#I think I’m just an unhappy person. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

victorianboyfriend · 2 years

Text

i don’t think i can do this anymore seriously

#i need to finish my degree or whatever…. but im so fucking sick of this! it never fucking ends!#I want to have just a regular job and maybe it sucks but when it’s done for the day it’s done #but i need a degree to do anything that might be marginally fulfilling and full time!#i mean I don’t but I’m Supossed to get a degree #and idk what my parents would think if I didn’t…#I mean maybe if I got a full time job they’d be ok with that but they’d be mad at me…#I CANNOT drop out of college it’s just not an option but I miss last summer when I was taking CC classes online and working…#i do like learning i just can’t deal with the full time college thing…#what if I feel like ‘I just need to get past this point in my life’ forever.#I have this fantasy about moving back to near my hometown where if I worked part time I could probably (?) afford a small apartment by mysel #and doing whatever and maybe taking a couple classes at a time #but that’s not how I’m supposed to do things!! even if it’s a perfectly reasonable and fairly common path #and I probably wouldn’t be happy with that either would I #I think I’m just an unhappy person.#p #i need! to change something but I can’t really change anything #unless I go full mental breakdown and like get hospitalized i at least need to finish the semester

1 note · View note

emry-stars-art · 1 year

Text

Whumptober day 6: conditioning/mind control/forced to hurt someone else (full under the cut)

Find the royal ay masterpost here

No version of Neil/Nathaniel is easy to break - there’s a lot of persuasion involved in Evermore Kingdom’s quest for their next butcher to do his work without a fight.

(Or POV you’re realizing the young butcher is just as scary as you’ve heard but for vastly different reasons than the rumors imply)

145 notes · View notes

leonardalphachurch · 2 months

Text

sometimes i remember that most north fans don’t write him as an absolute insane person ethical manipulative girlfriend style and i’m like. what is he even then… just a pleasant white man? you know what. more power to you if you need a pleasant white man for a blorbo but god that could not be me

#most ppl write north as just like. a nice person i think.#i know him though. i know him.#like nork is SUCH a popular ship (at least like. historically) and every time i see it i go ‘haha that would never work’#and then i remember. oh right most ppl write these guys as like. just kind of decent dudes.#nork to me is like. worlds first ethical manipulative girlfriend (not actually ethical) x worlds first manic pixie dream Nice Guy #who both have literally no identity of their own and sure aren’t actually giving each other one #they’d be so miserable…#constant battle of ‘can’t you see what a sacrifice i’m making for you’#neither of them would ever admit anything was wrong. they both think they can fix it forever #just slowly falling apart. it’s fine :) they’re fine :)#n\orkington is even more baffling #i genuinely couldn’t even imagine the dynamic there #like i know it’s pfl uwu baby wash but even still #he’d be so miserable they’d treat him like shit ToT #oh god north/wash. wash run. WASH RUN.#noooo wash my little chameleon you can’t stay with him he’s going to make you his baby bird #he wouldn’t even realize ToT he wouldn’t even know why he’s unhappy. oh god. wash RUNNNNNNN #i just don’t think north should be in a relationship basically #‘what about churchnorth’ okay. let’s be real. do we really think church should be being in a relationship???#their toxicity perfectly cancels each other out into like. something that’s actually good for both of them #wraps all the way back around. horseshoe theory.#okay this has turned into pure rambling. it’s 4am

16 notes · View notes

mossy-paws · 9 months

Text

personal art

My Little Mind Space

23 notes · View notes

britishdisasters · 6 days

Text

…

#why are people taking Phil saying he’s bisexual now seriously?!#he immediately followed it up to clarify that he’s not bisexual #some people are making it a dangender thing #and while I do believe in dangender I don’t think that’s applicable to this situation #like yeah I agree with y’all being attracted to a nonbinary person makes you at least a bit bisexual #but he clarified he still identifies as gay #so why are some people taking his words out of context #this is how the context gets lost for posterity #like an example being everyone remembering Phil as having said #‘ marriage is just a piece of paper’#and not what he actually said which is ‘marriage is just a piece of paper if it’s an unhappy one’#people are gifing right up until the ‘I’m bisexual’ part and not the clarification #and people are taking it seriously #thats what’s going to last for years in the fandom you realize??#ffs y’all are setting us up for 4 years from now there being phannies who genuinely believe he’s bisexual bc they’ve seen those gifs around #but they haven’t seen the video #and theyve seen people talking about how Phil being attracted to Dan makes him bi and ‘see this gif proves it’#🙄🙄🙄 shortsighted posting #this isn’t a subtweet of anyone in particular btw #mine #dnp #not for reblogging

2 notes · View notes

allegoryofthebeast · 11 months

Text

I was kinda blinded by the bittersweet euphoria of the Spider-Man 2 ending but I saw a post talking about MJ and Peter needing couples therapy and yeah they really fucking do

#I feel more comfortable ranting in the tags #like I’m whispering. lol.#just thinking about what MJ said as scream like genuinely. I think she’d be a lot happier not being with Peter #bc it sounded like 😭 and in the first game a really significant portion of her unhappiness comes from Peter as a person #and not like Peter as Spider-man bc… Peter IS spider-man. you can’t really separate the two #and if Spider-Man makes MJ kinda miserable… peter… also does #I just genuinely think they should be best friends forever unspeakable unbreakable love but not date #like it can be that easy (not easy)#just like hmmmm. hmmm. peter and mj are just very very different and experience life so differently #spider man 2 #insomniac spider man #spider-man 2 spoilers

8 notes · View notes

phoxxes · 4 months

Text

i think you people need to lose the idea that being an aggressive/angry person = being miserable and unhappy because i’m sick of it. there are more ways to exist in this world than constantly being happy and upbeat and doormats to other people

#phox.txt #i saw a video where a ferryman refused to let on a truck that got there late and there was a comment about how he must be a terrible person #who had never felt the touch of a wonderful woman before Etc and like #nah man he’s doing his fucking job making sure the ferry leaves on time and not taking shit from dumbass people who think the world revolves #around them #and i’m tired of it directed at myself as well my grandmother made a comment once about how i was just such an angry abrasive person and she #thought this meant i was unhappy and angry @ the world or whatever #no i’ve just spent so much of my life faking myself and my feelings for the comfort of other people and i actually feel so much better about #myself now that i’m not doing that anymore #being angry doesn’t make you a bad person #anger is not a bad emotion

2 notes · View notes

mcnuggyy · 1 year

Text

just remembered the fucked up dream I had last night where like 99% of the population switched bodies with somebody else somewhere in the world, BUT you weren’t aloud to talk about it at all or say who you really are or what your actual body looks like or else the government(?) would fucking kill you, like there was cameras watching us at all times, and people getting shot in front of us was common, it was very dystopian… but it was kind of an unspoken fact that almost all the people who were doing the best job at pretending to be people they weren’t were all transgender for some reason?? to the point where a lot of us had found ways to talk about it without talking about it and could bypass the cameras and shit… and the like guy who was all behind it had to get involved eventually…and he like started interviewing some of us and finally once and for all had us talk about who we really were and it was very dramatic and emotional but I woke up like immediately after saying what I looked like and who I was so 🤷🏻 who knows what would have happened next LMAO

#definitley some sort of weird queer horror trans narrative going on #but waking up I was like damn… I was getting misgendered left and right non stop and just had to deal w it #then I was like oh that’s already my existence LMAO #(I was on the body of a very very attractive young blonde woman btw #like MODEL type but I was still unhappy… even being conventionally attractive cause obviously I wasn’t myself #and I can’t even imagine what it would have been like with people experiencing racism for the first time or not experiencing it for the firs #t time… all sorts of wack stuff #I remember there being like a 60 year old guy who was on the body of a little girl #and when they die their bodies switch backed so you would see the like dead old man there instead of the little girl #but I’m not sure what happened to the other person you switched with? like did they die too? would u be responsible for their death?#or would they get to finally live as themselves again?#which would be worse?#idk…#cause then I could see like someone trying to find themself and then try and trick the other person #into talking about it so they could return back to their body #or you would always be on fear that someone out there on the other side of the world could kill you at any moment #NOT TO MENTION THE LANGUAGE BARRIER OF THATS A THING but I think in my dream people just were able to speak the language of the body they #switched into but yeah… anyways <3 #very interesting thought experience once again my dreams are always so strange lmao #callate guero

34 notes · View notes

hobisexually · 8 months

Text

why is January 2929293929 days long this year

#every day I wake up and . don’t want to #every day I have to drag myself to work and be entirely unhappy #and take every micro interaction as rejection #every day I think I have to push myself onto people in order to reach out and get what I want #but every time I’ve tried at work I don’t get it #and all my friends have a person that’s more important than me and I’m left behind #(the people I see every day or used to that is)#I attached so much of my value to work because it was the one thing I had a passion for #the one thing I could do #and now that’s gone and what the fuck do I have left #every day I sit at work and want to be so angry at everyone and I am but I’m also not and that’s what makes it worse #because I love them!!!!! I do!!!!!! but I get treated like SHIT #and everyone pretends it’s normal?#And then advises me to be More Forward in what I want?#when all I’ve been DOING is dragging myself out of comfort zones I have never been this uncomfortable ever and for WHAT #every day I’m in actual physical pain that MAYBE a surgery will be able to fix #every day I have to fight my piece of shit anxiety and seasonally depressed brain #every day I have to do physical therapy exercises or yoga or pelvic floor shit or mental therapy or whatEVER the fuck just to #find a sliver? of happiness somewhere?#And for WHAT #it hasn’t gotten me anywhere has it it hasn’t gotten me anything I wanted #tomorrow I’ll be able to look at the things I built and be happy about it again (maybe)#but today?#it’s a bad day #it’s such a BAD FUCKING DAY #I have cried every day since Sunday so far which is not normal for me I cry like five times a year usually #and my brain is screaming at me to isolate myself because at #least that way I’ll be safe from disappointing anyone #I hate when it’s a dark pit like this but what the fuck man #also the state of the goddamn world is. bad. and making me spiral worse and I just . 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

3 notes · View notes

milo-is-rambling · 1 year

Text

I am so high I love you dabs I love you big bong rips I love you huge heavy bong I love you only having 20 dollars to my name and no plans but getting high and ignoring it I love you oh no I’m thinking about it

#I want to take an ice cold shower and scream and smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and lock myself in a closet for 72 hours in the dark with #no distractions to figure out what I actually want to do with the rest of my life and to face every bad thought I have and struggle to #ignore even years later like ugh I just need to be at the bottom of the ocean floating sinking alive dead in between for like a month and #then pull me back up and either I’ll be normal or I’ll be so fucked up they just put me back in there #like either way I am vibing at the bottom of the ocean (I have been desperately imaging a sensory deprivation tank all day)#(put me in a fucking sensory deprivation tank until something in my fucking brain rewires and I get worse or better than I am now this #inbetween stage is fucking killing me like what do you mean I’m not a horrible person but also what do you mean I struggle every day but I’m #normal but I have things about me other people don’t and alienate me to the point of near total isolation but also this is just how humans #are and I need to take meds and actively struggle to fit into a perfect little box of what a person should be like god damn I am so tired of #getting better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and I’m miserable and I’m happy and I’m sobbing and #I know a month from now I’ll be depressed again or I’ll be the best I’ve ever been and it’s so fucking horrible to be in the middle stage #where I actually have to step up and admit shit is wrong and face it like why can’t I just lay in bed forever until I become the bed and not #like get a job and have a future. ugh. depression is so fucked esp bc most things in my life are normal I guess or like easier than my #friends like we all have seperate challenges but I’m the only one still living off their parents (ha. parent. forgot for a second.) and the #only thing wrong with my life is the mental health issues but I won’t step up and deal with it bc I feel like I’ve been depressed for so #long I like fucked up the foundational shit and like I know it’s fine but also I feel so behind and I feel like I’ll be behind and unhappy #forever even when im happy I know the next depressive episode is right around the corner and I give up again. ugh. I hate knowing that’s #what’s wrong with me but still not having the energy to step up and fix it. im so pathetic I want to cry. my brain is me but my brain is #destroying my life. anyways. im high and now im sad and have dry mouth. I think im gonna drink ice water and change into shorts+lay in bed)

5 notes · View notes

eeunwoo · 1 year

Text

dylan mulvaney’s new interview actually fucked me up like that’s like my entire existence on this webbed site

#spent the entire time I’ve been away thinking abt who I am and what I do and what kind of person I am #because I’m actually very well liked outside of tumblr believe it or not !! like irl I’m very well liked #replace happy with unhappy and remove the hyperfeminine ig bc that’s not me but otherwise that’s basically my existence here except for kpop #posting. not interested in debate btw im just thinking !!!!#posting here bc twt has a character limit and threads r so very long shfjsndns #and obviously I’m aware that it’s a v different situation but is it really because if u look at the users that get harassed most on tumblr #in comparison w those that don’t……. well. I’m just saying. it checks out 🫣#mrow.org

4 notes · View notes

lesamis · 2 years

Text

🐳

growing up is like. on a wednesday evening you suddenly understand that sometimes ppl who are bright and curious and full of love for the world go through sth so painful that they withdraw forever and they never get better and they may very possibly never be as well they wish they were again. and you have a cry about it alone at your desk. and then you literally just start cooking dinner

#(not a v happy post i'm sorry!)#had a letter from one of my mum’s friends today where she told me about the adventures she went on in her 20s #and she sounds so unrecognisable to the woman i know. i’ve known her all my life #but in all that time she’s been unhappy and unwell and fragile #this 24 year old who trekked through ao/nz on her own and walked on glaciers and in rainforests? who is that #and it struck me in a weird place bc i’m going through some Thing of some Weight currently where #someone i love very much is probably never going to be ok again but we’re so far apart that there’s like #genuinely nothing at all i can do to help her in any substantial or significant way like i can’t even hold her hand or speak to her #and it’s kind of an undercurrent of life rn so i sporadically cry about it a lot for a night or so #and then i just sort of. go on being in necessary denial.#and i don’t think i understood until now that my mum is on the other side of this experience #that those friends of hers i’ve only ever known as withdrawn and perpetually nervous and unhappy #aren’t That to my mum. they’re people she was young and happy and light with in the 80s #and until sth like that started happening to me w someone i love #i didn’t think about what it must have been like for my mum to watch someone so close to her change and retreat so completely #and now i just kind of. sit with it. like i was a miserable child and young adult and then i turned happy #and sometimes it’s the other way around #and it’s very often not in your power to prevent that so instead of like #keeping that person away from hurt forever like you want to. you just make dinner and that’s all #VERY SORRY FOR WHATEVER THIS IS #has to go somewhere ig!! but before someone gets worried yes i may go to counselling for this lmao. i'm fine i'm v cared for

14 notes · View notes

woodsy-hoe · 1 year

Text

v proud because i’ve been eating well, taking hour long walks + hikes daily, and confronting my negative thoughts about my body/food more often. slowly but surely getting there bois 🥲

#ed tw #i’ve been thinking about it lately and i was way unheathier + unhappy w my body when i was skinny vs now as a ‘fat’ person like fr #i’m starting to understand that i can work on myself bc i want to be healthier and happier but not to an extreme where i push myself #it’s just good to see bc i’ve hated myself for so long i’m ready to just accept and love how my body is taking care of me despite everything #shoutout to anyone else dealing with ed’s or body issues bc our society really hasn’t helped me with it (but lots of therapy has lol)#becca speaks

6 notes · View notes

lilgynt · 10 days

Text

i am like wildly overestimating how well i could defend myself with like no self defense training with or without weapons on my person but id prefer that over thinking i cant like. build up enough strength to overpower someone or be scared to go to places alone

#personal #the effect true crime and women working out primarily to lose weight and not gain strength #and this weird notion of. not weird but inflated sense of fear? in women my age makes me unhappy #like you can lift mattresses or washers and dryers or idk other heavy stuff you just have to try lifting heavy stuff #you can be strong enough to match or at least put up a decent fight with that male friend boyfriend relative #like the amount of videos i see of women being like when you realize even at ur full strength you xyz can easily over power you #which is scary i get that but it’s not some crazy inevitably if you have xx chromosomes???????????#and maybe this comes from being quote unquote a big girl my whole life #like sure i’m not 5’10 but im a good height #and i’m hefty i got weight and like ED and body issues aside #i do like that i have a heft to me and you FEEL when i push back and i feel relatively safe bc i know i got weight and strength #but idk. i just #feel like to some degree resignation #like oh even the skinny lean guy will be naturally stronger than you it’s so scary #my ex was taller than me and worked out and i could easily hold his arms down just with mine #let alone if i used my body #like i lifted him on my shoulders and i pinned him i was the stronger partner just with our natural body types #and for some chicks yeah ur 4’11 and struggle to break 100 pounds naturally yeah yeah. ur kinda cooked genetically #but for a lot of chicks it’s like no i think ur boyfriend wouldn’t over power you without any resistance if idk #you gained weight and muscle mass?#again i’m probably overly estimating what i can do #and a tiny chick who actually does self defense training will handle herself way better than me #which also is just kinda the point. like it’s not some unavoidable fate that a ‘man’ is gonna be unquestionably stronger #and even if so doesn’t mean you can’t be a better fighter or better at getting away #idk tik toks and insta reels going through a lot of gender essentialism #like i believe any person with xy chromosomes are naturally inclined to rape and murder #ohh! so close the issue is an ingrained societal issue that was learned behavior and ur spouting terf rhetoric

1 note · View note

tellie-vision-art · 4 months

Text

…

#vent #delete later #ngl I was trying to keep it in but that shit literally ruined my fucking day #should I kms #why does everyone think I’m a terrible person?#what did I do to deserve this?#I can’t do anything without someone deciding I suck bc of it #twt is down rn otherwise this would go on priv sorry I need to express this somewhere #I should kms #I’m sick of being painted as this terrible evil person just bc I experience human emotions #I should do it #but what should I try this time #I don’t want to deal with the itching if I fuck up the preferred method #I wonder if my emergency rope is still around it’s been a while since I’ve considered it #I must be a bad person #I kinda was thinking about trying to make friends with a mutual or two but #I’m not good enough everyone just ends up hating me #I don’t deserve anything #I must be doing something wrong #kill me and make it stop #I am the worst person alive #I am so unhappy #Haha I’m starting to get paranoid now #I need to blow my brains out #the gun shouldn’t have been empty last time I was sabotaged #this emptiness is unbearable make it end

0 notes

insanechayne · 5 months

Text

~ ~ ~

#feeling oddly unhappy right now #like there’s an ache in my chest and I feel desperate for some kind of distraction in general #I mean I might just need more sleep because I am fairly exhausted right now #but God I just feel horribly lonely and sad and pathetic right now #I’m still bothered and disappointed that bestie cancelled our concert plans and I also still kinda feel like his reason for it was a lie #I don’t really get to talk to my partner much unless we’re able to actually be together like when I’m at work or we make specific plans #we just don’t seem to have much to say over text and they’re not very responsive because they often forget to reply in the first place #easier to just send silly memes and videos and quick things rather than actually trying to talk #feel like even if I did need to talk to them it’d be a 50/50 bet on actually getting a reply #and I just feel really alone and like no one really has time for me or cares to put in much effort #and logically I know that isn’t true and I’ve been a lot better lately with my mental health and staying afloat and everything #but things have been getting a little worse lately and I feel like I’m slipping these past few days #I don’t really know what to do right now #and I’m overstimulated because my dad has a nurse here helping with wound care and of course they’re talking but my dog is also just whining #whining and crying and making constant noise because she wants to be part of things and get attention #and I think it’s just too much for me right now because I want everything to turn off for a while #maybe I’ll just hide under my blankets for a bit once the nurse leaves #try and make it through the rest of this day #sigh #personal

1 note · View note