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#I need to rethink my stance on who I date
I binged Lost because a cute guy in my speech class I was talking to did a presentation about his favorite show
I watched all of Game Theory on YouTube cuz my Tinder match said he was obsessed with it
I know about Dwarven Forge because I listened to my first boyfriend talk about what he played
I have been to so many sporting events because my man wanted to do something “we could both enjoy”
No one’s ever watched my favorite movie with me
No one’s ever read my fan fiction when I told them what I do for fun
No one’s ever taken an interest in my hobbies to get to know me better…
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AITA for trying to better myself to be with my girlfriend?
Ok, I'll try to be brief, I (29M) been with my gf(27F) for 8 years, and we've known each other since high school through some common friends.
I know I've been head over heels for her since day 1, she is more selective with her partners.
She is very progressive, always pushing to better herself and when I asked her to date she said she liked me a lot but doesn't like going out with conservative people and/or people who think they don't need to learn new things to be better, so she rather not date if I had that stance, to which I said wasn't like that.
The thing is I did grew up in a very conservative household and been trying to grow out of their upbringing, this is no secret to her, and family reunions are scarce on both parts.
I've been working on myself for years, rethinking my biases, actually learning about politics affecting our community, overall challenging everything I grew up never questioning. She is also very understanding, and takes time to explain things that are not so clear to me, we end up having very stimulating conversations.
I really like the person I'm becoming.
The thing is my parents want a wedding, a religious one, but we've talked about it and we just like being together? Marrying has never been my goal, and neither hers, so we're pretty much settled in our relationship for a while, even as living together for the past 5 years.
So I got into a very heavy argument with my parents about this wedding that'll never happen. They ended up questioning my "manliness", that she is controlling me, and no sex is that good to give up all decisions to her.
They said all my "being better" was selfish and just a means to get laid so I'm just an indecent asshole for not "being truthful", my true self or whatever the meant, like I'm not their son.
I haven't talked to her about this because I'm a part I feel they're right?
I did all this to be with her?
So, AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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johnadamsnotquincy · 2 years
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Some episode ideas!!! (And some of them are totally not taken from my assassins oneshots ideas 👀)
Episodes are in no particular order and some are split up into two different storylines.
1.1) The Curator gives them all phones (with limits). The younger assassins teach the older assassins how to use electronic devices. They go into deep dives about themselves and how the world sees themselves. Someone does a TikTok dance. Idk who does, but someone does.
2.1) Ralph and Linda had a bet with each other. Ralph can go 24 hours without mentioning zombies and horror movies and Linda goes through the day Hinckley-free.
2.2) Mira and Billy get into another argument but they end up finding out they had more in common than they thought.
3) Oliver starts prankin people and they’re all blaming each other and not the youngest one. Though… someone does suspect him, but they’re always turned down (idk who suspects but someone is)
4.1) Cooper teaches Oliver some clown tricks. Crap happens and in the end one of them ends up with a leg in a cast.
4.2) Linda’s suspecting Fai and Harvey are dating, and tries to get something out of them. In the end, they’re not going out at all. (Lin, I’m not 100% sure if she would do this. Pls let me know hehe)
5) Ralph wakes up to find Mira crying to herself at the pond. Hurt/comfort type beat. This one could go into Mira’s backstory. She needs someone to talk to and that’s Ralph <3
6) The assassins all go out camping and instead of telling horror stories around the campfire, they talk about how their lives would have been if they didn’t kill/try to kill the president.
7.1) Fai and Harvey starts parenting the younger assassins (age wise)… however, some of their parenting ways may conflict…
7.2) Curator lore. Don’t really know what I mean by that but something to do with the Curator.
8.1) Cooper and Billy sneak Kokichi into the farmhouse to Cooper’s room. But when the two are out getting food for her, she escapes and causes mayhem.
8.2) Marina rethinks her stances on religion and has a conversation about it with Oliver in the church. (Until a chicken runs in, interrupting them)
9.1) The Christmas special. Everyone learns about the value of Christmas at the end. Whether it be the religious value (which would basically be no one there lmao), the commercialized value (Christmas is used as a tool by big corporations), the childhood value (for the peeps who ain’t got one of those), and the loving family value (all of that mushy gushy stuff). Someone hung some mistletoe too. But who did it?
9.2) They do Secret Santa! Let me know who y’all think who gets whose name.
10) The ones who lost a loved ones talk about coping from their losses. It continues with self-reflection and a road to recovery. They start the episode with a conversation with each other and it ends with the same concept except it’s more about acceptance.
Hey, fun suggestion. No ones’ loved ones come back. :)
Let them suffer and go through their pains without bringing them back. Have them recover. Bringing back their wives for a day might just restart the recovery process.
Also, please add more episodes to this list!!!
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greysden · 2 years
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Icon slate for windows
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#Icon slate for windows full#
#Icon slate for windows Pc#
#Icon slate for windows windows 7#
#Icon slate for windows windows#
#Icon slate for windows windows#
Only Microsoft can really give Windows a major revision with Slate PCs in mind. But most manufacturers won’t, and there’s a limit to what they can do. If hardware makers go as far as HP has with its TouchSmarts, it’ll help.
#Icon slate for windows windows 7#
Shouldn’t every icon be a lot bigger, so you can jab imprecisely without thinking about it? Wouldn’t it be better to eliminate mouse-oriented concepts such as right-clicking rather than provide workarounds, as Windows 7 does? Wouldn’t breakthroughs in on-screen QWERTY input make the whole idea more appealing? (Hey, how about something like Swype built into the OS?) When you get rid of a physical keyboard and pointing device, multiple fundamental aspects of the operating system start to get iffy.
#Icon slate for windows Pc#
I know what I think: The Slate PC is a distinct beast, and it cries out for a rethinking of Windows. Kind of different from the original rollout of the Tablet PC, when Bill Gates said he thought the majority of PCs would be Tablets within half a decade. So is the Slate PC a new platform at all? Maybe it’s more of a less distinct, lower-case slate PC? I asked Flores, who told me Microsoft had no stance. It’ll be up to PC makers to provide a Slate-specific user interface if they think it’s necessary–something akin to the ambitious touch-oriented features HP provides on its TouchSmart PCs, for instance. He said that the company had no plans to customize Windows further for Slate PCs. But is it like the Tablet PC that Bill Gates unveiled almost a decade ago at Comdex–a new hardware platform that Microsoft is enthusiastic about and will support with significant changes to Windows’ interface? Or will Slates use a stock copy of Windows 7, which already includes some touch-friendly tweaks? (For instance, you can reveal a Jump List by swiping upwards on items in the Taskbar.)Īt the show, I asked Microsoft’s Chris Flores these questions. We know the Slate PC isn’t the radical rethinking of the user interface shown in Microsoft’s Courier concept video. The debut of the Slate PCs did raise some interesting questions, though. It’s also not quite fair, given that Ballmer, for the sake of his demo, was holding the HP in an unnatural position–clutching it to his tummy with one hand, tapping it with the other, and looking at it upside-down. It’s tempting to conclude that if the CEO of Microsoft struggles (even slightly) to make a Slate PC do what he wants, everyone will. When he launched the video, he fumbled a bit, tapping the screen first in what appeared to be the wrong area of the screen, then jabbing another icon twice. He then gave a brief hands-on demonstration of the HP, using it with Amazon’s Kindle application and playing a video. He said they were “perfect– perfect–for reading, for surfing the Web, and for taking entertainment on the go.” Definitely made the device look like an extension of the user's fingers.Last Wednesday at his CES keynote, Steve Ballmer showed off three examples of what he called “Slate PCs,” from Pegatron, Archos, and HP. I watched a video of the technology and the lag was virtually undetectable.
#Icon slate for windows full#
Your thoughts?Ī bit on the technical side: I had my friend with me who is a windows engineer, he says that windows is using a new RAM concept called dehydration which basically allows you to run programs without draining significant resources of the full app.īonus: Windows was featuring a new technology that will inevitably be picked up by Apple which brought screen lag time down to 1ms as opposed to 100ms. I just think the functionality would be amazing, rather than having to open 6 apps to get up to date with the small pieces of information I need on the go. It would probably require apps icons to be a lot bigger, so they might be worried about aesthetics. To me, this is brilliantly functional and I wonder why the iPad hasn't been able to or chosen not to develop it yet. I assume a Facebook app would display notifications, an MLB app would display your favorite team's scores, and a reddit app might display top stories or whatever. The weather app icon neatly displayed current weather conditions, the calendar app icon displayed your day's schedule (it even displayed your next event on the lock screen), new apps displayed top stories. 2) (and more interesting) the home screen was completely functional, showing important relevant updates within the icons. I also like the functionality of the iPad better (switching between apps, going back to the home screen, etc.).Ī few things that were a bit nicer though: 1) it had the snap feature that they have on Windows 7, which I know is a common complaint from iPad users. The Slate is obviously lacking in 3rd party apps, which really is what makes the iPad.
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elareine · 4 years
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Reverse robins idea. Jason doesnt become a Robin. The bats dont even find him before the cat herself. Selena is still on and off with Bruce at this point. Damian as noticed the little kitten running around and decides the kitten need a more responsible adult than his father and the cat. Cue thugs being terrified of the shadow that follows the little kitten around.
Thank you for this adorable prompt <3 Sorry it took me so long to finish. 
“Uh. Dami? What’re you doing?”
Those were—a lot of throwing knives. Like, actual knives, not Bat-themed at all.
Damian didn’t look up. “Sharpening my weapons.”
They looked plenty sharp to Dick, but Damian was a fussy old maid like his father. Their father. He was still getting used to that one.
“You’re supposed to be in Metropolis,” Dick pointed out.
Damian scowled. Dick didn’t take it personally. He liked his oldest brother. Dami glared a lot and yelled at Bruce when he was mean, and he never told Dick that he should stop seeking revenge for what happened to his parents. “Change of plans.”
“Can I come?”
“You’re heading out with Father tonight,” Damian pointed out. “And anyway, no.”
“What’re you doing? Is it a date?” Full disclosure: Dick wasn’t entirely sure what a ‘date’ was. He just knew that everyone blushed when he asked the question and that Bruce, according to Alfred, never got any.
Damian, however, just shook his head. “No. It’s a mission.”
Dick tilted his head to the side. “I don’t believe you.”
“That does not matter. It is the truth either way.”
Bullshit. Damian was sharpening his weapons, okay, but there was no mission for him in Gotham tonight. Bruce had told Dick so when he mentioned that all that would be happening tonight was a Catwoman heist, so he would pick Dick up after.  
(Dick had a sneaking suspicion that for Bruce, ‘heist’ and ‘date’ meant the same thing.)
Nooo, Damian was up to something. Something important—or embarrassing—enough that he would lie to his cute little brother about it.
Just wait until he told Babs about this! She was always going on about “Steph did this” and “Cass did that,” and now, finally, Dick had a juicy mystery to distract her. Hehe. This was going to be fun.
Selina would never understand Bats. If you’d asked her twenty years ago if she could see Bruce adopting a gaggle of orphans, she’d have laughed but agreed—if the kids were all alone in the world or in a situation that reminded Bruce of his own.
Like, the first kid—okay. That was his son. From the daughter of an immortal cult leader, Selina later found. Weird enough. Then the second just showed up because… the city needed him? And he was right? And then another assassin kid, this time a daughter.  
Really, only Dick fitted the pattern she’s envisioned for Bruce. Which was ironic, because, by that time, she’d taken in her own boy (the first after two Catgirls), who fit the pattern much better.
Of course, their child-rearing methods showed some marked differences. Selina thought it was for the better, really. Jay needed to be trusted, given responsibility, to determine his own fate. She let him run his own missions, treated him as an almost-equal when they went out together, didn’t comment on how he sometimes didn’t seem focused on the target so much as on the corrupt people owning it. Jay was thriving.
When his shadow showed up, Selina had expected him to be angry, the way he was whenever B mentioned a concept like ‘bedtime’ or Selina tried to protect him. But he’d lit up like there was nothing more comforting than a six-foot-four shadow following you around, glaring at criminals and innocents alike.
Selina, in her heart of hearts, did not like Damian. She didn’t fault him for his flaws, but it was hard to like someone who called you a harlot under his breath a million times.
Jay, though, adored him. Like, hung-onto-his-few-words, begged-to-buy-a-sword adored him. They even went out on patrol together sometimes. So Selina… let them. Taught Jay more restraining holds and knock-out moves than she had the others because he was a gifted thief already, but that was clearly not all that would be on his path.
And, hey. Usually, she and Bruce had to put their… thing on hold when they were responsible for pre-teens. If these ones took care of themselves, she wasn’t going to complain.
“Dames,” Jon greeted him cheerfully, “what’re you up to? Gonna join me tonight?”
“I can’t.”
At twenty-seven, Jon was way too old to pout. He still did. “Aww, why not? Important mission?”
“Not precisely.” There was shuffling on the other end of the line. “I… Catwoman is planning a two-person heist tonight. Batman has intentions of preventing it.”
Jon instantly forgave him. He looooved seeing this side of his partner. Damian rarely let himself be openly soft about anyone but his family, pets, and team, and even that was kept incredibly guarded.
(He often considered that Damian would have benefited from being a younger sibling. Being the first to come live with Bruce had been a steep learning curve for the man. Too steep.)
Didn’t mean Jon wouldn’t tease Damian about it. “So two adults are not supervision enough for the kid?”
“You know it isn’t,” Damian growled. “Father and that woman might do a passable job separately, but not together.”  
“What, are they fucking again?”
“Jon!”
Jon laughed. “C’mon, you caught them often enough to know it’s happening.”
“I’m not listening.” Damian immediately proved himself a liar by adding: “This is a dangerous area. They should know better.”
“Good thing you’re there, then.”
“I am sorry, though.” Damian’s voice softened. Jon once again marveled at how far he’d come. The teenager he’d befriended back then would never have such a thing. “Rain check?”
“I could join you, instead,” he offered, just to hear Damian sputter: “What—no! Your colors are visible a mile away!”
“Awww, don’t be like that!”
He decided then and there to keep an ear out for the kid when Damian wasn’t there. Just in case Jason wanted to sneak away to find his birth mother in a foreign country or some other stupid dramatic Gotham shit.
After hearing what had happened to Damian years ago, Jon had already made it his mission to protect the Robins, whether they wanted it or not. There wouldn’t be any more dead ones on his watch. It wouldn’t hurt to add a kitten to the list.
Jason had it handled. Really, he had. One of the goons had just taken a bit longer to go down, that was all. The knife had been totally unnecessary.
It took him another three minutes to do anything about that—two of the security guards were still standing, and they were pissed. Jason pushed one down the hallway, choked the other, and then clocked the first so hard he went down.
Then he turned around and searched for the darkest shadow. “I had that.”
Nothing moved.
“…it was a pretty good throw.” Maybe Jason should rethink his stance on throwing sharp shit at people, after all. He still maintained that a gun would be cleaner and more straightforward. Maybe Selina (and Damian) were right though about the value of silence. Their fight hadn’t alerted anyone.
At that, the thrower finally emerged from the shadows, cape dramatically outlining his figure. Jason rolled his eyes. What was it with Bats and dramatic costumes? Selina had made him swear that no matter how much he hung out with them, he wouldn’t ever wear one of the stupid things, and that was one promise that had been very easy to give.
“I have an observational task at the Bowery in two hours and could benefit from a second pair of eyes,” Damian said stiffly. “And your knowledge of the area, of course.”
Oh, awesome. Jason loved working in his old neighborhood. Made him feel useful, like he was doing something. “Can it wait an hour? Only, I’m kinda busy here, in case you didn’t notice.”
“Of course.” Was that a smile under the mask? “I will be waiting.”
Jason gave him a thumbs-up, though he made sure to call: “Don’t barge in again!” while running off. Selina would be waiting.
Jason had had a mother. Still had, really, death didn’t change that. Selina had told him she didn’t want to replace her, which was good cause she couldn’t. As for fathers—Nah. Jason had had enough of those for a lifetime; thank you, Bruce, you can fuck off.
But a big brother? That was new.
He liked it.
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hongism · 2 years
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Usually I'd pick joing or hwa without thinking. But that quote from San got me rethinking my everything 👀👀 can't wait to read more from blood masquerade. Love the mystery and the sorta, non explanation introduction if that makes sense? I like just being involved with the story as if I ✨ obviously ✨ know what's going on (I usually don't)
-21y redeemed fool
heh im glad, the point was to get people to rethink their usual choices and consider other options. i don’t want this to be a bias game but really a story and character driven game. i do love doing the whole ‘in media res’ story start, that’s something i do a lot and i like building from there so this falls under that umbrella too !
​ " You have probably already heard it from the introductory letter, but we are all quite excited to have you attend the evening party this year. Myself especially, seeing as I am hosting this year, and although my brother will be present, I hope you know he has done nothing to assist my efforts in making this party happen other than request certain liquors. "
Ah yes, brothers. Don't we just love them. And of course we also need to point out the fact that they did nothing, and then also throw them under the bus and day they've been drinking and (most likely) actually disrupting the decorating process
-21y redeemed fool
yes exactly 😆 that pair of brothers has quite a fun dynamic and relationship and i think it’ll be fun to view from the reader’s pov as well :D
" In the event that none of his choices suit your taste (although I must warn you that he was very extensive in the list he provided for me), please do not hesitate to request something you would prefer in your response to this letter. I will see to it that all your needs are seen to before and during your stay in Taimatsu. Unlike other more unsavory types, I do not say this to encourage any good fortune from you"
Can I request anything, anything? Then I'm ordering hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream and grated chocolate chips (you know the little rolly swirl pieces)
And about that unsavoury good fortune, you might not encourage it but I do 👀👀👀
-21y redeemed fool
something tells me you’ll be interested in the fox and the leopard with that line of thought 🤔
" a rather unassuming length of red velvet with a pearl set in the center. It’s original intent is to be worn around the neck like a piece of jewelry, but if that does not strike your fancy, you can wear it wherever you like. "
So either a choker, a gag or a very charming garter. Honestly I could totally see that being a tease, wearing a dress that shows off one leg and lo and behold if he sneaks a peak at that leg he'll find his little velvet piece wrapped around the top of the thigh👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
-21 redeemed fool
hardly a gag omg reader has to wear it to a party 😭 it all depends tho !
Last year's events?????? Good or bad??? Like sexy, or like murder? Or sexy murder?
(wait I have forgotten your stances on ✨specific✨ links, I'll have to find out before my next ask)
-21y redeemed fool
it’s safe to assume it was less sexy and more unpleasant jkhjkfghdkjfg but im not 100% sure what you mean by specific links so? please let me know and i can tell you what my stance is!
"  There is much that could be said of our annual affairs, and even more about the eight of us who arrange the festivities. With the Wolf being one of our hosts this year, I assure you everything is in good hands as long as the Fox remains in good spirits and keeps himself busy beforehand. I have personally assisted with some of the finer details and necessities for the party, and I believe our efforts combined have proven fruitful. This year – if I may speak boldly in this letter – might yet be our most successful party to date, which makes it even more fitting that someone of your station can at last join us."
Oh no. Fox is gonna cause trouble. Owl jinxed it. Now fox is gonna have cause trouble xD. Also "of your station" so the reader is like. High fancy class, not just fancy class👀👀
-21y redeemed fool
the fox is one of the hosts so we’ll have to see what exactly he acts like with that responsibility 🤣 reader is a mystery for now but we’ll see 👀
First red velvet, now white dove. Reader gonna show up peacocked out in all their gifts just to add chaos
Also
​   " Please take your time in considering this, and I will wait with bated breath until the day is finally upon us to see you."
Bated breath is so hot/ romantic i can't wait to read more!👀
-21y redeemed fool
there will only be one item from the boys that makes it to the party, that’s the first decision sooo won’t be fully decked out in everyone’s gifts only one of them >:D
​  "Whilst I am not one who enjoys too much in the way of social gatherings beyond my inner circle, I must admit that I am intrigued to meet someone who comes from your region. It’s not a luxury I’ve had before, and you can understand why there’s so much intrigue surrounding you since not many leave the region’s walls once inside. "
Oh so we fancy high class and rare?? They most have won the lottery in that case
not quite rare, but that last bit he says about not many people leaving the region’s walls is highly important to the reader’s history!
He keeping it short and to the point. But where the other two wanted the fun of seeing their gifts. I think it'll be Hella a lot more fun to not wear that earring. Mr "i don't play cat and mouse" well then it's just gonna be bird and mouse. Deal with it¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-21y redeemed fool. I'll stop the spam now, got to work
indeed he is, he’s very much fitting of the otome type of ‘here’s a gift i dont care but i secretly do’ 😆 i had a lot of fun building these characters as you can see !
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jojoreadwhat · 4 years
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there’s nowhere that I wouldn't go. // h.s. x fem!reader • fluff
- hello lovies, long time no see. well i’m back with some things in the works. this is just a kickstarter and a introduction of what my work will look like from now. i hope you enjoy! -
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y/n and harry get into a spat and sometimes space isnt the answer.
this is just full of angst and lots of fluff.
words;? semi-proofread sry. also shitty ending and it’s been a while so I’m rusty. I apologize in advance.
i listened to this
+
harry has been somewhat of an unofficial ambassador for the brand and was invited to a party supporting gucci and their new line launching this fall. giving you both access to material first hand, and you the honor of being his plus one, publicly debuting after two years together. dressed in the pieces sent with the invitation from head to toe. you had arrived fashionably late to the gathering, hand in hand on the gold carpet leading to the entrance of the beautifully architectural place the event was being held in. the interior of the place timeless and oozing in elegance. low lit from the gold sconces along the cream colored walls. white table cloths and golden runners, covering the round tables, topped with elaborate centerpieces filled with gardenias.
it all felt like a dream. indulging in the atmosphere to dress up to the nine’s, sipping on fancy drinks and dancing to the italian music echoing through the gallery. with the hundreds of people circling around harry and you both as swayed closely. feeling out of place and belonging all at once, harry noticed this often throughout the event. he could see the stars in your eyes as well as the restlessness about to descend. he made you feel like you were on top the world. his sweet reassuring gestures. soft hands firm across your silk covered back, securing you. harry’s rosy plump lips grazing your ear, muttering sweet nothings in his thick rasp voice and tickling your cheeks pink. reminding you that you were meant to be here with him.
until she interrupted.
you weren’t bothered at first, you were fully aware before tonight had arrived that she would be here. that she could possibly be a nuisance and want harry’s attention. and there wasn’t animosity towards her from you because without her and her letting go of harry, you wouldnt be here as his girlfriend.
that all changed after the night went on. you were exiting the ladies room when she was all over harry. she had pulled away when you came back to the picture but it didn’t stop there. when she brought up unnecessary past between him and her. being all touchy feeling and giving you a devious smirk as she went on. it didn’t help that she looked stunning, her golden blonde hair dancing along her glowing ivory skin and her jumpsuit accentuated all the right places. looking more suited as harry’s date and making your confidence tonight, deflat. at the same time you couldn’t blame her for being herself. you couldn’t blame her for wanting to weave her way back into Harry, even with you standing next to him. but the knot forming in your stomach at him not doing too much to defuse the interaction didn’t go unnoticed.
now bursting through the front door of Harry and yours shared LA apartment. irritated and ready to pop. you looked to any room to go to as long as you weren’t in the proximity of your boyfriend who you left in the driveway. you had just endured twenty minutes of arguing on the drive back from the party. your face felt hot to touch and you swore anyone could see steam leaving your ears.
you trotted up the stairs, your heels in hand, as you climb up to your bedroom. still internally fuming and spaced out in your own thoughts, you didn’t realize how close harry was behind. not hearing the door once it closed, instead his leather clad feet hitting the hardwood of the hallway to the room you were in. getting louder as they approached before halting.
“love, please.” he spoke first, he wasn’t expecting the night to end like this. the complete opposite to be exact. not standing in the doorway with caution as he watched not help you detangle yourself from tonight’s attire.
you were delicately loosening the straps of your dress to fall down your arms, trying to be purposeful with it while wanting to rip it off in anger.
“no.” simply stating, not making any contact as you held the now strapless dress to your bra less chest as you scrimmage through your tee shirt for a shirt harry’s to sleep in. “your actions spoke for themselves.” finishing then as you let the dress fall to the floor, rolling your shirt on to drop at the top your thighs. not giving harry an ounce to the imagination of what could’ve happened tonight.
Harry sighed, exasperatedly. catching from the corner of your eye him running his ring-covered fingers through his thick dark curls. pushing off the door frame before finally stepping into your shared bedroom. “I know and they were not truthful.”
“Ha, okay. Sure they weren’t.” you scolded, standing at your tall dresser as you took off your jewelry. shaking your head.
Harry was loosening up his bowtie, creeping closer to you before you turned to him. silently telling to stay put. “I mean it, I know that I didn’t act appropriately.” He owned, “But I didn’t know what to do! I didn’t know she was going to try all of that.”
you huffed loudly, your hand flattening to the top the dresser before you could move and work on the next earring. “oh c,mon Har! you warned me about her antics and now you didn’t know what she was going to do?” You reminded. Harry’s head fell in defeat before he snapped back up to you. “I know what I said! But I didn’t know she was going to be that bold.”
you looked at him dead, “do you know who you are?” realizing that you were unintentionally quoting him again. you watched his adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallowed, noticing what you said too. “are you trying to make this a laughing matter now?” He questioned, “you were about to rip my head off minutes ago.”
“i’m not, please scratch that because that wasn’t my intent.” you explained, watching the corner of his mouth shift upward. he knew you like the back of his hand, he knew that this would lead to making up sooner or later, he knew you were upset and still trying to keep yourself together and also have your moment and express yourself. he loved you for it, you hated it cause you were trying to be serious. but you made him a better man, he needed you more than you may have felt tonight. he knew what happened at the gathering was wrong, he could’ve done more to stop it all. it’s the reason for this recalculation of tonight’s events.
you pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to regain your thoughts before you looked at him again. his green orbs still staring at you, waiting for what to leave your pretty lips next. “in all of this, you may not have known what to do to stop her. but you knew what you were doing when your grip left my body and your attention went to her.” you spoke, then. “just like you had warned me about and I wasn’t prepared that you would actually give it to her.”
harry didn’t say anything after that. trying to piece together the words that everything she was feeling wasn’t wrong, he hurt her, unintentionally. it was the further thing from his mind in the moment that everything was happening. it was more vigilance because he knew what his ex was about. but never in the slightest was it to crawl back to her. Not when his everything was standing in front of him, doubting herself and her stance in his life.
“it wasn’t supposed to be perceived like that, please let–” You shook your head causing Harry to stop speaking midstream. “I don’t want to keep talking about it. I just want to sleep.” She said then. “we’ll talk more about it in the morning.” Moving to her side of the bed to start removing the throw pillows. Harry sighed heavily, shuffling his feet to his side, grabbing his pillow. “I’ll be in the guest room.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2am had come around rather slow and you still wide awake. tossing and turning in your california king. trying to get comfortable as you wrapped the sage duvet closer to yourself. seeking to drift off at any minute now. but despite your eyes feeling heavy, your mind was racing.
this was the last thing you wanted. the only time harry and you ever slept apart was when he was away, entertaining the world. you wanted to stand your ground, but as you laid there able to rethink everything. harry wasn’t the bad guy here. he did a lot more than you thought.
he came home with you. he paused the idea of a good night out, to make sure that you knew were his main focus of the night. of his life. not the party, not the friends or old lovers. you.
you didn’t see that in the moment, everything was overwhelming. your thoughts were taking over and making the little things seem like the problem. when the biggest action was he followed you out that door, went through what felt like a lifetime drive home of fighting, proving that the situation between him and her was the last thing he was concerned about. because what mattered more was you.
rubbing your face in your hands, you stared back up at the ceiling, annoyed with yourself. this became bigger than it needed to be. and you were feeling it hard when you looked over at the spot empty next to you.
you threw the duvet off yourself, turning and sitting up off the side of the bed. your bare feet hitting the chilled wood before making a beeline to the bedroom door. you tip toed down the hall until you came to the third door on your right. taking a breath, you went to raise your hand and knock lightly on the guest room door when it opened before you could hit the white wood with your little knuckles. and a shirtless harry stood before you.
from what you could see from what little light the window gave near by. he was having the same problem as you, his green eyes slightly reddened from the mixture of sleep deprivation and rubbing them. surprised even by seeing you standing there. his dark brown curls, tossled in all directions upon his head.
“are you alright, love?” he asked as if everything was okay. putting you before him. it made your heart swell and hurt at the same time.
you nodded, “yeah, just can’t sleep.” you said, he huffed lightly, his hand reaching behind to scratch his head. “me neither. it’s a bit cold in here.” he replied, then. knowing the exact underline of what he meant.
looking down at your pink painted toes. before meeting his eyes again. feeling your eyes become glassy. “look, I’m sorry.” you began. harry shook his head, immediately pulling you to him. your arms wrapped around his toned torso swiftly. your face colliding to his chest, smelling his signature cinnamon and vanilla scent. what smelt like home to you. “no, love, I’m sorry. for everything.” you pulled away slightly, still wrapped up in him and meeting his green eyes. you were not going to allow him to take the blame.
“Har, no. you didn’t have to come back home with me but you did. you didn’t have to deal with me on the way home, but you did. you–“
harry raised two fingers to your lips. stopping your ramble mid-stream. his fingers than moved to caress your jaw, keeping your eyes locked on his. “please stop, y/n.” he muttered soft, raspy and covered in sleep. “it’s okay. really.”
you raised at your brow at him. “but why?” you asked, why was he just taking it? you wondered. harry just smiled, his hand now enveloping your face, thumb running over your soft cheek. “because I love you, more than you know and I made you feel like I didn’t.” you went to protest again, but he stopped you once more.
“I dont want to hear anymore about tonight. there’s a perfectly, cozy bed in our room. waiting for me and the love of my life. and the past two hours have been awful without you next to me.”
the smile harry put on you, spread across your lips before you could stop it. you wrapped an arm around Harry’s neck. bringing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss, pulling away shortly after. “I love you too.” you said, then.
“let’s not waste another minute, let’s get some sleep.” not saying another word, tangling harry’s long, ring covered fingers in yours. before heading down the hall, to your bedroom, to where you both belonged together and for always.
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forbidding-souda · 4 years
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OHH I love that last Souda prompt! How about something similar, but instead it’s Gundham’s s/o arguing with Kazuichi??
Gundham’s S/O arguing with Kazuichi Souda
Ikr like that last prompt kinda went crazy I was like woah this potential. Plus the response I got from it was killer ya’ll really liked it didn’t you :0
I popped off with this please no one take this climax seriously I’m /HJ
-Mod Souda
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All you can do is twindle your thumbs as Sonia walked into the arcade with Gundham.
Why are you nervous around Gundham still? You’ve already been on a date with him. 
It was a trip to the library, oh, all of those books! How splendid it was! You told him about all of the novels and dictionaries you have read in your life to fill the boringness of reality. To keep yourself busy.
All the romance books you have read could not have prepared you to actually fall in love.
When he sees you his eyes light up. Oh! So this is where his dark priestx of the eclipse has been staying.
“Good evening, my dearest!” He greets, extending his elbow for you to intertwine yours in. Sonia gives you a smile, skipping to walk ahead of you two. 
You reply, “An evening is the time periodt between 18:00 and midnight. It is not even 17:00 yet.”
“Oh, how cute are the two of you, I’ll see you two upstairs!” Sonia calls with a laugh to herself.
It feels like you are standing in front of a fire place. Your face burns with a fluster. You and Gundham are alone and it’s terrifying.
But it doesn’t last too long, as Sonia almost immediately walks back down stairs. 
“I change my mind,” she says with an innocent smile. 
It takes a few seconds for you to understand why.
“M-Miss Sonia, wait!”
Gundham’s fist clenches at the sound of his voice, turning his body to almost shield you from him. But it’s just Kazuichi, what harm can he even do? 
But it always has to be something with him, doesn’t it? You’ve observed his uncanny appreciation for Sonia. Now that you’re friends with her, however, it is definitely more noticable than it was before.
Honestly, it’s starting to make you a little anxious.
He pauses when he sees Gundham, almost not even taking notice of you. And he points an accusing finger. “Are you trying to take Sonia from me, you cretin!” 
Your boyfriends body shifts again, leaning more to cover you up. She hums to herself as she walks by, ignoring his words and waiting for the two of you to follow after her.
Even Gundham turns to leave him behind.
You stand to the side, though, your stance wider than your shoulder length.
“Mr. Souda, can you please define the word cretin for me?”
He takes a step back, eyebrows twitching. The question came out of nowhere. What does it even matter?
“Yea, uh...” His unintelligence is almost contagious. “It’s just someone who’s really dumb, right?”
“Dumb. That’s another one.” You hold up two fingers, tapping them individually. “But you’re wrong.”
Both Sonia and Gundham stop in their places, turning to watch the situation as it unfolds. What were you doing? Did you even have a point?
Sonia even puts her hand on his forearm, stopping him from trying to reach out to you.
You continue. “Cretin is a word from Romandy, a region in Switzerland where they speak French. The word translates to human being. How about that, can you guess what the actual definition is now?”
You are picking from his brain slowly, a conscious effort to stop him in his tracks, make him rethink his words. If it would ever come to you just walking up and slapping him, you’d be happy to do that too.
“You’re gonna outsmart me, now? Jeez, if I would have known I could have brought my dictionary.”
When you don’t respond, he sighs and shoves his hands in his pockets. “Does it mean a damned person? Like, someone cursed?”
The conversation had Sonia thinking back to her lessons. What does cretin mean? 
“Mr. Souda, you shouldn’t be using words you don’t know the definition of. But fine, I’ll enlighten you.” You flick a strand of hair out of your face. “A cretin is someone whose appearance has been shaped by congenital hypothyroidism. The illness leads to learning disabilities and slow movements, thus where the controversy starts. The translation means human being as a reminder that they are still human, and not a beast. Doesn’t that seem unfair to you?”
His fingers slip under his beanie, pulling it down in shame. “Alright, smartass, what’s your point?”
Your point? Oh, that’s the best part. You have to be brave, you have to stand up for Gundham without a single fault to your words.
Had you truly had a friend group instead of a library to bask in, none of this would even be possible. 
What is left now in the silence of the arcade are the soft footsteps that emit from your shoes as you walk towards him. You stop at arms length to give him a big smile.
“Please do not use words you do not know the meaning for them. Not only is it albiest, but surely your illiteracy will smear your relationship with the princess.”
You turn, just a little, considering to tell him your goodbyes and leave with your friends. But a part of you hesitates. 
This... is the feeling of satisfaction. It’s the moment in the books when the hero defeats the villain. It’s fulfilling a desire, a need, and adoring the outcome.
Oh, how lovely it feels!
This is the closest you have ever been to feeling human.
You raise your left hand, your palm stinging once it leaves contact with Kazuichi’s cheek. You clench your fist, flexing it. So that’s how it feels to slap someone.
“And as our generation words it, get wrecked.”
Horrible.
Gundham rips his arm away from Sonia, running up to you. You shift to look at him. 
You are inconclusive on how you think he’d react. Is he angry? Unable to forgive you? Or is he grateful that you are here?
It is weird for you to be worried over something.
Him drawing your attention leaves you vulnerable, and Kazuichi takes the moment to strike back. To the sound of Sonia’s gasp, your boyfriend pulls you close, and catches his hand mid strike. 
“That is enough!” His voice booms. Your eyes soften as his hand tightens around you. 
You had to take a deep breathe to ensure you wouldn’t pass out. You forgot he was so protective. 
And he practically drags you outside. With the sun on your face, you are almost blinded. Maybe if you stare at it for long enough you won’t be able to see his expression, no matter how he feels.
After a moment of silence, his back turned to you, he puts a hand on your shoulder. “The obligation you feel to defend my honor was commendable, but please, I do not want to see you in such a dangerous situation ever again.”
“Gundham, this entire place is a dangerous situation. Even if he hit me, and then what?” You hesitate, putting a hand to your cheek. “I’ve never been hit before.”
But you knew that anything you could have said would not have changed the meaning behind his words.
He opens his mouth to speak, his eyebrows curved down into a grimace.
Subconsciously, you take a step forward, leaning against his chest in the process.
“I-” He flutters, the touch catching him off guard, and him not knowing where to put his arms. There’s a glint in your eyes, something mischievous, and you put your face in front of his.
“But wasn’t it so beautiful? I experienced so many different things just from that one conversation!”
His mouth hangs open. That’s your way of thinking? That’s why you went so far?
Slowly, he rests both of his hands on your sides, pulling you into a hug. His movements are passive and a bit cautious. 
“Just stay safe. I promise I will stay safe as well.”
He rests his forehead against yours, tightening his grip on you. It makes you smile.
“I will promise as well, then.”
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politesper-moved · 3 years
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Bellow the cut is my really lengthy MLA formatted essay on Itsuki’s memory concerns. This was written for a class, so that’s why it’s written the way it is. I’m too lazy go go through and edit it much so you’re getting it in it’s raw glory:
The Haruhi Suzumiya franchise is full of many mysteries; as a series that only just a few months ago left a nine-year hiatus in which there was little to no content released that contributed to the greater story at hand, there are a lot of unanswered questions in the novels that we likely won’t be getting any answers to anytime soon. One of those being the character of Itsuki Koizumi. As of the date this essay has been written, Itsuki is the only main character in the novels that has not had an entire book dedicated to his character and struggles. Haruhi Suzumiya, the titular character, has The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya; Yuki Nagato has The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, Mikuru Asahina has The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya, and Kyon is the main narrator of the entire series, which means every single novel has focused on him. However, out of the eleven books released thus far, Itsuki Koizumi has only been relevant as a means to give exposition to our main character or in side-stories that give us little insight into his real nature/character. However, there may be a reason as to why he is the most mysterious of the bunch, aside from that being his defining character trope when introduced. That reason has to do with his memory. 
Throughout most novels, Itsuki has given us an excellent insight into his thought process. As a character whose primary purpose is to provide the audience with much-needed explanations for what’s going on, you would think that was all he is: a way to give information. However, Tanigawa is known for subverting tropes in his work, and Itsuki Koizumi is no exception. While Itsuki is brilliant, he makes one thing incredibly clear throughout his words: he is not sure if what he is saying is true. Every time he gives Kyon information, it is done in a way that is deemed theoretical. Itsuki is constantly speculating on what’s going on in the series, and we are led to believe that he is an unreliable narrator, much like Kyon himself. Itsuki refers to himself as a skeptic to the Agency’s theory that Haruhi is “God” and brings up plenty of counter-arguments to that theory. He says that he is in the minority of believing that, however, and thus bounces ideas off of Kyon to get a better understanding of what’s going on around him. This brings up our first issue with his character. As, in The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, Kyouko Tachibana- who is a member of the organization that rivals the one Itsuki is from- says this: “...didn’t you know? Koizumi created the Agency from the ground up. He’s been the leader from the very beginning” (Tanigawa 2011).
If this fact is true, why would Itsuki be at odds with the Agency’s views of Haruhi? A lot of information that Itsuki gives Kyon about the Agency is contradictory. While one can infer that he’s just been lying this entire time, we also know that Itsuki is too smart to have holes in his story like that. Not only has he been proven to be a great improviser, but a convincing one. This can be showcased any time that Haruhi has a run-in with a supernatural force. To keep her from finding out that such things exist in the world, he has come up with explanations on the spot for unnatural happenings. While to Kyon and us the audience, they seem ridiculous, that’s also because we know what’s going on. To Haruhi herself, a character who has been proven to be incredibly perceptive, they are convincing. To think that Itsuki would be contradictory in his statements about the Agency, which even has Kyon put suspicions on him, is something I find suspicious in a different way. 
In The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Itsuki introduces himself as a subordinate of the Agency. And, up until The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, that statement seems to check out. While we always get the feeling that Itsuki knows more than he lets on, his rank in the Agency is never in question until the second to last novel (as of writing this). At the end of the Surprise novel, Kyon decides to question Itsuki about his place in the Agency. He says that he assumed Mori, another member of the Agency, was his boss. He explains to Itsuki that Mori refers to him very casually, but he wonders what she refers to him as when not around. In the English translation of the novel, some of the nuisances are left out. Kyon refers to honorifics here, suffixes added to the end of names that help signify a relationship between you and the person you’re talking to. Mori refers to Itsuki by his last name, without any honorific, when Kyon is around; that signifies that she is either above him or on equal footing with him. Kyon is wondering if Mori refers to Itsuki more formally in a closed setting, trying to tip-off to Itsuki that he has suspicions that he may have been lying to him about being a subordinate in the Agency. Then, Itsuki says something that completely disregards everything he has explained about his position in the past: “...we don’t have the kind of hierarchy that exists in a corporation. There are no superiors- everyone is the same. There’s no hierarchy among comrades” (Tanigawa 2011). 
Another interesting thing to note here is that this is the same book that Itsuki says he will have to rethink his past theories and finally proclaims that he himself believes Haruhi is a God. While it’s subtle, this is undoubtedly a large shift in his character, and one might assume that Itsuki changing up his story so late in the game would be out of character for him- they would be right. However, it is not without proper build-up. In fact, throughout many novels before this, Itsuki hinted that his memories are in danger. 
Itsuki’s character revolves around mystery, so you have to look at everything he says with a critical lens, especially if it seems out of place in a conversation. All of this memory-related paranoia from him started after The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, specifically the story Snowy Mountain Syndrome. Yuki Nagato falls ill while they’re trapped inside a time-warping mansion in the middle of a blizzard. Under these circumstances, Itsuki makes a fundamental promise to Kyon: “If a situation should ever arise where Nagato is in a great deal of trouble [...] I will betray the ‘Agency’ one time and ally myself with you” (Tanigawa 2004). Not too much later in that scene, Itsuki ensures Kyon that he is still loyal to the Agency; however, the Brigade is starting to become more of a priority. A few books later, in The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya, he makes his stance more clear “If asked which side I belong to, the SOS Brigade comes to mind, first and foremost. My feelings tend toward it, rather than the Agency [...] If the Agency gave me an order that ran counter to the interests of the SOS Brigade, I might find myself upon the horns of a dilemma” (Tanigawa 2005). These are not statements that make sense under the idea that Itsuki created the Agency, but Kyouko also has no reason to lie at that moment. Not to mention, Itsuki’s behavior after making these statements runs counter to the idea that he is lying about his loyalties to gain Kyon’s trust. I will get into that soon. Something to consider here is the idea that Itsuki himself is unaware that he is the Agency’s creator. While that sounds convoluted, it begins to make more sense as you consider Itsuki’s behavior in the books following The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya.
One thing to remember about Itsuki is that he is smart. While he claims himself not to be a genius, in The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, it is confirmed that even people from the future consider him a dangerous individual because of his above-average ability to infer things. The Mikuru Asahina from the future even states that “A single careless word from me could become ten words’ worth of information for you” (Tanigawa 2011). Needless to say, he’s very perceptive. So, when Itsuki begins making claims that are alluding to the fact that his memories may be tampered with in the future, it isn’t something that we should brush off as the readers.
The book that features his worries quite prominently is the first big story after Snowy Mountain Syndrome: The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya. I’ll be going through the two most essential hints Itsuki gives us towards the idea his memory may be getting tampered with, starting with Itsuki’s indications that there are other kinds of espers. 
Up until this point of the series, we assume for the most part that all espers are like Itsuki, as in, their powers are limited. Itsuki is only able to use his powers under specific conditions. Said conditions begin when he enters the closed spaces made by Haruhi to fight off Celestials, a subconscious representation of her negative emotions and desire to recreate the world. Itsuki has claimed in the past that the Agency must destroy the Celestials and stop Haruhi from subconsciously destroying the world with her powers and that it is their purpose for existing. And then, Itsuki drops this: “I am an esper- though my abilities and range are a bit limited. But can you be sure that I am the only one? I don’t mean anti-Celestials like me. How can we say for certain there aren’t more straightforward superhumans with, for example, the power to see the future, perhaps even attached to the Agency” (Tanigawa 2005). When Kyon asks whether or not people like that exist, Itsuki claims that he’s unsure since he is “an underling” and is kept in the dark about these things. However, Itsuki never brings up a theory of his when he doesn’t have reason to believe it. While usually, Itsuki backs up his points, here he refrains from giving too much information. It’s not out of character for him to do something like this, though. It’s often that Itsuki only gives Kyon enough information to come to conclusions independently, rather than try to force his own opinions and beliefs on the main character. The idea that there are espers with capabilities we are unaware of is something to keep in mind when considering the biggest hint that Itsuki gives us: his blatant paranoia about his memories being erased.
Later on, in The Intrigues of Haruhi Suzumiya, Itsuki reminds Kyon that he has become incredibly grateful towards the Brigade and the opportunities it has allowed him to have. In addition to that, he asks Kyon if he remembers what he said to him during the incident they had on that snowy mountain. Of course, Kyon states that he remembers- claiming that if Itsuki ever went back on that promise, he would join forces with Haruhi and “come up with a punishment the likes of which he’d never seen” (Tanigawa 2005). Then, Itsuki states something peculiar: “That’s a relief. If I ever suffer from amnesia, things will be alright- you’ll remember for me” (Tanigawa 2005). In the book right after this one, The Indignation of Haruhi Suzumiya, Itsuki makes a similar comment on the topic of remembering his promise about protecting Nagato: “‘I remember it, of course. And even if I did forget, I’m quite certain that you’d remind me. Wouldn’t you?’ He smiled pleasantly and gestured. ‘When the time comes’” (Tanigawa 2006). His concern regarding memories starts extending to Kyon in the next book, The Dissociation of Haruhi Suzumiya, in which Itsuki’s mental/emotional state seems to be taking a turn for the worse. Kyon comments on how any normal person would be fatigued dealing with Haruhi on a daily basis, and Itsuki responds with the following- I will quote the passage in its entirety, as it’s something that isn’t easily paraphrased:
“I am not speaking in conventional terms. You do remember my true nature and responsibility, don’t you? The real reason why I am here?”
At first it was to observe Haruhi, and then it became being her flunky, I said.
“Excuse me, but surely you haven’t forgotten that I am an esper, nor have you forgotten when, where, how, and with whom my powers are utilized.”
I remembered all right, having gotten enough of an earful about it. His confession had come after Nagato’s and Asahina’s- in other words, it was the most recent information about a brigade member to come to light.
“That’s good. That will make this easier to explain.” Koizumi gave an affectedly relieved sigh, then lowered his voice. “To be honest, I haven’t been sleeping well recently. I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night or early morning, day after day, and not because I want to. It’s taken quite a toll on my health.”
Throughout the rest of their conversation at the beginning of this book, Itsuki is constantly asking Kyon if his memory is faulty or if he had somehow forgotten recent events that lead up to their current situation. At the end of that lengthy conversation, we get another critical exchange that would be more beneficial not to paraphrase as well:
“So, you’ve finally managed to arrive at that point. I was starting to wonder if it had been erased from your memory.”
What good would it do anyone if I’d lost that memory? I asked.
“I can’t guess at the possible profit or loss, but if I could erase it, I would very much like to.”
That didn’t make any sense. I’d never heard anything about Koizumi being able to control memories, and anyway, if he could, then he ought to be doing something about Haruhi’s head.
“You are quite right.”
He didn’t have to sound so wistful about it, I said.
One thing that both of these exchanges make clear is that memory, and memory loss by extension is something significant to Itsuki. And throughout the series, he has become more and more adamant about making Kyon aware of that fact. What can be gathered from the information he is feeding us that there is someone, somewhere- most likely allied with the Agency- who has the power to alter people’s memories. Itsuki seems to be aware of said individuals and appears to fear the idea of having his memories altered by them. The fact that he is also asking Kyon if his memories are still intact is likely because Kyon seems to be the only person that Itsuki has mentioned his promise and loyalties to. If his memories are altered, it likely means they’re coming for Itsuki next. If Itsuki’s memories are altered, he seems to be hoping that Kyon will remind him of his true feelings and goals. 
As of right now, we have no idea who this individual is or if they even exist, but we can infer without a doubt that there is something going on involving Itsuki, his loyalties to the Agency, and his memories. The fact that his statements on the Agency contradict himself, the way he drops hints that go from subtle to incredibly obvious, the way his attitude subtly changes from being overly polite and accommodating to becoming more serious and practically demanding Kyon confirm that his memories of Itsuki are still intact for several books. Tanigawa is not an author who gives the readers things at face value. A genre that repeatedly appears in the Haruhi Suzumiya light novels is mystery. In the newest release at this date, The Intuition of Haruhi Suzumiya, the characters read through a set of stories sent to them by their friend Tsuruya. Their goal is to figure out the secrets in hiding meanings behind them by reading deeply into the text, phrasing of words, and placement of dialogue. As the series is writing from a first-person perspective, it’s only natural to infer this as a hint to the readers to read deeper into the texts presented to them. And, the more you look, the more you can find. Regardless of whether or not this new book is meant to be a hint to prepare us for future novels or not, one thing is sure: something big is going to happen involving Itsuki Koizumi at some point in the series. With all this build-up and foreshadowing, it is almost guaranteed that something will happen or has happened to change his memories about his promise and/or his loyalties. We’ll just have to wait until the next installment to see.
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Born Into This | 02: The Middle Of Starting Over
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POV Paddy
“What do you know about what happened a week after your school started? I believe that was the week of the 8th of September. I’m particularly interested in yours and Ms. Barnes ‘study date’ on the 9th and your families’ reactions to you letting her into your home.”
“PATRICK! WHY THE HELL DID YOU INVITE A BARNES INTO OUR HOUSE!” My father yelled at me in his English classroom while Finn watched from the doorway.
“Because we need somewhere to work on the project you gave us. And anyway what does her last name have to do with anything?” I asked him.
“You’re still so naive. Her family is the one that destroyed our home in London. And I thought you could work on it at school or in a public space or at hers, not our home.”
“Why?” Finn asked from the corner of the room.
“So we could have a foothold in her house.”
“I can’t believe this. You promised me and mum that I wasn’t going to be like the other three. I wasn’t going to be a part of all this. I wasn’t meant to join until I was old enough to choose. Everyone agreed at least one of us was meant to have a normal life. I was meant to be normal,” I yelled at my father as Finn locked the class’ door, making sure no one got in to hear this conversation.
“No one in this family is normal Patrick least of all you. You are going to play an important part in the future of this family. You’re going to be the one to put us back on top and not be the minions of some second rate psychopath.”
“Well, this is all well and good but your next class starts in a few minutes and people are wanting to come in,” Finn said from his spot by the door.
“Of course. We’ll discuss this at home Paddy.”
“Actually, we won’t TJ’s coming over so we can do our project. You know the one you assigned us,” I said as we walked out of the door toward our next class.
“A little cold don’t you think,” Finn said as we moved over to our lockers.
“Maybe but it worked didn’t it.”
“Maybe but I have a feeling your study date’s not going to go as you have planned.”
“Maybe not but nothing ever does in that house.”
“You ready?” I asked TJ as I walked up behind her.
“Yup. I just need to grab something from Millie then I’m all good to go,” She said as she quickly shut her locker when she noticed me.
“What are you hiding in your locker?” I asked her.
“I’m hiding books, art supplies and a very embarrassing letter from my twin brother before he… Nevermind,” she said waving to Millie and Sofia behind me.
“Um erro para você,” Sofia said to TJ handing her a bag.
“Now I’m ready to go,” She said smiling at me.
We walked out of the school in silence, getting into my brother’s car. I started talking to Sam while TJ read her book on the car ride to our house out of the city. By the time we pulled into the long driveway, Sam had built up enough courage to talk to TJ.
“I hear you have a twin brother,” He had said to her.
“I had a twin brother. Had being the keyword in that sentence. It was one of the reasons I made the move here with my aunts,” TJ responded with a sad smirk.
“Can I ask what happened to him? I may not know what it’s like without my twin and I can’t imagine what it must be like but sometimes I wish I did,” He told her, looking her in the eye through the rearview mirror.
“He isn’t with us anymore. I’m not convinced he’s truly dead. It feels as though there should be a bigger gap in my heart if he truly was. But it just feels like it did when we were kids and we would go to different schools every day, except we’re further away from each other this time,” She said with a wistful look on her face as if she was trying to figure some big game of chess out, “Sometimes I wish that I could know if he was dead or not, just so I could either find him or his ghost and kill him with my own hands.”
“Well, feel free to do that to Harry anytime you want. I’ll help you make it look like an accident. I have the same emotions toward him as you do your twin.”
“I might take you up on that offer, Sam. But for now, Luisa May Alcott and her Little Women are calling my name and I need a good grade on this if I don’t want to be murdered by my aunt Hayley,” She said smiling at him as we got out of the car.
“Have fun you two and remember, Paddy, keep a door open!” Sam yelled at us as we walked into the house, while he waited for Harry so they could do something I don’t even want to think about.
“Sorry about him and my entire family and friends that live in this house,” I told her as we walked up the stairs to the front door.
“It’s OK. I’m sure my family is 1000% weirder than yours.”
“Really?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Ok. My brothers once decided it would be a good idea to throw toilet paper at my head for an Instagram video,” I told her starting with one of the less weird stories I have from my family.
“My aunts have a metal reinforced bomb shelter that could survive any bomb I’m aware of, in our apartment that they have told me on numerous occasions it’s not used for sex stuff.”
“OK, I’m thinking through all of my stories and none of them match that.”
POV Hayley
“What do you know about what happened the week of the 8th of September?”
“The only thing that I can’t remember that would be at all relevant.”
“Has it disappeared from your memory?”
“It appears it has slipped my mind.”
“So you have a date,” I teased TJ at dinner.
“It’s not a date, it’s a study session for an English project I could do by myself blindfolded in your warehouse. It’s on Little Women, all I really would have to do is ask Emma or Flo and I could get all the answers I would ever need. Or I could just do it myself but it’s a group project,” TJ told me stabbing my salad on my plate.
“It sounds like you have a date,” Lizzie told her.
“And you stole my salad.”
“It’s not a date,” She laughed/defended herself. “And I did.”
“If you say so,” I told her changing the topic, “So how would you feel about helping me on Sebastian’s case? You can annoy the hell out of him till he takes the plea bargain. Or you could trick him into a confession.”
“Aren’t you meant to be proving his innocence?” Lizz asked me.
“Yes, but no jury is going to let him get away with it in today’s society.”
“He was arrested for public intoxication, that’s a slap on the wrist especially with his family,” TJ told me what I already knew.
“He was arrested for public intoxication, attempting to purchase sex, and pimping out college girls. He can get away with public intoxication, maybe depending on his labwork but with his track record and all of this shit he’ll see some prison time. I hope. I feel so sorry for those poor girls he was pimping out,” I told her eating my own dinner.
“How is it that I’m the one who sees this as an uncomfortable dinner time talk? I’m the one that partakes in murder and torture for a living,” Lizzie spoke up refilling her wine glass.
“Maybe because you partake in mob activity and pimps tend to be mob members in this city?” TJ spoke.
“We don’t do that. Like we no longer deal drugs we help them out instead, providing employment and educational opportunities for those who would have no other option but to turn to people like Sebastian and Chris. We don’t play in that game. We try and empower women,” Lizzie said voice rising in anger.
“I’m sorry Liz, I just don’t know that much about all this,” TJ told her.
“So, should we play a game?” I asked trying to ease the tension.
“Sure,” They said in unison.
“How about two rounds of Never Have I Ever?” I asked.
“I’ll win so sure,” TJ said with a smirk.
“If you have you have to take a shot of hot sauce or vodka. I’ll start,” Lizzie said, “Never Have I Ever, worked for the law.”
“Screw you, Elizabeth!” I said as TJ tried to find the hot sauce on the table as I got the shot glasses and took a shot of vodka.
“I had one internship,” TJ said taking her hot sauce shot with pride, “My go, never have I ever shot a man.”
“Not myself, well not with a gun,” Lizzie said as we turned to look at her before she asked, “Do crossbows count?”
“Yes and I want to hear that story,” TJ told her as we both downed Vodka shots.
“Never have I ever had a crush on another member of a mob,” I say handing TJ the hot sauce.
“I haven’t Hayley, I haven’t had a yet crush,” She told me.
We finished our game and turned in for the night all of us doing our own individual tasks. That was until Lizzie came and saw me about TJ.
“I’m worried about her, it’s nearly the one-year anniversary of Robin’s death. I think we should do something about it. Either take her somewhere in memory of him or try to distract her from it,” Lizzie said standing in my doorway.
“Remember at the funeral she said she cherished the memory of going to McDonald’s in time square with him when they were 8 and first came to New York, maybe we could go there with some of her friends,” I told her looking at her through my mirror.
“Who should we invite?” Lizzie asked, “I mean obviously Sofia and Millie, maybe Mia, Emily and Lily?”
“What about her new friend from school? The one she has a school project with?” I suggested.
“Maybe, I’ll have Mr. T look into him, just to make sure there’s nothing too bad hiding in his closet. You can never be too sure with these things,” Liz said, “Maybe you should rethink your stance on Stan.”
“Maybe, you should reconsider Chris’s offer,” I told her.
“OK, so can we agree no more boy talk, lyubit',” Lizzie said to me moving toward me and away from the door.
“What do you want to talk about?” I asked her.
“I’d prefer to not talk and maybe do something else instead,” She smirked.
“Can you two please shut your door! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY OF THIS!” TJ shouted from her room.
“OK!” I shouted getting up to shut the door.
“Can I ask what happened next Ms. Atwell? Or has it disappeared from your memory as well?”
“What happened next is strictly between me and Ms. Olsen, God rest her soul and may it not burn in hell with those monsters that did this to her. But I’m sure you can assume what happened next.”
“I’d like to hear the words come from your mouth.”
“You sound like her, but instead of words she preferred to hear something else from me.”
“That’ll be all for know please Ms. Atwell,” The judge told me.
“But he wanted to know what happened next your honour and that requires a bit of foul language that may make you a bit uncomfortable.”
POV Chris
“What do you know about what happened the week of the 8th of September?”
“Not much admittedly, I was on a bit of a bender. You see I was just dumped by my betrothed thingy that Robert set up years ago to keep the peace when the Holland’s moved to New York. Meant to be a part of a peace treaty me and some other unfortunate soul were meant to marry into the Barnes’ as a show of peace.”
“Did this end with the events that unfolded?”
“No, it didn’t. Enough members survived for a need for the treaty.”
“Except they replaced me with Sebastian.”
“Just tell us your story.”
“Hit me again,” Sebastian told me as we played cards.
“We’re playing go fish Seb,” I told him.
“I know, I meant another beer,” He said.
“Sorry.”
“You seem distracted. What did Robert say?”
“The reason I’m Elizabeth’s liaison is I’m meant to marry her and one of the brothers is meant to marry Jean’s granddaughter. And from the age range, I was given of her it sounds likely that Paddy will be drawn into this life after all. And I’m meant to tell Nikki but she terrifies me.”
“She is a scary woman when it comes to protecting her children, especially Paddy.”
“She thought she could save his soul but very clearly she was wrong. I knew Dominic and Robert were up to no good in all of their meetings.”
“It gets worse. Robert killed the girl’s twin brother with his own hands. She was told he died of cancer which he did have but it didn’t kill him.”
“Robert killed a child with cancer because he thought he was a threat, that’s just cold even for him.”
“What was cold of me?” Robert asked coming into the kitchen taking one of the beers from the fridge to hand to Sebastian and another one for himself.
“We were talking about your plans for me and the Barnes girl.”
“She’s coming over tomorrow, it’s a bit of a study date. Hopefully, they don’t kill each other that would put a damper on my plans,” Robert said to us sitting on one of the stools at the bar.
“Why do your plans involve the love lives of two teenagers, isn’t that a bit weird even for you?” Sebastian asked him.
“Maybe but not here I get to say what’s weird and what’s not. Maybe you’d know the feeling if you stayed in Romania a little longer than you did.”
“OK, that’s enough Robert. It’s too much even for you.”
“You seem to have forgotten your place here Evans. As soon as you are in charge you can change how things are but until then I make the rules and Dominic made that deal to save what was left of his family and their business,” Robert spat at me.
Right, the destruction of the Holland Mafia, the event that lead to Robert becoming one of the most powerful men in the world. The events that took place in 2004. London was in term oil there were fights on the streets between the Holland and the Barnes Families until August when Dominic was losing he decided that instead of lose the little bit of power and control he had left he was going to strike a deal with the Barnes Mafia in an attempt to save his own life and the life of his boys. Though through my conversations with Elizabeth I doubt that anything would have happened to the boys other than they’d have been taken into the family fold and been brought up outside of the mob. He used that power to make a deal his yet to be born child would eventually marry the youngest Barnes. He didn’t tell his wife or his boys. He then used this deal to bargain for his escape to New York where the last few of his men joined with Robert’s giving him more power in exchange for protection.
“Fine but that doesn’t make it OK for this to be happening. Any of this,” I said.
“Maybe but what we do isn’t moral it’s a business based of people doing immoral things and if you can’t handle that I can and will arrange for your early retirement.”
“No thank you, Robert,” I said through gritted teeth while he left the room.
“We should tell the kid. Or Nikki maybe that could be a way around this whole thing,” Seb said once we checked that Robert was out of earshot.
“I’m pretty sure that we should tell the kids and Nikki at the same time, you never know maybe the girl will have the guts to kill Robert or at least hurt him,” I told him.
“If only she would. It would make life much easier for us,” He said looking around, “Now tell me about this Elizabeth character does she seem nice or like she’ll shoot you next time you enter her office?”
“Both if that’s possible. She seems like if I say one wrong thing or make one wrong move I’m going to end up in the Hudson. But I saw her with her I want to say niece the other day in central park and she seemed so calm and sweet.”
“She has a niece?”
“I looked into it and not really the kid refers to Elizabeth as aunt and lives with her but she’s Jean’s granddaughter.”
“So not her sisters’ kid?”
“No, they seem to have disappeared off the grid. They haven’t been spotted in 5 years apparently.”
“How have they managed that in today’s tech-driven world? And how did you get all this beer? Robert doesn’t own the beer trade in New York.”
“I honestly have no clue. And Elizabeth gave it to me as a peace offering for the first day on the job as her liaison, apparently, they’re the ones that managed to get almost all of the alcohol trade in NYC. Tip-off before t-total America.”
 POV TJ
“What do you know about what happened the week of the 8th of September?”
“That was an interesting week for sure, we got contacted by two ghosts, I had a study session with Paddy and I nearly shot Tom Holland.”
“You shot a gun?”
“Oh god no I despise the things, I nearly shot him with a bow that I had in my possession for PE class. It wasn’t nearly as bad as it sounds. Yes, I actually hit him but it was his hair that got hurt and his ego but that could take a beating and still be too large.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. That thing was way too big just because Robert thought he should be his next in line.”
“So have you actually read Little Women?” I asked Paddy as I sat on his bedroom floor.
“First, you know you can sit on a chair. Secondly, I am almost done with it,” He said pointing to the chair opposite to him.
“Yes I know I can but I don’t want to. So I’m going to sit here on the floor and start working on the project while you finish reading it,” I told him opening my computer to start working through the list of tasks Paddy’s father had set out for us.
“Cool.”
After about an hour of working in silence, there was a knock on the door, followed by a woman pocking her head through the door.
“Hey, Pads do you and your friend want a snack?” The ginger-haired woman asked.
“Yes?” He said more as a question to me.
“Sure,” I said to her smiling.
“Thanks, Mum,” Paddy said as I turned back to my computer before I heard his voice go from that of a normal teenage boy to one that grew up in a family of mobsters, “What the hell do you want Chris?”
“I wanted to tell you two and your mother something I found out from your father and Robert. Well, actually from Elizabeth but it has to do with Dominic and Robert,” Chris said as I turned towards him.
“Why didn’t aunt Lizzie tell me if she wanted me to know, Christopher?” I spoke.
“Aunt Lizzie?” Paddy asked.
“Probably for your own protection but I don’t care about that. As long as you don’t die I can get away with anything to do with you,” Chris told me looking directly into my eyes.
“You underestimate my aunt, she’ll kill you if you get to close. She’s a sweetheart though,” I told him.
“Hey – Chris,” Paddy’s mum said voice changing instantly.
“Nicola. I have some news for all three of you.”
“Where does you shooting Tom come into this?”
“I’m about to get there.”
“Go ahead.”
After hearing the new Chris had to say Nicola went after her husband and I went in search of Robert Downey Jr. to kill followed by a puppy-like Paddy. I happened to have a bow and some arrows with me from PE which I took with me on this search. I did come across Robert with some of his close associates, mainly Paddy’s oldest brother, Tom.
“What the fucking hell Robert! When you said our families made peace all those years ago I didn’t think it meant with a freaking arranged marriage! That is the cruellest thing you have ever done and I am counting murdering my twin brother because you saw him and me as threats to your family! Well, Downey I’m here to tell you, you’ve just started a war you can’t win because even if you survive, all this won’t, neither will your legacy. Because the truth will come out whether or not you admit it is the truth. See you in hell asshole,” I stated drawing back the string on the bow and aimed at the table and Tom’s hair, meeting my targets before swirling around and walking toward Hayley’s car in the driveway leaving Paddy standing there staring at his brothers.
I overheard him say, “I should go back and finish my homework.”
“I got your bags from Chris. You need to get out of that English class and maybe that school,” Hayley said as I sat in her car and she took off.
“Or you need Jesus, maybe come to church once in a while kid,” Lizzie said through the phone.
“Or maybe I need someone to tell me the fucking truth from all of you,” I said grabbing my headphones and putting my on and staring out the window. Mr. T is the facts person in the mob if you need to find out anything you go to him and he’ll have the answer 24 hours later. He was the one that lead the charge against the Holland’s all those years ago.
When we arrived back home I stormed into the building getting into the elevator, “I’m going to see Mr. T he’s got more answers than either of you. Including one that I asked him to dig up yesterday.”
“Be home soon. It’s no longer safe for you in this city. You’re coming to church on Sunday. It proves your not actually going to hurt Robert at least not yet,” Hayley said.
“OK Hales,” I told her getting out of the Lift on the floor below Hayley.
“Hey, I heard you were coming over. And I got your answers,” Mr. T said as I knocked on the door.
“And apparently a tiger,” I said as I stepped into the apartment.
“Looking after it for a friend. But in answer to your first question. It’s true you’re suspicions were correct. Sadly for your brother and your mother,” He said.
“Sadder for his wife and my genetics. Now, what can you tell me about how to take down the Downey Mafia. I need to destroy them,” I said with what I hoped was the stone-cold look of a killer.
“Happily,” He responded, handing me a drink from his fridge.
 POV Sebastian
“What do you know about what happened the week of the 8th of September?”
“Nothing that I’d tell you.”
“Please enlighten us, Mr. Stan, it’ll make this a lot easier for you down the road.”
“Maybe but it’s between me and the people involved not you and the internet. So I’d rather stay silent on the matter.”
“So she tried to shoot you?” I asked Tom.
“No, I think she just missed Robert.”
“Trust me if she wanted to hit you she would’ve. I’ve seen her trophies in Elizabeth’s office. She was just trying to scare you all,” Chris spoke up.
“Well, I hope next time she doesn’t aim to kill because I’d rather go out with a bullet than an arrow,” Tom said grabbing a beer.
“Well, then don’t piss off TJ or her family they tend to do things the old fashioned way,” Chris smiled into his beer.
“That’s interesting. How exactly did you know that?” I asked him.
“I have my ways, Stan. Now Holland what are you going to do about your brother?” Chris asked.
“That comes down to my parents. And I’m on standby in case mum needs a body disposed of.”
“Well, good luck with all that. We have bigger issues,” I said looking at the fridge.
“What? Out of beer?” Tom asked.
“Not quite but the only way we can get more is to ask Elizabeth or go through her and help aid her.”
“Well, before we inevitably go to war with the Barnes family, who are objectively older, wiser and more powerful, let’s get shitfaced and ruin our aim tomorrow!” I said.
“Cheers! Here’s to getting shitfaced by illegal means!” Tom said.
“Dude. Just speak normally.”
“Can I ask if you figured out how they figured out the outlawing of alcohol?”
“Probably, Hayley Atwell, she’s a lawyer at one police plaza and worked in Washington for a bit,” Paddy said grabbing Tom’s beer.
“Rough night?”
“Really your asking that after everything that’s happened today?”
“Fair enough, kid. Why don’t you join us?”
“You let a minor get drunk?”
“After everything you’ve heard today about these events that’s your question? If I let a minor get drunk? Of course, I let a minor get drunk! He just found out he’s betrothed to someone he has a school project with and he just met! Who may or may not be related to the people that killed his family members. And you ask if I let him have a beer?”
“Yes, Mr. Stan that is what I’m asking.”
“Well then. The answer is yes and I’m aware it’s illegal in two forms but I did it anyway.”
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delicioussshame · 4 years
Text
Last part of the modern AU. Still crack.
Yuan don’t delete this message is the subject of the very suspicious email Shen Yuan just got from what looks like one of those email addresses that are good for five minutes.
Since he’s pretty sure who that’s from, he clicks on it with trepidation.
Inside it are two tickets to Málaga Airport and the following message: You’re coming to my wedding.
Shen Yuan stares at the message for five minutes.
Of course Shen Jiu eloped. Of fucking course he did. Shen Yuan can see it in his mind. Shen Jiu telling their parents he’s getting married. Their mother eagerly asking which heiress caught his eyes. Shen Jiu picking someone unsuitable. Fake tears from his mother, disapproval barely hidden under a thin cover of concern from his father. Shen Jiu having no patience for their antics.
A wedding without them somewhere in the south of Spain.
…At least he got two tickets. “Binghe, we’re going to a wedding.”
_____________
It’s the closest to a fight they ever had.
Luo Binghe outright refuses to let him go. He says it’s too dangerous.
Shen Yuan reminds him that there would be way simpler ways to kill him than invite not only Shen Yuan himself but also Binghe, by the way, to a wedding. Weddings, Binghe! Shen Yuan is sure that Luo Binghe is the kind of sap that cries at weddings.
Luo Binghe tells him he’ll warn his parents, who, after all, are the ones who hired him.
“If you stop me from going, I won’t forgive you.” There. See if a softie like Luo Binghe can resist that.
To top it all, he fixes his expression into his blandest mask.
Luo Binghe tears up.
Shen Yuan refuses to flinch. He’s going to his brother’s wedding. If anything, he needs to know what kind of pretty lady managed to bind Shen Jiu in matrimony. He never thought his brother would give up the family business for love of all things, which it must be. Shen Yuan cannot think of anything less worth giving up his future.
Luo Binghe wouldn’t fall for that reasoning, so… “Shen Jiu is my only brother. He invited me to his wedding. I cannot not be there. If you don’t want to go, I’ll go by myself. Someone from the family should be there.”
Luo Binghe wipes his teary eyes. “A-Yuan really needs to be there?”
Shen Yuan nods.
“To the point of risking his life for it?”
Inwardly, he sighs. He’s not risking his life!
Outwardly, he nods again.
“…Fine. But A-Yuan must stay by my side at all times.”
“…You can’t bring a gun on the plane.”
“I’ll get one once we’re there. I know someone.”
...Shen Jiu better not try to kill him. Can’t hold a wedding if the husband is dead.  
_____________
Who the fuck are all these people staring at him with disgust? What’s their problem? Are they just jealous their dates aren’t as hot as his?
What? They’re not.
Not that most of these people aren’t ridiculously attractive. Shen Yuan is starting to get self-conscious. Did Shen Jiu pick his bride from a model agency and these are all her friends?
“You’re Shen Jiu’s brother?”
Shen Yuan turns towards the pissed off looking lady. “Yes. You are?”
“Tell me what’s good about him.”
Shen Yuan blinks. “Why should I?” So rude. She didn’t even introduce herself.
She snorts. “Because I asked.”
“Don’t talk to my boyfriend that way.”
Well, that’s that. Luo Binghe now looks as pissed off as she does.
Great.
“This one too? Seriously, there must be something of worth to your lineage. You can’t just be good in bed, which is my only guess. I’m not going to find that out myself.”
Shen Yuan chokes.
Luo Binghe has his hand where his gun rests under his clothes.
“What I don’t understand is why I agreed to let you come to my wedding.”
“Please, I wouldn’t be here if it was just your wedding.”
Shen Yuan hasn’t seen Shen Jiu in months, but he looks well. That’s nice.
He also shouldn’t be at this pre-wedding reception. “What are you doing here!? Shouldn’t you be preparing for the ceremony?”
“Yes, but I need my best man, so shut up and come with me.”
“What, really?” It is possible Shen Yuan is touched. He never thought Shen Jiu would trust him with anything of value, ever.
“Yes. Come.”
“Don’t kill him!” That comment is intended for Luo Binghe, who is just thrilled at the way Shen Jiu is pulling at Shen Yuan, he can tell.
In the background, he can hear the woman mutters. “Oh, don’t stop yourself on my account.”
_____________
“Wait here, I need to talk to my brother. Who is not going to kill me. Tell him you’re not going to kill me.”
“If I wanted Yuan killed, he would be dead and there would be nothing you could do about it.”
“Brother! Binghe, wait here, okay? I’ll be back.”
Luo Binghe glares, knuckles turning white from his too tight hold on his gun. “You’d better, or your brother’s fiancée will never get to become his wife.”
Shen Jiu slams the door close in his face.
Great. Shen Jiu and Luo Binghe have talked to each other for less than a minute total and they already hate each other’s guts.
Not that that’s not a normal reaction around Shen Jiu. “How did you even manage to get someone to marry you if you always act like this? Who is she anyway?”
“Says you. What would our parents say if they knew you were dating your bodyguard?”
For a second, Shen Yuan really wishes he was a good enough liar to fool his brother. “Nothing. We’re not dating.”
“Please. Do you think I’m stupid?”
“It’s true!”
Shen Jiu stares at him. “It’s a cover story?”
“…Something like that.”
He keeps staring. “Something like that.”
Shen Yuan missed Shen Jiu’s unbelieving disapproval not at all. “Yes, something like that.”
“So are you pining by yourself or are you two fucking?”
Shen Yuan chokes.
“So both. Well done.”
Shen Yuan stares at the door longingly. “Don’t you have to put your clothes on, get your hair styled or something, anything? Because I cannot think of a single reason why I fought with Binghe to come here anymore, and I still have no idea how you got someone to stand you long enough to even begin to consider getting married to you.”
“You’re the one that needs help aesthetically. Don’t worry, I got you something decent for you to wear.”
Shen Yuan sighs. What he’s wearing could easily feed a family of four for weeks, but whatever. Shen Jiu’s standards have always been something else.
“Fine. Do your worst.”
He already knows he’s going to regret it.
_____________
Shen Yuan now gets the uncomprehending stares. He’s known Yue Qingyuan for all of a few hours, and he already knows he’s too nice for his brother. What the fuck happened there? Which of them catfished the other? Did Yue Qingyuan pass himself off as a beautiful woman in an attempt at getting the family fortune, and Shen Jiu was so impressed by his daring he fell in love with him?
…He could see that happening.
Not that he’s gonna ask. Shen Jiu wouldn’t tell him anyway.
Oh well, it was a nice wedding, regardless of the identity of the happy couple.
“Your brother and his husband don’t seem well matched.”
“I know, right? I don’t get it, but whatever, if he’s happy, who cares. I sure hope he’ll be, to get disowned for it.”
Luo Binghe freezes in the middle of removing his shirt for bed. “Disowned?”
Shen Yuan shrugs. “It might not last. My parents will probably get over it at some point. It’s not like they ever thought frail Shen Yuan would inherit. They’ve been grooming Shen Jiu for it all his life. Once they get used to the idea, they’ll rethink their current stance.” He hopes. Maybe if Shen Jiu procreates. Shen Yuan is pretty sure grandchildren could overcome his parents’ disappointment.
“…Would you get disowned if you married someone your family didn’t approve of?”                      
“Probably, not that it matters. I’m not getting married anytime soon.”
“…Why not?”
He shrugs. “Who would marry me? The women who come looking only want my family’s status and fortune. Now that Shen Jiu is completely out of the picture, I suppose it’ll get worse. I’m fine with my current situation, thanks.”
“…I would marry you.”
Shen Yuan ignores the way his pulse race. Instead, he pats Luo Binghe’s head. “Thank you, but Luo Binghe should marry someone he really loves, not saddle himself with me. He can do better.”
Luo Binghe, for some reason, looks outraged.
What? Did he say something wrong?
“What’s that nonsense? How could I possibly do better than A-Yuan?”
Shen Yuan blinks at him. “Huh, you could just look around yourself? Everyone that was here tonight is better looking than me? They’re not better looking than you, obviously, but still, they’d be a better fit with you.”
“Is A-Yuan blind? Everyone would agree he was the most beautiful person here.”
Shen Yuan knows for a fact that’s a lie. Like Shen Jiu would have allowed for that. “Did you drink? Did someone drug you? Oh god are you okay, how many fingers?”
“I’m fine. I’ve been careful. Four fingers.”
Shen Yuan is sure that Luo Binghe’s definition of being careful was closer to paranoia than anything else. Still. “Are you sure you don’t want to go see a doctor? I’m sure Shen Jiu can find us someone if you need to.”
“The only treatment I need is A-Yuan by my side. Forever would be good.”
Luo Binghe can be so sappy.
Shen Yuan doesn’t need that kind of service. “Seriously, this is nice, don’t get me wrong, but Binghe really does deserve better. He should look for someone to build a family with.”
Maybe Luo Binghe really did ingest something bad. He doesn’t seem well.
“A-Yuan, I don’t understand. I don’t want anyone but you. Why would I? By your side is where I’m happiest.”
Luo Binghe can’t be this foolish? “You know that’s not true. You should pick someone that, I don’t know, I’m not the person for this, all I have as reference are terrible novels, but someone whose smile makes you happy? Someone whose face you’d want to wake up to? Someone you share interests with? Someone you can see yourself grow old with? Not someone who can buy you nice things and that’s it.”
Now he’s really hoping Luo Binghe is drunk out of his ass. That way he won’t remember Shen Yuan lecturing him on what should be obvious.
“…A-Yuan cannot possibly think his only worth is his wealth?”
“Well, no.” Shen Yuan isn’t ugly? He’s just not anywhere near as hot as Luo Binghe. He’s smart? He knows things? He’s available? He’s… other nice things he can’t think of right now. He has qualities!
Just not any he can think of that would make Luo Binghe… love… him. “You could still do better. Binghe has so much going for him! He’s charming, kind, a good cook, intelligent, trained to keep someone safe, outgoing, good in bed, charismatic, fit, patient, I could go on! He should get a nice wife to pamper him.”
Luo Binghe’s smile is stunning. “I have no interest in being pampered by some woman. I’d much prefer to keep pampering A-Yuan, and being pampered by him.”
“That’s just because it’s convenient! We already live together, so maintaining a love life with someone else would be hard for you. Once you’re done with this job, you’ll find me a much less attractive prospect.”
“I don’t want this job to end. No, that’s not it. I don’t mind not being paid to stay with A-Yuan. If I need to, I’ll get a more regular job as a local security consultant or something similar. But I’m not taking another full-time client. I want to stay close to you.”
“But that’s…” Dumb? Ridiculous? A bad life choice? “probably not a good idea. Don’t throw your future away for me.”
“Shen Yuan is my future.”
Well.
That’s… clear.
Huh.
“Wait, when you were saying you loved me, were you being serious?”
“A-Yuan! What else could I have been!”
Shit.
“Is A-Yuan not just shy? He doesn’t care about me?”
Oh no. Oh no please don’t start crying now when Shen Yuan can barely get two neurons to work together. “No that’s not it, I care, I just didn’t think Binghe did.”
Well that sounds terrible. “Forget that, that’s not it either, I thought Binghe would finish his job and move on to his next client and that would be it. A nice memory, but nothing more.”
Aannd Binghe is crying. Damn fucking it.
Fuck Shen Jiu and his damned wedding. He hopes his wedding night is terrible. “Binghe, don’t cry, I’m right here, aren’t I? Sorry I’m an idiot, I don’t have much romantic experience. See, that’s why I thought you would go looking elsewhere.”
“I don’t want to.”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” Shen Yuan is patting Luo Binghe’s back and wishing he had the capacity to manage this. “Let’s have a honeymoon too.”
Luo Binghe pushes back to look at him. “What?”
“Let’s go on a trip somewhere nice, just the two of us, somewhere where no one cares who we are. We’ll figure it all out after, okay? Where would you like to go? I think Shen Jiu is going to Bora Bora, but then again I wasn’t really listening so maybe it was somewhere else. Is there something you want to visit?”
Luo Binghe wipes his eyes. “I’ll think about it.”
“Good. Take your time. We’ll have lots of it, okay?”
“…Okay.”
Who ever thought Shen Yuan of all people had the ability to soothe distressed people? Dealing with his own issues is more than enough, thanks.
He keeps patting Luo Binghe’s back uselessly, keeping track of his irregular breathing until it’s smooth against. “Better?”
“...Yes.”
“Good.”
“…I didn’t know A-Yuan could be this oblivious.”
“That would make two of us.”
Luo Binghe laughs. Such a nice sound. “See? A-Yuan is funny, kind, mindful. I’m lucky to have him.”
Not anywhere near as much as Shen Yuan is. “See that you remember that tomorrow morning when you feel better and realise the consequences of your choices.”
Luo Binghe snorts. “Shen Yuan is the one that needs to remember what he promised. We’re going on vacation. And we’re going to talk. A lot.”
…Shit.
Well, he signed up for it. “I’ll call my travel agent.”
…He still thinks it’ll be a better trip than Shen Jiu’s.
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collecting-stories · 3 years
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I’m Pine-ing for You
A/N: The second chapter of my Christmas fic.
Christmas Mingle Masterlist
_* ◦ ❅ . ❄︎ * ∙ ◦ . _
Ariana Grande crooned over the tinny radio in the gift shop as Audrey browsed, trying to maximize her day off and finish the last of her Christmas shopping. It was futile, she knew that much, but she had bundled up for the cold weather and headed out to walk around Main Street, hoping some kind of good would come from searching. Even if all it yielded was a new candle for her apartment. Most of her family was generic enough to settle for giftcards from Target but she still went out, as if she would find something that anyone would appreciate more than the basic $25 card. 
Just like every year though, she was browsing more for herself than anyone else, halfway through the display of handmade ceramic mugs, when she heard Jeff's familiar timbre. She'd only gone on one date with him so far but it didn't matter, she could probably pick out his voice in a line up. It was deep and not to raspy and she could've listened to him talk forever. But now that she thought about it, she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to "run into" him here. And when she looked over toward the door she realized he was with his son. She hadn't seen any pictures of Charlie but if that tall-for-his-age kid beside Jeff wasn't his son she'd be shocked. 
Audrey was in the back of the store, not poised to sneak out without having to walk right passed him. If there was one thing she truly hated it was running into people, something that happened a lot more frequently in her life now that she worked retail. There was nothing that compared to being trapped by an old school acquaintance as she rang up their groceries. She thought about turning and heading further into the store but there was no pretending that she hadn't seen Jeff, especially as her hand paused mid-grabbing a mug off the shelf, when he called her name. 
"Christmas shopping?" Jeff asked, stepping up beside her in the narrow aisle of the shop. 
"Well," Audrey looked over at him, "I tell myself that but honestly, I'm just shopping for me." 
"Nothing wrong with that," he replied and Audrey cracked a smile.
"You're very agreeable, you know that?" She pointed out. He'd been the same on their date, agreeable on all fronts. About her divorce, her disinterest in her current job, her lack of enthusiasm for the Christmas season. 
"Maybe we just agree on things?" He suggested. 
"Well then, I know who to call for a second opinion." Audrey replied, glancing over to the small section of kids toys, Jeff's spitting image crouched on the ground looking over a puzzle, "Is that Charlie?" She didn't know if day-after-the-first-date was too soon to meet his son but it wasn't like he was formally introducing them so she didn't feel too bad about asking. 
"Yeah that's Charlie," Jeff nodded, looking over, "kiddo's supposed to be helping me shop for other people's presents but it looks like he's picking out a few things to add to his list."
"Kid after my own heart," Audrey teased. "I'm not sure I could be of any actual help, Charlie and I seem to share a shopping gene, but I could lend a hand picking out some things if you want?" She wasn't sure that inviting herself to spend the afternoon with him was really an appropriate, normal thing to do, but she couldn't help herself. The words had come tumbling out of her mouth faster than she could think them. Something about Jeff just seemed to make the temptation of spending her day off completely by herself pale in comparison to spending the day with him. She couldn't remember a time when she felt this way about someone, even with Chris, even in the beginning when everything was new and supposedly exciting, she sought out moments when she could be alone. 
"Alright, but I have two stipulations," Jeff replied, picking up one of the mugs to look it over, pushing his glasses up his nose. "I take the credit for all the gifts, and you provide the coffee."
"I provide the coffee? How is that fair? What are you providing?" Audrey said.
"The company." He shrugged as if it was totally obvious, Audrey laughing out loud, turning more toward him when the shopkeeper looked over at the sudden sound of them disturbing the ambiance of the store. 
"It's a deal." She kept her voice down as she moved further down the aisle, pointing out a sun-catcher that was hanging on display. "Anyone?"
"Not even close." He replied. "I'm gonna rethink this deal if you can't hold up your end of the bargain." 
"To be fair, you haven't given me any information to go on." Audrey pointed out, still holding onto the sun-catcher, contemplating a place for it in her own apartment. 
Before Jeff could say anything else Charlie had found him, clutching a puzzle box to his chest he came over, stepping in front of his dad to show off his find. "Look, it's 1000 pieces...I've never done 1000 pieces before." 
Audrey smiled, mouthing '1000 pieces' when Jeff caught her eye passed his son. He grinned and nodded, giving in to Charlie's request. 
"Alright, we'll put it aside for break." He offered, taking the box from Charlie, "but you're supposed to be looking for something for something for your grandma."
"I am!" Charlie insisted.
"In the toy area?" 
When Audrey snickered at Jeff's comment Charlie turned to look at her, a wide smile on his face at the sight of the stranger. "Hi." 
"Hey." She greeted, smiling at the young boy. 
"I'm Charlie," He introduced himself, holding his hand out to shake hers. 
Audrey took the seven year old's hand, shaking as she introduced herself, "Audrey." 
Never one to miss anything, Charlie had noticed the look that his dad had given Audrey immediately, even as he was talking about the puzzle that he wanted. 
"How do you know my dad?" He asked blatantly.
"I, uh..."
"Audrey's a friend of mine," Jeff supplied, putting his hand on his son's shoulder to get his attention. 
Charlie leaned his head back, looking up at Jeff and giving him a toothy grin. "Can she shop with us?" He asked. 
"Well, don't ask me." Jeff replied. 
"Can you shop with us?" Charlie asked, looking back at Audrey, "I need help picking a gift for my nana."
"I would love to help you."
Charlie stepped away from his dad, grabbing Audrey's hand to lead her away from Jeff and toward the back of the store. Audrey glanced back over her shoulder at Jeff, biting her lip as she smiled at him. Charlie was a well adjusted kid for his age, comfortable talking to adults happy to spend time hanging out with Jeff. He knew there were enough people in his son's life, family included, that pressured him about the way Charlie behaved. They wanted a kid that was less used to spending the majority of his week with his dad and they wanted Jeff to be more interested in dating and less interested in fathering his kid. 
His mom had been thrilled, the night before, to babysit her grandson when she heard that Jeff had a date. It had been since his late wife passed away that he had gone out and before then she was the only one he had dated in years. 
-
"It's just been so long," she had lamented, following her son into the kitchen, attempting a whisper as she spoke. "You deserve to be happy-"
"I am happy ma," Jeff promised, writing out any information she might need while he was gone. Phone numbers, the name of the restaurant he was going to, Charlie's pre-bed schedule. 
"Happy with someone in your life. Someone who can help you raise Charlie. I know you don't agree but, he needs a mother figure."
"Charlie doesn't need a 'mother figure' and it's one date ma, I'm not gonna marry this woman." 
"You don't know that." Jeff's mom replied, adamant on her stance about the date. She had been trying to convince Jeff to get back into dating for a few years now. She knew it was hard, losing his wife so quickly after Charlie was born, and she felt like she had waited an appropriate amount of time but, around two years ago, she had started dropping hints. Mentions here and there about women that she knew from church or even just 'eligible singles' that she saw at  the grocery store. She had very little in the way of requirements.
"Please just watch him for the night and don't read too much into this?" 
"Is it so wrong to be optimistic?" She asked, "it's been a long time since you've even considered dating." 
"I'll call you on my way home, I'll just be down the street at the brewhouse."
-
Audrey crouched down so she could get a better look at the bottom shelf of the display where Charlie was checking out a few different glass blown ornaments. She reached for one, a red teardrop shaped ornament that was crackled and, when she held it up to the light, glistened. 
"That's really pretty!" Charlie exclaimed, taking it from her when she handed it over to him. 
"I think so too," Audrey replied, "what do you think about it as a gift?"
"I don't know," he pouted, nose scrunching as he inspected the ornament in greater detail, "dad, would nana like this?" 
"Is there a pink one in there?" Jeff asked, looking over from the display of candles he'd been going through. He liked everything about Christmas aside from having to buy gifts for people. Charlie was easy, he always knew what his son wanted. It was everyone else that gave him a headache. "She'll probably love that."
Charlie dug through the box of ornaments, careful that nothing broke, successfully pulling out a pink one, "I found a pink one!"
Audrey took the red one back, turning it over in her hand once more before putting it back in the box. 
"You should get that one." Charlie pointed out, "you could put it on your tree."
"Oh gosh," Audrey laughed, "I actually don't have a tree." She confessed. 
Putting up a tree had been the least of her worries this year, not even a table top had made it's way into her house though she'd spent plenty of time on pinterest and instagram scrolling through the holiday decorations of influencers who's lives appeared much more together than her own. 
"No tree?" Charlie looked absolutely offended at the thought of anyone not having a tree for Christmas, "dad! Dad!" 
"Yeah bud?" Jeff asked, tearing his attention away from a case of handmade necklaces that he shouldn't have been looking through so  early on in knowing Audrey when it was clearly her  he had in mind. 
"Audrey doesn't have a tree," the disbelief, even as he repeated what he already knew, was on par with the discovery of Santa's fraudulence. "We can get you a tree?" He reasoned, turning back to look at her, wide, eager eyes. 
"I really don't have a lot of ornaments." Audrey admitted. 
The first time she had told Chris that she needed space they had both assumed that she would be back within the month. But then two months passed and three months and she drove passed the house but it felt foreign to her. So she said it again, she needed space, mountains of it, years of it, more space than he could ever give her. And when she set foot inside the house for the last time to take what she deemed hers from a short lifetime of theirs, she left all but a shoebox of decorations. 
"Oh well," Jeff was smiling at her like whatever he said she'd be hanging on, "you happen to be in the presence of the best ornament chooser in the entire world." He pointed to Charlie as he spoke, indicating it was the seven year old who possessed all the expertise of Christmas decoration. 
"Really?" She attempted her best look of skepticism as Charlie nodded his head in agreement with his father. 
"Dad buys me a new ornament every year that I pick out all on my own." He replied as proof of his skill. 
Audrey agreed, unable to say no to Charlie. He was too sweet and she was enjoying spending time with him and Jeff too much. It was arguably some sort of honeymooning phase, she reasoned, that had her this invested in a guy that she had only been on one date with but she couldn't help it. This was just a for the holidays thing, a see where this goes, nothing special, thing that didn't have too mean too much. She didn't have to read too much into every look and every touch, didn't have to take everything so seriously, and still she was eagerly agreeing to spending the rest of her afternoon with Jeff and Charlie. 
"I gotta tell you Charlie," Audrey said as she walked through the Christmas tree lot with him, "I am no tree expert. I haven't had a real tree since I was a kid." 
"That's okay," he promised, "I'm the best tree chooser there is." 
Jeff walked just behind the pair, listening to his son discuss the important parts of the tree and how to pick the best one, talking with such authority that his bullshitting was almost believable. Once Charlie got started on a topic it was nearly impossible for him to stop and he loved showing off whatever knowledge he might have, be it minimum or not. 
"Expert ornament chooser and expert tree chooser?" Audrey asked, glancing back at Jeff with amusement. Jeff grinned back at her. 
"What can I say?" Charlie replied, "Christmas is the best time of the year."
"I can't argue with that."
"Besides, if you don't get a tree then how is Santa going to bring you presents?" Charlie asked, a look of distress washing over his features as his eyes met hers. The thought had just occurred to him and yet it was a troubling one.
"That explains the lack of gifts the last few years...I think Santa is still delivering all my presents to my parents' house." She teased. 
"Do you live by yourself?" Charlie asked, intrigued by the new development. 
If Jeff was eager to learn more about Audrey than Charlie was tenfold. He asked questions about her job and her house and what her favorite Christmas activity was. Jeff wasn't sure if it was just her being too polite to ignore Charlie's questions or if she was truly interested in what he had to say but she listened and chatted. Dating hadn't been something that Jeff had kept at the top of his to-do list and he definitely hadn't introduced too many people to his son. A few close friends, those that knew him before his wife passed away, but no one that he seriously considered spending his life with. Not that he was thinking that far in advance now but getting to know Audrey was definitely something he wanted to continue doing. 
The three of them circled the tree lot more times then Jeff felt necessary, scouring rows of evergreens that he was sure they had already examined until Charlie finally spotted the spruce that he wanted. He let out a shout of exclamation at the sight and broke out in a dash as if someone else might discover the tree before he could reach it. "This one!" He announced, standing in front of the tree and waving his arms to draw their attention to it.
"That one is..." Audrey looked at the tree on display, imagining the trip up the stairs and sheer mass of it sitting in her small apartment, "big." It seemed like the only logical adjective to describe the tree she was staring at.
"Big trees are the best trees." Charlie insisted, "you can get the most ornaments on." 
"Maybe you can, I'm still lacking in the ornament department." Audrey replied. A shoebox full was not enough for a tree that was threatening six feet tall. She'd been hoping that the seven year old would settle on something more akin to a tabletop but he seemed determined that the green giant was going to be part of Audrey's Christmas. 
"We can get you more ornaments." 
"Don't fight it," Jeff teased, coming up beside her. His hand fell to the small of her back, turning just slightly toward her so that he could whisper in her ear, away from Charlie's heightened hearing, "he's never gonna give in."
"I think I've already figured that one out." Audrey replied, looking at Jeff, unable to stop herself from smiling. 
Tree decided on, Charlie was as determined as ever to find ornaments that would go perfectly. He insisted that they not be too uniform, complaining, at seven, about the odd need for trees on television shows to have a ribbon woven through them. The strong opinions he had about Christmas were entertaining, to say the least, and Audrey didn't fight them. She had been content without all the fuss, happy to let Christmas happen the same way that it did every year but now she found herself letting Jeff haul a tree up her steps and into her apartment.
Charlie seemed as enamored by her tiny house as he did by her, rushing to the window to look out on the street that he'd walked around on a hundred times. "Dad!" He called, face close to the window pane, unbothered by the hint of cold that seeped in through the the old wood and glass. 
Jeff let the tree slide off his shoulder, leaning the tree that was as tall as he was against his chest as he looked over at his son, "what's up Charlie?"
Audrey locked the door behind them, bags in one hand as she kicked her shoes off. She had stopped for some ornaments along the way, practically clearing out her Target's Christmas section. Marci had eyed her suspiciously as she checked out, fully aware of Audrey's disdain for the holiday season. She had ignored her co-worker though, rushing through self-checkout as quickly as possible so that she could avoid making Jeff and Charlie wait too long outside of her apartment. 
"Look!" Charlie called, waving Jeff over as if the tree wasn't heavy and unstable. "You can see Main Street."
"You should stay for dinner and see it at night with all the lights." Audrey replied, setting the bags down on the couch as she went over to help Jeff, "I can't believe you guys stopped and got a tree stand too."
"You can't have a tree without a tree stand." Jeff shrugged, "that seemed pretty obvious. Tree, tree stand, ornaments..."
"Yeah, yeah, alright." Audrey laughed, setting up the stand. 
While Jeff did most of the assembly in getting the tree in the stand and cutting it loose from the netting, Charlie rummaged through the bags of ornaments, sorting them into groups that he decided went together. The tree didn't take as long as Audrey thought it would but it did look a lot better in her apartment then she had first suspected when Charlie had spied it in the lot. Though it blocked a decent amount of her window view, the ornaments looked pretty with the lights and she had even brought out the shoebox of special ones that she kept in her bedroom. 
"Some of these are pretty old, they belonged to my great grandma." Audrey explained, setting the box on the coffee table and opening it up for Charlie to see. 
"This one is so cool!" He held up a blue bobble, handpainted with a horse and carriage in the snow. "My grandma got me an ornament decorating kit and I painted one with a Christmas tree." 
"I bet it looks really awesome," Audrey replied, taking the ornament from him so she could hang it up a little higher. 
"You should come over to see it!" Charlie looked thrilled at his idea, turning to his father in excitement, "what do you think dad? Could Audrey come over soon?"
Jeff looked over Charlie's head to Audrey, their eyes meeting as Audrey smiled. It seemed a natural occurrence when she was around Jeff though she didn't want to let herself think too hard on the matter. 
"I don't see why not." Jeff finally said. 
"Well, since you're here now, what should we get for dinner tonight?" Audrey asked, taking another ornament from Charlie to hang up. 
"Pizza!" He replied without hesitation. 
"Pizza it is," She agreed, stepping away from the tree to grab her phone, "any toppings?"
-
Dinner was served on the coffee table, the three of them sitting on the couch to watch TV, Charlie choosing It Happened on 5th Avenue as his Christmas movie of choice. He sat between them, enthralled in the film, announcing favorite scenes just before they happened. Audrey had steered clear of cliche Christmas films like It's a Wonderful Life or Love Actually for a while, longer that she had been single. She never cared for them and always found them cheesy and ridiculous. The leads falling in love all within a week, enamored with each other as if there was no one else in the world. As if falling in love at Christmas solved all their problems. But here she was, watching this old black and white film and actually enjoying it. 
It was nearly three quarters of the way through when Jeff felt Charlie slump against him more that he glanced down, realizing that his son had fallen asleep. Audrey seemed to pick up on Charlie's sleeping around the same time, pausing the film and asking if wanted to let Charlie nap in her bed. "Unless you two need to get home?" 
"We can stay a little while longer," Jeff replied, reluctant to go as it was. 
While he carried Charlie into the bedroom, laying him on the bed and covering him with a blanket, Audrey cleared away the pizza and closed the front window. She grabbed a bottle of wine from the cabinet and two glasses, meeting Jeff back in the living room.
 "Wine?"
"What've you got?" Jeff asked, taking the bottle from her.
"Just a red, it's from a subscription I get every month." She replied, "I could be paying for a gym but-"
"Wine is better than a gym," Jeff concluded, heading back to the couch with her. She let him pour the glasses, a little heavy handed though so was she. "I was thinking about what you said, about looking for something that wasn't working at Target."
"My glamorous part time job...what about it?" Audrey asked, taking a sip of her wine. 
"The art teacher at Charlie's school is going on maternity leave and I heard they posted the job online. I'm not trying to overstep or anything, just saw it and thought of you." 
"Well, I'm flattered that you thought of me. I'll look into it." She replied, "part of me would love it, honestly, and the other part is terrified to actually do something like that. I feel everything has moved really slowly but quickly at the same time for me." 
"I know the feeling well. Don't feel like you need to consider anything just cause I mentioned it." Jeff replied, "take everything at your own pace."
"I'll never move forward if I do that." Audrey admitted. 
"Well hey, nothing needs to be decided now...I mean, Christmas break is right around the corner."
"That's right, you have finals for your semester don't you?" Audrey asked. She wasn't sure why it hadn't occurred to her the entire time that they were out shopping or looking for a tree but it was as if she suddenly remembered that Jeff had actual work when class hours ended. 
"Coming up, yeah." He nodded. "I'll be spending the next four days prepping and grading essays." 
"I'll trade you bitchy, impatient customers who think I'm secretly stashing all the stuff they want so they can't find it?" Audrey offered.
"Now that you mention it, the papers are fine." He replied, smiling at her as he took a sip of wine, "so this party coming up? It's your co-worker's?"
"Co-worker/best friend." 
"How did that come about...if you don't mind my asking?" 
"I guess, all my other friends are friends with  Chris too you know? They knew us when we were dating, as our relationship progressed, they went to our wedding. When I left him and it wasn't for any "good" reason, I think they felt like I was overreacting." Audrey admitted. Even more than leaving and telling Chris she was never coming home, she could remember the distinct heartache that had followed her falling out with her best friend. The way Leah had accused her of being dramatic and foolish and told her that she was blowing things out of proportion. "I mean, he didn't cheat on me, he wasn't some awful guy...a little controlling sometimes but not to the magnitude of telling me what I could and couldn't do."
"If you don't love someone, you don't love someone. You can't stay in a relationship just because they're 'not a bad guy'." Jeff replied. 
"I feel bad telling you about all this honestly," she confessed, "I'm trying to divorce my husband, you lost your wife, that's...I feel silly having such superficial problems."
"It's not superficial." He reassured. "I met Hannah in my early 30's after I had broken up with a woman who wanted me to propose to her."
"Oh no," Audrey laughed, "you were one of those!"
Jeff nodded, "thought I didn't want commitment, I think I just, didn't feel like I knew what I wanted. But, I met Hannah through friends and we took things slow until she basically told me to propose or get out-"
"I like her."
"She was great. You know, it's hard...she passed away around the holidays. It would've been our first Christmas with Charlie." He replied, "I thought about not celebrating...took me weeks to put up a tree. He won't remember any of that but, it felt like something I had to do." 
"For Charlie or for yourself?" 
"Both of us, I guess. I didn't want him to feel like Christmas had this awful connotation, you know? I didn't want him to grow up feeling like he couldn't celebrate and he had to be sad." 
"When I moved out of my house with Chris it was just, easier not to celebrate. It was just me and it felt ridiculous to decorate this little apartment." Audrey admitted, looking over at the tree in front of the window, "seeing the tree up though, I kinda missed that."
"If you let Charlie come back again he'll probably put gifts under it for you just to make sure it looks official." 
"Charlie is awesome, you have an amazing kid." 
"Thank you, I think so most of the time." Jeff laughed. 
9 Days Until Christmas
"I gotta say, the cowboy boots are a touch I wasn't expecting." Jeff laughed as Audrey stepped out the front door of her apartment. She did a twirl, showing off the outfit she was wearing beneath her plaid coat. 
"Would you believe me if I told you they were a Footloose impulse buy after high school graduation?" Audrey asked. 
-
Not everything feels like something else, but holding on to a pair of red cowboy boots that went with nothing in her wardrobe simply because of the sentimentality felt a lot like being stuck in place. When she came back for her things, letting herself into the old house with two suitcases that her mom had been reluctant to give away ("can't you just work it out? Have you even tried?"),  she had almost left them. Sitting there on the bottom of her  shoe rack, accumulating the dust that was inevitable for something so rarely worn, she had thought of letting them go too. Was it symbolic? To leave both the boots and Chris behind? But she could bring herself to leave them the way she had left her marriage so she carried them out to the car and put them in the front seat and then, three years and five months later she wore them to a Kacey Musgraves concert with Cady. 
"Can't say I'm a fan of the film." Jeff admitted. 
"Is that your way of telling me that you don't recognize Ariel's iconic red cowboy boots?" And now she wore them again. Red cowboy boots paired with black stockings, a jean skirt that fit the persona of Midwest Christmas she was trying to pull off, and a sweater that was cuter then it was ugly. Pink with white pompoms and a sequined Jolly Old Saint Nick. Cady's holiday party would inevitably be as country as she wished she was and Audrey had every intention oof dressing for it. 
"It is." Jeff replied, "but you look beautiful." Audrey had mentioned her best friend's proclivity for all things Tennessee Christmas but that had done little to influence Jeff's outfit. Dark jeans and a cable knit sweater with boots. Nothing entirely special in the outfit, and Audrey had never been one to give men's fashion too much thought, but he certainly looked good. "I feel like I should've dressed the part more." He took Audrey's hand in his as they made the short trek across the street and down to the small parking lot a block away. 
"That's okay, when we inevitably sneak away from the party because, god love her but Cady's 'Yeehaw Christmas' is a little more than I think I can bear, you'll look like a normal person and I'll look-"
"Like you're in middle school?" Jeff teased. 
"Exactly like that," Audrey replied.
Comical as it was, Yeehaw Christmas was the perfect describer for the party that they walked into. Cady had outfitted her shared apartment with decorations that looked as if they had been purchased at Cabellas or maybe just a Dollar General. Cady's wasn't the only party a friend had invited Audrey to this season but it was the only one she committed to, at least, making an appearance at. Her other friends were friends with Chris and she knew he would be there too, as if it was all some elaborate plot to convince her that maybe she had made a mistake when she decided that they no longer fit in each other's lives. 
"You made it!" Cady shouted across the room, rushing over to wrap Audrey in a hug. Ten years made little difference to either of them. The idea of meeting your best friend at a retail job seemed like something that truly only happened on TV but Cady had been the  lifeboat back to normalcy after the heartache. "Oh god, I'm so glad you came!" 
"I said I was." Audrey insisted, pulling away from Cady. She was standing slightly in front of Jeff and when her eyes met Cady's she shifted her gaze subtly to the side, a look that screamed, 'I brought him'. 
Cady's eyes shifted over to Jeff, brushing her blond hair back as she looked up at him. He was taller than her. Like a tower. He was taller than Audrey and she was relatively tall, or so everyone always felt the need to say when she wore heels. Before she could say anything Audrey continued, introducing them. "Cady, this is Jeff. Jeff, my best friend Cady. 
"Thanks for letting me tag along." Jeff replied, handing over the bag that contained a small hostess invitation. "Audrey said you don't do wine."
Cady took the bag from him, pulling out a bottle of  grey goose. "Thank you! This is the best Christmas present ever!" She joked.
More partygoers came, allowing Audrey and Jeff a break from Cady as they made their way over to the kitchen and the counter space that was doubling as a bar for the evening. There were cheap flavored vodkas, tequila, whiskey, gin, and some bottles of red wine stuffed into the small space between the sink and the fridge. 
"Guess we have our pick?" Audrey asked, looking over her shoulder at Jeff. 
"I'll stick with the whiskey, seems like a safe option." He replied, "only cause I've heard of the brand." 
"What? No peppermint mocha vodka?" Audrey said, trying and failing not to sound completely grossed out by the suggestion of the flavor. 
Jeff laughed, "tell you what, if you do a shot I will do a shot." 
Audrey grabbed two shot glass sized red solo cups, never one to back down from a challenge, and poured the vodka in them. Truthfully, she just wanted to see him drink something as ridiculous  as Christmas themed vodka simply because he struck her entirely as a classy kind of drinker, even his beer on their first date had felt superior to all those cheap brands she'd snuck in high school. He was game for just about anything though, proving it as he kicked back a shot of the sweet liquor, feeling the faint burn of it down the back of his throat. 
"Can't say I love feeling like I just tossed a whole pack of spearmint gum in my mouth and lit it on fire." Jeff commented, sticking his tongue out for a second as if that would get rid of the taste. Audrey coughed around her shot, almost losing it but swallowing at the last second. She gagged and shook her head furiously at the tiny cup in her hand. 
"No." She finally said. "No, that was terrible."
"It was bad."
"It was...oh god, I need something after that." She replied. 
Jeff shifted bottles around until he found a decent red nestled in the back. "How's this?" He grabbed two cups from the stack, filling them a little more than he would a wine glass. 
"Works for me."
She took his arm, pulling him passed the fridge and a little further into the kitchen as people came in to grab drinks. Jeff moved with her, turning so his back was to the other couple and the two of them were in their own little corner. Audrey looked passed him, watching as a few more people came and went from the kitchen. 
"I really didn't feel like I was going to feel old being here but I totally do." Audrey muttered. 
"You feel old?" Jeff scoffed, "how do you think I'm feeling right now?" He brushed his hand through his hair to draw attention to the strands of gray there among the black. 
"Well, don't worry, I have no plans to stay the whole time," Audrey whispered as if someone would overhear her, "I love Cady but she can go forever if she's drunk enough and I definitely think she's on her way there."
-
Jeff opened the door to Charlie's room, the dinosaur nightlight in the corner glowing and painting the room a dim yellow. The party had been a short lived experience followed by a quick meal at a diner down the street from Cady's apartment. He and Audrey had sat there in the booth against the window, the conversation easy over burgers and fries. 
It had been fun, good even, to go out with Audrey and go to a stupid holiday party. Everything was fine until he walked in the front door. His mom was in the living room watching an old  Christmas special, a million questions on the tip of her tongue when he came inside. He'd managed to dodge most of them, skirting around details and specifics as he rushed her out the door and promised that he'd see her soon. He wasn't completely sure that he was ready to divulge details about Audrey to his mother. 
Back in his own room, Jeff sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling off his sweater and undershirt and tossing them over to the hamper. His eyes landed on the picture that sat on the dresser, the same picture he'd looked at a million times in the last seven years. It was a picture of him and Hannah on their wedding day, close enough that the bottom of her dress was cut off but it didn't matter, he could remember everything about that moment. That day had felt like a godsend, the moment in his life when everything felt like it was going right and he was finally on the right path. Jeff stood up, crossing the room and taking the picture off the dresser to look at it closer. 
Audrey popped into his unprompted as he stared down at the picture of his late wife. Was moving on something that he really wanted? He'd thought about it before but it never felt like the right time. He never felt ready to let go of Hannah's memory or the love he had for her. But he knew there was something different about Audrey. He didn't feel so much like loving her would be giving up Hannah. Something he hadn't felt once in the last seven years. Something he felt like he had to hold onto. 
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Happy Birthday, booksandeverlark!
Today, we wish @booksandeverlark a very Happy Birthday! We hope you’re having a wonderful day so far, full of cake and presents! To keep your party going a little while longer, the lovely @historywriter2007​ has written a story just for you!
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Happy Birthday booksandeverlark!  I hope you had a fantastic day and that you enjoy your story.
Maybe He Wasn’t  My Always
Rated T
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The small town of Panem hasn’t changed much in the past 10 years since Katniss left. She hadn’t planned to be away for so long but after college she was offered an amazing job from the company where she had interned and she couldn’t resist. It wasn’t until Prim begged her to come home that she took an inventory of her life and realized she was miserable. Her friends were as fake as their silicone boobs and no matter how much money she was making she never seemed to feel like she was happy. Even though growing up all she could ever think about was not having to worry about where her next meal came from, now she could have anything she wanted but it left her feeling more empty. At least she found joy knowing she was helping Prim through medical school but now that she was heading into her residency and they ended up with a large inheritance from her distant uncle, who had no heirs, she could take a pay cut and come back home to be with her sister.
As she was heading to meet her friend Madge her phone dinged with a request of coffee and cheese buns. Katniss knew she would need to go to one place to get those, Mellark’s Bakery. She hoped she could avoid the place for a few days until she got used to the idea of being home and close to her longtime crush, who happened to run the bakery now, but it looked like a very pregnant Madge had a different idea. And of course, as her luck would have it, Peeta was working the front desk.
“Katniss, I heard you were home. Are you back for good?” He asked with a huge smile on his face.
She wondered if he always looked so happy to see someone. “I am, Prim begged me to come home and I found a job nearby. How’s the business?”
“It’s great actually. What can I get for you?”
“I’m meeting Madge, she wants a decaf and cheese buns.”
Peeta nodded and gathered the first items before placing another cup on the counter. “And, you’ll have cheese buns and a hot chocolate?” Peeta added.
Katniss smiled, “You remembered.”
Peeta’s cheeks reddened. “I remember a lot of things about you.”
Before Katniss could respond the door dinged letting them know the bakery had a new visitor. The woman was wearing scrubs and had beautiful red hair and green eyes, but she was carrying a baby boy who was the spitting image of Peeta. She smiled and walked right past Katniss to hand the baby off to Peeta, who took him without question. After a few minutes of hello’s with the boy, he turned to Annie.
“Annie, this is my old friend Katniss.”
Annie half smiled, “It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.” She looked her up and down before turning back to Peeta, “Don’t forget I have the late shift tomorrow.”
“Got it.” He answered.
She dropped a diaper bag at his feet and turned to walk away.
Katniss tried to smile, but her heart felt like it was constricting. Peeta didn’t seem to notice as he tried to introduce the baby to Katniss.
“Jake, can you say hi to my friend Katniss?” The baby cuddled more into him, “he’s a bit shy.” Peeta said.
“I remember someone else who was shy,” Katniss mentioned thinking back on the boy who would turn away anytime she looked his direction.
“I was only shy with a few people,” He added, pink twinging his cheeks like it did when they were in high school.
Katniss didn’t want to think about what he was trying to say, it was too late for her to even try to get him now. Maybe if it was only a girlfriend she would be alright with thinking of ways she could win his heart away, but not if she was destroying a family. “I need to go, I’m late to meet Madge.” She didn’t give him a chance to answer, as she left the bakery.
Katniss struggled to stay away from Peeta, but in a small town, it was nearly impossible to avoid someone. She played hide and seek with him in the aisle of the grocery store watching him fill his cart with diapers and formula. He even showed up at the park when she was with Madge and her oldest child. Madge’s comments on how good he was with Jake were the last thing she needed. It was hard enough to see him happily play with his boy knowing she would never be a part of it with him. She never thought she wanted children, but seeing him as a father made her rethink her stance.
At least she had avoided Annie, that was until she met Prim for her dinner break a week after she arrived home. Katniss watched the woman pay for her food and walk to a nearby table. Prim followed her gaze and gave Katniss a confused look.
“Why are you shooting daggers at Annie?” Prim asked.
“I am not.” Katniss spit back.
Prim narrowed her eyes, “First of all you are a shitty liar, so don’t even try it with me. Second, if you had your bow I’m pretty sure she’d be dead so what’s going on?”
Katniss sighed, she knew Prim wouldn’t give up until she told her the truth. “You know that I had a crush on Peeta growing up.”
Prim scoffed, “Katniss, the whole town knew. We also all knew that Peeta had a crush on you too. The only two who didn’t seem to know were you two.”
Katniss scowled at her, “Well, now that he’s with Annie there’s nothing I can do about that. Especially since they have a child together.”
Prim busted into laughter, which made Katniss angry, “What the hell are you laughing at?”
“You. They aren’t together. In fact, she’s dating the hottest doctor in the hospital.”
“But she came in with Peeta’s baby.” Katniss refuted.
Prim shook her head. “Do you ever listen to me when I’m telling you about home?” Katniss didn’t answer, she just looked at her willing her to continue. “Do you remember when I told you about Peeta’s brother?”
Katniss nodded, she remembered Prim telling her about a car accident that claimed Peeta’s oldest brother, Brandon and his wife. She even sent Peeta a message sending her condolences.
“Well, Peeta had been named as their son’s guardian. Annie was Brandon’s wife’s sister. She wanted to make sure Jake knew that side of the family too so she takes him for a night every now and then and watches him when she can.” Prim shoved a forkful of salad into her mouth, giving Katniss time to register everything she said.
“So Peeta’s single?” Katniss asked.
Prim looked at her incredulously, “Yes. He’s single and I talked to him this morning. He was really hoping he would have been able to talk to you more but felt like you were avoiding him. I’m sure he’s really confused, especially since I told him about your crush before you come home.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because you both needed a kick in the ass to make your moves. Now, you need to get to the bakery before it closes. Doctors orders.”
Katniss smiled and hugged her sister then did as she was told. When did she get so bossy?
The sign said closed, but she could see Peeta cleaning the tables by the window. She knocked to get his attention, he looked up and gave her a smile before opening the door and letting her in.
“Hey, did you need something?” He asked.
“No, but I know you talked to Prim andI need to tell you something. I’m sorry.” She said.
Peeta looked confused, “Why are you sorry?”
“You were right. I’ve been avoiding you.”
“Katniss, it’s fine. I know you didn’t want kids and now that I have Jake things are different. You know Prim told me about your crush and even though I would love for us to try if you still don’t want kids I understand. I’m not expecting anything from you.”
“But that is not the reason I’ve been staying away. I thought you and Annie were together and that Jake was yours.” Katniss admitted.
“You know that’s not true right? I mean technically Jake’s mine now, but I’m not with anyone.” Peeta responded.
“I know that now. Prim told me everything. And I’ve changed my mind on kids.”
Peeta moved a bit closer, “That’s good to know. Does that mean if I asked you to dinner that you’d take me up on the offer?”
Katniss decided to make a move, she got on her tiptoes and placed a soft quick kiss on his lips. “I’d love to, but first I want a proper meeting with Jake.”
“Deal. I have a feeling you two will get along well.” Peeta said with a smile.
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safflowerseason · 4 years
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veep rewatch - 3.02
Season Three, Episode Two - The Choice
aka - The One Where Dan Gets Seasick 
(It seems like a good time to begin this series again...)
Gary, to himself in the mirror: …When did you get your dad’s face?
LOL at Dan telling Richard not to be cute. 
Gary: Ma’am, instead of doing all this pre-campaigning, sometime in the next 24 hours, you grab a mic, you say, "I'm Selina Meyer and I'm running for President of the United States!” *beat* Selina: I’m just gonna use the bathroom really quick.
Kelly: This definitely does not do video. Amy: Then what were you doing?!  (I just think it’s hilarious the way Anna Chlumsky delivers this little line…that perfect outraged bemusement.)
Hahahaha Dan gets so seasick. He’s so terrible I don’t even feel sorry for him. (This also means his S2 line about power-boating on Lake Erie is now irrelevant, which is fine because I think this is a more hilarious canon fact about Dan.) 
Wendy, about Jonah: Look who I found in a basket on our front door. 
What the hell is Jonah wearing in this scene. What is that terrible cardigan. What is that T-shirt he is wearing underneath. What.
Criminal: Hey, I voted for you! Selina: Thank you very much, sir! But I’m afraid you have to go to prison!
The chaotic scene on the boat, with everyone yelling and speaking over one another about POTUS’s announcement is quite well done, reminiscent of the scene in the kitchen during Helsinki (another great Selina-Amy-Gary-Dan group scene.) 
Ben: Ma'am, I swear to God, we all thought he was gonna just eat some shrimp, rattle off a few platitudes, go home, watch Full Metal Jacket for the millionth time and fall asleep.
Amy: Has POTUS gone nuts? We can’t have a crazy president.  Gary: In Italy they do.  (Heh.)
Selina: I can't identify myself as a woman! People can't know that! Men hate that. And women who hate women hate that, which, I believe, is most women, don't you agree with that? 
Dan: I swear to God, I felt better on the fucking boat.
Dan: And as vice president, here's your choice, two doors, pro-choice, pro-life. That’s it. Selina:…Is there a third door?  Amy: What, like a woman's door?  Dan *scornful*: A back door? No.
Lots of little physical comedy bits in this episode…Dan being sick on the boat, Selina and the bathroom door, Richard and Kelli getting tangled up in the phone lines….Most of these bits require really coordinated dialogue as well, characters speaking over one another at the exact right moment…I feel like this kind of really specific and technical scene work went away in the later seasons, in favor of the characters just screaming outsized insults at one another. Which is a bit sad, because these scenes are so superbly done, and all of the actors involved really get to show off their technical skills as well as their mastery of the dialogue. 
There’s an argument to be made that the premise of this episode is not super realistic. I suppose it’s plausible that a lame-duck outwardly liberal but still old-white-male POTUS might reveal he has a more conservative view on the timeline for abortion. What’s less plausible is that Selina’s response requires completely rethinking her views on the topic, or that she’s run for high constitutional office in the United States without articulating a clear stance on the issue. The whole “what’s Selina’s position?!” drama is a bit over-blown. Why doesn’t she just reaffirm whatever her stance is? (I guess that is kind of what she ends up doing, by rehashing the book). And the notion that she could reverse her previous position to something more conservative that aligns with POTUS’s views does not actually make any sense politically, considering Selina’s party and her hopes for the future…like presumably POTUS has also pissed off other members of his liberal party? And he’s a lame duck POTUS anyway. Who cares? 
However, I think this is an example where it’s fine that a show about politics does not hold up to perfect realist scrutiny, because it still makes for a great episode of television where we see Selina really wrestle with her identity as Veep and as a female politician, and we get to dive deep into the stakes of a “controversial” political issue (in quotations because it shouldn’t be controversial) and watch how the team deals with it. 
Jonah: I’m going to be updating more than I'm actually dating…which is a shitload. I think in the BMTL universe, Jonah resurrects Ryantology and his unhinged videos are part of how he wins the presidency. This kind of aggressive-direct-to-the-people-straight-talk-cut-through-the-bullshit rhetoric is exactly how Trump appeals to his base (even though it’s not at all true that it’s “real”), and is certainly more interesting politically than Jonah advancing as a politician because he’s racist and sexist and hates vaccines. 
Kent and Sue begin their hilariously robotic flirting in this episode. 
Selina’s got so many great lines in this scene about gender politics and the politics of abortion, all of which I would put on a coffee mug or a t-shirt.  “Get the government out of my fucking snatch.” “If men got pregnant, you could get an abortion at an ATM.” “As a woman, I am not gonna put in a fuckin’ sentence ‘As a woman…’ I am not putting my eggs in that basket.” “This is about access to safe abortions for vulnerable women.”
Read alongside one another, these lines illustrate how conflicted she is, not about abortion, but about her identity as a female politician and in turn, how that identity is perceived by the public to influence her political choices and views. She doesn’t want to be a labeled as a feminist political warrior, but she is still clearly passionate enough about women’s issues enough to try and figure out a way to articulate her views without sacrificing her political future—a future that depends on the support of old, white men. 
Costume-wise, Amy stands out among the ensemble in another turquoise green dress (I am very into her snakesin heels). This one is a wrap dress that is a bit darker than her dress for Mike’s wedding. Selina is wearing a black top and a red skirt, in a not-so-subtle nod to her struggle over what to say in public about abortion. Dan’s and Mike’s ties both have red in them. Unusually, nothing in Amy’s outfit really links her to Selina or to Dan.
Selina: Well, he fucking fudged it. Now we know he’s running for President, that stupid bastard. 
Dan’s meltdown is very well done by Reid Scott. This season, he really brings out Dan’s more intense side, highlighting his obsessive and neurotic qualities that we don’t normally see (because Dan keeps them buried) and adding this slightly unhinged edge to the character. At the same time, he emphasizes how Dan struggles to keep up the usual facade that everything is easy for him. In the previous episode, we even saw a flash of Dan’s crazy eyes. I simply don’t understand how Mandel watched Dan’s arc in S3 and came to the conclusion that this character didn’t really care about anything except money and sex. All Dan cares about in this season is winning, to the point where he actually self-destructs. It will be really fun to observe how the writers and RS play out Dan’s journey with this rewatch. 
Amy to Dan: Go home. Take an Ambien. Take fifty!
Ben: I’m going home, and if anyone needs me…I don’t care.
Poor Gary in this episode. He fails so hard at trying to be an actual political strategist. 
Dan: Hey you, Ugly Betty, give me that burrito! Jonah: Don’t just give it to him, dude!
“This is what happens when you fuck with my office!” Dan literally is seconds from beating up Jonah in this scene…his dangerous side on full display here. Part of me wishes we saw more of this super macho physical enforcer Dan, but at the same time, I do think it’s a bit jarring compared to Veep’s regular tone as a show. (It also makes you wonder what Dan’s breaking point is, when it comes to physical violence.)
Selina: Well, I said nothing…a big, fat, morbidly obese nothing.
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arysafics · 5 years
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Think of the Children
Summary:  RAs Clarke and Bellamy host a sex education lesson, which turns out to be a lot more than that.
prompt: Bellamy and Clarke are RAs and their residents keep coming to them with all these sex questions that initially start off innocent like about contraception but become more about how to please their partners and stuff (they see bellarke as mom and dad so they want all the advise)! Bellamy and Clarke decide that the best way to help is to show them so they host a “workshop” where they pretty much just have sex with each other in front of their residents to “teach” them how to have fun safe consentías sex
Rated E, ~3,700 words
Clarke barges into Bellamy’s dorm room, as she frequently does these days. He never keeps his door locked anymore. Thankfully, he’s fully clothed, sitting at his desk, frowning at his computer screen. He doesn’t even look up as she collapses on his unmade bed.
“You need something?” he asks.
“Maya just asked me if I would go and buy condoms for her. She’s too nervous to do it herself.”
“What did you say?”
“I told her where she could get free ones. That’s not the point though.”
Bellamy spins around in his chair to face her. “So what is the point?”
“The kids keep asking me sex questions.” The kids, not actually kids at all, but a bunch of eighteen and nineteen-year-olds that live in the dorms, whom Clarke and Bellamy have been charged with looking out for, as the dorm RAs.
“You can palm the sex questions off to me if it makes you uncomfortable,” Bellamy says. “Although I’m guessing the girls feel more comfortable coming to you.”
“Yeah, no offence, but if I were an eighteen-year-old virgin, my hot RA would not be the person I would go to for sex advice.”
“Hot RA, huh?” Bellamy smirks.
“Don’t get cocky,” Clarke rolls her eyes. She sits up and folds her legs under herself. “Anyway, it’s not that I feel uncomfortable. It’s just I get asked those kinds of questions more than anything else. We’re responsible for thirty-something eighteen-year-olds and I swear I’ve been asked the same questions that many times.”
Bellamy leans back in his chair. “Yeah, I gotta admit, I get asked a lot of sex questions too. Although I feel like it’s a lot less about contraception and more about how to get a woman to have sex with you.”
“So maybe we should just get all the kids together and just answer all the questions at once. Like a sex education workshop or something. We know high school sex ed sucks, it could be helpful. I know a lot because my mom’s a doctor, and you—well…”
“Have a lot of sex?”
Clarke shrugs. “You said it, not me.”
Bellamy grins. “A sex ed workshop, huh? It could be fun.”
“Fun is not what I was thinking.”
“If it’s not fun, they won’t want to come.”
“Well, you figure out how to make it fun, and then we’ll set a date and time. We’ll do it in the common room and we can use the whiteboard for like… diagrams and stuff.”
“You’re in charge of diagrams.”
“Obviously.”
“So, uh…” Bellamy says, scratching the back of his neck. “Is that the only reason you came here, or…”
Clarke flushes. She knows what he’s asking. A few weeks ago, while she was drunk in his room, she may have let slip that she likes to be watched while she gets off. Which then turned into her pulling off her panties and masturbating in front of him. And she may have done it a couple more times since then, without the assistance of alcohol.
“I don’t have a vibrator with me.”
“You can use your fingers. Like the first time.”
Clarke bites her lip. Just thinking about it has her loins throbbing. She brings a hand to the button on her jeans, pausing before she pops it open. She keeps her eyes locked on Bellamy. He’s watching her hand with baited breath.
Clarke slides her hand into her panties, and she’s surprised at how wet she is already. She runs her middle finger up and down her slit a couple of times, knowing Bellamy is on the edge of his seat, waiting for her to take her pants off and show him what she’s doing.
“Are you wet?” he asks hoarsely. Impatient. Clarke nods. “You gonna show me?” Clarke nods again. She’s about the pull her jeans off, when someone knocks on the door.
“Shit,” she says, hastily doing her jeans back up.
Disappointment crosses Bellamy’s face. He clears his throat. “Come in,” he calls. The door opens, and Jasper Jordan walks in.
“Hey, Bellamy—” he starts, then stops when he sees Clarke on Bellamy’s bed. “Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting?”
Clarke shakes her head. She hopes her face isn’t as red as it feels. “No. I was just leaving.” She gets up off the bed and heads past Jasper to the door. She looks back at Bellamy. “Think about what we can do to make it fun,” she tells him, and then she leaves him to deal with whatever Jasper’s problem is.
 -----
 About half of the people living in their residence hall show up to what Clarke advertised as a Sex Information Night. Bellamy wanted to call it Sex for Dummies, but Clarke vetoed that suggestion.
They’d posted a notice on the community board, as well as in the Facebook group Clarke had created at the start of the year, that read:
SEX
Information Night!
If you have any burning questions, queries or things you need clarifying to do with the topic of sex, whether it’s about contraception, consent, pleasure, or anything else, come to our information night.
Featuring advice, explanations, demonstrations, and most importantly, free food.
This Thursday night at 6pm in the common room.
Your devoted RAs, Clarke and Bellamy.
The free food was Bellamy’s best attempt at making it sound interesting, but what college student doesn’t love free food?
The group gathered in front of them is what Clarke assumes are the less experienced people living in the dorm. They’re squashed onto two worn old couches, chatting amongst themselves while they wait for Clarke to start the session.
Clarke is pretty sure she can tell which of them are there for the food and which of them actually want advice. Some of them are probably just there to watch Clarke embarrass herself. It’s one thing to give sex advice one on one to someone who asks, but giving an actual presentation to a group of people is kind of daunting. She’s glad she has Bellamy helping her.
He lets her take the lead, while he sits on the table behind her, in front of the whiteboard.
“Okay,” Clarke says, addressing the group. “Thanks for coming guys. What we’re going to do is answer some of the questions you guys have been asking a lot, and then we’ll let you ask whatever other questions you want to. This is a safe space, and I expect you all to be respectful of each other. No question is a stupid question.” She looks to Bellamy. “Anything to add?”
“I think you covered it.”
Clarke nods, then turns back to her audience, before launching into her presentation. She goes through all the different types of contraception she can think of, and tells them where they can get said contraception. She’s pretty sure all of them should know the female and male anatomy by now, but she draws diagrams on the whiteboard, just in case. She talks about consent, and a little about pleasure, and making sure your partner is having a good time too. Bellamy chimes in occasionally, backing her up.
“Okay,” she says when she’s finished, clapping her hands together. “Any questions?”
Jasper’s hand shoots up. “Do I have to go down on a girl if she asks me to?”
Bellamy snorts out a laugh. “You don’t have to, but you may want to rethink your stance on giving head. It’s actually pretty great.”
Oh, so he likes giving head, Clarke notes. Good to know.
Fox puts her hand up next. “I have a question, but no one laugh.”
“No one’s going to laugh,” Clarke promises her.
“I wanted to buy, um, you know. A vibrator. But I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t want to spend a ton of money on something that isn’t even any good.”
“Reading the reviews can help,” Clarke says. “And maybe start with something smaller and cheaper to see how you like it, and then progress from there.”
“What do you use?” Fox asks.
Clarke glances and Bellamy, who appears to be holding back laughter. She’s trying not to blush, because she did sign up for this, and she knows she shouldn’t be embarrassed about masturbating, or the number of vibrators she owns. She wasn’t really expecting things to get so personal.
“I have a few different ones,” Clarke says. “Maybe we can have a look online together later, and I can help you. And anyone else who wants to know.”
Fox seems satisfied with this, and Clarke moves on. “Any one else?”
“When are you giving the demonstration?” Murphy yells, sitting on a chair at the back of the room.
“Demonstration?” Clarke frowns.
“I mean, that’s why we’re all here, right? So you guys can show us how best to please our partners.”
“I’m not following,” Clarke says, shaking her head. She’s already given all the demonstrations she planned. Like the putting a condom on a banana.
“Yeah, to be honest that’s why I came,” Sterling says, beside him, Monroe nods. “I thought you guys were gonna… you know. Show us. That’s what the post seemed to imply.”
“Show you what, exactly?” Clarke asks. She looks to Bellamy, and he shrugs.
“Bellamy seems to think he’s pretty hot at giving head. Maybe he could show us that.”
Bellamy lets out a strangled choking noise. Clarke doesn’t think she’s ever seen him so flustered.
“Ah, no,” he says. “You guys misunderstood.”
Clarke is feeling a little flustered herself, though for probably slightly different reasons. Why is it that that very mention of Bellamy fucking her in front of everyone sent a surge of wetness between her legs? She’s throbbing there now, thinking about it. But they can’t actually do it. That would be crazy.
“Come on, guys,” Jasper complains. “We know you’re good at it. We just want to learn.”
Bellamy huffs. “Clarke and I have never even had sex. You think we’re gonna do it for the first time in front of you guys?”
“Wait, what?” Murphy snorts. “You guys aren’t fucking?”
Everyone else seems to be just as surprised as Murphy at this revelation. For some reason, the fact that they all thought she and Bellamy were sleeping together embarrasses Clarke more than the notion of him fucking her in front of them. It’s not logical, but then, when has her libido ever been logical?
“But she’s like… always in your room. With the door shut,” Maya says.
“We’re not, and nor are we going to,” Bellamy says. “Right, Clarke?”
He finally looks at her. Clarke chews her lip. His eyes widen.
“Right,” she agrees, but she knows she doesn’t sound convincing at all. She’s aware that all eyes are on her. She’s aware of her racing heart and the steadily growing ache between her thighs. She’s also aware that these kids look up to her, that they look to her for guidance and counsel. But isn’t that just more reason to do it? So they know what real sex looks like, instead of getting their ideas of what sex should be like from porn? So they know what enthusiastic consent looks like? Provided, of course, Bellamy actually wants to do it.
He’s watching her curiously. “Clarke,” he says, in that deep voice that makes her stomach lurch. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
She nods, and Bellamy leads her out of the common room and into the hallway, where the others can’t hear. A couple of people whistle as they leave.
“You want to do this,” he says, as soon as they’re out of earshot.
“I—” Clarke starts, her face heating up. She shrugs. “It’s for the kids. We should set a good example of what sex should be like.”
Bellamy eyes her with amusement. “That’s the only reason?”
Clarke purses her lips at him. “You know it’s not.”
“You want me to fuck you in front of everyone, under the guise of teaching?”
Clarke nods. “Yes,” she whispers. “But only if you want to. Don’t do it just because I want to.”
Bellamy steps closer to her, millimetres from touching her. “Oh, I want to,” he murmurs. He leans in, ghosts his lips against hers. Her lips part, and then he kisses her, firm but gentle. He pulls away. “Just wanted that for myself first.”
Clarke nods. “Bellamy—” she says. She swallows. “I wouldn’t do this with anyone else, just so you know. Just you.”
Bellamy smiles. “Good to know. Come on. Let’s show them how to fuck.”
Clarke laughs, and Bellamy takes her hand and leads her back into the common room.
“Ground rules,” Bellamy announces, walking back in front of the whiteboard, still holding Clarke’s hand. “No video and no photos. Phones remain away at all times. And no commentary. If you feel uncomfortable, leave. Nothing that happens from here on out leaves this room, got it?”
“And no masturbating please,” Clarke adds. “You can do that later in your room. No one wants to see that.”
Bellamy snorts. He gives her a look that says you’re one to talk. Excitement ripples through the room, and Clarke knows the kids are whispering, talking, maybe even to her, but she can’t seem to latch onto any word she recognises. Her eyes are focused on Bellamy, and his on her.
“Clear a couch,” Bellamy says. The five people squashed onto one of the couches scramble up, and Bellamy leads Clarke towards it. God knows how many other people have fucked on this couch, but right now Clarke couldn’t care less. “First lesson,” Bellamy says, and he’s addressing the room, but his eyes never leave Clarke. “Consent. If you’re not sure what your partner wants, ask.”
“Asking isn’t sexy though,” Roma pipes up.
Bellamy ignores her. Instead he shows her just how sexy asking can be. “Clarke,” he says, tracing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. “Can I kiss you?”
Clarke nods. “Yes.”
It’s harder than their first kiss, deeper, hungrier. Clarke kisses him back, and his tongue slips past her lips and into her mouth. He pulls away, then grazes her ear with his lips. “I want to go down on you,” he tells her.
“Okay,” Clarke agrees in a breath. She lowers herself to the couch, unbuttoning her jeans as she goes, keeping her eyes on Bellamy the whole time. He sinks to his knees in front of her. He pulls her shoes off, and then her socks, and then he helps her tugs her jeans down, so she’s sitting on the couch in her panties.
Bellamy kisses her inner thigh, and Clarke closes her eyes. She knows everyone is watching her, loves knowing they’re all staring at Bellamy as he kisses his way up her thigh. But she doesn’t actually want to see them.
Her heart is thumping hard against her rib cage, and when she feels his lips press against the wet spot on her panties, she feels like it’s going to burst out of her chest. His tongue darts out of his mouth, pushing into her slit through her panties, putting pressure on her clit. Clarke spreads her legs wider.
Bellamy’s mouth leaves her cunt, and she immediately misses the contact.
“Are you ready to take your panties off, baby?” Bellamy asks her. “Everybody wants to see.”
Clarke nods, squeezing her eyes shut tighter. Bellamy hooks his fingers into the sides of her panties, and Clarke lifts her ass off the couch so he can drag them down, baring her pussy to the room. She’s blushing all over, thinking about them all staring at her wet cunt, on display for everyone to see.
“Look at that,” Bellamy coos. “Look how wet she is.” She feels him spread her pussy lips with his big fingers. “You gotta make sure your girl is nice and wet before you fuck her, okay? Eating her out is a good way to get her there.”
He puts his mouth on her again, and Clarke feels a surge of relief, replaced quickly by an urgency, a desperation, as his tongue slips between her folds, working her clit, then backing off, then back to her clit, slowly driving her insane.
“Bellamy,” Clarke whimpers, not caring how pathetic she sounds in front of the kids. “Please, I need to come.”
Bellamy lifts his head, and Clarke opens her eyes to look down at him. “Take your top off,” he tells her. Clarke pulls her t-shirt over her head without hesitation. “And bra.”
Clarke fumbles with the clasp, her hands shaking. Bellamy reaches around her and helps her unclip it, and then she’s completely naked. She burns all over. She finally makes herself look at the crowd surrounding her. They’re all watching her, enraptured, eyes wide. Do they know how much she likes their attention? Or do they still believe it’s all for their benefit? They’re never going to look at her the same again. Every time they look at her they’ll see her naked and writhing on this couch.
She closes her eyes again as Bellamy’s mouth latches onto her neck. His fingers slip between her legs, gently massaging her clit, winding her tighter and tighter, until she’s about to break. Her breathing grows laboured, and she’s panting audibly, so close to orgasm she feels like she’s about to die. God, they’re all going to watch her come. The thought sends her over the edge, and she arches off the couch, gasping, her breasts pushing against Bellamy’s chest, his fingers still playing with her pussy.
“Yes, Bellamy,” Clarke moans. “Fuck me now, please.”
She opens her eyes again, just as Bellamy stands up, towering over her. He pulls his shirt over his head and kicks his shoes off.
“Someone hand me a condom,” he says. They’d handed out enough of them earlier. Clarke watches his hands as he unbuttons his jeans. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen somebody look as sexy as he does as he slowly takes off his clothes. His underwear is last to go, and then he’s as naked as she is. She eyes his hard cock, cunt throbbing at the sight of it, at the thought of having all these people watch him put it inside her.
“Damn,” someone mutters. Bellamy smirks, and Clarke bites back a laugh.
A condom appears in his hand, and he tears the wrapper, then rolls the condom onto his cock.
“Lube is usually a good idea,” Bellamy says. “But in this case, she really doesn’t need it.” Clarke flushes at that. He’s just bragging about how wet he got her. “Lie back, baby,” Bellamy whispers, putting a knee on the couch. “Let’s show these kids how it’s done, huh?”
He kisses her, and Clarke lowers herself into a horizontal position on the couch, pulling him with her.
“Ready?” he asks her, pressing his cock against her slit, getting himself wet with her arousal.
“Yes,” Clarke says. His cock stretches her wide as he pushes into her, and she lets out an embarrassing moan, if she could be embarrassed by anything right now.
“That’s it,” Bellamy says soothingly. “Good girl.”
Clarke feels her pussy clench around him. He thrusts into her, working up a steady rhythm, while she meets his every thrust, already well on her way to her second orgasm.
“Come on, baby,” Bellamy whispers. “I need you to come again. Everybody’s watching.”
The reminder sends her hurtling closer to her peak, his thick cock driving into her with force. “I’m close,” she says. “Keep going. Like that.”
She moans obscenely, and with a few more strokes of his cock, he tears her orgasm from her, the walls of her pussy fluttering around him, her body shuddering. Bellamy lets out a groan as he comes too, seconds after she does. He presses his forehead against hers, panting.
It takes them both more than a few seconds to come back to reality. The reality of fifteen or so college students applauding them, after having just witnessed them have sex with each other for the first time.
“That was amazing,” Roma breathes.
“Yeah, I think I learnt a lot,” Sterling agrees.
“Will you show us how to give a blow job now Clarke?” Fox asks. Never mind that both Clarke and Bellamy are still breathing heavily, red faced, his cock still inside her. He covers her body with his, keeping her nudity from the room, as if they haven’t seen it all already.
“Maybe some other time,” Clarke swallows. “The info night is over. You should all go back to your rooms now.”
Bellamy stays on top of her until the crowd disperses and they’re left alone in the common room. He sits up, sitting on the edge of the couch.
“That was… something,” he says.
“Are you okay?”
“Are you?”
“Yeah,” Clarke says, a smile creeping over her face. She trails her finger across his bare thigh. “I liked it a lot.”
Bellamy shakes his head, amused. “You’re really something, you know that?”
“What something?”
“I don’t know. Unique. Intense. I’ve never met anyone like you.”
Clarke’s smile drops, and she swallows, her heart pounding. That she wasn’t expecting. “In a good way?”
“In a good way,” Bellamy confirms. He stands up, removing the condom and throwing it in the trash, before picking up his clothes and getting dressed.
“So when can we do it again?”
Bellamy raises an eyebrow. “Have sex in front of an audience?”
“We don’t have to have an audience.”
“You think you can enjoy it without the audience?” Bellamy laughs.
“Maybe we can make a tape instead,” Clarke grins. Bellamy shakes his head. Fully dressed now, he stoops to pick up Clarke’s panties and throws them at her.
“Get dressed,” he says. “And then when can talk about it. You’re too distracting when you’re naked. Plus, who knows what is on that couch.”
Clarke sits up, then pulls her panties on. “Do you think any of them will tell anyone what we did? We could get in trouble.” She picks up her bra and puts that back on too.
Bellamy shrugs. “If they tell, we’ll just say it was for educational purposes.”
“It was.”
“Uh huh. You keep telling yourself that.”
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Text
Naezono Week, Day 5: Dream
           Makoto’s eyes cracked open blearily as he soaked in his surroundings. Warm sunlight permeated the room through a window with its curtains drawn back. His hands sank into a nice, cushy mattress that he knew all too well – after all, the school he got accepted into spared no expense for the students who had to live on campus. Casually, he threw the blanket off his body and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes and stretching his weary bones.
           As he smacked his lips thirstily, Makoto drank in more details of his average dorm room. Everything was as he remembered it, the previous night… and through the window, he could see the beautiful crystal blue sky with only a few white puffy clouds obscuring it. It was… a gorgeous day. Not a hint of pollution or dreary weather.
           ‘… Why does that feel so odd?’ Makoto mused to himself. It’s not like he should have been expecting anything else, right? As industrial as Tokyo could be, they were all pretty conscientious about the environment. And as far as he could remember, nothing spectacularly huge or devastating had hit the area… ‘… Huh. Well, whatever. I’ve gotta get going or I’ll be late!’
           This thought was prompted by a glance at his digital alarm clock, which informed him that he had woken up early enough that Ishimaru wouldn’t chew him out… But you never could be too careful with the Ultimate Prefect.  His high expectations had high expectations.
           Makoto chuckled weakly to himself as he got undressed. That sounded too confusing, even in his own sleep-deprived brain. Togami or Fukawa would have called him an idiot, if he’d said that out loud… Not that he’d be dealing with them first thing in the morning, since they both were usually among the last to get to class every day… Point being, though, maybe he just needed to wake up with a nice, cool shower.  
           He couldn’t remember if he’d had one last night, after all.
           ~*~
           It was always so interesting walking across campus in the morning. With so many colorful characters in the student body, and even amongst the staff, it kinda made each trip an adventure… Although to be fair, with every other student besides himself having some unique quirk, “abnormal” was the “normal” around here… Which made plain old him a guy that rather stood out, all things considered. So technically he was “unique”… at least around here.
           And boy, did that make his brain hurt, thinking about it.
           “Yo, Naegi.”
           Makoto blinked as he registered the student that he was walking by had stopped and was addressing him.
           “Kuzuryu-senpai…?” The Luckster greeted, curiously. He’d seen the yakuza heir around campus, of course. But the blond had never really shown much interest in him or much of Class 78, for that matter. What had changed his tune that morning?
           Fuyuhiko leaned back a little in his stance as if he were appraising the Luckster for a brief moment before he spoke again.
           “You doin’ okay? Gotten any headaches or anything?”
           Makoto blinked more owlishly as he processed the question. Yeah, he was totally fine. A little fuzzy-headed when he first woke up, but it wasn’t anything a shower couldn’t fix. He told the yakuza heir as such.
           “Well… go find Mikan or one of us, if you feel sick or whatever. Even those meatheads Akane and Nidai are supposedta be on hand… But if they’re too busy fucking around to help you out, just go find me or Peko, and we’ll straighten ‘em out.”
           Makoto sweatdropped at how brusquely his senpai had put that… like Akane-senpai or Nidai-senpai were unruly yakuza he had to keep in line. Then again, Makoto had his fair share of bossy classmates, himself… At least Togami-kun gave them some Togami Corp. employee benefits.
           Sometimes.
           On his best days.
           … And usually only for him, Sayaka, Kirigiri, Oogami, and Fujisaki. Oh, and sometimes Ikusaba.
           … Togami-kun still needed time to warm up to their other classmates.
           “I’ll… keep that in mind, senpai!” Makoto tried to muster his best reassuring grin – though he was pretty sure it also came off as sheepish. He didn’t want to get anyone in trouble, after all.
           Fuyuhiko just nodded tersely and was on his way with a lazy wave. Makoto briefly watched him go before heading into the main building where classes were held.
           “Every morning’s an adventure…” Makoto repeated to himself under his breath as he walked. He then smiled softly.
           He was lucky to have such compassionate senpai.
           ~*~
           Makoto yawned a little as the teacher droned on. For most of his classmates, all this stuff wasn’t really essential to their futures. With the skills they had, they were preparing for the future at a pretty good clip… They just needed to keep honing those skills.
           Some of them were better off applying themselves academically, certainly. Some were even rethinking their career paths. For Makoto himself… Well, he didn’t feel confident enough to allow himself to skirt by on luck, like a certain senpai of his.
           ‘… Haven’t I heard this lecture before?’ Makoto wondered to himself as he wrote notes down. This lesson was vaguely familiar.
           He didn’t get to ponder that for too long, though. He felt someone boring into the side of his head with their eyes, and when he craned his head to look, he found a pouty idol leaning forward on her desk, her lower face obscured by her arm. But her half-lidded eyes definitely confirmed she was pouting at him.
           “M-Maizono-san?” Makoto asked quietly, not wanting to get caught by the teacher. Her voice being muffled by her arm made her equally quiet.
           “You didn’t walk me to class…” Oh, the idol was definitely brooding now. Makoto could just see little storm clouds hovering over her pouty head.
           Makoto blankly stared back at the idol for a few short moments before it hit him that was one of their traditions… and he’d zoned out on it. For some reason it felt natural to come by himself, if that made sense? But Makoto couldn’t see why that would be. He always enjoyed Maizono-san’s company in the mornings. She was his best friend, and always energized him – spurring him on to do his best every day, and to live life to the fullest. And in return, she confided in him about the more stressful parts of her career, and relied on him as a stable, comforting pillar in her life.
           … He felt like a real heel right now…
           “I’m sorry, Maizono-san…!” Makoto apologized desperately in a hushed voice. “L-Let me make it up to you, I promise!!”
           And just like flipping a switch, the idol flashed a thousand watt smile and hummed contentedly.
           “Call me Sayaka-chan from now on, and go on a date with me, and all is forgiven~…”
           Makoto went as red as a tomato at being given permission to use her first name… Wasn’t that too intimate, even for best friends? Not to mention the part about the date… What would people say if they saw her out on a date with him? He was pretty sure she’d once told him about the rules idols had to follow, and-and besides, wasn’t it weird to ask your best friend to go out on a date...?
           … Wait.
           ~*~
           Sayaka giggled at his gobsmacked expression as they sat down on the bench at lunch. She hadn’t let him slip out of his ‘promise’, no matter how hard he stuttered out his protests – and apparently, she wanted to cash in on that “date” right away. Bad enough that he was “supposed” to be calling her Sayaka-chan, even in public where so many people could hear…
           The Luckster really worried about his friend’s career, he really did. It just meant so much to her, and he really wanted her to succeed – she didn’t need to waste time on teasing him, just to satisfy any silly crush he had on her. He knew she was way out of his league.
           “But I’m not teasing you.” Sayaka abruptly remarked, breaking Makoto out of his train of thought. Makoto blinked at the serious, concerned frown on her face.
           … Then he realized what had just happened. Again.
           “H-How did you…?!” Makoto spluttered in embarrassment. He couldn’t be that much of an open book, could he?!
           But the idol just giggled.
           “I’m an esper, silly! Sometimes I just activate my ability without even thinking!” Sayaka stuck out her tongue playfully. “… Kidding! I just have really good intuition.”
           Makoto’s cheeks were glowing red by this point as he stared down at his lap in embarrassment. He fell into that trap again, hook, line, and sinker. Cheesy joke or not, her intuition really was amazing… and dead accurate at that.
           “I am serious, though, Makoto-kun. I’m not leading you on.” Sayaka was shaking her head again, serious frown back in place. He looked back at her with morbid curiosity, not even the use of his first name distracted him as she went on. “Have you ever had regrets, Makoto-kun? The kind where you wish you could do something over again?”
           Makoto frowned thoughtfully at the question.
           “Well, yeah… I guess. Mostly small stuff, though – I can’t say I’ve had any real ‘major’ regrets…”
           Sayaka then smiled sadly. There was a remorseful tinge to it that Makoto couldn’t quite place.
           “Makoto-kun…” Sayaka laced her fingers through his and clasped their hands together consolingly. “Believe it or not, I think you do have at least one major regret. It’s the reason we’re here now. And… after everything, I think you of all people deserve this opportunity, even if it’s not permanent.”
           Makoto’s brow furrowed at her words. He didn’t get it at all.
           “You’re not making any sense… What’s this have to do with us… being here?”
           The Luckster blushed as Sayaka leaned her head on his shoulder and just smiled peacefully as she closed her eyes. She looked ready to take a nap more than have their lunch together.
           “You’ll understand eventually. And… I just want you to know…” When her eyes reopened and she planted a kiss on his cheek, Makoto’s blush deepened. Sayaka pulled back after a few moments but smiled warmly so close to his face. “You have amazing and considerate friends, Makoto-kun, but it wouldn’t have been possible for me to be here, if it wasn’t for you… I’m… I’m glad you’ve kept me in your heart all this time. I’m so happy to be here with you…”
           Makoto yelped a little as the bluenette wrapped him in a warm, comforting embrace.
           “S-Sayaka…?” The Luckster stuttered out, unsure if he should reciprocate the hug. The whole situation was still confusing him.
           When Sayaka pulled back, she wiped away a stray tear, still mustering her warmest smile.
           “I’ll make sure you graduate without regrets, Makoto-kun. I owe it to you after everything. And… I want you to know that I’ll cherish every moment of this as well. Just… Just think of this as a time of healing for us both, even if, in the end, you’ll be the only one to wake up.”
           ‘… even if I’ll be the only one to wake up?’
           Makoto was still left thoroughly confused by the idol’s words and emotions, and she wouldn’t elaborate on it just yet – she promised she would explain it, at the end. At the time, Makoto thought she was referring to the end of their budding relationship…
           … When the day inevitably came, he wished it had been that simple.
~*~
Note: I may come back and revisit this muse. Makoto placed in the Neo World Program after his friends (and senpai) see that he still carries the weight of Sayaka’s memory in him (as well as the weight of everyone else who died) - woof. I love how paradoxical it is, warm/comforting, yet so sad. 
.... Plus, I get to write more of Class 77, and that’s always fun. XD To clarify why Makoto was reliving his days at Hope’s Peak, and not on Jabberwock Island, well... Hajime Hinata is the Ultimate Everything. He could modify that program so fast. lol
Also - I know I still have to write Days 4, 6, and 7. I just felt inspiration to write Day 5 tonight. :3
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