#I mean that was my grandpa. and he's been my favorite forever (and not to be stuck up but I am pretty sure I was his favorite too)

[girlscience]

I'm glad I was here, and I know he wouldn't have wanted to stay like that long, and I know he went while everyone was laughing and talking in the kitchen like he would have wanted, but god I'm selfish. I want 100 more sits on the porch swing and 100 more trailhand rides and 100 more fences to fix and 100 more brush piles to burn.

[dogs2shouldvote]

during my latest relisten of taz balance, i recorded every line i found even the slightest bit funny with zero context, not even who said it (though some are pretty obvious). here’s all my favorites!!

“i’m probably studying.. my cantrips”

“just say mastrubating, dad”

“don’t come in mom i’m studying my canteips!!”

.

“yeah you’ll do any dumb shit”

.

“it’s like a bag of holding! but for.. ass.”

.

“do we know how much damage we did to him?”

“six damage, you said it out loud with your mouth.”

.

“it should be in the player’s handbook! get your salty snack to enjoy while you play dnd”

.

“my grandpa says it’s rude to whisper. especially on a train!”

.

“i’m not going to go toe to toe with a crab while youre armed with a terrible scottish accent and travis doesn’t even have his sheild. i’m out! … did i say travis? i mean leman kessler.”

“nope! that was wrong all the way around.”

.

“i’m cosplaying taako right now, as a stupid man.”

.

“who’s just rolling dice? who is doing secret checks that i don’t know about?”

.

“i always waste my 20’s on perception checks. like i give a shit.”

.

“it’s completely conceivable he would have a name tag.”

“IN A GANG?”

.

“like a pelt??? like a bramble*pelt*?????”

.

“is there a math check? what are you talking about?”

“yeah it’s your fucking brain. you use your brain to add numbers together”

“16”

“what are you fucking doing??”

.

“griffin i love you youre my brother. but if my skill called history doesn’t literally help me with history trivia questions in a category called history what are we FUCKING doing here??”

.

“can i ask you a question? are you guys mean to everyone?”

.

“fus-ro-over dere”

.

“that one was actually a badass bernie sanders”

.

“hey thug! what’s your name? i’m about to tentacle your dick.”

.

“a d6 is like some dice ass dice. that’s some monopoly shit.”

.

“i thought you were saying merle, it’s his bread and his body, take 2d6 healing points”

.

“you two remind me of something… you remind me of the babe! and then i throw the glass sphere at them.”

.

“make a constitution saving throw to see if you can eat this fucking rock with your mouth.”

.

“dungeons and dragons is a. great game.”

.

“my name is magnus burnsides”

“marchins burchens”

.

“magnus would not say that. however, travis would.”

.

“can we please not talk about chekhov’s bush?”

.

“we’ve got a ball, a sack, and a tool!”

“everything is gross here in dnd.”

.

“only losers smoke, isaac.”

“i give isaac an hour long lecture about the dangers of smoking.”

.

“i’m just gonna put my mouth down there and go buck wild”

.

“there’s a lot of go cart tracks called the adventure zone and i’ve been working with my lawyer to shut them all down forever”

.

“does taako fish?”

“yeah taako fishes.”

.

“a rock hard-“

*justin, clint, and travis laugh*

“come ON, *really*?”

.

“taako rushes in!”

“what! magnus follows him.”

“merle’s good out here!”

“WHAT is going on?”

.

“how do you not have a d6 it comes with every board game”

“my daughter-“

“eats them for power???”

.

“uhhh how much health do you have.”

“im not gonna tell you.”

.

“let’s see… i am going to hurt jenkins. with a magical spell.”

.

“this is about to become the taako show starring taako.”

.

“BLUFF FUCKING BLUFF O’CLOCK?? WHAT IS THIS, HALF PAST PERSUASION TIME??”

.

“i’m not laughing in game” *justin fucking loses it*

.

“she’s the best at burning shit ever.”

.

“traaav griffin got to do his show for so long and now he’s gonna destroy yours.”

.

“fucking lup finds like. a gun.”

.

“for sure, keep it sleazy. we’re out, bye!”

.

“i have to believe…. i’m gonna get those fifteen dollars back from greg fucking grimaldis”

.

“based on the rules of the game, dad… you die.”

.

“dad’s making a jerk off motion at me”

.

“don’t play the pennywise card like you ALWAYS try to”

.

“should i talk slower so that everybody who has been complaining about us not playing dnd has time to nut?”

.

“i am a wizard. my name is taako. and i am pretty well fucked.”

.

“yeah i’ve got cumin who do you think i am?”

.

“hear that, babe? we’re *legends*”

.

“i’m clint mcelroy and i played merle hightower-“

“nope”

[xo-zozo]

my ranking of tig characters+explanations

jameson hawthorne. he’s just pookie (but guess what… i have more reasons than just that for liking him 😨) so first of all, he’s hilarious… like that has to count for something, he’s also hot so yk but besides that, he cares so much for the people that he loves and he’s just sndhdjhdhd anyway yeah. he’s like anything anyone could want and he’s a consent king (unlike some people) and like ik hes had his moments of treating avery like a game but yk if we can say grayson is the way he is because of emily and stuff i think we can also say that for jameson (also the fact that he was like bullied by his grandpa…) and yet he still manages to be night to people

avery grambs. she’s a really good fem mc and i think that jlb did a really good job of making her someone that people can relate to and making her normal. she’s smart and she’s kinda just trying her best and i love that for her

xander hawthorne. buddy is so funny like he’s also who i feel like i would be the most likely to be friends with/date irl. like the book BOUQUET?? he’s super nice and he likes scones AND he’s smart what nots to like

gigi grayson. me and her are literally the same person tbh like i actually love her so much and i feel like we would be really good friends irl because she’s such a cutie patootie

max liu. she also reminds me of myself… like the strict parents, the personality and the inability to curse is so me tbh. ik people find her annoying but i like her so wtv

libby grambs. i think everyone loves her… the way that she’s managed to stay so positive when she’s been through so much is like incredible to be tbh and she can bake so

nash hawthorne. he’s really great and all but like we don’t get to see much of him but i still love him fr

savannah grayson. she’s a baddie and i love her but again we just haven’t seen enough of her for me to like LOVEEE her if you know what i mean

rebeca laughlin. she’s nice and stuff but like at the same time sometimes she was a little bit annoying and made me mad… like the way she was always clinging to thea annoyed by yk 😭😭

thea calligaris. never liked her that much?? like she was better at the end but she was so mean to avery for like no reason and it annoyed me

grayson hawthorne. VERY strong feelings on him as most of you know but my main points are that he’s dull and people only like him because “he’s pookie” and blonde so it’s like he was so overhyped to be a gentleman and a “golden retriever” that when i actually read the book and he only made like five appearances a book to be mean to avery and then kiss her on live tv (when there were many other ways to make her shut up btw) and then yeah he was also just so caught up on emily and every time he said “evie” it made me wanna throw up. and then um also when he acted like he was better than avery because he grew up rich was 🤔🤔 and um the way he was granddaddy’s favorite child and still managed to like make that about how horrible his life is 😭😭 and yeah i would be upset too if my inheritance was taken by some random girl but GOD DANG. you don’t just going around accusing people like that

eve blake. BRUH. NO ONE LIKES HER I DONY EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN

anyway this took forever don’t cancel me bye 😻

[flandrepudding]

doll collection post

Hi guyz!! so somebody asked me to post my doll collection a while back and I put it off because i'm trying to rearrange my setup but its taking much longer than expected due to irl stuff.

But I dont wanna wait anymore! Feel free to just scroll through the pictures, you don't have to read the commentary if you don't want to. In fact you don't have to scroll through any of this at all. I wrote a lot because I am severely neurodivergent. Having a genuine blogging moment rn.

I have been waiting forever for an excuse to post my collection!! I was so happy someone suggested I do so.

I don't have a lot of room for everybody! Everyone is scattered around my room, but I try my best to display them nicely...

My G1 collection is moderately sized, these dolls are expensive and difficult to find. There are so many more I want, like Dead Tired Lagoona or Sweet 1600 Draculaura to go with my Sweet 1600 Clawdeen...sigh. But it just keeps getting harder! I am actually content with stopping my G1 collecting hunt for now and instead focusing on G3... Many of these dolls are from my dear friends, especially Leo and Raven (hi guyz!). Without my friends, I would only have three of these dolls... I am so lucky to be so loved!!!

I don't have many bratz that are in good enough shape to be on display. I really grew up on bratz rather than monster high... but again...these dolls get expensive! Roxxi was always a favorite of mine and a crush! Growing up, I was the type of kid who almost exclusively wanted one brat though. Yasmin. Not Cloe, Jade, or Sasha. I was devoted to collecting Yasmin because she looked similar to me. In retrospect, I really wish I had gotten more of the other girls...I do have some...though their numbers pale in comparison to the Yasmin army.

The ball-jointed doll is my most expensive doll and my largest doll (she is fucking ginormous). Even when buying her at half the original price (great deal from a great friend) she was hardly affordable.

I bought her because I plan on customizing her to be Flandre Scarlet, my ultimate comfort character! I've always dreamed of having a doll of Flan. SO why not make one myself? I've had her for months but am still too scared to cut that beautiful hair off...I'm no good at cutting wigs/hair in general. I did install her red eyes myself which I've never done before as this is my first and probably last bjd! She is gorgeous but I would consider these dolls luxury items... VERY EXPENSIVE.

(idk why the exposure is so high on these, sorry!! >_<;)

I am so happy to have the coffin bean playset!! I think it was a really good idea to get it. but I am so sad because I have hardly any room for it! So It's sitting on my dresser in front of a giant mirror so please excuse the poor editing I did to obscure the reflection of me and my living space lol...

I gave my Twyla low pigtails, though they aren't very visible, and my Clawdeen braids! I think Clawdeen looks super cute this way tbh I tried curling her hair again and again and again but the curls always fell out (I dont have much experience)...but honestly... I think I like this look even better ^_^. You can see her ears so well this way.

This Clawdeen is basically my holy grail and it was gifted to me by Leo, Leo if you're reading this I hope you know you are basically Jesus.

not to get deep but the OMG doll next to her is special to me because it is one of the last gifts I got from my late Grandpa. He took me to target and when I said I liked the doll, no questions asked, he bought her for me. Didn't give me shit for liking dolls at my big age. He simply got her for me because she made me happy, and he wants me to be happy. Dolls can mean so much. Again, I am so lucky to be so loved!!! >:D

I have this gorgeous Draculaura just chilling next to my jewelry cuz I have nowhere else to put her and honestly she is gorgeous and should stand alone.

Here I have the pride Bratz next to my bed!!! They mean so much to me, as I said earlier I had a crush on Roxxi. To see she's a canon lesbian now is so incredible!! And Nevra, her girlfriend, is beautiful! They are so cute together... they are never leaving that box though. This was actually the first doll/set of dolls where I fully understood why people are content leaving dolls in their boxes. I love to play with my dolls so much... but I could never play with these two!! If anything happened to them I would lose my mind.

Now... you're probably thinking......where the hell is Lagoona?!?! Do you not have one despite loving her this much? Of course I have a Lagoona. I AM GROWING AN ARMY!!!!!!

I really, really love Lagoona...I want to get every Lagoona doll I possibly can. Isn't she so cute! I relate to her character in the cartoon a lot too... her life at home, her difficulties speaking up when she is sad or angry, her sporty personality, etc etc... She has quickly claimed her spot as biggest comfort character #2. I included many pictures because I simply cannot pick one, she is flawless. You might recognize the Lagoona on the left, I drew her in that exact pose recently!!

I have her army on my desk, giving me the strength I need to get through my work... like Homer Simpson with his pictures of baby Maggie at his work. I get endless inspiration and motivation from Lagoona!!!

And here is the Flandre shrine bonus... I adore her!! I also have finally ordered a fumo flan that should arrive in august around my birthday eeek!!!

Anyways that is my collection. It's been many years in the making, though it's almost doubled since monster high G3 released... Mattel truly has me by the balls right now. If you read any of this, thank you. I put a lot of time into making this post, and it was really fun. I feel like a real blogger right now.

I really really enjoy dolls and talking about them. So I will happily do so anytime I get the chance!!! Will probably do an update once I finally install some more shelves and move stuff around <3

[spidercookie18]

I've had this idea in my head that Paul uses M&M tubes to keep his joints in! They're perfect, they start out having candy AND they're air tight! If you can make anything out of that for the love of all that lives, you gotta.

Summary: Paul is a fiend, and makes it grandpa Emerson's problem Word Count: 2.5k

Great ask! I love this one a lot, you’re gonna get a crack response, but it’s a good response. Cause I’m smoking a crack pipe full of these fruity little bitches!

So, I’ve been toying with the idea of the boys going to COSTCO; hear me out. Any TLB AU where everyone survives, means Lucy will take the boys in; no if’s and’s or buts about it. She is the best 80’s mom ever, she’s for sure adopting them. Which makes the whole David x Michael thing weird bc they would be…stepbrothers? Whatever, vampire relationships are complicated. She would also have to be feeding like 10 people. Hold on, lets actually count. It’s the boys, that’s 4 + Lucy, Sam, Michael, Grandpa E, another 4, then Star, and Laddie, which is 2 AND maybe Max, and the Frog brothers… depending on how that goes. Anyways, that’s still at LEAST 10 mouths to feed.

So, Lucy, being the mom that she is, would get a COSTCO membership to get all the things that her new, big family would need. Now, you’re probably wondering, “Ari, where the fuck are you going with this?”

WELL

Lucy would get a COSTCO card so she could get these rambunctious fuckers what they need. Max would foot the bill, and everyone would be ‘happy’ about it and shut up forever.  (FYI, Costco in the 90’s looked more like a Home Depot, which I hate).

Lucy notices, IMMEDIATELY that her new sons have some interesting snack choices to say the least.

David is waaay too into eggs, to the point where she doesn’t know if he’s even eating them, or if he’s just hiding them somewhere. Marko goes through wheels of cheese like they’re apples. Dwayne likes… pickled fish and marshmallows. And Paul… well, she’s concerned for all of them, but she’s most concerned for Paul.

He’s quickly becoming her favorite. He always helps with chores, even if he doesn’t want to.  He changes light bulbs for her, even catches and releases the bugs that get in the house for her. Sure, he’s screaming and yelling the whole time it takes him to get the damn bug outside, but it’s the thought that counts. He's a mama’s boy through and through.

Lucy started worrying for him though, the second she noticed he would go through candy so quickly.  And not just go through candy, he would go through the damn candy. Paul could eat a whole box of candy, within a few minutes. When she got trick or treat candy for one Halloween, Paul went through several hundreds of dollars’ worth of candy within a few hours. Specifically, she noticed, he would tear through the mini m&m tubes like nobodys business.

Which, if you asked Paul, he’d say it really was, “nobody’s business.”

She would buy the giant COSTCO boxes that had 24 tubes and he would just walk off with the whole box. After he’d done that three or four times, she brought it up to David.

Lucy: I’m worried that Paul is… going to make himself sick.

David: *Leaning against the kitchen counter* We’ve been worrying about that for a lot longer than you have, he’s just like that.

Lucy: No, I mean, he keeps stealing these… little… *gestures with her hands* tubes of candy and I don’t know what he’s doing with them.

David: Oh, *rubs his chin* well that would be concerning… if it wasn’t Paul.

Lucy: Can you just make sure he’s not eating all that candy, can you boys process sugar fine like that?

David: *shrugs*

Michael: *walks into the kitchen, and grabs something from the fridge*

Lucy: OH, oh, Michael, *waving her hands* tell David about the thing.

Michael: *closes the fridge* Oh, no, not this again. *To David* Is she bothering you with this? *To Lucy, pointing with the soda bottle* Are you bothering him with this?

David: *snorts* This is a real hot button issue, eh?

Lucy: I’m worried about him, is no one else worried about him?

Michael: He’s a weird guy, mom. He’s just like that.

Lucy: But-

Michael: Mom if it’s that big of a deal why don’t you ask him about it?

Lucy: I TRY. But every time I try to ask him about it, he bolts. And, *pointing at Michael and David* with all that damn candy, I might add.

David: *laughing* Yeaah, that sounds like Paul.

Michael: Don’t encourage her.

Lucy: *glares at Michael*

David: Listen Ms. E, I wouldn’t worry about it making him sick. But if it means that much to ya, I’ll talk to him about it.

Lucy: Thank you, David, *pats his back*

David: *already halfway out the room* okay byeeeeeeeeee

What lucy didn’t know, was while, yes, Paul was a fiend for sugar, he was hoarding the m&m tubes for a much more nefarious reason.

Paul was like a pack rat. Step one foot into the cave, and you’d think it was just a mangled mess of shit. But, if you looked closely, you’d notice all the little things hidden away.

Paul had been, for the last several months, eating, emptying, and refilling the plastic, airtight containers with grandpa E’s marijuana. He had been sneakily snatching the sticky green buds in the middle of the night and stashing them away for safe smoking.

Albeit, not as sneaky as he thought. Cause, on more than one occasion, grandpa E had been waiting outside in the garden with the spray hose for Paul. Whenever Paul would slosh into the cave the boys knew he got hosed again, and they’d laugh at his ass.

But, Paul, the ever persistent, learned grandpa E’s habits, and how to better sneak the weed away undetected. He’d crawl on his belly across the roof of the house with a bag slung across his shoulder (think army style, when they make them crawl through the mud; that’s Paul). He would peep his little face over the side of the roof and watch for grandpa in the garden. The first few nights, grandpa E stood outside for a few hours with the hose, waiting for the wild blond.

His persistence paid off, after a few days, grandpa E thought it was safe, and Paul snatched up his goodies. Paul thought he was being sneaky by hovering above the ground and not leaving boot prints; but the next morning, when Lucy, Sam, and Michael were having breakfast and they heard a string of old man cuss words, they knew ‘smokey the bandit’ struck again. Lucy didn’t believe for a second that sweet Paul could steal from her dad, so she chalked it up to her dad smoking too much and being old.

The next night when the boys went to visit for ‘pizza night’ grandpa E railed into Paul. He would not stop ranting and raving about how he was, “going to hog tie his ass,” and, “turn him into the ugliest taxidermyed vampire there ever was.”  Lucy gave the boys some money and sent them to get the pizza to let her dad cool down, but when grandpa E insisted he didn’t want Paul back in the house until he apologized, she told the boys to just go out for pizza.

Marko: Paul, you asshole, just apologize so we can go back.

Paul: If I apologize, then that proves I did it- which I didn’t.

Dwayne: Dude, we all know it was you.

Paul: Hey, he’s getting old, that’s 100% not my problem.

David: You know, if you strip the stalk, that kinda makes it more obvious, dumbass.

Sam: You shoulda heard him this morning,

Michael: Yea, it was pretty bad. I’ve never heard him blow up like that.

David: Really? What happened

Sam: He went crazy! He wouldn’t stop screaming!

Marko: *giggling*

Sam: It’s not funny dude, okay? He said words I’ve never even heard before!

Dwayne: Like what? ‘Dagnabbit?’

David: *snorts*

Michael: *Pulling Paul’s jacket by the sleeve* You know if he catches you, you’re dead.

Paul: I’m already dead, also, I’m so not scared of your ‘pappy’.

Michael: Hey, it was a fair warning.

After that, grandpa E went through with operation: catch that flying asshole. He brewed pots of coffee to stay up all night and traded in his hose for a shotgun. Grandpa E sat outside with a chair and his shotgun across his lap, just waiting for Paul to show.

Paul, the ever persistent, waited over a week for his prize. Lucy watched from the kitchen window, as her dad sat outside and stared at the night sky. Her, and Sam were beginning to worry about his mental state. He’d been forcing himself to stay away for hours, and whenever he did fall asleep, Paul would chuck pebbles at him to see if he’d gone to bed for good. Grandpa E would immediately wake up, startled, and one time he’d rang a shot off into the night. Lucy scolded him, saying what if he’d hit a bird, or one of the boys. And his response was, “good! Those fuckers need to learn to stop stealing my stuff!”

One night, after almost 10 nights, there was an opening.

Paul laid on his back, staring at the night sky, rolling the little grey pebble around between his fingers. He was getting sick of waiting, and if he wasn’t worried about what Lucy thought of him, he would have just gone and taken the whole damn garden already. He stared up at the stars, watching the clouds roll in.

Clouds.

He listened to the water as it began to fall softly onto the roof. The pitter-patter came slowly, then faster, then it came in a downpour.

Grandpa E: LUCY!

Lucy:

Grandpa E: LUUUCYYYY!

Lucy: What dad?

Grandpa E: Lucy! Bring me the umbrella!

Lucy: No Dad!

Grandpa E: WHAT?! But it’s a downpour!

Lucy: If you want the umbrella, you gotta come get it yourself!

*Lucy had had enough of her dad’s shenanigans and was determined to get him to come inside from the cold. She hoped this rainstorm was the wakeup call he needed. *

Grandpa E:

Grandpa E: SAM! MICHAEL!

Lucy: They’re not here dad!

Grandpa E: LUCY, YOU BRING ME THAT DAMN UMBRELLA BEFORE I CATCH MY DEATH OUT HERE!

She was done entertaining the notion that Paul, her sweet, kind, always there to help anyone, Paul, was stealing from her dad. He would have to come inside one way or another.

Grandpa E grumbled as his button-up shirt started to get soaked.

Paul turned to lay on his belly and watched his nemesis shift around, trying to determine what to do next. “Go inside, you old bastard,” Paul mumbled to himself. The rain was coming down hard now, if it wasn’t for his vampire eyes, he wouldn’t be able to see anything through the rain. Paul could stay out in the cold and wet forever if he needed to, but he knew grandpa E had to go inside, “go in,” Paul insisted.

He watched as grandpa E pulled the shotgun off his lap and scampered inside. He could hear him mumble something about an umbrella as he ran through the screen door into the kitchen.

Now was his chance!

Paul quickly flew down to the garden. He planted both feet firmly on the ground, what did it matter if his boot prints were in the ground, grandpa knew he was there, and also the rain would wash them out. Paul’s boots squished under him in the wet, burbly mud, he squatted down and grabbed the plant from the base of the stalk and ripped it out of the ground. The roots of the plant dripping down with mud and rain. He repeated his process a few more times. “Fucking old bastard,” he grumbled, as he pulled another plant up by the roots, “making me come out here in the - *grunts* FUCKING RAIN.”

He grabbed a few stalks, tucked them under the strap of his bag and flew off into the night.

Grandpa E heard the “woo-hoo” as he was reaching for the screen door. He ran outside, looking for the umbrella was a flop, it took him too long to search in the cramped closet, so he gave up and decided to return to his green patch of goodness. He scampered back to the kitchen and saw a hurried mess of hair shifting around in the garden.

Grandpa E: Look! There he is! *Pointing out the window*

Lucy: *Walking to the window* Dad, I don��t see anything?

Grandpa E: What do you mean?! He’s right there!

Lucy: *straining her eyes* Dad, it’s a downpour, I can’t see anything.

Grandpa E: *running to the screen door* I got your ass now!

But, as we all know, by the time he got out there, it was too late. Grandpa E, stared at the ground in defeat. He watched as the holes where the stalks used to be burbled and filled with mud and water. The boot prints were fading before his eyes. He knew no one would ever believe him now, and he knew Paul knew that too.

If he didn’t hate him so much by this point, he’d might have applauded him. But for now, he just fell to his knees, the mud sloshing under his pajama pants, and he wailed into the night.

Paul laughed the whole way back to the cave.

When he finally landed, he happily stomped down into the cave. He leaves of the stalks rustling, mud dripping off the stalks and the roots.

His boots squelched under his weight and the mud tracked in behind him.

The other boys and Michael watched as the cocky, rain washed out blond walked into the cave.

Marko: No fucking way.

Dwayne: Oh, Paul you didn’t

David: Atta boy!

Michael: Oooooh, I’m not here.

Paul hummed happily to himself; he ignored his brothers’ jeers as he walked to his alcove. He slung the bag off around his head set the stalks down next to his bean bag chair. He sat down on the tattered, ratty thing with an oomph. He looked at the stalks, he’d clean em and prep em for use later. Paul intended to pluck the seeds out and plant them near the cave, entirely done with being ‘smokey the bandit’.

He shifted to one side and reached a hand under the bag. He rifled around under the chair for a second before he produced what he was reaching for, an m&m tube. He patted his jacket for a lighter and popped open the blue plastic container. He wafted the open container under his nose and turned the tube upside down. A joint slid out into his open palm.

Paul plucked the twisted white paper and set it in his mouth. He flicked the lighter on and lit the end. He took a deep inhale and laid back further in his bean bag chair, still ignoring his brothers half-assed remarks.  

Victory never tasted so sweet.

[gayhoediaz]

not any of my business AT ALL but noticed you said buck was too young for you at 6 years older and then I got curious....what is your type? (obvs feel free to ignore)

it’s absolutely your business my daddy issues is my favorite topic. just. imagine me tucking my feet up under myself 🥰

no read more link i'm making this everyone's business <3

(we're doing this mainly based off of looks just to make it easy. i'm also someone who values physical attraction greatly, so it makes sense to me. personally. i'll talk a little bit about just general personality and vibes at the end, though!)

get in losers, we're objectifying men! (with respect, and the acknowledgment that just like women, they are all real people, and have a lot more to offer, even the characters, they're played by real people. and i'm sure they're all wonderful people until i'm proven otherwise.)

okay. so.

i’m a pretty introspective person and i’ve actually been thinking about this lately because my taste is. relatively. unpredictable.

i did indeed say that buck would be too young for me at roughly 6 years older and i stand by that because here’s the thing: i feel like when people think of daddy issues in terms of age, they think of. people being interested in people who are. a little bit older. my personal daddy issues run so deep, i need them older. (we’re specifically talking about men. i like women too - but that’s neither here nor there and i have a good relationship with my mom, so that’s not what we’re talking abt rn.) i’m into men that like. if i told you they were my dad, you would not fucking blink.

and it’s not just the age. being an objectively attractive man roughly 20 years my senior? that’s not necessarily enough. we’re going off of celebrities and fictional characters right now cause it’s just an easy way to explain things but there are plenty of men who are very objectively attractive and are twenty years older than me, but who just. don’t look it. and i absolutely see why people thirst after them but they’re just. not for me. like. okay.

manny montana? very pretty. i love looking at him. and he is much older than me. and yet, not my type.

same with like. andy samberg. so. very. pretty. and roughly a couple decades older than me. my type? nope.

now - tony dalton?

yeah. yeah.

^^^ and it’s not just “lalo’s hot” no no no no no my ass is in the discord server at 3am losing it over pictures like this:

(^^^ he's not btw. not to me.)

when i tell y’all i’m hopeless i am HOPELESS

anyway moving onto someone else i’m feral about: billy burke but ONLY when he’s scruffy okay?

this? i mean i wouldn’t… not let hit, but

when i say im feral abt billy burke i’m talking about charlie swan and i’m talking abt this:

honorable mention i am also feral as fuck abt robert knepper

and now, i can hear you saying "oh nie, i get it, so you're not attracted to men who have like chronic boy face, i get it!!! you're into like. the jeffrey dean morgan, joe manganiello types!"

nope. i am not the slightest bit attracted to either of those men. like. *vanessa hudgens voice* i get it. i respect it.

not for me tho.

NOW. there is a little bit of a gray area when we talk about men who like... have chronic boy face and everything else about them is just... not that energy.

like. raul castillo for example.

(he looks a lot like a young version of my maternal grandpa, but that's just. something we're not gonna touch rn.) first of all? my immediate reaction is not "let me hit" my first reaction is very similar to manny montana in the sense that like. so. pretty.

but also? tummyyyyyyy so nvm let me hit yk what i mean?

(for some reason jon bernthal also goes in this category. they don't look anything alike but. same vibes to me in terms of how attracted i am, personally. where it's like. sure. yknow?)

i am also forever a mustache warrior, okay, shave off a mustache? doesn't usually necessarily ruin it for me, but grow one? it's better. immediately. actually, while oliver, just like buck, is too young to be my type, the only picture in existence where i am even the slightest bit attracted to oliver is the one from that photoshoot where the lighting accidentally made it look like he had one:

that's it. that's the only one.

(while we're on the topic of 9-1-1 cast: ryan also is too young for me, but i am very attracted to him when he has long hair. the second it's gone, he's just a silly little guy to me. i'm not really attracted to peter, although i wouldn't... say no. i'm here for kenny, though. absolutely. anytime.)

now so i feel less bad about objectifying every single man mentioned in this post, let's talk personalities (not specifically the ones mentioned, because i don't know them. this is just abt me and just general vibes that i'm drawn to) i need the vibe to be like. relaxed, which i think loops right back around to daddy issues, of course - it's not that i would be turned off if i'm with a man and he needs to cry on my shoulder 'cause something happened, that's fine - but generally there needs to be a feeling of just. not a lot of stress, not a lot of anxiety, things are handled, things will work out - you know. and usually, you tend to get that from people who are. a lot older. even people in their 30s don't usually have their shit together like that. (which is fine!!) but it's just so. just. easy to breathe when someone's like "eh, i'll fix it" (and yes, my love language is indeed acts of service)

as i put it in another post at some point: [billy burke in twilight] awakened the innermost parts of me that yearn to be railed by scruffy, mustached men old enough to be my father who look like they smell like a campfire and taste like tobacco and like i would tell them i wanted dick and they would nod once and say "yes ma'am"

the end <3

[devinescribe]

Letters and Poems in the Drawer

Ch.9 of “My Sunshine” [TreechxReader]

Ok, so most of these are super cute and sweet. Some can be interpreted as a bit… lewd in a way. And I guess they kind of are? So I guess;

Warnings: some mildly risqué poems. And Treech being a simp-

The boy I shouldn't miss

Because he was never mine. But I can't stop myself from imagining myself in his strong arms. Wearing the stupid hat he wears everyday cause I stole it. Can't stop my stupid lovesick thoughts of kissing him soon as he steps off that damn train. He's the boy I shouldn't miss, but I do. He's the boy I shouldn't be writing poetry about, but I do. He's the boy I shouldn't love, but I do.

———

I love like a dog. Not the cute puppy way, with eyes that plead for you to love me... but in the mutt way. Begging for even a scrap. Loyal to the bitter end. I love like a dog. Staying even when I know there's nothing but hurt ahead, I'll lay in my bed without so much as a whimper, hopin' you'll look at me with the scrap of love I beg for. I love like a dog.

Treech softly played with the corner of the paper and considered burning the piece, something about how vulnerable the piece was. He glared at the paper, as if it was the paper’s fault he wrote all that. He put his head in his hands, and remembered how much you loved reading poetry. Especially the poetry that gave off so many feelings. He softly put it into the drawer.

——

Dear Treech,

You are not going to believe the audacity of this man. I mean, he's always been an asshole, but it pissed me off today. Festus Creed has been a pain in my ass since I moved here. He's always poked fun at me for being district, but I never paid him mind. Suddenly, I'm back in the class after summer break and he's flirting with me!!! Can you believe it, I mean seriously. Does he think I'm dumb? He plays with my hair in class and passes me notes I don't read. His hand writing and spelling are absolutely atrocious, so I wouldn't even be able to read it even if I wanted to. Anyway, I hope your day was great. Mine was. I got to punch Festus Creed in the face. It was during stage hitting practice, and I took the opportunity. I mean I started the waterworks and they all fell for it. Even Creed. I think Dean Highbottom knows... but he likes me, says I’m his favorite student, isn’t that silly? I mean with powers like these? Life is crazy.

Sincerely, your friend,

(N/N)

——-

There's a fine line between jealousy and obsession. I think I'm on the edge of it. I don't really know why. I mean I know you have friends. That doesn't bother me. It's... the way people look at you like they own you. Like you're already theirs. I might say that you're 'mine' but I know that you aren't something to own. I think... what upsets me the most is that you look like they've sucked any joy out of your life. You smile... but it's not real... I guess I'm just... I don't even know at this point.

Fuck

He scribbled on the page and groaned in frustration, upset that his words didn't string together the way they usually did. He crumpled it up and threw it in the small bin he had before sighing. He picked it out and smoothed the paper, folding it and placing it in the drawer.

——

Dear sweet sunshine,

I've been holding the necklace a lot more recently. I have it hidden usually. Firstly so it doesn't get damaged, and secondly because I don't want anyone to try and take it.

I look at it and wonder if you look at yours. You know, that ring was my grandfather's. My grandma gave it to him as a proposal. Isn't that so cool of her? Said she wasn't going to wait forever for him to propose and did it herself. Well, grandpa gave it to me because dad didn't want to have the ring. He said I was to give it to my special someone when the time came. And even though it definitely won't fit you, I think it's cute. I mean, I'll give you your ring back and maybe it will count as that. We were much too young to be thinking of all that, I still think no one deserves it more than you. When you come back I'm making sure it's perfect and shined up.

Much love,

Treech /\

         

——

Dearest Treech,

Yeah yeah it's the first time I actually use your name in one of these. Suck it up buttercup.

You won't believe what some kids tried to do today. I mean I know Capitol kids aren't the nicest, but this goes too far. With all the fine things they have, they tried to take my necklace! Some of them tried to stop the others. Like Pup Harrington. He ain't mean I guess... never says much but doesn't step in. Until today. Asked them why they wanted my necklace when they had nicer things. I mean I guess that was supposed to be insult? I don’t know. Hate Clemensia. She’s so mean. Said that it might be nicer, but mine was one of a kind. Coriolanus, his name is a mouth full, said she was acting no better than a district kid. Was it mean? Yeah. Insulting? Above else. But it made everyone stop. Sejanus scoffed a sarcastic sentence about us district kids acting better than the Capitol kids. I mean the teacher stood there! She didn’t do anything! I’m glad it’s my last year with her. Next year, we start the last four years of Academy.

Anyway, just needed to rant about them. Love you!

Sincerely,

(Y/N) ♡

——

I think about you. All the time. I try not to, you distract me. I mean, your dad makes so many public appearances, it’s hard not to stare at you on the screen. You’re gorgeous. So fucking pretty. Sometimes you talk, and your voice is so sweet… And I have to stop myself from thinking to much about it. I work alone most days, so I try not to get distracted. At night, when I’m alone in my room I can finally let my mind run and wander across everything. I mean it’s stupid. I sit at my desk and try to write but end up fantasizing about you and I. What kind of life would we have? Together, I mean.

——

There’s lots of things I’ve written I will avoid giving you. I don’t want you to know that I’ve been thinking about you in any way that might scare you off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love poems are one thing, no matter how embarrassing it is a guy like me writes them. The rest are thoughts and things I kept for fear of anyone reading them. If you asked me, I bet all it would take is one look from your pretty begging eyes, and I’d give in. Staring at the ceiling is pointless so I close my eyes and imagine you’re here with me.

——

Oh my darling, I will never find anyone as wonderful as you. The things I wrote poems about will come to fruition with you. You are now and have always been the subject of my poetry. You make me swoon, and my heart race. Your words are saccharine sweet when I hear them in my head. Butterflies flutter in my stomach and you made it easy to talk to you. I am completely comfortable around you I want to give you all of me all that I am…

You blushed writing the last lines, hiding your face in your hands. Was it even right thinking of him like this? Did he ever think of you like that? Were you both thinking of each other at the same time when your eyes flutter shut?

——

I’d beg till my voice goes hoarse, if you told me to

I’d drop everything, if you told me to

I’d fall to my knees in second, if you told me to

I’d take anything. All the pain, all the pleasure whatever it might be, if you told me to

I’d listen to every command, every wish, every fantasy, and make it come true. If you told me to.

Because I want to be just yours. All that to say I want to be yours. Your darling, your sweetheart, your beau, whatever you want to call me.

Your boy, only yours

How could I ever want anyone else?

Hehehe imagine simping that hard couldn’t be me anywayyyyy-

[sunnnfish]

Tagged by @aranarumei !!! Thanks!!

five shuffled songs from my favorite playlist

My current favorite playlist is. Ensemble stars songs. Im going to refrain from that one. If anyone cares it would be all Valkyrie songs. instead we’re looking at my general favorite songs playlist i called “high energy” because they’re mostly fast and well. High energy. And a little evil sounding. Minor notes and all that.

Got long bc im in verbose freak February. Going under a cut

1. Channel 01 Clown by Teddy Hyde

this is what I mean by evil sounding. Like YELLING and EMOTION and a strained smile and wild eyes. And like an almost cyclical sound. Fun fact i found this song from a cover i found on tumblr and im really sad that version isnt on Spotify. It was so good. Alas….

2. I Am… All Of Me cover by Victor McKnight, Penny Parker, Noah McKnight

yeah the shadow the hedgehog song. This is also what i mean by evil sounding. And fast paced. Also yeah this is the cover used in Snapcube Shadow The Hedgehog realtime fan dub. Really funny stuff…

3. Inside Story by Little River Band

got into this band bc i got really into cassette tapes and my grandma gave me a tape of this album and told me they were one of my grandpas favorite bands. And he was so right for that. This ones got a little of that evil sound… those minor notes… did you hear what the victim said…. One time i looped this song manually on my cassette player while doing a puzzle for like 5 hours probably

4. フィクサー (Fixer) by ぬゆり (nuyuri)

linking a specific cover on YouTube that i listened to. An embarrassing amount truly. And im sad its not on Spotify. But i love this song soooooooooooooo so so so much. Like the radio sounds the clapping snapping clicking sounds. So good.

5. Dr. Sunshine Is Dead by Will Wood and the Tapeworms

mmmm yeah those silly circus cyclical sliding evil sounnddssss… yeah just a really fun fast beat i love it

BONUS. Seishunnante Iranaiwa by Sangatsu no Phantasia

bonus because this was the next song that came on and i love it SOOOO MUCH… song associated with my favorite fic ever. Just looked up the full translated lyrics for the first time im crushed. Been going on vibes and slight japanese understanding alone which were mostly correct but ooohhh. Song about summer and growing up and not wanting to grow up. Let this summer last forever. Don’t let it slip through my grasp. Don’t move on without me. Im in shambles.

Anyways i could genuinely go on forever about songs. That Unwanted Animal by The Amazing Devil came on next i could probably write an essay on that one if i really wanted to. But im not i promise. Maybe some other time. I love sooonnngggsssss you guys…. Not tagging anyone specifically but feel free to do it yourself ^_^

[rottingraisins]

clef for the character ask game thing :-)

clef my horrid little issues man. I think abt him so much

fav thing: even just sticking to the few fundamental things that are always true about him hes such a layered character. I love how hes never not being pulled apart by conflicting alllegiances to his designated veil-upkeeping organization and the people he cares about, i love that hes implied to be able to perceive other timelines to an extent, i love that he has a funny hat. so much to dig your fingers into with this guy

least fav thing: listen every facet of the scp community is some flavor of weird about him im not gonna single out one

favorite line: I mean, it could be worse, right? At least you're safe in here. It's not like the desks are coming alive to kill you now, is it? Oh wait, yes they are. The FUCKING DESKS ARE GOING TO KILL YOU.

brOTP: HIM AND ADAMS FOREVER but like in the same way people ship succession characters i need them to inflict maximum psychic harm on each other. for tav-666 secret santa which isnt really secret at all bc tav-666 is two people but clef insists on it adams gets him a mug that says worlds greatest grandpa

OTP: I have been informed that i am "the clefdraki guy". sorry to everyone about that. kondraki we could have been people monologue from yesterday does hit hard unfortunately

nOTP: /

random headcanon: Insufferably good at strategy games, especially chess. Go-to alcohol is brandy. Has never been seen wearing the same shirt twice.

unpopular opinion: I think he's a lot more hinged than people think, hes very firmly under the thumb of the foundation and the way he tends to act is him lashing out within the parametres hes given, see him having a fairly sensible reaction to duke till dawn, unlike rights, bright, kain etc. He's one of the least loose cannons here. I rlly like interpretations of him where hes kind of a bitter old man wrapped in 6+ layers of flashy defense mechanisms

songs: death on two legs by queen is for sure on his murder playlist. stuart the dead milkmen is my voiceclaim for him forever and always. pink and blue tmg makes me think about ukulele and meri really hard.

fav pic: @/flebus draws a really really good clef

[starrook]

KISS MEME: a kiss on the forehead of one who is starting to fall asleep

( everyone's favorite day: portrait dayyyyy )

morion understands the importance of getting his portrait taken. but that does not mean he has to like it.

sitting for hours facing a single direction with no movement is bound to make anyone start to itch. morion is a man of movement, not stillness! he needs to be outside swinging a sword for enrichment! he needs to get his blood flowing! arggggg!!!!

but years of discipline and previous captured likenesses have taught him patience in execution, at the very least. he can think all he wants about how much he wishes for an instant portrait-capturing device, but externally he could sit all day making the same tight expression if he needed to. it's all part of the job.

what makes this particular portrait easier to sit through is the fact that it is a family portrait, which means his most favorite people are all with him. his wife next to him, diamant standing by his mother, and alcryst sitting in morion's lap---all equally as enthused to be here, but all happy that the family shares in mutual suffering.

alcryst especially is not used to waiting around for portraits; there isn't much squirming, really, but sitting and doing nothing invites a drowsiness typical in young ones. morion sees this and can hardly fight the smile growing on his face. he motions for the portrait artist to pause before leaning over.

" psst, alcryst, " morion whispers, a hint of mischief in his tone. boy, he gets it. " wake up, mini fry. the portrait man still needs to paint your face. "

ahh, but his son is too cute. morion can't resist pressing an embarrassing kiss to alcryst's forehead, mussing up his bangs and scratchy-scratching his little nose with his beard. " you've only gotta sit for a little bit longer, okay? then we can lay down for naptime; papa thinks he needs one, too. "

Alcryst promised that he’d be a good boy. Because what they’re doing now is important: they’re going to have a picture painted so that they can join grandma and grandpa in the royal gallery! He looked forward to this day for weeks, had even begged his parents to let him meet the painter beforehand…

But it’s not nearly as fun as Alcryst thought it would be. There’s so much sit still and see here and don’t make a face—Alcryst wants to be good so he does his best not to fidget and keeps his complaints to himself. He tries, he really does.

And yet as time goes on, his enthusiasm runs out, and his patience begins to flag. Alcryst is hungry, and bored, and sleepy, and itchy, and- and- and-!

A little bit longer, Father insists. As far as a three-year-old Alcryst is concerned, that’s forever. It’s already been forever. He can’t stay here forever. He can’t! He hates this! If it’s because they need to paint his face, then…!

“I don’t want my face painted…!” Because if Alcryst doesn’t have to get his face painted, he can just go, right? But as it becomes clear that there is no escape, Alcryst cries tears of frustration. He writhes in his father’s arms like a fish, trying desperately to get away. When that doesn’t work either, he lets out a shrill, ear-splitting shriek.

“I don’t wanna do this anymore!!!” Alcryst hiccups, then continues to sob. His little feet kick at his father’s stomach, tiny fingers working desperately to peel his father’s hands off.

“NO!!!!!”

[granitenotgranted]

I'm gonna need ur reaction and thoughts about the RaM finale once you've watched it

I only watched it yesterday so im not gonna have any hot and spicy new takes for yall but ya girl DID have some thoughts lets go (obviously spoiler warning)

thank you SO SO much for asking!! I’m honored that you want my takes<33

Listen I hate to say it but I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!! GOD!!! 😭😭😭

I just need to come out here and say this but first of all I dont think Rick replacing himself was really a bad thing,,,, like at all LMAO especially knowing that it was Rick who made him I mean it was more than just a replacement he was made to be the grandpa he wants for morty but he just knows he can’t be right now.

I can fully understand how it would absolutely feel like a betrayal to Morty but looking at it as a viewer I mean Rick was fully spiraling, to me his intentions were completely pure. Also I thik im just grateful they gave us a time stamp for when the swap was made so we didnt have to wonder forever how much of Rick this season was Rick. He still did piss master, he still kept Jerry blissfully ignorant just out of good will, he STILL WILLINGLY WENT TO THERAPY. All these wouldve been out the window if theyd overlooked that detail. 

Him recognizing that he was starting to go off the deep end again and not only removing himself but having his familys best interest in mind ( “Im no good to anyone until I resolve this” ) while doing so AND literally while mad at Morty is still INSANE character growth from where we started but this way is REALISTIC character growth. It was WEIRD how black and white the difference between literally yhe last two episodes and even just the rest of the season (which has famously been Rick in his peak good grandpa career) was. At some points it felt like I was reading fanfiction.

(Why do his knees look like that oh my god) Rick is fully capable of recognizing where he can be better, he always has been, he is not stupid *however* he is CLUTCHING onto the idea of being more logical than sentimental by the fucking neck rn. Men will literally build an anatomically flawless ai to be the perfectly calculated percentage nicer to their grandson and to be the man they wish they were before just going back to therapy.

Someone else mentioned this but ill also point out how much I appreciated just seeing Rick working? Like just in his space completely focused building shit with his brain and hands that hit the fucking spot. 9/10 times we only get the finished product and idk if its just me but I love when we SEE Rick living up to the Rick Sanchez tm reputation.

And Morty... my sweet summer child. It is not at all a shiny new take to say oh he’s so done with ricks shit we all know that but I really really want to point out something that I’m not really sure what point I’m trying to make with but have we noticed almost a switch morty flips when on adventures? He cried because Christmas was ruined like not even a full 6 hours before he was fully ready to kill a man while looking him in the eyes. Maybe the two were cause and effect idk bht I think that’s definitely something present in other episodes too this sorta “just get it done” attitude.

Also how much he sounded like rick this ep? That whole “don’t be too flattered he’s been actively trying to die” sounded EXACTLY like a Rick line I literally had to play it again. And the complete apathy for robo rick wanting to die until he ACTUALLY lunged himself into the void was also just textbook rick bullshit. Like grandfather like goddamn grandson.

The ending to me was a little disappointing tbh I think I was hoping for a more,,, structured? Cliffhanger? Like we dk what’s gonna happen in this storyline instead of the introduction to a new storyline yk? MAYBEEE I’m just salty we have to wait another year for more you can’t prove anything.

Rick being borderline manic ab RP at the end was my favorite it’s nice to see him just rant ab anything really and like not make some bullshit elaborate Halloween house to take his anger out but just legit vent ab what this guys been doing to him for the past fucking 40 years. I didn’t even notice the ep was over when the credits rolled in my mind we were only like 10 minutes in and I lost my MIND when mr poopy butthole pulled up again good to see he’s thriving (kinda)

On a final note when he called him Rick prime please let me know if I’m off but is that not an internet term for him? Like the fandom came up with it? Rick and morty writers are tumblerinas confirmed question mark?

And lastly: Neurotypical. Cooties.

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Hi, so I'm not entirely sure if your still doing match up requests, and if you aren't pretend this doesnt exist. Also I love your works so much. They're so good.

If you are still doing matchups, could you possibly do a romantic matchup for harry potter, preferably marauders era cause it's my favorite. Maybe like a girl and boy cause I'm pansexual. also please and thank youuu!

I'm a teen girl and my pronouns are she/they. I have dark brown with hints of red in my hair cause I dyed it with a box dye that didn't really work. I promise you only see like red highlights in the sun. It's not ugly. And i have curtain bangs and some layers. I wear glasses because my eyesight has become horrible in the past few years.

I love reading and drawing..it's what I do the most. I like to read romance that has adventure or like mystery involved. I love dystopian and zombie apocalypse books, but am terribly afraid of zombjes. I also like coming of age stories cause I try to romanticize my life with those books. My room looks like a library and I no longer have any room for books, but I keep on buying more. I draw a ton and I really love watercolor. It's my absolute favorite thing in earth. I decorate my room with all my drawings. I love music, like phoebe bridgers and Taylor swift ( mainly folklore and evermore) as well as beabadoobee and the backseat lovers. My all time favorite though will forever be wallows. I also like the cure and flock of seagulls.

Along with that, I love the color green, especially paired with brown or like this magenta pinkish red and light purple. It's so pretty omg. My style is kind of cottagecore on some days, or grandpa on most. I wear a lot of sweaters during fall time. I love autumn omg. It's so fun. I love going to the mountains, mainly cloudcroft because it's so near my city and taking pictures of the changing leaves and mountains there. Also it means the cold is coming and holidays. I'm only happy during those times. I'm also kind of a person who has academic validation problems, so I try my best with school and always have all A's, except pre cal and math because I suck at it. 😭

Anyways thats it. Thank you!!!

Hi! At the time that you sent this in, I was still doing matchup requests! So, no worries! And thank you! I hope you enjoy your matchup! <333

---

Harry Potter (Marauders);

---

(Romantic);

Lily Evans:

💐 You lived a couple of houses down from the Evans's and you actually met Lily when you were both kids - what really brought the two of you together though, was you both loved to read; before Hogwarts, you both loved to have coloring playdates

💐 You and Lily would spend a lot of time together when you both got into Hogwarts too - studying together, listening to music from your cassette player, and going to Hogsmeade when you both could

💐 When the fall break comes, you and Lily go back home, but don't stay for long, you and her often traveled to wherever you could find pretty, picturesque mountains, and take pictures together - watching the leave change color

💐 During the holidays, Lily would often gift you sweaters, and other types of cottagecore clothing that make you smile - and that you feel comfortable in; in turn, you often gift her books and other sweet gifts that remind you of her

💐 You and Lily had always been great friends, always there for each other, and always there to make the other smile; who know what is in the future for the both of you

---

Remus Lupin:

🐺 You met Remus when you got to Hogwarts, it was only a matter of time since you were friends with Lily - James never seemed to leave her alone - that you would meet the secret wolfie boi

🐺 You and Remus had an instant connection, since you both read books - the moment he heard about how your room was completely filled with books, he was like (❤ ω ❤)

🐺 You and Remus often - when you weren't studying or hanging out with Lily - often spent time together in the library, reading, swapping books, and so forth; you both love discussing recent books the both of you have read

🐺 When the summer comes, you and Remus go to each other's places; at yours, you and Remus just lay down on your bedroom floor, listening to your favorite songs on your record player - just the two of you, in the peaceful abyss of music surrounding you - the tips of your fingers interlaced

🐺 You and Remus are very closely matched, having a love for books, the arts, and the world.

[thecandywrites]

Monster March 2024- Day 3- Extra-Dimensional Being

Glass Cannon

Or, more specifically, Night Action- Monster March Style. With a Jumper twist. Now, while the term Glass Cannon has it's own meaning, this is obviously, a twist on it. And, hopefully, once I finish Monster March. I can go back and finish this. I'm trying extra super hard to stay on track and post these, on time. So I'm doing my best to post at least a part 1 of all of these prompts.

As always, a huge thanks to @borealwrites for their amazing Monster March 2024 prompt list. Enjoy.

Monster March 2024 Day 3- Extra Dimensional Being  

Night Action Monster March Style

Glass Cannon

Teagan pulled into the driveway of her grandparents house and couldn’t help but cry fresh tears. She felt like she just wanted to jump into a black hole and disappear forever. But she also knew her family would jump in to save her, no matter how badly she felt she needed to disappear. 

Teagan felt like her life was in chaos. 

Her partner, fell in love with a client. And her partner and the client practically took her business and all of her customers right out from under her. With no more clients, she couldn’t afford to rent the space. And had to move all of her things out of there and into storage. Her savings dwindled when she tried to restart the business but failed because where she had moved to, while it was good she was unknown, she just couldn’t get a foothold. She lost the new space, and her apartment, all at the same time. So she was essentially homeless, jobless, out of money and out of options. 

Her parents had already been moved to an assisted living community because of dementia and other health issues. And so she couldn’t go to them. 

All of her siblings just didn’t have room in their homes, with their families that always felt like it was bursting at the seams already. She had already couch surfed her few remaining friends and now, the only place left to go, was her grandparents house. 

Her grandma Hyacinth, came out of the house and came to her driver’s side door and opened the door to reach in and hug her. 

“Oh honey, it’s ok. It’s ok. You’re here now. You’re safe and sound. Come on, let’s get you inside.” She urged as Teagan nodded into her grandma’s shoulders and unbuckled her seatbelt and came inside where they had made Teagan’s favorite dishes to give her as much comfort as possible as Teagan sunk down into the dining room chair and while she didn’t feel that hungry before, now that she was sitting here, she realized she hadn’t eaten anything of real sustenance in weeks as Hyacinth scooped big portions onto Teagan’s plate as Teagan began to cry less and less with every bite she took. 

Her grandpa Jude had gone and gotten some help from a neighbor kid to start unpacking Teagan’s car of her things to move her into the guest bedroom. 

“Thank you Grandpa.” Teagan said between mouthfuls. 

“You’re welcome Sweetheart. You just go ahead and keep on eating. Sport and I got this.” He waived off as the young kid seemed to be like 12 or 13. Teagan had known the kid to shovel driveways and mow lawns for the neighbors for the last couple of years and Teagan could only hope he was charging enough to do such things. 

“I just…I just don’t know where to start.” Teagan finally confessed to her grandma. 

“Start fresh. That’s all you can do. Tomorrow will be a new day. And the important thing is, is that you’re safe here. You can rest here. You need to rest and give yourself time to adjust and once you’ve recovered and settled, then you can focus on where you can go from here. Your grandpa and I still have a bit of money in savings. It’s not enough to reset you completely. But it’s enough to buy a seed or two to plant and grow.” She reassured her granddaughter. 

“Here, have a drink. I got a new recipe, I want you to tell me what you think.” She offered as she inched the glass closer to her granddaughter. 

Teagan picked it up and took a sip. 

“Is this…is this a liquid marijuana?” Teagan asked as she could distinctly taste the midori melon liqueur. 

“I like to call it a Lady Green, sounds more sophisticated. I still have a firm no drugs policy, even in name.” Hyacinth waved off in a teasing tone as Teagan snorted a laugh into her drink before she drank more. This was one of her favorite drinks too. Sweet and fruity and lethal as far as alcohol content. Her grandparents were a bit eccentric, but adorable and lovable all the same as Hyacinth giggled with her granddaughter. 

“Have you gone to see Mom?” Teagan asked.

“Yes, she thought I was an old neighbor of hers. Poor thing, quite out of her mind.” She shook her head. 

“Yeah, she had no idea who I was when I saw her either. And Dad, his knee replacement surgery didn’t go as well as he hoped and he isn’t healing like he should. He's practically wheelchair bound now. I’m really worried about him.” Teagan admitted. 

“Me too. But, the important thing is that they are where they will receive the best care and help and support right where they are.” Hyacinth reassured her before her phone rang and she answered it. 

“Hi Hi.” She answered it once she got up and then went to a counter where her tablet was. 

“Yes of course, I’m going to send you the address and the code ok?” She offered before she went and seemed to do a few taps on her tablet before looking back up and away as she listened to who was on the phone. 

“Did you get it?” She asked and smiled and nodded. 

“Good. Have the day you deserve.” She offered before she hung up. 

“Another AirBnB reservation?” Teagan asked. 

“Yes. They come in all the time, both day and night.” She excused as she returned to the table with her. 

“But it’s how we afford to live here and take care of your parents when the facility can’t cover everything.” She sighed. 

“Once you get settled, I’ll take you around to all of them and let you have your pick of whichever one you want though. It’s the least we can do. But it will just take a while for that to happen. You just need to be patient.” Hyacinth offered before Jude got the last of the items and paid “Sport” for the help before Sport happily pocketed the money and bid them goodbye and to call him if they needed help with anything else before Jude came in and sat on the other side of Teagan at the table. 

“Glad to have you home Sweetpea.” He cooed as he hugged her from the side and kissed the crown of her head. 

“Thank you for taking me in.” Teagan offered. 

“Oh don’t say it like you’re some poor orphan. You’re family. You stay as long as you want and as long as you need to- to get your feet back underneath you. You’ve been through enough hell as it is. We don’t need to add to it. We know how much you love your independence and self sufficiency and the blows to your pride to just come to us and ask, have been too big and too tough if you ask me. Just sit back and let us take care of you for a bit. You’re not being a leech or anything. Everyone falls on tough times. This is just yours hitting all at once.” Grandpa Jude comforted and reassured her as he rubbed circles into her back. 

Teagan happily wrapped each arm around each of them on either side of her and hugged them. 

“Thank you.” She thanked them. 

“You’re welcome. Now eat up. You’ve lost too much weight as it is.” Hyacinth insisted once she dumped another spoonful of stuffing onto Teagan’s plate while Grandpa Jude gave her another scoop of gravy for her mashed potatoes. 

It took a while to get used to all the calls that they got, as it seemed like they were getting at least several an hour, as they would get a call and then need to make a few more with each one. Teagan wondered if her grandparents must have had dozens of places that they rented out. But couldn’t find it in her heart to be upset about it. It would hopefully just be that many more options for her moving forward. But she was not about to complain. She had a lot of aunts and uncles that were more or less “adopted” and the family was always going here or there and doing this or that. But her grandparents seemed to be home base and a touchstone for everyone else and how they kept it all straight was beyond Teagan’s understanding. 

After a few more days of this, Teagan seemed to acclimate and began to anticipate the calls and would hand her grandparent’s their tablets or their phones- only moments before their phones would ring as they would be around the house, doing various things and pause to direct the cleaning service they hired to clean the AirBnB’s after each guest would stay as Teagan was just happy to rest, help with meals and cleaning up to let her grandparents continue to “do business”. As it was clear that it was booming for them. Which, she could be happy for them. But also knew, it was a lot of work too and didn’t envy them. But Teagan rather liked all the distractions from what she was dealing with. She still remembered how her grandma liked her tea, how her grandpa liked his coffee and other little things like that. She was happy to play “caregiver” to them, even though they didn’t need that much “care” in that sense. Just the occasional reminder to eat and drink every so often and bring chargers to charge their ever ringing phones and tablets as they would move around their home throughout the day.

“You know Teagan, maybe we ought to train you on how to manage all of this. Your grandma and I might want to really, fully retire someday. And it would be nice to leave this business to a family member who would be able to manage it and make it grow. It’s like you have a sixth sense about it.” Grandpa Jude began as Hyacinth paused to give Jude a meaningful look. 

“I wouldn’t wish the constant phone ringing on anyone in the family.” Hyacinth gently contested. 

“Besides, we already have buyers cued up for our business. Who have been getting their feet wet and are gaining a lot of experience in handling this. I think if Teagan can wait it out for a little while, we can just give her, her share of the sale with everyone else. And really let her build something for herself. And not just continue this never ending cycle. These are supposed to be our golden years Jude. I feel like my mother when she was a phone cable girl, always patching calls through. Being a hub to receive requests and directing them to their final destinations.” She offered with a tired sigh as she tried to get back to her knitting from her last set of phone calls and at least remember to drink her tea while it was still warm. 

“Not that I don’t think you can do it. I just think you can do something more noble and worthy of your time than just managing this tangle.” Hyacinth reassured Teagan. 

“Yeah, I’ll be honest. It’s not my cup of tea. I like my peace and quiet and solitude.” Teagan offered with a polite smile as she lounged on their sofa and read a book as Hyacinth gave Jude an ‘I told you so’ look as Jude rolled his eyes before other calls came in that took their attention once again. 

However, that night, Teagan awoke and frowned when the house was deathly quiet. The phone calls had ceased and when she checked her phone. It was showing something similar to a blue screen of death. No signal, no wifi, nothing. Which was extremely odd. She tried to turn on the light, but the power was out. Which would explain the unsettling quietness. Nothing was on. Not even the clocks on the walls ticked. Something was wrong. Grossly so. Every hair on Teagan’s body stood on end as impending doom grew like a boulder in her gut. And suddenly, she got the sensation that so many people were jumping just outside the home and closing in. Like a pack of wolves. 

Teagan got up and went through the darkened house, and peeked into her grandparent’s room, to see it was empty. Bed wasn’t even disturbed. And just as she was about to go to the bathroom, she heard her grandparents frantically whispering downstairs. 

“We should have moved Teagan yesterday!” Jude harshly whispered as he racked some loads into his shotgun. 

“I thought we had more time!” Hyacinth defended as she was pulling her decorative cookie jars down and pulling weapons and ammo from them and tossing things over to Jude who was at the table loading their ever growing arsenal as Hyacinth seemed to pull more and more weapons that were hidden all around their kitchen! Teagan stared wide eyed and slack jawed. The most dangerous thing her grandparents had ever handled before was a chef knife. Where did all of this come from?

“We need to jump her.” Jude insisted. 

“Except that they will use that to track her that much faster. She can’t jump on her own. We can use our rabbit hole in the closet to get her out of here. Send her to the Fluers.” Hyacinth said. 

“She’s already so delicate, this would break her if we did that.” Jude argued. 

“Then we’ll make her Bullet Proof. I’ll go wake her.” Hyacinth decided before she went to get to the stairs to see Teagan already on the middle landing. 

“Oh good! You’re up. Put this on.” Hyacinth urged her as she brought her to the kitchen and put a backpack on her as Jude was writing something down. 

“What’s going on? Why do you guys have so many weapons? Are we about to get raided or something? Do I need to jump out of here?” Teagan asked.

“No, don’t jump!” Hyacinth sharply urged her. 

“We are going to put you into the closet. The closet is going to portal you somewhere safe, when you get there, get on a phone and call this number and say these exact words in this exact order. And then give them this message. Do not jump and portal back here! Do you hear and understand me, Teagan?” Jude asked once he put the paper into her hands and then held her face in his weathered hands. 

“Yes Sir.” Teagan nodded as tears soon glassed her own eyes. 

“Good girl.” Jude offered with tears glazing his eyes as he kissed her forehead and then left to get something. 

“And do not use your own jumping and portaling abilities once you are through. Because if you do, another jumper will jump through your portal to where you just portaled from. And once they get your portal signature, they’ll be able to track you and hunt you down. Do not, under any circumstances jump to true friends or anyone in the family because the people that are outside and closing in on us, will kill everyone in the family. Even your baby nieces and nephews. You can’t lead this danger to them. Got it?” Hyacinth urged her as she fitted the backpack to her granddaughter. 

“What the hell is going on?” Teagan asked. 

“We don’t have time to tell you. We only have time to save you. Don’t worry about us ok? We’ve been through worse. When this is all over, go to the Fluers. Tell them you’re a consigliere. They’ll give you- your true inheritance. But that’s only after this danger is gone. And you are truly safe ok?” Hyacinth urged her. 

“We love you.” Jude offered before he came up and injected something into her neck as she whimpered and hissed in pain before Hyacinth injected her with something else in the other side of her neck as she looked hurt and betrayed at her grandmother who could only give her an apologetic smile. 

“Go, go now!” They urged as they both shoved her into the closet and suddenly the closet floor vanished and she was suddenly falling and all around her was a blur of light and color as a glass tube seemed to encapsulate her and protect her from around her before suddenly it stopped, but only for a moment, just as she was about to leave the tube, it went again and by the second time it stopped, she tried to get out again, only for the tube to lock and send her again, this time the colors all around her moving in all manner of directions that made her so dizzy. She felt like she was in a roller coaster as her body’s center of gravity seemed to move and switch around before it finally stopped and the tube shattered all around her as she put her arms above her head to keep the glass from scratching her head. As she expected to feel the glass shards cut her hands. But thankfully they just slid off of her like snow. As that was odd. Now, all around her feet was just a ring of snow. 

But that roller coaster of a ride had made her sick but she wanted to throw up. But she couldn’t. She needed to get to a phone. She opened what felt like a closet door to find another house around her as she quickly grabbed the phone to call the number. 

“Yes, go ahead.” She heard a male voice answer on the other side. 

“Hi, Hi, Night Action! Jade. Soap. Ivy. Dove.” She read off the first line that her grandfather had written down. 

“Thank you. Is this Pheonix or Raine?” He asked. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. What is going on? Who is this? Who did I call?” Tatum cried as she heard him take a measured breath. 

“What was the name of your primary school?” He asked.

“What primary school? I went to school in the US. Is that like an elementary school or something?” Teagan replied. 

“Ma’am. You’ve called the wrong number. I have to keep this line free.” He tried to dismiss. 

“No! Don’t hang up! My grandparents told me to call you. Jude and Hyacinth Smithenson. My grandparents are in trouble. They portaled me to…I don’t know where, they gave me this paper and told me to say “ Hi, Hi! Night Action!” and then ‘Jade, soap, ivy, dove and to tell you that “the hub is compromised, infiltrated and ambushed and that the hub is being flushed”. But you have to help them! Someone cut the power to their house. And the house is being surrounded and they’re probably after me too! I felt it. At least a few dozen people jumped all around my grandparents house. It was like a pack of wolves!” She exclaimed as she read the rest of the message. 

“The hub was compromised? infiltrated? And ambushed?!” He repeated, in shock. 

“Yes! You have to send someone to help them! They wrote down that they were flushing it though? What does that mean?” She asked before she heard him repeat what she had just told him. 

“What’s happening?” She asked before she heard him tell whoever else he was talking to- the address of her grandparent’s place. 

“What’s your name?” The guy on the other side of the call asked. 

“Teagan, Teagan Smitherson. I’m their granddaughter.” She answered before he seemed to whisper something under his breath that, if she had to guess, sounded like an ‘oh shit’. 

“Teagan. I’m Payton. The phone that you’re calling from, does it have a pie symbol on it, like the  square root of pie?” He asked before she pulled it away and looked at it. 

“Yes.” She confirmed. 

“Press that key. And the phone will tell me where you are so I can send you the right help.” He instructed before she did. But only a few seconds later, she felt a tingle and someone jumped to the middle of the street as she saw the rifle across their chest.  

“Shit, what kind of signal did I just set off? Someone just jumped outside the house!” She asked. 

“What?!” He exclaimed before he started barking off all kinds of codes and orders on the other side. 

“Teagan, I’m just now getting the signal here. Is the place you’re in- have either a basement or an upstairs?” He asked. 

“Both. I think.” She answered. 

“Ok, what you’re going to do is open the door to the basement and then run upstairs. But stay low and try not to get seen. 

“It’s gonna be hard with this backpack on my back.” She offered. 

“Then take the backpack off and throw it into the basement before you go upstairs. Chances are, they’re tracking whatever is in the backpack.” Payton directed her before she did as he told her and opened the pantry, then the bathroom before finally finding the door to the basement and tossed it down the stairs before she quickly and quietly closed the doors and then crouched and went towards the stairs. 

“Ok, the backpack is in the basement, I’m headed up the stairs. Now what?” She asked. 

“Get to any room with a locking door. Lock it and then leave it closed but not inside the room itself. But it’s going to give you time for help to come. Get to the farthest bedroom. Do not lock that door, but hide in the closet.” He instructed her before she heard the other jumper break into the house next door and then, the gun that they had, was being fired. 

“They’ve followed me here, they’re going to the other houses and they’re shooting the neighbors!” She whispered in a whimper from the closet before she heard guns go off form all the houses all around her. 

“They’re shooting all the neighbors! All around me! More jumped after me!” There’s a whole group of them!” She breathed before the door got kicked in downstairs. 

“Shit! They’re here! They’re inside! They’re gonna find me! But Grandma told me not to jump.” She shuddered as tears streaked down her face. 

“Yes, don’t jump. They will follow you. Don’t jump. We just need to get to you first. But for now, be quiet, be as quiet as you can be. But if they get to you first, fight, fight for your life and fight like hell until we can get to you ok?” He tried to coach her before the intruders came up the stairs. 

“You still with me Teagan?” He asked, but all he heard was shuddering breath. 

“Press the pound sign if you can’t talk.” He told her before she did. 

“It’s gonna be ok. Help is only seconds away. I have an entire team coming for you. And they will be in the house in only a second.” He tried to say before she felt the tingle and then suddenly all around her, a whole group jumped into every room of the house and suddenly all the guns were going off before she was in another glass box, this one, not moving but bullets were bouncing off of it. She was essentially a goldfish and in fishbowl. She could see and hear but not escape. She felt so helpless as she heard the barrage of gunfire all around her but was helpless to either help or escape. 

Then, once again, silence before the glass vanished. 

“Teagan? Teagan Smitherson?” She heard her name. 

“Someone is calling my name.” She breathed into the phone. 

“That’s Commander Juno. You can answer her, you’re safe.” He told her as he breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Juno?” Teagan finally answered before the closet door was opened. 

“Hi Teagan. I’m Juno Bexly. Payton sent me here to get you. You’re safe now.” Juno offered as she offered Teagan her hand to help her to her feet. 

“You’re safe now Teagan. That’s Commander Juno. She’s a badass. She’ll take great care of you from here on out ok? You did great. I’m so proud of you. You’re gonna be ok.” Payton offered. 

“Thank you Payton. Thank you for helping me.” Teagan tearfully offered. 

“You’re welcome. Happy to help. I’m gonna hang up now ok? I’m gonna check up on your grandparents.  You’ll be ok.” Payton urged. 

“Yes, please, thank you. Goodbye.” She answered before she hung up the phone. 

“Is the backpack still in the basement?” Teagan asked Juno. 

“No, they got it before we could get here. Half of them jumped out the moment we jumped in. Half of my team is jumping after them and hunting them down. We killed all the others.” She offered as Teagan watched as the dead bodies were tagged and then jumped to somewhere else.

“What about the neighbors?” Teagan tearfully asked. 

“They’re all dead, aren’t they?” Teagan asked before Juno nodded. 

“All for me? All for…a backpack?! What the fuck was in that thing?” Teagan asked before Juno enveloped her into a hug. 

“I don’t know. But backpacks can be replaced. You can’t.” Juno tried to offer. 

“But what about Granny and Papa? Are they still alive?” Teagan asked. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t heard.” Juno offered. 

“But for now, let’s just get you somewhere safe ok?” Come on, I’m gonna jump us back to base.

“Wait, where am I?” She asked. 

“We’re in a suburb of Nashville Tennessee.” She answered. 

“But…But I jumped from Oregon.” Teagan offered. 

“Actually you jumped a hundred and eleven times around the world. Which is why we had such a hard time tracking you and finding you. But now, we’re about to jump to Washington D.C.” Juno informed her before they stepped onto a jump pad. But Juno jumped. Teagan was simply left to stand there. 

“Oh shit. Boss, we have a problem. Miss Smitherson can’t jump.” Someone reported. 

“That’s ridiculous.” Juno answered before she jumped back and tried to jump again. 

“What the fuck is going on?” Juno barked at the others. 

“I don’t know.” They offered before they tried to give Teagan a body tag and the body tag itself jumped, but not her. 

“General Jordan, we have a problem. We can not get the target to jump.” Juno reported into a radio on her shoulder. 

“Try every dimensional jump we can.” General Jordan offered before Teagan was moved from pad to pad as they were all set up around the house. But with no success. 

“What the everloving fuck?” Juno growled. 

“This is not your fault Teagan. This is not your fault. I just have never had any being not be able to jump before.” Juno quickly reassured her. 

“When my grandma sent me, she put me in a glass tube.” Teagan volunteered. 

“And right before you came, another glass tube came around me.” Teagan added. 

“Gods damn it.” Juno hissed in realization. 

“Hey General Jordan. I think have to Glass Cannon her.” Juno informed her superior. 

“Glass Cannon?” Teagan repeated. 

“Glass Cannons is a very, very specific form of jumping. It takes glass from the mirror realm to encase the subject in a bullet proof, perfect case, The only time the glass cannon shatters is when it delivers the payload to a final destination. That’s how you survived 111 jumps with no harm to your being whatsoever, most can’t do more than 20 without getting violently ill.” Juno explained. 

“When I jumped here, the glass shattered. I expected it to cut me.” Teagan answered.

“Where? Where did it jump you here?” Juno asked before Teagan led them to the downstairs closet and the moment they opened the closet, it looked like there was a heap of snow on the floor of the closet before everyone else took a huge step back as Juno pulled Teagan away and behind her.   

“Oh shit. This isn’t normal glass. This is….this is snow glass. It’s the most specialized glass there is. When it breaks, it falls like snow. But it acts like fiberglass to everyone else. Only the most precious world leaders jump and portal in snow glass. Who put you into this?” Juno realized. 

“My grandparents, Hyacinth…” Teagan began. 

“And Jude Smitherson, also known as Raine’s Pheonix, orchestrators of the Central Hub.” Juno finished as she seemed to look at Teagan with more appreciation. 

“Excuse me?” Teagan asked. 

“They are very important people. I’ve never met a family member of theirs. Ok. If Raine’s Pheonix saw fit to send you in snow glass. We’ll…find a way to send you back to safety in snow glass.” Juno offered. 

“I need a snow glass sent here. Target is leaded out.” Juno directed into her communicator on her shoulder. 

“Leaded out?” Teagan asked. 

“It’s a thing for your protection. Your grandparents made it so that no one can jump you without snow glass. And no one can get that and we have to get all kinds of special permissions to even get one.” Juno admitted. 

“Captain, we have a problem. The target is leaded out. And can only be portaled through a snow glass cannon. The only way to bring her in is either we need to get one, or bring her back physically. I will need an envoy.” Juno reported. 

“Now that the target is secured. We need to secure the payload. I need your team to continue to track it.” General Joradan instructed. 

“I can take her back Sir.” Juno offered. 

“No, I need you to lead your team to secure the payload.” General Jordan contested. 

“I’ll go. It’s the least I can do for Raine’s Pheonix.” Payton offered from beside the General who had come into Headquarters once alerted that Raine’s Pheonix and the central hub had fallen. 

“Ok, go.” General Jordan insisted before Payton vanished into a shadow and came out of a second one on the other side as Juno nearly jumped out of her skin. But Teagan had turned her head towards the darkness seconds before Payton got out of it. 

“I hate it when you do that Blackwater.” Juno complained. 

“Sorry. Miss Smithenson.” He offered to Teagan. 

“You’re Payton. From the phone.” Teagan recognized his voice. 

“Yes. I understand that you’re leaded out. Practically bullet proof.” Payton began as Teagan blinked in surprise. 

“That’s what she meant.” Teagan whispered. 

“That’s what who meant?” Payton asked. 

“My grandmother, before she put me in that snow glass cannon. She said she would make me bulletproof.” Teagan repeated as she reached up to rub her neck where her grandmother had injected her. 

“Did she say anything else?” Payton asked. 

“It’s um, it’s just all fuzzy and then a blurr.” Teagan offered. 

“Well, it’s been a rough night. You should be getting some sleep. I’ll get you somewhere safe, away from all of this.” Payton offered as he gestured the shot to smithereens house. 

“Thank you.” Teagan nodded. 

“Do you trust Payton?” Teagan murmured to Juno as she was reluctant to let go of Juno’s arm. 

“Oh yeah. You’re in great hands. Think of me as a first responder and he’s a whole damn Emergency Room, if not- the whole ass hospital. He will protect you with his life. He has some real power behind him, I only have my team. I’m gonna hunt the bastards down and give those caught in the crossfire tonight, justice.” Juno nodded.

“Well, teamwork makes the dream work right?” Teagan reminded her. 

“Of course. Besides, with just you and him, you’ll be able to move to the D.C. Headquarters a lot easier and quicker than me and my team could get you there. One woman being protected by 6 armed body guards in a three SUV caravan is gonna turn some heads. But just the two of you traveling alone are gonna look like a couple on a road trip. No one is gonna give you and him a second thought or glance. You’ll practically be invisible to the average set of eyes. Plus Payton practically sets the standard for asset care. But when I’m done hunting, I’ll come back and check up on you ok?” Juno offered. 

“Ok. Thank you Juno. Good luck.” Teagan offered as she gave Juno another hug. 

“You’ll be ok. You’re in safe hands.” Juno reassured Teagan. 

“Here, since you had to throw off your backpack to throw your scent off. Take this ok? It’s practically a standard issue asset bug out bag. Chances are, that backpack was just a bug out bag. This is another one. It’ll get you by until you can get to home base, ok? You’ll be ok. Don’t be afraid to take and use everything in it ok? Think of this as a gift, one that you never have to pay back ok? Your grandparents most likely sent you with a bug out bag and you had to dump yours to throw off your scent. This is just a replacement,, ok?” Juno offered before she handed Teagan a duffle bag that was handed to her from another teammate. 

“Thanks.” Teagan offered as she took it from her and tried not to fall over when she felt like the bag weighed half as much as she did. 

“Come on, we should get out of here.” Payton invited before he escorted her out of there and into a vehicle parked in the driveway before Teagan got in the passenger side and just stared, rather blankly at her hands with the duffle bag between her feet as Payton began to drive out of there before a series of clean up vans came driving into the cul de sac as Teagan recognized the name of the cleaners. 

“The Wright Clean.” Teagan scoffed when she recognized it. That’s what they were really doing. They were probably always cleaning this kind of thing up. 

But now, how big was this mess that she found herself in now? And how far would go?

[lovely-btch]

The Beginning of it All 

Bag? Check. Cloak? Check. Magic items? Check. I'm ready to go! And as soon as I step out the door I trip and fall flat on my face. Great way to start my journey. And I hear…. laughing, Great, Jem’s laughing at me. 

“You're not gonna-gonna get very f-far if you trip and fall-ll flat on your face every two-two seconds!” He says while laughing at me.

“Shut up Jem!”

“Now now Jem, be nice to your sister.” I know that voice, Mom! I catch a quick glimpse of her short black hair and horns.

“Oh honey you know he's at least at least a little right.  Butterfly’s not gonna get far enough out of the village by sun down if she keeps tripping.” And Mother of course she's here, I mean why wouldn't she be since she's the one who taught me everything.

Great, next thing I know Akane is gonna show up.  And I thought too soon. He's here and he is giggling as well. 

          “C'mon sis stand up.” Akane said. Great, I was so focused on my family that I didn't realize that i've yet to stand up.

“ And I'm up now, happy?” 

“ Very much so Butterfly but your dress is all covered in mud.” Mother stated. Fan-freaking-tastic, my favorite dress is now covered in the everlasting mud of the little run-down village we live in. 

“Ok we are all here, now is there anything you wanna say to us before you leave us for basically forever Sweetheart?”

“Um, I love you all? Especially you Mom!”

          “ Hey that's mean little sis! Akane back me up!”

          “No.” Geez Akane is as cold as ever.

Hehe, I'm gonna miss this all. The constant yelling, the kids at the orphanage that I help out at, the run-down bar with the crumbling roof that have the best roasted fire frog in the world in my opinion, just everything.

          “I should get going now, bye everyone!” I yell as I run away, waving goodbye to them all.

          “Goodbye!” They all yell.

I run fast past the orphanage, the children spilling out the doors and windows yelling and crying at me to return, past the bar the local drunks and bartenders waving and shouting encouragement, past my friends old house, maybe i'll find out where they moved to on my journey.

I'm out of the populated area, I see the gate just beyond it is my new life, a new journey. Ok breathe in, breathe out. Double check my stuff. All my books? Check. Extra clothes? Check. Wing binder? Yep. Ok i've got everything i need and im approaching the gate. Ahhhh! This is so exciting and nerve racking! Oh Sam is the one at the gate today that's good. He's always been so nice like a grandpa, he's one of the first people I met when I first moved here. 

“So you're leaving today huh little missy?”

“Hehe ya you know i'm gonna miss you and everyone else.”

“I know we all know little Missy, and believe this old man we’ll miss you too. Now get going, no time for dilly dallying.”

“Oh right! Bye Grandpa Sam!”

Ok again breathe in breathe out. Let's go! Wow! It's so pretty, all the trees standing tall and proud, casting shade over me. Branches hanging down just close enough to brush my fingers against them. Wait, focus! Mother told me that to truly leave I have to get past the serpent that roams outside the gates. It's weird that I haven't seen it yet considering the fact that I've been walking for ten minutes now. Wait! What was that? Hup! What the!? That's the serpent, it's huge! 

“ Ugh, guess I have to fight you now. I really don't want to do this.” And just as I say that it launches at me with its fangs bared. I quickly pull my staff from its place on my belt.

“Witches flame.”

Burning hot purple and black fire shot out of my staff at the serpent. It recoiled in pain. I quickly step to the side as its tail smashes to the ground where I was once standing.

“Ugh, you're so annoying!”

As soon as I say that I send out a large blast of fire at the serpent's head. It collapses onto the ground in a heap. Dead, it's dead. OK. like normal breathe in breathe out. Just turn around and walk away. And I did exactly that. I start nearing the edge of the forest the farther I walk soon enough I'm there staring out at the expansive flower field bursting forth at me beyond the hanging trees.

“Now my journey can really begin.”

(Please be nice about this since I’m not great at writing)

[mrthoughtbubbles]

Ever since I was a child, papa would always listen to songs that Grandpa would listen to, mainly because he grew up listening to those songs as well, and based on which one he would usually listen to, I think his favorite is either Nat King Cole or Frank Sinatra.

Since I've been listening to their songs for a very long time, it kind of molded my view on certain things, like love for example. Just like what this song states, "When I fall in love, it will be forever. " I admit that I still love all the ladies I tried to court before. I understand that that's a big red flag, but hear me out. When I say I love still love someone, it doesn't mean that I still want to pursue a romantic relationship with the said person, especially if someone made me promise that we can't see each other again or when my family makes me promise that I won't pursue someone ever again. When I say I still love someone, the romantic type of love that I feel before changes to a friendly kind of love that wants them to be happy and thriving, even if I'm no longer part of the picture.

I believe that love can change over time. It can be philia>eros>ludus>pragma or it can go from romantic love to a friendly kind of love if things don't work out, but never go to mania because that's unhealthy. Kind of ironic coming from a person who has an unhealthy eating habits, but anyways, I hope that you get my point. Don't go cray cray for love that you're ready to do heinous acts for your lover.

Anyways, from what I can infer, the things you are exposed to as a child are the building blocks of who you'll be when you grow up because they can influence your perspective on certain matters.

[thewertsearch]

Asks compilation: 09/05

God ok that actually sounds like it would work really well. John would be a huge McElroy fan, wouldn’t he?

I just looked up the Washington accent to compare it to Griffin’s, and wow, my mental voice for John is completely different. I probably have all the wrong accents for these characters in my head, since I don’t have a clue which accent maps to which state. 

At least we’re all in the same boat about not knowing Jade’s accent - unless we learn where Grandpa grew up later on, since she’d probably have picked up his.

Brilliant! Yeah, no, I’ve been trying to nail down that font for ages.

Dammit, I just realized I could have inspected homestuck.com’s source >:(

It narrowly edges out Gen 4, for me. D/P/Pt were great, but Black and White were the games which really perfected the formula. I honestly don’t think they should have gone 3D, but whatcha gonna do?

Oh my god, of course there are. I’m going to rewatch that show some day and lose my mind, aren’t I?

Hey, thanks for the ask! 

I thought about this back when I was first starting the blog. I dunno, though. You’re really not missing much - my live reactions aren’t nearly as coherent as the writeups - mostly just a lot of ‘oh my god, what?’ moments. I write more articulately than I speak. Trust me on this. 

I’m honestly impressed you came up with something more headache inducing than the bogo algorithm, which for the uninitiated literally means ‘randomly shuffle a list until it’s sorted’. 

aw fuck we’re getting a bogo modus aren’t we

I like Bogleech’s writing, especially his creature design reviews, but I could never get more than a handful of pages into Awful Hospital. I respect his commitment to the stereotypically ‘gross’ organic aesthetic, but it kind of just squicks me out. Plus, I dunno. The premise is really dark, but the comic seems to be a full-on comedy. The dissonance just doesn’t really work for me. 

Still, though. Pokéween is some of my favorite writing on the web. Check out his stuff. 

I’ve never been super into horror. Mind you, I like having something to listen to when I’m out on a walk, and I’ve heard good things about the Magnus Archives, so maybe this is my opportunity to give it another chance?

No, yeah, we have a winner. Step aside, Broderick.

I have come to accept that Hussie is just really prone to making unintentional references. When Dave Strider is one of your primary characters, you probably can’t avoid constantly referencing pop culture - even, it seems, accidentality!

The Queen is dead! everything has gone to shit! Long live Jack the Ascended!  

Haha, I never considered that tumblr’s format does kind of resemble John and CG’s inverted conversations, in a way. When you reblog a connected pair of joke posts, you even have to make sure to reblog them backwards, or you’ll invert them! 

Ah, indie devs. Heads, they’re legends, tails, they’re assholes. 

I’ve never played it, but it’s been sitting in my steam library for months! If it’s anything like Celeste, I should have started playing it yesterday. Lore is pretty much the only thing Celeste is missing - not that it needs it. 

Those giant Underlings are nothing compared to what you see in Pipecorp. This is just another day in the office for Harold P. Egbert. 

Awesome! Yeah, I already see why the comic’s music is so popular. And considering we’ve got Toby ‘Leitmotifs’ Fox on the music team, these are all sure to return. 

So what, it’s like, Act 6: Act 1? We’re going to start recursing?

Don’t lie to me, guys. This comic is a fractal, isn’t it? It goes on forever, the sub-acts shrinking into the infinitesimal. 

I know not what awaits me. 

Six, right? Based on the above ask, there can’t be room for any more, unless they shrink dramatically after Act 6. 

I have no idea how many sub-acts there could be, though. Once you pop open that can of worms, you can’t easily close it. 

Done! From now on, all theoryposts will be tagged #theories!

Yeah, noted! I didn’t expect Homestuck to require the equivalent of waiting for the post-credits scene, but here we are?

In what sense? The Trollslum showed up pretty soon after Jade’s intro, and CG chimed in up not long after. The sense I always got was that Hussie improvised a lot of the comic, but maybe the trolls were a particularly spontaneous addition?

Liveblogging a liveblog! I can get behind that. Yeah, like I’ve alluded to before, I’d be having a very different experience with this comic if I wasn’t reading it in bite-sized chunks. 

Thank you!! I’m really trying to convey the same feelings that I’m getting while I’m reading this comic. I’m glad it’s working!

Honestly, my guessing technique is essentially just throwing theories at the wall to see what sticks. 

I usually have like, two or three explanations for a a given event in the comic, which means I can be eerily correct and ironically wrong about the same thing -  or ironically wrong twice over, as is probably more likely.