#I like to believe despite this fussiness

[chloesimaginationthings]

Okay, but Elizabeth being an absolute savage girlboss isn't something that's talked about enough.

Love how you're spitting facts for our girly pop. 💪💪💪

TBH I go off the personality baby has, and gotta assume some of that sass is definitely Elizabeth

[tender-rosiey]

smack, smack — gojo satoru x f!reader

a/n: special thanks to the beautiful @stinkyme for inspiring me to actually write this and for fangirling over the idea with me <3

gojo satoru, like any dad, got his fair share of ‘bullying’ from his daughter, his 5 months old baby.

some dads get peed on, others get their hair pulled, and others get their nose bitten on the daily. it's a little something to make them suffer a bit like the mothers had to during the pregnancy.

your husband, however, is always getting smacked in the face whenever he has his blindfold on, and I mean harshly smacked in the face and unforgiving scratching.

the first time it happened was when he was going to school. he was ready, uniform on and everything, but he simply had to say goodbye to his two girls.

skipping to your shared bedroom, he placed two big smooches on your face. then, after much of pulling him off you, he went to smooch his little girl. a big unmatched grin was on his face as he looked down at her in her crib.

he picked her up, cooing softly at her, “what a pretty girl, just as pretty as your mama, huh?”

satoru then laid her gently against his chest and started rocking her softly, while humming. after a while, he felt her stir a little in his arms. she sleepily looks up at him, and he smiles down at her, “good morning, baby—“

now, your daughter was used to seeing her dad without the blindfold. she was used to getting met by her dad's bright blue eyes.

so when a strange unknown man was holding her up instead of her papa, she started wailing and screaming, repeatedly smacking him in the face.

whenever her little—strong—hand landed on the blindfold, she would try to pull it off with all her baby might. you scrambled out of your bed at the loud screeches and screams of both your husband and your daughter.

you saw how satoru was desperately trying to, as gently as possible, make her release her grip. you stumbled on your words, before yelling, “your blindfold! take off your blindfold off!”

“I! am! trying!” he yelps as she continues slapping the hell out of his face.

you hurry and take his blindfold off, swiftly throwing it to the side. he started rocking her, smiling despite the red marks and scratches all over his handsome face, “it’s me, daddy! you see me?”

almost magically, your daughter calmed down in an instant with the occasional hiccup from her previous crying. he smiled, “there you go; that’s my girl.”

she gently made grabby hands at him, and he quickly pulled her back into his chest. your daughter instantly snuggled into his shoulder and hid her face in his neck.

you stared at him for a moment, “well, at least we know that she bloody hates that blindfold.”

it honestly kind of adds up.

you remember the many times that your daughter was generally distressed or fussy and instantly calmed down when she saw her dad’s eyes. you also remember that one time your daughter was actually zoning out while looking at satoru’s eyes, her own safe place.

satoru chuckles with a shrug, “I have you as my savior, anyway.”

“you can’t always count on me to be the one to save you from our daughter’s monstrously strong grip.”

and he can’t.

no one is brave enough to try and to fight back a baby, let alone the strongest sorcerer’s baby.

that attack happens way more than satoru would like. for example, whenever you’re busy, he takes his little princess to the school with him. in general, everyone helps in taking care of the little angel (devil in some cases).

however, god forbid she sees satoru coming back from a mission with his blindfold on.

it took some time for your husband to learn his lesson and immediately take his blindfold off before he entered the school. until then, he was prone to his daughter’s crazy strong hand smacking his face till his entire face is painted red and not the cute kind.

satoru never believed in his students to save him, except for yuuji. the first time it happened around the students, most of them were either laughing or speechless.

yuuji did try to save his sensei from his smacking machine of a daughter, but ended up getting smacked himself.

your husband did hope that, maybe, nanami’s heart would soften, and he would finally help him.

nanami’s heart did soften, just not for satoru. instead, your daughter now has a special soft spot in nanami’s heart, as he did in hers, but that isn’t our topic for today.

the amount of times you would enter the room to find nanami chuckling or smiling at your husband getting beaten to a pulp by your baby. satoru could be sobbing, “nanami, please! save me!”

and nanami would simply smile—sadistically—and hum, “I don’t think I will.”

you’re pretty sure that nanami believes this is god’s way of punishing your husband for all the mischief he caused.

ignoring that, it grips your heart how satoru’s face would brighten up the moment he saw you. he would run up to you, giving you the baby to calm her down while he gives his face a rest.

and your little girl was smiling and giving you her version of cheek kisses.

your husband recovered quickly though, and took her back, his blindfold finally off. he doesn’t do it without pecking your lips though, “my savior.”     

then he gets lost in his own world with his little girl, and their laughs and giggles filled the room. her hands were gently holding her dad’s face as she squeals, and satoru’s heart soars as he forgets about his beating from a moment ago.

now, that doesn’t mean that his dear students don’t make fun of him for always losing against his little girl. during one of the recent teasings, he simply huffed, “you never tried the grip of a baby! tell them, yuuji!”

yuuji shudders as he remembers how long the slap mark lasted, “she is one hell of a strong baby.”

it’s one thing for panda and nobara to laugh, it’s another for megumi and maki to do so as well. your husband’s ego simply couldn’t take it anymore. he took his baby in his arms and gathered the baby bags, sparing one last glance at his ‘bullies’.

and so your husband dramatically exits the room, “I need my wife! I can’t with you people anymore!”

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copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

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[foldingfittedsheets]

Hands down one of the greatest magics my beloved brings to our relationship is being a doctor of acupuncture. When we first started dating I was somewhat skeptical of the practice. I’d had friends who swore by it but I’ve always been terribly put off by needles. It definitely wasn’t for me.

But I couldn’t help but notice how easily they banished a headache just by putting pressure on my feet or made my nausea dry up by pressing around my shins. Their medicine felt like witchcraft. I sidled closer to their sorcery the longer we were together. The tipping point was about three months into dating when my spine went out.

I’ve had back problems since I was 11 and every few months my spine liked to jump out of alignment and completely debilitate me for a week or two. This has been significantly mitigated by doing core exercises and working out so it’s a less constant problem now, thank goodness. Core muscles are important y’all.

When my back struck this time I still hobbled over to their house for date night. They took one look at me and begged me to let them work on it. At that point, nothing could possibly have hurt worse than my own spine, so I submitted.

It was incredible. Within an hour from treatment the pain had dissipated to a mild annoyance. Two weeks of suffering, instantly mitigated. I couldn’t believe it. After that I got a little bolder, letting them treat other ailments and soliciting help before problems blew up which was even more beneficial.

I let them needle my face for anxiety once and was floored to realize that a needle point between the eyes felt like Calm Emotions had just been cast on me. A weighted blanket of serenity settled on my whole body. It’s my favorite acupuncture point now.

But despite this I’ve remained a fussy patient, nervous and flighty. I take a little coddling through treatments but I’ve expanded what I can tolerate a great deal. More needles, more sensitive areas, all have been slow milestones for me.

Today they treated me and a friend of ours in exchange for that friend working on their neck. My arms have both been acting up as my hand ailment has tightened it’s way up my arm rather than down, then spread to my other arm.

There’s something called “trigger point release” that I’ve never been brave enough to handle. But laid out on the table I insisted, “I want to feel better.” It’s indescribable what they did. Trigger points don’t… hurt exactly. It’s more like touching the raw nerve and feeling a jolt of energy along the muscles. It’s shocking and your brain doesn’t like it but it’s not pain.

Afterward it’s normal to feel sore and achey, and I do. Still, I can’t help but laugh. It took eight years for me to get comfortable enough being needled to brave this. A treatment that people just walk in the door and lay down for on their first time with my beloved took me eight years.

[greycaelum]

Please this reminded me of kaleidoscope. I believe that the gojo kids are chunky babys🤣🤣

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8P9MEGg/

TRUEEEEEE~ I didn't get to give you anything last week so I'll make it a drabble~ I hope you like it! Chonky sunshine babies~ Happy December everyone!!

CW: suggestive hints at the end, nothing too much~

Kouki had breast milk for his whole first year.

"He's chonky..." Satoru rubbed his face against the squishy mallowy, chompable cheeks of his 10-month-old son you are feeding on your rocking chair by the engawa of your home. Satoru is sitting on the floor while watching you nurse the little boy close to drifting into dreamland.

Kouki has always had a good appetite and was very easy to nurse. So much so that you had to start scheduling his feeding or else if you didn't he would be too chonky and too heavy to lift.

"Can we keep him just like this? Look he's the most precious thing you probably have seen in your life!" Satoru rested his chin on your knees and flashed you his puppy eyes trying to convince you to feed the little mochi more.

"Chonky baby is cute but he'll drain me if I just let him." You kissed the thin sheen of hair on your son's head, as white as snow like his father. Kouki's lashes fluttered, unlatching from you, and he scrunched his nose to snuggle in your chest, yawning for a bit before closing his drowsy eyes back to sleep.

"I'll burp him, lemme..." Satoru opened his arms and gently rubbed Kouki's back. It didn't take long for the little mochi to burp. For some reason, he always burps fast when it's his Papa.

"Satoru don't!"

Chomp

Your eyes widen at your husband sneaking in a bite to the sleeping baby's cheeks, too cute to resist utterly waking a grumpy sleepy mochi.

"Satoru!"

Satoru rubbed the back of his head as he tried to soothe the little mochi up.

"Sorry Honey, he was just too cute to resist."

Saika although a pretty small baby has also been breastfed a year and 2 months because it took her quite a while to get used to formula.

It's 2:30 am and it's the Little Treasure's time for milk. Satoru is away for an overseas mission so you have to deal with the night feeding as well. Tired and reluctant, you parted ways with your soft pillow to reach for the bassinet only to be met with an empty space.

Chill ran down your spine as you shot up in panic only to be met by the scene of your drowsy husband sitting on your rocking chair with Saika in his arms suckling on her milk bottle.

"Go back to sleep Honey, I'll put her back after she finishes." Satoru yawned and smiled softly in your direction.

"But you haven't slept yet..." You felt relieved your daughter wasn't fussy. The little one is a little more sensitive and has been quite protected because of the incident before her birth.

"It's fine, look she's too precious when she drinks milk, I can't possibly take my eyes off her." Satoru grinned down at his daughter, suckling despite asleep. "She's so tiny... So precious..." He murmured as he held the bottle of milk for her. "She's perfect."

You smiled at them bonding in the wee hours of dawn as you returned to sleep. By the next morning, it came as no surprise to see Satoru cramped inside Saika's crib, sound asleep as the little Treasure blinked up to you innocently holding her empty milk bottle.

"Ma..mma!"

Bonus:

"What are you looking at?" You warily glanced at your husband when you asked him to help you with the hook of your bra since it's hard for you to reach. Pregnancy for the third time has made you quite adept in asking him for help since if you won't he will pester you and follow you around until he gets to help you with something.

Satoru hummed and kissed your nape, looking at the mirror as he hugged you from the back with his face slotted in the space of your shoulder. A proud smile adorned his lips as he slowly reached to cup your heavy breast and his other hand protectively caress your heavy baby bump sending shivers down your spine.

"You're so sexy, Honey." Satoru praised you peppering kisses to your skin as he sucks on your neck leaving a love bite before staring back at your reflection in the mirror with a satisfied smirk at your flushed state. "If your milk comes before the babies, can I have a taste test first?"

—GreyCaelum

PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME

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All rights and credits of the Jujutsu Kaisen character(s) mentioned images(s) and songs(s) used, belongs to their respective owner(s)

General/Kaleidoscope Series Taglist: @ice-icebaby @aeanya @gummy-dummy @tender-rosiey @lexiene @nevermoresworld @loml-riri @pelicanpizza @emichou-chan

[izvmimi]

cw: canon deviation. time-skip (post demon slaying). babies. fem!reader.

“And what are you looking at?”

Genya is known for how intimidating he can be, but the round-cheeked, giggling child held at eye level between his hands right now will never see anything other than a loving father no matter how intensely he pretends to glare at him. The giggly ball of dough, practically hairless still despite nearly three months and a half in the world, kicks its feet and Genya smiles, helplessly charmed, before blowing a raspberry into his cheek and lowering him into his lap.

“Those Shinaguzawa family genes are no joke,” your friend jokes. She’s been watching the baby carefully for the past few minutes since she and Tanjiro entered the home, bearing gifts of cloth diapers and handmade quilt blankets, among other soft things. Genya is quickly defensive, reminding her for the nth time that your son has your nose, but you laugh to dispel the tension. After all, she’s right. The baby’s eyes are practically the same as his father's and his uncle's, although when he smiles ear to ear, his eyes close like yours do. 

“He looks just like his daddy,” you agree. You’re still setting your dining table for six and your friends have gotten up to help you pour tea for six, and collect plates of dorayaki, senbei and edamame to set at the table.

Sanemi chuckles, adjusting his sitting position on the tatami.

“I mean, I think we deserve that much,” he says, gruffly, as he supports himself. You know what he means, and nod solemnly without additional comment while his wife squeezes his shoulder before disappearing to follow you. Your friends have congratulated you after the birth of your first child multiple times, having taken turns assisting you right after delivery, but you haven’t seen them in a month or so, and adjusting to your new life has been rewarding but difficult. One of them fills your pantry with dried goods while the other scans the premises for anywhere that she can clean or reinforce. You thank them, a smile on your face.

“We’re doing great. Genya takes good care of me, don’t worry,” you remind them, and they have no problems believing it. 

Your baby thankfully isn’t fussy, and Genya is a surprisingly adept father, quick to learn the basics of bottle feeding and diapering, and making sure your house is clean and comfortable to live in. Living in relative poverty as a child made him work hard and be frugal, experiencing tragedy made him thoughtful and protective, and he does his absolute best to take care of you. 

He’d always promised to take care of you as long as you both lived.

When you return to the entertainment room, your friends and you settling next to the men you’ve chosen, you lay your head on Genya’s shoulder, thankful that he’s the one that you chose, and he chose you just the same.

…

Sanemi and his wife stay the night, and once everyone has turned in from the night and your son is sleeping peacefully in his bassinet, you lay in bed, wrapped warm in Genya’s arms. 

“We need a nephew or niece of our own, don’t you think?” you muse. “Gotta get them in the sack faster before they can’t catch up to us.”

Genya snorts, pressing his chin on the soft of your shoulder as he holds you closer. 

“That’s their business,” he murmurs, gruffly. “By the way, tell your friend to stop calling our kid ‘tofu’.”

You giggle. “Has it been bothering you?”

“Yes or I wouldn’t be bringing it up right now.”

“I think it’s cute,” you tease, turning in his hold. He’s surprised by the sudden movement, you can tell, by the red in your cheeks. “What?”

Genya blinks, then kisses your forehead. “Nothing.”

“Is something on my face?” you ask. 

“No. You’re beautiful.” You beam at this, then pull the covers tighter around your body.

“You’re a good dad, Genya,” you remind him.  You’re not sure that he needs to hear it, but you want to reassure him. He’s heard tip after tip from his older brother today and you overheard Sanemi telling him his mother would be proud of him. You hope it sinks in because she would, and you wonder if he’s still mulling over the thought.

The sweet child nicknamed ‘tofu’ to his father’s chagrin sleeps through the night with parents that love him more than anything on earth, because they love each other more than life itself.

[strayflowersstarsandlove]

Honey bee (dad!hanjisung)

The whole "favourite parent" theory never really convinced you to the fullest, not with how much Daisy was obsessed with her father, her very first word being "dada!", the biggest rounded eyes looking excitedly at him, her cute little mouth just a happy happy o shape as she tuned to her dad when you had first asked her to try and say the word, which nearly brought Jisung to tears right then and there.

With you being the parent that was at home the most though, you were quite used to being wrapped around her little finger, catering to her every need, helping her and caring for her through her trickiest nights and seasonal flu.

Jisung tried his very very best at being as present as possible and not miss on any important milestones such as her first word, which had happened fairly recently, or the first few little steps she walked from your seated figure to him, resting his bum on the carpet, opposite you, both of your arms outstretched for her shall she stumble on her little feet. He was there. Overjoyed.

Whenever he came home from work, be it at 2 in the morning or 4 in the afternoon, he always made sure to go and see his baby, even if it was for a little bit, like his lunch break or five minutes before going to bed, he always stuck to his habit of just taking a few minutes to just look at her, kiss her cheek, play with her or have a cuddle if she was awake.

And Daisy must have developed a sixth sense for that, even for a toddler as young as barely one year old, she just knew whenever her dad was about to come home. And she would become just a liiiiiitle restless and fussy with either excitement or desperate anticipation. Hence you secretly started to believe perhaps he was the favourite parent, probably cause she loved him so, and missed him just as much, despite his best efforts.

Tonight was just one of those nights, Jisung had literally just gotten home not even 3 hours ago, it was way past her bed time but none of you had the heart to deny either of you some bonding family time, or better yet father and daughter quality time.

He had postponed his shower and his unpacking and just picked her up from the floor where she was playing quietly with you, and smothered her little face with kisses and hugged her and hold her and played with her for as long as possible before she required a nappy change and the delayed night time routine.

Neither of you felt like you were being bad parents. Routines and regular sleeping schedules were important but so is being patient and lenient, understanding of your child needs and yours as parents too. A little indulgence and some extra cuddles never hurt anyone.

Bathed and half way through her bottle, baby Daisy was having a hard time concentrating on the soft lullaby bed time story you were reading her, she kept rubbing her small chubby knuckles into her eyes and half giggling cause she was too awake and eager, kept fidgeting and twitching in her sleeveless sleep sack she usually loved being swaddled in.

"Ah I see, you're not so sleepy tonight are you? Silly little bloom you are", you giggle at her cute happy and definitely more than alert face, gently pinching her rosy cheeks, "is someone just so excited dada's home? Shall we go see him? Shall we have dada sing you to sleep tonight?", you suggest rhetorically, knowing that even though she can't fully grasp what you're saying she definitely understands any mention of her father.

With a little huffing and puffing from the effort, you roll over onto the side and get up from her little bed wich you had squeezed yourself in, you unzip her sleeping sack and pick her up, gently brushing away her satiny soft wisps of dark brown hair, just barely curling at the tips, you balance her on your hip, careful to distribute her weight evenly so you don't strain yourself, and slowly pad into the corridor and then into your master bedroom where you find your husband folding his clothes into the closet, his suitcases now empty, discarded on the floor beside the bed.

"Knock knock? A certain daisy bloom is requesting her sweet honey bee to help her sleep tonight", you announce playfully as you cup your daughter's little hand and help her knock on the door, Jisung spins around with a start, his face immediately lighting up, "oh goodness!", he muses excitedly, dropping whatever shirt he was trying to neatly fold in his lap.

He walks over to you, grinning from ear to ear, and gently lifts Daisy from your arms and into his, holding her close to his chest so he can place a fluttery stream of kisses into her hair, "is it true Deiji girl? you want Dada?", he coos, sitting on the edge of the bed, relishing in the way his baby girl latches onto him, her little arms and hands trying to grip onto his neck as she squeaks happily, "da-dda", she blubbers, burying her face into his chest.

He shoots you the puppy eyes, his bottom lip trembling, the look on his face so devastatingly amazed and touched, which you reciprocate, clutching your own chest, watching as he cuddles her closer while he scoots on the bed so he can rest his back onto the bed frame, the baby not even shifting into his arms, her ear pressed onto his pectoral, perhaps a subconscious reminiscence of when she used to do that as a newborn.

Endless were the days when Jisung wouldn't dare breathing too loud, scared he would disturb her sleep, and would hold her like that for hours on end, the tiny shell of her ear pressed onto his hearbeat, his hands rubbing her back ever so lightly in soothing motion, his lips brushing her head every once in a while in a dream like state, or a suppressing-his- leg - cramps - and- impeding- need- to- pee- and- breathe- normally- hazy state. For there was no way in hell he was going to move and wake her up.

Fatherhood. What an immense blessing to have been bestowed upon him. Jisung was the most wonderful father despite the demands of his tight working schedules, he had been pouring himself out for your daughter from day one, and you had been witnessing him blossoming into his nurturing calling just like his first baby name's sake.

"You guys... I'm going to cry", you mumble, feeling suddenly very emotional at the scene before you, "me too... oh... how I missed her", Jisung sniffles, snuggling his baby tightly but still carefully enough so he doesn't crush her, "she's so cuddly I'm going to die", he adds then, holding her up closer to his face so he can kiss her cheeks and her forehead and the tip her nose and her cheeks again and her nose again.

"You are the best cuddler in the whole world you know that sweetheart?", he says softly, gazing into his daughter boba brown eyes, a miniature version of his own eyes, along with the squishiest cheeks and poutiest lips she inherited straight from him as well, whereas she had your nose and your chin and seemingly your hair, the perfect tiny combination of both of you guys' genes.

Daisy tilts her head to the side and slabbers a little, adorable loud giggles escaping her mouth, "dadda eeppyy", she gabbles, trying to stand on her tippy toes in Jisung's lap, whose hands hover over her small frame, catching her whenever she wobbles unsteadily, "dada's sleepy? Yeah, I am sleepy. Is Daisy sleepy too? Shall we go night night?", he says sweetly, smiling proudly, elated at just how bright and smart and cute his daughter is, "ya", she says in her tiny voice, trying to nod lightly, mimicking a small yawn after.

"Okay, night night we go then. Let's say bye bye to omma and sissy first! Say night night mommy, night night sissy!", Jisung instructs tenderly, brushing her hair with his fingers and then gently guiding her to you so she can crawl over and cup your cheeks in her little hands:" nah nah mam-mah", she babbles, her aim a little off when she tries to kiss your cheek and ends up slobbering all over your face.

Which you can't help but laugh endeared at: "good night sweetie, I love you, sissy loves you too!", you say softly, your hands cradling your round bump. A fond smile and soft gaze into his eyes, Jisung pecks your lips once, lingering there just for a second, a promise for more at a later time.

"Let's say bye bye to sissy too, where is sissy?", he adds then, gently encouraging Daisy to use her little pointer finger to poke at your chest, just slightly above your heart, "aw sissy is mommy's heart, but she's also in mommy's belly!", he prods her on gently, until she pokes your belly too, smiling excitedly, "good girl! There's sissy! say goodnight sissy, I love you! like this, here, watch dada", he explains patiently, bending down to kiss your belly once, and then twice, and then thrice.

Soon enough Daisy copies him and you find yourself overwhelmed with a flurry of slobbery kisses all over your tummy and your chest, the echo of your husband and daughter's giggling and smacking their lips on your skin making your tear up with both joy and the prickling feeling of having to go toilet with how much they're ticking you.

"Night night Nari, we love you", Jisung whispers, his lips pretty much still attached to you, an arm firmly wrapped around his toddler and the other cradling your belly, honey dripping from his words and his eyes.

[yuoimia]

DAY 5: KEEP THINKING OF ME ❅⋆⍋

summary: when you ‘forget’ to kiss him goodbye.

characters: alhaitham, lyney, neuvillette, xiao.

notes: i have this weird thing of progressively making the paragraphs longer than the previous, wanted to try a different format, gn! reader. wc: 160 - 200 per character.

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ dreamy december event masterlist

alhaitham

Let’s be honest, he’d remind you.

Alhaitham is attentive to detail, fairly organised when it comes to routine, and certainly notices when something that ties his hasty mornings together is forgotten. He likes to say the work of a scribe is so endlessly dreary that he should be at least deserving of some reward. Preferably, though not outwardly stated, affection in the form of a tender kiss of your silken lips, brisk, energetic or longing, he’s not fussy.

Alhaitham believes that your affection is one of the only divine cures that could possibly be the remedy to the multitude of poisons inflicting his sanity. You find it a little funny; who knew the Akedemiya’s renowned scribe and former Acting Grand Sage could be so dramatic?

So, when you do forget to kiss him before he exits the door, he makes sure to mention it, makes sure that you won’t forget the next morning, because otherwise, the Akedemiya would have to deal with a missing employee.

lyney

The thing with Lyney is…he probably had more than plenty before he even reached this dilemma.

Throughout the day, from the first sunbeams to the final streaks of moonlight, he was quite bold when it came to the showers of love he craved most frequently. In truth, Lyney considers a day terribly incomplete if he hasn’t been exposed to the warm feelings of your beloved affection. He sincerely promises you that the simple regret doesn’t leave his mind, despite all the distractions he hopes to divert his thoughts revolving madly around you. Something that beautiful should never go overlooked.

Depending on the cruciality of the situation, he’d turn back and come knocking on your door with such a solemn expression that you’d assume that someone had died. The question would arise, his voice uncertain and curious, “Did you forget something important this morning?”

The best option would be to just give him that precious kiss. You don’t want him to do anything too extreme for it, do you?

neuvillette

Did he upset you the night before?

Neuvillette’s knowledge of the complexities of human emotions and responses was, in comparison to anyone else, a little rusty, he admits. That, of course, does not stop him from trying. The often ‘lost in his thoughts’ face the people of Fontaine regularly noticed about him was merely Neuvillette grasping in the elements of human nature, for to deeply understand them was essential if he ever planned on living alongside them.

The lighthearted experiment was just to see how he would react—a small prank, you convince yourself—but perhaps, just maybe, the chief justice had sincerely thought you were mad at him.

You haven’t seen him all day.

Neuvillette seems to have abandoned the customary meeting spots you’d typically bump into him, and that’s when you know.

The idea of putting the blame on himself, making up some complicated scenario that was certainly not true, elicits a newfound determination to make it up to him, to apologise with the compensation of the truth.

That evening, you wait for the door to open, and when it does, you ensure the person entering is gifted the sincere caress of your lips—a few more than what he expects.

xiao

Xiao would continue on with his day. He’s fine, thank you for asking. So what if you forgot to kiss him goodbye?

However, it would be a downright lie to assume that he was 100% veritably unaffected. Xiao was never particularly good at masking emotions, but rather more skilled at intensifying them.

He’ll ponder and wonder; the same question answered with the same reply, repeating like a lament, carving into the inconsolable space of his mind. In other words, Xiao is sulking and in brutal denial of it.

You observe him from the distance, standing on the tip of a faraway mountain, and there’s a strong feeling that he’s gazing at you, too.

Call out my name, he almost begs, a foolish excuse to inexplicably confront you.

The sound of your voice summons him instantly; it breaks him out of his trance, and what you say next cuts through all the tragic thoughts he ever contemplated beforehand.

“I forgot to kiss you this morning,” you smile, playfully apologetic. “Did you realise?”

Xiao doesn’t say anything, there’s nothing to be said, but his actions prove all that needs to be said—how the corners of his lips tug just the bit upwards as he leans into you.

[wardenparker]

For Valentine's Day

Joel Miller x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Rating: E for Explicit Word Count: 12.2k Warnings: Cursing, mentions of food and alcohol, taking care of a baby in the post-apocalypse, Ellie being a big sister, established relationship, mentions of breastfeeding, fingering, unprotected sex, praise, talk of birth control methods. Summary: You, Joel, Ellie, and Caroline arrive in Jackson to find the town getting ready to celebrate Valentine's Day. Notes: These darling dears were long overdo for a visit, so Happy Valentine's Day from the post-apocalypse! The rest of the 'For' series can be found on my Masterlist if you haven't read it yet!

Jackson is like another world. Joel is on edge, despite the friendly faces. Despite the relative safety of the town. He had been shocked to see Tommy here. Thriving, when Joel has lost so much to find him. To find that he isn’t needed. Although, he’s relieved to find a safe little spot for his baby girl and for you. Relieved that a comfortable house is available for you to rest in. It still baffles him to find an entire town getting ready for Valentine’s Day.

The trip was grueling, although all four of you made it in one piece. There were a hell of a lot of days that you weren’t sure if you would make it at all — but that wasn’t really an option. Not with Caroline sleeping on your chest in the homemade wrap carrier that Joel had helped you fashion out of ripped sheets you’d found and washed in an abandoned house along the way. You’ve been bonding with Ellie along the way, and she’s pretty good with Caroline, but your little girl is the reason you’ve been fighting so hard. Now that you’re in Jackson you don’t really know what’s going to happen with you and Joel. All you know is that you have four walls and a roof again, and Caroline is safe.

“Why are there so many hearts everywhere?” Ellie asks Joel, looking around as decorations are put up and the snow crunches under his new boots as he shoves his hands back in his pockets. “Holiday.” He grunts, sure that the kid is fucking with him. She seems to know all the old holidays anyway.

“Have you ever heard of Valentine’s Day?” Who knows what she learned in that FEDRA school back in Boston, or if anyone even thinks about Valentine’s Day anymore — outside of Jackson. You can't even believe that this town is decorating and getting ready for some mass celebration. It's surreal. And a little Hallmark. But in the post-apocalypse? It's amazing in a way you didn't even know you wanted.

“You mean that commercial holiday where men bought their ladies chocolate and flowers, took them on expensive dates?” Ellie asks with a smirk on her face. “You know, they said that soooooo many people proposed on Valentine’s Day. Or made babies.”

"That...is not wrong," you admit, ruffling her hair as you walk alongside the teen with little Caroline strapped to your front. "I guess the folks here are trying to keep as many older traditions alive as they can."

“So what are you going to do for Valentine’s Day?” Her voice takes on a sly, teasing tone and she cuts her eyes over to Joel, who’s shoulder seem inches higher than they just were. “Make a sibling for Caroline?”

"She already has a sibling." When the dubious teen wrinkles her nose at you in confusion, you knock her shoulder and offer her the warmest, softest smile. The real one — not one that teases or has expectations. "You, Ellie. You've been an amazing sister to her on this whole trip."

“Oh.” Her cheeks turn bright red and she ducks her head down slightly, but you don’t miss the proud look on her face. “She’s not so bad.” She huffs. “For a baby.”

"You're not so bad, either." A soft laugh escapes you, and you duck your own head to press a kiss to the top of Caroline's covered head. "For a teenager."

“The baby ready for a nap?” Joel asks. “It’s been a while.”

"We're almost home. I'll lay her down when we get in." The trip into town had been necessary, but Caroline had gotten fussy while Joel was talking to his brother and stepping outside had been practical. It's definitely naptime, no two ways about that. Especially not the way your little girl has been on the verge of tears for half the walk.

“Do you want me to hold her?” Joel asks. Knowing that it’s been a struggle keeping her calm and maybe you need a break.

"She might calm down a little for Daddy." Typically Caroline seems to find being held by Joel to be soothing or at least enough of a novelty to distract her from whatever was upsetting her, and you pause in your steps to carefully extract Caroline from her nest on your chest to hand over to Joel.

His hands are always gentle holding Caroline. As if he is scared to possibly hurt her or stain her with his blood-soaked hands. “Hey, baby girl.” He coos, smiling down at her tear-stained face. “Why so grumpy?”

His little girl — your little girl whimpers and moans a little but the tears stop flowing and you end up chuckling wryly under your breath. “I’m the one who brought her into the world and took care of her for months all alone and she’s still a Daddy’s girl. Go figure.” There’s no heat in it, no malice of any kind. After two months on the road together, you’re thrilled to see the pair of them still bonding so well.

"She's grumpy because she's yours." Ellie snorts, rolling her eyes and grinning when Joel cuts his eyes at her for a moment before looking back at Caroline. "See? Same grumpy looks."

“Like father, like daughter,” you tease, needling Joel’s arm with one finger.

He rolls his eyes and shuffles Caroline onto his shoulder, rubbing her back softly. “Come on, baby girl. Let’s get you out of the cold and into a clean diaper.” He murmurs. “Then we’ll see if you’ll get some sleep so you aren’t as grumpy as your old man.”

The house that was bestowed upon you is just a little further out from downtown and when the four of you get inside, Caroline’s trusty basket is right where you left it in the living room. “She’ll want to eat when she gets up, but I can manage that.” Managing to breastfeed here and there still works, but it’s good that there have been foods that Joel can feed her, too. “If you put her down, I can take care of her when she wakes up.”

“She had a rough night.” Joel argues softly. Caroline was a little under the weather, so she had been fussy. You had wanted to stay up with her, and now you look ready to drop. “Go take a nap and I’ll get her highness when she wakes up, okay?”

“Thank you, honey.” It’s an easy reflex to brush a kiss on Joel’s lips now, and you offer him a smile before pacing past him to fall into the bed that the two of you share upstairs.

Joel gently lays Caroline down, having a supply of cloth diapers and pins nearby. “Hey, baby girl. We’re gonna get you all clean and dry in just a minute.” He promises, finding it easier than he had imagined to fall back into a routine with taking care of a baby. It was decades ago, but he remembers soothing Sarah’s tears as he fought against diaper rash and colic with her.

“So.” Ellie smirks, leaning against the archway into the living room like the absolute picture of adolescence. “What’re you gonna do for her for Valentine’s Day?”

“Do for her?” Joel snorts, not looking up from his task since Caroline likes to pee on an unsuspecting victim when she’s being changed. “What do you mean?”

“The mother of your damn baby, Miller.” Ellie huffs, also as grumpy as her father figure. “There’s a whole holiday about love and romance and they celebrate it here.”

He frowns, realizing that you might have some kind of expectation given the atmosphere around town. “I’ve never been good at that kind of thing.” He admits.

“You can’t do nothing,” the teen argues, keeping her voice down so she won’t disturb the baby or be heard upstairs.

“Yeah.” He grunts, aware of that now. He has never really had to do Valentine’s Day. Unless you counted getting Sarah those boxed Valentine’s for her classes. “I’ll think of something.”

“What’s Tommy doing?” She might not know much about Joel’s brother, but she knows he has a wife and figures he must have a plan of some kind. “He might have an idea you can steal.”

“Haven’t asked.” Joel shrugs, carefully pinning the new diaper to Caroline with a slight frown.

“Probably should.” But Ellie shrugs. It’s no skin off her nose if the grumpiest old man in the world is bad at romance.

He pauses and looks up at Ellie suspiciously. “Has she said something to you?” He asks seriously.

“No.” If you had, she would have been kicking his ass about it a lot harder and a lot sooner. “But she deserves something nice. For like…putting up with us.”

You do put up with them. He snorts and lifts a brow. “Don’t you mean puts up with you?” He jokes. “She happens to like my grumpy ass just the way it is.”

“All the more reason to be nice.” As if he has proven her point completely, Ellie smirks. “Nice and romantic.”

“What do you know about romance, twerp?” He scoffs and shoots her a grin. “You’re too busy scaring off the girl that is interested in you.”

“S’not my fault your scary rubbed off on me,” she gripes in turn. “And you don’t know she likes me. Shut up.”

“You were scary before I met you, kid.” He chuckles, smirking slightly at the mortified expression on her face. “Maybe you’d find out if you didn’t run her off.” He suggests. “Talk to her.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t run off.” Ellie’s characteristic huff comes with a frown and a whole lot of blustering now that she’s the one being called out and she pushes away from the doorframe with a near-stamp of her feet. “Whatever, old man. I was trying to help you.”

“Yeah, you are.” He acknowledges with a grin. “Imma put her down and then run talk to Tommy. You good with listening out for her? She should sleep the entire time.”

“Fine.” Anything to end the torture, though Ellie does smirk that she might have given Joel a good kick in the ass.

He snorts to himself as he lifts a now sleepy Caroline to his shoulder. Patting her but as he moves over to her downstairs bassinet. It’s was odd, you had carried Caroline in a worn out sling and then luckily found a new one on the way, but supplies and space for them had been so limited, now his daughter has a downstairs sleeping area and one right in the room you share with Joel

******

“Well look what the cat dragged in.” Despite the cold, Tommy is out on his porch when he spots Joel walking up the road, and he leans over the banister with a dash of curiosity in his shit-eating grin. Any time his big brother comes to him for just about anything, he still considers it a win. “Back again so soon?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Joel shoots Tommy a half-hearted glare and shoves his hands in his pockets. “You got a minute?”

“Sure.” Tommy’s head bobs in agreement. “You wanna come in?”

“Maria home?” Joel asks, not quite sure if it’s a good idea. Tommy’s wife doesn’t seem to be his biggest fan and he can only assume it’s because his brother told his wife some of the things that Joel has done to protect the people he cares about over the years.

“Nah.” The younger Miller brother shakes his head and stands on creaky bones to open the door for them. “She’s got meetings today. I don’t pretend to know everything she has to deal with, but she comes home to a warm house and dinner on the table, so I guess I’m doing something right.”

“Well, ain’t you a good little house husband?” Joel snorts, busting his brother’s balls a little. The man had been a pain in his ass hellraiser when he was younger. Before outbreak. It’s nice to see him get to enjoy domesticity once again.

“Hell yes I am.” But Tommy snorts too, knowing it’s a far cry from the kid he used to be. As it turns out, the end of the world and the love of a good woman can change a man. “You think I’m not gonna do everything I can to keep that wife of mine? ‘Course I am.”

Tommy was always the optimist, something that Joel had lost after Sarah’s mother had left. He had been too busy trying to raise her right, and then he lost her. Joel frowns for a second and then nods. “And how are you doing that with this Valentine’s thing?”

“Not as easily as I would have before,” Tommy admits, but that’s also a pretty obvious thing to say. Nothing is as easy as it was before. “That cache of movies they’ve got has plenty to pick from and they’re screening…” He thinks for a second, hard, and shrugs. “Some damn 90s chick flick. I dunno, but she’s excited. And since she’s been eating carrots like a bunny with this pregnancy, I’m makin’ her a whole meal centered around it for dinner.”

“Carrots.” He snorts and smirks at his younger brother. “Your kid is gonna come out and say “what’s up doc?”.” He sniggers, imitating the cartoon character from long ago.

“At this point I wouldn’t be surprised.” It makes Tommy laugh though, and he puts a glass of water in front of Joel before pouring one for himself. “Watcha need?” He asks, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

“It’s about….” He looks down at the water and says your name. “The kid says I need to do something for her. For putting up with my shit.”

“Smart kid.” But still, Tommy frowns. “Are you…not together? Is that it? Or am I not gettin’ something here?”

“We were together one time.” Joel murmurs. “And we had a kid.” He shakes his head and looks back down at his hands. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the baby. Caroline is sweet and her momma-“ he sighs. “She’s too good for me really, but she wants to be with me.”

“Just one time?” An impressed and slightly disbelieving whistle escapes Tommy’s lips. “Do you…wanna tell me what happened? Or is that topic off limits?”

“You remember that supply run I made right after you left to go out west?” Even though he had been with the Fireflies, Joel had told Tommy his plans, hoping he would come along.

“Sure. You left the day after I did.” That had been the plan at the time, anyway. He can’t be sure that’s when Joel actually left.

“Came across her in an abandoned house.” He smirks slightly as remembers your surprise and his own reaction to your beauty. “Bunked down together for the night.”

“Ah.” The younger of the two men chuckles in acknowledgement. He can very easily see Joel trading sex the way he traded favors and sold drugs. “And she found you again? Afterward?” He guesses.

“She told me where she was from.” Joel explains. “After we got in trouble in the city and lost Bill’s truck, we headed there. Hoping that we could somehow find someone with a car.”

“And maybe hoping to run into her?” He doesn’t believe it happened by accident. That Joel hadn’t been thinking about you when he decided to go to wherever you were from. He knows his brother better than that.

“She had told me she was going west sometime.” He gives a half shrug, but that is why he had chosen to go so far out of his way.

"Cut the bullshit, Joel," Tommy smirks, knowing that his brother's ability to evade admitting to emotion is legendary. He's been like this for most of his life. Since his wife left. And that is what it is. But Tommy knows Joel well enough to know that he doesn't go out of the way for just anyone. "If you don't want to be with her that's one thing, but you protected her and that baby all the way from the east coast."

He could argue that he has an obligation to you because of the baby. Caroline is his daughter, but it’s just delaying the inevitable admittance of wanting to be with you. “So what the fuck do I do for her, Casanova?” He huffs, scowling at his brother and wondering why the fuck he came to him for advice. “She’s too fucking good for me and I know it. All the women in my life have been.”

“Well you’re taking her to the movie, right?” It’s not exactly a common thing to be able to do, and is therefore a pretty damn big special occasion in the world you all live in now. “Even if you didn’t do anything else, you gotta do that.”

“Yeah, I can do that.” Joel likes movies, used to love them back in the days before the world burned. “She likes books, maybe I can try to find her favorite?”

“We made a library in town of all the books that were left in everybody’s houses,” Tommy tells him with a nod. “Same way we got all the movies we screen. If you’ve got a bookworm, I think a library card counts as romantic.”

“That night…” Joel looks down at his hands and smiles slightly at the memory. “She was reading a book to me that was sexy.” He huffs out a chuckle. “Guess she seduced me with her reading abilities.”

"Fell for brains, huh?" That makes his brother chuckle, and Tommy leans back in his seat with a grin. "Maybe you can talk to Jana — the woman who runs the library — and arrange a little date there? Rekindle a little romance?" He's trying to help as best he can, knowing that old chestnuts like taking you out for a fancy dinner or taking a little weekend trip away can't happen with the world the way it is. He could be patronizing and tell Joel to hurry up and make an honest woman of you, but that is also something that's changed in this world. Not everyone feels the need for the formality of a marriage anymore.

“That would be good.” Joel doesn’t sound completely convinced. “Although I’m sure jewelry would be better. Even now.”

With one eyebrow raised, Tommy cocks his head at his brother. “What kind of jewelry were you thinkin?”

“Somethin’ to celebrate Caroline. And give her something pretty.” Joel hadn’t quite thought it through but most women loved the thought of jewelry.

“Earrings? Necklace?” The way Tommy wants to pry is nearly a physical necessity at this point. “Whatever’s in the house you guys have moved into, wrap it up. Consider it our gift to you guys for being part of the town.”

“Was thinking about a necklace but I don’t know.” He frowns slightly. “Maybe a ring?” He looks up at his brother. “You didn’t remove the valuables from the house?”

“What’s jewelry worth in the apocalypse?” It’s something that only had to be worried about in the cities, it seems like. In the places where FEDRA still reigned. In the places where appearances still mattered. “We took the tools, the resources, split them all up evenly or kept them in reserve, depending on what they were. “Whatever water, food, warm clothing, shit like that? That’s what matters. Not jewelry.”

“True.” Joel shakes his head. “See why I’m not good at shit like this?” He huffs. “Too bad I can’t build her a stroller for the baby.”

“I mean I don’t think you would find very good suspension, but we can get you the stuff to build an old fashioned one.” Tommy snaps his fingers in quick succession, thinking hard. “What the fuck were they called? The one from black and white photos? Prambutrators?”

“Prams.” Why Joel knows that, he doesn’t have a clue. But like he was watching an old episode of Jeopardy, the answer falls from his lips easily.

“Strollers, but beds.” There’s a longer word for it, Tommy’s sure of that, but he shrugs it off. “You wanna do that for her? We can make it happen.”

“Might be a good idea.” Joel hums thoughtfully. “Especially since you’re about to have your own kid. “Need some way of transporting them when your back is aching.”

"It'll be a family heirloom," Tommy huffs, amusement makes his smile spread all over again.

Joel snorts and he taps the table. “I want to build it.” He decides. “I can find out about the library card and look for something pretty too. She did give birth to my daughter and took care of her alone until I saw her again.”

"So it'll be a big holiday." That seems to please the younger Miller, and he chuckles quietly. "She's a hell of a woman. And deserves it, if for nothing else than putting up with your ass."

Joel rolls his eyes and sighs softly. “I don’t know how much she puts up with me because of the kid and how much is because she’s insane for wanting me.”

"Oh, she's certifiable." Tommy can't help but laugh at that. "But it's obvious she loves you. For whatever that's worth. You can see it on her face."

He doesn’t see it, but he might still be in that stage of disbelief. “I better get back.” He pushes the chair back and stands with a groan. “Told her I’d get Caroline when she woke up. She had a long night with her last night so she’s taking a nap too.”

"Ellie's with the baby now?" It's obvious to everyone else in the world that Joel has taken in the teenager with the same ferocity that he's taken to his infant. It's who he is.

“Yeah.” He can’t help the soft smirk on his face as he thinks about the two of his three girls. “She’s taken on the role of big sister pretty well.”

"Sometimes you gotta get thrown in the deep end to figure out how to swim." Standing with his brother, Tommy claps Joel on the shoulder. "Go get back to 'em. We'll get your building supplies tomorrow."

“Thanks.” Joel’s shoulders relax slightly and he shakes his head. “Still can’t believe we’re gonna have kids that grow up together.”

“Musta done something right to deserve it,” Tommy laughs, the edge of disbelief in his voice obvious. “Can’t figure out what the fuck it was, but it must’ve been good.”

“I— I never actually congratulated you.” Joel murmurs after a moment. He had been a little raw when he realized Tommy had been living a charmed life here and he had lost so much, Tess, Bill and Frank, another piece of his soul, on his way to rescue him. Then Tommy’s disbelief about Caroline and his own budding joy about fatherhood had brought up the loss of Sarah. It hadn’t been pretty, but he had regretted his harshness. He reaches out a hand, hard from the man he had become and the work he had done, to shake Tommy’s. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks.” The handshake, warm and firm and full of things the Miller brothers aren’t very good at saying out loud, makes Tommy falter and clear his throat a little to push away the emotion. “I, uh…I’m doing my best. And that’s all I can do. Because Maria and the baby deserve the world, but the world is pretty fucked up these days.”

“It’s always been fucked up.” Joel corrects. “Now it’s just more obvious.” He lets go of the hand and shuffles slightly.

“Fair enough, I guess.” Tommy chuckles, but he rubs his hand on the back of his neck. “Did you…need anything else?”

Joel shuffles again and feels like a teenager. “Do any - uh, is there birth control available?” He asks, not wanting to get you pregnant again. At least not now. Although that afterthought shocks him.

A sort of lopsided smirk forms on Tommy’s face, and he chuckles — the sentiment clear as day. “The ladies have developed some interesting but not full proof methods. It’s sort of frontier-style out here. In that regard and a lot of others.”

“Yeah.” Joel nods and sighs. “I’m fucking fifty-six years old, Tommy.” He huffs. “Don’t need to be knockin’ her up every time I’m feelin’ frisky.”

“For her sake way more than yours.” Tommy laughs again. “I’d go see the Doc,” he advises. “She was a general practitioner before the world went to shit, so now she’s our town doc.”

Joel nods, knowing that it needs to be done. Tess couldn’t have anymore kids, so it had never been a problem. You’ve only had sex a few times since being in Jackson, and every time, Joel had pulled out the second you had cum so he could jerk off.

“Sounds like you’re planning a damn good Valentine’s Day,” Tommy teases.

He snorts, shrugging slightly and the slight grin on his face is purely male. “I don’t know if I’ve ever been this relaxed. And she’s a damn beautiful woman, who loves me.” He admits, proud of that fact.

“If you’re relaxed with a baby around, that’s proof she’s not your first.” Shaking his head once more, Tommy slaps Joel hard on the shoulder. “Go home to ‘em. I’ll see you tomorrow with the stuff you’ll need to build.”

“Thanks.” He sends Tommy a grateful look and quickly slips out the door. Eager to get back to you, Caroline and Ellie. Even though Jackson is safe, he feels better when you are close.

******

Ellie is sitting beside Caroline’s bassinet in the living room when Joel gets home. Her old, weathered joke book is in her hands and she glances up when the door opens to let Miller inside. “Shhh,” she puts one finger to her lips performatively and whispers. “She’s so fuckin cute when she sleeps.”

“Yes she is.” Joel can agree as he quietly walks over to the bassinet. “She slept the entire time?” He asks the other girl, proud of how easily she’s bonded with her. Despite not like diaper changes, Ellie loves Caroline and would often ask to hold her when you had stopped for the night.

"She fussed a little," Ellie admits, but she holds up her book. "I giggled her off to sleep."

“More like bored her to sleep.” Joel snorts. “You certain she’s still breathing?” He jokes, even though he can see that she is, it’s simply for the pleasure of watching Ellie scowl at him.

"Caroline thinks I'm funny." The teenager defends, though she knows making a baby laugh isn't too hard in the first place. "Even if you don't share our refined sense of humor."

“Yeah.” He huffs and rolls his eyes, resisting the urge to smirk. “Keep telling yourself that, cupcake.”

“Shouldn’t be surprised.” Though it comes with a huff, Ellie keeps her voice down. Caroline is sleeping, after all. “We’re cuter than you, too.”

He shoots Ellie a look that is half amused. “That’s not hard to do.” He admits. “But I’m smarter…..and meaner.”

“You wouldn’t be mean to us.” Ellie bats her eyelashes dramatically, knowing fully fucking well that Joel can be mean. That he has been mean. But never to the baby.

“No, I wouldn’t.” He might have been at one point to the older girl, but now he would die protecting her. “Did you know there’s a library in town?”

“There is?!” Her voice jumps up at that and she immediately ducks as though her volume were some kind of tangible weapon that she needs to get away from the baby immediately. “There is?” She hisses quietly instead.

“Yeah.” Joel chuckles at the way Ellie’s eyes light up. You aren’t the only one with an affinity for reading. “Planning on going over tomorrow to get a card. Wanna come?”

“Hell yes.” The teenager nods with enthusiasm. “Is it a big library?” He must have heard about it from Tommy, which means it’s worth bragging about. Tommy Miller loves to brag about Jackson.

“It’s filling up a store, so it has to be big.” Tommy had told him where to go. “They compiled all the books in town and any they brought in.”

"You're on, old man." Ellie hops up off the sofa, apparently having thought of something either extremely important or just imminently elsewhere that she needs to be. "I hope you're ready to carry books back, cause I'm getting out as many as they'll let me."

“Bring a bag, brat.” He reaches out to swipe her head with his hand, to mess up her ponytail, but she ducks. “Where are you going?” It’s a safety question, even though the town is safe. He still wants to know.

"Upstairs." She assures him. "I'm not leaving after dark."

“Good.” Joel lifts a brow. “Keep it that way. Even though it’s safe here, shit can happen.”

"I know." She agreed to follow Joel's rules, and she meant it. Even if he can be a complete nag sometimes, she knows by now that he is the one person to trust over anybody else in her life. Joel said not to go out after dark, so she doesn't. End of story.

“Thank you.” Joel relaxes slightly and rolls his shoulders back after Ellie agrees to stay close. “Don’t say anything to her about the library card.” He cautions her. “It’s gonna be a surprise.” He hopes you haven't heard about the library yet, but if you have, you haven't had time to get a card or you would have been raving about it.

“Got it.” The teen smirks and heads for the stairs.

Joel rolls his eyes again and looks down at Caroline softly before taking off his jacket and boots. He's comfortable here, and its a surprise to find out how quickly he could readjust back to fatherhood. He takes the soiled diaper from earlier and brings it over to the bucket that you keep them soaking in. Deciding that he will wash them so they can hang dry in the kitchen overnight. Having a baby in a post apocalyptic world is kind of like having one in frontier times, in his opinion. A lot more work, and those conveniences he had taken for granted with Sarah are a thing of the past.

******

It’s been a hell of a long time since you could feel safe enough to nap, but Jackson is unique in that it actually feels safe. When you wake up it’s after dark and the house is quiet — which really just means that Caroline is quiet. Joel and Ellie habitually keep their voices lower and their steps lighter because the instinct of having to stay hidden is so ingrained. The fact that there’s no sound from downstairs now is a good thing. Hopefully Caroline has managed to nap and Joel can do…whatever Joel is doing.

Joel stirs the pot on the stove, throwing together a stew to eat. The leftover vegetables from last year’s growing season were all canned, but he was grateful for them nonetheless. When he hears you on the stairs, he pokes his head out of the kitchen. “Got some tea ready.” He calls out softly.

"You're perfect," you hum with a grateful sigh, stretching languidly on the last step before you hit the bottom floor. The air of domesticity here is deep, in a way that could almost make you forget what the world outside is like. At least for a little while.

“You just love that I’ve learned how to make your tea.” He snorts and leans over to press a kiss to your forehead when you drift by him on the way to the counter for the cup he has set out.

"I'm appreciative." For so, so many things that Joel does. Not being the only person in charge of Caroline's survival and happiness as well as your own has lifted an enormous burden from your shoulders and you can only hope that you have helped him in even a fraction of the same way. "Thank you, honey."

“Of course.” He nods and turns back to the stew. “Figured I’d make some dinner, we still have half a loaf of that oat bread.” He shakes his head. “Amazing how we are actually eating bread….Considering.”

“We’re all eating like hippies,” you joke, leaning in to Joel’s side as he stands at the stove. It’s a comfort just to be close to him, and you’re much closer now than you were even weeks ago. “Anything but wheat flour.”

“That’s true.” He chuckles and reaches around you to snag your waist.

“Thank you for letting me nap.” A perfect rest is one you get to take together, but those were few and far between on the road. Now that you’re in Jackson, being able to sleep next to him every single night is an absolute luxury.

“You’re welcome.” Joel leans in and brushes his nose against your cheek. “You were up with her last night, you deserved to rest.” He reminds you. “I got the diapers washed. They are hanging up on the back porch.”

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” He’s been such a huge help, and even helped you get a better rhythm even in your one-on-one time with Caroline.

“Are you asking or lamenting?” He jokes and pats you on the butt gently. “So I talked to Tommy.” He murmurs. “There’s a doctor in town that we should go see.”

“Are you not feeling well?” Concern is written on your face instantly, eyebrows drawing up in worry.

“No, nothing like that.” He instantly replies, trying to ease your fears. “They have some….methods of birth control.” He feels his own cheeks heating up because of bringing this up. “If you— I mean, if we’re— you know— uh—”

"Oh." He's blushing, and that's just about the most adorable thing you've ever seen. "Then yes. We should definitely go see that doctor."

“I just— I don’t want you to— not if—” he’s never been great with words and he just shrugs after a moment. “I don’t think you should be havin’ another baby right now.” He murmurs. “I know back before everything, they told my….ex, that she should wait at least three years before another baby and fuck- by then I’ll be sixty fuckin’ years old.”

"Honey..." Turning into Joel's side completely, you tip your head back to offer him a smile and put your other arm around his waist to hold him close. "We'll do our best to keep up with effective birth control. We'll be as safe as we can be. Sometimes...sometimes things just happen. We know that. We have the result of that, sleeping in the other room. Family planning doesn't exactly work the way it used to."

“No, it doesn’t.” He leans in and presses his lips to yours. “But I want you to be healthy, not worn out because my pullout game isn’t the best.”

"If it happens again, we'll love them just as much as we love Caroline." You are absolutely certain of that, without hesitation. "And if it doesn't? She's already got one fantastic big sister around to help take care of her, and another big sister that she can hear stories about whenever Daddy is willing to tell them."

“I—” he bites his lip and shakes his head. “It’s been-“ air whooshes out of his lungs. “A long time since I’ve been called that.” Caroline being alive and healthy makes the last time he heard that particular phrase only bittersweet, the ache in his heart still there, but it doesn’t bleed this time. “I still can’t believe I have her some days.”

"We're lucky to have you, Joel." That is something you believe with all of your heart, even on the bad days and the hard days and the days when it all feels like too much. "All three of us."

“Everything changed.” Joel acknowledges. “But I’m glad I could keep the three of you safe. Get you here.” He tilts his head. “Do you know how far we are from your family land?”

"The last I heard from anybody, they were actually on the outskirts of Jackson." Having been too afraid to ask, you've kept it to yourself that you might actually have a family home out here with sentimental things that once belonged to your cousins. "I have the address, but...I assume that since the street isn't part of new Jackson, it must be either wrecked or overgrown."

“Do you want me to ask around?” He asks quietly, squeezing your hip gently. “See if I can get out there?”

"Honestly, if it's still around? I would want to go too. But I don't want to risk taking Caroline out to somewhere dangerous again." You shake your head at that idea, not liking it at all. "Not when she's finally safe again."

“No.” Joel is immediately shaking his head. “Our daughter stays behind the walls.” He insists, voice flat and final. Even though you don’t want to take her out, Joel wouldn’t allow it.

“Never a sentence that I thought I would find comforting, but here we are.” The two of you stand silently for a long moment before you sigh. “I know there’s probably nothing left of them,” you repeat, hating how final that is after everything. “But I’d rather know for sure. There might be a memory or two left in the house.”

“Then we will go.” Joel hates that you haven't found any of your people yet, although they may just not be around much. It’s a vain hope, but he has it for you.

“And we’ll go see the doctor.” That’s a more pressing trip, if you’re honest with yourself. Any birth control at all would be useful, even if it’s only by a little.

“I don’t have to be inside you.” Joel murmurs softly, knowing that as much as he loves your cunt around you, your health is more important.

“There are plenty of ways to be intimate.” With one hand on his chest, you rub small, soothing circles there for a second and kiss his jaw before his lips. “But we’re still going to go see that doctor. I like having sex with you too much to just give it up cold turkey.”

He huffs out a small laugh and he smirks at you. “Got addicted, huh? Even when you sometimes have to ride?”

“Don’t be so smug.” An attempt to frown or even look somewhat stern fails you, though, and you end up throwing a matching smirk back at him. “I…like that we don’t go our separate ways the next morning.”

“You and Caroline, Ellie…” he pulls you closer. “You’re all that matters to me. Keeping you safe.”

Cup of tea and simmer stew pot long forgotten, you turn in Joel’s arms to face him fully and put your arms around his neck. “We love you too, handsome. All of us. In very different ways.”

He grumbles slightly but he doesn’t argue. Knowing that it’s useless to argue with you. “Yeah, yeah.”

You hum, grinning that he doesn’t protest it anymore, and kiss the tip of his nose. “You’re cute when you blush.”

He rolls his eyes and his hands slide down to your ass. “Yeah? You’re cute when you’re naked underneath me and chanting my name over and over again.”

“Joel…” A knot in your belly forms instantly, making you squeeze your thighs together in turn.

He grins at you and winks. “Good thing you took that nap, huh?” He teases softly. “Now you need to eat a good meal to make sure you won’t pass out on me from hunger.”

“This,” you huff, laughing at the way the two of you have just clicked back together so easily over the last few months. “This is why we need that doctor. We’re too horny for our own good.”

“Kind of hard to fuck on the road.” He reminds you with a laugh of his own. “Now we have a bed, a door that locks.”

“And a real mattress and box spring for that old man back of yours.” Not that you don’t appreciate it too, of course. But of the two of you, Joel definitely has more aches and pains.

“Damn right. And the bed is comfortable.” He snorts, remembering that shitty, worn out mattress he had in Boston. “Did I mention that Ellie isn’t sleeping three feet from us?”

“And we don’t have to worry about Caroline rolling or crawling away, or any of a million other things.” The fingers of one of your hands thread into his hair and you hum as you press yourself against him right there in the kitchen. “Of course, there’s also the kitchen counter…”

The way his cock twitches in his pants is a good indication that he had been thinking along those lines too. “Kid’s upstairs, reading.” He grunts, pressing his lips under your ear just like he’s discovered makes you shiver. “Baby’s asleep. If we make it quick, we can do it.”

“I should just stop wearing pants around you,” you tease, already shifting both of you backward so that you’re the one pressed up against the counter. “So we can be as fast as we want.”

“We can always find you some skirts.” He hums, sliding his hands down to your jeans and around the front to unbutton them. “When you’re inside Jackson. I wouldn’t want you to wear them outside the walls.” He says seriously, frowning slightly at what could possibly happen. Clickers or humans.

The soft chuckle that escapes you is a little rougher than usual just because he's shoving your jeans down your hips, but you still shrug your shoulders. "We're horny, not stupid. Skirts are only for when it's safe."

Joel has become a little feral now that your relationship has progressed back to physical. There’s something about you being the mother of his child that seriously gets Joel going. He had never had that since his ex had disappeared out of his and Sarah’s life so early, but he was not upset with the discovery. Your body was softer, marked by motherhood and he found it incredibly sexy. “Then you need to see the doctor.” He growls. “Because I might just bend you over a table every time Caroline naps.”

He barely has your jeans pulled off in time for you to hop up on the counter, legs open for him to fill the space between even as you start to work open the belt he wears day in and day out. Frenzied kisses take up the space where there could be more words, but oxygen is precious when you're doing your damnedest to drown in each other while your baby girl sleeps.

Most intimate moments were rushed, quiet and out in the open. Using his fingers on you to give you pleasure while the girls slept. Because of that, he knows exactly how to touch you to make sure you are wet.

"Joel—" You have to bite back a whine the second his fingers find you, already wet and aching just from talking about sex and not even from him touching you. Hell, kissing him is still enough to make your cunt bottom out and you hope that never changes.

“That’s it, baby.” Joel growls against your neck softly. “Want that pretty pussy nice and wet. You want to cum before I fuck you? Or do you want to cum on my cock?” He swirls his fingers around your clit and then presses them into you to curl up and strike against that spongy spot deep inside near your cervix.

You could protest that there isn’t time for two, but you know Joel would make it happen. He’s learned your body fast, and how to wring pleasure out of you as fast or as slow as he wants to. “O—on you,” you manage to pant out two coherent words and try for a few more. “Want to cum on your cock, Joel. Please?”

“I love when you beg, baby.” He groans, having heard so many people beg him over the years. Often for their lives when there’s no saving them, but this is what he loves. You, begging for him to make you feel good. “You’ll cum on my cock, baby. All over it.”

“Always do.” The way you shift forward on the counter is proof of how eager you are, in case he wasn’t sure. Every time you shift or roll your hips, his fingers stroke that spot again and you have to bite back a moan.

“I know you do.” He grunts, unbuttoning his pants to pull his hard cock out. “Always so good for me.”

It goes back to the first time he called you his good girl, and you know it. That was the moment you called it quits on any resistance whatsoever. “Always. Fuck, always, baby.”

Joel smirks and pumps his cock, listening to make sure that the kid isn't coming downstairs. He doesn't want to scar her, but he doesn't want to wait to get you upstairs. He groans when he has to pull his fingers out of you and hums. "You ready?"

"I don't think there's ever a time when I'm not." You nod enthusiastically, glancing up at the closed door that leads from the kitchen to the living room, and when no sound can be heard from your sleeping daughter you look back to Joel. "Take what you want, baby. I'm just along for the ride."

It only takes a moment to notch himself at your entrance, his lips fused with yours as he starts to push inside you. Loving how tight you immediately squeeze his cock inside your walls.

Every sound you have gets poured into that kiss, muting your moans and whines so they don't echo through the house. In this position the best thing you can do is hang onto the counter and let Joel take what he wants — exactly as you said — and that kiss is another perfect way to stay connected to him as he starts to move.

There’s a perfect rhythmic pace he can keep that doesn’t hurt his back and still keeps your toes curling in their socks. He’s tested it, although he never told you and he uses that pace now. Holding onto your hips as he rocks into you again and again, swallowing your moans greedily as he basks in your utter want of him.

One hand has to move to his shoulder, clutching his shirt as he fucks into you hard enough that it feels like he's stealing your breath but not so hard that you'll end up walking funny and give away what you've been up to. No doubt Ellie has noticed by now, but there's no reason to rub it in. There's just nothing better than basking in Joel's full attention. In being his sole focus. lt's like coming home.

Once he’s broken away from your lips, there’s not a part of your exposed skin that Joel doesn’t kiss. Loving to nibble and kiss along your neck and chest. Inhaling the milky scent of your breasts, heavier since Caroline is due for a feeding when she wakes up. Though he doesn’t touch them, knowing they need to be left alone for his child. “Fuck.”

"So good." With his ear right by your mouth, you can just gasp and sigh right there for only him to hear. "Always fuck me so good."

“This little pussy was made for me.” Joel grunts, loving how you spasm around him when he pours filth into your ears. Sometimes his fingers and words get you off so quickly, he’s amazed you haven’t been worked up all day. “Squeezin’ me so tight.”

"Can't help it," you chuckle low in his ear and have to bite back a gasp when his hips hit yours sharply. "Your cock's just so fucking big.'

He snorts and twitches inside of you at the breathless praise. “You gonna cum for me, pretty girl?” He asks, moving one hand down so he can rub your clit as he thrusts into you.

"'M close, baby." The breathless promise comes on a whine and you have to work to not just let your mouth hang open and Joel's rhythm picks up and the broad pad of one of his thumbs skates over your slick, swollen clit. "So fucking close, oh god."

His teeth snap together, breathing heavily and his face is almost set in a determined frown. Watching you as his hips shuffle forward to fill you again and again. Loving how your body heaves and lurches every time he swipes his fingers over your clit, almost overstimulated - you’re so close. “Be my good girl, baby.” He growls. “Cum for me.”

Whether you’re responding to his praise or to the near overstimulation is anyone’s guess, but it’s only a moment later that your legs start to tense and shake around his waist and your mouth falls open in a silent sob as you come apart for him.

The heat, the pressure around his cock is exquisite as you start to cum. The rush of wetness helps him move when your walls squeeze tight and he loves the nearly non existent sound you make. Taking his hand off your hip, grabbing the back of your neck and dragging your lips back to his as he fucks you through your orgasm.

These are the times — mid orgasm with a foggy brain and no filter for your thoughts — that you wish Internally for another baby. Accident or planned, it doesn’t matter to you. It’s just that flash of a thought as your climax washes over you that you know will subside again but it makes you hold onto his kiss that much tighter. Grateful for what you do have. For him and for Caroline, above all.

He feels your body relax, going boneless as he continues to batter against your fluttering walls. He’s close but he can’t pull out just yet. “Fuck.” He groans. “So pretty when you cum.” The praise is whispered against your lips.

“Just for you,” you promise in a shaky breath, practically gulping down air as the intensity of your orgasm subsides.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He hisses, regret lacing his tone because he’s having to pull his hips back. Letting go of you and wrapping his hand around his cock as he starts to quickly jerk himself off, the other hand poised to catch the mess so there isn’t a huge cleanup of the counters.

If you could have gotten there quickly, you’d be on your knees to catch every last drop, but you definitely move a little bit slower after he’s just gotten done fucking you — mostly just because your legs are jelly. Instead you watch Joel with dark eyes, satisfied temporarily but always wanting. It’ll be another few hours before he can even think of going again, but that doesn’t mean you won’t daydream about him.

It’s not as satisfying as when he’s buried to the hilt inside, but he can’t risk it, can’t risk you. Clenching his jaw, he hisses slightly as he stops stroking his cock, panting as he looks up at you and leans in to kiss you once more.

“I love you.” Simple words, but loaded with so much emotion that you sigh a little after saying them. “So much, Joel.”

“I love you too.” He promises, pulling back to take his cum filled hand to the sink to wash before he gets a rag for you. “Don’t ever think I don’t.”

“Well it was a little touch and go there while we weren’t anywhere near each other,” you tease, flashing him a grin. “But I don’t anymore. I promise.”

Snorting, Joel rolls his eyes at you and after washing his hands, he soaps up a rag and comes back over to you to clean you up. “Hush.” He grumbles, biting his lip as he spreads your thighs again.

“Never.” Instead your grin widens and you steal another kiss while he cleans you up. Only after that do you carefully hop down from the kitchen counter to pull your clothes back on.

Right as you are buttoning your pants, he hears the first little squawk from Caroline and grins. “I’ll change her.” He tosses the rag into the diaper pail to soak. “Drink your lukewarm tea before you come feed her.” He orders, kissing your temple before he walks out of the kitchen, already buttoned and buckled back up.

“Yes, sir.” There’s not even any point to protesting. You just pick up your tea and admire his ass as he strides out of the room.

Caroline is definitely feeling better, waving her arms and squealing when she sees Joel. The bubbly, happy grin on her adorable face never fails to bolster his spirits, which are always pretty high after being intimate with you. “Just like your momma.” He teases as he picks her up with a grunt. “Always squealing.”

With the door open it isn’t really difficult, but you still lean out from the kitchen and huff just loudly enough for him to hear. “I heard that.” Not that he’s wrong. Not at all.

Joel chuckles, nudging his nose against his daughter’s cheek and listening to her gurgle. “You were supposed to, baby.” He tells you, grinning at Caroline when he pulls back. “You were supposed to.”

******

Joel spends a decent portion of the next few days out of the house, helping Tommy with some vague project that you don't think much of. He had taken Ellie with him once but she has been mainly at home with you. The town is enjoying their preparations for Valentine's Day at the end of the week, and from time to time you've found yourself daydreaming about Joel doing something spontaneously romantic but you aren't expecting anything. It's not as though he can pop into a jewelry store or go down to the sweet shop for chocolates. Even flowers aren't really on the docket these days. It doesn't matter. Not really. All that matters is that he comes home safe every night, and Joel definitely does that.

It had been a pain in the ass, but the pram is finished; even Tommy is impressed with the final product and Joel had used some stuffing from cushions to make a padded layer on the bottom to make it more comfortable for Caroline. It’s got a back that can be adjusted to tilt up for when she’s older and a cover for the sun or rain. Now, he’s just waiting on the varnish to dry and it will be ready.

It’s late morning when he comes back from Tommy’s today, looking as pleased with himself as Joel ever does, and your plan to go down to Jackson’s seamstress to inquire about a skirt or dress goes by the wayside immediately. “Hey handsome.” Out on the porch with Caroline against your chest, you wave to him when you see him approach.

“Hey.” He climbs the steps with only a slight protest from his knees and gives Caroline a quick kiss before letting his own linger on your lips for a moment. “So, they are having a movie tonight for the celebration.” He reminds you, as if that’s not been the topic of the town for days.

“Did you want to go?” He hasn’t mentioned it at all so you wondered if maybe he was ignoring Valentine’s altogether.

“Was thinking that if you wanted to go, we could.” He shrugs one shoulder and shuffles his feet as he reaches into his jacket pocket. “Unless you want to stay home and read.”

“Read what?” You’re looking at his face, not his hands, and it takes an enigmatic smile from Joel before you glance down and see a very official card sitting in his hand. It’s a business card for the old Jackson public library, printed and crisp, but when he flips it over you see your name scrawled there in beautiful cursive and gasp. “What is this?”

“There’s a town library.” Joel explains. “They collected all the books out of the houses and any they brought back from scouting missions.” He smiles. “Thought you might like to go browse and check some out.”

“Honey.” Instantly your arms are around him, squeezing him into your side so you can show him how grateful you are without crushing Caroline between you in the process. “This is incredible. A library? That’s — it’s so sweet of you.” The grin on your face is wide, spreading to overtake you by the second. It might not be just anyone’s perfect Valentine’s gesture, but it’s definitely yours. “Thank you, love.”

He huffs in relief that you aren’t upset at his gesture. “You’re welcome. I knew you would want to read some more.”

“I wonder if they gathered up all the kids' books, too?” More bedtime stories for Caroline would be amazing as she gets older. Right now lullabies still do it when she’s fussy, but you don’t expect that to last much longer.

“I’m sure they have. Which will be amazing for Caroline.” He had read to Sarah from the time she was a baby and wonders if they have some of the books he had read to her. It would be a little tradition to read them to his other daughter.

“Thank you,” you murmur again, leaning against him and pressing a kiss to his cheek before you look down at your daughter. “Can you say thank you Daddy? For being awesome and loving us so, so much?”

“You have to come with me to get the next present.” He snorts, enjoying the way that Caroline automatically coos and waves her arms.

“There’s a next present?” Your head tilts in curiosity and a smile cracks across your face again. “Mr. Miller, you’ve been busy.”

“Not like I can get you flowers or chocolates.” He’s embarrassed by the surprise in your voice and he shrugs.

“You didn’t have to do anything at all. I still know you love me.” The thing about Valentine’s Day is that it has been so surprising to see it revived. It isn’t necessarily as surprising that he is embracing it. Not when he’s working so hard to relieve the sins of his past and whatever happened with Sarah’s mother.

“I know.” He picks up the backpack you had started using as a diaper bag for the baby and glances at you. “You want to carry her? Or do you want me to get our little princess?”

“I’ve got her for now, she’s comfortable.” Sometimes the biggest thing really is her comfort, so you’re not going to disturb your little girl for right now. “Where are we going?”

“Tommy’s workshop.” He picks up her little blanket and throws it over his arm. “Hopefully you like it, it’s more of a practical gift.”

“I’m sure I’ll love it.” If he thought of it? Put care and love into just thinking that you will appreciate it? Then whatever it is will be perfect.

Like all babies and families with babies, it takes a few minutes to get going. The pram should be completely dry, the fans blowing on it and he wonders if you will like to. Sure he could have tried to find one at an abandoned store, but for him, it was about making something. It had been a long time since he had done that and it had felt pretty good.

“Ellie seems like she’s adjusting okay to being back in school.” The walk over to Tommy’s doesn’t take long, and you’re curious to see what he’s been up to with his brother.

“She’s enjoying the school having zero to do with FEDRA.” Joel agrees. “I think she likes the days they take care of the livestock the best. She loves animals.”

"She loves them and she's great with them." Your free hand slips into Joel's while you walk, enjoying the sunny, clear day in spite of the cold. "That's a hell of a valuable skill set in this world. Keeping the livestock happy and healthy is vital."

“Yes it is.” Joel nods. “Tommy and John think they might have gotten that old grist mill working.” He tells you in passing. “The kids are going to have a class on that, come next week.”

"Everything but wheat flour," you joke with a shake of your head. "Although that oat bread was pretty good. John's got a good thing going in that bakery he set up."

“Exactly and there’s a sack of barley seeds they want to plant and make cornmeal.” He has been impressed with Jackson so far and wants to stay here. There’s no reason to go back to Boston and he would never put his daughter under FEDRA control.

Squeezing his hand, you smile up at Joel and cradle Caroline with your other hand. "It's nice here."

“It is.” There are moments where Joel doesn’t trust it, he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for the ugliness to infect Jackson, but he wants this to be a haven, for you and Ellie and Caroline. Especially for Caroline. He wants her to be able to grow up without being exposed to the rawness of the outside world as much as possible. To give her a chance at normalcy. “You want to stay, sweetheart?” He asks quietly.

"I can't imagine any place being better for us." On your chest, Caroline is looking around her with the characteristic wonder of an infant, and you grin and place a kiss on her little tuft of hair. "Your brother is here, there's reliable shelter and food. Ellie is safe to the point where she's enjoying school. It's...I'm not going to call it perfect but it feels like spitting in the face of the universe if we just walk away."

“I feel like the other shoe is going to drop, but it’s also the most relaxed I’ve been in years.” Joel admits. “I’ve- there’s more to worry about than me. And I’ve worried a lot since Lake City.” He had tried to hide the panic attacks, but you had seen signs of them. “I think we should stay.”

"You're entitled to worry." It's just a quiet reminder, but it's important that Joel remember that he has permission to feel whatever way he feels about things. Having a family and being a protector in this environment is a stressful thing. "But you're also entitled to be happy."

“That’s the hard part of this to swallow.” Joel admits, squeezing your hand gently. “It’s alright, baby. I want to stay, if you do.”

"If not for us, then for the girls." That's really the key here, and you pick up his hand to press a kiss to the back of it. "I would follow you anywhere. But they deserve whatever childhood we can give them."

“Yes they do.” The door to Tommy’s shop is just up ahead and he smiles slightly. “Hopefully this next gift will help that. At least for one of them.”

"What did you do?" At this point you're too curious not to feel bubbly about it, and you desperately wish the younger Miller brother's workshop had good windows.

“You’ll see.” He chuckles at your curiosity and lets go of your hand so he can open the door. “After you.”

"Come on, baby," you murmur to Caroline, grinning as you duck into the workshop.

Sitting in the middle of the space is a beautifully put together and obviously handmade perambulator, with a padded cloth bottom and a sun visor that...seems to be moveable as well as handcrafted. "Oh my god..." you breathe, stepping into the room further and bending over the pram with tears in your eyes. "Baby...did you make this?"

“I know I could probably find one, somewhere…” Joel can’t tell if you love it or hate it, so he shuffles slightly. “But I wanted to build one that you could use for a long time.”

"Honey, it's beautiful!" The tears in your eyes are pure love and gratitude, and you backtrack immediately to give him a kiss before going to inspect the pram that he put together with his own two hands. "It—it's incredible. You...how long did this take you?"

“It’s what I’ve been working on this week.” Joel explains, walking over to it to show you the shade and how it can flip down to become a basket to put things in.

"I can't believe you did this." There is such a wonder in your voice. Awe and love, and shock that anyone would put this much work into such an enormous gesture.

“Figured she was going to get too busy and too fidgety to haul around on your chest all the time.” He tells you. “Plus it can sit up when she’s really moving.”

"Do you want to see what Daddy made you, honey?" Caroline keeps reaching for the pram like she knows it's hers, and you look to Joel hopefully. "Is it ready for her to try out?"

“Yeah.” He holds up her blanket. “Figured you want a cover on her since she’s not right up against you.”

"It's perfect," you murmur again. Unwrapping her from your chest is a careful process, but soon a squirming little girl is ready to be set down in her very first pram and she giggles with glee just as soon as you lay her blanket over her. "Daddy made you the perfect little pram so we can push you around and let you see town without having to be attached to my chest the whole time."

“Tommy helped too.” Joel admits, pleased that you seem thrilled with the pram. “He wants to make one for Maria now.”

"Brand new family heirlooms." It's a magical and unexpected gesture, that you reach down to tickle Caroline's belly and can't resist kissing Joel, as well. "This kind of puts my Valentine's surprise to shame, babe."

“No it doesn’t.” Joel immediately frowns and shakes his head. “You don’t have to do anything for me.”

"You didn't have to do anything for me, either." With a grin, you lean over and kiss his cheek again while Caroline looks around her pram in wonder. "I went to see the doc the other day." He's been busy — apparently building you a damn stroller with his own two hands — so you had taken it upon yourself to go in the meantime.

“Yeah?” Joel’s eyes widen slightly and he looks Caroline in her pram to you. “And?”

"And." He looks like he might jump up and down from excitement, and you can't help but laugh. "She had a diaphragm for me."

He frowns and tries to remember what the hell that is. It’s been a long time since he’s talked about birth control in depth. “That- that’s that thing that goes inside you before sex, right?”

“Right.” Another giggle escapes you, and you lean into his side. “It’s not full proof, but it’s something.”

“Yeah.” Joel knows that no birth control is perfect, but he feels better with that. “Do you still want to have me pull out?” He asks seriously.

“Is it irresponsible to say no?” You just want to feel him completely, but you’ll understand if he declines. You’ve already brought one baby into the world, the idea was to prevent two. “It’s your decision, love. All I care about is getting to be close to you.”

“I say we keep track of your cycle like you normally do.” Joel murmurs. “I’ll pull out when you’re ovulating.”

“In that case.” The grin on your face turns absolutely devilish. “No need to pull out tonight.”

Joel blows out a loud breath and reaches down to adjust himself. “That’s the best fuckin’ Valentine’s you could ever give me.”

“I thought you might like it.” Compared to what he’s done? It’s barely anything at all. But the chance to be as close to each other as possible is something you’ve both been craving as you’ve realized the depth of feelings you have.

“Love it.” Joel growls, reaching for you to pull you close and press his lips to yours for a quick and harsh kiss.

“Love it a lot. Got it.” You melt against him and bury your face in his chest, glad to be held in his arms for even a few moments at a time. “We’ll have some grown up time after the movie tonight?”

"Already asked Ellie if she would mind the bassinet being in her room." He tells you with a grin. "Bottles ready."

“Scheming!” You erupt into giggles, cheeks burning hot and desire starting to ache in your core. “You have been scheming.”— Today at 8:02 PM

"I have been scheming." He admits shamelessly. "And there's one more thing that I have to give you."Today at 8:07 PM

“Joel.” A pout comes with a tilt of your head and you shake it immediately. “Baby, no. You’ve already done so much.”Today at 8:12 PM

"This is something from me....for you." He promises softly. "I wanted to give you something that shows you how much I love you." He swallows. "Do you want it now, or do you want me to - you know, make it romantic?" Today at 8:25 PM

“I want you to do whatever will make you happiest.” Another soft kiss between you makes you melt that much more. “I’ll love it no matter what.”day at 8:33 PM

"I kind of want to give it to you now, before I lose the damn thing." Joel admits with a huff of amusement, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a faded velvet box.at 8:42 PM

“What…?” It may be a long while since the last time you walked into a jewelry store, but you still remember what a ring box looks like as your eyes flick between the box and Joel. “Honey?”day at 8:52

"It's- do you know how fucking hard it was to remember birthstones?" He snorts, shaking his head. "I wanted to get you something that had meaning. That's symbolic of how we came together."

He holds it out to you a little more surely and you realize your hands are shaking a little when you reach to open it. The ring inside has been cleaned, it's shining in the dim sunlight streaming into the workshop and the tears spill over immediately. "You—you figured out Caroline's birthstone?" It had never occurred to you to even try to think of what it would be, although you did figure out what her zodiac was while holding her one night right after she was born. y at 9:13 PM

"Yeah." He looks down at the ring and smiles. "There was a book in the library." He admits, not wanting you to think he was some kind of genius. "You told me when she was born, and I'm never gonna forget that." He bites his lip. "I was thinking you could wear it like an engagement ring or whatever, if you want."y at 9:18 PM

"Are you saying you want me to wear it like an engagement ring, or that I can think of it that way if I want to?" Slipping the ring out of the box, it's obvious immediately that it will fit you pretty perfectly and you wonder if Joel tried to do any sneaky measuring of your ring finger while you were sleeping or something like that.t 9:21 PM

He bites his lip and resists the urge to fold his arms over his chest. "I want- it's kind of up to you, baby." He reminds you. "I should ask you though, right?" He's talking to himself, rolling his eyes at how he is bungling it up. "Do you want to get married? If they do weddings here?"9:29 PM

If you were going to tease him, you would remind him that his brother and Maria got married. That there is something like marriage here in Jackson, even without the way weddings were in the past. And the end of the world, marriage is about a commitment between people. Not about a thousand dollar dress or haggling over the guest list. And honestly? That is the way you would have wanted it even back then. "Yes," you nod, that smile spreading back across your face as you hold your shaky hand out to him. "Yes, I absolutely do."35 PM

Joel takes the hint, carefully pulling the ring from the box and taking your hand gently to push the ring onto your finger. "It fits." He sighs out in relief. "Tying a string around your finger to measure it worked." He looks up into your eyes with a grin. "How do you like it?"t 9:41 PM

"It's perfect." Wrapping your arms around his neck, you press into his space and let yourself just breathe him in. Grateful for the coincidence that brought you together, for the accident that has sealed your connection, and for the love that has bound you. "I love you."

“I love you too, baby.” Joel vows softly, pressing his lips to yours. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon   @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo @madnessofadaydreamer

For series: @lol-im-done @sezren @kyuupidwrites @spxctorsslxt       @mythrielofsolitude @missmarmaladeth @midgetpottermills @spishsstuff @wrathofcats @rickysgrimes @that-friend-in-the-corner @123passwort @taygra5shaon @buckysmainhxe @mariwinns16 @superflymaterial @s1xthirty @gothicxbarbie @pedrettilov3r @flyingmushroomss @littleshadow17 @lovelyygirl8 @hairspeaks @zliteraturehoe @princessgriffin1998 @belahbelieve @leatherbride @ccomandercody @spacelatinos4life​ @gracie7209 @whorunstheworldgirls

My Masterlist!

[ghostfacd]

BEAUTIFUL BOY! — LUKE HUGHES

au masterlist

author’s note: i wrote this after waking up from my high nap LMAOO shh anyway listen to beautiful boy to enhance the experience ! this can be read as a stand alone but i recommend reading my au for context.

ynuser

liked by lhughes_06, jackhughes, kiellestapa and 462 others

ynuser my first baby. my entire world. rowden quintin hughes, you came into the world a 7 pound beautiful curly haired blonde baby. it felt like yesterday when i first held you close to me. thank you for making me a mother rowdy, happy 2nd birthday my beautiful boy.

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jackhughes please let me and quinny meet him!

↳ quinnhughes LITERALLY.

lhughes_06 happy birthday my special boy.

markestapa HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THEO’S BEST BUDDD

kiellestapa it seems like it was just yesterday when i saw you coming out the delivery room with rowdy. happy birthday rowden quintin hughes, you are so loved my boy.

↳ ynuser he loves his auntie so much 🥲🫶🫶

When it was Rowden’s second birthday, Luke decided he was finally going to let his brothers see his son. It was a mutual decision between him and his girlfriend, they knew how much Jack and Quinn wanted to see Rowdy.

Luke had regretted leaving Y/N that day back in London so he could pursue his hockey career at Umich. If he could travel back in time, he would’ve swallowed his dreams and stayed with her. But he couldn’t—so he was going to spend the rest of his life making it up to her and Rowden for being absent the first year of his life.

“Oh my god.” The voice of Jack breaks Luke out of his daze. He watches as his older brother picks up Rowden, who, despite being a very fussy kid when it came to strangers, smiled contently in his uncle’s hold. “Hi buddy!”

Luke could’ve sworn he saw tears in his brother’s eyes. Quinn, who was currently waiting his turn in the back, wiped his eyes with his sweater, not wanting to cry in front of his younger brothers.

“I cant believe you named him Rowden Quintin Hughes,” Quinn says, his face converted into a frown, only because he was on the verge of sobbing.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Y/N pats him on the back, giving him a comforting smile. “You and Jack have always been there for me back at Hogwarts. You two were like my older brothers. The least I could do is name Rowdy after you.”

“We love you Y/N,” Jack says, his lips wobbling. “Thank you for putting up with our brother.”

His words make the four of you laugh. Rowden, sensing your happiness, claps his hand, his smile ever so prominent. You give him a kiss on the cheek, glad your family was one again, and you knew Rowden would grow up very loved.

ynuser

liked by lhughes_06, quinnhughes and 770 others

ynuser also happy 1 year anniversary to my hot hockey boyfriend, lukey warren hughes. thank you for giving me a chance that day back at hogwarts when i asked you out after your quidditch game. we’ve been together for 4 years but you had to go pursue your dreams at umich, and i honestly couldn’t be more proud of where you’re at now. you’re one of the most stubborn, moody, and charming person i know. the best hockey and quidditch player, and most importantly, the best daddy to rowden. keep winning baby, go blue!! 💙

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lhughes_06 happy 1 year anniversary baby. i thank the gods everyday for sending you to me after my quidditch game. thank you for putting up with my mood swings and hotheaded self. love u and rowdy more than words can express.

↳ ynuser 🥹🥹

jackhughes okaaaay fine i admit you two are pretty cute..

kiellestapa MY OTP

quinnhughes

liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06, ynuser, and 2,432 others

quinnhughes uncle life is pretty cool.

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jackhughes pretty cool? SUPER cool.

jackhughes we love rowdy

↳ quinnhughes yes we do

ynuser rowdy loves his uncles!!

↳ lhughes_06 he likes me better.

lhughes_06

liked by ynuser, jackhughes, markestapa and 1,500 others

lhughes_06 the monster’s gone, he’s on the run, and your daddy’s here.

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ynuser beautiful boy.

markestapa best new dad

↳ lhughes_06 love ya buddy.

[creepycranberry]

Same people different circumstances: Pt 2

Pt 1

Warnings: not proofread, baby babble, flying toys, fluff, not proofread

——————————

You and Eddie had fallen into a rhythm, he came over most weeknights for dinner and would sometimes stay over when he accidentally stayed too late.

He would usually sleep on the couch or on the recliner chair in the nursery if Winnie was being particularly fussy. It was nice to have him around again, though the question of what your relationship was hung heavy over the both of you. You ignored it for the most part but late afternoons were spent watching Winnie and Eddie exist together like it was so natural and sometimes, just for a moment, you let yourself believe that nothing had ever happened. This was just how things were, this was the life you got to live.

Eddie had been around plenty of kids, but this was slightly different. Because babies weren’t technically yet kids. Steve’s son was about three months younger than Winnie. He wasn’t talking yet, he said baby babble and that was it.

Winnie had certain words down.

Her new favorite being “no.”

Every opportunity she had to use this new fancy word she took. Whether it was a whine over it being bedtime or a simple answer to a question or a shriek when bath time inevitably came around, no was said. No was said with such vigor that somehow it managed to cancel out the no’s she was told by you and Eddie.

And a no mixed with her now being able to walk was almost impossible to deal with at times.

It was a bath time tantrum that caused a slight emotional breakdown for you.

Eddie had a date tonight, which already put you in a somewhat sour mood, despite the fact that you were the one to suggest it.

You felt bad that he was giving you so much of his life, and while he didn’t mind it was eating away at you. You guys weren’t a couple and you weren’t exactly at a point in life where dating was a priority and you wanted him to be able to have fun and go out. It wasn’t fair that you keep him with you to help take care of your kid.

So he was out with Delia, who he had met at work when she went to get some maintenance done on her car.

You had found her number in his wallet when grabbing some cash to tip a pizza guy the other week and you had encouraged him to call her.

And now both you and your daughter were in a sour mood due to his absence.

She had already all but refused her dinner, but what she did decide to eat was mushed into her shirt so you had told her it was time for a bath And now you were sitting on your bathroom floor while Winnie repeatedly said, “no mommy! No baf!” While she played with her bath toys on the floor.

“Come on, baby, please?”

She shook her head, her signature pout finding its way to her lips as she began to cry in frustration.

“No baf mommy!” She insisted and you sighed.

“What do I have to do to get you to take a bath, Winnie-Bear?” You asked and she huffed.

“No Baf!” She reiterated and you groaned.

“Come on, baby, take a bath and then we can watch Bambi or Eeyore and then Eddie will be here to put you to bed and tuck you in and read you a story.” Winnie shakes her head again, “Winifred Lane you need to take a bath!” You snap and her bottom lip juts out and she begins sniffling.

“I’m sorry, baby, I just need you to-“ you’re interrupted by a Little People Horse figurine hitting you in the eye.

“Mean mommy.” She wails.

You can’t help but cry too.

Throwing was another addition she had discovered recently but she hadn’t quite gotten the concept of aim. It was likely she hadn’t meant I throw it at you, she was just frustrated and didn’t know what to do with it.

And the rational part of you knows that but the shock of it causes you to start crying too, covering your eye.

You simply stand up, trying to hide your misty eyes from Winnie as you walk out of the bathroom, leaving her standing there, wailing.

And That was the moment Eddie just had to walk through the door.

“What’s Wrong? Where’s Winnie?” He asks immediately, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe the tears from your cheeks but you don’t want it. You’re too overwhelmed, you don’t want to be touched or talked to or to hear your baby sobbing from the other room.

So you just point to the bathroom and then walk around him.

When Eddie goes into the bathroom Winnie is red in the face and crying so hard she can barely breathe.

“Aw, sweetheart.” He mumbles, “breaking my heart.”

He sits on the floor by her and holds out his arms, she climbs into his lap and sobs into his chest. He tries to sooth her the best he can, patting her back and humming ‘Winnie Lane is in my ears and in my eyes’

He stands to pace around the small bathroom, continuing to pat her back.

“What’s wrong, girlie?” He asks her.

“Me-mean mommy.” She sobs.

Eddie shakes his head, “she’s not mean, baby, she’s just tired. I think you’re a little tired too.”

The mere suggestion makes her worse, “no daddy! No bed!”

Eddie freezes, “you don’t have to go to bed yet, baby.”

She looks up at him with her red face and dramatic pout and Eddie melts, holding her as close as possible, “and I’m Eddie. Not Daddy. I know they sound similar but they aren’t-“

“No.” She shakes her head, still hiccuping a little but calmed at the knowledge that she’s not yet being sent to bed. She points a chubby finger at his chest, “daddy.”

She says it like it’s the most obvious thing.

“Sweetheart, why are you calling me that?” Eddie smiles.

“Mamá Lena.”

The old Cuban woman must have just assumed. She had always liked Eddie so it made sense he supposed.

“Do you want to color?” He asks her, changing the subject in hopes of distracting her so he can check on you.

She nods and almost throws herself out of his arms.

He sets her up in her high chair with a coloring book and some crayons, helping her pick out a coloring page before quietly heading down the hall to the bedroom.

The lights are off but Eddie can make out the faint outline of the bundle of blankets on the bed, the unmistakable snuffles coming from it make his heart squeeze.

“Sweetheart?” He coos softly to you but you just sniffle again. He sits on the bed, kicking his shoes off before putting his feet on the bed cause he knows it drives you crazy, “come on, can you sit up for me?” He reaches to the nightstand and flicks on the lamp.

You peek your head out of the blanket and he frowns at your tear streaked cheeks and at the one eye that seems redder than the other.

“What happened, sweetheart?” Eddie says softly, wiping away your tears with his thumb and moving your hair out of your face.

“She just got so upset, I just wanted her to take a bath but she was fussing and whining and I snapped at her and she started to cry and she threw a toy at me and it kind of shocked me and I just couldn’t do it and then you got here and I must’ve looked like the worst mom in the world but I just-“

“Hey,” he scooches closer to hold you better and you rest your forehead on his bicep,”you’re a great mom, you just got a little overwhelmed and I wasn’t here to help like normal, it’s okay.”

You scrunch your eyebrows together, “why are you back so early?”

Eddies eyes widen and he avoids your gaze, “just got tired.”

“Eddie.”

He sighs, “I hated it. She was great, she was fun to talk to but then I just kept talking about Winnie and I hated leaving the two of you here and disrupting Winnie’s normal and by the end she just told me to go home.”

“I’m sorry.” You mumble, picking at your thumb nail.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I feel like I somehow ruined your date.”

“You did no such thing.” Eddie sighs, “and from what I can tell it’s good that I came home when I did. Apparently all hell breaks loose when I leave for too long.”

You scoff and roll your eyes, allowing yourself to lean into him a little bit more, “we did miss you though.”

“I missed you, too. Let’s get some ice on your eye.”

“It’s fine, Ed's, it's not even that bad.” You shrug, wiping your nose with your sleeve.

“Nope. Just in case.” Eddie stands up and holds your hands to pull you up into a standing position.

You groan but get up and he holds your hand all the way down the hall.

“Mommy!” Winnie’s little arms reach out to you and you pick her up, holding her close.

“Hey, Winnie-girl.”

Eddie walks up to the both of you with a cold pack, inspecting your eye, “she’s got quite the arm. Should sign her up for softball.”

“And let her get a concussion or sprain her ankle? Over my dead body.”

Eddie chuckles and shakes his head, holding the ice pack to your eye. Winnie reaches out to see what he’s got, jumping at the temperature.

“It’s cold, Winnie-bear.” Eddie informs her, using your nickname for her.

The three of you migrate to the couch, Eddie holding Winnie, “she still needs a b-a-t-h.” You sigh.

“Maybe it’ll go smoother with the both of us.” Eddie offers and you shrug.

“Maybe. Hey Winnie? How about that bath, baby?”

Immediately she pouts, looking at Eddie to save her. When he doesn’t do anything she wraps her little arms around his neck and holds on tight, trying to distract him with a cuddle.

“Come on, after your bath I can read you a story and we can cuddle in your chair.” Eddie says and she shakes her head, “well then I guess you don’t want the new story I got you.” He sighs, “oh well. Maybe I can it read it to mommy since you wrong want to-“

“Baf, mommy?” Winnie perks up and you smile.

“Come on baby.”

She lets you give her a bath and dry her off. She picks out her pajamas and then pulls herself up into her chair, looking at Eddie expectantly, “sto-y, daddy?”

You look at Eddie with raised eyebrows, “daddy?”

“Uh, yeah I uh- miss Lena said something I guess. I tried to correct her earlier but she said no and-”

“So long as you stick around I don’t give a damn what she calls you.” You assure him, leaning your head into his shoulder, “that’s all up to her.”

Eddie nods and maintains eye contact with you until Winnie lets out an impatient huff.

“I’m coming, Winnie Lane.” He smiles, swooping her up into his arm and attacking her chubby cheek with little kisses.

You leave so he can put her to bed.

——-

After about a half hour Eddie wanders into your room, eyes slightly droopy. You scorch over to give him room and he flops down on the bed next to you.

“Come here often?” He quips, laying on his side with his head resting on his hand.

You laugh and shake your head, “not at all.”

“Damn. So I just got lucky, huh?”

“I guess so.” You shrug.

“How’s your eye?”

“It’s alright. It doesn’t hurt. I don’t think it will bruise.”

“That’s good.”

“How was the date other than what you told me?” You inquire and Eddie exhales deeply, leaning back onto your headboard.

“It wasn’t bad. She was fun to talk to, the restaurant was nice. She could just tell that I had missed you and Winnie and she was sweet about it, but she told me that maybe dating wasn’t something I wanted to do right now.” He explains and you nod.

“So I guess you’re done with dating for the moment?”

“No.” Eddie shakes his head and you involuntarily pout.

“What do you mean? You said you hated leaving Winnie and that you just needed to-”

“Well I figure if I’m dating Winnie’s mom I’ll get to see her more.” He shrugs, a sly grin overtaking his features.

You pause slightly for a moment, you feel the blush creep into your cheeks and you have to really try not to stutter when you clarify, “Was that an ask out?”

“Depends on whether or not you’d say yes.” Eddie smiles, fiddling with his rings.

“yes.” You say a bit too quickly for you liking, “I mean- yeah, sure.” You think for a second more, “but if it doesn’t work out you have to still be there for Winnie. I would forgive my-“

“I'm not gonna leave you sweetheart. And I would never dream of leaving her.” Eddie reassures you, pulling you closer into him and kissing the top of your head.

He doesn’t say the rest of what he’s thinking, which is that he had spent a year just wishing to have you back. There was no chance he would be letting you go anytime soon, or ever.

You nod and look up at him, wide eyed and smiley.

He looks back at you the same way and leans down, kissing you on the cheek.

You pout a little and Eddie smiles, knowing where Winnie got that habit from, “what?”

“Eddie?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can you grow a pair and kiss me for real?” You sigh and Eddie laughs.

“Nothing I’d rather do, sweet girl.”

He leans down and brushes your lips with his, you can feel his grin and smell his cologne and shampoo.

You wanted to bathe in that smell, to have it around you all the time.

And Eddie would gladly make sure you could always have right there with you. He would always make sure that he was right there with you.

[schrodingers-romy]

Care [Madarame Shion x Reader]

Pairing: Madarame Shion x GN!Reader Word count: ~700 [Ao3 Link]

Summary: Caring for Shion after he gets a stomach ache

Warnings: none really; reader has no gendered pronouns

Notes: short lil fluff piece for my boy's belated bday <3 barely edited but I think it's cute

“I can’t believe you’re being so cruel to me,” your boyfriend moaned, still clutching his stomach.

“It’s hard to feel sympathy for you when you did this to yourself.” Despite your somewhat harsh words, you were still gentle with him. You grabbed his hand, pulling it from his abdomen so you could replace it with a warm water bottle. Shion let out a small sigh of relief once the warmth hit his muscles and melted into the heat. You tried to drop his hand, but he refused to let you go, instead threading his fingers through yours and yanking you onto the bed with him.

You pulled an awkward half-shoulder-roll to avoid flopping down onto Shion’s already painful stomach, instead landing on your back next to him with an overdramatic “oof”.

Shion took the opportunity to snuggle into your side, wrapping one lanky arm around you while the other kept the warm bottle pressed to his abdomen.

You let out a light huff of a laugh, letting yourself be held. You stretched one arm around his shoulders so you could scratch your fingers through the long blond hair on the unshaven side of his head. He pressed his head up into your hand, like a fussy pet demanding more attention from its owner. “You’re not a mad dog, you’re just a little puppy, aren’t you,” you cooed.

Shion pouted up at you. “That’s not fair! I’m sick, I need the attention.”

“You wouldn’t BE so sick if you hadn’t decided to eat all that spicy curry yesterday.”

He doesn’t reply to that.

You had tried to stop him from having that curry yesterday, knowing how sensitive his stomach was, but he wouldn’t listen. Your boyfriend liked to brag about having an iron stomach (like an absolute liar). He especially liked to keep up the illusion in front of his Tenjiku friends, as if they all weren’t aware about his belly issues after knowing him for years. But it was his birthday, so you decided he could be allowed one bad decision as a reward for surviving another year (with your help, of course).

And now here you both were, dealing with the consequences of Shion’s actions.

“Do you want any tea?” you asked him softly, noticing him wince a bit, no doubt at another wave of cramps.

He shook his head. “Jus’ wanna cuddle.”

You relaxed into his side and continued your ministrations in his hair. Your boyfriend was a warm, comforting weight next to you as the two of you laid together, simply basking in quiet companionship.

Shion was the first to break the silence, his tone uncharacteristically soft. “…thank you.”

“For what?” you murmured.

“For takin’ care of me,” he said. He suddenly seemed very interested in the bottle on his stomach, looking down at it as his blunt nails picked at its edges. “I know I’m a hassle sometimes…an’ I’m glad you put up with me.”

You were silent for a moment. He was right; he was a hassle. He didn’t think before he spoke, he got into fights, he got beaten up in half of those fights, he gave himself stomach aches eating spicy food, and he flunked out of school. He was loud, cocky, and a bit stupid. But in the end that didn’t matter, because you knew that he was more than that. Shion was so sweet underneath all his bluster. He looked at first glance like he spent his time terrorizing children and kicking puppies, but instead he let his younger cousins hang off him when they visited and gave his neighbor’s dog leftover pieces of meat from his dinner. Around you, he stuck his foot in his mouth a lot, but he was always kind, and he always held such a genuine admiration for you; the sort of admiration you had never felt from anyone else before. All of this and more went through your mind, but you weren’t sure how or even if you could communicate it to him.

So instead, you gave his hair a light tug, causing him to let out a small whine. “Of course I put up with you, idiot,” you said, tone unbearably fond. “You’re my boyfriend, and I care for you.”

He let out a single, quiet, “oh.”

It was the closest either of you had ever come to a love confession, and you both knew it.

“I care for you too. ‘Cause you’re mine jus’ like I’m yours,” he said, twisting to press the lightest, barely-noticeable kiss to your shoulder.

You said nothing, but the way you clutched him tighter and kissed him on the forehead was enough of a response for both of you.

[earl-grey-teacake]

oh lord I can picture it. George and Alex bring Logan to the paddock for the first time and they have to go somewhere and they're not sure what to do with Logan. And James volunteers to look after him and they get SUPER nervous like "are you sure James? he can be really fussy if we leave him, he can get really upset" obviously super worried about the impression it will leave on James if Logan is upset. James is like "nah I got this".

and at first Logan starts crying but then James just talks to him. like, at first, doesn't even talk to him about anything particular, then starts explaining the Williams upgrade for the weekend, and suddenly he has an armful of happy, sleepy baby.

and when Galex return they find James reading aloud from the latest data about the tyres and Logan is settled on his chest all peaceful and sleepy and smiling. and soon baby!Logan's favourite part of the weekend (other than when Galex cuddle him and take him home) is spending time with Uncle James. Uncle James and his ridiculously nice voice.

Yes!!!

James has such great vibes. I can't listen to his interviews when I'm at work for too long because I get sleepy. They're so calming and he's always so articulate.

Baby! Logan would have the best time during the race weekend. Just completely knocked out during the races as James is running through what's happening. The downside is that he sleeps so much during the day that he's very active at night.

Thank you for the ask! I wrote a little snippet below! :)❤️

Logan had his arms wrapped tightly around George’s neck, refusing to let go despite the fact that they George had to attend to media duties.

“Come on, Logan. We have to go.” Alex tried to coax the infant to let go but if only seemed to make him more distressed. George tired to pull Logan off him but that only spurred him on to grip harder. 

“Uhhhh!” Logan kicked against George’s ribs and started to whimper.

“What’re we going to do? We can’t just bring him?” Alex gently stroked Logan head, hoping to prevent any crying from happening.

“How about I look after him?” A voice intervened. James walked over, arms outstretched to take Logan.

Alex and George exchanged a nervous look. “Are you sure James? He can get really fussy when we leave. We don’t want to get so upset that you can’t do your work.”

“It will be okay. I can handle it.” The process of dislodging Logan was an ordeal. The poor baby gripped at whatever he could to avoid being separated whether it be George’s hair or shirt before trying to cling onto Alex’s jacket.

“Wahhh!” Logan pushed and wiggled, trying to get free.

“Please call us if you need anything.” George implored before quickly taking off with Alex.

“Wahhh!” Logan’s face was bright red.

“I know,” James patted Logan on the back. “I know you’re very upset but your parents have very important jobs to do today. They also don’t want to leave you but they’ll be back soon.”

This did nothing to quell the wailing but Logan was starting to get tired enough that he started to lay his head down on James’s shoulders to continue crying.

“It’ll be okay. Your parents don’t even like media duties so maybe they’ll be back quite quickly. Though Alex is quite good at being in front of a camera…The rear suspension legs are re-oriented due to the new air flow structure.” It had taken 15 minutes of James talking about media duties, the marketing department, and the new upgrades for Logan to knock out.

Alex was sure he never held as much contempt for marketing and media day as today. It was bad enough being separated from Logan but to also be asked question about whether or not they can be good drivers knowing that they have to take care of a child made him want to pull his hair out. George was practically sprinting to Williams having teared up earlier when he had to leave Logan.

I can’t believe I have two crybabies

The two of them were directed to James’s office. The door was slightly open and there was talking inside. “During Silverstone, we started off on softs…”

George was prepared for a meltdown from Logan and a potential breakdown from James because his baby had the stamina to cry for over an hour. Instead, he found Logan comfortably knocked as James rattled off tire data. Maybe it was better to have Logan stay at Williams for the time being.

[kwillow]

I have this strong feeling that theo would be very happy to live in one of my oc's nations. (Hes a minotaur prince of a country that religiously collects any and ALL forms of knowledge cause they believe knowledge no matter what about or how you got it, is not evil also they do necromancy) Unless theo likes to lie in which case just dont do it infront of the crown prince and he'll be golden. The prince tends to skin people alive for lying to him u.u

Theo's a man of ethics, you know. He's taken a Hypocritic Oath.

Alas, I worry Theo might not be as at home in such a nation as one might think, despite his, erm, hobbies.

His studies into necromancy/blood magic are done out of a sense of filial duty, and as a rather fussy man with a prudish personality, he finds the hands-on application of it quite revolting and something to be endured rather than enjoyed. Additionally, Theo may be a nerd who loves books and dark magic and books about dark magic, but he is also a proud scion and adherent of an archaic aristocratic line. As such, he comes packaged with some rather staid, traditionalist values and the belief that most people are inherently his lesser. His few social experiences haven't dissuaded him from the opinion that the vast majority of people are some combination of brutish, stupid, and dissolute.

All that to say - he believes that he himself has the proper motivations, intellect and capacity for self-control (ha) to practice responsible crimes against nature, but would he say the same of wide swathes of society? Certainly not! A kingdom wherein necromancy is widespread and celebrated would naturally have too many lowly people who should never practice such a gruesome, potent art doing so, and that means the kingdom itself must be corrupt.

He would view the collection of dubiously-attained knowledge similarly. He would certainly like to partake in such knowledge, because he is a noble man of good breeding and fine manners who can understand and apply such knowledge with a gentleman's delicate touch. As a curiosity, and out of an appreciation for historical artifacts, he would like ancient tomes of evil work preserved, but not accessible to the unwashed masses who would sully them or use them for ill. Better to remain in a private library, read only by those who engage in appropriate self-flagellation after. Who decides what to preserve and which people should get access to it? Well, himself, of course! He wouldn't trust any other curator's judgment. Another strike, in his view, against a kingdom with a laissez-faire approach to science.

Also, while he values (often brutal) honesty and is certainly not a consummate confabulator of the caliber of Hyden or Ambroys, Theo will use deception to achieve his own ends. Just... not often very well. He's not exactly rocking a Charisma build. He also tends to chafe against male authority figures, especially if they threaten any consequences of his actions. It might end badly for him on the "skinning alive" front.

Anyway - I wouldn't stamp Theo's visa to the minotaur prince's kingdom, for everyone's sake. Best case scenario, he rudely complains about everyone there being debased reprobates the whole time and everyone is extremely uncomfortable. Worst case scenario, I've got one dead rat-sans-pelt and the city's libraries have been ransacked by a man who feels like common people are too dumb and immoral to read medical textbooks and the Kama Sutra alike.

[mikichko]

THAT ANON BACK FOR A CUTE THOUGHT!!!!!! Johnny and Simon drive Zach to school everyday before Johnny drops Simon off at work. When you eventually fold into the family, you make a red light kiss tax. Everytime the car is stopped at a red light, she gives a kiss on the cheek to all her boys in the car. Ghoap used to hate red lights (impatient, both of them. Road rage but not really, yknow?), but now they find themselves hoping every light is red and taking the long way home just to hear you whoop and say “kiss tax!”

cariño i adore the way your brain works!!!!

it's like one of their favorite parts of the new family dynamics and literally why the boys prefer driving over any other mode of transportation. they fucking adore your kisses.

personal headcanon but i feel like the boys, really all of the 141, are incredibly touch starved. even when it was just johnny and simon they had a point of contact between them at all times, no matter how small. this extends to zach who is showered with all kinds of physical love. that boy is given kisses, hugs, piggyback rides, he's carried, he's bundled, he's cuddled, they do everything to make sure that their boy knows how much he's loved.

and then you, oh of course you! i personally feel like the kiss tax is started relatively early in your new established relationship. it's summer holiday, you've all managed to sync up your days off, and you decide to do a family day at the aquarium. you're still trying to find your footing on how you fit into ghoap's pretty established dynamic so the most physicality around this time is some slight brushes here and there. fun outing regadless.

the problem is that despite it being the summer holiday the traffic never eases up. so of course, when you're in the car for 15 minutes and you've only managed to inch forward through two green lights you sprint out the kiss tax. zach starts getting a little fussy in his seat, legs thumping on the plastic, sometimes the plush seat below it, when you absentmindedly plant a kiss on his cheek. he immediately squeals, causing soap to turn around and simon to glance in the rearview, and reels back from you.

"what was that!?" he giggles out and you just pinch his cheeks. "it's a kiss tax!"

up at the front johnny and simon exchange a glance, simon's grip on the wheel lessens a bit as you explain, "well, when there's a red light it means you get a kiss!" as if to prove your point, the yellow light in front of you turns and bathes the car in red.

zach glances back and forth excitedly between you and the light, practically bouncing off the seat, "does that mean I get another?"

"one for every red," you nod back before planting the next one on his forehead. he dissolves into giggles again, fingers prodding the spots where your lips just were a few moments ago.

soap's grinning now, body angled completely towards the both of you his left arm resting on simon's left shoulder, "first I'm hearing about this tax. is no age exception, right?" cheeky little smile shot at you.

you really can't help the heat rushes to your face at this man, who you still cannot believe you're in a relationship with, is so openly gunning for a kiss from you. really he wants a lot more but baby steps you shake your head back at him, "no age exceptions. everyone's subject to the kiss tax"

soap feigns a dramatic gasp, "love," he pats simon's shoulder, "ye hearin'? committing tax fraud in our very own car, can ye believe?"

simon just hums in acknowledgement before johnny continues, "cannae have that. upstanding citizen's we are. if we've got to be taxed, we'll be taxed with honor." and he offers his cheek to you.

you're still a little timid but you press a soft little kiss to his cheek before pulling back a bit. johnny shoots you a pleased little smile, "cannae forget about sprout too, lass," tilting his head over towards simon. who is still staring ahead, watching for openings but the corners of his mouth are ticked upwards. they spread wider when you press a kiss to his cheek, catching both the smooth and scraggly parts of his face. they're all pleased as punch.

the ride back home is just more red lights and rounds of kisses til you make it home. johnny manages to tilt his head at just the right second on one of the kisses and plant a nice big kiss on your lips. simon, trying his best to be diligent, turns just enough for you to plant one of the corner of his lips, with a promise of a proper kiss at home.

not only do they enjoy red lights not but johnny and simon flip a coin every time they're about to get into the car to see whose going to drive and whose going to be the one to get lenghier kisses out of you.

[luvneymar]

Kylian x wife reader where she just gave birth to twin girls and she’s sitting on the bed feeding them. And kylian comes to cuddle them. And he’s just so obsessed with you and them. ☺️

NEWBORN CUDDLES — kylian mbappé

As you held your new baby-girls not even a day old you felt nothing but joy, when you had gotten pregnant and found out you and Kylian were going to have twins you felt nothing but terror.

You both hadn’t planned on having kids so soon especially 2 but seeing your girls the moment they came out you knew everything would be okay. As you sung a French lullaby soothing your newborns napped in your arms.

Despite you feeling slightly uncomfortable with 2 babies the size & weight of 3 coconuts in both of your arms you also felt nothing but love for them. As you stared at their peaceful sleeping faces the names you guys picked out for him suddenly came to mind.

“Vivienne & Séraphine?” As the names rolled off your tongue almost perfectly you noticed that both of your babies smiled as they looked up at you with their big brown eyes. “Vivienne & Théa Mbappé [Last Name]? You like that?”

“They’re a mouthful though, how about Vi? Vivi? I think Vivi is nice. Do you like it?” You booped Vivienne’s nose watching as she giggled each time you did. “You do like it! Vivi it is.”

“As for you missy, I think Théa is cute & short already. Do you like it?” As we’re about to boop her nose she grabbed your index finger and wrapped her extremely tiny hands around it. “Aww you do like it! That’s great.”

As you sat there cooing over your newborn baby-girls talking too them, kissing them, cuddling them around 30 minutes had passed and they were beginning to get hungry. “You guys are hungry?” You asked as if they could respond

Clearly they could as Vivi grabbed onto your hospitals gown pulling it as hard as her newborn hands could. “Alright guys mommy’s coming hold on.”

You had slipped through the thin hospital gown with ease and let your breasts out placing your nipple in-front of your fussy newborn baby-girls before readjusting yourself to be able to feed both of them at the same time.

As soon as you begun feeding Kylian burst into the room sweating like a dog and completely out of breath. “Are you alright? I came as fast as I could. Where are the nurses! And the OB?”

“Ky calm down, you’re gonna startle the girls. I just got them to stop fussing.” You responded to your panicking husband in a hushed tone as you turned to look at him smiling as you saw the look of relief wash over him.

“Oh God, you gave birth already? I swear I came as fast as I could. I didn’t expect you to give birth that quickly.” Kylian explained himself as he walked over to where his girls were legs practically made of Jelly.

“It’s okay baby, I didn’t expect it to be so fast as well. I believe you, calm down.” You eased your husbands nerves along with the babies, it seems as if his loud voice startled them a bit.

“Love they’re beautiful. Can I hold them?” He asked as he walked towards the bed kissing you on your forehead as he admired his baby-girl’s & their cuteness. “Of course they’re your own babies, once they’re done eating though.”

“Of course, of course.” Kylian had sighed in relief as he removed his shoes and climbed into the hospital bed along with you wrapping his arms around you as his other hand stroked the hair of Vivienne.

“Have you named them already?” Kylian asks as he changed his position so he could stroke the hair of Théa as well.

“Yeah I named them what we came up with remember?” You reminded him as you eased Théa off your breast once she was full enough with Vivi coming right after.

“Vivienne & Théa Mbappé [Last Name]?” Kylian asks as you hand him Vivienne whilst you cradle Théa over your shoulder lightly patting her back in order to burp her.

“Ah they’re beautiful love, just like you. Vivienne has your lips. Along with your eyebrows.” Kyla in pointed out brushing Vivi’s eyebrows out with his thumb so they weren’t as asymmetrical. “Is that even a thing? Babies having your eyebrows of all things?”

“It most certainly is, look at her. The shape is the exact same.” You laughed lightly nudging your husband in his side. “You’re ridiculous Ky. But Théa does have your smile. I saw it she smiles a lot.”

“She certainly does.” Kylian replied as you both soon sat in silence just appreciating the atmosphere & the moment. “Thank you for blessing me with such beautiful children (Name), I couldn’t ask for a better person to raise them with.”

“Me too Ky, I love you so much.” You whispered turning to him leaning in for a quick kiss before pulling away. “I love you more love, so much more.”

[dulcewrites]

Fool Me Once (part 8)

Pairing: Aemond targaryen x reader (once again.. kind of lol)

Summary: Daella achieves a feat, while you reach your breaking point. Startling discovery is unearthed in King's Landing (wc: 5.5k)

A/N: ok… so a lot happens in this part. We have some shit we need to handle. And we are officially getting into the political stuff. I don’t really have much to preface this with but I hope y’all enjoy lmao. Please reblog, like, and follow. Also come and chat if you read anything you like.

Fmo masterlist

Young Landyn Massey turns out to be a much-needed addition while at Dragonstone. Terribly shy but extremely useful. Unassuming, clearly in need of a friend and quiet as a mouse; the perfect person to have to suit your needs.

His fascination with you had seem to spiral itself into hero worship for Quinton. A young member of the Kingsguard that stood out against the few older ones that occupied Dragonstone under Rhaenyra’s behest. He had even gone as far to ask for lessons from him.

“I am sure you can learn something from watching Prince Daemon,” you say over breaking your fast. “He must be tending to Jacaerys and Lucerys’ swordsmanship.”

Landyn shakes his head, blonde curls flopping with him. “He does not teach the princes.”

Quinton and you exchange a look.

“Their good father has not been continuing their training lessons?”

“Most of the training has been overseen by Ser Darklyn, but it is few and far between,” he shovels more bread and jam into his mouth.

For all the faults Daemon has, he is skilled with the sword and an accomplished warrior. Former leader of the Gold Cloaks that has also seen actual battle. Not taking it upon himself to help his sons after they missed years of training is an inditement on their relationship to you.

Dragons to their names are of course assets, but that does not mean their dragons will always be around. Protection for them seems of no concern for them. No protection for the boys, no attention for the girls. It makes you wonder what Daemon and Rhaenyra have been doing the past six years; the priority seems to lie in creating more heirs. Heirs that ironically bluster and hinder Rhaenyra’s claim. She has true born Targaryen sons that stand in clear contrast to ones she had before Daemon.

“I am sure Ser Quinton can show you something.”

Quinton raises his dark brows, and you raise yours back. He sighs, but agrees, nonetheless. Landyn leaves the two of you in the hurry once his lady mother calls for him.

While pouring more tea, you notice Quinton staring at you incredulously.

“What,” your shoulders slump. You lower your voice a bit. “I know it may be a bit much have a kid follow you around, but I think it is from a good place. If you really do not want to teach him anything, I can tell him.”

He shakes his head, before scratching the scruff on his face. “It has nothing to do with him. I want to know what you’re up to.”

You try to put on a look of confusion.

“I know you, and I know where this is going,” he frowns softly. “All I can ask is that if you confront him or ask anything or him, you do it with me in the room.”

Quinton’s distain for Daemon has been well documented since being at Dragonstone. He doesn’t seem to trust him nor Rhaenyra, but he manages to hold his tongue about the named heir. You lean over and grab his hand.

“I will not do anything with Daemon without you knowing.”

He nods slowly, choosing to believe you despite knowing how your impulses and restlessness seems to be carrying you these days. You received a long lecture from him when he could not find you in your chambers one evening. His tone softened when told him that you walked the halls of the castle after not being able to sleep. It was a particularly fussy night for Alaric, who you finally lulled to sleep.

It was not exactly a lie, the same way telling him you would not deal with Daemon without him was not a lie. You did walk the halls, not able to sleep. Since coming to Dragonstone, you have had the most vivid dreams. Fire, blood, rich black hair attached to a faceless woman. It keeps you up at night. Who is she, and what does she want with you?

You left out that you tried to get into Daemon’s study just to realize it was locked.

You don’t plan on confronting Daemon. He is too much of a wild card for that. Why confront him for the truth when there are other avenues?

———

The day flies by and by the night, you find yourself in Baela’s apartments. The two of you in your dressing grown, all ready for bed. She sat at her vanity while you stood behind her. You gently oiled her silvery blonde curls. It was a soothing pastime that you did with Daella too. There was even time that Aemond let you brush his hair before bed. You were always envious of how soft it was.

“May I ask you something a bit… personal,” Baela’s voice cuts through the peaceful silence within the room. You nod, meeting her eye in the mirror.

“How did your labors go?”

The question takes you a bit by surprise. Being a mother is such a large part of your life but having your children is something you push out of your memories. The whole experience was scary enough, not even mentioning everything going on in your life at the time. When you had Daella, there are was excitement but debilitating fear of being a mother. With Alaric, your mind strayed to bringing another child into this mess of a family.

You knew Baela lost her mother lost to do child birth; the last thing you want to do is make her more scared.

“They were hard and painful,” you admit. Upsetting her was not your intention, but lying does no one any good in a life-or-death situation like labor. “But the septas and maesters that tended to me were helpful, and in the end, it was all worth it. Daella took longer while Alaric came fast.”

She nods slightly before looking down at her hands.

“I understand if you have reservations about marriage and children. Perhaps you can speak with Rhaenyra about it. I am sure she had similar worries.”

The suggestion is sincere on your part. If anyone could quell the anxiousness of childbirth and fear over your life being expendable for heirs, it would be the Princess. Baela looks up, something dark flashing behind her eyes. You had always scoffed at the notion of her being like her father. Baela is all warmth and good-natured wit that you assume she got from her mother, but you see him in the look she gives you.

As if she is one bad day away from burning a place to the ground.

“You feel unprepared for it all. That is not unusual.”

You comb through her curls with your fingers. “But on the bright side, you will be our future queen.”

The smile you put on fights to be earnest. The realm will sooner burn than having a clear bastard running it. Jacaerys taking the throne means Rhaenyra managed to get through her reign. Both things seem like far-fetched aspirations.

“Rhaena and I always joke that she has the temperament to be Queen, far more than me,” she laughs, then a mirthless look comes over her face. “We also talked about ruling Driftmark together… when we were young.”

She waves her hand as if to swipe away memories floating around her.

“Well, it technically could be your birthright,” you walk a tight line. “You are the first born twin of the eldest daughter of you grandparents. Of course you would imagine yourself as Lady of the Tides. Especially after your wardship with your grandmother.”

She finally turns to you as you pick up a damp towel to wipe the oil off your hands.

“It is not that I mind Lucerys, not at all but…”

Baela trials off.

“I understand. I am not naive to enough to think that if my lady mother and father were able to conceive another child, a boy, that I would be able to inherit whatever my father leaves for me,” you try to steer the conversation in the direction you want. “It is why when the time comes, I hope that Daella and Alaric are both able to take advantage of the fruits of my families’ labor.”

You brush a stray curl behind her ear. “You are allowed to be upset at father, Rhaenyra, the order of things, or at your situation. You are owed that at least.”

A part of you doesn’t know if you were saying that more for her…. or for you.

Aemond is going to choke his brother to death. It would leave his mother down a child, and his nephews and niece fatherless, but he thinks it would be a necessary evil.

The beginning of the day was spent placating his mother and trying not to strangle his siblings. First, Helaena let Jaehaerys get a hold of one his books on the First Men. He confronted her about the missing pages, and all he received in return was a shrug.

“That is not my problem, brother.”

He was sure he was in one of her moods. Helaena, who normally had the patience and will of several people put together, all but snapped at him. Looking back on it, he should have asked if it has to do with something she saw. She hated to be disturbed immediately after a dream.

The rest of the morning went just as bad. His mother had forced him to break his fast with your parents and her. It might have been nice if Aegon did not show up. Chipper, cheeks flushed, and a letter in hand. He does not say who it is from, but the smugness permeates from him. The whole meal is filled with Aegon making pointed comments, and Alicent trying to steer the conversation in a different direction.

There was a sense of relief when both him and Aegon were excused from the table. The older adults chatting about remedies for the cough your mother had mom down with.

“Do you want to go train,” Aegon began to follow him from the dining hall.

“No.”

All he wanted to do was lay down.

“You know, when we were younger, I always hoped you grow out of the moodiness,” Aegon fakes a wistful sigh. “But here you are, a man grown who pouts and sulks his days away.”

Aemond snorted, that was rich coming from Aegon. If it was something he had in common with not only his siblings but with his mother, it was the ability to wallow when they want to.

Alicent used to tell him that certain people were meant to have lingering, lifelong happiness while others had to cherish their fleeting moments. She always said it in the tone that implied that they were the people with fleeting moments.

He ignored Aegon despite his brother following him into his apartments. Helaena was sitting on the couch, large black book sitting in her lap.

“I came to replace the book,” she holds it out, blank look on her face. “It is from grandsire’s collection, but I do not think he will notice.”

She goes to leave, but Aegon stops her. “Please tell our darling brother that he would be so much more handsome if he smiled more.”

Helaena shrugs off the arm he placed around her shoulder. She looks at both at her brothers in mild annoyance.

“Do not mind him Hel, he is just excited his weekly dose of sympathy and attention flew in.”

Aegon’s round eyes narrow a bit. “And where is your letter, Aemond. Or must you get updates on your children from other people.”

“She told me she was not going to right,” the words burn on his tongue and lips. You did tell him it would be better to limit communication. That you would always check in on your and kids’ safety through other avenues. But he feels like an idiot explaining it to Aegon.

His brother has a special way of making him feel that way.

“You two-“

Helaena tries to interrupt their argument.

“I know you worry about what I would do to your wife if given the chance, but have you ever thought about what your wife wants to do to me?”

“Aegon-“

Helaena tries again, more forcefully this time, but it is too late. Aemond shoved his brother, and received an equally rough one in return. He does not remember how they ended up on the ground, but he does remember feeling Aegon’s teeth sink into his flesh.

Helaena stood there for a moment, wondering how this was her life. The sight before her made her feel like she was four and ten again, watching her brothers fight each other in the training yard. Like then, the only thing she could think of was finding Criston. The only saving Grace being the master apartments are near Aemond’s.

Criston sighed at the sight of them but pulled them apart in easy fashion. Years of practice under his belt. The look of exhaustion that he gave them was nothing compared to the berating tone of the lecture their mother gave them afterwards. Auburn curls bouncing as she paced around the room.

It was the typical spiel that Alicent gave her kids when she felt the arguments had gotten too personal. Reminding them that they are family; fights will happen, but there is always a line. They are brothers they will need to depend on each other more than they know. She made them apologize to each other. Aegon and Aemond mumbled out apologies to each other, then ones to Alicent.

Now Aemond laid in bed. A cloth filled with ice lays over his head. Your perfume still lingers on the sheets.

Little does Aegon know is that Aemond does laugh and smile a lot. In the privacy of his own space, he is endlessly amused at how his life has turned out. The irony of the situation is not lost on him. It sits dip in his stomach daily. His days are spent rotating the same thoughts and people in his head.

You, the kids… her.

There was a time that meeting Alys was considered a breath of fresh from the monotony that plagued his life. He knows you would never believe it now, and perhaps he cannot blame you, but it did not start off as affair. Or even looking for one. The map was something that sat in the back of his mind for years till one day he just needed to get out. The day he met Alys gets fuzzier and fuzzier as time goes on. As if someone asked him to draw someone he had not seen in years from memory.

He strangely started to understand Aegon’s attempts at getting out of the castle. Having something that was just for himself. But in the end, nothing is ever just for him. There were moments he should have noticed something was not right. He is smarter than that. Maybe it was the common sense that ironically kept him so dense.

If he admitted it was too good to be true, if he questioned it the way he questioned everything else, the happiness would be ephemeral. And as manufactured of the kind he was used to.

Alys asked about you. He always chalked it up to sheer curiosity. He was curious about the men she had been with, why would she not wonder about the woman he had children with.

“At first I thought it was the blonde woman I kept seeing,” she comes and stands behind the chair Aemond was sitting in. “Then the more I saw her, the more picked up on the resemblance.

A gentle hand works up his back, and dances across his neck.

“She is pretty.” The hand worked its way into Aemond’s hair. “But the other woman I saw… oh, she is much more my type.”

Alys tugs his head back gently. A languid smile traced across her face. A smile he has grown accustomed to. Alys saw and knew so much; there was a slight thrill of not knowing what she was thinking all the time. But the biggest rush came from her honesty with him. Though knowing she thought about his wife left his throat feeling tight.

She lets go of his hair to sit near the fire, green eyes trained on the flames.

“If I only I could see her more…”

He wanted to ask what Alys saw when you showed up in her fires. Aemond is so selfishly interested in his wife through the eyes of other, even now.

The three of you will forever be deeply intwined. The roots of a dead tree bonded together till the rot finally takes over.

As days begin to blur together while at Dragonstone, you notice how restless Daella has become. Her energy and ability to strike up interest anything and everything was nothing new, but something felt different.

She begged and pleaded to see a different part of the island. You use it as an excuse to get away from it all.

Daella chats away, while skipping down the steps. She enthusiastically points to dragons flying around the fortress. It something you had have to get used to. At least at King’s Landing, to see any dragons you would go to the dragon pit; a secure place. Here, they fly and move amongst themselves. They are the true inhabitants of the island, everyone else are the guests.

She rattles off fact Rhaenyra had told her about Syrax. A bright look in her eyes.

Your daughter is so painfully good natured, it makes you wonder what a cruel image of fate for her to be born into this family dynamic. You like to believe she will grow up to be the good parts of you and Aemond. Same with her brother; praying that your mistakes will not eventually be theirs.

Once you two clear a rocky path, you swing towards the back of the castle. It was a back passage that Jacaerys had shown you one day.

“I want to see the flowers, please.”

You laugh a bit. Septa Margery had been trying to instill in Daella that being a lady requires saying please and thank you. Now most of her orders are at least followed by one of the two.

“We can see the garden, but you need to promise me you will eat all of your f-“

A guttural roar breaks up the conversation, and you freeze. It sounds closer than comfort. The ugly and throaty nature of it reminds you of Vhagar. A cry to send fear through those who hear it.

A large breath of hot air hits your back. It takes a moment for you to finally turn around.

“Oh, fucking hells,” you breath out.

The dragon has to be almost as large as Vhagar. Bronze scales with large tan wings. Golden eyes lock in on you and your daughter. You feel the tiny hands tug on your dress, and a face burying itself behind your thigh. The dragon begins to stalk slowly towards you, like a cat cornering a mouse.

This is not how you want to die, at the behest of a dragon. It would be twisted fate for that to happen. Far from home, on an island you hate with people you try to tolerate. Your children need you but you need them alive more than anything. She does not budge. Instead, she peaks her head from behind you.

The dragon stops in its tracks for a moment, and stares. Yellow eyes zeroing in, gray teeth shows as it pulls its mouth back.

“Daella, I need you to go,” you reiterate once the dragon begins to walk again.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Caraxes’ distinct red scales circling around the scene in curiosity. You cannot make out his rider on top of him.

The bronze dragon in front of you comes closer, as you try to take small steps back. It extends his neck, and you close your eyes expectantly. This is it you think. Your demise. You say a small prayer for everyone. For Alaric to grow up well, and your parents to not mourn you too deeply. You pray that Helaena lives a happy life, and Aegon finds his purpose. That Alicent’s life gets a bit easier. You do not want Quinton to beat himself up over this. You even send a thought out that Aemond finds some peace in his life so can take care of his son. You especially pray the Mother forgives for putting your daughter in this situation.

A loud screech blares out from the dragon as you feel the wind of breath brushing fiercely against you. You squeeze your eyes shut harder, waiting for the inevitably to come but it never does. By the time you finally have the courage to open your eyes the dragon has flown away. Rush past the castle and towards the mount.

The tears that welled in your eyes fall as you watch in confusion. You know little about dragons and chose to keep it that way. But from small doses you do know, you had never heard of a dragon pausing when it could likely eat you if it wanted.

A sense of dread pools in your stomach as you look down at Daella who had come from behind your leg, and stares towards the Dragonmount.

— — —

The event earlier has been on your mind all day. To the point where your palms inched to write Aemond. If anyone would tell you want you should do, it is him. But you worry a letter addressed to him and sent to King’s Landing would not go through proper channels. You had managed to keep all your letters back there almost farcically lighthearted in fear someone was watching you the way you are watching this family.

An idea pops into your head as you search for parchment to write on. If you cannot write to King’s Landing, perhaps a letter somewhere else may work.

A soft knock breaks you away from your writing.

“Come in Quinton.”

He always checks in on you before you go to bed. When the door opens, it is not inky brown hair that catches your attention, but instead bright blonde.

Daemon is still in his dragon egg gathering gear. Stipes of red and black adorning him. Quinton’s words ring out in your ear. Where is he?

“I hope I am not disturbing you,” he smiles softly. You pull your changing gown around you and shake your head.

“I heard the most interesting story about something that happened earlier today,” your heart sinks as he sits on the bench in front of the bed. “It seems that one of the dragons that normally inhabitants the Dragonmount has gotten out.”

You know you have two choices. Lie or admit to what occurred.

“Oh Gods, well I hope nothing bad has happened.”

The mirth on his face only grows. “You are odd little bird aren’t you.”

He gets up and comes behind you at the desk. Your eyes instantly go back to floor. He sighs as if he was hoping this conversation would go better, that you would choose diffently.

“Vermithor will notnstop till Daella acknowledges him as her dragon. He has not been around people for quite some time.”

A lonely, unruly dragon could wreak havoc if not claimed properly.

“She is just a girl,” it sounds pitiful as soon as it rolls off your tongue. But it is the truth. She is a little girl, your little girl.

“She is a Targaryen,” Daemon rebutted, “Being a dragon rider is a part of her blood. Not many get this opportunity.”

Your mind strays to Rhaena, and how much she hopes for a dragon. How much she hopes it will manage to make Daemon into a better father.

“You do not have to give me the ‘it is privilege to have the blood of the dragon’ speech. This is not about my daughter embracing something. It is about another dragon being accounted for.”

Daemon chuckles at your boldness, softly then louder. The laughing goes on longer than is comfortable.

“I am sure you have noticed how fond our future queen is of you. It would be of your best interest, and the best interest of your children, to understand what advantages can come from that,” Daemon’s voice lowers. “Creating the best future for your children includes aligning them with those who can properly take care of them.”

There something left unsaid in the air. Daemon speaks in riddles and tones that makes everyone feel like they are not in the plan.

“Daella and little Aegon could be betrothed,” his words make your head snap up at him. “And in the future, mayhaps that will benefit her and you.”

You flitch when you feel his hand brush your hair from your shoulder. The urge to let out blood curdling scream creeps up your throat.

“I trust that in the end you will make the right decision. It would be such a shame if something… bad were to happen because of it.”

Daemon leaves without another word. You had never felt colder in your life. A wave a nausea rush over you.

That night when you try to sleep, it is not the faceless woman who haunts your nightmares. It is Daemon, covered in Rhaenyra and Aegon’s blood. Crooked smile on his face and Dark Sister in his hand.

Aemond wakes to commotion in his room. He feels fingers pitch his nose, leading him to gasp for air. He expects to see Aegon standing over him, instead the figure is taller, skinner. A deep frown on his young face.

“Daeron?”

He is wearing Hightower green riding armor, hair askew from what Aemond assumes is the wind. Aemond glanced outside the window and sees the sun just starting to come up.

“What did you do?”

The question makes him stare at Daeron for a fraction too long. He’s sprouted up like a weed the way Aemond did when he was that age, all limbs. With blonde curls he makes no effort to tame like Alicent. Aegon’s smile and Helaena’s nose. Aemond likes thinking of his younger brother as a sum of all their parts. All their best parts, not muddled by life.

He thinks about Daeron of all people being upset with him, and a bile works up his throat.

“Because you can imagine my confusion when I get a letter from my good sister saying she is at Dragonstone, without you, and that she is now worried because and I quote ‘her little girl might have claimed a fucking dragon’.”

Aemond’s trance seems to be broken at that.

“Daella what!”

Aemond reaches for what is it Daeron’s hand, but he moves his hand away.

“What did you do,” Daeron asks again, this time softer.

“We are having problems.”

It is the simplest way he can explain it. It is too early in the morning, and his mind is still on his daughter possibly claiming a dragon. There is a feeling of relief of one of the kids reaching that feat. He knows the situation is not the same thing, but he would never want either of them to feel the inadequacy he did growing up without one.

Daeron sighs and sits on the bed next to him. “Apparently she claimed Vermithor.”

Aemond brows shoot up in response.

“Even your kids can’t do anything small,” Daeron laughs, before growing quiet again. “You need to fix this. All of it. Whatever it maybe.”

Daeron also inherited the light spirit Aegon had as a boy. Anger and frustration are not things that bog down the youngest child. Aemond knows he is upset by the serious look on his face.

—— —

Alicent was woken up by guards alerting her of Daeron’s arrival. The joy of seeing her son was quickly replaced by confusion and worry. Daeron always wrote before he came to visit.

“I just missed my siblings, and you of course,” he said brightly, giving her a kiss on the cheek before scurrying off to see his brothers and sister.

She knows there is something more, there always is with her kids. But her mood had only improved even more since seeing him. She naively wanted to embrace her son, who she misses dearly, without having to fret over why he was there.

Alicent always felt like she had to fight to keep her head above water. Lately, she felt like she could breathe a bit easier. She tried not to lend it to the letters Rhaenyra had been sending her. It made her feel like a girl again, in the worst and best ways.

Rhaenyra would mention something baby Viserys had done, and it was easy to forget the years of bad blood. Other days, she would mention Viserys the elder or slip in Daemon’s name, and Alicent could not help but think - sometimes I have not fully forgiven you.

She cannot fully put aside the years she spent alone at court. A young mother without her father. She cannot fully put aside the blatant lies. Alicent knows Rhaenyra does not make these mistakes or steps over others for malicious reasons. At least she convinces herself of such. But Rhaenyra does expect others to go along with the lies, even at the expense of their own safety. Some days, Alicent is sure selfishness is the only thing Viserys decided to pass onto his daughter.

But then Alicent thinks of Rhaenyra’s smile, and one always manages to spread across her face.

Their relationship is not perfect, but then again it has never been. Even in the throes of innocence when they were girls. So, she takes the letters in stride and writes back with the enthusiasm she reads in Rhaenyra’s.

Alicent goes to make her rounds to see Viserys. Over the years, she had assumed it was her sole duty to take care of him herself. The reigns had been lessened over the past few weeks. She let the maesters tend to him more, as she tried to prioritize her time to other avenues she lost over her girlhood.

She had begun drawing again, reading literature that had nothing to do with the Seven Kingdoms or diplomacy. It was nice. Entirely too nice. She should have known the Gods would punish her because of it. When she walks into the King’s chambers pass the lint covered model.

“Viserys,” she calls out softly. He is flat on his back, eyes closed. He is always irritable after being woken up, but he needs to try and get something on his stomach.

“My King,” Alicent tries again, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Viserys had not smelled right for over a decade, but something felt different this time. Slowly, Alicent leans her head over his chest, trying to her the murmur of a weak heartbeat. Seconds of silence go by before Alicent snaps her head up in shock. She covers her mouth as a choke sob fights its way up her throat.

Their were times she dreamt of this day. Of being the one that finally ends this cycle, smothering him in his sleep, slipping some poison. Even something with gore like a knife to his good eye, as revenge for her Aemond. But now that it is here, all Alicent feels is cold all over.

Viserys is dead, and she is once again alone.

You do not remember when the sleep walking started. It feels silly blaming your sleep problems on Dragonstone. A building you have no connection to changing your mood. The trip you insisted you must take leaving you debilitated.

The first time you catch yourself in the hallway. The next time in the dining hall. Quinton had insisted on making his night shifts longer, but you refused, not wanting him to lose precious sleep because of your bad habits. Your lack of sleep had made you snappy, and even more paranoid. The nightmares do not help. All you see when you close your eyes is black hair, and green eyes. The faceless woman image started to become clearer.

Shocking chill is what makes you wake this time. A flush of panic watches over you when you look down to find the bottom of your night gown in the water of the beach. The sun in beginning to rise over the horizon. Drudging yourself through the water is paused when you notice a figure on the beach.

The figure is wearing a flowy grey dress. Black hair, red lips curled into a smile. You blink wondering if you were still in the nightmare.

When you open your eyes, you then notice the sharp blade in the woman’s hand. It is a familiar knife. Sparking silver handle with a big sapphire on the end.

Aemond blade… the knife you got him for your first wedding anniversary. It all dawns on you. Who the woman in the nightmares is. Alys.

Your vision blurs red. You are tired of being someone who bad things happen to. Perhaps it is time to make bad things happen.

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