#I never would have thought I'd ever get into CoD but here I am and I am enjoying myself greatly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shellibisshe · 11 months

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–oc tag game

tagged by @corvosattano @jackiesarch @marivenah @nuclearstorms @leviiackrman @nightbloodbix @chuckhansen and @queennymeria thank you all!

i think this has made it's rounds but tagging @loriane-elmuerto @jendoe @florbelles @unholymilf @denerims @risingsh0t @indorilnerevarine @lizzywizzy @ladysanjo @teamhawkeye @benwishaw @ghostfvcker and anyone else!

buckle up yall im going to get sappy. also super ungodly long post under the cut IM SAPPY

– favorite oc.

spencer clarke [the quarry]

i say it a lot but. she is me i am her. like actually, spencer has only been an oc for like a week and she has taken such a tight hold on my brain. I pour a lot of myself into my ocs, but i think spencer is the oc that has really gotten the most. she is the closest to a self insert i think out of all of them, she shares a lot of my behaviors and such. but she is just so fun for me to talk about (im sorry to lori and aj) and figuring her out has been such a blast.

amara owens [infamous: second son]

MISS AMARA CELESTE OWENS. I've had her for as long as i've had the fc5 clowns, or maybe even longer. Amara is an oc that makes me really happy. for a while, i never knew where i wanted to put her; i tried making her a multifandom oc but it just didn't feel right. then i played infamous: second son and it felt like everything just clicked with her. she's one of my most important ocs, no one else have i played the same game 6 times for.

marian ramos de-león [red dead redemption 2]

ms marian is also one of my oldest ocs, she's a little younger than the fc5 clowns, but she's also one of my favorites. she's another really fun character for me to think about. it was so fun to play the game and know exactly where she would be and what she would say. while i haven't done much with her canon or sadie au, making this new, spooky au for her was some of the most fun i've ever had with an oc. using concepts that i've always been a fan of but never really used has been so fun and it all clicks so well with marian

sylvie green [call of duty: modern warfare 2019]

my child whom i share custody of with lori. she has been one of my favorites for almost a year now, another one that has helped me figure out some stuff about myself, and like spencer she truly did grab onto my brain and has not let go. i never thought i'd make an oc for cod, let alone like,,,22 including side characters. half the fun has been getting to bounce ideas off of lori, and sylvie is absolutely one of those ideas. most things about her-- her name, her face, her backstory, even her ship-- are all lori's amazing ideas and i am so happy to have both of them in my life.

honorable mentions: elenore parker, hanan shepard, iseul jeong, corinne sorrell

– newest oc.

spencer clarke [the quarry]

like i said! i've only had spencer for like,,,4 days i think atp. but i love her a lot. with it being summer time here, i started thinking about the quarry again and jacob those that have been here u know i see a himbo i have to make a partner for them and decided it might be fun to make an oc for a horror game for a change! and i'm really happy i did.

jackie castillo [marvel]

more of lori's influence, seeing them talk about Asra and the rest of their marvel ocs made me want to make my own. Jackie is still a bit of a wip, but i love her all the same and i really do need to do some development on her.

blake liu [marvel]

my other marvel girlie. even more of lori's influence. Riri's roommate turned fellow kidnappee turned girlfriend. Asra's adopted daughter. Blake is so many things but everything clicks so well for her. another one i need to develop more, but i am so happy to have her as well.

thalia [assassin's creed: odyssey/origins]

thalia's some kind of phoenix-rising-from-the-ashes deal, but in a like, i scrapped one oc and made her. when i was overhauling Amara, i decided her assassin's creed au didn't really work, but i wanted an oc for odyssey so bad; so enter Thalia. she's one of my more stick in the mud characters but i still love her a lot.

honorable mentions: daphne palmer, silas kane, noah callaghan, andy kwan, rhea dawn

– oldest oc. (also; the favorites pt.2)

elenore parker [far cry 5]

you all knew she'd be here. the blueprint. the very first clown. the batshit insane queen herself. the reason i made this blog. Elle has been through a lot. and i've been through a lot at the same time. she's been there for me as a creative outlet through a lot of bullshit and i am so thankful for her. making her let me deal with some of my own trauma in a way. she's one of the only ocs that i shove into different ships and aus, and every one just works so well for her. she's gotten a bit of an overhaul recently and i'm even more happy with her now.

emily parker [far cry 5]

i can't talk about Elle without Emily. Emily is also a very self inserty character but she's also someone i wish i could be somehow. I don't lean on her as much as i lean on Elle, but i enjoy messing with her every time i do. she's an older oc, but there's still things that are up in the air about her namely if i will ever commit to shipping her with Wheaty.

margo seed [far cry 5]

Margaret Elizabeth Seed, the only oc i have argued with someone about. she was the very first ship kid, such a commanding presence; ever since making her it almost felt like she made herself if that made sense? another one that things just really clicked with; she's also my first aroace oc, and that has become very important to me. she stands on her own, she's another one that i want to be like when i grow up.

daniel seed [far cry 5]

the second ship kid. Daniel almost didn't exist, but i decided Margo could benefit from a narrative foil of sorts. he was a bit of a hassle, he was my first male oc and as such i couldn't land on a face claim for the longest time which was really frustrating for me. he and Margo are both such fun characters to write for, i love how i've managed to make them so similar and so different at the same time.

warren armstrong [far cry 5]

Warren was made at the same time, or close to the same time, as Daniel. he's the first oc that I have actually come up with a family for though, and that has become somewhat of a trend because of him. Warren took a second to really figure out, but he fits in so well with the twins and their shenanigans once i did. I don't talk about him nearly as much as i should, but he is also one of my favorites.

honorable mentions: fern solace, ashlee burrell, katherine boyer, judith burch, kennedy ryder, amara owens

– meanest oc.

ines cousland [dragon age origins]

I have a lot of violent or manipulative ocs (i think, at least), but none of them are on the level that Ines is. Ines walks around with a sort of chip on her shoulder about the world she lives in. she's composed and calculating and power hungry. she makes a lot of cruel and sort of impulsive decisions as a warden, but she is always one step ahead of those that challenge her. she knows she has enemies and she will stop at nothing to ruin their lives just for the fun of it. she's also incredibly ambitious as well; she wanted to be one of, if not the most, powerful people in Thedas, and she would stop at nothing to get herself there.

rhea dawn [fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood]

Rhea is not nearly as malicious as Ines is but she has her moments. she's not technically a villain, but she's also not really going out of her way to help the heroes either. she's never really had any second thoughts about her actions, she will take her own side before anyone else's. she knows she's one of the most powerful alchemists in the world, and if that inspires some fear then so be it.

levi choi [call of duty: modern warfare 2019]

he has to be here, but he's not really that mean compared to the two above. Levi's that friend that is always brutally honest, the one that you just want to fight sometimes because of it. he's not afraid to say what he thinks, he never writes a check that his ass can't cash, and you will hear about it if you piss him or his friends off.

honorable mentions: raina hawke, scott ryder, morgan brooks, noah callaghan, althea elowen, minerva siobhan, katherine boyer, shannon turner

– softest oc.

melanie vargas [the last of us]

Mel is another oc that got somewhat of an overhaul. when hbo tlou came out, i decided i didn't like the direction i went with her, so i scrapped it and started over. she turned out a lot softer this time, being reworked to be one of the friendliest faces of Jackson now. she is a bit more of a background character now because of her role in the universe, but i think that works out better for her.

amara owens [infamous: second son]

my favorite daughter here once again. Amara is one of the softer characters in the main cast of second son but that's not to say she's a pushover either. she would do anything for her friends, she would give anything to help a stranger. she's just one of those ocs that radiates a lot of positive energy and light.

kennedy ryder [mass effect: andromeda]

another one that's soft but is not a pushover. Kennedy would do anything to help anyone in need, but she will not let her kindness be taken advantage of by anyone. she's seen a lot, she's been through a lot, but she doesn't let it get to her. she's also the resident optimist of the gang, which can be a blessing and a curse.

nettie hayes [red dead redemption 2]

nettie, however, is too soft for her own good. maybe. she's the most optimistic oc of mine, always has her rose colored glasses on. in her mind, her world is a lot more idyllic than it is. she is a bit of a pushover as well; she can recognize when she's being screwed over but she won't do anything about it. she wears her heart on her sleeve and is probably the most sensitive of my ocs

honorable mentions: veris lavellan, bea morgan, daphne palmer, taylor ross, daniel seed

– most aloof/standofish oc.

arden [potion permit]

she's quiet, she keeps to herself, she doesn't say much. Arden's not like this because of something that's happened to her, i think you could say; moreso, it's her line of work that made her like this. Arden tries to not get attached because she knows most people she deals with will only be in her life a short period of time. most people, not all of them.

honorable mentions: rhea dawn, spencer clarke, thalia, katherine boyer, ines cousland, nadine hayek

– dumbest (affectionate) oc.

veris lavellan [dragon age: inquisition]

Veris Rila, my first inquisitor, one of the dimmest lightbulbs in my chandler but she still shines. she is the very definition of 'just trying her best.' she's smart in her own way, one that does not make sense to anyone but herself. she's also impulsive, almost out of spite at this point.

honorable mentions: daniel seed, margo seed, blythe trevelyan, silas kane

– smartest oc.

gwen khoury [uncharted]

Dr. Gwendolyn Mila Khoury, Ph.D. Gwen learns shit just for the fun of it honestly, and she will spout off if given the chance. she is incredibly, and sometimes annoyingly, curious. Gwen will pick up a new language or skill just to learn something new.

hanan shepard [mass effect]

another knowledge sponge, Hanan loves to learn about anything she can get her hands on. ship engineering, biotics, alien languages-- Hanan will find something new to learn whenever she can. and she will not hesitate to info dump on the nearest person.

andy kwan [tomb raider]

Andy! another incredibly bright mind. she's working on her masters in ecosystems ecology for much of the tomb raider shenanigans, and she uses these trips for her own personal research. she's not quite on the 'learning something new just for shits and gigs,' but that does not stop her from constantly taking in some knowledge somehow

honorable mentions: amara owens, ethan moreno, taylor ross, spencer clarke, emily parker, iseul jeong, daphne palmer, nadine hayek, alicia rossi, jules rossi, blake liu, arden

– oc you'd be friends with irl.

spencer clarke [the quarry]

we're ending where we started. i put spence in this category because i really do mean it when i said she is me. her behavior and personality is so similar to my own. she's another oc that is really someone i wish i could be like.

honorable mentions: daniel seed, taylor ross, ethan moreno, veris lavellan, blythe trevelyan, amara owens, blake liu, kennedy ryder, bea morgan

#im not tagging all of them if you want to know more than check out my oc page!#long post #tag game

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fixfoxnox · 1 year

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Bro just wanted to smash and rule the world go figure

I AM JOKING BTW, I absolutely love how you write Makarov, he is so messed up Canon Makarov is extremely messed up; have yall seen the list of crimes he committed IT WAS A WHOLE ESSAY, so no, i will not hear anyone out if someone just as mention Makarov and the word “kinda” in the same sentence

Im curious though (and this is in terms of writing not by your charcter/personality!!) was the plane scene supposed to go in this kinda direction cause I remember reading the scene after they touched down and Makarov mentioned that Roach couldn’t walk (??) like has Makarov in your own vision ever thought of just being a huge A-hole and traumatising dear ol bug here early on in the story, Of course you don’t have to answer if this goes beyond your boundaries tho

Okay but Makarov is kinda 👀👀/j

As for your question, I've actually had a few people question this in the comments before along with a couple of people who definitely thought that was what I was implying in that scene, so let's talk about it.

Warnings ahead for discussion of dub-con and non-con:

So I would like to just start off by saying that when I initially introduced Makarov, I never even intended to take is as far as I did. Like the seduction scene was never even supposed to happen. All of that was meant to be left up to interpretation.

However, when I first started writing Makarov in his first scene, I was really struggling because thats just the kind of villain that he felt like to me? Like I think I've mentioned it before in one of the posts about him, but I do think that if the cod fandom had really blown up like it has back when MW2 and MW3 came out, there would be a shit ton of stuff about Makarov fanfic wise.

Like, in Canon, he's very smooth and calculated. Whenever we hear him speak, he is calm and collected. Even at the end of MW3, when his entire plan has failed and fallen through, he's still so calm. He still finds it in himself to calmly taunt Price about Soap's death. Compare this also with Allen's death where Makarov makes a point to pull him in close before shooting him, and my mind was going one direction. Smooth villain who plays psychological games.

So the way that manifested in that first scene with Roach, was through the touching. He's showing Roach that he's in control. And that was all the touching was really meant to be, was showing control.

Then we get to the church scene, the infamous church scene. While I was writing this, I kinda got hit hard with the question of, "why is Makarov keeping Roach alive?"

Like I'd considered the question briefly in earlier chapters, but I was never forced to actually face it until I got to that chapter. Because I wanted to write this torture scene. I could see it so vividly in my head. But why would Makarov torture this guy? Why would he keep Roach alive.

At this point I considered the sort of obsessive love thing and I decided "okay, its not going to be just up for interpretation anymore. Its going to be explicit." So I wrote the church scene and I kept writing their interactions with the thought that I was never going to take it further. Makarov was never actually going to get his hands on Roach in that way.

So when I wrote the plane scene, I actually did not have any form of S/A in my mind at all. I wanted to press Makarov's touchieness. I wanted to press his obsession/love for Roach. But that was it and I wrote it without S/A in mind.

Roach not being able to walk was supposed to imply that it wasn't just that one moment of Makarov hurting him that we saw, but rather that Makarov had essentially tortured him on the plane ride back. It actually wasn't until I had people comment on it that I realized it could be perceived that way. And I am all up for interpretation, so if someone believed that that happened, then that's for them to decide. However it was never intended to be that way.

Then we got to the next chapter. To the seduction scene. I cannot tell you where the idea for this chapter came from. All that I know is that I had two scenes in mind. One where Roach has a dream about his Past! Simon where Past! Simon tells him how seductive he is without even trying. And another scene where Roach quotes Makarov's words from the plane back to him.

I actually struggled with this chapter a lot. While writing it came rather easy to me, I'm a very anxious person and I knew that this was taking a step further than I had intended to go with the fic. I kept trying to justify it in my mind of like "oh its going to be implied but nothing will actually happen!"

Eventually I just had to sit down with myself and go, "Its my fic, if people don't like it, they don't have to read. This is how the story has naturally progressed. You know that you won't take it further than this."

So in the initial idea for this chapter and the following ones, it was going to be that more intimate touches were the extent of what happened.

That went down the drain very heavily with Chapter 19.

When I started writing that scene at the end with Makarov, it actually took me much longer than it should have to write. I had the ideas, I knew I wanted it to be painful, but I kept stopping because I felt like I was taking things too far. Again, I'm a very anxious person, I never intended the fic to go down this path.

This was the only chapter in which I genuinely considered writing out a scene of explicit S/A. It would have been closer to the end. Its mentioned during one of the last sections that Makarov shoves his hand under Roach's shirt and into his pants to dig into his wounds. I'd considered, at this moment, having Makarov forcefully kiss Roach and literally grab him while muttering about what his plans were for him when he got him alone.

I did genuinely consider it. I even came here to post about whether or not I should do it or not. But the second that someone commented mentioning it, I decided that I didn't want to do that. I did not want to take things that far.

What we have instead, and the absolute farthest that I've been willing to take it is dub-con. Because while Roach "consented" to Makarov's affections, the truth is that he was only doing it to survive.

This is something that has actually been coming up in some of the chapters I'm writing now. And even this is causing Roach a lot of distress and self-hatred, I just don't think I would have been able to write a scene with explicit S/A or even implied that it happened and be able to properly handle the fall out of it.

That all being said, I do think Makarov definitely thought about Roach a lot and definitely fantasized about him. But I do think, with the way I wrote him, it wouldn't have made sense in the end for him to actually S/A Roach or even think about it.

You'll notice in his POV that I wrote, while he does fantasize about Roach a lot (like a lot, man is so horny for Roach) he always stops himself and controls himself. He tends to mention that he "needs to take things slow." This is his mind set even to the point that he doesn't take things further even after Roach has given "consent."

This is because his end goal is to have Roach completely. He wants Roach to be dependent on him. He wants Roach to love him. He's smart. He knows that if he does something like that, its going to make turning Roach to his side much harder. Its why he doesn't even kiss Roach until he essentially gets permission at the end.

He is really evil. He is really horny for Roach. But he also is very smart and knows people. He isn't going to push things too for too quickly. The only time he even gets close to that is during his last chapter, when he gets so angry/possessive/stressed that he allows himself to break Roach down physically. (However, again you may notice that even in that scene he doesn't start attacking until Roach does. Most of the time he wants Roach to make the first move so that he's somewhat justified in hurting him.)

This was kinda a long winded response lol, but I did want to talk about it and I do think it gives a mit more insight into my thought process/Makarov's character.

#thoughts with luke #you asked luke #something in the orange #vladimir makarov

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hwrryscherry · 3 years

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The one where Harry & Model Y/N do a interview together.

NOT MY GIF

blurb: Harry and Model Y/N do their first ever interview together on the Late Late Show with James Corden and they play "Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts".

word count: 2.12K

I loved this concept SO much!!! And I really hope you guys like it too. Thank you anon for requesting this😍😍😍

The Late Late Show with James Corden producers called you and Harry trying to book you both to be on the show and to an interview together. You have to admit it that you got nervous; of course you had been through tons of interviews before but to do a double interview with Harry is a whole new level. You both are really private about your relationship and it's kinda rare to actually see one of you talking details of it, and it also had something to do about the larries fans. You were really concerned about them, you never want to disrespect them or even upset them in some way, even though some of them made fun of your relationship, they're still Harry's fans and you respect all of his fans without exception. But anyway, after a lot of talking between your management and between both of you too, you agreed to go and also felt a lot more comfortable because it was going to be with James, that was already friends of you guys.

It was set up that you both will be playing a game in the show called ''Spill your guts or fill your guts'', which actually worried you a little because of the hard questions but besides that, you were really calm, Harry made you calm. He was so great at calming you, I think it's the fact that those past 2 years you both had been through ups and downs and you got quite great at calming each other. And by the way, your man looked SO nice! You were kinda matching actually, as you both were wearing grey. You were in a grey suit and Harry had a grey sweater on looking stunning.

James called both of you on stage and you entered smiling and waving to the crowd as yoi walked towards James's direction. Harry gave him a big hug and you followed by hugging James as well. You both sat in the couch besides James's desk as the crowd got more silenced.

— It's so great to have you here! — James said to you both as he sat down on his chair — Honestly, I really thought you wouldn't accept!

— Oh, Y/N didn't want to! — Harry said quickly making you give him a slightly slap on his arm — Sorry, we had to discuss it! — Harry corrected himself making the crowd and James laugh.

— I never said I didn't want to! I said WE HAD to discuss it! — You corrected him making an emphasis on the ''we had''.

— Alright that's acceptable! Anyway — James looked at the papers on his hand and then back at you — How are you guys doing? I feel like I haven't seen you both in months because you always disappear!

— We've been good! — Harry said while playing with his rings in his hand. You crossed your legs as James stared at you. You couldn't help but start laughing a little because he was fixedly looking at you at that made you a little nervous!

— Yeah, we're pretty good! It's been a nice year! — You answered honestly — And we don't disappear! We just... I mean, I feel like there are times when we actually kinda get away from the world a bit. I truly don't know why. We just focus on spending some quality time together as a couple because we both work so much and we spend a lot of time traveling so it's something really important to keep the relationship stable. And we do it specially in the begging of the year, because that's when we celebrate our anniversary, so I guess it's just a habit that we have to disconnect and enjoy our time together so we can just focus on us and what we expect from the relationship on the following year. And it's the best time to do it because the holidays just happened and he have a little no work time to really be just us.

— Oh right! And how long have you been together by the way? — James asked, he actually knew the answer of that because you're all pretty great friends and you and Harry actually hangs out a lot with James and his wife.

— It's been two years now! — You answered.

— Yeah, it's been a bit now! — Harry completed.

— Oh so, you both weren't dating on the VS Show 2017? Because there were a lot of rumors by the end of the show! — James asked.

— We were not! We actually met at the VS, we took a long time to actually start dating, we started dating in early january 2018, I guess — Harry answered as he slided his hand on his perfectly styled hair.

— Oh, I see... And do you guys plan the future? — James asked making you and Harry exchange looks while smiling at each other — Oh, I like that look... Marriage? Kids? We ALL want to know!

— I mean... yeah! It's almost impossible to be this long in a relationship and not plan it! — Harry said — And I feel like we enjoy a lot of the time we spent together, it's been quite a journey and it's nice to have someone that you really care about and you want to have a future with by your side at some of the most important moments of your life, but I think we both agree that we still have a lot of things to experience before taking this step, you know, the marriage step. But yeah, I can't wait for a time when this is going to be a thing for us! I'd marry her in a heart beat and she knows it! — Harry said. He looked focused while talking but as soon as he felt your gaze towards him, he blushed and started smiling like a little boy who just got his favorite candy.

— So, you won't pop the question anytime soon? — James asked teasing Harry about his reaction over your gaze. As James were close friends with you guys, he knew how much you loved each other and actually everyone could see how Harry kisses the floor you walk by. He is head over heels for you and he melted anytime your hand touched him and anytime you smiled or even looked at him. Everyone who was close to you guys would know that you're the one for him and he's the one for him.

— I mean... — Harry had a cheeky smile on his lips — Who knows.. The year is just starting, 2020 it's a new year!

— And what's your thoughts on that, Y/N? — James asked looking at your blushed and smiley face.

— I agree with whatever he said! I was actually too distracted admiring his beauty to hear what he said. — You joked making Harry blush even more. You were head over heels about his man and this man only, totally in love with him.

— Alright so, on the next block we'll "Spill your guts or fill your guts'' where you'll see Harry Styles and Y/N Y/L/N answering the most crazy questions! We'll be right back! — James said to the camera that stopped filming immediately. You both stand up and walked with James to the other spot in the stage where the game was set up. It was a big rounded table with some of the most disgusting things you've ever saw and smelled. Apparently James wasn't going to play with both of you, but you could also see there was bull penis, cod sperm, chocolate cockroaches, hot sauce, 1.000 year old eggnod and banana smoothie in the table. But anyway, you just chatted with Harry and James until it was time to start shooting again.

— So, we're back, and we're about to start playing ''Spill your guts or fill your guts''. — Harry said as the camera started filming again — And apparently, I'm going to host this part, unless you want to? — Harry asked looking at you across the table.

— No, you can do it! — You answered as you sat straight in the chair looking at the things in the table — I'm nervous I've never done this before.

— Oh yeah, you've never done it! Well that's exciting! — Harry said before letting a small evil laugh leave his lips making you laugh as well and roll your eyes — Ladies first! — Harry said and you took a deep breath before taking a paper card in your hands. — So what am I eating? — Harry said as you both looked to the table.

— I guess...hum.. you can stay with the hot sauce! — You said cheeky smiling at him spinning the table to put the hot sauce in front of him.

— You know how much I hate hot sauce! — Harry said frustated while looking at the sauce.

— I know! — You said right before you whispered a low ''oh god'' before reading the paper — I love this! — You said laughing a little — Alright, Harry explain to the world the meaning of ''Watermelon Sugar'' — You said laughing as you watched Harry's face goes red when he listens to what you asked.

— Well... — He took a deep breath before laughing a little. He's face went completly red as he thought of explaining it — I guess it's about, hum.. Giving pleasure...to your significant other...hm.. by eating a watermelon! — He said pausing a little containing his laugh. Of course everyone knew the real meaning of Watermelon Sugar but neither of you had ever actually defined it with the exact words about the meaning.

— Alright! That was good!...Very convincing! — You looked at him with a slightly mocking expression as you saw Harry trying to decide on what he's gonna make you try.

— Let's go with the banana smoothie! — Harry said with a huge malicious smile on his lips.

— No fucking way! — You said immediately. Harry knew how much you hated banana, actually you'd rather die than eating a banana, so he just laughs — Harry...

— It's a game! You gave me the hot sauce, I'll give you the banana smoothie! — He said and you tried your best to do your pity face, even with the doggy eyes basically begging for him to chose everything else except the banana smoothie. — Alright, alright — Harry sighed making you smile as he now changed the banana smoothie to the bull penis. It was bad, but way better than banana. Harry got a paper card and laughed a little when he read what was written — You're one of the most notable supermodels on your generation and also are friends with some of the greatest models from your time. Rate Kendall, Gigi and Bella to best to the worst catwalks.

— Oh god! — You covered your face with your hands making Harry laughs out loud. You looked at the bull penis quietly and then at Harry again — I feel like I could answer, right?

— I feel like I could answer! — Harry completed putting an emphasis on the ''I could'' making you laugh and then slide your right hand through your hair.

— We've talked about this before, I know, but it was a healthy gossip between a couple... — You said staring at Harry's face thinking — I'd say... — You started but then stopped as the crowd cheered a bit.

— Just eat the penis! — Harry says quickly after letting out a long breath and making you laugh a little by the controversing of the words of your easily jealous boyfriend.

— If I might say, I'm very surprised you're asking me to eat another penis! — You answered quickly seeing Harry's eyes widen at you as he had a big smile on his face.

— I mean, it's just bull penis! — He said and you just agreed looking at the penis again — I mean, I could help you answer this.. Blink twice if the worst one is...

— I'M EATING THE PENIS! — You shouted getting one of them in your hand and just throwing it in your mouth chewing it slowing with a very ugly face because you knew Harry would actually say it, he can be the next gossip girl. — This is disgusting! This is probably the worst thing I've ever putted on my mouth.

— That's funny I thought you liked a penis in your mouth! — Harry said lowly making you literally choke and spit the bull penis in the small bucket you had in your hand and then drinking water as you tried to contain your laugh — But I mean, how much horrible things have you ever put on your mouth, right?

— That's not the point! Focus on the game! — You said as you looked through the rest of the things in the table — As I ate the penis, I'll give you the cod sperm so we can match later. — You said positioning the cod sperm in front of him — Actually, how did they got the sperm out of the cod? — You asked and Harry laugh looking at it as he said he had no idea. You picked another paper card and let out a loud laugh — I LOVE this game! Between Niall, Louis, Liam and Zayn, rank their solo careers to best to... — You laugh at the exact moment Harry covered his forehead with his head. He got the napkin beside him and wrapped it around his neck, then he got the fork with the cod sperm and stared at it quietly.

— Just put it in your mouth and swallow. Don't look at it! — You said innocently making the crowd laugh and Harry to look at you with a mocking expression while trying to contain his smile.

— Right, because ''don't look at it, just swallow'' fixes everything. What are you gonna tell me now? Should I spit or should I swallow? — Harry joked making you laugh realizing what you actually said.

— I mean, I'd swallow it! — You said joking back while holding back your laugh. Even though you were actually shy, you and Harry were used to always making sexual jokes so it was normal to you, and very funny too as you'd do it all the time. But Harry did as you said and threw it in his mouth, but he spit on the bucket beside him. It was your time again and he chose the chocolate Cockroaches and read the last question.

— Who is the most surprising celeb to ever slide into your DMs? — Harry asked making you smile thinking if you should tell it or not even though you knew exactly who it was and so did Harry. You'd always tell each other when someone flirted with you because this helped a lot to deal with all the being extremaly jealous story — WHO IS HE? — Harry joked making you let out a laugh.

— I mean.. I'd say you, for sure! I was really surprised! — You said making him smile because even though he knew you were very excited when he answered your DM, he was definetly not the most surprising celeb to slide into your DMS but he accepted the answer either way.

— Alright, this was fun! — Harry said finishing the game and then the camera came back to James and the new guest of the show.

You and Harry left the studio of The Late Late Show in NYC and grabbed dinner at a french restaurant in the city exactly like you both said you'd do in the end of the night. In the restaurant, you basically talked about the game and how fun it was to do this together and how much you loved going through new experiences together and how much you wanted to see what the future will bring to both of you, because even though the future was uncertain, you both had 100% of certain you wanted to spend it together.

#hwrryscherry #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry and y/n #harry styles and y/n #harry x reader #HARRYxMODELY/N

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hazel-light · 3 years

Text

Chapter Word Count: ~7,400

Total Fic Word Count: ~30,000

Genre: (Wedding) Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers, lots of bed sharing and every self indulgent fluffy trope possible.

Warnings: None? Lots of fluff? Occasional cussing? Some suggestive themes, moments, and jokes I guess. No smut or anything!

Disclaimer: I am not Daniel Sharman, and I do not pretend to know how he would act, speak, etc. This is fiction okay, there’s a lot of creative license, and potential to be OOC. Ricky isn’t mentioned because I started writing this before we knew he existed, so apologies for that. Also, if you’re DShar himself, please do us both a favor and don’t read this, okay???? Same if you know him 🙈

Title taken from the song Yellow Lights by Harry Hudson which suits this story quite a bit!

A/N: You thought I'd skip all the possibilities and tropes that come with the holidays?! Of course not. This is the final part to Yellow Lights. Thank you all for making my return to writing and posting so wonderful. I am so, so, grateful. I hope the ending lives up to your expectations. <3

The next month and a half passes by uneventfully. I try not to spend all of my time thinking about how great Rachel's wedding was, and equally try to ignore the wistful feeling Henry’s wedding left me with. Having Daniel be my fake boyfriend in front of my family showed me everything that I’d ever wanted; someone who fit in seamlessly, who loved me for me, with the perfect balance of romance and friendship. Whatever crush I had successfully buried when Daniel and I first met is now achingly hard to avoid. I curse my active imagination and optimism for letting me indulge in the moments of pretend, leaning too comfortably into our façade.

As a result, I don’t talk to Daniel much. He is busy finishing filming his project in London, and I try to focus on my life in LA. I’ve become paranoid that every text I send him is one too many, too annoying, or too bothersome. I figure I can reassess things when Daniel comes home from filming, and try to find my footing in our friendship again.

This seems like a solid plan until I’m on Zoom with my family for Thanksgiving. Since I’ve already flown back once this year for the wedding, and I’m planning to fly back again next month for Christmas, staying put for Thanksgiving was the economical choice. The call is mostly uneventful until the subject of Daniel comes up.

“Where’s that boy?” Aunt Judith crows from her spot at the dining table.

“Hmm?” I ask.

“She means Daniel.” Ryan rolls his eyes, bringing the iPad closer to her.

“Oh! Right.” I try to recover. “He’s still away filming his new project, actually, but I was able to fly out to see him at the end of September for another wedding, actually.”

Aunt Judith frowns. “That’s a long time to not see someone that handsome—” I start to laugh, “Are you sure he’s not cheating on you?”

Oh shit. It’s in this moment that I realize Daniel and I had never “broken up” as far as my family knows. I hear the rest of my family start sputtering in the background.

“Aunt Judith— you can’t just—”

“That’s awful, I—”

“It is kind of a long time, huh?—”

I try to keep a straight face. “Guys! It’s okay. He’s an actor, it comes with the territory. I expected this.”

“So you aren’t sure that he’s not cheating on you?” Ryan frowns.

“That isn’t what I meant, Ry. Daniel and I are fine. We’re really good, actually.”

“Well I certainly hope you’ll be bringing him home for Christmas then.” Aunt Judith huffs.

“It would be nice to see him,” Rachel speaks up for the first time, and her husband Nick nods. “I didn’t get to talk to him a whole lot at the wedding.”

I clear my throat, my mind racing. “You know, we haven’t actually talked about what we’re doing for Christmas yet; I’ll have to see what he’s doing— if he’s going to spend it with his family.”

“But you’re still coming home,” Ryan states.

“Yes, I am still coming home, no matter what.”

Ryan and Rachel’s mom, my auntie Kim speaks up. “I think it’s pretty common for a boyfriend to defer to his girlfriend’s family for the holidays. I mean, Ryan splits the day with Katharine of course, but Nick always came here with Rachel.”

“I hear you, Auntie Kim, but Daniel never gets to see his family so I’m not sure— all I’m saying is I’m not sure. He may very well come, and I will let you all know as soon as I know.” I smile tersely.

“Well hurry up, and find out,” Auntie Kim chastises. “Christmas is only a month away.”

When I hang up with them, it’s 7pm and I’m feeling antsy. How could I have forgotten that my entire family still thought Daniel and I were together? I’m not sure how to get out of this one. Tired of panicking alone in my head, I pick up my phone and dial Daniel before I can talk myself out of it. It rings and rings, and my anxiety that he won’t answer grows with each tone.

Eventually I hear rustling on the other line.

“Lauren?” Daniel’s voice crackles through the phone.

“Hi.”

“Are you alright?”

“What? Uh— yeah, I just needed to talk to you about something—” I glance at the time on my phone. “Oh god, no. What time is it there? I’m so sorry— I didn’t even stop to think about the time difference, I—”

I hear him suppress a yawn. “Lauren. It must be pretty important if you’re calling me AND rambling like this.”

“No, no, it can wait, I’m sorry— uh, go back to bed. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“Lauren,” he stops me softly and firmly. “Stop apologizing. What’s going on?”

I sit quietly, feeling like an absolute idiot.

“Lauren, come on. You can tell me.”

“I— we… we never broke up?”

He laughs. “Sorry, what?”

“We never broke up.”

“Am I still asleep, is this a dream?”

“My family still thinks we’re together and they asked me if you’re coming home for Christmas.”

We’re both quiet for a moment.

“Oh.” is all he says.

“I talked to them for Thanksgiving, and they were asking about you. I realized too late that they thought we were still together— because I never told them we broke up. I didn’t think it through this far.”

“Right, I didn’t either.”

My phone starts ringing, telling me Daniel’s trying to FaceTime me.

I accept, and I’m faced with a dark screen.

“Why are we FaceTiming?”

I hear a lamp click on and suddenly Daniel’s face is illuminated as he lays in bed, lines from his pillow still on his face.

“Figured we should at least be able to see each other if you’re going to break up with me in the middle of the night,” he teases.

I shake my head. “Not funny, this is serious, D.”

“I know, I know.”

“If I break up with you, they’re going to yell at me and tell me I’m a stupid idiot.”

Daniel laughs.

“And if you break up with me they’re going to hate you, which means they’ll hate that we managed to ‘stay friends.’ And if it’s mutual…..” I shake my head, thinking. “They’ll think we were lying.”

“Which we were.”

I sigh, “Which we were.”

“So,” Daniel pulls his blanket up higher. “What are our options here?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I called you.”

I watch him stare off into space and reminisce about when I got to see this sleepy Daniel firsthand in Cape Cod.

“I could come for Christmas…” he trails off and I frown.

“That seems like asking a lot. You’ve already given up a lot of your free time this year for me.”

He shrugs into his pillow. “Do you not want me to come for Christmas?”

I pause. “I mean, that isn’t really the issue here. You have to be tired of being in love with me by now.”

He laughs loudly — a stark contrast to the quiet of his room. “Yes, being in love with you is very exhausting.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“I’m kidding. Being in love with you is not exhausting. At all.”

I roll my eyes and say nothing. “I don’t think I can bear to break your family’s hearts at Christmas of all times.”

“Man of the year.” I drawl. “What are you supposed to be doing for Christmas? Going home?”

“No, usually I travel somewhere, but I hadn't decided yet.”

I hum in response.

“Kind of leaning towards traveling to Massachusetts now, if I’m honest.”

I look at him incredulously, only to see a playful grin on his face, but I know he’s serious.

“I’m not going to stop you if you really want to come. But I—” I swallow. “Eventually we’re going to need to plan for whatever happens after Christmas.”

He nods. “I know, we will. Let’s just enjoy Christmas together, first.”

I smile. “Okay. We can enjoy it. Together.”

He clears his throat. “I hope I’m not too rusty at this boyfriend performance, it’s been a few months.”

“Daniel Sharman has performance issues… I hope that doesn’t get out to the press.”

His eyes flash. “Bold, for you.”

I shrug. “You walked into that one, baby.”

“Well, you’re lucky you’re cute, darling.”

We look at each other for a moment, and I hope my eyes don’t give away how fond I am for this man who is willing to commit to fake-loving me, and putting up with my family, and who is setting the bar way too high for any actual real relationship I could hope for.

So much for reburying my feelings.

I break eye contact first. “I’ll let you get back to sleep. Sorry again for waking you up.”

“Do Not Disturb doesn’t apply to you, Lauren. Call any time.”

I smile softly. “Sweet dreams, I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight.”

—-

I’m standing in the Boston Logan airport waiting for international arrivals; specifically Daniel’s flight from London. According to the board, his flight landed 15 minutes ago, so he should be coming to the lobby any time now. I bounce on my feet, simultaneously eager and nervous to see Daniel for the first time since parting ways after Henry and Claire’s wedding.

Eventually I see the hat and sunglasses I recognize from a selfie he sent me earlier, and I can feel my heart race. I begin walking towards him, and feel my pace quicken as I get closer. Eventually he sees me too and he’s grinning at me with his signature toothy smile that I missed so much.

When we come into contact I don’t know what the appropriate response is, so I simply grin up at him.

“Hi,” I breathe.

“Hi,” he smiles back, and before I know it he’s closer than he was before and he’s ducking down to kiss me.

It surprises me but I respond quickly, leaning up to meet him.

When it’s over he pulls back just enough to nuzzle his nose with mine.

“Missed you,” he says softly.

“Missed you most.” I smile.

He stands up straight, adjusting his backpack on his shoulder, threading his other hand through mine.

I can’t see his eyes, but I assume he must be looking around when he speaks.

“Oh, are you by yourself?”

The question catches me off guard.

“Yeah— well, Ryan’s in the car, circling so he wouldn’t have to pay for parking,” I roll my eyes.

He nods, “Sorry, then—“ he makes an inconclusive gesture. “Suppose I didn’t need to kiss you quite yet.”

My stomach drops and I smile tightly, “That’s okay— better safe than sorry. I get it.”

He tugs on my hand pulling me into a hug.

“I did miss you, though.”

“And I still missed you most.” I tease.

Daniel shakes his head, but doesn’t argue, pulling back from me and reaching for his suitcase with his freehand.

“Let’s get this show on the road.”

—-

I bring Daniel upstairs to show him around, and so he can put his suitcase in my room.

“Welcome to my childhood bedroom,” I announce, opening the door and leading Daniel inside.

“Wow, where little Lauren grew up,” Daniel teases looking around. When I first arrived home yesterday, I was quick to tidy up, and hide anything that was too embarrassing, but my room is more or less the exact same as I had left it when I was 18 and moving to college.

I nod. “Yes, many secrets to my backstory can be discovered in here.”

Daniel laughs.

Ryan appears in my doorway leaning against the doorframe.

“Just so you know, Daniel, my bedroom is on the other side of this wall,” he nods to his right. “I can hear everything that happens in here. The walls are thin.”

I frown, blushing, “Ew, Ryan.”

Daniel just laughs and smirks, “Got it, bro.”

I look at him incredulously, “Don’t encourage him.”

The two share a look and shrug, seemingly equally enjoying my discomfort.

“Dinner’s ready!” Auntie Kim calls up to us.

I use that as my cue, brushing past both of them to go downstairs, leaving their laughter behind me.

—-

After Christmas Eve dinner, Katharine stops by and the four of us decide to watch the classic, How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I’m the last to arrive in the living room, and when I enter I immediately notice that Ryan is cuddled up with Katharine, and sprawled out over the entire couch, leaving Daniel sitting in the only other seat— the armchair.

I narrow my eyes at them, “Are you guys for real?”

Ryan looks at us and hums innocently, “What?”

“You took the entire couch.”

I see Katharine bite her lip in amusement, as Ryan shrugs.

“I assumed you guys would cuddle anyway. Can you not share the armchair?”

Daniel intervenes, “Of course we can. C’mon Laur.”

He pats his lap. I hesitate briefly before nestling into his lap, tucking my head into his neck.

“Am I crushing you?” I whisper.

“Not at all, you’re keeping me warm.”

I huff a laugh as he puts the blanket over us and Ryan starts the movie. The steady rise and fall of his chest brings me a sense of peace and I have to try not to fall asleep, especially when his fingers gently caress my arm and my leg where he’s holding me to him. I exhale, turning further into his neck and nuzzling into him.

“Tickles,” he breathes, just shy of a whisper.

“You smell good,” I tell him, letting my eyes close.

His chuckle reverberates through his body. “Thanks, darling.”

I feel my eyes shut and sleep take over. I start to come to when I hear the ending song come on, and it drifts into whatever dream I’m having.

“She asleep?” I hear Ryan ask.

“Think so,” Daniel answers.

“You need help waking her up?”

“No, I’ve got it, thanks though. Nice seeing you, Katharine.”

I hear footsteps retreat and feel a series of kisses pressed to my shoulder, as Daniel’s long fingers brush hair away from my face.

“Time to wake up, pretty girl. You can go back to sleep once we’re in your bed.”

I shake my head no, clinging to him tighter.

“Like this bed.” I murmur drowsily.

He laughs softly. “Promise we can cuddle there too.”

“Promise?” I ask, peeking one eye open.

“I promise,” he confirms, pressing one more kiss to my shoulder.

I lift my head to look at him, rubbing my eyes.

“There she is,” he smiles gently at me.

I smile back sleepily, the words coming out before I fully think them through.

“Wanna know a secret?”

“Tell me.”

I swallow, letting my gaze flicker down to his mouth for just a moment. “I like cuddling with you.”

“You do, huh?”

I nod.

“Well the feeling’s mutual. Let’s go upstairs and brush our teeth so we can cuddle more in your bed.”

“Okay,” I relent, getting off of him. He stands up after me and I instinctively lace my fingers with his, leading us back upstairs. When we’re brushed and changed, we settle ourselves in bed and I claim my spot tucked into his neck again.

“Sweet dreams,” he says, kissing the top of my head. I echo the sentiment and gently kiss the spot on his neck I’m closest to. His arms tighten around me and I’m falling asleep again.

—-

For once, I wake up before Daniel. He looks peaceful as he sleeps on his stomach, his arm across my waist, face half smushed into the pillow. I turn my head to look at the clock to see it’s about 9:30 and know the others will be waking up soon. I turn back to Daniel and card my fingers gently through his hair. Eventually his breathing changes and his eyes flutter open, still clouded with sleep.

“Merry Christmas,” I whisper, our faces just inches apart.

He pulls himself closer to me, nuzzling into my side and closing his eyes again. “Merry Christmas.”

It’s quiet for a moment before he speaks again, voice raspy with sleep. “Is everyone else awake?”

“No, I don’t think so. I haven’t heard anyone up and around… they might be soon. Usually we kind of wander downstairs around 10, and it’s just past 9:30.”

He hums in response.

“You can go back to sleep for a little while if you want,” I offer, still running my fingers through his hair. “I’ll wake you when it’s time to go downstairs.”

I start to think he’s drifted off to sleep again when he opens his eyes and looks at me. “No, I can get up. I want to give you your present.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “I told you not to get me anything; you coming here like this with me— twice— is more than enough.”

He rolls his eyes, detaching himself from me and rolling out of bed. “And look like the asshole who didn’t get his girlfriend anything for Christmas? Not a chance.”

I sit up. “We could’ve lied about it—”

“Lauren,” Daniel looks back at me exasperatedly, leaning over his suitcase. “It’s Christmas. Please just open your present.”

He pulls out a neatly wrapped, thin rectangle and places it in my lap, sitting next to me on the bed.

“Merry Christmas, Laur.”

I carefully unwrap the package to reveal a framed art print, with a circle of stars in the middle; underneath it says “The Night Everything Changed” with the coordinates of what I assume to be Los Angeles. I look up to him with soft eyes, and he gives a one shouldered shrug.

“Saw an ad for this online— where you can get the night sky documented of any night you want, anywhere you want. I thought it would be nice to commemorate this past year, for us…” he trails off, and I hug the frame to my chest.

“Daniel, I love it— Really, really love it. It’s so thoughtful.” I reach out and thread our fingers together. “I’m going to hang this in my room. I want it somewhere I see every day.”

He smiles and squeezes my hand. “I’m glad you like it. I actually wanted to talk to you about something— in relation to this. I—”

We’re interrupted by a light knocking on the door, and we both turn.

“Are you guys awake?” Ryan’s voice calls.

“Yeah, we’ll be out in a sec!” I answer.

I turn back to Daniel who squeezes my hand and moves to get up, but I pull him back.

“They can wait; this is special. I want to hear what you have to say.” I smile at him warmly, but he shakes his head, lifting the back of my hand to kiss it.

“It’s alright, I’d rather wait and tell you when we have more time to talk.”

I frown. “Promise me you won’t forget?”

He laughs. “Trust me, I won’t forget.”

He moves to stand, pulling me up with him to go downstairs, but I stop him, wrapping my arms around him tightly.

“Thank you, D. It means a lot to me.”

He returns my embrace, placing a kiss to the top of my head.

When we pull apart, I take his hand again. “Time for Christmas. Your present is under the tree, by the way.”

Daniel laughs. “A present double-standard.”

I shake my head and lead him out of the room.

—-

I think we’re done with presents when Ryan surprises me, coming over to Daniel and I on the loveseat.

“This is for both of you, kind of.” He hands me a thin, narrow gift.

Daniel looks up, surprised. “Thanks, man. That was thoughtful of you.”

He looks at me, silently asking, did you know about this?, and I shake my head no.

I unwrap the package to find a small frame, with a one hundred dollar bill matted in the middle. I look at Ryan and furrow my eyebrows.

“It's the hundred bucks I said I’d give you if you brought a real date to Rachel’s wedding. Seeing as the same guy is here for Christmas I figured you earned it. Thought I’d frame it— but you can take it out and spend it on a date or something, I don’t care.”

Auntie Kim squints. “Sorry, you told her what?”

I roll my eyes and try to avoid the way my stomach sinks at the reminder of how this all started.

I feel Daniel’s hand on my knee. “Clever, Ryan.”

I look over at him to see him flashing his polite interview smile, and I instantly know he knows exactly what I’m feeling.

Auntie Kim stands and stretches. “I don’t get it, but I’m going to go start breakfast. Your sister and Nick are picking up Judith soon and then they’re coming over. Katharine isn’t coming until dinner, right, Ryan?”

As Ryan confirms, she walks out of the room. Ryan turns back to us. “Mind if I shower first?”

I shake my head no, still lost in my thoughts, and I hear Daniel tell him to go ahead.

We’re left alone and I feel Daniel’s thumb brushing my knee.

“Thank you for my presents.”

“You’re welcome— I’m glad you like them; they don’t beat your present for me though.”

He rolls his eyes and we sit for a moment, the framed hundred dollar bill still in my hands.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

I look at him and shake my head. “I don’t know. Just an odd reminder of how this started, and that it’s going to have to end soon, I guess.”

Daniel frowns. “We haven’t really gotten to talk about that. Why don’t we table that for later— we still have a nice day ahead of us. Those are problems for tomorrow.”

I nod and smile at him, and he pulls me in to kiss my temple, and I hear the click of an iPhone camera. I look up to see Auntie Kim in the doorway.

“Sorry, I just wanted to tell you that the coffee’s on. It was too cute not to capture.”

Daniel stands up, offering me his hand. “Make sure you send me a copy. I’ll have to add it to my collection.”

I chuckle as I stand. “Let me guess; the album is called ‘Cute and Shit.’”

He grins. “How’d you know?”

—-

Christmas flies by. It’s filled with good food, wine, and everyone I love. It’s hours after dinner, and Auntie Kim has already driven Aunt Judith home before going to bed herself.

Ryan, Katharine, Daniel, and I are all still seated around the dining room table playing some kind of team card game, and everyone’s faces are red from laughter and wine.

I can’t help but watch Daniel, who is in some kind of hilarious argument with Ryan over some card he pulled. His eyes shine from the light of the chandelier, and his smile is big and bright, taking over his whole face.

It hits me in this moment that I’ve surpassed unlabeled romantic feelings; I am truly in love with this man. The realization consumes me until Katharine knocks her shoulder into mine giggling.

“Can you believe we love these idiots?”

“Sometimes it’s a hard pill to swallow,” I tease, giggling, catching Daniel’s eye mid-argument. He winks at me and I feel my already red cheeks flush even deeper.

“You two are so cute,” Katharine continues, watching our interaction. She lowers her voice, whispering to me behind her wine glass. “I was kind of worried that when you got a boyfriend he wouldn’t mesh well with our dynamic, ya know? But it kind of feels like Daniel’s always been here.”

Her words vocalize the thoughts that have been ringing in my head all day. “I know what you mean.”

Katharine dramatically clears her throat. “Are you two done? Is it our turn yet?”

—-

We part ways from Ryan and Katharine in the hallway, giggling and shushing each other in the wee hours of the morning. I shut my door behind me and waggle my eyebrows at Daniel.

“Uh oh, there’s trouble,” he teases. “Planning to seduce me?”

I shrug exaggeratedly and he laughs before looking around. “Fuck, where are my sweatpants?”

I giggle. “They’re literally right behind you on the chair.”

“Oh, thanks.” He grabs them before looking at me. “Can I change in here tonight?”

I flush. “Yeah, sure.”

After sharing a room together all this time, this is the first time we’ve changed in front of each other and the thought makes my skin tingle. I make my way over to my dresser, pulling out my own sleep shorts and t-shirt. I wiggle out of my pants and pull on my shorts, glancing over my shoulder to see Daniel, shirtless, adjusting his sweatpants on his hips. My throat runs dry, and I turn around to pull my own shirt over my head, reaching behind me to unclip my bra once it’s on. I bundle my discarded clothes in my hand, walking over to toss them in the hamper. I turn around to find Daniel already looking at me. He’s still shirtless and my eyes drift to his defined chest. He looks down as if noticing for the first time.

“It’s really, uh, hot in here.” He speaks again. “Would it bother you if I slept shirtless?”

I shake my head, mentally screaming. “No, it is warm,” I agree, reaching up to put my hair in a bun on top of my head.

He watches me intently, and I laugh self consciously. “What?”

“Nothing. Just thinking about how this was the best Christmas I’ve had in a while.”

My face lights up. “Really?”

“Yeah.” I see his grin quirk up, and know something else is coming. “I’d say it was almost perfect.”

“Oh?” I question, finishing my bun. “Go on.”

“We fit in a lot of classic traditions today, but we missed one that I’m quite fond of.”

I look at him, trying to think of what it could be, as he takes a step closer to me.

“There wasn’t any mistletoe.”

I swallow. “There wasn’t.” I pause, my mind racing. Before I can fully think it through I find myself offering, “But we could pretend?”

“Hmm?” He murmurs, taking a step closer to me so he’s right in front of me now. I know he’s giving me a chance to take it back, or make a joke; I’m nervous, but I don’t want to take it back. I just really want to kiss him.

“I’d really like it if you had a perfect Christmas.”

“And you?” He questions softly. “What would make it a perfect Christmas for you?”

Instead of answering him, I reach up on my tiptoes to kiss him for a moment, pulling back to look him in the eyes. His eyes meet mine in some unspoken understanding, and then he’s dipping down to kiss me again.

He kisses me softly, delicately, like all the kisses at the wedding. He pulls back briefly to look at me, as if he still expects me to change my mind. I kiss him again, wanting there to be no doubt in his mind, and he kisses me back with purpose and passion, and I’m caught off guard by the weight of it. I gasp, and Daniel uses this opportunity to deepen the kiss, pulling me closer. It reminds me of our very first kiss back on his couch. My arms move around his neck, pulling our bodies flush together.

Daniel pulls away first, but barely, breathing hard, kissing down from my jaw to my neck.

This is definitely new territory for us.

I move my hands to his hair, and he groans at the feeling. I can’t help myself as I sigh breathlessly, a shiver running down my back. He grins against my neck, his teeth scraping at my skin and I moan softly.

“Wait,” I say breathlessly, a thought somehow flitting through my mind. “Earlier, didn’t you say there was something else I should know about my present?”

“I can tell you tomorrow,” he murmurs into my neck between kisses. “It’s time for bed.” He tugs me down onto the bed so I’m underneath him, resuming his kisses on my neck.

“This doesn't seem like going to sleep to me,” I tease.

“It is, shhhh, you’re dreaming.”

“That I’d believe,” I laugh, and Daniel smirks, moving so we're eye to eye again.

“Dream about me often?”

“Shhh.” I pull him closer, turning his words back on him. “You’re dreaming, go back to bed.”

“Happily,” he murmurs, kissing me again.

I bring my hands down to his bare shoulders, feeling his warm, toned skin against my fingertips. I gently drag my nails down his chest to his stomach, and I feel his muscles clench at my touch. I can’t help but smirk to myself as he pulls away to rest his forehead on my shoulder, letting out a shuddering breath. I bring my nails around his back, tracing up his taut muscles and across his shoulder blades.

I feel one of his hands come down, pushing my shirt up, his mouth pressing hot kisses to my abdomen. His nose takes over pushing my shirt up, exploring every new inch revealed with his mouth, his hand now running over my thigh, fingers squeezing occasionally, slowly climbing higher. As his hand reaches the bottom of my shorts, he lightly tugs at the fabric. He pauses, his blue eyes tentatively peering up at me.

“Can I…?” He looks nervous, like I’ll reject him. As if I have ever rejected him, or could ever manage to deny him. I’m not even entirely sure what he’s asking but I find myself nodding quickly. As he goes to tug my shorts down we hear a bang on the wall we share with Ryan followed by a crash, a “Shhhh” and a “Shit.”

We both startle and look over toward the wall, before looking back at each other and laughing softly.

“Ugh, I don’t want to know,” I say, shaking my head.

“You probably, definitely don’t.” He smiles at me before pulling his hand off my shorts, and my shirt back down, letting his fingers trace along the waistband of my shorts before he clears his throat. “We should, uh, get some sleep.”

I blink at the abrupt change in mood before nodding awkwardly. “Okay, sure.”

He rolls off of me, and I reach over to shut the lamp off. I’m hesitant to cuddle up to him, unsure if what just happened changed something between us, but I’m relieved when I feel his arm wrap around me the way it always does. Neither of us say anything, and I try not to think about the last few minutes, the firmness of his body behind mine, or the way my body’s buzzing— closing my eyes to try and get some rest.

—-

The next two days with my family go pretty much the same way as Christmas did. Daniel gets on swimmingly with everyone, and my heart aches every time I realize that once the holidays are over, our charade is going to come to an end—a permanent end— this time. I try to ignore that thought and enjoy my time, basking in the coupley moments in front of my family, and leaning into every touch we share.

I never get a chance to ask about my Christmas present; the time never feels right, and Daniel doesn’t bring it up either. Nothing happens between us like Christmas night; when bedtime rolls around we change in the bathroom and go straight to bed. We cuddle, but there’s no after-dark kisses or wandering hands. I wonder if Daniel feels as self-conscious about that night as I do; if he does, he doesn’t show it.

—-

We’re in my room packing to go back to LA in an effort to try to beat the inevitable New Year’s rush at the airport.

“I need to find something to wrap this in so it doesn’t break in my luggage,” I frown, holding up Daniel’s present. “It’s my new prized possession— nothing can happen to it.”

Daniel looks over and laughs. “Want me to wrap it in my sweatpants? That's what I did on the way here.”

“Okay, thank you.” I pad across the floor and pass him the frame, our fingers brushing in the process.

“Of course.” His lips quirk up as he carefully arranges the frame in his suitcase.

A moment passes, and I wonder if now is a good time to ask about my present .

“Hey, I’ve been wanting to ask—“

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you—“

We both stop mid-sentence and Daniel laughs, “Sorry what were you saying?”

I shake my head, courage gone. “No— sorry, go ahead.”

He looks at me curiously but continues, “Henry texted me; he and Claire invited us to their New Year’s Eve party. They’re having it in LA this year.”

I quirk an eyebrow. “Us? They want me to go?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, Claire apparently requested your presence specifically.”

“Oh, that’s nice of her. I usually stay in for New Year’s.”

“It could be fun— if you aren’t sick of me yet,” Daniel teases.

“Ha!" I laugh, "If you aren’t sick of me yet, more like.” I shake my head. “And don’t mind sharing your friends with me.”

“They’re basically your friends now, too,” he argues.

“I’m not sure one wedding constitutes that, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

“You should come.”

I stop and look at him.

“I’ll call a car and pick you up on the way.”

When I hesitate, he softens his voice. “Please come.”

I swallow, “Okay.”

I’m not a big party person, but I also know I don’t have it in my heart to deny him, especially after everything he’s done for me.

He grins. “Really?”

I nod. “Yeah, I’ll go.”

“Cool, I’ll, uh, let them know we’re coming.”

I bite my lip to suppress my smile and start planning my outfit in my head.

—-

When we arrive at Claire and Henry’s house on New Year’s Eve, I try not to gawk at the size. It’s massive and sits high on one of the tallest hills in LA, away from the noise of the city.

The first person to spot us as we walk in is, unfortunately, Eleanor. I’d hoped she was in London, and away from us, but alas.

“Daniel!” she squeals, throwing her arms around him. “I was so hoping you’d be here.”

“Hi, El,” he placates her with a strained smile. “You remember Lauren?” He gestures back to me.

“Laura?” she asks, disinterested.

“Lauren,” I correct, forcing myself to smile. “Nice to see you again.”

“Eleanor,” Daniel intervenes. “Could you point us in the direction of Henry and Claire, perhaps?”

She frowns, but quickly covers it up. “They were in the kitchen last I checked— we have just got to catch up later.”

“We will!” He agrees graciously. “Let us get a drink, and I’m sure we'll have plenty of time to talk later.”

Daniel puts a hand on my back, guiding me forward and into another room, which turns out to be the kitchen. He’s immediately drawn into a series of bro hugs and handshakes by Henry and some of his other friends.

“Lauren! I’m so glad you came!” I turn to find Claire by a table of beverages.

“Claire! So nice to see you, thank you for inviting me.”

“Thank you for coming,” she says, pulling me into a quick hug. “I told Daniel he just had to bring you.”

I laugh. “He told me you were quite persistent— I usually have a low key New Year’s at home, but this is a fun change of pace.”

“Can I get you a drink?” She asks, already reaching for a bottle of champagne.

“Sure, thank you.” I catch Daniel’s eye across the room; he’s being clapped on the back and led out of the kitchen. I smile reassuringly, hoping to communicate that I’m fine here. He seems to understand, as he smiles back and nods before turning back to his friends.

Claire giggles, bringing my attention back to her.

“You look at him with such heart eyes, it’s cute.”

I try to keep my face from panicking. “Sorry?” She laughs like my reaction is the funniest thing in the world. “Oh don’t worry, he looks at you just the same, so you’re fine.”

I chuckle nervously. “I think maybe you’ve got the wrong impression—”

She shrugs like we’re talking about something commonplace, like the weather.

“Maybe, it’s possible... but I don’t think so. Now come! There’s some other girls I’d love for you to meet.”

—-

I spend a good portion of the night talking with Claire and her friends. They’re all very kind to me, but eventually I excuse myself to get some air out on the balcony.

I’m looking up at the sky — it’s dark, dotted with faint stars and a distant passing plane — when I hear somebody come out and join me. As they settle next to me against the railing I immediately know who it is just by how comfortable I feel.

“Whatcha doin out here, LaurLaur? The New Year’s only a few minutes away.”

I grin at him. “Just getting some air and admiring the stars. From up here you can actually see them.”

He hums, looking up with me.

“It reminds me of a certain piece of art a certain someone got me for Christmas.”

He chuckles. “I’m glad you like it so much.”

“It was very thoughtful…. I wonder if any of the stars are in the same places as they were that night.”

“Which night?”

“The night everything changed. Your birthday.”

Daniel leans against the railing facing me, and looks like he’s about to say something before he changes his mind.

Eventually he speaks again. “Things are going to change again soon, right? You said you’re sure about the break up?”

I swallow, scoffing my shoe against the balcony floor.

“I mean, we still need to figure it out, but you can’t keep fake dating me forever. That isn’t fair to you.”

He smiles wistfully. “It’s not like there was anyone else I was trying to date.”

“I’m a lucky girl,” I lament, and Daniel blushes and shakes his head. “It’s a real shame we’re over, though," I jest, trying to lighten the mood. "I’ve never gotten to kiss anyone at midnight.”

His eyebrows raise in surprise. “Never?”

“Nope,” I pop the p and look down at my feet.

“Well.” He clears his throat conspiratorially. “We can agree not to bring our fake relationship into the New Year if you want, but if the kiss starts before midnight, I think we’d get by on a technicality...”

I laugh. “You really want Eleanor to hate me, don’t you?”

He grins cheekily and shakes his head. “Nah, I think I saw her latched onto some other poor bugger inside. We’re in the clear.”

I roll my eyes, looking back up at the sky. I feel his finger trace my arm, gently using my elbow to turn my attention back towards him.

His voice is softer now, “It’s up to you, but there’s no one else I’d rather kiss at midnight.”

I look into his eyes and realize he’s being sincere. My heart’s beating out of my chest. Yes, I want to kiss him, but I want it to mean something. I keep giving in because I know one day this is all going to go away, and I’ll be left with just my memories and heartache.

He must see some hesitance in my eyes, because he’s taking a step back.

“If you don’t want to, it’s fine. Really.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “Not trying to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.”

I shake my head. “It’s not that I don’t want to, I just…” I trail off, looking over the balcony, trying to swallow my feelings, which have manifested as anxious tears in my eyes. I feel a tear escape, and I hastily reach up to wipe it away.

“Hey,” Daniel says gently. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t.” I let out a watery laugh. “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m…”

I feel his steady stare, and I come to terms with the fact that I’ve really gotten myself into a mess that I can’t just smooth over. I’m going to have to tell him.

I take a minute to compose myself, and Daniel stays quiet giving me time to put my words together as I look anywhere but at him.

“I do want to kiss you, D,” I start slowly, trying to keep my voice steady, “but I can’t if it’s just another part of our fake relationship.”

He tugs me closer by hand, gently, so I have no choice but to look at him. I swallow the lump in my throat. “I… know this wasn’t supposed to be real. But it has been, for me.”

He shakes his head and squeezes my hand. “So then stop trying to break up with me.”

I blink at him, and he continues.

“The night everything changed— your star map— I wasn’t referencing the story we told your family about my birthday.” Daniel looks at me long and hard like I’m missing something totally obvious. “It’s actually the stars from a night a month or so later.”

A month or two— Oh. OH.

“The night Ryan FaceTimed me?” I whisper, afraid to be wrong.

He takes my other hand in his, lacing our fingers together. “Listen— Fuck. I’m in love with you, Lauren.” He looks at me so intensely and my head is spinning. “I love you, and I’m in love with you.”

“What?” I ask dumbly.

He licks his lips. “A wise woman once said to me, you don’t confess to ‘kind of like someone’ when you’ve already been friends as long as we have.”

I stare at him for a second, my cheeks burning. “Well your friend sounds pretty smart.” I swallow. “Because I love you, too.”

He laughs, relief flooding his features. He pulls me to his chest, crushing me and squeezing the air out of my lungs. Eventually he pulls back, hands cupping my face.

He grins and shakes his head. “She is smart, so, so smart, but I don’t want to be her friend anymore.”

“What do you mean?” My brows furrow in confusion, worried that somehow I’ve misread this whole interaction, my relief quickly being replaced by panic.

“Well.” He steps forward, keeping our faces incredibly close. “I’m hoping she agrees to be my very real girlfriend— that is, if she doesn’t break up with me first.”

I hear everyone inside start the countdown to midnight. I’m still looking into Daniel’s eyes in disbelief, my hands clinging to the front of his shirt.

When the countdown hits one, I’ve finally found the words I want to say.

“Happy New Year, boyfriend.”

He’s grinning as he kisses me, and I am too. It’s not our most elegant kiss, a mess of teeth and giggles, and whispered “I love you”s. We never stray too far from each other’s lips, kissing again and again like we can’t get enough— and maybe we can’t.

Eventually, we calm down a bit, and when we kiss this time it’s all-consuming, sucking the air out of my lungs. It feels like my love is fizzling to the top of my skin, and I feel it. ‘It’ being every indescribable emotion in our kisses this past year, but this time I know what it is: true, unadulterated, uninhibited love. I am in love with my best friend, who is now my boyfriend, and I don’t care who knows it— as long as he does.

His fingers press bruisingly into my hips before he pulls back just enough to look at me.

“Can we go home?” He whispers sheepishly, brushing some hair out of my face tenderly. “I’m kind of tired of sharing you with the public.”

I huff a laugh. “I know exactly what you mean.” I lean forward to kiss him one last time before pulling back to lace our fingers together, squeezing tightly. “Please— take me home, D.”

I don’t have to tell him twice.

---

tagged: @rogershoe @heyrowena @yunsh-17 @trenko-heart @dylxnshxrmxn

#THE END!!!!#can you believe it?!#daniel sharman fluff #daniel sharman x oc #daniel sharman fanfiction #daniel sharman fanfic #daniel sharman fic #daniel sharman imagine #yellow lights

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b0osblog · 5 years

Text

Dialogue Prompts

Hey guys! I noticed a couple of other writers on tumblr doing this and I thought it would be a good way to start to think more creatively about my writing and get my into gear for this story I’m planning out. These are a combination of self thought and ideas taken from the internet. If you want you can reblog (I don’t think these are that good. but if you like them feel free to use them) This will be for any of thr following fandoms as I know them quite well:

- Modern warfare/CoD

- Harry Potter

- Marble hornets (non-romantic only)

- Castlevania

- The Witcher

- How To Train Your Dragon

I hope you enjoy this and having a good day/night!

Guidelines-

-send a scenario with any dialogue prompts and your favored ship

-I'm okay with most ships within these groups, if I am not comfortable, I'll try to do a compromise if possible or let you know if not.

-I am not doing explicit nsfw, but I can do some slightly spicy, but I am not comfortable going into deep detail or detailing a nsfw scene

Dialogue prompts-

1. "I saw everything in your eyes. The future and the past rolled into one. Do you think we could make it a reality?"

2. "I don't know what to say. I've just met you and already I feel like I've known you for years."

3. "What am I supposed to do?! I'm stuck here with a bone head like you who doesn't know what they are doing!" "Thats what you think."

4. "I don't think of you as protection more of a distraction" or "I don't see you as a distraction more of a protector."

5. "knock, knock." "Who's there? OW! You punched me in the face?!" "What? It seemed like a good idea at the time."

6. "Do you know who I am?" "Yep, just don't care."

7. "It's so late...you should rest." "one more piece to edit and I'll be with you." "I want cuddles though."

8. "I love you is over used." "Well then, you are the best thing to ever happen to me and I don't know what I would do without you."

9. "It's an awful idea to keep it as a pet!"

10. "Well I can scratch that off my bucket list." "Who puts getting arrested on their bucket list?!"

11. "Correct me if I'm wrong... but you didn't have wings yesterday, did you?"

12. "I want you to remember that you deserve this."

13. "Now look what you've done! You've ruined my suit! You can't just go around yanking on shirts and suits! It's not polite."

14. "It's a nice night tonight, what would you wish for if you saw a shooting star?"

15. "You look so unapproachable..." "Yet here you are."

16. "You're drunk aren't you?"

17. "Gah! Why are you so cold!"

18. "Please don't shut me out! You just let me into your lonely world!"

19. "Bow before me!" "...Nah."

20. "Is that My shirt?" "No..."

21. "Stop waking me up in the middle of the night, I have work ya know?"

22. "Any shorter and you'd probably fade out of existence."

23. "I always had this feeling....Like I was something more than this..."

24. "I want to show you something."

25. "What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic." "Apparently so..."

26. "Your voice is heaven.... Could... you sing me to me?"

27. "Good-" "Don't finish that sentence. It is not good. Today is not good."

28. "Why do you keep a stuffed toy in your desk?"

29. "You look so fucking hot in that outfit. If it weren't so crowded in here, I'd let you fuck me so hard."

30. "Uhhh...Do I want to know? or is better to be left clueless as to what I just saw?"

31. "Are you even listening?" "To be honest. I'm choosing not to listen."

32. "I've never seen someone tie their shoes so angrily."

33. "Oh so you think I'm cute when I'm angry? Well I'm about to get gorgeous!"

34. "Another nightmare? Come on, you can snuggle up to me, I know it calms you down."

35. "I've told you. I've become immune to those puppy-dog eyes."

36. "I may have accidentally adopted 3 {insert pet of choice}"

37. "Why are there post-it notes everywhere?! I just cleaned the last lot up!"

38. "Are you okay? You've been acting strange lately."

39. "Soulmate?! S/he ripped your heart out and stomped all over it expecting you to pick the pieces up and be fine."

40. "You said you knew how to drive this thing!"

41. "Who says I'm not good at dancing? I love dancing!" "Who knew someone could be so salty at their own birthday party."

42. "When you said you were done I thought that was the end for us."

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blahallic · 5 years

Text

I have to start a new memo because the other one is too long and the app keeps freezing. Well it's as though Marci and Marci fucking get at me and it seems like i'd probably have gone back to my kingdom if I had the choice. I wish I would have thought about egyptians being outside of themselves and shit. It really does fucking suck that it's this way. I waited for ya. I waited for ya. But now I don't. You didn't see it. I didn't see it. I didn't see it but now I do. I'll play your game. I'll play your game. No.

Get on your horse and be gone. I will not wait up for you anymore so you can ask me if something is wrong.

I remember being 17 and how I started being bi. Like, that shit was so fucking confusing to me. I did not want to like boys. When he comes out it's not a surprise. When he finds out the truths on his side.

Evil grounds. No, but i'm already there. Every night. What the hell happens when you arrive? I kind of dig this not having a job bullshit and just sleeping all I fucking want. It's such a good thing that the place I was working shut down like my Mustang. I wasn't into it at all. I can kinda be into working at Cheddars. Like, it's something to fucking do because i'm making money. I could deal with working at that place. Being in the lower dimensions and all. I guess I have to get used to having roommates and what not. It's just like a living room and a kitchen with 4 rooms. I just keep to myself really. It's like ratchet to me. I dunno. Sucks that i'm here for the next year. I'll be fine though. I'm glad my phone isn't freezing anymore. Close the door, not all the way. We don't understand, we don't understand. So don't you want to remind me, I don't know a thing. Can I stand in your light just for a while? Watching you. Watson you. Emma is like the cutest girl there ever was. Same with Luna. I have always loved Emma. I should have known that liking someone that much kinda means you can see them. I had it out for her for the longest time. She was always around when my cancer first started. I would talk and sing to her a bunch. Can I stand in your light just for a while? Watson you. Watson you. I miss my BMW. I wish I could have figured out how to keep it and have driven to dad's car in it. Dunno how that would work or how I would have had the capacity to find the place. Probabaly not. I would have to just find myself there. I was just sitting upstairs on the computer or whatever. As far as I remember. Emma was in a black dress on my dashboard. It was quite appropriate. Like, it matched dad and his appearance. It showed up in my hood too. I remember eating McDonalds and paddle shifting or whatever. That only happened once. I wonder how much Cole was into his paddles. I remember there being a blk too. And finding all that cash and a pair of Bans was also sweet. I was like asking people for gas when my glovebox had cash in it the whole time. Kinda weird.

Decide my past. Define my life. Don't ask questions cause I don't know why. I really don't get all of this fucking trouble bullshit. It doesn't really make any sense. It has me wanting my sun like desperately. I could use that and shit. Like, a lot. Even though it's not permenant. God this fucking sucks. I want to be able to chill with pyri on with my fucking people. I can't stand any of them though so no thanks. And to top it off I might not like pyramids? Because I lost a folds contest. Whatever that fucking means. I wish black and orange had my back. I mean, they were kinda at my funeral. I don't get how you notice a ring in my hair but not that I needed a sun. You were kinda a strange string too. Like, your string was strange. You looked strange and that's just what I fucking got from that shit. I wanted you making out with your friend and you failed to notice that too. I wish I would have had the capacity to just tell you or your leader that I need dad's car back and that someone needs to harp airport. So Julian was Todd and I get off on that like a lot. Juliet was Todd's girl.

Alice was fucking spout when she was about for me with Taylor. Shutter making is where it's at to me. I hope I feel like this until I catch some shuteye. I want to beat Ocorana Of Time in Cara's apartment. Again, this blows. It's just that if it's generalized and if people fucking talk and get with it then I want some attention from someone. Like to actually talk to someone about what is going on would help me out a lot. I still don't understand much of this. Playing ellipsis machine over Sonny Moore would be crazy too. Is Nik crazy? Yeaaahhh. Terror shadows. The barrier between who I am and who I want to be. Note to self, I miss you terribly. This is what we call a tradgedy. Come back to, come back to me, to me. And i'm sick of this scene. I need a break from you tank. I can feel my mind wandering again. And to where I don't know. Will I ever get home. Two roads, split up from here. And my life goes running. Who I am and who I want to be. Hurts blood. I feel so close and yet i'm yet so far. Hurts blood. I feel so close, and yet i'm yet so far!

I miss BMW days. Like having cash, dressing fucking nice and having a cool watch and a grip of jewel. I liked my box of cds. That car was quick too. I outran a cop on accident. Nothing I would ever be capable of doing on purpose. Just a coincidence I guess. What I thought was a certainty. Has left me. Spinning in circles again. It seems to me that you're not happy. Like you used to be. And now there's more green eggs and you'll never ever go away. And now there's more green eggs and you'll never ever go away. Is buried by my rusty eye and I can't see. No I can't breathe.

So I wonder why my dad doesn't see that i'm someone that gets married. I would never choose to be single here. That's why this fucking sucks. Like, hard. Wish I could just jump back to my dimension change. Never and not even really something to think about. I wonder what shorts is up to. And I wonder how The Curry Campbell is. Tut and I discussed The Curry Campbell. This paper into fire. Into fire. Into this fire. Yeah! This paper, into fire. And throw me with it, just throw me with it. I wish I could go to the club. Last time I was there I almost spent $100. I wanna dance with a girl. I remember a girl that was my sister in cancer world gave me a beaded bracelet that said dance. I kept it for some time. I had it with me when I took off in dad's car. I wanted to see Tyler too. Cole said he smoked him out with some fire. What a meet that could have been. Weaving The Values.

Sailing alone around the room. With no direction to go. Sailing alone around the room. Sailing alone around the room! I am not sex here. And I guess I can get off some on that simple fact. I don't like that Lesley up and yelled at my ass. Not your fucking place bitch. Why'd you fucking apologize? You didn't bleed on my shirt fuck. I wouldn't have really slept with you unless it was Hallowed either. Anyway...I should have fought for sorry ass boyfriend Lesley.

My phone is rather close to dying. It's kind of a piece of shit. Like a picchan boy would say. I'm glad that that kid had my back like he did. Dunno. That really means a lot to me. And I guess I wish I had had the dimension to answer your question Ciara. It didn't work that way though and it's no reason to put someone off. Especially after what those people got at me with. Sorry, but that shit wouldn't have done anything. Too fucking evil. I guess you can choke on it. Or whatever. The whole friend bit with Nolan. I don't understand what that was. Like, cancer or something. Who knows what that was. I know I don't. With no direction to go. So keep me alive. So keep me alive.

I wonder what else there is. Cancer pyri and whatnot. I like my parking garage mask. And I liked gaining ounce with Kyle turned on by mask. I also like that Sam caught me a worm. And I really liked her kisses. I remember kissing you and stuff. And taking you into a garage with a car parked in it for us to have our way with eachother. I need out of all of this. That'd be fucking crazy. I wish my phone wasn't gay. I want a One. And fucking torrent. I need a Playstation Plus account so that I can COD myself. I miss Madi. I want to see you. You dig Halloween like I do. I wonder if we ate food together. Probably not. I doubt I ordered your ass a pizza. Wonder how I even got your number. I mean Cara wouldn't really have given it to me. I wonder if there was a squirtle in Cara's apartment. Like in 2D or something. And I wonder what Pokemon I would have chosen for my rearview mirror. I wish I knew. I mean if there was a Squirtle that's probably what I would have got. There wouldn't have been sunglasses though and this i'm sure of. I want a Pocket Monster card collection like Cole. He had decks to play the Pokemon Trading Card game with Cara. There's an astral of that and shit. There's another one of me proposing and of us getting married. It's weird that you would have only liked me half as much as all of the other girls until marraige. Kinda goes with your brat bit. And how you were into that shit. A remour. Like, cutting underneath heed is not something to do to me. It just doesn't make any sense. Like, at all. Kind of puts me up to what everyone else is doing. Bleeding here. I guess just one cut is what i'm into right now. I need a fucking COD habit. Like, a lot. Rather fucking badly. That's kind of a gash below my wrist. I'm kind of writing while bleeding. What kind of an asshole drives a lotus anyway? I used to call out at every Audi I ever saw a lotus. I remember those days. Comedown Machine sure has been out for a while. I'll be born again. Eli's on the phone. He cheats his clone. You'll never believe me until you're on your own.

I can dig that I picked up an ice habit. It really is something to do to me. I like it, just not a lot. I want my pyri shut down. This is stupid. I feel like if an egyptian were to time travel. Like just a joe or something. That they would get with everyone else and disregard my ass as their king and what not. Whatever. That's not really a cool thing to realize and such. Marci isn't around anymore. She took off. Scardy cat. Again, whatever. So it's cool that humans bring back dinosaurs. And it's strange how a meteor took them out when humans were about back then. It's kinda hard to believe that it was a meteor and such for some reason. It's also neat that i'm stamped with Gemini. It's cool that Emma would have noticed. And how it would have been something that doesn't exist yet with it still being tattooed on my wrist. Cara would have noticed the snake in my hair. I wish I still had my dreads. I liked that look. It seemed that there wasn't anything else to do with it. I guess i'll deal with just having long hair. Like in the picture that's in Cara's soul. Whatever. A head shave is also kinda below this bullshit. I don't know how I was supposed to meet Cara and Ezra like that. Or how I was to fucking part with my hair gone either. I have a pair of Oakley's from the last car that I stole. I kinda like them and stuff. They're a bit neat. I'm like off my icee but it's still a bit linger. That was like Curry and I's song. Linger, that is. Harlequin is such the place to miss. Like, a lot. It's cool that there's just a field, a plane, and a fold. And that that's what took me to airplane mode. I wish someone would have helped my ass out with that shit. Even before I was arrested. I mean, I needed a sun. I needed a way out of town. Even though I thought I was to marry Ciara already. Can't really believe that's what I was doing. Doesn't really make a terrible amount of sense. Backup plan unsuccess. Unfortunately. This blows some more. Yes, if you insist. Okay. A doorbell. Tonight. Might need a lawyer. Next up the oldies, where there's a forest, we don't belong. It's going to be strange being sex and finding out how I was born here. I'm sure it's not going to be that great for me. I mean, I get that i'm into loosing twice. And because i'm into it, I don't want my mind changing. So I hope it doesn't.

I wish I could play Partners In Crime with Island Girl. Maybe with my BMW instead of the Mazda. And maybe I could give her the first issue spidy com. Like, as a gift of sorts for us wanting to hold hands per deum. I love you Alice. If only we could have found dad's car together. And maybe we could have just married eachother instead of me playing Harlequin. Like, a Mustang with you and an apartment. That would be cool. I'd have a legal BMW to drive around too. If we could just fuck off in El Paso all the time. Like, going out to eat and maybe clubs. Or whatever else there is to do? Miniature golf? I would definitely be up for Partners In Crime Island Girl. And to me, we should have seen one another. You would have loved me Alice. Like, a lot and stuff. I mean, it's kind of crazy how much you and every other girl would have liked me. I like adore you girl.

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