#I just wanted to make something for Clowns birthday :o)

[oceans-beloved]

Meme dump yayyy🥳✨️

(off to make more now muhahaha >:3)

[catliker49]

I am hoping I'll finish this tomorrow!! I'll be a day late for Clown's birthday, but it's currently 2:30AM! I must get my beauty sleep! Here is some of the Line art so far if you are interested! Howdy and Barnaby! Yay!!! Ooh I also drew Sally.. I love how I drew her.. I'm holding myself back from showing too much of the drawing, but AAHH! (Also I am so Angry - not really! haha! - every time I try to make my text fancy.. the last letter, full stop, comma or bracket is always white rather than the Colour I chose! Evil I say!)

[didishawn]

Make sure he hears you are taken (Pedri x Reader) smut

Warnings: jealous Pedri, basically he answers your phone to make sure a guy getting too close to you hears how well he fucks you, smut, exhibitionism of some kind I guess, lots of Spanish

Masterlist

The whole trouble starts with Pedri on his car driving Gavi home after training.

He has been quite busy lately, not having enough attention for you lately so he feels as if he has to make it up to you, taking chance of tomorrow's free day to dine you out then fuck you well into the morning hours.

"Oye, coge mi móvil y llama a y/n, porfa, que quiero confirmar para hoy a la noche" he tells Gavi, the younger boy nodding, unlocking his friend's phone - your birthday the password, and pressing call on your contact, a picture of the two of you, rolling his eyes at how obsessively in love Pedri is. (hey, take my phone and call y/n, please, that I want to check for tonight)

The phone rings twice before your voice sounds on the other side, putting an instant smile on Pedri's face.

"Hola, amor, ¿como estás?" you greet him. (hey love, how are you?)

"Bien bien, solo quería confirmar si todo sigue en pie para hoy a la noche" you hum in agreement, and he grins widely. (good, good, just wanted to check if everything is still good for tonight)

Then he hears it, male voice in the background, your voice responding to whoever it was, Gavi's eyes widen, wanting to know what is about to come down.

"¿Con quien estás, amor?" (who are you with, love?)

You voice is lowered as you speak next "Un pesado de la uni, diciéndome algo de que quería quedar conmigo esta noche" (some loser from college, telling me something about wanting to hang out with me tonight)

Gavi's mouth is wide open as he side eyes his friend.

"¿Es tonto o que?" (is he stupid or what?)

You hum again at your boyfriend's question "Es muy pesado. Pero mejor lo hablamos luego, que no me quiero ni imaginar la cara de Gavi escuchando el chisme" (he is so annoying. But we better talk later I can't even imagine Gavi's face listening to the gossip)

The younger boy scoffs "¡No estoy chismoseando!" (I am not gossiping!)

"Ajá, si claro, haré que me lo creo. Bueno amor, nos vemos luego, te amo" Pedri says it back and indicates Gavi to hang up. (aha, yeah right, I will do as if I believe that. Well love, see you later, love you)

Pedri's knuckles are white as he grips the steering wheel.

"Tú sabes que ella ni siquiera mira hacia otro hombre" (you know she doesn't even look another man's way)

"Claro que lo se, pero no sé de qué va ese puto payaso, no es que nuestra relación sea secreta ni nada, todo el mundo sabe que estamos juntos" (of course I know that, what I don't know is what that fucking clown is about, it's not like our relationship is a secret, everyone knows we are together)

"No le des muchas vueltas, tú piensa que simplemente es un gilipollas que ya se cansará" (don't think too much about it, just think that he simply is an asshole that will eventually get tired)

But not even Gavi's unusually rational words can keep Pedri's mind away from whoever that fucking asshole is.

Pedri doesn't let his fleeting thoughts ruin your night together, though, even if his mind is full of jealousy.

You know he is jealous, he might be one of the best footballers out there, but acting is not a talent of his.

His fans go wild at how many stories and pictures he has posted tonight, some of them simply showing you off, one of the two of you kissing, another of the fancy restaurant he has taken you to, all photos accompanied by romantic quotes that almost has your eyes full of tears because of how happy they make you.

You know lay on your comfortable couch, a bottle of wine shared between you as you cuddle into his chest, him placing kisses on your head, both of you just happy with each other's company. He looks down at you with so much love in his eyes, a dumb smile on his face as you ramble about your day, your eyes as full of love as his.

Then your phone dings.

You both ignore it, but the sound repeats, once, twice, thrice.

You sigh, picking up the phone, a frown on your face as you see who the messages' sender is.

"¿Pasa algo?" your boyfriend asks you, his face full of concern. (is something wrong?)

You puff and show him the screen, the name of a boy on the notifications, asking you about what you are doing, telling you you would have had so much more fun with him than with 'that football player you are dating', there is a image attached to that Pedri can only guess is a dick pic, another message telling you all about how hot you are - as if you even needed a reminder of that, and how horny you make him.

"Supongo este es el gilipollas, ¿no?" you nod, he scoffs "Maldito cabron de mierda, ¿de que puto va? Asqueroso" (I suppose this is the idiot, right? Fucking, shitty asshole, what the fuck is he going about? Disgusting)

He drops the phone on the couch, his face hidden behind his hands, you approach him, you head in his neck "Lo siento" (you apologise)

He shakes his head "¿De que te disculpas? No es tu culpa sea un baboso" (what are you apologising for? It's not your fault he is a slob)

"Debería haberte dicho antes que no me dejaba en paz" (I should have told you before that he doesn't stop bothering me)

"No es tu culpa, se que he estado ocupado últimamente" (it's not you fault, I know I have been busy lately)

"No es excusa" you say, then lean forward placing a kiss on his neck "Déjame pagártelo" (it's no excuse. Let me make it up to you)

A handsome smile takes over his face, your mouths meeting in a passionate kiss, he cups your face, the kiss leaving you breathless.

He separates, his kisses going lower and sucking your neck, leaving a mark behind, his hands go lower too, gripping the hem of your dress, pushing it up.

"Venga bonita, dejame quitarte este vestido, dejame verte entera" (come on pretty one, let me take this dress off you, yet me see all of you)

You are left only in your panties, having chosen to not wear a bra tonight, his mouth salivating at the sight of you breasts, the cold air gardening your nipples. He leans forward, making you completely lay down as he showers over you, he kisses both breasts, his hips are grinding into yours, he already has you moaning, your hands buried in his hair, pulling on its strands, making it messy.

You are pulling on his shirt, wanting to see more of him, he kisses your check and takes it off, letting you see his strong upper part, your eyes stuck on the signs of the happy trail leading to the bulge his pants struggle to contain. You mouth attaches to his neck, he now lays on the couch, gazing up at you, getting comfortable as you lips go lower, hands unbuckling his belt, you push his pants down, the same with his underwear, his cock bouncing against his stomach, red tip, the veins looking about to explode, there is precum coming out and his balls look heavy.

"¿No vas a chuparla?" he teasingly asks, you roll your eyes. (are you not going to suck it?)

"Todo un caballero. Ni un por favor ni nada" (such a gentleman. Not even a please)

"Por favor, mi diosa a la que amo más que nada en el mundo, chupame la polla. ¿Así mejor?" (please, my goddess who I love more than anything in this world, suck my dick. Is that better?)

You hum, mouth wide open as you struggle to take him down your throat, your hand stimulating what you can't fit, his head goes back, his hands on your hair as you go up and down.

"Joder, pareces un experta y todo" (shit, you feel like an expert and all)

You let go, hand still working up and down "Mi novio me ha ayudado a practicar" (my boyfriend has helped me practice)

"Joder" he moans, hoarse voice high pitched "Suena a que es muy suertudo" (fuck. He sounds like a lucky man)

You kiss his tip, his heart is about to explode at how cute you look "Yo soy la suertuda" (I am the lucky one)

"Debatible" (debatable)

His hands pull on your hair, making you drop his cock as he once more pushes you to lay on the couch, he hovers over you, lips meeting yours as one hand grasps your cheek, the other reaches down to pull off your panties. Once they are gone, that same hand pushes your legs open, a finger starts teasing your clit, all of this without letting go of your lips.

"Dios, como te quiero" he says as you need a breather, he is looking at you as if you had hung the stars on the sky, in his mind you probably have. (god, I love you so much)

There are only inches in between you as he pushes a finger into you, fucking you with it slowly, you basically moaning into his mouth.

"Tan apretada y solo llevo un dedo. ¿Como se va a sentir cuando sea mi polla la que est�� dentro?" (so tight and it's only one finger. How will it feel when it's my cock inside?)

You can't respond, now concentrated on the feeling of two fingers inside of you and another rubbing circles on your clit. Breaking eye contact is not a possibility, his eyes call yours, you can only see him, only the two of you left in a world that could be burning down for all you cared, his lips may be kissing your breasts, but his eyes stay on yours.

That is, until the loud ring of your phone, making you groan as you reach to toss it away. Pedri is faster and picks it up, disgust taking over his expression as he sees who the caller is.

"De verdad, que no se puede ser más subnormal" he is about to hung up, when an idea strucks his mind "¿Qué te parece si le dejamos escuchar lo bien que te follo, amor? Así se le queda bien claro que tú solamente eres mía" (seriously, you can't be more stupid. How about we let him hear how well I fuck you, love? So he can understand that you are only mine)

You think it over for a second, then slowly nod making him grin widely before planting along kiss on your lips and picking up the call, placing the phone right next to your head.

You are sure the guy is talking, but you can't really understand what he is saying - something about it you are there, Pedri is on his knees in between your legs, face on your center as he licks a long stripe up, lips wrapping around your clit, you let out a loud moan that they guy on the other side of the phone surely didn't miss.

Pedri is devouring you as if you were his last meal, there fingers now inside of you pumping in and out restlessly, his mouth doesn't leave your clit until he feels you about to cum by the high pitch on your whines and moans. He lets go, leaving you just about to reach the extasis that you long so much for.

He picks you up and turns you around, on all fours you feel him on your entrance, his tip teasing you.

"Recuerda dejarle bien claro que solo hay una persona que te puede tener así" (remember to make it clear there is only one person that can have you like this)

"Pedri!" you whine when he sticks only his tip inside of you, you are breathless, a whining mess as you hide your face in the pillow your boyfriend made sure to be avaible so you aren't as uncomfy.

"Dios, estas ya así cuando ni siquiera he hecho nada todavía. ¿Como vas a aguantar cuando te esté follando como te mereces?" (god, you are like this without me doing anything still. How will you manage when I fuck you like you deserve?)

His tip does playful taps against you, until finally he is entirely in you in one harsh thrust, a loud moan escaping your mouth and into the phone's microphone.

"¿Eso se sintió bien, amor?" you desperately nod and he laughs. (did that feel good, love?)

The pace of his hips is hard and fast, unforgiving, the noise of skin against skin is loud, not as much as you moans and whines, his groans are lower, hoarser. He leans down, biting into your neck, his strong chest against your back as he desperately ruts into you, heavy balls hitting you, his heat enveloping you.

"Deja que escuche lo bien que te follo, déjale claro de quién eres" (let him hear how well I fuck you, make it clear who you belong to)

"Pedri!" you whine, you are close, about to come as you tighten even more around him, trapping him inside you, your sound get hight pitched, so do his groans.

His hips stutter a bit, his pace faltering as he reaches down to you phone, speaking into it "Payaso, ¿te pensabas te iba a dar el placer de escuchar lo linda que se escucha al correr se para mi? Vete a la mierda, déjala en paz" (clown, did you really think I would let you the pleasure of hearing how pretty she sound when she comes for me? Go to hell, leave her alone)

He hangs up and tosses the phone aside, fully concentrating on you and how good you feel, picking you up and setting you on his lap, moving you up and down, thrusting, harshly into you, one hand playing with your clit, his lips attached to your neck.

"Venga bonita, vente para mi, necesito sentirte a mi alrededor" (come on pretty one, cum for me, I need to feel you around me)

You can't really think straight but nod desperately, cumming at once when you feel his tip kissing your cervix, all his cum filling you up to the brim.

It's not enough, you both know that, and by the time you are done, his cum is seeping out from you and it's early morning hours.

Needless to say, the boy never dares to even look you to the eye again.

[cerise-on-top]

Hiya! I was wondering if you could do TF141 with a S/O that is a clown who does ballon art? I think it would be silly and fun -🐍

Hey there! Sure I can!

TF141 with a Clown!S/O

Price: I think he’d be impressed with you. It’s not every day you find someone, whose purpose at his job is to entertain people like that. He’s a captain, he’s meant to be serious at all times, so there’s not much room to joke around for him. He probably would try to visit you here and there, provided you don’t work at birthday parties. But a circus? Or maybe just on stage? Yeah, he’d try to see you here and there, if he can. He’d probably be more than happy to accept a balloon animal from you. I think he’d be very happy to receive something along the lines of a turtle or tortoise. It seems very impressive to him. While I do believe he’d love to engage with you as part of the audience if your work permits it, he would leave you alone if you seem a little overworked. While he can appreciate a good joke or two from you, he won’t force you to be funny around him. If all you do after work is cuddle up to him and seek his comfort, he’s happy. He’s not the funniest person out there, but if you ask him his opinion he’ll try to come up with a nice routine for you.

Gaz: Oh, he loves it. Ever since he was little he loved clowns. He always thought them to be a nice source of entertainment. He’d totally support you being a clown and would also try to come to your shows, if possible. Although he’d hate to distract you during work, he’d probably make some jokes here and there to help get your audience laughing. He can be very funny since he’s so sassy, so there’s a good chance the two of your work well together. He’s in love with your balloon art. In fact, I do believe he’d ask you about how you do it and learn from the resident expert. Yes, that includes him blowing up his own balloons and trying to contort them into animals and whatnot. Though, be prepared, the first thing he makes for you is a balloon dick. He can be unserious too at times and will laugh if you roll your eyes at him. He probably would try to help mend your costume if it got torn somehow. And he would also try to keep it clean since he’s a big fan of it. I think that, at the end of the day, he’d love to try and make you laugh as well, whether it be by telling you a joke, making up his own routine, or otherwise.

Ghost: Not a big fan of clowns. At all. He thinks they’re super scary and untrustworthy to have around. What are they smiling about? The state of the world? Yeah, he’s not too happy about you being a clown. But then again, there’s a good chance you’re not happy with him being a military man either, so he sucks it up. He’d be hesitant to go to one of your shows since there’s a good chance there are other clowns there as well, who wish for him to participate in their tomfoolery. No thank you. You’d need to give him a good reason to go, such as paying for the ordered food or giving him free tickets to your show. But once you’re home? He’s gonna pretend to have come up with some good jokes for you to use. None of them are child friendly. You’ve heard his jokes in the “Alone” mission. And yes, he will insist on you using the most fucked up jokes you’ve heard in your life. “Why did the noodle kill itself? Because it was torte-lonely.” And yes, he does laugh at his own jokes from time to time as well. He’s a comedy genius in his eyes and he genuinely does not understand why you’re so disturbed by his humor.

Soap: He loves you, so he loves you being a clown as well. He adores your bright and colorful costume. In fact, if you’re somewhat of a similar size he’ll ask you if he can wear it as well. He can be a rather silly man, so he’d love to be silly alongside you. I think he’d try to impress you by making a few balloon animals of his own in secret and showing them to you when you least expect it. He wants you to look at him and go “Wow, Johnny, you’re so cool and epic and handsome and I love you!” It strokes his ego. Will go to your shows if he can and actively participate. He’s not the funniest person either, but he tries to go along with your slapstick humor. I think he’d probably leave after your show, just to come back a few minutes later and participate again. Yes, he will actively flirt with you and see if he can stun you into silence. Will also make a few dirty jokes, for which you have to silence him afterwards. It’s all in good fun until you hit him with the squeaky hammer. Will pretend that you hate him after you’ve hit him with it. But will still dote on you when you’re home.

[polarisbibliotheque]

About the time a guy was being creepy to me on a professional setting and my gut feeling told me "GET OUT NOW"

Ok, so hi! This post has to do with a reblog recently here in my blog, on one of my fics regarding Dante and Vergil with an s/o suffering from being hit on without their consent. I write Devil May Cry fanfiction and that was my way of coping with a CREEP being, well, a creep.

Who would've known, fanfic is therapeutical

My answer got so big, I decided to make a separate post about it - and I'm talking like this because, if this gets out the DMC sphere and other people read it, they'll understand the fandom talk a little bit. This is not just for the fandom, but everyone out there.

Including men. All of us are prone to being targets of creeps - even if I'll be telling about my experience as a woman, take this advice to your heart NO MATTER your gender.

When this episode happened in my life, I was 27 y/o, I think...? I got pushed into such a stupid corner by this guy who kept messaging me with "work related" stuff... And my family wasn't validating my "this is weird" feeling.

So... What happened?

(TW: I mention the words "rape" and "sexual abuse" but none of that has happened. It was a red flag and I want to talk about avoiding it like the plague and how people might dismiss your gut feeling when something is wrong. I write with brutal honesty, curse words and don't censor anything, because I'm here to tell people how it is not curating content to go viral on clean ~family friendly~ social media. This is honest advice I'd give someone else, so it's just a heads up. I'm a little jaded with all the censoring of "forbidden words" when you have to discuss serious subjects like this nowadays hahahaha)

First context, I'm a Lawyer. Hi. I know it doesn't sound like it Second context, I'm from Latin America. Hi again!

Well, in my country, we have to vote every couple of years for the National Lawyer Association President and Vice-President (for my USA people, it's like the BAR association for Lawyers - meaning only lawyers who have passed the BAR and are, indeed, full-fledged to the association and with a lawyer permit can vote). I hate it, but it is what it is, I have to vote every time for one of those posh speaking clowns or else.

This much older guy stopped me at the entrance to the voting building to do some political propaganda of one of the candidates. Expected. They weren't the ones I was gonna vote 'cause their agenda didn't fit what I wanted for the Association - nevertheless, I smiled and was polite. Guy wouldn't shut up, but that's a lawyer thing. Kept being polite, dismissed him kindly and went inside to vote.

As I came back, guy is there and stops me. I had called my mom to give me a ride home - by that time, I had been broke and without a job for 2 years up until that point, trying to get back into the ~lawyer business~ and recover from a very bad burnout, so paying a ride back home was a big no. I had my phone on my hand and kept chatting because, you know, networking. You never know.

Now, mind you. I'm about to celebrate my 30th birthday this year, but people seriously think I'm underage wherever I go. I have to literally show them my credentials and ID so they can believe a single word I say. This guy, must've been around his 50s or something - and I look like a teen or, at best, 20 years old. I graduated when I was 22, so that's the most he could've imagined I was.

As we're talking, dude is flexing his career so hard I start to do the same. He says he has known the President and influential people in politics (back then, far-right government, so red flag already waving in the horizon), he has an office both here and in New York and Miami, he has worked with the FBI (we're in Latin America, the USA stuff is a flex for far-right people). I say I have worked as the Labor Lawyer in a huge worldwide known multinational company, coordinated with people in the USA and UK, had around 100 cases to manage monthly and keep the company in order when the directors were not around.

Guy is impressed and asks for my contact on LinkedIn. I'm down for it, I'm looking for a job and he could be one hell of a way to get back on business. Dude mentions he's in digital law and, heck, I wanted so bad to get into digital law! It was like he was put in my way by the angels to help me get back on my feet!

He asks for my resumé and my cellphone number, so he can have me in his office to have a cup of coffee. I am soaring by now. "That's it!!" I think "That's my ticket back to being a lawyer, to having my own money, to breaking the cycle of unemployment and having my career back!" - so I do it! I give him my number!

hello, workaholic aunt here speaking, my career was everything to me, I'd do everything for it

After I got back home, told my mom everything, and everyone was so happy. That's when he started sending me messages - asking for my address so he could send me some lawyer magazines and such... Even though he had asked when we were talking before and I changed the subject. I didn't give him of course, but instead sent him my resumé.

So, next day he asks me about that coffee and I said we can make it happen... Even if he got my name wrong. I have a pretty exotic name in whatever country I go, so it's a common mistake, known to happen, no one can pronounce my name right if I don't teach them how to, so yeah. I'm willing to gloss over that.

I'm assuming he read my resumé, saw how smart, capable and hardworking I am, and wants to talk business. Wants to offer me a job. I'm super ready. I'm taking my business clothes out of the closet, I'm cleaning my high heel black boots, I'm checking my references and vocabulary so I don't screw up. Guy sends a message saying he wants to take me out for lunch.

Red flag. My instincts flare up and I'm just staring at the screen. I start reviewing everything. I mean... Business lunches are ok, right? I had lunches with my manager and director plenty of times back in the day and it never got weird. So... Why was I feeling weird now...?

Guy says we can go out for lunch and then back at his office so he can show me around. I was like "hmmm... ok? shouldn't be weird. this is normal." but nevertheless I went to check with my mom and my sister.

Both said it was fine. I was feeling weird because it's a guy and me and I shouldn't be feeling uneasy - it's my social anxiety/workplace trauma talking. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. I shouldn't screw up.

I keep talking to him. I ask where we should meet up for this lunch and he tells me to give him my address, so he could pick me up and we can go to "a nice place to have lunch" (his words, not mine).

Red flags are dancing around my head. I keep thinking "have I lead him on something????" and going mad. What was I wearing? Only work clothes, that's all - suit pants, black high heel boots, dark silk shirt and only a nude lipstick so my lips wouldn't get chapped. My shirt didn't even show cleavage.

It's ridiculous how I feel this is a thing I should add 'cause heaven forbid the cleavage

What about what I've said? Did I accidentally flirt?? 'Cause that's been known to happen - I'm a clueless ace who can't for the life of me notice when people are flirting or not or notice when people think I'm flirting with them. And usually when they are not flirting or being attractive, that's when the magic happens for me! So... What gives?! Did I do something wrong, that sent the wrong message?

I mean, I was nice, yes. But you're supposed to be nice to people. I'm not gonna be rude just because most guys can't keep it in their pants.

I go over the messages. I didn't do anything strictly not business like. I'm very good at that. I have only worked responding to men as bosses in my life, had four male bosses before him, all different ages, marital status, star signs, backgrounds, lives. The best colleagues and co-workers I used to spend hours having coffee and laughing with were men. So I know how to keep professional and not mixing things up. It wasn't a slip up from my side.

Well, then there's always the chance I was going crazy and overreacting, soooo... I go over to my mom and sister. They think it's weird, yes, but they do think that's exactly what's going on: I'm overreacting and my social anxiety/workplace trauma is blocking me from pursuing this opportunity that can help my career - and make me have a salary again so I can help at home.

Ok. I though up and go back to talking to him. I tell him fine but I'll go to the place myself, so he can tell me where he's thinking about having lunch. Guy tells me nothing and keeps insisting I give him my address and he will give me a ride so we can "get to know each other better".

My GODS I've never felt so uncomfortable. Not even when I had to stay ONLY with my boss working until 1 am, only the two of us in the company building, every light out except the one in the room we were in, him being around 15 years older than me and very confident, with the two of us having one of the best work chemistry I had in my LIFE.

He could've done ANYTHING to me, but we only talked strictly work. We were tired, he waited for my mom to pick me up at 1 am outside so nothing bad would happen to me, both of us under an umbrella, he apologized to my mom for having me stay at work so late and then went back home to his wife and kid. I NEVER, at ANY moment felt unsafe around him. He was my mentor, he was my boss, he was a good colleague and even somewhat of a friend.

So why on EARTH was I feeling SO UNCOMFORTABLE with this guy I had only met ONCE face to face in my life?

I start to voice my concerns. My mom and my sister think I'm only saying that because I don't want to go back to work. That I want to throw my career away because I can't control my anxiety and my feelings. We fight a couple of times and a couple of days. My mom tells my aunt about it. My aunt goes full FBI and does a background check on this dude.

That's when she told my mom some things weren't adding up. His LinkedIn profile was a little too weird and he had no ties whatsoever with the elected President of the Lawyer Association - was he really someone in their team for propaganda? Nevertheless, he did have an office and did work with digital law, both here and in the USA. I shouldn't let this opportunity slip.

I got so mad. SO MAD. To the point my sister decided to ask her boyfriend for his opinion on all of it and he was like "hey... your sister is kinda right. guy wouldn't offer to take ME to a nice restaurant to have lunch and go to his office later for a coffee, would he...? I mean, this never happened to me" - and sis' boyfriend is on the business meetings and negotiations/selling part of the spectrum. He knows what he's talking about.

So now I finally have a man validating my concerns.

I take the decision to shut the whole thing down. I go "very well, I will NOT meet him, I will NOT maintain contact with him, he's treating me like a whore he picked up on the street". At this point, I am FUCKING FUMING. But still, my sister and mom gave him the benefit of the doubt and made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

So I decided to marinate him for a while.

I should note that all his messages were sent close or around midnight, not at working hours. And I only answered at working hours. Since I was taking a while to respond, my dude just goes like, and I kid you not, "ooooh she's not answering, she's ignoring me, I don't like that *sad emoji*" LIKE A FUCKING 13 YEAR OLD (no offense, 13 y/o peoples, but this dude is a FULL GROWN ASS MAN).

I am offended, I am flabbergasted and I wish I could suplex him to oblivion.

I show my mom the message. She just stares at me in awe. She FINALLY is like "yeah, ok, this isn't very professional". ALL THIS TIME, I never really told her what I was thinking and what was really worrying me. And then I break her the news that, what I'm really afraid of, is that this guy is going to rape me in his car. Or he's going to drive me somewhere I can't fight or scream and then he'll rape me. Whatever the scenario, it ended up with me being raped and I was scared. SO. FUCKING. SCARED.

My mom goes into Sphinx mode - that's when she doesn't answer and doesn't even look at me and just ~thinks~. It's a brutal reality she doesn't like and I don't like it either, I mean, it's my safety we're talking about here.

I shut down the guy completely. I tell him there's a family emergency and I couldn't continue to give him any attention nor I could go out for that lunch and I couldn't talk anymore. He SUDDENLY goes cold and "I am sorry if any of my messages seemed inconvenient. Do answer when you have the time so we can make an appointment." And that's it. No more messages. He's done in my book.

My mom tells my aunt. Aunt goes Sherlock Holmes mode this time and, lo and behold, they find an website of this guy's office. My mom is shocked at how 90's internet it looks for a guy who works with digital law. She then recognizes the address of the office but the doesn't remember of any office building in that street - so she Googles it.

His "office" is actually a residential building - meaning, it was his home address. She shows it to me and I want to cry - out of rage, shame, fear, sadness. I go like "yeah, this is the place he wanted me to go, to his home. What was he going to do to me there, huh?" - and I think the answer is pretty obvious.

Later, speaking to my sister, she's like "I dunno why you're so mad" and I'm like "WELL MISS I just got PICKED UP LIKE A WHORE outside of an OFFICIAL EVENT for the NATIONAL LAWYER ASSOCIATION while I was DRESSED UP PROFESSIONALLY and looking for PROFESSIONAL opportunities and I COULD HAVE BEEN RAPED. I think I have all the right in the FUCKING WORLD to be FUMING."

That's when we diverged some more. She just said like "hey that's how the world works: women are treated like whores - you weren't the first one to have this happen to you and you won't be the last. What are you gonna do about it? Get over it."

Oh. Boy. I looked at my sister's eyes. I saw her just staring at me weirdly. A storm was approaching. The skies darkened. Bury the Light started playing in the background. Vergil's doppelgänger was standing behind me like an angel of death. (All DMC references for my non-DMC peoples)

"Well. I wanna have power. So much fucking power in this world that no one ever even thinks about treating me like that again. So much power they will fear standing in front of me and saying those words - they will look into my eyes and shut up. So much power I will never be afraid to walk on my own again and I will never have to doubt my feelings when I'm feeling unsafe because some lowlife pitiful little shit decided I should be a whore to satisfy him. I want to have power so I will never be this helpless again."

Cue in my sister just sitting there with butter in the slice of bread in her hand, staring at me like "wtf man... do you need a hug...?" and me doing a dramatic exit back to my room to, well... Write the fanfic in question.

(For my DMC creatures: I never even thought of Vergil when I said all of this, I just noted that thought later in my diary and reading it a couple of days later I was like "omg I have become my worst enemy, fuck you Verge" because I kid you not, I used to hate this man with all the fibers of my being - hence where my longfic Nemesis came from. I realized I lived long enough to become my worst enemy - and maybe I hated him because Vergil made me look at the part of myself I didn't like and didn't want to admit existed *I'm laughing while writing this, I do find it weirdly amusing*)

DMC things aside, this WHOLE episode made me feel so frustrated. I never had anyone to validate me, only people doubting me or asking me if I lead him on, or what was I wearing, or if I smiled too much, if I was being too nice, if I said something inappropriate, and so on. I had to get it all off my chest and I thought maybe, juuuust maybe, Dante and Vergil would've been more supportive regarding that.

Because, you know, they know trauma and they are protective as fuck. They can have all the red flags and mental issues in this world, but I don't think they would EVER dismiss their partner - especially a woman - feeling unsafe and fearing being abused or raped. In order to trust, you have to give the person and opportunity and room to open up to you without judgements - and I do think they aren't very judgy people.

I mean, they are demons, for fuck's sake. They can't judge anything especially Vergil

Also, I don't blame my mom nor my sister (even if I got really mad at her). In the end, both of them wanted what was best for me, they thought it was an opportunity and wanted me to get my career back. Truth is, no woman knows how to act when this happens. And they didn't know how to act as well. They didn't want to think of the worst: just like I was doubting myself and my own feelings, they were doubting theirs as well. We ALL had to be validated by a man to admit something was wrong and we weren't hysterical.

Ok, ok, storytime over. But I felt like sharing this because people, you are ALWAYS valid in your concerns - and there's no clothing, no smile, no attitude, no NOTHING that JUSTIFIES abuse. If you're abused or feeling like someone wants to take advantage of you, especially sexually, YOUR FEELINGS AND FEARS ARE VALID. Don't shrug it off or water it down just because people are saying you're overreacting - if I had listened to everyone around me instead of my gut feeling that something was REALLY wrong, only the gods know what would've happened. But I'll tell ya, it probably wouldn't have been good for me.

At best, I'd be mad this guy would want to pick me up like a whore and I'd have to turn him down and take a ride home. At worst, he would've raped me - in his car, at the "restaurant", at his "office". We don't know, but I didn't want to "give luck to bad luck" as we say where I live.

I didn't have support, so I wrote a story to feel supported by the fictional characters I look up to - I wished SO bad I was dating someone, especially a man, who'd tell me he'd go through hell and back to keep me safe and wouldn't allow anyone to hurt me and validate my feelings. Someone who would make me feel safe and I wouldn't have to only rely on myself.

cue in V saying he too wanted to be loved and protected, I tell you, all this time I thought I hated Vergil when I had only found my nemesis in a mirror

So, don't ever doubt yourselves. Don't ever doubt your gut feelings. We might want validation and someone to keep us safe, but sometimes we don't have that and have to rely on our survival mode. It sucks, but there's a reason why that thing is called "survival": it keeps you alive. It keeps you going.

And no one, NO ONE has the right to say you're overreacting, you're being hysterical, you're reading too much into it, you're just trying to find the easy way out, you just don't want an opportunity because you're lazy, you're crazy and deranged, etc, etc.

If your gut is flapping red flags all around, then overreact. Be hysterical. Read too much into it, find the easy way out, be lazy, be crazy and deranged. Be the villain. Be the bad person. You're not perfect. You're not a princess. Be comfortable with people telling you you're bad - but never NEVER let go of your gut feeling when your safety is on the line.

That fucking thing WILL save your life. Being too nice, though, might not. Listen to yourself, be TRUE to yourself, and, again, don't be afraid to be bad.

Someday you might just find your half-demon man who will support you, protect you and treat you as an equal powerhouse, but until that day, keep on conquering your self-esteem and unwavering will.

I'm just saying all of this now because:

1 - I was too scared to talk about this for a looong time afraid the guy in question would find this, know it's me and my safety would be on the line again

2 - Just now I'm getting comfortable with the concept of being "seen as the villain" and being "seen as bad". My whole life I have been dancing around this because people always said I had a "difficult" personality. I watched Cruella recently and it hit home so hard. We do have things to learn from villainous characters and maybe this is just who I am. People are going to see me as bad so, who cares. Even if I'm not, it would do me good getting used to that idea - I can be more assertive to my boundaries and not allow any of this to happen again. So, there you go. It's an exercise everyone should do. Are you comfortable defending your ideas, your boundaries and your integrity even if people are mad you're not being a pushover/perfectly polite?

It's something I think all of us should think about ;)

Also

thanks for coming to my TED Talk :')

[pxmun]

Back at Shining Time Station, Schemer and Billy Twofeathers cautiously approached the once beloved place. Billy could hear Schemer's nickel dispenser jingling due to the former arcade owner shaking from fear. Back in the day Schemer was just afraid of the ghost that he believed haunted the station, but since the incident on that final day he found out that the scariest things in this world weren't ghost that go boo. The two stopped right in front of the entrance door. Both men were hesitant as they didn't know if the station had acquired any unwelcomed occupants during its years of abandonment. Billy carefully creaked the door open, once he did Billy carefully listened for any sounds of movement or breathing. When no sound came, Billy called out into the darkness. No answer. Much to Schemer's protest, Billy instructed Schemer to follow him into the station. Schemer stuck close to railroad engineer as they entered into the darkness. Once inside, Billy took out a little flashlight from his back pocket and clicked it on. They needed to find the workshop and see if the breakers could be used to restore power to the station. Billy used the wall to help guide Schemer and him to the workshop. Schemer was still trembling, so Billy tried to make small talk to help calm Schemer down. "Seeing the old "To All Trains" sign reminds me of the day Kara and Schemee brought Darius from the hospital for the first time, he was a really little guy back then." Billy said. "Yeah, I remember. Now he's so big, D-man could probably pull the Rainbow Sun all the way to Cloggyville." Schemer chuckled. "I remember when we threw Romeo's fourth birthday here, boy I really didn't think that hire-a-clown thing through. The kids didn't appreciate my performance." Schemer said. "Well, you did try and charge them for their free balloons and for the air to inflate them." Billy recalled. "Hey, I was already performing for free! The parents could've least left a tip." Schemer argued. Billy just gave him a disapproving look. "Come on Billy, you know I would never scam my own grand nephews and grandniece, everybody else though, well now that's a different story." Schemer continued. Billy just rolled his eyes. Somethings never changed. A sudden creak caught the two men's attention. Billy immediately shined his light in the direction of the noise, a figure stood were his light shone. Schemer shrieked like a little girl while jumping into Billy's arms. In return the figure yelped in surprise. To Billy and Schemer's shock, in front of them was a little girl. It was Holly. "Hey there little lady, what are you doing here"? Billy asked. "Sorry, I didn't mean to trespass, I'm just trying to catch a train to..." Holly stalled as she tried to think of a town. "Muffle Mountain." Holly stuttered. Billy got suspicious. "Muffle Mountain. that's quite the ways away for someone to travel, especially at night in an abandoned train station." Billy said. Holly felt nervous as she knew Billy didn't believe her. Billy saw this and tried to be gentle. "It's alright, you're not in trouble. We just want to make sure you're not lost or in any danger." Billy assured. Holly was still unsure; she didn't think the two men would believe her. "I am here to catch a train, it stops here at Shining Time Station when needed, as to where it goes well... Holly hesitated. "It heads too someplace, well, unbelievable." Holly said. Schemer also was suspicious of Holly. "Unbelievable, eh? What kind of unbelievable"? Schemer asked. "Well, like something you would need to see to believe." Holly replied. She looked at Billy, her eyes telling the man that she didn't want to explain any further. Billy began piecing things together; something told him the girl was more involved with the station than let on. The engineer knelt down to be eye level Holly. "I understand that for kids there are times where they feel like adults won't believe what they have to say. They feel like the grown-ups will think it's just excuses or just a child's imagination. However, Shining Time Station isn't like that. Schemer and I worked here before and we both have our share of unbelievable stories, some not even our fellow grown-ups would believe.  So, if there's something you feel there's important you need to say, we're here to listen." Billy assured. Holly was still hesitant, but she could tell that Billy was being genuine. She let out a calming breath before speaking. "I'm here to catch a train pulled by a magical engine named Lady. I need to go to an island called Sodor and see if Lady or anyone there can fix my hair, which magically grew back in a silver color thanks to the magic of my talking engine friend Spencer." Holly explained. "Pft, magic engines, magic hair? What do you take us for kid a couple of..." Schemer was interrupted when Holly removed her wool cap to reveal her sparkling hair. The two men looked on in disbelief. Schemer though quickly shook off his shock. "Nice try kid, but anyone can dye their hair silver. Now, what are you really here for"? Schemer questioned. "Schemer"! Billy scolded. "Oh, come on Billy! You're really going to believe this random girl's story about this island of Soda what you call it." Schemer said. "Schemer remember what I told you earlier after our call with Stacy"? Billy asked. "Yeah, I remember, but that was just a joke, right? All that talk about a little magic man named Mr. Conductor, gold dust, and an island full of talking trains. Come on Billy, I have more sense than to believe that." Schemer said. "Schemer, I'm not trying to pull a prank on you. All that stuff is real, don't you remember when you and Stacy switched personalities? When Schemee turned invisible? Or the time you were chased by a giant nickel"? Billy asked. Now it was Schemer’s turn to be interrogated. He stuttered as he recalled those memories. Schemer didn’t want to believe it; those experiences were scary and the thought of those things happening due to some force beyond human capability was terrifying. Schemer’s fear soon turned to anger as he realized what Billy said was true. “So magic is real, and for all these years you guys kept it a secret from me. What else are you hiding? What, next you're going to tell me that there is a band of little elves living and playing in my jukebox”? Schemer fumed. Schemer angrily strode up to the jukebox in question, he was upset that his coworkers and friends kept such a thing hidden from him. Schemer then gave a big kick to the jukebox and immediately regretted it as the pain began to register. “Ow, ow, ow”! Schemer cried as he grabbed his foot and hopped on the other, eyes clenched. When he opened them, the first thing he saw that a little doll dressed as either a retro bus driver or a retro gas station attendant. The doll looked at Schemer and gave a friendly wave hello. “AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH, little elf”! Schemer shrieked. Billy was nowhere near as surprised as Schemer, but he was still shocked to see the living puppet. Holly on the other hand was glad to see the puppet and soon approached. “Hi! I’m Holly. Do you live here with Mr. JJ Silvers and the Jukebox Band”? Holly asked. The puppet didn’t say anything, instead he took the little chalk board next to him and began writing something down with a piece of chalk. When he was done, he presented the chalk board to the three humans. “Hi Holly! I’m Roy, it’s nice to meet you. I do live here with JJ Silvers and the others, I’m JJ’s assistant. JJ and the others haven’t been back to the jukebox in a while, is there something I can help all of you with”? Roy asked. “I was wondering when Lady will be stopping here? I need to go to Sodor and see if anyone can turn my hair back to normal.” Holly asked. Roy quickly wiped off his board before writing again. “Let me check real quick to see if her line is active.” Roy wrote. Roy then hopped down from the jukebox, causing Schemer to yelp in fear.  “Wait Holly, you’ve been here before”? Billy asked surprised. “Yes, last time Mr. Silvers and his band brought me here to take a magic engine named Lady to Sodor.” Holly said. Schemer quickly composed himself. “Did you by any chance happen to see anyone else in the station when you were here? Like a really big guy, a teenage boy, or a girl around your age? They're my grandnephews and grandniece and they went missing, last we heard they were rumored to have been seen heading towards this station.” Schemer asked hopeful. “I did run into an older boy wearing a number four jersey and a blue, yellow, and red jacket.” Holly recalled. Schemer began to sob. “That’s him! That’s my grandnephew Romeo”! Schemer cried. “Please Holly, can you tell us if he’s, okay? Where is he”? Schemer begged. “He seemed alright and last time I saw him; Romeo was on Sodor.” Holly answered innocently. Schemer nearly fainted. “Sodor, of course it had to be Sodor”! Schemer whined. “Schemer it’s alright, from what Mr. Conductor said Sodor is a safe place so Romeo, Cleo, and Darius shouldn’t be in any danger.” Billy tried to assure. “Even if that’s so, I still want to see them for myself. When is this supposedly “magical” engine going to be here”? Schemer asked. Roy soon ran in. He quickly wrote something down. “Some bad news, Lady’s line is down. I don’t know when it will be active again.” Roy wrote. “Oh no! What are we supposed to do know”? Holly asked saddened. Roy then spotted the silver whistle around Holly's neck. He hastily scribbled something. “You have a whistle, that’s great! I can load it up with gold dust and you can use it to have your engine friend stop here at Shining Time Station”! Roy wrote. The puppet quickly entered the jukebox before coming back out with a bag full of gold dust. Roy was about to open the bag and fill Holly’s whistle but stopped. “You two grown-ups should stand back, too much gold dust for adults is bad.” Roy wrote. “Dangerous, how so”? Billy asked. “We don’t know why, but adults that get over exposed to gold dust have a bad reaction to it. If you two aren’t careful you can end up like me.” Roy warned. The two men were shocked. “What about the kids? Is overexposure to gold dust dangerous for them”? Billy asked concerned. “Surprisingly not. Kids can be directly exposed to this stuff for days on end and nothing bad happens, their completely immune”! Roy responded. With this new information in hand, Billy and Schemer backed away to a safe distance to avoid exposure to gold dust. Once Holly’s whistle was filled, everyone headed outside to the trains. Billy switched the lines so Spencer wouldn’t end up on a line that was blocked by old freight cars. When that was done, Holly took a big breath and blew into her whistle. PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! The sound was loud and echoed through the Indian Valley Railway. When nothing happened, Schemer spoke up. “What was that? Nothing happened! I’m sorry little Holly, but it looks like this puppet schemed...” A loud shrill whistle interrupted Schemer. Out of nowhere, a tunnel of light appeared and out of it was a familiar LNER class A4. “Spencer”! Holly beamed as she watched her friend approached. “My dear Holly it’s good to see you again and so soon”! Spencer smiled as he came to a stop before the girl. Billy was speechless, he knew of the island of Sodor and its talking engines from Mr. Conductor’s stories, but it felt so unreal to have one there before him. “It’s a talking train! It’s going to eat us, run”! Schemer shrieked as he tried to dart away but ended up tripping over his feet and into an old trash bin. Schemer passed out, when he came to Schemer found Billy standing over him. “Billy? What are you doing in my house”? Schemer asked groggily. “We’re not at your house Schemer, we’re on our way to find Romeo.” Billy said. “The kids, have we found the kids”? Schemer asked. “Yes, Spencer and Holly are taking us to them as we speak.” Billy assured. “That’s good. Where are we heading again”? Schemer asked. “Sodor.” Billy answered. “That’s what I thought.” Schemer said before passing out again, all the while Spencer was going along the golden track from Shining Time Station to Sodor.

[cat3ch1sm]

🐸| hello everyone! i made the mistake of staying up until 3am and came up with these cracked hxh headcanons. yes i know i write for hxh way too much which is why i need u guys to send requests for other fandoms😀 not that i don't love hxh hcs and ur totally welcome to send those in, but if u have any thoughts for the fandoms i write for send them in<33

🥝| also my birthday is in three weeks omg. stg i still feel like a little kid

🌱| anyways enjoy these hcs<33 they're definitely not canon but it is funny 2 imagine😭💀 ily guys

part 2 with the butlers??? let me know🤭

part 3 with the phantom troupe??? LMFAOO

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ maybe some homophobia?

how would the Zoldyck family react if they find out that hisoka and illumi are an item?

silva

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ bro is still kinda trying to get the "illumi likes men" thing. silva can kill hundreds of people at once and is the most feared assassin ever, but when it comes to his kids actually having... like... lives... his mind just empties.

・❥・so when illumi just pulls up with "hisoka and i are dating" in the most unemotional tone known to man, silva's brain doesn't really process it right off. he sits there for like ten seconds straight in silence with an intimidatingly blank stare. imagine the little "loading..." thing over his head

・❥・and then he gets it. he blinks. looks at hisoka and illumi awkwardly, with a brow arched or something. then looks down at kikyo, who is sobbing on his shoulder into his shirt.

・❥・he stares at his wife for a few more very long seconds before looking back up at his son and his maniac pedophile clown bf, rolling his eyes as he gestures with his head for them to just go.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

kikyo

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ she was never on board with hisoka and illumi's whole thing to begin with. she does not understand why Illumi wants to spend all his time with hisoka, who she thinks is creepy and overly eccentric, when he could be spending time with a lovely woman who also kills people to carry on the Zoldyck name.

・❥・and she really wasn't with the gay thing anyway. she would have lots of perfectly eligible murdery women meet illumi in hopes that they would get together and bear a Zoldyck child. but here he is. kikyo just cannot understand it.

・❥・although, it's a tiny bit less about the gay stuff than it is about the fact that it's hisoka. hisoka. him of all people. why? his aura is repulsive, he runs around in crop tops, heels, waist trainers, makeup, and pink hair. illumi had already been poisoned, kikyo could tell, when he started with the crop tops as well. but it had been worse than she had thought. now here they were, the disgusting clown and her perfect illumi saying they were dating.

・❥・it was enough to make her burst into tears- and cry she did. the second illumi finished his sentence, the waterworks began. now it was too late.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

zeno

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ "Like I care. Just don't have sex in the house."

・❥・enough said

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

alluka

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ i don't know how she'd find out, really. maybe killua told her? but despite the fact that Illumi doesn't even consider alluka a family member or even a human being, she'd be thrilled for him <\3

・❥・"Big big brother has a boyfriend? Really?!"

・❥・she'll want to know everything about hisoka- what he looks like, how he behaves, what about him attracted her brother. romance thrills her, no matter who it's between or if the people involved are trying to kill her☹️

・❥・"Will I get to meet him? :D"

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

kalluto

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ he'd been collecting clues for a while. he noticed when illumi stopped cutting his hair, when his clothing style changed, how much more often Illumi was going to hisoka for assistance in missions and such rather than his family- whether he actually needed the help or not.

・❥・and when illumi joined the phantom troupe "per hisoka's request," and when he spoke of an "engagement ring" and "prenup" despite there being other less fruity terms he could have used to describe the contract- kalluto was almost 100 percent sure.

・❥・ the kicker, though, was when kalluto found out that they had contracted each other to kill... each other. they both shared the same twisted idea of "romance" and "friendship," and this basically set kalluto's suspicions in stone.

・❥・so kalluto half-heartedly played dumb when Illumi announced their official status as a couple- but long story short, he wasn't surprised. he isn't really fond of hisoka, but he sees no point in messing with the relationship, so he doesn't care much overall.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

milluki

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ this mf doesn't look up from his computer screen and potato chips and weird dolls long enough to even notice that hisoka existed, let alone how much time he and his brother spent together. so he's wayyy out of the loop when illumi makes his announcement.

・❥・bro almost chokes to death on his snack when illumi's done. when he finally pulls himself together, he gives Illumi a look and is basically like "ew, weirdos"

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

killua

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ *screaming intensifies*

・❥・illumi. his psychopath brother. hisoka. the pedophile clown man who has a crush on his twelve year old best friend. dating. illumi. gay. with. hisoka. what the fuck what the duck what the fuck

・❥・this could go two ways. one, illumi makes his announcement, and killua immediately starts dramatically falling to the floor and screaming hysterically while pretending to vomit. may or may not ask if he can put a hit on himself. hell, he'll demand someone put a hit on him- he'll be waiting with open arms for them to come and end his misery

・❥・or, killua takes matters into his own hands. he doesn't react at all before calmly exiting the room, walking through the halls, entering mike's domain, and simply climbing up the dog's fur into his mouth. perhaps he'll take a stroll up to the roof of the house and throw himself off?? either way, he's ending this shit

[goddess-of-green]

May i request akatsuki babes react to their s/o accidentally throwing her bra onto their face? Like yk when u get home and the first thing u do is tear off that stupid boobie cage and toss it away? Yeah that happened except s/o didnt see them in the corner and her bra just happened to sky dive onto their face😂

Warnings: Fem!Reader, language, slightly suggestive themes

‹ Tobi

♣ Tobi just blue screens

♣ W-what? Why? What does this mean?

♣ He does not at all know how to handle the situation, he's so flustered

♣ Obito is even more confused than Tobi

♣ Is this some sort of cue? What is he supposed to do? How should he react?

‹ Pain

♣ He's kind of salty

♣ But he's mostly just acting annoyed to hide his withering blush

♣ Your bra, the one that you wear on your boobs, has just made contact with his face

♣ How embarrassing

♣ For you or him? He can't even tell anymore

‹ Itachi

♣ Itachi will calmly remove the bra from his face, and accept your flustered apology

♣ You will never know just how much you have affected him with this action

♣ He has to literally calm himself down so that he can maintain a straight-faced conversation with you

♣ Once you go to do something or leave the room, Itachi will put a hand over his heart and dramatically sigh, as if he just dodged a bullet

‹ Kisame

♣ Score

♣ Kisame doesn't mind in the least, in fact he's glad for the...distraction

♣ And he will voice that much

♣ And Kisame will laugh when he realizes it was unintentional

♣ He relishes in your flustered expression and teases you as you apologize

‹ Kakuzu

♣ Kakuzu will sit there, silently, with a bra on his head as he contemplates what to do

♣ You will be horrified once you realize what happened, apologizing and taking your bra off his face

♣ He might have been irritated at first, but the expression on your face makes him forgive you

♣ He won't admit it, but he likes the look of you blushing and apologizing, with your bra in hand

‹ Konan

♣ She will freeze, blushing as she waits for you to remove it

♣ Konan will quietly accept your apology, red-faced as she tries to get herself back in proper working order

♣ You might laugh at her shy expression, which will only make her blush harder

♣ Just hug her and say you didn't mean to, she won't be able to look you in the eyes for a week otherwise

‹ Sasori

♣ He is not amused

♣ "Dearest, I am not your coat rack."

♣ Once you realize what happened and apologize, he'll smirk

♣ If you wanted him to give you more attention, you should have just said so

‹ Deidara

♣ You already know his inexperienced ass doesn't know what to do

♣ A-Ahaha funny joke babe please remove the underwear from my head now

♣ If you laugh at him he will die of embarrassment

♣ He is honestly more embarrassed than you are

‹ Hidan

♣ "Aww, you shouldn't have babe. My birthday isn't for a few months."

♣ This clown

♣ He will be disappointed when you apologize for it

♣ Aw, you mean that wasn't an invitation?

‹ Zetsu

♣ W-What is this? Is it an act of affection?

♣ White Zetsu will blush furiously, Black Zetsu will resist but he's also flustered

♣ Black Zetsu might be irritated but he's also embarrassed so just take your bra off him and don't tease him and you're in the clear

♣ He might tease you if you blush and apologize, telling him you didn't mean to

[eldritch-spouse]

ok I wanna know what the clergy guys + breg and fasma like seeing reader in. like, vinnel likes clown garb on their s/o and krulu likes flowy white robes, but I wanna know what makes em hot under the collar 🤨

Breg loves your pajamas. Maybe it's just because he's seen you in a variety of them during his several visits to your bedroom at night, but lord does he think cute funny nightgowns and shorts with dumb patterns make for the best looks on you. Casual and comfy wear, essentially.

Call Fasma an old fart, he gets it, he does, believe him- But you'd look so good in a sheath dress, or a suit, whatever you feel fits you best. He'd love to see you all dolled up. You like polka dots? 'Cause he does. He really does. What about gloves? Maybe he can get a nice pair for you. Maybe, no promises...

Morell really wants to put his piglet in overalls. He used to wear many of those when he was young, courtesy of his dad mostly. Nonetheless, you'd look so adorable in a pair of those, oh he wouldn't be able to hold back the mad cooing. You can pick the color, it's more than fine as long as he gets to take pictures.

Gallon loves anything remotely elegant. Designer clothes, custom stuff, anything that stands out, with pizzazz. Now obviously, these are very expensive tastes, so it's a little more likely that Gallon will insistently nudge fancy clothing your way as gifts. How did he get your measurements? Don't worry too much, darling.

Vinnel will dress you like a performer any chance he gets. You ever wanted to look like a professional clown? Well, you kind of already are- No? Too bad, poppet! Sit your ass down, it's face paint time. Some days you'll be a jester, others you'll be a harlequin clown. Pierrot style maybe? How about a mime? The acrobat type? Oh, you're just so adorable! Give him a honk!

Santi thinks you look best in your birthday suit! Ah, just fucking with you- But he does have pervy tastes, to no one's surprise. You like lace, love? Let's hope you do, because the incubus knows the prettiest patterns to accentuate your lovely form. What about jewelry? Are you fond of Hell gold? Wear his rings, passion, you'll look gorgeous with them.

Grimbly's here to turn you into a literal doll. Let's hope, for the sake of your sanity, that you enjoy pink. Or needlessly intricate patters and frills. He's also doing your makeup! You're also getting an umbrella like him. Sunglasses, if you let him. Regardless of gender or preference, the bat will try to put you in at least one dress. Just one! Just one, okay? Please please please-

Patches, as a product of his time alive, has an odd liking of victorian styles, even if he himself has no fashion sense. And owns little items from that period of time. His fondness of big hats is probably a tell though. One day, he'd love to have a date where you two dress up in that style, if only just to satisfy that nostalgic craving.

Nebul, to no one's surprise, is into gothic styles. Purples and blacks and long flowing garbs, maybe even something that partially obscures your face? Generally, anything that isn't too bright. He might even gift you precious stones, all in dark hues. If he could have it his way, you'd dress in elegant robes all the time, with an almost cultish appearance.

Fank-e, also predictably, wants you in rave clothes. Fishnets and bulky boots, pants with pocket chains, neon shirts, glowing bracelets, several necklaces and chokers, bright rings- All the colors all the time. If his processors aren't having trouble trying to interpret your visage, then he's doing something wrong. OH- Will you let him dye your hair?? <:]

Sybastian, honest to God, has no preference. Though he loves anything that's scarce. In fact, if you could go around naked, he would throw a fucking party. Hell, he would go around buttass naked too, if he hadn't been forced into a loincloth eventually... You probably don't have a habit of it, but Syb would love to see you decorated with bones and skins.

Ludwig is also another one with little preference, but red is and shall always be one of his favorite looks on you. As well as hoodies. It reminds him of his younger self's sense of fashion, hoodies were his religion back then. Wearing anything loose will endear the demon to you a lot as well.

[firehouseonechicago]

One Chicago & 9-1-1 Prompt List

Hello everyone! I’m currently running low on ideas and thought a prompt list might help me get some inspiration. Requests are currently open, but they may take some time as my uni semester is starting back up again soon, but feel free to choose more than one prompt, and request away! 

The characters I write for are listed below:

|| Connor Rhodes || Will Halstead || Ethan Choi || Matthew Casey || Kelly Severide || Brian Zvonecek || Blake Gallo || Jay Halstead || Antonio Dawson || Adam Ruzek || Evan Buckley || Eddie Diaz || Howard Han || Bobby Nash ||

1. “You can’t just pretend like nothing happened”

2. “I can’t believe I listened to you”

3. “Is this...like a date?”

4. “I’m not letting you go in there alone”

5. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you”

6. “You can’t bribe me with pizza and wine, but nice try though”

7. “You know, when you told me that you were crashing on my couch, I kind of expected you to help out around my apartment”

8. “I’m so lucky to have you in my life”

9. “Don’t you dare scare me like that again...I almost lost you”

10. “You do realise that you owe me one, right?”

11. “Stay with me, I’m going to get you out of here alright?”

12. “You look absolutely gorgeous”

13. “You might think that you run this place, but I’m afraid you’re wrong”

14. “You’re not doing this to me again. The last time you got me involved, I had to pretend to be your girlfriend to make her jealous”

15. “You know, sometimes I think you’re just using me for my good looks and charm”

16. “I just want one romantic night, just the two of us”

17. “I can’t believe you”

18. “Are you sure you packed everything? You know how fussy my parents can be”

19. “Wait, are asking me out on a date?”

20. “Carnivals have never really been my thing, clowns always give me the creeps”

21. “Look I appreciate your concern, but I am completely fine. I am okay, so stop worrying about me”

22. “Stop trying to pretend that you are okay, because I know you’re not”

23. “You’re so adorable when you put your mind to something”

24. “Right now? Here? What if we get caught?”

25. “Are you okay? You don’t look so well”

26. “Come on, let’s go for a romantic getaway somewhere”

27. “He loves you, so don’t give up hope”

28. “Can we just cuddle? I need you”

29. “Are you sure about this? I don’t think this looks good on me”

30. “Look, I like you okay? It hurts to see you with her, and I just thought that I might as well get this off my chest because I’ve been meaning to say it for a while”

31. “You did all this for me? You’re so sweet”

32. “I’m fine, it’s just a small cut” “That’s a lot of blood for a small cut”

33. “Come on, give me a chance”

34. “Am I....are you?”

35. “Because I love you, and I want you to be happy”

36. “Wait, what are you doing? Oh my god, are you proposing to me?!”

37. “Are you happy?” “I am the happiest I have ever been”

38. “Let’s play twenty questions. You ask me a question, I ask you a question, it’s a way to get to know each other”

39. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

40. “You broke my heart, and all you can say is sorry?”

41. “Stop laughing at me, it was an accident”

42. “Don’t look at me, I’m a mess”

43. “My life is so messed up right now, I just...I don’t want to mess us up”

44. “I came back because I love you, and I made a mistake”

45. “This weekend is going to be the best”

46. “Wanna bet on it? First to make the Captain blush, and the loser has to take the winner on a date” 

47. “You can’t look at me like that and not expect me to kiss you”

48. “My knight in shining armour” “Oh it was a spider, calm down”

49. “You didn’t have to wait up for me”

50. “A birthday party without a cake! That is a sin!”

51. “I can’t wait to introduce you to everyone as my wife”

52. “I’m pregnant, not crippled”

53. “We’re not talking about this here”

54. “Please just give me some space, otherwise I’m going to have a panic attack”

55. “He’s sleeping, do you really want to wake him up?”

56. “So what if I butt-dialled you when I was drunk? You cheated on me and I was at a low point in my life”

57. “I feel like I need a good cry, some wine, and ice cream. I feel like that will make me feel better”

58. “You don’t get to blame that on me, our relationship falling apart wasn’t my fault!”

59. “You are more than enough for me, you know that”

60. “I swear, I have no idea how that got there”

61. “What did I do to deserve you?”

62. “I’ll meet you at that new Italian place at seven. Remember, you owe me”

63. “I know, but they are only here for the weekend. We just have to tough it out. I promise I’ll make it up to you”

64. “Oh god, I feel like my head is about to explode. We shouldn’t have done that”

65. “Why do I have to give your parents the tour?” “Because they love you, and it would mean the world to me if you had to face the brunt of their insults and not me”

66. “Not in front of the children, please”

67. “I can’t do this, I’m not ready to be a mother”

68. “I’m already the mother of an entire firehouse, are you sure you want another kid to raise?”

69. “Oh, I’ve cried in here hundreds of times. You just happened to catch me, that’s all”

70. “You and I need to figure out what the hell is going on between us, because we both know that this means more to us than just a fling”

71. “Remind me never to leave you unsupervised again”

72. “That last call, it just...it just really took it out of me, you know?”

73. “Contrary to popular belief and my current profession, I don’t like hospitals”

74. “How many fingers am I holding up?” “.....I’m not answering that question”

75. “Okay, you’re going to the hospital”

76. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I’m sorry”

77. “It’s been a rough day, how about some ice cream and movies? Your pick”

78. “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it”

79. “I’m good at my job. If you can’t handle that, then maybe you should just keep your opinions to yourself”

80. “I was never good enough for you, was I?”

81. “Did you ever think that maybe I liked you like that too?”

82. “I never told you because I was scared” “Scared of what?” “I don’t know, how about rejection? Embarressment? The fact that every other girl you have dated is perfect and I’m not?”

83. “For once, just focus on yourself and stop thinking about everyone else. It’s okay to be selfish every once in a while”

84. “I’m sorry, this is awkward. I just needed you to know before-” “Before what?” “Before you make a mistake”

85. “I’m tired of going out of my way just to get you to notice me”

86. “You’ll be the death of me one day, I swear”

87. “Sometimes I think that I don’t deserve you”

88. “Considering our history, I think we’re ready to move forward with our relationship”

89. “Hey, you’re an hour late. What’s going on?” “This is going to sound really stupid, but...I’m stuck in my bathroom”

90. “You have no idea how much I love you”

91. “Please, I said I was sorry. Please stop with the silent treatment, I can’t take it anymore”

92. “How do you manage to lose an entire human being!? He was right there!”

93. “Oh no, no we’re not done discussing this!”

94. “I’m sorry, you did what?”

95. “What would you ever do without me?” “I would probably be in a heap on the floor without you”

96. “I have wanted to do that for so long”

97. “You say one thing, and they say another. Who exactly am I meant to believe?”

98. “Oh no. When I propose to you, it will be the most magical night of your life”

99. “I uh...we were just-” “I was checking her blood preassure!”

100. “Nice one, that was real smooth”

[katsukisblackteddy]

Okay, I know I already sent you another request, but this one...I just had to drop this one on ya. Can I request Bakugo, Hawks, Shinsou, and Dabi’s reaction to seeing their black s/o getting hit on in the most cringiest, fetishizing way while they’re standing next to them? Since the s/o is dating them, they know the things that should and shouldn’t be said to a black person, but the weirdo goes to them and says things along the lines of:

“Do you taste as chocolatey as you look?”

“Lemme conquer you in the bedroom”

“Twerk on me like Megan Thee Stallion”

And “Our kids are going to be great athletes”

Like the she is just stunned into mortified silence since she couldn’t process the audacity for someone to say something so disgusting. She’ll let her man’s handle it cuz the last thing she needs is to be charged with homicide.

(Trust me, writing those lines hurt me but not as much as it hurt when I was told these things 🤢)

“Why Don’t You Just Do Us All a Favor and Shut Up?”

You don’t understand how many times a trashy guy has said something like this to me thinking I would find it cute or attractive. So gross! As a society we need to do better and stop sexualizing and fetishizing black women and girls.

also the gif has nothing to do with this, I just thought it was cute.

Anyways...starts below the cut!

Warnings: swearing, fetishization of black women and girls, sleazy trashy guys, protective boyfriends, sexual implications

“Katsu, can we get ramen at that new place that just opened up the street?” (y/n) questioned, her (eye color) eyes wide with anticipation.

“Ok.” The usually explosive blonde agreed, snaking his larger hand into her slightly smaller one. (y/n) had finished training earlier and since it was a light day, Bakugou had suggested they walk around the downtown area. “It’s over this way, right?” (y/n) nodded simply, looking around at the different shops they passed on their way to the new ramen restaurant.

Ever since Katsuki had begun dating the black girl, he had calmed down significantly, though only around her...with everyone else he was just as explosive as he always was. The black girl was fiercely protective over her friends and especially Katsuki, though he didn’t really need it; probably a part of her tiger quirk, though it came off as more endearing than annoying.

“What are you gonna order?” She wondered, making small conversation as they waited to cross the street.

“What I always order.” He answered simply.

“The spiciest thing on the menu.” (y/n) and Katsuki said at the same time, (y/n) rolling her eyes with a smile.

“You won’t have any taste buds left if you burn them all off.” She teased as Katsuki rolled his crimson eyes at her, holding her close to him as they continued to wait.

A whistle caught the couple’s attention, Bakugou’s eyes narrowing as they fell on two boys standing at a shop located behind where they were standing. The two boys looked the same age if not a little older than (y/n) and Katsuki, the taller one had lime green hair and matching lime colored eyes. His pale face had a smirk plastered on it. The slightly shorter of the two had pink hair the color of bubble gum, lavender eyes focusing on the black girl, a smirk on his face also.

Despite (y/n) usually being confident, there was something highly uncomfortable about the way they were eyeing her that made her uneasy.

“Hey Riku, you think she’d go for someone like me? You know I have a thing for exotics.” (y/n) turned around, deciding to ignore them, they weren’t worth the time. She gripped Bakugou’s hand, turning him around, trying to think of something to say to distract them both from the annoying boys.

The ash blonde sent her a bewildered look, confused as to why she wasn’t going to say something to them. “They aren’t worth it. They’re extras, right?” She joked, flashing a half smile at her boyfriend.

Bakugou tched, but decided not to say anything since (y/n) didn’t seem to want him to.

“You know why exotics are the best?” The lime green haired boy questioned, loud enough to make sure Bakugou and (y/n) had heard it.

“Why Riku?” The bubble gum haired boy said, a creepy glint in his eyes.

“Because of that fat ass.” He snickered. “You think she’d let me get a taste of that chocolate?”

(Jesus Christ, I cringed writing that. 🤢)

Bakugou’s head whipped around to glare at the two boys, (y/n) turning around to look at them, holding herself back, but too shocked by what she had heard to catch Bakugou before he did something that would attract the attention of police.

“You two fucking clowns better shut the fuck up before you get a taste of my foot shoved so far up your asses it’ll be coming out of your fat fucking mouths.” Bakugou growled, punching them each in the face, making sure to heat up his hand so that it would definitely leave a mark.

(y/n) looked around to see a few people watching, as she let Bakugou beat up the boys before she finally decided it was enough. She placed a hand on his shoulder, as he looked up, the feral look in his crimson orbs dissipating to a gentle one.

“I just wanna go. Can we please, before the police get here?” She questioned as he punched them and kicked them a few more times before standing up and nodding.

“You won’t be fucking needing these either.” Bakugou said, going through their wallets, taking the money out before snapping the cards in half and tossing them on the street next to the boys who remained on the ground. “Let’s go.” He held out his hand, as she grabbed it and they walked across the street. “I hate these fucking extras.” He grumbled as they got to the ramen restaurant. Bakugou Katsuki had every intention of using the money he had just taken to pay for everything, it was the least they could do.

The woman was on her way to her apartment, getting off early from her patrol because not only was it a Friday, but the day after was her 23rd birthday and her pro-hero boyfriend seemed to have planned something, despite her telling him he didn’t have to.

Her phone rang, taking (y/n) out of her thoughts as she slid the answer button seeing her boyfriend’s picture pop up. “Hey Kei.” She answered happily, stopping at the corner, waiting to cross the street.

“Hey, Kid.” Came his response, causing the black woman to smile. “You got off early right? You wanna get (your favorite food/ drink)?”

“Really?!” (y/n) grew excited, her voice raising an octave as a laugh bubbled from her full lips. The couple was usually very busy and that meant they didn’t have a lot of time to just go to restaurants and walk around the downtown area, but since they had managed to get the afternoon and weekend off, Hawks was going to take full advantage of it.

“Yeah.” He laughed back. “I’ll meet you there?”

“Ok! Love you.” She told him.

“Love you too, Kid.” He said back before hanging up. (y/n) crossed the street, walking towards their favorite restaurant, her hero costume folded in the black backpack she wore on her back. She too was a pro-hero, though she wasn’t as popular as her boyfriend, she had recently gone pro in Japan, already a famous pro in her native country. She slid her phone into one of the pockets of her black jeans, her simple white t-shirt half tucked into her pants.

She increased her stride, her smile widening as she saw the crimson wings of her boyfriend up ahead. He turned around his own smile growing as she got closer. “How was patrol?” She asked him as he hugged her, the pair pulling away and intertwining hands.

“It was fine...kinda boring.” Hawks answered as they walked inside the establishment.

“Woah.” The cashier said softly, after ringing up your orders. Hawks paid, even though she protested though he responded by saying it was her birthday weekend and she wasn’t allowed to pay. The cashier, who seemed a little older than the two of the pros, named Ukyo, handed her her drink practically ignoring Hawks.

Keigo frowned, growing slightly annoyed, though he wouldn’t really peg himself as the jealous type, Ukyo just made everything very uncomfortable and Hawks was growing irritated that (y/n) was uneasy. It was the protective nature in him, which he would admit could get a little intense at times.

“Um, thanks.” (y/n) replied with a slightly awkward laugh before looking at Hawks to say she was ready to go. They had planned to walk through the park nearby. As they were stepping away, Ukyo called out.

“Hey wait, pretty girl!” He called out, catching the dark skinned woman off guard. “You forgot something.” She turned, raising an eyebrow before going back towards where Ukyo stood behind the counter. He held out a napkin to her, his messy chicken scratch handwriting on the piece of paper. “It’s my number. You should call me sometime, I’d love to get to know you more.”

“I already have a great boyfriend.” (y/n) replied, giving him a smile as he still pushed the napkin to her, managing to stuff it into her bag. At this, Hawks stepped closer, still remaining silent, wanting to let her handle it because he didn’t want to come off as overbearing or suffocating. “Really, I’m not interested. I love my boyfriend.”

“Who? Him? But our kids would be so cute! They’d be great athletes, you know?” He smiled widely at her, grabbing onto her wrist to stop her from leaving. Hawks had heard enough, at (y/n)’s silence and the way her eyes seemed to bore into his own, he dislodged some feathers, sending them at the cashier, stopping them a few centimeters away from him.

“Let her go, before you make me really mad.” Hawks said, glaring at the male, sharpening the feathers into blade-like devices, his golden eyes shining with anger.

“Chill out, Man! She’s hot! She was practically asking for it!” Ukyo put his hands up, Hawks’ eyes narrowing as a growl almost sounded from deep in his chest.

“You’re lucky my girlfriend’s here.” Hawks chuckled darkly, as (y/n) placed her hand in his own. “I would’ve cut your disrespectful racist ass.” Hawks walked away with (y/n), sending the feathers at the wall behind the cashier, just narrowly missing him.

Hawks smirked as he stepped outside, hearing the high pitched scream that came out of Ukyo at the feathers going near him, fearing he was about to be sent to the hospital. Hawks glared at him through the shop window, his wings flapping behind him as if he was about to send more feathers causing Ukyo to scream again, though this time a wet spot began to grow in his khaki colored pants.

Hawks’ eyes lit up as a loud laugh fell from his mouth causing (y/n) to laugh lightly. “Fucking bitch.” Hawks muttered as they walked towards the park. “I should’ve sent the feathers into him.”

“No, you did enough Kei.” (y/n) giggled, Hawks growing happy that he had gotten her to laugh after that rude cashier incident.

Every week after that Hawks would purposely walk past the shop, launching a feather through the window and into the wall, an adult sized diaper held to the wall by the sharp crimson feather, a note usually attached saying:

‘just thought you might need to start wearing these.

I hate you,

Hawks.

Ps: Show this to anyone, tell anyone about this, or do something like that to another person again and I’ll send the next feather so far up your ass, you’ll need surgery to remove it. xoxo’

(i decided to insert another character, like Mineta but 100x worse and not jokingly either. His name is Shintani Narisuke.)

(y/n) was sitting in the common room where everyone from the general studies class usually hung out during their down time. Although, surprisingly it was empty except for the purple haired Shinsou and his lavender haired girlfriend, (y/n). It honestly was just a coincidence that the pair both had purple hair, though the girls from their class thought it was the cutest. (y/n) placed her head on one of Shinsou’s shoulders as they watched a random movie on his laptop, pushing her goddess braids so that she could be more comfortable.

The common room was empty only because one of (y/n)’s friends and classmates had told everyone that they couldn’t go into the common room because Shinsou and (y/n) were on a date. Everyone obeyed her...she was kind of scary when she was determined about something.

“How can he just get away with that?” (y/n) questioned, placing some popcorn into her mouth, pausing to place some in Shinsou mouth as they continued to stare at the screen. The pair alternated, the next time Shinsou threw some into his mouth and then fed some to (y/n).

“I hate that guy...he reminds me of that annoying little grape kid in 1-A.” Shinsou mumbled, causing her to laugh.

“Mineta?”

“We don’t speak his name.” Shinsou joked as the pair broke out into laughs again.

“Hey (your nickname)!” The pair turned, Shinsou pausing the movie, to see Shintari Narisuke enter the room. (y/n) raised an eyebrow at the use of her nickname, that ONLY Shinsou used for her.

“It’s (your full name).” She corrected him.

“Aw, don’t be like that.” The average height boy pouted, sitting down next to her, causing Shinsou to sit up more, a frown on his face.

“What do you want, Shintari? We’re busy here.” Shinsou chimed in, slightly annoyed as he rolled his tired purple eyes.

“Not that busy.” The aqua blue haired boy responded, flashing a fake smile at Shinsou. His eyes narrowed as the frown on his face deepened.

“What do you want?” Shinsou repeated.

“Hey (y/n)...” Shintari dragged out, looking at the black girl with big eyes.

“Yes?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you kind of look like Megan Thee Stallion?”

“No…” The girl answered, confused as to where this was going. To her they looked nothing alike, though she was one of her favorite female rappers. “We don’t even look alike.”

“Your ass does though.” He answered smugly. “You think you could split on me like she does?” (y/n)’s eyes widened as she tried to process what he had just said. She was at a loss for words, completely surprised that he would go that far.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Shinsou grew angry, standing up and getting in the blue haired fool’s face. He had noticed that she was still slightly shocked, which is why he decided to handle it, because normally she was the one that would jump to put someone who needed it in their place.

“She heard me. Right, (your nickname)?” He said teasingly, his eyes not even looking at Shinsou. The usually disinterested male grew increasingly more angry, at being ignored and at the boy for using his nickname for his girlfriend.

“Do you think you could answer something for me?” Shinsou questioned catching the boy’s attention as Shinsou’s grip on his shirt tightened.

“Yeah, what do you want, Villain?” Shintari asked, falling for the trap. Shinsou’s purple eyes glowed softly as he activated his quirk.

“Shut the fuck up and…” Shinsou paused, really wanting to tell the kid to go take a long walk off of a short pier, but he knew he would probably be in trouble if he did that, so he took a deep breath. “Lock yourself in your room for the rest of the week and don’t come out.” Shinsou ultimately decided, letting the boy go with a smug smirk watching him walk down the hall.

The purple haired male turned, his focus going to his girlfriend who had a sick look on her face. “You okay, kitty?” He asked softly, sitting beside her. She simply wrapped her arms around him, listening to his steady heartbeat.

“I hate that asshole.” She mumbled.

“I do too.” Shinsou agreed. “I’m sorry he said something like that to you. That was fucking gross.”

“Thanks for handling it.” She half smiled at him. “I think I would’ve killed him...then he really would’ve called me a villain.”

“Who gives a fuck, let’s finish the movie.” Shinsou laughed lightly, causing her to laugh too. “Besides, he already calls me a villain.”

(For this one (y/n) works in a bakery)

The black girl came from the back of the shop, a tray of fresh cookies in her hands, the sweet smell filling the store. She opened the glass cabinet, carefully transferring the cookies inside before going to return the tray to the back of the bakery.

Customers sat throughout the store, reading books from the bookshelves in the corner, drinking their coffees and teas while working, or simply just enjoying the warm atmosphere with their friends. (y/n) came back to the front, taking her place behind the register after washing her hands.

She looked up from where she had been adjusting a machine to the door, the sound of the ringing bell meaning someone new had entered. “Hi Baby.” The deep gravely voice said. She could hear the smile in his voice as she looked up, her own smile growing as she immediately recognized the voice.

“Hi Staples.” She teasingly replied. “What are you doing over here? I thought you were busy today.”

“I needed more.” He replied, holding up the bag at his side with the black hair dye inside.

“You want my help when I get off?” She clarified as he nodded, his blue eyes looking over her appearance. “What? You don’t like my uniform?” A soft smile on her face as she wiped down the counter.

“No, you look good.” His signature smirk appearing on his burned face. (y/n)’s heart fluttered slightly, the fiery boy never failed to make her heart skip a beat even after two years of dating.

“I get off in 50 minutes. You wanna hang around? I just made a fresh batch of cookies.”

“The ones I like?” His eyes seemed to sparkle like a kid in a candy store. Dabi loved to act big and bad, and that side of him was definitely...hot, but you loved to see the goofy childish side of him as well.

“Yeah, your favorite.” She replied, a large smile on her face as he nodded quickly, the dark hood of the sweatshirt pulled up on his head. “Alright. Here. I’ll be done soon.” She handed him a few cookies, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he slinked off to the seat he usually took in the corner of the shop when he waited for you.

(y/n) watched as he stood, picking up a book he had already started last time he came, sitting back down and flipping to the page he had left off on. Dabi...Touya wasn’t a bad guy, no matter what anyone told her, otherwise.

She was pulled out of her thoughts at the chime of the bell, a blonde man walking into the store. He must’ve been a traveler because he looked lost, especially with the way he had pulled up directions onto his phone. (y/n) gave him a friendly smile, “Hi, what can I get you?”

“I’ll take a...hot chocolate.” He said weirdly, giving her a smirk as his light eyes trailed up and down her body, at least the part that wasn’t hidden behind a counter. She nodded uneasily.

“Anything else?” Her mood had dropped, already tired of the male customer.

“How about your number?”

“No, sorry. I’m working and I-” He cut the girl off as she handed him his drink, ringing it up after she had made it.

“Come on, if it’s because I’m white...I’m hung like a black guy, if you know what I mean.” He said to the girl, Dabi’s eyes narrowing as he practically glared a hole through the blonde man.

“E-excuse me?” (y/n) repeated, blinking as she ran her hands over her apron, stepping back from him. She wasn’t even sure that had just happened, nothing that bad had ever happened at work before, just the occasional Wow, so pretty or Your hair is so fluffy, like a cloud from a few children when she wore it in an afro, that made her smile though, the kids were cute and everyone was generally respectful.

“If that’s why you won’t give me your number, you don’t have to worry about that.” He repeated.

“Yeah, I’m gonna need you to shut the fuck up.” Dabi chimed in, catching his girlfriend completely off guard. She hadn’t even noticed he had come up behind him or moved from his seat.

“What’s your problem man? I don’t think this involves you at all.” The blonde guy shot him a glare before turning back to the black girl behind the counter and stepping closer. Dabi’s blue eyes seemed to hold small flames in them as his anger grew. A dark chuckle left his lips as he harshly brought his hand down onto the blonde shoulder, heating it up until the man’s jacket was practically smoking.

“That’s my girlfriend, man.” Dabi told the man mockingly, his voice low and his eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t mind you calling her pretty, because she’s gorgeous but if you disrespect her, then you’re gonna deal with me.”

“Ew you fucking creep. I’ll call the police.” He threatened after turning and seeing Dabi’s face. Dabi tilted his head to the side slightly, a slow smile growing on his face, though it seemed more eerie than anything.

“I’ll give you something to call them about.” Dabi threatened. “Now, why don’t you leave and if I see you around here again, I’ll burn your ass so bad you’ll be virtually unrecognizable.”

“Fuck all of you. This place is shit anyway and the bitch behind the counter looks like a fucking monkey.” The guy announced going to walk out of the bakery.

“Not acceptable. Apologize.” Dabi demanded, his hand going around the blonde’s neck as he heated his hand up, making sure it would leave a burn.

“Sorry.” The guy cried out, Dabi rolling his eyes before shoving him towards the door, a scoff leaving his lips as the guy tripped on the way out.

“You know you’re gorgeous right?” Dabi questioned as (y/n)’s best friend and coworker told her to go home after that incident. Dabi grabbed (y/n)’s hand, waving back at her coworker before the couple walked towards their apartment, (y/n) excited to dye Dabi’s hair.

Tags:

[forbidding-souda]

Can i request ibuki with a ultimate clown S/O? (Any gender)

Ibuki Mioda with a SHSL Clown Girlfriend

Idk if gender neutral counted as a gender so i didn't chose it. But when i make requests I always say any gender in hopes they pick girl so I'm gonna make this one girl

currently listening: jerry was a race car driver by primus

playlist: monty gator

-Mod Souda

❤ She loves your energy when you're in character. The way you smile and talk in that high, sweet voice to children just makes her feel so energized. She wishes you would talk like that all the time. Whenever she is sad she asks you to put on that front. She will want you to make her balloon animals and to try and teach her how to juggle. Seriously, she really does practice juggling. You just look so cool doing it. She wonders if she can pull off juggling while performing. She tries to do most of your tricks. Teaching her is a fun way to pass the time, as the two of you usually spend hours together when she asks you to teach her the tricks to being a clown. She is incredibly interested in your profession and maybe a little too much.

❤ Will give you new ideas for your costumes and face paint. Though you have a pretty recognizable look, Ibuki always tries to convince you to add her little alternative twist to it. On days where the two of you hang out, sometimes you'll let her use your clown makeup and create a look on you. She mostly makes it corpse-paint themed - more God Seed than Mayhem - which is something you cannot wear in front of children. Makeup on her? She would much rather prefer to put it on you, but if you desperately want to turn her into a clown then she won't deny you. She might even post a few pictures online.

"You should put a really really really long line of handkerchiefs in your pants so whenever we make out you can be like, "Put your hands down my pants." And then I pull it out like woah!" She talks with her hands, laying on your lap and looking up at the ceiling. You comb your fingers through her unstyled hair.

"I'll do it a year from now so you won't remember." You say softly, focusing in on how pretty her scintillating eyes look in the dark.

"Oh my goodness, I'll make sure to forget it faster, I can't wait that long." She looks up and meets your eyes.

"Then I'll give you a month." Your hand brushes against her cheek. She immediately leans into it, whining a bit when your hand leaves, so you cup her cheek, your thumb close to her lips. After giving it a kiss, she looks up at you with wide eyes and her voice unfeigned.

"Did Ibuki suggest a good idea?"

"Better than the last one."

With that, she stiffens again, shifting back into her loud, excited self. "Whaaaa - you don't want to take me out in a teeny tiny car?"

You hum. "I do not have a teeny tiny car."

She sits up, resting her palm on the mattress as she leans her body so it face yours. She whispers in a slow, jocular tone, "I can get you one."

❤ Ever since she found you, she has had a hard time ever being sad. Whenever she gets a little down she will just think of you and it brightens her mood immediately. You're her special one.

❤ She always calls you 'cutie'.

❤ "Whatever you say, cutie!"

❤ Any other pet name is beyond her. Cutie is your designated word. Even when you first met, one of the first things she did was call you cute. It fills you with confidence - at least you know she's genuine about it.

❤ Even as she walked away after the two of you met, you heard her say (loud as ever) "what a cute girl!"

❤ She had never stopped using the -chan honorific with you. It ties in with her calling you cutie.

❤ She likes giving you flowers, the ones that squirt water, on days like anniversaries and your birthday.

❤ I can see her adding circus-like rhythms and sounds to her music. Something like a song in 3/4 or the sound of a horn honking before it gets heavy.

❤ She thinks of you two as very similar - you both made your professions something that bring smiles to peoples faces. Hers is through the music she loves and yours is through your charming characteristics. She adores how similar you two are. But also your individuality - the uniqueness is possibly her favorite thing about you.

[https-sen]

A Birthday Date with The Haikyuu Boys

(if its your birthday or birthday month rn, happy birthday ily :DD)

[ALL genders (including males) are allowed to read my fics <3]

Genre: Fluff :3

Pairing(s): Kenma x gn!reader

Characters:

Yamaguchi Tadashi & Kenma Kōzume

clowns/note: this is an excuse to write something like these because my birthday is on the 24th of May 🤭 but anyways i hope you enjoy, im not a professional and didnt proofread it since im lazy so im sorry if there are mistakes or if theyre out of character 🤡 i do these little fics entirely for fun! (i was thinking of an animal crossing or minecraft date but fuck it-🤺)

Kenma Kōzume

* click * * click * * click *

The sound of Kenma's keyboard clicking loudly as it awoken your peaceful slumber. Rubbing the sleep and tired from your eyes, you muster up a sleepy "Good morning" that made your sleep-deprived boyfriend perk up by the sound of your voice greeting him at 8 in the morning.

"Good morning, kitten."

He said sweetly, getting up from his gaming chair, giving you a kiss on your forehead followed by a "Happy birthday my lovely s/o" with a smile on his face. "You remembered?", you asked him in slight surprise, getting up from your cozy bed and putting on your Kuromi bunny slippers. "I might be playing games a lot but that doesnt give me an excuse to forget.", pouting slightly offended that you would think that he would stoop that low. Giggling softly, you tuck his hair around his ear and cupping his face with a reassuring "I love you" before getting up to take a shower.

"Pudding, whats all this?"

You asked him lovingly as you see the blonde boy in a kitty apron holding a shiba-inu spatula in his hand with flour on his left cheek (I CAN SEE THIS ONG 🥺). "Oh! You know that I'm not much of a cook so I found this 'Cloud-Bread' recipe on Pintrest and it didnt look so hard so I tried it..", he explained bashfully fiddling with the cat paw teaspoons you had. "I wanted to make you a special homemade birthday breakfast since you always make them for me but I made a mess instead, sorry. I'll make sure to clean ir up though!", he avoided eye contact and looked down at the floor. "Aw, bubs its okay I'm not mad with it, not one bit. Thank you for your hard work, now let's try it and cheer up okay?", you hugged him and rubbed circles around his back. Nodding, before he smiled, handing the little blue plate with an attempt of a pink heart-shaped bun with messy writing out of frosting reading out, "Happy Birthday Y/N <3". (imagine this though 😭) "Mmm, it's really good! It isnt over sweetened and its not burnt or has chunks in it, I'm really impressed.", after you take a bite from his little masterpiece. With a happy look tinted with his blushing red cheeks he took a bite himself.

"Wait, why'd you get me these Ken-Ken?"

Eyeing the pretty expensive looking ring in the little jewelry box on the coffee table thinking on how it costs a fortune. "I kinda knew I'd fuck the bread up so I got this just in case." Looking at him with a bewildered face full of awe and confusion, "But you didnt fuck anything up?? I told you I loved it and I even ate the entire thing as you watched me accidentally chocking within a few bites.", giggling softly he replied with "It'll be a waste since I got it either way and I know you collect these a lot anyways" Stuttering a protest, you got shushed by his finger along a scentence followed by a kiss on the cheek, "It can be our promise ring for now until we get married in the future, growing old together with kids and a great life ahead of us" Pulling him into a hug, you stayed there in each others arms as the sun setted with the thoughts of when the outcome will happen. "But for now, I'm glad being here with you."

BRO THIS SHIT BE MAKING ME FEELING SAD THAT IK I'LL NEVER GET THIS RELATIONSHIP LMAO 💀 idk if its just me but i think my writing is getting better? oh well- pls gimme a follow if u like what u read to support me :( i hope you enjoyed this <3 have a great day :> stay hydrated, healthy and safe! remember that ily, reader ^-^

[just-pineapple-responses]

Just curious, how many shower thought (response) blogs are there? I just dived into this side of tumblr (not gonna make any posts its fun to read though) and I'm already losing my mind

Well there is

The. Literal. Sun.

Plasma...

S p a c e

ALL HAIL THE LIGHT

The void. It shall consume ALL.

A typewriter incase anyone wants to write their will before they die

Also some ink, not related to the typewriter

Also some words, I wonder who'll use them

A hat with no maker and a maker with no hat

The pen is mightier than the sword. It just so happens that this one is evil. Luckily I can summon multiple

Anyone order some coffee?

Ooo, an author

The literal embodiment if of fanart

A fork, nom noms

B҉ r҉ o҉ k҉ e҉ n҉ 

Soap

Soap(for hair)

Toothpaste

🄵🄰🅄🄲🄴🅃

Towel

Bath mat

Washcloth

Bathtub

Bathwater

𝔹𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕓𝕠𝕞𝕓

Bubblebath!

One (1) bath boi

Some M͓̽o͓̽l͓̽d͓̽ (anybody got some strong disinfectant?)

Nvm, the mold has already caused a plague (gettit?) (although user misspelled it)

Nevermind, there's already a parasite here

Mirror

Door!!!

Some curtains

A denim jacket

Blackout

Rainbow

✨ Magic ✨

*Tree poses to assert dominance*

Coconut

(obviously me)

I think popeye dropped a tin of spinch and it became sentient?

Tost

Hummus. dip tost?

Criss Cross applesauce

Wibbly wobbly Wibbly wobbly jellyo

Mmmm océan s o u p

Some poison, a great addition for my soup

Smol bean

Potat

Shower magpie who I haven't seen in a while

Bird (brain)

Frog(×2:Electric Boogaloo)

An axolotl!

Ferret

*looks at smudged writing on hand. Squints. * a raccoon

Stinky bastard man (I just had to put the two next to each other)

Rat.

Becometh crab 🦀 (x2: Electric Boogaloo)

Nya~

Edgy Nya~

Tripod of dog

Brain

Nina i found one of your neurons (if you understand this reference, good job you)

A rotted brain, keep it away before it infects us all, I only have 2 braincells left

Did... Did someone drop their spinal cord?

The almighty binch

The titanic

Narrator

Water based introspection

Existential crisis

Dumbass

Also a pacifier (get it because they're also called dummies and their name is dummy)

A foolish thought to say a sorry sight join the shower community (as you can tell we did Shakespeare in English so many times i pretty much can recite everything lady macbeth said)

ADHD

Ominous

Anonymous

Anxious 🥺👉👈

Some edgy bastard

A person of culture I see (although obsessed with tweed for some reason)

1 Dapper boi

Sarcastic

nice

All smiles and sunshine

HAPPY! (why isn't there yellow 😔)

Affection (Derogatory) (I'm sorry I just felt like it)

~Petty~

Idiot

Disaster

Chaos and Order

Comebacks

'vanishing'

Defences

Threatened

Op is on drugs

All the F s

And F-general

Get out of the shower

Shower responses

Dry

The horny and the simp

Shower sins

Thower shoughts

I take quick showers

Shower thots

Last responder *countdown music*

You have shower thoughts?

Your shower thoughts are stupid

Wtf shower thoughts

Another shower responder

MORE

Just shower responses... responses

Response shower

NO SHOWER! only thought (×3)

Mmm, showery

Penny for your thoughts?

Hello darkness my old friend...

Llawyer

Beepbeep

Prussia

Haywire!!!

furry OwO

A Pigeon got in through the door, who left it open?

I'm feeling devious

You're looking glamorous, let's get mischievous, and polyamorous

Gay is stored in the ass

Gay

Trans

*opens door and walks through with you exaggeratedly* Fellas we got the whole LGBTQIA+ community right here

Enby

Hahaha gender go brrr

Lesbian

Lesbian-thot

Lust

Someone who thinks it funny to clown around

Joker (derogatory)

Haha straight

Dead inside

Some supervillain idk

News. Literally a shower news style responses

r

I cannot believe that I forgot Her Greatest Majesty, the Queen. All Hail Royal

Isaac newton?

M megamind?

Fiftieth

Crackhead

Some Phoenix Wright kinnie

What is a Dean Winchester and why does he have a tentacle fetish?

Well well well, if it ain't a homestuckian

Did someone kill/rob The Doctor or something, their TARDIS was left behind and its blocking my pretzels that I left in the shower

Mined crafts uwu

Well well well, if it ain't- *accidentally makes eye contact and is then killed by some unknown shadowy creature holding what seems to be some sort of cube of dirt*

GOTTA GO FAST

Mishamishamishamishamishamishamisha

Gen Z and ready to throw hands with OP

Not puki

Nom noms

Dip dap

Kensa

B͓̽u͓̽n͓̽g͓̽e͓̽r͓̽ ..........

Someone broke their space bar or something

It's time to d-d-d-d-d-dshower

The magical deity of sleepovers

DON'T FALL ASLEEP. NO MATTER WHAT THEY TELL YOU-

The muffin man genuinely left drury Lane for this

Txmblr

Moonlit nights on a winters day, stars glimmering gently

A child?

🟥

The fae. Just all of them. Every single one.

Crocus? (What on earth does that mean)

*sings* baba blacksheep have you any wool? Because if not you will be killed (this fits the tune perfectly. If not I have failed in everything)

The theatre itself is here... Somehow

Ahoy-hoy

boo

REEEE- *epic geometry dash gameplay to DanTDM's old intro music*

Yardale, not to be mistaken for riverdale and differs to lawn ale or front porch ale or even meter ale

I'll finish this list later

It's gonna be a long one folks

I'm including a ones that haven't spoken since ages ago because

Boy howdy there's new ones tell me who I'm missing now

Please stop thank you very much this is too many i keep having to add to this any new responder must kill a responder to continue the purge shall claim y'all as I will win i recently started watching Danganronpa

Seriously though everyone after mirror must have a battle royale it's too much i doubt all of you will even last longer than today also happy birthday me -dated:28th- do you even realise what sort of commitment you've made to sell pieces of your soul for entertainment and ability to make such epic retorts each and every post?! I sacrifice many souls DAILY to be throwing such bangers into this stuff y'know?

We have a tap guys we can finally wash our hands of all the blood of our enemies

Seriously though who left the door open I don't want a Pigeon pecking at me (the mishapocalypse got them lol)

So many responders so little time before the end of the world

If I'm missing someone please tell me very thank

There are not enough colours for me to assign a different one to each person 😔 also, wtf is on there twice on purpose

WorldHealthOrganisation IS MISSING (note: you may have a joke in place of name or under a category of names)

So there's lore without me?

ALL HAIL THE LIGHT *moth noises*

Okay now there's alternate timeline versions of responders for the benefit of myself they ain't going on the list bud

There is an incorrect role play blog quotes blog and I am crying. Not of laughter. Just wiuwhdhsjhshjxjabjsjdhdjsj

If any new people join I will go back to causing shower wars for the sake of killing you all I'm done I have snapped my laptop is updating 3 times in a row

I will commit crimes.

Does being a shower responder or role-playing seem encouraging to people to join this "community"? Because I'm pretty sure it's the latter

[astroboots]

💕💖💓💗💞HAPPY BIRTHDAY 💕💖💓💗💞

@thirstworldproblemss !!!!!

Biggest of thank you to the loveliest and insanely talented @frying-panties who created this beautiful birthday present. Their commissions are open and to die for! I cannot thank them enough!!!

From one clown to another, happiest of birthdays my love, I'm waiting thru the secret trap door and into the "no boys allowed--only Frankie" clubhouse in the basement for you.

~ CiCi 🤡 💖 🤡

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From @frannyzooey

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Biggest birthday hugs to my beloved Thirst 💜💜

Who would have ever guessed that The Mentalist fanfic featuring lactating kink would have brought us together but at this point I’ve learned to stop questioning the things that bring me joy. And you, sweetheart, are one of them. Whether we’re thirsting inside the dm’s throwing hot and spicy snippets and wips back and forth, or having in-depth discussions regarding Big Dick Morales and his pj pants, or our need to give mister bounty hunter man a sweet and sloppy bl*w j*b, I want you to know that I appreciate you and your goofy silly beautiful caring self so much. You’re always asking how I’m doing and whenever I see you on my dash my heart does a little happy dance. I’m glad we exist in the same slice of time and I’m so grateful you continue to give me the time of day.

I love you lots and lots and I hope your girls and hubby spoil you today and every day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE 🌼💞🧁💛

-luv, Cindy xo @keeper0fthestars

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From @jazzelsaur

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

TWP

From the first time that you bound into my DMs, enthusiastic and a bit embarrassed about how my Marcus Pike, Kinktober lactation fic affected you, I have been charmed. It was such a joy to talk to you about it and see how it had opened you up to something that was in a sense taboo.

I know you thought I would probably say no to writing about it, but I’m going to be honest, your work blew mine out of the water! You are amazingly talented and the first draft that you sent to me made a shiver run down my spine. It was just hitting on every single nerve ending in my body and made me bow down in awe.

I was very honored when you gave me credit for inspiring you and I have just been continuously amazed by the content that you have put out and the world’s you have built within our fandom.

It has been a privilege getting to know you and experience your presence in our little corner of Tumblr. I hope you have the happiest birthday and wish you fully formed sentences and all the words that you could ever wish to express the stories you want to tell.

Love, Keri @absurdthirst

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From @yespolkadotkitty

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Dearest Thirst

I hate you. I hate you and your stupid kind words you leave on my stupid fics that make my heart swell up and think that maybe the world is a slightly better place than I thought. And I hate that you’re kind to EVERYONE and it makes me look bad in comparison.

I especially hate that you wrote that dumb A/B/O Mando fic that made me feel dumb things and also now apparently I’m into A/B/O? Dumb. Dumb and Stupid.

I hate you. Brandy

make that

I hate you. Love, Brandy @brandyllyn

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Dear twp

A little birdy told me it was your birthday soon, soo...Happy Birthday!!! I'm so glad to have known you for even a portion of your last sun rotation. Your presence in this place is such a delight- you always have an encouraging (or horny 😏) word to share, and I will forever be grateful that you chose to bestow some of those words upon me ❤ I hope good things happen to you, including that you get to eat as much cake as you can stand on your bday (of the culinary OR smutty variety 🎂🍑😌)

Love, Rachael xoxo @thosewickedlovelies

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From @songsformonkeys

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Hello my dear! I hope that this year's birthday finds you with a tasty meal, an indulgent dessert, lots of rest, and all the thirsty fic you desire! You're such a light on this site, and in the world. Always so kind and friendly, and I can't help but smile every time I get a comment from you. Take care of yourself, and enjoy the coming year. Happy birthday!!!

From @f0rever15elf

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Dear TWP

Happy birthday!!! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate and admire your kindness, creativity, talent, and endlessly encouraging nature. I feel like I can wander into your DMs with anything, no matter how silly, sappy, angsty, or niche, and be met with a positive, cheerleading response. The way that you balance your fandom life with real/family life is so impressive to me and I feel privileged to get to be a little part of it. Sending you sweet wishes for the brand new year ahead of you! ❤️❤️❤️ - Mary

From @alwaysbethewest

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From @knittingqueen13

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

To TWP

who stands atop the Marcus Pike respect hill with me and who is one of the most talented and nicest souls I have had the pleasure of meeting, wishing you a wonderful birthday and year ahead! You deserve nothing less! Thank you for all you do for this fandom and for your friends!

From Ren @the-ginger-hedge-witch

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Darling TWP

I've never known a writer more prolific at being able to turn me onto kinks I thought I was FOR SURE not into. But I never stood a chance against your talent and the gifts you give through your writing. I can only hope you receive as much richness and happiness in life as your work gives to us as readers! Thank you for always being one of the most selflessly kind, filthy and wonderful souls I've had the pleasure of meeting! I hope you have the most amazing birthday and a year full of joy and good memories

From Rachel, @djarinsbeskar

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From @astroboots

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TWP

I could thank you for being a pillar of persistent support and sunshine in this community, but I’m sure others have already done that. I could tell you that without your encouragement and help there’s a lot of fics out there right now that wouldn’t exist, but I reckon you already know that. I could tell you that your writing is always a delight to read and you’ve inflicted upon us all things we didn’t even know we were into, but I definitely know you know that one (🤣).

So I’m gonna settle for this one: Thank you for giving a damn. Not just about content and fiction and posts, but all us idiots behind them. Thank you for taking the time to check on us when we’re low. Thank you for loitering with us on your phone when you’re pinned under a sleeping kidlet and can’t move. I hope you know we love you right back.

And oh yeah -

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!🥳🎂🎁🎊💖

From Medsie/Liesey/ @loversandantiheroes

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TWP

I haven’t had very long to get to know you but it’s already incredibly obvious just how kind and wonderful a person you are <3 So happy happy birthday dear!! I hope you find a little peace for yourself today and get to do something you really want to.

From Lissie xxx@littleferal ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

From @mourningbirds1

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A very happy birthday to twp

and many, many thanks for being an absolute delight and bright spot on my dash for the better part of the past year. You have impeccable taste, an eye for detail, and a level of writing that frankly astounds me; your narrative cohesion is flawless, and I have loved getting to see every piece you have shared with the rest of us.

Thank you for weekly Monday night Mando hours, for a considerate level of worldbuilding in an incredibly spot-on ABO Mandalorian story, for the poly-TF vibes that may or may not have had a hand in inspiring me to start writing for Ben Miller, and for the first, and hottest 🔥🔥🔥, Marcus Pike fic/series I ever read; to get to see things from HIS perspective is frankly more than I can handle.

Everything you write and share is done with an incredible level of care, and it’s easy to see the kind and genuine person behind the blog who interacts with everybody else already singing your praises. Thank you for being lovely, have the happiest of birthdays, and my apologies for having always been anonymous until now 😂

From @softanon

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Dearest TWP

Happy birthday!! Another trip around the sun — and one that I am so lucky to have witnessed, even from a fandom distance. I am constantly inspired by your kindness, with your joy, and how tirelessly you work to encourage us in the fandom — from Mando Monday to fic reblogs and everything else. I am lucky to be a recipient of your thoughts, thots, and warm heart📷 I hope you have a special day filled with reminder how loved you are!!

xo, Cris @highsviolets

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[scarletta-ruan]

Bleeding the same light [Dazai Osamu]

Writer: Scarletta Ruan

Genres: Fanfiction

Word counts: 1k4+ words

Pairing: Osamu Dazai x Fem!Reader

Warning: Pesstimistic think contain.

Notes: This is my second post in Tumblr so I have try a lot to make my post more perfect each day. English isn't my mother tounger so there would have some mistakes in grammars and vocabularies. During this time, I have to stay at home because of Indication from the Government for the Covid-19 pandemic from my country. And suddenly I found my old notes idea for Dazai birthday and I decided to finish it and “Bleeding the same light” appear.

Osamu Dazai hadn't thought that he would be cared for by you. This was weird, of course. He had lived a life sunk in blood, every blood of every kind of people used to stick in his hand. He never washed his hands after he finished his mission, it became normal in his daily life. Not until Oda told him to leave Port Mafia so he could live a normal day like this.

Dazai thought, sometimes he could die because he couldn't find his reasons for living. Everyone in the Armed Detective Agency didn't know what he was thinking in his mind right now; except you. He remembered most the first time you cared for him. He always tried to sneak out the Agency to wander somewhere, he loved to do it alone.

When he returned back, he got ready to be blamed by all of the people in here. When the door opened, he forced himself to smile in front of them. This is a normal Dazai they knew, a clown covering himself up with a happy face mask when he had to face people. But behind the door was you, you suddenly held his hand and said.

“Oh my, I am relieved when I see you still alive.”

You didn't blame him because he went somewhere else and left all his reports and missions for you.

“Why are you not scolding me?” He asked simply. This made you surprised when he asked you something like that.

“Why do I have to scold you?” You asked him again and tilted your head.

“Nothing, thanks for helping me finish the report.”

“You're welcome.”

You said gently. Your smile made him feel different when he had to face other people, suddenly the emotions you brought him were better than everyone else just like… you understood him clearly like he did. While he let his mind flow, you said.

“Oh, I almost forgot. Kunikida-san told me to tell you to stay at the office this weekend.”

“Would you mind telling Kunikida-kun that I don’t want to, please?”

“O-Okay, I will.”

Dazai could answer your question absolutely because he knew this weekend was also his birthday, for many years ago he didn’t celebrate his birthday with someone else. He seemed to have forgotten his date of birth, in Port Mafia no one remembered the day he was born. He was a monster, he didn’t deserve to be given birth and earned lots of tragedy in this life. He was an abnormal person, everyone else never cared for his actions and activities.

He would enjoy this birthday party alone, in a Lupin bar where all of the memories reminded him about that day would be nice and better for him than joining in his birthday party with the other members. After enjoying his favorite Whisky in the glass, he managed to get to the top of the Agency building, he found that staying alone is more enjoyable than with the others.

The weather was beautiful tonight and also the moonlight was bright enough for him to view every scene of this city - Yokohama. He couldn’t feel the beauty in human life, his life sank in the blood of lots of different kinds of people. Guilty and innocent people who hadn’t met or messed with him before, at that time he liked a dog working blindly for the Port Mafia. But your voice suddenly resounded made him surprised.

“You are also here too?”

He started turning around to find you, he couldn’t see where you were. He thought he was dreamlike because you were the only one that cared for his disappearance. This kind of careness made him love how you pay attention to a no longer human like him.

“Over there, lift your head up and you will see me.”

Dazai lifted his head up like what you wanted, he finally saw you were sitting on the roof of the building over his head. You were kicking into the air and humming your favorite song, you smiled again when you went eyes to eyes with him and said.

“I’m very surprised that you come here. I didn't think that I could meet you here, it’s so coincident.”

Your [colors] hair dazzling in the moonlight made you become his savior to save his tragic life. You still smiled but there was sadness in your eyes, Dazai could see what you were thinking in your mind clearly. You tucked your hair into your ear and said.

“Wanna go hear and sit with me? I feel a little bit lonely when I am here.”

He nodded his head and climbed up to sit next to you. You also moved aside and let him have enough space to sit next to you. Both of you didn’t say anything else, you guys just silently staring at the starry sky in front of your eyes. Suddenly you praised,

“So beautiful.”

“Hm?”

“The starry sky.”

“Um,”

“I think we have the same characteristics.”

Your confession made him widen his eyes to look at you, your side view was different when he saw your profile view. Your eyes were sad, the smile on your face just like someone forced you to smile like this.

“I found that I just like you.”

“Why?”

“Because… in front of many people I am not me. I always force myself to smile, it becomes a weapon for me to kill two birds with one stone.”

You lifted your head up, your eyes shimmering when it reflected the night sky. Dazai could feel like you covered everythings in the sky deep into your eyes. He felt weird when he first heard you saying that, the words didn't belong to you now were saying by yourself. His hand reached your hand, it was cold; Dazai thought. Even colder than he thought, how long had you been here, he couldn’t find out.

“Time always passes by and doesn’t wait for anyone.”

“But time has stopped.”

His voice resounded next to your ears, you turned your face to him and titled your head. You couldn't understand why he said that, his brown chocolate orbs reflected the colors of your own eyes. His eyes were deep and contained mysteries when you looked in. You may fall in love with those eyes, you shared the same kind of eyes with him so you could understand that. Dazai was still smirking, that made you curious and asked.

“How do you know the time has stopped?”

“Well, when I am here with you the time suddenly stops.”

Dazai said, you still couldn't understand what he was saying. You sighed and looked at the sky again and said.

“I guess you are right.”

You guys silently sat next to each other and enjoyed the beautiful light of the moon. You smiled at him and said,

“Hey, do you want some drinks?” you asked. After thinking for a little more, you continued. “Oh, for some reason I can make some simple drinks like tea or coffee. Would you like some coffee or tea?”

“Thanks, may I have a coffee?”

“Sure, I will do it for you.”