#I mean there's obviously the fact that i havent' met a lot of people and that i am closed off and stuff but at least in my old school in

[woahajimes]

i feel such an incredibly frustriating yearn

[themrsbueckers]

ppl on tumblr genuinely be leaving me flabbergasted bcs if u get into a argument they immediately try to act like they know you and shit. like you literally have never met me and youre trying to tell me what I do and what I like or how long IVE liked it. and this isnt directed to that one person i responded to earlier its to a lot of ppl bcs theyre not the only person. its just so funny because even when the whole pazzi thing was happening people were mad at me and started trying to act like they know me or other crap like that😭

ive had ppl try and tell me im unhealthy obsessed with paige or in a parasocial relationship with paige BCS MY DADS LAST NAME IS BUECKER SO OBVIOUSLY MINE WOULD BE TO and why would i not take that as a opportunity to use it as a JOKE for my username??

like its genuinely so funny watching people get mad and try and state FACTS about ME like this isnt literally TUMBLR and none of us knows eachother unless we’re literally friends or smth off social media AND IM NOT FRIENDS WITH ANY OF YALL IN PERSON and thats not to be mean but im literally not😭

anyways lol theres more to it i just didnt feel like ranting THAT much this morning

if anyone else has had a situation like that, you get me, if you havent, dont respond on some dumb shit respectfully 🌚🌚

[bueckers-sturniolo]

i have literally been begging for someone to write a paige fic based on “Slut!” by TS like the parts that’s like “if i’m all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us” where reader is famous and gets like hated on for being a “slut” 💁‍♀️💁‍♀️

“slut!”

paige bueckers x female!reader

a/n: hi guys!!! sorry it took me so long to edit this and actually post it. i don’t have much to say but THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE ON THE ALCHEMY!!! i promise part 2 is coming soon!!! ps: this may suck a little but i wrote it in an hour and a half so im sorry!!! also, this hasnt been proofread bc its 6 am and i havent slept! hope u somewhat enjoy!!! love uuuu!

warnings: naur, just swearing :)

word count: somewhere around 1k-ish

-

got love-struck, went straight to my head. got lovesick all over my bed. love to think you’ll never forget. we’ll pray the price, i guess.

you had been dating paige for 5 months, now. she was the best person you had ever met, and an even better lover than you could have ever imagined. but, being in the public eye isn’t necessarily ideal, especially when you’re queer. paige was a basketball player at uconn, and you had been famous for a few years. you had been famous before you knew paige, and even before paige was famous. it’s awesome, and you love it. the lifestyle can be very rewarding and enjoyable.

but, being ‘famous’ comes with its faults. as most things do. over the years, you had developed this sort of…. title. this title being that you are some kind of insane serial-dater. it was pretty ridiculous. of course, paige loved you for you, and didn’t really give a fuck as to what people had to say about you. but, it’s still obviously hurtful, and paige gets that.

present day, the epsy’s were coming up. this is something that meant a lot to your girlfriend. and, quite frankly, you’d do anything to make her happy.

until that thing was going as her date (or +1) to the epsy’s. not that you didn’t want to, not that it was because you were gay. but, because you knew how much this could mess with both of your careers. you didn’t really care about your own, cause people are gonna talk about you regardless, but paige’s social presence made it hard to just come out and do whatever you guys want.

“i mean, i’d just really want you there. we can like…. coincide outfits ‘n shit.” paige says, looking over at you, eating a bite of her cereal.

“yeah, p. i understand.” you say, sighing. you look down at your hands, acting like you were paying attention to anything to distract her (and yourself) from the fact that you really just do not know how it would go, and that fact is stressful in itself.

“baby, if you don’t want to go, it’s fine. im just saying it would be cool.” she says, and you meet her eyes again.

you know she’s right. it would be really fuckin’ cool. but like, at the same time, you really didn’t want to have to receive all of the texts from your publisher of news articles with pictures of you and paige where they essentially just put your name in bold letters then talk about how much of a slut you are for dating 4 people in your approximate 5 years of being famous.

yes, it may seem like a lot. but, also, most of these relationships only lasted a few months. you never necessarily wanted them to go public, but, they almost always did. that’s why you and paige took extra precautions.

obviously, one day, you wanted to tell people about you and paige. but, you wanted it to be when you guys had atleast made it past the new relationship stage.

but, if im all dressed up, they might as well be lookin’ at us. and if they call me a ‘slut,’ you know, it might be worth it for once. and if im gonna be drunk, i might as well be drunk in love.

you couldn’t help but give in. there was exactly a week before the epsy’s, and even though you’d kept telling paige you really didn’t think going was a good idea, you felt so bad for saying it that you randomly changed your mind.

“p, come here.” you say, calling from the couch in your living room. she walked in the room, hands on her hips, sleeves rolled up. she was loading the dishwasher for you, as the ‘gentleman’ she was (in a world of boys, (s)he’s a gentleman.)

“yes, baby? what’s wrong?” she says, walking toward you and sitting down, resting an arm on the back of the couch behind your head. “i wanna go with you, p. ill go with you to the awards.” as you say this, you fiddle with the hem of her basketball shorts.

“you wanna go with me? seriously?” she perks up. her whole face immediately lights up. this was the reason you were doing it. that reaction right there.“yes, love. i want to go with you.” she grabs your chin, pulling your face closer to her and gently pressing a kiss to your temple.

“you know, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. i know you don’t want to read about all of the stupid shit men online say about you. they don’t even know you and it’s so infuriating that they think they can talk about my baby like that. my sweet, sweet girl...” she rubs your side, kissing your temple gently a few more times while babbling a few more sweet names in your ear.

“i know, p. but, i also know i don’t owe anyone shit, and if i want to go out in public with you, i shouldnt be scared. i mean- it’s just…. like, i just want keep hiding us because of the fact that people always have some stupid shit to say. you know, if they call me a whore or if they call me a slut, it might be worth it. it may just be worth it this once.” she smiles ear to ear as you say this. seconds after this, she tackles you onto the couch, pecking all over your face as she tickles your sides.

half asleep, takin’ your time in the tangerine neon lights. this is luxury. you’re not saying you’re in love with me, but, you’re goin’ to. half away, takin’ your chance, it’s a big mistake. i said, ‘it might blow up in your pretty face.’ im not sayin’ do it anyway, but you’re going to.

the night finally arrives. you guys are both getting your hair done. paige is wearing a lilac suit, and she looks ridiculously attractive. you were wearing a white dress with lilac heels, to coincide with her.

you guys get to the carpet, and it feels so surreal. you guys are finally out together and it’s just fucking insane. she does a few interviews, and they even ask you for your own pictures (even though you’re not an athlete)

the awards themselves are good, paige presents and even changes suits. she looks fuckin’ phenomenal.

but, then the after-party comes. the lights are tangerine and kinda dim, everyone’s drunk, and some people are even outside in a swimming pool. (???)

you had been to award shows yourself, but this was so cool. paige grabs you guys drinks throughout the night, careful not to get too wasted, but enough to get a little tipsy. by the end of the afterparty, so many pictures of you guys had been taken you felt like it was kinda too hard to hide your relationship from the world anymore.

while this wasn’t the main goal of tonight whatsoever, paige decided it was time to make your relationship social media official. she thought you deserved to be loved out loud, and honestly she couldn’t give any less of a fuck who said what. you loved her. she loved you. that’s all that mattered.

@paigebueckers

liked by kamoreaarnold and others

paigebueckers: Cats out of the bag I guess 🐈👜

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kamoreaarnold: Photo creds on slide 3

> paigebueckers: @kamoraarnold Best photographer 🙌

yourusername: wow she’s cute who is that

> paigebueckers: @/yourusername Idiot

>> yourusername: @/paigebueckers 😁

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[queenofsimpsblog]

believe me - shuri x reader

A/N: IM SO SORRY I HAVENT WRITTEN A DECENT STORY IN SO LONG!! LIFE HAS JUST BEEN REALLY HAYWIRE FOR ME RECENTLY, BUT HEY I FINALLY WROTE SOMETHING!!

also heads up the reader is poc (obviously) but has a white father… BUT YOU BEST BELIEVE SHE MOCKS WHITE PEOPLE ALL THE TIME

i feel like at this point all the reader inserts in my stories have tony as their dad but a black/poc mom, and i kinda love the idea of tony simping for a woman of colour so we’re going with this

this story takes place about 2 years after wakanda forever

“i just get a bad vibe from her,” you ranted to riri as you did your hair for the day. your braids weren’t co-operating so you just decided to throw them up into low space buns.

“are you sure this ain’t just jealousy?” she asked and you snapped your head to your phone which was placed on your vanity.

“no! of course not! i just get a bad vibe from that mara chick,”

“maya,” riri corrected you and you rolled your eyes.

“yeah yeah whatever. the bitch is on to something. i’m telling you. besides. shuri is my best friend. i’m allowed to be protective over her.”

“right. and the fact that you confessed your feelings to shuri 3 months ago and the fact that she rejected you, has nothing to do with this. obviously,” you sneered at the girl staring back at you. riri had the habit of being way too honest sometimes. but you knew she meant well.

and technically, she wasn’t lying. you’d known shuri since your dad, tony stark, took you to meet t’challa. you were about 15 back then, and about 20 when your dad sacrificed his life to save the universe. as a symbol of goodwill and gratitude, t’challa invited you to move to wakanda, and you accepted the offer.

you became best friends with shuri since the day you met her. as predicted, you fell in love with her rapidly. after a lot of convincing from riri, you gathered up the courage to confess your feelings to her.

*flashback brought to you by riri’s speakers that okoye so graciously sliced in half*

you cleared your throat to get shuri’s attention. as always, she was in her lab, tinkering away on some invention of hers.

she raised her head to look at you. “hey, what’s up?”

“i need to talk to you. alone,” shuri nodded and grabbed your hand, leading you up the stairs of her lab to her ‘break room’ where you could have some more privacy.

“what bothers you?”

your pulse was racing. your heart was pounding. you thought to yourself: i’ve made it this far. i can do this.

“shuri, i have to confess something. i’m in love with you. i have been for a really long time. and i was so terrified to tell you. but i realised that i couldn’t keep it a secret anymore. it’s alright if you don’t feel the same way, but i just needed you to know.”

you looked up to make eye contact with shuri. her eyes showed shock, surprise, and then something you dreaded.

pity.

you knew the idea of her liking you was absolutely ridiculous. but seeing her look at you like that just felt as if someone ripped your heart out and tore it into a million shreds.

“i’m sorry y/n, but i don’t feel the same about you. and i guess i forgot to tell you that i… have a girlfriend,”

goddamnit it!

you didn’t say anything. you wanted to talk. but you just couldn’t. your throat just closed up. so you did what you thought was best, and just bolted out of the room. you could hear shuri call for you, but you didn’t have the heart to look back. you just ran, and went back to your apartment, and cried your eyes out.

*end of flashback*

you shook your head, trying to rid your mind of that memory. somehow, you and shuri still remained friends. she said that things didn’t have to be awkward between you both. it was sweet that she wanted the friendship to stay the same, but insensitive at the same time. i mean, how can she expect you to just move on like that?!

either way, you said goodbye to riri and gathered your things, leaving your apartment to head to the lab. you worked in weapon design, but today you were most likely to help with assembling as the lab was short staffed today.

you sighed as you walked into the lab, smiling at the dora milaje outside and making your way towards your station, where a bunch of your unfinished works lay taunting you.

you cracked your knuckles and hit play on your lab playlist, shrugging off your jacket as you grabbed a screwdriver. you spent the next hour or so fixing up the first project before moving on to the second one. you were, how you say, ‘in the zone’. your day was going very productive, until your focus was interrupted by a fit of giggles.

“baby, stop,” a voice giggled out. you didn’t need to turn around to see who it was.

maya. the girlfriend who you just didn’t like.

“i can’t help it, usana. i just love you so much,” shuri spoke and then you heard them kissing. the thought itself made you wanna throw up.

“yeah okay i can’t take more of this,” you said and turned up the volume. ‘girls in the hood’ by megan thee stallion blasted in the lab as you lifted a hammer, trying to fix up the piece of vibranium you needed to finish off the modified spear you were making.

“y/n, hey!” shuri said as she walked up to you, turning down the volume of your music to be able to talk to you better.

“hi shuri,” your gaze stayed on the hammer, not wanting to look at her.

she cleared her throat. “so… what you working on?”

“the modified spear. if i can build it right, this one should be able to electrocute people when wielded. the blueprints look great, but i didn’t realise how tedious it would be to build this stupid thing,” you huffed out and shuri laughed. god, you loved her laugh.

“anyways, i wanted to ask if you were coming to the party this saturday?” you looked up at her in confusion.

“maya wanted to throw one. she thinks i need to let loose more,” shuri sighed, “i need a friend there to help me get through the night,”

you laughed at the image of shuri pushing her way through the crowded dance floor. she hated crowds like that.

“yeah, for sure, i’ll be there. i’ll drag riri too,”

shuri cheered and you smiled at her stupid antics. you talked to each other for a few more minutes until you were disrupted.

“hi, my love,” maya looped her arms around shuri’s waist and stared at her with a look of ‘adoration’. you could easily tell it was fake, but shuri looked really happy and you didn’t want to ruin it for her.

“hello maya,” you sneered out and managed to shoot her a fake smile. she returned it. “i hope you’re coming to the party i’m throwing?”

“wouldn’t miss it,” you grimaced. she chucked and looked you up and down. “i hope you dress well this time,” this bitch had a fucking death wish to talk to you like that. the only thing stopping you from yeeting your wrench at her face was that shuri was right in front of you.

“anyways, if you’ll excuse me, i really need to finish this,” you ushered maya away. shuri frowned at your behaviour but understood that you had work to do and left as well. before you knew it, the day ended and you were on your way back home.

you changed into some pyjamas and made a sandwich for dinner, not having the energy to make something too elaborate. just as you were about to take the first bite, your phone rang. you groaned and answered the call.

“bitch who takes so long to pick up a call?!” riri’s voice bursted from the phone.

“i was eating dinner,” you mumbled, eating your sandwich.

“okay, listen. summer break starts tomorrow and shuri asked me to come to wakanda for the month. i’m obviously gonna be living with you the entire time,”

“duh,”

“oh and before i forget! she told me about some party maya’s throwing this weekend?!” you rolled your eyes at the mention of her name.

“yeah, i really don’t wanna go but i don’t have a choice,”

“i still don’t get why you hate maya so much. i’ve texted her a couple times and she seems really nice.” you gasped dramatically in mock betrayal.

“dude i don’t really know how to explain it. it’s just… you know when you meet someone and they act nice to you but you can kinda tell that they’re faking it? it’s something like that. i’m telling you, she doesn’t actually love shuri. she’s just using her. but obviously i can’t go tell shuri about this without sounding crazy. so i need to gather evidence,”

“evidence?! girl this ain’t no damn cop show!”

“you trust me, right?” you asked your friend.

riri sighed. “of course i do. i always do. i just think that you might be blowing this out of proportion a little bit. it’s completely plausible that maya is a normal girl that shuri is into. and honestly, it’s a little unhealthy for you to fixate on this so much.”

you raised an eyebrow. “what do you mean?”

“you’ve been ranting about how ‘evil’ maya secretly is. but has she ever actually done something shady? besides, you’re supposed to be getting over shuri. planning on how to prove maya is a bitch— which she isn’t— isn’t gonna help. you have to move on. you have to let her go.”

“look, i get where you’re coming from. but i promise you, this isn’t jealousy. yeah, shuri rejected me. and yeah, it hurt a lot. but above all of that, she’s one of my best friends. and i want her to be safe. my gut is telling me that maya is not what she seems like. and i have to tell that to shuri, but i gotta find some dirt on her to prove it.”

riri rolled her eyes again. “if you don’t stop this crazy talk…”

“i just care about shuri. i want her to be happy, and we both know a shady girlfriend isn’t gonna help with that.”

eventually riri got fed up and just yelled, “okay fine fine! if you shut up about her for the rest of the week, we can keep a close eye on her at that party. as long as you stop hyper-fixating on this every second of the damn day,”

you cheered as riri laughed. both of you talked for a while longer until you hung up to go to sleep.

*one week later*

it was the night of the party and you and riri were in your room, getting ready together.

riri picked out a sparkly white tank top and some wide legged jeans, while you picked a sparkly black dress with full sleeves that stopped mid thigh. both of you did each others makeup and took a billion pictures before getting in a cab to go to the party venue.

maya decided to host the party at club purple, which she happened to own. you’d been there a couple times before, and knew that the third floor of the building was off limits for everyone else. you figured that if maya was hiding something, it would probably be there, seeing as she didn’t even let shuri enter that floor.

you and riri soon made it to the club and got inside, instantly spotting shuri and maya talking to some other people. you made a beeline to shuri and gave her a hug.

okay so technically speaking you weren’t fully over shuri, but hey, who’s asking?

“yay, you made it!” shuri smiled at you and then moved to hug riri.

“oh i love your outfit riri,” maya looked her up and down and shot her a smile. riri seemed to have bought it but you knew it was fake. you talked to them for a few minutes before maya left to greet some other guests.

you, shuri, and riri were sitting at this booth in one of the farther edges of the club. it was relatively secluded, but you could still hear the loud bass of the music. it was the perfect place to talk.

“so, riri, how’s college going?”

“oh well my last year starts in like 3 months, and then i have an internship at stark industries which starts in july, so i’m super psyched for that,” riri smiled.

you all continued to talk about your lives, while waitresses kept bringing you drinks and a couple snacks.

(a/n: i’ve literally never been to a club so i’m making this shit up, sry if it’s not accurate)

“these are courtesy of the owner,” the waitress winked at riri and walked away. you looked at your friend as she smiled sheepishly and shrunk into her seat.

“oh my god, i think she’s into you,” you laughed as riri dismissed you with a wave of her hand.

“no, no, club girls just like that,”

“bitch don’t be stupid! go talk to her, shuri and i will be fine here,” you ushered riri to go meet the waitress, leaving you and shuri alone.

“so,” you turned to look at shuri. “you having fun?” she rolled her eyes in annoyance and you laughed.

“shut up, you know i hate clubs,”

“i honestly don’t get why you dislike them so much. they can be pretty fun,”

“i don’t get what’s fun about paying 15 dollars for one drink and then dancing with a bunch of strangers and ending the night by crying in a disgusting bathroom,”

you laughed at her oversimplification of clubbing.

“well, when you’re with the right people, club nights aren’t that bad. unless you’re with a dirty skank who ditches you the moment you get here,” you said and took a large sip of your drink.

shuri looked taken aback and slightly offended at your answer. “was that a dig at maya?”

“what?! no,” you scoffed and tried to hide your lie. shuri knew something was up with you.

“is there something you want to tell me, y/n? something about maya?”

you sighed. maybe trying to talk to shuri might help you.

oh god. you were SO wrong.

“look, it’s not that i don’t like maya. she seems pretty alright. i just get a bad vibe from her,” you mumbled, hoping she wouldn’t hear you. but alas! for the heart shaped herb blessed her with enhanced hearing.

“why do you dislike her? and don’t tell me you don’t, cause i catch the way you glare at her whenever she comes nearby. she’s just trying to get along with you,” you could tell that shuri was starting to get pissed off. you didn’t wanna fight with her, especially at the club her girlfriend owns. so you tried to be as nice as your drunk ass could be.

“shuri, i’m your best friend! it’s my job to be wary of the people you surround yourself with. i’m just trying to keep you safe,”

“safe? oh please, you’re just jealous that i love maya and not you,” she spat out.

ouch. that stung.

at that point, you decided to just give up. clearly, shuri wasn’t going to believe you. so why bother?

you grabbed your purse with your phone and stormed off. maybe shuri tried to call for you. maybe she didn’t. you couldn’t hear much anyways as the club music blasted through your ears. you moved to a part of the club where shuri wouldn’t be able to see you. you managed to glance at riri who was talking to the waitress from earlier. you smiled at the sight.

at least one of us is having fun tonight.

you started moving your body to the beat of the music. the alcohol finally affected you as you lost the burning sensation in your heart. a girl came up to you and began to dance with you. you thought, ‘ah what the hell’ and danced with her. for a moment, you forgot about all of it. maya. shuri. everything. you lost yourself in the music and whined your hips, slowly stopping your movements when you saw maya stealthily walking up to the elevator and going to the third floor.

now, a normal person would just forget about it and continue dancing. maybe get another drink. some food. hell, a normal person might’ve even decided that they partied enough and would’ve left to go back home.

but you weren’t normal. not at all.

so you did what you originally planned to do. you left the dance floor and followed maya to the third floor, trying your best to avoid all the guards littered everywhere. she turned to go to another side of the floor, but you unfortunately didn’t see that and so you began to investigate.

somehow, you sobered up fast and your feet led you to the room at the farthest end of the hallway. the door was, surprisingly, unlocked which in hindsight was not a good sign, but then again, you were too invested to catch maya than to care about that.

the room wasn’t brightly lit, so you used your phone torch to see better. you saw a drawing board with a bunch of papers about shuri, her inventions, her security passwords, her secrets.

you took a picture of that before turning to the computer in front of you. you opened it up and it asked for a password or touch ID. you sighed and looked around the room, when you spotted some tape and a bookshelf with one book popping out. you looked at the title: beginners guide to hacking into servers.

you chuckled to yourself. holy shit, i was right all along.

there was an ink stain with a few fingerprints surrounding it. she must’ve tried to clean it up and made the stain worse by accident. you took a small piece of tape, put it over the fingerprint, and gently peeled it off. then, you moved the tape to the pad of the computer for the touch ID, and it unlocked the device.

there were multiple folders and they were all messy and disorganised, but a few caught your eye.

there was one folder titled ‘work’. you opened it and were welcomed with a billion documents. one of them titled ‘wakandan weaponry database’.

turns out, the file had tons of classified information that other countries could’ve used to take down wakanda. it was filled to the brim with details about wakanda’s army, their architecture, and ‘potential spots to attack’.

your gut instinct was right. maya was bad news. she was trying to harm the country you loved so dearly. the country where your love resides. but why? what was her motive?

quickly taking pictures of all those documents, you shut the laptop and got up from the desk, rummaging around to try and find maya’s real identity.

unfortunately, your ‘snooping around session’ was cut short.

“what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

JDHDNSHSHSYSWH I HOPE YALL LIKED THIS

should i make a tag list for part 2?

[clownfucker9000]

*holds up donation bag* shadna lore pretty please mysir?

srry if this is long and nigh incomprehensible i have A Lot of Thoughts and none of them are in order:

i've said this before but she's an orphan and she was adopted by a couple of necromancers, who started teaching her the dark arts since very young, which is uncommon but not unheard of. This makes her incredibly knowledgeable and skilled at necromancy at the relatively young age of 28, she can commune with the dead too and overall she's very sensitive to supernatural phenomena; that also makes her a weirdness magnet.

She uses her knowledge and abilities to make mad bank freelancing obviously raising the dead but also making hexes, and medium work and whatever the people willing to pay ask her to.

there is a necromancer's guild but she's not a part of it which technically makes everything she does illegal, since its not regulated, and besides that she also has the grim reapers breathing down her neck bc they see necromancy as an act against the natural order of things, which means that for a while she was constantly on the run, until she found the little town where she's currently living now.

i havent introduced him yet but still i need to point out Rex and Shadna are my ultimate Those Two Guys they are best friends forever do NOT separate, they met when Shadna was a kid and have been inseparable since then.

she's also friends with Swagdo bc he was literally living inside her walls for a while, she didnt kick his ass when she found out bc Rex begged her not to, mostly bc Rex thought she needed to make more friends; it turned out they did hit it off and since then he's been bumming off her, offering emotional support and sarcastic remarks.

her hobbies include dissociating and making arts and crafts.

She's a lesbian, currently not dating anyone but she has dated vampires and demons and gorgons and occasionally other humans.

bonus fun fact she's probably my oldest oc, i made her in 2006 and she's been with me ever since so she's so dear to me....

[syscourse-confessions]

I am (diagnosed by a trauma specialist) traumagenic. I have DID.

I feel like being traumagenic comes with so much pressure. You cant support non-traumagen systems, it feels like. That's the reason i havent said anything on my blog. it feels like a hot take in traumagen world.

Tulpamancy is a bad word, I listen to what people say about it, specifically people who are from the groups having their culture appropriated... but non-traumagenic systems aren't all bad. I can acknowledge the parts of the whole community that can be improved while still being a bit of a fan of them.

You know what all of this reminds me of? Neopronouns. Bear with me.

I used to be disgusted by neopronoun users, when i was way younger. Before i used them, obviously. I bought all the rhetoric! "They make trans people look bad", "they make nonbinary people look bad!" "they're making a mockery out of us" "they have so many excuses!" "they aren't really nonbinary, they need to find a different word for it."

Sound familiar? I don't think i need to spell it out. Replace some words with others and you get anti-NTG syscourse.

I know pointing out similarities in discourse is not mind-blowing. You can do this with lots of things. But i feel like if you take a closer look, think about *posts* that you are *casually reading* EVEN IF ITS NOT ESSAYS OR ADVERTISEMENTS and even if you aren't boosting them, then you'll notice a good amount of syscourse boils down to kneejerk reactions, bad analysis of good facts, fair points that propose insane solutions.

You cringe at them, look at the science for traumagenic systems and say "they aren't like us, but they're using OUR resources and OUR words!" not even realising that they *also* need our resources and our words. They aren't appropriating our language, they're using it. Getting top surgery as a trans person isn't depriving breast cancer survivors, to use an analogy of a recent ask from an anon. The science doesn't even matter, and if they're trying to justify their experiences by proving they can be the same as us just sans trauma, that's because YOU have made them feel like they have to in order to exist. You make fair points about cultural appropriation, really good points actually, points that I can't contest and do not want to. You make good points about singlets and normies looking at NTGs as freaks and then dismissing our whole community. But then a lot of you decide that means all NTGs are ill-willed and that the opinions of fucking *singlets* should scare us into hating completely innocent people. You hate them.

I guess I'm unique in this discussion. I can't hate anybody as much as my abusers. All of my hate is away from syscourse, busy with other things. I'm not made of the stuff, it's a finite resource of mine. I guess I spare some for people who post videos of their children, people who are attracted to kids, etc. But those are obviously extreme people that I don't find myself encountering so often. I can't hate NTG systems because they aren't the types of people who would've caused any of my trauma. I guess it's my fault for setting that as the bar? You tell me. But I can't hate them, and the more that others do, the more sympathy I feel. The more I start to actually kinda like them, as a community. They don't seem like the types to tell me my trauma didn't happen, and that I'm not a system. They would never be the doctor who said I don't have DID just because I didn't know what dissociating was. They would never tell me I'm not traumatised based on my good grades. They just wouldn't, I've met a lot of them outside of tumblr. They're decent people, and they don't hate traumagenic systems. And yet I can think of traumagenic systems that have told me I'm not traumatised enough. Getting molested as a little kid and surveilled and shit wasn't traumatising enough! They had it worse :rolling_eyes:. I can easily picture a traumagenic system doing any of the bad things I just said NTGs wouldn't.

I hope someone out there considers all of this. At least enough to look at supporters and refrain from harrassing them and being disgusted by them (I've been bullied about it before. My heart goes out to NTGs that have to put up with bullying.)

By the way, are people allowed to submit things un-anonymously?

.

(Answering your question: You can post non-anonymously! Whatever your preference is.)

[allywritesforfun]

my take on the manatreed allegations

tw: mentions of abuse

so to my understanding, manatreed is somehow connected to this picture of a guy named justin who has abused woman in the past and they connected them together through his chin and the color of his eyes.

so to that I say: what the fuck? allegations set aside, there is no way in hell that we are connecting two people by the color of someones eyes (and we haven't seen manatreed’s yet, we just know their color) and the fact that their chins look similar?? I mean come on now, there simply isn't enough to connect the two.

next, the allegation itself. I am all for believing the victim, except to my understanding, there is no victim. to my understanding, there was this random guy who was like “manatreed does this to woman” (very broad because the original tweet was deleted and I havent seen any ss of it). so that being said, there is no victim (to my knowledge) that has come forward, so I am having a hard time believing the accusation because it was no someone that had this exact person do something to them. I would 100% believe and back up the victim, if there was, but right now, to my understanding, there is not.

manatreeds response: I think that people are giving him a really hard time. I mean, shit guys. some people are asking a lot out of him. I dont think that there is nothing wrong with his response. I understand the concern of his tweet was basically like “trust me guys” and it is true, we really have no reason to trust him. he have only really met him for 3 hours, so we dont know him enough to say he would or would not do anything. 

some people are asking for screenshots, which I think is the best option, but I honestly dont think he can provide them. again, this accusation was not from a victim (to my knowledge) so if he actually never did anything and there is no victim, who is supposed to prove that he did not do anything? and obviously he can't say “there is no victim” because that is going to raise hell on his end. 

some people are deadass asking for his driver license/ID card?? nothing about that makes sense because there is no good way to be like “here is my id” on the internet. if you would post your ID card, you are out of your fucking mind and need to go take an internet safety class. there are so many programs that can unblur or unedit anything in the matter of a few clicks. so people asking him to show his id, would you show yours to hundreds of thousands of people

my personal ideas about this: abuse is definitely a real issue that should not be taken lightly or joked about at all. but the fact that this is happening a day after manatreed’s first stream is a little bit suspicious to me. I think we all know right now that people would do anything to get dirt on people or steal their identity, so I support manatreed in the keeping his identity secret until more is known. because idk about you, I wouldn't give my identity out to someone that I never met, dont know at all, especially on the internet. to me, this seems like a targeted attack out of jealousy? maybe? because he did peak his first stream. I think that there has been a lot of negativity and positivity out of manatreeds first stream so for now, im not gonna label him as an abuser, but im not going to say that he could have actually abused woman. obviously there is a lot that we dont know from both end of the accusations and I am waiting to see how this plays out. I hoping that these accusations are not true and the person that accused it comes out with a statement whether or not that it is true and that if there is a victim, that they would step forward.

if you dont like my take on it, im sorry but it is my take and I am just offering more to think about and kind of summarizing it all at the same time. abuse is a very serious topic that is often over looked and I really hate for this to block out any actual victims. 

I said what I said and I won't be replying to most comments about this 

[oflgtfol]

I feel like people in the astronomy program are so much more laid back than the physics program plus the gender imbalance isnt quite as intense. now that im taking basically all my physics minor courses in one semester, im in upper level courses that pretty much ONLY physics majors are taking, and the entire vibe is so… different …

which is. maybe also why im doubting whether im cut out for academia. because these people are so fucking competitive and just. idk. idk how to explain it

so obviously i have a deep passion and love for science and especially astronomy. to the point where it spills beyond my academic life and into my personal life, to where i gush about it in my free time on my personal blog, to where most of my hobbies and interests are at least tangentially related to it, etc. i am always down to talk about astronomy. BUT I STILL HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF IT!!! when i hang out w friends i met in my classes we talk about things other than academics! we have actual fun!!

but these guys in these physics courses. all they fucking talk about is physics. and not in an awkward nerd way. it just comes across as weirdly like… idk. superior? like theyre trying to sound smart and better than you. like every single conversation is a test of your knowledge. it really takes away from the sense of camaraderie that i enjoy in academic settings and it turns even just basic casual conversation into a competition. add on the fact that theres like, four women in these classes, of which i am one of them, in a class of total like 25 people, it’s just. it creates such an unwelcoming atmosphere

and i just. in previous years i saw the gender imbalance statistics and i was filled with spite to do my small little part to go against it. but this past year has been hell for me mentally. i literally havent felt a single emotion beyond like, all encompassing defeat and exhaustion, so i frankly just cannot gather the will to even feel spite at all, nevermind enough to be my sole motivator for continuing on. and i know grad school must only get worse with this stuff. and i mean yeah as i said, astronomy is a lot better, not so much with the gender ratio (the ratio is slightly better), but the overall attitude is so much more lighter. but again like i just. i know grad school is super competitive i dont even know if i can handle that nevermind the workload of school itself. nevermind the overall work culture of that kind of competition

its still my absolute dream to spend the rest of my life doing formal astro research but with the current state of things its just. i dotn know if im cut out for it with all this, nevermind the fucking financials of it, like i hate competition i just want to do a job and contribute to the field, but in order to make money to survive at all i need to fight tooth and nail for grants and its just. its exhausting. is that really how i wanna spend the rest of my life. Why must these things exist why cant i just do research

[fanficwritinggirl]

This is due to the fact that when i was 14 years old i met Bill Weasley. And when i mean i met him i mean we were only introduced to each other. I was spending the summer at the Weasleys which i did every summer since i started Hogwarts. And this was the one time that Bill Weasley decided that he was going to come and spend a few days with his family and this was when i first met him.

I must admit that seeing him for the first time was like something out of a romance movie or novel. Like time litrally stopped. I remember looking at him and thinking that he was the most beautiful man that i had ever seen. He gave his family a cheerful good morning and kissed his mother on the cheek and then sat down opposite to me. I remember our eyes meeting and he smiled at me and offered his hand to me. "Bill Weasley nice to meet you. You must be Y/N L/N" he introduced. And he said it in the most sweetest way that it made me swoon. I gave him a small smile and a nod and he left it at that. I sat there listening to him talk about his work. And the passion that was in his voice when he spoke of it made me fall for him. I know that it is cleche but that is the only way that i can describe it. I had never met someone as amazing as Bill Weasley and i never shall as i declare that he is the most amazing person that i have ever met. And that might just be my dumb teenage mind but he is in all honsetly as passionate, beautiful individual.

2 years after the battle of Hogwarts i was now 19 years old and you could say that a lot of things had changed since then. Well for a start Ron and Hermione are together. Harry and Ginny are together. And our poor Fred was sadly killed in the battle to sum it up. The dynamic that had taken place in the Weasley house was never the same after the death of Fred. And i wouldnt expect anything less. I miss what the twins had. The pranks that they pulled. I feel as though the light had gone out. That the magic that once filled the home will never be whole again. And that broke my heart. But i am 19 now. An adult and i have to face the fact that life isnt full of happiness and that this was one of the many hard things that i was going to have to face.

Me and Ron sat  in the sitting room of the weasley home playing an intense game of Wizards Chess. And once again i was losing. Ron was still the best chess player that i knew even 8 years later. I groan as Ron beats me once again. "Seriously Ron you have to at least give me a chance to win" i whine. He laughs. "Well maybe if you would practice more you might stand a chance of beating me" he boasts and i gasp. "Ronald Weasley dont be such a cocky git" i say as i hit him in the arm and he laughs at me as i sulk.

"What are you doing now Ron" Hermione asks as she walks in. Ron giggles. "She is sulking because i beat her again at Wizards Chess" he tells her. Hermione shakes her head and kisses his forehead. "Im sorry to tell you this Y/N but i dont think that you are ever going to beat him. Trust me i dont like to increase his ego but he is the best chess player and we both know that" she says sympathetically and i groan again and stand up. "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We know" i joke and we all laugh.

"Its lovely to see some laughing in here" a voice says and we turn and see Bill Weasley standing at the edge of the sitting room. I freeze not expecting Bill to be here. "Bill what are you doing here" Ron says happily as he stands up and goes to hug his brother. "Decided that i would stay a few days and grace you all with my presence" he states as he hugs Ron. I look at Bill and can see the bags that are under his eyes. Which honestly he looks better then what i expected to look like after everything that he had been through.

Not long after the battle of Hogwarts. Bill and his wife Fleaur divorced. I guess you could say that with the PTSD and the loss of Fred took a toll on their marriage and it inevetable ended in Fleaur leaving on morning and never coming back and a few weeks later divorce papers showed up at shell cottage and then Bill knew that his marriage was over. After signing the divorce papers he moved back in with the weasleys for a few months getting affairs in order and deciding what was the next move which for him was buying an apartment in the city so that he was closer to work and from what i had been told by the rest of the Weasleys his life had been work ever since. It was heartbreaking to see a man that was once so passionate about his work loose that spark because of a broken heart. I had seen him briefly a few months back when i was at diagon alley at the bank and i must admit he looked better now than he did then.

Bill pulls back from Ron and smiles at me and Hermione. "Its nice seeing you two again. Im sorry i havent been around much work and all" he apoligies and me and hermione shake our heads. "Bill dont worry about it. Works work. Your here now" Hermione says kindly. He grins at us. "Thank you that is really nice of you. I just wanted to come and see you all before i go and see Mum. You know her she is going to keep me stuck in converstation all night at this point" he jokes and we all laugh at that. Very well knowing what Molly Weasley was like. "Go on Bill go and see her now if you want to get to bed at a decent hour" Ron says giving him a pat on the back. Bill shakes his head with a grin on his face and heads off upstairs towards. My mind was racing now. Because all i could think about was the fact that the feelings that i had bedded deep down about Bill Weasley were now coming to the surface.

Which a few days later made me completely and utterly scrood. It started with just little things between me and Bill. One morning Molly asked us to wash the dishes and it was just our hands touching that i could feel the sparks that people talk about. All of us playing a game of ball and him moving the hair from the side of my face and staring into my eyes. Him opening the door for me with a smile. It was things like this that made me relise that i was hopelessly in love with Bill Weasley and i could be. He was one of my best friends brothers and that meant that it was a big no no in the eyes of my friendship with Ron which meant that i was going to have to keep my distance.

I was standing at the sink as i was washing the dishes which was something that i offered to always do as a way of helping Molly out which i didnt mind. I loved the view that the kitchen gave me. Right out onto the garden were Ron, George and Bill were currently messing around in the garden together. Casting funny spells on each other and the laughs that was coming from them was bittersweet as there was one Weasley that would have been there. And yes im talking about Fred. And obviously Percy is another weasley sibling which i must admit that after the battle he has tried more with the family but he is still the outsider in a way. I dont know much about Percy and i dont really want to know him all to well.

But back to the view. I loved looking at Bill mess around with his brothers. There was a look of happiness the old Bill in his eyes which i know that we have all missed. The Bill that i remember falling for when i was 14. But this Bill there was so much more to him and that made me more intregued.

"So which one of my brothers are you looking at and please tell me it is not Ron" a voice asks from behind me. I come out of my daze and turn and see Ginny standing behind me. I look at her shocked before shaking my head. "Why would i be staring at Ron Ginny" i ask her confused. She sighs. "Good that is the answer that i wanted now that means that there are only 2 of my brothers that you could have been staring at. Now is it my brother George who is a hilarious guy even though he isnt much anymore but still can be. And can make any girl fall with his jokes. Or is it my eldest brother Bill. Who is passionate, determined and someone who you have been in love with since you were 14. Now let me see ene meany miney..." she says but i cut her off.

"Ginny! Stop okay i know that you know" i burst and she smirks at me. "Of course i know. I know everything. And just to let you know i think you should go for it" she expalins to me with a smirk. I just looks at her and groan. "Ginny he was barley been divorced a year yet alone ready for anew relationship and anyway what about the age difference" i try to excuse so that she would stop talking about it. She shakes me head and me. "No no no. Dont start trying to feed me all of this age difference bs. Come on like 10 years isnt that bad. Like i mean there are people who get married to others who are like 40 years older than them. Which makes you and Bill normal" she trys to persuade me. I sigh and shake my head. "Like i said Ginny he and Fleaur have barely been split up a year. And anyway he probarbly doesnt look at me like that" i doubt and go back to washing the dishes.

"Look Y/N. I know how you feel i thought Harry thought the same thing about me but hey look at us now. We might think one way about something but you know we may be wrong. And i can see the way that you and Bill are together. The way that you two move around each other its like a dance. Its like you two are meant to move together. That you are meant to be together. And i believe in soulmates and i know that you two are. I never got any of this off of Bill and Fleaur. The connection but i do now. And im telling you to go for it. Trust me" she explains. I look at her shocked. Trying to take everything in. She gives me a smile knowing that i am going to think about it. Once she leaves a bend myself over the sink with both elbows on either side of it and put my head in my hands and sigh. This is just making things harder.

Later that night i lie in bed not being able to sleep. What Ginny had said to me had got me fucked up in the way that now i cant decide what to do. I get out of bed after trying for way to long to get to sleep and head down to the kitchen to get myself some milk to help me go to sleep. I walk down there and grab some milk from the fridge and pour some in a pot to put over the stove.

"Y/N" a voice asks and i turn around and see Bill standing there looking at me with sleepy eyes. "Sorry if i woke you"i apoligise. He shakes his head and walks further into the kitchen. "You didnt i was up doing some work" he informs me and i enternally groan. He needs to stop working so much. "Well anyway then. Sorry for disturbing you. Can i offer you a mug of warm milk i heard that it helps on feel more relaxed. Or at least it did when i was a child" i say and he laughs and nods his head. "Yes please but i have a little bit of a request on how to make it better" he says as he walks to the pantree and i pour some milk into some mugs. He comes back out and has some cinnamon in his hand and sprinkles it on the top of the milk. "Mum used to do this when we are little. It just made the drink feel more at home" he says. He turns his head up and looks at me straight in the eyes. And once again there it was. The spark. The connection that i felt was there. To my dissapointment he pulls back and looks at me with intent smile.

"Why dont you try it" he says to me referring to the milk. I break out of the trance that i was in and take a sip of the milk. And he was right. The drink tasted more of home. And now all i could think about when i thought of the milk was him. I see him take a drink of his milk before our eyes meet again. He moves the milk away from his lips and puts it on the counter. He moves closer to me and before i know what is happening his lips are on mine. And a zoo erupts in my stomach. I put my own milk down and wrap my arms around his neck as he deepens it. Devoruing my lips and feeling every part of my body. He moves his hands down to my ass and grabs it pulling me up into his arms before setting me down on the counter.

My breathes are heavy. It is so hard to breathe when i am so intoxicated with him. The feeling of him of my skin. The burning that i feel in my core. This man was a drug. He pulls aways and looks at me. He smirks when he sees me so out of breathe. He moves a part of my C/H out of my face and looks deep in my eyes.

"I have wanted to do that for some long you dont understand. From the first time that i saw you the other day. I knew that you were something else. Something about you was causing me to feel something that i have never felt before and i know now that is because you are my drug Y/N. Your my drug and i hope that i am yours" he asks me. All i can do is nod my head. "Your my drug Bill. And i want all of you" i tell him and once again i am being devoured by him. He lifts me up once again and lifts me upstairs to his room and you can fill in the rest.

The next morning i wake up with Bill lying naked next to me on his back with him slightly snorning next to me. I giggle and turn and stroke his cheek and also planting a kiss. His hands moves up and holds mine and he smiles. "Morning" he says and i smile. "Morning" i say as he kisses me. I sigh. He is my drug. He pulls me closer and groans. "We are going to have to tell them arent we" he asks. I nod as i curl into him. "Yeah we are but i have a feeling that they already know" i inform him and he looks at me confused. "And how would they know" he asks me cheekely. "Well i have a feeling that we may have not been that quiet last night" i say mischeviously. He smirks and leans closer. "I believe that you are correct on that but i would say that it was mostly you calling my name that they heard" he whispers in my ear and i moan. He flips us over and pins my hands over my head. "And i think that for you being a naughty girl and not being quiet last night i might need to punish you" he purrs. The feeling of my core heats up once again. "And how might you do that William" i ask him. I slowly feel him slide his hand down to my pussy and put a finger in and i groan. "I have a few ideas" he says before taking me.

You could say that we were correct. When we walked down the stairs everyone was looking at us. Molly and Arthur looked a little unconfertable. Which i dont blame them. I dont think they preferably wanted to hear their son having sex. Hermione, Ron, Harry and George looked completely shocked and Ginny of course was sitting there with a smug look on her face. Bill sighs. "Ok i know that most of you are shocked right now and i understand that completely. And im sorry that you had to hear that last night. But i just want to let you know that i love Y/N. I love her and some of you might think that it is a bit early after the divorce and all but i know its now. I know that what we feel for each other is stronger than anything that i have ever felt and that will never change. So all i ask is for you please just be happy for us" Bill exclaims. They all just blink at us before Ron is the first to speak.

"Can i just asks. From how hard your bed was going against the wall im surprised that you are even walking Y/N" he jokes. Molly wacks him around the head. "Ronald Weasley" she exclaims and we all laugh. We know that they accept us and Bill kisses my head before we head to the table. We recive some awkward hugs and pats on the back which was expected but at the end of the day i have Bill and Bill has me.

[practicalmagicintuitions]

Hi sorry for the messy long rant, but i have some things to get off my chest that probably makes no sense sorry

First off i am SO conflicted about all of this bc one way I think everyone has their right to express their opinions and connect that to their personal experiences, but i think we should also remember that we have no idea how HC and NV met, i barely know anything about her, and while yes it does look like she gave up everything in the US and that she doesnt post anything on her instagram of her going to tourist places so it seems like she is really isolated and cooped up in that rental, but again we dont really know that 100%…? We have literally no idea how theyre doing rn and what theyre doing. Everything we talk about her is just the same old assumptions and theories that we’ll never know the truth off.

I dont excuse her problematic actions, her apology was awful and maybe she was in utter panic that the first thing she did was just send those messages because shes ignorant on these social issues. But on the other side shes also gotten A LOT of abuse and bullied by people online, making fake shit thats practically career ending. Henry tried protecting and standing up for her with the FO post, but he could have worded some of that better. But like im in the minority of that. Practically everyone thinks the FO post was good.

The hate has taken a big toll on Henry and im surprised people havent noticed this. Hes totally disconnected himself from his fans and seems pretty much everyone and i dont even blame him. I hope he talks to someone about this, but i doubt he doesnt.

Hes gotten these types of rumors about him for years, but theres never really any backup to prove these rumors. I dont rly know what to say on this matter, but its just oof that Henry is either known for being a creep, a bad actor or hyped to infinity of how great of a geeky sexy guy he is. Theres no inbetween

Im glad this acc is a safe place for people to share their opinions, but sometimes i think people get too biased and read too much into these messed up rumors that they cant differenciate between whats actually true and just fake speculation to stir drama all because he dated a 19 year old in 2015 as if that isnt a common thing with rich men…i dont like it and i still hate that he would go down that ruite but it is what it is :/

I cannot really argue with your first paragraph. We know nothing specific or very less. People basically should stop taking about him and them if we olny can discuss the proven facts.

The made up stuff especially the porn was awful but his FO was before that. He tried to protect themselves after the S16 backlash and the awful photoshop theories. (somehow those were simpler times because those were so obviously made up “discoveries”) After her blackface photo we got the FL pictures and her pictures from the tental but he went completely silent. Maybe except the Meat picture in his story.

I think people noticed this, they just don’t feel pity for him. I mean the hate is never acceptable but I cannot say voicing some sort of disappointment especially if it’s not on their SM is something people should stop. This situation is partly his fault. I am sorry if he is getting hate, no one should, but even before NV his started to change. His presence on IG. ( and maybe NV has been in the picture already we just didn’t know.) So it’s not 100% because of the bad reception of their relationship.

I cannot really add anything more, you put everything together so well and I cannot actually argue with anything you said. Thanks for this ask and sorry for it took me so long to answer.

[newtedison]

my thoughts on the crank palace

i touched about this a bit on twitter (@newtedison_) but i figured i would Try and touch on my points more here (spoilers obv) again, its sort of lengthy

1. im gonna start with talking about the ending because i need to get it out of the way. either i havent read the books in a while and i forgot some canon (which could very well be true, i literally forgot that Bliss was a thing) or this ending makes no sense and is (somehow) setting up for a tdc sequel? so first off, newt was shot in the Head with a Bullet and somehow didnt immediately die? i know that that can happen in real life but it just seems so unlikely that not only would he not die, but he would survive long enough for someone from WCKD to transport him back to their labs and try to revive him. and who the fuck was he talking to? did thomas get newt’s journal at some point and i just dont remember? like i said, either im forgetting stuff or this ending doesnt make sense and is setting up a sequel which...i’ll get to later

2. why was this written? like, what was the point? i understand that this wasnt going to be all sunshine and rainbows but i feel like i was reading torture porn. like, literally all that happens is newt gets tortured (which is described in detail) by WCKD soldiers, has bouts of insane-fueled rage where he KILLS MULTIPLE PEOPLE, and then he dies. ??? what did this contribute to the canon? what was this trying to accomplish? truthfully, i never really wanted a newt-POV...well, anything except for maybe those little nuggets he wrote some time ago. but even if i HAD wanted a newt-POV novella, this is not what i would have wanted. he KNOWS that newt is almost universally the most loved character in this franchise. you can tell because he constantly uses him as a way to get fans in his good graces again. so why on earth would he take that character that so many people love and write a novella where its torture porn and a descent into madness before death? i am not interested in that At All. i’ve read fics (and even written a drabble) where newt is a Crank, and those were more respectful and easier to read than tcp. the parts where newt is having bouts of the Flare were literally exhausting to read; it was described in such vivid and torturous detail that it made me sick reading it. and it didnt help that newt is a character i care a lot about. i didn’t need to know what becoming a Crank felt like. the way it was described in the other books (and even the movies) told me everything i needed to know. the way thomas and everyone found newt at the crank palace in tdc and hes described as obviously not well, but not knowing what exactly happened to him...thats good enough on its own. the mystery of what exactly newt had to endure is part of what gives his journey more emotional depth. not everything needs to be written out and explained. not every gap needs to be filled in. 

3. me saying “the characterization felt off” is going to make some people roll their eyes because ‘duh, sami, the characterization will be off because he’s going insane’ to which i say...exactly. we weren’t really reading a newt-POV novella, were we? even if he isn’t past the Gone in the beginning, hes clearly not the same person we knew him as. the whole novella felt like an uncanny valley situation; i knew i was supposed to be reading about newt, but it felt like i was reading about someone else who looked like him. and that is part of what made this such a disconnect and made me lose interest at parts. not only that, but the world building and lore is inconsistent. newt makes a comment about how it used to rain in the glade, and apparently (as ive been told) that is simply not true. keisha having somehow working cell phone that magically connects her to her family also doesnt make sense. how would they have each others’ numbers? what are the odds that they BOTH found working cell phones in an apocalypse? i get that its a novella but you cant just throw something that crazy in there as a plot convenience. actually work on your plot and world building in a cohesive way, please. and another thing that doesnt make sense...

4. ...is newt finding out that sonya is his sister. if there was anything i would have wanted from a newt-pov novella, it would have been this. him finding out that not only is sonya his sister, but he already knows her post-WCKD. something that would have made this novella actually captivating, contributing something worthwhile to the canon that i would actually want to read, is if newt found out while in the crank palace that sonya was his sister; the Flare would remove that part of the Slice in his brain, and he would realize it was her. then, knowing that he couldnt go past the Gone before seeing her, he would try to find a way to get back to her. he could learn this after thomas and everyone originally see him, so it could match up with the canon. and then, by the time 250 comes along, hes lost all hope of that actually happening, and lashes out to thomas in a fit of rage. the journey of him trying to find his ACTUAL sister would have meant more to me than the story of keisha and dante. trust me, i love a found family trope as much as the next girl. but this series is FULL of the found family trope. it pretty much is the backbone of the franchise. so to see a blood family dynamic would have been a refreshing change of pace that i actually would have been interested in reading. also, the way that newt DOES find out about sonya is...underwhelming. he just randomly says “you remind me of my sister, sonya” to keisha in the WCKD truck. first of all, sonya is not the name you would actually know her by. you would know her by her birth name (which is lizzy? elizabeth?). second, why does he act like he didnt already meet her in the series? when the WCKD doctor tells him sonya is his sister and is alive, hes so surprised. wouldn’t he have known that already? why is there not more emphasis on the fact he already met her? that would have been a really interesting dynamic to explore, and im sad they didnt

5. the pacing and dialogue of tcp is so dragged out. i remember specifically there was a section where newt goes to talk to keisha after she starts abandoning dante, and i swear to god there was a page and a half of text before anything ACTUALLY happened or anyone ACTUALLY said anything. dashner described a launcher at one point as “the energy dependent electric firing projectile device.” that’s SIX words to describe a stun gun. a fucking stun gun! we know what it is! why did you have to use six words??? it just felt like everything was dragged and stretched to the longest it could possibly be and it added to the exhaustion i felt while reading it

6. okay i cant end it without talking about newtmas. its very obvious by now that newtmas is a VERY large part of this fanbase. its clearly the most popular ship and what keeps a lot of people interested in this series. even the marketing team for the MOVIES used newtmas as a advertising tactic (i.e.; using thomas and newt standing face to face as a thumbnail for the trailer, emphasizing newtmas based questions in interviews, even making a fucking facebook memories video for them. yes that last one is real). not only does dashner use newt as a way to lure fans in; he also uses newtmas. the parts that were sprinkled into this were so obvious that it didnt feel authentic. i cant speak for the original trilogy; i dont know the culture around ships back then, and i dont know how much it influenced his writing at the time. but the scenes in those books felt more genuine than tcp. by genuine i mean; he wrote scenes without a relationship in mind, but the chemistry had noticeable subtext that, while unintentional, was largely agreed upon by the larger audience. the parts of newtmas he added into tcp felt artificial and forced, likely as a way for people to take snippets of and use as a free marketing tool for him. one example you might have already seen; “he had already gotten used to his post-thomas, post-WCKD life.” the fact that dashner SPECIFICALLY used the phrase “post-thomas” rather than “post-his friends” or something similar shows that he is using newtmas as a hook on purpose. not only that, but to make newt’s last thoughts as he died “tommy. tommy will understand...” is...wow. first of all, i never wanted to know what newt’s dying thoughts were, but thanks, i guess? and second, when we all initially thought newt died underneath thomas with a gun to his head, i was pretty much inferred that newts last thoughts would probably be about thomas; they would sort of have to be, given the circumstances. so adding that in gives me the same feeling that “i’m coming for you, newt” at the end of the fever code gave me. not as offensive, but written very much on purpose. and the ending is implying that there will somehow be a sequel where thomas gets newt’s journal from...someone. at this point, i can only think that this sequel will retroactively make newtmas canon somehow. now that newt has been confirmed as gay, it could happen. which brings me to my last point...

7. hearing dashner confirm newt is gay was already mind-boggling before. now that i’ve read the crank palace...im angry. im very angry. i think its safe to say that newt is the character that suffers the most in this series. you can argue with me but hes definitely high on the list, if not #1. so; you take this character. you give him a horribly sad arc in the original trilogy, then decide to expand upon it and tell us, your largely QUEER fanbase, exactly how painful and torturous his last days were, in detail. and then you tell us he’s gay. something that is never mentioned in the canon, only in an offhanded reply to a tweet of someone calling you out. on a base level, i can understand why people would be happy. representation (i guess), seeing themselves in the character, having their headcanons be confirmed. great. but what i see is you telling your largely queer fanbase “hey, you see the only confirmed gay character? im going to literally write torture porn about him before killing him off and offer it to you like im providing a service to your community.” how fucked up is that? “hey, kids, if youre gay, you WILL be violently tortured and become violent and a danger to the ones you love. then you will die and your love will never be reciprocated.” what a message! and if he DOES end up retroactively making newtmas “canon” in some weird sequel...i will start foaming at the mouth. THIS is an example of how not all queer representation is good or genuine.

i’ve definitely forgotten some points but this is long enough already. let me know if you agree or if theres anything else you want to add! im interested in what you guys think

(8. I JUST REMEMBERED!!! if WCKD needed to study newt so bad bc sonya is his sister and is immune while he isnt, why did they let him run around the crank palace in the first place??? you cant test his vitals or anything you’re literally just watching him. what is the point????)

[wolferals]

✨UNDER MY SKIN(S)✨

james cook x reader

„Y/n, friend." your mom shouted from downstairs. You were still busy with your english homework as you got interrupted. A sigh leaving your lips you got up from your desk to walk down to the door. Who of your friends would show up on a Tuesday night at 9pm when they knew you were busy doing schoolwork?

As your head shot around the corner you let out a frustrated moan.

The brown haired boy grinned sheepishly as he had his hands behind his back. „Cook." you spoke and approached the interrupter of your busy night.

„Hello y/n. Looking stunning."

Looking down at yourself you realized you were only wearing a big sweatshirt and some knitted socks to keep you feet warm. You were not wearing pants at all, and your hair was up in a messy bun.

„What do you want? I'm busy." You snapped at him but he just kept on smiling.

„I wanted to see if you were up for some fun. Freds and J are twats and studying for the exam tomorrow. Eff's a bit of a headache at the moment and Naomikins wont answer the door." He explained and rested his arm on the doorframe.

„Cook, as I said, I'm busy."

He made his lip tremble a bit, making you roll your eyes at him. „Come on y/n/n, just for an hour or two. I promise I dont got any drugs this time. I just dont wanna be alone right now. I'm going through something."

You again rolled your eyes at this jackass and joked:"Did Effy not wanna fuck you tonight? I'm really sorry. But fuck, fine. I just gotta get dressed. Come in and close the door behind you."

Like a little kid he let out a happy laugh as you walked upstairs, noticing that Cook was following you.

„Hello? Privacy? Also my mom won't like you being in my room with me, at that time especially."

He closed the door to your room and started looking around while you rummaged through your closet.

„You got a nice room y/n/n. Why havent I been in here?"

He asked and played with your dreamcatcher.

„Well because you're a dick Cookie? And I dont like dicks in my room."

-„Thats cool, but hey now you got one in your room. A big one. One that could make you feel real good."

He started laughing and pointed at his crotch. „Fuck you Cook. Turn around."

You quickly took off your sweater and threw on a white cardigan and paired it with a pair of some wide legged jeans.

„Okay I'm done." you then spoke and watched Cook scan your body from head to toe. „Looks cute."

You were surprised by his choice of words but didn't complain. Smiling, you grabbed your stuff and you two headed downstairs.

„Mom, I'll have to help Cook with something real quick, I'll be back in an hour."

You were about to open the front door when your mom stood in the hall. „Where are you going?" She asked, a serious expression on her face.

„Just around the block. I promise I'll be back soon."

Cook just stood there and watched you and your mom discuss but suddenly spoke up:"Ms y/l/n, I promise I'll have her back in exactly one hour. I'll take care of her, nothing will happen to your daughter I swear."

You stared at him in disbelief. That Cook new words like „I promise" or „I'll take care" shocked you a bit.

„Fine. One hour. You have a test tomorrow sweetheart, have that in mind." Your mom finally let you go and Cook didnt waste any more time slipping through the door outside, pulling you with him.

„Wow your mum seems..."

-„I know." you scoffed and shut the door.

Cook took a deep breath as well.

„So you ready for the exam tomorrow?" He then asked.

Walking down the dark street you shrugged your shoulders at him. „I think so but to be honest I was too tired to make anything stay in my brain tonight."

He laughed lightly and replied:"Welcome to my world."

You gave him a quick glance before continuing to walk through the darkness.

It didnt make you uncomfortable being with Cook, even though in fact this was your first time being alone. You simply didn't know what to say to him. He was just too different from you.

„You wanna have some fun?" He broke the silence suddenly as you two walked towards a big building.

„Sure; whats that though?"

He gave you a devilish smirk. „Ever really partied before?"

You shook your head while Cook grabbed your hand to pull you towards the building. His hand was bigger than yours. And it was warm, it felt nice holding someone's hand. You'd never had a boyfriend to touch you but that little thing you got from him there was really nice though.

„Cook what is this place?" you asked when the red lights hit you right in the face. „You're gonna love it." He smiled at you, still holding your hand.

Once down in the basement you two met a bunch of people lining up in front of a big door.

You spotted a bouncer at front letting certain people in.

„I just need you to do one thing. Could you please flirt with that man so we can get in easier? They dont really like me here that much, you need to work with those."

Cook pointed at your boobs.

„Are you kidding?" You asked him, not believing a word he just said. „Please, I really think you'd like it, plus we dont got too much time left. I need to get you home in 40 minutes so just show him your tits and we can have some fun."

You scoffed at him but eventually pulled him up to the bouncer. The guy was around 25, attractive he was for sure but you didnt really know what to say.

„Oh you again, why dont you fuck off?" He looked at Cook.

You gave Cookie a serious look and then turned back to the bouncer. „Hi, I'm sorry I've never been here before; and my friend just told me I'd have a lot of fun in there. Dont you think you could let us in, please?" You gave him your puppy eyes and lightly bit your lip.

He looked inbetween you two and spoke:"This your girlfriend?" He was obviously speaking to Cook.

He just shook his head and you answered:"No sir he's not. We're just here to have fun. I promise we won't be here for long, just a bit of fun. Please sir?"

He breathed out and opened the door behind you. „Alright then sweetheart. And you, dont come here again after tonight." Cook grinned and pulled me inside the club, speaking a „cheers" to the bouncer before coming closer to my ear due to the loud music.

„Promise one thing y/n. Have fun. Let it all go and be free. Just for now."

You looked up at him, his face being lit by the colorful lights. He again smiled at you. „I promise." was all you said before basically jumping into the middle of the dance floor and letting yourself go. A upbeat song was playing and you just started jumping and dancing with Cook as if there was no tomorrow. He seemed to enjoy it as much as you did because he was laughing. You'd never seen him so cheerful and genuinely happy.

„Cookie?" you yelled against the loud music and grabbed onto his neck. „Thank you so much for bringing me here!"

He nuzzled his head in your neck and placed a soft kiss against your skin. „Just let go." You held onto his neck and danced with him again. His forehead rested against yours and your eyes kept locked. It felt like the world around you two had stopped. It felt like Cook and you were the only thing that mattered, as if it cured every worry in your body.

And before you could think about it, you pulled him close and placed your lips onto his. He kissed you back immediately but his kiss was different than you'd expected. It was softer, much more passionate that you'd ever imagined. His hands grabbed you by the waist until you let go of him and smiled brightly.

„Take me home Cook." He licked his lips and nodded as you two made your way through the crowd to the exit door.

Once the noise had quiet down and the only thing you could feel was your own heavy heartbeat and the cold air hitting you, you leaned against the wall. Cook did the same and let out a soft giggle.

„Did you have fun?" He asked and turned his head to look at you. „A lot." You smiled happily.

„Good. Yeah, good."

He stepped closer and placed both his hands on the wall next to your head. He looked down at you and licked his lips once again. „We still got 19 minutes. Sure you wanna go home now?"

Before you got to answer he had kissed you again. It felt too good to be true, his lips moving in perfect sync with yours. His hand on your neck and your hands in his hair.

He truly was a fantastic kisser.

And yet again, the world around you had stopped. Cook was the only thing that mattered to you and deep down you knew how wrong it all was but Cook made you feel worth it. Made you feel good about yourself.

After he let go of you, he grabbed your hand once again and you two slowly walked back to your house without saying another word.

You only caught him looking at you every now and then.

But as you stood in front of your house you turned to him and said:"Thank you Cook, I had a lot of fun in that just one hour." He laughed and replied:"Good. Im glad that I could at least make someone happy tonight."

You giggled as well before looking around to see if your mom was by any chance watching you. But the lights were off and the blinds were shut so you looked back at Cook and placed another quick kiss on his lips.

He didnt seem to be having it, so he pulled you even closer to have a proper harder kiss this time.

„I'll see you tomorrow then?" He asked and put a strand of hair behind your ear. „You see that balcony? Left window is mine. Next time make sure my mom doesnt see you."

He laughed his significant cook laugh and nodded. „Understood. But how soon would be too soon? I mean would it be inappropriate to show up in, lets say 10 minutes?"

-„Cook I'm really not the girl to..."

He grabbed your head and spoke:"No, no I just dont wanna go home yet and I wanna cuddle a bit. I'd be gone before your mum could notice anything."

„Cuddle" Cook wanted to cuddle, that was a first.

„Goodnight cook. See you tomorrow."

He nodded, let go of your hand and walked a couple of steps closer to the street.

„Its really warm tonight, I'll have to air out my room a bit though." you hinted and smiled at him before stepping inside the house. Before closing the front door you saw Cook smiling happily at you before looking up to your room for you to open the window for him. This boy was up for some closure he'd never had before.

[hunbomb]

roommate! jaemin

i hope u guys like this one! i do :) 

warning: not proofread LMAO

jaemin: a huge flirt

like we been knew sis okay bUt its not like it defines him ya kno??? like yes he is a flirt but its not like he does it purposely

however that doesn’t stop every single girl from liking him

except for u cause you’re ~not like other girls~

jk you are 

cause who wouldn’t find na jaemin attractive?? tf???

okay but like the dealio between you and jaemin is that you are best friends 

and you have a fat crush on him (u have since the beginning of highschool LOL)

luckily for you, although jaemin is a flirt, he isnt interested in any girls so he doesnt bring any to your dorm

and even if he did, he would tell u because it would be shitty not to 

anyway

so u met in grade nine and yalls friendship popped TF off right away like you joined nomins duo and made it a trio in the span of 4 months and everyone was like???? this mf got that close to them that fast???? mastery

jeno was like ur brother from another mother fr

you and him told eachother everything and sometimes he would tell you things he wouldnt even tell jaemin. like everyone has those people that although theyre close w, there are some things you’d never tell and that goes for jeno and jaemin

jaemin never told jeno he listens to taylor swift

and jeno never told jaemin that he watched all of my little pony friendship is magic on netflix

but since you and jeno shared some personal things w eachother, you obviously told him about your crush on jaemin

and since you had a crush on jaemin, you never got like super super close with him just cause ur feels got in the way 

mainly just you never got as close to jaemin as you did jeno

sure you were bffs, but it wasn’t on such an intimate level

cause everytime jaemin would look your way you’d be gasping for air

so timeskip to senior year

everything is great

your friendship is still strong af and you guys are all planning for post secondary

jaemin and you get into the same uni right.... and jeno gets into the one the town over so your friendship wont take that much damage

but!!! jaemin wants to room with you!!! and ur like!! fucufejdsk!!!

cause like ofc you want to who wouldnt????? but you have such a massisve crush on him you dont want it to get in the way of not only yours but also jaemins university experience

you say yes tho and next thing you know youre unpacking all your stuff

the dorm is kind of small like there isnt a lot of space,,,,, theres two bedrooms but the beds literally take out the whole room HAHHAHA and then there is a chill space with the kitchen connected and u and jaemin have to share a washroom LOL

“jaemin what the FUCK did you eat??? beans??? i bet it was beans this shit smells so bad i-”

“it really do be ya own friends sometimes” -jaemin 2020 :((((((

anyway so like university life is good you and jaemin invite jeno over every weekend for a sleepover and vice versa its so cute GAH

but like,,,, here’s where the drama comes in

one day you are facetiming jeno and youre telling him about how you really like jaemin and blah blah ya know the usual

and youre not really looking at the screen cause youre doing your homework and focusing on that but jeno sees in the back that jaemin has fully entered the room

and you dont notice cause hes silent and your still talking but jeno is trying to get your attention UDHSJIA

and when he does you see in your part of the screen jaemin just,,,, standing there

cue you ending the call with jeno SO FAST and turning around like oH i thought you had classes right now?

“.... they ended early”

“i see” ://////////

you like get up super fast and just walk around him and go into your roomm shutting the door 

poor jaemin is just like “what”

cause to be honest he never really considered this situation ever happening yah he thought you were prettier than most girls and he liked the way you were able to talk to people so easily but he never would have thought you harboured feelings for him

so he kind of just leaves it be cause he knows that you def dont want to talk about it and is willing to wait for you to be the one who brings it up

so time skip to dinner youre both just eating in silence but you dont like it,,,

“what i said was true” you say and jaemin looks up and he knows where this convo is going but he lets you speak

“i didnt ever plan on telling you because i really like our friendship but i guess i wasn’t careful enough”

your heart is beating hella fast but you try to look unbothered and its going pretty good until jaemin asks you something

“how long have you felt this way?”

OKAY like it shouldnt be a big deal to tell him bc you already exposed yourself but for some reason that question just hit you deep cause you realized that youve liked him for so long and he never felt the same ya know

“i dont know,,, since the start of highschool? when we became friends i always thought you were cute and it just turned into a full blown crush”

jaemin just sort of nods in response “oh okay”

so that night your just laying in your bed full of regrets

you know things are about to be super duper awkward between you and jaemin and you wish it didnt have to be like that

so over the next couple of weeks its more awkward than it has ever been before and the sleepovers with jeno seem so divided 

its either jeno and you or jeno and jaemin its never the three of you anymore :((((((

jaemin isn’t ignoring your feelings though, dont worry! hes just trying to sort his out

because your confession kind of opened his eyes

he doesnt want to force himself to like you but he cant help but admit that when he first heard you talking about your feelings a huge warmth spread through his chest and he may or may not have uncovered some feelings

these feelings were always there but he suppressed in grade nine cause he thought you’d never like him and you just wanted to stay friends

so he pushed them down and never thought about it again

but obviously that didnt happen because now youre on his mind 24/7 and he wishes that he could just talk to you but hes kind of nervous

so after taking advice from jeno he tries to talk to you more, like asking how your day went and starting up conversations

youre  kind of like “what u playing at son” but you leave it cause you know jaemin would never do you dirty like that

it stays this way for a while until one night theres a particularly bad thunderstorm and jaemin is scared of thunder

and so when youre just playing on your phone jaemin opens your door slightly and has this scared look on his face

and you know that jaemin is scared of thunder so you open your arms without any words being shared

a huge boom of thunder makes jaemin squeal and jump into your arms

and he gets comfy under the covers as youre holding him, no words shared between you two

he starts to feel much better and this sense of comfort washes over him like,,, youre his home

and as hes falling asleep he softly mutters

“im sorry it took me so long”

and youre just straight confused like what does that mean is he talking about his feelings or just the fact that yall havent had such an close encounter in a while 

the next morning you wake up and jaemins arms and you guys are facing eachother

and hes already awake so when you oepn your eyes you find him already looking at you

“thank you for last night, youre the best” he whispers and youre like all good fam i understand

but then he leans in closer and is like “i should have told you this so long ago, but i am in love with you”

your eyes widen and youre like wh AT the FUCJ your heart is beating at like 420 bpm and ur shooketh

he just smiles and pulls in you in closer and its just a super soft moment and no words have to be said

that night you guys are cuddling on the couch after dinner when jaemin just asks you be his gf

OF COURSE YOU SAY YES! you have been waiting for this moment for god knows how long

jeno is all like damn fina-fucking-ly i’ve been watching this romance play out for like 5 years! 

its super cute

its even better that you guys are roommates because youre already living together so you get to see eachother everyday

jaemins room as become a guest room for sorts as he now shares a bed with you

jenos happy af hes like YESSS I DONT NEED TO SLEEP WITH JAEMIN IN OUR SLEEPOVERS ANYMORE

jaemin: >:(((((( tf is that supposed to mean

you just laugh and youre like im not complaining hahaha and jaemins heart just stutters so bad 

he really does love you and he cant believe it took him so long to accept his feelings

and one night he tells you about how he pushed them down and youre like “exCUSE ME we could have been dating all this time u pussy”

sad jaemin :((((( 

anyway ya its so good its a win-win situation 

you get to room with the love of your life and its just magical there are so many soft moments between you two and just UGH relationship goals

i need me a jaemin

[macklives]

session 92 end (bye 413...)

this session was so long but so fucking hectic what the fuck

im going to try and slim it down to its bare essentials rather than go on a full rant because im pretty sure i want to make a post later on about vriska’s characterisation (not anything about me liking her/disliking her, just an analyse on her life really, so it wont be too bias because thats not the point of an analysis. i also want to do one on aradia, been meaning to for a while... hmm... damn i havent done much analogies lately, and i THINK the last long post on a character i made was about davesprite??? so its been a fucking while. that being said, ill leave a lot of details out for this end of session notes so i dont just repeat myself later on. rather will keep to plot points here and then make character points in another)

alright

first we had a page or two where aradia confided in nepeta about her being dead which means nepeta is the only one to know this revelation. im pretty sure aradia confided because there was no other way around it, since nepeta was her server player, so it was inevitable. either way, aradia still put her trust in nep, which means, if you think about it, nobody else knows and nobody else ever will. and considering aradia asked nep to keep it a secret, it probably wont get explored by others until MAYBE later on, whenever its plot relevant, so everyone will be in the dark about it for a while which ill have to remember for future dialogue and scenes with aradia in them

then we met vriska

which, yes, is a meme. i may not have been on a lot of fandom platforms, but you cant escape some of the stuff that goes around the internet. even if you dont know undertale, im pretty sure you know of sans. or komaeda if you have/havent seen danganronpa. its just.. the memes, ya know? ive heard from many sources of the “vriska did nothing wrong” quote (even through mbmbam which??? WHAT) but since i didnt even know what it meant, i never explored it so then i never knew it was a homestuck thing. imagine my surprise...... i think even at the time, i wouldnt have known what homestuck was either honestly so it wouldnt even matter. i only recently learned about the fandom.... uhh, maybe half a year ago??? yeah, august, so my knowledge was slim but vriska is a thing ive heard before, which still shocks me

goddammit

anyways back to her

so her intro was something, we pretty much found out she likes DnD (a FANATIC in fact) and feeds her lusus the flesh of living trolls. which is fucked up. but i wont get too much into detail about that until i make a post about her life on alternia and the consequences of such. or maybe just alternia in general...?? or *both* heheheh but i feel i need more information before i go off on a tangent about that

then we met??? white text dude?? who is a major asshole but an asshole with insults that hURted, to think i felt bad for VRISKA when that happened. woah.

i said before, but... karkat, he cant really hit deep because his insults are just HIM and his way to express himself. like some people find it natural to just go “FUCK YOU” to show emphasis on a point, and thats just karkats way. he may do it so aggressively that it takes you a second to realize what he said, but usually i dont take anything to heart whenever he spurts out some insults. ive progressed to the point where whatever he says, is just “karkat” and not him trying to be actively mean. rather, its now funny whenever he does say anything SOMEWHAT creative, dude has an imagination that goes on for miles

but vriska?? she IS trying to be a bully, you can tell. but i feel theres something much more to that. like shes trying to prove herself and her “blueblooded” demeanours or whatever the hierarchy is. she doesnt want to show emotions so she makes herself a barrier by being mean is what i can gather from her conversation with kanaya. im pretty sure youre not supposed to understand her until its pointed out and rather see her as an “antagonist” at first, but yeah, her insults are more pitiful than anything and i also cant take her too seriously. i may not like her as a person but her character is interesting because you cant always have the goodie two shoes as the protags. it doesnt diversify the characterisation so i like vriska as someone who makes the plot work and it becomes more interesting since you have someone that makes it harder for the main crew to progress. a happy-go-lucky adventure with no trouble and no turnabouts would be boring in a way. so having a character like vriska, or like this new white text guy, it makes you stop for a second and realize oh shit okay, here’s where shit CAN go wrong and WHY. and i do especially like it when these bastards of characters somehow have more depth than being the “bastard characters”. kinda humanizes them in a way. doesnt mean you have to LIKE them continuously, but theyre humans (trolls whatever) in the end and every person has their own story whether its for better or for worse

for example, i like her being placed into the story, along with white text, by how its all leading to this “accident” and is slowly showing us hints on what happened, but in the end, it wont be until later that we know the full story. even if it was in the past, it apparently is very vital to the plot and shapes how the characters act in the future, so important aspects like that are to look out for. and usually they only occur when theres been some trouble within friend dynamics. so without these bastard of characters, plot wouldnt grow AS strong and i often keep that in mind when i explore a story.

anyways, I HAD A POINT TO THIS: so vriska and karkat are characters who are yes, mean, but it seems to be their personality, and the way they either show emotions and convey feelings (karkat) or make a barrier so they DONT show emotions to produce vulnerability (vriska), white text guy seems to mostly be out to be an asshole. he told vriska she was useless to sum it up but im not too sure if this is one of those “first dialogue” to mould out a bias opinion before we even get to the character themselves, but judging by how vriska and karkat played out, he surely means something bad and i dont know how to explain it. but i cannot base anything off from one piece of dialogue. i dont even know what else to call him other than white text guy so...... ill just leave that out for now, until we finally get his introduction

though, i do wish to mention, and will expand on, im not wrong when i say karkat and vriska are similar but in different context. sorry if youre favourite is karkat and you dont like vriska, or vice versa, but uhhhh their introductions are so similar its uncanny and the way they’re portrayed is the same except one is more on crack about the meddling, while the other is angry about the meddling. similar to how it was with karkat, we were introduced to vriska talking with someone we knew (tavros) whom she obviously didnt like, so obviously, from her point of view, she wanted to be menacing. like how karkat was menacing to jade because she wouldnt listen to his point... he got angry, so he lashed out. but us, the readers, didnt know that. we thought “oh god its this asshole” until we made it further in the story and started to warm up to karkat. it may not be the same with vriska, she may be a bully regardless, but you cannot tell me we moulded a bias towards her character as we did when we first read karkat. theyre both truly mean to other people, maybe both for different reasons, but i do want to point out the similarities and not leave that out. im pretty sure andrew basically gave us a conversation that formed our opinion of a character right off the bat rather than go into depth of WHY they did it, and how they are naturally without the conditions of the game. which, you can also see with vriska when she conversed with kanaya. andrew started off with a character who only appears to speak once, and makes you judge them from first appearance alone, without any explanation as to why they said what they said and how they are with other characters, let says. so you assume they were simply a rude character. now look how karkat turned out. so im guessing in homestuck, the first impression should never be the opinion you stick with until MAYBE 5 more conversations with that character (each one different)

OKAY done with the vriska introduction, now to slutquius

yes, hes kinda weird, i have stated that many times. i have no idea what to say about him other than he likes porn, he likes centaur dick which just so happens to be his lusus as well and if that isnt a red flag idk what is

he also likes his lusus milk, right from the udders of his guardian

fun times, fun times

my opinion of equius kinda.. differs. which i should really put in place the “dont judge by first impression” rule, because at first i thought he was rude with, then i thought he was hhh okay, because i understood why he was being so protective over nepeta and her team placement, since the people she was going to play with WERE dangerous. but if you think about it, both sides will probably put you in danger. it just depends on which ones you confide in more to protect your back rather than those which would cause trouble on purpose, in my HONEST opinion. so equius was a little overdramatic on that part, but i got what he meant. he was on the blue team and he didnt want to leave nepeta alone without him on the red. but then this session happened. and he went back to being weird again because of the whole porn thing, especially being so open about it like dude chill youre 13. but the thing is, then i felt bad for him because hes basically touch starved. to say that he could break anything he touches, i doubt people would go up to him for hugs. in fear they would be crushed to death by a simple hug. so im guessing hes rather lonely and doesnt really know how to interact because of this. so i felt sad that he had to live a life where he needs to be careful of everything he touches so it doesnt break randomly. see? poor dude. but then things got weird. and im pretty sure hes a masochist. so my opinion on equius is a fucking cosine graph

which brings us to the final point:

gamzee and equius’ conversation

i dont even know.....like.........gamzee was unaware that equius was using him for his own power play roleplay, right? gamzee knew it was a roleplay but it had had some.. idk.... obvious sexual implications? and i bet gamzee didnt really know that? he thought they were only venting out through a simple roleplay and trying to get closer because he originally thought equius hated him, considering equius flat out said “i hate you” and gamzee went “you tell me everyday and im okay with that” so.. gamzee probably wanted only to get closer to equius so he helped out his little problem which.. thats so sweet but i feel bad he was coerced into something he didnt get, especially since he was innocent enough to go along without knowing equius’ true gain

anyways, equius was getting off with the hierarchy thing. considering he’s “lower” than gamzee, and gamzee is surprisingly ...high on the spectrum??? so equius wanted gamzee to boss him around, because it felt only natural to him since he’s the “inferior one” and gamzee is The Big Man. like i get that, but it was written in a way that was so uncomfortable, that i wish i didnt. equius is just a weird character... hes not BAD per say, but hes... hes something alright

but im really liking gamzee. the two things which struck me in that one conversation, was the “i dont get why we should dictate people by the colour of their blood, i just see people as people” piece of dialogue and “i cant go around pleasing just everything so its alright if you hate me”

thats... so good, idk. i really liked that. i also really liked when kanaya said “youre dangerous but dangerous people are needed and are important because it shapes you” like <33 my fucking heart

god homestuck may be a tad on the weird side with some of its characters but it surely knows how to create great lines of dialogue

and that concludes the long 4 hour session i did, hope you all enjoyed it

with that, i rest

[rinamoe]

**** Hogwarts Mystery Year 6 Chapter 45+ Spoilers / Theories

I've got some theories on the whole Merula is the mole thing. I've been reading some on tumblr when I finished the chapter. But also thought of some I havent seen, so I wanted to compile a list of all my theories.

1. Merula is the mole but she isn't doing it for bad reasons.

• When you think about how Merula has always viewed the MC as competition, its a no brainer to think she would play the MC for a chance to become more powerful. BUT during the course of 6 years their relationship has grown closer and she was even able to be the MC love interest several times. She also flirted with the MC and becomes shy when talking about crushes. She was also struck with revenge in wanting to avenge Rowan. And even almost killed Rakepick during the last cursed vault but was stopped by Jacob. I think if she was willing to kill someone whos in an organization she's so called committed to she would've been put to death had they found out. Merula could easily be trying to use R as a way to gain more power then betray them. She also used the truth potion to try to convince MC she wasn't the mole.

2. Merula is actually the mole

• Merula although I love her could actually be the mole. She could have been faking her relationship with the MC this whole time as a way to get closer to her without seeming too desperate. Notice key things like the fact that R has to somehow convince MC to join them. R knows the MC is powerful, impressionable, and want to use her. What better way to get someone to pretend to be her friend. Someone the MC trusts enough but wouldn't be suspicious about. Because Merula over the years before R was mentioned has always disliked MC. So Merula being caught hanging around shady people or being mean to her sometimes wouldn't be suspicious. As well as even though we have known Merula, amd could date Merula since year 6. We still dont have a friendship with her in the tab to gain friendship. So even if in game MC says she thinks of Merula as a friend, it can be the game showing that Merula never thought of MC as a friend and probably never will because she was betraying the MC. This is my least favorite theorie I've thought about since the last chapter of year 6 but it may be the one the game pushes.

3. Merula is being framed

• The option Merula stans around the world are praying and begging for. I have seen this theory a lot as well as thought about it myself. Merula could be being framed two ways Ive thought of.

Sitaution 1 : Someone is using a polyjuice potion to pretend to be Merula in front of R. This obviously means it has to be someone close to her because they need to consistently be collecting her hair/dna. And I say consistently because the dark witch who met 'Merula' said, "Late as usual". Which means they have been meeting up a few other times in order for the dark witch to inquire that 'Merula' is always late. This can be due to the imposters bad puncture OR because they have to sneak around since they're pretending to be someone else and are careful they aren't seen, which can lead to them being late. In this case R doesn't know that this isn't the real Merula Snyde but someone pretending to be her because of her obvious reputation of wanting to be powerful and being mean to the MC.

Situation 2: Merula is being framed BUT only that time during the last chapter of year 6. What if the mole knew that Mundungus Fletcher is somewhat of a friend of MC and purposely leaked information where he could find it and warn the MC. This would have had to be planned because the only way to pretend to be someone else is through a polyjuice potion. It also has to be someone like Jae or Ben who have connections to him or was with MC when doing deals. Dont forget once Ben turned into a 'bad boy' he was said to be hanging around the shady parts to 'find Rakepick.' Also on the topic of Ben, he was one of the friends who said they should disband the circle of Khanna. Ben knows R is out to get MC and that Rakepick wasn't the only member involved. And he knows about the hostage too. Which makes Ben a big suspect.

OR the dark witch was specifically asking around to make the MC interested in tailing them so that the MC could PURPOSELY overhear them talking. This still requires a polyjuice potion so they planned this at least a month in advance. But the dark witch and the imposter knew that the MC would be at the meeting place (which even though no one was around still in the public). All they had to do was pretend as if they're Merula and leave. Which we all know ployjuice potion wears off pretty quickly, and their meeting was quick then they left together.

This last one is the one I'm hoping for the most of course since I am a huge Merula stan and she deserves better honestly. She had this character growth and development, as well as shes always been a lobe interest and personally involved in lots of side challenges. (Unlike Ben a big suspect) Basically throwing her progress away by making her be actually working for R would be such a bad decision on JC part.

Also adding: Ben personality change could be his real personality all along. He probably didnt plan for Rowan to die or maybe he did.... Rakepick was aiming for Ben but if Ben was working for R and is powerful like they're making it seem he probably would have doged that attack but Rowan got in the way. Unless he also knew Rowan was following them and suspected they would get involved.

As well as another personality change, Merula. This and her newly aquired skill, wandless magic is what makes her look like a suspect. Since the books on wandless magic are in the restricted section at school that would mean Merula would have had to have access to 'illegal' books. Although since her parents are in Azkaban they probably had owned 'illegal' books and such at her home already. But then that begs the question why did she just learn it now and not the previous summer's going home? Why now when she's being caught in cahoots with R members? As well as shes acting much more mature but as well as distant. She came to the new school year celebration late. And also according to the MC been hard to track down.

I hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on what I think is happening with Merula in Hogwarts mystery! Id love to hear what you think. Ive been playing this game since it came out but this was so interesting i had to make a blog to talk about year 7

[unloved-cadillac]

Firstly to start off with, ummm a white kurtan, yes please, I know this bitch looks good whatever hes wearing, so it dont matter, BUT THE BLACK TANK TOP OOFFFF YOU BETTER STOP, ITS NOT GOOD FOR MY HEALTH. But moving on, I've finished reading the whole thing now, and I'm writing this in notes, so if you're getting thing like 40 minutes later it's because I'm drafting my ask. Basically I'm just gonna skim read it again and just give you my thoughts and any feedback, if that's okay with you, you can ignore this if you want to, I completely understand. I dont mind at all 😊😊

Ok to start off with, the exposition was really good, you've set the tone and introduced the Ackerman family really beautifully. When I read it initially the fact that Levi did not want a family or to get married was quite emphasised upon to me, and I'm really looking forward for the inevitable development and how his view changes as the chapters go on. I also love how you introduced Farlan and Isabel, and lightly touched upon how they met, you didnt go into too much detail and I really like that, it kept me focused on the actual story itself, which is about Levi and not Farlan. And Farlan wanting tto marry her 😢😢. I think it's really really sweet and I cant wait to see more of them. I love it so much.

The transition from setting the scene to their father being poisoned was not something I was expecting and made me go oh shit he dead. Part of me felt like it was moving too quick, but the other part of me loved the shock factor of it since it happened so suddenly. I didnt think of it as too big of an issue though, it was still enjoyable to read.

The whole encounter with the peasant guy made me wonder just how many more people there are like him, that dislike the Ackermans and would try to kill them. And whether y/n would be one of them. Also I got a bit confused as to who was speaking whether it was Farlan or Levi, but I read the sentence again and it was fine, I understood, so maybe I was just being a dumb bitch.

Oooh a quick point Levi sympathising with the criminal was really touching and made me feel warm and gooey. It shows that hes not a dick and does actually care about his people. But it also shows he has clear boundaries and is really firm. He will make a great leader in the future.

YESSS BODYGUARD ERWINNN!!!!! I WAS LITERALLY TELLING MY FRIEND THE OTHER DAY, ERWIN AND LEVI BODYGUARD AU IS THE BESTT. YES SWEETIE UGH ITS FANTASTIC. IVE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT IM SAYING IT AGAIN I LOVE IT.

Carrying on, I love the whole Erwin/Levi/Farlan interaction, of course Erwin knows everything, why wouldnt he, hes a boss ass bitch. Also again, reaffirming that Levi does not want a wife, nOicE. Really builds up his future development.

The difference in Levi's and Farlan's reaction is comical. Ones there waving and smiling and the other ones there like fuck off leave me alone. ALSO WHOEVER SAID THEY'LL GIVE UP THEIR VIRGINTY SAME GURLL SAMEEE, I WOULD TOO YOURE NOT ALONE. AND YES FARLAN IT IS FUNNY, IT MADE ME LAUGH.

Awww the people are so nice, offering things for free, that's how you know you're loved by your people, I rate it, rate Levi sm.

Okay my guy, imma need you stop for a second and relax. Taking your top of??? And your scarf??? Okay big man, I see you, I see you, looking fine af. Ahhh I love imagining this in my brain, so stimulating.

Anyways, Y/N'S HERE NOWWW YES BITCHHH IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE, TURN IT UPPPP.

Nanaba being my sister is absolutely exquisite *chefs kiss*. I really thought you'd maybe put Petra, and then Petra would like Levi as well, but no its Nanaba and I fucking love her so so much. Also not really relevant, but I dont have any older sisters, but I do have older cousin sisters and I call my favourite one didi mooni (I think that's how you spell it, or muni idk) and yeah it just reminded me of her. I haven't seen her in so so long because of the pandemic and I miss her :(

Ah. So. Y/N does hate the royals. I wanna know why?? Does she think they're overrated?? A bad experience maybe?? Everyone else seems to love them. I'll just have to wait and see I guess.

ALSO PLEASE TELL ME THE LITTLE KID WAS MIKASA!!! IM HOPING SO SO MUCH ITS MIKASA, IT PROBABLY ISNT BECAUSE SHES AN ACKERMAN HERSELF BUT I CAN STILL HOPE!!! SHES SO CUTEEE AND ADORABLE AWWWW WEVIIII 🥺🥺🥺

THEY SELL TEAAA AHHH ITS A LOVE STORY BOUND TO HAPPEN. AND HE HASNT TRIED THEM YETT!!!! YES OMGGG TEA DATES, THEY CAN BOTH SIT DOW AND SHE CAN INTRODUCE HIM TO NEW SHITT AHHHH MY HEARTTTT 🥰🥰🥰IM GETTING WAYYYY AHEAD OF MYSELF.I need to calm down.

The whole meeting with Levi and Y/N was so adorable. It felt really short and I want more, but its okayyy, hopefully there are more chapters. Them locking eyes, him following her to get the leaves, HIM HELPING HER PICK UP THE BLOODY LEAVES, THE HAIR PART REMINDS ME OF IN BOLLYWOOD MOVIES WHEN THE PROTAGS HAIR GETS STUCK IN THE GUYS WATCH OR THEIR DUPATTA OR SOMETHING. OMGG Y/N IS ONE LUCKY BITCH.

Also since you havent specified the race of y/n, just wanted to ask is she Indian?? Or it it unspecified?? You wrote that she blushed bright red and many dark skinned readers wont be able relate. So yeah I'm not too sure whether that was intentional or not, I'm sorry if I'm mistaken though. I mean no harm at all.

Farlan's relationship with Levi is just beautiful, like I know I'm using the word beautiful a lot, but their broship is immaculate. Something else that I love.

Both Levi and Y/N not wanting to get married is hilarious. I really like how you've characterised her, shes really fierce, independent and seems really kind and caring as well. I really like this Y/N, very family oriented.

If I was her dad I would've taken the money. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️ Not complaining about it because my dad would've done the exact same thing, but if I was him I wouldve taken it. Sis is broke, sis needs all the money she can get.

Both parties questioning Levi and Y/N is hilarious, fucking Erwin, I love him so much I stg. I'd sacrifice my life for him. Hes best boy 😇😇

I feel like this is really really long already so I'll quickly sum everything up, if you got this far you deserve a clap on the back and a medal, because I've basically just waffled. I really really enjoyed this chapter, it was very good in terms of introductions and getting to know the characters, I loved the initial meeting between levi and y/n and it did make my heart flutter quite a bit so that's that. I dont have any complaints really, just small minor things I've mentioned before and that's it. I really look forward to the coming chapters!!! Thank you so so much for writing it. Please make sure you're taking regular breaks and keeping hydrated and healthy. Thanks sweetie xxx 🥰🥰🥰

I’ve read this WHOLE thing..twice. I can’t stop smiling omf you’re so sweet! But, yeah minor shit I didn’t mention and I left it up to reader. Like the skin tone, sheesh. I don’t want any problems with that, I just said red blush to signify embarrassment. Reader is reader no matter what.

Aren’t we all broke af? But I liked the idea of the father being humble about it. Lol. Idk.

I don’t want to get into too much detail because that will obviously ruin the story but I love your ideas. Tea dates?! How cute! Erwin is the best, of course. He knows ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and he’s the kind of person who would follow his princes no matter what. Till the end, you know?

As I said, highly inspired by Bollywood movies lol.

You took your time and wrote all of this and I’m so fucking happy that you did. I can’t wait for all of you to see the upcoming chapters. I hope that you’re staying happy and hydrated as well. Also, happy Shivratri! (If you celebrate for it) and to everyone else celebrating.

-Caddy.