#I strive to do better
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Staring Role
Claude Delecroix - He/Him - 45(??) - Antivan Crows - ??? Optimistic -Eccentric - Secure - Theatrical - Reflective - Loyal
Everyone wears a mask, to hide their hurt, their wants, and their fears. The mask that you believe gives you additional autonomy can also strip you of your power, though you may not realise this, at first. I am a man of many faces, which is your favourite? Do you know which one is real? Will I ever show you, I wonder...? A mask torn from the face leaves an ugly scar, which cannot be removed. You cannot undo that kind of damage when you forcibly take. The other must remove the mask willingly, must want to be known, seen. Will you gain my trust? Will I show you what’s beneath the mask?-
“Claude-! Get your pointy nose out of that perverted little diary of yours and help us!” The Antivan swore as he took down another Qunari soldier -(??) muttering under his breath as he continued to dodge and evade. “…fucking Orlesian- why did I get paired with this guy, is this my divine punishment? I make one mistake…”
Claude gasps with dramatic offence, snapping the little book closed and stashing in the breast pocket of his coat. He grips his staff that was resting in the crook of his elbow with his left hand and lifts it, conveniently hitting one of the attackers in the head just behind him.
“Oh! mon dieux!” He jumps to the side slamming his staff down to create a thunderous wave to knock the assaulter back before they can regain their balance.
A single bead of sweat drips down the side of his face below the mask he wore.
That was... too close for comfort.
Now, you may ask, how did an Orlesian Theatre actor, a mage, end up as a Crow?
Well, I would also like to know.
“And scene!” The last of the qunari falls to the ground in a smouldering heap.
“Well, all things considered, that rehearsal was not too bad- ah!” A blade pressed to Claude's neck halts his speech, lips pressing into a fine line.
“You! Almost got us both killed! What do you NOT understand about stealth mission? We were to get in, and out, swiftly. Not barge in through the front doors screaming “Hello we're here to kill you!””
Claude's mouth twitches up, he gently places his hand over Marzio’s wrist, the tip of their blade digging a little deeper into the scarred flesh on the left side of his neck.
“I did not… ‘scream’, I project! And the line was ‘A good evening to you all! We're here to find a Monsieur- well, whatever his name is, could someone please direct us?’ I did not say anything about killing-” The made motions idly with his free hand as he speaks.
“You think you can just waltz in, dressed like that?! And they'll just happily take you straight to him? You're not even in a disguise, you don't need to say anything for it to scream ‘I'm here to kill you!’-”
Claude can sense the man's rising panic, of course it's understandable, this mission was to be a way for him to redeem himself, prove his usefulness to the Crows.
The taller mage, seemingly not too worried about the knife at his neck, takes a look around.
“Waltz? Well there is no music, but if you want to dance… we certainly can, my friend.” The mage turns his head back to his fellow crow, his thumb applying pressure to his wrist, he successfully catches them off guard, their grip on the knife loosening. Of course, a Crow has many hidden blades, but, this Crow has only the one left. Claude knows, he was counting.
You see behind the masks and theatrics, is a highly observant man, he knows well, everyone's places, queues, the stage direction, costumes… of course he made sure to count how many hidden blades __ stashed away on his person.
“Claude-! What do you think you're doing?” The crow flusters when the mage rests his other hand on his lower back.
“Oh, you did not want to dance, mon chéri?” Claude applies more pressure and the knife drops with a clatter to the ground.
“If you do not know the steps, I can teach you, bébé chien!”
“Claude! We don't have time for- your theatrics!” The man's voice is a little higher now, urgent, his eyes flicker to the charred corpse near their feet, he does not really want to have to go toe to toe with a mage, unarmed. Especially not here.
Claude doesn't miss his tells, that's… not good. The mage contemplates how this man made it this far, his acting is atrocious, he can see why he was given his mission now, oh, a pity.
Claude pulls the man closer, takes his hand. “You know, a lot of people find this glance to be quite scandalous…”
“We really don't-”
“You know, it was not your fault, yes?”
“What?”
Claude sighs, before side stepping and pulling Marzio into a slow waltz. The man follows along, out of fear? or perhaps he's simply going to grab one of his discarded blades from one of the corpses as they pass and do away with the mage.
“It was not your fault, you would not have known they used a decoy, a body double, a very good one too, the likeness was quite startelling.”
“How… Do you know about that?”
“Oh that is not important, chéri!”
“Now, you have a few options to choose from, on how the story here ends…”
“Un, you attempt to take my life, who knows, maybe you succeed, but alors how do you explain that one? Especially if you return empty handed…”
“Deux, this one, I am not fond of, I extinguish your flame… and report back that, unfortunately, you were not cut out for this after all, bébé chien!”
“Trois, I use my impeccable skills, set the stage, giving you the starring role! Put you back in the, how would you say it, good books.”
A myriad of emotions cross the man's face as he takes in the older mages words, why does he know about that mission? Clarity crosses his features and dread sets in his stomach, they really sent this guy to test his usefulness to the Crows? That's beyond embarrassing to him.
“What do you mean, starring role?”
“Oh excellant! I did hope you would pick that option, mon chéri.”
“It was so clever of you to stage a distraction, slip away, and collect the letter we needed, I would applaud you were my hands not already…occupied.” Claude squeezes his hand and pulls him just that little bit closer, scandalous indeed. The mage let's out an airy chuckle.
“Why would you do that for me..?”
Of course he is suspicious.
“Oh, simply payment for indulging me with a dance!” He dips the man and pulls him back up close to his ear now his voice soft and low. “But if you're amenable you can thank me later, bébé chien!” He laughs when the man pulls his face away, but Claude can see the colouring of his cheeks and curiously behind his angered face.
“Hah! You are terribly easy to read, mon chéri. If you'd like I can give you a few lessons, we could even make it a little more… exciting.”
“Are you like this with everyone?”
“Ha! No, I just like you. bébé chien!”
“You keep calling me that, what does it mean?”
“Oh! Hm… a puppy.”
“P-puppy??” Oh now he's flushed.
“Oui, you still need training. Now, have you made a decision? The smell of burnt flesh if not one I enjoy, or, are you going to kill me, bébé chien?” Claude releases the hold he has on the man. Eyes never leaving his.
“My guess is you already got what we came here for then…?”
Claude produces the letter from his inner pocket, holding it between two fingers.
“Now I won't ask again, how is this story going to end, chéri?” The mages voice is more firm now, but still holds a playful edge.
The Antivan looks at him for a few more beats, weighing up his options. He takes the letter, pulls one of his blades from a qunari corpse, pauses, then stows the letter in his own pocket, sheathing the blade and turning his back to walk towards the entrance.
“Let's go. Smells awful here.”
Claude chuckles and follows behind, placing a hand on the antivans back he leans over towards him as they walk.
“You should not turn your back on an enemy, you know?”
“Good thing you're not one, then.”
Claude laughs louder and the man winces and screws up his face.
“Oh, I do love the drama of this place! The game was starting to get rather stale, you know?”
“Are you ever quiet?”
“When the performance calls for silence, oui.”
The Antivan shakes his head, but makes no move to pull away from the mage as he contemplates his motives. What does he have to gain from doing this for him? Will he simply betray him when they return? He would rather he killed him now than face whatever punishment he would receive.
“I am serious, you know? If you'd like me to teach you to better control your emotions, school your features, just ask.”
Claude moves his hand away now, putting a more respectable distance between them.
“Or, I can do this for you, then simply leave you to your own devices, I'll watch your folly from the side lines.”
The antivan is once again thrown off by the man's tonal shift, his voice is calm, serious, missing that playful melodic edge to it. Similar to when he told him it wasn't his fault. He also, begrudgingly realises he misses the gentle pressure of the mages hand on his lower back.
“I think I'll reserve my answer until we report back.”
“Oh! He does not trust me! But that's good, maybe I won't have to train you as much as I thought, bébé chien.”
Oh. There he is, back again with that playfully light tone.
“Please don't call me that back at base.”
“Oh? Reserved for private times, hm? Scandalous.”
“Claude…”
“Oh I'm just teasing! If it makes you uncomfortable, I can stop. But I think you like it. Hm?”
The Antivans silence answers for him.
Claude chuckles again as they make the rest of the way back in silence.
If you look closely, you'll notice the ends of the mages hair by the nape of his neck curled slightly, sticking to clammy skin. If you were to remove his mask, you'd pick up on the slight twitch of his lip. If he was not moving his hands so much as he spoke, you would notice the slight tremor in the right.
Yes, Claude was confident in his ability to talk his way through a plethora of situations, but put him in combat? Physical battle in place of a verbal sparring?
He's afraid.
Fights are chaotic. A complex dance that you must be quick to learn and adapt to.
There's no set script in battle.
No rehearsal, it's improv, but mistakes cost lives.
Claude can only keep up this act for so long, words and wit will only get him so far.
Joining the Crows then seemed like a good idea, at the time.
Immerse himself in the tangled web of lies, deception, death. Great writing inspiration!
But he is untimely afraid, when that threat of death is but a whisper away and he has no control when it's time for curtail fall.
“All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts."
But, who is the real Claude now? He's not sure even if he knows anymore. But, he would very much like to meet him again, or perhaps, you will be the one to find out for him?
#my rook#Claude Delacroix#Claude De Riva#I'm a little burnt out to edit this any more so here's what I got for now#rook#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age#datv#dragon age veilguard#datv rook#antivan crows#thisclownsocs#I'M SO SORRY TO FRENCH SPEAKERS I DON'T KNOW FRENCH OTHER THAN WHAT I REMEMBER FROM MY HIGH SCHOOL AND THAT'S NOT A LOT#I'm sweating trying to not make a fool of myself or offend haha...ohu...#I strive to do better#Claude is MEANT to be cringe so
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#im going to give you some advice today i think. you should strive to be uncomfortable at least once a week#not in a distressing way. you should try new things very often#its very nice in my opinion. ive come to enjoy the feeling of being in uncomfortable situations in strange enviorments#you do not truly learn anything if you stay comfortable. its fine to screw up yeah? the world doesnt end due to mistakes#or perceived mistakes for that matter. you should simply strive to try and fail many times without getting upset at yourself for it#because getting upset takes away from your achievements. it is better to start and stop than to never start at all#okay thats your advice today! :} hope you can take something from that hehe#sometimesanequine#equine art#horse art#my art
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHOU!!!
Fluff for the occasion!!! set in 2015; in the current day and age he's turning 25 which is crazy, hope mans nailing adulthood
bonus air kiss to my fellow queers and especially aspecs:
#i turn 25 in exactly one month like hol up!!!!!!!!!!#decided to draw the year 2015 cause i headcanon the further they go in their friendship the closer they will strive to be#so it wouldn't align to have them live in different cities way later#Breathing Room is canon so they bouta go to the same high school#so for a few years post canon shou lives with his mom#who moved back to japan from US for him.#he started going to school and facing Struggles there#evident by a plastered bruise which he didn't wake up with#He's eccentric and confrontational and previously homeschooled and the child of a known criminal so um#safe to say he doesn't make friends in middle school. he's closest with Tome and the esper gang back in Seasoning#thank you to a few fics for introducing me to the beauty of tome and shou friendship yes#He's artistically driven as said in the wikia so he took up guitar and painting clubs#Also i do love the fact he denounced his powers in the series finale#and that's bound to be something that's resolved in some huge way#that i may or may not draw if i have a solid script its currently just a buncha dialogue#mob psycho 100#mp100#mp100 fanart#kageyama ritsu#suzuki shou#ritshou#shouritsu#WHY THE T???? WHY THE T. RISHOU SOUNDS BETTER NO?#rishou#shou suzuki#ritsu kageyama#happy birthday shou
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You know, I've realized the interesting thing about "gay people date people who look just like them!" is that I did that myself but for a specific reason that I think is common in gay spaces
I think when you're gay or queer, your internal sense of what 'is' attractive has to be remapped. It's hard sometimes to signal that you both are attracted to someone in a gay way while also saying that you want to be found attractive. As a young kid, I knew what 'is' attracted ve for a straight guy to do - I generally know how to signal to women that I'm interested in them and also want them to be interested in me. But with other guys? Uncharted territory in many ways because society doesn't teach you what's attractive and how to signal your desires for gay people like they do straight people. When I found this out, I figured that my best option was just to see what I found attractive in guys and then I just emulated that because people are most attracted to people they are more similar to.
In some ways, this has been helpful. I started finding myself more attractive because I was able to use other people as inspiration and I knew that I would be attractive for it because I already found that attractive. It was reassuring to know that I didn't need to second-guess if something was attractive because I was already shown that it is. However, there's this weird feeling of knowing that you can't even be conditioned by society as a whole because they don't even know or care you exist. You're conditioned to understand what 'is' attractive for a man or woman in an opposite-sex relationship. I guess it just reminds me, "hey, you're different!" and that can sometimes bother me just because it gives rise to the anxiety that I won't have a frictionless life.
I'm definitely not saying that this is universal, but looking back on my own experiences, I was very intentional with this. And I don't even think this is 100% right, either, because I also do want to be the more traditionally-masculine person. It's complicated sometimes.
#gay#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#also yes straight people do get incorrect messaging about what the opposite gender likes...#...not a lot of women want a super masc meathead. i'm in plenty of straight spaces and it's not a super common preference...#...but media targeted at men would condition you to think that women FAWN over that and would fight tooth and nail to be with you...#...my observation is not about accuracy but about prevalence and availability...#...when you actually *GET* messaging you have a baseline to work off of...#...i *got* messaging about what i 'should' strive for in a straight relationship. i never got nearly that same messaging about gay ones...#...and i think that difference really influenced how i grew up and interacted with things like societal messaging#because i - in part - have literally experienced a *lack* of messaging from society about something#and when societies will stick their business in everything *but* a certain group of people i think that says something#i feel like the right people will understand what i'm talking about#i'm in gay and straight spaces (for obvious reasons) and the difference is stark#i feel like i have a path to follow when i'm in straight spaces. it's predictable because we're more or less on the same page...#...in gay spaces we are *all* coming from WIDELY different backgrounds and very *very* few of us are on the same page in the same way#if sociology paid better in this country you would have to pry me away from a doctorate in it
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Difference of traditions lmao
Happy Easter!!
#ace attorney#barok van zieks#albert harebrayne#the great ace attorney#tgaa#dgs#my art#benbaro#<—— yeah sure go ahead#yippeee religious Barok!!!#wanted to do more with it. and while this is silly it still counts!!!#I do enjoy the different ways holidays are celebrated#I do love how even if there is religious origin in them#all people of different backgrounds find ways to celebrate and be included#I know some mean religious people think it’s overshadowing its religious origins but I like the sense of community and unity better#which I think we should always strive for#the religious origin isn’t going away. it will always be remembered lmao there are too many churches for it to be forgotten anyways#so happy Easter to everyone and Christ is risen to those who believe in such
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@natsume-ss @marimondart here's your gift for Natsume Secret Santa! I decided to go with the prompt of Natsume seeing the kimono.
#natsume yuujinchou#natsumess2024#natsume takashi#the exorcists are there but they're not really the focus so i won't tag them#i had fun making this! i want to do more watercolor natsuyuu art now...#if you can't tell this is imitating bilibin's style#i love his art and i'm still striving towards a better replication...#also sorry for the wait! i had to wait until after christmas for a scanning place to be open (i don't have a scanner at home)
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trying to change the way i draw johnathan guiltygear sfondi a bit
xrd colors alt
#perry art#doodles#fanart#guilty gear#johnny#even though i mainly draw his strive design i do really really like his xrd design#like imo thats THE best johnny design u cant get any better than that
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"This is devotion; I drench you in sin, and then wipe it all away. I anoint you. I denounce you. Either way, I speak your name."
Quote is by me because I'm pretentious, thanks.
#I'm not super happy with the blood here but I'm getting out of my percieved perfectionist cage#soul eater#maka albarn#soul evans#cw blood#tw blood#there's not enough content of how weird and religious it is to use another person to kill#as a literal tool and weapon#not saying no one has done this but i strive to be the difference i want to see in the world#i wanted green in here but the blue just looks better#will probably redraw in the future#my art#hopefully the au gods strike me and i can do more ad mortem because this is a lot more of their dynamic#i say like a hapless whelp tied to silly string
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*smiles in angst*
Friends don’t let friends die trying to live up to the family legacy over and over.
The sound I used is from this wonderful garfield edit that tiktok did not let me slap onto my vid when i uploaded it so it ain’t in the list of vids that used the sound and I will perish sweetly
#i think usagi gets compared a lot to his family and their achievements#so he strives too much over and over to do just as good#or maybe better… but he’s 16. He shouldn’t have to almost die#just to prove his worth so his mommy tells him off gently#also she’s dead as u can tell by her kimono lawl#harvey’s arts and stuff#samurai rabbit#samurai rabbit: the usagi chronicles#yuichi usagi#usagi yuichi#i wont tag the gang since this is mostly about usagi#srtuc#angst
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anyway the thing about gilderoy and peter is that when they're in their bubble? it's perfect. gilderoy doesn't have to act or big himself up, peter gets him. he truly gets him. and he humbles him, because it's also when peter can be himself without worrying. peter can speak up, he feels more confident and that starts with correcting gilderoy or being snarky to him, but it slowly tranforms into two people that balance out each other. they're on complete opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of confidence and they find a middle ground together.
but it only exists in private. it only exists between them in their bubble because the second they part ways, gilderoy is back to trying to find that acceptance and appreciation and if he can't get it? he's bigging himself up to try and get it. and peter is back to competing for attention too but he just gives up and goes back to his agreeable, quiet self.
it could never last between them, not when peter can't introduce gilderoy to his world with the marauders without it becoming so obvious how lost he is, and not when gilderoy can't bring peter into his world when there's scarcely anything there and peter doesn't feel worthy of that attention.
they're so impermanent and the sick and twisted part is they don't even have a lasting impact on each other because, again, it fades the second they're apart.
#in this scenario i like to imagine that gilderoy had really pressuring parents#we canonically know he has a muggle dad and a wizarding mum#and that his two sisters were squibs#so he starts showing magical abilities and his mum is really pushing it. she's making him think he needs to bear the weight of his sisters#his muggle dad however? he's so accepting and jokes like 'it's okay! i can't do that spell either haha'#but when he gets that acceptance letter after years of wondering if hes magical enough? yeah he forgets that part#he forgets the encouragement and the support and he strives so hard to be enough to do better to be Phenomenal#and it never works. he simply can't do it. physically or mentally blocked is the question here#can he physically not or is he simply too caught up in the end goal that all of the steps barely register for him?#hence - ego and lies and showboating#its all a facade and pete (who spent his adult life playing a facade) GETS THAT !!!! he sees that !!!#guys im actually obsessed with them#im now a lockhart fan#messrsrarchives marauders
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I fucking hate it here (the USA).
#comet comments#trying so hard not to let current events seep into my internet life#but when every day a new fresh hell emerges#and the impending apocolypse looms ever closer#it's hard not to#also as an aside I can hate it here and still strive and push for better#hate is a great motivator#and yeah#feels very “all hope is lost” out here right now#but also when all hope is lost what else do you have to lose?
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ngl, "I'm the only one who understands [x] character" or "only ten people actually get [x] character" is like the #1 biggest red flag to me that a person probably will have an inaccurate interpretation of a character. because if you've decided that you understand that character in a uniquely objective way over others, you inherently wall yourself off from alternate opinions by deciding they're wrong on the basis of simply not being the exact same as yours. if you can't incorporate or even just ponder other people's perspectives, people who have lived different lives and are approaching the content through different but potentially very useful lenses, you might miss out on some extremely enlightening and fascinating interpretations. building yourself an insulated echo chamber is probably the worst thing you could do when assessing a character like that
#this is not about anything in specific it's just something i've been thinking about for a while#because I do see this kind of rhetoric come up more commonly than i'd like#like god even with veth i'd never say i understand her more than anyone else does. that's so stupid. and untrue#plenty of people probably understand her better than me even if just by a life experience that is more similar than anything i share w/her#when someone makes an inaccurate assessment of a character it is almost always because they've not actually taken the time to get it right#through interacting with and striving to understand what canon is saying#someone who actually puts in the energy and time to think and gather legit evidence for a thoughtful opinion?#that opinion is worth considering even if you won't always agree#but someone who's just like ''i'm the only one who understands them'? they will rarely show you the receipts for why that is#anyway#just thoughts
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still THE funniest veilguard take ive seen is. like. 'rook is worse than solas, morally speaking, and therefore them taking the moral high ground with him makes them a hypocrite'
like. coughing baby vs hydrogen bomb moment but the competition category is war crimes
#valtalks#very sleepy. nit making much sensw. but u know what i mean#solas as a character is very interesting! solas as the fandom portrays him is a sad character assassination#obligatory 'not all solas fans' disclaimer. but u know what i mean#also kinda off topic#another thing ive seen that kinda... isnt much talked abt but has been a personal pet peeve of mine for a while#is the idea that a character cant be interesting if theyre kind and strive to do good#that its somehow less complex#that someone being kind and holding onto hope is somehow weak or childish or whatever#what was that quote from everything everywhere all at once...#when i choose to see the good side of things im not being naive#it is strategic and necessary#YUO KNOWWWWW???? WHAT I MEANN?????#sometimes remaining kind is the hardest thing u can doooooooo#im kinda biased bcs i just. love that character trope i guess. but man#i love a character who is so committed to doing good they will go thru any suffering willingly 🤗#even better if they know theyre going to suffer but they would do it anyway no matter what#chewing on this. shaking it in my teeth#its almost 3 am im nit making smart sleeping schedule decisions
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I really don't ever do art summaries because I'm a chicken but ... being braver this year and yeah. Look how many guys I draw facing the same direction, wow.
Template from here !
#moe talks a lot#2024 art summary#i hate how i wanted like five things from july and yet so little for june still appealed to me lol#anyway yes i did in fact have to give simon two months because i love him a whole whole lot#honestly im proud of feb and march both being sdv farmers LMAO#i dont even strive to improve really and it shows (to me)#i hate coloring but my art looks better colored so i just do my best to enjoy my favorite part (lines) and not stress improvement#art is my hobby and i need it to be as relaxing as possible
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Recently started a Reddit account and saw a post that was like 'season 3 wasn't that bad!' and I'm like "yeah I'll hear you out" then they're like 'It was the season of Mike <3 :)' and I'm left sitting there like ' . . . people like Mike?'
#stranger things#this is joke#i fully understand that people like Mike and will always strive to interpret him that way#but at the same time#daaaaaaaamn#you can do so much better#on the same hand I do know there is dark deep depth of Byler that I've never explored and would like to stay in that ignorance
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Actually, thinking about it...
It's something that some of the fandom refutes the idea of Gojo being a "dad" and one of the reasons being his age and/or just how he behaves.
But then that makes no sense to me because dads can be total goofs like Gojo, you know doing silly things with their kids and...
I have yet to see anyone shut down the idea of Nanami being "like a dad".
"But, Kiya, he is like a dad!"
True, but let's not act as if other family members don't act like Nanami, too, especially if they have to take up the "parent role".
He's more serious than Gojo, but that doesn't mean serious = parent. I can be serious with my siblings as I am the oldest. So if Gojo is the "silly big brother", Nanami can't be the "serious big brother"?
Nanami is also younger than Gojo. So to even bring up Gojo's age as a way to disagree with the Dad-jo agenda seems pretty... useless if you're a person who sees Nanami like a dad.
Mind you, Gojo is the eldest out of the Past Arc students. (Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Haibara, Ieiri and yes, I am also including Ijichi.) He would have just turned 13 and Nanami would have been 12 when Megumi was born.
Personally, I don't care if you see Gojo as a dad, uncle, brother, cousin - figure to any of the kids or just their teacher. Same goes for Nanami.
It just seems unfair to both characters, I guess, to be like "hey, he can't be like this and the other has to be like this".
Like, who said that person has to exhibit those specific traits to be in a role?
To me, at the end of the day, both Gojo and Nanami are mentors who also allow the students to feel what it is like to have some adult figure in their life who does care and protect them.
#if anyone is dad it's yaga!#jokes aside i think I'm kind of the whole 'he's only a mentor he's only a dad' thing#don't get me wrong to me gojo is a mentor but the same also goes for nanami#i don't think both characters should ONLY seen as potential parent figures#i think they should be seen for what they are#mentors to the students that will fight for them and teach them and want them to strive#when you limit a character to one role that you want especially from canon it's like you're not really understanding that character#I'm not an expert of character analysis just saying#but gojo and nanami were really just two dudes who themselves are victims of the injustice that is the jujutsu system#because of that they do their best for the kids to make it better while also trying to balance their duties#but that's just me#just kiya's thoughts#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#nanami kento#kento nanami#gojo satoru#satoru gojo
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