#I know Wendy had more of an impact of Dipper’s story

[zootopiathingz]

I’ll forever be sad we never got to see Mabel and Wendy say a personal goodbye

[codylabs]

My Top 10 Ships

I’m not a very romantic sort of guy, I’m not real forgiving to departures from canon, I get easily annoyed at inconsistencies, and I don’t watch much television and movies, so in order for me to ship something, it has to be a GOOD ship. I default toward rejecting ships, so to impress ME, it must be built on logic, and evidence, it’s gotta be something I can suspend my disbelief far enough to accept. And it’s gotta have story behind it, something deep, some hefty emotional weight; if it doesn’t tickle this man’s cold reptilian heart with strong beats and excellent writing, it goes straight to the trash. I absoLUTELY will not stand for any of these weird little cute, pretty, pandering, trashy crack ships that everybody seems to be clumsily throwing characters into. Most ships are trash ships. They are not good ships.

You think your ship is good? You like your ship?

You ship it?

No you don’t.

Get out of here.

You will listen to me. I will tell you. Look at me. I’m the Captain now.

Here are the 10 good ships.

10. The Rocinante, The Expanse

A resoundingly excellent ship. Unlike most ships you see out there, this thing was actually designed with realistic space combat in mind. It’s got 6 computer-controlled gatling turrets covering every angle, it accelerates in whatever direction it’s pointing, its bridge is right in the center to put as much armor as possible between enemies and crew, overall a much better-designed vehicle than most everything you see about.

That being said, I didn’t have much connection to this ship. Its crew weren’t really interesting, the aesthetic was kinda bleak, and I basically stopped watching after the phazon showed up. And the Rocinante itself has pretty poor redundancy. Enemy bullets can literally just pass through it (as is realistic for a ship this size) so how about multiple main engines huh? Absolutely tragic oversight. And its interior looks too much like an Apple product. How are you supposed to work on it? Where are the wires and pipes??? The handholds?????

9. Ares IV M.A.V., The Martian

Almost more of a symbol than a ship. A symbol of freedom, of escape. A beautiful symbol. This is what Mark Watney spends the whole movie trying to reach, with an entire world backing him up, and an entire world trying to stop him. It’s the goal of the movie, and it just looks so beautiful when he finally reaches it and sees it sitting there in the middle of the desert, ass down, nose up; a tall, proud symbol. This ship has a special significance for me because the author of the original book really did his research on the scientific requirements and details of a Mars Ascent Vehicle, and it was actually inspired by the E.R.V. in another book, ‘A Case For Mars’, which I read when I was younger. “Makes its own methane-oxygen fuel on-site by using nuclear power to break down CO2 in the atmosphere and combining it with stored hydrogen, don’t you know.” I say as I adjust my spectacles and puff my pipe.

The M.A.V. in the movie does have a few issues, such as hallway and rooms running straight up through where the fuel tanks ought to be (instead of a lift/ladder on the exterior) and a rugged, industrial aesthetic that looks too heavy and cumbersome for a ship of its type. (And you’re seriously telling me he couldn’t have used the capsule’s RCS to literally bypass the movie’s entire climax? WHY NOT? The book never mentioned him having to drain the monopropellant!!!) But I’ll let that slide. Great movie.

8. Biggest Boy, The Greatship

(I don’t know the ship name so I had to make up a name. You know what, I think it’s actually just called the Greatship.)

So it’s a starship the size of Jupiter, empty, unmanned, perfectly mysterious, that comes gliding into the galaxy a couple million years into humanity’s future. Where did it come from? Who made it and how? Good questions. It’s powered by matter-antimatter annihilation reactions from within planet-sized internal tanks, and its engines use hydrogen and fusion exhaust as reaction mass, and its hull is made of hyperfiber, a super-strong fictional material with a 4-dimensional lattice structure, able to weather impacts by spreading them out over various dimensions where the impact occurred in a different place.

I hope that after the first few entries, you didn’t get the impression that I am somehow against futuristic, far-out, impossible technologies. Quite the opposite! I love me some hyperdrive and anti-gravity and A.I. and stuff. However! Ships must be well-designed for the technology available, and must take no creative liberties except those explicitly allowed by the difference in the setting. The laws of physics don’t disappear when the magic crystals come out, the magic crystals are merely a different tool to combat them. Engineering will always exist, should start with the tools and work outward, form follows function. Star Wars ships, for instance, are trash because they don’t mount their repulsorlift arrays consistently, they’re not aerodynamic, and their engines aren’t aligned around their center of masses.

So I like the Great Ship. Although the story is pretty far-fetched, and a lot of crazy, out-there scifi events transpire deep in the ship’s depths, the book always strictly kept its own rules in mind, and never broke those rules, no matter how outlandishly crazy things got. Thanks for comprehending something so incomprehensible, Robert Reed. You inspired me miles in my own work.

7. The Ghost, The Sea Wolf

The story may be fiction, but the Ghost was as real as ghosts can be.

Jack London did his research. No, not research, he LIVED this. The Ghost is a seal-hunting schooner much like one that he served aboard during his rollercoaster of a life, and he captured every detail of its operation, of its requirements, of its mechanics, and of the incredible toll it took on the people that lived such a life. The boat is made to feel as oppressive and claustrophobic as a prison, as if it were an extension of the monster that commanded it, directly in contrast to the expansive beauty of the sea around them. My goodness, what a beautiful book. What a moving, interesting, challenging book, with such a story! This book is one of the climaxes of fiction, and one of the inspirations for Shifting Sands, if I remember correctly. I would recommend this book to anybody. Beautiful.

6. Ferbnessa, Phineas and Ferb

Okay, so I hope we can all agree that Vanessa is nothing but bad news. But that being said, Ferb knows exactly the relationship he wants, and by golly, he goes for it. Most male characters would stutter or get nervous or lose confidence around their crush, especially if that crush is about a hundred miles out of their league or if they already had another boyfriend, but Ferb? No. Not my man Ferb. He’s slighly too much of a legend to fall for such childish pitfalls. He doesn’t posture, he doesn’t creep or flirt or try to sabotage the other men in her life, he doesn’t even speak a word, he just maintains his blank expression, cranks his own already-inhuman levels of confidence and competence up through the roof to borderline olympian levels, and continues being himself. These rare moments of Ferbly passion are some of the few open windows we get into the grandiose machinations of his mysterious mind, and he uses it to bring out the best in Vanessa as well. And in the future episode, set years down the line, wouldn’t you know it, they’re a pair.

All joking aside though, this whole ship is basically comedy. It’s a super small part of the show, it’s only in like 5 episodes, it’s a running gag, it’s hilarious. It’s great. And it fits right into the tone and the feel of the show, because P&F’s entire world really is a comedy about going for it and living your dreams. So this is just the best thing ever. It’s been about a decade since then, and I still burst out laughing at how much of a pristine picture of ideal masculinity Ferb is. Become like Ferb, boys, and you will become men.

Legendary.

Eat your heart out, Dipper.

3. Shunk, Voltron

(I don’t know the ship name so I had to make up a name)

Huge props to the voltron team for making a female alien character (even a romantic interest) with NO BOOBS. Do you have ANY idea how sick and tired I am of artists throwing a big ol’ pair of balonkadongs onto lobsters and snakes when almost everything in the real world besides folks and cows have either 0 or 8+ of them? Everything’s gotta be traditionally sexy and recognizably-feminine and GREAT now you just canonized all the porn! Disgusteg

but now look at Shay. She’s a rock person. She’s got silicon-based biology, she probably weighs 500 lbs and bleeds sand. She’s got enormous hands and weird knees and no nose and lumps everywhere, AND YET STILL the show plays all the tropes 100% straight with her being a fair young maiden and a sweet princess. And it works because Hunk is just this great guy who’s exactly as sweet and caring, and he’s not the most attractive of the Paladins either, so he probably lives his life looking past appearances. He doesn’t care that she’s an alien rock, he cares about her as a person, and she obviously worships him right back. Even though Shay is shown in season 1 and then never again until season 7, Hunk still avoids alternative romantic entanglements, citing ‘a rock I know’, and it just adds to his persona as this infinitely loyal teddy bear. I tip my hat to this, the single ship I know that’s 0% sexy and 100% wholesome.

And Hunk is the best Paladin. He’s just the greatest. I revere him. I salute him as he walks past. This man among men. Look at this guy. I don’t even care about any of the other ships in Voltron (I mean, the Castle of Lions is okay, but it’s outriggers are kinda spindly) but Hunk and Shay deserve each other.

4. Wendip, Gravity Falls

So Dipper’s 12/13, and Wendy’s 15. That’s a pretty giant age difference. Maybe you fans have fooled yourselves into thinking it’s not, but it is. She knows it. He knows it. His sister knows it. Your mom knows it. So halfway through the show, when he finally got around to confessing his feelings to her, she told him no. Sure they’re still friends, sure they like each other, and sure they have a lot of chemistry and they still have a movie night every Friday, but at the end of the day, he’s a smelly little midget who has to go back to California at the end of the Summer, and she’s a older girl with approximately zero romantic feelings for him. So the notion that it could work out is pretty obvious to everyone, and especially to him, pretty much hopeless. And he really did handle it all pretty poorly and immaturely too, he objectified her and stalked her and simped up a storm and sabotaged her boyfriend, so perhaps he deserved what he got. Perhaps it’s better this way.

And yet.

And yet Wendy never really got a happy ending in the show. And Dipper never got a conclusive romance either. So after everything, it’s easy to think about it how he thinks about it, by wondering how things could have been, if everything were just so slightly different, if she’d said yes or if they united again. She wishes she could be younger, he wishes he could be older. She’s more dominant, he’s more recessive. She has a lot of serious issues in her life, and could really seriously use a driven, heroic, intelligent friend to help her out, give her purpose, and steer her right. And Lord knows he could use somebody with street smarts and actual muscles to have his back now and again. They complement each other perfectly. They make up for each others’ weaknesses. They’re everything they ever wanted from another, and if you do the math, their children would be actual literal supersoldiers.

Or at least that’s the way a lot of people see it. There’s been immeasurable mountains of fanfiction and fanart from people who are just so sad that in a show full of happy endings and dreams coming true and old regrets being resolved and children growing up, that one ending would never be happy, one dream would never come to pass, one regret would stick with you forever, one child would never grow up. Maybe if you extrapolate out the story they’d end up together? Or maybe they’d find other, better partners? Maybe romance isn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things, and this is the best ending there could have been? Perhaps, perhaps not. But in any case, there’s a lot of very rich storytelling potential for the untold journey before them, and for the paths that could have been.

Stop drawing fetish art of Wendy, you insufferable heathen actual donkeys.

3. Kataang, Avatar: The Last Airbender

Now HERE’S a serious relationship. Not just a romantic ship, (though it is that,) not just some cutesy, funny thing or some ship-war fodder, (though it is cute and funny and did spawn a ship-war,) not just a matter of certainty and destiny, (though it is certain and was destined,) this is a real, TANGIBLE relationship, that these characters built together over a solid year of on-screen adventuring and fighting. They’ve helped each other through trauma, they’ve been there for each other in their darkest moments, they learned martial-arts together, they’ve fought back-to back against grown men, they’ve worked front-to-front sawing through steel girders, they’ve saved each other’s lives, he once ACTUALLY DIED and she brought him BACK. They end up respecting each other, and valuing each other in the intimate way that only true friends do.

And they’re shown working through all their imperfections and mistakes too. Aang sometimes oversteps boundaries and says stupid stuff because he’s a kid, and Katara sometimes scolds him and controls him because she’s motherly and orderly, they get jealous of each other, but none of those things drive them apart, and they deal with them, and they conquer them, and they keep a very legitimate and multi-faceted friendship going, and that’s the key to it all. The fact that this friendship becomes romance is just proof that it was a friendship of quality.

I think people tend to overlook or forget this ship because the last few episodes of the show found them in a pretty dark place, needing to deal with matters of life and death and justice in very different ways, and unlike all their other issues, we don’t really get to see them reconciling these differences before the story ends, which kind of leaves a sour taste between them. And Katara goes on a couple missions with Zuko around the same time, so now half of all people want Zutara, when in actuality, Zutara is a trash ship, which is a true science fact.

2. Serenity, Firefly

Only reason this ship isn’t #1 is because it isn’t constructed using a proper aerospace philosophy; it’s made of bulky machinery and steel beams and chunky plates, it looks more like an ocean vessel from the inside, and is WAY too big for its 6-12 person crew and light cargo capacity. Plus it doesn’t have any room for fuel and its got no wheels on its landing legs and no downward-facing windows and its reactor is just too dang SMOL and its engines are attached too flimsily. This all wouldn’t be too much of an issue if they were going for a far-future aesthetic, but if you’re trying to do something grounded and semi-contemporary, you need to lose some weight girl, I’m sorry.

But by gosh does it make up for it in heart. The entire inside of this ship was mapped out and made on set, with so many homely little decorations and touches to make every room feel like the person who inhabits it, sterile professional blue for the doc’s medbay, warm happy red for Kaylee’s engine room, all-serious-business-but-also-plastic-dinos for Wash’s cockpit... It hit me hard when this baby it crashed in the movie, and it felt almost real when River pretended to mind-meld with it. This ship has more soul in one buffer panel than most shows have in the entire cast, enough to make it seem like its own character, even in a show crowded with charming characters. I love this ship intimately, even if I would have built it differently.

1. Colonial Vessel 46.18′\, Gravity Falls

(I don’t know the ship name so I had to make up a name)

You didn’t think I’d leave out this one, did you? After all the fanfiction I’ve written? This is basically my ship at this point. Anyway, enough about me; the vessel beneath Crash Site Omega really is the quintessential alien ship; its perfectly cliche flying-saucer design taps into all the audience’s pre-existing fanciful notions and imaginings and disbelief-suspension, meanwhile its presentation isn’t cliche or fanciful in the slightest. 

There’s not much to say about it from a technical standpoint, besides personal musings: it would need anti-gravity to stay airborne without thrusters, it would need a FTL drive to cross the distances it did, its drones would need to be made of some kind of semi-liquid to move like they do... But these sort of out-of-the-box, never-before-seen, world-expanding brain-knocks are exactly what makes this ship special. It’s an alien ship, built with technology unknown to people, forged from materials that people don’t possess, and inhabited by beings we will never meet. For all we know, this ship could be perfectly sound from an engineering standpoint, and no engineer in the audience could claim to prove it otherwise, because unlike something like the T.A.R.D.I.S., they never try and fail to explain it away with science buzzwords or canonize its details or show off some fancy glowy reactor. This ancient husk is left as a yawning pit in reason, and that’s beautiful.

Moreover, this ship is an amazingly powerful narrative tool, and a mind-blowing surprise to drop in as a setpiece during the show’s final episodes. This ship embodies everything that made the show’s mysteries special: the evidence presented so early and so consistently, the creativity in creature design, action, and worldbuilding, the yawning depths of unknowable lore, and most of all the burning, unquenched desire to know more... The imprint this ship made in the cliffs over the town has been hanging over the characters’ heads the entire series, and its hull was below their feet from day one, so when they finally revealed it, and explored it, it felt invigorating. Rewarding. This ship, and the glorious feelings and thoughts it represents, have inspired to no end, and haven’t ended yet.

Honorable mentions:

Westley and Buttercup, The Princess Bride

Ooooh man I tell you what, it was really hard trimming this down to 10 for the list, and this one just barely didn’t make the cut, and that mainly because I have a sweet spot for animation and for warrior women, and this sweetness ain’t animated, and this damsel is as distressed as they get. And they don’t have a whole lot of chemistry? I don’t know how to measure that, but I feel like there was a lot of friendship stated that was never shown? Is it sacrilege to say that about True Love? I guess I’ve never exactly had True Love, so what do I know?

The entire plot centers around his devotion to her, and her love for him, and the lengths they go to for one another. He studies fencing and wrestling and wits and tactics for years on a pirate ship as he tried to return to her, and she refused the advances and the offers of an actual prince for as long as she could, even though she thought him dead, and was ready to kill herself when she knew him to be alive and not to be hers. And just such excellent action and characters and humor and story in the entire book surrounding it. Possibly an even better movie, somehow. Happy happy happy happy. They don’t make movies like this no more, why is that? Sad.

Endurance, Interstellar

Actually a pretty realistic design, all considering. They nailed the aesthetic, and the cinematography, and the feel.

It does lose points though, firstly because the shuttlecraft require a booster stage to make it into orbit when leaving Earth, but for the rest of the movie, whenever they’re landing on planets with similar gravity and atmosphere, they can just fly away like it’s no big deal, which is a big inconsistency, both with real life, and more importantly with itself. And how did an under-equipped and struggling space program put this thing in orbit in the first place, anyway? And why don’t their ships land on their asses like proper rockets? And why not tell the crew members the full plan before leaving? See, it’s little things like that, little inconsistencies made for the sake of fitting with story beats and simplifying it for the audience’s sake, that sours this ship for me. I don’t mind creative liberties, but actual plot holes? This thing has a few plot holes, and plot holes are absolutely yucky. So although most of this ship is very yummy, the yucky parts make it all yucky.

Yucky.

Plus its heavy cargo shuttles are about the least-aerodynamic things imaginable, and that’s also yucky, and there’s porcelain tiles in the stasis bay, like what?

Couldashouldawoulda been yummy.

The Hermes, The Martian

This ship. This friggin’ ship.

A beautiful ship. A well-conceived ship. A mathematically sound and engineered ship. It had so many many good ideas behind it. So much math went into calculating its thrust and orbital dynamics for this movie, so much work went into making it fit a contemporary space aesthetic, the panels, the heat sinks, the tanks, so much PRESENTATION I could KISS IT HMWA, but taken as a whole, engineering-wise, the whole ship falls flat on its face, because it just doesn’t fit together. It doesn’t make sense. Look at all those countless modules along its length. What do they do? They don’t do anything! It’s a quarter mile long, and it’s built for only 6 people? It’s meant to carry a lander? Where does the lander dock? Why are the useful airlocks so far off the center of gravity? Why does it have a cockpit? Why is the forward airlock so looooong? Why is the entire ship so loooooong? Why is the ring spinning so slowly? It’s not hard math to figure out how fast it needs to spin! You’re telling me you did ORBITAL DYNAMICS but not the SINGLE physics 101 equation needed to figure out how fast the ring needs to spin??

Btw, let’s talk about that rotating section in the middle! Think about the rotating section! That rotating section means that the front and the back of the ship aren’t actually connected! There’s just a pair of ring-shaped slip-slidey bearings bridging the ship’s middle, slip-slidey bearings that electricity, computer signals, and water and air pipes can’t cross. Why did they design it that way?? In the book the entire ship spun, which makes so much more sense! Why does it have solar panels when it has a reactor canonically capable of 40 times their output? Why are the fuel tanks so small? Why is it always facing prograde even when canonically burning retrograde? Why? WHY? BLRRRRGGGGGRGGGRGGG

In Conclusion, Ships Are Neat

[kingofthewilderwest]

Do you think Mabel gets too much hate? I noticed when a female character acts selfish she gets hated on but when a male character does the same it’s praised

We’re free to love or hate any character with or without reason. That said, I feel sad seeing Mabel hate and agree Mabel receives too much hate. I feel like the rhetoric claiming she’s unforgivably selfish is skewed. I think people have decent criticisms regarding Mabel’s character and how she’s presented. However, I don’t think they sufficiently describe the full picture.

Anecdotally, I don’t think this is a case of sweeping sexism because Ford also receives more criticism than I think warranted. My perspective on how much hate each character proportionately receives could be incomplete, though.

But anyway. Let’s talk Mabel.

First though: please don’t try to debate this with me. If you don’t like my opinion, no worries. That’s chill. I’m just not interested in using my recreation time debating this. Thanks! :) However, if you want further clarifications, analyses, case studies, etc. I’m happy to talk more, because this is NOWHERE close to exhausting my thoughts on this topic.

Mabel’s Selfishness: The General Critique

I think everyday anti-Mabel criticism tends to use points like:

When other characters act selfishly, they’re called out and the narrative punishes them. But when Mabel wants something, she gets it, and it’s a reward (The Deep End, The Time Traveler’s Pig, Escape from Reality).

Mabel never learns how to give up something important and deal with that loss. Even when she lets something go, it’s not something that would have been good in her life. For instance, her failed puppet performance is “dodging a bullet” rather than losing something meaningful, since Gabe’s just a puppet kisser. In the end, she doesn’t have to live with sacrifice (Boyz Crazy, Sock Opera).

Mabel even selfishly causes the apocalypse by giving Bill the rift. She’s never held responsible for that (Dipper and Mabel vs the Future).

The narrative reinforces that Mabel is a good person even when she’s not (The Last Mabelcorn).

People particularly look at Mabel in S2 over S1; many claim that’s when her character began to feel selfish and insufferable. 

This isn’t everything, but I have tried to characterize the rhetoric fairly based upon what I’ve seen.

I find these discussion points understandable. Mabel can be self-focused and sometimes ignores others’ feelings. Alex Hirsch admitted in DVD commentaries that he focused on Dipper learning lessons because he put himself in Dipper’s shoes. And some of Alex’s writing intentions could’ve been clearer, like instances where the twins resolve conflicting desires. We could talk about how the show could be improved or the character is legitimately not-selfless.

At the same time, I think how fandom uses these talking points isn’t 100% fair to Mabel’s character or the show’s full narrative. 

I want to point out that Mabel hate for her selfishness covers two fronts: one claim that Mabel is selfish, and another claim that the surrounding plot doesn’t handle her selfishness satisfactorily. I think there’s fair constructive criticism when it comes to narrative framing (even if I disagree), but I don’t think the same dialogue is good rationale against Mabel’s personality. At times I see the two concepts conflated. The narrative may annoy you if you think selfishness isn’t addressed in plot, and contribute to you disliking the character, but claiming “Mabel is selfish” because of that is flawed logic. 

In this analysis, I’ll cover both fronts. I’ll tackle the four points I mentioned above and explain why I find them too harsh. I’m not going to cover all my thoughts (yes, my original draft was longer!!), but I will argue:

Mabel reverses her selfishness - and that’s the big choice sealing the climax of multiple episodes. She doesn’t get off “consequence free” either (Boyz Crazy, Sock Opera)

Mabel sacrifices for others. The narrative does show that Dipper and Mabel meet in the middle, not that Dipper feels guilty enough to ameliorate his sister’s wishes (Sock Opera, Escape from Reality)

Mabel giving the rift to “Blendin” mirrors Dipper offering a puppet to Bill. Both twins are emotionally compromised and believe they’re making a harmless deal with an inconsequential item. Neither would’ve made these choices in calmer circumstances. Sock Opera doesn’t have Dipper deal with his culpability; relax up on Mabel (Sock Opera, Dipper and Mabel vs the Future)

Mabel’s selfishness is addressed, handled, and resolved. The moral of The Last Mabelcorn isn’t defending Mabel’s goodness; it’s Mabel embracing imperfection. Mabel learns she’s a bad person and changes her perspective of herself multiple times in canon (The Last Mabelcorn, Lost Legends)

I could also have talked about how selfishness isn’t required to be resolved in her character arc, all the times Mabel does nice things for others, how she doesn’t always obnoxiously hog the spotlight, and other things, but I want to cap the length of this essay.

So let’s begin.

Can Mabel learn from selfishness if she’s consequence-free and never handles meaningful loss?

Anti-Mabel Argument: Circumstances don’t adversely affect Mabel. This means she never has to sacrifice for her brother like Dipper does for her. For instance, in Sock Opera, Mabel sees that Gabe is a weirdo over-obsessed with puppets. Her failed puppet performance was “dodging a bullet” rather than losing something meaningful, so she doesn’t learn true self-sacrificial love. Mabel never learns how to give something important up and deal without it. So, she never changes.

Boyz Crazy not only is an episode where the climax is Mabel learning to act against her selfish desires, but it’s got an explicit apology in dialogue. “I’m sorry I went bonkers,” she tells Candy and Grenda. “A catchy song made me realize that you were right. Can you ever forgive me?”

While Mabel has to learn this lesson again in later episodes, it’s to note: most GF characters are fairly static, and Dipper also has to learn multiple times not to hit on Wendy. Character progress doesn’t happen all at once. And in the next episode I’ll talk about, not only does Mabel confront her selfishness, but it’s the last time she lets her boy chasing impact Dipper. It ends after this.

I’m talking Sock Opera.

Mabel’s sacrifice in Sock Opera is big. She doesn’t get off “consequence free.” She decides to sabotage her performance before knowing Gabe’s a weirdo. Mabel is fully willing to lose her most viable romance option… for Dipper. She realizes her brother would be willing to give something up for her, and she’s going to reciprocate by giving up something big for him. 

Mabel might’ve dodged the bullet of dating Gabe, but she still gives up something big and will feel it. Sure, she makes the puppet show to impress Gabe. But she’s also entertaining a full audience. She can feel the people booing her, see them storming out and leaving. Mabel is someone who wants everyone happy, so much that seeing everyone happy except Robbie puts her in Crisis Mode. I don’t know about you, but just because I saw some guy kissing puppets, I wouldn’t think, “Yay! I had a happy outcome to this play ordeal!”

Mabel VERY much says, in the dialogue, that her brother would give up something big for her. And that’s what her Big Choice comes down to. Every episode climax in Gravity Falls comes down to The Big Choice. Here, Mabel’s Big Choice… is to sacrificially watch her hard work burst into literal flames.

Mabel apologizes to her brother, “I’m sorry, Dipper. I spent all week obsessing over a dumb guy. But the dumb guy I should have cared about was you.”

In following episodes, Mabel does put Dipper in mind. She gets momentarily distracted by crushes in The Love God, but that’s in a quest to solve her own mistake - a mistake that came from trying to make everyone, from Robbie to Thompson to Dipper, happy. She wants to include Dipper, from the Ducktective finale to her birthday party planning mission. And if you’re focusing on how she teases Dipper, why aren’t you also targeting Stan, who makes the same action without change?

Mabel Hate rhetoric focuses on how Bill was “right” in Sock Opera and she still acts selfishly in the same patterns after that episode. But, the climax is Mabel resisting Bill and demonstrating self-sacrifice, and that arguably does influence her character afterwards. It’s one step in an incomplete process. She might not be ready to handle Dipper separating off with Ford, but that’s because her arc still isn’t completed.

We do see Mabel dealing with meaningful loss like the collapse of her puppet show. She does show sacrificial love for her brother. And, as I’ll talk about more, she continues to grapple with and grow in selflessness through later decisions like Escape Through Reality.

Does Mabel ever realize she’s a bad person?

Anti-Mabel Argument: Narrative reinforces Mabel is a good person even when she’s not. Alex Hirsch wrote with rose-tinted bias because Mabel represents Alex’s twin sister. The Last Mabelcorn showcases that. Instead of Mabel learning she’s a bad person who can’t receive a unicorn’s blessing… the unicorn’s criticisms against Mabel get nullified – the creature’s lying about Mabel’s impure heart. Mabel got affirmed for who she was rather than dealing with her imperfection.

First off: if you haven’t watched the DVD commentary for The Last Mabelcorn, you should. It’s a wild story how this episode got made. Alex Hirsch trashed the script of an entire episode 48 hours before it was due. He crunched to write a new episode - by himself - from scratch. So yeah. A few lines of final dialogue could’ve been tweaked to improve the message, but the fact he wrote as successful an episode as he did in that short of time is incredible. And the message of The Last Mabelcorn is there:

Mabel learns she’s an *IMPERFECT* person. She embraces being imperfect instead of groveling for impossible perfection and meaningless approval.

Maybe that’s not the “Mabel learns selflessness!” episode you wanted, but this is a fascinating lesson, and one I don’t see touted tons in media. I love it.

Mabel spends the episode attempting to be pure of heart through kind deeds. Wendy tells Mabel they should solve their problem the dirty way. Mabel keeps refusing until the unicorns anger her. This is the moment of triumph: she punches a unicorn. Mabel forsakes the route of “pure” good deeds to do what she first considered dirty. That’s the hero moment, dudes! 

Mabel says the unicorns are “worse” than her, not that she’s good and they’re bad. Mabel comes out of the adventure declaring, “Today I learned morality is relative.” That’s because the episode’s climactic Big Choice isn’t about Mabel accepting she’s a “pure” person; it’s about Mabel accepting she can make “impure” choices.

Ford is the person at the end who tries to tell Mabel she’s good. But Mabel contradicts what he says with that “morality is relative” quote. What she takes away is that she’s imperfect, she can make non-sparkly-decisions, and that’s okay. She’s become more aware of herself and her flaws, but also accepts she can make choices others might shake their heads at. 

So. Ford and Wendy might’ve called Mabel “a good person” in key parts of the episode, which is why I say Alex (not in a time crunch) could’ve considered tweaking lines to make the point clearer. But I don’t think the episode depicts Mabel as a selfish jerk who never learns her flaws.

And frankly? If I had to choose between a standard “you’re not perfect” episode and this? I’d MUCH rather have this, where characters learn lessons, but we also get the show’s humorous, slightly subversive, slightly truthful “anti-morality.” That’s a Gravity Falls thing, after all. (For other anti-morality examples: Stan saying Summerween is about celebrating “pure evil,” Mabel deciding it’s good to lie so Stan doesn’t get arrested, Mabel deciding being an asshole to employees is productive, etc.)

So yes, Mabel realizes she’s a bad person, even if it’s not in the way you expected. And that’s still not the end of her character arc. 

Does Mabel ever sacrifice for others Dipper?

Argument: Mabel only agrees to leave her bubble after Dipper promises to drop Ford’s apprenticeship. This apprenticeship would have been huge for Dipper. But all Mabel “sacrifices” is leaving a fake world she’s hiding in, goofing around instead of helping people in literal Armageddon. 

Much of Mabel and Dipper’s relationship is about how they’re opposites. We repeatedly see the best place for both of them is the middle. Alex Hirsch talks about this tons. Whether it’s perfectly implemented is a debate for another day. I do think these concepts can be seen even in episodes like Escape From Reality where there’s been criticism of narrative execution.

I’ve seen people say Mabel “gets her way” because Dipper turns down Ford’s apprenticeship when he sees it makes her sad. Hirsch has said in commentaries Dipper was making a mistake wanting the apprenticeship. Mabel wants to avoid growing up while Dipper wants to grow up too fast.

We don’t have to take Hirsch’s word-of-god for it: the story does show that Dipper was erring with the apprenticeship. Ford intends well, but his bias against siblinghood means he’s polluting Dipper’s values. He suggests that Dipper staying with Mabel is “suffocating.” He suggests that Dipper is “greater” and should be doing something with it. “Dipper, can you honestly tell me you never felt like you were meant for something more?” And later: “Listen to me, Dipper: this town is a magnet for things that are special. And that includes you and me. It brought both of us here for a purpose! Stay here with me, Dipper. Become my apprentice. Don’t let anyone hold you [back].”

When Mabel and Dipper make resolutions in Mabel Land, Dipper says he’ll drop the apprenticeship. This emotionally touches Mabel. But being emotionally touched doesn’t mean that’s WHY she makes amends with her brother. Instead, Mabel reassures him that he can take the apprenticeship if he wants. She leaves the choice up to him and is willing to let him live in another state during their teen years. She finds his needs and desires important.

And honestly? It’s Dipper himself who realizes the apprenticeship is bogus; it’s not because Mabel is forcing her brother to change. “Mabel, I thought you were living a fantasy, but look at me! I actually thought I was gonna stay here and be Ford’s apprentice. Spend my entire teens cooped up in a basement with a lab coat? How ridiculous is that?” He sheds the idea because he realizes it’s a bad one, not because he’s ameliorating someone too selfish to accept her brother leaving her.

It’s also to note Mabel Land tempts everyone. Calling only Mabel selfish when everyone else gets pulled in… seems incorrect. Bill considers it a diabolical, inescapable prison. People like Soos, Wendy, and Dipper who know it’s a prison get drawn to Mabel Land’s temptations. Heck, Dipper gets tempted with an old vice. He might have grown more mature, but that doesn’t mean he can’t trip occasionally (we can apply the same understanding to Mabel and “selfishness,” by the way - someone can both grow and keep tripping). Mabel, meanwhile, wants to use the bubble to help and comfort her visiting friends (which is, for the record, not selfish) and thinks reality should be avoided because both her and Dipper’s lives have been adversely affected. Dipper’s pain is important, too. Mabel has been in this prison longer than Soos, Wendy, and Dipper, and the prison was designed for her - ergo she’s going to be more manipulated by it. Lots of her actions are avoidance tactics because she’s scared of growing up, yes. The court trial is a lot, yes. But we should bear in mind that this is a child scared of growing up and feeling the burn of conflict with her brother. Emotional and psychological context is important. We all get vulnerable. Do our lowest lows define our entire personality?

When Dipper and Mabel make their compromise, both reject temptations. Dipper rejects a bad apprenticeship; Mabel rejects a bad reality. They offer each other solutions where they don’t get what they originally want. They meet in the middle, and this is the best way for both to move forward in the aging process. They’re both satisfied and confident with their choice. It’s not Dipper giving up everything for Mabel, ameliorating her because she’s sad. It’s about the twins learning they can make it through life together, through thick and thin.

Potentially muddled thematic framing does not erase the resolution the twins make. It does not erase that Mabel’s depicted as someone willing to give up major things for her brother.

Okay. But that rift thing. How can you excuse the APOCALYPSE??? JUST TO HAVE MORE SUMMER!?!

The point is that Mabel is emotionally compromised and outmanipulated.

She’s a terrified twelve year old going through a Very Rough Day. She’s terrified about the future, she’s learned bad news after bad news, and she’s afraid her life as she knows it will be wrenched apart. It feels like everything she loves - from her best friends to her brother - will be distanced from her. 

Would you have handled this well as a kid? Adults have issues with this, too.

When she meets “Blendin,” she’s told that trading one inconsequential item will save her future. It’s self-focused, but it’s important to understand: she wouldn’t have made this choice in calmer emotional states.

Compare this to Dipper making a deal with Bill in Sock Opera. The twins literally make the same mistake for the same reasons, duped by the same villain.

Dipper: Decides to give Bill one of Mabel’s belongings, a puppet, without her knowledge. Mabel: Decides to give Bill one of Dipper’s backpack items without his knowledge. 

Dipper: Irritated with Mabel because she isn’t helping unlock the laptop.Mabel: Frustrated with Dipper because it feels like he’s abandoning her to be “special” with Ford. 

Dipper: This is an inconsequential bargain. Bill is just unlocking the laptop. He’s just taking a sock puppet - Mabel has plenty of those.Mabel: Nothing bad will happen. Just a few more weeks of summer. And she’s giving an item Ford allegedly won’t notice is missing.

Dipper: The laptop counter is ticking. Only a matter of minutes before the data gets erased.Mabel: Summer is ending in a week. Separation from Dipper is imminent. 

Dipper: Not thinking clearly due to sleep deprivation.Mabel: Not thinking clearly, emotionally compromised from a walloping bad day.

Hirsch and company have confirmed that only this combination of factors convinced Dipper to make a deal with a demon. Mabel wouldn’t have shook “Blendin’s” hand in less severe circumstances. It’s ironic that, in Sock Opera and Dipper and Mabel vs the Future, rhetoric attacks Mabel in both episodes.

So yes, Mabel gave Bill the rift. But yes, Dipper jeopardized the town’s safety by letting Bill into his body.

I know that, at this point, people might argue there’s a narrative difference. Dipper learned from his mistake but Mabel didn’t. However, I disagree. There wasn’t dialogue in Sock Opera where Dipper explicitly confronts his transgression and works it out with Mabel on screen. Same thing with Mabel and the rift. I know fans wanted it addressed that Mabel started the apocalypse… and frankly I would’ve enjoyed that too… but it doesn’t make Mabel’s writing as a character suddenly, “OH NO SELFISH SELFISH! AND THE NARRATIVE IS LETTING HER GET AWAY WITH BEING SELFISH!”

It’s no different than how writing handles Dipper in Sock Opera. And again, give a terrified kid a break instead of calling a large emotional low “irrevocably selfish.”

By the time Take Back the Falls comes around, Mabel encourages everyone to work together to fight Bill. Mabel risks her life to save the town and her family. Mabel works together with Dipper and puts the people she loves first.

Lost Legends: Fixing remaining narrative holes

After S2 ended, Mabel’s selfishness is head on tackled. That’s the ENTIRE point of Don’t Dimension It in Lost Legends. I suspect Alex Hirsch read Mabel criticism and intentionally reacted through Lost Legends. In this story, Mabel acts out of self-focused energy and doesn’t realize her actions have negative consequences to others. It puts the Pines family in an interdimensional conundrum. Once Mabel runs into other Mabels from other dimensions, she comes to terms that she’s self-absorbed and needs to be attuned to how others feel. Mabel realizes she put everyone in this mess. She apologizes to her family and resolves to be better.

It’s great.

I’ve still seen people criticize it. And that’s where I think Mabel hate rhetoric definitely goes too far. I suspect there’s bias in how people responded to that comic. By the time Lost Legends came out, criticisms for selfish Mabel were rampant and people were set in their perspectives, so seeing a character arc about Mabel’s selfishness got unfairly nitpicky responses. 

I’ve seen people say things like, “Well, she only learns when she interacts with herself, not with others!” But that’s a cool way of presenting story! Mabel sees herself in a literal mirror and takes away truth. Sometimes we don’t see our flaws until it’s right in our faces. This is Mabel’s in-the-face moment. The “I’m selfish” revelation doesn’t have to be with Dipper to be relevant toward how she treats Dipper. She takes away the full lesson she’s self-absorbed and needs to fix that. She immediately makes sure to talk to Dipper about becoming a better person. She owns responsibility toward how she’s treated her brother - and mentions the entire summer as the scope of her fault.

“I’m sorry for being selfish this summer,” the comic ends. “I guess it took me dealing with myself to realize what you put up with. It’s time for us to start some new adventures! And this time I won’t always hog the spotlight.”

There are other criticisms about Lost Legends, which I feel boil down to “I don’t know, still doesn’t satisfy me, not enough.” It makes me wonder what would get people satisfied. Does every possible angle of how someone could learn selfishness have to be covered thoroughly? No franchise can cover that scope. Isn’t there still lots of takeaway with Mabel? Don’t Dimension It alone is an episode’s worth of material, the same amount of content which most fans deemed enough to wrap up Dipper getting over Wendy, Pacifica being a brat, and Gideon being creepy on Mabel.

Mabel’s selfishness gets addressed, multiple times, and gets a final-final resolution in the comics.

Final Thoughts

I think it’s an interesting point you make, anon friend, that male characters get praised while women get condemned. I haven’t talked about gender aspects or other selfishly-acting male characters like Stanley (whose selfishness people perceive as lovable). I said earlier I don’t think it’s rampant fandom sexism, but there still could be a point there. Maybe you’re right it’s a factor. It wouldn’t be the first time gender perception’s done that.

I think there’s also point to be made that Dipper is the protagonist. Mabel’s a deuteragonist. It’s more common to write life lessons for the protagonist. That’s fine. Dipper learning more lessons than Mabel and Dipper giving up a little more than Mabel is a result of being a protagonist, not narrative excusing Mabel for her flaws or letting her waltz around scott free.

So yeah. I think Mabel’s gotten too much criticism for that flaw. Constructive criticism is almost always interesting in fandom dialogue, but rampant hate movements make me sad. Talking about how narrative structure could’ve been improved I find cool; pinning it on the character’s humanity bothers me. I think lots of the dialogue turns into criticizing Mabel unfairly as a person, and given as other GF characters have glaring flaws, it feels imbalanced and uncomfortable that SHE gets disproportionate attacks. 

This is Mabel we’re talking about. Mabel Pines, who’s SO selfish she tries to rescue Mermando when that means she’ll never see him again. Mabel Pines, who’s SO selfish she knits everyone sweaters during the Apocalypse. Mabel Pines, who’s SO selfish she calls out Dipper when he’s leading on Candy. Mabel Pines, who risks her life in multiple daring moves to save the town, parachuting through the sky into the demon’s lair… acting as a decoy to distract Bill Cipher… and more. Mabel Pines, who spends an entire episode trying to make everyone happy, down to Robbie, whom everyone else didn’t care enough about (but Mabel did!!!). Mabel Pines, who encourages Soos to date women and find a romantic connection he’s satisfied with. Mabel Pines, who fights in Globnar and risks her life, just so Soos can have a happy birthday and forget about his dad. Mabel Pines, who decides it’s better to be friends with her enemy Pacifica than fight petty battles. Mabel Pines, whose love for her brother helps even the thirty year rift between Stan and Ford mend. Mabel, who couldn’t give up on Stan and found a way to restore his memories when all others thought it lost. Mabel. Fucking. Pines!

[fereality-indy]

Wendip Week Day One - School

It’s time again for Wendip week. This year I am using the prompts to flesh out the backstory behind The Kids Are All Right. The prompts are as follows; School, Typical Pines Luck, Combat, Date Night, Flirting, Moving In With Each Other, and Bedtime Story.

Tuesday September 2, 2014

 It had taken a couple of years but we had done it. Mabel and I are finally full time residents of Gravity Falls. Of course we have been bugging our parents that they need to come up and visit us during our yearly summer trips. This year they came up for a two week stay before our birthday and dad fell in love with the small town feel. After mom found out that Northwest Medical (Pacifica says it is one of the few things she is proud her family did) was looking for a new head RN as Nurse Brooks was retiring. Deciding that that was a sign, the two began looking for a house. For now we are staying in the former servant’s cottage on the former Northwest estates with Fiddleford’s blessing.

And here we are, sophomores at Gravity Falls High School. It won’t be too bad, most of our friends are here. Candy is a freshman, Grenda and Pacifica are sophomores like us, and Nate, Lee, Tambry, and Wendy are seniors. Thompson and Robbie graduated last year. Thompson is taking some business classes at the community college the next town over and Robbie…

 About a month ago Wendy got a call at the Shack asking if she had seen Robbie. Apparently Tambry had told him that they were gonna be parents. At first he didn’t take it well believing that they were too young and he rushed out leaving her at his house with his parents. It wasn’t five minutes after telling her that she hadn’t heard from him that Nate and Lee called asking if she could met them at the Dusk2Dawn lot. Mabel volunteered to watch the counter for her and I ended up riding out with her.

 Wendy told me what was up on the way to the meet. Since it was really a private matter between old friends, I stayed in Wendy’s truck while they talked. Occasionally I would hear a loud utterance like ’not ready’ and ‘you love her right?’ and at least once it looked as if he was gonna lunge at Wendy. Even with Nate, Lee, and Thompson were there I nearly rushed out of the truck. I know she can handle herself and well it was just Robbie, but I would’ve rather take a hit from him than let him touch her. But I had no need to worry. He wasn’t attacking her, he was hugging her. Later she told me that she had just told him that he thought he would make an adequate dad. That was how much he still valued her opinion.

 It wasn’t too much later that Thompson, Nate, and Lee had to head out. Thompson, as the manager of the theater, had hired Nate and they both were about to be late to work. Lee had a date that he offered to call off if Robbie needed him, but Robbie said he didn’t want him to as he knew how long it took him to set up the date. They all stopped by and said bye as they left. Robbie stopped by to thank me for coming to support him and for understanding it was something the ‘Gang’ needed to deal with, I told him it was no problem and if they needed any help while I was in town to just let me know. He smiled his smirk like grin and said he would remember that when they need a babysitter.    

 He never got the chance to ask. We had been back at the Shack for about half hour or so when we got the call from Tambry asking for us to come to the hospital. Apparently Robbie had stopped to buy Tambry some flowers as an apology. Unfortunately as he pulled away from the florist, his van was t-boned by a car heading home from the Fractured Skull. The doctor said he didn’t make it to surgery and the driver of the other car was killed on impact.    

 It was then I reaffirmed my decision that life was too short. I ended up spending as much time as I could with either Mabel or Wendy. The two most important women in my life. At first it shocked our parents at how much time I spent with them but I think Stan may have told them about what happened. Soon it seemed as if that they had accepted Wendy as part of the Gravity Falls package. At one point dad pulled me to the side and asked ‘So is this the one your sister is always teasing you about?’.  

 The principal offered to let Tambry take time off to grieve and to have her baby, but she apparently only needs three credits to graduate and she wants to get them done so she can graduate with her friends whether the baby is here or not.

 So there she was on stage with principal and a few other faculty members as they turned the first day of the new school year into an assembly. They talked about the dangers of drinking and driving, had a memorial for Robbie as an Honored Alumnus, introduced the freshmen, and finally introduced Mabel & I as transfer students to the assembled students. Seeing how it was a half day they dismissed everyone by grades starting with the seniors, with everyone picking up a copy of their schedule as they left incase they didn’t receive the one in the mail. The plan was as soon as we were done the whole group was gonna head over to Yumberjacks for burger and fries. As Mabel and I got our schedules we heard our names called, turning we saw it was Principal Reeves.

 After we walked over he shook Mabel’s hand as he started speaking, “Hello Mabel, and you must be Mason, I mean Dipper.”

 At that he turned and shook my hand before continuing, “I would like to welcome you personally to our school, I’ve heard such great things from your great uncle. Now normally I wouldn’t believe a word that old shyster said, but I have seen both of your transcripts.”        

 “And just where do you get off calling our Grunkle a shyster?” Mabel asked, getting defensive over her second favorite (at least I hope) family member.

 “No need to get into a huff, my dear. I reckon I’ve known your, ‘Grunkle’ was it, for longer than you’ve been alive. Though for most of that I thought he was Stanford Pines and not Stanley. You play cards with a guy twice a month for nearly twenty-five years and you’d think you would know someone.” Principal Reeves said. When he saw the look of confusion on our faces he pointed to a small lapel pin on his jacket. It was a maroon trapezoid with a familiar looking yellow fish (?) in he middle of it. "We’re both members of the Order of the Holy Mackerel.”

 Apparently he thought it warranted more explanation, “We’re a fraternal organization along the lines of the Knights of Columbus or the Shriners. But enough about that, I called you two over to talk about tomorrow. Most of the incoming students were able to come in during registration and get a basic idea of where their classes, but since you two were late comers I have arrange for you to have guides for the first couple of days.”

 “You didn’t need to do that…” I started before Mabel slapped her hand over my mouth.

 “Speak for yourself, broseph. I’m always up for some help. Maybe it’ll even be the start of a new friendship.” Mabel said as she removed her hand.

 “Actually from what I am to understand, these two are people you already know.” Principal Reeves said as he raised his hand and waved for someone to come over, “Actually one of them credits you Mr. Pines as one of the reasons she has turned her academic aptitude around.”

 I felt a familiar hand grab my shoulder. I turned and saw it was Wendy. Being eyeball level with her chin, I’m finally catching up to her height wise.

 “Paz!”, Mabel called out as she turned and saw who her guide was. She quickly pulled her into a hug.  

 “You ready to learn the ins and outs of the school, Dip?” Wendy said with a smile that brightened up the whole school.

 “If you’re leading…” I thought before I realized I was actually saying it. I had gotten better at that but there are times that she still draws out my innermost thoughts. She had a small smirk that told me that she had heard me as I said, “I mean, yeah. With your help I’ll have this place figured out in no time.”

 “Well since this all seems to be in order I’ll see you all tomorrow.” Principal Reeves said clapping his hands together.            

 We stood there for a little bit while Mabel and Pacifica seemed to be comparing schedules. (I actually lost track of time just being there with Wendy) before my stomach told me I had rushed out without eating breakfast with a loud growl. This got a chuckle from Wendy and broke the girls out of whatever discussion they seemed to be having.

 “Did someone anger a gnome?” Pacifica asked with a chuckle. Mabel joined her in the laughter.

 “Yeah, yeah. Cut the guy some slack, we were supposed to be at Yumberjacks by now. Come on the gang is probably waiting on us.”  Wendy chastised the girls before she put her arm around my shoulder as we walked off.

[wendip-week]

Wendip Week 2018 Part 3: Combat

Hey guys, sorry for not posting these here during Wendip week. Let me give you a run-down of the background: I made my Wendip Week in context of the Kamen Rider Weird series I’m writing, which takes place in the future of SuperGroverAway’s universe (with ddp456 influence….yes, I had permission from them both). As a result, the main characters - including Phoebe, their daughter - from my series are co-hosts for this week. I’ll post more of Wendip Week here, but for those of you who want to read the main story, follow me on fanfiction.net or leave a guest review. Now, then, here’s part 3 of Wendip Week 2018:

#############################################################################################################

“So, Ken, since you’re a fighter, let me ask you what you think about my Dad’s capabilities in a fight?” Phoebe mischievously grinned.

Ken, however, was ready for the comment. “With or without this?” he shot back as he moved his jacket to flash the Journal Driver on his waist.

Phoebe shrugged “Touche, but I’m not revoking the question. Well?”

Ken started counting fingers as he listed. “Skinny body and arms makes for small hitbox, that magnet gun gives him good range on electrical enemies and anything that can be knocked back, but not much muscle power and therefore not really good for melee purposes. He’s more like Ford in that his fighting style just doesn’t work without tech.”

“You’re forgetting one thing….” Phoebe leaned forward in gleeful anticipation.

Ken sighed and revealed several bruises on his forearm before continuing. “Be advised; do not hit him while his wife is around, even during a practice match. Learned that the hard way.”

Phoebe leaned back as the two entered memory lane again. “Spoiler Tag, but…You sure did…”

########################################################################

Ken and Dipper stood facing each other a good twenty feet from the Mystery Shack, the younger of the two with raised fists in a battle position while the elder fingered a metal device next to his hip.

“You sure about this, boss?” Ken said anxiously, his face betraying his concern for his teacher. “I’ve known how to fight even before the Journal Driver existed. You’re not playing with an advantage here.”

Dipper was uncharacteristically calm. “You engaged Practice Mode like I taught you, right?”

“Yeah, nothing lethal.”

“Good, then we’ll be fine. Besides…” Dipper said, rocking back and forth like he was once again in a live version of Fight Fighters. “I was supposed to wear that. I kinda want to know how I would have done.”

“Alright then,” Ken whipped out the Chapter labeled 00. “I’m not holding back!” With that he clicked the button on it, unsheathing the metal contact tip as the indicator light on the drive turned green with a satisfying PING. As he inserted it into his Driver, the Driver began the chant:

“NEW CHAPTER!”

Ken’s hands went high above his head before he rolled them into fists and slowly brought them down in front of his face. As the Driver continued - “WHO IS. THE STUDY TODAY?” in an upbeat rhythm - he crossed his hands and opened them to the fingers were on either side of the faceplate.

“Henshin!”

The second he spun the plate and it clicked, a giant brown page grew out of nothingness and hid him from view.

“GO WEIRD! I’m a Kamen Rider for the uncommon writer!” The belt exclaimed.

Rider armor was sketched onto it before it drifted backwards, the middle becoming stretched as it reached Ken and tried to keep going. Finally, the brown and yellow Rider burst through the page as it shattered, the black buglike eyes on his mask giving the appearance of a man ready for a fight.

He raised his hand to the left as his Driver called out, “Quill Saber!” Instead of the normal silver blade, however, an orange plastic facsimile appeared in his hands. With it in hand he charged Dipper, who did not hesitate to shoot  off three blasts of the magnet gun’s pulse setting in the meantime.

TSEW! KA-SHING!

Despite being only a mock version of the Quill Saber, it proved durable enough for Ken to deflect all of the incoming blasts. Within seconds he had cleared the distance between the two and was rearing his arm to strike - with the flat, of course.

But Dipper had been in enough fights to know what to do. He leaned down and rammed his fist straight into Weird’s gut, forcing the Rider back a foot. The bought him the precious second needed to roll out of the way and shoot one more time. Weird was not prepared for that, and with a THUNK the Quill Saber fell and stabbed the ground.

Weird jumped into the air and kicked down to where Dipper was, but the explorer deftly crossed his arms and absorbed most of the impact. It still caused him to fall with Weird on top of him, but Dipper had seen this exact position some time ago and simply had to copy a certain redhead. “Get off me!” he demanded as he kicked Weird off.

Inside the suit, Ken rolled a few feet and winced. “God, I hate practice mode! No enhanced strength…this armor actually has weight to it now!”

As Dipper got up, Ken knew he had only one chance. Without hesitation, he kept rolling until he got to where his makeshift blade had fallen. Springing up, he had just enough time to see Dipper raise the magnet gun once more. With a mighty heave, Ken used the flat to knock it clean out his hands before delivering a sidekick. Dipper and the gun fell at the same time, but one was too far away from the other to make any difference.

Before the archaeologist could move anymore, Ken’s blade was at his throat. As the Kamen Rider asked “How’s that for you, boss?” Dipper couldn’t help but grin.

“Well played, Ken. I guess you really do make a better Rider than I would have.”

“Then I guess the game is mi-”

TWANG! CLANK!

Suddenly Ken felt the blade being ripped out of his hand. As it fell to the ground, the two males noticed something else now sticking out of the grass - an arrow.

“Someone roughing up my dork down there?”

Ken gulped as he looked up in the treetops. Sure enough, there Wendy sat, crossbow in one hand and hatchet in the other, with a face filled with only fury. Looking down at Dipper, noticing for the first time how bruised he had gotten in the fight - complete with two scratches and a swollen eye, somehow - he panicked

“Wendy, it’s not what it looks like - ”

“Save your apologies!” With that, the lumberjill jumped off the tree and swung the axe at poor Kamen Rider Weird.

He was no fool and immediately began stepping backwards, dodging and ducking as Wendy continued to walk forward and swing at him. For all he knew he had just awoken a sleeping giant. But for all that rage, he never guessed that she had still kept her wits about her. For when Ken prepared to fend off another blow, Wendy rapidly switched to her crossbow and fired a bolt straight into the shoulder of his armor. Weird moved to pull it out before feeling his body stiffen. As he felt the tree trunk behind him, he realized what the lumberjill had been doing - she tricked him into backing up straight into a hard surface so she could trap him and show no mercy.

“I’m ripping that armor off you, Ken!” With that, Wendy began hacking at the chestplate, sparks flying as she made no progress but did leave the poor boy in quite a lot of pain with each blow.

From where he lay, Dipper looked up. “Glad I told you to put the belt on for this, huh?”

Ken could only reply between buffets, “OW! Yes! OW! UNCLE! UNCLEE!”

###################################################################################

After a few minutes of cleaning and a half hour in the healing chamber in the lab, the two main combatants of the day felt almost like new. Dipper had gone before Ken, and as the boy stood up after his turn, the elder of them turned to look at his unabashed wife. Grinning like an idiot, he said “Well, you sure were a big help today, but I think you had a little too much fun out there.”

“Sorry, Indiana Jones,” she teased in reply, “but watching you get beat up like that left me unable to think for a minute.”

“You know,” Ken said, rubbing a spot on his shoulder that was still sore - no one said the machine was perfect - “If you’re going to keep calling him that, at least buy him a whip so you don’t have to intervene next time.”

Wendy laughed. “Fair enough. Sorry about the bowshot, by the way.”

“Eh, that’s alright. Now I know to keep an eye on my blind spots for potential enemies.” Ken offered his hand.

Dipper and Wendy took turns shaking it as the former replied. “Good effort, but I hope you learned something else too. Something that’ll make you seem more native to the region.”

“What is that?” Ken smiled, confused but amused.

Dipper put an arm around his wife. “Hell hath no fury like a ticked off person with Corduroy blood.”

“Or the Pines name, it seems.” Ken added as the three laughed together.

#########################################################################################

“I’m sorry, what?” Phoebe said, unaware that she was balling up her fist and crushing her Pitt Cola can in the process.

Ken looked alarmed at the amount of soda dripping over her hand. “Hey, I only said the second half of that! Your dad made the joke, blame him!”

“I don’t even…why….Dad…” she calmed down enough to noticed the crushed can in her hand and the resulting mess. “Huh.”

Ken pried, “Who were you mad at just now, me or him?”

Phoebe sighed as she got up to get some tissue to clean up. “Honestly, I don’t even know anymore…”

[shoottomiss]

Why Pacifica has more character than Wendy (And why that’s one of GF’s biggest issues)

I’ve technically already talked about this. Made a small little post about it way back when that pretty much covered it in one paragraph. But sometimes you feel like expanding on things like that, you know? Besides, It doesn’t really hurt to think about it a little more deeply.

Oh, and if you haven’t seen gravity falls? There will be spoilers here. So, enter if you dare.

It’s no secret to those who know me that Gravity Falls is my favorite show of all time. It’s impact was what “saved” me from the “all new cartoons are bad” mindset, a thought process that plagued many during the cartoon channel dark age at the turn of the decade.

I’d say the only thing I’d actually hate about it is that terrible 3DS game, and even then I don’t dwell on that. However, it does serve as a reminder that like all shows, Gravity Falls doesn’t have a perfect track record. A show can minimize its mistakes, but at the end of the day, it will still end up making them from time to time. Gravity Falls in particular had a few problems of its own, from Dipper’s crush that just kept coming back, to Mabel’s difficult to digest at times childish antics.

But while both of these aspects can be justified, Gravity Falls’ biggest mistake is one that was never addressed or fixed. Which can be a big problem when it’s one of the main characters on your show.

It’s hard not to like the colorful band of characters Gravity Falls brings to the table. Whether it’s Dipper and his nerdy awkwardness, Mabel and her crazy antics, Soos the eccentric handyman, or Con-artist Grunkle Stan, it’s very likely you’ll come to enjoy at least one of them. 

But one other character sticks out like a sore thumb, one that manages to share a bit of the spotlight with the other four, even though it feels like she doesn’t really deserve it.

Enter Wendy, the teenage cashier of the mystery shack. Wendy is the “Fonzie” of Gravity Falls, constantly doing awesome actions and saying cool stuff because she’s, well, cool and awesome. She often has sage teenage advice for Mabel or Dipper, handles dangerous situations like a pro, and is the main love interest for Dipper. On the surface, these traits make it seem like Wendy might be an interesting character. The reality however, is the exact opposite.

Let’s be honest with ourselves, Wendy is perhaps the most boring character on the show. Wendy may be cool and collected, but since it ain’t broke, there’s nothing to fix. There’s no emotional conflicts with her, no stories that center around her, and no flaws in her character to make her more interesting. She has little to offer towards anything in the story other than pushing it towards its next destination. Now sure, all characters are technically pushing the story forward at all times. But creators usually make it feel more natural, by having the characters be just the slightest bit complex, thereby making them seem less of an obvious tool.

Had she been a minor character, this wouldn’t have been as much of an issue. But Wendy is a major character, one that appears in the theme song and has been on adventures with the twins more than a few times. Yet constantly the most complex intricacies she displays are that of a wooden board (in fact, the board might have more to offer). She never changes, from the very beginning of the series to the very end. So why even put her up front at all? If she was going to act as more of a minor character, why have her anywhere near the spotlight the main characters have? There’s almost nothing to work with.

It doesn’t help that her only character traits can end up hurting her too. Especially the damn crush. The fact that the biggest things Wendy is involved in also involve Dipper’s crush on her 95% of the time can be extremely frustrating to deal with, way more than it is for Dipper’s character. These cases once make her feel like nothing more than a tool that moves others forward instead of herself.

Though it seems like that wasn’t always meant to be the case. There are inklings here and there, in certain episodes, where it seems like some sort of actual character is trying to explode out of Wendy, like some sort of literary chest-burster. Wendy’s emotions during Boyz Crazy, her feelings of being manipulated by Robbie and being hurt by Dipper’s naive disregard for how she felt, is a episodic-conflict that writes itself. But by the time we reach her in the next episode, it’s brushed off as nothing more than a passing feeling, that needed no follow up. Another two great possibilities to look into Wendy’s character happen within the same episode, Society of the Blind Eye.

Firstly, Wendy talks about to Mabel about her love troubles, where she decides to tell Mabel to forget about guys. Though it is her usual “teenage wisdom”, it presents us with a possible consequence of the numerous ex-boyfriends Wendy has had (as she lists off in Hand that Rocks the Mabel). Has she become disillusioned by dating, or love? Is she far more similar to Mabel than we realized, dreaming of having someone to hold and also reaching a dead end? Hell, is she discovering something about her sexuality? 

The second opportunity is perhaps the biggest one, the one everyone remembers. Fearing their minds will be erased, Wendy admits that she’s actually extremely stressed all the time, and that it’s mainly a result of her family. Could it be because she’s the only woman in the house, especially with her mother gone? In fact, what happened to her mother? Could it be the way her father raised her, seeing as how he substituted Christmas with apocalypse survival training? Maybe it’s that she has to look after her brothers while her father is doing god knows what? It would certainly be nice to confirm why she’s always so calm and collected.

All of these possibilities would have worked, and would have helped Wendy’s character immensely. But instead, they too are abandoned, and Wendy is doomed to be as complex as a piece of string until the series ends.

I would also like to mention the rumor I’ve heard on the grapevine- that Wendy was indeed supposed to have an episode based around her, but it was dropped (if I recall correctly, it was because they decided to finish a different episode instead). Though I can’t confirm it, I will say that the “stressed all the time” point is definitely evidence for it.

Things get even worse when actual minor characters end up looking more interesting than Wendy, to the point where characters like Grenda and Robbie, fucking Robbie, are characters who have managed to receive better development within the bits and pieces of a single episode. But none stole Wendy’s potential quite more than Pacifica Northwest.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love Pacifica and what Alex gave her. In fact I admit I support the relationship between the llama and a certain pine tree. But if we are to once again be honest with ourselves, as a two-dimensional mean girl bully character meant only to be an obstacle for Mabel’s goals, Pacifica had far more development than she ever deserved to have.

It’s strange to think that people would latch onto Pacifica, despite her having so little to work with. Perhaps it was the slight lampshade hanging over her, or that her version of the character archetype was so amusing, but people loved her. How much, you ask? Enough to catch Alex by surprise and convince him to make an episode centered around her. It was a strange occurrence, to say the least.

Season 2 began, and by the third episode, we already began getting a taste of Pacifica’s new development, seeing the pressure put on her by her father. But it wasn’t until Northwest Mansion Mystery where Pacifica was fully expanded upon, showing us new twists in her character. She could be rather nice when not obsessed with “looking rich”, she began showing remorse for her foul behavior, and the one thing that stuck with everyone the most- that her parents were very likely abusive. Pacifica’s popularity in the fandom skyrocketed, and she’s been a favorite ever since. People even went so far as to get angry when her character seemingly regressed in the finale, and for some, it’s the only thing in said finale they consider bad.

But Pacifica’s increasing popularity also increased the problem on Wendy’s side. While people were waiting for Pacifica to show up in episodes after, Wendy’s appearances would be received with a more “come and go” attitude. How Wendy would impact the story from here wasn’t anyone’s biggest concern, and any action or appearance she made would be acknowledged, then brushed aside. Meanwhile there were theories a plenty about how Pacifica would become involved later on. It isn’t hard to see why.

It created what I’d like to call the “character paradox”, where Pacifica seemed far more viable as a major character despite being a minor character, while Wendy looked more fit to be a minor character instead of a major one.

However, this also created another problem on Pacifica’s side. A problem similar, but different to Wendy’s. When the series ended, and Pacifica’s only other appearances were cameos and and small bits in the finale, fans became upset that Pacifica didn’t have more time given to her. Things that they wanted Alex to expand upon, like how Pacifica would deal with the bell, her relationship with one or both of the Pines twins, and so on. Alex gave them a bone, not realizing they would be swarming for more. Now admittedly, it is partially the fans’ fault for assuming we would get more out of such a small time character, but that other part has to go somewhere. And unfortunately, Alex and his crew are that somewhere, starving one girl character so much that the fans scrambled for the next best thing. 

And why wouldn’t they? There were paths you could explore with Wendy or Pacifica that you just couldn’t do with Mabel. Yes, obvious things like possible romance, but also other aspects, like their families (which would be much different from Mabel, since many of her family problem’s are also Dipper’s), or hell, their possible interactions other characters, or with each other.

But we were cut off on both ends. After everything was said and done, and the series was over, neither character felt complete. We were left with two underdeveloped characters instead of one or two fully developed characters. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think the show is bad now, far from it. It’s a big problem, yes, but not enough to make Gravity Falls anything short of amazing. But when it came to this aspect of the show, it certainly does feel like Alex’s priorities were a bit skewed. I think fans would have preferred an episode about either of these two rather than an episode where Dipper learns to not be a womanizing jerk (don’t think we need an entire episode for that).

And hell, it’s not as bad as how much Rebecca keeps Connie from doing after four fucking seasons.

[apathetic-revenant]

Consider this ask as a request to get that rant on Roadside Attraction STARTED!

Hoo boy. 

Okay, first of all, I sincerely apologize for leaving this unanswered so long. Things…happened. 

Disclaimer: I haven’t watched Roadside Attraction in a while so I might be slightly misremembering some of it. (It’d probably be a good idea to rewatch it first, but honestly just writing all this has got me riled up enough already. (look emotions are hard okay)

Disclaimer 2: I critique because I love, I swear. 

So when it comes down to it, I guess my problems with RA basically boil down to two big things:

1. The overall ‘message’ and how it treats the characters.

2. The weirdness of it existing at that point in the show in the first place.

First things first: look, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for media messages about not being a skeevy jerk and treating women as objects, but the way it was done in this episode was, honestly, just…weird. It basically introduces a character trait for Dipper (and, to a lesser extent, Stan; I mean I know Stan is…Stan, but did anyone really get ‘sleazy pickup artist’ as the vibe from any of his interactions with women that we saw before this episode?) that he was never shown to remotely have before or after (though admittedly there’s not a lot of ‘after’ to begin with), just so he could be taught a lesson about it that he never should have needed in the first place. 

Dipper’s problem has always been that’s he’s obsessed with one girl, and he certainly got plenty of embarrassment and woe out of that general experience, but ultimately that was good for him: he loosened up (somewhat), became more understanding and accepting of Wendy’s autonomy, and moved towards being able to deal with rejection while still being friends with her. That’s a satisfying arc and it makes no sense to me that they would suddenly partway reverse it and then use that as a reason to try and take Dipper down this weird incredibly short character arc that he didn’t need.

Is it realistic that you don’t just immediately get over someone even if intellectually accept that you’re not going to be together? Absolutely. But frankly, this is a weirdass time for Gravity Falls to be invoking realism. And regardless, realism does not automatically make for a better story, especially when that story has to be told in 22 minute intervals.

So it’s already weird that the show is portraying Dipper that way, but then what he does is really not all that heinous to begin with. The thing is, Stan is right. Dipper does need practice talking to-well, everyone, really, but especially girls. For God’s sake, the poor guy needed a massively oversized list, a bunch of clones, and a Rube Goldberg-esque plot just to ask Wendy to dance with him, a task he ultimately failed at anyway. (Which, honestly, even aside from intent, makes the whole idea of him successfully managing to actually lead any girls on to any degree pretty dang unbelievable.) And that’s really all he does with any of them, is talk. He doesn’t promise them anything except maybe to stay in touch, which we don’t really have any evidence he wasn’t planning on doing. Hell, even Stan, for all that we’re supposed to see his behavior as Not Good (which, to be fair, it usually is) doesn’t really do anything more than flirt with an apparently receptive woman and then take a walk with her, which is honestly way more honorable than most of Stan’s interactions with people. We’ve certainly seen him treat people way worse than that without getting condemned for it.

And then there’s the whole thing with Candy, which is…really frustrating. She puts Dipper in a situation he’s very, very obviously not comfortable with, demands something of him he never gave her an indication that he was interested in, and then when she doesn’t get what she wants…he has to apologize to her? By ‘admitting’ that he was being an idiot? What? 

Like, I know they were going for ‘don’t be a pickup artist’, basically, but what it came off as was more like ‘never interact with women because if you do they’ll immediately start acting like you’re in a relationship with them and expect you to act the same way and sometimes they might do that even if you don’t interact with them (also sometimes they might turn out to be spider women who will eat you)’. 

Basically, any time you set out to give the message ‘treat women with respect’ and instead wind up with ‘women are strange, irrational and sometimes horrifying’, I think you’ve really got to step back and reconsider things for a minute. 

But what’s especially weird to me is the contrast between this and the way the show treats Mabel’s behavior. Mabel’s been spending pretty much the whole show doing what this episode punishes Dipper for doing. We see her hitting on three boys in rapid succession within the first ten minutes of the show, her desire for a relationship and rather aggressive pursuit of that is the formation of a lot of plots during the show, and she’s only called on it when it gets to the point of hurting her friendships or literally imprisoning boys in her room.

I mean, I’m not trying to pick on Mabel here, or say that the show should have been calling her on that except when it got extreme (like, say, literally imprisoning boys in her room), at which point the show did call her on it. But it’s weird to me that the show then goes out of its way to condemn Dipper for doing basically the same thing except to a lesser degree. I guess you could argue that Mabel was looking for a relationship and Dipper was looking for ‘practice’, but that still doesn’t really work for me; in both instances they have a goal in mind for which the specific other person involved is basically a variable. Why is Mabel wanting an Epic Summer Romance with more or less any boy worse than Dipper wanting to just talk to more or less any girl? And at any rate, Dipper’s attitude in RA hardly seems any worse towards the girls than the attitude Mabel, Grenda and Candy went into the Northwest party with towards the boys, but we’re supposed to take one as being terrible and the other as being perfectly normal girl behavior. 

So yeah, there’s that. Now, part two. (Still with me?)

The pacing. This episode makes absolutely no sense to me where it is. You spend 3/4s of the show building up to this big reveal that completely alters the atmosphere, plot, and character dynamics, and now you have all of five episodes to explore all the ramifications of that while ramping up the tension towards the big finale…why would you make one of those a filler episode that has no impact on the plot at all and is so disconnected to anything that it could have been stuck pretty much anywhere else in the show without next to no changes? 

Like, okay, I’ll admit, part of why I don’t like this episode is because it doesn’t have Ford in it. And hey, that’s a personal thing. But it’s not just about me wanting MOAR FORD. The thing is, regardless of whether you like him or loathe him or whatever, Ford is, objectively, an incredibly important character. He’s the catalyst for the central plot and driving mystery of the show and the principle catalyst for the oncoming confrontation, his appearance changes pretty much everything that we took for granted about the show before, and just by existing he has a huge impact directly on Stan and Dipper and indirectly on Mabel (in that his interactions with Dipper in turn impact Mabel’s relationship with him). And, again, you have five episodes to explore all this. In one of them Ford’s barely there at all and then in this one he doesn’t even get mentioned. We don’t even get an explanation for why he’s suddenly absent. (I know we do in the Journal, but not in the show itself.) I just…that doesn’t make any sense to me. I mean, maybe I’m showing favoritism here, but-no offense to Candy-I really don’t get why she gets more character focus in this episode than, y’know. The long-lost close family member with massive unresolved issues and a huge amount of secrets. 

And it doesn’t make any sense to me to have a light-hearted filler episode with nothing to do with the plot so very close to the finale when the tension is so high and the last episode literally ended with a very ominous threat. It certainly doesn’t make sense in plot terms that they spent so much time last episode working to protect the Shack so they had a sanctuary from Bill, and then everyone runs away from the Shack. I just. What.

And, this is a lesser point, but it doesn’t really make sense to me for them to leave Gravity Falls itself at that point in the show. Just, sure, we know weird stuff exists in plenty of other places, but there’s a lot of focus on there being something especially weird and significant about Gravity Falls specifically. And that’s something that gets really dialed up in this last part of the show-Ford specifically seeking the town out to study, the significance of the Mystery Shack and all its secrets, the connection Bill has to the area, the crashed UFO, and of course it all builds up to a big plot point in the finale that Bill’s confined to Gravity Falls. But then right smack in the middle of all that we briefly detour to some pretty much unrelated location for…what reason? It’s like MYSTERY OF GRAVITY FALLS MYSTERY OF GRAVITY FALLS MYSTERY OF GRAVITY FALLS oh by the way there’s some spider people over here too MYSTERY OF GRAVITY FALLS. It’s not a huge deal but it feels weird to me, especially since the show had hardly been going on so long that that they had worn out the setting. 

I know I’m committing the great sin of claiming to know better than the writers, but since we’ve come this far anyway, you know what I think would have worked better than Roadside Attraction?

You’ve already got this idea of the other tourist trap owners annually pranking Stan, so why not just go with that? Have them come to him like they apparently usually do. That way:

-You can keep the focus on Gravity Falls and all the plot points therein.

-You don’t have the problem of everyone inexplicably leaving their sanctuary; in fact, that adds to the plot, because now they have even more motivation to protect the Mystery Shack.

-You’ve got a lot of opportunity for character interplay as the family has to deal with all this (imagine the opportunity for conflict between Ford and Stan over the house, and how much you could build up the oncoming tension of Stan having to leave the Shack by showing how much he had really made it his home over the years).

-You can still hint at the existence of weirdness outside Gravity Falls without taking the focus away from it.

-You could expand on Stan’s past a little-because God knows we all wanted it-by referencing what was going on with him and these other rivals for all these years, and show a bit more about how the Shack actually operates as a tourist trap, which I, at least, would have liked to see.

-You could continue the ongoing character arc of Dipper’s relationship with Ford and how that was impacting his relationship with Mabel, instead of dropping it for something completely out of the blue.

-You could still have a bit of a breather episode before the finale (since that was evidently the reason we got this one here in the first place) without having to completely drop the plot and derail all the building tension to do so. 

-Tell me you wouldn’t want to see a full-scale Pines family prank war unleashed, because I sure as hell would. 

But anyway, in conclusion:

I don’t like Roadside Attraction much. 

[animationnut]

To Gravity Falls, From Piedmont: Chapter 23

Summary: It’s a long way until next summer. Until then, Dipper   and Mabel share their daily antics and life problems with their lifelong friends and attentive great-uncles through an endless string of   e-mails. Distance makes the heart grow fonder after all, and there’s no place Dipper and Mabel love more than Gravity Falls.

                                                    Chapter List

To: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick), Grunkle Stan (StantheMan), Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)

From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)

Subject: Déjà vu

Hey!

So you remember all those months ago when Dipper went through the ceiling of the attic? I'm sure you do because it was hilarious. But now I'm trapped in the attic, and it's not hilarious from this end. The door is stuck and not opening. I don't have my cellphone on me, so if one of you could contact Dipper for me that would be great.

Much love,

Mabel

Wiping her dust-streaked hands on her black purple-dotted leggings, Mabel moved the laptop she was using over to the corner of the attic. It had been a stroke of luck that she discovered it, rifling through yellow-stained boxes in search of something to pry the door open.

Some of the keys were missing, but if she pressed down hard enough she could make them work. There was a crack spider-webbing down the right corner of the screen and the battery life was practically non-existent, so the frayed, taped-up charger stretched from one of the attic's electrical sockets.

"Whew. Okay. Communication established. Now to wait for a response."

She lifted a box to remove it from her path and dropped it on an already precarious stack. A cloud of dust rushed up, causing her to erupt in a series of sneezes. She hunched over slightly, hand moving to cover her nose and mouth. When her sinuses were as clear as could be such a tight, dirty atmosphere, she straightened.

"Geez, it's stuffy in here."

Mabel moved over to the window, stepping carefully across the wooden beams, not wanting to re-enact Dipper's through-the-floor routine. She reached the window and gripped the bottom, the paint chipping off at her touch. With a few grunts and a lot of strength, she managed to wrench the window upwards, releasing a flurry of white paint and more dust. A breeze drifted through the open space and Mabel gulped in the fresh air.

Now it was a little easier to breathe, Mabel set her hands on her hips and regarded her situation. The boxes she had rifled through yielded nothing but old baby stuff, faded books and holiday decorations. Though there were still some boxes remaining, she doubted they would hold anything of use to her. Most of the tools were kept in the shed in the backyard and despite her strong power of imagination, she figured a crowbar wouldn't materialize anytime soon.

Mabel went over to door and yanked on the knob, even though she knew it was futile. The wooden door rattled in its frame, but would not budge. Shrugging her shoulders, Mabel picked her way back to the laptop and brightened when she discovered a string of new messages.

Mabel Pines: Hey! So you remember all those months ago when Dipper went through the ceiling of the attic? I'm sure you do because it was hilarious. But now I'm trapped in the attic, and it's not hilarious from this end. The door is stuck and not opening. I don't have my cellphone on me, so if one of you could contact Dipper for me that would be great.

Wendy Corduroy: Geez what is with you guys and attics?

Grunkle Stan: You runts lived in one for three months without a problem. Now they're trying to kill you.

Grunkle Ford: I would say that it's illogical that a room has the sentience to try and kill you but let me tell you that there are some terrifying and freaky things in the multi-dimension.

Soos Ramirez: Wait, if you don't have your cellphone, how are you contacting us? Do you have special powers?

Mabel Pines: I wish. The power of teleportation would really come in handy right now. I found one of Dad's old laptops up here, and it still works, so yay! A victory for me.

Grunkle Stan: I'll give your brother a call, pumpkin.

Mabel Pines: Thanks, Grunkle Stan! Tell him to bring a crowbar. Or a saw.

Grunkle Ford: How long have you been trapped?

Mabel Pines: I honestly don't know. The little clock in the corner of the laptop screen is blurred, so I can't read it. Is it still February?

Soos Ramirez: I think so. Haven't checked the calendar today, though, so I'm not sure.

Wendy Corduroy: Not even gonna go there. Yo, Mabel, you could use the hole Dipper made last time and drop into your living room.

Mabel Pines: We patched it up pretty good last time, so I don't think I'll be able to pry the boards off with just my hands. I could probably go out the window and onto the roof. I dunno how the neighbours will react to my grappling hook, though. My parents still don't know I have it.

Grunkle Ford: I think it would be best if you waited for your brother.

Soos Ramirez: That can be your backup plan, hambone. Is it a far drop?

Mabel Pines: About three stories, and there are some bushes below. I could probably make it without my grappling hook.

Wendy Corduroy: That's maybe a little bit higher than when you jumped off the Mystery Shack roof trying to fly.

Grunkle Ford: …what?

Mabel Pines: It was an experiment.

Soos Ramirez: She got some good altitude.

Grunkle Ford: Yes, you most definitely share the genes of Stan and I. I am both proud and slightly concerned by this.

Blueprints stretched across the oak table of the library, Dipper and his robotic club members started the beginning stages of constructing their robot for the annual Piedmont Junior Robo-Brawl. Dipper tapped his pencil idly against the edge, listening to his teammates discuss possible improvements and chiming in to voice his own suggestions.

An insistent buzzing in his pocket caused him to pause his note taking. He took a peek at the caller ID and immediately stood up when he realized it was Stan. "I'll be right back," he informed the group and quickly walked outside, squinting against the bright rays of the sun. "Hey, Grunkle Stan. What's up?"

"Your sister, all the way up in the attic."

Dipper blinked, surprised by this unexpected information, and then grinned. "Did she fall through the ceiling?"

"It's rude to wish your twin in such a humiliating predicament."

"I'm taking that as a no. And that's real rich coming from the guy who bust a gut when it happened to me."

"I'm a guy who appreciates humour. Mabel's trapped in the attic and didn't have her phone, so I'm summoning you to go rescue her."

"Got it. I'm on my way. Thanks, Grunkle Stan."

"No problem. And you runts really need to stay out of your attic."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Dipper jogged into the library to tell his club members that he had to leave to help his sister, and started for home. He noticed the e-mail notifications and started to read through the messages, unable to keep the grin off of his face.

Dipper Pines: I'll be there in twenty minutes. Which is about the length of time it took for you to come help me.

Mabel Pines: Come on, bro! That's not cool!

Wendy Corduroy: You're loving this, aren't you?

Dipper Pines: Very much so.

Soos Ramirez: It's funny that you both got stuck in the attic.

Dipper Pines: It's very funny. And I would say there's a good dose of karma being dished out here, considering how hard she laughed at me.

Mabel Pines: Ha ha, I get it. I probably had this coming. But you're not getting any karma points for laughing at me now, mister.

Dipper Pines: I am fully aware of this and willingly admit that I'm no more mature than you are when it comes to taking amusement out of our misfortunes.

Mabel Pines: So long as you admit it.

Grunkle Ford: Good luck, kids. Try not to get too crazy getting that door open.

Mabel Pines: We'll try, but I don't think this door is going to survive.

Wendy Corduroy: Use an axe. Axes always help.

Soos Ramirez: Pretend you're in an action movie. It'll give you a ton of motivation.

Grunkle Stan: Take a picture of the aftermath. I can't wait to see this.

Dipper Pines: Will do. Update you in a bit!

Kicking off his sneakers, Dipper made a beeline for the attic, taking the stairs two at a time. "Mabel?"

"Bro, I'm dying of thirst!"

"No you aren't." Dipper gripped the knob with both hands and pulled with all his might. "Geez," he groaned when it didn't budge. "What did you do, decorate this with superglue?"

"Less quips and more rescuing. I don't have anything in here to help out."

"I'll go find something to get this dumb thing open. Don't go anywhere."

"And you say Grunkle Stan has bad jokes."

"Runs in the family."

Dipper made his way out into the backyard, crossing the browned grass towards the sagging garden shed tucked away against the fence. He nudged open the door and batted away some cobwebs. He picked through his father's toolbox, eyeing the hammer and screwdriver with some thought before giving his head a shake.

"Crowbar, crowbar…"

After some careful rifling through a crate, he found the desired object. Taking the metal object, he rushed back into the house and up the stairs. "Got it," he said.

"Got what? A saw?"

"We don't own a saw, first off. We're in a Californian suburb. I got a crowbar though. So let's see how this goes."

Digging it between the cracks, Dipper braced one foot against the wall and pushed down on the bar. He felt Mabel pushed from the other side, trying to add more force to dislodge the door from its hinges. It took a few minutes but finally it gave way. Dipper scrambled backwards to avoid being struck and the door clattered to the hardwood with a bang.

Dipper wasn't quite sure how old their house was, but considering how the door broke apart on impact, he could take a good guess. Splinters scattered across the floor, the rusted doorknob clattered and rolled and there was a massive crack snacking down the middle of the door.

"Freedom!" whooped Mabel, charging from the attic and going down the stairs.

Dipper kicked aside some screws and followed after her, crowbar dangling next to his side. He found her in the kitchen, guzzling down some water. "Do you need a tetanus shot?"

"Nope. Maybe an inhaler to get rid of all the dust I inhaled." Mabel wiped lingering drops of water off of her mouth and set the glass down. "Thanks for the save, Dipper."

"Anytime." Dipper placed the crowbar on the table and rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know what we're going to do about the door, though."

"We'll just get a new one," Mabel said. "Can't be too hard to install a door."

"Mom and Dad will notice a new attic door."

Mabel glanced at him in amusement. "Mom and Dad haven't noticed there's a patch of paint on the living room ceiling that doesn't quite match the rest. I don't think they'll notice the door's a different shade of brown and has a new knob."

"Fair point. Okay. Let's go door shopping. Which is probably something no other thirteen-year-old does. But first, we have to clean up the mess."

"I call the vacuum!" cheered Mabel, hurrying off to collect the object.

"Don't suck up the curtains this time!"

To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)

From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)

Subject: Door didn't survive

1 Attachment (Photo File)

Managed to rescue Mabel from our evil attic. On the bright side she found an old functional laptop I could use later for an experiment or something. We couldn't save the door, but it's for the best. This is what happened to it afterwards.

See all messages in this thread (Expand)

Grunkle Ford: You certainly did a number on it, Dipper.

Grunkle Stan: Looks like all that work I made you do with the axe paid off.

Dipper Pines: We don't own an axe, so I used a crowbar to get the door off. But yeah, all the wood chopping you forced me to do totally helped me out.

Wendy Corduroy: You did that with a crowbar? What, did you just wail on it?

Soos Ramirez: Dude, that sounds like fun.

Mabel Pines: Dang I wish I thought of that. It's not often we get to bash things with tools.

Dipper Pines: It was so old it broke when it hit the floor.

Grunkle Stan: That's showing it whose boss.

Mabel Pines: Now we just have one more thing to take care of.

Grunkle Ford: What's that?

Dipper Pines: I don't suppose any of you know how to install a door?

[angelsandemons]

So it’s offically been about a year since I started this blog. I joined this fandom near the end of the show, so I’ve seen a lot of people come and go, but BOY did I not expect to get this fair. Even if things are slowing down now, I have an unreal 959 followers, several of whom are still active. And I plan to continue to be one of them, I ain’t going anywhere.  I’ve met SO many lovely people over the past year, I couldn’t possible begin to cover it all in a single post.

However...

There are some members of this fandom that have made an especially big impact on me. You guys have been a joy, an inspiration, and a pleasure to interact with both IC and OOC, so I want to say a few words about each of you now in one big, disgustingly mushy post.

What Dying Fandom? I Don’t See A Dying Fandom Look At These

@mynameisdopper: Compared to many on this list, I’ve known you for a relatively short time, but I already feel as close to you as I do most of my long-time friends. I love talking with you almost every day IC and OOC, I love the thought and insight you give your characters, including ones in other fandoms like @conniethejam and @rosefquartz, and I love the skill you put into your replies. And even despite that innate talent, you NEVER stop striving to improve. You also have a sense of humor that matches mine almost exactly, and that’s something I’ve learned not to take for granted over the years. But most of all, you have a heart of gold, all jokes aside, and I know you are going to do great things. I know you already have.

@pine-dexter: I still can’t believe it took me so long to find you, but every moment since has been a treat. I love hearing your take on Ford, I love exploring post-show scenarios and post-show AUs with you, and I love indulging extensively in our trashy ship together, be it via IM RP or simply exchanging horrible fanfics we’ve found. And of course, on the occasion we DO get to thread together, that’s always a pleasure. We need to do it more.

@llamanorthwest: You might be the youngest member in this section (not in terms of your actual biological age, but in regards to how long I’ve known you), but I’ve gotta say: I had high hopes for you because of our mutual friends, and you STILL surpassed them. Your take on Pacifica is really interesting, and your writing for her is a CONSISTENT joy. I’m still over the moon that you were willing to explore the LTOLOXA AU with me, and that you seem to get just what I’m going for with Bill.  Not to mention I love the art you draw for it, it gives me life. I can’t wait to RP more with you in the future. 

@widdleolgideongleeful​ as well as @leavethattomabel​: Your Gideon is top notch in all the ways, and you’ve gone above and beyond the source material in a way all roleplayers should aspire to. You’ve kept him IC while still adding a unique flare of your own, and it never fails to entertain. Your passion is contagious, and constantly fuels my drive to continue improving and exploring my own character in new and exciting ways. The same is true for your Mabel, but I’ve gotta say, like to be REAL honest with you here...your Mabel has taught me something else too. This is gonna sound kinda mean (hey you already knew I was a bitch), but the other big lesson your Mabel has taught me is to never judge a book by its cover. When I first came across your Mabel blog, I was THAT roleplayer: I saw your layout, I saw your huge icons, and I thought “this is someone who only kind of knows what they are doing, but ehh I guess I’ll give it a shot”. In time, of course, I discovered you were an EXCEPTIONAL roleplayer, and most if not all your design choices were very purposeful, especially on your blog layout. And rightfully so: I mean it DOES look like a blog Mabel would make. Finally, portrayals aside, you are often a joy to discuss things OOCly with, be it GF related or something in RL, you always carry that unique insight with you in whatever you do.

@flannelandchill​: Wendy can be a surprisingly hard character to nail down, if only because she’s very much portrayed from Dipper’s perspective in the show, and that’s an obviously skewed view. But when I read your writing for her, I don’t JUST see the super cool redhead (though that certainly is still there), I see the side of Wendy only briefly shown in canon: a girl who is stressed just like the rest of us. And I love, love, LOVE how you work those two together so seamlessly. I look forward to all our interactions, always, and your appreciation for my portrayal never goes unnoticed. Please continue to stroke my ego.

@captivatinginnocence​: From the very beginning, I could hear Mabel’s voice in your writing loud and clear. You have a masterful command of her tone and characterization, and you carry that to places I’ve never seen other Mabel RPers go. Seriously, do you know ANYONE else who explores her later years in life to the extent you do? As if that wasn’t enough, you are an AMAZING artist, and a very generous one too. I treasure each and every “doodle” you send my way, and love the care and effort you put into every aspect of your character. It’s always a pleasure to write with you, even if I might take a while to reply sometimes. Same goes for OOC convos about life too! And I’m super thrilled that you’ve decided to dip your toes into the SU fandom with @fantomshards recently too, bringing all that skill with you.

Dormant In Activity But Not In My Heart

@stanfordsixerpines: As my first Ford on this blog, you will always have a special place in my heart. Back when I still had a lot of shame about this billford ship, you were ready and willing to jump in the deep end with me, and never looked back. I love everything we’ve done together, and look forward to anything we might do again in the future.

@hillbillyisms​ as well as @stan-punches​, @soosquestion​, and a bunch of others honestly and every single one is worth a follow becasue this mun writes em: You are perhaps the oldest friend have on here, considering I met you back when I first started on Tumblr in the Legend of Korra fandom, and we are still in occasional contact. We’ve always been so in sync, to the point that the LoK fandom legit thought we were the same person for a while, and I still feel that connection with you now. Although you might not think yourself a success story, I have and will always see you as a victor over the massive shitstorm life has thrown at her, someone who came out a writer in all the ways, despite all the odds. And you continue fighting every day, all the while never falling short in the quality you produce, even if it has understandable lulls in output. You’re always worth the wait, and I’ll always be here ready to pick up where we left off.

@sweatersandsprinkles​: We’ve RPed quite a bit in my post-show verses, and have always talked very extensively OOC about new and exciting possibilities. I love the relationship our muses have formed with each other, and I love the darker directions you are willing to take those interactions without sacrificing the fluff. You are a constant reminder that one doesn’t HAVE to choose between cute and dark, you can have a weird medium. And isn’t that what RPing Bill is all about?

@illusionare​: Unicorn, most of your muses I know of are just as much a majestic bastard as your name implies (except for Mickey Mouse wtf), but YOU are a SWEETHEART. You are one of the few users on this website I would honestly unironically call senpai. You’ve been an inspiration to me ever since I followed you on @desbearer, and you continue to be as you come out of every hardship in your life a little brighter than you were when you went in. Both in real life struggles and roleplay ventures, you constantly make me think “well if she can do it, why not me?” You are an unapologetic meme, artist, and writer – a true gift to us all. Never forget that. And even though your Bill might be on the inactive list here, the little interaction we DID have helped me get over one of my biggest irrational fears: interacting with other quality Bill Ciphers. And we both know you have an unwavering dedication to your murder bear, so that’s pretty awesome.

The Cross-Fandom Treasures I Never Expected

@sandsofchaos​: Never did I ever think I’d find such a perfect match for Bill, dare I say MORE perfect than my in-fantom OTP.  I mean go figure it’s chaos herself, right? I don’t think I’ve ever had this deep a relationship with another muse outside the fandom I roleplay in, and I love every second of it.  As a mun, you are probably the other one on this list I can unironically call senpai, because I really truly look up to just about everything you do. Your writing is top notch ALL the time, and your dedication to your character despite an obvious lack of fandom is a constant reminder to me that all you need is a vision and a passion. In real life too, you’re an inspiration to me; whatever you might think of yourself, I see you as a successful woman I hope to be as I continue my life, and it’s a blessing to see first hand that I don’t need to give up roleplaying to do that.

@yellingmetatron​: We don’t talk AS much OOC, but you still need to be on this list because your character absolutely floors me, both in concept and execution. Like with Eris, this is a relationship I never would have dreamed of my Bill muse having, but it just fits SO WELL. Your dedication is inspiring, and again, even though we haven’t talked a great deal OOC, you’ve privately helped me work through some pretty difficult questions early on regarding my portrayal of Bill, and I’m forever grateful for that.

@familiarfortunefox: I’ve asked it before and I’ll ask it again: how do you make a quality RP blog for a fandomless wolf with no powers or special abilities, except maybe speech? It’s such a mundane concept, a lost cause, and yet you’ve tackled it anyway with great success. And the fact that you revived it just to RP with my human Bill? I’m still not over it. You’re also the first blog in literally YEARS that I have actively enjoy the autoplay for, so kudos for your taste there. I know I’ve been slacking on our roleplays, but know that you are in my thoughts nonetheless.

@thecaptainofcrunch​: Technically this is the same mun as the afore mentioned Dipper, but since I have a specific unholy cross-fandom ship with this FUCKING CEREAL MASCOT, I felt the need to mention it here. You are a meme Dean, a fucking meme, and I hate you for getting me to ship this. 

Now these were just some super special people that have had a special impact on me and/or this blog in particular.  This ISN’T an all-inclusive list of roleplayers I love and adore. But as you can see, this thing has already gotten PRETTY freaking long, so just know that if you aren’t on here, I still love you.

Although...

There are some RECENT arrivals I want to give a quick shout-out to because I got my eyes on you. I know what quality l👀ks like when I see it. Call me.

@tadsthename, @mystcriiious, @bruiiser​

And that’s about it! Oh, but one more thing: although this isn’t someone I’ve RPed with on this blog very much, she IS a big part of the reason I finally checked out Gravity Falls at all a little over a year ago, so a quick shoutout to @marelapis as well.