#I put movie in quotes bc sometimes I watched a short film

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

"send me a character" you get abed and adam faulkner stanheight (from saw was i close?)

Aaaugh!!!!! YES thank you so much!!!!!! I could talk about both of them for weeks!!!

Abed:

First impression: I loved him really early on and he really quickly became my favourite character in Community. The second they showed Abed's short film to Jeff, Britta and his dad, it was all over for me

Current impression: I love Abed even more now. He's probably one of my favourite, most likely even most favourite character ever. He's so so relatable and I could watch Abed just being Abed forever. I honestly am not even sure i could put into words how much Abed's character means to me and how much I love him!

Favorite moment: I'd say all the times he dresses up as a character and acts as that character/just acts as someone else for a bit. I used to do that a bunch when I was younger so I love seeing Abed doing stuff like that, it makes me happy. Especially when it's Inspector Spacetime. Also: the scene where its mentioned that he has a 2 hour long analysis of the Saw movies because that's gotta be the most relatable scene ever made for me

Idea for a story: I have so many. I have already written way too many and have way too many more. So I'll share one which I don't think I've mentioned before: I'd love to write a fic about all the times people call him emotionless or a robot, and just sort of write out how that makes him feel and view himself until he finally decides to tell people to stop calling him that. Because it happens quite often in the show and I want some kind of a moment where he just stands up for himself and puts a stop to it.

Unpopular opinion: umm, I'm not sure if I have one, at least from all the opinions people on tumblr have. For the most part, I agree with a lot of opinions people have of him on here. I think people sometimes overexaggerate some aspects of his character, but that just kind happens in fandoms and its not a big deal.

Favorite relationship: obvious answer, but it's trobed!

Favorite headcanon: okay, this is my own personal headcanon, but I hc that he keeps a notebook not just of people's traits and things he notices about them, but also has a seperate notebook about the movies and shows he's watched. He writes down every show and movie he's seen, main characters' names and actors, and any other info he wants to remember. Mainly this headcanon is just me projecting bc I have a spreadsheet I made for the horror movies I've seen, so I'd like to believe he does something similar!

Okay and Adam:

First impression: I don't remember what my very first impression of him was tbh because I didn't yet have the sawtism on my first viewing of saw. But I did quite like his character.

Current impression: not a single normal thought has entered my brain about Adam. Every time I think about him, I feel the need to scream about him for days. He's such a tragic character and he hides all that behind his snark. And he wanted to live!!! He wanted to live and do more, but he couldn't!!! Adam also has some hilarious and great quotes, which at this point I'll admit I have like memorised because apparently I've just memorised half of Saw.

Favorite moment: oh my god, either the moment that Lawrence says "there's something you're not telling me" and Adam starts listing a bunch of unrelated shit to Lawrence (which includes the iconic "my ex-girlfriend was a feminist vegan punk who broke up with me because she thought I was too angry"). Or the moment he discovers the camera behind the mirror and says the iconic "this is the most fun I've had without lubricant". Or the deleted Saw III scene where he and Amanda interact. I love that scene so so much and I wish they had kept it in.

Idea for a story: not really a story, but I have thought about writing like a character study of some of the characters from saw. Or I guess more like a partial character study, partial what were they like in their daily lives type of thing. I've also thought of doing something like that with Amanda. Idk if I would ever write a full on fanfic with a plot for the saw characters, but character study-like thing would be cool imo

Unpopular opinion: quite a lot of people want him to come back and be alive, but I am fully against that. I love Adam and the "Adam is alive" au's are great, but realistically I don't want him to be alive in the movies. It wouldn't make sense and it just wouldn't work well imo, especially with how his death impacts the other characters and their stories.

Favorite relationship: Adam and Lawrence of course. But I did see one post of a theoretical ship of Adam and Mateo from Saw X (even though they've never met) and that post was pretty cute!! I should look for that post again

Favorite headcanon: gonna be a stereotypical saw fan and say: gay and trans Adam. It's a good headcanon, I think it can definitely make sense canonically and it just fits! Gay and trans Adam is canon to me

[lesbiancolumbo]

Hi!

I have a question for you but I am a bit terrified bc you are an icon of good taste on films but I have to dare...

What do you think about Ferris Bueller's day off?

Premise: I liked it, it's a silly and enjoyable movie and I know that in the current situation we can't have a movie like that, even if I can't really the reason (maybe the edginess and the irony that are everywhere now)

hi! well the first thing i want to say is please don’t feel terrified to approach or talk to me or ask me anything. i won’t bite you… i promise i’m a relatively chill person (i know historically the most unchill people are the ones that say this, but trust me).

onto your question, though… i love ferris bueller, though i haven’t seen it in many years. i’m cooler on john hughes than most people in my age group but i do love this one and probably always will. i watched it as a kid and have been to a lot of the places they go to in chicago. silly and enjoyable is a good way to put it tbh….. when i was young my grandmother used to tell me that not every movie needed to be deep. sometimes it just had to be “a nice time” and that’s what FB does for me. like it’s a very good “i’m home sick from school/work and it’s on TV” watch. my wife and i love alan ruck and i quote a lot of his lines a lot - when i was a kid i used to go around yelling PARDON MY FRENCH, BUT YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE in his grown up voice which my parents hated but anyways.

to your second point…. i don’t think it’s that we can’t have a movie like that anymore, but that it just wouldn’t have the impact the movie had back in 1986. like yes the edginess and irony is pretty done to this point but ironically before you sent this i was already thinking about FB while listening to the only film podcast i listen to talking about Soderbergh and his use of fourth wall breaking in one of his recent films and how it was either better or worse than adam mckay’s use of it in the big short (i honestly wasn’t paying attention). but anyways what i was thinking about was the cultural impact FB had and how many movies since have played with the fourth wall, etc. if you made FB in this day and age it just wouldn’t be unique and exciting or fresh as it had been when it originally came out.

and like, i think that’s something we need to consider when looking back at movies with huge cultural impact…. like it’s not always WHAT they do but WHEN they do it. movies have been breaking the fourth wall since the invention of cinema but FB was just in the right place at the right time and it clicked in pop culture. which, i mean i’m not mad about that, i think it’s a pretty cool film and while not everything about it has aged great (no film ages 100% well so i don’t knock it for that) i think it’s a nice, fun time and alan ruck is (and i cannot stress this enough) an ICON.

[baby-prophet]

ok so i watched at least a “movie” everyday in September for I dunno why but I was thinking should I also do that for October but scarey moovies??? but also like they are better with friends..........................................

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Good morning! Whats your favorite show/movie? Who are your favorite characters? Why do you like them so much? Also!! Did you have a good sleep?

Okay so I was a film major for a while, and I have opinions. 

Penny Dreadful 

I love this show. Like, so much. I adore it. I can not get enough of that show. Just all of the imagery, and the fantastic writing and acting. The episode intro alone is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. Eva Green is a goddess and I love everything she’s been in. The take on classic horror stories is So Good, and it actually became the inspiration for my Gay Frankenstein story! (Started as a stitch AU, and then went completely OC after I had Ideas) but the show itself is so intimate? I think it’s largely that the period they’re in, everything was so repressed and restricted. So when the characters break out of those moments, it’s more meaningful. And the love-hate relationship between Ms. Ives and Malcolm in season one? Exquisite.  I could literally write essay’s about this show, but I’ll restrain myself and just say: it’s the best ensemble show I’ve ever seen. The characters come together, but they also each have their own distinct lives that sometimes intersect, but in s2 especially, are quite separate. They are constant with one another like ensemble shows usually portray. Also gothic horror and romance? My absolute favorite. 

Anything by Guillermo del Toro

This man Owns My Entire Soul. I’m not even joking, everything he writes and directs is perfection. Crimson Peak is probably my favorite (I have a stitch AU for this too ;) ) because again, Gothic horror and romance. I’m a slut for that shit. Also Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain? Delightful casting. I think it’s obvious by now that I love tragic relationships, so their dynamic is *chef’s kiss* amazing. they’re so damaged. And this quote right here is one of the BEST things I’ve ever read: 

“But the horror... The horror was for love. The things we do for love like this are ugly, mad, full of sweat and regret. This love burns you and maims you and twists you inside out. It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all.”

Engrave that on my headstone, please?? I’ve got a sort-of Dorian Gray AU (it’s delightful) that’s basically built on this entire premise. Mitch makes the mistake of falling in love with Stiles, and does many terrible things because of it. Mostly to himself, at least. 

I think my love of Crimson Peak is very closely tied with The Shape of Water. another beautiful movie, I could wax poetic about this forever. it was beautifully written, and such an artistic movie. I love the way it was filmed, and the set design, and all of the subtle imagery. Such as Elisa’s apartment being cast in cooler tones, it always felt very damp and had evidence of water damage, compared to Giles’, a mirror image of her own, in more warm tones. This is another one I could (and have) write essays about. There is so much packed into this movie, from the themes on toxic masculinity and entitlement, to the conversation on queerness and race and disability, and how all the various relationships are portrayed. Like. there is so much to pick apart in this movie. 

Aside from that, ofc Hell Boy deserves an honorable mention because i grew up on those movies. I’m pretty sure the Golden Army especially is responsible for who I am today, given all the lore on the fae in that universe. Wow, that explains so much about me... Also one of my first WoW characters was an elf named Nuala xD I still have her, too, and it’s been like 12 years lol

Near-Future Sci-Fi

Sci-fi is one of my favorite genres, I am a huge nerd for theoretical and astrophysics. But my favorite kind of sci-fi is the stuff that still takes place on Earth, rather than epic battles in space. Ex Machina and Annihilation are at the top of that list. Alex Garland is another writer/director that I love. He has the same kind of approach as del Toro, where he puts a lot of fine details into his work. And I love that it’s very cerebral; there are so many layers to Ex Machina. My English 101 prof actually refused to analyze it in class when I suggested it to him, because he didn’t think my class could. Basically handle? Dissecting that movie? Because a lot of it comes across as very surface level, but in some cases when you look deeper, it’s actually suggesting the opposite of what you might think at first glance. (And he was right, my fellow students were awful. I miss that class though, it was one of my favorites T_T Mr. Ryder was an awesome dude and super chill.) 

Morgan is another good example. As you can see, I fucking love androids lol. Which brings me to another of my all time favorite movies: Cloud Atlas. I could literally watch this movie endlessly, I love it so much. The acting, the writing, the filming, all of it is top notch. And one thing they did in the movie that didn’t come across in the book, was reusing the same actors through the different eras in the book. That was just so neat, because it really encapsulates how connected these souls are, as we follow the threads of their story throughout time. If you haven’t seen the movie, I can’t recommend it enough.  

Another one I always think of alongside Cloud Atlas, even though they aren’t related at all, is Predestination. It’s a great movie that explores the idea of fate and free will in a really clever way, utilizes time travel in a very organized way that I think was neat (think Umbrella Academy. They even use briefcases! As you can see, I love sci-fi bureaucracy, it’s fun. In fact The Bureau is another movie I enjoyed) and the main character is actually, explicitly trans, which was cool. You basically get to see the entire story of their life, and I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s just. So good. Mindfuckery galore. 

Shoot, and I almost forgot! Arrival! That is one of the best movies, and another one I could watch nonstop. It focuses on mathematics and linguistics and I swear to god, I almost altered my entire college course because of this movie. Amy Addams is brilliant, Jeremy Renner is so soft and nerdy, and again, it has an amazing take on time travel. I am very particular about how time is handled in Sci-fi, and this portrayal was one of my favorite. (Most of my physics studies have been dedicated to the theory of time, so like. Strong Opinions.) 

Fantasy

Stardust! It wasn’t until Good Omens can out that I realized Neil Gaiman is responsible for most of the stories I loved as a kid lol, and I had no idea he wrote stardust! But that is such a beautiful movie (I have a Stardust AU lol) and it’s definitely one of my comfort movies. Captain Shakespeare is one of the best characters ever, bless Robert de Niro. I would die for him. Fun fact, i had no idea Ipswitch was a real place until like. 2019. I 100% thought it was made up for the movie 😂

Alongside Stardust, I’ve always loved The Golden Compass. It’s fantasy, but also with that old-timey steampunk science feel, which is so fun and surprisingly difficult to find! 

Mortal Engines also has the same kind of feel, and it was such an epic movie in every sense of the word. I’m a little sad that after all the work that went into it, it didn’t get a dedicated following or fan base, because I feel there’s so much potential in it. But at the same time, fandom tends to gather around media that has plenty of flaws for us to repair with gold, and there wasn’t much room for that in Mortal Engines. 

I’m going to put Jupiter Ascending here even though it technically fits with the sci-fi, because that section is long as fuck and also this movie has such a fantastic feel. Mila Kunis? beautiful. The CGI? beautiful. Eddy Redmayne? One of the best villain portrayals i’ve ever seen. The whole oedipal vibe he had was immaculate, as was their portrayal of reincarnation, and just. The world building. GOD. I get so weak for through world building. Also the fkn intergalactic bureaucracy when they’re basically at the space DMV? One of my all time favorite scenes in movie history. 

Horror

I have very little room in my life for horror. As I said, I have strong movie opinions, especially when it comes to horror movies. I don’t like how most of them rely on cheap jump scares and overused gore and gratuitous rape scenes, instead of, y'know, actual good writing. 

Which is EXACTLY why I adore It: Chapter 1 & 2. It has none of those things, but still manages to be so terrifying. They are my favorite horror movies, and I’m saying this as someone who has genuine childhood trauma bc of the novel. Like. I couldn’t shower/take baths alone until I was almost 10 T_T When I was 6-7 and saw kids play by storm drains, I would run over screaming about how Pennywise was going to get them. Like, I had issues man. I was terrified to see the first one, and wouldn’t go until I could go with my best friend after she had already seen it, so she could warn me when something scary was about to happen 😂

And, one of my favorite aspects of the movie, and the thing that gave me Mad Respect for Any Muschietti? The way he filmed Bev and her father. They have a character who is literally being molested, but they never once have to show it. And yet their interactions are still so viscerally upsetting to watch. Sexploitation puts me off of most horror, and the fact that Muschietti doesn’t use it here, even when it would be actually somewhat justified? *chef’s kiss*. I love him. 

I love horror as a concept, I’m just really picky about it because I expect the writing to be good. I don’t like short cuts. But in a lot of cases, even if I don’t enjoy the movie itself, I love to watch analysis videos on youtube! I love to see the philosophy and symbolism in different horror movies, even if i don’t like to watch the movies themselves. It’s a fun hobby. 

Misc. 

Then in general, some other stuff I love in no particular order:

The Internship (Bless Dylan, Stuart is such a bitch and I love him) 

American Assassin (ofc. The writing itself is eh, but Mitch is my man) 

Dylan’s episode of Weird City. (I actually have a lot of feelings about this one. Jordan Peele is another amazing writer/director, I really need to catch up on his works.) 

Dorian Gray (*chef’s kiss*)

Rogue One (Makes me cry every time) 

WARCRAFT (Obviously this is a fav. It made me so happy, words cannot express.) 

Coraline and most other stop motion animation. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for that. 

Literally anything associated with Tim Burton. Fun fact, when I was 12 and in middle school, I planned to decorate my future house inspired by tim burton. Like, i had Plans. 

Most adaptations of Alice in Wonderland!

So! this got long as fuck! But you said you like that kind of thing lol 😂 I had kinda Eh sleep since I was up so late lmao, and I kept waking up (as usual, rip). And I’m so mad I go up for nothing! The dude I was supposed to show my listing to never showed, and is refusing to answer my calls >_> It’s been 2 hours now, and I still haven’t heard from him. But whatever, I already have a full price cash offer on the house so who cares. And that means I can play WoW all day, now! 

[jongdality]

me thinkin' about how i've grown up with exo and watched as they lived and learned and developed as professionals and humans, overcoming the struggles of a poor debut concept and scandal after scandal with their tenacity and love for each other

Then thinkin' about how Kyungsoo, a somewhat aloof, awkward and weird boy who decided to be bold and try out for SM after old people at karaoke competitions told him to and he made 8 brothers for life who love him dearly and support him and his antics and his acting career and call him cute no matter how much he says he isn't good at anything and that he's boring and Manly and how he has starred in a full-ass movie and is partially credited as breaking the "idol-actor" stereotype and writes love songs with chanyeol on the DL that chanyeol reveals on his lives and wrote the lyrics to a lovely, comforting song for us before leaving to join the military so he can become an even bigger star in multiple films once he gets out

Then thinkin' about how bbh, an outgoing boy who flicked lights on and off to make his friends giggle, met a friend for life, kjd, on the very same day they both were to audition to get into a group that was about to debut, how he worked hard to break down barriers in the group and became the moodmaker, and how people thought he was bad at dancing because he hadn't had time to train but actually every solo dance he's been given he's slayed to the point that he became the CENTER FOR CBX, how he worked hard to learn piano in a very short amount of time to play The Answer for his EXO-Ls, how even after an early scandal in which is privacy was invaded he still looks at us with such love and protection and is NOW an amazing solo artist who texts the exo group chat saying he misses them so much

Then thinkin' about Suho. Kim frickin' Joonmyeon. The underdog of the entire group. Born rich, charismatic and well-educated, could have been ANYTHING but CHOSE to train for SEVEN YEARS due to his love of music. You guys. When Baek and another member got into trouble for cussing while playing video games sometime in 2012-2013 and a sasaeng threatened to reveal the voice clips of them cussing purportedly to apink members, joonmyeon texted her personally, so cold, so professional, "are you blackmailing us? If you release the clip you won't be forgiven" big fuckin dad energy, worked so hard on his singing and dancing yet still asks not to be given too many lines or placed center too often, gives up his seats for his members ALWAYS, accepted their first awards show win alone stoic and professional as the boys broke down in the back room after the news of kris leaving broke, now has multiple solo songs and acts and is literally set to be higher-level management at SM due to all his hard work, definitely puts out that goofy mom energy but is actually extremely intelligent, protective and the go-to guy for all the members and this para has no point i just think kim joonmyun deserves everything

Remembering that chanyeol has a famous sister and is a multitalented instrumentalist that didn't actually need to become an idol, but he did because he wanted "brothers", how he skyrocketed an entire foot from debut til now, how he's all teeth and ears and big anime eyes and legs and he's confident and happy after years of struggling w his weight and self-image, makin music and writing lyrics and modeling for tommy hilfiger and riding scooters in paris and despite the fact that he can't dance he tries, despite the fact that he didn't audition to be a rapper he became one of korea's best, how he turns into a little kid every time he's around any small animal and just tries to cuddle and feed it as he coos in his Low Man Voice, his tough raps but then his soft exo station song SSFW, and now exo-sc with his bestie and ACTING!!!

Thinkin' about Xiumin. Xiumin who came in as a vocalist and ended up being one of the best dancers in the group (even tho he hits the highest notes!!!). Xiumin who is the oldest and wisest but is still willing to throw that ass back to havana to make cbx laugh. Xiumin who is korea's pick, who kids and ahjummas alike fall for. Xiumin who is beautiful and quiet and humble and supports his brothers from the sidelines, who is so loving and caring, who released an adorable solo that matches him so well and is now winning fckn awards in military training for being so goddamn amazing. Xiumin who attends TVXQ concerts and supports all of his fellow celebrities. Mark's dad. Amazing man. Says he has no friends outside of exo but literally everyone loves him. Dedicated his formative years to the group even when he wasn't spotlighted like he deserves to be and-

Lay. That's it. That's the paragraph. He came in not speaking Korean and is now one of the top-grossing musicians in all of China. Breaking barriers. Learning languages in a matter of months. Solo albums out the wazoo that he composed. Coming back to wish Kyungsoo goodbye even though he hasn't been on a stage with them in years. Didn't leave, although I'm sure he was mistreated just as much as the members who did. All of exo loves him so fucking much.

Kai. Kai who could have been a professional ballet dancer, could have been a full-time model, debuts as the SCREAMO BOY in mama. Gets made fun of for his skin complexion. Is shy and embarrassed for the first 2 or 3 years of exo interviews, and is still pretty shy and introverted. But boy became the fucking IDOL'S IDOL. FANCAMS GOING VIRAL LEFT AND RIGHT. SUSTAINING INJURIES, CRYING WHEN HE MESSES UP AN EXTREMELY DIFFICULT DANCE ROUTINE TO "I SEE YOU". Is such a perfectionist to the point of pushing himself into constant injury, and besides that has had his personal life broadcasted all over the news MULTIPLE times even though he's so shy and withdrawn irl. People cry to meet him, now. Front and center of every exo dance. A dancing god and the reason half of NCT auditioned. I cannot emphasize how proud I am of Kai, who is only a few months older than sehun yet has had to grow up so fast as the face of the group. Solo during the olympics with plantar fasciitis. Model who stuns at every Gucci show in new and experimental designs.

Sehun. Oh fuckin' Sehun. Ran away from recruiters because his mom told him not to talk to strangers, and now he's modelling for every major fashion campaign, is on the cover of vogue, has his dream dog and certifiably has the biggest dick of all exo members. Became a main dancer through hard work and practice even though nobody ever talks about how hard osh works bc he's sort of overshadowed by kai. Insecure about his singing voice but makes crowds go wild every time he even croons out one beautiful, dulcet line. Babied by junmyeon, kissed and coddled by all the exo members, still has Big Baby Energy but is debuting in a group with his fellow chaotic neutral yeol and looking all sexy with his swooped back hair and his 0 follows on insta. Sings in We Young and raps his little heart out. His solo during concerts still shake my very uterus and im pretty sure he's gay. That's how powerful ohs is, and he can only go up from here.

And finally my baby boy kim jongdae. Chanyeol once said Jongdae is so nice that he comes off as stupid and that is absolutely positively true. Boy is the manifestation of the john mulaney quote "you could pour soup on my lap and id apologize to you". Is a ray of fucking sunshine whose only goal as he was singing in that video from high school was to "become a singer". It's his passion. It's the reason he LIVES. He prays to jesus before every concert but worships music. One of THE best vocalists in the game with the cleanest and most controlled voice, sings in the shower, sings in the car, sings while walking to pet some deer, sings because he loves it and now he's a soloist with his own album out and another in the works, and not only that, he dances his feet on fire in CBX and exo routines and remains steady to hit those high notes. Duets abound because everyone loves him. Will tell a bitch to back off when talking about his private life bc he's probably a husband with 6 happy, healthy children at home. Started out as the nervous boy chasing a dream on that fateful day with bbh and became the nation's pick, sings CONSTANTLY, yet is still so humble he opens up a yt channel just to cover other artists' songs. MCs for Baekhyun's solo and shows up to all his performances to monitor. Heart of gold. Smiles when he's hurting. Deserves this solo career and deserves the happiest life this world can provide him.

Words aren't enough to express how grateful I am for these men, how proud I am and how much I just want them to know that we know how hard they've worked to get as far as they have. Compare them to any other group, even other SM groups, and it's clear that their passion, drive, skill and professionalism is unrivaled. They are all born artists and musicians down to their core, and with that, they're all kind, sweet people who are who they are because they debuted as 18, 19, 20, etc year old men 7 years ago and have grown up together, suffered together, celebrated together and loved together. They've switched up sounds, concepts, gone experimental, have created some of the most beautiful ballads and harmonies music has ever seen, and they strive for nothing but the best. ALWAYS. They have never disappointed me, and they never fail to inspire me every time they show the fruits of all their labor (as well as multiple creative people and teams that come together to create EXO) onstage as one.

Exo we are one, saranghaja.

[holocene-days]

hey jemma, would really love some tips about how you've been figuring yourself out, would love to get to that place but difficult to know where to start

ahh hi! 

i should probably preface this by saying that this has been a hella long process that’s taken place over the past 2 years. 

a lot of this post is gonna be me talking about my experiences bc i’m not really good at the whole second person advice thing. so i hope this is helpful in some way!! also lol sorry this got really long, i just had lots of thoughts 

*tw mention of eating disorders, nothing too in depth but just like talk about anorexia and such things*

i kinda started this journey in fall of 2017 when i realized i had lost myself and was struggling severely with an eating disorder and went to see the therapist at my uni who specializes in eating disorders. she diagnosed me with anorexia which was like a major wake up call and i was like jfc who am i what am i doing to myself how did i get this way. i had lost over 20 pounds and was completely focused on how i looked and i felt so out of control of my life and my desires and ambitions that i coped with it through controlling my weight and how i looked. long story short, saw this therapist through fall of 2017 and at the beginning of december had a breakthrough, which was when i said “i don’t want to be thin, i want the things i think being thin will get me”, thus the start of my recovery began. 

i then spent 8 months of 2018 studying abroad in london and traveling around europe and met the most amazing people and had some of the best experiences of my life (shout out to my girls matilde @timobeechalamet and megan @blxckisthecolor) and because i was so focused on traveling and school i didn’t really have any sense of self, which actually was quite beneficial because i was trying to recover from this traumatic thing and the distraction of travel and school were very helpful.

went back to the states in dec and graduated from uni this may. spent my last semester focused on myself and finishing my degree and spending lots of time with my friends. and here’s where i really started to work on myself.

i’ve always had lots of anxiety around school and perfection (which is why i initially started seeing a therapist 4 years ago) and it took me a lil while but i’ve realized that i don’t feel these kinds of pressures anymore because i’m out of this environment which was stifling and stressful, i’m able to be myself more. which brings us up to the present day where i now feel like i have the time and comfortable environment to enjoy myself and explore new things.

1. focus on your passions. what do you love? what do you love to do? are there classes you can take to learn more? books you can read? my big love is acting so i got a degree in it and then went to LA this summer for a month and a half to go to a film acting school and through that program learned SO much about what i want from myself as an artist. i watch lots of movies and series. find way to incorporate what you love into your daily life. take just 30 minutes for it and just focus on it. i find that keeping a tag on here of things that inspire me artistically can be really helpful bc if i’m ever feeling uninspired or stuck i can go back and look through the posts and get mentally back on track with my passion.

2. writing. i’ve been keeping a journal since i was about 15. i don’t really make diary entries in it but i love lists and making lists about concepts or themes or aesthetics. i recently made a list of all of my favorite meals this way in case i don’t know what to make, i have a basis to go back to of things i know my body loves. some nights i just come up with an idea and i take out my journal and just write and don’t edit myself. just keep the ideas going. no detail is too small. it’s just really nice to have a place with all my thoughts and ideas and feelings. writing is really cathartic for me. 

3. bullet journaling. my bullet journal is separate from my other journal and in it i keep my month and mind in check. i draw out each month and write down thoughts and goals of things i want to do for the month. i have pages about the law of attraction and new things i want to try and quotes about acting and being an artist. it’s such a great way for me to customize my life in a sense and have a book of my current life and thoughts to refer to.

4. your space. i am that girl who always has clothes on her bedroom floor, and everything is typically very messy. but that shit stresses me out so much. and so in an effort to try to have more peace in my life, i’m trying to do better about it. literally yesterday i deep cleaned and redecorated half of my bedroom and put in a bookshelf from my dad’s office and put lots of plants and books on it and wow it really transformed my room. it was SUCH a simple thing that took like an hour but really changed the whole vibe of my room. your room is you lil home in ur apartment or house and it needs to be your happy, chill space where you feel comfortable. putting in effort in your room seriously changes so much about your mental attitude. i’m trying to get in the habit of making my bed each morning and it’s been v helpful!!

5. ya body. i think taking care of your body is so incredibly important in your self discovery journey because it affects how your brain works and your outlook on yourself and the greater world. bc of my ed my sense of body has been real fucked for so long (i’m talking like 10 years :))))) ). here’s how i got to a better place with it 1. lots of therapy lol. 2. reminding myself that my body is a living, breathing animal that requires food to function and movement to feel good. breaking the idea of movement (i.e. working out) away from the idea of being skinny has been hard but intensely helpful and effective in the way i view my body. i focus on movement. not working out, not burning calories. things like walking, biking, dancing, ice skating are all physical activities i really enjoy that don’t feel like working out. food is a whole other beast. i totally still struggle with food sometimes but it’s getting better. i’ve been focusing a lot on intuitive eating over the past couple months (these posts by @heavyweightheart have been so incredibly helpful in teaching me about this) and that food list i made a few days ago is also really helpful. my advice would be eat what feels good to your body and makes you have energy and feel good. stay active in your life and move in ways that also feel good. the more i take care of my body, the better my mind feels and the more in touch with myself i am.

6. back off instagram. that shit is... not great. i mean, it def has its moments (and memes) but overall i just feel like insta is a place where people post photos of their “perfect life moments” and want their friends to validate it. and then there’s all those influencers on there and so many insta stories and it’s just really overwhelming. if you really like instagram and don’t feel like it’s anxiety inducing then def keep it! but also know that it’s okay to step back from it for a lil bit. it really helped me to feel more present and not continuously compare myself to others and feel a need to post if a cool thing happened. it’s been nice to be more private and keep things for myself. 

7. patience. remembering that things take time and what you want is achievable you just have to keep goings. try new things. change your approach, allow yourself to fail. learn from the failure and do better next time. 

8. kindness. towards yourself and others. really putting in the effort to be kind to people in your everyday life makes SUCH a difference and really brightens their day and yours as well. putting out good vibes brings back good vibes, which then allows you to feel better about yourself and more in tune with others around you.

i’m going to stop this here bc this is so fucking long at this point lol i’m so sorry for that but i hope some of this was helpful pls let me know!!

[eleventhousandfour]

tagged by @arcaydyin – thank you so much!

nickname: emma is such a short name anyway so i don’t really need a nickname haha but em / emm gender: female astrological sign: aquarius... no idea what my sun / moon / rising sign is, i just know i’m aquarius ! height: 6 ft… but tbh i never actually made it to 6ft, i never got that tall! :( i’m like a centimetre short i’m like 182cm i think so i’m technically 5’11 but 6ft sounds better hahaa sexuality: i like girls! and if you wanna put a label on that then i’m a lesbian / gay hogwarts house: definitely ravenclaw but there’s a bit of hufflepuff in me too! favorite animals: i find loads of animals cool but i suppose my favourites are arctic foxes and seahorses… wouldn’t it be so funny though if my patronus was a seahorse, like imagine it just sorta bobbing about in the air, that would be amazing...  number of blankets: if you mean number of duvets then 1 + sometimes a blanket / quilt if im cold in the winter where i’m from: the uk! dream trip: i wanna go to so many places but a) money b) I don’t have a travel buddie bc all my friends are ‘party all night!’ type people and im not lol and c) im too shy to travel on my own and make friends along the way haha when i made this account: i created it in december 2011 i think why i created this account: all my friends were getting tumblrs and i didn’t want to feel left out lol followers: a lady never tells……. jokes I have 383, it would help if more of my posts actually went in the frigging tags !!  following: too many... i will check – 2,609 wow that is too many, though i reckon a lot of those are dead / inactive the last thing I googled: ‘does tango orange have caffeine in it’ because i was ordering a takeaway online and i am avoiding caffeine… but the answer was inconclusive, and i couldn’t be bothered to waste time finding out the answer i just wanted my greek food so instead i ordered a 7up lol :) favorite musicians: sigrid is my absolute fave! also aurora and lorde and some others i like are passion pit, banks, daughter, london grammar, of monsters and men, bon iver, the xx and at the moment anything esc 2019 ofc! song stuck in your head: kill this love by blackpink do you get asks: i occasionally get asks… i got a few from an anon about skam spain the other day that made me ridiculously happy bc i never get asks haha amount of sleep: i used to be sooo good at sleeping but now it varies so much and i definitely don’t get enough… i reckon i get around 6/7 hours a night but i have discovered i can survive on like 5/6 hours... lucky number: 4 and 24 what are you wearing: dark grey skinny jeans and a t-shirt from uniqlo with a marimekko design on it... it has a blue background and white spots, but its now almost too big for me because ive lost so much weight (losing weight is a good thing because i was totally overweight and didn’t feel healthy) but because its too big it’s almost getting uncomfortable to wear bc theres just so much fabric that’s just not needed anymore lol!! it’s a little frustrating bc its one of my favourite t-shirts and its so pretty so i cant stop myself from wearing it! dream job: honestly? i don’t know... i’ve often said my dream job would be a film / tv location scout but then i have begun to realise that not all parts of the job appeal to me... like i know that i have an insane natural talent at finding out where places are filmed (and to do that i can happily spend hours looking on google maps and researching things) and that has translated into me thinking ‘that’s what a location scout does!’ but then actually, would i really be spending all my time looking at google maps and researching places? no, i probably would not... the job would be so much more than that. also would my enthusiasm disappear if it was my actual job? my passion for finding out where places are filmed is because im a) hella nosy and b) really interested in the movie / tv show / actor so i want to find it out because i just have to know and it’s fun but would that still be the case if i actually worked as a location scout? who knows! so basically i have no idea what my dream job is hahaa... instruments: i unfortunately can’t play any musical instruments because i am untalented and don’t have the patience, i blame my brother and my cousins for stealing all the musical genes in my family… languages: i speak english and english only... but there are some yiddish and scots words that occasionally crop up when im talking thanks to my family’s heritage, but i dont speak any other languages... i learnt french and spanish at school but i found them very hard and never really enjoyed learning them, although i did get a b in french at gcse so i was alright i guess but i reckon thanks to crisana and juliantina i have learnt more spanish in the past few months than i did during the two years i learnt spanish at school haha...  favorite songs: ugh i have too many faves, but sight of you by sigrid, the seed by aurora, radio gaga by queen. dancing with myself by billy idol, be the one by dua lipa, to the other side by passion pit, ribs by lorde, 33 god by bon iver, dog days are over by florence + the machine, video killed the radio star by the buggles to name but a few… random fact: ???!! i guess a random fact is that i find it impossible to come up with random facts about myself! aesthetic: exploring new places, quoting random lines from poetry or films, going to supermarkets in foreign countries, saying ‘i love you’ spontaneously, posing for endless photos in endless pretty locations, watching the sunset over a city while listening to music, enjoying the magical loveliness of everyday life…

im tagging @theelephantsvanish @etherealpondsx @lexa-el-amin @allyoursecrets @annatorvsgf @frenchcutcarrot @supuswnt @hillyan @celmurcia 

[mysme-hcs]

RFA Favorite Disney + Pixar Movies

no one probably cares but i love tangled & the pixar short films the best 😂💞 I know this prompt is kind of overdone but here’s my take on it

-

Zen:

-okay so someone actually sent us in a request about Zen being in the Lion King musical but the more I read about it the more I realize he’d love it so much?

-He’s not thrilled about the lion part since they’re CATS but he loves the story and all the music!!!

-he also ran away from his home and just relates a lot to Simba, sometimes for absolutely no reason?? He just loves him a lot

-Simba: *breathes* Zen: haha wow me too, what a coincidence

-will beat anyone to the ground if they say anything bad about The Hunchback of Notre Dame or the Lion King

-I don’t know anything about Hercules but since everyone says he’d like it: since the news was announced that there might be a Hercules musical, he was so confused yet flattered since all of his fans (and even non-fans??) kept tagging him in “Who would you like to see as Hercules” polls. That prompted him to see the movie and oh my God!!! he loves it so much!!!!

-he starts working out twice as hard and aspires to be as strong as Hercules honestly

-besides that he loves the Bug Life movie and he doesn’t even know why. Just…to him it’s a grade A classic. What The Actual Heck™, Hyun.

-

Jaehee:

-she stans the Little Mermaid okay do not fight me on this

-she has seen every single one of the movies (and sometimes compares Jumin to Ursula. Jumin once found a drawing of him dressed as Ursula after a meeting and ended up cancelling a massive business deal bc he thought they drew it as an insult to him)

-she loves all of the songs and even has some merch: a travel mug, a necklace, and a cute lil shirt

-she will barge into Hot Topic and fight through crowds of the emo kids begging their parents to get them Pierce the Veil shirts if it means she gets her LM items. tag urself im the emo kid Like, y'all don’t even understand? She’s used to playing dirty to get Zen tickets and merch, she knows how to get what she wants

-and that’s scary as fuck please stay out of her way

-also sometimes she gets drunk and sobs while watching Bambi. It’s vvv cute 10/10

-

Vanderwood:

-I don’t see him as a Disney guy honestly

-BUT

-he would 100% be down for the Mulan soundtrack

-listens to “I’ll make a man out of you” while he exercises oops

-insists it’s good uh, motivation

-vanderwood, taking a long drag of his cigarette: “no no, you don’t understand. Being swift as a coursing river totally makes sense. The water moves from one spot to another without splashing or running off course, that’s how we should aspire to be. Getting where we need to go without fucking up. Think about how tough a raging fire is, how there’s only a few things that’ll put it out before it destroys everything in its path-” OKAY WE GET IT

-Seven found out and insists Vanderwood needs a girl worth fighting for LMAO

-

Jumin:

-we’re just,,,all gonna collectively agree that Jumin likes the Aristocats

-no explanation needed

-

Yoosung:

-he stans Frozen and considers it the best Disney movie ??? what a disgrace smh……..sorry frozen fans

-lowkey thinks Anna is cute as hell and it’s the movie that makes him cry the hardest

-probably thinks Olaf is the best thing ever that’s,,,,,,,extremely cursed

-besides that, he adores Ratatouille!!! He’s probably tried to make all of the food in it because it looks amazing? God he wishes he has a cooking rat of his own. Well, maybe if it came without the hair pulling and biting

-Colette scares him sometimes tho oops bfhwndiwnej

-

Saeyoung:

-he likes a few Disney movies (Peter Pan, Aladdin) but he likes Pixar the best!!!

-unironically stans the Cars franchise because come on, there’s a reason why he has a red sports car.

-you know he laughs and cries during the Cars movies. It’s a tradition for him to pop massive quantities of popcorn n watch all the movies 3 times a month. He also talks during them and it’s so annoying???

-he loves Lightning McQueen so much that he locked himself in his room cryin when he saw he possibly died in the new trailer definitely uses his hacking skills to find out whether or not he’s alive or dead

-anyway, if you think he has race tracks set up in the hallway and motorized race cars modeled after the Cars characters, you’re completely right

-makes Saeran take Mater everytime they play with them together

-and he raises his kids on Cars too, they literally come out of the womb quoting the movies

-also loves The Incredibles (MC WHERE’S MY SUPERSUIT). Edna is his absolute favorite and he’s got the hots for that one hot blond girl me too

-he also calls u the eve to his wall-e oh boy

-

Saeran:

-Aladdin is okay in his opinion but he, much like his twin, prefers Pixar movies!

-Finding!!!! Nemo!!!!

-it distresses him a lil bit at the more intense parts but he’s seen the movies so many times

-he felt choked up during Piper me 2 I started sobbing 30 seconds in because it’s so pure and makes him so happy

-he also loves Monsters Inc and would trade Randall to Satan for a crumb, he cannot stand him

-

Jihyun:

-he’ll watch any of them if you’d like, but he has to admit he’s quite partial towards Sleeping Beauty

-the whole story is just so beautiful?

-but besides that he also loves the Pixar short films!!! He’s seen them all 8382789 times

-Geri’s Game and Knick Knack are his faves

-always cries and holds you tighter during Up. At first he used to try and hide it but….yeah it’s pretty hard not to cry during that movie at least once

[mmakehappy]

2017

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? i’ll try to do this chronologically again: so at the beginning of january one of my best friends left to study abroad in rome which was sad and i missed her a lot. i saw rory scovel do stand up. i took an animation class which was fun for the first few weeks until i failed it lmao. actually my classes from jan to march did not go so well tbh but whatever i made it through. my sister came to visit me the weekend before st paddys day which was super fun and then we saw panic which was soooooooo fuckin rad i love them still wow! i went home for spring break and visited a local winery w my dad which was a lot of fun and then a week later uhhh me and @carrot-gallery became gfs!!! and my whole frickin life changed bc i love her so much wow!! but then a week after that i turned 22 and spent my birthday alone! which i tried to pretend didnt make me sad but by the end of the day i was very sad about it and thats when my sweet gf called me to sing happy birthday and i sobbed on my couch and ill never forget that!!! so okay then spring quarter classes started and i was a part of depaul’s visiting artist series which was super cool... i met a lot of new awesome people (both at depaul and the industry ppl that were our guests!) and made some great friends in that class! i was a house manager and camera op which was super fun. i went to a screening of my fave professor’s short film which was also rad. i saw a ghost story at the chicago critics film festival, which was amazing. i saw idiocracy in 35mm and then mike judge did a q&a! the very next day i was house manager for depaul’s student film festival at the music box! i saw chris gethard do a live recording of beautiful/anonymous and then also do some standup, that was awesome. i saw day wave live!!! amazing! i spent an entire dystopian day dealing with megabus. that was hell! i sat at an outdoor amphitheater and even tho i couldnt really see him i got to listen to seu jorge sing david bowie covers and life was magical for a few hours. my sisters came up to visit me and we saw aladdin the musical and had our minds blown, it was soooo fun! i went to the chicago pride parade for the very first time but i went by myself and at one point i was sitting on the curb just crying! not a high point but still memorable. i won a ticket to an advanced screening of the big sick where kumail & emily were there to do a q&a after the movie.... had a fuckin blast OBVIOUSLY and then saw the movie 9 other times in various theatres. i also made it into a commercial FOR the movie i just loved it that much lmao! i moved into a new (and my current) apartment! lorde released melodrama and fucking murdered me in my own home. otherwise i had a pretty uneventful but anxiety filled summer bc of financial aid stuff so that really sucked. i saw good time w taylor and the safdie brothers were there to do a q&a and they were such interesting guys i could listen to them talk for hours honestly. my mom and sisters came up to visit me and we took our mom to her very first cubs game which was sooo so much fun and they won that day too!! it was awesome and we had a great time :) watched the eclipse (or tried to anyway!!) fall quarter classes started and i honestly kicked ass at them, i got on the deans list (i almost typed honor roll lmao i mean its basically the same) i hung out with ari again which was cool!! we went to the aquarium! me and taylor saw beach fossils which was honestly the most buckwild concert ive ever been to i think, it was good shit. i got jobs at AMC (which i have since quit lmao) and starbucks and left my job at the paint place which was bittersweet! me and taylor saw mbmbam live!!! so fun!! and we watched trolls that night and goofed on it so hard!! i went home for thanksgiving and found out my big sister is gonna have a baby this year!! :D i saw mike birbiglia do stand up! which was soooo incredible of course (except i felt bad bc my mom was supposed to come w me but she couldnt go! so i brought taylor lol) UMMMMM MY DAM GIRLFRIEND CAME TO CHICAGO TO VISIT ME AND STAYED FOR A WHOLE DANG WEEK AND IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER SHE MAKES ME SO HAPPY WE HAD SO MUCH FUN AND I MISS HAVING HER RIGHT NEXT TO ME EVERY SINGLE GOSH DANG DAY <3 ;_____; and that was my year!!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? last year i said id like to read at least one book each month and watch at least 100 movies - i did neither! im keeping the movie resolution though bc cmon 100 movies should be EASY for a film major wtf am i doing!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? no but it will happen in 2018! 

4. Did anyone close to you die? not a person but we had to put down my sweet doggo, flash :(

5. What countries did you visit? still none :/

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? More confidence that I actually deserve to be in college and that I can do this shit and I’m awesome <– that was my answer from last year and the year before but yeah. same. also money.

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? ummm march 25 when me and gf became gfs and also dec 17 when she came to visit :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? putting myself out there by doing VAS/Premiere, getting on the deans list for the first time since freshman year and then also getting a new job

9. What was your biggest failure? this summer i didnt do shit besides wallow and cry and it sucked!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? nope

11. What was the best thing you bought? every movie ticket and the bras i bought for natalie ;-)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? natalie’s because she’s amazing and works so hard!!!! and she can always cheer me up and im so in love w her

13. Whose behavior made you appalled? mine bc i could never just get my shit together and do my homework when i was supposed to :) < thats from last year but lmfao same!

14. Where did most of your money go? RENT, movie/event tix, food, in that order

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? THE BIG SICK, the new season of sv, p much all of the events that i listed in the first question lol

16. What song will always remind you of 2017? umm honestly probably any song from melodrama

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? I’m a. happier, b. probably thinner? or maybe the same idk, and c. definitely DEFINITELY poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? read and write and watch movies and write and read about movies

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spending money and also being bitter about everything for no reason <– last year and the year before that AGAIN and also same!

20. How did you spend Christmas? working at AMC which i hated every second of :)

21. Did you fall in love in 2016? yes with my amazing girlfriend @carrot-gallery

22. What was your favorite TV program? silicon valley, AMERICAN VANDAL, the good place, great british bake off

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? nah just politicians who like. actively want me to die lol

24. What was the best book you read? bitch,

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? mitski like why the fuck did i sleep on her..... tbh thats about it bc i still listen to the same music i did 10 years ago

26. What did you want and get? I wanted a steadier/better paying job and i have it!

27. What did you want and not get? idk i wanted to be financially stable on my own and i still dont have that

28. What was your favorite film of this year? ugh i hate this question! ok in no order: THE BIG SICK, GOOD TIME, A GHOST STORY, GET OUT, THE FLORIDA PROJECT

29. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? uhhh having my sweet girlfriend by my side each and every day 

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? sometimes chic, always sweaty

31. What kept you sane? Sydney, my best friend in the entire world. (This was my answer from last year and the year before that and the year before that AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT but it still holds true) also everyone in the sv discord chat still AND natalie of course of course

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? kumail nanjiani duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, taika waititi, and martin starr always and probably more but i legit cant think of anyone rn lol

33. What political issue stirred you the most? yikes all of it. all of the issues (this was from last year but same lmao)

34. Who did you miss? i miss my dogs and my family and my girlfriend 35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. You can set goals for yourself and talk about it all you want but it’s nothing until you actually start working towards it and doing something about it. <– answer from last year and the year before that and the year before that, still true!! imma keep that. also idk just like, there are good days and super bad days and ive survived all of them so its just a reminder to myself that ill be okay.

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. These days will all seem better in time Waiting on that hindsight

[thimblings]

AHHH!! YES!! um. prepare your eyes, this is gonna be a long, rambly post because apparently i have A LOT OF FEELINGS and i can’t just list things like a normal person. and i also kept remembering podcasts and the list JUST KEPT GETTING LONGER. so. GIANT TEXT POST, i am so so so sorry. also, there are actually a few on this list that i’m not caught up with (some i’m like REALLY behind on) but i’m still gonna rec them... 

Welcome to Night Vale is the one i’m sure most ppl know of (although! if you have not read the novel, i’d HIGHLY recommend getting the audio book version. Cecil Baldwin does a great job of reading, and the “Voice of Night Vale” sections actually feature guest stars. i really want Cecil to do more audio book recordings omg). but!! along that same theme (radio show in a strange town w/ supernatural themes), King Falls AM is spectacular (ben and sammy are just! a freakin delight i love them). IMO it starts off feeling like it’s trying to be like WTNV, but within a few episodes it finds itself and becomes something unique (i say this bc i was initially put off by the first episode for that reason, and later came back and gave it another shot and enjoyed it immensely). it’s funny, it made me cry a few times, and i reaallyyy really really need to catch up with it. sammy stevens also has….just….a really nice voice hahaaaa The Truth is a great one. it’s mostly one-off short stories, but they’re generally really high quality and the plot of most of the episodes is really thought-provoking or just interesting in general (there’s one ep about aliens who find the Voyager craft with its recording that’s just really charming to me). the tagline “movies for your ears” is really apt. a lot of the stories veer on the side of unsettling/creepy, and it’s great if you like horror stories. i’d also recommend The Black Tapes and its sister podcast, Tanis. i love horror and unsettling mysteries, so these are right up my alley (Tanis is definitely more in the sci-fi/horror genre, but i like how it also digs into real unsolved cases and events). these are relatively well known, at least in that my friends who don’t listen to podcasts have listened to TBT at least. but they’re still great to check out if you haven’t. Limetown is really good, but ends on a cliffhanger and as far as i know there’s no immediate plans for a season 2? (i remember reading something about  them in talks for a TV show? which would be cool, but i’d miss the audio format of it). the first season is worth listening to, because it is really interesting and the audio production is pretty top notch - just be aware that a second season may or may not happen. what i’ve listened to of Hadron Gospel Hour so far is SUPER enjoyable, but i’ve only listened to the first few episodes.  arsPARADOXICA is FANTASTIC (at least the first season and a half that i’ve listened to). sally grissom is a great character and a brilliant and  scientist and i’m just really in love with her. this is a nice podcast because it has very capable women in it and the concept overall is really fascinating and handled really well. The Cleansed, set in a post-apocalyptic US, is well written and overall well produced (there’s one ep that still sits with me, because of a scene that truly unnerved me, just in the music and the atmosphere and the dialogue just ahh) and i’ve been meaning to pick it up again. In that same vein there’s We’re Alive, which is of the zombie variety. i’ve only juuuuust dipped into that one, but i’ve enjoyed what i’ve heard so far. this one has been around for a long time, like WTNV, so there’s a lot of episodes and a lot of content available. THE BRIGHT SESSIONS! i’m really really fond of this one and i just really love it, please listen. it’s about a psychologist who works with people who have “special” abilities, and all of the patients she helps are just so! precious!! i just love them a lot. Wooden Overcoats is a GREAT podcast that is pretty much the audio version of all my favorite British comedies that i watched growing up (think Fawlty Towers, Are You Being Served?, etc). it’s a comedy podcast about two competing funeral parlors (one of which is owned by the Funn’s). it’s exactly my kind of humor, and everyone involved just seems really great and kind. Antigone Funn has great lines and HONESTLY i’m surprised i haven’t seen more people quoting her and this podcast because it’s just! really great. and i don’t THINK this is a sister podcast to WO, but i always associate the two because they have some of the same people working on them but - Hector vs The Future is great. again, i haven’t listened to many episodes, but i’d still recommend it. it’s slightly different than other podcasts on this list because it’s actually filmed/recorded in front of a live audience. Homecoming is a short podcast (only 6 eps and the eps are pretty short) that i THINK is meant to be part of a larger, written universe (which i want to check out). it’s about soldiers with PTSD. this one actually has some well-known people involved - both Oscar Isaac and David Schwimmer voice characters and do a great job. The Darkest Night is another one with big names involved - Lee Pace is the narrator, which alone makes it worth checking out. overall, i’ve enjoyed it, but some episodes veer into areas i was kind of uncomfortable with (Tic-Tac-Toe is the one i’m stuck on and why i haven’t finished it yet ahh).  AND OK i really really really like space and space stories and space adventures, so my favs all have that in common hahaha Wolf359 is kind of like. okay, it’s about three people and an AI on a space station, light years away from earth - and the communications officer records his reports by pretending he’s doing a radio show. it starts off fun and humorous and things are great and then before you know it, you are going to be driving from Wichita Falls to Dallas and have to pull off on the side of the road because you’ve started sobbing while listening to it in your car. this podcast is fantastic, with a great cast of characters and strong women and DOUG EIFFEL and just. it’s very good. (i am ashamed to admit that i’m actually SUPER behind on this one. p much, i’m at the point where kepler and crew are on board but i’m only a few eps into this storyline). THIS is actually the podcast that really got me on board with the whole audio drama scene and just like….SCOURING the internet for more that would captivate me in the same way. This one is actually ending with this last season, which i think is a good thing? it’s very plot and character focused and i’m glad that they’re telling a complete story and HONESTLY! i’m just really excited to see where everyone involved goes from here. EOS_10!!!!! similar to Wolf359, it’s about a space station. there are a LOT more people there though (it’s more like an intergalactic hub). it’s about a doctor, his recovering alcoholic doctor-boss who he’s trying to help, a nurse who is spunky and maybe a bit psychotic, a hypochondriac alien-former-prince, and a “alleged” “terrorist” living in the cargo bay. idk this podcast just makes me incredibly happy. the writing is witty and fun, the characters are lovable and flawed, and i’ve listened to the whole two seasons at least 3 times because it just fills me with joy (my favorite dynamic always: assholes who are friends and they love each other but they also just….insult each other constantly. and somehow they save the world? but they’re still assholes). the universe of this show is really interesting without ever feeling like an info dump, and the unfolding mystery is very intriguing. WARNING: this show has been on hiatus for awhile, so there are only two seasons right now. but honestly??? it’s completely worth it. (obvi i’m hoping a third season will eventually come, but i enjoyed the first two enough that i love it regardless haha). and, finally, my current obsession. The Penumbra Podcast. it’s pretty much everything i’ve ever wanted in a series ever - detective film noir, but in space (on Mars), and literally everyone is queer. there’s a main story line (”Juno Steel and the [blank]”) and then one shots between each Juno story. the one shots are fantastic and really show the strength of the writers - sometimes being creepy, other times just being entertaining. The Juno Steel stories are the main running plot, done in the style of old detective radio shows - but also kind of twisting and upgrading the genre to be more inclusive and diverse. Juno Steel is a canonically non-binary and bisexual private eye (also canonically grumpy, sad most of the time, and a huge nerd who laughs at his own awful jokes in HIS OWN MONOLOGUES), and is the type of character you want to punch for being frustrating but who you also want to just…be…happy and protect from the universe. the writing in this is fantastic and beautiful and all of the characters are captivating. even one-off characters have a ton of personality and just add to the diversity/representation of the show. the voice work is top-notch and just!!! it’s so good!!!!! i have so many feelings!!!! (Juno hits close to home for me, with his self-esteem issues and depression and just…yeah, so i gushed about him there. i have a lot of feelings about the other characters but i’ve seriously rambled so much already so I WILL REFRAIN. also? gushing TOO much about a certain someone spoils the enjoyment of getting to know them at the same time Juno does) i REALLY enjoy audio drama-type podcasts so that’s mostly what i listen to. i’m also really into true crime and weird theories and occult stuff, but i’m particular about the podcasts i listen to for that. basically, i get attached to a specific host(s) and it’s hard for me to listen to anyone else talk about similar things haha. so as far as that goes, i love The Last Podcast on the Left (haha i get a bit nervous rec’ing this one because it’s really offensive, mostly in the early eps, and is def not for everyone but honestly!! i just love these boys a lot, and they discuss p much everything i’d ever be interested in ever). this one also led me to listen to Page Seven, which is celebrity gossip but honestly just really enjoyable to me. Two of the hosts from that show (Marcus is a LPOTL host as well) also do another show called Sex and Other Human Activities, which i’ve listened to a bit and enjoyed and deals with a lot of different issues - like sex, but also delving into depression and different things the hosts and their friends have gone through. but as far as non-fiction podcasts go, that’s pretty much it? i’m still planning on checking out Radio Dispatch, but that’s honestly mostly because it’s Molly (from Page Seven) and her brother and like i said, i have a problem. other podcasts i know of and have been meaning to check out: Hello From the Magic Tavern, The Adventure Zone, Pleasuretown, Lesser Gods, Tales of THATTOWN..... and ok, probably others but this has gotten excessive i am so sorry friends (some of the links may accidentally be wrong and i am very sorry)

[jawblade-a-blog]

REALLY  LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY.   RULES.  repost ,   don’t  reblog  !    tag  10  ! good  luck  !   TAGGED.  by myself   TAGGING.  all y’all lovely people GIMME YOUR IN DEPTH CHARACTER HEADCANONS

BASICS.

FULL  NAME :   Takashi Shirogane ( 白銀隆 ) NICKNAME :   Shiro AGE :  25 BIRTHDAY :   October 21st ETHNIC  GROUP :  Japanese NATIONALITY :   Japanese-American LANGUAGE / S : English, Japanese, bits of Altean and Galran SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :  asexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION :  aromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS :   single HOME  TOWN / AREA :  Yokohama, Kanagawa Prefecture, Honshu, Japan CURRENT  HOME :   Castle of Lions PROFESSION :  Black Paladin, leader of Team Voltron

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: deep black and cut short, the sides and back of his head shaved into an undercut. one long patch is left at the front, a forelock that hangs down over his forehead, reaching down just shy of his eyes. while this forelock used to be the same black as the rest of his hair, it’s now white, the colour lost under the severe stress he faced in Galra captivity. EYES :   a dark grey in colour, sometimes looking from a distance to be a deep brown or black. long eyelashes. FACE :  strong, sharp jawline, high cheekbones, long and straight nose, thick eyebrows. LIPS :   average, perhaps leaning on the thin side – often quite dry or cracked. COMPLEXION :  pale, but in a sickly, unnaturally caused kind of way, caused by complete lack of sunlight and possibly other events from his time in captivity. eyes often have dark circles beneath them. BLEMISHES :   none SCARS :  most notably, the lateral scar running across his nose, gained in a gladiator battle. the rest of his body is littered with scars, of all different varieties. large, jagged gashes, thin but deep lines, claw marks, sword slices, burns – just about anything you can think of. the placings are all very random, all clearly gained from battle, some overlapping. none of it is a pretty nor attractive sight, one of the many reasons he always has so much of his body covered. as well, there is a great deal of scarring on the bicep of his right arm, where skin meets the metal of his prosthetic. TATTOOS :  none HEIGHT :   6′2″ WEIGHT :   182 lbs. BUILD :   muscular and fit. chest and arms particularly toned, though his legs aren’t lacking in muscle mass. FEATURES :   Galran cybernetic prosthetic arm. ALLERGIES :   none, as far as he’s aware. USUAL  HAIR  STYLE :  kind of just how he wakes up. the only hair he really has that can be styled is his forelock, which is generally left alone. USUAL  FACE  LOOK :   clean-shaven. USUAL  CLOTHING :   not a lot of clothing variety in the middle of space. outside of his armour and his usual outfit though, he’d stick to long sleeves. lots of sweaters or shirts with long sleeves. his style always used to be very casual and comfortable.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S :   loss of those he cares for. isolation. captivity. the possibility that he might not be a good person, that he’s every bit a monster that the Galra are with everything he’s done and is capable of doing. loss of control. panic attacks. flashbacks. ASPIRATION / S :   defeat Zarkon and free those who have been under his control or enslaved by him. keep the other paladins as innocent as he can/they should be at their ages. keep the other paladins alive and get them all home safely. find and save matt and commander holt. work with keith to develop and show him his capabilities. POSITIVE  TRAITS :   loyal | supportive | patient | reliable | practical | observant | compassionate NEGATIVE  TRAITS :   represses feelings | paranoid | pessimistic | solemn | on occasion can let emotion direct him to reckless action | self-sacrificing MBTI :   DEFENDER ( ISFJ-A ) ZODIAC :   libra TEMPEREMENT :   melancholic SOUL  TYPE / S :    leader, helper, caregiver ANIMALS :   sable VICE  HABIT / S :    jaw clenching, finger tapping, biting the inside of his lip/cheek FAITH :  none GHOSTS ? :   doesn’t believe AFTERLIFE ? :   doesn’t believe REINCARNATION ? :   doesn’t believe ALIENS ? :   i mean. he wishes they weren’t real sometimes. POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT :  vol…tron?? whatever being against zarkon is. EDUCATION  LEVEL :    high. graduated the Galaxy Garrison at the top of his class.

FAMILY.

FATHER :    doesn’t really remember or know much about him MOTHER :    deceased. SIBLINGS :   Keith Kogane, adopted brother EXTENDED  FAMILY :   n/a. NAME  MEANING / S :    隆 ( takashi ), meaning “noble, prosperous”;  白銀 ( shirogane ), meaning “silver” HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? :   n/a.

FAVORITES.

BOOK :  a brief history of time by stephen hawking MOVIE :   n/a – he needs to pick a new one because all his old favourites are sci-fi and those are a lot less fun after you’ve lived it. 5  SONGS :  n/a ( forgive me, i’ve not settled on his favourite music yet ) DEITY :   n/a HOLIDAY :   new years MONTH :   september SEASON :   autumn PLACE :    his home – the one where he grew up and lived with his mom after moving from japan when he was very young. the home where he watched Keith grow up. WEATHER :   cool, but not cold. sunny, but with clouds in the sky and the chance of rain. SOUND :   wind blowing past leaves in the trees SCENT / S :    rain, freshly dried laundry, mom’s tonkatsu TASTE / S :    subtle flavours, most things fruity FEEL / S :   anything that isn’t metal. soft, anything that screams ‘comfort’ ANIMAL / S :    wolves NUMBER :  11 – his favourite time is 11:11 COLORS :   he’s been rethinking these, since a lot of his favourites now remind him of not so pleasant things these days.

EXTRA.

TALENTS :  leadership, knowing the right thing to say in most circumstances, combat – particularly hand to hand, picking up on and memorizing patterns, improvising, observation – particularly of people and their behaviours, ticks, etc. BAD  AT :  handling his own emotions, seeing his own value TURN  ONS :   n/a TURN  OFFS :   n/a HOBBIES :    exercising, sparring, reading, distracting himself from his thoughts and anxieties, avoiding sleep, spending time with those he cares about, cuddling TROPES :   Broken Ace, Awesome by Analysis, Team Dad, I Am a Monster, 100% Adoration Rating, Not So Above it All QUOTES :     “ If you get too worried about what could go wrong, you might miss a chance to do something great. ” “ Patience yields focus. ”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?           A1 :   uhhh i mean, since he’s a very main character, i get quite a bit of what i want from canon ngl. buuuut i’d love some full backstory of his life prior to kerberos, plus everything that happened while the galra had him prisoner. Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?           A2 :   oh god, idk. music with deep, heavy lyrics, but ultimately with optimistic messages? Q3 :   why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?           A3 :    okay so i’m a big red vs. blue fan, and i was seeing all kinds of people talking on tumblr about how shiro is so much like wash, who happens to be my favourite character and my biggest, oldest muse. finally caved and watch voltron, and… shiro ticks like, all of my boxes for a favourite character + character i can relate to on some levels. he’s complex, he’s broken, he struggles a lot internally but holds it together and helps others, he’s team dad, he’s self-sacrificing… i could go on, i really could. Q4 :   what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ?           A4 :   oh. uhm. see the answer above. i heard he was v much like wash except more chill and much less jaded, and also who could escape hearing him referred to as ‘space dad’. i’m weak for space/team dads. Q5 :   describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.           A5 :   holy shit nothing. i love him and his strengths and his flaws. Q6 :   what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?           A6 :   mm… we both believe more in others than ourselves, both v supportive of those we care about… there may be more??? but those stick out to me the most. Q7 :   how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?           A7 :   “Please stop playing on my fears” basically Q8 :   what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with ?         A8 :    everyone??? i love getting to explore the older brother/dad dynamic he has with the rest of the paladins, and how it differs between the four. also love the dynamic between enemies, particularly those who put him on edge, or worse. Q9 :   what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ?         A9 :    honestly i tend to wake up with inspiration bc he’s become my strongest muse, right up there with wash, buuuuut rewatching canon, having intense discussions about canon or AUs, and doing character analysis all give me an extra boost of inspiration, for sure. Q10 :   how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?           A10 :    like half the fucking day, holy shit. granted, my focus is shit and it’s not the only thing i’ve been doing. multitasking.