#I should remove tiktok uh

[add1ctedt0you]

"I said, “Doesn’t it bother you? [...] That all anyone talks about when they talk about you are the seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo?” “No,” she told me. “Because they are just husbands. I am Evelyn Hugo.”"

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo- Taylor Jenkins Reid

[ghostedeabha]

imagine like simon goes into some sort of surgery and has to be put under anesthesia, and when he gets out hes like still high asf on it 💀 and hes being a lil silly goose

okay this is such a cute idea omg, this is 100% based off that tiktok audio where it's like "my wife wouldn't like you touching me like that" "i AM your wife."

thank you so much for the request nonnie, a forehead kiss for you MWAH MWAH

simon 'ghost' riley x reader

wc: 563

warnings: none really, lots and lots of that good ol fluff, mentions of surgery, goofy simon, maybe a little ooc simon (he's high so it's fine)

a/n: i hope this is okay, i'm feeling a bit rusty with my writing but i've finally got back some motivation and energy to do so after the past two months of low energy and bad mental health. if you guys want to know a bit more about it and my mental health (i don't see why anyone would but lmao) let me know, i don't mind making a post about it if you guys want an explanation of some sort or whatever. anywho, sorry this is so short but i hope you still like it!! <3

a/n 2.0: i recently applied for a part time job at a bookstore so y'all pray for me that i get this job because i want it so bad. i am just gonna decide that i WILL get this job, because why wouldn't i?

simon had been out of surgery for just over an hour now, being a soldier you 'd think perhaps he was going under surgery for some kind of wound he had inflicted upon him on the battlefield but no, he was just getting his tonsils removed after a bad bout of tonsillitis ended up with him developing really bad tonsil stones.

so here you were, waiting by his bedside for him to wake up. the doctor and nurses reminded you just as he had gotten out that he may still be a little, well loopy, off of the meds depending on how quickly he woke up. you waited in a chair at his bedside, reading a book when you heard the blankets of the bed rustling just a little.

looking up from your book you see simon starting to wake up and you reach out to grasp his hand, only for him to rip it away from you when his eyes were fully opened.

"uh, si? you okay, hon?" you ask gently, maybe he just wasn't feeling too well after waking up, or perhaps he wasn't wanting physical touch, that happened quite often and you always respected that space he may want when he wanted it.

"don't call me that." simon said, voice hoarse and scratchy from the surgery, he sounded a little angry.

"what?" you questioned, this wasn't like simon, you couldn't understand why he wouldn't want you speaking like this to him.

"i'm taken."

"i know." you replied with a short laugh.

"you should be touching me like that then."

it hit you then, he was woozy from the meds and didn't recognize you. the realization made you laugh a little more. you decided to have a bit of fun with this high version of your boyfriend.

"sorry about that simon. wanna tell me about your partner?"

"oh, (name)? they're amazing, you know they're so pretty. and they're funny too. they always know how to make me feel better, i miss them." simon replies, ranting and raving on and on to you about his partner, about you.

"you love them a lot, don't you?" you ask him with a smile, it felt so nice to hear all these lovely things about yourself, your boyfriend clearly unfiltered by the effects of the anesthesia he was under.

sure he definitely said sweet things to your face, but something about hearing it when he was basically high as shit made your heart pound a little more.

"i love them with my whole heart." simon replies, a goofy little smile on his face.

you can't help but reach out to gently caress his face at those words, body filling up with some much adoration for the soldier in front of you.

"hey! what did i say about touching me. i have a partner!" simon scolds, trying to dodge your touch.

"simon, love... i am your partner. it's me, (name)." you reply with a laugh.

simon takes a good long look at you when you tell him this, he stares at you, looks you up and down before letting out a soft and quiet "oh."

you begin to hear the beeping of his heart rate monitor speed up, his cheeks turning slightly pink as he stares up at you.

you couldn't help but laugh a little more at this. what a sweet idiot. your sweet idiot.

[cupidssorbet]

“Let me use these fangs..”

Miguel O’Hara X Reader.

Summary: None! Muahaha! Includes: Biting, slight blood-kink, teasing, body appreciation, Mentions of the word ‘cunt’ & ‘pussy’, slight smug Miguel, just some filth babes.

★Please read!★ The reader has no specified race etc so it’s very much just put yourself in that place! Anyways you’re reading at your own volition, this was inspired by this tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRowUMqa/ !

You were working on some dinner for him for when he finally came home from what you called his shenanigans and what he called incredibly important. Humming along to the music that played from your speaker, dancing about as he came through the front door, his mask just barely coming up and off. You immediately catching his eyes as you swayed your hips to the music.

God it did something to him, all day long he’d been thinking about you, your face, your body, your voice, your cunt. It did something to him.

That’s why it came as a surprise to you when Miguel’s hands found your hips as he set his mask off to the side. His lips going straight for your neck as he left open mouthed kisses. “Miguel?” You managed to spit out, as you carefully put the wooden spoon you were using to stir the food in the pan down. “What is the meaning for all of this? not exactly complaining.”

You breathed out as his fangs grazed across your neck, his breath fanning against it. “He estado pensando en ti.(I've been thinking about you.)” Miguel exhaled slightly, sucking a hickie into your skin. “Me? Why- Ohhh sweet god, Why uh Why me?” You managed to get out getting stuck on some words like a broken record.

“Estas caderas, esos muslos, estos labios, este coño...(These hips, those thighs, these lips, this pussy...).” His hands snaked around feeling everywhere he could, “It’s been plaguing my mind all day.”

“God..But Miguel I’ve got dinner going I really should..” He quickly reached his hand down and flicked off the fire, “There, Now you won’t have to worry.” Miguel was quick with picking you up and bringing you up to your shared bedroom, shutting the door with his foot and gently tossing you onto the bed with a slight ‘Miguel!’ as he made his way over, “God I’ve been waiting for this,” He brought his hand to snake past your waistband of your pants and panties, finding your cunt slick and wet as he brought his mouth to kiss you, bring his kisses to come down your chin and neck leaving small bites on your neck as he went.

“All wet for me huh Chiquita?” He murmurs with that stupid smug slight smirk that you felt on your skin. His fingers rubbing gently in a teasing way on your clit, bringing it down to your needy hole dipping in causing you to gasp slightly. A slight chuckle coming him as he continued to kiss everywhere he could.

He kept pumping with one finger then two, your eyes fluttering as your breathing got labored. “I’m only just getting started and look at you a mess.” he pulls back pulling his fingers out and bringing them to his mouth cleaning them effortlessly. “Strip.” He says and that’s all you need hear, moving as fast as you could to slide it off, shirt gone to the floor as well as your pants and your underwear & bra.

“Lay down Querida.(Darling)” He motions for you lay down against the propped up pillows, you lay back your hair splayed behind you watching as he removed his suit. You couldn’t help but stare at his face, his chest, his whole body.. he was left in just his boxers as he climbed onto the bed hooking his arms underneath your legs, bringing you closer. “I can put these to use,” he flashes his fangs, licking up the supple flesh of your inner thighs.

He left purple hickies all along your thighs purposefully missing where you wanted him most, gently biting into it licking the blood that slightly dribbled from the bites he put too much pressure on, reveling in the way you tried to bring your cunt to his face and he denied you every time.

“Miguelll..” You whine your head lolling back, “Alright…Alright,” He smiles smugly into your thigh at your whining. He brings his mouth down to your wet stick cunt licking a long stripe from your wet hole to your clit. Keeping eye contact until he dove in without hesitation. Your hand flying to cover your mouth, a gasp coming your lips. He stops, one of his hands taking yours and moving it. “No no, I wanna hear all of those noises.” He states before going straight back to what he was doing.

Eating you out like he was a starved man, his hands gripping your thighs massaging them as he continued your slick coating his chin and lips, making his fangs & lips shine. Your hands find his hair as you gasp and cry to him, tangling them into his soft hair. He groans into your cunt, that familiar feeling rising in your stomach, then he adds his fingers pumping two of them in and out. It added to the pressure and then it snapped, he lapped it up. Leaning back wiping his chin of your slick.

“God..I missed your cunt.” he hummed licking his fingers clean, the now noticeable bulge catching your eye as he brought himself up. Your rose from your spot bringing your hand to palm him making his breath hitch slightly. “Miguel let me help you please.” You looked up at him through your lashes. “You sure you can handle it?” He looks down at you exhaling slightly.

You nodded slightly, and he couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. “Alright belleza(beauty).” He exhales with a slight smirk taking your spot. You smiled hurrying over laying between his legs, moving your hands up to pull down his boxers his cock springing free with a bead of precum coming from the tip. Your hand immediately coming to it, rubbing up and down your thumb coming over the tip making him inhale.

“Please..Don’t tease me like that.” He groans his head leaning back against the headboard, you smiled licking stripes up his dick before completely taking him in your mouth, pumping what you couldn’t take. Humming slightly when you heard him make noises at a reaction making him exhale shakily even more.

You moved your head in a steady up and down, gagging slightly when the tip hits the back of your throat. He revels when you gag on him, it makes him feel some kind of way. He thrusts up slightly into your mouth, spit coming to the corners of your mouth as you tried your best to still take him. His hand finds your cheek wiping any tears that fell from your eyes.

Before he could even cum in your mouth, he pulls out and sighs. “Please let me use that cunt.” He asked so politely and you couldn’t deny him, he looked so desperate. You smiled before gasping as his hands found your hips lifting you above before his tip slid through your folds. Before he gently as he possibly could pushed it in.

Groaning as it went into your warm tight pussy, “Ohhh..” You slurred as he was barely filling you with only being half way on his cock. He slowly brought you down onto it carefully before he was fully sheathed inside you. “So tight and warm.” He exhaled in your ear letting you lean back on his chest, his hand finding your clit rubbing gently circles as you murmured and mumbled.

“You like that?” All you could do was nod, “Uh-Huh, Tell me.” He demanded his fangs finding your exposed neck gently nipping and biting. “Yeah, Yeah..Really like.” you sputtered out, eyes batting closed then open lazily sitting half lidded. He smiled smugly into your neck, “Mm..Good Good,”

He had set a pace, one that started out soft and careful before he got to into it. Becoming rougher, his hand bringing your hand to rub your clit, his groans and slight whines in your eyes making you clench around his dick. “Dios cariño, ¿te gusta eso?(God honey, do you like that?)” He chuckled breathlessly.

His thrusts becoming erratic and sloppy, your cunt spasming as you came around cock, he couldn’t help but speed up at the feeling. “Feels too damn good..” He sighs his breathing labored, uneven and hot on your skin. Sweat beading at your forehead. “Please please.” You whine in more of a whisper.

“Hm?” He murmurs, “Miguel please..” He chuckles, “You,You want it in?” He hums kissing a bit rougher in your shoulder and neck, “Yes yes..” You nodded as he rammed up in your cunt as wet squelch coming from it. He sped up, “Almost there..Can you let go for me one more time, please Cariño.” His hand finds your clit rubbing circles making you clench around him.

The feeling of everything made you both snap, your cunt clenching around him spasming as he shot his white hot cum into you, his head lolling back doing slow sloppy thrusts into you. Your fluids mixing as he finally came to a slow. Out of breath and laughing slightly, “Was it what you’ve been thinking about all day?”

He gave you a kiss on the cheek, “Of course, Better than I ever dream of.” He carefully pulls out of you, making you whine at the empty feeling. “C’mon, let’s get a nice warm bath.”

[yikesmary]

Heyyy! If you’re open for requests, there’s this TikTok that I saw where a pregnant lady had her husband lift her heavy belly for a few minutes and it gave her some relief. I somehow could see Mingyu do that. His wife having a hard time getting used to her growth and him trying his best to help her 🫠🫠🫠

HUSBAND DUTIES — kim mingyu x reader

summary: where mingyu is the best support system for your pregnancy.

note: this request was soooo cute!!! i don't know anything about pregnancy though, so anything that i mention about pregnancy is probably false so should be taken with a grain of salt. this is shorter than i expected but i hope u like it anon and everyone who reads this <33. also you guys should request more ;)

"Eggs, carrots, flour," You read to the phone, Mingyu on the other side as he was at the store.

Since you announced your pregnancy, it seemed like Mingyu was determined that you barely moved a finger during the 9 or so months. This meant that you weren't allowed to carry anything that was remotely heavy (he practically pouted the one time you insisted on helping out with the dishes); in this case, he took on the duty of going to the store.

You hesistated for a moment after saying the last item on the list you wrote out before saying, "Also, the baby is saying that you should pick up some chinese from that one place near the house,"

"Really? The baby said I should pick up food?"

"Yep, uh-huh. And the baby said you should buy ice cream from the convivence store as well," you affirmed, patting your pregnant belly as if you were high-fiving the baby through your belly.

Mingyu chuckled in amusement before saying, "Well, tell the baby that it'll take a bit of time if that's okay with them,"

"Okay, but don't be too long! I— I mean the baby will miss you a lot," you whispered, as if it was a secret.

"I won't take long," Mingyu reassured you, amused.

"Hey Gyu?"

"Yes, my love?"

"It's just not the baby that misses you,"

"Oh, yeah?"

"I miss you too,"

"I'm home!" Mingyu called out, opening the door and walking in your shared home, hands filled with plastic bags that came from the supermarket.

"Yay!" You cheered, slowly standing up from your seat on the couch then you walked (more like waddled) to Mingyu. You tried to grab one of the bags that was in his hands, but he moved away quickly so you didn't have the opportunity to grab a bag.

"Mingyu! Let me help!"

"No, just sit and I'll grab everything," Mingyu told you.

You pouted, but obliged, watching as he made his way back and forth from the car to the kitchen.

Once he was finished, he exited the kitchen and made a beeline towards you, holding the paper bag that was holding the Chinese Food. You made grabby hands towards the bag and he gave it to you.

You started to open the bag but then Mingyu said, "before we eat, I wanna test something on you,"

Looking at him confused, you looked at the food before looking back at him and shrugged. "Alright," you shrugged, putting the bag on the table that was in front of the couch.

"Stand up, please," Mingyu requested and you did, and he moved so he was behind you, which confused you even further.

Deciding not to question it, you looked at him from behind to see him grab the underside of your belly. When he lifted your belly up, you instantly felt relief feeling that a massive weight was just removed from you (which did, technically).

You sighed in relief, resting your head on Mingyu's shoulders and basking in the moment where there was no extra weight.

The pregnancy, as happy as you were starting a family with Mingyu, left your body sore constantly. And Mingyu knew this, since he's witnessed how your body was changing and even massaged your feet whenever you asked.

"How do you feel?" Mingyu asked.

"Like you should do this for the rest of my pregnancy," you said, smiling up at him.

"I don't think I can do it for that long, but I'll do it whenever you ask," he told you.

"Where do you learn how to do this?"

"Wonwoo sent me a TikTok of a man doing this to his wife so he gave me the idea," he explained.

You and him were in the position for a few minutes before he decided to say, "okay, I think I'm going to let you go,"

"No," you said, dragging out the 'o'.

He kissed the crown of your head in an apology before moving away and sitting on the couch. You sat beside him and kissed him in thanks.

"Love you,"

[beelmons]

A/N: There's a trend on tiktok where men are saying how after they started... uh... doing hardcore cunnilingus... their beards started to turn orange. so.... bearded spencer with a girlfriend he likes to treat right?

cw: slightly NSFW, not recommended for minors!

Spencer is a man you could describe as "raggedy". Hair always dishelved, tie slightly crooked, pants that don't ever quite fit him as they should. You never cared, and neither did he, because everything else made up for it. Your boyfriend was hot, and after he decided to let his beard grow a bit, he was hotter, if possible.

Of course, using your girlfriend privileges, meant you got to use his new attractiveness to your convenience, and boy, was it going great. People at the office began to notice him being more relaxed and even focused. They had started to pay closer attention to Spencer and how his demeanor changed. Sure, they didn't exactly know what you did to him, and no one dared to ask, but they were sure it had to be sexual in nature. No one could be that happy out of the blue.

It wasn't until one day where Luke noticed something a little off about his friend that the conversation finally arose. "Whoa, whoa, slow down Reid." he said, his hand pressing against the doctor's chest to stop him from walking any futher. JJ, Tara, and Penelope, who was visiting the bullpen, gathered around them with curiosity.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked, confusion written all over his face.

"What's that on your beard?" Luke teased with a bright and playful smile.

"What's what on my beard?" Spencer continued to be unable to understand the situation around him. However, he noticed how his female coworkers seemed to lean closer, trying to get a detailed look of his face.

Without much space for them to move, due to Spencer having a file on his hands, Luke decided to open a wide path and removed the document from him.

"You're right, Luke," JJ started to observe "it kind of looks like orange hairs on his beard?"

"You gotta have that looked at, boy genius, could be a bad sign." Penelope made a concerned remak.

"Could be because of the stress" Tara added.

"Nah!" Luke blurted out with a loud laugh "If anything, it's just proof that he's less stressed, or rather, that that girlfriend of his is way less stressed." he continued to chuckle as he spoke.

"How do you mean?" Reid asked, still unsure of the insinuation his friend was making.

"Did you know, ladies, that vaginal PH can bleach almost anything? from underwear to facial hair if the exposure is constant enough." he made sure to stare right into Spencer's eyes as he spoke, the smug, cheeky smile never leaving his face.

There was a collective and teasing 'ooooooooh' coming out from every girl around him, and Spencer could feel how the red tint began to spread from the base of his neck towards his face.

"That's my girl, always putting herself first!" Tara exclaimed with a laugh of her own.

"I didn't know you had it in you, Spence, good for you." JJ added as she squeezed her friend's arm.

"She's so lucky." Penelope grunted.

Luke's shitty grin disappeared from his face the moment Reid laid sharp daggers on him coming directly from his eyes. His hands darted to aggressively snatch the file back from his partner's "Decoloration of the facial hair can be due to genetic mutations or overexposure to the sun, so get your facts straight before you start talking nonsense." he said with a clearly pissed-off tone before he bolted off somewhere else.

Behind him he could still hear laughs and giggles, and they didn't help the still present crimson color of his face. His anger hadn't been because they were disrespecting you, you were well aware they could tease you like that, but rather because he felt seen through. Regardless of the wrong hypotesis, Luke had been correct. Ever since he grew out his beard, he was kept on a fluid-based diet. Your fluids, mostly.

[loveiis]

oh you fancy, huh?

chris sturniolo x black!fem!reader

summary: chris pretty much has a thing for seeing you all dolled up for a just a day of spoiling you. he loves spending his money on you all the time and seeing your reaction when he randomly takes you out to get your nails done and go shopping.

warnings: suggestive jokes, cursing, fluffy, NOT PROOFREAD

(A/N: i am somewhat proud of this but also not at the same time. i literally wrote this because apparently it was an idea i recently had. idk.)

“come on ma, you’ve been in that bathroom for an hour already.” chris called from the other side. “sorry bae, im coming i promise. one more thing.” you responded, dragging your lip gloss across your lips.

you forced the applicator back into the container, and walked out the bathroom to see your boyfriend scrolling on his phone. he looked up at you, looking at how beautiful you looked dolled up like this.

“damn, i didn’t know you were doing all that.” placing his phone in his pocket, he kissed up and down your neck softly. “chriiis, let’s go i’m ready.” you cupped your hands around his neck as he kissed up your jawline and finally placed a kiss on your lips.

“mm, i like that cherry.” licking his lips and tasting the bit of lipgloss on his lips now. “ew, chris. dont eat the lipgloss.” you swiped it from his mouth with your thumb. “i’ll eat you if you don’t stop touching my lips like that.” he looked down at you with low eyes.

you removed your thumb from his mouth and instead held his hand. “lets go, please. you’ve been waiting and i feel bad.” you say softly. “its okay, ma. it was worth the wait to see you look like a full course meal.” he smirked.

“chris.” you glared at him. “okay, sorry. let’s go.” he started walking, keeping his hand intertwined with yours.

he opened the car door for you, giving him a small “thank you” before settling in. he got into the drivers seat and started the car.

“we should go get your nails done before we go shopping.” he stares at you. “how’d you know i needed to get them done again?” you quirked an eyebrow.

“cause’ i got you a tech without your permission. you haven’t been able to tell by the amount of times i’ve taken you to get them done again?” he replies.

“no, actually i didn’t notice. that’s so sweet of you, baby you know you don’t have to do all this.” you hold his hand as a thank you.

“actually i do, spoiling you is my middle name.” he kissed the top of your hand. yeah, you’re marrying this guy.

he pulled out of the driveway, starting his destination to the place you usually get your nails done at.

——

“hey girl good to see you again!” the nail tech, rachael, greeted you. “heyy!” you gave her a nice hug. “so what we getting today?” she asked. you didn’t really plan this out, since it was kind of a last minute decision made by your boyfriend.

“ummmm….” you slowly turn to look at your boyfriend, who’s again, scrolling on tiktok. “ma, you know you can get whatever you want. i’m not going anywhere.” he deadpanned.

you rolled your eyes as you thought about what you should get. “uh, lets just do regular coffin french tips.” you turned to smile at her. “feet too? or no?” she asked. “no, not today.” you shook your head. “okay, lets get started.” she walked towards a manicure table and sat in the chair, as you followed behind and sat on the other side.

your boyfriend sat in the chair next to you, at the other manicure table. she started to get to work on your nails, as your boyfriend sat patiently next to you, occasionally checking on the process to make sure they look nice.

——

“baby, they’re done.” you wiggle your fingers in front of him, showing off your new set. he immediately looked up from his phone, smiling. you smile, doing a little shoulder dance, happy with your new nails.

chris loved to see you like this, happy with new things he bought you, looking like the happiest girl in the world.

you both stood up from your chairs, moving to the front desk to pay. “you look so pretty, baby.” chris stood behind you, his hands on your hips and kissing your neck.

rachael smiled and mouthed the words “yall are so cute”. you smiled at her comment. “how much?” you asked. “twenty dollars.” she leaned over the counter. “twenty? thats different from the last time i got these.” you questioned.

“yeah, twenty dollars because i love you guys. we’re like family now.” she shrugged. you chuckled, reaching into your purse to grab a twenty dollar bill, until a hand slapped your wrist.

“ow! what the fuck chris?!” you twisted your head a bit to look at him, who was still kissing your neck. using his left arm to hug your waist, he used his right to pull out his black card and hand it to you. “its just twenty dollars, jesus you don’t need to flex. its only rachael.” you rolled your eyes, handing rachael the card.

she scanned the card, and handed it back to you. “have a great day guys!” she waved at both of you. chris stopped kissing your neck and waved as you did too. you both walked out of the place, chris’ arm wrapped around your waist. “thank you baby.” you kissed his cheek as a reward.

“you say thank you in that tone again and i swear to god im gonna fuck the shit out of you.” he says, pressing the button to unlock the car. “whats going on with you today?” you get in the car as he holds the door for you.

he gets in the car, starting it up. “nothing, you’re irresistible, you know that.” he pulled out the parking lot, his right hand on your thigh.

——

you arrived at the mall, chris holding your hand as you both walked in together. chris had felt pretty scared since you were looking a little too good today and you were out in public.

“lets go to windsor.” you suggested. “wherever you want, just take me there. don’t even ask.” he once again kissed your hand, but kept holding it as you led him to windsor.

you looked around at the dresses, grabbing a formal one, and a sundress. he wasn’t really paying attention to what you were grabbing, so you went into the fitting rooms with him.

he waited outside while you tried on the formal dress, it was a sparkly blue skin tight dress.

“okay, im done.” you came out the tiny fitting room, stopping in front of your boyfriend who was sitting down on the complementary bench. he looked up at you. “what’s this dress for?” he caressed your sides with his hands.

“maybe for like parties or something, when i wanna go out with my girlfriends.” you looked at him, knowing he was going to say something stupid.

“oh you fancy, huh?” he smiled at you. “boy what do you know about fancy?” you chuckled.

“i listen to that song, what do you mean?” he continued rubbing your sides. “mhm, sure baby.” you laughed. “don’t doubt me, ma.” he said. you shook your head, and went back to the room to try on the next dress.

you came out again, this time with the sundress on. you gave him a little twirl and asked him what he thought about it.

he didnt say anything, but he stood up and got closer to you. he placed his hands on your hips and smiled. “you look so fucking beautiful. in everything. even in what you were wearing today.” he started to kiss your neck, again, for like the third time today.

“does this mean i can get both dresses?” you removed his face from the crook of your neck and looked into his eyes. “yes, baby. get whatever you want. just grab it.” he looked back at you.

he seemed entranced by you. like you put him under a spell today, he has never said no to his sweet girl, and he never will.

you kiss him softly on the lips and go back to the fitting room to change back.

you grab both of the dresses and head to the register, chris immediately giving you his black card again.

you started to hit more stores, never forgetting to say thank you to your lovely boyfriend everytime he got you something. even though there were clothes he didn’t like, but you did, he couldn’t say no. you were his weakness, and the way you looked today just made him even weaker.

chris carrying about four clothing bags and you carrying three sephora bags headed back to the car. putting the bags in the backseat you sat in the front as he got in the drivers seat.

“i love you so much chris. thank you for today, you know you didn’t have to.” you smiled at him. god he was gonna lose it if you smiled at him like that again.

“i do have to, i’m never going to not spoil you. i love you too, okay?” he lifted your chin with his index and thumb and placed a light kiss on your lips. “still liking that cherry flavor, ma.” he licked his lips, smirking. you rolled your eyes as he plugged in the aux cord.

“oh lord, what’re you about to play now?” you looked at him. “you’ll see.” he grinned at you.

“Go, go 'head (Go, go, go)”

“oh my god, chris.” you smiled, knowing he was playing Fancy by Drake. he started to head bop to the beat, you joined in after a little while.

“this song was made for you baby.” he says, driving out the parking lot. “that’s what you think.” you looked out the window, listening to the song.

“oh you fancy, huh?” chris sang along with the lyrics.

——

when you arrived back home, you both took the bags inside and placed them upstairs as you started to get unready.

chris was now in grey sweatpants and a white shirt, while you removed your makeup and wore one of chris’ shirts and nothing but underwear underneath.

chris laid back in the bed, waiting for you to finish whatever you were doing. you came out, no makeup or anything like that on. “you still look so pretty. how am i so lucky to have such a beautiful girl?” he opened his arms as you climbed into them.

you laid on his chest, his right arm around your waist and your right leg across his. he used his other arm to pull up the covers, and then placed it back on you.

“thank you baby.” you lifted your head a bit to look at chris, then scooted up a bit to cup his cheeks in your palms, and placed a bunch of kisses all over his face. you wanted to show him how thankful you are for a man like him.

“stop kissing me im seriously about to lose it.” he halted your actions. you went back down to your position, chris rubbing your back in up and down motions.

you get more comfortable as your eyelids started to feel heavier, falling asleep in your boyfriends arms.

[thatfreshi]

"Some Kind of Melancholic Mist" (Uni AU P. 8)

tw - themes of anxiety

As all good moments do, this one ends. You're almost too busy taking in Astarion's genuine smile to notice when he goes to check his phone. You don't pry, but he clearly isn't happy with whoever's calling him.

"Sorry, I have to take this."

The mood shifts very suddenly, like it felt at the party that night. You stay silent, not wanting to interrupt. When he puts his phone up to his ear, you notice the scrap piece of paper you wrote your phone number on, folded in the back of his phone case.

"Yes?

You said tomorrow.

No I-

Yes.

Yes I know.

When?

Now? That's-

Yes.

Yes, of course."

The call ends abruptly, and you see his hand tense around his phone.

"You have to go?"

"Yes, sadly. This though? It was... it was nice. And I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Because I believe you have poor taste in people, and I hope it doesn't get you hurt. That's all. I'll see you around."

Before you can say goodbye, he's gone, like he turned into some kind of melancholic mist. The magic of the moment is tainted. It's as if that entire hour disappeared, sand running through your fingers. Not sure what to do with the sudden downfall of your feelings, you travel back to your dorm room, and find Gale standing outside. He's on the phone, a big smile across his face.

"Of course. I'll see you then."

You have an evil little smirk on your face when he notices you approaching.

"Was that... your secret lover?"

He almost wants to roll his eyes, but talking about her is just too exciting.

"Yes. God, she's spectacular. Surprised she even wanted to start seeing me, but it's far too late to question it now! Just have to enjoy the glorious hand I've been dealt."

"Nice to know at least one of us is happy. You here to see Shadow?"

"Yes. Apparently Karlach messaged her privately, asking if she wanted to go to some diner tonight, and now she's all nervous."

"Then I guess we have ourselves a mission Gale."

The two of you shake hands like you're in some cheesy sitcom, and laugh to yourselves. He holds the door open for you after you scan your key.

"Where have you been by the way? I saw you skulk off with your little lover boy."

"It's not like that. I just think he's nice, misunderstood. We talked about philosophy stuff for a while. It was really nice actually."

Your conversation is interrupted by Shadowheart, who walks up to the two of you with both eyes done in a completely different makeup style, somehow both being intensely sad and greyscale.

"There you are Gale! I can't decide if I should do the winged liner with the glitter shadow, or the smudge with the matte! I have like an hour!"

He grabs her hands.

"Okay first of all, you know doing the smudge only looks cool on TikTok. Second of all, you would really give up the opportunity to show her that you know how to do a cat eye?"

"Ugh, you're right. See, this is why we're best friends! Because I'm pretty and fun and smart, and you're the voice of reason!"

She walks off to the bathroom to wipe off the right eye, and Gale follows.

"Hey, I am also pretty and fun and smart thank you very much!"

You follow the two of them to the tiny bathroom as Shadowheart haphazardly starts removing the eyeshadow.

"You two have to come with me, or else I will make a fool of myself. And you know I hate making a fool of myself."

"Shadow, she most certainly wanted this to be a date."

"Yes, and I won't get a second one if I look like an idiot. Please?"

"I'll go, but if I'm a mood killer that's your fault."

She then turns to you.

"Uh, sure! I have nothing else to do."

"Thanks! I would hug you guys, but you know I hate touching people."

After arguing with Shadowheart about what outfit she should wear, the three of you pile into Gale's car.

"I'm telling you, if I have to drive there I will throw up."

"Fine, I'll believe you, but you're paying me for gas."

You sit in the back because Shadow calls shotgun, but you don't mind the roominess. Gale's car is one of those sensible vans, a mom-mobile type. It's close to 4:30 now, and you stare out at people walking down the sidewalk, going about their daily lives. You wonder about the strangers, if they're happy, if they're off to do something important. When you get bored of theorizing on the lives of others, you go back to scrolling through your phone, and you're met with a message in the newly made group chat.

mama_k: Hey guys! Just wanted to say hi :)

Shadow giggles in the front seat.

"Agh, she's adorable! Gale, I don't know how you don't understand the hype around her. Karlach's wonderful."

"Well, firstly I'm a taken man. But also you barely know her."

"She's like a golden retriever! Tav, you get it right? Or are you still thinking about your new pale friend?"

"I'm telling you, it's not like that."

"It was like that when you had sex with him."

You kick the back of Gale's seat.

"He didn't even like the sex anyways! So it's whatever."

Shadowheart turns around to look at you.

"Wait, you're telling me you had sex with him, and it was bad?"

"No, that's the confusing part, is that it was really good, he just didn't seem into it?"

"Well, when you fuck as much as he does, I'm sure you get bored."

You and Shadow both turn to Gale.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, working with Mystra I hear plenty of things from other people in the arts. Assistants, hairdressers, make-up artists. Let's just say plenty of them have experiences with him."

"Well, I mean whatever floats your boat I guess. I'm not one to judge, love a good one-night stand when I'm desperately single."

Gale and Shadowheart continue to talk about her ho phase, as well as her upcoming date that you two are crashing. You think hard about Gale's comment, and what that means for you. Technically, it means nothing, especially if you were just one in a long line of hookups, but why go through the effort if he didn't even enjoy himself? Perhaps you really were just that rusty. Before your thoughts run any deeper, you've arrived at the diner, a small place with an arcade in the back. Karlach knocks on the window next to Shadow, scaring everyone in the car. When everyone calms down from the fright, the four of you make it inside.

"So, you brought along Gale and Tav?"'

The wrestler seems a little dissapointed.

"I just thought they'd be fun! But I'm sure if we get bored of them, we can ditch them."

The two women laugh, grazing hands, which causes Shadow's face to go red fairly quickly. All four of you order some greasy food, cheap stuff to share between all of you, and you quickly find yourself sitting in a small booth next to Gale, across from the two sapphic lovebirds. You all shoot the shit for a while, picking at boneless wings and cheese fries, feeling like true college kids. It's close to 6 now, and Karlach has slowly inched her arm over Shadowheart's shoulder. While you smile at the sweet moment, the two staring into each other's eyes like middle schoolers, your phone vibrates in your pocket. A call from an unknown local number. You step outside and answer the phone.

"Tav?"

The voice from this afternoon.

"Yeah?"

"Can we talk... please?"

You almost don't know what to say, surprised Astarion even called.

"Sure. What about?"

"No, I mean in person. I really don't like phone calls, I just- I'm freaking out."

[abschaumno1]

How Not To Distance Yourself From Fandom Drama As A Youtuber

Hi,

this is addressing what Scott Smajor said on stream regarding recent twitter harrassment of Ecto. I will preempt this by saying that I have known Ecto for a few years now and I support them. I think I have made my stance on "problematic content" and antis clear in the past, but to summarise: I am against censorship and harrassment. People can and should create whatever they want. If someone has an issue with what they make they should block and move on.

With that out of the way, what did Smajor actually say?

If you don't want to go to TikTok to hear it here's a transcript:

“If you don’t know what this is about, that is fine, you can stay not knowing. But if you do, this is me mentioning it, okay? I’m gonna do it. So. I’m going to try keep this short and simple, as I just want to clear some stuff up, I do not support proshipping. And until yesterday, I had no idea what proshipping was. Um, after last MCC, I removed, uh, Twitter from my phone, and I would only use it if I was on my laptop while I was travelling to VidCon and visiting [?]. So, on Saturday I was packing up my stuff and I checked Twitter before I shut off my laptop and noticed that an artist I followed, um, was receiving death threats and hate. And, me, not knowing fully what was going on, I shot them a DM along the lines of ‘sorry you’re getting hate’. Um, and then I logged out and flew home [?]. That was my mistake, as I should not have said anything without fully reading what was going on. Um, I’d just seen someone upset and wanted to help. After I got home and found out what was happening, I realised that people were saying that my DM meant I supported it, again, I do not. Um, I immediately unfollowed the artist, and have since told them that I do not- I did not realise the full degree of what had happened. Um, since this, I have made the decision to step away from Twitter, really. Um, I’m gonna do my best not to log in to look at it, um, or if you, or someone you know, is affected by this stuff, please do find the help you need, and take steps, uh, to protect your own mental well-being, like I am. Um, I would also like to say that my boundaries, um, with fanart and such has changed, and I am no longer okay with NSFW art of me or my characters. Um, and, that is the last I am going to talk on this subject. — As I said, chat, if you don’t know what it is, or what’s going on, enjoy the ignorance, enjoy the bliss. Just, you don’t need to know anything, nothing else is happening here, we’re not talking about it, we’re not going to be answering questions in chat, that’s it. Done."

(See also this twitter thread)

I'm not gonna inspect every word in that tbh and I've talked extensively about what I think of creator boundaries in fandom before so I'll spare you guys that. But there are a few points I want to address.

"And until yesterday, I had no idea what proshipping was."

I will say that I have no idea how the term was explained to him or where he got his definition from. I do know there are various definitions floating around the internet, often biased in their approach. It might be that he got one of the definitions that was heavily biased towards the anti side. I won't judge him for that. The internet, and this discourse in particular is hard enough to navigate for someone who knows their way around it.

I will also acknopwledge that it might be hard for an outsider to understand any of it in the first place.

Which is why I think the statement "I do not support proshipping" is not the statement to make in this situation. This is not a discussion he has any experience with. And I am perfectly aware of how loud antis can get, particularly on twitter. This should not be a statement. Not just because I disagree with it. He is entitled to his opinion, as am I to my own. But because as a youtuber or any other celebrity or creative, you have to realise where your space ends and fandom begins and you have to realise that fandom will have its own rules and discussions and terms.

Honestly, it's like walking into a foreign country, reading one newspaper and starting to make statements about their politics. It can and will go wrong.

Here's the thing. If you truly think you have to make a statement addressing this particular issue, while completely ignoring any other criticims thrown at you by a lot of the same people who are saying a lot of things about this, try and make an informed statement. And maybe think about the message your sending to your viewers.

Ecto received harrassment, suicide bait, death threads, and got doxxed on top of it all. I would think someone who's been on the receiving end of harrassment the way Scott has been would at the very basic least be able to address that.

Instead, what he actually said amounts to "I don't support them. I wash my hands of all of it. I don't care what you guys do with them."

At best the harrassers will feel vindicated and quiet down. At worst he just enabled them to find their next targets.

I don't think it matters what he (or anyone else really) thinks about the content that Ecto was harrassed over. No one has to like it. But that does not mean there should be any doubt about the fact that harrassment and doxxing are wrong and that there should be no space for that. Not suppporting someone is one thing. Being someone with a platform who makes a statement like this, effectively giving in to people who have harrassed someone with a vastly smaller platform, without even mentioning that the harrassment is not okay, is a very different thing.

I understand that Scott might also be trying to protect his own mental health. I understand his history with twitter. But I will say that telling affected people to "take steps to protect your own mental well-being" is not the statement I personally think he should be making. I guess we'll just leave everything to the loudest, worst people then instead of even pretending what they're doing is not okay.

Hands down, the statement he made feels very much like he's saying "but surely the leopards won't eat my face". It's only been a day and MCC teams were released. The leopards on twitter are eating his face once again. And I wager I am not the only one out there who now knows that a youtuber we enjoyed watching would rather side with people who send death threats and doxx others than their victims.

[altraviolet]

Gothikana: editing advice

ok alright, first things first: this post isn't for fans of Gothikana, the author, or any of the author's associates. it might make you feel bad to read and that's not the point. the point is to give examples on how to improve writing

Gothikana is a dark romance book with a beautiful hardcover print edition published by an imprint of Macmillan. it became popular through tiktok. my friend DNF'd this book and gave it to me to try. having read the first 17 pages, I was struck by how amateurish the writing is. the only way I can get over the fact that this is published and makes money and presumably had editors look at it this is to show you what I mean and how I would've advised the author to edit the story

this is not an admonishment of dark romance or the genre overall. I've heard "it's problematic" but that's not what we're getting into. I don't care about that. I've only read 17 pages. I'm literally talking about the writing, here.

this isn't fanfic: this is a published novel that people have to pay for. this isn't fanfic: this is a published novel that should meet certain expectations for an adult audience regarding craft and logic. this isn't fanfic: it's a product to be sold and it's eligible for serious discussion and evaluation.

Broad strokes, here are the things I noticed on the first read through up to page 17:

too many adverbs

awkward info dumping

awkward sentence phrasing

poor descriptions

character stating her wants directly to the reader

Can some of the above be stylistic? Yes. Can some of the above be purposeful? Uh, sure, but why would you break the rules without understanding them?

1: TOO MANY ADVERBS

Larry continued his barrage of information, winding the small private black car up the slightly inclined road.

That "slightly" took me right out of reading. It felt incredibly out of place. Oddly and unnecessarily specific. Later in the prose, it is mentioned that the incline steepens. So I suppose that's why it's mentioned as being slight at this point. But it's so awkward. A better way to do it might be to drop the adverb and acknowledge that we're going up a mountain, because we are.

While we're here, let's tidy up that long sentence:

Larry continued his barrage of information, winding the private black car up the base of the mountain.

Spoilers for the next section, that barrage of information is an info dump!

Before Corvina could go down memory lane, they went around another bend, and suddenly, a looming silhouette of a huge iron gate broke through the fog.

There are many words that editors advise you remove from your prose. "Suddenly" is chief among them. The sentence survives just fine without its "suddenly." There are other issues, too. The sentence is quite long. The "could go down memory lane" sounds really childish. If that element were essential, I would recommend breaking this sentence into two. Since the character was reminiscing in the previous paragraph, the "memory lane" part is extraneous. "Looming" implies the iron gate is tall, so we can get rid of "huge." Here's the bare minimum effort one can do and still improve that sentence:

As they went around another bend, the looming silhouette of an iron gate broke through the fog.

2: AWKWARD INFO DUMPING

The main character, Corvina, is being driven up the mountain by the aforementioned Larry. They have a conversation. It goes like this:

"Not a lot of folks 'round here who go up to that castle 'nymore." [4 long sentences of info dumping comprised of one paragraph about the character's journey up to that point] "And why is that?" [9 long sentences of info dumping comprised of one paragraph about the main character observing her current surroundings and a second paragraph of her talking about her upbringing- we're on the next page now] "Dunno."

By the time we got to "Dunno." I had no idea what question it was referring back to. You can see the technique that was attempted here: the author (presumably) knows info dumping is bad, so they broke it up across a conversation. But the conversation was far too sparse and spaced out. The contents of the info dumping (journey, surroundings, upbringing) absolutely should've been doled out another way.

My suggestion to improve this portion would be to change it entirely. Present the info to the reader in another way. Tighten the conversation.

Boy, oh boy, though. This next example is much worse.

Corvina is our POV character. Corvina is looking at another character, Jade, looking at her. Got that? Corvina is looking at Jade looking at Corvina, and this happens:

She knew what the other girl was seeing. A short, slight girl of heritage unknown, with violet eyes that tilted upward at the corners, sun-kissed skin even though she rarely spent much time in the sun anymore, a nose ring, long black hair in a braid that reached her waist, dressed in loose black pants and a thin purple sweater.

This is obviously the "Main Character looked in the mirror so that they could describe themself to the reader" scene. And oh my godddddd it's so awkward and badly done. Maybe it looks fine in isolation, but embedded in the text as it is, it's just no good.

My suggestion to improve this section would be to dole this information out as needed. Fiddling with the nose ring earlier, or braiding her hair, or scratching at a stain in her clothing. Any little detail like that could be put somewhere else, and over the course of a few pages, sneakily build up the picture of the character. Those particular things (fiddling, braiding, scratching at stains) have an added bonus of showing you a little of what the character is like.

3: AWKWARD SENTENCE PHRASING

A group of boys sitting on the steps outside a tower to their left came into view, their conversation stopping as all eyes fell on their group.

Things that contribute to the awkwardness of this sentence:

it's very long

"a group of boys sitting on the steps outside a tower to their left" is like, the whole subject of the main verb. THAT'S SO MUCH SUBJECT

the word "group" is in there twice

the verbs are sitting, came, stopping, fell. -ing, past tense, -ing, past tense. that's a lot of verbs for one sentence

Here are some things I would suggest:

break this sentence into at least two sentences, with emphasis on clarifying that "so much subject" in 2 point above

use a stronger verb than "came into view." this feels like a turning point in the story: emphasize the striking visual

use words other than "conversation stopping" to indicate that the conversation has stopped. this will add interest and show, not tell

show the boys' reaction to the approaching characters (for example: X sneered while the others snapped their mouths shut). nothing too involved, but something that shows rather than tells

if the fact that the tower is on their left isn't specifically important, leave that detail out

4: POOR DESCRIPTIONS

Corvina rolled her window down slightly, looking out at the natural, incredible beauty of the mountain. The sight was unlike anything she had ever seen before. Where she came from, the woods had been more yellow and the air more humid.

Did you catch that? The descriptions are "natural, incredible beauty" and "unlike anything she had ever seen before." SO WHAT DID IT LOOK LIKE?? We aren't directly told. We get a sense that the woods are less yellow and the air less humid than another place we don't have a description of, given the last sentence. But we still don't actually know what she's looking at.

Advice I've seen over and over and over again: never describe something as "beautiful." Describe what makes it beautiful.

There are an infinite number of ways this paragraph could be improved. I would advise giving specific details that come together to paint the exact, beautiful picture you are going for. And also get rid of that adverb. It doesn't matter. If the contrast to home is essential, you can preserve that, but I think it's better without it.

Corvina rolled her window down. Pine-scented air filled the car and she coughed. The breeze was far less humid than those back home. The trees blanketed the mountain in rich greens girded in white, like massive emeralds hammered into the snow by a giant.

I have no idea if the above is the kind of vibe the author would like, but it gives you a scent, a visual, and also presents Corvina as an imaginative character.

Corvina stared up at the towering wrought-iron gates as they passed, and officially entered the university premises. The flutter in her belly became a quake as she put her head out the window to peer up, and finally saw the castle perched on top of the mountain. The closer they got, the larger it became. Calling it a castle was an understatement. It was a monstrosity, a beautiful, stunningly constructed monstrosity.

Ah, there's that "beautiful" again. I expected the next paragraph to go into detail about what the castle looks like. Why it's beautiful and why it's a monstrosity. But the next paragraph is the car stopping and Corvina getting her luggage.

So, I have no idea what this castle looks like. Ironically, we get the verbs stared up, peer up, and saw in quick succession, but we don't know what the castle looks like. I consider this a poor description.

To improve this paragraph, I would again advise an actual description of what the character is seeing, rather than just calling it pretty and big. One assumes it's a gothic style castle, so there are conventional structures the author can pull from. It's very, very easy to link architecture to emotion. Using the right descriptors will give the reader a sense of unease and vastness. You can show the monstrosity by using unusual descriptions on conventional items. Again, there are an infinite number of ways to do this. To try to build a sense of dread, I'm going to describe the gates below.

The gates to the university premises swung aside. Corvina expected their massive hinges to creak, to shake the whole car, but they were absolutely silent. She gripped the door handle and contorted, sticking her head out the window. She got only a quick impression as they passed through. The wrought-iron bars were as thick as her waist. They joined together in a panicked tangle overhead, all choked, leafy scrollwork and glinting finials.

I'd describe the castle, too, but hey. I'm not gettin' paid to do this. You can (hopefully) feel something while reading this. The gate is given dimensions to express its size ("as big as her waist"). The decorative nature of the gate is described with frantic-feeling words: panicked, tangle, choked, glinting. Instead of just passively staring up at the gate, I had Corvina grip the door handle and contort herself to look out the window. In essence, she's still staring at the gate. But there's more of an active feel to her actions, now. Use strong verbs, people!

5: CHARACTER STATING HER WANTS DIRECTLY TO THE READER

Okay, here we get to something that's harder to explain.

The character should rarely-to-never flat out explain their wants directly to the reader. We should see them wanting craving yearning for something, not so much be told that they are.

This being a romance and Corvina having no childhood friends makes this difficult: we obviously need to establish that Corvina wants a Man because this is a Romance and That Is What Needs to Happen. However, she has no one she can confide in, except the reader, through the narrative. So we get this:

Corvina felt her face get warm at all the masculine gazes on her, a natural shyness overcoming her. She'd never really interacted with men [ . . . ] Books had become her refuge, especially books with men - humans, shapeshifters, or aliens - who fell in love hard and claimed their women, body and soul. Those were her favorite. Corvina wanted that. She wanted to belong, to be loved, to be absolutely adored, no matter what happened, despite her past. She craved it so badly in her bones, some days she thought she would die from the sheer hunger of it. There was a gnawing ache in her soul, and she desired so, so deeply.

I don't read romance books, but I can see this being the default sort of way to tell the reader "yes, she really wants a man!" It's foreshadowing, in a way. Obviously everything she says she wants here will come through. It's a romance.

Buuuuuuuut... could it have been done better? I think so.

One way an author could do this more artistically is through symbolism. Give Corvina a symbol for her desire, a physical object, that she can clench or squeeze or talk to or otherwise interact with. Usually a friend can fill this kind of role- the character has a conversation with a friend and through this the reader gets the sense that Corvina is lonely and desires a man. But since Corvina has had an isolating childhood, that easy shortcut is absent to us.

So what would I do? I'd have to think about it for a while. I think I'd show her watching couples and feeling jealous. I'd show her reading her books and underlining the sentences that speak to her. I'd show her making a Man out of twigs or something and talking to it. Or picking out pebbles while in the woods - "This one reminds me of the man in the bakery because it's brown, like his hat" - and making a necklace of them all. If she wears the pebble necklace, you know exactly what that means. She wishes she had one of those men.

This process of brainstorming ways to give the reader information creatively is part of the craft of writing. To improve your craft, you need to read and write. Observe those with experience, and practice to gain experience. I really, really think it's worth it to improve your craft above the level we're seeing here.

A FEW MORE QUICK NOTES I WANTED TO SHARE

QUICK: HOW TO SHOW, NOT TELL

A quick example of tightening and strengthening a sentence:

Larry had been surprised when she'd given him her destination on the mountain, to the point that he'd prayed before starting the car.

Here the author is telling the reader that Larry is surprised, then showing his fear by stating that he prayed. The praying part is really good. That's how you say things without directly saying them. Dropping the "surprised" will both strengthen and shorten this sentence:

When she'd given him her destination on the mountain, he'd prayed before starting the car.

Easy fix!

QUICK: DIALOG FLOW

"Hi, I'm Jade." Corvina liked her immediately. "Corvina," she introduced herself, her voice sounding raspy in contrast to Jade's feminine lilt. "Cool name. First year?" Jade asked, plopping down on her suitcase, her short, pale legs exposed in jean shorts. Corvina wondered if she felt cold at all. "Yes. You?" she asked.

We're going to skip over ALL the other things that could be improved here and concentrate on one thing. I highly suggest that Jade's paragraph be restructured.

Right now we have:

Jade statement. Jade question. Description of Jade. Corvina wonders. Corvina answer.

I suggest changing it to:

Jade statement. Description of Jade. Corvina wonders. Jade question. Corvina answer.

The reason is so that when the reader reads Corvina's answer, they doesn't have to remember back to what Jade's question was in the beginning of the paragraph.

This sounds like a really nitpicky thing to advise, but I write this way. I always make sure that dialog flows like this, and I've gotten a lot of comments from people saying, "I usually have a hard time reading, but I can read this. It flows and it makes sense. I usually get lost or lose interest or forget what's happening, but I can read your stuff."

Here's what my suggestion looks like:

"Hi, I'm Jade."

Corvina liked her immediately.

"Corvina," she introduced herself, her voice sounding raspy in contrast to Jade's feminine lilt.

"Cool name." Jade plopped down on her suitcase, her short, pale legs exposed in jean shorts. Corvina wondered if she felt cold at all. "First year?"

"Yes. You?" she asked.

Easy fix!!!

Alright so! Was that helpful? It was definitely cathartic for me. I'm going to try to read the rest of this novel, but I might not make it xD

I know how hard it is to write, to complete a novel, and to expose this bit of your heart to the world. Please note that this post is not bashing on the author or the readers. I don't want anyone to go out and do that. I want you to take this as a free lesson and improve your own writing. Think about what advice here works for you, and what doesn't. Because some of it might not work for you, and in that case, you get to figure out what does.

Happy writing!

[guqwrvte]

if you’re still taking requests,, could i ask for a meet cute with idol!taehyung? 🥺🥺 could be any dynamic you want!! hope that’s okay <3

⨽ pairing: (soloist) idol!taehyung x reader

⨽ genre: fluff

⨽ warnings: none i think of!

⨽ word count: 1305

⨽ a/n: not sure if this is what you wanted, but i tried! i hope you like it! <3

---

You looked at your phone screen as you nervously fiddled with your fingers, waiting for the call to be connected. 

You couldn't believe that this was happening. You were about to get on a call with the Kim Taehyung. 

At the start of this week, you opened Twitter to see Taehyung had posted a tweet asking fans to enter their names and contact details into a google form because he was going to call some lucky fans. He explained that the winners would be picked based on the number of their submission and the help of google's random number generator. 

You decided to take a chance and filled it in, not expecting to win... especially after the artist posted about how he received over 500 thousand submissions. 

But to your surprise, on Wednesday, you received an SMS from a staff member stating that you were one of the lucky fans to have won a video call. After checking when you were available, they asked you to be ready to call on Friday at 9 pm. 

It was seven minutes past nine, and you were sitting in your room, phone up and leaning against a pile of books as you waited for your phone call with Taehyung to be connected. 

You sighed as you glanced at your mirror, wondering if you should've dressed up a little more. Your hair was in a low ponytail, and you wore a light grey hoodie and white shorts. You weren't wearing any heavy make-up, considering how after the call ended, you were probably going to sleep. You didn't want to waste time removing heavy make-up. 

"Should I have dressed up a bit like the other fans seem to do?" You whispered to yourself.  

This was your first time going on a fan call. From what you saw from tiktoks and videos on Twitter of fans going on calls with their favourite artists, they always seemed dressed up. Either their hair looked amazing, they were in beautiful outfits, or their make-up was on fleek. Sometimes they were all three.

You were so deep in thought that you didn't realise the call connected until you heard a "Hello?"

Your eyes widened, and you turned to the screen to see Taehyung setting his phone up somewhere.   

"y/n, right?" he asked with a smile once the movement had stopped. 

As you slowly nodded, you couldn't help but notice how beautiful he looked, despite being bare-faced and in casual attire. His hair was long and fluffy, almost covering his eyes, and he wore a light grey hoodie.

"Oh! We're matching!" he giggled, pointing to his screen. "And finally, someone who won't make me feel underdressed. Everyone else was dressed in flashy and cool clothing, hair done and make-up looking fire."

"I... I thought about dressing up," you softly said, feeling shy. You couldn't believe you were talking to one of your favourite artists. 

"Well, thank God you didn't," he dramatically sighed before resting his chin in the palm of his hand. "Anyway, sorry for answering late. Did I keep you waiting long?"

"It's okay, and n-no not- not really," you stuttered, mentally cursing yourself for being like this. 

"Are you feeling nervous?" Taehyung asked, cocking his head to the side, and you nodded. "There's no reason to be! Just think of me as a friend and speak comfortably."

'That's not going to be easy,' you thought. 

"Tell me about yourself, y/n. I love getting to know about the people who listen to my music," he smiled. "If you don't want to do that, just tell me a random story."

"Uh, okay," you said, shifting in your chair. "I'll tell you a little about myself, then tell you a story."

"Sure! Go ahead."

You began to speak, telling Taehyung little things about yourself, occasionally agreeing with you on some of your likes and dislikes. 

"You don't like coffee much either?" He asked when you briefly mentioned how you preferred tea compared to coffee. 

After getting to know you a bit, you moved on to telling him random stories from your life. 

Talking to Taehyung wasn't as awkward as you thought it'd be. It didn't feel like you were talking to your favourite artist anymore... it felt like you were talking to a friend. 

You didn't realise how much time you had spent on the phone with him until your bedtime alarm rang, telling you it was half past ten. 

You and Taehyung had talked for almost one and a half hours. 

"Is someone calling you?' Taehyung asked. 

"No, uhm, it's my alarm," you told him, turning it off. "I'm supposed to be going to bed soon."

"What time do you normally go to bed?" he asked. "It's almost eleven! We've been talking for a while. 

"Eleven," you told him. "And how were we able to talk for so long?"

"The time for artists to talk to fans is shorter when they're in a group. Not to mention there are a lot more fans waiting for their call to be connected," he explained. "I have more time to talk to fans because I'm taking calls during the weekend too. You're the last fan I'm talking to for today, so there's no time limit."

"What's the longest you've talked to a fan?" You asked, wondering how much time he spent talking to others. 

"How long have we been talking for?" 

"About an hour and a half," you replied, looking at the time again. 

"That's the longest I've talked to a fan," he chuckled. "You're an interesting person, y/n. I liked hearing your stories and getting to know you a little."

It was true. 

Most fan calls barely exceeded 45 minutes because things between him and the fan were awkward (no matter how hard or many times he tried to lighten the mood), or fans were weird and crossed some lines. 

There were a couple of good and 'normal' ones, but there were more bad than good. 

"I'd love to tell you more, but I need to prepare for bed. I have a busy day tomorrow," you frowned, and a playful pout appeared on his face. 

You couldn't believe that you were the one who was ending this conversation. You really didn't want to, but you had to. 

"Aw, I was hoping we could talk longer, but I understand. When will I get to talk to you again?" He asked.

"The next time I fill in a google form and magically win a fan call," you chuckled. "And only you know when that'll be."

"T-that's- that's so far," he whined, knowing the company wasn't going to do this again for a while. 

"Until then," you shrugged. "I've really got to go. I'm so happy I got to talk to you."

"Aw, it's okay. Let me not keep you any longer," Taehyung smiled, waving. "It was nice meeting you, y/n. We'll talk again soon!"

Before you could say anything else, he ended the call. 

"I'm going to save their details on my personal phone and just message them myself," he whispered, taking out his phone.  

He enjoyed talking to you so much that he just had to save your details. He couldn't wait for you to enter whatever competition or event the company planned. 

As soon as he ended the call, you couldn't help but squeal. You talked to the Kim Taehyung, and it went way better than you thought it would. 

While you were finally allowing yourself to fangirl, a notification came in, and it was from an unknown contact. 

"Who?" you frowned, taking your phone to look at the message. 

Instead of waiting for a google form, you could've asked me to save your details! That way we don't have to wait that long to be able to talk to each other again - Taehyung ^^

[youngharleezy]

Tickles and TikToks

A lil fluffy collab with my girly @harlowcomehome 💖 we spent the past couple of days writing for y’all and this one was definitely so much fun. A lil fluff to go with your earlier angst if you will hehe

I hope you guys enjoy!!!!

You and Jack were laying in your bed as you both mindlessly scrolled through your phones. It wasn’t common that the two of you both had a day off that aligned, but you did today and you weren’t going to let it slip away.

“You know what we should do?” You say in excitement, jumping out of your spot on the bed, looking at Jack in eagerness.

“Uh…” Jack starts, already not liking whatever idea you had made up due to the look on your face.

“We should try these TikTok dances out!” You start, interrupting Jack. You make your way to his side of the bed, grabbing his hands in yours as you drag him off the bed. He gives you a look in hesitation, but he was a sucker. He wasn’t going to let your happiness slip away.

He stands exactly where you instructed him to, letting out a sigh as you positioned the camera to face the two of you. “So here’s what you do,” you start in excitement, turning to look at Jack. He was giving you a look of concern, a laugh itching to leave his body at your excitement. “Don’t give me that look, you’re gunna love this.” You quickly tell him, him raising his hands in surrender. He faces the camera once again, waiting for you to continue. “It’s that song by Katy Perry. You’ll know it when you hear it. You just dance like a dumbass. That’s it. Easy.” You tell him, Jack gives you a nod in understanding, however his face only showed his hesitations. “You ready?” You smile at him, pressing the record button.

“Babe wait” he huffed, facing you. “I can’t dance, you know that” he laughed and you did too.

“It’s just for fun! I’m not going to post it, it’ll be just for us” you nod and he smiles in response.

“You’re going to have to go slow for me” he laughs, standing beside you, ready to be taught the moves.

“You act like you have no rhythm, don’t tell your family but you’re the only one that does” you giggle, making him less tense as he broke out in a fit of laughter.

“Okay, let’s do this thing,” Jack tells you, shaking his hands to prepare himself to start dancing. You walk up to press play on your phone that was still propped up, stepping back next to Jack as the music starts playing.

Summer after high school, when we first met

It was after you heard the first line of the Tiktok sound that you realized you actually didn’t know the dance either. You turn to look at Jack who was already looking at you with his eyebrow raised. “Why aren’t you dancing?” He asks suspiciously.

“Um- well. Funny story.” You start, the audio still playing. “I actually don’t know the dance either,” you smile to Jack, a small chuckle leaving your body.

“You don’t what now?” He laughed with a raised brow. “Y/N! You had me thinking you had it all together!” He smirked and stifled another giggle.

“See that’s where you fucked up! That’s on you!” You laughed back, making him grab you by the hips and tickle you.

“Jack! Stop!” You squealed. “I’ll get you back!” You mustered out all the energy you could to reply between giggles. You lifted your head up, rubbing your chin in the crook of his neck where he was most ticklish.

He laughed, “that’s not fair!” You were quick and maneuvered your way on top of him. “You did it now!” You laughed before trying your best to hold the six foot three man down.

You somehow managed to pin his arms down with your hands to stop his tickling. You dug your face into the crook of his neck, beginning to nip on his collarbone knowing that was a ticklish spot for him. Jack tried to playfully fight you off as the two of you were fighting for air in between your deep belly laughs. “Mercy! Mercy!” Jack was the first to yell, causing you to come up and remove your hands off his arms.

As soon as he had access to his hands again, he wrapped his arms around you and flipped the two of you over, him now being on top of you. He brings his forehead to yours, just soaking you in that moment.

“I win,” you giggle to him causing him to laugh too.

He finally crashes his lips to yours, the two of you taking the other in.

When you finally come up for air you two are staring into each others eyes, with anyone else this would be tense/ awkward. With Jack you feel like the only woman in the world.

You start to speak but he does too, you giggle. “You first” you hum.

“Thank you for always pushing me out of my comfort zone, and just” he paused “being you.”

You felt your face get hot, “stop, you know I’m sensitive, I’m just a baby” you tease. He bends down to kiss you again, lingering longer than expected.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” You wiggle your brows at him.

“If you’re thinking the tiktok dances can wait and the bedroom dances can begin, then yes” he laughs as he helps you up from off the ground. You run over to your phone immediately, letting out a giggle as you stopped the recording, thankful that you got that whole moment on camera for just the two of you.

[coochiequeens]

Critically-acclaimed transgender horror author hails Osama bin Laden's 'principled' destruction of Twin Towers - months after sharing her desire to slit JK Rowling's throat

Gretchen Felker-Martin, a well-known transgender horror author and journalist, tweeted on Thursday that she admired bin Laden for the 9/11 attacks

Felker-Martin, who in February declared that she wanted to slit JK Rowling's throat, later deleted the tweet and apologized

Bin Laden has returned to public consciousness this week thanks to TikTok users suddenly 'discovering' his 2002 'Letter to America' justifying 9/11 

By HARRIET ALEXANDER FOR DAILYMAIL.COM

PUBLISHED: 22:56 EST, 17 November 2023 | UPDATED: 23:32 EST, 17 November 2023

A transgender horror author who sparked outrage earlier this year by threatening to slit JK Rowling's throat has hailed Osama bin Laden's destruction of the Twin Towers.

Gretchen Felker-Martin on Thursday joined in the chorus of admiration for the al-Qaeda leader, sparked by TikTokers suddenly 'discovering' his rational for 9/11.

The Massachusetts-based author wrote on X, where she has 30,000 followers: 'Can pretty safely state that bin Laden and I did not, uh, agree on much, but blowing up the World Trade Center is probably the most principled and defensible thing he did.'

Bin Laden's 2002 'Letter to America' has been circulating widely this week, in the midst of the Israel-Hamas war.

TikTok users say that bin Laden opened their eyes to American foreign policy and taught them valuable lessons about global geopolitics. The revival in interest, and ignorance of bin Laden's ideas, have caused shock and anger.

Felker-Martin on Friday deleted the tweet, and apologized. She previously shared her desire to cut JK Rowling's throat over the Harry Potter author's stance on transgender issues.

Gretchen Felker-Martin posted, then deleted, a tweet praising Osama bin Laden

The other day in a moment of distress I talked out my ass to play devil's advocate in a tasteless, needless way,' she tweeted. 

'I sincerely regret it, and I apologize to anyone hurt or offended by my thoughtless words.'

But one X user pointed out that she had praised bin Laden in the past.

He cited Felker-Martin's August 2020 tweet, justifying the September 11 attacks.

'The huge crime of 9/11 is that the s*** we do every day overseas gets done to us exactly once,' she said. 

The revival of the 2002 document has bemused and enraged many. 

The White House expressed dismay at the resurgence of interest in the letter.

'There is never a justification for spreading the repugnant, evil, and antisemitic lies that the leader of al Qaeda issued just after committing the worst terrorist attack in American history – highlighting them as his direct motivation for murdering 2,977 innocent Americans,' said Andrew Bates, a spokesman for the White House.

'And no one should ever insult the 2,977 American families still mourning loved ones by associating themselves with the vile words of Osama bin Laden.

'Particularly now, at a time of rising antisemitic violence in the world, and just after Hamas terrorists carried out the worst slaughter of the Jewish people since the Holocaust in the name of the same conspiracy theories.

'Like President Biden said this year in remembrance of the Americans who lost their lives because of Osama bin Laden, 'it's more important now than ever that we come together' against a 'rising tide of hatred and extremism.''

TikTok said they will be removing all content invoking the letter. 

'Content promoting this letter clearly violates our rules on supporting any form of terrorism,' TikTokPolicy wrote in a post to X, formerly Twitter.

'We are proactively and aggressively removing this content and investigating how it got onto our platform.'

The video-sharing platform claims the number of videos on TikTok is 'small' and 'reports of it trending [on the] platform is inaccurate.'  

'This is not unique to TikTok and has appeared across multiple platforms and the media,' the post added.

Videos with the hashtag 'LettertoAmerica' have been viewed 7.3 million times. 

Extraordinarily the majority are claiming support for bin Laden's reasoning - without a thought for the freedoms he criticizes.

The letter began to gain traction online after UK newspaper The Guardian linked to a 2002 article, which translated it in full, in a piece about the ongoing Israel-Hamas war. 

It was subsequently deleted, with the outlet explaining to DailyMail.com that it was being shared 'without its original context.' 

The letter continued to spread on X but was prevented from spreading on Reddit. 

The Guardian did not explain further as to how the link was made between the current conflict in the Middle East and a verbatim letter from bin Laden that was more than 20 years old. 

The link to the letter spread, with hundreds of TikTokers posting videos in response to reading it, in which they appear to confuse the hateful diatribe for an intellectual think piece. 

The letter was originally posted with an article explaining that the original version was in Arabic in a website used by al-Qaeda to 'disseminate messages and 'was sent to hundreds of subscribers to an email list run by Mohammed al-Massari, the UK-based Saudi Arabian dissident.' 

The message added that the US government was included on the list.  

The various trending videos about the letter include no context around bin Laden's life as a jihadist. 

In other sections of his correspondence, bin Laden blames the US government for spreading AIDS throughout the world, described homosexuality as 'immoral' and sought to turn America into an oppressive religious state similar to Afghanistan.

The trend appears to have started with TikToker Lynette Adkins who posted a video on November 14. 

'I need everyone to stop what they're doing right now and go read - it's literally two pages - go read 'A Letter to America,'' she said.

In his infamous letter, Bin Laden ranted that the treatment of Palestinian people had to be 'revenged' and expressed justifications for the killing of civilians in the name of jihad. 

Bin Laden was killed by US Navy SEALs in a raid on his compound in Pakistan in May 2011. 

'The American people are the ones who pay the taxes which fund the planes that bomb us in Afghanistan, the tanks that strike and destroy our homes in Palestine, the armies which occupy our lands in the Arabian Gulf, and the fleets which ensure the blockade of Iraq,' bin Laden wrote. 

For this reason, the Saudi Arabian terrorist wrote, all Americans and Jewish people were culpable for 'the crimes committed by the Americans and Jews against [Muslims].'

Bin Laden wrote that AIDS was a 'Satanic American Invention' and repeatedly made anti-Semitic remarks including suggesting that American society was infiltrated by Jewish people who 'control your policies, media and economy.' 

Felker-Martin is no stranger to courting controversy.  

Earlier this year, named a series of writers she accused of transphobia - including Rowling - in a tweet sent on February 12. 

She added: 'If they all had one throat, man.'

She had earlier decried the murder of British transgender teenager Brianna Ghey 16, and suggested Rowling and her ilk had stoked violence which led to the killing.

Another writer she railed against, journalist Jesse Singal, condemned Felker-Martin for making the death threat, and said she has a long history of making threats of violence. 

In Felker-Martin's debut novel, Manhunt, published in February 2022, Rowling is murdered by being burned alive. 

The book is promoted as 'an explosive post-apocalyptic novel that follows trans women and trans men on a grotesque journey of survival.' It has been lauded as 'visceral' 'gripping' and 'brilliant' by NPR and the New Yorker. 

Felker-Martin's tweet - which she has now deleted - came shortly before she joined 180 activists in signing a letter to The New York Times attacking their coverage of transgender issues, which has seen the paper examine whether young children should be given puberty blockers, or gender reassignment surgery.

Rowling has shared similar views, and also questioned whether trans women should be allowed access to some female-only spaces such as prisons, domestic abuse shelters, or sporting contests.  

[oliviaischillin1204]

This Fanfiction Of Sanders Sides Is Called "Bluey" Part 1: Roman

[olivia's note: hi everyone! this is part 1 of a fic submitted by the incredible, incomparable anne onymous! i absolutely adore bluey and this fic is so freaking cute i can't stand it. thank you so much! <;3]

chapters 1 (2) (3) (4)

Despite being a fatherly figure, part of Patton would always be a child at heart. That's probably how he found himself watching "Bluey". Sure, it was for kids but lots of older people love it too, including Thomas. He was watching the show in the living room when Emile walked in. "Good morning, Patty-cakes. Whatcha watching?" he asked. "Morning Emmy, I'm just watching this new show. Well, not exactly new, it's been out for quite a while, but you should watch it with me. It's so cute!" Patton explained. Emile sat next to him on the couch and immediately recognised the Heelers. "Oh, you're watching "Bluey", I love this show! How far have you gotten?" Emile inquired. "Actually, I finished it. Just having a little season one rewatch. Want me to go back to episode one?" Patton asked. "Sure, if it's no trouble." Emile said. Patton paused the episode he was on and went back to the episode guide to select "Magic Xylophone", the first episode.

"Oh yeah, I forgot this was on Disney+. I guess I got too used to watching those free episodes on TikTok." Emile said. "Normally I wouldn't encourage piracy, but it does make it a lot fairer for those who can't afford it or or just don't have access to every episode." Patton confessed. "Yeah, that's how I see it too. You know, if we're gonna have a Bluey marathon, might as well do it properly." Emile said, snapping his fingers. In an instant, he was wearing a Bingo onesie and holding a Bluey plushie, and Patton wore a Bluey onesie and had a Bingo plushie. Patton gasped in delight and squealed. "I love this! You can summon things too?!" Patton exclaimed, squeezing the toy. "Uh-huh. It's just not really needed in Cartoon Therapy. And when I do use it, it's almost unnoticeable." Emile explained, hitting play. After dancing along to the intro, Emile noticed Patton seemed to be fidgeting and blushing. "You ok?" Emile asked. "Yeah, it's just this scene." Patton admitted. Emile looked back at the TV and saw Bandit playing Bluey like a piano. 

"Roman did the same thing to me a few days ago. When I asked him what was that for, he said..." Patton started before clearing his throat and removing his glasses. "Really, Padre? I thought you of all Sides would know half as much about Bluey as I do." Patton continued in Roman's voice. "Oh my god, you sounded just like him!" Emile giggled. "Thanks. Anyway, that's how I started watching Bluey. After the first episode, I was hooked." Patton said, putting his glasses back on. "So you weren't looking for ways to get him back?" Emile inquired. "No, but I guess I could still do that since there's quite a few tickling scenes in this show. After all, no one gets away with tickling the tickle monster in this household." Patton replied. "That's it! We'll watch every episode we can think of that has anything to do with tickling and then that could get you some ideas!" Emile suggested. "Great idea, Emile!" Patton agreed. As soon as "Magic Xylophone" ended, so began the search for inspiration. They watched "Daddy Robot", "Hotel", "Butterflies", "Mount Mumandad", "Ticklecrabs" and even "Perfect". By the time they were finished, Patton had a few ideas in mind but wasn't sure which one to use for Roman. 

"Sure, Ticklecrabs is pretty teasy and that really gets to him, but surprise tickles work really well too and I could definitely surprise him by being a crazy pillow or crazy blanket. But "Poor Little Bug On The Wall" gave me a really good idea for a tickle game. Oh, why is this so hard?" Patton complained, burying his face in his Bingo plushie. Emile frowned. He hated seeing Patton like this and anyone could tell you that decision making can be a nightmare if there's too many options. Surely he can help somehow. Then it struck him. "Why not try all the techniques on me first? Then you can decide based on which ones felt the most fitting." Emile suggested. Patton looked at Emile and smiled. "Ok. If you're sure." he agreed, cracking his knuckles. Emile giggled nervously as he laid across Patton's lap. After almost 20 minutes of testing different methods, Emile's glasses were fogged up and he was a sweaty, giggly, panting mess. "Thanks for the help, Dr Giggles." Patton said, sneaking a few quick pokes to Emile's tummy before leaving. Emile yawned and went to his room for a well-deserved nap.

Patton knocked on Roman's door, ready to put his plan into action. "Come iiiiin!" Roman sang from inside. Patton let himself in, trying to suppress a smirk. "Hi Roman!" Patton greeted. "Hey Patt–aww, cute onesie. Bluey, huh? Thought for sure you'd go for Bandit since, well, you know." Roman remarked. "Well, we are both dads." Patton agreed. In an instant, he changed his onesie from Bluey to Bandit. As Roman looked down at himself, he realised Patton gave him the Bluey onesie. "Ooh. Thanks." Roman said. "You're welcome, kiddo. I thought Bluey suited you. Although there is one character I think suits you better." Patton replied, summoning a new onesie. Roman looked at his onesie and realised it changed from Bluey to Muffin. "Hey!" Roman protested, glaring at Patton who was already hunched over, laughing. "Sorry, Roman! I couldn't resist!" Patton chuckled, changing the onesie back to Bluey as Roman pouted and mumbled grumpily. "Awww, don't be grouchy. I think I know what'll turn that frown upside down, Mr Grumpy." Patton said, taking his phone out and selecting a Bluey episode: Daddy Robot. Roman smiled and the two sat together on his bed as they watched. 

After a few minutes, the scene where Bandit treats Bluey like a banjo was about to play and Patton was ready to strike. Without warning, he grabbed Roman by the wrists and started "strumming" across his belly. "Gah! Patton, what are you do–Ah! Hahahahaha! Pahahattohohon! Whyhyhyhy?!" Roman chuckled. "My oh my, this is one chatty banjo." Patton teased. Roman was internally facepalming right now. How did he forget Patton is the biggest tickle monster in the Mind Palace? He couldn't help himself when he did what he did last week. When he saw Patton napping in his room with his shirt ridden up, his exposed tummy was practically begging for tickles! And all the different laughs he makes when he's tickled are so cute, from his giggles and snorts, to his baby-like cackles. Curse his adorably misleading ticklishness! "Wait a minute, this isn't a banjo. Silly me. It's a piano!" Patton exclaimed as he released Roman's wrists, singing a tune as he started "playing" him across his ribs and tummy. Roman kicked frantically, curled into himself and even attempted to crawl away, but Patton wasn't letting him go. 

"Ladies, gentlemen and esteemed guests, my sincerest apologies. I seem to be having a bit of a struggle with this piano." Patton joked as he dragged Roman back to his lap. Roman tried to groan but was too busy laughing. He should've known that line would come back to haunt him. "Pahahahat, plehehease! I'm sohohohorry! Hahahahaha!" Roman cackled. "What's the magic word?" Patton asked. "Stohohohop!" Roman squealed. "Actually the magic word was "xylophone", but I'll accept "stop" since this is only fun for me when it's fun for you and you're getting tired." Patton said, stopping immediately. As Roman caught his breath, Patton summoned a glass of water and gave it to him. "Thanks." Roman sighed, gulping it down. "So, what have we learned today?" Patton asked. "Always expect revenge when you tickle the tickle monster?" Roman guessed. "That's there's only one tickle monster and it's not you, mister." Patton said, booping Roman's nose on the last word. "Can't you be THE tickle monster and I can be A tickle monster? Roman reasoned. "Are we gonna have to perform an encore?" Patton asked, wiggling his fingers threateningly. "Nope! Lesson learned." Roman assured, covering his stomach protectively. Patton giggled and got up to leave. 

"At least you're not worse than Remus." Roman muttered. "Huh? What does Remus have to do with anything?" Patton asked. Roman froze. "I don't know, what does Remus have to do with this?" he stammered hesitantly. "You just said I wasn't worse than him. What did you mean by that?" Patton inquired. "I didn't say that." Roman denied. "Roman, don't lie to me." Patton said sternly. Roman sighed. "Fine. Sometimes he randomly pops in here out of the blue and tickles me until I nearly pass out or wet myself. He doesn't care if I keep saying "stop" and I usually have to physically pry him off, if I even have the strength to." Roman explained. "That's horrible! Tickling is supposed to be fun, it's practically a game we're born with in our systems. I know Remus goes overboard with a lot of things, but this is where I draw the line. That kiddo needs a punishment and I'm just the dad for the job. Where is he?" Patton ranted. "How should I know? I'm not a dark Side. Ask Virgil, he used to be one." Roman suggested. "Good thinking, I'll go find him. If Remus comes in here while I'm gone, scream for me." Patton said, leaving the room. "Oh, I'll be screaming alright." Roman grumbled.

To be continued...

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

no trust for any creep that says stuff like "minors should say in their spaces and stay out of adults spaces!" when steadily stuff like animal jam and other kids web games are fading into obscurity / popularity / being removed and you see more kids aged 10 or under on TikTok and whatnot. it is incredibly easy to look up Gardevoir or Pikachu on google and get blasted with nsfw art as the first result... even stuff like the insane amount of pony gore and porn like pony.mov was all over the internet and if you liked MLP it was *impossible* not to see a clip from the shed or look up something as innocent as Applejack x Rainbow dash and see them having sex as horses or whatever if you liked MLP unless your parent monitored everything you clicked. when i was young i saw a nsfw fanfiction of two cats from warrior cats [them being thistleclaw and spottedleaf. In series thistleclaw groomed her as a kitten.] Its insane.

proshippers literally do not care about real kids at all no matter how many ways they cut it its all just a ruse to get people to agree with them in their justification of "dark media." [proshippers always pull the "well uh uhhh lolita-" the bluest eye by toni morrison or lolita isn't even on the same wavelength as a 2k word fic sexualizing a 7 yr old from a kids media to get off to]

Yep. When you enter childrens spaces to sexualize their media and don’t even try to keep it away from the main tags you are the problem. At least with fandoms like Steven Universe it was agreed upon to put nsfw under Steven Galaxy. Undertale had Undertail. If you’re going to be weird about cartoon characters from media enjoyed by minors at least make a separate tag and leave the main tag safe for minors. It isn’t that difficult to do. It’s basic decency.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

SCP(L): Super Crappy Pickup Lines

Ignoring the very anomalous charges under our care, the Foundation is a lot like any other office. There's the office brown-noses, the snitches, the useless, the know-too-much types, the overachievers... and the flirts. Some of us have game, some of us couldn't find games in a toy shop. Here's some of the worst. Triggers: adult content, bad puns.

"That an anomalous sword in you hand 076-2 or are you just happy to see me?" Only Agent Dimitriov can try this and live. Anyone else is just going to become a red smudge on that sword.

"Good thing I'm certified in handling incendiary weapons, as you're smoking babe."

"Hey, sexy mama. Wanna see a naked Mole Rat?"

"Are you a memetic cognitohazard? Cause you keep running through my mind all night."

"Hey, are you a pneumohazard anomaly? I ask, because you take my breath away in that dress."

"You had me at 'cheesecake'."

"I don't know just what it is about you, 173... but I just can't take my eyes off you in that blue dress." That... was weird. Usually CLEF flirts with the Staring Statue, hearing a D-Class say that stuff was scary.

"Better get the MTF up here, that ass so fine shorty bends reality."

"I would bring you the skulls of every enemy of yours if it makes you smile, my (untranslatable)." Huh. Kinda romantic for Big Brother.

"The stars in the night are insignificant compared to those residing in your eyes, my dove." Okay... not going to lie... that was smooth as silk. No doubt about it Iris... Viktor is a keeper.

"The only thing blacker than your coffee preference is your soul. We should have dinner soon."

"I'd breach containment for you. I'd face the Hard to Destroy Reptile for you. I'd even remove a water bottle from your junk, again. I'd do anything for your love... except face the Ethics Committee again. I'm sorry, but you need to buy your own booze tonight, Ben. Bad enough they threatened me with the Red Right Hand after the last incident."

"Dyo, you may be a 'bad guy', but it doesn't make you a bad person. Thanks for telling Lenny the Letch to eat a bag of zombie dicks. Wanna grab coffee?"

"I've got the worst headache in history, 049... and I think a hug from you might be the best cure."

"Hey, can my eel slither in your pond?" That earned a slap from the Water Nymph. I'd have slapped him too.

"My anomalous ability? I made you come with just two fingers."

"I gave up a kidney for you. If that's not love, Charles, tell me what is."

An ANTI-pickup line: "Are you with the Church of the Broken God? Because you're really starting to grind my gears."

"Why yes, 999... that IS a mammoth ice cream sundae with your name on it, and everyone is ALWAYS happy to see you. Wanna play Among Us and chill?"

"Are you a Bixby? Because you're so fine it challenges my notion of reality."

"Of course she's Thaumiel, she's so fine even the Shy Guy stares as she passes by. So what? I'd still suit up to tap that heavenly fineness."

"You look cold, Dr. Iceberg. Maybe a hug would warm you up."

"Doctor, if I said you Light up my life would you be mad at me?"

"I'd gladly be your dinner if I get dessert first, Kuhmiho." Okay, D-2984 must not have been around pretty girls much.

"That a new dress, Dr. Myriad? It looks great on you, but it'd look better on my chair."

"I've got a couple bottles of your favorite wine, a few antimemetics... what say you and I get out of here and not make memories?"

"Oh, sweetie... 343 did his finest work when he made you."

"106... that a Marshall, Carter, & Dark thug? Aw, thank you, sweetheart! I got you one too. Happy Valentine's Day, Larry!"

"Hello, 049. Wanna play Doctor?"

"You're like an annoying TikTok music video, I close my eyes and I hear your voice. You, uh... doing anything tonight?"

[nimona-antifa]

14# for the Salty Ask List! What's your unpopular opinion about your fandom(s)?

OKAY SO. (This will be long, TL/DR at the bottom)

First of all, I love league of legends (as you may have guessed from my profile picture) and my unpopular opinion is that it (both the game and the fandom) gets shit on WAY too much. As someone who loves math, figuring out optimal builds is so much fun for me! I love solving puzzles and making rune pages and builds for different characters and then getting to try them out is so much fun for me! Is there a big Shonen anime brand misogyny problem in parts of the fandom? Yes, absolutely. Is it probably a good idea to mute liberally because of rampant toxicity? Also yes. But I've met some great people there too!!! Maybe I'm just incredibly fucking resilient because I've been dunked in some of the deepest strongest acid vats of toxicity and negativity out there (conservative christian upbringing, league of legends, playing riven specifically, Twitter, tiktok, Steven Universe fandom) and am still a ray of sunshine in person, but I actually quite enjoy it. Do I wish it wasn't hilariously broken with a character roster that's very much male dominated? Yes. Is there a misogyny problem even within the character balancing (male OP characters get ignored or buffed while female OP characters get nerfed into the ground)? Yes. But there's so much fun to be had if you know how.

Okay. Second big fandom is Team Fortress 2 and I think that uh. Well to put it kindly I think a lot of them miss the entire point of the game. They basically have sticks up their asses about weapons being "fair and balanced" and while I agree that they should be to a certain extent, I also think focusing on that too much risks losing the spirit of the game. If I wanted an optimized, polished first person shooter, I'd play overwatch. If blizzard could get it's shit together for five fucking seconds and realize it's making some of the worst possible business decisions with the game that is. But anyway back to TF2. If we were to optimize every single weapon to be 100% fair and balanced, we miss the entire point of the game. Like, a vast majority of the game would be gone if that were the case. It's not very fair and balanced to run through a doorway only to get instantly blown up because there were 5 stickybombs there you couldn't see, but removing that would make it not TF2. I think probably the best example of this is the Sandman and Flying Guillotine combo, may she be restored soon. Was it entirely balanced? No. But in my opinion that wasn't a good reason to remove it entirely. Same with the degreaser/reserve shooter combo. Just because they're annoying doesn't mean you get rid of them entirely. Another thing they get too upset about is when someone dare suggest that a niche weapon should be buffed to checks notes fill it's niche better. Take the amputator. It's niche is to provide AoE healing. But the situations where that's handy become uh. Much less frequent thanks to the specific quirks of how it works. You enter a short taunt during which you can't move. I personally feel like it could be better served by some sort of recharging bar and a big movement speed debuff. The other big hindrance is that the damage is a direct downgrade to the stock. The other Melees all provide some sort of combat advantage to stock. The Übersaw has a slower swing speed but greatly increased critical hit chance, which if you ask literally anyone who has played with or against the Übersaw, is a significant understatement. The vita-saw provides a psychological advantage with slightly less health but the knowledge that if you do die, you won't lose all of your Über. And the Amputator is basically the Overwatch experience, trading swing speed for knowledge of the enemy's health. The amputator provides none of this, which makes it pretty shitty as a self-defense tool. It does less damage than stock with no increased swing speed or bleed effect to balance things out. I won't go into a whole bunch of detail about my fixes but I just find it ridiculous the types of things that they say will lead to power creep. The Ambassador used to be able to headshot people from as far away as you could headshot people without a zoom, and it was just accepted as part of the game for the longest time. And I'm supposed to believe that weapons filling their intended purpose is gonna be too powerful? Okay whatever. I doubt hordes of people will be swapping off of Soldier just to hit me to death with a slightly improved bonesaw on the class that has the least combat capacity but apparently it's definitely going to happen if the amputator isn't a direct downgrade to the stock in terms of self-defense!!! Sorry this got long but basically:

TL/DR:

League of Legends isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be and there's a lot of fun to be had if you know how to curate your experience

Some TF2 players are way too tryhard