#I mean if you are upset or surprised by this storyline you haven’t been paying attention im sorry

[princessamericachavez]

I feel like people complaining about Ted Lasso pushing a narrative that insists on forgiving too much (like the racism Sam experienced) are missing the point a little bit.

The show didn’t tell us that Sam should have ignored the situation. As a matter of fact, just like with the airline plot line, it was shown that standing up and using his privileged position to talk about these issues was the right choice for Sam. But it’s not the easy choice. It’s not the safe one either. And there ARE consequences.

“If you really want to piss them off, forgive them” Sam’s dad says (more or less) and it doesn’t mean that they had a right to do that or that Sam doesn’t get to hurt or be upset by it (or that they shouldn’t be punished for it if possible). The thing is that the vandalism was aimed at upsetting Sam, at making him angry at the world, at making him feel unsafe and unloved and unwelcome. By letting it go, “fighting forward”, Sam wins.

Anyway, Ted Lasso has always been a show proponent that forgiveness is a possibility and a necessity for us to move forward without carrying the resentment and distrust with us forever. It’s also always been transparent about the fact that forgiving is the hardest choice, the one complicated both for us and the person who is receiving that forgiveness even when they might not be, or consider themselves, worthy of it.

Did the people who trashed Ola’s deserve forgiveness? No. Was Sam entitled to his anger and his pain and the desire to fight back? Hell yes. And the show doesn’t tell him not to feel any of those things. It just says… forgive them anyway. Be angry, and forgive.

[secret-rendezvous1d]

“don’t leave me”

hello, hi!

i definitely don’t think this is a one-off thing anymore and this blog may be on the way to merging into a harry styles + matthew gray gubler blog so i’d like to think that that is a new exciting venture people will . i’m really enjoying writing about a new scene, a new character and a new life to plan out and write about. the stories don’t essentially follow each other so they can be read anyhow and in any way but i’d like to think they all follow the same storyline/timeline so they link in that way.

like, reblog and give me some feedback. it’s greatly appreciated and it helps me work out what you want to see and what you are after.

thank you. enjoy.

-

“don’t leave me” spencer reid x female reader (reader insert imagine) word count; 2.1k.

* if you haven’t watched criminal minds then this does contain some spoilers to the show that you may want to dodge if you are thinking of starting the series up. *

summary; spencer struggles to come to terms with emily’s return and the betrayal of his friends.

-

“Spencer, look, we’ve got to talk about this.”

YN came to a stop with what she was doing when she saw her boyfriend and JJ starting a conversation in the station’s negotiation room, setting down the files she was sifting through so she could pay a little more attention to the conversation happening just a few feet away from the desk she was seated at, eyes still focused on the page with the bold name of a potential unsub printed at the top, accompanied by a picture of what they looked like. She tried to, at least, make herself seem busy without showing herself being nosey over a conversation that didn’t necessarily include her.

“What do you mean, talk about it?” Spencer questioned, looking at her in disbelief, “talk about what?”

YN hated how passive-aggressive he’d been, over the last two days, towards the two women who used to be considered a few of the only women close to him. He was never like that and, given what had happened, she understood his pain and his upset… she just hated how he wanted to push it, and them, away so he could carry on like an unexpected change hadn’t just sprung into his life.

“I get it, okay? You’re disappointed with the way we handled Emily,” JJ stated, hands on her hips as she stood around the opposite side of the table, watching intently at Spencer as he stood looking at the paper in his hands, eyes darting from the print to his scrawny handwriting on the board beside him, “I get that.”

The tension amongst the team was unbearable, to say the least.

As soon as Emily had entered the roundtable room a week prior to their case in Oklahoma, much to the surprise of everyone occupying the room who had stood waiting for the next plan of action to take down Ian Doyle and find his son, there was a sudden wave of uncertainty that seemed swallow the team whole and didn’t have plans on spitting them back out again anytime soon. No one could pick apart the emotions on one person’s face and state clearly how they were feeling. Confusion, shock, anger, happiness, joy, surprise… there were flecks of each emotion but never one clear facial expression that gave away how someone was truly feeling.

Now they were deep in Oklahoma, on a case and trying to find an unsub who had come to light in the recent murders of two young women prior to their touchdown, with Emily back in her regular place and trying her best to get back to normal as a BAU agent for the FBI. No longer under protection of the higher authority, no longer hiding behind an alias that took her identity away and stripped her of who she once was and she was finally able to go back to the Emily Prentiss whom she had been loved by many before life did a one-eighty flip. Almost as if nothing had changed, like the seven months she spent in witness protection hadn’t ever happened, like her death and her funeral and her burial were a fever dream that seemed to never leave the rest of them alone.

For most of the unit, having her back was something so wonderful and so great, to see her jumping back into a case with a mindset ready for justice and helping out with the mind she was graced with having, to have the same pair of eyes that were used to seeing case after case of young victims and unstable unsubs be considered a fresh pair of eyes now she was back. To work a case with someone you were comfortable with, that was what the most of them loved; the witty banter shared, the anger that bounced off from each sentence, the kind and caring charisma to get the best result of a case.  

But for some, it was difficult to adjust to something they had only just overcome.The grief they felt towards the situation of losing a beloved member of the unit, someone so loving and kind, a huge part of their team, it was unbearable and tore them down soon after they presumed they laid her to rest. Going back, visiting her burial site, resting flowers and almost keeping her updated with how everyone had been. They refused to believe she was gone yet denied her when she was found out to be healthy and alive and ready to start back where she left off.

“Well, I have a lot going on, alright?”

A lie, to say the least, but she wasn’t to know that.

“You know what I think it is?”

That caught his attention. And YN’s.

The one question that many profilers, specifically Spencer, hated to be personally asked was that question. They didn’t need to know what others thought when they could have the same thought pattern as each other, they didn’t need someone else telling them what they think they should be thinking and Spencer didn’t need a pity chat from someone who wronged him to find out what he was thinking.

Deep down, YN knew what the problem was and she was handling the situation as best as she could when she was alone with him in their hotel room, but she didn’t think it was as clear cut as people assumed. So how had JJ worked it out? If she was correct in what she thought was wrong with him, that is. He was hurt and he was upset and he was confused; he showed his grief towards missing a friend and he showed how much they meant to him by showing so much emotion yet he just couldn’t come to terms with how none of that was needed anymore. How he didn’t need to build his walls any higher because there wasn’t going to be any more heartache to deal with..

“What?”

“You’re mad that Hotch and I controlled our micro-expressions at the hospital and you weren’t able to detect our deception,” JJ suggested, a little more vigour in her voice as she spoke to him, frustration dripping from her words because she was desperate to get through to him. Absolutely desperate to find some way to resolve an issue that others had forgiven almost instantly, “you’re mad because you couldn’t catch us out on our lies.”

“You think this is about my profiling skills?” He scoffed and shook his head, looking back to the paper in his hands, ”Jennifer, listen, the only reason you were able to manage my perceptions was because I trusted you. I came to your house for ten weeks in a row, crying over losing a friend, and not once did you have the decency to tell me the truth,” he continued, disappointment laced through his words. And he so badly wanted to look up and catch the eyes of his girlfriend, the only one he felt truly supported him and his decision to act out, but he knew he needed to fight a battle of his own. Especially one that he caused but especially one that he was actively dragging out.

“I couldn’t.”

“You couldn’t? Or you wouldn’t?”

It was the first time they made eye contact through the debacle. And, in that moment, JJ could see the pain behind his eyes. The deceit he felt. The grief that was nonsense because they were grieving over no one. The time wasted crying. The time wasted over nothing but false information and lies. She could see he looked vulnerable and naive and she felt guilty for even bringing her back to help on the mission they so direly needed her help with.

“No, I couldn’t.”

“What if I started taking Dilaudid again? Would you have let me?” YN’s eyes shot up at the question he bit towards his colleague; he never considered that, she was sure of it. YN would have known if he did. That time of his life was something she wished he would let go of, something she wished he forgot about so he could carry on with his life, something she wished he never considered again, “I thought about it.”  

YN couldn’t only feel her heart ache but she could feel the eyes of Hotch and Morgan resting upon her figure as she tried to occupy herself.

“You didn’t-”

“I did,” he hissed, placing the paper down on the desk below him and striding towards the doors, passed JJ as she pressed an apology upon him, hoping to get him to stay behind so she could hash it out until he fully understood their reasoning why they chose the plan that they did, “I did.”

“Spencer, I’m sorry-”

“It’s too late, alright?” He mumbled.

His legs took him out of the room and down from the floor they were situated on, ignoring the calls from Hotch as he stood with his arms folded in the corner of the room, everyone watching him as he left to go outside so he could catch a breath of fresh air and clear his mind of all the things rattling around inside his head. An alarming look from Morgan and a squeeze to her shoulder had YN up from her seat, case files left behind as she followed her boyfriend out of the station’s vicinity, catching him on a bench just a short walk away from the entrance of the building.

“If you’re coming here to tell me I need to focus on work rather than what’s happening then don’t, Morgan. I’m not-”

“What on earth gives you the impression I’m the big dude with muscles and a charming voice?” YN teased, his upper body twisting so he could catch the sweet stature of his smiling girlfriend, the slightest hint of a smile twitching his lips before he turned back to face forward. Hands clasped together and resting on his legs, thumbs tapping and rubbing at his skin in circles, feeling the presence of his girlfriend behind him, “mind telling me what that was all about?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” He slipped to the other side of the bench so there was enough room for YN to sit down beside him, her hand reaching over to lace her fingers through his, squeezing his hand tightly as their conjoined palms rested upon his thigh, “I’m hurt and I’m angry, YN. I’m so angry. You saw how much I cried, how much I struggled, how much everyone had to adjust to life without Emily when she ‘died’. Yet they knew, they knew she was alive and they knew she was healthy and okay. They didn’t tell us and that’s- it’s sick,” he grappled, his voice full of passion; there was no way he was angry with them anymore and there was no way he would continue the trait up until someone said something to bring him back down to earth. He was glad she was home - he told her so many times in the last few days about just how great it was to have her home - but he never failed to drift back to the subject of how they dealt with the situation.

“They did it for her protection, Spence. They saved her and, essentially, saved us for truly having to say goodbye to her,” YN admitted, bringing their hands to her mouth so she could press a tacky kiss to the back of his hand, leaving a pink lipstick stain behind in her wake, “she’s safe now because of what they did. Doyle, he’s dead. Anyone who was after, they’re dead. She’s safer now than she was ever.”

“But they watched us grieve at a funeral. We buried something in that ground and were made to believe it was her,” Spencer sighed shakily, “they cried for her, too. They grieved. They said nothing was the same anymore. When they knew the truth all along. I cried with JJ, she helped me when you were working, she was denying it all but, in her head, she knew everything was a lie.”

“Emily left for a reason. To save everyone. She’s back now and you’ve got to remember how everything was before she left us,” YN’s hand gave his a gentle squeeze before she let go, bringing her hands to her lap and waiting for him to look up from the ground so she could see his eyes and so she could see his bright smile, “Spence, she’s not going anywhere.”

He nodded slowly and hesitantly lifted his head, his eyes a little raw around the rims and his lip a little chewed at, but the light in his face was still there. His body scooting closer to YN, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side for a little bit of romance before they were caught and checked on by another agent.

“You won’t leave me like that, will you?” He wondered, “don’t, okay? Don’t leave me.”

“If I’m going anywhere, you’re coming with me, mister,” YN grinned, leaning up to press a kiss to his pink lips, “we do it together or we don’t do it at all.”

[itsreigns]

Surprising Him

Elias x Reader

(Y/N) surprises him at Monday Night Raw after not getting to see him for a few weeks.

Warnings: Angst. Mainly Fluff.

Words: 2,676

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It’s been too long since I’ve seen my boyfriend. Three weeks with nothing but FaceTime and iMessage back and forth. I missed his face so much. Yeah, I know I saw it on the screen but it just isn’t the same.

I miss his face close to mine. I miss his face tucked into the crook of my neck. I miss his beard tickling me as he kissed down my body. I miss his scent. I miss the warmth that emanated from his body. I miss his deep voice. I miss him.

For the past few days, he tried to dismiss it but I could sense he was upset. If I had to guess, I’d probably say he was just bummed that we couldn’t be together on our first anniversary. He always said he wanted to be home, so we could have a private dinner, just ourselves, and enjoy our company. But unfortunately, his work schedule didn’t play in our favor. 

Initially, he asked for a couple of days off and they granted them, but a week ago, after Raw, he was informed that he was needed on the show on our anniversary day. He was so disappointed, and almost embarrassed when he called me to tell the news and call our plans off. I shrugged it off, obviously, and tried to comfort him. 

It wasn’t his fault, so I definitely didn’t want to make him feel even worse. Plus, it was very likely that it meant a huge improvement in his career and in his current storyline. Deep down he knew I was right, but I think he might have gotten the wrong idea. I had the slight feeling that he thought I was okay with not seeing him and not celebrating our anniversary. 

But it was the complete opposite. I was so heartbroken with the news of our now cancelled plans, but I didn’t want him to feel guilty or sadder about it. I moped around for some time, bummed about not seeing my husband, until I had a lightbulb moment. 

If he couldn’t come to me, I’d go to him.

How had I not thought about it before? Seriously, so dumb of me. It’s a special date for us, and I can definitely arrange to take some days off work. It will be perfect. 

I grab my laptop, my credit card and my phone and head to the sofa, ready to start booking my flight and arrange some nice hotel room for us. It took me about an hour and a half and lots of surfing the internet and scheduling to do it all, but it’s all finally set. 

Seattle is waiting for me! In three days, I’m going to surprise my husband on our anniversary. It’s going to be unforgettable. It’s not what we had planned or wished, but what truly matters is that we’ll be together. 

I decided not to tell him anything about my trip. It’s kind of rude, I know, but I’m definitely not trying to torture him. If I’m being honest, I just can’t wait to see the look on his face, always full of love and lighting up when his eyes land on me, especially after some time apart. And I can’t wait to have his arms around me, holding me tight against his warm and broad chest.

Three days later...

It’s finally here! Today’s the day. I’m already on the plane, 10 minutes away from landing in Seattle. I am so anxious, my stomach is flipping. I’ve got jitters just thinking about how close I am to seeing him. I swear I feel like a teenager on her way to meet her crush all over again. Help!

I’m bouncing my leg nervously, as I look through the window, watching the city come closer and closer in sight. When we finally land, I swear my legs tremble like jelly, I can barely stand up for a few seconds. It’s almost hilarious. I mean, he’s my husband and I feel like I’m about to go on a first date or something. I love how we still get this feeling about and around each other. 

Once I check out, I call an Uber as I go wait outside the airport. In less than 20 minutes, I’ll be entering the arena. Oh God, the chills running through my body just thinking about his warmth enveloping me. 

The Uber arrived in no time and the trip down to the arena was quicker than I expected. Thankfully though! The anticipation is killing me! 

I step out of the car, thanking the driver before he drives off. I reach my phone so I can pay for the ride, and give him a tip as well because he was so nice the whole time. When I’m done, I stare at the gigantic building in front of me, taking in the sight before texting Nattie, who was my inside girl. 

“I’m outside!” I write, barely holding onto my phone as my hands shake nervously. 

A few seconds later, it beeps, signalling a new message. “Don’t move! I’ll be there in 5. So exciteeeeed!”

I smile as I read Nattie’s text. Of course she’s excited, she’s all about surprises and parties and helping out her friends. I love her, she’s a great friend, I just wish I could see her often. 

“GIRL!” I hear her voice coming out of the building, making me turn as I spot her running towards me with a huge smile on her face. “How are you? I missed you so much!” She squeals excitedly, pulling me into a hug. 

“I missed you too, Nattie! And I’m better now that I’m here.” I admit, feeling myself blush a bit as we pull back and she fully faces me.

“Yeah, now that you’re about to see your man, you mean.” Nattie teases playfully, shooting me a knowing grin and earning a genuine laugh from me. “Let’s go inside.” She says, wrapping her arm around my shoulders and leading me through the front doors. 

We walk through God knows how many halls, carefully so Elias doesn’t spot me earlier than expected, until we finally arrive at the women’s locker room. As we step inside, all eyes turn to us. Some of them, I already met, the others I haven’t but Nattie quickly solved that problem by introducing me to everyone. And they are so nice! 

“Don’t be nervous! Elias will love your surprise.” Alexa said. 

“I bet he misses you so bad, he’s going to loooooooove it.” Nia replied.

“He won’t even see it coming. I want to see the look on his face when he sees you!” Lana added. 

Everyone was trying to support me and calm me down, I guess my nerves were that palpable. But being with them, eased me off. I’m feeling so much better, and I’m so ready to see my man. 

It’s been almost 2 hours since I’ve arrived. Raw is halfway through and we’re watching Elias’ segment. My stomach twists in nervousness from both his segment and our imminent encounter. God, I truly missed him. 

I watch him intently as he plays his guitar in the middle of the ring, only to be interrupted by Randy Orton who proceeds to attack him. They engage in a rough fight, making my heart contract in fear for Elias. I’m always so scared he’ll get hurt. He’s been there before and it wasn’t easy at all. 

The match finally ends. I look proudly at Elias through the screen, he’s all sweaty and there’s a bit of blood on his forehead but... I am so proud of him. All of his hard work is finally paying off. He so deserves everything good this world has to offer. 

“It’s time!!!” Nattie yells, clapping her hands enthusiastically, snapping me out of my thoughts. “C’mon (Y/N)!” She insists, extending her hand to me. I take her hand before getting up and following her lead. “Charly texted me, Elias is getting his forehead looked at by the medics, so we’re waiting for him outside the examination room.” 

“Okay, let’s go!” I say, taking a deep breath.

She squeezes my hand a couple of times as we walk towards the room, shooting me a couple of reassuring smiles along the way. Five minutes later, we arrived at the door signaled as examination room. 

“Now we only have to wait.” Nattie smiles, sighing deeply. I could tell she was also nervous for our encounter. She’s so sweet. “It will be great! I can’t wait!” 

By my count, it’s been 10 minutes since we got here. I’m getting super worked up, definitely not liking this delay at all. What if something was wrong with him? What if the cut in the forehead was more than a mere cut? I am getting even more nervous. 

Sensing my uneasiness, Nattie pulls me into a hug. “Hey, it’ll be ok. Sometimes these things take a bit longer than we’d like to.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m just worried about him.” I mumble softly. “And I truly miss him.” 

“I know you do. He’s just seconds away, though.” She encourages, smiling widely as she pulls back and faces me. 

Suddenly, the door opens, revealing an exhausted and shirtless Elias, with his gaze glued to the ground as the palm of his hand is connected against his freshly stitched forehead as if relieving some of the pain. I can also see some red and purple-ish spots on his abdomen and his pecs. He really took a huge beating. 

“That’s my cue. Bye.” Nattie whispers to me, managing to leave without Elias noticing neither of us.

“Surprise!” I shout, for some reason really shyly.  

His gaze moves up in a fraction of seconds, shock written in his features as he stares down at me, his mouth hanging open. His eyes are shining, filled with emotion and love. I feel my own get blurry with unshed tears.

“What-? I mean, how did you-?” He tries to ask, unable to form a complete sentence. I bet his mind is running a thousand miles per hour. “Nevermind, come here, baby.” 

He takes a step towards me and I meet him halfway, launching myself at him, carefully so I wouldn’t hurt him, and hugging him tight, wrapping my arms around his waist, as if my life depended on it. He quickly envelops me in his arms as well, wrapping them around my shoulders and pulling me to him tightly. 

I can feel him taking in my hair’s scent as he kisses it a couple of times. That makes my insides flutter. He misses me as much as I miss him. How difficult it is to find someone who is on the exact same page you are. I am so goddamn lucky.

“Happy anniversary, baby.” I whisper against his chest, then planting a kiss right on the same spot. “I missed you so much.”

He pulls back slightly, resting his wounded forehead against mine. “Happy anniversary, love.” Then, he presses his lips to mine, slowly and gently, pecking me repeatedly. “It means a lot to me that you’re here, (Y/N). You have no idea how much.”

“Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be, Elias.” I reply, in all honesty. “Wherever you are, that’s home to me.” 

“I love you so much.” He sighs, hugging me again. “Every day that I spend with you just shows me that I made the right choice when I asked you to marry me. You’re my girl, and you’ll forever be my girl.” 

“And I made the right choice by saying yes.” I smile widely at him, once we pull back. Then, he lets out a weird laugh, so I raise my eyebrow in confusion. “What?”

“You know… I kind of got the feeling that you didn’t care that I couldn’t be home today.” I’m about to interrupt him, but he doesn’t let me. “I know you care, but I was just… angry for failing you, and then you just acted indifferently, and it kinda stung.” 

“I knew you weren’t feeling good about canceling our plans, I knew how much you wanted to be home, and I didn’t want to make you feel worse. It wasn’t your fault, and I bet you were feeling guilty. That look on your face right there tells me I was definitely right.” I chuckle, and he smiles back, as blush creeps up his cheeks. "I didn’t act indifferently.” I assure him, resting my hand on right above his heart. “I was destroyed inside, Elias. I missed you so much, and all I wanted was to have you for myself and myself only for a whole night.”

“You can have me, baby. Anytime, I’m yours. Only yours.” He reassures me, pecking my lips again. “I’m sorry I failed you, though. I really wanted to be with you, at home.”

“I know you did. That’s why I came up with this magnificent plan of coming all the way down to Seattle to surprise you.” I laugh, feeling really proud of myself. 

“Yeah, about that… How did you pull this off in like… what? Three days?”He asks genuinely curious and amazed by my idea.

“I sat on our sofa for almost two hours, surrounded by my phone, my notebook and my laptop. I called Nattie and she also helped me with some of the details. It was hard, I’m not going to lie, but I’m stubborn, so yeah.” I sum it all up really quick, so I wouldn’t let it slip that I had one more surprise. 

“You’re very stubborn.” I cut him off by smacking his arm playfully. “And intelligent, and pretty, and everything good in this world and I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“Good, because I’m not going anywhere.” I whisper, feeling myself blush a bit as I get on my tiptoes so I could kiss him properly. 

“Speaking of which, I’m really tired and I have a hotel room waiting for us.” He informs, looking much more relieved and happy now. 

“About that… I’m not going to your hotel room.” I say, watching his face fall. “But neither are you.” This time, it’s his turn to look confused. “With Nattie’s help, I got us a really special hotel room, so we could celebrate properly.”

“You got us a suite?” He asks incredulously. 

“You’re goddamn right I did. A master suite, with a king size bed. Champagne, strawberries and chocolate waiting for us.” I can tell by the look in his face that his mind is already wandering in dangerous places. And I love it. “And a little bonus, that I think you’re going to love, considering you’re so sore: it has a jacuzzi.” I add teasingly. 

“Oh great. A jacuzzi, I think you’ll find it very helpful too by the end of the night.” He replies, his voice laced with desire and love.

“Yeah? How’s that?” I tease him back, biting my lip. “You’re going to wear me out? Get me sore?”

“Oh, baby girl, I’m going to make you feel so good, I’m going to show you how much I love you. I’ll be giving my wife the anniversary present she deserves.” He starts, whispering into my ear. “And then, I’m going to hold you tight to me and sleep peacefully with you in my arms after we’re all worn out and sore. When we get up, I’ll get you in the jacuzzi and I’ll massage your shoulders and your back. Or maybe we’ll go in for another round before we get up and then we’ll get to the jacuzzi.” He informs, lust filling his eyes, his tone so low, that it had me clenching my thighs together. Of course he noticed. “Already ready for me, baby?” 

“I’m always ready for you. So can we go?” I stutter, knowing I sound really ablaze and unsettled but that’s the truth, I can’t wait to be alone with him. 

“I can’t wait to get my hands on you either, baby. So after you.”

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Also follow up?

[chilling-seavey]

Passchendaele (AU) – Daniel’s Last Choice

A/N This is an alternate universe blurb for my Passchendaele universe; what would happen if Daniel’s PTSD got the better of him after returning home from the war…this is not part of the storyline we usually follow.

T/W: Major trigger warning for this. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO DESCRIPTIONS OF SUICIDE/DEATH OR BLOOD, EVEN ONLY SLIGHTY, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS BLURB. Passchendaele has been written as a completely uncensored and raw work of realist fiction and this blurb is no different. It is extremely graphic and can possibly be upsetting and triggering to some readers. Read at your own risk and please remember that suicide is not the answer and to reach out and get help if you need it. It does and will get better.

Daniel kept his eyes closed, head resting back against the trunk of the tree, the warm summer sun falling against his face. Elizabeth was resting on his lap, a book in hand, and her gentle voice filled the garden as she read aloud to him, her blonde curls housing his hand as he played with the soft strands. 

It was peaceful.

He looked down at her slowly, watching how her light eyes scanned the page she held in front of her as she read, her soft lips moulding each perfect word and he dragged his fingertip over them, interrupting her sentence. Elizabeth’s eyes shifted past the book to Daniel’s face that was hidden slightly from her view and she lowered the book to focus on him.

“Are you bored?” she asked.

Daniel shook his head lightly, caressing her face with his hand as if trying to memorize her, rubbing his thumb over her cheek and she leaned into his familiar touch. She turned to kiss his hand before shifting her head on his lap to start reading again, clearing her throat lightly.

As she continued where they had left off in their book, Daniel silently pulled his pocket watch from his pocket and read the time before slipping back away. She didn’t notice, simply continuing to read even if he wasn’t paying attention to the story anymore. His fingers danced over her jaw and down her neck to her collarbones that peeked out of the top of her dress and he traced them ever so gently. Elizabeth faded out and looked back at his face. Daniel didn’t even notice she stopped reading, eyes locked on his hand moving across her porcelain skin.

“Dani.” she rested the open book over her stomach and laced her fingers with his, pulling them to her mouth to leave a tender kiss to his hand. She shifted up on one hand against the grass on the other side of his lap to face him and they both stared at each other for a moment. “What’s wrong, darling?”

“Nothing.” Daniel breathed, eyes on her lips.

Elizabeth smiled softly and leaned in to kiss him, lingering there for a moment before pulling back again, just as quickly. Daniel moved back in, raising his hand to the side of her face to keep her close as his lips locked with hers in a gentle kiss. She smiled into it, her hand holding onto the front of his shirt as they stayed motionless for a moment. Daniel finally pulled back first, watching how her eyes stayed closed for a beat longer, as if she was stuck savouring the feeling of his kiss for as long as she could.

“I need to go home for supper.” Daniel whispered.

Elizabeth licked her lips from the familiar taste of him, replied with a just as quiet, “Okay.”

Daniel leaned in to kiss her softly again, staying against her lips for a few seconds before pulling back again, “I love you.”

Elizabeth grinned bashfully, reaching up to run her thumb across his cheek and then pushed it into the back of his dark hair, bumping her nose against his, “I love you too.”

They breathed together for a few moments, eyes locked on each other’s face and noses touching with how close they were. Daniel’s hand slid down her arm and to her waist, his hand trailing the curve of her corset, and across her back.

“You’re so beautiful.” he breathed.

Elizabeth pushed her lips on his strongly, full of passion, pulling him close by the front of his shirt until he was leaning over her a little and her other arm was tossed around his shoulders. Their lips met and parted a few slow times, sharing loving kisses until they were nearly breathless, heart beating hard in their chests. Elizabeth pulled back slowly first, massaging her fingers through the back of his hair as their eyes met.

“I will see you later then.” she whispered.

Daniel nodded weakly.

He had already made up his mind.

His house smelt like his brother’s favourite supper when he returned home and Daniel didn’t speak as he closed the front door behind him. He kicked off his shoes and headed down the hallway slowly.

“Where have you been?”

His father’s voice stopped him in his tracks and he turned his head to the right slowly to look at his father behind his newspaper in the parlour. The paper was lowered and his father’s cold stare burned into him.

“Have you been with her?”

Daniel bowed his head, staring at his socked feet, “Yes.”

“I mustn’t be surprised, however, I still am. While the real men are fighting for our country, my cowardly son is going out and chasing girls who do not even know their right place in society. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Daniel just continued walking towards the kitchen without an answer to his father. It was routine to be ridiculed by his father day in and day out; so much so that it hardly phased him anymore. He had endured so much that his words just seemed to bounce off his numb conscious and fall at his feet like a ball and chain, weighing him down more and more.

He helped his mother and sister set the dining room table, setting each fork and knife down with a gentle clink after clink. Four place settings. The chair beside Daniel’s usual chair sat empty. 

The family sat around the table as his mother served dinner and they all said a prayer before starting to eat. Daniel didn’t pitch into conversation, eyes downcast as he stared at his dinner plate, pushing around his food with the tip of his fork. Whenever he zoned out he could hear gunfire and the screams of agony from the war, still fresh on his mind. Daniel snapped back to the reality of his dining room with a gasp as his father slammed his hand down on the table top, rattling the dishes and cutlery.

“See what I mean?” he snapped across the table to his wife, pointing his knife in the direction of Daniel at his right. “He doesn’t speak anymore! He comes home early and refuses to speak! I haven’t heard one apology out of his mouth since he got off that train six weeks ago!”

Daniel took a silent bite of his supper, his hand trembling as he held his fork. He stared at the perfectly crisp white tablecloth, ignoring how his family stared at him; the rage and disappointment of his father, the worry and sadness of his mother, and the concern and confusion of his younger sister.

“Everyone in the congregation at church asks me why my son is home while theirs are fighting still. What do I say to that, huh?” his father continued loudly, angry eyes boring into Daniel. “That my pathetic excuse of a son is too much of a pansy to man up and fight for his country? That the actual pride of our family is rotting in the Belgian fields and not crying himself to sleep warm and safe in his bed?! Might as well just say both of my sons are as good as dead.”

Daniel scrunched his eyes closed and gently set his fork and knife on the side of his plate with gentle clinks, resting his forearms against the tabletop. His mother set a hand on his arm gently, as if to console him.

“Do not coddle him! He’s a man, not a wounded puppy!” his father snapped.

His mother’s hand lifted slowly from his arm and Daniel’s lungs shuttered.

“Or so he should be.” his father grumbled sharply under his breath as he took another bite of his dinner.

No one spoke for the rest of the meal. 

Daniel didn’t touch his dinner after that. He lost his appetite.

He had already made up his mind.

When supper had concluded, the family moved to the parlour for tea before bed. The father with his newspaper, mother with her knitting, and Anna with her book, Daniel was sat in perfect silence, staring at the fireplace. The fire flickered steadily, reflecting in Daniel’s blank eyes. He was unmoving, expressionless, numb.

He didn’t remember getting ready for bed but soon he was laying down, staring at the ceiling, listening to his parents argue in the next room over. This wasn’t unusual either; his parents bickering after the family retired to bed; his mother taking the side of ‘just let him be’ and his father taking the side of ‘he puts shame on this family’. They didn’t know that Daniel heard it all. Every night.

It was 2:30am.

Daniel’s eyes snapped open from another nightmare. He hadn’t planned on sleeping, but he must have drifted eventually. He was covered in a cold sweat yet again, chills tearing down his spine like he was back in the rain-soaked trenches, his eyes wide and staring up at his bedroom ceiling through jagged breaths. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears and each shaky breath he took.

The house was silent. Daniel sat up and swung his legs over the side of his bed, his bare feet touching the cold wooden floors. He took the stairs slow step by slow step but he felt like he was floating, unphased by the darkness of the house or the chill of the flooring, his hand dragging down the banister after him. His eyes locked on his destination: the small writing desk in the corner of the parlour where his father took his paperwork. It looked unused as it usually was – his father usually choosing to do his paperwork at the church – and Daniel walked over slowly to stand in front of it.

His mind was blank as he dragged his fingertips over the edge of the desk and down to the top-drawer handle, playing with the wooden knob for a moment before pulling it open. His father’s FN 1910 pistol was sat in velvet in the drawer, as if it was patiently awaiting Daniel’s arrival. It was a shining black, not even so much as a fingerprint was on it, and it drew Daniel closer, his hand dropping into the drawer to lift it carefully from its warm bed and into the air of the cold dark parlour. He held it up in his strangely steady hand – all too used to carrying firearms and weaponry from his months in the war – and admired it, turning it slowly to see all sides, his eyes lingering on the magazine filled with seven shiny golden bullets.

Daniel’s eyes drifted from the pistol to the fireplace mantle just next to the writing desk, catching the reflection of the moon light coming through the window off the photographs framed on top. He took a few shuffling steps across the floor to stand in front of the unlit fireplace with the pistol still in hand but hanging lazily at his side, his eyes falling onto the image of Christian staring back at him. The pride of his family that was rotting in the Belgian fields. Each framed photograph on the mantle stared back at him blankly, Christian’s face taunting him with freedom he wasn’t lucky enough to endure in the war. Daniel took a step back, not tearing his eyes from his brother’s photograph until he reached the doorway to the parlour.

His bedroom door closed behind him. He stood with his left hand on the handle for a few long seconds before stepping back from it, now in the privacy of his small childhood bedroom. The pistol was still in his hand and he looked down at it before sitting on the side of his single bed.

Daniel felt crowded and heavy, like he wasn’t alone, and he looked straight ahead into the mirror above his dresser. His reflection stared back at him, framed on either side by Christian and Zach in their military uniforms. The three of them all together were sickly pale.

Daniel didn’t speak, his mouth dry, and he looked between his brother and his best friend on either side of him through the mirror. They sent him small peaceful smiles. Zach glanced down at his hands in his lap and Daniel dropped his gaze to the black pistol sitting heavy in his hand. Out of the reflection of the mirror, Daniel was alone, but he still felt the presence of their two bodies as if they were pressed up right at his sides.

He shut his eyes tightly, tightening his grip on the pistol, the haunting memories of his brother and his best friend’s deaths coming back onto him in full force; the weight of his brother’s body on his lap, watching the life drain from his eyes, and the fear in his best friend’s face, replaced by his warm blood trickling down Daniel’s cheeks. It was a never-ending parade of disturbing and very real memories and Daniel was stuck living a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from day after day. There truly felt like only one way out. Only one way to feel truly at peace.

He raised his eyes back to the mirror across from him, the forms of Christian and Zach staring back at him calmly, unbothered, peaceful. Daniel stared at the mirror and reached his free hand out to touch his brother beside him but his hand fell right to the mattress instead, going right through the hallucination in the reflection. Christian looked down at his brother’s lap and Daniel followed his gaze back to the pistol. He raised his hand to the barrel and pulled the slide slowly, the click of the gun cocking momentarily echoing off his small bedroom walls.

His father was embarrassed of him, his mother pitied him, his community shamed him, and Daniel hadn’t felt true happiness for far too long. Every day was a struggle, every day was frightening even without the direct threat of warfare, and every day was miserable. He had never truly left the trenches. Daniel just wanted it all to end.

He raised the pistol higher, his hands starting to tremble slightly as he stared at it in front of him. He didn’t feel scared. He felt impatient.

His mind was blank. Perfectly blank.

He craved the escape from the memories.

He craved the feeling of calm again.

He craved the sweet, temping, delicious release of death from this hell he was living.

Daniel looked in the mirror again, the hazy reflection of his brother and best friend staring back at him as urging him to come join us.

Come join us where we can be at peace together.

Daniel turned the pistol around in his right hand, the barrel facing him straight on and he stared at the small dark hole at the end of it that was to be his way out.

Christian and Zach stared at the gun in his trembling hand; unmoving, silent, yet comforting.

Daniel kept his eyes on the mirror as he parted his lips and set the muzzle of the pistol in his mouth, staring himself right in the eye.

He wasn’t scared.

The taste of metal on his lips was more than apparent but it nearly made his mouth water with desire. His finger dropped steadily to the cold metal switch of the safety and he flicked it off.

Daniel moved his finger to the trigger, eyes flicking between his brother on his right and his best friend on his left through the mirror, watching them eye the pistol in his mouth calmly.

He wasn’t scared.

He inhaled.

Christian and Zach looked right at him through the mirror and smiled reassuringly.

He closed his eyes, tightening his finger on the trigger.

He wasn’t scared.

He exhaled.

A single shot rang through the house, echoing and loud for a split second before returning to eery silence just as quickly. The body had fallen backwards onto the bed with an ever so gentle ‘thud’, the dark red splatter against the white wall starting to drip steadily towards the wood flooring, being caught by the bedsheets halfway, matching the pool of blood soaking through the pale coloured quilt almost instantly and seeping thickly into the mattress. The lifeless blue eyes stared up at the ceiling; almost just as blank as they had been since they returned home from the front lines, weak hands letting the pistol fall to the floor with a dull clatter.

He laid alone.

The sun rose like any other morning, the rest of the world begin to wake with it. The kitchen was soon filled with the sounds and smells of breakfast prep, the mother peacefully working, unknowing that her second son was lying dead in the room right above her.

The sister sat in the kitchen with her mother, keeping her company while she cooked breakfast, discussing the new stitch she had learned for working at the factories, unknowing that her second brother was lying dead in the room right above her.

The father sat in the parlour with the morning paper, waiting for his wife to deliver his morning coffee, unaware of anything different in his household, too distracted and too busy to notice his desk drawer laying open across the room.

The mother noticed it first, after bringing her husband his morning coffee, making her usual stop by the fireplace mantle to offer a silent greeting to the photograph of her eldest son when her eye caught on the open drawer. Her heart stopped for a moment as the velvet inside was cradling nothing but the heavy air that suddenly seemed to settle over the room.

She whipped her head around to look towards the stairs, frozen in place for a beat.

“Daniel.” she breathed.

Her husband looked up at her over his paper and then turned to look towards the stairs too, and, when he saw no one there, he just turned back to his reading.

The mother took the stairs two at a time on shaky legs, pulling herself up the flight by the banister before reaching the closed door at the top. She didn’t even knock before pushing it open and nearly falling right inside the small bedroom.

The sight she came across had her breath halting in her lungs for a second, her only other son’s body laid limp across his bed, the blankets below him completely soaked in a dark red and the wall behind him stained in a gruesome splatter. The pistol laid on the ground at his feet.

The mother’s blood curdling scream nearly echoed through the entire town, her heartbroken shriek of her son’s name filling the house, “Daniel!”

She was sat his side in a fleeting moment, as if she could somehow save him, grabbing onto his arm and trying to pull him off the bed through her blurring tears, clutching him to her chest as she fell to her knees on the ground through wracking sobs, covering herself in her son’s warm blood and his heavy lifeless body.

Simply another casualty of the Great War.

[silvia7272]

8 ~ The Blog-Off

I thought it would be time to meet some of the secondary characters I haven’t introduced yet. Also, I think this might be the third to last one before Piper is introduced to the gang? Maybe, just soon, I hope. And I think it’ll feel like a massive info dump but oh well, I wanted more people than just the class.

Also, I want to give these characters some actual personality traits, hope you like them.

Since I’ve made it that Timetagger isn’t canon in my storyline then I’ll have to add that Alix’s watch is just a unique watch and not a Miraculous since she’s a part of the class salt. Hopefully, that makes sense. Also, the episode Feast hasn’t happened either.

Word Count: 5698

Tags: @queenmj10, @fangirl39, @animegirlweeb, @northernbluetongue, @maribat-is-lifeblood, @raisuke06, @indecisive-mess-named-me​ @luleck​, @themotherofhogwarts​, if you wish to be tagged all you have to do is say. Also, if you change your name please tell me, I don’t want to leave you out since you’ve asked to be tagged.

.

Ok, so I just checked on the fanon website information for Miraculous Ladybug and it says Juleka and Alix are 15, how? And why couldn’t they just make it simple so they’re all 13 at the start? I really don’t get it, could someone explain it to me, it just seems so odd to only have 2 people at different ages, (Just saw that Kagami is 15 as well)? For now, they first became heroes at 13, Adrien 14 because his birthday was in the bubbler. Including those 3 cause it makes more sense, because if Juleka really is 15 it's said that Luka is 2 years older than her so that means he’s 17 and that makes me extremely iffy about him liking a 13-year-old Marinette. Yikes, I like Luka leave him alone damn it.

So, the second year of Miraculous Ladybug, they’re all 14-15.

***

It was a particularly sunny day at Collège Françoise Dupont. There hadn’t been any Akuma’s for a while. Leaving everyone a chance to relax.

Well, most could relax.

“Aurore I’m sure its fine, you don’t need to stress so much” Her friend Mireille tried to calm her friend down to no avail. She was still staring at her phone.

“Y-Yeah cheer up. It's only been a day. Maybe people just haven’t l-looked under that tag yet?” But that response only made the blonde glare.

“How could they not. Its an actual Akuma battle I was able to get hold of and nothing? Unbelievable!” The video itself was of the Akuma SleepSis, Aurore was able to get some footage, shaky, but she was able to upload that battle.

Unluckily for her, it seemed that no one was interested but a few people. She couldn’t understand, it had Ladybug and Chat Noir as well as that new hero everyone wanted to know. But because she was new no one paid any attention to it.

“Hey, it's only the first video. Maybe if you make more people will see you.” Mireille suggested, she didn’t want to see her friend upset, they had started to become closer after their rocky start and she didn’t want her to be Akumatized because of this.

“It's so not fair, my video is the latest Akuma fight and nothing has come of it, meanwhile little miss blogger gets all the attention and she hardly does any posts about Akuma’s anymore, it's all about this Lila girl, who by the way is completely fake. Nothing on Akuma’s, more about Ladybug’s love life, why should we give a damn about that-” And here we had a completely wild Aurore, she was ranting while her friends were trying to calm her down. Marc already knew Lila was lying when Marinette told him after… Certain events happened. And Mireille was a good friend, believing Marc and Aurore right away, they had come at separate times and besides, after hearing the girl, all Mireille could see was fakery everywhere.

“Excuse me? Can we sit here?” A voice spoke, breaking the three out of their conversation.

“Huh? Marinette! How are you?” Aurore stood to hug the bluenette who was overjoyed with the fact they saw each other again. Their class schedules were so spread out, this had been the first time, before Rosina joined in fact, that she could see them.

And boy did they change.

“Err Marinette I don’t want to tell you this but Chloé is behind you, extremely close behind you” She pointed to the blonde who didn’t seem amused at all.

“Geez blondie, don’t talk about someone who’s in-ear reach!”

“Well maybe if you weren’t so close to us you wouldn’t hear!” They glared at each other so hard you could see the literal spark in their eyes.

This was going to be a long day.

***

“Sooo you two are friends now?” Mireille concluded after hearing this whole story.

“I find that extremely hard to believe” Aurore spoke, her eyes still not breaking away from Chloé.

“Well, no one's forcing you!” She retaliated.

“Eheh… So where is this miracle worker?” Marc but in, he found it better that Chloé was trying to mend her old ways, and try to redeem herself. It seemed to be working at least, she wasn’t insulting everyone at the table, only Aurore.

“She said she was coming later, she wanted to go explore something” Marinette explained, oblivious of Chloé’s horrified expression.

“And you let her!? You know she needs to be kept in check, what if she’s halfway across Paris by no-” Arms appeared around the girl's shoulders.

“Mari! Chlo! Hiya” It said.

“Ahhh! Don’t scare me like that!” Chloé hit her head, she was too surprised to realise who it was, but she wasn’t sorry, no one should scare someone and expect nothing to happen to them.

“Hey, no fair, it was only as they say a jest” Marinette held an embarrassed smile. Taking Rosina’s arm as they sat down at the table.

“Anyway Rosina, these are the friends I was talking about. Aurore, Mireille and Marc” She pointed to them as Rosina excitedly waved.

“H-Hi-” Marc couldn’t finish that sentence.

“Wow, I love your pigtails they look so cool. Aww, you look so cute in that outfit, like a cute little panda. Wow, I love your t-shirt I so want one for myself.” They all seemed confused. Why was this girl flattering them?

“Don’t worry she does that to everyone,” Marinette clarified.

“Yep, I read if you want to make a good impression you must compliment to provide a friendship with them, now that we’re friends what should we do?” She smiled an enormously large smile, she looked cute and happy, like they could feel the positivity radiating of the girl.

“You’ll get used to this as well, she’s always this happy.”

It was silent after that. No one really seemed to talk, because there was still a big elephant in the room. And it was all pointing to a specific blonde.

“Ugh fine I get it. I’ll go and leave you all in peace” Chloé got up and started to walk away. But two hands pulled her back.

“Wait Chloé it's fine. You seem like you’re really trying so I’ll give you a second chance.” Mireille said.

“Mmhmm, yeah Chloé you’re getting so much better, she even got me a phone” She held it up, her charm still intact, she wanted to take good care of it.

“Wow really?” Marc was surprised, Chloé actually gave someone a present? Was she an imposter? No, it didn’t seem like an Akuma.

“Yeah wanna see?” The redhead excitedly showed off her first-ever phone to the boy. Even explaining things Marc knew but didn’t have the heart to tell her.

“Mhmm buying your way into friendship now?” Aurore so wasn’t convinced at all; sure, people could change but she wasn’t about to forgive Chloé after all the years of her bullying her.

“For your information, Rosina was in need of a phone because she’s never had one. So, it was a gift” She retorted, arms crossed as Marinette put her hand to her forehead. Her and Mireille had given up trying to hold them back, it was obvious they weren’t going to like each other, it might take more time for them to get along.

“As if I’ll fall for that trick. I’ll see you crack under the pressure real soon Chloé Bourgeois.” She huffed as her head turned, refusing to look at her anymore.

“Whatever Aurore Beauréal” The other four were paying attention to Rosina as she was showing all her new apps.

“Err, R-Rosina I can’t understand any of it, what language is it in?” It wasn’t in French that was for sure.

“See see, since I’m still getting used to the French, so I’ve put it in Arabic since it's easier, that way whenever I text my friends they won’t get confused if I get anything wrong.” She gleamed as she put it back in her bag.

“It's fine Rosy, we can help you just tell us ok?”

They continued to talk as they had 1 hour of a free period left. And a previous topic came back to relevance.

“So, you’re a blogger as well?” Rosina was told what a blogger was after Alya overheard her uncertainty. She was dragged off by the girl as she explained. She showed all of her videos to her. Rosina was amazed by the fact one could capture motion and replay it. She had heard about a blog before but had yet to see it. Chloé and Marinette were able to steal her away after causing a distraction.

“A beginner, I was kinda inspired by Alya’s, but it slowly derailed into fake news, so I wanted to make one myself, for Ladybug. She’s been amazing for us and she deserves to be respected. Not pry about her love life or identity” Marinette was beaming on the inside, finally, someone wanting facts and information, plus she knew Lila was bs anyway. She couldn’t be more relieved.

“But… No one seems to want to watch it” Her confidence wavered, Marinette felt dejected, how could she help her she wondered?

“Can we see it? I wanna see what it's about” Aurore beamed with joy, she happily showed her, watching for any change in the girl's faces.

But before the redhead could state her opinions, the blonde beat her to it.

“There's nothing special about it”

“What! H-” She held up her hand, she so wasn’t done.

“It looks like a video that Césaire girl could do, hell I could do that with my eyes closed. There isn’t anything special here” Aurore had enough, how dare she walk in here and disrespect her like this. The pigtailed girl was so close to being done.

“Chloé’s right”

“Rosina you can’t just say it like that!” Marinette was concerned, please don’t make her have to face off Stormy Weather again!

“No wait- I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry Aurore, I just think you can change it, that’s all” She frantically waved her hands around as Aurore blinked.

“Huh?”

“I just mean, Chloé is right that it does look like Alya’s, so maybe you can make different err- what's the word… Content yeah that. Make different content, like an analysis of Akuma, and their powers and weapons.” Marinette shot up, ideas filling her mind.

“Maybe you could interview the heroes about questions regarding Akuma’s? I know people would feel better having their queries answered.” Mireille then joined in.

“You could include tips on how to stay safe during an Akuma attack? That could be useful.”

“I-If you want a script to use, I could help with that?” Marc piped up.

“And since I’m feeling generous, I guess I could lend you some space to use for your videos. Anywhere else would be barbaric” Aurore would’ve glared at her, but she couldn’t make herself do that. They were all encouraging her to continue, to make it unique, to make it her own.

She smiled.

“Thanks, you guys. I’ll be sure to remember this. And you too Chloé” Said blonde smirked.

“What? Sorry I didn’t hear that” She became irritated.

“Chloé please stop teasing her, that’s not a very nice thing to do” Rosina grabbed onto her arm, trying to stop the inevitable argument.

“Ugh fine, it wasn’t any fun anyway” Now they felt shocked. Chloé willingly giving up her teasing? That was unheard of- maybe Rosina really was a good influence after all.

***

[This is great, love the special guests]

[Thanks so much for the advice!]

[Thank you, sweetie, I’m sharing this with everyone xxx]

Hundreds of comments like these appeared within minutes of her second video. Amazingly Ladybug had somehow heard of what Aurore wanted to do and brought Crisono along for the ride as well. Because it was a quiet night, they were able to gain so much information, and Aurore was able to stop fangirling and have a proper conversation with them. They got so many recordings done in a single night Aurore was able to go to sleep feeling peaceful.

Her second video consisted of self-defence demonstrated by Ladybug, it held a serious yet comedic approach as Ladybug demonstrated what would happen if someone, Akuma or not, attacked you using Crisono. Ladybug playing the hero while Crisono played the villain, and what a funny villain she was. It was a huge hit and the viewers wanted more, wanted to know more about Crisono.

Luckily her third video would consist of who exactly Crisono Tassa was? They knew she didn’t hold a Miraculous, so the mysteries surrounding her were endless.

She was so happy by the boost she couldn’t help her locking onto Rosina the minute she spotted her at school.

“Thank you thank you thank you! They love it, and Ladybug and Crisono came to help me. Rosina, you’re the best” Rosina could only pat the girl on her back as her limbs were constricted from moving.

“I didn’t do anything really. But I’m so glad you’re happy Aurore, I mean I know my acting wasn’t the best bu-”

“What?” Mireille asked, what acting was she talking about?

“In the v-” Marinette clamped a hand over the redhead's mouth.

“Well I think I heard the bell go, and you know how Mlle Bustier can be with tardiness so byeeee!” Once they were out of earshot of the three new friends Rosina had made Marinette gave a glare to Rosina.

“You can’t keep doing that?” Rosina tilted her head.

“Doing what?”

“Revealing your identity to people Rosina. It was fine with Marinette because she’s Ladybug, and there were circumstances with Chloé but you can’t do it with other people it can be really dangerous” Tikki came out lightly reprimand the girl, Tikki had long ago deemed Rosina safe to be around as well as hold a secret, and came to care for the girl just like Marinette, she only wanted to protect her.

“But it's fine, it doesn’t matter if people know it's me” She tried to reason. But the bluenette shook her head.

“Yes, it does Rosina. Your friends and family could get hurt if Hawkmoth ever finds out your identity. Please Rosy. Don’t reveal yourself to anyone else”

“But Mari, I only have you, Chloé, Kagami, Adrian, Chat, Aurore, Mireille and Marc as my friends” Marinette would’ve winced at the mention of the blonds but now wasn’t the time.

“Yes but-”

“Plus, I have no family, so he can’t use them to get to me”

.

.

.

“W-What?”

“I don’t have a family, I only have 8 people to protect, so that’s why I’ll strive to protect all of my friends.”

“B-But what about-”

Riiiiiiiiiiing

“Well class should be starting soon, c’mon Mari, we don’t want to be late ok” Before the bluenette could answer she was already being dragged off, she couldn’t stop her as the words went around in her head.

I don’t have a family

‘How can she say that so casually? And what about Franchezca, what about her?’

These questions whirled around the girl’s head so much she couldn’t pay that much attention to the lesson. Not like Bustier called on her. She was glad for that.

Maybe she could ask later?

***

“Rosina?”

“Yep,” A voice spoke, popping the ‘P’. They were walking around the city; they were meant to be meeting everyone as they had planned to all hang out later but Marinette was able to convince Rosina to go earlier. And Marinette felt it was a good enough time to ask Rosina what she meant beforehand.

“You said you don’t have any family to protect. But you also call Mlle Franchezca Aunt? So, if it’s not too much trouble, could you explain?” She stopped walking.

“I mean you only want- I mean, only if you want to. I don’t want to force you or anything” She really hoped she hadn’t offended her.

“Its fine Marinette, I just don’t know where to begin”

She placed her hand under her chin, looking to reminisce on something.

“Let’s see, how did Aunty say it again?”

~

In the middle of a desert, an older woman with a cane walked.

She was searching for that damn forth Trinklet and it was nowhere. But she needed to find it fast, if not then it would crack.

And she really didn’t want to spend any more time in this stupid desert than she had to.

But then she saw a glow.

‘Perfect’ She thought, making her way towards it, believing that would be the end of it.

But it was only the beginning.

As she came closer to the glow, she saw a bundle of blankets next to it. She was surprised about that discovery.

But that was nothing, because then she heard a cry.

“What the-?”

She rushed to the blanket, if it was what she thought it was then she had to move quickly.

And like she was able to predict… It was.

A baby.

“Who would leave a kid all the way out here?” Franchezca decided that she would try and find out who the baby belonged to. Of course, she wasn’t going to get attached to her.

No, of course not.

That would be absurd.

~

“She always blamed my smile was the reason she couldn’t give me up” Rosina had finished her story as Marinette stood there.

“So, you really don’t have any other family members?”

“Nope, I don’t know anyone related to me. And Aunty always told me to call her Aunty cause she didn’t want to be called Grandma.” She laughed as she remembered the embarrassed look she gave when the Silver-eyed girl said Grandma once.

“You were just… Left alone?”

“Yeah, she told me this poncho was the only thing I had on me. That’s why I wear it everywhere. But it's alright. Aunty took care of me for all that time, and then I got the chance to train to fight all the Trinklets in the world. It's great” She raised her arms in the air to exclaim she wasn’t even sad.

Swish.

“I didn’t know you wanted a hug, Mari?”

‘She doesn’t seem bothered at all; I want to feel sorry for her but… Should I?’

“You do have family”

“Mari I-” She was about to repeat herself but Marinette jumped to cut her off.

“You have me and Maman and Papa. We’re your family. All of our friends are family and your Aunt. That’s why you can’t reveal yourself to anyone” Rosina paused. She wasn’t expecting… That.

“Really?” It was barely audible but Marinette heard it. And it was so sincere.

“Yeah, so please promise me you’ll stop doing that”

“…Ok. But if I can’t transform in time you can’t blame me if anyone sees” She cheekily replied her usual self-returning.

“Fine, but that’s only if, ok?” She shot back; Rosina nodded before they continued on their walk. Apparently, there was someone she wanted Rosina to meet. All she knew was that he didn’t attend Collège Françoise Dupont.

***

“Rosina, this is Luka. Luka this is Rosina.” They had arrived at *Pont des Arts the meeting place Marinette had organised earlier, all of her friends arriving later gave Rosina enough time to get along with the newcomer, everyone else knew him, it was only fair if Rosina got some time too.

“Pleased to mee-”

“Wow, your hair looks so cool, were you born with it or did you dye it? Wait, are you by any chance related to Juleka? Wow you look so cool” She repeated as he stood back just a bit, he had predicted her melody to be calm and slightly childish, now it had just changed dramatically… He needed a moment to adjust.

“Sorry Luka, I should’ve warned you she was hyper.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, it’s good to see you so happy, Rosina seems to have drowned out that melancholy you had” That caused Marinette to blush before she looked back at Rosina. They continued to have a small conversation, at least before everyone else arrived anyway, although it did surprise Marinette when Luka kept looking around and checking his watch, was he waiting for someone? Was he just biding time before leaving them? Was it going to be his girlfri-

“Hayo, Luka long time no see? It’s been like sooo long” A girl who looked like the same age as Luka approached the gang of 3. And she looked so pretty.

She had green hair that complimented her dark skin, her orange jacket looked of high quality and red trousers, was this who Luka was waiting for? Was this his gir-?

“Noémie, it’s been a while, I should have asked before, but I was wondering if my friend could hang out with us?” Marinette was slightly put off, ever since the Lila situation she’s been ever so slightly apprehensive of new people, but she guessed since she’s a friend of Luka’s she would soon be a friend of hers.

“-Gasps- Luka is this the Marinette ya keep talking and gushing about? Oh, my life. She is the cutest little thing ever. Selfie child” Before Marinette could respond she’d already taken a selfie.

“You look even cuter on camera, oh stop ya gonna kill me smols” Noémie’s hand was then grabbed by someone else, it wasn’t forceful at all, but she did lookup.

“Hiya Miss, I just wanted to say that I love your green hairstyle, it looks super cool on you”

.

.

.

‘Is that a tear-’

“Oh my god these two smols are so like adorable, I’m officially adopting you two, my precious little babies.” Marinette would soon learn she would never be able to finish another thought around the green-haired girl. Ever again.

And adopting?

“Eheh no thanks, I have a Mother and one is more than enough” She tried to get out of the hold but couldn’t.

“What’s adopting?”

“I’ll… Tell you later” Mari sighed, this seemed to become a long day.

“I was going to tell you that she can be a bit extreme, but she beat me to it.” Luka sent an apologetic smile towards the two, more to the bluenette since Rosina seemed to be enjoying the affection. It wasn’t like Noémie was doing anything harmful, but he knew she could be a bit… Overbearing at times.

“Selfie time”

“But you just took one?”

“Like girl, ya can never have too many selfies with smols like ya. All these photos can stay online forever. All these memories we can have and keep and look back on is like sooooooo cool. Now say cheese!” her monologue was filled with so much passion for selfies Marinette was able to giggle.

Ok, she liked her, she seemed really quirky.

Whether it was luck or not the others arrived not too long after, unluckily Noémie tried to use that same trick on Chloé because she was apparently a fan of the Mayor’s Daughter…

Yeah, that didn’t turn out well.

But she got over it when they both started taking selfies.

To the extreme.

It was a selfie war at this point.

The 6 were put on edge, but they decided to stay with them, so it was their fault.

Although there was one thought a young blonde had since the day they met.

And it was starting to get to her. And considering they were at the mall anyway she could enact on her plan.

“Rosina let’s get you a new outfit. My treat” She had to try and slowly ease her into it. If not, it would sound mean, and she couldn’t possibly do that to the redhead.

But said redhead couldn’t reply before a new blonde nuisance had to but in.

“Why? What's the occasion Chloé, you wouldn’t happen to be buying more ‘gifts’ to keep your friends, would you? Or could it be that you simply don’t like Rosina’s fashion sense?” She wrapped her arms around the redhead, her new innocent friend who didn’t deserve to be tricked by anyone, even if she knew Chloé was trying to be better.

“Aurore” Mireille tried to ease the tension, but she knew it was to no avail.

“No, I just thought we could all go on a shopping spree. But of course, you wouldn’t know anything about fashion to begin with.” She shot back, two could play at that game and so far, she was winning.

“Chloé” Marinette was now trying to keep the piece as Luka squeezed her shoulder in support. He knew they were just teasing, and it was kinda fun to watch.

Marinette.exe has stopped working.

While everyone else was concerned over a passed out Marinette, Rosina started smiling. The two blondes grew confused before their hands were grabbed.

“Ok, let’s go shopping. I’ve never shopped for clothes before so let’s go” They were dragged off with a bouncing Noémie following as the others were preoccupied.

Chloé and Aurore both wanted to drag the girl off to separate stores but unfortunately, they found out if you start pulling on a person, it will eventually hurt. Marinette had to pry them off her before scolding the two, the others either laughing or taking photos, although I think you know who was taking photos, with the caption: new Mum of the group.

Rosina’s first pick from Chloé was a lovely white knee-length dress, black leggings and a light blue jacket. It seemed lovely before Aurore gave her own pick. A floral pattern navy blue dress with white leggings. Of course, the two bickered which one was better as Marinette gave her own pick. And she looked so cute.

A blue tank top with a matching skirt with a teal bodysuit underneath.

“Wow, this is so stretchy, look look I can do the splits in these.” That earned her a clap as she excitedly bounced up and down. And Chloé couldn’t help the feeling of happiness in her gut. It never happened before with Sabrina or Adrien, was it because she wasn’t just bossing them around?

Yeah, that might be it.

“Hey, I could probably sew something onto it to make it stand out if you want?”

“Really? That would be so cool Mari, thank you bestie?” They hugged before Mireille and Marc chose a new outfit as well.

Did she deserve this? After everything she’s done? Did she really deserve this?

Did she-?

“Hey, your friends are trying to help you Chloé, you are included blondie, don’t screw it up” She nudged her shoulder gently.

Huh, she must’ve been able to tell what she was thinking?

But Chloé wasn’t about to admit that. Especially not to Aurore of all people.

“Whatever, I know I’m their best friend, something you could only dream of having” She gave a playful smirk back, they were starting to get along without even knowing it.

“Hayo guys, let’s take a selfie to mark the beginning of this beautiful like friendship with all of you smols. Hope we all hang out some more” Holding out a camera for the 8 people there, posing for the camera, Noémie planning to tag them all later.

“C’mon Chloé! I wanna buy you something too” they were all dragged off to continue their shopping spree. So many clothes were brought, including the ones that the blondes had chosen, Rosina really loved them as well.

They all ended up getting some really cool shades as well, as well as the fact Chloé was able to spot a jacket that had the words ice queen written on the back. She so had to get one for her and Marinette to wear at school for kicks.

Rosina got everyone a bracelet with some colourful charms on. She got one for 3 others, but they weren’t there. They all beamed with glee as the girl was tackled with a hug by them all.

Marinette felt as if she could finally relax around them. They didn’t just hang out with her to try and make a plan for how to get her together with Adrien, they didn’t just hang out with her to just talk about her crush on Adrien, they actually all just wanted to hang out and enjoy each other’s company. Something she never got the chance to do before Lila came in… Not like she thought she’d be able to do, no doubt the topic would soon go towards Adrien eventually.

But she was able to take in the calm atmosphere around the group of 7.

She knew deep down in her heart that they would all soon be the best of friends.

***

The weekend had ended, and boy was a lot packed into that.

A lot.

Not only did everyone have tons of bags pack with new clothes and various items, but they also decided to dine out in Chloé’s hotel. Friends discount was applied here.

And amazingly Kagami was there along with her Mother. Rosina and Tomoe surprisingly had a conversation about fencing, Kagami was still apprehensive considering her Mother’s opinion about friends but it seemed to dissipate once Tomoe heard her Daughter laugh for the first time in a long time.

Tomoe also heard how fond Kagami was of Rosina after hearing about their fencing match, she wished to challenge Rosina to a match of her own to which Rosina happily agreed, much to everyone's surprise.

But they knew the girl could handle herself, 3 more so than the others but it was fine.

Also, remarkably, Rosina was able to convince Kagami and Tomoe to attend more get-togethers with the rest of the group. It might have something to do with Rosina speaking to her in Japanese and found Rosina to be a good influence.

So that’s how the group of 8 became 9.

The next day Rosina had finally started her contract with the Agreste’s. Rosina would start to be Adrien’s “bodyguard” at school, at fencing lessons as well as at photoshoots. On Sundays, she would be a language tutor for him as Saturdays would most likely be a day off, unplanned photoshoot or more piano lessons.

Adrien was ecstatic once this was all sorted. Finally, he wouldn’t be alone anymore, yeah, he wouldn’t be able to talk to Plagg as often, but as long as Plagg had his cheese he was sure he’d be alright. Besides, since Rosina was actually Crisono, he didn’t have to give a reason for his disappearances.

It did give him more of a reason why secret identities shouldn’t be so secret, but he knew he couldn’t reveal himself for his Lady and Master Fū.

The girls, however,

They were less than impressed with Rosina’s decision considering they told her they weren’t friends with Adrien anymore, but, it was Rosina’s choice and they couldn’t tell her not too.

Besides, it was who Rosina was. If she thought of Adrien as a friend, they couldn’t stop her, they may not like it but if they forced her to deny any interactions with him, they would be as bad as Lila.

So they had to learn to accept it and slowly, it didn’t faze them, sure they couldn’t hang out as much, but when you have a girl full of energy you find that they can and will spend as much time as possible with them.

So, when they arrived at school, they weren’t surprised to see Adrien hug Rosina.

“Thanks for agreeing Rosina” The latter nodded as they headed inside. Even if the blonde still hadn’t accepted it fully, the bluenette was there to help.

But then they heard something that made them both smirk.

“Alya are you alright, that new blog just skyrocketed up, it's halfway to the number of followers you have” Mylène seemed devastated but to that Alya waved her hand around, not the least bit interested.

“Oh please, that blog isn’t half as good as mine, where’s the pizazz? Its soo boring to look at I got tired after that first video.” Rose and Juleka didn’t look convinced.

“But her other videos are so much better. They even have that new hero no one knows about on it.” That perked the girl's interest.

“WHAT! How in the world did she get an interview with Crisono?” She soon watched that video and was furious to find Ladybug there as well.

“She’s even provided tips and other stuff with Akuma’s” Juleka joined in as Alya furiously search through the contents of the Let’sBugOut page. It somehow featured Ladybug in most of them, whether it was by video call or in person.

“So, she doesn’t accept interviews from me but from some amateur! How could she?” Alya didn’t know what she had done to receive the cold shoulder from Ladybug but she supposed that maybe she didn’t want her to be in any danger, that maybe if they stopped talking, Akuma’s wouldn’t be so interested to pick her as a target.

At least… That’s how Lila put it when she had come to the girl for help.

“Very easily, don’t you think? At least Aurore doesn’t pry about unnecessary details about Ladybug’s life. And she actually provides facts, something the LadyBlog is really missing.” Chloé retorted, returning to the desk at the back, everyone glaring at her she had become accustomed to it.

“Chloé how could you say that about Alya? Is this just because you aren’t Queen Bee anymore? And you're taking out your frustration on Alya. If you want, I could always ask Ladybug for advice on how you could improve and be a better person?” The girls swarmed around Lila appeared to be shocked while the other two were annoyed, how dare she sully Ladybug’s name!

“Girl there's no need to help someone like her, I know you're extremely kind, but you don’t need to extend it to the likes of her” Alya replied, that girl had a heart of gold.

“Are you sure, I wouldn’t want Chloé to become too upset at being rejected by Ladybug, I couldn’t imagine the shame she must be feeling now.” The duo was able to see that obvious jab made towards the blonde. How no one else could was a definite mystery?

Marinette paused, how Chloé decided to answer may decide on her future prospects of being a hero, what would she say?

“I wasn’t rejected by Ladybug, and how dare you lie about being friends with someone way out of your league.” The girls were quick to retort but Chloé paid them no mind.

“And I am still Queen Bee, in or out of costume. I don’t need it to define me. I’m more of a hero than you’ll ever be” She smirked at the last line before grabbing Rosina from Adrien, who was talking about schedules by the way, and promptly sitting down with Marinette. The blue-haired girl impressed by the blue-eyed girl's words. She didn’t spill the fact that technically she was still Queen Bee, just changed.

Chloé was learning.

She just wished the others would as well.

***

*Pont des Arts = A Pedestrian Bridge In Paris.

I hope you enjoy my new OC I put out. I just thought I wanted Luka to have more friends so here we go.

After making that outfit for Rosina I couldn’t stand it and knew I needed to change it, so I thought why not throw some Chloé sugar in there as I’m at it. Also, I think it’s reasonable for not everyone to believe or accept Chloé’s redemption since not everyone is so ready to forgive, right?

And with that, Rosina has kinda met all of the Marinette Protection Squad members (Minus Felix, he’s gonna be a special case)

1 more chapter till Piper, I really can’t wait for it, the next one will contain some unexpected salt towards a certain bluenette. Hope you’ll all enjoy it as much as me, I just think it’ll be great and clarify stuff.

Also, could someone help me with Rosina’s backstory? Or be willing to read and see if it's alright? Since she was found in a desert I was going to put her birthplace as Egypt, but with Franchezca travelling around she doesn’t really know anything about it, but later she learnt Arabic after her Aunt told her the story of how and where she was found.

Is that alright. I’m not offending anyone with that am I? do I need to change anything with that?

Sorry if it sounds stupid, I just want to make sure it's not insulting anyone.

Also, maybe some help with accents? Her first language was Spanish, but her favourite is Arabic, so what sort of accent would she have?

Anyway, I hope you liked this part can’t wait for the next it will be shorter, maybe haven’t planned it all out yet, but I hope that’s alright.

Note: Updated the pictures. Also, I keep updating Noemié’s design because of the artist in me, haha. hope you like hers.

[well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now]

Guess what Obey Me just dropped?

It starts with a ‘Lesson’, ends with a ‘41’ (and possibly a ‘42’)-

If you ever play it, pls answer this-

(Also, screenshots of the boys (mainly Satan's) clothes pls?)

-Lesson 35 Anon

Hey! Sorry this took longer than normal, I didn’t have my phone for a couple of days cause the its charging port? Area? Spot? I dunno - the place where you plug in the charger, was broken.

SPOILERS FOR LESSON 41 - 42

Right so lesson 41 starts off in a park (cause I’m almost 80% sure MC’s homeless, I mean they keep disappearing for months with no warning??? Is anyone paying their bills? Their rent?) where they meet Solomon. He asks them how they’re doing, they can either say good or just ask him how he’s doing.  He mentions about how he wanted to meet at this café but they were closed for remodeling (is2g this will be important later.  He asks them if they’ve been the homework he gave them that is harder than what they did at RAD but still just the basics which they will need if they want to work themself up to being able to perform summoning spells. MC says they’re dying to see everyone from the devildom and Solomon says he was worried they would be depressed cause it’s such a difference getting used to the quieter human world and that’s why he recommended the babysitting job to them. He asks whether they are ready to head to the interview and if they are nervous (why? They spent at least 2 years babysitting 7 all powerful ancient entities, this should be a breeze, akdhudsbkhs so I’m typing this out while replaying the game for the second time just to pick the options I didn’t before and Solomon just said the same thing I did about the brothers) Solomon then starts acting a little shifty, tries to tell something to MC but keeps quiet and send them off. MC pulls up at this huge ass house (Serenity Manor) which actually looks bigger than the HoL. Then ring the bell and the door is opened by Asmo and bro his clothes are cute af im dying, MC immediately shuts the door in his face without even saying a word jwdbkidjojS, they silently open the door again to see Levi, Asmo and Satan arguing. Levi’s clothes are also pretty cute, I like them better than his usual outfit, Satan’s should be burned to a crisp. Have you watched two and a half men? They show it here on repeat, and have you seen those ugly ass polo shirts Charlie wears? Satan’s shirt is a dress shirt version of those and I hate it. The cream coloured suit jacket is NOT a jacket but instead a long cream coloured coat it makes me want to throw up in my mouth. The fact that everyone else has clothes that look pretty good and that only Satan has this abomination just makes it that Satan has a horrible sense of fashion. MC immediately shuts the door again without saying a word only to come face to face with Beel and Belphie behind them who have just come back from shopping. Beel has a tattoo??? Like in his human form? He didn’t have one before? Belphie looks more or less the same, his outfit looks only slightly different from normal. They more or less drag MC inside even though MC’s brain is still breaking. All 5 of them then start arguing (about who’s late and Beel trying to eat everything in the shops etc) and it ends up freaking MC out so much they command the brothers to stay. Levi’s apparently being waiting around near the door all morning waiting for MC to turn up.

Satan complains about MC’s command being painful and MC can either apologize for it or say it’s their fault for startling them. Either way he says the surprise wasn’t his fault and it was all Asmo and Mammon’s plan. Asmo says ‘sowwy’ if he wasn’t so cute I’d be pissed. Asmo reveals that they’ll be spending their break up in the human world. Levi says they’ve never spent a long time in the human world and were hoping MC could show them around. Apparently Asmo convinced Solomon to lie to MC for them even though he didn’t want to, (when Solomon later texts MC to apologize for lying he says that Asmo asks him to do a lot of things that are troublesome but that he can’t seem to say no to him). Asmo says that even though he’s the one who initially brought up the idea it was Mammon who went all out on it. MC then asks how Mammon’s doing and Levi says “He’s good but actually not” just to be interrupted by someone asking for help from another room. MC walks into the Mammon hanging upside down cussing at Lucifer for hanging upside down from the chandelier cause ya sure he may have gambled away all their money immediately after coming here but at least he managed to save the house and how he doesn’t want ‘the human’ to see him like this. MC can either say ‘long time no see’ or ‘who the fuck are you calling ‘the human’. He freaks out either way & tells them not to listen in on his private conversations with himself. He welcomes them to the interview for the babysitting gig and they tell him he sure is big for a baby, tells them he’s the one hiring (the babies are his six idiot brothers) he tells them he needs to ask them a question to see if they are still sharp after being in the human world and asks what they would do if Lucifer hid his ‘adorable, sweet little brother’s credit card’ . they can either tell him where the card is or ask who this adorable, younger brother is. The first will make him happy the second will make him grumble about being the one asking questions. He tells them to cut him down and they’ll finish the rest of the interview. They command him to stay and cut him down, he complains about how it hurt to land on his back and if they couldn’t find another way to get him down, they tell him they missed him and that they were so happy to see him again and hug him. He blushes and grumbles about them hugging him out of nowhere, calls them a ‘big dummy’, says he feels the same way, swears, and then says he missed them, really missed them. I love the banter????? And that he somewhat constantly calls them dummy and this chapter just ends on his smiling blushing face. I also really like his outfit? That slight slip showing his shoulder? The fact that he has no sunglasses means that his blush is really noticeable???? All good.

Asmo takes MC on a tour of the house and takes them to a bathroom that’s an identical replica of his private bathroom in the devildom. He reveals that Barbatos opened portals between the devildom and this house so that they’ll be able to access certain rooms from the HoL, including their bedrooms and favourite rooms (I kinda like the HoL better cause it was colourful and had character? The Manor kinda looks like a blank white pristine slate which I guess makes sense but still). Also Asmo had asked Barbatos to make a portal to a club but he refused :/. Asmo says that barbatos and diavolo said they would visit. MC gets to ask about either Simeon and Luke (Asmo hasn’t heard from them), Diavolo (he’s seemed a little sad after MC left) and Barbatos (he’s the same as always). Asmo says that he’s missed MC a lot and asked if there’s something they should do to him. MC can either kiss him, kiss his nose or shake his hand (*SNORT*) and I’m forever bitter about the lack of a hug option if MC kisses his nose he calls them a tease and look I could not try the shake hand option because it’s hilarious given the context of the storyline (he says he’s gonna combust from frustration). Satan cockblocks Asmo (and admits to doing so) and steals MC away to show them a ridiculously large home theatre. While boasting about their high-tech theatre that could easily fit a 100 people Satan accidentally reveals that they’ve been in the human world for at least a week, MC is predictably pretty upset by that and Satan says that Asmo & Mammon were insistent about finding a perfect way to surprise MC. Realizing MC’s now going through kinda a depressed downward spiral Satan tries to offer reserving the room just for the two of them to watch whatever MC wants to, and when that doesn’t work asks them what he can do to make them feel better. They can ask him to either kiss them or meow. He blushes and complains but still does and makes them swear not to tell anyone and then tells them he got some movies he thought they’d like and asks what they are currently in to. If they say cat documentaries he’s surprised that those exist and blushes and says he needs to watch them with MC immediately only for Levi to cockblock him by saying there’s an emergency in the kitchen and he’s needed. It’s heavily implied that after Satan leaves that the emergency is greatly exaggerated. Levi then goes silent for while blushing and stutters before asking if MC wanted to go see what the outside looks like. Me, chanting under my breath: poolpoolpoolpoolpoolpool-

THERE’S A POOL JHVDHDBSJKDHJ IM SO HAPPY????? I haven’t seen a pool in so long that even a little game pool had me hyped :’)))) Levi says that Asmo insisted they have a pool and then the others started making demands too but all levi wanted was his games and henry. He also gets sweetly happy when MC asks to see Henry cause no one ever asks to see Henry. He also reveals that Henry has gotten slightly bigger (Me, side eyeing Henry 1.0: huh). Levi suggests gaming together till dinner is ready cause nothing beats the real thing despite the fact that they’ve been gaming online since MC left. Levi says he has always had when he’s with MC and how even though they aren’t currently playing yet he is enjoying himself. MC can either reply by saying they love him (which leads into a kiss) or cooing with what is a soft look on their face cause it makes levi blush and makes him ask them to stop looking at him like that. He gets cockblocked by Belphie who says Levi has a job to do and should get to it. While continuing the tour with Belphie, he asks them what they think of his outfit and whether he looks human (remember when Belphie wanted to wipe out the human race? A need he probably cultivated for thousands of years? And now he’s just cool with everything cause his heart got a boner for the random ass human he murdered?) MC hears some of the brothers arguing through a door that probably leads to the kitchen from the sound of it and belphie asks them not to listen in.  He takes them to their Devildom bedroom, says they thought about giving MC a bigger room but figured they wouldn’t like it. Belphie says that he really likes MC’s room and that even after they left he would come to nap in it though it wasn’t that peaceful cause the rest of his brothers would always be in the room too (I’m not crying!). Belphie rests his head on MC’s lap while they stroke either his hair or cheek. If they stroke his hair he says that they’ll put him to sleep but to continue. MC can either agree, pinch his cheek or tickle him. He says something about how he missed this and how it’s better than napping alone in their bed. They ask him where he went earlier with beel, he says they went out shopping and that they saw an ice cream truck and if the music playing meant that eating the ice cream made you start playing music out of your mouth and says he’d want to get ice cream with MC. MC falls asleep and wakes up to Beel carrying them. He says belphie was still asleep and he tried waking them up but it didn’t work and he notices that MC has lost weight and starts worrying about them not eating properly (I really love that it’s a continued theme that MC loses weight each time they leave? I mean without the constant parties and the big meals it makes sense plus with the continued theme that they start moping around when they are alone and that going from living with 7 others where meals are a joint and structured event to living presumably alone it makes sense that they would forget meals and ahh I just love it). Beel points out where they have lost weight by tickling them and MC retaliates after blushing and laughing and asking MC to stop, MC asks where they are going (all this happens while he’s still carrying them and he only lets them down when they get to his room and I just love that they’re both so chill and comfortable with each other) and he tells he needs to take them somewhere but first he need to get party crackers from his room. While he searches for them MC can either look under the bed (it’s full of snacks) or flop on his bed (Beel tucks them in). When Beel finally finds the crackers him and MC end up nose to nose and MC can either ask to kiss him or do that awkward ‘haha did you find what you were looking for’ thing, he’s silent then says he did, then blushes and says he spaced out for a bit and how he suddenly just realized that MC was really in front of him again and how happy he was (reminds me of when he was reunited with Belphie). Beel gets a text from Lucifer saying he has come back and asking Beel to bring MC.  

AND HOLY SHIT LUCIFER!????? Any attraction I had towards him instantly died and it’s not that he looks bad???? He just looks like a DAD/MOM. The turtleneck, the necklace, the glasses, the slacks just all of it? I can’t handle that. Also the brothers are having a reunion party in the balcony (which looks like it’s from The Bachelor which…yeah close enough). Mammon says that he’d wanted to see Mc as soon as they arrived and how awful it was that they couldn’t (whose fault was that) and that he felt like a dog whose owner was holding a treat away from him (each they’re separated and reunited Mammon comes back being more emotionally honest, man’s probably gonna propose after the third separation at this rate. Can he even be classified as a tsundere anymore? The others talk to MC about who did what to organize the party. Lucifer toasts to their reunion (and I realized that these idiots, MC included, have taken a 10 year old to a club a bunch of times). Lucifer notes how MC hasn’t been eating much and they say either they’re still in shock or that they have eaten (Lucifer gives Mc food that he made and that he’s proud of). He tells them that if they are feeling tired they can slip away, MC can either say they’ll stay here and have fun with the others – Lucifer is disappointed but understanding that MC would want to spend time with the others and Mammon ends up calling Mc over to get wasted – or MC can agree to leave with him – he ends up taking them to his room and immediately hugging them. While blushing he tells them that he missed them and had wanted to hug them the moment he saw them and had to fight himself to resist doing so in front of the others (At this point MC’s gonna return a third time to Lucifer already in a wedding dress saying his vows). MC can say they feel the same and he says that he knows and asks to kiss them or they can tease him about being sad when they were away and he just agrees. He says he’s been planning this since they asked the brothers for their favourite things but that it was hard to find a place to stay and he apologizes for the time it took and asks them to sleep in his bed for the night.

Lesson 41 ends and I still haven’t got a screenshot of mammon’s outfit cause the man was in our face for the entire lesson and refused to back away.

Lesson 42 starts with them having breakfast (on pristine white couches!??? My soul curled up and died on the spot) and praising human food. Satan complains about the sun and Levi cries about being able to watch anime right as they release now (also he has his longest anime title to date – it takes almost three speech boxes) Lucifer decides it’s time to set up ground rules and shifts for chores. Each brother suggests a game they are good at with the winner being allowed to choose the chores they wanted to do first, in the end they settle on playing rock paper scissors. Rock paper scissors ends up with Levi summoning Lotan, Beel summoning some legendary rock creature and Mammon almost dying (it reminds me a lot of the rock paper scissors my brother and I would play where instead of accepting the initial loss we would keep on calling out things that could counteract what the last person chose until someone ran out of ideas). Beel and MC end going to get groceries from one of those big open air markets (I have literally no idea what you call those in English). Beel says that the previous day the food looked so good that it was really hard to not eat everything and asked MC to stop him if he tried it today – they can either cover his mouth, cover his eyes or hold his hand. In the market Beel buys 5 chickens from the butcher who recognizes them from the previous day. He asks if they are celebrating anything and Beel – sweet innocent Beel who canonically doesn’t know what a threesome is says they are celebrating their first night living together and obviously the butcher takes it as ‘oh a sweet couple living together’ and not 7 children and their impromptu babysitter/therapist/family counselor/marriage counselor. The butcher gives them (really sound tbh) relationship advice (respect each other, take interest in each other but let each other have space to do their own thing). Later Beel’s like ‘holy shit human world butchers are amazing! Not only do they give you food but they also give you advice! Do you think we do all three of those things’ and MC’s like yeh. Okay but look, MC’s gonna have to go shopping with each of the others at some point and they’re all gonna act like couples in love and then the brothers will at some point end up going shopping with each other and yeah they’re gonna argue but it’s still gonna be obvious that they love and care about each other, at some point it’s gonna be obvious that they all live with each other, the butcher already noticed that belphie and beel stood out, he’s gonna notice that the others are weird af too, he’s gonna notice the less inconspicuous names like satan and lucifer. This poor man. Beel and MC run into Mammon and Satan who have abandoned lucifer and fled the house after Solomon came looking for MC and then offered to cook lunch while waiting for MC. They go get pizza from a place where one of satan’s tv shows were filmed (he geeks out in a very levi like fashion) and tells them that they should order ‘the usual’ because that’s what they do in his show and mc says yeah that’s not how it works. Beel’s already ordered and eaten a bunch of pizza and Mammon notes that they are freaking out the waitress. Satan decides to ask how MC’s apprenticeship is going and they talk about magic and Solomon for a bit. MC wonders if Lucifer is okay (he is not. He has been increasingly spamming the group chat asking the others where the fuck they are, who the fuck left him alone with Solomon and lunch and just you fucking wait till you get home I’ll make you suffer. The rest of the group remains silent.) Satan later decides to go visit a bookshop and Beel and Mammon go to a bakery to pick up ‘a dessert that’s to die for’ from a bakery for Asmo. If MC goes with Beel and Mammon – Mammon forgets the name of the dessert but tells MC what he remembers of it and Beel who has taken ‘a dessert to die for’ way too literally. Mammon has to keep telling him that ‘yeah no that’s not what that means’ multiple times. It’s a cute interaction that I really liked. Mammon lets beel buy whatever he wants from the bakery using Asmo’s credit card so now if Mammon fails to turn up for the rest of the season we know why rip. If MC goes with Satan he geeks out about a bunch of rare books and they end up getting lost in the bookstore and can either decide to stick together and find way out or race to find away out. The four meet up in front of the house and note a sense of foreboding coming from it and only remember they left Solomon in the house when they enter and come face to face with him. He tries to get them to have tea and sandwiches with them but they all make excuses about just having lunch (Beel struggles to say the words ‘I’m full’). But lucifer turns up with a sweet smile and says how Solomon had made him lunch and how it was so delicious he had asked Solomon to make tea and sandwiches for the others. I love how these demons all just accept this horrid food and that even though they make excuses they don’t complain to solomon’s face or outright refuse to eat it cause it’ll be rude and hurt his feelings???? Beel, Mammon and Satan suffer while Solomon talks about Mc getting a sorcerer’s (they’ll get a training one and not the actual thing) so that they aren’t limited to having to do spells only with Solomon. MC of course doesn’t really hear any of this cause they’re currently dying. That’s not even a joke – they start seeing spots and stars, they can’t hear what the others are saying, their life flashes before their eyes and they pass out.

MC wakes up in their room at night (the rooms are now light and dark depending on the time of day) and walks out of the room into the demon lord’s castle where they run into lil D no. 2 (who freaks out cause he mistakes MC for ghost and I just love our little demon son so much) who calls barbatos who says they have tea with diavolo. MC can tell barbatos it’s nice to see him again or say it’ll be nice to see diavolo (Barbatos only gets happy when you pick the second option and asks MC to tell diavolo that when they see him cause he’s). Barbatos talks about how it would be nice to visit the human world and that there’s so much he wants to learn from it in regards to cooking, Mc invites him over and offers to show him around. During tea diavolo mopes about having to stay in the devildom even though it’s technically his break too and how barbatos won’t let him come to the human world until he finishes his work but how he doesn’t seem to be able to make a dent in the work even with lucifer helping him as much as he can from the devildom (Chats show diavolo crying to lucifer about his work until lucifer gives him and offers to do what he can. Barbatos calls lucifer out on coddling diavolo). Diavolo says that without the others around he’s even more distracted (which is understandable? I’m less motivated to work when ik that my friends are free and having fun). Lucifer eventually texts diavolo to tell him to stop kidnapping their human and to pls send them back my brothers are about to burn down the kitchen. Levi, Satan and Beel have being trying to figure out human appliances in the kitchen cause even though they have tech in the devildom it’s not as advanced (I really loved the cauldron aesthetic of their devildom kitchen this one’s just white walls and steel). Satan’s insistent that the ice cream maker is to heat up soup. At some point it’s revealed that Beel eats the actual pot part of a hotpot as well. During dinner Asmo asks MC to come with him the next day to visit a café that’s been remodeled called Angel’s Halo

There are 2 locked chapters, presumably one is satan and mammon escaping from Solomon, no idea what the other is.

Sorry this took so long 35, I hope you see this!  Since this is already so long I’ll make a separate post for the screenshots

[insfiringyou]

BTS - Past Lives (V x Cassandra)

Contains: Discussions around pregnancy. Angst. Mentions of the past/confessions of love.

Set 2 days following the events of ‘Reaching Seoul’, Taehyung and Cassandra meet on neutral ground in a cafe. 

We wanted to show some moments between the members and their girlfriends that may not seem grand or important in the long run, but that highlight some of the conversations they might have in private. We also don’t want to shy away from some of the arguments, disagreements or bickering that might take place. 

You can find out more about our headcanon universe and ongoing storyline here and more about our headcanon girlfriends here.

To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM   /   Jin /   Suga /   J-Hope   /   Jimin  /   V   /   Jungkook & our full masterlist of fics and art can be found here

Content below the cut

He was glad to find the cafe almost deserted and that Cassandra had chosen a quiet corner to sit in. Being recognised at the service station two days before had thrown him after spending so long out of the public eye, and he had been careful getting here; taking only back-streets and donning casual clothes which were sure to make him blend in. He had considered, back in the hotel, on wearing a hat, but thought if anything it would make his features stand out more. 

The round table obscured the swell beneath her oversized jumper, and for a split second he almost forgot that anything had changed between them until she carefully rose from her seat as he joined her, shattering the illusion. He was unable to help his lingering gaze as she straightened up; her stomach straining heavily against the fabric. 

“Thanks for coming.” She said, keeping her voice low to avoid attracting any unnecessary attention. “I’ll get the drinks. Tea or coffee?”

He was silent for a moment, ashamed by his relief at her offer and realising that, like him, she was worried about him being spotted. “Tea.” He looked at her, hoping she would understand how grateful he was. She nodded politely before heading towards the counter on the other side of the room, disappearing from view. He knitted his thumbs together anxiously on the table, looking down when a young woman passed him on the way to the restroom. The rattling sound of unsteady porcelain brought his attention back, and he intuitively got to his feet as Cassandra turned the corner, precariously holding the tray of drinks. 

“Careful…” He murmured, taking it from her and setting it down gently on the table. Reaching forward, she took a sip of water from her glass and lowered herself on the chair opposite, watching him, observing. 

“You look better.” She finally said as he poured the steaming liquid from the teapot into his cup. He looked up at the sound of her voice. “Rested, I mean.” She clarified.

Taehyung sensed she was relieved, remembering how worked up and dry-eyed he had been when he saw her two days before. He had looked at himself in the bathroom mirror when he checked into the hotel and thought it was no surprise she had looked so shocked at his appearance. 

“I slept for the best part of a day.” He confirmed, blowing gently against the rim of the little porcelain cup. 

“You clearly needed it.” Her smile told him that she too was finding it hard to approach the subject they had both come here to discuss. Her initial suggestion of the cafe had seemed impersonal on the phone and he had almost protested, but he realised now why she had wanted to meet in public. Their conversation was undoubtedly more stilted than it would have been had they been alone in her apartment, but maybe that was what was needed. 

“I’m glad you called.” He admitted, taking a small sip to inadvertently avoid her gaze. He suddenly felt small and awkward, as though she would be able to see the undercurrent of his bubbling nerves.

“I know we don’t have long…I’m sorry.” She said softly, moving her chair aside to make room as the young woman came out of the restroom, casting no more than an uninterested glance at the both of them. The time he had booked off was already coming to an end, and he wished, more than anything, that he had trusted his instincts and bargained for a longer vacation. 

“It’s not…” He started, frowning as he tried to find the right words. He put the cup down and held his palm flat against the table, as though to keep his nerves in check. “I don’t want to upset you.”

“I know…” She admitted, her voice a whisper. 

“I want to do what’s right.” He confessed, realising as he said it that he had come to this conclusion the day before, knowing it was no use to argue with her, and that it would only make things worse. “But I’m not even sure what that means anymore...what it involves.” His voice trembled, and before he could think about how to cover it up, her hand slipped through his, holding it gently across the table. 

“Do you remember, when you first told me you loved me?” She asked. Her voice was melodic and kind but, he realised, without the nostalgia he would have expected. Taking a deep breath, he looked up, locking eyes. “You said you knew when you first saw me that we belonged together...that we were soulmates.” 

He felt a sour stab in his chest at the recollection, understanding that while the memory was a good one, it sounded strange hearing someone else say it. He remembered the way her bare skin smelt of incense and jasmine as he traced a pattern of moles on her shoulder; the comforting weight of her in his lap as he stroked her dark hair. She had been preoccupied with a stray strand of cotton which had come loose from the sofa, plucking at it with her fingers as he spoke, a gentle smile playing on both their lips as he trailed his fingertips from her body to the gentle slope of her nose, stroking it lovingly. He had always found her nose beautiful; more angular and pronounced than he was used to seeing. The words had spilled from his lips; his unselfconscious confession of love bearing no burden on him. She hadn’t answered at first, and he didn’t expect her to. He just needed her to know how he felt. 

“And when we spoke…” She continued. “It was as though you already knew me...like we’d known one another in a past life, and you wondered whether you’d made a mistake the first time, and were given a second chance to make things right.” 

“Cass..” He whispered, shifting on his seat. She made him sound so young, and yet he knew he had spoken those very words. Like the perfect actress; she had memorised them without realising; not knowing she would ever need to repeat his sentiment years later. Subconsciously, his eyes flickered to the place where the table blocked his view of her stomach. His monologue suddenly seemed childish.

“Let me finish.” She uttered gently. “I know you thought I wasn’t listening, and that what you were saying was just some…” Her lips twisted in thought, as though trying to translate the words in her head. “Post-coital daydream.” She shrugged, knowing it wasn’t exactly the right phrase, but would have to do. She ignored the slight flinch he gave, expecting it, and continued calmly. “But I think we both know that with this, we don’t get a second chance to make things right if we fuck up.” 

He fought the urge to explain or justify himself; knowing, frustratingly, that she was right. Instead, he sighed slowly. “Then let me help you. Let me be a part of this.” He squeezed her hand, allowing her to fall quiet. 

“You’ve still got a year left in service.” She said, pulling away slowly. He realised she wasn’t trying to pick fault with his words, but was simply stating a fact. 

“They’ll let me take the time off to be with you when it happens.” He said, not knowing if it was true. He would have to cross that bridge when the time came. 

She shook her head slowly. “If you do that, it’ll get out...your career will be over.”

“Let me worry about that.” He murmured, realising as he said it that it was a real possibility. 

Although they both knew the matter wasn’t settled, they fell silent, taking the opportunity to finish their drinks. He watched her place the empty glass on the tray, her movement distracting him from the wet streak which ran down her cheek. 

“I’m scared…” She admitted, the whimper in her voice drawing his attention to her face. His chest sank. 

“Me too.” He confessed quietly. 

She stifled a sob, trying to keep steady. “I feel like I’ve gone out to swim and the tide’s come in early…” He watched her reach for the napkin which had been placed under the water on the tray, and bunch it tightly between her fingers, twisting it absently with both hands as she spoke. “There’s no rule book or script telling me what I should do.” He didn’t think he had ever seen her so vulnerable but felt the echo of her words in his own chest. “I’m still wondering if I made the right choice.” She looked up at him with wet, brown eyes and his stomach churned at the memory of his accusation, two days before. Gently, he changed the topic. 

“Who’s been paying your rent? Ji-eun?” 

She nodded slowly, almost shamefully, and it made him ache unpleasantly that she should feel the need to be embarrassed by asking for help. 

“And you haven’t told your parents?” He continued. 

“I meant to.” She said weakly. “I just keep imagining their reaction...knowing they told me I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself.” More tears fell, though her voice had steadied, and he felt the humiliation in her words. It occurred to him, for the first time in such stark terms, that he too would have to tell his family, and the prospect suddenly seemed harder than the thought of giving up his career had been. He tried not to let on as she finished, wiping her eyes messily with the torn-up napkin. “It feels like a slap in the face.”

He let out a long breath of air. “It’s my fault too. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.” 

Her small hand was resting by the empty teapot, and he took it in his, meeting her small, timid smile as she gulped back the tears with a snort. 

“Look at us…” She laughed softly. “I always thought I was so grown up. That I was living the life I’d dreamed of as a child.” Shaking her head, she smiled nervously. “But now we both look like scared children.”

He knew she was right; it was though she could see right through him. But, suddenly, there was a strange comfort in knowing she felt the same; that whatever challenges they faced ahead would be navigated with a shared caution. “You’re the strongest person I know Cass.” Taehyung admitted without a pause for doubt, and he hoped that in her silence, she would be able to see it too. As they turned to watch the quiet lull of the street outside, he wondered if everyone felt this way; if anyone could truly be prepared for their life turning upside down so suddenly.

***

Thank you for reading. To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM   /   Jin /   Suga  /   J-Hope   /   Jimin   /   V   /   Jungkook

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[svudrabbles]

How about one where Olivia gets jealous when another mom (one of Noah’s friends) flirts with fem!reader at one of Noah’s games (you pick the sport) especially when Olivia has been working really hard on a case, so she has been missing out on spending time with them. Angst + fluff at end pls I hope this makes sense because it sounds better in my head. Anyways, love your writing! You are really good!

Thank you so much!! This is a really great prompt, sounds great on paper too lmao. I chose dance because that’s what we saw most recently on the show...and also it made a neat storyline in the fic. Hope you enjoy!

Noah’s mid season performance review at the dance academy was today. You had informed Olivia of this last week, and she had promised both you and Noah she would be there. You hated to say it, but you weren’t sure if she’d show. She’d been at work constantly since the beginning of the month working this new case, and while you understood the importance of her job, sometimes it felt like she shoved the two of you to the side.

On the way to the academy, Noah had seen upset in the back seat, so of course you inquired as to why.

He said, “I don’t think mommy is gonna show up...”

Your eyebrows furrowed in sadness , and you sighed. “Noah, she just texted me that she’s leaving work in ten minutes. She’ll be here.”

He sighed, looking out of the window, and didn’t respond.

Yeah. You didn’t exactly believe your words either. But you could hope.

When you arrived, there were parents lined up against the massive wall to wall mirrors. Olivia wasn’t here yet. You took your seat at the end of the line, although Noah hadnt left your side.

“Mama,” he pouted, “where’s mommy?”

“She’ll ve here, love.” You hugged him tightly. “Go see your friends, okay? I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

All of a sudden, a woman and a little girl entered the room. She gasped at the sight of Noah and ran toward the two of you. “Noah! Look! My mommy got me a new leotard. Wanna see?”

Noah turned his head toward his friend, and almost as if he forgot entirely about his nervousness, he grinned. “Hi, Lilliah! Yeah!”

The girl named Lilliah took him by the hand and dragged him over to the cubbies where she practically ripped off her coat and began modeling her new sparkly leotard.

You felt someone take a seat next to you, so you turned your head and almost gasped at the sight.

“Y/N?” Grace laughed in surprise.

Grace was...an old friend of sorts. You were a dancer growing up, and had made it into a company by the time you were eighteen. Grace and you had made this accomplishment together, but once you left the company, you’d completely lost touch.

“Grace!” You smiled happily, bringing the woman into a huge hug.

“My God it’s been so long.” She squeezed you tightly. “Where have you been?”

You pulled away, your eyes searching her person. Her thick blond curly hair was swept into a messy bun, her sparkling blue eyes were alive with excitement as they usually were. Her white teeth broad in a grin. As much as you were friends, Grace was also your ex girlfriend.

“Ah, around.” You shrugged. “I actually teach dance at another studio.”

“Very nice. I always expected that from you.” She chuckled, squeezing your thigh.

You looked down at the sudden touch with raised eyebrows.

“I guess my daughter is friends with your son.” She mentioned, motioning toward the two little kids who were running around together giggling.

You smiled. “I guess so.”

“Makes sense. We were always good friends.” She winked.

You blushed. “Yeah. We were huh?”

“I met Lilliah’s dad not soon after you dropped out of the company. He was sort of a cope, I think. We became...acquaintances with benefits.” She shrugged. “I got pregnant with her, he skipped out.”

You frowned. “I’m sorry, Grace.”

“It’s okay.” She chuckled. “Lily is the best thing in the world. Im glad it happened. But I do wish you’d been around.”

You sighed. “I’m sorry, I just...when I left, I didn’t want any reminders of why I had to go.”

“I know.” She nodded, her hand on your thigh ran inwardly. “I don’t blame you. I’m just glad fate brought us together again.”

You cleared your throat, pushing her hand away. You looked toward the door, and Olivia was standing there, staring at you, hurt in her eyes.

Fuck.

“That’s my wife, actually.” You mentioned to Grace. “My sons other mother.”

The blond raised her brows. “Oh...”

You stood, going over to Liv, and making a point of hugging her tightly. She hugged you back.

“I’m glad you’re here.” You mumbled.

“Who is she?” Olivia questioned. “I don’t like the way she was touching you.”

You sighed. “I’ll tell you later.”

Suddenly you had a small child crash into the both of you. It was Noah. “Mommy!” He grinned wildly. “You really came.”

“I really did.” Olivia grinned down at her boy, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “I’m so excited to watch you.”

Almost immediately after she said that, Noah’s dance teacher called out for the kids to take their places, as well as the parents.

***

After watching the performance, Grace had slipped you her number in your back pocket when you weren’t paying attention. She sent you a wink before saying, “If you ever wanna grt coffee anyway.”

Olivia had took note of this, and was upset all over again.

The three of you went out for dinner and ice cream, and then went home. Olivia helped Noah with his bath, and then put him to bed. You were in your room that the two of you shared, cuddled into your side of the bed with a glass of red wine, in one of Olivia’s NYPD t shirts that swallowed you whole.

Olivia came into the room, and eyed you. “We need to talk.”

You blinked, placing your glass on the night table. “Okay.”

“Who was thet woman?” She questioned, shutting the door behind her. “She seemed like she knew you. She could hardly keep her hands off of you.”

You sighed. “Grace is her name. We knew each other at the company, before I left.”

“Knew each other?” She questioned, rummaging theough her drawers for pajamas.

“Shes my ex.” You said softly.

Olivia scoffed. “Of course.”

“Excuse me?” You raised a brow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You were completely content with letting her practically finger you in a room full of kids.” Olivia stated nastily. She began undressing, changing into her pajamas.

“What the fuck?” You scoffed. “I shoved her away. You know that.”

“When I got there. How do I know how long it went on before?” Olivia spun on her heels, staring at you.

“Maybe you would have known if you were there!” You exclaimed. “You’re never here. You’re never around to touch me like that, you’re never around to watch Noah. It’s just the two of us all of the time.”

“Y/N, you know how important my work is...”

“And we arent!?” You asked, full of emotion. “Liv, all i want at the end of every day is to cuddle with you, kiss you. Make love to you. But I don’t get to do that. I don’t get to tell you how hard my day was, I don’t get to lean on you, and I live with that because I love you and I know how much your job means to you. But we have to mean something to you too, and it feels like we don’t.”

Olivia’s face became forlorn. She sighed, rubbing a hand through her hair.

You rolled your eyes, turning over on your side so you faced the wall. “Whatever, though. None of that matters. Keep practically pissing yourself all because one woman, who I haven’t spoken to, who I don’t love, touched me the way you should be.”

Olivia was silent, but she walked over to the bed, crawled under the covers, and pressed her body against yours. You melted into her warm touch. She curled around you as your big spoon, her leg going between your two legs, her arm wrapped tightly around your waist. With her other hand, she brushed away your hair, and pressed kissed to the nape of your neck. “I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been around. It’s not fair to you or to Noah...”

Your eyes filled with tears now.

“I love you, Y/N. I’m sorry i got mad, it’s just...when I saw her like that, with you...I hated myself. I should’ve been with you, holding you. She didn’t know you were married because I wasn’t there to let everyone know you’re mine.”

You sighed as she kissed your neck, softly sucking on the skin. “You’re my one and only love, Olivia. I’m proud of you for what you do, I love that you protect the unprotected. I just need you to be with us more than you have been.”

“I will be. I promise. I’ll be here more than I have been.” She mumbled, squeezing you tight. “I love you so much, my love.”

“I love you too.” You turned over, wrapping your leg around Liv’s waist, pulling your body flush against hers. Her hand slipped under your shirt, caressing your back, your side, your tummy.

“I’ll make it up to you tonight, if you let me?” Olivia said softly.

You smiled. “I’d love that.”

[pluckyredhead]

Daredevil 101: What Happened to Milla, Part 1

For the past while in Daredevil 101, Matt has been somewhat rockily married to a woman named Milla Donovan. Sharp-eyed readers may have noticed that Matt is no longer married in comics continuity. What happened?

*sigh* “To the Devil, His Due” and “Without Fear” happened, aka Daredevil v2 95-105 by Ed Brubaker and Michael Lark. Aka an absolutely interminable parade of pointless cruelty riddled with dangling plot threads and misogyny. Yes, the team that gave us the masterful “Devil in Cell Block D” has now gone off the rails so hard that Amtrak is still working on the repairs. (Sadly, their run never improves, so strap in, I guess.)

Now, Milla is not exactly my favorite character, but very few things in DD history make me madder than the way she was written off. It’s so clear that Brubaker wanted to fridge her but realized he couldn’t get away with a fifth dead Daredevil love interest, so he figured out a different “fate worse than death” (hoo boy we’ll have to unpack that in Part 2). No price is too high for a woman to pay if it means Matt Murdock suffers, amirite?

And with that tempting introduction (?), let’s get into it!

Content Warnings: Ableism, sexual assault and implied threats of sexual violence.

We begin with Melvin, who is in jail thanks to having attacked Matt back when he was blackmailed into doing so. Specifically, we begin with Melvin in a room with a bunch of dead bodies he swears up and down he isn’t responsible for.

Matt and Foggy and most especially Becky Blake believe him and take his case, but just a few days later it happens again - Melvin is found surrounded by dead bodies and claiming to have no memory of what happened but that he didn’t do it. The psych eval doesn’t go well, in that, well, he passes:

According to the doctor, this isn’t Melvin being taken over by his Gladiator personality or an actual second person stepping in - this is just Melvin himself killing people. Which for Melvin’s legal team (and friends) is the worst possible option, of course.

Meanwhile, Milla appears to have taken up therapy:

Aside from what this story does to Milla and Melvin, part of what makes it so bad is the structure. This was partially due to a couple of company-wide crossovers that we’ll see marching through the book in a little bit, but also just lots of things being set up and then dropped without going anywhere. Here we see Milla in therapy, which is never returned to or discussed. The sinister way this is framed makes it clear that the person she’s speaking to is the villain of the piece, but the fact that he met Milla at therapy is never revealed or mentioned at all. Later in the scene he says something about how he hasn’t told his wife that he’s in therapy but he should stop underestimating her, which is clearly meant to get under Milla’s skin in regards to her relationship with Matt, but that kind of subtle manipulation is too interesting for this story and leads absolutely nowhere. And of course we don’t get to actually see Milla talking to her therapist, which would require her to have an interior life.

Which means we have an entire scene that could have been replaced with a single panel of Milla bumping into someone on the street that would have had exactly the same effect on the plot. And the pacing problems only get worse from here, folks!

Anyway. The state decides to move Melvin, but he escapes his prison transport - and attacks Matt, who’s been keeping an ear on things:

Melvin kicks the crap out of Matt and escapes, but Matt realizes that there’s something wrong with Melvin - it may not be the Gladiator taking over, but this isn’t his friend, either.

The next day, Nelson and Murdock receive a surprise guest: Lily Lucca, who you may remember as she of the Karen-smelling perfume who aided and abetted in multiple murders and lured Matt into a confrontation with Vanessa Fisk:

As you’ll recall, the perfume Vanessa gave Lily to entrap Matt with makes her smell like every man’s fondest memory [INSERT GIANT EYEROLL HERE], which is why Foggy’s falling all over himself here. But now she has a problem: even though she’s not using the perfume anymore, she still smells like it, which means men are constantly creepily following her around, getting into fights over her, etc.

This is...sigh. There’s an aspect of “female character is punished for using her sexuality” here that makes me super uncomfortable. Certainly 90% of comic book villains have some kind of monkey’s paw in their backstory (“I tried to make a cool suit of armor and now I have robot tentacles!” “I tried to cryogenically freeze my dying wife and now I am really cold all the time!” etc.), but there’s a way in which it’s weaponized against certain types of female characters that’s deeply gendered and often kinda rape-y. (I got this vibe with Debbie and Micah Synn as well.) Lily wanted to control men through their desire to her? Well, now they might desire her so much they’ll assault her! That’ll show her! I guess. Ugh, it just grosses me out.

Anyway, Matt reluctantly agrees to help her, or more specifically have Dakota help her, since she won’t be affected by Lily’s scent the way he and Foggy will. Even with this caveat, when he meets Milla for dinner she does not like this:

I think we’re meant to be reading Milla as not being entirely rational about Lily because she’s so jealous of Karen’s memory and Lily reminds Matt of Karen, but she’s not wrong. I have no idea if we’re meant to read Matt as being sort of a douche in this scene but if my husband was like “Keep your voice down” and “Don’t be so hyperbolic” I would walk out of that fucking restaurant.

Or run, as the case may be:

Matt distracts Melvin so that Milla can get away (lotta Ms in this storyline), then somehow quick-changes to Daredevil for a fight. Melvin knocks him out and Matt wakes up handcuffed in the back of a police car:

The cops are arguing because it’s the middle of Civil War, which didn’t touch the Daredevil book very much but Matt was firmly on the anti-registration Team Cap side, unsurprisingly. As an unregistered superhero, just being out in a mask made him a criminal. (They don’t do anything with the fact that his secret identity was basically an open book at this point, which would have been interesting.)

Anyway, The Mysterious Voice Speaking On A Frequency Only Matt Can Hear gleefully tells him that he left his wallet at the restaurant, which has his home address, which means Melvin knows where to find Milla. Of course, Melvin was one of Matt’s bodyguards when his identity was first exposed and definitely already knew where he lived, but whatever.

Milla is, of course, wandering around the apartment in nothing but a bra and panties when Melvin shows up, because Daredevil artists apparently love putting her in her underwear to terrorize her and this is the last chance they’ll have to do it.

Melvin takes Milla up to the roof to wait for Matt. I’m including this exchange, where Milla tries to talk him down by appealing to his better nature, because it’s basically her last moment as herself. Reminding others of their better angels has always been one of her strengths, and she deserves to have that highlighted before...everything else.

Matt shows up. Melvin throws Milla off the roof:

Matt miraculously saves her and returns to fight Melvin, but Melvin has pretty much given up at this point and it’s all over but the crying. He’s bundled off to maximum security, and that’s...well, that’s the end of Melvin. This storyline came out in 2007, and this sweet, interesting character who has been around since the Silver Age has been unusable ever since. So thanks for that, Brubaker.

Matt’s furious, and determined to figure out who did this to Melvin:

“What did your sensei say about fighting angry?” always makes me laugh. Also, why would you ever suggest Matt follow Stick’s advice, Foggy, honestly.

(Foggy is A+++++ in this storyline and it makes me mad that I can’t even enjoy it because he’s just frantically trying to salvage a steaming pile of shit the whole time. Also given the overall ableism in this story I’m a little :/ that he basically takes over being the functional adult like Matt’s incapable of it.)

Matt runs into another dropped plot thread here because he gets on the trail of a street drug that makes people angry, which, like, how would Melvin have even gotten that in prison anyway, especially nonconsensually? Also, every other depiction of this drug shows it putting the user into a senseless rage, but Melvin sure was able to find his old lair, put on his Daredevil costume, track down Matt, and kidnap his wife when the plot required him to. How very Guardian Devil.

Anyway, Matt starts tracking the drug to its source. Meanwhile, Milla shows up at N&M:

Yeah, from here on out Milla is all tears and hysteria. Sigh.

Foggy decides to take her home, and Lily tags along, even though Foggy thinks that’s a REALLY REALLY bad idea because a) she's upsetting Milla, b) she fucks with Foggy’s head, and c) every dude in the subway is going to be all over her. But Lily insists, because she’s...manipulative? Genuinely feeling guilty and choosing the absolute worst way to fix that? Flimsy plot reasons? Let’s go with flimsy plot reasons.

While waiting for the train, Milla pretty much loses her shit at Lily, and also the world in general:

“I don’t know what I’ve done to you” is pretty rich, Lily. YOU LURED HER HUSBAND ON A MURDER CHASE ACROSS EUROPE.

Meanwhile, Dakota is still trying to figure out where Vanessa got Lily’s original perfume from - and Matt has followed the drug trail back to the Enforcers, a bunch of goofy-ass Silver Age villains we haven’t seen in decades. (They are specifically named the Ox, Fancy Dan, and Montana. They are ridiculous.) They clobber him and take him to their leader:

LARRY CRANSTON. MISTER FEAR. He made the perfume. He drove Melvin insane. And he’s the reason behind what happens next:

Lily lives. The random bystander does not. And when Matt, having been literally thrown out of the window and into the garbage by Mister Fear, returns home, Foggy is waiting for him:

Next Time: Milla is taken into custody, and Matt searches for a cure.

[nellygwyn]

Harlots Season 3, Episode 1 - Reaction, thoughts etc.

I am just gonna be as candid as possible about all this, and give you my honest thoughts (albeit borne out of a 3am migraine and period pains) about episode 1. I think I might break my thoughts down by storyline. Spoilers ahead:

• Charlotte Wells - So, initially, I was loving Charlotte. She was the Charlotte I know and love. Even when the Pincher storyline began to unfold and Isaac appeared in her life, I initially thought 'Charlotte is dealing with this in the Charlotte way. He's hateful to her so she laughs at him and plays him at his own stupid game.' Unfortunately, it appears that there is going to be some kind of romance between the two, or at least a sexual relationship, which began to unfold in the last part of the episode. This is a violent pimp, a class of people Charlotte has always hated, who lied to her, choked her and wants to bleed her dry. He threatened the girls in her house and then, he set fire to it, with Nancy and Fanny's baby inside. And this is supposed to be sexy? No. Like, I can't predict how this will ultimately end but I'm sorry, if the season finale isn't a shot of Isaac Pincher dead in the Thames, I really....really am disappointed they decided to sell this relationship as anything other than ooc for Charlotte and illogical. Also, can I just say that bawds and pimps worked with each other all the time? This is why Charlotte should never have BEEN a bawd. Bawds are not the pinnacle of feminism, they were often awful (and if not awful then morally grey) and pimps, that they often worked alongside, were worse. I don't think most of the bawds in the show are wholly bad but they were never wholly good either and presenting them as 'the sisterhood'...hello????

• Isabella - Now you guys know I do not like Isabella. I did like her and then at the end of Season 2, she threw Charlotte and other sex workers to the metaphorical wolves. However, S3 opens a year later and everything is...fine again, apparently? Charlotte forgives her, is probably even having sex with her sometimes. Even Nancy was nice to her, despite how much she riled against her at the end of S2. HOW IN THE HELL have we got here? Isabella's character has kind of done a complete 180 too. She's kind and mild. Maybe they want to make Fitzwells work as a ship but idk about my fellow bi girls or even lesbians out there....how do you feel about a bi woman throwing herself at a sexually perverse violent man and leaving a woman who is kind and affectionate to her in the dust? Is that portrayal something you want? Anyway, Isabella was okay in the episode, nothing super exciting. Sophia was BORING AS HELL and I do not DO NOT care about her elopement. Like...okay? This feels irrelevant and unnecessary?? Also, another historical note: Isabella wanted her friends to give money to Charlotte and her house, right? Their refusal obviously wasn't surprising to me, it was a massive risk on Isabella's part (ooc? Ooc) but when one of the women said 'You want us to give charity to harlots?' in a disgusted tone, I was just thinking like....that's exactly what you all already do. With the Magdalen Hospital and the Foundling Hospital. Late 18th century aristocrats were all about charity to sex workers. Not for the right reasons and not always in the most helpful ways but that was de rigueur. It wasn't the charity part that should've raised that lady's eyebrow, it was the fact Isabella was asking them to fund a brothel essentially.

• Emily Lacey - Her relationship with Hal Pincher is okay but like, again, he's a pimp, less violent than his brother but...birds of a feather flock together! I'm not really sure why she suddenly isn't very ambitious anymore but if she wants a lower middle class keeper? I support her. Also, lol, 'I wanna learn about commerce' as if 'commerce' wasn't also Georgian era slang for 'fucking.'

•Charles Quigley - I haven't forgotten how that little shit behaved at the end of Season 2 but I admit, I felt some sympathy with him or rather, pitied the fact that he was wallowing in his own sorrow. I wonder if he's left London for good...it did seem like they are trying to set up a romance between him and Fanny which...first of all, NO. Second of all, if he has to have a romance with someone that isn't Emily, why not Cherry? She adores him. But I feel as if she's used for comic relief a lot of the time, as if we're supposed to giggle at the fact that 1) a disabled sex worker exists, and 2) that she has quite a strong sexuality as well as having a disability. So maybe we won't see that, idk.

• Harriet - Harriet is based on a real person, a black woman who lived in Georgian London and decided to open a brothel populated purely with sex workers of colour. So I am glad they are finally getting into that storyline for her. We only met Rani properly, out of all her girls, and I adore her. Honestly, Harriet's storyline actually seems like it is gonna be great but also very minor, which is disappointing.

• Lydia - I hated the Bedlam storyline when it began and I am still unsure of it now. HOWEVER, since that's how things stand, I have to really praise Lesley Manville's acting power for making me root for Lydia and making me want her to be free again and bring a semblance of (evil) normality back to Covent Garden. What I REALLY hated was Catherine's intersecting storyline. Listen, lots of young girls got sent to Bedlam in the Georgian era but not usually for having sex with a servant. I know we often think of the past as being rife with doctors diagnosing sexually active women with hysteria and the like, but that wasn't really a thing at this point. In fact, attitudes towards the differences between men and women were just teetering on changing. Women were still seen as naturally hot blooded, men their prey at this point, and it wouldn't be until later on in the 18th century and into the 19th century that women were seen as naturally sexually modest and subservient and men, the hot blooded, libertine ones. It just feels...so dumb. I mean, I liked Catherine, I just want to know why that reason was used to chuck her in Bedlam. You know what might have actually been interesting? If she had some kind of depression or mental disability. Or even just for being a little weird, or non-conforming. They threw lower class women in for all those things and more.

• Lucy - One of the highlights of the episode, for me, was Lucy's storyline which intersects with new characters, Elizabeth Harvey and her son, Fredo (who is gorgeous and so foppish and ugh...it is a shame his character seems solely attracted to men because I...am a little bit in love). I was a little annoyed that Lucy wanting to be a bawd was presented as some kind of...regular ambition for a sex worker? As if being a bawd naturally followed being a courtesan. This isn't true. It's not like getting your undergraduate degree and then going to do your master's. Bawds were a very specific thing and most courtesan didn't want to essentially exploit women in that way. Anyway, after that fiasco, she does indeed go to buy a house and throws her lot in with Elizabeth and Fredo who want to open a mollyhouse. So, Lucy is a molly bawd now which to me, is a lot less awful than being a regular bawd. I'm excited to see where this goes, Elizabeth and Fredo were some WELCOME additions for me, along with Rani. Unfortunately, there were a lot of allusions to sodomy being a capital crime and Mrs May has a share in the house too so...I'm as worried about the outcome as I am excited to see mollyhouses explored.

All in all? I did enjoy the episode, perhaps because I was warned prior about some of the unsavoury things that happened and had time to prepare. I'm obviously very upset about the whole Charlotte and Isaac thing which does appear to be the dominant storyline, and that's not good. This season doesn't really understand what continuity is and Isabella walking into a gentleman's club to tell all the men there that she had a child out of wedlock made me laugh out loud because it was so absurd. Violet, Amelia, Florence and Justice Hunt have disappeared without a trace. Will and Jacob will be in the season but weren't in episode 1 (apparently they are in Scarborough, boxing, which....wig). BUT (and it's a very tentative 'but') this episode had enough small saving graces to spur me on to continue, if only to see Fredo say 'It's a hanging offence so it pays a lot, darling' again, and the gorgeous (GORGEOUS) costumes. Am I disappointed overall? Yeah. Do I think it is an irredeemable season? No, not yet. Watch this space.

[cj-anthony-stuff]

Skam Austin S2 Thoughts...

So I have pretty much been Druck obsessed (as you can tell if you look at my posts from the past couple of months. 99.9% are Druck) while S3 was on. And sigh... I heart Druck (actually all of Druck but mostly S3) so much. I CAN’T WAIT for S4, I love Amira and the whole gang and I can’t wait to see what Druck does for her. There will also be a Druck Thoughts post coming and a couple of Appreciation posts. But along with Druck I have also been watching Austin S2 and France S4 (in a more casual way than the Druck obsession) and while I never thought I’d be posting about them, Austin just ended yesterday with such a twist I HAD to blog about it. (so spoilers ahead if you haven’t watched Austin or France.EDIT: The Austin portion of this post is getting so long, And I think I’m going to wait and give France it’s own post when it’s season is over.) 

I have watched both Skam Austin seasons, and as it is my home country I do think they have done a good, accurate portrayal.I do really like both seasons but yet if I’m watching multiple remakes at a time it will always be the last one I watch and the one that I constantly am like, “oh yeah, this is really good.” It’s like the youngest child in a large family, the one you kind of forget about or ignore, and that’s a shame. (I will say airing it on the Facebook platform has never been a help in this department but we can’t change that.)

Anyway...So, Season 2. I pretty much liked all of the characters since S1 and that just grew in S2. I liked Grace and I think Kennedy did a good job in the role. I really like Daniel (he might be my favorite William so far, although I haven’t watched all of the remakes. Oh and when I say favorite, I’m also including OG William in this group.) Like many of you, S2 was my least favorite season and probably the only one of the OG I never rewatched. And so far Druck is the only other S2 remake I have seen. Druck was so much better than I expected and Austin really, really was too. Austin gave us all the OG points but yet still managed to throw in so many new things as well.

One of the things I thought they did AMAZINGLY well, is giving us side plots for so many of the characters WITHOUT breaking Grace’s POV. We got Megan and Marlon’s continued back and forth relationship, we got Jo interacting with PenJo AND a new guy Damian that she chatted with online. And—OMG—Zoya got MULTIPLE subplots—the Terrorist thing was followed through with making her prom queen. (And may I say, she looked absolutely STUNNING on prom night!!) And then of course she finds out that she was basically pity-voted into Prom Queen. We got to see some of her struggle as a young Muslim WOC and it wasn’t even her season. (It’s been a long time since I watched but I think the terrorist locker-thing was in OG right? Still, Sana didn’t get nearly this much time to tell her story in S2 I don’t believe) AND then they gave Zoya a relationship! Again I haven’t watched all of the remakes but I think this is the first version—OG or remake— to do so outside of her own season. (If I’m wrong please let me know in comments). I don’t know if this storyline will be continued in anyway in S3 (or if we’ll even see Zoya much since the POV character(s) will be different) but if Austin gets a S4 I can’t wait to see what they do with her.

While I’m talking characters, I have to throw in some appreciation for Eve. LOVED her from the minute she first appeared. I love that they made her a cousin to Grace AND that she featured so prominently in the season as an important support to Grace. I think making her family made for a stronger bond with Grace. Yes, she is a bit more loose and spontaneous, personality-wise, to Grace’s more organized, principled self but she is solidly THERE for Grace no matter what. She may be my favorite Eskild along with Druck Hans. Can’t wait to see how she factors in to next season.

One of the BIGGEST problems I think with all S2 versions (and I’m including OG-the idiocy started there) has been the idea that the girl squad are supposed to be such a tight knit group of friends and yet one of them starts dating and falls in love with a boy that another squad member is interested in. And of all of the girls it is the NOORA character, the strong, principled feminist one of the group!! I realize part of her journey is to discover things aren’t maybe so black and white, but still. It’s just very OOC to me. And Austin actually called this out with the ep.10 discussion between Jo and Grace. Granted, it felt like it was coming out of left-field a bit, but Jo explained her position. It was basically a “I’ll always love you but right now I don’t like you so much” speech and I thought it was great to see. (Again I don’t know if any other remake has done this?)

The BIG surprise, of course, was revealed as the very last scene of the whole show...Tyler was “green nail polish girl” (and not a girl at all obviously). I did see the speculations of this by viewers, so it was more of a confirmation OMG than a completely out of the blue surprise. And it made me go back and rewatch the whole season today, to really pay attention to Tyler’s scenes and the chats he had with Grace. This leaves us with SO many questions now going into S3 — clearly Shay is Isak and Tyler seems to be Even so what does this mean? Will there be two POV story lines in S3? And what I really want to know is how will this new friendship between Tyler and Grace be revealed? I really hope it will remain and develop/blossom during the season. (I will be very upset if they drop it and ignore it.) I am super excited to see what happens in S3 now.

[thedogsled]

Hi guys. I’m going to cautiously title this ‘About Zimbio, Destiel, my personal struggle with the idea of wlw vs. mlm, and why what we achieved in the vote today says a lot about our magnificent fandom’. 

This is a reminder in advance that I make generalizations but I don’t mean any harm by them. I’m happy to discuss this topic and capitulate on some things, because my experience of shows is extremely limited right now (unless I want to watch them in French). Just like Dean I say ‘we’ a lot but please assume sometimes I mean ‘I’, I by no means make any claim to speak for all of the following groups at any point: bisexuals, mlm shippers, wlw shippers, television executives, social media marketers, the mainstream audience, destiel shippers--etc, etc, you get the drift.) If any of the following upsets you, please let me know, it’s not my intent to cause any harm, only reassure my friends that they did a good job.

I promised I was going to write a post on this, because I’ve seen just a little mumbling and unhappiness that Destiel didn’t make it through in the semis. I get it, it’s only natural that it’s going to lead to some hurt feelings, but I wanted to really put across to you all why I say I was proud of us for our semi-final performance, rather than you just take it for granted.

We are an old fandom. Thirteen years is a long time; it makes Supernatural the longest single run fantasy/sci fi series on American TV (and I mean I think it’s unfair to compare it to non American shows like Doctor Who anyway just on pure numbers, especially since Who has gone through thirteen fourteen? fifteen? are we counting radio drama? actors in the lead role; it’s like a different show every time.) So. It’s had a superb run. Fantasy/sci fi shows are typically considered to be niche, not massive hits (comparatively speaking; SPN isn’t Grey’s Anatomy or NCIS I’ll grant). But what networks are finally waking up to is the power of the fandom of those ‘niche’ shows, dedicated viewing power which can grow a network’s brand, particularly online, and networks are eager to wrangle that.

This modern era of television is fandom’s era of television. Netflix are promoting gamification of television watching (even for kids) as well as choose your own adventure style TV. Binging and rewatching box sets is a whole thing now, not just the domain of the “geek”, and shows which can convince people to stick around and watch something instead of moving on when they run out of material--they’re the ones gaining success, while traditional shows slip further and further as they fail to capture new demographics. We’re making strong social media contracts with the creators and actors of our shows, and making it clear to them - in a way that is increasingly being recognized for the opportunity it represents - that there must be give and take with modern audiences, especially if you seek gratification through social media. (I read a great article I reblogged that called it the ‘Brandom’ effect.)

It’s wonderful, and it’s terrifying, because both fans and creators don’t know what to do with it. They can give fans too much power and the show goes off the rails, or deny it to them entirely, and earn only vitriol. Some shows rub their power right in the face of their fans and increasingly they pay for it. Some showrunners are outright incapable of talking to their fans at all without being respectful (I’m looking at you The 100), and some fans are ghastly, aggressive and outright disrespectful in pursuing what they want (it is a different thing showing joy over your ship as it is to dox actors and send their wives hate mail). Some showrunners, instead, are more embracing of their fans, like the Earpers, and if you want an idea of how actors should be engaging with fans, check out David Haydn Jones’ twitter. That man is a saint. It’s a delicate game of mutual respect, and occasional drama, and intent is the name of the game: do you have good intent, is it honest? People crave honesty on the internet where everything and everyone is fake--and that honestly is a tough thing to achieve when studios are too heavily concentrating on their bottom line.

So, this is a changing landscape, like I said, and people are struggling with new marketing techniques, trying to find their place in the world, running into walls when they realize that in fact they don’t understand their queer audience members. When something works, shows are very quick to jump right into it, almost relieved to have evidence that if they do X thing, their fans won’t all jump ship in horror, but here’s the thing, networks are in a lot of ways far slower to respond than shows. If you want to do something, you have to prove to the person holding the purse strings that it’s a profitable endeavor. Producers are set in their ways, especially old school producers, not realizing how quickly the landscape is changing, and writers are fighting against that all the time, because they’re often a lot more in touch with the creative fandoms they’re trying to inspire. Many have come from fandoms themselves. Queer writers should mean more queer storylines, right? But it means fighting money men to make it happen. Oftentimes that leads to the whole ‘one queer ship is enough’ standpoint, and when it comes down to it, those money men are more likely to put stock in safe investments, in proven investments. Consequently, wlw is flourishing because it draws in audiences without losing them. It’s arguably less risky to make Alex Danvers gay than Castiel. It’s more PC, accepted by wider audiences, groundwork laid by Dark Angel and Buffy in my own recent memory. When good results come from featuring those kinds of ships, they appear increasingly on TV, and it’s AWESOME. There were 16 wlw ships in Zimbio March Madness, and 11 of them got through all the way to 8vs8. There were only 2 mlm ships in 8vs8, and 3 het ships. Internet fandom, passionate and social and dedicated? It speaks, and it says ‘More LGBT rep please’.

We’re in a transitional period. Changes are coming, but when you look at the big mlm ships of the last few years, you can see the uphill climb that’s still ahead of us. I spoke with our Hannigram and Johnlock friends last year about what their experience with this was like. (I haven’t spoken to Sterek folks, but I know there’s disappointment from that front too). Johnlock shippers are largely furious about how explicitly the finale no-homoed their ship when there was absolutely no reason to. Having watched the finale myself, I feel like they really went hard against shippers explicitly. Hannigram suffered too. I haven’t finished S3 even now, but what I recall of the conversation went like this: they’re together, but there was a kiss that didn’t make it to air, and then the show was cancelled. In any case, what I’m saying right here is that this is part of a pattern, a theme I’m struggling with, where mlm fans are dispirited and disappointed and feeling disrespected by the very mainstream shows they’re watching.

(Which isn’t, I’ll quickly note, that I’m saying the same isn’t true of wlw audiences. The last two ships in Zimbio this year are non canon ships, and the fans of both have been hurt by the shows they watch, but they still keep coming back and watching the show. Swanqueen is ending, but the pair have been consistently mirrored - dark and light - with the emotional journey of the show largely being made over the shared custody? I don’t know, they changed it every week while I was watching it of Emma’s son. Supercorp is clearly full of eye sex thanks to the actress’ chemistry (and McGrath is so gorgeous she’d have chemistry with a brick wall) and yet has been outright mocked by the show’s cast. If that sounds familiar to Destiel fans, I almost want to say that Supercorp have it worse; just as with Swanqueen, they’re often told simply to shut up because there's already wlw rep on the show.)

But where shows are willing to go there now, diminished risk is the key, especially as resale value of shows reflects multiple, competitive platforms constantly needing to purchase content to fill their airspace. Naked women, women kissing and women having sex - bisexual women who are explicitly still available to men - that sells, but as far as I can tell networks are struggling to sell the same narrative about mlm. Maybe that’s my perspective only, maybe that’s me watching the wrong shows (and not at all because I don’t enjoy looking at women’s bodies, I do, but variety is the spice of life) Look at the outright surprise last year when GOT gave us a beautiful, pus covered, full screen dick. GOT, of course, which is insulated because it is a Number One performer. I present to you, in terms of dicks on screen, American Gods, then. Neil Gaiman is my hero, selling the network on the premise that they could have his great stories if only they were willing to gleefully integrate peen on every episode. Or so I’m told. There’s a lot on my ‘to watch’ list that I haven’t got around to yet. I will tell you, of course, that mlm is out there, Evak were voted out against Supercorp in the quarter finals) but on a big show like Supernatural that risk is exceptional. That’s why when we talk about Destiel ‘going canon’, we make the shockingly ambitious request of them HOLDING HANDS, or mutually saying ‘I love you’, and sometimes feel like expecting anything more, like a kiss, or god forbid a sex scene, is too much to ask. Why? When lesbians and bisexual women are presented on TV, kisses and sex scenes are a matter of course. In Alex’ coming out, in Thirteen’s coming out in House, Angela’s coming out in Bones - huge ensemble shows where main characters, all women, have come out and kissed (and returned to male partners in the case of the later two). (I should point out I am talking about genre “mainstream” shows in general, not for example Queer as Folk, where the primary aim is to explore sexuality, not fight dragons or solve crimes)

Now in addition to this problem, an issue that I’ve seen for years is that from inside the fandom world we are made to feel as though we are somehow obscene or inferior for shipping mlm ships, a projection that comes from the way mainstream folks will react to you if they happen to discover you drawing dudes together. Sometimes we hide our online selves from the real world out of shame that has only built over the years, where it’s considered that supporting mlm ships instead of wlw ships makes you fetishistic, or objectifying of gay men. I’ve seen it in fanfiction spaces and in rp spaces on dw and lj that shipping wlw has been raised to a point of being considered ‘more pure’. If you ‘claim’, they say, to be a queer woman, you should wholly be supporting wlw ships. When I started hearing this dialogue I was THIRTEEN. This was before Willow/Tara. There were just less wlw ships on tv, and there were less female characters whose autonomy didn’t depend on men, or portray them as being fragile, the weakness of their gender or whatever. There were standout female characters in my youth, absolutely, but they were all independent (mostly) straight women: Kathyrn Janeway, Sam Carter, Clarice Starling, Dana Scully. They kicked out against the system, the world they lived in, intelligent and defiant ladies I still idolize. Nowadays, though those wlw ships are available, and populated by so many beautiful, powerful, progressive female characters - and yes miraculously even strong female characters who still embrace their own womanhood. In contrast  mlm ships are not keeping up because, in some way, I think that the ‘impurity’ of shipping mlm has stuck. I struggle to think of even straight non toxic male role models, nevermind male role models who are in engaging, romantic relationships with the same sex. This stagnation of masculinity (apart from the rise of the geek hero which often, as in the case of TBBT, doesn’t break away from inbuilt misogyny) troubles me immensely. (I’m not saying all male characters are awful, incidentally, but it’s not a positive message to outright expose the flaws of toxic masculinity without offering understanding, lessons, and growth. But that’s another essay.)

Trust me, I’m not saying everyone feels that TV is being stacked against mlm, but as a bisexual I really feel fractured by the whole thing. I feel like I’m supposed to loathe myself for shipping mlm, particularly when that mlm ship is ‘two white guys’. The fact that I as a woman enjoy male and female bodies is irrelevant, because one desire is pure, and one desire is fetishism. There is no balance. I’m allowed to be titilated by members of my own gender kissing each other and only that and heterosexuality. As a bisexual who is currently leaning toward wlw myself (sexuality existing on a sliding scale imo), it is the power imbalance in heterosexual couples which puts me off. It’s painfully true to life. I have a particular loathing for Booth and Brennan from Bones, for example, where his toxic masculinity is unilaterally forgiven because it’s true love, while Bones, once independent and stubborn herself, is increasingly nudged further out of character in order to forgive him his trespasses. But when I ship mlm, or write fanfic of my favorite couples, any power I give them is not based on their gender. The same I imagine is true of wlw. (An unfortunate consequence of this is people project it onto real life, where power inequality and abuse can exist regardless of make believe ‘purity’, and consequently people end up believing that something is wrong with them rather than their relationship, similar issues as people face when they imagine marriage is the goal, and everything else is happily ever after, because Disney told them so. In which case I advise you to rewatch Mary Poppins.)

During voting, I was reticent to address why voting for Destiel over the other ships was important to me. It was personal. (Of course anyone could have sent me an ask if they were curious). But why I was voting didn’t matter. It was enough that I was voting for the couple I love, whose relationship my blog is devoted to, and whose love story I hope is resolved. But there is more to it than that. What’s important, I guess, is how I feel about Dean. My reading of him is of a bisexual, still in the closet - perhaps even to himself - in his thirties. He made it out of high school, but that’s it, because he dropped out of higher education for family commitments. He likes rock music and classic cars. He loves pie, and dumb medical TV dramas, and cowboy hats, and riding rodeo bulls and chatting to strangers. He struggles with voicing his true self with people who know him, and might judge him in a way he will never come back from. Dean is basically me. I am all those things. And in this case, he’s in love with a genderfluid (has been both male and female) guardian angel whose love for Dean explicitly and singularly, has been described as a profound bond, and the greatest love story ever told. Castiel’s love for Dean, his willingness to do anything for him, is all I think any of us want from a romantic partner. And yes, we all find different things in our ships, and presumably other people connect with Destiel for reasons that aren’t the same as my own, but that’s okay. My reasons are my reasons.

And yet I am still thrown into that emotional disconnect: that because this couple is an mlm couple I’m wrong to ship it, that I would be better putting my energy into watching shows I don’t necessarily enjoy as much so I can find my representation in more respectable (or potentially less queerbaity) fandoms. That Supernatural isn’t good enough because I’ve been repeatedly told by people inside and outside the fandom that it isn’t good enough. I’ve got to tell you I agree that it struggles with being progressive. While season 3 of Grey’s Anatomy was showing the struggles of a pre-op mtf woman and her wife in an ep that made me actually cry for the dysphoria represented, on the other channel SPN had just got done killing a token ‘woman with an off screen girlfriend’ character. By season 11, we’ve had two gay male couples, both holding hands and leaning into each other to express their relationship. SPN is slow. Nobody in the world would deny that. 

But to be quite honest, also, finding representation doesn’t have to mean ‘a ship’, it can just be a well written bisexual woman with a badge, and you aren’t restrained to just one rep either! In fact, the more the better. I find myself particularly starved for that rep, especially since - having been fetishized for my bisexuality irl before - I see painful reflections of that on television. That’s obviously going to be related to bad writing and TV’s particular way of objectifying women in general, too, but when a woman (say Angela Montenegro from Bones) has a two episodes storyline where she makes out with another insanely attractive actress, the music rising, lit with soft shades, the camera focused in on their mouth--before the plot is forgotten entirely, it is incredibly difficult not to see that as objectification and not bisexual solidarity. I want more mlm on TV because I want more bisexuals of both genders on TV, and because of the harmful insinuation in mainstream thought that a guy who comes out as bi late has somehow been lying to himself and was gay all along, while women who are bi are just exploring their sexuality and somehow more up for it. Those views need to be constantly, constantly challenged, because, honestly, people believe them. (Probably not me or you, but it’s out there).

(As an aside: mainstream is also harsh toward female writers who write mlm stories. There have understandably, as a result, been female writers who chose male pseudonyms to pen their gay romance novels. I first experienced this to a lesser extent back in Gundam Wing fandom, because if you were a ‘male’ author it legitimized you and people would read your stories in preference to those penned by girls. Back then it was a numbers game. The prejudice does remain. Audiences are sometimes outright cold to female authors who pen mlm stories! You need only look at the conversation about boycotting Love, Simon because it was written by a straight woman to appreciate just how deeply we’ve built this disconnect, as though to write something the author must always write from personal experience. If that’s the case, I feel terrible for Thomas Harris and Jeff Lindsay, and JK Rowling (who speaks about choosing her moniker because it was genderless) must certainly have had an exciting childhood, what with all the magic and dragons. 

As a result I think we (or at least I) have internalized some harmful things about who has the right to interpret themselves in stories told about men, or male protagonists. And in lashing back at girls who for years have been doing just that, considering it to be lesser if I find a role model in Dean instead of Angela, we have harmed the integrity of mlm fans themselves, who increasingly struggle under a burden of self imposed guilt. It is reflecting back poorly on mlm performances, even as wlw stories flourish. In this raising the pedestal of wlw purity, the ‘ethical’ alternative, we dismiss what people can learn about themselves from male role models too, something that we instead encourage if it’s a teenage boy finding a role model in Elsa. My closeted bi self loving Dean Winchester harms nobody, but I am still made to feel lesser for doing so, even if sometimes that feeling is ridiculously self imposed. Hell, maybe I’m alone in this feeling and the rest of this is bullshit, but that’s why I said ‘I vs we’ was definitely a part of this commentary.

In any case, this is what I think this means to the Zimbio vote: As wlw rep has been increasing, mlm has been facing a disappointing deficit. Those once big fandom movers ‘Superwholock’, the Hannigrams, the Sterek shippers--have fractured and splintered off. Destiel has come in waves but it’s still somehow here, without its original opponents from back in the day. It’s here, even with setbacks after season 8 and 10 that had fans breaking away from Supernatural entirely. Optimism now reflects optimism felt before, but let’s face it Castiel was killed permanently at one point, and Bob Singer said outright, even just a few years ago, that Destiel and social media stuff just didn’t come up in the writing room (pr is not showrunning, etc). People are hugely entitled to struggle with optimism for non canon mlm ships because history repeats itself. Add into that feelings like I described above, and the struggle is real. It can sometimes feel like you’re fandom’s three legged, one eyed donkey.

Add to that how old Destiel is. Every fandom coming into existence now, every ship built around, comes into contact with Destiel at some point. If you type ‘queerbaiting’ into Wikipedia, our ship is cited. In Google, we come up first. Thanks to antis (and some genuinely bad behavior from bad apple shippers over the years) we’ve earned a reputation, and it moves before us into every ship interaction we have. Because of that, we can appear both intimidating and as something to be avoided, because ‘what if you meet a crazy one’? You’d think seniority would be a good thing, but few people see us as a ship that’s been there and done that, as they do Swanqueen. We aren’t the ship that can perhaps offer advice on things going on in whippersnapper fandoms based on our experiences, as it would be in an ideal world. We’re not a ship to be aligned with, and because of this odd perception of wlw vs. mlm, there was simply never any potential that support for Supercorp wasn’t going to skyrocket. It was a fight against ‘That monolithic mlm ship that just won’t stop’, as it were, because here we still are hanging onto threads hoping our ship will go canon, and based on past evidence, the fall of other mlm ships, and only looking in from the outside, that seems like wishful thinking.

So we were unlikely to gain allies from heartbroken mlm fandoms. We were unlikely to find allies in wlw fandoms. It’s sad, of course, because for all the talk of representation in media, the desire to express a balance and cheerlead for mlm, imo an obvious representation underdog, simply doesn’t ever come up. Our friends and relatives roll our eyes at us if we talk about Destiel because we get that ridiculous light in our eyes when we do. Ultimately, that meant that Destiel was on its own. It had to unify. It had to pour its passion into voting and be a family again. It’s been knocked out in previous years - honestly based on what I’ve heard it’s been a disaster - but THIS YEAR we pulled out all the stops. That was all us. Despite antivoting, Destiel shippers - and only Destiel shippers - fought and fought - thousands of votes after thousands of votes, as we made small leads only to slip three times further. We didn’t stop. We were there and fighting right up until the end. And it may just have been a silly online poll, but I think it really goes to show what we can do when we put our hearts into it. We more than doubled the amount of votes cast in the previous round, over the exact same time scale, even though Supercorp fought back with everything they had, all the vibrancy of being a fresh, shunned ship determined to prove themselves, using social media strategy and unity to bring in votes from wherever they could get them. They fought well. They were wiley and smart, and so passionate; passionate like I thought I’d forgotten how to be.

And we kept fighting. We were in the semis, with twice as many votes more than Swanqueen, and we fought tooth and nail and almost got there, slipping just in the last half hour.

I have to believe that that’s because some people in the Destiel family have hope. I know we’ve drawn in a lot of new and returning shippers recently, I’ve seen you following me and starting out in meta writing yourselves, joining Destiel exchanges for the first time, sharing your first codas. The DCBB and Pinefest have had ENORMOUS turnouts. We are, despite all odds, growing as a ship again. 

I really hope that we can overcome the shame that has somehow been drummed into us for shipping mlm. I hope that we can all, whether we ship wlw, mlm, het or poly or whatever peeps are doing these days, make sure not to raise one as an ideal over the others, because it’s not in the spirit of family, of fandom. It is never ‘us against them’, it’s never a case of moral or ethical superiority, definitely not even in everyday parlance and least of all in a shipping popularity contest.

And maybe despite the risk, we’ll get an ‘I love you’, some hand holding. Hell, maybe even a kiss (Supernatural never even gave us a kiss between Jesse and Cesar, though, so I have my doubts.) But God if that wouldn’t pave the way for better deconstruction of toxic masculinity on genre TV, more presence of bisexual men and gay men on genre TV, and more men kissing and open expression of sexuality on genre TV. 

So here’s my final word. Maybe the bunnies will kiss. Maybe they’ll even do what bunnies do, who knows? And maybe next year we’ll win it.

I hope I didn’t step on any toes with this post. I felt like these words needed to come out of me, though, so here they are. Thank God there’s no more Zimbio until next year, right? Please refer back to my first paragraph for disclaimers. Thanks, though, if you read this far.

[javajunkieao3]

Pitch Perfect AU Fic:  The Wedding (Jesse/Beca)

Summary:  Five years after college, Beca and Jesse run into each other at Fat Amy’s wedding.   Jeca AU

-----

She'll never forget the first time she saw his name in the credits of a movie. It was some romantic comedy that she'd already forgotten the name of, but she could couldn't shake the indescribable feeling she had when she saw his name flash on the screen.

Score Composed By:

Jesse Swanson

She hadn't known it was him when the movie started and she found herself wanting to watch the whole thing over again just to listen to that tinkering behind the action. Her boyfriend at the time stood up and looked down at her in confusion because she wasn't moving. She was stock still in her seat, eyes staring at the space on the screen where his name had appeared. She came out of it relatively quickly and stood up with a jolt, going on about how she must have spaced out for a moment or something like that. Her boyfriend didn't ask further – probably indicative of one of the reasons they break up three months later – and they leave, Beca wondering how many other movies there were out there with Jesse's name in the credits.

That night she sat in bed with her laptop propped on her lap as she went through Jesse's Wikipedia page. First off, it was damn impressive that he had a Wiki page, and the resume that followed did not disappoint. It seemed there was a whole body of work that she had missed. Adding the Wiki page to her bookmarks, she thought to herself that she had some catching up to do.

She ended up Netflixing most of the movies and began to be swept up more by the swelling music accompanying the action than any storyline that followed. She didn't know if it was her reading too much into the scores – but she swore she could see Jesse in them. Bits and pieces were so familiar that she found herself smiling for no real reason other than that they reminded her of him.

She thought of calling him up several times as she made her way through his film work, but she chickened out every time. Her and Jesse had history, and she didn't want to give him the wrong idea. Besides, was it really necessary that he know that she had watched his films? It had been years since they dated. He probably wouldn't even care. The idea crossed her mind a few more times, but then she finished the list and life predictably got in the way. She got a promotion at work. Her and the boyfriend went through a rough patch before finally ending a relationship that probably should have ended much sooner than it had. She forgot all about Jesse Swanson until she found a wedding invitation in the mail.

You are cordially invited to the wedding of:

Brad Weston

and

Patricia Brightman

It seemed Fat Amy was getting married, and she thought enough of Beca still to invite her. Beca was surprised mainly for the reason that her and Amy hadn't talked for at least two years. If anyone were to unexpectedly send a save-the-date her way, though, it would be Fat Amy, and Beca sent back a response saying she would attend without hesitation. It would be nice to see Fat Amy. Who knew, maybe more Barden Bellas would be there, too.

It is at her table at Fat Amy's wedding reception that Beca recalls that night at the movie theaters where she had been rendered immobile by the mere presence of his name on the screen. She wraps her hand around her whisky and coke and gives it a stir with a flick of her wrist, the ice clinking festively against the glass.

"Beca?"

She glances over to her side and grins when she sees Chloe with a tall red-head man beside her.

"Oh my God, it is you!" Chloe says loudly, looking up at the man. "I told you it was her!"

Beca laughs, standing up and stepping into Chloe's waiting hug.

"It's great to see you, Chloe. How are you?"

"Beyond upset that Fat Amy made it to the altar before me," Chloe says, flashing her left hand that prominently featured a detailed engagement brand. "She's totally taken half my ideas. That's what I get for talking about my wedding plans with her!"

"You and Fat Amy are still close, then?" Beca asks, feeling a sudden wash of guilt at becoming so disconnected while Chloe nods.

"Yeah, we all are for the most part," Chloe says. She senses Beca's discomfort and adds, "But, you know, it was easy since we're still all in New York. I'm sure if we were in L.A. like you…"

"I'm not the best with keeping in touch," Beca says. "Never one of my strong suits."

"Well, even more reason for us to catch up!" Chloe gushes, reaching forward and gently touching her arm. "I bet you're wondering who this tall hunk of ginger next to me is."

Beca grins and glances at the guy. "Let me guess, you're the fiancée?"

"You don't miss a beat," he returns. "I'm Roger."

"Really nice to meet you," Beca says. "I'm glad that Chloe was able to find another of her kind."

"So, are you here with anyone?" Chloe asks.

"Nope, it's just me," Beca says.

"Is there anyone at home?" Chloe asks leadingly.

"My boyfriend and I broke up last month," Beca answers. "Haven't really been on the dating scene much after that."

"That's a shame. Have you been out much? Because I know after a breakup it's difficult to really put yourself out there but…"

It may have been years since Beca had last seen Chloe but she has no problem remembering her dogged inquisitions when it comes to relationships. Knowing that this will be a long and painful conversation if she does not extricate herself soon, she clears her throat and interrupts with, "You know, I see someone that I should really say hi to. So…"

"Oh, you should totally go," Chloe says. "We didn't mean to monopolize you over here. Go mingle!"

Beca nods with a tight smile, "Yeah, okay. I'll talk to you guys later. Roger, it was really nice meeting you."

"You too, Beca."

She excuses herself from the two of them and heads straight to the bar at the side of the dance floor. She had nearly drained her previous drink and she couldn't think of any reason not to have a second. As she waits in the small line someone steps behind her and her shoulders tense when something alarmingly akin to a bird noise rings out behind her.

"No way," she murmurs softly.

"Becaaww."

She turns around and meets the amused face of none other than Jesse Swanson. His eyes are bright and he says, "Fat Amy said you'd be here."

"Seriously?" Beca says. "Am I the only one who didn't keep in touch?"

"I'd assume you kept in touch enough if you're here," Jesse says.

She chooses not to correct him.

"You look nice," he says. "Are you here with anyone?"

She gives him a look and says, "No."

"Good, then I won't have to ask for someone's permission to take all of your slow dances."

She smiles slightly and says, "I see you haven't changed."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," he returns. They're silent for a moment as the line moves forward and he casually says, "So, I've followed your music."

She glances over at him in surprise. "You have?"

He nods. "Yeah, your sound has really grown up. It's great."

"Thanks," she says uncomfortably. She considers telling him that she's kept herself similarly abreast of his career, but instead asks, "So, how's composing? Win an Oscar yet?"

He laughs. "No, not yet. Haven't ruled it out entirely, though."

"So, you're working?" she asks cautiously, not wanting to betray the fact that she knows exactly how much he's been working. For some reason she'd rather him think that she has no clue – no interest in his life since they left Barden and each other.

"Pretty steady for about two years now," Jesse says. "It took a while to take off, but I have no complaints. I love what I do. Every time that I get to score a new morning it's…" he trails off, a brilliant smile on his face, "…it's like Christmas morning."

She's staring at him and doesn't notice that the line has moved until he points behind her and says, "The bar's open."

She moves forward, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. The room suddenly feels cold and goosebumps rise on her arms. But then he steps next to her, the sleeve of his jacket brushing against her arm, and she feels heat rise in her chest.

"I'll have a scotch neat," Jesse says. He glances down at Beca and asks, "What are you going to have?"

"Whiskey and coke."

Jesse smirks. "Why am I not surprised?" He glances back at the bartender and says, "A whiskey and coke, too."

The bartender makes the drinks and Jesse hands him over the money. Beca tries to pay him back for her part but he brushes it off with a sweep of his hand.

"Think of it as my apology for the Treblemakers winning Nationals our senior year," Jeses says with a grin. She laughs, taking the drink from him and says, "That's going to require a lot more than a drink, buddy."

"Still bitter?"

"We were robbed," she says. "Our set list was way better than yours and you know it."

He grins. "Yeah, I do. Just didn't want to admit it then."

She rolls her eyes and says, "Typical."

"Anyway, enough about the past. What do you think about L.A.?"

"It's nice," she says with a shrug. "The people aren't half bad and there are some pretty good sushi restaurants."

"Have you tried Nokamura?" he asks immediately. "It's on 5th and Grove. Best sushi I've ever had."

She stares at him and asks, "You live in L.A.?" "Well, yeah. Where else do you score movies?"

"Good point," she says blankly, still reeling a bit from the news. Even as she made her way through his entire career of films, it had never occurred to her that he lived in the same city as her.

"You know, I saw you down there once," he says.

"You did?"

Jesse nods. "It was at Whole Foods. You were picking out apples – with your usual diligence, might I add. You rejected a good seven or eight apples."

"I hate ones with soft spots," she says automatically.

"Yeah, I remember," he says with a slight grin. She remembers then that when they dated back at Barden they used to go grocery shopping together. He would make fun of her mercilessly as she threw out apple after apple.

"Anyway," she says. "Why didn't you say hi?"

For the first time that night Jesse looks uncomfortable and he says, "You, uh, had someone with you."

"I…" she trails off when she realizes who he's talking about.

"He seemed nice. Had good hair. Impressive biceps, too."

"You sound smitten," she returns sarcastically. "You know, we're broken up now. I could give you his number."

Jesse laughs. "No, I think I'm good."

She takes a large gulp of her drink, wincing slightly as the alcohol burns her throat. Jesse notices the expression and says, "Hurts so good, right?"

"You got it," she says, raising her drink in a mini salute.

Someone begins to hit their spoon against their champagne flute and a clinking sound fills the room.

"I think it's time for the speeches," Jesse says. "Can I get you for a dance afterwards?"

Beca nods. "Yeah, sure."

They walk over to their respective tables and Beca settles in her seat for the toasts.

Not two seconds after the toasts end Jesse is in front of her with his hand extended.

"I'm here to collect on that dance."

"You got here fast. Worried I'd run away?"

"More worried that someone else would edge in first."

"Alright," she says, rising from her chair. "But if you step on me I'm going right back to this chair."

"I promise you, I will be on my best dancing behavior."

They walk out to the dance floor and he slips his arm around her waist. Her arms go naturally around his neck and as they sway to the beat she feels as if no time has passed between now and when they had been in college – both hopelessly in love but one too stubborn to admit it. She wonders then how things might have been different if she had been more open. That's the real reason they didn't work in the end. He gave her everything and she came to a point where she couldn't give him any more. She had reached her limit and even he couldn't pull her past it. She thinks of the last man that had shared her bed, and wonders if anything was different now. She liked to think she had grown over the years, but had she really? She thinks of her isolated life in L.A. and wonders if she'd reverted. Was she back to the girl who chose the solitary life over one with people simply because it was easier?

She suddenly feels like her dress is too tight. There's a weight on her chest and she can't take in a full breath. Being back with all these Barden people was messing with her head – turning everything the wrong way. She was happy back in L.A. She had a life and the career she always wanted, and yet she came here and found herself questioning everything.

"I…I need some air," she says, pulling away from him suddenly. She doesn't look back to see if he's following as she pushes her way out to the back exit of the venue, but she isn't surprised to see him come out the door after her.

"Beca, what's going on?"

"I…I think I'm having a panic attack," she says, leaning forward and bracing her hands on her thighs as she struggles to get a full breath in.

"Um, okay," Jesse says worriedly. "Do you need water? You should probably sit. Come on, let's go inside-"

"No, I don't want to go inside," she says immediately, shaking her head. "I can't. I…"

"Alright, that's fine," he says placatingly. "We'll just sit out here. How does that sound?"

Beca nods. "That's fine."

"Alright."

Jesse helps her onto the ground and then sits next to her. She shivers in the cold and he takes off his suit jacket and drapes it around her shoulders. She doesn't speak for a good two or three minutes, staring at a trash can across the street.

"Beca-"

"Do you think I'm different?" she asks abruptly.

"Are you different?"

She nods. "Yeah, from college. Have I changed?"

"Based off just tonight?"

She thinks about it for a minute and lets out a humorless laugh, shaking her head. "Yeah, I guess that's a stupid question for you. Not really something you can tell from a few hours with someone."

"What's going on?" he asks.

"I just think about the Bellas," she begins slowly. "I think about how close I got with all of them. And then I think about you. I think about how we were happy, but then that wasn't enough. Makes me wonder if anything will ever be enough for me."

"We were young, Beca," Jesse says after a moment. "Both of us made mistakes."

She shakes her head. "But things haven't changed. I haven't, at least. I still close myself off. Push people away."

"Beca-"

"Earlier this evening when I asked you if you were working – I knew the answer," Beca says, turning to look at him. "I've seen every movie. I've practically memorized your Wikipedia page. But I didn't want to tell you because for some reason I didn't want you to know. I didn't want to admit that I cared. How stupid is that?"

"Pretty stupid," Jesse admitted. "But, look, even if you still are pushing people away, the fact that you recognize that and want to change is important." The look on her face clearly says that she doesn't believe him and he presses, "The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?"

"You sound like a bad infomercial."

"No one's perfect, Beca. We all need a little work."

"How about you? What do you need work on?"

Jesse pauses for a moment and then answers, "I probably could floss more."

She laughs slightly and he says, "There it is. I knew I could make you smile."

Beca takes a deep breath before standing up and extending her hand down toward him. He looks up at her and asks, "Are you better now?"

She nods. "Yeah, my moment of introspection has passed."

He takes her hand and she pulls him up off the ground. When he's upright he wipes off the seat of his pants and says, "We probably should head back inside."

Beca nods. "Yeah."

When they walk back inside Fat Amy is upon them almost immediately, her eyes scrutinizing their appearance.

"Dammit, no mussed clothes or hair," Fat Amy says. "I lost the bet, didn't I?"

"What are you talking about?" Beca asks in confusion.

"Did you guys make out?"

"No," Jesse says while Beca loudly goes, "Dude, no!"

"Yeah," Fat Amy says, frowning. "That's what I thought." She glances back at Chloe who is watching them closely and yells, "There is no touch down! No touch down!"

Jesse glances at Beca and asks, "Want to get a drink?"

"Much more than a few seconds ago."

"Yes, go get liquored up," Fat Amy says, ushering them toward the bar. "Let loose a bit. Get a little funny in the head."

As they make their way to the bar Beca notes, "Man, she really wants to win that bet."

The reception progresses in the usual manner. Fat Amy gets drunk on champagne and can barely make her way to the limousine to take her and her new husband to the hotel for the start of their honeymoon. The party breaks up around one in the morning, and Beca finds that most of them are staying in the same hotel. A bunch of them share a cab back to the hotel, Jesse squeezing in against Chloe's matching ginger. It's a loud cab ride and she can see the driver is more than happy to drop them off in front of their hotel. Jesse pays for the entire ride and when she tries to slip him a ten he shakes his head. Chloe goes on about how they should all meet in her room and continue the night, but Roger shakes his head and she figures he wants his fiancée to himself.

So, Beca goes up to her room and sits on her bed for a while before opening up the minibar and pulling out a bottle of wine from the back. She slips her shoes off and walks out of her room, locking the door behind her. While she stood behind Jesse in line in the lobby she had heard his room number, and moves quietly through the hall to his room. She hesitates before she knocks, wondering if he's asleep. She figures it hasn't been too long since they all separated, though, and if he doesn't answer after a few knocks then she'll have her answer and she'll drink in her room alone. He answers after the second knock, already changed into boxers and a band t-shirt. She feels silly then for still being in her dress.

He glances at the bottle of wine and says, "Is that for both of us or just you?"

"If you're going to bed…"

"I'm not," he says, stepping aside. "Come in."

She walks in, glancing around at the room. It's identical to hers save for the framed painting above the bed. He holds out his hand for the bottle and she hands it over, watching him search for cups. He grabs two of the ones meant for coffee and then unscrews the wine, pouring them each a cup. She takes it from him and sips gingerly, wincing at the acidic bite at her tongue.

"God this is awful," she says, coughing. "This better not have cost me too much."

"It's minibar wine," Jesse says. "It's supposed to be awful and overpriced."

She smiles slightly. "I guess."

"So, you really watched all my movies?"

She takes another sip before nodding. "Yeah. I mean, I didn't memorize them or anything."

"Admit it, you caught yourself humming one of the themes."

She grins, shaking her head. "No. I won't admit that. I don't think your ego needs any more stroking."

He laughs. "Fine, but I'm going to take that as a yes."

They spend the rest of the night talking about nothing in particular. It's just voices and words, but both find it comforting. There had always been a certain sense of calm between them, and they settle into it again as the hours pass. She doesn't know when they fall asleep, but she wakes up against him, their bodies stretched out on the bed. His arm is wrapped loosely around her, his face turned toward her. She glances up at his face and studies the familiar features. They are different now – more defined and angled. He was a dorky cute back at Barden, but the years had worked to make him handsome.

"Stop staring at me," he murmurs, eyes drifting open.

"I'm-I'm not."

"Yeah, you were."

She sits up, tugging at the hem of her dress which had ridden up while they slept. The wine they had hours earlier throbbed in her head and she closes her eyes for a moment before standing up.

"You could stay here," Jesse offers, sitting up.

"I think I'm just going to go back to my room," she says, looking for her shoes. She checks the side of the bed twice before she remembers she didn't come with them.

"When's your plane ride back?" he asks.

"Eleven."

He nods. "Mine's at eight."

"Eight," she says, glancing at her watchless wrist. "Well, then you better be getting to bed."

He smiles slightly. "That was the idea before you showed up with a bottle of wine."

She hides her smile with a turn of her head and then says, "I'll see you later, Jesse."

She turns to leave and he asks, "Your phone number still the same?"

She nods, still facing the door. "Yeah."

"Alright then."

She glances back and murmurs, "Alright."

(To be continued...)

A/N:  I wrote this a few years ago as Spykid18 over on fan fiction.net. So, if this reads familiar I am only plagiarizing my younger self! 

[doof-doofblog]

"We're Going To Make Him Pay ... Together!"

New Year Catch Up

(Episodes Commencing Thursday 31st December 2020 - Monday 4th January 2021)

Hello everyone and a huge HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Although it's not the way we've all wanted to start 2021, but let's pray to God that 2021 will be just that little bit better compared to 2020. Personally, I'm happy to see the back end of 2020! Anyway I am now back and I'm going to be following up of the New Year's Eve and New Year's Day episodes! These are ones I've been looking forward to reviewing! But before we jump in, I have a bit of news and a few spoilers in store for you. The first one being that it's been confirmed that there's going to be a new, big, long-running storyline for business woman and longing mother-to-be Ruby Allen! What this new storyline will be is yet to be revealed - either way I'm looking forward to seeing what the soap has in store for her!

Secondly, it has also been confirmed that love will begin to bloom between Lola Pearce and Isaac Baptise! I, personally, am a little bit sceptical, I'm unsure how I feel about these two being together. I mean, can you guys see a romance lasting between these two? Please feel free to tell me what you think, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Now let's get right to it and focus on the episodes with happened over New Year's Eve! Firstly I want to mention what a bloody fantastic actor Danny Dyer is! I am absolutely stunned by how incredible the episode on New Years Eve was!!! At first I was a little confused and shocked as to why Mick was suddenly standing on the roof of the Queen Vic, watching everyone enjoying the New Year celebrations, for a moment I thought I had missed something! But of course it all made sense as the episode continued! Finally after such a long time of battling with his inner emotions, Mick finally took that giant step and called the Samaritans, he finally talked to someone! I found it so so clever the way the episode jumped back and forward between Mick being on the phone, to the events which lead him to make the call. What a lovely surprise to see the return of Danny Hatchard - AKA Lee Carter! But you can sense the atmosphere between them all, Lee has no idea what's been happening between his parents over the past few months! However, it becomes instantly clear to him that something isn't right! He questions his parents as to what is happening and he is absolutely stunned to hear the news when they reveal to him that they're splitting up! But what grabs Lee's attention more than anything, is how Mick isn't fighting for his wife and just letting the affair happen - even when she mentions she's leaving for New Zealand to Nancy, it soon becomes clear to both Mick and Lee that she won't be going alone, plus she'll be taking young Ollie with her! This seems to really shock Mick and he quickly leaves the Cafe! As he rushes to his car, Lee follows and pleads to his Dad to talk to someone, he can see that his Father is not in a good place right now, he's looking lost, depressed, distressed - he even questions whether it's also down to his anxiety?! Later when Lee appears to have left, Linda joins her husband and in the car and questions him as to whether what their son said was true, is he depressed?! Is he ill? She tries to make him open up, but once again it gets her no where and Mick is like a closed book. Linda mentions that she'll be leaving for New Zealand the following day but assures Mick that she'll only be going for 4 weeks! Jumping between the different time lines, Mick gets visibly distressed whilst he's on the phone to "Joe" - almost to the point where he feels another panic attack coming on and he heads outside. Also I just want to mention how fantastic "Joe" is on the line to Mick, I'm not 100% sure whether it's a fellow actor or even if they've brought in someone who actually works with Samaritans to feature for that phone call, but either way - I can't applaud them enough!! Script writers also, incredible!!! You can visibly see how much the soap has worked with the Samaritans to be able do this episode justice!! Another thing I have to mention is the flashbacks that Mick is experiencing whilst on the phone, as he leaves the house and things get more and more intense, we can see visions of Mick's past of him in care, being isolated from other children and of course, Katy "looking after" him. It really got to me a bit, I found this episode very emotional! Oh another thing which I feel is very important to mention, whilst Mick makes his way outside, in the background behind him we can see Kush leaving the Slater household with Arthur in his arms - this is a very vital moment, has Kush actually taken Ruby's offer and advice? Taking her money and fleeing with his son?! As the soap returns its focus on Mick, he looks around at everyone on the Square, his eyes then dart toward the Vic, looking up at the roof - putting the phone down and away from his ear, he just walks ahead - nothing stopping him in his way. He ignores the celebrations, walks into the pub and sneaks upstairs, up and out onto the roof! He brings the phone back to his ear and we can hear "Joe" still trying to get Mick to talk to him, even though Mick feels as if he's ready to end his life and even tells "Joe" he's going to be finishing the call, somehow "Joe" manages to keep Mick on the phone, asking him the important questions, asking him about Katy - as it goes on Mick is getting more and more tearful, he's remembering everything he felt when he was a child, everything comes flooding and eventually everything comes to light. "Joe" asks him - "What did she do, Mick?" and .... I can hear the angels cheering as Mick finally reveals the truth someone "She abused me!" Finally Mick has found the strength to seek help and reveal what's happened to him! I have to say that I am completely blown away by this episode, definitely one of the best EastEnders have ever had! -- Now for the big one, New Year's Day! The first episode of 2021! I've got a feeling this is going to be another emotional one! There are a few things I want to mention but we'll leave the main big story till last! Firstly, let's talk about the Slater's. It's New Year's Day, their plan is to just have a movie day with snacks and goodies for the kids. Only as they're getting prepared, they come to realise that Arthur is missing. Kat and Stacey search the house and then out on the Square, when they notice that Kush's van isn't anywhere to be seen, the panic gets more serious. Eventually they decide to contact Martin and question whether he might have any knowledge to Arthur and Kush's whereabouts. But to their surprise, Martin is shocked to hear about their disappearance just as much as they are. Only, of course, Ruby acts all coy stating the fact that Kush is Arthur's Dad and wouldn't do anything to harm him - but even that doesn't sit right with the Slaters and they begin to panic that Kush might've actually kidnapped Arthur an fled the Square with his son. However, behind her husband's back, and the Slater's back, Ruby contacts Kush and instructs him to carry on with their plan, but interestingly when he thanks her for her help, she takes the pleasure in taking the thanks from him. Deep down, it's clear she's doing this to hurt Stacey, after she interfered in her marriage. But even for Ruby this is an all new low, don't you guys think?! We see that Kush is in a swanky hotel room with his little boy looking quite unhappy, even though Kush is doing this for his son, it looks as if little Arthur isn't happy about being away from his family. With panic getting to the Slaters, they rush to Phil - to see whether he might have some knowledge of Kush's disappearing act. However it instantly becomes clear that Phil has nothing to do with and no knowledge of Kush's whereabouts, considering the fact that Phil needs Kush to appear in court. The only positive outlook that the Slaters can focus on is the fact that Kush and Arthur haven't got their passports, and as Martin states "You can only go so far without a passport!" Only unbeknown to him and the rest of the family, Ruby has sent someone round to Kush's hotel room, providing him with fake passports for himself and his son. Is Kush really going to breech his bail and flee with Arthur? When it comes clear it seem unlikely they're going to find Kush and Arthur, Martin comes home to his wife, and it appears that it all seems to get to him as he begins to tear up - it's true that Martin cares for little Arthur just as much as Kush does! It seems a though Ruby never anticipated her husband getting as upset as he did, the smug look she had earlier in the episode now changes to guilt, how long will she be able to keep this a secret from both her husband and the Slaters?!

During this New Year's Day episode, the majority of the Square seem to be in high spirits, none more so than Stuart! He happily greets his brother on the Square, wishing him and his boyfriend a Happy New Year and Good Riddance to 2020! Only things seem to take a turn for the worse for poor Stuart as he ends up getting arrested, for what - I'm unsure. But once he's down at the station, it comes clear to him that the only reason he's been called in is down to DI Thompson. The look on his face when he comes to realise who's behind is arrest! Although while he's being questioned, it becomes clear to him that something isn't right, they are actually proceeding with an illegal arrest/interrogation. Thompson questions whether he could have Stuart done for bodily harm or attempted murder. Devastatingly, Callum is present as his brother is arrested, and he tries to question his sister-in-law for answers as to whether he's done something illegal recently, but Rainie refuses to give him any information. Later however, when Stuart has been released, he reveals to his brother that he is now out on bail, but also DI Thompson will be looking forward to an altercation with Callum. Needing advice and some help pretty damn quickly now he knows that Thompson will be coming for him once again, and that what he did behind Phil and Ben's back threatening to come to light, Callum takes it upon himself to ask Jack for help, as he's simply got himself in too deep and he's probably the only person who could help him out. 

Elsewhere on the Square, Phil is making sure that Patrick sticks to his agreement in letting him see Raymond. Guilty Patrick has to lie to Denise and make an excuse for him to be leaving the house with Raymond, especially considering the fact she's completely on edge since Lucas's return! Patrick informs her that they're simply going for a work, but in fact he ends up taking the small boy to McKlunky's, where eventually Phil turns up with a football for his son. As much as Patrick is nervous with Phil spending time with boy, Phil seems to really enjoy meeting his son and building a bond with him. However when little Raymond asks who he is, Patrick has to intervene and inform the young boy that he's just a friend of the family. Even though Phil is enjoying his time with his son, something makes me question how long he'll be able to hold up the pretence, how long will it be until he demands Raymond find out who he really is? And most importantly, how will Denise feel when she learns that Patrick has gone behind her back and betrayed her trust? Could she even warm to the idea of Phil spending time with his son, to be fair, Phil is all about family, right?! 

Now the main event! This has been the moment that everyone has been waiting for! After opening up to the Samaritans and coming to the realisation that Katy abused him as a child, Mick is in desperate need to find and talk to Linda. However, when it comes clear that she's not at Max's and nowhere to be seen, instead he takes it upon himself to give Katy a little visit. Now this who section when Mick was at her house was absolutely brilliant. Katy is stunned to see Mick at her front door, and he doesn't hesitate to let himself in as storms past her. This whole confrontation was absolutely brilliant, I felt like cheering Mick on as he confronted Katy about her actions when they were younger, finally claiming that what she did to him was actually abuse! However, she claims that what he's saying is all fantasies and stories he's just made up in his head, completely manipulating him and twisting everything that's being said. Meanwhile, whilst Mick is having this confrontation with Katy, Max and Linda are discussing their plan back on the Square in the Café. He informs her that he's going to be going to town to do some shopping and that if she's ready she should meet him on the Millennium Bridge at 6pm sharp! He mentions how much it'll mean to him, not just for having a new love in his life but a new fresh start with the woman he loves in a completely different country, even though Linda is looking completely unsure, she smiles and states how she couldn't possibly say "No!".

Later, Mick is seen walking through-out Katy's house. He finds himself back in her bedroom and he takes it upon himself to search through her belongings, he eventually finds the old letters he wrote to her when he was a young boy, proclaiming his love for her, but of course being a young boy at that age, he didn't understand. When Katy finds Mick rummaging through her things, she becomes incredibly erratic, informing him to keep away from her things - it's almost sick as it looks as if she's kept trophies of her actions, trophies of her abuse towards Mick. I feel during this scene, the confrontation is absolutely amazing between them both - the acting from both Danny Dyer and Simone Lahbib is incredible! As things take their toll, Mick pushes for Katy to finally admit that Frankie is his daughter, he pushes and pushes and pushes until she eventually screams out "All right!" - Leaving Mick incredibly stunned to hear the truth. Everything finally falls into place! But even then, when he's taking in the information of being the Father of Frankie, Katy once again twists everything, saying if he was to mention it to anyone, even the police she'll say that it was him who raped her, even though I doubt the police would ever believe that story as Mick was just young boy, and she was much older than him! Even so, how low can you even get? Katy is one sick individual! As everything comes to blows, he threatens to tell Linda, but it's at this very moment where Katy begins to panic and attempts to stop him from leaving the house, but it's no good, he pushes his way past and she's left screaming in the hallway, knowing her secret is going to come to light! While Max continues to wait for Linda on the bridge, Mick rushes back to the Square in search of his wife, although he can't seem to find her anywhere, he's shouting for her, pleading for her to still be around. You almost seem to panic, when the scene cuts back to Max on the bridge, you see his face light up and Linda is walking towards him, for one brief moment you think she has turned her back on Mick. But interestingly, Linda informs Max that it's not easy for her to jump up and leave, although she still loves Mick, she feels that their marriage is over, but she can't simply run away. She informs Max that she can't go to New Zealand with him, he's left utterly devastated as tears fall down his cheeks. She apologies and leaves making her way back to Walford. Now this is what absolutely made me cry, finally when Linda comes home, Mick is more than relieved to see his wife hasn't left. They begin to talk ever so slowly, Linda makes herself comfortable and ever so slowly Mick tries his absolute best to explain why he's been behaving differently and why he's been so distant in recent months. He explains that everything seemed to fall apart when Frankie and Katy arrived on the Square and entered his life, he can't seem to grasp the right words but eventually he reveals to Linda that Frankie is in fact his daughter. At first, Linda is absolutely devastated, believing that her husband had cheated on her all those years ago, hiding the fact he already had a child. Poor Mick tries to find the right words to explaining that he didn't know she existed. But when Linda questions if and when he slept with Katy, he admits that he did - but not in the way she thinks, it's then he reveals the true age of Frankie, "She's 30!" At first, this doesn't make any sense to Linda, how can Frankie be 30 years of age? But Mick's eyes begin to tear up again, she looks at him and works out the math, if Frankie is 30, it must mean that she was conceived when Mick was the age of 13 at least, but when Mick reveals he was only 12, her face is in pure shock and she realises EXACTLY what her husband is telling her. She throws her arms around him as he softly weeps on her shoulder. It's at this moment, I almost felt like crying - after so long Mick had finally revealed everything to his wife. This whole scene between Mick and Linda was so emotional, again I not only have to applaud Danny Dyer, but Kellie Bright also! The scene where she blamed herself for sleeping with another man, it's devastating! She asks why she never told him sooner, as she of all people would've understood more than anyone. (Especially after what happened when Dean raped her!) Neither of them are to blame, Katy is the cause of everything! But Mick voices that he couldn't bare to put his wife through something like that. She pleads for her husband to call the police, but Mick doesn't want that! Something tells me he wants to deal with it in his own way, he mentions to his wife he doesn't want the community gossiping about him and whispering things behind his back. The episode ends with them sitting on Arthur's bench in the Square, Linda informs Mick that he will always be her husband and he asks her will she be able to help him and stand by him no matter what his decision will be, without a word she clasps a tight hold of his hand, their fingers entwining. She's going to stand by her husband and hopefully, together they will bring Katy down for her vile, vicious crimes against Mick! Overall an emotional episode! -- The final episode I'll be covering will be yesterday's episode. Things to have slowly quietened down after the events of New Year's. The first thing I'm going to mention though is Callum. After pleading for Jack's help regarding DI Thompson, Callum bumps into Jack whilst on his run. Unfortunately Jack has some pretty bad news for Callum, that there's going to be a meeting with DI Thompson's boss. Callum instantly begins to panic, informing Jack that if his name gets dragged up he'll end up losing Ben and everything he's got. When Callum returns home, everyone in the family home are enjoying karaoke. Ben and Lola play along with their daughter and she sings along to Little Mix's "Shout Out To My Ex!". Little Lexi informs them that they need to come up with another song for 4 people, so Callum can get involved and they do it all as a family. You can see this really touches Callum's heart, as Ben turns around to his boyfriend to join in, Callum makes the excuse that he's got to get ready for work. Callum is visibly worried about losing Ben and the family he's gained. Later on out on the Square, Callum is all ready and heading to work, but Ben catches him before he leaves. He questions whether everything is alright between them, he can sense that there's something bothering his boyfriend, he says that he can talk to him about anything. Callum almost looks as if he's about to respond, only Jack calls him from a distance, he informs Ben that'll catch up with him at home. Jack approaches Callum and informs him that the meeting that was originally planned has now been cancelled, much to Callum's surprise. However Jack then mentions that there's been a change of plan, what on Earth could've changed? Is he still going to help Callum as much as he can?! 

Elsewhere on the Square, the police still seem to be searching for Tina. After her disappearance, Shirley is still going out of her mind with worry about her sister's whereabouts. She informs Sharon that the police are still searching through Tina's belongings. Shirley bangs on the Queen Vic door demanding to confront Ian and for him to stop lying about Tina being his attacker! However it's Sharon or comes out and warns her to stay away. I do feel for Shirley, the poor woman has no idea what's happened to her sister and also has no idea what's going on in her son's life! I worry how she's going to be able to cope once everything is revealed to her. I do feel that these two storylines are also big for Shirley!! She's probably going to feel so much sadness and guilt that I fear she may spiral out of control. What do you guys think?! Even Sharon attempts to apologise to Shirley but gets nowhere, something is telling me that the guilt of Tina taking the rap for Ian's attack is taking it's toll on Sharon. But what's even worse is that later on Gray sits with Shirley, informing her that her sister is safe and she's not worry. How bloody dare he! After what he's done, how can he even sit there and act like he's done nothing?! However it looks as if he panics when Shirley states that she'll be able to relax once Tina has been in touch, and the very fact that she always does eventually. Something tells me that Gray is going to sink even lower and make them think that Tina has been in touch with them. I personally hate it when Shirley thanks him for looking after her family ... Ooooh if only she knew the truth! I can't wait for Gray to get his comeuppance! 

Meanwhile, Stacey is still going out of her mind trying to get in touch with Kush! Eventually she manages to get through on the phone and overhears her son's voice say that they're going on an aeroplane! Kush panics when he notices that Stacey is on the line, she's pleading for him to bring Arthur home, Kush then decides to speak to her and warns her not to call the police, otherwise she'll never seen her son again. With nowhere left to turn, Stacey and Kat speak to Whitney about the possibility of Gray helping them out, she seems to know Gray better than anyone, so if anyone could act fast with the law, he possibly could give them some options. However, Whitney can't seem to understand why they're so frantic, the fact that Kush is Arthur's father and that he would never hurt him, plus Kush isn't some criminal mastermind and there's no way he's put his life, his sons life or his families life at risk, they come to realise that someone must be helping him escape. It's then that Whitney happens to mention, who on Earth would be out to hurt Stacey in such a way? As soon as she says those words, there's only one culprit who they know would be behind it. On the Square, Stacey confronts Ruby, demanding answers about her son's whereabouts. Of course, Ruby acts completely and utterly dumb and acts like she doesn't know a thing whilst her husband tries to defend her. Stacey is almost teary as she informs Martin that Kush has threatened her about her not seeing Arthur again, something really doesn't sit well with Martin. Later on, Martin is gathering all his thoughts as Ruby is trying to console him. He reveals to his wife how much it hurts not knowing where little Arthur is, it becomes clear to Ruby that she has a made a truly big mistake. Eventually she calls Kush up informing him that she can't keep giving him money and that he should return with Arthur, she literally had no idea how much hurt it would cause everyone, especially Martin! However when Kush realises he won't be getting anymore help from Ruby, he seeks help from somewhere else and eventually calls Whitney for her help. Whitney at first refuses informing him that he needs to come home and that Stacey is going out of her mind, but Kush isn't interested and informs her that he owes her a favour and asks her for help. She takes a deep breath and asks him where he is. Is Whitney really going to help Kush escape or is she just going to make him think she's helping and trick him back into returning to Walford with Arthur? 

Another thing I want to mention is Sonia, the first time we see her, she is in the hospital on her own and she appears to be crying to herself. Ash approaches her from behind, in concern for her colleague. Sonia informs her that she's actually been on site for the past 18 hours! We can see in her hand that she's holding something, but what exactly? A pendant? A piece of jewellery? It's hard to make out and I'm a little unsure, but when Ash also asks about what she's holding, she quickly makes an excuse to leave. Back at home, Ian decides to give her a visit after still feeling unwell, she's about to take his blood pressure but Ian being Ian, he's once again waffling on about himself and how his life has changed drastically since his attack and that his anxiety is through the roof. Only when he happens to mention Covid, Sonia informs him that he actually never had the virus and reminds him that people are dying because of the virus. Furious with his selfish words she throws him out before she can carry on with taking his blood pressure. As he leaves, she's left alone again and crying softly to herself. What is troubling Sonia so much? I do think with her being a nurse and tackling this virus could maybe be taking its toll on her mental health, or maybe even her emotions as a whole, has it gotten too much for her? Who knows? Either way, I'm intrigued to see what's got her so worked up. 

Last, but certainly not least, Ian is looking more and more unwell as the days go on, even Kathy has started to notice the change in Ian's health. She's still not convinced that Sharon loves her son and appears to think that she's after something, she voices her concerns to Phil. But even though that we know that Phil knows what Sharon is up to, he can't let anyone else know. She informs Kathy not to interfere and to leave Ian and Sharon to it. We know full well what Sharon is doing to him, but when Phil makes a visit to the pub to see things for himself, he can see how weak and ill Ian is getting. As Ian somehow spills a drink all over the bar, Phil makes his way into the back to confront Sharon. He states that she has gone way too far and that she's crazy to even comprehend poisoning him any further. But Sharon stands her grand and informs him that no matter what it takes, she will get justice for her son, whether he's going to help her or not! Only later on, when Sharon is alone in the cellar, Phil finds her and reveals that he can't simply forgive or forget what Ian did to Dennis, but he fears that Sharon might not be able to carry on on her own, he drops the bombshell that he will help her in bringing Ian down, getting revenge and getting justice for Dennis! 

Wow! I apologise that this post is so long, I've literally been working on it all day! I've really enjoyed catching up and reviewing the episodes I have missed. So much emotion and drama over the past few days, truly EastEnders at its best! I hope you enjoy reading as much as I've enjoyed writing! I'll be back again tomorrow with another post following tonight's episode. Enjoy the rest of your evening folks! Love you all xXx

[latinalesbi]

Why do you think Teri's voice cracked like that ? Especially as well as it did , since that was acting ? It was cracked in Honeymoon when (she) woke up with Lena , but it was nothing like this time around .

I think she lost her voice due to illness or work. It just depends when during the shoot that scene was shot. I think when she raised her voice it was more noticeable.

It reminds of the first wedding episode and in HD you can see a scar on her chin but only on some scenes.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Since Ximena kissed Callie, I would like to see how she feels about it. Did she like it or feel anything ? She didn't seem to not like it but she didn't really react.

Reading the scene, Callie didn’t respond. That doesn’t mean it won’t happen but there are reasons I believe she won’t respond to her feelings. But who knows? I do feel like there’s a bit of replacing the old ladies with young ones. And you know lesbians will respond to that because they are just as ageist as anyone else. And Racist.

Anonymous said:                                                                      wow i can’t believe you know EVERYTHING that happened behind the scenes!!!! you’re just sooooooooo knowledgeable!!!!!! also teri didn’t unfollow the cast you just love drama and anything that proves your stupid points. kinda like donald trump            

I’ll just let this sit here. It speaks for itself. I also lost 2 troll post in a crash and it makes me sad.  Also, lol about Teri. Talk about fake news my friend.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Yeah I saw that too. They directly asked if Teri was in the summer series and he deflected the question. Eek!             

Are they shooting the show right now? Joanna said they are. Maybe they’re going to scatter the stars and only some people are shooting. Who knows. Cierra already said everyone would be there. Hayden is a troll, usually.

Anonymous said:                                                                      While I enjoyed the ending scene in bed, it seemed incomplete. Thoughts?           

I felt like there might have been some cuts. I mean they had really excellent screen time but most of it was apart. So they might have cut their scenes together of course. My biggest problem was how brief it was and the weird angles on it. I think it was to increase the anxiety but it left me wanting.

Anonymous said:                                                                      You said „Teri is shooting“ how do you know that?! And do they not start this week or next week with the 3 episode thing?!            

Joanna said they already did start. It might be that they are shooting all 3 eps concurrently and only some people are working right now.  I mean, I believe Joanna over Hayden. https://twitter.com/JoannaJohnson31/status/953798613703974912

and she also said that the moms would play an important part in those 3 eps so...  https://twitter.com/JoannaJohnson31/status/953828047370600449

I am honestly not worried about it. Teri will be in it.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I mean there was a lot of stef and lena in this episode but not together. Ugh!!  but the last scene tho. Broke my heart. Wish it was longer..             

Yes to all that. If a lesbian can’t get a nice kiss in a birthday episode. I just don’t know. I get Stef was stressed, but lena has been noticing this, it was more important that she make a nice gesture.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Maia is doing damage limitation, which I understand they got called out on their bullshit and are not enjoying the heat. It doesn’t matter when they found out they still blindsided the rest of the cast with the spin off. No one knew. Teri is obviously angry. Why did she unfollow you Maia? As for the episode i adore Stef, Teri was amazing. The scene at the end was beautiful. As for the party, awful! Finally, Callie- dear god is there anything that girl won’t experience, but it is the Calli show.             

That’s exactly it. Damage control. There was a clear blindside. Sherri is to me the fairest person. And she was still tweeting out to renew the fosters in January. Imagine thinking you had a chance when 2 of your cast mates already know it’s done and are making side deals for a spin off. Seems wrong, really wrong.

I want to know, is there anyone who won’t fall for bland ass Callie? So ridiculous.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I know people are praising Mariana for being independent and playing off the three guys at the same time...but actually, I don't think it's right. If a guy was playing me with 3 girls I would be pissed off. You don't need to play 3 guys in order to be a strong independent female             

It’s not my kind of empowerment. There are some behaviors that one shouldn’t imitate, just because those in power behave that way.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I don't understand how out of all the characters to go on the spin off, they choose Aaron?? Like transgender representation is important, but it almost feels like they just want Callie and Aaron together to be "ground breaking" despite it not being a healthy relationship. Like what about Cole??? That would have been so cute. But this whole spin off is such a sell out and it angers me!             

We don’t know for sure but I wouldn’t be surprised. Aaron is an ass. He is a canonnical controlling bf. Girls beware and stay away from guys like that. Cole would have been sooo much better.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I wish AJ had more of a part in Ximena's storyline. He was a part of it in the first half of the season as he attended one of the protests and supported Callie and Ximena in the prom episode, and the episode after that. But all of a sudden he's not a part of it and Aaron's taking his place. I have a feeling it's because they're preparing for AJ to leave, since Tom is living in England. But I like it when AJ is a part of it because his interest always seems more genuine than Aaron's.             

I think the actor chose to go with a surer type of envirornment but unfortunately we lost out. AJ should be the one involved. Aj always got callie, plus he gets that foster kid side of her.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Im starting to feel like jude will be the third star. Do u think David sold them out too? I hope not becuse i really like his personality.             

I don’t think any star signing now would be selling out. The part that hurts is that signing that spin off played directly into cancellation and we just can’t know the timing. Plus, it was done behind people’s back. That’s the selling out and betrayal. The show is happening now, no matter who else participates. So either of these two joining would not really be selling out. I wouldn’t like them for doing it, but it’s not the level of betrayal the 2 girls showed.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Clearly Stef's blow up at Jenna has to do with guilt about stupid Mike right? I don't care about that storyline one bit. Fuck Mike and that guilt. Ugh I hate this show so much.             

Yep, that’s exactly part of it. It’s also her job, that job is stress inducing. It’s too much for Stef, she has too much heart. With Lena making more money, maybe she’ll go back to being a beat cop. or maybe she can work in homicide. Stef is too much of a mom to stay in sex trafficking.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Of course Sherri and Teri work together the best but some of Maia best acting is with Teri and Sherri. Sadly we don’t really get that anymore.             

Mariana/Lena ain’t bad either.

Anonymous said:                                                                      The two older women of the cast are now out of work whilst the young folk get to continue, of course many of us are upset. They’ve been dumped without a second thought, when they were and still are the heartbeat of the show. If people do not like the comments on your page, simple just don’t come on here. Many of us are grateful to you that we can vent somewhere.             

Thank you. I am glad it’s useful and cathartic. I am not sure why they would dump these wonderful women. And I am not sure how they can go back on, there’s no the fosters without Sherri and Teri. And people can just accept that and not look back. Woo hoo, people have no integrity. I hold people to their word, even when it’s hard (I sound like Lena).

Anonymous said:                                                                      Why did Teri unfollow you Bradley, Peter, Cierra, Maia? That should be the question they get asked until the answer. Won’t be able to spin that one!!             

I wouldn’t want more drama for Teri. I think we all know what it means. And they know what it means. The ones that can’t are the ones that think everything is honky dory. You see I have someone who is still in denial about this fact. Teri unfollowed these people, this is a fact.

Anonymous said:                                                                      God it’s sad it’s all ending like this. Bradley doesn’t give a shit. Peter and Joanna I think do, I hope. As for the two girls, I hope someone asks them about Sherri and Teri. Make them address it. I’ve no problem them furthering their careers but they negotiated behind the backs of their fellow cast members, and now instead of being sensitive to the fans feelings they are talking up their new show before the old one, that made them is even over! That’s what I’m pissed about!           

Those girls are all about how stef and lena are their favorite and they have their favorite scenes. Bullshit. And yes, the worst thing is that they haven’t even buried the show and they’re already pissing on it. Every single promo from now on will be about Callie or Mariana. It’s gross. They had to take them out of the artwork for the show. Why? Just be hurtful.

Anonymous said:                                                                      okay, so i just happened to be clicking through channels and inadvertently landed on the movie that's playing on ff right now - the fosters is next. guess what? they've played two commercials for the show and both of them were *old* promos for the season premiere, saying "the farewell season begins tonight". they can't even be bothered to play the right commercial for tonight's episode, apparently. they aren't even pretending to try anymore.             

That’s really sad. They can’t bother to pay an editor to put some non spoilery scenes together.

[thefragileblackdahlia]

Metamorphosis: Part four

Chapter Summary: Sam and Dean find that a family man is turning into a flesh-eating monster, and they argue about killing him. Ariel makes a big decision that leaves her crippled and alone.

Pairing(s): Eventual Dean x Archangel!OFC

Warning(s): Fluff, Heavy Angst, Blood, Nudity, Self-loathing, Kissing, Typical Supernatural violence, Mild Language

A/N: Here is an episode with some Sam content for those that really like Sam. I never really liked the Ruby storyline, but anyways here you go. Its a bit wonky everything will be explained in flashbacks, I promise. Kinder surprise egg.

Beta’d by no one

Word count: 11,308

      ◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇

Sam went out for research.

A loud thud came from across the room. With their hunter instincts, Travis and Dean reached for their guns and aimed it from where the noise originated. Dean put out a hand, signaling Travis to wait as he investigated the sound.

A mop of red hair came up from between beds, followed by a bloodied grimace with slices on it.

It was Ariel.

Blood seeped from the thousands of cuts on her stripped body. She dipped in and out of consciousness. The ginger tried her best to steady herself by using the bed as support.

"Dean.." Ariel whimpered softly before her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her knees buckled, sending a jolt of pain through her nervous system.

Dean abandoned his gun almost instantaneously and dived for the archangel. He caught her just before she hit the floor.

He hauled her into his arms and sat on the bed with her form limp between his legs. It was a lewd position, but at this moment, Dean cared little about that. The human gingerly caressed her bloodied face, smoothing down her hair in the process.

"Oh, Red..." He whispered sadly. Dean felt like it was his fault. He should have immediately gone to help her. His eyes roamed every part of her naked form, not to be a pervert but to see if she had any significant injuries. 'Fallen' was freshly carved deep on her collar bone, along with many other deep cuts. One particular injury stood out; it was a symbol cut deep into her thigh. It looked self-inflicted.

Why wasn't she healing? Dean remembered when he stabbed her, and she recovered from that almost immediately. So, what could be preventing her?

Dean never tore his eyes away from her as he removed his navy-blue flannel with the notion of covering her up. Dean carefully lifted her arm, which resulted in a small moan from Ariel, but he proceeded. He slid her arm into the sleeves of the flannel and closed it momentarily.

Her savior let out a low grunt as he tossed her arm over his shoulder, then lifted her into the bridal position. He gently lowered her on his bed and began buttoning the shirt; It stopped at her mid-thigh. Dean let out a hard sigh but never looked away from her.

"What the hell?!" Travis exclaimed as he still has his gun trained on the motionless woman. "What just happened?" He gruffed.

"Focus on the case." Dean replied shortly as he delicately sat on the edge of his bed, still watching Ariel.

Travis scoffed and squeezed his gun. "You tell me what the hell she is, or I'll shoot her myself." He drawled.

Dean finally looked away from the archangel on the bed to look at Travis. He had a calm smile on his lips, but it never reached his eyes. The righteous man pushed himself off the bed and slowly stepped to the man who just threatened a defenseless woman.

"If you touch her or so happen to even look at her. You'll be dead before you hit the ground. You understand me?" Dean sneered at the man standing in front of him.

Travis squinted his eyes, challenging Dean, which resulted in Dean snatching the gun away and aiming it at Travis's forehead.

"Focus on the case." Dean commanded, and begrudgingly sat at the table. He picked up his gas can and resumed his work.

. . .

Dean watched Ariel's chest rise and fall as he sat tinkering with the gas can nozzle, deep in thought. She looked peaceful but also plagued with sorrow. Occasionally a low groan came from her, and of course, Dean immediately paused what he was doing to examine her.

Travis was the one to speak first. "It must be important to you...threatening me like that." His eyes darted from the gas can, nozzle to Dean's stoic face.

That comment made Dean frown. Ariel was not an It. She was an archangel. Dean reached for the flamethrower and flicked it on, then waved the flame over the nozzle. "So, fire, huh?"

"The only way I found to kill these bastards; deep-fry 'em." Travis peeped at Dean.

Dean clutched the rag on the table and wiped off the nozzle as he spoke. "Well, that's gonna be... horrible. Is that what you did to Jack's dad?"

"Uh-huh-"

Their talk was cut short by the sound of the doorknob twisting. As Sam entered, his gaze immediately fell on the unmoving woman, but he chose not to mention it. His grip tightened on the papers in his hand, and he closed the door.

"Not wasting any time, are you?" Sam was belaboring the obvious.

"None to waste." Travis gruffed. "The guy hulks out, we won't be finding bodies, just remains."

Sam sat down on the bed Ariel was resting on, immediately catching Dean's attention. Dean eyed him carefully, his hands still working on the can. Sam noticed this and held his hands up toward his brother, who seemed way to protective for someone who only talked to the angel twice.

"He's been that way since that thing just appeared out of nowhere. Won't tell me what it is." Travis drawled.

Sam furrowed his brows and looked to his brother, who donned a stoic expression. He watched his brother's jaw clench at the words 'thing' and 'it,' bothered.

Sam took that into account. "What if he doesn't hulk out? I did a little homework. Uh, I've been checking out the lore on rougarous."

Travis took this as an insult. "What? My 30 years of experience not good enough for you?" The aged hunter lifted a cup of coffee to his lips and sipped while eyeing Sam.

"What?" Samuel chuckled. "No. No, I- I just wanted to be prepared. I mean, not that you didn't..."

Dean picked up on his brother's uneasiness. "Sam loves research." He joked. "He does. He keeps it under his mattress right next to his KY. It's a sickness." He flashed a smile at his younger brother. "It is."

Sam just shook his head. "Look, everything you said checked out, of course, but uh. I found a couple of interesting stories about people who have this rougarou gene or whatever. See, they start to turn, but they never take the final step."

"Really?" Dean questioned.

This reaction made Sam continue. "See, if they never eat human flesh, they don't fully transform."

"So what? Go vegan, stay human?" Dean seemed genuinely interested in not deep-frying a person.

Sam appeared hopeful. "Basically, or in this case, eat a lot of raw meat, just not--"

"Long pig." Dean ended with a dorky grin. He glanced over to Travis, who was just listening to the conversation.

"Good on you for the due diligence, Sam." Travis derided as he stood to his feet and continued. "But those are fairytales." He drawled while shuffling over to the kitchenette and pouring himself another cup of coffee. Travis pivoted on his heel and faced the boys. "Fact is," He sipped his coffee and resumed. "Every rougarou I ever saw or heard of...took that bite."

Sam immediately took a defensive stance and stood to his feet. "Okay, well, that doesn't mean that Jack will."

Dean's olive eyes darted between the two as he also stood. He could sense an argument brewing.

Travis sipped his coffee. "So what do we do? Sit and hope and wait for a body count?" He jeered.

"No, we talk to him. Explain what's happening. That way, he can fight it." Sam confuted.

"Fight it?" Travis laughed at the notion. "Are you kidding me? You ever been really hungry?"

Dean hadn't been paying much attention to the debate, but once Travis asked that question, he was all ears. He gripped the papers in his hands and looked up at the man.

"I mean, haven't-eaten-in-days hungry?" Travis added.

"Yeah." Dean replied quickly.

Travis took this as an opportunity to continue. "Yeah, right then. So somebody slaps a big, juicy, sirloin in front of you, you walking away?"

Dean thought for a moment at the scenario and then raised his brows as he turned to face Sam, who worn an upset expression.

"That's what we are to him now, meat on legs. I'm sorry. I'm sure he's a stand-up guy, but it's pure base instinct. Everything in nature's gotta eat. You think he can stop himself 'cause he's nice?" Travis drawled.

Sam's serious expression never wavered as he stared Travis dead in the eye as he spoke slow and precise. "I don't know. But we're not gonna kill him unless he does something to get killed for." Once he finished, he could barely keep a steady breath. He had to excuse himself from the room.

Dean and Travis exchanged looks of awe and confusion.

"What's wrong with your brother?" Travis questioned.

"Don't get me started." Dean just rolled his eyes and turned to go sit down by Ariel.

Before they left, Dean carried the woman to the bathroom and started the bath. At some point, he messaged Sam to tell him to pick up some clothes for Ariel.

Eventually, the angel stirred awake.

Dean leaned against the wall in front of the sink, his gaze fixed on her cloudy eyes. It was like someone had sucked the joy out of her.

"Hey," Ariel breathed.

Dean smiled faintly. "Wanna tell me why you fought a cheese grater and lost?"

The archangel looked to the man in confusion. "I didn't fight a cheese grater. Half of my grace was extracted, and then I was tortured for a day." Ariel murmured, pain apparent in her voice. She perched herself on the sink, her feet dangling inches above the floor like a small child.

"Anything we should worry about? No one's following you or anything?" Dean questioned.

"Nothing to worry about." She lied.

The atmosphere in the bathroom bounced between sexual tension and awkwardness. It had been a couple days since Dean actually saw Ariel with his own eyes, not including their dream encounters. He stared at the defeated woman and contemplated if he should hug her not. They never hugged before.

"You're a horrible a liar, Y'know that?" Dean chuckled and pushed himself from the wall and closer to the redhead.

"I am not, trust me." Ariel mumbled as she averted her eyes toward the door. "Where's Sam?"

Her attempt to evade the topic did not go unnoticed by Dean. He raised a brow at her question and decided not to answer it and instead pose his own question. "Why were you naked?"

Ariel scoffed and looked down at the flannel she was now wearing. "Was my nude figure making you uncomfortable, human? My captor felt it was necessary." She put hard emphasis on the word captor.

Dean grew silent as he thought about his own time in hell, being tortured, and having to live through the pain of being torn apart and put together again. His body stilled, and his breathing shortened. He couldn't help it, disassociating himself and caving in.

"I know," Ariel whispered softly to the panic induced hunter. Her voice felt like warm blankets you first take out of the dryer on a cold winter day. He could listen to her talk for hours and not get sick of it. A buzzing behind his ears pulled him out of his deep thoughts.

"Know what?" He gruffed, trying his best to keep on his hard exterior facade. Of course, Dean knew exactly what she was referring to, but he just wasn't ready to think about hell. He felt better pretending it didn't happen was much better than admitting it and it being true.

"About what happened in Hell..." She answered simply. Ariel held out her hand for him to take, but he pushed it away. He held a stoic expression on his face. "Dean," Ariel cooed, attempting to comfort him best she could from a distance.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Dean choked out, keeping his eyes on his own reflection behind her head. How much did she know, and if she knew, then why did he deserve to be saved?

Ariel observed his body language, he was panicking. His hard expression, the clenched jaw, and his eyes screaming help. "You remind me of someone I knew long ago...When I visited earth. He and his brother were plagued with many problems just like you." The angel's eyes looked off into the distance as she reminisced about old times. "He was a gentle soul...but then darkness overwhelmed him. He was no longer the man, I knew." She added.

Dean furrowed his brows and finally looked her in the eyes when he addressed her. "Did you try and save him too?"

That question made Ariel smile. "Yes...but he pushed me away."

Dean folded his arms over his chest and gave her a slight nod. He stored this information deep in his brain, perhaps it would be needed at a much later date. "What was his name?"

"Cain." She mumbled.

The green-eyed beauty pursed his lips. "Wow, you must be very old."

Ariel snorted at his observation. "Yes, well, I was made after creation." She teased.

Dean's eyes lit up as her laughter filled the air, cutting through the tension that remained. If he could make her laugh all the time, he would. "Well, I should get out of your hair."

"Oh, yeah, okay." To be honest, She really didn't want him to leave, but she knew that if he watched her bathe, erotic human things would ensue. "Could you help me down from the sink?"

Fuck. Dean was 100% sure he wasn't ready to touch her or make any kind of physical contact. The constant buzzing in his ears urged him to make contact with her any way possible, but he was stubborn and skeptic. Fuck it. The hunter slowly advanced toward the injured angel and hesitantly held out his hands.

"You remind me so much of them..." Ariel whispered as her fingertips grazed his jawline. It was apparent Dean had no idea who she was referring to, but that didn't matter. She shut her eyes once Dean nestled himself between her legs. Ariel furrowed her eyebrows as the heat pooled between her legs, and a tight sensation filled her stomach.

She had no idea her vessel would react in such a way, she was never on earth long enough to feel the intense passion humans shared.

Dean parted his lips and withdrew a sharp breath as his fingers finally grazed over her thigh. The hunter's calloused fingers clasped around the woman's hips, digging into the skin. He almost forgot that she didn't have anything on under the shirt, he cursed himself.

The buzzing grew crescendoed behind their ears, the closer they became.

Dean squeezed the angel's hips as he pulled her close to him. It was almost instinctive for her to wrap her legs around his waist. Ariel pressed herself to the human, tossing her arms over his shoulders and pulling his face to hers.

"Dean?" A voice came from outside the bathroom. Dean stumbled back and finally let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. They could never become one no matter how hard they tried, which infuriated him. Dean cleared his throat and hurriedly left the space.

. . .

(Ariel's hunting outfit)

When Sam came back to the motel, finding Travis alone and sitting at the table with a suspicious look on his face. "Dean?"

The hazel-eyed hunter could hear a small thud emanate from behind the bathroom door. The sound made his head whip over to the door. His brother wasn't doing anything he shouldn't; he was just helping her, right? Sam unpacked the shopping bag.

Dean exited the bathroom with a flustered expression. "Ariel is- uh, awake now.." He mumbled to Sam before hustling over to the kitchenette and gulping down the rest of his beer.

Sam's eyes darted over to the bathroom door as a tiny figure emerged. Her minor injuries vanished, except for the large 'Fallen.' Seeing that word on her made him angry, and he swore to himself that whoever was the culprit would wish they were dead sooner. No one should be treated that way.

Ariel bestowed a grimace expression as her eyes examined the three men. She said nothing as she took the clothes and undergarments from Sam.

After twenty minutes had passed, Ariel stepped from the lavatory. Her hair was messy and pushed back; the ends also flipped to reflect a 70s hairstyle. She sported a tan, corduroy jacket over a black long-sleeved shirt. On her lower half, a pair of snug-fit, bell-bottomed, denim jeans accompanied by heeled, dark-brown, combat boots. She made sure to tuck in her shirt; it seemed to look better on her curvaceous physique.

All eyes were on her.

Dean jealously cleared his throat, "Alright, let's roll."

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