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percabethfeelsfandom · 4 years ago

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How I’d rate the Gods/Goddesses(riordanverse)

This is my rating based off the way Rick Riordan portrayed them in the Riordanverse. The traditional myths have been taken into account but do not make up my entire opinion.

Hestia:

10/10 would give my life for this goddess. In all aspects of the word, this goddess is a goddess. I want a novella of her watching over the hearth and watching out for her family and the heroes. I imagine her being a very comforting presence and warm like a hug, and maybe this is me projecting my mummy issues but I just want her to hug me.

Dionysus:

A solid 7.35/10 for Mr D. Naturally he was a bit annoying, but we were never under the pretence that he he was meant to be anything more than what he provided and I respect that. Him caring about his kids at camp, and staying relatively loyal to his wife is always a plus. And I like his relatively humble beginnings being a hero and becoming a god and then not causing that much trouble in the series. Unlike some other pieces of shit.

Hermes:

4/10. Mans had no right blaming Luke’s thirst for mass genocide on 16 year old Annabeth. Not cool man. Not cool. He gets the points he got because he did genuinely care about Maia, and Luke, but he lost the rest of them by having a blatant favourite (who literally caused so much destruction). However I do still like his line about family in sea of monsters and never giving up on them. Nice meaning. But he was still a shitty father and only intervened out of self interest most of the time.

Aphrodite:

2/10. I hate how low I have to rank her. But my god did Rick do her dirty in his depiction. Just the misogyny, the lack of depth, and the untouched potential she has as a character, as a goddess, THE OLDEST GOD/GODDESS and Rick really made her throw rose petals around the battle fields on one of (what was meant to be) the biggest fights of the riordanverse. Absolute robbery. If I’m not mistaken as well, she was a huge contributor to the issues and obstacles percabeth went through and we do not Stan. HOWEVER, I love her as a goddess normally, and what she could represent if she’s written properly.

Hephaestus:

8/10. I have no qualms with this man. I too prefer the company of inanimate objects to people and get stressed about social interaction. And I too have mummy issues. So me and Hephaestus are on the same page. Let this man tinker away in his little bunker. He never went out of his way to make things harder for demigods, and was helpful when they came to him for help which I can also respect. (Point deduction because it was on his land that Bianca died…if I’m not mistaken).

Ares:

-12/10. This man was introduced as a bully, and gives off the vibes of every phobic, known to humanity. I do not vibe. I do not agree. I do not stan. ALSO his motorbike seat is apparently made from "Caucasian human skin”!!!!!!???? We as children never questioned this? We just went sure aight move on?! Please this man has the biggest small dick energy if I ever saw it and I despite him so much. Mans was also never helpful. Ever. I don’t think. I think Mars was better than him though so I’ll give him that.

Artemis:

9.99/10 all hail queen of the lesbians. Mad respect to this woman. In what she stands for, who she protects and in her actions. She’s what I embody when I stand up for myself in fights and when I speak to have my voice heard. I like Rick’s depiction of her and I love seeing her and her hunters pop up in his books. Would love a couple books on the hunters and their adventures. Also I love archery. And I’m biased to the moon because I love the night so she gets extra points for all of that too.

Apollo:

Prior to Trials of Apollo 7/10, after TOA 9.90/10. Yes it’s a big jump but my god did Lester grow on me. Prior to TOA he was pretty average. He was funny, always provided a good laugh to the plot and was always helping the demigods which I loved. But I know he’s an asshole full of himself so I can’t give him any higher than that until he had some character development, which we got in TOA (specifically after Burning Maze). And I really like who he is now and the type of character Rick shaped him out to be. In the myths he’s a big creep, and I still stand by that idea, hence why he doesn’t get a full 10.

Athena:

3.5/10…ughhh I hate to say this. But part of it is the same reasoning I gave about Aphrodite. I just have so many issues with the way she’s portrayed and it’s not accurate to what I believe in my heart she should represent. And as a child of Athena, I feel like Rick then did her entire legacy dirty. She has her moments, but since I can’t even fully recall one right now, it just proves my point. As a goddess as a whole though, what she represents is everything I aspire to be in life. She’s my entire aesthetic of hard work, creativity, and strength and grit, without taking away of being a powerful female. Zeus’ lead strategist like shit, Rick could have done so much. But he did not. And I am thus sad about it.

Demeter:

6/10. I have no issues with Demeter. Kinda boring. I think that’s what most of the fandom thinks as well. She just didn’t get enough screen time or development. I have no attachment to her. I think the powers that she has, and has passed on to her kids is cool though so there’s that. But in the series as well she doesn’t do much. She also (initially) doesn’t fight in the battle of Manhattan so maybe I’m slightly bitter there. But yeah, i’m indifferent.

Hades:

8.99/10 Okay so hear me out I know this man gets so much bad rep in the myths and that’s part of why he doesn’t get a full 9. But I really really love the way he’s depicted in the riordanverse, especially with his entire arc with his kids/specially with Nico. Like literally one of my favourite quotes In the entire series is “my children are so rarely happy, I would like to see you be the exception.” Out of the gods listed here (and excluding Dionysus), he acts like a genuine parent to his kids and tries. And like there’s issues, sure, but he works on them. And since so much of the first series is about how the gods are neglectful, seeing him change and seeing him fight for Nico is my everything.

Poseidon:

7.1/10. Honestly this feels too high considering mans was nearly If not just as bad as Zeus in keeping it in his dam pants. His points come from treating Sally like the queen she is, and trying with Percy (albeit too little too late but I can see the minimal effort). That being said, he’s really shitty in the myths so I can’t really give him anything higher than this. He’s barely a dad, and sees Percy more as an ally than an actual son or human being that needs attention. I like him more in Fanon and the way that I write him lmao because I humanise him. But I won’t lie he’s dilf material, and I still like rick’s depiction of him.

Hera:

3/10 I’m surprising myself with this rating because tbh I might even push her to 4.5 just because she’s so consistent in her own goals and agenda, and that perseverance is very admirable even if it was at the cost of some of my favourite characters. She was very much two faced though and fucked around stuff that she should have stayed out of. Her hatred for literal children though is a bit problematic. I have no attachment to her but I admire how much she just wants a family. However she just really needs to assess how she approaches that since it’s a bit messed up.

Zeus:

-5/10 I really don’t Zeus, his character, him in the myths, everything about him. He gives off the vibes of a man who abuses the power that he was given. And I don’t like that. It makes me uncomfortable and I don’t like him at all. His treatment of his children, of the demigods, and the way he governs Olympus. Not a fan. I could rule Olympus better and I’m a mentally unstable, serotonin deficient 20 year old with a hyper fixation on greek mythology and Minecraft. However despite not liking his character, I think Rick does a great job at depicting him accurately to how he was in the myths.

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boycottyashahime · 4 years ago

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You have absolutely great takes so I wanted to know your opinion about the entire way Sunrise dealt with the execution of the sequel, because something doesnt exactly make sense to me - it's either Sunrise were hilariously disconnected from reality or they just didnt care; WHY would they even make an entire sequel dedicated to one problematic ship that isnt even liked by the majority of the fandom (SessRin) , while basically shitting all over the most popular one (Inukag) ? What did they think would happen? xD Why would their sequel EVER be accepted with no issues with decisions like that?

I'm glad you think so well of my takes, querent! I don't personally think they're particularly insightful, but that's probably because they're native to my head, and might be obvious to me, but not anyone else.

On why Sunrise could have thought HNY as it came out was any kind of a good idea, the way I see it, there are a couple of possibilities. The first is just plain incompetence. We know that the lead writer of the show has a... bias toward these relationships, to put it nicely, and that he and his allies in the company have been trying to cultivate the audience's sensibilities in that direction for many years as well. They could genuinely have thought they had succeeded in convincing all of us to support the ship, leading to a bungle.

The second possibility, however, is that the show was calculated to be unpalatable or cause an uproar. That might SEEM counterintuitive from this side of the problem, because we as fans tend to think our tastes need to be catered to, or at least soothed, in order for our viewership to be secured. I myself thought at the beginning of this debacle that Sunrise would have to tiptoe around the issue to maintain as much of the audience as possible. Why would anyone accept an addition that twisted and ruined their favorite media?

But with more and more outright insulting remakes/sequels coming out that seem to miss the point entirely or even make a mockery of elements of stories beloved by fans, I'm starting to think it's all done on purpose. Sunrise is one thing, but DISNEY does this a lot, and never seems to flinch at the backlash. You'd think by now these companies would figure out what they've been doing wrong and fix it, but that's only if they've been doing things WRONG by their measurements.

Research has been coming out recently that suggests we engage more with content on social media that pisses us off than the stuff we actually like. Incendiary posts spread like wildfire and produce arguments miles long because denouncing things that are distasteful and offensive to us has become the core of internet existence. This is especially exacerbated regarding content to do with identity and affirmations of such: race, creed, sex, orientation, political affiliation, and yes, fandom.

We engage with fiction that really appeals to us on the level of identity, because the whole reason we get into it in the first place is we see something in it that we identify with. Something deeply personal stands out to us in it, intended by the creator or not, and we adopt it as a part of us and a reflection of who we are. We buy merchandise and consume new content as a way to reaffirm our affinity for the aspects of the media we have internalized. We OWN it; it is OURS.

So it feels personal whenever someone says something disparaging toward our favorite media. It feels even MORE personal when an official source of content contradicts the source material and the way things were understood by ourselves and our community, or presents an immoral twisted picture of it. We rage against anything that hurts the image of the source material because it's also OUR image, and we have to defend it as part of ourselves. Out comes the disavowal, the vocal rejections, the attempts to shame and withdraw support from the company. And this of course bumps up engagement and the numbers for the content and studio.

Online, attention is currency, and getting the most attention often means raising a LOT of ire and tempers over hot-button issues. It's just good business sense to troll away and make people angry these days.

As conspiratorial as it might seem, I think there's a good chance HNY was written for the algorithm rather than to actually appeal to an audience. Considering how Sunrise has yet to actually give development and definition to the controversial pairing in question, and their affiliate manga artist characterized the show as one of many possible futures, they're not really endearing themselves to the shippers anymore either. That might change in the second season, if they're willing to risk their distribution deals and such, but if not, I'd say universal frustration might have been the goal.

Whatever gets the outrage points, I guess.

#anti sunrise #anti yashahime #anti sessrin #antisessrin

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trombonesinspace · 5 years ago

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Typhoid Mary: feminist femme fatale?

“Season 4 was going to be Typhoid Mary, Alice Eve [who played the role in Iron Fist], we were doing a kind of...I had a much different version of her than what Raven [Metzner] had done in Iron Fist. I was kind of rebooting what she was going to be like, and we were going to do a, you know, kind of a warped love story/murder mystery kind of femme fatale, but kind of a modern-day, feminist version of it, as opposed to kind of the older, sexist kind of femme fatale archetype.”

-Erik Oleson, in conversation with Steven DeKnight, SaveDaredevilCon

As I said yesterday, I have some thoughts about this! If you want some opinions nobody asked for, about a storyline that may never come to pass, you’ve come to the right place! Let’s dive in.

A femme fatale is a character type with quite a history, that can take various forms. She is always an attractive woman who brings ruin to the man who gets involved with her. But sometimes she is deliberately manipulative, while sometimes she is more a victim of circumstances. She may be evil, or she may be sympathetic/tragic. But whatever her moral alignment, she has two defining traits: sexual allure, and some form of negative consequences for the hero as a result of his involvement with her.

A woman who schemes against the hero, and succeeds in harming him, but without using feminine wiles? Not a femme fatale. The Marvel TV universe has featured several examples on different shows: Madame Gao, Mariah Dillard, Alexandra. And, ironically, the version of Typhoid Mary who appeared in Iron Fist. (We’ll get there.)

A sexy woman who tries to manipulate/damage the hero, but fails? Also not a femme fatale. I wish I could give some examples, but sadly I can’t think of any, in dramas at least. Our current media culture loves a sexy manipulator, no writer ever seems to introduce one into a dramatic story without making her succeed in her schemes, to some extent at least.

Which is unfortunate, from my perspective, because I loathe sexy manipulators. It’s a character type I really dislike, whenever I encounter her. As soon as she shows up, I know the hero is going to fall for her bullshit like a chump, and I’m going to end up respecting him less as a result. I could try to unpack my feelings about this a bit more, but that would probably make a post all on its own, so for now I’ll leave it at that.

This doesn’t mean I hate all femmes fatales—it really depends on her motivation and her behavior. If she isn’t trying to harm the hero, and it happens due to circumstances, then I might like the character, but the story becomes a tragedy. Which is not necessarily bad. Just, you know. Tragic.

Anyway! Let’s talk about Typhoid Mary.

Mary Walker is a woman with Dissociative Identity Disorder (multiple personalities), and high-level combat skills. In the comics, she is also a mutant with mental powers. She appeared in the Daredevil comics starting in 1988.

In this original version, her personality fragmented due to childhood abuse, leading her to vow as an adult that no man would ever hurt her again. Her personalities are: Mary, who is timid and gentle; Typhoid, who is adventurous, lusty, and violent; and Bloody Mary, who is even more violent, sadistic, and hates all men.

Mary becomes romantically involved with Matt Murdock, who is cheating on his girlfriend, Karen Page, to be with her. At the same time, Typhoid is trying to ruin him, having been hired to do so by the Kingpin. Matt can’t tell they’re the same woman, because when she switches personalities all her bio signs change (voice, scent, heartbeat, etc) so much that he can’t recognize her. (Uh, sure.) She may also be using some of her mutant powers to confuse his senses. I haven’t read the comics, I’m relying here on what I could learn from the internet.

Eventually Typhoid drops him off a bridge, but then Mary finds him and gets him to a hospital, saving him. Karen is with him when he wakes up, but he breaks her heart by calling out for Mary.

This storyline...does not thrill me. As I said, I haven’t read it, but comics writing about mental illness is generally neither nuanced nor accurate, and comics writing about women circa 1988 is also not great, by today’s standards. And comics Matt’s disastrous love life is legendary—cheating on your girlfriend is bad, Matt! Don’t do it!

I have, however, watched season 2 of Iron Fist, where we get a different version. This Mary Walker is a US army veteran, special ops, who was captured by the Sokovian military. Her personality fragmented due to the brutal abuse she received from her captors for nearly two years, until she finally escaped. She got a medical discharge from the army after being diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Her personalities are: Mary, who is innocent and naive; and Walker, who is a ruthless, coolly efficient mercenary-for-hire. The existence of a third, ultraviolent personality, previously unknown to either Mary or Walker, is revealed near the end of the season.

Mary meets and befriends Danny Rand, while Walker is hired by his enemies to stalk him, and eventually capture him so they can steal his Iron Fist powers from him. She later changes sides, getting hired to bring down Davos, the season’s main villain, by Joy Meachum, his former ally.

There are clear parallels to the Daredevil comics storyline, albeit in less extreme form—Mary befriends the hero, but isn’t romantically involved with him; her more violent personality works against him and fights him, but doesn’t try to destroy him.

I enjoyed this version of the character more than I expected to, for a couple of reasons. For one, she is never the out of control, “crazy” stereotype of a person with mental illness. Both Mary and Walker are more-or-less functional adults, managing to live a strange hybrid life, aware of each other’s existence even though they don’t share memories.

But what I especially like is that she isn’t sexualized, at all. It’s incredibly rare, in my experience, to see a young, female antagonist opposing a male hero, and not have her be sexy. Older women are exempt from this obligation (see my list of examples above), but the young ones always vamp it up, and I am so tired of it. I am not opposed to sexy women, but I am very opposed to the requirement that all women must be sexy. (Unless they’re old.) Male antagonists aren’t required to be alluring, so why should women be? (Yes, I know why. I just don’t like it.)

There’s also a lot of potential YIKES in sexualizing a woman with a severe mental illness, which was caused by (among other things) repeated sexual violence. Could it be done in a way that isn’t super problematic? It’s possible, sure. Am I assuming that most television writers would give the subject the respect it deserves? NOPE!

I’m really glad they chose to just not go there. Walker is extremely good at what she does, takes no shit from anyone, and (almost) never gets riled up. After everything she’s been through, nothing in her present life has the power to faze her, and none of the men around her have the power to intimidate her. It’s pretty great!

She isn’t the least bit coy or seductive, and, equally refreshing, none of the men try to sexualize her or hit on her. Everyone Walker talks to knows she is a highly skilled professional, and they treat her accordingly. Or, when someone does disrespect her, it’s never gendered as far as I can remember, and it stops as soon as she calmly states what she’s going to do to him if it doesn’t.

As for Mary, although she has a more feminine appearance than Walker (hair down and loose, makeup), she is also not sexualized. Her friendship with Danny, who is in an established relationship with Colleen Wing, is platonic, and no one else tries to hit on her that I remember.

So this is the version of Typhoid Mary that Erik Oleson was going to reboot, into a femme fatale. Only, you know. A feminist one.

I...have some questions. What does that even mean? What does feminism mean to Erik Oleson? Let’s be real, the idea of a woman becoming an ultraviolent, sadistic man-hater as a result of sexual trauma would have been seen as feminist in some circles, back in 1988 when that version was written. So what, exactly, did he have in mind?

As I said before, sexual allure is a necessary component of a femme fatale. So she was definitely gonna be sexy. And you know now how I feel about sexy female antagonists. As for the “warped love story” part...Matt wouldn’t be cheating on Karen, since they aren’t together (please, for the love of mercy, don’t have them get together right before he meets Mary, we did that once and I do NOT want to see it again), but I am still not a fan of Matt/Mary as a couple.

Her Dissociative Identity Disorder raises some serious issues around consent, and even if the show chose to ignore that, there’s still the issue of past sexual trauma. Unless Oleson’s reworking of the character was going to include a completely different back story, a Matt/Mary relationship would mean Matt unknowingly having sex with a woman who has suffered brutal sexual abuse in her past. Not to mention, having sex with her that only one part of her personality actually wants.

Is it possible for someone with Mary’s past trauma and present mental illness to have a positive sexual relationship? In reality, of course! In the hands of writers with only a layman’s knowledge of psychology, on a show that loves to torment its hero, I wouldn’t bet on it. How do you suppose our poster boy for Catholic guilt would react when he inevitably finds out the truth?

Plus, aside from any issues around Mary herself, Matt starting a relationship with anyone other than the handful of people who already know his secret identity, means a whole new round of Matt lying to someone he cares about. Does anyone really want to see that? I know I don’t. Sure, maybe he’d tell her eventually, but how long would they have to date before he decided to trust her with the truth?

I’m not opposed to the Mary Walker from Iron Fist appearing in Daredevil, if the writers could come up with a new story for her (i.e, don’t just have her repeat all the same plot beats with Matt that she already did with Danny). But bringing her in as a femme fatale really doesn’t sit well with me. We’ve already seen Matt in an ultimately destructive relationship with a sexy, violent, morally grey woman. I really don’t want to watch Round 2: now with multiple personalities!

Of course, maybe we never will. The quote at the beginning of this post is from just a couple of weeks ago (July 25 2020), so Erik Oleson still seems to think it’s a fine idea. But obviously we don’t know yet if there will ever be a season 4, or who the show runner will be if there is. He may never get to make the story he was planning.

So yes, I realize I’m merely speculating about a completely theoretical story that may never happen. But I wanted to write this anyway. I had a strong “ugh, no” reaction to the idea of a feminist femme fatale Typhoid Mary, and I wanted to go deeper and pick apart my reasons for not liking the idea.

To the three of you who have read this all the way through to the end (this post is nearly 2000 words, yikes), thank you for indulging me! These are, as always, my own opinions, and YMMV.

#daredevil #typhoid mary #femme fatale #long post #oh look I wrote a dissertation

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felvika · 5 years ago

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okay AS an actual fucking trans person....can we stop calling people (including celebrities) transphobic over saying things that are questionable or maybe even borderline transphobic when they clearly correct themselves later? like ime most cis people (including other gay folks) do not start out anywhere near educated enough to avoid saying some problematic shit. the vast majority of the world is working from a transphobic starting point and getting better. i feel like labelling someone who has gotten better as transphobic for their uneducated past is SO unhelpful. it's not a problem to say "x thing was transphobic," but labelling people as transphobes themselves when they clearly make an effort to be better is bad. taking a singular example of a person saying something transphobic and using that to label them forever without checking to see if they changed after they learned better? that's a problem to me. that tells people if they fuck up there is no point in becoming an ally, in learning better, because they already fucked up and the damage is done. that should never be the case.

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mrkanman · 5 years ago

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can i say a thing about villain protagonists... i enjoy them a lot when they are villains fighting a clearly worse villain. like for example, if its a juvenile delinquent [who is a villain. no sugarcoating] against some even more messed up piece of shit adult. i would enjoy that + the protagonist. i also enjoy them when they start off as villain protagonists and then subsequently get better and be better and are less villainous. i feel like thats a good thing

now see i got beef with that bc a juvenile delinquent, even if they're a shitty punk. is. a child...and it is still really hard for me to see a kid/teenager as a piece of shit that gets the word "Problematic" stamped on their forehead.

and obvi if ur a kid u still gotta own up for ur actions when u are, in fact, being a piece of shit. and tbh you don't automatically become a good and wise adult the second you turn 18.

when i was a kid/teen, it was a lot easier for me to conceptualize the people in my grade that bullied me as just. bad people. when shit isn't black and white, which is the moral i think for a lot of shitty delinquent turned friend stories, especially when they have their own shit going on in their lives. i like that kind of story a lot, as cheesy as it is. makes me wish i made that attempt to try to understand my bullies and maybe they woulda eventually come around.

as for villainous protagonists as a whole, i tend to walk that line VERY. VEEEERY carefully. bc unfortunately, there are times where dangerous people won't have reading comprehension and take away from a villainous protagonist POV that they were right abt everything, which. i think is always something an author worries abt i think in the back of their mind.

which like. sucks. bc when you show off your writing you're more or less done with it, and the art becomes what the audience interprets. just the life cycle of art.

which is why i think villainous redemption arcs are never gonna beee...perfect. you don't get that sweet spot where your audience interprets exactly what you're going for.

and i think one of the causes of this is that a lot of redemption arcs are...super rushed. and that they don't actually SHOW the hard parts and pitfalls that come with redemption.

imo a villain archetype that i like is one that couuuulld be made into an ally. after at least three seasons of being a wishy washy sentimental bastard letting their toxic personality getting the better of them. and THEN their redemption arc begins when after all that they say "i want to get better."

and even that comes with the baggage of "ok cool but you still traumatized and killed like, a TON of people on the way to this point that will hate your guts no matter how much you change."

a protagonist with villainish goals i think needs to be done with. nuance. a whole gallon of the stuff. bc by god there are gonna be people who are gonna take your big red flags for such a character as flags they should get to wave naked in the street.

#anonymous #long post #oops! actual analysis!

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survivor-tierradelfuego · 5 years ago

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Ep. 12: “everyone is feeling pity for me...WHICH IS AMAZING” - Pedro

Najwah

I don't think I'm good at survivor lmao. I don't like what it's doing to me. Initially the blindsiding and voting put felt like nothing but it's getting so hard every day. I've known these people for almost a month now and I've grown so close to them. These feelings of paranoia and trying to go after people is just a lot. Also the idea of using people pisses me off. I told Cody and Sarah that my bond with Amy wasn't like that but they still felt as though they needed to try to get Amy "for the numbers" instead of trying to talk to Pedro or something - which annoys me. I don't want to use people for numbers. I don't want to use people at all. My perspective has changed completely. I'm still PLAYING but as I say repeatedly, my connections with humans is more important than an ego boost that comes with winning. Amy finally contacted me again after I asked her whether she was angry with me. She said yes bc I didn't choose her as my closest ally in the previous challenge. Thanks again James. So basically she saw I chose someone else, but she chose me as her closest ally. And I chose her as the person I trust the most and she chose Maddison? Am I not supposed to be mad at that too? I just miss her. We had such a fun friendship going. Now it's just scrambling and game talk with Sarah and Cody. It's a lot. I'm still not sure whether I want to tell Sarah about my super idol but I'm guessing Cody already had. That's why he's pressurising me to tell Sarah lmao. Also I'm not sure where their heads are at and how they feel about me. Whether they are just keeping me here because of my superidol. Either way, I guess I'm glad to be here.

Olivia A

Cody has been VERY enthusiastic about the fact that he wants to work closely with me moving forward. In this challenge, however, when given the choice to take away Pedro’s immunity or my immunity, he took away mine!! That was very telling that they are trying to pull Pedro in for numbers and don’t actually want to work with us lol. Kinda stupid of them.

Maddison

Pedro keeps scrapping by and is definitely now working with old Hanuha... Pedro! you’re on the bottom with them!! (and us too, oop)

Pedro A

okay everyone is feeling pity for me...WHICH IS AMAZING.....i can use that to get a little further in the game...even tho i still think my days are numbered....BUT I THINK WE MIGHT GET MADDISON´S ass out of game..its my only chance to stay lol

Aimee

I dedicate this song to Maddison! Alina Baraz - Trust https://youtu.be/Akgs6Lu0AiI I’m so happy I can trust you in this game. I feel it. You really comforted me when Grae and then Ben got their torches snuffed. You have never wronged me and I think I’m a good judge of character. We just click. I’m glad I can just pour all myself out to you and all my game thoughts. You never know when you’re the next one off the skype island and I want you to know everything. I’m not writing your name down in this game. Old Hanuha it’s gonna have to blindside me a 4th time. Lol and I’m closer with Pedro in this game than they realize. So if they try to pull his vote, hopefully I will know. 🤞 I honestly hope I wasn’t too suspicious on last immunity challenge that I never cut your rope. I wish you didn’t get out first round in this one! 😢😟 Aimee

Pedro has really helped pass the time at jury duty today. It’s fun chatting with him about the legal systems in our countries and cracking jokes at each other. Speaking of game for a moment, you can’t just ignore someone in this game like Pedro and treat them like an outcast and then expect to use them when you see fit. I have a genuine connection with him and even now I’m sitting here wondering.... do I save him this vote? There’s a lot to consider. It’s funny how old Hanuha thinks they can just grab any old Maola and work with them. Sorry guys you might be a little bit late to that game. I’ve heard from just about all of them how disingenuous old Hanuha is being. Hahahahaha sorry but I’ve been there with all of old Maola WAY before you have. They can see that I’ve been forthcoming and building relationships for days and not some last minute sketch as hell thing. It truly pays off to not lie or be messy when you have no reason to be. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been blindsided and left out so much....I had no choice but to adapt my game. Maybe one day you’ll find out what that’s like too? I’ve been thinking so many steps far ahead and predicting potential moves before they happen. It’ll take a lot for them to get an old Maola vote without me knowing about it. https://64.media.tumblr.com/5edf24d4321044ba332b90b161d0f442/587280b4d69b93c7-b5/s400x600/8f010451e459cb39058854d9655031b4bb9b617f.gifv

Maddison

I know I’m a target again tonight, so its a good thing I have the idol in my pocket.

Olivia A

Maddison found an idol!! We think they are going to go for Maddison so she’ll play it for herself and we’re going to vote Cody out. He might have an idol too, though, so we might switch it to Najwah and hope they don’t expect that. I think we have Aimee with us so if we get Cody or Najwah out we’ll be in the majority.

Najwah

So the plan initially was to get Olivia out but Amy L messaged me to tell me that her tribe is trying to get Aimee on board to vote me out? And apparently Pedro is on board with that too. However, Amy wants to get Maddison out but just not right now. And that's problematic because I really wish Amy would work with me. At what point does she want to work with me I don't understand. Also, she's talking to Pedro about her and my alliance and its starting to freak me out. For some reason she thinks I'm at the bottom of my alliance? Sigh. So she told us Olivia has an idol which puts a spanner in the works. It's two hours to tribal and I think I'm about to get blindsided lmao. Unless I vote for Amy, this is a high possibility. If she just came to work with me to get Maddison out, I could protect her but as long as she's part of their alliance, I can't really do much. I honestly wish she'd just vote with us. I don't want to get her out. I wanted an African Queen final. She suggested that we get Maddison or Olivia out and then she, her and Pedro and Maddison start our own alliance and get Cody, Sarah and Aimee out. And then Maddison and it's her, me and Pedro in the final. 💀 I just.. I don't want to betray people to that extent. Yes it's a game but also, it's just a game. I hate that I'll have to write Amy down for this. HATE It and it makes me fucking sad but whyyyyy won't she just work with us. Now she has my fake idol too dammit. We could trick Maddison so easily. Ugh. I just hope she'd change her mind within the next couple of hours. I really don't want to lose the one person I trust in this game. Fuck. While Magnificent Maddison is still in? Our game could definitely go to shit. Who's to say Aimee won't vote with Maddison and Pedro next. Why are we not getting the biggest threat out? I don't understand. Even Amy thinks she's a threat but when it comes doen to it she just never wants to vote her? Whyyyyyy

Sarah

My video link won’t upload so... I’ll send this in for now.

For tonight’s vote, the four old Hanuha and Pedro want to vote together and we don’t have too much of a preference who we vote for. But, Naj found out through Amy that Olivia has an idol so we can either make it sound like we are voting Olivia or Maddison and hopefully flush an idol. So I talked to Naj and said I think we may be safer to vote Amy because we know an idol won’t be played on her and Amy won’t vote with or work with Naj completely. Amy is just being a messagener so she’s not really worth keeping around if she won’t work with us. Also, I don’t think Aimee wants to vote Olivia or Maddison. So the plan is to blindside Amy tonight and hopefully nothing crazy happens with advantages.

Olivia A

Amy A

There’s so much happening in my personal life and this game is my sanity which is funny because it’s ANYTHING but sane in here. The vote is going bonkers once again. I don’t know what will happen. There are names everywhere. I just hope I survive another night.

Olivia A

So the official plan is to vote Najwah. Amy told Pedro that we’re voting Cody so hopefully he relays that false info to Hanuha people. He also accidentally sent Amy some messages along the lines of “amy and maddison want me to vote w them but don’t even tell me the plan...” lmao so we have it confirmed that he’s telling Hanuha everything. I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing that Pedro didn’t include me in that/assume I’m working with them. Maybe I am a goat! Not sure. Everything Maddison has done (whom everyone thinks is the big target) is something that I also did. We’ve been working in collaboration literally the whole game and come up with all plans together. That doesn’t feel like a goat to me.

Pedro A

I'm FUCKING SCAREDDDDD....like I don't trust Maddison and olivia....why would I vote with them...but at the same time...... I would just get 6th and 5th...LIKE COME ON...from the bottom to the powerful position..Idk how much more I can take...IM DYINGGGGGGGGGGGGG KILL ME ALREADY...sorry im literally a psycho ...#streampsycho by red velvet THO....but at the same time...Amy wants me to vote Cody......I CAN'T BE THE LAST MALE IN THE GAME....everyone will come for me

Maddison

I know I’m a target again tonight, so its a good thing I have the idol in my pocket.

Olivia A

Ahhh now Amy is being sus. She said she started talking to Najwah pretending she was interested in flipping to get info. But she never shared that w Maddison and me while it was happening so that makes me think she was actually interested in flipping. Also she apparently told Najwah that Maddison and I are super close! I don’t like that. I feel like I’m going home tonight.

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/l8RU7yci6kY

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/u5Wj3o0jqZE

#episodes

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bat-lings · 6 years ago

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I love everyone in the batfam no matter how problematic, but the Rhato 25 discourse bothered me. As a Bruce fan I didn't like the complete crucifixion of his character by the Jason diehards. Personally I feel Bruce was justified (the brutality felt like a publicity stunt for shock value, which I didn't like), but seeing these same fans (that hate Bruce for daring to hurt their fav) then celebrate when Jason did the exact same thing to Damian in the teen titans annual. It's so hypocritical.

Oh, Anon, I fear you inadvertently put the finger on the exact thing I despise about current storylines. I agree in that they’re taking the shock value too far and that every character suffers for it.

Frankly, I have more of a problem with what the fans are served than with how they reacted to it.

Fair warning, I’m gonna get very critical with the writing of the two events Anon mentioned. I’d be extra interested to hear about those events from the perspective of someone who actually enjoyed them, but it’s not worth your good mood if reading a post basically trashing said storylines upsets you.

I’ll respectfully disagree about Bruce’s behavior towards Jason. It was excessively brutal and nothing justified it. The scene can be summed up to shock value, to the point it would need to be entirely rewritten to exonerate Bruce. Jason relapsed into lethal force for understandable reasons. Even if we consider nothing excuses Jason; even in an alternative scenario where he’d have shot the Penguin out of the blue, Bruce’s behavior would be plain wrong.

Bruce went after him, assaulted him, and kept on beating him while Jason wasn’t defending himself.

Let’s forget this was Jason for a second. This is not the kind of violence Bruce should resort to against any criminal. I don’t just mean that hey, this isn’t ideal morally speaking, I mean that Bruce Wayne, as a character, as the man who was always written to believe in redemption/rehabilitation, as the man who willed never to use lethal or even unnecessary force, can’t do this and pretend to be remotely what Bruce’s character is supposed to represent. I hate it every time Bruce is written to use that kind of empty violence, preboot or reboot. Miller went down that road too and it never fulfilled my idea of entertainment.

Then you add on the fact that Jason’s his son, and it makes it all so much worse. Bruce legit puts the blame on Jason, not only during the confrontation (“I told you if you left me it’d be your choice”), but also in a later issue when Lobdell serves us a disastrous attempt at a reconciliation scene. “I love you but you deserved a kick in the ass.” Like, I don’t think Lobdell could’ve portrayed a more abusive father-figure if he wanted to.

As a comparison, have similar confrontations between Bruce and Dick in preboot.

[Batman (1940) #600]

So here there’s an actual fight. Dick is actively participating rather than being used as Bruce’s punching-ball. Power-wise, they’re equals.

You want a true equivalent to the scene between Jason and Bruce, where Dick suffers from a power-imbalance + Bruce being toxic?

[New Titans (1988) #55]

Note how it doesn’t go further than a punch because it’s bad enough that way and doesn’t need to escalate further to drive the narrative home. There’s no “I love you but you deserved a punch” bullshit later on either.

Even in Teen Titans: Year One where Bruce was particularly terrible (too much imo), he’s brainwashed when he hits Dick and nothing in the story/framing exonerates Bruce for his global behavior.

Those confrontations had a place in their narratives other than shock value. Bruce’s descent after Jason’s death, his mental state in Murderer/Fugitive. They illustrate how fucked up Bruce is at a specific moment due to specific events and context. They’re not casually dismissed afterwards by a hug and a dubious line. And again, they don’t require Bruce to beat Dick half to death to drive their point home.

By the way, this is reconciliation.

[Batman (1940) #605]

This is a component of the circle of abuse.

[Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #27]

“I love you. If only you weren’t so stubborn, you wouldn’t deserve an occasional kick in the ass. Like when I inflicted you severe physical trauma. But I love you anyway. Aaah, the woes of father-son relationships!”

There was no narrative reason for Bruce to take it that far with Jason in rhato. It’s just physically more violent and emotionally less impactful, because it’s so damn cheap and because it tries to pass abuse for a normal familial dissension that can be cured with a hug. I can’t get emotionally engaged with that kind of writing.

It’s a reboot, it’s entitled to change characters, but it’s simply not a Bruce I recognize nor one whose existence I’m particularly eager to acknowledge.

As for the Jason-Damian confrontation…

I don’t care that Jason didn’t want to fight and tried so hard to de-escalate the situation until Damian pulled out that mystery drama-box. I don’t care that Damian’s a trained fighter. Frankly, I don’t care about the specifics. At the end of the day, an adult beat the shit out of a child. A child who was framed in earlier appearances to be his little brother. A writer/editorial team/whoever the hell made the conscious choice to put those characters in the specific situation where an adult would beat the shit of a child family member.

You know, for all that I hate TT#29 for its cheap violence (and Jason’s less than ideal portrayal), it at least had the decency to oppose two characters of roughly the same age. And in this continuity, Jason was revived to be a villain. I may not like it but it’s expected that he acts villainous towards the fam, or Tim here. Plus Tim and Jason were never ever portrayed as brothers in post-crisis. They’re strangers. Them beating each other simply doesn’t have the same significance.

Have another preboot parallel where neither perpetrators are villains.

[Red Robin #14]

Here the writer puts Tim in a situation where he has to defend himself against a ten-year-old. There’s a punch, and then the violence stops. That’s it. Much like the preboot Dick-Bruce confrontations, it doesn’t need to be taken further. The story delivers its point without any ten-year-old getting beaten senseless by an older ally.

Seriously, how does this…

[Batman (2016) #16]

…exist in the same continuity as this?

[Teen Titans Annual 1 (2019)]

How is this a good way to portray familial dissensions/confrontations of any kind?

You’re the writer. You decide if the 20 something is gonna throw hands with the 13 year old. You decide how the father figure reacts to the son’s actions. You decide how far each confrontation goes. You decide whether two characters that were explicitly portrayed as brothers are gonna bleed each other out. You decide whether the father figure is abusive. You decide what happens, how it happens, how it’s resolved, and how every element is framed.

Physical violence is just another narrative tool that should be used to construct a story. You can’t just throw it in, dial it up to 11, and hope it’ll make your scene impactful. It just proves you don’t know how to write a vivid scene without relying on cheap tricks.

Anon, I get your frustration, I don’t like what’s done of Bruce either. I made a post about his parental failures in preboot ( bat-lings.tumblr .com/post/180901354160/do-you-think-bruce-was-a-bad-father-im-starting); none of them ever reached rhato’s caricatural empty brutality. Bruce is less and less well received by fans as he’s sometimes instrumentalized in sequences that don’t fit his character. It’s not fair on him.

But I can’t seem to disconnect with what we are given long enough to worry about how we react to it. And to be fair I’ve seen as many posts hating on Jason’s recent actions than hating on Bruce’s.

Tbh bad writing/ooc-ness aside there’s little anyone can say to exonerate either character here. The fans are reacting vividly because they’re faced with a story that has little else to sell other than vivid brutality. We all go “gasp!”, pick sides, and that’s it. It’s hard to breed interesting discussion among fans with that configuration.

The good news is, each of those characters have seen better days, and not everything in reboot is as bad as the above sequences. Also we have fanfictions :D

#jason todd #damian wayne #bruce wayne #tim drake #dick grayson #batfamily #meta #asks #zae chatters

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land-of-brains-and-chocolate · 6 years ago

Text

god it WILL NOT stop bothering me until i talk about it. the way we got here. it’s not just about the book anymore, not at all, and it’s certainly never been about “shipping”, at this point it’s how helpless the tactics of the guy make me feel.

step one: refer to people who have read previous venom books and noticed the trend throughout the nineties to portray eddie and the symbiote as a man and an agender alien in an ambiguously or not-so-ambiguously romantic relationship, which was picked up on and completely unambiguously canonised in the very last run, consistently refer to these people as “shippers”, lovingly condescend to them, do not ever treat “the ship” as existing beyond their imagination

[I LOVE THAT YOU GUYS EXIST]

result: make people forget that this is a complete misrepresentation and he has received no criticism whatsoever for “not making a ship canon” because that is not what he did, he decanonised it and then denied doing so and painted everyone it ever meant something to as essentially deluded - and, considering that that’s all they are, he’s being awfully kind and accommodating, isn’t he?

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step two: actively seek out these no-good shippers on tumblr! tell them that you’re watching them! read their detailed posts in which they express their grievances about your comic book to their friends and misrepresent their points on your twitter so your bajillion followers can affirm that Those People are categorically wrong about everything!

[EDDIE IS CODEPENDENT]

people are mad at him because he said eddie was codependent! not because he’s reframing the extremely rare story of a troubled queer relationship that was ultimately still a redemptive force in these characters’ lives as an unhealthy compulsion that corrupts, hm, what a fresh and unfamiliar take, no reason why this would strike a nerve - and, recently, of course, as something inherently abusive, every bit of hope and change for the better vile and fake.

literally just start vaguing about people’s personal tumblr blogs on your professional twitter account with the little, little blue checkmark and everything, use that to make passive-aggressive references to people’s posts! why not!

[LOVE EACH OTHER]

people talk about how they like a symbiote and its host getting along (and they did, that very night, talk quite a lot about ngozi)? that is so dumb and lame.

[EVERYTHING IS AWESOME]

people get sick of edgy shock factor writing that throws one dark theme after another at them without treating any of them with the consideration they deserve? people expect some moments of levity in a venom book?

they’re asking for stories with no conflict where nothing bad ever happens! but it’s okay, he knows better, he knows you just don’t know what you want! it’s not like endless sadness is just as likely to be dreadfully boring or unintentionally hilarious as endless happiness!

result: o w n e d god he sure is shutting down every point no one has ever made

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step three: literally get so mad at people on tumblr talking about your comic that you not only boil their opinions down to THE SHIIIIP but literally say that their opinions don’t matter because they literally would never say it “to your face” literally because it’s “easy to be brave on tumblr”

literally

say these words

[IT’S EASY TO BE BRAVE ON TUMBLR]

call people chicken shits for NOT talking to you directly! and then! BLOCK everybody who talks to you directly! or quote retweet them so your followers can descend like vultures! actually acknowledge that it takes bravery to interact with you if you’re in the Tumblr Demographic, you know, one of Those People, and frame yourself as in the right for it???

am i losing my mind???

[SIX PEOPLE ON TUMBLR]

get so mad at people on tumblr talking about your comic that you not only claim they’re the only people ever to talk badly of it but imply that you’re one step away from namedropping the specific perpetrators. that’s not ominous at all!

it’s an age-old question: how many times does one of marvel’s top writers with legions of fans have to imply his antagonistic awareness of your specific existence before you’re on a first name basis? and also paranoid?

result: stir shit. be a shit stirrer. faint when your shit stirring does in fact stir shit. you can’t go “you would never” and be surprised when people do, you... can’t...

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step four: whip out your ally card... to whip the people you’re supposed to be allied to with it. try to use your knowledge of queer issues to shut down actual queer people.

[I DON’T THINK IT’S APPROPRIATE TO ASSUME GENDER]

either that, or straight-up make a “did you just assume my gender” joke. i can’t find the original tweet anymore, so it’s possible it was that and he deleted it because it was too blatant, lol.

result: MAYBE YOU GUYS WERE THE PROBLEMATIC ONES ALL ALONG

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step five: remember that interview where he outright stated that he just wants to, just to be the definite venom run? just to put the biggest dent in canon he can? just to break everybody’s toys and emerge victorious as the one person with the valid take on venom?

yeah, those things become more noticeable in the actual book, over time, and acceptance of that is, uh, not universal? not everybody’s up for him spending several issues in a row on e s t a b l i s h i n g d o m i n a n c e by having eddie sit around as other characters tell him that a ton of stuff other writers from michelinie to thompson to costa to kaminski to slott to jenkins have done actually sucked and was wrong and fake and never happened? through retcons that make no sense, like, factually don’t fit?

people don’t like you walking back character and relationship development to further your end goal of recasting the symbiote as the personification of addiction and abuse instead of itself a survivor of extreme abuse who has been constantly denied personhood in a way that is frighteningly resonant and who has been going through a genuine redemption arc for years now?

people don’t like you acting like eddie never had a reason for being who he is before and you had to make one up? one that doesn’t fit the character at all, which you didn’t realise because you apparently thought the character had no characterisation before you came along?

you can imagine how these things might spark nerd rage?

and you can probably imagine who this nerd rage was blamed on, yeah?

these criticisms inherently require knowledge of venom canon, because they’re largely about disrespect for it, these criticisms are not related to shipping of any kind - but of course the only thing people could possibly be mad about is the "ship", the only ones making a fuss are those “shippers”, those casuals, Those People who only care about One Thing and don’t understand the real gritty reality of the, god you get it i’m making fun

[I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT]

you’re the only one, don. it’s true.

and i know, i know for a fact, that he’s been aware of criticism from other groups all along, that he was, for example, witness to this livestream that spends like a solid hour a month mercilessly dragging him through the dirt, and you know what the extent of his response was?

thanks for checking the book out.

that’s it. that’s all. this guy hasn’t gotten any less loud about criticising him, either. wishing for his book’s cancellation and retconning. but nothing more. he gets to keep to himself. he is #valid.

people have been taking the piss out of him on youtube, on reddit. only tumblr ever earned his ire. only tumblr gets namedropped at convention panels.

and now, now more than ever? you better believe your regular run-of-the-mill nerds, straight, male, utterly uninterested in the icky stuff, everything, are mad. almost everyone who’s truly tits deep in venom lore is mad.

and so he’s said he’s received threats. and i’m sure he has. i’ve received threats. you’ve received threats. it’s never okay. it sure as shit never helps to send them.

he’s gotten a lot of fucking inappropriate personal vitriol! lots of it actually “ship”-related! i’m categorically against contacting the guy for any reason!

but who is to blame? who do people accept as being to blame? who do news outlets report on as being to blame? when, i presume, not every single one of them actually went “i’m doing this specifically because i’m a (thunder clap) shipper”? when large-scale retcons are literally always met with nerd rage? when a shipper-less fandom probably still would’ve had threats?

[THIS IS INSANE]

[IT’S THE SHIPPERS]

result: if all criticism = “shippers”, and “shippers” = harassment, then everyone who has no actual idea of what’s going on but who doesn’t like “shippers” is automatically on his side and nobody who isn’t a “shipper” wants to risk the association by criticising him.

get this stuff out to his followers, to news outlets, to people completely uninvolved and contextless, and watch the bile run over everywhere because lots of people are ready to accept this narrative in comic book spaces.

have people in the replies and comments eagerly discussing how this is more proof that c+o+m+i+c+s+gate was right and they’re the only reasonable ones. how disgusting and crazy "shippers” are. how donny should keep doing his best to trigger the gays. there’s no pushback against these ideas.

and i’m so fucking stuck between wanting to defend the man, wring my hands and apologise on behalf of the other These People, because i don’t see anything justifiable in their actions, and in being... just... just so frustrated... with everything... with throwing everyone out to the dogs... and claiming that he doesn’t mean to... when he has this whole history of belittling "shippers” specifically... of making sure their public image is that of people who just don’t know what they’re talking about and are in no way worth empathising with... of only drawing attention to the aggressive ones and blocking the reasonable ones

when he literally only stands to benefit from doing all this.

this is massive amounts of free positive pr.

this makes him essentially immune to criticism of any kind.

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

i forgot! somewhere along the line, he did do something very good and disavowed association with co/mics/ga/te!

[C0M1C5G8]

why the fuck am i censoring? tumblr search stopped working decades ago.

anyway, it should come as no particular surprise why these people assumed he would side with them. not that any high profile writer who values his standing would, really. are there any? maybe there are, i’m not up to date on this drama.

i just think it’s funny - genuinely not his fault, but hilarious - that this was apparently enough to inspire a “boycott”? and it was a fart in the wind?

which is the least surprising thing ever because there is actually nothing whatsoever to hold these people’s ire to be found in venom? excluding aliens, there has been one real and present character who isn’t a white guy in 11 issues? it is actively less queer than it was before? donny has never caved to the essjaywoo pressure in any way, shape or form? what were they... thinking? it’s almost like these people are dumb?

all they've done is ensure that, without it actually doing anything, venom gets the commendation for being A Comic The Gators Don't Like?

anyway.

what do we do moving forward? i don’t know. nothing. not harassing anyone. keep being salty on tumblr. do not engage him. i think i’m more about stalling the chain reaction he’s caused than the man himself. if you’re not a “shipper”, of course, keep posting your criticism, maybe stand up for “shippers” who are being dogpiled over genuine criticism, don’t let people say This Is All Proof Of How You Can’t Have Queer Content Because Queers Are Crazy.

and be nice to mike costa.

#i feel a lot better actually #it sure took a lot of words to achieve that

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lokiarsene · 6 years ago

Text

I know modern fandom folks--mostly young adults--go into moral panics about “problematic” characters, which is really just shorthand for characters who aren’t one dimensional mouthpieces that in no way contribute to the necessary drama of a story. And I think this is a really pointless way to look at and work with pieces of fiction, especially a game like Persona 5, whose main cast of “heroes” are intentionally made to be by default non lawful.

If you look at what they do removed from context, you have the following: a group of people invade the most personal, private spaces within the human consciousness in order to trigger a dramatic mental and psychological change in someone they’ve deemed a fitting target. They do this regularly in Mementos, and are basically little more than hired mental hitmen thanks to the Phan-site giving them suggestions of who to find next. If successful, the target suffers physical and mental distress, sometimes to the point of requiring hospitalization, and a complete emotional breakdown when forced to face up to the severity of their actions.

All of that is fucking terrifying!

Most of their targets were horrible fucking people so I waste no tears or sympathy on them. And while I as a person would totally support these methods if they were possible in real life, I also recognize that to study P5′s characters and analyze them, you have to set aside your personal moral code to look at what is the story’s moral code.

And the moral code is large swathes of gray.

Nobody in the main crew of Persona 5 is purely “innocent” (in the sense of puritanical fandom’s concept of innocence). None of them. By default the PT are lawless, and if you go by the D&D morality alignment (which isn’t about how moral your actions are from an outside perspective, but what the character’s personal morals and behavior are) they are chaotic good at best.

What the PT do is justified in the sense that corruption is so deeply entrenched in society that they can’t rely on adults or the justice system to bring about true justice. The ends (change of heart) justify their means (forcing a change of heart), and that’s borderline Machiavellian thinking. What stops them from being purely Machiavellian is the fact that the PT are also driven by empathy and a sense of morality. We see them struggle against vain things like self-interest while also working to uphold their original goal of bringing society’s corrupted adults to justice.

I really think this is one of the major things that people in the P5 fandom on here don’t get, especially if they have some weird hate fascination with Akechi. It’s absolutely hypocritical to point fingers at Akechi for what he did and yet completely overlook everything the game set up to remind you, the player, that the PT are doing risky, dangerous shit and forcing themselves into someone’s consciousness. Akechi spends half the fucking game talking about how questionable their methods are! Did you think that was just put in there for shits and giggles? There’s a reason why it gets under the PT’s skin--because it’s not far from the truth!

They are forcing a change in people who, yeah, shouldn’t be doing what they’re doing, but that doesn’t change the fact that the PT are the ones conducting a mental and moral breakdown that forces a confession. And you know, when I put it like that, you know what that sounds like? Ren getting beaten in the interrogation room, drugged, and forced to sign a confession.

The game repeatedly draws lines between what the PT does for “justice” and what they’re trying to change because they’re comparable methods with different motives. But they’re still the same (or similar) methods! We can talk for days about whether this is morally justified or not, but the fact still remains that the game is drawing these lines and it is foolish to overlook them.

That’s another reason why Sae’s final words to Ren are what they are--she asks them to leave reforming society in her (and adults’) hands now. That’s the end result of all the efforts in P5: you can’t and shouldn’t take the law into your own hands. If you want to see change happen, you need to be a part of it from within. You have to contribute to the change, instead of force it. I wonder how P5R will add on to that theme or even change it, since a big thing this time around seems to be wishes/dreams coming true, “stealing” those dreams, and whether dreaming itself is even a good thing if all it does is lead you to retreating from reality. Maybe that’ll be the third semester’s plot point?

Now. I mention.... all of that because one of the other things I think people miss is how Ren isn’t some pure uwu cinnamon roll, either. He was falsely accused and unjustly labeled a criminal, but he’s also the ringleader of a group of people who invade and force changes inside people’s subconsciousnesses. He constantly forms bonds and makes deals with people on the fringes of lawfulness themselves (with very few exceptions--which is weird to me, because those exceptions stand out as functionally pointless in a story like this). He’s the Trickster, the Wild Card, the core of the PT’s spirit of rebellion. Those words and descriptions aren’t just for show, y’all. Plus his Velvet Room is him locked up in prison! It reflects his view of himself as a criminal! So if Ren sees himself as a lawless outcast, why are there people in the P5 fandom who can’t see that themselves?

I think it would’ve been far more satisfying (and more overtly establish Ren as morally gray) if Ren remembered Shido from the beginning, and had his end result goal as finding a way to Shido to make him pay. Knowing Shido’s identity from the start removes that pointless “twist” at the end about him being bad, but it also sets up a really fucking strong rebellious motive for Ren from the start. Everything he does with the PT would be about taking apart Shido’s web of informants, sycophants, and puppets without that “you can see it coming from a mile away” ~twist~ of Shido being evil all along.

There really isn’t any point in messing with Ren’s memory--it doesn’t add anything to the story. If his damaged memory is a result of trauma, it’s never addressed or handled in any way. So just get rid of it and have Ren know all along who he wants to go after, he just doesn’t know how. Which would add so much drama and tension to the already dramatically satisfying Ren/Goro stuff the game gives us. Because Goro is nothing but honest about his goals: getting revenge on the adult who ruined his life. He might be hiding his other plans, but the main motive and his main focus isn’t hidden from the PT at all.

Now just imagine the conflict that Ren would have to go through when he realized not only was Goro trying to trick them, but they were both going after Shido all along. Aren’t enemies of your enemy your friend? They were both going after the same man who ruined their fucking lives--wouldn’t that make them allies (of a sort)? And as if that weren’t enough, all the time they spent together, all they shared and learned of each other--all that Goro confided in Ren--would make for an even more dramatic and painful conflict of trying to trick Goro before he can sell them out. Because it’s not like all those moments together were for nothing. They still happened, they still mattered, they still changed Ren because it was significant enough to be a Confidant link for Ren. But wouldn’t Ren, being Ren (empathetic, determined, stubbornly selfless to a fault), want to at least try to get Goro to change his mind? Talk to him? Listen to him and still offer that hand to help? Y’know, the thing he does in Shido’s Palace?

This could have happened earlier if Ren knows his target is Shido, deduces that Shido, or someone close to him, is Goro’s target too, and does a desperate attempt to appeal to him--to ~steal his heart~--before it’s too late. And hey, they can still do a twist in the Palace and have them pretend to be enemies, since the writers love twists instead of satisfying writing like they’re a Marvel movie.

I was thinking about all that this morning, and how I actually wish Ren had remembered Shido from the start and what that would do to the story and his relationship with Goro. I don’t really know why they mess with Ren’s memory and do that whole ~remember your bonds~ thing during the interrogation, since it doesn’t make sense. Especially since they had him do that later during the Yalda fight, where it makes more sense (and it’s something the previous games have done). They try to pass it off as Ren struggling to remember the truth, but then the whole first three acts of the game are him clearly remembering everything he did since he got to Shibuya, and telling it to Sae in the interrogation room. If they just removed his damaged memory entirely (both wrt Shido, and wrt the truth serum), I think the story would be far better off for it.

I’ve always said that this game really needed a second draft and a partial rewrite, so I’m hoping that’s what P5R ends up being.

#long post #this is the ask tag

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idkwntht-blog · 6 years ago

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The Plight of the Pick Me

I’ve said this before and I’m sure I’ll say it again: Y’all hate women.

If anything, this has been made exponentially clear in the aftermath of Tristan Thompson’s cheating finally striking a nerve with Khloe Kardashian. You’ve been watching the fallout (unless your wifi got cut off or something), and you know that somehow Kylie Jenner’s (ex) best friend Jordyn Woods is bearing the brunt of the blame.

How.

This is not the first (or the second) time that we’ve been on Tristan Cheating alert. Add to that the fact that it’s super hazy if Tristan cheated on his pregnant girlfriend with Khloe to begin with -- and by hazy, I mean not hazy at all. And he cheated on Khloe when she was pregnant too.

All signs point to this man being a hoe and a unsuitable partner, but Khloe has convinced herself that Jordyn is the reason her family has been ripped apart.

Do you know why? Because even women hate women.

Let’s backtrack just a bit. Jordyn has now spoken out publicly, saying that Tristan initiated the kiss. She said there was no making out, no tongue and no sex. She alleges that she lied to the Kardashian family because she was scared. And you know what? I absolutely believe her. Why? Because the devil works hard, but Kris Jenner will always work harder.

Don’t get me wrong. The child was wrong, but the level of backlash she’s getting is unwarranted.

Back to the current promo material for Keeping Up With the Kardashians: Khloe and her posse are now online publicly bullying a 21-year-old about ruining her family, the child is getting death threats, and Tristan Thompson done fucked shit up and hahs evacuated the premises to have pasta with yet another fling. Khloe is legit online cussing Jordyn out and protecting Tristan because hEs ThE fAtHeR oF heR cHilD.

What in the “the family fucked my husband” is really going on here?

Our socialized urge to absolve men of guilt by transferring it to the women is not the only example of our inherent misogyny. We’ve also been socialized to distrust women and that rears its ugly head in many ways -- from disbelief and conspiracy theories when women come forward about rape and sexual assault to the way women love boasting that they have no women friends.

My Mimi will say to me that she doesn’t understand why I have so many female friends and why I let them in my business because when she was growing up she only had one girlfriend. All her other friends were men. I get her point, but the language is problematic af.

It’s important to acknowledge that a lot of that behavior stems from the fact that women are socialized to see other women as competition for the affections of a Good Man. We’re taught that the things we do affect how Good of a Man we end up with -- which is obviously some bullshi.

We don’t see women as allies, we see them as opponents to “outwoman” in order to snag the man.

Pick me’s are just women who still subscribe to that in a big way. There are enough of us who know that someone being a good man is less about the woman you are and exponentially more about who the man is.

We’ve been taught this myth that finding and keeping a good man is more reliant on what a woman does than a man’s character. If someone is trash, they gon be trash. Nothing you do will make them not be trash because that behavior isn’t about you.

I can guarantee that my ex is somewhere calling me a hoe. We were together for 8 years and in that time frame he cheated more times than I probably know about, got at least one girl pregnant, and emotionally abused the hell out of me. Breaking up was always the most logical decision, but I had to learn the hard way that there was nothing I could do to save that man from himself.

I stayed so long because I had put in the work, I had forgiven so much and bitten my tongue so often that he just had to get it right. He never did. I couldn’t save him, so I finally decided to save myself.

And that’s where the pick me comes in.

A pick me still fully supports the emotional labor of trying to turn a man into a Good Man. Since that’s an impossible feat, they spend a lot of time being mistreated by men who take advantage of their willingness to carry the relationship. These men are not good men, and they don’t wanna be good men, and they don’t have to be good men.

(I should mention here that no man, even a genuinely good man, is perfect. But no woman is either. )

The issue with a pick me is not that she chooses bad apple men in hopes that following Good Woman rules will make them shiny and new again. The rest of us can’t be mad that you’re taking them off our hands, you’re honestly doing the Lord’s work.

The problem with a pick me is that she’s fucking PISSED at the rest of us who refuse to abide by those rules. She stans for T.I. and Tiny’s relationship and she defends Rasheeda in the IG comments. She’s blasting Future, screaming “fuck Ciara” at the top of her lungs until the end of time. Why? Because Ciara said fuck this bullshit and found a good man and sis is a ride or die.

“Why leave a sure thing for a maybe?” they ask. But if the real sure thing is simply that you’re just going to keep getting hurt and you’ll never actually be happy, maybe starts looking a lot more attractive.

She probably still doesn’t see why Offset crashing Cardi’s set to apologize for cheating on her was a problem. The fact that Offset cheated on Cardi, that Jay Z cheated on Beyonce is literally all the proof one should need to realize that a man’s behavior is not rooted in who his woman is.

To be mad at other women for being their true selves and still getting chosen because you’re following these rules and still barely happy is as “I hate women” as Mike Pence. A man will never chose you if you’re not what he wants and there’s really no way to change that. Pretending will only get you but so far. So be yourself and be happy, sis.

#khloe kardashian #kourtney kardashian #jordyn woods #kylie jenner #blackgirlmagic #red table talk #gossip TMZ BScott DMV celebnews TI Tinyy Rasheeda

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chonkyspacekitten · 4 years ago

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You are missing their point entirely. This isn't about "refusing to remove posts". This is about people growing out of their bigotry. And yes everybody is bigoted. Everybody. Even you have bigoted thoughts that you don't realize yet, subconsciously.

It's literally about challenging thoughts, learning and moving the hell on. Nothing is set in stone. You have to do this every second of your life too btw. Challenging your thoughts. You don't just snap out of your programmed believes when you become more educated on things.

How would you feel if every second of your life was on blast? I'm sure you've thought or said problematic shit before....You just didn't post it lmao. Now that doesn't automatically make you a bad person at all if you do have certain thoughts....you just gotta catch yourself and move on. Try not to do it again.

I've been on this blog since 2015.....I'm now nearly 22. you really think I got the time to go through my hundreds of thousands of posts to look for something that might offend people? Please. I'd rather take my chances getting outed for some shit I don't even remember. I'm not gonna make a new blog just to appease people who don't matter. This is my blog.

And you know what? Couple years ago I actually tried to look through my archive for shit I may deem problematic now...but you know what? Fuck it. I have too many posts...and a life. Unlike the people who are bored and dig up shit maliciously.

Look i get what you're sayin and you're right no one has to forgive anything.....but going out of your way to find old posts other people may have made, just to out them.... isn't in good faith. "Minorites are allowed to come to you in bad faith"..... We are not special unicorns who get special treatment or anything lmao we need to treat each other with respect and we don't get to do fucked up shit.

I know you're what, 16? And I promise I don't mean that in a condescending way. I just mean you just are now getting a grasp on your politics and want to be the best ally you can be. And many people( even myself at some point at like 14) go through this phase of black and white morality after they, for lack of better words, become "woke".....but I'm sorry. This just isn't it. People learn. People change. As time goes on and you get more experience with your politics..... you will learn the world around you just isn't so black and white.

Trying to stir shit is not a good way to get your point across in any manner. It's just drama causing and not genuine.

Now like I said on my other response to the original post, it's your perogative to not forgive as you please.

But I must say...if we just cancel everybody because they may have said something wrong once, they apologize and actually learn from the experience..haven't done it again.....what's the point of them apologizing?? If an apology doesn't matter and cancel culture is gonna tie that to them forever for them to get harrased over lmao? What's the point of digging shit up??? If an apology doesn't matter? People like that only want "woke points". It just makes people....not want to change out of spite. And ruins the cause. Cancel culture is bullshit and takes away from minorites cause. Causes more harm than good.

all of us have been unlearning problematic things - it’s really malicious and in bad faith to purposefully dig up old posts by someone that do not reflect their current opinions and attack them over it out of context

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slingsendarrows · 7 years ago

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I have coloreds in my family😒😒

Let me preface by saying Duncan, British Columbia is a predominantly white city. So much so when a person of color, especially a black person, moves into town the attention and active noticing is palpable. This is not necessarily an issue because headphones exist, my playlist is fire and my ignore game is always on 💯. I stare right ahead and go about my business as if my blackness does not matter (it does) and make no obeisance with regards to comforting the Whites with my presence.

My race experiences in western Canada have been more about willful ignorance than stupid hate. I’ve moved in majority white spaces most of my life and on most days, we good. I don't feel anxiety or tension with regards to the space I occupy and how I move in it. However, some experiences leave you questioning your senses and the limitations of logic and reason.

I recently took a part-time job at the local liquor store. Needless to say, I am the only black employee and in addition to the First Nations lady, the only other person of color. Today a customer dropped by to make his selection of alcoholic purchases, and as I was ringing him up, he decided to strike up a conversation. Most of these interactions involve asking, "Is that all for you? Did you find what you needed today?" Followed by bland responses such as "Yes, I did. Thank you!" and "What dreary weather we're having."

But today was different. This disheveled gentleman started off by saying, “So, how long have you been in Duncan?” Subtext: “You’re a Black I haven’t seen before. I make it a point of knowing all the Blacks because you know, I’m a White who is down with Blacks and I need all Blacks to know I am racially/culturally aware. At first my dumbass was unaware of what was happening and figured this was going to be regular cashier/customer banter, so I responded, "The first time or this time around? I just moved back to the island." Which of course he ignored, barrelling onward to his main point, "There are not a lot of colored people in town, and I usually know when there are new dark people." That's when I clued into the fact I was dealing with a particular level of white ignorance and casual racism.

"I grew up in Texas," I responded. His face changed slightly, disappointed I hadn’t provided a more exotic point of origin. A probability I instinctively gleaned from his "dark" choice of words. Normally, I am happy to share my heritage, but I was not going to give this White the satisfaction of other-ing me. Because let's face it, he does not give a shit about where I am from really. He just wants to make sure I fit in his ready-made box: black, dark, Africa, got it, I know things. This was not my first rodeo.

Like most of his kind in these situations, he would be damned if he couldn't relate and show he understood this Black. He is always, after all, for the Blacks. So he found another path to connect. "My son is married to a black woman from Texas. She's the same color, dark as you." Why does it always boil down to color? Because that is the whole-ass point of these Whites doing this shit. They want you to know, to really see, that they don't care about color by pointing out your color and assuming all it represents, meaning they care about color. Like I said, racial biases, like racism, are inherently stupid. "Which part of Texas?" he forged ahead.

"Dallas." At this point, all smiles were gone, and I just needed him to get the fuck out of my face. But it was a slow morning, and the universe often conspires to test my patience. "That's where she's from!" his face brightening up excitedly. Dammit, dammit, fuck! I should have said White Settlement. I saw his next statement coming like we all saw the Drake-secret-baby-blow-up coming. "Do you know (her name)?" he continued. "Dallas is a large city. Many people live in Dallas," I tried, offering him a logical life raft in my most Marvin voice (R.I.P. Alan Rickman). He laughed it off like it was a minor inconvenience. As if that would not impede my ability to know of this particular Black. Forget the geographical size of Dallas and the population therein. Let's consider age group, peer circles, or time period. When was she in Dallas? For how long? Common sense would not deter this White. He acted, as most Whites of his kind are prone to, as if there is a newsletter distributed to all Blacks announcing a weekly prayer circle, led by Oprah with Beyoncé directing the choir (if only).

Luckily another customer appeared and he departed with, "You should look her up on Facebook," laughing merrily as he exited the store. And hopefully from the rest of my life. I frustratingly mused over all the petty and trolling retorts I could have used. "Do you know Mr. Rogers, he's a white man that filled up my gas this morning? He lives in Duncan. You should look him up!" NOT ALL BLACK PEOPLE KNOW EACH OTHER, WHITES!!!.

The fact that this has happened to me more times than I can count is fucking frustrating. And yet, the Whites keep doing this shit and expecting me to skip along to this false play of racial-wokeness as if I am not aware it is bullshit, disingenuous, and lazy. But I have to be polite and understanding. Take their hand and let them know, I understand they did not mean to be so racially stupid and inept, and accept this level of daftness because they mean well, or their old, and oh, did I mention this town is so white. I’m done with all that. Now I am trolling the Whites as a public service. The only way I figure they will see how ridiculous this ultimately is if I am just as ridiculous. You're welcome, Whites!

After such experiences, I often conduct a social experiment by sharing it with the black and white people in my life. The moment I start this story, black people already know where I am going and how it plays out. We empathize for the moment, chagrined by the prevalence of such idiocy, and shrug, knowing it is unlikely to change and tomorrow will be more of the same.

White allies, however, will go out of the way to justify the behavior of their compadres. Whether it's assuming all black people know each other, touching our hair, or using, albeit poorly, the latest black vernacular. Suddenly I need to consider the possibility of dementia, limited interactions with black people, and such an overwhelming fascination with my latest hairstyle they can't resist putting their measly hands on it. The onus is on me to give racially ignorant Whites the benefit of the doubt. Fuck my feelings. Fuck my experiences.

I understand the desire to explain away these behaviors. They don't want to believe this is indeed problematic. They don't want to consider their past actions and similar faux pas could be construed as casual racism. They are not racist. You need to believe them. And if you think this White's specific act is racist, then oh gosh, have I been racist all this time? Yes. The answer is yes.

The fact that you feel I should cater to and understand where you and/or they are coming from more than they need to respect my personal boundaries and not treat my personhood as an extension of their racial awareness/curiosity exposes the arrogance of racial power structures. And that is the problem. That will always be the problem.

I should make it easy for you. I shouldn't complain too much. It’s not a big deal. You wouldn't mind if a stranger put their hands on your hair. As if you can equate our experiences in this larger white supremacist world.

But you have to take responsibility for your part in the system. You may not wear white hoods, march in the streets, hate black people, or burn down churches, but you are perpetuating this dearth of racial understanding when you expect me to justify why strangers shouldn't feel warranted to touch my FUCKING HAIR!!! Why isn't my discomfort and annoyance enough? Why do I have to further rationalize my frustration all while comforting you and parroting back your desire not to be seen as racist?

I honestly wish more people cared about not actually being racist than being perceived as racist. You expect me to educate you on blackness while ignoring my individuality, not to mention Google has been around for over 20 years now. Google it!

You want me to decode why Midler's racist statement was largely well-meant because females have historically struggled similarly to black people? How? Where? When? Were white women stolen, raped, separated from husbands, children, mothers, and fathers enmasse and forced to raise their oppressor's children? Were black women complicit in slavery's stronghold as they condoned the violation of their vagina sisters believing themselves the epitome of beauty and pure womanhood? Was white history erased like black history to the point where a disturbing number of people believe black history begins with slavery, as if Africa is not the birthplace of humanity and we are all descendants thereof? Was it black women’s tears that sent many black men to the lynching tree? Are OBGYNs institutionally disinclined to believe the pain for white expectant mothers as they do black mothers? (Ask Serena Williams). Is there a pernicious angry white woman trope that seeks to dismiss white women's voices? Does the failure of white communities rest solely on the shoulders of white women as does the failure of black communities on black women? Has the feminist movement historically diminished and ignored the unique experiences of white women as it has black women? My color- and vagina-based experiences are not one and the same. And no, your age does not excuse your ignorance and racism, Bette! It really doesn’t.

Stop requiring I make you feel comfortable with my existence and kindly cease and desist this need to justify the causal racism I have had to navigate all my life. Just say, I don't know what that's like (because you don't) and/or I am sorry you had to deal with that. Your desire to explain away these behaviors by fellow Whites just shows how little you actually care about my individual experiences and how much more you would like to comfort and delude yourself into believing faced with the same set of facts we are all enduring the same experiences. No, the fuck we are not!

It's okay to say you don't know or understand. Diminishing my experiences because in your heart of hearts you want to believe that this racist experience was well-intentioned adds an unnecessary burden to an already burdensome life.

White privilege isn't about freedom from hardship. We all have difficulties and challenges in our lives. But we also all share certain levels of privilege (i.e. being able to read and write, having a job, access to health care, ability to travel and explore, eating regularly, clean water, etc.). White privilege is about exemption from specific experiences by virtue of skin color. Nobody questions your nationality even if you are a first-generation whatever; nobody assumes your behaviors and attitudes the minute they see you; nobody is worried about you being a terrorist based on your religious beliefs (can we talk about The Crusades or more recently, colonial evangelism?). You are you. I just want to be me.

Actual knowledge is achieved when we become comfortable in the disquieting discomfort of our limited understanding. I don't know everything. As such, I have learned to simply say, “I don't know enough about this to have an opinion.” And that is okay. Let’s all do the same.

#the whites #black experience #monolithtour

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thequietoftheroom · 7 years ago

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Hi. Is this thing on? Lauren Graham said in her new book that we should write more so this is my attempt at that. Oh by the way, I started reading again. I write these for myself so why don’t I just use “we”, but that will probably be weird reading it back. I’ve read Feminasty: The Complicated Woman’s Guide To Surviving The Patriarchy Without Drinking Herself To Death, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice On Love And Life From Dear Sugar, and now I’m almost done with Talking As Fast As I Can: From Gilmore Girls To Gilmore Girls. I’ve gone through several lists to pick out the books I plan on reading in the next few months, at least if I can afford them, but I like to think the books I ultimately bought found me and not the other way around. I have been read cover to cover, my soul pierced, and my mind opened. Of course fiction books have a similar effect but I never thought I would be interested in what people had to say about this grand thing called life and I learned that I cared a whole lot, not because I wanted to model myself after them but because I care about people and reading their explanations on life is like suddenly remembering they’re my best friends and they’re just catching me up on little secrets that come packed with nuggets of wisdom.

I got myself into several situations I never planned on getting myself into even though the red flags were there and even though the people very openly said “Hey, this is exactly who I am”, but you know how your mind works when you have anxiety and depression. You start to convince yourself the puzzle pieces you find yourself assembling are actually part of the picture even though they don’t fit because deep down you’re trying to finish the puzzle of your life and no one is giving you quite the right pieces. In other words, and to quote my friend Allie, I drank a nice glass of “dumb bitch” juice. Which lead me to want to consider joining a dating site sooner than I planned. I know these things take time but it’s been 3 days and I’ve sent 40 likes (I think that’s how okcupid works idk) and practically got 0 back. Here’s why that sucks. On okcupid they focus strongly on your personality and beliefs. So someone not only saw my face and said “yeesh no thanks” they took the time to get to know the information about myself I put on there and were still like “yikes I don’t think so”. So all in all this was an experiment in derailing my self esteem and increasing my depression. What crazy color will I dye my hair to suddenly avoid dealing with my problems? Or maybe I’ll give myself another buzzcut. Stay tuned!

On a serious note, a lot of the stories I’m reading made me SO relieved that at 27 I’m still very much single and have only had 1 relationship which wasn’t that great (it was both of our faults). There were so many stories and anecdotes about young love being messy and about true commitment coming in your 40′s. Honestly, idk if I can wait that long. If NASA and the CIA and the FBI were like “you have been randomly selected to test mating with androids” I’d be like “yes please but can I choose their face”. I mean realistically I’m in the worst position to be in a relationship. For one, I don’t have much money saved because I’m sadly addicted to ordering things online, most of which are either useful to me or to my job (and no I don’t get reimbursed but I think the prospect of waiting for something in the mail to kill time is momentarily greater than the prospect of having more money later). I still live at home. Obviously, that’s a hella yikes and tbf I’m reading to get the fuck out of here but {see A: i have no money} and I have no one to move in with. I keep doing extensive research but I learned that in 2018 everywhere is problematic. So as much as my love for NYC is slowly fading I also realize this is it for me! I’m a city gal who needs to be surrounded by diversity. I can’t do suburbs and I can’t do living near more than 50% white people. I’ll die. I know that’s discriminatory but we are in the dawn of BBQ Beckys so can you blame me when the majority of white people keep voting against my existence. So I’m stuck. Every once in a while I look up “most LGBT friendly places to live” or “least racist places to live” and hope there’s a magical place with both but there isn’t (especially since, hello, twinks are hella racist). But I’ve literally cuddled my body pillow to death: it broke apart and I need a new one. And I learned I can’t fall asleep unless I’m cuddling it because I’m that lonely.

Everything in life is so complicated. I hate not being out at work but at the same time everyone there is ignorant so I wouldn’t be any more comfortable having them walking on eggshells around me. I love the individuals though and sometimes I feel very motherly or big brotherly towards them and they make me REALLY love work. But I want to be me. And I want to get rid of my legal name. Every time someone calls me John I die inside. Sometimes I don’t even respond because I have to be like “oh shit that’s me”. Can I change my name now? Probably, just have to have the money and redo all my paperwork at work? Will i? No because then either a) the individuals will have to learn my new name and their lives are confusing as fuck as it is or b) i keep my current legal name as a nickname but then it will get confusing for paperwork. I don’t like inconveniencing people that much even for something super important to me. I’ll just die inside until I save enough money, do my last few undergrad psyche classes, and then get into grad school. So like in 5 years, knowing me.

I’ve developed some little crushes here and there but most of the time it’s people that live out of reach or are straight or bottoms or any combination of them or I can just tell they will never like me in that way. So honestly, why bother. I miss the days when I didn’t care about this and the only thing plaguing my mind was what show I should marathon while building in minecraft.

Speaking of games, I play a lot with my friend Sal. He’s like my best friend which is weird because he was my boss once on a minecraft server but now I can’t ever think of him that way? He’s more like an older brother now, even though he’s younger than me. We talk a lot and also enjoy a lot of silence, and introduce each other to different games and shows. But mostly games. We’re both obsessed with 7 Days To Die and I check constantly for news about the update (no set dates for Alpha 17 AHHHH). To fill that void we started playing Fortnite, which I know a lot of people make fun of but it’s actually fun. Here’s a fun fact about me: I can’t take serious games serious so if there’s no building element, or fun element, or explosives I can blow things up with, I won’t do it. I have 0 competitive bones in this body. I like to have fun. That’s why Fortnite is perfect because it is a competitive FPS type game but it’s also a parody of that genre and it’s so whimsical. Save The Day is a lot like 7 Days To Die so that’s been fun. Listen, when you play a game with someone and you beat it, especially a survival game, it’s such a relief and you learn so much and it’s like you went on a literal adventure with that person. Did Sal and I actually get stranded on an island full of mutants and cannibals? No but that’s what it actually felt like after finishing The Forest because it was that real for us. My love for Pocket Camp is fading because it’s the same stuff, new textures. I mean the prospect of having a cute camp is fun sometimes (fun enough for me to spend way too much money on it. HELP!) but now it’s like “oh they just stand there and I don’t really do anything”. ALTHOUGH they are saying that now they are adding a LOT more gameplay to the point that you need at least 1gb of space of the game so I’m excited. I’m still obsessed with minecraft so there’s nothing new there.

Here’s something weird. I spent much of my time, when I identified as gay, being annoyed at gay stereotypes and mostly twinks being like “if you don’t do x,y,z you might as well be straight”, so much so that now that I came out as queer those things still bother me and I have to be like “it’s okay that’s not you anymore you literally figured this out which is why you’re this person”. That’s how I should introduce myself tbh “Hi I’m the Q in LGBTQ”. I don’t care about fitting in but because of my lack of in person friends sometimes I worry that maybe I should care, just a little. I’m so tempted to try Tinder just for that but then I think of all the people who have Tinder that live in this building and I’m like God that is a huge mistake. I need a huge life change. I need someone to come in and shake up my life but no one has volunteered. I’m kind of regretting thinking of all those stupid romantic things like “Oh I want my future boyfriend to teach my how to ride a bike :)” “I want my future boyfriend to take me traveling” “I want my future boyfriend to serenade me”. I’ll just become a full on Capricorn and teach myself everything, travel the world alone, and serenade my goddamn self.

Speaking of which again, can my depression like.. not? I was so into learning and practicing chords daily and I just stopped? Like my motivation was like “It’s been a nice 1 week. back to not caring about anything again” I mean I started to try to learn Burn and Satisfied from Hamilton (well, “learn”) so I at least have interest and I still listen to classical music and jazz to light that fire under my ass but still. I’m just going to do what I always do and restart from lesson 1 and hope I make it to 3 although my extensive research of chords has already put me at an advantage for lesson 3, which is chords. Of course I would go and try to learn something in an unstructured manner because I have a problem with routine and authority even when that authority is me.

I should write me. Which reminds me I was going to write about this one dream I had on my regular blog. See ya!

#personal #2018

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kashuan · 8 years ago

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In which I finally write a long ass post about all my grievances with the never ending shenanigans I see in the Iliad tag because I can’t take it anymore and needed to get it out tbh

Things y’all really need to stop doing, in no particular order: • Treating Clytemnestra like a Bad Bitch Feminist Icon #goals because she killed a character you don’t like. Know what she also was? Pretty hypocritical. Half her motive for killing Agamemnon is the mistreatment of their daughter, but guess what, Clytemnestra then goes on to treat 2/3 of her remaining children pretty much like shit. I suppose you could consider Electra to be an unreliable narrator in terms of her relating how coldly she was treated at home, but the facts don’t lie in that Cly let her new hubby Aegisthus pass Electra off to be married to some peasant so that she and her children would die without any power and wouldn’t be able to take revenge. It’s pretty indisputable though that her treatment of her son Orestes was flat out terrible. As a child, Orestes has to go into exile, as it’s implied Aegisthus would have had him killed otherwise. Cly just Lets This Happen. When Orestes returns to murder both her and Aegisthus as instructed by Apollo, Clytemnestra entreats him with a set of pretty flimsy excuses. Here’s a part from The Libation Bearers:

CLYTAEMESTRA Have you no regard for a parent's curse, my son?

ORESTES You brought me to birth and yet you cast me out to misery.

CLYTAEMESTRA No, surely I did not cast you out in sending you to the house of an ally.

ORESTES I was sold in disgrace, though I was born of a free father. CLYTAEMESTRA Then where is the price I got for you? ORESTES I am ashamed to reproach you with that outright.

Furthermore, she attempts to manipulate Orestes by entreating him to spare her because she is his mother, the one who nursed him, yet we know that this wasn’t actually done by her, and since a young age she has been completely absent in his life otherwise. When Orestes finally does kill her, this girl cannot even let it go at that but essentially makes sure he’s haunted by demons for the rest of his life. Talk about #petty, not even Agamemnon took it that far. So this character who's set up as like Badass Mama Bear is actually….not. Post Iphigenia at Aulis Clytemnestra is actually pretty self-serving, but not in the sort of way that should be admired. I think Clytemnestra is a great flawed character. Please no more ‘my perfect queen deserved better’ posts. I’m beggin’ ya. Read more than a summary of like 1/4th of her history and then let’s talk. • So I’m gonna follow this up with my long stewing Agamemnon Apologist rant (you: yikes me: Buckle Up). I’d like to begin this by saying we can all definitely agree that this man is a garbageboy stinkman. No arguing that. I love a good ‘Agamemnon is an asshole’ joke as much as the next guy. HOWEVER, when, when will I be free from posts that act like this character is honestly so completely one dimensional, that jokes about it comprise literally 98% of the tag. Where are the actually interesting meta posts that consider things about him beyond JUST being a dumpster of a man. For example, we know he was at least a half-decent bro. In book 4 of the Iliad, Menelaus basically scrapes his knee and Agamemnon essentially calls a T.O. on the entire war because HIS BROTHER, OK!!! Like yeah, he also includes a hilariously selfish line in that part that Menelaus can’t bite it because then he will be disgraced when he goes home, but the point stands. Further evidence of these having a tight relationship can be found in the Iphigenia at Aulis play. After the two of them have had a savage as hell argument about whether or not to sacrifice Iphigenia, taking some serious pot shots at each other, they have this exchange

MENELAUS I’ve changed, and I’ve changed because I love you, brother. I’ve changed because of my love for my mother’s son. It’s a natural thing for men with decent hearts to do the decent thing. AGAMEMNON I praise you, Menelaus for these unexpected words, proper words, words truly worthy of you. Brothers fight because of lust and because of greed in their inheritance. I hate such relationships; they bring bitter pain to all.

I think Agamemnon’s relationship with Menelaus is actually one of the more interesting ones among the cast because he is both in a way protective yet also very controlling of his brother. Here and Here are a couple of fantastic essays on their dynamic and the way it differs from source to source. While on the subject of the play Iphigenia at Aulis and my favorite problematic fav getting the short end of the stick from fandom, can I just say that the majority of retellings, posts, and so on about this particular event ARE TERRIBLE? I’m so tired of seeing it depicted as though Agamemnon just killed his daughter like some afterthought, possibly while twirling his mustache like a cartoon villain. There is so, SO much more nuance to that scene and it kills the man when I see how no one ever discusses it in favor of just saying lol Agamemnon’s a dick, so anyway. Iphigenia herself is actually one of the best sources we have for the fact Agamemnon probably had more than a grand total of zero good traits. The relationship between the two is obviously a very close one and on the whole we get the sense that, aside from the whole killing his daughter thing (ya) he was actually a good dad. Like an inverse Clytemnestra :,). The scene where Iphigenia first speaks with Agamemnon is particularly telling of what was probably their normal relationship. IPHIGENIA What’s wrong, daddy? You say you’re happy to see me but your face looks worried! AGAMEMNON A king, darling, a General is always worried. IPHIGENIA Make your worries go away, daddy. From now on, think only of me. AGAMEMNON Yes, my darling. I shall think of nothing else but you from now on IPHIGENIA Well then, get rid of this ugly frown from the face that I love so much! AGAMEMNON There! Oh, what a joy it is to see you, Iphigeneia! IPHIGENIA But… but look at you, father! Full of joy and yet tears flow from your eyes…AGAMEMNON Yes, dear… because our separation will be a long one.

Is he still a completly awful man for having sacrificed her? Yes. Completely. But here’s a few factors that play into this decision that I never see anyone, ever, mention: -It is Agamemnon’s intention to send Iphigenia away, to save herself, at the last minute, but Menelaus intercepts the letter meant to warn her of her fate. -Charismatic Odysseus has a good deal of control over the soldiers at this point and was probably looking to further increase his popularity among them (a consistent theme-- see: when he’s ready to shank his bff Diomedes just to be the only one to bring home a trophy from Troy instead of both of them). One can imply that if Agamemnon didn’t go through it, he would have done it himself -- and Agamemnon knew that (he mentions as much). -Gods are terrifying, my dudes. Treating it as though he could have just said ‘naw’ to Artemis’ order for Iphigenia’s death and gone home expresses a pretty fundamental lack of understanding how the Greeks feared the gods and just what the stakes likely already were by that point. Artemis was already pissed that he killed one of her sacred deer so it wasn’t as though she was just like ‘you can either sacrifice your daughter or go home unscathed’. I’ve only seen one other retelling accurately capture what very likely would have happened if Agamemnon didn’t go through with it: Artemis likely would have retaliated at the disrespect against the men and probably his family. Furthermore, the soldiers had already been stranded at Aulis for months on end-- a mutiny was exceedingly likely if they found out what was going on, one in which where they probably would have harmed not only him but also Clytemnestra and baby Orestes who came with Iphigenia. These two facts are more conjecture, but it’s a pretty plausible estimate and I’ve seen several scholarly essays arrive at the same conclusion. If you’d actually like to see a depiction of Agamemnon that is both incredibly sympathetic yet does not shy away either from showing how terrible what he did was, please watch the 1977 Iphigenia movie. One of my favorite movies in general. Honestly I feel I could make a giant essay out of My Feelings on this particular subject alone so I’ll wrap it now because I have a lot of other stuff I want to get to, though I’ll include one final pet peeve: the amount of people who call Agamemnon trash because he was Sexist. You know who else was a Meninist? Every single goddamn man in ancient Greece. Okay, I’ll give a pass to characters like Patroclus and Hector when it comes to the women front because all we see is them being pretty decent. But like. Otherwise??? Sure, just because everyone is that way doesn’t make it any less shitty-- I’m not arguing that. But it’s also like reading a novel focused on an entire group of mobsters, but calling out only one of them as Problematic for being a criminal. Like, my dudes... TL;DR: Agamemnon is a dick jokes are funny and completely deserved but throw in a few posts here and there that actually suggest you might have read more than just Book 1 of the Iliad and nothing else. Character depth is your friend. • That said, for the love of god, stop writing Menelaus like he’s just Agamemnon 2.0. A lot of adaptions do this because they don’t seem to know what to do with his character (I’m lookin’ @ u most of all Troy though he suffers some form of this in almost all film adaptions...) Which is a shame because Menelaus as a character is a lot more (and better) than that. From what we do know, Menelaus was actually (relatively speaking) a pretty chill guy and one of the least problematic out of these assholes (y’know, minus that scene I mentioned above with Iphigenia, but hey...at least he admits he fucked up?). We know that Helen voluntarily chose him to be her husband. We know that Helen wanted to return home to him by the time the Iliad takes place. We know they got back together after the war and more or less lived happily ever after. So why do I keep seein’ all these posts about Helen hating him or about him being another warmonger like Agamemnon. Menelaus was a Decent Dude. Leave him alone :,| • Speaking of Helen, how many times am I going to read “feminist” retellings where she either is totally indifferent to or even wanted the war to happen, where she enjoys watching men die, where she ~reclaims~ her demigoddess power and is A Figure To Be Feared. What Helen is this??? Because in the Iliad, Helen is remorseful af about all the people she’s indirectly responsible for the deaths of. There are more ways to build up and strengthen female characters than to make them just like the men they despise. Just. Saying. I get that people want to free her from the damsel in distress role she’s essentially relegated to, me too, but that is NOT the way to do it. Girl can be strong willed but still have a great amount of empathy. As with essentially every other bullet point above, please just give these characters more than one dimension. • Also, how many times am I gonna have to read about The One Fellow Female (Helen or Clytemnestra usually) who believes Cassandra’s prophecies in order to emphasize like, girl power, or that the author feels sorry for Cass and want to project that onto some other character or something. Dude, she was cursed not to be believed. PERIOD. BY ANYONE. There was no clause in the curse for like “except someone who really thinks you’re swell”. It’s tragic because there are no exceptions. No one believes her. NO ONE. THE END. • Achilles was bi. Bi af (by modern standards, of course). See: Iphigenia, Deidamia, Briseis, Polyxena, Penthesilea… I totally get this movement of wanting to call Achilles gay because for so long he and Patroclus have gotten the ‘just guys bein’ dudes’ treatment from scholars. I think it’s absolutely fantastic that potential element of his character is more widely recognized and accepted now. However, I can’t help but get these really uncomfy biphobia feels when I read all the posts about how gay he is, as if liking women makes his relationship with Patroclus less legitimate. That was one thing about TSOA which also really disappointed me-- it had to pull that yaoi fanfic trope of ‘girls are so icky and gross’ in order to further sell how convinced you should be of the same sex relationship. It’s just, Bad And Not Good. Finally, I feel like y’all are so busy hating Agamemnon and shoving off every single bad character trait into existence onto him, that Achilles is always ultimately depicted as this #relatable teen who did nothing wrong except get a little too upset when his bf died. May I remind you of just a few things Achilles also did: -Indirectly got a lot of men killed by refusing to fight during his quarrel with Agamemnon -Had 12 innocent children killed when Patroclus died -Basically everything involving Troilus. From wikipedia: [Achilles] is struck by the beauty of both [Polyxena and Troilus] and is filled with lust. It is the fleeing Troilus whom swift-footed Achilles catches, dragging him by the hair from his horse. The young prince refuses to yield to Achilles' sexual attentions and somehow escapes, taking refuge in the nearby temple. But the warrior follows him in, and beheads him at the altar before help can arrive. The murderer then mutilates the boy's body. Some pottery shows Achilles, already having killed Troilus, using his victim's severed head as a weapon as Hector and his companions arrive too late to save him. The mourning of the Trojans at Troilus' death is great. -Just straight up fucking murders a guy for making fun of him after he just murdered someone else. "Achilles, who fell in love with the Amazon [Penthesilea] after her death, slew Thersites for jeering at him" I’m sure there’s more receipts like this. So like. Can we throw in a couple posts now and then among the Agamemnon ones about Achilles, who was Problematic for far more reasons than just sulking in his tent :,) ...Okay. I think that’s it. FOR NOW. I guess I’ll end this by saying half of this is just my own opinion and I recognize that people can interpret and retell these stories and characters however they want to. It’s when it becomes so consistent however that people treat it like it is The One True Canon when it’s actually not that my jimmies get a bit rustled. [/END RANT]

#the iliad

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