as terrifying. “Oh yes please do.”

“So, uh, there was this guy-”

“Oh who am I kidding! I should have known you would do this.” The woman threw her hands up, pacing back and forth in the suite. “I did know you would do this. But I didn’t- I didn’t think this you would be that stupid.”

“Alright, point taken! Now would ya stop trying to insult me every five sec- agh!” The con-man hunched over, his speech suddenly interrupted but a long coughing fit. It tore at his throat and made his chest ache like nothing he had ever felt before. Great. This is how I die. Over a stupid bet.

Wasn’t that how he expected to die, anyway?

The Oracle rolled her eyes, waiting until the hacking stopped and Stan regained his breath. “Right, don’t talk.”

“I got it.” He whined back, his body still fighting to cough up his own lungs.

“So, there was a man? And I suppose he offered you a drink?”

Stan shook, pounding his chest with all the strength his now frail arms could give him. “Was already drunk.”

A frustrated sigh. “And I suppose after you got hammered he offered you a deal?”

“A bet.” he coughed out.

Nora sighed. “But not for money.” She sat down next to him, shoulders hunched over.

“Oh yeah! He said somethn’ all mysterious-y, something like ‘You have-’”

“A loss far worse you can recover.” She finished for him. “I know what timeline this is.”

“Yeah, exactly that...You’re worse than my mother.”

She cracked a smile. “I’m an oracle. I’m worse than anyone’s mother.” Then she frowned. “You look terrible, by the by.”

“Thanks, I kinda guessed.” Stan slowly slid off the couch, straightening his back and heading toward the bathroom at a steady pace. “Well, time to see how well I-”

The scream and crash that came out from behind the door startled Nora to her feet. “Are you alright?”

“I’m hideous!”

“Well, yes.”

His hair was white. Pure white, like a blank sheet of paper or the way the goat looked whenever Mabel was in a mood for playing dress-up. It was still there, thank God, but looked a lot thinner than it did only a few hours ago. The wrinkles that started showing up around the time he hit 40 were somehow only deepened, the now grey-ish skin sagging in places and folding up in others. What was once his face now seemed wrong, an unwarranted glimpse into what he should not be able to see, a punch of an existential crisis right in the gut, a-

“Stanley? Are you alright in there?”

Stan slowly backed away from the mirror, away from- that, shuffling out  of the bathroom with more effort than should have been necessary.

Nora stared up at him from the edge of the bed.

“I think I just aged thirty years in one day. And man, I wish that was a joke.”

The Oracle sighed, casting her eyes somewhere Stan couldn’t follow, “You’d bartered on the thirty years you wanted back. And you lost.” She stared at him dead in the eye. “What did you think would happen?”

“I didn’t think anything! That guy-” Stan cut himself off, doubling into a wracking cough that made his aged body hurt in all the places he didn’t know he had.

“Careful, don’t have a heart attack, you’re ninety-two already.” Nora muttered under her breath, and the man wondered if that was a joke, too. “Okay, here’s what’s going to happen.” She stood up, carefully guiding Staney to the armchair in the corner, helping him sit. “You are going to stay here, and hopefully not die by the time I get back. And I,” she stepped back, something settling in her gaze that made the con man shift a little. It was at that moment that he really saw something ancient before him, more ancient than even he felt like right now, and that thought chilled him to the bone. “I’m going to fix this.”

Stan blinked. “Got a plan more detailed than that?”

“Yes.”

“...Care to explain.”

Nora rolled her eyes. “The man that aged you, he’s most likely a lesser god or some kind of spirit. I’ve seen a couple of his type before, but never this bold. Anyway, their ‘deal’ is time. More correctly, lifespan. They barter and bet on the victim’s years, the mortal hoping to gain a few more decades on this plane of existence. Of course, it’s rigged, and the mortal always loses. This kind of gambling, ‘life gambling’, is banned in about 5 billion dimensions. This one as well. Still, I suppose Earth is remote enough to not me noticed by interdimensional relations. Or so they thought.”

“So, okay, he’s some kind of demon life gambler? What’s the point of taking time away though? Does he sell it?”

The Oracle smiled. “No, though that would be a feat to see. They consume it, the life force they take from people. Old gods have so few followers that their powers deplete to almost nothing. The only way they can keep themselves immortal is feeding off regular people.” She shrugged. “Though some of them do it for fun. Life force is still a lot of energy, after all.”

“And you’re- what? Gonna call the space cops on him? Take him for a night on the town?”

“Honestly, who do you take me for?” The Oracle straightened up, turning to head out the door, a smile already forming on her lips. “I’m going to beat him at his own game.”

[andrewmoocow]

Gravity Soul chapter 7: The Excalibur Filler, Are We All Fools? (originally posted on April 21, 2018)

AN: Last time on Gravity Soul, our heroes begin their search for Pacifica but suddenly an old enemy of Maka and company makes her dastardly debut! After a hard-fought battle, Medusa splits the team apart and sends them tumbling towards different parts of the forest. The team consisting of the Stan twins, Wendy, Death the Kid and his Demon Weapons the Thompsons find themselves upon a particular cave where they meet a certain annoying Holy Sword. Hilarity ensues. 6-15-15-12-19!

"Ugh my head, where are we?" Stan groaned rubbing his head as he got up from his fall. "Anyone okay here? Use the hand signal if yes!" Suddenly Ford rose up shaking his head as well. "Now what was that signal again?" the scientist wondered. "Oh, I know!" Patty cried getting up. Rather than making an OK symbol, she clapped her hands, formed her hand into a peace symbol, then into an OK symbol before putting it over her eyes. "I think that was the "I can see your underwear" one." "Dammit, be serious everyone!" Ford exclaimed in frustration. "No egghead, she's right. Your underwear is showing!" Liz stated pointing to his pants, in which they began to drop down a bit. "Oh my goodness, thanks for the heads up!" Ford hastily pulled them up and secured them with his belt. "Now where are we?" "I think we're somewhere near a cave." Wendy guessed pointing at one hidden behind a waterfall and a few bushes here and there. Although it did look gorgeous, there was still the task at hand. "Do you think it might lead us to something useful?" Death the Kid asked examining the cave entrance. "I dunno, let's get in there!" Stan began marching into the cave with the others following close behind, except for Kid who was clinging onto a nearby tree branch. "Hey, this is no time to climb up trees!" "No, I simply refuse to walk into that cave. I'll get wet." Kid stated continuing to grab onto the branch. "Okay then, climb onto my back." Wendy offered. The young shinigami complied leaping down and jumping onto the redhead's back before they finally proceeded. "I have a bad feeling about this." he said.

Traversing further into the cave, the team felt an air of mystery surround them as if something fantastic would await them. But Kid on the other hand felt a heavy amount of deja vu smack him in the face as he watched the fairies fly about. "Something seems awfully familiar about this cave." he mused trying his hardest not to fall off of Wendy. "Almost like we are in for a world of pure obnoxiousness." "Oh please Stripes, I got enough of that from Gideon last summer." Stan sneered smacking a fairy onto his back. "But we seem to be close, these winged things seem to be spreading." Suddenly one fairy flew before them with a benign expression on her face. "Greetings travelers, what happens to bring you here?" "Yeah Crysta, you know where we can find something that can help us kill a merged monstrosity?" Wendy asked. The fairy's face then contorted before them, her eyes darting to one side, gritted teeth showing, her nose completely vanishing only leaving behind the nostrils and wrinkles appearing all over before she flew away in a hurry. "Wait a minute Kid, didn't you and Black Star make that face before?" Ford asked Kid, who was now frozen in fear. "Oh no, not him! Anyone but him again!" he began panicking before making his decision. "That is it, we are leaving right now!" He then leaped off of Wendy not even caring about getting wet and stomped back towards the cave entrance before Stan grabbed him by the shirt collar. "Oh no you don't squirt, you're coming with us whether you like it or not!" he yelled dragging him through the water while Liz and Patty led the way. "I already told you I'd get wet!" the symmetry-obsessed boy cried. "Who cares, we are finding this whatsit and getting outta here!" Finally making it to a domed chamber with a small stone platform in the middle and a sword implanted in it, Stan immediately got excited. "Neato, a sword! We could definitely use one of these!" he cried walking onto the platform and pulling on the weapon. "Good grief this is tough! Someone give me a lift here!" he called before Ford stepped up and grabbed the handle of the sword as well. "Now what could a sword be doing here?" "Yo when you get that out, can I have it as a souvenir?" Wendy asked. "No Wendy, no one's taking it as a souvenir unless you value your sanity!" Kid shouted pointing at her before trying to make a mad dash for the brothers. "DOOOO-OOOON'T PUUUU-UUULL IIIII-IIITTTT!" But he was too late. Stan and Ford finally pulled the sword free and it shone heavenly upon them. "CONGRATULATIONS TRAVELERS! I AM EXCALIBUR, THE GREATEST AND MOST STRONGEST WEAPON OF ALL!" a voice boomed for everyone to hear. "AS A REWARD FOR PULLING ME FROM THE STONE, I SHALL NAME ONE OF YOU MY NEW MEISTER!" The light descended upon the twins and gave way to reveal a small white creature standing before them. The creature had no mouth to speak of, his only facial features being a rather long nose and a pair of eyes staring blankly at the Pines. He wore a white top hat on his head with a matching frilled ruff & jacket and held a cane in his non-existent hand. "That's it, this is Excalibur?! Kinda expected him to be taller!" Stan commented trying to hold back laughter while his brother gazed in awe. "I cannot believe it, the sword of King Arthur himself, and we pulled it out of the stone!" "FOOL!" Excalibur shouted spooking the twins. "Why yes, I am indeed Excalibur, the strongest weapon in the world formerly wielded by King Arthur. And I see you've brought an old friend too." He then turned his gaze to Kid, already cringing at the sight of him. "Please Excalibur, I insist that I interview you!" Ford exclaimed dropping to his knees in excitement. "I want all the details, like Merlin, the Knights of the Round Table, the Holy Grail-" "FOOL! You're asking too much sir." the sword stated smacking Ford with his cane, making his nose jiggle. "So what makes you so afraid of him Kid? Other than actually being pretty rude." Wendy asked. "He must have some kind of latent power to incite anger in those he comes across!" Kid deduced pounding his fist into his palm. "Plus, he is of course disgustingly obnoxious. But I don't know what he is doing here, he's supposed to be in the Eternal Cave." "Why this is my summer home, it is very nice this time of year." Excalibur stated spinning around in a circle. "Now then my six-fingered muchacho, you said you wanted to hear my story?" he asked pointing his cane at Ford. "Why yes! Please tell us sir." Ford sat down on the platform and began listening intently to the sword's tale while the others did their own thing. "My legend dates back to the 12th century. It began on an intensely hot midsummer's day. Wait, it was a chilly autumn's day..."

"Grunkle Stan, Ford, Wendy, Kid! Where are you?" Dipper called for the aforementioned people as he, Mabel, Waddles, Maka, Soul and Crona scoured the forest for them. "They couldn't have gone far. We gotta get them back before we can continue on to Kishin Cipher." Maka declared. "Yeah but at this rate, what chance do we have? I mean, we've seen how strong Medusa's gotten thanks to him!" Soul replied. "Chances are whatever else he's gonna throw at us is gonna waste our asses!" "Don't say that Soul," Crona said. "even if the odds are against us, I know we can win in the end." he said before Ragnarok interjected. "Now that's my boy! You've grown much braver!" he shouted harshly rubbing his head. "Hey, stop it Ragnarok!" "But how can we contact anyone else now? She destroyed our flashlight and now we're separated from the others." Mabel wondered before she suddenly got an idea. "Wait, I think I have a sweater for that!" She took off her current shooting star sweater before swapping it with a lightbulb design that actually functioned as a light source when she pressed it. "Wow, that's really efficient!" Maka exclaimed. "Though don't you think it might become a fire hazard?" "No, it's a fun hazard." Mabel boldly declared. "Now let's get the band back together!" She raced off deeper into the woods before the others followed in hot pursuit. "We're coming guys!"

In another dark part of the forest, Soos, Melody, McGucket and Stein were trying to find a way out while Spirit panicked for his daughter. "Oh what am I going to do?! What if my little Maka is hurt or even dead?! This forest is just so dangerous, there could be predators or criminals out here!" Suddenly his worrying was silenced by Blair. "Oh don't worry big guy, I'm sure Maka's group is fine!" the sexy Monster Cat assured him. "Besides, she's still super strong!" "Oh thanks Blair." Spirit gratefully thanked her. "By the way, why were you so quiet lately?" he asked. "I dunno, I just couldn't find the right thing to say." Meanwhile Soos and Stein were trying to contact the others. "So what do you suppose we do doc?" the former handyman asked. "Why don't we just use the flashlight?" Melody suggested. "That is a great idea Ms. Melody. In fact, I'll try it right now." Stein pulled out the tool and turned it on for about a few seconds before it suddenly flickered out and died. "What the?!" "Sorry 'bout that dude, but if it makes you feel any better I packed spare batteries!" Soos tried to cheer him up by sifting through his backpack but finding no spares. "Oh right, I used up most of them for my radio." He pulled out a radio and turned on some music. "Am I blanchin'? Girl we blanchin'! I live up in a mansion!" "That actually is quite catchy, but let us not distract ourselves." Stein stated. "I suggest we sit here and wait until someone finds us." Just as he spoke, they spotted a faint light in the distance, which upon further inspection turned out to come from a sweater Mabel was wearing as Dipper, Maka, Soul, Crona and Waddles followed her. "Soos, Dr. Stein!" "Dudes! You're safe!" Soos cried scooping the twins in his arms. "Thought we lost you there." he said before Melody joined in on the hug and Blair glomped Soul. "I've missed you too Soul! I was worried you were hurt something fierce or-" "MAKA CHOP!" Maka screamed slapping Soul silly. "Okay, enough stalling. Now we need to find the others and proceed on our mission." Dipper stated. "Let's move out everyone!" With that, the nearly reassembled crew set off to find the other members.

"The one thousand provisions of the Holy Sword Excalibur. #618. When ordering food at a restaurant, always ask for many plates of breadsticks." Team Stan and Excalibur were now sitting at a fancy restaurant calmly waiting for their waiter to arrive. "So you brought us here to this place just so you can get some breadsticks?" Stan asked before the stereotypically French waiter arrived at their table. "Allo allo allo, vat can I get you?" "Okay, I'll have some linguini with a side of tea, Earl Grey, hot." Ford stated. "My scoundrel of a brother here will take some ratatouille. Our dark-haired companion and his fair maidens shall have the escargot, symmetrical of course and finally Ms. Corduroy will have the beef bourguignon." "Anything else mousier?" the waiter asked jotting down their order. "No, I think that's it." Wendy said before Excalibur hit her with his cane. "FOOL! You forgot one thing." he declared. "All right fine. The little guy here will take some breadsticks." "Make that 20 plates of breadsticks garcon." the Holy Sword added. "Mon dieu, that many?!" the waiter gasped. "Oh well, I shall make a note of it." He walked away leaving the patrons at their table. "Seriously, twenty breadsticks? Isn't that a little excessive?" Liz asked before she got a cane to the face. "FOOL! Nothing is too excessive." "I don't want to know what the bill will be like." Kid deadpanned. "Once they come with it, I suggest we say thanks for the food then run for it." Stan suggested. "#202. I can only accept the grandest of toilets." "Are you done yet Excalibur?! Other people need to go too!" Stan cried pounding on the door of a large duck where the sword did his business. "In fact, how can a guy like him go to the john when he doesn't have a hoo-ha or uh-oh?" "I can't take it anymore Grunkle Stan! I have to go now!" Dipper cried behind him doing a potty dance. "Just go behind a tree kid, simple as that!" "I get he wants his privacy," Ford stated standing before the duck. "but isn't this a bit much?" As it turned out, the duck had taken up a small part of Gravity Falls. "#75, Excalibur's birthday, which is everyday by the way, shall be celebrated in grand style." "Wait, everyday?! You must be like really old then!" Wendy exclaimed. "So what kind of cake do you prefer?" Stan asked looking over a catalogue of confectionary treats. "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, banana, carrot, coconut, devil's food-" Suddenly Excalibur cut him off. "All of the above! It is my birthday after all."

"Black Star? Tsubaki?" Dipper called out for the ninja and his weapon. "Gideon?! Where are you guys?!" "Should we search for Stan and Kid first?" McGucket inquired crawling behind them. "You know, you've got a good point McG. Why don't we find them first?" Mabel responded. "We'll save them for last. Right now we need to get Team #4 back." Dipper stated. "Yeah but aren't we going out of order? Three comes before four y'know." Soos added. "Ditto." Soul replied. "Okay, change of plans. We'll find Stan, Ford and Kid first then Black Star and Gideon." the boy changed his mind and looked onward. "But where could they be?" Suddenly they heard a faint voice singing. "Excalibur, Excalibur! From the United King, I'm looking for heaven, I'm going to California!" the voice crooned. "What is that?" Maka wondered. "I think I know that voice from anywhere." Stein announced before his face distorted in disgust. "It's Excalibur." "Wait, the Excalibur?! As in King Arthur's sword?!" Dipper exclaimed cheerfully. "Please, I have got to see it in person, I just have to!" Just then, Stein simply commanded him to stop talking. "I admire your enthusiasm Dipper, but just so you know Excalibur can be very abrasive which explains why he doesn't have too many Meisters." "Yeah I have to agree dude, that face he made really gives me a bad feeling about this." Soos agreed with the strongest Meister before attempting to imitate the Excalibur face. "Y'know for some reason I can't make it myself." he stated. "Well we got no time to waste, let's find the others and get back on track!" Melody declared walking away from the group before the others followed her.

"#452, attendance of my five-hour story telling party is absolutely mandatory." Every character that has and will eventually appear in this story were now gathered around Excalibur while he told a story that went on for quite a while. As he continued narrating, the audience grew smaller over time until only Ford and Dipper were left. "That is all!" the sword declared to his two-man audience applauding his tale.

"Now if I were a wrinkly old man in a dark forest, where would I be?" Gideon pondered as he, Ghost Eyes, Black Star and Tsubaki searched the woods for the rest of the Mystery Meisters. "Probably taking a whiz, what else?" Black Star answered. "Or perhaps he just gave up and went back to the Shack." Ghost Eyes added. "I don't really think so guys. Mr. Pines may be old, but he most certainly isn't a quitter." Tsubaki disagreed with them. "Besides, did you see how he fought Medusa?! And he's only like fifty-something years old!" "Yep, a fifty-something year old man who found a way to ruin my reputation last summer." Gideon snarked before he pulled out their flashlight and flickered it twice to signal help. Suddenly it began to give out and finally died. "Uh, did we pack any batteries?" "Actually, I think Soos used up most of them." Black Star guessed before he randomly bumped straight into Soul, who was already with the twins, Maka and Crona. "Wait, Soul?!" he exclaimed staring at his friend. "Black Star?" "SOUL!" Black Star cried as the two ran towards each other with tears in their eyes and cherry blossom petals flying around before hugging tightly, still crying. "I thought you were a goner bro!" the last of the Star Clan sobbed. "Me too buddy!" Suddenly, the two of them were shot in the head by none other than Death the Kid. "Oops, finger slipped again. My mistake." "Kid? Then that must mean..." Mabel gasped before her great uncles and Wendy came into view behind him. "Hey kids, sorry it took so long." Stan nervously apologized before Dipper and Mabel rushed into their arms. "We were worried sick, where were you two?" the alpha twin asked. "Well we found this cave that had all these little fairies and this little annoying thing in a hat." Stan replied. "Oh look, here he comes now!" "Wait, little annoying thing in a hat? Oh no!" Black Star panicked before he found none other than Excalibur stepping out of the night shadows of the forest. "Long time no see!" the sword benignly greeted the party. "OH HELL NOOOOO!" Black Star screamed at the top of his lungs, echoing throughout the forest before Tsubaki stuck her hand over her partner's mouth. "Be quiet Black Star, Kishin Cipher could still be watching us." "So why did you bring him with you?!" Black Star demanded incredulously removing his weapon's hand and glaring at Black Star. "FOOL!" Excalibur shouted as usual. "Why it's actually the other way around. In exchange for learning my 1000 provisions, I would help your companions find you guys and here we are." "I can't believe it, the very Excalibur wielded by King Arthur! I have like a jillion questions for you!" Dipper exclaimed getting incredibly excited before he finally collapsed. "Hey Dipper, you all right?" Wendy asked waking him up. "Oh I'm fine Wendy. So how was meeting Excalibur." And that was when she, Stan, Ford and Kid all made the Excalibur face. "Painful." they answered. "And I guess we're pretty much stuck with him." Liz added transforming back into her human form. "And trust me, I've dealt with Patty's childishness and Kid's disorders to know how to survive this." "No time to waste everyone, let's find Pacifica!" Patty shouted transforming as well and pointing onward. "Yes, follow me everyone!" Excalibur exclaimed letting his cane lead the way. "For your information Excalibur, Dipper and I are supposed to be the leaders." Maka stated before she got a whack to the head from the Holy Sword. "FOOL! I actually know this town from top to bottom for some reason, so let me be the leader." As the Mystery Meisters dreadfully followed the Holy Sword onward to the former Northwest Mansion, a wolflike creature with a frog perched on its head watched them from behind a tree, its left eye glowing a hellish red and fangs showing as it snarled.

"Master Kishin Cipher, the enemy has now been led astray. There is no doubt your master plan will go uninterrupted." Medusa reported back to a large sack hanging under the hole in the roof before a crystal ball appeared from out of nowhere and showed the Mystery Meisters now reunited and on their way. "I greatly apologize for failing you oh great God of Weirdness and Madness, please tell me what I should do to redeem myself." There was dead silence until Kishin Cipher telepathically installed a new order within the witch's mind. "Understood." she accepted and walked over to the now lowered cage containing Pacifica Northwest. "Wake up little one." The former rich girl awoken and rubbed her eyes to find the witch towering over her with a cold frown on her face. "W-what are you going to do with me?" she whimpered curling up into a ball and trying to scoot away from her. "Why it's simple Llama," Medusa answered, her stoic expression turning into a manic grin. "we're going to prepare you.”

And that was Chapter 7, the aptly named Excalibur chapter! Just what is Medusa going to prepare Pacifica for and will our brave band of heroes save her in time while surviving Excalibur?! Find out on the next chapter of Gravity Soul! Review or I'll take your soul.

[hntrgurl13]

Writing Promts: Adeline's birthday surprize

“Grunkle Stan? How many candles should we put on the cake?” Mabel was leaning above a large birthday cake that she and her great uncle had spent the entire morning baking. She had an armful of candles waiting to be placed. 

“Twenty- um… No wait…. Fifty- uh… Geez, I’m not sure. Put however many you want to, sweetie.” Stan and Soos were putting up decorations around the yard. Streamers and balloons hung all around the place. Unfortunately, they were all Halloween themed since that’s all the store had to offer. 

“Good thing Addi’s favorite color’s orange, huh, Mr. Pines?” Soos was putting up a giant banner saying “Happy ??th Birthday, Addi!”. 

Didn’t really help that with the time travel and everything that there was no way to thoroughly determine how old Adeline Marks actually was. She’d physically still be in her 20′s but year wise, she’d be in her 50′s. This was her first birthday since showing up in 2012, so the subject had never really been brought up.

“I suppose it’s a bit of a conundrum on it’s own” Stanford had said. “If we looked at it at certain perscpectives, it can go either way. Of course, we don’t know every single rule when it comes to time travel. For all we know, Addi could remain her current age forever. Or even age rapidly at any given moment in order to “catch up” to the current time. Or she could age faster internally but continually age normally externally. There are all kinds of possibilities and outcomes. We just have to wait and see what happens.” 

That hadn’t been very encouraging to Adeline herself, who’d insisted on not making a big deal out of her birthday. Addi hadn’t been looking forward to this day. It was just a reminder of what had happened to her all those years ago. And just how uncertain her future was going to be. She had even visited an old friend of hers that was phsycic, the real kind and not a cheap parlor trick, and even SHE was unable to tell Addi how or when her life would cut to an end. 

So instead of keeping Addi around the house to be cooped up or watch the others decorate, Stanford had taken Addi to go visit Fiddleford and Tate along with some of the anomalies they had known since she first arrived at Gravity Falls. A trip down memory lane to try and make her feel better about everything.  Ford had insisted that it just be him and Adeline even though Dipper wanted to come as well. 

“I know you want to help, Dipper, but I think it’d just be better if it were just people from back in the day. Consider it a reunion. You wouldn’t want to go to your parent’s high school reunion, would you?” 

Dipper sighed. “No. Probably not…” He slouched a bit as Ford ruffled the thirteen year old’s hair. 

“We’ll bring you along for the next one, alright?” 

“Okay. Thanks, Great Uncle Ford.” Dipper looked over at Addi who looked completely depressed. This was also the first birthday she’d have here without Shifty, her adoptive son, around. Dipper gave a concerned frown. “You sure she’ll be okay?”

“Positive.  She just needs some time away with friends. Just stay here and make sure everyone else doesn’t go too overboard with the decorations.” 

Addi must have overheard them and joined the conversation. 

“I’ll be fine. I promise. Just the “getting older blues”. Nothing to worry about. But thanks for being concerned, Dipper. I appreciate it.” She gave Dipper a quick heartfelt hug and soon they were out the door.

That was a few hours ago. They’d be coming back home anytime now. 

“Hurry up, Mabel! They’ll be back soon and this has to be perfect!” Dipper already had the rest of the food for the party layed out and organized. 

“Keep your pants on! I’m trying to get all these candles lit!” 

Mabel was meticulously lighting each candle on the cake. This wouldn’t have been a problem normally. But in this case, Mabel couldn’t decide on how many candles to put on the cake… so she put ALL of them on.

“MABEL! How many candles did you put on there?!” Dipper’s voice cracked as he panicked.

“Hey, Grunkle Stan said I could put on as many as I want. So I did! Addi missed 30 years of birthdays! We gotta make this one special! 

“By putting a layer of candles on top of the cake?! It’s going to take forever to light these!” 

A grin grew on Stan’s face. 

“Hold on, I’ve got this covered.” He went into the house without another word.

Dipper groaned and pulled out a to do list.

“Okay so we have food, refreshments, decorations, and the cake… What about presents?”

“Don’t worry about it, bro bro.” Mabel pulled out a blue scrapbook she had been working on for the last couple of days. She opened it up to reveal a ton of Polaroid pictures, some starting from 1977 to that very day. 

“Where did you get all these pictures?”

“Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford and a bunch of other people around town gave me all kinds of pictures. I thought it’d be nice if Addi had an album of all the stuff from back then and see everything she missed. Everyone even signed it at the end! Well, except you, of course.” Mabel handed Dipper a marker and directed him to the very last page where there had yet to be a picture. He smiled and signed.

“This is a grea idea, Mabel!”

“What can I say? I AM, after all, an arts and crafts genius.” Mabel ran her hand through her hair much like their friend Pacifica used to. 

Dipper rolled his eyes and jumped as Stan emerged from the Mystery Shack sporting a flame thrower.

“Time to light some candles!” Stan got a michievous smile on his face and started up the flame thrower.

“GRUNKLE STAN, DON’T!!!” The twins yelled in unison before flames shot out towards the cake and the entire party.

Ford and Addi were walking back up to the house with smiles on their faces. Having that visit with everyone had been a good idea. 

“Thanks for taking me out to visit everyone, Stanford. I really needed it.” She smiled at her friend.

“You’re welcome. See, I told you that that’d cheer you up.”

Addi laughed. 

“Yeah, it’s nice to see that not everything’s changed. Fiddleford is still the southern kook we know and love. And I’m glad to see how everyone else has been. We’ve all been pretty busy. What with you and Stan planning your big sailing trip and me trying to figure out what I’m going to do.”

“Well you’re already going to be the representative for the anamolies when it comes to Gravity Falls stuff. It’s good that you’re going to be working with both normal citizen’s and… well… not so normal.”

“Yeah. But I still want to do more research, especially while you’re gone. Maybe I can still be your research assistant from here. Like if you need someone to read up on some things or do stuff on the “internet”. I still want to help you out when I can.”

Ford smiled gently.

“I’d like that. And we can talk with that two way portal mirror we found back in ‘79! It’d have a better signal than any phone I’d have.”

“Yeah! This can actually work out!”

“Yeah- OH MY GOSH!”

They finally arrived at the house to see everything either up in flames or covered in extinguisher fluid. Stan was using the fire extinguisher on what looked like a flame thrower while the kids and Soos poured water on the much smaller flames. 

“What the heck happened here?!” Ford seemed both confused and furious. They’d only been gone for a few hours and the outside of his house was up in flames. 

“Sorry, it’s all my fault. I had the bright idea of lighting candles with a flame thrower…” Stan put out the remainder of the fire from the device.

“You WHAT?!”

“No no no! Don’t get mad at him, Grunkle Ford! He was trying to help me! I put too many candles on the cake and it was taking too long to light!” Mabel got in between the two men with a worried look on her face. Until Dipper stepped in.

“Don’t be mad at anyone, Great Uncle Ford. It’s… It’s my fault… You put me in charge and I couldn’t handle it… I let things get out of control… And because I couldn’t do my job, Addi’s party got ruined…” He looked down at his shoes and braced for a lecture from the angry looking man in front of him.

Ford’s eyebrows furrowed as the frown on his face grew.

“… Well I can’t say I’m not disappointed in any of you… Each of you had a hand in this…”

Soos raised his hand. “Did I, Dr. Pines?”.

“No, Soos.”

Soos let out a sigh of relief.

“What the heck were you all thinking? First everything that’s already happened to Addi and when we finally have a chance to make to situation a little better, you all pull this stunt? I’m not mad but we’ll be lucky if Addi doesn’t break down into tears at this poi- huh?”

Ford was interrupted by the sound of laughter. He turned to see Addi wiping a tear from her eye with a smile on her face. He gave his assistant a confused look as she stepped into the confrontation.

“I love it! This is honestly exactly what I needed for today!” She snorted a bit as she continued laughing.

“Oh no! Addi’s so distraught with grief that she’s going nutso bonkers! Someone get a straight jacket!” Soos declared as he pointed at the woman.

“N-No! I’m really happy!” She smiled and calmed herself finally. “You guys went through all this trouble just to make sure I had a good birthday? That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” She pulled Dipper and Mabel into a hug. “Thank you so much.”

“But… We ruined it. Everything’s destroyed.” Dipper’s confusion was obvious in his voice.

“So? Ever hear the phrase “It’s the thought that counts”? You guys brought out a FLAME THROWER just to make sure all the candles were lit on time before we came back! Who else would do that just to make someone happy?” Adeline was smiling from ear to ear. She then turned to Ford.

“And YOU were going to yell at them for it?”

Ford rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “I-I honestly wasn’t expecting this reaction from you. You’ve just been so down about your birthday… We all wanted to make it a good one.”

“It IS a good one. The best I’ve had in a while. I got to see my old friends, I’m getting to spend time with my new ones who put together an amazing party for me, and we’re all together to enjoy it. Why wouldn’t it be a good one?”

Stan tossed the now empty fire extinguisher away. 

“See? I told you she’d like anything you threw at her.”

“Stanley!” Ford still had an angry look at his brother until Addi pulled them both into a hug.

“Thanks guys. This is DEFINITELY a birthday I’m never going to forget.”

“OH!” Mabel pulled out the scrapbook from it’s hiding place, undamaged by the previous excitement. “Happy Birthday, Addi! We might not know how old you are, but you’re timeless to all of us!”

Addi gave a surprised look before thumbing through the pages, smiling and tearing up as she looked through all the pictures. “This… This is perfect… Thank you everyone…” 

The Pines family gathered around her for a group hug as Mabel gave Waddles the signal to snap the camera resting on a tripod in front of him. 

A picture of Addi and her friends smiling happily now placed in that final photo slot in the album.

[capricious-passions-blog]

By Word Count

Words, words, words.

moosesmittens

A Grim Night

Yes

688

1

I could care less how short this is. It’s that Grim dog. I’m so glad this was written. Any and all ‘Grim’ fics about Stanley and this dog are blessings in my eyes.

bananabog

Balm

Yes

1,073

1

A one-shot that wasn’t meant to be more unfortunately, but has a very interesting premise about Bill not being gone from Stan’s head.

scribefindegil

Nomenclature

Yes

1,133

1

Haha! - No, I’m sorry. This one. This one is great. Portal Ford.

anonymousAlchemist

our past ghosts always haunting

Yes

1,347

1

Stanley never regains his memories. And it’s okay.

impish_nature

Sleight of Hand

Yes

1,638

1

Oh my gosh - MagicStanley! It’s beautiful.

Neelh

Homologous

Yes

1,642

1

HA! I was wondering what ‘homologous’ even means. And then I saw the author’s note. Read my mind.

Reread it. I have no words. Monster. Angel. Blessing. Curse. How shall I describe this author?

HowAboutThatSnapback

Death Omen, Shmeath Omen

Yes

1,649

1

Just the title. Just the title on it’s own is enough. THAT TITLE.

LogicalBookThief

Stan Protecting his Kids

No -

First Posted

2015-10-29

Last updated

6 Mar 2016

1,670

2 works

First one is Soos’s dad. The second is a tourist and Wendy. I actually thought the Soos and the dad bit was interesting. I never would have thought about it, but yeah. That could go down like that.

Kalajorn (Mortsyn)

The Black Dog

Yes

1,763

1

This one has Stanley befriending the grim because of an accident. It skirts the depressing and jumps into the Stanley is amazing.

impish_nature

Silent Plea

Yes

2,070

1

BlindFaith Au. Stanley helps Stanford with cave flashbacks.

hapful

out

Yes

2,587

1

Amnesia Stanley. Andrew - ANDREW - *he thinks he’s andrew … * I can’t -

Tell_Me_Tales

Math is Money

No?

First Posted

2016-10-22

Last updated

28 Nov 2016

2,622

2

As I recall - this one was actually kind of adorable. Right? I don’t know why it’s marked unfinished unless the Tell_Me_Tales had more in mind. Otherwise it feels like a pretty cohesive pair of one-shots. And Filbrick is … normal.

molossiamerica

2 AM

Yes

3,062

1

In relation to the title. One word. Relatable. But other than that - these two. I tell ya. Sea adventures.

impish_nature

Signs of a Well Lived Life

Yes

3,276

1

JOML AU @notllorstel

More Grim Au. I think they actually die in this one. Quote on Quote “Bittersweet and stuff”

eltigre221

Gravity Falls: Aspects of Stanley

Yes

3,321

1

500 Fords Au. In a hall of Fords, Stanley splits himself into parts of his personality. And Ford has to put that back together.

The_Lionheart

Missing

Yes

4,103

1

How Stan has dentures. A basic recap of when and where he lost most of his teeth WITH CRIPPLING FEELS.

MaryPSue

Now You See

Yes

4,158

1

Stanford never feels like he has to ask for Stanley’s help to come to gravity falls. You can probably guess how well that goes. Cause he finishes the portal but how to keep the world from ending?

thesnadger

It’s A Great Idea (Who Are You To Judge?)

Yes

4,295

1

Relativity Falls. Grauntie Mabel and Grunkle Stan compare lives over drinks. Not the best idea.

impish_nature

Blind Rage

Yes

4,743

1

BlindFaith Au. Stanford goes off on some midnight attackers and Stanley isn’t handling heat of fire too well.

WDW

Estranged, Lost, Found

Yes

5,047

2

This exists. And that is enough. I have no idea how this could have been thought up, but … I rather thought it was okay. You know. Once you get over the Stanley feels. What is it with this man. And my poor heart.

thesnadger

Things You Can’t Take Back

Yes

5,058

1

Stanley in the Colombian forest. But why is Stanford there? Dun, Dun, DUUUN. But no, actually - the feels.

LogicalBookThief

One and a Half Stans Au

Yes

5,092

2 works

De-aged Stanley

impish_nature

Seeing is Believing

Yes

5,136

1

BlindFaith Au. Stanley regains some of his sight

StoneSabre

So the Ocean Soothes Our Scars

No -

First Posted

2016-10-20

Last updated

27 Nov 2016

5,508

2 works

Grunkle Adventures at sea

fex_libris

Darkened Light, Starless Night

No -

First Posted

2016-10-03

Last updated

12 Dec 2016

5,531

2

BlindFaith Au. They get out of the cave, but things aren’t peachy.

Aaronna

With the Help of a Brother

Yes

5,638

3

Amnesiac Stanley. They get to the boat. Sad Ford. With a happy ending.

LogicalBookThief

The Devil You Know

Yes

5,677

2

Possession. Mystery trio. Ford gets possessed before he realizes that’s not a good thing. And Stanley … obviously gets caught in the crosshairs.

Keleficent

Trust Me

Yes

6,528

6

It …

Well anyways. Stan falls into the portal and … just … BADness ensues. Ford gets him out, but … so yeah

Tell_Me_Tales

A Girl Named Carla

Yes

6,569

2

Carla McCorkle meets Stanford and it’s awkward, and funny, and adorable.

impish_nature

Finding the Right Frequency

Yes

6,885

1

Ford, and that radio! Talking over the air! Him and Stanley! It hits the spot.

Nicnac

Five Years Older

No -

First Posted

2016-11-01

Last updated

10 Jan 2017

7,659

3

27 year old Mabel going into the past and finding Mullet Stan. Come on guys. This one is almost mandatory viewing.

Nicnac

Weep Not for the Memories

Yes

7,718

1

Scrapbook doesn’t work. Amnesia Stanley.

TheLazyBAMF (TheGuardian219)

Fixing a Mistake

No -

First Posted

2015-12-13

Last updated

7 Nov 2016

8,334

7

Stanley uses a time wish to go back in time and relive his life so he doesn’t ruin Stanford’s. So … he’s in his kid body with his grumpy grandpa mind, and kid Ford wants to play all the time, but is smart enough to see something’s up. How could you not want this?

SilveryBeing

Key Moments

Yes

8,913

1

Stanford looking into different realities. Seeing the consequences of various actions over the course of his life. Post Weirdmeggedon. It’s good, but also full of Stanford hate propaganda NOPE THAT IS A LIE. Why am I lying like this?

impish_nature

A Lot More Lost

Yes

9,620

1

Feral Ford Au. Stanley Amnesia.

MiniatureGlitterSoul

Searching For Stanford Pines

No -

First Posted

2016-04-17

Last updated

7 Jun 2016

9,805

6

Portal Ford.

thesnadger

Summer’s Over

Yes

10,604

3 works

I’m - no THEY’RE trying to kill you. And I quote “Making Ford Feel Guilty For Fun And Profit; Actually There's No Profit; And No Fun; only pain”

LogicalBookThief

A Pound of Flesh

Yes

10,918

4

I remember this mostly for the Clairvoyant. Post Weirdmeggedon boat adventures.

The_Lionheart

The People That We Always Hoped We Would Be

Yes

11,546

1

Christmas Carol AU where everyone comes back into the past to get Stanford to reconcile with Stanley. Oh my gosh. THIS ONE. That one scene. WITH THE GUN.

Beleriandings

A Tale Of Three Stans

Yes

12,413

1

They’re in iceland. Stanley and Stanford get separated. Until Stanley runs into another portal Ford. This is a really nice read. Short, but not too short. In a fun setting, running around doing interesting stuff. Police get involved to some degree. Otherwise it wouldn’t be Stanley and Stanford.

Nicnac

Lost and Found

Yes

12,687

2 works

Connected to Elementary Falls. “CanonFord!” lands in Elementary Falls universe. It creates TWO happy endings, so plus.

biteinsane

Wearing the Working Man’s Clothes

No -

First Posted

2016-05-11

Last updated

25 May 2017

15,063

7

So it says Tiny Ford Au, and I was thrown off. I thought - the shrink ray stuff. But it’s kid Ford. And Kid Ford’s mind too. So it’s cute! But also - how can Cipher NOT take advantage of that? A One and a Half Stans, with Ford.

WinchesterWarrenSon

Fractured Fingers

No -

First Posted

2015-12-14

Last updated

25 Aug 2016

15,631

15

I shouldn’t like this one so much, but um … I REALLY like this one. Stanley comes to help Stanford in Gravity Falls.

CCs_World

And You Were Not So Old

No -

First Posted

2017-01-01

Last updated

10 Mar 2017

17,629

7

Stan contracts a serious illness and Ford is obviously extremely upsetted (yes I mean upsetted). Guys, right about now I’m banking on the lack of Major Death tag. Also how is this not longer? It feels longer. Huh.

KuroJanKazu

Reminiscence at Sea

No -

First Posted

2016-04-04

Last updated

29 Sep 2016

17,754

7

Reverse Falls. Stanford ends up in reverse falls in one of his trips through the multiverse. And really learns to like … Will Cipher.

runawaycartoonist

Gravity Falls: It’s Relative!

No -

First Posted

2016-05-04

Last updated

20,587

7

Stanley and Stanford go and visit their Great Auntie Mabel for the summer.

pinesinthewoods

Blind Faith

Yes

21,027

4

Stanley and Stanford both land in the portal. Stanley loses his eyes. Blind Faith Au.

Kalajorn (Mortsyn)

And Then There Were Three

No -

First Posted

2016-04-19

Last updated

25 Jun 2016

21,450

12

Mystery Trio.

Vituperative_cupcakes

The Demolition Log of Stanford F. Pines

Yes

22,280

11

A really amazing, after Dipper and Mabel leave, but before they set sailing sort of random adventures of the Stans. Full of humor, fun, and if I have this right - proper flash-back angst?

orphan_account

The Ghost that Lives in Great Uncle Ford’s Basement

Yes

22,348

7

Stanley - GOES BACK IN TIME, and ends up as a ghost. But I think what’s most important here, is that he’s basically lived twice but looks young. And the ending. It finally makes Canon the better option in a not ‘rip your heart out and feed it to cannibals’ way.

highwayKing

Stannapped

Yes

22,508

11

The one where Stan’s old buddies catch up with him, shove him in a trunk again, and Ford has to find him. And he does! Wait … oops, spoiler.

CCs_World

Mabel and Ford for Gravity Falls

No -

First Posted

2016-10-19

Last updated

22,889

12

Ford and Mabel Fluff as they try and save their kidnapped siblings. Apparently. Actually - you know what? I think it updated since I last saw it. I should … probably go read that.

roomapple

Liar To A Liar, For Lies Are His Coin

No -

First Posted

2016-10-19

Last updated

13 Mar 2017

23,456

10

Same Coin theory. Bill is back. Mucking about in Stanley’s head.

impish_nature

Phobos

No -

First Posted

2016-01-03

Last updated

10 Feb 2016

24,721

7

Mystery trio and Stanley has issues from his time on the road. It is unfortunate that it is incomplete.

eosrealis (Aurorealis)

Cooperation is Mandatory

No -

First Posted

2015-10-09

Last updated

6 Nov 2015

26,024

6

Stanley is a werewolf. And yet outcast from all other werewolves - of course he couldn’t just get with the program, even as a wolf! And so Ford leaves Gravity Falls to study the phenomenon.

impish_nature

Demonic Conman

Yes

26,385

8

Reverse One of Us Au. Stanley becomes the demon for Bill Cipher. What an exhausting ride. And the ending. Pretty much low-grade torture for the soul. As I recall, wasn’t there an alternate ending to this too?

videogamelover99

A Different Form a Different Time

Yes and No

First Posted

2016-12-23

Last updated

16 Apr 2017

26,407

6 works

Based on Flat Dreams and Pengychan’s and doodledrawsthings probably ideas and drawings. Bill is stuck as a human and is mostly annoyed.

the_subpar_ghost

Gravity Falls Timestuck AU

Yes

26,761

11

Mabel trapped in the past and Stanley has to help her get back. Mostly through finding Stanford, and we all know how that goes down.

Tell_Me_Tales

D-23:Guardian

No -

First Posted

2016-08-15

Last updated

23 May 2017

28,242

20

Carla McCorkle. Tell_Me_Tales adds a great addition of her as her own mystery trio in some of their work. Short chapters … that I feel get better as time goes on, but is that just me? Also - Gargoyle Stanley Au, but not monster Au.

azhdarchidaen

In Search of Antidotes

Yes

30,200

11

Historical Au. It’s great. So Stanley goes to help Stanford and it’s all in 1892. Double thumbs up.

The Last Speecher (HeidiMelone)

In Another World

Yes

30,381

14

One shots of Portal Ford. Journal Style.

The_Lionheart

Takin’ Care of Business

No -

First Posted

Last updated

19 Mar 2017

30,663

9

Modern … sort of Au. Where … Stanley goes to help Stanford. But Mabel and Dipper are more like niece and nephew - not great nibings. And … it’s really good. I really like The_Lionheart. They’re a really good writer.

Kazriku

Silent Falls

No -

First Posted

2015-10-01

Last updated

26 Feb 2017

31,078

9

Absolutely no idea, but it’s got one helluva mystery element and it feels like it’s going someplace, but I’ve no idea where.

MaryPSue

Hive

Yes

32,368

2

Note: Have not read. Vaguely skimmed. Looks interesting. [Note to self: read]

Post Canon horror story with casual fluff and happy ending. I think. Wait - how is this in my history if I haven’t read it? *Sigh* I don’t even know anymore.

thesnadger

Axolotl

No -

First Posted

2016-02-18

Last updated

18 Jan 2017

32,458

11

Post Weirdmeggedon and Bill is back. The Stans head over to Gravity Falls from their sea voyage to let family comfort, and maybe find a solution.

Kazriku

My Demons

No -

First Posted

2015-08-16

Last updated

28 Mar 2016

33,672

13

Mystery Twins.

Demonic Possession included. Kazriku also made a lyric video based on the same title and I recommend listening to it. Possibly while reading.

delcatty (Harlecat)

The Thing On the Doorstep

Yes

35,915

12

What is this - lovecraft? ... Ha! I was right. I also don’t know much about lovecraft. But I do, however, know about this. And it’s Stanford getting himself into messes in a 1930’s setting and Stanley trying to help while overcoming Fiddleford’s phobia towards horrors of the eldritch type. The actual thing on the doorstep is … a mixture of a shiver down your spine and ‘bleck.’

Amydiddle

Theory of Relativity

Yes

39,151

21

Relative Falls. Au colliding with Canon. Stanley and Stanford end up in relativity falls on a boat trip. Actually, the kids meeting their older selves - that’s neat.

The Last Speecher (HeidiMelone)

Stanley McGucket

Yes

39,759

14

Stanley MCGUCKET. And that’s just PART ONE.

… wait. Guys. It UPDATED since I last saw it. I have so much to catch up on.

SandyQuinn

There’s an Endless Road

Yes

41,073

8

This one is so great. Who doesn’t love a road trip? With your annoying brother and archenemy? Stanford sure knows how to pick ‘em. Also, this tag - ‘horror that is completely undercut by humour.’ It’s adventure in an almost episodic way, but also not at all, and is just super fun while not simply ‘pure fluff’ in any way shape or form.

Giroshane

Gravity Falls Adventures

Yes. But you kinda wish no. Series is marked incomplete, so maybe?

44,073

3 works

The Adventure with ____

How else to describe? Hurt/Comfort.

Stanley, Stanford, Mabel, and Dipper. Post Weirdmeggedon/in Weirdmeggedon.

Fordanoia

Gotham Falls

No -

First Posted

2016-09-27

Last updated

18 May 2017

45,735

11

Batman, Gravity Falls crossover! What more do you people want?

asbelow

Time Has Changed Me (And Left Me Full Of Doubt)

No -

First Posted

2017-01-18

Last updated

13 May 2017

46,708

8

REALLY GOOD ONE GUYS. Everytime I think about - Stanley. Going through that portal. Coming out. And still not speaking to Ford for another couple of years. Having that kid. Dealing with trauma of having been on the other side of that portal. REALLY GOOD ONE. Major focus on awesome slice of life that just is REALLY GOOD.

Nicnac

Elementary Falls

Yes

48,665

15 works

Stanley and Stanford get an orphaned Dipper and Mabel. A lot of oneshots around this, filled with feels and fluff.

tallykale

A better place, a better time

Yes and No

First Posted

2015-12-02

Last updated

22 Feb 2016

49,002

3 works

Mystery Trio. Stanley and Stanford reunite. Help.

dliriously

Changing Tides and Tribulations

No -

First Posted

2016-06-04

Last updated

23 Jun 2016

49,902

6

Really fantastic Stanley and Stanford post weirdmeggedon on their boat sail away and still deal with nightmares and disillusion and ‘what did Ford get up to in the portal?’ and STUFF!

WDW

A Thousand Natural Shocks

No -

First Posted

2015-10-09

Last updated

3 Aug 2016

53,750

14

Neverhuman AU. As in, ‘Stan Pines Dead’ Stanley actually died in that car crash and made a deal with a demon that wasn’t Bill Cipher and melded and is … no longer … human I guess.

PengyChan

Flat Dreams

Yes

53,940

16

Alright. Full disclosure. This is a really good fic. But … I’ve never understood the whole - ‘it makes Bill Cipher into a redeemable character’ thing. Bill feels well rounded and it gives Bill Cipher good motivations for the show. But … he’s still actually a rather genuinely rude person who does bad stuff with only slightly more understood reasons. If anything it just pulls him from psychopath to misguided. I don’t feel sorry for him, I’m just six times more interested in him as a character. But other than that - Man is this a really great fic.[Note to Self. Edit this description][Edit of the Edit: Ignore me. I know nothing]

Queen_Mab

Ad Astra

No -

First Posted

2016-07-29

Last updated

3 Jun 2017

54,200

11

Mabel falls into the Portal to find a new Grunkle. The selling point would have to be how amazing the portal Mabel bits are. Ford and Mabel. It’s just fantastic at times. And then in rolls the Dipper and Stan bits and everything is up in flames.

MaryPSue

Raising Stakes

No -

First Posted

2015-11-23

Last updated

4 Jun 2017

56,058

19

Vampire Stanley. Enough Said. Also Stanley showing up at his old ‘friend’s’ house when the guy is thinking about how harmless Stan Pines is. He was BEGGING to get his throat ripped out. That scene was so cool.

Sarah1281

A Time Wish

Yes

59,420

18

Stanley goes back in time to stop himself from landing Ford in the portal. He lands as a old mind in a young body and stays level headed as Ford wigs out. And proceeds to relieve the next thirty years.

embulalia

Two Old Men and the Sea

Yes

69,409

26

Boat adventures that head back to Gravity Falls. This one includes werewolves, nightmares, amnesia, seizures, Demonic possession, and torture. All from the tags, because for the life of me this blends in with other fics. I should probably reread this. (I remember the werewolves well enough ...? and obviously liked it ...)

scribefindegil

Fisherman’s Knot

No -

First Posted

2016-03-06

Last updated

27 May 2017

84,545

17

You think it’s over. And then there’s another twenty thousand words if not more. You don’t know how to handle these feelings.

babyblueavenger

Mystery Nerds AU

Yes and No

First Posted

2015-11-26

Last updated

2 Jun 2016

97,460

5 works

Series. It’s the last one that isn’t finished, with a 4 chaptered 46k word count hanging off the side.

WinchesterWarrenSon

Motorbikes and Sailboats

Yes

114,378

3 works

Okay, so if you’ve ever heard of Jimmy Snakes being a jerk and being in cahoots with Stanley in any way shape or form … this was probably where those ideas came from. That and the original Jimmy Snakes character info from the show. This um … it breaks you. If I was going to warn against any of these fics. This is the one I’d seriously warn against. I’m serious. Parts of me wish … that I’d just glanced over this one. I don’t know if I’ll ever recover. You should finish it, bordering on tears if not outright crying. It’s good. Really, REALLY good. Almost too good. I’m warning you DO NOT READ THIS ONE (you’re gonna read it anyways aren’t you, well I tried)

EvilEkat

Versability

Yes

131,274

33

Stanley … strikes it rich, become an even worse person, and then gets the kids when his and Stanford’s names are mixed up.

Overall - Excellent. Very, very Excellent.

DisneyMuse, slytherintbh

The Demon’s Apprentice

Yes ish

149,836

2 major works, plus a drabble and alternate endings

Have I read this? I feel like I have, but I’m not sure. It’s where Dipper becomes Bill Cipher’s apprentice of magic and Ford is just not having it. But … have I read this?

The_Lionheart

One Sword

Yes and No

First Posted

2016-07-31

Last updated

9 May 2017

239,518

9 works

Oh, just lots. Portal adventures. Reimagining of canon episodes. Crossovers. But what I wanna know is how they get away with some of that purple prose stuff? Poetry? Different formats? It’s brilliant. How? Just - how?

[detectivejigsawpines]

Twinpathy (Feelings)

And here’s part 2.

Caryn Pines had thought having one baby was difficult.

Compared to twin babies, though, Shermie had been a godsend.

Not to say that she didn’t love her little ones, though; pathological liar though she might have been, one thing Caryn was honest about was how much her children meant to her.

The frustrating thing was how...emotional they tended to get, at basically the same time.  If one of them started crying, it wouldn’t be long before the other one was wailing along in chorus.

Stanley had started it tonight, and had needed to be held and fed for twenty minutes before he was appeased.  Surprisingly, Ford hadn’t seemed interested in eating when she tried feeding him too, but he was quietly gurgling in his crib now, like all he’d needed was for his brother to be happy.  Caryn smiled at the adorable thought, and leaned down over Stanley, who was now lying in her lap for some special mommy-time, letting her hair cascade over his face as her fingers danced over his tiny bare feet.

“Tickle tickle!” she crooned, wiggling them over his toes.

Stanley squirmed, and let out a tiny baby laugh.

And Stanford laughed at the exact same time, from the other side of the room.

Caryn stared in bewilderment for a moment, before she repeated the action.  And it happened again; both babies let out high, gurgling laughs.

Caryn picked Stanley up, tucking him into the crook of her arm, and went to check on her other baby.

Stanford was lying in the crib, looking very much like he wanted to sit up and see what was going on out here; he smiled gummily when he saw his mother’s face appear above him.  She reached down and booped the end of his nose; he wrinkled it at her and giggled, and from her arm Stanley giggled too.

Caryn smiled again, with even more warmth, and carefully put Stanley on the other side of the crib.

“Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me,” she reassured them.  She doubted Filbrick would understand, and besides, this was something special for just the two of them to have.

****************

Occasionally, there would be these incidents where Ford’s telephone would ring, and whoever it was would hang up after he answered.

They didn’t happen too often; just often enough for him to notice.  Sometimes there would be more than one a week, sometimes it would be months in between calls.

But after about four months of receiving them, Ford noticed something else: that after one of these calls, he always felt an odd burst of...well, melancholy seemed like the best description.  For no apparent reason, he would just feel so incredibly sad and crushed, like it hurt that whoever it was calling didn’t want to talk to him after all, and he would have to lose himself in his research until the feeling went away.

********

Stan placed the phone back in its cradle and groaned inwardly.

Stupid stupid STUPID!

Of all the people to waste his one phone call on, he had picked the one person he wanted to talk to more than anyone else in the world, but who would have absolutely nothing good to say to him.  And then he’d just hung up as soon as he heard his voice, again. Pathetic didn’t begin to describe it.

He’d even thought about what he wanted to say this time: Ford, it’s me.  Before you get mad, please listen.  I’ve been arrested, and I need your help.

But he couldn’t get the words out.

Who was he kidding-he was thinking, what, that after all this time Ford would be suddenly willing to jump into action and give him so much as the time of day?

Stanley quietly followed the guard to his cell, gave his new cellmate his best ‘however tough you think you are, I’m a lot tougher, buddy’ glare, and didn’t say a word for the rest of the night.

****************

It had all been a lie.

Bill was a monster, and Ford, in his arrogance, had refused to listen to his only other friend’s doubts and concerns and had nearly given his ‘Muse’ exactly what he needed to come here.  He’d been taken in by his flattery and promises that he would change the world-oh, the world would be changed all right, by becoming obliterated with chaos!

And unless he could do something to stop the portal from ever being made functional again, it would be all Ford’s fault.

********

In the weeks before that postcard arrived, Stan’s thoughts were even darker than usual.

He didn’t know why, but that night kept popping up in his head-his father hurling him into the street, the door slamming shut, the curtains closing in his face.

The bitter feeling that he’d been betrayed by the one person he’d always thought he could trust, and knowing that it was his own fault didn’t make it any better.

The only thing that made it go away was seeing the words “PLEASE COME.”

****************

Stan sat apart from the campfire and stewed.

When he made one horrible, stupid mistake, the world turned him into its chew toy and he lost everything.  He had to learn to fend for himself on the streets, and spent years either alone or surrounded by people who only cared about you as long as you gave them exactly what they wanted.

When Ford, the golden boy with the extra fingers and a brain the size of a small planet, made a horrible, stupid mistake, the world gasped in horror and immediately flocked to his rescue.

What Stan did didn’t matter, he was always the screw-up who got shuffled aside because in the long run, the universe or Fate or whatever the heck it was liked Ford better.

His mood wasn’t helped by the fact under his suit he felt... itchy everywhere, like ants were crawling under his skin.  Even though he’d sprayed himself with bug repellent like three times already.

Stan sat, with a crowd of people nearby but still totally alone.

Some things never changed.

********

In the Fearamid, Ford writhed as Bill filled him with electricity for the tenth-maybe eleventh?-time, biting his lip so hard he tasted blood.  He wished, again, that he could be allowed the mercy of losing consciousness. Or, if things got any worse, maybe something stronger.

****************

It helped if he didn’t think too hard; if he just let the name of whoever he was talking to flow naturally out of his subconscious, like it had the second the pig-Waddles-jumped on him and started licking him.

He’d lost track of how long they’d been looking at the scrapbook, and the two little gremlins-his family, Dipper and Mabel-were actually on the verge of falling asleep on either side of him-no, there they went now, little heads nestling against his shoulders and snuggling into his chest.

Soos had already fallen asleep, his big warm face pillowed on the armrest, and a small ribbon of drool already sliding down his cheek.

But as tired as he was, Stan couldn’t bring himself to join them yet; there was one other person he needed to talk to and identify.

The old guy who’d hugged him out in the forest...Stan didn’t know how he knew, but he knew that this had affected him more than the others in some ways.  When they’d first reached the shack, all of them looked upset, but he looked like he'd just lost his best friend. And it was almost like Stan could feel the pain himself.

He had some idea about what their relationship was; after all, he’d seen his photo in the scrapbook, seen how closely they resembled each other.  But he’d held off on asking any specific questions so far.

The old guy was quieter than the rest of the group as they worked to start refreshing his memory, just standing next to the chair in relative silence, twiddling his thumbs on and off and looking at the scrapbook over Stan’s shoulder.  The nervousness radiating off him now was making Stan edgy too, and instead of meeting his eyes like he’d meant to he found himself looking down at the guy’s hands, clenched together on the back of the chair so hard the knuckles were turning white.

Stan unwrapped his arm from around Mabel, and before he could think about what he was doing he poked the spot where the extra fingers were.

“Cool hands,” he said aloud.  “You probably make great shadow puppets.”

The old guy visibly clenched his teeth down on his lower lip.  “You always thought so.”

“I believe it, with those six fingers-”

Stan let out a small inadvertent gasp as the words stirred something to life in his memories.

Six.

Sixer.

A flood of images, some clearer than others, flashed before his mind’s eye.  And then, slowly, hesitantly, he raised his hand, palm up, fingers spread.

“High six?”

Sixer-not his real name, but it would do for now-just leaned down and wrapped his arms tightly around Stanley’s neck, kind of like he had when he’d first ‘woken up’ in the forest, except this time he knew to reciprocate.

“High six,” Sixer whispered against his hat.

And it didn’t matter whether the happiness both of them felt was shared or just self-generated.

****************

Yes, I admit it, the ending is a little schmaltzy.  But after the emotional wringer that’s been the last forty years of their lives, I feel like they’ve earned it.

[hopecvon]

Cat breed character refs for Felidae Falls AU.

More  Felidae Falls stuff. This is for any one who wishes to make some art based off this AU of mine. You will also learn more about the breeds and why I choice certain ones for some characters. A link will also be provided with more information on the breed. I’ll be self reblogging and adding more characters as time goes.

DIPPER PINES - BLUE POINT BALINESE http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2hyew7 Balinese are off shoots of the Siamese. Much like Dipper, these cats are known for being highly curious and intelligent. And just as Dipper likes to go mystery hunting and uncover new secrets, Balinese cats are known for being very exploitative - seriously these guys get into everything. They are also family oriented and Dipper is without a doubt loyal and protective of his family, especially of his sister Mabel. It is funny that Balinese are known for being graceful when Dipper sometimes has a hard time keeping his balance. MABEL PINES - TORTIE (RED, BROWN, CREAM) POINT JAVANESE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py-np3C15YE Another off shoot of the Siamese and, other than differences in a wider rang of coat colors, look a lot like Balinese. It's not just looks that made the choice for this cat breed to be Mable, but also their social, loving, and playful nature. That and like Mabel they tend to be very vocal, making them the perfect breed for this Pine twin. SOOS - RAGDOLL https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIdyDUhuLwk This is such a Soos kind of cat. Naturally large, Ragdolls are the puppy cats who love to be cuddled and fawned over, especially in families with children. WENDY - RED TABBY WITH WHITE CHEST AND UNDERBELLY MAIN COON https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meRJKMENg5s Wendy was definitely hard to make a choice about. it was a three way battle between the Main Coon, the Norwegian Forest cat, and the Siberian. In the end I decided on the Main Coon mostly because I felt the Siberian and the Norwegian looked to ruffled and scruffy and more of how Wendy's father Manly Dan would look (I still haven't decided which one will be what he is though). Just like Wendy, Main coons are fun to be around - either chilling or playing. STANLEY PINES - BLUE/SILVER SOMALI http://www.animalplanet.com/tv-shows/cats-101/videos/somali/ Also called the fox cat, these felines are curious with grabby paws who love being the center of attention. Add that they are mischievous but very nurturing, and it no wonder I thought this is breed was meant to be Stan. That and they look like long haired Abyssinians. STANFORD PINES - BLUE/SILVER ABYSSINIAN https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jZ9CGARwEs The Author of the journals is a very intelligent person. So an equally intelligent breed of cat should be what he is in this AU right? Enter the Abyssinians, an ancient cat breed often thought of as the Boarder collie of the cat world. And like Ford, they're not just smart, these are mischievous felines who love to play whenever they get the chance. However just as Ford seems to prefer handshakes to hugs, Abyssinians don’t like being held. (Of course Mabel is an exception because when she wants a hug you just let her hug you.) ROBBIE VALENTINO - BOMBAY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64uA_yxE8b4 Every part of this cat is black, even the pads of their paws, and they have large, striking, round copper eyes. Remember that a werecat’s eyes will change color when shape shifting. Meaning the eye color one is born with may not be the same color they’ll have when they get their full form. These competitive, dog-like felines have been called velcro kitties on occasions. Why? They’re so affectionate that they can become rather clingy. Remind you of anyone? GIDEON GLEEFUL - WHITE NAPOLEON https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa_6XdT7MHA Fun fact: Napoleon actually had a fear of cats. A cat breed that was named after Napoleon Bonaparte because of how short they are? How could I not make this Gideon. Plus I like to think that Stan would call him, "A real little Napoleon". Napoleon cats are know for being sweet and affectionate, which is what Gideon would want everyone to believe. However this werekit has a darker, power hungry side to him. PACIFICA NORTHWEST - RUST CHEETOH https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqk_WCPSrXc A beautiful spotted cat that is a cross between a Bengal and an Ocicat. This might be the only time in the AU when something like that will happen where this actually plays into what the parents are. Just like Pacifica, this cat has a secret sweet and caring side but still craves attention. All the breeds that are matched to the Northwests are rare cats and often expensive cats, which I'm sure many of you will agree works out just fine for this family. PRISCILLA NORTHWEST - MARBLED BENGAL https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yc8yHE8d3zY Just like Pacifica’s mother, Priscilla, on the show it is all about looks with this breed of cats. Their wild spotted coats give them that wild look that comes form their wild roots with the Asian Leopard cat. These felines are high sprung and like things done in a manor that fits their desired tastes. PRESTON NORTHWEST - CHOCOLATE OCICAT https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUHo4LOPivY Also called a spotted tabby by some, these guys may look wild but this is not a descendant of any wild cat (how like a Northwest). The first ocicat was actually unintentional but now are mistaken for exotic cats. One could say something similar happened with Preston’s ancestor - with the whole town founder cover up thing an all. Like all Northwests these guys are rare and want all the attention they can get. BLIND IVAN -  HETEROZYGOUS/ODD EYED WHITE SPHYNX https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuOvHDhMJ-A These are naturally hairless rare breeds, that let you see what all cats look like under the fur. They're intelligent and love being the center of attention, in fact they'll even demand it. In this alternate universe Blind Ivan and the Blind Eye Society still exists - called the Secret Glaring Clowder in this universe. However they are considered to be good guys, as they help keep the truth of the existence of werecats from the humans, especially tourists that visit the town. Ivan is not the leader but rather a spokesman - or spokescat if you prefer, and is the only member that other werecats know of. He keeps the identities of the other members a closely guarded secret - especially the leader whom he works closely with. FIDDLEFORD H. “OLD MAN ”MCGUCKET - GREEN EYED BROWN TABBY WITH WHITE FEET, CHEST, AND UNDERBELLY DOMESTIC LONGHAIR https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5nQsElzopY This is a mongrel of a cat meaning no special pedigree membership here. They’re fur can be silky smooth when cared for and brushed to keep it from being matted. Unfortunately that isn’t the case for McGucket. Only a select few know that the crazy man who lives in the dump is secretly a genius helping to protect the secret population of werecats in Gravity Falls. He become dusty over the years and his fur highly matted due to him having little to no care about his personal appearance. However this old werecat still has his fangs and claws and will use them if he's provoked too much. BILL CIPHER - BRONZE EGYPTIAN MAU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60zcX3GijYQ Some of you might be wondering why I decided to make Bill a cat too. I could have easily made him another animal. Well I had actually come up with the idea of Bill as an Egyptian Mau even before the idea of the AU came to light. In a way it's what started all of this. Plus it's such a perfect breed for Bill to be - not just because of where they originate from. These felines are not only an extremely rare and ancient breed but also highly intelligent and energetic. The average house cats run at 30 mph but Egyptian maus can go over that, making them the fastest domestic cat. Egyptian maus are one of the two only naturally spotted domestic cat breeds, and their spots are only on the edge of their fur making they unique and one of a kind. They are usually possessive, and have some unique vocals. Much like a certain triangle guy. In this AU Bill is technically a werecat but he only has one form that looks to be a cross between a full-form and a merge-form. Most often he appears completely cat with tail, claws, teeth, eyes, fur, and even whiskers but - despite floating in the air most of the time - still walks on two legs and wears clothes . His front paws can still hold objects like hands and he still has the ability to speak. His face is human in bone structure but cat in forms such as his nose, mouth, ears, and eyes. Also those spots are more like little triangles. His left eye is damaged. It looks like someone took a hot triangle shaped branding iron to his face, burning his fur away and swelling his eye shut. Bill also decided to give himself stitches that cover the entire eye area. These stitches don't really do anything but creep and gross everyone out.