#I rlly need to take a break from coloring to get back to work on some art I owe ahhhh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

grapejuicestyless · 7 months

Note

i’m rlly sad summers gone but like I have a winter request for conrad so we good !!

fem reader (conklinnn ofc) and conrad used to date but then had a messy breakup so now everyone is in college and yn doesn’t have anywhere to go because everyone is off doing something for winter break so she takes stevens car and drives down to the summer house and conrad shows up a day later and she’s freaking out. They both stay there the whole week and romantic feelings and nostalgia builds up again 🤌🏻

you can add some of your own stuff too because your soooo creative and your work is golden!! thank you:)

Peace.

Conrad Fisher x fem!reader

Angst to fluff!

Summery: After a hard loss, both in a relationship and with the severing of the ties of her past, Y/n must learn to let go in order to gain what she so desperate wants back.

Snowfall is always overlooked. People see it as more of an inconvenience than as a gift. Each little white flake falling from the sky seems like nothing more than a mushy ball of frozen water made to block the roads and keep kids out of school, but the closer you look the more complex they are.

What was once so horrible becomes something beautiful, something unique. There is no other thing like it, each flake is different even by one branch in the pattern. It’s sad how many people are so quick to dismiss it and pout out their windows. White was never their favorite color and the cold was never their favorite temperature.

At this time of year, I usually considered myself lucky. I had a family who cherished each snowfall and a mother who would have hot-coco ready on the table for when our red cheeks and icy hair would become too much and we would finally come back inside to melt and warm up again. Each winter break my younger siblings, Steven and Belly would be attached at my hip. Having an older sister who only grew more and more, our time together always felt limited. So we spent each day in the living room. Playing the Wii with Steven and Barbies with Belly. I would read with my mom and cook with my dad. It was all so perfect. My favorite time of the year.

I used to joke with Conrad that college didn’t hold the same amount of excitement around the season because people were just as bitter and cold all year round. I called him cold hearted too because he thought it was funny. He laughed and kissed me then. I wonder if he would laugh now. Even if we no longer shared a stocking and cozied up by the fireplace impossibly close declaring our quiet loves for each other. I wonder if he still thinks fondly of the winter like I do now that it’s tainted with old memories of us.

Usually, during the winter I would drive down to Boston. It took some convincing for Laurel to allow her daughter to drive so far in such intense weather, but she knew where my heart belonged. It was the holidays and she was just as jolly as the rest of us, so she would always agree. There, I would bring gifts for all the Fishers. I didn’t have enough money to afford gifts and college, so everything was homemade. Every year I would apologize, but Susannah and Conrad always claimed to love it. Jeremiah wouldn’t say anything, but the smile on his face was always genuinely happy, so I think he liked them just as much.

Conrad would take my mitten clad hands after. Even covered in thick wool he managed to clasp his hands fully around mine, eager to get me alone. We’d slip away into his room, my cheeks red and eyelashes covered in snowflakes and his eyes wide and smile full. Behind closed doors, we could be as affectionate as we wanted without gags of jealousy disguised as disgust from Jeremiah or swooning from Susannah over how cozy we looked.

I remember how I believed my hips were made with dips so his hands could fit perfectly in them. How his arm rested on my waist so tight, I didn’t need a blanket because he kept me warm. No fireplace or layers of coats could light the flames in my heart and keep me warm in the coldest winters like Conrad could.

He said summer was his favorite season when he met me, but now he favored winter because it reminded him of me. I asked what would happen if something were to happen to us, just to tease him then. He got serious, I still remember the look on his face when he told me I would always be his favorite thing. How winter would forever remind him of me and no matter what, nothing could change that fact.

It was our own little secret oasis. A utopia of our own confined within the four walls of his childhood bedroom. When it snowed, we’d play in the snow like children and when it stormed we’d make forts to watch our favorite winter movies. It was a dream I never wanted to end, I was foolish to think it wouldn’t.

By spring, it felt like he was tired of me, of who I was. No amount of effort could keep Conrad beside me. I became someone he wasted his time on rather than someone he begged to be around. My skin was like fire to his touch, his eyes avoidant. It all came to a head when I broke down in late May.

“Why, why am I not enough?” I begged him then, I wanted to know what my problem was. Why I couldn’t be more than what I was now. Why we couldn’t go back.

He shrugged his shoulders, looking past my left shoulder. He looked distant. He knew it just as well as I did, we were walking on eggshells.

“Because you’re just not.” His words were bitter, knives stabbing me through the heart and ripping out. There was no reason, he didn’t even try to make the gashes in my heart better.

“Bullshit. I do everything for you! I give you everything!” It came out more as a question than a statement. I wasn’t as sure about what I once believed so firmly now that Conrad was showing how he felt.

“I guess it wasn’t enough then.” His eyes were watering. We were already talking in the past tense, we were over. He didn’t have to say it, neither did I. It was as clear as the freckles on his face, there was no amount of mending that could pull us back together.

In my mind I could only remember those final words we spoke to each other. The first hour of our long argument was washed from my mind for my own sake. What should’ve been tattooed permanently in my brain was gone the second we were over. Maybe if I could remember it fully, each insult and every word he used to put me down and make me feel small, I would’ve been able to feel justified in my anger. I could talk shit with my friends, shit on him to my mother. But even in my heartache, I couldn’t find reasons to be mad at him.

Conrad always went through so much on his own. It would be selfish of me to believe that he was completely okay when things ended. It was messy and sudden the way it happened. He was the biggest dick to me, but I couldn’t blame him for what he did. Not then, not now. Part of me still loved him. Part of me would still die for him in secret. He was my first love, all I knew when it came to my feelings. I let him rule my heart, my decisions. I didn’t show up to Cousins that summer.

Now that it was over, no ties binding us together, no overbearing reason to drive down to Boston for the weeks leading up to the holidays where we’d all finally be together again, I have no where to go. Steven was old enough to be on his own now, a freshman at Princeton. One of his rich friends had dropped by within the first twenty four hours to drag him off to his families vacation home. I hadn’t even set up the Wii yet. Belly, my littlest sibling who I adored more than anyone else I knew was more distant than Steven. The stress of deciding between Finch and Jeremiah or some state school with the guarantee of being on volleyball was eating her alive. Back then, I would’ve told her not to lose sight of her dreams and life because of some boy, but here I was doing the same thing. I stayed quiet and let her decide what she wanted.

My mom was gone just like Steven. Away to talk about her book with other critically acclaimed writers and producers. My dad was out of the picture. He wouldn’t be back until Christmas morning. He was never really present after the divorce, but he’s a good man and he tries his best. He just works a lot. It hurts to not be able to enjoy the holidays like I used to, but I can respect why everyone’s away.

Somehow, I end up in Stevens drivers seat. I’ve never had a car of my own. While Steven spent weeks searching the internet for a cheep car, I spent my time studying for finals and applying to colleges. I never had the time. He gave me his keys before he left. He said I could take his car anywhere I wanted as long as I didn’t ruin it. Each dent in it, I would owe him ten bucks. It wasn’t much, but to a struggling college student, ten dollars in my bank account might as well have been him asking for hundreds.

“Belly, I’m heading out. Call me if you need me, okay? I might not be back for awhile.” The words I chose were ominous. I didn’t tell her where I was going, why I was going or how long I’d be exactly, but she didn’t care enough to ask. So I climbed into Stevens car and let my playlist shuffle. I imagine myself in the situations my favorite artists write about and sing along like I can relate to their upper class parties and juvenile activities. It keeps my mind off of where I’m going.

It’s not like I got in the car set on heading to the one place that once swore to never step foot near again, but when I recognize the signs on the highway pointing me in the same direction, I’m suddenly set on it.

The sting of the breakup lingered like a tattooed kiss, a reminder of something so special that was now gone. I wouldn’t let him ruin the place that was once so special to our families.

Pulling up to that driveway, I remember how the weeds would grow over the gravel by July and how Steven and Jeremiah would stay out for hours plucking at them to make Susannah happy. How the grass held the imprints of our small bodies rolling around the hills and daffodils. The sand was forever glued into the fabric of our favorite t-shirts and the salt air is what we smelled of until December washed it away.

We were always so close here. Despite the rifts and the problems that happened between us. Not blow out fight or silent treatment could ever separate the Conklin’s and the Fishers from each other for long.

I looked back on how I felt at home. How together was something that I never even questioned. Steven would be by the fireplace yelling at the television and Belly would be begging him to quiet down. Laurel would be curled up in the corner scribbling things into a notepad and dad would try to sneakily move the elf on the shelf.

We were older now. The wii wasn’t all that special and Belly longed for the chaos she once hated. Steven preferred his friends and mom and dad fell out of love so mom could learn to love her work more.

I pulled into the large house through the garage. I knew the code by heart, it was my phone passcode. I figured that if I wanted to stay attached to homeliness so badly I could be where I learned what love was the best.

In my head, even now I always believed that no matter how long it would go untouched, the summer home would always be bright and warm. Smelling of Susannah’s candles and Belly’s sticky iced teas.

Stepping through the front door, it was dark and cold. My breath was less visible than in the outside, but the light and heat didn’t bounce from wall to wall like it always did.

It took me a few minutes to find the correct switch to turn up the heat. I cranked it until my socks burned on my feet and a sweat covered the top of my forehead. It was comfortable, I could sink into my own chunky sweater.

It was my mothers, the blue and white striped sweater I wore. She was gifted it by Susannah in their late college years but it never quiet fit her because she was so short. It fit big, but it didn’t sag at my knees or gather at my wrists as much. It smelled like my mom and reminded me of Pennsylvania skies.

The warmth from the heat and the comfort from my clothes set me in a slump, my eyes drooped. I hadn’t even turned on any lights yet, hadn’t gone up to my room to make the bed. I was sat in place on the permanently indented couch. Though my body curled into the spot where I always laid during movie nights, my head fell where Conrad’s lap would’ve been. To imagine we were all just as happy, as close made me feel fuzzy. If I tried hard enough I could even hear his voice. Calling for me, like a dream.

The sun peaked through the windows and the dust that collected on the once neatly kept glass projected tiny shadows and spots across the hardwood floor. The couch was warm with my body heat and other than the faint whisper of the wind, it was peaceful.

A melodic whistle blowed through the open gap between the living room and the kitchen. It was smooth yet broke when the song grew too high for the deeper voice that carried the tune.

Rubbing at my eyes, my feet swung out from under my thighs, I wiped away any drool or signs of slumber. Still, clearing my complexion did not rid my body of the tired achey feeling and the small blurring of my vision. My brain was following behind my body, every caution sign to who was here at this time thrown to the wind.

Mugs clanked together clumsily, my nose burned with the strong scent of coffee beans. It was chillier in the morning here than how I had left it at night, I could feel the tip of my nose turning red and growing colder.

A taller boy stood hunched over the countertops, a spoon clinking around softly as he stirred around something in the mug. His shirt hung loose on his body but his pants fit just right.

His hair was wavy, but only just at the ends. Under the strong smells of early morning caffeine, I could faintly still pick up the scent of sea salt and a spice I couldn’t name. It was vanilla like but also had a lingering smell of oak and woods. It was my favorite smell.

“Conrad..?” It clicked in my brain that the handsome boy hanging around the summer home wasn’t some pick me up sent from heaven. The reason behind my instant admiration for such a simple, domestic task was because of how well I knew and once loved the boy. The name fell from my lips quietly, like I couldn’t believe it was true.

Spinning around, I met his blue eyes. I watched his lips twitch, fighting against some kind of emotion from spreading across his face and the light in his eyes falter. He looked blank, unaware of how his lack of enthusiasm of our reuniting was crushing me inside.

“Figured you’d want coffee.” He was right. He still knew me like the back of his own hand and that was the worst part. I hadn’t changed, I never would. He would always know me and it hurt to know I trusted him like that at one point just for him to leave. He even made it in my favorite mug.

A light blue ceramic mug that still had Belly and Conrad’s fingerprints in the clay and visible brush strokes across the top. They made it for me when we were still little. It was my favorite gift from her because they made it as an apology. For breaking my old vase I made for my mom in art class. They meant to harm and felt horrible, I cherished their kindness more than anything.

“No…no. I’m all set.” Crossing my arms and clearing my throat, I set my eyes on the ground and leaned against the doorframe on the wall. We didn’t speak after that, he didn’t move. Sucking in his lips, I heard him sigh almost disappointedly.

“So…” He tried to start, I was too scared to listen. Not of him, god I could never be scared of him. But of what he could want to say.

My eyes flicked over the dents in the floor, I discovered marks I hadn’t seen before. Just when I thought I had everything memorized. When I thought I knew everything, when I thought I knew him.

“You know, uhm…I think I’m going to settle in.” Nodding at him quickly, I all but ran to the stairs. My hands gripped at the banister so quickly, I felt skin pull skin. It tore just under my fingers beginning, the top of my palm. I swore I heard him call after me, but maybe it was the ringing in my ears.

I came here to get away. In search of some solace, I grasped at the tattered strands of my childhood to find that I had held on too long. In my own journey, by some sort of fate, I dragged along a deeper part of those memories with me.

I spent that morning stowed away in my bedroom. I left the door ajar. The air was chilly still, and the air dusty. The heat had rarely been used. Only on the rare occasions in which Susannah would find reason to escape down to the beautiful town of Cousins. Simply to watch the early snowfalls or sparkling lights decorating the center of the town. Usually when I would get settled into my own room in the summer home, each knickknack would be thrown carelessly over the bureau top and shoved in the forever empty bedside table drawers. I would procrastinate making my bed last. I hated the damned fitted sheets and the wrinkles I couldn’t flatten for days. I hated the way that the corners never stayed. My body stretched as far as it would go, yet I could never quiet hook the fabric far enough to keep it settled.

Today was no different. My blood boiled the same, but it mixed with an unfamiliar warmth. How endearing it was to be able to relive such a memorable moment of my summers again even after tragedy struck the once uniting household.

“Fuck.” The sheets flipped up. The full sized mattress was far too wide to allow my arms to stretch across the full width of its body and hook the corners over far enough to where they wouldn’t slip. Each move resulted in a different kind of release with the bedsheets. Each time I ended up wrapped up in the thin cotton sheets.

The clock ticking on my bedside table taunts me. Reminds me of how long I’ve been tangled around in my bed. If it weren’t so humiliating, I would’ve asked for help. But I created a mess. My feelings, one’s that Conrad had so clearly buried as he was able to be kind and cordial towards me while I panicked like a fish out of water. So I hop around from corner to corner desperate to finish my task.

“Y/n?” The name burns the way it rolls off of his tongue. Like even with me gone, he had practiced pronouncing it in the mirror, whispered it to himself each night. It was like we’d seen each other the day before, the way it came out. Breathless and light.

The moon hung over the house, illuminating thin strips of shine through the windows that led from the floor to the very bed I was sprawled across.

Sighing heavily, I threw my head back. Hair fell in front of my face, tickling the bridge of my nose. I saw Conrad hesitate. His hand flinched out from where it was tucked behind the doorframe. He set it on the white wood frame.

“Can I help?” It was innocent enough. Maybe he was sick of the sound of my knees rubbing against the mattress. Or the way I grunted every few minutes. I stumbled around my room all day fixing it up, I almost forgot how loud it could’ve been.

It felt sour to accept it. Even if it were as innocent and kind as it seemed. Conrad had a glimmer of hope in his eye and his lips upturned. He looked so handsome still, nose pinker from the slight chill and eyes still just as deep blue.

“No thank you.” I huffed. I tried to sound annoyed, something that was hard to do when you weren’t really all that annoyed at all. Resistant was the only similar thing I could place a name to. I saw the wag Conrad’s smile faltered, his eyes looming with a dark shadow, masking the vibrant sparkle.

“Come on, don’t be so stubborn, please? You’ve been at it for hours, just let me help.” Stubborn. Just like my mother and his. Each of us were always set to do things on our own. But this was far more than just genetics at this point. This was my own grudge I was holding. This was my pride and my responsibility over my emotions acting. No matter how nice the gesture, I still refused, gnashing my teeth.

“Oh, so suddenly you care?” It was a lot more mean than I meant it. I know how much Conrad cares. How much he always has. He doesn’t have the best way to show for it, but in the end you always know it. It was a mistake, an instant regret. I watched how his face contorted. He wasn’t just disappointed now, but genuinely hurt by my own dig at his insecurities.

His whole life, Conrad always feared he wasn’t enough. He couldn’t give enough, couldn’t be enough. He always talked himself down, creating a false standard in which everyone else was above him, out of his league. He was insecure. He didn’t need reassurance, he knew what kind of love was real and what was fake, but the fact that maybe I had thought the same crushed him. I could tell.

His silence hung over us so heavy, a knife could slice it. His jaw stuttered and his eyes blinked slow. A loss for words. I wish he could just yell at me. Fuel my fire, make me feel less bad about what I said. Less guilty about the fact I couldn’t get over us when he could. Conrad didn’t deserve my emotional daggers directed at his heart simply because we split. I know Conrad, I always have. His method of leaving was cruel, but the boys heart was in the right place always.

“Fuck!” The sheet snapped back. I had enough. In all seriousness, I should’ve stopped to talk to the boy who was so clearly hurt by the door. A girl, a guest in a house that once felt just as much as hers as his was there in a now occupied room throwing insults unprovoked when he was trying to be nice.

Standing, I stumbled past him clumsily again, taking a spare blanket that hung off the end of the bed with me. I couldn’t take it. His stares, the silence, the sheet, my own guilt, my thoughts. I needed to be out of that sickened room.

“Y/n…” Again, the call was faint. A whisper in my head whose only goal was to make me stop. I didn’t turn. It was unfair, the whole thing. To me, to Conrad. I decided to sleep on the couch.

My back ached. The plush cushioning under my back too soft, too worn in. A good remedy, a great place for a quick nap. But it hurt after more than a few hours. The fabric rubbed harshly, the pillows sunk in. My hips popped when I stood.

The sun was shining through the windows, air crisp. Heat finally reached all corners of the large house and the cob webs were finally swept away. The magic of summer wasn’t there, but it felt homely. A good alternative to the sad loneliness of my own bedroom at home.

The house was still, the kitchen untouched and an empty mug in the sink. It was stained in a ring from where the old drink had been and had little brown streaks from where the coffee dripped off of the sides. The counter tops were cold, despite the heat inside. The floor was quiet, there was no shuffling. It led me to believe that the only other occupant was still asleep.

Heading up the stairs, I picked at my old clothes. The discomfort came from multiple things. The way my clothes stuck to my body, my teeth didn’t feel right in my mouth. My hair was knotted. I looked fine, but nothing felt right. The only way to describe it was that when waking up after a rough couple of nights, it felt like my skin didn’t fit right over my bones.

My door was wide open. The hinges bent all the way back, the light bled through the curtains. My already slow steps came to a halt when the threshold fell behind my legs. My bed was decorated with the same blue floral design it always had during the summers.

The pillows were placed where I always had them, and my blankets were hung so neat on the bottom of my bed. My fingers ran over the soft fabric like it wasn’t really mine. Like I was admiring a sample from a store, wishing it were mine. It was always so pretty.

My thumb hooked over the folded edge very carefully. I didn’t want to mess with the perfectly made bed. More importantly, I didn’t want to crease the remaining hand prints that laid in the center of the bed.

The plushy duvet left residue from bigger hands. Spread along the bends, from the center down. Proof that someone had truly tried their best to perfect it.

Looking under the top, not only had each layer been placed, but the fitted sheet. I could see it now with all its layers peeled back. The thought that even after my initial attempts to push away, to be mean, to hurt him, that Conrad had still wanted to help me made me feel warm. I wasn’t sure why my heart was fluttering for a boy I swore I hated. But my cheeks were red and my knees felt weak. I always did love his acts of service.

I didn’t plan on showering, but my skin was sticky with sleep and my heart was pounding too fast. I hated the fact that Conrad was too good for everyone in his own special ways. I hated the way he still cared and the way he remained so observant even in our absence. Most of all, I hate the way I reach for his shampoo in the shower. Longing for the scent of him to linger on me for just a little longer. How funny it is that we’ve changed so quickly and yet not at all. We used to share our hair products. He kept a hair tie for me in his bedside table. I had a drawer of clothes in his room, he had some in my closet. He went from my everything to just something in my life. Yet, with all this change I still reach for the familiarities of what we once had. My hand still searches the shower for his conditioner. My feet still take me to his door to find a shirt I like. What we had is gone, crushed under the weight of our separation, but my muscle memory pulls me back. The heart is a muscle, one that forever beats for Conrad Fisher.

I sit in the corner for longer than I lather the soap across my skin. My body is curled up against the cold tiles. I feel pathetic doing so. How small I’ve made myself. Not only mentally, but physically. I feel weak at how little self control I have. I think back on the past year of my life and I regret each decision I’ve made leading me here suddenly.

Was I not enough for Conrad? I know it’s not his reasoning behind his leaving, but I feel like the theory becomes more and more plausible the longer I think back on how lonely I’ve been. So stuck on my own problems, I forget how little I see my family. How Belly has grown without me. Her friends, her lovers. She is independent, she knows her path. Steven has matured. He understands feelings, he’s valedictorian. His brains lead him through life, he no longer comes to me at midnight to ask for help with math. I no longer review his essays or read his made up stories in the living room. We are two different siblings who once spent every moment together. My mother is nose deep in her own promotion with her books. She is succeeding while my father is going on dates and moving on. I am stuck in the same spot, forever thinking of the past, I can not move on.

I am scared by the knowledge that my family is no longer dependent on me. A scab is forming over the wound of the fact that Conrad has left, I am not needed. I hope the warm water fading into a cooler drizzle will hide the way my eyes are puffy and red. The streaks of water on cheeks will become streams of the shower. I am strong and resistant like my parents, but I am scared to admit that I have real fears. Ones that control my life. I will never tell them how I breakdown, how my heart is breaking and I am falling off the pedestal.

It’s more lively now then it was just an hour ago. The birds are gone, on vacation away in the warmer weather while the cold covers New England in a chilling blanket. I hear the mugs clattering from the hallways and the soft humming passing through his pink lips. He hears me before he sees me.

“Coffee?” He motioned to the brown liquid, steaming while it poured into the glass pitcher. Rubbing beneath my eyes, I could feel the weight of my eye bags heavy on my skin. My throat was coarse, hands aching from how hard I had grasped onto the shower walls. I hid behind the island counter on the stool. My body curled up into the baggy clothes covering my body, my knees hugging into my chest as close as possible.

“Yes, please.” I mumbled softly, trying not to show any weaknesses. Conrad knew me better than that. The way my lip twitched into a fake smile, how my eyes were more avoidant that usual. Even in my heavy feelings, my eyes were always drawn to him. I was closing myself off.

A beat passed. Conrad’s attempt at conversation had fallen short, right by my feet.

“How’d you sleep?” He turned to me, freshly brewed coffee sloshing around in the same mug as yesterday. He placed it in front of me, but he turned away again to pour his own cup. It wasn’t to further distance himself, creating a divide all while I was shutting down, but to give me room to breathe in a space I was so clearly suffocating in.

“It was okay.” I sighed, hand holding my head, my eyes closed. I imagined myself laid with my back pressed against plush pillows and my childhood bedroom fairy lights hanging over my head. It was still winter, but the atmosphere in my daydream felt of summer.

“I’m glad, then. That it wasn’t so bad, I mean.” He corrected himself, afraid of a wrath inside of me that didn’t exist to him anymore. It never really had, my emotions had only been misplaced yesterday.

Often I’ve been told that my words shoot to kill when I’m mad. I insult and belittle myself more than others, but my mother has no problem with bringing up the few times I targeted my feelings at Steven or Belly. How little I made them feel, how guilty I felt. I threw up once, after yelling at Steven. He hadn’t cared for it, fighting was what siblings did. But remembering how I tried to hurt him made me sick. I felt the same after insulting Conrad.

Nodding my head, I pursed my lips into a thin line. My eyes blinked away any dryness, I inhaled a deep breath.

“Hey, uhm…thank you, by the way.” I pulled the sleeves of my sweater over my hands, hovering over the cup of coffee to revel in the hot steam hitting my face.

Conrad turned around, leaning against the counter. His hands pressed up behind him, firm but his face was soft, glad.

“I shouldn’t have…you didn’t deserve that.” My eyes flickered between the floor and the folding of my sleeves over my thumbs. My skin was cold, my hair wet on the back of my neck. I had a lump in my throat.

“Y/n?” His voice was gentle, closer than before. I saw his elbows press against the counter top, just mere inches away. I felt even more awkward, littler than before somehow.

I hummed. But the coarseness in my throat made it come out as more of a rumble. I choked on the growing lump, my nose burned.

“We don’t have to avoid each other.” He said it like that was so easy. Like everything was resolved by him simply stating that he didn’t want to face the consequences of our actions.

“I know.” I brought the edge of the mug to my lips and blew. Steam clouded my vision, the wet heat felt nice on my cheeks.

“Y/n.” He said more firmly.

He wasn’t angry, but he wanted my attention. My eyes flickered up to his. They were darker now. Swarmed with so many emotions, it was hard to grasp onto what he was feeling. I set the mug down.

“Please don’t avoid me.” He begged more softly, his hand hesitated to reach out to me. Once they clasped around mine, it was almost relieving. Having something familiar to ground me while I was only working myself up. “I miss you, I miss us. We were best friends and we haven’t even spoken in…I don’t even know how long. This, this is stupid. To be running in circles like this?”

“That’s easy for you to say.” This time, my words weren’t angry. They broke apart when I spoke. The sentence was raw, the lump in my throat broke through my clenched teeth and my nose heated up in an intense burn. My eyes were heavy, working hard to keep any tears at bay. Again, here I find myself in a different spot, practicing the same habits. I stand in front of Conrad angry, ready to hurt his ego and pierce a hole through his heart just to ease my own mind.

I wanted exactly what he did, to be as close. I missed him more than anything in my life ever, but it wasn’t so simple. He pleaded my name again, I pulled my hands out of his. His fingers were like a barbed wire. It suddenly stung to have him touching me.

“I just wish you would’ve acknowledged it, you know? I mean look at me, look at us. You’re fine, you’re happy. I can’t even look at you without wanting to cry.” When our hearts broke, they broke uneven. Conrad was left with a bruise why I was facing the pain of a bleeding scar across my own. He had been the one to cause the rift, he had been the one to bring up everyone’s insecurities, use them against our relationship.

“Y/n.” He whispered, reaching out to me again. I stood from the stool, keeping my distance. My tears were hot, they burned into my skin.

“You couldn’t even stand me, Conrad! And I couldn’t see it before, but I can now. You couldn’t even text me, no. No, but that’s not the worst part. Maybe it’s the fact that you couldn’t even show up to Stevens graduation because I was there.” He sighed, ready to defend himself. I look back on all the disappointed faces, I remember the way Steven frowned at that empty seat beside me and I feel angry.

“Do you know how hard it is to tell your baby brother that his hero couldn’t make it to his graduation because he can’t even stand to be around me? Do you know how sad he was when he started to walk up to the podium and saw your seat was empty? I recorded it and sent it to you, did you know that? I wasn’t going to, I didn’t think you deserved to have a part in one of the most important parts in Stevens life, but he begged me to. Tried to make me send it twice so you’d get it.” I took a deep breath, wiping away the tears by my eyes, more spilled. My face was wet with salt water and red with anger.

“So why don’t we go back to how things were before after you’ve fucked it all up!”

“It’s really fucking unfair of you to act like this hasn’t affected me at all either!” He finally shot back. He was never one to yell. Conrad always had some sort of control over his composure. He never yelled, he hated yelling.

“How, how can you say that after you’ve done nothing to fix anything!” Walking closer to him, I saw how he turned away to grip the counter between his fingers.

“People deal with shit differently, Y/n. Grow up!” He yelled. His eyes were wild, it should’ve scared me. But god, him telling me to grow up after all he put me through only made me angrier. I was fragile already. But not as a flower, but a bomb.

“Fuck you, Conrad.” My voice was shaky, but firm. I didn’t yell, my lack of volume was almost scarier than my inevitable rage. He looked up at me, it was like watching him realize how his words had betrayed him. He hadn’t meant for us to fight, to talk like this. He wanted to fix things. He wanted me back.

“Y/n.” He shook his head, walking closer to me, he bent away from the edges of the island to reach me quicker. His voice was laced with pity

“Stop saying my name!” I backed away, feet catching on the threshold, I slowed myself down. Each time he said it, it pulled on my heartstrings. How could he be so selfish to not even be able to see all the pain I’ve been put through!

“I’ve missed you ever since I left you! You think I don’t regret the way I treated you? I’m not naïve to my own stupidity, I know my mistakes, I’ve owned them. You were my everything, god you might as well have hung the stars!” He waved his hands around to animate what he was saying. It only stresses me out more.

“Then why? Why did you throw it all away!” My body began to crumble beneath me, my knees wobbled.

“Because I was scared! I was scared of losing you. I thought if I let myself become too obsessed, that if you decided to leave me I would never be able to get back up. I had to do it!” He confessed. It all made sense then. All my unanswered questions, all my insecurities of not being enough. Conrad hadn’t left because I couldn’t give him what he wanted. He left because he was scared of what would happen when I was gone. That he wasn’t enough.

“I wouldn’t have left you, Conrad. I wouldn’t have.” My palms hit my eyes, my knees started to give. A sob ripped through my throat. It hurt to breathe.

His arms were like a blanket. His hands still fit perfectly around my back. When he held me, it was tight. I knew it then that he wouldn’t be letting me go, not now. His shirt was wet with my tears, mine was wet with my hair. I felt stupid, naïve to think of Conrad in such bad ways when he had only been doing what he thought was best to protect his heart after loss after loss.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I repeated it like a prayer, I didn’t mean to be so mean. I didn’t want to be rude to him, I wanted him to be close to me always. His heart was beating out of his chest when he nodded. He knew I never meant to fight him. We were both entitled to our feelings, there was no reason in trying to apologize for how we reacted.

His hand lifted to my head, brushing through my hair. He gathered a chunk in his palm, his knuckles gripping at it. It didn’t hurt, he didn’t intend for it to. He was breathing me in, holding onto me in every which way possible.

“It’s going to be okay, we’re going to be okay.” My sobs were muffling themselves, quieting down into soft whimpers. It took a lot to even nod my head against his shirt. It smelled like him, and it was homely. I felt safer now than in our argument. Our words held no value anymore, I just hoped that what he said was true.

Holding her like that almost made things feel normal again. Having her hair in between my fingers and her waist pressed against mine. I wanted to revel in it, selfishly. But her sniffles and uneven breath only made me remember why I even got the privilege to hold her again.

Again and again, I watched her breakdown over a mistake I made. To protect myself. I swore it to her last winter, promised her that it would always be my favorite season because she was my favorite thing. I built up this trust and a love between us. It was when she left that I freaked out over what my mom said.

“I’ve never seen you so happy.” She had said, poncho bc my cheek between her fingers. Playfully, I pulled my face away.

“Yea?” I mused, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and watched the steady snowfall on the final night of winter through the window.

“The love bug’s got you.” She was right. I was so undeniably in love with Y/n. I would change everything in my life just to be with her always.

“What?” My eyes squinted from the way my eyebrows furrowed. She was still looking out into the snow.

“It’s okay to be in love, Connie.” She quickly turned to me and smoothed out my shirt. She sensed my confusion and stress. I knew I was in love with her, but the fact that it was that obvious, that clear made me worry.

“Everyone has their first love at some point.” With that she left. At some point. The words rung through my head. I knew that the first love was always the strongest, but this was not my first love. I had fallen for an ex-girlfriend in freshman year. She broke my heart. Why was the thought of Y/n leaving shattering mine completely?

The more I thought of us together then, the more I worried about her leaving. She was perfect for me, maybe. But could I even measure up to her perfection? Could I give her everything?

I was able to push that feeling away for a few weeks. But as winter turned to spring and the leave began to regrow, I couldn’t shake it. Distance was a thing I was only growing between us. Space, something I created so there was no way we could get hurt. I thought it was the right thing, then. I thought it was the right move for me to let her leave so easily. To watch her fight for me one last time and not react. I was giving her the chance for someone more, someone better. I didn’t know I was only breaking her heart in ways I worried I would break my own.

It was a guilt I lived with all these months. When she didn’t come up to cousins because she wasn’t feeling good, I knew why. I had avoided her like the plague after our last conversation, our first real fight. I couldn’t even show up for her family in one of their most important milestones. Now it seemed like we only fight now, or at least in these past couple hours.

My neck was stiff from how it leaned against the back of the couch. I hadn’t watched past the hour mark of the black and white movie Conrad had put on. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I no longer liked it.

The movie was all I watched when I was at my absolute worst. Not to say I wasn’t still there, I felt rock bottom beneath my feet, but I felt myself getting better slowly. I no longer spent each day rewatching the same film over and over to ease the pain and remind myself of a happier time. I hated the way they talked. I once found it romantic, but the old cracking in the sound and the fancy accents made me angry. None of it was real.

To Conrad, he only did what he thought I would like. He had no way of knowing of my new distaste to the movie. One I used to rave about for hours. Then again, he never asked.

Yawning, I felt a set of eyes on mine.

“Tired?” He asked, a small smile on his face. I waved him off.

“Nope.” I popped the ‘p.’ It was an easy lie, my dark circles and slouchy posture gave it away. There was no way to sell it. I was surprised when he didn’t push me on it. My eyes drooped, my cheek pressed to my lonely shoulder. I had no one to lean on. I curled into myself a little, all while silently telling myself I was awake.

A pillow hit my lip, I bit down a little but it didn’t hurt me. My eyes were wide open now, hair messed up around the top. My fly aways were all over the place, my eyes squinting.

“Hey!” Grabbing the corners of the pillow, I swung as hard as I could towards Conrad, the culprit. It his his chest, he groaned out in a heavy breath. The pillow was soft, I was sure it didn’t hurt. But he entertained the idea that it did by rubbing circles in his chest, wincing and hissing through his teeth. I rolled my eyes.

“Seriously?” I leaned back against the cushions again, placing the pillow comfortably over my lap. I heard him laugh. A real, genuine laugh. It felt like weight was lifted off of my back.

“What! That was one of my best performances.” He punched my shoulder. I shot him playful glares. He pushed at me again, begging for a reaction. I folded already, giving into his games and retaliating against his childish attacks. But I would not crumble so easily. I would not let him tease me and play me until I opened up again just hours after yet another fight. I worried that another would ensue.

Sitting up, I tossed the pillow back at him. The sound he made confirmed it had hit him in the face.

“Come on, where are you going?” I could hear the smile in his voice. It made me smile too, knowing he was happy.

“To bed, I am tired.” I didn’t look back, but I felt him watching.

I swore I heard words die on his tongue. A soft stutter to a dead silence. Like he wanted to protest but stopped himself somehow. He never saw me look back, but when I was turning to the stairs, I allowed myself a glimpse.

His eyes were spacey, lip pulled between his front teeth. His eyebrows furrowed. He was deep in thought, but I could see the disappointment in his face. He didn’t seem as full of life, as cheerful. We were rebuilding a childhood, best friend bond that was lost with in cracking of our foundations in the spring.

“Goodnight, Conrad.” I still hadn’t had the ability to carry a joke with him. To keep a conversation flowing without my emotions dying inside of me before I could get them out. I whispered my goodnight. I wanted him to know I still held a place in my heart for him, but part of me wanted to reserve that knowledge to only myself.

I was scared to be more than what was being proposed. The door was open, we were almost friends. It was an odd spot. We’d act like friends, joke like them, but we both knew what we had done, what had just happened. I would walk through the entrance if Conrad would allow it. If we could at least be close, even if his lips weren’t mine, even if his body wasn’t there for me to lean on anymore. I would live happily, I’d be able to put on a brave face and call myself his friend. I would stand by the alter, watching him find another love, burying the hatchet of our love for good and I would be okay, I decided. As long as I still had him. As long as I never had to feel as alone as I did this morning.

“They’re saying borderline blizzard conditions, Con. You don’t think we’ll need to go on a supply run, do you?” His back was turned to me, hands working over the pot of coffee skillfully. His thumb brushed against the glass, he hissed quietly and shook his hand off.

“I think you’re just overthinking it.” He payed my worry not attention. He knew this house better than I did. It would hold, that wasn’t the worry. We had no shovels, nothing to dig us out of snow were to block us in. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. I made my way around the island, pushing myself off of the counter and into one of the stools perched under it.

“Coffee?” Conrad asked, ignoring my questions again. I gave into him, playing his game and being stubborn.

“What kind?” My fingers drew circles on the cold marble.

“Black.” He set the cup down in front of me, letting it come to a halt right in front of me. My eyes flickered to the coffee, a smirk fighting it’s way onto my cheeks.

“Like your soul?” Like your heart, is what I wanted to say. Something that used to come so easy, meaningless insults directed at him not to make him sad, but to make him smile. I still hadn’t answered by question, though. If I were to direct a remark at his heart, would it weigh too much under the cracking foundation of our recovering friendship? I still wondered if he would laugh at that and go along with it.

Conrad laughed, looking out the window and admiring the sky. He didn’t respond, but he never really had when I’d make those jokes. Usually he would laugh or tell me it was a good one. He sighed lightly.

“I walked right into that one.” He smiled down at his coffee now, holding the mug loose with the handle dangling between his fingers.

When silence took over the room, it wasn’t uncomfortable. We welcomed it. We were alone with our thoughts and for once, they weren’t twisted and heavy. Only happy memories and thoughts of old habits.

In my mind, I dreamed of times where I knew what to say after making a joke. What I could do to counter a snarky remark and his laughter. I always knew what to say to him, when and why. I knew what made him tick. I still knew how to set him off, I believe that once you have the ability to get under someone’s skin, you never truly lose it. Either you continue to poke at the wounds that hurt them so, or your presence is able to remind them of it. Yet, with all the loss in my every heartbeat, somewhere along the way I forgot how to keep him happy.

Conrad’s footsteps snapped me out of my clouded haze. My eyes snapped up from the counter to his face. He didn’t look at me, but stayed focused on his coffee.

“Glad to know you still got it.” His eyes flicked to me, I swear I saw him wink. It was so quick, my words died in a pathetic stutter. I smiled stupidly at him, I couldn’t even pretend to be snarky. It caught me off guard, somehow. My walls were torn down now, the barrier of anger and sadness I kept up around him to keep us apart gone with our last fight and heart to hearts. The devils in the details, but somehow it didn’t feel as deep, as life changing anymore.

It was like he knew I couldn’t think of something to promise to him. To keep us going. He surely hadn’t lost it.

I tried to rationalize everything recently. But it felt like it took over my life. I’d almost forgotten about Belly and Steven. How they’d been so quick to shut me out simply because someone had offered me a place to be wanted for a moment. Conrad always knew when to swoop in to save me. I could help but talk myself down every so often and convince myself that Conrad is not made of Angel dust. He simply is a man, and a smart one at that. All of this could be just to butter me up, I know it’s always an outcome. A way to win me back, but never want me the same. It poisons me to think about him that way, I know him. He would never play me to become the good guy.

My mind has no middle line. Constantly wavering between my lover, the man I see as the sky and the seas. I see him as a perfect lipstick stain to a white collar, uggs in the fall, hot chocolate in the winter. He is all things I love and yet I still fight. The other part of me fights my heart to keep my distance. How just hours ago I told myself the hate I had for Conrad was always going to be just that, irreversible hurt that he caused. It’s the sweetest torture I could bare in the fact that really, by the end of it my mind is set on just getting to be with him again. No matter what his games are.

It’s pathetic, but my heart strings pull a little whenever I hear his footsteps upstairs. When I can tell if he’s coming to see me or not. I like knowing he likes to be around me once more. It almost covers up the fact that he hurt me so bad. I’m not idiot, however. I wish I were in some cases, but I’m not blinded completely by my love. With every advance, I find a way to make it platonic. He’s my friend.

He said he missed me, our friendship bond. I know that he is a man of his word. I should not work myself up, I shouldn’t expect so much. I shouldn’t jump into his arms because he says go. I think rationally, I use my head. I let my heart race and my cheeks flush but ultimately my brain will stop me from messing about again. So part of me finds it sad when the power goes out later that day. For both the house and myself. It’s childish how quickly I jump in search of Conrad. I have to remind myself not to hold onto him, not to yell I told you so.

I call for his name quietly through the halls, feeling the chipping paint under my finger tips. It’s still fresh, but bumpy. A previous project of Susannah’s from when her paint brushes never seemed to dry out. It’s hard to tell if she never finished her projects that summer. Or even if she never finished any.

In the dark, it’s almost more clear to see where her brush strokes end. Where the moonlight illuminates the white and blues, you can see the divides between old and new. God, if she were any less attentive it would surely be the end of this house. It was in great condition, but some things were out of place, uncared for simply because Susannah’s mind went a mile a minute.

Smiling, I let my hands run over the wall, feet planting on the cold wood. I could feel it through my socks, with the lights out and the heat stuttering to a halt.

“Y/n/n, hey.” He sounded breathless, coming up from behind me. I hadn’t even noticed the stomping of his feet up the staircase as my fingers danced along the wall. So caught up in the past I find it that sometimes I forget that I’m living in my present. Looking around my metaphorical room in my mind, I see my chosen family. I see his brother as mine, his mother as mine. I see myself as a child again running through the sand and tracking mud through the dining room.

I know deep down I can not keep holding on, keep on keeping myself back. I can never give Conrad peace, but I can give him my sunshine, my best. He would always have a friend in me. I set my heart free then, fingers stuck to the wall, eyes flickering to my feet. I let go of my heart break and my solemn silences I throw at my loved ones for guilt. I let my walls down, I take Conrad’s hand, and I shake my head. His smile is warm, his eyes loving. He still needs me, he always has. He still loves me and my heart is racing. I finally feel like I have him back.

“You okay?” Back in reality, I’m aware that I’m not actually holding onto his hand, and Conrad isn’t really smiling at me. My heart is still in its cage and I have fallen victim to my own mind again. Conrad is not mine.

Clearing my throat, I lick at the corners of my lips. When I shake my head this time, I know it’s real because Conrad is looking at me questioningly. He is not in love with me, he is not drooling over me. The power is still out and our muddy footprints mean nothing to him anymore.

“We blew a fuse, but the generators dead. We’re just going to have to stick it out.” I nodded again, looking up at him with doe eyes. My lips were glossy with a sheen coat of spit from how much I licked them, but at them nervously. Yet, he didn’t even spare me a glance. It was almost like he was waiting on something.

“You can say it.” He finally sighed.

“Say what?” His eyes caught mine, seeing just how intently my eyes focused on his dimples and the bridge of his nose decorated with delicate freckles. I cleared my throat.

“You told me so.” He smiled, punching my shoulder playfully. He could tell my mind was drifting, he could see it, I saw the way his eyes softened. My gentle smile turned into a shit-eating grin.

A beat passed, he continued waiting on me in the dark room. I liked it in some odd ways. Enjoyed having him waiting on me for once. It wasn’t the same. How my heart waited for his apologies for so long, how I expected it because I knew one day he would come back to me to make things right in his own way. But somehow, his desire for my once overlooked jokes and brushed off comments made my cheeks warm. Like more than me in this moment, he wanted the normal us back.

“Are you going to…” He voice trailed off, my feet picked up against the cold wood floor.

“Why don’t you start the fire? I’m going to get some blankets.” I tucked the hair behind my ear, practically running to the staircase. He nodded, not that I could see it, but the silence confirmed that he had forgotten that I couldn’t truly see his nod. That along with a soft hum of approval from him.

“Oh, and Conrad.” He hummed again. His eyes glistened in the moonlight, shining brighter than any other object standing in the hallway. He waited on me patiently, slowly inching closer.

“I told you so.”

The best of blankets and pillows sprawled put along the living room floor helped to further nestle us against the foot of our white couch. The snowfall and the storm felt less like an inconvenience but a gift.

I was reminded of my childhood. Of first snowfalls and broken ice skates. Red noses and icy hair. I remember how even after the facade of perfect holidays and new years kisses faded into nothing more than a dream, how my heart still soared with excitement each coming fall. How I couldn’t wait to see the snowy powder decorating my front lawn. I get reminded of why I drove so long to see Conrad. Of his warm hugs and his soft mittens. Wearing his hats and stumbling around in the backyard. I feel less hurt by the company than I once did a few days ago. I feel blessed that by some miracle, fate had string Conrad and I back together. That his hands would forever paint my hands in a gentle love we only held, and his whispers of senseless jokes he mumbled tiredly were only mine to laugh at.

The fire crackled, roaring feverishly through the night. The snow and wind pounded against the sides of the house, and despite the chills running through my toes and my fingers, I felt warmer inside than before, rekindling our inside jokes and fueling ourselves for even more.

Soon, our soft laughter and ongoing conversations died out. Our eyes glued to the flames, I tried to catch a glimpse into Conrad’s eyes. I wanted to know what the fire would look like reflected into his blue eyes. Instead, I caught his gaze locked onto my face.

I felt embarrassed, in a way. Vulnerable under his gaze. I felt my cheeks heat up and my body tingle. I felt like a school girl again.

“Y/n/n.” He called for me softly. The only way I was sure that he’d even said it was the fact that my eyes were so trained in his pink lips. I nodded slowly.

“Why did you come down here? Why now?” Even though the question was serious, I couldn’t help but to smile at his curiosity in my life.

Taking a deep breath, I watched his flat face turn into a welcoming grin.

“Lately, I’ve just been caught up in the past, I guess. I’m just so used to coming home every winter to Steven and Belly in the living room already fighting. And my dad and mom arguing about what decorations playfully.” Conrad laughed like he could picture it. He’d never really been in my house during the holidays. Sure, the Fisher family would stop by every few months when the distance became too much, but holiday’s were usually spent apart.

“I guess when I came home this year and that wasn’t there, I kind of freaked a little. I mean, Steven just left, Belly was too caught up in her own life to care about what I wanted to do, how much time we had left. My dad was too busy to stop by and…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I almost allowed the words to slip, how the final straw was that even with the mess of my family, at least at one point I had Conrad. I had his gentle hands and his quiet promises to hold onto. When everything went to hell, it was like losing the last bit of peace. “I wanted to be somewhere I wouldn’t feel alone, I guess.” I replaced my words with this. Hoping he’d understand how much he meant to me, how much all of it meant to me.

The single puff of air coming harshly through his mouth in a sigh reminded me just how close we were. How I could feel each word falling from his lips fanning over my shoulder. We were sharing a blanket, so close yet our bodies so far.

“Y/n.” He sounded more serious. During my confession, I found a home in the floorboards. Feeling safer confessing to the air than to a man who destroyed me not so long ago. My eyes hesitated to meet his, but I could see just how serious he was.

“I regret what happened between us more than anything I’ve ever done in my life. I know I can’t reverse that, but please never say you are alone. I swear to you, no matter what, I’m there.” It was rare to hear such thing from Conrad. Maybe a grunt of a hug to assure my feelings were always appreciated. But I could see the sincerity in his face, his voice was dripping with guilt. He meant it, every word.

Nodding my head, I silently thanked him. I watched his eyes search my face. How his lips parted but shut quickly. He decided against continuing, but it was like an unspoken apology was being said between us in that moment.

With gravity pulling us together, it was only in my nature to protect my heart. I had to rip us apart before I gave in without knowing if we’d ever be the same. If I kissed him and it was just a winter fling, I couldn’t take another heartbreak.

So, in our silence, I moved my hand between us. The pad of my thumb brushing away the charcoal from the fire dusting just under his cheek. I watched how he shivered and backed away, eyes fluttering shut. All while I bit at my lip, delicate in the way I rubbed away the dust.

“Are my hands cold?” I remained focused in on him, my lips curled into a smile seeing his reaction to my touch, how he shivered but didn’t complain. He nodded his head slowly, but his eyes were still closed.

I saw how his eyebrows furrowed, it wasn’t from discomfort, but in the low light it was hard to tell. My hand curled away, ready to ease the coldness off of his skin. I didn’t expect his own hand to cover mine, holding it against his now rosy cheeks.

“Feels nice.” He mumbled almost drowsily. His eyes still hidden behind his eyelids, his other hand found mine aimlessly, gently pressing it to his other cheek. I felt his weight sink into my palms, reveling in my touch.

The band suddenly snapped. All the tension, all the build up. He was right there, so eager, so gentle. I had to know if he was still the same boy I loved not too long ago. He had set me up for an old joke.I always wondered if I could still joke with him like this. It still gnawed at me some nights.

“It’s because you’re cold hearted.” I expected him to laugh, I hoped he would. But instead, he smiled just as genuine as his old laughter, melting into my touch more than I thought he could ever. I hadn’t been able to predict what he would tell me. Couldn’t have read his lips even if I could see into the future.

“For everyone else, maybe. But not for you.” He was as honest as a man could be. With his eyelashes fluttering open, I could see it in his eyes now. How they looked back at me wide and awake. I felt my stomach flip. There was something there I had previously missed. Dancing along with the glowing of the fire in his irises, was the same spark he once carried when I was his and he was mine.

I didn’t even get to challenge it, teasing him and making him repeat his confessions. My lips stuttered on the first syllable, just before his hands smushed my cheeks with the force of how he grabbed me. He was firm, but not aggressive. He could never hurt me.

His lips molded against mine perfectly in my mind. He tasted like mint and hot chocolate. My hands tangled in his hair, his palms flat against my waist. With so little space between us, so much fever and pent up frustration, air became harder and harder to get. With each touch of his fingers, it was like tiny fires being sparked across my body.

He hadn’t even had to tell me what he felt then. Neither did I. In that moment my walls crumbled beneath my feet. All resistance was gone. In Conrad’s grasp, I felt less alone.

I knew it then. To Conrad, my mind games I played on myself, my temper and the storms that would inevitably cloud up my sunniest days, the fact that I could never give him peace did not matter. We would always be enough.

#conrad fisher #conrad fisher angst #conrad x reader #tsitp conrad #conrad x you #tsitp s2 #tsitp x reader #tsitp x y/n #fisher x reader #team conrad #conrad fisher x y/n #conrad fisher x you #conrad fisher x reader

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notetaeker · 9 days

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Hello!!! How did you become so dedicated to your studies? Do you have some advice?

I love your blog, btw✨️

Hi hi hi!! Thanks for the sweet message 💞💞

My BIG study tips (after 25 years of studying):

Accept your fate. This goes for anything but I used to procrastinate with studying a LOT and once you start it's actually not that bad. It's guaranteed. Automatically once you start, you have started, so you're already on your way, so it's already automatically not as bad anymore. Whining abt ur studies and avoiding them will not make them go away unfortunately. Just do it.

Make study time sacred. A few minutes of focused study is much more valuable than 5 hours spent at the library "studying" + scrolling + talking to friends + listening to music at the same time. Doing 5 hours like that is literally putting yourself thru hell because 1. you cant fully enjoy any of those non-studying activities and 2. you come out of that being like ugh I studied this page for 5 hours I'm tired of studying I need a break. Pomodoro method really changed my life pls try it out if u haven't already

That one tumblr post that says 'learning is basically being exposed to the same materials many times in multiple ways' is 100% correct. How many different ways can you expose yourself to the material. Memorizing facts- can you draw it? Can you organize the facts into lists? Can you attach a funny story to one of the facts? The more ways you interact with any material, the stronger it's saved in your memory. Find out if you're a visual learner- and then create visual tools, maybe color coding things helps you. Do a little digging and find out what works for you.

Diversify your life. Have some hobbies, spend time with friends/family, take a break. Let the computer of your brain sort out things in the background while you do other things. Once you go back to studying, you will feel refreshed (and not fatigued from 5 hrs in the library doing "studying") This also means that if you fail an exam, you won't be like 'oh no i spent my whole spring break studying for this exam and didn't even enjoy it and now I got a bad grade i must be horrible my life is nothing' and spiral. def not based on a true story :) Instead you'll be like yeah I failed but look at this scarf I crocheted look at mee i have mental health!

Sleep is magic- no matter what anyone else tries to tell you. 1. If you studied something during the day, just review those things right before bed and magically they will get set into your brain. Also 2. sleeping is when our brain sorts info so if you don't get any sleep at all it' the same as taking your study sheets and throwing them into the air, so when you ask your brain for the info during the test it's like lol it's around here somewhere. On the other hand, if you slept and gave ur brain time to sort it, when you ask for that info, it'll just open the right drawer and give u the info!

That's it for the big ones- if you want more specific advice feel free to ask! Also as a disclaimer, these 5 are all big life lessons that I had to learn thru trial and error, so consider these to be the advice I would give myself at a younger age. Pls don't be offended lol whenever I said 'you' I rlly was thinking abt myself.

#studyblr #study tips #replies #anon #writing this list felt like free therapy thanks anon + I hope this is useful for u

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ppnuggie · 7 months

Note

Apologies for the previous asks

For the Rung ask And the slap a note ask, will you still be able to do them with human reader please? And the bots in both use a holoform, so they are the same size as the human

I'm sorry once again

　　　　　　RUNG x gn reader

　　　　『　rung ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> picnic date w/ rung <3

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, lil crack ,, bro experiences sour lemonade

　　— its alr :D but please keep it in mind if you request in the future :3 i only did the rung one because i didnt rlly understand the other request . made it a oneshot ,, feel free to reblog or give any comments / feedback ! <3 i enjoy reading them and seeing my work spread !

it wasnt quite like earth ,, but it was still nice . being here with rung and introducing him to some customs from your world . and it had been a minute since you'd last gone on a picnic . air warm with a chill breeze rustling against the organic plants covering the ground . almost like grass ,, yet less itchy and more soft . not to mention the vibrant purple color . the sky was green ,, a contrast to the rest of the planets warm colored flora . almost reminding you of halloween in a way ,, with its greens ,, purples ,, and oranges . when was the last time you had celebrated halloween ? or been to a halloween party ? you couldnt even recall how long youve been aboard the lost light ,, with how much things have happened .

" (y/n) ? are you feeling alright ?" his hand settled on your shoulder ,, voice smooth and soothing to your ears . it was nice ,, having someone to care and check up on you for once . being aboard the lost light ,, the most you would get for that would be from the medics making sure you didnt break a bone doing something silly and unthought of . " yeah ,, just taking in the sights ." you smiled to the man ,, rung ,, your hand coming to meet his on your shoulder . the psychiatrist nodded with a smile ,, picnic blanket by his side as you both started to walk up the hillside . it wasnt too steep ,, yet it did pose a bit of a challenge .

his hand slid off your shoulder ,, yours following in pursuit and entangling with his . slim fingers tucked in between your own ,, his hand more warm than yours . how such a little gesture made your heart pick up ,, feeling your face heat as you treasured the feeling . it had been too long since you had felt the touch of another ,, let alone a human . even if he wasnt really human ,, it did heal your lonely and touch starved heart . the need and want of another starting to fill slowly the longer youre with rung . its almost as if all your worries fly away ,, out the window to never bother you again .

" this seems like a good spot ,," you muttered ,, setting the picnic basket and taking the blanket from rung . " can you hold the other end ?" you asked ,, waiting for him to grab the corners . you walked backwards and started to lie the blanket on the soft grass ,, placing the basket over in the middle of it . " i've never been on a picnic before . i must thank you for inviting me ,, (y/n) ." rung hummed ,, opening the basket and pulling out the goods from inside . there wasnt much ,, just some sandwiches packed with some fruits that had been previously cut . a couple of plates and two glasses ,, a pitcher of lemonade to go with . " its nothing really ,, im just glad you even came along ." you replied ,, setting the plates out and grabbing a sandwich for yourself . rung picked one up curiously ,, interested in it . " what might this be ?"

" its a sandwich . the outside is bread and inside is peanut butter and jelly . theres other kinds if you dont like that one ." you shrugged it off ,, biting into your own sandwich . rung examined it ,, lifting the top bread up a bit before putting it back down . he took a bite ,, letting out a hum at the taste . he's only had energon his whole life ,, or other versions of energon . there wasnt much of a flavor to it ,, but experiencing this was quite intriguing for him . it made him wonder what the other things youve brought along would taste like . would it taste sweet ,, like the sandwich he was eating ?

you poured a cup of lemonade for him ,, holding it out so he can grab it . rung didnt waste a second ,, taking a small sip and taking in the different flavors . it made his 'tongue' tingle in a bizarre way ,, his eyes scrunching up . though the tang left and he was left with a sweet aftertaste . " too sour ?" you asked with a giggle ,, forgetting that sometimes lemonade doesnt suit everyone . " is that the word for it ? then yes ,, i suppose so ." rung set the drink down and continued to munch on his sandwich . you had already finished yours ,, munching on a couple of grapes that had been packed .

" what are those ?" rung asked as he swallowed his bite ,, pointing towards the grapes in your fingers . " theyre grapes ,, a type of fruit . try one ,," you said and placed a plump grape into his open hand . " theyre not as sour as the lemonade ,, i promise ." he nodded ,, putting it in his mouth and chewing . it wasnt sour but its wasn't exactly sweet . the crunchiness soon turn into a mushy mess ,, swallowing the supposed grape . he soon finished his sandwich ,, and looked to where you laid on the blanket . " what are you doing now ?" he asked ,, setting down beside you . your hands found each other ,, entangling once more with each other . his hand warmed yours ,, a pleasant feeling with the breeze cooling your skin .

" looking at the clouds and seeing what they look like ." you hummed ,, raising your free hand to point at one . " that one kinda looks like magnus's grumpy face ,," you snicker to yourself . rung nodded ,, smile placed lightly upon his lips . " that one sort of looks like those ,, what are they called ? ofu ?" he raised a brow in question . " its ufo ,, and yeah it does . what if it is ?" you looked over at him in surprise before laughing to yourself . " what if they're here to abduct you ?" rung widened his eyes a bit before shaking his head . " i hope not ,," he unlaced his hand from yours and cupped your cheek . " i couldnt bare to be apart from you ,," he whispered before placing a kiss on your lips .

#transformers x reader #x reader #x gender neutral reader #rung x reader #rung #mtmte rung #transformers rung #🎇.mtmte #🎇.rung

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littlesliceofimmortality · 11 months

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Looks at you with my autistic eyes. Oliver headcanons please (if you haven't done that already)

(My eyeballs pop out of my head and stretch and touch yours.) Hi. THANKS for asking!!!hes such an weird animale to me

oliver d. swift

• d stands for dickens, but if you ask him, its just dick

• it/he/& neopronouns! usually defaults to ey/em asked what neos, but esp likes if theyre emojis or onomatopoeia

• transmasc homo homo gay, obv. been on T ever since he got a job, but doesnt care to get top or bottom surgery

• also either cupioromantic or cupiosexual. it doesnt yhink about it too hard nor is it strict about labelling itself

• also also objectum. half joke

• my fleshhead version of him has a scruff moustache but Also hes just a Hairy guy

• i keep forgetting they have canon heights but ima say it again because its so real. 5'3 compactly built and has a muffin top. gained No height while on T, but he did get acne! and General grime

• afro-columbian but didnt rlly learn about his heritage until late teens (since yakno no parents to teach him) ... has been embracing his culture more and more as he ages

• autism adhd & bpd, baby - TRIPLE combo! used to take meds for his adhd but it made his mood worse and took away his, and i quote, "quirkiness".

• still on mood stabilizers though he needs that

• dabbles in a bit of every art form, fond of things that involve beads, but filmmaking has always been its one true love <3

• makes kandi bracelets and uses them as fidget toys, often accidentally breaking them

• the ones he DOESNT break he gives to his pals as gifts!

• has beads on his fez string too. changes it up - sometimes its 🏳️‍⚧️ or 🇨🇴 or 🏁. sometimes its a lizard 🦎

• rediscovered a film ey did back in high school. it was a 43 minute recording of hands crushing peanuts in black and white while someone sang french opera in the back.

• oliver have no memory of making this nor can ey confirm it was em

• he did the catcus tattoo on his ankle himself! stick & poke :-)also has a ferret on his bicep and a cassette player on his inner thigh

• mild carpal tunnel and wears wrist sleeve compressors to help but he works it like its a fashion choice

• similarly has a landyard that marks him as an employee, decked out with various pins and jangly keys

• has like five red flannels that are basically the same but have ever-so-subtle differences in the stripes

• it works at a red horror attraction and wears a red fez and red clothes . red isnt even its favorite colors its bright green or something

• mr dickens let oliver do all the sound effects for the horror attraction (he doesnt know ey ripped them all from fnaf)

• knows literally everyone in dialtown idk how. dude shares blunts with God

• took photography classes with lola, raved with craig, had the same therapist as jerry, makes lunch plans with karen, passed bigfoot on the street and did a bro nod at him, boybestfriends with randy, gives gabby gifts on mothers day, just showed up at a mob gathering one day with drinks, etc etc. Need i go on

• never has a shortage of aquantinces but finds it hard to keep close friends

• 1 million contacts without pfps in his phone 1 million email notifications 1 million tabs open

• its The oliver! what else to say!!! uhmmCan he step on a landmine.please

#henrys rambles #dialtown #oliver swift #like to deploy the landmines reblog to send him to the trenches

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winxbutbetterimo-ovo · 4 months

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Riven long ver 1

(some stuff is from the fan wiki i just tweaked)

Name: Riven Liam Arthur

Looks: Aesthetics only gym bro (so he strong but not stronger than Helia for example) . His skin is rosy with a slight tan, and his eyes are narrow and indigo-colored. He has short red-violet hair that is spiked back with only two bangs framing his face.

Relationships: Soulmate is Musa (after a shit ton of work to deserve her ofc) he is the closest to Nabu, has a rivalry with Sky

Personality: He is very insecure on the inside coz he thinks he needs to be better than everyone or else he is nothing. he is also thin-skinned and sensitive to what people thought about him. As a result, he is easily affected when people laughs at or humiliates him. Riven's insecurities caused him to doubt the authenticity of those around him and question who his true friends were.

But on the outside, Egotistic. Riven is the impulsive, competitive, realistic and goal-oriented member of the Specialists. He can be rather hot-headed, experiencing moments of envy and blind aggression; but he is also protective and caring (mostly towards musa or his parents but only when they arent looking). This compassion is not solely limited to his love interests, as he was extremely unwilling to leave Griffin and her students behind while they were imprisoned in their school's dungeon during the Trix's ongoing invasion. Riven has trouble expressing his emotions in a suitable manner, even when he is not putting up a cold front. He is a bit of a lone wolf. arrogant and mean-spirited, which often puts him at odds with everyone.

Despite his initially unfriendly attitude, Riven is shown to have a conscience early on, though it is often overshadowed by his many shortcomings. He can also be reflective when not blinded by his anger. Riven expresses that there are many things he dislikes about himself, but denies the notion that he is a monster, claiming that even he "has a heart". He goes on to prove this statement through his gradual development as a character. Riven displays an even more vulnerable side when he went off to mourn and cry for Nabu when he died.

As time goes on, he still struggles to express his emotions, he is noticeably friendlier and more cooperative. he becomes more compassionate and relaxed, no longer taking his friends' jokes too seriously (even making some himself). He smiles a lot more and doesn’t mind engaging in some goofy behavior. In spite of this, Riven remains a straightforward and blunt person. He is very realistic and vocal. he listens to Timmy when he says he can still sense Tecna's magical vibe (indicating she is alive) and quietly comforts him.

History: his family are all uber successful and he is praised for his intensity at home coz he and his brothers r all rlly competitive. He was pretty privileged as a child so he never knew any hard times, and thus he sees “struggling” as a weakness that people need to overpower. His parents spoiled him for sure. After season 3 Musa breaks up with him after the events of the movie since he was so easily used as a spy again. He acts like it doesn't bother him and dates around but he actually really misses her. In season 4 they get back together in the middle after Riven proves that he has changed/is trying to change for the better.

Weapon: a scimitar-styled purple phantoblade and a bolas, sometimes he also uses a dagger boomerang. He is also very good at dragon wrangling and is a very skilled thief and lock picker. all his wepons are purple in colour, like the gem on his uniform

#winx #magic winx #winx headcanons #winx rewrite #winx riven #winx club redesign #winx club rewrite #winx club

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todayisawthewhxlewxrld · 4 months

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RAYHSIIisushshjdiJWJWISIH MY SLEEP SCHEDULE IS SO MUCH BETTER NOW?!?! I'VE BEEN GOING TO BED AT AROUND 7 PM, AND WAKING UP A 6 AM?!?! LIKE EVEN ON THE WEEKENDS? BRO. BE PROUD OF ME PRAISE ME RN!!! BUT ANYWAYS, I'm feeling SO much better 😋 I think I might make that cheesecake thing I mentioned a few anon asks ago today, and probably clean up a bit. I admit I really let the place go for a sec, dishes have unfortunately piled up a bit 😔

ALSO HELLOOOOO??? MEGUMI AND Y/N?? BRO Y/N NEEDS TO STOP THINKING THAT MEGUMI IS ALWAYS AFTER HER!! 😭😭 POOKS LIKE I GET IT, BUT DAMN?? WTH HAPPENED FOR YOU TO HATE HIM SO MUCH, AND HAVE YOU BELIEVE THAT HE HATES YOU SO MUCH TO THE POINT WHERE HE WOULD WANT TO EMBARRASS YOU?? 💀 I'm SO invested. I woke up a few hours ago and saw that you had posted 2 yesterday, but I was like "its still late so I'm taking my happy ass back to bed, I'll read it when I wake up". It's the first thing I did when I arose from my slumber.

Also the boyfriend thing, he at least acts lovey sometimes, but yeah I get what you're saying 😔💔 I just really REALLY love him, and he'll express his love from time to time. I just don't know if he likes me or is just playing me, it'll be 4 months on the 11th, so I'm hoping that this is just one of those relationship phases and we'll work on it or something 😭 We've been okay for the most part tho, idk relationships are difficult sometimes, but I'm more than willing to go through more than difficult for him 😞 Bro has me folded like I've never been before? Help?

PLEASE THOUGH MY FRIEND AND TEACHERS DYNAMIC IS SO WEIRD?? SHE LITERALLY CALLS HIM A LITTLE GAY MAN 😭 HE LETS HER TOO? SHE EVEN INVITED ME INTO A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO CALL HIM THAT? 💀 She sees him as an older brother, and I could see why, he lwk acts like this other dude I know 😔 I miss you W 💔 But anyways, it's just funny to see them go back and forth with eachother 💀

ANYWAYS. 💀💀 What's your favorite song? 🤔 Tbh I couldn't tell you mine, not that anything is wrong with it, I just FR can't decide what my favorite song is 😭 Having a hard time deciding my favorite color too 💀

ANYWAYS GONNA CLEAN (if I dont procrastinate) SO GOODBYE MY DEAREST AXEL

XOXO 👽

YAYAYYAYA SO PROUD OF U BAEEE!!! SO GLAD UR SLEEPPING SCHEDULE IS GOING GOOD! I HOPE CLEANING GOES WELL N UR CHEESE CAKE COMES OUT YUMMY 😎😎😎

NAH FR LIKE HAS YN EVER THOUGH MAYBE HE ISNT DETERMINED TO MAKE THEIR LIFE A LIVING HELL LIKE THEY THINK HE IS?? 😭😭

bae… idk… i’m still team break up with him even after reading that… cause i feel like it’s usually the opposite four months in where they were rlly sweet before and NOW they’re showing their true colors but also fuck do i know i’m not in ur relationship so take what i say with a grain of salt if u want… DO WHAT U THINK IS BEST ILY !

HELPPP NOT A LITTLE GAY MAN LFMOAOA THATS SO SILLY

ermmmm …. yeah i cant decide either… i love so many songs and i feel like i’m betraying them if i only pick one of them😭😭😭😭

#axel answers ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★#axel answers// 👽

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harrywritingsbyme · 3 years

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Full

Anonymous Said: pls cnc with daddy H plsssss

Based Off Of This Ask

A/N: Okay...so as I was writing this, I realized just how much I loved this concept. Like it’s so soft, but also rlly spicy(and I added a shit ton of spice on top of that...you’re welcome). There’s some soft cnc in here too. So I hope y’all like it...this is kinda breaking me out of the whole not being motivated to write even tho I have ideas in my head that I’m dying to expand on and do a fic about them thing I’ve been on since my last fic. And since this is my first fully written fic in a good lil while, I hope it doesn’t suck too bad and I hope you guys love ittt...enjoy🙃

3.7k wordsss

You were having a little bit of a rough night. For the most part, everything was going fine ever since you went to bed a couple hours earlier. You were in your favorite and incredibly comfy sleep shirt, you were all cuddled up and cozy in Harry’s arms, and there was a cute little plug nestled inside your second entrance. Well, you had a cute little plug nestled inside of you.

After your initial cuddles with Harry that ultimately sent you both right to sleep, you started to move around a bit in your sleep. While Harry thought it was absolutely adorable, you always went to bed with a mission of trying not move around too much. But no matter how much you thought you could keep still, you really couldn’t. You just loved your sleep and couldn’t help but to roll around. Especially if it meant that you were getting a good nights rest. Now most nights while you were doing your nightly rolls(or competing in the sleep olympics as Harry liked to call it) you rolled around your side of the bed(and into Harry)without your plug falling out. You were able to keep it safe and sound inside of you for the whole night usually and not have to worry about losing it inn the sheets. That was most nights, but not tonight. As you were peacefully sleeping next to, or directly on Harry at some points, the bunny plug you chose for the night managed to slip out of you and into the sheets. Now you didn’t wake up immediately after it slipped out of you, but you did wake up not too long after. And when you did wake up, you felt different. Not only were you incredibly close to falling asleep again, you also felt empty. You’d grown so used to having your second hole filled every night and pretty much all the time for that matter, that you were desperate to find your plug and push it back inside.

See, Harry was beyond obsessed with pushing these princess plugs as he liked to call them into you. Their main purpose is to train your second entrance so that you could be adjusted enough to eventually take more inside and be more comfortable in the process. The whole idea of training and stretching you to fit his cock inside was absolutely amazing to him and quite the turn on as well. And even after pushing into your “glorious” second entrance, Harry still wanted to use the plugs on you. He wanted you to always be stretched and ready for his cock. With that being said Harry was always on top of you having one inside at all times. When you went to bed at night, he’d let you choose which plug you liked the most for that night and he’d pull you over his lap so that he play with you a bit and ease the pretty accessory into you. And he’d do the exact same thing in the morning when you were just out of the shower(or bath; he liked to spoil you in the morning if he went rough on you the night before). And when he wasn’t at home to fill you himself, he’d instruct you to call him via FaceTime right after your shower. No matter the time, or what he was doing in that moment, he’d always step away to answer your call. And he always did just that. Once you were in contact with him, you have your ritual morning/first conversation of the day, and then he goes about instructing you on how to fill your second entrance.

The first step in the process would be choosing your plug…which could be pretty hard sometimes. Throughout you guys’ time working on your much tighter hole, a large collection of pretty plugs was acquired. There was a range of sizes that showed your progress(which Harry was incredibly proud of by the way), and each size had an array of different colors, materials, and shapes. You were hands down obsessed with all of them and you hated when it was time to choose a new one. There were even a couple glass plugs that were designated for when Harry really wanted to play with you, or for when he wanted you to look extra pretty. And along with those and the other plugs, there were two vibrating plugs that were slightly larger than the rest, and they had either a jewel of a fluffy bunny tail on top. Both were designated for when Harry wanted to make a mess of you or for when you were being punished. They were also kept in Harry’s box of toys, the box you weren’t allowed to go in. But back to your wide array of options and choosing just one of them. As you looked through the toys, Harry would give you some suggestions and help you choose the best one for the day.

And once you’ve chosen your princess plug for the day, you head back over to the bed. Harry then instructs you to prop your phone up against the pillows at the head of the bed so that he could get the perfect view of what you were doing. He’d then tell you to get the lube he always uses on you from the drawer of his side table, and bend over in front of him; well, him through the phone. From that point on, he guides you through the final steps of filling your second hole and he gets to watch it all. And hear your whines too. He thought you sounded so cute as you spread the lube around the area, and when you start to nudge the plug past the tight ring of muscles, or when you felt the lube sliding down to your already glistening pussy. Once your nice and filled, Harry would sing your praises. All the way through you guys’ explosive round of phone sex, and he wouldn’t stop until the phone is hung up.

So yeah, with all that being said, you were definitely not used to being empty like you were now. Especially since Harry always made sure to keep you filled at all times. Even when he was away! After feeling around for your princess plug and turning up with nothing, you started to get quite frustrated. And on top of that you were starting so slip into your subspace. All you wanted at this point was for Harry to find your plug, fill you back up, cuddle with you, and go back to sleep together. That’s it. You hated to wake him up but you were slipping further into your subspace and you were feeling needy. So even enough you didn’t want to, you try and wake Harry up. You begin to softly whisper in his ear and nudge at his shoulder to wake him. And after about a minute or so you were able to successfully wake Harry up a little bit.

“What’s the matter darling.” He asks concernedly, his words slurred and his voice heavily overcome with sleep, so deep it sent a little shock to your core.

“Can’t find my princess plug daddy!” You softly whine to him, your voice laced with your need for Harry to make you feel better.

“It’s alright baby, daddy gonna find it for you.” He softly replies, waking up more and more as he talked to you.

“Please daddy, feel so empty.” You mumble in response.

“Daddy’s gonna get you all filled up again, don’t you worry sweetheart.” He reassures, lifting his head from the pillows to lean over and press a small kiss to your nose before completely lifting himself up. He then pulls the covers off of his body and stands up from the bed. “M’gonna turn the light on now.” He warns, giving you a chance to prepare yourself before turning lamp on his bedside table on to start his search for your plug.

He pulls the covers back from the top of the bed to expose you and the expanse of the bed before proceeding to shake the covers in hopes of shaking the plug out of them. But there was no plug to be found, leaving the floor as the last option for the location of the missing plug. He starts by checking the floor on his side of the bed where he was standing to see if he narrowly missed stepping on it when he got up. Upon confirming that it was not was not on the floor in his area, Harry begins to walk around the bed, coming to a halt when he reaches your side.

“There you are.” He mumbles to himself, his eyes stopping on the pretty blue bunny plug that was lying on the floor next to the bed. Following the direction of his eyes, you peer over the edge, your eyes stopping in the same place as his. Harry then leans down to pick the accessory up. “Gonna have to pick another one sweets. Gotta clean it in the morning.” He groans after leaning over, giving you a little pout once he’s fully standing.

“Still wanna be a bunny.” You reply simply, stating your preference as to what plug you’d like to have.

“Okay” He chuckles at your cute and very simple answer. “And what color sweets?” He asks, beginning to back up in the direction of the closet.

“Hmm, pink please.” You decide. “Thank you daddy.” You continue, sending him a soft smile in the process.

“Anything for my girl.” He replies, mirroring your smile and sending you a little wink before disappearing into the closet. He makes a b-line to the drawer with all of your plugs and plucks the pretty pink bunny plug that was exactly the same, all the way down to the size, as the last one. He then places the blue plug on one of the nearby shelves as a reminder to clean it and put it back in the drawer before turning out the light and heading back to you, keeping his hands with the plug behind his back. When he enters back into the room, he walks over to the bed, revealing the new plug to you once he reaches the end of the bed. Harry then, very simply and very nonchalantly, wags his finger around to signal you to turn around and get in position. And you immediately do just that. You turn yourself around at the top of the bed and you pull your sleep shirt up a bit to make sure it’s not blocking anything. When Harry sees this, he couldn’t stop his cock from twitching in his boxers. You were so eager to have your little hole filled again that you were going to do any and everything he said.

Wasting no more time just standing there, Harry quickly walks over to his bedside table to grab the lube before crawling onto the bed behind you. Since you were on your hands and knees, Harry could see everything, causing his cock to harden even more in his pants. Whenever he fills your much tighter hole, Harry always makes sure that you’re comfortable in the process. So before doing anything, Harry reaches up and grabs a pillow from the top of the bed so you can have your hips lifted and not have to be on all fours or have your back arched. He tucks it underneath your hips, and then proceeds to instruct you to just lay down and relax against the bed. Harry then pushes your thighs apart spreading you a bit wider before crawling on top of your plushy thighs.

“Now pull em apart f’me baby.” He instructs, lightly tapping at your backside. And within seconds, Harry is watching you grip onto the flesh of your ass before pulling it apart to fully reveal yourself to him. “Look at that little hole. Absolutely amazing how it takes all of me inside.” He admires. When he sees your little hole contract below him, Harry couldn’t help but chuckle a little behind you. “I take it someone is excited.” He states playfully, bringing a finger down to poke at the tightened opening, causing you to clench up even more around his finger. He then grabs the bottle of lube from beside him and pops it open before squeezing a good amount of it down onto your hole. To ensure that you’re nice and ready for him so start pushing it back in, Harry brings two fingers down to spread the lube around, concentrating on your entrance. He then closes the bottle and drops it onto the bed, replacing it with the plug itself. Harry slots the head of it between his fingers and brings it down to your entrance. “Now be a good girl and relax f’me baby.” He whispers from behind, nudging the tip against your entrance. “Daddy’s got you.” He reassures, beginning to push the plug further. As he does this, he can hear faint whimpers and moans leaving your mouth, prompting him to whisper sweet reassurances to you and making his now incredibly hard cocks presence known.

Once the plug is fully inside, Harry gives your ass a little tap, signaling to you that you could let go. When you do, Harry just sits there and admires your backside. He couldn’t help but to fall in love with how cute the tail looked on you. To him, you looked like a proper little bunny. A proper, and utterly fuckable, little bunny. To him in this moment, you were his little fuck bunny. And he could really go for a good fuck. Especially considering how hard he was right now. There was no way he was going to bed with a rock hard cock. Especially when you’re so readily available to him.

“Now what do you say after daddy has plugged you up so nicely?” Harry coos, lifting himself from you momentarily to shove his boxers off.

“Thank you daddy.” You happily sigh, content with the feeling of your ass being filled again. You then begin to turn back onto your side but Harry is quick to push you back down onto your front, spread your legs back, and get back on top of you to keep you down. “What are you doing daddy?” You ask, completely confused as to what was going on.

“Well daddy just wanted to give himself a treat for waking up in the middle of the night.” He says, bringing a hand down between your legs to your cunt.

“Just wanna sleep daddy.” You whine, trying to move around below him.

“Well you can baby, once m’done with you.” He simply replies, pushing his fingers between your sticky folds and against your weepy little hole.

“No daddy!” You whine into the pillow below, trying to protest his actions and not let out a loud moan instead.

“Stop being a little brat and just take my cock Y/n.” Harry groans, using his other hand to tug at his cock. Harry then moves himself closer to your center and lays himself on top of you, his mouth landing right at your ear, keeping one of his hands wrapped around his cock. He lifts his hips up from yours and blindly maneuvers his cock so that it’s hovering over your entrance. “And if you really meant that, you know what to do.” Harry reminds, referring to the safe word the two of you’d set when it came to your activities in the bedroom whether they were planned or not. Whatever it may have been, if either of you used it, everything stopped. The both of you, especially Harry though, took it seriously and wanted to make sure that it was there and known.

As he reminds you of the safe word though, Harry begins to push his cock right into you. Sending you into a complete frenzy. Your protests came to a halt and your moans began. You were loudly moaning at the feeling of his cock sliding into you and completely filling you up. It felt so goo and you were so happy Harry kept going because you felt absolutely amazing. Once he’s fully inside, Harry takes a moment to get his bearings. You were a complete mess below him and he was beyond overwhelmed with how good you felt around him. Harry wanted to just have a good lazy fuck that would put you two right to bed. But with your pussy feeling like this around his cock, Harry was literally incapable of going slow. There was just something about your wetness and juices that unlocked his carnal desire to just fuck you. And on top of that, whenever you were subby, your sensitivity tended to be heightened. Which meant that you’d be a moaning mess the entire time and it would only take two seconds for you to explode around him. Also, Harry just loved pounding you and taking complete control over you when you were in your subby space. He was already in control, but this was so much more. So instead of pausing any longer, Harry dives right in and begins delivering the quickest, deepest, and hardest thrusts he possibly could.

“Daddy!” You shout, feeling him slam into the deepest part of you over and over again. You could feel the carnal desire he had in his thrusts. You could also hear it in the way he growled into your ear. While you loved being coddled while in your subspace, you also loved being controlled. Harry was just slamming his cock into you over and over agin, trying to relieve the pressure in his cock. Sure he wanted you to feel good, but he was more concerned with pleasuring himself and using your body to do just that. And in the process of doing that, he was making you feel like you were soaring.

As he continues with his beyond intense thrusts, Harry felt like he was on cloud nine. The way you were clenching up around him and just taking it all was extraordinary to him. You were being such a good girl and doing so well for him, taking his pounding and loving every second of it. He even made sure to tell you how good of a girl you were being, and even promised to fill your tummy with all of his cum if you kept being a good girl. And that you did. You continued to let him take you hard from behind and make you scream into the pillows. As the rhythm he had going with his hips continues, Harry alternates between lying right on your back and pinning your hips down and just mounting you so to speak. Sometimes he just wanted to see your little tail and watch his cock disappear into the magical cave as he liked to describe it, that was your cunt. Seeing that on top of hearing your cries out to daddy about how deep he was inside, how big he was, how rough he wad going on you, and how good it felt made it all ten times better and pushed Harry closer to his release.

“Such a good little fuck bunny f’me” Harry grunts into your ear, back to lying on top of you. “What are you doll?” He growls, staggering his thrusts to make them harder.

“A fuck bunny!” You shout, struggling to form those three words.

“And who do you belong to?” He growls, slamming his hips down into you again, demanding a prompt response from you.

“You daddy!” You reply through another whimper. As you replied to him, the part of your legs that weren’t pinned down flailed back and forth as you took each power and pleasure packed thrust.

“Good girl. Now put it all together; I am…” He begins, leaving the rest for you to finish.

“Daddy’s fuck bunny!” You reply wearily, struggling to get the words out.

“Good girl!” He praises (with a tinge of condescension in his voice), going back to his rough and very deep, continuous thrusts. “M’so glad you’re a good fuck bunny don’t mind daddy tearing you up inside.” He grunts, feeling a familiar rumbling in the pit of his stomach as he continues on. “Wanna cum sweets?” Harry pants a few moments later, continuing to push his cock in and out of you, his thrusts turning into humps more and more as his release gets near.

“Please daddy!” You softly cry, feeling a throbbing sensation mounting in your clit.

“Want you t’hump the pillow baby. Dig that greedy little clit of yours down into the pillow for daddy.” He instructs, almost guiding your movements against the pillow. He could hear your whines turn into desperate whimpers. He could feel your walls begin to contract around his cock. And he could feel his own release beginning to take over him. After a couple digs into the pillow, you couldn’t hold it any longer. You let go right then and there, prompting Harry to follow your lead. As you were riding the seismic waves of your release, Harry was releasing everything he had to give. The both of you riding the waves of your releases.

When Harry can feel most of his body again, he lifts himself from your back and leans over to turn the light out. He then pulls you both onto your sides with him right behind you, and pulls the comforter that was abandoned earlier up onto you both.

“Nice and full sweetheart?” He asks, circling his hand around your lower stomach before removing it from around you and bringing it back between the two of you. “This nice and snug? Don’t want it to come out again.” He asks, pushing the plug into you a bit more.

“Perfect daddy.” You sigh, still in a daze from everything Harry did to you.

“You just love being filled up, don’t you baby.” Harry hums, chuckling at how happy you were now that you’re completely filled up.

“Mhm!” You happily hum, beginning to doze off.

“Well m’gonna keep you nice and full, and make sure you sleep real good baby.” He says before pressing a kiss to your cheek, Keeping himself tightly wrapped around you. Keeping his cum, his cock, and your pretty little princess plug safe and sound inside you.

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imtooscaredforthis · 2 years

Text

Tethered

Part I- Chapter 10: Charity

Mentions of: Tooth rotting fluff, little shit children, and nothing rlly

A/N: YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED IVE BEEN FOR THIS CHAPTER AGAGAGSGSG

Tags: @prettycutebunny @froegis @autisticpickle @dead-bxtch-walking @moonshineinasippycup

You’ve been to a few charity drives before with your parents. They always prioritized others’ needs before their own, and it was what they taught you, despite how little you had in your childhood, you were taught to give to others, not to take for yourself.

Today, you, Frank, Emily, and Ms.Anderson worked at the foster drive. Unsurprisingly, both Frank and Emily complained the whole day. “Mommy, my feet hurt. Can I go sit down?”

“Fine, but after a few more boxes.” Ms.Anderson replied with a sigh, taking a box of clothes and placing it into a van.

Emily rolled her eyes, passing you a box. She barely did anything today, besides complain, and maybe carry a box or two.

“Yeah, finish up while the rest of us have to work, brat,” Frank muttered, once Ms.Anderson was out of earshot. The little girl glared daggers back at him, sticking her tongue out and running off.

Muttering insults under his breath, Frank glanced over at you, noticing you looking at him. “What?”

“Nothing, just, you don’t have to be so miserable, you know. We’re helping people.” You told him, grabbing another box to load up the vehicle.

“I’m nice enough, I don’t have to do this bull to prove it.” That made you snicker, cracking up slightly, and doing your best not to burst out laughing. “It’s not funny! I have been nicer. I mean, I haven’t hurt or threatened anyone in..a while..”

“Good job Frank. I’m proud of you.” You said sarcastically, a few laughs slipping out.

–

A few more hours passed where you continued working, with a few breaks in between. By the end of it, you were exhausted, and your back was sore from bending over and picking up boxes all day.

When you were finally finished, you were prepared to go right back home and relax, but it seemed like your plans changed. “When you guys get home, I want you to find something nice to wear. The neighborhood’s having a dance for the charity drive, as well as a fundraiser tonight!”

Frank groaned, slumping against his seat. You understood how he felt, considering how tired you were, but you also couldn’t help but feel excited, too.

“C’mon, don’t be like that Frank. It’s going to be fun! It’s like a reward for all the hard work we did today.” You said with a grin, but he seemed much less enthusiastic.

“I don’t want to be rewarded, I just want to go to sleep.” He complained, making you sigh and shake your head.

Once you arrived home, you ran upstairs, going through a box of your clothes, and finding an old dress. It was slightly worn, but still pretty. It wasn’t too formal, with a nice, slightly faded, pink color, with a bow tied around the right side of your waist.

After putting it on, you walked down the stairs to meet with Ms.Anderson. Emily was already sitting at the table, glaring at you. “Ew, you look ugly.”

“Emily! That’s not nice. Apologize right now.” Ms.Anderson told her, making the little girl mutter out a small “sorry.” She looked over at you, with a big smile.

“Oh honey, you look beautiful.” She complimented, making your cheeks grow warm. “Thank you, can you help me zip up the back?”

“Of course.” You turned your back to her, letting her zip your dress up completely. You took a seat at the kitchen table beside Emily, waiting for Frank to come downstairs.

A couple of minutes went by, and he walked down with jeans and a jean jacket on, nothing much different from what he was wearing before. “Frank, you look nice…”

But he wasn’t listening, instead glancing over at you. He was looking at you for way too long. It got to the point where he wasn’t listening to what anyone was saying, just mumbling “mhm”s and “yeah”s, nodding along.

“Stop being such a weirdo!” Emily yelled at him, kicking him in the leg and managing to break him out of his trance-like state.

“Ow! You little brat!” He snapped at the girl, making you giggle. He hid his face in his jacket, his cheeks pink with embarrassment. “Let’s just go already.”

–

The fundraiser was really fun. You ate a lot of sweets and junk food and danced. You mostly danced with kids, some you knew, some you didn’t, but you did dance with a few adults too.

You loved to dance. It was one of your favorite things. The joy and happiness on others’ faces, the music and the rhythm, and the overall feeling of togetherness it brought you. It was amazing.

You tried getting Frank to dance with you, but he refused, opting to sit at the table and watch instead. Eventually, you grew tired of dancing, wanting to go over to talk with him.

“I can’t believe you don’t like dancing. C’mon, you gotta be bored out of your mind just sitting here.” You said as you joined him at the table.

“It’s stupid, and I don’t even know how to dance anyways.” He muttered, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat. “Well, I can teach yo-”

“No!”

“Alright, alright. What do you want to do then?” You asked. He scratched his chin in thought, before answering.

“We can go skip rocks at the lake. Wanna do that?” You jumped up from your seat, grabbing his hand and leading him down to the docks.

It was quiet and peaceful at the lake, nothing but the sound of crickets, water hitting the sand, and the music from the fundraiser playing softly in the distance.

Fireflies flickered around, and you watched as Frank picked up a rock, skipping it across the water. You picked up your own, trying to skip it, only to have it sink.

“You’re not moving your wrist right. You need to flick it. Like this.” Frank showed you, skipping another rock.

“So like that?” You imitated the motion. He shook his head. “No, you’re doing it too soft. It’s rough and quick, like this.”

He took your hand, moving it for you. “Now try it again.”

You threw it the same way he taught you, skipping it far over the water and smiling. He grinned back at you. “Told you it would work.”

“Yeah, yeah, you were right. You don’t have to rub it in.” You rolled your eyes, with a smirk.

You two continued skipping rocks for a bit, before you grew tired of it, choosing to sit down on the edge of the dock. After skipping another rock, Frank sat down beside you.

“It’s such a nice night, isn’t it?” You gazed up at the starry night sky, smiling. But Frank wasn’t looking at the sky. He was looking at you. “Yeah.”

“You look really pretty.” The words slipped out, making you look over at him in shock. The next thing you knew he leaned over, pressing a small kiss to your lips, pulling away.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, as you processed what just happened. Then, you started laughing. Not a taunting laugh, but a laugh of disbelief as well as one of realization. “I knew it.”

“Ever since you pushed me and started those rumors. I knew you liked me.” You grinned. “My mom always told me boys are meaner to the girls they like. Looks like she was right.”

“So…what now?” Frank asked.

“I have no idea.”

#dead by deadlight #dbd #dbd killer #dbd x reader #dbd legion #legion frank #frank morrison #legion dbd #frank morrison x reader #dbd frank #frank dbd #frank legion #dbd fanfic #killer x reader #killer x you

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kkeidawrites · 3 years

Note

AHHH idk rlly know if you still do requests but if u still do could u do Adrian tepes x black reader

Where after the battle in season 2 reader initially went with sypha and trevor to help them with whatever they were gonna do but y/n ends missing adrian (and was tired of those to goofing all the time) so in the dead of night y/n takes some supplies and runs back to the castle. And when she sees the castle in sight she throws open the doors and starts looking for alucard

(Fluff)

Ur account is like my safe place I don't find many black readers/ writers so I absolutely love your posts ❤❤

Thank you so much for saying that I do try when I write and I want people to be inspired to write more black reader stories or actually more black leads in stories’ I’m not sure if you wanted the reader to be male/female or gender neutral, so you can decide as you read along! And yes, I am still open to requests!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$&$$$$$$$$$$$$$&$$$$$$$$$$

It was like a breath of fresh air when Y/n saw the looming infamous castle of Walachia. Y/N had made the decision to leave with Trevor and Sypha, thinking it was the best decision. But was it? As the covered wagon rolled down the dirt path leading away from the castle, Y/N felt her heart break.

Y/N could tell as the three of them departed the widowed dhampir, that he did not want them to leave. As Y/N thought about it, after being away for two weeks, that when Dracula’s reign had ended, Trevor and Sypha felt that they needed to leave right after. Y/N thought their abrupt departure was selfish both on their part and on Y/N’s as well.

Y/N still didn’t know what the original plan was in the first place when getting on that wagon with Sypha and Trevor. Y/N felt it was the right thing to do. Was it the right thing to do? The question constantly whispered in Y/N’s head.

The wagon stopped one evening and Trevor suggested that they rest here and continue on to Argeis come morn. Sypha noticed Y/N’s quiet nature that evening, usually when she and Trevor were arguing or playful banter, Y/N would chime in but it seemed that entire week, her playful quips wasn’t heard as much as Sypha thought.

It concerned the Speaker and she questioned if there was anything wrong. Y/N gave off a wavered yes of being alright and told the Speaker that only the thoughts rattling in the mind was all that was wrong.

Sypha didn’t question Y/N anymore and rolled over in the wagon to get some much needed and deserved sleep. Y/N opted to sleep outside to ponder the thoughts plaguing them. Twisting and turning in the sleeping bag, didn’t help at all and Y/N sat up with a huff.

Y/N felt anxious. This wasn’t the life planned out, not like this, not alone. Well, other than Trevor and Sypha’s presence, Y/N felt alone in the Wallachian world.

Where Y/N forlorn, the color of your skin was dark and your hair was kinky and coiled. The heat of the country seemed like second nature and the many animals that roamed and only seen in that country was its own majesty.

Someone completely different than what you saw in Walachia. Y/N was born to a single mother, their father had been killed by those accursed night monsters and since then Y/N had made it their mission to become a strong dual swordsman, studying under the elders of the people under the sun and learning the medicines that would keep them alive in this world.

Y/N and Alucard’s meet was an interesting one. Their initial meeting was when the trio were on their way to Dracula’s castle and night creatures had made their appearance in Gresit where Y/N was vacating after evacuating Lupu.

Y/N was fighting off the monsters in Gresit and saved a couple of children when the trio arrived and made light work of the rest. Y/N didn’t want anyone to know that they existed and made haste to leave in the shadows to avoid the people most importantly the church.

In the past, Y/N’s mother was subjected by the church in Lupu for her darker skin. Believing that such dark skin was the skin of a demon raised from Hell to walk along humans. Y/N’s mother, a spitfire set the priest straight and told him if Devil wanted to have her raise death and destruction on Earth then he would have asked for it already.

It also didn’t help the fact that the priest’s goons would come after Y/N and Y/N’s mother, harassing them all the time and trying to run them out of town. Y/N’s mother always stood strong and fought those goons off whenever they tried to get physical; sending them back to their puppet master with their strings twisted.

So, it was no surprise when Y/N had met the trio by accidentally running into the dhampir while attempting to escape through an alley. His solid figure made Y/N’s hood fall off their head and the coils of their hair is what brought the attention of the trio.

Alucard made a comment, curious about the coils, it was almost childlike when he asked. Y/N was thrown off guard by the question and made haste to leave the area quietly but the speaker stopped Y/N asking if they were familiar with the area and where they could get a covered wagon.

Y/N didn’t answer her question and moved to leave once more only to be stopped once more, by the dhampir again. His calm demeanor and honeyed words brought Y/N’s attention to the man. At first, Y/N mind was not on talking to anyone but, once their eyes found Alucard’s gold ones Y/N was intrigued.

As a help them help you situation, Y/N was persuaded by Sypha to help them end Dracula’s murderous reign and Y/N agreed. Y/N didn’t care if Alucard was the son of Dracula, it was the fact that Y/N’s mother lived in Argeis and the thought of her killed by the creatures of the night didn’t sit right.

In the little time the four were together, it seemed that Alucard and Y/N were the first to interact with one another more than Sypha and Trevor. They could relate with one another in a way, both their mothers strong, smart and knowing that helping people no matter the ideas they had or if they didn’t want it, was deserved to anyone.

When his father had died, Y/N was there by his side to shield him from the swirling ashes of hell demons as a way to let him know that it was alright to grieve his father.

Y/N had made her decision. Staying with Trevor and Sypha was fun but, this wasn’t the life Y/N sought for.

Going to the wagon, Y/N swiped a small bag of food, just some cheeses and bread and left behind a quick note to Sypha and a little joke to Trevor’s smell then left to return to the castle.

Presently, Y/N walked up the stone steps to the large double doors of the castle and didn’t care to knock. Pushing open the doors, Y/N marveled the recently cleaned up entrance hall, the furnished red rugs were either burnt or ripped and the statues were all destroyed.

“Alucard?” Y/N calls and makes haste to the twin stairwell.

Now that they were here, Y/N needed to find the dhampir and tell him how sorry they were for leaving him behind. For leaving him alone.

“Alucard!” Y/N made their way up the two flights of stairs, searching for the dhampir.

Where could he have gone? Y/N’s mind scrambled for any explanation or idea as to where he could have gone.

“The Hold!” Y/N exclaimed and rushed down the two flights, hoping that he would not leave in time for Y/N to find him.

However, as soon as Y/N reached the entrance hall, the man of the hour was walking up the right side of the two stairwells and paused on the third step up, his eyes wide from realization of Y/N’s sudden appearance. His right hand gripped the small yellow basket and Y/N’s eyes widened then lowered in relief.

“Alucard…there you are.” Y/N sighed, grateful that he was alright and made their way down the same stairwell to see him closer.

“I was worried something happened to you, you know this castle is big as hell-”

“Y/N.” Alucard’s quiet gasp of their name made Y/N grin as they grew closer to him.

“I think being with Sypha and Trevor for too long has made you forget me, Alucard. That’s not nice. I thought we were friends? You don’t forget your friends-”

Arms wrapped around Y/N’s waist and a warm body hugged their front as Alucard sighed into Y/N’s coily hair, inhaling their scent to make himself sure that they were real and here in his arms.

“I could never forget you, Y/N…never ever.” He told Y/N. Y/N arms wrapped around him just as snug and rubbed their cheek into his bird chest, a smile gracing their lips.

“Will you stay?” His question makes Y/N look up at him and their smile grows wider as they nodded.

“Yes. I will stay.”

#castlevania #fanfiction #alucard #my writing #black reader #black!reader #adrian tepes #castlevania!alucard x reader #black oc

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lesserfandomappreciation · 3 years

Note

can i request fluff or sfw headcanon of alucard with a short s/o who work as a sniper for hellsing but also is rlly good as a photographer please?

Alucard x short!sniper!photographer! s/o (Hellsing)

I apologize to all my short darlings ahead of time. A vampire who has lived for centuries should have some concept of manners. Alucard does. He just threw them out the damned window somewhere back in the 1800s and has not used them since. S/o being short isn't a concern, it's an invitation to tease them and he is living for it.

Forget the shoulder rest joke. They're getting picked up and handled like a doll for the hell of it. They're upset? Why? Paperwork? No, you don't need to do that right now. Stay up here - not that you have much choice in the matter. He's got super strength and when Alucard is stubborn, he makes Integra seem easily movable by comparison.

Sniper work doesn't particularly interest him. Seras does it often as well. Hellsing members have to fight somehow - fighting from a long distance away from danger is a bonus to keep his love out of danger (a quiet reassurance to Alucard about their safety), but he's otherwise ambivalent on those talents.

Photography, though. Now that's interesting.

Take into account this man's first selfies were oil on canvas and cost fortunes. Technology developed at a rapid pace alongside his lifetime, technology that Alucard hasn't always paid much heed to. A box that captures your image sans the color? Hm. Cute. Then he's stuck in a cell for who knows how long and now it takes seconds and there's color and there's an art to it - what happened while he was chained up?!

Life is unstoppable but s/o captures it. All the colors of life on vibrant display, motion made still and placed onto a piece of paper casually. As if they hadn't somehow contained a bit of essence of existence onto a single image. Blue and orange feathers of a kingfisher diving into water, there on a square of paper, stun Alucard silent for the first time in centuries. And he is obsessed.

He tries not to show it, but s/o knows. Their pictures are lined up for him to see and he silently watches, observes each one, memorizing the colors, the motions, the breaths of each frame. They contain in them lives the vampire has never known, never will know. They're snapshots into completely different worlds than his own.

Memories blur the longer you live. Immortal minds are less images and more vague blobs of color shaped into once familiar glimpses. Photographs are crisp reminders, artifacts of life that never stale or break.

His s/o notices some of their work missing. Perhaps on purpose they start leaving more photos out, of co-workers and Seras and Integra and glimpses of Alucard and of the outside world. Perhaps they know that beneath the manor, a wall full of framed photos are watched over carefully from the comfort of his chair, where he is able to appreciate each one fully and forever.

#alucard #hellsing imagine #imagine #imagines #I was not expecting to make myself sad #but okay here we go #poor alucard #thank you for this request!

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jaeminzie · 3 years

Text

lion boy | l.mh

↳ mark lee x fem!reader

synopsis: you would never ruin your slytherin image by exposing your crush on the gryffindor head boy. but for mark lee, you’d put it into consideration.

genre: fluff

word count: 2,074

a/n: a new series hehe, i’ve been procrastinating on this but i’m rlly proud with how it turned out ! mark lee best boy sigh ( also happy holidays :] )

part of ‘the dreamies in hogwarts’ series

“can you quit your act already?” your best friend pulled you through the hallways so powerfully causing both of your green robes to flap everywhere, gaining some raised eyebrows from the paintings surrounding your moving bodies. you continued to wince as her grip on your wrist became tighter and her strides became faster, you swear her heavy foot stomps could be heard throughout the castle.

you huffed in annoyance. your best friend has been side eyeing and sighing throughout the entirety of herbology whenever you spoke, but now she decides to speak to you. “what are you on about?” you let out a deep breath once she lets go off your wrist when you reached the restroom. thankfully, it was empty so no one can see you absolutely destroy your friend after she just destroyed your bones from dragging you too hard. “no need to drain all our energies, y/f/n, just talk to me.” you snapped but added a tad bit of sincerity, while dusting your robe.

she stood there, arms crossed and tapping her foot on the tile while watching you with grimace in her eyes. “infuriating, you are.”

“i’m quite aware, thank you very much.” you clicked your tongue and turned to the sink next to you to wash your sweaty hands, not sparing a glance at your friend stood in front of you.

the clicking sound on the tiles stopped and you could see her arms dropping by her sides in the corner of your eye. “you know i love you, right?” despite the wholesome meaning of her words, the way it sounded off her tongue seemed a different story.

breathlessly chucking at your friend, “you have an absurd way of showing it, but yes. i’m also aware of that.” you sighed, wiping your hands on your robe which made your friend cringe as she saw the water streaks appear on the ‘special’ robe.

“you’re the one to talk.” her arms made their way back up against her chest all crossed.

you furrowed your eyebrows so much that you could feel a headache coming. “okay now, what are you talking about?”

“always so oblivious, y/n.” she brought up her hand to tuck in a piece of your hair behind your ear, making you slap her hand away. “get out of my face before i hex you, mark lee.” she mimicked your voice and giggle using an obnoxiously high pitched tone. “you really need to work your on flirting skills.”

your face softened at the mention of his name, and began to heat up once your friend noticed the change in emotion in your eyes. you quickly replied before she could further taunt you, “saying that i want to hex someone means that i’m flirting with them? make it make sense.” you paused to roll your eyes. “and i don’t giggle.” you scoffed, trying your hardest to stop yourself from blushing.

“if you really do despise that boy like how you claim you do, you would’ve done it by now.” she poked your cheek with the tip of her wooden wand. “but you haven’t.” she smirked at you, waiting for the response she wanted but she was not going to get it out of you. at least, not that easily. after a good portion of silence, she dropped her smirk and waved her arms up in the air. “oh my god, just say you like him!”

“i am not saying i like a-“ you whisper, “-a gryffindor.” your friend rolled her eyes at your immaturity. “but is it really that obvious? do you think he’s noticed?”

and her smirk that you wanted to slap away made another appearance. “god no, lee has got to be the biggest dimwit of the school. i can’t believe he’s head-boy of gryffindor.”

you glared at her. “please, he’s not the biggest dimwit if you’re around.” you smiled at the satisfying reaction she gave. “it’s all out of love, babe.” you caressed her hair and reassured her since you were slightly fearing your life after the look she flashed you.

you began to walk out with your friend stomping behind you, clearing still frustrated as her plan didn’t go her way. though she wasn’t about to give up that easily, she needed both you and mark to stop rejecting your obvious feelings toward each other.

though, what both of you failed to hear were the giggles echoing in the bathroom. it seems like your best friend doesn’t have to work so hard for her plan to work.

—

it was a tiresome day and you wanted nothing more than to go back to your common room and relax with your peers. the whole day you’ve gotten weird looks and quick glances from people who you didn’t know even existed. you weren’t phased by it. as a slytherin, it wasn’t uncommon to get odd looks from the new students since they don’t know any better and stereotype. though, it seemed like everyone was looking.

a free period is all you needed, and that is what you had at the moment. using the precious time wisely, you chose the middle courtyard to spend time by yourself in. you walked your way to the area humming your favorite tune since you can finally get a break, then making yourself comfortable on the grass. sighing contently, you took in the fresh air and admired the greenery surrounding you before pulling out your potions book to study before attending after your free period.

being so focused on the words on the book that you barely understood, you didn’t notice the sudden shade casted upon you before hearing someone clear their throat from above you. you turned your head up to that someone — mark lee.

“uh hi,” he croaked. “free period?”

you laughed at the boy, making sure it sounded more like a scoff rather than a giggle. “yes.” you went back to reading the book laid on your lap, ignoring the boy dressed in red. you could honestly barf at how dashing he manages to look in that horrid color.

you could slightly see him fidgeting with his fingers as he tried to say some words, making your heart flutter. “oh same.” you made sure your hair covers majority of your face before smiling at his dry response. he was trying so hard but to him, it wasn’t enough. to you, it was enough to make you feel nauseous over how adorable he was being. god, your best friend would pay to see this moment. you rolled your eyes when you realized that you’d have to share what’s currently happening to your friend later. then she’d finally brag over how she was right all along, never ceasing a moment to use the fact that you’re head over heels over a lion boy against you. but there was nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to mark lee.

“what do you need?” you continued to flip the pages of the damaged book because you couldn’t show your tomato face just yet.

“okay uh-“ he cleared his throat. “i just wanted to inform you that there are rumors going around.”

“about?” you sounded completely uninterested in the topic which surprised mark. you became disappointed since you had hoped that he came to talk to you because he wanted to, not because he felt obligated to. you guess that’s what happens when you aren’t the sweetest to the boy you’ve liked for years.

“apparently, moaning myrtle heard your conversation with y/f/n earlier today and she’s been telling every girl who enters the loo.” he spoke cautiously, trying not to press the wrong buttons of yours.

you felt your heart race. though, you weren’t sure if it was out of nervousness or excitement. maybe both? yes both. you could feel the beating of your heart throughout your whole body and you hoped that mark couldn’t hear how embarrassingly loud it was. you stayed silent until you managed to piece yourself together enough to look at him. “and you’re telling me this because....?”

his voice cracked. “i don’t know. maybe because...” and he cleared his throat once again. “i like you too.” he shoved his hands in his pockets and made direct eye contact with you. you mentally applaud him for the courage, perfectly exhibiting his house’s prominent trait. but the long silence and you not attempting to create a response made his eyes look at everything besides you who calmly sat legs crossed on the grass. he failed to see the adoration that you have for him in your eyes as he was too busy worrying that he had made you ‘despise’ him even more.

mark, undeniably the most popular student in hogwarts, was the one standing above you and looking down at you, but it was obvious that you are the one whose got him wrapped around your finger.

you smirked slightly once you realized that you can have some fun in this. “you think that i’d have even the slightest interest on the muggle born, lion boy that you are?” you teased, quirking your eyebrows.

the overly nervous boy obviously didn’t catch the joking tone laced in your voice but being the gryffindor head-boy he is, mark puffed up his chest and spoke with full confidence. “yeah i do think that.” after getting no response from you, his chest fell down and his back began to hunch. replying with a soft tone that almost made your lip quiver, “i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have even believed in the rumors in the first place. i’ll tell everyone to st-“

the guilt became bigger and bigger the more he talked, and you just couldn’t take the image of him standing there not knowing what to do with his hands anymore. “well you’re right.”

mark’s eyes were popping out of his head with his mouth wide open. “seriously?”

“i mean, wasn’t i obvious?” you stood up and wiped your robe during the process.

he raised his eyebrow and refrained himself form laughing. “you truly have a special way of showing it then.” despite the lighthearted tone in his voice, he still couldn’t look at you.

“so i’ve been told.” you giggled, slightly covering your mouth with your fingers. giggled. mark thought. he immediately looked at you at the sound of your giggling since he’s never made you do that before, and it made his pride swell seeing your eyes crinkle and face glow red by his words.

mark was so entranced by your appearance, he’s never seen you like this before and he could definitely get used to it. so entranced that his body began moving for him, leaning closer and closer with his hands reaching for your waist.

before he was close enough to get a taste of your chapstick, you separated your lips with your index finger. you tutted, “not yet.”

“yet?”

you hummed at his question. “if you work hard enough.” you bend down to gather your books from the ground and mark followed your actions, handing your books.

“of course i will, you know me.” he teased while standing back up with you and flashed a side smile that caused the release of the butterflies caged in the pit of your stomach.

the bell rang, indicating the end of class which meant that everyone should be coming out now. you looked at mark once more, “fortunately.”

his smile grew but disappointment took over his face when he saw you barely stepping back from him.

before turning your back, you poked his chest with your pointer finger — getting surprised at how muscular he felt. wanting to have more fun, you leaned close to his ear and whispered, “i’m counting on you.”

the feeling of your lips brushing against his ear made mark’s face heat up and focus unclear. he only managed to see you strut into the hallways, leaving him flustered and shaking his head at your antics that he found so endearing.

mark continued to watch your figure become smaller and smaller the further you walked away, only getting pulled out of the trance once his friends called out his name. he looked back at you and was met with a genuine smile that you gave him, which made him stumble as he was trying to make his way to his fellow gryffindors. you’re going to make me lose my mind. mark thought. and you made sure to prove him right.

418 notes · View notes

konowhore · 3 years

Text

aoba johsai headcanons | watching a volleyball game with them

warning(s): spoilers from season 2-3, not proofreaded

a/n: these are,,, very long HAHA and i’m so sorry that these are like,,,,,, all ending with reader and bf sleeping LMAO...

prompt: you watch a volleyball game with your boyfriend. you didn’t realize that it was a game between the two teams his team lost to.

oikawa

PLEASE HE WAS SO BITTER IN SEASON 3 IT WAS SO FUNNY????

but anyways

he had dragged you to watch the shiratorizawa v. karasuno game bc ‘you’re my gf i need emotional support<3′

you didn’t really know much about volleyball, maybe the basics like positions, but you were still excited to watch

his ass would choose the seat farthest away from the court simply bc he didn’t want to be seen and he would make the snarkiest remarks while watching about how they played and you would just be like: .. yea.....

he’d realize that you’re a little confused abt what’s going on and then go:

“need me to explain anything princess?”

you lean into him and nod a bit, turning your head to smile up at him

his glasses reflect some light but he shifts them so he can look you in the eyes

cue you blushing bc the looks he gives you ?? <333 it makes ur heart cartwheel

anyways he rubs circles on the back of your hand with his thumb, explaining to you about the big play that just happened

you would just stare at him and take glances at the game because he was just so admirable

he knew so much, he played really well

you knew he worked so hard to try and get nationals, yet his team ended up not making it

out of the blue while you both sit and watch, you stretch up to kiss his cheek

oikawa, who usually isn’t too flustered, has pink-dusted cheeks when he looks at you

“yes princess...?”

“nothing, i just adore you.”

the growing smile on his face makes you giggle and rest your head on his shoulder

the game continues, oikawa continuing to make remarks about each team, observing the game

you get a little bored, hugging his arm and watch the ball go back and forth

oikawa pays really close attention tho bc he offers to take you home awwwwww

“if you’re tired we can go-”

“no it’s okay!! i like hearing your commentary uwu”

stop he’s so in love with you

like he would stare at you after that and just be all <3

and so you two stay for the whole game (you fell asleep some point,,,,,, woke up once to buy water LMAO)

watching volleyball with oikawa makes you realize how much he has a passion for it and you just admire him. so. much.

and oikawa would be so grateful that you’re so supportive and he’d tell you a thousand times after the game that he’ll do anything for you bc you tagged along and everything pls <3

matsukawa

you two hang out at your place and land upon the shiratorizawa vs karasuno game

you: aren’t those the teams you guys lost to

issei: yeah and what about it.

he’d jokingly pout and hide his face in your neck

“you’re mean </3″ he’d whine

you laugh and run your fingers through his hair

he grins, his hands going to rub your back as you two watch the game on the screen

you recognize some of the players from aoba johsai’s previous games, humming while watching them play

issei is only half paying attention

“well he’s cute,” you note, watching the camera pan through the karasuno members, only for it to stop on the captain

issei would roll his eyes and smack your ass a little LMAO

“he’s short,” he’d retort, chuckling soon after when you look at him and roll your eyes back at him

“okay and”

BYE HE’D JOKINGLY GET MAD AND GO “go date your new boyfriend then<3″

it’s all fun and games between you two tho and it’s soooo cute !!

he can be a little shit but

anyways you’re cheering for karasuno, occasionally going ‘look at their captain omg <3′

issei would sit up with you still straddling him and he’d just press kisses against your neck, making you giggle and try to push him away

“stopppppppp”

“not until you take your eyes off of him~”

you run your fingers through issei’s hair once more, smiling and leaning down to kiss him

“don’t worry issei, i’m all yours”

he’d lay back again, letting you lay on top of his chest

the game keeps going, you and mattsun sitting in comfortable silence while watching

your eyes are heavy and you don’t pay any attention to it

but then you wake up hours later, still on top of your bf’s rising chest

(pls i love him god i want to hug him and cuddle with him he’s so fucking cute <3333)

hanamaki

tbh semi was one of your old friends from middle school so he asked you to come to his game,,,

your boyfriend wanted to hang out with you so you asked if he wanted to go

HONESTLY he’d be like ‘since when did you talk to people from shiratorizawa’ but he’d be fine with it

maybe he’s a little bitter but lmao

you two go to look for your friend, and when you see him, you call his name and hug him

“eita!!”

makki: 🧍

semi: hi uwu

you would introduce them to each other all smiley

there’s tension and for what

semi: okay well i have to go warm up

you: bye eita ^^

makki:,,,

PLEASE????????

you two would sit close to the school section and holy shit is hiro glad that he didn’t wear his team jacket LMAO he would’ve gotten flamed

anyways not you cheering for eita even tho you have no idea what the fuck is going on lmao

hiro is amused and he just thinks you’re so cute tbh

he’s staring at you watching you yell out semi’s name even tho he wasn’t in the starting lineup help.

he’s such a dumbass tho pls

HE WOULD PURPOSELY BOO ONCE WHEN SHIRATORIZAWA SCORES THEIR FIRST POINT DAKJNDKJBJKD

not these girls staring at y’all um......

you’d scold him and he’s just :P

anyways you take a break from cheering and you sit, leaning on your boyfriend’s shoulder

“hiro are you doing okay?” you mumble, playing with his hand

“mhm, are you?”

you nod at his question and watch the game continue

“you sure you’re okay?? you seemed kinda tense, maybevenalittlejealous, when i introduced you to eita”

“i’m fine baby don’t worry”

him: me???????????? jealous>?????????????????? no.

YOU WOULD TEASE HIM SOOOO MUCH AND HE KEEPS DENYING IT EVEN THO HE VERY SECRETLY IS

after the game, you drag your boyfriend along with you to tell eita he did a good job

he’d give you a really big and long hug in which hanamaki is just standing there

you gush about how great eita was, earning a big smile from him

when you leave the gymnasium hand in hand with hanamaki, you cling onto his arm, your smile never leaving your face

“soooo did you like the game?” you ask, looking up at your unusually quiet boyfriend

“mhm”

“did you like meeting eita uwu”

“yeah-”

“were you jealous??”

“no comment.”

cue you teasing him while his cheeks become the same color as his pink hair

he’d just remove his arm from your grasp and then wrap it around your waist to pull you closer to him

(SORRY I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY .......)

iwaizumi

i know we all know this but iwaizumi hajime best bf idc !!!

he honestly wanted to go see the game bc he just wanted to see how the teams would play against each other

he had asked you if you wanted to tag along so you agreed

in all honestly, he didn’t think you would want to because you don’t usually seem interested in it whenever he talks about it, but in truth, you listen to every word he says abt it pls TT

he loves u so so much and u love that he’s passionate about volleyball HE JUST,, DOESNT REALIZE THAT YOU LISTEN

like he thinks it’ll bother you if he talks about it too much <//3

he’s the one who is genuinely surprised when you point out a strategy karasuno had used

“y/n i didn’t realize you liked volleyball??”

“you talk about it all the time silly”

and you give him a kiss on the nose and he just :0

“hajime cmonnnn you took me to the game you should tell me more about it uwu”

STOP. he literally,,, loves u so much

he holds your hand, his little smile never leaving his face

you lean your head on his shoulder, watching the game on the court

when the tall blond blocks ushijima’s block, you flinch a bit and stand up to look closer, seeing the tall blond yell and his teammates following suit

you cheer along with them, your boyfriend finally standing up to stand next to you

his eyes are on you only, your hair bouncing with you as you jump in excitement, your eyes shimmering with excitement

his smile just grows as you grin , turning to him in excitement

“did you see that hajime?? :D”

STOPP HES SO IN LOVE HE JUST STARES AT YOU .

and u just :D

“hajime..???”

YOU HAVE TO SNAP YOUR FINGERS IN FRONT OF HIS FACE AND HE JUST SNAPS OUT OF IT AND LOOKS AT YOU

“you’re very beautiful princess, did you know that?”

that alone makes you go pink and you playfully push him by his arm

“baby stopppp”

and you’re both just laughing and watching the game together, spending the whole day with your hands intertwined

(he.. hajime best boy)

yahaba

you had started watching the game a bit after the first set started and your boyfriend was busy taking a shower

you knew a lot in all honesty, since shigeru happened to be on one of the powerhouse schools in terms of volleyball throughout miyagi

if he was gonna be honest he wasn’t expecting you to sit down and actually watch a game of volleyball intently

so walking into his room seeing you focusing on the karasuno v. shiratorizawa match surprised him a bit

“you watching the game?” he’d ask

“mhm!! it’s really interesting uwu”

he finds it absolutely adorable but then he tries to flirt and flex his muscles like “babe look i just got out of the shower” AND YOU JUSt,, KEEP LOOKING AT THE TV

yahaba: baby *bites lip*

you: babe get dressed and come watch with me

goodbye he just throws a shirt and some shorts on and basically jumps on top of you in which you yelp and go “shiGERU” and his mom is ON HIS ASS !!!!!!!! she literally comes in and she’s like “shigeru stop jumping onto your gf” and you rlly stick your tongue out at him

him: you’re acting like a child

you: you STARTED IT.

and you guys bicker a little and you just go “well you made me miss half the game” and HE GETS SO MAD HELPPPP

“BOOOOO”

him: clinging onto you, asking you to cuddle him

you: watching the game

eventually you give in and hug him, kissing him which makes him go quiet

“are you happy now you baby?” you ask him

“.......maybe.....”

and he just gives you a quick kiss, smiling and also giving you a slight eskimo kiss

the game becomes an afterthought as he brings up the beach volleyball game the third years organized for tomorrow all day, asking if you could help his team out

(he insists that since you’re the ref, you should help his team consisting of kyoutani, kunimi, hanamaki, and another first and second year win bc kyoutani will just keep spiking outside the lines but you tell him it’s cheating LMAO...)

watari

(btw he’s so underrated i mean he’s not one of my faves but he deserves the world like y’all sleep on him and for what)

he’s super observant and he had been watching recorded games for a while to learn and make sure he plays his best next year pls </3

he had invited you over to his place to hang out and you really wanted him to take a break from watching all of those recorded games

you emphasized this when you told him you would come over lmao

but alas.........

when he opened the door and you looked at the tv to see what he had put on, you saw the shiratorizawa v. karasuno game

watari: I CAN EXPLAIN.

you: .... sir..

PLEASE he’s taking your hand and pulling you to the couch while saying he’ll relax and just watch for fun

you sigh and follow him, letting him pull you down to sit next to him on his couch

you throw your legs over his lap, smiling while looking at him

he would give you quick, soft kisses all over your face and you both just fall into a fit of giggles

stop u literally love watching him gaze at the tv so passionately and observe how they play </3

YOU GIGGLE AT HIM AND HE’S LIKE “what are you laughing about?”

AND YOURE JUST LIKE “you’re so cute uwu”

so y’all are really just out here giggling at each other huh.......

he??? pulls you into his lap and hugs you tightly

he’s literally so in love with you pls

so you guys just sit there and watch the game while you occasionally ask him questions

he’d be happy to tell you and he’s holding onto you the whole. entire. time.

honestly the game kinda slips away from you because you’re suddenly asleep on his chest, his arms around your waist, a hand gently rubbing your back

and he’s so grateful that he has a girlfriend who cares about him and worries about him :((

he’d turn off the game and then take a little nap with u <3

kindaichi

tbh you spent so much time with him after the game his team lost bc he kept beating himself up for it which is >:(((((

him: i could’ve-

you: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DO NOT BRING YOURSELF DOWN COME HERE LET ME KISS YOU

as you should !!

and when he tells you he’s gonna be watching the shiratorizawa vs karasuno match after school at his place, you tell him you’re watching with him too

“i don’t want it to bore you y/n-”

“it won’t bore me yutaro dw uwu”

no bc the way you’re both in love !!!!!

you would do anything for him tbh but you genuinely thought his passion for volleyball was cute :D

he was always striving to do his best and you think he’s absolutely precious

he’d turn on the game and then immediately come over to sit with you

you lean onto him, clinging onto his arm and smiling

“y/n are you sure you wanna watch with me??”

“mhm!!”

he gives u a very soft kiss on the head and you can’t stop smiling bc you know he gets kinda shy abt showing affection

but he feels very warm and you start feeling very sleepy

YOU TRY YOUR BEST TO KEEP YOURSELF AWAKE

you think him making comments abt the game or what he finds interesting is really cute but youre just,, tired ya know

he notices and he’s like “you should sleep-”

“noooo yutaro i’ll watch with youuuu”

“y/n cmonn”

you pout and lean turn to lean your forehead against his arm

“i don’t wanna </3″

“it’s okayyy you can sleep if youre tired”

you look at him and he smiles, leaning forward to kiss your forehead

you can’t help but melt and you’re just,, staring at him dreamily

he’s like “..baby..?”

and you just lean forward and kiss him

“you’re the best bf ever <3″

and he chuckles and goes “and you’re the best and cutest gf ever”

he has you lay down on his bed, your hair sprawled about his pillows

he lays with you, the two of you facing the tv and your back to him

he puts an arm around you, smiling

you slowly fall asleep, smiley and snuggling back towards yutaro

he kisses your head again, telling you that he loves you and hopes you sleep well

he’s so<333

kunimi

he acts like he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the game but you guys are chilling at his place and you flip to the channel that has the game on

at first he’s like “you’re interested ?? in this ????”

you: babe,, of course i am,, my bf is a volleyball player,,,,,?

PLS? he’d be like ‘oh ok’ and rest his chin on top of your head

it’s so chill between the two of you guys he’s literally just playing with your hair, humming a bit

you ask him smth but he asks you to repeat what you asked because he spaced out

and when you ask again he just stares at you and is like ‘yes’

YOU JUST LAUGH AT HIM AND HE THINKS YOURE SO PRETTY so he just continues to listen to you ramble abt the game

eventually, he finds himself dozing off and you take notice as his chin starts feeling heavy on your head

“baby c’mon let’s take a nap-”

and he’d shake his head and go “we can finish the game-”

but you can tell he’s tired, especially from practice earlier today

so you turn off the game and turn so that you’re straddling his lap and hugging him tight

he wraps his arms around you and hums, kissing you

you smile and lean back to look at him, his eyes droopy from exhaustion

“sleep bby”

“mm only if you do too”

“i will dw <3″

and you just cling onto him, arms around his neck

he hums, nuzzling your neck and you giggle

eventually, you two start breathing slowly, falling asleep

(tbh you didn’t rlly even care who won you just watched the game bc it was on LMAO)

kyoutani

you guys were hanging out in your room, his head in your lap while you sat up against your pillows

you were both occupied by your phones atm

he put his phone down, looking up at you curiously

you smiled as he reached to intertwine his fingers with yours

he had been at the gym more often, playing volleyball and practicing

especially after their loss against karasuno :(

today was one of the days that he decided he would spend his time being with you

he doesn’t voice it often, but he appreciates how much you support him and care for him

(you picked him up from the gym the other day with some of his favorite deep fried chicken bits with the cute chicken packaging and he didn’t know how else to show you how much he loves and appreciates you other than by cuddling with you all night pls i’m </3)

anyways he’s just staring at you, admiring you, thinking about how much he loves you while you’re watching some tiktok your friend had sent you

you had asked if he wanted to watch the game with you on your phone but he had been occupied thinking about you

“what’d you say-?”

“i asked if you wanted to watch the game with me..? if you don’t want to it’s fine-”

“oh sure”

and he’d adjust himself so that he’s sitting with you, shoulder-to-shoulder, leaning his head so that it lays on top of yours

you’d just be all smiley, leaning into him more while playing the live stream of the game

he seemed focused, watching the game intently

you tried to focus on the game, but the only thing you could think about was the way kyoutani was holding your hand, rubbing the top of it with his thumb

eventually, as the game continues, he huffs a little, making you look up and smile at him

“you okay? we can stop watching if you want-”

“it’s fine-”

and then he adjusts himself, scooting away from you to lay his head in your lap

he reaches for your hand and puts it on his head, looking up at you

you oblige, gently rubbing his head and smiling

his eyes are closed, a slight hum coming from him

after a while, you realize kyoutani had fallen asleep, so you turn the game on your phone off

during this, kyoutani grumbles, reaching for your hand

you can’t help but giggle a little, rubbing his head while humming a little

“get some rest baby~” you croon quietly, staring at him lovingly

he opens his eyes a little, giving you a small smile

“you too okay..?”

“mhm-!”

when he closes his eyes, you smile, mumbling a little ‘i love you’ to your boyfriend

178 notes · View notes

thebeautyoffanfics · 3 years

Note

hello!💙💙i hope im not bothering you but may i get a tsukasa or mitsuba x reader where their s/o loves to draw but never lets them see and one day they steal their s/o sketchbook and dont see any drawings of them and the boys are a lil dissapointed but their s/o has a secret sketcbook that they always keep with them filled with the boys portraits?? it would be rlly cute!!(feel free to ignore tho!)💙💜

tsukasa yugi x gn!reader, mitsuba sousuke x gn!reader

a/n: no worries, you aren’t bothering me at all!! This is a super cute prompt, so thank you so much for requesting! (i love writing mitsuba too,,, just gotta love the sharp-tongued, short-tempered characters <3)

warnings:

word count: 1,471

Tsukasa Yugi <3

He thinks the fact that you can draw is super cool!! Probably more so than you do, to be completely honest- he’s extremely enthusiastic about it, but that also means he’s extremely annoying about it.

Lots of “let me look, let me look!!” “I wanna seeeeeeee,” “(Y/N), pleaaaaseee, what’re you drawinggggg?”

“Tsukasa, I love you, I love you very much. But, I promise you, if you don’t shut up and let me draw in peace-”

“:((“

So, of course, if you don’t let him see it, our gremlin of a boy is going to look through it one way or another. Pestering you relentlessly didn’t work, trying to slip it casually into a conversation didn’t work, so! You leave him no option!

One day, when you’re minding your business in class, Tsukasa checks your locker. Maybe, just maybe, you left it in there?

Hmm… empty- next stop!! Bookbag!

His eyes practically lit up, his expression excited, practically screaming “found it!!”

Tsukasa would open the sketchbook, silently wondering what on earth you could have drawn. His only experience in art was… well- with things that weren’t intended for art. It wasn’t ever proper “art” either. Just a lot of smearing. But anyway-

A part of him sort of hoped it would be something with him. Maybe even a little doodle, it didn’t have to be a fully colored, lined, amazing piece. Just little doodles, cos you loved him so much, and he infested your mind like the little parasite he is… y’know….

So, as he flipped through the pages, admiring your style- amazed with every little doodle, every little pencil marking, every little detail- he kept an eye out for anything that could have even vaguely resembled him. Yet, once he reached the end, he was rather certain that there was nothing. Tsukasa felt a bit disappointed, pouting despite the fact that you weren’t there to see it.

“Tell me how I knew you were up to something,” You sighed, looking at the boy seated next to your bookbag, the last pages of your sketchbook flipped open. He ignored the comment, placing your sketchbook to the side, then hugging you. You returned the hug, giving him a confused glance.

“What? It’s nothing incredible, but was it that bad-? I don’t even know everything that’s in that, so-”

“You didn’t draw me :(((“

“You didn’t ask me to???”

Still, you couldn’t help but laugh, well aware of the other sketchbook you had stored in the more secure part of your bookbag. Patting his back, then letting go of the hug, you bent down and grabbed your sketchbook and bag. Replacing the sketchbook he had flipped through, you then reached in and grabbed the other.

Somewhat embarrassed, yet know he already found out about your artistic abilities and would probably be glad to see himself, you handed him the sketchbook. “I’ll have you know, I’m not exactly overjoyed with you right now. But, since you’re a sneak, I’ll let you look at that one.”

Tsukasa opened the sketchbook with renewed energy, excited to see what was inside it. Was it him?! Did he actually infest your mind?!! Was he a good model??

Uncharacteristically, his face was slightly warm as he looked over the first page. It started off with a fully finished drawing of him- a very strong start, if he did say so himself. Not only was it him, it was awesome.

He flipped through the rest of the pages, happiness and excitement practically radiating off of him. You could have sworn you saw his eyes sparkling.

“THAT’S SO COOL, (Y/N)!!” Tsukasa would yell after shutting the sketchbook, throwing his arms around you happily, making sure that the sketchbook didn’t get damaged as he did so. “You did draw me! You drew a lot of me!!”

“Ahah- yeah. You’re… cute, after all. Why wouldn’t I draw my boyfriend?”

Mitsuba Sousuke <3

Nosey little dude, but on a more casual level than Tsukasa.

“I’ve shown you my pictures, so you should show me your drawings.”

“That makes sense,”

“So, show me.”

“Nope!”

“(Y/N)-”

Though amusing, Mitsuba will start to pout after a while. “Tch- it’s not like I wanted to see it anyway. It’s probably lame.”

“Awesome then! That doesn’t make me want to show you any more than I previously did~!”

Insert Mitsuba sticking his tongue out at you-

Still, Mitsuba does understand where you’re coming from. After all, he never shows you pictures he’s taken of you. Therefore! It’s only logical that you wanted to draw his cute face!! He muttered this, crossing his arms, yet pretending that it was no big deal to him. Nope, those little comments and attempted glances were nothing-

“Mmh? You’re cute, yes.”

“That’s not what I- whatever, pervert. It’s clear now. You don’t want to show me, ‘cos there’s raunchy art in there! Pervert! Creepy, you’re so creepy-”

“Then aren’t you a pervy creep for wanting to look in my sketchbook?”

“I-”

Mitsuba may have not talked to you for the rest of the day- but it’s fiiiine, he’s fiiiiiiine.

Especially since, by the end of the next day, Mitsuba passed your locker, planning on returning to the class from a bathroom break. As he glanced over at your locker, not fully shut because of your bookbag shoved into it, an idea crossed his mind. It wouldn’t take long… a little peak wouldn’t hurt. Just to make sure his s/o wasn’t a pervert, of course! Not out of personal interest!

So, he grabbed your bag, rummaging through it until he found a well-used sketchbook. His interest peaked, as he grabbed it, opening it up and flipping through the pages.

Some of the pieces were similar to pictures he had given to you, but he didn’t spot anything of him. Sure, your art was impressive, and he was rather content finally getting to see it, but-

But where was his cute face?? Not even his name??? No dreamy “(Y/N) Sousuke” written? Nothing.

Well, it’s not like he cared anywa-

“Really, Mitsuba? You needed to use the bathroom?”

“AH-” He yelped, shutting your sketchbook, as if that would make it seem like he wasn’t just flipping through the pages in slight awe. “Shut up, pervert! I went to the bathroom, I just- you were being suspicious.”

“By drawing?”

“YEs.”

You laughed lightly, though embarrassed as you took the sketchbook from him, putting it back into your bookbag. To be completely honest, your heart was beating a bit faster, slightly nervous that he found your art ugly. It wasn’t anything in comparison to his pictures, you thought..

And, when you turned around and caught a glimpse of his slightly disappointed face, your heart beat even faster. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” He said, somewhat defensively- well, that much was normal.

“Sorry, it’s probably disappointing- I know my art isn’t the greatest, but it’s definitely improved over time. There are things I need to study, but-”

“Hey, don’t assume I’m upset with your art, dummy. It’s…” He blushed slightly, looking away from you and shoving his hands in his pockets, “it’s really cool. I’m impressed.”

“Then why are you pouting?”

“I’m not pouting.”

You raised your eyebrows, making Mitsuba flush further, opening his mouth as he thought of what to say in response to that expression. “I just- well, you were weird about it, so I figured there was something about me- something weird or suspicious. But, it’s all perfectly normal.”

It took a moment for you to get behind his words- but, after getting behind Mitsuba’s extremely indirect way of saying things, you understood what he meant. He wanted you to draw him. After processing that, you bit your lip, wondering if you should actually show him your other sketchbook… a glimpse at his slight pout, though it was now confusion at your conflicted expression, you turned around, rummaging through your bookbag.

Then, you pulled out another sketchbook, and pushed it against his chest. “Since you’re so insistent. Just go ahead and look through it, I guess.”

It was Mitsuba’s turn to raise his eyebrows, as he took the sketchbook, and opened it up. His face burned, as he flipped through the pages. They were… filled with him. It genuinely made his heart pound, looking at the array of doodles, line art, and fully finished pieces- occasionally, a small heart or smiley face would be doodled alongside them. If he didn’t find your art incredible before, he definitely did now. Of course, he’d never admit it to your face, but his expression was enough for you to understand.

“A-ah… gross- idiot. Of course, I should have known a pervert like you would draw such a cute face. It’s obvious.”

“Right, right. Honestly, just give me a penny each time you call me a pervert, I’ll be rich in no time-”

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baroquebucky · 3 years

Text

house plants

in which bucky has a green thumb and you don’t, but god do you love plants.

masterlist

a/n: hi guys 0.0 sorry for like dying on y’all, college was ROUGH but I’m on break now !! so I’ll try to be more active hehe i hope you guys enjoy! I’m getting they some requests and I’ll post them later i just rlly wanted to get dis one out there hehe also this was way longer than i expected it to be uhm

you smiled at the small succulent in the passenger seat, “okay, i may have gotten you on a whim, but i will not let you die on me, you will be my new daughter” you nodded your head confidently as you grabbed the other groceries, balancing a small succulent in one hand.

“Buck? I’m home!” You stated, hurrying to set everything down and softly plancing the plant on the counter. You smiled brightly at it before turning on your heel to find Bucky.

“I’ll help in a bit i just need to find something” he spoke, you headed toward the room, finding him looking around helplessly, “what are you looking for?” You questioned, sitting on the bed and laughing as he tore apart the room.

“i remembered i had this t shirt i really liked and now i can’t find it anywhere, i looked through all my cabinets and it’s nowhere in sight” he huffed and you smiled.

“did you check my closet?” you quipped and he furrowed his brows, mumbling as he looked through your shirts before pulling out a black long sleeve, he smiled as he held it close to his chest.

“how did you even get this? You didn’t go through my drawers did you?” he worried, something flashing in his eyes, but it was gone before you could notice. He quickly grabbed it and put it on, kissing you on the cheek as he walked out the door, “no i didn’t and plus you barely used it so i stole it” you shrugged.

“okay now that you have your shirt, you are legally not allowed to be mad at me” you began, running infront of him and blocking the plant from his view.

“y/n, doll please tell me you didn’t get a cat” he sighed and you shook your head, “no, however i was thinking about it” you mentioned, a smile on your face as he rolled his eyes at you.

“i present to you, our new child!” you cheered, presenting the succulent and shoving it into his face. Bucky furrowed his brows and processed the information, the small green plant staring him right in the face. “It was on sale at the grocery store and i thought why not give house plants another shot! It’s not like we’re out doing much nowadays” you smiled, patting the plant gently before setting it down once again and going to fix the other groceries.

“y/n last time you gave house plants a shot you killed all six of them” he sighed and you threw a roll of paper towels at him, of course he caught it and threw it back, effectively hitting you on the back of the head.

“things are different now, maybe i have a green thumb this year” you smiled, happily putting everything away and setting the plant by the window.

Bucky saw the joy in your eyes as you watched the small plant grow, you even texted the whole team about the new member of the barnes and y/l/l household. You had spent hours at a time researching the best ways to grow and care for succulents and yet, one week later bucky noticed the small plant (which you had dubbed ‘Brenda’) had began to wilt.

He stared at brenda, debatin on letting her just die and prove a point that gardening was not your strong suit, but then he thought about how crushed you would be, coming home and finding the dead succulent. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, watering the plant and going out the buy some things to help it get more nutrients.

Within days Brenda was healthier than ever, growing rapidly and a beautiful dark green color. You quickly noticed and teased Bucky for not believing in you.

“I told you! she is so beautiful look at her! they grow up so fast don’t they” you wiped a fake tear and Bucky laughed rolling his eyes and focusing back on the show the two of you were watching. “I think it’s time for the next step” you smiled, his eyes widened as you finished your sentence, “another plant!”

So weeks passed and within a couple months you had all kinds of house plants, every windowsill covered with green and even some hanging from the ceiling, vines wrapping around lamps and even flowers in the patio, you even got bold and bought an orchid (which was doing amazing you may add).

While you watered them regularly, Bucky had to go above and beyond to care for the absurd amount of plants you now had. He would water them individually (by now he knew how much water each plant needed and what days to water them) and even added fertilizer to their soil, buying all kinds of things to keep them healthy and to stop them from wilting. Your most recent purchase, olive the orchid, had been the toughest to care for yet. Bucky had to watch tons of videos on orchid care to stop it from dying within the fire few days.

It took him a while to go through his routine while you were at work, you never caught wind of his meddling and you continued to believe that you had the greenest thumb in the world, Bucky happily going along with it, he couldn’t bare to see your soul crushed if you realized they would’ve died had they been in your care.

You and Bucky were laying in bed watching a movie when he got a phone call from Sam, telling him they had a mission, Bucky was both suprised and nervous considering there had been almost nothing going on lately and he would have the leave all the plants alone with you.

“I can always tell Sam i can’t go you know that doll” Bucky protested as the night progressed, you sighed and curled more into his side, pulling the blanket into you more, “I’ll be fine James, and plus i have all of our plants to keep me company” you smiled brightly and he felt his heart swell.

He wanted nothing more then to tell Sam to shove it so he can stay home and care for all your plants to keep that adorable smile on your face, but of course he couldn’t.

“I’m gonna be gone two weeks are you sure you can handle it?” Bucky asked once again, one foot out the door before turning around again, “yes bucky i know where everything for the plants is, plus I’ve kept them looking good for this long, two weeks is nothing” you smirked, punching his shoulder as he smiled at you.

He chuckled softly and nodded his head, kissing your forehead and saying goodbye, he also said goodbye to all the plants, knowing they would be gone by the time he came back. He did however have a shred of hope that they would be able to hold on just until he got back, to nurse them back to health.

You closed the door and sighed, the house feeling empty without Bucky, but then you looked to your right and saw Brenda, you smiled and put on your favorite show, cuddling up on the couch and sighing. You could keep your plants alive for two weeks, you had done it for months on your own.

Sam put the quinjet in autopilot after setting the route and sat across from Bucky. “So why didn’t you wanna come, getting used to the domestic life?” He joked and Bucky rolled his eyes. “Cmon I’m joking losen up” he laughed, throwing a peanut at him and Bucky broke into a smile as he caught it in his mouth.

“y/n and i got a bunch of plants right” he began and Sam nodded, “yeah i know she sends up pictures like all the time,” Bucky laughed and continued, “but she sucks at keeping them alive, so I’ve been taking care of them when she isn’t home and keeping them alive” Bucky spoke, a smile on his face as he realized how ridiculous this was.

“she doesn’t know you’ve been taking care of them does she” Sam questioned and Bucky shook his head, he bit his lip to stop his smile as Sam broke into a fit of laughter. “Oh my god they’re all gonna die on her like last year aren’t they” he spoke between laughs and Bucky nodded, his heart hurting as he thought of your face when the plants began to wilt and you couldn’t stop them.

“i just feel bad because he cares about them so much, but she just is actually incapable of caring for them, i mean she killed a cactus! even after doing everything she was supposed to!” Bucky laughed, wanting nothing more than to go home and hold you, and kiss you on the cheek.

“I can’t believe she can do basically everything but care for plants” Sam spoke and Bucky sighed, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

As time passed your plants began to wilt, first was the orchid, a petal had fallen and it was now slumped over. Then was the ones hanging from the ceiling, the leaves all drooping and and even starting to dry up after the first week.

And then your succulents, you had been watering them way too much and essentially drowned them, and you accidentally killed your cacti by not em giving them enough water.

Of course with each plant death on your end, Bucky received the news through your daily calls. He felt so bad for you, comforting you every night and wishing he could kiss you and make you feel better. “Don’t worry doll I’ll be there in a couple days” he would say and you nodded, “maybe they just miss you” you giggled and he smiled, “maybe.”

By the time bucky got home, all the plants were basically dead, and you had thrown out half them before Bucky could even say goodbye.

“Sweets? I’m home!” Bucky smiled, setting everything down and closing the door, turning around to see you throwing out yet another plant before your face lit up and you jumped on him.

“i missed you so much james” you laughed as he picked you up, holding you tightly as he nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck.

“i missed you so much more doll” he whispered a smile on his face as you placed a kiss ontop of his head. He set you down gently on the couch and you immediately pulled him down with you, cuddling into his side and closing your eyes as you listened to his heartbeat.

“okay doll, please don’t get mad at me but i can’t hide this any longer” he spoke suddenly, getting up from the couch and moving infront of you. Your heart dropped and you felt dizzy, “what?” Your mind was racing, thinking of what the hell he could be hiding from you.

“okay it started off because i didn’t want to hurt you okay, i didn’t want to crush your spirit because you looked so happy and god i didn’t want to take that away from you, but then you went and got more and i couldn’t tell you then because i was in too deep and-“ you cut him off before he could continue.

“Barnes just spit it out!” You groaned, brows furrowed and a scowl on your face as he rambled.

“I took care of the plants!” He rushed out, letting out a sigh and putting his head in your lap. “I took care of Brenda when she started to wilt because i saw how happy you were taking care of her” he mumbled, looking up to see your confused expression.

“but my other plants i took care of those” you shook your head, and he scrunched his face up. “I took care of those too, i kept them all alive and cared for them so that you could think you were doing it, i wanted you to be happy as a plant mom, i knew how bad you felt last year” he spoke, looking up at you and searching you face for your reaction.

“that why they all died after you left, because you kept them alive” you whispered, finally putting the pieces together. Everything made so much more sense now, from you catching him moving the plants around and him buying fertilizer, you realized now it’s because while you were gone, he was taking care of the plants.

“You didn’t even tell me after i bought like 10 more” you smiled and he let out a breath after he realized you weren’t upset. “I just wanted to see you happy” he giggled and your heart fluttered, you ran your fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes.

“so you aren’t mad?” you laughed at the question, confusing him, and suddenly he was terrified because if you were mad at him he doesn’t know how he would make it up to you.

“how could i be mad at you baby, you spent hours on end taking care of plants that you didn’t care about just so i could be happy thinking i had a green thumb” you smiled, kissing his forehead and letting out a sigh, “if anything i should propose to you for caring for me that much.” Bucky smiled at you and gave you a quick kiss on the lips.

“i would marry you in a heartbeat doll face” he whispered, sitting back down next to you on the couch, “even if that meant taking care of an absurd amount of plants for me?” You teased and he rolled his eyes.

“as long as they aren’t orchids, that one was a pain in the ass” he laughed and you slapped his chest lightly, “i loved olive!” you argued and he shoved you softly, “you didn’t have to watch hours of videos to keep olive alive!” He shot back and you huffed, accepting defeat and setting your head on his chest as the tv played in the background.

After a couple moments of silence you smiled, realizing the trouble he must’ve gone through just so you could be happy over some plants. “I wasn’t joke when i said i would marry you y’know” you whispered, and Bucky blushed, kissing the top of your head.

“I know doll, and neither was i” he smiled as he saw your face flush, and suddenly all he could think of was the small velvet box he had hidden away in his t shirt drawer.

#bucky fluff #bucky x y/n #bucky fic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #soft!bucky

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