#I only got as far as the end of act 1 despite loving the game and story so so much LMAO

[kqltlc]

[11052023] Bot Practice: V1

I really wanna get into drawing robots so I can draw my characters but lack experience. Decided the best way to go about it is to draw fanart of existing bots so I can learn like, what everyone else does. Lol

First bot to my mind was V1. I've drawn him before but never really drew with the intention of learning. Went ahead and took the first image I found and heavily ref'd it as I lazily sketched, allowing myself to make mistakes because hey, here to learn, not stress over perfect details.

_ Art // myself, @kqltlc V1 // ULTRAKILL (New Blood Interactive) Don't use in anyway whatsoever, thnx

[neighborlystudios]

・﹒・﹒・ why are ya avoiding me? [1]

Summary: You avoided him at all costs because frankly, he was an asshole, doesn't mean he avoided you though. He constantly flirts with you but you just take it as him trying to anger you. It works, but you start to feel like he's being serious, and you have butterflies in your stomach just thinking about him. However, he finally confronts you one day, and you don't know what to do.

Warnings: 15+, suggestive remarks, pet names

Pairing: Jax x GN!reader

Series: Part 2

Notes: I'm not proud of this writing at all, but I'll keep it as it is for you guys!

It was a normal day at the digital circus, as normal as one day can be in this wacky place. The adventure-of-the-day just finished up and you purposely made it so you weren't close to Jax at all, but he kept slithering into your personal space like you haven't set clear boundaries. You hate him, simple as that, regardless of how many times Ragetha claims that you must have a crush on him. The audacity. Jax is a bitch, asshole, shithead, he was terrible to everyone, who could like someone like that?

Well, despite making your status clear on the relationship between you to, he didn't get the memo- no, no, he just didn't care. At every single chance he got, that bitchass rabbit would flirt with you. It frustrated you to no ends because he obviously was just doing it to get a rise out of you and it was working. Every time you got upset, he would smirk and call you "cute", it set you off even more. Even though his body (and everyone else's including your's) was just a fake, digital avatar, you still found him somewhat attractive.

I mean who could deny that he was cute? His voice didn't do him any favors either, but it didn't get rid of the fact that he was a bitch. Every time you blushed at his flirting (which was shamefully more than what you would have liked), he would get closer and tease you about it. Pomni made it abundantly clear that you two acted like a married couple, which is so far from the truth.

So why did it feel different this time? Zooble was talking to you about how they never liked going on Caine's "adventures" because they were stupid, which is fair considering he only did it just to keep us from going insane from boredom and abstracting, they always felt like something that would be in a game for little kids. You tried to pay attention to her, truly you did, but your gaze kept moving over to Jax as he was conversing with Pomni about something you couldn't hear. You shouldn't be staring at him so much, why were you?

"You gonna tell him?" Her question caught you off guard. Tell who what? You knew exactly what she was talking about, however you chose to play dumb even though it won't work.

"Uh what do you mean?" You ask, head turning to her, feigning innocence as she sighed and rubbed her nonexistent temple, grumbling.

"Don't be dumb Galka, you like him even though you say you hate him. Everyone knows, I mean you look at him like you love him" Love him? As if! Far from it, you hate him.

"But I uh...I don't! He really gets my nerves Zooble! He wants to piss me off because its fun! That's why he flirts so muuuuch!" You whine as you look over to the one in question, but this time he stared back at you. Eyes widening, you quickly turn back to Zooble, however, its too late as he's already saunter over here like he owns the place with his shit eating grin loud and clear on his stupid face.

"Well hello there Galka, looking adorable as always" Immediately, you felt your face warm he flirts with you yet again, refusing to look back at him.

"Leave me alone @@#@$, what part of "don't come near me" is hard to understand?"

"Oh I understand fully. I just wanna know oooone thing" His voice pissed you off, especially when he spoke in that tone, one that reeked of smugness. Yet, butterflies erupted in your stomach as he spoke, his presence made you flustered, why? Out of annoyance most likely, only reason.

"Why are ya avoiding me, Cutie?" There it is, the elephant in the room that you refused to address and that stupidly cliche nickname that you loved from him out of his dumbass mouth.

"I'm not avoiding you, I'm just...coincidentally not around when you are" Shamefully looking down at the floor so he didn't see your face, you knew it was a weak excuse but it was better than accepting fate and saying nothing. That didn't deter him in any way as his feet popped into your field of vision. Shit, he is right in front of you. His arm came into view as his hand sat under your chin, soon lifting it up to meet his gaze, smirk ever present.

"Yeah, sure, likely story. Wanna explain why you look like you're having very dirty thoughts right now? Are they about me?" His statement made you scoff and step back, waving your hands to separate from him. The AUDACITY, again why was everyone claiming you liked him? How could you want to be with this person when he said shit like that?

"Oh please! In your dreams #%#@$head" Turning around, you started to make your way to your room, it was a bit of a walk but you didn't mind it. Plans sometimes were never made to be followed through as Jax appeared yet again in front of you.

"C'mon let me walk you to ya room at least" How did he know you were heading there? God he never fails to ask to be punched in the grion.

"I don't think anything here is going to put me in any danger #%@$ Bunny, leave me alone" You spoke firmly, not wanting any slips to happen, voice strong as you walked with a purpose, pushing past him to the one place that Jax isn't present. Well...physically at least. Ok maybe you did have a feeeeww pictures of the rabbit in there, but it was to remind you how much you hate him, yeah that's it. Nobody else knew because you never let anyone enter and since nobody else had a key, it worked out.

"Oh are you sure sweet thing? Don't worry your secret is safe with me of-" He holds your shoulder to stop you before leaning in close your head "all those pictures you have of me"

[happypotato48]

List of Thai BL dramas i've watched with short opinions about them i guess :P

Thai BLs that i finished:

A Boss and a Babe. It's cute for what it is, i loved the gaming friendships and i'm a sucker for forcebook. 7/10 need more unhinged energy from book.

A Tale of Thousand Stars/Our Skyy 2 : Bad Buddy x A Tale Of Thousand stars. this show reminds me a lot of early to mid 2000s lakorns. it's a beautiful by the book love story, i appreciated that a bl got to take a spin on this kind of quiet thai story. 8/10 loved it but still too vanilla for my taste.

Bake Me Please. Guide Kantapon is the cutest man alive and CAKES! that it, that all i have for this show. 6/10 it's a show that exist.

Be My Favorite. damn fluke gawin is so pretty what was this show about again? :P i'm kidding, i actually really liked this show. i watched it when i had zero knowledge about bl industry, i was oblivious about krist's controversy and i find krist acting to be charming and think kawee is very relatable as a cringe fail human myself. 8.5/10 this show made me want to collected weird thingies.

Cherry Magic (Thailand). oh boy this show. it's was everything to me also the only show so far that i've written extensively on this site. here is my personal feeling about this show. 9.5/10 would kill for taynew.

Cooking Crush. what! the fuc$! look look, i just learned that both offgun are older than me. when i first saw the show i thought they were some rookie actors with how young they looks. watching cute bl is gonna be the death of me. anywho this show is supercute don't have a lot of thought about it though. 7.5/10 cutting half a point cause of no samsee x metha.

Cutie Pie/Naughty Babe. what a fuckin legend of a series. all the characters have zero braincells and somehow all the rich pretty boys are engaged to each other and by arranged marriages nonetheless. wtf is this fanfic version of thailand and where can i get hit by a truck and get isekai to it. 7.5/10 still haven't watch Cutie Pie 2 U, i hope it get dumber.

Enchanté. this show is so dummmb it should've go full camp reverse harem yaoi nonsense but it didn't and ended up being kinda boring. 6.5/10. meh, i'm still a sucker for forcebook.

Last Twilight. UGHHH!! i'm still so mad. this show was going to be THE SHOW for me then ep 11-12 happened i legit mentally check out halfway through ep 12 and i basically blocked the ending from my mind. this show came out at the right place and the right time for me, the first 9 episodes helped me through a very tough time in my life. the story of two people helping each other finding their way out of the dark was very compelling to me. ughh. 5.5/10 (9/10 for ep 1-9) P'Aof why are you like this!!

Laws Of Attraction. yassssssss this show slay(literally :P) the show is a breath of fresh air for me despite how very lakorn of it is. i'm glad that there is a bl that feel this soapy and campy cause like i do love my angsty and innocent school bls but the industry really need show like laws of attraction. jamfilm also were very great in their roles espically film, charn is the most babygirl corrupted cute evil lawyer of all time. 9/10 no note headempty only charn's evil smirks in my mind

La Pluie. now, this is a romance. this show is one of the most romanctic media that i personally have experience. i loved that the show took the cheesy premise of soulmates and work it so well to do both deconstruction and exploration of the trope. i think using rain, thing that isolated people as a narrative tool for love connection is absolutely brilliant. last but not least pat is just the perfect bl love interest, he's an very idealized character but he do feels like an actual person. i want to give a shout out to Pee Peerawich the way he said "มันหนาวอ่ะ" in ep 8 sent me, the raspy voice, the eye twich and combo those with a back cuddle, sir! you just commited a mass murders with that move. 9/10 plz i need season two with my baby boy tien.

Love in Translation. the unhingendness of that first meeting is probably my favorite bl meet cute. look if you don't get into a fistfight with the guy you destined to be with then what is the point of life. this show fake date is very well done it's doesn't feel forced like in a lot of other bls and it make the growing attraction feels very genuine and it pay off in one of the best sex scenes in all of bl, yang is such a freak and i loved him for it. 8/10 the last two episodes did got slightly off the rail for me but i still enjoyed the show.

Moonlight Chicken. one of the most beautiful shows i ever watched. when watching this show i can feels, smells and tastes everything it depicted. from the comfort khao man gai to jim's loneliness, from alan's heartbreak to liming and heart's midnight motorcycle ride. this show gave me all the feels and i still can't completely shake it off. 9.9/10 this show is a healing.

My School President. These boys!!!! i can't, i loved these boys so much, all the boys, YES ALL OF THEM! this show is on the opposite spectrum of Moonlight Chicken for me. while MC give me the good heartaches this show give me unbridled joy it's like heartstopper on cracks. i absolutely adored tinn and gun and the show relentless optimism about thier first love. love is awesome no matter the romantic, familial or platonic kind and i think this show hit the marks with all three. 10/10(i'm super bias but fuck it idc i even liked the singing) this show made me started watching thai bl and it always will have a place in my heart.

My Ride. this show is lacking in intimacy but making up by being all heart. could this show be better if they fleshed out and explore more of tawan and his cheating bf's relationship, maybe but i'm happy for what we got. 8/10 mork and tawan were very cutie patootie, i don't remember much about the het and the side couple were just st ok.

Step by Step. man trisanu is exactly the same height at me and i want everyone to know that is the only reason i started this show🤣 . i feels like this show have a lot to say about stuff but i kinda got lost staring at man trisanu while watching. one thing i really loved is the very fem *ตุ๊ด coworker who got to be a real character not just a jokey sidekick and having a loving relationship with a hottie. 7.5/10 can i get more man trisanu in bl plz.

Triage. asshole doctor stuck in a timeloop for him to find the meaning of life, yes plz give it to me. i loved stories about assholes who need to better themself for love and other junk. tinn and tol are both grumpy bitches and i just loved that the show use the timeloop to soften these nerds. at the end i just want to wrap them in blanket and let's them cuddle each other forever. 8.5/10 the last ep is bit convoluted but i forgave the show for that cute clocktower kiss.

You're My Sky. i started this show for my boy suar and he did not disappointed. the pining and the longing for an older boy who been there for you most you life, chef kiss. this show also very beautiful to look at. 8/10 i'm kinda meh about the side couples, i do think they all got the "good ending" for their stories.

Thai BLs that i didn't finish or gave up and skipped to the ending:

Bad Buddy. Oh boy, am i gonna get murder for this??? sorry but idk why i didn't wholeheartedly love and give this show my undivided attention. i watched this show very weird and out of order, i started with the last ep than just watch other episodes in bit and peice. i think i've seen 70% of this show. plz forgive me this is the first thai bl i tried to get into but can't. maybe i need to give this show another chance and watch it properly. or idk maybe cause the way i watched it, it's ruined for me forever. 6.5/10 i loved the rooftop kiss plz don't kill me.

Dangerous Romance. this show is trash and not the good kind, how this show depicted relationship between a rich asshole and a poor boy feels very gross to me. i fast forward a bunch and gave up after the not just dumb but very cruel breakup. 4/10 it's watchable if you ignore the plot and the chatacters.

Hidden Agenda. wow this is the most nothing show that ever nothing for me. it's a perfected white noise while playing chill video games. i stopped watching after ep 8 cause look like there going to be a dumb break up, i have no desire to revisit this show. 5/10 joongdunk were kinda cutes.

The Miracle of Teddy Bear. this show is too god damn long with too many side plots the one and a half hour per episode killed the momentum for me. i liked the show and do think i want to revisit and finish it one day. 6/10 for now.

Vice Versa. why are they giving jimmysea this show. this show is so boring for me, i gave up in episode 6. 4/10 gmmtv give my babies better shows!!

Thai BLs that i've watched all the sex scenes and have no intention of watching the actual show:

Kinnporsche: heheehehhehehe everyone were so hot, too bad i don't like rich mafia story. mile being a nepobaby also significantly killed the mood for me. 55555/dead bodyguards (idk how many there are but i don't care) the ost are bangers though.

Venus in the Sky and Love in the Air. cringe gay sex for the wins. 69/420.

ok, whoo that was a lot. gonna pin this cause i don't think anyone want to read all that in one sitting. i think i'm gonna make another post for non thai BLs in the near future. thanks for reading my unhinged opinions hope i'm not gonna get moider for it 55555555.

[thygoddessouijathicc]

Old Man Yaoi May Not Be So Old

So there’s a segment in the DSaF fandom that beleive Dave and Jack are visibly old men. I’m fine with it, I used to, and in fact love the designs especially because there’s seems to be an almost taboo of drawing old people to a point and it’s homely really great that people here are doing it, but I don’t think that’s actually true canonically like I used to. I must stress though DRAW THEM HOW YOU LIKE. They can be old or not it doesn’t concern me.

Both of them are corpses. In terms of age, yes, they are quite old, but corpses don’t tend to age. And we see this in DSAF with the Phones not aging visibly, perhaps it’s just that it’s stock photos but Harry, despite being Gen 1, is physically not old. Why? Because Harry isn’t alive. None of the phones are. The phones are just well preserved and act like living creatures.

You know what else isn’t alive but acts like it? Dave and Jack. While they’d be in terms of numbers, old, in DSAF 3, given their ages at which they died it’s unlikely they’d physically get any older. And don’t say some kinda magic thing because we know for a fact that both behave like corpses, especially Jack. Jack paints himself orange to look alive (a weird colour choice but I digress), he does this because his body is rotting, likely turning black or purple (this also means any cursed colour swap between the two, the Jack side may just not have put on his makeup yet lol). Jack is rotting, definitely not alive body behaviours. Dave also does not behave like a living person. How many of those do you know that can do what he does. There seems to be a consensus that Davetrap is rotting but Dave is too nothing happened to Davetrap to kickstart the process that would mean Dave could not have before, it’s likely the pests just got in because he was stationary and likely far slower.

Let’s also talk about their behaviour. It’s not great to go off of but Jack doesn’t act like a mature adult and neither does Dave, they act like they’re rather young adults still figuring themselves out. Jack especially is quite childish, as if he never got a chance to mature. You could bring up Dee, but Dee’s situation is far different. It doesn’t seem like Dee has actually mentally matured so much as she has been put in a position in which she has no choice but to take on a more mature role and tries to fit that, she has no reason to mentally age, and none of the other children have meaning if she actually got older there would have to be more to it. Dee is as old as she always was, any maturity added is not due to age but due to her situation. Dave and Jack are immature people, and with this in mind it paints a somewhat grim picture of the fact that they never got to mature.

One could mention the ending in which Jack dies of old age… but the phones also have beards here and Jack is actually established to be semi immortal so dying of old age just doesn’t make sense, he can die, but it seems like he gets back up. So let’s be real the beards are fake, and Jack probably ate something weird, and will be fine in like 12 minutes. The game probably ends when you die because it would be weird if it didn’t even if you do get back up.

The only time I’d say Jack permanently dies is when he’s burned. Which leaves no body behind, which by the same principle as the others, means there’s nothing left to come back which sucks for him because oops no soul either.

Jack can also get rabies but… this also doesn’t feel like a sign he is alive.

Dave actively does rot in the game as Davetrap, Jack rots constantly, it’s safe to say their bodies do not work like human ones especially considering not having organs is not something that kills Dave. At least not that we know.

With all of this in mind, yeah. They are corpses. And as I’ve said before, corpses do not age in DSAF physically or mentally, even Blackjack is incredibly immature if you actually look at his behaviour. He’s also an asshole who never gets character development but that’s a story for another time.

It actually makes more sense if they don’t age given the very little change in their behaviour or character between games even after a massive Timeskip nothing seems to have changed at all which makes sense logically too, because why would Fredbear give Jack the ability to age? Let’s be real here if Jack can age eventually that will become a problem given that he is immortal seemingly as long as he has a body to return to. There’s no reason to give him the ability to age and plenty of reasons not to.

Now that’s not to say their bodies don’t change, they do. And if you realistically want to draw DSAF 3 Jack in his most canon possible form… which I doubt many do… Jack doesn’t age he rots he’s probably just a lot worse for wear if he hasn’t found a way to stop rotting yet. Him being an old man is unlikely, but a very decomposed zombie? More likely than you’d think.

And before anyone brings up the tapes, Dave may just look like that, pretty much every piece of art in that game is by a different person who is not Doggo, while Dave seems to be a bit older Jack does not. The tapes are in the past if we are saying that is Dave’s age in DSAF 3, sorry no.

DSAF 3 has incredibly inconsistent art to a point I’d say fans can largely disregard it but that’s an essay for another time just know art in that game isn’t as canon as people seem to think it is. At least not by my observation.

Dave and Jack are old men in age, but not in body. No in body they are most likely the age they died at which seems to have been pretty young for both of them like we know Jack was in his early 20s and Dave is a few years older but also died at the very least a few months before Jack. They aren’t old men, at least not canonically.

I must stress I mean they probably are not canonically old because honestly the DSaF fandom needs to take a chill pill and stop being angry at people for making their own designs, literally do what you want as long as it’s not illegal or like super fucked up. Don’t make Jack 12 and Dave 60 and ship that, but if you want to draw them old be my guest. This essay was just my observation of the idea that the fandom calls them old men and people seem to think they are canonically but it just seems unlikely.

[yuurei20]

Cater Info Compilation part 10: Music

Cater is the lead singer of the pop music club. While intending to compete for the position via a karaoke app singing contest, it ends in a game of rock paper scissors, won by Lilia.

Lilia immediately decides he would rather be the bassist (and thus the leader) and passes the lead singer position to Cater.

All three band members admit that the club does very little by way of practicing. Instead they “hang out, snack, chillax”.

Cater says “the whole music-playing bit is kind of an afterthought”, which is why “the headmage’s got his sights on us”. It seems the club is in constant danger of being disbanded.

While Kalim and Cater originally intend to get Lilia an instrument as a souvenir during the Firelit Sky event, they ultimately settle on snacks instead, as “the Pop Music Club brand”.

It seems the club has difficulty attracting new members, with Lilia “shrieking and smashing guitars” during a club event to attract first-years, where Lilia also attempted to crowdsurf, but fell to the floor when he was not caught.

Cater says “the only one we got to join was Kalim” and “I don’t wanna lose my place to hang after class. And I definitely don’t wanna be forced into a sports club.”

Cater does not seem fond of exercise, though in a voice line he says “It’s not that I’m bad at exercising, I just don’t like getting too fired up.”

Despite this, it seems Cater is in charge of (or at least is in a position where his opinion is taken into consideration for) Spelldrive team members, with Ace telling him to “Remember this when you pick the official team!” in Book 2 before they go against Savanaclaw in a mock-Spelldrive game.

Cater often comments on Lilia’s singing style, saying that “When Lilia starts getting scream in Pop Music Club practice, it can get a little scary” and “Lilia basically screams out all the lyrics in this mock raspy voice”.

He bemoans being “left out” in Book 5, and when Lilia asks, “Am I not sufficient company for you?” He responds “Oh, far from it!…Just keep the improv dialed down for this, okay?”

Cater seems to prefer “poppy love songs”, but says when he tried to introduce one to the Pop Music Club Kalim and Lilia put their own spins on it, leaving it unrecognizable “but it’s not like I’m super gung-ho about anything”.

Cater also says he is a fan of electropop.

From the guidebook we know that there was originally a white rabbit character in Heartslabyul, and that Cater was originally supposed to be a beastman.

We don’t know if Cater himself was going to be the white rabbit, but Riddle does have a chat line that may or may not be hinting at his original incarnation: “You’re acting like the White Rabbit”.

Cater Info Compilation part 1: Secret Inner Life Cater Info Compilation part 2: Family and Food Cater Info Compilation part 3: Halloween, Astrology, Epel Cater Info Compilation part 4: Cater on EN Cater Info Compilation part 5: Cater, Jade and Idia Cater Info Compilation part 6: Magicam Cater Info Compilation part 7: Cater in the Main Story Cater Info Compilation part 8: Childhood Cater Info Compilation part 9: Cater and Malleus

[gizkasparadise]

2023 wrapped: kdrama edition!

taking a page from @dangermousie, here's a list of all the kdramas ive watched this year, in order from least liked to most liked! because i dont have a spotify wrap-up to share :'D

cdrama one here!

and i'll do a webtoon one too /o/

overall i didnt watch too many kdramas this year, and finished less. kind of a "meh" kdrama year for me overall (with 1-2 exceptions). with that in mind, full disclosure that i didnt love a ton of what i watched this year in kdramaland:

we barely knew ye: ones i dropped only a few eps in

sweet home 2. dropped after ep 2. direction it went in is v much not my thing, my fave surviving characters were either killed off or put on the bench, and im not that motivated to see what happens next. might jump back into the franchise if word-of-mouth on s3 is good, we'll see

moon in the day. first ep was actually great and i enjoyed it a lot!! but im not doing cancer storylines rn so that killed momentum. may try this one again later

king the land. watched the first ep. simply did not vibe.

death's game. ditto ^

black knight. i LOVE a good dystopian scifi. this was not that. i was really bored after the first ep and didnt bother with the rest

my dearest. i watched the first ep and liked it, but just wasnt in the mood/wasn't immediately hooked. i'm going to give this one another try when i hit the Angsty Sageuk craving again

dramas i watched at least half of

6. twinkling watermelon.

it's pretty wild to put what i believe is the current #1 show on mydramalist as my bottom pick for the year, especially since it's written by my favorite screenwriter, but here we are. this one is far from objectively the worst drama but it's here because it made me the most mad!! the female lead and second male leads were both off-putting and selfish to me, and the whole drama i was actively rooting for ryeoun's earnest and endearing male lead and shin eun soo's underwritten second female lead to escape and have mother/son adventures on their own away from the rest of everyone else

5. arthdal chronicles: sword of aramun.

sigh. i was a big believer/supporter of this season, even with all of the recasts. but despite a few moments of brilliance, it was overall a slog to watch and just kind of joyless. too much time spent on the ago tribe, too many nonsensical victories and deus ex machina coincidences, and the bag was very much fumbled with some of the characters (particularly saya, who was to me the most interesting character in s1 and you KNOW ljk could have rocked that ruthlessness). positive standouts were kim ok bin flawlessly scene-chewing as taealha and lee joon ki working what he was dealt

4. worst of evil.

adored this drama for the first 2/3rds! it was gritty, neo-noir that reminded me a lot of the old school hong kong crime films like infernal affairs. lots of style, great acting, messy and flawed characters. but the last arc/ending was a boring dud for me. still very much enjoyed the ride up to that point though!

3. perfect marriage revenge.

so! much!! fun!!! just. full commitment to making a show as gloriously makjang/soap operay as it could get and it was a blast watching because of it. made on pocket lint for a budget but it rocked what it had and a special shoutout to lee min young's absolutely fantastically camp evil stepmother. the excitement died down a little toward the end, but still a good time overall

2. the glory, part 2.

a satisfying ending to a really excellent first half. love that the female lead just got to execute revenge and there was no moral or sanctimonious hangups about it. enjoyed the way the ending was set up as "the adventure continues," and all in all this was a really solid and enjoyable dark drama! only thing that was kind of a bummer is that the time split between airing the first and second halves killed the momentum a little, but that's entirely netflix fuckery and not the fault of the show

moving

hands-down the best kdrama i watched this year, and possibly my favorite kdrama ever. i didnt plan to watch this one because im sick of superhero everything, but the cast got me wanting to at least try it and omg im glad i did. great acting from literally everyone, wild action scenes, and just beautiful characters and dynamics across every level. the family narratives are so, so good and the whole show is expertly grounded in the concept of planting seeds so your children can see flowers. please give this one a try if you're on the fence about it!

2023 kdramas that i plan to watch (but didnt get to yet!)

my lovely liar

a good day to be a dog

my perfect stranger

revenant

mask girl

bloodhounds

my demon

AWARDS

Favorite ship: juwon and jihee from moving absolutely destroyed me in the like 3 eps they were in, so they win this one. he's a gangster who gets the shit kicked out of him for a living and loves stories with happy endings. she's a weary but always brave sex worker (coded, but still) who decides to trust a lonely man crying in the street. i never thought a motion-sensor light could wreck me the way theirs did. "you have worth to me, and i have worth to you."

Favorite FL: song hye kyo's dong eun in the glory just barely edges out han hyo joo's mihyun in moving. song hye kyo needs to play, like, all the villains and anti-heroes ASAP because that's been the most fun ive had watching her. she took on a dark character and rocked it

Favorite ML: juwon from moving, definitely. to quote my older post:

Moving really said hi this is Juwon. he has scars from gunshots all down his arm. he opened a chicken restaurant. he’s a gangster. he loves pro wrestling because the good guys win. he tried to rip out his own galbladder to prove a point. he’s a proud girl dad. he is unkillable. he stands in the street and cries.

Favorite 2FL: lee min young's incredible, over the top, villainous camp queen lee jung hye from perfect marriage revenge was just so much fun to watch and she ate every single scene she was in. 10/10 would watch her throw lawn chairs in a ballgown all day

Favorite 2ML: i would die for bongseok from moving. precious sunshine child who deserves only the best

Best Cast: im a broken record, but moving. so many characters with such great depth given to them and this was truly an ensemble show A+++

Best WTF: yura eating her paternity results in perfect marriage revenge!!

[cactikiki]

oooooooh you wanna talk about ur headcanons sooo bad

(srsly tho i'd love to see :3)

rubs my evil little hands together

Thank you kindly for the ask. I finally have an excuse to infodump about headcanons hehehehehe

You didn't specify who for, soooo I'm gonna go for 3 star fam + Cassie for this

Gregory Bowman

14 (at the time of RUIN, 12 during GGY)

Venezuelan

The most GNC kid you've ever seen, but people confuse him for a girl sometimes. He isn't super happy about that (he's ftm). Also, he's bi

Autistic

He gets overwhelmed with crowds, bright lights and strong smells (especially as patient 46. The Mimic made his autism stronger /hj)

He also gets migraines when the Mimic/Dr. Rabbit is messing with his mind.

He has a special interest in coding! He wanted to make video games when he was a little younger

Doesn't like to let his emotions get to him. He tries to push forward through them no matter what.

He tries to act tough to spite his small stature, and got into fights in school often because of it

Vanessa does his hair now. He likes it the way it is, so doesn't ask her to change it. He has let Cassie style it for fun before

His hair was hacked at with a pocket knife to keep it short while he was Dr. Rabbit. It looked far worse in GGY era than SB era.

Since hanging out with Cassie, he's been putting makeup on regularly. It's only black eyeliner and nail polish, though

He's always drawing or doodling. He finds it relieves stress if he doesn't overthink it (which, like all artists, he sometimes does)

Gets a lot of graphic nightmares about what the Mimic did while in his mind. Before recovering his memory, he thought they were just that– nightmares. 

He's seriously scared of the dark, to the point he hallucinates things moving in it

Used to own every piece of Freddy merch there was, until he ran away from home

He came from a fairly rich family. Not super rich, but rich enough to own a big house. It was mainly his relatives and his dad that had the money, while his mom was simply an indie writer

His parents threw money at him sometimes, and once he'd met Tony it'd gone straight to him a number of times

Was homeless for a few months, living on the streets and spending many nights at Cassie's. Eventually he started staying at the Pizzaplex. His memories of where and when are muddled.

Sees Vanessa as an older sister figure, Cassie a younger sister, and Freddy as parental (but don't tell any of them that) 

One of his front teeth is missing because it was knocked it out while someone fought him back as Dr. Rabbit. 

He's part of the 1% that actually likes sodaroni.

Vanessa A. 

23

Lesbian

Loved cooking, reading and gaming before the Glitchtrap stuff happened. She's slowly gotten back into it after taking Gregory in, but doesn't play games very often anymore unless it's with him. 

She's really awkward with people she doesn't know very well. And, despite trying her best, she often ends up freaking people out with some insanely obscure dark fact she knows, usually about Fazbear Entertainment's past.

Remembers everything from when she was Vanny, but it is slightly fuzzy

She pushed away all her friends and family when she was Vanny, and has yet to reconnect out of worry of something going wrong and them ending up hurt. She has considered sending Gregory to be with them in the past. 

Her grandmother passed not long before she was Vanny, and the two were particularly close. She'd taken the house and had not been able to live in it until she was freed. 

She used to be louder, but now she tends to be quiet and reserved. Some of her old personality shines through when she's with Gregory, when she teases him like an older sibling would

She's paranoid and overthinks things. She's scared Fazbear Entertainment will come knocking for Freddy, or that the Mimic will find out where they are through the internet, or a variety of irrational fears

Has a large scar on her waist from stray machinery in the sinkhole

Hasn't told Gregory about what the Mimic truly is, nor what it did to him, hoping to protect him.

Since Gregory can't remember much of his life from before, Vanessa promises she'll help him remember-- but she's grateful for some of the things he doesn't.

Freddy Fazbear

He charges overnight in the basement with a contraption Gregory came up with using an old car battery. The battery lasts 12 hours before needing a recharge. 

He has been accidentally left in a room alone by Gregory and Vanessa before, who forget sometimes that he's just a head now

On occasion the trio go on picnics to quiet places where they can be alone, and on these occasions Freddy gets to see the world– he's very excited about seeing new things outside of the plex! 

He can now connect to the internet, and was able to download all of the Pizzaplex's blueprints this way. He can also now be used as a projector. 

Since his Faz-wrench port was on his body, Gregory fitted a USB port to Freddy's head; it's janky, but it works long enough to transfer a few files. 

Gregory has asked about Bonnie, although Freddy doesn't talk about him much. He mostly fondly recalls memories before getting upset and not wanting to speak more. 

He's often the one to stop the sibling-ish arguments between Vanessa and Gregory 

He doesn't know it, but Gregory's been researching how to build small animatronics for a few months so he can build Freddy a new body as a surprise. He… Hasn't gotten very far, yet

He still sings on occasion, but finds it brings him memories of his friends, which (similarly to Bonnie) he doesn't like to think about too much. 

He feels incredibly guilty for what happened to all of his friends. He doesn't blame Gregory in the slightest, but does wish he'd taken a different approach. 

Cassie Reyes

14 (at the time of RUIN, her birthday was that very day) 

Dominican 

AuDHD

Trans + bi, like Gregory! But is mtf

Loves video games and would play them with Gregory all the time. She tended to prefer cosier games, while he liked RPGs– they played Minecraft together often, which kept them both satisfied. 

Super emotional, considers herself a crybaby. She tries to hide it behind a sassy, sometimes bossy exterior 

She imagines alternate situations a lot and pretends things are different than they really are. She can't cope with change or loss very easily. 

When she wants to do something, she will do anything to achieve her goal + won't rest until she does. She overworks herself and thinks too much about things she shouldn't 

Her mom died when she was 6. It's been just her and her dad since then

Her dad recently (as of RUIN) left for some reason, he didn't say– only leaving money and a note. She might drive herself crazy looking for him in future. 

She's the weird kid in class. She doesn't have any real friends and gets bullied for being into 'childish things'.

The wolf kid. The very reason she prefers Roxy over the others.

Her second favorite character is Chica! Although she likes all the characters a lot. She also remembers liking Bonnie before he disappeared-- even her dad couldn't tell her what happened.

She watches cartoons and writes essays or fics about them in her spare time 

While Gregory was homeless and visiting her, on the colder days, she'd let him in for movies and hot cocoa and they'd make a blanket fort. Sometimes Gregory would spend these nights falling asleep on Cassie, watching her play animal crossing or stardew valley

She won both the Roxy and Freddy talky for her and Gregory at the Pizzaplex during her birthday. Gregory would sometimes come within range while she was at home just to walkie something incredibly stupid or annoying, before getting out of range too fast for Cassie's complaints to be heard 

She hates sodaroni and feels nauseous every time Gregory drinks it right in front of her like it's nothing. 

[c0d33]

Richard Lore

WARNING! This post contains spoilers for Outer Wilds: Echoes of the Eye!

If you have not yet completed this DLC (Or Outer Wilds for that fact), I would suggest not reading past the read more. What I talk about in here will spoil some of the largest parts of the DLC, and they're too good to not experience for yourself first.

Y'all gone? Alright, now let's get into this mess of a character.

Richard the Owlk

(Art by @luckylazulii!)

Part 1: Origins

Richard's origins are probably not a conventional way for OCs to be made. Richard was spawned entirely as a joke from several VRChat sessions I had with some friends. In them, we would usually start in the Outer Wilds avatar world, and one of the avatars was a customizable Owlk! Naturally, I tried to make the silliest looking one possible, so I gave them no antlers (But I prefer just calling them bald). While I used this avatar, I jokingly called them Richard. Not only did this name stick for the character itself, but it also somehow got attached to me. So if you're wondering why I had that random name listed as one of the ones you can call me, that's why.

Part 2: The Lore

This is where it somehow gets sillier. I never intended for Richard to be a serious character, so naturally I just started making up whatever lore I wanted for him. So, here's what the initial lore was:

He's bald (As mentioned earlier)

He's a certified Fortnite gamer

He sleeps in doorways (The one on the top end of the stairs in the Party House in the Shrouded Woodlands is the main one he sleeps in)

He eats children

As you can see, not the most serious OC. But again, I hardly intended for them to be serious. It wasn't until they had been around for a while and I started getting art of them that more lore started developing. So, here's the Serious Lore™:

Richard was spawned through a bug in the simulation's code. Despite the Owlk's best attempts to fix the bug, he was never patched out and remained in the simulation indefinitely.

He didn't act like other Owlks. He would often be looming in the distance, watching. Waiting.

He wasn't very... friendly, so to say. Various reports were made and many stories were told about the various things he had done, but there were never any other witnesses for any one story.

By the time the events of the main game are taking place, there are no other Owlks left in the simulation except for Richard (And the Prisoner, but due to their current situation, Richard couldn't feasibly get rid of them).

And so far, that's the lore. There are some other meta things I could think of that would explain how they would work in the context of the game, but that doesn't necessarily apply to their lore.

Part 3: Personality

I've given a lot of thought about Richard's personality and how it would work with both sides of his lore, and I think I've worked something out.

Richard experiences what I would best describe as very extreme mood swings, due to how messy the bug that allowed him to exist was.

One is the very silly, very goofy Fornite-playing doorway-sleeping Owlk that most people (Aside from the other Owlks) know and love.

The other side is the side that the Owlks experienced, with the general creepiness and violent nature.

My best comparison would be to some kind of mental illness, but I'm very cautious and nervous about saying that since A.) I don't know nearly enough about mental illnesses to name any one that it could be similar to, B.) I don't want to offend anyone who may have the mental illness that I specifically name, and C.) I don't want this to vilify mental illness in any way, shape, or form.

I'm very aware of how bad mental illness representation in media can be, and the last thing I want would be to add to that pile of misrepresentation. I would greatly appreciate any feedback or advice about this, since I'm very worried about portraying something the wrong way.

Part 4: Conclusion

Well, that's the Richard lore! Thank you very much for reading!

Richard is still very much a character that's under development, as I'm still attempting to work out exactly how they act and behave. Any thoughts or comments are appreciated, and feel free to send me asks about them, be it questions or feedback!

(Entirely unrelated to Richard, but after writing this I'm realizing just how starved for lore my other two OCs are. Maybe I should get some for them too.)

[annierosaart]

Ask game:

Fandom: RWBY 3, 19; Arknights 13, 15, 16.

Ship: FiaExu 10, 16; TexLapp 1, 9

Character: Exusiai 5, 7; Gavial 17, 20

Forgot to answer, my bad!

RWBY:

3 - ...which scene I would like to erase from the universe and why.

Weiss getting stabbed so Jaune could unlock his semblance. Yeah.

19 - ...one behind-the-scenes trivia fact I've learned somewhere and my thoughts on it.

from the Volume 9 commentary. get this shit away from me.

Arknights: (presume when i say fanon, i mean the queerer part of it, not the very reddit part)

13 - ...which canon or popular fanon relationship I can't stand or feel 'meh' about and why.

i've talked about how on the best of days i'm neutral towards FiaMos, and usually just don't like it, but here's a 'hot' take specifically for the side of the fandom i'm in:

PL just. does not read as a polycule to me. for various reasons i won't get into, you can DM me about it, but i'm really just meh on it, they don't feel close in that way.

also despite loving Mumu, SaMuel as an actual thing just doesn't do much for me, soz.

15 - ...which character I would choose for the chopping block if I knew the writers wanted to kill someone.

I think one that has the potential to end up being a meaningful death would be Hoshiguma or Swire. Note that I don't dislike them, far from it, I just think the death of either would shake things up for the LGD gang's dynamics in a compelling way.

16 - ...which character's death would (or did) make me rage-quit.

knowing Outcast's fate has made it difficult for me to start catching up on Act 2, haha. but not enough to rage-quit. if i had to say... Blaze. her hypothetically dying at this point would be for cheap shock value alone.

FiaExu:

10 - ...rate the level of stupid they reach in their pining.

on a scale of "regular" to "no media literacy" in stupid... burns ramen in the microwave. hopelessly pining, thinking the other has no interest in them, when it's mutual, extremely so. like lovers exchanging sexually charged letters in the 1800s.

16 - ...three of my fic recs for this ship. And (in the event that I've written something for them) one of my fics involving them that I'm most proud of.

brother there's barely that many to begin with. but!

Birdhouse In Your Soul by burstfoot on Ao3 (and tumblr! hi @burstfoot)

The movie was a pretense to curl up on the couch with you. by inRemote on Ao3 and tumblr as well, made for me as a gift!

aaand the Arknights Drabble Collection by wolfgirlsmooches, the FiaExu sections :3

... aand of course, the one I'm most proud of?

Night Running BAYBEEEEEEE

TexLapp:

1 - ...about my absolute favorite of their scenes and why I love it so much.

a tie between the sexually charged chocolate feeding (for obvious reasons) and the truck scene. the truck scene has a place in my heart specifically because it is the most direct homage Arknights has made to Yakuza/Lika A Dragon, specifically to Majima's various truck stunts!

9 - ...what my ideal endgame for them is.

what Kiryu and Majima end up having: a bittersweet, tenuous rivalry that at the same time is lined by an understanding that only they are allowed to kill each other, no one else.

Exusiai:

5 - ...if I feel like the writers mistreat them or if the story would be better if they were taken down a peg.

please for the love of god let her participate in laterano events i'm begging on my knees it's literally her place of birth

7 - ...the scene that I think adds depth to their character or the relationship this character has with someone.

2-7 after. despite an earlier comment of Exusiai's showing she still has a lot to learn about Infected, this is one of the first... and also few examples we get of a Sankta directly sympathizing with others.

other examples of this always come from Ezell and herself, which I think is no coincidence.

the anime emphasizes this further by having her get mad on the Infected's behalf

Gavial:

17 - ...how well they'd do if they got dropped in a horror movie.

gavial is half serious, half gag character. that gag half protects her from any serious harm a horror movie villain could do to her.

20 - ...my queer headcanon for them. Unless they're canonically queer, in which case whether or not I think they're good representation or kinda badly explored.

Bisexual, demiromantic!

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

Jonsa Parallel: Stirring Jon Into Action - one that reiterates who Jon was protecting in 8x06

In 6x04, we get a scene where Jon is about to embark on a journey to head South after what happened in 6x03 (and his murder):

(sorry I couldn't find the scene on YouTube to link; HBO is coming hard for GoT clips all of a sudden, so far purely Targaryen/Dany/Jon-centric)

He's done. "My watch has ended." He tells Edd he'll go South and get warm. Despite Edd mentioning the NK (which we know that Jon has been laser-focused on since HardHome, why he let the Wildlings past the Wall, and then got murdered for it), Jon has made up his mind. He's leaving and that's that.

But then we hear the horn and the call to open the gate. Sure enough, we see this in the next shot (after Jon with Edd behind him):

Sansa is shown first as the doors slowly open, then Brienne and then Podrick. We see Jon's reaction to her arrival and the interaction between them after that. Even though Jon has no interest in fighting Ramsay or anyone really, he is sure of one thing: he's not letting Sansa (the only family left to him that he knows of at this point) out of his sight. He makes that clear with the dialogue from the fireplace scene.

Then they get Ramsay's letter. Even then, as horrified as he is by what Ramsay has told them about Rickon and sees Sansa's own horror, he still seems hesitant to do what needs to be done. Especially when hearing outnumbered they're most likely going to be. It's only when Sansa grabs his hand and tells him they need to save Rickon and Winterfell, that she gets him to listen, that he finally agrees. Which leads to him (and Sansa) amassing an army to fight the NK.

Make no mistake, it's Sansa who stirs him into action. Not Edd, not Davos, not Tormund, and certainly not Melisandre. Even after hearing the threat Ramsay posed to Rickon, to Winterfell (and the North by extension), to the Wildlings, etc.

He is given a new purpose so naturally this scene:

Is soon replaced by this scene:

And Edd is there to see Jon switch to his new role/purpose:

This is Jon going into his new arc. And what propelled him into it? Sansa.

Then we have 8x06:

No matter what Tyrion mentions (including being the shield that guards the realms of men), the people, Tyrion himself, Jon himself, even Arya (in conjunction with Sansa), Jon is not prepared to take action. Even after the KL massacre where a million innocent people were burned alive for no reason. Even after Arya warned him about himself (and Sansa). It's only when Tyrion says that Sansa won't have a choice, that Jon is then gotten through to. It's when Dany confirms that those who oppose her won't have a choice, that he then knows what it means "for those he loves most". It's Sansa again that stirs him into action. And we get:

It's Sansa who gets him to act, that has him taking on the two threats to her (and Westeros), and Ramsay who was an immediate threat to her. And it was even Sansa who got Ned to act (choosing to confess his treason & dishonor himself), to make the same choice in 1x09 that Jon did in 8x06.

And bonus:

Does Jon's reaction to first seeing it was Sansa look familiar?

Not to mention they have the obvious callback to "forgive me" which Jon doesn't answer here explicitly (because 1) it's unfinished/open-ended between them & 2) he needed to get Bran's confirmation here that he did the right thing). And of course the hug:

(notice how Brienne and Tormund are in the 6x04 hug shot btw - love that it's just more proof in the pudding for this whole post)

It was always about Sansa.

[invinciblerodent]

oh, I'm about to make Iona so much worse of a person.

because i had a thought. and it being as obvious as it is, i feel kinda weird not havign noticed it before now.

until now, I had her be mostly just... ambivalent about the act 1 seductions. I thought that (despite fully knowing that Astarion is trying to manipulate her, I mean with her 18 CHA, his obviously rote attempts were not that hard to spot) she'd go into it because, well, she's not looking for a Prince Charming, and she could do a lot worse than him for just a couple fun romps with a convenient body. But finally finding the reason for her to counter-manipulate him (that's been tbh staring me in the face) totally changed that whole early dynamic for me.

From the very beginning, as a thematic parallel of sorts, I already had her fleeing from both her ex(?)-husband, and the entire magehunter community in which she had been living. (.... kind of a long story).

I had her preening in finally getting to not just show, but be praised for a part of her that's been itching to come out (her magic), and I had her take back her maiden name without thinking, and reveling in being as close to free as she could be after 35-ish years of playing the part of the obedient, sweet housewife.

I also already had her secretly fearing that one day they'd come after her, but at the same time thinking that Herric, her husband, would rather lie to everyone and say that he had killed her in the skirmish (like he had been meaning to), than admit that a sorcerer not only had been living under his nose and sharing his bed, but had also given him the slip, once found out.

But if I have her thinking "well, only what's SURE is for sure", and starting a relationship for the sake of protection, that's a very nice mirror held up to Astarion's own manipulation.

Then, it works out really nicely how she could quickly evaluate the entire party-situation in her mind, coldly tally up pros and cons for each of her traveling companions, and decide that... well, if it comes to being safe from something like the Emissaries, she needs someone like a lover that's unequivocally by her side. Preferably someone who looks dangerous enough for their very presence to intimidate, and/or someone who's either just passionate enough, or just crooked enough to have no real moral qualms about protentially slaughtering a whole village for her.

Lae'zel was kind of a viable option, but Iona didn't want it to be something that's only physical bliss on the other person's part: she needed them at least a little bit in love with her.

Wyll was the other end of the spectrum there: she could have had him wrapped arnoug her finger (or so she thought), but if things got hairy, she didn't think he'd have ever agreed to taking part in a sorely needed bloodbath. The exact same goes for Gale (honest enough, easy on the eyes, but far too righteous), and Shadowheart, well... she might have been sort of okay with the potential for slaughter, but, to put it simply, she was just not scary enough. A Sharran may be a Sharran, but you just need to look at her for one second to see that she's only about as intimidating as a basket of kittens.

In the end, it came down to a decision between Astarion and Karlach, and while Iona would have felt terrible, just absolutely wretched choosing and using the feelings of someone as kind as Karlach, she couldn't deny that thrusting a tall, musclebound tiefling that's literally on fire between herself and Herric would have been a very powerful deterrent. And Astarion, well, he had both significant advantages of 1.) already trying to seduce her himself (and thus making her feel the least bad, after all, she's just playing along with a game he had started), and 2.) not having that many visible hangups about indiscriminate murder for personal gain.

...... And so what if her heart constricted slightly when he looked up at her through those impossibly long lashes, telling her about his vampirism (score one for the "inherently intimidating" category) and being persecuted and mistrusted because of who he is, which he cannot help no matter what (which, as a sorceress with a past in a magehunter cult -not that he knows-, fucking relatable).

So what if playing pretend and trading flirtatious quips back and forth with a handsome man who seemed to have the decency to at least pretend to like her before inviting her to share his bed was the most fun she had had with someone in literal decades.

So what if they had been spending more time just on their own than with anyone else (being both elves, and having at least four hours each night), and quickly started communicating with their eyes only. (With her honey tongue and his sticky fingers, there's not one pocket or purse that's safe.)

And, honestly, so what if she catches herself trying to make him laugh, and delighting in her surprisingly easy success doing so. So what if her body responds to his with arousal every time she "graciously allows" him to feed. So what if each detail learned about his past makes her feel absolutely rotten, despicable for doing essentially the exact same bloody thing to him as so many before.

Of course, in the end it was him who made the final choice for her, by propositioning her openly (honestly, a frustratingly unsubtle, amateurish move), but... it's not like she hadn't been thinking that it might soon be time. It's not like she wasn't wondering how long she can keep danglig that proverbial carrot in front of his nose without giving a taste of more than her blood. And, well, him being able to tell that his bite gets her strangely hot... is a setback, but hey, they both could (and have) done much worse for much less.

I'm unsure how things progress in act 2 with this in mind, but I'm thinking that she abandons this whole plan-thing for good (and to no little frustration) after she has her little heartbreak over that playful "I love you" at the party. She'd be self-aware enough to realize then that yeah, at that exact point this was no longer about manipulation, OR about just (strangely good, fun) sex (with someone she genuinely does like) for her.

For a little while I think she'd try to kind of distance herself from him (which gives him some opportunity to think "oh shit what'd I do wrong, did she not like it the second time"), right until she'd realize that she fucking misses him in like a day (what the fuck. what. what the fuck. hey, heart, what the fuck.), and that actually, if the choice is between losing whatever this is between them and having a deep rothé shit directly down her throat, she'd be genuinely tempted to choose the rothé.

And when he finally confesses to her that he had been manipulating her for protection, I imagine that there is a part of her that's... almost fighting back an incredulous laugh. Because while she had abandoned that plan long, long ago, it's still very much a... "well, pot, meet kettle" situation.

anyway im sleepy imma go take a nap and not think about this becuase im making myself sad

[love-toxin]

loser's club initiation vol II - eddie munson

volume one

plot: you've been dragged into eddie's little club with some conditions in place, but even so, it seems like it might be more fun than you expected. a place where you can be yourself, such a rarity for someone like you--until a certain someone encroaches on your new home, and starts what may be the end of your life as you know it, both in the good way and the bad.

cws: gn!reader, outcast!angelface, violence, fighting, derogatory language, blood/bruises, mild trauma bonding, angel goes into detail about their abuse/foster care, hurt/comfort, confessions, fluff, enemies to lovers. (see prev part for extended tags!)

a/n: I'm glad everyone liked part 1! ty for the reblogs and love <3 enjoy your angela skate smash scene ;9

word count: 6.8k

It's no time at all that you're on your way down the hall towards the room where Hellfire Club is held, Eddie with a spring in his step as he leads the way. Getting there seemed to be the easy part–he acted as a lookout to make sure nobody was around each hallway he was unfamiliar with as far as routine, beckoning you along when the coast was clear. And when you two got to the way he normally took, he pulled you down a few side hallways and through a couple empty classrooms to get to the meeting. He really didn't need to grab your arm to pull you along, you would've stopped if you wanted to and he wouldn't be able to move you, as you had already proven. But there's so much excitement in his gait that you really don't think it matters, up until the moment he lays his hands on the double doors and pushes them open with a flourish, exposing the dim room lit up with stage lights and the gaggle of students crowded around the long table that all turn to look at you two.

You recognize a few from around, and a few that sound familiar based off the many descriptions Eddie has blabbed to you about in class. There's the guys from his band–Clouded Coffin? Or–no, Corroded Coffin, that's it–as well as a few younger kids, freshmen with "high potential" as he describes it, which include the kid brother of the incredibly popular Nancy Wheeler, Lucas and his little sister Erica, and Dustin Henderson, the kid who once tripped over your bookbag in the cafeteria and ran like hell like he thought you were going to eat him. But, shockingly, he doesn't seem to feel that way now, in fact his face seems to light up when he sees you–and so do the others, a few whispers being exchanged as you follow on the heels of their dungeon master into the sacred playing room.

"Silence, adventurers! And welcome our newest-"

"Potential."

"-party member!" You know Eddie's little spiels and dramatics so well you could see that ploy from a mile away, but despite your interruption the group claps for you in quite the spirited way. Feels as though he may have teased your arrival before you had even agreed to join, which is just so Eddie. Your eyes roll as he grabs your wrist and pulls you over to a separate table off to the side, while imploring the others to ready themselves for battle while he flips through his manuals and picks up everything you'll need to start playing. They devolve into mindless chatter, and you take the chance to clear something up while none of them are listening.

"...By the way. You'd better forget I said all that shit, Munson. Or your ass is grass." You mutter close enough that only he can hear, but you don't turn your head to make it seem less suspicious.

"Already forgotten." He holds his hands up in surrender, though his preoccupation with sorting out your necessities for a rousing game of D&D soon takes precedence. But you suppose there's little else you can say or do–you're already here, anyways.

"I don't even know why I said that…"

"Don't beat yourself up over it. S'fine. Like I said, totally forgotten." He grins, before plopping the pile of things he's gathered into your arms. "Now, it's time to prove yourself against the forces of evil."

The two of you move back over to the table, and he heads towards the seat at the very end, opposite where his DM screen sits and a throne of sorts resides. You're sure that particular seat is reserved for Eddie, but he passes it by and pulls the only empty chair out for you to plop yourself down on. And you do, because…you don't have a reason not to, but it's weird. You've never really had someone do a gesture like that for you, and especially not before they lean over you so closely that you can smell their cologne. A little cheap by the muskiness of it, but still on the nicer-smelling end than you would expect for someone of Eddie's reputation.

"Alright. You know the basics, right? Class, race, weapons, leveling?" He's testing the waters. Seeing if you really are as knowledgeable as he thinks you claimed to be. Which you didn't, but that doesn't mean you haven't picked up a thing or two or twelve from all his excited chatter in your ear during English.

"I wasn't born yesterday, Munson. Gimme five, and I'll be ready." He steps back and sweeps his arms out, graciously allowing you the floor before he hustles over on light feet to the throne and throws himself down into it. Henderson leans over to steal a glance at your page as your DM quickly scribbles some notes behind the screen, and his question pricks your ear like he's poking at it with a needle.

"You wanna be an orc?" If you remember correctly, Eddie hadn't mentioned any orc party members, nor many orc npcs. Based on his many, varied descriptions of the campaign and the adventures they've gone on already, the party is adventuring in an area where orcs aren't nearly as common.

"Orcs are cool, dumbass. Uruk-hai orcs are cool, at least." You don't even notice it, but Eddie is struck dumb by that. Not only are you familiar with D&D and know enough to make a character on the fly, but only now he's finding out that you've been reading fucking Tolkien under his nose? Has he just been blind the last few months?

"O-Oh, yeah, totally! Th-That's what I meant–super cool, they're way cool." Dustin's backpedaling could win a bronze medal at least, but you just click your tongue and keep writing, much to his relief. He's clearly still scared of you, but Erica looks over on your other side to see what you're taking down, seemingly unfazed by your stature and your reputation. Eddie's mentioned she's a middle schooler "but she's smart as hell, way smarter than me," in his words, so you're not surprised she hasn't got the same opinion of you as everyone else.

"Lemme guess: intimidation's gonna be your highest stat?" You can't help but like her sass, her brow raised like she's already delivering judgement on your answer. She's got the kind of arrogance–confidence, in her case–that reminds you of yourself, save for the fact that you were a lot more uncontrolled and angry at her age. Lucas bumps his sister with his elbow in a bid to get her to quiet down–maybe he's afraid you'll eat him, too–but all you do is serve her an "obviously" and she seems to get the picture.

"So you're not so scary, huh? You're just a big, closet nerd?" A collective breath is held at that, the room falling so quiet that the scrape of a chair moving would resonate like a knife on stone. You look to her, brow low and intimidating, and spare one of the precious seconds you have to finish this sheet to answer her.

"Not really closeted if nobody ever asked." The lull of your voice, void of any real malice, seems to calm them and the group of heads turn back to their pages, their DM, or their minis laid out in formation. And with a flutter of your sheet as you place it down flat, you pluck an orcish-looking character from the little group of minis that Eddie has off to the side, and plant it firmly on the edge of the map. "Done."

"That was quick," Mike remarks, leaning back in his seat just a touch to see if he can get a glance at your sheet–but Jeff grabs his chair and pulls it back from two legs to four, the thud of them hitting the ground rousing them all to attention, and their eyes are quickly drawn to Eddie as he stands and starts giving his spiel.

"Vecna's Palace looms in the distance, atop a hill surrounded by an ocean of blood. An army awaits you at the front gates, frothing and thrumming with rage, eager to rip any intruders limb from limb–so what shall you do, adventurers? Will you turn back?"

He looks at you, winks, and reaches over his screen to slide your character into the middle of the party, front and center, right where you should be. Your orc barbarian looks fierce enough on the battlefield, it fills you with a sense of pride, like a surge of courage that comes to you so rarely. Introductions are short and sweet, your weapon is readied and your armour fastened–and with that, the journey begins.

There's laughter shared, companionship, rivalry, loss. You and Erica end up teaming up against the first few waves of enemies, with your barbarian cutting down the skirmishers while her rogue, Lady Applejack, takes out the sorcerers and high level spellcasters as you make your distractions. The freshmen team of Mike, Lucas, and Dustin rush ahead and work together to solve the puzzles while the Corroded Coffin boys barricade the doors to the castle you've infiltrated, your entire party scouring the palace for treasure and trying to avoid the booby traps and swarms of undead soldiers on the way. And when you meet with Vecna and your party members start dropping like flies, you're driven into a corner–and you have one last option up your sleeve. Bloodied, alone, and running out of time, you use your Barbarian's Rage action to buff your rolls and go out in a blaze of glory to try and take Vecna down with you.

You shake your hit dice in your hands, praying with dwindling hope for a miracle. And when they clatter to the table and roll to a stop, you see that miracle with your own eyes–not only do you hit, but you land a critical with a nat 20, along with a solid 12 to your damage that's doubled and then buffed some more. When your head tilts to look up at Eddie and everyone's holding their breath, he shows off a bright smile–a surprisingly pretty one–and swats Vecna's mini over with a grand sweep of his hand before clutching the space over his heart, and gurgling and choking with as much intensity as he can muster before he collapses behind the table and mock dies. The lot of you jump from your seats and explode into joyful screams and cheering almost immediately, and Eddie pops right back up to join the festivities with so much satisfaction on his face that he looks like he's in pure bliss. Undoubtedly riding the high of a successful campaign, surely, but his eyes are also locked on you. And he claps for you quietly amid the raucous uproar, and throws a wink your way that you only just manage to catch, but you don't quite see how much affection he holds in that gaze as he can't tear his eyes off of you even though yours drift to other places.

Once the session has drawn to a close, you finally manage to come back to the real world and notice how breathless you are. The adrenaline's kept you out of your seat, and the cheering and groaning at every win and loss has almost completely wiped you out. And yet, the huge smile on your face as you drop back into your chair is more than enough to betray just how much fun you've had over the last couple hours.

"Oh? Is that a smile?" Eddie finally pipes up, and all eyes turn to you with huge grins on their own faces. You just want to hide, but with Eddie leaning over the table on his hands and chuckling at you fidgeting with your fingers, it's impossible to scurry away. "I think you've all cracked the orc's facade!"

"Oh, shut up." It's got no back to it this time, no bite. You're too happy to really mean it, as is evident by the way you turn your head to try and hide how big your smile really is.

"Or, should I say, our warrior's facade? What do you say?" Eddie extends a hand out as a noble gesture, the party holding their collective breath as they await your answer.

It should come easily, once you've sobered up a little and come back down to earth, swallowed the adrenaline back into your throat. No. You always tend to stick to your guns, and you're still of the opinion that getting involved in something like this is a bad idea, despite having more fun in the last few hours than you have….ever. But when you meet Eddie's gaze and he looks so eager, so much sweetness in those big, brown eyes like he's a puppy waiting to be praised, it just….changes your mind, even for just a moment. It allows those words to squeeze themselves from your tight throat, without thought to whether you'll come to regret them later or not.

"For now…I'll journey with you."

The rest of the club explode into cheers once more, Sinclair's younger sister eagerly holding out a hand that you happily high-five.

And as much as you all are still riding that high, it's definitely time to pack up. With really nothing of your own to gather up, you help Eddie fold up his maps and put away the minis into his bag, the two of you making short work of his spread that he spent so long carefully putting together. It's admirable, in that Eddie-like way.

"You did really well. Spectacular. Couldn't have rolled better myself–and you should be glad I didn't." He whispers with a smirk to top it off, and it doesn't vanish even when you scoff and tell him to shove it. But as you do, your reach for Vecna's mini extends too far with your attention elsewhere, and your fingers brush the knuckles of his hand he has on the table. They graze over his rings and come to a stop at the peak of his hand before you realize it, and when you do, you pull yours away and turn your head to hide the embarrassment of such a tender gesture. It was unintentional, yes, but you hate to think that Eddie's gonna get the wrong idea like he's prone to doing. But for once, he shuts his damn mouth–looks at you like he's in a daze, sure, and his head is cocked with his eyes half-lidded, but he at least doesn't pipe up with some asinine comment or flirtation that you can't handle.

The rest of the packup is quiet, at least between you two. The others are cheering and sharing their favourite moments between each other, riding the high of the post-session glory as they collect their bags and count their dice, too caught up in themselves to notice the silence and the shared looks between their beloved DM and their newest, potential, party member. By the time you make it outside, you finally manage to work up those words you've been wanting to say since the moment it all ended.

"I hate to admit it, Munson, but you were right. That was the most fun I've had in…a really, really long time." Eddie does what looks like a little victory dance, pumping his fist in the air and hopping down the next step to the pavement as you two walk out into the night air, the other Hellfire club members wandering out behind you and eagerly chatting away about the game.

"So? Can we call you an official member? I'll get you your own shirt!" Another of those rare smiles crosses your face, one you can't help even when you try to turn your head away to hide it. But just as you open your mouth to answer, a voice comes out from nowhere.

"Hey, freak!"

"Oh, shit." Eddie breathes quietly, his face visibly dropping. It's Jason, beloved basketball team captain and local dickhead, approaching your party uninvited. You may not have liked Eddie that much at first, but Jason is on the next level of douchery. And it's late at night, well past getting dark–and Jason has a small crowd of his groupies on his heels, all dressed in their basketball uniforms. In no way can this be good news–there's clearly a reason he waited until nobody else was around but you, and them.

"See you've got a new loser to add to your little circus." Eddie looks panicked. Scared. He made a promise and he broke it, obviously too caught up in the excitement of having you join that he neglected his end of the bargain, and you can feel his anxiety from where you stand beside him as he he opens his mouth to deflect that accusation.

"We aren't-"

"You want something, dickhead?" You've got a hand on Eddie's chest before you even realize it, pushing him back behind you and stepping forward in the same motion. Eddie reaches out his hand to try and grab your arm, to try and stop you, but you just shake it off without breaking your gaze off of the blond.

"So the ogre speaks! What a surprise, huh fellas?" So weak. So performative. You've always hated guys like this, ones who rely so heavily on the approval of everyone else, because they have so little personality themselves. At least someone like Eddie and the kids in Hellfire can embrace who they are, whether people like it or not–but guys like Jason are a dime a dozen, you would know, you've had quite a few Jasons making your life hell over the years.

"And here we all thought you were just a mute. Or maybe that was just your weirdo family beating it out of you." Stings a little. But not enough to make you back down, not even close. Jason steps closer like he's trying to intimidate you, but all he does is get within close combat range. Less than five feet. Barbarians get a bonus if they're empty-handed. And you've got a group of kids at your back, looking on in fear for what might happen next–ones who can't fight for themselves, just like the villagers in the town you saved from Vecna's curse.

"You their bodyguard now, or something?" You've faced bullies like this your entire life. Your real parents, your foster parents, your siblings, your caretakers, and every person at every school that thought the best way to pump themselves up was to beat on the one person who wouldn't say a word, who wouldn't be believed. So yes, right now, you are their fucking bodyguard, and your eyes grow cold and dark as you repeat the words you've picked up from a life that a spoiled kid like Jason Carver couldn't even have nightmares about.

"None of your fucking business, fairy boy."

You can hear Dustin's awed "Holy shit!" from behind you, and Jason's expression immediately twists into anger. Oops. Struck a nerve, did you?

"You and your friends are fucking dead, Munso-!"

One of the nice things about being so closed off is that nobody ever expects you to punch first. But Jason is thrown to the ground in seconds after you hook him in the jaw as he lunges forward, your whole weight thrown into that one punch, and his back hits the pavement and your body thuds against his as you get on top of him and start swinging.

It's like a trance, you can distantly hear the muffled yelling and cheers of both groups, feel Eddie and Gareth trying to pull you off when Jason flails back and cracks you across the face, the pointed edge of his class ring slicing open a shallow cut from your cheek to the opposite brow and causing you to bleed all over him. He's obviously never been in a real fight, one that means life or death, because he just keeps wriggling and trying to land concentrated hits, like he's trying to look cool over doing damage. But you're being brutal with purpose. His fight dwindles quickly as his nose bloodies and grows purple because it's definitely broken, his eye swells up, and he starts spitting and drooling blood as his consciousness starts to fade. But as you let that rage circle down the drain with one last punch that cracks his head back against the tarmac, your world comes back into focus almost completely and Eddie's rings are digging into your armpit as he and Gareth finally manage to wrench you off, your dungeon master screaming at you all to run as a few teachers and the basketball coach hurry out of the main building and start barreling towards the scene. Likely heard the screaming, and you get one last glimpse of your homeroom teacher yelling at you to stop running before you're pulled around the corner of the building and dash towards the side parking lot.

"Holy shit," Eddie breathes, his grip tight on you even as Gareth's loosens to let you go.

"You're fucking nuts! You just beat the shit out of Jason Carver! You raged, like, for real! Holy shit!" Dustin, however, is still completely in awe. He'd probably high five you if he got the chance, but Wheeler and the elder Sinclair are dragging him by the sleeve towards their bikes that they've parked right next to the other member's cars.

"Everyone disperse! Nobody saw what happened here, you were already on your way home, right?!" A collective "right!" arises from the group at Eddie's call, and you watch through bleary eyes as each of them hurry off into their cars to drop each other off, hopefully all taking back roads in case the cops have been called. Dustin, Mike, and Lucas rip out of their spots and kick up a spray of gravel as they tear off into the night, with Erica hopping on the back of her brother's bike and hitching a ride back home. And in the meanwhile, you follow Eddie to his van and pile into it with him as he starts it up, and peels away from the school just as you see the coach hurrying around the corner of the building looking pissed. Probably for the fact that you tore up his star player's face, which you can't help but feel smug about even though it'll land you in a world of trouble later.

Even so, you're well on your way outta there, Eddie's cassette blasting Iron Maiden as he tears off and skids out of the lot before he tunes it way down to avoid suspicion. Good call on his part, but now that the adrenaline is wearing off, the pain is setting in as you pull on to a dark road and your grin fades as everything starts coming in clearer.

"I don't know why you didn't leave me there. I started it–now all of you are gonna take the fall." Eddie shakes his head wildly, curly locks bouncing about his face aside from already jostling about with every bump in the road. He's coming down a side road with few streetlights, one that you could easily duck out of into a driveway if you spotted those red and blue lights in the distance.

"Trust me, you weren't the one to start it. But you did finish it, Jesus…" His eyes dart towards the rearview mirror, surveying it closely until he finally takes a sharp, deep breath–and a grin splits across his face.

"That was so fucking awesome!" Eddie slams his hand on the steering wheel, and makes you flinch from the impact–luckily he's too focused on navigating the dark roads to really notice, though. But his joy is what gets you, that unbridled burst of giddiness that presents in the way he bounces in his seat and grins, all teeth. The dark shadows of night casting over your face have never been such a blessing as they are now, to hide the tweak of your lips as you smile to yourself, too.

"..Yeah. Fucking awesome." Your head hits the seat behind you as you slump back into it, releasing a tight breath from your chest as the adrenaline wears down.

It's a long drive with nothing but one of his tapes playing, and aside from a glance spared towards you and a quiet, breathless "you sure you're okay?" that you answer with a nod. Despite bringing a hand to your cheek and pulling it away to find it covered and dripping in blood. But that long silence is cut for sure eventually when you stop in front of his trailer, hop out the door on to the crunchy gravel beneath your feet, and he hurries you up the porch and inside the front door.

It feels a bit like you're in a daze. The pain is there, but not really, not severely, even though you know the gash is bad enough to scar. It might be your body protecting you against the damage, but it's even easier to distract yourself from it when you're watching your dungeon master flutter about in front of you. Eddie's doing what looks like the flight of the bumblebee, dashing from one end of the trailer to the other–first he sits you down in his room on his mattress, then he's grabbing the strewn contents of a first aid kit, water, a rag, and finally a frosty can of Coke from the fridge that he pushes into your hands to hold to your bruised temple. When he's finally got everything, he plonks himself down next to you on the bed and moves you to face him, so he can pour some rubbing alcohol onto the rag and start dabbing at the bleeding cut across your face. After all that, you feel like you can finally manage to take a breath–and it looks like Eddie finally has some time for contemplation too, if the concentrated look on his face as he works is any indication.

"...You know something? You're the first person to ever stand up for me."

"Yeah, well, you needed it." You cringe at the sting of the alcohol, but it wears thin quickly and it's easier to take–around your eye, though, that's the most tender spot by far.

"I wish you wouldn't have. Your parents are gonna kill me when they see this." He's saying it in jest, trying to help you relax, but he doesn't know. How could he? It's been hard to really wrap your head around that when Eddie isn't also living in the reality you are, but now that you're a bit closer, you think you understand him a little more.

"My parents have done worse to me, Eddie. I'm sure they won't even notice." Oh, you hate that look he gives you. It's not just pity, which you already despise–but worry. Eddie's got a look of terror in his eyes, one that you've seen in the mirror so often after almost every blowup at home. Every explosion that rocks you to your core and reminds you that you're nowhere near safe, only to have to wipe it all away and pretend things are normal so you can head off to school and act the part. It's…too familiar. Eddie's not the kind of person you would ever want to see that terror residing in, either.

"What…what's with your family, anyways? Er, sorry, you don't have to answer that. S'none of my business."

"No, it isn't." You didn't mean to say it with so much venom, but it definitely came out that way.

You just sigh, barely even flinching now when the alcohol burns your wounds that Eddie's doing his best to clean. The headache you've got thrumming in your ears is making every other pain feel less intense.

"...They aren't really my parents. Foster family."

"Oh,"

"Yeah. They're…well, they're…awful. Sometimes more awful than my real parents were." It's strange to say such things without it being in an office, or a closed bedroom, to someone in a suit and tie or with a little nametag to try and show that they're friendly. You've never really had anyone other than the people who get paid to listen to talk to–but knowing Eddie now, and knowing that he can keep a secret, or at least try to, you find it all spilling out of you in a way that's never as easy with anybody whose job it is to protect you.

"I can't even explain how it feels to be running from something, scared out of your mind that it's gonna kill you, or worse–and then be forced to sit next to it and act like everything's fine. Like you're not still terrified, and angry, but just totally helpless."

Eddie looks at you in a way that says so much more than words could–like he's telepathically telling you "We might understand each other more than we think." Somehow, it's more comforting than if he had just said it out loud.

"I'm not what people think I am. I don't want to look mean. I want to have friends. I want to enjoy what I enjoy, I want to have fun and just tell the whole world to fuck off–but I'm just trying to survive. I don't have the energy."

Once you start, it's nearly impossible not to keep going. Never have you met someone who was so easy to talk to, who's such a good listener that you feel almost no fear or anxiety when you confess your darkest truths to him. Your fingers dig into your own thighs through your pants, you're way more tense but it floods away when you meet Eddie's eyes again. He's not interrupting. Not asking more questions. Not even prying for more details–just listening, waiting for you to continue with a hand sliding over yours to hold it, and the other putting aside the cloth he's got that's soaked with blood.

"I really like you, Eddie, and I…I like Hellfire. But I don't have any safe place to go afterwards. School isn't safe, neither is home. I have no sanctuary where I don't have to…I-I'm just…stuck." And stuck is exactly where you are. Because Eddie seems to have no words for that, nothing to say to make it all okay and to erase those pains for you, whether he wants to or not. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe he's just waiting for you to stop talking.

"I'm sorry. I should go. This isn't your problem, but…thanks for listening to me." You get up from his bed with a grunt, but just before you turn the corner to step out of his room and walk home, you hear the rustling sounds of Eddie's clothes as he stands.

"I-I'll be there for you!" You stop on a whim, a hand held against the wall as your head turns to look over your shoulder, slowly. You really think you're imagining it, but Eddie…his demeanor says otherwise. "I can be your safe place. My home. Hellfire. All of it–we can make it safe for you."

"Eddie-" He comes at you fast, and you flinch–but he takes your hands back in his, and you feel that's where they belong.

"You can live with me. You don't have to go back there, I'll keep you safe." Silence hangs in the air, and makes it heavy. Live with him. He's offering something so intense like it's nothing. Saying it out in the open like it doesn't fuel the fire burning in the pit of your stomach that you just want to put out.

"They'll all hate you even more, Eddie." That quiver of your voice is just pathetic, that soft break in your tone like you're getting ready to cry. You can hear words that aren't yours in your head, drilling it into your skull. Stop crying. Nobody's gonna feel bad for someone like you.

"I don't care. They can hate me all they want. It won't change how I feel about you–nothing can." His head lowers to get closer to you, to make sure his words hit home, that they don't miss your ear. It's fanning the flames even hotter, he doesn't realize just what he's doing to you.

"You don't understand, Eddie!" You raise your voice, exasperated. Those thoughts are winning, driving your hands into Eddie's chest as you try to push him away–but he's the one that stands unbudging this time, his fingers still clasping yours with his rings rubbing against your skin.

"I don't! I don't have a damn clue! But I don't care–I won't leave you alone! I'll spare whatever you need so you can be happy. Because I…I want you," That squeeze almost hurts, that tight, suffocating clench around your hands that feels like he's not trying to keep you there–but that he's trying not to let go, not to let you get so far away that he can't reach you anymore. "I want you to be part of our party. So don't leave…I like this side of you. I like you."

"I..I like you too, Eddie." What kind of 'like' does he mean? You can see glimpses of it in his eyes, but is that the truth? Do those sweet, brown eyes reflect yours? Are they a mirror, or are they a ripple of something distorted, something that could never be despite how much you never realized you wanted it?

Neither of you can tell when he loosened his grip, but when you touch his face, holding it gently in your hands, his breath hitches and the whole world stops–your whole world does, because right now it's standing in front of you and looking down into your eyes.

"You…You've got really pretty eyes, Eddie." You swallow, try not to gulp too loudly, to shatter this precious, peaceful moment that you rarely get. If you could shift your weight from foot to foot, you're sure you would. But to move would rustle the quiet and push this moment too far along, it might end before you're ready to lose it.

"So do you. They're beautiful, like…little stars." You can't remember the last time a compliment has ever made you so flustered, or even the last time you got a compliment at all–and you just sink yourself into Eddie's chest, burying your head in his neck as he laughs, breaks the silence, and kisses your temple.

"Why do you think I bothered you every single day to join Hellfire?"

He tilts his head to lean into yours, his cheek nuzzling yours as he turns to whisper in your ear. The snicker that jolts out of you at his tone turns to an uncharacteristically soft giggle, his arms as warm as a jacket as they slide around you, his hands coming to rest on the small of your back. You were right. For once, you were right.

"God, I love your laugh. I wanna hear it more. Every day." It's obvious now that this glimpse of happiness isn't one that's going to disappear with the slightest nudge, nor that those coveted compliments will stop throwing your heart into a fluttery skip. But you still squeeze him so tight, arms wrapped right back around him, nails clawing at his jacket as if to hook him into you, to keep him latched onto you so he couldn't move if he wanted to.

"...I don't wanna let you go, Eddie."

"You don't have to."

Eddie's lips graze the shell of your ear, the warmth that you realize is a kiss reducing your limbs to jelly as you so gently hang off him, relying on his borrowed strength to keep yourself upright. And he delivers, just as promised–you aren't going anywhere when you're leaning on him.

It hasn't hit you until now. This is your new reality. The cat and mouse-like chase that you and Eddie have been circling round and around and around doesn't have to end in nothing, in one last conversation as normal as it would any other day, and then nothing. You don't have to drift further and further and further away, your fingers just barely grazing each other's until you're so far out of reach that you wouldn't even recognize each other anymore. This scene won't end in sweat and a jolt as you sit upright in bed, blinking away the edges of sleep as your heart sinks, and you realize it was all just a beautifully upsetting dream. Eddie isn't just an escape from the present, or a fantasy to entertain to distract from the depressing abyss that is your doomed future. Eddie is your future. He can be, if you get that door to your heart to open just a crack–just enough to let him peek inside, whether or not he already knows what he'll find.

"...And now, everyone's gonna be talking about how you beat the shit out of Jason Carver." This time, he's met with silence, and the gentle pull away for him to look at you and evaluate the worry you wear on your face, with concern written all over his features…it's a new experience. You can't help but wear your anxiety as clearly as the pick that jostles around his neck on that taut chain.

"I'm also gonna be in a world of shit. I might…" You might get suspended, if you're lucky. Expulsion is what's really on your mind, but your stoic expression slowly splits into an absentminded smirk when another thought takes its place. "Can't wait to flip that asshole off when I pass him in the hall. Fights like a pussy."

"I'm sure anybody fights like a pussy compared to you. You put them all to shame." Eddie offers, and his smile brightens when you focus your attention back on his eyes. Big, sweet doe eyes, blinking and lashes fluttering so cutely as his focus turns down to your lips, then your eyes, then your lips again…and when he leans in, you don't lean back, and you don't brace either. You meet his lips where they're at, the kiss as firm as either of you expected from the other, and he squishes your mouth even deeper into it by grabbing at the back of your head–and getting a tempting fistful of your hair in the process–while you lean into it, your nails slipping up to his neck to leave crescent-shaped indents in his smooth, fair skin. He chuckles into your mouth, the vibrations soothing any residual worry about going too far, and the kiss ends not with either of you desiring it, but because you both need a good gasp of air before you can think about continuing.

"...and that scar's gonna look pretty fucking awesome." His bottom lip falls victim to those pretty teeth as he bites into it, his eyes hooded and stirring with something deeper than he was looking at you before. You wouldn't know, but this wouldn't be the first time he's done so–it's just the first time you noticed it. It doesn't feel too bad, but…it's definitely an ego stroke, and yet it feels like being humbled at the same time, because you've never gotten this kind of look from someone you actually want to reciprocate it to.

"Now, you know what we have to do, right?" An eyebrow raises. What more could he possibly want to accomplish this late at night? "We have to order pizza, get some beer, and watch some stupid cheesy movie until we pass out on the couch and forget all about this shit." Eddie counts each task off on his fingers, rings glinting as he devolves into giggles that end up mimicking yours when you join him. Nothing could feel safer or more comforting than that does right now.

"That sounds like a blast."

"Metal, one might say?" Fuck that cocky grin of his, the one that drives a shiver of desire straight into your heart that you know you won't be able to extract by force.

"Oh, shut up. Metal." He half-smiles, half-kisses you with a tight squeeze around your waist before he dashes off for the phone, leaving you to pick through his movie collection that you can spot from where you stand and find something dumb to watch.

"Dumbass.." You mutter it to yourself with a smile. You might have never gotten along with Eddie Munson until tonight. But you're positive that your whole life is gonna be different by the time tomorrow's morning comes, when you wake up on Eddie's chest with his hands in your hair, and the gentlest whisper of "God, I love you, my warrior…" when he thinks you're still slumbering away in his arms.

[cutepresea]

Isn't it odd Symphogear didn't get any normal length OAV or movie made, or even on the merch side more nendo or nendo petit made considering how popular it was in Japan? I know the fear was real with prods and manus during the first two seasons because they thought it was a fail project and didn't want to invest but after five seasons and five concerts? I don't know I feel like I'm missing data on why we were given the short stick compared to other popular animes...

Ah, I never really felt like that when it comes to the series (except for figures, but I get to that later in the post. I went on a bit of a tangent and it ended up longer than intended. Oops)

Five whole seasons

Four series of shorts

Enough character songs to have a box of 9 CDs released (doesn't include XDU songs)

Concerts that get released on blu-ray since G's (this one just feels like a bigger deal to me because season 1's in 2012 never got recorded or released)

A mobile game that's been running for 6 years and gets its own albums separate from the aforementioned box (there was another mobile game a decade ago that died pretty fast but nobody remembers that one, shhh...)

And a monthly spinoff manga that has enough content for four volumes so far

...All feels like a miracle to me, especially for an anime not based on an existing manga, game, or light novel

Seriously, I love this series but I have no idea how G was greenlit

I'm still waiting to see what the new project is because there's still a possibility that it could be a movie or something. I just don't expect it anytime soon, whether it be a movie or an OVA, because Kaneko (co-creator and scenario writer for the series) is busy both designing and writing a RPG which he stated was something he wanted to do while not working on Symphogear since he was too busy to work on games while he was doing that (link is Japanese, but it's the interview where he said that)

Which, again, is probably why the new project is dated 20XX

Now if I were to talk about stuff I personally would want?

If it's a movie I'd like it to be completely new content but if they make some lengthier OVAs, I've been asking for an adaptation of 3.5 from XDU for a while since the Alexandria Incident gets mentioned in AXZ.

XDU's service isn't going to last forever and I'd hate to lose a canon side story like that when it does eventually end.

They could also do 4.5 but it isn't as high a priority for me because it serves more as an introduction to Noble Red than anything and outside of the short part between Fine and Enki, it felt weird coming out after XV ended

On a bit of a side note, I've said it before, but I wouldn't be too surprised if any new anime content is by Studio KAI instead of Satelight. A LOT of Symphogear's staff moved over there after XV ended which is why XDU's second OP was done by them.

Now merchandise, oh boy, yeah that subject has stung a bit over the years. The fact the only Nendos are from S1 really is sad

They want their friends to join them

Heck, Chris didn't even get a Figma back then like Hibiki and Tsubasa did

I can't believe it took as long as it did for Kirika, Shirabe, and Maria to get figures. Especially Maria, who didn't have one released until 2022.

And it is an actual crime that Miku still doesn't have one despite being around since season 1. That is Hibiki's Wife Sunshine y'all are ignoring. (Season 1 Miku with green hair when? 🤣)

Hobby Stock's set of scale figures they've been releasing and Good Smile's ACT MODEs are a step in the right direction though. There's also been more plushes in recent years which I personally really love.

One of my wishes is someone going back to G and making figures for that so we can get Black Gungnir Maria or Shenshoujing Gear Miku

The parallel world versions of everyone from XDU would be fun too but I'm not pushing my luck there. The other Hibiki technically already has one but it used an existing Hibiki figure as a base

And yes, I am begging for a game that isn't gacha. I'm a lover of action games and RPGs so I would love something along those lines. I'm not horribly picky about the specific type

[bibliophileiz]

Ranking Keira Knightley movies I've seen

Found this ranking I made of Keira Knightley movies in one of my old notebooks and had to share with the world this new year's eve (worth noting that some of them like Imitation Game and Anna Karenina weren't originally on the list, so I added them tonight)

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace - Keira Knightley is not in it enough. when she is, she's indistinguishable from Natalie Portman. 1/10

Princess of Thieves - baby Keira Knightley chops off all her hair and makes me bisexual. is a cutie with a reasonable amount of chemistry with the charming love interest. wins over grouchy dad by saving england and being good at archery. 8/10

King Arthur - Keira's acting is great but i don't think the writers knew what to do with her. i do love her costumes though. 5/10

Never Let Me Go - i barely remember anything about this movie. book was probably better. -1/10

Atonement - OMG!!! the PASSION. the YEARNING. this is the first tragic WWII romance i ever experienced and it DELIVERS. mostly though it's the green dress. the one she's wearing when she has sex with the faun from the narnia movies. that green dress belongs in Titanic or something illustrious. i don't think this movie's appreciated enough. i think it's time for a rewatch. 12/10

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms - little known (no one but my mom and i ever saw it) but holy SHIT is the world missing out. Keira puts on this high-pitched voice as the EVIL SUGAR PLUM FAIRY in a giant tuto. she is by far the best thing about the movie which unfortunately is lackluster in every way. 6/10 and all 6 are for her

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World - this movie should not be allowed to be so darn cute when it's about the literal apocalypse but it is and Keira is cute in it. she gets to go on a roadtrip with Steve Carrell in hopes of seeing her parents again before a giant meteor hits the earth and kills everyone. has a surprisingly touching ending. 8/10

Begin Again - i like anything where Keira sings. she's also a good role model for mark ruffalo's daughter in this. not my favorite John Carnye movie (that would be Sing Street which came out three years later) but definitely watchable. 7/10

Love Actually - why didn't they let Keira do anything in this movie? -2/10

Imitation Game - more tragic WWII stuff, though not as gutting as Atonement. Keira gets a turn playing the normal (albeit v. smart) person playing opposite Benedict Cumberbatch being weird. she does just as good a job as Martin Freeman while being way hotter. (also helps that the movie is better written than Sherlock.) her story isn't the tragic part and i'm not going to make jokes about Alan Turing who deserved much better than he got. 7/10

Anna Karenina - despite plalying the character whose name is the title, Keira was not in this enough. costumes were good but movie was approximately 1000 years long. still haven't forgiven my college boyfriend for making me watch it. -5/10

Pride & Prejudice - not my favorite Austen adaptation but you can't say Keira's not having the time of her life. she's a little giggly -- Elizabeth is more dry -- but she's definitely pretty and does a good job with the material given. Rosamund Pike may be the only person as good as her. 6/10

Bend It Like Beckham - the movie that launched a thousand lesbians. Keira gets put on the map as a tiny cute blond tomboyish lesbian soccer (ahem, *football*) player. she's a treat. 10/10

Pirates of the Caribbean - THE Keira Knightley movies. the dresses? check. the sword fighting? check. Pirate King with men falling at her feet? check, check, and check. best thing about the triology. got to kiss three dudes (sao feng doesn't count), gives a rousing third act speech, and gets to be the character who got the "keeps removing weapons from more and more illogical places on her person" trope. plus she sings! (a little.) disney did not deserve her and neither did any man in those movies. (orlando came closest though) 10 million/10

[imsailorpluto]

Bloodhounds (2023); obsession (ep 1 & 2 spoilers, kinda)

This series is definitely making me ask "What the hell did I just watch?" in the most bizarre way ever. It also made me feel a lot of things, which is most probably due to the entire cast being a bunch of handsome men.

And while it's mostly candy for the eyes, the acting is really good. The first episode is all about boxer Gunwoo, and how he got involved with the loan business, together with his fellow marine buddy Hong Woojin.

I can't deny I'm enjoying it even more than I should. But who wouldn't? That first scene was more than enough to glue my eyes to the screen, even though I have been excited about this drama ever since some gorgeous promo stills started circling around tumblr. And then the gif game kicked in, and pretty boy Woo Dohwan in the role of the boxer Kim Gunwoo flooded my entire dash, just like that.

Soon enough it was all about these two guys training hard. And it's still going. Not that I'm complaining. I'm loving their bromance.

Depictions of violence are on another level though. Honestly, I hate them for being so graphic and realistic. There is absolutely nothing good I can say about those since it's not my thing and never will be. Obviously it made me awfully uncomfortable, despite knowing it's just acting and sfx make up. I couldn't manage watching the end of 1st episode without covering my eyes and waiting for it to be over. Gunwoo taking the beatings like a beautiful piece of schnitzel was too much for my taste. Those metal fists punching him all over, the headbutts, and the face carving in the end left me in shock.

Even though I love scars and doing things out of spite, Gunwoo spitting into the handsome loan shark's face wasn't worth it. Let me just watch a series without having to look away...

The first episode wasn't enough to stop me to continue watching Bloodhounds and the only explanation is - they're all so pretty. And what comes after the horrors of 1st ep's ending is such a treat. Gunwoo is injured and standing tall and determined to pay off the debt, setting the record straight. And then comes crying at his doorstep while holding a bag of money, which was more than enough to buy his way into my heart. Kdrama villains are great, but beautifully broken good ones are even better, and Gunwoo is a really really good guy, injured on all levels possible. If that doesn't give you internal screams, I don't know what will... That was enough of a dopamine rush for me.

Watching first two eps of Bloodhounds made me realise the series gives us a taste of being in the middle of a fighting match. It's sort of a mental training based on punishment and reward system - for every enjoyable scene, comes an awful one which causes disgust, both in the mind and stomach.

Drinking scene in ep 2. Anyone?

Damn... Seriously though, who the hell drinks black label like an apple juice? They went straight for the jugular, triggering all kinds of psychophysical memories in most of us who got drunk on whisky at least once in a lifetime.

Ending of the 2nd episode is yet another traumatising anxiety inducing cliffhanger. I'm starting to wonder if it's going to be like this at the end of every episode; blood, violence, people getting beaten up like a sack of potatoes...

My point is, I'm enjoying the gorgeous cast and their acting but depictions of violence, not so much, and I don't know how long I'll last. It doesn't mean the series is poorly done, oh no, on the contrary, it's amazing. What I've watched so far is 10/10. So, let's just try and enjoy what we can, shall we.

On the positive note, I can't get myself to binge on this one, it really forces me to take longer pauses, which means I'll get to be more productive irl.

FINALLY! (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

Well, maybe it's time to take a step back from kdrama madness.

Endings give me "Oppa, I'm sad. Why sad? Give up!♡" vibes. Loving it, but dropping it isn't an option yet.

Who'd ever say I'd be thanking Woo Dohwan for temporarily curing my kdrama addiction, but that day has also come. Consider yourselves warned if you do choose to watch the series. It's definitely bittersweet for above mentioned reasons. As for the ending, I have no idea what happens, hopefully I'll get to that eventually, sharing a couple of thoughts & spoilers too.

Signing off, hope you all have a lovely week ahead of you. Thank you for reading my silly little scribbles (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

Till next time,

xx

Pluto

[repo-net]

Hi friend! As fun as Monaca was, it is good to see Nagisa is back! 💙 After “Monaca” ranked her friends, I’ve been wondering how you would rank the WOH in terms of your personal favorites? I’m assuming Nagisa is your favorite, but out of the others do you have a 2nd favorite, 3rd, 4th, 5th ect. or is it just Nagisa’s the best and the rest are kind of equal to you? (with the exception of perhaps Monaca?) Just curious but you don’t have to answer. Have a great day! 💕

Hello hello, thank you again for another ask! It was quite a fun week, I appreciated the small change in theme I took for a bit, but it's nice to finally have a refreshed and updated look again now that we're back to normal.

Ranking the Warriors of Hope, huh? I've been asked this question a few times before, but I'm not sure if I've done it here yet? I can't quite recall. I do have a personal ranking though that hasn't changed and likely won't ever change, but I'll skip number 1 since I think it's pretty obvious who's taking that spot.

5. Kotoko Utsugi

Kotoko's cute. I think she's entertaining and a lot of her lines hit the mark when she's actually allowed to have depth (something that DR tends to fail on), and she probably has my favorite design when it comes to the Warriors of Hope. Her personality is funny and I just wanna give her a hug because of the horrible messes she's been through.

But in the grand scheme of things and appreciating her overall character, I just can't overlook the clutter of mishandling of the themes in her writing. The game didn't treat it with nearly enough respect as they should've, from the weird as hell shots of her underwear, to the whole motivation machine... thing. I have an obvious issue with that entire segment, but I at least see why Kotoko would act in such a way. But the fact they turned it into a minigame...? With the instructions for it ending off by basically telling the player to not enjoy themselves too much? Leaves such a sour taste in my mouth.

For the same reason characters like Mikan are low on my tier lists (though I don't actually dislike or hate any character, the lowest grade I give is just a 'god, I really don't care at all'.), Kotoko gets the same grade. Fun character, horrible handling and presentation.

4. Jataro Kemuri

Y'know, there's a bit of a gap between Kotoko and this one. Not that big, but enough that I can decisively say every time someone asks me who my least favorite Warrior of Hope is, I would say the former. Anyways, moving on to Jataro. I think one reason he's over here is because he suffers from what I call "middle character syndrome", where he doesn't 'die' early enough like Masaru to leave a first impression, or someone late like Nagisa to really set you up for the climax. He's stuck in the unfortunate spot of having to follow up from who came first.

But that doesn't mean I don't like him. I think his trauma and backstory is one of the more unique ways of portraying mental abuse. While I think they could've done a better job of actually giving us time to digest his story and see more context in what really happened, I think his attitude (and his voice actor: god bless Michelle Ruff, she does an incredible job) and how he's so ruthless because he loves being hated is intriguing.

It's not enough to get him that high, but for what it's worth, I enjoyed Jataro while he was on screen and I wish we got to see more of him and Masaru, they badly needed more screentime. Speaking of which...

3. Masaru Daimon

Ah, here's the boy. If you thought my issue with Jataro's screentime was bad, man - Masaru's issues go way bigger than that. This poor fella gets a total of two scenes to shine in - the part where the Warriors of Hope introduce themselves, and his boss fight. If you wanna be generous and make it three, then we can count his supposed funeral, but as far as I'm concerned, the only one who got any sort of character build there was Nagisa and Monaca.

So why is Masaru so up high on my list despite the fact that he, y'know. Barely even existed? It's because he left his mark and set the tone well for the rest of his members to follow up on. Establishing himself as an arrogant, noisy brat that you just wanna pummel in his intro, with making a few lines here and there that make way for light-heartedness (wieners!). And then, he shows his weak heart. Beating his arm up (that scene was and still is hard to watch btw) and making subtle references easy enough for the viewer to make inferences from. Building what's coming.

That's what Masaru does. He lays the blueprints down for the rest of the kids, and that they all have reasons for turning the way they did. Being the first example is as important as closing off the story, and Masaru despite how little time he got was able to pass that test.

2. Monaca Towa

Yep, it's pretty obvious who my second favorite Warrior of Hope is if you've been paying attention to my blog, lol. Monaca is a horrible and terrifying child. She has done plenty of things wrong. I want nothing more than for her to receive her comeuppance and get what she deserves. And that's why pickle satan is my second favorite Warrior of Hope, my favorite villain/main antagonist in the series, and one of my favorite characters in general. And it all roots back to what I believe is most important in a character - presentation.

Believe me when I say this; a character that annoys the viewer will always be worse than a character that repulses them. You want them to think 'oh screw this guy, i hope they get owned and beat eventually', absolutely not 'oh screw this guy, get them off my screen, i don't wanna see this anymore'. You want to have the audience desire their demise, not be so irritated by them that they don't even wanna continue seeing the story anymore. Monaca plays her role of the despicable villain incredibly. She is so easy to hate in the ways that you wanna see her get destroyed.

I could go for a long, long while about Monaca and make a post of her own, honestly. Her dynamic with Nagisa is a one-sided tragedy (that I honestly think is more co-dependent than most people realize.) that ends with her pulling off one of the most horrid scenes in the series by mentally destroying the psyche of another character to the point he can't even muster the will to fight her anymore.

Her whole motive - it's initially believed that Monaca wants to be the next generation of Junko Enoshima herself, but the more you look into it, the more hints the story gives, until the buildup where the plan was for it to be Komaru all along... it's an excellent build and subversion that makes sense. Her writing works. Her character works. Everything clicks with Monaca. I just wish her arc ended more satisfyingly in DR3, even if the absurdity of it was pretty funny. Monaca's great. Love her and I'll always write about her.

Thanks again for sending the ask! I apologize this took a while, I've been busy these past few days in preparation of the upcoming school week. Hope to hear from you again, and have a great day!