#I mean I know I didn’t cheat and kept my eyes on my computer and won’t be doing anything that’ll flag me

[galariangengar]

I am doing horribly mentally tonight and my jaw hurts 😢

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Salvia Splendens Means Forever Mine - Part 1

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

WC: 8.5k

TW: Guns, S2 E14/15 ie Revelations (lmao sorry gang), guns, police (acab), torture, character death, mentions of death, dead bodies, rabid dogs, loooots of bible talk, mentions of kissing, brief reminiscing of potentially more sticks to canon pretty closely meaning if you have issues with the Episode Revelations, then this might not be for you, neediness, crying, lack of crying, internalized emotions, mentions of cheating, mentions of past relationship trauma

A/N: So I'm pretty sure this reads as gn! Reid does quote a proverb that references women, but that's because the bible wasn't big on inclusivity when it came to shaming people who enjoyed sex...anywho! I love any and all feedback! Enjoy!

You, Emily, Hotch, Derek, Gideon and the Sheriff sat around the computer, staring at a woman tied up in a barn, in her slip dress, mouth duct taped over. A figure, who had hidden his face, was reading out a passage of the bible. Your eyes were glued to the screen. 

A portion of Jezebel shall dogs eat the flesh of.

“No. no.” You turned around, not wanting to watch what was happening on the screen, just hearing it was almost too much. 

“Jezebel’s Death.” muttered Gideon, his voice filled with solemnity. 

“My god.” Emily turned away from the screen, copying your actions. 

Finally, Hotch told Emily to turn it off, but not before the Sheriff jumped up. “Wait.” 

You all looked at him, confusion written all over everyone’s faces. 

“You hadn’t seen enough.” Derek quipped. 

“Those dogs. Those three dogs attacked someone a couple of months ago. I would’ve had them impounded but the victim knew the owner.” The sheriff was sure about it, more sure about this than anything he had seen in his life. “A neighbor, he didn’t want to press charges.” 

Gideon stared at him. “You sure?”

“As god as my witness.”  The sheriff scrambled for his notebook, flipping to find something. “Three mangy mixes, I knew those dogs looked sick. I called in animal control, but I don’t know if they ever followed up on it.” 

“Here it is.” He looked up from the page.

“You have the owner’s name?” Hotch leaned over glancing into the notebook. 

“Hankel.”

Your eyes went wide. “Hankel?”

“Tobias Hankel.” 

“That’s where Reid and JJ are.” You looked over at Hotch, who watched several waves of emotion fly over your face, trying to control all of them. He nodded and looked at everyone. “Alright let’s go.”

The sheriff yelled out for people to grab their gear while you asked Hotch for a second outside. He nodded and followed you outside to the parking lot. It was cold out, only because of the night breeze, allowing yourself to enjoy the lack of sun and heat. 

Hotch was the only person who actually knew about you and Spencer’s relationship, not because you didn’t trust the team, but because the less people that knew about it, the better. You had watched agents lose their loved ones over and over, being used as pawns against one another, and you were terrified of that happening. The team knew you two really liked each other, and you would hope that it showed since you had been dating for almost a year. 

You were the team's newest addition, right after Elle, younger than Spencer by a year, but still boasting your own PhD. The two of you clicked right away. And to a room of profilers, it was obvious that you two would work perfectly together, and you did. 

So when you started dating a couple months later, you had kept it a secret, just to test things out, not make it public before you were sure. But then the whole “Fisher King” incident happened, and then Elle disappeared, which meant Emily had just joined, causing there to be really no time to just drop another bombshell on a team.

You didn’t mind though. It meant that despite the teasing, you got reassurance that Spencer absolutely had a crush on you, regardless of relationship status. Morgan teasing him over glancing at you one to many times had definitely boosted your ego a bit, but a little confidence never hurt anyone.

You looked up at Hotch, really trying not to freak out, counting your inhales and exhales, timing them so your heart wouldn’t give out. “Hotch if they aren’t…” 

“I know.”

“I’m not asking you to promise me that everything is okay and he’s going to be fine, because we honestly have no reason to believe anything is wrong in the first place, but I–I just need to know that whatever might go down, I’ll have your support because…” 

He nodded and put a hand on your arm, giving it a squeeze. “I know. I’m going to give you another minute out here, but then we need to go.” He went back inside, letting you close your eyes, breathing in the air, letting the coolness still your chest. 

It was hard to only have Hotch know at times like these, or at least confirm his suspicions. You had been alone for about thirty seconds when Derek came out to greet you, bringing you your vest. 

“Stressed out there Girl Genius?” 

You nodded and accepted the vest, sliding it on, remaining silent. 

“Hey.” You looked up at Derek who held his arms out, and you gratefully accepted the invitation. “Everything’s going to be okay. Maybe he’ll finally admit that he loves you if something bad happens.” 

His joke landed but not in the way Derek thought. You scoffed. Derek sighed and pulled away a bit. “He really does like you Y/N, you just have to be patient with him.” You almost felt bad for not telling Derek the scoff was because you already had told one another, quite recently actually. 

“Maybe Derek. Maybe. But for now, I want to make sure they’re both okay, and I’d rather it be sooner than later.” 

The police pulled up to the Tobias household, sirens wailing, lights flashing around. You jumped out the car, gun in your holster, following Derek and Emily. 

The sheriff stopped Morgan and told him about the barn in the back, and the three of you moved to the back of the house. You took out your gun and slowly followed behind Morgan and Prentiss, watching the door of the barn swing back and forth slightly in the wind. 

Derek clicked on the flashlight, and you two did the same, following behind him as he took the lead into the barm. You shined a light through the empty stalls, rocking back and forth between each side, looking for any sign of  either Spencer or JJ.

Emily’s light landed on one of the dogs, dead—shot. You swung your light the opposite way, finding another dog. Just then Derek took a step back, having found the mattress in which the remains of that poor woman was, or at least all of her blood soaked through the entire fabric of the mattress. You immediately turned away, not being able to look at it. You had a very strong stomach, unusually strong since you worked with the FBI and had seen plenty of inhumane things no human should be capable of, but something about this particular scene was unbearable to look at. 

“Damn.” Derek whispered before you all whipped around when you heard someone scream “F.BI.”.

JJ. Her hair was matted, eyes wide, chest heaving. She was shaking, eyes running between the people standing in front of her. 

“JJ!” Derek yelled her name as everyone had swiveled around to her, all twisting your aim to JJ. . 

“Don't. Move.” 

“JJ it’s us–Morgan. Prentiss. Y/L/N. Don’t Shoot, it’s okay” He slowly moved towards her, trying to calm her down, get her to put down her weapon. “Don’t shoot. It’s okay. Are you hurt?”

She lowered her gun, eyes quickly moving from each of you, you could watch as her mind tried to calm down, letting the adrenaline dissipate. You approached her, getting close, trying not to startle her. 

“It-Tobias Hankel is the unsub.” She let out, eyes still quickly scanning around her, almost searching for something. 

“We know.” Emily exhaled, as she placed a hand gently on JJ’s arm. The sheriff leaned over and informed Derek that they were going to call an ambulance for JJ. 

“W-W-We just thought he was a witness…” JJ holstered her gun before watching as Morgan looked around as the dead dogs surrounded all four of you.  

“I had to kill them.” Her eyes had glossed over. 

“JJ, where’s Reid?” Derek spoke, looking at her expectantly, but eyes filled with worry. 

“They just completely tore her apart. There’s nothing even left–” 

“JJ. Look at me.” You grabbed her hand, causing her to look up at you. “Look at me. Where’s Reid.” 

“We–We split up, he told me he was going to go around back.” JJ started to panic again, realizing he wasn’t with you. You also started to tremble, pulling your hand away slightly, exiting the barn before you could hear another word, gun drawn. 

You could hear as Morgan followed you, almost running to the back of the barn. You stopped once you turned the corner, slowly creeping forward, eyes scanning across the corn, but also listening in for potentially any sound coming from behind the barn. You saw some trampled stalks, and turned to look at Derek. 

“He followed him into the field Derek.” 

Derek saw your thought process, and the conclusion you reached as you reached it, which was a matter of seconds. As you went to dash into the field, following the very faint trail, Derek grabbed your arm and stood his ground, meaning you fought against him, and he struggled a bit, but ultimately won. “If you think for one second I am about to let you go into that field, you’re crazy.”

“Dere–”

“That’s clearly a sign that someone got dragged. He’s not in there.” 

You huffed, biting your lip. You were trying so hard not to break in front of Derek, but every second you thought about what Tobias Hankel had been doing to people, meshed with every other second you thought about that happening to Reid, it was a miracle you could still even listen to Derek. 

“Go inside with Hotch.” 

You nodded slightly, holstering your gun, and running your hands down your face. “You’re not going to leave me alone until you watch me walk away from the cornfield.” You grumbled out, looking up at him. 

“Yeah.” He sighed and pulled you into a quick hug. “Look. I don’t know what has actually occurred between you and Boy Genius, but you charging off into a field we know he probably isn’t in, won’t help us find him. I’m going to talk to Prentiss and JJ.” 

You nodded and pulled away, running your hands through your hair, quickly walking towards the house as Derek moved towards the ambulance, not fully taking his eyes off of you. He was curious as to what the team didn’t know about you two, but pushed it aside since clearly pestering you about it wasn’t going to help any of you find Reid. 

The next morning, You had not slept, and were only slightly avoiding JJ, basically walking laps around the outside of the house, trying to let your brain get some oxygen and calm down. Or, you would be standing around a table with the team, sitting in front of the computers, and your leg would bounce, you would tap your hands against your arm, anything to keep yourself from breaking down. 

Obviously the team all picked up on it. It’s not even like they were microexpressions, you were just visibly anxious.  All your brain could think about were flashes of Spencer, and whether or not he was still alive, completely unaware of his whereabouts since the lead from last night turned out to be a dead end. Hankel was smart, which made you nervous. 

You were currently walking around the living room, wearing a circle into the rug, which was barely holding it together, reading Tobais’s diaries, trying to find anything. You heard JJ welcome in Garcia, and you paused to look up at Garcia with a brief smile on your face before continuing. Once they got her set up, Hotch tilted his head, requesting you come a bit closer so you all could talk. 

“So, I’m guessing nothing new since I left.” He started. 

“Not but,” Emily started. “The good thing is this guy documented everything second of his life. The bad news is we’re still unpiling.”

“From the looks of it, he hasn't left this place in years.” JJ sighed and stared down at all of the notebooks and papers strewn across the table. 

“He knew he could pretend to be looking for a motel and throw us off his trail.” Emily looked up at Hotch, but Gideon interrupted. 

“No no no, it’s more than that. Sheriff’s office, 911 calls. Every time he engages the police and gets away with it, he reassures himself. God’s on his side not ours.” 

You just walked into the kitchen and lightly dropped the notebook you had been reading onto the table, brushing past Hotch. “I need some air.” You mumbled to him, shoving the rickety screen door open and quickly hustling down the steps. 

You ran your hands through your hair, trying to breathe, trying to fight the urge to burst into tears and let yourself just lay on the ground. The only reason you hadn’t done so yet was because the urge to find Spencer was so much stronger. 

After a moment, you heard the screen door open and someone come down the steps. “Emily I’m fi–”

“Y/N,” 

You looked up and made eye contact with JJ. Her hair was flatter, less knots, but you could still see she had been shaken up. It didn’t matter. You were trying, desperately trying to not blame JJ for Reid’s disappearance, and you knew she was struggling with it too, but the fact that they weren’t together meant that he got dragged off somewhere, technically on her watch. 

“JJ now’s no–”

“Please let me—”

“JJ.” You cut her off, arms crossed over your chest. You were only truly able to make eye contact with her for a couple seconds before you had to avert your eyes upwards. “Seriously. I’m fine. Go back inside.” 

Your voice was curt, and running along the line of unkindness, but you were restraining yourself, trying to give your coworker, your friend, someone who had become your family, an out in this moment, but she just wouldn’t take it. 

“You won't even look at me!” That got your attention back to her. “You haven’t spoken to me since the barn, and you’re avoiding me. I-I know what we did wasn’t…” 

You huffed, now only staring at her, challenging her. “I’m listening now, JJ. That’s what you wanted right.” 

She closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I know you blame me. I blame myself. But I can’t stand you being so distant and I–”

“Look. JJ.” You cut her off again. “I am doing everything in my power not to scream at the top of my lungs how stupid it was, for the both of you to split up.” Your voice was low, and steady—it was unnerving to hear since you had always spoken with such character, such lightness. “But right now, I can’t yell at Spencer. And I really do not want to yell at you. I think it is one of the stupidest decisions either of you could have made. But blaming you for a decision you both made, doesn’t help us find him any sooner. So please. Just leave me alone right now.”

You brushed past her, not making any actual contact with her, since the next person who touched you might actually be the reason you start sobbing. JJ was absolutely shocked, frozen in the yard, trying not to cry herself. You didn’t want JJ to cry, you really didn’t, but she was pushing on something that is usually completely surrounded by walls and locks and gates. 

You blinked away your tears and walked back into the house, towards the kitchen. Hotch and EMily looked up at you, both noticing JJ wasn’t next to you, and your face somehow managed to seem more frustrated and anxious than before. 

Spencer had bought you a necklace for your one year anniversary. It was a very simple chain, with a small pendant on the front. Inside it was a pressed flower, a small, pressed, red salvia in the center of the clear pendant. You loved flowers, it was very obvious from the way that you always had a small vase of a few fresh flowers in the corner of your desk, or you had a signature pair of floral converse you always wore when you went out. It took Spencer all of three seconds to figure out that you loved flowers, and all of one question later to find out if you knew, and liked, Victorian Flower language; of course you did. When you two had started secretly seeing one another, you had been updating the flowers weekly. It was a part of your regular schedule, so no one questioned it. But suddenly you were becoming deliberate in your mini bouquets, hints of longing (pink camellias), with pops of devotion (heliotrope), or secret adoration (gardenias) sprinkled with I think of you (blue salvia), eventually turning to bouquets of ever-lasting love (baby’s breath) and sunshine in his smile (yellow tulips). Every time you would update the weekly bouquet, the team would comment on how the new bouquet looked so beautiful, the colors brightening up the place. But when Spencer walked through the door, you loved watching his eyes immediately dart for the flowers, decoding the message for only him. The red salvia  on your chest was proudly proclaiming forever mine, for Spencer, and no one was the wiser.  

When you wore it happily the day after your anniversary, exchanging the previous bouquet for a new one filled with yellow lilies, Spencer cou;d’ve known right then and there that you were over the moon, if you hadn’t already told him, and shown him, the night before. When Derek watched you fiddle with the necklace all day, he had made a joke that clearly you have someone in your life and “Pretty Boy needs to step up his game”, he had misread your slight smirk as a tease on Spencer, and not on himself. It was not a month later that you were fiddling with it in Tobias Hankel’s kitchen, your biggest tell of all, that you were nervous about something. But to most of the profilers in the room, you were nervous and fiddling with your necklace, to Hotch, it was a clear sign that he needed to keep you at a slight distance to make sure your head stays clear. If any of them had been thinking clearly, they might have made the connection from the necklace to Reid, but no one really was. 

JJ followed a minute later, and quietly went back to her seat. It was clear she had been crying, or trying not to, but so were you, so it honestly didn’t make you feel as bad as it probably should have. 

“Hey guys.” Emily’s voice cut through your thoughts. “I have got a list of Narcotics Anonymous meetings. Someone’s name and number is written on it, but it looks to be about twelve years old.” 

“Try it. There are no bad leads.” Gideon answered. 

You sighed, but watched curiously as Gideon stared at the wallpaper. He peeled off a section of it, revealing what seemed to be the same phrase over and over and over again. 

“Honora Partum Tuum.” He read aloud. 

“Honor thy father.” You finally spoke up. For much of the team, it was the first time they had heard your voice in hours. 

Gideon looked over at you, realizing in his eyes, nodding. 

“Hey guys. I think I got something.” You heard Derek yell, which meant all of you rushed out of the house, running over towards Derek. He had his gun out, pushing hay off of doors to what seemed like a storm cellar. 

Derek pulled open one of the doors, shining his light into the darkness. “Tobias Hankel, F.B.I!” Hotch gave him the go ahead to slowly move down the stairs, then allowing Emily to follow. Hotch then gave you a small look, giving you the impression that you would not be allowed down into that cellar until it was cleared. You stood back slightly, not having the energy to have a bout in front of the others, still holding your gun, and scanning the surrounding area, keeping an eye particularly on the barn and the fields behind it. 

You heard Derek yell out “Tobias Hankel” a couple of times, making your pulse beat faster–maybe they had found him, maybe he was okay. There was no other sound than Derek though. Maybe he was dead. Maybe someone else had spencer. Maybe—Derek came out of the storm cellar, covering his mouth. 

You looked at him expectantly and shook his head. “Tobias’s father…on ice.” 

You exhaled, a wave of emotions crashing through your veins that only left you more stressed than before. 

Hotch came out of the cellar next, and motioned for you to follow him. You knew this conversation was coming, and the fact that it hadn't happened already surprised you. 

Once the two of you were out of earshot, Hotch looked at you, not as a friend, not as someone who helped you through some dark moments in your life, but as your boss. “Can you continue, or do you need to sit the rest of this case out.” 

His tone wasn’t harsh, quite the opposite. He watched as someone he cared for was slowly crumbling, closing off her walls to the outside, meaning you were more in your own head, than truly present. 

You nodded, sighing. “If I’m not here, then I might go out there on my own. I’m not telling you that you’re babysitting me.” Hotch tried to cut you off, but you barrelled through. “But I need to be here, because if a breakthrough happens, if any of us find a location, I need to be in that car Hotch. If we find Hankel, I have a full understanding that however I react is the fate of my job. I am well aware of that. And I love this team with basically everything I have, so I need you to trust me, the way I am trusting all of you to find him.”

Hotch watched you for a moment before nodding. His features softened and he placed his hand on your arm again. It was the most contact Hotch ever really gave, but it meant so much. “Are you okay?” 

You shook your head, managing to keep it together. “No. I’d be more concerned if I was.” You tried to crack a joke, causing both of you to smile before he nodded at you. “I’ll see you in there.” 

He left you standing by yourself, giving you a moment to collect yourself, before you followed him back into the house, back into the kitchen, back into the journals. 

Spencer being gone for so long meant you had a laundry list of things you missed about him. You missed the way he would ramble on about anything in the world that he knew about. You missed his sweater vests, how they never seemed to match his outfit, but somehow always pulled the look together. You missed his dorky smile at you from across his desk. You missed the notes he would leave you in your apartment when he would get up to get to work, knowing you always had arrived before him at work since you lived closer. You missed the feeling of his hands in yours. The feeling of the hand on your back, on your shoulder. 

But right now, you missed how fast that son of a bitch could read. Oh my god. If you had to read through one more of Tobias’ notebooks, you might lose your mind. You placed it facedown on the table and placed your head in your hands, giving your eyes a well deserved break. 

After a moment, Derek spoke up. “There’s something weird going on here.” He was slowly pacing around the table. 

“You think?” quipped the sheriff from across the room, and you snorted slightly in agreement and amusement. 

“No seriously, check this out.” Derek looked up at everyone in the kitchen. “This journal is full of religious ramblings. He notates hour by hour. November 15th, 3:17 – if ye offer a sacrifice of peace offering unto the lord, ye shall offer it of your own will. And it goes on and on. 5:04, 7:41, 10:22, 1:42, but then it goes blank for days.”

You removed your face from your hands, looking over at Derek. 

“Maybe he got sick of writing.” The sheriff offered up. 

“I think I got it.” 

“What is it?” Gideon prodded Hotch, all of you watching him. 

“Journal entry, December 6th, Father sick. Wants me to put him down. I say thou shalt not kill, he says honor thy father. Must pray for guidance.” Hotch looked over at Gideon. 

“So he kills his father as an act of mercy?” 

“This is two months ago. Tobias Hankel’s father had been dead for four months already.” Hotch raised his eyebrows, Gideon and Derek starting to realize what he was getting at. 

“That’s exactly it.” Derek moved one of the chairs away from the table. “Look at the floor. These scuff marks are fresh. I mean, it’s like two people were moving the chairs constantly trying to fight for control.” 

“So?”

“This journal matches Charles Hankel’s handwriting, but it was written after he died. Upstairs, Tobias’ bedroom—it’s got junk piled from floor to ceiling but the other bedroom could pass a military inspection.” Derek was explaining to the Sheriff, who honestly was starting to get on your nerves with some of these questions. 

“So you’re telling me one of Tobias’ personalities was his father?” 

“Well, Tobias was raised with a strict religious code. Black and white, right and wrong.” Gideon interrupted. “When his father asked Tobias to kill him, something had to give.” 

“His brain couldn’t handle the moral contradiction so it split into two personalities in order to keep his father alive.” Hotch looked over at Derek, a conversation between the two of them happening silently and quickly. 

“So who is Raphael?” 

“My guess, he’s the mediator between the two.” You spoke up, watching hotch and derek before looking back at the sheriff. 

“Angels have no human emotions.” Gideon continued your thoughts. “Live or die, they don’t care. As long as it’s God’s will.”

“We need to start profiling Tobias’ father. He may be the one who chose where to take Reid.” Hotch quickly looked at you before looking at Derek. 

Derek nodded and started to head out of the room. “I’ll get Garcia on it”. 

“Any luck with the rehab contact?” You looked up as Emily and JJ walked in, hoping they would have some answer for you. 

Emily sighed. “Well he has no idea where Hankel might be, but we did learn that he has a serious drug problem. Dilaudid.”

“Well that could explain the psychotic fracture.” Hotch nodded over at Gideon. 

“What are you talking about?”

Gideon, who had been staring at the photos all along the mirror that they had taped up, looked over at JJ. “Tobias is living as at least three different people; himself, Raphael, and his father.”

“Well this could be some bad news.” 

Honestly, to you, it felt like all the sheriff did was bring more and more bad news. 

“A computer store was robbed in the middle of the night. A suburb outside of Atlanta Thief got away with four laptops, external hard drives, and a satellite.”

“If it’s Tobias that puts him right back in business.” Hotch cast a quick glance over at you, watching as you tensed up, knowing the images you were desperately trying to keep out of your head. In response, you stood up and left the room, heading over to Derek and Penelope in the next room. 

Penelope was sitting at the desk, typing and typing away. Derek looked up as you entered, giving you a small smile. You shook your head. “They think Tobias stole—” Just as you started, your mouth stopped. The screens in front of Penelope had changed, going blank with one cursor in the corner. 

“What happened?” 

“I don’t know.” Penelope’s eyes were wide. 

Spencer filled up every single screen, except for Penelope's laptop, and the one screen she was directly connected to. 

“Oh my god.” You yelled, one hand flying to cover up your mouth, the other immediately grabbing your necklace, eyes flitting from screen to screen. This wasn’t real, it wasn’t happening–it couldn’t be happening. 

Spencer was tied to a chair, his clothes disheveled, his hair a mess, he was missing both shoes and one sock. The left side of his head was soaked with blood, hair wet with it. 

This was your worst nightmare, and yet you could not look away. You watched as his chest rose and fell, giving you at least the calm that he was alive. But tears still pricked the corners of your eyes, breathing was becoming harder and harder, but you couldn’t shut down. Your body wouldn’t let you. 

Your yell had the others almost run into the room you were in, all of them barreling into the room, filling it up with bodies. Once they all looked at you, each one slowly realized what you were staring at. 

“He’s been beaten.” Emily so astutely pointed out. 

“Can’t you track him.” JJ was also struggling to breathe, guilt consuming her entire body. 

“Hankel’s only streaming this to his home computer.” Garcia said solemnly, still doing her best to find something, anything. 

Hotch turned to look at your face. At this point, most of the blood had left your face, leaving you pale, and nauseous. He tried to calmly gestured for you to leave, giving you an out, but you stared straight ahead, somehow becoming more pale, more sick, when Gideon pointed it out for you all. 

“This is for us. He knows we’re here.” 

Derek huffed and turned away for a second, trying not to bash the wall in. “I’m gonna put this guy’s head on a stick.” 

“Why can’t you locate him?” You could kiss Hotch for staying so level headed in this moment. Your eyes quickly tore away from the screens, looking at Garcia. 

“He’s rerouting to a different I.P. address every thirty seconds. I can’t track him.” 

Can you really see inside men’s minds?

All of you quickly found a screen to watch as you heard the voice take over. 

See these vermin? Choose one to die.

All you could do was stare at his face–his eyes. You had never seen Spencer so vulnerable, so tired, barely fighting at all. You watched as his eyes scanned across something to his right. All of you held your breath, waiting for Spencer to say something, anything. 

You choose one to live. 

“Oh my god.” You mumbled again as Spencer shook his head slightly, defying Tobias, or whoever’s wishes. 

I thought you wanted to be some kind of savior. 

“You’re a sadist in a psychotic break. You won’t stop killing. Your words aren’t true.” 

The other heathens are watching. Choose a sinner to die, and I’ll say the name and address of the person to be saved. 

“I won't choose who gets slaughtered and have you leave their remains behind like a poacher.” Spencer was staring into his eyes, challenging him. But Tobias, or Charles, picked him up by the collar, both hands, and brought his face really close to Spencer's. 

Can you really see inside my mind boy. Can you see I'm not a liar. He chucked Spencer back into the chair, causing Spencer to flinch from another bruise you probably couldn't see. Choose one to die, and save a life. Otherwise they’re all dead. 

“All right. I’ll choose who lives.” You inhaled sharply, Derek tensing up next to you. 

They’re all the same. 

You all waited, in silence, as Spencer scanned what you assumed were the laptops that had been stolen. His eyes flickered to the camcorder, shame in voice, looking back at Tobias or Charles. “Far right screen.”

Marilyn David, 4913 Walnut Creek Road

“You got that?” 

“Marilyn David. My name is Jason Gideon with the F.B.I. I need you to close your laptop screen right now. Someone has been connecting into your laptop’s camera and watching you. For your safety, you need to close it. 

“Raphael.” 

The computer screens went black. 

“Garcia, get him back.” 

Derek turned away, slamming the door against the wall as he stalked out of the room, beyond pissed. 

“Garcia, get him back.” You repeated, absolute horror dawning on all of your faces. Your eyes were frantically running over every screen every ten seconds, hoping that maybe one of them would still hold the image of Spencer. 

“I’m t-trying.” She whispered, furiously typing away, trying to hack into something, or find Hankel, anything really. 

“So now what. Wait for a 911 call?” The sheriff's voice rang out in your ear, and it grated against you. “And hope we get there in time.” 

Once you had gotten the 911 call, you, JJ, Emily, and Derek were told to stay at the house with Garcia. You heard Derek and JJ in one of the other rooms, but you were just standing next to Garcia’s chair, not moving an inch. All you could do was stare at the screens, eyes flitting from face to face on unexpecting potential victims. 

JJ walked in, looking more like she had in the barn–disheveled, guilty. “Any more signs of Reid.” 

Both you and Garcia shook your heads. 

“He just posted the last murder online.” Garcia’s voice was grave, eyes dark. “It had over 17,000 hits in the first twenty minutes.” 

“I want to see it.” 

“No you don’t.” You answered JJ, not turning to look at her. 

“Don’t tell me what I want and don’t want.” 

You tore your eyes away from the screens and over at JJ. 

“If I can’t watch this…I have no business being in the field.” 

“J-ge, it’s not a competition.” Garcia whispered. 

“I-I need to see it.” 

You shook your head and walked out of the room, not being able to watch it again. You walked into the kitchen where Derek and Emily were, discussing something. Derek’s eyes quickly flicked over to you, surprised slightly by the fact that you had left the screens. 

“We can trace their whole family history. Here we got happy smiling pictures of Tobias. Report cards all A’s and B’s. But at eight years old, we got nothing.” 

“That’s his mother leaving.” Emily shot you a quick, yet sympathetic smile, before looking back at the mirror. “Six months later, on the other side of the board, we have a form from child services saying they paid a visit.”

“Then Charles starts keeping journals about punishing sinners and needing to remove the devil from his son.” Derek continued. 

“Which corresponds to Tobias’ drug use. He’s trying to escape.” You watched as Emily and Derek worked through the profile again. 

“So wherever Reid is, It was Tobias’ choice, not his fathers.” Derek sighed and scanned over the pictures, trying to find maybe a common location amongst them. 

“How’d you figure?”

“Look at these two lives. They’re like inverse graphs. One’s getting weaker while the other ones getting angrier. Tobias would run away while his father would have stood and fought.” Derek looked back at Emily. 

She nodded. “Okay so Tobias uses drugs as an escape. I’ll go back through the journals and see if I can find anything connecting his drug use to a hiding place 

“Uh where’s Gideon.” You finally spoke up. 

“He’s upstairs. Why? What’s going on?” 

“Hankel just posted the latest murder.” JJ walked out of the room that you had just been in. 

You watched as she quickly called out to Gideon that the newest murder had been uploaded, and as he quickly made his way into the adjoining room. You heard him panicking, trying to come up with a solution to get people to stop watching the videos. 

You were fiddling with your necklace, mind lost on the day before all of this started. It had been sunny in DC. Something you didn’t get all the time, especially when you were only there half of the year. You had gone over to Spencer's apartment, picking up your favorite take out on the way over. He had been teaching you how to play chess. You already knew the basics of chess, which pieces moved where, and how to analyze a board on a move to move basis, but Spencer started to teach you strategies. He would explain every single move he was making, and how he was able to predict a check in three. It was adorable. In return, for every game you would learn together, Spencer would watch a movie with you. He would watch movies if you had asked him in the first place, but this time, you gave him what he thought was the most enthralling commentary the entire time. You would put on your favorite movies and ramble on and on about a certain actor getting sick during this shot, or the fact that the two romantic leads hated one another, or even someone breaking their toe during one scene—he adored listening to you ramble, in the same way you loved listening to him. That night was movie night. You had picked cult-classic “Rocky Horror Picture Show.” you were absolutely enthralled to explain to Spencer the interactive portions of the movies, the screaming at the screen, the details of the pink triangle on Dr. Franknfurter’s smock, the repetition of certain musical themes. You two hands ended up tangled on the couch, giggling about something, drunk on each other’s company—it was perfect. 

But the sound of Spencer’s sob ripped through your thoughts. It took you three strides to be back with Garcia and Gideon, watching as Tobias slammed his fist across Spencer’s face. Your hands moved to your mouth as your eyes watered. 

You heard as he begged Tobias to help him, bruises flowering across his face, a cut across his lip breaking the once smooth skin. 

He can’t help you. He’s weak. Confess. Confess your sins. 

You watched as Spencer’s chair was chucked to the ground, while he was still tied to it. Every single atom of air had left your lungs. You could feel the pit of your stomach drop, unable to move, unable to blink. Tears welled up in your eyes as the love of your life was being beaten to death, and you couldn't do anything about it. 

Several studies have shown that plants can feel pain. Whether or not they are completely and one hundred percent credible is something you and Spencer have jokingly argued about multiple times. You liked to think that they didn’t considering you managed to bring in a fresh crop of newly cut flowers each week. But these scientists claim that plants can feel pain. They can feel the pain of being cut from the vine or stem, and they can feel themselves dying as you watch them wilt in the vase. You and JJ were quite similar in feeling like you had to prove something to yourself, that if you couldn’t handle what was happening, maybe you shouldn’t be in the field, shouldn’t be in the BAU. 

Watching Spencer have a seizure on the ground, unable to run to him, unable to save him, unable to do anything but just watch in horror, made you feel every single ounce of pain you could have ever imagined. When his body stilled, and Tobias exited whatever building they were in, you were still standing there, completely and utterly in shock. Hotch took your arm and wordlessly tugged on your arm, but you couldn’t move. Your feet were cemented to the floor. Even if you wanted to run the other way, you couldn’t. Hotch tried again, but you just stared at the screen, constantly flipping the necklace over and over and over and over again. If you moved, you might start sobbing, you might collapse, you might have just died on the spot. 

Spencer's lips were still. His lips would ramble when he had something he found quite interesting to speak about, they would fidget when he got nervous, they would form quirky expressions when he had a moment of realization. But not once have they ever been this still. And it was dissolving your heart. Moment by moment another small section would boil down to dust, not even letting you have the chance to have your heart ripped out, because that would mean your heart would still be together, still be beating, just not with you anymore. Your heart was dying because Spencer was dead. 

The first stage of grief is denial. All you could do was hope, pray, anything that this was some sick and twisted joke, that Spencer was okay. That Spencer was alive. That you weren’t staring at Spencer’s body on the screen, not knowing where he was, and if you would ever find him, or his body. 

Lucky for every single person in that room, and lucky for Tobias Hankel, you watched as he burst back through the door, dropped down to his knees, and tried to resuscitate Spencer. Your eyes widened as you watched every single chest compression, every single moment of mouth to mouth. After the longest thirty seconds of your life, Spencer convulsed, air filling his lungs, coughing. 

“Oh my god.” You almost threw up into the hands that were covering your mouth because you were so grateful for the fact that Spencer was breathing, that his dead body was somewhere you might never have found it. 

“Wait. Wait a second.” Emily leaned over to Garcia. “When was the video of the last murder poster?” 

“9:23.” 

“And what was the time of death?” 

“The 911 call came in at 9:04, and the murders must have been moments later.”

“That's only a 19 minute difference.” You spoke up, figuring out what Emily was getting at. 

“How long would it take to post the mpeg.” Derek chimed in. 

“2, 3 minutes.” Garcia looked over at you all. 

“Lets call it 2. You figure a maximum of sixty miles per hour in a residential area, that means Hankel has to be within a seventeen mile radius of the crime scene.” Derek reasoned, looking over at Hotch. 

“Garcia, can we see it on a map?” Hotch leaned over Garcia. 

“Call Farraday. I want that area locked down like it’s martial law.” Gideon turned to Derek, ready to give more instructions but you interrupted. 

“Guys.” 

You came back to life. 

Spencer was looking up at Rapheal now. The complete shift in tone from Charles to Raphael to Tobias always made your hair stand on edge, but you could hear the anger that Raphael held. 

There can only be one of two reasons. 

“I was given CPR.” Even after he was just given his life back, he still managed to crack a joke.  

There are no accidents. How many members are on your team? 

“Seven”

You paused, ready to speak up, but Tobias beat you to it. 

The seven angels who had the seven trumpets who prepared themselves to sound. The first sounding followed hail and fire, mixed with blood and they were thrown to the earth. 

“He thinks it’s revelations. The seven archangels versus the seven angels of death.” Hotch explained.

“Hotch there are eight of us on this team.” You spoke, this time garnering the attention of everyone in the room. “He’s lying to Hankel, that's considered a sin right? If Hankel finds out—”

You were interrupted by the sound of a chair hitting the ground. Hankel had yanked Spencer’s chair upright, watching as he was jostled around. 

Tell me who you serve.

“I serve you”

Then choose one to die

“What”

Your team members choose one to die. 

“Kill me” 

You inhaled sharply causing one of Derek's hands to find the small of your back. You had already watched him die once, but you can’t give CPR to a bullet through the brain.

You said you weren't one of them

“I lied”

Your team has six other members. Tell me who dies. 

“No”

All of you watch as Tobias pulls one bullet out of his pocket, and clicks open the revolver. He placed it in, and spun the barrel, letting it close with a click. Spencer playing Russian roulette was not on your bucket list of things to do this year. Maybe force him to go kayaking with you, let him teach you some other game like Go, maybe even take a few days off for a real vacation and work each other up so desperately. But you could guarantee, this was not on that list. 

Each time Spencer refused, and you heard the empty barrel fire, your heart gave out, again. 

Choose, and prove you’ll do god's will. 

“No.”

Click.

And again.

Choose. 

“I won’t do it”. 

Click. 

And again.

Life is a choice. 

“No.”

Click. 

And again.

Choose. 

Spencer’s pause made everyone hold their breaths. He had a 33.33% chance of getting shot, and luck had to run out, it always did. 

“I-I choose…” You all waited, no one truly knowing what he could possibly be thinking. “Y/N Y/L/N.” Derek's hand on your back tensed up, all eyes looked at you, and all you could do was stare at Spencer on the screen. He wouldn’t just hand out your death sentence like that, he wouldn’t do that to you. Right? Right?

“Adulterer, cheating on my for months now. Puts their own needs above others and their feelings.” Your brows furrowed, hand immediately at the necklace you were wearing around your neck. This accusation confused the absolute shit out of you, since you had revealed to Spencer your history with a previous partner who had chea–oh. He was speaking to you. 

“Oh my god.” You whispered. 

“I would come home to bouquets of crimson roses and rosemary, or there would be begonias and clematis. I've only ever bought red salvias with baby’s breath—their favorite.” Spencer chuckled, putting on an act for Tobias. 

“Pen! I need a pen.” You yelled, everyone now concerned you had lost your mind, but Garcia had quickly handed you hers as you tried to write down the flowers Spencer had listed off. Once you had all of them written down, you quickly ran out of the room.

“Genesis 23:4, For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword.”

You only paused for a moment when you heard a gunshot, but you kept going, hoping and praying that you were right. You had found one of the empty pages of Tobais’ journals and wrote down the flowers:

crimson roses - mourning rosemary - remembrance clematis - poverty begonias - beware, watch out

You looked at the list of the flowers, over and over. “Mourning…” You mumbled, when it hit you. Quickly, you grabbed the bible on the table, flipping to find Genesis 23:4. 

Morgan walked into the room, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Look I don't know about this potential relationship that you and Spenc-"

“I’m not a cheater.” You cast him a quick look, still flipping to find the page. 

Derek started. “He’s not in his right mind Y/n.” 

Gideon quickly followed. “Come on, look you can’t think anything of that..” 

“That’s not what I’m talking about. Well, yes, it is, but that’s not–”

Hotch cut you off. “He’s panickin—”

“Everyone. Stop.” They all obliged, watching as you picked up the notebook you had been writing in. “What is my worst quality?”

They all just stared at you.

“Okay I’ll start, I can be a total bitch.” 

“You miss a concerning amount of briefings.” 

“You can get overly emotional sometimes.”

“You’re extremely stubborn.” 

“You don’t trust anyone easily.” 

“Okay good, I’m all these things, but none of you said that I would ever put my needs over anyone. Especially over other’s feelings. Reid and I had a conversation about two weeks ago about my ex who would repeatedly cheat on me, among other things.” You took a little breath before continuing. “And he knew I would obviously remember a conversation like that. He also knows I love Victorian Flower Language, it’s one of my favorite interests. Some of the flowers he listed off,  correspond to flowers you send in mourning, when someone has died, not the flowers you send someone to admit their love or hide it.” 

You handed the bible to JJ. “And he also quoted Genesis Chapter 23, verse 4, Read it.”

JJ read out: “I am a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you, that I might bury my dead out of sight.”

“Spencer would never get it wrong unless it was on purpose. He’s in a cemetery.” 

“I don’t see a cemetery” Garcia had pulled up the 17-mile radius again, looking between you and Hotch. 

“Call up the first time we saw Reid.” Gideon was rubbing his hands together, trying to remember something. 

“I won't choose who gets slaughtered, and have you leave their remains behind like a poacher.” 

Spencer had looked right at the camera, fucking brilliant man. He had been trying to contact you all since the first time he was on camera.

“Check to see if there are any reports of poaching in the last couple of days.” Hotch nodded at Gideon while Garcia speedily typed out her parameters, getting a response almost instantly. 

“Okay uh, a farmer reported two sheep being slaughtered on his property.”

“Where are we talking?” Derek was behind you, watching as Garcia zoomed into a five mile radius around the farmer’s land. 

“It would be someone that was old, dilapidated, run down. Clematis is a sign of poverty.”

JJ pointed to a small section on the screen. “What’s that patch of green there”

“Marshall parish, I think it's an old plantation.” 

“Wait.” Emily quickly flipped through a journal, trying to find what she had remembered. “Tobias wrote in his journals about staying clean and keeping away from Marshall.”

“Guys. There's a cemetery on the grounds.” 

“Alright.” Hotch nodded at all of you. “Let's go.” 

As you all headed out, Hotch stopped you, pulling you past the kitchen and into the living room. Derek shot you a sympathetic smile as he and the rest of the team exited the building. The living room would be far enough away from Penelope's prying ears, but it’s not like it mattered anymore—it was pretty obvious you and Spencer were sleeping together, if not dating. 

“You’re not going.” 

You scoffed at Hotch, expecting nothing less, but still willing to fight him about it. 

“I’m serious Y/N. I need everyone out there to be as level headed as possible, and you and I both know that the second Spencer put his life on the line, second time round, you were about to raise hell and earth to get to him. If you can promise me, right here, right now, that your head is completely clear, then I will let you go with us, no questions asked.” 

You pinched your eyes, letting out a hefty sigh. “Hotch I cannot be here in case he needs me.” 

“If he gets hurt, you will not be able to function as an agent, and that is a risk I am not willing to take.” 

Hotch is right. He almost always is.

The porch door swung open with the loudest screech yet, Derek appearing in his bullet proof vest, holding Hotch’s in his hand. “We’re heading out.” 

Hotch nodded at you, a brief hand on your arm, before walking to the door. 

“Hotch?” 

He looked over at you. 

“The last flower? Begonias?” He nodded at you, not sure where you were going with this. 

“If you were sent begonias…it was a subtle warning that you were in danger. Please, be careful.” 

“We will.” 

And with that, the door slammed shut, and suddenly you were stuck in a ranch house, wondering whether or not Spencer was okay, and whether or not your team would even make it on time. You clutched at the necklace, twirling the pendant, watching as the headlights faded into the darkness, with the very real possibility, someone might not come back. 

Next Part

[skyewritesstuff]

cruel summer (kenny's version)

my masterlist.

entry 4 in my (taylor’s version) songfic series.

summary: a detailed account of your summer fling with kenny mccormick.

pairing: kenny mccormick x reader (college!au kinda)

fandom: south park

warnings:  implied nsfw. substance use (alc/weed/nic). language. vomiting.

notes: based on cruel summer by taylor swift. this was not beta read. we die like kenny.

word count: 7.9k

It all started and ended in Kenny McCormick’s rundown, single cab pickup truck. It was summer time and Kenny’s main friend group had all separated for this one lone week despite everyone being home from college. Stan was still on the outskirts of town at Tegridy Farms. Eric had been dragged out of state to visit family. Kyle was in Denver doing a week-long intensive course. 

Kenny was in community college, about to wrap up an associates in computer sciences, a few classes short of graduation. He was also working full-time at the local Best Buy doing tech support, but somehow he’d managed to have three days off in a row towards the end of the week. However, this had to be the worst time for him to have next-to-nothing to do.

You were in Marjorine’s bathroom, standing over her as she sat on the toilet, pink dye that was scented like lemon drop candy was coating the ends of her naturally blonde hair when your phone rang.

“Marj, can you see who that is and let me decide whether or not I”m gonna get you to answer that?”

The blonde girl laughed, “Sure thing!”

She grabbed your phone and looked at the screen, “It’s Kenny!”

“Kenny McCormick?” 

You said that like there was any other Kenny in your hometown. There was no confusion in your question, though, just a slight bit of disbelief. You’d had feelings for Kenny since high school that’d been a long-kept secret for various reasons. First, you thought Marjorine liked him, but apparently not. In reality, Marjorine is just a helpless romantic who has a slight attraction to all of her friends, you included. Then, he ended up in a weird situationship with Tammy Mullins and then “cheated” on Tammy Mullins with his ex, Tammy Warner, if you can even cheat on a fuckbuddy. 

Kenny didn’t have the most savory reputation in South Park when it came to women. He was a flirt who made it known to everyone how much he liked the ladies and with his charm and rugged looks, he oftentimes was able to pull any girl that he fed the right line to. You felt like it was pointless to pursue him, because you’d inevitably get your heartbroken and look like an idiot much like Tammy Mullins when she attempted to beat the ever living shit out of Tammy Warner for the aforementioned incident. 

“Aren’t you going to answer it?” Marjorine spoke in a sing-song voice that let you know that she was highly anticipating overhearing this conversation.

You rolled your eyes, “Go ahead.”

Marjorine swiped the answer bar, “Well hi, Ken!”

“Hi, Barbie!” Kenny didn’t miss a beat, a chuckle to his voice, “Where’s Y/N?”

“I’m right here. What’s up, Kenny?” You spoke, distracting your nerves by finishing up Marjorine’s hair and making sure that the color was evenly spread with meticulous attention to detail.

“Just wanted to see if you ladies wanted to chill at Stark’s Pond later. The guys are all out of town doing fuck knows what and I have like...three days off of work and I’ve already bored myself to death.”

“You mean to tell me you’ve already gotten bored with jacking off and hitting up girls on Snap? Are you feeling okay, bud?” You said with a smirk, eliciting a gasp at your language from the blonde sitting underneath you.

“Ha ha…hilarious. I haven’t jacked it at all today. I’m waiting to see you in a bikini at the pond so I can have that mental image to cross that off my list.”

“Cute.”

“Gross, Ken!”

He chuckled again, “Are you guys coming or what?”

You looked at Marjorine and she looked at you. Before you could contemplate a response, she replied for you, “We’ll be there! Does 3:00 work?”

You shot her a look and she grinned mischievously. “Yeah, for sure. You make sure to look cute too, Marj. I’ve got a lot of free time coming up.” You could hear his smirk through the phone, earning him another eye roll.

“Oh shut it, Kenny. We’ll see you later.” 

“Okay! Love you guys, bye!”

“Love you too!” Marjorine replied, hanging up the phone and looking over her shoulder at you with a smile.

“I hate you.”

“Nuh uh.”

“I’m going to drown you when I rinse you.”

“Oh, hamburgers.”

A few hours later, you were in your room putting on high waisted black bikini bottoms with a black and white striped top as you were trying to call Marjorine to determine whether or not the suit was too modest or just right. You’d called several times, but she still wasn’t answering. You turned your attention to your hair, putting it in two braids, when you finally heard your ringtone.

“Hey, are you okay? I tried calling like a hundred times.” You spoke over speaker phone, starting on your other braid.

“Yeah, I suppose I’m alright…well, a little anyway.” She sounded sad. You’d be willing to bet the $500 sitting in your savings account that you knew where this conversation was going. 

“What happened?” 

“Well, you see, my dad was real sore about my hair. He said it made me look cheap and…”

“You’re grounded…”

“Yeah…”

You sighed, “Marj, we’re twenty. Your dad can’t ground you forever.” 

She sighed back, “I know…I keep hoping that maybe he’ll stop the older I get, but really, I’m getting older everyday and he’s not stopping!”

You groaned, flopping back on your bed, “So, I’m just going to go hang out with Kenny alone…”

“You say that like you haven’t wanted to date him since we were in high school.” Marjorine said, a smile clearly perking up on her face. You could tell by her tone.

“Yeah, but like..” You tried to start replying back.

“But nothing! Go and have a good time!” she said, “And use protection!”

“Marjorine!” You gasped, shaking your head at her response.

“I’m just saying.” She replied. Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door.

“Marjorine, are you on your phone?!” Her father’s voice boomed.

“No, dad…I’m just…uh…talking to myself!” She replied back nervously. You could hear her father barking out orders at her to stay quiet and to think about what she’d done. Quickly, she wished you luck and ended the call.

You looked at your phone, noticing it was almost time for you to leave and decided that you would start gathering your things so that you could go. Once you arrived, you immediately noticed Kenny’s truck. It was an older model with rusted parts, chipped paint, and numerous crude and comedic stickers littering both the back glass and the door to the bed.

Part of you wanted him to not show up. Sure, you’d been harboring a crush on Kenny, but to think you’d be able to pull him? There was no way. He liked girls with big boobs, curves, full lips, and gorgeous skin. Compared to those girls, you just felt normal, like there was nothing special about you. You’d been told you were beautiful, funny, and smart, but going after Kenny still felt futile.

You parked next to his truck and then got out, walking towards the pond with your bag in hand. You soon noticed the blonde boy laying on a tattered quilt blanket. He was wearing only orange swim trunks and a pair of aviator sunglasses. His head turned toward you and he did a double take, tossing his hand up to greet you.

You walked over and sat your bag down next to the blanket. Kenny let out a soft wolf-whistle. “Baby, baby, baby…” He said, “I thought the view of the pond was beautiful, but you’ve got it beat.”

You rolled your eyes, sitting down on the blanket. “You’re full of it, Ken.” you said. He chuckled, shaking his head, “I’m just observing.”

“Uh huh…”

“Where’s Marj?” 

“Grounded”

“Shit…I mean, that sucks, but hey…” He turned on his side to look at you, “At least we get some time just you and me, right?”

Your chest tightened and you took a deep breath, “Mhmmm…”

“So…you seeing anyone?”

You rolled your eyes again. He was always so flirty with everyone. This was his baseline. You had to keep this at the front of your mind and just roll with his advances and play along with the game he was initiating. 

You shook your head, taking out your sunscreen. You twisted the nozzle so that it would spray and went over your arms, chest, and legs. Kenny held his hand out and you handed the bottle to him, expecting him to apply a coat to his already tanned skin. Instead, he sat up and slid behind you and sprayed your back.

“What are you…?” You lost your train of thought as he reached up and started gently rubbing it into your back.

Your breath hitched in your throat, “U-Uh…it’s…it’s touch free…”

“Oh?” He said. You could hear the smirk in his voice, “I didn’t read the bottle.” He leaned in closer to you until his breath was on your ear, “My bad…”

A shiver ran down your spine and he laughed under his breath again, moving back to the blanket. “So, why’d Clyde say he’d been talking to you if you’re single, then?”

“Because he’s full of shit.” 

It was a plain reply to the question because that was the honest truth. Clyde tended to be a bit of an attention seeker and this kind of behavior was a norm with him almost as much as being flirtatious was to Kenny. 

“Interesting…” Kenny laughed, “I think you should take that up with him.”

“It’s not that serious.” You laughed, laying back on the blanket, turning your head to look at him.

“I think you should tell him that you’re not talking to him because you’re talking to me.”

“Lie to end a lie?”

“Doesn’t have to be a lie.”

“You’re something else, you know that, right?”

The small talk and banter between the two of you went on for what felt like minutes, but upon looking at the clock on your lockscreen, you found out it’d been hours. The sun was starting to set and the two of you were the last people remaining at the pond.

“We should go get food.” You suggested, gesturing towards him with his sunglasses that you were holding, having taken them from him hours ago upon realizing that yours had been left in Marjorine’s car days ago.

“Or we could skinny dip and then get food.” He retorted, shrugging as if he didn’t ask you to get naked in public with him.

“You’re insane.”

“Some people would find that hot, you know?”

“Pretty sure skinny dipping is illegal.”

“No guts, no glory…plus, our police force is a joke. I think we’ll be fine.”

“You think.”

Kenny got up from the blanket and started down to the water. He turned towards you and smirked. “I know…” He then jumped into the water, making a large splash that landed on the blanket and your legs.

He re-emerged only seconds later and held his swim trunks over his head. “Kenny!” You gasped.

“Yes?” His smile was absolutely devious. You got up and walked to the edge of the water only for him to pull his hand back and send his swim trunks launching towards you, only landing on your feet due to the weight of the water in the fabric.

You couldn’t think of anything else to say so you just crossed your arms over your chest and watched the blonde who was currently smiling so widely you could finally see the small gap in his smile from his missing tooth. You had to admit…the colors and lighting of the sunset mixed with the beads of water rolling down his shoulders and his wet hair…If Kenny was anything, it was beautiful.

“Take a picture sweetheart, it’ll last longer.” You’d gotten caught. You took a hard swallow, choosing not to respond to his comment. “Man, this water is getting cold…it’d be nice if someone else would join me so I could suck up their body heat.”

He couldn’t be that desperate. You sighed, “Okay…okay…”

You jumped in, resurfacing right in front of him moments later. He grinned playfully. “Lucky me.” He closed the gap between you two, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing your body in close to him.

“You are ridiculous.” You tried to sound stern, but you couldn’t help but form a smile at his reaction to your presence. He seemed genuinely happy to have you in the water with him with your bodies so close together…but of course he does. It’s Kenny. Something like this is his idea of paradise. You were brought back to your thoughts earlier about Kenny’s baseline and his affinity for the ladies.

“You still with me?” he asked, noticing how your thoughts had drifted from your current position to the depths of your mind. You turned your attention back to him, “Yeah, I was just…thinking…”

“Bout what?” he asked, reaching up to play with the end of your hair delicately, 

“You”

“Me? Huh, it really is my lucky day, isn’t it?”

“Who says it’s good?”

“Well, damn, the thought didn’t cross my mind, but I guess you’re right.” He chuckled.

He leaned in, his lips curved up in a smirk as he leaned in in an attempt to kiss you. You reached up with two fingers and pressed them to his lips to stop him. He pulled back and laughed, shaking his head.

“You’re naked in a pond with me right now…I don’t think that should be our first kiss.”

“So, you’re telling me that if I put my clothes back on, you’d kiss me?” 

“We’ll see…”

“I never thought I’d want to get my clothes back on with you instead of staying naked.” he said.

A few minutes later, Kenny was redressed and you’d dried off and put the t-shirt he’d come to the pond in over your suit. It was now fully dark, the only light coming from his headlights after he’d turned the car on. 

“So…where do you wanna go for food?” he asked, leaning against the car. You shrugged and stood beside him, leaning your back against the vehicle as well. “I”m up for anything, really. I’m not picky. Anything beats frozen waffles for the fourth time this week.”

“McDonald’s?” You questioned, earning a nod in response from the blonde.

“Before we go, though…you said that if we weren’t naked and in the pond you’d kiss me.”

You let out a deep breath from your nose and looked at him, not responding, but raising both eyebrows questioning him ever so slightly.

“So…can we?” He grinned.

“Why do you want to kiss me anyway? You can have your pick of any girl in South Park…or have you just blown through all of your options over the years and I’m the last girl on the list?” You questioned, “It’s not like you’ve actively tried pursuing me before. Why now?”

Kenny looked taken aback by your question, “I…” He paused, as if trying to gather his thoughts. You must’ve honestly thrown him a curveball he was never expecting. “I don’t know…guess I thought you’d never go for me. You’re kind of too good for me. At least, that’s what Marj says.”

“Marj? What’d she say?”

“Oh, I told her I wanted to ask you out like…Christmastime-ish…and she was like ‘Nah, she’s too smart and too good for you. She won’t put up with your shit.’ and one night, after smoking a blunt, I thought some more about it and realized that she’s probably right and that you’re not going to put up with my shit and that even though you’re totally one of the most gorgeous girls I’ve ever seen I…”

You cut him off by leaning in to kiss his lips. He smiled against your lips and instantly kissed back, moving over you to lean you even further back against the hood of his truck, resting both arms on each side of your head until one hand slid down and came to rest on your hip, hooking his finger into your belt loop to pull you in closer. You kept kissing him, letting your hands slide down his bare chest, a shiver running down your spine at the small moan that left his lips as your hands moved. Finally, you had to pull back to catch your breath.

You took a second, just looking at him, your E/C eyes staring into his baby blues. Then, you spoke up, “I'm still not putting up with your shit, though.” You both laughed in response and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Makes sense.” He said, leaning in to kiss you again. The kiss once again turned heated, you locking a leg around his waist and his hands traveling past the hem of his shirt that you were wearing to caress the slightly exposed skin of your abdomen and then move to your back, reaching up to play with the tie on your bathing suit. You stopped him, putting a hand up to his arm to get his attention.

“Shit…” He shook his head, “I”m sorry, I–”

“Don’t apologize.” You began, “I just think it’d be a little more private in the truck.”

That’s how you found yourself on your back in the cramped single cab of Kenny’s truck for the first time that summer. His lips were traveling down your body and your chest was rising and falling at a rapidly increasing pace the further he maneuvered himself downward. You glanced down at him and met his eyes as he looked up at you, his fingers hooked themselves in the sides of your swimsuit bottoms. He shifted his position a little as he was still partially standing outside of the truck. 

You could barely make out his features in the dim overhead light of the truck, but you could notice how his eyes were a deeper shade of blue than earlier. His face was flushed, his shaggy mullet was even messier from the presence of your hands, and he was wearing a shit-eating grin that looked absolutely devious, but you could’ve sworn you’d never seen anything more attractive and enticing in your life.

“G-Go ahead…”

From that point forward, any nights off you both shared were spent in either his bed, the backseat of your car, or the bed of his truck. You remembered recalling the first two weeks to Marjorine after finally deciding that things were stable enough to share with at least your best friend.

You didn’t notice that she was about to take a sip of her can of soda when you casually stated “Kenny and I are like…seeing each other…well, if fucking counts as seeing each other.” Marjorine promptly started coughing, the bright green can of Mountain Dew coming back to the carpet of her floor as she tried to regain her composure. 

“Excuse me, what?”

Despite the harsh way that you would describe your encounters with the blonde, the affairs themselves were anything but. Kenny was nothing but a gentleman to you, always asking if you were alright, taking care of you afterwards, and only getting rougher with your permission. Even then, he’d talk you through it, ensuring you felt safe and comfortable no matter what. It didn’t take too long into your “relationship” for the crush you’d been harboring for years to evolve into full feelings.

Your kisses became more passionate and more frequent. Your touches became more forward and increased in frequency as well. As far as you could tell, Kenny was eating it up and taking it all in and there was no doubt in your mind that he absolutely felt the same. After consulting with Marjorine one night, you decided to finally ask Kenny the burning question.

“What are we?”

You didn’t expect the question to hang in the air the way that it did. You were sitting up in your bed, knees pulled into your chest wearing only his t-shirt and a pair of panties. Kenny was redressing himself after Cartman disrupted the nap you two had been taking by blowing up his phone, asking him to help him with some ridiculous scheme since Marjorine wasn’t answering her phone.

He turned back to you looking like a deer in the headlights. “What do you mean?” he asked as if the question wasn’t clear cut as is. You let out a mild sigh of frustration. Kenny wasn’t stupid by any means. Despite the rumors, you’d see his grades when he’d log on and check them and he was able to hack into just about any video game to make mods to fit any desire he may have during gameplay. 

“Are we like…together, or?”

“Like…dating?” He was buttoning up the tacky orange Hawaiian shirt he’d been wearing, completely missing a button, obviously jarred by this conversation.

“I mean, yeah.” It came out like a question when it was definitely a statement. 

He leaned against your dresser, sliding on his slip on Vans, “I mean…I don’t know.” He shrugged, “We do like…everything couples do…but I hadn’t put much thought into it.”

“You haven’t put much thought into it?” You repeated, dumbfounded at this response. He’d started saying something else, but it sounded like white noise to your ears and you quickly cut him off, “You’ve had a month and a half of spending many nights a week balls deep in me and you haven’t taken a single second to think ‘Hey, would I actually like to date this person or am I just wasting both of our time and fucking them until something better comes along?’”

Kenny really looked shocked now. Somewhere in your rant, he’d started re-buttoning his shirt, but he stopped midway when you started talking and was now looking at you with both sides of the shirt in his hand and his eyes blown wide in shock. He finally let go of the shirt to run his hands over his face.

“Y/N…”

“Kenny, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me…”

“What…like…I just…I don’t know and Marj has been asking me the same thing and like…I haven’t even told anyone, if I'm honest.”

“Kenny what the fuck!?” Your voice was getting louder, “Why am I some secret of yours? Is it so you can go around and fuck other girls like you’d been doing? I told you, I”m not putting up with your bullshit.”

“Oh my god…” He groaned, throwing his head back, “Listen, it’s not like that. I just…I don’t know. That’s it. I don’t know.”

Tears were welling up in your eyes, “Just get out, Kenny.”

“But…”

“Go.”

He shrugged and let out a sigh, “Okay…fine. See you around.”

As soon as you could hear the tell-tale aged, loud roar of his truck’s engine, you dissolved into tears. You pulled his shirt over your head and threw it at the wall, burying yourself under your covers as your tears turned into full sobs. How could you have been so stupid? Everything you’d ever heard about him was true and Marjorine was right. You deserved better than him.

Weeks had passed since your breakup, if you could even call it that, with Kenny. You hadn’t spoken to him since and made sure to avoid him at all costs. You were not about to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he’d hurt you.

 It was now nearing the middle of August and the now-annual college send-off party at Tegridy Farms was rolling around signaling the end of summer and the parting of ways of all of your childhood friends that happened at this time of year.

“I still don’t want to go.” You said plainly, looking at your reflection in the mirror that hung from your bedroom door.

“It’s a tradition, Y/N and we always have fun! Remember last year when Mr. Marsh got on the karaoke machine and started singing Nicki Minaj and blacked out and broke the coffee table right before the best part of the song?” Marjorine stated, touching up her black eyeliner.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s a good spot to people watch. Maybe Clyde will get shitfaced again and end up screaming and crying for Bebe to take him back and then throw up in the yard, still crying.” You chuckled.

“See, that just makes me sad. He loves her so much and she just uses that boy whenever she wants something because he’s got money.” Marjorine glanced over at you, “Clyde’s got man written by a woman energy.”

You chuckled, “Marj, just because he’s kinda got a dad bod at 20, is sensitive, and is a male Swiftie doesn’t mean that he’s written by a woman. He killed his mom because he wouldn’t put the toilet seat down. That’s giving Mojo Dojo Casa House.”

“Ken was written by a woman, though!”

Not realizing she was following up your reference, you scoffed, “Oh, he most definitely is not. He’s written by some middle aged man that thinks shock value and sex jokes are still funny at their big-old-age.” 

“No, he’s not! Ken is just a himbo! He…” She paused and then realized what you’d said, “Oh…oh hamburgers…not the same Ken. I’m sorry.”

You realize what you’d said too, “My bad. I just…whew…I had a whole response to that. I’m so sorry, Marj.”

“It’s fine…and I agree. All of the broship were written by men of different ages…except Kyle…”

You stopped applying mascara to think about what she’d said and then nodded, “Sheila Brovlofski is the greatest author of our generation.”

The music was already blaring from inside when you pulled up to Tegridgy farms. Once you got out of your car, you could already smell the weed pouring outside. Typical party at Tegridgy. You reached into the pocket of your denim jacket and pulled out your vape, taking a few hits to calm your nerves. You knew, without a doubt, that you’d be running into Kenny tonight, and you weren’t sure how to handle it.

As you both approached the door, you knew you had to make up your mind sooner rather than later as to how you were going to handle this. In true fight, flight, or freeze nature, you could either avoid him at all costs, turn away and ignore him if he approaches you, or just freeze up and end up talking to him like nothing was wrong…and at this point, there was no telling as to what you’d choose.

You walked inside with your hands in your pockets, looking around to scope out the general area. There was a makeshift dance floor where multiple of your peers were either dancing or standing around, two tables of beer pong, and then the kitchen where the counters were littered with various alcohol bottles and almost artistic looking bongs.

You headed over to the counter and took a hold of the ingredients to make one of the only drinks you could confidently make for yourself: a tequila sunrise. You made yourself a double and Marjorine a single and handed it to her. “Aw, shucks, I really shouldn’t…you know how much of a light weight I am.” she said, staring into the cup, “Last time was bad…”

You chuckled, “It wasn’t that bad. You just called Eric sexy in front of a bunch of people which isn’t necessarily like…morally wrong or bad…just questionable and objectively incorrect.” You took a large sip of your drink, trying to get the alcohol to kick in as quickly as possible in case of an inevitable emergency and to drown the still lingering sorrows from that day in your bedroom.

Within the first hour of being there, you’d drank the double tequila sunrise you’d made for yourself, taken an old fashioned that Tolkien was preparing for multiple people, and had been consistently refilling your red cup with the jungle juice someone (Kenny) had prepared and put into several empty milk cartons of all things. Now, you were currently positioned at a bright green and black bong, taking a hit before passing it to one of the goth kids. Michael? Pete? Did it really matter? No, as long as it wasn’t Kenny.

You got up, fully preparing to just stride out of the kitchen and go find Marjorine but found out oh too quickly that you were too inebriated to stand up that quickly. You stumbled, vision a little blurry and your entire body feeling fuzzy.

“You okay?” The goth kid got up and leaned against his cane, extending his hand to you.

“Yeah, I’m good. I’m so good. I’m great, actually.” You blew him off, grabbing your cup and taking another sip as you stumbled off towards the living room where the couches and dance floor were. You flopped down on the couch next to a boy you were actually quite familiar with. His shaggy, dark hair was peeking out of his blue and yellow chullo and he was cutting his eyes over at you almost cautiously, as if he were afraid of you doing something.

“Hey Craig!” You slurred, leaning over onto him.

“Hey, Y/N.” His voice was as monotone as ever and he kept looking around and then over at you.

“Where’s Tweek?” You asked, reaching up to play with the side of his chullo as you put your legs into his lap. The brunette took a deep breath to gain his composure, “He got a little anxious so he’s outside smoking with Bebe. Do you need something?”

“Nuh uh…I'm so good!” You said, inching closer to him.

“Uh huh…sure you are.” His eyes stayed forward despite your close proximity to his face.

“You’re so hot, you know that right?” You said.

He fully turned to you, face burning red, riddled with shock. He was about to respond, when all of a sudden a flash of an orange hoodie dropped down on the arm of the couch next to him.

“Craig Tucker, what’s up, dude?”

“Ugh, not this guy.” Your tone shifted and your lack of filter continued.

“I know…you’re mad at me, sweetheart…but I promise, you’re going to be madder at yourself in the morning.” he laughed and then looked at Craig, “Swap with me.”

Craig muttered something. You only caught, “Good luck” as he got up and reached into his pocket, taking out a box of cigarettes as he headed towards the back porch.

“Get away from me.”

“I'm not trying anything. I’m just trying to keep you safe, because you’re kinda getting messy. I’ve been there, done that…and I just don’t want you to end up trying to fuck Cartman too.”

“I wasn’t trying to fuck, Craig! You’re such a fucking idiot!”

“Babe, relax. I was talking about Marj…New Years Eve.” He leaned his head back on the back of the couch, looking over at you. You could tell that despite his ability to hold a consistent conversation, his eyes were bloodshot. He’d most likely been smoking.

“You okay?” he asked, his tone turning more serious and soft.

“I”m fine.” You took your phone out of your pocket and attempted to unlock it, or so you thought, until Kenny reached over and snatched the phone away, pressing some buttons before sliding it in his pocket.

“Hey, give that back!”

“Babygirl, you were about to summon the pigs. Randy would’ve shit his pants.” he chuckled, “Pretty sure that’s a dead giveaway that you’re not okay.”

“This is a weed farm, not like an actual farm. There’s no pigs.”

Kenny laughed rather loudly, “You are absolutely right, baby. That it is. Thanks to me.”

“Stop calling me that.” You said, crossing your arms over your chest, “And give me my fucking phone back!”

He shook his head, “Can’t do that…either of those things, actually.”

“Fine.” You stood up and walked off. It must’ve taken Kenny a moment to process, because you got a little bit of a head start before he caught up with you in a hallway, where you stumbled slightly and then ended up leaning against the wall. 

You were dizzy and your body felt both light and heavy all at once. You wrapped your arms around yourself, craving some kind of pressure. You started to slide down the wall when you felt someone’s hand on your arm, following you down until you were both on the floor with whoever it was’ arms wrapped around you giving you the physical touch you’d been desiring.

“I’ve got you. You’re fine.”

You groaned. Of course, it was Kenny. You wanted to pull away, but instead you flopped over onto him, laying your head on his shoulder. He gently trailed his fingers down your bare arm, your jacket long since missing in the chaos of the party. 

“You just sleepy or do you feel like you’re going to be sick or something?” he asked softly. You shook your head, “No. Where’s my fucking vape?”

Kenny chuckled lowly, “I don’t know, babe. Did you bring it in with you?”

You nodded, wrapping an arm around his middle, “My jacket.”

“You’re not wearing a jacket.”

“I am.”

“You definitely aren’t. You’re wearing a sparkly pink dress.” He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your exposed shoulder, “See, no jacket.”

You let out a whimper of disgust before Kenny reached into his pocket and handed you a hunter green colored vape pen, “It’s not your peach mango whatever the fuck that shit you smoke is, but…”

“Ugh, it’s menthol. Just give it to me.”

“How’d you remember that?” 

You shrugged and took a long hit, holding it for a moment before exhaling. You handed the pen back to him and watched as several people walked by, barely missing stepping on you or tripping over your feet. Kenny took notice of this and started to stand, helping you up along the way.

“No, I wanna sit.” You slurred, shaking your head.

“Why don’t we go home…” He said, “My parents are out for the night doing fuck knows what and Karen’s at her friend’s. It’ll just be us and you can get some sleep.”

When you were back on your feet, you shook your head, “No…I'm not sleeping with you. Not again, not after all that shit.” 

“No, no, no…not like that. I wouldn’t do that. I meant like…actually sleep.” He corrected himself, putting an arm around your waist as he started subtly leading you towards the door.

“Stop…why are you holding me? You don’t even like me!” You were starting to get louder as you spoke and Kenny looked at you with concern. He tightened his grip on you as you walked down the steps and headed towards his truck, hoping you wouldn’t fall.

“I do like you! I wouldn’t be helping you if I didn’t.”

“No, like…like me, like me…you dont like me.”

“Y/N…”

“Just shut up, Kenny.” You opened his truck door and flopped yourself in, slamming the door haphazardly behind you. Kenny pinched the bridge of his nose before walking to the other side of the truck, getting in and starting the engine. He leaned over and buckled you in and then took off his hoodie, leaving him in a white wife beater. He folded it up and then nudged you gently.

“Sit up.”

You moved a little away from your position of leaning up against the window long enough for him to slide the hoodie under your head. However, as soon as he positioned it, you sat up and pulled it down. You unbuckled your seatbelt and threw the hoodie onto your body. 

You heard Kenny mutter some curse words as he stopped backing out of the spot he was parked in to reach over and buckle you back into the seat with a sigh. You were about halfway to Kenny’s house when you felt your chest tighten. At first, you thought you were going to throw up. You were about to reach over and get Kenny’s attention so that he could pull over when you realized what was truly building inside of you and you broke down in tears.

Your head went into your hands as you sobbed. “What the…” Kenny spoke under his breath, turning his attention from the road to you briefly, reaching over to put his hand on your back, rubbing small circles.

“Hey…no…shhh…what’s got you so upset, babygirl?” he asked.

“Stop it!” You sobbed, reaching behind you to swat his hand away, “Stop saying that. Stop touching me. You don’t love me, so stop it!”

Kenny was silent momentarily, “What’s gotten into you? Like, I know we haven’t seen each other since that day in your room…and that’s my fault. I should’ve like…reached out or something, but I thought you hated me and…I promise. I fucking promise…I didn’t mean for it to come out the way that it did.”

“How else could it come out?” You cried, “You basically admitted that you didn’t want to be in a relationship with me and only wanted to fuck me even though I wanted to be with you and then you told me that you hadn’t told anyone about us probably because you wanted to fuck every girl you could this summer before they all packed it up and went back to college. That’s fucking ridiculous, Kenny. I thought the whole ‘McWhoremick” thing was like…a joke or like…the way your friends shit on you, but Jesus Christ.”

“I hadn’t told anyone because I didn’t know what we were and like…I knew that I liked you, but I didn’t know what else to do about it because Marj had told me so many times that you could do better and like…especially after that fight in your room…I knew you could do better so I just…tried to let you find that better? I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

“You never know! That’s the problem! How do you not know? You either love me or you don’t!”

“I just…”

You scoffed, “I love you! I love you. Is that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?”

He was silent for ages, only saying something about how you were drunk a mere seconds after your confession. You didn’t know at what point you’d pulled into Kenny’s driveway, but as soon as you registered where you were, you got out of the car and tried to storm towards the door, but stumbled, falling to your knees on the pavement. The sting of the scrape only added to your tears. You reached up and wiped your eyes, your crying becoming quieter as you were lifted to your feet by the boy who pulled you into his arms, running his fingers through your hair, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. Let's get you inside. We’ll clean your knees up…and wash your makeup off…and get you some water…and you can lay down.”

And that’s exactly what he did for you. You walked in and almost immediately collapsed onto his bed. He took this opportunity to clean your scraped knees and then got you up into a sitting position and helped you change into his hoodie and a spare pair of his boxers. You were half-asleep by the time that he took a makeup wipe to your face and started wiping the messy makeup off of your features. 

Lastly, Kenny got you situated in his bed, pulling the covers up and kissing your forehead. “I’m right here on the floor if you need anything. Popcorn bowl is on the floor. Water bottle is right next to it. Please, wake me up if you need me. I’ll be fine.”

You nodded in agreement, but then spoke up, “Can you stay with me?”

“Huh?” he asked, looking up at you from where he was sitting on the floor.

“Please sleep with me…” You said, reaching out towards him.

He chuckled, “You sure?”

You nodded again and scooted over to make room for him. He slid into the bedsheets and carefully positioned himself next to you, allowing you to move over and lay with your head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around you and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.

The next few hours were littered with infrequent bouts of sleep mixed with burying your face into the popcorn bowl as your stomach purged itself of the alcohol that remained in your system, running to the bathroom on the few chances you felt you could make it, crying, and drinking water. The entire time, Kenny held you, held your hair back, and wiped your face with a cool washcloth. 

By the time you woke up the next day around 1PM, you were still exhausted, not feeling well, and fairly lost in regards to the events of last night. You just knew that you woke up with Kenny wrapped around you and you were in his hoodie and boxers and you prayed to whatever higher power may be out there that you hadn’t fucked him again.

You sat up and ran a hand through your hair, looking around until your eyes fell on your charging phone laying on the ground. You picked it up and saw two texts from Marjorine on top.

She’ll be okay.

Hehehe I knew it ;)

“What?” you whispered, unlocking your phone. You went straight to Marjorine’s text thread. Under your last response to her, a “kk!” from when she arrived at your house before the party, there was a longish thread of messages that clearly went between her and Kenny.

Where are you? I’ve been looking for you for an hour! Are you okay?

Hey, Marj. Thanks for giving me her passcode. My phone died right after I called you and I put her phone on the charger in my room. I can charge mine when she wakes up.

Is she okay? Omg.

Yeah, just going back between screaming, crying, and throwing up…literally. At least she started that once we’d already left or it would’ve been real bad. 

Bless her heart! What’d you say to get her so upset?

It wasn’t me! Damn. She just got upset…about us…and then screamed at me that she loved me.

And you said?

Nothing. She was drunk. 

Drunk words are sober thoughts. ;)

So, you think Cartman is sexy, huh?

Oh my goddddd stop. That isn’t true and this isn’t about me. What do you think of her?

I…might’ve realized I fucked up literally the night we had that fight…and I haven’t known what to do about it…so…I just…loved her in secret and accepted that she deserved better. I’m just worried she’s going to wake up and like…regret saying all of this and like trying to have this conversation with me again.

She’ll be okay.

Hehehe I knew it ;)

Your chest felt full and tight all at the same time and your eyes soon fell upon the sleeping blonde, who was still wrapped around you despite you sitting upright at this point. You reached down and ran your fingers through his hair gently. A few passes through his blonde locks and he stirred, looking up at you.

“Morning, beautiful.” he spoke groggily, “You okay?”

You nodded, “Just tired…”

“Mm…come lay back down then. Let's go back to bed.”

It was your turn to smirk over at him, “You love me, huh?”

“What?”

You pulled up the texts again, showing him and then reading his own words to him verbatim, “So…I just…loved her in secret and accepted that she deserved better.”

“Hey, that’s a private conversation!” he laughed.

“On my phone…” You retorted.

“Yeah!”

“So, do you love me?” You moved back down to laying next to him, turned on your side, propped up on your elbow. He blushed, lips curving back up into his famous devious grin.

“Ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?”

“I think I've heard worse.”

With a giggle and a kiss to his lips, your relationship with Kenny transitioned just as the seasons outside had started to move from the bright colors of an otherwise dark summer for you to the warm, comforts of fall…all starting and ending in that beat-up pickup. 

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

What doesn't kill me makes me want you more

[greywolfheirs]

Lokius procrastination part 3

Ok this one I can't blame on NaNo but it's been in my head for a while. Anyway, Lokius reunion ft. Thor. From Thor's POV because I love "Avengers meeting Mobius and wondering wtf he's got going on that makes Loki go crazy for this old man"

~~~~~

Thor watched as Darcy’s machine slowly revealed the silhouette of a person. As the details slowly filled in, he realized he recognized this silhouette.

“Loki?” he shouted incredulously as, indeed, his brother manifested before him.

Loki took a second to scan his surroundings before his eyes landed on Thor. “Brother, is that you?”

“Of course it’s me,” Thor said, hope blooming in his chest. “Is that really you? Are you actually here?”

“I-I’m not entirely sure,” Loki said, patting his chest as if to check. Thor turned to Darcy who shrugged and nodded. Thor didn’t need more. He strode across the room and swooped his brother up into a tight hug, lifting his feet off the ground.

Loki chuckled and pat Thor on the shoulder after they parted. “You have no idea how good it is to see you, dear brother.”

“I could say the same,” Thor responded. “I no longer question your ability to cheat death.”

Loki made a face. “Well, that’s a long story.” He shook his head though. “But we don’t have time for it. Look, I need to go back–the timelines will start to fall apart if they’re left too long without my care.”

“They should be stable!” Darcy called from behind them. “That’s how we were able to bring you here in the first place. Of course, we didn’t realize it was you we were bringing here.”

Loki tilted his head and walked towards the scientist. “Are you certain?”

Thus began a conversation Thor was entirely unable to follow, until Loki gave a grim but satisfied nod.

“Right, then I suppose I’m available for the next ten minutes,” he said definitively.

“I mean, if we can streamline the formula, I might be able to bring you back for longer next time,” Darcy said, distracted by her computer.

Loki smiled suddenly and sighed wistfully. He put his hands on Darcy’s shoulders and kissed her forehead when she turned towards him in surprise. “I truly never appreciated you Midgardians the way you deserved. You’re brilliant.”

Darcy looked uncomfortable. “Uh, thanks?”

Loki turned from her and walked back towards Thor. He clapped his hands in excitement. “Well, then, brother, shall we catch each other up? What have you been up to?”

Thor thought about it. “Not much. Chopped off Thanos’ head. Spent time with the Guardians. Oh, and adopted a daughter.”

“Really?”

“Long story. What about you, brother?”

Loki opened his mouth to answer but Thor was distracted by the sound of footsteps running down the hallway. No one else should have had access to the lab, so Thor stepped around Loki and braced Stormbreaker. As the footsteps came into view, they revealed another Midgardian. He was wearing a brown suit, and had a gray mustache to match the hair on his head. He didn’t look like someone capable of breaking into labs. Thor kept his stance but relaxed fractionally.

Loki let out a choked sound, and Thor turned to see his brother with one of the most devastated expressions he’d seen since their mother died.

“Loki?” the intruder asked, as if he wasn’t sure.

“Mobius!” Loki cried, brushing past Thor to slide into the Midgardian’s arms. Thor had never seen his brother this emotional over someone so…plain.

Even more shocking, it was the man–Mobius, apparently–who seemed to be soothing the God of Mischief. As Loki slumped in his arms, Mobius cradled his head with his hand, speaking soft soothing words into his temple. It sounded an awful lot like, “I’m so glad I found you again.”

Thor glanced at Darcy, who looked shocked, but she didn’t know Loki well enough to understand the full extent of just how bewildering the scene was. To Thor, much as he couldn’t believe it, it almost seemed like Loki was reuniting with a lover. A Midgardian lover.

Loki stood back with a sniffle, and Thor’s suspicions were confirmed when Mobius reached up to wipe a tear from Loki’s cheeks. His own eyes looked reddened.

��How did you get here?” Mobius asked.

Loki seemed to remember where he was and showed Mobius to Darcy’s computer, explaining with slightly less complicated but still confusing words how he’d gotten there. As they turned around, Loki spotted Thor again, and brightened. He grabbed Mobius’s arm and walked him over, sweeping a hand at Thor.

“Mobius, I’m sure you know this is Thor,” he said, then turned to Thor. “Thor, this is Mobius. He—well, it’s hard to explain, really.”

Mobius stuck out his hand. “Agent for the TVA, Time Variance Authority, which you won’t know about but which I’ll explain when we’re not on a time crunch.”

Thor took the man’s hand. “Pleasure. And you know Loki how, exactly.”

“He arrested me,” Loki answered, smiling like he was proud of it.

“Well, that wasn’t me,” Mobius said, turning back to Loki, who waved it off.

“Details,” Loki said, his tone light with amusement. Thor was in awe.

“Anyway,” Mobius said to Thor, “I can catch you up on everything while Loki goes back to managing the timelines. I’d like to offer my help, if I can.”

“Of course,” Thor said, looking to confirm Darcy’s agreement as he said it. “It seems there’s a lot we don’t know.”

Mobius nodded and turned back to Loki. “So I guess we’re saying goodbye again?”

Loki nodded sadly but put a hand to Mobius’s shoulder. “Hopefully not for long this time.”

“It won’t be,” Mobius said confidently. “I’m dragging your ass back here one way or another.”

Loki smiled, and was about to drop his hand when Mobius stepped forward suddenly, pulling Loki down by the lapels. They crashed together in a passionate kiss, which Loki seemed to return enthusiastically. Thor turned both to give them privacy and to share a look with Darcy.

When they were done, Mobius whispered something Thor could barely hear but seemed to be along the lines of regretting not doing that earlier. Loki seemed to agree.

Darcy cleared her throat and announced apologetically, “One minute left, Loki.”

Mobius stepped away with embarrassment. He swept a hand towards Thor, who grabbed Loki in another tight hug.

“You have much to explain, brother,” Thor whispered in his ear.

Loki laughed. “I do.”

He stepped back, looking to Darcy, who simply nodded at him before sweeping last longing glances at Thor and Mobius. In moments, he faded away.

“Okay, agent,” Thor said after a moment of silence, “explain.”

Mobius nodded. “You guys want to talk over some pie?”

[ameri-blog]

Mi secreto (Scientist AU!)

Quick note: i js wanted to thank you guys for 50 likes on my first post about him but yeah thats all. And also this was like before he became spider man so no fangs or talons, sorry.😞

Warnings; I don’t think theres anything that might need warnings but slight smut?

“Aye mi amorrr! Cómo te extrañé.” The lady basically throwing herself over Miguel said loudly. You flinch on your chair that was infront of your computer and turn around to stare at her with an annoyed look on your face which Miguel seemed to notice.

“Don’t be so rude Dana, I share this lab with other people, remember?” He teased, he held onto the lady’s hips, knowing that you were watching.

“Okay i get it, you guys are totallyyy happily married. Now will you please go, Mrs. O’Hara” you scoffed, you were staring at her with your eyes narrowed and a finger pointed to the exit door.

“Ugh fine y/n, just cause you can’t have something, doesn’t mean you have to bring down others” Dana, Miguel’s wife angrily says as she heads towards the door. “Oh and Miguel, don’t forget, I wont be able to come home at all today since i have to go visit a long time friend. Bye honey!”

“Bye honey” You mocked once she left the door. You were jealous even though you knew that Miguel didn’t actually love her anymore.

“Jealous, y/n?” Miguel spoke, his face tilted a bit as he leaned against a table that had test tubes and computers on it. He knew you were jealous, he only acted that way with his unfaithful wife because he loved pissing you off.

“You wish, O’Hara. Even if I was, I can’t show it in our workplace. You made that very clear this morning.”

“and yet, you still can’t seem to follow simple instructions. I know I fucked you like the dumb slut you are but, I didnt know I made you even dumber by doing that” He grumbled under his breathe as he slowly walked towards you.

Your gaze follow every movement his body made as he walked towards you. The way his hair slightly moved, the way his smirk became bigger and the way he was just existing. To you, he was just so annoyingly perfect.

“Oh shut up, you said to act like we were friends when we were but even that is odd. We were always arguing so if one day we act like friends then it would be weird.” You sighed loudly. You turned back around to hide the fact that you were absolutely admiring him the whole time. You began to work on your computer again.

You were annoyed and jealous but you couldnt help but remember what happened last night…

~flashback to last night~

Your head was fuzzy, sweat drops going down your face, cheeks flushed, legs and knees against your chest, skin slapping and moans were the only noises that were in that room. He was causing all of that to happen.

“I hate you so much for this, O’Hara” You mumbled between loud moans escaping from your dry mouth. You were struggling to breathe already so talking made it worse. Before you could moan again, the big hand that was wrapped around your neck had tightened.

Miguel purred, “your body is saying something else”. He was bullying his girthy penis into your cunt, pulling it out almost all the way by just leaving his tip inside then harshly slamming his hips onto your ass. He let go of your neck and held onto the back of your knees. Even if he let go of your neck, you were still lightheaded from being cut off from some air for a while.

You knew deep down that it was wrong to be doing this on the same bed he shared with his own wife. You both knew that she tried to cheat on him before but it didn’t work. However, you still felt guilty doing this because you always acted like you hated him when you were paired up to work together in the lab but now all of a sudden, you were getting fucked by him on his bed that he shared with his wife.

You would have to worry about that later because right now, Miguel is using you like his own personal fuck-toy that he could fuck however, whenever and wherever he wants.

He kept thrusting his girthy cock into your cunt, pressing your legs close to your chest, looking down as he watches his cock leave and enter your dripping, wet, swollen pussy. He watched in admiration as your thighs twitched, your back arched and whiny loud moans escaped from your mouth.

“Last round..i promise” Miguel whispered into your ear before softly nibbling on the tip of it.

He pulled his face away from your ears and caged your whole body in-between his arms and onto the bed. He pressed his body onto the back of your thighs to push your legs onto your chest, While the rest of your legs were over his shoulders.

His thrusts got sloppier and sudden with no rhythm, his breathe getting heavier yet quicker at the same time.

“Im close” you breathed out as you tried to use your legs over his shoulders to pull him in closer to kiss him but you couldn’t. You whined softly, you desperately needed to kiss him.

Miguel noticed you desperate attempt to kiss him and quickly changed the position of your legs and wrapped them around his hips as he continued to sloppily thrust into you.

He kissed you roughly. He kissed you like you were just there to fuck and not because he loved you but, it still felt like he was hungry for your lips. You were both so into the kiss that you both failed to notice that you already reached your climaxes at the same time.

Eventually you both had to break apart from the kiss to catch your breathes. You both were breathing unevenly and quickly. You and him looked down at the same time to find eachothers’ bodily fluids dripping down eachother. Your pussy clenched around nothing as Miguel pulled his cum covered cock out, cum was dripping out of your pussy slowly.

You slowly sit up on the edge of his bed and looked up at him. He still looked so attractive even while he was sweating and his hair was all messy. His body was glazed with sweat and marks that you had left him from the previous rounds.

“Don’t just stare, hermosa” he cooed as he took small step forward and lifted your chin up.

“I would let you go home but your whole body is weak and sticky” He whispered in your ear before he picked you up softly and walked away from his bed and into his bathroom.

~present~

You felt someone blowing cold air onto the back of your neck which made you slightly jump before you mutter some curses under your breathe. You still hadn’t turned around since you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing your angry face.

“Mi vida, no seas tan celosa”

“Eres como un niño inmaduro. Siempre tratas de encontrar maneras de hacerme enojar.” You bickered

You were so tired of him already teasing you the whole day and when his wife came, it just made your whole mood worse. He had told you first thing in the morning when he saw you already at the shared lab that both of you worked in, ‘we’re going to act like how we did before that whole mess yesterday. Maybe we can even be friends? After all, we only did that cause i was mad and needed to release stress’ you were sad to hear that you were only there for him to use but its not like you ever had a chance to date him.

“Pobre bebé, tan celosa y enojada”. Miguel knew just how to get under your skin. He’s done it before multiple times and he’ll continue to do it. However, he only did it before because he was trying to hide how badly he wanted to fuck you but now he did it so you could get riled all and then he can fuck you until you forget all about how mad you were. You had only fucked once but he wanted more now.

“Maldito idiota” you gritted through your teeth. You loved arguing with him before but now, after last night, it was different, it just felt like he was messing with you.

“Don’t be so mad at me y/n, I really do love you. I just have to pretend like I still love her you know? I can’t just divorce her immediately after finding out she tries cheating on me. I have to keep acting like this.” His voice softens when he tells you that.

You decided to pretend to ignore him, even if his words meant something to you and made your heart, stomach and mind flutter.

Miguel doesn’t like being ignore so he spins you around on your chair and makes you look at him.

“Y/n, please, perdóname, Mi vida.” He mumbled before immediately kissing your neck softly. Whispering sweet nothings in between kisses. You hated him for knowing how to get under your kiss and also how to make you feel better.

“Just cause we argued all the time before and I acted like I hated you, I never once actually thought that. I’ve always loved you, It sounds wrong because im married but atleast I never made a move on you until I figured out my wife tried to cheat on me” He groaned while still kissing your neck softly and picking you up from your check and wrapping your legs around his waist.

“I-I believe you, O’Hara. I’ve always liked you too but you can’t just say that you love me and fondle another woman like that in front of me. Even if shes your wife” You whine while he placed you on your desk softly, you kept your legs wrapped around his waist but also your arms around his neck. You pulled his face closer and kissed him, the kiss was filled with passion and love.

After a bit of kissing, you both ran out of breathe and pulled away to catch your breathes.

“¿quieres ser mi secreto?” He questioned as he looked into your needy eyes full with love. He wanted nothing more than to just have you be his and let him be yours, even if it was a secret for now.

“Obvio” you cooed before giving a small peck on his cheek and giggling while your arms and legs were still wrapped around him.

“Perfect, then how about we continue where we left off of last night?”

I hate this so much!!! I can’t write even if my life depended on it. But y’all should totally give me requests!!!

[short-skirt-longjackett]

Renewal Isn’t a Lie Anymore pt. 8

(I’ve had this idea for a while now and I’m acting on it 👀👀)

-Edward Nashton x gn! reader

-warnings: nsfw, masturbating, recorded sex, blowjob, unprotected sex, facial

Bruce spent the next few days away in his cave, seeing articles such as, “Bruce Wayne cheats on Y/n Wayne!” or “The Wayne Marriage and how it ended so quickly.”

He felt absolutely horrible, you were all over the news but no word from you. Bruce knew he fucked up and put your name on the line. The public was on your side, but it seems the rich men was on Bruce’s side. These men cheated on their wives all the time, now he’s just like them.

Bruce kept himself busy by working out, going out to see who the Riddler was, and be there at crime scenes to “help”. Bruce was in his cave, re watching last night’s events as he always does…But he does miss when you would come down and bring him to bed.

He kept himself busy as he heard a ping from his one computer, he pulled up his email to see he was sent a video from a unknown email address. He knew this could’ve meant one or two things. Someone was sending him a bullshit email or..the person he’s been after.

He hesitated before clicking on the email, his big screen now black was shortly cut to ‘the Riddler’ sitting there in front of a green sheet with a white question mark.

“Bruce....Wayne.. We meet again Bruce. Now I take it you saw the news where I showed everyone the truth about Bruce Wayne, but not the full truth,” he laughed, “I know you are the batman, Bruce. I pin pointed all the dots together…I solved this riddle.”

How does he know? What did he do to give it away....fuck what about Y/n? Are they okay? Though he knows Y/n couldn’t care about Bruce’s worries, he still loves them them...

“Now, now, Bruce. I won’t tell everyone just yet, I have to make a big surprise. Soon everyone will know the masked vigilante named Batman...and for you to keep your sanity, just know Y/n Wayne is in very good hands.”  he chuckled lowly. The hell did this sociopath mean by that?

The video cut to show Y/n sucking on what can on be the Riddler’s dick. He kept pushing their head down, his gloved hand gripping your hair, “Fuck....you’re doing amazing angel. Keep taking it..show Bruce how much you enjoy my cock instead of his..” the masked man groaned, his mask muffling his voice. Bruce watched you oblige, he didn’t know if the Riddler kidnapped you...or you went out to find him.

But seeing you act so obedient turned him on...He knew he shouldn’t feel this way, you’re his after all, but this was hot. He felt a twitch in his pants but ignored it.

You looked up at the camera, smiling almost while sucking the mystery man off. You kept making eye contact as you took him in all the way. The masked man groaned, his grip tightening on your hair. He kept you in that spot till you pulled away, saliva dripping from your mouth, your spit connecting from you mouth to his cock.

Bruce felt his hand slip down to his pants, palming himself through the fabric. As he watched you bob your head up and down again, he pulled himself out of his pants, his hand matching to your head movements. You pulled your head away, your hand wrapping around his shaft as you caught your breath, “Come on angel, tell me you love it..” he groaned as you smiled up at him, “I love it..I love taking it down my throat..” you moaned, going back to sucking. 

Bruce always loved to see you submissive, taking every order he gave you, now he’s enjoying watching you be obedient to another man. He watched as the gloved man lightly push your head off, “Look at you, you’re so beautiful always... but now with all your saliva on my cock and dripping out of your mouth...you look perfect..” he held your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb, as you smiled, giggling as his praise.

The video soon cut abruptly to him bending you over, smacking your ass as you yelp, “Such a perfect body...It’s all mine now...” he said lowly, smacking your ass again. He showed himself stroking his cock before slipping it into you. Bruce stroked himself fast with the pace the Riddler was moving at. 

“Fuck..! You feel so good, please go faster..” you moaned, his gloved hand gripped your waist, fucking you faster. The camera was a bit shaky since he was thrusting into you, but that didn’t matter. Bruce just wanted to get off to you being fucked, you always looked perfect when you did.

He thrusted fast into you, huffing as you moaned loudly. He slapped your ass again, “Take it angel...Show that fucker, Bruce you loved being fucked by me..” he said, pulling your hair to look back at the camera. Your face was pure ecstasy, looking so fucked out. “Tell the camera how much of a slut you are for my cock, angel.” he stated, the words grating through his teeth. “I-I’m a slut for the Riddler’s cock!.. I am! I love it sooo much!” you moaned, eyes rolling back.

Bruce was so close, his breath was heavy and low. He placed his free hand over his mouth, watching you get fucked roughly. he focused on your face, god you looked so hot.

“I-I’m close..! I’m so close, please let me cum!” you begged, sounding desperate. “Okay angel, cum from my cock..do it, now..!” he commanded, thrusting harder. You cried out as Bruce finished, cumming over his desk.

The video cut abruptly again, seeing the glove stroke himself into your mouth, “Fuck…Good angel..” he groaned, cumming into your mouth. Bruce felt drained but it was so hot to see cum all over your face and your mouth.

He switched the camera around to show the the Riddler with foggy glasses, “Well then, I’ll leave you with that Bruce..Get cucked, asshole.” he said before the video ended.

Bruce couldn’t believe he just got off to someone else fucking his partner…Even though he did enjoy it…

Did he just say “get cucked” too?

[nojey]

reminiscing (fans 2)

dreamwastaken x streamer!reader

genre: angst pronouns: they / them word count: 2.1k warning(s): failed relationship, cursing

fans (part 1)

synopsis: after taking 6 months off from social media, you finally explain to your fans why you took so long and why you needed it.

go live. *click*

you watched as your chat strolled in and viewer count go up. your computer screen illuminating your face in the dark room as your webcam caught the nervous look. you were shaking your leg up and down, a habit you caught whenever you tried to calm yourself down. 

“hi everyone, it’s been a while since my last stream, huh?” you dryly chuckled. “it’s been about.. 6 months since i last streamed and at this point i think i’ve taken enough time to correctly word how i’m going to tell everyone why i decided to take a break from streaming.” you said looking down at the ground and fiddling with your fingers.

“uh, donation notifications will be off for this stream and chat will be on emotes only because i really just want to focus on getting this out. but if you plan on donating, thank you so much, really, it means the world to me.” you said finally looking at your webcam and smiling a bit. you read a chat and answer, “yes, i’m doing okay. i just have a big announcement i want to say after i tell you guys why i took a break.”

you took a deep breath in and started. “ over a year ago, almost 2, i met this guy through a friend and we started talking. it was very little at the beginning but as little as it was, his texts always made me smile.” you scratched the back of your neck. “and as time went on, we started talking more and more and he just became part of my daily routine. when i woke up i’d see a good morning text from him, we’d spend most of our day being on the phone with each other, i was even on facetime with him most of my streams but i had an airpod under my headset so you couldn’t really see it, i almost always fell asleep on facetime with him. i really fell for this guy.” you fondly smiled, looking at your desk, where your phone used to be propped up and you would see clays face just looking at you.

“then we started streaming together. ‘omg he’s a streamer too’ yeah, and a lot of you probably know who i’m talking about at this point but i still won’t disclose who it is. i uh, got a lot of messages from you guys telling me that i looked super happy that stream and i was. i was always happy when i talked to him. but along with those messages i also got a lot of hate, telling me to stay away from him. it didn’t really bother me because i always get hate when i stream with my guy friends; i was used to it.” you said, taking a sip from your water then wiping the side of your eye as it teared up. 

“and today... i’ll be going on the dream smp! with the man himself, dream. dream, say hi now.” you introduced, you waited a few seconds but was only met with silence. you grabbed your phone and sent him a voice message, “clay! you’re on deafen! introduce yourself!” you screamed into your phone. dream then took himself off deafen and said. “hi (y/s/n)’s chat! i’m dream, i’ll be showing (y/n) around the smp today and we’re gonna get started on their house.” you smiled fondly when you heard him speak. “yeah! what dream said!” 

so you both logged into the dream smp, said hi to sapnap, and dream gave you a tour. you then started building your house in a forest, quite far from everyone else, “i don’t want anyone bothering you or ruining your house when you’re not on.” he explained. you told dream you wanted to build a cottage so if anyone does end up stumbling upon it, it looks welcoming to them. so dream started building your house for you even though you insisted you do it together. “dream! let me help, this is supposed to be my house.” you dragged. “well we can both decorate inside and make it our house.” you started blushing. “i guess..” you mumbled. you then started adventuring out to look for flowers and some things to decorate the house with.

you started placing flowers down into flower pots when you noticed something. “dream there’s only one bedroom.” you mentioned. he slowly turned around to look at you and quickly turned back and placed two beds next to each other. “this is our room, dumbass.”

later that night you checked your twitter dms and saw many people telling you to stop talking to dream and that you weren’t good enough to even know him. you sighed and powered down your phone.

“i think a few weeks after that he asked me if i could fly out to him and we’d meet in person. i was so excited i immediately started packing and i met him. it was amazing! i got to meet the guy i’ve been in love with for the past few months. i think it may have been a year already. but yeah, i finally got to meet him and being in his arms was the best feeling in the world, i felt so safe being with him.”

“it was the day after that, when he asked me on a date and i, of course, said yes. like who would say no to the person they fell in love with... so we went on a date and at the end of it we were just sitting on top of the hood of the car, eating dinner, watching the sunset and talking about a future we wanted together. and it may seem like we were moving fast but i knew 7 months into talking to him that he felt the same way about me. no matter if either of us disclosed it. i could tell and i knew he knew the same about me. then i went home and everything was perfect, i wasn’t his girlfriend yet though because we wanted to wait a bit.”

“that’s when everything went downhill, i think” you looked up to try to stop the tears from going down your face, but they fell anyways so you just let it be.

“we started streaming more and more and i started getting more hate than i usually got, this time getting death threats, people threatening to leak my address if i didn’t stop being friends with him. it was crazy but i was willing to endure it all for him. who cares what people on the internet are going to say to me? i really didn’t because i was happy enough with him that, that happiness overcame whatever type of hate i was getting.” tears kept falling from your eyes but you didn’t bother to wipe it, knowing it would just keep happening.

“dude you’re so annoying! you definitely cheated!” you screamed as you died. through your headset you could hear clay wheezing. “there was no way i was cheating!” he said through his laughs. “ask my chat, they saw the whole thing.” you breathed out, not wanting to believe him till a dono was sent to you, “yeah, (y/n) you just suck at this game,” you gasped, your jaw hanging then you started pouting. it was clipped and one of your viewers sent it to dream. he suddenly started laughing harder and you asked him why he was laughing, with a pout still on your face. “even your chat knows i didn’t cheat!” you started laughing too, till you read a message in the chat saying, “ew, their laugh is ugly. i don’t know why dream likes them.” you stopped laughing but kept a fake smile on your face.

“then he called me and he told me that he didn’t think we should be dating anymore, or even be friends. and i think it was because he saw the hate i was getting and he didn’t like that. he told me a different reason as to why he didn’t think we should date anymore but i didn’t believe it, but i let him go. because i was not going to force him to be with me if he really did mean it. “ you said, sniffling after so you didn’t sound too congested as you spoke.

after you hung up, you curled into a ball and cried. you cried, and cried, and cried. the feeling in your chest hurting more than you could ever imagine. you just lost the guy you wanted to marry, the guy you had spent over a year going to because of your problems, the guys you saw having kids with, the guy that made everything worth it. he was the only person on your mind as the pain in your chest grew. you tweeted and powered your phone off straight after. you didn’t want anyone messaging you asking what was wrong, knowing your friends they would do that. 

“so the reason i took a break from streaming was because of that. because i resented the people that sent me hate so much i couldn’t bring myself to stream. i didn’t resent them because they sent me hate. i resent them because the hate they sent me caused the guy i really wanted to be with to make me believe he didn’t love me like i love him.” now, you were sobbing, letting your cry’s out because you had been holding them in for too long. 

it had been a few months and you were on snapchat, seeing that you had a memory a year ago today, you checked it. “i think i literally met my soulmate.” with a picture of you and clay in a discord call. your breath got caught in your throat and your breathing became labored. your eyes started stinging as the tears started falling. it’s happening again, all the pain from the day you stopped talking to him came back and once again, you were crying into your hands and you couldn’t stop.

“i had always known that becoming a streamer i would get hate, but i never thought that i would get enough hate to prevent a relationship i really wanted to work. now all i do is reminisce of a guy i wish could be mine”

“streaming has brought me so many opportunities and i am so grateful for everything you guys have done for me, and for me to be able to do something i love and make money from it is insane to me. you guys have given me everything i ever wanted in life up until that point and i am so grateful and appreciative of that. you guys gave me friendships that i will never lose and never forget. so many of you have told me that i’ve saved you and changed your lives but trust me when i say you guys have saved me and changed my life too. i hope i repaid you back by making you smile, being your comfort streamer, and being a support system for each of you. but i think this is my end of the road. i fucking love streaming, i love you guys. but every time i click that “go live” button or even try to, all i think about is him and that’s too painful for me right now. maybe in the future i’ll find my way back here but i can’t promise that.”

“thank you guys, so, so, so, so, much for every single opportunity given to me, for everything. i love you all. my dms are still open. and this was (y/s/n), signing off for possibly the last time. goodbye everyone.”

end stream. *click*

a tear rolling down his face and falling onto his keyboard as he watched you finally say goodbye to your stream. it all just felt like you were saying your last goodbye to him again. 

for the last 6 months all clay could do was think about you and how he wished he just messaged you and told you he was sorry and didn’t mean what he said. that he misses you and he would quit streaming if that meant he could be with you. that all he wanted was to feel you in his arms again and just live out the future you two planned together. 

but if you just said goodbye to your chat for your last stream because you couldn’t stand the thought of him whenever you tried to stream. how could you ever forgive him?

the thought of never speaking to you hit him once more and again, he cried, sobbed, screamed, threw things, and even then, he knew.. you would never be coming back to him, with every fiber in his being, wishing you would.

—————

taglist: @loxbbg @bozowrites @noahsfag @sparklykeylime @bi-narystars @axths @cheybaee @letsloveimagines @meatte @julesamen21 @classyunknownlover @bad268 @strawbrinkofdeath

[ashintheairlikesnow]

For Kauri and Chris: it doesn't work as well as you hoped, does it?

(follows Time Apart)

CW: Former pet whumpee, past noncon references, fucky headspace around consent and SERIOUSLY misconstrued response to assault, some hardcore angst going on here, internalized victim-blaming

Chris feels fingers move through his hair, gently sweeping the shaggy copper to one side, and opens his eyes to see Kauri leaning over him. His wide blue eyes are warm, understanding.

"I saw Laken leave," Kauri says, gentle, and sits next to where Chris has curled up on his side on his bed. His fingers continue to run through Chris's hair, tingling over his scalp, a soft and subtle reassurance, words he doesn't have to hear. You are good, you are a good boy. "You want to tell me what happened?"

Chris closes his eyes again, turning his face to his sheets, to the faint scent of laundry detergent and the soft rustle of them against his skin. He tries not to see Laken's face, reddened and wet with tears, as they walked away. "We, we broke up."

Kauri's fingers pause - and then start up again, the moment so barely-there that even Chris almost misses it. "You broke up? Did they break up with you, or you with them?"

"Um. I, I, I thought they broke up with, um, with with me but then when they came over, they hadn't? But we just-... I, I broke... I broke up with them." His voice trembles, throat threatening to close up around the words, and he exhales, rocking himself forward and back where he lays, rubbing his hands reflexively over the seams of his pants, seeking out the soothing feeling of the texture there. "I told them I, I, I can't be with them anymore. I made them go."

This can't be the end, Chris. Not like this. Laken looked like he'd slapped them, their face pale and red both at once, eyes wide, dark pools demanding he take it back. This can't be the end of the line for us.

Then, then, then what is? Just, just go. I don't-... I don't, don't, don't want this any longer, for you. You shouldn't-... I, I, I'm... just go home, Laken. You shouldn't, shouldn't have, have wanted a whore anyway.

Chris. You know you're not-

I know I am! I, I, I almost had-... I almost-... I almost cheated on you last night!

Laken had swallowed, lips barely moving. You what?

I let, I, I, I let someone touch me, and it felt good, you know? It felt good. I, I, I got-... I, I got turned on by it. Like a fucking- He'd heard Handler Petrus in his mind, felt him against his back, the weight and heat of him, whispering into his ear while he sobbed. I'm still just a fucking slut. I'm, I'm, I'm still what I was, and it won't ever stop and-... just fucking go, Laken! Just get out and, and, and and and and-... and, and-

Chris, please-

Just fucking go home!

Chris-... baby, god damn it, I don't care if you-

But I do! Get the fuck away from me!

They'd left. Chris had listened to their footsteps running down the stairs and out the door, heard their car pull out of the driveway, and he'd cried into his pillow until it was damp, until he couldn't hear their car any longer. His phone buzzed twice, a text from Ben and another one from Akio, but he didn't answer.

He didn't answer when they called after that.

He didn't answer Jake calling to him from downstairs, he didn't answer Antoni in the doorway, he didn't answer any of them at all. He just stayed right here, on his bed, and knocked his head into a pillow he held against the wall until he calmed down enough to stop.

And then he cried more.

His head pounds, a dull throb, and he feels dried out from all the tears. Like he'd been crusted with salt, like his professor who told the story about Lot's wife and Orpheus and Eurydice. Don't look back or you'll turn to salt, you'll go back down into the empty places alone.

He can't not look back.

He groans, smacking himself on the thighs reflexively, repeatedly, as if he can stop his thoughts that way.

Kauri doesn't try to stop him, only pulls his hand back to give Chris the space to move. "Did you want to break up with them?" He asks, simply. His voice is calm.

"No. Yes. I, I don't know." The seams of his pants aren't enough, and Chris breathes against the sense of a chaos inside of himself, a swirling mix of self-hatred and grief. His hands move up to tap on his stomach. Finger-twist-tap-tap-tap. It doesn't help as much as he needs it to. "I didn't... want them to, to, to have to be with me."

"I think Laken is capable of making that choice for themself." Kauri sits slowly back against the headboard, breathing out, his eyes moving over the messy contents of the bedroom. The pictures Chris has taped haphazardly up on the walls, the shelf with his stim toys on it, his computer on the desk half-buried in a pile of clean clothes he hasn't folded. "If they want to be with you, that's their decision. Do you want to be with them?"

Chris wants to say yes, but the word sticks in his throat. His heart pounds inside him, all out of rhythm. He just nods against his sheets, and feels Kauri brush fingers through his hair again. "But, but, but, but I'm, I'm not worth it, I'm t-too hard, I'm still a, a, a pet too much."

There's a silence. Then, "Is that what you really think?"

He'd love to be able to say no. He'd love to be able to say he's being dramatic. But instead, in a small, soft voice, Chris whispers, "I just. I just. I, I, I don't know a-any-anymore. I... Yes."

Kauri is quiet, and then his hands are on Chris's face, wiping away with his thumb a tear Chris hadn't even realized had escaped. Chris had flinched from the same gesture when Laken did it, but he holds for Kauri.

"Oh, honey. I used to think that, too." Kauri sighs, and Chris opens his eyes, looking up at him, seeing a faraway expression.

He shifts, moving to rest his head on Kauri's thigh, a silent request for the petting through his hair to begin again.

Kauri smiles, a little faintly, a little sad. His fingers move over Chris's scalp, settle over the top of his scar, start again. "I did that for years, Chris. I told myself I was a pet, just another Romantic, that I deserved everything I did to myself and I didn't deserve anything better. I woke up in alleyways and on park benches and sometimes in the beds of guys I couldn't remember meeting. I got... I got hurt by some of them, and I told myself it was what I wanted. I got drugged a few times, I drugged myself a bunch more. I tried to make myself not want to be cared about anymore."

Chris thinks about the taste of gin and olives down his throat, throwing back dirty martinis until he threw them back up again, until he couldn't stop hearing Sir's voice inside his head, feeling his lips against the back of his neck. Hands on his hips, phantom ghost touch, moving him into position.

"It... didn't work as well as I'd hoped. Every time I told myself I didn't deserve love, even when I believed it... that didn't mean I didn't still want it. Need it, even. But I wanted, so badly-..." Kauri's voice catches, and his eyes close, briefly, as he steadies himself. "I wanted to make sure everyone around me hated me as much as I hated myself. But God, Chris, it hurts so much to live that way. Don't... don't be like me. It took me years to realize I didn't deserve that pain, that I didn't deserve to be punished for leaving Owen."

Chris is silent, now. Kauri's voice is always almost hypnotizing, deep and a little melodic, and it settles some of the buzzing awful noise inside of him.

"I had to learn-... to accept... that what happened to me makes up a lot of who I am, because it was the thing that made me, but it isn't all of who I am. And if I keep repeating the patterns I came up with to protect myself... I'm not really protecting myself at all." Kauri smiles, a little. "I'm only laying siege to myself, and I'm the only one who starves inside the walls. I-... I built those walls, and Jake kept trying to knock them down, and I kept building them higher. And Nat would throw food over the wall, and I'd throw it back. And... I think I got a little off track. My point is that... is that I shattered myself, over and over again, because shattered is what I was taught to be. But eventually I had to admit that breaking myself into pieces was just cutting me up, not anyone else. Do you understand?"

Chris swallows, his throat opening a little bit, and he hums. Kauri's leg is warm against his ear and his cheek, his hand is warm over his hair. Chris grips onto the silicone feather he wears always on a cord around his neck and runs it over his lips, feeling the carved vanes move against thin, sensitive skin. "Kind of."

"You try to see the light in everything," Kauri says, and the love in his voice makes Chris smile despite all his pain. "That's always been what made you stronger than me, Chris. You saw the world as full of good things you were here to discover. You never hated yourself like I did. I don't want you to start now."

"How... how did you, um, did you learn to to to stop?"

Another long exhale. Outside, two birds are singing in the trees. "Time, mostly," Kauri says, finally. "And... that guy I went home with once, when I came back all... fucked up. Remember that?"

"Y, yeah."

"I realized... I realized, when Jake was helping me up the stairs, that every time I tried to push him away, he was still there. And every time I hurt him, or Nat, or Antoni, they were still there. And that you were-... you were so new, Chris, and I was teaching you this really awful idea that you can't get better, and I couldn't do that any longer. I couldn't. It's not instant, and there are backslides, and some days getting out of bed is the hardest thing I've ever done. But I do, because I love the life I've made, and I know you love yours. You worked so hard for this, Chris, for everything you are and you've done since you came to live with Nat. Don't give that up because... because you're struggling. Don't let them win by convincing you you can't be anything else."

"I'm so-... it feels like a shell," Chris says, and pushes himself up to sitting, legs out to one side, tucking his head into the crook of Kauri's neck. The older man's arms move around his waist, holding him close, one hand moving up to keep stroking through his hair as he bites down on the feather, chewing on the familiar plastic. "Like I, I, I built a shell, and when Nova-... it cracked."

"Yeah. I know how that feels." Kauri turns his head, pressing a kiss to the top of Chris's hair, easy and comfortable. Chris hums around his feather, rocking just a little. The rising tide of grief inside him threatens to become a wave he can't withstand. He pushed Laken away, too far away, he made them leave him.

He broke up with them.

He made them go.

He can't take that back.

"Listen to me," Kauri whispers, lips against his scalp. "When I was at my lowest, when I hated myself the most, when I demanded Jake abandon me to what I kept telling myself I wanted... he didn't. He was still there. He was still there, and even if we weren't going to be together, he was still willing to help me stand up as a friend. When I was nothing but pieces drawing blood, he still loved me. He loved the pieces as much as the person, and he helped me put myself back together. It's not perfect. It's not overnight. And you'll still have hard days. But it's worth it, Chris."

"Why? Why, why, why is it worth it?"

"Because the world is beautiful," Kauri says, repeating his own long-ago words back to him, and Chris almost smiles. "Because I love the world, now, Chris, and I decided to try as hard as I can to love myself. I learned that from you."

"What if-... what if, if, if it's too late? What if I can't t-talk to them, or-"

"Then we'll stand you back up from there, and start moving forward again. You'll never lose us, we're family, Chris. But I think you should talk to Laken, and tell them what you're feeling, and let them decide how to react instead of deciding for them. They love you." Kauri puts a hand under his chin and lifts it, so their eyes meet. "Let them love you hurting just as much as they do when you're not."

"What if I don't... want to try any longer?"

"Then we'll be here to help you through that, too. All of it. Any of it. For better or worse, Chris, I'm your big brother - and so is Jake, and so is Antoni - and you're stuck with us whether you like it or not."

Chris tucks his head back down so Kauri can't see the tears well back up and run down, even as they soak into his shirt. His teeth grind down on the silicone plastic between them.

"I, I, I fucked up, Kauri," he whimpers, and then starts to sob. "I didn't-... I, I, I just don't w-want to be in m-my body anymore..."

Kauri holds him close.

"I h-hate it, I hate it, I hate it," Chris wails, and Kauri rests his chin on Chris's head and lets him cry. "I hate being p-pretty, I hate my, my, my, I hate that they made my body like this, I hate that I g-get scared and and and, and, and I can't stop things from happening to me, I h-hate that I hurt Laken, I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it!"

"I know," Kauri whispers. "I know, honey. I know."

"I h-hate myself-"

"Sssshhhh, I know."

Chris doesn't know how long he cries for.

But eventually he falls asleep in Kauri's arms.

-

@burtlederp @finder-of-rings @endless-whump @whumpfigure @astrobly @newandfiguringitout @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @boxboysandotherwhump @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @downriver914 @whumptywhumpdump @whumpiary @orchidscript @nonsensical-whump @outofangband @eatyourdamnpears

Playlist for this piece:

Lewis Capaldi: Hold Me While You Wait Rob Thomas: Pieces Vienna Teng: Between Aerelie Brighton: Breathe Josh Ritter: Girl in the War Beth Crowley: Runaway Train

[kybervisions]

midnight at wayne manor [clark]

summary: during a new years party at wayne manor, a drunk reader makes a move on clark. feelings long buried resurface, which leads to a clark breaking up with lois.  

author’s note: i love chaos,, this was just a small and quick idea that popped into my head while working on another clark one-shot,,feel free to send requests!! clark does try to be a good boyfriend to lois buuut......still a soft!clark fic bc im pretty sure he gets manhandled in this??? 

tags: cheating, dry humping, intoxicated!reader, reader is kind of a maneater in this ngl, kinda angsty   

They should have stayed home, that was Clark’s immediate thought upon laying eyes on you. The wind had been knocked out of him and he felt frozen in time as you approached them with a bright smile. Your dress fit your body perfectly, complimenting your shape in a sexy red faux leather mini dress, and then your eyes met. Dazzling and alluring. Clark almost forgot about Lois standing beside him, but she grabbed his arm and dragged him to greet you. 

“Happy New Year!” Lois exclaimed as she went in for a hug. “Your house looks amazing by the way,” 

“Thank you,” You chuckled and hugged Lois. “I didn’t think you’d be coming,” You kissed Lois’s cheek and withdrew from the hug. Clark knew you would go to him next. He knew it was just a friendly greeting, but he couldn’t keep himself composed if your body was wrapped tightly around his. 

So, he extended his arm and went for a handshake.

Clark saw a flash of hurt in your eyes, which you quickly covered with a happy face, and he felt like he had been punched in the gut. 

“Almost didn’t,” Lois laughed. “But our schedule cleared up,”

“Good,” You smiled. “Alfred and I spent too much time planning this for people not to enjoy it,”

“Where’s Bruce?” Clark looked around the room.

“My dear brother has locked himself in his room,” You said rather somberly. Again, the sadness in your eyes impacted him. Clark wanted you to be happy, and he needed to be the reason for putting a smile on your face. “Like a fucking child,”

Lois chuckled nervously, uncomfortable with the turn in the conversation. Clark takes a step closer to you, “Do you want me to talk to him? Try and convince him to come up?” He asked. 

“No...I kinda want you to beat his ass,” You said, and you shared a small smile. “He knows how much this party means to me and doesn’t care enough to show up,”

“I’m going to get some drinks,” Lois said, wanting to leave such a personal conversation. After all, she and you had never been close. You met Lois through Clark, but Lois had written about you long before Clark became Superman. You’ve kept a cordial relationship with her, in the name of team bonding. 

So, Lois quickly exited the scene. 

“I’ll rough him up for you,” Clark chuckled and pushed his glasses up with his index finger.

The sudden alertness in your eyes should have told him not to follow you to the Batcave. When you grabbed his arm and interlocked your fingers with his, he should have pulled away, but he let you lead him deeper into the manor, away from the party. 

Clark turned a corner, and you pushed him against a wall. The attack took him by surprise, but he didn’t fight you off. He felt your lips on his and melted. His mind went fuzzy. All he could focus on was you and the feeling of you against him.

He kissed you back. Desperately. Like you’d disappear and he’d never be able to kiss you again. Clark grabbed your hips and switched your positions — having your back against the wall as he thrust his crotch against your wet core. 

Being so close to you made Clark delirious. He should have stopped it, but instead, he deepened your kiss. He tasted the tequila and weed on your tongue, which reminded him you weren’t in the right state of mind, and that completely shattered this little paradise.

“You’re so warm,” You slurred in a whisper. 

“Y/N, you’re drunk,” He tried to hide his hurt. It wasn’t some confession of love from you. It was something fun for you to do while drunk, which broke his heart.

“Hmhmm,” You nodded. “And high,” You smiled. “Want some?” You tried to kiss him again. He turned his head to avoid your lips touching. 

“We can’t,” Clark struggled to pull himself away from you. 

“Because of Lois?” You asked.

“Oh, god, Lois,” Clark ran his fingers through his hair, panicking at the mention of his girlfriend. “I’m sorry,” He apologized. “I shouldn’t have let you do this,” He looked deeply into your confused eye. 

“You don’t have to apologize, Clark,” You smiled. “I wanted to kiss you,” You took a step toward Clark, closing the space between you. “I want to do a lot more than that,” You added, reaching for his crotch.

“O-oh,” Clark whispered as your hands teased his hardened cock through the dress pants. You kissed his neck, and Clark shut his eyes. “Please, don’t,”

You immediately pulled away.

Clark opened his eyes but didn’t see you standing in front of him. He turned around, looked down the hallway, but saw nothing. Only when he used his enhanced vision did he see you had made it to the Batcave. He looked at his watch, which read 11:38pm and sped down to the cave. 

When he reached the control computer, he could hear you crying. Bruce was holding you and looked at Clark with an angry expression. Your tears were his fault, somehow. Confused, but desperate to make you feel better, Clark approaches you.

“Lotta nerve making a girl cry on her birthday,” Bruce said callously. 

It stung.

“You’re not not guilty either, asshole,” You punched Bruce’s shoulder. 

“Ow, fine, I’ll leave,” He kissed your temple, “Love you, spider-monkey,” You rolled your eyes at the nickname. Bruce shot a death glare at Clark before exiting the Batcave to join the festivities.

Your eye makeup had smeared, with black tears running down your cheeks. You looked a mess, which Clark still found endearing.

“What’s wrong?” He asked in a soft tone. 

“I didn’t think you were coming,” You hiccupped. “Soo I drank a lot really fast,” You continued, almost embarrassed to explain your emotions. “Because I really wanted you here and I felt sad but then you showed up and I got really happy and you look so good right now and I’m really drunk and—” To save you your breath, Clark kissed you.

He moved your hair, cupped your face, and passionately kissed you. He wanted this, you, for so long, Clark didn’t care it would inevitably hurt Lois. 

You shoved him away and tears filled your eyes, “We can’t, remember?” Lois. “I’m such a horrible person,” You began to cry. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, I shouldn’t have done that to Lois,” Your eyes were red and puffy from crying. 

Clark hugged you. He wrapped his arms around your body, tiny in comparison to his stature, and he just held you.

“I look good tonight?” Clark asked after a few seconds of comfortable silence. 

You burst into laughter, and Clark was happy to see you smile again. “Yeah, like a sexy librarian,” Your eyes met.

“How long have —

“I don’t even know when it started,” You answered his unfinished question. “All I know is that I looked at you one day and I wasn’t afraid of it anymore,” 

Right. The unspeakable ‘it’. You’d been so scared of falling in love with your best friend that you patiently watched him date another woman for nearly a year.

“But by then, it was too late,” 

“It’s never too late,” Clark asserted. Despite his relationship with Lois, he didn’t feel at home. He’d never experienced a passion like you. Lois tried her best to keep him happy, but her efforts were pointless. “I love you, Y/N,” He confessed.

“I wanna fuck you so bad,” You blurted out. 

“Dear God, woman,” Clark laughed at your explicit commentary. “I’ll break things off with Lois first, alright? So we can both try and keep some semblance of a conscience,” 

“...tonight?” 

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

"You got a death wish?" Kelso and Hyde

OR

"You can't just keep pretending things are fine!" Red and Hyde

Hey, so I probably won’t post the new RYLH chapter today because I’M EXHAUSTED. I know I promised but please be patient I’m sensitive.

Anyway, since I can’t post the whole chapter because I’m really not in the mood to get my computer, here’s a ficlet from the prompt game that’s been sitting on my drafts since forever! Enjoy!

Trigger warning for Kelso being a self-entitled dick, lol.

(In this scenario, Kelso finds out about Jackie and Hyde a few weeks later, so their relationship is a little stronger, and he decides to confront them when they’re in the basement with everyone just chilling. Donna and Eric are in-character so they’re cool in this, hence why Kelso didn’t find out about them sooner. They covered for them).

“Don’t worry, his brain will stop working soon enough. He has a word limit” Hyde whispered in Jackie’s ear, and she silently giggled.

She was sitting on his lap, resting her head on his chest and playing with his fingers as he held her close to him, both of them trying to tone out Kelso’s annoying voice and he kept on rambling about how Hyde “dogged” him and how “creepy and unnatural” they are as a couple. 

"This is Jackie and Hyde!" Kelso said, pointing at the couple "Jackie and Hyde! They hate each other!"

"Well, clearly not anymore" Eric mumbled as he started to suck on his popsicle, staring at Donna's exposed legs. Thank God for catholic schools.

Donna slapped the back of her boyfriend's head "Perv" She muttered under her breath

"YOU GUYS! THIS IS IMPORTANT!" Kelso yelled, trying to get everyone's attention "Jackie and Hyde are together! As a couple! In what world would this be right?!"

"I don't know, I kind of saw it coming," Donna said "I mean, if you think about it, they fit, in their own, twisted way"

"I saw it coming too," Fez added, not taking his eyes off the TV "They always had spark and chemistry. For example, whenever Jackie and Hyde argued about something, I got needs from all the sexual tension, and whenever you and Jackie argued, I got annoyed and left the room"

"And after you and Jackie got back together the second time, Jackie did mention an awful lot how Hyde is a better kisser than you..." Donna said

Jackie blushed and Hyde smiled smugly as Kelso's jaw dropped.

"UH!" Kelso shrieked

"Lumberjacks have even bigger mouths than cheerleaders" Jackie muttered, crossing her arms and glaring at Donna, who was laughing at Kelso along with Hyde, Eric, and Fez.

"When did you two kiss?!" Kelso asked indignantly "Did you cheat on me with Hyde too?! Wasn't the cheese guy enough, Jackie?!"

Jackie raised an eyebrow, and Hyde immediately stopped laughing, his face hardening into a scowl.

"Tell me he didn't mention the cheese guy" Eric whispered in Donna's ear

"Nop, he did" Donna whispered back, watching the scene in front of her, wondering if she should be entertained or annoyed.

"How long have you two been having an affair behind my back?!” Kelso stopped pacing and glared at the couple.

Hyde was staring at Kelso like he wanted to kill him with his bare hands, and Jackie’s face was red from a mix of anger and embarrassment.

“And Jackie, you’re such a...”

"If you finish that sentence Michael, I swear to God..." Jackie interrupted him, getting up from her boyfriend’s lap to glare at her ex.

“You’ll what?! Kiss someone else?! Because you already did that, twice!”  

“I fear we’re seeing the last moments of our friend Kelso,” Fez said, taking a candy bar from his pocket

“If he keeps his behavior, he won’t be my friend for long, I can tell you that” Donna muttered angrily, and Eric nodded in agreement.

“I’m surprised Hyde didn’t kill him yet,” Eric said, watching as Jackie started to tear Kelso apart with her words.

“And Steven is such a better kisser than you! You’re nothing compared to him, and I mean that in every conceivable way, Michael! Just leave us alone!” Jackie yelled, but Kelso didn’t flinch

"He’s not! You know what? Kiss me right here, right now! Then you can tell me who's a better kisser!" Kelso said, taking a step towards Jackie and placing his hand on her shoulder.

"You got a death wish?" Hyde hissed as he pushed Kelso away from Jackie, shoving him into the wall "Touch her again and you're dead"

"That's not fair! She's mine!" Kelso whined, trying to free himself from Hyde’s tight grasp. He sent a pleading look at his friends sitting on the couch, but they didn’t move “Guys! A little help here?!”

"Nah, I’m good,” Eric said, wrapping his arms around his angry girlfriend’s shoulders

“Kick his ass, Hyde!” Donna yelled from her seat, and Kelso shrieked in indignation again.

“Fez! Little buddy! Come on!” He pleaded

“You, my friend, are a whore!” Fez said “Jackie and Hyde have sparks and chemistry, and you and Jackie didn’t! Get over it!”

“No! I’m not going to get over it! Jackie’s mine!”

“I’m not! We broke up months ago, you moron!” Jackie said angrily “And I want to be with Steven. Not you. Steven! Got it?!”

“But...”

Kelso tried to escape again, but Hyde’s grip on him tightened and Kelso started having trouble breathing.

“Kelso, get the fuck out of here before I kill you” Hyde hissed at him

“No! I’ll...” Kelso choked out, but Hyde interrupted him

“I’m saying, get out, and go cool off”

“But Jackie...”

“Go cool off, Kelso” Hyde repeated threateningly, and Kelso gulped in fear “And until you’re cool with the fact that Jackie and I are together, and are going to stay together, you can’t come back here”

“This isn’t even your basement!” Kelso tried to argue, looking at Eric, but the boy just shrugged

“Actually, he literally lives here, so the basement is more his than mine at this point,” Eric said “And I agree with Hyde. You’re being a dick and you shouldn’t come back until you... y’know, stop being a dick”

“Fine!” Kelso yelled, and Hyde let him go. Kelso stomped his way out of the basement, making sure to slam the door on his way out, and Jackie walked over to Hyde, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“If he doesn’t leave me alone, I won’t be hanging out here anymore,” She said, and Hyde hugged her back, tucking her head under his chin.

“Don’t worry about it, Jackie” Donna said, smiling at the cute sight in front of her “We got your back”

[hyuckssunchip]

[5:34 pm]

Pairings: Jeno x Reader, ft. Haechan

Words: 1.3K

Warnings: Language (there is almost always language in my writings), fluff

Synopsis:

college studying boyfriend drabble

Jeno desperately is trying to do his homework as last minute as it can get. 

“Can I look at your homework?” You lifted your eyes from your computer to find Jeno shooting you those begging eyes that you could never resist.

“Jeno it’s due in like half an hour, but go for it.” You pulled the packet out of your backpack, sliding it to him. “You really shouldn’t wait so long. I’d have given it to you earlier if you just ask.”

He grinned, eyes crinkling as he opened up the booklet. “I didn’t have time, I was at practice all day yesterday.”

You ran your hands through your hair. “Too busy to ask for a picture? Honestly the amount of unnecessary stress that you get from this isn’t worth it.”

Jeno didn’t look up from his scribbling as he replied, “It’s not stressful, I know you’ll give it to me.”

You rolled your eyes, leaning your head onto your hand, eyeing him. “You’re lucky that it’s math class, otherwise it’d be suspicious how similar our answers are for every assignment.”

His pen paused over the paper. “It’s not every assignment.” He whined at you before hurrying back. Jeno glanced at his phone, the minutes were counting down.

You laughed at him enjoying his struggle. 

“It’s not really that funny Y/N.” He gave you a quick teasing glare. 

“It kinda is.” At this point you had abandoned your own books and chose to solely watch him. Jeno had his tongue slightly sticking out in focus as his hand moved across the page. 

“How do you even pass the tests? You never actually do the homework.” You asked, curious at his good standing despite his lack of apparent effort.

He shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m a good guesser I guess.”

You snorted, “Good guesser my ass. Our math tests are all free response.”

Jeno didn’t reply and you tilted your head, focusing your attention on him for the next fifteen minutes in silence.

“Don’t be fucking creepy Y/N.” You heard the chair next to you scratch against the tile.

“It’s not creepy. He’s my boyfriend I can watch him whenever I want to.” You stuck your tongue out at Haechan as he sank into the chair.

“Right. It’s not creepy when you do it, but when I do it it’s weird.” He huffed, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, cause you do it when he’s sleeping. That’s just weird.” You squinted your eyes at him with a frown on your face.

Haechan turned his attention away from you stubbornly before actually taking a look at Jeno. He snorted, “Cheating off Y/N again?”

Jeno didn’t bother acknowledging him, “It’s not cheating, just collaborative.”

“Yeah, Y/N does the work and then you write it in your own handwriting.”

“If she was willing to give you hers you’d do it too.” Jeno accused him with a glare before returning to the papers. He was almost done and three of you would have to leave for class soon.

“No I wouldn’t. Because I’m diligent and smart.” He turned up his nose before turning to face you, “But if you’re ever feeling insanely generous, I’m more than willing to receive answers.”

Haechan shot you a toothy grin, which fell off his face when you shoved him, and obvious no in your actions .

He shrugged, “It was worth a try.”

You picked up your phone, realizing that it was time to go. “Jeno, are you almost done?” 

“Almost.” He bit his lip, scribbling twice as fast as he was before.

“We’re going to be late.” Haechan sang out, teasing Jeno distractingly.

“Shut up.” You smacked the back of his head softly. “Don’t be mean.”

“How was that mean? I just said that we were going to be late.” He cried out, rubbing his head dramatically.

“It was the way that you said it.”

“It was the way that you said it.” He mocked you, but quickly moving away to dodge the second smack he was dangerously close to receiving. 

“Jeno. We should really get going now.” You were putting your books and papers into your backpack.

“Okay. I’ll just do it while we’re walking.” He mumbled, standing up dazedly, still scribbling.

You giggled, “How are you going to do that?”

Jeno looked up for the first time in a while, eyes darting to Haechan.

Haechan shook his head, already knowing that something was up. Jeno silently took Haechan’s backpack and made the boy wear it on his front.

“I’ll use Haechan’s back.” He smiled sweetly at you as your own grin widened. 

“No. Who said that you could use my back?” Haechan pouted, but still obliging when Jeno turned him around using force. 

Haechan didn’t really stand a chance against Jeno’s strength and he had learned to just go with it before he really resorts to force.

“Ow, that hurts.” Haechan dramatically whined as Jeno pressed especially hard against him.

“No it doesn’t.”

“Um, yes it does.” He replied, “And how would you know? You’re the one doing the stabbing, not being stabbed.”

“Because this hurts.” Jeno pushed the pen hard against the paper that was on Haechan’s back, purposefully adding more strength.

Haechan squirmed away and turned to face Jeno with a wide eyed expression. “Ow.”

Jeno grinned, motioning for him to turn around again. 

Haechan shook his head horrified, “No way. You’re gonna do it again.” 

“I’m not, just come here.” He smiled and eventually Haechan obliged. 

“You’re boyfriend’s a psycho.” Haechan muttered to you.

“Shhh. In case you didn’t notice he’s got a pointy object against your back.” You giggled, eyeing your boyfriend who didn’t seem to hear it, intensely focused on his writing.

Haechan gulped and for the rest of the way he kept his snarky comments to himself.

The three of you sink into three empty seats towards the back of the lecture hall. Jeno whispered to you that he was done and handed the packet back to you before sprawling out in his seat as if he was exhausted. 

“Jesus my fingers hurt like hell.” He groaned, eyes widening at the red marks that now stood out. 

“Alright, let’s get started.” Your professor walked to the front podium with his notes. 

The students slowly settled down, voices eventually petering out.

“Quick announcement before we get into the lesson. A lot of students had emailed me over the weekend saying that they needed more time to finish the assignment so it’s been extended until Wednesday.” You professor announced and you struggled to stifle a laugh at the way that Jeno’s face fell. 

Haechan didn’t even try, snickering and jabbing his elbow into his friend’s side. 

“Are you kidding me?” He muttered under his breath, staring at his hands in disbelief. 

“If you didn’t procrastinate so long you wouldn’t have struggled like that.” You scolded him teasingly, knowing that you were just pushing his buttons.

“No. If anything it’s more reason to procrastinate. My fingers wouldn’t have had to suffer and I would have had extra time.” He groaned, arguing with you.

“You know he’s got a point.” Haechan nodded before shutting up at the sight of your glare. “Or not.”

“All I’m saying is text me the night before maybe? Or maybe I should just send it to you and then I don’t have to go through this headache with you.” 

“No. This is fun. I enjoy watching this. Don’t make it not fun.” Haechan pouted, looking genuinely worried that you would take away his source of entertainment.

“It’s heartening to know that you enjoy my suffering.” Jeno glared at the boy.

“Is that new news?” Haechan asked, slightly disappointed that it had taken so long for Jeno to get it. 

“No. We just thought that you would at least have the class to not admit it out loud.” You poked at him.

“Okay. Shut up. I can’t hear the lecture.” Haechan averted the attention.

“You’re just salty cause you were losing.” You muttered, picking up your pencil to take notes.

The fact that Haechan didn’t reply gave you satisfaction.

“No. I think I’m losing. I’m stuck in between the two of you.” Jeno said with exasperation staring incredulously at the two of you in turn, then shaking his head. 

© Copyright 2021. hyuckssunchip. All rights reserved.

[princessofprocrastination]

You Live In Sweatpants And Hoodies (GeorgeNotFound)

MASTERLIST

pairing : georgenotfound / george x influencer!reader. 

summary : george and your fans realize that under all the sweaters, you have a body. 

a/n : if you are wondering what dress i was talking about, search up jennie short black dress :)

before social media, you studied law and got a degree in it but ended up not using it due to your social media career sky rocketing. 

but you never thought studying was a waste, that could be your backup, after all. social media doesn’t last forever. and you were ready to accept any difficulties since you knew you had plan b. 

you, till this day, could not describe what you do on social media. it started with tiktok. everything nowadays started with tiktok. but you were one of the first people who was on it. 

and then tiktokers would make their way onto youtube to sustain their “career” and grow. so that’s what you did. you never abandoned that app, though. especially not now, everyone on that app is seriously hilarious. 

your content on youtube was all over the place. once, for a video, you talked to weird men on omegle and tinder. another time, you would try different aesthetics on yourself. 

but here’s the catch, you’ve never really worn revealing clothes. your mum had always told you to never deprive yourself from what she says “fun young girl things” which is dressing up, or down, in her say and go have fun with your friends. 

but since the pandemic hit, you have had no where to go anyways, and you never really liked to show off your body. it’s not that you felt uncomfortable doing it, it’s just that you’ve never had the reason to. 

you also didn’t grow up girly. you hated dresses, especially short and tight dresses. and you weren’t a fan of wearing shorts either. you always opted to go comfy. 

whenever you post a tiktok, you always wore your signature hoodie and sweatpants that were clearly sizes too big for you. but you liked it, it’s comfortable to sleep in. 

and whenever you had to pan down to show your outfits on youtube, you were always caught wearing jeans and a baggy shirt, just styled differently, according to the aesthetic of the video you were filming for. 

you heard your phone ring from the couch. you picked it up, knowing who it was anyways. “morning, cutie.” you stared. 

“morning b.” george greets you, hair everywhere, clearly just woken up. 

you and george met on tiktok, just like all good friends do. he had duetted a tiktok of yours and you found him hilarious. you quickly followed him on every single social media platform he was in. you even set an alarm in case he ever streams and you’re asleep. 

you two are close. some would say you two are dating, but you two haven’t figured it out yet. you two didn’t really want to disclose it anyways, you two knew your not so secret feelings for each other, anyways. 

remember when he called you ‘b’? yeah that stands for ‘bub’. he thought it would be cute for him to have a different nickname than the usual “baby” or “babe”. 

you two actually live very near each other, making it way easier as a couple, but since england was put into a quarantine order, you two didn’t meet often. 

some would probably ask why you’d have to set an alarm when he streams when you two clearly are in the same timezone? well, that boy had no sense of time and a terrible sleeping schedule. it amazed you at how early he got up today. 

that facetime call lasted about half an hour before you told him you needed to stream on twitch today, to which he responded to you that he’s watch it later. 

today, you had a surprise. for the world. you can’t believe you even thought about this but it was about time you showed off to the world what assets you’ve been blessed with. 

speaking of showing off. no, you weren’t a particularly insecure person, you were just comfortable in the clothes you’re in. but celebrating the long time you’ve been on social media, and it being your birthday, you thought it might be fitting. 

george and you agreed to not make anything special about your birthday. you hated parties and large gatherings, and since you were still in the middle of a pandemic, you used that as an excuse to not go out. 

you spent the longest time searching for a good enough outfit for this day. and you found it. you decided to pick a pretty simple dress, a black short dress that went to your mid thigh, that showed off your waist, spaghetti strapped and a little backless. 

you walked out the shower, your robe on as you walked to your bathroom counters to dry your hair. you didn’t really bother to style it, just leaving you straight long hair down. 

you put on the most basic white sneakers you could find to still make it casual, and you thought it went well together, anyways.

you finished you makeup and took a good look at yourself. you had been aware that you only wore baggy clothes, so this was a huge change. you twirled yourself, feeling confident. 

you couldn’t wait for people to have heart attacks. 

you sat on your gaming chair, getting ready to start your stream. 

before you started your stream, you made sure you left your facecam turned off first. 

you went live. chat was confused since this was the first time that you’re not on facecam. all they could see at the moment was the caption “IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!” that you typed on your notes app on your computer.

“hi, chat.” you said, to calm them down a little. 

you heard your phone go off, a text notification. which you knew was george since he had a special notification ping on your phone. 

it said “did you forget to turn on your cam?” 

you laughed at that. “no, chat, i haven’t forgotten to turn on my facecam, just wait for a sec, please.” 

you felt giddy, excited for the reactions. 

instead of wearing your cute cat headphones, you wore your airpods instead to get the whole look going. 

you let out a sigh before moving your mouse cursor to linger on the ‘start recording camera’ button. you clicked on it, before moving your chair back to fully say hi to your chat. 

you brought your hands up to wave to the camera. you tilted your head slightly. “soooo, it’s my birthday.” you said. 

chat was going crazy so you stopped reading them so you wouldn’t get a headache. the donations went crazy too, but you tried your best to read them all. 

you thanked the people who subscribed to you or gifted you subs. 

“360 of this dress? sure, i’ll give you a twirl.” you replied a dono. 

you stood up, and rolled your gaming chair away so that they can see your whole outfit. you spun around once, quickly telling them where you got the dress from. 

you tried to hold your foot on one hand, balancing yourself to show them that you could go casual in this dress too. 

what you noticed was that, your phone hadn’t stopped beeping from a text notification, which belonged to the one and only georgenotfound. 

and since maybe he noticed that you won’t check your phone, he sent a donation instead. 

“WHAT THE FUCK.” the monotoned voice read out the donation, which was from george. 

you facepalmed, knowing exactly what his reaction is like at home. 

“I’M COMING OVER.” the voice said again. you laughed at his antics. 

“see you then.” you replied, laughing, knowing he was joking around anyways. 

-

GEORGE’S POV 

she thinks i’m joking, isn’t she? 

well, she gave me her spare key for a reason, and this would be the best reason. 

i knew i wanted to come around anyways. just after her stream. i promised her no going out, but not no gifts and ordering in. 

sneaky, i know. 

i had a plan brewing in my mind. to walk in her house as quietly as possible, to surprise her. 

after seeing her in that dress, i don’t think i can stand our fans not knowing we aren’t dating. 

i know, i haven’t really asked her out, but we kinda both agreed that there was no use, knowing each other’s feeling was good enough and that we didn’t need to do anything extravagant. 

i don’t know what she’s tell her fans but i’m sure i hadn’t disclose our relationship. the fans shipped us, sure, but i don’t think i’ve ever said it out loud. 

we knew we’d have to say it someday. so i thought, why not today? as i surprised her at her own house. 

her fans watching her stream are tweeting at me like crazy. no one had seen her like that. she practically lives in sweats and hoodies, constantly. 

the most fitting thing i’ve seen her wear is skinny jeans, but she would always wear a baggy top with it. people always say she drowns in her clothes, but i never complained, she looked good either ways. 

but seeing her in that dress, damn. i needed to be there and hug her, kiss her. i couldn’t wait to see her in that dress, right in front of my eyes. 

our observant fans or close friends have asked if she dresses the same at home, and my answer always stayed the same. that she lives in baggy clothes. 

there are some creepy people out there who would ask that question in a sexual way. thinking i’ve seen her in less. but truthfully, i haven’t. we’re not pass that stage, and we prefer it this way. 

what the fans see is what i see on the daily, too. 

and no, me going to her house to see her more clearly in that dress doesn’t mean we’re doing anything. i just want to observe her beauty. see what she’s hid from me. 

-

YOUR POV

chat was going crazy over george’s donation. but you still laughed it off. it’s all a joke anyways, him coming over. 

he was coming over later, after noon, so he wouldn’t just drop everything to see you right now. 

“geez. chill out, chat, george was joking.” you told them. 

you sat on your gaming chair more comfortably as you started playing a couple rounds of among us with your fans. you told them not to cheat and watch your stream as they’re playing ad lucky you, they listened. 

for some reason, your chat still kept blowing up with george comments. maybe they were still caught up on that comment he said earlier. 

but you hadn’t thought that he’d be behind you the entire time, telling the chat to not make it obvious. 

“happy birthday, b” you heard a very familiar voice from behind you. 

you almost had a whiplash from how quick you turned your head to see who was behind you. 

you stood up to hug him, almost falling to the floor, stumbling on your own feet.

with the way you ran to him, he almost fell to the floor. “you’re here, you’re here.” you kept repeating it to him, not believing that he actually came. you knew he’d come later, but not this early. 

george moved you back gently to see your full outfit. you two were aware that the facecam is still on, and pointing to you two, seeing every move. 

“come here.” he whispered to you before grabbing your waist, to kiss you. 

you two took a little while enjoying each other’s company, still in front of everyone on twitch. 

he moved you back a little, turning you to face your gaming monitors. “MY GIRLFRIEND, EVERYBODY. isn’t she so hot, oh my god.” he said to the stream. 

you laughed at his stupid antics, covering your face with your hands as you blushed. 

your chat didn’t stop talking about the interaction, not believing that their ship was finally sailing. 

you played a couple more rounds of among us with them, george taking over sometime or making funny comments to entertain your chat while you played. 

after the stream, george and you took time to enjoy the time alone, ordering in your favourite food and opening gifts that he bought you. 

you forgot to mention that both of your twitter was blowing up too much that you had to mute it for a while. you knew that a lot had screenshot the cute moment. 

you took note to screenshot some of the photos on twitter later. 

[sassycassie-s-writing]

Want You Back

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): DC/BatFam - Jason Todd/Red Hood

Rating: PG-11/T- (little violence, little blood)

Original Idea: Exes-to-Lovers is kinda an underrated trope, when it’s done right.

Notes: (Masterlist)(By Character)(About Me) This one is... 2,833 words. I wish I could say I’m sorry for it being long but I’m not. Have fun! @welovegroot @jason-redhood @jason-todd-squad

^^^^^

“Oh shoot—hide me!” I hissed, ducking behind Daisy. She looked at me in confusion before glancing around the party.

She rolled her eyes. “Girl, you haven’t dated Jason in like a year. Can’t you at least try to be civil?”

“Oh trust me, I’d love nothing more than to be civil. Honestly, I’d love nothing more than to get back together with him. I thought we made each other happy. But he kept so many secrets and I can’t be in a relationship with someone who can’t be honest with me. We broke up so… explosively that I’m not sure we can speak nicely to each other,” I replied. “Just… block his view of me while I sneak into Jessie’s room, okay?”

Daisy heaved a heavy sigh. “Fine. But hiding from him won’t do you any good.”

“It’ll do us both a world of good if it means I don’t have to talk to him.”

Daisy did as I asked and blocked Jason’s view of me until we got to the stairs. I bolted up them two at a time and ducked into Jessie’s room. The door had been closed but unlocked. Once I shut myself inside, I leaned against it and sighed.

The bookcase in Jessie’s room was more meant for displaying knick-knacks than holding books, so a quick glance at her collection revealed nothing worth reading. I sat on the floor next to her bed, on her fuzzy pink rug, and stared at the screensaver on her computer monitor—a bunch of bubbles floating around and bumping into each other, changing colors.

Why was Jason here? Jessie knew he and I fell out over a year ago. Did she invite him? Did her brother? That seemed more likely. Jessie probably didn’t even realize he was here.

No need to get angry at her.

I pulled out my phone. I had a few books on it. Kept them just for this reason. Hide from a party and make people think I was just on my phone. I didn’t trust reading fanfiction in public, so I only kept traditionally-published work in my phone’s files.

I’m not sure how long I read. A half-hour, probably.

I was startled by the door opening and closing. “Whew. Dodged a bullet there,” a familiar voice said with a sigh of relief.

I looked up in alarm.

Jason was leaning against the door, eyes closed, breathing hard.

I held still. Maybe if he didn’t hear me, he’d slip back out to the party after a moment and leave me alone—and we wouldn’t have to exchange words. I watched my phone screen dim, then shut off completely, while Jason just stood there.

He opened his eyes. His gaze landed on me. “O—oh,” he said. “I… I didn’t know you were in here.”

I nodded, slowly and once. “I figured,” I said flatly. Awkward. “Did… Jessie’s brother invite you?”

“Yeah,” he said. “But… one of his ex-girlfriends from high school wouldn’t stop flirting with me. So I pretty much ran away. I thought this was a bathroom.” He gestured to the room around us. “Clearly, I was wrong.” He glanced at the door over his shoulder. “I would leave, but I don’t want that girl to come after me again. Think we can get along long enough to share?”

I pushed myself to my feet, tucking my phone in my pocket. “No need. Since I came in here to avoid you, I’ll just go back to the party—and you can stay here for the rest of the night, for all I care. I will say, though, the bathroom is the next door down.”

I moved to brush him out of the way to leave Jessie’s room, but he caught my wrist. “Babydoll, wait,” he said, voice soft.

I pulled out of his grip. “Don’t call me that. I’m not yours anymore.”

“I miss you.” His big blue eyes were giving me puppy eyes.

“I miss you too. But you know perfectly well why I broke things off. I can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth about why he disappears all the time—and clearly can’t keep his story straight. I thought we were happy together, Jason. But when you vanish for hours at a time with no word and come back with lame excuses, how was I supposed to trust you? I doubt you were cheating on me but how would I know? And what else was I supposed to think?” I knew I wasn’t strong enough to push him away from the door—the man was 6’ and 225 pounds of muscle—but when I shoved he gave way.

I yanked open the door and shut it hard behind me. I stomped downstairs and back to the party.

“You see Jason?” Daisy asked. “He went upstairs a couple minutes ago.”

“We spoke,” I said shortly.

Daisy cringed. “Went that well, huh?”

“Part of me still loves him, but I’m definitely still ticked at him.”

She made a face. “Sorry,” she offered.

“It’s fine.” I shrugged. “Anyway. Have you even seen Jessie or her brother?”

Daisy looked around. “I said hi to her when we first got here… but no, I haven’t seen her since,” she said. I followed her gaze. A sea of people in a small suburban house outside Gotham was pretty crowded for a party, and it was hard to see if Jessie and her brother Robert were even here anymore.

“Me neither,” I muttered.

“Wonder where they went,” Daisy mused.

“I mean, with the amount of people here, I’m not surprised I can’t see them.”

“Yeah…”

Somewhere nearby, I heard glass shattering. “Uh-oh. That can’t be good,” Daisy remarked. “If Jessie’s parents find out someone broke something—”

She didn’t get to finish her sentence as a window crashed in right next to us. I shrieked and grabbed Daisy, dragging her away from the flying shards. Several of them splattered over my jacket and cascaded to the floor, but I was lucky not to get impaled by any of them. A dark figure in body armor landed on the carpet, holding a large assault rifle.

I put Daisy behind me and backed up a few steps as the music stopped. She was taller than me, but hunched over she could almost disappear behind me. At least, whoever the intruder was wouldn’t have a clear shot at her past me.

“I’m looking for Jessica and Robert Williams,” the intruder said, levelling his gun at the crowd. Someone screamed from near the stairs.

While the intruder’s attention was elsewhere, I snuck my phone out of my pocket and found Jason’s number. I sent a text as fast as I could. Get out of here. Shooter just broke in.

That was all I had the time for before slipping my phone back into my pocket like I never had it out. The intruder prowled around the crowd. “Jessica… Robert…” he singsonged. I held Daisy’s wrist behind me. “If you two don’t show yourselves in the next sixty seconds, I’m tearing up your friends.”

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I glanced at the text on my watch. Jason Todd: I’m not leaving you.

I slid my phone out. You have to. At least call the cops.

The window on the other side of the living room shattered inward. Another dark figure swooped through and landed on the floor. My first thought was Batman—but as the figure straightened from his landing, I saw a red helmet glinting off the disco lights.

“Red Hood,” I breathed, in awe. I’d seen him a couple times. Imposing, tall, muscular. I’d only ever seen him from a distance. Seeing him up close was almost more terrifying.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you,” Red Hood said to the intruder, voice being run through some sort of ring modulator to disguise it, “that it’s rude to gate crash a party?”

The intruder growled, “Red Hood,” like an animal. My blood ran a little colder.

Red Hood stepped forward, completely unfazed. “Get out now, and this doesn’t have to get any uglier than it already is.”

“What do you care, crime boss, that I get up to a little trouble?”

“I care because everyone knows my rules. No innocents get harmed. Look around you. This place is full of innocent people.” Red Hood gestured to the party crowd. For a moment I could have sworn the eyes of his helmet lingered on me. But he was probably looking at the window. “Get out before I haul you out in a body bag.” He whipped one of his massive handguns into his hand, cocking it with the other in one practiced, fluid motion.

The intruder levelled the assault rifle at Red Hood’s chest. “Make me,” he spat.

Red Hood shrugged. “Okay.”

Bang! His handgun went off. I jumped. The intruder dropped to the floor, his rifle spraying bullets briefly toward the ceiling before stopping when he hit the carpet in a splatter of blood.

Red Hood looked around. “Everyone okay?”

A few scattered nods.

“Good. Get out on the front lawn. Wait for the cops to show up. They should be here any second,” he ordered.

The crowd rushed out the front door, bottlenecking and slowing down. Daisy included. I stayed where I was, staring at Red Hood. He noticed me not moving and came over.

“Are you alright?” he asked softly.

I looked down, peeling my hand away from my right side to reveal the blood soaking my shirt. “His spray. It got me,” I said, voice hoarse. My head was light and fuzzy. Not from blood loss—not yet. More likely from the shock of getting hit.

His helmet tilted down and he looked at the wound. The ring modulator distorted his whispered swearing but I still figured out what he said. “We need to get you to the hospital. Like, ASAP. And I can’t take you on my bike. Did you drive here?”

I nodded. “My car—it’s the dark green Explorer half-a-block that way.” I pointed down the street to the left with my non-bloodstained hand.

Red Hood nodded. “Keys?”

I pulled them from my other pocket and passed them over.

He swung me up into his arms and left. The crowd had cleared the front door in the time it took us to talk, so he marched across the front lawn and headed for my car. I heard Daisy call my name, but didn’t have the mental strength to call back.

As he walked down the block, each step jolting my wound, he said, “Batman, I’ve got a GSW. Taking her to the hospital. There was a hostile at a party in the suburbs. I took him down and the GCPD is on its way, but I’m moving the wounded girl.” He paused for a moment, but I couldn’t hear anything. “Yes, it’s a girl. She’s got her car here. I’m taking her in that.” Another pause. “Copy that. I’ll check in later.”

Red Hood set me gently in the passenger seat and laid it as flat as it could go. “Just hold on, babydoll. Hold on,” he said softly.

I scrunched my eyebrows as he shut the door and circled the hood to get in the driver’s seat. Once he gunned the engine, I put my clean hand on the arm of his brown leather jacket. “Why’d you call me… babydoll?” I asked.

“Well, I don’t know your name, miss, and I thought it’d be more comforting.” The car pulled away from the curb.

“You just heard my friend shout my name.”

He swore again and sighed. “Fine. Just don’t freak out. You’ll lose more blood.” He pulled his helmet off with one hand. “Couldn’t see as well to drive with that thing on anyway.”

Jason’s tousled black hair, white streak at the front, puffed up a bit as the helmet freed itself from his head. I tried to sit up, but fire burned in my side and I flopped back down before I’d even moved an inch. “What?” I squeaked. “Jay?”

His eyes flicked to me briefly. Deep blue and… there was something melancholy in them. “Yeah, babydoll,” he said. “It’s me.” There was his sad smile. One I’d seen many times. “You haven’t called me Jay since…” He didn’t finish his sentence, but I remembered when I’d stopped calling him Jay and “my Jay baby.” It was about a month before I finally had enough of his excuses and lies and broke up with him.

“Is this… is this why you always disappeared for hours and came back with excuses?”

“And could never seem to keep my story straight? Yeah. I wanted…” He sighed. “I wanted to tell you so many times but Batman said it would only be safe for me to tell you if we ever got married. And even then you’d still be in danger. You made me so happy and it killed me to lie to you. Killed me even more to lose you. When you broke things off… I am not proud to admit that every criminal I fought on patrol that night went to the hospital with more broken bones than I usually leave. I love you. Still. So much so that this past year has been… empty. Without you.”

I cleared my throat of the tears clogging it. “I said to Daisy earlier tonight, when I first saw you at the party, that I’d love nothing more than to get back together with you. But I couldn’t if you were going to keep things from me again.”

“Don’t get my hopes up like that while you’re in shock, please babydoll. Because I don’t know if you mean it or if you’re babbling from the shock and have no idea what you’re saying.”

“I told you I miss you,” I pointed out.

“That doesn’t have to mean you still love me or want me back.”

“But I do. To both. Love you and want you back. You can be honest with me now. But, we can talk about it when I don’t feel like passing out from pain.”

He reached out and grabbed my hand. “Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Don’t you dare pass out on me. If you do, you might not wake up again. Stay awake, babydoll. Stay awake. Please.” His grip tightened on my fingers. I tried to nod, but I wasn’t feeling well. My vision was a little blurry and I was tired.

“I’ll try,” I said.

We kept driving. Jason had fallen into pensive silence.

“Alright. We’re here,” he said. He parked my car and put his helmet back on. Then he ducked out, circled the hood, and picked me up to carry me into the ER, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Just stay awake. I’ll come visit—as me—later, okay?”

I nodded. “I’d like that,” I said.

Automatic glass doors slid open. Someone yelped. “GSW,” Jason said, voice modulated again. “Right side. No exit wound.”

“Get her on a gurney!” a nurse called over his shoulder.

I hugged Jason tighter. “Thank you,” I whispered.

He nodded. “Of course, babydoll.” His voice was soft. Comforting.

He set me on a gurney, and I watched him stride out of the hospital as they rolled me away.

—

When I woke up after surgery, Jason was there. Alone. Blue jeans, red T-shirt, hair a mess, and dozing in the armchair. “You look like crap,” I croaked.

He jolted and sat up. “Speak for yourself, babydoll,” he retorted. But he spoke gently. “Your family’s down in the cafeteria, getting some breakfast. I told them I’d keep you company. Your mom looked like she might murder me just for suggesting it, but I told her we made up enough to be friends at the party. So she—begrudgingly, mind you—allowed me to stay.”

“Just friends?” I asked.

He smiled and sat forward to run the backs of his fingers down my cheek. “For now. You said we’d talk about it more when you were feeling better.” He leaned back in the armchair. “So, how are you feeling?”

“Still not great, but the shock has worn off, at least.”

“That’s good.”

“I meant it, by the way,” I said. “That you can be honest with me now, so if you’re willing, we can try again.”

Jason met my eyes. There was hope in his expression. “Are you sure?” he asked.

I smiled. “Absolutely. I told you before: I miss you.”

He leaned forward, and pressed a kiss to my lips. The EKG monitor beeped a little faster as my heartrate spiked. I grabbed his shoulders as he moved away, and pulled him back to me. He smiled into my lips as I kissed him again.

“Okay,” he whispered. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

He tilted his head for a better angle, and I pushed one of my hands into his hair.

The door to the hospital room opened. “What’s going on in here?” Mom demanded.

[heeberry]

It’s Not What You Think

(Loona) Jung Jinsoul x Female!Reader

Requested: yes!

Berry: Hello may I ask for Jinsoul x fem!reader angst where reader spends time with a member a bit too much cause they're planning a surprise for Jinsoul but JInsoul ends up thinking reader is cheating and confronts them about it. Reader feels conflicted and says smth along the lines of "Im not that kind of person" but they make up after a long ass deliberation. Sorry if it's a bit much, thank you!!

A/n: don’t worry berry it wasn’t too much at all!! Sorry for writing this late </3 it’s a tiny bit rushed so if you don’t like it let me know and I’ll write it again :]

Jinsoul crossed her arms, slumped up against the couch. She huffed, watching you and Chaewon huddled on the couch across from her, giggling and doing things on the computer.

The Tv was just background music to her at this point, her eyes drilling a hole between you and Chaewon. You glanced at the girl, but soon looked back at the computer, her gaze was enough to tell you that she wasn’t having it. It sure was scary to you, not familiar with her angry side. Jinsoul was usually sweet and affectionate, but what you saw was the complete opposite, which you knew why, but you can’t really do anything about it at the moment.

“Y/n ignore her, we have to focus” Chaewon snapped you out of your thoughts, you nodded at her words, going back to picking out decorations online.

Jinsoul’s birthday was just tomorrow, so to show some appreciation you decided to throw a party for her. You picked Chaewon to help you since she’d been hanging out with Jinsoul often, and because you two were the closest ones in the dorm.

At first Jinsoul didn’t mind, she knew how close the two of you were so she let you be. But as time passed she noticed how less you spent time with her, which made her heart ache.

“Should we get those confett shooters?”

“Why not” you laughed, adding it to your chart.

After checking the items out and paying you turned to Chaewon. “Do you think Jinsoul’s mad at me right now?” You suddenly asked.

Chaewon glanced at Jinsoul, she was talking to Heejin but her expression still showed how upset she was. Chaewon turned back to you, with a slight smile, “yeah probably” she paused “still don’t let that get in the way right now, the decorations are coming tomorrow so we have to plan out how we’re gonna surprise Jinsoul”

You nodded, though there was something telling you that talking to her won’t hurt, it’s not like your avoiding her with bad intentions. “I’ll just talk to her for a few” you whispered after noticing Heejin leaving and going towards the kitchen.

“Jinsoul!” You cheered, climbing on her to give her a tight hug. “Are you okay?”

Jinsoul kept her mouth shut, she tried not letting the warmth of the hug get to her. As much as she was desperate to wrap her arms around you she contained it, wanting to let you know how upset she was.

You cup her face, turning it to face you. “What happened? Why aren’t you talking?”

Jinsoul scoffed at your words, brushing your hands off. She pulled you off of her, getting up without a word and leaving.

You felt a pang in your heart, you must’ve really made her upset. Tomorrow was her birthday too, and having this happen wasn’t apart of the plan.

Walking back to Chaewon with a frown, you hugged your best friend. She pats your head, witnessing the whole scene. “It’s okay y/n, she won’t stay mad at you for long. Your her girlfriend anyway.”

Chaewon put an arm around you, squeezing your cheeks. “She’ll probably be like, oh my baby y/n! I’m so sorry for being mad, this is amazing!” You laughed at Chaewon’s words as she continued, “thank you so much! Seriously babe, I wasn’t expecting this!” Pointing at the computer as if there was something valuable actually there.

You kept laughing with her, eyes closed shut and holding your stomach. She knew how to comfort you for sure, as she soon laughed with you.

As much as the two of you were having a good time, someone in the corner surely wasn’t. Jinsoul stared, stunned at what she just heard. “Did she just? Call y/n, babe?” She mumbled to herself, recalling Chaewon’s words and use of physical affection.

Now Jinsoul knew she had to do something. Her heart immediately smashed into pieces, like a hammer hitting glass. She felt like she was stepping on lava, feeling betrayed and hurt.

She walked into her room, the door slamming so loud that the two of you were awoken from your own little worlds.

You cleared the tears on your face, “alright Chae, let’s inform the others about what their roles are”

...

The next day rolled around and you felt excited. Removing the covers off of you and heading towards Jinsoul’s room to greet her a happy birthday. You knocked twice and opened the door, greeted by the coolness of the ac that was in her room. You jumped on her bed, “Jinsoul get up!” You laughed. Ruffling her hair as she woke up.

Her face dropped when she saw you, but you didn’t seem to notice. “Happy birthday babe!” You cheered, peppering her face with kisses.

Though Jinsoul didn’t seem as excited as you, pulling you away from her face she got up without a word. You stared at her, “the silent treatment again?” You frowned.

You couldn’t tell how upset she was, surely you did spend less time with her but that usually happens whenever the both of you are busy anyway, how come she’s suddenly like this now?

“Jinsoul!” You whined, grabbing her hand before she stepped out the door, “why are you suddenly ignoring me?”

Jinsoul kept her anger inside, if she dared to open her mouth she knew she’d explode. You pushed her around and attempted to hug her, Jinsoul just stood, letting it all happen.

Soon enough you grew tired and annoyed, “can you just tell me what happened to you?” You snapped. “You’ve been ignoring me since yesterday giving me the silent treatment, what’s up with that?”

Jinsoul turned to you with a scoff, “are kidding me?”

You raised an eyebrow, “what?”

“You’ve been the one ignoring me! What’s up with that” she mimicked, “since last week you’ve been clinging onto Chaewon like I don’t exist”

“God every single day I’ve seen you with her and the two of you are giggling like there’s no tomorrow” Jinsoul’s voice kept getting higher and higher, with each word hitting you in the face.

“I mean at first I didn’t mind of course since she’s your best friend but yesterday was where the line was crossed” Jinsoul yelled, ruffling her own hair.

She paused, her vision becoming more blurry from the tears forming in her eyes. She sniffled before pointing a finger, “YOU CHEATED ON ME”

You gasped but before you could even speak Jinsoul cut you.

“I saw it all L/n Y/n. Chaewon calling you babe to the two of you acting all lovey dovey. Don’t act like you guys didn’t do that yesterday because I saw it with my own two eyes!”

“Jinsoul I-”

“Don’t Jinsoul me, I don’t care about your explanation. What I saw was as clear as day and for that we’re breaking up right here and now” Jinsoul snapped, “Don’t you dare try coming to me again, go hang out with your new girlfriend.”

Jinsoul headed towards the door, which made you panic, forgetting what things were prepared outside. “Wait Jinsoul!” You yelled, yanking her away from the door.

It was now the other way around, you stood in front of her with tears in your eyes. “Soulie please here me out, it’s not what you think! Please”

Jinsoul leaned against the bed, a sigh escaping her lips. She kept her tough imagine outside but inside was filled with hurt and sorrow. Not only did she caught you with Chaewon, seeing you like this also made her weak in the knees. But she kept it in, gesturing you to talk.

“I swear I didn’t cheat on you” you paused to wipe the tears that spilled down your eyes like a waterfall. “What you saw yesterday was Chaewon mimicking you I promise!”

“But why?”

“Because we were getting things for you and while doing so we started talking about you”

Jinsoul scoffed again, “yeah right like I’ll believe such a thing now”

She walked towards the door again, leaving you crying on the floor. Jinsoul opened the door to see Chaewon and the others with party hats on. Usually on birthdays you’d cheer and scream, but this moment in particular wasn’t what they did.

It was silent, the members heard everything. They stood there with frowns or blank faces. The house was decorated with balloons and all sorts of things. A cake sat perfectly on the table, candles sitting on it with the words, “Happy Birthday Jinsoul!” Written in blue, the color she liked.

Jinsoul’s jaw dropped when she saw everything decorated. Chaewon frowned, breaking the silence. “we were together to plan out your birthday”

She turned to you, your cheeks puffed out and eyes bloodshot red from continuessly crying.

Jinsoul looked at her members apologetically before going towards you. Closing the door behind her, she crouched down to hug you.

“Well what now?” Yeojin spoke, breaking the silence. “I think we should go, things will get better later so let’s leave them alone for now” Haseul replied.

“what about the activities we planned?” Yerim added, “we didn’t make reservations for nothing”

“We’ll do what we planned later stupid, they need each other right now” Heejin said, rushing the members to sit in the living room and wait.

Meanwhile you smacked Jinsoul, “I told you! I told you we weren’t doing anything romantic” you frowned, “why would you even accuse me of cheating when I literally cling onto you 24/7?”

Jinsoul kissed you, “I’m so sorry for yelling at you, I knew I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that”

You shook your head, “it isn’t your fault, I mean, I was technically the one ignoring you but only because I didn’t wanna accidently spoil the surprise for you”

Jinsoul grabbed your hand, getting you up on your two feet before smiling at you. “Let’s pretend that never happened yea?”

You nodded, and Jinsoul pecked you on the lips. “Next time I’ll hear you out instead of yelling at you like a total idiot”

“Yeah you definitely should next time”

Once the door of Jinsoul’s room opened it was like nothing never really happened. The members stood there shooting confetti and shouting happy birthday.

You laughed at their antics, turning to Jinsoul to give her a rightful kiss. “Happy Birthday my love, and don’t you ever think I’d cheat on you”

[remember-to-be-gentle]

This one may be long...

Subject: BNHA, Dabi aka Touya Todoroki + Enji Todorki, Fuyumi Todoroki, Natuso Todoroki, and a little Shouto if you squint

Title: House Party Bully 3 (NSFW, fem reader)

Trigger Warning: Non con, pregnancy, bisexual, lactation, obsession, possessive behavior, bullying, stalking, blackmail, crying

Still shaking from Enji's "inspection," Touya whisked you out of the house and pushed you into his car. You could barely process what was happening when he tore off away from the house. The overpowering smell of weed grounded you, forcing you into reality. The very same reality where you'd just been split open by your bully's father's cock because you were pregnant. You glanced over at Touya who was staring straight ahead at the road, the car going a little too fast and his his knuckles white from their grip on the steering wheel.

Just what had Enji said to force Touya into inviting you over? Granted a man like Enji must have kept his family on a tight leash, a leash tight enough to keep a record of how much weed Touya smoked and when.

The silence in the car was broken when Touya said, "Do you think he hurt the baby?" His voice was tight as his grip on the steering wheel.

Of all the things to focus on with what just happened in his house and his priority wasn't even you. You snorted and turned away from him. Of course he only cared about the unborn fetus inside you. To him and his family you were simply a liability for their reputation and a walking womb that needed to be fed. "Fuck off. I want to go home."

He grunted.

With a new wave of fear slowly coiling in your stomach, you realized Touya was in fact taking you home. He knew where you lived. He'd known where you lived all along. How many opportunities had he had to make your life hell outside of school? How many times had he driven here and parked where he could watch you as he struggled with the desire to burst your tiny bubble of peace?

He parked in front of your house and waited for you to exit the car before he made for your front door. He let himself inside with a snide, "You really gotta learn to lock the door."

Slowly, you followed, legs still shaking as you made your way inside. "How long have you known where I live?"

Touya was in your kitchen, helping himself to the Chex Mix you kept on the counter. "It wasn't hard. Just did some reverse image searching and compared them to Google Maps. Plus you didn't hide your location on SnapChat. By the way, don't accept friend requests from strangers or people who're friends with people who hate you."

Hot anger sizzled on your skin. "I didn't ask how," you said from the door way, "I asked when."

That got him stop. "Does it matter? You've always been mine." He shoved a handful of pretzels into his mouth. "You're mine to fuck with when I please." He swallowed. "Or fuck when I please."

"I don't belong to you," you snarled. How dare he. He'd done enough damage to your life: destroying your reputation at school, invading the only peace you had, raping you at his party and then knocking you up before he let his dad have a turn. Fuck him. You didn't belong to anyone and especially not him.

Touya laughed. A genuine, deep, terrible laugh. He made his way across the room, heavy shoes creating a steady beat of thunder as he towered over you. A slender finger poked into your stomach, right where Enji had pointed before, the nail sharp as it pressed into your skin. "We may not have had anything physical keeping us together before," he spat, "but now we do. With my kid growing in your belly, no one can deny you're mine. Not when he's growing. Not when he's teething on your tits. And especially when he introduces himself with my name."

You pushed him away. "Get away from me. Get out of my apartment."

Touya stared at you for a moment, then walked back into the kitchen and scribbled his number on your calendar. "Call me when you want your car back. Or when you miss me. Whichever comes first." And with that, he bumped his shoulder into you and got back into his car. That sinking feeling of fear returned as you realized your car was still at his house and you'd have to deal with his family alone.

*******************************************************

The next morning you dressed for school. It had been a long, tiring debate the night before if you should even go back. So much had happened in just a few weeks and you'd done your best to keep your head down and listen to the lectures, but now you were pregnant and without your car. You could always call Touya and have him bring it, but then you'd give in to what he wanted: you forced to rely on him, tying yourself further to his whims - marking you as his.

Instead you'd opted to summon an Uber, go to your classes and get home with no time in between to so much as look at the library. You steeled yourself and stepped outside only to see the car that almost hit you outside the Todoroki mansion sitting idly with the engine running.

Enji sat behind the wheel, cartoonishly large in comparison to the vehicle. When he saw you, he leaned over and opened the door. "Get in, I'm driving you to school."

And just how would that look with you showing up to school with your bully's father and the most feared professor on campus? Rumors would already be spreading about your absence and odd behavior. The moment someone guessed you were pregnant, and you started to show, any hope for a normal college life would be over with no hope of recovery. "No. Thanks."

You turned and pulled your phone out for the Uber, but then Enji said, "Your scholarship relies on you being a model student, doesn't it?"

You froze.

"An academic advisor isn't going to be too keen on letting you keep that money when you've been knocked up by a campus lowlife, even if his father is a respected member of the faculty." He patted the passenger seat. "And while I can't fix the fact that you're losing that scholarship, I can pay your tuition and medical bills. Delivering and raising a baby isn't cheap. So get in the car before you walk away with nothing."

He was right. Of course he was fucking right. This was Enji Todoroki, the man who has his entire family turning a blind eye to his debaucherous acts. He wasn't going to let you go even if you died, not when his grandkid was growing inside you. With as much of your dignity you could gather, you climbed into the car and let Enji drive you to campus.

"After your last class," he said, "come to my office. You have an appointment." When you didn't respond he added, "For the baby." He had said he'd be footing the medical bills. Did that mean Enji was going to be there for everything? The pap smear, birth, and recovery? You shivered. Touya knew his father was going to be overprotective and manipulative. He knew his overbearing nature would have you crawling back to him, back to an overbearing man you were at least familiar with.

When Enji parked at the school, you hopped out and started walking toward your first class. “Thanks for the ride.” You tried to put as much distance between you and him as possible, but Enji was large and fast. He caught up to you easily, keeping silent stride and never leaving your side. That remained true for the rest of the day. Between classes you caught his eye, and when he didn’t have a class to teach, he followed you or worked on his computer outside your classroom, just within eyesight.

Rumors were already beginning to start, you could feel it, people glancing at you and Enji. They probably thought you were either sleeping with him or you’d grievenced him in some way. Hopefully they’d assume the latter. You'd rather people think you'd gotten caught for cheating than you tried to sleep your way to better grades.

This behavior continued for days. A week almost passed before you realized you hadn’t seen Touya. No bullying, only stares from your classmates and teachers, which was almost worse. You knew what to expect from Touya, you could blow him off and tell him to fuck off, and if he got too into it, sometimes your classmates would tell him to fuck off, too. But now you didn’t know what they were thinking, how they were judging you. You were alone except for Enji’s heavy gaze and now really did consider that you may be missing him.

After your last class, you knew better than to fight Enji on him taking you home, your car was still at his house after all, and he was stronger and faster. You climbed into his car and stared at the window, waiting to see the neighboring apartments and familiar street signs. They never came. Instead you recognized another set of houses, the same ones you’d parked in front of the night of the party. “Wait,” you said, “this isn’t the way to my apartment.”

“No, its not.” Enji agreed. “Its not proper for the future mother of my son’s child to be living alone in a run down apartment. You’ll be living, or at least spending most of your time, with us from now on.” Before you could protest, he tapped a heavy finger on a piece of paper that sat on the dashboard. You picked it up and nearly cried. It was a copy of your lease with an approved early termination of contract. “Don’t worry about moving your things,” he said, “The boys and I will handle it.”

A tear slid down your cheek. They’d taken your life from you.

You jumped when you felt a finger run across your cheek, wiping away the tear. “If you don’t want to share a room with Touya, that’s fine. There’s plenty of rooms in the house.”

*******************************************************

As your stomach grew, so did Enji's overprotectiveness and Touya's absence. He hadn't even updated his insta since the party. You almost admitted you missed him. You could brush off Touya's rude remarks about how fat you were getting. You couldn't brush off Enji's furnace of a hand as it felt up your swelling stomach. With your insta DMs taunting you with that swollen blue send button. All it would take for help was to press it. But pressing it would mean admitting that you needed him. It was almost tempting. Almost.

Enji did make you move into the mansion, which you thought meant spending every waking moment with Touya, but he was rarely there. Even when he was, he would only play Mario-kart with his friends or ignore you completely. Despite his possessive behavior, he was sticking to his guns about making you call him first.

Your room was thankfully away from Touya's, sandwiched between his younger siblings, Fuyumi and Natsuo. They were all incredibly kind, volunteering to bring you food and anything else you need. They even helped you start to put your things away as it was becoming harder to move with your growing stomach. Although you couldn't help noticing they seemed to eye you up when your back was turned.

And then Rei and Enji announced they'd be going out of town for the weekend. You thought this would be a relief, not having to deal with Enji's overprotectiveness for three days and Touya still being mostly MIA, but you quickly understood that no one in this house could be trusted.

"Is there anything we can get you?" Fuyumi asked, seated at your desk with Natsuo leaning beside her.

At this point, you were about four months into your pregnancy. Your stomach wasn't enormous, but it was getting hard to move around. Fuyumi volunteered to buy you maternity clothing and Natsuo often brought you food, which was usually fast food, but still appreciated. You'd grown comfortable with asking these two for things you needed. "I'm okay," you said, "I just need to get some pads. Hopefully I can get them from the store tomorrow." Your car was still here, after all, and despite being in the mansion, you hadn't managed to find your keys. Touya or Enji had to have them.

Natsuo twitched. "Pads?" Having not know him for that long, you weren't sure what that meant quite yet. You'd seen it only s few times when your pregnancy was mentioned.

Regardless, you blushed. Speaking about the changes your body was going through with your future, unwanted, in-laws wasn't a comfortable topic of conversation. "I don't have a proper bra to absorb all the milk," you confessed.

Fuyumi seemed like she was trying not to look at you. "You're lactating?" Or rather, you realized, she was trying not to look at your chest.

Hesitantly you answered, "Yeah."

Silence in the room settled heavy as a boulder. Natsuo's adam's apple bobbed. "H-how much?" His voice was tight.

You did not like this line of questioning. "Does it matter?"

Fuyumi glanced at Natsuo who nodded. Together, they moved at once, flanking your sides with the efficacy of lions. "Don't scream," Fuyumi said and then she yanked your shirt up. Just as you'd said, the front of your bra was dark with milk.

Natsuo was fast to pull a tit free, groaning at the sight of your puffy and swollen areolas. He ran the cold pad of his thumb over your nipple, making you squirm. "Fuck," he groaned, "I've waited too long for this."

Fuyumi did the same, her fingers just as cold. "You think you have? I'm older than you, remember?"

"What are you doing?!" You demanded. You tried to get away but they easily pinned you against your new bed, your back to the mattress and tits up for their viewing pleasure. The swollen part of your stomach didn't help either.

Slowly, Fuyumi explained, "Mom always let us have some of her milk when she was lactating but had to stop awhile ago because of some medication." She pinched you nipple and watched you bite down the moan that threatened to escape. Your breasts felt swollen all the time now that you were making milk. It both hurt and felt far too good to massage them yourself, milk often squirting out if you pressed too hard. With both of them hanging over you like, you knew the milk would flow easily and that would only encourage them more.

Natsuo picked up where his sister left off, "So we've been waiting for someone to give us a new supply. And you're it." He gave a tentative lick to your nipple, watching the skin stretch and swell until it stood erect and ready to suck. "I'll have to thank Touya for bringing you to us."

With that, both Fuyumi and Natsuo latched onto your nipples. Their hot mouths were voracious, starved. Fuyumi lapped and suckled while Natsuo used his teeth and pulled.

Your body reacted naturally as if they were the child still growing inside you. You could feel your teats leaking, all too happy to give up what they'd produced for hungry mouths. Gasps left your throat between the begging for them to stop and pleasure. Your core was becoming hot, liquid, as if it were melting.

You tried to push them off, but the siblings held firm, suckling back and forth until you were dizzy.

Natsuo suddenly pulled off, gasping for air as clear fluid dripped down his chin. "Fuck, I can't take this anymore." He got off the bed and spread your legs, roughly shoving your skirt up and pulling your panties aside to feel the slick that had gathered. He whistled, low and impressed. “Dad said you’d be easy, but I didn’t think you’d get so wet from us just sucking on your tits.”

“Don’t,” you begged, trying to push him and Fuyumi off you, but Natsuo was just like his big brother: stronger than you and bigger than you. He pulled his cock free and slid it inside you. He wasn’t as big as Touya or his father, but he was long and pushed in and in and in until you thought your swollen womb had been pushed into your lungs. “Shit,” he groaned, “you’re fucking tight. How did either of them even fit in here?” 

Fuyumi didn’t speculate, continuing to suckle on your breast, occasionally using her hand to stimulate the milk glands. 

Natsuo didn’t wait for you to adjust, sliding himself in and out at a steady pace that had you whimpering. In this sad, pathetic moment, you could admit it. You could admit that you missed Touya and wished he was here to protect you from his feral siblings as they had their way with you. Your phone was just on the nightstand, too, if you could roll over, you’d be able to call him. You needed him. The thought tasted like bile and booze.

Tears welled up in your eyes, but Natuso didn’t seem to notice or care, groaning at the sloppy sounds your cunt made as he fucked you. Fuyumi did notice and pulled off your teat. “Hey,” she said, “you’re okay.” She kissed your cheek, but kept one hand on your breast. “There’s no need to cry, we’re just trying to get to know you before the baby comes.” A kiss along your jaw, another one lower, where she sucked and bit at the skin. All you could think was Touya wouldn’t be happy if that bruised. 

And then the door opened. 

Hope exploded in your gut like an unwanted orgasm, every muscle in your body tensing, ready to explode off the bed and into your savior’s arms. For the first time in your life you hoped it was Touya coming, hoped it would be the shaggy mess of dyed-black hair and those cruel cerulean eyes that would demand to know what’s happening before he pulled you away to his room. You could handle his mocking but not his siblings. You wanted it to be Touya so much it hurt. 

And it wasn’t. 

The youngest Todoroki poked his head in, heterochromic eyes blinking slowly at the sight in front of him. His pale skin turned red, anger coloring his features as his eyebrows narrowed. For a moment you thought he’d defend you, but you knew better, you knew these siblings were fucked up and selfish. With Natuso buried deep inside you and Fuyumi still trying to get milk from your breast, you weren’t surprised at all when Shouto said, “You guys got started without me?”

Fuyumi and Natsuo scrambled to come up with an excuse, both their movements stopping as their attention shifted to focus on their little brother. The shot you needed. You ignored Natuso’s cock inside you and made for your phone, swiping it off the nightstand and quickly hitting the contact for A MAN WHO SHOULD NOT BE CALLED. 

“Shit.” Both Fuyumi and Natuso swore. 

They both tried to wrestle your phone away, but it was too late. Less than two rings and Touya’s voice flooded the room, “What’s going on?”

You were so relieved you almost started sobbing. “Help me!” 

Fuyumi managed to grab your phone. Her face broke into an uneasy smile, fear making her pale into a sickly green “Everything’s fine, Touya-nii! We’re just playing a game and she’s a sore loser, right Natsu?”

“Right,” Natuso’s voice was shaking, “right, Fuyu.” 

Heavy silence filled the room. They’d been exposed for their actual intentions. “I’m on my way. And I better not see any of you near her again.” Touya’s voice was a growl, deep, barely holding back his rage. 

Shouto blinked, his color returning to normal. “You guys drank all the milk, didn’t you?” 

Both Natsuo and Fuyumi looked horrified. Their little brother's own selfishness played against them.

Fuyumi and Natsuo scrambled out of the room, dragging Shouto with them.

You laid on the bed, a soreness washing over your body. Your violated cunt, your swollen breasts, your skin where Fuyumi kissed, and goosebumps from the cold. You didn’t have the energy to fix your clothes or even look at Touya when he entered the room. You didn’t look at him, but you could feel his heat and his anger. He didn’t say anything, though. He just fixed your clothes and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you to your feet before he brought you to his room. 

The familiar smells of body odor, weed, and Touya enveloped you and you understood that no matter how much you didn’t want this, this was your safe space now.  

[oblxvion]

euphoric | eren jaeger (5)

-> pairing eren jaeger x f!reader

-> wc: 5.6k

-> warnings: use of alcohol, mentions of weed, swearing, angst, tiny bit of fluff at the end

you sat there in shock, with eren’s phone in your hands. you didn’t know how to feel, especially with the fact that you both had just had talked about your relationship together, and for him to receive this text, just proved to you that everything you knew about him in the past and what sasha had told you were true.

you didn’t know what to do but you sure as hell wanted to know what it was about. you quickly threw on your sweatpants and made your way to where eren was in the kitchen, quietly humming to himself as he was pouring your tea in a cup. he turned around to see you with your arms crossed, eyeing what he was doing.

“i got you mint tea, is that fine?” he handed you the cup, to which you accepted with a small smile. 

“yeah that’s fine,” you said as you took a small sip of the drink he had given you. you wanted to ask him about the text but you didn’t know how to start the conversation. maybe you shouldn’t even bother and just ghost him until he comes crawling back, if he does. but part of you wanted to confront him about the text. he had told you that you were the only girl that he was seeing, now you weren’t so sure. you had his phone in your pocket and you had to think of a way to give it to him without him being suspicious but also striking up a conversation about the text.

“i brought your phone, i don’t know if you wanted it,” you interrupted the silence by taking his phone out of your pocket and sliding it across the table. you tapped the screen of his phone before taking your hand back so he could see the text that was sent to him minutes before. 

eren looked down at his phone and felt his stomach drop. if you had brought him his phone, there was no doubt that you had seen the text as well. he didn’t even remember who’s number that was, much less the name of the person.

“so, who’s the chick?” you asked calmly but beginning to get agitated at the fact that eren had visibly tensed up when you had given him his phone. 

“y/n, i-” eren was at a loss of words, he didn’t know what to say. he had no idea who the number was on his phone but he didn’t know what to say to you. you both had a conversation about where your relationship was standing less than a couple hours ago and for him to receive this text, and for you to see it, made him feel horrible. 

“eren, honestly.” you sighed, putting your head in your hands before looking back up at him. “we literally just talked about what we were. who’s the girl?” you didn’t know what to feel. hurt? betrayal? you felt numb. was he playing you the whole time? 

“i don’t know.”

“what do you mean ‘you don’t know?’” you scoffed as you stood up from your chair. he was acting as if he had no idea what was going on. “after everything eren? really? you’re seeing other girls? you lied to me?” you could feel your voice wavering, all the emotions slowly crashing down.

“y/n, baby, that’s not what this is.” eren got up from his seat and made his way over to you, resting his hands on your forearms. you were trembling with anger and eren was not helping the situation right now. 

“don’t fucking ‘baby’ me, eren.” you pulled yourself out of his grasp, feeling the tears beginning to form in the corners of your eyes. “i don’t even know what to think. sasha told me about your past with historia, and frankly, i think she was trying to protect you as a friend for not mentioning the dozen other girls that you’ve fucked around with.”

he was well aware that he had a history with girls, he knew that he did have a reputation for talking girls up, making them fall for him, getting in their pants and then leaving. they always came back for seconds, but he never would really allow it, except for you and historia. things with you were different, you weren’t like other girls, he’d told you that before.

“i swear, y/n, i have no idea who that number is. i swore off other girls once i realized that i had a chance with you, i promise.” eren was practically begging you to believe him, but your gut feeling said otherwise.

“whatever, eren. i don’t have time for this.” you snapped back at him as you grabbed your keys from the counter top and made your way to the door, sliding your shoes on. you opened the door and looked back at him, leaning against the counter with his head in his hands. 

“reach out to me when you feel like being honest with me.” you slammed the door behind you as you made your way out of the building.

eren was left all alone in his complex, wondering what he had done wrong. sure, he should have maybe blocked the other numbers in his phone once he started becoming serious about you. you had been the only person that he could really be somewhat vulnerable with, he didn’t want to lose you.

“fuck.”

you had made your way back to your car, hands shaking as you turned on the ignition. there were tears running down your face as you drove. how could you have been so blind?

it had been almost a week since you and eren had gotten into that argument. in fact, you wouldn’t really consider it an argument, you had just discovered that there were girls in his phone. if there are other girls texting him, does that mean he’s texting them back? what if he’s cheating? we’re not like dating, but we’re exclusive, right?

you hadn’t really left your room, only for food, the bathroom, or school. sasha had noticed. the day you had come home from eren’s, you went straight to your room and slammed the door. she didn’t know if was appropriate to ask you or not because you were clearly upset. you hadn’t been eating as much as you usually did, and she was beginning to get worried.

it was around 5 in the evening and you were just starting a new season of your show when you heard a soft knock on your door, pausing before the episode started. 

“yeah?” 

“hey, y/n,” sasha said softly, before shutting the door and making her way over to the edge of your bed. you shut your computer and set it beside you as you shifted to make yourself more comfortable. “how’ve you been? i’ve noticed-”

“i’m fine, sash.” you whined at your response, you didn’t mean to sound like a complete bitch, especially to sasha. “fuck, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to sound like an ass.”

“don’t worry about it.” she brushed it off as she came and sat next to you on your bed. you wrapped your arms around her waist, you could feel that you were about to break down, and sasha could too. “now, do you wanna tell me what’s going on?”

you took a few deep breaths, you knew that if you talked about the situation with eren that you would break down. but you had cried in front of sasha before, she was your best friend.

“okay, basically, i was at eren’s, right? after we had the whole conversation about our relationship. oh, did i tell you that historia practically barged in on our date?” you had decided to start from the beginning, hopefully you’d be able to be calmed down when you got to the part about the text. 

“no way.” sasha’s jaw slacked in complete shock. “what’d she say?”

“she kinda just came up to us, acting all bestie with eren. he was annoyed about it, but then she brought up how he had talked about me a lot when they used to hang, which made me uncomfortable. so i ended up telling her off, but i felt bad afterwards because she seems like a nice person.” you sighed, burying your face into her side, trying to hide your embarrassment from being mean to historia.

“well, if she was bothering you, you had every right to tell her to leave. she’s sweet, but i’m not gonna lie, she can be a bit much sometimes.” her comment made you chuckle, sasha never failed to bring you out of a bad spot. “i don’t mean to pry but what happened with eren? you came home pretty pissed off earlier this week.”

“jesus, don’t even get me started.” sasha gave you a look that said ‘uh-oh’ before you continued on with your story. “we fucked when we got home from our date, and he went to go get me a drink when some bitch texted him.”

“you’re joking.”

“nope.” you enunciated the p as you sat up in your bed, back against the headboard. “when i confronted him about it, he kept saying that ‘it isn’t what it looks like’ and that he ‘swore off’ hooking up with girls when he realized that he had a chance with me. i didn’t believe him because my gut feeling was telling me that there was something up.” 

“wow. that’s fucked,” sasha was getting angry herself, especially after she had personally texted eren and told him not to fuck with you. “if i’m being honest, i’m not surprised. he’s done this to many other girls in the past.”

“yeah, i guess i kinda got swooped into it.” you laughed as you played with your hair. “but i still care about him, you know? he told me that he sees me differently than those other girls in the past. it’s just, i don’t really know how to feel.”

“have you talked to him?” he had been texting you the first two days after you had left, trying to see you and talk to you as an attempt to clear up what happened. you only gave him dry responses, saying that you were busy or you weren’t feeling well. he’d ask to come and comfort you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to see him, so you turned him down. after that, he’d stopped reaching out to you.

“i mean he texted me a bit at the beginning of the week but he’s stopped now after i told him repeatedly that i was busy.” you said quietly as you played with your fingers.

“he probably wanted to give you some space,” she reassured you as she made her way off the bed, opening the doors to your very messy closet. “but, let’s not mope! we need to get you out of the house.” sasha looked through your clothes, as if she was trying to look for something, but she had no luck. you always seemed to have all the sweatpants and baggier clothing whereas she spent a lot of her money on the flashy clothes. you didn’t mind though, the both of you shared your clothes like siblings.

“ugh, where are we going?” you sighed, not wanting to go out. but part of you thought it was a good idea, since you had practically been barricaded in your room the whole week. by the looks of it, it seemed that she was trying to get you to go to a party. you hadn’t been to one in a while considering everything, but this sounded fun. “is it a party?”

“you bet!” she flashed a smile before it faded away slowly, leaving you confused.

“sasha, what’s wrong?”

“nothing, it’s just that historia’s hosting it…” she said quietly before scratching the back of her head, looking back over to you. “she told me she texted you.”

“oh.” you didn’t really know what to say, how did she get your number? you guys shared some friends so that could be it. you reached over to your phone, not seeing any texts from unknown numbers but then you remembered that your phone filtered out unknown numbers. you clicked there and saw the text she had sent you.

(***)-***-****

hey y/n! it’s historia, i’m hosting a party later 

on friday at 8 if u wanna come! 

i feel like i started off on the wrong 

foot w/ u and i wanna fix that

hope u can come!

you reread the text, and thought about what she had said. she did piss you off in the beginning and you were a total bitch to her, so partially it was both of you to blame. her text was nice, and it made you rethink some of the things that you had thought about her before.

y/n

hi! im sorry i didn’t see this until now

but i’d love to!

dw ab what happened 

we can start fresh :)

you began to realize that you shouldn’t be mad at historia for what she did, but eren for how he treated her. you have known him for a while and you never really knew about what he did with girls or to them, but you knew that he did have a large body count.

“what’d she say?” sasha asked, taking you out of your trend of thought. 

“oh, she just invited me and said that we got off on the wrong foot and how she wanted to fix it. i told her not to worry about it and that i’d come.”

“ah, i’m glad!” she beamed, turning towards the door of your room. “let’s go look in my room for some cute clothes for tonight! you need to forget about eren and have some fun!” you gave her a weak smile before getting out of your bed and following her out the door to her room.

she opened the door to her closet, revealing more presenting clothes, noticing that some of them were yours but you didn’t say anything. she rummaged through, humming to herself quietly before pulling out a black slip dress with a slit on the side. 

“here, try this on!” she grinned, handing you the dress. you gave her a unsure look before slipping the dress off of the hanger. “put it on!”

you undressed yourself before sliding the dress over your body, it fit perfectly on you. you didn’t like the way that your bra straps were showing so you opted to go braless for the night. the dress made your curves pop out, all you needed now was a bit of jewelry and you were going to be set.

“sasha, this is perfect!” you gushed, pulling her into a hug. you felt really confident in this outfit.

“you look so hot, y/n. i swear, the guys will be all over you.”

“oh, stop it,” you gave her a playful smack before turning around and looking into the mirror. the dress was perfect, you felt hot.

she continued to look through her closet to find an outfit for her to wear, deciding to go with jeans and a cute backless top. she looked really good, you made sure to tell her that.

“so, what time should we leave?” you questioned, peering over at her as she threw her hair up in her infamous ponytail.

“well, she did say that it started around like 8, so let’s go around 8:30. being the first ones there would be weird.” sasha was always one to show up fashionably late, especially to a party. she thought it was awkward to be the first people at events, you agreed with her.

“ok, so i have time to shower and take a quick nap!” you beamed as you made your way to the door of her room.

“you and your naps, i swear.” she joked, before taking off her outfit and placing it on her bed. “i’m gonna shower and i’ll wake you up so you can shower after i’m done.”

“perfect!”

“y/n!” you woke up to the sound of the sasha opening your door, letting you know that it was around 7 and that it was your turn to shower, to which you nodded your head. you grabbed your bathrobe and exited your room.

you entered the bathroom and turned on the shower for the water to get hot before you took off your clothes that you had slept in. you stepped inside and felt the warm water hit your back, remembering the time that eren was in with you. you felt yourself smile, reminiscing about the feeling of being so close to him. you still cared about him, but the thought of him lying to you and talking to, maybe even seeing, other girls, just didn’t sit right with you. was he lying to you the whole time? and tonight, would he show? he said that he disliked historia and hadn’t spoken to her in a while since seeing her earlier that week. there’s no way he would be there. 

you made sure to shave your legs and your intimate parts, along with washing your hair. before you knew it, the water began to run cold, signaling you that your shower was done. you grabbed the towel that you had set on the toilet beside the shower, wrapping your body. you took a second towel and dried your hair a bit before moisturizing your form and reaching for your bathrobe. 

part of you hoped eren would be there, but the other didn’t even want to look at him. why were you so attached? why were things so confusing?

the door to the bathroom opened and sasha came in with her makeup bag in hand.

“the lighting here is better, hope you don’t mind!” she said as she placed her bag down next to the sink. she was in her outfit for tonight and her hair was half-up half-down.

“oh, no i don’t mind at all!” your voice wavered and she noticed it.

“what’s up?”

“nothing!” you denied before making your way over to the door. “it’s fine, i’ll come join you in a sec, ‘kay?”

“whatever you say,” she laughed as she shook her head before taking out her makeup.

the door to your room was still opened, like you had left it. you slipped the dress on and grabbed your makeup bag to meet sasha back in the bathroom. you didn’t know why you were so nervous, it was just a party, you had been to plenty before. so why were you feeling this way now?

you shook off the feeling and began to put on your makeup beside sasha, chatting away at how she was hoping that niccolo would be there. she really seemed to have interest in him, in a way you felt jealous. he was always treating her with respect, while eren did that to you. 

“i’m gonna play some music, y’know, to get us hyped up and stuff like that,” you announced as you played your favorite playlist. you partially wanted to play the music to keep your mind at ease and forget about eren to focus on the party. 

“oh my god, i love this song!” sasha squealed as she danced in the mirror, earning a laugh from you. this continued until sasha got a text from connie asking when the two of you were going to head over, offering to pick you up on the way. 

“i think that’d be smart,” you told her as you applied setting spray, “cuz then we won’t have to worry about driving.” she nodded her head and told him that it’d be great if he could lend a hand. 

“so,” she set her phone down, and looked at her complete makeup look in the mirror before turning over to you. “jean and connie should be here around 8, it’s 7:50 now.”

“that sounds good, i should be done any minute.” you had opted to leave your hair natural, just gently brushing it. they arrived a bit earlier than expected, so you and sasha went to the door, slipping on your shoes. both making sure that you had everything you needed for the night.

by the time you arrived with sasha and the two other boys, there was a large amount of people outside and inside the house. the house was massive, she must have some very wealthy parents who lived near the school. the sound of music and the smell of weed wafted through once you entered. you were greeted by people that you didn’t really remember, but you didn’t mind. people were eyeing your outfit, asking you to talk but you merely turned them down.

“someone’s popular! i’m gonna go get us some drinks, ‘kay?” sasha called over to you as she walked over towards the kitchen. 

“okay!” you yelled back over the music. it had been a while since the last time you partied but you missed the feeling. you made your way over to the living room and saw armin and annie chatting over in the corner. “hey guys!”

“hey y/n!” armin exclaimed, he seemed happy to see you. annie mumbled a quiet hey before taking another swig of her drink. “how’ve you been?”

“oh, y’know the usual,” you shrugged before sliding your phone in the light weight jacket you had brought with you. “i’ve been cooped up for so long so i decided to come out of my cave.”

“yeah of course, i get that. how did your exams go?” he asked, setting his drink down on the table beside him. 

“they were fine, i hopefully should be getting my grades back soon. thanks for your help by the way, i would’ve failed without you.”

“it’s no biggie, don’t worry about it.” he chuckled as he rubbed the back of his head. “hey, are you here with eren?” so he doesn’t know? wait, is he here?

“no, him and i are in a rough spot right now.” you sighed, looking around for sasha who had promised to bring you a drink but she was still nowhere to be seen. 

“what happened, if you don’t mind me asking?” annie spoke up, clearly intrigued by where the conversation was going. 

“just the fact that i was at his place and we had just fucked, and then some girl texted him.”

“oh, so he cheated?” she questioned.

“well no, i don’t know. i kinda was really upset so i didn’t leave him much time to explain himself.” you had left his place in such a rush that you barely gave him a chance to speak, partially because you didn’t want to hear what he had to say. the text was enough for you.

“fuck, i’m sorry y/n.” armin apologized before opening his mouth to speak again but you cut him off. 

“do you know where historia is? i want to thank her for inviting me.” the two of them were clearly uncomfortable but sasha came over just in time with your drink. 

“here y/n, i got your favorite! oh hey guys!” she beamed as she handed you your beverage.

“sasha! it’s good to see you!” they continued to chat as you looked around the room trying to figure out if eren was actually here. armin’s comment about you arriving with him did not go unnoticed by him. 

“eren’s here and he’s talking to historia but i couldn’t tell y/n that, considering everything.” armin whispered, leaning over to sasha. she was furious at eren, he was doing it to you now too? 

“y/n, let’s go take some shots!” she urged you, hoping that you hadn’t heard what armin had just said. much to her despair, you had heard and your heart dropped once again. you nodded your head, hoping that a few shots would help. 

before you knew it, you were more than a few shots deep. the alcohol giving you a buzz and it made you feel like you couldn’t give a fuck about what was going on around you. you felt free, dancing across the living room with sasha while the music blared throughout the room. you couldn’t help but feel a pair of eyes watching you.

“sasha, baby! i love you!” you slurred before grabbing the handle of vodka and taking a long sip. the feeling burned your throat as you reach for a glass of water to wash down the feeling.

“i love you more!” she dragged out her words and pulled you into a hug before a tall blonde came in between the both of you.

“wow, you guys are fucked.” he laughed before bringing his head down so you both could hear. “sasha, niccolo is asking where you are, he’s over by the kitchen taking with a few of his buddies.” 

“you go have fun, you will be my new dance partner!” you dragged him onto the dance floor as sasha gave you a cheeky smile. you and many other moved your bodies to the beat as he looked at you in awe, he didn’t know who you were but you interested him. 

“what’s your name?” he yelled over the music as he came behind you putting his hands on your waist. you were equally as drunk as he was.

“i’m y/n!” you responded as you brought your hands on top of his. you couldn’t deny it, he was insanely attractive.

“i’m reiner.”

you could feel yourself growing hot, it probably was the alcohol. you were way past your limit, and thank god you had eaten earlier because you probably would’ve been over at the toilet. his hands on your body felt different than eren’s, like he was trying to be careful with you, as if you were a doll. 

his name was called over the crowd and he apologized quickly before going over to where it was called from. “i’m gonna grab us some drinks, i’ll be back.”

“i’m gonna go find historia and thank her for inviting me!” you shot him a sloppy thumbs up as you turned around to go find the blonde girl. you weaved through the people, trying to find her. 

it seemed impossible with the amount of people, but when you turned the corner into one of the rooms near the living room, you saw her standing there and whispering with some dude. a tall guy with a loose man bun to be exact.

eren. 

it took everything in your drunken will-power to not go up to him and slap him.

“historia!” you sang as you swayed your way over to the two. 

“y/n! i’m so glad you could come!” she squealed as she brought you into a hug. “i’m so sorry about before i felt really bad about it afterwards.”

“no worries! thank you so much for inviting me!” you pulled out of the hug and gave her a smile. 

eren didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what to say to you. he just stood there as you talked to historia. more importantly, he had told you that he hadn’t talked to historia in a while and how he didn’t like her, you basically had caught him in a lie.

the way he was standing there, not saying anything, with historia, was driving you mad. 

“hey, eren, how are the girls? having fun?” you scowled as you stepped closer to him. you didn’t know what to say, your mind was clouded with alcohol. he was taken aback by your words, you really had no idea. his lack of response is what pushed you over the edge.

“you know what? fuck. you.” you seethed, bringing your hand up to his face with a hard slap before turning around on your heel.

“y/n, please, you’re drunk.” he reached out and grabbed your forearm. he needed to explain everything, he didn’t know what feelings you had endured this past week but he wanted to make it right.

“no, eren. let me go, please.” you felt the tears brim your eyes as you tried to turn away. he could hear the hurt in your voice, loosening his grip on your arm as you wiggled away and walked away through the crowd without turning back. “go be with her, for all i care. i’m leaving.”

what am i doing?

“y/n, that’s not - ” historia began as she reached out to you, before eren stopped her.

“let me go talk to her, she’s not in her right head right now.” he was worried, he didn’t want you to go do something stupid because of him. you meant so much to him, he had to clear things up with you. he left historia standing there and followed you through the crowd. he asked around if people had seen you, some saying they had no idea who you were and others just ignoring him. he needed to find you. the thought of some guy taking advantage of you while you were this drunk and emotionally unstable made his blood boil.

he searched all the open rooms in the house, only to find that you weren’t there. the only place he could think of where you would’ve gone would be outside. when he opened the front door, he saw you sitting down at the curb, it looked like you were waiting for some ride. he felt relieved, finding you here instead of inside. 

“hey,” he whispered quietly before sitting beside you, leaving some space between the two of you just incase.

“go away, eren.” your held your knees to your chest, seeing him would only make you break down.

i need to leave.

“can you at least let me explain?” your lack of response pushed him to continue. “the text, i have no idea who sent it, i’m not lying. whoever it was, i told them i wasn’t single anymore. and i haven’t been seeing other girls. back there, i was talking to historia trying to figure out how to work things out with you, you mean too much to me. nothing else, i promise.”

you still didn’t respond, you didn’t know how to feel. you weren’t necessarily ready to talk to him about this yet. eren could tell, but he didn’t need to hear your response yet. he just wanted to explain his side of the story so you’d hopefully understand. along with your relationship, your entire friendship was on the line. he didn’t want to fuck that up over some random girl who wanted to get fucked. 

“i just wanna go home, eren.” you whimpered, bringing your head to your knees to hide your face.

“okay, i can drive you.” he offered.

“didn’t you drink? i don’t want you driving if you drank too much. i can uber it’s fine.”

“nah, i barely had a beer. i was too anxious anyways. plus, i don’t want you getting in the car with some creep.” he gave you an apologetic smile before standing up and reaching his hand out of you to grab. you looked up at him and latched your hand onto his as he hoisted you up onto your feet. you stumbled into his chest as he held you there. he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable in any way but the way you gripped onto his shirt with your fingers with your soft whimpers, made his heart ache.

“c’mon, let’s get you home.” he brought his lips down to your forehead, not sure if it was okay to do. his hand traveled up to your back holding you against him, his heartbeat steadying. 

the car ride home was silent, but it was comforting. you both were gonna have to talk about this tomorrow once you were sober. you could feel yourself slowly drift off to sleep in the passenger seat of eren’s car.

once eren had arrived, he noticed that you still hadn’t stirred in your sleep. it was quite cute seeing you all cuddled up and he didn’t want to disturb you. he opened the door quietly and gently maneuvered you into his arms, carrying you bridal style through your complex and up to your apartment

he noticed that sasha still hadn’t returned from the party. you were cuddled up against his chest, breathing ever so softly. he smiled to himself, he was glad to have gotten that off of his chest earlier. 

he brought you into your room and gently set you down on the bed. sleeping in a dress would’ve been uncomfortable so he undressed you slowly, making sure not to wake you. he grabbed one of the oversized t-shirts that was on your desk when you had forgotten to do your laundry and he slid it over your form. he made sure to take off your makeup with the makeup remover that he had found in the bathroom. 

before he left, he made sure to tuck you in bed and shut off the lights. eren wasn’t sure if he should leave incase if anything happened in your drunken state. he looked over at you from the door. you looked so small, all cozy in your covers. your lips parted as you breathed in and out slowly.

he knew that he messed up earlier and gave you the wrong idea, but he’d do everything he could to make it right. you meant too much to him to be just one of those girls.

“goodnight, y/n.”

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