#I love how it went from dean going like give me my personal space

[wigglebox]

Shh, they want to hold hands 😌

[pagannatural]

2.12 Night Shifter

-Although Dean is impersonating an FBI officer when the jewelry counter girl asks him what it’s like, his answer is a truthful description of his life: “it’s dangerous, and the secrets we gotta keep…but mostly it’s lonely.” This wouldn’t be anything wincest except that he looks guiltily over at Sam twice while getting her number. The theme of loneliness between them and the brothers’ yearning for closeness from each other has come up several times this season, most obviously from Sam needing Dean to open up to him. But Dean is feeling it too. Sam was hanging off of him drunk last episode and Dean walked away from him so it makes sense that he’s trying to get someone else in his bed, and clearly thinking about Sam while he does it.

-Sam lies to Ronald. In the past he’s been the one who wants to tell civs the truth, while Dean lies. Dean’s instincts appear to be right here, and Sam’s sour impression with Ronald becomes an obstacle moving forward in this episode. It serves to highlight that Sam is still just not as experienced at this. They’re both really good with people and have high interpersonal intelligence, just in different ways.

-Dean feels “naked” without weapons. He’s been living in fear since he was four so that makes sense but it’s so bleak.

-Dean takes control of the situation with Ronald and Sam looks scared for him, then miserable when he’s locked in the vault and separated from Dean.

One of the bank employees asks “who is that man?” and Sam says “he’s my brother” as if that answers her question even a little bit. She wistfully says he’s brave and Sam looks even more miserable. He’s so sick of women fawning over his brother.

-a second scene of this woman fawning over Dean at Sam! I could watch this all day. Sam becomes increasingly perturbed with each passing moment. Listening to someone wax on about the person you’re secretly and wretchedly in love with but can’t have is terrible but especially when it’s someone who doesn’t even know them. He looks like he’s holding back on an emotion. Sam could just be irritated by the way Dean is overshadowing him, but I would expect him to respond by rolling his eyes or looking irritated rather than conflicted and sad.

Sam looks up to Dean. He doesn’t admit it until later on in the series, but Dean is his hero. His hero and guardian and brother and the only one who can kill him.

-Sam bumps his shoulder against Dean’s on his way out of the bank vault. He didn’t need to do that, there was space. People like to accidentally touch their crushes. And right in front of the fawning woman, like a cat rubbing its cheeks against its human’s legs to mark him.

-Sam points out that Dean is wanted by the police and is visibly upset. I love that Sam is the one panicking about this. Dean is too but he’s trying to be brave and save face for Sam.

-oh this is where they walk up to each other like they’re going to kiss. They’re making eye contact as they get really close and Sam kind of half circles Dean, looking into his eyes. It has the same vibes as the scene from Silver Linings Playbook where the love interest is teaching the main character a dance and instructs him on how to walk to her like he’s in love with her. You can see Dean moving his lips telling Sam he knows who the shifter is, but no sound, making this moment feel even more private

-the way Hendrickson says “there’s a monster in the bank” and then it cuts to Sam gives me chills

-Hendrickson mentioning that Sam is “the bonnie to your Clyde” makes Dean smirk. Sam is his wife. “That part’s true”. They could’ve said the butch cassidy to your Sundance or something but they went with a romantic couple and had Dean smile like aw yeah, that’s us, like he’s still so happy to have his baby back with him on the road.

-“they’re dangerous, smart, and expertly trained” god they really ARE. This show really earns their reputation.

-Dean is mid-action bringing a knife down on what he thinks is the shifter when Sam says in a near-whisper “Dean waitwaitwait”and Dean pauses to look over his shoulder. He’ll do anything Sam says. Sam’s gentle protest is more important than killing the shifter.

-Sam fights the swat team duo and wins. They escape and drive away knowing that they’re fucked and being hunted by the FBI. Their ascension from petty criminals to most wanted outlaws is so good because they are dangerous and fucked up and doomed and yet they’re together. I also love that Sam solved Dean’s problem by getting the uniforms and gear off of the two SWAT guys. He’s protective of Dean.

[henrywintersdearestgirl]

I wrote this for my dearest friend @arinewneanias03

I hope you’ll like this piece, Bunny🐇 ily

After class

Reader’s point of view:

“And that is all I have planned for today!” Julian said and all of us slumped back into our seats, today was a long day. The others were even more keen to leave, it was a friday night, so the twins were rushing to the grocery store along with Francis, who just enjoyed cooking, before I blinked they were already out the door. Bunny and Richard already left, god knows where. I reached forward to finish my tea, and I stood up to get my coat on like everyone, but Julian had stopped me.

“Y/N, I wanted to talk to you about your latin translation.” This made me sit up straight, I kind of was expecting this given the fact that I did it last minute. “It wasn’t bad, but you missed the point on why Caesar had returned to the kingdom. So.. Henry!”

Henry, who was helping Julian by collecting the mismatched teacups, peeked out of the backroom. “Yes?”

“Could you, please, put on boiling water for two?” Julian sat down at his desk and motioned me to sit in the armchair in front of it.

“Of course, but… didn’t you mention that you have a meeting with the Dean today?” Henry said, leaning against the doorframe, he did say it when we started the lecture a few hours ago. I let my eyes linger on Henry, he always looked so good, especially with his crisp black trousers and white shirts, I wished I could tear them off of him. It always lit a flame in me when his shirts accidentally pulled a bit up, exposing his toned abs and sharp v-line, while he stretched his limbs out during our lessons.

Julian checked his watch and his small eyes widened a bit. “Oh dear, you’re right, I didn’t even notice how time went by so fast. Umm… The question is, what do I do with you, lovely Y/N?” He was already reaching for his coat.

Henry stepped forward and said, almost eagerly. “I could explain the text to the lovely Y/N.” He smirked when he caught me blushing.

“That is a good idea, thank you.” He put the keys down on the desk and he shot Henry a specific look that I didn’t understand, before stepping out the door. “Stay as long as you need, you’ll give me the keys tomorrow, I have a spare one at home.” He turned to me” You’re in good hands, Y/N. Be good, children!” With that, he left. We heard his footsteps until he completely left the lyceum.

Henry snapped me out of my thoughts. “Tea?”

I was nervous to be in the same room alone with him, but I had to get myself together. “Yeah, thank you.”

“Mint, a lot of honey and a little lemon?” I heard the kettle whistle, I was surprised that he knew exactly how I drank my tea.

“Exactly.” I smiled at him and he smiled back at me, more like smirked at me.

He made us tea and we moved over to the big couch, we sat with our knees touching. I could feel his manly and musky scent and warmth consuming my body. He took my translation and his from the table and analysed them for a few minutes. “Hm, the translation is almost perfect, it just seems that you used the wrong person for the accusativus, which changes the whole meaning.” He put the papers down and looked deeply into my eyes, I felt a blush creep up my cheeks again and a smile creep up my lips.

“To tell the truth, Henry, the reason that I messed it up is because I was rushing with it and I wasn’t really paying close attention to the text” I rambled.

“Tsk tsk, well that is not really nice, well… I see, but I am not letting you leave.” I was relieved and not at the same time. The past week was a long one and all I wanted was a long Friday nap, but I was about to spend quite some time with Henry Winter in a somewhat cozy office space.

“You know what lovely girls who don’t pay attention deserve?” He leaned closer and he started toying with the ends of my hair, I hoped my thighs pressing together wasn’t too noticeable.

“No?” My breath was stuck in my throat.

“We’ll go over Caesar’s story.” He whispered, almost seductively. “Be a doll and get it from the big shelf.” He commanded. With a quiet groan, which made him chuckle, I got up and went over to the massive bookcase. I looked on every shelf, but for the life of me I couldn’t find it. “Try looking on the top shelf!” He said from his position on the couch. So, I did, I couldn’t find the ladder that was usually there for the ceiling high bookshelf, so I stretched my torso as much as I could. I felt that my dress was riding up my thighs way too much, just below my butt or maybe even higher. Suddenly, I felt a pair of strong hands lifting me up by my waist to the highest shelf, and he did it so effortlessly, as if I was light as a feather. “It’s the dark blue book.” I saw it and I reached for it. I took it and I felt him turn me around in his arms, now we were face to face. I was still up a bit higher, my hair was all around our faces, but his big hands felt pleasant on my waist. Our faces were inches apart, his scent was stronger now. Out of instinct, I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he welcomed me in as if we had done this a thousand times. I was now completely in his warmth, I was so close that my breasts were pushed against his neck, and it made me blush that he was probably feeling them. One of his hands was supporting me on my lower back, and the other one reached up to caress my face. I looked closer at his face, his clean shaven jaw, his raven dark hair, his lips, the scar he had and those icy blue eyes of his. I have never seen a pair of eyes so beautiful, the scar made him ever more beautiful. I saw his eyes roaming around my face, he never saw me this up close, whatever he was looking at he felt the need to stroke with his finger. At first, he brushed my hair off my forehead. Then, he ran his hands along my cheeks, the curve of my nose, under my eyes and my lips. “What divine beauty you possess…” My breathing got heavy, which meant that my chest was repeatedly rubbing up against him. He looked down between us, and took in the sight of my cleavage with a barely audible groan, it was prominent given the fact that I was a bit leant forward in front of him. His eyes wandered from my breasts to my neck, until he looked me in the eyes again. “And this sweet scent of yours… It drives me crazy.” He took a step forward and pushed me up against the bookshelf, as he did, his hips pushed in between my spread legs, right into my centre. I felt a bit of shame at the low moan that escaped from the back of my throat, but quickly washed away when my brain registered that he also grunted at the contact.

The tension was electric. Suddenly, he took the book out of my hands and he dropped it on the floor. His hand went on the back of my neck and pulled my head close to his. “Fuck Caesar.” And he claimed my lips eagerly, I, of course, returned the kiss just as eagerly. He pushed me more and more into the bookshelf, I could feel his erection through my underwear. He pulled me closer, while still kissing me deeply, and went over to Julian’s desk. His big hands pulled my knees apart so he could nestle himself between them, my dress rid up to my waist. I was breathing heavily and on complete display for his hungry eyes.

“You’re a very sweet girl, aren’t you?” He kissed down my neck and jaw, occasionally biting and leaving marks on my untouched skin. He made his way down to my collarbone and my chest, my breath quivered from his teeth. “You’re so responsive to my touch, and just to me in general.” He pulled my arms out of my dress and slowly pushed it down to my waist, I mentally patted myself on the back for choosing a cute bra for the day. He looked like a starved man at the sight of my barely covered chest. “Beautiful, what pretty lingerie, but I want to see you without it. Show yourself to me, sweet girl, and I will do the same” His fingers motioned me to arch my back, so he could unclasp my bra. I got shy and embarrassed when my breasts were no longer covered by my lace, even if I wanted to be seen by him and taken by him, I quickly shot my arms up so I could cover them, but Henry was having none of it. His lusty gaze shifted to a softer one in a mere second, he caressed my arms that were covering my torso, his touch made me shiver. “Lovely lovely Y/N, you are the prettiest creature I ever saw, I knew this the very first time I had the pleasure of seeing you. And you do not owe me anything, if you don’t feel ready for me, I understand. But, I want to show you what a goddess you are, for I will be your devotee.” I slowly put my arms on my sides, my breasts were bare for his eyes. What he said made me feel comfortable, and so fucking in need for him. I needed him, and I needed him in that second. He had the time of his life kneading and sucking my boobs, but I grabbed his hair and pulled him up.

“Baise moi.”

His eyes had a sort of devilish look in them, and he chuckled darkly while unbuttoning his trousers. “Fuck you? Dirty girl…” He pulled his manhood out and my eyes widened, he was so thick and long. Veiny and dripping for me, he was fully hard, he was already hard when he was pushing me up against the bookcase. “And I wanted to take my time with you.” His hands wandered to my underwear and he slowly pulled it down, but he noticed how it clung to my skin due to my wetness.

“So wet already?” He had mockery in his tone.

“So hard already?” I shot back.

“Touché.” He yanked my underwear down. He pushed my knees up and spread my legs. His tip was begging to be inside me, the throbbing of it proved it. Henry took his pointer and middle finger to circle at my sensitive clit. “I should have known you were going to be this naughty… Walking around here, acting so sweet. But, I could see you. These short skirts and dresses, that only rid up your thighs and revealed your barely covering panties, when I was looking. Coincidence, dear?”

He slowly slipped into me and we both gasped, when he felt me get used to his size he started pounding into me relentlessly. We both had a lot of pent up sexual tension towards each other. “Oh, Henry! Please!”

He slowed down out of teasing. “Please what? Please fuck me harder? Deeper?”

“Deeper!” I moaned out loudly. I thought that he was going to spread my legs wider, so it was a surprise when he leaned down closer to me and threw one of my legs over his shoulder, my other one he wrapped around his waist. When I felt him hit that sweet spot inside of me, I was a mess, I felt even more wetness gather around him.

“Well, well…” he said in a low voice, his constant moving taking on a strain on his voice, but he still toon the effort to talk dirty to me, knowing that it turned me on. “No one ever hit that spot inside you, huh?” I nodded with closed eyes and a thrown back head. My throat was completely exposed for him, and he took advantage of it and kissed my skin, my eyes rolled into the back of my head. “Oh my, you are making a mess on me, lovely Y/N, what a gorgeous sight. Will you let me make a mess in you?”

Even if I was on the pill, I never let a man ejaculate inside me, but with Henry? Gladly. “Yes, please! I want to feel it!”

His thrust slowed down, only so he could stab more deeply into my cervix. He brought his head, so now we were eye to eye. “Ever had a man come inside you?” His eyes were soft. I shyly shook my head, as shyly as I could while getting fucked on a desk. He stroked my hair. “You will like it, most women tend to enjoy the feeling of getting filled. Don’t you worry, my sweet, I will make sure to really fill this sweet pussy.”

He reached down between us and rubbed my clit, which dropped me over the edge in seconds. When my walls clamped down on him, he let out a guttural moan and I felt the hot sensation of his seed painting me from the inside. Feeling so close to him, I reached up and pulled him down into an embrace, he wrapped his strong arms around me and we just stayed like that until we could breathe properly.

“If that what I get for fucking my translation up, maybe I need to do it more.” I chuckled.

His hand suddenly wrapped around my throat, yeah, that shut me up quite quickly. “The sweet Y/N wants to get punished, oh… You have seen nothing yet.”

He pulled out and kneeled before me. He watched as his own seed dripped out of my entrance like it hypnotised him, when it nearly dripped down he gathered it on his fingers and pushed it back. My legs twitched at the sudden contact on my sensitive parts. He looked up at me with a sly and smug grin, slowly he dived down. “Henry-what are yo-“ he pushed my now correct translation into my hands and wrapped his arms around my thighs to keep me in place, while giving my clit a little kiss.

“You are going to read it out for me. If I hear a tiny mistake, mispronunciation or even a moan, you are starting from the beginning.”

[bisaster-energy]

I have to know what nut allergy means 🤲🏻

god i had forgotten about this one til u tagged me💀i got the idea cos of some tiktok someone made about putting ghost pepper in their food to catch whichever coworker was stealing their food and ppl in the notes were freaking out cos "wHAt iF sOMeOnE iS ALlErGiC" me and my friend luke were like "god how funny would it be if you just went in someone's fridge drank all their milk and shit yourself cos ur lactose intolerant and then blame them for trying to poison u that logic is so crazy...what if it was a destiel au"

it's really just a silly hospital au i never got around to finishing it's cringy and basic but it's funny to me so i kept it

so cas is a doctor ofc i have to reward dean somehow.

he's neurosurgeon because i did watch grey's anatomy and dr. sexy being a parody of derek shepherd who's played by patrick dempsey who also played a guy named cass who was in a polyamory with jensen ackle's character and marilyn monroe. i had to put it in

i couldnt decide if i wanted dean to be a doctor too or a nurse but i know i wanted him in peds

basically it's one sided enemies to lovers with dean having beef with cas for no reason (he's hot and this frustrates dean to no end). meanwhile cas has a crush bigger than texas on that man

maybe a competitive aspect too like derek and burke had but less animosity. i try to lean into the soap opera aspect of it as if they're in a medical drama more than a REAL HOSPITAL because it's easier than doing extensive research <3

so maybe dean is a bit more of an asshole to cas than strictly necessary and no one else gets why. cas essentially gives up on trying to have a normal conversation w/dean and thinks he really hates him so he settles to only talk to him in a professional capacity so he wont encroach on his space more than he has to

dean takes this personally. i love misunderstandings

etc etc it comes to a head when maybe something happens that really sets dean off about cas (i haven't figured what yet) and so to get back at him he nabs a cookie from his lunch (cas already established that anyone can indulge in them but dean missed the memo ig)

anyways ruh roh! his dumbass is allergic to one of the ingredients cos it came into contact with walnuts or smth idk

dean's embarrassed as hell and cas finds him all swollen and fucked up and i haven't gotten past this part but yeah i just wanted cas to stab dean with an epi-pen really

overall very mid and silly and dumb but here's an excerpt anyway:

The neurosurgeon is, in Dean's humble (but also right) opinion, the only one worthy of the term Asshole around here, with a capital A.

Well, not the only one. But still.

And it's not like Dean didn't try to get to know him! New doctor shows up, windswept hair tousled to perfection, lab coat flaring behind him like some sort of superhero, gaze focused and intense, and eyes so so blue-

Ahem. Of course Dean is going to be intrigued he's a human being! It's not like Castiel was interested anyway. Barely said three words to Dean before rushing off somewhere else, probably to bless some other coworker with his angelic ass sculpted by god. Dean tried a few times after that and still ended up with nothing more than stilted small talk. Dude made talking to a brick wall seem like a cake walk. There was always something going on that had to cut their conversations short, and Dean thought Cas was just a shy guy at first, nothing wrong with that. But he's seen Dr. Novak easily chat with other staff for longer than two (painfully awkward) minutes. Especially Masters. God that snake just loves to hang off Novak, like that's her job instead of being a damn nurse. Even Balthazar, their own personal sleazeball of an anesthesiologist, allegedly manages to drag the uptight doctor out from time to time.

Not that Dean has been stalking them or anything. He just heard it through the grapevine like every other godforsaken rumor at this high school of a hospital. And if the grapevine happened to just be Balthazar himself bragging about their nights out in the breakroom, well that's Dean's business.

"I still say you need to give him a chance, Dean," his mammoth of a brother insisted, brushing his mane out of his face. Seriously, dude, just get a haircut. "I don't get what your problem with him is. Castiel is great! A little awkward maybe, but it really adds to his charm." Dean rolls his eyes.

"Sammy, you do realize you sound like you're trying to get me to adopt a dog that's about to be sent to the pound? It didn't work when you were eight and it won't work now. And, for your information, I've given Cas plenty of chances to talk to me. He's the one with the issue. You should be selling him all this kumbaya bullshit. And don't you have some lawsuits to prevent?"

It's Sam's turn to roll his eyes. "Whatever, Dean. If you gave up on talking to him then why the hell do you call him by a nickname?" With another flip of his mop, his brother left Dean spluttering for a reasonable answer. Which there is, of course. But Sam's long gone by the time he manages a weak "Castiel is a mouthful, okay?" "I'll say," came an annoyingly sultry voice from behind. Without turning Dean lets out a sigh. "Can I help you, Masters?" He asks flatly, already resigning himself to an unpleasant encounter. "Oh, don't be like that, Dean," God, he can practically hear the obnoxious pout he knows she's wearing right now. "I thought we could bond over what a mouthful Clarence is!" That has him spinning around.

meg is cas' bestie she can't understand why he's hung up on dean but she supports his terrible terrible taste. and if she can manage to convince dean they're fucking in the meantime well. god forbid women do anything

the reason sam seems so invested is cos the hospital has a betting pool over if these 2 get together and when. bros tryna make bank

[winchester-girl67]

Diary Of A Hunter

Summary: During your down time from hunting, you like to write Teen Wolf fan-fiction, but what happens when your brothers stumble onto your notebook. Meanwhile, Dean gets jealous when he discovers that Sam is teaching you to drive and tries to buy your love back after teasing you relentlessly about what he thinks is your diary.

Requested by @cokcola4112: "Supernatural imagine being Dean and Sam sister and Sam finding your teen wolf notebook fanfiction and teasing about crush on Derek or Theo."

Pairing: Dean x Sister!reader (platonic)

Square: Free space @spnfluffbingo​

Word Count: 2,195

Warning: language, invasion of privacy, a little angst, mostly fluff, protective!Dean, reader writes Teen Wolf fan-fiction, learning to drive in Baby

A/N: I spent way too long trying to think of a title. Also written for @spnfluffbingo​. Enjoy!

_____

"Give it back! Give it back, Dean, or I swear I'll-" You shouted up at your big brother who held your notebook above his head and out of reach.

You jumped at it again, growling when you didn't even come close to snatching it back. Sam ignoring the both of you as he flipped through a manuscript, sitting on the couch in the motel room.

"You'll what, squirt?" Dean smirked, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly.

"I'll take Baby out for a joyride." You threatened, glaring up at him.

It was more of a threat than it sounded like since you didn't exactly know how to drive yet, but you were learning. It was hard to squeeze in practice time between hunts and Dean monopolised driving from town to town, so that was out of the question. Besides, you didn't think he'd ever let you drive his precious Impala had you asked, but Sam did.

"You and what licence?" He chuckled, thinking it was an empty threat.

"Sam's been teaching me," you said matter-of-factly with your hands on your hips, watching the colour drain from his face.

"What?! When?"

"Yesterday, when we went on that snack run and we got you your stupid apple pie. Cake is so much better, by the way." You licked your lips just thinking about it. Who chooses glazed fruit over thick, creamy frosting.

"You only think that 'cause you're a sugar freak."

"Sugar's good for you." You claimed with a grin, obviously just trying to irritate him.

"It's really not." Sam added, jumping into the conversation from his seat on the couch and glancing up from the musty manuscript in his hands.

He was studying up for whatever the creature was this time that you were hunting; you usually just waited for him to tell you what it was and how to kill it. It was easier than doing the research yourself and he actually enjoyed it, even going as far as to comment that he liked that musty smell.

"Whatever. Just give me back my notebook." You demanded, holding out your hand to Dean. You were actually surprised his arm hadn't gotten tired yet.

"On one condition," he compromised, "who is this Derek?"

Not only had your brother found your personal notebook, but he read it too. You were kind of thankful that he thought it was a diary of some sort and didn't realise it was actually Teen Wolf fan-fiction, at least not yet.

"None of your business, jerk." You snapped and he lowered his arm, his expression turning from playful to stern.

"You're too young for a boyfriend, Y/N." Dean stated simply as if he had final say, his voice dropping an octave.

"Says the master manipulator with a different woman hanging off his arm every night, I am more than old enough. Now, hand it over." You ordered one last time, wiggling your fingers with your palm still out in front of you.

"Well, if these are the things you're thinking of doing with him, I wanna talk to this guy first. Where does he live?" Dean insisted and your face flushed furiously. You didn't really write anything super explicit, but there was a lot of kissing and cuddling and random shit like that. It felt like an invasion of privacy, even if the stories weren't true. "And since when did you ever go jet-skiing? You've never even been to the ocean."

Dean was referring to a more intentionally ridiculous fic you had written for a challenge. You bit your cheek and averted your hard gaze to the shag carpeting beneath your feet. You knew your brother wouldn't give it back without an answer.

"Beacon Hills. And how would you know what I have and haven't done?"

Dean's stare turned fiery at the innuendo and you started to regret your sarcastic answer. You were born into the life of a hunter and you never had a boyfriend with all of your moving around. That honestly didn't bother you though, you were just tired of being treated like a baby. And Dean was so protective of you that it was the easiest way to get under his skin.

"Don't get smart with me, squirt, I know that's that town from that wolf show you watch." Dean said, furrowing his brow at you, the name of the show alluding him.

"As you should, you only watched the first three seasons with me."

"Wait, Derek Hale?" He said, recognition crossing his face and a smug smile tugged at his lips. "As in the hairy, muscular dude from the show? Don't tell me you gotta crush-"

"Shut up." You grunted, snatching your notebook from his hand. Your face feeling incredibly hot and unshed tears building at your embarrassment, "and he's hairy because he's a werewolf!" You shouted, running into the bathroom and locking the door.

It was times like this that you wished you had your own room. Sadly, privacy wasn't a term in the Winchester's vocabulary. You could hardly hide anything from each other without going to extreme lengths, which you thought you had done by hiding the notebook in your bag behind your feminine hygiene products.

"You don't have to be an ass a hundred percent of the time, you know that right?" Sam commented to Dean after you left the room.

"I was just teasing her. I'm her big brother, I'm entitled to a little good natured ribbing. Besides, you guys don't exactly take it easy on me. Ever." Dean stated, though he honestly felt a little bad for laying it on so thick.

"You're older, be wiser." Sam instructed, setting his manuscript down on the sad excuse for a side table. "So she writes a little fan-fiction, big deal. You know some of the greatest literature in history is really just fan-fiction of other works." He explained with a shrug.

"Yeah, yeah, nerd." Dean rolled his eyes. "Only you would have room in your brain for something as dull as that. Know it all.” He muttered under his breath.

“What?”

“What?” Dean repeated with a half grin and Sam brushed it off.

“All I’m saying is that we got a tough life, man, hunting isn't easy and it's different for Y/N. She's a lonely teenager-"

"She's not lonely, she has us." He stated dryly with a steely look, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"That's not what I meant, Dean. She can't just go to a bar and pick up some guy, I mean technically she could, but she wouldn't. And I don't blame her, any guy picking up chicks like that probably doesn't give a shit about them."

"Speak for yourself," Dean interrupted with a smirk. "I've never had any complaints."

"Your one in a million, dude... That wasn't a compliment." Sam shook his head and Dean deflated.

"Whatever," he growled, his face falling into a frown as he sulked against the wall.

"I'm just saying if writing sappy stories about Teen Wolf makes her feel better. Let her have that." Sam shrugged, being the more objective one of the two of them even after having read a couple of your stories himself.

"You're right, I guess." Dean mumbled, making his way over to the bathroom and tapping on the door.

"I'm always right." Sam smirked, his big brother glaring back at him.

"Any suggestions?" Dean questioned when you refused to come out. Sighing into his palm when he heard you blowing your nose and sniffling through the door.

"You heard her, she likes cake." His little brother shrugged and Dean instantly grabbed his keys. "Get me some kale chips too." Sam shouted after him as he slammed the door, grumbling.

Sam had coaxed you out of the bathroom by time Dean returned with a bag of goodies in one hand and a small stuffed wolf in the other. He took a seat next to you on the bed and placed the plushie in your lap as a peace offering.

"I know stuffed animals are a bit kiddish, but I couldn't resist and it's fuzzy. You still like fuzzy, right?" He asked sheepishly and you nodded slowly feeling the softness of the toy's material between your fingertips. "Hey, I'm sorry, kiddo. If it's worth anything, I thought your stories were pretty good."

"Really?" You asked dubiously.

"Uh-huh, I bet you could even share them online, if you wanted." Dean smiled, nudging you in the arm with his elbow.

"I do. I just like to hand write them first, gets the juices flowing." You explained, risking a glance up at him, but he wasn't judging you like you thought he might've been.

"So, we're good?" Your big brother asked, smirking and pulling out a piece of cake from the bag next to him as if it was a bribe.

He handed it over to you, watching your face lighten and your lips pull upwards. Then, he patted your head and messed up your hair, throwing a bag of kale chips at Sam on the couch. It always did brighten Dean's day when he got the chance to make his younger siblings happy. He also loved teasing them too, but only to a certain extent.

"You brought me cake, so yeah." You hummed, opening the cardboard container and digging into the slice with a plastic fork.

"Good." Dean nodded, biting his lip. "Hey, Y/N/N, about this driving thing-"

"Don't worry, I'll ask Uncle Bobby for a junker to practice with next time we're in town." You promised, knowing Dean probably loved his car more than either one of you, and even if that was true you kind of understood it; she was a beauty.

It was the one thing your father had ever given to any of you and Dean took pride in knowing that he was entrusted with that. Though, he was also responsible for you and Sam and he, in his heart, knew that he would drive that car off of a cliff before he let harm come to either one of you.

"No, I mean- that's not what I meant." Your brother huffed, side glancing at you sheepishly. "Why didn't you come to me? To teach you, I mean."

"Sammy's...-"

"Nicer?"

"More patient," you explained.

"If I promise not to be a dick, could I take you driving tomorrow? In Baby of course, because my little sis and I ride in style." He smirked and nudged you again.

"Really?" You beamed, setting aside the rest of your cake because you were so excited.

"Mhm," he hummed with a small laugh.

"I'd like that, De. Can we stop at that fry stand in town and get some poutine?" You asked, bouncing on the bed next to him.

"Fine, but you're cleaning up Baby if you spill again." He conceded and you flung your arms around him, squeezing him in a tight hug.

Dean chuckling and patting your back until you pulled away. You were almost always the one initiating any sort of platonic physical display of affection towards your brothers, but they never seemed to mind.

"Deal."

"I got you one other thing," your eldest brother declared, digging into the bag beside him and pulling out a brand new notebook. This one with a lock and key which was more for show since you knew they could easily pick it if they wanted. "Do you like it?"

"Mhm, thanks, De." You beamed, appreciating the gesture and running your fingers over the embossed full moon on the cover.

"Y/N/N. One last question, who's your favourite big brother?" Dean grinned wildly as if he knew what your answer would be.

"I don't have a favourite," you said, glancing at Sam who had suddenly taken an interest in the conversation.

"Sure you don't," Dean raised his eyebrows, following your line of sight to his little brother.

"I don't. I love both of you equally."

"Uh-huh, I get it, trying to save Sam's feelings, hm?" He pushed, nudging you again and tickling your sides when you refused to answer.

"Dean," you whined and giggled, rolling away from him and dropping the notebook. Practically doing a summersault that wound up with you landing on the floor, laughing hysterically.

"Okay, okay! You! You're my favourite!" You exclaimed and Dean retreated, sitting on the edge of the mattress and gloating at Sam.

You pushed yourself up and grabbed the rest of your cake, crawling onto the other bed and away from Dean, who had sprawled out on his back chuckling to himself. He was playing with the stuffed wolf, still grinning to himself and his self-declared victory over his little brother. You looked over at Sam, his big puppy dog eyes staring back at you.

'I'm actually your favourite, right?' Sam mouthed to you and pointed to himself behind Dean's back, so to speak.

'Absolutely.' You mouthed back and nodded, Dean catching the movement in the corner of his eye.

"Hey, what are you two up to?" He asked, propping himself up on his elbows and glancing between his siblings.

"Nothing," you shrugged and smirked at Sam.

"Nothing." Sam agreed with a chuckle.

"Sure," Dean stated suspiciously, glaring at his little brother.

_________________________ 
 Dean/Jensen: @akshi8278​ @laycblack​ @thoughts-and-funnies​

[eating-flowerz]

So last night D and I had a talk since he told me he was regretting our move. He wanted space but I just couldn’t and we had a phone call. I thought at most it would be 10 minutes but it ended up lasting 2+ hours and ended ok.

I never realized how much he really didn’t want me to move to Poland. I love him I comforted him assuring him that I wasn’t leaving anytime soon nor do I have an confirmation. He told me about his abusive ex who ended up being a girl I went to high school with and I did not get along with. He told me how she affected him and how because of her he has all this constraints on our relationship. I’m just so refreshed he opened up to me about this, because it feels like our relationship is just getting stronger

We agreed he can’t just ice me out and not just tell me what’s wrong or on his mind. With that I’m still battling my addiction to stimulants and it freaks him out. He feels so much pain when I told him I relapsed and how he just wants me to get better, it’s more difficult than that because I need this drug to keep me running I feel. I adore D so I’m trying to not rely on it, but going on to an even scarier point I feel like I need it for.

He wants me to meet his friends, or more so it’s important to him due to his past relationship that his friends check me out and make sure they approve of me which just scares me. His friends are all white guys that are going to say something racist/insensitive when they get a chance. I was so happy for the longest time that he didn’t want me to meet his friends, but now I know it’s because he’s afraid of me being another J, his ex, who caused his friends to have an intervention for him, just due to how terrible she was. I know I’m not terrible like her, I’m not abusive or weird, but I just don’t know how to behave in their element. How does someone like me interact with a bunch of former high school white boy jocks. I’m weird, it’s out of my element. Dean likes my weirdness and my quirkiness but I know that’s an outlier, I don’t want to be seen as a spazz like J. D himself confirmed that his friends are probably going to say something racially edgy and it’s just not fair. I already know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but J didn’t have who she was born as working against her. I think what kills me about this, is that as much as I don’t want to meet his friends he hasn’t even told them that we’re boyfriend and girlfriend because of his trauma but I can’t help but take it personally even though I know he loves me.

I found myself also having to ask him do his parents know I’m black and white. He said no. I asked would they have an issue with that or us dating. He said his dad wouldn’t, his mom would be polite. Everyone gives me politeness, I thought I could handle it last night but I don’t want to. I just want to be treated fairly going into this. I know his friends are more important than his parents but still. Tbf his mom, an anti-environmentalist, conservative wouldn’t even like my mom, a leader for sustainability in her company, immigrant hippie who drives a Tesla and hates pick up trucks.

I adore D but I just want to cry, how is any of this fair, this isn’t even entirely him, no matter what guy I date being mixed race his family or friends always have to have some bias I need to be aware of and fend myself from. It feels like a joke from life itself, how is any of this fair. All I want is to be proven wrong and I hate being right.

I love D, I don’t know where our relationship is going outside of our towns, but I adore him and I want to make this work. He’s a total sweetheart he loves me and I love him and he’s trying to make our relationship work and in all honesty I think he may love me more than I love him. That’s terrible to say but I only found out throughout our whole relationship there have been multiple points where he’s been thinking of breaking it off from me because of the Poland situation but he could never bring himself to do so. The night he asked me to be his girlfriend he told me his biggest hangup was how he didn’t want me to leave. Doesn’t matter how far off it is he doesn’t want to part from me. I think that’s when I realized for the first time ever that D thinks of a future with me. It sort of shocked me I’d never once really thought he was that serious about me because he never brought up to me how much it scared him. We kept talking and I told him for me to even think about my future seriously I need us to be dating which he agreed was fair, and then I told him if I date seriously it’s for marriage. I’m a way I was asking him does he think that seriously of me that he has that same end goal as me? He said in turn that “he doesn’t want me to not be in his future”, I love him and that satisfies me especially for a 3 month long relationship we have so far.

A lot of text I know, but this literally only for me so what do I care. I guess as of last night he feels a lot more secure in our relationship which makes me quite happy, I guess I just have all these fears of his friends and family and our future of course, but I’ve got time. I love this guy and I’ll figure out because no relationship is easy and if it, it’ll crumble when it reaches its first wall. I love D, he’s amazing and all he endeared from J I’m just happy he can find love for me afterwards.

[destielhasmedead]

Transcript of Richard talking about the confession in his panel at the Darklight Con

The person asking the question: “um so I had a question, specifically about um season 15 episode 18. So, um it’s been mentioned before that um, you had worked on the confession scene for a few weeks before it was filmed. And, I was just wondering if maybe you could talk a little bit about, maybe how things changed with that scene? Um-”

Richard: “are you talking about 15x18?”

Person: “yeah.”

Richard: “And uh specifically, you want to talk about the scene between uh Misha and Jensen?

Person: “yeah, I was also wondering if maybe you could talk about if it, um changed over time as you worked on it with them before filming or?”

Richard: “Yeah, so it was obviously a big deal scene for Misha’s character, and for the, you know ultimate moment of his relationship with Dean. So, it was discussed a lot b-between myself and Misha. Uh between Misha and Bob Beren, which I had nothing to do with those conversations but I know they took place. Between me and Bob Berens, who wrote the episode, and between the group. I talked to Jensen separately and then we all talked together. Um, the biggest… uh a lot came out of those conversations and- and sometimes it’s hard to remember the nuances of what we discovered. But, one of the things we worked on.. It was very collaborative. That whole sequence. And…. when I say “collaborative”, I knew that Misha had a lot that he wanted to say as an actor. Bob had a lot he wanted to say as a writer. And, I was doing my best to give as much room to tell their stories as possible. Um, so, you know in the blocking in it, and and and the way we staged it was very much about trying to give Misha enough space to approach Dean. And, a lot of distance that they could cover as they came together to have those moments. I *sighs* I think the biggest thing that came out of those conversations... was, we literally arrived in that room, and we moved that location from one room to another room. Because of, issues with another episode. We realized

“oh my gosh, we can’t shoot it in this room. because in a previous episode, this door gets torn apart. So, we can’t shoot in here cuz this door will be gone theoretically. Um, okay, well, let’s move rooms.”.

So, we moved rooms and we’re thinking

“great no problem!”.

And, then when we were prepping the room to shoot that day, we realized, there’s no… there’s no sigils in this room that would keep Death out. The other room had sigils already burned into it, so it would’ve been an automatic barrier. Here we were, in this room going

“ uhhh. Ok there’s no sigils.”. And, the idea was,

“Well, Misha can you just-” which we do in the show a lot

“can you just cut your hand and, do a blood sigil?”. And he’s like

“Yes, that makes total sense.”. And then the conversation between Jensen, and uh, Misha and myself became

“ok what do we use what do we use what do we use? Do we take a bottle and have you smash a bottle and then cut your hand with that? What do we use?”. And, Jensen said,

“Well, Dean always carries a blade, why when I’m sort of, not silly by, Deaths grip, why don’t we have Cas come take the blade out of my pocket and he can use it and we go from there?”.

“Great, done, we’ll do that.”.

*video buffers*

Um, that was a big change which led to a very specific change which was very cool. We realized, and this is just hours, as we are you know shooting the scene- we realize while we were shooting the scene and we were making these decisions.

”If Misha’s gonna have blood on his hand, he should put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, and that will mimic the handprint, from all those seasons ago when, Misha raised Dean from-

*video buffers*

And, I can honestly tell you, it was one of those moments, where Misha, Jensen, and I had, I think the... that it would be considered a tie. Cuz we all went

“Bloody hand!” it was just one of those moments when we were working it out, cuz we were all knee-deep in it. Because we were talking about it for weeks, and here we are on the day of shooting, and we’re solving this problem that had come our way, and we’re in a different room, “okay bloody sigil? Okay blade. Okay cut your hand, um.”.

Then it became

“Oh my god! This is a phenomenal opportunity to do something cinematic, to do something that is character-centric. That has resonance to the fans, and for the actors, and the characters that will be a beautiful throwback to a beautiful moment in their relationship.”.

And, so, we all agreed, we all loved it, and we all made sure, that Misha cut, you know, use the blade in his left hand to cut his right hand so he could do the same grip. And that’s how that idea was born. And, I think that it was a very powerful.. Powerful uh… moment, and it was born, that very day.”

Person: “wow. It was definitely a great call back to see. It was awesome.”

Richard: “And, I, ya know I agree. An, it was great to have everybody’s best heads working on the scene. So that things like that can be, uh welcomed into the conversation. And these surprises can happen, you can- you can… adapt with them. You don’t go,

“Oh, that’s a great idea, too bad we didn’t think of it sooner.”.

Like, we were all so attuned into what the scene was that we were ready for, something like that to come our way. And then we can use it, and the scene added another layer because of it.”

Person: “Yeah, awesome!”

Richard: “Yeah, thank you for the question.”

-------------

here you go @sunflowrly sorry if I wrote it weirdly - but did type everything that was said :)

[bi-bard]

Someone Else - Sam Winchester Imagine (Supernatural)

Title: Someone Else

Pairing: Sam Winchester X Reader

Requested: nope

Word Count: 1,105 words

Warning(s): a little bit of jealousy

Summary: (Season 11) (Inspired by "Someone Else" by Dylan) After meeting Eileen, (Y/n) is embarrassed by how jealous they get of the bond between her and Sam. However, it only gets worse when they learn that the jealousy may not be misguided.

Author's Note: I forgot how much I love writing for Sam (and most of the SPN characters, to be honest). It's nice to get back into the swing of things. Watch me do everything in my power to avoid saying anything even slightly negative about Eileen. She is easily one of my favorite characters in the show.

Hey! I did a rewrite of the ending of Supernatural. It took a really long time to complete, so it would mean a lot to me if you check it out. Here’s a link! (it’s on my personal account)

---------------------------------

I think most of my embarrassment came from the fact that Eileen was one of the best people I had ever met.

She was nice and funny and smart and an absolute badass. Everything pointed to me and her being best friends, or at least close to it.

So, why did I feel this gross pit in my stomach whenever she was around?

I knew the answer to that one: Sam.

Sam and I had been hunting together for years. We had seen each other at our worst and at our best. According to Dean, it really wasn't that surprising that I had fallen for Sam. He said it had been a matter of time.

"Looking at little green there, (Y/n)."

Speak of the devil. Dean walked over to me with a smirk on his face. We had all been researching together. I went to grab a book or two from a shelf when I caught sight of Sam and Eileen together. Talking and laughing... happy together.

I was pretty much hidden in the corner of the room.

"Shut up," I muttered, turning back to the books. "Dick."

"Why don't you say something to him," Dean asked, whispering so we didn't interrupt the two of them.

"I'm not gonna get in the way of them," I replied. "Look at them. They look happy."

"They look friendly," he corrected. "He's my brother, (Y/n). I can tell when he's fallen for someone... and it's not her."

"Whatever, Dean," I mumbled. I didn't want to get my hopes up. I snagged a book off the shelf. "See you later."

I walked back to the table, waving back to Eileen as I sat down.

I opened my journal and the book, trying to use the work to get rid of the gross feeling I felt. It made me feel like a terrible person. I adored Eileen, I didn't want to feel some weird kind of anger toward her. She had always been so kind to me.

A few hours later, I was half-focused and half-spaced out when the chair across the table from me squeaked as it was pushed. I looked up, wide eyes because of the shock of the noise. I let out a chuckle when I saw that it was just Eileen getting ready to go.

I closed my book and my journal as Sam walked Eileen to the staircase. We waved to each other before she left.

I picked up a few of the books that were left on the table and started walking to the bookshelf. Sam grabbed the few that I didn't get before and followed me.

"Are you feeling alright," Sam asked after a minute.

"Yeah," I said, drawing out the word as my eyebrows furrowed. I was a little confused by the question. "Why?"

"You just seemed a little out of it today," he shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure that you weren't feeling sick or anything."

"Thanks," I chuckled.

"You're alright then?"

I was just putting away my last book, about to shrug off the question. I was completely ready to avoid the conversation for the rest of my time on Earth. But something stung my mind and stopped my mouth from giving Sam some nonchalant answer.

What Dean had said early played in my head on a loop.

"(Y/n)," Sam pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked over at him, seeing how concerned he truly looked over my silence.

"Not really," I said before I could use the logical side of my brain to stop myself. "I... I feel bad."

"About what," Sam asked. He stopped putting the books away so he could give me all of his attention.

"Well," I trailed off for a moment, now scared out of my mind. I was too far down this road to turn back like nothing had happened.

I took a deep breath, "I always get this pit in the bottom of my stomach when I see you and Eileen together. And it makes me feel stupid because I adore her. She's so nice to all of us and she's so smart and funny. But when I see her with you, I feel gross, and I feel like such an ass for thinking that because even if something happens between you guys, I should be happy. You're supposed to be happy when the person you love ends up happy."

I finished my rambling a few seconds before my brain could register what I had said. After a moment, the sentence truly sunk in.

Sam was grinning at me.

"Listen," I forced a chuckle and tried to figure out an explanation. "You know what I meant, right? I mean, we've all been hunting together for years. Almost a decade. Of course, I love you. There are plenty of people I love, y'know?"

As I continued talking, Sam set the books he was holding on top of the bookshelf behind him and walked over to me. I was so busy covering up what I said, I didn't quite focus on him.

"Hey, (Y/n)," Sam said. I stopped talking, awkwardly messing with my hands. "I love you too."

My brain went from frantically going 100 miles an hour to completely freezing in place.

"What," I mumbled.

"I said... I love you too," he repeated.

Sam cupped the sides of my face gently and leaned down to kiss me. I reached up to touch his hands as I kissed him back. I leaned up a little as I got more comfortable in the moment.

He slowly pulled back and smiled at me. He pecked my lips again, "I love you."

"I love you too, Sam," I grinned back.

"Ew," we both pulled away to glare at Dean, who had his face scrunched up at us. "I didn't think about the consequences of giving you two advice."

"Shut up," Sam said. He leaned over and kissed my forehead. I leaned on his shoulder, trying to hide my face, which was turning red at the affection. "Wanna go to dinner tonight?"

"As a date or an escape from Dean," I asked.

"I heard that-"

"Both," Sam replied, completely ignoring his brother. Dean finally walked out of the room.

"I'd like that," I turned my head so I could smile at him.

We both smiled at each other for a moment without attempting to move. It was like a safe bubble. If we didn't move, it wouldn't go away.

As Sam leaned down to kiss me yet again, I felt comfortable and calm for the first time in a long time. I couldn't ask for anything more.

---------------------------------

Masterlist

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

folklore/evermore Writing Challenge (and Masterlist)

Maisie Peters - “You Signed Up for This” Writing Challenge Masterlist

[slowpoke-fics]

Lust

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Request Summary: something goes wrong and while the boys are on a hunt, a witch casts a spell on her so when they come back, sam is confused on how she’s acting and then realizes that there’s a lust curse on her. he has to get her through that while every touch is magnified.

Warnings: witch, hex? curse? voodoo?, smut, fingering, sam a little ooc, I know I missed some so as always read at your own risk.

A/N: I reread this a few times and I think I really like it, I hope you do too shawty cause I did change it up a bit. @sizekinkshawty I am so sorry for the long wait, I really thank you for being patient.

Your skin was on fire as Sam touched your shoulder, a gasp left your mouth at his touch, not missed by Sam who thinks about making you gasp like that under him. You also had the thought of being bent over the kitchen counter, gasping as he pushed into you, filling you with his-"Y/N? You with us?" You shook your head, nervously laughing, "Oh yeah, sorry, just in my thoughts. How was the hunt?" Dean and Sam slung their bags down, watching as you circled the counter to make your way to the refrigerator. "Pretty simple witch hunt, told you it'd be okay if you stayed here." You smiled at Sam, loving that he wouldn't take no for an answer when he knew you needed to rest after the vamp hunt last week.

"Good, I've got the chicken salad already made, Dean I'm starting burgers now, probably have time for a shower." Dean smiled at you, quickly running to you and grabbing both sides of your face, forcing your head to move as he needed to kiss your cheeks. You giggled a little bit, loving on your best friend by ruffling his hair before he turned to bee line to the shower. Sam had already pulled the salad from the fridge, taking his spot in front of you after pulling out two bowls, filling yours and his up. You admired the way he would always sit with you when you were doing something and he wasn't busy.

You took a good look at him. He was smiling as he scooped out the mixture of vegetables, eyes intently staring at the tongs, making sure not to drop any as he shakes the tongs to drop any loose pieces. Your attention is drawn to his hands as he shakes, his fingers loosely grasping the utensil, veins bulging on the back of his hands, tracing his arms, all the way up to his ruffled sleeve. The red and black flannel fabric strained around his large muscles, up until his shoulder, where the collar of his shirt settled out neatly. Your eyes traced down, his flannel unbuttoned twice, showing you a touch more skin than usual.

You wanted to touch him, unbutton his shirt to show are of his shiny skin, wanted to be lifted up- "Y/n, are you okay? You're spacing a bit." You smiled at him, your eyes back on his, realizing you had no idea what he'd said moments ago. "Oh, yeah, my minds just somewhere else." Sam rested his chin in the palm of his hand, smiling-or smirking-you aren't sure. "Where's it at then?" You blushed, turning back to the burgers, mumbling under your breath, "Somewhere intertwined with yours, I reckon," Sam wasn't sure he heard you correctly, and he didn't want to overstep, so he repeated what'd he'd originally said, "So, this witch had been heartbroken-" you listened to him as you flipped the burgers, still thinking about how big he would be inside of you, rubbing your legs together for some friction.

Sam studied you, watching as you bounced back and forth, not sure what was really going on and not liking being in the dark. "Y/n," his voice a lower monotone, sliding down to your core as if it was his tongue, you groaned at him, a blush rising to your face, "I'm listening, I swear." You heard Sam set something down, "Look at me." You don't know why, but you turned back around, something about that tone of voice calling to you just took control. "What is going on?" he spoke softly, and before you could open your mouth he added, "And do not lie to me." You sighed, "It's personal Sam," you gave a half smile, "it'll be okay." Sams facial features were leaking concern, and you hated that, but you just don't know if Sam feels the same way for you so they're no point in asking for some help when you're feeling this way.

"You tell me everything, I even know more than Dean, and that's saying something, you guys are attached at the hip." You laughed at him, "It's embarrass-" he interrupted you, "Don't care." You sighed, "I'm just really feeling it today ya know?" Sam looked at you puzzled, trying to put the pieces together. You laughed nervously, "I'm horny Sam." His eyes went wide and he stifled a laugh. "Oh!' another stifled giggle, "Uh- wanna talk about it?" A deep blush rose to your face, "I don't think so," you boldly winked at him turning your eyes back to the burgers and thoughts back to how good Sam would feel.

Sam was watching you, before hearing someone calling to him. "Sam?" He looked to you, who seemed unbothered by the noise. "Sam," a touch on his shoulder and he jumped out of his seat, you turned around quickly, Sam looking directly in front of him. "Sam? What's wrong?" You looked around, not seeing any red flags. Sam looked at you, "Yeah, it's all good, I just remembered there might be food in my room from before the hunt." An obvious lie, you thought, but you didn't push it.

Sam arrived in his room, staring at the witch he had met just days ago. "Listen, I told you to never be noticed again. This isn't exactly unnoticeable." The woman laughed, the pit in Sam's stomach grew. "Relax, I mean you no harm. I told you I wasn't affiliated with that woman, we just happened to practice in the same town." Sam was still on guard, "Get to the point." The witch beamed, "I cast a spell on you," Sams eyes widened, the witch spoke instantly, "I told you, relax! I cast a harmless 24 hour spell, it activates whenever you make psychical contact with your soulmate. Once activated, 24 hours later, all will be well and normal, and you'll know for sure. Your soulmate will only be affected by you, any other contact will be perfectly normal."

Sam was struck by an whirlwind of emotions, completely taken aback, not sure what to say. "How? How is that even possible?" The witched smiled, "Oh Winchester, I was not the only passive witch you didn't wrap up, I had lots of help." Sam looked at her for more answers, "Oh come on, please don't make me ruin the fun!!" Sam glared at her, "How do I know this is even true?" She sighed, starting to get annoyed, "It's kind of like voodoo, but calling to your souls," she touched Sam's cheek, "I could sense your pain hiding away from not having her, I just wanted you to know it's true. Blessed be to you Sam Winchester, you know where to find me if it doesn't end well." Like that she was gone. Sam thought for a minute on how to proceed, what was the answer here?

He walked back into the kitchen, stopping dead in his tracks when his eyes landed on you. The hamburgers were sitting on the table, you were leaned back on the counter, eyes closed, head tilted back exposing your neck, Sam wondering the sounds it would elicit to kiss you there. His eyes trailed down, tracing your arm to your hand which was furiously moving against your clit, your hips rocking forward into your hand, "Sam," you whimpered. The whole world changed for him at that moment, his eyes filled with lust, heavy footsteps as he continued to watch your shaking form walking to you. His left hand came to the right side of your face, thumb tracing your cheek softly, your eyes fluttered open, "Sam."

He smiled, lips coming just an inch from yours, his other hand now tangled in your hair, "I'm here baby, I'm here." Your lips crashed into his, his grip in your hair tightened when you nibbled his bottom lip, you moaned at the pain, loving him being all over you. You started to pull your hand out of your shorts, but Sam jerked his hand from your face, holding your wrist in place, his right hand roughly jerking your head back. "I didn't say to stop, do you understand?" You gasped, "I'm sorry, sir." You kept rubbing your clit as Sam moved to your neck, peppering kisses and bites all over you, careful to not leave marks. "That's a good girl."

"Tell me what your thinking about," his hand sliding in the waistband of your shorts, grasping your ass and gently massaging it. "Thinking about your cock pounding me," your breath was heavy, you were so close, "thinking about how I'd do anything you want if you'd fuck me. Wanna be so full of you." Sam smiled, biting your lip, "I'm gonna touch you now, is that okay?"

"Please, Sam," with that he spun you around, your back against his chest, his hand sliding past yours as you continued to rub your clit. His fingers slid into you, stretching you as you moaned, "Oh god, Sam, harder." Sam's other hand came up around your throat, squeezing so you could barely breathe, "Oh, my pathetic little whore, haven't even had my cock yet and you're begging." You gasped for air, your core heating up as Sam moved his fingers deep inside of your, hard and fast, hitting the perfect spot of and over, "yours." Sam loosened his grip on your throat, allow you to speak, "your whore, just yours," Sam's grip tightened slightly, giving you more air than before, your free hand sliding up your torso to gently pull at your nipple, "please, I want to come Sir."

"You wanna come for me?" You moaned, hips jerking out of need, feeling his hard member through your shorts, pressing into your ass. "Better hurry little girl, don't want Dean to see what a wanton little slut you are." He forced your head to look at him, he pressed his lips back into yours as he slipped another finger in you, causing you to cry out, "come on baby," giving you a soft kiss, "I know you wanna be good, show me how good you are." With that, you come, legs shaking, unable to catch your breath as Sam gently lets go of your neck, his hand sliding down to your stomach holding you in place while he gently continued to finger you, letting you ride it out. After a minute of him peppering kisses on your neck, he slowly pulled his fingers out of you, causing you to cry out. "Good girl," he locked eyes with you and he sucked your juices off his hands, "taste so good." You blushed, clearing your throat and starting to move quickly as you heard Dean coming down the hallway.

You quickly washed your hands before Sam, gutting plates out as Dean walked in and Sam washed his hands. You smiled brightly at him. "Glad you finally got off your ass and helped Y/n with dinner Sam," Dean picked as he sat down waiting for a plate. You laughed, "Stop nit picking, it was nice of him," you turned and winked at him, out of Dean's view. You and Sam sat down, not being able to take your eyes off of each other, and only half participating in Deans' conversation as you ate.

After you finished eating, you started to pick your plate up but Dean stopped you, "I got clean up, you made us dinner." You smiled, appreciating him you praised, "Thank you, I think it's time for me to head to bed anyway." You kissed Deans' cheek as he gladly stuck his cheek out to you, knowing your habits, then you turned to Sam doing the same but whispering just under Deans' earshot, "Find me when you want, I reckon we have things to discuss."

You trotted to your room, anxiety filling your body, but once in the safety of your room, you realized that Sam agreed that you're his. You started to get more confident, knowing how you'd felt about him for awhile now, you wondered if you were both too pussy and know you would be together and dare you say-in love?

Yes, you thought, I think so.

[sibsteria]

hallelujah [jack kline]

prompts: ''please, don't stop'', ''I love it when you kiss my neck'', ''you want to have sex with me?''

summary: first time with jack

characters: Jack Kline, (mentioned) Dean Winchester, (mentioned) Sam Winchester, (mentioned) Castiel

warning: smut, fluff, first time awkwardness, tooth rotting reassurance fluff, literal filth

---

The atmosphere was light and solacing, the subtle tenderness of his fingers soothed my restless arms, as they danced across my skin with such delicacy. His hands left tingles, igniting a fire that spread across me, shivers took their toll up and down my body.

I looked up to his angelic face, to be greeted with a toothy grin, as his eyes settled on my relaxed frame. If my heart did stutter as much as it did metaphorically, I'd be six feet under from the day I met him. I lay cradled between his legs, my head against his chest, as my body was positioned on it's side. Feeling the soft inhales and exhales coming from the soft boy below me had lulled me into such a confined sense of security, his warmth enveloping me as I revelled.

The remainder of TFW had business elsewhere, so this left me and my chosen soulmate in the confines of the Men of Letters abode. If soulmates were a thing, Jack and I could be labelled as a prime example. I mindlessly fiddled with the folds of his jacket as we found comfort on the sofa, his hand that was currently grazing my arm had moved up to repeat a stroking movement in my hair. I hummed as the sensation of him running his fingers through my hair was a well-found favourite feeling of mine.

Each time he accidentally tangled his fingers within strands of my hair, creating a soft tug, would create a fiery pit in my stomach.

''Y/n...I need to-'' He paused for a moment, ''-ask you something?'' he had ended his sentence as if it were a question to himself as well, unsure of his words. His words were communicated in a shaky manner and he was biting his lip, he only did that when he was nervous.

I sat myself up and he followed suit, I sensed the seriousness of the situation and reached forward to clasp his hands in mine.

''Are you okay? Is something wrong?'' I let my tone remain calm yet my head was spinning with questions.

''N-No, nothing's wrong, I just-'' He swallows hard, his eyes can't seem to reach mine, so I cup his cheek which is red and warm.

''Whatever it is, you know you can say anything to me, I'm the last person to ever hurt you.'' I turned his jaw, carefully and lightly, so his eyes were looking into mine.

''I was, uh...speaking to Dean last week and he was teaching me about...pornography?'' I almost choked on my own spit, my eyes widened a small amount.

''What did he say? I swear to Chuck if he said anything ba-''

''He said that, everything that went in in those...videos, were fake and that you should only repeat what they were doing with someone you love.'' My heart softened for the elder Winchester, who knew under that tough exterior that he knew the right things after all.

''Did he tell you what it was they were doing?'' I tilted my head as he continued to recite his conversation.

''I had read and learned about intercourse before but, saw no need for the knowledge. Until now.'' I dropped my jaw, no way, he doesn't mean- ''I would like to try it with you.'' He smiles wide and it makes my heart drum like a Metallica canticle.

''You want to have sex with me?'' I couldn't hide the awe and blush of the features of my face that betrayed me. ''Are you sure? No one is pushing you to do this, are they?'' I search his eyes for any uncertainty but find no evidence.

''I'm sure, because I love you, no one has told me to do anything. I really love you.'' The sincerity and sureness in his voice- I could pass out, if people's hearts can shrink from hate then my heart was exploding from love and affection.

''I love you too, Jack, when do you want to-'' I couldn't find the words I was searching for, but he took the hint.

''I-I would like to try now? If that's okay, I don't want to make you do something you don't want to.'' His eyebrows pursed in genuine concern, how could anyone ever say no to him?

''Of course, I would do anything for you- with you, Jack. I'd give my life for you, if the situation desired it.'' I could see the tears glaze over his cerulean stars that guarded his gaze.

''I could never ask you for that, I'd never let you do that.'' He pulled me into his strong cherish, his arms embracing me in a lax yet wistful capture. My heart was crying out to him, craving his everything, beseeching him as a whole. But not in a sexual way, in an amorous pining way.

''I love you more than I have anything, more than I will love anything.'' I voiced, looking into his azure allure as he beamed down at me.

''I love you.'' That was all he needed to declare before I pushed forward, seizing his ductile lips with mine, moving with a fervour that could shake the building. His delighted trill that vibrated against my mouth was a sound worth the world, every nerve in my chassis felt electric, with the passionate epicentre in the deep of my stomach. What were once innocent butterflies, felt like raging hawks in the depths of this tension.

His docile nature is an adverse contrast to the cruelty of most men I have met, the sensation of his padded fingers drifting across my skin as if they belonged there, was dynamizing.

I decided that I would take direction, seeing as I have prior experience. As our lips remained deep into a passionate lock, which could taunt the most enlightened of couples.

I lightly shifted him on to his back, moving his to lie onto the sofa, as I sat in the space in front of himself. I broke our connection to press small and sighted kisses the the outline of his jaw, he breathes out what I guess he was holding, with a small profound noise. I moved my kisses across his jaw until I reach the corner.

''Are we going to?- Y'know-'' I could pin-point his struggle so I decided to answer for him.

''Yeah, are you sure you want this? None of this matters to me as long as I have you.'' I felt his reaction before I heard it.

''Oh-I'm sure, if this is any part of it, I can't wait.'' What did I do to deserve this jewel of a soul.

I lifted my leg to straddle over his lap, almost as if instinct, his hands found the safety of my hips. I felt my eyes becoming heavy with lustful dilation as I inclined my head down to re-animate my lips with his in another searing kiss. We had kissed before, a lot, but nothing could compare to right now.

I seated myself down more, pressing myself against his lap, lighter than air. I didn't want to push him right of the bat.

His careful touch trailed up the side of my back, whilst one hand remained where it lay. His lips moved so fast, it was hard to keep up, I changed my approach. I continued down the road of gentle jaw pecks and moved down towards his neck, which was high in temperature. I added the aspect of pulling his skin through my lips and teeth with pleasurable suction, creating a small purple mark on neck which disappeared a few moments after. This was the first time he let out a fully fledged moan and his hips involuntarily bucked up to press against me. My breath hitched and through impulse I ground down on him harder.

''I love it when you kiss my neck, gah-'' He let out another strangled moan as I returned my focus to his neck, his crotch pushed up once again and connected against mine.

''Oh- can you do that again?'' His voice was hardly there as I felt him getting hard.

I listened to his plea and grinded myself down onto him, this time, I didn't stop. His hand gripped my hip, but he had trouble holding on.

''Here- this might be easier to hold on to.'' I guided his hands down towards the skin below my ass, which connected to my thigh. He grappled onto it and I sucked in air between my teeth, biting on my tongue, although it wasn't pain.

''Sorry! Did I hurt you?'' His frantic apology reminded my that I was the first person teaching him how to copulate.

''N-No, felt good, you can do that as much as you like.'' I edged him on, he nodded and gripped me again, this time moving onto my ass and I lurched my front forward. Burying my head into his neck, I whimpered.

''How did you know to-'' I couldn't answer as he spoke before I could finished,

''I guessed, was that right?'' He had a hopeful look in his eyes which almost made me cry out.

''So, so right. You're doing everything right.'' I moaned against his ear, taking in his ear lobe, nipping at it. His other hand which rested on my back had moved down to cup the other side of my ass, mirroring the other. He pushed my hips down to meet his, impatiently, he really couldn't wait. I can tell already he has an extreme praise kink. I slid my hips across, driving against his cock. He bucks again, fast and sure.

Today was a good day to wear a skirt.

His length was solid and craving release, his lips found my neck, as mine had once found his. He copied what I had done, nipping and sucking at the skin, but this time it would mark. I whined out in frustration.

His hips coiled up faster, stuttering as he came, unexpectedly. Holy motherfucking shit. He called out my name in shattered cries, clasping at any part of me he could. His eyes were screwed as he experienced sexual fulfilment. shut He stopped for a moment after he peaked, I kissed his forehead and his nose as he smiled up at me in awe.

''Was-Was that?'' He searched for the words but couldn't find them.

''You had an orgasm, and I'm guessing your first. I'm also guessing you liked it.'' I heaved an amused exhale, he had no idea how hot he was in this second, he sat up to take his jacket off as I rested on his lap still.

''Did it feel like that for you?'' I could see the wishing in his sky shaded eyes.

''Not yet, but this is about you, we don't need to carry on-'' I stopped my sentence as I felt him grow once again beneath me.

''No refractory interval, huh.'' I whispered to myself in shock.

''In-In the video, the people didn't have clothes on, is that normal. And I didn't put my-'' I stopped him before I could blush any further.

''Uh yeah it's normal don't worry! You just had an orgasm from grinding your- self against me. We haven't had sex yet.'' I brushed the hair from his forehead, which stuck to him because of the cold sweat lacing his skin.

''Can-Can we? Now?'' His hot, pink, cheeks blaring against the sunlight, beautiful as he begged. I couldn't refuse him. His breathing was normal and fluid now, seemingly recovered completely.

''If you really can't wait any longer.'' I cupped his face, kissing him once again, rolling my hips down onto his. He was impossibly hard. I moaned again, slipping my hands under his shirt brushing against his untouched body.

He still remained sat up as I pulled of his shirt, his chest had a small redness across it from the heat, fucking beautiful.

I reached down to grab the hems of my shirt when his hand stopped me.

''Can I?'' Jack's curious eyes bounced between mine and my shirt.

''Go ahead.'' I shuffle back from his lap, still straddling him. His fingers find the end of my shirt and slowly pull it up, revealing my good bra thank the lord- actually no, let's not thank him.

''If it's okay with you, I'll take care of this part, it can be tricky.'' I motion to my black, lacy garment and he mumbles an 'okay'.

I reach behind myself, taking a breath before I unclasp the back, pulling off the straps and letting it fall to the floor. I go to cover myself but Jack restricts me, his head moves in confusion.

''Don't do that, I want to see you.'' His declare makes my head reel.

''I'm sorry that I can't be more than this for you.'' I remove my arms from my chest as he holds my hands.

''Why would you want to be? This is you, and as I once head Dean say-'' I inwardly cringe at his name being used in this situation. ''I think the word breath-taking describes you.'' His still-sitting form moved forward so his head can near towards me, his eyes watch me closely before leaning down. He presses soft and sweet kisses to each bust of my chest, I groan out in pleasure, but not physically. The emotional heaviness of the moment is what makes me cry out, how could one person love another so immensely.

''I love you. And that means all of you.'' I shut my eyes in impassioned heaven.

''I love you too.'' I kissed him before I left the warmth of his lip, he whined before I could speak.

''We need to take the rest of our...clothes off.'' I bit my lip and looked off to the side in blushing attraction.

''O-Oh!'' He seems to excite at this and eagerly unbuttons his jeans, unzipping before ultimately dropping them completely. ''Should I take my underwear off also?'' He questions me. His briefs are soaked from his previous settlement and I long to wonder what it would feel like to have him in my mouth, that would have to wait.

''If you'd allow me-'' I step towards him, slowly reaching for his clothed crotch, he nods in affirmation. I hook my fingers around the sides of his briefs, kissing his shoulder and chest as I start to pull them off. He kicks them from himself once they reach a certain point and points towards my skirt.

''Can I take it off?'' I nod and smile at him.

''You can do anything you want, anything.'' I say, a sincere and truthful confession.

He kneels below me, looking up with an innocent yet ruined look in his eyes. Pressing small kisses to my stomach and thighs as he pulls down my skirt along with my underwear in one swift action. I didn't feel a need to be nervous with him anymore, letting my body do the talking instead of words I led him back towards the couch, which up until this point remained un-christened. That was about to change.

''In the video, the man puts his mouth on her...lower area.'' He whispers in thought as he sat on the couch.

''That's not important right now, we can explore that later. Right now, I just want you to feel the peak of physical affection.'' He gives me one of his toothy smiles again and I can't help but stare at him with adoration in my eyes before we resume the position we were previously in.

I straddled him with no effort and took his impressive length in my hand. He gripped the couch and moaned lowly as I worked him up and down a few times, spreading the leaking pre-cum.

''You ready?'' I lean down, kissing his nose, fondly.

''Yes, really ready.'' He breathes out, I prod my entrance with the tip of him, sliding it in slightly.

He let out fast paced breathy groans as I slid down onto his firm cock. I'm in no way a virgin, but it's been a while.

He moves his hands my my waist, his nails dig into me, I moan.

''I'm not hurti-'' I answer him before he could finish.

''Definitely not hurting me.'' I sigh in pleasure, down his ear as I hunch over.

''I'm gonna move now.'' I mumble, he doesn't know what's coming to him.

I lift up my hips until I reach the tip of his cock before lightly slamming back down, his hands slide down to clutch the skin on the side of my thighs.

''Do-Do that again.'' He groans.

''I'll do more than that.'' There was no need to hold back, I slid myself up again and repeated the motion, setting a steady momentum. His hips snapped up to meet mine as I bounced with no shame.

''Oh, please, don't stop.'' He rushed out, trying to set a faster pace as he snaps up with impatience.

''Jack, you wanna- try being in- control?'' I attempt to communicate through breathy laments.

''Yes, please.'' I stop sinking my hips for a moment whilst I slowly try to transfer my body weight to beneath him. He gets the gist and helps to flip us over, carefully.

''Don't hold back, you don't need to be gentle.'' I brush a hand through his hair so it's out of his face before an unexpected thrust knocks the air out of me. He doesn't waste time, pushing himself to the brink of speed, I struggle to find somewhere to anchor my hands and I settle for one against his shoulder blade and the other in his hair.

With the relentless pounding and merciless fucking of his hips, I felt blissful thrill that I had never felt before, I couldn't help the tug of his hair that pulls between my fingers. He wails out, I panic and try to apologise.

''Sorry, fuck! Did that hur-'' He snaps into me with more meaning than ever, it's ruthless and hot.

''Do it again.'' He begs into my ear, his voice wavering. I do as he says and pull against his hair, he whines, biting down into my neck.

''Fuck, Jack!'' I cry as his pelvic bone creates intoxicating friction against my swollen clit, he's balls deep and no where near stopping.

''Are you sure you haven't done this before?'' I grip at the skin on his shoulder blade and he grouses in pleasure.

''Never, you're the only person I'd ever do this with, I love you.'' He grunts our as his cock remains a punishing and brutal pace. The sound of his voice saying 'I love you' in such an intimate moment makes me orgasm on the spot, I came hard and with a recoil I stutter my hips to try and match his, failing at the objective. I moan out his name as I grip onto his hair, the hardest I have.

''Jack!'' He pounds impossibly faster as my walls clench around him, begging him to let go, and he does. With a chorus of strangled moans, and stammered whines, he came. He gives a few more ruts before collapsing his head against my chest, leaving kisses up my neck.

I feel my body give up, refusing to move, refusing to breathe.

''O-oh, wo-wow. Woah.'' Jack grins with astonishment.

''I know, Jack. That was- especially with you- and-'' I give up on words.

''I want to do that all the time.'' He let out a throaty laugh, but I knew he was completely serious.

''We can, maybe not all the time but- when it doesn't inconvenience the others.'' It rings in my head for a moment before I realise.

''Shit! The guys will be back soon, grab your clothes.'' I usher him to hurry up and I grab mine as well, stammering along to my room with whatever working muscles I had left. As soon as I shut my door, I felt the front one open. Close call.

I breathe out in relief.

''What the fuck?'' I hear from outside.

''Uh, Y/n?'' I looked towards a blushing Jack. ''I forgot to pick something up.'' He drops his clothing and I realise we are missing his briefs. Oh, fuck.

''What the fuck is this?'' Ah yes, that would be your adopted sons cum-stained underwear, Dean.

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

for @bend-me-shape-me 's SPN advent calendar 2020. prompt: phone calls and late night texts.

Cas isn't a serial texter.

And Dean's a-okay with it.

But for all that's worth, they sure seem to have a ridiculous amount of emotionally significant conversations via, or starting off as, texts. And most often, in the middle of the night.

*

>>> hello, dean. [12:07 am]

Dean jolts up at the sound, realizing he fell asleep still wearing his headphones, with the laptop on his lap (and a new episode of The Good Place playing) and rolls his eyes at himself, hitting pause before he can see what’s happening (because he has good reflexes, and because screw spoilers that’s why) and rummaging for his phone.

At this hour of the night, it has to be something important.

It doesn’t really strike him that Mechanical Engineering majors whose only other selfprofessed skill is air guitar aren't exactly the frontline warriors for midnight emergencies.

Cas's name shows up when he squints at the too-bright screen, and he sits up a little straighter.

<<< hey [12:09 am]

<<< you OK? [12:09 am]

The response is immediate.

>>> do you have peanut butter? [12:09 am]

And as if it's an afterthought, Cas adds.

>>> yes, I'm fine. how are you? [12:10 am]

Dean blinks.

<<< peachy. peanut butter? [12:10 am]

At least this time the response takes a while. Dean wonders if Cas realized it was midnight, and not exactly a time to run inventory on your best friend's stash of condiments.

>>> I ran out. [12:12 am]

Dean sighs, unable to help smiling.

It's not like he's a stranger to Cas's weird cravings when he's high. (There'd been this one time with pie and a traumatized Gas 'N Sip cashier that still sits heavy on Dean's conscience.) But he doesn't think Cas is supposed to be high right now — Dean's usually either invited or informed by an unspoken rule — which just means this is regular "jelly, not jam"-Cas, at his core a weird, persistently sleep-deprived economics major and astronomy nerd, that Dean may or may not have had a crush on for an embarrassingly long time, and who's also prone to grammatically perfect texting, deadpan, Disney references, and bluntness when the occasion calls for it.

<<< pretty sure i have some [12:14 am]

>>> :) [12:14 am]

>>> I'm coming over [12:14 am]

*

And weird as it may sound, that had turned out to be the night Cas told him he was gay. Said it had been a revelating moment, unprecedented and wholly unexpected — and apparently revelations come in pairs because it had been followed by an intense need for peanut butter, and the rest, he explained emphatically, was history.

Dean had just snorted, congratulated him, and brought out the fancier plates for sandwiches — shipped in from home instead of a sale at Target — all the while, repeating to himself in a loop, that this changed nothing between them, nothing at all, and Cas having the capacity to be attracted back to him didn't mean that he ever would be (or for hell's sake, he'd scoffed at his traitorous chick-flick-nonsense brain, is.)

*

The second time had been early — way, way too early and it was by pure chance that Dean was awake to respond at six friggin' am on a Sunday. Like, that’s practically nighttime. 

Goddamn stupidly-fit running-freak.

Dean picks up his phone blearily, tongue in cheek as he clicks on it.

>>> I miss you [6:28 am]

>>> I'd* miss you [6:29 am]

Dean's stomach twists, and he's not sure if it's in a good way, or a bad way, or what-the-sincere-fuck-are-you-talking-about way.

<<< what [6:32 am]

<<< wtf are you talking about? [6:32 am]

Nothing.

<<< cas? [6:33 am]

<<< dude [6:34 am]

<<< cas???? [6:34 am]

Dean swears at his screen, more queasy than irritated. He can't stop fidgeting, so gives up on lying down altogether and hoists himself to his feet. Better to get his friggin' toothbrush since he's already up, and now definitely awake. Cas was so paying for this later.

He comes back, mouth mint-fresh in theory but still tasting awful and of fear and dread, and practically sags when he sees his screen blare with two messages from Cas.

>>> sorry, I had to make a call. [6:42 am]

>>> I'm not taking the job. [6:42 am]

*

And that's how Dean finds out about Michael (Cas's oldest brother, entitled asshole) inviting Cas to join his and Lucifer's (second oldest, bag of dicks) firm the year he graduates — invite, of course, being a loosely used word here for expecting it blindly (out of some crap he calls 'loyalty') and being readily willing to manipulate him into it.

And it's how he finds out that Cas turned them down.

"It's not who I am anymore." Cas had repeated, third time probably, and surer than before, and Dean had nodded earnestly before realizing Cas couldn't see him through the phone, and humming his affirmation instead. "And if I go back there, I'm never getting out again."

Dean'd swallowed.

"I don't want to." Cas had said, voice trembling. "I am — my own person here. It shouldn't be like this but this is the first time I have autonomy, Dean. Here is free will, and here are you. I don't — I can't. I'm not going to let them take it away."

"Good." He'd sounded shaky to even himself. "Don't."

"Yes." Cas had promised. "I'm not going."

*

And eventually they'd moved past the heavy talk into why-didn't-I-hear-about-this-before territory, Dean being righteously annoyed at his best friend for keeping something so huge from him, and Cas making lame (but probably valid) excuses in the name of not knowing how to explain the situation until he knew himself what he was going to do, because Dean may've been the first person he'd confided in about the insane fuckery that been his childhood and adolescence, but that still didn't mean he'd understand this, broken and convoluted.

And then Cas had nicely segued himself out of Dean's target of irritation and added, "They asked Gabriel too, by the way."

"And?" Dean didn't ever have much care for Gabriel (third oldest brother, cares about Cas, still a jerk) but Cas shared an apartment with him, so he had to face him plenty.

"He's running off to Miami."

And Dean had thrown his head back and laughed until Cas had smoothly added, "And I was wondering if you would consider moving in with me." 

At which point, of course, he'd started coughing instead, because holy shit, it actually made sense (Sammy had left for Stanford two months back, and Dean lived alone in a space that had probably been two big even when there were two of them) and might actually happen, but Dean wasn't really sure how much longer he'd be able to hide his crush, sharing a friggin' kitchen with the guy.

*

The third time's after their first date.

(Because, well. It happened.

It happened with Dean leaning across the breakfast table to prove to Cas his bacon was superior (to cookie friggin' crunch, because goddamn is Cas a dork) and Cas taking a bite with their eyes fixed on each other's, and Dean turning red when Cas licked his lips and then, just like that, Cas swearing under his breath (definitely filed for later pondering, that bit), grabbing Dean, and kissing the living daylights out of him.

And Dean had kissed back with everything he had, hands cupping his face, and nearly melting in his arms - but then they'd separated for air and Cas had had an apologetic look on his face and when Dean had tried to lean in to kiss it away, he'd received half a smile and a shake of his head.

"Let's do it the way we're supposed to."

And Dean had known immediately what he'd meant. Let's not fuck this up by becoming best friends and roommates who sleep together. Let's...play safe.

"Okay. Uh," he'd rubbed the back of his neck. "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

"Thursday." Cas had promised with twinkling eyes, though Dean had already known he was going to say that since he knew Cas’s week at least as well as he knew his own, and two days and an anxious half of a thursday later, they went on their first date. Burgers and beer, and Led Zepp, and hands held in the Impala. Four hours later, they were back, and in their respective rooms, and Dean couldn't stop thinking about Cas.)

When his phone vibrates, Dean reaches for the bedside table.

It's at least midnight, it feels like he's been in bed for ages, and the only reason he isn't asleep is because all his brain seems to be capable of at the moment is thinking endlessly about the date. Fortunately, he's not the only one — although he's better at hiding it (practise, he'd say) because his heart is in his mouth the moment he reads Cas's text.

>>> I think I'm falling in love with you [11:43 pm]

>>> already. [11:43 pm]

Dean is very grateful for autocorrect as he types back with too-excited thumbs and a racing heart.

<<< so much for doing it the regular way cas mosby [11:44 pm]

>>> in my defense, it's been years. [11:44 pm]

<<< that part i get [11:44 pm]

<<< me too [11:44 pm]

<<< but youre supposed to wait three days before calling dumbass [11:45 pm]

Jesus, he'd never expected to blush cause of texts, but here they are.

>>> I'm texting. [11:46 pm]

And he guesses he'd never expected to giggle (he's alone there, sue him) cause of them either, but Cas apparently exists to prove him wrong about himself.

<<< good for you [11:46 pm]

He sends, biting his lip, and then lies in the silent darkness for a couple of minute, devoid of text notifications entirely, thinking uneasily — before he gives up.

They're idiots, sure, but nobody is this dumb.

<<< so when the fuck are you coming over then [11:50 pm]

>>> on my way <3 [11:50 pm]

And thinking about the lightening speed of that reply and the fucking heart emoji is enough to sustain him the entire one minute it takes Cas to get there, gently opening Dean's door, and climbing into bed — fitting in Dean's space like it's been made for him, and kissing him in greeting after leaving his phone on the table next to Dean's.

*

As it goes, with the confessions and the midnight cravings (and the grocery lists that keep getting piled onto through the day, and random pickup lines Cas decides are perfect to send Dean daily once he's found a website for puns, courtesy of Claire, and of course, pictures of Grease, which clog Dean's cloud in dozens whenever the ridiculously cute cat does something even slightly out of routine, god bless her lazy soul) Cas might just be a texter.

But Dean's pretty sure he's more than okay with it, so it doesn't really matter.

[emotionallyits2009]

deancas fic rec list!

hello everyone! happy christmas to those who celebrate it, my gift to you is my fic rec list that i said i would make like a month ago. the only thing it is organized by is canonverse vs alternate universe. tried to cover a variety of subjects but there are in particular many fics of the genre “postcanon where cas is human and he and dean live together and slowly finally get their shit together” because i know what i’m about, son. HOPE U ENJOY. and if you wanna talk about any of them or rec me other fics please do. :) 

Canonverse:

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo, 30k, explicit “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.” There are many fics set in a post-canon universe where Cas is human and he and Dean live together and slowly fall into a relationship. Imo this one is the best of the best of that genre. This was one of the first fics I read back in July when I was getting Back Into Supernatural where I was like oh fuck I’m like in this. Dean builds Cas planters and bookshelves and a chicken coop and they fight and work through it.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits, 10k, explicit For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless. Really Gets the dynamic of Cas doesn’t think Dean wants him to stay/Dean thinks Cas will leave the first chance he gets. Also a nice example of Cas thinking he’s not wanted if he’s not useful/powerful and being told otherwise. Another all-time fave!

lonely hearts by outphastthemoat, 4.5k, gen He thinks he might give up having his own anything just to be able to step foot inside the room next door and sit on the edge of Dean’s bed instead. This one is for the CAS GIRLS who know what LONELINESS feels like.

Helionneiros by aeli_kindara, 24.2k, mature In which Dean visits his mother, and Claire takes Cas on a hunt. I’m always on the lookout for more fic with Claire and Jack. Jack doesn’t show up until the end here but the relationship between Cas and Claire is really nice.

Crawl by aeriallon, 11k, explicit It’s been almost four years since Castiel left Kansas; he'd eventually settled in an island town where he has a job, a house, and a life without the Winchesters. Every winter, Dean drives down to the coast to see him. Another fic where Cas is human but in this one he took some time for himself and got some distance from the Winchesters! He gets to be competent and weird as a human and we love that for him. I must warn you all that this fic contains one use of the phrase “making love” which would normally put me right off but it’s still worth reading. The first of a three-part series.

home where you hold me by microcomets, 1.6k, gen Cas and Dean, in the moments between their battles, ache for quiet spaces. Technically this is a coda to 10x20 but you don’t need the episode for context. Short and very sweet.

Build a Home by domesticadventures, 20.1k, teen After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t. This one is so cute it’s like what if once they were done saving the world Sam and Dean actually invited other hunters to move into the bunker with them. Obviously Dean wants that to include Cas but doesn’t know how to use his words.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo, 22.4k, explicit This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. Angst fic! They go on a road trip and Dean is severely fucked up post-Mark of Cain.

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon, 8.6k, explicit No one ever tells Dean anything. Another nice getting-together fic.

Creature of Habit by trinityofone, 5.2k, teen The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well. This one is ancient by destiel standards (written during season 5) but it manages to nail the married couple vibes they give off in later seasons. Cas is a bitch and Dean likes him so much. <3

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by Tuesday, 11.2k, mature Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this. Another old one that is a lot of fun! They get Accidental Angel Married and if you don’t enjoy dumb fanfiction tropes like that I don’t know what to say to you.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi, 4k, teen In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything. The OTHER accidental angel marriage fic written in 2010. 

Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord, 24.8k, explicit A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there. At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history. Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe. Time travel is FUN. There’s an excellent part where (minor spoilers) future!Dean is like, “Guess what, asshole? You like me so much you marry me!!!!!!!!!!!” to 2008!Castiel that made me laugh out loud the first time I read it. Also just a good reminder of how most problems in life are temporary and if you could go back in time to talk to your younger self you’d be like, “Hey man. Chill out. You get through it.”

The Path of Fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, mature After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years. There’s a lot of amnesia fic and djinn fic out there were Dean wakes up ~suddenly together with Cas~ but I like this one in particular because he’s initially very confused and kind of a dick about it until he acknowledges that being with Cas makes him happy.

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden, 95k, explicit Three months ago, when Dean decided to retire, he thought his life was going to end up differently. He'd thought that he might get to have it all, Sam, Cas, Jack, and nice little place to live. Instead he gets Sam and Jack off on their Summer of Love Tour, radio silence from Cas, and a never-ending road trip consisting of himself. Still reeling from the loss of his grace, Castiel travels the country in search of hunts. Driven by a need to prove his usefulness, he pushes himself beyond all limits of endurance. Together, with the help of a few friends, a crumbling Victorian house, and a stray cat, Dean and Castiel patch themselves back together and create a home together. Do you wanna read almost one hundred thousand words of Dean and Cas having extremely intense feelings but refusing to voice them aloud? Haha of course you do that’s why you’re here. There’s also a lot about Cas adjusting to being human and being depressed about it which might resonate if you’ve ever felt weird about having a body. To be honest the author could stand to use a few more commas but there were also half a dozen moments that made me put my phone down and drag my hand slowly over my face and whisper “oh my god” to myself which is like, the ultimate measure of a good fanfiction so it gets to be on the list.

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers, 31.6k, explicit dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas. Have you seen the fanon (apparently pioneered by Mr. Jackles “Original Deankin” Ackles himself) that Dean used to prostitute himself to feed himself and Sam when they were younger? Are you interested in exploring that concept in fanfiction? Well, this is the only fic you need. Mind the tags on this one! It’s not what I’d call happy but it’s good.

Some Assembly Required by narrow_staircases, 47k, mature It’s September of 2005, and Dean Winchester, in an attempt to outrun old mistakes and painful memories, finds himself in southern Kentucky on a wild goose chase. He’s completely certain this weird religious movement he’s “investigating” is a hoax, despite the miraculous healings people report, and he’ll be back on the road in a day or two. Things are looking up when he meets Cas, an awkward (and gorgeous) graduate student who’s actually doing honest-to-god research into the local tent revival meetings. When that research takes a weird and personal turn, Dean’s left to face two very serious realities: one, this may be a real case after all, and two, he’s fallen way harder for Cas than he should ever have let himself. Stanford-era AU of Dean trying to avoid his father and getting in over his head on a case.

Alternate universe:

And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets, 57k, mature Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The  professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen. Mundane AUs in this fandom have to be really, really good to catch my attention and this one is! It’s exactly what it says in the summary and the characterization is spot-on. 

Out to Drift by deathbanjo, 20.9k, mature Dean drives a black car with a loud engine. He lies too easily. He keeps a gun in the back of his jeans, and Castiel isn’t sure, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Dean has killed someone before. Two people in fucked-up unstable situations meeting and forming a connection. Honestly guys I really just love deathbanjo.

[fantasmalresplendent]

Dean died at the ripe old age of 85.

In his lucid moments during the days leading up to his passing, in which Dean was just as sharp and as bright as he was fifty years ago, he remarked that people must think he’d robbed the cradle with a “hot piece” such as Castiel hanging around him. 

“You don’t mind that I’m a wrinkly, senile, crotchety old bastard?” Dean had asked, more than once, but he had always said it with a smile. And Castiel would smile back, replying with the same answer the answer many times, in many ways:

“You’re not senile.”

“Old, but not a bastard.”

“I thought I was the crotchety one.”

“I don’t mind.”

Then Dean would smile, and it would light up the room, and Castiel would wonder again how he came to deserve the focus, let alone the affection, of such a man.

“It’s not about deserving, Cas,” Dean had said, half-whispered in the middle of the night a few short months after they had begun to share the bed they laid in. “It’s… fuck, well I don’t know what it’s about. But people don’t get what they deserve, not most of the time.”

Castiel frowned, furrowing his brows. “They should,” he grumbled.

“Well if people got what they deserved, they’d… I don’t know, Sam would’ve actually become a lawyer, stayed in school. Jo, Ellen, Bobby, they’d all still be here. I’d get mauled by a werewolf or something, go out with a bang, and Baby,” Dean said sternly, as though chastising the universe itself for such an injustice, “Would never get so much as a scratch on her.”

“You think that’s what you deserve?” Castiel’s voice was soft, not wanting to disturb the still of the night, but steely as he considered even the possibility of Dean’s violent end. 

Dean registered that, swallowing, “I don’t know. I guess I just never thought I’d even make it this far. Hunters have the shortest lifespans of any human subspecies,” Dean cracked a smile, but his heart wasn’t in the joke. Castiel knew Dean was doing the math in his head. He knew Dean was mentally recalling how long it had been since Bobby left for heaven. Tallying up the number of people who were gone because of self-sacrifice, mistakes, pure dumb luck. Counting exactly how many years he had outlived his own mother. 

Castiel had wrapped his arms around Dean then, embracing him, surrounding him, and they curled into each other completely. Burying himself in Castiel’s neck, Dean had never felt so close to him, and yet so far away. “You don’t have to follow the same patterns if you don’t want to, Dean,” Castiel stated, as if it were that easy. “Do you want to?”

“Want to what?”

“Get mauled by a werewolf?”

Dean sniffed in laughter, and that was answer enough.

Castiel found himself stroking Dean’s hair, an action he felt suited him. He thought for a moment in the stillness and in the space between their breaths. “Maybe it’s idealistic of me, but I still think people should get what they deserve. Even- no, especially you.”

Dean took his time answering, opening his mouth several times before actually saying, “Sometimes I don’t think I know what I deserve.”

“I guess we’ll just have to figure that out together then. We have time,” Castiel kissed Dean’s forehead and he sighed at the touch. “We have plenty of time. Heaven will wait for you, no matter how long.”

Dean looked up at him then with a pout, “You sound pretty confident in that statement for a dude who hasn’t shown up to heavenly chorus practice in a few years.” 

Castiel smiled, “I’d rather be here with you. Always have.”

The man blushed. “Well, if I go… I mean, wherever I go… Where will you end up?”

“I could go with you.”

“Where?”

Castiel closed the distance between them fully, thumbing across Dean’s cheek as they kissed. “Anywhere. If you want me there, I will be there, whether it’s here or heaven. I’ll be there.”

“For how long?”

“For however long you want me to be.”

Dean kissed back, his fingers tangling in Castiel’s hair. “Yeah. Okay.”

  Sam went not long after Dean. It wasn’t a surprise; it was his time as well. His children were grown, his grandchildren almost grown, Castiel knew they’d miss him but that they’d be all right. And they knew to call on “Uncle Cas” if they weren’t, even the little ones who didn’t understand exactly how they were related, or why Great Uncle Dean's husband was only about as old as their parents.

“I mean I love the little gremlins,” Dean had said, cracking open a beer after a long few days of babysitting Sam and Eileen's girls while the expecting parents were in the hospital. He was exhausted, they both were, but beaming from meeting the newest member of the Winchester clan: a healthy baby boy named Robert. “But have you seen Sam’s house? Goddamn mess in there.”

“You… don’t want to have some of your own?” Castiel had asked carefully, taking the beer Dean held out for him.

“You’re making them sound like trading cards. I don’t know, I- I guess I never thought too hard about it.” Castiel could tell this was a lie by the way Dean didn’t quite meet his eyes. “Wouldn’t know what to do with a kid if I had one.”

“Do you think you’d be a good father?”

Castiel had met John Winchester, in Hell. Well, he hadn’t exactly met him. He had really only passed by John’s cell, stole a glance at the infamous hunter on his way to retrieve Dean’s soul. He’d never told Dean what he saw, they were not close enough at the time. He wasn’t sure if Dean would even want to know. Castiel had almost spoken about it many times, but whenever Dean talked about John, “Dad,” a look crossed over his face, sometimes for only a second. A furrowing of brows, a tight smile, a quick transition to happier subjects.

The same look crossed over Dean’s face as soon as Castiel had asked the question.

“Wow. Um, loaded question there, Cas.”

He waited for Dean to meet his eyes before continuing, “I think you would be.”

“Do- wait,” Dean shook his head, trying to understand where Castiel was going with all of this, “Do you want kids?”

“I want you to live a normal life, Dean. I want to be able to give you what you want.”

“Okay, lots of stuff to unpack here. First of all, a normal life isn’t and never was an option,” Dean leaned back against the counter, “I think we can agree on that. Second of all, you didn’t answer my question.”

“...And third of all?” Castiel prompted.

“No, second of all first. Do you want kids?”

Castiel sighed, taking a swig of his beer, considering his words. “I’m an angel, Dean-”

“Is that so!” Dean raised his eyebrows, then squinted as if in deep thought, “Weird, somehow I never noticed.”

That deserved a well-placed eyeroll, but Castiel still had a point to make. “We don’t- I’m just trying to…” he set his beer down. “I don’t know. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that I would love and care for a child, if it were ours. If we decided that was something we wanted, I would be so happy to raise them, with you. I’d be terrified,” Castiel admitted, “At the enormous and important responsibility, but I would love doing it, if… if it was with you. I just want you to know that, I guess,” Castiel shrugged, “I don’t want you to think it’s not an option for us, if you want it to be.”

“Okay…” Dean was thinking, swirling the beer around his glass. He pointed the mouth at Castiel, “You’re still avoiding my question,” Castiel really rolled his eyes this time, “But I don’t really think it’s for me, all that white picket fence stuff. If you really wanted a kid, I would definitely hit the library and read all those, I don’t know, fucking parenting guides, and take the Mommy and Me classes, whatever. And I think you’d be a good father, better than me, I’d just let them eat gummy worms and shoot slingshots.”

“Children love gummy worms. They listen and will behave better when offered gummy worms,” Castiel knew this for a fact from very recent personal experience, “I don’t see how gummy worms could pose an issue. Slingshots, however-”

“Okay so maybe I’m overestimating your abilities a little,” Dean held up a hand, “But still, I… I like this,” he gestured to the space between them and around them, “I like us. I like waking up to a clean kitchen and sleeping in on weekends. I like not having to ask more than one person whether or not I can take a drive by myself or crank my music really loud at midnight. And I fucking hate Paw Patrol.”

Castiel smiled.

“Sam and Eileen always need babysitters. That’s good enough for me right now.”

“You’ll tell me though, if this is something you really want,” Castiel insisted, “If you think about it and decide something else.”

“Sure.”

“Promise.”

“Okay, fine, I promise,” Dean took a step forward and leaned in for a kiss then. Castiel could taste the beer on Dean’s tongue and sighed. Dean smiled against Castiel’s lips, lowering his voice to a comical level, “We could, uh, you know, try and make some babies,” Dean waggled his eyebrows and Castiel pushed Dean’s laughing face away, but grabbed his hand, turning towards their room.

They hadn’t spoken about it again, not seriously anyway. They got a dog. Dean opened a vintage car garage. Castiel learned how to bake. They took long road trips to the beaches in California, wandered through roadside attractions like Carhenge in Nebraska and Cadillac Ranch in Texas. They bought decidedly way too much merchandise at Oklahoma’s National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum. And maybe they killed the occasional vampire, the wayward poltergeist, but the occasions became less and less. There were younger, more spry hunters on the road now, always welcome at the bunker to look through their library or ask advice on a particularly troublesome spirit. Sam even coerced Dean into holding what became a yearly “conference,” “What are we, a tech startup?” for the next generation of hunters to learn from the legendary brothers.

So maybe they spent more time at home than on the road, but home suited them. Routine suited them like Castiel never could have predicted it would. It wasn’t a white picket fence, but it wasn’t a lonely highway either. Dean would joke about how “boring” they’d become, but Castiel reveled in the repetition. The three hundredth time Dean brought Castiel coffee in bed was just as lovely as the third. The five hundredth time Castiel cooked dinner passed without fanfare, though Dean hugging him from behind, chin hooked over Castiel’s shoulder as he whisked, felt like fanfare enough. The one thousandth kiss they shared was in their bed, lazily breathing each other in as the first beams of sunlight shone through the window after a week of straight rain. Home, a thing he and Dean had never known in their youth, held the majority of their most precious, most banal memories. But still, Castiel always looked forward to those moments speeding down a desert highway when Dean would reach for his hand, turn his head to meet Castiel’s eyes, and smile.

Time took its time with them.

It seemed the opposite with Sam’s children, who grew up faster than Castiel could keep track of. And as they grew from waddling toddlers to full-fledged human beings, Castiel was fascinated, enamored, but Dean was simply proud. He attended their tournaments, their decathlons. He went to their graduations, weddings, barbecues, and Castiel went with him. They took the kids to concerts and movies, parks and shooting ranges, and Castiel never got tired of the smile on Dean’s face when they threw their small arms around Dean’s neck and called him their “Cool Uncle.” “Hear that, Cas? That means you’re the No Fun Uncle. The No-Funcle.”

And as the crowned Cool Uncle, he teased Sam mercilessly about his minivan and his “#1 Dad” mugs, but Castiel knew how proud Dean was of him too. How glad he was that Sam got the future he wanted, and how grateful he was that that future included him.

The brothers still fought. They still bickered, pranked, and glowered. Sam complained that Dean let his kids use power tools too young when they visited, and Dean complained that Sam’s kids were too old to have never heard “Stairway to Heaven.” The usual, the routine, many times over. But they never lied to each other, at least not about the important things, not anymore. And Castiel was welcome in Sam and Eileen’s house and lives, an honor he felt he didn’t deserve, but as Dean said, maybe it wasn’t about deserving.

It was Eileen who noticed Castiel first as he entered the hospital room the day he'd been informed that Sam Winchester was finally coming home. He didn't have to tell Eileen; she saw it on Castiel's face. They’d already spoken, he’d prepared her for the eventuality a few days prior. Eileen smiled, looking back at her husband, teasing him lightly, but Castiel knew she was holding back on her usual snark because Sam looked, well, tired. Turning away from Sam, Eileen signed, “Are you here for him?”

Castiel shook his head. “No, but someone will be here soon.” 

“You mean they haven’t given you reaper duty yet?” Sam joked from his horizontal position, speaking and signing with his usual quick wit, but not with his usual articulation. Castiel had seen him argue with Dean for fifty years like it was his job, he was accustomed to the precision with which Sam had always wielded his words. Not today.

“I don’t think I’d be very good at it,” Castiel stepped closer so that Sam wouldn’t have to crane his head, “I’m not very persuasive.”

“No kidding,” Sam shakily clasped Castiel’s hand and grinned. “I’m surprised Dean even went with you.”

“It took less persuading than you’d think.”

“How is he?” Eileen asked, but she was smiling, so she knew the answer.

“He’s good,” Castiel smiled back, “Getting what he deserves.”

Sam smirked, but his head sunk back into his pillow as if relieved. “And I bet he’s complaining about it non-stop. Asshole never knew how to take a vacation.”

“Neither do you,” Eileen levelled her husband with a fond look.

“We’ve taken vacations!”

“You always wanted to go somewhere exotic and then you’d just end up in the library. Remember Berlin?”

“They had… well I wasn’t going to find those editions in America, and-”

Sam and Eileen bickered for a bit, and Castiel did end up backing Eileen’s points more often than not, so eventually Sam recognized that he was outnumbered on this particular case.

Castiel bid his goodbyes just in time as the nurse entered the room to check Sam’s vitals. Her tone was cheerful, but Castiel could tell that she too knew what was coming. 

“Well… I’ll see you soon, buddy, huh?” Sam smiled at Castiel as confidently as he could muster for Eileen’s sake, but Castiel knew behind those laugh lines Sam wasn’t so sure of himself. Castiel supposed that worry wasn’t to be unexpected from a chosen one of Hell, Lucifer's vessel, the boy Castiel had once called an “abomination.”

But Castiel smiled, giving Sam’s shoulder one last firm squeeze. “You will.”

  When Dean died, at the ripe old age of 85, he knew what to expect.

He’d visited heaven before. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Not an exciting place, but exciting wasn’t necessarily good. Hell had been exciting, and he was in no hurry to return there. Purgatory had been exciting in a different way, years later he swore the stench still lingered on his skin. Sometimes, when he would lose himself in his “senior moments,” he thought he was back in that bloody in between. Or back in hell. Or had gone to heaven. “Times and places are difficult to navigate when your brain’s turning into gummy worms,” he told Cas once. He didn’t remember saying this a few hours later, but that didn’t make it any less true.

His brain was sure full of them gummy worms now as he clung to his body and to his life. He wasn’t completely sure where he was. Bobby’s? The bunker? His childhood home? Sammy had come to see him earlier, at least the kid had looked like Sammy… No, fuck, that was his grand-nephew, Cas had reminded him of that. Sam, his brother Sam, was in the next room. That's right, he’d told the asshole to give him some space, stop smothering him. He sort of wished he was here now though. And Cas, Cas was here, he knew that, but only because the angel was right in front of him. Cas, his friend, was holding Dean’s hand, talking about what their grand-nieces and nephews were doing in school. Dean could swear he already knew these things, but they still sounded new when Cas said them.

Dean looked over at him, and Cas was smiling.

He tried to speak, but the words stuck in his throat. Cas helped him swallow some cool water. Dean cleared his throat, “Bet you’ve been waiting for this for a while.”

Castiel cocked his head, the smile fading. Fifty some odd years and he still had that same confused look. “Waiting for what?”

“Me to beef it, finally. I know this hasn’t been easy, watching me… seeing me like…” Dean took a shallow breath. “No matter where I go next, at least I won’t be a senile senior citizen.”

“Dean,” Cas said, rubbing the back of Dean’s liver spot-covered hand, “Please listen to me very carefully.”

“Got my hearing aids in, go ahead,” Dean joked.

Cas smiled softly again. “It has been the greatest privilege of my life, my existence, to watch you grow old. I feel honored that you allowed me to experience that. Time’s different for me too,” Cas kissed Dean’s hand, “Space and time were never precious to me, not in the stretch of infinity. Not until you. Not until I was able to see you live your life and live it well.”

Tears welled in the corners of Dean’s eyes. He furiously tried to blink them away, but Cas was already there, dabbing carefully with a handkerchief. “I’m… I’m scared, Cas. I know I shouldn’t be, I’ve seen it all. I’ve beefed it a few times already. But maybe that’s why I’m scared? Because… I know what comes next. What could come next. And this is it, right? No more resets?”

Cas nodded.

Dean took a deep, shuddering breath. “If I don’t end up in heaven-”

“You will.”

“If I don’t, that’s fine, maybe it’s what I deserve, and that’s fair. But… will I see you again?”

“Dean,” Cas said sadly, but with his trademarked firmness, “You are going to paradise. And if for some reason, a completely incorrect and insane reason, you don’t? I dragged your soul out of the flames once, I will do it again. I would do it as many times as I needed to.”

Dean shook his head slightly, “Not fair.”

“It’s not about fair. It’s about the truth. Whether you believe it or not, ET goes home.”

Dean chuckled weakly. He was tired. He didn’t want to let go. He wanted to let go so badly.

He felt the bed move as Cas climbed under the covers with him. The angel curled around him, enveloping him. Dean could swear he felt the brush of feathers cradling him and pulling him closer, but he couldn’t muster the ability to reach for them, stroke them like he used to. “Sleep, Dean. I’ll be here when you wake up. Wherever, whenever here is. That’s where I’ll be. Wherever you go, I’ll go with you.”

“Swear?”

Castiel kissed his forehead. “I swear.”

  Dean opened his eyes.

The phrase, “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore” popped into his head, but he suspected, greatly, that he was, in fact, in Kansas. The blowing fields of wheat tipped him off to that.

No, wait. That wasn’t a field, it was a… sandy beach. It looked kind of like that beach he and Cas had stumbled upon driving down the Pacific Coast Highway, what was it called? The one where they’d had to hike down from the lookout point? The one where after they’d trudged back up the trail, they’d sat in the car and looked out over the sea as the sun set? The one where Castiel had smiled at him and the light glinted in his blue eyes and Dean had kissed Cas for the first time ever because he just couldn’t stop himself?

Muir Beach, Dean remembered, blushing at the memory. 

But just as soon as he’d reached the end of that thought, it wasn’t the ocean anymore. It was a lake. On the lake was a pier. He’d seen that pier before, couldn’t remember exactly where though.

Then without warning, but without alarm, Dean saw someone standing on the end of the dock. A young man with light brown hair and a sweet smile Dean would recognize anywhere.

Jack waved, walking up casually, “Hey, Dean.”

Dean grinned and pulled him into a solid hug. “Jack. I missed you buddy, how have you been? Where, uh… are we in…”

Jack chucked, “I think you know where we are.”

“Yeah, but I don’t know know, this could… I could be dreaming or some shit, and I guess even in a dream you could say whatever I wanted you to say, so-”

“Dean,” Jack stopped him, “This is heaven. You are in heaven.”

A relieved but small smile spread over Dean’s face. “Cool…” 

“I’m not usually here to meet people who pass on, but we weren’t going to miss your arrival.”

“We?”

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean turned around. There was Cas, beaming at him.

“Cas…” Dean reached to embrace him too, only now noticing that the hands that reached out were not as wrinkled as they’d been when he last saw them. He hugged Cas tightly, relieved more than he wanted to admit. “You’re here.”

“I’m here,” Cas’s hand went to Dean’s cheek, holding him in a kiss. They separated, foreheads resting against each other. Cas’s eyes twinkled, “We had an appointment.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean took a step back, seeing Jack grinning out of the corner of his eye. “Is, uh… is anyone else coming? Or is this the welcoming party?”

“They’re all waiting for you,” Cas put his hand down, and as he did, it was stopped mid-air, as if resting on something solid. Dean blinked, and there was Baby, new as the day she was made, parked on a long, long road that stretched far out of sight. “Any time you’re ready,” Cas tossed something in Dean’s direction, “we can go.”

Dean caught the keys on instinct, they jingled on the simple ring. 

Any time you’re ready, we can go.

He twirled them around the end of his finger a couple times, a thought itching at his brain. Or a couple dozen thoughts.

Cas gave him a look, then turned to Jack, “Could you give us a moment?”

“Yeah, I’ll go get everything ready,” Jack blipped out. 

“Get what ready?” Dean asked.

“Dean,” he turned around to face Cas whose brows were knit in worry, bright blue eyes narrowed, “Are you okay?” Dean realized he hadn’t seen Cas clearly for a few years, not since before the cataracts. He’d never gotten completely used to that piercing gaze. 

Dean blinked. “Yeah, I… I just… I’m here. Really here.”

“Yes, Dean.”

“And… you’re here.”

Cas gave him that look like he was being patient on purpose, “Yes, Dean.”

“And… fuck,” Dean stood at sudden attention, “I left Sam down there, is he okay?”

Catching Dean's hands in his own, Cas rubbed comforting circles into Dean's skin. "Sam is fine. He was there when you left. That's why I was a little late, Eileen had only just gotten home and I didn't want to leave before she could be there beside him.

"Okay," Dean took a deep breath, concentrating on the physical contact, grounding himself in Cas’s movements, "Okay. I mean I know he's gonna be fine, he was always fine without me," Dean said, almost to himself.

"And you'll see him soon."

The abrupt return of Dean’s panicked look made Cas smile a little, shake his head, "Not that soon, Dean. Don't worry." 

"Right. Of course, yeah,” Dean looked around, down the road, the back to his car, out past the waving grain that had returned inexplicably. “Well,” Dean flashed what he thought was a very convincing smile, letting Cas’s hands go as he tossed the keys once and caught them, heading towards the car, “Time to hit the road, huh?”

"Wait,” the suspicious squint was back as Cas caught Dean’s arm, “Something else is bothering you."

Dean turned around, and the ocean was back. The ocean he’d taken a trip to see, had selfishly insisted Cas come along for the ride for.

He sighed. "I just…” Dean ran a hand through his hair, “I don't know, I guess it just don't sit right that I’m… I'm gonna see Mom and Bobby and Jo and Charlie and… everyone. How am I going to look them in the face and not feel guilty that I got decades that they’ll never have? And what did I do with that time, sit on my ass? Judge local car shows? Go to freaking baseball games?"

Cas nodded slowly, simply listening. He then hopped up and sat on the hood of the Impala, shoes and all. Dean shot him an offended look.

“She’s a memory of a car, Dean,” Cas rolled his eyes, “She isn’t going to dent.” He patted the spot next to him.

Dean hesitated, but under Cas’s stare, relented. When he was settled, Castiel laced their fingers together.

“I’ve been trying to convince you for all the time I’ve known you that you’re worthy. That you deserved to be saved. That you deserved to rest.” Cas looked down at their entwined hands, “I don’t think I ever really succeeded.”

“Sorry,” Dean muttered.

“You don’t have to apologize. I know you’ve been doing a thankless job ever since you carried Sam out of your burning home. Shit, even before that,” Dean cocked his head, Cas hardly ever cursed, “you were always trying to be the hero for your mother. Some people are at fault for that,” Cas’s eyebrows furrowed briefly, “but it’s human nature to be hard on ourselves and praiseworthy of others. You, in your limited experience, could not possibly know all of the things that you’ve done that have made a difference. But we’re-”

Jack suddenly blipped into existence, giving Castiel two big thumbs up, then blipped out again.

Dean turned, looking from the space Jack had stood back to Cas then back again, “What-”

Cas shook his head with a smile, “I could never tell you exactly what you’ve meant to the world. But we had a, uh, few volunteers that wanted to show you.”

“Cas, could you quit monologuing for a second and-”

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean saw movement. The endless sea became endless plains which became endless trees, the landscape changing at a rapid rate.

Dean looked back to Cas in confusion, but he didn’t look alarmed. He gave Dean a timid smile, kissed him behind his ear, and whispered, “Just watch.”

Dean watched. For a moment, the scenery couldn’t seem to decide what it wanted to be. Then, it decided not to decide. Grains of sand took the form of towering trees, a picnic table, a bench. Green lake water formed the shape of a small boy, hunched over and scribbling on the table. Lastly the wheat twirled and spun and became an all-too-familiar-looking young man wearing a jacket too big for his frame, walking over to the bench and sitting down across from the kid.

Lucas. The name came to Dean from deep in his memory, he was that quiet kid who drew Dean pictures of the ghost in the lake. The grain animated Dean’s smile as he talked, the figure of Lucas showed Dean his sketches. Their forms dissolved as the scene changed and Dean's form was pulling Lucas out of the water, the sheriff having paid his due.

The figure of Dean left, but Lucas stayed and was joined by his mother, Dean remembered her too. They embraced, and the figure of Lucas grew, changed into a young man, a husband, a father. Soon a half dozen figures were standing there, waving to Dean, and then they disappeared, melting back into water. Lucas was the last to go as he was the first to arrive. He signed a phrase to Dean, and Dean knew the words: Thank you, Dean Winchester.

Then the sand reformed into a schoolgirl, the shapes in the green water plaguing her with images of mirrors and Bloody Marys until Dean stepped in front of her, holding a mirror of grain in front of the cruel, refracted specter. It dissolved, and Dean’s form bade goodbye, but the girl remained. She grew too just like the boy did, becoming a professor, graduating with honors, writing dozens of books, and changing dozens of lives. She smiled, and waved, and dissolved as well.

The shapeshifters appeared next, the sand in the form of Sam’s friend Zach, his sister Becky, and even Dean’s false shifter form, but the true form in the too-large jacket blew them all away, leaving Becky waving goodbye. She too welcomed a family that appeared by her side, and they all looked so happy and grateful to have each other.

Again and again the scenes changed. Green waters showed the cities he had passed through, the homes that were kept from destruction, entire communities that were healed. The water formed and reformed into smiling faces and waving hands. Some of the people, Dean had known on Earth. Many of the places, Dean had remembered driving through. Most of the people and places, however, were foreign to Dean. He lost count of the number of strangers who appeared, the cities he’d never been to. He struggled to keep track as they cycled faster and faster, as numerous as the grains of sand and droplets of water they were made of. It seemed that a whole generation of people, all over the world, would-be victims of an apocalypse they never even knew was happening, knew him. Through words and cheers and song, they retold the tales of Dean and Sam Winchester, the tales they had only learned once they had passed on. 

Throughout all of this, Cas pressed his shoulder to Dean’s, his presence grounding but not distracting. Dean’s grip on Cas’s hand grew tighter and tighter. Cas did not let go. 

Eventually, the images and figures departed. The sand blew away, the waters swirled and dispersed, and the landscape made its final decision. Only a simple field of golden wheat remained, waving and rippling in the wind.

Only in that newfound silence did Dean notice he was crying. He shook his head, wiping the tears away furiously.

“Dean,” Cas whispered, and Dean turned to face him, vision blurred, Cas looking at him pleadingly. “You sacrificed so much for so many for so long. You don’t have to be strong right now. You don’t have to be strong ever again if you don’t want to. You have done enough.”

Castiel wiped an errant tear from Dean’s cheek, holding his face between his hands firmly, tenderly.

“You are, and always were, enough. Your job is done. Let. Go.”

Dean did.

Cas silently pulled Dean into his shoulder as he sobbed. Dean didn’t even know why he was crying, didn’t know what for. Maybe he was happy. Maybe he was grieving. Maybe he just felt… relief. He wasn’t sure the last time he felt such relief. He wasn’t sure he ever had truly felt it.

After some time, longer than he’d like to admit, Dean sniffed, wiped one hand over his face, and raised his head. Cas was waiting for him, looking at him with care. With love.

“I, uh… I don’t gotta sign any autographs, do I?”

Cas smiled, and pulled Dean in for a kiss. They stayed like that for a bit on the hood of the car, feeling the breeze, breathing in the fresh air. Dean thought he could hear music coming from somewhere, realizing that it was the car’s radio playing softly from the cab. He knew that any time he wanted, he could hop down from the hood of his car, slide into the driver’s seat with the love of his life on the passenger’s side, and carry on his wayward way. Down the road, through the endless fields, towards the ones he had loved and lost. But not yet, not quite yet, because he had time. Maybe in the end, time was all he had ever really wanted, even if he could never allow himself to ask for it. 

Infinity stretched out in front of him like the fields of grain. It wasn’t an exciting infinity, but it was his. It was a long road, a family that waited for him, a shoulder to lean on. It was, at long last, a place to lay his weary head to rest.

[write-nerdy-to-me]

Corporate meddling often destroys the end product. It happens to shows, movies, games (Final Fantasy 15 was supposed to be much darker, Deadpool writer quit after producers started to limit him, Community writer quitting cause they wanted the show to appeal to a broader audience). I still think Dabb wanted to please the Fangasms and Superwikis, or he wouldn't have each character hear they're loved but Cas. Why do you think he was forced to write Dean telling Sam it's only ever been about them?

alright, anon. you’re right that all these other characters heard that they’re loved but cas didn’t. you know what else happened? dean never got to speak. it’s interesting, right? that their stories are interlinked in such a way? it’s almost as though there was something supposed to happen between these two characters with an unfinished narrative, fucking wild. it’s almost as though this is what the story was building up to, but something stopped that from happening -- rhymes with “cuck.”

“why do you think he was forced to write dean telling sam it’s only ever been about them?” because the show started out as just two bros in a car. that’s the way Chuck the Network Insert recognized it, that’s “what worked.” for a network patting itself on the back for queer rep, they sure fucking suck at providing, because they actually don’t give a shit. they don’t care about their legacy shows, they just want your money.

s15 is a whole dear sister letter, laying out why things went awry: there was an omniscient force controlling the board. god, i mean, 15x05 is a perfect example of the whole “just two bros” toxic narrative Chuck the Network Insert wanted with the two codependent werewolf brothers. it showed how he doesn’t get that the boys are different now, that that’s not the story we were being told anymore. but he didn’t care what the boys wanted, he wanted his version.

LILITH: God. I was supposed to get rescued and in a moment of sweet relief seduce Dean, blah blah blah, obviously that’s not happening now, so – oh, well.

SAM: So, Chuck sent you to kill us?

LILITH: No. I wish. That’s not how this story goes.

DEAN: Story?

LILITH: Oh, come on. You know how he is. All this? Personally, I thought the whole thing was kinda… easy. Stupid. But I batted my eyes and put Dean to sleep. Made sure you guys saw those two mutts go all murder-suicide. So, yeah.

--

DEAN: I don’t get it. Why the games?

LILITH: What? You didn’t like the part when you bonded with the victim? [LILITH pretends to be ASHLEY.] Wouldn’t it be great if everything was just planned out for you? [She laughs.]

DEAN: Let me guess, one of Chuck’s lines?

LILITH: Word for word. God… he is not exactly Shakespeare. He’s more of a low-rent Dean Koontz. I had to listen to his whole, quote “writing philosophy”. And his very weird, very pervy obsession with you. Then it always ends the same. One brother killing the other. I mean, this world… he could’ve ended it in so many ways, and… he likes that one. You know, I guess that’s why you had to see the werewolf brothers die the way they did, ‘cause… foreshadowing.

--

BECKY: No. You can’t.

CHUCK: I did.

BECKY: Y… this is just an ending.

CHUCK: Yeah. I don’t know how I’m gonna get there, but I know where I’m goin’.

BECKY: B-But it’s so…dark.

CHUCK: But great, right? I can see it now… “Supernatural: The End”. And the cover is just a gravestone that says “Winchester”. The fans are gonna love it. Well?

BECKY: It’s awful! Horrible. It’s hopeless.

[...]

BECKY: Please… you can’t do this.

CHUCK: Oh, Becky. I can do anything.

--

CHUCK: What part of omniscient do you people not understand? So I can't read my "Death Book." So what? I control space and time. Just plant a few visions, goad Death a little... Mess with a few outcomes... And... bada-bing! I mean... [laughing] They think they can kill me?

--

CHUCK: We came to an understanding, so spare me your contempt, Castiel, the self-hating angel of Thursday. You know what every other version of you did after "gripping him tight and raising him from perdition?" They did what they were told. But not you. Not the "one off the line with a crack in his chassis." All of you. You know, I tried and I tried and I tried, but you're all just too stupid, too stubborn. Too broken. You know what? I'm over it. I'm over you.

SAM: Yeah? Good.

DEAN: Screw you, Chuck.

CHUCK: No, screw you. You know what you do with broken toys? You throw them out. So, kill each other, don't kill each other... I don't care.

CAS: What do you mean?

CHUCK: I mean... have fun watching him die.

[doctorprofessorsong]

Hi. Umm this must be a stupid and unsettling question but I'm just gonna put it out there.

So Im a destiel shipper and I love reading fics. ok so, all this while TFW had been fighting for freedom and wanted to write their own stories and defeated god n everything. and in mid way of reading in dean's POV it struck me all of a sudden that dean wouldn't want me to know these things going on his mind. ok if you say dean and cas are fictional characters technically speaking and they can't possibly give consent, thats fine ig. but obviously I'm so attached to these characters and maybe I want to believe they're real. especially given how spn is a huge example of how a character can take control of the story being told. and ok yes, I know we as a fandom want to see our beloved characters happy. but what gives me the right to get into dean's mind? I'm dean coded so I always choose fics with his POV but I all of a sudden felt like a perv. Isn't freedom and privacy (from chuck/audience) what dean and the rest of the team fought for?? and we just continue toying with them just cause we recover slightly from cw's bullshit? Idk how this thought came to me after all this time but I do feel guilty to have been reading fics. anyway, is it just me or is this kind of feeling common? I enjoy fics too much I don't want to feel like this

Nonny, you are going through it, huh? I don't know how common/uncommon it is but certainly, many people in this fandom find a lot of self-recognition in these characters and that can be uncomfortable. Sometimes in great ways (the amount of times I have realized something I needed to work through in therapy because of a fic is slightly embarrassing) and sometimes in bad ways.

They are absolutely fictional characters and you shouldn't feel guilty. We tell stories for so many reasons. To understand. To find hope. To believe we can change things. To imagine a different world. There is nothing bad about getting insight into how people think Dean would feel or think. And if it helps, I think frequently what you are actually getting in a fic is a part of the author that they are sharing voluntarily. Certainly, my most beloved writing is often based on my experiences. On telling a story that I think matters.

As a concrete example, I wanted to tell a story in The Birds and the Ts about rebuilding after trauma. A recognition that the trauma isn't what makes you and love isn't what heals you. You rebuild with the help of those that love you. You get to decide how to remake yourself. So a lot of those thoughts the characters have and the choices they make? They are me telling myself and the reader it's okay to feel that way. You aren't alone and there is hope.

They are fictional, but I get the existential crisis. I do. In second grade I lived in fear that I was a character in a book or a dream. And I was terrified I would simply disappear when it ended. That feeling? I can say that feeling is common enough that more than one person has told me they also went through it.

But if it helps, even if they were real in a pocket universe living out these stories, you wouldn't be Chuck by reading about them. Maybe we are all Becky? Or Marie? Certainly, reading a fic is not manipulating time and space. And EVEN if they were real, Dean doesn’t seem to think about the readers of the series in the show. He doesn't seem uncomfortable around Marie, for instance. So even if you can't shake the existential fear that they are somehow real, I don't think you have to worry that the hypothetical Dean made reality would even think about or care about fic.

I would also consider whether you might be feeling exposed, and whether that is contributing to this feeling. Like some things are hitting close to home. That is an uncomfortable feeling. If that is part of it, consider what I said above. If it makes you feel vulnerable because you identify strongly with it, there's a better than 0 chance that it's because the author either speaks from experience or has looked at this character, seen this thing that makes you feel vulnerable, and loved him for it. So try to take heart in that.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

By Your Doorstep (Part 5)

Summary: Sam moves back to town and under Dean’s roof meanwhile the reader learns more about Dean’s hesitancy in certain areas of their relationship... 

Pairing: Doctor/Neighbor!Dean x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 4,800ish

Warnings: language, mention of accidents, PTSD, past sexual assault, injury

A/N: Parts of this series are told from two different POV’s. Dean’s POV are written from limited third person. Reader’s POV are second person (like a typical reader insert). Enjoy!…

_________

Reader’s POV

“Uh…” you said the next morning as you found a strange man in the kitchen. He spun around and you recognized the face. “Sam?”

“Y/N,” he smiled. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“You too,” you said. You walked over and he gave you a hug. “You get in town early for Thanksgiving?”

“Yeah, something like that. Dean said he might be out and to just let myself in,” he said. “Sorry, I thought I had the house to myself.”

“It’s fine,” you said, tugging Dean’s shirt down a little, grateful you at least had put a bralette on underneath. “He took my sister to an appointment. They should be back soon.”

“Cool,” he said as you went to make yourself a cup of coffee. “So um, I actually was going to surprise you guys today with some news. Well, you and Tessa.”

“What’s that?” you asked, grabbing your favorite mug.

“I’m moving back to Lawrence,” he said. 

“Really? That’s great. He misses you so much,” you said.

“Yeah. Got a job at the big firm downtown. McKluskey & Associates,” he said.

“I heard really good things about them, at least when I worked at Hawthorne I did.”

“Oh Hawthorne is the worst,” said Sam. “They dump paralegals all the time.”

“Yeah. I was one of them. But I’m doing really good at Dean’s office. I just finished my first certification so I get a little pay bump for that,” you said.

“Nice. I know he loves getting to pop in and see you during the day, even for a minute. You’re very cute in scrubs apparently,” chuckled Sam. “I actually was going to talk to you about this but um, I was going to see if I could move in here for a bit while I look for a place. Is that cool with you? It’s totally okay if you’re not. I get it if you and Dean want your own space.”

“I’d love for you to stay, Sam,” you said with a big smile. “I really would like to get to know Dean’s family, his real family.”

“I’d like to know his new family,” he said. You both turned when you heard the front door open, Tessa giggling.

“I don’t believe you old man.”

“I am thirty one you little shit,” laughed Dean. “I so have been skydiving!”

“He definitely has,” said Sam. Dean poked his head out from the foyer and gave you both a big smile. “Hey De.”

“Sammy! You managed to get those days off work early?” asked Dean. He slipped out of his boots and jacket, quickly walking into the kitchen with a bag in his hands. He set it down on the counter and gave his brother a hug, Sam shrugging. “What?”

“Got that new job. Starts next month. I was wondering if I might still be able to crash here with-”

“Of course,” said Dean, quickly looking at you.

“I already told him it was cool,” you said, Tessa slowly walking inside. She set her starbucks cup down on the counter and got out her breakfast burrito. “Tessa this is Sam. You’ve said hi to him once or twice on the phone.”

“Hi,” she said quietly, looking at Dean.

“Sammy would you mind giving us a real quick second alone?” asked Dean.

“No problem,” he said. He excused himself to the bathroom and you got out your breakfast from the bag, Dean giving Tessa a nod. “Go ahead.”

“I want to see a different therapist,” she said. You sat back and looked at Dean. “If that’s okay.”

“What happened today? I know Dean sat in on your session.”

“I didn’t particularly like some of the comments the doctor made,” said Dean. “Tessa’s eighteen, not five. I think she should start going to a doctor for adults. Tessa’s not been happy with him for awhile she mentioned. I have a colleague from my med school days that specializes in young adults.”

“Tessa why didn’t you tell me you don’t like the doctor.”

“Because you say I have to go no matter what,” she shrugged. “I know there were only a few that we could get covered too.”

“I have a new health plan and we’re definitely going to switch you over to somebody different,” you said.

“Dr. Ketch is good. I used to use him when I was around here,” said Sam, walking back inside. “I was gonna call him up myself, try to get a spot in again.”

“I was thinking of Arthur for Tessa actually,” said Dean.

“Why do you go to therapy?” she asked Sam.

“Lots of reasons,” he said. “Pretty sure everyone in this house has so no need to by shy about it.”

“I’ll call Arthur,” said Dean to you. “It’ll be better for her Y/N.”

“You’re the doctor,” you said. You unwrapped your food and started to eat, Dean digging into his own meal while Sam sucked on some kind of green smoothie.

“Are you like a health freak?” said Tessa with a mouthful of food. Sam sipped some more and shrugged. “Good. He won’t touch my ice cream.”

“Oh I love ice cream,” smirked Sam. “I wouldn’t count on it being safe around me.”

“Are you teasing me?” she asked.

“Am I?” said Sam, slurping his smoothie again. Dean rolled his eyes and whacked the back of Sam’s head. “Ow.”

“She’s tougher than you, Sammy. I’m sure you two will harass each other to death,” said Dean while he ate.

“Mhm,” he hummed as Toast ran in through the doggie door. “You have a dog!”

“Yeah. This is Toast,” said Tessa. She leaned down and unclipped his vest, Toast rushing over and sniffing Sam. “That’s Sam. Don’t let him eat my ice cream.”

Toast barked and Sam looked at her.

“His vest isn’t on. You can pet him,” she said. 

Ten minutes later Sam was in the backyard with Toast and Tessa, tossing around a ball and smiling like a little kid.

“Well we won’t have to worry about those two getting along I don’t think,” said Dean as you watched out the back window.

“I wasn’t too concerned. I know her sessions are private but what exactly happened today.”

“We talked a bit about how she feels about me being a part of your lives. She does like me, she cares about me even. But she’s still getting to used to sharing you with someone else. Tessa’s doing fine aside from an uptick in nightmares recently. Her doctor was very negative though. He doesn’t help her reframe things. I’m not a therapist but even I can do a much better job than he was. We talked after on the way to get breakfast and I think it’d be better for her to go to someone that helps her progress more, handle things on her own in healthy ways. Tell me to shove it if I crossed a line but it’s my honest opinion.”

“If Tessa thinks she wants to try a new doctor then I am all for it,” you said. “I’m glad you went with her after last night and everything.”

“She’s your sister...but…”

“I know. You watch her back and I’ll watch Sam’s?” you said. He smiled and nodded. “So I was thinking...you know how we were talking about that taking care of you thing last night?”

“Yes?” he said. “What’d you have in mind?”

“I was wondering if I couldn’t give you a little spa night tonight. A nice bath, massage, a fresh pie…”

“Mmm, that does sound nice,” he said. “But that sounds a bit extravagant.”

“Trust me?” you said. He threw his head back but sighed. “Good boy. You’ll love it. I promise.”

“How was your bath?” you asked that night, Dean’s skin all warm and soft as he laid on his belly in a pair of black boxer briefs in the bedroom.

“Nice. My skin feels all smooth. I should use the tub more often,” he hummed. 

“You definitely should. I’m gonna give you a back massage now, okay? I’m gonna use a bit of some special lotion with oil in it,” you said. 

“Go for it,” he said into his pillow. You straddled his back and squirted some lotion onto your hands, rubbing it in a bit before you put your hands on his back. You worked him slowly for a few minutes, Dean’s muscles tensed more than you realized. After a while he loosened up and you slid your hands to his lower back, Dean tensing once again. 

“You okay? I didn’t hurt anything?” you asked.

“I’m okay. Just don’t take off my underwear,” he said.

“I’m not going to. I’m almost done and then I’ll get your feet,” you said. You leaned forward and kissed his cheek, Dean closing his eyes. He was still for the most part, his feet not too bad and his back was all dry by the time you told him he could roll over. He didn’t move though and you figured he was comfortable where he was.

You washed up your hands in the bathroom, whistling as you came out, the bedroom empty.

“Dean…” you said, the back door open. You stepped outside, Dean standing by the railing and looking at the backyard. “Dean it’s cold out.”

“I need a minute,” he said. You went inside, taking a seat on the bed, Dean coming inside a few moments later. He wouldn’t look in your direction and you took his hand when he crawled back on the bed. “Thank you for the massage. It felt very nice.”

“You’re welcome.”

He moved his hand away and you looked across the room. 

Only to have a pair of boxer briefs be dropped in your lap. You turned your head and Dean was laying back on the bed, naked, his face red. 

“Dean, what-”

“I’m not going to get over this if I don’t try and I don’t want to be scared of you so...there,” he said. You smiled and laid back, bringing your head over close to his. 

“Want me to get naked too?” you asked.

“No. I uh, think he’ll get excited down there and I’m not...ready for that,” he said.

“Okay,” you said, cuddling as close as you dared. You laid an arm over his waist and he eased, his fingers toying with your hair. “Proud of you.”

“You don’t even know what happened.”

“No but somebody hurt you so I know this is hard for you and I’m proud of you for facing your fears.”

“It’s not as bad as you think,” he said. “It was just...judgement free zone?”

“Always,” you said.

“I got stupid. I’d had a little too much. I let...I let the chick I was with tie my hands together, to the headboard at the motel we’d stumbled into. I shouldn’t have done that with a stranger. It was fun at first and everything and then I mentioned...fuck it, I said sometimes I like when a girl sticks a finger up there, like the tip when I’m getting a blowjob and it can feel good, you know?”

“I’ve met guys that like that. Nothing wrong with that,” you said, kissing his arm. He took a deep breath and shut his eyes.

“I told her a tip of a finger. At most.”

“What happened?”

“She stuck a whole lot more than a tip in. Without prep. She didn’t care that I told her to stop. She did what she wanted after that and I was so freaked out and it hurt that I just...laid there until she was done and untied me and I never saw her again.”

“She assaulted you.”

“I did ask her to do it.”

“You asked for a tip of a finger, not whatever she did not to mention you said to stop. I don’t blame you one bit for being scared Dean.”

“I’m not scared of you,” he said. You leaned over and kissed his cheek, nuzzling his shoulder. “I’m just not ready for somebody else to touch me like that yet.”

“That is so okay,” you said. “I got you a little present.”

“I don’t need presents,” he said.

“I think you’ll like it. Stay right there,” he said. You got up and walked over to the closet, slipping inside and pulling out a bag. You carried it out to the bedroom, Dean sitting up on the bed.

“I hope you like it,” you said. You gave him the bag and he unwrapped it, smiling as he took out the new onesie and nice boxer briefs. “They’re supposed to be really soft and comfortable.”

“I love it, Y/N,” he said. “I’m gonna wear this thing like all day tomorrow.”

He took out the boxer briefs and tugged them on, smiling to himself.

“Oh wow, these are great. They’re so soft and comfy,” he said. He ran his hand over his thighs and nodded. “I know I’m okay with you. Give me a little more time is all.”

“Take all the time in the world. I don’t like you cause I want to have sex with you. I mean I do want to but it’s not why I want you,” you said as you sat back down.

“Why do you like me?” he asked. You shrugged and he tucked your hair behind your ear. “Cause I helped you guys out?”

“Because you’re kind...and you understand not being ready to be a parent...and you make me smile for the first time in two years. I missed being happy.”

“Me too,” he said. “I am very much down for a cuddle though.”

“That I can certainly do, Winchester.”

“Tessa…” you said as she was pulling on her boots by the front door the next afternoon. “Did you finish your history paper?”

“Yes,” she groaned. She put on her jacket and grabbed her purse. “Can I go? Hailey’s waiting.”

“Home by seven at the latest,” you said. “You have school in the morning.”

“I know,” she said, hooking up Toast into his vest and leash. “Later!”

“Have fun,” you said. She waved and took off with Toast, nearly knocking Sam off his feet as he came inside. “Careful, Tess.”

“Sorry, Sam,” she said, taking off with Toast outside. 

“No problem,” he said. You sighed and he chuckled, kicking off his sneakers. “That Tessa’s friend? Expensive car for a high schooler.”

“Hailey’s dad owns a string of car dealerships. Plus her mom’s a doctor so they’re kinda rolling in it,” you said.

“True. I’m in the market for something new myself. You’ll have to give me the name,” said Sam, padding into the kitchen for a drink.

“Anytime. We always got a friends and family discount. Maybe we can sneak that in for you,” you said. “By the way, what happened to Dean? I thought he was working out with you in the garage.”

“I think I went a little too hard for him,” chuckled Sam. “He was laying on the floor last I checked.”

“Try not to kill my boyfriend, Sam,” you said with a smile.

“I’ll do my best,” he said. “I was gonna apartment hunt this afternoon if you’re interested.”

“Why don’t you stay here a little longer?” you asked. “If you want.”

“I don’t want to get in your and Dean’s way. You moved in not long ago yourself. I’m sure you guys want your space.”

“We have a barely eighteen year old living with us that’s gonna be here for a long time. Space isn’t really an issue,” you said. “And that was...we needed to get out of our old house. You’re so not in the way.”

“I’ll hold off for a bit then,” said Sam with a nod. You smiled and went out to the garage, Dean laying on the floor with his eyes shut.

“You alive there?” you said as you squatted down and poked him.

“I am never, never, never, working out with that psychopath again,” he said. He peeled open an eye and you ruffled his sweaty hair. 

“Well I think Sam’s gonna stay here for awhile so you may have to suffer some more,” you said. 

“Really? Good. I’d like him to stay. I think he was concerned about getting in your guys way though.”

“We can share,” you said, wiping your wet hand on his shirt. “Plus you’re extra hot all sweaty like that.”

“Am I now?” he smirked.

“Yes. Sweat is how you cool off so you must be extra hot. I thought you were a doctor, Dean,” you teased. He rolled his eyes and ran his hand over his face, wiping it on your arm. “Gross!”

“If I had the energy I’d give you a noogie,” he said. He sat up and leaned forward, stretching himself out. “I didn’t realize I was out of shape.”

“You’re really not. Sam’s a skinny little rail and all muscle that’s into running and that high intensity stuff. I bet you can bench press more than Sam any day,” you said. 

“Yeah but he’s still pretty healthy. I am a doctor. I ought to practice what I preach.”

“Dean. You’re healthy and hot. I mean, work out with Sam if you want but don’t cause you think you have to, you know?”

“I know,” he said.

“Why don’t you do yoga with me tomorrow?” you asked. “It’s more fun than you think.”

“Sure,” he said as you helped him sit up. “I was thinking maybe once I’m not all sweaty I could…”

You both turned your heads as you heard a dog howling loudly. Your stomach dropped as Dean quickly got to his feet. He walked out of the garage and to the end of the driveway before he took off running.

“Call an ambulance!” he shouted back. You ran inside and looked for your phone, Sam watching you run around.

“Are you-”

“Sam give me your phone!” you shouted back. He took his from his pocket and tossed it at you, before you were rushing out to the garage. You jogged outside and to the end of the driveway, Sam already running down the street along with a few other people that were outside to the two cars that were smashed together a few blocks down.

You sprinted down, the voice on the other end of the phone saying help was already on the way.

“Tessa,” you said as you got up to the accident, Dean sitting with her and Hailey on the side of the road. She was crying hard, Dean holding onto her but he gave you a smile. 

“She’s okay. Few bumps,” he said. You became aware of the dog whimpering and turned around, Sam helping get Toast out of the backseat. He was hurt, badly from the looks of it. “Y/N. Take Tessa and I’d call Hailey’s parents too. Tell the paramedics and any doctors she sees about the previous accident, medications, the seizures, all of that, okay?”

“Okay,” you said as you sat and he stood. “Where-”

“I got my own patient,” he said as he took off his shirt. He tossed it to Sam who started using it to put pressure on one of Toast’s injuries. “Sammy, I’ll grab the car.”

The guys headed back towards home, Tessa burrowing her face in your shoulder.

“Toast is gonna die,” she said, wrapping her arms around you. 

“Sh,” you said, holding her close. “The boys are gonna do their best to get him help, okay? Don’t worry about it. Hailey, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she said, holding her wrist with her other hand. “It wasn’t my fault, I swear, Y/N.”

“That’s debatable,” mumbled Tessa. You hugged her and glanced over to the man sitting on the other side of the street, some people over with him.

“It’s okay. We’ll make sure you guys are okay and everything, I promise.”

Dean’s POV

“How’s he doing?” asked Dean as they got stuck in traffic. Toast was still howling and whimpering in Sam’s arms in the backseat when Dean checked his mirrors. “Fuck it.”

“Dean,” said Sam as Dean pulled onto the shoulder and drove up to the light, taking a right on the red and speeding down the road. 

“It’s fine. Vet is right around the corner.”

Two Hours Later

“Mr. Winchester,” said the nurse, popping into the waiting room. Dean and Sam both got up and followed him through a pair of doors into the back of the office where a doctor in scrubs was walking out of another room.

“We can’t save the leg,” said the doctor. “It’s shattered, muscle’s been shredded, veins are-”

“Is Toast gonna live though?” asked Dean.

“He should. He is banged up pretty good but no signs of major damage aside from his leg. We’ll amputate and get him on meds. If he does well he can go home tomorrow.”

“That’s great,” said Sam.

“You want to go through with the amputation then?” they asked.

“Of course,” said Dean. 

“The bill is going to be around four thousand for the procedure,” the doctor said. She waited and Dean stared at her, blinking slowly.

“I don’t care how much money it is. Fix my dog,” said Dean. The doctor went back inside while Dean got a bill for the service, Sam pursing his lips when Dean returned.

“Y/N’s gonna want to pay that.”

“Y/N ain’t gonna know about it,” said Dean, shoving his wallet back into his pocket.

“Dean.”

“Her sister was just in another car accident, Sam. She’s freaking the fuck out right now I’m sure. Besides, Toast is a living creature. He’s their family and he’s starting to be mine too. Can you imagine if I had to ask my patient’s families if they wanted to go through with life saving treatment cause it’s expensive? I put it on an installment plan. I won’t even notice.”

“Does Y/N’s insurance cover it?”

“Not something like this. If it was your dog I’d be doing the same thing,” said Dean. “Toast is gonna be alright and that’s all that matters so don’t say a word about this to either one of them.”

“Can he still help Tessa? With a leg gone?”

“I don’t know if he’ll meet the legal requirements of a service dog or not after this but that dog loves her. He’s still gonna watch her back, maybe a bit slower now is all. Y/N and Tessa are gonna have to decide if they want to get another one or not. She’s been going close to a year with no seizures though.”

“That’s really good, isn’t it?” asked Sam.

“Yeah. It doesn’t mean she won’t ever have one again but it means she’s doing good. Toast could probably handle things fine on his own, depends on what they’re comfortable with.”

“That kid’s pretty tough.”

“I know she is. She reminds me of you a lot.”

“Y/N reminds me of you. Except nicer,” chuckled Sam.

“I wasn’t your maid. You could pick up after yourself,” said Dean, leaning back in his chair. “They’re miles ahead of where we were.”

“She know we knew her dad?”

“Yeah. She knows he helped but not the extent of things.”

“Ever think it’s funny, you ending up with the her of all people?”

“No actually. Our families seem to fit together is all,” said Dean.

“I can second that,” said Sam, Dean’s stomach rumbling. “I’m gonna go grab some food for us. Call if anything happens.”

“Will do, Sammy.”

Reader’s POV

“Hey,” you said later that night, the guys returning home. Tessa popped up from the couch, rushing over. She teared up when she saw no Toast and Dean shushed her.

“There’s good and bad news. Good news, Toast is gonna pull through,” he said. She sniffled and looked to Sam then back at him. “Bad news...he lost a leg. He won’t be able to be a true service dog anymore.”

“I don’t care. Where is he? When can I-”

“He’s recovering from his surgery. The vet said it’d be a few days before he can come home. Tomorrow night at the earliest,” said Sam. “Maybe we can see him tomorrow after school?”

“Tessa’s staying home tomorrow but we’ll definitely get you over to see him,” you said. 

“Good. You need to stay home and rest, Tess,” said Dean.

“The hospital didn’t even take me. I got a few bruises,” she said. Dean crossed his arms and Tessa rolled her eyes. “I wanna go see Toast.”

“Toast is resting and I don’t speak dog but you are the most important thing in his life and I know he wants you to rest too,” said Dean.

“But I’m fine.”

“Come here,” he said. He grabbed her arm and ducked outside, talking to her on the front porch as Sam ran his hand through his hair.

“Which leg?” you asked. “Toast.”

“His front left one. He’s got some stitches on his body. He’ll be okay.”

“She still needs a service dog,” you said. 

“We’ll deal with it tomorrow. I’ll keep an close eye on her until we figure something out,” said Sam.

“Don’t know what we’d do without you boys,” you said. You shut your eyes and he gave you a hug. The door opened, Dean and Tessa returning inside. You glanced over to him but he just smiled. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just had a little talk,” said Dean. “Now off to bed and turn off your alarm. No school tomorrow, okay?”

“Night,” she said. She jogged upstairs and you heard her door shut softly, Dean taking a deep breath. He took a seat on the couch and closed his eyes.

“She alright?” you asked, taking a seat next to him.

“Yeah. I just...put things in a different perspective for her. Your perspective. She’s gonna go a little slower for the next few weeks. Toast is gonna need her to look out for him until he gets used to things.”

“I know she didn’t have a concussion or anything and it’s been a while since she’s had a seizure,” you said. He smiled as Sam went to the kitchen, returning with three beers. “Thanks.”

“No problem. They wouldn’t have let you guys come home if she wasn’t cool, right?” asked Sam.

“Let’s just watch her carefully for the time being. She might not need a service dog but she’s only going to get more independent and a year from now she’ll be in college and she’s gonna be on her own more. I told her she’s gotta think about that,” said Dean. 

“Is that boyfriend Dean or doctor Dean talking?” you asked.

“It’s I care about my girlfriend’s little sister Dean,” he said. “Trust me. If I had doubts, I’d be calling for her to get a service dog lined up tonight. I think it’s a peace of mind thing right now. She can change her mind later if she wants.”

“It’d give me peace of mind,” you said.

“Yeah but take it from someone who was the younger sibling, let her choose if she wants it or not,” said Sam.

“Alright. Maybe...maybe Toast can get a prosthetic and still go places with her at least,” you said. “Or maybe he’ll be okay on just the three legs. Just slower.”

“I think she’s much more open to that,” said Dean. You nodded and sipped your beer, taking a deep breath. He threw his arm over your shoulder and tucked you into his side, kissing the top of your head. “She’s a tough kid and Toast is a tough dog. They’ll be okay.”

“She deserves a break,” you said. 

“You both do. It’ll turn out alright, sweetheart. I promise.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 6 here!