#I spent nearly an hour and a half rambling in this post

[znarikia]

So, I saw the feature-length advertisement by Mattel called Barbie. I had fun!

I also spent the movie watching it mobilize a bunch of ideas and critiques, recuperated or otherwise, and force them to fight it out like the Kens towards the end of the movie. I sat there, laughing at the fun stuff, wondering what it was trying to say, so now I'm going to ramble about it.

The simple answer is that its thesis is that it's impossible to be perfect, and that you have to make peace with that and your own mortality. You can't predicate your sense of self on others and expect to be anything more than a hollow shell. In the end, everyone becomes Weird Barbie but they're still Kenough.

Which is great and all, but I couldn't stop thinking about that post about how Mattel got ahead of the feminist critiques of Barbie by recuperating them or deflecting them. There's an underlying current of mockery of the idea that the state of Barbie is unfeminist or that toys can even be the site of ideological reproduction. The Barbies believe that feminism has won in Barbieland, and thus in the real world, and the implication is one of comedy. When Sasha levels feminist critiques at Barbie, it's framed as a joke. We'll get Ordinary Barbie, because she'll sell. But also don't project any heavy emotion onto a Barbie, because that'll dissolve the rules of reality.

It's just so... trying to have your cake and eat it too. I don't even know what to think about the patriarchy Ken arc. Barbieland is in metaphorical and literal dialogue with the real world, so metaphors are heavily mixed. Barbieland is, genuinely, a matriarchy, and the movie doesn't know what to do with that. The Kens wither under the matriarchy like a sanitized version of women withering under the patriarchy, so Stereotypical Ken comes back to Barbieland from the real world with patriarchy as a solution. The Barbies are, inexplicably, brought under his spell and brainwashed into giving up power. So we're presented with a backwards world, wherein the men have a legitimate reason to demand liberation and they resort to a real world ideological poison.

Textually, the movie agrees that the patriarchy is bad. It is treated as a threat to the status quo to be reverted. It's an obviously bad thing, played for laughs, but the Kens are still treated with empathy. It's defeated with the apparatus that allowed it to come into being and nearly allowed it to enshrine itself permanently into the fabric of reality. There's no thought given to how it got a foothold in the first place. Or, come to think of it, it can be read that feminist critiques of Barbie instantiated patriarchy into Barbieland by bringing reality into fantasy.

"Yes," the Barbie movie says, "patriarchal capitalism strangulates women with misogyny. Gloss over this, however, with toys. Don't think too hard about the toys, either! You don't want to bring the patriarchy here, do you?"

More succinctly, the Barbie movie says, "Consume our products. It won't fix anything, but it won't hurt anything, either."

I dunno. I could forgive a two hour long advertisement for a doll line if all it really had to say was that perfection is unattainable and unsustainable, that being you is enough, but it had to act like it had something to say about feminism that wouldn't be immediately kneecapped by what it is.

I just. Keep thinking about how the Barbies immediately submitted to patriarchy the moment it was introduced to Barbieland, as though it is something that will naturally crystallize if a mere seed is planted. Pushback was minimal and the Barbies had to be taught to value their freedom again. They're snapped out of patriarchal subservience by hearing truth spoken to power, which is great. And it's also great that it's a real Latina human woman speaking that, and not the Stereotypical Barbie toy. It's just undercut by the everything else.

It's a toy ad. I get that I'm expecting too much from it, but it's trying to say something! The messages are mixed, but they're there. It's trying to say something about patriarchy and feminism, but because it's trapped in a world that operates counter to reality, ie there's a matriarchy instead of a patriarchy, the thing critiqued is placed in both positions of insurgency and dominance. Men are dismissed and marginalized... but so are the women. It operates in spaces of both metaphor and literalism, but can only speak with one mouth. Subtextually, I think the movie settles on a single, concise point.

It's laughable to grapple with Barbie on ideological terms and expect anything to come of it.

[outroindigo]

[arolesbianism]

Whenever I watch someone play oni I always get so caught off guard when they cut and it's like 100 cycles later but then I remembered that most ppl actually use the fast forward buttons and I'm the weirdo who sits there at normal speed just watching large scale constructions slowly inch forwards while also pausing every other minute to plan out the next 3 projects I wanna work on next

[muffinsin]

Hi, hello muffin! So I was reading your long lost daughter hc’s for Cassandra (love them🙏). Since little child reader is like half human, half infected, do you think they would show more of Cassandra’s inhuman abilities as they grow older/ and or inherit Cassandra’s height?

Also Cassandra is def like one of those super over protective moms, like in the blink of an eye(for her), her little baby was not even a quarter of her height! And now they have the nerve to be nearly as tall, if not taller than her! It makes her a little bit miffled and upset, you were supposed to stay tiny forever! It’s just not fair in her opinion. And she absolutely does not want her baby dating! Doesn’t matter if they’re from the village or an outsider, she just doesn’t want you dating.

I have also come to the conclusion that cassandra is like those dads who say they don’t want a pet but ends up loving the pet. That bunny is probably spoilt rotten.

(Also can I be 🧸 anon if it’s not taken?)

🧸 anon is all yours, hon! :)

OG Post can be found here: https://www.tumblr.com/muffinsin/757434230111354880/ooh-muffin-muffin-i-just-got-this-idea-from

Let’s get into it! Sum thoughts below :)

I think they’d for sure grow to inherit some of Cassandra’s traits and abilities, which would really only be sharpened by their mama and aunts. I see especially Daniela playfully teaching them a lot of things and even helping them become faster in time, while Cassandra is sure to train her little one (all in due time, of course) to become a strong and cunning warrior, if only to rest easy knowing her child can protect itself.

Biologically speaking, I absolutely see them inheriting her strenght very early on and eagerly showing it off at every opportunity.

Oh, absolutely, hon! Cassandra is incredibly possessive of her little one (even when said little one is not so little anymore) and will not let anybody but her family come near, and perhaps a few friends after Bela spent hours rambling to her how important it is for one’s mental health to have friends. (Though she does not understand why the corpses in the cellar or animals don’t make for good friends..!)

Any lover is a complete no-go for her, really. She’ll scare all potential suitors off, insisting you will always be her little one and no one could possibly be worthy of you.

100%! For every annoyed growl she lets out when yet another pet is brought home, she forces a maid to make a little bed for it. She has to admit, they’re pretty cute, when she takes the time to get to play with the animal, rather than eat it.

[itsaash]

O'Knutzy Week! Prompt: cooking mishap

I'll be posting parts of the same story each day this week! It's a cubs au where Finn's spending the summer at his parent's house in the Hamptons and Leo is their private chef. Established LeLo. Characters by @lumosinlove and parts of this were written by the incomparable @allhalloweve (specifically most the flashback cooking scene is by them, and the last few lines, and some more scattered in there too 💗)

Part 1 here

for @oknutzyweek2023

Part 2

Leo travelled home that Monday morning with his heart fluttering. He felt pulled to get home to Logan, their summer days in the city together were as sweet as the tea that accompanied them throughout the hot sticky days in Brooklyn. 

But his mind also drifted over the past few weekends with Finn. Finn usually worked on his laptop, but sometimes had pages printed out, marked up with an indecipherable code of color pens. Leo had laughed with his full chest when he sat down and pulled the same pens out of his own bag to write his grocery lists and meal plans for the next weekend. They had shared the space and shared their pens, and even if Leo was no closer to understanding when Finn used the violet or the sage green, he could admit they were sharing something special. Friendship, of course. 

Leo was so happy with Logan, they had been joined at the hip and the heart since Logan had attempted an evening cooking class that Leo had been teaching. 

Logan was, quite possibly, the worst cook Leo had ever seen. He was hesitant to trust the man with anything sharper than a cutting board. Not for lack of competence–no, Logan was brilliantly smart with wit to match–but rather a complete inability to cook more than an egg. Even that was risky on occasion.

But bless his heart, Logan had the most refined palette Leo ever had the pleasure of finding. Despite not being able to find his way around a recipe with a flashlight and a map, Logan could taste a dish and know in a moment what it needed—not just salt or pepper, either. It needs spice, he had said the very first time Leo let him breathe near the industrial ovens, rummaging in the spice racks. It needs…this. This smells right.

The ensuing mac and cheese had tasted just as good as any Leo had eaten in a restaurant, yet came from the hands of a man who had nearly dropped a mallet on his foot mere minutes before. Leo’s plan had been a tenderised cut of beef, to be seared and then baked, teaching skills in basting, marinades, testing temperatures, and plating. This plan had been officially abandoned after the incident with the mallet. And the pan that may never recover. And better not to mention the smell.

When Leo switched his intention from ‘cooking lesson’ to ‘let’s just feed this adorable, wrecking ball of a man’, this glorious mac and cheese had unfolded. They had shared the dish over stainless steel counters while purposefully ignoring the mess that Leo was unreasonably glad wasn’t in his own home, in favour of enjoying their food and each other. They had been the only people left in the building, and Leo was gone on him. Logan spent half an hour rambling about the spice and silk trade of the 14th century—Leo spent half an hour admiring his bright eyes and soft mouth. Three years later, he had come to love those eyes more than anything.

Leo stepped off the train while the sweet memories swirled around his mind, and began the short walk home to their apartment, ready to try a new recipe that had also been percolating. He sent Logan a text letting him know he was home, and Logan responded. 

Leo ☀️ I’m off the train now, loveLo. Home soon. Going to make a recipe i saw, like a apricot tart

Logan💚Ok i’ll be home soon, love. Just at the library.  Can’t wait to get my mouth on you  it

Leo ☀️ mmm but which first?

Logan💚 You, obviously. xxx

Leo smiled to himself and set to unpacking and prepping the veggies for dinner and dessert. He fully planned on allowing himself to be interrupted when Logan got home. 

Steam sizzled on the stove and Leo turned the burner off, the kitchenaid joining music as the background noise wafting through their apartment. A warm chest pressed up against his back, bare rather than hidden beneath a carefully-ironed button down. 

“Hi Tremzy,” Leo sighed, letting his head drop back into Logan’s shoulder. “Why don’t you have a shirt on?”

Logan turned his head to nuzzle Leo’s hair with his nose and wrapped his arms firmly around Leo’s waist. 

“Is hot,” Logan murmured. 

Leo turned to press a kiss to his forehead, brushing messy curls out of the way.

“Won’t catch me complaining. How was your weekend?”

“Fine, good. Met up with Noelle, did workouts in mornings, read that new biography book. Missed you,” his nose wrinkled. “Missed you way too much. Fuckin’ richies.”

“Your family has a summer house in addition to their regular house,” Leo pointed out with a snort. “And those richies pay our bills right now.”

“They steal my boyfriend.”

“They are perfectly nice. Haley and Ramsey treat me like family and, well I don’t know their oldest that well, but Finn’s sweet. You’d like him.”

Logan levelled a sceptical look on him while one hand slipped away to snag a bite of apricot. That seemed unlikely. “I would?”

“He’s funny. He’s smart, like you. An editor for novels ‘n shit. Total bookworm. You’d amuse each other, I think.” And it would keep you both out of my way so I can cook in peace. What Leo wouldn’t give to see them set each other off about a pedantic historical detail. If anyone in the world could make Finn’s ears go red in a little fit of crankiness, it would be Logan. Bullheaded, the both of them.

Logan seemed suspicious. “Isn’t this the same Finn who freaked out about seaweed?”

“Well, yes,  and, um, so he invited us to stay next week. You can grill him for more details about phobias then.” Leo kissed his cheek again, then turned fully in his arms for a proper one on his lips. 

The kiss appeased Logan’s huffiness enough to earn Leo a second one; he sank into it, settling one hand in the dip of Logan’s waist where his skin was warm and soft. 

“Je t’aime,” Logan said into his mouth. His thumb ran in circles over Leo’s jaw and sent goosebumps over his body.

“Love you more,” he whispered back, and started walking Logan backwards towards their bed.

Some time later, after their traditional Monday reconnection, they lay in bed together. Logan had his head resting in Leo’s bare chest, and Leo was running his fingers through Logan’s hair rhythmically. 

“Would you want to go?” Leo asked. 

“Quoi?” Logan said. 

“Finn really did invite us both up for the week. Might be nice to get away for a week?” 

“I guess, but isn’t it a bit weird?”

“Yeah, I can see why’d you say that,” Leo sighed. “But Finn really is sweet. Haley and Ramsey - they would be around for the weekend, and I would be working then. But then we could have 4 days of relaxing… sitting by the pool, I’d take you to the farmer’s market, maybe down to the water… all the stuff I don’t have time for on the weekends.”  

Logan rested his chin on Leo’s sternum and hummed. 

“Sounds like you really want to go, hmm peanut?”

“Yeah, I guess I do. But only if you’re there,” Leo said, shrugging. 

“D’accord, of course. Getting out of the city for a week sounds amazing. I do have that planning meeting with my principal and the other social science teachers this weekend though.”

“Oh shit, right, I forgot about that.” Logan turned to kiss Leo’s shoulder, ran his tongue along his collarbone. “I’m pretty sure only a Saturday worked for some of them. But, one more weekend apart, and then I can be your sous chef for two whole weekends,” Logan kissed the dip between his collarbones, “help you, spend time with you,” he murmured and his kisses travelled up Leo’s neck.

Leo laughed, and pulled Logan up to kiss him, revelling in the softness of his lips. 

“I can’t wait, love.” Kiss. “But, sweetheart?” 

“Hmm?”

Kiss. 

“Absolutely no knives.”

[rhela-xiv]

Taking a break from my regularly scheduled posting to do this. Advanced warning: rambling incoming. There's been a lot of conversation, and discourse, about whether or not the content in Dawntrail is "too difficult" for casual players. And after the experience I had today, I can't help but wonder if some of that feeling isn't the result of the attitudes of many long-time XIV players. Sure, there's a certain amount of "get good" that goes along with having a character at level 100, but some things just come down to whether or not you've seen a fight before. And are we really giving people the kindness and patience to learn and improve? I spent more than an hour in a level 100 dungeon today. We wiped more than 10 times across all three bosses. This isn't about my frustration with "oh I'll run a quick roulette before lunch" turning into a 75 minute excursion. This is about how the other people in my party reacted, and why I think the XIV community can do better. More under the cut.

I queue into Alexandria as a tank. I see a DPS and a Healer "Viewing Cutscene". "first time, forgive me" pops up, from the healer. "nw~ need me to pull a lil slower?" I don't mind doing that, especially in higher level dungeons where you can easily wipe to trash if someone misses a critical heal, or doesn't see the AoE indicator under the wall-to-wall pack of enemies. We get to the first boss. Which is not an easy boss the first time, or even the fifth time. There's a lot going off on top of each other, the safe spots are small and not always easy to see in the window of time you have to find them, and it's not very forgiving if you miss a mechanic. The healer dies, and despite the best efforts of our summoner to get everyone up again, we wipe. And wipe again. I double check to make sure everyone understands the mechanics, and it's just a timing thing. All good, we keep going. (I'll acknowledge my own failings here, I ate a lot of vuln stacks. Someone stuck a Dorito on me and it was just too much pressure.) And keep wiping. But we're getting further in the fight each time, and cleaner. At some point, the following comes in from the healer: "I'm sorry, I just might not be good enough" And it absolutely gutted me. Because I've been there. As a healer, as a DPS, and even as a tank. When it feels like you're trying your hardest, and you swear you can feel the other pixels on your screen getting more pissed at you by the second. The first time I ran Aurum Vale, I got so frustrated I cried and nearly quit the game. I had a similar experience with Heroes Gauntlet. The people in my parties were flat out -mean- about every missed mechanic, and every death. I still, to this day, with several Extreme clears and at least one Savage clear under my belt, get anxious when Aurum Vale pops up in Leveling. It would have been really easy to let the healer drop out, or kick them, or vote abandon. But what would that really have accomplished other than making someone feel like they're not good enough to enjoy the game that we're all here because we love?

All of this to say: For you, it might be a daily roulette between meetings or on your lunch break or after a long day at work. For someone in your party, that might be their MSQ experience. They might be learning. They might be coming back from a two year break between expansions. It costs absolutely nothing but time and a little bit of patience to be kind. And if we don't give people time and opportunity to learn, the whole community suffers for it. Dying is not the end of the world. Messing up a mechanic is not the end of the world. I've seen a lot of comments about "getting comfortable with messing up" floating around, but that only works if the other people in the party are also comfortable with messing up. With wiping and restarting three, four, TEN TIMES, and continuing on.

It was a level 100 dungeon this time, but I've been in ARR trials where someone queues in to a party that's half sprouts going through the fight for the first time, and gets pissed when there's a wipe. I had someone abandon me with two brand new players fighting Titan for the first time because we wiped twice. And we have to stop doing that to people. I can say for damned sure that the healer I played with today has a much clearer understanding of the mechanics in Alexandria bosses now. Because the party was patient, and gracious about mistakes, and wasn't afraid to own their own mistakes. And the next time they queue in for expert, they'll do better. And if everyone extends the same courtesy I experienced today, the whole community gets better together. Last thing. Rorrie the Summoner from Diabolos, if by some chance this finds you: you have the patience of a saint and you were absolutely the MVP of that run. I hope the people you play with regularly appreciate the hell out of you, because I sure did.

[skyburger]

lately ive been going through my google history when im bored (which is so incredibly entertaining btw. highly recommend) and apparently, after double-checking my camera roll that date & finding proof to support this theory, i did indeed first watch hlvrai on november 4th of 2020. absolutely insane. i thought i hadnt seen it until mid-2021 at LEAST.

shoutsout to my friends who i watched it with at the time half of which i dont talk to anymore... i owe u for getting me into funny half-life series. thank you oomf

WARNING !!! below the read more is a long fucking list of funny* things i found in my camera roll from the week i first watched hlvrai. like not the images themselves just me talking about them. i dont know why i thought that was a good idea but alas i already spent 90+ minutes writing that all out and tbf i did have a good laugh looking at that shit. anyway the warning is because its long as fuck and i'm willing to bet not at all interesting to anyone who isn't me. i think if i talk any more i will ramble for fucking ever so ill shut up. WARNING OVER !!! miami make some fucking NOISE. dj tsumugi.

*please note these were funny to both me in late 2020 (age 15) and me now (older but not at all wiser). what im trying to say is read at your own risk because 90% of this is unfunny as fuck but it could be worse. it could be shit from when i was 12. That would be really bad i think

anyway here are some highlights from my camera roll from like the day before, the day of & the day after "the incident" (me watching hlvrai):

a ridiculous amount of terezi pyrope pictures. i had not (and still have not) ever read homestuck

at least 30 pictures of hugh o'conner. probably more if im being honest with myself

the same few pictures of kokichi ouma? for some reason?

like a lot of pictures of nagito komaeda. there is at least one screenshot where my discord pfp is nagito. Something Happened

vriska and nepeta also make an appearance. the former more so but not nearly as much as terezi for some reason

a lot of screenshots of discord convos involving various hughdebeste aus. some favorites are the homestuck au, the peabody & sherman au(???), the meet the robinsons au(??????), splatoon au

blu and red scout tf2 they have taco bell and kfc shirts respectively?

professor sycamore from pokemon and professor sycamore from layton. there are multiple images of each and theyre right next to each other

screenshots of the homestuck wiki. Concerning

a screenshot of an email i got from nintendo about the special edition fortnite switch releasing

like a lot of screenshots of alfendi layton from when i was playing lbmr. not surprising but theres kind of a ridiculous amount

a picture of alvin (the chipmunk) that just says "WE DID IT"

screenshots of me talking in ridiculous 13375P34K on twitter and being accused of kinning from homestuck. quite frankly? i deserved that

hatsune miku makes a few appearances

many tumblr post screenshots. However i did not take these myself i just saved them from reddit. really ashamed to admit i did this for literal years even when i used tumblr at the same time

picture of professor layton standing in that one pose in that one picture i dont know how to describe it. the "you know i had to do it to em" one

that one bugs bunny suit meme and it says "i wish all boobed men a very pleasant evening". this was apparently important enough for me to save twice like an hour and a half apart

many screenshots of me on discord AND twitter posting quotes from hlvrai as i watched it. this includes on my masked disciple roleplay account

a picture of my danganronpa trilogy for ps4 copy. but its one of those live pictures so when i click on it i get attacked (i had the flash on because i took this picture in the dark)

that one really terrible picture of tommy coolatta thats like the first non-fanart picture of him on google images. thrilled to announce i think thats been the only image on his wiki page for years now

picture of hime & mikoto meika's mmd models. i think they had recently released or been announced at this point

catboy apollo justice & wolf boy klavier gavin gacha life gifs. i think my friend made this (if it was in fact my friend and not someone random this was the same friend who streamed hlvrai and thus changed my life forever btw)

that old meme about not passing [xyz] the aux because theyll play [abc]. it says "Do NOT pass the kinnie the aux / They'll just playin 'Alvvays - Archie, Marry Me (Official Video)'"

screenshots of calendar events i set up celebrating the anniversary of two dgs characters' deaths (genklimt fans rise up!)

screenshot of my real kinlist on my real carrd from 2020. i can tell it was just edited because this screenshot has scribbles on it (i circled the latest addition to my kinlist which is in fact "dr. coomer")

screenshots of me and my oomfs on this one specific anime rp roblox game that i WISH i could remember the name of. it let you import pngs of any character you wanted so we had pictures of ace attorney guys hanging out with madoka girls at some point. this specific instance includes klavier gavin, baby trucy wright, rosie from animal crossing & a blue orb thing(??). we are all incredibly small for some reason

john cena suit gangnam style depression. this is saved multiple times. does anyone else remember this post i used to be obsessed with it for some reason

picture of a historical moment in my life (the day i changed my ps4 username to "TheKokichiOuma" which i have regretted for years now. in my defense it did actually use to be worse than that im so serious. 2018 was a dark time why did i pick the name "DabWeebPolics". Horrific!

screenshot of a string of tweets between me and a friend at the time. the tweets arent actually important except for the first one which reads "these gummy bears taste british i cant explain it". this is only important because i remember these fucking gummy bears and they DID taste british in like the same way heathrow airport feels british you know

this one picture of my chemical romance in a forest(?) but bob looks like my fucking dad at a quick glance and it scares me every time i see it. i saved this multiple times over the course of that day

various pictures my friend made of jove justice being set on fire

the really short businessman with the fuckass bob from the lorax but my oomf edited him to look like kazuma asougi

picture of byakuya togami which is only funny because it has text on top of him that says "I. DO. NOT. GEC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

a single screenshot of a tumblr post about the events of That Day (destiel putin election day.) the only other thing referencing this in my gallery is a screenshot of the trending tab on twitter (the trends are, in order. 1. #TrumpMeltdown 2. destiel 3. #ElectionResults2020)

two paper mario character pngs followed by that one misha collins picture. you know the one

various screenshots of a mishapocalypse happening on twitter

more super paper mario pngs

im going through pictures slightly further out from nov 4th now (i think after i look at nov 2nd & nov 6th ill call it quits). first image i see is that "gay people i respect vs. gay people i dont respect" image and i dont know why i saved that nevermind i scrolled and immediately found i made a dgs meme out of that

phoenix wright BASED ON GAY MANGA?

went through the ace attorney mamboleo person's deviantart that day i think so i have various funny works of theirs saved. i think the average person actually would know them as the stamp on the ground animation person so. Thats them too. on a side note watching that video after you got into metal gear is fucking insane

that mom against cat boys tshirt

a lot of unnoteworthy professor layton & ace attorney & dgs images

ben shapiro on the ace attorney witness stand?

oh im finding out i got really fucking mad at william petenshy that day. iirc i got so fucking annoyed at this case i didnt even finish it i just. skipped it. i wasnt even playing it i was just watching it???

one of those "tag yourself / which mutual am i" posts but all the options are characters from my kinlist. one of the titles is a jfk clone high reference

screenshots of dms to klimt van zieks begging him to drop a kinlist

a screenshot of a friends reply to my tweet (hi doop) which did just remind me of my "damon gant is apollo justice's grandpa" theory. this tweet manages to tie yanni yogi into the family tree

screenshot of a discord music bot playing a youtube video (remember when they could do that?). the video is titled "henry ledore does his taxes for 10 minutes asmr"

apparently i looked at characters i share a mbti with that day. highlights include souseki (the dgs guy. no idea about the real one), ron delite, flora reinhold, pyro tf2, agent 8 (splatoon), n harmonia & my goat DERPY HOOVES

screenshot of part of twitter's trending page. it says that trending in the united kingdom, with at least 3,610 tweets, is "Homosexuals"

screenshots of multiple tweets in a row from me. they all involve me frantically talking about how i really want to kin nagito komaeda even though i know fuck-all about him

various pictures of markiplier (both in real life & in fma)

real screenshot of me unironically saying "mental illness innit" in reference to myself. this was in my twitter dms with my friends klimt van zieks roleplay account which is even worse

original gina lestrade & egg benedict image made by me. if you know the apollo gant image its basically that

okay i lied i went back to nov 1st and i think i'll check nov 7th afterwards. one full week of nonsense. this proved to be a good idea because i immediately found a screenshot of a text to my mom asking her if she kinned gnomeo from gnomeo and juliet. she said yes

possible origin of why i own a boss baby poster: oomf kin-assigned me the boss baby

possibly my favorite example of the twitter feature where it shows you the original tweet and then the last two replies on a long thread of replies to that post. the original tweet is me saying in all caps "i care him so much he is so small" about luke triton (what a 2020 sentence!). the last two replies are from me and then my oomf but i think only the first of the two needs recounting. it says "do you really want to explain vore to your teachers". i know i say i want context a lot but i genuinely do really want context for this what the fuck happened here

oh good! boss baby update: theres a screenshot of my ebay purchase of "BOSS BABY Poster A5"

im on pictures from november 7th now. i think i went through a figures bot that day because i have a frankly ridiculous amount of figures (mostly nendoroids. mostly miku nendoroids.) there's also the default hime & mikoto png in the middle of these

twitter notification screenshot. apparently kristoph gavin ace attorney followed me that day

i think i went and looked through a christian memes subreddit or twitter account or SOMETHING i dont know where else these all came from. this is followed by a staggering amount of facebook minion memes

side note: does anyone else remember the aatwt (ace attorney twitter) & puyo puyo twitter crossover event in the michael's customer service chat incident? that feels like a different universe

this one is really nothing compared to any of this other stuff but i do have proof of me saying "pog" unironically

grand finale to this saga is actually from a couple days after (nov 9th 2020) but after seeing the staggering amount of death the kid images i had saved over like two days (i had watched a couple episodes of soul eater with my pals) i felt compelled to dig up my "death the kid get wifi anywhere you go" fancam. i might post it later cause its a classic (only to me)

thank you all so much for watching remember to like and subscribe and whatever. thank you for reading this if you read it for some fucking reason. i spent just over an hour and a half looking through this shit & typing this but it was a nice walk thru memory lane tbh! im gonna shut up now before i start rambling. feel free 2 ask for the images or context to any of these i literally love rambling. peace and love on planet earth. LOVE YOU ALL!!! GOODNIGHT NEW YORK CITY

[sortagaysortahigh]

Sex Education P.3 | Steve Harrington

a/n: yall posting this shit was the most annoying experience ever and tumblr and I have genuine beef, but its okay because hopefully she’ll post <3. Also I decided that this series is going to be 5 parts, and this is the longest part thus far because it’s the “turning point” in the series :)

Summary: No one ever assumes they’d develop feelings for their childhood best friend who also happened to be their friend with benefits, nor do they expect to end up jealous over mindless flirting.

Warnings: SMUT, cussing, spelling and grammar errors, talks about kinks, mentions of: bondage, handcuffs, voyeurism, mutual masturbation, and gagging, actual P in V unprotected smut, creampie, rough sex, spanking, fingering, oral (f receiving, m giving), spitting, hair pulling, back shots, missionary, jealous sex, degradation, praise kinks, choking, overstimulation, Dom!Steve, Sub!(ish)Reader

Word Count: 12k

Series Masterlist

Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

(I just really like this gif honestly, like it gives bestfriend steve vibes)

Friday came faster than expected, and of course, something had to go wrong the day of Y/n’s big exam. She’d made it to the college early-leaving thirty minutes prior to when she usually left. The forty-five minute drive filled with her loud sing-a-long to Blondie’s The Hunter album as she sped down the highway. Then she got to school, parking outside of her academic building then rushing inside-hoping to get some kind of last minute cramming in as she found herself running up two flights of steps-anxiety fueling her swift steps.

By the time she’d sat in her usual classroom she was slightly out of breath, opting to sit in the front row to the left side of the room. Immediately going through her bag-then realizing that the flashcards Steve helped her make-flashcards which included important vocabulary, structures, authors, and anything else she found essential from the past half-semester-were still sitting at home on her nightstand-right next to a sleeping Steve Harrington. 

The same Steve Harrington that had spent the past two days at her house, granted the two went to work together yesterday-then he found himself back at her house, helping her study until he decided that she deserved some ‘stress relief’ which in turn led to his head between her thighs for nearly two hours. Her thighs and calves were still store from the feeling of both curling her toes constantly and Steve holding her in place while she begged and whined for more.

She was currently in a state of panic, looking down at his watch that he insisted she take for good luck today-seeing that she had twenty minutes before the class started-then she rushed out, finding the nearest phone and dialing her home number-praying Steve would answer. 

“Hello?” She tried to ignore the deep rasp in his voice-he was clearly still sleeping-but it still sent a small shiver down her spine. It’s been happening a lot lately, he’d say things or give her certain looks and they’d somehow make her heart race. But now wasn’t a time to focus on whatever that meant.

“Steve! I left the stupid flashcards there and I’m taking this test in-” she glanced down at the watch “-in seventeen minutes and I’m literally about to vomit because I was gonna try and cram before but now I don’t even know what I’m gonna do or if I’m gonna pass-this class literally determines if I have to extend or not because the class I’m taking next semester is only offered in the spring and this midterm is worth more of my grade than the final which is total bullshit but holy shit-”

As she rambled Steve sat up in her bed-phone in his right hand held up to his face while he ran a hand through his hair-the comforter now sinking past his bare chest to his waist.

“Y/n! Y/n!” the silence on the other end of the line caused him to let out a sigh of relief “you’re gonna do great okay? You know everything from this class-you need to stop doubting yourself. Cramming was never going to help you because it doesn’t ever work for you-it hasn’t worked since like freshman year of high school. You need to take a deep breath-” he paused for a second-his gaze now focused on her messy desk-alongside the few photos pinned to her corkboard above it-a small smile on his face when he spotted a photo strip of the two of them from the fair in tenth grade.

She took a deep breath, leaning against the wall next to the phone-a hand on her forehead-thumb and index finger massaging her temples while she stared at the ceiling. 

“This is a big deal Steve-I can’t just relax-I’m like a ball of anxiety and nerves and-” he cut her off mid-sentence “-and nothing. It’s okay to be nervous about your exam but you can’t dwell on something like flashcards-you’ve been studying for this for like two weeks-you color coded all of your textbooks and notes Y/n-you know everything already-you’re overthinking it”

She groaned, and on the other end of the phone Steve smiled, shaking his head while rolling his eyes-she’d always done this. Everytime a big test was coming up she’d panic about it and rush to sit and study until there was nothing left-then she’d panic more until the day of the test when she usually aced it-occasionally getting a B-but even then she’d never failed. 

That was something he admired about Y/n, she’d go through hell and back if it meant being successful-and her version of success was always her own. She never compared her successes to other people’s because as she always said ‘Steve success isn’t measured by other assholes-it’s measured by you. How the hell are you supposed to be your dad’s version of successful when you don’t even like your dad-you’ll never live up to whatever he wants you to be because that’s not what you wanna be’. 

He found himself biting his bottom lip and smiling while she spoke to him.

“Okay-sure you’re right I might be overthinking it-but this shit is genuinely so stressful and what if my professor thinks my answers sound stupid? Then what? I can’t sit here and look stupid-God I’m gonna barf” he laughed at her, all the while she groaned again, staring down at his watch, seventeen minutes turned into ten and now she was biting her thumb nail-the leather band slightly slipping along her wrist.

“You won’t sound stupid, now go drink some water and kick your tests ass.” she sighed “if you say so Harrington” he nodded his head-the same dopey smile on his face “what time are you coming home?” 

His words made her smile, both eyebrows raised and she was positive if she’d been anywhere but here-or even if she was sitting down-she’d be kicking her feet back and forth. She felt like a thirteen year old getting called pretty by a boy for the first time.

“Home? So now you live with me?” he scoffed, of course she couldn’t see the blush on his face-thankfully “I mean this is your house isn’t it-and considering your parents don’t get back til Monday-I’ll stick around. Besides it’s better than Casa Harrington-home of the assholes”

She smiled, nodding her head while twirling the metallic curly phone cable in her hand “Guess you aren't asshole after all. Anyways, my class ends in two hours-then I’m meeting with my advisor so like another half hour-plus the drive back home-basically three or four hours” 

“You’re gonna crush your test, now hang up the phone Y/l/n” she scoffed, holding in a giggle-who the hell was she becoming. “Uh huh Harrington, I’ll see you when I get back” she bit her bottom lip “Drive safe baby, bye” with that the two hung up the phone. She couldn’t stop the heat enveloping her features at the pet name-of course she was used to it when they had sex-but outside of that-he’d never really casually called her that. But it made her heart race and she couldn’t stop her smile as she walked back to her classroom.

Steve however hung up the phone then groaned-two hands covering his face at the realization that he’d let the ‘baby’ slip out. Of course he started to overthink it the second he said it-mostly because she had no reaction to it-and of course it wasn’t like he could see her through the phone. Hopefully in the future they’d invent video calls or something for people.

He laid back on her bed, staring up at the ceiling decorated in small stars-the same stars he’d called childish the first time he’d gone over to her house when they were twelve. His parents had been late picking him up from swim practice-of course he said he’d just take the bus home or figure something out-but her mother insisted he came over and she’d call his parents for him.

By the time he got to their house he’d realized two things-Y/n’s mom was a lot cooler than he’d thought-granted she always showed up on time for practices, never missed a meet, and of course encouraged her daughter to speak her mind-which in turn led to a few altercations with other teams during the season. However she was genuinely nice to him and even as she drove-she still listened to him as he spoke-occasionally making eye contact through the rear view mirror and nodding her head.

The second thing he realized was that Y/n was really pretty-he’d never really gotten to see her sit in silence and just listen before that point-and as the golden hues from the sun outside hit her skin while she sat in the back seat with Steve-he found himself staring at her-the two holding eye contact while he spoke. He just assumed she’d always been confident in herself and a good listener based on the way she looked so relaxed and invested in his story-but even as a twelve year old she made him blush.

When they got to the house her mother called his mother’s office-leaving a message with their home address alongside the fact that Steve was there hanging out with Y/n and staying for dinner. She was quick to drag Steve down the hall to her room, forcing him to sit on her bed while she blow dried his hair-which she’d been wanting to do for some time-he even argued with her before she started. However, at the mention of Y/n’s mother making him dinner-he agreed.

Even at twelve he had great hair, his father always forcing the need to look presentable down his throat. She stood on her knees behind him-the bright pink blow drier in her right hand while she ran her left hand through his hair as she dried it-giggling at the way he protested. Then as she finished and turned off the blow dryer he laid back-purposefully pushing her backwards-nearly knocking her off the bed-which only made the both of them burst into laughter.

“Are you afraid of the dark? What's up with the baby stickers” she scoffed, sitting up and shoving him over while rolling her eyes “oh shut it poodle” with that she stood up, grabbing a compact off of her dresser-throwing it at him with a smirk on her face-which in turn led to his jaw dropping as he stared at his reflection-his hair overly voluminous and framing his head like a bad bowl cut.

The memory made Steve smile, eyes tracing each star formation-after she’d shoved him she eventually told him that she’d placed them in the shape of constellations-showing all of them to him before her mother called the two for dinner. That was the day he realized that he wanted to be her friend for a long time. She was caring, smart, she was honest-overly honest sometimes, she definitely had a nerdy side to her, her family genuinely cared for him, and she was the only person he knew he could be himself around.

After that day he started coming around more and more, her mother offering him rides home sometimes-the first time he slept over was during their eighth grade school year. The two had to do their science fair project together and once it hit nine o’clock her mother insisted he just spent the night-so he did. The both of them eventually fell asleep on the living room sofa after watching Star Trek-which Y/n had to explain to him.

He had no idea why he was reminiscing about their friendship-he also had no idea why calling her baby just felt right-granted when they had sex he knew she liked the pet names-a smile on her face while she bit her lip-the thought made his cock stir which only led to him groaning again. He’s her best friend, granted their relationship was starting to shift-he knew it was there and maybe she just didn’t notice it-or maybe she didn’t care-but there was something different now.

At first he summed it up to ‘well she’s seen my dick and I’ve fucked her so that must be it’ but the more he thought about it-the more he realized this wasn’t just about sex-actually it wasn’t about sex at all. She made his heart race in ways it hadn’t before-well ways it hadn’t in a long time.

He admittedly had a crush on her when they were in middle school, of course by freshman year he claimed it was gone-and then as he rose up the ranks in popularity because of sports-he dragged her along with him. Then by their junior year he was King Steve-he could get with any girl he wanted-so the crush on Y/n was long forgotten. She still argued with him in the hallways, constantly cursing him out and telling him to ‘humble yourself Harrington! High Schools not the real world jackass!.

She always stuck around though, she was there during his first genuine heartbreak-when Nancy Wheeler cheated on him after telling him she didn’t love him. He was at the Y/l/n household crying-which he would never tell anyone else about-and Y/n was holding him-rubbing circles into his back while making small sarcastic jokes and remarks to cheer him up. 

Ironically that’s around the time that a very broken and bloody Steve later showed up at her doorstep surrounded by Mike Wheeler, Dustin Henderson, Max Mayfield, and Lucas Sinclair-kids she thought he was babysitting-and as she was patching Steve up they all explained everything.

Of course the girl didn’t believe them-even when Steve told her that it was all true she simply scoffed and mumbled something along the lines of ‘Hargrove really beat the shit out of you huh?’ However, when they all took her to meet El a few days later-the girl with supposed ‘super powers’ and after seeing Nancy’s tape-she quickly learned that they were all telling the truth. The entire drive back to her house she kept rambling to Steve and asking him questions even he couldn’t answer.

She always did that, the girl had little to no filter-so anything that came to mind would be said. If it was a question, a comment, a concern, a rude statement, or an obnoxious opinion-she’d let it be heard. A lot of people hated that about her-it was the reason she’d gotten into so many arguments with Carol Perkins, always telling the girl that she was ‘an airhead with Daddy’s money’ alongside comments like ‘don’t be upset because you didn’t make the cheer squad Carol, I’m sure you can shake your ass for some dumb jock and he’ll pay attention to you’. 

Yeah, she was brutal. But he loved that about her. 

Then it all dawned upon him-he had a thing for his best friend-of course it broke the final rule of their ‘contract’ but he didn’t want to acknowledge it. As he stared at her ceiling he decided he’d just ignore it, hoping that things would be fine between the two-and that she wouldn’t catch on.

He spent the next few hours getting ready to face her-hell he’d even cleaned her room and did her laundry-blushing as he fumbled her panties into the washer and dryer, then he all but moaned at the sight of her vibrator in the back of her panty drawer-a rosy blush overtaking his features while he stared at the baby blue bullet-then at the sound of a car pulling up and parking he slammed the drawer shut-fumbling to fold the rest of her clothes.

She whistled as she walked into the house, a triumphant smile on her face because not only did she complete her exam early-her professor spoke to her after she’d turned it in-stating that she had the highest grade in the class. Then she met with her advisor who said she was on track to graduate a semester early-and traffic on the way home wasn’t bad whatsoever.

He walked out of her room, standing in the hallway with a clean shirt thrown over his shoulder while he held her basket-once she glanced at him she couldn’t stop the laugh.

“You look so domestic Stevie-it’s adorable. You’re just missing your six kids” he scoffed at that, rolling his eyes while walking back into her room once he realized she was heading in that direction.

“For your information-I got bored” she nodded her head as she placed her backpack onto her desk chair-glancing around at the now neatly organized room-her bed was even made-Blueberry sat in the very front. “So you cleaned my room? And did my laundry? Are you pursuing a career in housekeeping?” He rolled his eyes at her, watching as she pulled out the notebook their ‘contract’ was written in-followed by her pink pen.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something serious though” he nodded his head slowly, taking her folded shirt off his shoulder-tossing it in the basket before placing it on the floor then sitting down. His eyes never left her as she kicked her shoes off then sat on the bed criss-crossed across from him. She then turned the pages to the back of their contract page, placing the notebook on one of her knees as she uncapped the pen-his gaze shifting to her bare legs-spotting the bite mark on her right inner thigh from last night-he tried to hold in a groan at the way her skirt rode up.

“You look nervous-loosen up Harrington it’s not like I’m breaking up with you” he scoffed, craning his neck back slightly “as if you’d ever want to break up with me” she glanced up at him, brows raised “aren’t you just a catch” then the two started laughing at one another, Y/n reaching over and shoving him lightly before focusing on the notebook.

He watched as she wrote out ‘Kinks’ then two categories titled ‘Y/n’ and ‘Steve’, he blinked a few times, clearing his throat while licking his lips, catching her attention again.

“Steve-if we’re actually gonna do the whole ‘trying new things out’ part of this then we have to talk about everything prior to y’know having sex” he nodded his head, scratching the back of his neck-visibly tensing up at her words. “Can you stop overthinking for five seconds Harrington! You look so stiff, relax” 

“That’s easy for you to say-you’re you!” she scoffed “and what’s that supposed to mean Steve?” he shrugged “this doesn’t bother you-like you don’t have any reactions to us having sex-or like changes or anything” she placed the notebook to the side, getting on her knees and practically waddling towards steve before grabbing his face in both of her hands-his lips parted while he stared at her in awe.

“Just because I don’t act like weird or whatever because we have sex doesn’t mean I don’t have any reactions or whatever to it Steve-I clearly understand that our friendship is gonna slightly change because of the sex-you’re still my best friend jackass” she spoke slightly slower than usual, eyes widening just the smallest bit to emphasize her point while she held eye contact with him. “Now stop being a weirdo so we can talk about our kinks mister I wanna do anal” 

He blinked a few times, shoving her back slightly-causing her to let out a small ‘yelp’ as she fell backwards-her body hitting the mattress and a series of loud laughs and giggles left her lips as her head slightly hung off the bed. She was thankful that she had a Queen sized bed-otherwise even at the diagonal angle she was in-she’d probably fallen off the bed.

He was blushing, his entire neck was on fire-and he was blushing the same way that Dustin used to blush when Y/n would talk to him-the boys crush on Y/n was almost adorable, but eventually he told Steve that he’d gotten over ‘his girl’-which of course had Steve questioning everything the younger boy was saying in the moment-however now when he thought about it he knew that Y/n was inevitably going to look like his girl to everyone who didn’t understand their friendship.

But he liked that, he wanted her to be his girl-but that wasn’t happening any time soon, so instead of sitting like a statue he moved-placing his hands on her knees which were nearly eye level with him-then he parted her legs-looking at her while she awkwardly strained her neck to look at him-a goofy smile still on her face.

“You’re a weirdo Harrington-now help me up” he nodded his head, grabbing her outstretched hands then pulling her upwards. After she got situated-scooching closer to Steve this time-she grabbed the notebook and her pen. 

“So what exactly are your kinks?” she scoffed, glancing at him “uh uh-you can go first” he rolled his eyes, pursing his lips slightly “after I did all of this cleaning for you? I still have to spill my deepest secrets first?” she smacked his arm lightly “I already know your deepest darkest secrets-now tell me your kinks! Other than butt stuff-I already know that one” he rolled his eyes, stifling a laugh.

“Are you ever gonna get over that?” she shook her head “nope, I think it’s funny-as childish as that is” she now glanced at him, raising a brow expectantly “choking” she nodded, writing it down and in turn she wrote it down on her side too, earning a curious look from him.

“That’s good to know” she scoffed “shush-what’s next pretty boy?” he bit his lip “uh being complimented?” she rolled her eyes “it’s called a praise kink” he nodded slowly-watching as she wrote it on both sides-then she followed that with degradation before elbowing him-motioning for him to continue.

“Uh-well I er-I like to spit” she blinked a few times, brows knit together while glancing at him “elaborate” he bit his bottom lip for a second-feeling the familiar heat in his face “Like in girls mouths-and uh-on them” she slowly nodded her head, slightly confused but also intrigued “so like, you just do it? Is it like a heat of the moment thing? Or do you just-do it?” he shrugged.

“I guess it depends on the girl-you into that?” she shrugged “I dunno? Never really thought about it until now-I guess I’m always down to try something new?” he bit his bottom look-the two holding eye contact-his eyes flickering to her lips for a second before moving back up. Then he shifted his body slightly-to face her before bringing a hand to her cheek-gently caressing it before placing his thumb on her bottom lip-tugging at it.

“You wanna try it?” she felt heat rushing through her face-and she knew he’d be able to feel it radiating from her cheeks-his voice slightly dropped as his gaze was held on her lips. “Y-yeah” he smirked at her stuttering, moving his hand to her chin-tilting her head up slightly.

“Open up for me princess” the pet name sent a shiver down her spine as she obeyed him, parting her lips “tongue out-good girl” his praises went straight to her core-she was positive he knew exactly what he was doing-and truth be told-he did. He then leaned over her slightly-spitting in her mouth-and it was almost an instinct for him to lean closer-tongue against hers as he pulled her into a sloppy kiss. 

As much as she wanted to keep kissing him she pulled away for air first-she knew she was blushing-the heat enveloping her face had her biting her lip and looking away from Steve-staring down at the notebook. He smirked at her reaction, moving back the smallest bit-still in her personal space as he watched her write it on the paper-on his side she simply wrote ‘spitting’, on her side she wrote it with a few question marks. 

“You okay?” she shushed him “you know what you’re doing Harrington-quit it” he couldn’t hold in his laugh at her reaction “I just had to test a theory is all” she shushed him again, this time smacking his chest without looking up at him while she wrote ‘hair pulling’ on her side-and based on what she’d learned from their past experiences-it reflected on his too. She then followed her side with ‘overstimulation’

“So you’re into being fucked til you cry?” she choked slightly, her eyes widening and as she finished writing the ‘n’ she accidentally extended the ending of the letter. “Jesus Christ Steve” he nudged her slightly “oh c’mon you won’t even look at me? Really? Are you embarrassed again?” she scoffed.

“Shut up! Just tell me what to add to the list Harrington” he hummed, raising a brow “Finish your side first” the slight dominance in his tone made her eyes widened-and she finally looked at him-processing how close their faces were “Quit it Harrington” he bit his lip, tilting his head in faux confusion “quit what princess?” she clenched her jaw.

“You know what you’re doing!” he smiled “is it working” she shoved him back-pointing a singular finger at him while squinting her eyes slightly “we need to finish this you horndog!” he smirked, nodding his head “so it is working?” she scoffed “list first, then maybe if we have time we can fuck okay? Shit you’re such a perv!” he smiled “but you like it don’t you” she shushed him again-rolling her eyes while trying to hold in a smile.

“I was serious though, finish your side so I know what I’m working with” she scoffed “confident much? A little humility would benefit you” he nodded his head “you’ve been saying that for years at this point” she scoffed “maybe if you listened then I wouldn’t have to repeat it so often” he slowly nodded his head, a singular brow raised at that “eh-you’re right, now get to writing princess”

“Quit it!” she shoved him again “that one wasn’t even that sexual!” she scoffed, glancing at him “really? That sexual? You ass” he shrugged, pointing to the notebook with an expectant look on his face. She groaned, shifting away from him-trying to block his view-the entire time he moved behind her-glancing over her shoulders as she wrote ‘mirrors, rough sex (situational), breeding??, voyeurism, bondage??, spanking, edging??’.

“You have a breeding kink? That’s hot” her eyes widened at his question, heart practically beating out of her chest “shut up!” he laughed at her tensing up “You have to get comfortable saying things out loud y’know-that’s the whole point of us having sex” she groaned “that’s easy for you to say-you aren’t the one feeling like a whore writing this shit down” he laughed at her embarrassed tone.

“I mean-I’m gonna fuck you like a whore apparently-so it’s not far off?” she elbowed him “Steve!” he rolled his eyes “okay, okay I’ll cut it out” she nodded her head, before adding more things to the list-which only made Steve groan as he read them ‘gagging, crying??’ she shoved him back while she rushed to scribble the next one down ‘thighs’, although he still read it, his brows raised at that one-and he had to admit his cock was twitching in his pants.

“Finished?” she nodded her head, handing him the notebook-too embarrassed to actually face him. He quickly scribbled down ‘breeding, masterbating together, edging, blindfolds, handcuffs?? (sounds hot), biting, pussy eating’ he paused for a second “what’s voyeurism?” she groaned “when you like watching” his brows raised in surprise “learn something new about you every day Y/n” then he wrote it down on his side followed by ‘being in charge’, then ‘submissive shit’. 

With that he handed her the notebook-watching as she read through the list, brows raising and eyes widening. 

“So can we have sex now? Wait-first how was your exam” she placed the notebook on the bed between them-alongside her pen-her face now in her hands as she tried to calm herself down-she was both nervous and really turned on. He shifted on the bed, now sitting in front of her-gently grabbing her wrists and pulling them away from her face “you okay?” she nodded her head, avoiding eye contact.

“What’s wrong?” she scoffed “that’s my line Harrington” he nodded his head “I’m not the one nervous and stiff-y’know we don’t have to do it all at once-take it day by day-or week by week if you want” she bit her bottom lip, lightly gnawing on it “I’ve just never told anyone that stuff-y’know” he nodded slowly “not even Ryan?” she rolled her eyes “Ryan couldn’t even make me cum, and he was such an egocentric asshole-just cause he was decent at football” 

“So you're just into sleeping with assholes then?” he wiggled his brows when she glanced at him, she was quick to roll her eyes-smiling at his words “are you implying you’re an asshole Steve?” he shrugged “seems that way sometimes” she laughed at him “you’re not an asshole-anymore at least” he smiled at that.

“Okay now, we can focus on this-” he grabbed the notebook and closed it “-later, tell me about your exam pretty girl” she rolled her eyes, her smile evident while he stood up from the bed-placing her notebook on her desk before making it back to his original spot on the bed-scooting back against her iron wire headboard-which had pillows in front of it-then he extended his arms out-waiting for her to slide into them.

She grabbed her stuffed animal, holding it as she moved back-leaning against Steve’s side.

“I’m pretty sure I passed it?, found out I have the highest grade in the class-which was kind of shocking because I’ve been struggling my ass off.” 

She spent the next hour telling Steve everything about her exam, then about her conversation with her advisor and going into detail on her entire morning, all the while he nodded his head, listening to each and every word she said, free hand rubbing circles into her right thigh-which ended up being draped over his left leg. 

Then her alarm clock went off at one-thirty, signaling that the both of them had to be at work in half an hour-which only made Y/n groan, rolling her eyes while Steve reached over and turned it off. 

“I hate our job” he nodded his head “I mean-after we get off-we could always-y’know revisit the book” she bit her lip, glancing over at him “okay” with that he nodded his head-and without a second thought he leaned in-placing a gentle kiss to her lips-and when she kissed him back he felt like his heart was doing backflips in his chest-their moment cut short when she moved away, placing Blueberry down on the bed. 

“Can you drive today Steve? I really hate driving on days I have class” he nodded his head “that’s uh-fine-yeah totally fine” she smiled, grabbing her tote bag from her desk chair-switchin her wallet and keys from her backpack into that bag-all the while he stared at her, eyes tracing along her figure-staring like a lovesick puppy. 

Well that was until she put her vans back on, then turned to look at him, an expectant expression on her face “c’mon Harrington, shoes on-I wanna grab Robin something on the way since she’s been working the morning shift” he furrowed his brows “since when am I your taxi?” she shrugged “since you started eating my pussy on a regular basis” he choked on air at her comment-it was clear her confidence was back-but he hadn’t expected that one.

“Vulgar!” she scoffed “coming from you? You’re a literal perv, now hurry up!” he groaned, getting out of her bed. The two of them scrambled around the house for a few more minutes, then they were off. Y/n now sat in his passenger seat as she went through the different tapes in his glove compartment, raising a brow at the Madonna one while holding it up.

“Are you a material girl, Harrington?” he rolled his eyes “I got that for you y’know” she furrowed her brows, glancing at the tape-then back at him. “You always hum the songs on that album-and you always criticize what I play in the car-so I got that one to play when you’re here” she blinked a few times, trying to ignore the warm feeling in her chest while she popped it out of its case-then replaced the tape in his stereo with it.

He smiled when she played the tape, the upbeat tune of ‘Material Girl’ playing through the car while she looked out the window-based on her posture he knew she was trying to hide her smile-she always did that when people remember small things about her. It was practically the girl’s love language-granted he didn’t really understand the whole love language thing-but he knew nothing made her happier than that. 

He was falling deeper and deeper into his ‘thing’ for her, and he just wanted to push it away but the more he thought about it-the worse it got. So he opted to simply ignore it.

Which he later found was a lot harder than he thought.

Several hours had passed since they’d gotten to work, the two worked until close at nine tonight-close used to mean ten-however after a lot of arguing with their manager-they’d gotten it to nine. It was now closer to seven thirty and the traffic within the store started to pick up, Y/n worked the register while Robin worked on helping people with recommendations and going to the back to find any extra copies of tapes, and Steve worked on reshelving and talking to customers around the store.

It was their usual system-dividing and conquering as they went. 

However when one of her ex-boyfriend's friends walked through the front door Steve immediately stiffened up-eyeing him as he wandered through the new releases section-then the tall blonde made his way to the front desk where Y/n was currently on the phone.

He waited until she hung up, then from what Steve could see he started flirting with her-and he was laying it on thick-he was too irritated to even acknowledge the guy’s lame pick up lines and overused compliments-all he could focus on was the way Y/n laughed and smiled, rolling her eyes in a playful manner, twirling a piece of her blown out hair around her finger. 

She had a wide smile on her face as she rolled her eyes-clearly falling for his shitty flirting. Then he leaned across the counter slightly, closer to her-now twirling one of his fingers around a strand of her hair-the motion lighting a fire of jealousy in Steve’s entire body-to the point that he was completely ignoring a woman asking him for his help-too focused on the way Y/n let that douchebag touch her.

He finally recognized him-Richard Miles-it made sense that his name was Richard, he was a real dickhead. Steve mumbled under his breath about standards while gripping the tape in his hand so hard that his knuckles were whitening-the sound of snapping and a hand being waved in his face finally breaking his trance.

“Uh sorry-ya how can I help you ma’am?” the older woman nodded her head, a tight lipped smile on her face as she glanced over towards Y/n-then back at Steve “I understand that young love can be complicated, but please focus on your job kid-can you help me find a copy of Back to the Future? My grandson has been asking about seeing it” he nodded his head, motioning for her to follow behind him.

Meanwhile Y/n was still giggling at Rich’s jokes, gently swatting his hand away from her hair before leaning back, her hands now on the edge of the counter.

“Sorry Rich-no can do-Robin’s off limits” he scoffed, raising both brows “seriously? I’ve been trying to ask her out forever-she just doesn’t notice. Y’know I have English with her? She doesn’t even acknowledge me half the time-and we sit right next to each other!” she laughed at that, rolling her eyes, shaking her head.

“I can’t help you Rich, the heart wants what it wants-but sometimes it’s just not in the cards” he knit his brows together, running a hand through his tousled blonde hair. “I’m gonna act like I got that card thing-but you really can’t help me-not even for the sake of old times?” she sighed, pursing her lips inward while shaking her head-she knew why Robin didn’t pay him any mind-and it was never her place to tell anyone that. When Robin wanted to let her truth be known-she would. For now Y/n would be a supportive friend.

“Not even for old times” he sighed, leaning over again-toying with her hair. He’d always been a flirt-that was just Rich, he was a natural flirt and it was simply a part of his personality. She didn’t mind it, the two were actually good friends prior to her messy breakup-then he had to let her know that for the sake of his spot on the team-he had to distance himself from her. At first she was angry that her ex managed to break her friendships apart, but she knew how much playing football actually meant to the blonde so she simply accepted the fate of her friendship.

However when Ryan went off to play football at some D3 school across the country she easily found her way back to her old social circles, when she wasn’t with Steve, Robin, and the kids-she was with them. No one ever really questioned it because she didn’t give them the chance to. 

“Alright sweetheart-thanks for trying though” she nodded her head as he let go of her hair, offering a small smile-his gaze finding Robin as she walked around the store “you think if I go talk to her-she’ll listen” Y/n laughed at that, shaking her head “I don’t think so man-sorry” he nodded his head a few times, letting out a groan before handing her the copy of Risky Business

“Interesting choice” he shrugged “what can I say, my sister loves Tom Cruise” she laughed while scanning his membership card, then scanning the barcode of the movie with her hand scanner, typing a few things into the system. “That’ll be four-forty seven and it’s back in three days” he nodded his head, handing her a five dollar bill.

“Keep the change pretty girl” she scoffed, laughing at his terrible joke, however before Y/n could respond Steve was standing next to her behind the front desk, smacking a hand against the counter while grabbing his receipt and shoving it in his direction “have a great day Rich” the blonde slowly nodded while taking his receipt, walking away then turning back to wave at Y/n.

She glanced over at Steve-who was visibly annoyed “what the hell was that Harrington?” he clenched his jaw, taking a deep breath, now meeting her stare “nothing-just figured you could use a break from flirting with every guy within a ten foot radius” she blinked a few times, brows knit together-a wave of anger coursing through her entire body.

“Excuse me? What the fuck is your problem?” he rolled his eyes, nodding his head a few times “my problem? You-” before he could finish Robin cut them both off with a loud “Woah, woah, woah! Both of you calm down and go back to what you were doing! Argue later-we actually have to do our job today!” Y/n clenched her jaw-eyes slightly squinted as she stared at Steve-a look of pure anger on her face while he licked his lips, then offered Robin a tight lipped smile, his hands on his hips while he nodded his head again.

“Yeah-you heard that Y/l/n-we have a job to do so maybe don’t eye fuck any of our other customers” she scoffed “Are you serious? Fuck you Harrington” but before they could keep arguing Robin dragged Steve away-by his ear as if she was his mother. She smiled at some of the customers staring at the two while she dragged him to the far back corner near the Adult section partition.

She immediately smacked his arm “what is wrong with you?!” he rolled his eyes, shrugging his shoulders “nothing-nothings wrong” she raised both brows, staring expectantly at Steve “you’re joking right? You basically just called Y/n a whore? In the middle of our job?” he blinked a few times, finally unclenching his jaw and rolling his shoulders back.

“I didn’t call her a whore” Robin gave him a confused look “yes you did, you literally said she was eye fucking every male within a ten foot radius-your words not mine” she glanced back over at Y/n, who now forced a smile, but Robin easily noticed the way she angrily typed-fingers practically bashing into the keys-then she basically slammed the scanner down onto the counter while smacking the register shut. 

“Yeah-she’s pissed.” he looked over at her, now feeling a pang of guilt in his chest-he didn’t know where that came from-he was angry at her-or maybe at Rich-he didn’t really know.

“I just-I dunno” Robin scoffed “you got jealous didn’t you! Oh my god I knew it!” he knit his brows together, glancing back at Robin “knew what?” she rolled her eyes “you have a thing for her! I knew people couldn’t just have sex and not be into each other” he shushed her, blinking rapidly-tilting his head slightly before glancing at the customers around the store. “I don’t have a thing for her”

Robin slowly nodded her head “so why’d you get jealous when Rich was flirting with her-by the way he flirts with everyone-that’s literally just how he acts. He flirts with our English teacher-and she’s like fifty Steve!” he blinked a few times, a dumbfounded look on his face as he opened and closed his lips a few times trying to figure out something to say-he couldn’t just outwardly admit that Robin was right-and he also felt bad for calling Y/n a whore-granted he’d definitely call her a whore in a different context. 

“Are you gonna tell her?” he scoffed “Tell her what Rob? I-I don’t have a thing for her-she’s my friend okay-I just-I dunno” Robin slowly nodded, her brows still raised “well-whatever that was-figure your shit out because we have a job to do and I just wanna go home soon” he nodded his head.

For the next two hours Y/n ignored Steve-and even as the three of them were finishing closing she completely ignored him, walking right past him-taking the extra step away from him so their shoulders didn’t brush, taking the register key from his hands without even looking in his direction, organizing the desk while whistling to drown out the sounds of his forced apologies, and once Steve mumbled something about dropping Robin off she simply nodded her head. 

She’d gone as far as to sit in the backseat-shimmying away from his line of vision, only saying bye to Robin and blowing her a kiss before staying seated in his back seat. He tried to convince her to move to the front-however she simply stared out of the window-an emotionless expression on her face which remained the same as he drove towards her house. 

Once he parked the car she was quick to get out-slamming the door as hard as possible.

“Seriously y/n!” She flipped him off while she walked to her front door-pulling her keys out of her bag and unlocking it-she was planning on slamming the door in Steve’s face-however he managed to hold it open from behind her-following her inside despite her silent protest.

It was clear that she was still pissed. 

“Can you at least let me apologize?” she scoffed, walking down the hallway and into her bedroom, kicking off her shoes and placing her bag on her desk before turning to face him. “Apologize? For which part? Being a total asshole to Rich for no fucking reason? Calling me a whore? Or maybe arguing with me at our fucking job? Hmm how about accusing me of eye fucking random fucking people?” 

He blinked a few times-trying to ignore the way her irritation was turning him on, she spoke with an almost venomous tone-she hadn’t been this angry with him since their junior year homecoming-but good God was it doing things to him. He licked his lips while nodding his head.

“Maybe if you’d let me explain” she scoffed “explain what? Your bullshit fit of jealousy because oh wow I’m gonna go fuck any guy that pays any attention to me? What do you think I’m just fucking easy?” He tried to stay calm, but as she walked closer to him-her voice getting louder-he found it harder to keep himself calm and collected. He clenched his jaw, taking a deep breath.

“What the fuck do you even have to be jealous of? And don’t even try to lie to me Steve-I know you like the back of my fucking hand! You’re acting like I’m some precious little ‘off limits’ doll-you fucking asshole!” he scoffed, mumbling “you are off limits”-which only made her tilt her head, fists clenched at her sides as she stopped in her tracks-only a few steps away from him now.

“Excuse me?” he nodded his head “last time I checked, you’re not supposed to be fucking other people in the first place Princess” he walked right past her-grabbing the notebook off her desk-flipping it open “Huh-wow even wrote it yourself-what a smart girl you are” his sarcasm was pissing her off even more.

“I never even said I was gonna fuck him, you just assume that I whore myself out to anyone and everyone-huh maybe that’s why I even agreed to fuck you in the first place! How about I just call this off and go fuck Rich and everyone else in Hawkins over the age of eighteen”  that caught his attention-now staring at her-the pit of jealousy ignited again.

“Since I’m such a fucking easy whore, maybe I’ll start with all of my exes team mates-let them pass me around for fun!” Her sarcasm was actually irritating him now, and truth be told, the thought of her with anyone but him set off a fire in him that he hadn’t felt in a long time. She shook her head, rolling her eyes at his silence.

“Get the fuck out Steve” he licked his lips at her words “Do you ever shut the fuck up?” she scoffed “excuse me?” he nodded his head, “I said, do-you-ever-shut-the-fuck-up” he paused between each word, the evident shift in his tone brought heat to her cheeks-but she ignored it-she was mad at him and she had to remember that as she stood her ground.

“You’re such a fucking asshole Steve!” he bit his lip, nodding his head twice “yeah? I’m the asshole-course I am pretty girl-or would you like it better if Rich called you that-maybe I should just keep calling you a whore-I know how much you like that” his dominant tone was evident while he stared at her-glancing down at the notebook in his hands before flipping a page-looking at the list they’d made earlier for a few seconds before meeting her stare again.

“Maybe I should fuck you like a whore-maybe then you’d shut the fuck up” she swallowed, trying to ignore the heat traveling through her body, forcing a scoff “your ego isn’t helping the situation Harrington” he licked his lips again-a smirk on his face at the way her thighs slightly clenched together-the black miniskirt she wore did nothing to hide that. His eyes slowly trailed her figure-and she was trying her best not to buckle under pressure-she was mad at him-she needed to remember that she was mad at him.

He took a few steps towards her until they were inches apart, the same smirk on his face “you can’t even hide it can you” he tried to place a hand on her cheek-but she immediately smacked it away while rolling her eyes “you can’t fuck your way out of everything Steve” he nodded his head “you’re right, but I can fuck you so good you stop entertaining every asshole that looks your way” his confidence sent shivers down her spine while he held eye contact with her.

“Why can’t you just admit that you’re a jealous asshole” he nodded his head “yea would that make my girl happy? If I said watching that blonde dickhead flirt you-and touch you-made me jealous? That I don’t like people touching what’s not theirs” her face was on fire at this point-and as he placed his hand on her jaw-she let him-her heart practically beating out of it’s chest-her anger slowly fading into need. 

“If it’s too much-I want you to say peaches-cause they’re your favorite, isn’t that right princess” she nodded her head, lips parted as she stared at him-slowly forgetting why she was angry in the first place. The look he was giving her was enough to send her spiraling.

Steve on the other hand had a fire of jealousy running through his entire body-he was committed to making his point and solidifying it. He didn’t hesitate to pull her into a kiss, lips crashing together, Y/n easily melting against him-one of his hands now on the back of her head-hand in her hair while the other was holding onto her waist-pulling her even closer to him. 

She moaned into the kiss when he lightly tugged on her hair-giving him the chance to slide his tongue into her mouth-and as he deepened the kiss she gripped his sides-tongue moving against his while she felt herself getting pushed into that familiar pool of Steve Harrington. The hand on her waist slipped down-and when he opted to bunch up her skirt-his hand grasping her ass before landing a hard smack to her skin she whimpered.

He didn’t stop there-as he kissed her he repeated the motion, massaging the soft flesh, harshly grasping it, then smacking it-earning a moan as she pulled away from the kiss-eyes still shut-forehead against his-lips parted with heavy breaths falling from them. 

“Already desperate? Haven’t even gotten to the good part yet princess” she kept her eyes shut, now biting down on her bottom lip-she didn’t want to look at him-she felt the very familiar flush across her skin-heat enveloping her figure. Her resolve was so easily broken down it was as if she’d never even been mad at him. 

“Open your eyes” she listened to him-her gaze focused on anything but his face as she pulled back slightly-she was embarrassed by how easily he could wrap her around his finger-then he smacked her ass again “Look at me princess” she did as told, now meeting his stare-his eyes were usually dark-but they looked almost black-lust overtaking them as he stared at her-his cocky smirk evident.

“You’re such a desperate slut y’know that?” she nodded her head “You just need attention is all” as he spoke he trailed the hand that was on the back of her head along her cheek-tugging at her bottom lip for a second before he harshly gripped her chin-cheeks slightly smushed together-lips parted as rushed breaths left them. “You’re usually such a good girl for me, perfect little princess, all As, studying so hard, never late for anything, always so focused, so helpful, so eager, keeps those legs nice and wide for me, so sweet-but look at you now-a bitchy little whore” his degrading tone had her panties practically soaked, her thighs pressed together, her grip on his sides tightening.

“Is’ okay, m’ gonna take care of my little slut-remind you that you’re my girl-remind you of your fucking place” she tried to nod her head-his hand keeping her still. “You understand me?” she whimpered “y-yes” he gave her an almost sadistic smile “good girl” 

With that he all but threw her onto her bed, her back hitting the mattress-a loud creak from her bed heard as it hit the wall. He was quick to pull off his crew neck-tossing it aside then kicking off his shoes-all the while she stared at him, chest rapidly rising and falling while she pressed her thighs together-trying to get some type of friction-some type of relief. 

“So pretty like that-” he spoke as he got onto the bed-making his way between her thighs-easily spreading her legs wide open-a smirk on his face when he noticed the evident wet spot on her black panties. Her thighs still covered in marks he’d left the night before-she was his and it made him go crazy. She just needed to be reminded of that. 

He was quick to start rubbing her clit above her panties-the friction and much needed relief had her head rolling back, whimpers leaving her lips as her hands gripped the sheets below her-bucking her hips into Steve’s hand-on the verge of begging him for more. The tension between the two had gotten so thick-so palpable-that she was positive it was only making things so much worse for herself. 

“Haven’t even really touched you yet and look at you-” he finally slid her panties to the side-not bothering to remove them as his middle and ring finger found their place against her clit while he rubbed harsh circles against the sensitive pearl. “-Don’t think I forgot that you like it rough-you want me to fuck you like a desperate, whiney, whore? Make you cry?” she nodded her head-finally looking at him.

“Use your words princess” she moaned “y-yes” he smirked, fingers moving faster along her clit-the feeling had her whimpering-hooded eyes staring at him while she moved one of her hands-grasping his wrist “you’re already gonna cum aren’t you? That needy?” she moaned as he shifted his hand slightly, two fingers slipping right into her-his thumb against her clit. It was like he memorized her body-to be fair he hadn’t stopped thinking about her since the first time they slept together. 

Her loud moans and whimpers only motivated him to move his fingers faster within her, curling them against her g-spot over and over again-the motion making her toes curl-the familiar coil in her abdomen tight. As the walls of her cunt fluttered around his fingers he knew she was close-he loved it when he made her cum-she looked so pretty under him-face scrunched up slightly, lips forming a perfect ‘o’ while needy whines and moans left her swollen lips. 

“Aw are you already gonna cum? That quick-can’t even hold it can you?” she shook her head, brows knit together while she bit down on her bottom lip hard enough to nearly draw blood. “Fuck look at you-so fuckin desperate-fuck.” he groaned as he spoke, his eyes trailing her entire figure-her shirt rolling up slightly-skirt bunched up at her waist as her legs were spread wide-glistening cunt on full display just for him. 

“So pretty like this, spread wide open just for me” she nodded her head, head rolling back again, rushed whimpers leaving her lips while her back arched off the bed slightly “that’s it princess-cum for me like the needy bitch you are” that sent her right over the edge-hips bucking into his hand while her eyes were squeezed shut-loud moans leaving her lips.

“St-Steve! Oh fuck-Steve” her words dragged as she moaned, breaths slightly choked, her head felt like it was spinning-because the second she felt like she was coming down-she opened her eyes and Steve was already laying between her thighs-fingers still rapidly fucking into her. 

“Love how your pussy tastes-fuck can’t get enough of it” with that his tongue trailed along her folds-teasing her-and right as she let out a loud strung out whine-he started lapping at her clit then bringing it into his mouth. He sucked on it like a man starved, her hands now gripping his hair-tugging at the soft brown locks while her back arched off the bed-eyes screwed shut-loud moans, whimpers, and cries constantly falling from her lips.

When she tried bucking her hips into his face he moved his free hand-wrapping it around one of her thighs-holding it against his shoulder-using that as leverage to pin her in place. He moved back for a second “stay fuckin still” she moaned a slurred “yes sir” which only made him groan-mouth back on her pussy-sliding a third finger into her sopping hole-smirking at the way she gasped-his gaze now held on her face-watching as she tried to look at him-her eyes falling shut each and every time.

“Steve-oh my god-Steve-please-please-please” her begging had him moaning against her clit, his hips rutting against her bed-as he kept his motions up, slightly grinding his teeth against her clit-tugging at it-the motion pushing her right over the edge again-the overstimulation setting as she nearly screamed his name. Her whole body tensed, her hands tugging his hair harder and harder while he lapped at her cunt-sliding his fingers out of her-only to replace them with his tongue.

“T-too much-fuck, fuck, fuck” he licked one final flat stripe against her cunt before sitting up on his knees “Yeah? Too much? Pretty girls all fucked out already?” she whimpered “that’s too fuckin bad” with that he grasped her waist “you’ve got on too much clothes baby, take it off my smart girl” she nodded her head, vision slightly hazy as she sat up slightly-pulling off her sweater-tossing it elsewhere before she unclasped her bra-Steve pulling it right off-taking a second to drag his fingers along her arms-the soft motion a direct contrast from the way he was about to ruin her.

“So perfect-look at you-my perfect little fuck toy” she moaned at his words, her heart beating against her chest while his hungry eyes scanned her figure-and as she tried to close her legs-he pinned them down-holding them open-his stare held on her cunt-wet panties pushed to the side-leaving her open the way he liked. “This cunts all mine-all fuckin mine-you understand me?” she nodded her head. “Use your words”

“All yours-fuck Steve-all yours” he smirked, her raspy voice made him blush, but more importantly-her words lit a different fire in him-one that was consuming his entire being-he needed more of her-he needed to fuck her. He landed a harsh smack to her center-the motion earning a whimper from her while she stared at him. “Hands and knees-gonna fuck you like a whore since you love to act like one” 

The way he degraded her made her mind hazy, all she could do was nod her head-and with his help she managed to roll over-now on her hands and knees-head slightly hung. He groaned at the sight-but it wasn’t good enough for him-he pressed a singular hand to her lower back-his other hand holding her hip-pushing against her-deepening her arch until she groaned-the new stretch oddly satisfying while Steve worked at his jeans-the sound of his belt unbuckling sent heat through her core. 

She was positive that her cunt was leaking along her thighs-she’d never been this turned on in her life-her mind lost in the haze of Steve Harrington’s dominant side. She’d never been a fan of jealous sex in the past-but right now-she’d flirt with half of Hawkins if it meant he’d fuck her like this more often.

He stroked his cock a few times-moaning at the sight of her on all fours-face down ass up just for him-god he’d fantasized about this moment for what felt like years. She wiggled her ass slighty-swaying her hips and whining “Steve-please-fuck me” he moaned at that-smacking her ass twice “shut the fuck up and wait princess” with that he lined himself up with her cunt-sliding the tip of his cock along her slit-gathering her wetness while teasing her.

“Gonna fuck you so good, make you forget all about that fuckin asshole from earlier-remind you that I’m the only one allowed in this tight little cunt-only one allowed to have you like this-only one allowed to hear your desperate whines while I fuck you like a bitch in heat” she whimpered-looking back over her shoulder-craning her neck trying to see him-watching as he stared down at her cunt-gliding his cock along her slit until he found her hole.

“Oh and princess-I’d never assume you’d whore yourself out to anyone who looked your way” with that he slammed into her-bottoming out in one fast stroke-then he repeated the motion building a rhythm. Her arms practically collapsed-back arching a little bit more as her cheek hit the mattress, hands gripping the sheets below her while she moaned his name-over and over-in a chant. She didn’t even care about the burn of the stretch-she loved the way he was pounding into her. 

“F-fuck Steve-so good-so so good fuck” he smirked, smacking her ass again-then placing one hand on her waist-holding her bunched up skirt in place as he fucked into her. She was a moaning, whining mess under him as he fucked her-his head thrown back slightly while he kept his movements up. He couldn’t get enough of her-and the way she felt around him-he was thankful she forced him into going to the clinic-the feeling of her warm, tight, wet cunt swallowing him raw was a feeling he wouldn’t trade for the world.

“So fuckin tight-fuck feels so good baby” she whimpered, biting her bottom lip-the overstimulation making her body burn “too much-fuck Steve” her words had a continuos slur to them, all dragging together. It felt too good, she knew she was close again-her body melting into him-she really was his fuck toy-and she loved every second of it.

He leaned forward, snaking a hand around her figure-gripping her throat-the feeling made her whimper as he pulled her back slightly-her head leaned back into his shoulder while he pinned her to the bed-cock fucking into her sopping cunt-the squelching sounds alongside the sounds of skin slapping practically echoing in the room. 

Then he started licking and sucking marks into her shoulder blade, leaving a bite mark along her soft skin-earning another loud moan from her.

“Taking my cock so well-fuck feels like you’re swallowing me-so fuckin good for me Y/n-always so fuckin good-even when you have that fuckin attitude. Just needed to get fucked good huh? That it?” she nodded her head, moaning incoherent words and sounds, he felt her walls flutter around him-he knew how close she was-and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t teetering on that edge as well.

“M-more, n-need m-more Steve” he smirked “yeah? You need more? My smart girl needs more?” she whimpered “y-yes” which led to him moving the hand on her hip-sliding it under her body-between her thighs-two fingers tracing crescent moons into her swollen clit, her jaw dropping at that-a long low moan of his name slipping out of her lips, tears sliding down her cheeks from the intense pleasure coursing through her.

“Gonna let me cum in you? Fill you up? Make this cunt mine?” she moaned a quick “y-yes” while nodding her head, one of her hands moving from the bed below her to his wrist-holding on to him while he fucked her over the edge-a loud scream of his name fell past her lips, her eyes squeezed shut as she arched into him. 

“Just like that pretty girl, fuck just like that” he moaned as he spoke, keeping his rhythm up-fucking her through her orgasm before pulling out of her, taking a second to press a gentle kiss to her cheek before moving back. “Roll over for me baby” she lazily nodded her head-laying down then slowly rolling onto her back-the second Steve noticed the tears on her face he swiped a few away with his thumb before holding her chin “you’re so pretty when you cry” his words were almost sweet-but the degrading tone behind them made her whimper. 

The way she stared at him made his heart race-she looked so cock drunk, her eyes hooded, tears along her cheeks, a layer of sweat covering her skin, lips swollen and parted with a small smile on her face. “Can you handle another one?” she nodded her head “words” 

“Yeah-please Stevie” her voice was strained and raspy, she moved one of her hands to grip his forearm-pulling his hand from her chin to her throat all the while holding eye contact with him-and he lost all of his composure at the motion. Her mind was a haze, she was so high on pleasure that she’d practically let him do anything to her right now and it was driving him crazy. 

He stared at her for a few moments, taking every part of her in before moving, now leaning above her, perfectly slotted between her thighs while he traced the tip of his cock along her dripping slit-and in one quick motion he was thrusting into her, her head falling back slightly-a loud moan of his name leaving her lips while her hands easily found their way to his back-gripping against his shoulder blades as he pounded relentlessly into her.

“So-so good, fuck-swallowing me whole-taking it so well” she nodded her head at his praise, brows knit together in pleasure while her nails dug into his skin-scratching long marks into his back while she moaned below him-the tears still falling from her eyes as she felt herself practically drowning-it was so overwhelming. She knew she was close, it wouldn’t take much to push her back over the edge-her fucked out cunt and swollen clit so sensitive that the moment his fingers glided against the bud she was gasping and arching into him.

“C’mon princess, cum all over my cock-show me it’s all yours” His head now in the crook of her neck, lips brushing her ear as he spoke. her heart was racing for a different reason now-his words sending a shiver down her spine and even through the ocean of pleasure she was in-she still felt the butterflies in her stomach. He was so close that his shoulder was slightly brushing against her chin-his body enveloping hers.

“Good girl, just like that-squeezin me so good” she moaned again, and as her orgasm hit her-she bit down on his shoulder-earning a loud groan from him-the motion surprising him but also sending heat waves through his entire figure. “F-fuck, gonna cum-I’m gonna fill you up princess” his words were strained and all she could do was moan-too caught up in her orgasm to speak coherently. 

Then as she felt herself start coming down from her high-he kept fucking into her-hips slamming against hers for a few seconds before his warmth filled her-the motion feeling almost euphoric as she whined his name-all the while he was moaning incoherent phrases into her ear.

As they both came down from their state of euphoria he rested his head against her shoulder-both of them catching their breath as he slowly pulled out of her-mumbling apologies when she whimpered and gripped his skin again. Then he rolled off of her-ignoring the feeling of his pants around his hips-tucking his cock back into his briefs while he stared at her ceiling. The two laying in complete silence-the only sounds heard were their harsh breaths.

“Steve” he swallowed “yeah?” “Rich is into Robin not me” his eyes widened at that, brows knit together while he processed her words-then he finally sat up-looking over at her-watching as she pulled one of her bunched up sheets over her chest-gaze still held on the ceiling above them. 

“What? She’s gay-” Y/n rolled her eyes “we’re literally the only people in Hawkins who know that you moron” he blinked even more, an evident flush on his skin now because he had to bullshit some excuse about the way he just fucked her-or why he said the things he said-he couldn’t just outwardly say he was jealous because he wanted her to be his-in every aspect. No he couldn’t, so what was he supposed to say.

“Oh-uh-shit” she finally looked at him, shifting her body slightly-laying on her side as she met his stare. “Have you always been the jealous type?” he scoffed, rolling his eyes-the real answer was no-he’d been confident in most of his relationships and endeavors-of course his ex girlfriend did cheat on him but even before that he’d never been outwardly jealous when someone looked her way-so why was it different with Y/n.

“Uh yeah-guess so” she knit her brows together at his rushed response, but she didn’t want to press anything else out of him given the fact that it was late and her entire body was sore-and all she wanted to do was take off her soaked panties, take the skirt off, then lay down. 

“Help me with my skirt?” he nodded his head, gently pulling the sheet back-a loud audible moan leaving his lips at the sight of her fucked out pussy dripping with his cum-a wave of heat rushing through his entire body as he found himself struggling to pull her skirt off alongside her panties. His gaze focused on her cunt-and as she squeezed her legs shut-angling them slightly-just enough that he could see her leaking pussy he had to fight the urge to finger it all back into her.

She hadn’t even noticed-her eyes fluttering shut while he pulled her clothes off, however as his fingers gently grazed her inner thigh she whimpered-looking at him-realizing his gaze was directly on her center. “Harrington-quit it” he raised a brow-blinking a few times before looking back at her face “huh-what?” she pursed her lips slightly “stop staring at my pussy” he groaned “I can’t help it, looks so good with my cum dripping from it” 

She ignored the rush of heat to her face, opting to roll her eyes instead “take your pants off and lay down with me you jealous douchebag-and I still want that apology” he bit his lip, holding back a smile while nodding her head.

Then after a few minutes he was back next to her-pulling her into his chest.

“Sorry for flipping out earlier-I just-I dunno I didn’t like how he was flirting with you-then you kept giggling and I just-” she scoffed “you just what? Assumed I’d spread my legs for him in the middle of the store?” she was teasing him now, her light hearted tone made him roll his eyes, a smile on his face. “I mean-Rich isn’t exactly ugly-for all I know he could be my competition” she rolled her eyes “I agreed to have sex with you and literally said I wouldn’t have sex with anyone else-also if I wanted to fuck Rich I would’ve done it months ago. He’s a cool guy but he’s such an airhead, maybe if I was like you he’d be my type”

He scoffed “like me?-I’ll have you know my type is very diverse!” she rolled her eyes “pretty bimbos with big tits” he scoffed again “and what about you?” she raised a brow, now leaning up, looking down at him “so you’re saying i’m your type?” he started blushing-eyes widening at her words.

“It’s okay Harrington-you just might be my type too. Don’t think too deep into it-might actually hurt that pretty little head” he rolled his eyes “just because you have a nice ass doesn’t mean you have to act like an ass” she nodded her head “who knows-maybe next time you fuck me like that I’ll let you eat it-and don’t forget I have a great rack too”

With that she let out a few giggles, laying back down and shushing him as he tried to respond.

The both of them knew they were more than friends-however they’d do their best to avoid the conversation about that. For now they’d simply pretend nothing had changed-pretend that their sex mean’t nothing-that Steve’s jealousy was just a spur of the moment thing, and that Y/n’s heart didn’t race everytime he looked her way. 

What’s the worst that would happen? They’d fall in love? As if.

-

Taglist: @dmonchld​ @anxietyandtacos​ @radiantroope​ @wisdaemon​ @hearteyes-blog @mabelestell​ @totally-bogus-timelady​ @live-the-fangirl-life​ @asbisexualasitgets​ @prettyinpunk85​ @destielshipper88​ @godidontevenknowwhat​ @harringtonsbtch​ @madziekatfromao3 @postresdevainilla @k-k0129​ @little-pocket-rocket​ @darylssluttt​ @touchdeprivedwh0re​ @catpoopiekaworu​ @siriuslysmoking​ @renaroo123​ @clearbolts​ @blorp-bee​ @clacatbuc​ @bigbittiebitch @williamjzanders​ @misaamaneswifey​ @val-writesstuff​ @sunfairyy​ @inloveeith999fictionalcharacters @whoamads @treat-winchesterswith-kindness​ @niviiera​ @nearlypetrified @oneeggontoast​ @sparkletash​ @levylovegood​ @cali-888 @sinforsuccubus​ @aizensgf​ @watercolorskyy​ @zeusmyster​ @spiral-x @r0s3mm

If you are not getting these tags tumblr won’t let me tag you, srry bby :(, you can always mssg me or send me an ask to double check that your url is spelled correctly on my taglist form

[void-chara]

My gift for the @technoblade-gift-exchange !! i was assigned to @simplepotatofarmer who asked for dsmp rivals duo. i hope you like it Loyal!

rambling about headcanons, designs, and my process and stuff under the readmore, because i wanna talk about it but dont want the post to be super long !!

i had originally planned to not have a background and then at the last second i decided to speedrun drawing one in a few hours so um. quality difference but its fine. also unrelated but im pretty sure everything about how i draw animals and anthros makes it very obvious i used to be in the warrior cats fandom lol. anyway onto the designs!!

the gold on techno is scars from the totem at the execution, which i think is a pretty common thing for techno designs. he isnt supposed to be a piglin, but rather similar species of anthropomorphic pig. also his mane and tail fluff are naturally brown but he dyes them pink ^_^ so cool !! um. i maaayyy have forgotten the crown until i was way too far into the piece to add it. haha. oops. pretend its missing because. uuh. hes in a casual outfit. "but he still has the cape" yeah its comfy. "but dream has a mask thats not casual" dream is dream he does Not relax fully ever. see entirely intentional i would never make a mistake.

dream is an original shapeshifter species i came up with because i couldnt decide what i wanted him to be. i havent decided on a name for the species yet but i plan to make almost every solid-color or nearly solid color mcyt into this species. theyre mostly involuntary/unconscious shapeshifters. so like they change slowly over weeks or months to adapt to their surroundings, with little conscious control. basically i wanted him to be like five different things so i shoved them together lol, rabbit ears but in a pattern that looks like an axolotl, a cool tail, TOE BEANS tho you cant see them. this was actually the first time ive ever had a dream design im happy with so thats really nice.

i um. i made full use of my time lol, i spent a bit over a week on the lineart, another week on the coloring, and maybe a week and a half on rendering. unless i suddenly became shit at math(which is possible) that adds up to roughly the amount of time i had to work on it. im really proud of myself actually since i usually take a while to do art, and i wasnt sure i would be able to make something id be happy with in this amount of time. but i did! woah!! this was my first time participating in a fandom gift exchange and it was so fun, and also helped motivate me to draw more instead of getting distracted like i usually do (classic adhd moment) lol. anyway super cool!!

Loyal if u decided to read all this for some reason then again i really hope u like it!! u are so cool and i really love ur rivals duo opinions and creations so i hope u like this! i know theres been shit happening lately, i hope ur doing ok!!

[jungkxook]

—hot boy bummer. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader 

⟶ genre: fuckboy!jungkook / friends with benefits / friends to lovers + smut  

⟶ words: 14,633

⟶ rating: 18+ 

⟶ summary: when jungkook offers you a proposition of just sex, no strings attached, how can you possibly say no? after all, what are best friends for?

⟶ warnings: kind of a crack fic, sprinkle of angst, way too casual conversations mid-sex, jealous jungkook, slight himbo jungkook tbh (he’s kind of a sweet loveable idiot), he also has a big dick oops, man bun and blonde jungkook to feed my fantasies!, multiple smut scenes!!!, missionary, dry humping, oral sex (m receiving), face fucking, unprotected sex, slight degradation (mostly jungkook hating himself), brief name calling, light choking, sort of praise kink

⟶ note: this was inspired by a number of things but mainly do me by kim petras being on jungkook’s spotify playlist, this tiktok sound, and this tumblr post lol also big thank you to @bratkook​ and @onherwings​ for letting me ramble on about this fic and reigniting my inspo for it 💛

( p.s. i tried to proofread this but if y’all see any typos no u didn’t, thank u <3 )

Being friends with Jungkook meant a myriad of things but mainly that there were hardly ever any boundaries that stood between you and him.

Having known him for most of your life, it was just a quintessential part of yours and his relationship with one another. From high school parties where you drunkenly spewed on his shoes and in his dad’s car after he tried lugging you home (and taking the fall all himself for your sake) to letting him lose his virginity in your bed to some girl you didn’t know because your parents were out of town and his would crucify him on the spot if they had found out; or him discovering your stash of vibrators in your dorm one day, or seeing each other naked more often than was probably necessary, there was nothing that either of you could do that would phase the other at this point even when it maybe, probably, definitely should.

College, and Jungkook’s sudden six pack of hard rock abs, only seemed to amplify the chaos of your friendship. If you’re being honest, the abs are sort of a plus ━ but they brought an air of fuckboy to him that is undeniably there even if he tries to deny it sometimes. You suppose it isn’t all his fault. Jungkook has always been bold and brash, attractively charming. Considering he’s seemingly made it his mission to sleep with every girl on campus before he graduates (undisclosed, if you’re being honest, because he’s never outwardly admitted it but you have a hunch), his confidence somehow hasn’t failed him yet.

But then there’s one night in which you think to yourself briefly: this surely must draw some sort of line.

“What if we, like, had sex?”

Jungkook says this a little too casually from beside you. He’s sat on the couch in his dorm, scrolling aimlessly on his phone, and you’re sprawled out on the remaining space, feet kicked up in his lap. You’re positive he’s drunk but, then again, so are you. The remnant shot glasses of soju you had both started the night with (though you think Jungkook’s had half the bottle himself), and your second glass of wine, are all evidence of that. You’re so absorbed by some anime Jungkook had been watching upon your arrival and refused to change that you almost don’t hear what he says. Almost. You do, however, nearly choke on the gummy bear you’ve just tossed into your mouth.

After a sudden hysterical fit of coughs, you manage to sputter, “Excuse me?”

“Like, hypothetically speaking.” He hardly budges when you turn to gawk at him, as if he’s asking you something as casual as what to eat for dinner or if you could pass him the T.V. remote. “Except, not really hypothetically.”

“You’re joking, right?” You scoff.

Jungkook blinks. “No. Why would I be joking?”

You blink. The longer you stare at him, the quicker you’re able to discern that there’s some sort of earnesty in his words and it slightly concerns you. Suddenly, you’re warm in the face. To distract from that painfully obvious fact, an incredulous laugh bubbles at your lips and you kick one of your feet at his thighs. “Very funny, Koo. Can we change the show now if you’re not even watching it?”

“I’m not joking, Y/N.” The severity in his tone makes you sit up at once. When you turn to look at him, he flashes you a taunting smirk, though the devious sparkle in his eyes lets you know this seems to be anything but a joke to him. “I’m sure you’ve thought of me naked before.”

“You’re such a fucking idiot━” Okay, so maybe you have thought of him naked before but how is it your fault when you literally have seen him naked before, and he’s so unabashed around you? “Should I bring you to a hospital to get your head checked, or━?”

“Just hear me out━” Now, he pushes himself to the edge of the sofa. “Why are you here right now?”

“In life? Because I honestly have no clue━”

“No, I meant here. Getting drunk in my apartment on a Friday night instead of getting railed.”

“Okay, I didn’t ask to get called out like that,” You grumble stiffly. “And because you’re my best friend, and I like spending time with you.” It’s not entirely a lie, because you would much rather spend time with Jungkook than anyone else. But when you feel his eyes boring into you in a look of scrutiny, your lips form into a pout which you try to hide by puckering them. “Also because boys are stupid and Hoseok’s blind date stood me up. Again.”

The events from hours earlier resurface in your memory, in which you had spent all evening making yourself look pretty for a boy you had only talked to through text that your roommate had introduced you to, only to arrive to the restaurant you were supposed to be meeting at and waiting there for half an hour by yourself before the boy had sent you a message saying something along the lines of “something came up, hope we can reschedule,” filing it under one of the lamest excuses you’ve ever heard because it hardly even borders on a valid excuse. It’s what had ultimately made you storm into Jungkook’s apartment an hour ago, exclaiming aloud as a greeting with a simple yet scarily cheerful I hate men! because Jungkook knows all about your plights with finding a significant other (or even just someone decent enough to open your legs to), usually lamenting men’s inability to have any emotions. Even the ones who you think are respectable enough, who say they’re fine not having sex on the first date, usually tend to flee right after you finally let them in because sex, as you come to find, seems to be all that men care about.

Admittedly, Jungkook is not any different.

“But it’s not like you’re any better.”

This seems to personally offend Jungkook. He looks at you cynically. “Me?”

“Tell me why you’re here with me on a Friday night when you’re literally one of the hottest guys on campus,” You point out. “You can get any girl, and yet you somehow manage to ruin it every single time. Like with Eunha.”

Jungkook winces. The poor Eunha in question is a pretty girl from your chem class, whomst Jungkook had somehow managed to charm. From what you know, they had hooked up a handful of times before that fateful night in which Jungkook had abruptly broken things off with her. If you’re being honest, he’s not a total monster. The only thing that seems to scare him away is when a girl asks to cuddle him in the morning or talks about the prospective future together. He doesn’t want to hurt them, he told you once before, and finds it much easier to nip any potential relationship in the bud before it can get too far, too out of control.

“We literally only slept together three times anyway and we never went out,” Jungkook points out. “What’s the big deal?”

A roll of your eyes doesn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook. “Yeah, it’s not her fault you’re scared of commitment.”

“Nu’uh,” The boy sulks. “I’m only scared of realistic things, like microwaves.”

A snort bubbles at your lips, and it’s frustrating how adorable he finds the simple action. Rather than entertain the thought of his irrational fear of kitchen appliances (because you’ve heard it all before, and you still can’t find where he was incited with the terror of an exploding microwave), you sit up.

“Jungkook, I don’t even like you like that.”

“I don’t like you like that either. That’s why it’s so perfect!” Jungkook says brightly. “Look, we know each other better than anyone else ever could. We’re already comfortable with each other. We don’t have to go through all that boring small talk. All I’m saying is we could give it a try. No relationship, no emotions, just sex.”

You consider the thought for a moment, weigh the pros and cons in your head.

The cons? He’s your best friend.

The pros? He’s your best friend, and he’s hot.

Truthfully, your slightly buzzed mind can find very little to dissuade you away from the inviting proposition and maybe that’s why you begin to entertain the idea. And, sure, you had just complained profusely about how men sometimes only used you for sex, but it’s not like you don’t have needs too. You just don’t have the gusto in you anymore to spend days on a boy who will only just leave you the moment you let him have sex with you. At least with Jungkook, he’s already offering you a blatant deal of sex only and you know you won’t have to worry about him breaking your heart; and he doesn’t have to worry about the dreaded dreamy post-sex cuddle talk of a future family and babies and a white picket-fence home. It’s a win-win for the both of you, really. Or maybe you’re just telling yourself that.

“How would we even start?” You ask finally. “I mean… Do you even find me attractive enough in that way?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook hardly bats a lash. He meets your stare, licks slowly at his lower lip. When he sees the cross look of disbelief scrunching at your face, he hastens to respond. “I’m not blind. You’re fucking drop dead gorgeous, Y/N.”

“But physically attractive? I’m no hot girl Eunha.”

“If I wanted Eunha, I’d be between her legs right now. Y/N, of course I think you’re attractive.” A gentle sliver of a smile dances upon his lips. He leans his head on the back of the couch, eyes fluttering over your appearance shortly. “I’ve always liked your lips, and your eyes. Think they’re beautiful.”

Suddenly, you’re flustered again. The room feels as if it’s getting increasingly warmer, yet you seem to want to bask in the feeling and attention a little longer. “That’s too sentimental.”

“It’s true though.”

“Well, you’re lucky I’ve always had a thing for idiots,” You jest playfully. “Jerks, too. Playboys who are too hot for their own good.”

“Ah, and I love it when you talk dirty to me.” A cheeky grin tugs at his lips as he clutches at his heart over his chest. “It’s a good thing I like it a little too much, knowing you’ll always keep me in check.”

But then the mirth seems to fade from your mind long enough for you to hum aloud pensively, “And I’ve always liked your eyes. I’ve never seen such big eyes before. Sometimes, if I look long enough, it’s like I can see the stars in them.”

As you’re speaking about them, his irises glisten magnificently. He bites at his lip now, as if to hide the way his soft smile turns sheepish. “I like your bum.”

“Really? I always worry it’s too flat.”

“Are you kidding? Your ass is a fucking god-send. It’s hard not to stare when you wear leggings sometimes,” Jungkook admits, earning a small giggle from you. “And I like your boobs. I’ve always wondered…” He trails off abruptly, shaking his head. He shoots you an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop. I’m being an idiot, aren’t I?”

“Well, maybe I don’t want you to stop.”

Silence saturates the room now, settling comfortably between the two of you. He wonders what you’re thinking, and you wonder if he can hear your heart hammering against your chest. Perhaps on any other day when you were of sound mind, you could find a plethora of reasons as to why sleeping with your best friend was a terrible idea. But being that you were slightly tipsy, and Jungkook isn’t far off, you can find not one fault, except for maybe how tragically hot Jungkook looks sitting across from you and how he’s never been yours, at least in that way. Would it be so wrong to try just once?

You shift then, pushing yourself to your knees if only so you can worm your way towards him before swinging one leg over his. You settle back on his lap, hands gripping his shoulders. He can feel your core press against the inside of his thigh, just where his dick is nestled and he has to bite back a moan. His eyes are wider than usual, as if believing the moment to be surreal, though something sultry threatens to darken them.

“Y/N…”

The excitement crackles through your veins like electricity. You’ve never been in such a compromising position with Jungkook before, and you wonder if it should be concerning just how much you’re enjoying it. It almost feels as if time slows down, every second dragging on, yet he can’t look away. His hands come to tug at your hoodie (that he’s almost positive was his once upon a time before you nicked it from his closet) and you meet him part way, replacing his efforts as you pull it up and off your body. Then, you’re sitting back on his lap in your full nude glory, chest bare and right in his face. He eyes the swell of your breasts, the perk of your nipples. Of course you’re not wearing anything beneath your hoodie ━ and, god, he loves it.

“Touch me?”

Your voice comes to him in an almost dream. You reach for his hand then, your palm soft around his knuckles and the tattoos that ink his skin. It’s the same hand of which he wears the other half to your pair of friendship bracelets in one of his favourite colours of red, decorated with little pink hearts. It came in a matching set of two (yours in your own favourite colour, currently on the wrist of the hand you’re using to guide Jungkook’s), cute little macrame braid ones with hearts woven into the design that you had pointed out one day while you were both at the mall and he had bought without any hesitation mostly as a joke but resulted in both of you wearing them on a daily basis.

Now, all he can do is continue watching you with bated breath as you guide his hand right where you both want him. He comes to cup the underside of one of your breasts, your hand over his pressing his fingers tighter together until you can feel some sort of pleasant pressure. And, just like that, something feral and needy seems to snap within him. His hand slithers from your grasp if only so he can flick his thumb across your nipple, mesmerized by the softness of it. He’s only ever seen you naked once before and it was fleeting. You were both drunk, skinny dipping in a lake with a handful of other friends, but it had been too dark to notice much else. But now? Now, he can see all of you and the sight strikes a chord right down to his dick.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” Jungkook groans.

“Koo.” The cute little nickname you had given him sounds dirty now as it slips from your lips in a moan. “Too sentimental.”

But Jungkook isn’t listening because you really, really, really are so beautiful. He bows his head to your chest, catching one of your nipples in his mouth. He murmurs something against your chest that sounds akin to, “We can take things slow.”

“Slow…” Your head is spinning, but it’s a delightful sensation. Something hard pokes against your ass now, and the adrenaline only seems to build within you. It’s odd how everything feels so foreign ━ exploring his body and these newfound feelings like the uncharted territory it is ━ yet secure and safe at the same time. As if you know what to do next, where to touch next, how to move, your bodies almost fitting together like pieces to a puzzle. “Y-Yeah, I like that. Can I move?”

“Fuck, yes, please,” he growls. He’s much too busy nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin on your chest, teeth tugging at your nipple.

You hurry to obey, giving a small experimental swivel of your hips that almost immediately has the both of your inhaling a sharp breath of air. His dick strains against his sweatpants, the material doing very little in protecting him against you. Your core throbs as you rub yourself on him.

“Like this?” You rasp.

“Yeah, just like that.” Jungkook’s head rolls back onto the couch, his eyes squeezing shut and his blonde hair spilling into his eyes. He clenches his jaw, the nerves fluttering in the corner, as pure euphoria riddles his features. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anything so sexy. “Fuck, we probably shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Yeah,” You agree, breathless. “Do you wanna stop?”

“No. Do you?”

“No.”

“Thank god.” The sigh of relief that emits from Jungkook startles even him but, in the heat of the moment, he doesn’t register how any of this could be a mistake. “Ah, shit━ Faster━”

“Mmm, Koo━” You whimper as you quicken your pace, the vulgar harbored thought of his dick in you thrilling you to no end.

“Fuuck, I’ve never heard you sound like this before. So needy, so desperate,” Jungkook grunts, his fingers digging into your hips. And it’s all because of him, the way you’re feeling. He’s never wanted to hurry to please you faster, itching to tear you apart if he’ll get to hear those noises from you again and again. “I━”

He’s gonna cum, and he’s not even in your pussy. What’s gotten into him?  

He presses you a little harsher against his dick, sitting up straighter so that his chest is pressed flush against yours. He leans forward, lips chasing after yours, before you pull back just enough sluggishly to press your finger to his mouth.

“Uh uh. No kissing,” You rasp.

The words process in Jungkook’s head, but the weight of them don’t seem to linger in his daze. He’s far too overwhelmed by you and the way you’re making him feel to even begin to try to decipher why you avoid his mouth and so, for now, he doesn’t care. Instead, he buries his face in the crook of your neck, nose nuzzling against your throat. You clutch at his hair, tugging at the roots tight enough for him to moan.

“Nnngh, Jungkook━” You whine. “I’m gonna━ Oh, fuck, Koo━”

And then you’re unravelling, right in his very arms. He holds you close as you tremble and shake, rutting your hips sloppily against his to ride out your high, and Jungkook thinks he can definitely get used to this. The familiar burn forms in his stomach and, without even thinking of it, he comes in the confinements of his pants.

But in the heat of the moment, he doesn’t notice quite a lot of things. Neither do you.

So, maybe you could both find a hundred and one reasons why having sex with your best friend would surely cross some lines, but the thing with you and Jungkook (and what would eventually blossom into a hubristic relationship of sorts) is that it wasn’t just sex. You would always be comfortable around him, as he would be with you. And nothing could ever possibly get weird between the two of you ━ not when you had both made a promise to each other that it wouldn’t get in the way of your friendship.

Because ━ while, yeah, he’s hot and suffers from fuckboy tendencies from time-to-time and, aside from random late night hookups ━ he was still the same boy that would drag you out at three in the morning to drive to the next city over for a bowl of ramen, who would marathon shows as long as One Piece or Game of Thrones with you, watching as much as you can in one all-nighter; who would come to your dorm, no matter the time of day, the moment you said you were sick or suffering from cramps, piled high with your favourite snacks; who shared a repertoire of silly inside jokes with you that never made any sense to anyone but the both of you; who insisted you both wear friendship bracelets even in college. He would always be an angel to you, treat you well, because you meant that much to him.

A small thought in the back of Jungkook’s head wonders, above all else, if you were anyone different, would he have even bothered suggesting such a ludicrous idea, drunk or not?

Because he’s positive no one else could make him cum in his pants like a horny prepubescent teen ━ no one except for you.

“If we’re really gonna do this, we need to set some ground rules.”

Admittedly, neither you nor Jungkook knew what would happen after Jungkook’s proposition to you. Maybe you were expecting the two of you to pretend as if nothing had ever happened, or laugh it off as something so inconsequential that neither of you should bother worrying about it. Instead, the very next day, you find that you’re back in Jungkook’s dorm. Only this time, you’re in his bed, and he spent the past half hour sufficiently eating you out.

Now, you’ve had an epiphany in the form of Jungkook’s dick, and that is that it’s big.

You’ve seen it before on occasion ━ like when he streaked nude across campus as a dare or when he needed to use your shower because his apartment was under maintenance and he walked out on you in the living room ━ but this is clearly a very different circumstance. All red, swollen, angry tip wet and glistening with precum. You had to brace yourself as he pushed himself into you, cautiously and slowly, enjoying the way you stretch to fit around him. If you had a drunken excuse the night before for loving the thought of getting off with Jungkook, then you surely don’t have one now. It’s a shameless guilty pleasure, you think, that he’s at least indulging in.

“Rules,” Jungkook scoffs now. “You’re such a nerd. Fuck, you feel so fucking good━ You doing okay?”

More than. Your head lolls back against his pillow, eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head. “Mhm.”

“Want a minute?”

“Maybe.”

Jungkook pauses without any hesitation, gnawing on his lower lip as your walls clench around him so tightly he feels he might fall apart then and there. His hands are on your hips, thumbs rubbing comforting circles against your burning skin. A few deep breaths later and you’re probing Jungkook to move again. His hips rut into yours at a leisure pace, and he marvels for a moment at the way his dick disappears into your pussy, slick and wet with your own arousal. The thought of being in you ━ of finally feeling your walls wrapped around him, all wet and snug ━ is enough to make him bust then and there, but he refrains miraculously.

“Holy fuck,” You groan. “Why are you so big━”

Your voice cuts off into a delightful whimper, walls aching around him. Jungkook snorts, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck. “Nothing sexier than hearing you stroke my ego.”

“Don’t let it get to your already big head,” You retort sluggishly.

“Big head!” he grumbles against your throat, lips brushing faintly against your skin and sending shivers down your spine. “Insult me some more. You know how it gets me going.”

“Oh my god, shut up. Where were we?”

“Rules.”

“Right,” You breathe in a sharp inhale of air as he grinds against your hips. “And rule number one is no kissing. That’s way too intimate.”

Jungkook quirks a brow. “How is kissing more intimate than having my dick in you?”

“It just is.” You refuse to tell him the truth. You poke your fingers at his sides, causing him to jerk against you. “Don’t question it.”

“Fine. Then no sentimental shit in general, like cuddling or pet names,” Jungkook retorts. “And no public displays of affection.”

“Okay,” You nod. “Fuck, Jungkook━”

“God, I love hearing you moan my name,” Jungkook grunts. He watches with fascination the way your face reacts at his every movement. “Too much?”

“No. Kinda hot,” You admit. An abrupt thought pops into your head that has you murmuring hazily, “Oh, and you can’t have sex with me to your sex playlist.”

Jungkook looks appalled. The sex playlist in question is one you’ve heard briefly before, if only because you’ve walked in on Jungkook and his flavour of the month a handful of times one too many times.

“So you’re telling me you don’t want to have the best orgasm of your life to The Weeknd or the Neighbourhood? WAP?” Jungkook asks, wriggling his brows suggestively. “Alanis Morissette?” You have less than half a second to register the 90s pop singer as out of place before Jungkook breaks out into song with a brief rendition of Head over Feet. “You’re my best friend, best friend with benefits━!”

Part of you knows he’s joking, but there’s still a small sliver of you that makes you gawk at him dubiously before dissolving into a fit of unabashed laughter. It rumbles against his chest, vibrates his dick in you. “You’re not serious, are you? That’s not actually in your sex playlist, is it?”

He flashes you a shit-eating grin. “Guess you’ll never know now.”

Another roll of your eyes makes him snicker. He’s gotten used to your snide remarks, but he’ll gladly keep suffering under them if he gets to wipe that taunting smirk off your face each time with the way his dick makes you feel. You cling a little tighter to his shoulders and muse aloud, “So that’s it then?”

“Yeah━” Jungkook knows you’re referring to the rules and your plan, although it’s getting harder to focus on talking as he continues to grind against you. “And nothing has to change between us, even if we stop. We’re still just two best friends.”

“Yup.”

“Who have sex from time to time.”

“Yeah.”

He can’t help himself. He tries again. “Who might kiss.”

“Nope.” You’re smiling even despite the way you shoot him an aggravated stare first.

“We might?”

“No, we definitely won’t.”

Worth a shot, he thinks to himself. At least you really do always keep him in check.

After all, what are best friends for?

So, maybe a part of you thought the shift in your relationship with Jungkook wouldn’t last very long. A week at most, and maybe Hoseok would find you another pointless let down of a blind date to go on and Jungkook would get horny for some other girl ━ but it’s certainly been more than a week now, and you’ve had sex with him more than two times.

A third, and a fourth, if you’re being blatantly honest, and maybe a few more times after that but you don’t really remember what count you’re both on now which should probably be concerning. Days elapse into days, which turn to weeks, then months. Morning, afternoon, and night.

It’s not as if you hadn’t already spent almost every waking moment with Jungkook but now you had a reason to be at his apartment at any and all hours of the day and not solely for movie watching marathons. You’re positive he’s still having his occasional random flings, though you’re fortunate his commitment issues at least force him to go to their homes rather than his for the most part, so you never really have to witness half-naked girls stumbling out of his apartment just as you’re wandering in. He says it has something to do with how his bedroom is his sacred space, though you think it’s more like he wouldn’t want his hook ups discovering his Overwatch figurines or something (because, before Jungkook’s proposition, you’ve walked in on him once and a girl when they were entangled on the couch in his living room).

But you’ve noticed lately you’re getting too comfortable with your arrangement with Jungkook; too comfortable knowing he’ll be there at the end of a long day to greet you, to please you until you’re crying out his name. Sometimes he tells you about the girls he’s texting, or shows you a picture from a hot girl’s Instagram whose D.M.s he’s just slid into. And sometimes you’re left wondering how often he comes straight to you after hooking up with a random girl.

It shouldn’t matter to you, and you swear that it doesn’t.

Maybe you’re just overthinking things. Hoseok certainly seems to think so, but his judgement wasn’t much to go by.

Because, lately, Hoseok has been encouraging you more and more to give Yukhei (the blind date Hoseok had initially set you up with when you found yourself at Jungkook’s) another chance for two reasons: 1) “Yukhei’s a nice boy,” he had cheerfully reminded you, “he’ll treat you well,” and 2) “Stop fucking your best friend. It’s morally wrong.”

There were many things wrong with his statement, from the fact that you didn’t exactly consider standing up a date as “nice” and that you were also still begrudgingly lamenting the way Hoseok had discovered your recent fling with Jungkook (although, you weren’t being very inconspicuous, having shower sex with Jungkook early one morning when you were certain Hoseok would be spending the day at his fiance’s home instead of yours).

But then you meet Yukhei and you realize that, oh crap, he’s cute. And he’s nice.

As it turns out, after bumping into him one day when you’re with Hoseok lounging on the quad of your campus and he comes bounding over to return a textbook Hoseok had lent him for a specific class, Yukhei is so easily charming. He also gives a pretty valid excuse for flaking on your date, proving that he had to present his dissertation, making you clearly aware that he’s cute, nice, and smart. Jungkook, on the other hand, doesn’t see the appeal, yet his curiosity and intrigue seems to get the best of him.

“So that was your blind date?” Jungkook asks after grabbing your attention on the quad and stealing you away from Hoseok and Yukhei. “Yukhei?”

“You know him?”

“Seen him around,” Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly. “I’ve never really talked to him. But him? You’re not telling me you’re actually interested in him, are you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe,” You’re truly just as clueless about your feelings towards Yukhei as Jungkook seems to be. “What’s so wrong about him?”

“He’s━” Jungkook stops. He shakes his head. “Heard he’s got a small dick anyway.”

You shoot the boy a wary look, only to find him grinning deviously at himself. “Maybe he just wants to be friends.”

At this, Jungkook lets out a scoffing sound that borders on disbelieving laughter. “No, I definitely think he wants to have sex with you in his Toyota Camry, Y/N, but what do I know?”

“You’re not jealous, are you?”

“No, why would I be jealous?”

You can’t quite tell if he’s angry or not but, then again, why would he be? As far as either of you are concerned, there’s nothing to be jealous of.

So then why does it feel like he’s simply just telling himself that?

“Are you seriously on your phone right now?”

Jungkook asks this from somewhere behind you a handful of days later, a little peeved but most likely because your jarring 8:00 a.m. alarm had roused the both of you violently awake. In his defense, Jungkook is not a morning person.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You’re currently sprawled out on your hands and knees on his bed, phone still in your grasp after having plucked it off the nightstand in haste. Your clothes are scattered across the floor of his room, remnant clues of the night before when he had beckoned you over after hours, and your body is covered in nothing but hickeys and an unbuttoned blue flannel belonging to Jungkook that you had chucked on last night that does nothing in covering up the swell of your breasts which Jungkook is now currently eyeing. “Am I not giving you enough attention? Were you expecting cuddles or something? Thought that wasn’t in the rules.”

“No,” Jungkook huffs. He runs a hand through his long messy hair in an attempt to fix it; he ultimately gives up taming his locks, instead using the hair tie around his wrist to tie his hair back into a cute yet sexy little ponytail. As he does so, you notice the red friendship bracelet around his wrist and smile smally. “But my dick could use some cuddles. Preferably with your mouth, but it will also gladly accept your hand.”

Jungkook may not be a morning person but, as you’ve come to realize, his dick certainly is.

It’s painfully obvious too, his hardened length straining against the gray sweatpants he had thrown on at some point. And, god, did he have to wear those? It left little to the imagination, the outline of his length teasing you just enough.

“I should get going,” You say. “I have a test coming up. There’s supposed to be a review session today in class, and I don’t want to miss it.”

“Well, you don’t seem like you’re in a rush since you’re still on your phone,” Jungkook points out. “Who are you texting anyway? Yukhei?”

“Anger is an emotion,” You rebuke casually. “So is jealousy.”

Jungkook feigns a look of mock hurt. “I’m not angry or jealous! I’m needy.”

Still, Jungkook reaches out to swiftly pluck your phone from your hands.

“Jungkook━!”

He’s pressed up against your back in an instant, his dick hard against your ass, and he doesn’t move very far even when you twist in your spot in an attempt to grab your phone back. You don’t, and instead you end up on your back with him on his side, propped up on his elbow. You miss when he casts a swift gaze down at your phone, only to see that Yukhei’s chat messages are indeed open, and something seems to gnaw terribly at his gut before he tosses your phone to the side. He’s looking at you now with those big beautiful eyes of his, and you hate it.

“Please?” he beckons. He ruts his hips impatiently but slowly against your leg. He drops his head to bury his face in the crook of your neck, lips dangerously close to brushing against your flesh but he refrains somehow. “M’so hard right now, could probably bust the moment you touch me.”

The thought is tempting, having a helpless Jungkook cumming in your hands. The sight alone has quickly become your favourite thing, helping the frustrated boy get off. Besides, you’re certain you could ask Hoseok for the review notes.

Fuck it, you cave.

You fidget until you’ve pressed him back against the bed and have clambered on top of him, wiggling your way down to fit between his legs. Jungkook is watching you now with a half-asleep expression, though his teeth sink into his lower lip as you pull at his sweatpants until they’re down at his thighs, letting his swollen dick spring free.

“You know━” You hum. You reach out to grab at the base of his cock. “Yukhei wants to hang out, and Hoseok keeps telling me to give it a shot.”

That much is true. Part of you wants to say yes, if only because Yukhei seems promising enough, but the thought alone is enough for you to feel as if you’ve done something horribly wrong to Jungkook.

“Oh.” The word eclipses Jungkook’s mouth in a shallow breath of air. Then, your mouth wraps around the puffy head of his dick, shining with leaking precum that you swallow back, and Jungkook’s reaction is immediate. Head thrown back, face scrunching together, muscles in his toned abdomen flexing as he seizes and grunts aloud. “Oh, fuck━ Well… Are you gonna?”

Jungkook asks the last question with much difficulty, and a part of him thinks it doesn’t all have to do with how you’re making him feel.

“Dunno.” You snort around his dick, and he marvels at how adorable such a lewd action can seem.

You decide to focus on sucking him off because it truly is a sexy sight to see, letting the topic of Yukhei drop. Jungkook certainly doesn’t mind. As you swirl your tongue around his tip and reach up with your free hand to fondle at his balls, his long hair falls into his lashes but he still tries to find you past his wild locks, hooded eyes gazing down at you.  

“Ah, shit━” Jungkook hisses delightfully, hips jerking forward instinctively into your mouth. The faintest hints of a drowsy smirk tug at his lips. “Fuck, yes, just like that.”

Yeah, you think to yourself then, you’re definitely going to ride him later. Screw going to class.

From: Jungkook Sent: 1:05 a.m.

bro i noticed u werent wearing our friendship bracelet while u were giving me head earlier. is everything ok??

You wake in the morning to a single text from Jungkook ━ and one you had not been expecting.

That’s not to say that getting the occasional text message from Jungkook at any and all hours of the day was abnormal, but the extent of his messages sent anywhere past midnight usually always range from something more coherent in the form of “what would u do if i was there rn?” to something exuding typical lazy Jungkook manner with a simple “dtf?” or “send noods lol” to something even more provocatively cryptic such as the eggplant and splashing water (or, as far as Jungkook is concerned, something else entirely) emojis and nothing else, left open for your own interpretation that typically, usually, without a doubt, results in you in his bed and his dick in you. But this seems to be something else entirely.

Unfortunately, Jungkook’s text isn’t the only concern of yours.

Hoseok has spent the better part of the morning giving you a lecture on why having sex with your best friend is bad. He seems so passionate about the topic that you’re certain he would have pulled out a powerpoint at any moment, each slide ending in a picture of Yukhei and why you should maybe try fucking him instead, if you entertained the idea a little longer. Hoseok claims it’s just a harmless date. Yukhei might be a nice boy, but you don’t know how you feel about him. You don’t want to lead him on, and a scary thought points out the fact that maybe, while Yukhei is a nice boy, he isn’t Jungkook.

“I don’t get why you don’t just give Yukhei a chance━” Hoseok is saying now, sat on the couch in your shared apartment with him. “It’s not like you have to marry him. I don’t think one date will hurt━ Aaand, you’re not even listening to me anymore, are you?”

The sheepish look on your face is enough of an answer for him. You’ve been anxiously eyeing your phone and the text Jungkook had sent you last that you’ve yet to respond to, even despite being awake for more than a few hours now.

“Yes, I am listening,” You say dismissively. “Something about how one date won’t hurt, but that’s what you said when Yoongi asked you out, and you’re literally engaged now.”

The glistening metallic ring on Hoseok’s finger is evidence enough. The boy looks down at it as if seeing it for the first time, purses his lips, and then nods in agreement. “Okay, yeah, maybe you’re right. But you’re holding out for Jungkook and for what? He’s hot, yeah, and he’s your best friend, sure, but at the end of the day he’s still just a horny male who wants to stick his dick in anything that moves.”

“Hoseok.” Your grumbling sigh is interrupted by the motion of your phone vibrating against your thigh once more. You peek at the screen fleetingly to see a new text.

From: Jungkook Sent: 2:35 p.m.

send n00ds?

miss ur tits :(

Typical Jungkook.

The text from the night before is all but seemingly forgotten from his mind, and you can’t quite tell if you’re devastated or relieved. You don’t have very long to discern which emotion you’re feeling when Hoseok snatches your phone to look at what’s gotten your attention before exclaiming suddenly, “Aha! See! What did I say?”

“It’s not like that,” You wave Hoseok off. “Jungkook treats me well. He respects me, and I’m comfortable with him.”

“And how long until whatever this is━” He gestures vaguely to your phone as if to point out your relationship with Jungkook, “has to end? Do you really think a pinky promise is going to make sure your friendship with him isn’t totally ruined? I mean, how can you continue being casual friends with someone, see them dating someone else, when they’ve had their dick in you?”

You know it makes sense. Realistically, you either stop sleeping with each other or it potentially develops into something more. But in both circumstances, what were the chances that either of you didn’t get your heart broken? Maybe a part of you was apprehensive of Jungkook finding the “right” person for him one day that has him ending things with you, and while you swear you’d be happy for him, relationships sometimes have a way of distracting people from those already around them. Were you prepared to have someone take him away from you, platonically and whatever it is else that you have with him? Did you really think you could just keep being friends with him, as if nothing ever occurred between you two?

You don’t think Jungkook is bothered worrying about the state of your friendship with him, much less overthinking it like you seem to be. It shouldn’t be a big deal ━ yet why was there still that terrible nagging voice in the back of your mind? Whether or not Hoseok is right, you don’t want to find out. You don’t have feelings for Jungkook anyway.

But your ability to bend at his every will is certainly interesting.

You grab your phone before Hoseok can do any serious damage like unlocking it and responding to Jungkook, clutching it to your chest as you start to cross the living room. The other boy looks at you in bewilderment. “Where are you going now?”

“Where does it look?” You call over your shoulder just before you disappear into the bathroom, and Hoseok deduces all at once that you’re truly a lost cause. “I need to send him a picture of my boobs.”

“He’s totally into you, Y/N.”

Admittedly, there were many mundane but essentially weird things you’ve talked to Jungkook about while having sex. You’ve had many heated debates about everything under the sun from whether or not pineapple on pizza should be illegal to top five betrayals in either movies or animes, to passionate grand philosophical discussions about what exists outside of the universe.

It’s not as if you had been planning on talking about Yukhei to Jungkook when he had invited you over to his apartment late at night after sending your risqué boob picture to him but, like many things in your friendship with Jungkook, it sort of just happened. He had asked you how your day was and you had decided to broach the topic experimentally, though you think deep down you’re doing it on purpose to see if he’d react in any way. What started with you mentioning Hoseok’s adamance and you sort of genuinely asking Jungkook for advice on Yukhei somehow evolved into Jungkook interrogating you on whether or not you’ve hung out with him yet.

“Jungkook. You’re getting off topic,” You admonish him now, as if your own choice of topic is any better when his dick is currently in you.

Jungkook is wedged between your thighs smushed up against your chest, large palms holding you on your ribcage in place beneath him. He’s a comfortable heavy draped over top of you, cock stretching you wide. You can feel his heart hammering against yours and he’s slick with sweat, golden hair clinging to his forehead and in his pretty eyes. You resist the urge to reach out and brush the messy locks away but, again, how would that be any less intimate of an action than what you’re already doing? Another line uncrossed, you suppose.

“How am I off topic?” Jungkook retorts. “You literally just said you can’t tell if he’s into you but he dropped by when you were done class and bought you lunch. You don’t just do that for a girl you don’t care that much about.”

“You buy me lunch, like, every day,” You point out.

“Because you’re my best friend. Of course I care about you,” Jungkook says.

“Ah, Jungkook━” You curse suddenly, grabbing his attention when you shift your weight beneath him. “You’re crushing me. Why’d you stop moving?”

He doesn’t have an answer, if only because he hadn’t even realized he’d stop moving in the first place. Without hesitation, he continues leisurely rutting his hips against yours, grabbing at one of your legs to hook it around his waist. This new angle lets you feel even more of him as he sinks further into you, if that was even still possible, reaching so far into you that you swear it’s like you can feel him in your stomach. Your head lolls back against the pillows, pure euphoria contorting your face so much so to the point that it distracts you entirely from the distant look glazing over Jungkook’s eyes.

“Yukhei definitely wants to bang,” he huffs under his breath.

At once, an exasperated groan fills his ears.

“I can’t believe we’re seriously having this conversation right now,” You roll your eyes, fingers prodding at his sides. “I don’t wanna talk about Yukhei potentially wanting to have sex with me.”

Jungkook’s glad you said it, at least. Though now he’s watching you with hooded eyes as he thrusts into you a little harder, maybe a little intentionally. His indulgent gaze droops to your breasts, admiring the way they bounce beneath him each time his hips make contact with yours. He thinks back earlier in the day to the picture you had sent him which, really, had sparked the mood for the rest of the night.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he whines abruptly. His eyes screw shut and brows furrow together as your walls clench around him. He drops his head to bury his face in your chest, lips momentarily wrapping around one of your nipples as he sucks harshly at the soft flesh. When he speaks next, forehead still resting against your collarbones, his voice is a breathless croak, “Well, do you like him?”

“No,” You moan. “Maybe━ Fuck, Koo━ I don’t know.”

“He’s gonna be at that party Tae’s throwing, isn’t he?” Jungkook tries to focus, but it’s becoming increasingly harder to do so when he’s inching closer and closer to his high. “Shit, ah, Y/N━ Why don’t you try talking to him or something? See how the night goes?”

“He’s nice but I don’t think he’s the one for me,” You admit sheepishly. “I think I’m just gonna end things while I still can, with as little harm as possible.”

“Well, glad that’s settled,” Jungkook mumbles. “Can we please stop talking about Yukhei now?”

You seem to miss the way he clings to you a little tighter, hands flying down to grip at your hips, nails digging crescent moon shapes into your skin. He snaps his hips into yours a little faster this time, your pussy throbbing around him.

“Nngh, Jungkook━”

Your hands fumble to grip at his hair, tugging tightly at the roots and earning a delightful hiss from the boy. Your own mouth drops open in a silent moan and it’s a wonder he doesn’t combust at just how sexy the sight is. He hates how his eyes stay trained on the shape of your lips, the soft plumpness of them. He’s felt them wrapped around his dick plenty of times before but he concedes that it’s probably hardly anywhere near to how it would feel to kiss you. Like actually kiss you, tongue and all.

God, what’d he give just to smother your lips with his.

And, god, he hopes you never find out. He’s positive that thought is far more scandalous alone than anything you’ve ever done together.

You’re writhing beneath him now, hips jutting forward desperately to meet his. “I’m gonna cum, Jungkook━”

“Fuck, yes,” Jungkook growls. “Wanna feel you cream around my cock so bad. Come on, baby━”

In the heat of the moment, you seem to miss the pet name that slurs off his tongue and the sentiment in it. A few more jolting slams of his hips and you’re tumbling over the edge. He has to sputter for air when he feels your pussy wrapping so tightly around him, stuttering in his pace above you if only to watch as you unravel beneath him. Hooded dark eyes glazed over in that perfect fucked out expression he loves so much, teeth biting at your lower lip so hard he wonders if it’ll bruise in the morning.

A sudden thought pops into his head when you’ve settled enough, amongst the blinding pure white of bliss that clouds his thoughts. “Did you get my text by the way? The one I sent last night?”

You gasp for air. The bracelet on your wrist itches at the mention of it, and you’re fortunate you decided to wear it that afternoon before coming to Jungkook’s. “Y-Yeah━”

“Well…?”

“Everything’s fine,” You say this as dismissively as you can. Your core is still vibrating after the harsh impact of your orgasm paired with Jungkook’s swollen length still in you. “I just… I was taking a shower and didn’t want to get it wet. I forgot to put it back on in the morning.”

That’s a lie. You had mostly taken it off as part of an experiment, though it hasn’t answered much. At least Jungkook doesn’t seem to realize that.

“Oh,” Jungkook breathes. A beat of silence passes, before he deadpans cockily, “Wait, you were taking a shower and I wasn’t invited?”

“Oh my god, shut up━” Maybe if he hadn’t just currently driven you to nirvana and back, you’d notice the way the sloppy grin on his face is a simple taunt. But you’re much too distracted to care. Instead, you use your leg that’s still hooked around his waist to gently push and roll him onto his back so that you can straddle his hips. His eyes sparkle mischievously as he watches you waste no time in hurrying to grind against him at an agonizingly steady pace that makes his head spin. “You’re ruining the moment. I’m trying to make you cum.”

A devious cackle rumbles from his chest, albeit a little contented at the same time. Yeah, he definitely likes the sound of that. “Well then, by all means, don’t let me stop you.”

It’s only then that his question comes back into your mind. If he felt the need to ask you again about the bracelet, maybe that meant something after all. At the very least, it means he hadn’t forgotten about it altogether. On the other hand, you wonder how often he had spent thinking, or over-thinking, the issue in the past twenty-four hours, if at all.

Was it wrong to feel some semblance of joy over that potential fact? Probably.

That doesn’t seem to bother you much this time. Not when he’s gazing up at you as if you’re some divine sexy goddess, all his to enjoy. You can’t help yourself; you reach down to brush the sweaty hair from his eyes, perhaps all too gentle of an action for best friends.

And he smiles, maybe a little too softly and maybe a little too ardently if you look close enough.

He smiles.

The thing about your supposed “rules” with your relationship with Jungkook is that there might be a few loose ends that neither you nor Jungkook pay much attention to sometimes.

But that’s neither here nor there.

Mostly, the “no public displays of affection” clause is easily disregardable. It’s typically when you’re too drunk to remember it and a bit needy, craving one another’s touch, but those around you never truly seem to care or even notice because, if you’re lucky, they’re equally as smashed. Sometimes the “no cuddles” clause blurs into a gray area where it’s simply just you and Jungkook post-sex, sprawled out in his bed, not necessarily wrapped up in one another’s arms and cooing sweet nothings to one another but giggling at nothing in particular except one another as you bask in each other’s company and nothing more. You suppose some rules are meant to be broken.

For the most part, Jungkook never seems to question the no kissing rule you were so adamant in insisting. Not until one night in which you’re left wondering where things go so drastically wrong. It starts off as normally as any other day with you and Jungkook can, spent in his apartment binge watching movies. You hadn’t expected that night to switch as suddenly as it does when Jungkook shoots you a text earlier in the day asking if you want to come to his for a night of casual drinking as simply “best friends.” But, as always, one thing seems to lead to another, and you can’t get enough of Jungkook. Maybe it’s in the way he holds you a little tighter, the way he tugs you onto his lap on the sofa in his living room, the way he grips your thighs with a certain type of insatiable desire.

“You know…” he hums. “You drive me insane. In, like, the best way possible.”

Part of you realizes his actions even without him seeming to, and the drunken smile on your face remaining frozen in place, a little dumbfounded. “Jungkook…”

“When I’m with you…” He lifts his stare to look at you, but you have nothing to say. Neither does he. Instead, you’re left grinning at one another and suddenly your face is warm. He leans towards you, his nose nuzzling against the side of your throat. Your hands stay threaded in his hair now, and he swears he feels you secure your grip as if to pull him closer.

You can feel his lips brush faintly against your skin, grazing along your neck to the underside of your jaw. Up, up, up, until━

It’s just as his mouth meets with the corner of yours that you register what he’s doing, even in your clouded state. You turn your head just in time, and he comes to an immediate halt, his lips barely making contact with your cheek instead before he pulls away. He doesn’t move very far but you also don’t push him away just yet. Instead, you shift your head to look at him, still inches apart from him.

“What are you doing?” You ask. He can’t quite tell if you’re appalled or not, an empty expression staring back at him.

“I━ You━” He fumbles over his words, squeezes his eyes shut. He blames it on the alcohol even though his head is swimming with thoughts that seem to only concern you. But then a fierceness seems to stir within him, one that makes his jaw clench as he meets your stunned stare. The question rolls off his tongue without meaning to. “Is this about Yukhei?”

“What?”

“Is that why you weren’t wearing our bracelet the other day?”

The question is so ridiculous, you have to laugh. “What are you going on about?”

But Jungkook doesn’t see what’s so funny and so he tries again, his persistence taking hold. “Is that why you won’t ever let me kiss you?”

You blink. Then, you’re shaking your head at him. Exasperation hangs heavy in your words, shaping in the form of a tired scoff. “You’re not serious.”

You’ve slithered off of his lap before he can even think to stop you ━ but if he had, would you have even stayed? You’re mad, but he doesn’t know why. “No, I wanna know. Because if what we have is already so meaningless, what makes a kiss any different?”

“Jungkook…”

“So I wanna know,” he says, brows unconsciously knitting together. His gaze is searching yours desperately, as if begging for an answer he’ll want to hear. But he knows he’s being an idiot, a small sober part in him makes him realize that. “Humour me. Have you had sex with him yet?”

“Oh my god. I can’t believe that’s what you’re on about.” Suddenly, you’re frowning. Your hardened stare meets the boy’s and the irritation that scrunches at your face makes him wince, but it’s too late for him to take back the damage that he’s done. “Yeah, Jungkook, we fucked in his stupid Toyota that you hate so much and he choked me and I liked it. He did all sorts of dirty things to me. Is that what you want to hear?” The sardonic tone hisses at his ears, but he bites back his words, the sober part in him doing some decent good by shushing him. “No, Jungkook, we didn’t fuck. We haven’t even gone on a date, and I don’t even know if I want to, and you think I’m throwing myself at him.”

“But you wanna.”

“You’re being an idiot,” You admonish. “I’m going home. Talk to me when you’re sober.”

He has just enough time to watch you turn on your heel, march towards his door, when he scrambles to his feet. The weight of his words and actions finally seem to dawn on him, hitting him harshly in the face and in the heart.

“Fuck, wait! Wait━” he gasps.

He chases after you, hand reaching out to press his palm against the door before you can shimmy it open. He’s fortunate when you turn to look at him, though your arms are folded impatiently over your chest.

“You’re right. I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad,” he promises earnestly. Then, he lets out a frustrated groan. “I just… What if we… Shit, what if we stop for right now? Y’know… Hooking up. Whatever this is.”

He gestures vaguely between the two of you with his hands, a wearied look plastering his face.

You hate to admit how his words seem to affect you. They bite at the air, leave you breathless as you gawk at him, but the harsh realization of it all is that you were never his to have and he was never yours. Hoseok had been right when he said these things were bound to come to an end ━ so why did it seem to hurt you so much?

A beat of prolonged silence passes between the two of you. Jungkook runs a hand through his chaotic blonde hair, digging the heel of his palm into his temple as if to rid himself of a headache he’s no doubt sporting. Maybe you’re waiting for a better explanation, but he gives none, and you don’t feel as if you have the right to ask why. He’s not your boyfriend, for god’s sake. It’s not like he’s breaking your heart.

Instead, you take a deep breath and say, “Okay.”

“Okay.” It’s all that he says in return.

So then why does it feel like he is?

When Jungkook had promised that if your fling with him ended you would go back to being untainted best friends, he was apparently lying.

A part of you can’t believe the sheer nerve of him to ghost you in his traditional fuckboy ways, and yet he does. You suppose not entirely, at the very least. Part of it ends up with you being even more vexed by his sudden shift in emotion, and the tangible tension that rises between the two of you should have been dealt with properly, yet neither of you do anything about it, leaving your friendship stagnant and stale for a week. After all, how are you really supposed to go back to “just friends” when you’ve seen his dick one too many times?

You refrain from telling Hoseok, if only so you don’t have to hear him tell you he told you so ━ but you also decide to give Yukhei that one chance, and so you think Hoseok wouldn’t mind so much anyway.

Admittedly, when Yukhei asks to hang with you at Taehyung’s eventual party, you aren’t entirely too keen, but you accept it if only because you heard Jungkook will be there too. For the majority of the night, you don’t see the boy, and you spend the hours cozying up with Yukhei in a conversation that dulls you. As it would appear, it seems to bore Yukhei too, but you only notice that when he starts touching you on your waist and the small of your back. There’s a moment where he leans his head close enough to yours that you realize he’s trying to kiss you, resulting in an awkward encounter in which you push him away, palms on his chest.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. The answer is obvious enough to you, but you don’t think you should tell him for his own dignity. That, instead, all you can imagine is Jungkook in his place. “Should we get out of here?”

“Y/N. Can I talk to you?”

You’re both fortunate yet horrified when you hear Jungkook’s voice. He’s standing just behind you, his own stare devoid of any emotion, though his brows furrow and his jaw clenches in a signature Jungkook manner that you know means he’s pissed. He hardly acknowledges Yukhei, nodding in his general direction. You don’t remember if you leave Yukhei there or if he leaves, or if Jungkook even gives a poor attempt of an excuse to the boy, but you’ve not so much as uttered a single word or let out an exhalation of air, when Jungkook ultimately pulls you off to the side where it’s just you and him once more.

“I’m not sucking your dick in Tae’s grimy bathroom, if that’s what you want,” You scowl once Yukhei is out of earshot. “You’ve lost the privilege that is my mouth.”

“That’s not━” Jungkook shakes his head, exasperated. “That’s not what I want. I just━ I’ll take you home. Please?”

You know the offer is much more than him simply walking you the route to your dorm, which you already know like the back of your hand. Yet, you don’t argue. Truthfully, it’s a relief when Jungkook lugs you out of the party. The entire venture back to your apartment is treacherous, in the way that you’re left sobering up enough to the point that your dizzying thoughts become more coherent. Hoseok is gone for the weekend at least, spending the days with his fiance, so you don’t have to worry about humiliating yourself in front of your roommate when it comes to Jungkook.

You’ve barely made it through your front door when you’re grumbling aloud, “What do you want, Jungkook?”

“I wanna talk,” he says firmly. “About us. About Yukhei.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.” But that’s a lie. Talking to Jungkook, even despite masquerading your annoyance for him, is a blessing in disguise. You’ve missed the idiot, and hearing his voice. “Besides, you told me to give him a chance.”

“And you said you didn’t want to.”

“Maybe I changed my mind.”

“Yeah, you sure seemed like you loved it when he was trying to shove his tongue down your throat,” Jungkook retorts bitterly. “C’mon, Y/N. We both know that’s a lie.”

“You know, you’ve been a real dick lately.”

A sliver of a smirk tugs at Jungkook’s face. “I thought you love dick.”

Clearly, his poor attempt at a joke doesn’t land well with you. “Why do you even care so much if Yukhei and I get together? Stop acting so high and mighty and moral, Jungkook. It’s not like you’re some virgin saint. How many times have I heard you talk about all those girls you’ve fucked? And what was I? Just another notch in your belt this whole time?”

“What?” Jungkook gasps now, as if disbelieving you would ever think such a thing. “No! You’re not just another notch. I would never even think about you that way. And I haven’t had sex with anyone else but you this whole time and I easily could have.”

“Wow! Such a martyr,” You remark dryly. When you speak next, you meet his stare with your own crestfallen gaze. “I just want my best friend back.” Your words hurt him more than you think, but he can’t say he doesn’t deserve it. “You’re the one who tried to kiss me, then suggested we stop whatever it is we’re doing━”

Jungkook flinches. “I know.”

“Then you ignore me for days even though you promised nothing would change━”

“I know,” he says desperately. He closes the distance between the two of you, yearning to reach out and touch you. Instead, he clamps his eyes shut, trying with all his might to focus when the room feels like it’s spinning.

“And then you get mad when Yukhei tries to make a move. It’s like you’re jealous or something!”

“I am.” He can’t take it anymore. The words tumble from his lips in a rush that he hardly bothers to bite back.

“Why?”

“Because━ Because━” He struggles to form his thoughts into words, stumbling over his sentence. Fuck, he’s never like this. Even you can tell. He grits his teeth next. “I lean in to kiss you and you look at me as if I’m out of my mind. I just don’t get it. You don’t want me to kiss you but you let me put my dick in your ass.”

The taut line of your lip quivers as you break. “That was one time and you didn’t even get all the way in!”

“Y/N.” Jungkook hums now. He’s gazing at you a little softly, reaching out to place his hands on your waist. “Look, I know I’ve been an idiot. But lately, when I touch you, I fucking feel so alive and the thought of Yukhei doing anything with you when it isn’t me, who should be with you, makes me want to vomit. And when I wake up in the morning alone, I only want you next to me. And I can’t be the only one feeling that way. If I am, tell me. Right now. Please. I just wanna know why you won’t ever let me kiss you, but you let me do all sorts of things with you. Am I really that repulsive?”

Another moment of silence stifles the room. Jungkook is so close to you now, you can’t help yourself. You reach up to tug at the collar of his shirt, fingers twisting in the material as you lean your forehead out of frustration against his shoulder and he instinctively lets his arms slither around your waist, holding you to him. Then━

“No.”

“What?”

“I only made the rule because I don’t want you to kiss me unless you mean it,” You murmur into his chest. “Like really, really mean it. Like I’m more than just a notch in your belt. Because I want to kiss you so badly, and I’m already in love with you but then I’ll really be in love with you and I don’t want to get my heart broken.”

The anticipation kills you, awaiting his response. You refuse to lift your head, until you hear him grumble, “You’re so fucking stupid.”

“Me?”

The retort is filled with your typical jestering hostility as you finally look at him. But just as you do so, Jungkook’s reaching out to grasp at your face, rough hands all soft and gentle as they cradle your cheeks, guiding you towards him and smoothing his lips over yours until you melt like putty in his hands.

Kissing Jungkook, you deduce at once, is not at all how you imagined it.

It’s everything and more. You’ve felt his mouth on you before but in much different circumstances. Between your legs, on your throat, down past the valley of your breasts ━ and each kiss then had been feral, sloppy, rough. Now, it’s sweet and tender, the feeling of his lips as soft as how he makes your heart feel. And the butterflies━ god, the butterflies.

Impatient hands tug and pull at one another until you’ve both stumbled into your room and onto your bed. He’s clambered over top of you, lips struggling to not part throughout the whole ordeal, until he’s wedged himself between your thighs.

Only then does Jungkook part from you just enough in the next moment, lips brushing against yours, as he whispers ardently, “I mean it.”

Then he’s kissing the corner of your lips down to the underside of your jaw, his mouth grazing along your skin in a feathery touch. His hands help you shed your shirt, and the bra underneath. “I mean it when I kiss you here.”

Then he drops his head to your neck, kissing at the base of your throat, before nipping at it lightly. “And here.”

Your hands come to thread in his hair, tugging at the roots. He burrows his face lastly in your chest, snatching the nipple of one of your breasts between his teeth. “Here…”

You’re so soft and supple beneath his hands, all his to love and explore.

“I want you, all of you,” he mumbles. “Only you.”

“Oh, Koo…”

A pretty moan tumbles from your mouth, and he could nearly cry. He had surely thought you were far past the point of enraged, far past the point of pensive words shaped in a heartfelt apology to bring you back to him. But then hearing you rasp his name ━ the little cute nickname that only you call him ━ makes him so goddamn remorseful.

He smothers your lips with his once more, groaning into your mouth. “I’m such a fucking dick. I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t say that,” You whine.

“I’m sorry,” he laments. He bites at your lower lip, suckling against it. “Please let me make it up to you.”

“You already have.”

“But I’ve been such a shitty friend,” he groans. It’s hard to focus when he’s pressing his hips against yours, the forming bulge in his pants straining against the inside of your thigh. “I should’ve known when to stop. I shouldn’t have even suggested the whole thing in the first place, because then I wouldn’t have messed us all up.”

“Jungkook,” Your grip tightens in his hair. “Jungkook━ I want you so bad. Just wanna be yours.”

“Yeah?” His breath is warm as it fans against your neck. You rub your core eagerly against him, throbbing pussy so close to making contact with his dick.

“Yeah,” You mewl.

“What do you want from me?”

“You. Wanna feel your dick in me, please,” Your fingers tug at the top of his jeans, prodding at the muscles on his abdomen. “In my mouth. Can make you feel better, Koo, I promise. Just wanna be your good girl.”

“Mmm, I like the sound of that.”

He lets you push him until he’s on his back and you’re straddling his hips. Your limbs entangle with his as you shed the rest of your clothes, your own hands wandering up and down the front of his body after he’s tossed his shirt onto the floor. Then he watches as you shimmy your way down his body. You’re so zealous in pleasing him, wrapping your hand around the base of his dick, head angry and red, dribbling pearly beads of precum down the shaft and over the bulging vein that lines it. You run your thumb over the tip and down, spreading the sticky fluid over him. He grunts in response, nearly jolting at your touch, as his head drops back against his shoulders.

“Oh, fuck,” he growls.

You pump him slowly, taking you time as your closed fist glides up and down his length. He shudders each time your hand reaches the base, and becomes so carried away with your leisure teasing that his eyes are screwed shut and misses the way you dip down to kiss at the tip of his cock. His eyes immediately flutter open, a flustered expression painting his face. You lap again at the head, saltiness coating your tongue, and you let out a simpering moan that has him quivering. And when you wrap your mouth entirely around his cock, sinking down along his length, he swears he’s about to fall apart. Your eyes flicker upward to meet him and the moment they lock, so sexy and dark, he has to look away for fear of busting right then and there. He reclines back against the bed once more, his hand flying out to grab at your hair.

“You’re so good to me, baby,” he rasps.

He can feel the curve of your lips against his cock as you suck him off. You do so well, too. Puffing your cheeks out, taking as much of him as you can until it feels as if he’s hitting the back of your throat. Then, you’ll suck at the tip of his cock, tongue swirling rapidly around, as your fist rubs his shaft. It’s a beautiful mix, one that inches him closer and closer to his high, and each time you switch he has to hold it together to not let go so soon. He wants to enjoy it, needs to bask in it. Your pretty mouth doing such sinful things, making him feel as if he were in heaven.

“Shit━” His hips jut forward to meet with your mouth, accidentally hitting the back of your throat without warning. You gag a little, but don’t pull away, and when he apologizes to you hastily, you only moan in response. A thought pops into his head that has him beckon aloud, “Will you be a good girl and let me fuck your mouth? Huh, baby?”

You hum in approval, eyes shimmering with glee.

So, he plants both hands in your hair, grabs at the sides of your head, and as you hollow out your cheeks, he bucks into your mouth. He does it again and again, listening to your crescendoing mewls of delight, forming a sticky mess of drool and cum that spills onto your chin.

“God, you’re so good,” Jungkook grunts. He’s a complete wreck, eyes screwing shut, blonde tresses spilling into his lashes. The muscles in his abdomen twitch with each sharp inhale of air he takes, so mesmerized by the shape of your pretty mouth around his dick, like you were made for him. “Such a good girl, huh?”

He fucks himself into your mouth roughly, frantically. Tears start to prick at your eyes from holding your breath, yet you keep yourself together just a little longer for him, lashes fluttering shut tightly.

“All mine too,” Jungkook hisses. “Wouldn’t let Yukhei do this to you, would you? Fuck, I’m━”

With your head left immobile stuck in his grasp, you hum in disapproval instead. You know he’s close when you start to hear him panting breathily. When he cums, it’s with a fractured whine and in short hot bursts onto your tongue and down your throat. You swallow as much as you can and, when he parts from you with a resonating lewd pop, you wipe away with your knuckles at the rest of his cum leaking out of the corner of your mouth and onto your chin. Dark hooded eyes meet with yours, a mischievous glint captivating them. You crawl over to him, straddling his hips once more, chasing his mouth with yours. Your own lips are so wet, coated in saliva and cum, bruised plump, but yet you’re smiling so innocently past the way he can taste himself on his tongue.

A dazed thought pops into your head that has you murmuring wistfully against him, “Say it again. I like hearing you call me baby.”

“Hmm? What about when I call you my good girl?” Jungkook nips at your lips. He grasps at your waist, flipping you over until you’re on your back beneath him. “You treat me so well, baby; you’re my only girl, you know that.”

A contented sigh sounds from you as you rut your hips in thinning desperation to meet his, so close to rubbing against his dick nestled against his thigh. He licks at his fingers hastily, reaching between the two of you to press against your clit, rubbing leisurely at the soft bundle of nerves. He’s learned how to navigate your body after months of supposed emotionless fucking, but now? Now, he felt as if his heart may just burst through his chest. Every reaction you make to his every touch ━ the needy plea to have him make you his, call you baby ━ makes him want to see more, and more.

“Am I?” You ask hoarsely. He grasps at his dick, guiding his tip to your core, so slick and wet, glistening with your own arousal. As he pushes himself in with a hiss, he watches as you contort beneath him. “Nnngh, Jungkook━”

“Fuuck,” he groans. He sinks into you, spreading your thighs further and further apart, until his hips make contact with yours. His mouth attacks yours with a feverish passion, the rumble of his moans and your whimpers muffling against one another. Then, he remembers to answer your awaiting question, barely audible between the way his tongue lavs at yours. “You are. I’m so fucking in love with you. But I don’t deserve you.”

Your hands tug impatiently at his hair. “Stop saying that.”

“But it’s true,” he hums. He’s quick to start rutting at your hips in a steady yet agonizing pace, dick burrowing into your pussy as your walls throb and shake. He can’t help but watch, mesmerized as always by the way his length slips past your folds and disappears into you. Again, and again, and again, so lewdly destroying your pretty cunt. “Just want Yukhei to touch you all over instead, don’t you?”

“No,” You croak.

You spread your thighs instinctively wider apart, allowing him to sink even further into you until it feels as if he’s hitting you so far in your stomach. Each roll of his hips is punctuated by the crude noise of skin against skin, sending you spiralling.

“Want him to do all sorts of dirty things to you, huh?”

“N-No. Fuck, Jungkook━ Harder, please━”

“That’s what you said,” Jungkook retorts. Still, he listens to your pleas, snapping his hips into yours roughly enough to send you jolting back on the bed. His hands start to roam your body, pinching at your hips, then grasping ferociously at one of your breasts. “Want him to fuck you in his car, right?” His palm feels like fire as it slides up past your collarbones to your throat. “Want him to choke you.”

His hand comes to wrap around the underside of your jaw on your throat, thumb and index finger pressing against the pressure points there. He squeezes, though with barely any force, just enough to feel your rapid pulse beneath his digits in a way that makes you so suddenly hyper aware of everything he’s doing to you. Cock stretching you wide, palm heavy around your throat, mouth folding over yours. So caught up in the overwhelming sensations you’re feeling, you can’t tell if he’s genuinely upset with himself, though you suspect part of him is. You can sense it in the way he clings to you a little tighter, can see it laced within his dazzling pupils.

Jungkook huffs, hair flopping into his eyes as he grits his teeth and ruts his hips faster into you if only to see more of your pretty little reactions. Your jaw unhinges at the feeling, head falling back onto the pillows. “He could probably treat you nicer too.”

You shake your head wildly, fingers digging into the skin on his shoulders. “Just want you, Koo.”

“Still?” he asks. His grip on your neck fastens a little more, pure euphoria riddling all your senses and making you writhe beneath him. “God, you’re such a dumb little slut, aren’t you?”

You nod in your groggy exhaustion, the familiar burn coiling in your stomach, making your toes curl.

Jungkook feels your own high approach. Your walls are clenched so tightly around him, he has to sputter for air. “Could he make you feel like this?”

“No, Koo,” You whine. “Only you.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook growls. “Good girl. Gonna cum around my dick like the good little slut you are?”

Your hips ricochet upwards to meet his, relentless pounding into your core. “Please, please━”

Jungkook quickens his pace until you’ve deteriorated into absolute shambles, whimpering his name after each thrust. You tumble towards your high, cuming around his length as he burrows it into you again and again, and all he can think is mine, mine, mine. As you unravel beneath him, he slides his hand off of your throat and slithers it underneath you and around your waist, hoisting you slightly enough off the bed so that he can reach his own orgasm. He’s a little more frantic now, sloppy and restless as he pummels into you.

“Shit, baby━” he cries out. “Oh, fuck, you’re so good━”

As you come down from your high enough, you somehow manage to murmur drowsily, “Cum in me, Koo. Wanna feel it.”

You grab at his face, pulling him down to catch his lips on yours, and the thought is so tempting he can’t refuse. He gets so lost in your lips, cuming with one final slam of his hips into yours and a chorus of curses mingling with your name in whimpers. He rides out both of your highs with a few half-hearted thrusts, more concerned with kissing you in useless open-mouthed kisses as your own mouth parts with one last weary moan while he fills you up.

When he’s spent, he collapses against your chest, and you collapse onto the bed. It’s quiet long enough for the both of you to calm the shrill beat of your hearts when you feel Jungkook stir, moving to part from you, pulling his dick from your swollen pussy and planting a lingering peck on your cheek. He disappears momentarily but returns a few seconds later, towel in hand which he uses to wipe at your core now leaking with his cum and your heart croons at all his tender touches.

It makes you realize all at once that, god, yes, you’re so in love with your idiot best friend and he’s so in love with you.

“Jungkook.”

He turns to look at you, an adoring smile dancing upon his lips when he sees your own radiant beaming face. You beckon him over and he relents, letting you pull him into your arms. He nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck as he wraps his own arms around you to tug you closer to his side. As your fingers come to rake through his sweaty hair, he cranes his neck to follow your hand and hear him coo against your neck, “That feels so good.”

A sudden thought crosses your mind that has you smirking smally to yourself. “Are we… Are we cuddling? Jungkook, I thought you didn’t like cuddling. Said it was, and I quote, sentimental bullshit.”

“I never liked it because it wasn’t with you. Didn’t wanna waste my time on someone that wasn’t you,” Jungkook hums, matter-of-fact. You can tell he’s a little embarrassed at the way you so casually taunt him about such an obvious fact, though he’s fortunate you can’t see him smiling like a complete fool. “And I wanna do all that sentimental bullshit with only you. Now, shush━” He scolds you playfully. “M’so tired and I just wanna hold you tight.”

“Can’t argue with that.” Your heart leaps in your chest. “Just promise me one thing?”

It’s only then that he lifts his sleepy gaze to find yours, apprehensive of any potentially looming severity in your words. “Anything.”

Instead, all he can find is the way you trace your finger along the details of his face, from his nose, to his cheekbones, down to the freckle under his lip with the hand that sports your friendship bracelet. “In the morning, when we wake up, you’ll still be here to hold me tight. And every other morning after that.”

His smile widens even more, if that was even possible. “Wouldn’t want it any other way. But━”

“But?”

“On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

His eyes sparkle cheekily. “Kiss me.”

So, you do, again and again and again; and Jungkook thinks, yeah, he certainly can get used to this.

It takes you a month to cave in to Jungkook’s incessant pleas to fuck you to his sex playlist. You do it mostly to humour him, though part of you is a little bit intrigued at the thought.

Stowed away in his room, he eats you out to the choruses of sultry The Weeknd and raunchy Ariana Grande songs, fucks you to the likes of the Neighbourhood and Kim Petras while you’re on all fours, and you’re only half-paying attention to the music until you hear it. Admittedly, you almost completely miss it but you blame Jungkook and the way he’s making you currently feel, sprawled out beneath him, chests pressed flush against one another in a sweaty, sticky mess, breathy and glorious moans of your name filling your ears when━

“I had no choice but to hear you. You stated your case time and again━”

The dulcet chime of Alanis Morissette thrums about the room, a complete and utter shift in contrast in the atmosphere that has you immediately pausing.

“Jungkook.” But he knows what you set out to say even before you do, judging by the tone in your voice and the stifling smirk on his face. You gawk at him, biting at your lip to hide your laughter but you fail miserably. “You weren’t joking?”

He shrugs innocently, leaving you just as dumbfounded as you were two seconds ago. Instead, he says, “Gotta do what I promised then, don’t I?”

You quirk a brow. “What was that exactly?”

“Gotta give you the best orgasm of your life.”

“If you can do that to cheesy 90s pop, I’ll have your actual babies, Jungkook.” The effort is endearing and impressive, to say the least.

A roll of your eyes is met with a taunting roll of his hips into yours that wipes the jest off your face immediately. He grins like a madman, uttering a little stupidly, and a little ardently, “Say no more.”

Because, all things considered and joking aside, he wants it with you ━ the dazed daydreamy talk of a future together and kids, friendship bracelets, and cuddles in the morning. Because you mean the world to him and more. Because you’re his best friend, and he’s so madly in love with you.

Because he wants it all with you.

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[deartouya]

“ can i call you tonight? ” [ eijirou kirishima ]

-> summary: fluffy post first date with kirishima based on can i call you tonight? for @itsruiblue playlist collab.

-> pairing: kirishima x gn!reader

-> word count: 835

-> warnings: gn!reader, fluff, kind of vague friends to lovers, mentions of food. i'm not the happiest with this, i struggled getting the mood right with the song, but i tried my best! [previously @/iizuwuku]

THE NIGHT HADN'T LASTED LONG ENOUGH. You could have spent hours talking to him, with him. Soaking in every last drop of attention. Eijirou was like a breath of fresh air after being submerged underwater. His smile lit up the entire room, gold seeping from him into you, spreading throughout your chest.

Not a single boring story poured from his lips, always something beautiful. Though, to be frank, your pretty sure anything could be pretty coming from him, with all his enthusiasm. You weren’t strangers, by any means, and some of the stories you were there for. But seeing his eyes all lit up and watching as he leaned forward across the table. Rambling about something he and Bakubro saw on patrol that made him think of you. You couldn’t keep the grin off your lips if you fist fought it.

He was sheepish when you told him, quieter than normal and barely keeping a smile off his lips. You could tell that the words echoed in his head afterwards, I don’t mind the rambling- I enjoy hearing you talk. You’d known him for years. He was all you could think about for forever and you were determined he know about it. So, you leaned close, hung onto every word. Yearning to hear him talk forever.

You barely noticed when the food arrived, too engrossed in him. You felt like you were falling, hard to do when you were already head over heels, and you loved the feeling. Everything moved so quick, both of you toppling into each other, clinging on. Kirishima poured compliments onto you, seemingly unable to keep himself quiet and still throughout dinner. Running a hand over his thigh, down his neck, across your fingertips.

You matched every word, blending his hair and skin. He listened as you spoke, spine straight and leaned forward, holding his chin gently. You were caught off guard with the focus in his eyes. He’d hum, smile, ask questions. He already knew you, but he still pushed to dig deeper- family, work, friends. He seemed just as embedded in you as you were in him.

And when it ends- you both still cling tight. You pull him into you under the awning- blaming the cloudy skies, smiling against his neck and breathing him in. “I’ll see you tomorrow, pumpkin,” his voice was so tender, lips pressed to your temple. Your fingers hook tighter in the back of his shirt. You linger over each other when you part, watching him blend into the busy streets. 

The smile refuses to leave your lips- pressing into aching cheeks. You feel drunk on elation, unable to restrain the excited twirl you do in the elevator, fists clenched tight to your sides. You’re giddy.

The apartment feels cold without him, without his heat. You already missed him, the ache in your chest was already growing. It hadn’t even been half an hour and you already wished you could see him again. It was everything you could think about- eijirou, eijirou, eijirou. Washing up took longer than usual, every glance in the mirror was him. The curve of his jaw, the shape of his eyes as he smiled, the bright giggle he offered for every compliment. Warmth pools your chest, spreading til you’re buzzing. It’s only once you’ve finally settled, hot cocoa and fluffy blanket in hand, that your phone goes off.

You scramble to find it, nearly flipping the couch and ruffling through coat pockets to find it. 

I’m home.

Your smile returns at the sight of his name.

Good.

I had fun tonight- I can’t wait to see you again.

You don’t answer right away. You can’t. You’re stuck smiling at the screen with a heart that feels like it’s having its best go at escaping your rib cage. You want- need- to hear his voice again.

Can I call you?

Please

Eijirou sounds so different from what you’ve created in your head, so much sweeter. Quiet words laced with sleep. He tells you he can’t fall asleep and you can hear his need to in every word. every time his laugh, low and bright, meets your ears- you can feel him worming further between your ribs. 

“Don’t you have patrol in the morning, pumpkin?”

The words make you groan, throwing yourself back against the couch. You do- but the reminder serves to separate you, “fuck work, I wanna talk to you.”

He laughs again and your frustration slips from your shoulders. Everything about him, especially his joy, takes your breath away. You find yourself hoping that he feels the same, that if he thinks of you and your laugh, he thinks of yours as you think of his.

“You should sleep.”

“Fine- I will,” you speak with a surprising amount of finality, though you don’t hang up. The idea of hanging up hurts more than it should- you’ll see him tomorrow for work. You had plans with him in a few days- he wasn’t going anywhere and neither were you.

“Goodnight, Eij.”

“Goodnight, pretty.”

 

[lonesome--hunter]

Can we see some future/post captivity Ezra if you‘re up for it pls? 🥺👉👈 That man needs some comf and fluff!

Ok idk how fluffy this came out but here ya go lol. This takes place during Ezra's recovery in the future.

CW: nightmares, pstd, implied noncon, implied lady whump

Ezra had a love/hate relationship with rainy days.

When he could stay swaddled in blankets and listen to the rainfall with no obligations or things to do, he loved them. Bonus points if Charlie’s day off matched up with his and they could laze about together, forgetting their cares and just relax in the calmness stormy days brought.

Today was an unadulterated hate.

The cold made everything hurt. Old injuries ache down the bones, especially his legs that were never given proper time to heal correctly. Getting out of bed took him nearly a half hour, his joints and bones cracking so loud he worried it would wake Charlie. It always took her so long to fall asleep every night, she’d stay awake dreading the frequent nightmares that came with slumber. Ezra would often have to wake her in the night to pull her out of ones that were so bad she'd scream and cry.

He was able to get out of bed without waking her and creep into the kitchen to put the cheap coffee pot they found at a 'pay what you want' garage sale on so it would be ready for him when he got out of the shower.

It all went south as soon as he lathered his body and got lost in a flashback to that house, that dreadful house. His legs gave out beneath him, making him crash down hard onto the shower tiles knees first. He kept himself from slipping further by grabbing the metal safety bar on the side but the pain shooting throughout his body from the impact made him double over on his hands and knees.

When Charlie got to him he was curled up in the corner of the wall in shower, letting the water hide the tears of frustration falling down his face.

She took off her clothes and got in behind him with the shower head, carefully rinsing him off while she let him cry. He stopped as soon as Charlie began to wash his hair, her fingers massaging his scalp as she lathers it up. They stay like that until Ezra's ready. Charlie helped him out and dried him off with the blue towel that was still warm from the dryer, he apologized when he had to lean on her for support.

Charlie calls them both out of work. Griff understood what it meant for Ezra to call out so he wasn't upset even though he was most certainly going to be short handed that day. She pushed him back in bed and tucked it in all around him before she squeezed in next to him, the soft cotton of her night gown cooling his skin that was still too hot from the shower.

They held each other while listening to the thunderstorm roll in, the hard rain pelting the skylight in their bathroom.

"I saw him again. Felt him right there with me. Breathing down my neck. Touching me. He was right there." Ezra felt Charlie tighten her embrace as he stared at the rain falling down the windowpane, she trailed light kisses down his neck into the crook.

“It’s just us here, me and you. He’ll never hurt us again.” Ezra’s breath hitched like the dam was about to break but he held them back for Charlie’s sake. He didn’t want to set her off too. These events of theirs tended to come in pairs. The two of them trading off bad days until they get a few weeks of calm again.

They put on a movie for background noise, Wayne’s World, something they’d both seen many times as they cycled through the same five comfort films over and over. They ordered in, neither felt up to cooking and the weather was too nasty to trek in to pick something up.

Far too soon night fell and it was time for bed. Ezra and Charlie spent the night talking about anything they could, coherent thoughts slipping into ramblings, anything to fill the looming silence, anything to stay awake and avoid the bad things that hid behind their eyes in dreams.

Tag List: @special-spicy-chicken @finder-of-rings @simplygrimly @whumpersdelights @galaxywhump @im-just-here-for-the-whump @enteredin2eternity @muddy-swamp-bitch @redstainedsocks @whatgoeswhumpinthenight @thatsthewhump @crowned-avery @downrivergirl914 @unicornscotty ​ @kixngiggles ​ @whumpkinpie ​ @girlsjustwannadrawwhump

[datleggy]

Buddie prompt: aggressively pro-buddie Helena and Ramon Diaz, who are ecstatic when Eddie tells them he's dating, and then utterly befuddled when he introduces Ana. But they decide to bite their tongues about it (Buck, their future son in law, has talked to them about respecting Eddie's decisions, however dumb, after all), until Ana (unwittingly? Innocently? No matter) makes a comment about Buck, and then all bets are off.

Hope this inspires you!

Helena is so relieved that Eddie finally feels comfortable enough to come out to them, that she could cry. She feels awful that it took her so long to realize it. 

It had been on Eddie’s last visit to Texas, when he and his crew had been fighting wildfires, that Ramon--her dense as can be when it comes to matters of the heart husband of all people--had noticed that their son was in love. 

Helena still remembers saying goodbye to her son and his two teammates, remembers Ramon closing the door, waiting exactly all of five seconds before turning to her and saying, “I’m happy for him. He’s so stubborn, I didn’t know if he’d ever let himself get that close to someone again.” 

And Helena had been confused at first, and then even chuckled when Ramon had explained calmly that clearly their son was dating his coworker Buck, until she’d stopped to really give it a moment’s thought. It had hit her all at once, how obvious those two were, and she couldn’t help but wonder how long it had been since they’d started dating and why Eddie hadn’t said anything yet. 

She’s seen the photos on Instagram, Helena thinks, as their plane lands. Buck smiling next to her grandbaby after helping her son build him a skateboard he could safely ride in the park. Buck standing shoulder to shoulder with Eddie behind Tia and Christopher in that Christmas photo at the station. The selfie Eddie posted of him and Buck with the giant cast still on his leg the day of the ceremony for when he was no longer a probationary firefighter with the 118. 

Really, she should’ve figured it out months ago. 

When Eddie had called and told her he’d started dating again and that the next time they came to visit he’d make an introduction Helena had been thrilled! 

Ramon drives them from the airport to their son’s place in their rental and Helena rambles on about how she hopes Buck isn’t too nervous to see them again, now that the cat’s out of the bag. 

When they arrive Eddie greets them at the door with a big hug and ushers his parents inside and Helena is so ready to step into the living room and welcome Buck into the family with open arms, to show her son that there was nothing to be afraid of, that they love him and nothing in the world would change that--

Only to be met with....not Buck? 

“Oh,” Helena stops dead in her tracks and Ramon stands beside her looking about as confused as she feels. “Hello.” she smiles politely enough. 

The woman sitting next to Christopher on the couch stands up and she’s absolutely stunning, her curls bouncing on her shoulders when she stands up to exchange hello’s. “It’s so nice to meet you both. My name is Ana.” 

The rest of the afternoon goes by just fine, but Eddie can tell something is amiss the entire time, though he does a good job of hiding it from Ana, who’s her usual charming self through out lunch. 

She has to take a work call at some point and excuses herself to another room and that’s when Eddie turns to his parents and half-whispers. “Ok, I know those looks. What’s wrong?” 

Helena shakes her head, feigning ignorance. “I don’t know what you mean.” 

Eddie sighs, rolling his eyes. “Seriously, what is it? Ana is perfect. She’s incredibly smart, she’s funny, she’s got a great job, good head on her shoulders, and Christopher loves her--so again, I ask, what’s wrong?” 

Ramon follows his wife’s lead. “Mijo, really, it’s nothing. She’s great. We’re happy for you. I think we’re just a little tired from the flight, that’s all.” 

Eddie narrows his eyes slightly but decides there isn’t much sleuthing that can be done at the moment, so all he can do is take them at their word for now. “Fine, if you say so.” 

They’re in the middle of watching Nemo when Buck's name comes up.

"When the tsunami happened Buck and I sang 'just keep swimming' like Dory." Christopher grins up at his dad and Eddie ruffles the curls on his head playfully. It helps Christopher to be able to openly talk about what he went through that day, the good and the bad.

"You never told me Buck was there that day." Ana comments off handedly.

Eddie nods, "Huh, I thought I mentioned it? Buck took him to the pier that morning."

"It was scary but Buck saved me." Christopher tells his grandma, who reaches across the couch to squeeze his arm. Helena had been horrified to hear what had happened at the time; it still gives her anxiety just thinking about it.

"That's right." She says softly.

"I thought some woman you didn't know carried him to one of the tents, and that's how you two were reunited, no?" Ana asks.

"Yeah, but before that, during the initial impact Buck was with Christopher, he managed to get him up to this firetruck in the middle of everything. It was after he dove back into the water to save someone that a second wave came and swept Christopher right off and they got separated from there." Eddie recalls solemnly.

There had been blood running down the dirty wet bandage on his arm, he'd been soaked to the bone, exhausted and barely standing upright. It wasn't until Christopher had been found that Buck had allowed himself to collapse.

"Oh..." Ana frowns.

Ramon puts a hand over his heart and sighs. "It's a miracle, really."

Ana doesn't mean to say it outloud, but the words comes tumbling out of her mouth without warning. "And you're still friends with him?"

Eddie blinks. "What?"

"I'm sorry, really, it's just--I don't understand." Ana rubs her shoulder self consciously, fully aware of the fact that everyone is looking at her. "Look, Edmundo, you nearly bit my head off when Christopher got a skinned knee under my watch but you're still best friends with the man who lost your son for God only knows how long? It doesn't make any sense to me."

Ana knows how overprotective Eddie is of his son, and in fact, that's one of the reasons she likes him so much; she admires that about him and this? It doesn't track with the man she knows.

Helena wants to open her mouth and she say something in defense of Buck--he's a good man, after all. But she knows better than to get between a couple in an argument, especially given how bias she is towards her future son in law...

Instead, she clears her throat and looks at Christopher, "Honey, how about you help me and Grandpa unpack? I bought a lot of fun things from Texas for you."

Christopher doesn't want to go. His Dad looks upset. Ana looks upset. He wants to stay and help. If Ana met Buck she would understand, Christopher's sure of it. But his grandparents are already leading him down the hall and to the guest room.

Christopher hangs out with his grandparents for a few minutes before fibbing and telling them he needs to use the bathroom. They both offer to help him but he insists that he can do it himself, promising to call out if he needs them.

He sneaks the home phone into the bathroom with him and dials a number he knows by heart at this point. He waits a couple of rings before the call connects.

"Hey, what's up?" Buck's voice comes through the other end. He sounds distracted.

"Bucky? Can you come get me?" He whispers into the phone.

He hears a small commotion and then a stifled 'ow!' and then: "Chris? Are you ok? You're home, right? What's wrong? Where's Eddie?"

"I'm home. I'm ok. But--" there's a knock on the door and it startles Christopher into accidentally hanging up the phone before he can explain the situation in it's entirety.

"It was a tsunami." Eddie sighs, "It wouldn't be fair to hold something like that over his head. And look, you weren't there. You didn't see the look on his face, you don't know how many hours he spent crying out Christopher's name at the top of his lungs, injured and looking nonstop through the rubble for him--"

"Yeah, which he wouldn't have had to do if he hadn't lost him in the first place. It sounds like he was too busy playing hero for strangers to watch your son." Ana folds her arms across her chest. "I don't want to fight. Especially not with your parents here. Honestly, I'm just confused? We don't have to talk about this right now. I can go. I just want to apologize to your parents and Christopher first, before I leave, for," she sighs, embarrassed, "well, for causing a scene. This is not the way I'd pictured meeting your parents."

"You know, if you just met Buck I really think you would--"

A cacophony of knocks at the door make the both of them jump. Ana looks at Eddie. "Were you expecting anyone else?"

"Christopher!? Christopher I'm here, open up!"

Eddie gapes. "...Buck?"

"Did you...call him over?" Ana didn't even see him reach for his phone.

"What? No, of course not." Eddie starts towards the door--the knocking has gotten so boisterous he's pretty sure Buck's about to break down his door--but Ana beats him to it.

At this point Eddie's parents and Christopher are in the hallway wondering what all that racket is.

Ana lets the door swing open, and if she's being entirely honest she's not sure what she's planning on saying to the man who's essentially at the center of her first real argument with her boyfriend, but whatever it was, it goes up in smoke when she takes in the sight of him.

Buck is taller than she'd pictured but that's not what's got her speechless.

He's standing at the doorway, chest heaving, clearly having rushed out of his house, where he was very obviously in the middle of shaving, if the shaving cream still smeared on a third of his face is any indication. He's in sweatpants and a white undershirt that's got little drops of blood on the front from where he must have cut himself while shaving. There's a bright red cut running down the underside of his chin.

"Um." Ana can't do much except stare, wide eyed.

Buck blinks at her, "Uh...Ana?" He suddenly realizes all the people in the house behind her are looking at him in a kind of stupor.

She nods slowly. "Buck?"

Buck nods sheepishly, "Uh... So, I am clearly interrupting something here."

"You came!" Christopher moves past all of the adults in the corridor and throws himself at Buck's legs.

Buck lifts the kid up easily enough, crutches and all, "Yeah, about that," he gently pinches his cheek, eliciting a giggle out of Christopher, "What was that phone call all about? You nearly gave me a heart attack, bud."

Eddie groans. "Christopher, did you call Buck to come all the way over here in the middle of the day?" He walks over and uses the cuff of his shirt sleeve to wipe away the rest of the shaving cream on the side of Buck's face. The look on his face is fond as he does so. "What did this little menace say to get you over here in such a rush?"

Christopher pouts. "I just told him to come get me. I thought if Miss Ana met my Bucky she'd know how come you're still best friends." He grips at Buck's t shirt tightly. "You can't stop being friends, Dad. I love Buck. He's my friend too."

Buck frowns. "Umm..."

Eddie gives him an apologetic look. "Sorry, it's not--it's complicated. I promise to explain everything later. Right now isn't really a great time--"

Ana interrupts hesitantly. "Actually, now is probably good. I need to get home soon, it's getting pretty late, so I should get going." She turns to Helena and Ramon. "It was very nice to meet you both." She scoohches past Buck and Christopher and practically sprints to where she parked her car, aware of the fact that Eddie is calling out her name and only half a step behind her.

It's not until they're several blocks down the street that she swivels around and he nearly topples into her in his haste. "Ana, please, I don't want you to leave like this. I really didn't call him over." He reaches into his back pocket and shows her his phone. "See?"

Ana takes the phone and presses her lips together thinly. "He called you like twenty times on his way over."

Eddie frowns. His phone must have been on silent. It's no wonder Buck rushed over like he did. "He was just worried about Christopher--"

Ana sighs resignedly. "No, I know. It's obvious, how much your best friend cares about your son. I can see why he's still in your life. And I think I can also see why that means you don't really have any room for me in it..."

Eddie shakes his head. "What? Why would you say that?"

Ana looks him in the eye, intent as can be on reading him. Eddie had smiled so warmly, creating such an unintentionally intimate moment when all he'd done was swipe at the other mans face with his sleeve...

"You don't even know, do you?"

"Know what?"

"I think this is something you and Buck need to sort out yourselves. Goodbye Edmundo."

Eddie closes the door behind him as he steps inside, a little heartbroken and a lot confused.

There's noise coming from the kitchen and so Eddie follows it to the source. Ramon is telling Buck about how to sear the perfect steak by the stove while Helena and Christopher set the table.

"Is everything alright?" Helena asks, when she notices him by the entryway.

Eddie nods, lying when he says. "Yeah, all good Mom."

She gives him a knowing look but keeps her mouth shut. "Honey, take Buck here to your room, let him borrow one of your shirts. And maybe a razor?"

Buck chuckles shyly. "It's fine, really. I should probably get going too--"

Ramon shushes him. "Nonsense. Go, go, get changed and get your butt back into this kitchen. Scoot."

Eddie takes Buck by the shoulders and drags him to his room, where he finds a worn gray Henley for him. "Here."

Buck thanks him before stripping out of his white undershirt and throwing on the clean shirt.

Eddie plops himself down on his bed with a sigh. "Hey, I'm sorry about all this mess. And on your one day off, too."

Buck sits down beside him, bumping their shoulders together. "I don't really know what's going on but, are you doing ok?"

"I don't know," Eddie makes a face. "I think I got broken up with today."

Buck cringes. "Shit, I'm sorry, what happened?"

That's a good question. Eddie ponders that a moment. Ana had said it herself: she understood perfectly why Eddie didn't blame Buck for what happened during the tsunami and she had seen first hand how much Buck cares for Christopher for herself today.

So, why?

"She said that there wasn't any room for her in my life?" Eddie scratches the back of his head. "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this dating stuff anymore."

"Aw, c'mon man," Buck pats him on the back. "You fall off the bike you gotta get right back on." He turns his body all the way around so that he's facing Eddie fully. "Dude, you're a catch. You're a handsome, badass firefighter, you've got the best kid, and hey--you got me." Buck grins toothily.

Eddie rolls his eyes, though he can't help but smile. "So what I'm hearing here is that I'm stuck with you?"

"Oh yeah, for sure." Buck laughs.

Eddie leans back on his arms and looks up at his best friend, pensive. "Promise?"

Buck extends his pinky and wiggles it in front of Eddie, who smiles as he wraps his pinky around Buck's. "Promise."

.

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

It's Delicate: Part II

Summary: Spencer Reid finds himself at a gas station at 2:00 am, thinking he’s only leaving with a cup of crappy coffee. But something taped to the door catches his eye. Spencer leaves the gas station with more than he intended: the chance at a friend, and maybe something more along the way.

Word Count: 3.6 k

Author’s Note: Here's the second part in It's Delicate, my first chapter fic. I've planned out kind of where I see this eventually going! Thank you to anyone who reads, likes, comments, and reblogs. It really means the world to me.

Content Warnings: Expletive language (3 uses), mentions of drug use, sexual innuendo

READ PART I

It's Delicate Masterlist

It's Delicate

Sitting on the plane, Spencer looks out from the little window. For hours, there’s been nothing but corn fields and clouds. It’s eerily peaceful, being there high above the clouds. His whole life Spencer has felt this distance between him and everyone else, but nothing makes that feeling more prominent than being strapped in a glorified metal box 35,000 feet off the Earth’s surface. But the thing is, Spencer does need to be flying above the trees to feel lonely. He can do that with two feet on the ground.

Luke sits across Spencer, the table between them and a deck of playing cards are spread out across its surface. He has to nudge Spencer’s leg from under the table, trying to bring him back to reality as he stares out the window.

“Whatcha thinking,” Luke asks, Spencer has been noticing more and more that Luke is one of the few people that actually listens to him.

Spencer, whose mind is racing too fast to even formulate an articulate thought, attempts to dodge Luke’s question with a noncommittal shrug.

“Reid, these cases are hard for all of us, you gotta know that man,” Luke says, laying down a four of a kind.

Spencer narrows his eyes, shocked that it hasn’t clicked yet for the rest of the team. He cracks his neck, preparing to answer Luke.

“We almost locked up an innocent man, Alvez. I almost sent another man to the same fate as myself. What kind of fucked up message is that?” Spencer says, throwing down the cards on the table. He doesn’t wait for Luke to respond.

“I fold,”

Spencer walks off into the small kitchenette to make a cup of coffee. He doesn’t want to think about his increased reliance on coffee, because he knows it’s a hot cup of coffee or a cold needle of Dilaudid in his veins. Spencer checks his watch, it’s 10:17 pm, maybe too late to find a meeting at a church or rec center somewhere.

He sneaks a peak at his phone, which was still unfortunately on Airplane Mode, he hasn’t even gotten a chance to see if Y/N has responded. He doesn’t know much about her, just as much as she knows about him.

It’s a brave new world for Spencer and he’s knee deep into the unknown.

Spencer can feel Luke’s eyes on him. He just knows that the minute he gets home, a certain tech expert will be ringing him. He knows that it’s Luke’s way of caring, but for someone who’s been alone for so long, having people that actually care is almost drowning.

Walking back to his seat, Spencer hands Luke a coffee. He smiles slightly; it’s the awkward smile that he used to make when intimating police chiefs and idiot cops would look him up and down like he’s a TA. It’s a peace offering for Luke, who despite his tough looking exterior, is one of the kindest people Spencer knows.

“Look, Reid. I’m sorry that we didn’t put it together. It’s just that man that we caught, he’s not like you. He’s not innocent of crimes, he’s just innocent of this crime,” Luke says in an attempt to make Spencer feel a little bit better.

“The thing is Luke, I’m exactly like that man,”

Spencer returns to staring out the window. The cards and the coffee on the table are long ignored for the silence that is found when you’re high above the clouds.

--

Spencer hears Tara and Emily murmur quietly about going out for a round of drinks. Luke accepts, while JJ and Matt decline, eager to get home to their families. Emily looks over at Spencer, her eyes silently scanning him, his body language. Spencer knows that there’s nothing he can hide from Emily, so there’s no use in trying to pretend he’s alright when she can take one look at him and know that nothing is right.

“You guys have fun, I’m going to head home and get some sleep. I plan on visiting my mom tomorrow and mornings are usually better for her,” Spencer says, slinging his go bag around his shoulders and making the trek back to the security to check out.

He walks slowly, enjoying the sound of the crickets chirping as he trudges along. Spencer tries not to think about the man, Richard, who was almost locked up for a crime that he didn’t commit. Spencer is pretty sure that being the person to throw an innocent man in jail is worse than being the innocent man in jail.

Spencer’s phone buzzes loudly, disturbing the silence of his walk. He looks at the phone to see a couple of messages from Y/N. Spencer slides open the lock to his phone and hits the button to read her messages.

Y/N: Spencer...that has a nice ring to it. So tell me a little bit about yourself. Your big three, but as books. Go! 🌞🌙⬆️

Furrowing his brow, Spencer reads the message over again. He does not have a clue what “big three” means, but it seems like some sort of pop culture thing that he’s not skilled in. He wants to text Garcia for a translation, but he’s also not too keen on telling her how he came across Y/N’s number.

Y/N: I assume you’re working, but I'm kind of impatient so I’ll give you mine 🙃 I’m a Little Women sun, an Emma moon, and an In Cold Blood rising.

Y/N: Oh no….I hope my astrology didn’t turn you off

Y/N: Not that I was trying to turn you on

Y/N: omg Y/N please shut the fuck up

Astrology? Spencer isn’t one to judge, but he’s a scientist first and foremost. The idea that there is something written about him in the stars seems like ludicrous. He decided to ignore the other messages, particularly the ones with a little more than slight innuendo.

Spencer: Y/N- I’m sorry I just got out of work. As for my big three, I’m not sure about astrology. I don’t particularly believe in pseudoscience. But those are good choices. In Cold Blood is an excellent choice. Capote spent years researching the case. In fact his prose and technique inspired the entire “Nonfiction novel” genre. The world of journalism and true crime would not be where it is without Capote’s work.

Y/N: Oh my god. You are a total nerd. 🙀

That stops Spencer right in his tracks. He’s only a couple of yards away from the Volvo at this point, but somehow it feels a million miles away. You are a total nerd. The words replay in his mind as the small gray bubbles pop up again. Spencer can feel his heart constrict at Y/N’s words. It’s ridiculous, he’s nearly 34 and is getting upset that a stranger called him a nerd. Spencer unlocks his car and tosses his go bag, phone included onto the passenger seat.

After a couple of minutes his phone buzzes again. He’s half tempted to answer it, but the way his heart seems to beat faster tells him to ignore it.

Y/N: I fucking love it and I think you’ll love this too

Spencer’s entire demeanor changes as he reads the message. He’s always had difficulties reading emotion in writing, especially when he can’t analyze the handwriting. Sometimes, it’s even harder to judge inflection during conversations. Maybe that is why Spencer has spent all this time studying people, studying the way that their minds work. Before he can get too lost in his thoughts, another message pops up.

Y/N: Meet Capote and Second Cat

Y/N: They are the loves of my life

Spencer: They are very...distinguished looking. Capote is an excellent name choice then. Second Cat is also quite catchy.

Spencer hesitates before sending the message, he notices that Y/N uses what Garcia calls “emojis” quite frequently. He assumes that it’s some sort of “texting lingo” that expresses emotion in small graphics. Great, he thinks. He already has a difficult time deciphering Y/N’s cryptic wording and now he’s got to analyze these emojis.

Maybe he should profile her. He re-reads the message and settles on a “😄” because he figures that he can’t go wrong with offering Y/N a smile.

Spencer: I don’t have a cat, but when I was a kid I always wanted one, they’re quite good companions for those that live several different kinds of lifestyles. From active to sedentary, they are adaptable and independent. Honestly they are the perfect pet.

Y/N: Is this your way of telling you’re a crazy cat man? 😜 🙀

Spencer, still sitting in his car that’s parked in the parking lot, chuckles at Y/N’s response to his message. Maybe it’s just easier to ignore his rambling when it’s done through 1s and 0s and there isn’t a face to the words.

Spencer: I’m actually more of a fish guy

Y/N: Like a “I-like-to-go-fishing-and-post-picture-of-myself-kissing-my-catch-on-Tinder” kind of fish guy or...I can’t think of any other kind of fish men

Spencer, not totally understanding the obvious joke that Y/N is trying to make, settles on something that he hasn’t really ever tried: being himself.

Spencer: Not quite sure what a Tinder is, but I think fishing is terrifying and kissing a fish is something out of nightmares. But his name is Leo

Y/N: DiCaprio?

Spencer: Uhh, Tolstoy

Y/N: Good😉 ⚔️🕊️ 🇷🇺

Spencer glances at his clock on the control panel, it tells him that he’s been messaging with Y/N back and forth for nearly 22 minutes. He nearly forgot how tired he was.

Spencer: Y/N- I’m so sorry but, I just got to my car to drive home from work. I’ll text you tomorrow morning about the book club, maybe we can figure out some things.

Y/N: OMG Spencer!! you should have told me. I’ve been talking ur ear off. sleep well and yes please tomorrow we can talk about the book club

Y/N: Good night, Book Buddy 😴

Spencer wants to respond to Y/N, but he doesn’t know what to say. She seems to text so easily, and judging by that, she must be around Spencer’s age or a little bit younger. Besides JJ and Penelope, Spencer has never had a friend close to his age. It’s a strange new territory for him and he’s walking in head first into No Man’s Land.

He starts his Volvo, the check engine still lights but, reminding him once again to go get it fixed. Driving away from the parking lot, Spencer hands over his ID to Gina, the security guard. She checks his ID and gives him a tired smile. Spencer, as he drives home to his apartment, thinking about what books he and Y/N will read together. He wonders what kind of books are her favorite, if they have any authors that they can obsess over together, or if what she thinks a poet’s prose is.

The summer air rushing in through the window is nowhere as warm and as comforting as thought of Spencer finally having a friend that isn’t able to read the scars of his past in the text bubbles that pop up on her screen.

--

When Spencer opens his eyes for the first time that morning, he isn’t sure where he is. Sometimes, before he can stop his thoughts from travelling there, Spencer thinks he’s still in jail. He hates the feeling of terror that rushes over him but he hates the idea of being vulnerable a little bit more. But the softness of his pillows and the coolness of his cotton sheets remind him that he’s not sleeping on a hard cot with only a layer of fabric over his body. The light streams in through the half closed blinds, and Spencer judges by how brightly the sun shines in, it must be around 9:45 am.

He supposes that he prefers the way the sun’s rays paint horizontal bars across his face more than the vertical bars that cast gray shadows over his cell at Milburn Penitentiary.

It’s a day off from work, so Spencer didn’t set an alarm, instead allowing his mind and his body to catch up on some much needed rest. The nightmares have been getting better, but his dreams are still haunted by the way that he hardly recognizes himself anymore. Deciding that it will be a day spent in pajamas, Spencer goes to his bookshelf in his bedroom to pick out a couple of novels to read while he drinks his morning coffee and defrosts some of Luke’s strawberry pastries.

Before heading out of his room, Spencer stops himself in the doorway. He replays the events of last night. He declined to go out with the rest of the team, while he walked to his car he thought about the crickets telling the temperature, and he read over Y/N’s messages.

Y/N.

He promised he’d text her back in the morning about their book club. Last night, she didn’t seem to mind Spencer’s long messages and awkward phrasing. He still doesn’t really know how this Book Buddy thing would work, but since he found Y/N’s number on the flyer, he can only assume that she knows what to do. He leaps on his bed, landing with thud on his belly, to grab his phone that charges on his nightstand.

Spencer settles at his kitchen table, a cup of steaming hot Dark Roast coffee in a Captain Spock mug in one hand and, surprisingly, his phone in the other. He scrolls through the messages from last night, Y/N’s cat and emojis tempt a smile to Spencer’s face.

Not entirely sure how to start the conversation again, Spencer looks around for inspiration until his eyes land on a certain fish tank in the corner of his apartment. He snaps a quick picture of Leo and attaches it to the message.

Spencer: Good Morning from Leo & Spencer

Spencer sets down his phone after a moment when he realizes that Y/N is probably not going to answer him back in a couple of seconds. He takes out a strawberry pastry from his freezer and puts it into the toaster oven on a non-stick baking sheet. His thumbs run across the texture of the book he started on the plane ride after his and Luke’s ill fated poker game. It's a thin book of collected essays on the meaning of life. Camus, to Spencer, is a little pessimistic with his droning on about the meaninglessness of life. Though Spence has seen the absolute worst that humanity has to offer, he still has to believe that there’s a deeper meaning behind it all.

His toaster oven rings, altering him so that his toasted strawberry pastry is cooked. He plates his breakfast and pours himself another cup of coffee- he’ll need it to get through Camus’s section on Absurdism this early in the morning. But the flash of Spencer’s phone screen sends him reaching for his phone. Y/N replied to his message.

Y/N: hi leo!!!

Y/N: and you too Spencer :) Did you get a good night’s sleep. You got back late it seems.

Spencer, taking a bite of the strawberry pastry, ignores the burning sensation in his mouth. He types out a response to Y/N as he washes down the bite with a swing of coffee.

Spencer: I did, thank you. Can you tell me a little bit more about this book buddy thing. From what I gathered from the flyer it’s like a little book club of our own and we meet at the bookstore?

It doesn’t take long for Y/N to respond. The little gray dots pop up almost immediately after Spencer’s message is delivered.

Y/N: That’s about right! Is it okay if I call you? Kinda easier to talk that way 🤷‍♀️

Spencer reads over the message a couple of times. He doesn’t really like to talk on the phone and only does it out of necessity. He’s pretty sure that his voice is grating and his vocal fry is quite irritating. Yet, he finds himself replying “yes” to Y/N. Soon enough, his phone buzzes in his hand and Spencer has to remind himself how to pick up a call.

“Spencer? Um, this is Spencer Reid, right?” the voice says. It’s a woman’s voice and he can only assume that it’s Y/N, considering it is her phone number calling him.

“Y/N, uh hi. This is Dr. Spencer- I mean this is Spencer,” he says, nearly forgetting that Y/N doesn’t know him as Dr. Reid, but as just Spencer. It’s been a long time since someone has known him as Spencer.

“Oh great! It’s wonderful to finally have a voice to your name. So about these buddy reads. You seem to have a good grasp of what they are,” Y/N’s voice trails off a little bit at the end and Spencer finds it natural to fill in the silence.

“Yes, the flyer was quite informative. But I was wondering, do we read the same books or do we read different books?” Spencer asks, trying to restrain himself from scaring Y/N off. But something about her made him think that she didn’t scare easily.

Y/N chuckles lightly in the speaker of her phone, “that’s a good question, uh, I was actually going to ask you what you would rather. We can read the same books, or if it’s okay with you we can choose what the other would read for that week,”

“Oh really?” Spencer says, very much aware how his voice rises a couple of octaves. He can’t trust himself to hold back on rambling over the phone Y/N, so he resorts to using his strained, brittle voice that’s full of hesitation and restraint.

“That’s the plan, so whatcha thinking, Spencer,” Y/N says playfully, like she can sense that phone conversations maybe not make him feel at ease. There’s something so natural and silvery about her voice; it reminds Spencer of an audiobook reader. While he’s not too keen on audiobooks, he’s sure that he’d listen to anything she reads or has to say.

“Um, I think it sounds interesting to pick out books for each other. I tend to gravitate towards more technical books or even books that aren’t in English so, uh, I think it would be interesting to get out of my comfort zone,” Spencer says, cringing internally at using the word “interesting” twice in a couple of sentences.

“Well, as long as you don’t pick out something in physics or anything by Ayn Rand then I’d say we’re good,” Y/N says. Spencer thinks it’s a joke, but he’s not too sure how to respond.

“Will you still be my Book Buddy if I read 1 out of 2 of those?” Spencer asks, hoping she’d get that he is trying to continue the joke.

“Oh no Spencer please don’t tell me you’re an Ayn Rand fanboy,” she says, and by the airy way she laughs, Spencer ventures to guess his joke landed successfully.

“So,” Spencer starts, he never has made plans with people outside of his team, and on top of that, there’s something about Y/N’s quickness that makes him a little nervous to meet her.

“I’m talking your ear off, aren’t I? Please Spencer, if you’re going to be my Book Buddy, you’re going to have to get used to me talking a lot, especially you pick out good books, which, I already have a feeling you’re going to be favorite Book Buddy,”

For once in his life, Spencer doesn’t really know how to respond. He lets out something in between a strangled laughter and a noncommittal chuckle.

“So,” Y/N says, mirroring Spencer’s earlier words, “so are you free tonight, I can meet you at the bookstore..”

Y/N’s voice trails off and Spencer leaps to finish her sentences. It doesn’t feel like his interjecting or interrupting, but like he’s snapping a puzzle piece together.

“Does 7 work?” “7 is great, Spencer. It’s a date,”

Those three little words send Spencer’s eyes flying wide open. He scrambles to come up with answer to louden the silence that falls, but he swears he can hear a string of quiet curses before Y/N manages to squeak out a small “goodbye,”

Y/N’s last words play back in Spencer’s ears. He scolds himself for being so weird and awkward that the very idea of going on a date with him would send Y/N in a tizzy. It’s not a date, because Spencer can’t think about it being a date. It’s not a date because of the looming photo above his mantle that freezes his future in the past. It’s not a date because of the nightmare of vertical bars that haunt his dreams

It’s not a date. It’s so not a date because Spencer would call Luke to come over to help him if it was.

“Hey Luke,” Spencer says, trying to control the nervous waves in his voice, “no man, I’m fine, it’s uh, easier if you just come over. I’m fine, really,”

Y/N: I really hope you're not an Ayn Rand fanboy 😉

It’s so not a date.

--THANK YOU FOR READING--

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[aster-aspera]

Hands in the stars

Relationships: analoceit

Warnings: none, a lot of fluff I guess

Virgil nearly jumped off the bed when the door slammed open, his anxiety skyrocketing. Janus looked up from their nap, glaring at the person who had barged in. That expression softened the moment they saw who it was. 

“Hello darling,” they murmured, still hazy from sleep. 

Virgil smiled at his boyfriend, who was bouncing in his heels, eyes alight with excitement. “What happened to make you so happy?” he asked, reaching out his hands to Logan as a clear sign he should join their midday nap cuddle.

Logan gave them both a clear disapproving look at the fact that they were sleeping in the middle of the day. Something about disrupting their circadian rhythm and how they wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. Virgil rolled his eyes at the nonverbal lecture.

Logan settled on the bed anyways, because as much as he loved proper circadian rhythms, he loved his partners even more. 

“So what happened?” Janus prompted, lifting their head slightly from where it was pillowed on Virgil’s stomach.

They released a list with astronomy signs, now I have a lot more words to discuss it with! Logan signed excitedly, absolutely beaming. Janus smiled at the picture, their normally unflappable boyfriend giddy as a child over this list.

Virgil sat up, dislodging Janus from their comfortable position. They whined at that and Virgil smacked them lightly on the forehead. “Stop complaining, you get to cuddle me all the time,” he said. Janus did not stop pouting but did focus back on Logan, who looked impatient to continue his rant.

Once he was satisfied he had the attention of both his partners, he launched into explaining the new signs, showing each one and explaining precisely what they meant, with the help of his phone and his whiteboard to explain the more complicated theories and words. Because of course Logan didn’t just leave it at explaining each word, he had to explain the different theories and phenomena behind them. Janus loved him all the more for it. 

Virgil was missing about half of Logan’s explanation. In his defence, he had gotten about four hours of sleep last night and had been rudely awoken from his nap, so pardon him for not following along perfectly. It didn’t really matter, because Janus was interjecting every so often with a question, not quite as interested in space as Logan was, but eager to learn more about any of their boyfriends’ interests.

Virgil smiled as he leaned into Janus’s side, content to just watch Logan while he rambled on, his excitement lighting up the room. Virgil had spent so many years trying to find a place to fit in, and it seemed he had finally found a place to call home. He couldn’t imagine a place he would rather be than here, in his partners arms, post nap drowsiness making his body heavy and his boyfriend’s eyes sparkling like the stars he described so passionately could be found right there.

Virgil was jolted out of his dreaming by Logan snapping his fingers in front of his face. 

Were you even paying attention? He asked with a fond smile.

Virgil stared at him for a moment too long, trying to make his foggy brain actually do something. 

Sorry, didn’t sleep much, He signed back, because sometimes words were more trouble than they were worth.

Logan gave him another of his trademark disapproving gazes.

“There was a reason we were napping at noon, you know, so you can’t lecture us about that,” Janus piped in.

And you didn’t sleep well either or what? Logan asked with a raised eyebrow.

“You know our dear Virgil can’t sleep if someone isn’t cuddling him,” Janus defended themself.

Logan rolled his eyes fondly, settling into bed next to his partners now that he was done with his explanation and didn’t need as much room to sign anymore.

Janus wrapped their arm around him, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Love you, Virgil signed, not wanting to disturb the quiet that had settled around them. 

Love you too, my stars, Logan signed back.

Janus didn’t say anything, arms too full of their boyfriends to move. So they settled for pressing kisses to their hair and pulling them close.

Virgil yawned and closed his eyes. He really should get more sleep.

Looks like our storm cloud might benefit from a nap, Logan mused.

Janus closed their eyes, dropping their head on Logan’s shoulder as Virgil melted into their shoulder.

Logan looked down at them both with a smile, figuring he could lecture them on sleeping properly another time. He could go for a nap too right now.

[dinitride-art]

So this is the difference between my first byler and my most recent one. And like yeah, the first ones a combination of traditional (the inking) and digital (and done before I think I was even finished watching vol.1) and the most recent one is all digital. And there is nearly five months between them. (And the near completion of three art courses)

But still. Even just looking at Mike’s hand on Will’s back. And then at Mike taking Will’s hand in his own. I’ve figured some shit out. I still think the first one is a fucking banger though, I mean I spent at least like nine or ten hours just doing the inking. A great pen was lost for the sake of this artwork lol.

But I was just going through my art tag, because it’s like a catalogue of my own improvement. And the more time between me drawing a picture, the less I’m attached to it. So I can look at them objectively and see the entirety of it instead of little details. Like with the rain one I’m still stuck on Will’s eye being a little too big, and the highlight on his sweater annoying me, and the rain bouncing off of them is slightly inaccurate- but with the lighting it’s whatever. It’s not my problem anymore. I was different when I made it and I can’t go back and fix it. So now it’s just cool art that I can look at.

I just think it’s cool to see how things change. Also I got over thinking my art was not enough like a year and a half ago, and I’m never going back. Liking what I make is way more fun. Because I can still see the stuff in the rain picture that I would change, but I can also look at it and think it’s pretty cool too. Because Mike and Will’s sleeves look like they’re fabric, and the rain dripping off them, and the background, and their breath in the air, and the speech (bubble?) are all things I like.

Idk what this post is, I’m just rambling really. But I really do just think it’s cool