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#I no longer had the strength.
cinnabon0 · 5 months
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collab with @i-ate-your-dog-srry 🐕
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the-gayest-sky-kid · 2 months
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this chopsticks and a spoon panel is so funny look at them
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disabled vegas is the most important vegas to me.
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evilkitten3 · 11 months
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the absolute worst thing in fanfics is when itachi betrays the akatsuki and kills kisame. like my man did not spend three-eight years politely babysitting itachi's 5'7" emo ass for this kind of disrespect
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dont-offend-the-bees · 6 months
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Wooooops I let my brain atrophy again
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citree · 6 months
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Ah I miss doing art :’’)
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pepprs · 10 months
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just finished my last day of work for the year. i survived :”~)
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I was thinking...what if Frisk didn't have allergies and had given Flowey a little black kitten instead of a betta fish?
He definitely still would have named it Andromeda (aka Orange Juice)
I think it really would have worked out well because cats will literally cuddle up to anything, and the dirt area of Flowey's potbot would be the Ultimate Cuddle rest spot because he'd be able to easily reach them for pets and snuggles.
I dunno, Flowey seems like a potential cat lover, he wouldn't even get upset if he got scratched. 🌻😼
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"have you eaten?" "yes" i said, like a liar
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meownotgood · 2 years
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aki's selflessness and utter kindness will never fail to make me feel weak
he protected denji, he took a knife to the side for him, even though he barely knew him
aki never hesitates to use his sword, just so he can keep someone else safe, even though it will cut down on his own life span, taking his already so short life away. he doesn't care, he draws it without hesitation, because he'd rather lose his own life then have someone he cares about lose theirs
aki saved angel, too, even though he said he didn't want to be saved, even though doing so cost aki even more of his life, even though angel is a devil who he swears he hates.
when he was about to die in hell, when he lost both of his arms, all aki could think about was how he couldn't do anything, how he was failing to protect denji and power, how he didn't want them to be hurt.
he blames himself for his brother's death, he blames himself for not being able to protect those he cares about. and even when he reached his very end, even when he knew he was going to die, he didn't care. all he cared about was making sure those he cared about would be happy and safe.
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angelstrawbabie420 · 2 months
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hmm i think i am not coping. very well
#i feel like ive hit a wall in my ability to handle anything and idk how to hold myself together anymore#i see myself spiraling terribly but i am so exhausted in every single way that i cannot bring myself to care#and it’s going to kill me one day but i cant even care abt that#july was so horrible. so so bad it’s the worst month ive had since my dad’s passing#i feel so incredibly empty and stagnant and stuck i feel like i am in a tar pit and ive been here before#but i no longer have the strength to claw myself out of it#nor the support of others (irl i love u mutuals)#i quite literally only have my brother at this point and with how physically abusive he can become it’s not like that’s a relationship i#truly feel supported and safe in but it’s all i have#ive always been isolated severely by my family + the Issues have always made socialization so exhausting#i feel like im just floating and no one knows me nor cares bc how can they. i either just push people away to avoid getting hurt or i dont e#even try. and when i want to it’s a task so daunting and draining#i don’t have it in me despite knowing the lack of human connection is absolutely destroying me and ripping me to shreds#despite knowing a community of some kind would help#but i also feel like i offer fucking nothing and am worthless so would i even accept the help given to me. probably not#i wish i wasnt so intense of a person in every single way. and yet i will never be enough either#i feel like ive been clinging and digging my claws into my sanity that was not really present in the first place#ive been put through so much i couldnt cope with so repeatedly and so young i think by the time i wqs 10 i had already hit a wall but you#cant just stop living so it’s only compounded on top of that#it feels unhealable it feels like just part of me now.#i see a complete absence of a future for myself and i have no one to stay alive for anymore#not my parents not my pets not my friends and i dont know how to stay alive for myself bc it’s not something ive ever wanted#idk anymore. ive never felt so utterly lost and alone and broken lmao.#no wonder this relapse has been so all-consuming#dlt ltr
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fingertipsmp3 · 3 months
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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself
#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy#a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE#i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing#and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think#that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it#because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick#i feel underconfident in writing any of them#and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first#started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min#but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast#in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore#and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new#themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter#if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life#and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep#all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters#most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head#and take care of my problems for me by lending me £1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously#so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use#it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD#to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely#adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12#they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot#if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright#i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't#and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri#and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have £300#i don't have the £300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot
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My ergo therapist and a nurse drove me to my apartment today to be there for emotional support while I cleaned up the mess ex roommate left behind. The nurse said it was an act of aggression that ex roommate left his belongings at my place - same goes for pissing in my bed and all that.
Yesterday I received a text message from him, stating that the police is informed and that I should speak out. I ignored the message. Didn't do anything illegal meaning there's no reason to be afraid of the cops.
I feel battered nevertheless. Kind of defeated. Hopeless, sad, angery. Not just because of ex roommate but in general. Don't know how to climb out of this hole, this time. I always had a plan. Or an idea on what to do and where to go, but rn I just feel lost. Yeah, I'll go to the living group again but what then? My addiction will still be there. All the other stuff too. I'm putting my hopes in the rehab clinic I'll go to in a couple of weeks.
I just hope I won't be discharged tomorrow. Yesterday I got told they want to keep me here for a while longer so that I can learn to reach out for help and stand up for myself more. But part of me believes they'll just drop me tomorrow nevertheless. Kind of like it's often been.
Yeah, I might be triggered. Feeling raw, as if I have no skin. A nurse took my pocket ashtray because there's a weed leaf on it (yeah I'm cringe, I know) and it felt like the end of the world. These "everybody hates me, no one understands me, the whole world is against me" kinda feelings. Oh man.
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bucket-of-monsters · 4 months
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The insane rush I get from exerting force in an attempt to overpower someone else gets me like nothing else especially if they can't exert the force to effectively fight back. Like aww poor thing what are you gonna do now?? It's even more fun when they can push back or are aware of other thing they can do or say to try and force me to submit. The back and forth the struggle for control really fucking does somthing to me
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area51-escapee · 7 months
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I’m gonna be real “Biden isn’t handling the situation well” is an absolutely insane way to phrase “Biden is complicit in this genocide and just as guilty as Netanyahu is” but okay
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hallasimss · 7 months
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not something i usually talk about here but i had a little breakthrough in the family genealogy research today and istg i felt something over my shoulder. like an ancestor or something i'm not even kidding
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