#I know she’s angry and cranky for anyone but my husband and I she can be so sweet

[hafwen]

Ollie’s injury is healing so well. She has a scab and there’s absolutely no heat or redness

I still feel incredibly guilty. I wasn’t petting her because I felt so guilty but she climb up onto the bed and climbed into my chest and meatloafed

[thefearedashantis]

Garlic Toast and Bloody Noses

Pairing: Sirius Black x SAHM! Reader (stay at home mom)

Summary: Your eldest daughter got in trouble at school and Sirius is livid.

Word count: 3.1K

Warning: None (if you think it needs one lmk)

Emmerson is cranky, per usual. You weren’t sure how long a two-year-old could cry before tiring themselves out, but he was surely going for the record.

Nothing you did soothed him. Rocking, singing, a stroll around the block. He didn’t want to eat. He didn’t want to play. He didn’t want to sleep. The reasoning for his upset was simple enough. One you’d figured out shortly after he was born.

He hated you. Detested. Loathed. Abhorred. As much as the very idea broke your heart.

From the moment he took his first breathe he despised your very presence. Would absolutely scream his little head off until Sirius, or anyone really, rescued him from your grasp. Only then from the comfort of his fathers’ arms would he calm, then turn back to stare at you accusingly with watery eyes.

Well, his father wasn’t home at the moment, and you stare at the clock praying for the minutes to go by quicker. School and extracurricular activities having ended, Sirius and your other two children should be walking through the front door any second.

Your husband would enter your home silently, tuckered out from a long day. He’d take off his shoes and hang up his coat. Round the couch and lean down to peck you gently at the corner of your lips before prying your son from your arms. Wrestling his fat hands loose of your hair which he never failed to get an ironclad grip on. Then you’d stow away in the bathroom for a few quiet minutes after saying hello to your girls. Just to give yourself a little pep talk and allow the headache pulsing behind your eyes to recede. Give yourself some much-needed reassurance that this behaviour couldn’t last forever. At some point he’d warm up to you.

He had to, right?

You’re wretched from your thoughts at the slam of the front door. Followed by a gust of air whisking by you where you were slumped in the living room, thunderous footsteps banging up the stairs. Another door slams in the distance.

From the brief glimpse at the back of a muddy soccer uniform you know it must be Amelia, and that fact has you up on your feet in a panic. Because just as your youngest scorned your existence your eldest adored you. If she wasn’t at school she was virtually glued to your hip. She would never come home without stopping to throw herself at you like you’d been apart for an eternity.

Something was wrong.

You’ve barely placed Emmy into his playpen, a rigorous tussle, and taken a step into the hall when a small body crashes into your middle. Your kindergartner. Backpack, coat and shoes still on.

“Mom!”

“Claire!” you try to match her enthusiasm.

“I’m hungry” she mumbles against your stomach, arms squeezing you tight.

“I made your favourite snack. It’s on the counter for you.”

Sirius appears in the archway just as Claire scurries away. He’s in a flurry, making long strides in the direction of the stairs without so much as acknowledging you. “You get back down here right now young lady!” His voice all but shakes the house, sending your heart scuttling into your throat. Sirius never raises his voice, especially not when angry. Sirius was hardly ever angry to begin with.

Your hand shoots out to grab at him before he can get too far, pulling him to a harsh stop. “Whoa, whoa whoa! What’s going on?”

“Lia got in a fight at school!” Claire calls from the kitchen.

And he’s teetering on you, trying to get you to let him go.

“What? Why didn’t you call me? What’s happened, is she alright?”

“I’d say she’s doing better than Isaac!” Now he’s moving, circling to the other end of the room, dragging you along with him. “I mean parents trust me to look after and teach their children! How does it seem when I can’t even discipline my own? She’s old enough to know not to hit others!”

Sirius was the music teacher at the local elementary school. The one both of your daughters attended. That being the case he usually handled anything pertaining to the girls while on the premises.  Didn’t mean you were out of the loop however. If one got so much as a scratch on the playground you were sent a text about it. For the entire day to have elapsed without him informing you on what had happened was odd.

“Sirius” you release his arm in favour of his face, rubbing at the space between his nape and ear in a manner you knew he found soothing “Honey, I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation.”

But your attempts to pacify him prove worthless when his roaming eyes finally snap to yours with a steely coldness that has a chill running up your spine. You see none of the sticky affection you’re accustomed to within them. Nothing but distaste. There was no questioning Emmy’ parentage with that gaze.

“I told you the haircut wasn’t a good idea.”

Haircut? Was he still upset about that all these weeks later?

“What’s her hair have to do with anything?”

His eyes roll so hard you fear they’ll be lost in the back of his head. He shakes out of your hold. “Because you undermine me with every little thing when it comes to her! I try to put my foot down and you immediately slag it off!”

“It’s her hair Sirius. She wanted it short and you couldn’t give a good enough reason why she shouldn’t be allowed to have it that way.”

Emmy has finally gone quiet in his play pen. Standing and peeking over the edges at the two of you, gaze flitting back and forth like a ping pong ball whenever someone speaks. Probably wondering why his beloved father hasn’t come to pick him up yet.

“Because she looks like a boy!” Sirius throws his hands up, looking to the sky for some sort of backup he would not be receiving. “She already dresses like a boy, you’ve let her chop all her hair off and now she’s running around getting into trouble like some little delinquent!” With every word his face gets more and more red, voice trembling with raging effort.

You can’t seem to find anything to say for a long moment, just watching him breathe in and out in desperate rags. A minute passes, then two. When he manages to catch his breath and stumble over to the couch you follow closely behind. Leaning down near his ear so you won’t have to speak above a whisper.

“First of all Black, I don’t know who you’re speaking to in that tone but I suggest you check it, right now. Her hair and the way she dresses are nobody’s business but her own and they don’t make her a boy.” The fact those words could even leave his mouth after the childhood he had baffled you “And second I think you should stop and reevaluate the way you talk about your daughter, especially while she’s right upstairs to hear you.”

He turns his head. You’re so far into his space that your noses almost brush but you don’t back away. You would always stand firm when it came to your children. The one’s you two created and set out to raise together in the loving and supporting environment neither of you had gotten growing up.

 “Are you guys arguing?”

You straighten up at the squeak of Claire’s question. She stands behind the couch with a slight frown on her round face. Her snack of garlic toast held between two hands.

“No darling of course not,” a smile splits your expression for good measure “why don’t you come with me to check on Lia while Daddy says hello to Emmy hm?”

Claire is not convinced “sounded like arguing.”

You’re at the base of the stairs, swatting the girl up them, when Sirius calls back in a very small manner “I’m sorry.”

He appears more like himself now, the love of your life. Thin, long limbed, warm eyes with a hint of melancholy. Deflated of his anger and replenished with his token skittish composure.

“When I come back there will be no more yelling.”

He nods, and you’re off to discover the root of this grand affair.

Claire stands outside of Lia’ closed door when you arrive. Shifting from foot to foot as if nervous to go in. You reach over her and rap on the sticker covered wood with a firm knuckle. There’s no answer but you turn the knob and enter anyway.

The room is dark, lights off and curtains drawn. The only illumination comes from the device set up on the bedside table that projects stars and planets onto the ceiling. A balled-up form rests in the very corner of the bed, back to you, arms slung over the head.

“Is she crying?” Claire whispers. Well, her version of whispering. Which was just her regular speaking volume but slower.

“No.” Lia grinds out. She twists herself around so you can see her face. She wasn’t crying but she surely had been if the red of her eyes were evidence enough.

You make your way over to the bed, posting yourself up against the headboard. Claire opts to sit at the bottom, gazing up at the light show.

“Want to tell me what happened at school today?”

“Can I sit in your lap?”

Despite the circumstances a warm fuzzy feeling seeps throughout your chest, always happy to indulge in some physical affection. Lia is still quite small for her age. She crawls over your legs and slots her body against yours, burrowing as close as she can manage, sticking her nose into the material of your shirt and inhaling deeply. Her dark hair tickles your face. Not long enough for a scrunchy and too short for much other styling. It sticks up in amusing ends from sweat.

Claire must feel left out because she wraps a crummy hand around your socked foot.

“Daddy’s disappointed in me,” her voice is hoarse and wobbly. She keeps her eyes shut tight while speaking, nose scrunched.

“He’s not, he’s just…unsettled, stressed maybe.”

“Is there a difference?”

To an eight-year-old there might not be.

“Daddy was yelling” comes a whisper snaking up from the end of the bed.

“Be quiet Claire!” Lia tries to shoo the younger girl out of her room but she refuses to go.

“Loudly.” She continues “His face was all red.”

You fight a giggle “Eat your bread Claire bear.”

“Furious” she finishes around the last mouthful of her treat. She’s always been your chatty baby, forever excited for new vocabulary words.

You return your full attention to Amelia “Tell mom what happened bug.”

She doesn’t start immediately, instead relishing in the feeling of your fingers combing through her damp hair for a while. When she does start speaking the story is much worse than you thought it would be.

The boys in class have been bothering her for the last few months.

One in particular who sits directly behind her by the name of Isaac. He is the reason, she confesses, for originally wanting to cut her hair short despite loving the lack of inches now. It was in hopes of deterring him from yanking it by handfuls.

They apparently dislike her always trying to hang around with them and not the girls. Girls belonged with girls and boys belonged with boys as it went. Not allowed to mix. Cooties too easily spread. 

They took to stuffing things down the back of her shirt. Swiping her glasses off her face. Shoving her in the lunch line. Ripping the pages out of her notebooks. Pouring glue in her chair. Scratching mean names into her desk. Cornering her during recess while the teachers were distracted and pulling her pants down in front of everyone. Because if she wouldn’t play with the girls then she must be a boy but if she was a boy then they'd need proof. 

She tried to tell her homeroom teacher when it first started but the woman didn’t believe her because Isaac is a top student and his family name stood proud on the sign outside of the new gym complex. She must have done something to him to earn such treatment.

“Did you go to your father?”

Lia shakes her head “I started to once but he just told me to try sticking with the girls more.”

“What about me? I thought we didn’t keep secrets between us.”

“You always tell me to be brave and stick up for myself if someone bothers me. I was trying to build up the courage but—” she dissolves into a low whine, struggling to finish around her tears. “I don’t think Daddy likes me.”

Claires eyebrows furrow. Up until then you didn’t think the girl had even been listening “Why would you say that!” she shouts, looking seconds away from bursting into tears herself.

You’re quick to intervene “She doesn’t mean it. Your big sister is just really sad right now.”

“No, I mean it!” Lia insists, sitting up to rub at her eyes “He doesn’t like me! He complains about everything I do!” her head bobbles from side to side as she lists “Sit more lady like. Why don’t you wear any of the dresses grandma bought you. Why don’t you do ballet instead of soccer. Why don’t you grow your hair out like the other girls. Why don’t you have any girl friends”

You take her hands into yours, they’re cold. You feel unprepared to deal with her emotions, she’s so young to even be ruminating over such things. All you want to do is ease her heartache, as her mother. An adult in her life who should have all the answers, but has no clue where to start. What would be saying too much and what would be too little. “Oh, my love, your father had a really hard time growing up with his own dad. He was really strict with him. That’s no excuse for him to take it out on you, but I know he loves you very much”

She deflates back onto your chest “Yeah, but he doesn’t like me.”

She finishes the story. 

It was recess. She was climbing up onto the monkey bars and about to go across when Isaac caught her pant leg and tried to yank them down. On instinct she went to kick him off and accidentally struck him in the face.

“I didn’t mean to break his nose. Swear.”

Never in a million years would you think her capable of intentionally hurting some. You placate her with a kiss on the forehead anyway “how about you and mom go out for a treat? Huh? Just the two of us?”

She sniffles in contemplation “Ice cream?”

“Anything you want.”

“Can I come?” Claire crawls her way up to the headboard.

“I’ll bring you back some, but Lia’s had a very bad day and that means what?”

“She needs mommy time?”

“Exactly.”

You ease said girl out of your lap gently, laying her out on the pillows, and promising to be back in five minutes. Then you’d go for her treat.

On your way out of the room you notice Claire scooting closer. She sticks her pointer finger right in her sisters’ face. “Your eyes are puffy.”

The aggravated “Claire!” follows you down the stairs.

In the living room Sirius and Emmy sit in comfortable silence, your husband bouncing the now cheerful baby on his knee. His neck nearly snaps at your approach. Eyes already glassy with regret.

“Is she terribly upset?”

“Heartbroken more like” you say, not bothering to sugarcoat it for him “she thinks you don’t like her.”

He lowers his head in shameful anguish when you sit beside him. “I just, she’s so much like me when I was young.” No friends his own gender. Only interested in things typically deemed non-conforming “the things I went through in school, at home, it pains me to imagine that happening to her.”

How much had she told him of the bullying you wonder and why had he kept it from you. You'd been there for so much of his own struggle that it honestly hurts your feelings that he’d allowed himself to spiral so much without seeking you out. The number of times he showed up on your doorstep in the wee hours of the morning. The cuts and bruises you’d tended, caused over simplicities like nail polish, the length of his hair, the music he listened to. The way he dressed, acted, spoke. 

 “Ok, but you can’t just force her to change who she is in the name of protecting her. Just because she isn’t the girliest girl out there doesn’t give anyone the right to bully her, not even you. All you’re doing is teaching her that being herself is not ok. Then to go and blow up on her like that. It’s confusing Sirius. You know better.”

You don't say it, wouldn’t ever go that low, but you know he’s thinking it. He’s acting like his father.

Sirius sits with your words.

“Why did she hit him then?”

“She didn’t really. He tried to pull her pants down on the playset so she kicked out. It was an accident.”

“Pull her pants down?”

A fresh wave of anger rolls over his shoulders. You snatch Emmy from his grasp before planting a kiss onto his temple.

“No more of that. Go upstairs and talk to her before we leave.”

You’d get on him later for keeping secrets from you.

Sirius returns the kiss, lingering for a few seconds too long, pressing his nose into the fat of your cheek. He smells like peppermint.

“I love you.” Her murmurs. And you’re suddenly transported back to your childhood bedroom. The sun just creeping over the horizon and spilling through your window right onto his sleeping face. The lips so like Claires’, ears and brows so like Emersons’, freckles like Amelias’.  Hovering your finger over the bridge of his nose, skimming along his throat. Blowing gently at his thick lashes. Poking at the sliver of skin peeking out at his tummy where his shirt had risen up. When you’d fall asleep with him on the floor and always wake up to his breath on the back of your neck, legs tangled in bed with you. The fit of giggles sneaking him out the house before your parents woke up. 

“Love you too. Now go!”

You’re once again left with Emmy in the exact same place you’d started. He watches Sirius take the stairs two at a time before turning back to you, frown already forming. 

“And you my little man, i love you so much.”

[ultralightpoe]

Tiktok Trouble Pt 2- Jake Seresin

Authors Note: LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE 

Word Count: 2253

Warnings: Allusions to smexy times

Description: You love pranking your husband, and tiktok loves it too

Authors Plea: Hey guys! I love likes and reblogs and I thank you all so so much. BUT I LIVE FOR COMMENTS! I really enjoy when you guys tell me what you like and dislike and what you want to see more of, so I beg for more comments. LOVE YOU ALL!

Enjoy!

The morning of your errands had started off salty with Jake, who content with bitching about everything, and you had gotten just as snippy with him considering you had been in such a good mood when you both left the house. But he had worn you down, now you were sitting in the car with your thighs sticking to his leather seats like crazy (he hated air conditioning and the heat was just clinging to you) while he ran in and grabbed what he needed from this store. 

Normally Jake would take you in with him, but today he made a snippy comment about not wanting to be in there forever so you rolled your eyes and turned the music up as he got out, cracking the windows like you were a dog. 

It’s here you got the idea.

You had taken a break from posting pranks on tiktok, your guys’ sink had actually busted (Jake was so happy he watched the videos) and one of his old navy brothers had lost their lives so you both had flown out for the funeral. After that everything just seemed to be too busy, and Jakes mood was ever so cranky as of late. But today seemed like a good day to try and lighten the mood. So you set up your phone and waited, once you saw him come out of the store you began fighting something in the backseat. 

Jake, as first, seems to think you are looking for something and when he gets into the car he slaps your thigh lightly. “What’d you lose?”

“NOTHING! BUT THIS BITCH HAS LOST HER MIND!” You snap and start swinging at an imaginary figure in the back. Jake stops and stares at you, leaning against his door as he tries to figure out what is going on while you act out a very angry fight. 

“What. Is. Happening?”

“Bubs, she’s running her fucking mouth to me right now- seriously? No YOUR MOM-” You are about to swing at the air again and he catches your hand, pulling you back and reaching to feel your forehead. 

“We should get you some water-”

“Mind your fucking business!” You shout to the back and your husband nods aggressively and turns to the back to snap out a ‘bitch’ before turning to you and moving to buckle you in. 

“You tell her. You tell that….bitch?” He really doesn’t seem to know what to do, so he simply buckles you and reaches for the water bottle he brought, that’s when he sees your phone. “Oh for the love of-”

You’re laughing your ass off and he’s covering his face as you turn off the video. “Really?! I was so confused!”

“I’m sorry. You were being such a sourpuss this morning and I HAD TO!” You laugh, kissing his elbow as he continues rubbing his face.  “Love you bubs.”

“I love you too. Even when I think you’re batshit crazy.”

—------------------------

COMMENTS:

“The thigh slap- PLEASE LORD I’LL BE GOOD-”

“LMAO, when he finally just gives in and helps”

“SNSJKSJJANNX X I WANT THEM BOTH! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!”

“Y/n has now proven she can fight anyone that tries to take her man”

—-----------------------

“Sugar?!” Jake calls from the bottom of the stairs, tapping his foot a little impatiently as he waits for your response. You, being the perfect wife who would never do anything wrong in her life ever, closed out the webpage of adoptable dogs that your husband specifically said no to and ran to the stairs. 

“Yeah bubs? What’s up?” You smile, watching his face morph into suspicion. 

“Didn’t like that one bit- but I need to run to the store and figure out what pipes match our sink. You’ll be okay here?”

“Will I be okay in the air conditioned house with my handsome husband out going to get stuff for our sink? All lonely and sad and ever so hor-”

“Okay okay, just gimme a kiss.” He laughs, waiting for you to run down the stairs and kiss him before you get an idea and run back up the stairs as he leaves. 

You snatch your phone and film a quick video of him getting into the car before screen recording yourself texting him ‘Come over he just left’ once you are sure he’s down the block.  Then you wait, until you hear a sharp screech and see his car zooming into the driveway. You set up your phone to record on his dresser and run to your shared bathroom as he books it up the stairs. 

“Y/n?” He asks when he reaches the bedroom, looking nothing less of pissed. 

“Yeah bubs? I thought you were going out?” You call from the bathroom, fixing your hair as you waited. 

“I decided that you broke the sink and should come with me.” He says sternly, crossing his arms and leaning on your dresser, the camera catching his jaw flex perfectly.  You swing the door open with wide eyes looking nothing less than excited. 

“Can we stop for pops?” You know he loves when you say pops instead of soda, and he tries not to smile. 

“As soon as you tell me what dumbass you were trying to sleep with in OUR BED.” He snaps, giving you a tight lipped smile with his arms still crossed. 

“Ohhhh yeah…. About that….” You smile, pointing to the camera and watching his face relax instantly. “Say hi to your fans bubs-”

“Are you trying to kill me?” He laughs, pulling you in to kiss you before standing up and walking to the door. “Grab your phone and purse. You’re still coming with me.”

—--------------------

COMMENTS:

“Girl, he’s MILITARY. Are you trying to get hit?”

– “STFU, that man does not hit woman unless they ask. Watch their other vids”

“The way his arms flex when he crosses them. I see now why she likes pissing him off.”

“They f***ed in the car. FOR SURE”

—--------------------

Before Jake got home from work you had hot glued the olive jar while taping it, then started cooking dinner while you waited. When you heard the sound of his keys in the door you started filming, leaving your phone on the table as you moved back to the stove. 

“Evenin’ Sugar.” He smiles, moving to you and kissing your shoulder as you move a cheek to him so he can kiss that as well. “Whatcha makin’?”

“Your in a good mood, that southern drawl comes out when you are.” You smile, watching him set his keys on the counter and reach across you to steal a green bean.

“Watched Rooster do 100 pushups.” He laughs before wrapping his arms around you. “What time do your parents get here?”

“About an hour- can you open that jar for me?” You ask sweetly pointing to the jar of olives you had glued. 

“What do I get out of it?” He teases, already snatching the jar. He tugs on it once, twice, then he gets frustrated and puts all his strength into it, face pinching up as he grunts out. “You’re kidding me..”

“Can’t get it?” You ask, moving closer as he tries again, grunting and turning red. “How about you go get changed and try again when you come back?”

He nods, setting it down with a face of disbelief and allowing you to kiss his cheek before running off to change. You snatch the jar and take it to the fridge, replacing it with the jar you hadn’t glued, setting it up. When you know he is within eyepoint you grab the fresh jar and pop it open with ease. 

“WOAH BABY!” He laughs, picking you up and spinning you around. “I married she hulk.”

“It wasn’t that hard.”

“Now you’re just hurtin my feeling- HEY GOTCHA!” He spots the camera, keeping you lifted in one arm while he points at it. “You tried messing with me and I busted ya-”

“Okay okay- put me down.” You laugh, gripping his shoulder to not fall. “Bubs-”

“Nope!” He laughs, reaching for the sink hose and dousing you with it making you squeal. 

—--------------

COMMENTS:

“I think he is finally catching on”

“Making us all wet- oop”

—---------------

The next prank a whole two weeks, both of you getting busy with work and not having much time together besides sleeping, but you finally had a day off….which meant torturing your husband obviously.

You had woken up before him and gotten ready, doing your hair and makeup just the way he liked whilst picking an outfit you knew he loved before walking downstairs and putting a little heart over the date on the calendar just to fool him a little more. 

He trudged downstairs while you were on the phone with your parents, taking a second to lean on the counter and admire you while drinking the coffee you already prepared for him, wiggling his eyebrows when you turned to him while talking. 

What he didn’t know was that you were talking on a fake phone whilst yours was hidden on a shelf filming him. “Yes! I’m very excited for tonight, I think Jake is gonna try to surprise me.”

His eyebrows stop wiggling and pinch together in confusion as he pulls the cup away from his lips, mouthing a ‘what’ as you point to the calendar and then leave the room to keep ‘talking to your parents’.

Your husband looks at the calendar and sees the heart, head snapping to the side as he tries to think about what today was supposed to be. “Crap crap crap-”

The only problem came when your phone actually started ringing, drawing his attention to where it was hidden to film. “AHA!”

You laugh from the other room, knowing you were busted and the prank had failed, walking in to watch him flip the camera off and turn it off. “You haven’t been on your a game , lovely wife. I expect better.”

“Bring it on then.” You smile, enjoying the cocky smile that fills his face. 

—------------

So you upped your game, you bought a couple cameras to hide around and you thought of some great ideas. Jake Seresin was gonna regret marrying you. 

The first day he was gone on a mission you decided that instead of worrying about your husbands safety you would rather learn the WAP dance to piss him off when he gets back. The day after his return he is laying on the couch with his eyes closed (you made him tired after a long night in his defense) and you decide that you want to show him a tiktok dance.

“Okay I’m gonna set up the phone here,” You explain, leaning it against your tv before taking a couple steps back for dancing room. 

“Oh so I know where the camera is this time?” He teases, you snort and try not to look where the mini camera is hidden by his game console. 

“Just watch-” You laugh, playing the song. His eyes widen when it starts playing and then you start dancing and he is shooting up. By the time the song got to the actual WAP part he is dashing to snatch you up of the floor. 

“No ma’am.” He laughs, hanging you in the air like a dog that just got busted.

“WAIT! THERE IS MORE!” You laugh as he goes to turn the phone off. 

“Sorry Sugar but I really don’t need the squad seeing my gorgeous wife dancin’ like a stripper all over the internet. Save it for the bedroom.” He sets you down and smacks your ass harshly while laughing before he leaves the room thinking you hadn’t gotten any of that on film….sucker.

—---------------

COMMENTS:

“THE LAUGH AFTER HE SPANKED HER! STFU FNJENFJDBSB”

“LET HER FINISH THE DANCE! NOOOOO-”

—----------------

“JAKE SERESIN!” You shout, winking to the camera that was hidden in the kitchen and wait. The second you shouted with an angry tone you heard his phone drop and the sound of his feet hitting the stairs to rush to you. Once you were sure he could see you, you pretend to be angry. 

You have your arms crossed and a harsh glare as he comes into the kitchen looking like a little puppy. 

“Yes Sugar?”

“You got something you wanna tell me?” You ask, taking a step back when he takes a step for you. His eyes flash hurt and for a second you wanna tell him it’s a prank, but you double down and wait. 

“I….I uhm- well…..I forgot our anniversary?” He guesses, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. “No! Wait! I missed your families monthly dinner- no w-”

“Final answer?”

“Wait, Y/n baby, just tell me what I did. No gimme a hint.” He rushes, falling to his knees. THE MAN ACTUALLY FELL TO HIS KNEES, and grabbed at your thighs. You break then, laughing and grabbing his jaw softly. 

“Just a prank babe.” You smile, kissing his temple and he whips back to glare. 

“You know what?”

“What?”

“I’m gonna make a tiktik and start pranking you!” He seethes and you crack up, but he shakes his head. “You’re laughing now, but you just started a war sugar.”

“Bring it on Bubs.”

“Oh I will.” He flips off your phone which makes you laugh harder already knowing that the phone wasn’t recording and he kisses your cheek before walking off. 

“See you soon…..”

—--------------

COMMENTS:

H_ngman: You have been warned!

Mrs.Bagman: Bring it on!!!

Authors Plea: Hey guys! I love likes and reblogs and I thank you all so so much. BUT I LIVE FOR COMMENTS! I really enjoy when you guys tell me what you like and dislike and what you want to see more of, so I beg for more comments. LOVE YOU ALL!

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

Void of Extinction by GleefullyCaptainSwan

Chapter 8/9

Read on AO3: | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

Or on FF

Stacy's Tortured Crew: @teamhook @kmomof4 @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @itsfabianadocarmo @mariakov81 @qualitycoffeethings @zaharadessert @jrob64 @jonesfandomfanatic @natascha-ronin @tiganasummertree @xarandomdreamx @therooksshiningknight @batana54 @superchocovian @onceratheart18 @ultraluckycatnd @snowbellewells @karlyfr13s @the-darkdragonfly @xsajx @deckerstarblanche @jonesfandomfanatic

Chapter 8: Confrontation

“Just give it to me straight, Ruby, don’t go making up tales now.” The dark-haired woman chuckled defiantly from her spot on the bed in the corner of the room, the plastic walls separating her from the rest of the occupants in the room.

“It’s not good, Mum.” Ruby said softly. “It started spreading the moment it got in your blood stream. The doctors said it matches the data they have on file for J2.”

“So that’s it then.” The woman nodded resolutely before turning her attention to Emma. “Did the message make it to Merlin?”

Emma bit her lip, and her eyes met his for a moment before turning back to Mary Margaret. “Not all of it.”

“Enough?”

Emma shook her head. “I think so, I don’t know.”

“Where’s Will?”

Killian took Emma’s hand when he heard her loud exhale, knowing that the tears would be coming shortly after. “He’s next door. He uh…” She sniffled and the woman sat up in her bed.

“J2.” Ruby responded softly.

“Dammit.” The demure woman cursed. Killian sighed and pulled Emma against his chest. “So, what’s next?”

“Mum, you need to rest.” Ruby demanded.

“Oh, don’t give me that crap, Red. You know I don’t rest.”

“I contacted David.” Killian said suddenly, causing all the eyes in the room to turn toward him.

“What?” Emma asked horrified. “Why would you do that?”

Killian gestured toward the woman in the bed. “It’s his wife, he deserves to know.”

“Killian.” Mary Margaret spoke softly. “Did he…did he say anything?”

“He’s confused, doesn’t understand why you were there. I didn’t tell him much, just not to trust Regina, things aren’t what they seem, J2.” He added quietly at the end.

“He must be so angry.”

“He’s a good cop, if I know David, he’ll do some digging, figure things out.”

“You could have put him in danger.” Ruby exclaimed.

“Compared to what? We aren’t exactly on vacation here, love! We need help on the outside, Dave’s a good man.”

“He’s right. My husband followed the Mayor’s lead because he believed in what she was doing, but things have changed, she’s not who he thought she was, he’ll follow the leads, do what he thinks is right.”

In his pocket, his communicator beeped. Killian held up his hand and pulled it from his jacket. “We need to talk.” David’s voice boomed in his ear. “Now.”

“Speak of the devil, we were just talking about you.” He said light heartedly, hoping to set the man at ease.

“You aren’t listening to me. We need to meet. I want to see my wife; I have information you all need to see.”

“I can come to you…”

“No, no deals. I come to you.” He demanded and Killian sent a worrying glance in the woman’s direction as she stared at him in the bed.

Covering the device with his hand he talked softly. “He wants to come here; says he has information we need to hear.”

“No way, it’s a trap, he’s not just going to walk in here, no questions asked.”

“He’s worried about his wife.” Killian said honestly in response to Ruby.

“Go get him, follow our protocols.” Mary Margaret demanded of the dark-haired woman who opened her mouth to protest and then stormed out of the room.

“We’re sending one of ours to the wall. Meet her there and follow her rules or else you don’t come, Mate.”

“Fine.” He paused. “Can you tell my wife…” Killian glanced at the woman on the bed, her face pale. “Tell her that I love her.”

“Aye, Mate.” The line went dead. “He’ll meet her at the wall.”

“Thank you.” She said with a nod.

“He said to tell you that he loves you.” The woman smiled sadly as Killian took his leave from the room, Emma following him closely behind. The moment she stepped from the room; she entered the one directly beside it that held the critically ill, Will Scarlet. She nodded to him, and he watched as she closed the door behind her. He wasn’t sure how they were going to get through all of this, he only hoped that whatever David needed to speak to them about didn’t bring about more sorrow and despair.

~*~

“There’s my girl.” Will said weakly when she entered the room.

“Hey.” Emma breathed nervously. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got stabbed and injected with a plague there’s no cure for.”

Emma frowned in anger. “That’s not funny.”

He coughed. “I ‘spose not, but what else you gonna do?”

“I hate you.”

“You love me, don’t even try to deny it.”

“What are we going to do?” She cried.

“Don’t cry Emmie.”

“I can’t lose you.”

“Oi, I’m too cranky to die, I’m gonna be around long enough to embarrass Henry when he dates his first lass, or watch you marry that gent out there that can’t keep his bloody hands off ya.” Emma couldn’t stop her laughter no matter how much she just wanted to cry. “So, what’s the plan?” He asked, as she sat down in the chair across the room.

“Ruby left to bring David here, he says he has something we need to see; I don’t know. I can’t help but feel like it’s a trap, but Killian trusts him.”

“Not like we have any other brilliant plans, eh. I guess we work with what we got.” He coughed again, blood forming at the ends of his mouth as he wiped it away with his hand. “Hey, I’m fine. Really.” He tried to reassure her.

“You know I can tell when you’re lying.” She teased as the door beside her opened and Killian stepped into the room, announcing David’s arrival.

“Good, give ‘er someone else to harass.” Will joked as she stood from her seat.

“I’ll be back soon.” She promised, trying to smile as she left the room. When the door shut, Killian stopped her by placing a hand on her forearm.

“Are you alright love?”

“Of course, I’m not. My best friend is dying, I have no idea if the message I sent reached Merlin, if all of this has been for nothing, and I am honestly running out of reasons to have even a sliver of hope.” His finger brushed against her forehead, the tickle of her hair tingling against her skin.

“If the message didn’t go through, we’ll find another way,” He laced her fingers with hers, “together. But you don’t give up, not my Emma.”

A warm feeling filled her heart as his blue eyes stared back at her. She wanted to curl into his arms and believe that there was still a chance for them to win, but knowing Will was laying behind the door, dying a slow painful death, overtook any feelings of hope that tried to grow roots within her.

Killian wrapped her in his arms, and Emma melted against him, enjoying the moment of stillness and peace they had been afforded. On the other end of the hall, she heard a commotion and the sea of people parted as Ruby waked through the center. Emma withdrew from Killian and motioned to the end of the hall.

David strode toward them, a look of apprehension in his eyes as he settled them on Killian. “Where’s my wife?” He demanded as he reached them.

Killian and Emma exchanged a glance. “We need to talk, Mate.”

“I’ll talk after you take me to my wife.”

“Aye, this way.” He turned and opened the door, leading David into the room that housed Mary Margaret.

Emma stood at the back of the room as the man hesitantly approached his wife, a look of fear in his eyes. “Why would you do this?” His voice was shaking as he spoke.

“David…” She paused, as if she were rethinking her response. “I did what I thought was right.”

He hung his head. “Perhaps you were right.” He turned and looked at Killian. “I had questions.” Reaching into his jacket he pulled out a folder. “Things weren’t making sense. So, I did some digging.”

“Gold?”

“I followed the money. It all leads back to him, all the transactions into the Mayor’s office, research money for the Gold Collective, military operations. Money that shouldn’t be there, man.”

Killian glanced at Emma. “It’s all Hive.”

“That’s not all I found.” He almost whispered. “I saw the message to Merlin.” He turned and looked at Emma. “Of course, I had to do a search on Emma Swan. Grew up outside the walls of Storybrooke, came to town at age 14, lived on the streets for a few years until you found your payday in Neal Cassidy.”

Emma grunted. “Trust me, I didn’t want his money.”

“Did he know about your run in with J2?” Everyone turned and looked at her.

“No. His father was so interested in testing people, his search for answers seemed to have nothing to do with wanting to help people. I couldn’t trust anyone.”

“When did you know you were sick?” David asked.

“I got sick when I was 16, I had a place on the docks where others gathered at night to stay warm. A few of them got sick that winter, they didn’t last more than a few days before they were pulled from the streets, their bodies drained of life. When the fever came, I resigned myself to death. I got picked up in a sweep, they took me to a hospital for treatment. But after a few days I got better. The doctors started asking questions, I got nervous, so I ran.”

“Your blood work is in the system.” David said, opening the folder in his hands. “It was housed in one of Regina’s databases, looks like Gold flagged the information about 4 months ago.”

“That was right after I took off.”

“That’s not all they found. See I thought finding someone who had survived J2, a plague with zero cure, was a miracle, but imagine my surprise when I found you aren’t the only one.”

Emma shook her head. “There’s someone else who survived?”

David looked at Killian. “Did you know?”

“Know what, Mate?”

David handed him the folder and Killian stared at the pages in front of him. He flipped the page in his hand, his eyes wide. “This doesn’t make any sense.”

“What is it?” Emma asked.

“Medical records.” David answered. “Killian’s medical records, to be more specific. His bloodwork shows he had J2.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, the only time I’ve ever even been sick was when I was young. That was years before the plague.”

David turned back toward his wife, “Don’t you get it. They both carry the gene that can fight off J2.”

“What good does that do?” Killian asked.

“I don’t know, but we need to find out. Maybe they can use your blood somehow to save my wife, to save everyone.” He turned back to her, a look of desperation on his face. “Maybe if we take your blood and Killian’s blood, maybe together, together it means something.”

She paused, staring at the man in front of her and then looking at Killian. “Henry.” She said suddenly.

“He’s sleeping, love.” Killian responded.

“No, Henry is the key.” She rushed to the door and then turned back to look at Killian. “I know I said we needed to talk, and this is really not the way I wanted to do this, but…” He narrowed his eyes. “Henry isn’t Neal’s. He’s yours.” She blurted out.

“What?”

“I…I didn’t know, not until he was born. I thought he was Neal’s. We had been apart for a month when I found out, but I was so stressed out, I wasn’t thinking. When he came early, I thought it was because of the stress, but then I held him, and he opened those beautiful blue eyes, and I knew, I knew he was yours.”

“Henry’s my son?” His voice cracked and tears sprung in her eyes, she stepped back toward him and pressed her hand to his cheek.

“Henry has your blood and mine. What if…” His eyes sparkled as he stared at her. “What if he has been the answer this whole time?”

Suddenly Killian’s entire face crumbled in anger, he reached forward and grabbed Emma, pulling her toward him as she tried to understand what was happening. Then she heard a voice that made her entire body tense.

“Hello, dearie.”

~*~

Killian didn’t have a moment to deconstruct the information he had learned from Emma before Gold and his son appeared in the open door. Killian had only seconds to react, pulling Emma toward him, protecting her from the man who had caused all of her fear.

“And where is that grandson of mine?”

“You stay the hell away from him.” Emma yelled and Neal stepped toward her.

“You took him away from me.” He reached out, touching her hair as she slapped his hand away from her face. Before he could react, Neal’s fist had drawn back and made contact with Emma’s cheek. Killian stepped forward, grabbing Neal by the collar, and yanking him toward him. The man cowered for a moment before Killian heard the click of a gun and Emma’s shrill. Killian could see Gold standing next to Emma, a gun to her head. He released Neal reluctantly, holding his hands in front of him.

“Just saying, a gentleman never strikes a lady, perhaps you should have raised him with better manners.” He said with a shrug, looking over at Neal with disdain.

“Children have always been such a disappointment.” The man growled and Neal stumbled backward to step away from the group. “So, let’s change that today. Where’s the boy?” Killian glared at the man, no one in the room saying a word. “Regina.” He called out and the woman appeared in the doorway. “Bring me the brat.”

Emma shrilled as the woman left the room, setting off to search for their son.

Their son.

His son.

He had a son with Emma. He couldn’t think about that right now, right now they just needed to survive.

He caught David’s eye as the man stood on the other side of the room. Nodding his head, he stepped closer to the door as David reached behind himself, pulling the gun he always kept at his back. Things moved suddenly the moment the gun came into view. Gold twisted quickly and Emma used her shoulder to shove the older man to the ground at the exact moment that Killian rushed Neal.

The two men crashed through the open-door frame into the hallway. Killian used the man’s surprise to his advantage, punching him square in the nose before he could get his bearings.

“Killian…” He looked up to see Ruby at the other end of the hall.

“Save Henry.” He screamed, continuing his assault against the man on the ground in front of him. Ruby ran down the hall toward the rooms where Henry was sleeping. Neal watched as she ran, a sudden kick to the side causing him to lose his balance as Neal scrambled away from him.

Killian took one look into the room, watching Emma rushing at Gold, as David was shoved into the wall. He had to trust that they would be ok, he needed to get to Henry before Neal. Standing up he gave chase after the man as he ran in the direction that Ruby had disappeared.

When he reached Henry’s room, the door was open. Ducking into the room, he rushed to the bed to find it empty. Turning around he saw Ruby laying on the ground behind the door. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he lifted her off the ground as her eyes flew open. “Henry.” She exhaled.

“Where’s Henry?”

“Neal…he took him.” Killian leaned her against the wall. “Go, I’m fine. I’m right behind you.”

Killian rushed back into the hall, looking up and down to determine which way Neal would have gone. He heard a clattering at one end of the hall and ran quickly after it. He pushed through the door of the stairwell and began climbing, praying with each step that he would find his son at the top.

When he breached the door, the light flooded his eyes as he rushed into the room, the water swirling through the boat dock. He spotted movement near the boat and yelled.

“Neal.”

The man stilled his movement, spinning around with the boy in his arms.

~*~

The cane came crashing down against her arm and Emma grabbed ahold of the wooden stick, yanking it forward as the man tumbled to the ground beside her. Emma took advantage of his imbalance and climbed onto his chest, holding the wooden cane against his neck, pressing it harder as the man struggled to breathe.

“Emma.” David sent her a warning from his spot on the floor on the other side of the room as he recovered from his previous entanglement with Gold.

“He can’t live.” She cried. “He’s too dangerous.”

She felt his hand on her shoulder. “That’s not for us to decide.”

Emma slowed her breathing, trying to rationalize the need to remove Gold from the playing field with her need to make him pay for everything he had caused.

“He’s not worth it, Emma.” David warned softly beside her.

“He’s dangerous.” She cried, watching as the man’s eyes widened in fear below her.

“Your son needs you.” Emma flinched, relaxing her grip on the cane as the man slowly lost consciousness. She threw the cane to the ground, falling back against the wall beside her.

“Go.” She said turning toward him. “Go find Killian and Henry.”

The man nodded, turned toward his wife, and then left the room.

“All of this, because of one man.” Mary Margaret said from her bed. “Because of greed.” She said angrily.

“I’m so sorry.” Emma said as the tears fell from her face. “You don’t deserve to die.”

“Don’t you worry about me. I have faith and so should you.”

“How can you be so positive at a time like this.” She said with a laugh, wiping her face with her hands.

“I don’t know, I guess I don’t feel like giving up just yet.”

Emma smiled, she appreciated the optimism of the woman, even if she didn’t share it. Suddenly the wind was knocked out of her, a blinding pain hitting her like a lightning bolt against her back. Before she could react she was lying face down on the cold cement, a foot pressing against her head.

“Neal said you were smart, but I think he was just blinded by a pretty face. That boy of mine is not a good judge of character.”

Emma gulped for air, choking in muffled gasps. She swung her arms, trying to grasp the man behind her, if she could just get ahold of a leg of his pants, or even a shoe. Her vision was blurring, sparkles of light flashing behind her eyes as she began to lose her fight to breathe. Her hand dropped to the ground beside her, a crashing sound vibrating in her ears.

Suddenly her airway opened, she choked, sucking in breath as her lungs filled with air. Beside her a wooden cane with a brass top fell to the ground. Emma rolled onto her back, looking up at the silhouette above her, she blinked her eyes, trying to focus as a hand was extended to her.

“I’m up here doing all this work while you take a nap, eh?”

Emma grabbed Will’s hand and pulled herself up, wrapping her arms around him. “You’re supposed to be resting.” She said with a laugh.

“And miss all the bloody fun?” Will teased before coughing. “Now go.” He gestured to the open door.

“I can’t leave him.”

“I think Mum and I can keep an eye on him while you save the world this time.”

“We’re going to fix this.” Emma said, looking between Mary Margaret and Will.

“Go Emma, find your boy.” The woman demanded and Emma ran out the door.

~*~

Killian stared nervously at Neal as he dangled Henry over the water. “Put the kid down, Mate. He’s innocent. You want to hurt someone, come at me.”

“You know I tried to do this the easy way, all you had to do was go on with your new life. But you just couldn’t stay away, could you?”

Henry’s face was red, the loud cries echoing in the hollow corners of the room. “Come on Neal.”

“Don’t!” He shouted. “You took everything away from me. Emma. My kid…”

“He was never yours to begin with.” Killian growled, which caused the man to twitch angrily, and Killian immediately regretted taunting him. “Please.” His voice cracked. “Just don’t hurt him.” He begged.

There was a loud crash behind him, causing Neal to step backwards closer to the water. Killian kept his eyes on the small bundle in the man’s arms, desperate to reach the child and pull him to safety. Suddenly Regina crashed through the crates behind him, landing on her back on the ground. David came rushing out after her, diving against the crumbled form.

Killian used the distraction to rush toward Neal who looked up right before he reached him. A smile grew on his face as he dangled the boy over the water, a menacing look on his face. Killian’s heart raced as his feet tripped closer to the man just as he released the boy into the dark waters below them.

“No!” Killian screamed as the bundled child fell into the icy water and sunk below the surface. He didn’t stop as he rushed past Neal, pushing him away from the edge and diving headfirst into the murky depths below.

[starsfic]

Smoke and Gold, Chapter 6: Realizing

Summary: Red and Xiaotian spend some extra time together and Xiaotian kinda comes to a realization.

AO3

Notes: CW: Periods. And I'm sorry if this feels rushed. @fosermi

-_-

Red Son was blaming the love potion for this hiccup.

His mother had been in a good mood since he had made Xiaotian disappear, her sadistic nature showing in full as Sun Wukong and the rest of Xiaotian’s friends tried to deal with his absence, including her view of Wukong going up to Heaven to try to interrogate everyone in the celestial realm to find out where his son was. (On that note, Red had recently received a very angry voicemail from Heaven that he was ignoring for a later date, very glad that Xiaotian was hidden.)

But since his father had been sealed away, she had formed a depression. Red Son had done his best to help her through it and it had gotten to the point that it only struck every so often. Like now, where she didn’t want to see his face.

And the only place he could stay was where Xiaotian was.

If his and Xiaotian’s marriage was a normal one, there would be no issue with this. Except their marriage wasn’t a regular one and their relationship wasn’t at the point where Red was ready to show his face. And that hurt and…

He grumbled, glaring at nothing in particular. He was in the parking lot of his favorite cafe, sitting in his car and munching on lunch while he considered what to do. He couldn't ask Xiaotian to wear a blindfold for however long his mother wanted him gone. It was sheer luck that he hadn't injured himself at this point-

His phone rang. Absently, Red checked the ID. If it was Heaven, he would ignore it.

It was the palace.

He pressed CALL, mind whirling. Xiaotian didn't know his number, how- " My lord?" It was the head servant. He relaxed.

"Yes?"

"Um, I'm sorry, but it seems Master Xiaotian has started his moontime."

Red blinked in confusion, mind whirling at the old-fashioned term. Then realization struck and he hissed out a curse. He hadn't thought about Xiaotian's period. He should've the moment his husband had told him he was trans.

"Has anyone hurt him?" Demons were particular to human blood, especially that variety. He started the car, mentally trying to figure out the closest pharmacy.

"No. But he's been hiding in the bathtub."

"Ask him if he prefers pads or tampons." Red started driving, tapping his finger against the wheel. On the other end, he could hear whispers.

"Pads."

Good to know. Red parked, barked a "I'll be there soon." and marched inside the pharmacy. He headed for the right section and, after a few minutes of debating, grabbing three different packs. He also grabbed some snacks before marching to the counter. The cashier- a snobby looking teen- made a face of disgust. Before he could say a word, Red glared. He shut his mouth and scanned them.

When the cashier was finished, he handed the right amount and marched out with the bag. Setting in the passenger seat, he drove to the palace.

-_-

Periods sucked.

Xiaotian was curled up in the bathtub, glaring at nothing, feeling the blood between his legs dry. This was just like the first period he had after Wukong adopted him, the Monkey King having no idea what to do. It was irritating and he was cold. And common sense told him to not go out like this, leaving him like this.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. “Uh, Master Xiaotian?”

“Yes?” he said, trying his best to not sound irritated. He probably failed but he was cranky.

“Your husband is here. Just as a warning.”

Before Xiaotian could ask questions, the bathroom went dark and the door opened and closed. He didn’t yelp, well used to the routine, but curled up tighter. They had said his husband had an important job- did he leave it because of him? “Hey,” a warm, welcome voice said. “How are you feeling?”

“...kinda sick. And tired.” He reached out blindly, feeling something warm in his chest form when a familiar hand wrapped around his hand and gave it a squeeze. “What about work?”

“Don’t worry about it. How can I help you?”

That warm feeling in Xiaotian’s chest grew as his husband set to work grabbing spare underwear and padding it for him and handed him a wet washcloth to wipe himself off with. When that was done, Red led him into the dark bedroom, passing him the snacks. For the rest of the day, he was cuddled into his side, feeling warm both in body and soul.

His period passed after a week and his husband returned to work and the routine continued on.

But, a day after the routine returned, the servants informed him that his art supplies had arrived. Xiaotian was led to a solar, gleaming and lovely and with a beautiful view of the forest. A bunch of new sheets sat next to a few large boxes. Hazarding a guess, he opened one.

The paint inside was the most expensive brand, ones he had been trying to save for years. Wukong had tried to buy them for him, but Xiaotian had refused. Now, his hands trembled as he opened the rest, finding more and more lovely and expensive supplies.

There was a note in one of them.

Don’t worry about the cost. Enjoy them.

The warm feeling returned and Xiaotian scrambled to set everything up. His cheeks were furiously warm as he worked and his heart raced as he opened the supplies.

When the sun was setting, he was covered in paint and realizing what he was experiencing.

He couldn’t help his smile.

[avatarthelastapplebottomjeans]

some Firelord Zukki headcannons !!

(some of these i got from the comments on my last firelord zukki post so credit to you guys for those ones)

for starters- can you imagine how Katara reacted?

• Sokka: “I’m dating Zuko”

• Katara: “Oh, I- wh- you broke up with Suki?”

• Sokka: “No, Suki and I are dating”

• Katara: “But you said Zuko-“

• Sokka: “Zuko’s dating Suki.”

• Katara: “but- you-“

• Sokka: “I’m dating Zuko”

• Katara: “I don’t-“

• Sokka: “we’re all dating each other”

• Katara: “ok”

• Councilman 1: Firelord Zuko, I have nothing against Lady Suki being the firelord, but it’s never been done before. no firelord in the past has ever been female

• Firelord Zuko: well, I, the Firelord, hereby decree that my wife, my husband, and I are now the Firelord.

• Councilman 1:

• Councilman 1: *turns to Councilman 2* c- can he do that?

• Councilman 2: *shrugs*

• when they first agreed that they’d all be the firelord, they had a schedule they tried to follow

• eventually they just started switching whenever they felt like it

• Firelord Zuko: *walks into the room, exhausted* anyone feel like being the firelord today

• Sokka: I’m down

• Zuko: you’re the firelord now have fun

• Firelord Sokka: lit

• Suki is better at dealing with angry councilman so they often have her attend council meetings

• Zuko explodes at them and can’t control his anger and Sokka never takes the meetings seriously anyway

• Councilman: Firelord Sokka, I mean no disrespect, but it does seem as though you aren’t taking this meeting very seriously

• Firelord Sokka: this is homophobic

• most of the time Zuko is the firelord, considering he’s the original heir to the throne and he’s actually fire nation

• a lot of the cranky older fire nation people complain about the idea of having 3 firelords

• but I mean, all it takes to convince them is to just have the 3 of them walk by

• I mean they’re so badass when they walk together- it takes a lot of power to not be intimidated by them

• Firelord Suki’s first decree was a “national pamper your wife day”

• Firelord Sokka then changed it to “national pamper your girlfriend/ wife day”

• Firelord Zuko then changed it to “national respect women day”

• to this day nobody knows what the day is called

• they still follow it though

• when they first announced they were all the firelord, everyone in the fire nation assumed they were just close friends

• it wasn’t until an interview with Firelord Suki and she referred to them as ‘her husbands’ that the fire nation realized Zukki was here and incredibly queer

• they constantly refer to each other as “Your Hotness”

• even if they aren’t serving as the firelord in that moment, they’re all ‘your hotness’ to each other

• one time a council member nearly referred to Sokka as ‘your hotness’ and he died

• Councilman: yes, your hot- highness

• Firelord Sokka: I- well thank you

• absolutely no sexism allowed

• you bet your ass Zuko and Sokka have 0 tolerance for misogyny

• Councilman: Firelord Zuko, will you be attending the council meeting tomorrow?

• Firelord Zuko: actually, Firelord Suki will be in charge of that

• Councilman: well, you see, I don’t know how I feel about the firelord being a woman

• Firelord Zuko: you just lost honor privileges

• can you imagine how powerful they would be

• like seriously

• the mental image of the three of them

• all in fully firelord clothing

• like wow

• they didn’t reveal they were all firelord right away

• it started with Zuko making gay marriage legal

• followed by Zuko introducing Sokka to the fire nation

• and then Sokka being announced firelord

• and then introducing Suki

• and then announcing her as firelord

• sometimes the council members wonder if they’re gonna suddenly introduce a new firelord

• they never do of course

• but they still wonder

• there was a lot of controversy about having two non-benders help lead the fire nation but they were determined to gain acceptance

• Councilman: Firelord Zuko, are you sure about having a water tribesman lead the nation? that’s never been done before

• Firelord Zuko: Well, I’m the Firelord, and I’m married to Sokka, so he is now also the Firelord.

• Councilman: .....well, what about the earth kingdom girl?

• Firelord Sokka, sitting cross-legged in the throne next to Zuko: I’m married to Suki, and that makes her the firelord as well.

• Councilman: I don’t- I’m not even certain that’s legal

• Firelord Suki: Keep talking and you’re doing community service

that’s all I got for now

I really like this idea so I’ll definitely be posting more later

[ahgaseda]

made of stone || chapter 14

⇥ synopsis : when you return after years apart to pursue a divorce from your husband, Mark, you fall back into a contentious relationship because your partner still refuses to give up his dangerous fighting career...

⇥ warnings : this story in its entirety includes but is not limited to strong language and dialogue, descriptions of blood and violence, alcohol or drug use, and explicit sexual content, and is intended for an adult audience only!

Sweat poured down your face and you suddenly dropped to your hands and knees, dry-heaving as your empty stomach punished you for the stress.

Jinyoung shoved a small bin under you, though he knew you wouldn’t produce anything. Jackson appeared a swift moment later and began dousing your face with cold water from the hose.

“Isn’t this too much too soon?” Bambam questioned worriedly.

Jaebum replied, “Gotta get her into shape.”

“Get up,” Jackson ordered sternly, speaking your name with force.

You shook your head, which only made you more nauseous because your head was pounding.

“This is when it gets hard,” Jinyoung reminded softly. “Push through it and remember why you’re doing this.”

Easy for him to say, you thought, but you knew he meant well and his words lingered.

Jackson turned off the hose and tossed it away, crouching down beside you and waiting patiently.

Your arms were trembling uncontrollably and you knew your body was moving past its threshold and landing somewhere into shock. Digging deep, you got back to your feet and slowly put up your fists.

Jackson mirrored your stance and sidestepped next to you, asking, “You quitting?”

“No,” you answered, voice too meek for his taste.

Jinyoung resumed his position behind the bag, holding it steady as the chains fastening it to the ceiling jingled loudly.

Jackson moved closer and yelled, “You gonna let some bitch put you down?”

Hitting the bag with your fist, you shouted, “No!”

Jackson shrugged, unimpressed. “Then show me something!”

You struck the bag with enough force to send Jinyoung off-balance. He hadn’t expected it.

Jackson smacked your ass and cheered, “There she is!”

Dropping your arms, you glanced toward a stoic Mark seated against the far wall and warned out of the corner of your mouth, “You know my husband is over there, right?”

“Pfft, you one of the boys,” Jackson retorted, sticking out his tongue like a misbehaving child that knew he would fully get away with it. “Don’t even flirt with me.”

You chuckled. The brief levity was sorely needed.

The fight would be in two weeks and it went without saying that you were more than rusty. Firstly, you had never fought in an organized event, legal or illegal. Your training stemmed from self-defense courses, a few jiu jitsu lessons, and scrapping on the street in your adolescent years. Obviously, none of those lended themselves to a career in underground fighting.

Still, you knew you were more than capable of handling the business at hand and no matter what, you had to insert yourself into this world and find the Achilles heel.

Fortunately for you, Jackson was the world’s best personal trainer. He liked to taunt and encourage... very loudly. He knew exactly how to push at your buttons to get the desired result and he was just what you needed with such a short window of preparation.

“I’m trying, Jackson,” you huffed, propping your hands on your thighs and taking a few steadying breaths after another sequence of drills.

Jackson folded his arms and crowded into your space, barking, “You gon’ let some bastard disrespect you?”

That lit a fire under your ass like nothing else. Images of Mark being bum rushed by Jong-Kook’s men made your blood boil. “Never,” you hissed.

Jinyoung braced against the bag as you pounded a combo of hits against the surface with renewed vigor. Each collision rang out in the empty gym.

All the boys were in attendance, of course. They had made comments about getting a workout in, but you knew they were here to watch you and decide if you had a fighting chance in hell.

Jackson was relentless, moving you from station to station as soon as you began to settle. Fortunately for him, you had a lot of trust (and affection) where he was concerned. Or else you probably would have clocked him by now.

Approaching Jaebum, who pulled on mitts over his hands, you took your stance and prepared for Jackson’s new set of demands.

“Start off with three hit combos,” Jackson instructed. “But alternate each time. Right-left-right, then left-right-left.”

You did as told, saying nothing. Jaebum kept the mitts raised, but you knew as you picked up speed he would start lifting and lowering them to sharpen your reflexes.

“Come on,” Jackson urged, snapping his fingers at you, because your strikes were too slow and timid. “Pick it up!”

You were tired and hungry, both of which contributed to you becoming very crabby. Grumbling, you snipped, “I’m hitting them, aren’t I?”

“Damn, where’s the enthusiasm?” Jackson exclaimed, glancing between you and your gloved hands pounding the mitts. “I hope you don’t suck your man’s dick with that energy.”

Yugyeom spat out a mouthful of water, nearly choking as Bambam tumbled off of his stool with laughter.

Even in your irritable, cranky haze, you snickered and just like that, the morale lifted again.

“Give me one more,” Jackson ordered ten minutes later.

Rising from another squat, you whined, “You said one more ten reps ago!”

Jackson replied, “I know you got more in them thighs.”

“I will crush your head like a walnut between these thighs when I’m done,” you threatened, moisture rolling down your neck.

Jackson taunted, “Do I need to get a whistle?”

Still rising and falling with the weighted bar across your shoulders, your leg muscles were screaming and your temper flared. “If you… get a whistle,” you growled between reps. “I will shove it… up your ass.”

Jackson predictably grinned from ear to ear. As long as you had that fire, he knew you weren’t at your limit.

Across the room, Jinyoung tentatively approached Mark, saying, “Should I even bother asking how you’re doing?”

“I’m not the one that has almost passed out three times,” Mark chuffed.

Jinyoung sighed. “Maybe you should go for a walk.”

“Jinyoung…” Mark warned sternly.

“We gotta feed her soon,” Jinyoung added, softening his tone. “Grab us some lunch. Please?”

Mark exhaled heavily, but he couldn’t argue with that. Rising, he nodded and shuffled through the door, making sure it slammed to a close behind him.

“I didn't think I was this out of shape,” you told Jackson, putting your hands on your waist and stretching as your relentless trainer gave you a well-earned, albeit short respite.

Jackson smarted, “Not getting laid for two years will do that.”

“Ha. Ha,” you deadpanned, glaring.

The door slammed closed in Mark’s wake as he left and you lingered your eyes where he had been. Waiting for the sound to stop echoing off of the stone walls, you whispered, “He still won’t speak to me.”

Jackson lifted a brow at your admission, but he was not the least surprised. “Can you blame him?”

Hanging your head, you eventually said, “No.”

“You left him for two years, because he fought. What will you do if he leaves?”

Somber, you blinked at the threat of tears. “At least he will be safe,” you murmured.

Jackson simpered and patted your back in comfort. Blood be damned, Mark was his brother and Jackson would fuck anyone up who dared say otherwise. Which was why he supported you with everything he had and could give. Both of you wanted to protect Mark, including from himself.

“Alright, he’s gone,” Jinyoung announced, having been watching your husband clear the parking lot.

The boys flocked around you and your brow furrowed in confusion.

“Tell them,” Jackson said, arms folding tightly across his chest.

Realizing what he meant, you groaned, “Jacks…”

“They need to know,” Jackson insisted.

A silence fell over the room and dread hung in the air. He wasn’t wrong; the others deserved to know what they were getting into with you.

Wringing your fingers, you said, “I owe Jong-Kook five fights.”

It seemed like a simple statement, but Jackson wouldn’t have gathered everyone together for that. Wary, Jinyoung prompted. “And?”

“I must win the first four.”

“Fuck me,” Jaebum groaned, running a hand down his face and turning away.

“And the fifth?” Jinyoung pressed. You had never seen him so angry, but he couldn’t believe you had done this.

Defeated, your reply was almost inaudible, “You already know.”

“Say it,” Jackson barked.

“I take a dive.”

Jinyoung grit his teeth. “Concussion, fractured skull, brain bleed...”

“You can’t tap out in shit like that,” Jaebum cut to the chase, his lips in a taut line. “They will only settle for a knockout.”

“I am aware of that,” you stated levelly.

Jinyoung insisted, “You can’t do this.”

You planted your feet and asserted, “I have to. Jong-Kook wants to make an example of Mark. And if Mark says anything, he would be talking himself into the Harbor. People don’t give a shit when kids like us go missing. You all know that.”

Silence returned, and it was grim.

“We’ll figure something out,” Jaebum spoke after a pause, somber. “You just focus on not getting hit.”

You nodded, wanting to thank him, but too on the verge of tears to say the words. One by one, the boys dispersed, the laughter and joking having all but vanished.

Only Jackson stayed at your side and once the others were out of earshot, he whispered, “Your biggest fear has always been Mark taking a hit so hard he never gets up, right?”

“Don’t…” you trailed, lips quivering.

Jackson studied you momentarily and let it go. Part of him knew you had something up your sleeve and the other part prayed day and night you would never get that far.

chapter 13 ⇤ chapter 14 ⇥ chapter 15

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[flaneuriste]

Do you have any clues as to why every single of Roger's marriages failed ?

First of all - sorry it took me so long to answer this! As you can see, I find myself driven to do bit of research in advance.  #1 Judith Trim: his childhood sweetheart; married ‘69, divorced ‘75. No children. Apparently, both were unfaithful on several occasions. Nick Mason wrote in his book that Roger got angry with him when he joined with Jude and his own first wife (Lindy) in chiding Roger for his indiscretions with groupies on the road (as Nick had been guilty of same). It’s also a common idea that Jude was unfaithful to Roger. At the end of the song “Young Lust” (The Wall), there is a sequence when a man tries to place a call to his home but the phone keeps being answered by a man, instead of his wife, supposedly an incident that happened to Roger. I’ve never read any interview where Roger confirms or denies any of this, so it’s all second hand info. What I think happened? I think Jude was a very strong woman (I think Roger by far chooses that type of woman) and wasn’t about to stand by meekly....and also, big fame & fortune is really hard on marriages. #2 Carolyne Anne Christie Married from 1976 until 1992, two children. How the hell did these two get together? Judy Trim was a VERY committed socialist and Roger has always claimed that title for himself, whereas his second wife is a member of the English aristocracy. She had two marriages prior, one to the manager of the Grateful Dead. Two songs are apparently writtern about her, one from Animals “Pigs on the Wing” and The Wall’s “Empty Spaces.” I haven’t been able to find much information but I’m going to guess that they’re just too different in their background and belief systems.  #3 Priscilla Phillips Married from 1993 until 2001, one son. I wasn’t able to find anything much on Ms. Phillips! I believe she’s American and has acted very minor parts in a couple of films. One page claimed that her friend Maryam d'Abo introduced her to Roger Waters who soon divorced his second wife to marry Pricilla. My guess: Infidelity and maybe too disparate backgrounds? I don’t really have enough to go on here.

#4 Laurie Durning Married 2012 after they had lived together for 10 years; split in 2015. The most info is out on this one, as it was the most recent and VERY acrimonious. Durning called Roger an asshole in court during a standoff over who was going to get to keep her $35,000 gold Rolex Daytona (perhaps a certain amount of symmetry given his dropping Rick Wright’s Rolex into a swimming pool?). My guess? Two volatile personalities? And she’s twenty years younger which isn’t NECESSARILY a problem, but can be.  And the latest girlfriend (since 2016): Rula Jebreal A Palestinian journalist and author who he has known for five years.Waters met Jebreal through his wife Durning, who was friends with Jebreal's now estranged husband Arthur Altschul. Altschul left his wife when he learned that she was having an affair with Water.  Okay, what I REALLY think has happened is this: Roger is the kind of person who loves to be in love. I think he starts out utterly passionate, super affectionate, a big squishy puppy dog. In romantic relationships, I think he dives in, not just with lust but with adoration.  And then, sooner or later, the bloom comes off the rose. He isn’t very adept at rolling with things, forgiving and forgetting, and the humility and confidence that’s required to keep love going through the doldrums. We all know he can be hellish cranky and I don’t think any of these women come across as sort of easy-going personalities that could balance that out.  He mentioned one time that he gets cut to the quick easily and has had big crying jags over conflicts. I feel sorry for him in lots of ways. You read comments from others he’s known about how he drives people away. He hurts other people so much but I think he desperately wants to love and be loved in return. I guess what I really think is that he never had anyone who taught him how that type of loving works. 

#Roger Waters  #Relationships

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Caramel Skin Under A Red and Green Cloud prt 5 full draft

Letting Keith sleep, Lance peeled himself out of bed when the alarm on his comms started to beep. Mumbling in his sleep, his husband was adorable. Face relaxed, black hair fanned out, a thin line of drool running from the corner of his slightly parted lips, a hand searching for him. Pushing his pillow into Keith's hold, Keith let out a happy sigh as he cuddled tightly, nose pushed up into the fabric. Dios. He was perfect. Making sure the blankets were pulled up, Lance didn't want to leave him, but the animals needed tending to, and he needed to check in at the house to make sure their teams were alright.

  Lance was freezing as he jogged down to the barn, despite wearing a long sleeve shirt, a T-shirt, and the jacket Keith was wearing the previous night, plus jeans, two pairs of socks and his boots, the weather looked miserable. Miserable weather meant getting all the animals into the barn... getting the animals into the barn meant taking even longer with the morning chores, because that was fun when he was already wishing he'd never got out of bed. Reaching the aging structure, he was quick to let himself inside the garage. If the animals were coming in, he needed to shut the split door or risk chickens escaping again. Walking over to the split door, it was already locked and chained in place

"You're slow dumb arse. Mami sent me down to help with getting the animals in"

  Screaming, Lance threw his hands up, trying to protect himself from Rachel. Lowering them cautiously, his sister rolled her eyes at him. An all weather lantern already lit and in her hold

"You're supposed to be doing the animals, remember?"

"I know I am, but what are you doing here?"

"Mami definitely dropped you on the head when you were born. She went me down to help get the animals in"

He'd heard the first time. He didn't need the annoyed drawn out sentence

"I can take care of it alone"

"Your precious husband isn't here?"

He didn't need Rachel's sass. Striding across the garage, he ignored his sister. Sure, he wanted to talk to her, but not with her being so snarky. He could hear Rachel following him to the chicken feed, gumboots weren't the stealthiest form of footwear. Continuing to ignore her, he grabbed the scoop, going for the bucket that was usually right there, only for it to be stolen away

"Rachel! I need to feed the animals"

"Just give it here. Go let the cows in or something"

"I know what to do Rachel! I'm not stupid! Go back up to the farmhouse. My precious husband is sleeping. I want to get this done and take the milk up to the house, so if you're going to mess around, you can go"

Why was she even down here? Sure, it was a job that went faster with someone else... but she'd only slow him down trying to get a rise out of him.

  Pointing towards the house, Lance kept glaring at sister

"Go! I can take care of this! Or do you want to have another go at me? Is that it?"

Frozen Lance was cranky Lance. He should have still been relaxed after the previous night, but the cold wind of the morning had stripped away his ability to give two shits. Placing the bucket down, Rachel raised her hands in clear surrender

"Lance, wait! No. I lied. Mami didn't send me, I wanted to talk to you"

"You wanted to talk to me?"

Was he actually awake? Was this his sister? She was acting so serious... He didn't know what to do with "Serious Rachel"

"Yes, you idiot. Why is it every time I look at your dumb face I get angry? That's not what I wanted to say..."

Groaning at him, Rachel put her hands on her hips

"I heard what you said to mami yesterday when you brought the milk in"

  Picking up the scoop up again, Lance started shoving chicken feed into the bucket

"You didn't hear anything"

"Brain damage. PTS and panic attacks...  Why didn't you tell us?"

That little... he could see it all now. Her back pressed against the hallway between the staircase and the kitchen

"Rachel, I'm not having this conversation with you"

"No"

"You're my brother!"

"I don't need your pity, Rach. I'm a fucking screw up and you know it. You saw what it was like when I was home last time. Well it's been like a thousand times worse, so there was no way I ruining everything again!"

Yelling at his sister only caused Rachel to yell back

"Why couldn't you just come home?!"

"And risk bringing the people after back here? Where they could hurt my family? I know you think you've been replaced, but there's no one who could replace you all. I've been in space so long, it's better I just stay there. Besides, it's not like you want me home"

"Why are men so frustrating?! I don't not want you home! But I don't get why you can't call us"

"You wouldn't understand"

  With the bucket full, Lance looped around the outside of the barn then over the fence into the pens to start filling the indoor feeders

"Why wouldn't I understand? I was here when Earth was invaded. I know what's it's like"

Sure, his sister had seen things he'd never wanted her to see, but at least she'd been back on Earth with her family

"But you weren't out there! I missed you guys every single day! I worked my arse off to come back to you, but all you got was a broken brother back after being missing for like 4 years Earth time. Then, when I finally come back, I can't relax and let go of the past. So forgive me if I want to keep all the crap out there, out there. I love Keith. He helped me get back on my feet and gave me the strength to finally come home"

"But why couldn't you come home sooner? We missed you. Mami has been so worried. She and V keep talking about you"

  Rachel didn't get it. She'd always been a ball of too much energy and sibling rivalry. It wasn't like Lance hadn't gotten his own back. In revenge for when she's ruined his face cream, he'd snuck into her room and sprayed spray adhesive in her hair. He'd thought it'd wash out, but instead his mother had to cut Rachel's hair short... She was always so much stronger than him... sneakier too. He was the baby of the family, the one in the background and usually forgotten in the chaos.

  "You don't get it. I mentally can't. The anxiety starts and I end up fucking everything up. I'd rather you laugh at me, or act like a cow, than have you act all weird because you think you have to be on edge or whatever"

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do to help"

"You don't need to do anything, except maybe give my team and Keith a break. Keith's a good guy. A really good guy. The aunties already have it in for him. I want him to relax and be happy. He's special to me, so it's important to me that he gets on with all of you"

"You married him without telling anyone. You don't get to come home with your husband like it's nothing!"

"I do! If you were listening, we were wed by a princess who is all of 8. We had no idea. But Keith and I... Keith was dating me with the intention towards marriage... So what if we skipped the gun a little? We're happy and we're working things out together. We've known each other for years... He's always had my back, and he's so fucking good to me and for me"

"You nearly got killed..."

"Which was all my fault. It was my fault and now Shiro's stuck cleaning up the mess..."

Groaning, Rachel stomped her foot

"Why don't you get what I'm trying to say?"

Throwing his hands up, chicken feed went everywhere

"Then why don't you explain it?!"

"You're my stupid little brother! I don't want you getting hurt and I don't want you to die! I want my brother back! The one who could be counted on when it came to mischief! Now you're married, you've got your own team and you never call home to talk to anyone but mami!"

"Because if I don't call mami, she calls Keith. Honestly, it's a hassle. Look, when I call next, ask mami to sit on the call"

"You have a communicator, you could message me"

"And if I did, would you reply?"

"Maybe. It depends how stupid your message is! All I want is you to take better care of yourself... You're my baby brother... my only baby brother. We're the youngest, we've got to stick together"

Lance paused, thinking through what Rachel said

"You... missed me?"

"Of course I missed you... All I wanted to do was be there for you"

  Abandoning feeding the chicken, Lance strode over to Rachel, throwing his arms around her

"I missed you too. So please don't treat me any differently. I'm still me... mostly me"

"Get off me you idiot, you stink!"

That was the Rachel he knew and mostly loved

"Nope, you said you missed me. You asked for it"

"I'm starting to miss you even less by the second"

"Good, because you're stuck with until after the new year. Me and my husband"

"I don't know how you snagged Keith. He's too good for an idiot like you"

"I don't know how I managed it either, but I'm not sharing"

"Mhmm..."

"Rachel"

"I just said "mhmm" now let me go. We need to clean up before the storm"

"Don't you dare get any ideas when it comes to Keith"

"What kind of sister would I be if I didn't initiate this husband of yours?"

"Rachel, I swear to god. If you go near my husband, I will shoot you"

"I'd like to see you try. Now hurry up, mami is going to make a full breakfast for everyone, and if I miss out on bacon, your ships going to go missing"

"My ship? You stand no chance at heisting my ship"

"Wanna bet?"

"What's in it for me?"

"I won't hit on your husband"

"Keith's gay, you stand no chance"

"That doesn't mean I can't make him as uncomfortable as hell"

"You little... I'm going to kill you. This is his first family Christmas. If you ruin it..."

"Yeah, yeah. That ship's going to be mine"

"You can't use my team..."

"I'll find a way. You just wait and see"

With all the tech on his ship and Rachel not in the system, Lance was kind of curious how it'd play out

"Fine. You win, and I'll give you a blaster. You lose, and you leave Keith the quiznak alone. You have until we leave to heist my ship. You can't involve my team, or hassle then into cooperating"

"It's a deal!"

"Deal!"

      *

With the weather turning sour, the day was spent inside watching movies. By the time lunch had rolled round, outside was blowing a gale that rattled the windows. The power flickered off and on, as they all crowded the living room and spilled into the dining room. Yet, through all the chaos of the weather, and Rachel and Marco loudly trying to teach Acxa and Daehra monopoly, Lance was completely out to the world. When his husband had come back wet from the rain, Keith had been slightly disappointed that Lance hadn't asked for his help, but when he'd happily filled him on Rachel's plan to claim the Telula, Keith realised that maybe it was for the best that the two siblings had spent the morning together. Now... Now he'd long lost feeling in his legs, Lance had fallen asleep while watching the Voltron cartoon series with the team, Keith pushed into Acxa's side by his sleeping husband. Freeing up the space for them, Keith pulled his sleepy husband up to lay along him. Lance clinging to him in sleep, snoring softly as his hands remained fisted around Keith's shirt. Oblivious to everyone's stares.

  Blinded by the flash of a camera, Keith nearly growled at the unwanted interruption. The sound bubbling up in the back of his throat before growing mute when he realised it was Lance's mother smiling down fondly at the pair of them

"I don't think I've ever seen him sleep so peacefully. Not since you all returned, and not without medical intervention"

Bringing his hand up to stroke Lance's hair, Lance nuzzled into his chest, a happy kind of purr escaping in his snore. Fuck. He was so smitten with his husband. It didn't matter if he couldn't feel his legs or if a there was some spring digging into his back. Lance always accused him of being the cuddly one, but here he was clutching at him and smelling divine. A perfect mix of sea salt and waves, coupled with the smell of rain outside. Keith was very nearly on the verge of sleep, yet his instincts wouldn't let him rest while Lance slept so deeply, the storm outside sounded ready to break through at any moment

"He doesn't wake up as much as he used to"

"We can move him if it's too much, up to Rachel or Marco's room"

"No... no, it's alright. Let him sleep. Do you mind getting him a blanket though?"

While Keith ran naturally hot, Lance now always ran cold. He'd felt warmer since his stint in the pod, but to Keith Lance felt warm more often then not. Warm and alive, the way he should be. Rubbing lance's back with his other hand, his husband let out a rather loud snore, drawing a smile from both Keith and his mother

"Of course, mijo. Are you sure you're alright like that?"

"Yeah, thank you"

  With a blanket covering most of Lance, Keith's protective instincts started to lessen. Not that he wasn't fiercely protectively of Lance, it was just better when his boyfriend was covered by a blanket and protected from the world. Making the mistake of wriggling down to try and restore circulation and relieve himself of the spring, Lance roused with a sleepy yawn

"Keith?"

"I'm here, babe"

Nuzzling into his shirt, Lance let out a soft sigh. Ruffling Lance's hair, he was rewarded with a loving smile

"' love you... so much..."

"I love you too. Go back to sleep, babe. I've got you"

"Mmm... rainy days with sound of rain against tin are made for napping with beautiful men"

"I noticed... we'll just have to find you a beautiful man"

"Got one. Best man in the 'verse..."

"Go back to sleep, you fool"

"I am... love you"

Laughing softly, Keith leaned up to kiss Lance's hair

"You already said that"

"Mmm... nap with me"

"I'm alright"

"Nap with me any..."

  There was boom so loud that the whole house shook. Keith was pushing Lance off of him and bolting to the front porch before his head could catch up with his feet. Searching for the unseen foe, he grabbed his blade from his boot, dropping his stance as his heart raced. When a second loud boom came as the sky lit up, the half-Galra realised what had happened. It was fucking thunder. He'd freaked over thunder... Thank quiznak they weren't under attack, but to freak out like that over a bit of thunder... Holy quiznak...

  "Babe, are you ok?"

 Cautiously coming to his side, Lance waited until he acknowledged him. Forcing himself to calm down, Keith slipped the knife back into his boot

"Yeah... Sorry. I don't know what I was thinking"

"You were thinking we were under attack, didn't you?"

Biting his bottom lip, his husband pulled him into his hold. An arm around his waist as he pushed a small kiss to Keith's lips

"You're ok, babe. You're ok. I'm ok"

Reaching up to stroke his hair, Lance nuzzled into his cheek

"There's nothing wrong. It's just a bad storm"

"I'm sorry. It's stupid. My instincts..."

"Your instincts are usually right, babe"

"No... I... I was feeling protective of you, I guess the sudden clap of thunder startled my instincts. I feel stupid now"

  Returning his husband's embrace, Keith could feel the tension of expected battle slowly leaving his body

"You're not stupid. You're not. It's ok. I get it"

"I don't"

"It wasn't a panic attack, maybe more like a flashback? The loud sound reminded you of an explosion instead of thunder. Trust me. The first time I heard thunder again, I was the same, thinking it was them coming for us. But you're safe here. No one's going to hurt you. I wouldn't let them"

"I don't know what happened though"

It was quiznakking thunder. There were no evil violet lasers shooting at the planet. He'd leapt to tense and on guard too fast. He didn't even remember slipping the knife into his boot. He'd thought he was relaxing and enjoying spending time with his husband's family. Shifting, Lance gave him a loving smile, blue eyes shining as they met his

"I get that. I get that... You're not stupid. You're not whatever else you're thinking. We were kids when we got sent out there, it's going to leave an effect. Can you come back to the living room with me?"

  Keith's felt like he was internally blushing. Lance getting it didn't make him not feel stupid. He knew how these sorts of things made his husband feel, and that he wasn't judging him for any of it... yet... How was he supposed to face them after rushing out like that?

"I made a fool of myself"

"You didn't. I promise you didn't... and if anyone says anything, I'll get mami's pink slipper onto them. Come back to the sofa, baby. Weather like this where there's lightening is made for napping"

"You just want your pillow back"

"No, I want my husband to understand that there was nothing wrong with what happened. That I love him, and then I want my pillow back. You're like a goddam heater, of course I'm going sap all the warmth from you that I can"

"I feel stupid"

"You're not"

"I freaked over lightening"

"And I freak over everything. Babe... if you want, we can run for the Telula? If that's better. Whatever you want"

With how hard it was coming down, there was no way that he was letting Lance out in this weather

"The sofa's fine"

Releasing more of the same calling sea scent, Lance kissed his cheek

"Good. I love you. I love you and you're not stupid or silly, or anything remotely like that, so stop thinking you are"

"How do you know I am?"

"You're doing that brow scrunchy frowny thing you do. First you get embarrassed, then you get mad at yourself, then you get down on yourself, and finally you clam up and over think it. I know you, babe. I'm telling you there's nothing to be embarrassed or angry about, so come back to the sofa for me. I think it's time I played pillow"

"I don't mind..."

"I know you don't, but maybe I want to hold my cute boyfriend for a change, plus, I bet the whole time I was sleeping, you were being poked in the back by a spring?"

Huffing at his husband, everything Lance had said been right

"How do you know about the spring?"

Grinning, Lance started waddling them back towards the front door backwards

"I might have been the one to dislodge it. I was playing super heroes with Luis and jump tackled him. It hasn't been the same since"

"You broke the sofa?"

"She's part of the family. Mami kept wanting to get rid of her, but we have so many good memories that us kids said no"

  Keith deflated against his husband. When he'd seen those photos of Lance's blank smile, he'd sworn to make this the best Christmas of his husband's life. He'd just freaked out, pretty much thrown Lance off of him and run out the front of the house like a nut job. He'd hit the "getting down" stage of coping. Hearing how happy Lance was, how normal kids were, it twinged uncomfortably inside of him. He wasn't jealous... not at Lance... it was more like he was jealous of the whole world that his foster parents couldn't get their act together. One time all he'd done was step over the sofa to stop two other kids from bashing each other with game controllers and he'd been backhanded so hard he'd tasted blood.

  "Keith... shhh, it's ok. It's ok. You're ok... oh, shit... Kosmo"

 Walking straight back into Kosmo, the pair of them nearly tripped up. Keith hadn't realised the memory had left him shaking like he was still the kid who's just lost his dad. Swallowing hard, he pushed his face hard into curve of Lance's neck, seeking the comfort only his husband could give him

"Sorry..."

"No. There's nothing to be sorry about. If you're saying sorry over being the biggest doofiest most protective husband in the universe, then I'm confused as hell. If you're saying sorry over emotions springing up that you can't control, then I have like 10 zillion quiznaks full of sorries to say"

"Can we talk somewhere?"

"Rachel's room is the spare room right now. She moved into my old room, and Luis and Lisa live in the town house. With everyone downstairs, no one will disturb us"

"Ok..."

  Led up the stairs to Rachel's old room, the pink starry plaque on the door still said her name. With a soft creak the door opened to reveal a room that was still mostly pink, other than a purple wall on the side the double window was

"Yeah. She has terrible taste. I mean, can you imagine bringing your boyfriend home to this? Sorry it's tiny"

  Keith didn't care that the room was tiny, it felt safer because it was. Two single beds and small dresser occupied the space, not that he got to see much of it before Lance was pushing back the covers on the closest single bed and drawing him down to lay along top of him. Whining at being left out, Kosmo climbed up to squish himself up on the end of the bed near their feet. Letting him calm enough to talk, Lance pulled the two thick blankets over them, then went about massaging his scalp with his fingertips as he waited for Keith to talk. Unsure where to start, the half-Galra hoped his husband would be able to make sense of what he was trying to say.

  "The day my dad died, I was waiting for him... We lived in that shack, in the middle of the desert, so school was ages away but he still made me go everyday. I remember because we were talking about space heroes and I said my dad was cooler because he was firefighter... He was stupidly brave, especially knowing that there was this whole galactic war going on... When the end of the day came, all the kids teased me because he wasn't there, and because I didn't have a mum like everyone else. They always teased me about that... dad and I would get into fights because I didn't understand... I thought I was wrong or bad... and that's why she wasn't there. He loved me, but he wasn't always the best with words... I waited and waited... then it started raining. I could smell smoke on the air and thought he was busy... but he'd always been very clear about waiting near the gates... so I waited... It was the middle of the night before I started walking home. One of his coworkers had remembered that I existed and had been looking for me. They told me he was brave and that as the building was coming down, he said my name... it... it was so bad... I didn't understand how he could die. He made my lunch that morning. He kisses me on top of my head and told me he was proud... and then he was gone forever..."

  He hated talking about it. Seeing it with his mother had been so much easier because she'd been there to help him work through it. But having someone there, didn't mean the trauma didn't rear its ugly head from time to time. He'd thought he wanted to talk about this... but now it all felt a bit too much. Sniffling, he shook his head

"I can't..."

"Babe, it's alright. I know, remember. I know. I'm so sorry about you dad... he missed out on seeing how amazing you are... and I know he'd be so very proud of you"

"How do you know that?"

"Because I'm proud of you. Every single tick of every single day. Even when we fight or stuff. I'm proud of you. We might not be parents, but I know for a fact you'd make the most amazing father in the universe... I could only have made it this far with you. Honestly. If you can't talk about it, then don't force it for me. You had a scare, and that's ok. I still love my "mullet-haired samurai" just as much as did when I woke up this morning, and just as much as I'm going to for the rest of our lives"

"I don't want to be alone..."

"I promise I won't leave you alone, if you promise not to leave me alone"

"As if I could do that"

"Then it's a promise. We'll talk when you're ready, and I know you'll tell me when you are"

"It's a promise, sharpshooter"

Lance let out a small chuckle, Keith holding him tighter as he tried to calm the tears that wanted to keep pouring

"Good. I love you, Keith. We're not those kids anymore. Not the kids that were sent off into space. We're adults and stuff. We've got our whole lives together to talk things through... and I have no plans of leaving you. You'd fall apart without me, I know it"

"More like you'd fall apart without me"

"Yeah, I can't deny that. Everything's still moving so quiznakking fast, but I'm starting to really trust in you not going anywhere. I'm really trusting in you. It's being built up between us. Some days my head is just... I don't know... but I've got you. You haven't abandoned me yet, so why the hell would I abandon you? Or something like that kind of thing. I'm getting pretty sleep again. It's like I'm made to hold you and sleep"

Keith let out a wet snort. He hated crying. He hated feeling so weak and vulnerable, yet somehow, in front of Lance, he seemed not so bad

"Go to sleep already idiot, you're rambling"

"Oh noes... Zzzzz Zzzz"

Making fake snoring noises, both of them laughed far too hard at Lance's antics, but let the room fall to silence once their laughter passed, simply enjoying holding each other as the storm outside raged on.

[mischiefandspirits]

Iron Legion (3/?)

Never let it be said that Tony Stark ever does things by half. He might have grown up with little family, but he wasn’t about to keep it that way.

Tony Stark was seventeen when his first child was born, and that was just the beginning.

For Masterpost, AO3, and Fanfiction

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Boy Wonders, Part 2

“How’s Mamma feeling today?” Tony chirped as soon as the call connected.

“Never call me that again, Stark,” Tori deadpanned.

“Ah, cranky, I see. So everything’s normal!”

“I’m flipping you off right now, just so you know.”

“What did the doctor say?” Tony reached for a wrench, only for Dum-E to grab it and zoom off. 

“Everything’s looking good and right on track. She even got a good enough shot to find out the gender.”

Tony watched as U intercepted their brother and grabbed it, zooming over to Tony only to toss it back to Dum-E.

“What we looking at?” he asked and got up to grab a new wrench as the two devolved into playing fetch with each other.

“You’ll have to wait until you get your copy of the ultrasound to find out.”

“Can’t I at least get a hint?” he asked, dropping onto his creeper and getting back under the car he was working on.

“Alright, fine… I think I’m going to go with Harley for the name.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “You were going to name them Harley either way.”

“Was I?”

“Sir, there is someone at the door for you.”

“Tony Stark has a visitor, I’m shocked!”

“Not that type of visitor, Ms. Richards. She claims to be a work associate. A Mrs. Mary Parker.”

“Ah, the latest spy,” Tony snorted pulling himself out from under the car.

“Spy?”

“Corporate espionage. People seem to think it’s easy to get ahold of my things if a pretty lady gets me near a bed.”

“Are they wrong?” both Tori and J.A.R.V.I.S. say together, though Tori is more teasing and J.A.R.V.I.S. honest confusion.

“No, but it’d take someone a lot longer than a night to be able to get the good stuff off my tech, and I tend to keep them distracted for most of the night, as you probably remember, Tor-Tor.”

“Ugh, knock it off before I throw up. I get enough of that during the bouts of morning sickness.”

“Sir, Mrs. Parker?”

“Right, right, let her in, but keep an eye on her. Any of her tech gets near ours, I give you full permission to shock her. Let her know I’ll be right up.”

“Have fun with your spy!”

“Yeah, yeah, have fun with your mood swings and cravings.”

“Still flipping you off.”

The line went dead as Tony wiped the grease off his hands.

When he reached the living room, Mary Parker was standing near the door. She was dressed in a navy pantsuit just as prim as the one she’d worn last he’d seen her. Which was slightly offset by the large colorful bag on her arm and the pink backpack straps over her shoulders.

“Hello, Mr. Stark.”

“Hello, Spy. You here to tell me who you were working for? I know it wasn’t Hammer, never would have made it past the firewalls with his garbage. I’m thinking -”

“I’m not in the business of corporate espionage, Mr. Stark,” she chuckled. “Just the plain old ordinary kind.” She pulled out a badge and Tony whistled.

“What’d I do to tick off the CIA? Did you guys finally find out about me hacking the Pentagon?” Mary pursed her lips and he shrugged. “What can I say? I was ten and in high school. You don’t turn down a dare when you’re ten and in high school. Pretty sure you don’t turn down a dare when your ten, period, but what do I know. I was six the last time I spent time with ten-year-olds.”

“This… isn’t about you hacking into the Pentagon.” Oh, she was doing the Tony Stark’s Giving Me a Headache Nose Rub. He didn’t think spies would be capable of getting that annoyed. “Though I hope you realize I’m going to have to tell my CO about that now.”

Tony shrugged again. “It was sixteen years ago, and I was a minor. I didn’t even look at anything. Also, for the record, if the CIA’s looking to buy, then they can go through the official channels like everyone else.”

“I’m not here on CIA business.” Mary set down her bag then pulled her backpack off.

It wasn’t a backpack.

“Woah, you and Richard actually decided to settle down?” Tony asked, eyeing the small baby in the carrier she held.

“No, and that’s the problem. He’s my partner as well as my husband -”

“That sounds like it should be against the rules.”

“As such,” she continued, ignoring him. “When I am on a mission, he is as well. Our lives are far too occupied for a child. Were she Richard’s, we’d have left her with his brother while away. As she isn’t, Richard and I agreed that she’d be better off with her father.”

Tony stared at the baby. He tried to make a joke about helping Mary figure out who it was, but couldn’t get it out. She was CIA, she knew exactly who the father of her child was.

“You know, Stark Industries has a policy -”

“I’m aware. I’ve already had my people complete the tests. I have the results in her bag, though you're welcome to complete your own.”

Tony didn’t want to know why the CIA had a sample of his DNA, he really didn’t. He did, however, want to make sure an accident happened so that that file would mysteriously disappear.

That would have to wait, though.

“Let me get this straight: You got pregnant after our little tryst, and now you think you can just drop the kid off here without even a by your leave!”

“Yes.” Mary carefully set the baby down onto the couch, brushed a hand over her head, then turned to walk away. “All the documentation you’ll need is in the bag.”

“Hold on!” he called out, but she was already slipping through the door. He stomped after her and pulled the door open to see her getting into the backseat of a car. “Hey!”

She sighed and turned to him. “Mr. Stark, my life isn’t safe. You’re a good man, despite what the media tries to make you out as. I don’t know if you’ll keep her, and I don’t care. I just know wherever she ends up, you’ll ensure she’s taken care of. Goodbye.”

With that, she shut the door and the car drove off.

“Sir?” J.A.R.V.I.S. said after a few moments. “The child has begun crying.”

Tony ran his hand over his face and went back inside. He stared at the squirming, whining baby on his couch for a second then asked, “Jay, what’s the likelihood that Tori would make fun of me if I call her?”

“One hundred percent, Sir.”

“Okay, she’s out. Who do you think? Ana or Rhodey?”

“Mrs. Jarvis will already be asleep by now.”

“Rhodey it is. Call him up, Jay.”

“Right away. In the meantime, I would suggest picking the child up.”

Tony frowned, but carefully picked up the baby and held her like the parenting books Tori forced him to read described. Thankfully she stopped screaming to stare at him with teary eyes.

“What did you do now?”

Tony pouted. “Why do you automatically assume I did something? Come on Honeybear, that hurts.”

“Are you saying you didn’t do something?”

“I mean, obviously I was involved, but this time it isn’t actually my fault.”

“Tones, what’s going on?”

“Remember Mary Parker?”

“Was she the one in Seattle with the braids or the one in Miami with the mermaid skirt?”

“The spy in D.C.”

“Oh, her,” Rhodey said and Tony could hear the glare in his voice.

The airman had been angry when Tony had told him what had happened, even when Tony had shrugged it off. He refused to listen when Tony pointed out that nothing had happened Tony hadn’t been open to beside the computer meddling, and it’s not like she’d gotten anything from that.

“What did she want this time? Did you figure out who she was working with? Please tell me you didn’t sleep with her again.”

“She’s CIA, and no, I didn’t sleep with her. She just showed up to drop off… something.”

“Something? What does the CIA want with you?”

“She wasn’t here on CIA business. She, uh, Well apparently she did manage to get something from me after all.”

“To-”

“I’ve got a daughter.”

There were a few minutes of silence.

“At least, Mary said she’s mine. Haven’t had anyone do the test yet.”

“She dropped off a kid with you?”

“And then drove off without a word.”

“… Tony, how do you get yourself into these messes?”

“If I wanted to be teased, I would have called the baby mamma.”

“Which one?”

“Thanks, Platypus, real funny. Now some advice would be nice.”

“Alright, alright, calm down. Let’s start at the beginning, does she have a name?”

“Let me see.” Tony walked over to the bag Mary’d left on the floor. He carefully knelt down to open the main pocket to find a variety of baby supplies and an envelope. He pulled out the envelope and dumped its contents out on the ground. He grabbed the birth certificate, saying, “It says her name’s Teresa Elizabeth Parker, born August tenth.”

“Okay, that’s a start. Now, how about supplies for little Teresa?”

“There’s some bottles and formula and diapers and things in the bag Mary left.”

“Things,” Rhodey chuckled. “Well, I don’t know everything a baby would need, but I think it’s more than that. You might want to call Tori for help with that.” At Tony’s groan, he laughed. “Tones, she’s going to find out eventually. Unless you plan on never letting Teresa know her little… sibling.”

Tony scowled at the pause. “She told you what gender Harley’s going to be! Unbelievable! Jay, hang up on the traitor and call Tormenter back!”

“Ton-”

“Goodbye, Major.”

The call ended and Tony stood up, rocking Teresa slightly. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent Happy a quick text before Tori answered.

“Your spy gone already?”

“You told Rhodey before me!?”

“I like Rhodey.”

“Let me just say, it better be a boy. I can’t handle any more demanding women in my life.” Tony pulled his shirt out of the mewling Teresa’s grip before she could stick the dirty fabric in her mouth. He handed her a crinkly toy from the bag instead. “First you, now little Teresa here. What have I done to deserve being treated like this?”

“I’d offer to write up a list, but I doubt there’s enough paper in Tennessee. Who’s Teresa?”

“My daughter, and I have done nothing wrong in my life.”

“… You have a daughter?”

“Apparently.”

The sound of something falling sounded from across the line.

“Tor-Tor?”

“My God! Tony, please tell me that Parks girl didn’t just drop a baby in your lap!”

“Parker, and she actually dropped the kid on the couch.”

“What the hell! Who would leave a kid with you?”

“A CIA agent, apparently.”

“Your life is a mess. Why am I letting you near my kid again?”

“No clue,” Tony bounced the baby when she started to get fussy again.

“You sure she’s yours?”

“She said she did the tests, but I’ve got Happy getting a doc so we can double-check. That reminds me, Jay, remind me we need to hack into the CIA’s database later so we can get rid of any samples of my DNA they’ve got.”

“Of course, Sir.” 

“Tony, do not hack the CIA. Jay, do not let him hack the CIA.”

“Of course, Ms. Richards.”

“Whose side are you on?”

“Yours, always.”

“Then act like it or I’ll donate you to a youth choir.”

“Can we get back to the part where you have a kid, one that isn’t mine?”

“I’d rather not.”

“How old is she?”

“She was born on the tenth.”

“And let me guess, you have no supplies.”

“Mrs. Parker left a baby bag.”

“Alright, Jay, stop getting involved in my conversations.”

“As you wish.”

“No more movie nights with Rhodey.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Let’s hope all your children aren’t as sassy as J.A.R.V.I.S.,” Tori snorted. “So you literally need everything then? And since you’re calling me, that means you have no idea what you need. I’ll help you put together a list.”

“I seem to remember calling you because you told Rhodey the gender of the kid and not me.”

“Let’s see. You’ll need a crib, sheets, and blankets since I doubt you’d want her to sleep with you. She probably left you some diapers, but you’ll likely want some more. Not too many though in case she grows quickly. You’ll also -”

“Jay, make a list.”

He could almost hear Tori rolling her eyes, but she continued on, this time addressing J.A.R.V.I.S.

He listened to the two talk as he grabbed the bag, leaving the papers scattered on the floor. He went into the kitchen and prepped a bottle, following the directions on the tin.

“Maybe this will quiet you down,” he hummed as he held the bottle to her mouth.

“Sir, Mr. Hogan has arrived,” J.A.R.V.I.S. said before asking Tori, “ What color would you recommend?”

“Mute,” Tony said and the two’s conversation cut off.

When he opened the door, Happy was standing next to a tall, dark-skinned woman.

“Haps, who’s your friend?”

“Dr. Stark, my name’s Dr. Georgia Jenkins. A pleasure,” the woman said.

“It’s Mr. Stark. Or Tony. Let’s go with Tony, Doc. I’d shake your hand, but mine are a little full.” Tony stepped to the side and the two came in.

“Mr. Hogan explained the situation as far as he knew it,” Dr. Jenkins said, glancing around the living room before turning to Tony. “An old flame dropped off a child that she claims to be yours and you need a paternity test as well as a checkup?”

“Actually, I just texted Happy that a woman had dropped off a kid and took off, but sure, let’s go with that.”

Happy scowled, but the doctor just gave him a smile and stepped closer to look at Teresa. “How old is she?”

“Two weeks or so, according to the birth certificate,” he said, gesturing to the pile of paperwork.

Happy sighed and went to gather the papers as Dr. Jenkins set down her bag and took out a thermometer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Resa, sweety, say Dada. Daaaadaaaa. Daaaadaaaa!”

“She’s not going to be able to say anything, yet,” Rhodey chuckled. “And even if she could, her first word’s going to be Rho. Isn’t that right, sweetheart? Say Rho-Rho!”

“Daaaadaaaa!” Tony cooed, pushing Rhodey away and bouncing the five-month-old on his knees. “Daaaadaaaa!”

“Rho-Rho! Come on, Tessa, you know you love Uncle Rhodey better,” the major teased.

“Lies! Haps, Rhodey’s lying over here!”

Happy lowered the magazine he was reading to glare at his boss. “Keep it down. We’re trying to keep it low key, remember?”

Tony rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out.

“Mr. Richards?”

The three men looked up at the nurse standing near the doorway. They stood up and Tony passed Teresa to Rhodey.

“How are they?” he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Everything went fine. They’ve just been moved to the postpartum room. Would you like to see them?”

Tony turned to Rhodey and his friend smiled. “Go on. We’ll let them rest a bit longer before bringing Teresa in.”

He nodded then followed the nurse in.

Tori gave him a sleepy smile when he walked in and held out the bundle of blue fabric in her arms.  “Say hello to Harley Nathaniel Richards.”

“Hey little Davidson,” Tony cooed, holding out his finger to his son.

Tori scowled and turned to the nurse. “Okay, he can leave now.”

The nurse looked between them nervously, but Tony just waved it off. “She’s joking.”

Tori flipped him off.

“I see you’re feeling fine then,” Tony teased as he watched the chubby fingers squeeze his own. “You okay for Happy and Rhodey to come in now? If you’re too tired -”

“I’m fine. If anything, I’ll be better off with Rhodey in here to calm you down.”

Tony shot the nurse a smile. “Would you mind fetching my relaxation Rhodey?”

The nurse frowned.

“The two gentlemen he was with?” Tori explained, slapping his side.

“R-right. Of course, I’ll be right back.”

“Do you want to hold him?” the new mother asked as the nurse slipped out the door.

His eyes lit up and he carefully took his son from her arms. “Hey there, Harls, welcome to the world.”

“Sir, Mr. Stane is calling. Should I send him to voicemail?” J.A.V.I.S.’s voice called out from the phone in his pocket.

Tony was tempted, very tempted, but he’d already run off on Obi the moment he’d gotten the text that Tori was going into labor. If he didn’t answer, his partner was likely to send someone after him and that could not happen.

He trusted Obidiah, but he also knew how the man would react to the news. Kids were a distraction, helping Tori was a waste, and Tony’s reputation would take a big hit if any of it was to come to light. Tony would be better off if he just let Obi either make it all go away or find a convincing cover.

Neither of those options worked for Tony, though, and he wasn’t going to go through the hassle of having to fight with Obi about it.

Tony sighed. “No, I’ll get it. Better to let Obi get it out of his system now.” He pulled his phone out and tucked it between his cheek and shoulder as the call was picked up. He ran his palm over his son’s head, saying, “You’ve reached the -”

“Where are you? There was a board meeting today!”

“Didn’t you get the memo? I told Jay to have my PA send out a memo. The board meeting was canceled.”

“You can’t just cancel board meetings, Tony.”

“Actually, I can. I am the CEO. It was an emergency, couldn’t wait, couldn’t be helped. Oh well.”

“You better not be collapsed drunk in your workshop or bedroom.”

“Nope, in fact, I’m not even in California. And we both know I haven’t had more than a few sips of wine in… How long, Jay?”

“Excluding the half glass of wine at the Nobel Prize Award Ceremony and glass of champagne at the Stark Industries Christmas Charity Gala, you have not had a drink of alcohol in six months, one week, six days, and three hours.”

“Really, nice. I think I’ve earned a chip!”

“I do believe chips are only awarded to those who completely abstain, sir.”

“Tony, I don’t know what’s gotten into you these past couple months -”

The door to the room opened to let in Rhodey and Happy, who was now carrying a giggling Teresa, and an idea sprung into Tony’s head. Interrupting his partner's rant, he said, “Obi, I know you’re worried, but I really had to go. Major Rhodes called me up, needing my expertise with something. You can’t expect me to risk our Air Force contracts by turning away a decorated major in his hour of need, can you?”

Rhodey shot him a look and Tony pouted at him, holding his son a little higher.

“I don’t buy that for a second. I’m well aware of your friendship with Rhodes. You think I don’t know that if I call him up he’ll cover for you?”

Tony tucked Harley’s head next to his chin and batted his eyes.

The major caved.

Rhodey took the phone with a sigh and put it up to his own ear. “Mr. Stane… Yes, I’m sorry to have pulled Tony away from you. We needed help on an urgent, confidential mission… Yes. Of course… Yes… He should be able to return in two days, three at most… Yes, I’ll personally make sure he attends, thank you. Goodbye.” Rhodey hung up the phone and gave Tony a look. “The board meeting’s been rescheduled for four days from now. You will be attending.”

“Thanks, Honeybear, you’re the best,” Tony said, ignoring the comment as he came up to Happy and his daughter. “Look, my ray of sunshine, this is your baby brother. He’s named after a motorcycle, but we won’t judge him for it.”

“You named your firstborn Dum-E, you don’t get to judge,” Rhodey snorted, stealing the boy away from his father.

“He knows what he did,” Tony snorted.

“Your second born is U,” Tori added.

“First of all,” Tony huffed, crossing his arms. “They named themself. That’s not on me. Second, you’re the one always insisting the kids aren’t actually my kids.”

“Robots and a talking alarm system aren’t children, Stark.”

Tony gasped and clutched his phone to his chest. “Don’t listen to her, Jay! You are a real boy!”

Immediately “When You Wish Upon a Star” began playing on his phone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A reminder that this is in the past, so that's why Rhodey's still just a Major.

While the Parkers had intended for Peter's (and yes, that's Peter. Note the trans tag) name to be pronounced the American way (tuh-REE-suh), Tony's Italian heritage peeked out so everyone's going to pronounce it that way (teh-REH-zuh), hence Tony's ray of sunshine nickname.

Can you guess where Peter and Harley's names come from?

[lovingsiriusoswald]

Dialogue Prompt List

A list of funny, fluffy, rage, and angsty dialogues compiled overtime! Under the cut because its reaaaally long and I love them all.

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Crackheads - From here (1-30)   (31-40)

“All I know is, one of us is right, the other one is you.”

“You did what?”   “It wasn’t as bad as last time, I swear.”

“Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?”   “Not until four.”

“Ohh, so you think I’m cute when I’m angry? Well, get ready because I’m about to be gorgeous!”

“I’m going into the woods to scream for a bit, anybody wanna come with?”

“So… I’ve just realised… that I’ve been shot.”

“I don’t care if you are panicking - just… do it quietly.”

“Excuse me, I have to go make a scene.”

“Yeah, I have a plan.”   “Is it a good one?”   “I have a plan.”

“I have to go… iron… my cat.”

“You gotta stop doing that.”   “What?”   “Saying things that make me want to kiss you.”

“Your existence gives me a headache, go stand over there.”

“You’ve got about as much charm as a dead slug.”

“Everything here can kill you, but I can do it the most efficiently.”

“Just know that I love you. I love you with all of my fucked up, piece of shit heart.”

“Is this coffee bitter?”   “No, it must be you.”

“You’re weird.”   “Sorry.”   “No, that was a compliment.”

“I know that I just spit blood all over you, and this is probably the wrong time, but I kind of like you.”

“Well, the best of the best weren’t available… so we got the best of the mediocre.”

“Here, hold my dignity… I’ve got some sketchy shit to do.”

“Fuck! I was so smart five minutes ago! What happened?”

“What happened to your face?” “Beauty.”

“You shake when you get angry.” “I do not!” “You’re like an angry lil’ chihuahua.”

“I could run a marathon. Right now. I’ll do it.” “It’s literally 2 am.” “I peak at 2 am, you should know this.”

“If there’s anything I’ve managed to do pretty well in my life, so far it’s not die. So we’re off to a good start on that one.”

“Are you there?” “Physically, yes. Mentally is debatable.”

“Why aren’t you dating him?” “Because I’d destroy him.” “He’d been into that!”

“Damn it, why aren’t you obeying the laws of physics?”

“All that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes!”

“She is the embodiment of snorting chlorine and then drowning yourself in a pool.”

“I may be small but I am mighty.”

“You are very attractive. Therefore I will stare at you.” 

“Somebody’s cranky.”  “Somebody needs to shut fuck up.”

“I didn’t do it!”   “Then why are you laughing?”   “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.” 

“You’re not short. You wouldn’t understand.”

 “Have fun, fam! I’ll bet it’ll be ‘lit’ as the kids say.”  “I’m literally begging you to stop”

“[character] NO!”   “[character] YES!”

“Did you just slap my ass?”   “Actually, I firmly grasped it.”   “Did you just quote Spongebob?”

“Twinkies and cotton candy is not dinner!” 

“I’m not arguing. I’m simply explaining why I’m right.” 

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Love and Sunshine - From here (1-21)   (22-42)

“It was always you.”

“Can you just hold my hand?”

“I love you in every possible way.”

“You are your own person. You are not mine. But I hope you will let me love you.”

“I wished every day to hold you once more.”

“You are a fountain of good fortune, my love.”

“Seeing your face is like drinking water after a lifetime in the desert.”

“There is something between us and it is the most beautiful thing I have ever felt.”

“If I could stay here with you forever, I would.”

“You had the deftness of a master thief when you stole my heart.”

“You are the first thing on my mind, the last thought before sleep, and my truest love.”

“This is my favorite time of day.”

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Feel it, it’s soft.”

“He’s adorable, what’s his name?”

“Let’s take the long way home.”

“I know it’s early, but you have to see this sunrise.”

“Paint with me.”

“I love it. It’s amazing.”

“Look at those stars.”

“You’re absolutely fantastic.”

“Rumor has it, I make you nervous.”

"You look cute with a baby bump!” 

“I want to try for a baby” 

“I really love holding you, darling.” 

“You look beautiful in anything.”

“I wanted to say “I love you” for the first time without stuttering, but that failed.” 

"The stars look especially lovely tonight." 

"I wasn’t planning on asking you, but it appeared to me that life is short. Will you marry me?" 

"May I have this dance, wife/husband?”

“Do you think it’s possible that I…might be… pregnant? ”

“Do you wanna know the sex of the baby?" 

“I can’t believe I got the first date, let alone a year.”

“I have so much love for you. I actually never thought I could feel like this, but you proved me wrong.”

“Dance with me and pretend the world doesn’t exist.”

“I don’t care where I’m sleeping, as long as its with you.”

“Are you flirting with me?”

“You’re the most important person in my life.” 

"I think this is going to be the start of something wonderful.” 

“You’re a little shit but you’re my little shit.” 

“Welcome to fatherhood.” 

“God, I’m never leaving your side again.”“Every inch of you is breathtaking.” 

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Ruled by Anger - From here (1-10)   (11-20)

“Admit that you’re wrong!”

“Do not compare yourself to me.”

“My hate for you runs deeper than your ego.”

“You left me!”

“You will never know how I feel.”

“Liar!”

“I wish you were dead.”

“You will regret this.”

“Get away from me!”

“I don’t know you anymore.”

“Say that to me one more time.”

“I told you what would happen if you disobeyed.”

“You just made your biggest mistake.”

“Let’s see what’s left in you for me to break.”

“Go on. Try to run.”

“Come here. Now.”

“I’m going to put you in your place.”

“Looks like you’re not useful anymore.”

“When I tell you to look me in the eye, you look me in the eye.”

“You think you know what pain is? No. Not yet.”

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Tear-Jerkers / Angst - From here (1-15)   (16 - 28)   (29-50)

“You made me feel weak.”

“I didn’t mean to love you so much.”

“You were the only person I thought I could trust.”

“You promised you wouldn’t forget me.”

“I don’t have anyone else.”

“I thought you still loved me.”

“You never cared that you broke my heart.”

“It wasn’t supposed to end this way.”

“Please just stay with me. For one moment at least.”

“You’re leaving now?”

“You didn’t miss me at all?”

“I can’t love you anymore.”

“I wish I was sorry.”

“All these years and you decide to break my heart now?”

“Did I ever really matter to you?”

“How come she loves you?”

“There are an endless number of things I wish to forget.”

“I came so far. Only to end up here.”

“I’m scared. Why am I so scared?”

“He never came back. Even though he said he would.”

“I wish I didn’t care about it.”

“Pain is not an easy thing to ignore.”

“Set me free.”

“I made her cry. How could I do that?”

“Please don’t make me say it.”

“There’s only so many times I can mend this heart.”

“How do I keep going?”

“It’s gone. All of it.” 

“I miss you when you’re gone.”

“I’m sorry, I fucked up.”

“There’s no bringing them back.”

“This is all my fault.”

“It’s okay to cry…”

“I leave tomorrow.”

“Maybe you’re right. We should just end things now.”

“I’m sorry it has to end this way.”

“…I’m in love with him.”

“Why the hell would you say something like that?”

“These people don’t care about you, ____.”

“I lost them.”

“Nothing really matters to me.”

“What do you see in me?”

“Being with you is so exhausting sometimes.”

“I don’t need questions, I need honesty.”

“Just don’t give up, I’m working it out.”

“Nobody loves you, anyway.”

“Just please go away.”

“I can’t be alone with all that’s on my mind…”

“Just leave me the fuck alone.”

“Don’t fucking touch me!"

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Heart Broken Tagalog/FIlipino Lyrics Translated to English

“You promised forever, then why are we in the end?”

“They said if you truly love someone, let them go. Goodbye, my love.”

“I’ll wake up from this dream of mine and finally let myself move on from you.”

“For these last seconds with you in my arms, may I pretend that you’re still mine?”

“You could’ve told me so I didn’t have to let my heart love again.”

“Why would I force myself for someone that’s not meant for me?”

“I wonder when can I hug and kiss you again, outside my dreams?”

“I’ll hold you tighter. I know this wouldn’t last.”

“Sometimes, love is not the answer.”

“Don’t let go, I don’t want to be left alone.”

[sunrisehoneybee]

Okay so you know I gotta request our husband Dark, female s/o and her coming to see Dark at work but all the egos she sees on her way up to Dark's office tells her that it's not the best time and that he's in a bad mood and when she pokes her head into his office, his aura is nearly suffocating and the lights are dimmed and he's sitting at his desk. She is the only one that can approach him when he's like this. Maybe end it a lil fluffy?

Soothed

“Hello?”  The building seemed oddly quiet today. Where was everyone? Chase was manning the front desk. That was…. different. “Where’s Tara?”  Chase winced. “Ah, Dark’s in a bit of a mood today. He may or may not have bit her head off.”  His eyes widened, “Not literally!” The fact that Chase felt the need to clarify that was disturbing all by itself.  “If you’re here to see Dark, you might want to come back another day. Just sayin’,” He held up a finger as the phone rang, “’Lo!”

She just shook her head with a bemused grinned and caught the elevator up. The door opened up on the 13th floor and Mare hopped in. “Heya doll. Listen, the boss is in a mood. Like…” He cringed and made slicing motion across his throat.  “Why don’t we grab some lunch?”  He waggled his eyebrows and grinned. “Thanks, Mare, but no.”  Lunch with Mare might mean just lunch. Or it might mean anything else. Better not take chances. He pouted a little and gave her puppy eyes, but finally conceded, “Alright, go talk to Mr. Grumpy-Gus, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!”  He hopped off the elevator at his floor, giving you a wave as the doors closed behind him and the elevator started moving up to the top floor.  

The offices leading to Dark’s were all abandoned. All except for one.  

“Hi there, gumdrop.” Wilford pulled her into a tight hug. “If you’re here to see Dark today, you might want to rethink that.” He paused for a second, then said, “I take that back.  If anyone can turn him around, it’s you.” He chucked her chin, spun her around towards Dark’s office and said, “Go get’em, tiger!” Then vanished in a puff of pale pink smoke that smelled faintly of cotton candy and gunpowder.

Well, not exactly a ringing endorsement, but the best she was probably going to get.  At least Wilford had faith in her. Not enough to stay, but …. oh well.  She knocked on the door and waited.  No answer. She knocked a bit louder, and still no answer.  Finally, she pushed the door open just a bit to look in.  The office was dim, no lights on.  The only light came from the computer screen and what leaked in through the blinds. Dark’s aura was crushing, suffocating, thick, making it hard to even breathe. It felt like pressure all over her, especially around her temples, making a tight band, setting her teeth on edge. He was in his chair, staring at the blinks, not moving. Until “Get. Out.” The office was thrown into darkness, lit only by Dark’s red blue glitches throwing strange light everywhere. “Dark.”  Her voice only had the mildest of reproaches to it. Dark never spoke to her like that.

The glitches became much more pronounced, as he turned to face her, “Forgive me, dear. I didn’t realize it was you.” He thought it was that damnable glitch beast again. “But all the same, I’m not good company today, perhaps we should postpone this for another day.”

She eased in, closing the door behind her, moving slowly closer to Dark. He looked at her with a flat, cold expression. One she had never seen directed towards her. Still, she moved between him and his desk, reaching out to touch his hand. “Dark…I missed you.”

One moment she was standing, the next?  She was in his lap, tucked up under his chin, his arms tightly around her.  She could still feel the anger in his aura rolling around her, but it almost seemed as though perhaps the office was not as dark as it was before.  She tilted her face up, kissing his chin, then his jaw, watching as slowly, so very slowly, it unclenched.

He looked down at her, brushing her lips with his, sighing softly. “I missed you too, kitten.”

She smiled, “Perhaps you need to get away from all this. For a little while at least. A change of scenery may do you some good.”

His eyes slid to his computer. The screen was still lit, but he was going to have to get a new one after what happened. He was certain the altercation between himself and Anti had all but fried it. “What are you suggesting?”

“Lunch?  A stroll? Maybe take the rest of the day off and spend it with me cuddled up on the couch watching bad TV?”  She grinned, nuzzling his cheek, feeling the heavy aura lift and the incessant hum of white noise fade.  “I …suppose I could.”  He certainly wasn’t getting anything else done today. He picked up the phone, hearing ‘Yo!’ and suppressing a growl, “Cancel the rest of my appointments for the day, and tell everyone they have the rest of the day off.”

“Really?”  Chase was excitedly spinning around in the chair.

“Yes, really. Something very important just came up.” Dark smiled for the first time that day as he hung up the phone and tilted her face up for a kiss.  

Thank you, Kat!  I loved writing this and I hope you loved reading it. I’m a sucker for cranky/angry Dark transforming into a softer version for his s/o.

@nerdqueenkat @bee-wrecker @graveyard-melodies @muntiller @lifelikefin @brianaraydean @nuggetfromspace @bibunnybi @justpandapop @ijwrff  @matronofthevoid @little-nonny

[gray-autumn-sky]

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished, Chapters 5, 6 and 7

Regina’s eyes flutter open, and the first thing she notices is that the cellar is darker--and then after that, she realizes that Robin is still holding her. Her cheeks flush with embarrassment as she pulls back, remembering what she allowed to happen between them--but when she looks at him, he’s not looking at her with any judgement.

“You slept well,” he tells her easily, his voice just above a whisper. “You needed it.”

Swallowing, she nods, bristling a bit at the lack of warmth she feels now that she’s away from him. “Mm, yes,” she nods. “I… is that your way of telling me that I was cranky?”

He grins. “Not cranky,” he says slowly. “Just… very clearly tired.”

Her eyes narrow and she feels her defensiveness prickling at her--and she knows that it’s not him bothering her. But she’s always been good at sabotaging herself. It’s almost like an instinct for her, a way to push back against her own choice and feelings, to cast blame elsewhere--and she hates it, though, no matter what, it always feels like she’s incapable of stopping it once it’s started.

“What are you implying?” she hears herself ask, unwilling to admit the obvious in that she was actually tired.

“Look, I’m just saying that it’s been a rough couple of days for you.”

He doesn’t engage the way that she wants him to and she frowns. “But--”

“Stop.”

“What are you--”

“I’m not going to argue.”

“But--”

“No.” Robin grins and crosses his arms over his chest. “I don’t know what this is, exactly, but I’m not going to participate in it.” She’s not entirely sure how to respond to that, but when she huffs and folds her arms, he laughs softly and watches her with those kind, sparkling blue eyes. “You did this yesterday, too.”

“If you don’t like my company--” At that, she grimaces, wondering why she can’t just drop it. “I’m sorry,” she mutters. “I can’t seem to get a handle on… well…”

“Like I said,” he says, his voice low but soft. “It’s been a rough couple of days.” She nods and settles back against the cold wall of the cellar, folding her legs beneath herself and pulling his cloak right around herself--and she feels guilt bubbling up at her core as that little voice returns, telling her that this won’t end well for him. “I know how tense I feel. I can only imagine that it’s doubly so for you.”

She nods--and then, sighs. “I don’t like feeling… confined.”

“No one does.”

“Well, I just… when I was little and then again when I came to Salem to live with Leopold, I…”

Her voice trail and her eyes pinch closed, and she can almost feel Leopold shoving her into a darkened closet as memories of being left alone in the dark swirl through her head. Just thinking of it, her chest tightens and it's a struggle to breathe. Her fists ache as she if she’s already been pounding on the doors for hours, her throat sore from screaming as she tamps down the anger bubbling at her core, wondering how it is that no one seemed able to hear her.

It’d always been like this, ever since she was a girl, and for the life of her, she struggled to understand how to be good. The rules seemed ever-changing, and she just kept getting herself into trouble. She didn’t try to, but it always happened. Leopold told her that she didn't have a moral compass, and her mother always told her she didn’t understand the way the world worked--and she supposed, both of those things were true. She didn’t have a good gauge of her actions--and what led her to this cellar was a perfect example. She thought she was defending her step-daughter and protecting her from harm, but in reality, all she was doing was sealing her own fate--and what seemed like giving in to her vulnerability and allowing herself a distraction and comfort would likely lead to the demise of someone who’d shown her nothing but kindness.

“I shouldn’t have let myself--”

“You don’t regret what happened between us, do you?”

“No,” she admits, her cheeks flushing with warmth and embarrassment. “But still, it’s not something--”

“I won’t spread it around, you know. I won’t… tell anyone.”

“Who would you tell?” she asks, a sardonic little laugh bubbling up from her. “If you told anyone you’d been with me, you’d hang.”

“Or be accused of--” He sighs. “Yeah, I’d hang.”

“You could leave, you know.” Robin’s brows arch. “I wouldn’t hold it against you.”

“And what would happen to you if I did that?”

“That’s not really your concern.”

“I think it is,” he counters, crossing his arms in an annoyingly stubborn but sweet way. “I think you are my concern.”

“Why?” she asks, bristling at his show of kindness. “Because you had sex with me?”

Robin’s eyes roll, but he doesn’t look at all put off. “No,” he says easily. “Because we’re in this together.”

“We don’t have to be.”

“I know that, but I am the one who broke you out of that jail cell, and I am the one harboring a fugitive. If I leave who's to say you wouldn’t give me up?” Again, his brow arches and he grins. “Look, I’m not going to drag you off and make you marry me just because we slept together or… anything equally extreme, but until I know that you’re safe, you’re stuck with me.”

“Why?”

“Hm?”

“Why are you so intent on saving me?”

He shrugs and his grin fades. “It’s what I do.”

Something in his voice changes and makes her curious--and more than anything she wants to shift both the conversation and her thoughts away from herself. “Do you, um… want to…”

“Talk about it?” he asks, folding his arms much like she did before. “Not especially.” She frowns, and he softens and sighs. “There’s not much to it.”

“Much to what?”

“The story.”

Nodding, she bites down on her lip. “It’s just… you know so much about me and--”

Robin’s eyes roll. “You just want another distraction.” Her eyes fall away from his and she feels guilt pang at her core, embarrassed once more, but this time because she’s trying to use something that’s likely personal and painful for him for her own amusement.

Well. Not quite amusement, but--

“Her name was Marian,” he says, sighing and waiting for her to look up. “She died because of me.”

“Oh,” Regina breathes out, her chest tightening. “You don’t have to--”

“It’s fine,” he says. “I just I miss her and talking about her reminds me of that.” And then he shrugs, a sad little smile edging onto his lips. “I always forget that I like remembering her.”

“Did you love her?”

Robin nods. “Very much so.”

Swallowing hard, Regina hesitates. “Did you… I mean, did she… know how you felt about her?”

“I’d like to think so,” he admits, laughing gently. “After all, we were planning to marry.”

“Oh, Robin that’s--” Her eyes press closed and she looks away, shaking her head and hating that this is where she brought their conversation. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he tells her. “I meant it when I said I like talking about her.”

Reaching out, Robin touches his hand to her knee. “How did you meet her?” she asks, looking up--and before she can assure him that he doesn’t have to answer that or apologize for an imprudent question, he smiles and tells her they’d known each other since they were kids.

“Her mother grew up in the same Wampanoag village that I grew up in. When she married, she moved further south, but her parents would bring her to see her cousins and aunts and uncles and--”

“You?”

“After awhile, yes,” he tells her. “Her father came over as a servant to one of the settlers and then bought his freedom about ten years later. He was… a proud man, as you might imagine, and I knew that I wasn’t good enough for his daughter--”

“I’m sure that’s not--”

“Oh, it was,” he tells her, nodding. “And he reminded me of it often. He told me once that he didn’t trust me and that I’d get Marian into trouble and… and that was the day I told him that I was in love with her and wanted to marry her.”

“How did that go?”

“Not well,” he admits. “But then Marian came in and… and he couldn’t deny her anything, so he agreed to let us see each other.”

Her stomach flops--she wants to smile, but she knows that this is merely a sweet spot in a sad story. “Then what happened?”

“Uh, well, we started to see each other more and more, and that meant more and more people saw us together.” He clears his throat. “I told you about my thieving ways, right?”

“You did.”

“Well, I, um… I stole a necklace and I tucked it away and forgot about it. I meant to pawn it, but…” Robin sighs and shrugs. “Like I said, I forgot… until Marian found it.”

“Was she angry?”

“No,” he tells her. “But she liked it, so I gave it to her and… um…”

“Oh,” she breathes out, suddenly understanding.

“She was accused of theft and when I came forward, no one believed me.” His eyes darken. “Your intruder--” Regina feels her eyes widen. “He, um… he blamed her for other thefts and there was nothing I could do or say to counter that.”

“How, um… how did she die?”

Again, his eyes darken. “She was hanged and then she was taken down and… burned in a fire.” Regina watches as his eyes shift away from her and, perhaps on his instinct, she finds herself reaching for his hand. “I didn’t get to say goodbye to her. I didn’t even get to bury her.”

“I… don’t know what to say,” she murmurs, vaguely remembering Leopold and Gold talking about a native woman who’d quietly been raiding homes in Salem and how she got what she deserved. She hadn’t pressed for details--she didn’t want them--and she’d learned not to question the motives of her husband, much less the church. But she also remembered sneaking off into the woods and sitting in front of a fire as she asked Bondye or Loa or any spirit that might be listening to look out for the woman’s soul because, without knowing the details, she knew that she didn’t deserve to die. “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.”

For a moment, she just sits there, holding her breath and contemplating what to do--and then, in one fluid motion, she shifts herself to the opposite end of the bench so that she’s sitting beside him. She stretches her arm around his shoulders--and though she’s not sure it’s of any help to him, she hopes that she can provide him with even just a sliver of the comfort that he’s brought to her.

Hugging her knees to her chest, Regina watches as Robin sharpens the ends of his arrows with a rock--pulling them one by one from the quiver and rubbing them until their points are sharpened, then tucking them back into their place. In some ways, it’s mesmerizing watching him--though, she’s not sure that it’s him so much as it is that he’s the only thing to provide any sort of entertainment. But she can’t help but notice how focused he is, how much attention he pays to detail, and how nimble his fingers are.

“When did you learn that?”

“Hm?” he asks, not looking up at her. “Learn what?”

“That,” she says, gesturing toward the rock and arrow. “When did you learn to… um… sharpen…” Her voice falters and then it trails off as he looks up at her and grins, and almost as soon as he does, her cheeks flush with embarrassment. “I suppose that was a stupid question. Who doesn't know how to sharpen a knife on--”

“I told you a Wampanoag woman took pity on me and raised me?”

“Yes.”

He laughs a little. “She calls me Adahy sometimes as a sort of nickname. It means ‘Boy who lives in the woods.’” A grin twists onto her lips. “It’s quite appropriate. I am a boy who lives in the woods.”

“Of course.”

“Well, when she took me in, the others were quite leery of me.”

“But you were just a child. You--”

“Even then, I understood,” Robin cuts in. “Anaba--the widow--and her brother, Askuwheteau, lived through King Philip's War and--”

“Oh--” She grimaces. Everyone knew about that because men like her husband constantly referred to it, using it as if proof of their superiority. “That’s right.”

“Askuwheteau is a watchman,” Robin explains. “He’s the one who taught me how to shoot.”

Regina nods, biting down on her lip. “Are you very close with them?”

“They raised me.”

“Oh, right--”

“I know that doesn’t always mean close, though,” he says, his voice suddenly gentler as her cheeks flush. “But, yes, I am quite close with both of them.”

She envies that, she thinks--and then, she realizes how crass that seems.

Her life had always been one of privilege and here she was feeling envious of someone who’d lost his parents at a young age, then mistreated by the one whose care he’d been left in. From there, he’d been on his own and then taken in by strangers from another land and culture--then, as it seemed his life was finally coming together, once again, he lost it all.

She didn’t have a right to complain. Though her life was far from perfect and she’d faced her share of hardships, she’d at least faced them in comfort.

Well, up until now…

“Do you hunt?” His brow furrows as his eyes meet hers. “I mean, with, um… the arrows.”

“Yes,” he says easily. “When it’s my turn.”

She nods, shifting awkwardly at her poor attempt to move the conversation, and then she feels a grin tugging up at her lips as she thinks of Robin hunting which only leads to her remembering him flailing and screaming as a tiny bat fluttered away from him--and then, suddenly, she’s laughing.

“Is that… um… a surprise to you? Me hunting, that is?”

“No,” she manages to say, her face scrunching up as she tries to stop her laugh. “I just--”

Robin bristles and his shoulder square. “I’ll have you know that I am a damn good shot. I never--”

“Hunt bats?”

He stops and his eyes widen indignantly, his jaw tensing. “No one hunts bats.”

She nods, and a little snicker squeaks out of her. “Right.”

“They’re fruit bats, they--”

“Wouldn’t hurt a fly?”

Again, his eyes widen as if he’s lost his point. “I was taken by surprise. That’s--”

“Of course,” she cuts in, giggling to herself. “That was it.”

Robin blinks, huffling slightly as his arms cross. “It was dark and… and those things bite and--”

“Turn people into vampires?”

She giggles when his jaw tightens further. “They’ve been known to suck blood and--”

“That’s a myth.”

“It isn’t.”

“Well, it isn’t if you’re an apple or maybe a sunflower.” Robin just stares at her for a moment before shaking his head and looking away, and she feels guilt pang at her core, wondering if she’s taken it too far. “Robin, I’m--”

“Look, just because you’re a witch and you like hanging around creatures of the night, doesn't mean the rest of us do.” He manages through it with a straight face, and then just as she’s wondering if this is really something they’re going to argue about, a grin twists onto his lips, and his blue eyes shine as his laugh rings out. “I’m sure I looked like an absolute fool.”

Nodding, Regina giggles. “We all have our moments.”

“Something tells me you don’t."

“No?”

“No,” he replies. “You seem so graceful and--”

“I’m not sure anyone’s ever said that I have any degree of grace,” she tells him, her smile fading slightly as she thinks of all the times Leopold reminded her of the evilness in her heart, and how she would soon be damned to hell. “Quite the contrary, actually.”

“From where I’m standing, you’ve plenty of grace and poise and… goodness.”

Her cheeks warm. “You… sound as though you might be fond of me.”

“Well, that’s because I am.”

Her brows arch. “You don’t know--”

“I know you well enough to know that I’m fond of you.”

“Well, I suppose, um… given what we did this afternoon... we, um…”

Robin grins and chuckles softly. “We had to stay warm somehow, right?”

“Is that what we were doing?”

“Well, weren’t you warm? I certainly was and--” Regina laughs out suddenly, and his voice comes to an abrupt stop, his head tipping to the side. “What? What’s so funny? I was--”

“I just… I don’t think I’ve ever met someone like you.”

At that, Robin practically beams. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should,” she tells him. “I just… I can’t believe how easily you disregard all of the things that would have everyone else quaking in their boots and fearing their own damnation.” Shrugging, she lets her eyes meet his. “It’s… refreshing to be looked at without judgement or scorn or… whatever other ways people look at me.”

“I… live by my own rules,” he tells her. “I always have.”

She nods. “I suppose you would have had to.”

“And, it seems, you’ve done the same.”

Regina blinks. No one had ever framed her choices that way. “Yes,” she murmurs. “I suppose that’s true.”

Reaching out, Robin takes her hand in his, giving it a little squeeze. She’s not sure what it is, but the gesture has her blushing and looking away, and then sensing her discomfort, he lets go of her hand and settles back against the cellar wall.

“The Wampanoag aren’t far. Just a few miles,” he tells her. “That’s our destination.”

“You’re going to… take me to them?”

“They won’t hurt you. They’re--”

“No,” she cuts in. “That’s not what I meant. I just… they mean so much to you.”

“Which is why that’s where I’m taking you. They’ll hide you if--”

“Robin, I don’t know if--”

“No one will look for you there.” She blinks. It’s true enough. She can’t imagine Leopold giving them enough credit to aid and abet an escaped convict, and he can’t imagine he’d give her the credit to think of hiding amongst them in plain sight. “You, um… you don’t have to stay forever, but it’ll give you time to… um…” He shrugs and beneath his stubbly cheeks, she thinks she sees his skin flushing slightly. “Well, I suppose that’s not for me to decide. It’s not my concern what you decide to do after.”

“No,” she murmurs, feeling an odd stirring in her chest that she doesn’t quite understand. “It isn’t.”

“Eventually, they’ll stop looking, and you can… figure out your next move.” Taking a breath, he looks to the cellar doors. “It’s dark.”

“It is,” she replies, nodding and following his gaze. “Should we--”

“Yes, I suppose we should,” he answers a bit reluctantly, but taking in another breath he rises to his  feet. “I’m sure you can’t wait to get out of this damp cellar.”

Swallowing, she can’t help but think of how wrong he is, but can’t find the words to express why that is. So, she lies and agrees that she can hardly stand another moment in the cellar and can’t wait to take in the cool, fresh air--and then, he goes through a plan that she barely pays attention to.

He explains the route in detail, assuring her that he’ll hold her hand so that they don’t get separated--and then, as he pulls his quiver onto his back, her stomach flops and she follows him up the dark stairs. The cold night air hits her face as they emerge from the cellar, and her heart pounds wildly as his fingers curl around her hand as they steal away into to night, barely able to see the path in front of them through the thickness of the trees.

Then, as they wind around the curve of a path toward the river, a light catches her eye.

Robin comes to a halt and his fingers tighten around her hand as her ankles dig into the earth beneath her, and as she looks around, she finds that they’re surrounded. Tears sting in her eyes as the man with the lantern comes forward and when she sees Leopold’s hard angry eyes in the light, her breath catches in her chest--and then, as Robin is ripped away from her, she lets out a scream that echoes through the woods.

She cries out his name and tries to break free from Leopold’s hold, but she knows that it’s no use and struggling will only make them angrier--and if she lets them know how much she cares, it’ll only be that much worse for Robin.

So, she stops and lets them take him.

The stone of the cell feels colder than it did before, and the rain’s returned with a vengeance.

She’s in a different cell this time--a smaller one, positioned in the back of the jail--and this time, she’s been gifted with a view of the gallows. Her wrists and ankles are bound with metal shackles, and the chain that keeps her in place against the wall is less than an arm's length, making it impossible to look away.

Once more, she’d been reminded of the evil inside of her and--when they were alone--Leopold told her that part of her punishment would be to see the suffering she’d caused before she died so the last thing she would think of was pain and suffering she’d brought down upon her lover.

His tone turned bitter at that--at the word lover--and it was almost as if he knew what happened between her and Robin in the cellar. Truthfully, she didn’t care if Leopold knew and she didn’t care if Robin had told him; it didn’t embarrass her that they’d been together in that way and she refused to consider it wrong, given the comfort it brought to her. But what did bother her was the judgement in her husband’s voice as if it proved something about her, as if it proved all of his assumptions right.

To him, it meant that she was evil, that she was a witch and that she deserved to die.

And what was worse was that it likely meant that he’d die, too.

After they were captured, they were separated. She was loaded into one jail wagon and he into another, and when the path at the end of the woods diverged, the wagon carrying him went the opposite way. She was taken back to the jail and Gold had taken a sick sort of pleasure binding her wrists up above her head and whipping her until her back bled.

She’d stood there--naked and on display--the wounds on her back stringing and her wrists and shoulders burning. She’s refused to cry, though, and she refused to beg them stop--then, when Leopold crouched down in front of her and told her the whipping might force the evilness out of her, it took everything in her not to spit in his face. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that he’d gotten to her...

Though they’d taken Robin on an opposite path, he’d ended up at the church next door. From her cell, she could see it clearly and she’d desperately searched for a glimpse of him. It seemed silly to feel reassured that he was still alive--given that his fate and hers were all but sealed--but when she saw him struggling against the men who dragged him toward the church’s annex, she felt the oddest sense of relief.

The relief was short-lived, of course.

A reverend arrived soon after carrying his bible and a glass bottle of holy water, and she could only assume they were about to perform some sort of exorcism to rid him of whatever demons she’s unleashed on him--and judging from his screams, it didn’t go well.

At sunrise, she’d finally caught of a glimpse of him as two men dragged him to the stocks, shoving him down and forcing his arms into the wooden holes. The locks were tight and even from her cell, she could see that they cut into his skin--and that was the only time she allowed their eyes to meet, and she found his lip was bloodied. He smiled though and offered her a wink, and she forced herself to look away, unable to accept the kind gesture--after all, it was her fault that he was going to die.

Leopold’s words echoed in her ears, cutting at her in a way far more painful than the chains around her or the hard burlap of her dress that scratched against the fresh wounds--and for the first time, she wished that she’d died the day before because had she died, Robin’s fate wouldn’t be tied to hers. She missed the numbness she’d felt the day before and she missed the emptiness and acceptance she’d felt. Her fate was sealed and that was that, and then Robin--who, in less than a day’s time, went from an absolute stranger to someone she cared for deeply, renewed her sense of hope. She hadn’t realized how she’d fought against that and she hadn’t realized how it’d burrowed inside of her and taken hold--and when she looked at Robin, bound and bloodied in the stocks, the regret that filled her was overwhelming and forced her to look away.

Turning away was difficult. The chains that held her against the cold stone wall were not long enough to allow her much movement and what little she could manage made the metal shackles around her wrists cut into her skin--but then, when she expected the chains to tighten, they instead loosened and she heard the sharp found of a brick scratching against another.

She stopped, stiffening as she looked around herself.

The jail was dark, and save the windows, there was no light inside, not even from a fire. She could just barely make out some of the gaunt faces of the other prisoners, but none of them awoke from the noise. Drawing in a breath, she slowly extended her hand out in front of her, grimacing as the bricks slid against each other and the shackles rubbed against her worn skin--and then, the brick came crashing down.

She held her breath and waited, but no one noticed--and when she looked up, she could see Robin eyeing the hole where the brick had once been.

Pressing her eyes closed she drew in another breath, still unable to look at him as her heart beat wildly in her chest and her fingers worked frantically to unwind the changes and shackles. Even though she knew that no one was there, she kept looking up--just waiting to be caught--and when one wrist was free, she easy unlocked the clasps on the shackles that bound her other wrist and her ankles

She felt a thrill run down her spine as her stomach churned both anxiety and exhilaration--and then, she realized that she was still trapped. She might have have freed herself from the chains, but she was still stuck in the cell--and upon that realization her eyes sunk closed and her shoulders slumped forward as she chastised herself for her stupidity, and for allowing herself to, even for just a moment, believe that she might be able to fix this and that may neither she nor Robin would have to lose his life with the coming morning.

Leaning back against the wall, Regina slowly sinks down as tears well in her eyes. Cool air comes in through the hole in the wall, making her shiver as she draws her knees up to her chest in an effort to keep warm--and as she rubs her hands over her knees, an odd memory stirs.

The clasps, she thinks.

They’re pins--metal pins that locked and unlocked the shackles. Hesitantly, she opens her eyes to stare at the open shackle laying on the floor of the cell, just out of her reach. She remembers watching Robin pick the lock on the cellar and how the pick was a long iron pin almost identical to this one--and then, as she slowly reaches for it, she reminds herself that she doesn’t have anything to lose.

It takes a bit of patience to pull the pin from the shackles, but almost as soon as she’s separated it she is on her feet, sticking the pin into the lock. As she wiggles it around in an effort to pop open the lock, she notices another woman in the cell across from hers sitting up on the bench in her cell. She eyes her closely, but doesn’t say anything--and then, as soon as she feels the lock spring open, she throws open the cell and sprints down the narrow corridor to the front of the jail.

The sky is light now and though everything is quiet and still, she knows the guard sleeping only a few lengths away from her would soon wake.

For a moment, she just stands there, contemplating what she should do--and again, Leopold’s words echo deafeningly in her ears.

You’ll watch your lover die.

Heat rises up the back of her neck as she remembers the smug judgmental look on his face and the way his eyes seemed to laugh, and the memory stirs something at her core. Before she can dwell for too long on the memory, she hears the faint sound of a carriage rattling, drawing closer and closer with each passing moment, likely coming toward the jail to take them to the gallows. Her stomach flops at the thought of it--the thought of Gold ordering Robin up onto the platform, forcing him when he refuses and pulling the noose down over his head, and she flinches when she thinks about the platform’s bottom being pulled away and what that would mean for him.

Shifting nervously, she looks back at the sleeping guard, doubting that she’ll have time to free Robin and escape with him--and as her eyes fall upon the guard, she notices Robin’s bow and the quiver full of newly-sharpened arrows propped up against the wall just behind him.

Her skin prickles as she turns toward the guard and she swallows hard as she takes the first step--and then, as she takes another and then another, she feels herself growing bolder and less afraid. Beneath her breath, she starts to recite a prayer for protection--speaking in a language she hasn’t been allowed to speak since her marriage--and when the guard begins to stir and his eyelids flutter, her voice only gets louder.

Regina keeps moving toward him and the prayer begins to sound like a chant, and his eyes open fully, they fill with a false realization that she’s somehow possessed with demonic spirits--and to her great relief, he seems rooted in his place. Her heart pounds in her chest as the guard grips the arms of his chair, his eyes growing wide as she begins to mutter witch in a voice that’s nothing less than terrified--and instead of giving in to her own fear, she takes advantage of his and lets a smile pull onto her lips.

“That’s right,” she tells him. “That’s exactly what I am.”

Reaching across him she holds her breath, fully aware that the man before her is big enough to overpower her and if he merely grabbed hold of her, he’d be able to push her back and it’d all be over for her--but he doesn't do that. Instead, he just cowers fearfully in his place as she takes hold of Robin’s quiver; and then, keeping an eye on him, she also claims the bow.

“Don’t move,” she whispers cooly. “Not a bit.”

“Don’t kill--”

Her brow arches. “That’s a funny request,” she tells him, her voice sounding far more confident than she feels. “Considering the circumstances and what you were going to do to me.”

“I am a good, God-fearing--”

“Stop.” It surprises her that she does, and as she pulls away with the bow and quiver, she catches a glimpse of the key ring tied to his waist with a silky ribbon. “I’d be willing to barter.”

“B-barter?”

“Your life for those keys.”

“B-but--”

“You’re married, right?”

“Don’t hurt--”

“Give me the keys.”

This time, he nods, his fingers trembling as he fumbles with the ribbon as he pulls the ring away from his body and hands it to her. Swallowing hard, she takes it and feels a bit of relief to see it only holds three keys. Backing up, she keeps a watchful eye on him, fully aware that as soon as her back is too him he could easily become more daring--so, with her own hands trembling, she pulls an arrow from the quiver.

It’s harder to do than she once imagined, but as the rattling sound of a carriage grows closer, she realizes that it’s now or never. If she does nothing Robin will likely die, and it’s not like she’ll actually kill this man… just… delay him.

Drawing the arrow back against her cheek, tears fill her eyes--and then as the rattling becomes louder, the guard begins to babble. He apologizes and and he pleads--and somehow, that only succeeds in infuriating her. No one listened when she cried, just as no one listened to the cries of a dozen women who hadn’t done anything wrong, but nonetheless died; and no one listened to Robin’s pleas--and unlike Robin and the others, this man wasn’t innocent. He’d aided death and torture, and he hadn’t cared about the lives he ruined. He didn’t care about the motherless children left behind or the young girls whose lives were abruptly cut short--and as she considered that, she found it much easier to pull back the arrow and as she released it, she watched the guard’s eyes widen.

Momentarily, she wondered what he was thinking or if he felt any remorse--but the wondering was fleeting. She didn’t care, and as she let the arrow snap forward, she didn’t wait to see where it struck him; she just knew the blow would not be a fatal one.

Regina ran toward the stocks as the rattling carriage drew closer and she smiled wistfully as she looked at Robin. His head was slouched to the side and he a little blood trickled from his mouth, and in other circumstances, she might consider death a better option than this--but not today.

“Hey…”

“Regina, what--”

Stooping down in front of him, she lets her hand coast up his stubbly cheek--and as his blue eyes turned up to meet hers, she leans in and presses a quick kiss to his lips. “I’m saving you.”

“You shouldn’t--”

“Can you argue later?” she asks, her brows arching as she rises up, keeping an eye on the road as she tries to first key--and when it doesn’t fit, she tries another.

In the distance, she could hear a voice calling commands to a horse--and her breath catches in her throat. They were just around the bend and--

The lock clicks open and her eyes widen in surprise--and then, as she stands up, she opens the stock and Robin is able to stand.

He looks a bit wobbly as he straightens himself out. “Are you insane?”

“No, but the guard in there is under the impression I’m possessed by some sort of evil, voodoo spirit,” she murmurs easily, looking between Robin and the road and watching as the horse and carriage comes into view. “And that’s really no way to thank me for saving your ass.”

“I believe you’re just returning the favor,” he retorts, laughing softly as he reaches for her--and together, they steal off into the woods and, this time, running to their freedom.

[jbuffyangel]

The Weekly Rundown (10/07/18-10/13/18)

Sorry so late! I’m getting caught up on articles. Almost there :) Time to rundown what I’m watching, loving, hating and everything in between! Spoilers ahead!

God Friended Me (”The Good Samaritan”)

Confession time: I didn’t pay very close attention to this week’s episode, but Miles and Cara continue to be adorable. Pretty sure I ship it.

Manifest (”Turbulence”)

I’m not really feeling the chemistry between Josh Dallas and Athena Karkanis. However, the chemistry between  Melissa Roxburgh and JR Ramirez is smoldering.

Josh Dallas is my blue eye baby who makes me feel all the things. He conveyed so many emotions without saying a word in the scene where Ben and Grace discussed the man in her life. WOW!    

I want to believe Grace is in love with Ben and not Danny (because it's Josh Dallas and that's all the reason she needs), but I'm not buying it... yet

The whole twins being different ages is a never ending mind bender.

Seriously though what did Ben do for a living?

The Gifted (“coMplications”)

All I want is for Marcos to hold Dawn forever and snuggle with Lorna. Why can’t I have the things that I want?

But seriously though these Marcos and baby scenes are killing me.

Marcos fighting the Frost sister’s mind control was amazing. He was ready to tear everything apart to get his Lorna and his baby. SO HOT.

Andy, buddy what are you doing? Sure, they gave you a better hair cut and cool clothes, but Reeva is crazy. Tell me you know that boy!

I’m having trouble understanding why Reed didn’t want to tell his wife and daughter his powers were coming back. He has two mutant children! They tried to equate Lauren’s fear of “coming out” to Reed’s but it’s just not the same. He was her parent and he hunted mutants. She legitimately feared her father’s rejection. Reed isn’t in the same situation at all and I see no reason to for him to be lying to everyone for months.

Kate hugs Reed once he tells her the truth, which is nice, but were we really expecting her to reject him? Did the writers forget they have two mutant children?

The Gifted blew past all the build up to Clarice and John’s relationship and now they’ve sewn the seeds for the break up - in the third episode. This whole “Clarice is a spy for the Erg and lies to John about it” storyline is only going one place. John is doing his fair share of lying and pushing Clarice away. Needless to say I am unhappy with how this relationship is being handled.

F.B.I. (“Green Birds” and  “Prey”)

Finally got caught up on F.B.I. I thought “Prey” was a much stronger episode than “Green Birds.” 

I am so glad they cast Sela Ward! I love her. Her character is much more likable as Maggie and Omar’s boss.

I’m here for Omar doing hot things because Omar is hot. I feel warm every time he talks about his military experience. 

Still a little iffy about this show, but I’ll stick with it for now.

This Is Us (Katie Girls)

The depth of my hate for Jack's father knows no bounds.

"Or you can stay and I'll kill him." Honestly, I was okay with that option too Jack.

Randall is a mess watching his brother's movie and I stan this bromance so hard.

I am really freaking glad Randall is taking Kate on because I AM SO MAD AT HER.

Well that conversation swerved quickly. Stay on point Randall.

Okay well now we're off on a whole other thing and Kate is crying. Good grief children.

Not sure how Randall & Kate's discussion became a fight about adoption. The point was to discuss Kate's insensitivity regarding her remark about being the only person able to pass on Jack's genes. How did she turn it into Randall's insensitivity about her miscarriage?

Beth, Miguel and Toby having a group text to discuss their messed up in laws is AMAZING.

Randall is terrible at apologizing but also WHY IS HE APOLOGIZING?

I'm trying to hang with my girl Kate here. I've had a miscarriage and it's devastating, but your personal pain is not an excuse to be hurtful to others. Understanding where Randall was coming from was not a long bridge to cross.

I am so relating to Kevin putting the pieces together regarding Jack's service.

Beth got fired? NOOOOOO. My Beth!  

Toby's reaction to Randall showing up was gold.

KATE AND JACK ARE DREAM SEQUENCING AND I AM NOT OKAY. Btw Jack could you advise Kate to stop being such a jackass to Randall? Thanks bro.

Awkward Rebecca and Jack is the worst. You are soul mates kids. Get it together.  

Jack wants to marry you Rebecca and have lots and lots of babies. You are his dream.

I hope Randall and Beth have 9 months of savings. Suze Orman says you need 9 months of savings.

Marriage is never 50/50. But I think Beth and Randall have been going 90/10 for awhile and it's time for that ratio to shift.

I love how the writers find commonality in their characters in ways you never thought of before. Randall and Toby sharing their struggles with depression and anxiety was such a beautiful way to bond these characters

Kate wanted to marry Mark Paul Gosselar. Same girl.

"You came across the country to say you are sorry. That's the most Dad move ever." HELLO KATE. NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. You could have added that he didn't need to apologize and you are the one who is sorry but I don't want to editorialize too much. Carry on.)

Rebecca pulled a Jack Pearson on Jack Pearson. EPIC.

Marry you the man who does dishes. 

A Million Little Things (”Save The Date”)

HOLY. FREAKING. CRAP. THEY. ALL. FOUND. OUT. That was fast y’all! Wow!

If we’re blowing past the big affair secret does that mean we’ll find out the reason John killed himself? It’s an annoying mystery. Cough up the answers, show.

All the awards to Grace Park. She’s been sadly under utilized on this show until now and boy did she come out swinging. The scenes where she confronts Eddie and Delilah were amazing. 

I cheered when Grace slapped Eddie. I have no sympathy for him. He’s cheating because his wife is gone at work all the time? It’s called a mortgage jackass. Guitar lessons aren’t going to get it done. 

It irritates me when people act like they have no choice in who they sleep with. Eddie is walking around like falling in love with Delilah was an accident. Listen pal you are a grown ass man. You made choices. Own it. Cheating is such a mean thing to do.  Nobody is forcing anyone to stay in these marriages. Get a divorce before you go hopping into bed with someone else.

I’m only slightly less angry with Delilah but that’s only because her husband jumped off a building. Her scene where she screams to friends to ask if she was the reason John killed himself was gutting. Guit is a bitch.

By the way, even if Jon made his peace with the affair it doesn’t make the affair okay. Also, nobody asked for Katherine’s opinon. Pretty sure she’d tell everyone where to stick if if they’d did though.

I feel like Gary is representing the audience in this episode, i.e. me. I don’t think the writers needed to muddy the water with Gary’s issues with marriage, his parents divorce and his birthday. I understand Jon and Delilah were his shining example of marriage bliss, but we didn’t need to make this about his childhood trauma. His anger was warranted by itself. Delilah and Eddie did an awful thing.

We need to move it along with Maggie’s storyline. She’s the friends-with-benefit-rando-friend-everyone-just-met-but-pretend-like-they’ve-known-her-since-always. Her impermanence in all of these people’s lives makes the level she’s included in things... odd. Let’s get the cancer out in the open and solidify her relationships - particularly with Gary. 

Blindspot (“Hella Duplicitous”)

Jane's hair is long. That's how ya know she's evil again

Seriously how do they not know Remi is back? She's so cranky. Jane is much more cheerful. Also, I feel like her voice is three octaves lower.

Remi can fight with samurai swords. Who knew? A list of all of her skills would be great.

Do I call her Remi or Jane y'all? I'm going with Remi for now.

Remi's impression of Jane being worried about Kurt was pretty spot on. Well played evil one.

Anyone else enjoying Remi looking all murdery every time anyone mentions Roman is dead? Same girl. Except I'm sad Luke Mitchell isn't on the show anymore not murdery because that'd be weird.

Jane's dying except she's Remi so like that's a double dose of suck.

Oh score. Cure. This is like Elena being vampire. They'll fix it. I ain't worried. Imma gonna get Jeller babies. Or should I say PLEEEEEEEEEASE give me Jeller babies.

OH MY GOD SHE'S HALLUCINATING ROMAN. Luke Mitchell IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so here for Roman being the crazy voice in Jane/Remi's head.

Sorry Remi. Your super evil terrorist group is canceled. Sorry not sorry girl. Watch Season 1-Season 3 and catch up girl.

Two Sandstorm operatives is more like a club than a terrorist group, but okay Remi. Gotta start somewhere I guess.

It's weird that the cure is re-erasing Remi's memories but also let's re-erase Remi's memories. I ain't a fan.

Damn. Blake is dead? That... was unexpected. Okay so now I'm imagining that Blake and Roman are happy in heaven together. Leave me to my dream.

Kurt is scared... I love you my cupcake.

Wiping her memory and meeting Kurt Weller was the best thing that ever happened to Remi because she's not nice and Jane is awesome. Kudos to Blindspot for reinforcing their central love story while also wreaking absolute havoc on it.

Is Zapata evil now? Is everybody evil now?

Weitz is director. Ugh.

"You can't keep watching me all the time." Girl, he does that when you are totally healthy. Kurt Weller giving Jane fuzzy bunny stares is the show. Seriously, someone show Remi S1-S3.

Haha. She squeezed Kurt too hard to hurt him. What a bitch. Also awesome.

Zapata's smile when she sees Reade on TV. Girl go home.

Rich and Patterson are gonna cure Jane using Santa magic and it's gonna be friggin awesome.

Reciting the wedding video is creepy Remi.

Noooo.... don't break out Mama Shepherd. She be crazier than you Remi and at this point that's saying A LOT. 

[roman-reigns-princess]

I Know Your Heart (M'Baku x Female Jabari Reader)

Writing Masterlist Read it on Wattpad

Summary: A short M’Baku fic where he leaves for Challenge Day without telling his wife, and she’s, understandably, upset with him, but she sees that he needs comfort and reassurance more than a scolding. Ofc there’s a little smut in there.

Warnings: 18+/NSFW, unprotected sex (wear those condoms, yall), also some fluff??, probably a little unrealistic cause at one point they’re laying naked on a balcony......up in them snowy mountains. dont @ me

Word Count: 1096

A/N: I found this phrase in Xhosa "Ndiyazi kakuhle, ndiyazi zakho izono, ndiyazi intliziyo yakho-kwaye ndikuthanda" that means "I know you well, I know your sins, I know your heart-and I love you". I thought it was really sweet and I honestly just created this fic for that phrase. Please let me know if anything is problematic, or if I got a bad translation anywhere. I hope I did this justice.

As nightfall drew closer, your anger and your worry grew with it. You'd woken up that morning to find your husband, Lord M'Baku, missing from your bed, only to learn from the guards that, despite his reassurances, he had gone to challenge Prince T'Challa at the ceremony.

Over the following hours you had mentally prepared a whole speech you were going to give him when you got him alone, but the moment you saw him walk, more like limp, into throne room, one arm around one of his warrior's shoulders, your whole body flooded with relief, pushing out all your angry thoughts.

He stood up straighter when he saw you, trying to detach himself from his warrior. You rushed up to them, scanning your husband to see if he had any injuries that might need immediate attention. Once you were satisfied that he's survive a few more minutes, you stood back, giving him a look that only an exasperated wife could muster. His warriors took a step back, definitely fearful of their Lord's tiny wife; your temper could be worse than M'Baku's at times.

"So good to see you again, my dear husband," you said, crossing your arms as you glared up at him. M'Baku had the good sense to look guilty as he hung his head just the slightest.

"Sithandwa sam*, I meant to say something, but you just looked so peaceful sleeping this morning, I didn't want to wake you."

"Sweet talk won't work on me. Please take his Lordship to the infirmary, I'll deal with him when he can stand on his own two feet."

————————————

Half an hour later, M'Baku returned to your quarters looking like a kicked puppy. You sighed to yourself, knowing it was partially for show so that you wouldn't get mad at him, and despite all your efforts to remain angry, especially after his warriors told you the whole story, it was working on you.

You helped him remove his furs and leathers, then pushed him towards the shower. Grabbing a cloth, you cleaned the war paint off his body, making sure to take extra care when going over his bruises. Once it was all washed off, you started to step out of the shower, but M'Baku pulled you back in, thanking you and kissing you passionately as he pressed you up against the wall.

A hand slid up into your hair, gently tugging on your braids while his other fingers slipped between your legs to get you slick and stretched out for him. You couldn't help the moan that escaped as his lips moved down your throat, nipping at the sensitive flesh.

Your hips had a mind of their own, grinding your pelvis against his palm as his fingers massaged into you. Just as your release approached, he pulled away, making you whine desperately at your husband.

He chuckled softly, hoisting you up so that your knees hooked over his forearms. You slipped a hand down to guide him into you. He groaned roughly as he thrust into you, making you whimper as he bottomed out with the first thrust. He tried going slow at first, to give you time to adjust, but soon lost his patience.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, nails digging into his skin as you felt your release approaching. He growled words of encouragement against your lips, and his thrusts quickened, making you gasp and moan. Your back arched away from the wall, pushing you against M'Baku as your release hit you, forcing a cry from your lips. Your husband followed seconds later, burying himself in you one last time as he came.

————————————

It was a warm night, well as warm as it could get in the snowy mountains, and two of you lay naked, wrapped in a pile of furs M'Baku had set up on your balcony. You lay face up, watching the stars, and he was stretched out between your legs, head resting on your breasts. You fingers absentmindedly massaged his beard as you thought about the day's events.

"Why did you do it? You don't even want to be King."

"No, but I wasn't really thinking, I knew no one would challenge him, and I wanted to rattle those cat lovers, they grow placid, relying on their purple rocks," he said, lifting his head to look at you. "Besides, I brought up some good points, that child does scoff at tradition."

"That child is smarter than anyone else in the world, including you, mampara*," you mumbled the last part, but he narrowed his eyes at you anyways.

Despite wanting to chew him out even more, you decided to leave it at that. His pride was wounded enough as a warrior and a leader, you didn't need to cause him more pain; so you just pulled his head back down and continued to massage away until he lifted his head again.

"Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more for this tribe," he said, you looked up at him, confused. "We Jabari have stayed cut off from the rest of Wakanda, for what? Pride? Different Gods? I believe in upholding tradition, but we could also achieve so much more if we had relations with the rest of Wakanda."

"Careful, you're starting to sound like Princess Shuri," you teased, he gave you a look.

"This T'Challa is not like other kings of the past, for one he is a worthy opponent, and he is a good man; he could have killed me, but he didn't. It might be beneficial to us if we try negotiating with them. But I know the Elders will not like this, and I know they already think I'm a rash leader, if they can't trust me, why should anyone-," you cut him off with a kiss, not letting him go until you felt some of the tension release from his body.

"Ndiyazi kakuhle, ndiyazi zakho izono, ndiyazi intliziyo yakho-kwaye ndikuthanda*," you said, pressing your forehead against his as you looked him in the eye. "You are a good leader, everyone knows that, your warriors, your people, me. We trust you, and the decisions you make for our tribe. If the Elders can't see how good you are, it just means they are a bunch of cranky old fools who are stuck in the past, and if I have to beat some sense into them, I got my 'cathulo* ready."

M'Baku kissed you again, chuckling at your fiery words, he had no doubt that you would chase the Elders around with your own shoe.

*Sithandwa sam = my darling *Mampara = fool *'cathulo (isicathulo) = shoes/sandals *Ndiyazi kakuhle, ndiyazi zakho izono, ndiyazi intliziyo yakho-kwaye ndikuthanda = I know you well, I know your sins, I know your heart-and I love you

[mallowmarshstan]

Early Blooms and Late Blooms

A little one-shot (possibly) of the puberty headcanon I had (and so did another Tumblr user have an au similar ! :D ) 

Craig starts puberty early and before everyone else in the class. Craig faces the difficulties of puberty with Tweek by his side. Tweek, on the other hand, is a late bloomer.

It was the September of 6th Grade when everyone noticed a change in Craig. His face had been speckled in pimples, his hair under his hat became greasy, an onion-y odor seemed to follow him around, and his already tall height shot up even more. Craig’s parents had already sat him down and gave him the talk of the birds and the bees.

Laura Tucker looked at her eldest child sitting on their couch. “Well, Craig, you’re of that age now where changes happen.” “What kind of changes, Mom?” Craig asked flatly, he had already taken notice of everything going on with his body. Obviously. It was his body.

Laura shifted uncomfortably and sighed. She knew having a son would mean she’d have to give him the talk. She just never expected it to be so soon it felt like. She imagined her son sitting on the couch as the same little boy who begged for a guinea pig for his 6th birthday. 

“You know, Craig, with your body and the changes you’re experiencing…..Thomas, YOU tell him! You’re the man!” Laura glared at her tall husband.

“Why the hell should I tell him?! YOUR mom was the nurse!” Thomas Tucker’s eyebrows furrowed. The topic of puberty being a touchy subject for everyone.

The Tuckers began to argue and flip each other off. Craig quietly went upstairs to avoid his parent’s screaming match. It was normal for them to argue and yell but probably not normal for other families. At least that’s what Craig thought. He knew Kenny’s parents would beat the shit out of each other. The Tucker’s fighting never got that bad though. 

Laura yelled up the stairs after her only son. “Craig!! From now on if Tweek spends the night he’ll have to sleep on the floor!! I don’t want any funny business, Mister!”

Funny business?

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Days at school was a living hell for Craig. The other boys teased him and the girls avoided him like the plague even though he was gay. Everyone knew that.  Craig was in a committed relationship with Tweek Tweak. Craig didn’t give a fuck what people thought of him. It was a natural thing for the body to do at a certain age. And if anyone didn’t like it they could fuck off. Especially Stan and those assholes.  

Tweek didn’t mind his boyfriend’s change because, for the most part, Craig was still the same Craig.  He was still the same monotone nasally voice black haired beauty he loved. Craig still was there to calm Tweek down when he got too freaked out or when he got too angry at something. At lunch, Tweek still sat next to Craig. Craig’s friends, Clyde, Token, Jimmy, and Jason ignored him until he invested in some deodorant. They hoped it was soon. So, they sat at another table. Tweek figured if Craig could handle his panic attacks and coffee breath, he himself could handle Craig’s body odor. It was awful though. Tweek could not deny that.

Tweek sat next to his boyfriend and looked at him adoringly. “Craig? Can I -NGH- ask you something? Jesus, don’t be mad!”

“Yes, Tweek?” Craig looked up from his bag of chips.

“Are aliens laying eggs in your face? And that’s what those red blotches are?” Tweek scooted away from Craig just a bit.

Craig rolled his eyes and glared at the twitching blonde and said nasally. Aliens in his face? He wondered what went on inside Tweek’s head.

“No, Tweek. Aliens are not laying eggs in my face. They’re called pimples. It’s normal for puberty. You’ll get them too.”

Tweek’s jaw dropped a little. “Puberty?! I thought we weren’t supposed to get that until later on?!”

“I must have started early,”, Craig shrugged, “By the way, my parents said that when we have our sleepovers we can’t sleep together. You have to sleep on the floor. But, I’ll take the floor. You can take the bed.”

“Why can’t we sleep together anymore?! Did I do something wrong? OH GOD!” Tweek’s hand reached for his hair to pull at.

Craig caught his boyfriend’s hand in time and held it. Craig knew exactly why his parents told him not to sleep in bed with Tweek. His body had started going through strange changes. Craig blushed at the thought of what had happened a few times at night and how he woke up with sticky sheets. Instead of answering Tweek’s question and going through a big awkward explanation, Craig simply shrugged.

Lunch was silent after that, except for the strange noises Tweek made. Craig was used to it though. When he first met Tweek it annoyed him but he quickly found them endearing.  Craig kept looking over at his boyfriend and couldn’t for the life of him find anything sexually appealing about him. He was cute and adorable but not sexy. Tweek was attractive but Craig had no desire to try anything more than just hugs and kisses with his boyfriend. Tweek and Craig had watched porn together a few times but it was weird and they both agreed they could never do what the men on the screen did. That was before Craig started puberty and even now that he had started puberty he still couldn’t imagine Tweek that way. It was already weird that Tweek only came up to his shoulder now. Craig had always been tall but now this was just ridiculous.

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On Fridays, Tweek and Craig had sleepovers at the Tucker’s. Their sleepovers crept into Saturdays and almost Sunday nights. Tweek’s parents were too tired from the busy week at the coffee shoppe to host a sleepover.  It was always the Tucker house where they had their sleepovers. The Tweaks creeped Craig out and he just knew something was off about Richard Tweak. Craig just couldn’t put his finger on it.  Plus, Craig hated coffee and that’s what the Tweak’s drank with every meal. How Tweek’s kidneys hadn’t shut down yet baffled Craig.

Tweek sat in Craig’s room and looked into Stripe the guinea pig’s cage. This was Stripe #8.  Tweek’s blonde freshly wet hair from the shower flatly sat on Tweek’s head. It was similar to when South Park went through their metrosexual phase and Craig had to hold Tweek down to gel his hair down. Craig and Tweek used to sneak and take showers together to save on the hot water but since Craig started puberty that was a real no-no. Back then it was different. Craig missed those days.  Tweek was curious about what Craig’s body looked like now but was too freaked out by it all to suggest a shared shower.

Craig came up behind his boyfriend silently from his own shower and gently placed his hand on Tweek’s shoulder. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

Craig’s voice cracked.

“WHAT THE FUCK!!,” Tweek threw his arms in the hair and shook uncontrollably, not realizing that it was his lovely boyfriend behind him and not a robber.

Craig quickly spun the computer chair around so Tweek could face him. He had known better than to sneak up behind his boyfriend. “Babe, calm down. It’s me. My voice cracked.  It’s still me. Calm down.”

Tweek’s greenish hazel eyes were wide with terror and one twitched, he was breathing heavily and his face was white as a ghost. Craig held his boyfriend close to his chest and gently rocked the smaller boy’s body. Tweek slowly stopped twitching and relaxed in his boyfriend’s arms.

“That scared me.”

“I know.”

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Later that night Craig had set up pillows and blankets on the floor of his bed. He insisted Tweek take the bed. Craig honestly didn’t want to sleep on the floor but he didn’t want Tweek to wake up with a puddle of stickiness on his lower back. Not only would that be awkward and embarrassing but Craig was certain Tweek would freak out and claim that he was probed in the night and an alien left fluid on him. Something along those lines. Craig never knew that odd thing Tweek would come up with next. Craig got onto the floor and looked up at his bed with the space sheets, the Red Racer ones were in the wash. Thank you, puberty.

Tweek finally spoke. “Craig? Please, can we cuddle? My room has a night light and yours’ doesn't. And it’s scary and what if-”

“No, Tweek. You’ll be fucking fine. Goodnight,” Craig cut his boyfriend off. His hormones had made him very easily annoyed and with a certain twitchy paranoid blonde around him always, he was like a firework ready to explode sometimes. He didn’t want to be harsh to Tweek but it was already bad enough he was sleeping on the floor. He was exhausted from school. He just wanted to go to bed. With or without Tweek at his side. Craig knew he could be stubborn and now was one of those times. 

The rest of the night Craig was kept awake with the sniffles and whimpers of his favorite blonde.

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“What do you mean you’re not going to spend the night again?” Craig asked as he watched Tweek pack up his clothes into his backpack. Tweek was still in his pajamas but had pulled on his sneakers.

Tweek whirled around and looked up at Craig. “You made me cry last night! And you didn’t even care! -NGH- You asshole!”

“You’re being a child. Just stay and eat breakfast and see what happen!,” Craig frowned and reached for Tweek’s backpack.

The blonde jerked away from his boyfriend and walked to the door. “Just because you’re a puberty monster doesn’t mean I’m a fucking child, CRAIG.”

Craig rolled his eyes and followed Tweek, “Babe… I’m sorry and I love you.”

“I love you too,” Tweek stopped in his tracks and smiled a little. Those three words were all he needed to hear to ease his frustration.

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That night after watching movies and eating pizza, Craig and Tweek sat in Craig’s room. It was odd because things were still strained between them.  The Tuckers didn’t drink coffee in their house and that made for an irritable and cranky Tweek. Normally Tweek could bring a few thermoses of coffee with him but this time he forgot.

“I’m tired,” Tweek finally said with a yawn.

Craig stood up, “Yeah, me too.”, He looked down at his favorite person in the world and smiled a little. He did miss cuddling with Tweek last night. Tweek was like a human hot blanket and Craig got cold easily.

“Well...goodnight then,” Tweek got into the bed and much to his surprise Craig followed him.

Craig wrapped his arms around Tweek. “Goodnight, honey. Don’t tell my parents.”

“BUT I THOUGHT!!” The coffee-addicted Tweek shot up and gripped the sheets.

Craig pressed his lips to Tweek’s to hush him up and slowly pulled away with a shhh. Tweek stayed quiet and nodded. Kisses always made Tweek silent.

“It’ll be okay. Just don’t tell my parents,” Craig assured Tweek. Although, he was unsure of his own words.

Tweek nodded and curled himself close to Craig’s body and gently stroked his black-haired boyfriend’s side until he fell asleep. Craig held his precious yet feisty Tweek close and looked at his face loving and slowly fell asleep.

Much to Craig’s surprise, Tweek thankfully didn’t wake up to alien probing liquid on his lower back.

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Months passed and sure enough, the other boys in the class started puberty.  The classrooms smelled like petting zoos and onions. The only person who seemed to be left behind in the puberty was dear Tweek. Even Butters surpassed Tweek. The girls got breasts and each became moody one a month. The boys had deep voices that cracked and sometimes put books over their laps in the middle of class. The other students would knock Tweek down in the halls. Tweek was naturally tiny but now he was an easy target. He wanted to stand up for himself but he figured it wasn’t any use. Craig defended him though, like a good boyfriend.  Tweek knew Craig was easily annoyed by him so Tweek tried to keep his paranoia to himself. It didn’t work. Craig still had his monotone nasal voice but just a few octaves deeper. Tweek didn’t understand why he hadn’t started puberty. He was almost 14 and nothing had happened. He longed for pimples and body hair growth. Craig had awkwardly told him about the weird dreams and waking up with puddles of stickiness on his sheets. It was an odd subject but Tweek wanted to know everything about it. And just because Tweek was his favorite person, Craig told Tweek everything about his wet dreams.

The other boys in school would brag about how many times a week they would masturbate. The biggest asshole of the class, Eric Cartman, would sometimes pop his pimples in the direction of his frenemy Kyle and had the goop hit him.

“You fucking asshole, Cartman!” Kyle yelled.

Tweek looked around the classroom to take in everyone’s different bodies. There was Craig who shot up to 6′0 and seemed to be growing every day. He shaved regularly so he had a fresh face but still had pimples. Clyde had gained weight and stood at about 5′8, he had a few acne blemishes from his food choices but his father got him Accutane.  Wendy was stunning. She was slim but kept her dark hair short. She had zero pimples but refused to shave her body hair as a statement. Her boyfriend, Stan, was grossed out by the idea at first but stayed with her. Stan, himself, was covered in leg and arm hair and a weak mustache on his upper lip which his dad would joke that he must have been hit with dirt. Kyle had zero pimples, much like Wendy, and seemed to be short compared to his friends. His body hair was red and everyone called him fire-crotch. Eric Cartman was a whopping 280 and about only 5′7. His face was covered in acne and he was trying to grow a neckbeard. He smelled like Cheeto dust and ham farts. Kenny was long and lanky and stole razors from the pharmacy to shave his body and face. Token’s voice had deepened and it was smooth. Nearly every girl crushed on him. He was tall, dark and handsome. Jimmy, as well, was handsome. With only a scattering of acne on his forehead. His stuttering voice was cracked regularly. Bebe was one word: thicc. Then there was Butters. Butters was still as sweet and naive as he had always been, just 6 foot tall.  Tweek ignored most of the girls and their physical accomplishments because they didn’t interest him. Only Wendy and Bebe did. Wendy was a friend of his and Bebe was his cousin. Tweek seemed to be a kitten in a group of lions. 

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“You’re just a late bloomer, honey,” Mrs.Tweak would say as she poured coffee into her son’s mug, not realizing that the coffee had stunted her son’s growth.

“Don’t worry about it, babe. You’ll go through puberty eventually. Remember what Mulan’s dad said to her? The late blossoms bloom the most beautiful or something? That’s gonna be you,” Craig would say monotone as he gently ruffled his boyfriend’s hair, unsure of what to do with Tweek without it being awkward and uncomfortable for the both of them.

“You know, son, I was a late bloomer myself. Late, like the pansy flower who, with proper care, will bloom late into the year. The pansy beautiful and soft like out mild blends here at Tweak coffee. Coffee that is gentle like the cool breeze on an autumn day,” Richard Tweek would say leaned against the kitchen counter as he drank his mug. Comparing the situation to a pansy flower did not help at all.

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It was frustrating for Tweek to walk in the hallways holding Craig’s hand and all the other kids being at least a head taller than him. It was also frustrating that he came up to almost everyone’s shoulders and the general armpit area. After gym class really fucking sucked.

“Hey, babe? Is that a zit?” Craig leaned down with a smile to examine Tweek’s face, “Holy shit! It is!”

Tweek brightened up and smiled, exposing a few gapped teeth. “OhmyGod! Craig! A pimple? Does that mean?”

“Babe, I think you’re about to start puberty!” Craig put his hands on his boyfriend’s face and felt around for more.

Sure enough, Tweek started puberty soon after and Craig and Tweek faced the awkward struggles of puberty together.

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also did you notice I really suck at punctuating dialogue?