Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Bleach (Anime & Manga)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Pre-Kurosaki Ichigo/Urahara Kisuke, Kurosaki Ichigo & Urahara Kisuke, Shihouin Yoruichi & Urahara Kisuke & Kurosaki Ichigo
Characters: Kurosaki Ichigo, Urahara Kisuke, Shiba Kaien, Yamada Hanatarou
Additional Tags: Time Travel, Dimension Travel, Crack, this is all crack, phone fic, Animal Transformation, I have not checked the following:, The timeline probability of this happening, Where on earth/what on earth Kisuke would likely being doing at this time in the canon timeline, Bemused and Amused Ichigo who is Rolling with the Punches, Abuse of Schrodinger's Cat Concept, no beta we die like Ichigo doesn't
Summary:
Somewhere, millions of psychology and physics students and professors and researchers and doctorates are screaming, “That’s not how that even works!” But Kurosaki Ichigo has always been bad about following rules relating to probability, so really, it shouldn’t be that odd that he’s decided to turn this concept inside out and marmalade it.
UraIchi Week 2023: Day 1, Time Travel AU/Dimension Travel AU
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After I finish my current fic, I want to write a glassheart marriage of convenience fic (either a long multichapter or interlinked one shots in a series) based on an initial miscommunication.
Now hear me out...!
(I'm so sorry for how long this post is, but I NEED to mind splurge about these two)
In this fics timeline, Wonderland had agreed to unite with the other Kingdoms to form what Auradon is today, BUT only on the condition that they get seperate terms for their union (meaning the Queen of Hearts can still rule over her Kingdom - but when it comes to political decisions, the rest of Auradon act as council).
Now we have the basics settled, let's get to Red and Chloe! The two have known of each other for pretty much all their lives. They see glances of each other as they wait for their parents to finish their political meetings and they see each other from across ballrooms. But they don't start their friendship until around eight years old.
Picture this: Red has spent the majority of her childhood in etiquette classes and tutoring sessions to prepare her for her rule over Wonderland, which means she is constantly hyperaware of her image in others minds, especially her mothers. So, when she's talking to the son of a diplomat her mother wants to get closer to, she's silently horrified when he spills his drink on her dress. It's a bad stain. A very, very obvious one that would ruin the perfect image she needs to maintain. So what little Red ends up doing in a panic is hiding under a desserts table, hoping to wait until the ball ends to slip out to her carriage inconspicuously.
But guess what? She's not the only one under that table because to her right is a princess her age, with her face covered in cupcake frosting. That's right, little Chloe is hiding from having to talk to anyone in favour of hoarding as many desserts as possible.
It's awkward at first. Red doesn't know what to do, but her worries smoothen out a little as Chloe offers her a cupcake. Because, wow, Chloe has never seen someone look so worried at a ball before. Sweet treats are the best way to fix this issue, obviously. Red hesitantly accepts Chloes offering, and she forces a smile as she listens to Chloe talk and talk for the rest of the ball.
After the event ends, Red doesn't give it too much thought, she's too busy trying her best to be an exemplar crown princess, thank you very much. But things will take a turn in her life once she's handed a letter by her mother (sent to their castle, addressed to Red, with the Charming family seal closing the envelope). A letter from one Chloe Charming, written in glitter pen and littered with stickers.
Turns out that night alone was enough to place her on Chloes radar for who she wanted to befriend in the royal circles. To say the Queen of Hearts is happy to have more influence on other royal families through Red is an understatement. So, Red is tasked with getting close to Chloe to gain more allies/political sway early on, it's for the good of their kingdom after all.
Still living under her mothers thumb, Red obeys. But what she didn't expect was to end up enjoying the other princesses company, and soon enough her and Chloe are genuine friends; writing to each other every other day, seeking each other out in balls, slipping away together to explore.
This is when Red starts to shift out of her perfect persona. To lean into the rebellion and the longing to act as herself, and when she's with Chloe, it seems a little easier. And soon enough, they have years of friendship behind them.
Now. We can't forget the fact that no matter how rebellious Red may become, the Queen of Hearts will always try to shift her back into an ideal ruler of her perfect vision. And so Red starts being brought to council meetings at fourteen. And oh my god. This is much more different than her lessons growing up, and she's terrible at her diplomatic responsibilities. But you know who seems to take to these things like a fish to water? As it turns out, Chloe is amazing at this stuff. So before and after every single meeting, Red has Chloe helping her (and soon enough, Red starts to improve her approaches).
They spend four years in this partnership, and it ends up being beneficial to both sides because the crown prince of Cinderellasburg, Chad, is no longer with his title to the throne due to the decision to marry into the Rose royal family and become King Consort to Audrey Rose. This means that Chloe is now entitled to the throne as the crown princess of Cinderellasburg.
Both girls are ecstatic, of course - they can rule side by side with their Kingdoms as allies!
But it seems that they may have gotten their hopes up. Because the Queen of Hearts has been getting more and more suspicious of other Kingdoms, and starts placing even heavier taxes on Wonderlands finite resources (causing arguments between diplomats), and just as Red is blowing out the candles of her eighteenth birthday cake, she is informed by her mother that at the next Grand Union Ball (hosted annually to celebrate the union of all kingdoms in Auradon) Wonderland intends to announce that they are going to close their borders for good.
Intensely against this, Red does everything in her power to reverse her mothers decision. But her pleads fall on deaf ears, and soon enough, she's tearfully writing to Chloe about what is to come. And Chloe... She doesn't respond.
It's a whole month before the dreaded ball and Red's letters are going unanswered, and soon enough the date arrives. The Queen of Hearts and Red arrive to the ball, with the knowledge that the announcement shall be made as a closing speech to end the night, and all Red wants to do is run away. But then Chloe finds her, whisking Red away to an isolated balcony.
Their reunion doesn't go well at first, Chloe's still panicked at the idea of losing Red for good and Red wonders why Chloe had stopped responding to her letters. But soon enough, stuttered apologies are made, and Chloe looks ready to faint with what she's about to do. Because she ends up getting down on one knee, presenting Red with a ring she had commissioned to be made exactly a month ago, and is asking Red to marry her.
Red's taken aback. She's speechless with the impulse to jump off the very balcony they're standing on. This is the kind of scenario she's dreamed up in her head. Because she's been in love with Chloe since they were fourteen, and she knows goddamn well that the girl of her dreams has never seen her as anything but platonic. Surely she would have noticed? But that doesn't change the fact that she's looking down at one of Auradons' most eligible bachelorettes, her best friend, practically pleading for her to become her wife.
But it's too good to be true. It has to be?
But before Red can say no and ask what on earth is going on, Chloe starts nervously rambling, as she is prone to do. She tries to explain her actions to the best of her abilities: she had panicked and takes full accountability that in her process to think of a solution, she shouldn't have pushed away Red. But you see, she cares for Red. So, so much. A painful amount in fact. So losing her is just out of the question, as she is simply in love with her, and has been for such a long time (but it took the thought of losing her for Chloe to properly realise it). So here she is asking for her best friends hand in marriage with the full intention of wooing her properly once they're married. Because once they're wife and wife, the Queen of Hearts can't shut the borders of Wonderland if her only heir is residing in Cinderellasburg. Chloe's parents are getting older and they plan to abdicate very soon, so with Chloe on the throne and Red as her Queen Consort (Since the Queen of Hearts is NOT planning to give up her crown anytime soon), they'd have control over improving their Kingdoms to be fair and just like they had described to each other as kids (especially given the fact that their union would prompt more peace talks and trade deals).
Too bad that when Chloe rambles, she mixes up words and sometimes doesn't phrase things the best. Because Red has fully clocked the idea that Chloe wants them to be wives in title only, and they would remain married (as friends) up until they could find a solution against her mothers desire to close off The Rabbit Hole to Wonderland.
So with a heavy heart, she accepts, and the next thing she knows she has an engagement ring on her finger and Chloe is delightedly claiming the first speech of the ball (buzzing from the fact that she thinks her and Red are on the same page about their feelings for one another). The announcement prompts a bit of chaos (especially with the Queen of Heart's fuming that her plans can no longer be put into action with this development, and with King Charming and Queen Ella absolutely gobsmacked that their daughter had not told them that she was seeing Red, let alone planning to marry her) before congratulations are given out.
~Cue a time skip, though I would obviously write a chapter dedicated to the Wedding itself, obviously~
(Now, for the rest of the fic...!)
They're newly weds and settling into their new roles as queen's, and once they get their bearings on their shared new normal, the chaos begins.
Because Red is having to internally scream every other hour, because if Chloe was a good friend to her before, then she was working overtime to be an even better wife. But she has to keep reminding herself that it's all platonic and to maintain appearances (it has to be, right?).
And even though Red has been friends with Chloe for a decade, she's still a girl who has spent her life cooped up in Wonderland. So obviously, when Chloe spares no expense spoiling her on 'dates', she's just reading too much into some strange Auradonian customs. And, obviously, when Chloe kisses her like it's the last thing she'll ever do in life, that's to keep up their appearance as happily wedded wives (and even when their trysts are purely private, it's actually method acting, because obviously they can't risk their facade being found out).
'Because how could Chloe ever want her as something more than a friend after all?'
Meanwhile, Chloe is absolutely buzzing with the fact that she gets to be with Red. Yes, their start may be unconventional, but it'll work out because it's them. Chloe and Red. Red and Chloe. They're a package deal, and she's made sure all the world knows now she has Red with her wedding band secured on her ring finger.
They're doing good, at least that's what Chloe thinks. But when they get a few months into their marriage, Red properly starts working hard to see how she can bind Wonderland to the same conditions as the rest of the Kingdoms in Auradon as she would hate to see her people ostracised from the other Kingdoms on behalf of her mother. Chloe obviously does her best to help, but on a day that they are constructing a plausible solution, she pauses in horror as Red mentions them divorcing once Wonderlands business is all settled. And the worst part? It was mentioned so causally. In the same tone Red had used to comment on the new floral arrangements in their bedroom that very morning.
'What happened? Did she do something wrong? Where did this come from?'
Chloe's mind is whirling with questions, meanwhile Red is looking at her like she's grown a second head with the reaction she's given, 'because wasn't this their original plan all along?'
...And with that, the fic continues trying to deal with them getting to the bottom of their miscommunication and *fingers crossed* properly starting to see each other, with the clear message that, yes, they are sickeningly in love and locked in for life. Thank you for reading my 1AM brain splurge! :D
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