#I revisit this at least once a month

[felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna]

‘how many times have you watched wooyoung’s aotm?’ - ‘yes.’

[the-meme-monarch]

i WISH i could attach a screenshot of what I’m referring to here where kara tells you that swomp tried to teach eclaire to beatbox but the internet actively hates any image of this game existing on it and i can’t scrub through a playthrough for fear of them never encountering the dialogue and also i forgot to ask my sibling to screenshot it when we got the dialogue on xer game but it’s REAL i PROMISE

[gayerthanevertbh]

my tears ricochet.

pairings: older!natasha romanoff x fem!reader

n.r masterlist | navigation | n.r one-shots masterlist  

summary: after your divorce from natasha, life was never the same again. and when you and her revisit the past, it made you realize how much you were always in love with her.

warnings: unprotected sex, g!p natasha, dirty talking, pet names, sex on the couch, fingering, dry humping, angst, and fluff - 18+ MINORS DNI.

word count: 4.7k

author’s note: hopefully you’ll enjoy this one! 

You were once married to an Avenger. You felt seen and loved by this Avenger at some point, and you never doubted their feelings for you. But as time goes on, you two grow apart and lose touch with one another's emotions. You've become the stereotypical housewife who cooks for their individual party, provides the best sex that they require so that they never have to seek it elsewhere, washes their clothes, and takes care of them as they should be taken care of. But as the routine continues, you find yourself wanting more. The problem is that you feel guilty. Why should you feel bad about wanting more? Why should you feel guilty when everything is perfect? That's where you feel completely alone and unnoticed by the woman you love.

It continued for a year or two after your daughter turned six. You remember vividly that night when you had dinner with your family, and Natasha came home that night on a very cold night – well, morning. She was devastated, her hair was all over the place. She looked unhygienic, and you didn’t want to admit that to yourself. When you saw her by the door, you were angry. You were demanding her time for your daughter, but she always gave the same excuse. I’m doing this for our family, Y/n. Can’t you see that? You do appreciate what she gives. In fact, you never complained in your life.

After that argument, you brought a file of divorce papers and gave it to her before she left for another mission the following month. She appeared distressed by your actions and begged you - repeatedly - to wait for her until the mission was completed. But you simply told the older woman, "I'm done with this cycle, Nat. I can't do it anymore." When she got tired of convincing you to stay, she just nodded and left.

She was gone for at least 3 months around that time.

And when she returned home from Budapest, she found an empty house. The couch she bought in the first month of marriage was still sitting against the wall, but the majority of the furniture had vanished. She dashed into the bedroom, where she found the bed clean and an old vintage lamp on the floor. That's when she broke down - that's when she realized she'd messed up her marriage and that she'll never get you back.

Five months later, you won custody of your daughter with Natasha. Although Natasha could still see her daughter, you had complete control over whether or not she could take her out of the state. But Natasha mostly just listened to you and respected your wishes. She would come to see you twice a month, mostly to look after Riley while you were at work. And when you returned home, Natasha would leave you food that she had ordered while you were away.

Everything you two had in the past had come to an end; you were now civil with her, which was a new routine - and you liked it at times, but you missed her. You must have missed her terribly. It's as if whenever she was away on a mission or simply unavailable, you would reflect on the times you spent with the woman. She was so caring, intelligent, and romantic that you wondered if you could ever be as romantic as her. She gave you everything you deserved in life. So most of the time, you felt guilty and unwanted.

You wanted your wife back, your wife that she used to be.

It was a Sunday afternoon, and you looked at the window noticing that the skies were gray once again. It had been raining in your state for quite some time, but you’re sure enough that there’ll be a storm around nighttime. You were making lunch while listening to quiet jazz music until Riley came to the room and asked: “Can I see Francis today, Mommy?”

You turned over your shoulder and jutted your lower lip out, knowing that it was too dangerous to go out and play.

“Honey I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s possible today.”

She sighed, holding her teddy bear close to her chest.

“Francis wants to play with my dolls,” she said in a very tiny voice. “And there’s no school today, why can’t I play with her?”

“Because there’s a storm coming, sweetheart. We have to stay at home for now,” you walked towards your daughter and pecked her left cheek. She smiled at your gesture, it definitely warms your heart. “But guess what? Mama will be visiting later! She brought something for you.”

Her face brightens up, as her grin widens. “Really? Mama bought me another set of trains?”

“Well, she said it was a surprise,” you responded, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “But don’t worry, I’m sure my little girl would love it.”

After you finished preparing lunch, Riley went back to her room, and you continued working in the kitchen. Suddenly, you heard a bell coming from the front door. Natasha came into the house after hearing your daughter squeal before you could turn around. She ran to her mother and immediately embraced her tightly around the neck.

“Oh, my baby,” Natasha sighed, kissing her forehead. “I’ve missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, Mama,” Riley whispered, giggling as Natasha pinched her soft cheeks. “Did you bring me a toy?”

“Hmm, if I could get a kiss first.”

After giving Natasha a second peck on the cheek, Riley jumped to the ground to retrieve a box from behind her. You looked back at your daughter, curious to see what she had received from Natasha this time.

“It’s a train! The one I wanted!”

“I’ll give you everything you want, my darling. Everything.”

You chuckled, your arms crossed tightly across your stomach. “You’re spoiling her too much, Nat. She’s gonna expect this from you whenever you come back home from work.”

The older woman smiled at you kindly, and replied: “It’s the only time that I get to see her, so she deserves everything.”

You could tell by her smile that she yearned for you to give her another chance, which caused you to look away from her gaze and give your attention back to the kitchen, leaving the two pairs alone and playing.

You had this strange feeling inside of you that yearned for her as well, but you couldn't say it out loud. You could never admit that you missed her, despised her, and still loved her. You noticed Natasha playing with another toy train with Riley as you brought three plates to the dining table. You enjoyed watching them play; it was one of your greatest joys.

You can't say that out loud either.

You kept your mouth shut as always and continued to become hysterical.

As the hours passed, Natasha was putting Riley to sleep in order to get back to her house before the storm hit. You had just finished picking up, which meant that you were prepared to head to bed as soon as the older woman departed. As you passed by your bedroom, you noticed that Riley's door was cracked open just a little bit.

You decided to give it a shot and observed the two girls conversing.

“Do you miss Mommy?" Riley inquired, her face stricken with sadness: "It hurts you to see it.

Natasha nodded, which wasn’t so surprising.

"I do," she said quietly, as if it were a dirty secret, and pushed some of Riley's hair away from her face. “But it’s over now, sweetheart. We both agreed to be with you, though. So you’ll always see me, okay?”

“You’ll never disappear?”

Natasha smiled, tears welling up in the brim of her eyelids as she softly kissed her daughter's forehead. This scenery made your heart clench, and you realized how much it hurts to lose someone you care about in this way. It hurts way too much, it’s almost insane that you feel this way.

“I will never disappear, baby. I promise.”

“Do you still love Mommy?”

Natasha chuckled, placing the teddy bear in between your daughter’s arms.

“I love her with all of my heart, Riles. I will always love your mother.”

This feels like a train wreck for you, and you absolutely hated it.

"I hope Mommy loves you too," Riley yawned, her eyes fluttering shut as slumber overtook her. Natasha sighed deeply and turned off the bedside lamp. You hurried downstairs and prepared her jacket for her before she could leave the bedroom, so you wouldn't have to talk to her when she leaves.

You turn your head when Natasha comes back down, rubbing her left eye tiredly before smiling sadly at you.

“You have a place to stay?” you asked, knowing that somewhere deep in your heart, you’ll always be concerned for her.

“Yeah, I’ll be in New York for a little while before I find a new job.”

A new job? Since when did she want a new job?

You couldn’t help but ask, “What do you mean by a new job?”

The older redhead looks at you briefly and gazes at the ground, replying quietly to your question. “I retired.”

“From being an Avenger?” she nodded. You never expected this from her, not in your damn life. Why would she quit now? Her being an Avenger revolved around her life, it was her first happiness before she met you. So why would she quit now? You can’t keep your mouth shut.

“Why?”

She tucks her hand into her pockets, looking at you with bright green eyes.

“Because I’m done being an Avenger,” she said. “I just… want to live a normal life.”

“H-How are you going to get a job? You’re a criminal everywhere, Nat. I don’t think it’s–”

“Tony will be sending me money every once a month,” she chuckled, taking a few steps closer to you. “I deserve every ounce of it, anyway. But while he does that, I’ll do my best to find a job. Probably work as a mechanic, who knows?”

You nodded, giving her a sidelong glance.

“You’re gonna have a hard time.”

“I know,” Natasha whispered, giving you a sad smile. “But I can do it.”

“I know you can.”

For a while, neither of you moved, until a thunderclap shook the sky, causing you to jump. You chuckled as you walked into the living room and sat on the edge of the couch.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t like the sound of… that.”

“I know,” she chuckled wholeheartedly because deep down inside of her, she knew everything about you. Likes and dislikes. “You’re still cute.”

“Don’t flirt with me like that.” you pointed out, straightening your voice.

“Don’t flirt like what?”

“Like you want me back.”

Natasha pushes back her hair – which you notice how short it was – and asked quietly, “You don’t want me to flirt with you?”

“Does it look like I want you to?”

"No," her heart clenches at the sound of your voice, making her more tense - which sometimes scares her because she doesn't like seeing you angry; it's one of her flaws. “But you know my answer, you know what I want.”

She can be too honest at times like this, too bold whenever she has the chance. You gave her a solemn look before turning away. Because showing your vulnerability to her will make you appear to want her as much as she does. But you want her, and you want her badly.

Natasha walks in front of you and kneels on the ground, softly touching your knee with her calloused hands. You look at her gesture but don't appear to move away from it. She looked at you with puffy cheeks and eyes that were more sorrowful than usual.

“Have you found someone else?”

You shake your head, she continued.

“Do you want me back?”

You shake your head once more, and this is when she lets out a quiet sympathetic laugh.

“You’re lying to me, Y/n.”

“I’m telling the truth,” you stated, pushing the tears away from your eyes. She tries to hold your hand, but you pull away from her grasp – showing a hurtful expression on her face. “Natasha, we can’t.”

“I promise I’ll be good to you this time…”

“That’s–” you let out a stressful sigh and pinch your nose bridge. “I don’t want to fight, okay? We both agreed to be civil for our daughter, so let’s just keep doing that.”

“I never stopped thinking about you.”

“Nat–”

"I still love you," her voice and touch become more desperate. "When we divorced, I never looked at anyone else in my life except you," she sniffled. “I never dared to touch a woman because I still love you. Did you know that? You have no idea how many times I've thought about you in a day, how many times I want to love you all over again - like you deserve to be loved."

You pushed her away as you turned your body away from her, more tears streaming down your cheeks. You've become weak once more, far too weak when it comes to her. Natasha tries to touch you, but she stays put.

“You’re being ridiculous,” you muttered, throwing your hands in the air. “Who asked you to be devoted to me after our divorce? You’re making yourself miserable because I’m never going to fall in love with you ever again!”

“You know what you’re saying is not true, Y/n,” Natasha shakes her head, biting her lower lip. “You know that’s not true.”

“You’re just a pain in the ass for not believing it then! God, you’re so hard to talk to.”

She mumbled, “Fine. Maybe I’m a pain in the ass, but at least I have never lied to you. I have been devoted to you since I first met you, and I never looked at anyone the moment I fell in love with you. You’ve become my whole world, my entire being. You are what I breathe and what I take, you are what I need when I go to bed and when I need to be loved. Every time I get back home from a mission, I crave your hugs. Because they only make me feel better when it’s you because it’ll always be you!”

You let out a hiccup, which you never expected, and watched Natasha’s throat bobbing as she controlled her tears. You were supposed to have a good night, but things got out of hand once more and you just painfully wanted to go to sleep and forget about how you two got here. But your emotions took over you, and it did for her as well.

“You were always gone, Natasha,” you sobbed, feeling your voice lighter as you hugged your torso. She turned her gaze away from you, knowing what she had done. “I respect what you do, but I needed you as well. I needed you to help me take care of Riley, I needed you when we were going broke. I needed you when Riley turned s-six, and I needed you when I couldn’t handle that cycle anymore.”

"But you weren't there," you sniffled, wiping your tears with the hem of your shirt. "You decided to spend more time with your friends at the pub, decided not to read my message when I needed money for the rent, and especially when it was our wedding anniversary! You didn’t give a damn about me and our marriage, you only cared when you were hurt! But what about me, Nat? What about me? I was always hurting when you were gone!”

“Baby…”

You lift a finger at her, letting out a sarcastic laugh. “Don’t call me that, you don't get to call me that.”

“I’m sorry–”

"I know you're a loyal woman," you said, smiling briefly. "I believe you would never cheat on me. But sometimes maybe I prefer you cheating on me so I have a reason to leave your stupid ass! You hurt me, Natasha. You're always causing me pain! And you know what’s worse? I still fucking love you!”

You tried standing up to avoid the agonizing silence, but two strong hands held your waist down, her head motioning to your chest. She sobbed alongside you, desperately kissing your neck. You tried to push her away, but you let her hand move to your torso until she wrapped her arms around you tightly. Natasha sobbed until your shirt was soaked in her tears.

"I'm here now," she said quietly, looking you in the eyes as she always does. “I’m here now and I’m so sorry you felt that way, darling. I’m sorry, okay? I’m really sorry for everything, I didn’t mean to hurt you this way. I just… I wanted what’s best for you a-and our beautiful daughter.”

You were aware of this. Of course, you were aware of this. Natasha would go out of her way for you and your daughter. She would move the moon for you, giving you what you needed until you could truly say you were satisfied. But money, even if it was luxurious, was not always the solution. It was her love that prevailed.

“We’re meant to be together,” she continues to sob, holding your face as she brings your forehead against hers. “You’re always going to be the first girl I’ll lay eyes on. I love you so much, darling. I love you too much to let you go.”

You shake your head, knowing that you could always come back to her with her sweet words and innocent touch - which you didn't want. But, knowing yourself too well, you desired that above all else in the world.

She took advantage of the opportunity to softly kiss your lips, letting out a quiet moan as she feels your lips after a long time of desperately wanting to taste you again. She draws your face in closer, refusing to let you go. She probes the depths of your mouth, re-memorizing you - as she always does. You couldn't push her away because you felt her tongue on the roof of your mouth. Natasha has captured your heart once more, and you know you don't want to let go.

The older woman pulled away with a smacking sound before whispering, “I fucked up bad, I know that now. But I promise you, I will be good to you this time, little girl. I promise, okay? I’m here now, I’m never going far away again.”

Give her a chance, explore the moment. You want her, you know it yourself.

You stared deeply into the wonders of her eyes, taking a moment of happiness. After months and months of sorrow, of mourning for that matter, you finally have her again – you needed to take it all in.

“I know,” you smiled, feeling more tears in your eyes. “I’m giving you another chance.”

Natasha gently pushes you back onto the couch and separates your legs so she can get in between them. She kisses you slowly and sensuously, her hands exploring the side of your waist until her fingers are hooked into your shorts. "I've thought about this moment, did you know that?" she pulls her lips away for a brief moment.

You moaned when you felt your shorts being pulled down from your legs, feeling the cold air hit your skin as you felt more of her open-mouth kisses on your jaw and all the way down to your neck. The redhead brought her thumb to your face cheek and made circular motions while staring down at you, smiling to herself. Finally, she had you once again. She couldn’t believe it.

“D-Do you want to do it here?” she asked hastily, after removing your undergarments. You nodded, looking from the side to find protection – which seems to be not in the living room since you don’t put those kinds of stuff in your house. And plus, you haven’t had sex in a while. “Baby, I don’t have a condom with me.”

"It's okay," you said, catching her lips and feeling her warm breath enter your mouth. She moaned lowly above you, unbuttoning her pants and pulling them down to her ankles. “You have to pull out, though.”

“Yeah,” she mumbled, her tongue darting on the skin of your neck, groaning to herself. “Oh, you make me so happy… You want me to fuck you here? Out in the open? What if our Riley–”

“She’s dead asleep,” you giggled, massaging her dick through her boxers as you received a long, strained moan from her, which turned you on even more. “You’re getting hard, Tasha…”

“Rub it, baby,” she whispers, rushing down her words. You squint your eyes to see an evident wet patch on her underwear, continuing to stroke your hand onto her covered cock. “Oh fuck, that’s it–Mmph… your hand f-feels so good.”

You take your time to stroke her cock through her boxers, watching her whimper and biting her lip to prevent letting out loud sounds wake your daughter up. You enjoyed doing this, watching the woman immensely falling apart for you, and the more you stroked her harder and faster, the more she rolls her hips down on you.

You began to ask, “You want to fuck me?”

“Uh-huh,” she muttered, her thumb circling your clit, smirking as you began to let out tiny moans. “Y-You like it when I touch you like this, kotenok?”

“Please–”

"You're so wet for me," she says softly as two of her fingers spread through your folds, almost entering your tight entrance. She shudders above you, then continues to finger your cunt until she is satisfied. “I’m gonna put it in now, okay? Let me just pull down my underwear.”

Her cock grew another inch after she removed her boxers. She almost sits up and strokes her thick length, watching her bulbous head turn red with torment. You observe her hand stroking her penis while your inner walls clench each time pre-cum dribbles on your lower stomach, a string connecting to your skin and to her head. She slides her hand beneath your shirt, gasping as she feels your nipple harden against her palm.

“Gonna break you in, again?” she chuckles, strongly kissing your lips. You held her face as the tip of her cock was at your entrance, moving the head up and down to gather more of your juices – which felt sensitive. “Shh, keep your voice down little girl, you’re gonna wake our daughter up.”

Once she slid inside of you, you and her moaned together as the air thickened around the room. Natasha holds your waist closer to hers, slowly ripping you apart once again. She stutters out a moan before pressing her lips on the corner of your mouth, pushing more of her length until both of your pelvises have touched.

“Fuck,” she whispers, looking down at both of your sex. “Y-Youre so tight, and so warm… you take my dick so good, little girl.”

“Tasha,” you moaned out her name as your voice got pitchier. “T-Too big.”

“You can take it,” Natasha mumbled as she slowly pulls out, pushing back in once again without any restraints. “Too small for my dick, huh?”

She continued this motion, slowly pulling out and pushing back in while peppering kisses all over your face. You scratched her back, wanting to hold onto something while she let out a hiss, but smirked because she liked it whenever you did that to her. The older woman starts to pick up an unusual pace since you both had to be quiet or else you would get caught red-handed.

“I like the way your pussy clenches around me,” Natasha grunted as she got turned on even more by the sloshing sounds coming down from your cunt. “You like this, huh? You like being fucked by me? Ruining you all over again? Tell me you like this…”

You gasped for air as you fluttered your eyes closed, feeling her thick cock pounding into you slowly. “I-I love this,” you mewled. “Go faster, Tash. Ruin my pussy.”

“Argh, you want me to ruin your pussy?”

“Uh-Huh…”

She withdraws her length from your pussy, slapping her head against your clit, causing you to moan aloud. “Okay, baby. I’ll ruin this fucking tight pussy.”

Natasha covers your mouth with her damp hand as she continues to roll her hips into you, the couch creaking and shifting slightly. She thrusts into you at a faster pace, your skin slapping together, filling the room with wet noises. She smirked, biting her own lip and containing her own pleasurable moans as she looked down at your sweaty face.

“Can’t c-control myself when I’m with you,” she whispers breathlessly, whimpering each time her head hits your spot. “Fuck, you’re taking me all in, huh? You’re such a good little girl, baby. Such a good little girl…”

"Ah!" you screamed into her hand as you felt her penis pistoning inside of you, the creaking of your couch becoming more audible, and you're sure Riley's room can hear it. You put your hand on her hips to slow her down, and she did. But she kept giving hard thrusts, moaning each time she was buried deep inside you.

“You make me want to bust my nut into you,” the woman panted hard, her hips making circular motions to keep maneuvering her cock inside of your depth walls. “Gonna remove my h-hand now, okay? Stay quiet.”

She slowly moves her hand away from your mouth and kisses your lips with such need, her hands moving up and down on your waist as she continues to fuck you on the couch, her ass clenching each time she hits the spot inside of you that she loved. She looked behind her shoulder to see if her daughter was awake, but she was glad she wasn't anywhere near both of you.

She continued to pound you hard into the cushions, lifting your hips to the side so she could go deeper into you.

“Ugh yeah,” she whined as she shut her eyes tightly. “Shit, shit shit… Take it all in, sweet girl. F-Fuck me!”

“You feel so good inside of me,” you let out a long moan, threading your fingers through her short hair. “Keep going, Tasha. K-Keep going.”

"Oh my fucking god, you're taking me so well," she begins, making the entire couch shake and creak loudly. She didn't care if anyone heard you both, but if her daughter awoke from the strange sound coming from the living room, she would quickly pull out. Despite knowing her daughter was a heavy sleeper, she continued to rock her hips back and forth until there were red marks on your thighs. “Take it, take it, take it…”

Your moans started to get louder and louder, and you were holding Natasha tightly from her back as you felt your inner walls being abused by her penis, her thick long dick. The woman starts to helplessly moan and kisses your mouth hard.

“I’m gonna fucking cum all over your stomach,” she whispers slowly to you, bringing your hips up and down to take her length all the way inside of you. “You wanna cum with me, baby doll? Wanna cum with me? Oh fuck, I’m going to blow–”

Natasha pulls out quickly as she presses the tip of her cock against your clit, furiously rubbing it to catch your orgasm. You grabbed her neck and screamed, "I'm cumming! I’m gonna cum–Oh my god, Nat… I’m gonna cum!”

“Me too, baby! I’m here now–shit!”

You roll your eyes back as you feel your legs twitching from your orgasm, the head of her cock rubbing up and down on your clit, intensifying your orgasm. As the world darkens around you, you arch your back, knowing that it has become this much for you. Natasha looks down at your face and pumps her cock hard, spitting thick sperm all over your cunt, coating your clit and folds. She lets out a deep moan and thrusts her dick into her hand as she continues to cum. Her thick sperm coated your cunt, but most of it was on your lower stomach.

Her balls contracted as she continued to pump herself. As soon as she slows down, she sighs heavily and hugs you from behind, kissing your reddened cheeks while smiling softly down at you. Natasha whispered, “That was amazing, baby girl. You did such a great job for me.”

"Thank you," you muttered as you fell asleep, too tired to speak and too tired to think. Natasha recognized this and decided to kiss you on the cheek one last time before standing up to find a blanket for the two of you, butt naked. She decides to slip her unhardened cock inside your vagina once she is comfortable with her position behind you and sleeps peacefully on your warm walls hugging her dick.

i got lazy at the end but hope you enjoyed this one!

[elexuscal]

The "Top" fics in fandom are not the "Best"

I've seen a couple of posts here in there implying that the ways to find the best fics in fandoms are just to go to ao3, and sort by 'Most Kudoses', 'Most Bookmarks', 'Most Comments', etc. I've also seen some folks say they feel like their fics are failures if they don't make it to the front page(s), or at least near there.

But the simple fact: this is not true.

Now, I'm not saying that the top-rated fics in a fandom are bad.

Far from it! They're often very popular for a reason. Well written, fun dynamics, cool plots, etc. A lot of my own favourite fics have made it to the first page when you sort by "Most Kudos"-- but then, a lot of mine also haven't.

Why?

Because those selections are inherently biased.

What do I mean by that? Just that there are other factors influencing what stories accumulate the most comments/kudoses/etc in a fandom, meaning none of these serve as a neutral metric of quality.

I'm going to explain some of these biases briefly, just so folks get a sense of what I mean:

Age Bias This, I think, is the easiest to grasp. A fic that is three years old just has had more time to gain views than a fic that's three days old. Also, consider that pretty much any fandom needs time to grow. If you're in the first days/weeks/months of a fandom, there probably just isn't that much content being made. If there's only 10 fics on the archive, then 11th one stands out. It'll get a lot of attention. But if that same fic were to come out a couple years later, when there were 11 fics published in a single day, well, people are more likely to miss it. If you doubt me, take a look at the front page of 'Most Kudos' for a fandom of your choice. You'll probably see a lot of the stories there are on the older side- and this is exactly why.

Multi-Chapter Bias There are a lot of ways people find new fics to read, and one of the most basic is just: look at the front page of the most recent updates. Now, this way of sorting fics is exactly what it sounds like. A list of fics in order of when they were most recently posted/updated. But, obviously, if a fic has multiple chapters, it's going to appear on that front page way more often. A 50 chapter epic has 49 more chances to get seen this way than a one-shot. This issue becomes even more intense when you consider the Most Comments sort option. For a one shot, a person is probably likely to only comment once. Maybe if they really love the story and revisit, they'll leave a second or third. But multi-factor fics? By design, people come back every update. And that means a lot of people leave comments every single time. (Or at the very least, after big plot developments and twists!) This is what leads to long-running multi-chapter epics dominating the 'Most Comments' rankings in most fandoms.

Popular Pairing Bias Again, this is just obvious. Some pairings are more popular than others. A rare-pair fic can be just as soulful, hot, and well-written as a story featuring the fandom's powerhouse fic, but if only 30 people are interested, well... [shrug] Less people will click on it, kudos it, and leave a comment. To a lesser extent, you can expand this to any trope. 'Coffee Shop AUs' just seem to be more popular than, say, '1930s Mobster AUs'. That effects what tags people search, and what fics they find. But shipping is such an important element of many fandom cultures I thought it would be the most illustrative.

Positive Feedback Loop Bias And honestly, this is maybe the real clincher. Because I've established some of the things that can cause a story to start gathering lots of kudos, comments, and bookmarks in a first place. But once that starts, you get a positive feedback loop going. Because what's one of the first things a person does when they're looking for good stories in a fandom? They sort by 'Most Kudos'. And then they select the first story on the list, and they like it. So they leave a comment and kudos and... Yeaaaah.

So... What do we do about it?

Well. Nothing really. This isn't really a problem. It's just something to be aware of.

Any attempt to put metrics on something as subjective as art is going to fall short. So don't go rating the quality of your own stories about how well it performs, and don't go chasing those coveted top spots. You'll have a lot more fun if you just write stuff that you enjoy, make some friends, and recognise a lot of factors influence fanfic statistics beyond just quality.

Searching via most comments/kudoses/bookmarks remains one of the easiest and quickest ways to start diving into a new fandom. It's often the first things I do, and found stories I love that way.

That said: I highly encourage you to search for fics beyond just that method. Here are some of my suggestions if you want to figure out ways to get started:

Search up Fanfic Rec Lists. Lots of people put them on their blogs, and websites like TVTropes even have that as a whole feature

Ask for fic recs! Seriously! Post about it in the fandom's tumblr tag, join Discord communities, etc, and just say, "Hey, I'd love to read a story where... [insert the general themes, characters, or plot points you like". People will be EXCITED to share.

Search by specific tags Like, do you really, really love time loops? Search the 'Time Loop' tag in your favourite fandoms. A lot of specific tropes, AUs, etc. are canonized, so you can find a lot of stuff up your alley that way

Browse the most recently updated fics Yeah, I know, it's old school. But seriously, you can find some awesome stuff there-- including stories from new authors just starting out, who could really use a boost!

And hey... if you find some stories you like... Consider writing some fic recommendation lists of your own. Spread the love!

[wongyuseokie]

Drift Away | k.m.g

Summary: You made the biggest mistake of your life, and now, Mingyu is trying his hardest to forget and forgive you, but how long till your infidelity rips you both apart? Besides, it’s not like you’d blame him. You hurt him. You did the one thing you promised never to do.

☆ 18+ minors dni |☀︎fluff | ☁︎ angst | ♕ smut |  ♥ completed works

Word Count: 9321 words

Pairings: Kim Mingyu x Female Reader

Genre/Trope(s)/AUs: Fluff, Smut & Angst, Idol! AU, but like it’s not that important. It just sets the tone, I guess? Like why he stays in a dorm, etc.

Content Warnings: Cheating AU! slut shaming, blaming, crying, fighting. Soonyoung is kind of a dick, but it’s truly very warranted. Chan makes lame jokes, and it’s adorable. Cheol is the best human ever. Insecurities about wealth and fame gap between the reader and Gyu. Mingyu is honestly the bestest boy ever, and the reader makes a terrible choice, but let’s see.

Smut Warnings: Unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, pussy slapping (like once). Is Mingyu growling a warning? Creampie. I think that’s it.

Authors Note: This fic involves infidelity, I don’t condone it, but I’m aware it’s different for everyone, just know that this is a work of fiction, and you should never feel like you should accept anything, but the best for you 🥺 High key broke my own heart writing this.

Authors Note 2: Thank you so much to @spacequokka​ for beta'ing this angsty mess for me. I love you dearly for this! 💕 also, thank you so much to my fellow emotional mess baby @the-boy-meets-evil​ for helping me edit. Finally, a big thank you to my lovely SVTHub friends for reading this over thank you lovelies, @multi-kpop-fanfics​, @bitchlessdino​ and thank you @onlymingyus​ for the title 💕

Authors Note 3: Also if you’ve seen this fic before, it’s because it was something I’d published once for a different group, but I wanted to revisit and rework it 🩷

Cross Posted to AO3

© wongyuseokie 2023. All rights reserved.

“So, I thought we could go on a road trip, just you and I. I know things haven’t been great, but I thought this could help us reconnect,” you suggested to Mingyu during dinner, and you could see him roll his eyes at you.

“I’m trying to make an effort here,” you mumbled, making Mingyu glare at you.

“Because that’ll make everything you did okay?” Mingyu asked, and you looked down in shame.

“Gyu, it was a mistake,” you defended weakly, sliding your hand over to hold his, making him flinch and move his hand away from you.

“You fucked someone else. I asked you if I was enough, and I wasn’t, so you left to find someone else,” Mingyu snarled, and you sighed.

“You were always gone for months on end–” you started to say, and Mingyu glared at you.

“Do not give me that shit, don’t you fucking dare. Do you realise I could have done the same thing? I know it’s not ideal to have me as your boyfriend, but I could have cheated on you, but I didn’t because I love you,” Mingyu’s voice cracked at the word love.

“I’m sorry,” you apologised.

“‘Sorry’ won’t change any of it,” Mingyu muttered.

“Then why are you still here?” You asked. There was no anger in your voice, just genuine and pure confusion. “Why stay?”

“Because…” Mingyu started to say, pausing to wipe a tear off his face. 

“Because I still fucking love you, like a moron. I want to believe that we can move past this,” Mingyu admitted.

Your heart broke at the sight, and you got up from your seat, walked over to Mingyu and motioned to his lap, and Mingyu nodded slowly. You slid into his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“I’ll do anything. I promise I won’t hurt you again,” you promised, and Mingyu simply stared at you as you held his face in your hands.

“Y/N,” Mingyu stopped you as you moved to kiss him.

“I can’t, not yet, at least,” Mingyu admitted, and you nodded quickly, sliding off his lap.

“Look, I’ll be in the bedroom. I’ve lost my appetite.” Mingyu said, sliding out of his seat and heading upstairs. You felt tears run down your face, and you hated that you were the one crying when you did this.

You wiped your tears away, cleaned up the table, and headed to the bedroom, smiling softly when you noticed Mingyu sitting on the bed, running a towel through his freshly washed hair.

“Can I help you?” Mingyu asked, snapping you out of your daydream.

“Uh, I can take the couch,” you mumbled. “No. You can take the guest room, not the fucking couch. You don’t need to punish yourself. It won’t give me any comfort,” Mingyu spat, “and,” he added, voice softer. “I said we shouldn’t sleep separately because we will get comfortable like that, and then this will be over,” Mingyu added.

“I’m giving you space,” you mumbled. It made Mingyu sigh, drop the towel on the bed and walk over to you.

“You had space when I went on tour, and you fucked someone else, so no. I don’t think space is what we need,” Mingyu explained, and you looked down, unable to look him in the eyes.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” you said dumbly, knowing that you already had hurt him, which made  Mingyu glare at you.

“You broke me. There’s nothing else left to break. However, for some ridiculous reason, I still fucking love you, and I’m trying not to get mad because, despite the fact you slept with someone else, I still want you in my life,” Mingyu said, gritting his teeth.

You stayed still, unsure what to say, unable to look him in the eyes. Mingyu just huffed out in annoyance at your silence.  

“I’m going to bed. You do what you want. That’s what you seem to be good at anyway,” Mingyu scoffed as he moved away from you and moved to lie down on the bed and sleep.

You hopped into the shower once Mingyu started snoring softly, and you prayed that the running water would drown out your sobs. You had done the worst thing possible to the kindest person ever and had the nerve to cry.

You finished quickly and found Mingyu’s shirt hanging on the door and, out of habit, slipped it on once you dried yourself.

Once you exited the shower, you found your spot on the bed next to him, and out of habit again, Mingyu sleepily wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you into his chest.

You heard his soft snores and allowed yourself to fall asleep in his embrace, and just for a minute, imagine that your relationship was fine. Even then, peace was elusive as your mind replayed the day you told Mingyu that you cheated and how broken and devastated he looked.

“Mingyu, sit,” you said, your voice low and emotionless. Mingyu looked concerned but did as you asked and sat down next to you.

“Wait, are you breaking up with me the day after I got back from tour? Because ouch,” Mingyu joked, and you shook your head.

“No, but you might.”

Mingyu’s smile vanished when he noticed the lack of humour in your voice.

“What happened? Are you pregnant? Because if so, we can deal with it,” Mingyu offered, and you simply shook your head, your heart aching at how kind and considerate he was.

“You weren’t here for so long. It was the night after we got into a fight, and it was so fucking stupid–”

Mingyu felt his world fall apart as the words left your mouth. “You didn’t because you said you love me,” Mingyu interrupted, refusing to believe a word, and you looked up at him, eyes red and puffy.

“Was it once?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded.

“It was so fucking stupid,” you choked out, and Mingyu pressed his lips together.

“You know, of all the people in the world, I didn’t think you’d be the one to make me feel like this,” Mingyu choked out, his voice cracking. You tried to reach out and touch his hand, and Mingyu flinched.

“Don’t you fucking dare! When and where?” Mingyu yelled, and you shrank.

“Does it matter?” You asked, and Mingyu glared at you.

“It fucking matters,” he snapped. You nodded.

“His place. I left after it happened. I just felt so guilty,” you explained, your voice cracked with each word. Mingyu nodded.

“Well, you should. I’m glad you had the decency not to defile our bed,” Mingyu spat as he grabbed his bag, stood up, and took a deep breath before speaking again.

“I thought tonight I could make up for all the time I spend away from you. I would have held, touched, and kissed you all night. I would have spent all the time I had making it right, but you decided I wasn’t worth the wait,” Mingyu admitted with a broken sob, a sad smile gracing his handsome face.

“I was lonely,” you admitted weakly, needing to defend yourself. Mingyu scoffed at you.

“You don’t think I get lonely? I fucking do, but I didn’t once cheat because I love you and respect you. Sadly, you can’t say the same,” Mingyu stated.

“Mingyu, I love you. It was a mistake, a stupid fucking mistake. Please, just one more chance. I need you to know how sorry I am,” you begged, and Mingyu sighed.

“I need space from you. For now, I need to let my anger pass because right now, I can’t bear the sight of you,” Mingyu said, and you just stared at him.

Mingyu sighed deeply and pulled you into his arms as you sobbed into his chest.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” you cried, and Mingyu placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“I will reach out. Just give me some time,” Mingyu promised, a tight smile on his handsome face. You nodded as you watched him walk out the door, and you fell to the ground sobbing.

“Y/N, wake up,” Mingyu said, shaking you awake.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Mingyu asked as he switched on the light and noticed your tear-stained face. You couldn’t bear to look at him, not when he was still concerned about your well-being, not when you had broken his heart.

“Mingyu, I’m so fucking sorry,” you wailed.

“I know.”

You whimpered as the sobs wouldn’t stop. “I just need time,” Mingyu said, and you nodded.  

“Why did you stay? Why didn’t you leave me?” you asked, and Mingyu shrugged.

“It takes a lot more effort to stay and make a relationship work than just to get up and leave. Unless that’s why you cheated? Did you want an out?” Mingyu explained, and you shook your head at his question.

“No. I just wanted to feel less lonely,” you explained weakly, and Mingyu sighed.

“I know I still love you. I just can’t trust you yet. I need time to heal,” Mingyu admitted.

“Mingyu?” You said softly, and Mingyu smiled softly back at you, wiped your tears away, and gently placed his lips on yours. It was the first time he had kissed you since the night you told him.

“Give me time,” Mingyu repeated, and you nodded as Mingyu turned off the light and laid back down, and you laid down next to him, feeling him pull you in again. Tighter against him this time, you felt yourself drift off into a dreamless sleep.

You woke up the following day, found Mingyu fast asleep, and smiled when you saw how handsome and calm he looked. You got out of bed and made your way into the shower and then to the kitchen.

“Morning,” you heard Mingyu as you felt his arms wrap around your waist, his lips gently meeting your neck, making you sigh as you melted against his touch.

“Shit, sorry,” Mingyu cursed, pulling away from you.

“Habit, I guess,” Mingyu mumbled, making you pout, not letting his actions affect you too much.

He had every right to be upset.

“So, um. What are you up to today?” you asked as you handed Mingyu a cup of tea.

“I think Seungcheol hyung is coming by to hand me a present of some sort,” Mingyu replied.

Mingyu bit his lip. He wanted to warn you and tell you that the boys deeply resented you for what you did. At the same time, he wanted to see you feel as horrible as he did, so he kept his mouth shut.

“Oh! I’ll get that,” you offered when you heard a knock on the front door, and Mingyu hesitated, hoping to stop you, but he nodded.

You couldn’t hide from the boys; they had been waiting to chew you out since the day they found out. However, Mingyu was glad it was Seungcheol who was headed over. He could trust his hyung to be diplomatic. He could not expect that of Soonyoung or Chan.

“Y/N,” Seungcheol greeted you. The eyes that once held fondness and love for you were now filled with rage and anger.

“Mingyu, good to see you,” Seungcheol said as he embraced him. You wanted to leave the room, unable to hide your shame.

“Y/N, we don’t usually ever get involved in one another’s business, especially not relationships. However, the way Mingyu cried after what you did, you need to understand that none of us are your biggest fans right now,” Seungcheol spoke, and you could only look at the floor, unable to make eye contact out of embarrassment.

Seungcheol wasn’t one to get involved in his members’ love lives, but he knew Mingyu would sugarcoat everything for you, and he wasn’t going to let you think that the rest of Mingyu’s members were okay with you.

“If Mingyu chooses to forgive you, that’s his right and choice. We’ll support him, but I can speak on behalf of the other members. None of us are keen on you right now,” Seungcheol continued to elaborate.

Seungcheol’s words broke your heart; out of all the members, you had grown very close to him and Soonyoung. You knew Soonyoung would probably kill you if he saw you, but Seungcheol could be reasonable.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, and Seungcheol scoffed.

“Not the one you need to apologise to,” Seungcheol bit back, and Mingyu knew he had to say something now.

God knows you apologised enough times.

“Hyung, um, what did you get me?” Mingyu asked in an attempt to dissipate the tension. Seungcheol smiled as he faced Mingyu.

“I got you a birthday present,” Seungcheol replied, and Mingyu laughed.

“Seven months in advance?” Mingyu asked.

Seungcheol shrugged. “I forget birthdays, except mine, so yeah, it’s an all-expense paid weekend at a fancy hotel, you know, wine, room service, the whole nine yards.” Seungcheol took a breath.

“I got it before all this happened. It was something for you two,” Seungcheol added, his words piercing your heart again.

“Hyung, we can still use it. If not, I can just use it myself, starfish on the bed,” Mingyu interjected, which made Seungcheol smile.

“Anyways. That’s all I came for. I’ll see you in the evening,” Seungcheol said, and Mingyu nodded and saw Seungcheol out.

“Hyung, she’s trying,” Mingyu pleaded once he was outside his front door as he tried to reason with Seungcheol, who simply sighed.

“I don’t doubt it, but she cheated on you,” Seungcheol said.

“She won’t do it again,” Mingyu asserted.

“I hope she doesn’t,” Seungcheol added, smiling sadly at Mingyu, who smiled back.

“Hyung, I love her, and if I can’t make this work, then I’ll leave, but right now, I want to have faith,” Mingyu spoke genuinely, meaning every word.

“Fair enough. Look, just try and keep her away from the studios and dorms for now. I can keep my cool, and so can the others, but Soonyoung will definitely tear her a new one,” Seungcheol warned.

“Yeah. I will. Thank you for the present again,” Mingyu thanked Seungcheol.

“Take care, Gyu.”

“Um, I have rehearsals. I won’t be home until eight. Do you think you’ll be okay?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded.

“Yeah. I have a few meetings, and I have some work to do. Did you want to have dinner?” you asked, and Mingyu nodded slowly.

“I can give you a heads up if I am back in time?” Mingyu suggested, and you nodded, smiling sadly at him.

“They’ll come around, you know?” Mingyu added.

“It’s okay if they don’t. I mean, I wouldn’t blame them, ” you responded.

“They will. I mean. I’m trying,” Mingyu explained.

“Mingyu?”

“Yes?”

“How long will you keep trying for? I’m not asking you to dismiss the fact that you are already doing something that most people wouldn’t consider doing. I want to know because I don’t want to keep holding you down from finding the one.”

“You were the one at one point for me,” Mingyu started, and you felt your throat tighten with emotion.

“Maybe you still are. But to answer your question, I guess I will try until I no longer imagine you underneath another man. Last night when I kissed you, I felt like I was being burned. It hurts to physically love you right now, so if it comes to a point where one day I know I can’t look at you and not hate what you did, then yeah, we can move on,” Mingyu admitted.

“And if we can’t?” you asked, your voice small.

“Then we’re done,” Mingyu said, his tone calm and final.

“I need to go; I’ll message you if I am late,” Mingyu said, and you nodded at him.

“You’re late,” your boss remarked as you walked in, well, ran into the office.

“Sorry,” you said breathlessly. Your boss simply shrugged at you.

“Can I see you? In my office?” He asked before heading back to his office.

You nodded, followed your boss to his office, and waited for him to close the door behind you.

“Please don’t fire me. I can do better,” you begged, your voice cracking.

Your boss shook his head.

“Not here to fire you, but I’m worried,” he explained, and you nodded.

“Relationship problems?” Your boss suggested, and you nodded.

“Do you need to talk to anyone?” Your boss asked kindly, and you shook your head. “It’s my doing,” you explained, and your boss nodded, not pushing it any further.

“Well. I need you to manage this client. You have a natural knack for charming the shit out of fancy clients, so do it well, and we can secure a retainer, and you can secure a wonderful bonus,” your boss explained, and you smiled at him.

“Anything else?” you asked, and your boss shook his head, smiling.

“Thank you so much once again for the meeting. I know it’s late, but we appreciate the effort,” your clients thanked you at the end of the meeting, and you nodded, thanking your million-dollar clients.

You left once they left the conference room and fished out your phone.

“Fuck,” you cursed when you saw it was nine, and you had ten missed calls from Mingyu and several messages. You grabbed your things and tried to drive home as quickly and safely as possible.

“Mingyu, I’m so sorry. I got caught up in work,” you explained hurriedly the second you walked into the apartment, and Mingyu simply hummed.

“I got hungry. I ate without you,” Mingyu deadpanned.

“Y/N?” Mingyu asked, and you turned around to see Mingyu glaring at you.

“Yes?”  

“Where were you?” Mingyu asked as he walked closer to you.

“I was at work. I have a new client, and they wanted to go over so many things,” you explained.

“You sure? Or were you with someone?” Mingyu taunted, and you shook your head at him.

“Mingyu, no, I would never,” you said, and Mingyu scoffed.

“You have,” he bit back.

“Not again,” you said firmly. Mingyu sighed.

“You know, the entire time I was waiting for you. I couldn’t help but think about it. I was wondering if you found someone else. If you were ignoring my phone calls because someone else was making you feel so good that you forgot about me,” Mingyu said.

“I love you, and I know my actions have not matched that, but I would never do what I did again. Ever,” you explained again, and Mingyu sighed.

“I guess I just have to believe you, right?” Mingyu asked with a dark chuckle.

“If you want to go or leave me, then you can,” you offered, and Mingyu shook his head.

“I need to be able to trust you again,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“I was at work. I didn’t meet up with anyone,” you repeated.  

“As I said, I don’t have a choice but to believe you,” Mingyu mumbled, and you frowned.

“Look, how about you join me? We can watch Netflix, and you can eat your dinner. I’ll join you for ice cream?” Mingyu suggested, and you smiled, nodding at him.

You rushed up the stairs to take a shower and change into his shirt quickly. You often forgot they weren’t your clothes; you were so used to wearing them.

Once you were done with your shower, you headed downstairs, grabbed your food, and sat on the couch three spots away from Mingyu, making him smile.

“I won’t bite.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Mingyu nodded.

“Just sit next to me.” You smiled and scooted over next to him.

“So, these new clients, what do they do?” Mingyu asked, making you glare at him.

“Are you interrogating me?” You asked, and Mingyu sighed.

“No. I’m asking you because I’m your boyfriend. I want to know about your day. However, your reaction makes me wonder why you’re so defensive,” Mingyu explained, and you pouted, placing your food on the coffee table in front of you and turning to face him.

“I’m so sorry. I  broke your trust and your heart. I won’t do it again,” you apologised.

“Shouldn’t have ever happened,” Mingyu mumbled, and you stayed quiet, knowing you shouldn’t defend yourself.

“Y/N? Why? I know you said you were lonely, but why?” Mingyu asked.

You took a deep breath as you looked up at him, his eyes watery, and you hated that you were the cause of it.

“You remember when you were on tour, we got into this huge fight because you missed three FaceTime calls with me, and you fell asleep on the one you did remember,” you cringed as you recalled the incident.

Nothing you were going to say would make anything that you did okay.

“Right, yes, so you cheated on me because I was inattentive?” Mingyu asked, not a hint of anger in his words, just pure confusion.

“I mean, after that call, we got into a huge fight, and we didn’t even speak for another two days, and I just felt neglected,” you added.

“So one night, when I saw you giggling on a live later, I got annoyed, went to a bar after work, and well, yeah, you know the rest,” you trailed off.

“Do I know him?” Mingyu asked.

“No, I don’t even know him,” you mumbled.

“So you threw it all away for a perfect stranger?” Mingyu asked.

“Tell me. What did he do to you? What did you do to him?” Mingyu asked, and you shook your head.

“Mingyu, I don’t want to hurt you,” you tried to protest, making Mingyu scoff.

“You already have. Tell me,” Mingyu repeated, and you took a deep breath before responding.

“He went down on me, and he then fucked me,” you said quickly, like you were ripping off a band-aid.

“You didn’t go down on him?” He asked.

“No,” you said, your voice small, and Mingyu nodded.

“Did you at least use a condom?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded.

“Did you feel good? Just for that moment? Did you get what you wanted?” Mingyu asked.

“I guess I got the attention I wanted. However, no. I didn’t feel good about it; I hated myself for it,” you admitted.

“Look. I told you I want to work on us and move on from what happened, so I appreciate your honesty. However, you need to understand why I might be suspicious,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something, but I need liquor, wine?” Mingyu asked, and you smiled, nodding at him. Mingyu smiled at you as he got off the couch, headed into the kitchen, and returned a couple of minutes later with a bottle of red wine and two glasses.

“Here you go,” Mingyu said as he handed you a glass and sat down on the couch, this time sitting closer to you.  

“So Seungcheol hyung, he’s throwing a dinner thing next week,” Mingyu explained.

“I can make myself scarce,” you interrupted, and Mingyu smiled softly at you, shaking his head.

“No, he wants you there,” Mingyu said, taking a sip of his drink.

“Why?” you asked, unable to hide the shock in your voice, and Mingyu smiled softly at you,

“Because I want you there,” Mingyu responded, and you downed your glass of wine in response to his comment and placed the glass down before speaking.

“Mingyu, I don’t want to impose. Not in a room full of people who hate me,” you said, hating how weak you sounded when this was all your doing. Mingyu smiled softly at you before taking a sip of his drink.

“No one–okay, aside from Soonyoung–no one hates you,” Mingyu admitted.

“I know I have no right to be upset, not when I did this, but I feel so fucking stupid. I feel stupid for having the audacity to be upset when this is my doing,” you confessed, feeling pathetic for being upset. However, Mingyu smiled softly at you.

“Look. You have a week to decide if you don’t want to go. I won’t force you. However, it would be nice,” Mingyu offered.

“I’ll be there,” you said, your voice still soft, and Mingyu smiled at you.

“Good. Another glass?” Mingyu asked, motioning to your empty glass.

“Yes, please.”

You and Mingyu didn’t speak much, choosing to watch a Netflix series and just be near one another, trying and be normal.

“Mingyu?” You called out his name halfway through an episode, and Mingyu turned to smile at you,

“Yeah?” He responded, eyes still on the screen.

You hesitated for a second, “Can I, um. Never mind,” you mumbled, swallowed  your words, and Mingyu groaned, pausing the show.

“What?” He asked, looking at you.

“Can I get a bit of the blanket? I’m cold,” you asked, rubbing your palms together as if to prove a point, and Mingyu grinned, lifting the blanket off him and holding it up.

“Come on. You’ll freeze,” Mingyu said, motioning for you to join him under the blanket, and you froze in a different way.

“Y/N, I’m trying here, but you need to meet me halfway. I can grab another blanket for you, but I’d like to share one with my girlfriend,” Mingyu stated, making your heart swell as you nodded and crawled into and curled into his side.

“The new client, they’re designers, they deal with luxury goods, and they need someone to guide them through our consulting process and how we can be an asset to them,” you mumbled, and Mingyu smiled at you, happy to have a normal conversation with you.

“So, fancy rich people?” Mingyu joked, and you nodded.

“I’m aiming to secure a retainer agreement with them,” you explained, and Mingyu nodded,

“Well, make sure you rest in between, okay? Because you always overextend yourself, and I don’t want you burning out,” Mingyu spoke softly, and you smiled fondly at him.

“I won’t,” you promised, and Mingyu smiled, holding out his pinkie to you, “promise?” He asked, and you laughed and laced your finger with his.

“I promise,” you said, and Mingyu smiled, letting go of your hand, and pulled you closer to his side.

“Okay, now can we find out what happens in this episode?” Mingyu asked, and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Gyu, it’s Suits. Harvey Specter will do something that is not viable in reality and save the day,” you explained. The lawyer in you just could not refrain from describing how wrong Suits was.

“You called me Gyu,” Mingyu mumbled.

“Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to,” you apologised, and Mingyu paused the episode and turned to face you, his legs around you as you sat in the space between his legs.

“You know, all of the restraining, the formalities. I get why you’ve held back, but it’s been two months. I’m not mad at you for calling me Gyu. It made me happy. You’ve imposed all these restrictions on yourself, none of which I asked you to do. I’m not blaming or scolding you. I’m simply saying that I want you to be yourself—the funny, unfiltered, loving and frankly unrestrained woman that I fell in love with. I know you’ll say that you hurt me being that, but I just don’t want to dwell anymore,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“Gyu,” you repeated, and Mingyu smiled at you before frowning when he realised you were crying.

“Hey now, why are you crying,” Mingyu asked.

“You’re so fucking, patient. You’re so kind for what I did, and I hate that I’m the one falling apart,” you admitted, and Mingyu smiled at you, wiping a tear off your face.

“In some sick way, I appreciate it because I know you regret what you did. It’d be worse if you acted so normal. If you showed no remorse, then I’d be like fuck. I’m on my way, I guess.” Mingyu confessed, wiping your tears.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologised.

“I know. You’ve said it enough times. So I know you’re sorry, but as I said, I need time, but I don’t want to act or walk around eggshells with you because then one day that will end up blowing up in our faces,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“I don’t deserve you,” you mumbled, and Mingyu sighed and pulled you closer to him.

“You don’t, but I love you. So let me decide if I can do this?” Mingyu said, and you nodded, smiling softly as Mingyu wiped another tear off your face.

“Now, can I watch Harvey Specter save the day?” Mingyu asked, and you smiled at him as he pressed play.

Mingyu adjusted himself so you were lying on his chest as you watched the episode. Mingyu shifted slightly, making his leg brush against your underwear, making you bite your lip, an action that did not go unnoticed by Mingyu.

“What?” Mingyu asked, and you shook your head.

“Nothing,” you mumbled before fixing your eyes back on the screen.

Mingyu smirked, shifting his leg again, and you couldn’t help the soft moan that fell from your lips.

“You liked that?” Mingyu teased, and you sighed, nodding, making him smirk as you both continued to watch Suits.

However, he adjusted himself, and you were sitting between his legs, his large hands tracing small circles on your thigh.

Mingyu suddenly paused the show and asked you to turn around. You did as he asked, and he pulled you into his lap.

“Kiss me,” Mingyu whispered, his hands wrapping around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

You smiled as you touched his lips, groaning immediately when you tasted him for the first time in months. You were kissing him, not just a peck, but a kiss.

You felt him run his tongue along your bottom lip, and he slipped his tongue inside you. You moaned into his mouth and kept kissing him until he slowly pulled away from you.

You were about to apologise in case you went too far, but Mingyu pulled you in for another kiss. You moaned into the kiss as his bulge pressed into your cloth-covered cunt. Mingyu moved quickly and pulled his cock out.

“I need to feel you,” Mingyu muttered against your lips, and you moaned and nodded. Mingyu moved your panties to the side, ran his cock against your folds and pushed into you.

“Fuck,” you choked out, your hands gripping his hair for support.

“You’re so fucking tight. So fucking tight,” Mingyu groaned as he let his cock stretch you open. You moaned as Mingyu guided his cock in and out of you.

He laid back and let you fall on his chest before he picked his pace, thrusting into you relentlessly. The lack of sex between the two of you meant that you both came quickly. You simply continued to kiss him, scared to speak as if it’d ruin the moment.

You rested your head against Mingyu’s chest as you felt him soften inside you, his warmth coating your walls.

“Mingyu?” you asked softly, noticing that your boyfriend’s expression didn’t match yours.

“Did you kiss that guy?” Mingyu asked, and you sighed, climbing off his lap.

“Mingyu, don’t,” you begged, making him scoff at you.

“I did. I’m so sorry,” you apologised, and Mingyu sighed, standing up and pulling his trousers up.

“This was way too quick. I know I initiated it, so I’m not mad at you, but right now, I can’t look at you,” Mingyu admitted, taking a deep breath before delivering the words that made you despise yourself further.

“The entire time I was inside you, all I could think about was the fact that you probably moaned the same way for that other guy. Looking just as fucked out, and that’s not an image I can get over so easily,” Mingyu continued.  

“I’m going to bed,” Mingyu said, not sparing you a glance and heading upstairs.

You decided to stay downstairs the entire night. It would do neither of you any good to be near one another now. You felt terrible. You should have stopped him, but you missed his touch.

You hated how you had become a slave to your instincts.

“Hey. Oh, you’re leaving?” Mingyu asked as he saw you sliding your heels on the following day.

“Yeah. Fancy clients, they call, I answer,” you replied.

“Like that guy in the bar? He snapped, and your face fell.

“Mingyu, I can do this with you after work. You can yell, scream and insult me as much as you need. Just not before work.” Mingyu’s glare intensified.

“Do you think I do it because I enjoy hurting you?” Mingyu asked, and you shook your head at him.

“Mingyu, I need to go,” you said, reaching for the doorknob, and Mingyu scoffed at you.

“Do you have anything you want to say?” Mingyu asked, and you sighed at him.

“I do. But I do not have the time for it now,” you explained, and Mingyu nodded.

“Just think about this as you go to work. Why do you have time for everyone except for me?” Mingyu said before storming upstairs.

“Y/N, well done. The clients are impressed with you, and I think we are getting closer to signing them,” Your boss praised after the meeting.

“Thanks,” you said with no real emotion, and your boss eyed you.

“Okay, what the hell? You should be happy?” your boss asked.

“My personal life is falling apart,” you admitted.

“Well, look. It’s already three. Why don’t you head home? You killed it today so that you can take the afternoon off,” your boss offered, and you thanked him profusely.

“Mingyu, I’m home. Oh,” you called out the second you entered the apartment and froze when you saw some of Mingyu’s members sitting in your living room. You got mixed reactions from all of them.

Seungcheol offered you a weak smile, Wonwoo nodded, Jun blinked a couple of times, and Jihoon looked your way to acknowledge your presence. You were thankful that the older members were discreet.

The same could not be said for the younger members.

“What are you doing here?” Chan asked, earning him a slight nudge from Jun for being disrespectful to someone older than him.

“I live here,” you muttered, and that was all it took for Soonyoung to snap.

“Right, because it’s your house, right?” Soonyoung fired back, knowing well that the building was in Mingyu’s name and not yours.

“I, um,” you stuttered, unsure of how to handle Soonyoung’s words.

“Y/N, why don’t you go to the bedroom? I’ll be done soon?” Mingyu interjected he couldn’t handle another fight with you, and he didn’t fancy seeing Soonyoung rip you to shreds, either. You gave Mingyu a forced smile and headed to his bedroom.

“Hey,” Mingyu said as he sat next to you on the bed.

“They’re uh gone. It’s safe for you to come out,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“Does it bother you?” You asked.

“What bothers me?”

“The wealth gap between us,” you elaborated.

“You’re acting like you’re impoverished,” Mingyu scoffed, and he wasn’t wrong. You could live a very comfortable life without Mingyu’s wealth, but sometimes seeds of insecurity would get planted in your mind, and you’d wonder if you were enough.

“You know, if you dated an idol, she’d make as much money as you,” you said bitterly.

“I don’t say this to be a dick, but no. She wouldn’t. Frankly, what we make is very high. I’m grateful, but unless I’m dating another multimillionaire, then I’d still be earning more in a relationship,” Mingyu explained.

“She’d understand your life,” you offered, and Mingyu frowned.

“She’d understand that there would be lonely nights, weeks and months. She would get it, and she wouldn’t go looking for more when she had enough,” you admitted, feeling ashamed, feeling your voice crack.

“Is that why?” Mingyu asked.

“Why what?”

“Why you cheated,” Mingyu clarified.

“Oh god no, Mingyu, I wish I had a reason why, I don’t. It was dumb, it was stupid, and it’s something I’ll hate myself for doing to you. Nothing I did that night can justify why I did what I did. There’s nothing except a dumb fucking decision,” you rambled, not realising that you were crying until you realised that Mingyu inched closer to you, holding your face in his hands and wiping your tears.

“Don’t hate yourself. I don’t,” Mingyu said quietly.

“Why not?”

“I hate what you did, but to hate you? Fuck, that’s something I don’t think I can do,” Mingyu admitted.

“Soonyoung hyung was way out of line,” Mingyu added, understanding what your spiral was about, and you shook your head and gently moved his hands away from your face.

“No. He wasn’t. He’s protecting you,” you countered, and Mingyu shrugged, not wanting to argue with you.

“It wasn’t just Soonyoung hyung. I was out of line, too. I said some shitty things to you this morning and last night. Having sex with you again, trust me, for the most part, it was good, but the minute you started to moan and get close to cumming. I couldn’t help but think of you doing the same thing for another man,” Mingyu confessed.

“But I shouldn’t have lashed out like that. I should have stopped Soonyoung hyung today,” Mingyu mumbled as you stayed quiet.

“Say something, please?” Mingyu asked.

“You had every right to act the way you did, and Soonyoung wasn’t wrong in expressing his anger,” you said calmly, and Mingyu pouted at you.

“Okay, let’s change the topic. Why did you come back early?” Mingyu asked.

“The meeting went well, and I guess my boss saw me miserable, so he let me come back early,” you admitted with a soft smile.

“Lovely, then I’m ordering food, and we can spend the day together,” Mingyu said, clapping his hands, and you traced circles on his hand.

“Gyu?” You said, making him smile.

“Yes?” He asked. You held out your arms to him, and he smiled, pulling you into his lap for a hug. You held on tightly. It was so fragile, and you were so scared to let go. You pulled away slowly, your lips inches away from his.

“Kiss me,” Mingyu whispered, his lips ghosting yours. You smiled and placed your lips on his. The kiss escalated quickly, as it always did. From being in Mingyu’s lap, you were now lying under him as he kept kissing you. His tongue was deepening the kiss. His hand moved up your body until it landed on the button of your trousers.

“Can I?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded, and that’s all Mingyu needed.

Mingyu undid the button and pushed his hand down your trousers and past your panties. His fingers found your clit, and he started to rub. You moaned into the kiss. Whimpers and pants were leaving your lips as he rubbed your clit.

When he suddenly stopped, you were so scared that the events of last night would occur again. Instead, Mingyu moved away from the kiss, pulled your trousers and panties off, and laid between your legs.

Mingyu moved to let his mouth wrap around your clit, making you buck into his mouth. You wanted to scream his name but were so scared that you’d break this moment if you spoke. Not just for the sake of an incredible orgasm but because you felt as if things between you two could finally be okay.

A sharp slap to your clit took you out of your thoughts.

“Why aren’t you making any noise? Have I lost my touch?” Mingyu growled, and you shook your head.

“No, it’s just, fuck,” you could barely finish your sentence as Mingyu pushed three fingers into you.

You winced slightly at the stretch, slowly letting out a moan as his lips found your clit again. Mingyu licked and flicked your clit while thrusting his fingers in and out of you.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum,” you choked out as you grabbed the sheets. You came and felt Mingyu lick you more. His hands held your shaking legs in place as he licked you through your orgasm.

“Good?” Mingyu asked, moving up your body, capturing your lips with his.

“Yes,” you moaned into the kiss as Mingyu smiled into the kiss.

“Can I?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded, knowing what he wanted, as he pulled his shirt off and threw his shorts across the room as he lined his thick length against your cunt and pushed in.

“Fuck,” Mingyu groaned as he started to thrust into you.

“Baby, you’re so tight, and it’s been so long. I won’t last,” Mingyu groaned as he played with your clit.

“Cum, Mingyu,” you encouraged as Mingyu started to pound into you harder, making you squeal in pleasure as you came around him. Mingyu groaned as his orgasm followed soon after yours.

Mingyu pulled you in for another kiss before moving his lips away and pulling out of you.

“No, don’t just stay with me,” Mingyu said, pulling you back into his arms.

“Gyu?” He hummed.

“I love you,” you said, and Mingyu sighed, placing a kiss on your forehead. It stung when he didn’t say it back, but you couldn’t take it.

You’d do anything to make it right.

“Do I look okay?” You asked later that week as you stepped out of the bathroom wearing a simple black dress. Mingyu smiled at you.

“They’ll love you no matter what,” Mingyu offered casually, and you froze.

“I mean. Uh,” Mingyu fumbled, and you gave him a small smile at walked over to him.

“I know.” Mingyu sighed, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“You look lovely, and you know I’ll always think that, but please don’t go in expecting too much tonight,” Mingyu offered.

“I know,” you said with a sad smile, and Mingyu pouted slightly. He almost hated that he felt terrible for you, especially since you brought this upon yourself.

“Let’s go?” Mingyu asked.

The entire car ride to the dorm was quiet. You were both too nervous.

“Hey, look, they might be vicious. It’s just that they care for me, so they’ll get defensive,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“Yeah. I’ll be brave,” you said, grinning.

Mingyu nodded at your comment. He knew you deserved their anger and resentment, but it didn’t mean that it made it easier for him to hear it. Mingyu hated watching you sink with every insult or backhanded comment that was thrown your way.

Mingyu knocked on the door while you prayed that one of the older members would open the door.

“Y/N, Mingyu, glad you two could make it,” Seungcheol said, smiling at Mingyu and nodding in your direction.

“Come in. There are drinks and appetisers being served now,” Mingyu nodded, guiding you into their dorm.

“Go sit, look Wonwoo hyung won’t bite. I’ll be there in a minute.” You tried to plead with him, but you knew that you had lost any upper hand you may have once had.

“May I sit?” You asked Wonwoo, who simply nodded. You sat down cautiously.

“Can I get you a drink?” Wonwoo asked.

“Careful, hyung. Alcohol is the reason she’s in this predicament,” Soonyoung muttered, and Wonwoo shot him a glare. While Wonwoo was beyond upset with you, he didn’t approve of Soonyoung’s behaviour either.

“Okay, I’m here. What did I miss?” Mingyu asked, sliding next to you.

“Nothing, Gyu,” you mumbled, curling into his side, and Mingyu simply stared at his hyungs, hoping one of them would tell him what transpired.

“Alright, let me get you a drink, gin and tonic, right?” Mingyu asked as he stood up and headed back into the kitchen before you could stop him.

“Alright, here you go,” Mingyu returned, thankfully, quickly as he handed you your drink.

“Oh, Mingyu, are you excited about your project? You’ll be co-writing with Yuri for her solo?” Jun asked in an attempt to ease the tension in the room.

“Actually, yeah. She texted me about the song. I think it’ll be really cool. I’m meeting her at her studio next week,” Mingyu responded, and you loved seeing how lively he looked when he spoke about his work.

“What’s the song about?” You asked, and you saw Mingyu freeze for a second.

“Heartbreak and betrayal,” Mingyu mumbled, and you simply took another sip of your drink.

“I mean, we should really thank you, Y/N. You gave Mingyu such amazing inspiration,” Soonyoung remarked sarcastically, and you cringed.

“Y/N, I left my planner in my room last week. Do you think you could get it?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded quickly, running away from the living room and upstairs to Mingyu’s bedroom, trying your hardest not to break down on your way.

You knew there was no planner, but you were grateful to Mingyu for giving you a reason to leave.

Back in the living room, Mingyu was trying his hardest to reason with Soonyoung.

“Hyung, I’m trying to fix things with her, but it won't work if you keep saying things like that. She’s sorry,” Mingyu pleaded, and Soonyoung scoffed.

“Cheaters don’t change, and to her credit, I can see she’s sorry, but you don’t deserve that, and I don’t know why you’re putting up with it. You could have anyone else, and you're choosing the one who broke your heart.”

“Hey.”

You heard a voice call, turned around to see Chan, and quickly wiped your face.

“Shit, you’re crying,” Chan muttered, closing the door behind him.

“No, uh, just allergies.” Chan laughed.

“Yeah, right,” Chan scoffed, and you sighed.

“Why are you here?” You asked, and Chan shrugged.

“Well, hyung sent me, and Soonyoung hyung is having a talk with Mingyu hyung. So you’ve got me,” Chan explained.  

“Can I ask you something?”

“Why? I mean, did he ever upset you or ignore you? Is there something we don’t know?” Chan asked.

“I was lonely. It’s not an excuse at all. We were fighting so much. I just wanted something to numb the pain.” Chan nodded.

“Alcohol would have been a better solution, literally. It’s a solution,” Chan joked as you let out a tearful chuckle.

“Yay, you smiled,” Chan cheered.

“Don’t you hate me?” You asked, and Chan shook his head.

“No. I’ll always be upset, but hyung isn’t a baby. He doesn’t need me to coddle him or fight for him. I’m not mean, but sometimes I can lash out, and even I can say that Soonyoung hyung took it too far. You’ve always made hyung happy, and if being with you makes him happy and he forgives you, then I think we should all make peace with it.” Chan offered.

“Chan, I need to talk to her,” a voice interrupted as you saw Mingyu enter the room.

“Sure,” Chan said, waving at you as he left the room.

“He forgave you?” Mingyu asked.

“No, but he said if I make you happy, then he’ll make his peace with it,” you explained.

“Fuck, well, this doesn’t make what I’m about to do next any easier,” Mingyu mumbled, and you knew. It was over. He tried and couldn’t, and you didn’t blame him.

“I’ll pack my things by the end of the day tomorrow,”  you said as you tried to get up, and Mingyu held your wrist gently.

“No, you keep that apartment. I want to have a fresh start. Most of my things are here anyway,” Mingyu countered.

“I can’t forgive you,” Mingyu admitted, and you simply nodded, eyes trained on the carpeted floor.

“Mingyu?” You whispered his name, and he looked at you.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologised.

“I can drive you back,” Mingyu offered, and you shook your head.

“No, I’ll take a cab,” you mumbled. Mingyu nodded and turned around.

“Then leave. I can’t pretend anymore,” Mingyu breathed out, and you could hear how shaky his voice was.

You placed your hand on his shoulder, squeezing it and left.

“Thank you for everything,” you said tearfully as you practically ran out of his bedroom and out of the dorms.

“Y/N!” Soonyoung ran after you, his hand on your wrist. The rest of the boys were confused for two reasons, one being that you left without Mingyu and the second that Soonyoung was the one that ran after you.

You were standing outside the dorm as Soonyoung held you in place.

“What the hell happened? Where are you going?” He asked.

“Home. Mingyu broke up with me, so I’m going home,” you admitted, and Soonyoung frowned.

“Did my comments do this?” Soonyoung asked, and you shook your head.

“No, we were bound to end. I should go,” you said sadly. Soonyoung sighed.

“I’m sorry it turned out this way,” Soonyoung apologised.

“Goodbye,” you said to Soonyoung.

That night when you got home, you couldn’t cry. You just felt numb. You felt nothing. You felt dead inside.

For the next week, you called off work, thankfully your clients had gone on a holiday and wouldn’t be back for two weeks. You took a week off. It wasn’t a lot, but it would be enough for you to start over.

You did every cliché there was. You went for a facial, went for a spa day. You drank and watched crappy movies with ice cream. Drank until you fell asleep. Every night you went to bed alone and hoped for a text from him.

You just needed to know that he was okay. You knew he felt every emotion deeply, and you didn’t want your stupidity to hurt him anymore.

One night after downing half a bottle of wine, you found it in you to dial his number. You sighed in relief when you realised he hadn’t blocked you.

“Y/N, it’s three in the morning?” Mingyu groaned, and that’s when you broke all the tears that never fell.

They all fell the minute you heard his voice.

“Y/N?” Mingyu said, more awake and concerned about your heavy breathing.

“Are you okay?” You mumbled, your voice breaking with every word.

“Y/N, fuck. Are you at home? Are you okay?” You sighed.

“Yeah. I just, I’m sorry, Mingyu.” Mingyu sighed before hanging up.

“Jesus, fuck,” you yelped when you saw Mingyu sitting in your kitchen the following day. You looked around the house.

“You cleaned up?” You asked, and Mingyu nodded.

“Most people change the locks when their ex moves out,” Mingyu joked, and you frowned.

“The house is under your name,” you said, giving a lame excuse, and Mingyu sighed.

“Am I okay? You called me yesterday to ask me that?” Mingyu asked, and you groaned. “Do you even care? You walked away,” Mingyu continued, raising his voice at you, and you just stared at him.

“You broke up with me,” you said, confused, and Mingyu nodded.

“I fought for us when you cheated, and you didn’t even fucking try,” Mingyu cried out.

“Gyu,” you started to say. Mingyu glared at you.

“Don’t Gyu me, I’m not yours,” Mingyu snapped, and you nodded.

“I saw the way you tried so hard to love me again. It broke you, and I want you to be happy, so I didn’t fight because you deserve better,” you yelled back, and Mingyu scoffed.

“You remember how I told you I’d be working on a song with Yuri?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded slowly, unsure why he randomly brought it up.

“We were in the studio, I think this was two nights after we broke up, and I think right before we wrapped up our session, she kissed me,” Mingyu explained.

“Oh.”

“I kissed her back,” Mingyu clarified.

“Okay.”

“But I couldn’t do it. Her lips, the kiss it all felt foreign to me. It wasn’t what I’m used to, and more importantly. It’s not what I want,” Mingyu added.

“She kissed you?” You repeated, feeling tears threaten to spill over.

“While you’re entitled to your feelings. I really hope you realise that getting mad at me for this will be beyond hypocritical,” Mingyu stated.

“I’m not. Just wow, she fits into your world. Better than I ever could,” you said weakly, and Mingyu scoffed as he stood up, moving closer to you,

“No. You can feel shitty for cheating on me, but I will not ever let you think you don’t belong in this world,” Mingyu said, and you pouted.

“I hurt you,” you choked out, your voice breaking.

“Yeah, and it fucking sucked. It still does, but one week. One week was enough to make me realise I don’t want to be without you. So we’re going to get through this,” Mingyu declared, determined, and you started to sob, and Mingyu took you into his arms, holding you tight.

“We’re going to hit reset. We will go on a first date again, and I will learn to trust you again. Clean slate,” Mingyu said, holding you close.

You nodded. Chances like these rarely come by, so you weren’t going to waste them.

“Oh and also, no more apologising. I’m not trying to rewrite history, but if you keep apologising, I won’t ever get past it. So let’s just start over, okay?” Mingyu explained, and you nodded tearfully.

“Reset?” You asked.

“Reset.”

“We’ll do this the right way,” Mingyu said, and you shook your head.

“No. I will. I’ll love you the way I should have,” you said, making him grin at you as you hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go.

You’d be damned if you lost him again.

[the-magpie-archives]

Several times recently I've found myself making tea whilst listening to The Magnus Archives, and as a result I've developed a silly little headcanon...

I'm not sure if it's a nationwide thing, but certainly throughout my life I've experienced the weird stigma of having sugar in your tea. It's not direct or aggressive, but there always seems to be this vague notion that sweetening your tea makes you less strong, less manly. I rarely see men ask for sugar, and often observe an obvious proudness in teenage boys when they say "no sugar, thanks."

Picture Jonathan Sims, newly appointed archivist, worried he's not good enough, placed haphazardly in power of people who were very recently peers, and desperately trying to prove he's the right man for the job. Everything seems to be falling apart a bit, and he's not at all sure his assistants have any faith in him; he had to ask for a tape recorder because he couldn't get his laptop to work properly - that's embarrassing.

Now imagine Martin: office sweetheart, gets along with pretty much anyone, just moved to a new position working with two close friends, and the attractive guy from research is his boss (he's a bit rude and stuck up, but it's probably just the stress, right?). He's pretty comfortable! Aside from the occasional snide remark from Jon it is a good job, which is especially pleasing considering how he got to work at the institute in the first place.

Two opposing forces, as we all well know! But what's better at building bridges than a nice cup of tea? Martin makes a lot of tea, but I like to think he memorises how everyone takes theirs. Regardless, he has to ask at least once.

And so, kind, sweet, gentle Martin, his offer of a cup of tea promptly accepted, would have the misfortune of saying, "do you take that with sugar?" to an embarrassed, flustered Jon, who's trying desperately not to confront any romantic feelings he might have hidden away. The ensuing scoff and slightly too enthusiastic 'No! Thank you.' would be enough to remember that preference for a while.

As times go on, hundreds of cups of tea later, things get less tense between the pair, and Martin never has to revisit the question; but late one night, shortly before Jon is to leave for Great Yarmouth and Martin is to risk it all to take down Elias, Jon places a hand gently on Martin's shoulder and asks "Could I have a cup of tea?". Of course Martin says yes, it's the least he could do, but as he turns to go and make it, Jon calls out again. "With sugar, please."

Just a tiny vulnerability, but enough. By that point most of Jon's facade has been torn roughly away many times, but letting go of small points of pride often means more than non-deliberate actions. Having enough bravery to admit to liking something soft and sweet is harder than you'd think.

Maybe during those six months after, Martin would watch the sugar dissolve into his own tea with a painful melancholy, the sweetness a bitter memory.

[giffenprep]

Engaged

"Don't be silly, sweetie. We're going to be married in a few months and then we'll be living together. You have all kinds of habits I need to get you out of and there will be even more after the wedding.

"So I can't very well stop spanking you or holding your balls when we have a talk. In fact, I need to get my very own hairbrush before one of our moms notices it theirs missing sometime. It needs to be my 'go to' option instead of just for 'special occasions'.

"And then there's the wedding! Hopefully I won't turn into some sort of monster or one of those 'Bridezillas' like some girls but I do want to be sure of us having the wedding that will make us happiest! I think we both know that won't happen without at least a couple of 'negotiations' over my lap! Let's just hope they don't have to be too long and drawn-out or needing to revisit the same 'issues' over and over - and over!

"I'm sure once we're in the house and settled in and you've 'gotten used to' my way of doing things, and liking things, you won't be getting spanked anywhere near as much!"

[ohbo-ohno]

Revisiting a distant memory but its ex lovers with Price. Maybe some yearning? And incorporating "for the old times sake"? Thanks and happy writing!

1k game here - no more please!

GOD this one is hard!! i lovelovelovelove second chance romances (it's my favorite romance trope lol) but i really have absolutely no idea if i'm any good at writing them :')

2k of price x reader ft. reader mourning her marriage at a friend's wedding and price trying to be a good future ex-ex-husband. (btw this is laswell's wedding so we're all pretending that she says "girlfriend" instead of "wife" in game to make this work) no smut!

It's difficult not to drown your glass of wine in one long swallow, the déjà vu an almost overwhelming feeling.

You know it's not fair to Kate, but God did she have to have her wedding in the same venue as yours? Everywhere you look you're reminded of the best day of your life, and the subsequent worst months.

You take a deep breath, and try to shove all thoughts of the past out of your head.

It isn't easy these days. Even though you were the one to ask for the divorce, you've never stopped loving - stopped wanting - John. You feel the loss of him everyday, just like you had the endless weeks and months he spent deployed.

It wasn't the time away that did you in - it was the secrecy of it all. You maintain that you could've made the relationship work had you at least known where he was, or even been afforded texting rights. But it's hard to pretend you're living a normal life when you haven't heard from your husband in six weeks and you have no idea whether he's even alive.

The day Kyle came to the door instead of John, you knew you couldn't stay married to him.

He was lucky - John had been injured and sent Kyle to bring you to the hospital since he was already back on base, but you'd seen the man and broken down into sobs before he'd even managed to get a word out. The poor soldier had tried his best to tell you that your husband was alive and would be fine, but you were inconsolable.

Once you'd realized what was going on you realized the truth of your situation. John's death would break you, and you'd never recover from it.

That moment where you'd thought he was gone... it was like a part of you had died, like grief had swallowed you whole and refused to let go.

You were scared when Gaz finally explained to you what was really going on. And all at once, all the pieces of your life started to click together.

When you served John with divorce papers you told him that you couldn't handle so much time apart anymore, that you wanted more stability in your life than he could give you. But the truth is you were scared, and a growing part of you thought that maybe if you distanced yourself before he got himself killed, the inevitable grief would be easier to swallow.

You think he saw through your bravado and straight to your fear. You've never known John Price to be anything but a fighter, but he hardly hesitated when you gave him the papers with shaking hands. He raised an eyebrow, said are you sure this what you want, love? and hugged you after he signed.

You'd cried more than he had, had sobbed into his chest and clung to him to hold you together. Looking back you're embarrassed of your reaction, but at the time it truly felt like you were cutting off half of your soul.

It still feels like that most days. Sometimes you lie awake at night, haunted by the idea that you've only caused yourself more grief, that you're going to feel hurt and terrible until something or someone kills John, and then you'll have to experience that grief you fear anyways.

But you've made your bed, and now you're laying in it, cold and lonely and missing your husband.

You take a deep breath and a small sip of your wine, try to center yourself. It's difficult not to dwell on your own mistakes - perceived or real - but you're determined not to cry at Kate's wedding. You are not going to be that divorced woman. You simply refuse.

Still, it's a close call. You close your eyes and drain the glass before your fingers stop shaking, and you hate that you've got nothing to do with your hands, nothing to distract yourself with. The deep breaths don't help, and the idea of getting a bit wine-drunk looks more and more appealing.

When you open your eyes again, John stands in front of you, holding a fresh glass out in offering.

He looks good, but you already knew that. It was difficult to look anywhere but him during the service, and he caught you enough times for it to become almost humiliating. You've been telling yourself all night that you could pass the flush in your cheeks off as the heat of an outdoor ceremony, but you know he noticed.

Still, he doesn't look smug about your obvious discomfort. Silver lingings, and all.

You take the offered glass after just a moment, deciding that it might be better to bite the bullet and invite John back into your space rather than keep trying to avoid him all night. It's not like your divorce is a secret - every person in this room saw you two attend countless events together, the tension between you two is probably painfully obvious.

John steps to your side as you take a small sip, heart skipping a beat at the taste of your favorite wine.

"Where did you get this?" It's not what they're serving, or you'd probably already be well on your way to wine drunk.

He smiles softly at you, dimples covered by his beard. "I can't give away all my tricks. Then what would you keep me around for?"

You laugh a little sadly at that, and his smile grows.

Honestly, you've missed John enough that you don't even really mind if he keeps your wine hostage for the rest of the night. You're willing to keep up the facade if he is.

You take another sip and stand a bit straighter, try to prepare yourself for another conversation with your ex-husband. None of them have been easy, but it gets less and less painful to see him every time. You know he goes out of his way to make this easier on you, never once showing any hint of animosity. Besides the lack of PDA, he's hardly changed his behavior from when you were actually married.

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

He shoots you a look, one that says he remembers exactly how much you always hated small talk, but he indulges you. "It's a beautiful ceremony."

"It is."

He cocks an eyebrow. "But...?"

You sigh, gesturing with your glass as the wine loosens your tongue just enough for you to be a little too honest with your ex-husband. "It's all a little too familiar, isn't it? I mean, I haven't been back here since our... well, you know."

He snorts. "Yes, I do remember our wedding day."

You flush, elbowing him playfully. "Don't tease."

His smile is familiar, everything you've missed from him, when he looks down at you. "Can't help it, love." He lifts a hand, one big palm cupping your cheek and running a thumb over the apple of it. "You're just too pretty when you blush."

You can't help but close your eyes, leaning into his rough palm a bit. God, you miss him so much. Having him here, feeling his touch, and knowing that you'll go home tonight to an empty bed...

It's almost too much. The tears come entirely against your will.

"Oh, sweetheart," he coos, other hand cupping your cheek and thumbing away your tears. You blink up at him, free hand wrapping loosely around his wrist.

His eyes bore deeply into yours, and you see everything you feel reflected there. The memories, the pain, the yearning, the love that just refuses to dissipate.

"John," you whisper, voice shaky.

His head dips forward just enough to rest your foreheads together, breaths mingling. Despite the music still playing and the sound of conversations all around you, you can't help but feel like the world begins and ends with the man in front of you.

That's always what John has been for you - everything. Even now, months after your separation, you haven't figured out how to live in a world that isn't defined by John Price. You're not sure you really want to.

"Oh, love," he sighs, grip just firm enough to make you feel held. "When are you coming home?"

You bite your lip to hold back a sob, face crumpling. John coos a little, pressing forward just enough to kiss the tip of your nose and using his thumb to coax your lip from between your teeth.

"It's alright," he soothes, rubbing soft circles into the indention your teeth left in your lipstick. "We don't have to talk about it now, alright? You can take all the time you need. I'm a patient man."

You nod a little, taking in another deep breath. His patience was always something you'd admired, considering your own patience is horribly short. You can't stand to wait, and despite the many times he'd try to help you see the beauty in delay (both in and out of the bedroom), you'd only become frustrated.

Like now. Here John stands, poised and put together and nowhere near tears, and you're the exact opposite. It would be embarrassing if it wasn't one of the main reasons you fell for him in the first place - he's always balanced you out where you need it most.

You take another gulp of your wine, the glass half gone already. John chuckles a little as he stands up, hands shifting to rest on your upper arms and giving you a comforting squeeze. "Might have to get you another glass sooner than I expected."

You consider him for a moment, thoughts slow but a bit erratic, and then drain the rest of the glass in one go.

His eyes widen a bit as you nearly slam the glass onto a table, looking up at him with determination.

"No more wine - for now - but how about a dance?"

You wouldn't be asking if you hadn't had three glasses of wine already. But you have, and you're just inebriated enough to say screw it. As long as you don't wake up next to John tomorrow, nothing you do at the reception can really hurt your progress in getting over him too much.

But God when he smiles at you like that, soft and loving and just sweet, you want to forget completely about the divorce and go back to the life you'd had.

Stress and fear and separation pains regardless, you want John Price with every bone in your body. But you can't help that your mind convinces you otherwise, whispers all the reasons being with him can only lead to pain.

He shakes you out of your musings by offering a hand, stepping away just enough to make you reach for him.

"For old time's sake?" He asks when you take his hand, letting him pull you onto the dance floor with the other couples happily dancing together.

You nearly giggle at the poor excuse, knowing you can both see right through it. Still, you agree with him.

"For old time's sake."

You both know it's a lie, know that there's something more to a slow dance at a wedding, but you're not ready to say it yet. For now you'll hide behind the mask of nostalgia for better days.

Someday you'll be able to move forward. But that's a mission for post-wedding you to figure out, a plan for future-you to construct. Wedding-you, almost-wine-drunk-you is more than happy to let your ex-husband tug you close and trail his hands almost inappropriately low on your waist.

You tell yourself that you can worry about John's words, about his tone and his touchiness, in the morning.

For now, you bask in the presence of the love of your life, and try not to think about how much it will hurt when you leave him all over again at the end of the night.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Human Sayings Jake Sully Tries to Bring to the Na’vi Accidentally (imagine these all in Na’vi all janky as fuck):

-Jake, during a war council meeting: you win some you loose some. 

Tarsem, nodding sagely: This is very wise, Jake Suli. 

-Jake: Lo’ak will be back before eclipse, Eywa willing if the creek don’t rise. 

Neytiri: tHE CREEK IS RISING?

Jake: Wait, no--

-Jake, before Lo’ak’s iknimaya: break a leg!

Lo’ak, tearing up: wHaT?!?

Jake: wait--

-This man is constantly knocking on wood. There’s so much wood available, he lives in a tree for God’s sake. He’s like “the hunt will be blessed today, knock on wood,” or “I think it might rain later, knock on wood,” and all the Omaticaya are so confused. 

-He called Neytiri’s medicine bag a fanny pack one time. 

-During a war council meeting: Alright, let’s table this. Revisit after dinner. 

Tonowari: You want us to attack the human fleet with tables??

Jake: Ugh, no, sorry. 

-Told Neteyam not to be “such a wet blanket” one time when he told Lo’ak not to jump down to Jake from a really high waterfall when they were little. Definitely broke his nose when Lo’ak misjudged the jump and landed on him. Definitely also got in trouble with Neytiri when the kids won’t stop calling each other wet blankets for at least a month. The wetness of the blankets ratchets up based on how mad the person is. Kiri once told Lo’ak he was a sopping blanket when he stepped on Spider’s foot. 

-Told Neytiri Neteyam tripped over a branch by saying he “ate it” once and she was horrified, mostly because why would an eight year old be dumb enough eat a branch. 

-Told Mo’at he was “feeling under the weather” once when she asked how he felt. She did not question it at all, deciding if he really wanted her to know he’d tell her in real words.

-Told Ronal he and Tonowari were going to “shoot the breeze.” Ronal was disgusted with this waste of time and resources. 

[mjoffic]

red velvet cake - bf!eddie munson x fem!reader x brother!steve harrington

Summary: Your relationship continues to blossom with Eddie, however your older brother Steve isn’t the biggest fan and lines are tested

Warnings: swearing, smoking, tense situations, angst, fight fight fight, let me know if I miss anything!

Word count: 5.3k

a/n: Hey, all! Welcome to my first official post! If you enjoy, please like, reblog, etc! This was just a lil blurb, but I have other things in the works, so I’m hoping this goes well and I can continue to share with you all!

               “I need you and your big hair to calm down.”

           Your brother looked to you quickly from the bathroom mirror, his face scrunched up at your comment.  “My hair is not big.”

           “You say that and yet you’ve gone through your second can of hair spray this month,” you retorted, grabbing the can quickly in your hand.

           Steve snatched for it but you held it behind you, ceasing any attempt of him grabbing it.  He sighed with a comb still lodged in his brown tuffs and leaned back against the counter.  Another disagreement between the two of you.  Nothing was new seeing as that was the typical way a brother and sister relationship stemmed.  From the time you were born, only a short year after Steve, you were at each other’s throats constantly and could never come to an agreement on anything.  Steve would steal your favorite toy that day from the toybox, so you’d steal the TV remote and sit on it to his disdain when your parents allowed you both to pick the nightly movie after dinner.  You’d spread gossip in the middle school of your older brothers crush on Tammy Thompson (before the singing career), and somehow most girls still believed in cooties, so he’d steal your clothes from your locker before gym class was over.  Today’s topic of conversation once again revisited your current dating life and now you were stealing his most prized possession.  This was the never ending, vicious, and annoying cycle only those who had a sibling could understand at the end of the day.

           “I really don’t see what the big deal is,” you said, crossing your arms.  “Eddie and I have been seeing each other for almost a year now and you still refuse to hang out with him.”

           “Yeah, it’s Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson.  He runs that club Dustin and Mike are in, huge nerd, and he’s in a band that plays at the Hideout” he grumbled.  “Also, he’s way older than you.”

           “He’s twenty, Steve.  It’s not like I’m a kid anymore,” you replied.  “Also, he’s a senior.  I’m a senior.  And Hellfire is actually really cool if you’d take up the invites I’ve extended.”

           Steve shook his head, wagging his finger.  “No, no, you’re a senior.  This is his third time being a senior.”

           “And he’s gonna graduate!  He finally has a C in Mrs. O’Donnell’s!”

           “It’s still weird.  And just because you date him doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

           A groan escaped you and your arms dropped from their defensive position.  “But the least you could do is be civil with him.  I can’t bring him over because you make everything so uncomfortable, and now with Nancy’s party coming I’d just like the two of you to get along for once!”

           Steve looked to you after your minor outburst and his eyes traveled your face.  He couldn’t help but be a little annoyed by you but he hated that in a sense, you were right.  He’d only based his opinions on Eddie off of what he knew from when he went to Hawkins High and what he heard around town.  You’d always dealt with his on and off again flings that never worked out and continued to accept each one as they came through the door so why couldn’t he do the same for you?  It might be the older sibling in him screaming at him to watch out for his baby sister but you were getting older and dating was just naturally right behind.  The thought ran a chill down Steve’s spine.

           “Fine,” he sighed, standing straight.  “I’ll…  I’ll try. Just this once.  But I’m not going to the board game nights, though.”

           You squealed and the jump that came with it shocked your brother.  You could get past his comments this once.  “Thank you, thank you!  Oh, Steve, I could hug you!”  You made a face realizing what just came out of your mouth and you shook your head.  “But I won’t.  Gross.  Here’s your even grosser hairspray, I have to go call Eddie!”

           You shoved the can back in his hand and spun on your heels, now ready to face your boyfriend and his dislike for Steve.  Steve, however, felt a small smile creep up on his face at your antics.  His head snapped up at ‘hairspray’ and he groaned.

           “It’s not just hair spray!” he yelled after you, before looking to himself in the mirror.  “It’s Farrah Fawcett spray.”

                                            ●          ●          ●          ●

             Eddie had come to pick you up for your nightly drive together as soon as you had called, and you couldn’t help the excitement that buzzed in you.  He took note of this and turned down the head pounding sounds of Motley to focus in as soon as you had climbed in the passenger seat.  “What’s got you riled up, sweetheart?  Missed me that much?”

           You smirked, looking to the doe eyed boy. “You’re so full of it, Eds.”

           He tossed his hand to his heart, making those big eyes of his twinkle in the light of the dashboard.  “Only full of my love for you.”

           You couldn’t help the laugh that bustled out and Eddie soon joined in, his hand now grabbing yours in his.  He squeezed gently and you squeezed back, the cold of his rings sending goosebumps up your arm.  “Now come on, spill.  You sounded way too excited on the phone.”

You nodded.  “While yes, I definitely missed you, I talked to Steve today about Nancy’s party.”

           His hand lost a little grip to yours and you looked to him quickly, the smile on his face slowly disappearing and you frowned in response.  “Eddie, it was a good conversation.  He didn’t even say much in the negative category.”

           “Much?” Eddie scoffed.  “So I’m guessing we’re gonna talk about it.”

           “Well, yeah.  I mean, I would just really like you both to get along,” you shrugged.  

           Eddie made a face.

           “For one night.”

           An eyebrow raised as he looked at you.            “For me.”

           That was it.  Right there.  Eddie was caught.  How could he say no to you?  Your relationship had been nothing but perfect, and there was a happy balance of entertaining each others interests.  You’d attend Hellfire meetings with him and watch Corroded Coffin practice, he’d come to your piano recitals and help you finish your notes for book club.  You’d share musical interests with each other and watch every movie under the sun, and you’d both agree Sixteen Candles would never been an option.  His Uncle Wayne had taken an immense liking to you as soon as you and Eddie became friends, he’d even tag along to your piano recitals sometimes when work didn’t have him in a chokehold.  

           “I know you two have never really liked each other, but you’re my boyfriend, he’s my brother.  At the end of the day I don’t want to have to pick between the two of you, and Steve has agreed to set aside all of it for the party.  I just want you to be in the same boat.”

           “Is it just one night?” Eddie questioned, his eyes searching yours.

           “If I can get one night of civil between you two, I can die happy,” you smiled softly.  “And besides, it’ll be fun.  Everyone will be there, the kids, Nancy, Robin, Jonathon, and I’m making your favorite.”

           “Stop,” he gasped, the twinkle coming back and he grinned. “Please tell me it’s your red velvet cake.”

           “With the homemade icing,” you nodded, watching him throw the theatrics back on and he fanned himself.  “Mrs. Wheeler has been asking for the recipe since I made it at Holly’s birthday last year, figured the party would be a good time to make it.”

           “It’s always a good time for anything you cook,” Eddie praised, making you shift in your seat.  “Now I’m really looking forward to this party.”

           “Well,” you sighed, adjusting yourself in your seat and turning your full body towards him.  “I know something that might help the wait.”

           He noticed the change in your tone and his eyes didn’t lose the glimmer, just a different glimmer now displayed and he double checked the gear and threw it in park, having turned into the high school parking lot. “Oh?  Did you make something else for me?”

           “I brought only the best for you,” you smiled, leaning up and across the console separating you.  

           Eddie bit his lower lip and his hand grabbed lightly at your face.  “Show me, princess.”

           Immediately obliging, you pressed your lips to his and he quickly pulled you over the console, resting in his lap.  He seemed to take all of this better than Steve. Maybe the party would work out in your favor, hell, maybe they could even be friends by the end of it? Maybe?  Right?

                                           ●          ●          ●          ●

             “I think it’s nice you’re setting aside your differences for your sister,” Nancy said, pouring a bag of chips into a large serving bowl.  Robin and Steve were helping her with last minute food prep as they awaited everyone to arrive.  Pizza was already there, sodas were in the cooler, Robin even brought movies from Family Video and Steve dug out the old board games your parents had stored away.

           “It’s just for tonight,” Steve retorted, grabbing a Coke and quickly opening it.  He could feel his usual nerves heightened with the agreement between you and him. He’d never admit it, but having his little sister genuinely involved with someone was a huge thing for him (but also it being Eddie didn’t exactly please him either).  “I told her I’d try for tonight.”

           “Why don’t you, I dunno, try everyday?” Robin said, raising an eyebrow.  “You’re missing out on future brother in law bonding time.”

           Steve winced, groaning out and waved his hands. “No, no, no, don’t say that.  You don’t know that.”

           “Ah, but you don’t know either,” the short haired fiend quipped and shrugged.  “Also it wouldn’t kill you to maybe get to know Eddie and form your own opinion. He’s sat with us at lunch a few times, he’s not so bad.”

           Steve looked to Nancy, his face stressed.  “Can you believe this?”

           Nancy pursed her lips, finishing up last touches. “I don’t think it’s honestly a big deal.”

           “What?  You agree?” Steve said.  “You’ve seen Munson and-“

           “And,” Nancy interrupted.  “-nothing.  I don’t have an opinion on Eddie because I don’t know him that well.”

           Robin gestured in support, throwing her arms out in front of her.  “See?”

           “Well he doesn’t make the effort either,” Steve defended.  “So why should I?”

           “One of you has to, or you both have the chance of losing y/n,” Nancy responded, raising her eyebrow at him.  “It takes effort from both of you.”

           “But-“

           The sound of shouting and laughing came from the front room and Nancy looked at him once more.  “Behave.”

           Steve sighed as the kids piled in the kitchen, scurrying over each other and grabbing what their hands could before Nancy shooed them.  “We have more people coming, guys, come on!”

           Jonathon followed in, shouting after Will and Dustin as they brushed past him into the living room.  He smiled kindly to Steve and soon took to the tension that radiated from the older boy.  “You alright?”

           Steve nodded, taking a quick drink of his Coke. “Yeah, just being scolded by women. Again.”

           Jonathon laughed briefly before Steve spoke up once more.  “Is my sister here yet?”

           “Uh, I think her and Eddie weren’t too far down the road,” he replied.  “I passed them on the way here.”

“Good, good,” he nodded. “Great, wonderful, terrific.”

           Steve continued on a tangent of positive words and Jonathon glanced between the two girls, pointing to Steve with an eyebrow raised.  Nancy rolled her eyes and shook her head.  Robin shrugged, sipping exceptionally loud on her drink.  Jonathon made a face at both of them and could only anticipate what to expect going into tonights events.

           The same thought had been crossing Eddie’s mind all day. He knew that despite how he felt, he needed to try his best for you.  That meant setting aside how he felt about your brother, how Steve made him feel all those years in school, every single time Steve laid the ‘freak’ bit on thick – Eddie was preparing himself to leave it all at the door as soon as you arrived to the party.  He could only hope Steve was on the same page and tonight would move rather seamlessly.  If all went according to plan, maybe they could continue hating each other again bright and early tomorrow morning.

           “Whoa!” you yelped, almost bumping into Eddie who had stopped in front of you.  The cake in your hands was fragile cargo and you swerved, saving it from meeting it’s demise with the pavement.  “Jeez, Eds, if you want any of this cake I would appreciate if you kept both feet moving or a heads up would be greatly appreciated.”

           He turned abruptly and made a face, scratching the back of his head.  “Um, yeah, sorry, sweetheart.  Just lost in thought."

           You couldn’t help but smile softly at him.  His nerves were on full display and you knew Steve was most likely in the same boat.  You’d do whatever you could to ease both of the boys tensions, to prevent anything from escalating, and you hoped they both knew you were on their sides and not against them.  It would be beneficial not just for you but the group, too, if there was common ground and structure and not the constant state of tension so thick, of awkward conversations, of debating if it should be both Steve and Eddie invited or one or the other.  Not only was it hard for you, but your friends who were also in the same predicament you were with two of the group members holding it out for one another.

           “It’s gonna be fine, Eds,” you said as you stepped up the small step to the door.  “Deep breaths, like I taught you.”

           He snorted, pushing the door open for you.  “Aye, aye, captain.”

           The eye roll that followed had Eddie pinching at your hips, causing you to yelp and laugh, trying to escape the attack.  “Eddie, stop!  I have a cake in-“

           Your back met with a firm surface and you gasped, hands gripping the dish even tighter.  You wobbled slightly, your feet finding an uneven surface and hands gripped your arms to keep you from tripping even further.  The eyes of Steve looked back at yours when you glanced back and you sighed, standing straighter after regaining your footing.  “I almost dropped the cake, Steve.”

           “Maybe Eddie shouldn’t goof off as much, then,” he stated plainly, removing his hands and making eye contact with Eddie who had set his lips in a fine, tight line at the statement.

           “Come on, Steve,” Nancy quipped, stepping in the room. “He was just being a little silly, that’s all.  Y/n, Eddie, there’s food and drinks in the kitchen!  Come on, I’ll help you get that cake in a safer spot.”

           You smiled to Nancy, looking back at Eddie and raised an eyebrow.  He shook his head and held up his pack of cigarettes, slipping past the three of you and towards the back doors.  A frown soon replaced the former smile and you slipped pass Steve into the kitchen. Nancy gave him a stern look and hustled behind you.  This would be a long night.

                                         ●          ●          ●          ●

             Eddie had rejoined the festivities shortly after his two cigarettes, his nerves only escalating at Steve and his comment.  Right off the bat, he had thought, he just had to jump into an accusatory stance.  He bit his tongue in your defense, but how long could he keep that up?  Jonathon and him had gotten into conversation you had overheard, and watched quietly from a distance.  Nancy and Robin chitchatted next to you, and the kids were already causing Steve’s inner mother to kick in.  Lucas and Mike were tossing a ball back and forth in the living room, Dustin and Will had turned on their favorite radio station and were singing much off tune to Madonna (much to everyone’s surprised enjoyment, even Eddie who only ever consumed that of every heavy 80’s metal or hairband), and Max and El were currently in a contest of who could crush a soda can the fastest: Max against her forehead, or El with her actually head?  Steve was in the current stages of trying to prevent possible brain damage, to both.  Erica was continuously bugging you for a slice of cake, to which you turned her down everytime.

           “Nerd,” she’d grumble.

           “Don’t you agree?” Robin asked, bumping her hip into yours and you quickly looked to her, eyebrows raised.  You waited and she glanced to Nancy, then back.  “Have you really not been listening?  Babes, this is the impending doom of the possibility of not getting new band uniforms.”

           “Oh, no,” you breathed, the end of ‘no’ hitching slightly in question and you couldn’t help the giggle that followed when Robin groaned.  Nancy joined in the laughter and Robin threw her hands up in exasperation.  

           “Fine!  I’ll go complain to Steve!”

           “That might be good, actually,” you suggested, watching Steve stumble by with Dustin on his back and attempting to smack his hands away. “Looks like he could use the help.”

           “Dustin!  Dustin, Steve is not a piñata!” Robin hollered, following after them as you and Nancy watched in amusement.

           “So,” Nancy started in, refilling your cups and returning her gaze to the events taking place in the room next to you.  “They haven’t fought.”

           “Ssh!” you snapped quickly, looking to her.  “Nance, you’ll jinx it!  This is the most I’ve seen them not go at each other, even if they are just keeping to themselves.  It’s a start and I’d like to keep it that way.”

           “How long do you think it’ll keep up, though?” she asked honestly.  When you frowned at her question she set a hand on your arm.  “I want you happy, you’re my friend.  Knowing those two bone heads, though, I just worry they’ll drop the façade when you aren’t looking.”

           Your frown creased even further into your face.  “I don’t know what I’m gonna do, Nance.  It’s my brother and my boyfriend.  I love them both, but I don’t wanna lose either of them.”

           “I know,” Nancy sighed, before perking up.  “What if-“

           “Watch it!” Steve shouted, and all eyes directed into the living room.  

           Eddie dusted Dustin’s shoulders off, before looking to Steve.  “You almost crashed the kid into the bookshelf, man, you should be the one watchin’ it.”

           Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes.  “Like earlier when you nearly pummeled my sister into the ground?”

           “Goddammit, Nancy,” you mumbled before stepping up a ways. “Steve, it was-“

           His eyes cast to you and he scoffed.  “An accident?  Like anytime y’all horse around?”

           “Hey,” Eddie snapped, stepping up to your side. “I’ve never laid a hand on her like that.”

           “Like what?” Steve retorted.

           “You know exactly what you mean,” Eddie said.

           Jonathon stepped up now, followed by Dustin.  “Come on, guys, everyone just caught up in the moment.  Everyone’s good.”

           Steve shook his head.  “I’ll be good when he’s gone.”

           “Steve!” Nancy said, shaking her head.

           “Like hell!” Eddie laughed.  “I was invited!”

           You sat a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, looking to him. “Eddie, calm down.”

           “Fine!  Then I’ll go!” Steve said, and he looked to you.  “Come on, Y/N, we’re leaving.”

           Everyone stared, Robin trying to talk quietly to Steve who was having none of it.  Nancy looked to Jonathon with a worried expression and the kids clamored to the other side of the room, just watching.  You stared at your brother in disbelief and shook your head.  “Steve, we just all need a break, please!  Let’s just all breathe a second!”

           “We can breathe at home.”

           Steve stepped up and grabbed your arm, causing Eddie to grab the other.  You squeaked at the force of the two boys, looking to Nancy with wide eyes.  They had never escalated to protectiveness with you involving each other in the same moment, it had never gotten this heated before and the worry crept in the pit of your stomach, causing bile to slowly rise in the back of your throat.  You swallowed it down, the panic on your face evident and Nancy immediately jumped in.

           “Boys!” Nancy yelled, grabbing onto Steve and Jonathon grabbing Eddie.

           “Come on, guys, this is stupid,” Jonathon added and patted Eddie on his back.

           “She doesn’t wanna go,” Eddie snarled, staring Steve right in the face.

           “I’m her brother, older might I add, so what I say goes,” Steve responded, Nancy tugging on his belt loop.

           “Guys, please stop!” you cried, wiggling in their grips.  “You said you’d try!  Just break it up!”

           Dustin and Max came up, prying the older boys grips and Robin stepped up to pull you aside, her arm slipping around your shoulders. Eddie shook his head, chuckling to himself and turned away from Steve which caused Jonathon to loosen his grip. Nancy kept a petite finger interloped in Steve’s belt loop for safe keeping.  

           “Steve, why don’t we go outside for a minute?”  Nancy mumbled, tugging lightly.

           Steve broke his gaze on Eddie, wiping a hand down his face. He nodded slowly and turned towards her. “Yeah… yeah anything to get away from that freak.”

           The words slipped out without a second thought. Steve froze, as did everyone else, and eyes landed on Eddie.  The panic that set in was worse than the first time and you pulled away from Robin, going to Eddie immediately.  As soon as the words were out, Eddie’s shoulders tightened and his back went straight. Jonathon could see his face and he watched every emotion cross over it – shock, realization, anger, guilt, sadness, absolute rage.  Eddie couldn’t register who was near him and his hearing went into a high frequency pitch.  His eyes darkened and the only thing you felt was the shove, a rush of air, and your back hitting the counter of the island.  “Eddie, no!”

           Eddie swung first.  His fist connected quickly with Steve’s jaw and the elder boy stared stone cold at him as Steve stumbled to the ground.  

           “Shit,” Dustin muttered and everyone was quick in action.

           Steve jumped up from the ground, Will and Mike trying to hold him back while Jonathon and Dustin grabbed for Eddie.  Lucas moved Max and Erica out of the way and Robin and Nancy stepped up to your side.

           “Let me go!” Steve yelled.  “Let me go!”

           “Knock it off!” Mike snapped, stumbling at the tug Steve attempted away from the younger boys.

           “Come on!” Eddie cackled.  “Let pretty boy get a nice swing in!”

           “Don’t push it!” Jonathon snapped.

           “I’m slipping!” Dustin yelled, his palms clammy and his upper arm strength nonexistent in the pull Eddie had.

           “Eddie, Steve, stop!” you shouted.  “Stop right now!”

           “I’ll never understand what my sister sees in you!” Steve shouted, glaring.  “She could do so much better!”

           Eddie scoffed and licked his lips.  “Like I haven’t heard that before!  At least I can land a gal, you strike out on every chance you get!  So much for being the Hawkins King!”

           “Shut up!” you again yelled.  

           “Maybe you should listen to your girlfriend!  She’s clearly got the brains in this relationship!” Steve smirked.  “Third times a charm right?”

           “It’s no wonder she hates being at home!” Eddie started, and you froze.  “I wouldn’t want to be around someone as idiotic, full of themselves, and a kiss ass like you!”

           “Bullshit she doesn’t want to be at home!  It’s better than that trailer trash park you’re in! I’m surprised she hasn’t brought home bed bugs or lice!”

           “Ask her then!  You don’t even try to get to know her anyway, so what does it matter!”

           “I know my sister!”

           “Like hell!”

           Tears began to well in your eyes and you tried your best to swallow them down.  The adrenaline was suffocating, everyone getting their own taste of it.  Dustin’s grip slowly lost and Eddie pulled free the rest of the way, Steve finding his way out from Will and Mike.  Everyone started yelling all at once when the two got ahold of each other, causing mass chaos to ensue.  Fists flying, Eddie landed another blow to Steve’s eye – it would definitely be swollen in the next hour and shut completely by the end of the night.  Steve tumbled around with Eddie, landing two good blows into his ribs causing the metalhead to yell out – they weren’t broken but there would definitely be major bruising and tender for a while.  You attempted your own chance at pulling them apart, but the force of the two sent you stumbling and Nancy shouted, anger setting in for her at the two acting this way in her home.  “Knuckleheads, break it up or I’ll call Hopper!”

           The two continued their dance, nearly tumbling into the three of you and Steve slammed Eddie against the counter top.  Eddie flailed beneath him and Steve sent a blow to his jaw, causing Eddie to yelp in pain.  He glared up at Steve and reached around him for anything that would help him gain some traction.

           His hand landed in something mushy, his fingers feeling a heavy, thick, consistency on them but he went with it.  Eddie grabbed a fist full and landed a blow into Steve’s face, causing him to gasp and lose his hold.  Steve wiped his face, red crumbs and white icing coating his hand. He stared at it before looking up and it was on before you could stop them.  Steve grabbed his own fist full and the two went back to it, cake and icing flying in every which direction.  Food and drinks came with it and everyone yelled as soon, the entire party was coated in carbonation, crumbs of chips, and icing being flung every which direction.  Nancy tried to block herself, screaming out in anger.  Oh, how much trouble she was going to be in for this later.

           You felt the tears brimming, pushing, and soon tumbling over your waterline.  They were heavy, hot, and quickly cascading down your face.  Your chest heaved as you struggled to catch your breath and everything moved in slow motion in front of you.  The cake was destroyed, demolished, gone, as were any chances of your two favorite people reconciling and putting any differences behind them.  There went any chances of family dinners, trips, any chances of enjoying a Corroded Coffin show, any chances of a future that was healthy with either one.  You watched as they continued their antics, neither one of them sparing any glance to check on you, to see your reaction, for any sign or confirmation that you were okay.  In this moment, it was about Steve and Eddie.  It was always about Steve and Eddie.  Reflecting and looking back, even when it was you and only one of them, it turned around to discuss the other.

           Steve always wanted to know what Eddie was doing, who he was hanging out with, where you were going with him, if Eddie was trying to sell you weed, if you two were drinking.  Anything he could get dirt on for your parents.  Eddie always wanted to know what Steve was doing, if he was working, when he was working, and when he’d be home so he could plan exactly to come get you at the worst time just to annoy him.  It was little things, it was spiteful, and the two couldn’t leave high school behind.  Where did you even fit in to the equation?  At that point it’d be better for them to just date each other.

           Making your way to the now empty cake platter, a splash of Coke greeting you in the face on your trek, you grabbed the glass dish firmly in your hands.  The porcelain was completely clean, smooth, no crumbs of what had been.  This is what your life would be now; clean, smooth, no crumbs of what had been.  The surface, slipping back and forth in your hands, would not survive this fight either. Arms raising above your head, you could hear your pulse in your ears, not even the shout from Robin when she saw what you were doing, it was so loud.  Even when you screamed out in frustration, you couldn’t hear how actually loud you were, how it was almost deafening as the realization set over the situation in front of you.  Most everyone covered their ears with their hands, wide eyed and cowering back from what was to come.  With your screaming, you quickly brought the plate crashing down to the kitchen tile and shards of glass went flying.  The small pieces grazed your bare calves, probably not the best time to be wearing shorts.  Steve and Eddie were the two closest to the line of fire, both of them turning away and blocking their faces.  When the glass had calmed, that’s when your screaming did, and the deafening silence that followed felt louder.

           Everyone looked around, food and drink covering every surface in the kitchen and half of the living room.  The glass had spread from the bottom of your feet into the line of the living room, down the tile of the kitchen, and even some had managed to bounce to the countertop.  All eyes slowly landed on you, Eddie and Steve both finally taking in the mass destruction of what they had caused.  Tears continued to stream down your face, mixed with the icing slabbed on your cheek and the stain of Coke all along the collar and upper shoulders of your shirt. Eddie looked to your legs and saw the thin lines of blood from the shards, before meeting your face again.  Steve watched as your shoulders shook from the sobs held in, your face as red as the cake you had made.  

           Oh shit, the cake.

           “Oh, baby,” Eddie started.

           “Kiddo, I-“ Steve added at the same time.

           “No!” you sobbed.  The room grew quiet again.  All eyes were on you.  This was your time.

           “I-“ you started, taking a deep breath to try and align yourself.  “I didn’t want to lose- to lose either of you.  I wanted th-this to work.  Just once!”

           Guilt began creeping over the boys, disappointment settled in Steve’s bones as he knew he let you down, Eddie feeling his own tears start to grow at the state you were in.  They didn’t want this.

           “But now,” you chuckled, causing both boys to go rigid in fear.  “Now I realize you’re losing me.”

           You looked to each of them, a sob tight in your chest and you choked it back.  With shaking hands, you wiped the remaining food from your face, and brushed past the two of them and everyone else.  The sobs finally racked your chest as you quickly made your way out the door, slamming it shut behind you.  

           Steve and Eddie looked around before looking at each other.  They both were fucked up.  And they had fucked up.  Big time.

[katuschka]

Usually Sexual

Josh Kiszka x male OC; a spontaneous little thing, inspired by "recent events" ;-)

2.3+ words This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers, so if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere. Warnings: oral sex, intense emotions and verbal fights, some violence if you squint, some voyeurism too, I guess. A few swear words here and there. Loud noises.

The song was haunting them for months. It started as a spontaneous jam at Jake’s house during one of their many after-dinner get-togethers. Later, they kept revisiting the theme on tour. There was just something to it. It felt like one of those tunes that had always been there in its own metaphysical existence, just hanging in the air, waiting for them to grab it and turn it into actual sound waves. It eventually evolved into a full-fledged composition and when Josh started humming to it and added his own melodic line on top, they thought it might be THE song: The song that you may manage to write just once in a lifetime, or never. Then, one evening in late January, Josh came to the studio with lyrics and it was then that they knew it was THE song. 

There was only one problem. Josh just couldn’t force himself to sing it the way he wanted to. It felt right when he wrote it. It sounded right when he was alone, sitting at his piano at home. But here, in front of the others, he felt completely naked. Bashful, even, which dumbfounded them all, but mostly himself. It was always either too forced, or insincere, or too timid. Unnatural. After six whole sessions filled with constant bickering, even Daniel was already losing his patience.

“I think that, maybeee, this is one of those cases when I should be alone in a soundbooth,” Josh said one day when it was increasingly obvious that their last session might end in a bloodbath. It was a legitimate suggestion, but they were already so used to recording the basics “live” to keep the sound natural and candid that his words just added more fuel to the fire. Danny just sighed, excused himself to take a leak and left the room. Sam opened another can of beer. Jake was livid. 

“Right Josh, but once we’re onstage, you won’t be able to crawl into a fucking soundbooth. What’s your plan? To sing it from your dressing room?”

They just didn’t get it. He was trying, really. But whenever he got to certain parts, certain words, certain notes, his throat constricted. He tried to explain it, multiple times, but even that fell flat, because how could he explain the meaning behind the words when he couldn’t open up about the feelings that inspired them. Only two people knew. One of them was not in the studio with them to support him, and the other one was seething, focused solely on the work they had to finish. At least Jake finally gave in and agreed to try it. 

Next day they played without Josh. They somehow managed to wrap up the instrumental part in just four hours. All it needed now was the closing guitar solo – already written – and, of course, the vocals. 

Josh arrived at the studio the next afternoon, outwardly calm and well rested, but still battling the same internal struggle. He holed up in the booth, put the earphones on, got ready, looked at the three faces behind the mixing console, and started singing. And it was a…disaster. Which subsequently led to a very loud and emotional verbal fight. 

“Just sing the fucking song, Josh! It’s not rocket science.” Jake really, really tried to stay calm and to stop himself from yelling, yet he failed miserably.

“Yeah, we don’t even know what the fuck it all means…,” Sam chimed in.

Jake cleared his throat, which made Sam roll his eyes in annoyance. Even now?

“...ok, so Jake here probably knows what it all means…”

“I do.”

“...’course you do, you fucker, but that’s not the point. Listen Josh, I understand that this is probably some kind of a confession or something, but could you just pull your head, or whatever else is there, out of your ass and…”

Sam knew he had crossed the line even before the bottle, previously resting in Josh’s hand, shattered against the wall right behind him,  just a few feet to his left. Josh stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him with a deafening blow. He didn’t return that day. Or the next. 

……………………

For several days, they barely spoke to one another. Then, one Tuesday night, during one of those early spring storms, Josh found himself sitting in an armchair in his dark, unlit room. Ha had spent the last two hours listening to the rain drumming on the tiles of his patio outside the sliding glass doors, trying to figure out what to do and how to find a solution to this “precarious situation”. No song was worth risking the relationship with his brothers. They had found themselves in similar situations many times before, but the current radio silence was a bit concerning. He knew what the song needed – the feral energy he hardly ever failed to muster onstage. See, Jake was wrong about this. He could imagine himself singing this song live just fine. This had somehow never been an issue in front of the audience. The untamed energy of thousands of adoring people often let him open to them, and to the world, with unaffected pleasure. He let them listen to him, to see him…to touch him…  And suddenly, he got an idea. 

……………………

Sam wasn’t sleeping yet, but seeing his brother’s name on a lit up phone screen annoyed the shit out of him all the same. 

“What?!” 

It was late, and he wasn’t in the mood to talk…to Josh, he certainly didn’t want to go out for a drink…with Josh, AND the very last thing he wanted was to talk about the fucking song again… so Josh’s suggestion that they should meet in the studio asap just made him see red. 

“Are you fucking kidding me? The studio’s not booked and everyone’s asleep. It’s nearly midnight, Josh!”

“Yeah…exactly, umm… That means the studio would be free and empty now, right? I’m sure it can be arranged. I think I got it, Sam! I…ummm, found a way to finish the fucking song. I need to try this one thing and I need your help. Pleeeease. And…I’m really sorry, Sam.” “Ok,” he sighed exasperatedly. Sam, too, was sick of the current situation, and if Josh thought that a night session with just the two of them, free of Jake’s scrutiny, would help, so be it. “I just need to make some phone calls. Meet you there in…90 minutes?”

“Perfect! Thank you.”

……………………

Eleven hours later

It was already almost noon when Jake and Daniel finally arrived with the coffee. Sam was still sitting behind the mixing console, having tried to add some more finishing touches to the mix before he felt it was ready to be presented to the other two. 

“So, what’s up? Why did you summon us here at this ungodly hour, oh ye little brother? You look like shit, by the way.” 

Jake was an ass, but he was right. Sam felt absolutely exhausted. He had spent the whole night at the studio, his eyes were bloodshot and his head was pounding. He had no energy to argue, he was hungry, and really just wanted to crawl in his bed and spend the next two days there. Maybe three. But he needed them to hear it first. 

“Well, I still need to work on this a bit, and you will need to add the solo, obviously, but we managed to record all the vocal parts tonight and the raw mix already sounds pretty good. Sounds great, actually…even though the ending might be a bit…unconventional.” 

They both looked at him in disbelief, but accepted the offered seats and urged him to continue. “Ok, let’s hear it,” Jake breathed out as he leaned in his chair.

When they finished listening, Daniel looked like a parent that should be scolding a naughty kid, but couldn’t because he was just trying not to laugh. Jake’s expression was unreadable. After at least thirty more seconds of complete silence, he finally spoke, his voice unnaturally calm, which only meant the storm was coming.

“And what the flying fuck was that?!?”

“Well, I think it was Josh sounding like…,” Daniel piped in, his voice muffled by his own hand. 

“I know fucking well what it sounded like! He’s my twin AND we lived together. No…no…nonono.” Jake stood up and was now pacing the room. 

Sam expected this kind of reaction. He was ready for it and he was also desperate to defend what they just heard. Because, above all, it was great. It was what they wanted…

“No, Sam, I didn’t want this. We cannot possibly release this. How did you even…? Was he jerking off in that booth or what?”

“Um, no, Thomas was here, too…”

Daniel spit out his coffee, barely missing the console, and Jake …Jake just had to sit down again. As soon as Danny stopped coughing, he looked at Sam, bit his lip and burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter. “Oh my god…but…I agree with you Sam. It sounds fucking great,” he wheezed out, eyes still filled with tears. 

……………………

Nine hours earlier 

When Sam arrived at the studio, Josh…and Tom … were already there. It took them a little while to convince Sam not to turn on his heel and run back home after they had explained what they intended to do, but now they were all good and ready in their respective workplaces; Sam sat behind the mixing table, Josh and Tom crammed together in the small vocal booth, both already shirtless. 

“So, what do you want me to do?” Tom asked as he positioned himself right behind Josh. He felt a bit unsure still, but was willing to try his best. 

“You know the song, you know it’s yours. I am your instrument now. Play me.”

And he did. Sam dimmed the lights and told them to get ready. Josh was supposed to sing the whole song all in one take. They would try again if necessary, but this was the general idea. No pauses. Tom got his own set of earphones and as soon as they heard the initial chords, he hugged Josh’s bare torso, letting his hands roam free, caressing him gently. And Josh started singing. And it was beautiful. When the initial awkwardness subsided, Tom leaned into his role completely and started placing subtle kisses on his lover’s neck, which Josh translated into even more haunting sounds. 

When he was about to hit one particularly difficult high note, Tom grabbed him by the elbows, pulled his arms up and slowly ran his palms up Josh’s forearms until he reached the wrists, crossed them and held them tight, high above their heads. He circled his fingers around Josh’s pulse points, while Josh wailed into the microphone, his face contorted with all the intense emotions that he hid in the words he wrote. Now he finally let it all out. It was exhilarating. Twenty feet farther, separated from them by two walls, Sam punched the air in silent victory. 

The very first take was already more than good, but they tried three more times – just in case – Josh and Tom doing their intimate little dance within the confines of the small soundbooth. 

“Ok, I think we’re good, that was really wonderful, Josh…but, time to wrap it up,” Sam’s voice finally pierced through the intercom. 

Josh wasn’t so sure. True, it was almost three in the morning and they were all already beyond tired, but this was worth a shot. He might not have another opportunity like this and if it didn’t work, they could still use one of the previous takes. They were satisfactory, yes, but even though he finally managed to convey the contents of his mind with his voice, this song was a matter of the heart…and – let’s be completely honest – cock. He needed more stimulation. 

“Hey, Sam, do you think we could try the last chorus one more time?”

“Just the last chorus?” 

“Yeah”

“Ok, just let me go grab some munchies first. Be right back.” 

Tom was leaning against the booth wall with his arms crossed, watching Josh apprehensively. He yawned and tried a few neck circles to relieve his tense muscles. “So what’s your plan now?” 

Josh didn’t meet his gaze at first. He was looking at nothing in particular, toying with his goatee like he always did when he was deep in thought. When he finally looked at him, he spoke in a whisper, but it was a demand nevertheless. “I want you to suck my dick.” Tom’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “Josh, you can’t be serious. Sam’s here, and….your voice will shake. What’s the point?” 

“That’s exactly the point, Thomas. And Sam won’t be able to see you. Now come here, get ready,” he ordered as he pulled down his zipper.

By the time Samuel got back, Tom was already on his knees, crammed in a tight space between the front wall and Josh’s microphone, his hands clawing at Josh’s thighs and his mouth full. Josh was taking long, deep breaths, trying to be in control of the situation as they heard Sam’s voice through the intercom again. “Ok, Josh, I’m not playing the whole song again. We’re starting at 4:37. Ready?” “Yeah, ready, just leave it rolling till the end,” he breathed out. 

This was a new and exciting experience, and when he finished the last chorus and the bridge leading to the closing guitar solo part started playing, he could no longer control himself. Josh’s short, high pitched breathy moans filled the air during the bridge part and when they finally got to the rhythmic piano segment that served as a foundation for Jake’s – yet to be recorded – finishing solo and outro, he let out a long and melodic warcry and filled  Tom’s mouth with his warm seed. As requested, Sam was still recording.

……………………

@its-interesting-van-kleep @fleet-of-fiction @thewritingbeforesunrise @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @takenbythemadness @edgingthedarkness @writingcold @lvnterninthenight

[artzee-bee]

Forever my love | Adrien Agreste x reader

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Requested by @oyasumimosura

Summary: friends to strangers to lovers with a no-so-happy ending

Genre: some fluff, angst

Warnings: canon typical violence (maybe tuned up a notch tho), death

A/N: my google doc for this piece is 10 pages long and it’s went through at least 4 alternate endings before getting here. I got this request months ago and have been working on it since, whenever I can. I hope this is alright because it’s been a journey...

~~~

There was no ‘first memory’ with you. Not one that would come to Adrien’s mind anyways. It felt like you had simply always been in his life. The only thing he remembered was you and your mother, entering the Agreste mansion as if it was your own, almost every Sunday. His mom would welcome both of you with wide arms and offer you tea, and biscuits, which you would snuck to Adrien’s room. Your favorite have always been the ones with strawberry jam filling.

And then you’d play for hours! Building fortresses out of chairs and pillows, racing toy cars around the room, saving plush animals from the imminent danger of Adrien’s rocketship and so on. Not a single moment spent with you felt boring! Your presence was addictive, the joy, the excitement you brought with yourself every time was something Adrien couldn’t understand at the time but now, as an adult looking back, he could easily recognise it as love.

But the world has its own way of never quite letting you be happy enough. The memory of your last playdate, as well as the day his parents told him you were moving away, were very hazy and unclear. For years he refused to revisit them, the sorrow too great for his young, immature self to know how to handle. Now, there was only one sentence he could remember you saying, clear as day. One promise that gave him more hope than he could put in words. “We’ll keep in touch”.

You exchanged letters the whole time you were away!! Of course, they could never be a substitute for the time spent together but Adrien learned to appreciate them deeply. He took his time responding to each of them and always nervously awaited your response. Years went on like that! Every summer you’d promise to visit and every time Adrien would have the displeasure of having to read, in your flawless and delicate handwriting, that your parents canceled the trip for whatever reason.

Eventually, he decided it was best to move on. In the time you had been gone many things changed: he grew up, got big in the fashion industry, started school, became the new black cat miraculous holder, made friends! His life became overwhelmingly busy and the precious memories you made together faded away without notice. He found joy in other things and in his new friends! Your letters no longer brought the excitement they once did and consequently, he always postponed replying until eventually, it all stopped.

Much to Adrien’s shock, almost exactly a year after losing contact, he saw you! He had been transformed at the time, having just finished defeating an akuma when he saw you exiting a coffee shop down the street. He couldn’t believe his eyes and had it not been for the alarming beeping of his miraculous, he probably would have stayed petrified on top of that roof much longer. Once detransformed, he tried to go looking for you but to no avail.

It wasn’t until a week later that he finally got to talk to you again. Natalie reached out to your family and arranged for you two to meet. That Friday afternoon, you had lunch at a pizza place that you didn’t recognise. He looked the same. Same innocent glimmer in his eyes and ecstatic voice. It almost weirded you out how much it seemed this boy never changed. But of course, you weren’t right. Many things have changed.

Adrien tried his best to be open and friendly. To him, it felt like no time had passed at all, but you were so quiet and shy. A subtle frown was visible on your face from the moment you arrived and you barely looked him in the eyes. The air around you felt thick with discomfort, which was extremely frustrating to Adrien. He wanted to ask what’s wrong but found it so difficult to speak his mind until, eventually, you opened up yourself.

“Why did you stop writing?” your voice didn’t betray any feeling of anger or sadness and yet, Adrien was instantly washed over with guilt

“I’m sorry. I wanted to but…”

“Was I not worth it?”

“What?” Adrien couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth, but you were just as still and cold as before

“Because, you see, when we were kids you were one of the most important people in my life. You were my best friend and I honestly thought we would never ever be apart! No one could ever break us up! And I put everything I had into not losing that, convinced that you’d do the same for me! Because your friendship was worth more to me than any number of kilometers between us!” your words fell out quickly and stung him “Was I not worth fighting for, Adrien?”

He didn’t know what to say! He wanted to tell you he was just stupid and made a grave mistake. That you were more than worth it, but the words were stuck in his throat.

You didn’t speak after that. Adrien was heartbroken but figured you were already so mad at him, it would only make it worse if he kept pestering you on.

Eventually, one night, after patrol, he saw you! It was already way after dark and you were just strolling down the street all alone. A sense of anxiety overtook him and he knew he couldn’t go home just yet

“Good evening pretty lady!” he greeted you, full of glee. “The streets can get pretty nasty this late at night, y’know? Hope you don’t mind if this street cat walks alongside you for a while.”

“Hello Chat Noir!” your voice was so smooth and warm “ I’d really love that. I was actually quite uncomfortable walking alone.” “Well then, fear not!The bravest and strongest hero in all of Paris is right here at your service! Did I also mention the most charming?” you giggled to his silliness

Adrien was ecstatic to get to talk to you again, like old times. He finally felt like he got his friend back! He didn’t even realize how big of a hole your absence had left in his life. After that night, he would accompany you everyday on your evening walks and, soon enough, you began hanging out at your house. Oftentimes he would knock on your bedroom window shortly after you got home from school and more often than not, he would spend hours at your place. You did almost everything together from playing video games to watching movies, cooking, gossiping. He would tell you all the fun stories he had with Ladybug from their patrols and would blush a little when you began laughing uncontrollably. It was just too cute.

With all this joy, still there was an ounce of pain at the idea that you didn’t know who you were really talking to. Almost every time you called him Chat, his heart would sting a little. He liked being Chat Noir. He loved it even. With you however, it just felt like one big lie he could do nothing about. He wanted you to look at him and see the boy from all those years ago. To look at him and call him by his name. To rejoice in old memories, instead of him having to pretend he hears the story for the first time. Adrien couldn’t help but feel like he was betraying you by simply being here, knowing how mad you were with his civilian self. When those thoughts got to him, he felt more alone than ever, but you almost always picked up on it

“What’s wrong?” you would ask and the sweetness of your voice ran like ice down his body. You would not be this kind if you knew

“Absolutely nothing, I am doing wonderful” he’d say through gritted teeth

“Sit down and talk to me!”

“I can’t. It’s personal” which you knew really meant “It would put my identity in danger”

So you would shut up. You’d make tea or let him have the last cookie as a sign of solidarity. To let him know you still cared. Sometimes he would ask you for hugs, which you would indulge him in. You’d wrap your arms around his shoulders and hug him tight to your chest, trying to convey all the love and care you had for him in that one gesture. Almost always, the hero would melt into your embrace as if he’d never been held before. His head would rest on your shoulder and his blonde locks tickled your neck and cheek.

Confessing to you was the biggest risk he ever took, which meant a lot considering his occupation. It happened after yet another game of cards lost by Chat. It had been what felt like his 15th loss of the night and in a futile attempt to protect his remaining dignity, he slipped

“You’re only winning cause I love you too much to let you lose!” the cocky attitude dropped instantly as he processed his choice of words. You were just looking at him, a little quizzingly, unsure if you heard him right.

“Do you mean that?”

“I do”

The brightest smile overtook your features instantly “Good. I love you too!”

It was difficult for a long time. The secret identity issue became even greater with the new level of intimacy that was expected with the start of a romantic relationship. On top of that, Adrien was pretty clueless. You were his first girlfriend, the first girl he ever fell in love with, the pressure was high. He wanted to be the best boyfriend there was! He brought you many gifts, big and small. He spent as much time with you as he could, he always told you just how much you actually meant to him. The blush on your cheeks and the witty comebacks made him melt through his seat every time and with every happy memory he made with you came the unmistakable pain of never really being completely honest with you. On one of your sleepovers, the feelings were overwhelming Chat more than he thought was possible

“What’s going on Chat?”

“Nothing darling. Just tired”

“Come on, you know you can’t fool me! You’ve been quiet all night, it’s really unlike you”

Adrien’s mind went empty when you sat on the floor in front of him, lightly running your fingers over his leather clad ones. The trust and love in your eyes was so mesmerizing. No one had ever looked at him like that and for a split second he imagined your reaction if you knew who he was. He wondered if you’d kick him out. Break up with him here and now and never want anything to do with him ever again. He imagined the anger in your voice, the betrayal. And then, he considered, briefly, a different option. A scenario in which you’d hug him tight and kiss the top of his head, and there’d be no more lies. No more secrets, no more of these impossible feelings that were tormenting him. That smile, that bliss, engulfed his mind and he felt powerless in the face of hope.

“I’m sorry” he said weakly

“For what?” and before he could think for another second, talk himself out or consider the consequences of his actions, he did the only thing he felt was logical

“Plagg, claws in”

When the green light vanished and Adrien found himself back in his normal clothes, he didn’t muster to look at your face

“Chat, what are you doing?” finally, he glanced up, only to find you curled up on the ground, with your hands over your eyes. You hadn’t seen him

“It’s ok.”

“You detransformed?”

“Yes…”

“Chat you can’t do that.”

“I want you to see me” he tried to sound confident, but it came out almost as a plea.

“What about Ladybug?”

“I’ll deal with her later. It’s ok. I swear”

“Chat…”

“Please”

Adriean reached out to pull your hands away from your face, but your eyes were still closed

“Chat?”

“Yes?”

“Before I look, I want you to know that I love you regardless of who you are. If you’re doing this because you think I can’t love you fully without knowing your identity, if you’re doing this for me, please know that this won’t change anything. I want you to be comfortable with this, ok?” Adrien blushed, feeling tears well up in his eyes

“I want to do this” he kissed your knuckles “if that’s ok with you”

Slowly, you opened your eyes and Adrien felt his heart beating out of his chest. Your face went soft and your eyes welled up with tears and you looked at eachother. You couldn’t muster a word and neither could he. He took this as you being disappointed and let go of your hand, only for you to grab it once more, much harder than before. Finally, tears came rolling down your cheeks, as you whispered a simple “I love you”

That night, neither of you could stop crying. The liberation of all secrets and all lies felt divine and finally, Adrien felt like he was 100% safe for the first time in his life.

Many things changed after that. Adrien got a serious scolding from Ladybug, since he couldn’t lie to her about what he’s done. She wasn’t as mad as he expected her to be, so in the end it was all worth it when you began showing up to the Agreste mansion to hang out. It was hard for Adrien to find time to spend with her during the day but Natalie was always so understanding of their relationship and tried her best to squeeze in an hour or two here and there for you! Now, Adrien could hold your hand and take you to his photoshoots. You facetimed more often and it finally felt like you got the relationship you were always meant to have.

~~~

Paris looked beautiful from the top of the Eiffel tower. Chat took you here many times before. It felt so romantic being up there with your best friend, the boy of your dreams! You felt so powerful looking down at all the lights and cars passing by and at the same time so protected by his tight grip around your waist. Nothing could hurt you if he was there, with or without the costume! But the arms holding you now were much slimmer and much less concerned with your safety. You knew you shouldn’t look down from the edge you were standing on but it was so hard not to. Lila was manic next to you, laughing and shouting about her imminent victory, taunting the two superheroes that were struggling to catch up.The tiny robots Lila could control with her powers had kept Ladybug and Chat Noir busy for just enough time to allow the akumatized girl to take you with her, away from the scene and up here.

“Be careful with what you do next Ladybug, otherwise the girl gets it!” the taunting manner in which she spoke felt hardly like Lila. You never found her to be a particularly pleasant person to be around but the malice with which she spoke now was so unusual!

She kicked your shin, making one of your legs drop off the edge. Had it not been for her holding onto your forearm, you would have dropped. You could see Ladybug and Chat approaching but they were so far away and it felt like they were moving so slowly. A cry ripped through your chest as you hung there, your life in the hands of this girl you couldn’t even recognise anymore.You were trying to pull yourself back on the ledge with your other foot before she kicked that one too, swinging you in the air by your arm.

“Oh oh, but you’re so far away little Bug? Whatever are you gonna do if my hand …slips?” she let go with a chuckle.

Chat couldn’t see anything around him anymore, all he saw was your helpless body falling from the sky! He screamed your name but he was still so far! Ladybug threw her yoyo, trying to form a net below you, but the speed at which you were falling was much greater than anybody expected. You fell right through the net, breaking it to pieces and hit the ground with a hard thud. Chat screamed, Ladybug was speechless, all the while Lila was laughing on her way down!

“Chat, get her! I’ll handle Lila!”

That’s all it took. Chat was looking down at your unconscious form before he knew it. You were so bloody and so limp in his arms.

“Don’t!” you whispered when he tried to pick you up

“It’s not safe for you here, I need to hide you away!” he almost screamed, too relieved to see you alive to be able to control himself

“It’s over Chat!”

“Don’t talk like that! You will be ok! I will make you ok!”

“I’m tired…”

“No, don’t do it! Focus on me, focus on my voice! Can you see me?”

“You have to protect the people…”

“You are the only one I have to protect! I’m sorry I wasn’t there to catch you, I’m sorry! Please! Please let me protect you!” tears were streaming down his face and he found himself thinking that he would sell his soul to switch places with you

“Chat, I love you” you said through your own tears

“Don’t say goodbye!”

“I’m not”

“I love you Y/N! I love you so much, please don’t leave me alone! I can still save you!” he laid his head on your chest, not believing his own words

“I’ll always love you Adrian!” you whispered in his ear, kissing his temple with the last of your powers

~~~

“You need to hurry up, Adrian needs to be at a press conference across town in one hour and we’re already behind schedule because of you!”

“Nathalie, stop that! Everyone is doing their best here.”

“This photoshoot was supposed to be over already!”

“Maybe you should go have some water while you wait, yeah?” Adrien was trying to be nice but he felt really bad about the way Nathalie was speaking to the makeup artist. He knew they were very busy and Nath was under a great deal of stress but still, he felt it wasn’t fair to the girls working hard to get him ready.

“I’m sorry about that! She’s a lovely person, it’s just the last couple of days have been really hard for her”

“Oh, it’s alright, sir. Trust me I’ve seen much worse before” the young girl replied “Plus, I would imagine that making the switch to become a full time model would bring on a lot more responsibilities on her side.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Adrien chuckled. “If you would have told me last year, when I was still in school, that my schedule would be even more packed as a graduate, I would have probably given up modeling then and there. Now I just deal with it.”

Adrien observed himself in the mirror, thinking back to his high school days. He tried to remember what he looked like, although that was very difficult. He knew his hair was much longer now, reaching just below his chin. He thought his face was a bit slimmer and many people told him he put on a healthy amount of muscle in the last couple of months, but  he was still himself, just 20.

“If you don’t mind sir, we need the first couple of buttons of your shirt undone for the next set. I will add a little contour to the collarbones and then we’re done”

Said and done, with the first few buttons open he looked even more manly than before.

“Um, I think we should take the necklace off if you don’t mind…”

Eyes shot down to his chest, where a tiny silver ring on a chain hung, barely glistening in the lights around.

“Yes, that’s alright” he said, although he never liked taking it off. There was always a worry in the back of his hand about misplacing it or something and the thought was simply unbearable, but he understood.

“That’s a very beautiful piece of jewelry”

“Thank you!” he looked down at the ring twirling it between his fingers. It was so simple, he wasn’t used to receiving compliments on it, even from the select few that got to see it. A simple golden band with a round diamond in the middle. It was so small for him, he could never get it more than halfway down his ring finger. “It belonged to somebody I cared a lot about.” He remembered how hard he worked to get your ring size, all those years ago. It was difficult to do it behind your back, since you had always been so good at reading his body language, you always knew when he was up to something. He remembered all those nights spent on the internet, looking for the perfect ring for you! He knew it needed to be simple but sometimes it was so hard to talk himself out of buying one of the big and glamorous ones. He just wanted to spoil you rotten and if he didn’t take the chance to do that when he was buying your engagement ring, then when would he? Finally, after weeks, he finally found this one and fell in love. It was perfect for you and you were gonna love it. The day it arrived was one of the most exciting times he experienced in the last decade, he could still feel his heart pumping now, at the memory.

“They can’t wear it anymore so I just keep it!” in fact, you had never even gotten the chance to try it on, but those details don’t need to be shared. Still, thinking about the incident, taking place only 2 weeks after he got the ring, hurts him to no end. He was planning the perfect engagement, a grand romantic gesture to make all your dreams come true but now he felt sorrow and regret, wishing he would have simply ran to your door the same day that package was delivered to ask you. At least then you would have known, you would have had the chance to say yes.

“I’m sure they were an incredible person” Adrien only nodded to that “Well, you’re all done, you can head to the set now”

“Thank you, I’ll just drop this off to Nathalie and go”

The pain of not having you around would never go away, Adian had accepted that as a fact! You would always be there for any anniversary or birthday, achievement or simply on lazy days when his mind would wonder. Nothing made the sting of not being able to hold your hand go away but at least the ring, your ring, would comfort him in those moments.

[daizymax]

descent to depravity | psh, cs (m)

summary: just when you think you have convinced yourself that the sinful creature who visited you all those nights ago was merely the product of a vividly erotic dream, he returns to you — and this time, he is not alone...

pairing: seonghwa x fem reader x san

genre: fantasy, smut

word count: 8.1k

rating: mature (18+)

warnings & features: part two of these wicked delights; incubus!seonghwa; incubus!san; profanity; supernatural elements; slight religious elements; graphic sexual content; dubcon; d/s roles without proper safety or aftercare; threesome; dirty talk; oral sex (f receiving); unprotected piv sex; multiple creampies

author's note: rewritten for ateez and reuploaded from my old blog. meant to upload this on halloween but oh well. heed the warnings and enjoy y'all.

( click here to read on AO3 instead )

---

It all ended in a dream.

Because it was never real. Of course it wasn’t. It was merely a strikingly vivid dream.

It had to have been.

That’s what you have been repeating to yourself in regards to the bizarre — and erotic — encounter you’d had with the mysterious, otherworldly creature months ago. It was both easy and difficult to write the experience off as some sort of demented fantasy brought to life during the worst dry spell you’ve experienced. After all, the dream has never once revisited your sleeping mind, despite plaguing many of your waking thoughts.

So when a wave of foreboding pinpricks trickles down your spine, paranoia makes you twist away from the bathroom sink to look behind you. Nothing seems out of the ordinary in your bedroom, however. There is no visitor sitting on the bed, nothing has been disturbed.

You close your eyes and shake your head, then resume brushing your teeth. But the tingles that linger at the start of your spine are just so familiar…

After you finish rinsing your mouth, you turn off the bathroom lights and shuffle tiredly to bed. Just as you pull back the covers to slip under them, you catch sight of two circular, red lights in the window from your peripheral vision.

It’s him, those are his eyes!

When you lift your head to get a proper look, the red glow has vanished. You step around your bed and up to the window to peek through the blinds, but the only lights to be found are the one reflecting off the rotund moon and the ones from the street lamps. There is nothing and no one to be seen — least of all a creature with eerie crimson eyes in the guise of a humanoid body.

You decide it was probably just some passing tail lights from a car and remove your fingers from between the blinds.

Switching off the bedside lamp, you do your best to push away the thoughts of the demonic being from your mind as you snuggle into your pillow. Your breathing and heart rate slow as you relax, lulled by the chirping of crickets and the occasional hum of car tires rolling by outside.

Just as you are finally sinking into slumber, something suddenly brings the hairs on the nape of your neck to attention. The pinpricks from earlier ripple over the entire expanse of your skin with greater force. Before you can roll over, your muscles are stiffened to total ineffectiveness, though the sound of his haunting voice would surely have frozen you just as effectively.

“Hello again, pet…”

The dehumanizing way in which he greets you is chilling, but you cannot shiver.

This is just a dream… you repeat your sacred mantra silently because your lips are sealed tight. This isn’t real…

“Ah. You wound me, child,” the creature laments in response to your thoughts. “I did not think it too terribly narcissistic of me to expect a warmer welcome, hm?”

“She is afraid,” drawls a second male voice, every bit as melodic as the first, “but not of you. Not directly. She is afraid to admit how much she truly enjoyed your last visit... and she is wondering who I am.” He reads and voices the question in your mind before it can even fully form.

“I have brought another of my kind to accompany me tonight, my pet,” the first one explains to you. “Think of his name as ‘San.’ Do you remember my name, child?”

You flinch again at the way he thinks of an adult woman as a child compared to his innumerous years, but not before your mind recalls the answer to his question.

Seonghwa…

He hums, seemingly pleased.

“You were right about this one being a desperate little thing,” the one named San muses. “The vibrations of her lust are remarkably strong for a human. I am curious to know if she is truly as sweet and supple as you claimed, Seonghwa.” The tone he accentuates on the name sounds like a tease, if you are not mistaken.

“You will still address me respectfully, novice,” Seonghwa bites back. “Especially if you wish to discover her sweetness for yourself.”

San does not seem to have any comeback for that and remains silent.

“I can sense that others of her kind have done the same in the time since I left her,” Seonghwa goes on. “There is a lingering stench on her skin that is not hers. Faint, but there, particularly between those supple legs.”

You feel your face heat up at the memories of your recent, meaningless hookups. You had been relieved to have finally quenched that previous dry spell with tangible encounters with real people, but the powerful creature’s tone fills you with a surprising sense of shame.

You try to gather your thoughts to form some sort of defensive explanation, but Seonghwa cuts you off.

“I am not upset with you for attempting to fill your baser needs, child,” he tells you almost soothingly. His voice is so sweet, so beautiful. “In truth, I am partly to blame for that. I told you our time spent together would take its toll, did I not? Our encounter has fueled the carnal desires I meant to sate, and now it is nearly impossible to sate them, isn’t it? You crave more and more. That is why I have returned and brought along another. Though San is younger and less experienced than myself, he is quite… voracious. And a quick learner. Between the two of us, you will never need to seek a lesser form of pleasure ever again.”

“Shall we begin, little one?” San asks without missing a beat.

A weight presses against your shoulder through your blankets, and you assume it is a hand. San’s hand, from the proximity of his voice. All of your movements and sounds are still constricted by the foreign yet familiar force held over you, however, and you are still rendered blind.

“She will not deny us, hyung,” the newcomer tells Seonghwa knowingly. “I know you can hear the blood thrumming in her genitalia. Her body is screaming for us to ravish it; there is no need to keep it bound. Release her. I want to hear her proclaim her wanton desires with her own tongue.”

Surprisingly, Seonghwa obliges the request, and a baited breath rushes past your lips the instant they loosen. You blink your eyelids slowly to allow your pupils to adjust to the scant light in your bedroom.

When you shift and look up, you recognize Seonghwa’s towering form standing in the shadows several feet from the foot of your bed. His black hair is swept back from his forehead, giving you a clear view of the eerie ruby eyes set in his ivory face, calmly observing you.

Next, you turn your head to the side to seek out your other ‘visitor.’ Your gaze first falls on the claw of a hand still resting on your covered shoulder. The fingers are slender and knobby at the knuckles; the nails are black and pointed. You feel heat swirl in your lower belly when you suddenly recall the way your inner juices had shone on Seonghwa’s fingers during your last tryst.

A hum of amusement draws your gaze upward to properly see the demonic figure looming over you, and you gasp softly at the sight of him. The fringe of his blond hair dangles into his crimson eyes; the orbs are a lighter, brighter shade than his elder’s. High cheekbones jut sharply out of alabaster skin. A tendon in his creamy neck flexes under your scrutiny. The thought that this could be Satan himself briefly flits through your hazy mind.

It is impossible to discern which of the two creatures is more beautiful.

San chuckles to himself whilst reading your mind, and the abyssal timbre of the sound — almost like music — makes you shudder.

“My companion is quite proficient at hearing unspoken thoughts, but he wishes to hear you speak your desires, pet,” Seonghwa says to you. “So, go on and tell us how desperate you are for us to use your body for our pleasure as we give you yours.”

“We cannot guarantee we will be gentle,” San inputs as a warning, “but all parties shall be sufficiently satisfied in the end.”

You look back and forth between the two hellish beings — taking a quick second to be thankful for having control of your body, unlike before — as you contemplate the situation. If these were normal men, there is no chance you would agree to this, no matter how good-looking they were…

Would you?

The mere presence of these beings makes you question your reality and your morals.

“Why does your mind dispute your body’s wants, little one?” San wonders aloud. He sounds genuinely curious. “Would you truly rather return to a slumber filled with fleeting, unfulfilling fantasies than have us drive you to the brink of madness one orgasm at a time?”

How easily your morals crumble from one salacious promise.

“Please...” you finally croak weakly.

San’s fingers tighten in the sheets. You wouldn’t be surprised if he has punctured tiny holes in the linen. “Please what?” he presses.

You lick your lips and utter, “Fuck me,” in a voice you can barely recognize as your own.

San finds something funny with your words and laughs darkly. “So crass,” he tsks, but sweeps the sheets from your body nevertheless.

In two swift, easy motions, he slashes your sleepwear to shreds, rendering you nude. The action startles you, and you automatically curl in on yourself out of sudden shyness.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Seonghwa tuts in disapproval. “Do not make me restrain you again, child. Be a good pet and let your master look upon what is his.”

He steps closer and coaxes your legs apart, not with unseen force, but with a manual graze of his large hands along the flesh of your thighs. His touch is light and frigid, and you shiver as you let your legs fall open. Once your center is visible to him, he traces the pad of his thumb along the outer circumference of your folds. There is a sort of reverence in his gentle touch.

From beside you, you notice San craning his neck to glimpse the view his elder is enjoying.

“San,” Seonghwa calls softly.

San obeys the unspoken command, moving to sidle beside Seonghwa in a motion so seamless he almost seems to glide across the floor. Your nerves tingle when both of their red gazes are fixed so intently on your naked pussy.

“You may proceed in discovering how sweet and supple our little pet is,” Seonghwa grants him, as though your body were his personal property to give away as he pleases. And of course he hears your silent (and justified) protest, because the next thing he says is: “Your body is my property, child. When I am here, I am the master, and you are the pet. My cohort and I will give you more pleasure than could ever be found behind Heaven’s gate, but on our terms. You must comply to our every whim because you are not in charge here, not even of your own body. Am I in any way unclear?”

His voice booms deeper on the last sentence. You meekly shake your head no.

Seonghwa hums and pats your thigh approvingly. “There’s a good pet. You may proceed, San.”

A wide, wolfish grin appears in the darkness below San’s glowing eyes. “Gladly.”

With that, he becomes a blur of motion from how fast he kneels to dive between your legs. His wide shoulders knock against your knees, and his fingers roam up your thighs to replace Seonghwa’s with a strong grasp. He drags you downward until your ass is even with the edge of the bed. When his nose nudges the folds of your cunt, he takes a moment to breathe the scent of you deeply, and your face burns hotter than you thought possible.

“Intoxicating, no?” Seonghwa asks as he moves out of the younger’s way.

“Indeed,” San agrees. His lips are cold but his breath is steaming hot as he ghosts over your sensitive skin.

Not another second is wasted before he pokes his tongue out to take that first anticipated taste of you. The muscle feels scaly and clammy, precisely the way you recall Seonghwa’s tongue. It is not entirely unpleasant, however — especially when it drags upward from the bottom of your slit to fit itself snugly between your petaled lips and inside your hole. The walls of your pussy instantly clench tighter at the sensation of being filled by the inhumanly long muscle.

“How is she?” Seonghwa — who has wandered up the side of the bed to stand at your side — asks. He busies an idle hand with one of your breasts, rolling and pinching the nipple almost absentmindedly. You automatically arch into his touch, and he smirks down at you crookedly.

San has to withdraw his tongue from your insides to murmur his response, “Even sweeter than you led me to believe, hyung. This one is quite a treat indeed. A sweet little flower.”

You can’t help but feel flattered by the compliment coming from the ethereally beautiful creature tonguing you in the most intimate of places.

Seonghwa grunts in satisfaction — and perhaps also a sense of validation — at his companion’s apparent enjoyment. The accompanied pinch he gives your peaked nipple sends a twinge of pain and pleasure straight to your core, and you are sure San is aware of the increased wetness pooling into his mouth. He starts licking wide stripes along your opening; back and forth, up and down. His actions are not done with much finesse, and the slurping sounds he is creating are more than a little lewd, but he does seem to be enjoying you, and having someone eat you with such gusto is a turn on of its own.

“Is he making you feel good, my pet?” Seonghwa asks, switching his ministrations to your other breast.

You nod and moan a breathy, “Uh huh.”

San seems to gain encouragement by your answer and begins mouthing at your pussy faster. His lips sweep against yours while his tongue digs deep. His actions are undeniably pleasurable, but you soon realize it isn’t enough when your clit is being neglected.

Seonghwa senses your mild frustration and speaks up on your behalf. “San, you selfish glutton, be sure to administer to her clitoris as well.”

“Her what?”

“Do you not remember? It is the small nub at the top of the human female genitalia that gives them great pleasure.”

San pulls back to study your pussy again. He quickly finds what he is looking for and brushes his thumb against it experimentally. You gasp and writhe your hips appreciatively.

“My apologies, little flower. Is that better?” he asks you in a tone both impish and honeyed.

You nod again and squeak out a tiny: “Yes.”

He directs his next words to Seonghwa. “Are you always this attentive to your pets’ desires during your time with them, hyung?”

“Of course. This one climaxed thrice when I last visited upon her,” Seonghwa says matter-of-factly.

“Hm. Well, we can easily reach that number with the both of us here,” San says. The circular motion of his thumb does not falter while he holds the conversation. “In fact, I am certain we will. My favorite part is watching them come undone and cry out for me as though I am their savior, after all.”

“It seems you still have quite some work to do on our little pet, then,” Seonghwa spits.

San grunts at the criticism, but rather than biting back, he returns his full attention to the task of undoing you. He bends to plant a rather kittenish kiss on the hood of your newly-found clit, then latches on to suckle at it. The graze of a sharp tooth elicits a gasp from you, and a succinct shiver courses throughout your body from the danger of having his fangs in such close quarters with a sensitive place.

“Mm, do not fear, little one. I wish to unravel you, not harm you,” San purrs. “Now let me hear those lyrical sounds spill freely from your lips.”

A whine issues in your throat at his words, but it is quiet and pinched. Hardly ‘lyrical’ at all.

“If you want her to sing for you, you have to make her,” Seonghwa says, unimpressed. He removes his hand from your chest to shove the younger demon’s face tighter against your center. His fingers twist in the blond hair. You can tell the action is far from tender.

As though a whip has been cracked, San groans and redoubles his efforts to gain the noises he so craves by adding a slender finger knuckle-deep into your dripping cunt. He curls it in slow but unmistakable ‘come hither’ gestures. The scratching of his jagged fingernail along your most delicate skin should by all means be painful, but it isn’t. Not in the least.

And you are by no means complaining.

“How did you ever fit inside of her, hyung?” San asks. “She is so tight around just my finger.”

“You will learn more of her tightness yet,” promises Seonghwa.

It does not take long for a trail of fire to ignite your nerves, sending your limbs twitching with pent-up energy and rising pleasure. The embers in your blood bring forth a thin layer of sweat onto your skin. Your breath comes and goes in shallow puffs as if your lungs have suddenly lost all holding capacity. Every hot, wet lashing the unholy creature’s tongue gifts you is a step you take closer to the brink, and the brink will soon be within tumbling distance.

Seonghwa, however, seems displeased by the rate at which San is building your climax.

“Do you consider this to be ‘unraveling’ her?” he hisses, fisting his fingers even tighter against his companion’s scalp.

San whines at the physical assertion bestowed upon him, and the vibrations of his sound travel through your center, all the way to the polar ends of your toes and fingertips.

“She is so easy, yet you are having to work so hard,” Seonghwa taunts. “Do better if you wish to achieve your own release tonight.”

The blond growls in determination. His response to his elder’s words is to bring the total number of fingers in your cunt straight to three. He does not push the additional two fingers in one at a time, but rather in a single forceful thrust of his hand. A shriek escapes you at the sudden stretch to your walls, soon followed by a long, low moan at a particularly powerful swipe over your pleasure point. Both demons hum, deep and satisfied.

“She sounds as heavenly as she tastes, does she not?” Seonghwa says, seeming much more proud now.

“A perfect choice of word, hyung,” San agrees with his tongue still around your clit.

“Keep going, just as you are,” Seonghwa urges, though it seems San has no intention of doing anything to the contrary. You can’t take your eyes off the crown of his head between your legs as he licks and sucks and flicks and strokes you into a frenzy. Your fists repeatedly clench and unclench in the sheets around you as every thought in your mind concentrates on that looming ledge.

“It’s ecstasy, isn’t it?” Seonghwa whispers to you now, and you whine something incoherent in response. He cards the fingers of his other hand through your hair as well, then fists them right at the scalp with a firm tug, just as with San’s. Except instead of pushing, he pulls your head further backward on your pillow to tilt your gaze up to his. His eyes are daggers under a coat of blood. “Isn’t it?” he repeats. His voice is not particularly loud, but the power of the question reverberates against the walls all the same.

“Y-yes, it f-f-feels so good,” you whisper, not daring to break eye contact.

“Mm, yes, I know it does. San is working diligently to prepare you for me, isn’t he?”

As though to verify Seonghwa’s claim, San thrashes his face back and forth in the juncture of your thighs with animal-like fervor. Seonghwa’s arm shakes along with the motion from where he still has a grip on the demon’s scalp.

“Such a good pet. A pretty little lamb, so willingly being devoured by the ravenous wolf,” Seonghwa coos at you, syrupy-sweet. “Let yourself come undone for him, pet. Give San what he so desperately craves. Come in his mouth.”

The casual yet inherently filthy way he uses the terms ‘come’ and ‘in’ is all it takes to fling you off the ledge and into your climax with eyes shut tight and a loud cry. Every muscle in your body pulls taut as a bowstring, and San opens his mouth wider just in time to catch the gush of wetness that bursts forth. The steady rumble of his groan — along with some softer strokes to your g-spot — helps your high taper off into a shaky yet satisfying finish.

“Oh my god,” you whisper under your breath when San finally removes his fingers and lifts his face away from your quivering, sensitive core. He looks downright devilish as he tongues his inner cheek with a smug smirk and hooded eyes. He seems proud of the mess covering his chiseled chin and cheeks, and he is looking at you as though he could devour the rest of you whole.

“God? He would never give you this much pleasure, little one,” San purrs.

Seonghwa chuckles and scratches the top of San’s head, equally proud of him. You vaguely register the tickling of his fingernails on your own scalp before he pulls his hand away from you to grab San’s — the one dirtied with your juices. The raven-haired demon takes the blond’s slick fingers, brings them up to his lips, and slips them inside with slow purpose. San does not resist the intimate act. On the contrary, you can just barely see the way his wrist moves with the way he presses his fingers back and forth against Seonghwa’s reptilian tongue.

Your mouth falls open at the display of pure eroticism, but you cannot find enough humility within you to close it again — especially when San pulls his fingers back with a wet slurp and pops his thumb into Seonghwa’s mouth next, unprompted. The two hellions lock eyes until Seonghwa has apparently sucked all the remaining residue from San’s last digit.

Only when Seonghwa finally looks back to you do you snap your jaw shut. He sneers at you and drawls, “Just as I remember: sweet as nectar.”

“She has had her pleasure. I want to take mine now, hyung,” San declares. You watch him reach down to palm at his genitals, and your eyes widen at the sight of his erection standing proudly out in the open. “I need to feel her wrapped around me.”

“You will...” Seonghwa sighs. He curls a hand around the back of San’s neck in a seemingly tender gesture, then uses his other hand to shove San away with impressive force. “...but not until after I have taken my fill of her, you selfish, impatient glutton.”

San rolls his neck and peels his back off the wall, staring coldly at Seonghwa. He does not argue, however. He just wipes the rest of your wetness from his face with the back of a hand and stalks over to wait at your side.

Meanwhile, Seonghwa takes up San’s previous position at the foot of the bed, and you shift upward on the mattress to prepare for his next move. He kneels onto the bed to follow your movement, then presses a hand onto your stomach to stop you when he judges you’ve gone far enough. His touch feels solid, but the mattress does not creak under his added weight the way you know it is prone to do.

“Not another inch, pet,” he murmurs. “Stay right there, just like that.”

He pries your legs apart again, and the tip of his sizeable cock prods against your inner thigh as he situates himself. The burn of his rigid flesh feels like a brand on your skin. You hiss when he lines himself up with your pussy.

“This may be easier than last time, but still painful, despite how drenched you are,” Seonghwa warns.

You nod in understanding. When he lifts one of your legs to wrap it around his slim waist, you take in a breath and hold it.

“Exhale, child,” Seonghwa guides you as he begins to ease himself inside.

You try to let go of your breath, but the reflex to hold it to cope with the stretch of his burning shaft is too much, and you end up gasping instead.

“Relax, little lamb,” San murmurs from your side, adopting Seonghwa’s new pet name for you. He returns his hand to your shoulder and squeezes. “Hold on to Seonghwa-hyung and breathe.”

You lift your hands up at once to find purchase along Seonghwa’s wide shoulders. His skin is buttery smooth, but the muscles beneath are rock hard. You were unable to touch him like this — or at all, actually — the last time, and you find your fingers roaming greedily. It is a good distraction from the pain coming from below.

If Seonghwa is bothered by your wandering hands, he does not show or comment on it. He simply continues feeding his cock into you, inch by inch, until eventually he can go no further.

“How does she feel?” San demands to know before anyone can do or say anything else.

“Like silken bliss,” Seonghwa answers, to which you tuck your head down shyly. One of his fingers hooks under your chin to lift your face back toward him so you can see his wicked grin. “Such a shy little thing. And yet here you lie beneath me, penetrated by me, desperately wishing me to pound you into this flimsy piece of furniture.”

“Yes, yes, I can hear her wishing that very much, hyung,” San says excitedly. “Are you going to oblige her?”

Rather than verbalizing a response, Seonghwa sways his hips backwards to withdraw a portion of his girth from you, then surges forward again. You barely have time to register the sensation of the jostling motion before he repeats it with a distinctly sharper snap. The wet slapping sound of the movement is every bit as erotic as the friction being created. His length easily reaches places inside you that other lovers can only aspire to. Every ridge of his bare shaft pulses tightly against your walls, making you mewl and squirm in no time.

“Don’t tear up our pretty pet before I have had the pleasure of her,” San adds. It sounds like a warning, a tease, and a whine all at once.

“I have not even started on her yet,” grunts Seonghwa. He peels your fingers off of him, and as he moves to pin your wrists above your head in a tight grip, the weight of his solid torso settles squarely upon yours. His skin is cool to the touch at first, but soon warms as it absorbs your heat. The movement of his hips has altered from jarring snaps to a deep, continuous roll. It feels as though his cock is quite literally stirring a second orgasm within you.

All the while, the unnatural creature keeps his deep ruby eyes on yours. It seems he wants to witness the exact moment your orgasm boils over, and you are certain it will not take long. The close proximity of his beautiful, marble sculpture of a face alone is enough to set fire to both your cheeks and your loins, as well as tug the knot in your lower belly tighter.

“She enjoys this angle, hyung,” San comments. His palm manages to slide its way flat against one of your cheeks, and his cooled touch is most welcome on your sweaty, burning skin. “But I can barely touch her when you are draped over her like this.”

Seonghwa smirks and says, “We can remedy that, if you are truly so impatient to join in.”

“Please. At least allow me to touch her as much as possible while you are tearing her apart.”

“Very well, but I will not cease taking my own pleasure for a moment.”

That is the only warning you receive before Seonghwa hoists you up with him. He stands at the foot of the bed again with his cock still sheathed securely inside of you. Your arms and legs reflexively wrap around his muscular body to keep yourself from falling, but his strong hands — and whatever otherworldly force he wields, perhaps — are more than enough to keep you upright. He uses those hands and that force to set you to moving along his turgid cock.

The shift in position does nothing to lessen the depth at which his cock reaches; if anything, it feels as though he is hitting even further inside of your soaked, narrow tunnel.

After only a few bounces, you feel San’s hands press firmly against your back and push you even closer into Seonghwa. His shove also forces Seonghwa to step backwards until it is his back that meets the wall this time, along with your crossed feet on the small of it. Immediately after Seonghwa connects with the wall, San connects with you, effectively sandwiching you in the middle of this most unholy union.

Seonghwa does not stop moving you up and down his cock. He keeps the pace he has set against your g-spot evenly. A wanton moan breaks through your throat at the sensation of all the sinewy skin and rippling muscles covering you front and back. San’s erection twitches against your lower back, giving away his own excitement at the situation.

“Mm, she likes this position even more, hyung,” he purrs against the nape of your neck. His hands circle around to trap your breasts in a tight grope. He pushes them close together, pulls them apart, tweaks your pert nipples; every fondle takes away just a bit more of what little breath you have.

Eventually, San’s fondling fingers slide their way down from your breasts, across your stomach, along your hips, and finally around to your backside where they help hold what flesh of your ass Seonghwa’s hands are not already covering.

“I know, I can hear her, too,” says Seonghwa. “Her other lovers are not able to ‘fuck’ her in this fashion, so it arouses her even more. I can feel her getting even tighter around me with every stroke.”

“Even tighter, hm?” San gently nips his razor teeth into your shoulder, and you can feel his lips curl against your skin. “That is because you like being stuffed full, don’t you, little lamb? Seonghwa-hyung’s cock is filling you up so well, isn’t it?”

It is all you can do to bob your head in agreement, since it seems your voice can only be used for moaning while you are pistoning up and down Seonghwa’s cock through no effort of your own.

“Your sweet genitalia is not the only orifice that can be stuffed full,” San goes on. “I have always wondered just how tight the hole on the other side is…”

For a brief second, you fear he will attempt to shove his well-endowed member up your ass with no further warning, but his hips do not move. Instead, he takes you by the chin and turns your head until you are facing him as much as your neck will permit with the angle, then taps against your lips with one of his fingers. You grant him entrance, and he lies his finger flat against your tongue.

“Lubricate it well,” he instructs into your ear, then licks the shell of it as though to demonstrate exactly what he wants you to do.

You dutifully flick your tongue around his finger, sucking on it until all you can taste on it is your own saliva. Only then does San retract his hand to drop it down below and probe between your jiggling backside where you cannot see.

In the midst of his thrusts, Seonghwa adjusts himself to stand straighter against the wall, then uses the full grip he has on your ass to spread the cheeks further apart and allow his companion better access. You hiss in a sharp breath when San hits pay dirt directly on the ring of your smaller hole.

“Breathe, little lamb. Just as before,” he whispers next, lush lips still caressing your ear.

You slowly let go of your breath, and San begins to push his finger past your rim. The continued up and down movement of his target does not deter or hinder him from plugging your anus. He wags his spit-slick finger back and forth inside your clenched ring of muscle as he goes. The stretch of it stings, but it is not as uncomfortable as the initial pressure of Seonghwa’s cock had been a moment ago.

In fact, you have never felt more lust-frenzied, mind-hazing pleasure all at once than you do right now, with a pair of strong hands cupping your ass, your thighs wrapped around a sturdy waist, a thick cock plunging through the walls of your cunt, a silky pair of lips trailing down your neck, another cock poking into your back, and the feeling of damnation in your puckered hole. Every nerve ending you possess has been ignited to an unquenchable pyre.

“The flower between your legs is tight, pretty pet,” San breathes, “but this sphincter of yours is at least doubly so. And hotter, too. It is a shame it is not also self-lubricating.”

An ambiguous-sounding groan rumbles through you, but every fiber of your being is in agreement with his words and actions, and San knows it.

Seonghwa knows it, too. Your eyes fixate on his beautiful lips as he drawls, “Yes, you like being penetrated front and back, don’t you, pet? Speared by my cock and skewered by San’s finger simultaneously?”

At Seonghwa’s words, San drags his finger down to tease shallow circles around your opening, then wiggles all the way back in to his knuckle. “She is loving it, hyung. Just listen to her trying to form a coherent thought right now; she cannot.”

Seonghwa hums in agreement. “Yes, she is so close to unraveling again. Just a few more thrusts against this sweet spot inside of her… and a little stimulation on the nub between her soft legs…”

San brings his other hand around to take care of the latter, tickling the swollen point between your legs the way he learned earlier as best he can while you continue to jostle up and down against Seonghwa’s hip bones.

“Are you going to release soon as well, hyung?” San asks. “Are you going to fill her?”

“Mm, yes. I suspect I can time it perfectly with our pet’s release,” bets Seonghwa. “It will not be long. She has just gotten even tighter again at the thought of being filled with my seed.”

He has barely finished calling you out before your orgasm hits, and it hits you like a freight train. Your toes curl and every muscle in your body clenches as a shockwave of pleasure detonates in your core. Your holes clamp down on the cock and the finger inside of them as you let out a shriek, sinking your fingernails into Seonghwa’s broad shoulders as he brings your body to a halt at his hilt. He lets out a booming moan of his own as his cock swells even more and erupts. A copious amount of hot liquid squirts against your cervix and lines your walls. Some of it leaks down around the plug of Seonghwa’s still turgid dick from the pull of gravity.

You let out a pinched moan as your climax spikes to its peak, then fall limp as a rag doll against Seonghwa’s frame with your forehead against one of his shoulders. San does not remove his fingers from your clit until your legs begin shuddering violently from the overstimulation.

“That’s it, my pet,” Seonghwa praises at the same moment San coos, “Such a good little lamb.” Both demons caress you as you pant heavily. Seonghwa’s hands massage your butt where he is still holding you up. You had almost forgotten San’s finger was embedded in your anus until he withdraws it and rubs your shivering spine.

You lift your head off Seonghwa’s shoulder, suddenly curious to see if he is any worse for wear than you are. He has some markings of being fucked-out: some strands of his hair have fallen out of place, and his hairline is slightly sweaty, as is his neckline and the cleavage between his pectorals. But he does not appear the slightest bit breathless, even after all his exertions in giving you the ecstasy you just experienced.

While you are still coping with the sheer amount of beauty before you, you are suddenly torn off and away from Seonghwa and tossed back onto your mattress by San. He retakes his earlier position kneeling at the foot of the bed. Without physically touching you, he drags your body down the mattress until your used pussy is inches from his face, then spreads your legs wide with firm hands. You clumsily prop yourself up on your elbows, scrambling to see his next move.

“You made quite a mess of our pretty little flower, hyung,” mutters San, cocking his head as he studies your sullied and swollen cunt. He sounds far from upset over this observation, however. In fact, you might even say he looks awed by your condition.

Seonghwa steps to the side of the bed and watches on as his companion appreciates his handiwork. Wordlessly, he dips a hand in front of San’s face and drags two slender fingers along your slit, and you shiver from sensitivity.

“So I have,” Seonghwa muses, unapologetic. He lifts his fingers to examine the tips of them shimmering with a pearly mixture of your cum and his in the moonlight. When he rubs his thumb against them as though to test the consistency, you are certain you have never felt more aroused in your life.

Thankfully, you do not have to voice your most vulgar, hedonistic desire in the moment, because Seonghwa hears you loud and clear. With a lopsided grin over your shameless thoughts, he brings his sticky fingers to your already parted lips and settles them directly on your tongue.

“So foul,” San breathes, sounding more reverent than appalled as he watches you suck Seonghwa’s fingers clean of your own free will. “Our sweet lamb will be wholly corrupted yet.”

Seonghwa draws his fingers from your tongue and slowly, so slowly runs them over your lips. You try to chase and recapture them, but he grabs your chin roughly. You flick your eyes to meet his, and his bloody stare sears you, body and soul.

“Take her,” he commands in booming bass.

The younger hellion is over you at once, pinning you to the mattress and feeding his steely length into your sloppy cunt in one smooth thrust. He grunts as he makes his entrance and bottoms out within the same second.

The cum inside you has barely had a chance to cool before it begins frothing from the incessant withdrawing and plunging of the new cock assaulting you. The excess leaks down your ass crack, but any discomfort you may feel from the unpleasant stickiness is overridden by the sparks rekindling in your blood.

From the pulses coming off the veiny shaft inside you, you get the impression that San’s blood may also be boiling. The notion that his riled-up state could be caused by you and not just a primal, carnal instinct makes your core throb tighter, however far-fetched it may be.

“He enjoys you,” Seonghwa confirms for you, tracing his thumb along your jawline. “He enjoys your scent, your taste. Right now he is swearing that your cunt is the tightest he has ever felt in his long life.”

San groans in agreement. His pace momentarily stutters as he redistributes his weight over you, and you marvel for a quick second at a bulging vein in his neck when he leans closer. “How is she still this tight after taking you, hyung? The pressure is divine. It makes me all the more eager to penetrate and get a proper feel of the vise that is her other hole, but I realize now that it would be excruciating for you, little one. Your wet little cunt will have to do for now.”

You give a silent prayer of thanks for the surprising consideration for the sanctity of your asshole. San chuckles lowly when he hears it but provides no further comment.

One by one, he takes both of your hands in one of his to lift your arms up from your sides and pin them over your head exactly as Seonghwa had done earlier. Without being prompted to, Seonghwa takes that hold on your wrists out of San’s grasp and into his own, leaving San’s hands free again to prop himself up and hover above you. The fringe of his blond hair bounces to and fro with every thrust of his hips. His eyes are cast down at your heaving breasts. His perfectly pink lips glisten with a clear coating of spit applied by a swipe of his lolling tongue. A muscle near his jawline briefly pops as he concentrates on achieving the release he has patiently awaited.

You long to stare at the heavenly yet sinful feast before your eyes forever, but your eyes are gradually rolling back into your head from the onslaught of his flared cockhead against your cervix.

Suddenly, San stops his hips altogether and pulls away to straighten his back. You roll your eyes back around in time to watch your feet hike themselves up into the air and onto his shoulders by his mystical power before he leans in closely again, essentially bending you in half as his torso presses into the backs of your legs. Your muscles burn with the unaccustomed stretch, but the languid roll of his pelvis against yours is all that is important. He grinds against your clit and your g-spot simultaneously, much to your mutual pleasure.

You arch your back at an especially deep press, but Seonghwa’s grip on your wrists keeps you from going too far. You turn your head to look at him and find him looking right back at you. He cocks his head and smirks when he listens to you wonder if he is enjoying simply watching the ‘show’ without participating.

“I do enjoy watching you, pet, but fret not; I will participate again in some capacity before the night is over,” he promises.

San pays no mind to your short conversation; he continues rutting into you, but his speed is not as frenzied as his pace from just a moment ago. The angle allows him to hit your inner pleasure point with ease, however, and he is keen on hitting it with each and every plunge.

You would say it is hard to tell which of you is closer to the edge… until all of a sudden, San lets out a bellow of a moan a mere second before his cock throbs even harder and discharges a long stream of cum, then another, and another, until the heat of it can be felt down to your bones.

He continues to grunt in deep baritone as the last of his impressive release dribbles out of him and into your clenching pussy. He gives a few last shallow thrusts, and as soon as his cock withdraws, his cum — along with whatever is left of Seonghwa’s cum combined with yours — trails out of you and onto the sheets.

The blond sighs in satisfaction and slides his fingers through his hair as he pulls away. Your feet fall from his shoulders and your legs slump to the sides. San closes his eyes and bites his lip as he recollects himself; he does not seem nearly as coolly composed as Seonghwa was after his climax moments ago.

By now, you are feeling much too exhausted to care that the two creatures did not bring you to the predicted three orgasms. Your body is a little numb, your vision is slightly blurred, and it feels like there is barbed wire in your head.

“Mm, you are a revelation, little lamb,” San murmurs huskily, breaking into your thoughts. He reopens his eyes to peer down at you, and when he finds you staring back at him, he grins and licks his lips again. One of his hands comes down to cup your chin and cheeks. He tilts your head back and forth, side to side, as though determining whether or not you are the one who is truly real after all this. Then he runs his fingers down the slope of your neck, between the valley of your breasts, over your belly button, until he reaches the mess between your spread legs and stops. The sharp tips of his fingers edge around your sticky, swollen folds.

“You have sullied our flower as well, haven’t you,” Seonghwa speaks up. It is more of a statement than a question.

Without waiting for a response, he releases your wrists and glides beside San to see for himself. His eyes drop down, and for the second time tonight, both demons are staring at your bare sex — except this time, it is in a much different state; the ‘after’ depiction in a set of ‘before and after’ pictures, you imagine.

San snickers at your crazed thoughts and latches his thumb onto your clit. “You make for a pretty picture, even in this state.”

“Especially in this state,” Seonghwa emphasizes.

“Wrecked...”

“...ruined...”

“...corrupted…”

“...debauched…”

“...depraved…”

Your mind flutters between a state of conscious and unconsciousness with each blasphemous word they spit your way. Your eyes fall closed as San accelerates on your slippery bud, rebuilding the pleasure he failed to bring to fruition while inside of you. But just as he reaches a tempo that will have you cresting in no time, his thumb is replaced by a pair of lips. You cannot bring yourself to see whether they belong to San or Seonghwa; your eyelids are leaden, and so is the rest of your body.

A couple fingers enter your weakly clenching core as a wicked tongue flits intricate patterns onto your clit. Hands roam along your thighs and hips; one of them reaches up to contour around your throat.

“Let go for us, pretty pet,” purrs San. His voice sounds faint and distorted, like your ears have been submerged in water, but you recognize that it comes from above you, not between you. “Let it all go...”

He sweeps that sweet spot at your center, and Seonghwa gives you one last suck to pull you over into the abyss. If you had any control of your limbs, you would clench your fingers in the sheets and curl your toes again, but you don’t. You can’t. You remain stiff as a board as a final row of pleasure washes over you. A moan swells in your throat beneath the fingers around it when it cannot pass your clamped lips.

Your mind is much nearer to the side of oblivion than wakefulness when you vaguely hear San ask, “Is there any hope left for her soul, hyung?”

The mouth leaves your quivering pussy with a parting kiss.

“For this one?” Seonghwa whispers with a light smack of his lips. “No, I am afraid she is beyond redemption.”

---

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copyright © 2023 by daizymax. all rights reserved. part one | back to masterlist

[sunflowerseedsandscience]

Various Storms and Saints- Prologue

"You still haven't told me if he's cute or not."

Scully sighed and pressed the heels of her hands against her forehead, cradling the phone in the crook of her neck. Nobody could make her regret bringing up a subject as quickly as her sister when she put her mind to it. "No, Missy, I haven't," she allowed. "Because it's irrelevant. Mulder's good looks aren't the reason I miss working with him."

"So you admit it? He is cute?"

"Missy. Can we please have a serious conversation, for once?"

"Fine, fine," Melissa acquiesced, though her tone made it clear this point would be revisited in the future. "Tell me why you miss working with him, then."

"Well... part of it is the cases we tackled together," Scully said. "The autopsies I'm stuck doing now that the X-Files are shut down seem so boring in comparison to murderous clones and mind-controlling worms in the Arctic."

Melissa whistled. "Yeah, I can see how that might be a little bit of a come down. What's the other part?"

"What other part?"

"You said the cases are part of the reason. So what's the other part?"

Scully closed her eyes. How to define this most indefinable of relationships, especially to Melissa, who so often seemed to think every person in her life fit into a neat box? "I miss the way he spoke to me," she said finally. "He never talked down to me, not even when he was standing so close I practically had to break my neck to meet his eyes. He made me feel like the things I have to say are important... that they carried real weight with him, even when he didn't agree with me." She chuckled ruefully. "Which was most of the time. He's always shown me a respect that I don't get that often, being surrounded by men in positions of authority who all love to hear themselves talk."

"That does sound like it would be tough to leave behind," agreed Melissa. "Couldn't you... I dunno, lobby to be his partner on whatever assignment he's on now, though? Then at least you'd still be working together even if it wasn't in the X-Files."

"He's working with someone else," said Scully darkly. "At least he was on his most recent case. I don't know if they're officially partners or not."

"And you don't like whoever it is," said Melissa knowingly. "I can hear it in your voice." "I don't really know anything about him," Scully admitted. "But... there's something strange about him, you know? He just makes me nervous." There had been something about Alex Krycek's fresh-faced innocence that had seemed less than genuine, even if Scully couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Bad vibes, huh?"

"Maybe." Scully sighed. "For all I know, it's just my jealousy getting in the way because I want to be the one out there with Mulder."

"See, I knew you liked him," crowed Melissa, and Scully groaned, exasperated.

"Melissa. It's not like that."

"Fine, fine, whatever you say," Melissa huffed. "Hang on a sec, okay?" The phone was muffled, as though Melissa had put her hand over the receiver. Someone's voice asked a garbled question, Melissa gave an equally garbled response, and a moment later, she was back. "Hey Danes, I gotta go, okay?"

"Wait, Melissa, what's your--"

"There's a meditation session I'm supposed to lead and they're waiting for me. I'll call you soon, okay?"

"But Melissa, where are--" There was a click, and the line went dead.

Scully dropped her bedroom extension back into its cradle on the nightstand and sank back onto her bed with a sigh, snuggling into the cardigan she'd pulled on over her work clothes when she'd walked into her apartment. She'd come home from work for lunch, having finished her morning teaching session a little early, and had been available purely by chance when Melissa called for the first time in two months. Phone conversations with her older sister, while always welcome, tended to be exhausting these days. She hadn't seen Melissa in years, not since the day after her graduation from medical school. Melissa hadn't made it to the event itself, but she'd shown up at the party her parents had thrown her afterwards. Melissa hadn't understood her sister's disappointment, and Maggie Scully, as she so often did, had defended her elder daughter to her younger.

"You know big ceremonies aren't really your sister's thing, Dana," she'd said, patting Scully's shoulder consolingly. "She barely sat through her own high school graduation. Just be thankful she's here for the celebration, all right?"

Sitting through a graduation ceremony was boring, to be sure, but that hadn't stopped Scully from doing it for all three of her siblings when they'd finished high school, plus for Bill and Charlie when they'd finished college. In her opinion, it had nothing to do with how exciting or boring the ceremony itself was, and everything to do with showing up for the people she loved when their hard work and accomplishments were recognized.

Showing up. That was something Melissa had traditionally had difficulty with, when it came down to it.

They hadn't even had a working phone number for Melissa last Christmas when Ahab had passed. Scully, tasked with handling everything while her mother waded through her initial shock and grief, had called every friend of Melissa's she could think of, trying to locate her sister, and had failed. She'd been reduced to sending a letter to Melissa's last known address in hopes it might get correctly forwarded. But it never got to her, as was evidenced three months later when Melissa had called home, chatted with Maggie cheerfully about her recent travels, and then had asked to speak to her father and had been completely lost when her mother had burst into tears.

"Free-spirited" had always been how the family had described Melissa. But deep down, in her darkest and most shameful thoughts, the word Scully sometimes landed on was "selfish."

Scully's cell phone rang, startling her out of her reverie. She half-expected it to be Mulder, begging her to do another autopsy he couldn't trust with anyone else, but it was Roy Seekamp, a fellow FBI pathologist whose office in the Hoover building was next to Scully's.

"Where are you?" asked Roy. "One of the AD's came looking for you but your office is locked. Skinner, I think his name was?"

"I came home for lunch. What's going on?"

"Something big is going down in Virginia," said Roy. "Some hostage situation with an escaped mental patient."

Scully frowned, confused. "Why would they need me for that?" she asked.

"I don't think they actually need you or anything," said Roy. "The AD was just looking for you to let you know your old partner is there on the scene."

Scully's heart skipped a beat. "Mulder is there?" She got off the bed and raced out of her bedroom, tearing off the cardigan and snatching up her bag. "What's he doing there? He's not a hostage negotiator!"

"No idea," said Roy. "I think AD Skinner just wanted you to hear it from him. You coming back to the office?"

"Yes," Scully said, pulling on her shoes. "Be there soon." She ended the call and stuffed her phone into her bag, then looked down and realized she was still clutching her cardigan. She folded it in half and draped it over the back of her couch on her way out the door.

It stayed there, untouched, for over a month.

[randomdragonfires]

it's me, hi!

Hello everyone! it's me - randomdragonfires/sam and this is my new blog!

This is a note for anyone who remembers me - hello, I'm back here, I suppose! First off, I'm going to say this: I'm genuinely sorry to those whom I worried while I took off without saying a word. I was gone a whole month and I left no way to be contacted. I can understand how that could worry those of you who cared, and I should have acted better.

I left for a bit simply because I needed to catch a breath. Writing started to seem a bit like a chore, and there was too much about the fandom that made me sad, frustrated, angry and petty each time I opened my feed. I was not writing and I was not a happy participant - there was very little reason for me to stay and make myself miserable, when I could have been clearing my head, giving myself space and falling in love with writing for fandom all over again.

Which is what I've been doing in the past month.

Deleting my tumblr and discord was not a decision I made impulsively. I had been considering it for weeks, and I am glad I did. Now, after a clean long break, I've come back with a much more healthier relationship with this blog and the fandom, and I'm genuinely in a better space. I look forward to writing and posting here again too.

I've missed it so much more than you know.

that's great, Sam! so, how have you been?

It's good. It's bumpy and weird, but things are good. I hope they've been good for you guys too. <3

If this is your next question, then here it is!

I've been very busy. I work a 9-6 job as a creative writer 6 days a week and I also study for my executive masters program (in journalism and PR, if you're wondering) when I'm not working. I'm involved in a few freelance projects and when I'm not doing any of this, I prefer to read or sleep or go on fast hour-long walks; simply because it all keeps me away from my electronics. I'm constantly drained creatively, and it sucks - but I'm also engaged 24x7, learning something new and doing productive things.

will you be writing again?

If this is something that you're wondering about, then yes. I do plan on writing. I am starting a series that I am trying to pour my entire soul into - but it is going slowly. Like I mentioned, I have a tight schedule and it keeps me busy every second of the day, so I write when I can.

I plan on announcing my new series with a story masterpost anytime now. If you're interested, perhaps you should keep an eye on this space!

I will also be reuploading a selected collection of some of my work from my old blog - so if you'd like to give those a revisit, then feel free to!

that's it from me!

I'm happy to be back in the thick of things, and I hope that, to some extent, you're glad to see me back too. I'm here to be a positive, non-problematic presence that writes good fic, supports other artists, and is happy about it. Negativity in excess had me step away once, and I hope I'll never have to do that again.

Let's all be kinder, or at least try. :)

[kiwipineappleparasol]

Part One of Sonic Scribbles from The Past Months .

This was at first me just Revisiting an Old Fixation from Memory, and coming up with an AU and Designs for it where I Throw all the Characters and Storylines I enjoyed as a Kid into the Stirring Pot. Perhaps I will Divulge more into my Ideas Another Time. (As a Sidenote, I Haven't engaged Too Much with all of the Recent Stuff so that's not really Considered here.)

I don't have a Problem with most of the characters Original designs here, I just Wanted to make my own changes For Fun (Plus, I changed most of these Later On but We'll get to that Another Time) I did want to try to Undo the "Girls Must Have Full Outfits" rule When I did these however, Just Because

Notes and Extra Scribbles Under the Cut

Silver, Shard, Sally and Nicole are All from the future in which the world has been Metaphorically Shredded in a Blender .

Blaze is solely from her own dimension; No Sonic 06 Nonsense (or at least, if she Ends up in the Future it's clear she's Not from there . Probably brings Marine Along for the ride in That Case)

Knuckles is too busy doing his Silly Job to be the third member of the Hero Team, so Amy fills the Role sometimes.

Rouge is a Thief and a Freelance spy . With a long track record of Backstabbing .

Silver thinks his powers are a Curse after he accidentally threw a Semi-truck on an innocent civilian Once.

An Astute Sonic Fan might Notice what I based my Eclipse design off of . (Also yes I am an Eclipse Fan I love Shadow's Alien Brother who is a Single Father)

Tried to make Maria look more "Robotnik" Like

Jet serves the role of Sonic's Consistent yet Pathetic "Rival" (Nuisance) who will get into Competitions with him over Petty Bullshit

The Extra Scribbles:

Don't worry If you can't Read my Handwriting . Neither can I .